#because it’s better than the thought of ending up alone or never having children we desire

[flowachild]

I’ve felt a little peace lately in the consideration that I’d be okay if I didn’t end up married with children

#I think there’s a lot of pressure especially as a woman to settle down in such a short period of time because our biological clock is shorte #and we tend to settle in unhappy and toxic relationshipsb #because it’s better than the thought of ending up alone or never having children we desire #but I’ve decided I’d rather be alone than unhappy with someone just to say I did these things #and be miserable lol #I’m happy to travel and explore the world and my interests and meet new people and learn more #even if that means I do it alone #as much as I’d love to do it with a soulmate #I feel leave knowing I won’t settle for less or bend over backwards for someone who doesn’t love me to do so #*peace #🧘🏽‍♀️ #thoughts

[thehmn]

It might simply be that I don’t frequent ADHD forums enough but I haven’t seen a whole lot of talk about learned social withdrawal.

As a child I made friends left and right but as we all turned into self-conscious teenagers it slowly became more and more difficult for me. Plain and simple, other people thought I was weird. For some reason I never got bullied which I think is related to something my teachers kept telling my parents “She’s such a sweet, bright child and we can tell she’s not malicious or trying to be disruptive on purpose but we can’t teach her anything”

Basically people couldn’t figure me out. I had good social skills with both children and adults, I had a good moral compass, i felt compassion and empathy for others and was willing to go against my friends if I felt they were being bullies, I taught myself English and my drawings showed good observation skills. Because of all that it was decided I should start school a year sooner than most kids and my parents were very proud. Unfortunately that’s probably one of the main reasons why I was never diagnosed with raging ADHD as a child. People soon realized I didn’t do well in a school setting but assumed it was because I “wasn’t done playing” and my ADHD symptoms were interpreted as childishness.

So as I got older my classmates started to distance themselves from me. They were always kind and friendly but they didn’t know how to deal with me and ever since then people have always been worryingly comfortable with calling me weird to my face. I get the impression it’s because they think it’s a choice on my part. To them I’m clearly of “normal intelligence” so I must be acting like this on purpose and my parents would repeatedly tell me to “just act normal” as a child when I told them I was struggling to make friends. I tried so damn hard but kept failing. I knew something had to be different about me and when I first heard about ADHD I thought “That’s me! That’s how I feel!” but my parents said that was impossible because I wasn’t hyperactive.

Because nobody wanted to help me I eventually learned to just stop trying to make friends and keep to myself. I was so tired of being told by friendly, well-meaning people that I was so weird and quirky and unique only for them to distance themselves once they realized it was permanent and not something I could turn on and off for parties. I always enjoyed being alone so it wasn’t a huge loss but it did feel incredibly lonely at times.

Things got a lot better when I became an adult, mostly because adults are generally more chill than teens so my ADHD behavior isn’t as embarrassing to them and ironically they’re often surprised to learn I don’t make friends easily. Unfortunately I learned to be withdrawn in my formative years so new friends are still a rarity. Before I really sat down and put my past into context I even started to wonder if I had autism despite not connecting with anything autistic people said about their experiences. I went as far as to be tested but wasn’t surprised when the diagnosis was negative because of course it was, I kinda already knew that. I was just looking for an explanation.

So while there can be overlap between ADHD and autism (I have just such a friend) my experience is also that oftentimes people with ADHD simply learn to stay away from social situations and entertain ourselves which ends up looking like autism to outsiders.

#adhd #add #autism

[furiousgoldfish]

While growing up in an abusive family, a part of me strongly refused to grow up, in fact it's still resisting it. I thought at first, it was because I was taught that I am less and less valuable as I age, but it wasn't only that. It turns out, growing around mostly abusive people, can give you some horrifying notions of what it means to be an adult.

I am going to write down how I perceived adulthood, as an abused kid, because I need to work on it myself, and if there's somebody else feeling this, know that these are not your only option for a future:

All adults are stupid, unkind, boring, bitter, aggressive, obsessed with money, do not understand people around them at all.

All adults have to play specific roles assigned to them and don't step outside of these roles. For instance: mother, grandma, father, aunt, teacher, uncle, neighbour. All roles are restrictive and people can only do whatever is assigned to this role (cleaning, cooking, working a job, going to army, being married, etc)

Adults can't play, be curious, or have fun. Adults have to be focused on their role and stay grumpy, serious, bitter and busy. They don't laugh except when drunk.

Adults are having it tougher than children. They are unloved, uncared for, nobody considers them nice or pretty, nobody wants them around or gives them gifts. Adults are permanently unwanted and undesired everywhere.

Adults have good opinions only of people who are already dead. Everyone alive is constantly being humiliated, shamed and criticized. It's better to be dead.

Adults don't care about children, and only think the worst of children. Adults think children should only exist to work and to be yelled at. Adults are dangerous.

Adults don't care about friendships, loyalty, kindness, courage, bonds, closeness, care, or love. Adults friendships are drinking and smoking in the same room while talking badly about every other person in their life. They don't play, laugh or share things. It's a big game of pretense that the other has it better.

Adults lie and fake everything. They lie about their home life, about what they know, about money. They lie about, and to their children. They tell lies confidently. They make things up if they don't know and then tell those lies as if they're truths. They don't feel guilt if caught lying and instead double down on it.

Adults have money but they can't spend it. They have to keep paying bills and they never have enough money for bills and food. They will buy alcohol and cigarettes though, but they're always stressed about bills. They consider it children's fault.

Adults are endlessly stressed about having to 'feed a family'. This is so bad that they actually end up hating their families. They wish all of their children were dead so they wouldn't have to feed them. They can't seem to stop having children but also hate feeding them. It's like they're forced into it.

Adults have to work constantly. They work their jobs and have to do endless chores when they get home. They have to get up early to do chores and do them late at night. They have to do everything alone, unless they can get a child to do it for them. They can't select not to do it, they have to shift it to someone else to avoid it. Adults have no free time, or hobbies. They have to work at all times and always know what needs to be done.

 Adults have bodies that work less and less. They can't run, climb or jump. They're always having surgeries and can barely walk. Their backs and hips hurt and they complain about the pain every time they need to do anything. They blame the work for this but can't stop working. They're still somehow stronger than children when they want to hurt children, and then they're fully mobile. But at all other times they appear sickly and need stuff done for them.

Adults never get over anything that ever happened to them. They're always victimized by everything that ever happened to them. We the children have to get over things instantly, but they are angry and bitter about the past forever. They hold grudges against family members forever. They freely take things out on other family members. They never forgive or forget or calm down.

Adults are not passionate about anything. Their main priority is looking good in front of others and convincing everyone they're better than they are.

Adults selectively care when someone is crying. If it's someone they don't know, they'll act nice about it. If they know the person they will tell them to shut up and stop annoying them. It's like they fall for strangers tears but see through anyone else's as pretense. I don't understand.

Adults die and then other adults get drunk at their funerals. They say you need to cry but they're only serious for the public part and then go and have parties where they just laugh with everyone. Adults don't care about the dead people but say you're not supposed to say anything bad about them now they're dead. They pretend they cared while the person was alive but they didn't. They obsessively clean and decorate graves just for others not to think they 'didn't care'.

Adults will betray anyone's secrets. Adults will tell other adults whatever you told them in confidence. Adults cannot be trusted with information.

Adults judge and badmouth anyone who doesn't act the way they think people are supposed to act. They will impose their own rules and morals on others and shame anyone who doesn't agree. They insist that everyone needs to follow their assigned family role even though they complain about hating their own. They use the most horrid slurs for people they consider 'bad at their role' and write these people off as parasites and worthless people

Adults all agree children should be obedient, quiet and never want anything or disturb them. They want children only to present them with achievements and work for the rest of time.

Adults have sex but nobody is supposed to say anything about it. It's unclear whether they want to be doing it. If it's a part of a role it doesn't seem like they can say no.

Adults can't be cared for or pampered like children can. Adults do not get candy or chocolate. Adults say it's because children are cute and they're not. Adults are jealous of children. Adults complain about not being cared for.

Adults don't understand how hard children have it and always say being a child is the easiest and best time of life. They seem jealous and tell children to be grateful because it's only going to get worse. I can't imagine surviving worse. They claim their childhood was better than anything they deal with now because food was free and they didn't have to have a job.

Adults have no freedom. They have to stay with family and play their role. They can't survive otherwise. They leech off of each other and hate everyone. They live by imposed rules that force everyone to stay together even if they hate each other. They hate everyone around them. They feel loyal to no one. They bring misery to themselves and people around them and don't feel shame or responsibility for anyone they've hurt or ruined.

Adults don't see others as people with their own inner world. They insist that everyone except them is stupid, shallow, mindless and worthless.

Adults are all cowards who will submit to anyone who is stronger and louder. They'll only fight those who are weaker. They don't care about justice and will happily punish victims in unfair fights. They themselves are bitter and upset if they don't get the justice.

Adults only ever look out for themselves. They don't care about other people. They want money and others to admire them and to serve them. If that is not happening they are angry and bitter at the entire world.

Adults don't see good in other people. They don't see what someone else needs or deserves. They don't care about adventures or magic. They don't have wonder or awe inside of themselves. They don't even look at beautiful things in front of them. They don't care about nature, animals or trees. They don't care about books or knowledge, or reading. They don't care about stories or legends. They don't care about people who suffer so badly they want to die. They judge people for suicide.

They don't care about creating or making something unless it can be sold for money. They don't even tolerate others doing it.

They love no one. Everything they do is a drag and a pain to them and they want to push their work on someone else all the time. They don't care about anything except money and how to get more attention and keep pretenses. They have no true friends or care for anyone. All they have is work, rules and roles they need to act. Their lives are meaningless. Even though they have money they cannot travel or use it for fun or joy. They don't think anyone should be free to do as they want. They have no dignity or honor but pretend they do when in company. They yell but pretend they're victims for 'having to yell'.

They don't care if someone wants to die because of their actions. They don't care for anyone who wants to live differently. People who live differently are worthless and stupid to them. They think they're the only ones who are always right even when they're always wrong.

Adults are convinced that when I grow up this will all make sense and I will grow up to be exactly like them

If you felt as a child, or still do, that these are the truths of adulthood, and something you'll end up becoming, it's not true, and it's mostly just abusers who live their lives in this manner. If this is the only thing you've ever known and seen as a child, adulthood would be terrifying and feel like you'd have to lose your soul in order to become like this.

I'll write another follow-up debunking these and writing what I feel adulthood is right now. It's just definitely not that. And living around people who act like this is normal, is traumatic.

#growing up in abuse #traumatic childhood #perceived notions about growing up #adulthood myths #myths of adulthood from a mind of an abused kid #child abuse #abusive adults #abusers making themselves seem like the norm #growing up in narcissistic household #the empty space in the middle is just so tumblr would let me post #apparently there's a character limit per block #and all of my bullet points were just making one block #the limit is 4096 characters btw

[auras-moonstone]

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ don’t blame me for what you made me do

ᡣ𐭩 word count: 1.6K

ᡣ𐭩 pairing: gf!ethan landry x gf!fem!carpenter!reader

ᡣ𐭩 summary: y/n is finally able to get revenge on her sisters when the bailey family reaches out to her to ask her to join the plan.

ᡣ𐭩 contents/warnings: implied character death. murder. family issues. bonding over shared issues. fluff.

ᡣ𐭩 author’s note: on sunday it was scream 6’s anniversary and it made me miss that era sm😫 the fandom is so dead, especially the ethan/jack one.

y/n had always felt like an outsider in her own family. her mom’s favorites had always been sam and tara. and y/n went under her radar, the curse of the middle child, they say. and then there were her sisters, who she was also not very close with. despite having only one year difference with tara, the youngest sibling had a better relationship with sam, so y/n was also left alone in the sibling department. she only had her dad, who used to be her entire world until he packed his bags and left her behind. and it was all because of sam carpenter.

revenge is a dish best served cold, they say. and after years of waiting, the opportunity came to y/n. it actually knocked on the door of her new apartment in new york city.

“um, hello? can i help you?” the girl asked confused, seeing three strangers standing before her. one was a man around his forties, then there was a tall boy with curly hair and a red-haired girl with green eyes.

“hi, y/n carpenter, right?” the man said.

“yeah… do i know you?” y/n asked, a tad creeped out.

“no, but you knew my son, richie.”

richie, the man who used to date sam and then try to kill her. the man who tied y/n up and hid her in a closet, telling her she was going to be okay. murdering her was never in richie’s plan, and it still confused the hell out of her.

y/n’s eyes widened. “yes. i’m really sorry about what happened.”

“thank you.” the man gave her a small smile. “my name is wayne bailey, these are my children, quinn and ethan.” his two kids waved at her and she smiled in response. “do you think we could talk for a few minutes? i have something to say that might interest you.”

she reluctantly let them in, and wayne started telling her about what richie told them. how he noticed the tension between her and her sisters, how he could see the resentment in her eyes everytime she looked at sam, how sometimes they became murderous too.

“i don’t know what to tell you… what’s this all about? why are you here?”

“you see, y/n, your sister murdered my son. the light of my life, and i want her to pay. and by what richie told me, i think that’s what you want too.”

that captured her interest. “sam is the reason my dad—the only person i was close with in that damn family—left. so, whatever you have planned, count me in.”

“are you okay?” y/n asked ethan, who looked very deep in thought as they entered the dorms building. they had just came from a meeting at wayne’s house, and ethan had been dead silent the whole way back home.

“i just… aren’t you scared? that things won’t work out and we might end like every other ghostface?” ethan was very expressive when he talked, he talked with his whole body, especially his hands. the maniac hand movement showed y/n that he was very anxious about the whole thing.

during the time she had spent with the baileys, she had reached a conclusion—wayne and quinn were all for revenge, it was clear they were furious with sam. and ethan, although he truly loved his brother and hated sam for what she did, was in on the plan for the mere purpose of pleasing his dad.

richie had been the favorite, and ethan wanted so bad for his father to see him like he once saw his brother that he was willing to sacrifice his life for it. y/n understood that feeling of wanting to belong more than anyone else, which was why she had connected with ethan in a way she never thought would be possible.

they became each other’s comfort, each other’s safe place when things got overwhelming. it really sucked to fake being wary of him, to act like she was trying to keep her distance because—like the rest of the group—she didn’t trust the new members, when it reality she just wanted to wrap her arms around his frame.

“i won’t let anything happen to you. even if i have to take a knife to the heart to make sure you get out of this alive, i’ll do it. i can promise you that.”

ethan shook his head. “but that’s exactly what i’m worried about. something happening to you. the thought of getting out of this without you… fuck, that can’t happen, y/n.”

y/n had seen ethan being vulnerable, he let himself be like that around her, but this was the first time she had seen him cry. it was a sight she never wanted to see again.

she carefully brush his tears away. “okay, then we’ll have each other’s back, okay? please don’t cry, you’re killing me.”

“i’m sorry, i’m just really scared.” he hid his face on the crook of her neck and took deep breaths to stop the tears.

“don’t be sorry. never apologise for feeling, especially to me. it just makes me sad to see your pretty eyes with tears, but i get what you say.”

“i don’t want to go back to the group.” he pouted.

y/n chuckled then checked her smartwatch. “it’s late. chad might wonder where you are.”

ethan groaned. “i don’t care. i’ll tell him i was at study group. can i stay here for a bit?”

“you’re a little obsessed with my presence, landry.” she joked.

“and what if i am?” he said before letting out a nervous laugh.

y/n took him in. his strong arm was settled on the back of the couch, right next to her head. his temple was resting on his closed hand and he was staring intently at her with those killer deep brown eyes. he was so beautiful and she was so weak when it came to him. and fuck if his full lips didn’t look so inviting.

her index finger lifted and it was soon tracing the shape of his lips. they felt as soft as his cute curls. “then we’d be on the same page. because i’m a little obsessed with you.”

ethan’s arm left the back of the couch to end up around the back of y/n’s neck, pulling her close. her shaky hand found its way to his hard chest, right where she could feel the thunderous beats of his heart, which only became more erratic when their lips finally met.

“mmmh, wanted it so bad.” he said between kisses. “we’re not going back to being just friends right? because i can’t handle that.”

“are you out of your mind? no way. you’re mine and i get to kiss you whenever i want. well, whenever i can.”

“yours. fuck, that sounds so good.” he hummed contently. “it’s going to be so hard to hold back from you.”

“but then, when we finally get to release the tension, it’s going to be so good, don’t you think?” she smirked.

“you drive me insane.”

“right back at you, pretty boy. i don’t think you realize how powerful those puppy eyes of yours are.”

ethan’s blood rushed to his cheeks and y/n giggled like a schoolgirl. her chest felt like busting. she was finally happy. truly. the 6 foot two brunet boy lying beneath her was her one source of happiness, and she was not going to let anything take him away from her.

y/n stood in her ghostface costume in front of her sisters. she was practically bouncing on her feet, excited to reveal herself and see the look on the girls’ faces. ethan, who had already shown his face, had the biggest smile. y/n was so adorable he had to close his hands in a fist to fight the temptation of bringing her into his arms.

“ready for the last surprise?.” wayne asked.

“come on, babe.” ethan squeezed her waist and y/n took the mask off. her sisters stepped back in shock, faces tinted with hurt.

“how could you?” tara spat as tears fell from her eyes.

y/n rolled her eyes. “oh, cry me a river.”

“why would you do this? is this all because of him?” sam pointed her head at ethan. “what? you fell in love and he brainwashed you into becoming a killer?”

“do you think i’m stupid? of course not.” she scoffed. “i mean, i did fall in love with him, but that’s besides the point. they came to my door a few days after we moved.” and she told them how she came to work with the baileys. “i waited years, and now… i can finally make you two pay for how shitty you’d always made me feel.”

“what are you talking about? we’re your sisters, y/n.”

y/n glared at tara. “you have some fucking nerve. you’ve always made me feel neglected, until sam left town. we started to bond, but as soon as she was back… you forgot about me. how can you even say you’re my sister?” she yelled in anger. ethan took her hand in comfort. “and you?” she looked at sam. “you’re the reason my dad left, and i swear to god i’m going to show you exactly how badly that hurt.”

“you crazy bitch. you’re insane.” tara screamed at her.

ethan slashed her stomach in fury. “watch your fucking mouth when you talk to my girlfriend!”

“let’s just get over with this. y/n deserves a break.” quinn said.

the carpenters sure put up a fight, y/n was the one who got most of the wounds, but they had managed to succeed. wayne and quinn left to take care of gale and mindy while ethan stay behind taking care of his girlfriend.

“are you feeling alright?”

“don’t worry, eth. they’re bad, but not that bad. i’ll for sure live.” she reassured him. “we made it. i told you we would.”

“you did.” he laughed, and then hugged her tightly. “you scared me so much, though. i really thought i’d lost you when i saw you lying on the ground.”

“i could never leave you.” she brushed her nose against his and whispered against his lips, “i love you. thanks for walking into my life.”

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry fic #ethan landry oneshot #ethan landry scream #ethan landry x y/n #ethan landry fluff #scream fanfic #scream iv #scream 6 #ghostface #jack champion #jack champion x reader #jack champion x y/n

[principledpropo]

Does she… hate her children? Despise having to be involved in any way - does the action of simply discussing Damian piss this woman off?

Because if so, then god damn I love it, because we get to see the truly perfect antithesis to Loid and Yor.

The Forgers aren’t perfect, but the way they involve themselves in Anya’s life is beautiful. It’s warm and loving while teaching her to make and respect boundaries (that’s difficult for a telepath lmao), but their walls almost always come crashing down the second they find themselves alone in each other’s company. Loid may be strict and Yor may be a little too enthusiastic, but every action they take for Anya is for her sake, and every mistake they make is an experience they immediately learn from to better raise Anya.

The Desmonds aren’t physically abusive, nor do they scream nor degrade their kids. Both Desmond scions are clearly well-off, having wealth and service in spades. Everything they could ever want, at the snap of their fingers. Except their parent’s love and attention. Donovan sees his sons as tools to further his name and goals, while Melinda (and this is just conjecture) shows shades of a woman who never wanted children and is searching for ways to live and enjoy her life free of their burden.

(Little tangent, but people, women especially, shouldn’t be saddled with kids if they do not wish to. Their body, their choice, and no one should ever say otherwise. That being said, when the child is born, the parent has a lifelong responsibility to that child, and regret is no longer an option. I see so many parents who practically begged to have kids, but ended up resenting them, and in turn their kids grow and feel the same way to them. You can never let your children feel like they are a mistake. Never.)

To Donovan, his children are materials that can be shaped into weapons for his political gain and clout. To Melinda, (again, just a hunch), they are nuisances she can’t be bothered to deal with.

But Loid and Yor, who don’t share a single drop of blood with Anya? Who created and joined their family for self-protection? They can’t stop themselves - they shower Anya with love. They can’t spoil her with gifts like Becky and Damien get, but they never starve Anya of what matters most: their love, their time, and their energy. Anya is an esper - if she grew up with people like Desmonds, she’d know immediately she was unloved. Hell, she has! Returned to foster homes again and again. So it is beautiful that a girl who can read her parent’s anxieties and fears has never once heard them think she was a mistake (well other than that first episode with Loid lol). They have had every opportunity to grow resentful of Anya, but they never have. They think the world of her. Mr. “It’s for the mission” Twilight bends over backwards on a whim for his daughter. Yor “I won’t let my daughter die in school” Forger would commit war crimes if she even thought her precious child got a boo boo.

The Desmonds, at best, see their children as investments and at worst mistakes. But no matter what Anya does, good or bad, it doesn’t ever change their perspective of her.

She isn’t just a cover child to them. She’s their daughter, and they’d shake heaven and earth for her when the Desmonds can’t even be bothered to attend their son’s orientation day.

#spy x family #loid forger #yor forger #anya forger #donovan desmond #melinda desmond #damien desmond #the forgers #FORGER SUPREMACY #EAT SHIT THIS IS WHAT A REAL FAMILY LOOKS LIKE #AN OVERWORKED SPY #A CLUELESS ASSASSIN #AND THEIR GOBLIN TELEPATH DAUGHTER #WITH THEIR PROPHETIC DOG #INFORMANT UNCLE #SECRET POLICE UNCLE #OBSESSED SPY AUNT #IRON WOMAN AUNT #THIS IS THE BEST FAMILY #FUCK YOU #bond forger #not fuck you bond #but i forgot to place him there #my fault #lmao

[grapejuicestyless]

Could You Imagine That?

JJ Maybank x fem!reader

Summery: You failed. The gold, the cross, the fame, the fortune. But really, who cared? Not when you had the best gift of all. Inspired by the song: Forever by Noah Kahan

We listen to Pope and Kiara argue about who knows how to build a fire better, throwing logs into a heap by a pile of rocks and lining stones in a circle in the sand. John B and Cleo make beds for everyone to sleep on and Sarah works on some sort of spear for us. Yet, JJ and I haven’t even given a second thought of how long we just might be here for.

Maybe a few more hours, a couple days or years. In the end, did it really matter? We’d been just fine so far and we’d swear the feeling of freedom was worth it no matter how starved we became or how cold the nights were. We’d screamed about Poguelandia hundreds or times already, calling out the name of this great island and hoisting the flag we’d painted with rocks and the mud packed beneath them. Our hands pruning from the salt water and our shorts left on the edge of the shore line while we ran around in our underwear, splashing around like little kids and laughing like old friends should.

“We’re broke!” We laughed, finding the fact that we failed more funny than anything. Because had we really failed if we got a greater gift than what being filthy rich could give us?

“But real rich in our heads!” JJ would scream back, chasing me down along the edge of the ocean. And when the waves slowed my strides he lifted me from my waist with his tanned arms, not minding how our wet bodies stuck together like glue and our clothes would surely stink like ocean for as long as we’d be here.

“Won’t be alone for the rest of our lives!” I laughed in his hold, and his grip restricted my lungs but I would take the ache that came with it over any other feeling in the world. Because even after he loosens his grip, he never really lets me go and I am reminded of how he’s always within arms reach. Ready to make me smile, make me laugh. And it’s worth more than anything money could buy.

“Can you guys help us?” Kiara calls out desperately, but even she can’t hide the smile on her face, how much she loves the idea of it just being her and the Pogues all together and safe for just a small moment in the grand timeline of adventure ahead. No parents, no threats, no blood or tears. Just the sun and sand beneath our feet. A good cooked fish roasting over the fire and beds woven with leaves under our heads.

“Come in the waters just fine!” JJ splashes, catching a glare from Pope as the salt water briefly tames the fire they just started. And when Kiara catches his line of vision, we don’t have to look back to know their broken laughter is because their stripping to join us in the sea. Ready to splash around carelessly like children do, like we do.

“Can you imagine being here, like this forever? No more window shopping or late rent!” I laugh, bearing all my teeth in my smile when Kiara wraps her arms over my shoulders and places a sloppy kiss to my cheek.

“Won’t be alone for the rest of our lives!” She repeats my words back to me, eyes shining with the glow of the sunset that casts a warm hue over her sunburnt cheeks.

“Poguelandia forever, baby!” JJ’s arms pull Kiara away from me, and like glue, I’m stuck to him with nothing more to offer than the sweetest smile and the world shining in my eyes. I feel more alive than ever and theres not an ounce of gold that could replace it.

“Oh my god!” Cleo laughs at the scene in front of her, dry wood under her arm and a soft blush in her cheek from the sun. We’re all drenched in salt or sweat but we can’t help but feel absolutely okay with it.

You could fly over head at that very moment, on the search for miserable teens in need of help and you wouldn’t even look twice. The way everyone laughed like brothers and sisters and cherished what the world gave them, you’d think we were on some vacation. Like we hadn’t washed up here by accident.

Broken bones and aching muscles worth every moment that led us to this island and this life.

Looking back at JJ, I see the stars in his eyes and the world under his feet. It’s all we’ve ever wanted. A simple life by the ocean with all the people we love. So, we might be broke, we might be hungry and by god we might smell but by god are we richer than most.

“Poguelandia forever.” JJ whispers only for my ears to hear, forehead pressing against mine and his eyes observing the crinkles by my eyes. His thumbs lift from my hips to rub against my cheeks. Then he kisses me, kisses me in a way I hadn’t felt since before death looked at us in the eyes and grief was all we knew. Like we both knew finally that it would all work out and we would be okay.

When we pull away, we share the same hazy look we had plastered on our cheeks before and his hands plant themselves firmly on my hips once again. Squeezing the skin between his fingers playfully and drowning out the world around us.

“Could you imagine that.”

#jj maybank x you #jj mayback imagine #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank #jjmaybankangst #jj maybank fluff #p4l #jj maybank x pogue!reader #poguelandia #the pogues #pogue!reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x routledge!reader

[lolasimms]

let’s say wife!abby and the reader are trying for a baby, how do you think she’d react to the reader being pregnant with twins?

౨ৎ expecting twins with abby ౨ৎ

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, allusions to sex, explicit language.

You were on your third round of IVF, and following two unsuccessful tries you were stoked to find that you were expecting a set of twins. Ahead of the journey, both you and Abby knew that because you were having children through IVF the chances of having multiples was not a rarity.

That didn’t stop Abby from expressing her fear of them however, seeing as you already had your hands full with your first two children. So you decided you’d tell her after work, when the babies were down for the night and the house was in a state of calm, rather than the usual chaos caused by your loud and attention needing four year olds.

౨ৎ

Abby stood next to you while you brushed your teeth, she combed your wet hair for you. Left soft kisses on the back of your neck when you mumbled about how tired you were, trailed behind you out of the bathroom and into the girl’s dimly lit nursery.

Both your daughters snores filling the air, with Abby attached to your back you walked to the foot of their cribs. Sighing happily when she wrapped a loving arm around your waist. Quiet as you looked in awe at your babies,

“They’re so beautiful.” Abby hummed in agreement , reaching a long arm into Lila’s crib to stroke her cheek.

“I know,” she whispered as she repeated it with Céline, “They are the most beautiful princesses.” The two of you stood in silence, bodies swaying in domestic bliss. Abby’s cheek pressed against the side of your head, kissing you a few times while she held you tight. You traced patterns on her strong forearms, wanting to never have this moment end.

“Abby?” you whispered.“Hm?” You brought a hand up to cup her cheek, “What if I told you we’re expecting more?” Abby froze. Voice barely above a whisper as she responded.

“Are you pregnant again?” You nodded your head, her body tingling immediately. She tugged you closer into her arms, peppering kisses all down your neck.

“Yes, and what if I told you we might be having two more princesses?” That’s when her face slowly dropped in worry.

“You’re fucking with me, twins again?,” Abby questioned, moving her head back into the crook of your neck, “We’re having another set of gremlins.”

“I thought they were your little princesses?” You questioned her with a giggle, causing her to lift her head once more, glaring at you as she groaned.

“They are, but they’re a fucking handful. Can barely get enough alone time with you anymore, let alone fuck you whenever I want.”

“We’ll have my parents’ help, your dads help, we can even get a nanny!” You squeeze her cheeks, the pout slowly disappearing from her face.

“I know baby, even though they’re gremlins I’m still excited.” She whispers and that makes you smile.

“My little breeding whore, can’t stop giving me babies can you?” She teases, causing you to gasp at her vulgarity.

“ABBY!” You slap her chest, causing her to give you that playful smirk of hers.

“What, you are my little breeding wh…” You place your index finger against her soft lips before she can complete her sentence.

“We’re going to have four little ears around the house so you better fix your language Anderson.”

“Yes ma’am.”

#abby anderson x reader #wife abby anderson #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson x y/n #abby anderson fic #abby anderson x you #reader x abby anderson

[sempersirens]

my love, mine all mine

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

content/warnings: 18+ mdni. no outbreak!au. hurt/comfort. infertility. hospitals. alcohol.

author's note: hello my lovelies. i am so happy to be back posting - i missed you all a great deal. please forgive that this is a bit of a self-indulgent personal one, and i just want to take the time to say that womanhood is not intrinsically linked to the ability to have a child. we are so much more than that.

You'd always hated hospitals. Hated waiting. Hated the sterility lingering in the air. Everything was so unsettlingly white. The fluorescent lighting should expose at least a speck of dust somewhere, on some forgotten surface. But somehow, it never did.

The names called forth never seemed to be yours. Joel would've been in agony if he were here. Confined to the little plastic chair, time rolling on, on, on with no end in sight. You were almost thankful he had to be on-site today, leaving you to fend off the passing of time alone.

But you'd grown tired of being strong.

Strong for yourself, strong for you both. You craved the warmth of his rough palm, desperate to intertwine your fingers in his and replace the fluorescence with the nothingness of your eyelids.

You wanted to take. Take, take, take. Take every ounce of strength he could give you. But he wasn't here, and that had to be okay because Joel was hurting too.

You'd been lucky enough to have never known grief. Never felt its empty sting in the middle of the day, in the queue for lunch or on the drive home from work. But can you grieve something your fingers never touched? Something that had only ever been a far-off thought, that had maybe never even existed inside of you.

Was it a reflection on you?

On your capability as a mother, a woman?

Had nature deemed you unworthy since birth?

Were the worms and the flies laughing at you each time you'd uttered the words when I have children one day?

After the seemingly psychological torture of waiting, the appointment was over in minutes. It's not the news we were hoping for. The doctor had said. If you and your partner need support going forward...

The brochures she had slid across the table fell to your feet as you mindlessly drove yourself home, relying solely on muscle memory to bring you to the embrace of your front door.

There were no tears left. Everything inside of you was empty; barren. You threw your keys into the dish and softly closed the door behind you. The stillness of the house was suffocating.

Your shoulders dropped and muscles relaxed at the sight of the photograph of you, Sarah, and Ellie hanging on the wall opposite the front door. Sarah had lovingly adorned the picture with the words Joel's girls glued on in cut-out letters from your old Vogue magazines.

You loved Sarah and Ellie as your own; it would've killed you should Joel think otherwise. They were as much your baby girls as they were his, despite having not been babies for the better part of five years.

But you saw the depravity in Joel's eyes each time he edged further inside of you. The need, the want, for a creation of your own. And there was something almost feral inside of you, too. A part of you that only Joel had managed to tease out and bring into the ugly light of day. You wanted to watch yourself swell and grow with the proof of his love. You craved the shrill of a new beginning illuminated under fluorescent lights that you would gratefully embrace if it meant you could fall in love at first sight with a life you had created with Joel.

Even though Joel could hardly bend down to tie his shoes without hissing through his teeth these days, you knew none of that would matter if it was a product of your adoration for one another he was one day scooping up in his arms.

Although the two of you had been trying your hand at a sober October, you haphazardly fished around the kitchen drawer for a corkscrew, plunging it into a cheap bottle of red.

As you took your first sip, the sound of a key turning in the door made your stomach flip.

"Sweetheart?"

"In here." You called, tapping your nails on the body of the glass.

He filled the doorframe effortlessly. After all this time, he still managed to give you butterflies, leaving you squirming against the counter like you hadn't been victim of those brown eyes for almost a decade.

"Take it we're not celebrating?" He said, nodding toward the glass in your hand.

"Define celebrating. At least I won't need a fucking IUD anymore." You tipped your glass in the air and took a gulp. "An inhospitable environment."

"What's that?" His eyebrows furrowed together as he made his way closer to you.

"That's what the leaflet the doctor gave me says. I've got all the right pieces, my body just won't fucking do the one thing it's meant to do."

"Don't say that, sweetheart. You know it ain't like that..."

"Well, what is it like, Joel? What's left of me to love? How can you look at me and be satisfied that I'm the one you love? Everything about me is so fucking difficult. I want to be perfect for you. I want to give you everything you deserve, and it kills me that I can't. Because you've given me more than I deserve."

And then all at once, the tears came. He caught you in his arms before you buckled under the weight of your pain, holding you upright as you soaked his work t-shirt with your sobs. He smelt of asphalt and fresh October air.

"That what you really think?" He asked, murmuring into your hair while his fingers traced circles on your back. "Think you're difficult to love? Loving you has been the easiest damn decision I ever made."

"Then why weren't you there today? I needed you."

Smoothing down your hair, he pulled himself back so that you were facing one another. His eyes were red and glassy.

"I'm a coward, sweetheart." You scrunched your face in response, watching as a sad smile spread across his face. "I ain't as strong as you are."

"What's that supposed to mean?" You couldn't help the bite in your tone.

"Was scared to hear the truth. Would've felt so final comin' from the doctor."

Blood rushed to your head.

"So what, because my womb's the issue you let me go alone? Is this my penance or something?" You scoffed, pushing him away from you.

Joel called your name as you stormed up the stairs, wiping away your tears with your sleeve.

"You have children, Joel. There will be biological remnants of you living on in this world after you're worm food. I love those girls, and in every possible way, they are mine as much as they are yours. But I'm never going to have what you do; the privilege of looking into someone's eyes and seeing everyone who came before me. So don't give me that self-pitying bullshit disguised as admiration for my bravery." You sniffed, wanting to sound stronger but crumbling with each word.

Turning to lock yourself in the bathroom, his large hand wrapped around your arm. An old man may he be, Joel always managed to chase you down in moments you wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

Any attempt to shrug him off was pointless, and the warmth of his skin that you had craved all day radiating through your sleeve could've melted you there and then. You knew you were both scared and showing it in stupid, different ways, but you were adamant on holding your own for just a while longer.

"We're gonna get through this, baby. I ain't got the answers right now, and you know I sure as hell don't know what to say at the best of times. All I know is that I love you, and I'm so sorry for letting my fear get the better of me."

Your head found refuge in the crook of his shoulder once more, and you let the warmth of his body engulf you.

Truly, there was nothing he could say. You weren't even sure what you needed him to say.

That night, you could feel the fear dancing with grief between your bodies as you held one another in the dark. Joel may have been a father before, but neither of you had experienced this. And you knew it would be okay.

As long as you could feel his arm draped across your chest in the darkness of the night, you knew it would be okay.

#my fic #the last of us #joel miller x f!reader #joel tlou #joel miller x reader #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal #joel miller x female reader #pedro pascal characters #the last of us fanfiction #dee writes #tlou hbo #tlou #the last of us hbo #breakfastatjoels

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

About representation of child abuse in ML

I’m sorry if this isn’t the proper way to send it I chose it because I can actually divide paragraphs here. I am also assuming none of the abuse submissions are reblogged because of the subject.  I was neglected as a child(parents often forgot to feed me, didn’t care about my hygiene and I couldn’t go to the doctor when I should have) and emotionally abused after coming out as trans as a young teen(constantly being pressured to stop being trans, treating me as stupid and melodramatic for being trans at all, showing open disgust if I did something “too manly” etc.). I was a bully for two years in middle school before realizing the weight of what I was doing. I had to put in a lot of effort to improve, especially since guilt was feeding into already-existing self-hatred. When I first saw Miraculous Ladybug on TV I didn’t expect child abuse to come up at all since it’s a hard topic even for adults and Miraculous didn’t seem like the show to tackle a complicated topic. Looking back they shouldn’t have tried because they end up giving incredibly bad messages. As you point out Chloe is treated as irredeemable and sent off with her abusive parent as punishment while Andre is never treated as the neglectful parent he is. While children can be abusive to their parents Andre is the mayor of Paris while Chloe is a kid, he holds a lot of power here that he refuses to use at all. He also doesn’t try to get Chloe psychological help which would be the correct course of action seeing her mother despite the fact it wouldn’t even make a dent in his pocket. It would be better to either have Chloe’s redemption fail while highlighting how her parents affect her behaviour but don’t justify it or have a straightforward redemption arc, maybe one where she doesn’t get forgiven but still improves to show kids there’s a way out. “I will always be like this because of abuse” is an easy thought to fall into and ML accidentally ends up teaching it to kids, Jesus. The other thing that really bugs me is the treatment Gabriel gets, it seems to me that the show tries to use his love for his wife and son as a redeeming quality but I am not sure on how good an idea that is. It’s better than if he were to hate Adrien but loving Adrien doesn’t excuse any of the things he does. In my experience most abusive parents do love their children, they really think they are doing the best for their kids. The kicker comes in when they end up harming their children in some way but refuse to acknowledge it. If your parents always end up doing more harm than good and refuse to stop, then love alone can’t save it. I don’t think that point was there as Gabriel’s love was portrayed as a good thing because this show doesn’t do nuance. Also the plot Gabriel abusing Adrien should mainly be about how Adrien feels. Of course it will affect other characters but Adrien is the one getting abused by Gabriel. Gabriel is also an incredibly controlling parent who takes away Adrien’s agency and the show never really addresses that. Adrien is a bystander in a story-arc about him getting abused. He never learns that Gabriel is Hawk Moth(writers seem to think we forgot Chat Blanc and even then that episode was more about “Ooo hero gets akumatized”), we never learn his thoughts about the whole situation and Gabriel completely gets his way in the end, leading to a happy ending. Adrien’s contribution to the finale is giving up the agency he had left. This really left a sour taste in my mouth. If you’re not going to deal with how abuse affects Adrien, why write it in at all?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First of all, I’d like to thank you for being able to step forward and talk about your history with your parents. I’m very sorry that you had to go through that.

Second of all, you make a good point with how much the show empasizes Gabriel’s love for his family supposedly justifying his terrible actions, with or without the mask. It doesn’t help that, like you said, he doesn’t even get to confront Gabriel about their relationship himself, and ends the season believing all the delusions Gabriel had about him being a good father. 

Hell, even the movie does a better job at pointing out how much Gabriel has hurt his son over the show itself, and I’m pretty sure that’s why so many people prefer that version of Gabriel over this one. 

#thing delivered to my ask box because tumblr won't let me say the s-word #immaturity of thomas astruc #iota #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug salt #child abuse in miraculous ladybug

[mypoisonedvine]

hey jd, how do we feel about aemond finding out that aegon put his hands on you? granted, you’re just a servant girl and it’s not the first time he’s harassed the help, but what would happen? huh? 👀 -@pluvialpoet

word count: 2.2k

warnings: implied/vaguely described smut, implied SA of some kind, hurt/comfort, brief suicidal ideation, heavy angst, friends to lovers, way too much wholesomeness, not exactly breeding kink but mentions of pregnancy/babies

"I'll fucking kill him," Aemond decided. "I finally will, I'll do it."

"No, you won't," you sighed as you rested your hands on his shoulders. "That wouldn't do anyone any good."

"It would do me some fucking good," he insisted, nostrils flaring and uncovered eye wide with fire, "knowing that no man who has touched you lives."

"He did it to anger you, Aemond," you explained flatly, holding on tighter to him and trying not to notice the way it made your broken heart race. "Don't give in to him— you'd only be giving him what he wants." Just as I did... but I had no choice.

He looked away quickly, so you couldn't see his eye at all, and for a second you thought he might be getting choked up. "So it is my fault, then," he realised.

"No!" you yelped. "No, I didn't mean—"

"He knows that I care for you," Aemond whispered shakily. "Better than I do, he knows, and he wants to use you to hurt me. It's why I never..."

He swallowed, turning away from you, and you reached up to his shoulder. "I thought you would tell me anything, Aemond. Tell me."

It was a promise you'd made well over a decade ago, when you were just children. That was when it all started: this bizarre, impossible friendship. Back then, it didn't seem so strange to you that a servant girl and the prince could be friends, but the longer it went on, the more you both became aware of how forbidden it all really was. It never stopped you, though. Yes, it made you more cautious— only meeting in dark, quiet places, or secluded corners of the gardens— but it never made you any less close. He shared with you the fears, the dreams, the prayers he could not tell his own family; and you, just the same, though you had no family left after your mother succumbed to illness. Even the other servants didn't approve of your friendship with the prince, so you had to hide it from them at well— if they suspected he favoured you in any way, they would exploit you at best, or take some kind of revenge at worst. Still, he snuck into the kitchens when you were cooking to steal bites of fruit and cheese while he talked to you; still, you scrubbed the floors by his chambers in the morning just in case he wanted to come out and sit down nearby, leaning against the wall and giving you advice on the latest dilemma of your life (of which you had several, often one after the other if not overlapping).

That promise to tell each other anything, and everything, you made it in a tree in the gardens. He loved to climb as a boy, and you couldn't keep up but he always held your hand when you were afraid to fall. That was your tree, and it was where you found him, crying, after he'd seen the scar over his eye for the first time. He'd kept a brave face about it all— about the bullying, about his fear he'd never have a dragon of his own, about how angry and terrified he was about what had happened to his face— from the beginning. He didn't even let his mother in on the truth of his feelings, telling her not to be upset about his eye because he wasn't, either. But the lie of indifference that he'd so carefully constructed fell apart in a moment when the healers showed him the barely-healed scar. He climbed your tree alone, to the highest branch, and sobbed— which, by the way, was excruciating with his wound— as he wondered if he should pitch himself from his height and hope it was enough to end everything.

But when he looked down at the ground again, you were standing in the middle of the green grass, staring up at him. "I'm cross with you!" you informed him plainly, balling up your little fists and shouting.

He sniffled and wiped his eye quickly, covering the other with the patch the healers had given him— he didn't want you to see him like this, he didn't want anyone to see him like this. "With me?" he repeated with a shaky voice. "What... what did I do?"

"You climbed our tree by yourself!"

He laughed a little, even through the tears. "I found this tree first," he reminded you proudly, "I showed it to you! I said, look at this tree I found."

"Yes, but it's our tree now," you explained, "and you shouldn't be in it by yourself. I can't get up there without your help!"

Rolling his eye to feign irritation with your ineptitude, he navigated himself down a bit until he could reach out for your hand and help pull you up. When you were sitting together among the branches, you eventually coaxed the truth out of him, about everything he'd been afraid to admit to anyone. He seemed to think he would be fearless if he simply told no one what he was really afraid of; but that hadn't worked, had it? The boys still taunted him for having no dragon, and he still lost his eye. The only thing that had changed was that he had to go it all alone. Until now.

"You have to promise not to hide anything from me again," you decided. "We have to tell each other everything. Even the things we're scared to tell anybody... that's the stuff that matters most, anyway."

"Okay," he agreed. "How are we going to swear on it?"

You tilted your head in confusion.

"We have to swear on something," he decided, "or it's just something we're saying."

"I'll swear on my life," you decided. "I'll die before I ever hide something from you, or tell you a lie."

He seemed hesitant. "Can I hide one thing from you, at least?"

"No!"

He frowned. "At least let me wait to show you."

He reached up to the patch shakily, and you realised what it was he wanted to hide. "Okay... that can wait, until it's healed better. But you need to swear on your life!"

"All right! I will!" he groaned, frustrated by your insistence. "I swear, on my life, I'll tell you everything from now on. And never lie to you."

"Or you'll die," you added, smiling with a grin that was missing a tooth or two that had fallen out recently.

"Or I'll die," he agreed. For the first time since he saw that scar, he didn't want to die.

But even then, you couldn't have known how much more complicated things would become. Now you were grown— faster than you should've been— and Aegon, jealous of the affection you shared, had tried to spoil it all. It was the first time since you made that promise that you really considered hiding something from Aemond, being both ashamed of what had occurred and terrified of how your best friend would react.

"Please, tell me," you begged him as your hand held tighter onto his shoulder.

He almost scared you with how fast he turned around, how he clutched your arms and yet couldn't look you in the face. "I never told anyone," he whispered harshly, "how I felt about you. I never wanted to break our promise— it was just to keep you safe, I need you to be safe, do you understand?"

Though you had to bite your lip to keep it from quivering, you nodded.

"But if he knows..."

Your eyes welled with tears, trying not to see Aegon's face in your mind, the horrible way he'd looked at you.

"I should tell you," Aemond decided. "I should tell you that I've fallen in love with you."

Before you could properly react to that, his hands clutched your face and wiped the tear that had begun to run down your cheek.

"He hates me for it," Aemond continued. "He hates that I'm in love with a servant girl and he can't even love his own wife. He hates us because he'll never know what we share. And he must have thought that if he forced himself on you, that he would understand, that he could know what kind of love we have. But he can't imagine that it's your mind I love, not your body. He can't imagine the beauty of your heart."

Crying harder, you reached up to hold onto his wrists. "Aemond..." you whispered.

"If you don't love me, don't tell me yet," he pleaded. "You can break our promise, just this once. Let me imagine for a night that I haven't ruined everything."

You pulled your hands away and plunged forward, slamming your lips onto his, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He widened his eyes for a second before kissing you back, delicately holding your waist to keep you close. It was tender and sweet, even as you struggled to stop crying from the overwhelming emotion of the moment.

When you broke away, he pressed his forehead to yours, and you both shut your eyes. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you," he added, and you smiled.

"Weren't you afraid to die?" you joked.

"It felt like dying," he replied, opening his eyes again and examining you. "Having you so close, but not in the way I wanted... being able to keep you near but never hold you... it was worse than death, at times. I never wanted anyone to touch you but me."

Sighing shakily, you could hear your heartbeat in your ears louder than your own voice when you spoke. "Then touch me," you breathed. "I want you to."

His grip tightened on your waist, thumb petting your back, and you looked up at him expectantly. "My brother..." he trailed off. "I don't want to be like him. I don't want it to... be like that."

"It won't," you promised, "you're nothing like him. I want you to touch me, Aemond, please— I want to forget. Make me forget any touch but yours."

Pulling your body into his, guiding your head to tilt back, he kissed you again— deeper, hungrier, still slow but with this growing sense of desperation between the both of you.

He took you to the garden that night, pressed you up against your tree, and claimed you in the way you'd dreamed he would for years. He did more than make you forget Aegon, he made you forget everything that wasn't this moment; he held onto you so tightly and promised to never let you go, told you how beautiful you'd become, admitted how many years he'd spent longing for you but hiding his true feelings. You had so many things you wanted to say in return, but you were entirely lost for words the whole night— all you could do was cling to him and whine his name and run your fingers through his silky silver hair.

You spent the whole night in his arms; even when the sun was beginning to rise over the garden, he brought you to his chambers and took you once again there. Needless to say, he was exhausted after that, and passed out beside you on the mattress when he finally decided he couldn't go again. You were tired, too, but you couldn't sleep— you were so full of joy and excitement that you stayed awake and laid beside him, petting his hair and scratching his head and back as he slept. You didn't mean to wake him when you kissed his arm, but he turned and looked at you with a small smile. "Good morning," he mumbled in a deep, scratchy voice.

"It's well into the afternoon," you reminded him with a giggle. "You've slept all day."

He gave you a mischievous smirk as he pulled you closer, scooping you up into his arms and pressing your back to his chest. "Well, when you make love all night, that's the consequence, it seems," he explained.

His hand that held your chest moved down to your stomach, just under your belly button, and held you there as he leaned in closer to kiss your ear softly.

"There could be other consequences," he noticed.

You swallowed nervously. "Yes," you agreed, "but I could drink—"

"No," he interrupted, though he softened a second later. "I wish you wouldn't, at least not every time... I want it to take."

Your heart swelled. "But Aemond, you're a prince," you blurted out, looking over your shoulder at him, "and I'm only—"

"And you're my beloved," he whispered back, caressing your cheek with his hand and smiling at you. "And our child would be beautiful."

You smiled shyly, turning your body completely so you could hide your face in his neck. "Our child would be a bastard," you warned him.

"Our child would be a prince," he corrected, "our child would be made in love. Would you like that?"

You nodded against him, and he smiled as he kissed the top of your head. Finally, the need to sleep caught up with you after being up for so long; you ached inside and out, and with your head on his chest your eyes started to get heavier. You slept like you never had before, not because of the exhaustion— but because you'd never felt so safe.

#aemond targaryen smut #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen fic

[the-daydreaming-show]

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞 — 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: A brief return to what happened on the day of Jason Todd's death.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫(𝐬): Bruce Wayne X ScarletWitch!Reader; Clark Kent x ScarletWitch!Reader (platonic); Jason Todd x Batmom!ScarletWitch!Reader.

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: This is a lot of anguish and does not contribute at all to the plot of the main story, but I love how it ends up, and I didn't put it in All For Us for reasons.

So, I hope you enjoy the suffering.

Beta Reader by @igotmessymind (Our savior and goddess, whom we must appreciate so… APPRECIATE HER!!)

𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐔𝐬 / Next Part.

Bruce always prided himself in the fact that you had always said that his mind was very well protected for somebody who was just a human man.

In the first years, when the both of you pretended to hate each other, that was the only thing that gave him some sense of security while being around you.

Of course, if you actually wanted to read his mind and explore his subcontinents that would have stopped you — but something was something, and he used to cling to that thought at that time.

Now it was just a curious fact. 

Dick has learned to protect his mind from magic under your teaching, and he liked to say that he was better at it than Bruce, just to joke around.

In fact, that becomes a part of the training that your husband gives your children. An immovable condition for going out with him to patrol.

Jason has received that training too, but you have confessed to Bruce that your boy had had the same natural protection to his mind before he got to you.

These points are important for two reasons.

One. 

Shortly after his fifteenth birthday, Bruce decided that Jason was beginning to be too neglected and angry for his own safety. That and the hormones make it inevitable that your husband took that decision, with Jason obviously in discord — and, in his rage for the decision, your boy ends up wandering all alone to the city one-day. He found himself in his old house and a box of memories that revealed that, in fact, Catherine Todd was not his biological mother.

It was the natural protection of his mind that allowed Jason to hide from you his guilt. 

He feels bad for lying to you and going after a stranger that just gave him life.

You have taken care of him, and you are his mom. But he needed to know. 

So, without you or Bruce's knowledge, he stole the Robin suit and went to find his mother once and for all.

Two.

When Bruce found the note that Jason had left explaining where he was going. His natural protection makes sure that his emotions will leak out of his head and to you.

He didn't tell you right away how Jason was looking when he left.

Bruce told you that he went behind the Joker on his own.

He should have told you the truth right away. But he knew how much you loved Jason and how heartbreaking it would be for you knew that he was looking for his mother, as if you were not enough.

When he told you the truth was when the Joker in fact was there. But, now you don't care about Jason looking for his mother, you care for his safety.

It was night when Bruce got home. 

Alfred. 

Oh, sweet and kind Alfred. 

He was the one who told you that he had arrived. And you ignore how he looked at you with tears in his eyes and pain when you immediately whispered the name of your son before leaving him alone in the room, almost running to get to the bat-cave. 

Where you thought that you would find your husband and son waiting for you.

But Bruce stopped you. He appeared without his cape or mask, but with the Batman suit still on. 

That was the first signal of something wrong. 

Bruce never went up to the mansion in this Batman gear. Never. Not before you marry and not after. At the start for security, and now to separate his lives.

“Bruce” you greet him smiling and hug him relieved because he was safe, ignoring the silent hassle in your heart “In so glad you two are safe” you wish as you hide your face in his chest. But he didn't return the gesture, he just watched the top of your head, his arms like dead weight at every side of him. You pulled out when you felt how tense he was, and smiled at him understanding, like you can not grasp the idea of him not being able to bring Jason home, and not thinking much of his acting was for the stress of your son running through the world without supervision for several days. “¿Where's Jason?” you asked quietly, calm as you can't be. Your baby was for sure in the cave, making a fit after Bruce scolded him all the way back to the continent. Yes, that was it.

“Love” Bruce started, the tone in his voice was not the one he used with you. Your Bruce was kind and loving while talking with you, but he sounded empty. “I-” he cuts himself when you move with the intention of passing him, and walks to the cave. “You can't go there” he says as he holds you in front of him with firm hands. You look at him, confused. He had never done something like that.

“¿Why?” you ask, “¿What happened?” your mind never went there. 

The thing is, a parent never actually thinks of the worst situation for their children when something actually happens. You spend your whole life worrying about them, but when something happens, it is like your brain is taken by surprise. Or at least that's what happened to you. 

When Bruce told you that you can't go to the cave your mind stopped for a second. A million reasons passed through your mind, but the truth was not one of them. You didn't visualize your baby Jay, dead in a metal table cover by a sheet. And you didn't sit, either.

“I will talk to him, I'm sure his anger is gonna pass soon enough” you said, trying again to pass him on.

“Is not that” Bruce says, his voice as dead as before. This time you tried to take him away from him, which caused him to trade to hold your wrists for you to look at him, but you didn't. You were looking to the hall behind him, the one that while taking you to the secret door to the bat-cave and to Jason. He was physically stronger than you, but you didn't stop, and you will find the mark of his fingerprints in your skin the next day. “He is not mad” he says, his voice breaking out as he saw you fight him.

“Bruce, let me go” you said while fighting still, outraged by his triad of getting away from you boy. “Bruce, stop” your voice crack at the despair.

“Love” he says, as you tried to kick him in desperation, and he took advantage of it. Bruce turns you around facing the other side of the hall, holding your hands over your chest and hugging you in your place. Didn't stop you from trying desperately to get away from him.

He needed to let you go, so you could see Jason. You have to see him. 

“He's gone” Bruce finally whispers to you to hear, with his eyes full of tears, but you didn’t see it, you just keep struggling.

“¿What?. Bruce, what – JASON!!” you couldn't process it. So you call for him. “Bruce, stop. ¡¡Jason!!” you call while mange to take one of your wrists out of his hold and turn around to watch the end of the hall. Empty. No son of yours was there. Jason wasn't listening to you. “Bruce, let me go” you beg, almost trying to climb over him, but Bruce held you again.

“He's gone, the Joker-” Bruce was thankful and heartbroken when you didn't let him finish the explanation. Thankful because he didn't know how to tell this to you. 

¿How will he explain that your son was dead because of him?

¿How does he say that Jason was not coming back because his choice of leaving him and Sheila alone, all open to danger, and that It cost them both their life?. 

And heartbroken, because your mind finally fell into the right conclusion of what was happening.

“STOP IT. LET ME GO, BRUCE” you scream, finally breaking. You start to cry and shake into awful sobs, “JASON” you called him.

Bruce had to hold you until you stopped fighting. You scratched him, begged him, screamed and kicked. But he didn't let you go, and Jason never came up from the cave that night. It Felt like hours, but Alfred told him it had been less than ten minutes before you fell into his arms just crying, all the fight out of your body. The crying didn't stop, though.

You cry for your son all night. Bruce cries with you in silence. All night you rolled in your shared bed, like a wounded animal, crying and calling for your son. Every so often, you sleep and wake up. You would ask for Jason and when he didn't show up he would cry again. You didn't do anything else.

Likewise, you don't know when Bruce left or when Clark showed up. But your friend couldn't help but watch with the same impotence as your husband. 

You understood, later, that it was Alfred who called him, to see if the word of Superman, the only other man who also knew you as Bruce did, could finally convince your husband. 

“Bruce, please” Alfred begged him. The three men stood behind the closed door of the room where you had fallen asleep again after being comforted by Clark, as best he could. Alfred didn't want to be too harsh to Bruce, how waste better that you. “You have to let her see him” the butler repeat himself  “Is the only thing to do” 

Clark looked at both of them in silence. 

He couldn't believe it either. Jason was dead. That boy so full of life and attitude, gone forever, leaving two parents totally inconsolable. He could see that nobody else with Bruce was doing what he was doing at that moment. Something that didn't happen often, but he was thankful for years of having been able to read Bruce so easily that day. When he most needs him. The man he had seen take down opponents stronger, more powerful than him, and even some otherworldly, all with no power of his own other than his stubbornness. Now he was lying against one of the walls of the mansion hall, with red eyes and leaning forward. As if it was difficult for him to breathe. Unable to stand upright under the weight of his child's life, the one he had and the one he would never live now.

He understood. 

So, Clark spoke before Alfred could say more.

“I'll take her.” he said, and it was like everything froze in time for a second “I'll take her, you don't have to do it Bruce. She will not resent you for not doing it, but she will never believe it if she doesn't see him” he made sure to not make any sudden movement to raise his voice too much. Bruce didn't look at him. He stood there in silence for just a minute. Then he nodded his head.

You wake up with the movement. It was Clark. He passed his arms under your knees and around your back, picking you up from the bed. He didn't trust that you would be able to walk all the way to the elevator on your feet. 

“¿Where are we going?” you ask, your voice scratchy from so much shouting and crying.

“To see Jason” he responded gently, as he stood at his full height with you in his arms, you felt like a broken doll. You were a dead weight that wasn't really a weight, but you felt like dead in his arms. Selfishly, Clark thought that he prayed to the universe never to find himself in that situation, and immediately felt bad, so he settled closer to him.

“Really?” you asked, out of breath. Your voice trembled, filled with a mixture of hope and fear. A part of you still didn't believe it, he saw it crystal clear, and he knew he never fully would. There was no going back, he would do this. For you, who was like his sister. And for Bruce, who was his best friend and partner.

“Yes, really” he confirmed. 

You let your head fall over his chest as you two leave the room. Your body felt too heavy and your conscience too light. You didn't notice when they went out into the hallway or got into the elevator. 

The sound it made when it reached the cave floor was what brought you back. Your first instinct was to grab onto Clark, wanting to start asking him back. You have changed your mind. You wanted to stay upstairs, where there was still a chance your son would come back. But you wanted to see your baby and if you came back you would never see him again. You would wait forever for Jason, and you would never leave that place. You knew it.

Not only that, but you couldn't do that to Bruce. Neither to Alfred. Or to your sweet Dick.

Clark takes you up the stairs to the platform at the edge of the cave, where there was a metal table where Bruce used to carry any artifact or mysterious substance, where he usually stayed until he finished identifying or disarming them. He put you down slowly. Resting your legs on the ground first and holding you until you felt strong enough to let go of his shirt. He looked at you, wondering if he wanted him to leave, but you didn't look at him. You could only see that table.

The sheet had no blood. Jason had stopped bleeding hours ago. Behind you, Clark felt the need to throw up or run, whichever came first. The thought of having to see that boy — his nephew, now dead on a table, horrified him, but he kept himself firm behind you. And when he saw that you didn't move, he delicately pushed your sword without lifting his hand until you took the first step on your own towards the body.

People said that the dead seem asleep. But he didn't. When you pulled out the sheet, your son seemed dead. 

Jason Todd was dead. Your son. Gone forever.

“My baby” you whispered, starting to cry, while you touched her cold face and broke by the blows “My baby” you repeated over and over again “My baby. My baby. My baby” you didn't scream, you just clung to his body until Bruce appeared again and pulled you out of him.

You whispered crying, while you touched her cold face. Clark would remember that cry for the rest of his life. Bruce would never recover if he hadn't been the one to take you to see Jason one last time.

And Alfred thus saw the start of a series of events that would end with you breaking yourself, leading everyone to a safe place where Jason had come back from the cave that night. In the end, that was what it took so that they could all end that dark chapter in everyone's life once and for all.

Or at least that's what they thought until Red Hood appeared on the scene, to which Bruce thanked again for that natural protection of the mind that both he and Jason possessed. It was keeping you safe.

𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭: @some-lovely-day @simonsbluee @yuki-chan23 @miyakana @myst3batz @otchae @d3m0n8ch1ld @marsenbie @mynameisnotlaura @andieperrie18 @totallynotme420 @igotmessymind @amarawayne @calsjack @kodzukenmaaa @mellowdiy @noah-uhhh-what @blarba-girl @dead-sane-stuff @huhuhhuhh

#all for us #jason todd x batmom #batfamily x reader #batmom #batmom!reader #batfam x reader #tim drake x batmom #dick grayson x batmom #scarletwitch!batmom!reader #scarletwitch!reader

[mauesartetc]

Is it me, or is Vivziepop bad at writing romantic relationships? It feels like she wants to write "problematic", drama-filled romance where the characters start out toxic, there are misunderstandings, betrayals etc cuz the show is supposed to be about "problematic gays", and that's perfectly valid, but she can't write chemistry. So far, it feels like Blitzo clings to Stolas because he's afraid he will end up alone and unloved, but doesn't actually care for him as a person. He often looks uncomfortable with Stolas' flirting even if he reciprocates sometimes.

I've seen couples in children's media with much better written-relationships and chemistry, like Roxanne and Megamind. It's clear they enjoy each other's company, they have mutual banter and flirting and he respects her intelligence.

I know Stolitz is supposed to be "toxic" pre-character development but at this point it still sucks that so far, it's impossible to tell what the characters like about each other other than the sex.

(I've been told that Stolas enjoys how Blitzo made him laugh when they met during the circus but that's not been developed enough as a concept to count).

Yeah here's a thought: When has he made Stolas laugh during adulthood?! Where was that moment? What do they even have in common other than liking dudes?

Oh shit. I think I get why fans of this show accuse critics of being homophobic. It's because this relationship has literally no substance other than "they're gay". (Or Stolas might be, anyway. Their specific orientations are never clarified in the show that I can recall.) Oh, you don't like this mlm relationship? You must hate ALL mlm relationships. Funny how the fans are the ones fixated on that aspect while no one I've seen criticize the show has ever cited the homoerotica as evidence that this relationship sucks. No, it sucks because there's absolutely no depth to it. There's nothing to make us root for it to work.

Sure, the characters have their own personalities as individuals, and there's potential for chemistry in how those personalities and backgrounds oppose each other, but the show never explores it. What would happen if Stolas tried to fit into Blitzo's poverty-stricken school of hard knocks, or if Blitzo tried to fit in with high society? What if they just had a conversation about what life has been like for each of them? Where are the bonding moments that show us this is more than just a transactional arrangement (or at least that it could be)? What made Stolas suddenly fall in love with Blitzo offscreen between Episodes 6 and 7, after treating him like an object the entire season? Why the fuck does he care if Blitzo comes to see him in the hospital or not? Why should we care as viewers?

Funny enough, this neat video by LocalScriptMan just came out (check out this channel, seriously), and it talks about going deeper into writing relationships than just smashing two characters with differing personalities together. Again, differing personalities can create potential for chemistry (as each character learns new perspectives from the other), but a pairing of opposites isn't chemistry in and of itself.

If Helluva Boss's writers gave us a good mlm relationship with actual substance, more power to 'em! Maybe we'll get one with Asmodeus and Fizzarolli, but... ehh. It's doubtful at this point.

#helluva boss #helluva critical #writing #anti stolitz #romantic chemistry #relationships #shipping #ask #chinesegal

[hello-nichya-here]

Azula's mommy issues how it does (and doesn't) affect her personality and theoretical redemption

Ah, Ursa and how she ties into a possible Azula redemption. I recommend you get a snack and some water, because this answer is gonna be a long one XD

Before we even get to the dynamic between these two characters and how it informed Azula's actions, let's remember THE main thing that is responsible for Azula being the way she is: Indoctrination.

Her nation had been waging war against the rest of the world for 100 hundred years. Azula is 14. For 86 years her family had been telling everyone, including themselves, that the war was just, it was for the good of the world and of the Fire Nation, it was "sharing their glory", it was just them taking over land that was rightfully theirs because of "divine right to rule" (something Azula herself says to Lu Fang when she's taking over Ba Sing Se).

We see children cheering for a puppet version of Fire Lord Ozai in a festival, as he defeats an "evil" Earth Kingdom general. We are explicitly shown that Fire Nation schools lie about things like the Air Nomads, a pacifist culture, having an ARMY that Sozin's men attacked, framing it more as a mutual conflict between equals in which the Fire Nation won, instead of a sudden attack against an entire group of people that were just minding their business.

We see IROH write a letter about how he hopes his family can see Ba Sing Se IF THEY DON'T HAVE TO BURN IT TO THE GROUND to conquer it - and not only do Zuko and Azula both laugh, URSA is also laughing.

Azula was raised to believe her nation had every right to do all the attrocities it commited. And just like Zuko, she is still a teenager, not an adult like her dad, uncle or mom - and while they had less excuse than the Fire Siblings for not knowing any better since they were already grown, they do still have more excuse than Azulon and especially Sozin, since they were ALSO raised to believe that stuff was perfectly normal.

Even if Ursa had been a perfect mom, Azula would likely still be a villain, though maybe less bitter and insecure over feeling unworthy of love (but that would not disappear completely, since Ozai was still an abusive dad that very clearly expected perfection from his children at all times, which is way too much pressure to put on anyone, let alone on two kids. And since she was his favorite, she'd obviously try to copy him, so she wouldn't end up like Zuko, so her more cruel, ruthless side would also be very present).

HOWEVER, that does not change the fact that Ursa's flawed parenting had a deep impact on her daughter.

For starters, even the creators/showrunners and writers of the show have said Zuko is her favorite child - and a parent playing favorites is NEVER good, even if they don't downright abuse the one they don't like as much. And for a kid that is in an abusive home, seeing her brother be treated as completely worthless because he is not the favorite, it isn't that hard to understand how Azula concluded that, if her mom didn't like her as much as she liked Zuko, it's because she didn't like her AT ALL. Add in Ursa's concern over Ozai's influence over Azula and how it's shaping her personality, plus the fact that she said "What's wrong with that child?" WITH AZULA IN THE ROOM, and we have the source of her belief her mom didn't just dislike her, but also saw her as monster.

Because yeah, let's not forget Azula had TWO parents. Two parents that clearly wanted very different things from their children. Ursa was cool with all the imperialism stuff, but she was horrified at the thought of the family being at war with itself, fighting for the crown. She was a bad guy, but she had standards. Meanwhile Ozai was clearly on team "stab everyone in the back to get what you want, then rule by fear." Once her mom was out of the picture, Azula naturally felt like her dad had essentially proven his method was better, since he ended up getting everything he wanted (though Azula does question that in the finale, when she imagines Ursa of all people trying to make her see trying to use fear to force people into supporting/loving her would only further isolate her, showing some part of her DID internalize a point of view that did not align with Ozai's).

But even before Ursa was forced to disappear from her daughter's life, she was already failing to connect with her, but not solely because of Ozai. Think about it. We see lots of scenes of Ursa spending time just with Zuko, and some of her with both of her kids - but never do we get even a single scene just between her and Azula.

When Zuko immitates Azula's bad behavior (because he thought it was cool and funny) and throws bread (not a rock like the fandom insists, BREAD) at the turtleducks, Ursa is visibly shocked and distressed, but she EXPLAINS to Zuko why what he did was wrong (it hurt the baby turtleduck, and thus made the mother mad) in a VERY light-hearted way that he clearly remembers fondly. When Azula says things about Azulon being likely to die soon or Iroh being pathetic, Ursa is shocked and distressed - and either just says "Azula, we don't speak like that" or a very angry "Young lady, not another word" but without ever trying to explain to her why what she did was wrong.

Meanwhile, ZUKO actually says things like "How would you like it if Lu Ten wanted dad to die?" or explaining that Iroh gave up on conquering Ba Sing Se out of grief for his only child. Those two scenes were the CLOSEST Azula got to having someone actually try to explain things to her in a way she could understand - but obviously she's not gonna take her brother as seriously as she would an adult, and Zuko has his own stuff to deal with so he can't step up and be a replacement parent to her like Iroh was to him (and considering how young he was at the time, expecting him to do so would be unreasonable - hell, he likely didn't even notice just how badly Azula needed help until she had her breakdown).

Things get worse if we take the comics as canon (which I don't, but I know a lot of people do). On that version of the story, Ursa goes from "Making effort, but screwed up along the way" to "Neglectful/abusive piece of shit that should have her kids taken away."

Comics!Ursa's idea fo "quality time with her kids" involves talking solely to Zuko and ignoring Azula, instead of interacting with both of them. She doesn't encourage them to spend time with each other like she did in the show. When she is banished, she visits both her kids - but only wakes Zuko up. He gets a sweet farewell so he always gets to remember that, no matter what happened, his mom loved him and did not want to leave him. Azula doesn't get a single word, and is left to believe her mom didn't even bother with her.

Worse of all, Ursa CHOOSES TO FORGET HER OWN KIDS. After she had explicitly said she does not believe they are truly safe living with Ozai. After she explicitly said to Zuko "Never forget who you are." Not to mention, she writes a letter with the fake claim that Zuko is actually NOT Ozai's kid - because she knows he will read it and get mad. She risked putting her son in danger just to piss off her husband. That's what she did to the kid she LIKED. How low would she go if the kid in danger was the kid she didn't care for? Oh, wait the comics answer that too. She never bothered asking ANYTHING about what had happened to her all those years (nor to the kid with a scar on his face, mind you), showed more empathy towards her when she COULDN'T remember who she was (and even then it was just a "If I really am your mom, I'm sorry I didn't love you enough." That's it. That's all Azula gets), and she doesn't do ANYTHING about Azula running away. No asking Zuko or someone else to find her, no crying about losing her again, no indication that she is worried about her safety even though she is all alone and mentally unstable.

The comics really did Azula dirty, and I HATE Ursa in it. It reached the point of "I don't want these two to make up, I want Azula to give a whole speech about how much her mom sucks, just like Zuko did with Ozai" because that's what she deserves. Show!Ursa made mistakes, Comics!Ursa IS a mistake. The sympathy for Azula despite her bad actions grows significantly on that version of the story, because how the fuck can we speak her to not be so mad at the world after all that?

But at last, we need to make an important distinction clear here: It doesn't matter if we are talking about the comics or the show, if we like or dislike Azula, if we do or don't want her to be redeemed, the simple fact still is that she WAS screwed over her entire life, her troubled relationship with her mom had a deep and longlasting impact on her mental health, and there was no way in hell she would have EVER been an innocent little angel that is 100% against everything her evil father does. It's just impossible considering her backstory.

And there is a very clear double-standard in how people talk about the idea of a redeemed Azula VS the reality of a redeemed Zuko. Both start with the premise of "This bad guy has understandable, sympathetic reasons to do bad things, since they were indoctrinated from birth and had a terrible family life", both include the character having to see how their actions are hurting them AND others (including those they care about, Zuko's "victim" being Iroh, while Azula's are Mai and Ty Lee. Plus, they've both hurt each other in some ways, some more deliberate than others), and both culminate with the character turning their life around, confronting those who wronged them, and finding a support system for themselves.

Yet one is treated as revolutionary despite not being the first redemption arc ever (nor the only redemption arc in the story itself), nor being perfectly written (because perfect writting doesn't exist), while the other is labelled as lazy, out of character, or "making excuses" for bad people just because they had a tough life (like Azula is an actual person). There is no thematic or moral difference between redeeming Zuko and redeeming Azula, especially in a show that says "EVERYONE has the potential for great good and great evil" and ends with Zuko telling his abuser he hopes he'll also have a change of heart someday, even if he is not sticking around to witness or actively try to make it happen.

Redeeming Azula is no different than redeeming Zuko. It's perfectly fine to want to just one of these things instead of both, but it is NOT a superior choice in anyway, and it's very hypocritical of the same fandom that criticizes the idea of a redeemed Azula because "mommy issues isn't a good enough reson" when they can't stop praising the redemption arc that has "the villain had daddy issues" as it's core premisse. Personal preference is one thing. Being a dick about it is another.

#actual human child azula #literal child soldier azula #azula meta #azula deserved better #azula redemption

[oliver-quick-ens-my-pulse]

Sign of the Times

Ominis Gaunt x Reader

Summary - Anon request for "ominis family kidnaps you and tortures u cause idk why maybe bc ur muggleborn or something"

Word Count - 2,130

Warnings - angst, violence

A/N - maybe room here for a more comforting type part 2? thoughts?

For Ominis, Hogwarts had been much more eventful than he had wished it to be. He thought it could help him escape from home, but with everything that had happened 5th year he didn't think it could possibly get worse.

The bright side was that it was also somehow the best year for him because he met you. He hadn't been looking for any kind of new relationship, but you fell right into his lap.

A lot of students avoided him altogether either because of his lineage or his blindness, but not you. You paraded in late to the sorting ceremony, knocked Sebastian on his ass although you were really just on your first year, then walked right up to him and introduced yourself.

You did everything you could to guide Sebastian the right way and when he wouldn't listen you would be there for Ominis. He would make himself sick with worry when Sebastian would lie to the both of you and go off to doomed quests.

His favorite thing was when you would nestle up with him and read muggle stories. He always got a laugh out of the more innocent fairytales for children with their fantasies of how magic worked. You were able to make him feel better and learn new things all at once.

It was year 6 when things came to fruition between the pair of you. Ominis was alone in the Undercroft again. He was sad beyond belief about the whole situation with the Sallows. He had come to realize he cared for you deeply, he was pretty sure he loved you, but you couldn't replace Sebastian. Some days it felt too much for him to bear, at least too much to do it alone.

You found him slumped against a wall, silent tears on his face. You could tell it was bad because he didn't even acknowledge that you had shown up. You sat down with your legs crisscrossed in front of him, wrapping your arms around his drawn up knees to rest your head.

For a few moments you just sat in silence together, Ominis treasured that you gave him moments like this; moments to not be alone, but to steal just a few more moments of peace before he had to face reality.

You spoke up first to take the burden off of him, "Ominis, I know no matter what I am to you, I'll never be any of them. I didn't grow up with you and have years to make innocent memories."

He traced patterns over the back of your hand as you continued, "I want to start, though. I want to put as much of these things behind us as we can. I'm happy to be your rock whenever you need, however often you need to talk about these things, but I do want to help you enjoy life again. I promise I won't ever leave you."

You were smiling at him softly with adoration, wishing nothing more than to erase all the bad things he'd endured in such a short time. He kept his eyes on you, deep in thought for several moments before slowly deciding to close the gap between the two of you, to finally cross that line.

He found your cheek with his palm and drew you close, pressing soft lips to yours, willing you to understand all the things he didn't have words for. He pulled away enough to speak, leaning his forward against yours and his voice was barely a whisper, "You really promise?"

Now, in your 7th year, nearing the end of your education, you both were looking forward to so much. Neither of you could wait to taste the freedom of making a home where nobody could find you, using magic as much or as little as you wanted, even going out into the muggle world because why not?

You met up during a free period in the court yard, enjoying the scents of Spring. He sat pressed into your side, never overly affection in public, but always being sure to touch you in some way.

"Which class are you going to miss skipping the most, Y/N?" You gave him a playful whack, shaking your head as he grinned at you.

"Thank you very much, I have been to all of my classes this year except for when I've been sick," you huffed, pretending to be angry.

"Besides, I've been keeping myself busy and surrounded to avoid any run-ins with your absolutely insane family."

Ominis felt a pit in his stomach at your words. He couldn't wait to run away with you, but for now you were just a sitting duck to their threats. He assumed other families must have told his, which he thought was ridiculous that any of them cared enough. He assumed their lives were just too boring.

His family had threatened Ominis with the idea of hurting you, torturing you as they loved to do with anyone who wasn't a pureblood. He stood his ground with them, though. He made it clear that if they dared to do anything, he would personally ensure consequences. It was one of the reasons he worked as hard as he did to be a good wizard; he had to protect you.

"I really think for now their threats are empty," he lied, "they just want me to be afraid and miserable and if they think I am that's really enough for them." He didn't want you to worry or know how much he kept an eye on you in secret.

You shuffled to grab your bag, sighing in annoyance before placing a chaste kiss on his lips, "Well, even if they aren't just promise you'll forgive me for whatever I have to do to them?"

You winked although he couldn't see it as you pushed back his hair. He grabbed your hips to pull you closer, nearly knocking you over before murmuring, "Maybe I can find a way to reward you instead?"

You playfully slapped his hands away before running off, "Ominis. I have a class that I don't attend to go to!"

He smiled in spite of himself as you left before a worried look came over his features. Every day you remained at Hogwarts felt like a day in a jail cell for Ominis.

You were on your way to Advanced Divination, guard down thinking about how cute Ominis was when he let himself open up to being silly. Then suddenly your lights were just out. Everything was dark for what seemed like seconds and then you came to at some place you didn't recognize.

You found yourself in a what seemed to be a cave. It wasn't well lit, but there were candles around. As you sat up from the cool floor, scanning the room with caution, you saw faces you didn't recognize. You didn't need to in order to understand what was going on. It was the Gaunts.

You felt quickly for your wand just to realize it was no longer on your person. You couldn't keep your mouth shut as you scanned over them; Mr. and Mrs. Gaunt at a makeshift table as if preparing to watch a show while Marvolo roused from his seat upon seeing you awake.

"So you're cowards? I'm so much lesser than you and yet I can't have my wand to prove otherwise?" You stood up tall, adrenaline pumping as you were determined to not show them weakness.

Marvolo practically snarled at you as his parents watched in amusement, "It would be a pitiful sight as much as it would be a disgrace," he spat at you as he walked closer.

You threw your hands in the air, slightly amused when all 3 of them flinched as they were aware you had this ancient magic nobody really knew about, "Well, that's fine. I know you can't kill me, there would be too many repercussions that I daresay you lot can't afford. Ominis and I will be long gone for you to never worry about again in a few months so give me your worst."

You swallowed thickly upon finishing your sentence, knowing you were stalling what was to come your way. All you could hope was that Ominis noticed you were gone quickly enough to keep your sanity.

The word crucio flew threw the air so fast that you could at least pretend you didn't hear it. The minute the sparks hit you a scream left your mouth, you fell to your knees. You could hear your heartbeat and your blood rushing through your veins, it all felt like it was boiling.

You clutched helpless at your face, your arms, any of your exposed skin, clawing at it as if tearing it of would make the pain go away. Every movement, every breath, every ounce of your existence was filled with searing agony. As you wriggled and clench your fingernails against the cave floors you just kept the shade of Ominis' eyes in your mind.

You couldn't think to form thoughts or daydreams, you couldn't commit to thinking about him and your future together, but you could remember the cloudy blue eyes that got you through the worst days of your life you'd yet to experience. And you just hoped the could get you threw this one too.

The Gaunts taunted you with words you couldn't even understand as Marvolo flung you about, every once of rage at your insults pouring into the spell.

Suddenly, things seemed a little bit quieter. Your body felt like every bone had snapped, like you had been forced to run a mile per second for hours, but you could hear your own sobs and labored breathing. You were still in the throes of pain and panic, but nothing was intensifying any longer.

You couldn't process your surroundings as Ominis lifted you carefully from the floor, murmuring your name hoping that any time would be the time you answer him back.

He had run into Garreth in the lavatory where he was immediately confused to be asked why you didn't make it; after you had bragged about your attendance all year.

Ominis rushed passed him, his wand ready to guide him wherever you were with the aid of a charmed locket he had given you. As badly as he wanted to rush to you, he barged into headmistress Weasley's office to tell her what was going. He knew where you were, what was happening, and he trusted her from your relationship to know she would spring into action when headmaster Black wouldn't.

He stormed in with a fury, knowing help would be on his tail. He disarmed his brother and flung them all to the floor. None of them had every seen violence from him, that hellfire in his eyes. They were really too curious to look away as several aurors filled the cavern, manhandling magic restraints onto them.

Ominis felt ready to pass out himself as he heard your continued whimpers and understood much too well what you were going through. He was scared out of his mind that you wouldn't come back to him.

Things went dark again for you, but it wasn't just black this time. You could hear Ominis' soothing voice reading to you. You could see him running his fingers over the braille pages, eyes closed as he read a story the two of you often joked about.

As your eyelids fluttered, you reached up a hand to rub them and found that Ominis really was there. He heard your movement and was immediately kneeling by your side on the sofa.

Your hand drooped across your face, you regretted the movement the second you had made it, "Son of a -"

"I know," he interrupted. He rested a hand carefully over yours, "I unfortunately do know."

He sounded so sad. As memories of everything that had happened flooded you all at once you let out a painful breath, "Ominis. It's not your fault."

You lulled your head to look at him, wishing you could move enough to embrace him. "I was only able to take it by having you to live for."

"It only happened to you because you have me." His voice was flat and dejected.

You knew it wasn't the time to be sad or cry or talk about the fear. It wouldn't help anyways since it was all done with except for the lingering pain.

You mustered every bit of strength you had left to bring a hand to his cheek, forcing his gaze towards you.

"You should have seen their faces when I called them poor." Ominis groaned at you and buried his face in your palm, but he knew you were beaming at him with pride.

#ominis gaunt #ominis gaunt x reader #ominis #ominis x reader #ominis x mc #ominis gaunt x mc #ominis x you #ominis gaunt x you #ominis x oc #hogwarts legacy #mc is a menace with no self preservation

[jennapancake]

Love Made Me Crazy

Luke Castellan x Aphrodite!Reader

Part 1 of 2

Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, Reader is referred to as y/n and as female, kissing, implications of death, not proof-read.

Summary: Aphrodite children are required to break their first loves heart in order to avoid tragedy. What happens when reader breaks luke castellans heart in order to save him when he's already on the edge.

A/n: Hi this is my first time ever writing so please be nice. I'm trying my best. Thank you for reading!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The tears poured as I stared at the lake in front of me. The inability to determine if it were the sobs that raked my body or the cold night air causing me to shiver as I prayed to the goddess I knew to be my mother. I prayed for her to spare me from this "initiation" as she calls it. To spare me from having to break my best friends heart in order to save him and myself.

Luke had been my best friend since the day I set foot in camp. It was 5 years ago. Luke had arrived not long before me, but he still chose to show me around camp. The boy and I became close after that and even closer when the two of us continued to stay in the Hermes cabin as his father claimed him and my godly parent refused to be asserted with me in any way. The comfort shared between us both was hardly unnoticed but it drew our bond close.

And yet now, I have to break this bond we share due to some horrible rule my mother has set for her children. The same rule she set for me, the child she ignored for almost a year after I set foot in this camp.

"Please mom just this once favor me and my choices and allow me to avoid breaking both his heart and mine. Allow me to stay with him without the consequences please." I'd been sobbing prayers like this since the sun set. I knew it was useless. I knew I wouldn't get a response and even if I did it would never be in my favor.

"y/n?" I don't know how long it had been since I strayed from my siblings at dinner to sit here but I knew it had been hours as Drew came up behind me. "Are you okay?" The girl asked, a gentle hand on my shoulder as she sat next to me.

"I'm okay" I nodded, quickly wiping the tears that stained my cheeks. "Just admiring the lake and some alone time ya know?" I let out a fake laugh that sounded almost like a sob as I turned to look at the girl.

"It's about the rule, isn't it?" She asked, a sympathetic look clouding her beautiful features. I nodded in response to which she pulled me close. "It'll be okay. I know you love him but it's better than meeting a horrific end." She says and I know she's right and I know I have to do it soon. "Silena and I will be there to help you through it too. We won't let you go through this alone."

"I know. Its just hard knowing we have to end just because of some stupid rule my mother made. Just another reason why for our parents to dictate our lives." I sniffled and she nodded, combing her fingers through my hair to calm me.

"I understand, love. Its just another reason why our parents won't be winning any parent of the Year awards. However I'd rather you get both your hearts broke than lose you to a Shakespearean level tragic ending." She says, the eye roll evident in her tone as she says the last few words.

I know she's been through this before with other siblings. But even if love doesn't kill me how does she know the next quest won't.

"I just want you to be happy and alive. You'll find other men who will love you, you're a daughter of Aphrodite after all."

But I don't want anyone else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning....

I had made up my mind or at least I thought I had stopped by training to see Luke before breakfast and his counselor duties.

"Luke!" I called a smile on my face. I had decided to risk it all. I was in love and nothing could break us apart, not after three years pining after each other and almost a full year together. I was not letting us go.

Luke smiled at me, telling his class to take a break as he ran over to me. Except right before he got to me an Apollo kid was disarmed and the blade of his sword was mere inches from Luke's head, landing right in front of my feet.

The smile draining from my face as I wondered if this was a coincidence. I know I was told there was little time left before an ending began to appear but was it really starting now. Were these the warning signs?

I pushed those thoughts away as the boy came closer after scolding the kids. "Hey, are you okay?" He asked, grabbing both my cheeks gently and giving me a worried look as he checked me for any injuries.

"I'm fine," I gave him a reassuring smile "I should be the one asking if you're okay. That sword almost took your head off." I gestured to the sword with my head as the boy chuckled.

"Yeah, Apollo kids aren't the best with swords." He joked but shook his head, "but I'm all good. Especially now that I get to see you." He smirked before pulling me into a kiss.

That was only the first straw in one big hay barrel that was today. Throughout the day, I almost drowned, Luke almost got run over by a group of centaurs, I almost got shot by archers since no one told me they moved the archery field, and Luke almost fell into the rack of spears.

And all of this happened before lunch.

"Silena you don't understand. I thought it'd be okay if we stayed together but everything is falling apart today. Luke and I have been in so many dangerous positions today it's insane." I practically yelled as the girl brushed my hair.

"Are you sure you're not overthinking everything? It was a rough night for you. Maybe you're just seeing the everyday dangers more today?" Silena was always the voice of reason but I knew it was just excuses to comfort me.

Silena never wanted Luke and me to break up. As she put it we were her best accomplishment and the cutest couple at camp, all thanks to her help for finally getting us together.

"Sil, you and I both know it's starting. I can't lose him cause of my own selfishness. I'm gonna have to break up with him." I say, tears filling my eyes at the thought.

"or you could tell him the truth and let him decide your fate?" She shrugs and I shake my head.

"I know what he'll choose and I can't do that to him. I can't let him decide to be with me when it'll result in the end for both of us."

My mind was made up.

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Luke and I were sat on the docks, the cool breeze of the night blowing between us as we stared at the star in silence, until Luke spoke up and the end began.

"So what did you want to talk about that was so important?" He asked, a small smile on his face as he glanced at me, the hand he was holding between us, squeezed mine tightly until I forced myself to pull it from his hold.

"oh uh, Luke I don't know how to say this.." I sighed as I played with my camp necklace to comfort myself as I spoke to the boy in front of me.

"Hey it's okay. " The boy reached out the touch my arm "Whatever it is we'll get through it together." He smiled gently which only caused my heart to ache more.

I shook my head and stood up quickly in order to look away from the boy and take my chance to pace on the dock as I do the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

And that's saying a lot seeing as a fought two minotaurs at once.

"Luke we need to break up." I said as quickly as possible, knowing if I didn't blurt it out the words would never come.

"woah what?" The boy quickly stood to come over to me "y/n what do you mean we need to?"

"I mean we can't be together anymore, Luke." I said, tears forming in my eyes as I look up at him.

"Why? I thought we were doing good. Whatever it is we can work through it. Just talk to me. Why so suddenly are you saying this?" Luke asks, tears filling his water line and I shake my head.

"This isn't something we can get out of, Luke. This is something we have to go through in order for me to protect you. I'm sorry, Luke."

And so I ran in order to avoid any more questions, in order to avoid changing my mind, in order to protect the boy I was crazy in love with.

I would have risked my life for him if it meant getting to stay with him for all eternity but I couldn't bring myself to risk his life for a life on the run from a never ending tragedy.

If only I wasn't an Aphrodite Kid....

End of Part 1.

Next part will be Luke's POV and where more of a dark Luke esc will come in and as well as the aftermath of the moment. Again thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!

#luke castellan #percy jackon and the olympians #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x you #percy pjo #fanfic #charlie bushnell #luke castellan x aphrodite!reader #aphrodite

[actual-changeling]

Hey, about your meta on how Aziraphale emotionally manipulated Crowley in the final 15: You explained how Aziraphale didn't defend his position to Crowley after he said "I think I understand it a lot better than you do" because he knows he's in the wrong.

Sorry if you've already answered this somewhere, but can you elaborate? Theories aside, I've always interpreted Aziraphale in the final 15 as someone who genuinely thinks they're doing the right thing.

If Aziraphale knows he's in the wrong, why would he go to Heaven in the first place? What would his motivation be? And what made you think he's aware?

Thank you!

A good question!

It's a central issue when it comes to Aziraphale because a big struggle of his is that he can belief two technically incompatible things at once.

There is always his initial belief, e.g. heaven is fundamentally good and angels cannot do the wrong thing, but then he is confronted by an experience he cannot ignore that shows him the opposite, e.g. God and heaven being fine with killing Job's children for a bet with Satan.

Now, he could take those two beliefs and realize what Crowley (and most demons) probably realized at some point: heaven lied to them and is not infallible, so when reality proves to be different than what they were taught, they can make up their own mind—there are more options than what they were presented with.

However, doing so would require Aziraphale to do several things.

become self-aware enough to realize that he made wrong choices

accept that he can still make wrong choices and that being an angel gives him no moral superiority

understand that "angel" and "demon" as categories are fundamentally meaning- and useless

move away from seeing heaven as the one true authority and build his own moral compass

find an identity for himself that is completely separate from heaven, angels, and demons

learn how to have healthy relationships without replicating the dynamic he had with heaven

Crowley was forced to learn all of this in quick succession before, during, and after his fall, and he's been in a good place for millennia at this point

Aziraphale, on the other hand, was never actually confronted with a situation that would explicitly force him to change his thoughts and behaviours. He got comfortable on earth, was mostly left alone by heaven, could do what he want, and had Crowley around—who, no matter what he did, always eventually came back to him.

Aziraphale benefited from Crowley's severe abandonment trauma and fears and decided that he does not have to make himself uncomfortable because Crowley will do it for him. All of the points I have listed above would vastly improve his relationship with Crowley and with himself, but they would mean making himself uncomfortable.

It would mean having to work through feelings of shame, self-hatred and guilt, learning how to actually listen to Crowley and treat him like an equal, understanding and accepting that he has hurt not just Crowley but probably also many humans throughout the centuries (e.g. the entire situation with Elspeth and Morag).

In short, it's a never ending journey that will make you feel really bad at times but is ultimately necessary to have healthy relationships and a content life.

Aziraphale KNOWS all of this, otherwise he would be at peace being exactly like the Archangels are. He wouldn't even TRY to convince Crowley that his morals are wrong and his own correct because why try to convince someone of something you are 100% sure of?

We never see any of the other angels and demons having those morality discussions because they are at peace with who and what they are. On top of that, it's not like Aziraphale does not notice when he hurts Crowley or makes him intentionally upset—he does notice, and he does not like it.

BUT, and there is, unfortunately, a 'but', he prioritizes his personal comfort over Crowley's wants, needs, and emotions.

For example, he coerces him into giving him the Bentley and leaves him alone with Gabriel, two things that deeply distress him. When Crowley does not do what he wants, he threatens to withhold his presence/affection and punishes him with rejection, which is him abusing Crowley's trauma for his own comfort. Any moral arguments are not about Aziraphale making a realization, they're him trying to come up with EXCUSES so he can justify continuing to think/do x-thing even though reality is telling him that he's wrong; Edinburgh is a great example for that.

In the final fifteen, we basically see how far Aziraphale is willing to go to protect his own comfort. I made a rough little list of his initial belief, the reality he gets confronted with, and the conclusion he comes to/decides on:

However, Aziraphale has finally reached the one boundary Crowley will never be willing to cross, not for him, not for anyone else. He will not go back to heaven and he sure as fuck has zero desire to be an angel again. Aziraphale could pull out whatever manipulation tactics he wants (and he does) but Crowley will not change his minds and is rightfully upset that Aziraphale is asking that of him.

So where does that leave us?

Belief 1: Returning to heaven and taking that position means he will be in charge and can change heaven so it is 100% good the way it is supposed to be. It's the right thing to do as a Good Angel.

Belief 2/Reality: He knows heaven is cruel. He knows there was a revolution with thousands of angels trying to change heaven and they failed. He knows that demons are not inherently evil and that angels are not inherently good. He knows that Crowley wants to save the world, that he makes choices are are kind, that he saves people, that he cares—and he won't go back to heaven. He knows he does not want to be without Crowley.

If the Metatron had given them the time to properly, actually talk about it, I think Aziraphale would have come to the conclusion that Crowley is right about heaven and has been all along—but the Metatron was purposefully hurrying him along and so they didn't.

When Aziraphale panics like he did then, he (like many other people) stick with the belief(s) that feels safest, the one that is instinctual, the one that requires the least amount of thinking. For Aziraphale, that is do as heaven tells you, so that is what he argues for. He gets stuck in that corner and when Crowley rightfully sets boundaries, he panics even more because that hasn't happened before, Crowley always relented in the end.

So he panics more and more and more, says increasingly hurtful things and becomes more manipulative, which in turn makes Crowley more upset, and they spiral until Crowley reaches his breaking points and accepts that he is choosing heaven over him.

Again.

By the time we reach the "you don't understand what I'm offering you", Aziraphale is out of arguments. I mean, what's he going to say? No, you the demon who fell for trying to change heaven don't know better than me, the angel who never faced any punishment from heaven whatsoever?

He pushed his angelic superiority as far as it will go and resorts to what he always resorts to once he is out of arguments.

Rejection. Silent treatment. I will never talk to you again, we're not friends, it's over, you're at liberty to go, if you won't you won't, then there is nothing more to say.

The Metatron has planned the entire encounter very carefully, he intentionally does not give him time to think, urges him to talk to Crowley immediately, enters the bookshop immediately after Crowley leaves, keeps walking when Aziraphale tries to change his mind, enters the lift first with his hand above the button.

Don't allow him to think so he will do as he is told, and it works unsurprisingly well.

I hope that helped clear that up, he is definitely very. convoluted in his decision making at times.

#alex answers asks #alex talks good omens #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable wives #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorce #the final fifteen #alex's unhinged meta corner #good omens meta #good omens thoughts