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#ask for one
bonesandthebees · 24 days
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one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method
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hjartasalt · 8 months
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One time I was working as a waiter at a burger joint where the fries were tossed in salt and coriander and as I was bringing food over to the table for these two huge beefy guys one of them asks what the green stuff is so I go "it's coriander" and his friend goes very seriously "he can't have coriander" and I'm thinking shit ok maybe he's allergic and guy 1 starts pulling up his sleeve to show me something and I'm thinking shit shit shit he's probably breaking out in hives rn and it's my fault but he just shows me his arm and he has this huge cursive font tattoo that just says "I fucking hate coriander"
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sometimes I randomly think about the time a girl posted in this girls only Facebook group I’m in telling everyone how she broke up with her boyfriend and he lied saying that he lost the spare key she gave him, only to then break into her apartment when she wasn’t home and steal the cat they’d adopted while they were together, but then he denied having done this and she didn’t really have proof that he took the cat since he wouldn’t let her come into his place and look for it. And then another girl saw this post and knew her ex-boyfriend, and she was like “girl. I used to hook up with your mans back in xxxx and I still have his number. If you want, I’ll hit him up and get him to invite me back to his place and see if your cat’s there.” And the OP was like “bet.”
So this woman hit up homie dog, asked him out for drinks, went home with him, slept with him, and then woke up in the middle of the night and TOOK THE CAT. Like she had only said that she would confirm if the cat was there but then she took it upon herself to steal this woman’s cat back. Like she full on Trojan horsed this man and then hit up homegirl like “I got the goods. Where you wanna meet.” And then the two of them posted a photo of them together with the cat to the group.
And I just think women supporting women is so beautiful.
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jjian1002 · 13 days
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Chilchuck the struggling girl dad🥳
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cowardlycowboys · 4 months
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girl who needs to ask for reassurance would rather be stabbed than admit they have needs
GIRL GENDER FUNNY‼️ POST MADE BY MOST FEMININE HE/THEY SHUT UP‼️
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bixels · 5 months
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Baffled.
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faffreux · 9 months
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it's weird to be attracted to an ugly frog like wtf is even your taste in men
i won't argue with you about whether or not fawful is ugly but it is weird yes, i agree
i have long accepted that i am weird
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inkskinned · 9 months
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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1percentcharge · 1 year
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One of my roommates cannot stand the way I play minecraft
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irlpretear · 3 months
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100 trans/genderqueer musicians
Bands
Against Me! (rock, folk punk) (x)
The Oozes (punk) (x)
The Hirs Collective (metal, grindcore) (x)
GEL (hardcore punk) (x)
Urn (hardcore punk) (x)
The Black Dresses (noise pop, hardcore hyperpop) (x)
Party Ghost (rock) (x)
Lagrimas (hardcore punk, scream punk) (x)
Doll Skin (rock) (x)
Dazey and the Scouts (rock, indie) (x)
G.L.O.S.S. (hardcore punk) (x)
Dog Park Dissidents (punk rock) (x)
She/Her/hers (rock) (x)
Deli Girls (hardcore electronic) (x)
Dream Nails (punk rock) (x)
Sarah and the Safe Word (rock, dark cabaret) (x)
Pinkie Promise (punk rock) (x)
B. Fraser (emo) (x)
Newgrounds Death Rugby (emo) (x)
Scowl (hardcore punk) (x)
Feminazgul (black metal) (x)
Sports Bra (dream pop, light rock) (x)
Club Sofa (indie pop) (x)
The Cost ov Living (grindcore, harsh noise) (x)
Kuromy (punk) (x)
The Sonder Bombs (indie, pop) (x)
Lidocaine (rock) (x)
I'm letting unseen forces take the wheel (cybergrind) (x)
Gum Disease (punk) (x)
Cam Girl (rock, trash rock) (x)
Gully Boys (grunge pop) (x)
Arcadia Grey (sparkle punk) (x)
Schmekel (folk punk) (x)
Destructo Disk (punk rock) (x)
User Unauthorized (hardcore punk) (x)
The Spook School (indie pop) (x)
Pinkshift (emo) (x)
Glass Beach (emo) (x)
Butch Baby (light rock) (x)
VIAL (indie punk) (x)
Sister Wife Sex Strike (folk punk) (x)
homewrecker. (metal, hardcore punk) (x)
Mega Mango (indie rock) (x)
Keep For Cheap (prarie rock) (x)
Steam Powered Giraffe (cabaret, steampunk) (x)
Thotcrime (grindcore, cybergrind) (x)
Whirlybird (indie pop) (x)
Kampsport (hardcore punk) (x)
Um Jennifer? (alt-rock, punk) (x)
Scarlet Demore (alt-rock) (x)
HappyHappy (folk, folk-punk) (x)
Queen Zee (punk) (x)
Grumpy Plum (slop pop) (x)
Cheap Perfume (punk) (x)
Pollyanna (power-pop, rock) (x)
Ballista (metalcore) (x)
Faetooth (fairy doom, metal) (x)
Lacerated (death metal) (x)
Fortuna Malvada (hardcore punk) (x)
Peach Rings (bedroom power-pop) (x)
Solo Artists
Laura Jane Grace (rock, folk punk) (x)
Left at London (pop) (x)
ZAND (pop, ugly pop) (x)
Ada Rook (hardcore electronic) (x)
Ms. White (pop) (x)
Rett Madison (indie, folk) (x)
Murder Person for Hire (folk) (x)
Backxwash (rap, industrial hip hop) (x)
LustSickPuppy (electronic, rap) (x)
Babylungs (electronic, rap) (x)
Human Kitten (folk punk) (x)
Harley Poe (folk punk) (x)
Ewy (emo, folk punk) (x)
Averstaskta (instrumental) (x)
Andie Schoen (indie) (x)
Elliot Lee (dark pop, electronic rock) (x)
Urias (hip hop, ballroom) (x)
Twink Obliterator* (cybergrind) (x)
Rio Romeo (cabaret punk, indie) (x)
Knife Girl (art pop, indie) (x)
Alexander James Adams (folk) (x)
Starmaxx (pop) (x)
Sofya Wang (pop, alt-R&B) (x)
Boy Jr (indie/alt pop) (x)
Medusa (revenge pop, hip-hop) (x)
Mal Blum (singer-songwriter, folk) (x)
Gina Young (riot grrrl) (x)
Petra Fiyd (indie pop) (x)
awfultune (bedroom pop) (x)
Quinn Hills (alternative pop) (x)
Femtanyl (electronic) (x)
Vivivivivi (electronic, glitchcore) (x)
Lilac Boy (glitchcore) (x)
Rosie Tucker (indie rock) (x)
Ryan Cassata (singer-songwriter) (x)
Pain Chain (noise, synth) (x)
In Love With A Ghost (electronic, lo-fi) (x)
Alice Longyu Gao (hyperpop) (x)
Prophetic Nightmares (ambient synthwave) (x)
Saint Wellesley (indie folk) (x)
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lygma-nygma · 16 days
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I miss the pre-New 52 Tim and Jason dynamic so much. It was basically Jason beating the fuck out of Tim well being all "nothing personal kid I just hate everything about you, your existence and the fact you're breathing right now" and Tim spitting up blood going "what if your mother was a whore, kill yourself" and Jason just deciding right then and there that this kid is his favourite person. Then it just turned into a Tom and Jerry hunt across the city where Jason keeps hitting Tim with the "join me, be my robin" and Tim kicks him in the balls.
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Yall remember how Texas had that "report an abortion" form that they had to take down after a week?
Well, Missouri has one, only it's for reporting transgender concerns.
Comrades. Friends. Romans. Countrymen. You know what to do.
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hurristuff · 9 months
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For this Disability Pride Month, I saw a post that was shittybad and it made me angry. So have this
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batbabydamian · 3 months
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*you opening the love letter* what does your damijon look like, pls pls pls pls pls pls pls, i know it would be so cute, i just know it 🙏🙏🙏
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here you go! thank you for the ask, this was a lot of fun to do! they're working on a case together ^^
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nanaslutt · 4 months
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The nastiest man alive
ft.Geto Suguru
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contains: fem reader, spitting, finger sucking, spanking, begging, dirty talk, rough sex, dacraphillia, cum eating, unprotected sex, cumming inside, multiple rounds, established relationship
MDNI
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ
Geto had you on top of him riding his cock, his thick fingers digging into the fat of your ass as he helped move you up and down on his cock, his feet planted firmly on the bed so he could meet your thrusts halfway, fucking into you from underneath. "Fuck mama your pussy is so fucking loud~" Geto groaned, his eyes glued to where the two of you were connected.
You squealed in embarrassment, your moan turning into a yelp when Geto landed a heavy hand down on the fat of your ass, gripping the skin there. He watched with a slacked jaw as your cunt leaked all over his pelvis, a white ring of your cum sitting at the base of his cock from how wet you were.
Your legs suddenly tensed up when Geto thrust his cock straight into a particularly sensitive spot inside you, making your nails dig into the skin over his abs. He watched your head tip back, your mouth falling open as he quickly caught on, smiling as he fucked his cock into that same spot over and over, leaving you weak on top of him, your body bouncing weakly atop his thighs.
"What's wrong baby? 'S it feel good right here? Hmm? Right here?" Geto teased, watching your face closely as he bullied his cock inside of you, a hand sliding in front of you to rub at your clit. "Sugu- Fuck!" You whined, gritting your teeth together as both of your hands shot to his wrist, gripping his hand to try and get him to slow down--or you were going to cum.
"Nuh uh, just take it, baby, take my cock 'n my fingers~" He groaned, planting his feet closer to his body against the sheets so he could get better leverage while he fucked you. You could do nothing but whine and moan helplessly on top of Geto as he fucked the life out of you, feeling yourself quickly spiral toward your first orgasm of the night from his relentless pleasuring.
His fingers splayed themselves out against your pelvis, his thumb rubbing quickly circles against your clit, the wetness from your leaking pussy making the slide feel so fucking good. Your chin tipped down to look at the man underneath you when you felt yourself approach your high--only seconds away from tipping off the edge.
Geto knew this, of course, he knew your body better than he knew his own. Your pussy was squeezing and pulsing rhythmically around his cock, acting as if it was trying to milk him for all he was worth--of course, he knew you were about to cum. "Sugu- Sugu I'm gonna cum-" You warned him, rocking your hips against his hand, making his thumb rub your swollen clit harder.
"I know baby I know, I got you." He giggled, his eyes flitting between your own teary and your sopping wet cunt, greedily swallowing up his thick cock. You felt the first hot tear roll down your cheeks, the droplet sliding down your rosy face and finding its way to your neck, mixing with your sweat and making it unrecognizable.
"You cryin' from my cock? It feels that good?" Geto asked, cockiness laced in his tone. You would've tried to respond with something just as smart if you could, but unfortunately for you, your orgasm decided to hit you just as his words did.
"Oh fuck- Good girl, I got you mama-" Geto groaned, fucking you through your high. "I won't stop till you're done." He added, biting his lip between his teeth as he watched your body shake and jolt on top of him. Your cunt clenched around his cock like a vice, he had to take deep breaths in order to keep humping his cock into your warm walls and not spill his seed inside you.
Tears streamed down your face from both of your eyes as you came all over his cock, one of your hands falling from his wrist to catch yourself on his sturdy abs, your nails digging into his pale skin. Geto's heart sped up in his chest--of course, he didnt like seeing you sad or crying, but when it was from his dick? That was a different story.
"Ohmygod-" You whined as you started coming down, Geto noticing the way your cunt's spasms calmed down around you, his thrusts stopping in tandem. You gripped his wrist hard, signaling for him to stop rubbing your sensitive clit or you were going to pass out from the overstimulation.
Geto felt like he had come just from watching you, your expressions were so cute when you came, and the way your body was completely at his mercy while you were in such a vulnerable state made him feel high.
While you were busy catching your breath and waiting for your brain to start functioning properly again, Geto took the opportunity to sit up and wrap a strong arm around your body. His other hand came up to cradle your face. You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes as you gasped and whined from the new angle, Geto's still hard cock was pushing against your most sensitive spots inside you like this.
"Did so good baby, how did that feel?" He asked, leaning forward to press a kiss to your forehead. You kept your eyes shut while you spoke, letting Geto pamper your face with kisses. "'S good Sugu, thought I died for a second there." You said, resulting in a giggle from the dark-haired man.
"Yeah? Guess I did something right then huh?" He asked. It was your turn to laugh at his words, his arm wrapping tighter around your body as he kissed your face, making your bodies press flush together.
You were about to let Geto know you were ready to go again when you felt something wet and hot press against your face, the soft feeling rubbing along the length of your cheek, sliding up to your eye before it was gone, a trail of cold, wet, saliva left in its wake--Geto had just licked your tears away.
You cracked your eyes open, the undersides of your eyes a slight pinkish-red color from your crying. You stared at him with raised eyebrows, your mouth open in a small o. Geto smiled at you before pressing a kiss to your lips, "Salty." He mumbled, his hands sliding down the sides of your body and landing on your thighs as he flopped back down onto the bed, his hair sprawling out around him perfectly. How was it possible for someone to be so handsome?
"You'll swallow anything won't you?" You asked him, faux disgust plastering itself on your face as you leaned forward over him, placing your hands by his shoulders on the bed. Geto's hands came to grip the fat of your ass, massaging the fat there soothingly. "If it comes from you I'll drink up anything.~," Geto said cheesily, making you scoff.
"So dirty." You said, referring to his mouth as you gripped his chin in your hand, shaking it back and forth to emphasize your words before you placed it back down on the sheets next to his head. His hands gripped the skin of your ass before he landed another smack, making your body jolt at the unexpected feeling, a gasp slipping from your lips.
"Only for you," Geto said, smiling as he slowly began thrusting his cock inside your hole. The two of you quickly got back into a rhythm, you shut your eyes and moaned into the room as you fucked your hips back onto his cock slowly, meeting his shallow thrusts. "How are you even softer inside? Huh?" Geto asked, tipping his head to the side, trying to get a view of your pussy that was being obstructed by your body so close to his.
"Was it from how hard I made you cum? Or maybe it's so soft from how good my dick is at loosening you up." Geto babbled, making you clench around him. You felt yourself drip at his words, his slow teasing thrusts working you over so well. "S-stop talking." you chastized, squeezing your eyes together tighter as you focused on how deep he was inside you.
Geto giggled, his fingers sliding down to where the two of you met to tease around the entrance of your cunt, rubbing the opening of your cunt and the base of his cock with V-shaped fingers as he collected some of your wetness there. "Why? My words make you too horny?" He teased, keeping his eyes on your face as he watched your expression screw together as he rubbed the outside of your pussy.
His fingers were gone as soon as they came. One of his hands stayed on your ass, helping you fuck yourself on his cock while the other; covered in your cum; pressed itself to your pouted lips, the unexpected feeling making you peel your eyes open to look at him. "Open," Geto spoke, the teasing tone that was just in his voice long gone as he instructed you to suck his fingers coated in your wetness.
You obeyed his words, your mouth splitting and your tongue falling out as you let Geto slide his fingers inside your mouth. "That's it.. taste yourself for me." He whispered, fucking his hips into you harder, feeling himself throb at the sight and feeling of your lips wrapping around his thick fingers.
You moaned around them, your tongue sliding around the digits and simultaneously licking off the liquid around them as Geto watched you with an open mouth, groaning at the sight. "Don't swallow." He instructed, pressing his fingers deeper inside of your mouth, watching with furrowed eyebrows as you gagged around them.
Geto's body jerked when he felt your body react, your throat squeezing around the tips of his fingers as he continued thrusting them inside your mouth. Drool had started to leak from the sides of your lips, sliding down his fingers and creating quite a mess on his hand. One that made his balls clench with the need to fill you this instant.
"God I love how fucking messy you are with it." Geto praised, keeping his eyes glued to your mouth, his hips fucking into you harder, making you release frequent moans and whines around his fingers, vibrating them. "Suckin' them like you suck my cock, they taste that good? Huh? You like the taste of your sweet pussy?" Geto teased, biting his lip harshly between his teeth, his own words riling him up.
He groaned when you nodded, his fingers popping out from between your lips as he pulled them back unexpectedly, a string of saliva connecting your lips to his thick fingers. You watched as Geto brought the messy fingers down to his lips, licking off your remnants.
You cringed slightly at his shameless display of the need to drink up everything that came from your body. He really was a nasty nasty man. A deep blush spread across your face as he pulled his fingers from his mouth after cleaning them off, the hand going back to join his other in helping you fuck yourself on his dick.
"Let me taste you pretty. Cmon, give me a tatse." Geto begged. Tipping his head back, he stuck out his tongue, his hips thrusting into you harder as he waited for you to understand what he meant. The dull taste of your pussy on his tongue from his fingers wasn't enough, he needed more, he needed to taste exactly what you did--and instead of scooping some more up directly from the source, Geto thought of a better way to taste you, a filthier way, one more fitting for him.
"Spit in my mouth mama, dont keep me waiting." He begged, his cheeks dusting pink as he felt himself get closer and closer to his high--waiting for the final thing you needed to give him to push him over the edge. "You can't be s-serious-" You moaned, getting cut off by a groan when he made you roll your ass down against him harder, his cock drilling into your sweet spot from the new angle.
"So fucking serious, I need it, spit in my mouth pretty cmon, cmon, just once, please. He begged, sticking his tongue out once more as he waited patiently to feel it. You felt your entire body heat up at his request. Sure, he had spit in your mouth before, but never the other way around. You were shocked he wanted you to do something like this, you knew Geto was dirty but this felt.. extra dirty for some reason, especially with the way he was begging.
"Y-you're so disgusting Suguru." You whispered, and with that, you grabbed his chin and leaned forward. Geto stuck his tongue out further, moaning shamelessly as he waited for you to spit in his mouth. You wadded up a glob of saliva in your mouth, hyping yourself up you took a deep breath before you just--did it.
Geto moaned a drawn-out moan when he felt your spit hit his tongue, the saliva immediately being swallowed by the man under you before he stuck his tongue back out to show you he had swallowed it, a fucked out smile on his face.
You whined, your lip pouted out in embarrassment before you leaned forward to crash your lips with his, tasting exactly what he just had on your tongue. The two of you moaned and whined into the other's mouth, the kiss being so full of teeth and tongue as he humped his cock into you at an inhuman pace, his balls ready to fill you full of his cum.
"Thank you- thank you fuck- cuming baby- cum- nghhh-" Geto's groan was cut off when you pressed your lips back on his, his mouth opening slightly into the kiss as his cock shot hot ropes of cum deep inside you, his hips thrusting his dick to the hilt inside you, pulling back he fucked the entirety of his cock into you over and over again as he came, his cock hitting your cervix making you whine and cry in painful pleasure as you milked him of everything he was worth.
You broke the kiss, hiding your head in the crook of his neck to whine and gasp into the skin there, the puffs of your rapid breaths tickling his skin. Geto's eyes were squeezed shut as he rode out the aftershocks of his orgasm, holding your body tightly against his, your hearts syncing up to bead rapidly with one another, sounding like you had just run a marathon.
Once Geto's cock started softening inside of you, he started rubbing his hands over your back soothingly, scratching his nails over your skin as he listened to you hum in appreciation into his neck. "You did so well for me baby, you feelin' okay? Anything hurt?" Geto whispered, tilting his head agaisnt the side of your face.
You shook your head, wrapping your hands over his shoulders, keeping your face buried in his neck. "I'm a little embarrassed though." You mumbled, feeling your face heat up with the realization of what he had made you do.
Geto burst out in a laugh, his body shaking yours on top of him. He pressed a kiss to the side of your face between giggles, a heavy hand coming to pet your hair. "I'm so glad you put up with my requests, I love you." He whispered, pressing another kiss to the side of your temple. You groaned, squeezing your eyes shut as you wrapped your body tighter around his, still not ready to come back to reality just yet.
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lamina-tsrif · 2 years
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real event that occured that i cant stop thinking about
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