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ateliersss · 11 months

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I wish I could stay in the Past

Pairing: Billy Loomis x Fem!Reader Summary: Who would have thought that 27 years after the first Woodsboro massacre, you still couldn't live in peace? Now, you have been asked by Agent Kirby Reed to come to New York, where apparently a new Ghostface killer was on the loose. For you, this meant going back into your past and meeting the person you were trying to protect from your life since she was born. Cross-posted on AO3: here Warnings: Spoilers for Scream VI, English isn't my first language Word Count: 5,890

Kirby stood in front of the white board plastered with photos of every Ghostface killer from 1996 to 2022, of the masks found at the crime scenes, and of the victims killed so far.

“…Mickey Altieri, Nancy Loomis, Stu Macher and Billy Loomis. Number One and also the father of our chief suspect.”

Detective Bailey, arms crossed before his chest, nodded before adding, “It’s all leading us back to Sam.”

“What about the girlfriend?” Kirby suddenly mumbled, more to herself than addressing the Detective.

“What? Who’s girlfriend?”

“(Y/N) (L/N). She and Billy were childhood sweethearts. Although she was never personally involved in any Ghostface incidents following 1996 she could never quite live her life in peace. I mean, come on. The mourning love interest has to be a main suspect. His mother tried to avenge his death and no one thought about that either. Then boom! Dead teenagers everywhere.”

Bailey turned his face to look at her with a raised eyebrow.

“What? It’s just an idea.”

“Hm.” He hummed, “It could be worth a shot.”

A totally stupid shot, because what sane person would suddenly seek revenge after 27 years? Well, if it keeps her occupied, who am I to stop her?

“Any idea on how we can reach her?”

Kirby smirked. “Of course I do.”

New York was far too loud, far too big and far too dirty for your liking. You preferred the calmness and the quiet of a nice little town somewhere far away from any crime or even the smallest hint of being dragged into another drama. You really thought you would finally be at peace, having that calm and quiet life, until you got a call from Agent Kirby Reed. You remember that name well. Besides Sidney and Gale, obviously, she was the only victim who survived the Second Woodsboro Massacre. On the phone she told you that someone had put on the Ghostface mask again and was after a group of teenagers. She wanted you to come to New York right away so you could be questioned.

It wasn’t the first time you were a suspect but being one again after almost 30 years? You were about to give vent to the familiar old feeling of simmering anger for being falsely accused again when…

“Your niece was among those who were attacked.”

“Sam?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m on my way. It’s going to take a few hours.”

“That’s alright. When you arrive in New York go straight to the NYPD and tell them you are here to see Agent Reed. Someone will show you the way to the office I’m currently occupying.”

You were just about to open the car door and leave the parking lot near the police station when you got a text.

[Agent Reed]: Change of plans. Someone thinks you need to see this too. Come to this address.

So now you were standing in front of some kind run-down movie theatre, not knowing if you were ate the right place. You read the text message again… nope, still the same street name and the same house number. You were about to dial Kirby’s number when someone called your name.

“Over here!”

You turned to the blonde woman standing a few meters away from you, holding open a metal door. “Agent Kirby Reed?” You asked.

“The one and only.” She nodded for you to follow her. “Come in, the others are already inside.”

It’s strange, you thought. I’m actually meeting Samantha.

You stopped at a metal bar door that already allowed you an insight of the room ahead of you. There was tingling feeling in your belly.

“You’re ready?”

You nodded as an answer, not trusting your mouth to form a decent sentence.

It felt like you were pushed back into your 18-year-old-self. Mannequins, display shelves and cases were set up and lead to a stage. It was impossible to take everything in at the same time so you walked through the row that was closest to you. Years of evidence put together like it was a museum, like a fucking…

“A shrine.” Kirby said from behind you. “Dedicated to every killer that put on the mask.”

You barely registered what she just said when you saw what was displayed at the end of the row. You almost couldn’t believe your eyes. There… There were Tatum’s clothes, the ones she wore when she was killed… and there was the robe Stu wore at his party… and Billy’s bloody t-shirt. You walked past a sitting mannequin looking exactly like Steve Orth until you were standing right in front of the white cloth still covered in blood. Huffing out a shaky breath, you reached out to touch it. Your fingers traced from every hole where he was stabbed until it stopped on the chest of the mannequin. You almost expected to feel a heartbeat underneath your skin…

Oh Billy.

Maybe it was the overwhelming, morbid nostalgic feeling that almost crushed you seeing all those reminders of your past, but you still hadn’t noticed the small group on the stage next to you watching you either with curious or wary eyes.

You were still caught up in your head, thinking back to that afternoon on September 28th in 1996 — you, reading another true crime novel and playing with the brown curls of your boyfriend’s hair while his head rested on your lap, napping. You two had stayed in this position until the sun went down. The clock read 6 PM when you decided to make dinner and he left the kitchen to make a quick phone call. When he got back…

“Billy, are you serious? There is a killer outside!”

“Stu lives only 10 minutes away. I’ll take the car.”

“Are you sure? Shouldn’t we call the police?”

“No, it’s alright. I’m just gonna make sure he doesn’t overdo it. You know how he is.”

You laughed, “Yeah, I do and I love him for that.”

Billy tilted his head, an amused glint in his eyes. “Oh really? I thought you loved me.”

The smile on your face grew brighter as he bent down to place a gentle kiss on your lips. “I do love you. So much.”

You snapped out of your thoughts.

It would have been perfect. A concerned Billy wanting to make sure his best friend was okay so he goes to his party to check on him, but is surprised by the killer. Both, he and Stu, are fighting to survive and in the end, sadly, they are the only ones still alive. The police would have believed them that it was Sidney’s father all along and you and Billy could have lived a happily ever after in another town, away from all that traumatic shit he ‘went through’.

But the reality was different. Billy had been a psychotic serial killer, murdering friends and class mates and even Sidney’s mother. He had been the one getting addicted to the feeling of killing someone after Maureen Prescott, he had been the one who had done all those horrible things…

“Kirby, who’s that?” A female voice asked.

Kirby gave you a quick look before answering, “This is (Y/N) (L/N)-“

“(Y/N)?” Gale interrupted her and watched you climb the stairs of the stage.

You first inspected each of the 9 Ghostface mannequins — your eyes lingering on the middle one a little longer — before acknowledging her. You still held a grudge against her considering how much she had turned your life upside down.

“Hello Gale. Long time no see.” You greeted her with a tight smile on your lips. “And since I was ordered here for an interrogation, let’s be honest. It’s actually (Y/N) Carpenter.”

Everyone but Gale suddenly straightened up before the teenagers of the group looked at the two girls closest to the Ghostface costume in the glass case. Both looked at you with furrowed eyebrows as if they were trying to somehow place you in their family tree.

Looking at her made you tear up. You smiled. “Hi Samantha.”

“It’s… just Sam, actually. I’m sorry, do I know you?” She asked you, confused, still trying to remember where and when she met you.

“You don’t, but I know you. Christina told me everything about you, always kept me up-to-date.” You took a quick breathe to control your emotions. “God, you’ve grown. You look so much like him.”

Sam shifted on her feet, not liking where this conversation was going. “Him? You mean my father.”

“How do you know our mom?” The short girl next to her butt in. She seemed just as wary as her sister.

“Christina is my older sister.”

“So you’re our aunt.”

“Not exactly. I’m your aunt, Tara.” You said before addressing Sam directly, “Christina called me when you found out who your real father is in those diaries.” You were really about to drop the bomb. “You know, those diaries weren’t hers… they were mine.”

“What are you saying?”

“That the one who got pregnant by Billy Loomis wasn’t Christina. It was me.”

Sam looked at you like you've grown a second head. “So what? You’re… You’re my mother?”

“Biological, yes. In any other way, probably not.”

“Oh my God.” She started to walk up and down with her hands gripping her hair. “Oh my God.”

“I know it’s a lot, but-“

“A lot? You just come here, a total stranger, and tell me you’re my mother when the woman who raised me all those years isn’t actually my mom but my aunt!”

“I don't expect you to replace her with me and accept me as your new mother, Sam. I’m not planning on taking you with me to force you into mother-daughter-relationship after 26 years. I’m here to help you.”

Sam’s head whipped around to look at Kirby.

“She’s on my suspect list, Sam.” Kirby shrugged, “Apparently no one thinks about the revengeful love interest.”

“But I have an alibi.” You defended yourself, “I wasn’t even near New York when the teacher and the students were murdered. Same goes to the therapist and your two friends. I actually expected being questioned at the NYPD, but if you actually want to interrogate me here, go ahead.”

“Then why are you here? This very place?”

You looked back at Tara. “Because Agent Reed told me to. From what she told me we experienced similar situations and she thought I had a right to see this too.” You looked around the room. “My past is on display here as much as hers or Gale's.”

Sam shook her head, taking a step forward. “So, just to get this straight. You get knocked up by a serial killer and then just leave the baby with your sister? You found out you were pregnant with me and dumped me because what? You didn’t want to be a mom at such a young age? Or was it because you were disgusted by me?”

Your eyes widened. Of course you expected some resistance and some accusations, but it was still like a knife to your heart to see her betrayed expression and hear her furious voice. “No, of course not. I loved you the second I held you in my arms.”

“Then why?”

“I had no other choice! Do you know how hard it was, living like I had to after your father died? The names they called me? And you… you were the size of a grape and they already called you the Devil’s Spawn. No one wants to raise a child in an environment like that.”

“So you just abandoned me? Left me behind so you could get away from everything?”

“I didn’t abandon you, I gave you a safe life away from every threat that could hurt you or even corrupt you. After that night when… when it all happened, my normal life was over. Either all those blase do-gooders in Woodsboro treated me like I put a Ghostface mask on and killed all those people myself, or I was viewed by these Stab-obsessed lunatics as some sort of precious artifact left behind by their idol. I was ambushed by dozens of assholes in costumes and got 3 or 4 calls a day. Even after I moved to other towns, fuck, even to another state, and I still couldn't live my life in peace. Thanks, by the way.” You turned to Gale.

“What, me?”

“The tirade of hate you wrote about me in your damn books. First the boyfriend, then the mother of the boyfriend, and then even Roman Bridger just because he was the one who stirred Billy on into going on a killing spree. You even mentioned me in your fourth book when I literally had no connection to anything that happened that year! You made it look like I pulled the strings, egged on every Ghostface, and was planning every murder, Gale.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. Just like you called Sam a born killer, you called me the secret Ghostface that got away who will someday get revenge on Sidney for killing the love of her life.”

Gale opened her mouth, but having nothing to reply with, she closed it again.

Using the following silence to return to the current problem, Chad asked, “So, just to make sure before that–” He awkwardly gestured to you and Sam “–happened. Someone killed these chucklefucks and took over?”

“Someone who believes that Sam masterminded Woodsboro.”

“If this would be a movie this would be the killer’s lair.”

“Which means this isn’t a normal Stab movie.”

Apparently that gave Tara the rest, as she left the stage with brisk steps and disappeared into an adjoining room. Sam was hot on her heels.

Shortly thereafter, the rest of the group split up — Kirby joined Mindy to sit on the edge of the stage, Ethan and Chad were on different sides of the room, looking at the displayed evidence, and Detective Bailey was talking to someone on the phone.

You finally had time to walk to and look at the glass case in front of you. It was a bittersweet feeling, knowing that the one you had loved the most in this world killed four people and thereby started a future death streak, all committed in costumes of his alter ego.

You were so deep in thought that ten minutes had passed and you hadn't noticed that Sam was back and was standing behind you.

“Are you married?” She asked, attracting your attention.

You took your eyes off of Billy’s name plate and looked into her brown ones that reminded you so much of her father’s. “What?”

Sam nodded down to your hand. “Do you have a family?”

Ahh…

“Oh, no. No, I don’t. That’s a promising ring. You know, when you promise someone to stay together forever and maybe get married one day. Do you kids still do that?”

“Yeah, when we’re like twelve, not fifty.”

You chuckled. “Ouch. I still have six years until I’m that old.” Sighing, you touched the ring and rolled it around your ring finger. “No, I was actually twelve years when… well, when your dad gifted it to me. So young and he already wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. This one–” You held the hand with the ring at eye level, “–was never ever replaced since then. His is right here.” You pulled the silver chain from underneath your t-shirt and revealed a similar ring just slightly bigger.

A shiver ran down Sam’s back, before asking in disbelief, “You kept it?”

“I did. And I know it seems like I went crazy or something while grieving, but I was young and devastated. I just lost the love of my life. Some grow distant and want to avoid anything that has to do with their lost loved one or being constantly reminded of them. Others, like me, have to hold onto every little fiber of them. I wore his clothes, put on his cologne… God, it was really a terrible way to cope.”

Sam grimaced.

You smiled slightly. “What?”

“It’s just strange hearing someone talk about him like he was…”

“Human?”

“He killed people, he was murderer, and you… you loved him.”

“Do you think it’s easy to stop loving someone in mere seconds? Minutes, hours, days, weeks? You have that person who you would die for, who you would kill for. This person is your everything, and you can’t imagine a life without them. So you plan it with that person; how you will graduate, how you will find a job, how you will leave both your parent’s houses to move together, maybe move to a new town, how you will have children with them, how you will marry them, and how you will grow old with them. Billy was my person, the one I wanted all those boring normal things with. And you have those normal things. You hold hands, cuddle, kiss, go on dates...” You stopped and took a breath. “Until the police shows up at your door and tells you that the one who had murdered your friends was him all along. There’s a sliver of hope that maybe, maybe you can visit him in prison so you can talk to him. But that won’t happen because the police tells you right after that he had been killed by your best friend, Sidney Prescott, and that they have some questions for you.”

You still remember how they interrogated you and asked you if you knew about Billy’s doings, if they were signs that seemed suspicious, asked you about the places you have been when he and Stu killed another victim and if there were people who could vouch for you. After two hours they finally let you go, saying they would call you if they had any more questions. You asked if you could see him, his body. Since his mother left, his father was nowhere to be found and Billy had no other close relatives, you were the next best option.

The moment you saw him, lying there cold and pale on that metal table, your whole world crumbled. With slow shaky steps you had walked closer and closer to him. Almost relieved for something to hold on, you had supported yourself by grabbing the table. At that moment you didn’t care who could see you or who could hear you… you just cried. Your sobs and hysterical breathing had filled the room, your knees buckling and your knuckles turning white from how hard you had clutched the table.

“No. No, no, no.”

You had started to hyperventilate. It got harder and harder to breathe. The walls seemed to grow closer.

And then everything went black.

When you woke up in a hospital bed you were greeted by a nurse who tried to calm you down. She told you, according to the coroner, you had passed out after having a panic attack. Just to make sure that was the actual reason they ran a few tests — nothing special, just the usual hospitals did when patients arrived unconscious. She had reassured you after you gave her a concerned look.

“Don’t worry, honey. The results of blood tests didn’t show anything worrying, but I can give you my congratulations. You are pregnant.”

Pregnant.

With Billy’s…

“You are three weeks along. The embryo is as tiny as a poppy seed, just a millimeter.”

You had gaped at her still in disbelief.

Pregnant.

You were pregnant.

You were pregnant with Billy’s baby.

Billy…

Tears had started to form in your eyes and the nurse got blurry. Again there was this feeling in your chest that there was not enough air around you and it got harder to breathe.

“Hey, it’s okay, sweetie. Since you’re only eighteen, we called your parents. They should be here soon.”

Your mom and dad had been more or less supportive. They had always loved Billy. There had been many get-together’s with his family — barbecue, picnics, movie nights. Your parents got along well. But when Billy was revealed as the Ghostface killer, yours had cut ties with the Loomis family and sheltered you from any contact from them.

What they couldn’t shelter you from was Nancy Loomis’ surprise visit three months later. Thanks to Gale’s book — because she somehow managed to find out the reason for your visit to the hospital and because this heartbreaking twist would boost her sales — everyone knew you were pregnant. Including Mrs. Loomis.

You were still stuck deep in your depression. You went from mourning him to call everything into question — was it all a lie? Every touch, every kiss, every I-love-you, every time you made love and talked about the most intimate things — to mourning him again. You were a mess.

It was too much when Billy’s mother was suddenly standing on your doorstep. You had slammed the door right into her face when you saw who was interrupting your crying fest, but through the door she had convinced you to let her in so you could talk. Your hormones got the better of you and you opened the door. Her eyes flew instantly to your belly, but your baby bump wasn’t visible through the white tee and the blue flannel.

“You have his clothes?”

“I have all his stuff. His clothes, his posters, his movies.”

You had talked to Hank and begged him to have some of his things. He had stopped you mid-rant and said you could have everything you wanted; he didn’t want it in his house. So you grabbed everything you could. When you saw the pictures displayed in his room — of you and of you and him — you turned into a crying mess and collapsed on his bed. His pillow still had smelled like him.

You must have fallen asleep because the next thing you remember was Mr. Loomis shaking you awake, looking into your bloodshot eyes and asking you if you were okay.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to-“

“(Y/N), I asked you if you’re okay.”

You had pressed your wobbly lips together and shook your head. He had engulfed you in his arms and tried his best to comfort you. After all, you were still you and despite every negative thought and feeling he held for his son and his deeds, you were not at fault. You were still the little girl from next door he had hoped to be his future daughter-in-law. You left that day with most of his stuff carefully packed up in the trunk of your car. You knew this wasn’t healthy, morbid even — the girl who grabbed the belongings of her dead killer-boyfriend to put everything in her room to have at least a hint of his presence, a imaginary possibility of him still being here with her. Now there were even more pictures of your smiling faces on your shelf, your desk, the table next to your bed and on your walls. Your closet was fuller with the addition of his t-shirts and his jackets. His movie collection was proudly placed next to yours on your shelf.

There was also a box under your bed. When you went through Billy’s tiny walk-in closet you found a cavity hidden behind the wallpaper. Inside of it was a black costume, a Ghostface mask and a knife.

A bloody knife.

Whose blood was that?!

Before you could muster another thought you scrambled to the garbage can and emptied your stomach. When you were done you felt a wave of guilt wash over you.

What were you doing? How did you not notice any suspicious change?

Well, there was this one time after his mom left. He had been so distant, strange, and there had been a dark glint in his eyes when you had cornered him after a week of radio silence. The look he fixed you with gave you the heebie-jeebies. He came around a few days later and acted like nothing had happened between the two of you.

Going back to Mrs. Loomis’ visit, you took your time warming up to her. Seeing her cry and listening to her begging you for forgiveness in Billy’s stead. Under the influence of, again, your stupid pregnancy hormones you gave in and made her a cup of tea. You two talked for hours, mostly about her son and how much she regretted leaving him behind, then Mrs. Loomis wanted you to tell her everything about what happened after leaving and what happened that night in Stu Macher’s house. When you ended your story with your pregnancy, she smiled.

“Even though he’s gone there is still a part of him with us. There is still something important I have to do, but after that I will take care of you and the little one and support the both of you in any way possible. I promise, sweetie.”

As it turned out, the important thing she had to do was to kill Sidney. The target on your back you thought had disappeared returned with Gale Weather’s second book. Again, you were harassed and threatened until you couldn’t take it anymore and you moved away. It got harder each time since you were in the last stages of pregnancy. It hurt thinking about it, but you would never put your baby into a life like this. So you did what you thought was right.

Your sister was more than happy to take her in. Christina would inherit their family’s home and would be able to raise your daughter — now your niece — safely.

Snapping out of your thoughts you continued, “Back then I was at the lowest point in my life and out of all people Sidney was the one who got me back on track. My mom and dad, your grandparents, must have asked her to come over to talk to me. I actually thought she would just turn around and walk away when she saw my room, considering it was crammed with Billy's stuff. He was in every corner of it, the man who killed her mother and almost killed her. She should be the one staying in bed, crying until she passed out. After all she’s the one who survived all that traumatic shit. ”

“Sidney visited you?”

You huffed. “Of course she did. I was her best friend. Randy and I were the only survivors out of our friend group. He and Sidney were the only ones who still treated me like a normal human being.” You shrugged. “Anyways. Sidney was there for me. At first I wasn't sure if I even wanted to see her. Inside, I knew she had no choice but to kill Billy, but I still held a grudge against her. I was afraid I would take all my anger and sadness out on her. But the second she put her arms around me, all negative thoughts disappeared and I realized how much I needed my best friend at that moment. She got me out of bed, made me go to see a therapist and kept reminding me of you, Sam.” You looked at your daughter. “I couldn’t allow myself to be selfish. I had to think of your well-being, too.”

Sam nodded in understanding and then looked around the room. “I… I'll go check on Tara.” It looked like she wanted to add something, but she apparently she couldn't find the right words.

You gave her a sanguinely smile. “You do that. When this is all over, I promise you that we can talk about everything in peace and I will answer any question you might have. Only if you want, of course.”

“I’d like that.” Sam said before turning around to go looking for her sister.

You watched her until she disappeared from your sight and turned back to Billy's costume. It didn’t even look that scary from your point of view — which might have been due to the lack of a mask — but almost 30 years ago you had thought of it differently. You looked to the Ghostface costume on the right, your eyes slowly dragging down the black fabric until they reached the name tag.

Stu.

You looked up again, scrutinizing the whole look.

You remember the first and only time you were face to face with it. Your parents were on a once-in-a-blue-moon date in a nice restaurant, leaving you alone for a few hours. They only had been out of the house for 30 minutes when you got the infamous call. You skipped to the living room, letting you dinner heat up in the microwave, and picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hello.”

“Yes?”

“Am I talking to (Y/N)?”

“Yeah. Who is this?”

“You could say a secret admirer.”

“Oh yeah? Well I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I have boyfriend whom I love very much.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.” You giggled, lazily playing with the phone cord.

“That’s a shame, really. In that little dress you look like a girl a guy would kill for.”

The smile completely disappeared from your face as you turned to every window the living room possessed.

“What?”

It felt like someone had punched you in the gut, knocking all the air out of your lungs. You abruptly remember the things Sidney had told you about what happened that night when she was attacked — the smooth male voice, the things he said that gave her the chills, him in a black robe and a white ghost mask, trying to kill her.

Before you could think twice you slammed the telephone handle on the hook.

“Okay, okay. Just relax. Just some weirdo trying to scare you. It doesn't necessarily have to be-”

You shrieked when the doorbell rang.

“Jesus.” With a hand pressed against your chest, you walked to the door. “Who’s there?”

No answer.

“Billy, is that you?”

There was no other possibility than him, considering you casually mentioned to him that your parents weren’t home with a mischievous smirk on your lips. This time he wouldn’t have to sneak through your window. You were just opening the door, pondering whether you should tell him about the weird call or not, when you were met with a white ghost mask.

Screaming, you slammed the door shut and locked it. You could hear his body colliding with the door, kicking against it, trying to open it. You didn’t even think about waiting for him to successfully gain access and ran up to your room. You locked the door of your room too before grabbing your cell phone and dialing Billy’s number.

“Billy, please. Billy, please. Pick up, please.”

You ran to the window that was facing Billy’s. His room was completely dark.

You let out a whimper. “Come on, Billy, please. Please pick up.” Tears streamed down your face. When you heard the door slam against the wall downstairs, you clamped a hand over your mouth to stifle a scream.

“(Y/N)?”

Relief washed over you. You swirled around, seeing Billy standing at his window with his phone pressed against his ear.

“Billy…” You tried to control your breath. “T-There is someone in the house… the killer. He is wearing the mask Sidney told us about. He is… He is…”

You watched your boyfriend disappear, presumably running out of his room to get to you.

“It’s okay, baby. Is your door locked?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“Okay, good. Push your dresser in front of the door and hide in the closet. Stay there until I tell you it’s safe. I’m coming, baby, you hear me?”

You heard him skipping down the stairs, listened to his reassuring words.

“I-I’m scared, Billy. I don’t want t-to die.”

“You won’t, I promise you. Just do what I told you. Now!”

Nodding, you ran to your dresser and pushed against it with your whole body weight until it was in front of your door. Next you ran to your closet, pulled open the door, closed it and crouched in a corner far back against the wall.

“I’m in the closet.” You whispered and when you got no answer you added, “Billy? Bill-”

You were interrupted by a loud “Hey!” and something that sounded like fighting noises. Whimpering you fought with yourself — on the one hand you wanted to disobey Billy’s wishes and help him out of concern that the killer might hurt him; on the other hand you wanted to do what he told you and stay hidden.

Meanwhile, Billy was seething as he grabbed his best friend by his collar and forcefully pushed him against the wall in the narrow floor leading to your room. He pulled down the mask and revealed Stu’s jolly face.

“What the fuck did I tell you, huh? (Y/N) is off-limits!” Billy whisper-yelled, pulling Stu lightly to himself before slamming him hard against the wall, not releasing his grip.

Stu groaned. “I just wanted to scare her a little. I thought it would be funny.”

If he weren't Billy’s best friend and if they didn't have big plans ahead of themselves, Billy would have strangled him by now. He tried to channel his rage and took a deep breath before saying, “Listen, dipshit. She. Is. Off. Limits! Killing your ex? I’m in. Her new boy toy? No problem. But keep your fucking hands off of her or I’ll cut your fingers off one by one and push them down your throat, got it?”

Stu gulped and nodded, his big smile morphing into a smaller one. He wasn’t scared of Billy, but Stu had to admit that there were some moments when his aggressions got worrisome.

“Now get out!” Billy hissed and let go of Stu. He waited a moment before knocking on your door.

“(Y/N), it’s me. It’s okay, he’s gone.”

There was shuffling behind the door and a minute later you ripped it open and flung yourself into his arms. Billy was shushing you, caressing your back while listening to you crying. “It’s okay, I’m here.” He kept saying.

When your breathing calmed down, he pulled away from you and placed his hands on both of your cheeks while looking deep into your eyes.

“You’re stupid, you know that?” You mumbled, “Without thinking you ran into a house with a killer in it.”

“The only thing I could think in that moment was you.”

You slightly shook your head with a small smile. “You’re so cheesy.”

Billy huffed a laugh before turning serious again. “Are you hurt?”

“No. I was fast enough to close the door, ran upstairs, lock my door and hide in the closet just as you told me. There won’t even be bruise.”

“Good.” He nodded and kissed you forehead. “It won’t happen again, I promise.”

You, of course, had no idea what happened that evening outside of your room. You didn’t know about the lengths he would go for you to keep you safe. You didn’t know he would have killed for you. You didn’t know that Billy’s feelings and his love for you were genuine, something you truly questioned after the things Sidney had told you about that night. You didn’t know that he felt scared when he realized that his plan was failing and he maybe wouldn't be able to see you again. You didn’t know that you were his last thought before he was shot in the head.

#scream #scream movies #scream 6 #billy loomis x female reader #billy loomis x reader #billy loomis x you #ghostface x reader #ghostface x you

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gay-dorito-dust · 1 year

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Ooooooo what about shy reader is girlfriend of billy Batson and adopted daughter and protege of Wonder Woman. I think it’s cool that Zeus gives Y/n powers like Wonder Woman, even flying and lasso of truth. Her code name will be like “Athena” or something since Wonder Girl is taken 🤷🏻‍♀️ Just (superhero) fluff

https://pin.it/7LL9aRf

This went hella off request but still I hope you enjoy it either way. also this is a long as one, so buckle in for that. 🦦

Living not only as the daughter but also the protege to the one and only Diana Prince, aka Wonder Woman, was never an easy task as many of the adoring public that would’ve killed to be in your situation made it out to be. It was anything but an heavenly paradise that they think it was, the glitz and the glamour were merely an guise used to evade the prying eyes from the hardships of being the child of a prominent superhero.

Everyone knew your name, everyone knew your face as it was just as heavily publicised alongside your mother’s, but you soon grew to realise that no one ever truly cared about you other then when the person your bore the same last name with was involved. You weren’t as bold, as striking in beauty nor confidence as Diana, no. You were on the opposite side of the spectrum to her and that’s what made you a shadow in the eyes of the public; Prince in name but never in the way you held yourself. You were so vastly different from your mother that many weirdos came up with an obscenely obscured conspiracy theory that you weren’t actually Wonder Woman’s child, instead that you were just some random kid with a similar power set that she just so happened to take on out of sheer convenience.

You couldn’t help that you were shy, meek and insecure. And sure Diana was a wonderful mother to you, always empowering you, encouraging you and helping you hone your abilities and offering you grand advice when you felt lost in it all but how could you possibly tell her that all these issues of uncertainty and doubt stemmed from the pressure placed on your shoulders of being her daughter? You couldn’t but yet your mother always seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to you and your well being it seems.

‘Y/n, dear.’

‘Yeah?’

Diana pats the space next to her, ‘come.’ You sit yourself down next to her, your form slightly more hunched compared to her straight, prim and proper form. ‘You’re still at unrest with yourself.’ She started before casting her eyes towards you. ‘Being my child has only made you hate the skin that you’re in and despite not telling me outwardly, your body language tells me all I need to know about your struggles.’ Your breath hitched in your throat but you seemed to lack the backbone to say anything in that moment, allowing your mother the go ahead to continue.

‘You shouldn’t heed the words of the outside, gifting them residence with your head for they opinions on you are not your responsibility to change. For they would always remain the same no matter what one does to contradict their comments, I have long since learnt that some people are more then willing to die on their hills,’ she placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder, ‘you’ve just got to learn to not let them crucify you on them. For every they would crack under the weight of having greatness pressure upon them whilst you on the other hand have found the tools to stabilise yourself despite it all and because of that, you are every bit worthy of the name Athena.’ You swore you could’ve cried right then and then but instead chose to cling on tightly to your mother like you did whilst young.

Moving onto Billy now and needless to say he was more then happy to be your vocal piece when your own words failed you, to protect you when you yourself couldn’t because it made him like as though he was actually worth someone amazing and a beautiful and as badass like you. When in actuality he was more then frightened of someone like Jon Kent or Damian Wayne, second generation heroes of famous parents just like you, would swoop in and take you from him because they understood your circumstance better then an orphan in a foster home of 5 ever could.

Sure he had a crush on your mum but so did practically everyone else but Billy felt extremely special when you chose him out of everyone else to date, he felt as though he had been touched by fate or by an higher deity when you accepted to become his girlfriend. The boy was practically all dopey smiles and heart eyes for weeks afterwards which warded a frightened looking Freddy away for awhile, who claimed that his best friend and brother had been replaced by a shapeshifting villain.

For those weeks Billy felt lighter then air whenever you were nearby, his eyes practically beaming with life, with love, with adoration, so much so that he could honestly care less that he was becoming a walking cliche because any time Billy got to spend with you were the highlights of his life, not day, life. You had the supposed tough guy hooked with every laugh, chuckle or unintentional snort that trickled sweetly from your lips like ambrosia. Billy was more then willing to make a fool out of himself just to hear it again as though it were the first time all over again.

He was willing to fulfil your every wish, hanging off your every word as though it were gospel. If you had an shrine Billy would worship at the foot of it every day just to catch a glimpse of your beautiful form. To Billy, despite not wanting to consider himself a hopeless romantic, you were moulded by Aphrodite’s hands, wielded together by Hephaestus, gifted by the likes of Zeus and Athena, blessed with a fiery tenacity to defend and protect what was rightfully yours by Ares.

You were perfection in incarnate to Billy and he would let you know that in the most subtlest of ways throughout everyday life but in the moments where you need his comfort most, that’s when he chose to open his mouth and say all things that he’s been wanting to say but never was given the right opportune moment to do so.

While Billy was there for you in your times of need, you never failed to be by his side during his own time of need. Whether it be family related or Shazam related, you were always sat by his side in respectful silence because you knew that for Billy, opening up about what was ailing him was particularly the hardest part, so when he does, you come packing with the advice your mother has given you and even your own that you’ve accumulated from similar experiences.

You’ve come to hold the trust Billy put in you as the highest regard you’ve ever received because after hearing his life story, trust, loyalty, vulnerability and having someone who was going to be a constant in his life were just only some of the many things he was deprived of thanks in due to the abandonment of his parents. Which never failed in making you made to the point where your control over your powers almost became out of wack if it weren’t for Billy reigning you in.

You’ve became Billy’s support system as he became yours that even in the heat of battle you both never strayed too far from one another unless it was absolutely necessary or that you could handle the opposition without putting yourselves under too much strain on your parts. But it’s impossible to deny that Shazam and Athena were one hell of a duo, a duo that was taking Philadelphia by storm.

Billy, in my personal opinion, would love to keep you tucked against his side but this would only occur in the safety of the his room, he’s not massive on PDA other then small instances where your holding hands, he’s fine with that but anything else was strictly for the both of you only. Even during the instances where Freddy accidentally walks in on you both cuddling and being too couple like for his taste as he’d only just make a face and a passing comment.

Don’t worry he loves you both but really? Pda in his and Billy’s shared room? Leave room for Jesus or Zeus if that’s what you were going to do.

Billy would muck about with your lasso of truth but end up getting caught in it and whilst you laugh your ass off, he’d look at you with soft eyes and say, ‘your laughter is what heaven sounds like.’ And you’d immediately become flustered by the sincerity of his words and how he looked at you whilst trapped within the glowing rope of your lasso. ‘That’s just the lasso making you speak that Billy.’

‘No it’s true! Everything about you is what I think elysium would be like. Your beauty is godly that even when you wake in the morning, you steal my breath and I’m stuck to wonder what makes me so special. You could have someone like Jon Kent or Damian Wayne, yet you choose me, stupid Billy Batson who can’t even speak on my own accord without some outer interference forcing me to. I don’t deserve you y/n/n. I really don’t but that don’t mean I don’t love you because I do.’ He chuckles as some tears brim his green-brown eyes as his next words came out as a breathless chuckle. ‘I fucking do, so much. The lasso may make me says these things but it’s call the lasso of truth for a reason y/n.’

You then would help him free from the lasso before cupping his cheeks, pressing your forehead against his own as you whispered your own truth against his lips.

‘You’re all I need, you’re all I’ve ever wanted, I don’t want a Jon Kent or Damian Wayne…all I need is you Billy Batson. For my heart belongs to you eternally.’

#dc imagines #dc imagine #dc x you #dc x reader #dc fic #dc fanfic #Shazam imagine #Shazam imagines #shazam x reader #Shazam x you #billy batson x reader #Billy batson x you #Billy batson imagines #Billy batson imagine #billy batson fanfic #Billy batson fic #fem reader

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queenofthearchipelago · 1 year

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Look, listen, and then repeat after me:

You don't need to prove that Mike and El have a completely garbage relationship to "prove" that Mike and Will are gonna end up together.

Romantically, Mike and El have their problems. Personally, I think too many problems for them to fix healthily and move on from them. I feel they're better off as friends. And part of the reason that I, and many of you, feel that way is because they actually have a healthy foundation for a good friendship.

We don't need to diminish that Mike was the only one who helped El is season 1, when she was alone with no where to go. Yeah he was gonna turn her in at first, and yeah it was a massive plus that she could help him find Will. He still didn't turn on her after they found Will's dead body. He biked home alone, crying the entire way, and then continued sobbing into his mother's arms when he got to his house and yet the next time we see Mike, Eleven is on the ground in her fort right next to him.

He believed she wasn't the monster. He believed in her ability to do good and be good when she was scared of who she was and what she was capable of.

He cared for her well being, worried over whether she was over doing herself. He tried to teach her about the outside world, because there's so many awesome things out here and she didn't know about any of them.

When Billy nearly killed her, he picked up a pipe to bash his brains in, risking his own life in the process for her. They had other friends there, but Mike was the one with the presence of mind and the guts to do it.

He missed her when she was gone. He wants to be on good terms with her. He wants to talk things out when things go wrong. He wants to understand. He wants to be there for her. He wants her to allow him to believe in her. He wants to be a source of her strength when she needs him.

Do these things get jumbled up and weird in the context of their romance? Yes. I believe they do. But underneath that is, in fact, a healthy enough friendship that we dont need to be ripping apart every scene they have together.

At the end of season 4, El wasn't really talking to Mike. All she said was that she lost, that she'e never really lost before, and that Papa said this would happen. Yeah, maybe that's not saying much considering that Max died for a whole minute and also Mike confessed his love for her. It doesn't look good for the romance.

But for their friendship?

In a van containing her two brothers and Mike, she decided to tell Mike what happened. It was Mike she talked about Brenner to. Not Jonathan. Not Will.

Mike.

That's not nothing. All that guilt and suffering El must have been going through, and she still, on some level, despite whatever feelings what might have been having about Mike's love confession, still decided to talk to Mike about this little bit of what's bothering her.

When Mike and El figure all this out, they'll have a beautiful friendship. I think we can all agree on that. And in the meantime, we don't need to erase the incredible friendship they have now. A friendship where Mike still looks for her when she's gone. Still wants to understand her.

Maybe El doesn't reach out to Mike the way she used to. And there are ways in which we see that's a good thing. But in that hospital room, when Max was covered in casts and unconscious, El leaned on Mike. It doesn't have to be romantic. But she leaned on him. It's not nothing. She still finds comfort in him.

For Byler to be real, we don't have to go so hard to prove that nothing about Mike and El was real. They're very real. That foundation is still there. And it's good. And they'll figure it out one day.

#byler #stranger things #mike wheeler #eleven #i just think you guys really need to chill out with the ship wars #talking as if mike and el are just horrible for each other and nothing good ever happens between them #its weird my dudes #thoughtsfromthequeen

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writer-in-theory · 2 years

Text

Complete Me — harringrove

One month after Neil died, Billy gets mail.

It was two weeks after the funeral—a measly affair organized by Susan and attended only by him and Steve. Billy is sure Steve wouldn't have gone if he hadn't insisted, but he also knows his boyfriend would follow him to the ends of the world if he asked. He'd gone farther, even, traveling through what Billy now knew was the Upside Down to return him home.

The dread the clung to Billy's chest as he grabbed the envelope should have clued him in. It should have warned him, should have done anything to prepare him for what was contained within.

We cordially invite Mr. William Hargrove and one guest to the union of Mr. Roger Danielson and Mrs. Lily Hargrove.

It was a wedding invitation for a ghost, for the parent who felt more dead than his father even now.

He'd held the cardstock tightly in his hands, sitting unmoving on the couch long past when his joints had gone stiff. All he could do was run his fingers gently over the name, like that could somehow ease the storm brewing within. That was how Steve found him, five hours later when he'd gotten off of work.

"We don't have to go, you know," Steve reminded him months later from the passenger seat of his own BMW, having allowed Billy to drive most of the way because he wanted the distraction.

Billy just gripped the wheel tightly when they passed the shiny 'Welcome to California' sign. "Yeah we do, Steve."

That was how Steve knew just how badly his boyfriend was hurting. It felt like he hadn't called him by his actual name in ages, not since he'd taken down the Mind Flayer all on his own, not since that first strange flicker of light that clued Steve in that he was still alive.

Steve knew they had to go. He knew from the moment he'd leaned over Billy's unmoving shoulder that day, read the words and felt his heart sink into his chest. He knew when Billy had finally broken down a week later, sobbing into Steve's arms because she had known where he was all along, and she never came. Not when Neil moved them out of California after people became too suspicious of the bruises, not when there was a highly publicized funeral for the son who was killed in a tragic mall accident, not when that son made a miraculous return to life eight months later.

She never showed up, and yet Billy would be there on her day. Steve wished he could beg Billy not to go, to stay in Hawkins and help Lucas practice for the big basketball game coming up, help El with her high school homework and Max with her driving. He wanted to tell him that she wasn't his family anymore, hadn't been since she'd abandoned him with a monster, that his family was in a small fucking town in the middle of Nowhere, Indiana. Steve also knew, though, that he would have to decide that for himself. So he helped Billy pack up the car and set out across the country to chase a ghost, because where wouldn't he go for his love?

The wedding wasn't a small affair like Billy had pictured, but rather a full church of people he didn't know, all celebrating a woman he didn't know. It hurt worse to find that he didn't even recognize his mother when she came through the big double doors. She'd dyed her hair a darker hue in the last decade, no longer matching his blond curls. She'd ditched the carefree, free-flowing outfits for what looked like a sophisticated, traditional dress. He could have sworn he remembered a sparrow tattooed on the back of her left shoulder, but there was nothing left to show for it.

This wasn't the woman he remembered. This wasn't the woman from the beach that had saved him from the Mind Flayer. This was a woman who was no less a stranger than the man she was marrying.

Billy wanted to retch. He smiled and clapped when they kissed instead.

"We don't have to go to the reception, we can leave," Steve offered, always checking up on him at the right times, like Steve could see straight into his chest and pick through all the emotions swirling there that even Billy couldn't identify by name. Maybe he really could.

"I have to go," Billy answered back just as softly, softer than his voice had been in years. He thinks it might be the salty California air. They weren't far from the beach now, weren't far from the waves he had once considered his freedom. He used to survive solely on the image of returning here someday, but now he thinks he might die if he ever came back, like a fish once they've acclimated to new water conditions.

So they went to the reception. Billy didn't drink, hadn't since El had cried to him that the excess beer was making her sad, so he didn't now. Steve did, slim fingers wrapped around a champagne flute that he barely sipped at, maybe there more for looks than anything else.

Billy didn't think Steve had let go of his hand once since the start of the wedding ceremony, suspected that he wouldn't until getting to the hotel.

On any other day, he might've told himself it was because Steve was capitalizing on their time in California, in the state that was okay with people like them more than anywhere else. Today, though, he knew it was because his boyfriend thought he'd crumble to pieces without the physical grounding. Billy thinks that might be true.

"William! Oh, I'm so glad you made it," a familiar voice sent ice through his back, paralyzing him faster than the Mind Flayer's sickening tendrils had. He didn't turn, knowing she was behind him. He squeezed his eyes shut and wished it was pretend, wished this was all a bad dream and he'd wake up in the shitty apartment him and Steve rented after the Harringtons kicked their own son out. But then a soft hand was on his shoulder and a breath he'd been holding since he was eight years old finally eased out because he still knew the touch of his mother's hand.

So he turned when that hand guided him to do so, hearing Steve say something about getting another drink as an excuse even when his flute was still full. He was giving him time, letting him commune with ghosts.

"Oh, you're so grown up," she cooed, face melting in what could only be described as adoration. "My baby's so handsome."

And that. He wanted to snarl, wanted to lift his tucked in shirt and show her the vine-like scars that wrapped around nearly every inch of his body. He wanted to rip into his chest and pulled out the heart that she'd marred herself, the one that Steve had carefully hand-sown back together a decade after she'd torn it.

Instead, he forced out, "It's Billy."

"Right, I remember reading that in the newspaper." This was his mother, standing there in a white dress and talking to him casually as if no time had passed, as if she hadn't left him. "I'm so happy you made it, Roger thought it was silly of me to even try inviting you but I knew my baby boy would come."

"You left," Billy answered dully, wishing he had a glass or a hand to wrap his fingers around but instead finding purchase in the fleshy part of his palm. "You left me with him."

His mother's entire expression fell. She at least had the sense to look guilty, eyes tilting down to stare at the bottom hem of her dress before looking back at him. "I don't want to talk about such sad things on a happy day, Willi—Billy."

"I didn't want to spend ten years of my life getting the joy beat outta me either," Billy snapped, unsure where the anger was coming from. He normally had a good handle on it these days, working it out through exercising or punching a pillow as Steve had so thoughtfully suggested. This though, resembled the rage from before. The all-consuming rage that threatened to destroy him, made him the perfect host for that Thing, made him nearly burn himself to the ground.

"Billy, please. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. I'm sorry I didn't take you with me."

"Steve was right, I shouldn't have come," Billy forced out, turning his head because she didn't get to see his tears, not after everything she hadn't been around to see. Instead he looked at his darling boyfriend, leaning against the bar and nervously talking to who Billy thinks is his Great Aunt Karen. He was running a hand through that perfectly styled hair, sipping at his champagne at a rate Billy could only call rapid. His shoulders were shaking in a laugh, but it wasn't the real one that made his entire head tilt back and his face brighten like a star.

"I saw you with him. You two look happy together," his mother brought him back to the conversation. He still didn't look at her, didn't know if he ever could again. "Can I meet him?"

Billy used to dream about this exact question. When he'd been in the hospital after coming back from the Upside Down, when Steve gave up his life of wealth and influence for a shitty apartment with him, when Billy felt like the Mind Flayer had carved out a piece of him he'd never get back, he used to picture his mother coming back, asking to meet Steve. They'd have dinner together, and she'd love Steve too because she could see how happy he made her son. He thought it would be the moment that would complete him, but as he stood there in front of his mother with everything playing out perfectly like a movie, he can't help but stare at Steve and think he was completed long ago, by someone who smelled of Farrah Fawcett hairspray and whose lips tasted like honey and cigarettes.

"No, you can't," Billy supplied simply, "Goodbye, Mom."

He ignored her shouts for him, striding easily over to Steve and taking that hand back in his. Steve's brown eyes searched his own but the weight he'd carried for a decade had been lifted already.

"You ready to hit the beach, Pretty Boy?"

And Steve was, God he was ready, because where wouldn't he go for Billy?

#billy hargrove #harringrove #stranger things #ficlet #billy's mom #yes im on the angst train for the night did anyone ask for it? no #but here we are anyway so please take it #stranger jays #harringrove ficlet

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ellewritesandrants · 1 year

Text

I was inspired to write some Billy and Max wingmanning for each other because of this post from @11willgrahamseyes11 because why not?

Imagine it’s post S3 where Billy survived and Max just found out that Neil had left Hawkins. She heads to the hospital to tell her brother, because that’s what he was, that his dad had just skipped town to avoid paying medical bills he wasn’t even going to be charged for.

“Neil left?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry, Billy.”

“Figures he got sick of having a queer disabled freak for a son.” Billy scoffed.

Max slapped his shoulder, confident enough to do so after months of proper communication, bonding and actually getting to be siblings and not each other’s burdens to bear.

“Hey! Don’t talk about my brother that way, asshole. And anyway, Neil would have eventually realized he had two queer kids and he’d probably have run even faster.”

Billy eyes snapped to hers.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

A peaceful moment of silence passed before Billy broke it.

“Is it that psychic chick, the one that’s dating Wheeler?”

Max immediately bristled.

“How’d you know?”

“Let’s just say I know what it feels like to pine after someone who’s in love with a Wheeler.”

Max took a good minute to think before it finally clicked.

“Steve? You like Steve?”

“Don’t be so loud, Maxie! But, yeah, I like Steve. Anything wrong with that?”

“A lot. Steve’s a dumbass, Billy.”

“Hey! I think it’s cute. Anyway, that El girl isn’t the most talkative girl in the world.”

“But I like that about her.”

“Well, I guess we’re both saps for people who’ll never like us back.”

“I don’t know. I think I might have a chance if I can convince her to break up with her boyfriend.”

“Don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“Lucas? I broke up with him months ago after he didn’t even try to give you a chance to apologize. If he wanted to get me back, he knew what he should have done and if he doesn’t want to, then good riddance.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. After all, it’s me and you against the world, right, Kill Bill?”

“It’s me and you against the world, Mad Max.”

Since Billy wanted at least one of them to get their happy ending, he gets Max to ask El if she was willing to visit Billy so they could talk about the memories she’s seen and of course, El agrees.

Billy hasn't really had any visitors outside of Max ever since he was admitted into the hospital due to him being in the PICU for the first three months and only allowing a limited number of people inside to visit him. It's been another three months since he was moved to a regular room and the doctors had just cleared Billy to receive more visitors but to keep them to 2-4 people to avoid overcrowding.

None of his so-called friends actually visited but he had somewhat expected it. Tommy had promised to visit after sending a letter checking in but he and Carol were busy at the college their dads bought them into so it left the basketball team who stopped by after practice once to tell him how badly they were doing without him and how they couldn't wait to have him on the court again.

None of Max's friends have been by either but Billy heard from Max about a big fight they'd had regarding Billy and how the boys refused to think that Billy was anything but evil, forcing Max, El and Will to branch away because Will was hurt since he'd also been possessed and therefore, just as evil and El hated how they treated Billy as a monster when he was just as much a victim as she was.

Hopper doesn't really trust Billy but after he allows it on the condition that Max stays in the room which Billy doesn't fight. They have a nice chat about the memories, most of which Max wasn't aware of but it actually helps them since Billy's willing to trust Max enough to bare his soul to her willingly.

After they have an emotional talk about bad fathers who need to be kept out of their lives as well as absent mothers who tried, Billy shifts the conversation more to school because he's been helping Max keep on top of her classes so he offered the same to El.

Max quickly corrects Billy and tells him that El was homeschooled due to her not being allowed to study because of the lab. Billy has the bright idea of tutoring El during the day since he wasn't really doing anything and he was bored out of his mind and running out of books to read that Max would borrow from the library for him.

It would not only give him something to do but also a way to see if Max actually had a chance that didn't involve Max getting hurt. He could also help El who seemed like she really did need help, just like he did.

Of course, they ran it past Hopper who initially wanted nothing to do with Billy Hargrove until Max told him the truth about Neil. Hopper was eventually worn down by El who was tired of being stuck at the cabin with no one to talk to and he agreed under the condition that he'd be there during the first few sessions.

Once Hopper was there, he took the sessions as a chance to confirm what El said and when he really, truly looked at Billy, he saw a reflection of the kid he used to be, abused and alone and he realized why El had wanted to get to know Billy and to be his friend.

It also didn't hurt that Billy was an honors student who used to tutor in California during the weekdays for extra cash and he was used to being a tutor and helping students with their studies.

Hopper worked out a deal with Billy that El would come over three times a week when she was supposed to have school and he would help her for a daily rate.

She progressed in leaps and bounds under someone who was used to working around certain hang-ups and Billy was able to help El, whom he commonly called Jane or Janie to find a way of studying that worked for her that wasn't just reading books and answering worksheets.

Her progress astounded the newly together Joyce and Hopper, leading to her asking if Billy could do the same for Will since he wasn't really talking to the other boys.

Soon, Billy's hospital room became the trio's common hang-out spot after school, with Will and Max either biking, skating or walking together so that they could get help on their homework from Billy after he and El were done with their lessons for the day.

The entire time that Billy had been tutoring the kids, he'd been observing the interactions between El and Max and it really did seem like his little sister had a chance. Of course, there was still the tiny hang-up in the form of Mike Wheeler and Lucas Sinclair who apparently still didn't get the hint that their respective relationships were over.

Since El, Max and Will were all comfortable with Billy, once they were done with their homework and lessons, they usually talked about anything under the sun to help El be more familiar with popular culture and how the world worked so one day, Billy slyly got the conversation to head towards gender expression and sexuality.

He'd learned a lot in California that he couldn't really put into practice in Hawkins but he was reasonably sure that these three kids in particular would be able to accept him and would actually benefit from what he said.

Billy had ended up coming out of the closet to the kids who swore to keep it a secret and he answered any and all questions they had. El was surprised that women could be with other women and men could be with other men or with multiple people because all Hopper and Mike had ever told her was that boys went with girls and vice versa.

This led to Will and El to question their sexualities and to realize that maybe they weren't as straight as they assumed. Will was definitely getting a case of hero worship for the older teen and it showed when he got home, enough that Joyce was able to paint a clear picture of Billy's life which she didn't like.

She came to visit him once without El to confirm her assumptions and she made sure to tell him that he was always welcome at their house after everything he's done for them. Billy had teared up and he'd gotten his first hug from a mom in months since Susan had ended up falling into a pit of alcoholism again.

Joyce had reamed Hopper afterwards for not being able to help Billy beforehand and how Hopper would have to make things up to Billy after he was discharged. Joyce would keep visiting Billy, often bringing food to share and occasionally, bringing Hopper along with her to help the bigger man to see Billy as she saw him, a lonely kid in need of parental guidance.

Almost a whole school year passed with an increase in the tension between Max and El but no action on either side of the pair. Will was El's confidant and he was slowly going crazy about how El ranted and raved about how pretty and smart Max was without doing anything about it.

Billy, on the other hand, was tired about hearing all about how cute and adorable El was from his little sister and while he had partially caused this to happen, he also didn't want to keep hearing about it.

So, Billy made plans. He was getting discharged pretty soon and his physical therapy was going pretty well, enough that he was looking to be in shape and back to peak condition in a few months and that he was being allowed behind the wheel.

Truth be told, Billy had fully recovered by the time he started tutoring the kids but the doctors and scientists still couldn't understand why he was still alive and how he had survived. The past few months were heavily focused on physical and mental therapy to help him get over the ordeal and to be able to live a normal life.

Billy would be forced to take his senior year a year late but he didn't mind since it would allow him to be able to watch the kids for their first year in high school, enough to at least protect them from the worst of it after hearing how badly Will had been bullied before.

The first thing Billy did after getting out of the hospital was to get Hopper to take him to his fully repaired car so he could get over the mental block of being behind the wheel and actually being in control.

After going around town with Joyce in the front seat, cheering him on, he went to pick up the kids on their last day of middle school so they could celebrate.

The entirety of Hawkins was shocked to find Billy Hargrove driving his signature Camaro, thinner and more lithe than before but happier than they had ever seen him, picking up his little sister and spinning her in a hug and immediately pulling Will "the Fairy" Byers into an other hug after.

The rest of the party watched in awe and shock at the scene, not knowing that Will had even talked to Billy after everything. Steve was also equally in shock but it also felt like the first time he had ever seen Billy Hargrove.

After, Billy stopped by the new Byers-Hopper house to pick up El and he invited Jonathan to come with them for dinner at the diner where Joyce and Hopper would meet them. He and Jonathan had had a few conversations since he'd come to the hospital to pick up and drop off Will, El or both of the teens and they'd come to bond over shitty fathers and the small overlap of the musicians they liked.

Weirdly enough, it was the exact same diner that Steve had brought the other boys to celebrate their last day of school since it was beside the arcade. Billy had been half tempted to leave but having Max by his side made him brave enough to brave the stares that followed him.

He hadn't let their glares get in the way of his first real meal outside of the hospital and he enjoyed dinner for the first time in a long time surrounded by people who cared about him.

After he paid using some of the government’s compensation, Max managed to convince him to show El the ropes in the arcade because he had been the one who had taught her most of the tricks that she used to get the high score.

The boys and Steve couldn't help their curiosity once Billy and the rest of the kids entered the arcade and they watched from a distance as Billy blew all of the high scores on all of the machines out of the water without even breaking a sweat.

Max saw this as the perfect time to set her brother up with his crush so she tricked Steve into agreeing into a competition on the basketball shooting game with Billy. Having them play side-by-side ignited the adrenaline rush that Steve used to feel when he was playing against Billy but this time, he was happy and excited and not angry.

By the end of 5 rounds, Billy had trounced him completely but Steve took his defeat graciously, even offering a rematch in swimming in his heated pool.

While the boys were having their friendly competition, the rest of the party, namely Dustin, Lucas and Mike were apologizing to Will, Max and El about not believing them when it came to Billy. It was obvious to see that he had changed a lot from the person he used to be and they wanted their friends back.

Max and subsequently El refused to accept their apology until Billy accepted their apology but Will quickly forgave his childhood best friends. Will had missed playing D&D with his friends and being able to talk them and not just to his family, including his new sister and her crush.

As soon as the friendly competition between Billy and Steve was over, the boys apologized to Billy who decided to be the bigger person and accept it while also apologizing for how he used to be.

Billy's made leaps and bounds of progress in therapy as to why he was the way he was and he was well on his way to become the person he wanted to be which meant forgiveness and understanding on both sides of the party.

The next weekend, Billy got permission from Joyce and Hopper to take El and Max to the mall in the next town over so he could finally get them to go on a date. Of course, Max hijacked his plans by subtly inviting Will to get the boys to watch a movie and of course, have Steve drive them.

While the boys were watching a movie, Steve was wandering aimlessly just as Billy was and in a small mall in Indiana, they were bound to cross paths. Steve couldn't help but want to get to know this new Billy so they ate a snack together at the food court and they passed a few hours getting to know each other.

The mall trip was a success on both ends because Max was finally brave enough to ask El to be her girlfriend while Steve was brave enough to set a date on the swimming rematch they planned to have.

It took a few months of summer loving before Steve finally worked the courage to kiss Billy and ask him to be his boyfriend but he eventually got there even if he had needed the intervention of the party because they were tired of his pining.

The Mayfield-Hargrove siblings were good wingmen to each other and they had a 100% success rate in stealing partners from the Wheelers.

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schrijverr · 10 months

Text

I Found Myself a Cheerleader 1

Chapter 1 out of 28

Bumped to the lowest step on the social ladder after his fight with Billy, Steve gets roped in with the cheer team. What starts as a favor to help them out when one member breaks her leg in turn for protection from the brunt of the bullying, sets the universe on a different path.

He befriends Chrissy and grows as thick as thieves with her. Over the summer he adds Robin to his friends as well. Meanwhile Eddie seems to have taken an interest in the fallen king, but Steve can’t figure out quite yet why Eddie is talking with him. Flirting with him?

On AO3.

Ships: eventual steddie & buckingham

Warnings: period typical sexism, period typical homophobia, internalized homophobia, child neglect mention, bullying, f-slur

~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1: The Deal

Steve has quit the basketball team after winter break. Before winter break he was technically still on the team, but not allowed to play due to his concussion. Now he is healed enough to get back on the court, but Billy has turned most of the team against him, which makes playing impossible. Hence the quitting.

However, now he has a slot he needs to fill if he wants to make it into college. He can’t join some braniac team, he’s barely scraping by. Going back to swimming also isn’t an option, since the swim team is practically the same as the basketball team and he doesn’t fancy drowning.

He wishes he could just continue playing basketball. That it wasn’t that bad. That he could man up and make it through. But he can’t, he really can’t. He likes his bones in one piece and the doctor said another concussion might be the end of what his brain can take.

So, he sits longingly alongside the court and watches the team train, aching to just have an activity he is good at again. To not feel like such a failure.

A loud and frustrated sigh pulls him from his thoughts and his eyes are pulled to the cheerleaders that are also practicing in the gym. The captain of the cheer team, Molly, throws up her hands and says: “It isn’t gonna work like this.”

“No need to snap,” Heather, one of the other girls, scowls. “Mary can’t help that she’s sick. She’ll be back after the weekend and then we’ll train the whole thing properly.”

“I know that,” Molly snaps. “But it’s throwing everything off and we need to get this routine straight. We can’t afford to have anyone missing.”

“We know,” Heather rolls her eyes, still posed to fight.

Molly sighs and says: “I just need this competition to go well.”

Heather softens at that and places a hand on Molly’s shoulder and smiles: “We’re gonna kill it. Don’t worry too much, Molls. Lets just run it again, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Molly smiles, before loudly clapping her hands and getting everyone back into position to go from the top.

Without realizing Steve has ambled closer to the cheerleaders. He startles a little at the loud clap, before watching at the routine starts up again. He has often watched the cheerleaders, they’re at the sides of big games and the team always stared together.

However, he has never really paid any attention to their training. Right now, though, he watches in awe as they toss each other in the air and keep smiling as they tumble about.

Since he is aware of it, he can clearly see where one of the girls is missing. When some of the girls are lifted some shapes are uneven and a few stay on the ground with an annoyed look. Certain formations are also incomplete. At one point one of the girls nearly falls, because someone who is supposed to be there isn’t.

The routine comes to an end and Steve can clearly see Molly, who is on the cusp of breaking down again. In Steve’s opinion it doesn’t look that difficult, well, what seems to be missing that is. It’s just holding someone up. Not like he has to do a back flip.

He hasn’t consciously realized what he’s doing until he’s tapping Molly on the shoulder. She startles and turns, before getting big eyes and smiling softly as she greets: “Hi, Steve.”

While Steve’s popularity has gone down considerably since Billy showed up, he is still well liked under the female student body. He smiles back at her and says: “Hi, Molly. Uhm- This is really stupid.” He rubs the back of his head, suddenly aware of how much he is not allowed to do what he is about to do. “I-” he lets out a breath and decides to go for it. “I heard you talking earlier, about missing someone. Can I help?”

It’s quiet and Steve immediately regrets even looking in their direction.

A boy doesn’t do cheerleading, it’s a girls sport. Barely even a sport. Just a thing they do to look pretty. He has no business being close to it beyond asking a cheerleader out. He has already plummeted vastly in popularity, the last thing he needs is gay rumors floating around. No matter how true they’d be.

He just wants to be helpful, do something he might be able to for a change. But he didn’t think it through and now he’s done something stupid. Like he always does.

Steve is about to take it back, play it off as a joke or just walk away if nothing comes to mind in the next second, when Molly lights up. “That’s perfect!” she grins. “Mary is a base position, which should be easy to teach. Thank you so much.”

Some of the other girls send him some weird looks, but after Molly’s relieved thanks, he doesn’t have the heart to turn away. So, he awkwardly shrugs: “It’s no problem, not like I have anything better to do.”

He is ignored by Molly, who turns around and addresses the others: “Go over parts you’re struggling with for a little. Lisa, Karen, Susan, come here!”

Three girls come their way as the others devolve into doing their own thing. Molly asks him: “Are you warmed up?”

Steve doesn’t think this will be that much effort, so he nods. It’s honestly his mistake, along with staying in his jeans and shirt.

He is shown the proper way to hold up a flyer. He hadn’t even realized before now that there were multiple positions in cheerleading. However, here he is. He is filling in for a base, so he’s holding Karen, the flyer, along with Lisa, the other base. Meanwhile Susan is the back spotter, she is the first to catch Karen should it go wrong. It’s important to catch the flyer properly or one can risk hurting the flyer quite badly.

Within a few minutes Steve gains so much respect for cheerleading, something he and the other guys have always put aside as some easy girly thing.

As he lifts Karen, he can feel her muscles under his hands as she has to keep everything tense as to not loose her balance on just their hands. Lisa is also a lot stronger than she looks, holding half of Karen’s weight along with Steve. He is already sweating through his polo and he definitely can’t keep smiling as he does this.

After a while he is able to get it. Molly is satisfied with his progress and deems it enough to call everyone together again. She says: “Okay, we can’t go through the routine, because Steve doesn’t know it and he isn’t going to learn this quick. So, we’re just going through the pyramids slowly, alright?”

She gets cheers back and instructs Lisa to make sure Steve knows what to do as everyone moves back to position.

Lisa is his saving grace, because Steve can’t keep up with how easily they all shift between position, creating structures out of just their bodies, before flipping down, tumbling around and doing it again.

He hadn’t realized how much mental space it takes to keep track of everyone’s position. He is very impressed with all the cheerleaders and he is genuinely having fun.

Cheerleading is a physical activity that he’s actually quite good at, throwing Karen around with ease and watching her fly. And for once he isn’t being pushed around.

A part of him knows that he shouldn’t be having fun, that he should have never even offered to do it and play it off as trying to get a date if someone asked. But it’s hard to keep the happiness away or not reply to the high five Lisa offers when they pull off a tricky stunt.

So, it’s not until the basketball team takes a break and he is spotted that the pit in his stomach, that he felt when he first offered, returns. He’s holding one of Karen’s legs when he hears Billy sneer: “Look at that, Harrington’s turned from a king into a princess.”

He can’t risk hurting Karen, so he grits his teeth as he hears the rest of his former team snicker. The stunt still needs to be completed, so Steve tries to tune them out as they bounce so Karen gets the height she needs for a flip.

Once she is safely on the ground, Steve looks at his old teammates, who have all collected to laugh at him. His cheeks burn with shame and he looks to the ground. He just wanted to help, do something nice for a change.

A hand on his arm, makes him look up. Lisa is looking at him with a kind and concerned look. She quietly says: “You don’t have to stick around. We get it. Mary will get better and we’ll pick up training Monday again.”

Steve is quite tempted to take her offer. To just run and be a coward, because a coward is better than being tossed for the tigers. Being a coward is better than being a queer.

However, before he can, Molly is speaking up. She overheard what Lisa said and doesn’t want to stop training. She needs Steve there. She crosses her arms and says: “All of you stop laughing right now, or you’re not getting a date from a cheerleader for the rest of the year. Steve was gentleman enough to offer help when we needed it. Maybe take an example.”

That shuts the boys right up. Steve knows what they talk about in the locker room, almost all the boys there want a date with a cheerleader. A bit of fun at Steve’s expense isn’t worth blowing that chance over.

Billy’s face goes through an amusing journey of emotions. In the end he scoffs and turns away with a: “Let the ballerinas do their thing.”

Molly’s face contorts in a hateful look, before she takes a deep breath and lets it go. Steve honestly admires her ability to do so.

She turns back to Steve and puts on big eyes as she clasps her hands together and says: “Please, Steve, stay for a little. We really appreciate your help. You’re such a gentleman, I mean that, you know. A knight in shining armor. Please, stay a little more, we’d all owe you.”

If he hadn’t grown up around his mother and seen how Molly plastered on the dainty, pleading eyes, he wouldn’t have realized this was a manipulation. She is playing into his masculinity and implying he could score a date if he stays.

Luckily for Molly, Steve is having too much fun to turn down a reason to continue, so he pretends to fall for it. He puts on his best smirk and replies: “I mean, how could I refuse a lady in need of help.”

She brightens up, this time the smile is genuine and Steve feels even better about his decision to fuck what anyone thinks. He has already been kicked to the bottom of the ladder. If he has to be here, he might as well do something fun.

He discovers that cheerleaders train almost more rigorously as the basketball team. He is there for another hour, running through the drills again and again. By the time they go home, he at least knows where to stand to not be in the way, though the arm movements escape him.

As he leaves, Lisa gives him a soft smile. She isn’t the loudest, but Steve quite likes her calm and steady presence. Throwing Karen around together has created a bit of a bond. So, he smiles back and says: “Bye, Lisa.”

“Bye, Steve,” she says. “Thank you for staying. Molly has been really stressed about practice lately.”

“Oh, it was nothing,” he tells her, looking around for a second, before he admits: “It was quite fun actually. You girls are crazy strong. I never realized.”

That makes Lisa let out a laugh and she grins: “We’re full of surprises,” before they truly say goodbye and go their separate ways.

Steve has been avoiding showering at school with the basketball team out to get him, so he gets into his car in sweaty clothes. Today he’s relieved his parents are never home. Explaining why he’s sweaty in his day clothes to his father would likely be the last thing he did.

Another thing he is relieved about, is that it is weekend. He hopes that it either doesn’t go the rounds that badly with no one stuck in one building and that by the time Monday rolls around the excitement will have died down.

He gets radioed by Dustin, asking him to drive him and the rest of the nerd squad to the arcade. He agrees easily, needing the distraction.

Because what Steve hadn’t counted on, is how the cheerleading would get stuck in his head. He had expected it to be a one time thing, something nice that would keep his mind of basketball for a bit, but instead he can’t help but think back on how much fun he’d had.

Cheerleaders have a very different team dynamic from basketball. There is more yelling of good jobs and needing to work together, instead of people trying to steal the spotlight and pushing each other around. It was quite nice.

Plus, it felt great to exercise again. And it felt much more like a team sport with Karen needing to trust him and Lisa to keep her upright and to count on Lisa to do her part, while Steve did his. He can’t deny that a part of him wants to do it again.

So, he drives up to Dustin’s house, then the others and listens to them gush about the campaign Will is running, making the shy boy blush. Then they move on how Max still has the high score, but she’s gonna meet them there and Dustin will observe her strategy, then beat her.

Steve doubts that, Max is a beast in the arcade. However, he lets Dustin live in his world as he watches them go nuts, lending the group quarters when they start to come up short.

He muses that these kids have a hobby they like. He used to have that, but basketball is kind of off limits right now. Even playing just for fun is ruined, since those games are mostly the basketball team or people who are friends with the basketball team. All of whom now hate Steve.

He still shoots some hoops alone in his backyard and swims laps in the pool (albeit with less ease after Barb), but he wants to do something with other people again.

Once more his mind drifts to cheerleading, but he quickly pushes that thought away. Cheerleading is for girls, he already got enough shit as is, he doesn’t need more. Besides, Mary will return and they won’t even need an extra person.

It’s not going to happen, so he should let it go and find something new.

“For the last time, zoomer isn’t a thing,” Mike complains loudly. Lucas jumps to Max’s defense at that, something that isn’t appreciated and the group devolves into squabbling over DnD categories again.

Steve wonders if he should pick up DnD. Dustin has explained it to him a few times, but it sounded hard and the thought of having to face Eddie Munson and his crew made Steve’s stomach churn.

He knows it’s his own fault that such a group will probably not welcome him with open arms, but it still isn’t a great feeling. Now that he is paying attention to others than the basketball team more, he can’t deny that the Hellfire club seems to like each other a lot more. Something that Steve will never get to experience, because he burned those bridges before they could even form.

Maybe he could join band. His parents forced him to learn piano when he was younger, though he doubts piano is part of band. Besides, he has seen the people at the band table. He likely won’t be welcome there either.

Honestly, at this point the only place he might not get shunned is the Hawkins High school newspaper, but that will be because of Nancy and Jonathan, which will only make it all the more mortifying. No thanks.

Contemplating his position, he lets out a deep sigh. Then yelps when a voice next to him suddenly asks: “Are you okay, Steve?”

He looks down to see Will looking up at him with concerned eyes. Steve forces a smile onto his face and assures the kid: “Yeah, baby Byers, I’m okay. You doing good? Need a quarter?”

“No, it’s fine,” Will tells him. “I was just asking, because you look sad. Mom told me to keep an eye on you. She wants to make sure you know you can talk to her about what all happened. You sure nothing’s bothering you?”

Will says it with the ease of a kid, who isn’t fully aware of when they are sharing too much, but the words hit Steve right in the chest.

After the Upside Down bullshit, he hasn’t been sleeping as well and there is no one really to lean on. He is distracting himself with school and driving the kids around. His parents aren’t home to notice anything, yet here Joyce is, showing more care than any adult ever has for Steve.

He has to swallow as to not break down and ruffles Will’s hair as he clears his throat. “That’s sweet, kid, but I’m good. I promise. Just thinking about school.”

At that Will nods with understanding and it hurts that this little kid knows more about what Steve is going through at his age. No one should have to struggle with kids being mean, but Will especially doesn’t deserve it with all he has been through.

To distract from the moment, he holds up a quarter and says: “Wanna bet I can beat Dustin’s Pac-Man high score?”

Will giggles: “He’ll be so mad if you do. It’s his only pride after Max took over everywhere.”

“Lets go boil his blood,” Steve tells Will, even though he isn’t even good at Pac-Man. However, it will make Will laugh and then he can make the kid try, paying for it, because he saw how Will ran out of coins a bit ago.

The weekend passes further until it is Monday and he is parking at the school. He isn’t looking forward to walking in there, not able to predict what he’ll find. He doesn’t like being unprepared in social situations.

As he walks down the hall, he gets a few weird looks, but no one says anything about it. Maybe Molly’s threat about the dates worked and no one is daring. Steve hopes so.

His luck doesn’t hold up, sadly. During first period a note is handed to him with a crude drawing of him in a cheering costume, the word princess written above it. The door to a classroom is opened for him with the comment: “Ladies first.”

Steve honestly finds it more childish and annoying than hurtful, except that it keeps hitting home what he already knew. That he wasn’t supposed to do that and there is something wrong with him, because he actually enjoyed himself, because he even thought of doing it.

Because cheerleading is for girls. It’s not for boys and the fact that Steve did it and enjoyed it means that somewhere in his brain there is something wrong with him. He already knows that there is something wrong with him, but having it spelled out for him?

It’s soul crushing.

By the time lunch period rolls around, he already knows that he doesn’t want to be in the cafeteria right now. It’s still too cold for anyone to sit outside, besides stepping out for a smoke. So, he sets up camp on a wall outside and eats his lunch. Rather cold than a target.

About halfway through lunch, he hears someone approaching. He steels himself for whatever is coming his way. He turns around, surprised to see it’s Molly and Heather, Lisa running after them as if she is trying to stop them.

She doesn’t make it in time, because Molly is already there. She is staring him down and Steve wonders what she has heard to make her look like that. Uncertain, he asks: “Can I help you with something?”

“Emma broke her leg,” Molly says in lieu of an answer.

“Okay?” Steve replies.

“We need someone to take her place in the competition two weeks from now,” Molly explains further and it starts to click what she is asking.

“No,” Steve denies immediately. He wants to say yes, he would love to do more if he were to listen to the little voice in his head, but he can’t. He has already seen what just one time helping out did to the tatters of his reputation, he can’t imagine what everyone will think or say if he took part in a competition.

Frustration creeps into Molly’s face and she protests: “But Lisa said you told her you had fun. You were good at it. Why not?”

“Molly, no.” Lisa is finally there. She looks apologetically at Steve and says: “I didn’t know she would do this when I mentioned it. I’m sorry, Steve.”

She looks genuinely distraught and Steve instantly feels bad for her. They had built up the most camaraderie together. She obviously felt the same and despite the fact that they needed someone, there was already enough solidarity between them after one practice that she would stick up for him against the cheer captain. That never happens in basketball.

“Let her try,” Heather cuts in, backing up the cheer captain. From what Steve had seen, Heather isn’t afraid to stop Molly if she thinks the other goes too far. Right now she apparently agrees with her friend, though.

Lisa sends him another apologetic look that he answers with a reassuring smile.

Molly gets the attention back on herself and says: “Look, I know why you’re saying no. Trust me, I get it. But this competition is the biggest of the season. It’s statewide and there will be college scouts there. You don’t understand, I need this competition to go well.”

She looks at him with intense eyes and Steve knows this so well. Right now she isn’t trying to manipulate him, she is talking to him as a fellow athlete, whose only chance to get into college is a sports scholarship.

And a part of Steve wants to think fuck it and say yes. He is already hanging on the bottom, might as well do whatever he wants. But he can’t be like the party, like those kids who don’t care and just have fun. He can’t be anything but a Harrington.

“It’s just two weeks,” Heather pleads. “The competition is in two weeks. We’ll train every day so you get it down, you do it once and then you can walk away. We won’t ask more than that.”

“I can’t,” Steve says, sounding apologetic. “You know, I can’t. I should have never offered to help Friday. I don’t even know why you would want to associate with me. You’d be better off trying to convince one of your own friends.”

Molly huffs: “All of our friends are already on the cheer squad.”

“And most girls aren’t able to get strong enough to do the lifts in two weeks,” Lisa adds quietly, joining her friends. She obviously also wants him to say yes, even if she feels bad for how his words were being used against him.

Heather agrees too: “And we can’t teach them how to stunt or catch either in that time. We already know you can fill in as a base. Emma is a base too.”

The more they beg, the harder it is for Steve to say no. He doesn’t want to say no, they all know it, but he has to. He will only be here for half a year more, then he’ll be off to college. He’d like to say in one piece until then and this will be counterproductive.

“Think of it as a deal,” Molly tells him.

“A deal?” he repeats.

“Yeah, the cheer squad is big,” Molly explains. “At least one of us is in all of your classes. We can offer you protection, a social barrier and you can pay us back by doing the competition.”

“I don’t need you to protect me,” Steve scoffs, though it is quite obvious to everyone in Hawkins High that Steve is a prime target without backup. Now that he stopped performing King Steve, it’s like everyone can see all that is wrong with him.

Clearly Molly thinks the same, because she raises her brow at him. She says: “I’m serious, Steve. I know it’s nonsense, but we’re the girls the guys want to get with and the other girls want to be. And cheer squad sticks together. When Tommy harassed Karen at a party, we all agreed he wouldn't get a date. And look at him. He’s with Carol now.”

Steve remembers the cheer squad turning against Tommy, neither of them had ever figured out why until now. Carol has always considered herself too cool for the cheer squad and Steve wonders if her dating Tommy is a rebellion against them.

“If you say yes, Billy won’t have another date with a cheerleader ever. You’ll sit at the cheer table surrounded by girls. If one of the basketball boys wants a date, they have to be nice to you,” Molly lays it out again. “Just think about it for a second.”

Molly is terrifying, Steve decides. If she ever decides to go into business, she’ll be unstoppable. It’s hard to find reasons to say no. He likes it and his father isn’t even home to be mad about it. His parents will be back next month, by that time everyone will have forgotten about this. They’ll never even have to know.

“Does the deal still stand after the competition?” Steve asks. He is also the son of a business man, he might not like it, but he knows the trade well.

“It sticks till the end of the year and if I make it into college and you have to repeat a year, it extends to next year too,” Molly promises. “Lisa will ensure it.”

“I don’t think that will happen,” Steve protests, but he feels quite relieved. He holds out his hand and smiles: “You got yourself a deal.”

“Yes,” she cheers, shaking his hand, before using the movement to pull him from the wall. “Come on,” she tells him. “No more moping outside. It’s way too cold.”

The four of them make their way inside. Steve is a big believer in seeing is believing, so he still braces himself when they enter the cafeteria. However, no one is willing to risk a cheerleader getting caught in the cross fire.

He gets many glares, but he has long since learned to keep his head up and ignore it as he follows the girls to their table. When he gets there, multiple faces erupt in smiles and Karen excitedly asks: “Did you agree?”

Steve is taken aback by how happy they all are with the news. All of them practically cheer when he nods and they pull him in their midst as they start explaining the competition to him. It’s overwhelming in a good way. Their excitement is infectious and it’s the best lunch period he’s had since before Halloween.

When lunch period is over, Heather hooks her arm around his and smiles: “We have History right now, right?”

“Yeah,” Steve agrees, a bit stunned how seriously she takes it without making a big deal out it. He should probably be embarrassed that he is being protected by a group of girls, but he can’t bring himself to care much when Heather rips up the note before it reaches him and he isn’t tripped up again in the hallways.

He has an escort for the entire day and after the last bell has rung, Susan walks with him to cheerleading practicing, because that is what he has agreed to.

This time, he knows better than to try and do this in his normal clothes, so he changes in a toilet stall, feeling a sense of solidarity with all the less sporty kids he’s seen doing that throughout the years.

They start with a warm up, which Steve takes very seriously after how sore he’d been all weekend, as he ignores the looks of the basketball team when they see him stretching with the cheerleaders in his gym clothes.

Those fucker probably thought he would be running far away from them and not dare to do anything they would dislike ever again. Steve feels a smug sense of defiance as he moves to touch his toes.

The others easily slide into splits and Steve honestly has no clue how they do it. Lisa makes eye contact with him from where she is relaxing in a split and quirks a brow at his confused expression, like she can’t understand what is weird about the situation.

“How do you do that?” Steve asks as an explanation. “How are your legs not killing you right now? That’s so fucking impressive.”

Understanding dawns on her face and she softly laughs: “Practice and patience. I’ve been doing cheer since middle school.”

“Wish I could do that,” Steve comments.

“Don’t let coach hear that or she’ll make it her mission to get you there and let me tell you, she is a hardass,” Lisa informs him.

Steve honestly hadn’t considered the fact that the cheer team would also have a coach and anxiety creeps up at the idea of having to face her. Before he can bolt, they’re interrupted by Ms. Miller, who teaches geography. “Everyone gather around,” she calls.

Reluctantly Steve follows after the girls, trying to stay out of sight of Ms. Miller. However, it’s for naught, because Ms. Miller asks: “Molly, have you found someone to replace Emma?”

“Yes, coach,” Molly says. “Steve is helping out.”

Ms. Miller frowns and Steve feels the heat gathering in his cheeks as everyone parts so she can see Steve. Awkwardly he smiles at her and waves. “Uhm, hi, Ms. Miller.”

“It’s coach Miller here,” she tells him. “I expect you to take this seriously. Are you able to do that, Steve?”

“Yes, coach,” the answer comes naturally.

Coach Miller smiles: “Good to hear. Do you have any clue what we’re doing?”

“Uhm, I subbed for Mary Friday, but other than that, no clue,” Steve answers honestly. “Except that it’s for a competition.”

Surprise flashes over coach Miller’s face at the confession, but it is quickly replaced by glee. She claps her hands together and blows her whistle: “Alright everyone, we’re going through the whole thing from the top. Slowly. Make sure Steve knows what’s happening next.”

Everyone immediately starts moving. For a second Steve stands there unsure of what to do, then Heather comes up to him and smiles: “You’re in my group. Come on.”

He easily follows her as she walks towards two other girls. She introduces them both. First she points to a Latina girl with a high ponytail. “This is Sofia, she’s the other base. Look to her for clues.”

Steve nods and shakes Sofia’s hand. He doesn’t have any classes with her, because he thinks she’s a junior. But he has seen her around in Nancy’s AP Honor courses when they were still dating.

“And this is Chrissy, our flyer,” Heather introduces a red hair shy looking girl.

“Hi,” she greets.

“Hello,” Steve replies with a smile he hopes is reassuring. He’s pretty sure the girl is a sophomore, who knows him only by reputation. He doesn’t want to scare her.

After the introductions, Steve is positioned into the starting position. They go through the entire routine at a snail’s pace to ensure Steve can follow along. Today they’re just focusing on being at the right place, tomorrow they’re primarily running through stunts and he’s told that the arm movements will come later.

Like Friday, Steve is having a blast. Sofia is super smart and hilarious. She makes all sorts of jokes under her breath that have all of them struggling not to crack up under the harsh gaze of coach Miller.

Chrissy is also nice and very caring and enthusiastic when she gets out of her shell a little. The only thing is how tiny she is. Steve feels like he’ll break her ankle if he holds her too tightly.

The atmosphere is also so much more fun. Coach Miller is strict much like the basketball coach is, but she still yells out encouragements too. And between the cheerleaders themselves, they’re constantly calling out: “Well done!” or “Oh my god, that was so good!”

If anyone in the basketball team were to do that, they would’ve gotten weird looks and called a fag or something. Steve doesn’t miss it, but he’s sad that all of them are told not to even encourage each other. The most they are allowed is a slap on the back. It doesn’t seem fair.

But he alone can’t change anything about that, so he finds himself in the limbo of smiling when he gets a compliment, but being too awkward to say anything himself as practice goes on.

At they end they all do their cooling down together. Molly takes a place close to Steve and grills him the entire time about how confident he is he can get it before the competition. Steve assures her that he will, though he adds that he doesn’t know if he can keep smiling. “I don’t even know how you all do that,” he tells her.

Molly laughs at that and answers: “Oh, Steve, you are such a guy, you know.”

“What?” he asks, a bit confused and unsure what could have gotten that response.

“Come back to me when you walked a day in heels,” she says instead of answering. “We’re used to smiling through the pain.”

Steve privately thinks that doesn’t sound very healthy, but he keeps his mouth shut, unsure he wants to have this discussion.

They disperse to the changing rooms. Steve contemplates going home sweaty again, but he’s in just his shorts now and it’s still way too cold outside for that. Plus, the basketball team is still going, so he hurries through his shower, hoping he’ll be done, before they get there.

However, they’re done quicker with their punishment laps than Steve expected. So, he’s in the middle of pulling his shirt on when they flood into the changing room.

For a second both Steve and the team freeze, staring at each other in some sort of stand off. Then play is pressed again and Steve is suddenly face to face with Billy, who spits: “What, hanging out with the freaks and little girls wasn’t enough for you, Harrington?”

Steve takes a deep breath, trying not to let it get to him. He replies: “I’m just helping out, Hargrove, you know, doing something nice? Ever heard of the word nice? Or did you skip that lesson in kindergarten?”

Billy bristles and steps forwards, pushing Steve back onto the bench. He gets right up into Steve’s face, who is hit in the face with the stench of teenage boy sweat. He wrinkles his nose, which is the wrong thing to do, because he is grabbed by the front of his shirt and Billy spits: “Those girls can’t help you here. I’m not done with you.”

“Well, I am done with you,” Steve answers coolly, reaching for his bag. He has tried fighting Billy before, that didn’t work out. Now he just hopes he can flee. Let him be a coward, it’s not like anyone here still respects him.

Anger flares up in Billy’s face again and he reels back, probably to hit Steve. However, he is still holding Steve’s shirt, but Steve never managed to put it on properly. So, before the hit lands, he slithers out of it and onto the floor, rolling away and snatching bag as he shoulders his way through the rest of the team, who are luckily too stunned to stop him as he breaks free.

In the hallway, he runs into Lisa, who looks at him in surprise. He looks downs, realizing he’s shirtless and gives her an awkward smile. “Uh, this is intentional?” he says.

“Harrington!” they hear Billy bellow from the changing room and Steve starts power walking away from the changing room, pulling Lisa with him and putting his sweaty shirt on again.

“Are you okay?” Lisa asks with concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Steve smiles at her. “Just going to change at home next time.”

“For what it’s worth, I think it really sucks that they’re treating you like that over this,” Lisa tells him genuinely.

“I get it,” Steve shrugs. “I mean, it’s not exactly conventional, you know. Everyone probably thinks it’s a little weird. Hell, I don’t even know why I offered Friday.”

“Still, you’re just doing something nice,” Lisa argues, a small frown on her forehead. She isn’t the fighting type, but she does get frustrated.

“Don’t think they care,” Steve laughs. “They already didn’t like me before this either. They just have something else to hold against me now.”

Lisa’s frown deepens, but she doesn’t say anything.

Steve honestly doesn’t feel like talking about it, so he changes the subject by asking: “You have a car, or want a ride home?”

“I mean, if you’re sure,” Lisa says.

“Of course,” Steve says. “It’s no trouble. And you can tell me more about the terms on the way. I have no clue what coach Miller is telling us 90% of the time.”

That makes Lisa laugh and they set off towards the parking lot together. Luckily, Billy doesn’t try anything with Lisa nearby. Steve tries not to question it too much. He’s tired of trying to figure out what Billy is thinking.

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stressed-chaos · 2 years

Text

Forgotten Past - "I'm warning you."

Part 3 - Billy Russo x Fem!reader

This has been sitting in my drafts for ages, finally got around to posting it! This gives more insight on Billy and Dinah's past...more revelations about which to be made soon. And a little surprise for anyone who's been reading Memories and this! (If it can be called a surprise)

Anyways, hope it's all good. Hope you guys enjoy it! As always, comments are appreciated. I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter (even it's just you cursing me in your head)

Warnings: Gun, Dinah's a little cocky, kissing(?)

The atmosphere became silent as if the pin drop silence which is usually forced by an angry teacher. In their minds, Madani had suddenly shifted to sign language. Their world froze in wondering the reason behind them, which was pretty clear to Billy. Suddenly, he didn’t seem as much annoyed by Madani anymore and was grinning from ear to ear.

“Really? A date? You didn’t tell me," inquired Dinah while raising a brow, still not moving from her place.

“Yes. A date. I had told Karen. And we didn’t tell you because we wanted some time for ourselves.” Billy grin grew even wider at her subtle attempt at telling Dinah to fuck off.

“About that…” this time he spoke up, “I’ve been meaning to ask you…ever since the first date...” he took her hands in his, deep brown eyes meeting hers, “...Be mine?” he asked with a look in his eyes that made her believe that he was asking her for real. But again, he was, she was just...oblivious to the fact.

Pretending that the butterflies inside her stomach were not turning into a zoo, her lips curled upwards, answered “Yes!” with all the voice she could muster.

Billy didn’t waste any time in pulling her into a kiss, pretending as if it was just to make prying eyes believe. Her initial shock faded quickly and she returned the kiss, the body moment familiar. She felt a jolt of happiness and warmth spread through her. He relaxed, relieved she didn’t slap him. The people around them were cheering, not knowing the reality about it all. And for a moment, Billy forgot that she is always, but for now, not really his.

In the midst of all this, they recognised a sound which faintly seemed like the clearing of a throat, which was promptly ignored. Though the second time which was around the same one they broke apart for oxygen, face lighting up with a smile. Billy was annoyed, was he not allowed to have a moment with his wife or what? His hands again moved towards the gun.

Sighing and turning around, they came face to face with a non-convinced Dinah, who was just about to open her mouth to speak, but closed it when she saw him kissing her temple, still keeping an arm around her waist.

“What was it that you wanted to tell me? Why were you at the hospital?”

Madani shrugged, “Checking on a colleague.” She made a subtle motion towards Billy, indicating she wanted to talk alone with him. He shook his head, which was returned with a glare. Why had he promised Frank he wouldn’t kill her, again?

Sighing, “Y/N, honey, can you give us a moment please?” Then leaning and adding in a whisper in her ear, “Please don’t go too far.”

She nodded,“Yeah? I won’t be far”. Billy whispered an almost silent ‘I love you’ as she left, both relieved and disappointed when she didn’t hear it.

They moved to a more secluded area, Billy’s eyes not leaving his wife.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Billy spat out.

“I could ask the same to you.”

“I asked first.” She made a ‘really’ motion.

She sighed, annoyed with his antics. “What you are thinking is true. Yes, we have been talking to her since long.”

“Karen? Frank? Curtis?” She nodded,

“Everyone.” His face twisted into anger. Billy really wanted to take his gun out.

“If I hadn’t promised her and Frank, you would be twenty feet in the ground right now.”

“Look, it was for her safety—“ she began but he broke off those words with a huff.

“Yeah, what was fucking safe in putting her in even more danger?” He moved a little closer to her in his anger.

“Somebody had to keep tabs on her, Russo. She wasn’t in the best condition after that.”

“I was there,” he argued.

“Let me rephrase that, someone who doesn’t scare the heck out of anyone she tries to meet.”

Billy shrugged, well he didn’t trust people easily.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His question was already answered as soon as he said it.

“I’m still going to have a talk with all of you conspirators. And you,” he pointed a finger at her, emphasizing his point, “stay away from her from now.”

She smirked, “That isn’t in your hands, Russo,” and walked away.

Frank must’ve told her about him. How come she doesn’t know?

He saw her approaching and decided to try a subtle approach at asking her.

She put a hand on his shoulder, “Hey, everything alright?”

He answered affirmatively. “Do you know Frank Castle?”

She hesitated, “Who doesn’t know the Punisher?”

He shook his head, “No, I meant personally. As Frank Castle, not as the Punisher.”

She copied his movements, eyes flickering over everything but his eyes. He noticed but didn’t say anything. Oh, so his wife was lying to him now?

You know she would for her friends. She would lie to anyone for them.

But— he didn’t have a counter argument. He would do the same.

She was tapping her foot, subtly checking him out. She was too caught up with her memories to notice before but damn, he looked like God spent a lot of time on his face. Stardust settled in a perfect mold to bless the Earth with this specimen. She noticed he ticked his shoulder from time to time. But her mind ultimately flooded back to the kiss, the jolt of electricity that went through her body when their lips met. She felt like she had been doing it for years. The slight alcohol she tasted on his cherry soft lips—wait who drinks this early? She wanted to compliment him, but refrained herself from calling him 'pretty'. A nagging at the back of her mind screamed he wouldn't appreciate it.

Y/N couldn’t help but wish there was something between them. She had a slight idea they were something more, he wasn’t trying to hide his gaze anyway.

Ask him, you idiot. “Billy?”

He affirmed. “How do I know you?”

He froze, looking at her like she had grown two heads. He let out a frustrated groan, thinking he had more time before the inevitable. She mistook his response, but she wasn’t going to back down. He wouldn’t have approached her if they were secret mafias who occasionally signed a drug deal.

“You can tell me. I promise I won’t judge.”

His eyebrows furrowed, “Yeah I know. There was nothing to judge anyway. But can we, uh, talk somewhere else?”

She just stared at him, unblinking. A moment later, she sighed, “Fine, where do you want to go?”

“How about a bar?”

“How much do you drink, Billy? I could taste it earlier, you know.”

And she had brought up the kiss. Not directly, but he understood, that counts as a win.

He spoke fast, trying to reassure her before she decided to run away, “I had to convince her, you see. She isn’t a person who believes things easily, being a Homeland agent tends to do that.”

“How did you know that?”

“Because sweetheart, we’ve known each other a long time.”

“That sounds a bit creepy, the way you’re saying it.”

He chuckled, “I’ll explain, but somewhere else?”

She nodded, his puppy dog eyes winning this battle. She had made a promise to follow him to the ends of this universe, so going with him to Anvil didn’t seem like a big deal.

She can hear her heart pumping, alerting something’s huge is about to happen.

Also, I wrote a little poem on Billy Russo, so if anyone is interested in poetry, and if they have time, be sure to check that out! It was my first attempt at writing for a fictional character, and I couldn't think of anyone better than Billy!

Hope the poem make sense and I hope I was able to convey what I see Russo as through it!

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the-fire-might-be-shooting-at-us · 11 months

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I'm sorry you have to deal with the billy stans. I tried once, but they wouldn't listen to a word I say.

Like when I brought up that Max was verbally abused they twisted in a way that because she yelled at Billy and drugged him she was also an abuser who was on the same level as his dad because she used the words Neil used on Billy. However, they really close their eyes at how Billy also uses those words at Max (the Say It and Understand part). They also ignore the context. She had to watch Billy almost kill a guy. What should she have done? Talk him out of it. Drugging was her saving Steve and Billy because he would have murdered him.

Him threatening Max in the car earlier in the season was after Max expressed that she liked it here and it was Billy's fault for them to move, he then had to intimidate her by driving recklessly (putting her in danger for funsies) and wanting to run over a bunch of kids so he has control over Max again. If that isn't abused, idk what is. Or when he broke her skateboard after he found out Max hung out with Lucas at the arcade. It's implied he does this quite often, idk if this is normal sibling behavior, lol. Max even confides to Lucas that Billy takes out his anger on her, but his stans ignore it. She literally cried in front of him, which is big because Max is very closed off.

Also, the way they shit on Steve at the Byers house. Like Steve only lied because Max was terrified of getting hurt by her brother. I could even imagine Lucas begging Steve to do something because he knows about the situation, and he would have picked up on the racist undertones Billy gave him. To say Steve lied for no reason and was in the wrong idk, he didn't want Max to be hurt. Billy would have done something to her. He held in his anger the entire time waiting to explode, and Max already told us she would receive it. Billy didn't care about her he only cared to get her home so he could stay out of trouble. So Steve got Billys anger full unleashed and yeah me may have thrown the first punch (after Billy threatened Lucas and pushed him violenty in a cabinet), but after he was knocked out, Billy never stopped. Some even say Steve deserved it, which is like okay?? But then ship h*rringrove at the same time.

Also, Billy isn't even redeemed in my eyes he never made amends to Lucas and Steve. Maybe he treated Max better, but he still wasn't sorry about his behavior towards Lucas. Max had every right to have complicated feelings about his death. I think that was the thing s4 got right. Her not being able to open up to Lucas or Steve because Billy hurt them, so she retreated and pushed them away. She knew her friends hated her brother because he was awful to them. So she felt like she couldn't tell them she missed him or felt guilty for gis death. At the same time, she felt relief because he couldn't harm her anymore, which also made her feel guilty because that's still her brother.

I get why he acted the way he did, but that doesn't give him a free pass to do whatever. I have a friend who relates to Billy, like she also acted it they way he did, but she never makes excuses for him. She can recognize his faults. Billy needed help, which he sadly never got, that makes him tragic, but he also hurt people along the way, and they also have every right to critique his behavior. Same with people watching the show, they should be allowed to discuss it in a way without others coming for them and harass them (especially if you tag it accordingly).

I'm sorry this is kinda long, but you can't say this on here, or you will be hunted down and ridiculed. (Also, you can totally ignore this if you don't want to have this discourse anymore)

No bc you're so right I'm just so over Billy that I can't be bothered to add more.

Perfectly worded, I find Billy an interesting character for sure, because the abuse cycle, the patterns of trauma infliction, it gives a new perspective to how abuse affects people.

The Billy stans excusing his actions just ruins this take for me, and it also just feels like a further insult on Max and Lucas's characters.

Also the Hargrove stans are by far the most unnecessarily aggressive, toxic, and illogical, and I've seen the twitter Steve vs Jonathan discourse.

#rem does stuff and panics #stranger things #steve harrington #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #anti billy hargrove

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chrisbitchtree · 2 years

Text

The One Where Steve Asks Himself "Well, How Did I Get Here?"

Harringrove Week Day 2

Prompt - Once In A Lifetime by The Talking Heads

3.3k

***

“You tell anyone about this, and I’ll kill you,” Billy told Steve, popping the tape into the player. They’d been making out in the driver’s seat of the Camaro, and Steve had asked if Billy had anything a little less loud than Metallica. At first, Billy had insisted that metal and hard rock tapes were all he had, but then he’d grumbled and pulled a cassette tape from under Steve’s seat. Remain In Light by the Talking Heads.

Steve teased him for going soft, and he threatened to throw the tape out the window. “I’m kidding,” Steve said. “I’m just surprised. It doesn’t really seem like your type of music.”

Billy shrugged, leaning back, and closing his eyes. “I dunno, I just really like the beats.”

Instead of replying, Steve leaning forward onto Billy’s chest, wrapping his arms around the other boy and closing his eyes as well.

When the first side was done, Billy flipped the tape, and they drifted off to ‘Once in a Lifetime’.

***

When Steve awoke, his head was no longer pillowed by Billy’s chest. Instead, he was drooling onto a silk pillowcase. “Ugh,” said a voice next to him. A distinctly female voice. “Again, Steve? You’re going to stain the pillowcases.”

He opened his eye to find a decidedly beautiful, if unknown blonde woman laying next to him, giving him a look that was half fond and half disgusted. The blankets were down around her waist, so Steve could see that all that she wore was a little pink silk negligee. Her nipples were hard underneath, and he averted his gaze, still unsure of who she was or whether he was allowed to look.

Instead, he glanced down at himself and found that he was only wearing black briefs. He also noticed that he had a lot more chest hair than he’d had when he’d fallen asleep. The woman reached out as if to run her hands through it, and Steve flinched, backing away from the touch.

“Is everything ok, baby?” she said with a frown, giving him a confused look.

“Uh, yeah,” Steve replied slowly. “But who are you?”

“Oh,” she said with a sly grin. “It’s a little early for games, baby, but I’ll bite. What kind of scenario is this? Amnesia patient and their caretaker?”

Panic started to rise in Steve’s chest. He had no clue what was going on, but clearly, he and this woman were in some type of relationship. “No, no,” he replied, trying to sound casual. “I was just kidding. I think I’m gonna go out and get a coffee.” He had to get away from this woman and figure some shit out.

He hopped out of bed and walked over to the large wooden dresser against the wall and started pulling open drawers, looking for clothes. Where were his sweaters? His Hawkins High sweatpants? They mustn’t exist in this alternate reality. He grabbed the first men’s clothes he came upon, a white golf shirt and black slacks, throwing them on as he walked out of the room.

“Why would you do that, baby?” she asked, her confusion growing. “We have a state-of-the-art coffee maker right downstairs!” She started following him out of the room, throwing on a black silk robe as she went.

“Uh, I just need some fresh air.” He started walking down the stairs, hoping he was heading in the direction of the front door. He took in the house as he made his way down. It was huge, and opulently decorated, much like his parent’s house. Who the fuck had picked this garbage out? As he entered the front foyer, he noticed a large portrait framed on the wall. It was a wedding photo, featuring himself and the woman posing together, grins plastered on their faces.

“If you insist on going out, wait for me!” the blonde said, catching up with him. “I’ll go with you!”

“Oh no, it’s ok, I’ll bring you something back” Steve replied, pulling a set of car keys off the key rack in the coat closet. He looked at the logo on the keys. He exited the front door before the woman could protest further, hurrying to the large, ostentatious automobile.

Finally alone, he pulled down the mirror and had a look at himself. He was visibly older, but not by a lot. Just enough to be noticeable. He was more confused than ever. What had happened? He went flying out of the driveway, and it was only as he turned to leave it that he looked back and realized he was staring at the house next to his parents. It was beautiful, but not at all his style. At least if he was still in Hawkins, he’d know his way around.

Dustin. He had to find Dustin. He would help Steve make sense of this all. He quickly drove over to his house, banging on the front door. Dustin’s mom opened it, smiling, with a layer of confusion underneath. She looked older as well, more noticeably, given her age. “Hi, Steve, how are you?” she asked, opening the door so he could enter the small house.

“I’m good, I’m good. How are you?” He barely waited for her to reply before asking where Dustin was. He was poking his head around corners, looking for the curly haired boy. He noticed that the kitten adorned calendar hanging in the kitchen said it was September 1995. So, ten years had passed.

“Dusty just headed back to school for his final year! If you’d like, I can give you his number? He’ll be so happy to hear from you! It’s been so long!” She pulled out a piece of paper from a small notebook and wrote down Dustin’s number, handing it to him.

He thanked her, taking the number, and pocketing it. He was surprised to hear that he hadn’t kept in touch with Dustin. The boy was like a brother to him. What had happened in the last ten years? He said his goodbyes and headed out, looking for a payphone. He found one, at a gas station a few blocks away, fed it some change, and quickly dialed Dustin’s number.

It rang and rang, and he almost gave up hope before he heard his best friend pick up. Or former best friend, apparently. “Dustin!” He shouted into the phone.

“Hello?” Dustin replied, sounding confused. Steve found that he was confusing everyone today, including himself.

“Dustin!” He said again. “It’s Steve!”

“Oh,” Dustin said. “I have nothing to say to you Steve. Goodbye.”

“Wait!” Steve shouted into the phone, drawing the attention of the gas station patrons around him. He tried to do his best to ignore them, heat rising on his cheeks. “Dustin, I don’t know what happened, but I need your help. Please, just give me three minutes to explain.”

Dustin sighed. “I’ll give you two.”

“Ok,” Steve said. “I don’t know what’s going on, but one minute, Billy and I were in his car, listening to the Talking Heads, and then I fell asleep, and the next thing I know, I’ve woken up and it’s been ten years, and I apparently have a wife and a home, and a big car and I have no clue how I got here. You have to help me get back, man. Please.”

Steve didn’t know if it was his pleading tone, but something had changed slightly in Dustin’s voice when he replied. “Meet me at the Starbucks at the corner of Rush and Oak in Chicago at 1pm. You’re late, and I leave.”

Steve looked at his watch. It was only 11. He could do 1pm. “I’ll be there,” Steve promised. “But wait, what’s a Starbucks?”

Dustin hung up the phone without answering.

Steve found the place, which was apparently a coffee shop, and found Dustin sitting on a plush chair in a corner. He didn’t exactly look happy to see Steve, but he didn’t sound as annoyed and upset as he had on the phone, so Steve counted that as a win.

“Hey, Dustin,” he said, trying to go for friendly and casual. Dustin just looked at him, fiddling with his hat.

“I’ll take a Venti dark roast, black. Then we’ll talk.”

Steve was eager to get to the talking part, so he joined the line of customers eager to get their caffeine fix. When he got to the front of the line, he repeated the words Dustin had said to him. “A Venti dark roast, black?” It came out like a question, but the employee just nodded. “Name?” Steve gave it, and with Dustin’s drink finally in hand, he made his way back over to him.

“So, start from the beginning,” Dustin said, taking the drink from Steve.

“Well, like I said, what I remember from right before is Billy and I were in his car, and we were…” He lowered his voice. “…making out. I had asked him to put on some softer music, so he pulled out a Talking Heads tape and put it on. I fell asleep on his chest, and next thing I know, I wake up in a strange house with this woman I don’t know next to me, and there’s a ten-year gap with no memories! I want my life back! I want Billy back!” He knew he sounded near hysterical, but he had to get his life back. “Where is Billy anyway, if not with me?”

“California. San Diego,” Dustin answered, taking a sip of his drink. “He owns some auto repair shops. He’s doing pretty good for himself, from what Max says.”

“I need to see him,” Steve answers, standing. Suddenly, he feels like he can’t wait another second to see Billy. “Will you come with me?”

Dustin looked him like he was nuts. “Steve,” he sighed. “Even if what you’re saying is true, and not some kind of weird quarter-life crisis, you can’t just go marching back into our lives. You’ve hurt a lot of people over the years, Billy especially. How would you feel if the boy who broke up with you suddenly, over the phone, so he could be free to date Stephanie, suddenly walked back into your life and tried to tell you that he doesn’t remember having done that?”

He says the name Stephanie in a mocking tone, leading Steve to believe Dustin isn’t a fan. Steve wonders if Stephanie is his wife. Stephanie and Steve Harrington. He decides he likes the sound of Steve and Billy Harrington-Hargrove a lot better.

Steve can’t believe he did that, that he’d acted like such a monster. “Wait,” he said. “You said I hurt a lot of people. What did I do to the rest of you?” He feels sick, but he needs to know.

“Well you told the party members that you were too grown up to keep hanging out with us, and you just stopped taking Robin, Nancy, and Jonathan’s calls altogether. You haven’t spoken to any of us in almost ten years.”

Ten years. Almost as long as Steve’s memories are gone for. When he fell asleep, it must have changed something. He suddenly remembers a conversation that he and Billy had had that day. Steve’s father had been pressuring him to go to school and join the family business, which judging by the disgusting pile of excess that was his life, was the path he’d chosen. Billy had asked him to move to California with him. They didn’t have a plan, but Billy had promised to make him happy there. Steve had said he’d have to think about it, and Billy had been hurt when Steve hadn’t readily agreed.

“I’m so sorry, Dustin, I promise never to hurt you again. Any of you. I love you all. Please just help me get Billy back.” He was ready to get on his knees and beg when Dustin stood up.

“Let’s go,” he said, throwing his paper cup in the garbage. “We’re going to San Diego. But you’re buying my plane tickets and you’re taking me to the San Diego Zoo.”

“Aren’t you a little old for that?” Steve asked, following him out the door of the shop.

Dustin glared at him. “Dou want help or not?”

They drove to Dustin’s, so that he could grab some clothes and throw them into a suitcase, and then Steve asked him where the nearest mall was. He needed to buy some clothes.

“Don’t you have enough clothing in that giant house?” he asked.

“It’s all so terrible,” Steve groused, plucking at the golf shirt he had on. “I can’t wear this shit.”

They headed to the mall, Dustin guiding Steve from store to store, charging all sorts of plaid flannel and torn jeans and t-shirts with jokey sayings to Steve’s credit card. Steve changed into one of the outfits in the food court bathroom, then they went to the luggage store. When they got back to the store, Steve threw all his purchases into his newly purchased suitcase, and they headed to the airport.

Steve charged two first class tickets to his credit card, and once they boarded the plane, Dustin started to ask questions. “So, tell me any details about that day that you can remember. Anything at all that might help me figure out what happened.”

Steve told him about his and Billy’s argument about their future, and about the song that was playing when they fell asleep.

Dustin looked at him, his eyes wide. “Steve, do you realize what that song’s about? It’s your life! Your sad, pathetic, materialistic life!”

Steve gave him an offended look, but maybe Dustin wasn’t wrong. That could be it. The song could be the key.

As soon as they’d landed and rented a car, they purchased a map and looked up a music shop in the phone book. They bought the last copy of Remain in Light, and Steve fast forwarded it to Once in a Lifetime, waiting for something, anything to happen. Nothing did. So maybe it wasn’t the song.

The next stop they made was Billy’s, as they’d looked up his address when they’d looked up the music shop. The map brought them to a small, ranch style home on a tree shaded street. It looked peaceful, exactly the kind of place that Steve could picture himself and Billy living.

He jumped out of the car the second he parked it, and ran up to the front door, banging on it and repeatedly ringing the doorbell. “What the fuck is going on out there?” Steve heard from the other sie of the door. Steve barely got a glimpse of Billy, looking much the same, broad, and muscled, with shiny blond curls and a deep golden tan, before he was slamming the door in Steve’s face. “Nope, nope, nope,” he said. “Not fucking happening, Harrington.”

Steve didn’t know why he’d expected Billy to act any differently, but it still hurt. “Please, Billy! I know I’ve hurt you, but I need to talk to you. I’ll explain myself. I swear! Pleas just give me five minutes.” He waited, hoping Billy would open the door, but he didn’t, and eventually, as it started to get dark out, Steve had to give up and go.

He and Dustin checked into a hotel, then went in search of dinner. They wracked their brains the whole time they ate, trying to think of how to get Steve back to the proper timeline.

“You know,” Dustin said, finishing off a second piece of pie, “Maybe it’s not just that tape, maybe it’s Billy’s copy specifically.”

Steve smiled around his milkshake straw. “Dustin, you’re a genius. I bet that’s it. But Billy won’t talk to me.”

Dustin grinned. “How much experience do you have with breaking and entering, my friend?”

***

The next morning, they waited in Billy’s bushes, the car parked a couple blocks away, until Billy left for work. They checked under rocks and planters, hoping for a spare key, but no such luck. Finally, they managed to find a window that was opened a crack and slid it open. It was a tight fit, as it was a small bathroom window, but Steve finally managed to get through it. He ran out of the back door and let Dustin in.

They each took a side of the house, looking through drawers and boxes and cabinets, looking for tapes. They found a large collection of them under Billy’s bed, but that particular tape wasn’t there. They took a break for lunch before they resumed their search. At about 2pm, they heard the front door opening. They were in Billy’s bedroom, and they made a break for the window, but couldn’t get it open, no matter how hard they tried.

They were at the end of the hall, and they could hear Billy approaching. There was nowhere to go. Steve’s heart was beating a hundred miles an hour as he just waited for Billy to discover them.

What the fuck, Harrington!” He said, furiously, as he walked into his room. “What are you doing here? You had a million chances to apologize and now that I’ve moved on and I’m happy, here you are. You have five minutes to tell me what you need.”

Oh, thank God. Steve let out a breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding. “Can we go sit in the living room?”

Billy shook his head. “Nope. Here’s good. Time’s ticking away.” He crossed his arms, waiting for Steve to talk.

Steve told Billy the same story that he’d told Dustin the day before, making sure to emphasize how upset he was when he realized he wasn’t with Billy anymore. “So basically, we need your Talking Heads tape,” he said, waiting for Billy to digest all that he’d said.

“You’re fucking cracked, Harrington,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m supposed to believe this crap?”

“Please,” Steve said, getting down on his knees and begging. “Please, Billy. Just trust me. I need to make my way back to you. Please.”

Billy sighed, walking over to the closet. He shoved some larger boxes aside and pulled down a small shoe box labeled Steve. From it, he pulled out the tape. “I used to play this all the time. It reminded me of the last time I held you.” His voice cracked as he said it, and Steve’s heart cracked in return.

He handed Steve the tape. “Just take it and go, and please don’t come back here.” Steve accepted it gratefully. “I’m so sorry, Billy,” he said. “I promise that I never meant to hurt you. I’ll make this right.”

He and Dustin ran out the door to the rental car, popping the tape in the player. David Byrne’s voice filled the car, Steve closed his eyes, but again, nothing happened. Tears of frustration started to fall from his eyes. He had to get back to his old life, he just had to.

Suddenly, a light bulb went off in his head and he hit rewind on the tape, then again closed his eyes, praying for a miracle. A moment later, he was blinking awake, his head pillowed on a warm chest, strong arms encircling him.

He looked up and there was Billy, the same as Steve had left him, ten years before. Steve pulled his t-shirt up, checking out his chest hair, much to Billy’s confusion. “You alright there, baby?” he asked, laughing softly at Steve’s ridiculous behaviour.

“Yes, I’m more than alright, Billy! I’m amazing!” He peppered his boyfriends face with kisses and hugging him tightly. “I have you and we have our whole future together. I changed my mind. I want to go to California with you. I love you.” It was the first time he’d said those words to Billy, but he didn’t care. It was true.

“I love you too, Steve,” Billy replied, hugging him back. Maybe Steve’s future wouldn’t hold a large automobile or a beautiful house, and it certainly wouldn’t hold a beautiful wife. Steve found himself more than ok with that.

#harringroveweek #harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #billy x steve #my fic #chrisbitchtree writes #harringrove fic

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crepuscularqueens · 1 year

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whadduppp!!!! would you mind terribly if i asked for four wips as well?? i HAVE TO ask about 'the future's in our hands and we will never be the same again' & '(how to acheive immortality (the terrible price))' !!!! and, god.. they're all soo.. your title game is sicko mode... 'when i walk into a room i do not light it up' & 'untitled bb au', too?

omg heyyy!!! i absolutely do not mind at all hehe thank you so much (and thank you SO much for the tag, these are always so fun :))

the future's in our hands and we will never be the same again was actually the second in a series neither of which have seen the light of day, but the premise of the first part is the usual post tws stuff. steve and sam are looking for bucky, natasha is also helping a lot of the time bc she's integral to the dynamic. they find bucky, bring him to a safe house, try to figure out what his whole deal is at the moment. this one starts out right before they leave for the safe house, and once they get there the four of them learn in their own ways what it is they need to be a person again, and the answer to that is CLEARLY have a shrek marathon.

Natasha got up and went to a closet, which upon opening revealed a shelf full of tapes. “Any thoughts or is it dealer’s choice?” she asked. “I don’t feel like thinking,” Sam answered. Steve shrugged as she looked at him, “No preference.” “Okay,” Nat yanked a tape out and held it aloft, “Then you can’t complain.” The cover had four characters sitting in front of a giant green ‘S’. Steve really couldn’t complain because he had no idea what it was. Sam could, though.

“Ugh,” he groaned, wrinkling his nose in mock-disgust, “Shrek? Yeah, this is definitely why you weren’t invited to sleepovers.” “Correct,” she said, clearly trying to keep her laughter at bay as she slid the tape into the machine to start the movie, “That is literally the only reason.”

"Well I'm not mad at that view," she said appreciatively. "Shit," Sam repeated, angling the phone away from Bucky as he stood, who was laughing and doing absolutely nothing to cover himself, "Video call, Romanoff?" "I have no regrets," she replied warmly, "Hey, Rogers, you owe me twenty dollars." "Jesus, really?" they heard Steve's muffled voice call as Sam sat back on the bed next to Bucky, who pulled a rumpled sheet over their laps to give a modicum of decency as he finally propped himself up into a seated position.

lol and also lmao this part of the series was 36k and i just. abandoned it. maybe someday i will fix it

harrow the ninth/treasure island (how to acheive immortality (the terrible price)) is actually the full title of it SO lol. this one is evil and it actively eats my brain every time i open the document. but i love it.

Silver (Harrow) removes Flint (Gideon) from his memory, awakens to find Max at his bedside, expression unreadable (disappointed? Annoyed? Smug?)

Billy (Ianthe) is soon to find him (either at the tavern already or arrives soon after. Maybe he was the one to suggest this step) wants to find the cache. Silver does not want to but after Billy takes off with the clear intent to go through with his plan (obviously not remembering their falling out because he does not remember Flint. In not remembering Flint, he also does not remember large portions of his relationship with Madi. Madi has long since parted ways with Silver, unable to stomach the lies that have festered their relationship)

Silver remembers Vane (Ortus) as the captain who he started the revolution, Charles’ death acting as what killed it in its cradle

Miranda’s (Abigail) “ghost” coming to Silver in his remembrance of the Black Sails timeline, constantly questioning the way he tells things, challenging him without explicitly stating it

In this version of events, Gates and Miranda are allowed to grow close and confer with one another, consulting on the progress of things

it's a very loose adaptation of htn, so it's more of a springboard then a real au

“How could I?” asked Billy, sour note infecting his voice, “You taught me that lesson quite thoroughly. But I want you to remember who it was that created you, Long John, who it was that made your shadow one to be so feared. I want you to remember how quickly it really is that a man can gain and lose favor, especially when there’s money involved.” “And yet, that never seemed to apply to me, did it?” you hissed, “No, Billy. I have never lost their favor before and you are not nearly as clever as you seem to think to frighten me into believing that I am close to it now. I don’t intend to be so stupid as to think myself teetering on that edge at the current moment.” Billy laughed wryly, gripping your shoulder in one hand and looking down into your eyes, expression unnervingly even, “God, this whole ordeal has made you mad, hasn’t it? I know what it is you’ve lost, Silver, I know what it is you removed from yourself to ease the pain. I know how to bring it back. Ask me to and we can be done with this whole ridiculous mess. You did what you needed to do, you never needed to feel guilty for it. “Besides, what man in our line of work doesn’t have a few bodies he’s buried? How is he any different from the rest?” “Fuck you, Billy,” you said, voice full of heat and venom as you jerked out of his grip, “I will not hear this again. I do not want what you’re offering.”

when i walk into a room i do not light it up is a magicians penntin fic because i am a clown and i'll never be over them. sorry. my usual disclaimer of don't watch the magicians it sucks. anyway this is an attempt to hook up at a party that goes TERRIBLY wrong at first but works out for them in the end

Without being completely conscious of the movement, his hand came up for a third time to rake nervously through his hair, never making it before Penny's hand closed around his wrist. His grip was solid and warm, but not too tight, like he was giving Q every opportunity to break away if he wanted to. All the sudden, the guy was in Quentin's space, apparently very interested in the hand he now had a hold of. "I'd accuse you of trying to claw your hair out of your scalp, but I think you bite your nails too short for that." Quentin's thoughts dissolved with a bit of a fizzle, or something like TV snow, or radio static, or pop rocks. One of those for sure. He only seemed capable of stammering incomprehensibly. “I can practically hear the little gears in your head shifting into a dangerous speed,” Penny remarked with a smirk, “Jesus, Coldwater, you have no chill.” Penny’s other hand came up to gently caress the side of Quentin’s face, leaning in until they were only a hair’s breadth apart. Quentin’s brain finally caught up with what was happening and he jerked away suddenly, snapping his head back so quickly he cracked it against the sharp corner of the cabinet in a moment of confused panic. “Shit,” Penny hissed, stepping back but still half reaching out towards Quentin, "Shit, I’m sorry, I didn't read that right, are you okay?"

untitled bb au is a modern day ofmd blackbonnet fic hehehe. i never fleshed it out enough in writing, but i think the premise was stede and ed broke up and stede was being WEIRD about it (and they'd eventually get back together once stede calmed down lmfao).

"Jim said you're being weird," a familiar voice said from behind him. Stede looked over his shoulder to see Oluwande behind the bar, giving him A Look. Stede didn't want to know what exactly the meaning of it was, but it was certainly meant to convey something. "I haven't seen Jim in ages," Stede tried for plausible deniability while not quite lying. It was true, it had to have been a couple of months since he had seen Jim. "Yeah, I know. Kinda makes it weirder that you call up their work every week on the busiest night then hang up before they can help you." Right, of course Olu would know, being that Jim was his partner and they were probably getting sick of all this. Stede felt his cheeks heat up a little, but stubbornly kept up his pretense. "Could be another man who sounds like me?" "You're aware that this is the twenty first century and pretty much everywhere's got caller ID, right?" Olu almost looked torn between amused and unimpressed now, "Maybe it could be someone that sounds just like you, but unlikely his name is also Stede Bonnet. Not a common one, mate."

#apatheticjoy #ask #SORRY I RAMBLED ON FOREVER any way. teehee thank you for asking this was so much fun!!!#if i hadn't been such a coward who was unable to get through writing it i would have given you the billy-as-ianthe brain surgery scene #characters behaving disgustingly is so cool and fun #also can you believe. there are 89 pages in that shrek doc and this is the most that i've done with it. what did i write all that for.#whew.#mine

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msookyspooky · 1 year

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"I already lost Sidney, I can't lose you!" Like he said in Sequels Suck.

since people seemed to love my two other angsty blurbs, here is another one ft. Dad!Randy 😌

Gale, with her hands up says, "can I just say one last thing?"

Jill scuffs. "Like what? Please?"

She shakes her head, smirking once she realizes that you were charging up the shock pads. "Clear."

"Clear?"

"Clear!" You put the shock pads right to her head and she drops like a sack a bricks. "You forgot the one thing about remakes, Jill. Don't fuck with the original."

You put the shock pads onto the table and help Gale and Judy up. Just then, Dewey and Randy come running in, a look of terror and shock across there faces.

"We thought you needed..." Randy trails off.

"Help? We got it. Thanks." You smile at him.

A week later, you and Gale were allowed to leave the hospital. She and Dewey left, going to pack up and going to move to New york. And you were packing to leave also. Before you left, you wanted to say good-bye to Randy and his daughter, Clara.

Randy walks in with you and Clara says, "did you bring auntie y/n?!"

"Why don't you hug her and find out?!"

She yells out of excitement and runs to give you a hug. You laugh as you pick her up and spin her around before putting her back down.

Once Clara was settled down and playing with her toys, you and Randy sit on the couch.

"You're really leaving?"

You nod sadly. "Yeah. This feels like the last time, you know."

"Oh, you just jinxed it!" He laughs.

You roll your eyes. "Still immature I see. But seriously, this feels like the last time we'll have to deal with this. I think it's finally over."

"So why don't you move back to Woodsboro then?"

You immediately shake your head. "I'll pass. Too many memories."

"Clara would miss her aunt. And I know I would miss you. Dewey and even Gale would miss you!

You scuff. "Clara and Dewey? Yes. Gale? Maybe. But you? We both know that's a lie."

"I would!"

You let out a laugh. "Sure. You got a life here. A good job, a kid, an amazing home, you aren't going to miss me."

You ignore the tighting in your throat. You knew Randy though it's true but you also knew deep down it wasn't. The only thing connecting you with Gale, Dewey, and Ray was the trauma and now that it was over, you would go your separate ways and never talk to each other again. I mean 10 years had passed since Roman and after that you became a hermit again and hardly ever talked to Dewey and Ray. Coming back to Woodsboro was the first time you saw Dewey and Randy in person and Gale not on t.v.

You felt as though if you could go back in time you would. Killing Billy and Stu on the spot or turning them in, save Derek, Mark and Sid's dad, maybe give dating another try. But it was now over and you were going back to being a hermit.

Even though being a hermit wasn't exactly healthy, Billy and Stu were still out there and there was always a possibility of another idiot putting on the ghostface mask and trying to get famous.

You, by all accounts, were a damaged woman and you couldn't shake off the feeling that you didn't deserve any happiness. You tried to save Billy and Stu, causing Sid to get killed and Randy to hate you, you didn't turn them in when you learned they were still alive, you lost track of how many people got killed because of idiots trying to copy Billy and Stu and how many lies you had to tell. Not to mention the people you indirectly hurt.

It got tiring after so many years of going threw this and you figured it was better to just not have hope at a normal live because you knew it wouldn't be possible.

#STOP #THIS IS SO SO GOOD #I JUST CAN'T ITS SO INCANON WITH YN BUT SO SAD HER ACCEPTING SEEING EVERYONE MOVE ON BUT HER #YOU CAPTURED THIS SO WELL THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

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charlesdesvoeux · 2 months

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terror rewatch time!!! i'll be using this post to comment on ep. 9 "the c the c the open c" block the tag terrorwatch2 if you'd like :-)

sophia almost dissociating at certain points and lady jane having tears in her eyes by the end of the scene...

also interesting to highlight that, you know, this is a woman doing something very public and refusing to stay within the confines of the private sphere even if this work/advocacy is in benefit of her husband making it perhaps less "improper" for her to step into the public sphere. and of course she's doing it bc the admiralty won't.

tom hartnell 🥰🥰🥰

and one of the saddest things is that crozier did eventually become the captain he needed to be. but it was just too fucking late.

"more than god loves them" indeed! i mean. it didn't change anything. it didn't save anyone. but the love was there.

someone already said that but yeah it's interesting how hickey wearing irving's coat makes hodge speak to him as an equal in a way he probably wouldn't before. all this rank shit is just performance, it's just wearing the right clothes.

the denial. "this shot will murder me yet" "if it doesn't it'll make that story you like even longer to tell" and it's like. so delusional. jfj at this point is a living dead man. but crozier can't face that yet. "there's time, there's time". but james knows.

interesting highlight of the class divide- hodge, an upper class British man, thinks of the probably very nice wedding he attended which served a ham from Virginia. Hickey thinks about what could be in the tins, behind the polite and vague "veal cutlet tomata"- pieces of horse? a street dog? things he maybe even saw people eating in the squalor of victorian cities

hickey voice-over priming them for cannibalism over a shot of billy going to goodsir.....

the second to last hickeygibson scene, oh my god. the way there's genuine tenderness, the way hickey truly tries to comfort him, and I do think I saw his eyes watering. re: "can he still haul?" I'm reminded of the rat wedding scene. the way there's both genuine love but also a transactional element. but the existence of one doesn't negate the existence of the other. so yeah of course there are practical considerations in his decision to kill him. but there's also the idea that this is a mercy.

also the way hickey allows himself to be very tender with billy and not giving a fuck that goodsir is there and could infer that they are lovers- bc. "civilization" is not a thing here. the bullshit victorian idea of propriety is not a thing here. they're on death's door, who gives a fuck if they're buggerers? (is it buggerer ou bugger. i don't remember)

I love how ANGRY hickey looks at goodsir once he's performing the killing of billy. like. "this is our moment. this is the last moment I'll share with the man I love. you are a intruder. and you think I'm a monster. but I'm not. I'm doing this out of love" and I absolutely get why goodsir had to be present but sometimes I also wish he wasn't??? so we could get maybe a more genuine depiction of their relationship??? like. cornelius holding him tenderly as life flows out of him. whispering sweet nothings in an attempt at comfort. maybe even fucking saying "billy, I love you", and these being the last words he ever hears.

the "orphans that we are" scene.... it's like. the survival instinct kicks in to the point that yes, you will want to abandon your friends because you want to LIVE. but this also means forsaking something of your humanity and crozier just. just can't allow that. but the survival instinct leading to such extremes is also a very human thing, too. and God how HEARTBROKEN little looks in this scene. matthew mcnulty the actor that you are.

there are very few scenes that we get from an inuit perspective in the series so the ones we do get are very very important in terms of illuminating the themes of the show. and of course nive nielsen is just outstanding

bridgens' heartbreak in the jfj death scene..... both bc he's genuinely fond of him and bc he knows that this will probably happen to henry too.

francis just raising his head in desperation and weeping once blanky proposes his plan. "i will not say goodbye to 2 friends in one day". "we both know what's coming for me now. at least love me enough to admit it". the idea that their deaths have to be faced, when just earlier he was desperately running away from the reality of james' state...

death is imminent and they hug, they hug like the old friends that they are, they touch one another openly and lovingly. they allow themselves to be human.

"john, can we sleep?" and I started crying. and the way he carries him so tenderly to the boat- yeah, everyone's watching, so what? who the fuck cares. we're dying buddy. and how after henry is in the boat jopson looks away, always attuned to what other people need, always discreet.

not that hickey wasn't crazy before but. i think billy's death is what tips him from "dangerous narcissist" into "full on god delusions"

"if I'm reading right your accent, Mr. Hickey, you grew up in a home where you would have to use every part of any meat or fowl your mam could procure" now I think this really pierces into him because- that was E.C. in his mind cornelius hickey never had to do that, but E.C. did. and he cannot be reminded of what he used to be- what he still is, really- but he carries it with him, how could he not? even on the other end of the world- someone knows E.C.

"don't indulge your morals over your practicals" if that isn't hickey's motto.

and sol at this point just. a broken fucking shell of a man. reduced to hickey's dog.

the way he wore the ring to the end. to the very end.

the way each of them look as they're eating billy!!!! sol very obviously disturbed, troubled, but also hungry. des voeux cold, calm and pragmatic. hickey with a strange sort of curiosity on his face, chewing slowly, almost savoring the last time he'll have his lover's flesh within his mouth.

hickey sits at the head of the table. hodge sits away, china in hand, trying to pretend this is normal and in a very clear way trying to maintain rank.

i think there's an interesting contrast to be found here with des voeux. he wasn't a lieutenant yet, but he was in the "officer track" so to speak- hierarchically high above a caulkers mate like hickey or a marine like tozer; irl des voeux was promoted to lieutenant in absentia while they were lost. but he absolutely realizes that right here right now rank does not fucking matter, and so he makes no attempt to still perform within the confines of what an officer is supposed to be.

hodge's monologue, I mean. here's how christos lawton can still win an emmy

THE SOL AND HICKEY SCENE

the way hickey offers him a smoke and he declines and hickey is like uh that's odd. the way he calls him "cornelius"- were he and billy the only ones to call him cornelius??? and his plan... it's like. to him it's still about survival and hickey. well. to him it's about becoming a literal fucking god.

the way he uses sol's name...... and "that's a queer melody for a marine" manipulating his devotion to what it means to be a marine for his own ends... when sol confesses what he saw and then tries to steel himself and go back to strategy...... THE TOUCH HOW DESPERATE SOL LOOKS TO BE TOUCHED

"do we need permission from him?" "no" except like. i think sol is in so deep that he does feel like he needs permission. "we'll do what we have to do, tommy, but we'll do it tomorrow" and the look of devastation on Tommy's face. "this is not sol tozer. not the sol tozer i knew, admired, and loved. and yet- i still know him, admire him, and love him".

hartnell :-((( bridgens :-(((

#terrorwatch2

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echoing-oursong · 1 year

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Hey!! How are you doing?? I have so many things to say but I did not have time this past week because I was in a musical!! (I wasn't technically in it, I was backstage crew but rehearsals still exist and they take up so much time. Sorry for the blabbing but it's the first musical I've helped with since the pandemic!)

Anyways, Stranger Things stuff! You know the Barbie meme thing that's going around? Well, I always laugh when I see Nancy's because it's always some variation of "This barbie is a journalist and is good with a gun" and it's just like Nancy's guns have no narrative meaning. (I was telling my friend (She's never watched the show) about this and she's like there's no fault in having a pretty lady shooting things and yeah, she's right, but they do nothing narratively??? Erase Nancy's guns and not much in the story has to change! Like that's just fanservice and yes, that's good but also you can have it have narrative meaning!)Sorry, I feel like I'm always complaining about it.

Like here's my issue with Nancy being Vecna'ed. Nancy should be narratively be important to El, she's her boyfriend's older sister. Even if they aren't close, Nancy is important to Mike and with an extension El. Like they aren't and shouldn't be as close as El and Max, but they should be at least important to each other by that. The reason why I brought that up is because why didn't Vecna kill Nancy? Like if he wanted revenge on El, then Nancy is a fairly good contender. I know he wanted El to be in Hawkins and he wanted her to know that, but he had no idea when El would come back or if she would. Like it's the villain monologuing all their evil plans to the hero trope but literally Vecna could have killed Nancy and succeeded with his plan right there and then. Like and it's really obvious here because why did Vecna need to monologue to Nancy. Why not just have a flashback for the audience. Why is he telling the people going up against him his plan? (I know it's to guilt El as a punishment but like is that really necessary for Nancy to know? Like all he needs to say to Nancy, when it happens, when Max dies, it will be El's fault. Like no villain monologuing necessary!) And again, it tells us nothing new about Nancy. She feels guilty about Barb! We know that! She's upset that she saw her mom and sister dead! Most people would be! (Point here - She doesn't mention Mike. Also point here - Ted looks like a very absent father but in season 3 when Karen makes the decision to not cheat on Ted, Holly is sleeping on top of him, which implies that Holly wants to spend time with Ted and he let her. Like that says something. I think. The only meaningful scene that Karen has with her children, is with Nancy is season 3. Prior to that she's also kinda an absent mom. Also while we're here, I hate how they got the cheating route with Karen, not just because she's hitting on a guy that's young enough to be her son, but also she doesn't talk to Ted. At least we don't see it. This would have been a great time to show how to solve issues in marriages. Like maybe Ted can't be as present because of his job, and maybe the solution is for Karen to enter the working force and allowing Ted to have a less time intensive job. Like even a scene of them talking about how Karen feels unhappy in the marriage and they work to fix that. OR EVEN SHOW KAREN REQUESTING DIVORCE PAPERS. Like they had so much potential with the Wheeler's marriage and they just went with cheating and they never address it afterwards. It has no impact. And like with Billy, they could literally show him getting ready to pick up Heather. Like there was no reason for it to be Karen. Also I really hate Billy, like he scared me in season 2, but that has to be an awful way to go and die. I have too much compassion. Also if they wanted to redeem Billy, they had to show him being apologetic to the people he hurt, not with El.)

Also the one scene, I will give Nancy credit for is the hospital fight scene with her old bosses. It was cool and Nancy actually did things that affected the narrative! But it seems almost unrealistic, if that makes sense. If it was some random people, it would be awesome. But the fight is almost tinged with retaliation, if that makes sense. Because it's her ex-bosses that treated her badly, it's ok for her to act this violent towards them. (Note here: Yes, they were possessed and were going to kill her and Jonathan, but why them. Why not the rest of the Holloway family. They specifically chose for Nancy to go up against her ex-bosses.) Again this comes back to the whole, this is not real life, this is planned. They wanted Nancy to fight and win against her ex bosses. And like I have a whole ask filled with issues about the Nancy Karen talk, but one thing that Karen does is she encourages Nancy to prove her bosses wrong, that she can be a great reporter and get published and I feel like this just takes away from that? I don't know. Like this is the one fight scene with Nancy, (excluding season 1) that doesn't have me dying inside, but it feels weird. If that makes sense.

Hi I'm doing good - although a little bit stressed with school lol. AHHHHHH I'm so glad that the musical went well and I hope you had a ton of fun doing it. And omg that i amazing!!! ahh i'm so glad that you were able to do the musical.

Omg i always see that barbie meme going around in the ST fandom and yeah it always makes me laugh what people choose for Nancy. Because like the guns never work and she isn't a journalist (i'm so confused why the duffers gave her wanting to be a journalist honestly because she never does her actual job of writing shit down - it's just investagting not actually writing down shit) you're right liek there's nothing wrong with a pretty lady shooting things but why do they do nothing?! It's been 4 seasons of this so like I just don't get it. like you said get rid of nancy shooting the guns and it doesn't affect the story because IT DOES NOTHING! and don't feel sorry because it always gets on my nerves too about how they do nothing like please just give her something else at this point.

YES about how nancy should be important to El to get this message - it's so bizarre how it's nancy to even get vecna'd in the first place to then have him monologue his entire plan - HE ALSO REVEALS WHO HE IS TO THEM! which is stupid for the villain to hand give who he is to the "heroes" because WOULDNT HE WANT TO HAVE THE UPPER HAND! like ngl i was eating up this scene when watching it because the music with the suspense and the acting is so well done here that you kind of overlook in hindisght how stupid this desicion was. Especially because henry doesn't seem to narratively fall into this villian trope of giving too much info to them but somehow he does with Nancy? ngl i think the duffers just wanted that shot of Nancy seeing barb instead of actually thinking through what this moment actually means and how it doesn't make sense. (unless there's something more next season where they do expand on why nancy is chosen by vecna to show all of this too) because why did he even want to show them in the first place?! is he fed up that they don't know who he is? is he pissed of at them and wants to show them shit without realizing that it could be his downfall? like idk it’s his hubris i guess but also it doesn’t make sense why he wants to tell them now when years ago he could have also shown them ya know? and also like out of all the people why nancy? like i get that people (including me) at first theorized that ‘oh it’s because she feels guilt for barb’ which doesn’t make sense as that did happen YEARS AGO!!! nancy’s guilt while she fed still has it also has time to settle and for her to grieve meanwhile the others have trauma that are happening in the present or within a certain amount of time. anyway that was hella long.

yeah i hate that whole cheating plot line that they did with karen and ted - honestly I don't even know why they did that in season 3 especially because it's just swept under the rug in season 4 like not only was just poorly written but also it's not even carried over or anything. but also should be glad that i didn't have to see that in season 4. also love all your thoughts here (ngl i dont have much to say about this because also like i just completely have blocked out the wheeler family with this plot line.) also yes about everything that you said with billy

yes i will also give nancy the credit there. but also like you said: it doesn't seem that realistic but also the story has to story so i get it. and yeah you are so right the fight sort of takes away from that. yeah but also why didn't the rest of the hollway family not fully go after them. also why didn't any more of the possessed people go after them? the mindflayer acting as billy knows that El is around all of them or i believe he is at least aware of that - and also like it's a hive mind so why didn't more possessed people go after them?

#answered asks #also sorry a lot of me talking here didn't cover the rest of the ask but this got long so i'll stop it here

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skinnyducky · 3 years

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made for you // v.h.

hello.. im sorry i havent been posting. school has been keeping me busy but i wanted to post this. this idea comes from @yelenasdarling so thank you ! i recommend listening to halley’s comet by billie eilish (as well as the whole album) bc that’s the song that is being discussed in this (as well as many others), so yuh. enjoy ! and i promise i haven’t forgotten about party @ y/ns !

vinnie hacker x singer!fem!reader

Word Count: 1408, edited

WARNING: MAJOR FLUFF LUV

---------

As the year was coming to an end, so was your debut album. For months, you’d been working with the best producers, musicians, and doing endless promo for this album and within a few days, you’d be playing it for the label. Obviously because it is your first record, you’re protective over it. No one had heard it besides the people working on it. So, you were a bit nervous to let your pleading boyfriend, Vinnie, tag along to the studio with you.

It was Friday, and you two had been chilling in his room when your producer, Sarah, said she needed you to go over it before the label meeting. As you bid your goodbyes to Vinnie, informing him of the reason for your departure, he pouted. “Why can’t I come?” he nearly cried, giving you his puppy dog eyes. Because you couldn’t resist them—and you just can’t say “no” to him—you allowed him to come.

Now here the two of you were, in the studio and listening to Sarah go on and on about how long it took for her to finish mastering it. Your manager, Jen, had came too. She had to hear the album for herself also. She couldn’t have her client looking a mess in front of her bosses. Bad for business and her reputation.

“…and after an hour or two of making sure your vocals were clear, I finally finish the album.” Sarah explained. “Honestly, this is probably the best album I’ve produced in a minute, and I worked on SZA’s album.”

“That good?” Vinnie asked with a smirk, leaning against the studio door. “That’s sick. I’m ready to listen to it.”

As that sentence left Vinnie’s mouth, you felt your anxiety overcome you. “Are you sure, Sarah? There has to be some sort of adlib I need to rework or something. Can’t be ready so soon.”

“Y/n, it can’t get any better than this. This is a solid project. I should know, I spent days listening to it over and over again. Trust me, it’s ready.”

“Besides, it’s too late to rerecord now.” Jen added. “The label meeting is next Thursday, and we don’t have a week for Sarah to mix and master all over again. Once the label gives us the greenlight, if there’s anything to tweak, you can do it before you have to submit the final project. But until then, no changes and no additions.”

You sighed, nodded your head. It’s not that you were afraid of it not being perfect. You were more scared of what Vinnie would think. I mean, he’s the one who inspired the album; more than half of the songs are about him. His opinion meant everything to you, and if he didn’t like an inch of it…that would destroy you.

As you were sulking and picking at your chipped nail polish, Vinnie wandered over to you where you sat at the soundboard with Sarah. He leaned against it and smiled down at you. “What’s the matter, baby?”

“Nothing.” You sighed, keeping your head down. He scoffed and chuckled. “Y/n, you’re playing with your nail polish. You always do that when you’re upset.”

He pulled you up and took you out of your seat before sitting down himself and placing you on his lap. “Tell Santa what’s up.” He joked, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I’m just nervous. This album means so much to me.”

“Completely understandable. It’s your first one, it should mean a lot to you.”

You shook your head. “It’s not just because of that. It’s also because it’s about you. The only reason you haven’t came with me to the studio until now is because I didn’t want you to hate anything on this, and it would kill me if you did.”

“Y/n, look at me”—you finally met his eyes for the first time—“I could never not like anything you do. Especially if it’s dedicated to me. That’s like throwing away a gift you gave me. I wouldn’t ever do that. So don’t think for a minute that I’d hate this. That’s literally impossible.”

You smiled, planting a kiss on his forehead. “You’re too good for me.”

“I know.” He laughed and turned to Sarah. “Play us the album!” He said dramatically, sending the producer into a fit of giggles.

She followed his orders and with a few clicks and the press of a button, the first song from your album rang out from the studio speakers. You watched timidly as Vinnie bobbed his head up and down as it went from track to track.

“This shit slaps!” He exclaimed as “Y/n Bossa Nova” played. He nearly about died during “Oxytocin”, claiming it to be god tier. Minutes went by until you got to the final track “Halley’s Comet”, and you were scared to play him this song.

While the other tracks were quite playful in nature, this one was different. The song was a bit cynical, but it was also like a love letter to Vinnie. Never before have you ever felt what you had with him. And at first that made you scared. But as the months went by and your relationship started to blossom, you realized he was the one for you. This was just your way of telling him that.

When it started, you looked everywhere but at Vinnie. It wasn’t just because you couldn’t bear to see the expression on his face, but also because this song was quite emotional. You didn’t want him to see you “being a little bitch” as you put it.

The sound of your soft vocals bounced off the walls and you felt Vinnie place his chin on your shoulder. His hold on you grew tighter as he swayed you two back forth. A small smile crept it’s way onto your face as you tried your best to stray away from crying.

“I’ve been loved before, but right now in this moment,” you sung, “I feel more and more like I was made for you…”

When those lyrics hit, you felt Vinnie stop swaying. Hell, you were pretty sure he had stopped breathing too. You didn’t know what to think about that; did he not like the song, is he shocked? What was he thinking and feeling? Shortly after, the song came to an end with you singing, “I think I might have fallen in love…what am I to do?”

And with that, the album finished. The room was silent, the only sound being your sniffles. Although that was broken when Sarah screamed. “Wasn’t that amazing!? Ugh, my power…I really outdid myself on this one.”

Thankfully, Jen understood the impact of that last song. “Sarah, why don’t we go get a Snickers or something from the vending machine?”

“I can’t eat anything fatty, Jen. You know this.”

Jen mouthed some profanities and threats at the woman causing her to shoot up from her chair and run out into the hallway. “We’ll leave you two alone for a minute.” Jen smiled, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.

Neither of you or Vinnie spoke and that somewhat was comforting. However, part of it made you feel insecure about the album, “Halley’s Comet” in specific. Out of all the songs, that’s the one you wanted him to like the most.

The silence soon grew uncomfortable, so you decided to be the first to speak. “Well, that was the album. What’d you think?”

He opened his mouth, but it was obviously he couldn’t find the right words to say. “I-I don’t know how to even put it in words.”

“That bad?” You sighed.

“No, never.” He laughed. “It was beautiful, all of it really. And that last song, that was amazing.”

You pursed your lips, hiding the grin wanting to break free. “You think so?”

“Yeah, it was definitely one of my favorites. To know I had that much of an impact on you, it’s really sweet. I didn’t think I could simp for you any harder than I do now.”

“Shut up!” you laughed, slapping his shoulder.

“It’s the truth!” he said, throwing his hands up in defense. “I love you, Y/n. I really do.”

“I love you too.” And with that, he laid a sweet and gentle kiss on your lips.

Pulling back, he said, “Oh and just so you know, I agree with you.”

“On what?”

“You were definitely made for me.”

#vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie x reader #vinnie hacker imagine #vinnie hacker

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sortasirius · 3 years

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“Despair” and Dean and Cas

Well well well, winning is my favorite thing.

As usual, this is going to be as long as hell. And fair warning, it’s extremely emotional.

So here it is, the thing that we have been barrelling towards for years, literally years.

Just want to point out this. Also, I will NEVER allow someone to speak negatively about this writing group, EVER.

Team Free Dads starting off the episode is so sweet, so scary. Cas’ calming, Dean’s fear, Sam’s desperation, really just hammering home how much they love Jack, how his pain is pain for them, how losing him is unbearable.

“I can’t stop this. I’m coming apart. I don’t want to hurt you. Don’t let me hurt you.”

Oof. If you’ve ever question whether Jack is a Winchester, this line should shut that shit down for you.

When I tell you I was PISSED when Billie sent Jack to the Empty to EXPLODE????? PAIN.

“Yeah the Empty can’t come to earth, not without being summoned.”

Hello Bobo, clue number 1.

The fact that they only had Jack in limbo for like five seconds was great for my heart health, thank u very much Bobo.

Also Dean wielding Death’s scythe?????? KING?????

Man, Sam and Dean’s growth. The way that they’re able to, idk, actually speak on how they feel without death looming or fear or pain. It’s just a conversation, just an honest conversation of Dean admitting his mistakes, admitting how he felt. Admitting that he fucked up, and Sam forgiving him for it.

CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF

Also...hunters and their “dates.” Two hunters who are happily together, who are happily fighting monsters. Hm. Sounds like a Saileen/Destiel parallel to me boys.

You ever wish Cas would look and the mirror and take the great advice he gives others? Because I do. He’s always tried to be “useful” for Sam and Dean, for Jack, always tried to make sure that he’s useful enough that they keep him around. But what he doesn’t understand, what he’s never understood, is that they need him because of who he is, not because of what he contributes.

Remind y’all of anything?

And here we have Clue Number 2

And then, Sam’s realization. Eileen.

Did I begin full tilt screaming no in my apartment when he said her name? Who’s to say?

How can a lock screen cause me this much pain????

Okay but: Charlie loses Stevie, Sam loses Eileen. Clue Number 3.

I feel like I don’t talk enough about how much Sam loves Eileen. About how obvious it is that they are endgame, about how happy he is when he talks about her. This just feels like a blow to the stomach, but we’ve barely even started.

Sam immediately shifting into protective leader mode? He is the love of my life.

Dean’s simple nod, like it’s a given? Enough to do me in right there.

This is another episode where it’s just so clear that Sam is the leader of the North American hunters. Everyone knows him, everyone is willing to follow him. He’s knowledgeable and kind and fair and just and an incredibly capable fighter. Once again, I don’t believe his work on earth is done.

Can we also please talk about how FRIGHTENING IT WAS for Jack to kill that plant??? I don’t really have much of a comment on it because I was literally just like ?????

With Billie saying that it’s Chuck, the way that people were dusted, very similar to Becky and Amara, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised, especially with Donna getting taken off the board. It’s like I said last week, I don’t buy that he’s taken himself off the board, he’s too invested in the unraveling of this story to take a step back. He’s gotta break them before he can defeat them, that’s the only way.

And here we go, into one of the most painful and surreal things I will ever write about.

Dean’s speech. His guilt, his regret. The shame of not only trapping himself, but the pain, the horror of trapping Cas.

“I just lead us into another trap. All because I, I couldn’t hurt Chuck. Because I was angry and because I just needed something to kill, and because that’s all I know how to do.”

“Dean-”

“It was Chuck all along. We never should have left Sam and Jack, we should be there with them now. Everybody’s gonna die, Cas. Everybody. I can’t stop it.”

His narrative arc. Tied up in a bow.

“She’s gonna get through that door.”

“I know.”

“And she’s gonna kill you and then she’s gonna kill me. I’m sorry.”

Cas smiles.

Cas knows. He knows what’ll get them out of this, and he knows that he would do anything in this Universe for Dean Winchester. The human man he fell for.

“When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him.”

“You what?”

“The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I’ve wondered what it could be, what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer, because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have.

“But I think I know, I think I know now...happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.”

“What are you talking about, man?”

The most selfless thing Cas does in this, and he does a lot of selfless things, is to tell Dean Winchester how impossibly good he is. To tell him that he is worthy, to tell him that he is adored.

“I know, I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken and you’re daddy’s blunt instrument. And you think that hate and anger, that’s what drives you, that’s who you are. It’s not. And everyone who knows you sees it, and everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raise your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are.

“You’re the most caring man on earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you outta Hell...knowing you has changed me.

“Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you.

“You changed me, Dean.”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Dean’s greatest fear. His fear of those loving him leaving him. The terror of being alone.

“Because it is.

The head shake. Don’t love me. Don’t love me if it means you’ll leave me, don’t love me, everyone I love leaves me. Don’t leave me. Don’t love me. Don’t leave me.

“Don’t do this, Cas.”

Just like I always thought. One last look at Dean before the Empty takes him.

“Cas-”

“Goodbye Dean.”

And Dean is left, broken on the floor, unable to answer Sam’s calls, unable to do anything. It doesn’t matter to him that Chuck has wiped everyone out, it doesn’t matter to him that Sam and Jack might need him. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, because the thing that mattered still hangs on his lips, still waiting to be said, and now he won’t get another chance to say it.

The fact that I am writing this, even with all my spec, with all my analysis of the writers’ room, of their text, of the way Dabb and co had approached this story, nothing could have ever prepared me for this. Nothing could have prepared me for a three and a half minute, uninterrupted scene where Cas confesses not only that he loves Dean, but that he has always loved him.

I talk a lot about how these writers don’t get the credit they deserve. Unfortunately, from most of this fandom, they never will. We will likely never know the fights with the network they had, the steps backward they had to take, the way they had to beg and fight and claw to get this on the screen. But they did it. They did it for these characters, they did it for this dinosaur of a show, and yeah, they did it for us.

It was not easy, I can promise you, to get this greenlit. They had to fight for this, they likely had to call in favors and make threats and quite literally put their careers on the line (you may scoff at that, but WB is a BIG company, especially in the TV/movie world) for this story. This story of Dean and Cas, the man dragged out of Hell and the angel who fell for him.

I have tons more to say, and will likely have several more posts about this, but I want to leave all my babes who are worried that that was the end for Dean and Cas with some takeaways.

Sam is missing Eileen. Dean is missing Cas. That is no longer a fun subtextual parallel, that is it for them. Their respective endgames are missing, and they will not know their peace until they get them back. Chuck will not win. That’s not the story being told, and right now? He’s winning. He’s broken them, left them with nothing, left them with an empty world and a hole in each of their hearts where their person (or angel) used to be.

Our show is going to end with “contentment.” “Contentment” isn’t from Sam and Dean being filled with grief and hitting the open road. It isn’t Sam getting Eileen back and leaving Dean with no one. “Contentment” is Sam and Eileen, Dean and Cas. Together.

#destiel #spn #supernatural #my meta #destiel meta #spoilers #spn 15x18 #i cannot believe this #i cant believe i wrote this #this is real #theyre really canon

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