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10yo-anon · 2 days

Text

《 Sick days. 》

Satoru Gojo x F!reader

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

⚠️: slight silly type of hurt/comfort!! Yay! :3 (possibly ooc! Satoru), DIALOGEEEEE!!

WC: 896.

A/N: NOOOOO MY TUMBLR DRAFTS DIDN'T SAVE PART 2 OF DARK RED. I WAS HALFWAY FINISHED. IM USIBG THIS LIL DRABBLE TO COPE. AT SKEWL RN MAKING SKEWL DOODLES TO 💪

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

Day 1.

It wasn't often for Satoru to get sick. You know what? Scrap that. It was rare for him to get sick. Maybe once or twice every year. possibly due to him being a sorcerer.

And if he does get sick, it would be a simple cold that would only effusive his immune system for a few days! Unfair!

If you were honest, you kind of liked it when he would get sick.. he gets more clingy, begging for attention and being twice as affectionate as he was physically and emotionally than normal.

But now it doesn't look like just small cold when you see Satoru laying on the couch, groaning, instead of rushing towards your bedroom like he always does whenever he gets back from his missions and responsibilities.

"Satoru, you're back!—..are you okay?" You ask as you walk over to him, sitting on the soft arm chair.

"Huh?.." He tilts his head up to look at you before quickly sitting up, " baby, you're here— yes, yes I'm fine.. duh." he scoffs, "why are you asking? Concerned for your little ol' boyfriend, huh?" He attempts to distract you.

"Maybe because your face is all red, and I doubt its from blushing." You respond sternly, ignoring the last sentence he spat out.

"Its noth—" Before he could talk back, your hands cup his face, in which he subconsciously leans on. "Satoru.. you're sick." You frown. When he realizes you were concerned, his hand goes up to wrap around your wrist. "You know I'll be fine, besides, I'm sure this will go away sooner or later!" Though sweet, His reassurance pisses you off, how could he not care for himself! He should know better!

"Im not sure this will go away 'sooner or later', your temperatures too high." You kiss his forehead. "Nuh uh! Promise, im finee, besides, I dont need your help anyways." Is it possible for you to take your actions and words back?

"Oh, is that so? Fine then, Satoru." You huff before leaning away. "Wait— I don't mean it like that!" "Dosent look like you don't." He crosses his arms. "Fine then, maybe I do think I don't need your help." "Fine." You sigh out before turning away, walking back to the master bedroom to take do your night routine. "Fine!" You hear him respond back at the living room.

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

Day 2.

You wake up from your peaceful slumber, greeted by the pillow wall you made with the reason: "so your fever won't infect me." And Satoru's back. He would always wake up earlier than your, but given his state, it was understandable.

You wanted to help but after your small petty fight with him and his words, your ego won't let you.

You stretch your arms and hop out of bed, (not before you silently place a soft kiss on top of satoru's bed head.) the least you could do was to continue with your morning, and cook food for the both of you.

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

Is it possible for him to take his actions and words back?

He wanted to slap himself sooo bad.. not only did he make you angry, but he didn't even get his "goodnight" and "I love you", he couldn't cuddle you up the whole night because of your stupid idea of a pillow wall, (he knows your reason wasn't the only reason.) But now he had to wake up from his shitty slumber with a raging head ache. He didn't want to play this petty game anymore, but his ego doesn't want to lose. And he started it anyway.

He yawns and walks to the kitchen in search for you, but he only saw breakfast waiting for him and a note saying you went out for errands. Couldn't his day get any worse?

Grumbling curses to himself, he walks to the medicine cabinet you handmade and personally decorated for whenever he came back needing to get bandaged. His hand rummages through the cabinet, gauze.. syringes.. anesthesia...ah, pills!grabbing whatever packet of pills he saw first he sits back at the table seat, eating the delicious warm meal you left for him and swallowing down the pills with water soon after.

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

You take your shoes off, putting the bag of groceries on the counter before going to the bedroom to freshen up.

Your fight with Satoru was only a waiting game to see who breaks and loses, who gets their ego eaten by the other.

Surprisingly, Satoru was nowhere to be found, not until you feel arms wrapping around your waist from behind before he pulls you to his warm chest, leaning down to nuzzle his head on your neck, his warm skin touching yours.

"M'sorry. Im sooo sorry.." you hear and even feel him whine out. "Can't do this anymore.. take care of me, pleasee.."

"Oh, Toru." Maybe this is what happens when even your white blood cells have an ego.

You turn your body to face his slumping one. Barely balancing as he depends his weight down on you, until you both fall down the bed, him on top of you, successfully trapping you before smothering your face with kisses as you giggle from the ticklish feeling.

"Satoru! Stop!" You teasingly push him away. "Hey! You want to help me, don't you." "Mhm, well, yeah—" "then let me continue!" "This won't even help!" "I don't know about that... making you happy is actually taking my head ache away.."

"You geek."

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

A/N: so yeah, i got to rewrite dark red part 2 AGAIN. Before english period started i checked my drafts, and it wasn't there. So i wrote this lil drabble for the whole english period instead of writing notes just to cope 🤗

#☆— 【 fanfiction !! 】#im sorry #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #satoru gojo x reader #satoru x reader #gojo x reader #satoru x y/n #satoru x you #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #gojo fluff #satoru fluff

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yoongikapi · 2 days

Text

meeting at a cafe || NJ/SJ/YG || oneshot

fluff

masterlist

NOT PROOFREAD! found this in my drafts from like over a year ago, figured i’d post. lmk if you want the other members!

namjoon:

your laptop notified you for the second time, reminding you to find an outlet soon. you broke your gaze away from your screen after what seemed like days, frantically searching for an outlet around the crowded coffee shop. you lit up when you noticed an outlet at the nearby corner table; gathering your stuff you began to walk over but hesitated when you noticed someone was already sitting over there. you did notice however, they weren’t using the outlet but sat across from it. your heart quickened when your laptop flashed its final warning to be charged and you rushed over to the outlet across from the stranger. you quickly plugged it in and were instantly relieved that you weren’t gonna lose your work. you looked up to the stranger and were met with the most beautiful eyes you had ever seen. although he flashed a confused look, you felt your face heat up as you stared back at the attractive stranger.

“im sorry, i really needed to charge my laptop, do you mind if i leave it here for a while? i’ll just go sit back over there.” you frantically said, instantly realizing how rude this must have seemed. he shook his head back, his confused look from earlier had disappeared. “not at all, i dont mind if you stay either.” he flashed you a friendly smile and you suddenly realized you’d rather stay too. you smiled back and thanked him, quietly sitting across from him and opened your textbooks back up. you wanted to talk to him some more but didnt want to bother him, and so you tried to focus back on your work. it seemed so obvious yet unspoken that he was feeling the same, but it still remained quiet on both ends. after getting some work done you quietly (yet slowly) packed your bags. you thanked him again and headed off but didnt get very far when he caught up to you.

“i just wanted to let you know that i didnt mind you being around at all. this is for you” he said, handing you a small, folded up piece of paper. “i hope to see you again” he smiled one last time and rushed back into the cafe. you almost dropped the unfolded paper in shock. blushing heavily, you quickly added his contact information into your phone, smiling at the thought of seeing him again.

jin:

you walked in your favorite cafe for the third time this week and dashed straight up in line. you had been here so much since it opened that you didnt need to look at the menu anymore, you already had your favorites picked out. as you waited for the person in front of you to order, you noticed the one barista who stood out to you was working today. you smiled and wondered what crazy thing he’d write on your mug today. as you put your order in you noticed him turn and look at you, almost as if he had your order memorized as well. he smiled when he saw you and you noticed, smiling back. he turned and began making your order as you headed over to your favorite spot in the shop. you stopped working when you heard your name being called. looking up and realizing it was him, you jumped up to grab your order, secretly liking the way he said your name.

“just the way you like it” he smiled, handing you the hot beverage. you thanked him and made your way back to your table. taking your seat, you immediately began to search for his usual writing spot on your mug but was interrupted by a call. it was your boss asking you to come in and help with some work, to which you quickly agreed and began packing up your bags. you had forgotten all about the writing on the mug until you got to your office at work.

‘been thinking about you a latte’ it read and you laughed. making a mental note to think of a cheesy pickup line back for the next time you saw him.

(i’m sorry but jin is the king of dad jokes)

yoongi:

after placing your coffee order you went and sat in a chair in the corner of the store, deciding to pass the time by sitting on your phone. a couple of names were called and then yours, so you made your way to the pickup counter but was confused when you didnt see your coffee. you stood around for a second, thinking maybe they hadn’t quite finished it yet, but realized this wasn’t the case when they continued calling out other customers names. you nervously asked the barista if they were still working on yours and gave them your name again. you grew even more confused when they told you yours was finished and put out already. no way someone stole my coffee. it was the only logical thing that could’ve happened to it. upset but in a bit of a rush, you began heading out of the store when you heard someone else in the store say your name. you turned and saw a confused man looking around but his eyes met yours when you tuned. he said it again and you nodded in confusion until you saw him hold up what looked like your coffee. your face lit up as you headed over to him.

“im sorry i grabbed your coffee in a rush thinking it was mine.” he quickly apologized, but instead of handing it to you he took it back over to the baristas. he walked back over to you empty handed; “i had a couple of sips before i realized it wasn’t mine, im having them make you a new one.” he explained. you told him he didnt need to do that, but you appreciated it. you noticed he had a bunch of other coffees with him and decided to ask him about it to make conversation while you waited. he explained to you that he was starting a new internship and wanted to make a good first impression. you smiled when he told you which company he’d be working at; it was yours. you explained with a smile on your face that you also worked there and wouldn’t mind walking with him to work. and so when the rest of his coffees were done, you helped him carry some to work and laughed at the thought of him doing it himself.

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hisokakissmeplz · 2 days

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Can I please request a hisoka hc where they are having an argument and he's being petty. Smut and lime after please .

bet make up sex (this has been in my drafts far too long)

"What the fuck Hisoka?"

"What?"

He doesn't even look up at you. Hisoka instead continues building his card house on the coffee table.

"why throw your clothes on the floor when the hampers right there?"

He does this all the time, dumb things just to piss you off. Like throw his laundry next to the hamper instead of in it.

"you're being dramatic."

God he knew how to push your buttons.

"no I'm not, it's not that hard to just put them in the basket instead of making me pick them up off the floor."

He rolled his eyes as he put the top two cards on his card house and ignored you.

You were tired of it.

You walked over to him, on the opposite side of the coffee table. With the slight nudge of your leg against the coffee table, his card house tumbled in front of him.

He leaned back on the couch, looking up at you annoyed. God he was so handsome, you couldn't let that distract you.

"We're being petty now?"

His eyes flickering up to yours from under long eyelashes.

"we already were."

You retorted fast, not moving from your spot as you glared down at him.

He stood up, his eyes now flickering down to remain eye contact. Crossing his arms, he sighed.

"Why put my clothes away when I have you?"

That pissed you off even more.

"I'm not your maid."

"Your words, not mine."

He walked out of the room and into the kitchen, leaning on the counter. He watched as you followed him in there.

"I'm tired of this, why do you always pick fights with me?"

He smirked at you, his golden eyes still glued to you.

"it tickles me."

He never took anything seriously, always trying to play the high card. He always had to be on top, always the better one.

"Shut up." You scoffed. "You asked a question." He retorts.

"It was rehtorical." You sighed, resting your hands on your hips. "I'm serious, why are you even with me if all you wanna do is fight?"

Something changed in his face at that, quickly recovering though.

"that's not all we do."

You look at him, waiting for him to make his argument.

"we fuck too."

That was it. You stormed out of the kitchen and into the bedroom, slamming the door and locking it.

You sat on the bed, feeling the anger boil up in you and trying to calm yourself down when you heard his footsteps through the hallway.

"baby,"

"Don't 'baby' me."

You hated how your voice sounded, you could hear how upset you were, your voice almost cracking.

"just open the door."

You almost did, deciding against so you could be alone.

"Baby, open the door." You didn't answer. "I'm serious, open the door."

His voice has soften the longer you were silent. You stood up, stretching your legs and taking a deep breath.

"baby let me in, please." You could hear him sigh against the door, you almost rolled your eyes until you hear him whisper. "I'm sorry."

It wasn't definite and you weren't sure he had actually said it. You decided anyways to unlock the door.

He opens it fast and grabs onto you, pulling you by the hips against him.

You keep your arms crossed, scoffing at his action.

He smirks again, leaning down to kiss you. You turn your head as his lips meet your cheek instead.

He frowns, his face scrunching a little as he looks down at you.

You pull away from him and head into the bathroom, wiping your cheek as you walk.

That pisses him off and you know it.

He follows you in there, wrapping his arms around you again from behind. He rest his chin on your shoulder looking at you in the mirror.

The silence is killing you.

"you can't just hug up on me and think everything is fine."

"let me make it up to you then"

You scoff at his implication.

"and not be able to sit down tomorrow, why bother."

He sighs against your shoulder, pressing kisses back up to your neck.

"Why are you being so difficult?" He purrs in that deep husky voice that makes your knees weak. "Let me apologize my way, hm?"

His hands come up to your chest, he's being gentle though. You can feel his dick already straining against his pants as it presses against your back.

You sigh, he had a way with you, the arousal begining to pool at you core. His hands working deftly to pull you out of your top.

"Let me show you why I'm with you, why you keep coming back to me."

Hisoka spins you around, lowering his head to presses kisses to your chest as he hands undo your bra. Without hesitation he takes your nipple into his mouth, one hand tracing around to pinch and squeeze the other.

You try to muffle the moan you feel but it's useless when sucks extra hard on the nipple to force it out of you.

He picks you up, taking you out of the bathroom and laying you on the bed.

He pulls down your pants, his lips peppering kisses all up your thighs.

"Still mad?" He asks, his tone lustful and raspy.

You nod, annoyed with his attitude but not wanting to stop the inevitable. His hands pull your hips over the edge of the bed, his warm breath hitting your core through your now soaked panties.

"She doesn't look very mad, bunny."

He's teasing you, testing your patience because he knows you won't stop him, not when his mouth is so dangerously close to your sopping pussy.

He licks a long stripe over the wet fabric.

"Come on now, don't be so quiet."

He slides his finger over your clit, rubbing slow circles through your panties.

You bite your lip, trying to hold back any sounds but he's just too good, a soft broken whine leaving your lips, encouraging him to speed up his ministrations.

He stops, standing up over you as his hands pull off your panties, probably pocketing them for later.

He leans up to kiss you, his mouth wet from your cunt, but before he can press into you you stop him with a hand on his chest.

"I don't think you deserve it."

You say with newfound strength and confidence.

"there she is, missed my mean girl."

He smirks but the serious look in your eye stops him.

"what, you want me to beg?"

He purrs into your ear, and as tempting as the offer sounds you decline.

"just the tip, that's all you get."

"aw, don't be so unfair, I promise I'll be good."

"just the tip, or nothing."

He huffs, but relents. Slowly, he slides just his pretty pink tip into you.

He groans into your shoulder, wanting desperately to take you fully.

He smirks up at you, and as you look up at him puzzled, you feel the aura tighten around your wrist and pull your hands up to the head board.

"Hisoka-"

"yes?" He purrs innocently as he slides the rest of his dick into you, kissing your cervix. You can't help the moan that leaves your mouth, glaring at him.

"don't be like that, let me take care of you bunny."

#hisoka #hisoka morow #hunter x hunter #hisoka morrow x reader #hisoka morrow #hisoka x reader #hisoka hxh #hisoka hunter x hunter #hisoka hcs #hisoka smut

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hermitblurbs · 10 months

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A continuation of my Steampunk AU (7)!

Grian had grown to accept his weird attachment to Scar, if with a bit of hesitance. The other was good conversation in a town where everyone else was incredibly boring. It’s why he stuck around with broken machines so often; there’s nothing to predict about them.

Scar was fixed up, no sign of glitches like in N.P.C or Grumbot, and Grian couldn’t predict him if his life depended on it. Whatever AI in the bot’s brain was fascinating, and the strange logic it followed always managed to keep him enraptured.

It quelled that bored drawl in the back of his mind, on a good day.

Today, even with Scar by his side, seemed to crawl along at a slug’s pace.

The wastes were turning up useless scrap after useless scrap, Mumbo too busy with a commission to entertain him, even the ticking of his wings was the same as ever. They didn’t even ache. At least then, complaining or not, wouldn’t leave him bored.

If he’s being honest, he probably shouldn’t have gone out to scavenge.

Days like these are best kept in line by staying in a place with overarching rules, a guarantee he won’t overstep anything and end up missing more than a chunk of wing.

The wastes don’t have that. They have metal, radiation, rust, and scavengers.

“This is a lot further than we’ve travelled before,” remarks Scar, frayed gas mask making him seem bizarrely human, bizarrely out of place in one of mumbo’s white button up and a false corset. He knows by the whirl of Scar’s fans, that the green metal would be warm to the touch.

He climbs the hill anyway.

There’s the clanging of other scavengers, only two of them at the foot, and they’re pulling something out of a shaking pile that’s large and expensive.

“Ooh, a lucky find for those fellas!”

Grian says nothing in return.

His wings click. Once. Twice.

Take it from them.

He widens his stance, careful not to make a sound on copper and aluminum and iron.

Imagine how excited Mumbo will be.

His wings spread like butter across the sky.

And he jumps. Dives, towards the two.

What should’ve happened was a simple wrap of his hands around the machinery and an arc back into the air and away. What should’ve happened would have been enough to satiate his boredom. What should’ve happened, is that he should have been faster.

What did happen, is that he gets his hands curled around the machine. He’s on the upbeat of his wings, when a hand wraps around his ankle.

He registers the impact. He registers the stars. He registers how the metal crumples beneath him, denting and damaging the scrap.

And then he registers the pain of being slammed into the ground.

“What the fuck, you little asshat!” The nearest one sounds. Their mask is colored the same white as the gleam of a jawbone. They raise a foot and stomp on Grian’s hand, grinding it into the dry dirt with the heel.

He has half a mind to scan the hills for Scar, but the android is lost among the shadows and the piles of scrap encircling them. His heart sinks.

“Hey, dude!” Comes the second one—their mask is layered to look like a growing of fungus. “Take it easy, they’re already down.”

“Their mask is cool,” remarks the third, the one his missed and the one who grabbed him. Their mask is simple and plain, a stark contrast to his own, hooked in the shape of a beak. They’re dressed in dark browns, almost blended completely against the ground.

“That doesn’t matter, they tried to *steal* from us. Why I oughta—“ And they grab his wing.

Something in his mind goes a little haywire. The bones there are fragile, half-molded to metal and muscle, and he does his darnedest to bash their faces in with the prosthetic.

He manages to clip Shrooms across the temple, drawing his knife and lunging at another, but it doesn’t last long. It was never going to last long, three against one. But he gets some good hits in, spills enough blood.

He ends up fully pinned, a boot against his back and his racing heartbeat prominant in the pressure from a steady, constant pull of his wing in a scavenger’s hand.

“What’s going on here?” Comes a familiar voice, and Grian feels like crying. If they leave him alive, at least Scar can get him back to Mumbo.

“Are you with this vulture,” one of them spits.

“I am, and I promised he’s very much learned his lesson—“

“He sliced my arm open,” they growl. And yeah, he did do that. The drip of blood fills him with a cruel pride that they’re going to need to go home after this and waste the day away.

“You deserved it,” he calls back, and is rewarded with a particularly painful tug on his wing.

“Fellas, I promise you that if you let him go, you’ll never see us ever again. Heck, we’ll even leave you little things for yourself to improve profits! How’s that for a deal?”

“How about instead we slice his throat?” And he knows it’s a bluff. Killing someone over a single piece of scrap is ludicrous, and these guys don’t seem insane enough to do it to a first-time offender. They’re farther than typical from their bubble, and while Grian’s had his own fair share of death threats they’ve only ever been serious in total nowhere. It’s got to be a bluff. It has to be.

He’s going to die if it’s not.

Grian looks up, eyes following metal legs to Scar’s face to find the other staring directly at him.

He doesn’t know what Scar sees in him, but he hears his fan kick on just beneath the noise of the wastes.

The android steps forward, steps closer. Grian can’t tell a single thing about what he’s thinking, but he knows his neck is starting to ache from the angle he’s keeping it at to keep Scar in view. Something about the quiet won’t let him look away. Scar rears back a fist.

And then he hears the crack of bone.

The weight falls off his back, his wing, and Grian is left staring into empty space as Scar takes measured steps behind him, and out of view.

The impacts behind him begins to sound wet, like the repeated thump of a hammer against drowned wood.

Grian has dabbled a bit, long before he met Mumbo, in engineering himself. It was more buildings than robots, trains instead of anything that breathes. But there’s one thing he still remembers, clear as day.

A robot may not injure a human being.

So what does that make the thing in front of him?

#blurb #scarian #steampunk au #hermitcraft fic #hermitcraft #this was sitting in my drafts waiting for you all!#sorry i took so long to post <3 #i dont think this blog will be continuing to write for Awhile #schools getting rough!#but if yall have any questions on story beats #ive got some semblace of a plan for a lot of them!#cod boy might be stalled too #we didnt have any writing backed up;;#love yall! im going to enjoy my retirement <3

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bonefall · 4 months

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Don’t know if this is the right place to ask, but could you talk more about zoos? I’ve seen many people say that zoos are inherently exploitative and that we should instead focus on advocating for wildlife preserves, etc., but I’m not sure what to think of that. You seem to know a lot about wildlife protection, so what’s your opinion on this?

There are folks faaaar better than myself to talk about the issues of zoos specifically and I'll try to toss in some sources so you can go and learn more, but let me try and explain my mindset here.

Summary of my opinion on this: BOTH of these things can be poorly managed, and I broadly support both. They should exist in tandem. I am pro-accredited zoo and am extremely sensitive towards misinformation. I also do think the best place for animals to be is in their natural environment, but nature "preserves" aren't inherently perfect. They can also be prone to the capitalist (and colonialist) pressures that less informed people believe they're somehow immune to.

Because of the goal of my project being to make the setting of WC accurate to Northwestern England, my research is based on UK laws, ecology, and conservation programs.

On Zoos

On Nature Reserves

An Aside on Fortress Conservation

On Zoos

The legal definition of a Zoo in the UK (because that is what BB's ecological education is based around), as defined by the Zoo Licensing Act of 1981 (ZLA), is a "place where wild animals are kept for exhibition to the public," excluding circuses and pet shops (which are covered by different laws.)

This applies equally to private, for-profit zoos, as well as zoos run by wildlife charities and conservation organizations. Profit does not define a zoo. If there's a place trying to tell you it's not a zoo but a "sanctuary" or a "wildlife park," but you can still go visit and see captive wild animals, even if it's totally free, it's a marketing trick. Legally that is still a zoo in the UK.

(for fellow Americans; OUR definition is broader, more patchwork because we are 50 little countries in a trenchcoat, and can include collections of animals not displayed to the public.)

That said, there's a HUGE difference between Chester Zoo, run by the North of England Zoological Society, which personally holds the studbooks for maintaining the genetic diversity of 10 endangered species, has 134 captive breeding projects, cultivates 265 threatened plant species, and sends its members as consultants to United Nations conferences on climate change, and Sam Tiddles' Personal Zebra Pit.

Sam Tiddles' Personal Zebra Pit ONLY has to worry about the UK government. There's another standard zoos can hold themselves to if they want to get serious about conservation like Chester Zoo; Accreditation. There are two major zoo organizations in the UK, BIAZA and EAZA.

(Americans may wonder about AZA; that's ours. AZA, EAZA, and BIAZA are all members of the World Association of Aquariums and Zoos, or WAZA, but they are all individual organizations.)

A zoo going for EAZA's "accreditation" has to undergo an entire year of evaluation to make sure they fit the strict standards, and renewal is ongoing. You don't just earn it once. You have to keep your animal welfare up-to-date and in compliance or you will lose it.

The benefit of joining with an accredited org is that it puts the zoo into a huge network of other organizations. They work together for various conservation efforts.

There are DOZENS of species that were prevented from going extinct, and are being reintroduced back to their habitats, because of the work done by zoos. The scimitar-horned oryx, takhi, California condor, the Galapagos tortoise, etc. Some of these WERE extinct in the wild and wouldn't BE here if it hadn't been for zoos!

The San Diego zoo is preventing the last remaining hawaiian crows from embracing oblivion right now, a species for which SO LITTLE of its wild behavior is known they had to write the book on caring for them, and Chester zoo worked in tandem with the Uganda Wildlife Authority to provide tech and funding towards breakthroughs in surveying wild pangolins.

Don't get me wrong;

MOST zoos are not accredited,

nor is accreditation is REQUIRED to make a good zoo,

nor does it automatically PROVE nothing bad has happened in the zoo,

There are a lot more Sam Tiddles' Personal Zebra Pits than there are Chester Zoos.

That's worth talking about! We SHOULD be having conversations on things like,

Is it appropriate to keep and breed difficult, social megafauna, like elephants or cetaceans? What does the data say? Are there any circumstances where that would be okay, IF the data does confirm we can never provide enough space or stimulation to perfectly meet those species' needs?

How can we improve animal welfare for private zoos? Should we tighten up regulations on who can start or run one (yes)? Are there enough inspectors (no)?

Do those smaller zoos meaningfully contribute to better conservation? How do we know if they are properly educating their visitors? Can we prove this one way or the other?

Who watches the watchmen? Accreditation societies hold themselves accountable. Do these organizations truly have enough transparency?

(I don't agree with Born Free's ultimate conclusion that we should "phase out" zoos, but you should always understand the opposing arguments)

But bottom line of my opinion is; Good zoos are deeply important, and they have a tangible benefit to wildlife conservation. Anyone who tries to tell you that "zoos are inherently unethical" either knows very little about zoos or real conservation work, or... is hiding some deeper, more batshit take, like "having wild animals in any kind of captivity is unlawful imprisonment."

(you'll also get a lot more work done in regulating the exotic animal trade in the UK if you go after private owners, btw. zoos have nothing to do with how lax those laws are.)

Anyway I'm a funny cat blog about battle kitties, and the stuff I do for BB is to educate about the ecosystem of Northern England. If you want to know more about zoos, debunking misconceptions, and critiques from someone with more personal experience, go talk to @why-animals-do-the-thing!

Keep in mind though, again, they talk about American zoos, where this post was written with the UK in mind.

(and even then, England specifically. ALL UK members and also the Isle of Man have differences in their laws.)

(If anyone has other zoo education tumblr blogs in mind, especially if they are European, lmk and I'll edit this post)

On Nature Reserves

Remember how broad the legal definition of a zoo actually was? Same thing over here. A "nature reserve" in the UK is a broad, unofficial generic term for several things. It doesn't inherently involve statutory protection, either, meaning there's some situations where there's no laws to hold anyone accountable for damage

These are the "nature reserve" types relevant to my project; (NOTE: Ramsar sites, SACs, and SPAs are EU-related and honestly, I do not know how Brexit has effected them, if at all, so I won't be explaining something I don't understand.)

Local Wildlife Site (LWS) Selected via scientific survey and managed locally, connecting wildlife habitats together and keeping nature close to home. VERY important... and yet, incredibly prone to destruction because there aren't good reporting processes in place. Whenever a report comes out every few years, the Wildlife Trust says it often only gets data for 15% of all their registered sites, and 12% get destroyed in that timeframe.

Local Nature Reserve (LNR) A site that can be declared by a district or county council, if proven to have geographic, educational, biodiversity, or recreational value. The local authority manages this, BUT, the landowner can remain in control of the property and "lease" it out (and boy oh boy, landowners do some RIDICULOUS things)

National Nature Reserve (NNR) This is probably closest to what you think of when someone says "nature reserve." Designated by Natural England to protect significant habitat ranges and geographic formations, but still usually operates in tandem with private land owners who must get consent if they want to do something potentially damaging to the NNR.

Site of Special Scientific Interest (SSSI) (pronounced Triple S-I) A conservation designation for a particular place, assessed and defined by Natural England for its biological or geographic significance. SSSIs are protected areas, and often become the basis for NNRs, LNRs, Ramsar sites, SACs, SPAs, etc.

So you probably noticed that 3/4 of those needed to have the private ownership problem mentioned right in the summary, and it doesn't end there. Even fully government-managed NNRs and SSSIs work with the private sectors of forestry, tourism, and recreation.

We live under Capitalism; EVERYTHING has a profit motive, not just zoos.

I brushed over some of those factors in my Moorland Research Notes and DESPERATELY tried to stay succinct with them, but it was hard. The things that can happen to skirt around the UK's laws protecting wildlife could make an entire season of Monty Python sketches.

Protestors can angrily oppose felling silver birch (a "weed" in this context which can change the ecosystem) because it made a hike less 'pretty' and they don't understand heath management.

Management can be reluctant to ban dogs and horses for fear of backlash, even as they turn heath to sward before our eyes.

Reserves can be owned by Count Bloodsnurt who thinks crashing through the forest with a pack of dogs to exhaust an animal to death is a profitable traditional British passtime.

Or you can literally just pretend that you accidentally chased a deer for several hours and then killed it while innocently sending your baying hounds down a trail. (NOTE: I am pro-hunting, but not pro-animal cruelty.)

The Forestry Commission can slobber enthusiastically while replacing endangered wildlife habitats with non-native, invasive sitka spruce plantations, pretending most trees are equal while conveniently prioritizing profitable timber species.

I have STORIES to tell about the absolute Looney Tunes bullshit that's going on between conservationists and rich assholes who want to sell grouse hunting access, but I'll leave it at this fascinating tidbit about air guns and mannequins which are "totally, absolutely there for no nefarious reason at all, certainly not to prevent marsh harriers from nesting in an area where they also keep winding up mysteriously killed in illegal snares, no no no"

BUT. Since Nature Reserve isn't a hard defined legal concept, and any organization could get involved in local conservation in the UK, and just about anyone or anything could own one... IT'S CHESTER ZOO WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!

They received a grant in 2021 to restore habitat to a stretch of 10 miles extending outside of their borders, working with TONS of other entities such as local government and conservation charities in the process. There's now 6,000 square meters of restored meadow, an orchard, new ponds, and maintained reedbeds, because of them.

It isn't just Chester Zoo, either. It's all over the UK. Durrel Wildlife, which runs Jersey Zoo, just acquired 18,500 acres to rewild in Perthshire. Citizen Zoo is working with the Beaver Trust to bring beavers back to London and is always looking for volunteers to help with their river projects, and the Edinburgh Zoo is equipped with gene labs being used to monitor and analyze the remaining populations of non-hybrid Scottish Wildcats.

The point being,

Nature preserves have problems too. They are not magical fairy kingdoms that you put up a fence around and then declare you Saved Nature Hooray! They need to be protected. They need to be continuously assessed. They are prone to capitalist pressures just like everything else on this hell planet. Go talk to my boy Karl he'll give you a hug about it.

"Nature Preserves" are NOT an "alternative" to zoos and vice versa. They do not do the same thing. A zoo is a center of education and wildlife research which displays exotic animals. A nature preserve is a parcel of native ecosystem. We need LOTS of nature preserves and we need them well-managed ASAP.

We could never just "replace" zoos with nature preserves, and we're nowhere near the amount of protected ecosystem space to start thinking of scaling back animals in captivity. Until King Arthur comes out of hibernation to save Britain, that's the world we live in.

An Aside

My project and my research is based on the isle of Great Britain. The more I learn about the ecosystems that are naturally found there, the more venomously I reject the old lie, "humans are a blight."

YOU are an animal. You're a big one, too. You know what the role of big animals in an ecosystem are? Change. Elephants knock over trees, wolves alter the course of rivers, bison fertilize the plains from coast-to-coast. In Great Britain, that's what hominids have done for 900,000 years, their populations ebbing and flowing with every ice age.

Early farming created the moors and grazing sheep and cattle maintain it, hosting hundreds of specialist species. Every old-growth forest has signs of ancient coppicing and pollarding, which create havens for wildlife when well-managed. Corn cockle evolved as a mimic of wheat seeds, so farmers would plant it over and over within their fields.

This garbage idea that humans are somehow "separate" from or "above" nature is poison. It's not true ANYWHERE.

It contributes to an idea that our very presence is somehow damaging to natural spaces, and to "protect" it, we have to completely leave it alone. NO! Absolutely NOT! There are places where we have to limit harvesting and foot traffic, but humans ALWAYS lived in nature.

Even the ecosystems that this mindset comes from rejects it, but this shit doesn't JUST get applied to British people who become alienated and disconnected from their surroundings to the point where they don't know what silver birch does.

It's DEADLY for the indigenous people who protect 80% of our most important ecosystems.

It's a weapon against the Maasai people, stopped from hunting or growing crops on their own land. It's violence for 9 San hunters shot at by a helicopter with a "kill poachers on-sight" policy, as one of the world's LARGEST diamond mines operates in the same motherfucking park. The Havasupai people are kept out of the Grand Canyon that they managed for generations because they might "collect too many nuts" and starve squirrels, Dukha reindeer herders suddenly get banned from chopping wood or fishing, and watch wolves decimate their animals in the absence of their herding dogs.

It's nightmare after nightmare of human displacement in the name of "conservation."

That all ties back to that mindset. This idea that nature is pure, "pristine," and should be totally untouched. There are some starting to call it Fortress Conservation.

You can't begin to understand the criticisms of modern conservation without acknowledging that we are still living under the influence of capitalism and colonialism. Those who fixate on speaking for "animals/nature/trees who don't have a voice" often seem to have no interest in the indigenous people who do.

Listen. There's no simple answer; and the solution will vary for each region.

Again, my project is within the UK, one of the most ecologically devastated areas in the world. There are bad zoos that the law allows a pass. There are incredible zoos that are vital to conservation, in and outside of the country. There's not enough nature preserves. The best ones that exist are often exploited for profit.

I hope that my silly little blog sparks an interest in a handful of people to understand more about their own local ecosystems, and teaches folks about the unique beauty even within a place as "boring" as England.

But, my straightforward statement is that I have no patience for nonconstructive, broad zoo slander that lumps together ALL of them, and open contempt for anyone who tries to sell nature preserves like a perfect, morally superior "alternative." We need them BOTH right now, and we need to acknowledge that zoos AND preserves have legal and ethical issues that aren't openly talked about.

#ALSO THAT GUIDE IVE BEEN WORKING ON IS DONE #Im just waiting for the input of the sensitivity readers bc I made a whole section on--#How ableis m might express in the different clans #And part of it became a thunder-callout post lmaooooo #Also this zoo doc has been sitting competed in my drafts for a while #All this to say that uh. I hope the strange place they visit in the upcoming se is not a zoo :J #I will hit it with a golf club if it is <3 #Leaning heavily towards the 'oh no two DEMIGODS ended up in a zoo' idea #Which is objectively funnier #And you know what else is objectively funny. When these posts break orbit and then ppl are surprised that i am a kitty cat blog #Hal. It's about Cats.#Bone Babble

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