#band jokes

[aspiringfictionwriter]

Episode Three of Band this Week

Percussionist: Any ideas on how I can stay in the right parts while looking at the director?

Band director: Listen for queues.

Percussionist: What?

Clarinet: He’s queueless!

#aspiringfictionwriter #band #band camp #bandcamp #band memes #school band #band jokes #band director #shitpost #band meme #band quotes #bad jokes #bad joke #this is a bad joke

[the-sixth-first-clarinet]

Trumpet: And then we spent history class learning about… idk it was like Polio or something.

Flute: Aren’t you guys learning about Ancient Greece right now?

Clarinet, facepalming: Yes, and today we learned about *Apollo.*

#band #concert band #band incorrect quotes #band jokes #incorrect quotes #band memes #band kids #concert band incorrect quotes #clarinet #trumpet #flute

[oceanera12]

Battle Band

((My sister insisted I posted this and I cannot tell her no, SO--!))

I think this was something my sisters and I came up with years ago as an idea for a comedy comic or something. This was done in pure fun and I think any band kid can get a kick out of it.

Basically, it is a professional band/orchestra with weapons that at every concert they play at, these robbers drop from the ceiling and try and steal something. So the band fights them, usually stops them, then finishes their show without missing a beat.

The first time this happened, the band was using their instruments to fight them.

The flutes were used as swords with their owners crying and apologizing to their instrument for hurting them.

Clarinets threw reeds like throwing stars and have no idea how that actually hurt people but it did.

Drummers just use their drumsticks. When asked about how and why they are so calm when they break a stick they just say, "We break these all the time. We have A LOT of spares."

Trumpets blast anyone with sound. If anybody gets too close, they whack them.

Tubas are the barricades for the reed throwers. If anybody gets too close, they whack them.

Trombones use their sliders as swords and are actually quite proficient for how flimsy it is.

The Saxophones throw reeds as well, but also can use their instrument as a club.

The strings launch their bows like they are arrows. No one questions this because they are too scared to ask.

The piano player (and his assistant) are the best fighters in the band. However, neither of them fights unless it is going very, very poorly, for it is their job to play the battle music.

The director directs everyone and whacks people with his baton when they get too close. His baton has never broken and no one knows exactly what it is made of or how that is even possible.

The mallets are with the drummers, but they also do battle music

The piccolo player stands in the back and is the prison keeper. If anyone tries to leave, she deafens them.

After the fourth time they find themselves fighting during a band concert, the flutes get raipers because the owner of Felicity the Flute cannot handle using their flue as a sword.

The reed throwers also get wooden throwing stars, which has helped them tremendously. They once tried metal throwing stars but failed so badly that the piano player had to intervene

After that, everyone gets an upgrade. Saxophones get actual clubs, Trombones get swords, and the strings get bows and arrows (and crossbows, in the case of the Violas). Tubas now have actual shields.

The Tubas will play the Jaws theme if the piano players are "occupied."

The trumpets figure out they can use their trumpets like blow darts and use their music sheets as their spit wads. As such, they are required to memorize all of their music.

In the first battle, someone yelled, "Piano player, battle music!" Caught unprepared, the pianist launched into the Mario theme. They rolled with it, but by the time the flutes got their rapiers, he had a binder of music including: Mission Impossible Theme Pirates of the Caribbean Star Wars Soundtrack Avengers theme and many, many more!

(Side note: the Mario theme is now the favorite song of the band and what they close every show with)

The Bus driver and Stage Manager are the goalies on the side/backstage. If anyone tries to escape they kick them back into play.

The reason the piano player even has an assistant is because of that one time he had to get involved in a battle and there was no music. So a random member of the band (read probably a trumpet) went over and began to play Chopsticks. They don't talk about that time and Chopsticks is not banned from being played in the band.

The piano player is also ex-military, which explains a lot.

The only oboe's name is literally "Plot Convenience" and he answers every unanswerable question with his name. They know he fights because he can kick butt during band training (which they implemented after the 7th time they go caught in battle) but no one really knows how he fights. They are a little busy and no one really sees him long enough to nail it down.

For reasons (plot convenience) the bandits are always the same and we have decided it is the choir. No one knows it is the choir and the band actually enjoys the choir. However, the choir hates the band for reasons unknown (and even Plot Convenience doesn't have an answer for that one)

No one knows how these weapons even get into the concert. They have played at the White House and also fought there. No one knows where they were hiding any of the weapons including the band (Plot Convenience)

Eventually, they are hired by the government as spies.

("We are not spies!" "Then how did you get crossbows into the White House?" "....Are we spies? Did you all know this?" "Plot Co--" "SHUT UP, PLOT!"

Unfortunately, the piano player refuses to play on anything less than a baby grand so they are all kind of limited on where they play.

Every time a member or section goes down, there is a music cue alerting the rest of the band. (*drowning theme from Sonic the Hedgehog* "There went the director!")

At this point, Plot Convenience just raises his hand whenever someone questions something that doesn't have an answer. The director then waves his baton and says, "Everyone on three. One, two three." Everyone: 'PLOT CONVENIENCE" Plot is so proud of these children, even though he has taught the entire band they don't exist.

The robbers always come from the ceiling. The one time they didn't come from the ceiling the band got mad sooooo

#band #band kids #marching band #orchestra #original story #comedy #don't take this seriously #it is a JOKE #choir #choir stuff #band jokes #battle band #3 2 1 FIGHT #flute #trombone #piano #tuba #drums #mallets #clarinet #saxophone #strings #cello #violin #viola #bass #oboe #trumpet #muscians #all my siblings were in band

[thebanyantee]

Unleash the Groove! 🤘😂 Rocking out with legendary bands and a hint of humor. Snag their merch for the ultimate fan swag! 👕 🎸✨ Explore our merch at ➡️ Band Merch

#acdc #the beatles #led zeppelin #queen band #tshirt #band merch #band tshirt #rock music #band tee #guns n roses #the rolling stones #band memes #rock memes #band jokes #music meme #music jokes

[eddieshellscape]

i fucking love burgers and fries

#music #every good boy deserves fudge #every good burger deserves fries #clef notes #bass clef #treble clef #idk music shit #i play music idk the theory behind it #it's like gravity #i experience it but I don't know how newton came up with it #band #band jokes #band kids

[when-everyone-u-know-is-high]

More like kylo ren- daunte

#band jokes #band #music

[sunshinetomorrow]

#hello people reblogging this #the dark castles are a joke #i actually think both of these bands are preddy good :) #dont be mean please or ill block you

[ohposhers]

i am so fucking delusional ok so my au where hickory is a country yodel troll so hes still a horse and he runs into JD while he's camping out near lonesome flats and they spend all night sitting by the fire drinking and laughing and exchanging stories and JD throws a fit a little bit cause Hickory has never heard of Brozone and its so over for me

#trolls #troll band together #trolls world tour #john dory trolls #hickory trolls #you guys gotta help what am i actually fucking doing #my art #Hickdory #this whole thing started as a joke but now im invested

[cubezart]

trolls movies are pretty good

#🐟 my art #this joke has been stuck in my head for weeks #trolls #dreamworks trolls #trolls band together #trolls branch

[seb-the-nerd]

music school teaches you aural skills...

(note: this joke is funnier when said out loud...aural and oral sound very similar...)

#my true sense of humor is revealed #dirty jokes #band jokes #and #dad jokes #funny #bad jokes #music #musician #music school #music composer #music composition

[judaswail]

so funny how mikey's death in the ghost of you mv affected his development in the band's aesthetic through the years. like yeah mikey of course you get a badge of honor with your black parade uniform. you died in action. yeah you can't look old like us at wwwy. in fact you're gonna be a vampire. because you died at war in 2005. obviously

#this is herstory #my chemical romance #mcr #mikey way #gerard way #ray toro #frank iero #i do feel the need to clarify that i agree he looked like that because if the band had stayed that way he wouldn't have survived #this is just a silly ahah joke

[aspiringfictionwriter]

Episode Two of Band Every Tuesday:

Band Director: The only person who can have stuff on their stand is the oboist because they have special equipment.

Me, the oboist: See flute? I’m special!

The flute player next to me: Sure. We totally don’t have the same parts but on different octaves!

Me: At least trumpet has my side!

Trumpet: Uh. No. Flute is scary. Have you seen them with a gavel?

Me: Nevermind. You win.

#band jokes #band camp #band memes #band #school band #orchestra #oboe #oboe memes #oboe player #flute #flute player #flute memes #trumpet #trumpet memes #writer things #writers on tumblr #writersociety

[the-sixth-first-clarinet]

Trombone: CLARINET! I NEED YOUR HELP! I—

Clarinet: Is the living room on fire?

Trombone: …No?

Clarinet: Then it’s not an emergency. *hangs up*

Baritone: Well? What did they say? What do we do about the portal to hell in the living room?

Trombone: Apparently it’s not an emergency.

Tuba: *being strangled by a demon* WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN IT’S NOT AN EMERGENCY?!

#band #concert band #band incorrect quotes #band jokes #incorrect quotes #band memes #band kids #concert band incorrect quotes #clarinet #tuba #trombone #baritone

[robotclownindulgence]

Less "optimus and bumblebee fight megatron and starscream" and more "motley crew of ocean-themed beastformers try to get their old band back together and have to trek through various galaxies to find their missing members"

#just like some small-scale spinoffs would be so fun for tf #just a couple of cartoon shorts or comic formats like tf galaxies #resi.txt #transformers #maccadam #that thing with the band isn't a joke btw #i really want to see all the squid-bots like skylla and a #all the shark-bots interacting also somehow rockbuster is the “manager” who had the idea of getting the band back together #after the great warin the first place

[tastefulbean]

Trolls discord has ruined me

#floyd trolls #trolls floyd #floyd tbt #trolls #trolls dreamworks #dreamworks trolls #trolls 3 #trolls movie #trolls art #trolls fanart #trolls band together #emo minecraft #emo floyd #my art 2024 #this is a joke dont come after my soul pls

[asurrogateblog]

by far the best reaction to john lennon's death was george getting all irritated with him like "idiot should've been more prepared to die. good luck putting your spirit at rest now🙄🙄". and the reason its so funny is because, given the numerous ghost encounters even just between the three remaining beatles, by all accounts george was right

#i know ive posted too much about john lennon's ghost but i just find it -so- deeply fascinating and absurd #love that george is so spiritually secure it didn't even bother him that much. comparatively at least. #this is why i think you're allowed to make jokes about dead beatles more than other bands #according to their -own- beliefs neither john or george are really dead in a way that matters. so it's cool. #the beatles #george harrison #john lennon