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alfheimr · 6 days

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My Favorite Cheap Art Trick: Gradient Maps and Blending Modes

i get questions on occasion regarding my coloring process, so i thought i would do a bit of a write up on my "secret technique." i don't think it really is that much of a secret, but i hope it can be helpful to someone. to that end:

this is one of my favorite tags ive ever gotten on my art. i think of it often. the pieces in question are all monochrome - sort of.

the left version is the final version, the right version is technically the original. in the final version, to me, the blues are pretty stark, while the greens and magentas are less so. there is some color theory thing going on here that i dont have a good cerebral understanding of and i wont pretend otherwise. i think i watched a youtube video on it once but it went in one ear and out the other. i just pick whatever colors look nicest based on whatever vibe im going for.

this one is more subtle, i think. can you tell the difference? there's nothing wrong with 100% greyscale art, but i like the depth that adding just a hint of color can bring.

i'll note that the examples i'll be using in this post all began as purely greyscale, but this is a process i use for just about every piece of art i make, including the full color ones. i'll use the recent mithrun art i made to demonstrate. additionally, i use clip studio paint, but the general concept should be transferable to other art programs.

for fun let's just start with Making The Picture. i've been thinking of making this writeup for a while and had it in mind while drawing this piece. beyond that, i didn't really have much of a plan for this outside of "mithrun looks down and hair goes woosh." i also really like all of the vertical lines in the canary uniform so i wanted to include those too but like. gone a little hog wild. that is the extent of my "concept." i do not remember why i had the thought of integrating a shattered mirror type of theme. i think i wanted to distract a bit from the awkward pose and cover it up some LOL but anyway. this lack of planning or thought will come into play later.

note 1: the textured marker brush i specifically use is the "bordered light marker" from daub. it is one of my favorite brushes in the history of forever and the daub mega brush pack is one of the best purchases ive ever made. highly recommend!!!

note 2: "what do you mean by exclusion and difference?" they are layer blending modes and not important to the overall lesson of this post but for transparency i wanted to say how i got these "effects." anyway!

with the background figured out, this is the point at which i generally merge all of my layers, duplicate said merged layer, and Then i begin experimenting with gradient maps. what are gradient maps?

the basic gist is that gradient maps replace the colors of an image based on their value.

so, with this particular gradient map, black will be replaced with that orangey red tone, white will be replaced with the seafoamy green tone, etc. this particular gradient map i'm using as an example is very bright and saturated, but the colors can be literally anything.

these two sets are the ones i use most. they can be downloaded for free here and here if you have csp. there are many gradient map sets out there. and you can make your own!

you can apply a gradient map directly onto a specific layer in csp by going to edit>tonal correction>gradient map. to apply one indirectly, you can use a correction layer through layer>new correction layer>gradient map. honestly, correction layers are probably the better way to go, because you can adjust your gradient map whenever you want after creating the layer, whereas if you directly apply a gradient map to a layer thats like. it. it's done. if you want to make changes to the applied gradient map, you have to undo it and then reapply it. i don't use correction layers because i am old and stuck in my ways, but it's good to know what your options are.

this is what a correction layer looks like. it sits on top and applies the gradient map to the layers underneath it, so you can also change the layers beneath however and whenever you want. you can adjust the gradient map by double clicking the layer. there are also correction layers for tone curves, brightness/contrast, etc. many such useful things in this program.

let's see how mithrun looks when we apply that first gradient map we looked at.

gadzooks. apologies for eyestrain. we have turned mithrun into a neon hellscape, which might work for some pieces, but not this one. we can fix that by changing the layer blending mode, aka this laundry list of words:

some of them are self explanatory, like darken and lighten, while some of them i genuinely don't understand how they are meant to work and couldn't explain them to you, even if i do use them. i'm sure someone out there has written out an explanation for each and every one of them, but i've learned primarily by clicking on them to see what they do.

for the topic of this post, the blending mode of interest is soft light. so let's take hotline miamithrun and change the layer blending mode to soft light.

here it is at 100% opacity. this is the point at which i'd like to explain why i like using textured brushes so much - it makes it very easy to get subtle color variation when i use this Secret Technique. look at the striation in the upper right background! so tasty. however, to me, these colors are still a bit "much." so let's lower the opacity.

i think thats a lot nicer to look at, personally, but i dont really like these colors together. how about we try some other ones?

i like both of these a lot more. the palettes give the piece different vibes, at which point i have to ask myself: What Are The Vibes, Actually? well, to be honest i didn't really have a great answer because again, i didn't plan this out very much at all. however. i knew in my heart that there was too much color contrast going on and it was detracting from the two other contrasts in here: the light and dark values and the sharp and soft shapes. i wanted mithrun's head to be the main focal point. for a different illustration, colors like this might work great, but this is not that hypothetical illustration, so let's bring the opacity down again.

yippee!! that's getting closer to what my heart wants. for fun, let's see what this looks like if we change the blending mode to color.

i do like how these look but in the end they do not align with my heart. oh well. fun to experiment with though! good to keep in mind for a different piece, maybe! i often change blending modes just to see what happens, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. i very much cannot stress enough that much of my artistic process is clicking buttons i only sort of understand. for fun.

i ended up choosing the gradient map on the right because i liked that it was close to the actual canary uniform colors (sorta). it's at an even lower opacity though because there was Still too much color for my dear heart.

the actual process for this looks like me setting my merged layer to soft light at around 20% opacity and then clicking every single gradient map in my collection and seeing which one Works. sometimes i will do this multiple times and have multiple soft light and/or color layers combined.

typically at this point i merge everything again and do minor contrast adjustments using tone curves, which is another tool i find very fun to play around with. then for this piece in particular i did some finishing touches and decided that the white border was distracting so i cropped it. and then it's done!!! yay!!!!!

this process is a very simple and "fast" way to add more depth and visual interest to a piece without being overbearing. well, it's fast if you aren't indecisive like me, or if you are better at planning.

let's do another comparison. personally i feel that the hint of color on the left version makes mithrun look just a bit more unwell (this is a positive thing) and it makes the contrast on his arm a lot more pleasing to look at. someone who understands color theory better than i do might have more to say on the specifics, but that's honestly all i got.

just dont look at my layers too hard. ok?

#process #art tutorial #unsure what else to tag this as. if this does not post properly i will cry.

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not-terezi-pyrope · 3 months

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Ok. It's pretty clear you are more welcoming of AI, and it does have enough merits to not be given a knee jerk reaction outright.

And how the current anti-ai stealing programs could be misused.

But isn't so much of the models built on stolen art? That is one of the big thing keeping me from freely enjoying it.

The stolen art is a thing that needs to be addressed.

Though i agree that the ways that such addressing are being done in are not ideal. Counterproductive even.

I could make a quip here and be like "stolen art??? But the art is all still there, and it looks fine to me!" And that would be a salient point about the silliness of digital theft as a concept, but I know that wouldn't actually address your point because what you're actually talking about is art appropriation by generative AI models.

But the thing is that generative AI models don't really do that, either. They train on publicly posted images and derive a sort of metadata - more specifically, they build a feature space mapping out different visual concepts together with text that refers to them. This is then used at the generative stage in order to produce new images based on the denoising predictions of that abstract feature model. No output is created that hasn't gone through that multi-stage level of abstraction from the training data, and none of the original training images are directly used at all.

Due to various flaws in the process, you can sometimes get a model to output images extremely similar to particular training images, and it is also possible to get a model to pastiche a particular artist's work or style, but this is something that humans can also do and is a problem with the individual image that has been created, rather than the process in general.

Training an AI model is pretty clearly fair use, because you're not even really re-using the training images - you're deriving metadata that describes them, and using them to build new images. This is far more comparable to the process by which human artists learn concepts than the weird sort of "theft collage" that people seem to be convinced is going on. In many cases, the much larger training corpus of generative AI models means that an output will be far more abstracted from any identifiable source data (source data in fact is usually not identifiable) than a human being drawing from a reference, something we all agree is perfectly fine!

The only difference is that the AI process is happening in a computer with tangible data, and is therefore quantifiable. This seems to convince people that it is in some way more ontologically derivative than any other artistic process, because computers are assumed to be copying whereas the human brain can impart its own mystical juju of originality.

I'm a materialist and think this is very silly. The valid concerns around AI are to do with how society is unprepared for increased automation, but that's an entirely different conversation from the art theft one, and the latter actively distracts from the former. The complete refusal from some people to even engage with AI's existence out of disgust also makes it harder to solve the real problem around its implementation.

This sucks, because for a lot of people it's not really about copyright or intellectual property anyway. It's about that automation threat, and a sort of human condition anxiety about being supplanted and replaced by automation. That's a whole mess of emotions and genuine labour concerns that we need to work through and break down and resolve, but reactionary egg-throwing at all things related to machine learning is counterproductive to that, as is reading out legal mantras paraphrasing megacorps looking to expand copyright law to over shit like "art style".

I've spoken about this more elsewhere if you look at my blog's AI tag.

#not-terezi-speaks #asks #anonymous #ai

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mono-dot-jpeg · 7 months

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safe - express crew

summary; what would happen if you got injured during an expedition?

genre/extra tags; scenario, hurt/comfort but not well executed, reader has path of destruction, reader's combat type isn't mentioned, caelus is trailblazer with path of preservation (bc that's the one i use), yes im using the same banner at the top for caelus

[platonic] [teen reader] [gender neutral reader]

warnings; leg injuries described, getting scolded, feeling helpless

[buy me a kofi]

a/n; wrote this as scenarios... hope you enjoy it! only did the trio and welt bc 4 characters is my limit per scenario post. march's part is shorter than the rest im sorry

caelus is not well versed in situations like these.

he knew of your reckless nature. how you just loved thrills, how you want to destroy every enemy in your way, how you enabled his weird tendencies and fighting instincts just to watch a good show.

but this was too much.

in the heat of battle as you charge in, you take a big hit (even if with the help of caelus's shield) and the enemy smashes their weapon against your leg. you collapse to the ground, the pain rushing through all your nerves as you yell out.

caelus does his best to keep the enemy busy with his taunts and trying to build his shields. when he finally manages to finish the enemy off, he's running to you and picking you up as carefully but urgently as he can. he's talking to you to distract you from the pain and hoping that the adrenaline you're feeling with do until he gets to you to proper help.

when he finally gets you to medical help, he's conflicted. his usual expressive witty self is quiet with frustration. within the small time of you joining the express a little after he did, he's gotten attached to you, seeing you as a younger sibling. he can't help but think it's his fault for not being on guard to keep you safe. he can't find it in his heart to scold you despite how he's aware that if you just thought before you did anything, you would've at least been less injured.

it takes a day for you to get properly patched up and resting. and it's awkward when caelus walks in, no longer wearing his usually amused smile, but wearing a stone faced look. you avoid looking at him, it's not subtle at all with how you don't want to talk about the accident at all.

but he speaks about it anyways, "i really hate being angry, you know?"

"i know."

"i think it's safe to say that we're both in the wrong for this?" he suggests, sitting on the edge of your bed. "i could've stopped you and you could've waited for me." you're both silent as you recall the pain of it all.

"yeah. i'm sorry." he moves to sit by your side, patting your head.

"i'm sorry too, just get some rest alright?" he mutters, tugging the blanket to cover you better. "i'm just glad you're okay."

he hated when you got reckless, he was not as nice about it as the new trailblazer. well, he wasn't openly rude about it but he gets the most abrasive when you decide to be reckless. he would never say it openly but he cares for you. he cares for you a lot. you're younger than the other express members so of course it was natural that he felt the need to care for you. totally not because he's basically the established parent friend out of the four of the youngsters of the express, you included.

so the moment you get such an injury, he's killing the rest the enemies and taking you to welt and himeko. he's muttering about how frustrated he is with this turn of events. he's annoyed because he doesn't have the path that march and caelus have, so he can't protect you as easily.

you can't understand a word of what he's saying since your mind is fuddled with pain and slowly running down from its adrenaline. you pass out before you hear his pleas to stay awake.

when you're finally okay and stable, it's dead silent in your room. you and dan heng sit nearby each other, you on your bed and him in a desk chair. you're concerned by his silence but you don't want to say anything, knowing that he would start scolding you. unlike caelus, he's not afraid to be honest and sound rude while he's at it. he doesn't like sounding like the bad guy, but someone has to put the foot down when welt and himeko weren't around.

as you lay there on your bed, you feel small, like you were just a weak kid who couldn't do anything. you struggle to look at dan heng, the room is thick with tension and worry. you hate how stupid you feel. it's hard to describe it, when you want to cry but it's not out of sadness or anger. you feel bad. and it makes you want to cry. and you do. you don't say anything, he doesn't say anything.

he looks at you while you're a silent mess. his hand presses on your forehead and moves down to rub away your tears gently. "please don't do that again. not when i can't do as much to keep you safe." he mutters, moving his chair to sit closer to the bed.

you spill out your apologies and worries as you hug him weakly. "i'm- i'm sorry dan heng!" he pats your head, providing his silent comfort.

"it's okay. i'll always forgive you." he sounds tired as he jokes deadpanned, "maybe this is a sign from the aeons to stop being stupid."

"hey!"

despite march's cheerful aura and bright words, she was skilled in battle. and very good support. even when she was smiling in support during a battle, she was ever so alert for everyone's safety.

unfortunately she let her guard down for just a small moment and you ended up running in with no shield support, causing you to take a bigger hit than normal.

after that she had immediately shielded you, the cold of her ice felt nice against the heat of the pain.

"y/n! please be more careful next time!" she says immediately after she takes care of the last enemy. she's probably the only one to actually scold you in the battle even if it was close to ending. "just because i can shield you doesn't mean you're safe all the time." she insists on carrying you via piggyback as she scolds you all the way through the trip back.

"you know you're gonna have the rest of the express worried sick when you do things like that!" if this was anyone else, you would much worse but march has such a sweet tone to her voice that you can't help but feel fine. on the way back, she cares for the injury the best she can with her ice. and it helps when you finally get the proper help.

you recovered quicker than usual with her assistance.

"now what do you have to say to me?"

"you make me want to not say it now."

"i just saved your life and this is the thanks i get?!"

"bleh."

"i'm never gonna give you a shield again."

welt..

welt dislikes taking you on expeditions. he's been clear about that from the start. but he's not gonna restrain you from experiences, good and bad. but he'd much rather you have good experiences. and not ones like these.

the ones where he has to pick you up from the ground and worry that you're gravely injured. just like the rest of the crew, he hates seeing you hurt. maybe it even hurts even more being a sort of father figure to you and feeling the obligation to care for you.

instead of the cold silence from dan heng or the worried silence from caelus, you feel the disappointed silence from welt. and that hurts more than your injury.

it's suffocating when you're being carried the way back and you know you're about to get a mouthful of scolding. it's not even gonna be an angry scolding, which is even worse.

when he takes you down the hall of passenger rooms of the express, you struggle to find the words that would at least lessen the looming feeling of disappointment. "i- um.. uh.." you stammer. he continues to walk and find your room, but you feel his hold tighten. you know he's listening.

"i don't.." when you both enter your room, he places you right on your bed and sits in a nearby chair. he looks at you, which almost makes you break in a cold sweat. "i'm really..." he doesn't rush you to speak, he doesn't cut you off or anything. he waits patiently by your side.

"i'm sorry." you look down at your lap, "i was really excited when you finally let me go on one of these trips with you. and i ruined it. sorry."

his lips pressed in a line before he speaks, "please be more careful next time. i can't guarantee you'll go on your own though, not until you learn to control yourself."

next time? "does this mean i can still go next time?"

"not anytime soon." he sighs, "did you not catch any other word?"

"that's not a no."

"i'm not saying a yes."

#honkai star rail x reader #honkai x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail welt #welt yang x reader #welt x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail march 7th #hsr march 7th #march 7th x reader #caelus honkai star rail #hsr caelus #caelus x reader #dan heng x reader #hsr dan heng #hsr dan heng x reader

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moshieee · 2 months

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Hello! Sorry to bother you, but I'd just like to see if you have a ref sheet for your sona? I'm thinking of making you, Rabid, Dia, and Bun a little animatic. Actually, if I'm gonna be honest, there are a whole lot of ideas for you four in my head rn. Especially when Rabid and Dia posted something about the song "Anything you can do, I can do better." Sorry, I'm rambling. Also, since I think at least Rabid showed something about a mob au for their sona, I've had an idea for more animatics. But anyways, sorry for this ask being really long. Thank you for at least reading this, You make me actually remember to eat, drink, and take my meds when you remind your mutuals, so thx! Also, love your art, very very unique and all I think about when I see your doodles or pieces is ". . . . . smol"

Okie, I'll be taking my leave! Gotta shape-shift back into a rat to go to the vents and continue my endless cycle of ideas and au's. Okay, Bye Bye!!!!!

(Remember to take care of yourself, drink, eat, sleep, [take meds if you need/are prescribed them], and know that you are loved!)

And- *is literally being dragged out bye an Anon* oh! Oki Nighty Night *disappears behind a door and a laundry shoot is heared opening and something is heard being but in* (muffled) Thank you, WEEEEEEEEE-

I thought a little ending that I hope made you laugh would help :]

(I was giggling the whole way though the story, a lovely ending!! Bravo 👏 🌹!!! thank you for the kind words about my style it's something I was insecure about for a long time, and I'm glad I have a positive effect on people's health hehe)

dont ever apologize for asking something, I love getting asks and long asks just means I add the tag #long post

Also oh my goodness that sounds amazing and I would be honored

as for a reference I uhhh I've been trying to make a reference but I keep getting distracted

the only best references I have I have right now is this hair guide I made for Bunsowo that I kept forgetting to share It's a bit out dated now but still close enough

And the l eyes guide I made for Rabid that is now also outdated...

If you just need an image to go off id recommended this one sense it's the most recent

Jeeze I really need to make a reference for my sona. I guess I never expected people to try and draw my stuff so I'm not used to this...

wait what's this?

Those are my lines silly/j

I wish you luck in your creations and make sure to pace yourself so you don't get hurt

Also wait nighty night? Are you supposed to be sleeping? 👁️ 👁️

#also oop while writing this the alarm fo take my meds did go off #art #asks #long post #moshie Os #self sona #character ref #mutual

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damnation-if · 9 months

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Hi, I just played the demo and I loved it! I was wondering if you could give us an estimate of when the next update is coming?👉👈 (Or link a relevant post, if you already talked about and I just didn't scroll down far enough to see it 😆)

Also, I wanted to check, can you be in a romantic relationship with more than one character, and not just a sexual one? Because I might be in love with every single character in this game 🤭

hi, thank you! i'm glad you're enjoying the game :) i've answered the question about romancing multiple characters a couple of times in a couple of different asks but the posts all kind of link back to each other so you should be able to find all the info by. following the various links in each ask i think, starting here XD

i'm going to put the answer to your other question under a cut because some of it is quite emotional for me

i did Sort Of talk about this at the time when it happened, by which i mean that rather than making a post, i talked about it in the tags of an unrelated post i was using to distract myself (i think it was character playlists and how i'm not sure if it's a good idea to do them or not if i recall), but earlier this year while i was already going through a really rough time, my laptop died and i lost a lot of work on the game.

i knew my laptop was old and that this was possibly approaching so i made regular backups and the good news is that because i write in a separate word document and keep backups of those also i didn't actually lose any Writing. however. my twine has a problem in that every second or third game file that i publish from the build is Haunted - it contains passages i removed weeks ago, or writing that i deleted long before publishing it, that kind of weird annoying shit. (other authors have seen my files do this lmfao) and i just have to hope that the backups i make either won't be needed or aren't haunted. anyway... because hope is futile, the last backup i made was indeed haunted, and utterly useless to me as a recovery file. because it's just twine, i still have all the writing, as i mentioned... but i would have to re-code the entire chapter and put it all back together again because of how much the file did not export, which is a complicated and daunting process.

so i made a rambling explanation of this in the tags of a post and decided to take maybe a couple of days off and cool down from this specific disaster before getting into it.

i wake up the next morning to find the IF community absolutely plastered all over with Helpful Informative PSA posts about how Silly it is not to make backups and how if you just make backups you'll never have problems again and you should know better than to not make backups.

now. i'm not a catastrophist. i know for a fact that nobody was making or spreading these posts out of cruelty or a desire to make me feel bad. i also know that it's not particularly realistic to expect people who don't even know me to hunt down the source of a piece of hearsay that's like "i heard from someone that someone said that an author lost a bunch of their files and is really upset about it" to find out what the situation is and whether or not it's what they imagine. i don't even think the vast majority of people knew who it was that was the author involved, or who i am either.

but to already be going through an extremely stressful time and then lose my laptop on top of that and then be obliquely referenced by people i thought of as my peers as kind of just a big silly bumbling goose who didn't know how to manage my files and a "don't be like this person" attitude really, really hurt me. i can't express just how deeply it hurt me. one particular author was openly laughing at me and saying it was my own fault for being too stupid to make backups using a certain twine peripheral program.

so. there was a period of time where i could have found the motivation to just restart the whole chapter myself and re-code it in a frenzy because i wanted to get right back into writing it because. like a lot of authors, i LOVE writing. that's why i do this even when it's difficult. but that potential recovery was sandblasted away by the reactions of people that i thought of as my colleagues in some sense (even though i understand that they didn't do it with bad intentions, in most cases). and i hope people can understand that it greatly lengthened the amount of time i needed to spend away from the game recovering emotionally, despite being a Very Small issue to most people. i'm literally upset again just typing out this answer lmfao

however one other small piece of good news is that my laptop seemingly just lost the ability to turn itself on (because of its age) so i Think the hard drive is intact. meaning that i think i can get someone to pull all the files off it and just have them back fine once i do. the other piece of bad news is that my life is a trainwreck! and i cannot afford that right now. which is why i sort of pivoted to writing the 2000 follower celebration sidegame as a way to enjoy myself while i hurtle through hell sdjgbdfhfdgh

shortly after this thing with the laptop the house i was living in was sold out from underneath me, even though it wasn't supposed to be, and i had to find somewhere to live with my 18 year old cat, but the city i lived in had zero places that would allow cats (they're totally fine with Dogs though of course) so i had to move to an entirely new city on my own while worrying about her health. and right now i spend every fortnight desperately trying to scrape together enough to survive the next fortnight. there were entire months where i had no access to internet! it's been pretty Bad!!

so i get that people really want updates, and i'm really flattered that people do and it makes me happy that people like the game so much. but i am currently expending so much time and energy trying not to die lmfao, and i need to save up the money to get my files back around that. i truly cannot tell you when the next update will be, but i promise you that it Haunts me, probably more than you can imagine XD the sidegame will Definitely come out before it though, if that's something you're looking forward to.

thank you again for your message, and i'm sorry that i don't have good news for you. but i am trying, constantly. every day.

#what does the chaos mirror see #eternal-flame #i hope it doesn't come across like i'm mad about this question because i'm not<3 #it's just that my life is really terrible! and i constantly feel tense and upset about it! lmfao #i was SO nervous when i published the game for the first time that the build i published would be a haunted one lmfao #literally combing through every single accessible passage with a magnifying glass to make sure it wasn't #would it have been better to get the haunting out of the way with publishing the game or keep it for this backup problem?? i don't know #wish it just wouldn't do it i guess. but then again i haven't noticed it as a problem since getting my new laptop #so hopefully i won't have to worry about it in future #hurgh... still not over this properly i guess lmao

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writinginthesecrettrees · 4 months

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So, I recently saw this post https://www.tumblr.com/bloodfreak-boyking/739104022124986368/this-is-sex-to-me-this-is-them-actively-fucking (and the tags are an absolute GOLDMINE just let me say) and it gave me some thoughts. Especially the comment about Sam discovering his asphyxiation kink.

So picture this: the scene is happening mostly as we saw it, but in everything that was going on Sam glanced up and saw Dean straining above him (from trying to get the cord from around his neck) and it brought up some of his latent feelings for his brother that he'd been trying to keep buried for the last however many years. And even his own internal dialogue is like "WTF Dude?! This is NOT the time for that!" But clearly his body disagrees as he can feel himself reacting. And he's kinda glad that Dean is too distracted to notice. And WHY exactly does this choking sensation feel not exactly bad? (Especially when some part of him pictures Dean being the one doing it?) When it's all over he's barely conscious but the feel of Dean pulling him close in that (all too breif) hug just sends a warmth through him. And he feels that latitude that he's only ever really felt after coming. And... oh. Yeah. He realizes that's exactly what happened. And he just hopes Dean doesn't notice before he has a chance to clean up. And Missouri definitely gives him an odd look before they all go their separate ways, but she never brings up whatever she read off him. And yeah, he also definitely claims the first shower "Dude, I almost got choked-out by a lamp. I get the shower first." But the thoughts don't ever quite leave him.

And did Dean notice?

Anyway! Just thought I'd share my thoughts on it with you! 💜

um. oh my god.

oh my GOD that is hot. And please always feel free to share your thoughts like this!!!

Dean didn't notice Sam's reaction, he was too busy trying to save Sam from a fucking lamp, and during Sam's shower he's thinking of ways to tease Sam for almost getting killed by the most innocuous furniture possible. But when Sam comes out of the bathroom, flushed from heat, with a towel barely hanging onto his hips and bruises from the cord stark around his neck, Dean forgets all the jokes he was going to make and pushes past Sam to get his own shower.

He remembers Sam's body under him, straining, and he's sure he's damned for wanting to feel that again but that doesn't stop him from grabbing his dick and replaying the memory - Sam's desperate gasps, the way Sam moved, the way Sam's life was in his hands - and he comes thinking about how Sam's hole would clench around him if it was his hands choking off the air and...

"fuuuuuuuuuck."

#wincest #breathplay #mutual pining

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aceghosts · 1 month

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WIP Wednesday

Hey Everybody! I was tagged by @carlosoliveiraa, @captmactavish, @alexxmason, @cassietrn, @cloudofbutterflies92, @nightbloodbix, and others I'm probably missing, lol.

Tagging (Opt In/Out): @bbrocklesnar, @marivenah, @amalkavian, @clicheantagonist, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @voidika, @confidentandgood, @theelderhazelnut, @direwombat, @captastra, @strangefable, @katsigian, @inafieldofdaisies, @simplegenius042, and anyone else who wants to do this!

Since I'm procrastinating about posting Rooney and Yorinobu's first real conversation due to a bad case of perfectionism, I've been working on some prompts/taking some screenshots. This first snippet is from early on in CP2077 after Rooney and Yorinobu cross paths again. And despite being an ex, Rooney is worried for him:

“I am fine,” He dismisses with a wave of his hand, “Any update on the Relic?” “Yorinobu, you look like shit. Seriously, when did you last sleep?” He adores many things about Rooney, but once they focus on something, it is nearly impossible to draw their attention away. They won’t let go until they get an answer, and Yorinobu is not in the mood to deal with this. “I do not pay you to worry about my health. I pay you to find the Relic. I will ask again:-“ “I’m not asking because you pay me,” Rooney sounds frustrated, digging their heels in, “I’m asking because I care, and apparently, you do need someone to worry about your health. Doesn't look like Hanako or anyone else at Arasaka is doing it.”

The second prompt is definitely keeping with the trend of Rooney and Yorinobu being relentless flirts with each other. While I've kept this snippet relatively PG, this prompt is gonna be nsfw. I'll probably do another taglist for anyone who wants to be tagged in stuff like that; I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Anyway, here is the second snippet (Please ignore the placeholder name; It's not important, lol):

“Is that what I am? A distraction?” He asks playfully, pressing a kiss to the corner of their jaw, “You should teach me a lesson for being so distracting.” Damnit, it almost works on them. Everyone knew that under all the tough exterior, Rooney was a softie for the people they love, especially Yorinobu. “Yori, you know I didn’t mean it like that; I really need to focus right now.” They really want to get up to whatever trouble he’s cooked up in his head, but duty calls. “Understood,” He acquiesces with no hard feelings, “Please promise that you’ll make time for us tomorrow night. We need to go to the [Name]’s party.”

Also, I am continuing to mess around in photomode. I'm not feeling great about any of my shots, but I thought I would share two that I kind of liked of Rooney:

I'm also not feeling great about my Rooney/Yorinobu shots either, but I did figure out how to get into the Arasaka Estate and took some Rooney/Yorinobu shots there, lol:

#WIP Wednesday #we're still in cyberpunk hell lads #the rooney fic tag #commander rooney shepard #I won't let fear compromise who I am #OTP: It always comes right back to you #I'm sure everything looks fine #I'm just feeling very weird about my stuff right now #work is also gonna get stressful for me over the next few weeks #and I have a feeling that is also contributing to my lack of happiness with everything #I'm also-in addition to procrastinating on that fic-am procrastinating on a Relic AU edit for Rooney

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sad-leon · 10 months

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Just Let Me Live In Despair

[I don't wanna wait for Ao3 to come back, so I'm just posting this straight to tumblr]

Summary: Leo had promised Raph that he'd stop with the self harm. These promises are not so easily kept. Fortunately, Leo has a family who loves him unconditionally.

Tags/Warnings: Discussion of Self harm, Depictions of self harm, Unreliable narrorator, meltdowns/breakdowns, Hurt/Comfort, Leo-centric

(no beta, so please dont be too harsh on any typos)

Wordcount: 2497

~~~

”Promise me, Leo, please.”

“Yeah, yeah, I promise,” Leo sighed as he wrapped his forearm before sliding his sleeve up and over the bandages.

Raph sighed. “Do you even know what you’re promising?” There was a hint of desperation in his voice.

“I promise to no longer cut my arms when I’m stressed.”

Raph smiled. “Thanks, little brother.”

Leo hummed as Raph wrapped him in a hug. He knew this was not a promise he’d be able to keep.

Leo growled as he stomped through the crowded venue.

Stupid crowd. Stupid anxiety. Stupid ADHD.

It was stupid really.

Leo was supposed to be walking with his brothers toward a Jupiter Jim booth during the most recent convention after New York had rebuilt itself. They didn’t even have to wear disguises. It was supposed to be fun and relaxing!

But nope. Leo just had to get distracted and wander off toward a booth that caught his eye without saying anything to his brothers.

As he neared the booth, he noticed the pins and charms on display were of characters that looked a lot like himself and his brothers.

“Oh, are you a fan of the Turtle Heroes too?”

Leo jumped and stood straight up, staring at the artist behind the booth. “Oh.. uh, Turtle Heroes?”

“Yeah…? That’s who you’re cosplaying, right?”

Leo looked between the artist and the charms. He suddenly felt as if everyone had turned to wait for his answer. His hands started to itch as he tried to come up with a reasonable answer. “Umm.. yeah! Yeah. Sorry, I- uh.. I didn’t know anyone else knew of.. them?”

Luckily the artist accepted his stuttered response. They shrugged. “Yeah, I tend to get ignored whenever I try to talk about them.”

Panic settled in Leo’s gut. That meant this person had seen them outside before, probably during the invasion. Who else had seen them, then?

“Hey, you’re shaking. Are you okay?”

Leo snapped back to attention and tried to ignore the itch that had taken over both his forearms. “Uh, yeah. Sorry. I’ve got- I’ve got to go. I like your art, by the way.”

He quickly turned and walked away before the artist could respond.

“Hey-” Leo cut himself off when he realized he couldn’t see any of his brothers. “Oh.. uh… okay.”

He glanced at the ceiling and tried to orient himself. Now, if he just walked forward, he’d find his brothers, right?

If he just kept walking…

If he just…

“Fuck,” he hissed when he passed a booth he’d already passed. He glanced at the ceiling. He was not facing the right way. “Of course…”

Standing on his tiptoes, Leo spotted a door that led outside.

He obviously wasn’t getting anywhere, so he might as well leave. The others would notice he wasn’t there, eventually.

Quickly, Leo stomped toward the door. He scratched his arms. He knew this feeling, but the promise he’d made Raph echoed in his mind. He wouldn’t give into the urge to claw his arms open.

Pushing the door open, Leo almost broke into a run as he found a secluded alleyway. He crouched down and took a breath. “Okay. The guy who beat the Kraang getting lost in a convention and running away is not a good image, but who's watching, anyways,” Leo hummed to himself.

He pulled out his phone, intending to call Donnie. His twin would either give him directions, or come find him and they’d go home. Silently, Leo was hoping for the second option. He really didn’t want to go back into the building. Even the thought of going back made his anxiety sky-rocket.

Leo tapped the power button. Nothing.

Again. Nothing.

Fuck. How did he forget to charge his phone? Oh, Donnie was so going to kill him.

Before Leo could focus on that thought, irritation bubbled through his veins, resulting in a low growl.

He needed to hurt. The anger was just beneath his skin and he needed to let it out.

No. He promised Raph he wouldn’t.

But the itching was getting worse. It hurt.

It hurt to not hurt.

Leo shook his hands, trying to shake the feeling out.

It wouldn’t leave.

If anything it was getting worse.

“Fuck!” Leo yelled and swung his arm to the side, smacking it on the edge of a dumpster.

A choked hiss escaped Leo as he cradled his throbbing hand to his chest. God that hurt, but… the itching was gone.

Leo looked at his hand. No obvious bruising or swelling. He tried to make a fist and winced. Okay. Not fists… or holding things for a while, but he’d be fine.

He’d be able to deal with it.

Taking a breath, he gathered himself and started toward the nearest manhole cover. Donnie would pull up his tracker and see back home at some point.

Leo hoped they would have fun.

Leo was awoken by a consistent poking of his face.

“Hmmm, wha-?”

“Oh good. You’re awake. Now. Would you like to explain to me why we turned around to find you missing only to pull up the map and see you back in the lair?” Donnie was standing with his arms folded right next to Leo’s bed.

“Good morning to you too, Donnie,” he grumbled. His hand was throbbing.

“It’s been three hours since we came back to find you asleep. Raph insisted we let you get some rest before interrogating you, but I have run out of patience.”

Leo felt a twinge of annoyance at his twin. This was not how he wished to wake up after the shitty time he had earlier. “Woulda texted. Phone was dead.”

Donnie huffed. Before he could say anything else, his comm beeped. “Saved by the crime alert, dear brother. Hmm. It’s not an emergency, but we should probably go check it out.”

Dramatically, Leo sighed and lifted himself off his mattress. “If we must. Gimme a few minutes, I’ll meet you guys in the kitchen.”

“I’ll tell Raph and Mikey.”

Leon watched Donnie leave before he looked down at his hands. The one he had hit barely looked swollen. Okay. That’s… good.

He flexed his fingers and bit back a his as his right hand hurt from the movement. That was less good. He tried to make a fist. It hurt, but he could do it.

It would have to do.

Raph wouldn’t have to know.

Besides, Leo should deal with the consequences of his actions. Maybe then he’ll learn to stop hurting himself.

Leo was tired of the Foot Clan.

The two leaders were still missing, but the remaining members had formed their own factions, it seemed. The Foot did not seem content with letting the turtles rest, so once again, it was up to a group of teenage brothers to put a stop to whatever chaos the Foot was trying to start this time.

“Hey, do you guys wanna take a vacation?” Leo hollered toward the small group of ninja trying to sneak through the alleyway. “You’ve been committing crimes for what.. a few years now? Surely you can take a week or two off. Get some rest. Relax~”

A knife soaring by Leo’s head made him shut up real fast. The ninja were silent, but they had stopped trying to sneak away. Leo’s hand throbbed. He might have preferred if they just left during his speech.

He really didn’t want to fight.

“Leo,” Raph hissed. “We talked about this.”

Leo just shrugged. “Sorry bro, old habits and all that.” Leo realized his mistake as soon as he said it, so before Raph could put the pieces together, Leo jumped down to engage the Foot ninja.

He tried to use only one sword, but the ninja were stronger than he expected. Even as his brothers joined the fight, Leo was forced to pull his second sword out. And man, did his hand hurt.

The fight went on for longer than Leo would have liked. His hands were shaking and his right hand was going to give out if it didn’t end soon.

Leo had finally gotten the upper hand of the ninja he was fighting when he caught sight of one of the ninja trying to sneak up on his eldest brother.

“Raph!” Leo screamed, but he knew his big brother wouldn’t be able to do much against the sneak attack.

Leo ran, but the only way he’d be able to deflect the attack was if he swung with his right sword.

Biting his lip, Leo swung. As soon as there was pressure on the sword, his hand gave out and he dropped his weapon. He brought his second sword up to defend himself, but he wasn’t fast enough. A sharp pain erupted in his right shoulder.

In a flash of blinding light, the Foot ninja was gone and Mikey was shaking, standing in front of Leo. “Thanks, Mike,” Leo whispered. His attempts to hide the pain he was in were futile. His little brother saw right through his stupid facade. Maybe the sword sticking out of his shoulder wasn’t helping his attempt to be fine, either.

“Leo!” Raph cried and turned around to hold the slider. Leo could barely make out his big brother's face as his vision blurred. The worry made itself clear enough in just Raph’s words, though. “Why did you do that?! What even happened? You had your sword, right? What..?”

Even though he wasn’t seeing clearly, Leo could see Raph connecting the dots. Donnie beat him to it, of course. The overachiever.

“’Old habits', huh?” He reached into Leo’s bag and grabbed what he needed to be able to take care of the wound as they removed the sword. Leo bit down a scream at the pain. “And enlighten me, ‘Nardo. What old habits are we talking about? Because I don’t think it’s just the bad jokes.” Donnie didn’t hesitate for a second before grabbing Leo’s right hand. He applied pressure to the side Leo had hit, making Leo hiss.

Mikey made a noise from the side. “Leo? What happened?”

Leo frowned and hummed.

Raph sighed and gently picked the slider up. “We’ll be talking about this, but for now we need to get you home. Donnie, would you do the favor?”

“Already done,” Donnie said proudly just as the Turtle Tank pulled around the corner. “Let’s get home so we can finish taking care of that wound.”

The next thing Leo was aware of was the steady breathing of his older brother. Looking around, Leo noticed he was held in Raph’s arms while Donnie and Mikey slept near the bed.

Leo shifted and hissed at the pain in his shoulder. Right, he got stabbed. He remembered Donnie rambling about different galaxies as he stitched Leo’s shoulder in the tank, then it all went fuzzy.

“Guhh.. what time even is it?” Leo hummed. He’d meant to keep that in his head, but oh well. A small pit of guilt opened in his gut when Raph grumbled as he woke up.

“Leo..? Leo!” Raph quickly arranged himself and Leo so Leo was leaning against a bunch of pillows while Raph sat up, facing the slider. “How are you feeling, little brother?”

“Like I got stabbed…” Leo tried to laugh but it came out as more of a wheeze.

Raph frowned. Leo jumped when he felt a hand softly smack the back of his head. Donnie and Mikey had both woken up as well. Donnie just glared at Leo as he brought his hand back down to his lap.

“Leo..” Raph hummed. His voice was very soft and full of despair. “You made a promise.”

Leo shrunk into himself. “Technically, I didn’t cut myself,” he muttered.

“Same difference,” Donnie cut it. “Self harm is self harm.”

Leo flinched at his twin’s bluntness. Before he could say anything, Mikey spoke up. “You were doing so well, Leo, what happened?”

Thinking back on it, Leo felt stupid. He was alone and got angry so we flung his arm out and hit a dumpster? How stupid.

“I had a pathetic breakdown behind the convention,” he muttered. It was supposed to be laughed at. No one laughed.

“You… you didn’t ditch us,” Donnie said. Leo wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be a question or an observation, but he nodded anyway.

“Well, I kinda did,” Leo muttered. “I got distracted by a booth, but couldn’t find you guys, so I came home.”

“I’m sorry,” Donnie said.

Leo tilted his head.

“I was rude to you earlier. I thought you left us on purpose. It was smart of you to come home rather than risk getting more lost.”

Leo… wasn’t sure what to do with that. “Thanks..?”

“So, what caused your… breakdown?” Mikey asked, Dr. Feelings shining through.

“I…” Leo considered lying, but decided it wasn’t going to do anything to help his case. “There were a lot of people. I was overwhelmed and lost. I- my head was loud. Everything was itchy.”

“Itchy?” Raph asked.

Leo nodded. “That's why I did it so much. It feels like my blood is itchy. It needs to get out.”

“But you didn’t cut earlier?”

“No…”

Raph surprised Leo with a smile. “That’s good. Not good that you hurt yourself in a different way, but good that you resisted the urge to cut. I’m proud of you.”

Leo couldn’t stop the tears if he tried. “But I still hurt myself..”

“You did, but you didn’t cut, even though you felt the urge.”

The words were stuck in Leo’s throat, so he shook his head.

“...No?” Raph asked, confused. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say, Leo.”

“Shouldn’t- Shouldn’t be proud.”

Raph slowly wrapped Leo in a hug, giving him the chance to pull away. He didn’t. “This… this is a hard situation, but that doesn’t mean it has to be awful. I’m not going to make this harder on you than it already is.”

Leo could see Mikey nod from the side. “Raph is right! Recovery is hard and full of ups and downs! Just because we’re in a ‘down’ doesn’t mean we can’t go back up.”

Leo sniffed. “Thanks, Mikey.”

Donnie put a hand on Leo’s knee. “Perhaps, I can… I could make a sleeve that simulates the pain until you find another coping mechanism…”

“Really, Donnie?” Leo asked.

“Nod. The pain is what helps clear away that itchiness, right? If I could find a way to simulate it, then you can clear your mind during a breakdown without actually hurting yourself.”

“Wow,” Leo sighed. “That would be awesome. Thanks. Donnie.”

Raph tightened his arms around Leo slightly. “Go to sleep, little brother.”

Leo hummed and let his eyes fall closed as he listened to his brothers talk a bit before they settled down.

“Oh, and Donnie,” Raph hummed sleepily. “We are so having a conversation when we wake up.”

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eemamminy-art · 5 months

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I've been sitting on a fic that I finally finished after slowly picking at it for the last two years.

I feel like people don't really talk about this anxiety around sharing things-- I mean, there is always that anxiety of like, is it good, will people like it, stuff like that, but I guess for me the anxiety's a little different. Don't get me wrong I do have the other anxiety too, I'm very self critical and I do not have confidence in my writing in the same way that I (occasionally) have confidence in my art.

But the thing that's got me in a chokehold is well, that fanfic is complicated for me.

I barely read any fic at all. I barely write either, but I think a lot of writers will only put out a couple of things in a year anyway, but they're at least reading things during that time.

I've never been much for reading. Well, maybe when I was very young and just learning to read, but at some point it became really difficult for me. I don't have any official diagnosis and I always got good grades so there was never any cause to look into it, but reading has always been such an ordeal for me. I'll read a page and get so distracted in outside noises or my own thoughts that I have no idea what I just read. I have to concentrate really deeply for anything to sink in, create a voice in my head to read it to me, and even that sometimes doesn't work and I'm really slow. I use a screen reader and that does help but it still takes immense concentration for me.

Then there's just well, my pickiness. If it's boring or out of character, well that just makes it all the more difficult to focus. Too long and the screen reader's voice begins to drone and I tune it out and my thoughts wander away even as I scan the words going by. If it's not tagged well and I run into my trigger (which is often not tagged for at all) then I not only feel like I wasted my time but also am upset and lingering on the trigger for sometimes hours, sometimes days.

So then, what to do when I post a fic? What justification is there for anyone to bother with mine when I won't bother with theirs? Whether my reasons are good enough or not, whether it's easier for them to read than it is for me, whether you say fandom is give and take or not, I feel like I'm not upholding my end of the deal. You read mine, I read yours. Except I don't, other than maybe a handful of things each year.

And I know it's a problem. I know it makes people feel slighted. It's the same way I feel slighted when I try to engage with other artists and they don't give me the time of day or share my art in return, and then I begin to resent them for the rejection. I'm certain the same thing happens to me with fanfic, that I have all these reasons for why I rarely read fic, and then when I read the 2 or 3 fics that I can manage each year, it's a slap in the face to those who weren't among those rare few.

So I feel held back by it. I'm so bad at responding to ao3 comments too because I feel guilt about it, about not participating in the way everyone else does. So I was excited to finally think of an ending to this fic only to just... do nothing with it.

I have to wonder if anyone else experiences this? Or something similar? Or knows at all what I mean?

#personal #writing stuff #fandom stuff #ok to reblog #I'm just kind of rambling I suppose but I think about this whenever it comes to fic #it's such a difficult subject for me #idk what to do with myself really #when I try to read more I get burnt out immediately and it's not fun

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postwarlevi · 10 months

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You or them self ship!

Based off questions from the bride and groom game at bridal showers and the shoe game at weddings.

It's been forever since we've done a proper self ship post! Here we go! Elaborate away if you want :)

1 Who is the better cook?

2 Who takes longer showers?

3 Who is more organized?

4 Who generally spends more money?

5 Who likes sleeping in more?

6 Who is the better driver?

7 Who is the most stubborn?

8 Who is the most romantic?

9 Who is more laid back?

10 Who is more likely to ask for directions?

11 Who is the blanket hog?

12 Who is more likely to lose their phone?

13 Who initiated the first kiss?

14 Who fell in love first?

15 Who planned the honeymoon?

tagging! anyone who wants to do this, and @levi-supreme @chaotic-on-main @charlotteplsdosth @theferricfox @happybird16 @mootheskinnycowsblog @levisbrat25 @humanities-strongest-blog @hauntedhousecat @sckerman @the-milk-anon

Let me know if you want more like this. More questions, less? My answers below!

Going with my modern day SS Jean! And if I had done any of these in the past and changed my answers, never mind LOL

1 Who is the better cook?

*Sigh* Him. His mom is an amazing cook and he learned from her. I bake better though!

2 Who takes longer showers?

Me. My hair is longer and I like to stand there and think haha

3 Who is more organized?

Meeeee!! A place for everything please! He doesn't care quite as much.

4 Who generally spends more money?

Probably me. I do more food shopping and go on random splurging. He can do it too sometimes though.

5 Who likes sleeping in more?

Him. Though it's close. I get in a pattern of waking up early but he can sleep later on weekends.

6 Who is the better driver?

Him. Better because I make him drive everywhere. He doesn't usually have road rage and is much better on the highway.

7 Who is the most stubborn?

Wow that's hard. Um, me. But only by half a perfect.

8 Who is the most romantic?

Him. He loves cuddles and pet names and I don't think about it as much. Oops.

9 Who is more laid back?

Me. I really try not to stress and more things bother him.

10 Who is more likely to ask for directions?

Me. I don't want to get lost. Unless we're at a grocery store then it's him cause I don't want to bother the employees.

11 Who is the blanket hog?

Me. Even though I get hot I like the sheet and he's usually warmer than I am.

12 Who is more likely to lose their phone?

Him. He'll just set it down and get distracted and make me call him to find it.

13 Who initiated the first kiss?

Him. We were both nervous but he went for a sweet goodnight kiss finally :)

14 Who fell in love first?

Him. That's what he says anyway. I was in like but very unsure and he was VERY sure.

15 Who planned the honeymoon?

Me! With his help though, but he let me make most the decisions.

#self ship #eliza tag game #tag game #tag games #jeliza #jean x eliza

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monstersinthecosmos · 16 days

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List 7 comfort films and tag 7 people!

Tagged by @ihaventcomeupwthanameforaheroyet ! thanks!! I WROTE DOWN A FEW FAVS OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD (IN NO ORDER) AND HAD 9, SO, I THINK IWTV 1994 GOES WITHOUT SAYING LMFAO, ALSO HONORABLE MENTION TO AMERICAN PSYCHO BC IT MAKES ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF EVERY TIME BUT I ULTIMATELY CUT IT FROM THIS PRESITIGOUS LIST.

is it obnoxious if i put some pictures in the post too? Sorry I get really excited to talk about movies hkjdslgasd please don't feel obligated to put pictures in yours, I'm just being extra.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day [1991]

LISTEN I CRY EVERY FUCKING TIME it's just the best, ROBOT DADDY??? HOT MOMMY???? The T-1000 is so scary?? ALL THESE RIDICULOUS EPIC FIGHT SCENES AND THE ACTORS ARE JUST NOT EMOTING AT ALL BECAUSE THEY'RE ROBOTS? The director's cut with the extra scene where John is trying to teach the Terminator to smile and you realize when he does his little side smirk it's because he's copying John's smile, bc when he copied randos it didnt fit on his face?!??! Eddie Furlong's voice cracking which feels like such a happy accident because he's a weak little fragile human in contrast to the killing machine?? PLEASE.

Hellraiser [1987]

IT'S WEIRD, IT'S KINKY, IT'S GAY, IT'S CHEESY, IT'S GOT PRACTICAL EFFECTS THAT ARE KINDA COOL BUT KINDA STUPID, IT'S GOT THE GRAINY 80S COZY FEEL, IT'S GOT INCREDIBLE FEMALE SEXUALITY AND BAD ACTING, I JUST LOVE IT. It's just a movie I put on when I need to relax and wow it just makes me really happy ;.;

Pet Sematary [1989]

okay this one and the next one and the last one are all GRAINY 80S COZY FEEL, you have to understand that I grew up watching 80s horror from like the age of 5 so that flim look, the grain, the flat lighting, it just !!!!!!! gives me so much cozy fuzzy warmth for childhood and I just adore it. Anyway !!!!!!1 I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH it's so extremely dark and also extremely absurd, somehow it's so magnetic that you are immediately immersed even though it's got the aesthetic of a bad TV movie, it's just wonderful I adore it. ALSO a rare super faithful Stephen King adaptation!

An American Werewolf in London [1981]

PRACTICAL EFFECTS MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!11 blah blah cozy 80s, but also! FUNNY! ROMANTIC! TRAGIC! SCARY WHEN IT NEEDS TO BE! I'm so deeply deeply impressed by the practical effects in this film, too! But wow it's so good every time, the hot nurse in this movie is a crazy monsterfucker I adore her, it's a good Armand/Daniel AU, the end is a gut punch every fucking time, it's the best, a naked American man stole my balloons, etc. Absolutely perfect film.

Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain [2001]

VISUALLY STUNNING FILM ABOUT AN ASEXUAL WOMAN WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY, PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I think this movie like, changed my life maybe? I think I saw it when I was 15 or so and it just had such a huge impact on me. I used to watch it so much I would just turn the subtitles off because I'd get distracted and didnt even need them anymore. It's a movie I used to bring with me when I traveled, like I brought the DVD with me when I studied abroad because I was so scared I'd have anxiety or get homesick, I just always wanted to be able to watch it if I need to. IF I WATCH THIS AT THE WRONG TIME OF THE MONTH I CRY MY EYES OUT which is cathartic in the end, idk if it's comfy or comforting but wow. but wow really amazing film it's so beautiful and had such a huge impact on my worldview and my creativity and the way I write and the way I do photography and just !!! ;.; I'm gonna cry!

The Departed [2006]

I really like it when Leo DiCaprio cries and he's not a super crybaby in his one but he does scream in pain and have the shit beat out of him and has panic attacks and needs anxiety meds! The cast is sick! The music is amazing! It's such cool storytelling!!! It's exciting every time! The ending fucks! GOD. Just wonderful, I love it so much. The Blu-ray starts over every time it ends so every time I watch it I tend to walk away and let it loop all day LOL. It's disgusting how many times I've watched it. ALSO MY BABE VERA FARMIGA WHAT A MILF god i love her.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall [2008]

this is like such a perfect comedy for my sense of humor, INCLUDING A BONUS DRACULA SUBPLOT CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, but is actually such a clever and lovely story about getting over heartbreak wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this movie so fucking much oh my god. Also ever since I worked on ships I feel like especially potent to it because there's something about the social community within the resort that feels so much like the community of a cruise ship crew!! ;.;

Tagging (but no pressure!): @rugbertgoeshome @hekateinhell @mothmage @apoptoses @cup-of-lixx @somevagrantchild @covenofthearticulate

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 10 months

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Okay so I've been eating your art for a few days? Weeks? Months? Ever since I found you through my Welcome Home hyperfixation help it has me in it's death grips and just, admiring all the details you put into your pieces?

Like, I can't tag every little detail I come across and like from what you post, because I would be too distracting from the contents of the post and my gushing and speculating derived from that alone, but I see and like them even if I don't say too much about it.

For instance, don't think I didn't see the grime at the edges of Frank's frown and mouth in your Lights Out AU post! It is such a small detail to notice, but it really sells the idea of the puppets becoming grimy, scruffy, and dirtier as time goes on and they are stuck in the dark with little to nothing to clean themselves. I feel like it is most noticeable with their hair, as my gosh do they all need a hair brush by the time we see the group interactions of the unlikely four, but I enjoy seeing their disheveled selves as they try to go through life in the dark. While I won't pick up on every little detail, the stuff I do see is really interesting a think about, that you didn't need to add it but you did because you enjoyed making it l, and it's pretty heartwarming in a way for me you know?

Anyways, as a fellow artist, it's both cool and concerning because I get the gist of how much time and energy it can take to make stuff! I enjoy and adore your art and thoughts a ton, just remember to take care of yourself and not to push too hard on yourself to make stuff! Stretch and drink water, etc etc etc, and remember there are always people who will like what you make, be it dragons, welcome home stuff, and oc thingies!

AH IM

WHY ARE ALL OF YOU SO NICE!!! MY STUNTED EMOTIONS CANT HANDLE IT!!!! no but seriously i had to take a break reading this to walk through my house and Simmer Down bc man... the reaction pic is accurate.... i made Several dying animal noises!

i'm beyond happy that the details are being Noticed and are Enjoyable! i like to include as many as i can (when i Think of them, which happens less often than i'd like). i rarely have it in me to scribble Full Things, so i try to make up for it with the little things! it seems to be working, yippee! and it Is fun to include them, yeah <3

you take care of yourself as well! actually, get some water as soon as you read this. All Of Ya's. im takin a hefty sip rn so you all better get hydrated with me. no diedrating on this blog no sirree!! but yes um thank you so much for the very kind ask! mentally i am printing it out and pinning it to my wall! i will be thinking about it every time i Add Little Details!

#also pls dont hold back in the tags on my account or others #they are Lifeblood <3 #plus i just like to hear other people's thoughts!!! and id love to hear What You See And Get Out Of It!#& who knows you might even inspire something #tagged comments can do wonders yk yk #you would not be distracting In The Least <3 #rambles from the bog #also i like that title... The Unlikely Four... i will be referring to that group as such from now on!#and i Will say... the grime on frank's mouth is Grime but its not exactly natural....#also hello! i dont think ive said that yet!#i recognize you from my notifs! you're one of the regulars whom i see and mentally tip my hat to whenever i catch sight of your icon #& i cannot help you. wh has me in its grip as well #none of us are getting out! yippee yahoo hawyee!

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tavyliasin · 2 months

Text

5 Songs, 3 Outfits

RULES: post 5 songs associated with your oc, followed by 3 outfits they would wear

Tagged by @twistedapple - thank you~ And tagging in: @miradelletarot @morb-untamed @littleprincepaladin @daiya-owoda and @firlionemoontav Also if anyone is reading this and hasn't been tagged and wants to join in, well I'm terrible at choosing and remembering usernames so consider me tagging you in~ Going to put all of this below the cut so it doesn't clog your feeds, but this will all be based on my favourite Tav from @atavsguide, (all chapters are on that side blog as well as AO3). She is my absolute disaster of an elf and a woman who knows so few limits I'm genuinely concerned for her safety. Split heritage leaves her with a pale tone to her skin and long dark hair that's more often tied back to keep most of the blood out. I don't often describe her much in the fic and honestly don't have any good screenshots that I'd say really embody who she is to me, so you'll have to live with outfits and vibes~ Anyway, Tav's outfits and music below the cut!

Formal Outfit

Tav...doesn't really do formal, but Raphael did make her a dress in her dream which was later brought into vivid reality. Hardly the finery suited to the upper classes of Baldur's Gate, the inspiration was arguably more about making her feel uncomfortable and acutely aware of the particular eyes on her form. Tav is far more at home in leathers that carry a lingering scent of blood and sweat, something she can fight and escape in, but even the seasoned rogue knows when a distracting disguise is useful.

Product image from La Belleza Boutique https://www.labellezaboutique.co.uk/product-page/red-silk-dress

Casual Outfit

Tav is fond of red and black, but half her outfits are scavenged and stolen. Lacing and corseting isn't for fashion, it's to make sure things fit in the first place. A jacket keeps out the cold, but a distracting top underneath can be useful for a variety of scenarios... Pair all this with a comfortable pair of boots that come halfway up her shin, nice flat soles and well worn leather, soft to running down the harsh streets but still tough enough to withstand planting a solid kick when necessary.

Corset top, Ebay https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/386162837704

Long Jacket, Violent Delights https://violentdelights.co.uk/products/devil-fashion-libertines-remorse-womens-gothic-aristocrat-dovetail-coat-red-black

Lace up leather trousers, Leather City https://www.theleathercity.com/product/womens-lace-up-flare-brown-leather-pant/

Lingerie

I struggled to find anything that matched what I'd see our favourite disaster in, so I went with something sturdy but sexy. Dark, alluring, she knows what she wants at the end of the day and that's clearly [explicit redacted] with whoever falls into her bed - "take pleasure where you can, you never know when this night might be your last".

Velvet and Lace Lingerie Set, Killstar https://www.succubus.com/products/killstar-sacred-spirits-velvet-bralet-black

---

The Music Of ATG's Tav

1. Empire of the Sun - Solence

An old favourite, playing on the shifting moods between longing and a need to find a way out of a loop that never seems to end. Warming up to the idea of love being for herself and not just what other people get to enjoy is not easy for Tav but that doesn't mean she doesn't desperately want to hold on to every moment of sunlight on her skin.

youtube

2. Break Me - Serenity

Lyrics of resilience wrapped in a sensual tune with a harder edge. Tav has this on repeat now and then. She's never sure if she feels strong or sad, but it's a song that resonates with a lifetime of troubles interspersed with whatever moments of bliss she can steal for herself.

youtube

3. Dawn - Echo Black

Listen this might be becoming a battle of "who needs therapy more, Lia or Tav" but I promise this is all her~

youtube

4. Masks - Aviators

I'm not saying that Tav has trust issues...but she definitely does. You don't survive for 2 centuries on your own without building up your defences and learning to see through the convenient lies and faces everyone hides behind in the street.

youtube

5. Fire Up The Night - New Medicine

When Tav cuts loose, she thoroughly enjoys herself. Lust is a chance encounter to indulge in, an opportunity to explore, and she's not letting a single one of those chances pass her by.

youtube

--- --- OK that'll do it! I spent way too long on this but it was fun~ Thanks for the tag! I'll have to get some more OCs in my head eventually, but not until Tav's found the end of her story~

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 tav #a tav's guide #oc headcanons #OC personality #music recommendation #oc outfits #Youtube #Spotify

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bobtheacorn · 2 months

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I've decided your tags on that post about Leo not being anyone's favorite brother are the only take I will be accepting from here on out. Galaxy brained and honestly very in character for all of them lol.

tags from this: #leo is actually Everyone's favorite brother they just all insist that he isn't bc he would be Insufferable if he found out #april asking 'whos your favorite bro' in pre-lair game interviews and don mike and raph instinctively going #'leo - WAIT I MEAN [other brother]' April being like Mhm *writing that down*. donnie makes her sign an nda

Thanks I made myself sad about it actualy dslfkjskldf

"Who's your favorite brother?" April asks.

Mikey answers at once, cheerfully:

"Leo." He realizes what he's said as soon as it's out of his mouth, while April is gleefully jotting the answer down on her interview notepad, her phone balanced in her other hand, recording an audio file for redundancy's sake; Mikey looks at her pleadingly, clapping both hands together. "Don't tell 'im I said that, April! I'll never live it down! Especially with the Games comin' up!"

"My lips are sealed!" she promises.

"Who's your favorite brother?"

"Leo," Raph says - and then laughs nervously when he actually processes the question, slumping back on the bench and folding his arms like he's trying to hide something, avoiding eye contact, "I mean! Mikey! No, no - Donnie! I mean - Raph loves all of his brothers equally…!"

"I didn't ask which one you loved more," April clarifies with amusement, rolling her eyes, "I asked which one's ya favorite. Big difference!"

"Raph doesn't have favorites," Raph asserts, "And if he did, it definitely wouldn't be Mister Always Rubs His Five Years of Victory in Our Faces!"

"Uhuh," April says, circling something in her notebook.

"Donnie, who's your favorite brother?"

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that anything I say can be used against me - "

"Donnie. This is a for-fun Pre-Lair Games interview."

".....Are our answers confidential?"

"Exclusively for my eyes only! I'm not gonna publicly display your answers on the fridge or anything."

"Sigh. Obviously it's Leo." Obviously, April thinks, trying to suppress her fond smile so Donnie doesn't see it and suddenly become allergic to his own Emotions. She busies herself with her notebook while Donnie pushes back and forth in his gamer chair, fingers steepled in front of him like a super villain. "He has the most consistent pro-to-con ratio, if only marginally - though that is subject to change in the next month, what with the Lair Games coming up."

"Obviously," April says, waving a hand.

Donnie narrows his eyes at her.

"Who's your favorite brother?"

"Aha, a trick question," Leo says smugly, "You'll have to get up earlier in the day to pull that one over on ole Leon."

"I'm not pullin' anything," April laughs. "I'm askin' all you guys the same questions! Just tryin' t'think of some fun little headliners for the interviews and stuff, y'know? All in good fun. Now answer the question!"

"Uuh-huh. Well, it depends on the day of the week, I guess," Leo evades, shrugging.

He's playing with some fidget toy in his lap, allowing it to distract him. April is perched on the arm of the chair beside him, so she can't see his face. She folds one of her legs over the other, notepad balanced on her thigh while she taps out a rhythm with the mechanical pencil.

She can't help but tease him.

"Wanna guess who said Leo was their fav?"

She's not really gonna tell him. (That would break her NDAs.) And what it would do to his ego, she doesn't like to think - but she expects him to guess correctly, anyway. She's fully prepared to brush him off and play a little game of as if. But Leo chuckles and braces his feet on the opposite arm of the chair, pushing his shell briefly back into April's side, and says brightly, "Oh I guarantee you, I am nobody's fav. I'm too magnificent! They hate me cuz they ain't me."

Now that catches April off guard.

"Excuse me?"

Leo curls the fidget toy into his palm to touch his fingers, counting off, "Raph and Donnie both probably picked Mikey - and who can blame them, he's got all of us wrapped around his adorable little baby brother fingers. But if they picked each other, it's because Donnie actually shows up the most for Raph's missions because he loves having a Schedule, and because Raph always lets Donnie infodump at him because he likes listening to someone talk. And I know Mikey picked Donnie, because Raph always tries to smother-hen him."

"Uhuh," April says, uncertain about how she's feeling right now. This was supposed to be for laughs, but she's not laughing. Sharply, she adds, "Are you playin' with me right now?"

"I would never!" Leo says, scandalized by the very idea. He flicks the fidget toy so it swirls between his fingers, and he chuckles. "But I'm gonna play those losers like a Kazoo during the next Lair Games! What's the next question, Apricot??"

April taps her eraser against the notebook.

She doesn't have one ready.

#rise leonardo #rise april o'neil #rottmnt #lair games #leo i love u bby #no i wont elaborate. probably #rise #i am yeeting this into the void and going to work and just grateful that my brain chemistry chilled out long enough to put eight paragraphs #together #dfjsdfkljskdf

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