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thewitcheslibrary · 20 days

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Beltane

The date of the holiday: 1st may

History: Beltane is derived from the Celtic term Baal or Bel, which meaning "Bright One." As farmers prepared to shift their livestock from winter pastures to summer grazing in the hills, they sought protection and abundance from the gods by starting fires and herding cattle through the flames to the summer grazing fields. This was thought to protect the herd from attack while also increasing fertility.

In more practical terms, these bonfires were most likely used to burn brush heaps and clear space for planting and pastureland. In the home, hearth fires were extinguished and replaced with flames from Beltane bonfires. People often walked the perimeters of their properties or towns to evoke additional protection for the next year. Yellow flowers were used to decorate doorways, windows, and even cattle during Beltane.

Like all of the Wheel of Year sabbat celebrations, Beltane was a time for merry making and feasting. People would write a wish upon a ribbon and tie it a to a tree, in the hopes that the gods would grant them. Hawthorn, ash, thorn and sycamore trees were believed to be the best trees for making wishes.

Dew gathered on Beltane was thought to have special properties for increased beauty and youthfulness.

Beltane and sexuality- SLIGHT NSFW WARNING!

Part of Celtic Beltane beliefs revolved around the holy union of the God and Goddess, which people celebrated by having sex on Beltane. Usually outside, to further connect with nature. Children conceived at Beltane (and hence born at Imbolc) were regarded to belong to the Goddess, and were commonly referred to as'merry-be-gots', with a particular tie to the faerie world. Beltane, like Samhain, was a period when the curtain between the worlds became thinner, allowing ghosts to pass through. Unlike Samhain, the visiting ghosts were not looking for a feast or a quick chat with relatives. The spirits of Beltane were considered to be seeking reincarnation or sexual intercourse.

The topic of sexuality runs throughout Beltane. The Maypole, which maidens usually adorn and celebrate, is a phallic emblem signifying masculine strength, whereas the cauldron represents female power. Women who desired to produce a child would start a small fire, place the cauldron on it, and then leap over it.

To go Maying, or picking flowers and other flora in adjacent woodlands, was associated with casual sex in the woods. There was no stigma connected with out-of-wedlock marriage, and hand-fasting was prevalent, in which two individuals bonded together for a year and a day. Beltane activities such as the Maypole were forbidden by the Puritans in parts of Great Britain in the 17th century, owing in part to their overt sexuality.

END OF THE NSFW -

Symbols of beltane-

Colors: White, dark green, red

Foods: Dairy foods, honey, oats, mead, lamb

Stones: Sapphire, blood stone, emerald, orange carnelian, rose quartz

Symbols: Goat, honeybee, cown, fairies, pegasus, rabbits, flower crown, maypole, basket

Flowers & Plants: Primrose, lilac, hawthorn, birch, Rosemary, Ivy, woodruff, rowan, violet, alfalfa, cedar, peppermint lavendar

Deities: Aphrodite, Artemis, Freya, Rhiannon, Apollo, Bel/Belnos, The Great Horned God, BÓand/Boann

Setting intentions during this time-

Beltane has traditionally been a fertility celebration. However, if you don't have infants in mind, that's OK! Beltane is an excellent opportunity to reflect on creativity and success. Beltane is the moment to follow through on your objectives from Imbolc and Ostara. Perhaps you've been thinking about launching a company; Beltane is the time to set an appointment with the bank and inquire about finance. Perhaps you've been writing a book and now it's time to contact publishers or locate an agent. Beltane, with its promise of harvest and fruitfulness, is a time to take inspired action and be confident.

Ways to celebrate-

Chose one of the deities listed above and honour them in some way, yes even if you dont work with them. You can still celebrate them and wear or do things associated with them, just do so respectfully! Eat some of the foods associated with beltane! Even if you just eat a bowl of oats with honey for breakfast, its a good and simple way to celebrate. And its perfect if you can't openly celebrate, it just looks like your enjoying some food. You could also drink peppermint tea!

Wear some of the colours and carry the stones and gems around with you during this day. You can incorporate both colour magic and crystal magic by doing this and is also just easy to hide and do subtly! - everyone wears clothes (hopefully) and you can just say you are collecting rocks and crystals because you find them cool! - Flower crowns can be incorporated into outfits too.

Buy flowers or make a bouquet with the flowers associated with the holiday! They will make your space or altar look colourful, and flowers are pretty. This isnt as easy to hide, but if people do ask you can tell them you just liked them and treated yourself!

Set aside time for some self care - treat yourself to a special meal, music, aromas - whatever make you feel special!- with this you could use the plants, herbs, crystals, candles in the colours associated with them and some drawn symbols and put together a ritual bath! - bit of a clean up after but again its somewhat easy to hide

some less subtle way to celebrate.

Hold a bonfire for family and friends

Take action on a project you’ve been working on

Decorate a tree with colorful ribbons that represent your wishes for the coming year

Make flower crowns

Walk your property and give thanks and ask for protection in the coming year

Decorate your home yellow flower wreaths, bouquets or garlands

#pagan witch #witch #witchblr #witchcore #witchcraft #beltane #wheel of the year #witchy stuff

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neptunianmars · 2 years

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days of the week with astrology and magic

in astrology, the different days of the week are ruled by different planets, so the themes of this particular planet are strengthened on their respective day. you can utilize this to your advantage when looking at transits, when performing a spell, or even just in your day to day life. this post will kind of go over how i translate this extra energy into my day.

IMPORTANT: i personally feel that how the planet is manifested in your birth chart also plays a part in how you will translate this energy. for example: if you have Sun in Aries, you might have a more active Sunday than a Pisces Sun. keeping in mind your natal chart will be key in really connecting with the planets.

Sunday:

ruled by the Sun

themes of personality, stamina, vitality, energy, and matters of the self are all heightened

although i don't agree with the "Sunday reset" trend from an astrological perspective, i think why people feel the need to be productive is the extra burst of energy the Sun gives us

personally, i feel Sunday is a day for active rest. like maybe cleaning one room instead of the whole house or taking a walk instead of a really intense work out. the key is making the energy burst sustainable.

i think taking at least some of this day to spend time with yourself is important as well. the Sun rules our basic personality and ego, so it feels natural to connect with these things on this day

Leo is ruled by the Sun, so any of your Leo placements might be highlighted today

for all of my witch girls, Sunday is associated with Apollo and Helios/Sol

Sunday is a great day for any workings involving success, healing, ambition, career, or happiness

connect with the Sun through "sunny colors" like yellow, orange, gold, red, or even pinks or browns

crystals/metals: gold, sunstone, amber, citrine, carnelian

herbs: bergamot, celandine, hawthorn, hyacinth, marjoram, citrus

my must do's for Sunday: meditate for longer than normal, spend lots of time in the sunshine, a little bit of physical activity, and anything that brings me joy

Monday:

ruled by the Moon

themes of emotions, moods, instincts, intuition, and feelings are all heightened

this is a huge(!) reason why i don't agree with a Monday work week. Monday is such an amazing day for rest. it doesn't want to start anything, much less a five day exhausting work week.

i feel Monday is a really good day for shadow work or journaling, because you're able to be more in tune/in touch with your emotions. finding ways to connect to your Moon placement on this day will help this process.

it's normal to feel emotionally drained on Monday, so taking time to give yourself lots of rest is really important. working or spending time with people isn't bad, but make sure you're giving yourself time as well.

Cancer is ruled by the Moon, so any of your Cancer placements might be highlighted today

for all of my witch girls, Monday is associated with Artemis/Diana and Selene/Luna

Monday is a great day for any workings involving moods, good rest, physic connections, or family/maternal matters

connect with the Moon through colors like white, silver, black, and very light or very dark blue

crystals/metals: silver, moonstone, amethyst, selenite, labradorite, pearl, opal, quartz, onyx, obsidian

herbs: frankincense, yew, cypress, garlic, lavender, mugwort, pine, sage, oak leaves, almonds, amaranth flower

my must do's for Monday: shadow work, loooots of sleep and naps, comfort movies/shows, a good cry

Tuesday:

ruled by Mars

themes of desire, action, competition, passion, and anger are all heightened

Tuesday should be the new Monday. it's a great day to start new things (like a five day work week lmao), to begin projects, to plan out your dreams, and to figure out your desires

this is definitely a day to be active. Mars holds rulership over exercise and physical activity so getting your steps in with the extra energy he gives will help

this day is also underrated as far as creative endeavors go, definitely tap into your creative side on Tuesday and you'll be surprised with the results

Aries (and Scorpio to some astrologers) is ruled by Mars, so any of your Aries placements might be highlighted today

for all of my witch girls, Tuesday is associated with Ares/Mars

Tuesday is a great day for any workings involving courage, inner strength, sex, psychic defense, and banishing

connect with Mars through "strong colors" like red, black, purple, or dark grey

crystals/metals: iron, onyx, bloodstone, garnet, ruby, carnelian

herbs: heavy spices, garlic, oil, basil, camphor, black peppers

my must do's for Tuesday: exercise, try something new if i can, and think about my goals/dreams

Wednesday:

ruled by Mercury

themes of the mind, communication, reason, intelligence, language, travel, and intellect are all heightened

this is a great day for logical decision making! your mind will be more alert and clear for problem solving and answers will come easier to you. personally, i stay away from very emotional matters on this day. this is not to say that Mercury is without emotion because that's far from the truth, but it definitely does take a logical approach to things that our emotional state sometimes cannot get behind. i like to leave the feeling decisions for Monday and use Mercury's intellect for other things

this is also a really good day for communicating. your words will be perceived by others easier, and you will understand others easier as well. just for example, a work meeting on Wednesday will be clear, focused, and efficient, while a work meeting on Monday might bring in unwanted emotions

i loooove studying on Wednesdays. i find it so much easier to focus and actually retain information. i will dedicate most of my day to studying or learning. also, you don't have to be in school to "study." i study astrology or mythology or just things that interest me, and you can learn about anything you'd like! knowledge is neverending

Gemini and Virgo are ruled by Mercury, so any of your Gemini or Virgo placements might be highlighted today

for all of my witch girls, Mercury is associated with Hermes/Mercury

Mercury is a great day for any workings involving communication, education, travel, mental agility, and writing

connect with Mercury through colors like green, blue, yellow, gold, or silver

crystals/metals: mercury, hematite, amber, citrine, peridot, agate

herbs: crocus, almonds, strawberries, lemons

my must do's for Wednesday: study and use my words as much as possible :)

Thursday:

ruled by Jupiter

themes of luck, growth, expansion, optimism, abundance, and understanding are all heightened

Thursday is like a breath of fresh air to me. my thoughts are a lot more positive and i'm able to see things through a new lens that may have gotten jumbled throughout the week.

managing gratitude on this day is so so important. we can't be optimistic for the future and hold good luck if we aren't appreciate of what we have now.

i really like to focus on my goals this day as well. taking stock of what i have and what i have left to achieve and letting myself get excited over what's to come. this is also an amaaaazing day for manifestation!

Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter, so any of your Sagittarius placements might be highlighted today

for all of my witch girls, Jupiter is associated with Zeus/Jupiter

Thursday is a great day for any workings involving wealth, expansion, political power, legal affairs, business, and spirituality

connect with Jupiter through colors like sky blue, gold, silver, yellow, and purple

crystals/metals: tin, amethyst, citrine, sapphire, quartz, blue topaz

herbs: cinnamon, oak, olive oil, allspice, anise, coffee, grape, wine

my must do's for Thursday: manifest, work on business endeavors

Friday:

ruled by Venus

themes of attraction, prosperity, love, beauty, art, and harmony are all heightened

this is one of the days of the week i actually agree with in the modern work week. in my head, Venus gets split into two: half rules Taurus and finances, and half rules Libra and love. i think ending the work week on a Friday works because we spend half of the day making money, and half of the day with pleasure.

Friday is a really good day to spend time with people, but it's also a great self care day. Venus rules beauty, so i usually do my weekly beauty routine on Fridays.

personally, i like to spend at least some time in nature on Fridays as well and some time to appreciate art, which could be listening to your favorite albums, going to a museum, watching a beautifully animated show or any show/movie honestly, reading a book, etc.

hobbies are a big Friday thing for me as well. Venus rules creativity so tapping into that creative side will be especially easy on Fridays, and you can use it to do literally anything! paint, write, sing, dance, knit, draw, whatever you want <3

Taurus and Libra are ruled by Venus, so any of your Taurus or Libra placements might be highlighted today

for all of my witch girls, Venus is associated with Aphrodite/Venus

Venus is a great day for any workings involving love, beauty, nature, money

connect with Venus through colors like green, pink, red, or gold

crystals/metals: copper, brass, garnet, ruby, rose quartz, pearl, diamond, sapphire, opal

herbs: rose, anemone, apple, daffodil, myrtle, pomegranate, vanilla, jasmine, basil, honey, lavender, lemon, coconut

my must do's for Sunday: creative stuff, hobbies, work a little bit, spend time with loved ones

Saturday:

ruled by Saturn

themes of structure, law, discipline, restriction, responsibility, obligation, and law are all heightened

this is my "Sunday reset" day. i like to run all my leftover errands from the week, do all my chores/deep clean my living space, grocery shop, and just get everything done

this is a really good day to address and adjust your habits. Saturn craves discipline so he wants you to get your life together lmao. this is the day to start things, more specifically start good habits and end bad ones. for example, if you decided to start eating healthier, you should start on Saturday.

Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, so any of your Capricorn placements might be highlighted today

for all of my witch girls, Saturday is associated with Kronos/Saturn

Saturday is a great day for any workings involving finances, life obstacles, property, and habits

connect with Saturn through colors like black, dark grey, and brown

crystals/metals: lead, black onyx, hematite, smoky quartz, jet, black tourmaline

herbs: garlic, rosemary, cypress, dill, yew, myrrh, bay, clove, snakeweed, thyme, onion, witchhazel

my must do's for Saturday: deep clean, spiritual cleanse, errands, responsibilities

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titular-twins-tournament · 1 year

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BRACKETS + ROUND 1 MASTERPOST

Below is a written version of brackets, including links to each poll

Fandom- Characters

GROUP A

A1. Sky Children of the Light- The Valley Elders (aka Sah and Mek) VS Devil May Cry- Dante and Vergil

A2. Lego Ninjago- Krux and Acronix (The Time Twins) VS The Evillious Chronicles- Riliane Lucifen d'Autriche and Allen Avadonia

A3. Roman Mythology- Romulus and Remus VS Sanders Sides- Roman and Remus Sanders

A4. Happy Tree Friends- Shifty and Lifty VS The Penumbra Podcast- Juno and Benzaiten Steel

A5. Blue Exorcist- Rin and Yukio Okumura VS Avatar the Last Airbender- Lo and Li

A6. IDOLiSH7- Nanase Riku and Kujo Tenn VS Critical Role: The Legend of Vox Machina- Vex and Vax

A7. Don’t Starve- Wendy and Abigail VS Legend of Korra- Eska and Desna

A8. The Parent Trap- Annie and Hallie VS Mother 3 (aka Earthbound)- Lucas and Claus

GROUP B

B1. A Song of Ice and Fire- Jaime and Cersie Lannister VS MCU- Wanda and Pietro Maximoff

B2. Masters of the Universe- Adam and Adora VS Dimension 20: A Crown of Candy- Jet and Ruby Rocks

B3. Super Mario Bros- Mario and Luigi VS Ducktales (2017)- Della and Donald Duck

B4. Ensemble Stars- Hinata and Yuta Aoi VS Mystic Messenger- 707 and Unknown (aka Saeyoung and Saeran Choi)

B5. The Adventure Zone- Lup and Taako VS The Suite Life of Zack & Cody- Zack and Cody

B6. Gravity Falls- Dipper and Mabel VS Obey Me!- Beelzebub and Belphegor

B7. Transformers- Sunstreaker and Sideswipe VS Haikyuu- Osamu and Atsumu Miya

B8. Honkai Impact 3rd- Liliya and Rozaliya Olenyeva VS All For the Game- Andrew and Aaron Minyard

GROUP C

C1. Bob’s Burgers- Andy and Ollie Pesto VS Pokémon- Emmet and Ingo

C2. Final Fantasy XIV- Alphinaud and Alisaie Leveilleur VS The Locked Tomb- Ianthe and Coronabeth Tridentarius

C3. Liv and Maddie- Liv and Maddie VS Greek Mythology- Apollo and Artemis

C4. Genshin Impact- Lumine and Aether VS Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles- Leo and Donnie Hamato

C5. Trigun- Vash and Knives VS Twisted Wonderland- Jade and Floyd Leech

C6. Black Butler- Ciel and “Ciel” Phantomhive VS Cursed Princess Club- Gwen and Jaime

C7. Red VS Blue- Agent North Dakota and Agent South Dakota VS Animal Crossing- Timmy and Tommy

C8. Ace Attorney- Dahlia Hawthorne and Sister Iris VS Rugrats- Phil and Lillian

GROUP D

D1. The Twelfth Night- Viola and Sebastian VS Dungeons and Daddies- Lark and Sparrow Oak

D2. Dragonlance- Caramon and Raistlin VS Archie Comics- Cheryl and Jason Blossom

D3. Star Wars- Luke and Leia VS Ouran High School Club- Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin

D4. Steven Universe- The Rutile twins VS Disney Fairies- Tinkerbell and Periwinkle

D5. How To Train Your Dragon- Ruffnut and Tuffnut VS Highschool Musical- Sharpay and Ryan Evans

D6. Percy Jackson- Castor and Pollux VS Re: Zero- Rem and Ram

D7. Danganronpa- Junko Enoshima and Mukuro Ikusaba VS The Owl House- Edric and Emira Blight

D8. The Simarillion- Amrod and Amras VS Identity V- Joseph and Claude Desaulniers

#not a poll #announcement #bracket #matchups #round 1

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hannahhook7744 · 6 months

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The Storm Bringer (Information and History)

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION:

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LOCATION:

Dock of Arendelle (sometimes after d3),

Dock of Auardon (sometimes after d3),

Dock of Corona (sometimes after d3),

Dock of Neverland (sometimes after d3),

Dock of the Isle of the Lost (d1-d3).

OWNER(S):

Blackbeard (Captain)(Previously),

Hannah Hook (Captain)(Current),

René Montaudoin (Captain)(Previously).

WORKERS:

Aaron Bog (The Treasuer),

Abi Hun (Crewmate)(Former),

Alex Aoratos-Sinclair (Helmsman),

Amira Bint Aladdin Bin Cassim Al Hamed of Agrabah (Translator)(Future),

Anna Bog (The Lawyer),

Artemis Foundling (Junior),

Atlas Foundling (Junior)(Future),

Atticus Hook (Babysitter Crewmate)(Former),

Beau Foundling (Junior),

Clarice Foundling (Junior)(Future),

Craven Bog (Junior)(Future),

Credence Foundling (Junior),

D.E Anonymous (Anonymous Helper),

Darcy Aoratos (The Medic),

Darius Foundling (Junior),

Darren Foundling (Junior)(Future),

Derrick Red (Crewmate)(Former),

Eduardo Frollo (The Cooper),

Elara Foundling (Junior),

Evelyn de la Cruz (The Prison Guard),

Fiona Foundling (The Look Out),

Francesca Delgado (The Boatswain),

Genesis Flores (The Navigator),

Greyson Hook (Crewmate)(Former),

Gunner Harp (Back up Medic),

Harley Foundling (Junior),

Haul Bjorgman (The Deckhand and Translator)(Future),

Herlando Dancer (Back up Medic),

Hope Sid (The Entertainment and h.r. Representative),

Howiee Wolf (Guard),

Ian Hook (Crewmate)(Former),

Ike Bog (Junior)(Future),

Issac Cipher (Front Desk Attendant),

Isaac Olympian (Crewmate)(Former),

Isaac of Maldonia (Crewmate)(Former),

James Rourke (The Rigger),

Joey Starlights (Crewmate)(Former),

John Facilier (The Gunner),

Jolene Bog (Junior)(Future),

Josh de la Cruz (The Sailmaker),

Joy Foxworth (The Back Up, Back up Kid Wrangler)(Future),

Kailani ‘Clever’ Athanasiou (Storm Manager),

Lance Foundling (Junior)(Future),

Levi Giant (Junior),

Liberty Titan (The Backup Carpenter),

Luke Tremaine-Westergaard (1st Mate),

Luís Barbosa (The Carpenter),

Lysander Foundling (Junior),

Marcys Foundling (Junior),

Marinette Foundling (Junior),

Misty Del Rey-Silver (The Diver),

Morgan Hook (Crewmate)(Former),

Moxie Frankenstein-Van Helsing (Guard),

Nadia Foundling (Junior),

Nevin Hook (Crewmate)(Former),

Noah Aoratos (The Cabin Boy),

Noor Foundling (Junior),

Parker McLeach (The Powder Monkey),

Peachy Gothel (3rd Mate),

Prometheus Foundling (Junior)(Future),

Remi de Vil (4th Mate),

Rian Frankenstein-Van Helsing (The Trainer),

River Le Beak (Crewmate),

Shan Bri (The Back up Kid Wrangler),

Shania Silver (The Kid Wrangler)(Former),

Shaun Fagin (Crewmate)(Former),

Skelebar Foundling (Junior)(Future),

Skia Aoratos (2nd Mate),

T.K Sykes (Crewmate)(Former),

Terrance Foundling (Junior),

Tiger Khan (Translator),

Tim Foundling (Junior)(Future),

Toby Foundling (Junior)(Future),

Tommy Wonderful (Junior),

Treycor Fae-Aoratos (The Quartermaster),

Tyson Foundling (Junior),

Willow Hawthorne (Junior).

VISITORS:

Captain Hook,

Ginny Gothel,

Hadie,

Harry Hook,

Mal,

Maleficent’s Goons,

Mama Hook,

The Gothel Twins,

The Smee Twins,

Zarina,

Etc.

FINAL STATE:

Intact.

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"Creatures of the Night, Prepare to fight!"

THE CREW'S BATTLE CRY.

The Storm Bringer is the name of a pirate ship that Hannah Hook and her crew own.

It served as headquarters for the pirate crew and can be seen throughout the series 'The Marvelous Misadventures of Hannah Hook and Co.'

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Description:

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The Storm Bringer is an old pirate ship that Hannah Hook won and fixed up for her crew. Repurposing it as a safe house/boat/home for her crew and replacing the sails with three homemade sails that have a matching flag up on the crowsnest, a single red flag, and two additional crimson red flags.

Its walls are covered in artwork that she and her crew made as well as random treasures they have picked up over the years.

The wood is mainly brown with hints of red in some places and it has many rooms that the crew share (some of these ‘rooms’ are just areas with curtains hanging up to separate them.

It is one of the few ships on the isle that is almost fully intact and the shape its in has been described as ‘remarkable’ by the few older pirates that have stepped abroad since the ship came into Hannah Hook’s possession.

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History:

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Hannah Hook acquired the Storm Bringer from it's pervious owner, Blackbeard, in a poker game that she bested him at when she was 6.

In that game, she not only gained a ship but two new enemies (Blackbeard and his son, Barnaby) and the respect of the elder pirates on the isle.

Her first three crew members were Luke Tremaine-Westergaard and Skia Aoratos (her 1st and 2nd mate respectively) and River Le Beak (who decided to just be a crewmate) who helped her build her crew and repair the ship.

They ended up renaming the ship 'The Storm Bringer' and replacing it's old sails with ones they made themselves before tossing the ones in the storage closet.

And over the years, Hannah and her crew ended up redecorating the ship to make it feel more like home. Using art pieces they each made, rewards they'd received, and random treasures they had found to do so.

They even added on to the ship, making more rooms and making it look more intimidating and wild in the process.

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Gallery:

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(Old Design):

(New Design):

(Storm Bringer Contract):

(Storm Bringer Crew Tattoo):

(Crew Tryouts Poster):

#disney #melissa de la cruz #disney descendants #descendants #wicked world #descendants au #disney descendants au #disney descendants alternate universe #disney descendants ocs #pirates #original pirate ships #my art #my sketches #etc

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daybr43ks-lam8 · 1 year

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[Audio entry 001 - Give a sincere apology to the discarded masks, for their absence leaves a heavy toll]

[THE FOLLOWING IS TRANSCRIBED FROM THE ONLY AUDIO RECORDING DAYBREAK HAS RECORDED. THE TAPE WAS FILMED SPORADICALLY OVER THE COURSE OF THE DAY, DIVIDERS REPRESENT CUTS IN THE AUDIO FILE, EITHER FROM CORRUPTION OR TAMPERING.]

[ D@BRR333#$%3AAAA&^*&7382K %UNM00R33 BECOMES INCREASINGLY MORE STRESSED AS THE AUDIO PLAYS ON]

No better than to just.. Talk right? Just speak whatever? As my real self?

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I can’t find myself alone, I’m just in desperate need of someone else. Someone to give me the happiness I want and th. the love I don’t deserve. The loneliness I feel with myself, the thoughts when I’m with.. Myself. I ssSsee things… With.. Myself. I don’t like.. Me when I keep driving people away. They disgust me, they hate me. I’m not good for them, and I’m not good for myself when I stress.. Because then I’m not.. Good for anyone. I hurt the ones I wish to keep. So, I found a solution.

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I keep… These masks hurt when I let myself breath.. Let.. Myself think. I’ve had to think more than usual. And and I’ve been stressed more than usual. I don’t want to admit why I.. Went after the kid. But, I’ve regretted ever saying anything. And, the more and more people come after me and hear, the more and more I stress out and I go after him… Because I don’t want to hu-..

…

To.. Face myself so I just.. Hurt the ones they love. I. I can’t tell you what happened with Cesar though, I think I got too… I’m just.. Making excuses I.. I shouldn’t be allowed to keep them. I knew I didn’t deserve him, nor Jonah.. Nor Dave or Thatcher… Any of them. They’d have been better off without my masquerade, I thought I crafted them with perfection but.. I just crafted them with tears instead. I can’t keep a mask, they burn my skin if I mess up, and I’m back to square one. Artemis… He ran away, a coward, I had nowhere to go. Hawthorne they.. He messed up so much with them. I didn’t know what would happen if I… Let them go around and tell. I didn’t want to be tracked back into Mandela.. No, I wanted to start again. I hoped if I had no husks of my old life other than a few tapes maybe.. Maybe it’d work out.

I feel bad, for the ones I fooled. But if I got what I wanted and didn’t feel so pitiful like I always do, and be numb to it all.. Maybe everyone could’ve gotten what they wanted. Cesar, his loving.. Older brother. Jonah, someone to help him along… Dave would still.. Be friends with me if I wasn’t like this. Yet I feel terrible when I let myself soak and contemplate alone, whether I should’ve lied at all… Whether I should’ve even come.. Maybe I was meant to be left.. Bleeding out in the snow…. I ask myself so many things with no answers..

And- sometimes.. I ask myself if there was anyone ever truly there. If I knocked on my door, would anyone be home? Nothing I’ve ever done, nobody I’ve ever been has been really there. Really real. I’ve been living an imagination my whole life. Their- their beloved friend is just.. Nothing. I lied to them all, everything I said being numb, to them it’s all real. They all believed me. If I, if I ever told them the truth they’d say I was lying to them, they only got to- to know me at my worst, when, when everything crashed down on me and, I lost it. They’ll only see me as the monster I am I can only play it all off, li. like I alw.ways have.. JussssSst a mon.. monster. I can’t. I can’t tell them. I.. Fucked up I-

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If I could, restart all this, become.. Someone else, someone who isn’t me, someone who is as as beautiful an.d and loveable as they are. IF I COULD TRULY DESERVE THE MERCY THEY BEAR, IF I COULD LIVE AND BE ABLETO BREATH LI LIKE I NORMAL PERSON. JJUST PLEASE LET ME WORTHY FOR ONCE, LETME BE WORTHY. I WANT TO FEEL LIKE SOMEONE ELSE, I DON’T WANT TT TO LIE ANYORE I’M SSssSSSSICK OF IT, I’M HURTING THEM EVEN MORE. MAKE ME FORGET MY NAME, MAKE ME FORGET THE LIFE I NEVER HAAD I’M SICK OF IT. PLEASE SOMEONE HEAR ME, I’M JUST I’M JUST A SHAM THAT’S ALL I’LL EVER BE, THAT’S ALL SUNMORE EVER WAS-

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Just….

Please.. Forgive me for all the dam.age I’v..e done… Even,, even if it’s fake.. I can’t.. Bear the sight… Of my own… Face. I know you don’t either. … Apologize to.. Those wh… who endur..ed wi..th my shit.. They deserv..ed better…

[END TRANSCRIPT]

#lore

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dhampiravidi · 4 months

Text

platonic connections wishlist (long)

Jayn: Gotham-based vigilantes especially Nightwing, the Gotham City Sirens*, the Justice League* (DC Comics); Simon Bassett* (Bridgerton); James Valdez* (Queen of the South-US); Alina Starkov, Nina Zenik*, Jesper Fahey, Inej Ghafa (The Grishaverse).

Naela: Tyrion Lannister, Daenerys Targaryen, Rhaegar Targaryen, (ASOIAF/GOT); Chaotic Good & Lawful Evil characters (D&D)

Achilles: gods from Hellenic myth*, Arthurian knights* (Mythology); Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Captain Price, Johnny "Soap" MacTavish, König (Call of Duty); Astarion or any D&D characters (D&D); Gambit*, Mystique, Wolverine*, Storm, any Avengers (Marvel)

Jasmine: Iron Man, Loki*, Wolverine, Brunhilde (Marvel); Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane*, the half-fey Blackthorns, Kieran Kingson (Shadowhunter Chronicles)

Skadi: Brunhilde, Black Widow, Spider-Man*, Winter Soldier* (Marvel); Simon "Ghost" Riley*, Johnny "Soap" MacTavish, Farah Karim (Call of Duty); Karlach (D&D)

Oraia: Emma Frost, Loki, Iron Man, She-Hulk, X-Men in general* (Marvel); Philippe (Versailles), anyone (The Old Guard), Jack Sparrow* (POTC); most characters (Shadowhunter Chronicles); werewolves, vampires, fey (urban fantasy); Artemis*, Hestia, Bast*, Isis/Aset, sea nymphs, heroes (Mythology)

Hestia: Cyclops, Iceman, Jean Grey, Storm, Wolverine, Spider-Man, Venom (Marvel); young!Coriolanus Snow, Katniss Everdeen, Gale Hawthorne (The Hunger Games)

Rose: Zatanna, Constantine, Dr. Fate, Raven (DC Comics)

Aurelia: The Marauders--especially Sirius & Remus!, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, prominent Order members and/or Death Eaters, any cool people from the Marauders/Golden Trio eras (Harry Potter)

Rela: Din Djarin*, Grogu, Obi-Wan (Star Wars)

Zehara: Sokka, Suki*, Korra, Tenzin (Avatar: TLA & LOK)

Eugenia: Bonnie Bennett (Vampire Diaries); Hellenic deities (Mythology); werewolves, vampires, fey (urban fantasy); Dean Winchester (Supernatural)

Fantomex: ngl he'll flirt even if it's just platonic but Storm, Wolverine, Monet St. Croix (Marvel)

Renée: Gambit, Mystique, Fantomex, Storm, Quicksilver, Wolverine, Daken, Loki, basically anybody who's had dubious morals from time to time (Marvel); Nightwing, Wonder Woman, Superwoman (DC Comics)

Shayera: DCAU!Wally, Wonder Woman, Black Canary (DC Comics)

Mu Lan: Simon Bassett (Bridgerton); any people who are unfazed by Strong Independent Women 😁 especially those from eras other than the modern one...

Lady Gotham: Gotham vigilantes especially Batman, Red Hood (or Robin!Jason), Nightwing, Batgirl (Cassandra Cain)...also magic users like Swamp Thing, Constantine, Zatanna, The Spectre, Etrigan (DC Comics); wouldn't mind crossovers like something with Doctor Strange, Ghost Rider, Loki (Marvel)

-- an asterisk means "zomg I've been wanting this forever!" --

thanks for reading!

#wishlist #platonic connections #admin

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