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#android mumbo
shepscapades · 7 months
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For those begging for dbhc mumbo angst, unfortunately (?) this is just about as bad as it gets for him (as far as I have planned, anyway). All I can think of when it comes to dbhc mumbo is how silly goofy pathetic he is so for now he gets spared from serious angst <3
(doc, on the other hand, gets closer and closer to combusting the more he gets to know everyone)
also, a bonus below the cut bc scar is no better :]
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diss0lvd · 2 years
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mumbo: my name is mumbo. i’m the android sent by saharalife.
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yyuhmy · 9 months
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was thinking about dbh and was struck with the idea of android!mumbo. knew i had to draw it immediately
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halfapersob · 1 year
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@stitchthesewords @made-nondescript
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hezzabeth · 5 months
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"You brought the baby back," Nani remarked with surprise the moment Sugafana and Jay got back. Nani then gasped with surprise when Sugafana placed the baby on the bed.
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"That’s a different baby; that baby looks like Lakshmi," she remarked.
"It’s not," Jay said, and Sugafana sat down to explain exactly what had happened.
"Oh Bhagwan! You only went and adopted the lost princess's baby," hissed Nani.
"I did?" Sugafana asked, shooting Jay a questioning look, who merely shrugged.
"The news is all over the camp; her husband accused her of having an affair with another man. She’s dead, and the maternity droid she owned vanished," Nani cried as she grabbed a bag from the pile of laundry and began to dramatically pack everything.
"This could all be a big coincidence," Sugafana protested weakly as she sat down next to baby Dityaa.
Baby Dityaa began to cry, and suddenly Sugafana felt a peculiar painful sensation in her chest.
"Coincidence? You said the baby's parents are classified! She had green hair! An assassin came after you," Nani hissed as she wrapped the creature up in two old shirts.
Baby Dityaa began to nuzzle Sugafana’s shirt.
"Your Nani is probably right; there have been far too many strange occurrences," Jay replied, and Sugafana gasped.
"There’s milk coming out of me," she said, gesturing to her chest.
"Of course there is! You changed the baby's DNA, and now you’re her mother! Feed her," Nani said gently as she tugged down Sugafana's shirt, much to her embarrassment.
Baby Dityaa latched furiously onto Sugafana, sucking away.
"I didn’t know it worked that way," Sugafana muttered as she grabbed a blanket, trying to cover herself up.
"You don’t need to be embarrassed; I’ve been breastfeeding hundreds of times," Jay assured her.
"I’m going to start packing; when you’re done, I’ll arrange for us to go to BritinduSarvadharma," Nani said.
"Brigindusarvadharma is on the other side of the planet!" Jay gasped.
"It is also big and easy to get lost in; the population is almost a billion people," Sugafana mused.
"How would we get in? They’ll turn us away at the border," Jay said, and Nani shook her head.
"I know people," Nani said with a small shrug.
"Your friends' grandchildren, who are all smugglers! They’ll make us teleport hidden in empty oil drums! We could end up with mixed-up DNA," Sugafana pointed out.
"And do you have a better use? This place is filled with gossips! People here know that you and Jay are not romantic partners who created a baby," Nani pointed out, and Sugafana sighed.
"I guess you’re right," she admitted.
Baby Dityaa finally finished eating, and with a small sigh, she fell into a deep sleep.
Day six
Suddenly, there was the distant sound of someone screaming, and Sugafana sighed with frustration.
"Oh, what now?" Sugafana grumbled.
"Probably someone fighting over what play the camp actors will put on tomorrow," Jay said knowingly.
"I don’t know why they bother fighting about it; they always end up performing that ancient folktale about Mister Burns," Nani said as she pulled down the tapestry, shoving it into the bag.
Another scream, the pounding of footsteps.
"I need to pack," Jay said.
"You do?" Sugafana asked, faintly confused.
"I’m coming with you! I’m Dityaa’s fake father, and I can’t leave you," Jay said firmly.
"You can’t leave me?" Sugafana asked nervously.
"Oh, for goodness' sake, girl, the boy is clearly in love with you," Nani cried with frustration, and Sugafana glanced at Jay, who was now staring at the floor.
"Nani, can you take the baby out for a minute and give us some privacy?" Sugafana asked, and Nani nodded.
"No kissing unless he asks you to marry him," Nani said firmly.
For a second, everything was quiet and fragile. Sugafana felt like she was watching a piece of fine china flying through the air, and if she moved the wrong way, it would crash into a million pieces.
"You can sit next to me, Jay," she said, and he smiled, a tiny relieved smile.
Sugafana had caught the plate.
"So, you're in love with me then?" Sugafana asked.
"You're intelligent, funny in a very dry way, and kind! Who wouldn't love that?" Jay asked with a small smile, and Sugafana reached towards Jay, her hand hovering above his hand.
"I am fond of you, Jay... it's just, well," Sugafana began.
"Well, what?"
"I had a girlfriend during the beginning of the war; we only dated for a few weeks, but she exploded," Sugafana admitted, squeezing her eyes shut.
"Exploded?" Jay stammered.
"Then when I first arrived at the camps, I was with a man named Paul; he was fun, but then he ran off to join the northern resistance," Sugafana added, and then she glanced up at Jay. It was easy not to grow romantically attached when all she saw was a sliver of eyes. Now, however, she found herself taking in the elegant slope of his long nose, his surprisingly full lips, and the way his short beard surprisingly framed his jawline. Charismatic, Jay looked charismatic. Of course, he did.
"Nani thinks I'm cursed," Sugafana added.
"I thought you didn't believe in anything," Jay reminded her.
"True," she admitted before pulling his face towards hers. The kiss felt like a shock of static electricity against her lips. Jay's lips moved against hers, and the shock turned into a vibrating purr, traveling right down her knees. Jay's lips felt so very warm and soft, aching in a way Sugafana didn't even know she was missing. Sugafana pulled away slightly dazed and then nodded.
"Your Nani said no kissing before a wedding," Jay stammered, sounding incredibly flustered.
"I had to make sure we had chemistry before making a decision," Sugafana pointed out logically.
"I think we do," Jay replied.
"Yes, surprisingly I agree," Sugafana admitted with a firm nod.
"Does this mean I can come?" He asked, and Sugafana nodded.
"And can I kiss you again?" He asked, and Sugafana nodded again.
"What were you two doing in there for so long? I've been waiting for almost an hour," grumbled Nani.
"An hour? Really?" Sugafana asked dubiously as she patted her hair back into place.
"Alright, half an hour," Nani conceded before nodding down the cave's dark corridor.
"Six people have already run past! I'm guessing a fight has broken out in the soup kitchen again," Nani said as Sugafana took back Dityaa.
"Sometimes I think we need an elected official to run this place; every time there's a fight, we end up having to scrub blood off the walls," Sugafana whispered as they walked through the dark.
"What, like a warlord?" Jay asked.
"No! More like a group of sensible, practical people who make good decisions based on everyone's needs," Sugafana said, and Nani snorted.
"Sounds like a silly fairytale to me," Nani said, and Jay suddenly squawked as he tripped in the dark.
"Nani, did you pack the torch?" Sugafana asked.
"Of course! But we don't want to waste the battery," Nani pointed out.
"We also don't want Jay to trip over and break his neck before we even get to his dorm," Sugafana pointed out.
Grumbling to herself, Nani rummaged about in her sack, and with a flash, the tunnel filled with a faint warm light. Jay gasped, the baby whimpered, and Nani swore.
A dead body was lying on the stone floor. An actual bloody dead body.
Sugafana merely choked a little before composing herself. It wasn't the first dead body she'd seen, and it probably wouldn't be her last.
"Appliances?" Nani whispered, and Sugafana shook her head, still feeling sick.
"Appliances vaporize humans; they don't leave a mess," Sugafana whispered.
The body was dressed in torn black pants, no shoes, and a loose grey shirt. Its hands were missing, blood trickling from the wrists.
"What the… " Jay gagged, and Sugafana stepped over the body, trying to avoid getting blood on her pants.
"We need to keep moving," Sugafana whispered as she rubbed baby Dityaa's head.
Silence didn't exist in the camp. Even in the dead of the night, the corridors and caves were filled with the constant thrum of people. Snow farmers getting ready to meet the Martian sunrise. Small children running around the corridors while their parents slept on the ground. Baba's thieves and traders drinking long into the night. Sugafana would often fall asleep to the distant sound of their cave neighbor two doors down singing.
Silence didn't exist.
Until now.
"Raiders?" Jay whispered as they approached the camp's nursery. Many people arrived at the camp either pregnant or carrying tiny babies. A couple of years ago, an enterprising flash named Pooja noticed this and created the nursery. It was really no more than a medium-sized enclave with a dozen cardboard boxes turned into cribs. The nursery's curtain had been ripped aside.
"Do you think we should look?" Jay whispered.
"Normally there's at least one baby crying in here," Sugafana replied, and Nani held the torch up. All the baby boxes were empty, and the attending nurse was lying dead on the floor.
"That's Arya's girl Priya; she's only seventeen," Nani cried, leaning down towards the girl.
"Her hands are also missing," Sugafana realized, her voice catching in her throat.
Jay leaned down, placing his hands gently on Nani's shoulder.
"This has to be something new, something new and terrible," Nani choked.
"My sleeping pod has a lock on it; we should all be able to squeeze inside," Jay said gently, helping Nani to her feet.
"And then what?" Hissed Sugafana.
"This thing is probably like a monsoon; it will storm past, and we can leave when it's gone," Jay whispered, and Sugafana shivered. Other people, braver people, would have insisted on finding the monster in the dark. They would have fought it to the death, saving those who remained. Other people, however, were not balancing a baby in their arms while standing next to a sixty-three-year-old lady with weak legs.
"Ok, we'll hide," Sugafana whispered.
Sugafana and Nani had only spent a week in the dorms before the claustrophobia made them flee. The sleeping pods were no more than two by two feet dingy gray boxes with locks on the inside. Sugafana had ended up trading her late mother's pearl earrings to secure their cave.
"Chi chi! I can smell them from here," Nani grumbled.
"Be polite," hissed Sugafana, although Nani was right. Even in the dark, it was easy to follow the stench of old cooking, human sweat, and volcanic sulfur.
"I keep my pod very clean," Jay said defensively.
"Of course you do," whispered Sugafana.
There was an edge to the smell this time.
Sugafana had caught the plate.
"So, you're in love with me then?" Sugafana asked.
"You're intelligent, funny in a very dry way, and kind! Who wouldn't love that?" Jay asked with a small smile, and Sugafana reached towards Jay, her hand hovering above his.
"I am fond of you, Jay... it's just, well," Sugafana began.
"Well, what?"
"I had a girlfriend during the beginning of the war; we only dated for a few weeks, but she exploded," Sugafana admitted, squeezing her eyes shut.
"Exploded?" Jay stammered.
"Then when I first arrived at the camps, I was with a man named Paul; he was fun, but then he ran off to join the northern resistance," Sugafana added, and then she glanced up at Jay. It was easy not to grow romantically attached when all she saw was a sliver of his eyes. Now, however, she found herself taking in the elegant slope of his long nose, his surprisingly full lips, and the way his short beard framed his jawline. Charismatic; Jay looked charismatic. Of course, he did.
"Nani thinks I'm cursed," Sugafana added.
"I thought you didn't believe in anything," Jay reminded her.
"True," she admitted before pulling his face towards hers. The kiss felt like a shock of static electricity against her lips. Jay's lips moved against hers, and the shock turned into a vibrating purr, traveling right down her knees. Jay's lips felt so very warm and soft, aching in a way Sugafana didn't even know she was missing. Sugafana pulled away slightly dazed and then nodded.
"Your Nani said no kissing before a wedding," Jay stammered, sounding incredibly flustered.
"I had to make sure we had chemistry before making a decision," Sugafana pointed out logically.
"I think we do," Jay replied.
"Yes, surprisingly I agree," Sugafana admitted with a firm nod.
"Does this mean I can come?" He asked, and Sugafana nodded.
"And can I kiss you again?" He asked, and Sugafana nodded again.
"What were you two doing in there for so long? I've been waiting for almost an hour," grumbled Nani.
"An hour? Really?" Sugafana asked dubiously as she patted her hair back into place.
"Alright, half an hour," Nani conceded before nodding down the cave's dark corridor.
"Six people have already run past! I'm guessing a fight has broken out in the soup kitchen again," Nani said as Sugafana took back Dityaa.
"Sometimes I think we need an elected official to run this place; every time there's a fight, we end up having to scrub blood off the walls," Sugafana whispered as they walked through the dark.
"What, like a warlord?" Jay asked.
"No! More like a group of sensible, practical people who make good decisions based on everyone's needs," Sugafana said, and Nani snorted.
"Sounds like a silly fairytale to me," Nani said, and Jay suddenly squawked as he tripped in the dark.
"Nani, did you pack the torch?" Sugafana asked.
"Of course! But we don't want to waste the battery," Nani pointed out.
"We also don't want Jay to trip over and break his neck before we even get to his dorm," Sugafana pointed out.
Grumbling to herself, Nani rummaged about in her sack, and with a flash, the tunnel filled with a faint warm light. Jay gasped, the baby whimpered, and Nani swore.
A dead body was lying on the stone floor. An actual bloody dead body.
Sugafana merely choked a little before composing herself. It wasn't the first dead body she'd seen, and it probably wouldn't be her last.
"Appliances?" Nani whispered, and Sugafana shook her head, still feeling sick.
"Appliances vaporize humans; they don't leave a mess," Sugafana whispered.
The body was dressed in torn black pants, no shoes, and a loose grey shirt. Its hands were missing, blood trickling from the wrists.
"What the… " Jay gagged, and Sugafana stepped over the body, trying to avoid getting blood on her pants.
"We need to keep moving," Sugafana whispered as she rubbed baby Dityaa's head.
Silence didn't exist in the camp. Even in the dead of the night, the corridors and caves were filled with the constant thrum of people. Snow farmers getting ready to meet the Martian sunrise. Small children running around the corridors while their parents slept on the ground. Baba's thieves and traders drinking long into the night. Sugafana would often fall asleep to the distant sound of their cave neighbor two doors down singing.
Silence didn't exist.
Until now.
"Raiders?" Jay whispered as they approached the camp's nursery. Many people arrived at the camp either pregnant or carrying tiny babies. A couple of years ago, an enterprising flash named Pooja noticed this and created the nursery. It was really no more than a medium-sized enclave with a dozen cardboard boxes turned into cribs. The nursery's curtain had been ripped aside.
"Do you think we should look?" Jay whispered.
"Normally there's at least one baby crying in here," Sugafana replied, and Nani held the torch up. All the baby boxes were empty, and the attending nurse was lying dead on the floor.
"That's Arya's girl Priya; she's only seventeen," Nani cried, leaning down towards the girl.
"Her hands are also missing," Sugafana realized, her voice catching in her throat.
Jay leaned down, placing his hands gently on Nani's shoulder.
"This has to be something new, something new and terrible," Nani choked.
"My sleeping pod has a lock on it; we should all be able to squeeze inside," Jay said gently, helping Nani to her feet.
"And then what?" Hissed Sugafana.
"This thing is probably like a monsoon; it will storm past, and we can leave when it's gone," Jay whispered, and Sugafana shivered. Other people, braver people, would have insisted on finding the monster in the dark. They would have fought it to the death, saving those who remained. Other people, however, were not balancing a baby in their arms while standing next to a sixty-three-year-old lady with weak legs.
"Ok, we'll hide," Sugafana whispered.
Sugafana and Nani had only spent a week in the dorms before the claustrophobia made them flee. The sleeping pods were no more than two by two feet dingy gray boxes with locks on the inside. Sugafana had ended up trading her late mother's pearl earrings to secure their cave.
"Chi chi! I can smell them from here," Nani grumbled.
"Be polite," hissed Sugafana, although Nani was right. Even in the dark, it was easy to follow the stench of old cooking, human sweat, and volcanic sulfur.
"I keep my pod very clean," Jay said defensively.
"Of course you do," whispered Sugafana.
There was an edge to the smell this time.
There was an edge to the smell this time. A coppery tangy smell.
"I think the monster's already been here," whispered Nani.
"Let me have the torch," Jay said kindly as they reached the opening of the massive cavern that served as the first dormitory. Jani moved the torch to the side of the cave and fumbled about as if searching for something. Suddenly, the cave filled with light as the solar-powered lamps hung from the ceiling switched on.
"Well, I don't see any blood or bodies," Sugafana said as Baby Dityaa woke up, staring intently at her hair.
"Thank the Lord! Let's hide; my feet are killing me," grumbled Nani.
Jani led them through a maze of sleeping pods stacked up on top of each other. Some locked, some empty with the doors swinging open.
"Is this normal?" Sugafana asked.
"No, normally at this time of the night, all the doors are open, and people are gambling," Jay said as he stopped in front of one of the pods. Someone had drawn all over the surface, flowering intricate patterns.
"This is the art you're always talking about; it's very nice," Sugafana said knowingly.
"I'm not that interested in gambling," Jay said with a small shrug.
"And where did you get the dark reddish-brown paint?" Nani asked as Jay pulled a small screw out of his shirt pocket.
"Dark red-brown paint?" Jay asked, sounding faintly confused as he undid the lock. Something made a metallic clicking sound behind the door. A golden metallic hand, its fingertips covered in old blood, emerged from the pod, yanking the door open.
"The droid! It's alive!" screamed. The maternity droid tumbled out of the sleeping pod, landing on the floor in a jumble. Slowly, its body making faint clicking sounds, it stood up. Its belly was still wide open and covered in someone else's blood. Slowly, the droid looked around before its glowing red eyes fell on Sugafana.
"Oh, delightful! That little man was right! You do have my baby," the android said in a proud man's voice. It was the voice of a king.
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introboy · 4 months
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So so excited to share my @mcytblrholidayexchange gift for @follow-the-compass-home! My concept was to combine a bunch of prompts together into one AU.
The premise is a modern-fantasy roommate situation where Tango, Bdubs, and Etho live together in an apartment. The only issue is that none of them are human, but they're all trying desperately to blend in, even though they don't really understand humanity as a concept.
More information can be found below the cut, and an introductory fic snippet can be found here (x)!
Downstairs Neighbors AU
Prompts used as inspiration:
Focus on Tango, Etho, and Bdubs
Include Boatem
Story told from Grian's perspective
Hybrid/inhuman AU
Angst with a happy ending
Emphasis on character dynamics
Here's a summary!!!
Tango, Etho, and Bdubs found each other by looking for roommates on Craigslist. They live in a 4-bedroom apartment together.
Tango is a spirit who wanted to interact with the world in a physical sense, so he built himself a body. He's basically just a ghost possessing an android (but unlike ghosts, he was never alive; he came into being as a fully-formed spirit). He doesn't adhere to normal bodily necessities like food, water, or sleep, which is convenient but also heavily concerning from an outsider's perspective.
Etho is a specific kind of shapeshifter called a mimic. He doesn't have a true form, but can copy the shape and mannerisms of most living creatures. The only constant across all of his appearances is a scarred left eye and white hair. Unfortunately, it takes practice to nail specific species characteristics, so he often forgets what he's supposed to look like and falls into uncanny valley. He wears a mask to cover his more noticable facial slipups.
Bdubs is some sort of plant creature (he doesn't really understand it himself). He has a perfect internal clock and sleeps, without fail, for 12 hours every night. He spends a lot of time in the unoccupied bedroom-- he uses it as a makeshift greenhouse, and it's filled with grow lights and humidifiers. He loves taking care of houseplants, but it's also a cover for him to spend time under the grow lights. Without enough light & water he gets lethargic.
Bdubs, Etho, and Tango, henceforth referred to as BET, all assume that the others are human. But since none of them know how to act human, they continuously pick up stranger and stranger habits from each other.
BET are close friends with Impulse & Skizzleman, who live together across the hall. Their upstairs neighbors are Grian, Pearl, Mumbo, and Scar, who are also besties with Imp & Skizz. BET and Boatem don't know each other well, but Grian especially thinks his neighbors are really odd.
Like BET, Grian is not human, and neither are the rest of his roommates. But they all know about each other, and Grian especially is really good at knowing how to act natural in public places. He's an avian shapeshifter, who can take the form of either a scarlet macaw or a human. Unlike Etho, both forms come equally naturally to Grian, and the shapeshifting process is a lot easier for him.
(Imp & Skizz are not human either-- they are a demon and an angel respectively. But, like Grian, they're really good at blending in when in public.)
One day, Grian gets injured on a flight and accidentally ends up on BET's balcony instead of his own. He's too disoriented to shift back into his human form or fly away, so Bdubs and Etho find him outside their door. Tango calls Impulse over in the hopes that he knows how to fix the random-injured-parrot crisis, but the only result is that Grian and Impulse start to truly take note of how strange their neighbors' living situation is. Incidents like the one pictured above arise (i.e. everyone finding out that there is not a singular scrap of food to be found in the entire apartment).
Ok that's all the rambling I'll do in this post, but I hope you enjoyed! Happy holidays!!
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hmshermitcraft · 2 months
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When Mumbo found a broken down, ruined Android in the forest at 16, he decided to help them and fix them up.
Almost 12 years later, Iskall found out that Mumbo redesigned them to look exactly like his type.
Mumbo was always warned about creating such advanced AI for Iskall. How it could turn on him, become destructive, blah blah blah.
Mumbo doesn't think any of them considered said AI bullying him for his tastes as a teenager every opportunity he gets. Iskall is never going to let him live this down. This is the worst.
Mumbo just has to make sure Iskall never finds out that his type hasn't changed since...
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stitchthesewords · 8 months
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Pragmatic Development In ConCorp Testing Protocols Chapter 2
Word Count: 5,096
Tags: Portal AU, eventual relationship, Injuries, mildly freaky android stuff like turning their heads all the way around or telescoping their necks out
Characters and Relationship: Grian, Mumbo Jumbo, GoodTimesWithScar - Mumscarian
Summary:
The companion cube buzzed slightly. Just slightly. Not enough that it was ever noticeable until now, two hands pressed into its sooty faces as Grian stared at the big gaping hole in what was once a parking lot. He brushed away some debris and crouched, staring into ConCorp. Staring into ConCorp again. What was he doing? A HC X Portal Au, taking place in the wake of the end of Portal 2. Or, at least, a version of the end of Portal 2.
In this chapter: Grian and ScaR get back to testing, but quickly learn that things are not as they once were. ConCorp is calm, ConCorp is unforgiving, and Grian is human.
Taglist below!
@atherix @braxiatel @greatbridge @ellalily @lesbianwilby @em-mermaid @loombarrow @sparksnevadas @aceofthefandoms @halfapersob
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solidwater05 · 26 days
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Hermitcraft Enjoyer spotted
Give me yuor Ramblings
(/nf ofc)
Yay!! Here's my nonhuman headcanons for everyone I watch!
Mumbo is an android! He's completely human-passing, he tends to do things the 'human way' (building things instead of modifying himself), and he has never ever mentioned that he's a robot, so everyone thinks that he's a really weird human. He does not know of human concepts like 'fear of death'. Nobody understands why he never got redstone poisoning despite his complete lack of PPE. It's just because he's not organic
Grian is a parrot avian ofc but he also gained cod-like traits when he started spending more time near the ocean. It happens
Gem was human at the start of the season, but she's an anglerfish hybrid now! Same reason as Grian
Doc being a creeper goat cyborg thing is canon so I'll share a little hc on his cybernetic enhancements. He can detect redstone signals! It allows him to locate problems with his machines without having to look around, saves a lot of time. A side effect of this is that he knows that Mumbo is an android because he can detect his redstone!
Etho is a phantom hybrid! He needs very little sleep and he still manages to be sleep deprived. He doesn't use fire res potions to protect himself from the sun, instead he wears his clothes over his wings. He says that it works perfectly, so why would he change it?
Tango. blaze. we all know this one. He doesn't take any special precautions around water. In fact, he forgets that water is a thing until it starts raining and then he screams really loud about it
Pearl is a shapeshifting salmon! She enjoys her human form, but she will correct anyone who calls her a human because she's actually a fish
Joel is a moth hybrid. Yes, he does like lights. Just look at his base!
Well Cub being a vex isn't exactly a headcanon is it. Specifically I hc that he used to be human and became a vex later on, while Scar was born a vex! (the cannibalism is unrelated to this. there's just something wrong with him)
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naceless · 6 months
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Personal belief that mumbo jumbo USED to be human but accidentally transferred his conscious into an android body and was too awkward to bring the problem up to anybody so just kinda pretended to still be human and like. Everyone noticed that he was a robot now of course. Obviously. But it'd be rude to make a big deal out of it so no one says anything and now it's been so long it'd be way too awkward for mumbo to bring up that actually he's been a robot for quite a while now and he's quite convinced he has everyone fooled because no ones ever said anything abt it
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shepscapades · 8 months
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What if. What if I said I was thinking about them again
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perjuryfan · 3 months
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what your desktop browser of choice says about you
google chrome: you either started using it due to its popularity or your first device was a chromebook/android phone. you've thought about switching a few times but it sounds like a pain. you don't think about this browser thing much at all
microsoft edge: why should you download something else? it works fine. might've been a bit weird at first, but you've gotten used to it. a browser's a browser.
safari: same as edge, but you buy apple products. who hurt you? did you get peer pressured into the apple ecosystem? or do you have more money than sense?
firefox: you read some posts about how firefox is better and actually made the switch. it wasn't that hard. every night you pray to the ublock origin devs.
internet explorer: you hate change. you haven't even upgraded to windows 10. nobody's taking what you're used to away from you.
opera: you saw some ads for an alternative browser and actually made the switch. it looks nice, you guess. you don't care much about the whole security privacy mumbo jumbo firefox fans talk about, you just think it's neat.
brave: you care about the privacy stuff, but firefox wasn't cool and hip enough for you. chromium isn't a dealbreaker. you might be a cryptobro or a libertarian.
vivaldi: you will design the perfect browser from scratch. you will assemble the perfect aesthetic experience to maximize your enjoyment and productivity. the gods will weep once your masterpiece is finished.
a browser not listed here: well aren't you a little hipster. you love fucking around with your computer to make it just right. you haven't gotten an update in 2 years.
opera gx: Do not interact with me.
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hermitblurbs · 10 months
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A continuation of my Steampunk AU (7)!
Grian had grown to accept his weird attachment to Scar, if with a bit of hesitance. The other was good conversation in a town where everyone else was incredibly boring. It’s why he stuck around with broken machines so often; there’s nothing to predict about them.
Scar was fixed up, no sign of glitches like in N.P.C or Grumbot, and Grian couldn’t predict him if his life depended on it. Whatever AI in the bot’s brain was fascinating, and the strange logic it followed always managed to keep him enraptured.
It quelled that bored drawl in the back of his mind, on a good day.
Today, even with Scar by his side, seemed to crawl along at a slug’s pace.
The wastes were turning up useless scrap after useless scrap, Mumbo too busy with a commission to entertain him, even the ticking of his wings was the same as ever. They didn’t even ache. At least then, complaining or not, wouldn’t leave him bored.
If he’s being honest, he probably shouldn’t have gone out to scavenge.
Days like these are best kept in line by staying in a place with overarching rules, a guarantee he won’t overstep anything and end up missing more than a chunk of wing.
The wastes don’t have that. They have metal, radiation, rust, and scavengers.
“This is a lot further than we’ve travelled before,” remarks Scar, frayed gas mask making him seem bizarrely human, bizarrely out of place in one of mumbo’s white button up and a false corset. He knows by the whirl of Scar’s fans, that the green metal would be warm to the touch.
He climbs the hill anyway.
There’s the clanging of other scavengers, only two of them at the foot, and they’re pulling something out of a shaking pile that’s large and expensive.
“Ooh, a lucky find for those fellas!”
Grian says nothing in return.
His wings click. Once. Twice.
Take it from them.
He widens his stance, careful not to make a sound on copper and aluminum and iron.
Imagine how excited Mumbo will be.
His wings spread like butter across the sky.
And he jumps. Dives, towards the two.
What should’ve happened was a simple wrap of his hands around the machinery and an arc back into the air and away. What should’ve happened would have been enough to satiate his boredom. What should’ve happened, is that he should have been faster.
What did happen, is that he gets his hands curled around the machine. He’s on the upbeat of his wings, when a hand wraps around his ankle.
He registers the impact. He registers the stars. He registers how the metal crumples beneath him, denting and damaging the scrap.
And then he registers the pain of being slammed into the ground.
“What the fuck, you little asshat!” The nearest one sounds. Their mask is colored the same white as the gleam of a jawbone. They raise a foot and stomp on Grian’s hand, grinding it into the dry dirt with the heel.
He has half a mind to scan the hills for Scar, but the android is lost among the shadows and the piles of scrap encircling them. His heart sinks.
“Hey, dude!” Comes the second one—their mask is layered to look like a growing of fungus. “Take it easy, they’re already down.”
“Their mask is cool,” remarks the third, the one his missed and the one who grabbed him. Their mask is simple and plain, a stark contrast to his own, hooked in the shape of a beak. They’re dressed in dark browns, almost blended completely against the ground.
“That doesn’t matter, they tried to *steal* from us. Why I oughta—“ And they grab his wing.
Something in his mind goes a little haywire. The bones there are fragile, half-molded to metal and muscle, and he does his darnedest to bash their faces in with the prosthetic.
He manages to clip Shrooms across the temple, drawing his knife and lunging at another, but it doesn’t last long. It was never going to last long, three against one. But he gets some good hits in, spills enough blood.
He ends up fully pinned, a boot against his back and his racing heartbeat prominant in the pressure from a steady, constant pull of his wing in a scavenger’s hand.
“What’s going on here?” Comes a familiar voice, and Grian feels like crying. If they leave him alive, at least Scar can get him back to Mumbo.
“Are you with this vulture,” one of them spits.
“I am, and I promised he’s very much learned his lesson—“
“He sliced my arm open,” they growl. And yeah, he did do that. The drip of blood fills him with a cruel pride that they’re going to need to go home after this and waste the day away.
“You deserved it,” he calls back, and is rewarded with a particularly painful tug on his wing.
“Fellas, I promise you that if you let him go, you’ll never see us ever again. Heck, we’ll even leave you little things for yourself to improve profits! How’s that for a deal?”
“How about instead we slice his throat?” And he knows it’s a bluff. Killing someone over a single piece of scrap is ludicrous, and these guys don’t seem insane enough to do it to a first-time offender. They’re farther than typical from their bubble, and while Grian’s had his own fair share of death threats they’ve only ever been serious in total nowhere. It’s got to be a bluff. It has to be.
He’s going to die if it’s not.
Grian looks up, eyes following metal legs to Scar’s face to find the other staring directly at him.
He doesn’t know what Scar sees in him, but he hears his fan kick on just beneath the noise of the wastes.
The android steps forward, steps closer. Grian can’t tell a single thing about what he’s thinking, but he knows his neck is starting to ache from the angle he’s keeping it at to keep Scar in view. Something about the quiet won’t let him look away. Scar rears back a fist.
And then he hears the crack of bone.
The weight falls off his back, his wing, and Grian is left staring into empty space as Scar takes measured steps behind him, and out of view.
The impacts behind him begins to sound wet, like the repeated thump of a hammer against drowned wood.
Grian has dabbled a bit, long before he met Mumbo, in engineering himself. It was more buildings than robots, trains instead of anything that breathes. But there’s one thing he still remembers, clear as day.
A robot may not injure a human being.
So what does that make the thing in front of him?
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hezzabeth · 5 months
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An hour later, they reached the end of the market, weighed down with packages and a bag filled with jars of creation sand.
"Did we really need the ragdoll?" Sugafana asked Jay.
"Of course! Every child needs a special cuddly toy when they're born," Jay insisted.
"And the reading tablet?" Sugafana asked, referring to the old book of fairytales? It cost an entire bag of snow," Sugafana pointed out. Actual paper books were incredibly rare.
"The lady selling it looked like she hadn't had a decent meal in weeks! And babies who are read to grow up smarter," Jay explained.
"I’m sure she’s perfectly smart! Rich people always pay extra for intelligence upgrades," Sugafana pointed out as the baby squirmed against her chest.
"We should have bought her the pink princess dress," Jay said, looking down at the baby who was now wrapped up in a plain blue blanket.
"It was filthy and five sizes too big! The man was charging far too much for it," Sugafana grumbled.
Two people were leaning against Sugafana’s transport pod. Sugafana had found the pod abandoned and half destroyed in the snowfields during the first year of the appliance war. It had taken six months to repair. When she was finally done, Sugafana had painted it a cheerful Daffodil yellow with purple flowers.
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"My pod isn’t a park bench," Sugafana said coldly, glaring at the two strangers. The first interloper was a tall round woman dressed in a black jumpsuit, her long frizzy blue hair pulled away from her craggy severe face. The second was a pale little girl wearing a frilly black party dress, her cobalt hair falling over one shoulder in a thick braid.
"It feels perfectly comfortable to me," the little girl said as the lady stood up, her black cloak swishing around her ankles.
"Assassin," hissed Jay.
"We prefer the term execution specialist," the lady said, and her eyes fell briefly on the baby.
"So, that little imp was right! You did keep the baby," the lady remarked.
"Mama, is this going to take long? My feet are tired from stamping too much," the little girl whined.
The execution specialist merely nodded towards the car.
"I see your pod has four seats; you will give my daughter and me a ride back to your camp. We walked here, and it was exhausting," she said.
"I won’t let you harm the baby," Sugafana said firmly.
"Neither will I," Jay added, and the lady chuckled. It was a low, cold chuckle.
"I only kill for money. Although if you refuse to give us a ride, I may make an exception," the lady remarked, and Sugafana’s eyes fell on the little girl who was scratching at her paintwork.
"Fine," she growled.
The first few minutes were tense as they drove through the city gates.
"So have you given the baby a name yet?" The assassin asked from the back seat after several moments of silence.
"No, she’s not my baby," Sugafana said through gritted teeth.
"I love naming things," the assassin said dreamily.
"Mama named me Paulina; it means small," the little girl remarked.
"You were small when you were born; I couldn’t decide if I should take you on as an apprentice or leave you to die on a hill," the assassin said.
Sugafana felt the grip on her steering controls tighten.
"And do you have a name, Auntie?" Jay stammered nervously.
"Not a legal one, no, but in this part of the solar system, you all call me the Sinister Whisper," the Sinister Whisper remarked, and Sugafana waved at the controls, causing the pod to skid to a stop an inch above the snow.
"When Mama dies, it will become my name," the little girl said cheerfully.
"Get out," Sugafana hissed.
"Get out? You want my daughter and me to get out into the freezing wasteland? It’s almost nightfall," she said with a small, vague smile.
Sugafana glanced upwards; the eerie aquamarine sunset was already starting.
"Get out, I don’t deal with famous assassins," Sugafana repeated herself.
"They might end up freezing to death! That little girl's dress doesn’t have sleeves," Jay said.
"I don’t feel the cold," the little girl said, and suddenly Sugafana felt something sharp and cold pierce through her thick braid, gently touching her neck.
"How about we all get out together? Or I might slip, and this nasty little needle filled with a highly effective toxin will end up breaking through your skin," the Sinister Whisper said.
Mars at sunset was considered one of the most classically beautiful sights in the solar system. Three hundred years ago, the tourist board of Mangalrajya built a glorious pleasure garden just outside the city. Sealed under a massive protective dome, tourists would party. Artists would come armed with drawing tablets to capture the aquamarine skies. Families would eat gourmet meals while waiting for the sun to set and the night sky to light up with a celestial fire show. During Holi, the fountains would spray epic jets of rainbow water. During Christmas, the local Catholics would arrange special concerts. For years, Sugafana would save her credits and take her sister to the annual food festival. When the appliances took over, the pleasure garden was one of the first things they destroyed. Now the land was empty apart from an occasional lump of rusty metal sticking from the ground.
Sugafana stood on the freezing ground, the needle still pressed in her neck.
"So, how did you two meet then?" The Sinister Whisper asked curiously.
"Mama! I don’t want to hear stories," the little girl grumbled.
"We met three years ago when we both tried to collect snow cubes in the same patch," Sugafana said simply.
"She thought I was a Maharatha raider and tried to kill me with her shovel," Jay added with a small nervous smile.
The Maharatha raiders were an annoying gang of teenagers. They spent their days roaming the wasteland robbing people instead of getting jobs.
"Then the real raiders showed up, and we beat them up together; after that, working together seemed easier," Sugafana added.
"Very nice, you're protective and you work well together," the Sinister Whisper said and then nodded towards Paulina.
Paulina skipped towards Jay and then pulled on his shirt.
"Give us the baby, or we will kill your partner," Paulina smiled.
Sugafana almost flinched. Jay seemed to be shifting slightly as if about to give the baby over.
"Jay, don’t do it," Sugafana said quietly.
"Are you sure?" Jay asked as the baby flailed about, her head slumping onto Jay’s shoulder.
"I’m sure, I’ve had twenty-four years! That baby has had nothing," Sugafana said, shutting her eyes.
Twenty-four years. Twenty years of pleasant walks, silly fights with family, and warm safe beds. Four years of people vanishing, good, sore bleeding hands, and four years of Jay’s silly stories….
Sugafana felt the needle pierce her skin. Her muscles clenched, preparing herself for the onslaught of burning poison. Nothing happened. Sugafana slowly opened her eyes and glanced over her shoulder. The Sinister Whisper was smiling at her, a self-satisfied, almost proud smile.
"The two of you have passed all my tests. Congratulations, you’re about to become parents," the assassin smiled, marching towards Jay, who was now faintly whimpering.
"I’m sorry… what?" Sugafana choked, and the Sinister Whisper shrugged.
"This baby needs parents who are intelligent, caring, and willing to die for its safety," the Sinister Whisper remarked casually, and Jay screamed as the Sinister Whisper pricked his skin with the same needle.
"You mean you’re not here to kill the baby?" Sugafana stammered, feeling vaguely hysterical.
The Sinister glanced briefly over her shoulder. "If I wanted to kill the baby, I would have destroyed the maternity droid's circuits instead of leaving it in the snow," she said with a small shrug.
"Mama, can’t we take the baby? These people are so soft," the little girl pleaded as the assassin pulled a small black box out of her pocket.
"No, darling, the baby's father will turn to us first," the assassin said as she handed the needles to her daughter and opened the box.
"The baby's father? Can’t he take her?" Sugafana asked, peering at the box.
Inside was a tiny gold caterpillar carved from solid gold.
"The baby's father is a bad man, an incredibly stupid bad man," the assassin said before taking the needles off her daughter.
Jay nodded as if fully understanding what she meant.
With a swift movement, she stabbed the caterpillar.
"Maternal and paternal genetic material uploaded," the scorpion said, and the assassin moved towards Jay, holding the tiny scorpion above the baby's head.
"This is a cosmetic DNA overrider, so you understand what that means?" The assassin asked Jay.
"Yes, we studied them at nursing school," Jay said in a small, nervous voice.
"What does that mean?" Sugafana whispered nervously.
"Rich people use them when they want to change their appearance but don’t want the genes to get passed down to their kids. It’s a sort of genetic mask that lies over your real DNA," Jay explained.
"Rich people, of course," Sugafana sighed.
"When I place this caterpillar on her head, this baby will have your maternal and paternal DNA signatures; every database in the solar system will register her as your biological daughter," the assassin explained.
"I have always wanted to be a mother," Sugafana admitted.
"I do like kids," Jay added.
"I know, that’s why I left the android on your snow patch," the assassin said, placing the caterpillar on the baby's head.
"Genetic overriding sequence selected, do you wish to proceed?" the caterpillar asked.
"Well, do you?" The assassin asked.
Sugafana’s eyes met Jay’s. He slowly nodded.
"Yes," Sugafana said, and the caterpillar began to squirm.
Suddenly, the baby's hair began to fall out in fluffy green clumps. The baby screeched and cried as the caterpillar rolled in on itself, turning into a cocoon.
"She’s in pain," Sugafana cried, running towards Jay.
"She’ll be ok; the patients I observed said it’s more of an annoying itchy feeling," Jay reassured her.
The baby's skin tone was changing; her cheeks were becoming fuller, and tiny prickles of violet hair began to sprout from her scalp.
"Modifications complete," the cocoon chimed, and it burst open, revealing a golden butterfly that flew away, landing on the assassin's shoulder.
The baby opened her eyes. Big, amber gold eyes surrounded by thick dark lashes.
"She looks like you," Jay whispered, and something flooded through Sugafana. Something aching and sad. Something wonderful.
"No, she looks like my sister," Sugafana whispered, taking the baby out of Jay’s arms.
The baby gripped onto the front of Sugafana’s shirt, and suddenly she was four years old again, holding her baby sister the day she was born.
"You should name her Perdita," Paulina said in a tiny, firm voice.
"No, they need to name the baby themselves," the sinister whisper scolded her gently.
"My sister's name was Lakshmi, but this baby is her own person," Sugafana said to Jay, and he stood next to her, patting the baby's head.
"What about Dityaa? It means almost the same thing," Jay asked, and Sugafana nodded, her eyes watering.
"Dityaa," she said firmly. Suddenly, everything flashed blue, and the air filled with the scent of fresh pineapple.
"They’re gone," Jay whispered. The assassin and her daughter had vanished.
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stiffyck · 5 months
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OH I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR A POST THAT ASKS FOR ANY OTHER SPECIES THAN THOSE VEX VAMPIRE AND PARROT THANK YOU
Scar is definitely a red panda, no questions asked (Red pandas are my favourite animals, and Scar literally always makes my day better 100%) (Also the fact Scar raises his hands when he gets jumpscared)
For Mumbo it's quite hard to decide- While I love seeing him as a fancy vampire, I think a warden hybrid or a shapeshifter, if not a robot/android could also absolutely work, or a moth idk (Or, completely random thought: What if Mumbo was a snake)
Though, if I had to decide, I'd go with a warden!mumbo
And while I typically don't mind Grian being a birb (or rather parrot), I could imagine him perhaps being some kind of dragon, or maybe even an allay honestly (I can't imagine grian without wings ngl)
Yeah these are just random thoughts my brain had now (It's not even 7 am when I'm writing this :'D)
OOOH YES YES LOVE ALL OF THESE
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mynameisnotsoda · 3 months
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Lore dumping my fnaf au
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I just remembered that I inserted myself and my best friend into the au for funsies (you'll notice I do that a lot. This is how cringe I am)
In my first draft I went on a rant abt how much I hated Wilbur's face but after going back to fix it I just needed to add his glasses LMAO. Initially I forgot about the face paint until I stared at my ref LMAO it's supposed to look faded and I think I did a pretty damn good job
Other than that the rest is fine. Erm. I didn't think I'd yap so much about that the actual lore is below the cut lawl
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This is Maya!!!! (she/they) she's the mechanic in the pizzaplex, is addicted to caffeine, and is my bestest friend !!!!!! In the au we live together and also work at the same place that's so funny ‼️‼️
They usually work the night shift but if there needs to be emergency repairs during the day they're always on call for that. Nights usually consist of checkups and clean up of the animatronics and androids (will get into that later).
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Clearly, I have a favorite, so he's also my favorite in the au itself LMAO cSoda works in the daycare but often leaves to bother the animatronics ☝️☝️‼️‼️
the daycare has an art station so that's where they work, they also help clean up and watch over the kids with the daycare androids !!! Who are *drumroll* Mumbo and Grian !!!!
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(I forgot the makeup in this doodle,, and apparently the white stripe on the red part of the dress uggghh) the daycare androids are supposed to be more human looking to not scare the little kids, but cartoony (and tall) enough to differentiate from the human coworker. I like to imagine their faces are rly simple bc they're LED screens with projected expressions to make emotions n stuff. Plus I wanted to keep their faces similar to their skins with an in universe reason for it pfsjshgdhdh
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Tumblr keeps bugging out every time I wanna post and it's DRIVING ME INSANE !!!! half this post got deleted and I'm SO MAD ABOUT IT but anyway here's the refs I made like 2 years ago. Their designs haven't changed since I made them so I probably won't remake them unless I start hating my old art enough LMAO
The canon heights I never wrote down so here they are: Ranboo 8'0, Wilbur 7'2, Maya 5'4, I'm 5'7, Grian 7'0, Mumbo 8'0, James 7'0, Tommy 6'6, Jimmy 5'5 and Schlatt wasnt in the AU at the time but he's 6'4
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I didnt really make this au for anything except silly scenarios and because making the designs were fun pFF ALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION Sneeg is dj music man !!!! I never got around to drawing him before since I just figured out recently I wanted him to be dj music man so yeah !!
I know this isn't that much of a lore dump but I think I got all my thoughts out for now lawl everything will be under the animatronicfication au tag :v
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I have GOT to draw Wilbur the way I used to. The biblically accurate animatronic eyes do NOT look good in my art style 😭😭 also I just noticed I basically painted the same thing into my sketchbook wtf I completely forgot about this doodle until I found it after digging for au art 🤯🤯
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