#and yet I keep being like ‘but there are cheaper options —‘

[sirfrogsworth]

The Death of Physical Media

I keep seeing this concern around all of my home theater circles. Ever since Best Buy decided to abandon physical media there has been a call to arms to save it.

Chris Stuckman did a great video on his love of physical media.

I admire and share his passion.

That said, I think there is nothing to stop physical media from being scaled back. At best, it will end up like vinyl and only a few select titles will still be pressed.

Which is why I think saving physical media is the wrong fight.

There is a much larger fight that encompasses more than just blu-ray discs...

(I'm going to use really big letters for dramatic effect so don't get startled.)

DATA OWNERSHIP!

(Imagine a long trailing echo when reading that in your mind.)

(Sorry, I probably should have included those instructions in the previous parenthetical. So go back and read "data ownership" again with the proper gusto.)

(Did you do it?)

(Was it cool?)

(Cool.)

A blu-ray is just data.

The disc does not positively affect the visuals or the sounds. It's just 1s and 0s coded into microscopic pits. You can put that data on a hard drive. You can put it on an SD Card. You can put it on a thumb drive and wear it on a necklace.

You can even use WinRAR to break it up into little 1.44 megabyte chunks and save it to floppy disks.

Another 40 more cases of floppies and you've got Avatar preserved for life!

The medium is not important.

The *data* is important.

And as everything turns into a subscription we are losing out on ways to own data. Beyond that, people aren't yet seeing the value of owning data. If renting a digital download is cheaper, they are almost always going to choose that option.

So the fight is two-fold.

We need to fight for the right to parrrrrty own data.

We need to convince the populace of the value of owning data.

This can apply to software, movies, video games. Hell, I don't even own my damn doorbell videos. There is no way to download all of the footage. I'd have to do each video one at a time. And if I don't keep my subscription, I will no longer have access to that data as it will soon be deleted.

We would need a platform similar to Steam—though it isn't the perfect data ownership solution. Many titles require internet connectivity and DRM verification. What happens to our media when a company goes out of business and the infrastructure to verify the DRM over the internet is gone?

So that would need to be addressed. Perhaps a new form of DRM linked to our digital identity that can be verified locally.

I mean, I'd love to get rid of DRM, but that is probably not realistic.

I think the best avenue is probably a congressional law.

"The Own Your Own Data Act"

TOYODA?

We can workshop the name later.

In conclusion, we don't need to save blu-rays. We need the option to buy data and actually own it in perpetuity.

Meaning if a streaming service deletes a movie or a movie studio goes belly up, our data doesn't disintegrate along with it. We cannot let our favorite shows go extinct. We need to be part of preserving that history. Not to mention discs have a shelf life. But data can be transferred to new mediums indefinitely.

My house is just going to be wall to wall floppy disks.

#long post #Youtube

[barrel-crow-n]

Kaz being horrible to Kuwei in chapter 3 (with Jesper occasionally acting as a Kaz-translator + a jab at Matthias because apparently Kaz can't stop himself) <3

"What did I tell you?" Kaz growled, pointing his cane at him.

"My Kerch isn't very good," protested Kuwei.

"Don't run games on me, kid. It's good enough. Stay in the tomb."

Kuwei hung his head. "Stay in the tomb," he repeated, glumly.

"Well?" Jesper prodded.

"I have other interests," Kuwei replied.

Kaz's black gaze pinned Kuwei like the tip of a dagger. "I suggest rethinking your priorities."

Jesper gave Kuwei another nudge. "That's Kaz's way of saying, 'Help Wylan or I'll seal you up in one of these tombs and see how that suits your interests.'"

"I would prefer to go to Ravka," he repeated more firmly. Kaz's flat black gaze fastened on Kuwei and held. Kuwei squirmed nervously. "Why is he looking at me this way?"

"Kaz is wondering if he should keep you alive," said Jesper. "Terrible for the nerves. I recommend deep breathing. Maybe a tonic."

"Jesper, stop," said Wylan.

"Both of you need to relax." Jesper patted Kuwei's hand. "We're not going to let him put you in the ground."

Kaz raised a brow. "Let's not make any promises just yet."

"Come on, Kaz. We didn't go to all that trouble to save Kuwei just to make him worm food."

There was a long, tense pause, then Kaz ran a gloved thumb over the crease of his trousers and said, "Nina, love, translate for me? I want to make sure Kuwei and I understand each other."

"Kaz-" she said warningly.

Kaz shifted forward and rested his hands on his knees, a kind older brother offering some friendly advice. "I think it's important that you understand the change in your circumstances. Van Eck knows the first place you'd go for sanctuary would be Ravka, so any ship bound for its shores is going to be searched top to bottom. The only Tailors powerful enough to make you look like someone else are in Ravka, unless Nina wants to take another dose of parem."

Matthias growled.

"Which is unlikely," Kaz conceded. "Now, I assume you don't want me to cart you back to Fjerda or the Shu Han?"

It was clear that Nina had finished the translation when Kuwei yelped, "No!"

"The your choices are Novyi Zem and the Southern Colonies, but the Kerch presence in the colonies is far lower. Also, the weather is better, if you're partial to that kind of thing. You are a stolen painting, Kuwei. Too recognisable to sell on the open market, too valuable to leave lying around. You are worthless to me."

"I'm not translating that," Nina snapped.

"Then translate this: My sole concern is keeping you away from Jan Van Eck, and if you want me to start exploring more definite options, a bullet is a lot cheaper than putting you on a ship to the Southern Colonies."

Nina did translate, though haltingly.

Kuwei responded in Shu. Nina hesitated. "He says you're cruel."

"I'm pragmatic. If I were cruel, I'd give him a eulogy instead of a conversation. So, Kuwei, you'll go to the Southern Colonies, and when the heat has died down, you can find your way to Ravka or Matthias' grandmother's house for all I care."

"Leave my grandmother out of this," Matthias said.

Nina translated, and at last, Kuwei gave a stiff nod.

#honestly i could make a post of “kaz being horrible to x” for every character in the books #the bold parts are the most outta pocket bits #he's such a bitch #kaz being kaz #matthias and kaz #kuwei yul bo #nina zenik #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #crooked kingdom

[neddea]

Polaroid Go tips and tricks - I really love this camera!

This is basically the post I wish I had read before and after I bought the Polaroid Go. I haven’t been able to find much info on tips and tricks, so I’m gonna share what I’ve learned, also with the intention of getting some feedback and hopefully more knowledge from the community 🙏🏻 Also, beware of the long post, I guess!

(NOTE: This is about the 2nd Gen Go, idk anything about the 1st Gen version).

The reasons I bought the Go instead of any other Instax or Polaroid camera:

☑️Analog camera instead of digital (I wasn’t sure about many other instant cameras). I wanted to restrict myself and not even have a screen to be able to tweak things or choose which picture I wanted to print. The goal for me was to learn photography in itself by using the “simplest” tools. If the picture turns out well, it’s because I’ve understood how to use the tools and how to get the most out of them (and sometimes I’m just lucky, let’s be honest!)

☑️Easy to carry around. I have ADHD, so I know that I will never do something if it feels like a bit too much work to get started on (for example, taking pictures outside if carrying it is a hassle). The Go was by far the best one in that sense.

☑️The film is cheaper than the other Polaroid films (at least that I’m aware of). This is huuuge for me, since I wanted to take as many pics as I could and not feel as bad if I “wasted” film with experiments and trials. Still not as affordable as Instax film though, but closer than other types.

☑️It has filters. I know, this might seem like a dumb reason, but I really wanted to get into this hobby because I wanted to relearn photography and go back to that feeling of physicality that used to inspire me back in college. I wanted to experiment with cellophane paper and with the chemistry of the film itself and whatever idea came to mind, and the filters added to that goal. Some instax cameras have unofficial filters, but they didn’t seem as… sturdy? Properly made? Idk, looks deceive and they could be great for all I know (if anyone has experience with them let me know, I’m curious!)

☑️Double exposure and flash On/Off options. Two other huge reasons why I chose this camera! For the same reasons as the one before: I wanted to experiment and be able to control the tool to take the pros and cons to the extreme.

☑️Accessories to carry it around and keep it safe (although I have things to say about some incompatibility issues).

That being said, things I don’t like as much:

🔻Can’t control exposure times and diaphragm aperture (sorry if the terms are incorrect, English is not my mother tongue and I learned the basics in Spanish). There are only two options and they’re automatic, so it’s a bit difficult to get it right. You can half press the shutter button to lock focus distance and light sensitivity though, but I haven’t mastered it quite yet.

🔻Polaroid film is not the most stable (I find it difficult to put this as a downside, I’m actually quite happy and even grateful that it works like this to the point that I count it as an extra tool and a huge part of the artistic process. Then again, sometimes you want things to work as you planned, so I’m guessing this can be a bad thing for many people).

🔻The film is still expensive, especially if you add shipping expenses. There aren’t nearly as many options as with other Polaroid cameras, the only available editions are the white frame and the black frame. I’d love to be able to use the peach frame, or a monochrome film, or the Bowie edition… but it seems like Polaroid doesn’t pamper the Go as much as its siblings

🔻Pictures tend to not be as sharp as the bigger films or it’s harder to get them right.

🔻Too much contrast between shadows and lights.

All in all, I’m really, really happy with it! I think it was the perfect choice for me, and I’m sad to see it isn’t as loved in the community (I’ve read though that the 1st gen wasn’t great, so that might be one of the reasons).

I also wanted to share my tips and tricks for different things!

🔳Double exposure: I'm still figuring things out, but so far my best takes have been in total darkness with very intense and direct light sources (a phone's flash directed to the camera, for example). For anyone who has never tried or doesn't know how this works: think of photography as painting with light on a black canvas. Total darkness means total lack of light, so you're not painting anything, right? This is especially useful for double exposure, which basically means taking two pictures in one. If you have absolute darkness with one small source of light and you take the first exposure, you still have plenty of "blank" canvas left, so the second exposure's lightened parts are gonna superimpose over the darkness of the first one. For example, in the first pic below the first take was for the two lines and circle (with the blue filter) and the second was for my friends' portraits (with a yellow filter). Play around with the shadows and lights, you can for example give some texture to the shadows of an otherwise well lit figure. For this reason I don't recommend using the flash, but hey, there's probably a good way to use both!

⚠️BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE TO IT. You wish you could take more than two exposures?? YOU ACTUALLY CAN. I just discovered this and I'm over the moon: double tap the flash button to turn on the double exposure mode, take the first one, turn the camera off; turn it on again, double tap for double exposure, AND THERE YOU GO, you are gonna take three exposures now. Do this ad infinitum if you want to (probably not the best idea for the film though). I'm so happy about this, you have no idea.

🔳Filters: I’m still getting used to them so I might be wrong, but generally speaking they reduce contrast. Pure blacks and whites will still be there if it's a well lit place, but you get more details on parts that would be otherwise slightly overexposed, and the middle tones don't get as dark. I also have a feeling that the flash works wonders on closer shots, tinting that plane more strongly with the filter, but as the flash reach fades into the background, the filter is not as visible (again, I'm basing this in just one picture that looks like that, I'll have to do more research). Another rule of thumb: yellow is the lightest color and blue is the darkest, so use them wisely. The blue filter is probably going to make the shot look a bit darker, and the yellow one might make it look too bright. I want to hear how anyone else feels about them, I might be completely on the wrong track with these!

🔳Incompatibilities between accessories: This one is annoying. I bought all together the hard case, the silicone skin, the travelling bag, the mini album, the wrist band, the bigger band and the filters. The main issue is the silicone skin, since if used the camera doesn't fit inside the hard case, AND you cannot add the filters to the camera because there's no window for it. I had to cut the frontal part of the skin so I could fit the filters, which is not ideal. I don't know how Polaroid has overlooked this particular thing, but yeah, be aware of that. The bands and the mini album have a ring with a clamp that allows you to attach them to each other or to other bags pretty easily.

🔳Using the countdown to get sharper pics. If your pulse is as unstable as mine and you're shooting a picture under dim lighting circumstances, I'd advise you to use the countdown tool to avoid any blurriness and shakiness. At least for me, when I click the shutter button I end up moving the camera slightly, which has slightly ruined some pics (this is not just Polaroid, it's just a general photography thing, but heavier cameras are not as sensitive to movement, I think. Physics, idk). So to avoid that, I just press the flash button for several seconds until a LED light lights up on the front of the camera. When you press the shutter, it counts down to 9, I think, and then takes the pic.

🔳Film temperature and development: Listen. Some people might complain about this, but I actually see it as another tool to take the shots that I want. I feel it's more impressionist-like than any other kind of photography, since it captures not just what the eye can see: it also kinda captures the impression and feeling of the moment. I've taken several pictures of my hometown, and it was around freezing temps outside, so when I took the first pic of course the shadows came off looking blueish and greenish, and they didn't get too dark at all. At first I was confused and a bit disappointed, but after two or three more shots I was ecstatic about it. It reminded me of the blueish greys Monet used in his paintings. I made some experimentation with the amount of time the pics developed in the cold and it's just so much fun. So yeah, id say use it in your favour! Remember to keep it close to the body in the cold to avoid it, and maybe some insulated pockets for the heat (Polaroid sells a bag for the camera with one such pocket, but I feel it doesn't work too well against the cold, would have to try in hotter temps). ALSO, sometimes it will take several days for the shadows to get as strong as they'll get! Especially if the pic developed in cold temps.

🔳Let entropy be part of it. Just experiment with the camera. Take lots of double exposure pics to try specific things without wasting as much film. Remember: sometimes the pics won't come out as perfect as you'd like, but often enough the reason might be something you might have done wrong; other times, it's just bad luck with the film or something else. Sometimes those imperfections add to the feeling of the picture. And sometimes you half-assedly take a shot and it turns out to be especially interesting. It can feel like every pic is a conversation between you and the camera (as cheesy as this might sound), and some things that you find compelling the camera might not be too thrilled about; sometimes you can convince it, and sometimes it shows you the beauty of something you didn't pay too much attention to. Take all of the pictures as learning opportunities, adapt to the tools you have. This camera can be really good for what it is, but it has its own personality (and so does the film), and sometimes it takes a while to warm up to new people, right? (Instead I feel like I just found my new best friend right off the bat LMAO)

🔳Finally, Polaroid's app isn't necessarily created for the Go, since it doesn't have any Bluetooth tools, but it does help with scanning. I'd recommend giving it a Go (pun intended), since it already crops and fixes the perspective of the image to show just the frame and photo. I normally have to edit it so that it looks a bit closer to the physical picture, but that's just me going the extra mile.

I think that's it! I'm still thinking about how to store or showcase the pictures in a nice way, do you guys have any ideas? How do you do it? I'm also saving all the used film cartridges (is that the right word?), I don't know what for but I want to do something with them! I've seen people displaying pictures in them though... Any ideas?

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk (I’m so sorry for this stupidly long post)

#polaroid #Polaroid go #polaroid film #Polaroid tips #instant photography #neddea #my art #my stuff #I wish this post existed when I first got the camera #I would have saved money lmao #experimenting with instant film is fun but EXPENSIVE #hope this is helpful to anyone out there in the wild #there’s not much of a Polaroid community on Tumblr though #this will probably be buried in the timeline #my polaroid journey

[bluebugjay]

Drugstore Perfume analysis yay!

Characters:

'She' - being sung about

'I' - the narrator

'They' - ?? (the haters)

Key:

Bold / Italics = Lyrics

Non italics = Analysis

She waits at windows

Her dreams don't show in color,

and she sleeps

For now

But she just waits around

Whole first section basically saying she is stuck and seemingly given up on her 'dreams' (they don't show in color meaning they haven't been realised yet) she's waiting at windows, watching other people live their lives whilst she's stuck behind the glass, waiting around

Wishing she could leave, single mothers

In parking lots

And wear another girl's evening out

This place lets you down, easy

She wants to escape her current life, the responsibilities that come with it the monotony and wear another girl's evening out. She seems to believe she's incapable of living her life like the other girls and wishes she could. This links to the name of the song as well 'Drugstore Perfume', its a cheaper option, one possibly looked down upon as not a 'proper' perfume, just another way she doesn't fit in with the other girls

She gets up to buy a drink

I notice why when she walks by

There's something caught in her eye,

First mention of 'I'. Something being caught in her eye reminds me of the saying 'a twinkle in your eye' and the use of 'caught' rather than stuck, or a more negative sounding word makes me think its a good thing there's something in her eye, not in a literal sense but as if the 'twinkle' is hope for her dreams, circling back to the first section implying she hasn't fully given up and deep down there's still a chance

she says, That she can't change for love

And she explains how long she's waited for

She wanted more

She can't change for love implies someone has asked her to change, someone who 'loves' her but she just can't even for that. The use of waiting again but the sentence is left unfinished, she's waited for...? At this point we don't know for sure but assumably it's whatever her 'dreams' are. She wanted more, also suggests this isn't what she expected, seems like she's not done anything wrong but is being punished anyways by being kept waiting at the window

Dead leaves, desperate summers

All-ages club, and metal shutters to keep you out

Dead leaves, desperate summers seems to represent time passing, autumn to summer is one whole year so this is referencing how long she's waited and been stuck where she is, years. All-ages clubs probably signifies she's young still and metal shutters I think are more symbolic, she's not necessarily actually been shut out of the clubs but in a metaphorical sense maybe she's not fitting in, people are not including her, she feels left out. but she can't change for love

While we hang around factories

Till we meet each other

Two discount lives and heavy numbers

To keep you down

Factories seems too specific not to be symbolic. Factories are where products are built and made, I think if we know she's young this is a kind of 'coming of age' metaphor, she's hanging around factories, she is the product and she's finding herself, creating herself. This is further backed up by 'two discount lives', products (sometimes made in factories) get discounted. Her life is discounted as it feels broken or unfit or even only half there, because when something is discounted the price is reduced. Also she and the narrator are interacting now, they are a 'we'. Both of them are in the same position thinking their lives are discount, they're both hanging around factories

If I wait around, maybe she

Might come back to say that I'm

Not sure you know my name, that's fine

But take me with you this time, she says

The 'come back' seems like we've jumped forward in time, the narrator was looking back before and now is in the present. seemingly the narrator and her have gone separate ways and the narrator wishes she would come back and want the same as they do, to not be separate. Not sure you know my name, is interesting as if these were two people who'd met already surely they'd know each others names so it's possible these are just characters representing concepts rather than actually people themselves, the narrator not knowing her name meaning she's not something they're familiar with or fully understands or has come to terms with yet. But even as the narrator knows this, they still want her back

That she can't change for love

And she explains how long she's waited for

She wanted more

Chorus again, after the time jump is seems repeating this with no change suggests she still feels this way, she's still waiting, wanting to leave the window, she still wants more than she's been given now

Gone, today

I might just see you around

It hurts but I understand

If you can't find another reason not to stay

This again is the narrator hoping to meet her again saying it hurts to be without her but they understand why she might not want to leave where she is. With where she is, being trapped waiting behind the window from the first section. It's unclear as this part is from the narrators perspective how she feels, whether she would want to stay or not, if she's waiting for something it seems maybe she won't leave until that thing arrives

And while she's walking away, she says

That she can't change for love

And she explains how long she's waited for

She wanted more

And as these days go by

They can't change how long we've waited for

A love that's more

A love that's more

The chorus again but with a twist at the end. The use of the word 'they' for the first time saying 'they can't change', going back to the line 'she can't change for love' seems like the people being referred to here are the people who don't accept her and with the use of 'we' again, the narrator too, and want them to change. But they can't change. And we finally get the answer to what they've been waiting for and dreaming of, 'a love that's more'. More being unconditional. More being without the need for them to change. They're waiting to be accepted as they are. She is still waiting at the window for a love that's more but it seems the narrator is just waiting for her. Going back to the thought she is more like a concept than a character, she could represent the thing people want to change, she's hidden away, waiting to be accepted and loved but the day just isn't coming. Whereas the narrator could be the person who people want to change, they're trying to accept who they are knowing they can't change, they want her to come back so they can keep the aspect of them she represents with them, and out from behind the window. In that sense the love that's more is the love between them, between a person and themself, a person and all the parts of themself everyone else can't accept, self-acceptance. She and the narrator are one in the same. It's a search for self-love

So to try and summarise, it's a song about a personified aspect of the narrator who is hidden away, waiting to be loved. The narrator seems to start off pretty lonely and secluded and insecure then in the face of not being accepted attempt to accept themself, give themself that 'love that's more' as no one else is. It's technically left open ended whether she leaves the window or not but the use of 'we' at the end and the repeating chorus could imply a happy ending (or at least that's what I like to believe)

also I think with a song so complex it's bound to mean a bunch of different things to a bunch of different people so this is just my take on the song, not saying its the only one or even the right one :)

#i love this song so much there's so many layers #talk to me about it! #drugstore perfume #gerard way #hesitant alien #mcr #my chemical romance

[apostaterevolutionary]

Wholly agree Duolingo isn't great any more but it's the only fully free site so it's all I can use...:(

I totally get it anon, it’s a tough situation. For what it’s worth, I believe most of memrise is free, so it might be worth taking a look to see if it has your language. And I mentioned this in the post, but your local library may give you free access to other apps. Tumblr library propaganda has taught me many things about what libraries offer!

And even though I’ve been mad at duo for a lot longer (since they rolled out that stupid path, even though I managed to dodge it for over a year by not updating my app, they did eventually force it onto my ancient and crumbling version lmao), I kept up with it for a long time just because I couldn’t find an alternative I liked. And tbh I’m still not sure what I’m gonna do now, cause it turns out I like casually learning languages, it’s fun and I don’t want to stop, I’d love to get at least conversational in several, but I’m not exactly sure where I’ll go from here yet

Even disregarding the ethical issues, I do worry about the future for duo learners because machine translation simply cannot compete with the real thing. I think anyone trying to read something from another language knows from experience lmao. But I think it will be a while before the app really dies, because the idea of learning for free is a good one. It’s just sad the ceo sold his soul and made duo publicly traded, because it’s been going downhill since (completely changing courses when you’re halfway through, the path, the loss of the forums, the removal of notes, the loss of typing practice, and now severe staff cuts for a cheaper but inferior option)

It sucks ass but it is what it is and I won’t necessarily judge anyone for sticking with it if it’s your only option. I also saw some statements from people who worked on the original duo courses as volunteers upset about these developments, but also distraught that all this work and effort and love they put into the courses would be for nothing if duo eventually does shut down. The courses were originally made by people, for free too, and most of their work is still there, I can’t blame them for being upset at their love letters to the world getting twisted but also not wanting their work to disappear forever because everyone quit. There’s no winning for them at this stage

Idk this is way more rambling than was necessary lmao, but anyway let’s summarize by saying I feel you, it sucks, but I also understand if people keep using the free version duo because, and especially depending on the language you’re working on, sometimes there really aren’t feasible alternatives

#you have my sympathies anon #i have a lot of feelings about duo lmao #I broke my streak at 950 days at the start of the year #and even though I’d set my mind to it and wasn’t happy with it anymore it was weirdly hard to do #I just miss what it used to be #it opened my eyes to the idea that maybe it is possible for me to learn more languages even if 9 years of french failed lmao #but on to new pastures I guess. once I figure out what they are #text #misc #generic ask tag #anon

[faint-kitten]

Okay since no one else would Care on any other discord or media platform I'm on. I'm just going to go off on Changes in Apex again on my own Blog.

I can't stop Respawn or the Apex fandom. But I'm going to weigh in on this bobz video here about a possible "Ash Reborn" TLDW: He suggests Ash's sword being incorporated into her ult as a Melee, and giving her a movement based tactacle. keep in mind, he's speculating and asking what we'd like to see, there is no confirmation of any of this. But it's been something on my mind since Rev happened: The idea they're just going to start completely re-working anyone the main meta players don't like. Until they just aren't themselves anymore, playwise. To that end: I'd honestly hate this?

I already hate what they're doing to the maps. Like I get it. They were tighter, faster matches in the Halloween event. But people forget there are NEW people trying apex for the FIRST time. My friends got into apex when the maps swapped over and not only did they miss out on really cool locations like Rampart's ship on World's Edge, which, is just a huge POI that eats up time and spreads people out, I get that. But some of the battles are just more boring on that map without all the extra fluff. It's like they shrank it, and flattened it and made it all one dimensional. And that's not only boring, but they found the smaller, harsher rings, and the smaller maps really hard to learn on because they were just constantly getting pushed into fights. They're still in that "Looting" and "staying alive" phase. They haven't even learned the confidence to push fights yet. For them "Top 5" is a perfectly acceptable win condition. There's a lot of changes that feel like they're being made to support the bulk of hardcore players without really, taking into account...like Respawn, these youtubers, these players (and I've argued with some people like them I get their POV and they won't be swayed on this but,) They've been in the Apex ecosystem too long. They're so used to it, and so good at it, they can't conceive of like what joe schmo player who doesn't get 2k every game and might only ever get 2-3 kills a match wants or enjoys. And that's just a hard thing about trying to appeal to everoyne. Speaking personally: i've played so much I think my current Level is assuming I'm ready for skilled lobbies I 100% am not yet. I had a solid week with bangalore where I was crushing it and all of the sudden I hit a new bracket level wise fuck it was like I was playing for the first time in pubs all over again. But getting back to Ash Reborn Like…we have characters who are instrumentally different for different purposes, for a reason. And I fear it's something that's getting lost as Apex continues to try to evolve and re-define itself. Things can't stay the same forever, I get that. You're paying people to make changes, people get bored and want changes, it's cheaper I guess to re-work an existing character than add new ones maybe?

For myself: I want to play different playstyles when I switch to another character. I want to play what that character has to offer. Because I get bored playing the same way. Like why have a bunch of characters if they're all going to fundamentally function similar? That's kinda my fear about this "reborn" path and "reborn" thinking and focus on pushing more battles. You're kind of taking away variety and options. Maybe some people WANT a tacticle that makes people sit still for a minute? I love damage tacaticals I love when Someone's running thinks they're getting away, and I snare them, and like it cracks their sheild, or downs them, because that was the LAST 20 damage they needed to go down. I like to pick characters to fill those different roles when I get bored. Like Sometimes I want to be Lifeline calling in packages and picking people up. ANd honestly the care package can be a little underwhelming so I won't be too sad if that Ult Changes (they are heavily implying Lifeline reborn WILL be a thing.) But she's kind of a beginer character, and like those are fucking important? Let noobs get people shields and backpacks. Let them feel like they're helping. To talk about the Homogonization feaer a bit. Lifeline, Mirage, and Newcastle all have different advantages to picking people up. Lifeline doesn't have to stay there, but she doens't have a sheild. Mirrage can turn invisible and turn you invisible and give you a second to escape, but he's not invulnerable when he does it. Newcastle has a shield and can pick you up while protecting you both. Like, to slap a shield on Lifeline's revive, (which it had at one point) would buff her. But also like...it takes away a bit of what makes playing Newcastle special? And means Lifeline looses that challenge of knowing WHEN to pick up your team. Because just picking them up whenever seriously can fuck them over because you're completely vulnerable and if you're in the open you're just a sitting target for someone to shoot to death. I target Lifeline Rez's more than downed people with their knockdown shields out. Something I could see them doing, is like, Ying from Paladins, or Mercy's Ult/the Medic's ult from Gears 5 where Lifeline reborn just pumps health into people, or maybe revives the whole team at once. That'd be kind of cool. I'm not opposed to changes. But I don't want characters to ALL have a movement ability. Or all have Ults that are used for Pushing, or making them OP one man armies. Fuse and Horizon have fundamentally different playstyles. I wouldn't want Horizon to get a damage tactical, or to turn Fuse into a faster more movement based character. Fuse mains like to hang back, lob grenades and snipe, like don't give him an Ult that just spams grenades and recharges his knuckle cluster as he gets downs. Like let characters have individual playstyles. Sometimes I want to be wraith putting out portals.

Sometimes I want to be Crypto and like scouting around and respawining team mates, or hovering my drone so I can see through walls a bit as I'm fighting. Giving Revenant his jump SUCKED to me, because it took away a key part of his kit (the silence) that made him different. It took away one of the things that made him feel different. The thing I wanted when I switched to him, because I was in the mood for it. Vantage, already has a Jump, when i wanted to do BS leap movement I played Vantage. When I wanted to "Shut em up real good" and crawl and climb high walls to sneak around: I played revenant. Now Rev's new kit is cool, his personality is fine, I've even come around on the design seeing it interact in the Killcode series, but his abilities are kind of generic. It feels like a watered down Ballistic. Like, I wouldn't want Ballistics' smart pistol to be replaced with a sidestep or a fucking teleport, right? Because like that's it's part of him? Like I want characters who can change up the fight or push people out of holes without having to just run up to the team. I like Maggie's drill because it keeps people from taking cover when I have them at range. I like Fuse's Cluster because it can hold a door while I revive someone or heal, or punishes "locked down" characters like Caustic. Jump towers replacing Valk's Ult. We've got two characters that jump AND we have Jump Pads for Octane. And we have Horizon's lift. Do we really need another "movement" Tactical? We have the Drill for Maggie. Like thats why they're assault classes? Their tacticals damage people. Sometimes you want a class like that. If you want to be movement based or evasive thats why we have the skirmisher. Like imagine taking away rampart's walls and replacing them with like a double jump.

Like, play your character because you like their kit. I get they want to refresh things and people say certain characters are boring but like: Don't change the kit so that everyone's the fucking same. Maggie's Big Ball is stupid, IT COULD DEFINITELY be re-worked into something else. But it has it's uses it could be re-vamped. But like I play maggie to run with shot guns and fire my drill. I play Mirage because it's like playing Konkuro from Naurto: I'm puppeting my clones to trick people. These characters have different personalities and playstyles and like. I fucking love Titanfall 2. I Love Ash. People hate on her heirloom but I want it. I love that character. I fucking love her snare, I love the fact she says some Lowkey BDSM stuff like "Time to bind you." I like her passive, no one else in the game has one like it. ANd if they fucking change it to another "see's enemies when hurt" or "moves faster when X." It's like... Stop. Fucking Stop. Just make a new character you asshats. And if you don't like that character don't pick them. I have different "guns" for each character, did you know that? Bangalore is an RE-45 and a Hemlock, every time. Crypto is the only one I use a Triple Take with. Lifeline I use a Mastiff with (Idk why but all my best lifeline games I had a mastiff.) Vantage is a Sentinal and an Alternator. I crave different playstyles when bored. And I really, really, really don't want to see the game just become Homogonous. I don't want to see Ash's arc snare replaced with some generic hop or something. Like her ult is one of TWO that teleports people and it ties back to her fucking Phase Dash on her Ronin. Like don't. Stop it. Don't mess with that shit. Not every character has to be a "push" character. or a "Movement" character. Why have classes at all at that point? Not every person plays the way ultra competitive people in Ranked, or on youtube or the Apex League Plays. I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you play this game everyday, and take it ultra serious: you need casual losers to fill your lobbies or who are you going to body every day. Let people have "fun" picks. Let people have fun. I like Ash's snare it's crazy useful sometimes. To take it away and give her like a jump seems like…why not just play someone else?

But what do I know? I'm mostly playing Apex at this point to Unlock Skins and because it's free and I'm broke. It keeps me occupied and it helps keep the voices from eating me alive when there's nothing else to do. I might not even enjoy this game anymore so maybe I don't have room to talk about it. Like, I eventually came around on the Redesign for Revenant and I'll play him, but like...it's not the same as when I'd be like: "You know what? I want to sling shot balls at people and scuttle around. I'm gonna switch to Revenant today." Idk. I know that Apex today is not the same as the Apex it was before I got involved. So it's always been changing and it always will be changing. And Autistic people: We're just a big fucking fan of change. Really, just really fires all the dopamine. So take it with a grain of salt. I'm just getting my opinion out on this. Like let Wraith mains and movement players play Wraith, don't try to turn everyone into wraith.

#Apex legends #apex ash #apex revenant #apex revenant reborn #Apex Ash Reborn? #venting

[sweetswesf]

Hello, everyone.

I had a good time with my mom. Despite what we’ve gone through, I put all that aside for the weekend and just tried to honor her the best I could so that she could enjoy her time and so that we could make a new memory. At the end she gave me some money and told me she would help me with rent so that I could stay in SF because it didn’t make sense for me to move back home if I needed to move back suddenly for a job.

At first I was like, “how sweet and naiive of her to think I’d get a job shortly after I move back” because I truly don’t know how long this unemployment time will be…

She saw what my day to day was like, and she felt sorry for me. She saw all the homelessness, my small space, heard about my lack of friendships and community here, how non-Black people just walk all over me on the street and don’t respect my space, and she knows I haven’t wanted to be here for a while, but she understands the smartest option at the moment is to just stay here…

I can say that I was really stressed this week. I didn’t have much motivation to do a lot of algorithms, but I still did what I could. I tried a few new food places out trying to fill a void. It helped a little bit, but with me being so conscious about every hour, calorie, and dollar, I’m not quite sure it was worth it. I went to a bakery that is usually really busy, but because I went while most people were at work, it was empty. The loneliness of that was just a reminder of my situation. The other place was in the financial district at lunch time. I didn’t plan to get there at lunch, but with public transportation and how slow I was moving that day, it ended up being at that time. I’m sure the people I saw working probably wish they had time off, but I was thinking “man, how nice would it be to have a job right now and not have to think you’re being irresponsible by eating $15 noodles you could have made for much cheaper…”

I’m continuing to pray and be hopeful for the best. I have to remind myself to keep studying, keep interviewing, keep trying, everyday. My Medi-Cal application STILL hasn’t been approved yet, and what’s better: they won’t answer their phones. I don’t want to go back to pay $700+ for health insurance.

I took SOOO many naps this week just exhausted from my mom’s visit. I did an interview. Interviewer was yawning and not paying attention. I would ask him questions, sometimes repetitively, but he wouldn’t respond to them. I guess he was tuning me out. One question in particular he didn’t respond to, so I continued with the design on that assumption, and he later corrected me on it. I had to remind him that I asked him about that and he didn’t say anything so that he wouldn’t give me negative feedback on that part, but once you call them out, it’s not a good look for you either 🤷🏾‍♀️. I asked for feedback and he told me he couldn’t give me any but that, “I definitely did some good things.” But the way he said that makes me think there were a lot of negatives.

There was some “okay” news for the role I’m hoping for and another person who referred me to a different role said she would bump the recruiter. I just hope I can stay focused, not forget what I have learned thus far, and not be so distracted by my circumstances so that I can get what I want.

I’m struggling with confidence and thinking about all the money I have spent during this time. Every day I wake up like wow, I’ve gone 9 months without a job…

The longest I’ve heard of someone going without a job is 2 years. With every passing day, I feel like I get less and less attractive to open positions and that doesn’t feel great, because I don’t want to settle for a position just to have something.

I won’t forget this time. It’s been traumatic. I still cry everyday.

I’m so emotionally sensitive as well. My mom bought me groceries after I had just bought groceries and it angered me. Just give me the money. I am not lacking in food. I probably am eating too much. I need money for rent and health care, primarily. It made me wonder if she didn’t trust me to spend the money she would give me wisely. She also bought me something that would give me more counter space and it frustrates me because it reminded me of how small and frustrating my counter space is and how I want to be in an apartment with more counter space. I also felt like that money she spent on that could have gone to rent or health care.

I told her how I felt. She understood. Just saying those words to her made me cry. I was frustrated and I was frustrated that I was frustrated. I felt ungrateful. She was trying to help and I was trying to dictate how she should help me. It also just reminded me of my situation again. I didn’t have this stress when I had a job. I didn’t have to have these hard conversations. I didn’t have to be so hyper-vigilant about every dollar.

I’m trying my best to stay calm and just focus on His promise for my life. And just appreciate things, no matter how “sweet” I used to have it. I have to believe that great is coming and that I’m going through this for a reason.

My little brother moved back to LA from Korea. He was there probably less than a month. I thought my mom knew he was on anti-depressant and anxiety meds when I saw them after I had his room cleaned. Apparently she didn’t know. Apparently when they went on their vacation to Arizona, he didn’t take his meds and my cousins told my mom that he was freaking out. Apparently, he didn’t take his meds on his trip to Japan and had a panic attack that my mom had to pay a $1k hospital bill for. Apparently, he wants to move to my grandmother’s house, the house I planned to move to if I had to move home.

My brain couldn’t process all of this and I just shook my head. I want my dream job real bad and healing for myself and my family.

With all this exhaustion, the thought of jumping right into a job fatigues me. Sure I could “take mini breaks” now, but how do I do that on a small budget without over consuming social media?

Speaking of which, I want to try next week to just consume less social media. If I need a break, I need to just walk around, open my Bible, close my eyes.

I wished one of my “friends” who stopped contacting me a happy birthday and offered to take her out. She said she felt really withdrawn. I haven’t heard from her since Monday. I feel that relationship has ended and I need to stop putting so much effort into maintaining it when she’s showed me so many signs that she’s done.

I was thinking about how Lil Wayne said he wanted to kill hisself after he was told he couldn’t rap anymore. I get it. If something you’re so passionate about gets taken away from you, you know you’ll be missing that thing forever and nothing short of God can replace that gratifying feeling. Not saying that it’s smart to consider that, but I don’t judge him for feeling that way. I could see why he felt that way. There is always a brighter day and reason to live and keep trying.

My mentor from my old team who’s been practice interviewing me hasn’t left my side. He’s remained encouraging, and consistently meets with me. I owe that man SO MUCH! I’m thinking about giving him $1k after I get a job, but he deserves SOOO much more than that.

I’m grateful for all the blessings and this time. I know more than what I want is coming and that I’m stronger than I think I am.

#software engineering #san francisco #python #silicon valley #coding #women in tech #software engineer #black in tech #black women in tech #tech layoffs #bay area #codeblr

[thethirdromana]

A more dismal-looking habitation one could hardly imagine. It was one of those dreadful jerry-built houses which, while they are still new, look old. It had quite possibly only been built a year or two, and yet, owing to neglect, or to poverty of construction, or to a combination of the two, it was already threatening to tumble down. It was a small place, a couple of storeys high, and would have been dear—I should think!—at thirty pounds a year... A low wall ran in front, which had apparently at one time been surmounted by something in the shape of an iron railing,—a rusty piece of metal still remained on one end; but, since there was only about a foot between it and the building, which was practically built upon the road,—whether the wall was intended to ensure privacy, or was merely for ornament, was not clear.

Marjorie - with her electric lights, army of servants and no need to work in her life - is being disdainful here about what's probably a very normal house.

From the description, it's almost certainly a two-up, two-down terrace, which is the kind of house the Victorians built millions of. And no matter what Marjorie thinks, they built them to last, as evidenced by the fact that I'm sitting in one right now. (And very nice it is too).

Pictured: not the terraced street I live on, but one quite a lot like it.

Note the low wall and fencing that Marjorie describes.

In fact, this is the slightly nicer version. In the cheaper option, the front door opens directly on to the street. (Mine does).

The cheapest version of these are called "back-to-backs", where the back of one terrace adjoins directly to the back of the other. It means no gardens or green space (which in the days of outdoor toilets meant no proper sanitation either). They were banned by a lot of local authorities and often torn down in slum clearances, though there are some still around.

Back-to-backs aren't great, but more usually, terraces have their own small strip of garden, so the backs look like this.

We know that the house Marjorie et al are visiting isn't a back-to-back because it has a back door that they can access.

Cassell's Household Guide recommended in the 1880s that a family with an income of £300 a year should spend around £40 on rent, rates and taxes. If we lowball Marjorie's estimate and keep the same proportions, then a £20/year house is appropriate for a family with an income of around £150.

With a clerk earning a salary in the region of £100, Marjorie is spending several paragraphs complaining about the quality of a house that Robert Holt doesn't have much hope of ever being able to afford.

#the beetle weekly #i know that Bobert also says the houses look like they're falling down #but that's a Marshism that i'm choosing to ignore

[master-jarrus]

So about the bikes separate from the poll just so that post doesn't become all jumbled with photos and I can make sure I am completely up front because I want to be genuine

So bikes are cheaper and cars keep being extremely problematic for my husband and I

We don't have kids and it's just the two of us so two motorcycles are actually a really convenient  and viable option for us

(They are also more eco friendly if you take care of them right but that's for another day)

So no matter what way the vote goes I am getting a bike

However, bikes are still more than a grand and while we can afford it, we can't afford it.

It's one of those weird spots of like yes we can. But everything else will be tight

That's where the vote idea came in from

I am unable to find jobs that are actually hiring

AND my career field of costuming, sewing, etc is dying. No one has these skills anymore unless they are really old or weird gremlins like me. So sewing shops that would hire me are impossible to find

So I thought hey I know how to cosplay and I'm professionally trained (it was actually a certificate I was pursuing they just refused to offer the last 2 classes) in it

Maybe other people would like to see me actually cosplay and watch and learn how to make good quality costumes and props from scratch/as scratch as possible

This happened to coincide with us looking at bikes and an tiny event on tiktok where I got yelled at by cosplayers for saying I wasn't a professional so I decided to ask if people would be interested in a cosplay that combines everything together

The vote isn't over yet but so far (I voted just to see the votes but it doesn't skew the results I promise) everyone seems in favor so unless a bunch of people suddenly vote no I am going to start setting stuff up

In the meantime here are the update bikes we are looking at

2008 Suzuki, owner already responded. They are active duty military and is on a training thing so when they come back we be looking at the bike

The silhouette is already pretty close to Lloyd's main thing I would need to do is paint. And then I would probably change the tires to handle touring (long distances). I may also make the mirrors bigger. This will make my ability to see better and also aids in the cartoonish look

Older bike that might make it harder to find parts if it ever needs a repair

Clean title

*my husband is also active duty and this may give us good negotiating leverage

2018 Suzuki, owner has not responded and some of the pictures appear to be stock photos which makes me a little wary because that's unusual for a non dealership seller

Same cosmetics as the above bike

Newer bike if it needs to repaired we can probably find the parts. But it may require more premium gas

Clean title

2005 Kawasaki Ninja, only recently found it. I will be showing it to my husband when he gets back from work. I haven't contacted the owner yet because my husband is not in the loop yet

Would just need paint, bigger mirrors and the touring tires

Older bike might make repairs difficult

No titled mentioned

Those are the 3 bikes, because the title isn't mentioned on the ninja it will likely get removed.

Unfortunately theft is common in my area and my husband and I have even had a vehicle stolen from us so anything that doesn't have a title is sketchy

Anyways I hope this was informative and not just me rambling and I will be working on that youtube video today if my internet likes me enough

#ninjago #ninjago lloyd #lloyd garmadon #lego ninjago #art #rant #cosplay #lloyd cosplay #lloyd garmadon cosplay #ninjago cosplay #motorcycle #motorcycle cosplay #explanation #oni lloyd #buying a motorcycle #active duty military #my husband is active duty #army wife #autism #nerd #legos #i hope this makes sense

[thatsastepladder]

Global warming is a bad thing in the sense that if it gets hotter it will make certain areas inhospitable for people and animals. and it will make more work in terms of repairs/moving populations. And there is evidence that humans have accelerated the warming from it's normal oscillations... However, you are correct in that these oscillations are normal, and they naturally kill off animals and plants. Also, the impact we see now, is from decades ago, and we won't see the result of our pollution until decades from now.

So, yeah it's a problem, but also it's more pushing up an eventual problem rather than creating a novel one from my understanding of my one climatology class I took. idk if you were actually curious, or being retorical, but it's a subject I find annoying because there's no point in doom and glooming it, but it's also naive to ignore. We ought to try and reduce the pollution, but that would also require countries like India and China to stop burning coal.

See, I don't disagree that fossil fuel usage needs to decrease - however, the currently available alternative energy sources that are often recommended aren't efficient to manufacture and cause more problems than they solve - all, that is, except nuclear. I am 100% in favor of universally switching to nuclear power, but the ideologues who are most vocal about the climate never seem to consider it as an option.

Nuclear is a near-infinite resource that's remarkably efficient in its energy output and far cheaper than either fossil fuels or traditional renewables.

However, where we disagree is that I'm still not convinced that anthropogenic climate change is a thing - I think the dataset we have is far too small and/or unreliable to prove anything. If we had consistent data over the period of centuries that demonstrated a gradual trend of increasing temperatures that could be causally linked to the Industrial Revolution and its consequences, that'd be one thing, but if that exists, I've yet to see it.

And even if it does exist, I don't think being alarmist about the climate and/or wanting to reduce people's quality of life in the name of preserving the climate does the human race a lick of good. Just look at the climate doom predictions that have been proven false as they keep shifting the date that Amsterdam will be underwater forward by decades.

That's not to say there isn't a place for conservationism, however - just not to the degree that the political left in the United States wants to put forward, which seems to be rooted in the philosophy that humanity is separate from and malignant to nature, rather than a part of creation with the assignment to steward and care for it. I've got a lot more respect for Ducks Unlimited than I do any other environmentalist organization, due to the way they view the relationship between man and his environment.

[yersina]

If you’re still looking for fic requests, how about Han Yoojin’s experience with his leg? How becoming newly disabled for the first time and having people look down on him not only because of his F class status, but also because he physically can’t work for that long before needing a break. His struggles to do simple things like walk to the bathroom, or running.

Then there’s the little things he does after regression because even with his leg healed he still operates with that mental pain. Leaning on things he’s next to, being amazed every time he runs after Peace, or a little sigh of relief every time he’s allowed to sit down.

(Sorry for being long winded, it’s just I always feel like canon could go more into Yoojin’s disability and how it affected him, because he had it for years and it definitely shaped how he currently interacts with the world.)

Yoojin sits in his hospital bed and thinks about his options for a long, long time.

See, this wouldn’t normally be an issue. Yoojin is very careful about budgeting his money: he makes sure to look up any existing information on the dungeons he’s planning on going into, he estimates how much he needs for the week or month or however long he’ll need to last until his next dungeon, he makes concessions for any armor or weapons that he’ll need to buy, he adds in whatever recovery items he’ll need afterwards, and he ensures that he meets that threshold while he’s in the dungeon.

And yet, here he is sitting on a hospital bed for the second time in as many months, almost too woozy from pain to properly sort through what his choices are now.

After all, no one pays a hunter that goes down at the beginning of a dungeon.

“Han Yoojin-nim,” a nurse greets, rapping politely on the door. After checking his IV and vitals, she nods to herself. “Your recovery is going as expected,” she says with a smile. Yoojin can’t bring himself to return it. “We usually try to operate as soon as possible, but it says on your records that you’re a hunter.”

“Yes.”

“We generally encourage hunters to purchase healing potions. They heal much more completely than conventional medicine now.”

Yoojin grits his teeth. He knows. “That’s… not an option for me right now,” he admits reluctantly. He bought a new weapon for this dungeon—he’s out of extra funds for at least a month or two.

There’s a downwards twist to her lips as she continues looking down at his file, one that tells Yoojin that she understands the situation that he’s in right now. “Surgery is the only other option then.”

It’s the answer that he expected, the conclusion that he’d come to a few moments before she’d walked into the room, but it’s still not what he wants to hear. “Fine,” he says, staring up at the ceiling. Surgery will be cheaper than a healing potion, even if the recovery period afterwards is much longer. He doesn’t have the money to support himself while he’s recovering. He’ll probably barely have enough to cover the surgery itself.

Fuck.

The nurse nods once perfunctorily. “We’ll schedule you for the surgery right away then. Have you already been briefed on all of the operations that we’ll need to do?”

“Yes.” And hadn’t that been a fun packet to read through. A comminuted break in his lower leg and a broken kneecap. Recovery might take anywhere from a few months to a year. Just his luck.

“If you need anything, you can always hit the call button.” She points to the remote on the bed next to his arm.

“Thank you,” he says, mostly too tired to be any ruder, and watches her shadow leave the room.

After another moment, he slowly reaches up and balls his fists into his eyes, needing the pressure to keep him grounded. Fuck. Fuck.

Someone had left his cellphone on the bedside table, and he can feel its presence mocking him even with his eyes closed and hunched over on the hospital bed. He knows it’s there, and he knows what he has to do. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t even entertain it as a possibility, but he’s genuinely not sure what he’s going to do once he’s out of the hospital.

Oh god, what is he going to do?

After his breathing calms down to a more reasonable tempo, he leaves one hand knuckling his eye ridge and uses the other to fumble for his phone. His thumb pauses over a contact that he hasn’t used in a long, long time.

He taps the contact.

The line rings for much longer than he expects it to. Not that that’s surprising anymore. The line connects. “Hyung, I told you to stop contacting me.”

Ah, the voice that he’s so missed hearing.

“Yoohyun,” he says. He wonders what he must sound like to Yoohyun. He wonders if Yoohyun can even hear the nuance in it anymore. “I need your help.”

The pause that comes is painfully long. Yoojin works on unraveling the hem of his hospital-issued blanket. “What happened?”

Yoojin takes a deep breath. “I was in a dungeon—”

“Didn’t I tell you to stop going into dungeons?” Yoohyun interrupts sharply.

Yoojin glares at the opposite wall. If Yoohyun just listened— “Regardless of whether you did, it’s not any of your business anymore.”

“Doesn’t it become my business when you call me to ask for help?”

This was a mistake. “Never mind,” Yoojin bites out, resigning himself to finding some other avenue of procuring money. He can try taking out a loan at the bank. If nothing else, he’s sure that there are people out there willing to lend to someone dripping with the sheer amount of desperation that Yoojin is.

He hangs up without waiting for any other acknowledgement from Yoohyun and ignores the one attempt at a call back afterwards.

-

Seok Simyeong unfortunately finds him a few hours after his operation. “Han Yoojin-ssi,” he says, like the name leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

Yoojin huffs as much of a laugh as he’s able to. The painkillers make him feel much better, but he’s also so tired. “Seok Simyeong-ssi,” he greets. It’s perhaps the most polite he’s ever been to the man, and it shows in Seok Simyeong’s expression. “Why are you here?”

“The guild leader told me that you called him recently,” he says, still lingering unpleasantly at the entrance of Yoojin’s room. Yoojin hopes that he gets chastised by a nurse for doing so. “I came to find out what you wanted.” And make sure you don’t bother him again goes unsaid.

Yoojin wheezes out another laugh and turns his head towards the window. Maybe if Seok Simyeong had showed up a day or even a few hours ago… Well, there’s no use in dwelling on ‘what if’s. “My surgery went smoothly,” he says, raising an arm as if to say ‘you see?’ “If Yoohyunnie wants to give me a few hundred for the next few months so I can eat, that would be good.” He’s not even being sarcastic. “Maybe throw in another hundred for delivery fees.”

Seok Simyeong presses his lips together like he’s trying to hide a frown. Yoojin wants to tell him that he ought to work on hiding his annoyance better, but that’s not really his problem, is it? “I’ll let him know,” he says stiffly. And then, just like that, he leaves.

Yoojin gives a mental shrug. Well, if he got what he came here for.

Sometime during his physical therapy in the weeks afterwards, Yoojin decides to wander over to the financial administration department of the hospital and finds out that his bill has been transferred to a different party and that any of his out-of-pocket costs will be covered. Yoojin looks down at the paperwork and can’t suppress a laugh.

So, good enough to pay for his hospital costs but not good enough to come and help his hyung with recovery, huh?

-

Recovery takes forever.

Yoojin hates every single second of it. Each moment that he spends languishing in boredom and pain is another moment he feels himself getting weaker and another notch on his anxiety towards going back to dungeoning. He has enough for now to keep himself afloat in relative comfort, but sooner or later he’ll have to return to being a working hunter, and there’s nothing that he dreads more.

Some days, he almost wishes that the pain never stops.

-

“Hey, Yoojin-ssi,” Kim Minchul booms, clapping a heavy hand to Yoojin’s shoulder enthusiastically. Yoojin hisses a curse when his knee buckles under the weight, enough that he stumbles over the even ground outside the dungeon gate. “Whoa, there! Still getting your feet back under you?”

Yoojin gives him a weak smile. There’s no furtive way to rub his knee to ease the ache, so he just leaves it, even though the pain is almost driving him to distraction. His doctor technically hasn’t cleared him for heavy physical activity yet (which, on a scale of fitness, probably lies somewhere below dungeoning), but Yoojin can’t wait any longer. “Not enough to keep me away.”

Kim Minchul beams. “That’s the spirit!” He gives Yoojin another painful slap on the back and wanders off to talk to the other party members.

Kim Minchul is one of the good ones, Yoojin thinks, wobbling over to the nearest chair-height surface and sitting down. It’s why Yoojin chose him as the leader of his first foray back into a dungeon. Yoojin needs someone who won’t mind picking up his slack—or, even if he did mind, be polite enough to not point it out.

The dungeon goes… fine. Painfully. Yoojin is usually flexible enough to switch between the watch group, which checks for any stragglers that the initial dungeon clearing team might have missed, and the mining group, which collects any items that might be valuable, but this time he’s firmly assigned to the mining team. Even that’s harder than it should be, and Yoojin begins lagging behind after an hour of work.

Three hours in, and he feels a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, Yoojin-ssi,” Kim Minchul says with a frown. “I think you should stop.”

Yoojin is drenched in sweat and is wishing desperately for some painkillers, but he can’t stop here. “I can keep going. We still have over half of the job left.” No matter how slow he’s going, it still has to be better than being down a person.

“We do, but I’m worried about your health.” Kim Minchul looks him up and down critically before nodding decisively. “I’m sending you home.” He must spot the look on Yoojin’s face because he adds, “I’ll make sure to send you your share, okay? Just go home and rest.”

So Yoojin goes.

A week later, he gets a check in the mail. It’s definitely less than he should’ve gotten for completing a job of that size, but it’s more than fair for the amount of work that he did. Fair, but still not enough.

Yoojin manages to stick it out for another month before he’s back to dungeoning, this time with someone who’s less likely to step in out of compassion.

-

Yoojin’s leg heals, eventually.

Yoojin’s knee does not.

“Post-traumatic arthritis,” his doctor explains after Yoojin finally gives in and schedules an appointment. “It’s not uncommon after knee injuries. It seems like you have a relatively mild case, thankfully. Try to keep your movement to a comfortable level, and come in again if the pain gets worse.”

And Yoojin tries, he really does. The idea of chronic pain for the rest of his life terrifies him whenever he stops to think about the possibility, and he wants to avoid it if at all possible.

He starts to learn his tells, the way his knee is sometimes stiffer than usual in the morning, or is more prone to buckling under his weight, or pops uncomfortably if he sits or walks for too long. It’s a slow, uncomfortable process, relearning his body like this, but he doesn’t have any other option other than to live with it, so he does.

It gentles, eventually, or maybe it becomes so familiar that it fades to the back of his mind. He learns to budget around his lower income, preferring to err on the side of whole and healthy than richer but debilitated. It sits between his shoulder blades like an itch, the idea that he’s not doing enough, but he grows used to the habit of letting his body decide what’s enough instead of his mind, and he tentatively decides that he’s healthier for it.

-

And then Yoohyun fucking goes and dies for him.

What the fuck.

-

The fact that he literally went back in time doesn’t really sink in until Yoojin’s second day back in the past, when he wakes up and shuffles to the bathroom, and doesn’t get an ache in his knee from standing in the shower.

Even then, he brushes it off as the start to a good day until it’s nearing bed time and he realizes that his knee hasn’t so much as twinged the entire day. Oh, right, he thinks faintly, hand clasped over the knee that fractures three years from now. That hasn’t happened yet.

Still, that moment of enlightenment isn’t enough to break years worth of habits. Yoohyun looks at him concernedly when he chooses to sit instead of stand most of the time, but he never comments on it. Yerim calls him an old man for holding on to the railing whenever they have to go up a flight of stairs. The first time that Yoojin goes for an entire day training (playing with) Peace, he’s genuinely shocked at the end from how good he feels. Tired, but bearable. Normal.

It takes no time at all to accumulate new injuries and wounds to make up for the ones that were washed away by time, but even after weeks and months, he never quite forgets this one that his body doesn’t bear anymore.

#definitelyhuman10 #sina writes #sctir #s classes that i raised #fanfiction #ngl I 100% forgot that was a thing that happened and was like ‘yoojin’s leg???’ when I got this ask #even tho I reference it in like every pre-reg scene that I write for the extra angst #i did a decent amount of research on the medical side of this #not only have I confirmed that I definitely do not want to be a doctor #this is also (probably mostly) medically accurate #probably. #my suspicion is that canon yj either had a comminuted (multiple) leg fracture that healed really well #or he used a really nice healing potion afterwards #for him to be able to brush it off this easily

[thistransient]

- In addition to complaining about it, occasionally I do attempt to improve my lot in life: beyond the new bicycling endeavour, I have also finally extricated myself from my Chinese tutoring (under the guise of it being temporary, but really I think the relationship has run its course), and continued going to the “rope jam” evening I tried out last month. It was very rewarding the second time, persistence pays off! However, it came to light that the host also organises a monthly artist networking night, which at first I felt unqualified for when I looked at the sign-up form (I’m not a professional by any means), but was encouraged to go regardless. Sure. Okay. But one is recommended to hand out business cards? Dress smart casual? Have some sort of established social media? I only made an IG account a few months ago, with the sole purpose of looking at plastic surgeon results (I do NOT need another app to scroll endlessly on). I have nothing resembling a brand name, I do have a lot of imposter feelings because I never went to art school (backstory: my mother is a professional artist so I grew up around it, and was on the verge of applying for an art program for uni, but ended up getting a scholarship from a different place for foreign languages and settled for that instead). I am gonna do this though, and see what comes of it. I’ve had the vague intent for years and years to round up all my projects and make some kind of proper portfolio, maybe I’ll be motivated to follow through at long last?

-  I’ve decided I am really truly done with taking language class just to stay in the country. I am going to leave and come back on a visa-free entry, and optimally find a job within 90 days, but if it takes longer than that, so be it. The destination is...*drumroll*...

Seoul. No I did not see that coming either. With Japan being ruled out on account of flight prices, and my Chinese visa being invalidated, I decided it was down to Bangkok or Manila (and possibly Palawan, as a friend from my Australia days is there visiting family). However, Bangkok simply did not spark joy, and all of the cheapest flights from Manila were red-eye (I refuse to do the sleep deprivation hangovers anymore). At some point it dawned on me that separate budget airlines to and from Incheon could be an option. My adventure/ordeal in Korea is the whole reason for the founding of this blog, and it’s been ten years since I left (without cancelling my phone plan, hopefully that doesn’t cause issues but I have a new passport now anyways). I feel it’s only fitting to return for some closure (emotionally, not of the phone plan), and experience everything anew as my current self (vs. severely depressed while working for a tyrannical hagwon boss). I was a little miffed to discover the government has implemented an “Electronic Travel Authorisation” that one must apply for to enter- it’s not a visa, and yet there’s a fee, but it’s good for two years? Whatever.

I was going to lament my dilemma of whether to keep my current guesthouse booking or try to find something cheaper on Airbnb, but in writing about it I’ve convinced myself it’s better to stick with the guesthouse- I’m not keen by any means on staying in hostel dorms at this point in my life, but I’d still like some measure of socialising, and it’s in a nice location near Gyeongbokgung Palace. I just want to wander around slowly taking blatantly touristy photos of things, and eat some good food!

#hopefully i don't freeze to death with my sub-tropically attuned body #i did post some art on my IG but my friend was like you need to tag this so people can find it #and i was like excuse me no i don't want to be found #the mortifying ordeal of being known and all that #ironically i really like being photographed but idk how to get into weird modeling #like for strange art projects not necessarily clothes #maybe something to write on my wall space of Things to Manifest

[aotopmha]

Today was the first time I saw manga in a local store.

I might be able to start supporting the series I love – my only option used to be ordering from abroad, but delivery is extremely shaky here and the times attempts were made to order stuff from abroad, the goods always ended up lost, whatever the order might have been, so it would simply be a waste of money.

But having manga more broadly available locally makes it possible for me to actually get it.

I saw The Promised Neverland, Demon Slayer, My Hero Academia, Komi Can't Communicate and One Punch Man being sold.

The unfortunate fact was that I didn't see a single first volume.

But I also realised that:

1) I'm pretty happy with just keeping up with most of the Shounen stuff on the manga app. Most Shounen mangaka are wierdos/creeps and even if it's a Shounen I've deeply loved for a long time (like One Piece), I'm content with consuming them once and free online.

2) Most of my favourite series are my faves in anime form.

I'm actually not that much of a manga person.

I prefer the 2003 version of FMA to the manga by a long shot.

I mostly prefer the AoT anime to the AoT manga.

Despite ONE's own unique style, I think I also much prefer the Mob Psycho 100 anime.

My personal favorite anime is still probably Twelve Kingdoms and the source material for that series is a novel.

Almost everything Gen Urobuchi has written is an anime.

Unfortunately, I've yet to see any actual anime Blu-Rays/DVDs locally and most of my favourite stories are actually older ones, so that'd be an even tougher search.

That said, I'd eventually probably pick up that One Punch Man volume I saw.

And I've at least heard good things about Komi and a portion of The Promised Neverland. I like their art.

If I saw them, I think I'd want to pick up Berserk, Vinland Saga, Attack on Titan, Noragami, Tokyo Ghoul, Ancient Magus' Bride and To Your Eternity, off the top of my head.

AoT has me hesitating the most because I think Isayama is the most likely to turn out to be a complete asshole, but his most problematic statements are about 10 years old now and there hasn't been much of a pattern building, either as far as I know.

All I know is that he wants to build a sauna with the money he made. Which is cool by me.

All of that said, this actually prompted me to check on the bigger bookshops in my area and they indeed have a much larger (and cheaper) selection of manga now. I might actually try ordering from there as opposed to any abroad places.

Exciting stuff! I'd have no issue supporting some of the artists/authors who are women in particular.

#Manga #Aotopmha talks

[littlemouserat]

About to vent . So sorry for ‘mopey posting’, but I’m in a bad place rn.

I’m dealing with grief from a recent death that is full of mix emotions cause this person treated me like crap ever since i came out, so it’s a constant mix of sadness, anger and whatever.

 I’ve been sick for three weeks and missed work because of it, but I'm dreading going back because it keeps getting worse and worse. I want to quit, but there are not many job options here (and they are all costumer service so i would just experience the same problems there). Plus my usual (and cheaper) medications are all on back order so i have to pay for the more expensive meds, so being unemployed would not help rn. 

I feel discouraged with acting because i have not acted since November and haven't had an audition since Dec, yet all I see are people from the same agency getting booked left and right. Also, just found out that my agent had a Bruch with a lot of fellow actors from the agency today (even people who been there less time them me). I’m not entitled to be invited to stuff, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling left out and unwanted. 

But not only do I feel left out by my own community, I feel left out by my friends. I’m not mad about them being busy or far away (heck i am too, were adults i get it) I'm just frustrated cause when i try to make contact I get little to no response.  One friend did not respond to me for months! After so many tries and seeing them on social media posting photos with other friends it really hurt. Made me feel like i did something wrong . Thankfully i did manage to get a response from that friend not too long ago, but the lingering thoughts of ‘what did i do wrong?” still remain. 

When I DO try to act positive in life or post something I'm proud of (my art or acting) i get radio silence. Like no one gives a fuck. I’m exhausted and can’t turn to anyone. When I attempt to maybe start to confide in someone i can’t even get a response so what is the point. 

I just feel stuck. Lonely. Unwanted. Useless. Hopeless...

Man, it’s been a hell of a year and it’s only March.

#my post. #also when i told people about my loss only 3 or 4 people said sorry for you loss #next to no one asked me if i was okay not even some of my best friends #i'm sick of feeling like no one cares

[lisxdumbr]

Yeah lately things have been pretty weird with how HappyEle has been doing things and it's like... hmmm. I assume they have a plan and a reason for why they're doing this. But they have also been/are making things easier for us with the way they're handling the events.

We get 50 whistles for each climax event, which I do understand and it makes sense since, well, 100 whistles is usually given for special celebrations/campaigns. And when it comes to the climax events that are supposed to be really important, it makes sense that they're gonna put them all on equal grounds rather than some getting 100 whistles while others get the usual no whistles. And maybe 50 whistles might not seem much, but damn, they will really help and make grinding a little easier and cheaper.

Not to mention that supposedly the album announcements will coincide with the climax events like Crazy:B album does with their climax right now. Personally I am still suspicious of that theory, so we'll have to see if it holds up in the future. Though considering the album *does* contain the climax event song, it's very likely that the theory will hold up. Which will also make things easier for the players since, if they are going to announce a new album every broadcast, it will (in most cases) give a bigger timeframe on knowing what event is coming than the timeframe of a tsukisuta guest announcement. Which means more time to prepare and grind dia. It will keep (f2p) people from pulling on gachas bc they know what event is coming.

No anni cards makes it easier too because nobody will spend dia on it because they simply don't exist.

Extra memorial coins though? I think that's just to give players more of a chance to get the cards they want because it's been some time and theh probably estimated that people are more likely to grind a lot for the climax events, so they want to reward that. Probably also to give potential new players a boost as well since we seem to be at peak enstars or smth.

So??? What *is* HappyEle doing here. Whistles, album, no anni cards. It's all very strange. They're being awfully kind here. Are they swimming in money this much that they can afford to be nice? That they can afford to continue making the reminiscence anime adaptations as well? All without repercussions? It just seems a little too good to be true, all of this. I also don't think they're gonna end the game just yet, but all this generosity makes me very suspicious of their intentions.

As for the climax events themselves? To me they always seemed like they were going to be the events that will give every unit TRUE development. The development that's needed to keep the story going and have new options open up for the writers. Like idk if it's just me and my Trickstar tunnelvision, but it feels like we have gotten nowhere lately in terms of development and story. Of course we have had Yuta's hairstyle change and we have had Ryuseitai's change, but what has really happened?? We continued the godfather plot, but where are they actually going with that now? Speaking as a TrickstarP, what the fuck is going to happen to them. They haven't really done much either, there's been some things dropping, but nothing that really brought them to a changing point. And it's been for a lot of characters that way, dropping some things here and there, but never tying up the loose ends. We have had Obbligato, but there's still a lot more that they can do with it, will they do anything with Kaname? Who knows!

I guess one thing they finally addressed though was Makoto with Portrait. You know, after 7 years. But still, there's a lot more to just conclude or reveal than just Makoto's trauma. And speaking of Portrait! It's been 7 months since then. It's been 7 months since our first and only look back scout. The scouts that were supposed to happen periodically like circle scouts. Well I have yet to see it!

Though I would assume that they are cooking up those look back scouts as much as they are cooking up those climax events... I hope...

But you know what worries me? All of these climax events are going to be this rotation. I worry that there's going to be sooo much happening so shortly after another that everyone is going to explode with information. You could say that the SS was also a lot, but those were 8 events, climax is going to be EVERY unit which is 14 fricking events. 14.

Everything has been so weird lately and I trust HappyEle is just cooking a 14 course meal for us, but part of me just wonders what the actual plan is.

.

#i didn't know about the whistles actually. huh #anyway yeah #also i was the first one to mention that i don't think the game will finish because they did say they have things prepared for the future #but i guess that got buried in my other asks #my arguments went over a possible change. not an ending #❝ mail !! #panda !! 🐼

[sylvctica]

watching clip studio get super ratio’d by making CSP V2+ updates subscription based.

TL;DR

V1 is fine. Brushes and assets are not affected. Updates will stop after a while, but you don't need to pay subs. You will not lose V1 if you have it.

V2 is subscription IF you want updates, but you can buy a permanent one time license to have the base program.

V3 will have v2+updates as one time license.

( info source )

infograph below for posterity’s sake too, but to expand on these points ... 

if you have CSP bought already you can keep using V1 forever since it’s a forever license, you can get a V2 license ( which is also a forever license ), but you won’t get any ongoing big feature updates unless you get their subscription model, though you will have the V2 base program and the doodads / features that will come with it and bug fixes that come out.

cost is unknown as of now, the sub / update pass is for the whole year but no one’s sure what the price will be yet, it is mentioned that it would be cheaper than their current monthly plan ( which is $4.49 monthly, and $24.99 annually ).

you can buy only the sub to still get access to V2 ( and future versions ), you just won’t have it permanently unless you get the license as well. unsubbing means that any updates will become unavailable, and you will need to return to your last permanent version ( may it be V1 or base V2 if you bought the license for it ).

V3 will also be a one time permanent license that includes all of V2 + those updates.

costs for perm licenses will still be around the same as they are now ( $50 base for normal non-EX version, which is $25 on discount ) as they said they don’t plan to make any significant changes.

this twit thread covers all the info with this new model being broken down step by step + a summary + an additional post for more info on what it all means.

regardless, it’s up to peeps to decide how they feel about it and not to rush into decisions as the sub is optional, we don’t know what the new features will be, and those updates and features will come to the V3 version as well more than likely, i just thought i’d bring it over since it seems to be primarily on twit at the moment ( at least I haven’t seen talk of it on my personal blog ). 

V1 is still all good on its own and will be until V3 ( support-wise ) so personally I’ll wait and see how they do V3 and if it’s worth buying the license again.

#OOC // AID TALKS.