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#as a kid he self-describes himself as shy and there are some people from that era who agree with that

atinystraynstay · 5 months

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My Flower - Park Seonghwa

Synopsis: Seonghwa saw you as his world, his everything. You're always the person he can go to when he has to make a tough decision. You are always eagerly listening to the new tracks and watching the dance practices for upcoming performances. Even after long days, you were there to welcome him with open arms. What happens when his whole universe is left feeling like the world is against them?

Pairing: Idol! Park Seonghwa x reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, established relationship

Word Count: 2k

Warning: does describe anxiety and a bit of depression. If you ever do need a place to vent, always feel free to send a message. You're never alone 🩷

You couldn’t shake how you were feeling. From the moment you woke up, you felt like clouds were hanging over your head. You tried your best to shake off the feeling by actually getting out of bed and getting in the shower.

Growing up, you used to be more shy about expressing your emotions. People used to comment how much they loved your smile when you were younger. It even got you the title of “the kid who always smiles.” You had a genuinely happy childhood, but the title and comments from people taught you that negative emotions such as sadness or anger should never be expressed.

Those bad days became intense because you got into the bad habit of allowing emotions build inside of you to the point you would burst. Those intense moments would cause you to cry until your chest hurts, not knowing why exactly you were upset because they were a cultivation of numerous events that occurred - some fairly recent to things that happened weeks ago. You would describe your younger self as a volcano waiting to erupt. You gave off the illusion that you were calm, put together. That was until the emotions bubbled up and overflowed. The severity of the eruption dependent on what triggered it.

It is part of the reason why you started therapy at a young age. Realizing you were struggling, your mom took it upon herself to get you set up with a therapist so you could begin to learn how to regulate your emotions. You’re thankful your mom was that proactive.

Of course, the way you handled your emotions at 15 is not the same being in your 20s. Going to college was a time that tested your development, your way of being but also helped you grow. You discovered more ways to help you calm down, how to communicate more efficiently when you were frustrated or upset, and learned to accept the bad days as life lessons. Truth be told, you felt more in control once you were living independent and finding who you really were meant to be.

Since getting with Seonghwa, you could say you’ve had more good days than bad. He was the person who offered a safe refuge to feel out and express your emotions. One of your favorite ways to unwind was to just watching Seonghwa build his lego sets. He just looked so at peace as his focused on which pieces go where. It made you feel content seeing him so relaxed which ultimately helped you, knowing that he was taking care of himself.

It was hard for Seonghwa to show his true colours sometimes. Being the oldest member, he felt the pressure to put on a brave face, strong aura especially for his younger members. Like you, he thrived on being the person people could depend on. With you though, he didn’t have to pretend everything was ok. He could cry, vent, scream if he needed to. You guys balanced each other out, or at least that’s what he thought.

He didn’t know over the past few months, you’ve begun to harbor your emotions again. You were so focused on providing for Seonghwa, attending to your job and other responsibilities that you were beginning to slip again. Yet, you didn’t want to show any signs of it. You were positive that you were strong enough to weather any storm.

Lately, life felt like you were trapped in a hurricane. Your job was severely understaffed, which meant your workload doubled than what it was supposed to be. It didn’t help that you didn’t get much joy out of your job either. You worked longer hours, and over time, you’ve had to give up going to the gym. You sometimes weren’t coming home until 7 or 8pm, completely drained from having to be at work at 7am. Your boss promised it was temporary, that they were actively searching for new employees, but it’s been months at this rate.

It didn’t help that Seonghwa hasn’t been home often. His attention was needed at the studio most days. ATEEZ were preparing for their new comeback, and you were so proud of all of them. You just hated being separated from your partner for so long, especially when nothing in life was going your way. Seonghwa always did a good job at reminding you what was going right when you were having difficulty seeing it for yourself. And right now, everything seemed so bleak.

After work, you found yourself just sitting on the couch. Your jacket was hung up but purse was left by the side of the couch. Despite how little energy you felt like you had, you somehow were able to make your way to the living room. You were stationary, leaning against the back of the couch but doing not much else. You were staring at her TV, staring at the reflection of yourself on the black screen. Your mind was racing with ideas as you were trying to steady your heart. Anxiety and depression can be nasty monsters, and when they are both working in unison, they felt like an unstoppable duo.

You didn’t even register the sound of the front door opening and closing. The thoughts that were occurring in your head were deafening, the only thing you can focus on. You closed your eyes to get to pick through and silence the loud voices in your head.

Am I doing enough at my job? Is my job even worth it? I’m supposed to love what I do but why do I hate myself so much for doing it? When will I be done?

“Baby? Come back to me, angel. Please.”

A gentle, warm touch started to bring you back to reality. It caused you to jump because it was a sudden touch but you completely relaxed staring into the eyes of your lover in front of you.

Seonghwa was crouching in front of you. One hand was on your knee, the other gently cradling your face after brushing a few strands of hair being your ear. His eyes bouncing all over your face to try to piece together what might be troubling you.

You noticed the concerned expression on his face which caused you to frown. You hated letting him down. You were meant to be his source of strength, but here you were doing the complete opposite.

"I'm sorry, Hwa. I didn't even hear you come in. Have you eaten? I didn't get started on cooking but I can do that now," you offered. Your voice was a bit weaker than you wanted it to be.

Your boyfriend just stared at you. His lips pulled into a small frown. You wanted to just sink into the couch at this point. It felt like you were digging a hole and it was only getting deeper.

"Y/n, there its something wrong. You need to tell me what's going on in that pretty mind of yours, so I can help you." "Why?" He looked stunned at your response. He leaned back quite a bit, which made you pray the floor gave out at this point and took you and the couch with it. At that moment, you wanted to take back every word you said to cause such an alarm. His eyes traveled your body. Not in a suggestive way, but you could see the gears in his head were starting to turn. What was he looking for?

"How long?" "What?" "How long have you been feeling this way without letting me in?"

You hung your head low, almost in shame. You weren't shocked that Seonghwa cracked your code, but you thought you could put this little act on longer. Until work settled down, until your mind settled down, and until your mind felt better. Then you were planning on unleashing your realm to him, so he didn't have to save you from it. You didn't want to drag him down when your own personal demons were trying to do that.

"Oh, my love. Come here," he whispered. He then stood up to sit on the couch, cradling his arms around you and pulling you into his lap. With your body turned sideways, your leg were sprawled out across his lap and onto the couch. He rested on hand gently on your knee, letting his thumb run over it. His other hand supported your back, allowing you to rest comfortably.

"If I could take some of your sadness away from you, I would do it in a heartbeat," he whispered. He leaned forward to press a lingering kiss to the top of your head. "But for now, I think we need to get you in the bath or shower because you're practically cold to the touch."

You nodded your head, gazing up at him. For the first time in the past few days, you felt like you let yourself give a genuine smile. It was a start for Seonghwa. With ease, Seonghwa lifted you up bridal style and carried you up the stairs to your shared bathroom.

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You felt your back fully relax against the porcelain white tub. Your body was surrounded by bubbles that were scented like rose water. The water was also a nice warm temperature, almost as if you were being wrapped in a blanket.

Seonghwa sat right beside the tub, facing you. He had the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows, occasionally running his fingertips along the water or across your leg underneath. You were grateful for a gentle lover like Seonghwa. He maintained a soft gaze on you, ready to jump and get you whatever you desired.

You reached one hand to run through his soft black hair. You pushed it back slightly to expose his face more, causing you to smile. You always felt the need to pinch yourself that you landed someone as handsome as Seonghwa. But he also felt the same. He was the happiest man with you, he was in love with you.

"One of the things I've always adored about you, darling, is how generous you are to other people," Seonghwa began. Your hand moved gently from his hair to his cheek. His voice was gently, leaning slightly into your touch. You found yourself smiling lightly at the compliment, about to open your mouth and give one back but he cut you off.

"But I wished you let me give back. I wish you would allow me to help replenish your heart, replenish your being, or even give you extra love when you clearly need it the most."

You sighed, nodding in acknowledgment. "I know. I've been doing pretty well, believe me. I think with how hectic things have been lately, I just found myself slipping into old habits. I didn't want to burden you with my own problems." "But that's the thing, my love. It is never a burden. I am your partner, I am here to help you through the hard times like you help me."

Seonghwa took your hand gently from his face. He cradled your smaller hand in both of his. You watched him intently, intrigued by what he might have up his sleeve. His lips pressed gently to your knuckles before resting his chin against the edge of the tub.

"It's you and me in this universe, babe. You take care of me, but I want to be able to take care of you. You just have to let me in, especially when it gets tough."

It was then you spilled your heart, or more so your mind and its never-ending thoughts, out to Seonghwa. You told him about work, about your progress in your mental health journey, and why it is difficult for you to open up. You explained your rationale for why you kept things suppressed, despite being ashamed of yourself for your poor judgement.

Yet, Seonghwa listened intently. He was quick to remind you everything you've been forgetting.

"I knew my y/n was strong. I understand where you're coming from. You can handle most things on your own and it truly is admirable. However, I'm always going to be here to pick up the extra weight. I'm here to support you," he reaffirmed.

For the first time in your life, you're experiencing a love so genuine and authentic. Seonghwa was everything you could've asked for and so much more. You truly won the jackpot. You felt nurtured, like a flower being watered and placed in direct sunlight for the best outcomes. Seonghwa truly was your source of light, energy, and love.

"I love you so much," you whispered. "And I love you today, tomorrow, and forever," he whispered back.

#atinystraynstay #park seonghwa #seonghwa ateez #ateez seonghwa #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa x you #seonghwa x y/n #ateez imagines #ateez fanfic #ateez #ateez fic #ateez x reader #atz #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa fluff #kpop imagines #kpop #fanfic

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ashes-escapism · 5 months

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Overcoming

Word Count: ~7,400 words of tickle fluff (SFW)

Pairings: Loki x reader, brief Peter Parker x reader (both platonic)

Pronouns: she/her

Summary: Noticing that the reader struggles with overthinking, Loki wants to help.

CW: Self-doubt, overthinking, anxiety. Brief description of fearful reaction to a horror movie, though the scene of the movie is not described.

There are some heavier moments written from a more metaphorical perspective, but lots of fluff and (silly attempts at) humor as well!

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Note: Hi! I'm Ash, I've been lurking on here for yearssss reading other's fics, and decided to write one of my own!

I had full intentions of finishing this before Halloween (as you will see, it has some Halloween themes), but... that did not happen LOL. I didn't want to wait until next October to post it, so I hope someone is still able to enjoy it :)

Scrolling through the different movie options in the Halloween section, you abruptly stopped when you heard Peter dramatically gasp.

“STOP! We have to see this one! Please tell me you’ve seen this before- it’s a classic!”

You chuckled at Peter’s enthusiasm, then answered, “Peter, I told you I don’t like horror movies. Honestly, I don’t even think I’ve heard of, like, any of these movies.”

“Okay, well, we have to see it then! I promise it isn’t that scary!” Peter assured.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s what they all say,” you countered. “Until I have enough adrenaline rushing through my body to singlehandedly power the electricity in this whole compound-“

“That isn’t even possib-“

“-and then I’m not able to sleep for the next month- not to mention the horrific images scarred to my brain, and-”

“Pleaseee,” Peter cut you off and looked over to you with wide, glistening eyes. “You said you would get in the Halloween spirit with me…”

“Oh… alright. But if you’re lying, we’re changing it to Hocus Pocus. All I’m saying is that I happen to value my sleep and peace of mind.”

“YES!” Peter exclaimed. “Wait, before you start it, I’ll grab us some blankets! A-and some snacks!” Scrambling out of the common room, he wasted no time before returning with some snacks, setting them down on the glass coffee table in front of you. He tossed you a cozy white throw blanket, then threw himself down on the opposite end of the couch, with a blanket of his own.

“Thanks,” you smiled softly at Peter, grabbing a bag of popcorn mix from the table, then wrapping yourself in the blanket and snuggling into the cushions.

While most of the Avengers were out today on different missions and errands, you had remained in the compound to work in the lab earlier. As one of Bruce’s lab assistants, you were thankful that your line of work didn’t require you to go into the field all that often; your strengths were more so in your research and analytical skills, rather than through physical combat or espionage.

When you moved into the compound earlier this year, you and Peter had become friends fairly quickly, given that you were the second-youngest member of the team, you both shared a love for science, and you saw each other quite often. You had a tendency to be shy around new people, so you appreciated how Peter immediately made you feel welcome on the team, and how he always had a kind and optimistic presence. Sure, the kid could be a handful at times, but his youthful energy was a refreshing change in pace to your day at work, so you were thankful to spend time with him.

You tossed a handful of salted caramel and cheddar popcorn in your mouth, a burst of sweetness and saltiness deluging your taste buds. After swallowing, you turned to Peter.

“You know, when you asked me to get in the Halloween spirit with you, I was thinking of something more along the lines of carving pumpkins or jumping into a pile of leaves. I didn’t really picture you as someone who enjoys scary movies.”

“Oh, those are next on the list! I already got us some pumpkins,” Peter responded with a big smile on his face. “And, well, I like to say that I enjoy watching scary movies, but sometimes I get too scared watching them, especially by myself. L-like this one time, which may or may not have been yesterday, I tried watching one of the Insidious movies, and I had to turn it off because I got too scared. Kind of embarrassing,” He chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. “But anyways, it’s still fun! I think it’s better to watch them with friends because, in the end, it brings you closer.”

“That’s totally fair.” It meant a lot to you that Peter wanted to grow closer to you, so you supposed you could sacrifice your dignity and watch the movie. Or, start it, at least. You’d see how it goes.

You pressed play on the movie. From the opening scene, the energy of the room shifted to a caliginous and eerie ambiance. Your eyebrows instinctively raised and drew together, and you absentmindedly bit your fingernails in fearful anticipation.

Peter glanced over to you, then shifted towards you on the couch. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m right here. If you get scared, you can grab on to me, or whatever you need, okay? My Spidey senses can detect a jump scare from a mile away, so I can let you know when one’s about to happen, i-if that makes you feel better.”

You couldn’t help but feel a little sheepish, somewhat childish for having such a strong fear of horror. But, you met his eyes and smiled softly. “Thanks, Pete.”

“Hey, I’ll always make sure you are safe.”

Taking a deep breath, you lowered your tense shoulders as you returned your attention to the movie and continued snacking on the popcorn. Twenty minutes passed, and honestly, you were lasting longer than you’d expected.

A few minutes later, the suspense began to climb. Your breath hitched. Your heart pounded. The excellent acting and thrilling music entranced you, cast a spell on you to believe that you were experiencing everything directly through the lens of the characters themselves. As he leaned forward on the edge of the couch and rested his elbows on his knees, Peter, too, held his breath as his unwavering wide eyes glued to the screen. You instinctively sat up next to and leaned into Peter, wrapping your arms tightly around him as if your life depended on it. Peter returned his arm around you and rested it on your waist.

Peter’s embrace lulled you into a sense of security, and the suspenseful music diminished as the characters escaped to a safe haven. You let your guard down, relaxing into him and releasing the breath you’d been holding.

“AHH!”

Peter screamed. You also screamed.

He yelled right next to your ear, jumping at the jump scare that suddenly occurred and squeezing his fingers into your waist.

A millisecond after Peter began screaming, you screamed with him. A reaction not only to the jump scare, but also to Peter’s scream and his fingers digging into your skin. With your senses heightened from the movie, feeling Peter squeeze into your waist tickled way more than it should have. Adrenaline shot through your body and you launched away from Peter. The popcorn flew off of your lap, some pieces spilling onto the floor as you accidentally rolled off the couch with a thud. Rolling over onto your back, you clutched your hands over your chest as you caught your breath, and began to laugh in both amusement and mild embarrassment.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay??” Peter asked with a concerned look on his face as he knelt beside you, before noticing that you were laughing. “You scared me!”

“Oh, I scared you?? You were the one who scared me first, after you screamed at the jump scare!” you chastised, albeit with a slight smile as you came down from your adrenaline rush.

“Ok, I guess that’s a fair point,” he shrugged. “I guess my Spidey senses were a little off because I did not see that jump scare coming. I totally forgot about that one.”

“Yeah, no kidding! So much for keeping me safe!” you joked. You sat up, started picking up the popcorn off the floor, and threw a piece at Peter.

“Sorry! But hey, in my defense, I really did not expect you to fall from a jump scare.” He finished helping you pick up the remainder of the popcorn. “A-are you sure you’re okay? I’m so sorry for scaring you. I wasn’t trying to, I promise. You’re okay, right?? I feel so bad, I really didn’t mean to scare you-”

“Hey, it’s alright, Peter, I know you didn’t mean to scare me, I’m completely fine,” you reassured him, looking him dead in the eyes to show you were telling the truth.

“O-Oh, thank goodness you’re okay,” Peter exhaled, though you could see he still felt guilty.

“I didn’t fall just because I was scared,” you elaborated, and he tilted his head thoughtfully. “When you jumped, you squeezed your hand on my waist and it tickled me. Which, really, you should know better to be careful!” You poked him on his stomach.

“H-hey!” He flinched. “I didn’t mean to! But you’re right, I should’ve known better. How could I forget how ticklish you are?” He smirked and quickly squeezed his hands on your sides, before standing up and offering you his hand.

You playfully rolled your eyes, then took his hand. Peter had found out you were ticklish a few months into your friendship as you were working in the lab. While trying to write a report, you had zoned out and hadn't heard him trying to get your attention, so he decided to poke you on your side to draw you out of your trance-like state. You jolted dramatically, giving a bigger reaction than he was expecting. Truthfully, you were just as surprised because you hadn't been tickled since you were a child and had forgotten what it felt like. You both laughed in amusement before you apologized to Peter for not hearing him.

Since his discovery, Peter never hesitated to poke you on your sides or ribs, or scribble his fingers briefly on your stomach when he could sense you were too stressed, or could use a little help getting out of your head. He observed that you had a tendency to overthink, and how you would often get lost in thought, especially when working. He also noticed that you weren’t truly bothered by his playful distraction.

“How are you feeling? Should we keep watching the movie?” Peter asked.

“How about we take a break? Maybe we could carve pumpkins now? That jump scare sent me overboard, metaphorically and literally speaking. I think I need some time to recover,” you laughed.

“Absolutely! A break sounds great. Carving pumpkins sounds amazing. Let’s do it, I think we need something fun after that jump scare.” He took the remote and paused the movie. “I’ll go grab the pumpkins from outside, I’ll meet you in the kitchen!”

Heading into the kitchen, you cleared off the table, covered it with newspaper, and set out some utensils for carving. A few minutes later, Peter returned, holding two large and two smaller pumpkins in his arms. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted a small pumpkin or a really big pumpkin, so I brought both!” He exclaimed, placing them on the table.

“Wow, I’m impressed you were able to carry all of those,” you chuckled. “I’ll take a big one first, I feel like it might be easier to carve.”

“Alrighty, here you go!” He set a big pumpkin in front of you, then grabbed a big one for himself and set it down next to yours. “This is going to be so much fun, we are going to carve the best pumpkins ever!”

“I agree! I haven’t done this in so long.” You each picked up a knife and started carving a hole in the top of your pumpkins. Removing the top and reaching inside the pumpkin, you pantomimed gagging as your hand became swallowed by the slimy innards. “This is so gross!”

He glanced over at you and laughed. “Eww! Yes I forgot how nasty pumpkins are before you carve them.” Now digging out the guts of his own pumpkin, a look of disgust emerged on his face as he gripped the slippery orange goop and slapped it onto the newspaper. “It won’t be so bad once we get past this part.”

As you and Peter continued working, you looked up as you heard footsteps enter into the room, belonging to Tony, Thor, and Loki. The three of them were recently in Iceland on their latest attempt at searching for a dangerous fugitive. While they were on the quinjet on the way home, Tony had sent everyone an update letting you know that the fugitive managed to elude them, but they gathered more intel on their identity and potential next moves.

“Hello, there, young ones!” Thor greeted you and Peter as he made his way past you to the fridge. After heating up some leftovers, he found a seat at the table away from where you and Peter were stationed. Loki had crept over to the stove, turning on the burner beneath the kettle.

“Ooh, carving pumpkins?” Tony set down his briefcase and walked in between you and Peter, crossing his arms and observing your work as you finished removing the pumpkin guts. “I haven’t done that in ages. I’d join in on your little Halloween party, but right now I’ve gotta finish up this paperwork. Pepper will be upset with me again if I don’t do it right away,” Tony said. “Speaking of Halloween parties, I’ll see you all Saturday, right? I’d wish you all good luck in the costume contest, but Pepper and I are definitely winning this year.” He confidently pointed towards everyone around the table before picking up his briefcase and exiting towards his office.

“Nuh-uh! My costume is gonna be way cooler than yours, Mr. Stark!” Peter exclaimed loud enough for Tony to hear as he walked down the hall. You listened on as Peter continued to tell stories about the “epic” Halloween costumes he’d had over the years and further emphasized how serious he was about winning the costume contest this year.

Glancing across the table to Thor, your mind wandered as you were curious as to whether or not he, or Loki, would be in attendance. You wondered, had they ever participated in celebrating Halloween or attended a costume party here on Midgard? You could see Thor good-naturedly joining in on the annual festivities, but Loki would probably take some convincing to participate. Although, perhaps he would enjoy a Halloween party, given the mischievous and chaotic activity it might entail.

You looked over at Peter’s pumpkin and back to yours. Your face dropped as you sighed at the realization that while his was nearly complete, yours remained a blank canvas. You’d been staring at your pumpkin for the last few minutes, hesitant to take action out of fear of messing it up.

Up until this point, you were doing perfectly fine. After all, it didn’t matter how the inside of your pumpkin looked. But now that you were done removing the guts, your overthinking suddenly kicked in as you came the part that truly mattered: carving the actual design.

Your brow furrowed as you tried visualizing and calculating the best distance and angle to carve the eyes, nose, and mouth. A barrage of thoughts swirled through your mind. Yes, you came to realize that only you would overthink even when it came to carving a pumpkin, but you couldn’t help yourself from wanting it to be perfect. That’s just the way you lived; everything you did had to be done to be best of your ability, or you wouldn’t do it at all.

Lost in concentration and indecision, you bit the corner of your lower lip and narrowed your eyes to map out the best course of action. Maybe you could start it here? No, that would be too-

“Hey!” You jumped at the sensation of someone poking your side, pulling you out of your thoughts by ticklish shock waves travelling up your spine. You accusingly looked over to Peter, who wore a guilty half-grin. Heat rose to your cheeks at the realization that the three of them had been looking at you, in an almost expectant manner.

“Ah, the young maiden is ticklish!” Thor chuckled heartily.

“Yes, the spider child does seem to provide some valuable intel about her,” Loki stated flatly, pretending as if he wasn’t interested. Though, it didn’t escape him that your face appeared to slightly relax, and your demeanor seemed to shift from one of melancholy to liveliness after Peter had tickled you.

“Peter! What was that for?!” you exclaimed indignantly, but you smiled despite yourself.

“Oh, Thor asked you a question, a-and we tried getting your attention, but you were really zoned out again, so I wanted to show them the best way I learned how to get your attention whenever you do that,” Peter explained.

You swiftly covered your face, your voice slightly muffled by your hands. “Oh my gosh, that’s so embarrassing.”

“I really don’t think she minds it as much as she lets on,” Peter whispered loudly to the Asgardians.

Your face flushed traitorously. (Though, Peter was arguably the bigger traitor, since he was the one to sell you out in the first place.)

But, he wasn’t wrong; Peter’s playfulness did help you relax a bit. Playfully engaging with someone wasn't all that common for you, so it felt kind of nice to let loose sometimes. Not that you really wanted that information casually spoken aloud, especially in the presence of the boisterous God of Thunder and the tall, dark, and handsome God of Mischief. You couldn’t say that it would truly bother you if either of the gods exploited this piece of knowledge, but you weren’t expecting Peter to just call you out like that. You planned on keeping at least some of your self-dignity intact today.

Desperate for a diversion, you asked, “Anyways, what did you ask me, Thor?”

“Ah, yes! As I was saying, what costume might you be wearing to the Halloween party?”

“Hmm, I’m not sure yet! What will you be going as? And have you celebrated Halloween before, or is it not really a thing on Asgard?”

“This will be my first time, actually! This mortal holiday is quite intriguing to me, I’m looking forward to seeing how you humans celebrate the evening. I went shopping just yesterday for a cool costume to wear. I’m a bit excited, I’ve never done this before!” Thor beamed as he stood up from the table and made his way to the sink, rinsing off his empty plate. “I picked out a vampire costume for myself, and I even bought a werewolf costume for Loki!”

Pfft. You and Peter let snickers escape you as you fought hard to not laugh at the thought of Loki in a werewolf costume.

“Now, hang on a second! I have agreed to no such thing!” Loki retorted. “I have not seen this costume in my life, but I can guarantee you I will most certainly not be caught dead wearing such poor quality, cheaply manufactured pieces of fabric.”

“Come now, brother! Have some fun!”

“You are a fool to think I would ever partake in that. If I truly wanted some fun, I could simply shape-shift myself into an authentic werewolf and scare all of the mortals in the area. Not to mention, that is the most basic, unoriginal idea you could think of. Honestly, brother, you have such poverty of imagination.”

“Really? I thought I was onto something there,” Thor admitted sheepishly.

Peter added, "Yeah, come on, Mr. Loki! It would be fun! Are you sure you don't-"

"No." Loki deadpanned as you bit your lip to hold back a smile.

The conversation was diverted by the kettle as it began to whistle, its tune fading into a soft hiss as Loki turned off the burner, then searched through the cabinets for a mug.

Peter turned to the Asgardians, looking up from his pumpkin for a moment and pausing from shaping the final details into his jack-o-lantern. “Do either of you guys want carve pumpkins with us? There’s a couple small ones here, and we have some more outside, too!”

Loki declined, while Thor said, “I’d love to join you! It sounds like a good way to de-stress after a long mission. How about we grab some more from outside?”

“Sure! More pumpkins will help us with decorating for Tony’s party, too!” Peter set down his carving knife on the table. “We’ll be right back, ok?”

You gave Peter a small smile. Peter and Thor left through the backdoor of the compound, the door shutting behind them with an enthusiastic thump. Unenthusiastically, you turned back to your pumpkin, your face falling once again as you were slightly upset with yourself for having yet to carve anything.

Unbeknownst to you, Loki observed your demeanor shift back again to one of frustration. “Would you like some tea, Agent?"

Absentmindedly and politely, you declined his offer, maintaining your hyper-focus and concentration on thinking through the best possible strategy for your task at hand. Loki shrugged, finding it a little unusual that you would turn down tea, then poured some steaming water into a mug for himself.

“You know, Agent, I can’t say that I have any experience carving pumpkins, because I’d never touch my hands to pumpkin guts. That would be disgusting, and I am a god, after all.” He placed a tea bag in his mug, letting it steep. “However, from what I’ve gathered from you mortals, I’m fairly certain it’s supposed to be fun. It appears to me that this is not the case for you.”

“What do you mean? I am having fun,” you said. It would be silly of you, you thought, to get upset over something as simple as a pumpkin. Plus, it wasn’t entirely a lie; despite your frustrations with yourself, you were enjoying the company of your teammates.

“Do you plan to carve your jack-o-lantern, then? Or are you going to keep staring at it, with hopes it will carve itself?” Loki asked gently with an equally teasing and amicable tone.

“Well…” You looked down sheepishly at your pumpkin, fidgeting your thumb on the handle of your carving knife, then placing it on the table. “I would like to do it, but I’m afraid I’ll mess it up.”

He lifted the porcelain mug to his lips, taking a sip of his steaming tea. “I must admit, fear has gotten the best of me many times, as well. But once you start, you’ll fall into a nice rhythm. I understand your concerns, but pumpkins are plentiful and if you ‘mess up’, then that simply means you have room to grow and learn how to avoid any errors next time.”

“Thanks, Loki. I hear you,” you sighed. “But what if it’s ugly?”

“That’s impossible, darling. Nothing that you touch could ever be ugly. I’m sure whatever you create will be lovely.”

Heat crept to your cheeks at his compliment. “But-“

“Ah-ah. No more of that,” Loki cut you off. “It seems to me that you are in need of some confidence. I do not think there is any shame in not being instantly or perfectly good at something.”

“Yeah…” Your shoulders slumped. “I know, I just… don’t know how to change it,” you said to your pumpkin.

“I can understand that. Perhaps there is something I could do to convince you to at least begin carving the pumpkin? To convince how little risk there is?”

“I don’t know… I know it’s silly, but I’m so nervous about messing up. I just want it to be perfect.” You were thankful that Loki was trying to help you. Truly, you knew how ridiculous you were being and wished you could just carve the damned pumpkin. You hated your anxiety for turning something you should find fun into something that you feared.

Loki thought that you were too hard on yourself; you had a kind, calming and gentle presence to everyone around you, so why couldn’t you give yourself the same grace you give to others? Over the past year, he had noticed your proclivity for self-doubt on several occasions as you lived and worked at the compound. It was odd to him that you would doubt yourself and your abilities, given that you were an incredibly competent scientist, which you had proven time and time again.

He wished there was a way for him to help you not hold yourself to such unrealistic standards. You had just admitted to him that your fears were stopping you from doing something that you wanted to engage in; he believed there must be something he could do to provide encouragement in overcoming your insecurities, even with something as harmless as carving a pumpkin. Clearly, offering words of wisdom alone wasn’t enough, so he racked his brain for another strategy.

One idea came to his mind, though he wasn’t entirely certain it would work. Based on Peter’s playful engagement with you earlier, you appeared more relaxed, as though a weight was lifted off of your shoulders when he tickled you. Loki couldn’t say that his observation was a fact, after all, it was only a single, brief interaction that he saw. And who was to say you would be equally comfortable with him as you were with Peter? He had no intentions of making you uncomfortable in the slightest.

But, perhaps he could test his theory. There was no harm in testing the waters to see if you’d take his bait. And who knew? Maybe it could be a win-win situation. He could potentially assist you in overcoming your self-doubt, while proving himself to be right at the same time. He’d never pass up that opportunity.

“Well, Agent…” He set his mug on the countertop and clapped his hands. “I can’t stand seeing you in that little melancholic state any longer. So, I’m going to propose an offer.” He raised his eyebrows subtly, making sure to lace his demeanor with mischief to see how you’d react. “Since you’ve told me that you want to do it, either you can willingly at least begin to carve the pumpkin, or… I will be forced to provide you a little motivation. Some coercion, if you will.”

You perked up a bit at the glint of playfulness in his voice, then tried to hide your inquisitiveness just as quickly as it appeared.

“Coercion, hm?” you hummed flatly, though Loki saw right through your attempt to masquerade the sudden glimmer of curiosity in your eyes.

The corner of his lip pulled upwards as he gained some assurance in his speculation. “Oh, most certainly. As the God of Mischief, I must say I’ve gathered some rather effective strategies over the years. I am well versed at using a person’s fear as leverage to manipulate them to do what I want,” he said in a low drawl.

“Ih-is that a threat?” you stammered. Loki carefully studied your body language to check for any signs of unease, but he failed to notice any. If anything, he might’ve said you were intrigued.

“Perhaps it is,” he offered casually. He crossed his arms, flaunting a little intimidation and a little more confidence.

“I’m not afraid of you, Loki. I know you’d never do anything to hurt me,” you taunted, a cheeky smile tugging at your lips.

Your response further confirmed his suspicions; if you were going to be playful with him, Loki presumed you wouldn’t mind if he dished it right back. Maybe Peter was onto something; perhaps you needed some playfulness to provide a little distraction. To help alleviate the voices in your mind from telling you nothing you did could fall short of being perfect.

He tilted his head. “Mm, perhaps you should be afraid. Especially after your spider friend recently provided me with such valuable information of you.” He exuded a calm, yet slightly unnerving confidence as he stepped towards you.

“What are you-“ Oh. Oh. (As if you didn’t know what you were getting yourself into.)

The wheels in your brain abruptly screeched to a halt as you froze. Your legs glued to the ground as if they were anchored in place. Your heartbeat quickened, and nervous, (who were you kidding?) excited giggles spluttered from your lips. Weakly, you held up your hands, pretending as though you wanted to maintain distance between you. Though absolutely everything else in you was provoking him, your final brain cell seemed to have a sense of self-preservation as it fought for you. “Waihait-“

Before you had any time to react, he grasped his fingers around your wrists, quickly spinning you around, pressing your back flush against his chest. A crimson haze seeped over your cheeks at the realization of how trapped you were in his strong arms. He gathered your wrists, pinning them against your chest with one hand, then used his other hand to lightly scribble his fingers on the side of your stomach just above your waist. Instantly, giggles left your mouth and you squirmed at his delicate touch.

“I’ll show you mercy if you promise me one thing,” he said, casting chills down your spine. He paused his fingers, resting them on your sides as if waiting for definite permission.

“W-What?” you squeaked.

He gently turned you to the side and gazed at you softly. Bringing your eyes up to his, you could see that the glimmers of mischief had been replaced with genuine care. “Promise you’ll attempt to carve the pumpkin, and give it your all.”

Being well and fully aware that you were digging your own grave, you flashed back a defiant grin and responded:

“I can’t promise that.”

“A shame,” he sighed as if it pained him, but secretly took delight in being right. “The offer was genuine, too.” He released your wrists and latched his hands onto both sides of your ribcage, expertly digging into the crevices of your lower ribs. You squeaked and squealed and fell into laughter, doubling over as you tried to evade his ticklish touch.

“AHAH Loki wa-HAIT- NO“ You shrieked and writhed uselessly against him as his nimble fingers relentlessly clawed up and down your ribcage. Electricity rapidly trickled through you in every direction, down to your feet and up your spine to the base of your neck. Zapped of your power, your legs lost their strength as you quickly fell weak in his arms. Gently, he laid you down on the kitchen floor, throwing one of his legs across your body and straddling your upper legs.

“I’m afraid it’s too late now, Agent. I did offer you an out; you simply chose not to take it,” he hummed. “My offer does still stand, however. Though, perhaps you don’t truly want this to stop.” He winked, continuing his ticklish onslaught and scribbling his fingertips into your belly, equidistant between your bellybutton and sides.

Fireworks exploded across your cheeks and laughter flowed from your lips. He chuckled endearingly, amused as his deft fingertips made quick work of sending you into hysterics. Alternating between well-placed pokes and clawing around your stomach, and pulsing his hands up your sides and ribcage, he dodged your hands with ease as you attempted to push his away, never letting you get used to one sensation.

Loki paused as he noticed your eyes widen and blush deepen when he found a particularly sensitive spot on the middle of your ribcage.

“Oh, my,” Loki drawled, his eyes lighting up as though he’d discovered a valuable treasure on a deserted island. “You should really be thankful you don’t work out on the field, with how little control you have of your face.”

“UGH I kno-OHO-w,” you whipped your hands up to your cheeks to conceal your impossibly increasing flushing face. You were sure that in any second the heat radiating off of your face would burst into flames, emitting smoke signals to any potential rescuers to help you off of said island.

Speaking of rescuers, how long does it take for someone to simply go outside and grab some pumpkins?!

(On second thought, maybe you were thankful they were taking so long.)

“There’s a r-EAHA-soHON I work behind the sc-EHENES AHAHA NO” you managed to say in between your laughter. You all but screamed as Loki unexpectedly latched his fingers onto your hips, drilling into the soft skin next to the bone. Throwing your head back, your eyes squeezed shut, you lightly snorted, and then fell into silent laughter. Your entire body became inundated with ticklish shock waves as his thumbs rhythmically and steadily pulsed into the dip of your hips, his fingers simultaneously digging into the back of your sides. Persistent, unrelenting, unyielding, he targeted your hips, eventually slowing down to lightly scribble at the sides as he noticed tears forming in your eyes.

He stared down at you with an amused grin, allowing you a moment to catch your breath. “Ready to yield, yet, Agent?”

“Lokihihi,” you said as your giggles audibly returned. You had to admit, the sensation was entirely overwhelming, but at the same time, it was kind of fun. Only Peter had really tickled you before, but it was never more than a couple seconds; the extent of his playfulness seemed completely mild compared to how Loki was taking you apart with his hands. You couldn’t remember the last time you truly laughed and let loose like this. You would never admit to enjoying yourself out loud, but you had a feeling didn’t need to; your traitorous face spoke for itself.

“Yes, darling?” Smirking, he exuded mischief and amusement as his fingertips ghosted around the soft skin on the inside of your hipbones. He wondered how much of his playful tormenting you were willing to subject yourself to.

“I cahahn’t-” You batted weakly at his hands. Loki had been observing you closely, and even through your disheveled state, he noticed a genuine smile still remained behind your eyes. Reaching behind him with his left hand, he lightly scratched the skin on the back of your thigh, just above the back of your knee. Frantically, you kicked your legs and your shoulders shook as he simultaneously engaged his right hand, continuing to squeeze your hip. “I caHAHn’t take iHIit AHA-“

He grinned, “You know how to make this stop.” Picking up the pace of his tickling fingers, he elicited more of your melodic laughter as you became nearly powerless under his playful touch.

In a half-hearted attempt to protect yourself, you somehow managed to slip one of your hands in between your left hip and Loki’s hand, to which he quickly grabbed both of your wrists and pinned them above your head. Using his free hand, he rapidly pinched up and down one of your exposed and vulnerable sides, from your hip bone to the top of your ribcage. You jolted and laughed underneath him, your laughter interlaced with squeaks and squeals as Loki found especially sensitive spots.

Curiously, he wiggled his index finger deep into the center of your underarm. Much to Loki’s delight, your eyes glittered with liveliness as you shrieked and squirmed under his touch. He couldn’t help but find it adorable that you were enjoying yourself so much, and how much it was seeming to help you relax.

“OK, okahAHy,” you uttered. He relented, though he remained seated on your legs and maintained his grip on your wrists, in case you changed your mind. Euphoric giggles continued to spill from your lips; you were feeling almost giddy from the endorphin rush. Impatient, he pinched your side once, then glared at you expectantly. Taking a moment to collect yourself, you took a deep breath and said, “I-hi promise to carve the pumpkin…” You giggled, hesitantly adding,” … if you do one thing.”

“What is it?” He raised an eyebrow with fake indignance, but he couldn’t help but be a little amused. “Need I remind you, Agent, you really aren’t in any position to be making ultimatums.”

“I’ll carve the pumpkin… if you wear Thor’s werewolf costume to the Halloween party,” you jokingly proposed. You knew that Loki would never wear it, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t tease him about it. And honestly, you weren’t quite ready for your playful interaction to end just yet.

He looked at you with a blank, emotionless expression, letting the taut silence linger between you for a few seconds. Your giggles slipped out again, partially from nerves, partly from delirium. Loki found himself both charmed that you were provoking him to continue and amazed at your resilience.

“You’ve got some nerve,” he growled and glared at you, though with lightheartedness in his pale emerald eyes. “Too much nerve for someone as ticklish as you.”

With that, he let go of your wrists and found your triggering middle rib, drilling his middle fingers deep into the bone on each side. You strongly jolted, laughing uncontrollably as you kicked your legs helplessly from underneath him. Eventually giving up on your halfhearted attempts to protect yourself, you relaxed as you succumbed to your torment. Loki continued his relentless, playful attack on your sensitive spot, digging in ruthlessly as you once again fell into bright laughter. In this moment, you felt the weakest and most flustered you had ever felt in your life, your entire body dissolving like Jell-O on the floor. At the same time, you somehow felt entirely carefree, unable to think about anything else except for how bad it tickled, as the endorphins flitted around your brain.

His heart glowed with endearment as he heard the bubbly giggles pour from your lips and saw a big grin across on your face. He felt quite satisfied with himself on his newfound effective strategy to help you let loose and relieve some stress.

Your face was now an overripe tomato, your laughter soon becoming breathless, so Loki stopped, sensing that you’d had enough. Catching your breath, you sputtered out a surrender through your laughter.

He climbed off of you, and the two of you sat in comfortable silence, aside from your occasional residual giggles as you recovered from your delirious state.

After a few moments, Loki turned towards you. “Darling, I would never force you to do something that makes you uncomfortable. But I truly think it would be good for you to at least try.” He paused, gazing at you gently. “I understand that you don’t want to mess up, that you want to do things perfectly, and I can respect that. Perfection is a noble goal, though it is unachievable. It pains me to see that your pursuit of perfection sometimes paralyzes you in beginning something, for fear of messing up.”

You met his eyes softly, listening intently.

“You are incredibly competent and gifted with a brilliant mind, but even the most brilliant minds in the world will continue to fall short of perfection. Even Odin himself has flaws. But he is one of the most powerful and wisest gods out there. Thor isn’t perfect, even as a mighty warrior. His ego is massive. Yet he is still a powerful warrior, a noble brother.

I only want to give you some confidence and reassurance that it is entirely okay to mess up. It is a natural part of our life’s journey, that we are capable of growing from our mistakes.”

Feeling slightly taken aback by his compassionate and understanding words, and at a loss of words to match his kind sentiment, you gently smiled and said, “Thanks, Loki.”

He offered you a sincere, tight-lipped smile in return. “I only wish you could see the value in yourself that everyone else does. You would do well to give yourself a little grace.”

“That’s very kind of you to say,” you breathed.

“It is all the truth, Agent.”

You had never realized how attentive he was towards you, or how much he cared about you. You were so used to fighting your battles on your own, the thought of receiving help was almost foreign to you, especially from Loki.

Perhaps your fear of appearing incompetent was keeping you from letting anyone in, and you’d blinded yourself to the reality that others might want to be there for you. But now, here you were, seated side-by-side in a vulnerable moment with the God of Mischief, his kindness coming as a welcome surprise, comforting you like a warm embrace when you needed it the most.

Your heart swelled at the thought that Loki cared so much about you, feeling honored that he was comfortable enough opening up to you in a way he really hadn't with others. It meant so much to you that he was willing to risk being vulnerable himself in order to help you, to show that it is okay to allow people to see behind your mask of perfection. He reminded you that you were more than competent, and even when you did make a mistake, you were still loved.

Learning to be more forgiving of yourself and your mistakes would be a process; that much, you knew. It wasn't something that would completely change overnight, but you decided it was something worth working towards. Especially now that you knew you had your teammates to support you.

"Shall I let you get back to your pumpkin now?" he asked.

Nodding genuinely, you gave him a soft smile.

Loki beamed with an uncharacteristic warmth, recognizing that the traces of downheartedness in your disposition had faded, replaced with a glow of hope and promise.

“Excellent! I’m proud of you, Agent. Perhaps this is what you need to overcome your fears. A victory, even if it’s simply over a pumpkin.” He stood up, offering you his hand.

“So… does this mean you’ll wear the werewolf costume? If not, I totally get it- I think the vampire costume would suit you better anyway,” you deadpanned, giving him a wink as you took his hand.

Feigning menace, he held your hand firmly and stared down at you before helping you up. “Ask about the costume one more time, and I will pin you to the ground and tickle you until you are on your last breath. And next time, I won’t show any mercy.” He winked right back and gave you a sly grin.

You squeaked and blushed furiously at his threat, causing Loki to smirk at your flustered reaction. Although, now that he was aware you truly didn’t mind his playful antics, he knew he would follow up with that one day, anyways. Perhaps on a day when you were extra hard on yourself, if only to make you smile.

“We’re back! Sorry it took longer than-“ Peter, pumpkins in hand, stopped in his tracks as he saw Loki helping you up. “You fell again? Wow, and I thought that I was a klutz,” Peter remarked with a smile.

You lightheartedly laughed at the coincidence, while Loki looked a little bemused and returned to his tea. You decided you’d be fine with keeping both of them in the blue about your embarrassing moments you’d had with the other.

As you began working on your pumpkin again, in the company of your teammates, you couldn’t help but be thankful for them.

Perhaps you could be a little less hard on yourself. You made a promise to yourself that one day you would learn to be more forgiving of yourself and your mistakes. To believe that you were good enough, and that you were worthy of the same love and grace you gave so freely to everyone else.

#loki tickle #tickle fluff #tickle fic #ler!loki #ticklish!reader #marvel tickle #loki fluff #marvel fluff

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konigsblog · 9 months

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könig analysis, and mentions on him in relationships

i described könig's analysis in this post, and i want to add onto it with a description of how he'd be in a relationships.

mentions of smut (brief and not detailed), arguments and difficulty with self worth.

könig isn't a shy person, like i previously, he's more socially anxious and standoffish, making himself seem more confident in busy situations and cringing about it when he gets home because it feels unnatural. i don't think he'd hate outside dates, prefers something like a picnic or cooking for you, doesn't like the loud noises taking away the attention he gives you.

he also wants to be himself around you, to show you how loving he can be and not some fake personality he puts on to hide his vulnerability to being in loud situations, not that he's shy, but that he's uncomfortable about the glares he gets for his height, or the comments on his stature.

also, not that he hates his height - loves using it to his own advantage in the midst of a mission, but on leave, he's more uncomfortable the the looks he's given. being builied and tormented as a kid gave him insecurities, so people making comments on his appearance, even if it's with good intentions, may make him feel iffy, not good at taking compliments.

he's a very passionate lover, his love language being words of affirmation and physical touch, though he's worried that he may hurt you accidentally because he doesn't realise his strength if he's too distracted. he'd beat himself up if he hurt you badly, something in the back of his mind making guilt bloom in his chest, despite how you told him it was alright. if it's something minor, he'll be more careful with his touch, worried about holding you just incase

he's not submissive, he prefers being in control since in his line of work, being in control means well and means that he can do better, if he lets the enemy take control then he's vulnerable. people may disagree with this, but he doesn't whimper, he's a grunter. have you heard his voice lines? he growls and groans, they're dry, he pants as well.

doesn't really like you being insecure because he knows what it feels like. he's familiar with the feeling of not being happy with what you see in the mirror, or the person looking back at him. he never told his mother when something was bothering him, especially if it was insecurities because he was worried that she'd feel bad. and i also believe he either grew up poor and without a father, or with a workaholic father, still unsure.

he likes the intimate feeling of washing his significant other, rubbing the soap down your back and lathering shampoo to your scalp. enjoys when you pamper him because he usually doesn't take a lot of care of his skin, mainly hidden with a mask, or he feels as if he doesn't deserve anything nice - the reason being that he's viewed by a monster; mothers who hide their children, or the enemies he's murdered and left hundreds of families without a family member, or the way people stare at him as if he's abnormal.

könig does struggle with his self worth, but when you massage his back after a long, failed and unsuccessful mission, he can't help but feel grateful for your time. i also believe that since he struggles with his self worth, he blames himself for others struggles. a failed mission is his fault, the only way to take his anger out is yelling at recruits for their mistakes, throwing his insecurities in their face and making them feel worthless to release some rage and guilt he's built up.

probably has anger issues stemmed from his childhood, never accepted. he needs a punching bag and the only people he can take that out on without feeling too bad is the annoying recruits who are always in his office asking for help, thinks their useless because they can't do one thing correctly. and during arguments with you, he struggles to contain his anger, so he usually says stuff he doesn't mean, anything. it could range from offensive words about your appearance, to blaming you for his struggles, despite how you'd so desperately tried to help him.

it makes him sick when he realises what he's done, and will act cold because he doesn't believe that he's worth anything, distancing himself from you out of fear that you'd never forgive him, or even look at him in the eye. he watches as you curl yourself into a ball, and hide your face from him, quietening down once he realises what he's done. but, he doesn't immediately feel guilty because he's still in that mindset that he's correct, and like i said about him taking his anger out on others, he doesn't like taking the blame for anything he does wrong so it's hard for him to say that, yes, it was his fault.

i really hate when people make könig out to be as some little boy who's dumb and has no idea was he's doing, who's sensitive and cries a lot, or needs a teddy. it's not him, or his character. i don't mind when you have your own headcannons, but that's just not how he's portrayed. “and they said i couldn't be a sniper...” he knows he's good, and he knows how it's his inability to stay still mixed with his height that keep him from being his dream, not his skills. he doesn't think it's fair. he gains a lot of confidence during and after a mission, especially if it's successful, its the thrill that keeps him going for a couple hours and makes him more witty and cocky with his peers after. up until he's tired and upset about the amount of rookies in his office, screaming in their faces since he's exhausted and needs a coffee or something, a load of reports needed to be filled.

#orla speaks #könig #könig call of duty #könig cod #könig mw2 #konig mw2 #cod konig #konig cod #konig call of duty #konig #modern warefare ii #call of duty modern warfare

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plasmasimagination · 5 months

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Hi! Congrats on getting 300+ followers!! If it's cool, may I get a matchup for Honkai Star Rail? (Sorry if it's long,,,, I'm just super excited and happy for youu windidbid) (please no sampo)

I'm an INFJ who's pronouns are she/they. My sun in Gemini, my moon is in Ares and my rising is cancer.

I'd describe myself as curious, easily excitable, pretty witty, a bit shy, bubbly, and low-key feral. I'm observant and calculating by nature, but I tend to keep that hidden. At times, I do tend to be depressive and super anxious (due to past bullying). In addition, I have a habit of being really hard on myself and pushing myself to my limits. I'm in a better place now, but sometimes it haunts me.Gaining my trust is pretty hard, but if you do, I'm riding or dying for life.

I like to try new things(, foods, activities, ext.) The issue is I have a weak stomach and get sick easily if I don't get enough sleep 😅 (strong mind, weak body hdudbdj)

I love cozy things!!(soft pastels, blankets, oversized sweaters, big scarves, stuffed animals, fairy lights) But I also have a love for the macabre My favourite outfit on cooler days consist of oversized sweaters, leggings, runners and a giant blanket scarf on top!

My hobbies include reading, writing, singing (in private) drawing, napping, learning new things, and playing video games. In the winter I love to figureskate!!! I know a bunch of tricks on the ice.

People have described me the following:

super self-aware

Constantly nervous (kinda true),

" riddle wrapped in an enigma, locked in a box, then shoved in a beehive" - my sibling

the grandma friend (Specifically the one wanting for their husband to come home from the war idk why tho)

Unhinged at times

Goofy insights

I tend to joke around with my older sister about them buying me something (like a snack or something) but the moment they say "alright bet" and then proceed to buy me the said thing I get flustered and be like "noooooo :(( I was just kidding >_< pls i take it backkkkkk)) because I'm not used to being on the receiving end of this kind of stuff.

I actually like to sing. It's just that I'm shy about it and only sing when I'm either by myself or comforting someone. When people catch me singing, they’re shocked af. I've had an where people from my church group with the priest (like around 30) caught me singing, and we had a staring contest for about 15 seconds before they bombarded me in compliments.

I've eaten a burrito with North Carolina Reaper sauce out of curiosity and ended up getting sick as a result (I even had to sign a waiver when I ordered it ahebej)

Thank youuu!

HELLOO HI HI HI HI CUTIEPIEEEEE, absolutely thankful for the amazingly written request *mwah mwah mwah* was very easy for me to write because you let me know everything I needed

And I match you up with

JING YUAN

No words. You two are a match made in heaven

Your calculating nature + his observant nature = absolute power duo

He would absolutely not allow you to push yourself to your limits. He will nicely distract you from something he thinks you're overdoing/ hurting yourself by doing it, he will tell you there's no need for it, and reassure you

YOU LIKE COZY THINGS?? WELL GREAT!! Jing yuan himself is just super cozy to be around, he's like a huge cotton ball, super soft and cuddly!!!

You say you're constantly nervous? Take a Jing yuan, he might not make it dissapear, he's not god obviously, but he will try his best to calm you down, telling you to breath, speaking softly to you, just generally trying his best to make you be comfortable

Enigma....hm not a problem for Jing yuan, as we know he can reach deep into people's hearts and feelings, i assume he would also be like that with you, taking his sweet time over the course of you guys being together to understand you, every small thing about you, even some things you didn't even know yourself about yourself

He always can't help to chuckle at how sweet and cute you are at times, he's the type of man to get you anything you ever dreamed off, and will spoil you in every category, and he finds it even more satisfying seeing your reactions to his small surprises

All in all, I think you two are perfect for each other and when u marry I expect to be invited to the wedding 🥰🗡️

Don't forget to eat and drink babe, take rest, and stay cute

#jing yuan x y/n #honkai jing yuan #jing yuan x you #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan #hsr icons #hsr spoilers #hsr imagines #hsr x reader #hsr #honkai star rail fanart #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail x you

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psitaniumpsichosis · 2 months

Text

~ Spoilers obviously ~

Here he is, Razputin Aquato! Lead vocalist of the Deluded Deluge and our favorite Psychonaut!

This band is just a tiny part of the Time Travel Terrors AU, a big passion project of mine that I've been working on for the past week or so :)!

If the font is too hard to read, tell me and I'll provide a transcription ASAP! Read more cause there is a tiny ramble oops

Quick note on April 21st, this au has been mostly abandoned. I've put my focus more into the Psichosis Timeline, which includes a handful of things from this au.

The only reason I've kept this posted is preservation!

OCs mentioned:

Ginnifer Barkys and Henry Zanotto-Fullbear Jr.

These two are a fun one. In the TTT au, Bob and Helmut adopted two children back in the day, Valley and Henry. Valley was a lot like Bob, a very withdrawn and shy girl who preferred plants over people. Henry however was a rambunctious, buckwild kid with no sense of self preservation.

After the Deluge, Bob fell into a depression and the two (at the time) teenagers had no choice but to leave once it got too hard to sustain themselves and stay on Bob's good side. They both ended up living in France and having families-- Valley having Ginnifer, and Henry having his Junior -- affectionately called Littlebear.

After the two returned, with their families in tow, they were able to reunite with their fathers-- only now, the previously non-psychic children showed psychic abilities!!... Well, okay, Valley did. Henry is still just nuts.

Ginny is very reserved but is extremely snappy, specializing in herbaphony and always carrying some mutated, psychic Venus flytraps in her bag. She's not afraid to beat Littlebear senseless.

Littlebear is a mini-Henry, but is a psychic-- specializing in Pyrokinesis. He has synesthesia, frequently describing the sensations people's voices/any music gives him.

Esther Cruller

Esther is, as you can assume, the granddaughter Ford Cruller. Turns out he had at least one kid running around he was unaware of, and Esther-- suspiciously-- popped up shortly after the first incident of the Time Travelling Terrors.. hmm...

Natalie O'Pia

Natalie is one of a set of twins, her brother being Nikolai O'Pia. They're Cassie's grandchildren, her daughter being their mother and a well respected Psychonaut. Their father is a mystery to them, but.. it's better they don't know about him just yet.

~~~~

More tidbits because I'm brainrotting

- Raz and Lili aren't dating, but they're very close friends-- Lili bullying Raz lovingly for his very obvious crush on Littlebear.

- In TTT, Lili's mother is Otto Mentallis' youngest daughter. Otto had three children, but the other two have been MIA since the Deluge.

- Raz has one more older sibling-- a sister named Jackie. Her original name was Vanya, but she changed it after leaving the family at 17(when Raz was 4).

- Otto completely erased empathy and most negative emotion from his mind with the astralathe after the Deluge, hence his strange behavior and lack of guilt or trauma. He had many reasons to do this, but Raz intends on going in to figure it out himself.

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bcofl0ve · 30 days

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Hey, I'm just joining the fandom and intensely in love with Austin! I feel like you're a great reference in the fandom and I'm in the process of finding out more about Austin and his personality, but he's very reserved, how would you describe him and his life beyond the cliche that's on the internet haha (I love your account)

hi, and welcome! <3 happy to be here and be the "hey girl you know a lot about this man let's chat" resource bahaha. it makes the hyperfixation worth it!

i want to preface this by saying that i of course don't personally know him. my "read" of his personality is just for fun, and i know that to some to degree it's just a creative writing exercise. but here we go!

he is like you said- pretty shy, which he's talked about frequently himself. in his 2019 vman interview (at least i think its that one) he talks about how his parents tried to put him in sports as kid but he hated it and came home crying LMFAO. sweet little thing- in the most affectionate way possible i think that is so Very Austin.

but he's not a total hermit either. catherine martin (baz luhrmann's wife, costume person and producer on elvis) said he has a naughty sense of humor and i 1000% believe that. i think he has a good sense of humor, even if he saves a chunk of that for the people he knows personally. which is fair! when you're in the public eye you gotta hold onto the private parts of yourself that you can, and while i'd loveee to hear what catherine martin is referring to i fully respect that ^. here's one of my fav funny moments we have gotten though. and another one, my #1 favorite of all time.

he's clearly a very lovey person. i joke a lot about the pda sightings (ie the famous "heavy" mask on mask pda at erewhon blind), but i think it's a fair assumption that he's a touch as a love language person. and not just with his gf, he seems very huggy! some of my fav pap pictures of him are of him being lovey with kaia's dad lol! (examples here and here- funny follow up to the second one here)

i also think he's very self-aware and introspective. there's an interview from elvis press where he talks about meeting lisa marie for the first time and about how crazy that was because in working on the movie he felt like he "knew her" as a child and suddenly here she was in front of him as this grown woman. which i think is a really fascinating way to think about that- and a good example of how the cogs turn in that brain of his. i think what he says on the marc maron podcast interview about crying doing a deep breathing exercise is a good example of this too. if you stick around the fandom you'll see that some people get verry worried about him. and while i get it (for ex, i was so worried about him after lisa died i bawled to my dad on the phone about it) i take comfort in how self-aware he seems to be in that i trust him to take good care of himself.

sorry for the essay this turned into- but i hope it was useful! and feel free to follow up if you wanna keep this convo going (:

#austin butler

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garoumylove · 8 months

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Ok. I want to talk about Garou and the idea of monsters some more. I got myself started now haha! Been thinking about it for years but only now feel like writing it out. (TW: discussion of parental abuse)

I want to go back to Garou's 'shitty memories'. In his flashback, he calls himself a 'gloomy' kid and describes himself as a loner. Now, when he refers to him as such, it is implied that he has already been like this for a while, even before he became Tacchan(little shit)'s target.

At the time when this first came out, it made me wonder why he is like this? Is this just his personality? Maybe he's just naturally shy and an introvert? Or did something happen to make him reticent to interact with others. It was up in the air because we knew almost nothing about his family except that at least his father exists or existed at some point.

After the comments about Garou's parents and mother in the last MA chapter, it now gives a much more complete picture of Garou's past and the way his psyche developed.

So, let me paint a picture. We have a small boy (8-10 or there abouts) who is being abused at home in some way: physically, emotionally, verbally etc. We can let our imagination run wild here. But with knowing his mother is not kind, we can imagine there would be verbal and emotional abuse as well.

When Garou describes himself as a gloomy loner kid it's now a lot more heart-wrenching looking back because the cause for his gloominess and standoffishness is most likely from trauma. This is a bit difficult for me to unpack personally because I went through much the same all through my childhood and adolescence but also why Garou fascinates me and why I relate to him so much.

So, we have a small child who is being attacked at home, possibly being told he's a shitty brat, useless, stupid, unlovable and whatever else abusive parents can throw at you. His self-esteem has already tanked way before Tacchan(little shit) came on the scene.

He is gloomy and alone because he probably is too scared to approach anyone because he thinks a) they may attack him like his parents do, b) he's stupid/not good enough/embarassing and no one would want to engage with him anyway. Instead, he spends his time alone buried in books which he uses as an escape.

But here's the thing, even though when you're in that situation, you feel like absolute garbage and not worthy of love or even being alive, there's a part of you that knows that this is wrong. That the way you are treated is wrong and becomes angry. But because you feel too scared to express that anger, it just sort of simmers there and goes nowhere, growing and growing.

Another important thing to remember about humans is that being labeled as a 'bad person' is an immense fear for the vast majority of people. I think of it as an evolutionary fear. Because if your community labels you as a bad person, you will be cast out, and evolutionarily speaking, that means death. So I think almost every person has this fear subconsciously kicking around. Yes. Even abusers. Abusers do not want to be known as evil, bad people and that's why they go to such lengths to present a 'good' image to the world.

Garou is already feeling like shit but probably can't untangle the mess of negative feelings caused by his parents' abuse due to being too young. Now, you have Tacchan(little shit) come in and label Garou as a 'monster'.

Now, not only Garou is feeling stupid, unlovable, like a burden or however his parents make him feel, he is now told he is downright evil. Because remember, monsters are de facto evil. If they are not evil, they are no longer monsters but just strange, fantastical creatures. Monsters in appearance only. A monster, is by definition something dangerous and destructive.

And, it is correct to defeat evil. No one wants monstrous people such as murderers, rapists, war criminals roaming around free. It is right to kill and destroy monsters.

So now, imagine how confusing this must all be for small Garou. He is being labeled a monster. As something evil and befitting execution. However, as far as he knows, he hasn't done anything that is evil. So now he has to figure out an answer as to why he's being relegated to the status of monster. And all he can think of is that same thing: because I am a gloomy, loser kid.

And so his anger and sense of injustice grows. His anger at being perceived as 'evil' when he hasn't actually done anything of the sort. Of people then using this 'monster' label to justify their cruel treatment of him.

He has been labeled as a monster (a bad/evil person) just because.

And this really makes me angry all over again because this happened to me exactly. I was called all sorts of things and labeled as a terrible person by people in my family because I didn't greet them in the morning, because I used the 'wrong' tone of voice, because I didn't show enough gratitude or whatever asinine reason they could come up with. Now, it sounds fucking ridiculous, which it is. But at the time, as a kid, as a growing adolescent it was bewildering and left me with extremely low self-esteem and belief that I deserved to be treated like garbage since I was so 'evil'. And so I became angry. I was angry all the time which just caused my family to confirm my badness.

And this is exactly what happens to Garou. His anger grows, and this righteous anger is then weaponised and used as evidence that he is indeed a bad person.

Garou grows up thinking he is a monster not because he actually did anything wrong, but through this continuous process of others undermining his self-esteem, gaslighting him and making him completely lose confidence in himself.

But what I admire about him is that through all that bullshit he still had a vision of what the world should be like. How people like his kid self, like Tareo, must not be labeled as evil or monsters or treated cruelly just because they're a bit different. How disgusting that is. How horrifying that anyone with an ounce of popularity can label you as 'bad' on a whim and watch that word be used to justify cruelty after cruelty after cruelty.

But there was also a sense of defeat in his big plan. Instead of trying to rid himself of the monster/evil/bad label, he kind of said 'Fine. I am a monster then. You're all saying it, so that's what I must be' and decided to become a nightmarish self-fulfilling prophecy.

It started with abusive parents and continued on the playground, in the classroom where all he heard was that he was bad. Always bad and could be nothing but bad despite not actually having done anything bad. It was meant to break him, and in a way it did since he came to believe it and act like it.

But in the end, he was never able to lose his humanity. I think his heart is too kind and too empathetic. He wanted to save others by sacrificing his human self. And it makes me so unbelievably sad that if it wasn't for Saitama, the world would have lost such a kind and selfless young man because he really came to believe the bullshit that was ingrained in him at such a young age.

Now, at the end of the MA arc (both versions) I think what Garou's journey is going to be, is to shed all that dark baggage of thinking badly of himself and realise he was never a bad person to start with. That everyone had failed him. Now, it's time to build his confidence and embrace his kindness and empathy as the strengths that they always were.

And that's why I absolutely love him. He's a cheeky 'bad boy' with a heart of absolute gold :)

#garou #garou meta #opm #one punch man #one punch man meta #text post #opm meta #garou analysis #one punch man analysis

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the-void-writes · 15 days

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Kevin!! (sorry if this is a lot lol)

🩹💯🔺🌈🎄🐷🍃🍎❤️💔💙💜🤔

IT’S NOT A LOT, DON’T WORRY 🥹💖 THANK YOU AGAIN

Some images of Kevin. Credit to Naylissah and Wervty for the picrews.

TW for mentions of child abuse under the cut (it’s not described in detail)

🩹 Does your oc have any physical and/or mental disabilities?

Kevin’s eyesight is incredibly poor ever since his mother’s abuse. His eyes are permanently scarred and damaged, though Vesely’s doctors have tried their best to fix it. He has to wear protective goggles and glasses because bright lights give him aggressive headaches.

💯 Share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

Kevin jokingly flirts with his friends, but he also has a small crush on Will that he won’t act on because he knows that boy is shy to affection and already likes someone else.

The reason Kevin dyes the tips of his hair hot pink is so he doesn’t look at himself in the mirror and see his mother.

He drinks a ton of coffee, mostly iced, because he has insomnia from his fear of waking up in his old house.

🔺 Does your oc know how to use any weapons?

He mostly uses his own momentum to fight. Rio teaches him how to use his arms as a whip.

🌈 What is your oc's sexual orientation/gender identity? What pronouns do they use?

Kevin is proudly pansexual and makes sure that everyone knows he isn’t picky. He uses “he/him” pronouns, but he doesn’t mind being called “they/them” either.

🎄 What is your oc's favorite holiday?

Christmas, for the music and the food, and because he gets to decorate his friends’ dorm and make it feel like a home. He never realized that kids got gifts on Christmas until he started staying with his friends, and now he’s excited to give things.

🐷 What is your oc's favorite animal?

It’s pigs, specifically teacup pigs. Riley always asks Kevin how someone as “flashy and fabulous” as him could love such a messy animal, and Kevin gets so offended.

Long ago, I actually gave him a pet pig. He called it Ham Solo.

🍃 What is/was your oc's favorite subject in school?

Kevin’s favorite class was an elective drama course he had for a year. He loves performing for people and having their positive attention, in an art form where he’s separated by a stage and no one can run up and hurt him.

🍎 Where was your oc born? Do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? How do they feel about their birthplace?

Kevin was born in Preston, on the outskirts of the main town and suburbs. He acts like he doesn’t care about his old home, but deep down, he’s terrified of the mere idea of going back there. He wouldn’t calm down for his first few weeks of training until Jason swore to him that he wouldn’t return to his parents.

❤️ What are three of your oc's positive traits?

Kevin may act like he enjoys being the center of attention, but he’s actually more humble than people give him credit for. He makes sure his friends get their due respect during training, and even when he brags about his own training, it’s never at someone else’s expense. His loyalty to his friends is limitless.

His personal goal is to make his friends smile and laugh. Whatever they need or want, he’ll do it for them, even if it’s just making himself look like a fool.

Kevin is very patient and understanding. He’ll listen to anyone, no matter how long they take to speak or if they struggle to express themselves. He refuses to make anyone feel dumb or useless.

💔 What are three of your oc's negative traits?

Kevin tends to joke around a little too much. He won’t take certain training exercises seriously, and it ends up getting him hurt.

On that note, Kevin doesn’t care if he injured himself. He thinks he’s indestructible so he charges headfirst into a problem, and he also just has little regard for his own health because he’s been taught to feel insignificant.

Every so often, his aggressive self-loathing comes through. He’ll say the most horrible things about himself when he no longer has the energy to smile through the pain.

💙 Does your oc have any cool/special powers and/or abilities? how are they with magic, if it exists in their world?

The Freak genes that Kevin was born with basically gave his skin and bones rubber-like qualities. He can stretch and squish himself however he sees fit, like how an octopus can squeeze itself through a hole. The further out he stretches, though, the more vulnerable that area is to snapping.

💜 What is your oc's ancestry/genetic background?

Kevin is the only son of the Mallory family. His parents could barely afford their house and food. When Kevin’s powers developed, his mother punished him for it in the cruelest ways possible, nearly blinding her son as a result. His father sat idly by, not lifting a finger to help him. The neighbors were the ones to call the police, and that’s how Vesely heard about him. Jason was the one to bring him in, and he became an important parental figure to Kevin.

Eventually, Kevin gets adopted by a wealthy family, the Valentinas. They’re absolutely guilty of spoiling their new son, but he deserves it after the hell he’s been through.

🤔 What are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

When Kevin is bored, he’ll often stretch and bounce his arm like a yo-yo. If no one else is around, he’ll wrap his arms around himself in a big snake-like hug.

I’m not sure if it counts, but when he laughs at something, it’s a full-on hyena cackle. There is no quiet mode for him when it comes to jokes.

#writeblr #ask games #writeblr ask game #wip: freaks of preston

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thevulturesquadron · 2 years

Text

Belonging.

A feeling that Eddie kept avoiding because it would hurt to rely on it now, and find it to be a self-made lie later.

But he has never had so many people in his life before. Maybe.. things do often get worse, way worse, before they can get better.

Every day the door of his hospital room would open, each time to a different person.

He had been able to see Dustin’s leg heal day by day as he would fill him in on what the gang was planning.

Then Mike would come over and tell him how they were testing their theories on the gates with El’s powers as if it was information he was expected to have.

The girl herself had dropped by on a couple of occasions, shy and curious, and wishing him to get well. She'd heard his song had been ‘bitchin’, and sounded almost demanding when she asked to hear it, once he’d made a full recovery.

Lucas would always check on him on his way to Max’s room and on his way out, and he'd take notes on what voices he should use when reading to her. Sometimes Erica would tag along to make fun of the both of them, and several times she’d just walk in by herself giving him a stash of sweets no one was supposed to know about.

He had finally met Will and his heart hurt talking to him. The third time he visited by himself they had talked and talked for hours and the boy had opened like a book, with a trust that had made Eddie feel dizzy.

Normally, Jonathan followed. They knew of each other, but for some reason their first interactions had been more awkward than during high-school. Maybe it had something to do with Eddie’s guilt at the stupid things he may have pushed onto Steve in his blind sense of self-preservation, without actually considering the effect his babbling would have on third parties. Eddie eased the conversation with a promise of free samples from his own supply only to make it awkward again in the span of the same sentence which he had ended with ‘I owe you anyway.’

Joyce Byers had stopped once with food and he had no idea how to respond to that so he'd pretended to be sleepy and under medication. A peculiar feeling had toyed with him later that day though, while he was shoving a warm cooked meal in his mouth.

He desperately wanted to believe that Jim Hopper was just doing his duty: visiting to gather information from a murder suspect. Eddie would be lying to himself, however, if he didn't admit that it had been easier to close his eyes at night after he had gotten up from the flimsy hospital chair, one full mountain of a man, and gripped his shoulder with a reassuring ‘we’ll make this right by you, kid.’

Nancy had dropped by only once by herself and, on a few occasions, she had showed up with Jonathan in tow, but even that had felt enough in a way Eddie couldn’t describe. It also made a difference to have Robin fill in the gaps with what both her and Wheeler had been up to. It seemed like the two of them had a nose for leads that could help explain why Hawkins and why 1983, and they made a good team. It came with the bonus of seeing Robin doing a poor job of hiding how much she was enjoying the time they were spending together. She said nothing, but every suspicion he'd had during their rush to stay alive seemed to be creating a clearer picture now that he had so much free time on his hands. He mentioned nothing of it. If there was ever something to share it was going to be on her own terms.

And then there was Steve. Steve who had been so liberating to mess with, just to blow off some of the stress while the reaper was looming right over his head. Steve who, later on, had insisted on being a constant part of his life and Eddie had been enough of an idiot to allow it, fully aware of the consequences. Steve whose vision of the future included Eddie, with his 'you’re one of us now’s and ‘you’ll fit right in’s. Steve, who was contagiously easy to believe.

#Eddie Munson #steve harrington #steddie #steve x eddie #fruity four #found family #stranger things found family #dustin henderson #will byers #jonathan byers #the gang is here #alll of them #Eddie is alive #and recovering in the hospital #just rooms away from max #was writing this passage for my fic #and thought it would make a good standalone post #textpost

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altocat · 6 months

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god, this blog makes me so SAD that sephiroth and lucrecia never got to be in each other’s lives, flawed people or not. in a fairer universe, one where nibelheim never happens and sephiroth somehow finds lucrecia and frees her from the cave, describe a sweet/cute moment the two of them might have together. i’m sure their relationship would be very complicated, but they must have SOME sweet moments together, right??

It would be a very, VERY complicated relationship. I definitely wouldn't put it past Sephiroth to outright reject her for what she did to him.

That said, I also think he would find it in himself to--not exactly FORGIVE her--but to accept the idea of her as his mother. After all, he's done some pretty nasty things himself on Shinra's behalf. And I think his need for maternal warmth likely outweighs his capacity to reject her. Knowing what she did to him might turn him a little bitter and nutty for a time, but I also think the desperation for connection might be even stronger. But I don't know. That might just be wishful thinking on my part.

But enough spitballing. Cute stuff.

I'd love to see him, once the bitterness and conflict wears off, to see him being kind of shy around her. Sephiroth is cold and collected around everyone but around her he's clumsy and skittish and openly self-conscious. Like a kid. He has no idea how to start a conversation with her, fidgeting, weirdly boyish. Even calling her his mother feels weird to him. He's never had it before and he's scared.

After she's done apologizing for the millionth time, Lucrecia is very, very gentle with him, stressing that he WAS wanted despite the circumstances, that he is something special and precious and treasured. For a while, they simply regard each other, noting the resemblances, the incredibly distinct similarities. They are perfect mirrors of each other, perfect copies. And maybe in more than just looks. And that knowledge, in the end, might be enough to satiate them, just enough.

#ff7 #asks #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #crisis core #sephcanons #sephiroth #AU #lucrecia crescent #pure wishful thinking fluff #honestly seph would probably reject her #BUT SHUT UP LET ME HAVE THIS

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lav-jjba-brainrot · 6 months

Text

OC Intro Lore Dump thing so when people discover my characters have a starting point.

Important Note before you start reading, there are two different AUs here, the Ship AU, and the Reverse Tarot/Meme/Evil AU. These two AUs and Canon cross over in a side story.

Intense themes are marked with ‼️ both above and below the paragraph(s) so you can scroll/not read if needed

Frank Kekyoin -

Meme/Reverse Tarot/Evil AU

Parody of Dank Meme / M.I.L.F. Hunter Kakyoin. I also recently started incorporating the reverse meaning of his corresponding Tarot card, The Hierophant.

Frank at face value can be best described as a Trashy Fuckboy. He's shamelessly vulgar, in both an offensive and sexual way. This is actually a facade for his fragile masculine ego and a rebellion against his rich asshole parents.

‼️⬇️INTENSE ADULT THEMES WARNING⬇️‼️

Because of his fragile male ego, he is also homophobic. And also internally homophobic as well.

He has a very unhealthy sexual relationship with Reverse-Taro (see below). Because of Frank's indulgence in sex (stems from his ego), he can't help but indulge in Reverse-Taro and his sadistic behavior.

He is avoiding any thoughts and actual feelings about this and further indulging in sex.

He will definitely need some intensive therapy after all of this, debatable if he'll get it any time soon.

‼️⬆️INTENSE ADULT THEMES WARNING⬆️‼️

Miki/Tenmei Joestar -

Ship AU

Started out as a parody of Fanon Shipping Kakyoin, but I wanted to explore and add more depth to them.

Miki/Tenmei is a kind, sensitive, and shy person. Going by his birth name Tenmei, he experienced bullying by other kids growing up because of him having a more feminine personality (and hobbies), and it turned him growing up with crippling self-esteem issues, which only start to improve in SDC with help from the group/the Crusaders.

Tenmei decided to join the Crusaders for multiple reasons. He wants to prove to himself, his bullies, and DIO that he is not weak and cowardly. He also greatly values Shiptaro (See below) saving his life. And finally, Tenmei develops a massive crush on Shiptaro after he saved his life.

The Journey in SDC is very important to his "coming of age". It is a slow and agonizing personal journey, He learns to take pride in his femininity, and decides to come out as Bigender (late into SDC)

"Shiptaro" Jotaro Joestar -

Ship AU

Similar to Miki/Tenmei, he started out as a Parody of Shipping Fanon Jotaro, But I wanted to explore and deepen his character.

Shiptaro is similar to Canon Jotaro in his Hypermasculine appearance and facade, but taken up a notch. Shiptaro is a trans man, and by SDC, he proudly wears his top Scars literally on his chest, as well as his body hair. Of course this didn't come without sacrifices, especially during the 1980s. During SDC, it's slowly revealed what Shiptaro has gone through in order to look like, be accepted as a man, and how he became a Delinquent.

A part of this is also me wanting to explore Canon Jotaro's character and backstory, but in my own way.

Just like Tenmei, Shiptaro develops a crush on him. Shiptaro saved Tenmei because not only of both his heritage (Joestar Bloodline) and childhood morals (Holy teaching him to be a good boy and his childhood hero being Clint Eastwood) of being Just; but because he sees part of himself in him. He heavily relates to being berated and out-casted by his peers, and struggling to find his true identity because and in spite of that.

Shiptaro's crush starts developing when Tenmei shows him kindness in small moments. Shiptaro definitely likes Tenmei, but he avoids accepting it due to internalized homophobia and his need to be Hypermasculine.

Shiptaro also really struggles to express his emotions (other than rage) and open up because of his hypermasculinity and trauma.

Reverse/Evil-Taro -

Meme/Reverse Tarot/Evil AU

The Jotaro Counterpart to Frank. He also works as a foil of sorts to DIO. Also an exploration of what an Evil version Jotaro could look like.

The most recent of characters to this multi-AU. Reverse-Taro is Sadistic, and believes humanity is not worth saving and "deserves to burn in hell". As of right now, I haven't decided the catalyst for this behavior. Reverse-taro is a villain protagonist who is also going up against a villain antagonist in DIO.

‼️⬇️INTENSE ADULT THEMES WARNING⬇️‼️

Because of this, he enjoys humiliating Frank. Especially sexually.

‼️⬆️INTENSE ADULT THEMES WARNING⬆️‼️

#op #ocs #jjba #jjba ocs #frank kekyoin #shiptaro #jjba ship au #lavs jjba ship au

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kickthecan-revolution · 2 years

Text

My sister and I spent about eight hours cleaning out the attic. We pulled some things we wanted to save, we laughed at pictures and teared up at how sweet the kids’ thank you notes to our parents were over the years..

I found a letter that a doctor wrote to an IRS auditor about my sister when she was 8 years old, justifying why moving her to a private school was a “medical expense”. The doctor described her severe nervous tics, that she had stopped speaking and was demonstrating epileptic like seizure behavior, the origins determined to be from an emotional disorder. She was incredulous - she’d always wondered why she’d been moved to a new school but had no recollection of the tics. Her eyes got big and she realized that was right around the time that she started playing “mediator” between my parents - they’d sit her down on the couch, usually my mom was hysterical and my dad was drunk - they’d explain the fight they were having and ask my sister to say who was right or wrong. She had an ability of calming my dad down, and would actually resolve their issue, and that went on for years. My mom would sleep in her bed when things got bad - so yeah, it makes sense she’d have a little breakdown though in the letter, her condition was blamed on the school. We got quiet after that, it was a hard moment. We kept their secrets so well, mostly from themselves.

My brother came over in the middle of the clean out and we told stories about our experiences with our parents that the other didn’t know. We all said how much closer we feel with each other - we asked questions about things we either assumed or were always too shy to ask about, and while the answers were all mostly shocking, it was bonding. How my brother fell off a bike and broke his leg but my mom thought he was faking and didn’t take him to a doctor for weeks. How she was such a terrible cook (she never really tried), my brother would excuse himself to vomit in the bathroom. How our dad had a reputation for smoking pot when it was considered a dangerous drug. How we were expected to keep the house perfectly clean, even raking the soil. So much more, the neglect was so extreme, it’s hard for us to figure out how we turned out the ways we did. We died laughing when we all realized how much we hated riding in the car with him alone, how his footsteps down the hall were so terrifying and when they stopped at your door, it was panic-inducing.

We talked about our lack of grief, and agreed that romanticizing our father would be a mistake. He was a volatile, abusive, destabilizing and often cruel presence in our lives. He frightened us. He enjoyed being mean. We served his ego. He dumped our dog. He was utterly and completely self-absorbed. There’s no changing that and I’m relieved he’s gone. I don’t miss him and why would I? At least I don’t yet. I’m also keenly aware of how much we all acknowledge and appreciated the good things about him, there were a few. He was in so much pain, and hurt people hurt people.

I am believing he’s in a place right now as I write this that is filled with wonder and he’s experiencing love for the first time. And it’s a testimony to the Grace in our lives that we want that for him. And we do.

They LOVE the Easter egg hunt idea, we all realized that is the one fun memory we have. I’m going to fly the kids in who aren’t here - we’re going to do it when the house closes. Our biggest grief will be the house, I think.

I do have a family. It’s never felt that way before now, but I do. It makes me want to move back here.

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morvantmortuary · 2 years

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🌟🌈❄️ for Hex?

Sure thing! Thanks for taking the time to ask <3

🌟- Is this oc good at expressing themself through words or do they have to use other means?

This is a tricky question, ngl! Hex doesn’t think of himself as good with words -- he’s spoken two languages at minimum his entire life (though he’s probably picked up more by now), so he’s very familiar with the feeling of not being able to find the words for what he means in more than one language, which can feel incredibly lonely sometimes. His speech is definitely a bit more casual than that of his cousins, but Maxi’s worked in a traditionalist customer-facing industry since he could properly help Vincent, and their mother put Rora through every charm school-esque class and workshop she could find. Ranza, for all her faults, gets props out of all the original four parents for loving Hex exactly as he was - sometimes imperfectly doing so, but it was still there. Hector got teased by some of the small town kids when he was younger for flubbing his words sometimes, and he still has a little bit of that insecurity at the back of his mind, so he tends to believe he expresses himself best through visuals -- first and foremost photography, obviously, but sometimes through other means as well. He sometimes borrows the words of others; if there’s a poem he likes that describes how he feels about you (as closely as possible), you often find the page ripped directly from a book somewhere like on your vanity or tucked into the windshield wiper of your car. Or he’ll try to explain his feelings by taking you somewhere that feels like what’s going on inside his head, like stargazing or something. He thinks if he can show it to you, it’ll make more sense.

🌈- What does this oc like and dislike about themselves?

Honestly this was the answer that took me a day to think about lmao

Hex has a very complicated relationship with his feelings about himself. (A lifetime of having your self-worth based on your developing abilities to summon the dead will do that to a guy.) He likes his skill set: he’s very competent at everything he does, from photography to murder stalking hacking his less public pursuits. He’s a gifted medium, which we haven’t seen in text yet (but is part of the smut request I’m working on for him rn it’s complicated) and is v rare in the family, even a family of necromancers, so he takes a great amount of pride in that as well. He’s also not shy about accepting the fact that he’s hot - trust me, he knows, and he considers it part of his people skills. But even if he wasn’t, he’d still be good at talking to people, getting them to let their guard down. It’s a cultivated skill that it took him a lot of time to develop, so he’s proud of that one as well.

In terms of what he doesn’t like… well, first he has to admit there’s some things he doesn’t like. :’D He only really opens up about that, even to himself, when he’s having a bad insomnia spell. Then he’ll obsess over how he’s supposed to be powerful but he still hasn’t finished his Chain bc he got too impulsive with a kill, or got too caught up in the moment and forgot to think through his clean up plan/exit strategy. He hates how he loses his cool more easily when things are out of his control, no matter how hard he’s tried to work on his temper bc he didn’t want to end up like his father. While he makes it a point to openly shrug off whatever the rest of the world is doing, bc that clearly doesn’t apply to him as someone who literally can see between this world and the Next, he still panics a little bit some nights about being 40 and having dropped out of college and not having a home of his own or a steadier job than freelance photography, bc he put all his eggs in the Necromancer Scion basket and never thought he’d need ~Normal Person Things~… except now, it feels like he has no alternative even if he wanted one. Especially when he starts dating you — how is he supposed to help create a comfortable life for both of you, outside his whole Family Curse deal? What’s to say you don’t find his “dreamy free-spirited artist” thing exhausting eventually, and leave him for someone who has their shit together. He couldn’t blame you if you did, he’d totally understand and wants the best for you bc he loves you more than anything even if you leaving might kill him in the process.

He tries v hard to give the impression he’s always got something up his sleeve and that he doesn’t care what other people think, but that’s bc if he doesn’t, he might actually have to admit he’s got himself in a bit of a hole and doesn’t know how to get out.

❄- What is this oc's favorite and least favorite food?

I answered this in another ask, but I can mention that Hex is that guy at any state fair that will eat something deep-fried and smothered in chocolate. Maxi thought he had an iron stomach, but the way Hex will go through fried oreos put the fear of god in him once and for all lmao.

thanks again, hon! I appreciate the reflective time, this was fun! 🥰

#nice people #sarah!! 🖤#oc ask memes #hector morvant-casares #hex morvant-casares #hector vibes

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dcscension · 2 years

Text

[ froy gutierrez. cis male. he/him. ] did you see FRED wandering around town ? they’ve been in forks for [ four months ] so they should be used to the storms. word around town is that they’re [ 24 / 23 & a vampire. ] people either describe them as [ logical ] or [ withdrawn. ] there seems to be no in-between. well, when i think of them i picture [ foggy seaside cliffs, fleeting eyes that avoid your gaze & hunched shoulders in a well-worn flannel. ]

TW: BULLYING, DEATH

stats.

NAME. fred espinoza ( freaky fred ). AGE. 24, changed at 23. SPECIES. vampire, transitioning to feeding on animals. SEXUALITY. bisexual. PROFESSION. nothing currently ; former student / marine researcher. ABILITIES. aversion field.

background.

if there was one word to describe fred’s life, it was lonely. he was a solitary child, even well before his parents’ fateful divorce. ( the very same divorce that left him in the hands of his stoic stockbroker father. ) he was an awkward and scrawny child, who only grew into an even more awkward and gangly teenager. fred was bullied for much of his life, and he quickly learned to cling to the fringes. if he kept his head down and didn’t attract attention, the other kids wouldn’t notice him as much. school hallways may have been hell, but he did find some solace in the classroom. he excelled at school, earning top marks and devouring science textbooks for fun. living so close to the california coast, fred eventually developed a keen interest in marine biology. this, combined with his dedication to academics, led him on a full-ride scholarship at stanford. before he knew it, he was graduating top of his class, and his favorite professor was offering him a solitary research position along the remote beaches of the pacific northwest. it was here on these beaches that the monster found him. shrouded by the seaside fog that normally brought him so much comfort, riley pounced. newly-turned, fred became no more than a pawn in victoria’s army. during this time, he did what he did best and kept his head down. eventually, fred came to distrust riley and victoria’s true intentions, and he decided to flee from battle — though, not before unsuccessfully warning bree tanner, one of the few people he’s ever considered a friend. now, in the aftermath of the battle, fred is testing the waters back in washington. though he originally fled to vancouver, he had only stuck around for a couple of days before he found himself wandering the outskirts of forks again. he’s trying to control his powers, with scarce success. he’s almost got half a mind to forge papers and enroll in the closest graduate program he can find, but the thought of repulsing all of the students holds him back. after everything that’s happened, he’s chasing some semblance of normalcy, but he’s not quite sure what that means anymore.

personality.

POSITIVE. logical, scholarly, self-preserving, courteous. NEGATIVE. withdrawn, circumspect, shy, distrusting.

nerd alert !!!! fred feels most at ease when in pursuit of knowledge. he has a natural inclination to the sciences ( particularly biology, but he’s not really picky ). as a human, he was more comfortable around textbooks than people. now, as a vampire that literally disgusts people, books are his only company.

fred would be the type of boy to bring home to your parents, if only he wasn’t so shy. he’s proper polite — the shakes your father’s hand, compliments your mother’s cooking type. but he’ll also stumble over his words, refuse to meet their gaze, and drop his fork whenever he’s asked a direct question. unless it’s in an academic setting, he visibly shrinks from any sort of attention.

he’s relatively new to the vampire lifestyle, but it certainly doesn’t feel like it. his mind has always been clear and logical. he feels the thirst of course ( and oh god he wishes he didn’t ), but he’s never understood the frenzied bloodlust of his fellow newborns.

speaking of the newborns... some may call it self-preservation, but fred calls it cowardice. when it comes down to it, fred will always flee at the first sight of danger. his instinct to run is what ultimately saved him from the grisly fate of the newborn army, but it’s also what got bree killed. what if he tried harder to convince her ? what if he stayed to protect her ? he harbors a deep guilt for this and can’t quite seem to shake it.

fun facts.

8 times out of 10, you can find him at the beach. while the coastline carries bad memories for him, he takes some comfort in the familiarity of it all.

the other 2 times out of 10, he’s dipping in and out of libraries, book shops, etc.

has wondered on more than one occasion if it would be possible for him to explore the ocean floor now that he’s indestructible and doesn’t have to breathe.

has very recently been trying to transition into vegetarian vampirism. although he doesn’t feel quite the same bloodlust as other vampires his age, human blood still hits different u know

he is still pretty clueless about the vampire way of life. he knows the basics — don’t mess with the volturi, mostly — but that’s about it.

potential plots.

a shapeshifter who catches him on la push beach because oops ! how was he supposed to know about the treaty ! the encounter could lead to animosity between them, or maybe an uneasy friendship.

volturi connections ! bree died at the hands of the volturi, and he regrets that he didn’t do more to try to save her. he carries a strong hatred for the ruling vampire coven, but also a healthy dose of fear. they killed bree for being part of the army, so who’s to say they won’t do the same to him ?

fellow lonely nomads pls he needs company

someone who, for whatever reason, can push through his aversion field a little more than others. maybe friends ? c:

a human who sees him lurking around the college or library or bookstore. maybe they have the same interests as him, maybe they try to befriend him, etc.

literally anything u can think of ! bring me all the plots

#✦ FRED | history.#evenfallhqsintro #( me when i talk too much: the sequel )#bullying tw #death tw

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haeresys-realm · 10 months

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Someone published a polling which already has very strange but not surprising results.

Yes, maybe there are still some who don't undertand what does this abbreviation stand for, so here's the definition from Urban Dictionary:

I was always shocked how many people think the second variant could be true. My, this mr Omega build said himself that he is not the one who has the control, he's only THE MOST SELFISH, so no other segment would do such (stupid) thing as deletion all other segments aka his work of dozens of years because one little Rilukkhadevata segment-girl demanded that.

(There was a time I thought that DottoreMains subreddit is a comfortable place where some people who think deeper than cliched moralfags gathering, but how much I've mistaken... There are few of such, and I highly respect them. But it looks like the most of these subs (because they are the loudest and have no shy to say any shit they want without thinking) are brainless kids who like the character only by his appearence and some sort of villanous vibes and THAT'S ALL. Almost NOTHING that such kids post or comment has any link to real canonical Doctor which shows no respect even to script writers' work.) And for sure I will always be shocked by these situation in fandom and especially how stupid they see the Doctor, and coming back to our topic, the original Doctor, so I will repeat that his death or sickness is an absolute anti-canonic shit. He was fuckin' youngster when he graduated and started to experiment on Eleazar, while he concluded with absolutely assuarance that there's an elemental correlation and he really COULD REACH THE POWER OF GOD if only he had a little more input, and we can state Pedrolino give him all he needed, thats why the achievement about reading these old notes is originally called "before «I» was born"; and in Tatarasuna he had no segments yet, because he made them after long decades of researching work on Scaramuccia (because by contrast with Ei he had no guidance and because his goal was not only to make such doll but to enhance this khaenrian technology), it was his original self, but he was ALREADY that self-assured second Harbinger who played his subjects as a rishboland cat, easily changing his voice and appearance and calling Pedrolino from such distance to deliver him a massage just by talking to the atmosphere as some gods do hah. You can say it is all the devices, oh well ok, but he press no button he just uses the energy of ley lines as gods do. So please, don't humiliate his scientifical genius by thinking such cliched way. Even if MHY would decide to explain his defeat this way, it wouldn't be an adequate canon, just some contradictive shit to ignore for not being too disappointed in such interesting plot and character. That's all I want to say and I don't want to arguing with you. If you think the other way... Ok. You can't downvote me here me hereas always, so you can just make a meme but I will stay sane and logical whatever it takes. Even if hoyo would try to crush all their Harbinger's canon where Pedrolino will no longer be the first Fatui as they described him. Being first Fatui but not having a rank as the Fatui is not being a first of the Fatui, it is only being the first to found the Fatui organisation. And these are too different things But it's another topic and you can still think other way, but I am absolutely assured in all my investigations and conclusions and hope hoyo will not be that stupid and contradictive as most of their fanbase. Sorry not sorry for sharpness guys but I'm really tired of this and wait for the worst yet still hoping for the best.

#genshin impact #dottore #zandik #genshin community

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