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#because those are fine and useful words! they just. don't apply to me.
marzipanandminutiae · 9 months
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I miss people using non-medicalized terms for other people's passions
like. well and good to talk about "hyperfixations," "special interests [in the context of an autistic person's favorite subject]," or "infodumping" if you have ADD/ADHD or autism, or are talking about someone who is, but...that's not everyone who feels strongly about something, obsesses, or loves talking about their interests. those words mean specific things, associated with specific forms of neurodivergence
don't assume everyone is comfortable with that language
"rambling" is a word; so is "ranting." "obsession" is a word. "passion" is a word. learn them and use them
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grimark · 1 year
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not that anybody asked but i do think terms like "cis+" or "cisn't", which i've seen thrown around in relation to the prev post, are a bit unnecessary. to me, it just seems like excessively atomising a fairly common experience, which is the desire to not be subject to the more uncomfortable and restrictive aspects of socially constructed gender roles. and sure, it might never even occur to a lot of cis people to do this kind of introspective analysis of their gender identities, and they might therefore be lacking some of the additional perspective of someone who has, but i don't think we necessarily need need a special new category for it. when you get down to it, "cis person who has previously questioned their gender" and "cis person who has never felt the need to question their gender" are both still cis, which in theory is a value-neutral description and a perfectly fine thing to be.
#this isn't meant as a criticism of people who like those terms or find them valuable or validating#it's more just. i don't get it and i don't really see the point of them but that's fine because they're not aimed at me anyway.#if you're cis but you want to add a modifier to encapsulate your gender journey then you do you.#to me just seems a bit patronising to tell cis people they're actually cis+ or whatever#like. aww you did such a good job thinking about your gender! here is a star sticker for you that says 'more evolved than other cis people'#instead maybe we can just trust that 1. people are the experts on their own identities and experiences#if someone says they're happy to continue identifying as the gender they were assigned at birth we can probably take their word for it!#and 2. accept that we all probably have a lot more in common than we might assume#it seems like a mistake to think 'this experience (gender discomfort and introspection) is exclusively a trait of x category of person'#'so if someone from y category has experienced it they must not actually be y‚ they must be something else instead'#which allows you to comfortably continue to paint people from y group as a wholly separate other with fundamentally alien experiences#and no possible point of overlap or common ground.#i see this a lot with the eternal thorn in my side which is posts about how The Neurotypicals Do This Thing#and also with a certain flavour of ace discourse#which presumes that 1. anyone who doesn't choose to identify under the asexual identity umbrella must necessarily be allosexual#2. there is a single unifying allosexual experience which can be equally applied to the rest of the human population#and 3. no allosexual person could possibly have a complicated or fraught relationship with sex and sexuality.#or if they did have any experiences in common with asexual people they'd naturally choose to identify as ace instead.#therefore these two identities must be wholly separate groups with no experiential overlap.#like idkkkkk clearly these hyperspecific labels are useful to some people!#but to me they often just seem to generate feelings of division and othering#or they're used as a way to claim a particular experience as exceptional to one group#when it's actually a pretty common feature of the human condition.
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ai-thne · 2 years
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can't believe someone still has to say this but if you, a cis straight girl, fancy yourself for having so many friends who are gay men, but think that that makes you entitled to say the f slur and act weird around my partner and i (lesbians) when we're there talking to our mutual friend, you're a bigot in rainbow clothes.
#yelling into the void#sorry this sounds like i should have posted it in 2015 because by now the whole point of this post is obvious to everybody#but unfortunately i live in a backwards hellhole of a country so we still have an abundance of people like this and it still makes me mad#because ok time to rant#couple days ago my friends and partner and i all went to a festival together#we go every year and it's always great fun#except this year a couple of our friends decided to invite their own friends from out of the region too#i personally don't know those people but you do you i mean i have abandonment issues but they don't really apply in this case#(i still felt like shit thinking about how they went around more with those people than us their friends of several years but ok)#also i don't really remember if they asked us if it was ok if those people were coming or not but i digress#either way yeah they were fine with us not really liking this one girl that was coming because„„#you know the popular high school girl stereotype?#yeah#she's unable to admit being at fault too and the person i'm vaguing in the text above#because girl you can't just straight up go silent and look at my partner with that fucking face (even i can tell) once we show up#we were on queue for food too lmao it's not like i'm here to annoy you i'm hungry#if i could go somewhere else i'd go there but yk#i have food allergies and more than two vendors here don't know if their fry oil could send me flying into anaphylaxis so#so anyway. went quiet when my partner and i showed up and whispered to who i assume was her shitty bf while i talked#as if i talked more than 500 words the whole festival#i felt like shit and i hope to god she lives with the uncomfortable feeling of knowing that she can't fool my partner and i with her facade#i made fun of it once i realized (in private) but then it just faded into bitterness
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l1tw1ck · 6 months
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Newlyweds
bottom!ftm Miguel x top!male reader
🕷️Word Count: 1,947🕷️
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[Part One] | AFAB Language Used
CW: Menstruation (No Period Sex), Lingerie, Dom/Sub, Daddy Kink, Cunnilingus, Squirting, Creampie, Breeding Kink, Impregnating, Mating Press, Lactation Mention, Praise Kink
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Miguel wakes up with pain. A lot of pain. Along with discomfort and the familiar feeling and smell of blood. Of course he starts his period unexpectedly in your bed. Not only that but he has cramps and a hangover. Great way to start the morning. He hopes you at least have advil. He taps your shoulder and wakes you up.
“What's wrong?” You ask, noticing that it's still pretty early in the morning.
“I’m on my period.” He frowns. “Sorry…about your sheets.”
“Don't apologize, it's not your fault. Do you need anything? Food, meds, something hot?” You get out of the bed. Miguel shakily gets out as well.
“A shower would be nice…and some ibuprofen? Or advil?”
“No problem. Luckily for you, I have some pads or tampons you can use. I keep them for when family visits. Do you use a heating pad? I have one of those too.”
“Yeah, a heating pad would be helpful.” He nods. “I prefer pads.”
“Okay, go ahead and get in the shower, I’ll leave some clothes out for you to wear. Oh, and you’ll need to eat something too. Is there anything you prefer?”
“Whatever you can make is fine.”
“Alright, I'll get everything you need. Take as long as you want in the shower.”
.....
Miguel gets out of the shower and walks into your room. The bed is stripped and the bloody parts are being soaked in a cleaning mixture. He hopes he didn't ruin your mattress. He looks at the pair of boxers you left for him and frowns. It's no surprise that you don't have any panties, why would you? But wearing pads with boxers isn't very….safe. It's a good thing the two of you are neighbors, he’ll have to ask you to get him a pair of underwear. He pulls up the boxers half way and applies the pad, praying that it’ll do the job, and pulls it up completely. He puts on your shirt, happy that it's big on him, and puts on the pair of shorts.
He walks down the stairs and into the kitchen. “Hey..”
“Hey! There’s the meds.” You point to the bottle of ibuprofen and cup of water next to it. “I’m making pancakes. How do you like ‘em?”
“With butter and syrup.” Miguel looks at the medicine bottle and concludes that he’ll thankfully only have to take one. He hates taking pain medication because of the risks but they're unbelievably helpful. He sighs, putting a pill in his mouth and swallowing it with water.
“...Hey, at least you're not pregnant yet.” You smile sheepishly.
Miguel chuckles. “We should probably start planning for when I actually am pregnant.”
“Yeah…I’ll have to start packing my things soon, right? I don't want Gabriella to have to worry about moving her stuff here.”
He appreciates how you consider his daughter too. “That’d be the best way.”
“At least we're neighbors, that’ll make the process much easier.”
“That reminds me…can you…can you go to my house and get me a pair of panties? They're specifically made for periods…I have a box of period stuff in my closet, you’ll know it when you see it. I’d go myself but-”
“Don't worry about it, babe. I’ll get it for you. After you eat, you can go lay down in the guest bedroom, I already put the heating pad in there. If you want, I’ll pick Gabi up and bring her here.”
“Please. Thank you so much.”
“Of course.” You kiss his forehead.
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Gabi walks up to your car, confused. “Why are you picking me up?”
“Your dad’s feeling sick so he asked me to come get you.”
“Oh. Is papá okay?”
“Yeah, he's fine. He’s just on his period.” You nod. “Come on, get in.”
Gabriella grimaces, feeling bad for her dad. She gets into the backseat and buckles her seatbelt.
“So…What do you think about coming to my place and eating dinner with me and your dad?”
Gabriella grins. “Are you gonna cook?”
“Of course! Whatever you want.”
“Then…Can you make burgers? I haven't had a burger in soo long! Papá sucks at cooking and he thinks fast food burgers are made of rat meat!”
You laugh. “Sure thing. What kind of burger? And do you want fries too? I can make ‘em from scratch.”
Her eyes widen. “Really? I love fries! And I really wanna try a bacon cheeseburger!”
“You got it, Gabi.”
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“You’re so good at cooking! I wish Papà could cook like you.” Gabriella wipes her face clean.
“Hey! I can cook just fine, Gabi!”
“Then how come we had to order takeout the other night because you made green goop?”
“Green goop?” You look at Miguel, grinning.
“It was supposed to be green, okay?!”
“Mhm~” You hum in a sarcastic tone. “Maybe I need to save Gabi from your horrible cooking.”
“Please! You guys should get married. Then you can cook us dinner all the time!”
You look at Miguel.
Miguel looks at you and nods. “Well…Actually, mija…”
She looks at him curiously.
“We are getting married.” He can't hide his happiness.
Her entire face lights up. “Really?!” She puts her game down and stands up. “Am I really gonna get an hermanito now?!”
“Yes, mija.” Miguel chuckles.
“When are you gonna order them?!”
“...Order?” You raise an eyebrow.
“You know, go to the stork postal service and order a baby!”
You and Miguel look at her, dumbfounded.
“What?” She frowns.
“Mija…We need to teach you where babies really come from..”
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After the horrifying explanation (which was actually very tame compared to the talk Miguel’s parents gave him), Gabriella accepted the fact that babies are in fact not delivered by storks. Miguel doesn't even know where she got that from.
Now she's started to see you as the second father you’ll soon become. Rather than using your name, she calls you dad. It makes you happy to know she's so accepting of you as her father. She invites you to her soccer games and school events and of course you show up to everything you can. She loves that she has two parents. It's so comforting to see the two of you in the bleachers while she's playing. And now it's a lot less likely for her to be alone at events. If Miguel’s working, you usually show up and vice versa.
And of course she’ll be the maid of honor at your wedding. She’s almost more excited about the wedding than the two of you are.
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Miguel walks down the aisle, holding a beautiful bouquet of red and blue roses. He looks gorgeous. You can't wait for your honeymoon.
He walks up to you and gets into place.
“You look beautiful.” You smile at him.
“Thank you..” He replies, bashful.
You’re lost in Miguel’s beauty for the entire ceremony, only paying attention to when it's time to exchange rings, say your vows, and say “I do.”
You go in to kiss Miguel, sad that you can only peck him on the lips. You don't want to traumatize all the children with a french kiss. You pick him up and carry him bridal style.
“Do you wanna stay?” You ask.
“I wanna make our baby.” He says.
You nod and start running towards the jet you rented. Everyone in the crowd watches in shock as you abandon the wedding. Miguel throws his bouquet and a ton of people scramble to grab it. Thankfully for you two, Gabriella is staying with her grandparents so you can escape to your honeymoon without worry.
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Miguel walks out of the bathroom, dressed in a beautiful lingerie set. A red lacy bra and panties along with matching stockings with garters to hold them up.
You hurry over to him. “You look amazing.” You grope his ass and give him a soft kiss. “Lay down.”
Miguel gets onto the bed and lies down, waiting for your next move. You grab his thighs and kneel in front of the bed, pulling him close to you. There's a gap in his panties for easy access. You press kisses along his thighs, occasionally sucking and biting them. You move to his pussy, pressing a kiss against his erect t-dick. He twitches in response. You bring it into your mouth and swirl your tongue around it.
“Fu- fuck–” He moans, curling his toes. He throws his head back and gasps as you start sucking him off while simultaneously slipping two of your fingers inside him. Miguel arches his back, moans getting increasingly louder as you finger him. “God yes–” He grins. “‘M gonna come-”
You pull away from him, still working his insides with your fingers. “What do you say, Miguel?”
“Pl- please~ please let me come, Daddy~”
“Good boy.” You go back to sucking on his dick. Miguel shakes as he squirts, drenching you in his pleasure. You lick up his slick before pulling away. “Tell me when you're ready.” You stand up and take your clothes off.
“I’m ready..” He moves backwards and spreads his folds with two of his fingers. “Please breed me, Daddy..”
You smirk. You climb onto the bed and align your length with his hole. Miguel watches intently as you slowly ease yourself inside him. The two of you watch as a bulge appears in his stomach the further you go in. “You're gorgeous, Miguel.” You run your hands up his body and grope his breasts. “You’ll let me get a taste once you start lactating, right?”
Miguel smiles. “Just a taste.”
You bring him into a deep kiss and inch yourself further inside him. Miguel gently moves his hips once he feels you bottom out, desperate to have you fuck him. You part from the kiss and move to his neck, lightly kissing his skin. “I love you.” You murmur before pulling away. You grab his legs and move him into a mating press. Miguel barely has time to process what you just did thanks to your sudden and rough thrusts. He grabs onto your shoulders, nails digging into your skin, and moans loudly as you properly breed his pussy. He can barely keep his eyes focused but just glimpsing upon your aroused expression makes his heart race even faster. It perfectly displays how much you love him and how good he's making you feel. He happily listens to your breathy words of praise and your low sounds of pleasure, falling deeper in love with you as the two of you completely tie yourselves together forever. He’s never been happier.
He already feels himself reaching his orgasm. “‘M clo- oh- close~!” He cries out. “Fuck-” He gasps, suddenly coming. He digs deeper into your skin when he feels you slow down. “Don’t- don’t you dare stop-” He almost growls at you. You take that as a warning and resume your previous pace. He manages to stay sane even as you continue to fuck his sensitive cunt, all for the sake of feeling you impregnate him. Just that is enough to give him strength to keep going.
“You're doing so- so good, Miguel.” You let out a low sound of pleasure. “Such a good boy for me..”
He moans happily.
“And you feel so fucking good..” Your breathing becomes more labored. “Making me come so fast with your tight pussy-” You groan, stopping as you fill him up with your first load of the night. He feels euphoric as your cum invades his insides.
“More…” He looks up at you with the cutest expression.
“I won't stop until I’m shooting blanks, baby.”
Miguel grins. He can't wait to spend the rest of his life with you and your kids.
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imbored1201 · 4 months
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Barca fem x reader
Beach day with everyone? Ideas: Mapi throws reader into reader, Lucy teaches reader how to play volleyball, volleyball comp between everyone?, alexia scolding reader for not applying more sunscreen, alexia being very mum basically, reader plays chicken, just beachy stuff! Not pressure I’m sure your busy writing just thought I’d suggest something
Beach Shenanigans
Barcelona Femeni x Teen Reader
Word Count: 1,330
 
You didn't want to be here, you would rather be using your day off to play video games, but you got dragged over here to the beach on a sunny day for team bonding.
You heavily despised Mapi right now since it was her idea in the first place, and she knew you didn't like her right now either. Considering the way she was grinning at you.
You glared at her the whole time, even when Alexia was putting sunscreen all over your face.
"Don't start with the attitude, Carino; have fun." Alexia tried, but you simply huffed and stormed far away from the team to make a sand castle. 
Before you could start and open your little sandcastle toy set Lucy bought you, it was snatched away. "Hey!" You looked up and rolled your eyes, Lucy. 
"Ona thinks she could beat me at volleyball, so we're playing a game, and I need five people." "I don't know how to play."
"Kid, I don't care, all you do is hit the ball and make sure it doesn't hit the ground. Now hurry up so I can get Ingrid and Fridolina. We need the tall girls; you go get Irene." You nodded as she ran into the water to where Frido and Ingrid were.
"Shit," you cursed when you saw Ona already talking to Irene. Lucy would kill you if you came back without her. Quickly thinking, you grabbed a rock and set it down in front of you, then sat down. 
"Ow!" You yelled, and Irene, of course, having that mom instinct, quickly turned to your direction. "Irene!" You yelled for her, and she was quick to run to you. "What happened?" She asked as she kneeled beside you. 
"I stubbed my toe because of this dumb rock," you pouted, and she patted your back. "You’re being dramatic again, aren't you?" She was already used to this; you did the exact same thing towards the end of training to get out of running. 
You nodded. "Lucy told me to ask you to be on our team for volleyball." Irene nodded as she helped you up and led you to where Lucy was with Frido and Ingrid, who were drying up now. 
You smirked as you turned around to where Ona was standing in disbelief and flipped her off. 
—————
The teams were settled; it was you, Lucy, Irene, Fridolina, and Ingrid against Ona, Salma, Patri, Cata, and Pina. 
“Look, do what I’m doing,” you copied Lucy’s hands, “or you can spike it.” You tried to look like you understood what she was saying, but you didn’t. 
You didn't even hit the ball once. Mostly because, when you tried, Lucy would push you out of the way to get it. 
You guys did win, though. "Losers," you told Pina and Patri. "You didn't even do anything," Patri pointed out. "I still won though, and you two are still losers," you shrieked as they tried grabbing you and ran off. 
You went back to your old spot and went back to building sand castles, but of course, you couldn't get at least 10 minutes of peace. 
Mapi came running up to you and decided to tackle you. "Ew, Mapi, get off. Your all wet," she got off you and stood up. 
"Come on, let's go swimming." She jumped up and down like a child. You shook your head and threw the toy shovel straight at her face. 
"That's it!" you shrieked as she forced you up and threw you over her shoulder. "Mapi! No!" You yelled as she full-on sprinted to the water. "Yes!" She yelled back as she threw you into the water.
Ingrid quickly grabbed you to help you stand. "Mapi! You could have hurt her," she said as she patted your back. "She's fine." Mapi patted you on the head. "I didn't want to wet my hair," you whined.
"We're at the beach, Carino; have some fun, this is one of those rare moments where Alexia lets you leave her side," she had a point. 
"Only for a couple of minutes," Mapi nodded and grabbed you and suplexed you, getting another scolding from Ingrid. 
You were done after one last push from Mapi, you rushed out of the water. Mumbling curse words under your breath. 
"Bebe!" Alexia yelled for you. You put your innocent smile back on and walked over to her. She threw a towel at you and motioned for you to sit by her. 
When you saw the sunscreen, you tried leaving again, but she grabbed your arm. "You're going to get burned if you don't put more on, and I don't want you crying the whole day over being sunburnt," she ranted, applying sunscreen to your face. 
"Now go and behave," you nodded and pouted as you saw Patri and Pina over where your sandcastle was still in the process of being built, playing with the volleyball around it. 
"Hey!" You yelled as you ran over there to push them away. "Let's play monkey in the middle," Pina said. "No," you told them sternly, sitting down to build your sand castle. 
"Yes," Patri forced you to stand up. "Patri no," you whined, "yes, get it." She threw the ball to Pina, as you ran to get Pina, she threw it back to Patri. 
That made you mad; now you were determined to get that dumb ball and throw it far into the ocean. You tackled Patri, who laughed, and threw it to Pina. 
After six more dumb attempts at trying to get the ball, you gave up. "This isn't fair," you pointed out. "Don't be a sore loser," Patri teased.
"Let me build my sandcastle; I want to make a kingdom." They shook their heads and decided to start doing some keep-ups. Near your castle.
Again. Not even 10 minutes later. 
"Kid! Get over here!" You heard Fridolina yell at you. You groaned as Pina lost control of the volleyball, and it landed straight into your sandcastle. 
"Sorry!" She quickly said, and hid behind Patri. You grabbed the ball and threw it at Alexia, who was sun bathing now near the three of you.
Alexia sat up quickly and looked for the person who threw the ball. You quickly pointed to Pina and even pointed to your poor sandcastle. "Claudia! Ven aqui!" Alexia yelled, and you quickly stood up and ran to Fridolina.
"Yes," you told her, still standing far away from the water. "Get on my shoulders; we're going to show Mapi and Ingrid that just because they're a couple doesn't mean that they'll win every game together," Fridolina said, determined as she motioned for you to go closer to her. 
"But Mapi is way stronger than me," you said as Mapi was already climbing Ingrid's shoulders. "And you're a better cheater; come on, put that cheating mentality to the test." You nodded as you got into the water and onto Fridolina's shoulders.
You giggled as you shoved Ingrid's shoulder with your foot. "Hey!" She yelled as she stumbled back a bit. Mapi lost her balance and fell into the water. 
You and Frido cheered, and she jumped around with you. Mapi stood up and pushed you off. "Hey! Sore loser. Ingrid, control your girlfriend," you told the taller girl, spitting to get that disgusting salt water taste out of your mouth. 
"Rematch cheater," Mapi poked your stomach, and you shook your head. "I won fair and square; I get bragging rights; now I'm tired; goodbye," you told her, and rushed out of the water. 
Alexia gave you an amused look as you laid down on the towel next to her. "Mapi is a sore loser," you told her. "Maybe you're just a cheater," she said back. 
"I won fair and square." "Yeah, sure, pack up; we’re leaving.” You cheered and jumped up to pack everything up. 
For the next 4 months, Mapi and Ingrid did not hear the end of your little victory. 
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7s3ven · 3 months
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can you please do poseidon/reader and she finds out luke is the lightning thief?
THE GRUDGE. luke (pjo)
( master list )
IN WHICH… Y/N L/N can’t forgive Luke for his crimes despite loving him more than she loves herself.
“I know in my heart hurt people, hurt people. And we both drew blood, but, man, those cuts were never equal.”
Warnings : spoilers, small angst (in my opinion lol. I’m more sensitive to family/friendship angst, not relationship angst), short(ish) oneshot
A/N : to any other writers, do you ever act out the situations you’re writing so you can write a better descriptions of reactions and then you realise that you’re actually a good actor?
Because I literally just acted out Y/N’s reaction and either I’m great at fake crying (which has been a talent of mine) … or my heart-wrenching sobs were real 😨. Also, the song one of us from the Lion King suits Luke perfectly.
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The life of a half-blood wasn’t easy, especially not when you were a forbidden child. Y/N flipped through her fashion magazine, aimlessly swinging her legs as she lay on her front. “Y/N.” Luke called out, pushing the creaky door open. She lifted her head, staring at him curiously.
“Hey, Luke.” She smiled at him, clasping her hands together. He grinned back, slowly walking over to her side.
“You feeling okay?” He asked, placing a heavy hand on her shoulder. With Percy, her half-brother gone, she was alone in her cabin. Again.
Y/N gazed at him through her lashes. “Yeah. I’m good. I’m fine.” She whispered, reaching out to grasp his wrist. Luke bit the inside of his cheek.
“I have your phone.” Luke uttered, handing Y/N her device. Phones weren’t allowed in camp but Luke found a way around that, much to Y/N’s happiness. She had spent far too long in the mortal world to give up scrolling through social media.
“Thanks, love.” Her pink-tinted lips curved into a soft smile. “You have no idea how much I need this now that Percy is gone on his quest. It’s so lonely here.”
Y/N always hated being in her own company. Her cabin got messy and she never had the motivation to clean it. She was thankful for Luke because he always helped her with the mundane task that should have been easy, but not for her.
“No problem, princess.” Luke lightly kissed her forehead while she laughed. “I can’t wait until Percy is back because I have a feeling that things are about to change.” Nothing good lasts for long. Y/N, more than anyone, knew that. She stalked through the thick vegetation, harbouring a heavy sword. She had heard rumours of Luke… and she needed to confirm it for herself, even if it meant endangering her safety.
“Luke.” She called out, her voice shaking. She didn’t want to believe the rumours but Luke was unpredictable. Ever since returning from his quest, he hadn’t been the same.
Y/N had been at Camp Half-Blood for longer than most and she had seen demigods come and go, desperately searching for glory but never finding enough of it.
“Luke.” She said again, repeating it like it was a mantra that would save him from the terrible fate he had chosen. She dragged her sword against the ground, her eyes scanning for the slightest bit of movement amongst the trees.
She sighed, thinking of returning to camp before she spotted a flicker of orange. "Luke?" She whispered, but he still heard her. She stepped towards him, breathing heavily.
"Luke... what... is it true? Did you..." Y/N couldn't find the right words. "What did you do, Luke?" She asked, grabbing him by the front of his shirt when she noticed how he avoided her gaze and how his eyes looked so guilty. "What did you do?!"
"I did what I had to, Y/N. The gods... they don't care about us." Luke stiffened as Y/N glowered at him, her eyes filled with so much rage and hate and sadness and everything in between.
"You're wrong, Luke!" She exclaimed, harshly shaking him.
"I'm not like you, Y/N! My father doesn't care about me. Yours might give a shit about you but that doesn't apply to anyone! Look around you. Poseidon ignored Percy for years while nurturing you. My father abandoned my mother and I when he could have helped us. Ares hates Clarisse for being a girl and forces her to train harder until she collapses. They try so hard to find every little flaw in us that they ignore what we've done for them."
"But why this, Luke? Why betray us? Me! You betrayed me, Luke! And all your friends and family! Hermes may not give a shit about you, but I do! I have loved you since we first met, Luke! I fucking love you and you betrayed me!" Y/N slammed her fists against his chest, screaming until tears welled up in her eyes. "What did you do to Percy?" She muttered, her voice barely even a whisper. "Tell me. Tell me now and I might spare you! Please… please.” She hiccuped, her hits growing weaker.
Luke wheezed as Y/N gripped his throat for a split second. "He'll be fine... he only got stung."
"I hate you." Y/N seethed, rage engulfing her soft heart until it spilled out and poisoned her body with its toxins. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you! Gods, I hate you, Luke! Fuck you! Fuck… you!” She screamed, the sound echoing around the empty trees.
But she still couldn't bring herself to stab him. "Get out of here, Luke. Go! Leave! I never want to see your face again!" Y/N's voice shook as she shoved Luke away from her.
Heart-wrenching sobs slipped past her lips as she pointed an accusing finger at Luke. "The gods have fucked up, Luke, but you are no different. Maybe you had the right idea at first... but you went with it the wrong way. And it cost you everything. Don't go near Percy again. Don’t you dare touch him ever again! You don’t deserve his kindness! Don't even look at him because I promise you, if you do, I will drive a stake through your heart!” Y/N's confident voice faltered for a moment. She shakily inhaled. "I hope you're happy with yourself." That fated day still haunted Y/N's mind. She often had nightmares about it, where things turned out different had she stabbed Luke. She always woke up with a loud gasp, covered in a light layer of sweat.
On her nightside table, her phone rang. She hadn't been using it much since Luke left. She slowly reached for it. Nobody had her phone number except her close friend, who lived in Tokyo, her cousin, and... Luke.
Her heart was beating unusually fast as she shakily turned the device over to peer at the screen. Her stomach churned and she dropped her phone in horror. Percy was in the infirmary, still recovering from the pit scorpion attack. She was somewhat thankful for that.
She let the phone ring, letting out a sigh of relief when it finally stopped. But it started again, and again. Until on the third ring, she finally clicked the green button.
She didn't say anything, flinching at the sound of Luke's voice. "Y/N? Y/N. Thank goodness you picked up! I knew you weren't going to answer my iris message so I was hoping your phone was working."
Y/N cut Luke off from his ranting. "Luke... don't call me again."
"Wait, Y/N. Please listen to me. I love"-
She hung up before he could finish. She stared at her phone, gripping it tightly. With a guttural scream, she threw it across the room. It landed safely on Percy's bed and a part of her was glad that it did. It was one of the only things she had left from Luke.
She didn't know if she could ever forgive Luke for betraying her trust. And the worst thing was that she still loved him from the bottom of her heart. "You good?" Y/N quietly walked towards Percy, helping him sit up. He groaned.
"Yeah. I'm sorry about Luke... I know how much he meant to you." Percy's eyes softened as he stared at Y/N, intertwining his fingers with hers.
"He, uh... tried calling me last night." Y/N pressed her lips into a thin line.
Percy tilted his head to the side. "So what'd you do?"
"I ignored him until the third time... then I hung up after I told him to stop contacting me."
"You don't have to be so tough all the time, Y/N." Percy uttered, pulling her into a tight hug. His arms wrapped around her waste and she sighed.
"I really want to scream, Percy. I just... can't believe he could do that so easily. I mean, leave us... leave me. I'm trying not to care and I'm trying to say I'm fine but I can't let it go." Tears welled up again, dripping down the red apples of her cheeks.
Y/N would be lying if she said she hadn’t tried to figure out why Luke did what he did. She tried to piece everything together but it only hurt her head and heart to think.
After ensuring Percy was comfortable, she stepped outside. The camp was in utter chaos after Luke’s betrayal and they were trying to find more spies amongst them. Most people suspected Y/N because she ran into the woods to confront Luke and she was closely associated with him, which didn’t help. But she loved her friends and she could never leave them as Luke had.
She wandered into a small clearing, dipping her hand into a cold river nearby to calm herself. She didn’t even notice someone was watching her from behind until they cleared their throat.
With a panicked gasp, Y/N looked over her shoulder. She was expecting a fellow camper, maybe even Luke, but not Hermes in all his glory. The pair stared at each other for a minute before Hermes finally broke the awkward silence.
“You’re Y/N, right?” He hesitatingly pointed at her, worried he had the wrong girl.
She nodded.
“I know I’m probably the last person you want to see after Luke left.” Hermes started off, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck.
“Luke is the last person I want to see.” Y/N retorted, “You’re second on that list.”
“He really did like you, you know."
“It wasn’t enough apparently.” Y/N shrugged, already accepting that she could tear Luke from his fate, “Maybe I deserved the betrayal… but not from Luke. He practically made me into the person I am. I guess he wanted to see how high he could build me before I fell. He had everything yet he still wanted more.”
“He cared about you. Dare I say, Y/N, he love”-
She cut him off just as she had cut Luke off. “Don’t say he loved me because if he did then he wouldn’t have done this! He… he wouldn’t have done all this!” Y/N choked on her words as she bit back a sob.
“He still loves you. Not loved. Not past-tense. Never past-tense. I’ve seen him, you know. He misses you and for a while, he tried to contact you in every way he could just so he could hear your voice. Even if you were screaming at him. I know that in another life, he wishes he didn’t have to leave you behind.”
“There shouldn’t be another life!” Y/N exclaimed. Getting angry at a god was dangerous but she was so frustrated and angry and hurt. Hermes didn’t seem to mind. He nodded his head, understanding her emotions. “Don’t you get it? You also have to take the blame. You’re part of the reason why he betrayed us!”
“He’ll forgive me eventually.”
Y/N shook her head. “No. You and every other deity thinks that your neglected child will forgive you but they might not. They might forgive but they will never forget. If I can’t even forgive the boy I love with all my heart, how do you think Luke will ever forgive you?” She furrowed her eyebrows.
“Forgiveness takes strength." Hermes whispered, barely loud enough for Y/N to hear. "Luke is much stronger than I originally thought and you, the mighty daughter of the sea god himself, are too.”
“Yeah, well,” Y/N shrugged as she stood up, brushing the dirty off her pants. “I don’t think I’m quite there yet.”
“It takes time.” Hermes said, “Meanwhile, I would suggest answering that.” He pointed at her phone that was ringing in her hand. Y/N didn’t even notice with how distracted she was.
She briefly looked down at the screen and raised her head again, her lips parting when Hermes was nowhere to be seen.
She hesitatingly pressed the accept button and raised her phone to her ear. She heard him quietly gasp, surprised she even answered again. “Luke… hi.”
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wynnyfryd · 1 month
Text
Trailer park Steve AU pt 56
part 1 | part 55 | ao3
March
"Steve, honey," Claudia calls from the living room, where he can hear her shuffling around to get her things ready for work — the rustle of a jacket, the clink of keys against her thermos. "Do you need anything before you go?"
"I'm fine, Ma!" Steve answers.
And he is. He is fine. It’s been three weeks, and Steve is fine! He has a date tonight with a girl he doesn’t care about, and he's gonna cheer on Lucas at the championship game, and the other day at work he got a fifty cent per hour raise. And sure, his nightmares are worse than ever and his head aches all the time, and he’s had some weirdly persistent sinus infection or some shit going on, but he only teared up once this week while jerking off to thoughts of Eddie, so.
All in all, not bad.
He shoves a plain bagel in his mouth and rushes to leave the house; passes Claudia on the way out, who's now rapping her knuckles impatiently against Dustin’s door and asking, “Dusty, what’s going on in there? You’re gonna be late!" to which Dustin replies with a panicked shriek: “DON’T COME IN, I’M NAKED!”
Jesus Christ. "Deafen my other ear, why don't you?" Steve mutters under his breath.
He throws Ma a parting wave and heads out to pick up Robin so he can take her to school before his shift starts. She looks nicer than usual, and she won’t stop reapplying her mascara, and by the time Object of My Desire starts playing on the radio Steve is practically begging her to just suck it up and end this will-they-won’t-they thing with Vickie because it’s been months of obvious flirting and Robin still won’t make a move.
“I listen to you, and now look at me!” he argues, as if the handful of pointless dates he’s used to distract himself from Eddie are anything to look at. “Boom. Back in business.“
“Mm,” she objects, a little ‘you’re so full of shit’ frown on her face. “Not the same thing.”
Don’t say it, you bitch, don’t even—
“You ask out a girl and she says no…”
Oh, thank fuck. Steve sags in relief and licks the corner of his mouth as he listens to her rant, grateful that she’s just working the small town homophobia angle and very graciously not pointing out how half-hearted and sad his attempts to move on with his life have been. It’s a small mercy he repays by rambling about girls and boobies and girls who definitely like boobies until she scowls so hard at him that she smudges her mascara and has to apply another coat.
Dustin calls the store some time around lunch. Asks if Steve wants to sub in for Lucas at tonight’s Hellfire campaign, which, first of all, fuck you — he’s been helping Lucas practice for months now, he’s not about to miss this game — and secondly:
“What, to hang out with you and Eddie the Freak Munson?” he asks, idly playing with a slinky. “Uh, yeah. I’ll pass.”
"Dude."
"What?"
"You can’t just call him names because you’re pissed at him! That’s not cool!”
Steve rolls his eyes and tugs the slinky so hard it flops off the counter’s edge.
“Look,” Dustin says, his voice dipping into that low and slow and trustworthy thing that makes Steve want to snap the kid’s non-existent collarbones. “I know you won’t tell me what happened, but whatever it was, he’s sorry, okay? He’s really, really sorry. And he asks me about you, like, every day; if I didn’t know any better I’d swear he was in love with you or something.” Steve chokes on his own spit, and Dustin just keeps going; steps right over Steve’s corpse to continue his impassioned plea. “Besides, friends forgive each other! Right, Steve?”
Goddammit. Steve really regrets saying those exact words in that exact order the last time Lucas and Dustin had a fight. “Man, you can’t just use my own brotherly advice against me.”
“I can, and I will.” Wow. What a little shit. “Seriously, dude, come on! How many times do I have to pass on his apology messages before you just talk to him?”
How many times? How many times?
Steve doesn’t know.
He just knows he’s not ready; knows that as soon as he talks to Eddie, it’ll make it all real. It’ll be over for good. Whatever words they exchange next will get etched into the headstone of the thing they briefly had. He opens his mouth to say something, to try and make sense of the vortex in his head, but all he gets for the effort is a fresh migraine coming on.
He’s saved from answering by the doorbell’s chime. “I got some customers,” he says over Dustin's squawk of protest. “Gotta call you back, bye.”
part 57
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7-wonders · 8 months
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Wishful Drinking
Morpheus/Dream of the Endless x GN!Reader
Summary: After Morpheus cruelly dismisses you, you decide that you'll get back at him by staying out of the Dreaming one night for as long as you can. What you don't anticipate is letting your feelings get the best of you and getting very drunk instead.
Or, drunk shenanigans galore!
Word Count: 3.5k
Author's Note: I don't know what this is, y'all. I haven't written anything in more than a month, and it was so tough to even write this, but I wanted to write SOMETHING. As always, hope you enjoyed, let me know your thoughts, and likes, comments, and reblogs make my world go round.
ALSO! Dream logic applies here, in that you're still drunk when you reach the Dreaming.
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Listen.
You know that certain coping mechanisms, like, say, going out clubbing with your friends and getting crazy drunk for the first time in a long time, aren’t exactly healthy. But things have been difficult for you lately! You’ve been struggling a lot, in both your professional and personal life. These hardships are only compounded by the fact that the one person (or person-shaped being) in your life that you thought you could count on, your Morpheus, has been too busy to have time for you.
Literally. He said those exact words to you a mere three days ago, when you had found him in his personal study (a study that he almost never used) after what felt like a day spent chasing him around the Dreaming. You meant for it to come out as teasing when you took note of the fact that you hardly saw him around lately and that it felt like he was purposefully avoiding you, but he had sighed and glared at you before saying, “I have much to do, and I am far too busy to entertain you right now.”
You glowered, but, as he said, he was too busy to see it. Fine, you thought as you turned around and stalked out of his study. Leave him to his business. 
Cut to today. When your friends asked if you wanted to go out with them, you almost said no, having gotten accustomed in the past couple of months to the routine of going to bed by nine o’clock in order to maximize time spent in your lover’s realm. But then, the more you thought about it, the more you realized that you didn’t want to just continue sitting around in the Dreaming and hoping that Morphues would come out of whatever funk he was in. After all, why should you make an effort when he won’t? You’re not about to beg for his attention.
With that in mind, you texted back that you very much wanted to go out with them and proceeded to get ready for a fun night out.
The plan was to have a couple of drinks, dance for a bit, and stay out of the Dreaming just long enough to make Morpheus sweat a bit.
But then shots had been ordered.
And your friend bought you a drink because they knew you had had a tough week.
And you bought yourself two drinks.
And a group of guys bought you another round of shots, and though you all laughed at the fact that they were not getting anything out of this, you still took them because you weren’t about to turn down free alcohol.
This leads to you and your friends stumbling out of a bar at two in the morning, holding each other up as you do. Definitely not the plan, but what’s that one quote about plans and mice and men?
“What about a mouse?” your friend asks from beside you, making you realize that you said that out loud.
“Don’ worry ‘bout it,” you say.
Somehow, you make it into a Lyft (thank the gods for friends who don’t get carried away), and somehow, you make it into your home. Not without its difficulties–you dropped your keys multiple times on the walk to your front door, and there might be a you-shaped indent in the entryway wall from where you fell into it when trying to kick your shoes off. 
When you reach your bedroom, you decide that actually, the floor looks comfier than your bed does. You’re so drunk that the room feels like it’s spinning when you lay down, and you close your eyes to enjoy the ride.
“Fuck, I’m so drunk right now,” you say out loud, laughing at the sound of your slurred words.
You don’t mean to fall asleep, really. You know that you need to crawl to the bathroom to wash your face and find enough dexterity to change clothes before hopefully sobering up just enough that you can make it to the kitchen to grab painkillers and water for the inevitable killer hangover you’re going to have tomorrow. The floor is just so soft, though, and you work yourself into a trance-like state by staring up at the ceiling fan and watching it go around and around and around. On one blink, you’re staring at your ceiling.
And on the next, you’re staring at another ceiling, one that’s not really a ceiling at all, but an entire galaxy above your head.
It’s easy to get lost in the magnificent colors swirling above you (especially in your current state), and you do, until you hear someone calling your name. When you look away from the universe, you see the love of your life looking at you, though at present, he is not reciprocating the heart eyes that you are always looking at him with.
“Where have you been?” Morpheus demands.
“Morpheus, my love!” You throw your arms out and grin. “I’ve missed you.”
“Do you have any idea how worried I have been? I sent Matthew to find you hours ago when first you were late, only for him to report that he could not find you at your home.” You’re a little surprised that Matthew hadn’t managed to track you down; your little raven friend was almost scarily good at finding people/places/things.
“Aw, you’ve missed me?” It makes sense, of course; after all, you’ve missed him, so it’s only natural that he would miss you in return. Still, the sentiment makes you feel all warm and melty on the inside.
 It’s obvious to anybody who actually takes the time to know Morpheus—a tiny list of people and beings, two of whom are in the room with him right now—that he’s fighting a war between wanting to scold you and wanting to hold you and check you up and down for wounds. Morpheus crosses the room towards you, and you ready yourself for the inevitable lecture you’re about to get, about how you’re just a fragile little human and he worries every moment that you’re away from him (y’know, now that you have the clarity of a drunk person, you’re actually annoyed that this is constantly coming from the being that’s meant to be your lover).
But that’s not what happens.
Instead, you find his arms wrapped tightly around you and his face buried in your neck. He’s hugging you, not the other way around. He’s never done such a thing before, and you don’t know how to react. What you do know is that any of the residual anger you had been feeling drains out of you like water from an unstoppered bathtub. You really didn’t think that being away for—the math isn’t mathing for you currently, and you don’t actually know how long it’s been—a couple of hours would affect him this much.
“You are the one most dear to my heart,” he mutters into your ear, cognizant of the fact that you are not alone in this throne room. “Of course, I missed you.”
“Oh. When you said you were ‘too busy to entertain’ me, I just kinda assumed you wouldn’t notice I was gone.” Though you don’t mean to weaponize your words, the poison darts make contact with their target anyway, and Morpheus stiffens in your hold.
“Are you alright?” he asks instead, choosing to wait until a later time to have this particular conversation.
“Aw, dream boy” you coo, snaking a hand up to clumsily run it through his hair. “I’m okay baby, swear it! Like, absolutely, one hundred percent fine.”
Morpheus pulls away from you so that he can look you up and down to confirm that you really are okay. “You smell like a pub,” he notes. 
“How can you tell that in the Dreaming?”
He ignores your question when a realization seems to hit him. “Are you inebriated?”
“No, I’m drunk,” you correct very matter-of-factly.
“That is–” he stops, choosing instead to just shake his head.
“Oh, dear,” Lucienne mutters from behind Morpheus, reminding you of her presence in the first place.
“Lucienne! Hi! How have you been!” 
You crane around Morpheus to be able to see your favorite librarian, but you almost fall over in the process. Before you can tip too far over, Morpheus is there to right you again. When he does, he looks down at you with quite the serious expression on his perfect face.
“Who did this to you?” he asks, ready to punish whoever put you in such a state.
“Vodka. Rum, maybe?” You think back on your drinks for the evening, though it’s hard to think back that far. “Yeah, the second round of shots was definitely rum.”
“You put yourself in this state?”
“Yes?” Has Morpheus never heard of the concept of going out and getting shitfaced with your pals? “To be fair, I didn’t think that my drunkenness would…” You search for the word that you want to use, but it’s just not coming to you! “Uh, carry over?”
“Please tell me you managed to make it home safely?”
You nod. “Sure did! Pretty sure I fell asleep on the floor, though.”
Lucienne slowly begins to back up towards the door, and Morpheus stares at you for a long moment before sighing heavily.
“Are you mad at me?” you ask nervously, starting to get upset the longer the silence drags on. Did you say something that you shouldn’t have? Is there a rule you don’t know about against sleeping on floors?
Instead of answering you, Morpheus waves a hand in the air and says, “This dream is over.” 
You’re awake and once again staring up at your ceiling fan, only this time, Morpheus is also in your line of sight. It’s impossible to stop yourself from touching him when you’re sober, so it’s not at all surprising that your hands go up to caress his face now when you’re drunk.
“Hi cutie,” you greet, laughing in delight when he flushes just the slightest amount.
He grabs your hands and kisses the back of both before setting them against your chest. “Why are you sleeping on your floor?”
“Because,” is your simple, childish reply.
“That is not a good answer.”
“It’s the one you get because it’s the one I have.” You throw in a peace sign to be extra spicy, but Morpheus, unfortunately, doesn’t comprehend your 21st-century humor, and instead just segues into the next order of business.
“Might I help you up, so that we can get you properly ready for bed?”
“But I’m comfy,” you groan. Morpheus is not buying what you’re selling, unfortunately, so you sigh. “Fine.”
Morpheus holds his hands out for you to take and helps you to your feet. Too fast, apparently, because the room begins to spin and your stomach tilts dangerously, making you clap a hand over your mouth.
“Oh no. Dizzy, dizzy, dizzy,” you chant, squeezing your eyes shut and laying your head against Morpheus’s shoulder while you try to breathe through sudden nausea. You will not throw up on your super hot eldritch nightmare king boyfriend, you command yourself. Not tonight, and not ever.
“What is wrong?” Morpheus sounds panicked, and you want to reassure him, but you hold up a finger in the meantime.
When the nausea finally passes, you take a deep breath and slowly look up. “Okay, I think I’m good now.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. Sometimes drinking too much combined with moving too fast makes people feel sick. It’s my fault, but I’ll be okay.”
“Are you well enough to move?”
“Yes, I promise.” 
To prove your point, you let go of his hand and start walking heel to toe as the police require during field sobriety tests (honestly, you’re a little surprised that you can actually do this right now). You can practically feel your lover's amusement behind you, but it proves to him that you are capable. Morpheus lets you walk to the bathroom on your own power, and you think the only reason he doesn’t sweep you off your feet is because he’s worried you’ll throw up if he does. He watches you intently the entire time, though. 
You sit on the lip of the bathtub, watching Morpheus move about your bathroom as though he knows where everything is; he probably does, you realize, whether it be from that endless wealth of knowledge about everyone and everything that he possesses, or just his familiarity with your home. After rummaging around for a few moments, he comes back with a washcloth and your favorite pajamas. The sight of the familiar material makes you tear up, and you sniffle loudly.
Morpheus looks up in alarm. “Are you okay?”
“You remembered my favorite pajamas,” you say, trying to not start crying. You can count on one hand the number of times he’s come directly to see you off to his realm, and you’ve probably worn those pajamas twice. Yet he remembered the one-off comment you had made about how they were your favorite because of course he did.
His face softens. “Of course I did.”
You clear your throat and wipe your eyes. “Sorry. I’m okay! Just drunk.”
Morpheus hands you said pajamas before turning the faucet on and letting the water run. He seems to realize something after a moment and looks at you helplessly. “I do not feel temperature as you do. Is the water alright?” 
You grin and stick your hand under the faucet, moving the tap just a smidge hotter before nodding at him. “It’s good now. Thank you for asking.”
He begins to run the damp washcloth gently over your face, a barely-there smile appearing on his own when you wrinkle your nose at the cool sensations. Where this situation would be awkward with anybody else, it feels entirely natural with Morpheus. You’ll take these little moments of domesticity with him whenever you can get them, even when you’re still half drunk.
Even if you wanted to, you can’t hold yourself back from saying, “You’re so beautiful, do you know that? Seriously, you’re the prettiest man-slash-anthropomorphic-personification I’ve ever seen in my entire life.” The words are heavy on your tongue, but you’re pretty proud of the way you only barely stumble through ‘anthropomorphic’.
“You are still under the influence,” he notes.
“So? Drunk words equal sober thoughts, right?”
“‘A drunk mind speaks a sober heart.’ Jean-Jacques Rosseau,” he supplies.
“Sure, that. I’d tell you how pretty you are even if I was sober, and you know that.”
“Perhaps.” He says it in that infuriatingly sexy way of his, the one that makes you want to tear his clothes off.
Instead, you’re the one taking your own clothes off, though not for any fun reason. Getting changed is not as difficult a task as it would have been when you first arrived home, with the benefit of time naturally sobering one up on your side. Morpheus still keeps a hand held out, just in case you lose your balance and need something to grab onto, but after you’ve finished changing, that hand slips under your shirt and caresses your side.
“Thought you were supposed to be helping me keep my clothes on,” you say with a shiver, grabbing his wrist and pulling the offending extremity out from under your shirt.
“Apologies.” His tone implies that he’s not sorry at all, not that you would want him to be. “I simply couldn’t resist.”
He looks down at you with so much love in those blue eyes of his that you feel like you don’t think your mortal mind could ever truly comprehend it. Nobody has ever loved you the way that Morpheus has—all-consuming and passionate. He told you once that many of his relationships had ended because he had been seen as too intense, too obsessive in his love. Bring it on, you had told him when he expected you to back down. To date, you haven’t regretted that.
You don’t think you ever will.
Now that you can see the end of your night in sight, tiredness begins to seep into your bones. Though your bed is just right through the bathroom door, it feels miles away. With that in mind, you ask,  “Will you carry me?” 
“Were you not worried that you would feel sick?”
“Yeah, but I’m tired.” You pout (on purpose because you know what it does to him), and you can practically see his resolve break. “Just be careful?”
“Always,” he promises.
And careful he is, slowly picking you up and waiting until you nod to carry you to your bed. He sets you down gently, You’re thrilled to see a glass of water already waiting for you on your bedside table, Morpheus anticipating your needs before you’ve even realized you have them in the first place.
Crawling under the covers after finishing your water, you motion for Morpheus to sit next to you on the bed. He does as you ask, and you move your pillows so that you can sit up and lean on him. When you’re comfortable, you say, “Thank you for everything tonight. I know taking care of me wasn’t what you had planned.”
“You need not thank me. I enjoy caring for you, no matter the situation.” 
Your eyes flutter closed at the sensation of his hand carding through your hair, and you start to feel yourself inching closer to the Dreaming. Something keeps you from truly falling asleep, though, and when Morpheus shifts next to you, you realize what it is: the conversation’s not over. Morpheus is trying to figure out how to say what it is he wants to say.
Finally, he figures it out. “Might I ask you something?”
You open your eyes to give him your full attention and nod.
“Earlier, when you seemed surprised that I had noticed your absence. Did you do this,” ‘this’ being getting very drunk, “because of what I said?”
“No. I mean, I went out because I was mad at you, and I figured that me being a couple of hours late would make you learn your lesson, but I got drunk because I wanted to have fun with my friends and let loose.”
“And did you?”
“Maybe a little too much,” you admit cheekily.
“I apologize for my harsh words the other day. I have been…feeling burdened under the weight of my realm, and I took it out on you for no reason.”
“It’s okay, Morpheus. You’re busy running an entire realm and overseeing the collective unconscious. I shouldn’t be so needy.”
He shakes his head. “It is not okay. I should never talk to you in such a way, and you should never feel as though I do not want you around. I do want you around, always.”
“People say things that they don’t mean. That doesn’t mean they’re not worthy of forgiveness. But you gotta talk to me, okay? When you’re feeling stressed, or when things get to be too much. I’m here for you, and I want to support you however I can.”
“I love you,” he says. The fact that he’s being so open with his emotions is a pleasant surprise; it took him so long to be the first to say it, and even longer to be comfortable with it. You smile up at him.
“I love you, too. Stay with me until I fall asleep?”
“Of course.”
Morpheus turns your bedroom light off without you needing to ask (seriously, you love him so much), and you close your eyes. Then, a thought hits you.
“Hey,” you say, staring up at him in the dark and waiting until he looks at you to continue. “Can you get drunk?”
“No.”
“Why not? I mean, isn’t there special alcohol for preternatural beings? You’d think gods and goddesses would’ve figured out a way to get turnt by now.”
Though he doesn’t want to give in to your rambling when you’re meant to be trying to fall asleep, he can’t help but indulge you. “Gods and goddesses can. We, the Endless, cannot.”
“What? That’s so fucking lame. No. That’s–that’s an injustice! I’m so sorry.
“I promise, it is okay. Now, please go to sleep.”
You nod, but close your eyes for maybe thirty seconds before they snap open again with a realization. “Wait.”
“What?”
“You mentioned other gods and goddesses. How many are there? Are they all real? Is actual God real? I mean, I know the devil is real, you kicked their ass for your helm, but for some reason that’s more believable than–”
“Go. To. Sleep,” Morpheus commands.
“Ugh, you’re no fun!”
“I am not afraid to use my sand if need be.”
“You wouldn’t.” You raise an eyebrow in challenge, and he raises one right back. After a brief stalemate, you’re the first to give in. “You have to understand how world-altering this information is to a regular human like me, I mean–”
You’re asleep before your head hits the pillow.
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lechemoon · 1 year
Text
the one where spencer reid doesn't want to be just your friend
spencer reid x f reader
wc: ~1.8k
prompt: "i don't want to be your friend. i want to fall in love with you."
no warnings apply, however if i miss any please let me know :) additionally, if someone is able to identify the prompt list that the prompt is from, i would appreciate it! i can't seem to find the list </3
a/n: still on my slow rewatch, i haven't finished season 5 but i know for a fact that long-haired jesus reid is coming to an end, so this fic is for him specifically hehe
-
spencer shuts his mouth immediately, and regrets ever having the ability to even speak at all. the way you’re looking at him makes him want to curl up into himself.
“that was rude. all i asked was if you wanted to grab lunch.” you stuff your phone in your pocket aggressively, about facing the opposite direction from him. 
“wait, wait, wait.” he grabs you by the crook of your elbow, slightly yanking to keep you from walking away from him but not so much that you tip over and lose your balance. it’s now or never, and spencer will be damned if he lets you walk away without even trying to make you understand what he’s been trying to tell you.
you groan, and he hates that he can hear the frustration and confusion emitting from you. hates it because he knows how it feels- he’s been feeling it for months. along with this gnawing feeling in his stomach and a clawing feeling in his chest and an ache in his heart (but he’ll ignore that for now- he’s got things to do and words to say).
you move your free hand to run it through the top of your head, brushing any stray hairs from your face. you let out a quick breath from your mouth, and turn your head towards spencer. you make your body so that it’s still mostly facing away from him slightly. “what? you’re gonna explain why you’re suddenly just changing it up on me? being rude to me out of nowhere? if we can’t be friends right now then i don’t think there’s a reason for us to talk outside of work-“
“i don’t-!” he clears his throat because he doesn’t mean to raise his voice in the middle of the work day. his eyes scan the room quickly, and he finds himself thankful that most of the floor has gone out for lunch. those that are here still seem to have either not heard him or are choosing to ignore his outburst. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to shout… can we- can we talk somewhere more private?”
when you don’t show any signs of saying yes, he pulls out the big guns. releasing your arm, he takes hold of your hand instead. gently, unsure. his bottom lip juts out only slightly, just enough that he knows he’s sure you’ve seen it. and he’s sure, because your eyes land on his lips for a second. “please?”
“ugh, fine.” you shake your hand from his. “there’s no one in penelope’s office,” you say as you begin to walk in the direction of your coworker's office. you don’t bother looking back at spencer until your hand finds the door handle. “why are you still sitting? come on! i don’t have all day and i have to grab a snack after this.”
grabbing his bag and getting up from his chair, spencer makes his way (clumsily) to follow you out the door. “i can explain myself,” he says to your back while you both trek your way to penelope’s office.
he practically hears your eyes roll when you respond with, “i’m sure you can.” you turn left because you accidentally lead the both of you the wrong way, so now you’re taking the scenic route.
“i think we took the-“
“i know,” you cut him off, finally reaching penelope’s door. you open it and aren’t surprised you find it unlocked. neither of you are surprised to find that all the computer screens are locked as well. she wouldn’t be penelope if she didn’t secure her babies.
“okay, we have a few minutes before penelope enters her lair.” you turn to him, hands on your hips and tapping your foot impatiently. “well?”
it’s spencer’s turn to brush his fingers through his hair. he knew what he wanted to say before this- had a whole 20 second speech prepared that ended with a small lie of him not actually being hungry. why couldn’t he think of it now? 
i’m sorry. I’m not hungry right now so i didn’t want to get sandwiches with you.
i didn’t mean to tell you to leave me alone like that, or use that tone of voice. or to call you nosey.  
in fact, i don’t think i ever want you to leave me alone. i’d eat a hundred sandwiches if it meant spending lunch with you.
“spencer?”
when he takes a good look at you, he forgets everything he wanted to say. “u-uhm,” he bites his lower lip. “i-i’m sorry, i usually… i usually don’t forget what i want to say.” not a lie, not a truth. he has fragments of what he wants to say dangling in his brain, but no way to string them all together.
you smack your lips and cross your arms. “reid, really? you tell me to leave you alone, then you tell me to talk privately- why are you pulling my leg?”
it hits him when he remembers you saying if we cant be friends-
“i don’t want to be your friend,” he tells you directly, looking into your eyes. it takes everything in him not to break eye contact. it gets harder to not look away when you’re staring right back at him with eyes expectant. waiting. almost impatient looking.
and they change slightly. now he sees hurt, worry, sadness. your foot stops tapping. “you… you don’t want to be… friends?” you cross your arms, and spencer knows you’re getting defensive and closed-off. you’re getting ready to leave the room. 
but his hands find your upper arms and slides down them, releasing you from your knot and landing at your wrist. he turns them upward, and rubs his thumbs against them in small circles. “i-i don’t want to be just your friend,” he says again, but with more intention.
now he sees something new in you- confusion, curiosity. “just my friend?”
“not just your friend,” he repeats. “I feel like… no. i think i-i want to… to fall in love with you,” he says finally, and his face feels hot and his throat feels dry. 
shit, he thinks, that’s not what i was going to say. i didn’t mean to say love! like would have sufficed just fine!
what he should have said was that he liked you more than he would any other person, that you made him feel like he was floating or that he was flying.
spencer feels his stomach drop when you don’t respond to him right away, and he lets his hands begin to fall from your wrist. “that came out wr-“
but you grab his hands into your own before physical contact can even break. “you what?” 
“i mean- i did want to be your friend, i do want to be your friend it’s just that i,” he doesn’t know where his sentence is leading but he knows that he wants you to know that wanting to be with you wasn’t his intention at first. “i think… i think you’re great. you’re smart and you’re pretty, and sometimes i notice that you match your socks to your blouse- why are you looking at me like that?”
you're biting your bottom lip to hold back your smile, but the sparkle in your eyes and the crinkle at the corners give you away. you’re happy- nervous, but happy. at least, that’s what spencer speculates when he takes a look at you. 
“i feel like i should be mad at you,” you admit, letting go of his hands so that you can rub yours together. penelope’s cave is cold. “liking someone isn’t an excuse to snap at them the way you did to me earlier.”
“i know, and i’m so sorry-“
you cut him off again. “let me finish.” and his lips shut.
not knowing what to do with his now vacant hands, he stuffs them in his pockets and fingers the lint that has made its way into them. 
“do you know why i ask you out for lunch all the time?” you ask him, pointing one of your index fingers to his chest. 
spencer shakes his head. “because you… like the company and camaraderie?”
“i like your company,” the finger against his chest pushes in slightly, and you take a step back so you don’t have to continue to crane your neck at a weird angle to look up at him. “i like you.”
a confession, spencer thinks to himself, wasn’t on his list of things he expected to happen today. “me?” in attempts to keep a grin from forming, he purses his lips together. it doesn’t help, because now he’s grinning with his teeth in full display.
he tilts his head to the side in disbelief. “r-really?”
“yes, really!” a new third party squeals excitedly from behind. 
both you and spencer bring your attention towards the door. spencer shouldn’t be surprised to find penelope in her own doorway, but he is. and so it seems are you. 
penelope dances in, doing a happy little shake as she prances past the two of you to set her things and then herself down. neither of your eyes leave her as she settles herself in. spencer feels like his eyes are as wide as they can possibly be and he wonders if you’re feeling the same way, because when he looks at you he thinks that he’s sporting the same look of a deer caught in the headlights.
no one says anything. only the sound of a pastry being released from it’s parchment prison by penelope fills the room until you finally say, “how long have you been standing there?”
the tech beauty of the team rips a piece of her danish to pop it in her mouth and chews on it for a few seconds, exhaling happily when the taste finally hits her tongue. she swallows before she give you her answer. “i’ve been here since…,” she checks her naked wrist as if she were checking the time, and then looks up to smirk at spencer, “since the boy genius said he wanted to- what was it again, dr. reid?”
taken aback by being thrown into the conversation so suddenly, spencer stumbles on his words. “u-uhm, i uh, i said i-”
“ah that’s right,” penelope smiles, setting her pastry down and dusting her hands off. “you said you would like to fall in love with our dear friend here?” she points to you and winks. 
if spencer’s eyes could get any wider and if his face could find a darker shade of pink he knows they would. 
“so,” penelope crosses her legs and leans back in her chair. her eyes haven’t left you, and spencer is thankful that he doesn’t have to face the intensity he sees in penelope. “i see your dream’s coming true, love bug,” she says to you, and spencer sees you bite your thumbnail to try and hide your smile. 
you finally look at spencer, and he feels his stomach flutter. “i really, really like you spencer,” you say to him to finish off your interrupted conversation.
“oh yeah,” penelope adds, nodding excitedly, “she really does, doctor.”
-
a/n: thank you for reading <3
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nothorses · 1 year
Note
I noticed that you reposted something that is along the lines of proship
I agree with leaving media alone but I think its incredibly disgusting when people ship, for example siblings, because what it feels to me is that they have an incest fetish or something
I know just because someone writes about murder doesnt mean they support it, and I believe that. but usually when people write about murder it's in a negative context, obviously showing how it is so incomprehensible to outsiders about how someone could do that, or showing how we need to get these people help.
trying to apply this to, for example, incest, if someone ships an incestuous relationship then it seems like it would be in a good context, and it seems like they support it should it be in real life. that's how I view this all. (itd be different if they shipped siblings as a strange headcanon and talking about how it's bad... this reasoning I can understand the most to the point where I can let myself ignore it)
how am I supposed to learn to not care? especially when they are really outward about it?
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okay.
I do not participate in shipping discourse because I do not participate in shipping. I'm not really In Fandom anymore like, generally. I don't... care.
Because of this I had literally no idea what you were referring to in this ask. I had to scroll. So far back. To get to this post, which also doesn't refer to shipping discourse.
I also have not talked about incest here, and the post in question doesn't talk about incest.
It's about murder. And gore. Which you say here is fine.
Literally why did you send me this ask.
And like... there's a fair chance this is just bait, and there's also enough of a chance that you're genuinely asking that, like, fuck it. I'm gonna get shit no matter what I do, so I may as well try to do a little good.
You use the words "feels" and "seems" a lot in this ask. And I'm really glad you did, actually, because I think it's honest; you're operating on your feelings and assumptions, and that's really important to keep in mind.
And your feelings on this are valid! It's normal to be uncomfortable with certain content, and it's normal to not want to see or engage in it. You don't need to feel any differently about those things. You don't have to consume incestuous content, you don't have to be okay with it, and you don't have to be around it.
But ask yourself: you assume that other people engaging in this content means they support it in real life, but what if they don't? What if you're wrong?
Maybe they're saying it's wrong in a way you're just not picking up on, or that you don't recognize. Maybe they aren't saying it's wrong; maybe it's in the context. Maybe it's in a genre trope in a genre you're not familiar with. Maybe it's irony or satire that you aren't picking up on. Maybe they aren't saying it at all, but that's still what they think, and they just chose not to put it in that content for... who knows what reason. Maybe they're literally just bad at writing.
What then?
Sometimes you're going to feel or assume that something is going on, and you're just gonna be wrong. And you could ask who's fault that is- did you fail to pick up on something you should have been able to, or did they fail to communicate it well enough?- but like, what are you going to do with that information?
Sometimes people are not very good at literary analysis, and sometimes people are not very good at writing, and that's just part of learning. Do we tell everyone not to attempt to talk about certain topics unless they're "good enough" to do it "right"? How do we know when someone's "good enough", and how do they get to that point without practice? Do we just ban those topics altogether? What topics do we ban- where's the line? How do we enforce it? How do we prevent that from being weaponized against marginalized people?
Anon, you asked me how you can "not care" about these things existing. And I think that's a valid question; you feel there is injustice, and you want to stop it. That can be a very noble impulse, and it can be harnessed for a lot of good.
But it can also be really, really toxic- not just to the people you hurt because you act on assumptions and impulses that are incorrect, but to yourself. You can't control everything. You can't control how other people feel, whether or how they engage in certain topics, or what they do or say. You just can't. And trying, or wanting to try, or thinking you should try- it's going to drive you nuts.
So here's how not to care:
Remind yourself that you might be wrong. Take a moment to think about all the things you don't know for certain, and the things you would need to know to be absolutely, 100% sure that you're right.
Consider how important this is to you. How close is this person to you? How important is this issue? What would it feel like to let this go- would it continue to impact you? Do you have other options? (removing yourself from the situation, blocking tags/posts/people, etc.)
Consider what you can do, and what you should do. Think about the tools at your disposal, the power you have in this situation, and how likely this person is to listen to you. Think about whether those tools are ethical. Again, what if you're wrong? Is there any reason you might regret your actions?
If you still feel like it's worth addressing, start by asking questions. Make sure you really know what's going on, and if (and when) the situation changes with new information, walk through this process again. Repeat back what you believe is happening until they confirm that you're right, decide again whether this is worth it, and then proceed.
Sometimes it's more effective to just vent to someone else, or to make a post about the issue generally without confronting that person- especially considering your assumptions might be wrong! Maybe it's worth it to talk about what you thought was happening, but you don't know that what you thought was happening is what was actually happening. You can still talk about it, just, y'know, without making it an attack on someone else.
And again, I don't give a shit about fandom discourse. This is important to me because these are themes that crop up in regular-ass media all the time, and disagreements that crop up in regular-ass relationships with friends and family and loved ones. I think it's important that people have the skills to navigate disagreements, unintentional harm, and perceived slights in healthy, productive ways.
You can't live your whole life demanding that everyone agree with you on everything, or blaming other people for everything you misinterpret or assume incorrectly. You cannot assume that everything that hurts you was designed to hurt you. You can recognize that these are assumptions and feelings, and that's great! And I hope you're being honest when you say that you want to learn to let things go.
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allbark-no-bite · 10 months
Text
kiss me and apologize || Carmen Berzatto x reader
summary: from private chef to working in a rundown restaurant in Chicago, your life does a 180 as you try to fit into the world that is the Beef. Richie isn’t helping and Carmen just can’t figure you out
word count: 3.7k
warnings: swearing, mentions of michael’s death/suicide
author’s note: so um i guess i write for the Bear now?? official obsessed with the show and was inspired by all of the great writers that write for Carmy on here :)
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"Carmen? The door?"
"What—? Oh yeah, yeah. Sorry."
He turns towards the door, fumbling for the key with numb fingers, his face burning hot.
He wasn't used to anyone else besides himself showing up to the restaurant so early in the morning, and he definitely wasn't used to you and your pink cheeks and and warm smile greeting him at the door. You were a new hire to the Beef, a godforsaken miracle dressed in oversized overalls who had shown up two weeks ago and been hired by Sydney on the spot.
She had been smitten with you from the start, dead set on hiring you without so much as a second interview.
"—studied in Copenhagen, worked at multiple Michelins in New York. I mean look at this, Carmen. She's a private chef in the Hamptons. We would be stupid not to hired her."
And you were great. You are great. Except for the fact that you're really fucking distracting.
"You sure you got it, chef?"
Carmen can't even blame the heat rising from his cheeks from the cold at this point because his hands are sweating as he jiggles the door knob that somehow always seems to get jammed at the worst possible moments. This is one of those moments.
Finally, he hefts his weight against the door while twisting the knob and it busts open. A muffled snort escapes you from behind him. Carmen steps inside, holding the door open for you with a small wave of his hand. "Sorry. I'm sure this crap isn't what you were expecting when you applied here—"
He's rambling, stomach twisting in knots. His nerves always screw up his stomach—maybe he'll pop a few Tums before—
"It's fine, Camren," you assure him, stepping in from the cold, body pressing against his in the small entry way. "I like it here."
I like you.
"Yo, am I interrupting something, cousin? You and the princess wanna take that shit somewhere else?" Richie's shout can be heard from all the way across the parking lot, and it makes Carmen visibly cringe.
"Fuck off, cousin," Carmen mutters, reluctantly breaking away from you.
Still standing in the doorway, you huff, whatever moment you and Carmen had shared broken by Richie's arrival. The taller man stomps up the front steps, shaking snow from his boots.
So far, he had been the only staff member you found unbearable. Even Tina had warmed to you after a few weeks and now took great pleasure in listening to your elaborate stories as a private chef. Richie, on the other hand, hated your guts.
"You just gonna stand there and let all the fuckin' cold air in? I'll let Sugar know to take the heating outta your paycheck."
"Fuck off, Richie."
The morning is only the beginning of his wrath.
——
"Richie, you fucking imbecile—"
"Every single time you open your mouth, all I hear is this fuckin' bullshit. Jesus, you're so fuckin' high and mighty with your fancy ass college degree," he sneers, looming over you. If he stepped any closer you would have lacked the self control not to hit him. "You wanna come in here, act like you know everything because daddy sent you to school—"
"You don't have to fucking like me, Richie, but what you're not going to do is push me around and be an egotistical misogynist just because you have a set of balls. So give me my fucking knife."
Richie's hand is in the air beside your head, waving about in wild gesticulation that he does not have your knife, or any fucking knife for that matter. "I don't have your shit!"
With your jaw clenched together, you breathe in deeply through your nose and take in the taller man through narrowed, disbelieving eyes. "Fine." You turn on your heals and storm off. "CARMEN."
Richie throws his hands up and scoffs at your retreating back, yelling after you. "Ohh go ahead, fuckin' call mommy. Like I'm scared of him," he snorts.
"CARMEN!" Your fury only fueled by Richie's taunts, your stride quickens as you shove your way through the chaos of the kitchen, dodging both Sydney and Marcus.
"Woah, chef. What's the matter?" Sydney asks as you whip past her, her hands busy with mashing potatoes, but you don't stop to answer, instead rounding the corner like a woman on a mission.
"CARMEN—"
"—What?!" At the third sound of his name, Carmen finally jerks his head up from his prep station, only to be met with you head on. "What's going on, chef?" he repeats, looking back down to his station after taking in your vexed disposition and gathering that no one's dying. He puts on these sort of metaphorical blinders once he's in the kitchen and nothing, not even you, is going to distract him from what he does best. He becomes an entirely different animal in the kitchen.
"That fucking dickwad has my knife and he won't give it back. How am I supposed to—"
Still urgently chopping carrots, Carmen cuts you off. "Chef, just get another knife," he instructs, stepping around you to dump a pile of sliced carrots into the bin.
His dismissal throws you for a loop and leaves you open mouthed, protest caught in your throat. Just this morning he had been stuttering nervously, cheeks flushed as you stood waiting for him to unlock the staff door. Now he's biting and abrasive, domineering in the way he takes control of the kitchen. You know he's just doing his job, doing whatever it takes to keep his head above the water—keep everyone's head above the water, but right now you want to scream at him. "Just tell him to—"
"Yes, Chef," he provides, indicating that he's done refereeing yours and Richie's squabble. He moves across the station so that you have to step sideways to avoid being in his way.
"But I—"
"Yes, Chef?" Carmen effectively cuts you off with a hard stare, momentarily stopping his urgent chopping. His blue eyes are fixating despite their look of wild urgency.
When it becomes obvious that arguing your point further is going to get you nowhere, you nod, growling a reluctant, 'Yes, Chef.'
If Carmen notices your attitude, he either pointedly ignores it or is too busy shouting at Tina about onions to care. You grab a knife laid out at one of the empty stations, purposefully shoving Richie as you round the corner.
"What's the matter, sweetheart? Mommy didn't take your side?" he calls from the expo station "Didn't fuckin' see that coming."
You ignore him, deciding that he's not worth anymore of your energy for the time being. There's an entire rack of ribs that needs to be sliced and it's going to take you twice as long with this poor excuse of a knife.
"Chef, how are those ribs coming?" Sydney calls amidst the kitchen chaos. "Doors open in fifteen minutes."
Glancing at the digital kitchen clock, panic sets into you as you realize just how much time you've lost. "Fuck," you mutter, more to yourself than anyone. "Ahh—I'm going to need at least twenty," you shout back.
"What? What's taking so long?" Sydney asks. You can hear her moving behind you, finishing up with her own prep.
"Yeah, what's takin' so fuckin' long?" Richie chimes in.
Your grip on the knife's handle tightens, but you don't give him the satisfaction of acknowledging his words. "I'm working on it, Syd," you promise her, praying you can somehow speak that confidence into existence.
Richie is still running his mouth behind you. "Y'know, maybe you just aren't cut out for this. It's not too late to go back to makin' your fancy little hors d'oeuvres up in New York."
"Screw you, Richie," you mutter, your brow furrowed as you concentrate on cutting through the ribs. The knife is hardly cutting and it's taking everything in you not to just start hacking away and be done with it.
"This ain't a cocktail party. This is a real fuckin' business, and we don't need you over here messin' us up and screwin' around—"
"Screw. You. Richie."
"What was that? Can't hear you, princess," he taunts.
Just as you turn to open your mouth, ready to snap at him, the knife hits a dull spot and slips against your grip, catching your fingers along the way. Immediately you jerk your hand back, biting back a cry. The knife clatters to the ground at your feet.
"Fucking dammit!" you exclaim, clutching your bleeding fingers with your other hand.
"Oh now you've really fuckin' done it," Richie laughs, shaking his head.
You only glare at him before muttering, "Move," as you shove past him. To his credit, he doesn't say anymore as you shoulder him out of the way.
By the time you get to the back sink, there's blood seeping from between your gloved fingers and onto the floor. You have to fight back a whimper as you peal away the latex from your skin.
"Woah, woah— what the hell??"
Hands appear beside you, grabbing your own bloody hand and wrapping it tightly in a clean kitchen rag. You close your eyes, willing yourself not to faint. The pressure stings but serves to staunch the blood flow and relieve some of your dizziness.
When you open your eyes, Carmen's blue ones are staring at you worriedly. "You good, chef?"
You close your eyes again, this time not because you're dizzy, but rather to avoid the intensity of his stare. "Yeah," you manage hoarsely, finding your voice. "Yeah. Just bandage me up okay? I've still got prep to do."
Even with your eyes closed you can still feel his eyes on you. He's so close that you can feel the brush of his body against yours.
"Yeah, okay," he finally says, but you can hear the hesitation in his voice. Immediate loss fills your body as he pulls away, but then he's pressed up against you again, holding your fingers steady as he wraps them up.
It hurts and you want so badly to just let go of the cry of pain and frustration that you're holding back. But instead you bite the inside of your cheek and watch Carmen bandage your fingers like he's done it a hundred times before. When he's done, he draws your hand up to his mouth and tears the tape with his teeth. You force back a swallow when his lips brush your skin.
"This okay, Chef?" he asks, looking up at you with those ridiculously anxious blue eyes—anxious like he's always got somewhere to be, something to do, something on his mind. Now they're focused entirely on you.
Somehow you find your voice. "Y-yeah—yeah, thank you." You pause, still staring at him, not moving. "I, um—I should go finish prep..."
"Okay," he answers softly.
"Okay."
"—Hey." Before you turn to slip out of his office, Carmen calls after you. He raises a fist to his chest, tracing it clockwise over his heart.
I'm sorry.
Your brows furrow at his apology. "Carmen, it wasn't your—"
"Yes. It was," he clarifies, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans back against the desk. "I blew you off earlier and you got hurt because of it... So I'm sorry."
From the doorframe, you offer him a half smile.
"Apology accepted, Chef." And then you leave him before he can say anymore, slipping back out into the chaos of rush hour.
——
You do end up finishing you prep before opening. Your fingers hurt like a bitch, and you may need to visit a 24 hour clinic on your way home for a few stitches, but you make it though. Rush hour was hell, your head hurts from both screaming and being screamed at, but now the Beef is closed, the kitchen is quiet, and you can just breathe.
Slowly but surely, everyone files out of the kitchen once they finish their end of the day tasks, bidding you goodbyes and see you tomorrows as they leave—except for Richie, who you flip off once his back is turned.
The bell above the front door chimes, announcing Tina's departure, and then it's just you left tending to your station. Sydney had offered to take care of it for you, seeing as you were down a hand, but cleaning your space at the end of the day gives you peace of mind and time to cool down after all the chaos.
At some point, the lights in the back office click off and heavy foot steps make their way towards the kitchen. Carmen appears beside you, arms crossed as he watches you clean. He's quiet, observing the way you scrub the already pristine table top over and over and over. You don't learn that kind of precision from working in a place like this.
You're an anomaly to him and he doesn't know what to do with you
You certainly don't fit in here with your perfectly refined private school vocabulary and your Michelin star palette and your fucking expensive gold chain necklace that's probably worth more than the rent for his apartment.
"What're you doing here?" he finally asks.
"Wiping my station?" Your voice is leaning on the defensive side and he figures that probably has to do with Richie.
"Exactly," he concedes. "So what are you doing here? Because six months ago you were making fuckin' soufflés in the Hamptons."
This time you actually kind of laugh because that statement is not too far off from the truth. "I don't know, Carmen. I was bored?"
"You don't give up the Hamptons because you're bored."
You look up at him for the first time since he's walked up. There's no bristling anger in your eyes like there was earlier when Richie took your knife—he did and you both know it. You just look at him, really look at him, and then you set down the rag and you nod. "Just like you don't give up Noma?"
Carmen holds your heavy gaze for a while. It's as if some sort of unspoken understanding passes between the two of you and eventually he sighs, nodding. "Right."
You look around at the restaurant surrounding you, the stained floors, the rundown kitchen appliances, the framed 'let it rip' note. "Natalie, uh she told me about him—Micheal... I'm really sorry. He seemed like a good guy."
His eyes follow yours to the note, and he doesn't say anything for a minute, which isn't unusual, Carmen has always been decently shy since you met him, but it makes you wonder if it was a mistake bringing it up.
Strangely enough, this is the first time that someone's brought up Michael and he hasn't wanted to slam a door in their face. Normally, he would just nod and say something like, 'yeah, he was a good guy' and that would be his way of wiggling out of another unwelcome conversation, but he doesn't. Instead, he stares at the note and wonders for the first time since Micheal died if he should have gone to the funeral.
It made him feel like a fucking asshole for not going, but he couldn't listen to all those people saying how good it was to have him back—how happy Micheal would have been to have him back—because if Micheal hadn't gone and killed himself, he wouldn't be here anyhow. He'd still be in New York. He'd still be angry at Micheal like he is now.
Carmen sighs. "I—I wish that I had talked to him more instead of just fucking off to New York. Because after that I just hated coming back too all of this... y'know? And then it was like even when I was here, he kinda just knew that I didn't want to be here, and so we spent that time just fuckin'... at each other's throats.." He trails off, sniffing to clear the choked up feeling from his throat. "Just—who the fuck does that?"
He's asking you. Who shoots themself and doesn't even leave a note? Who shoots themself and leaves their little brother to pick up the remains of their shithole restaurant?
"Well," you begin, laughing a little at the absurdity of it all. "You're talking to a girl who decided to quit her job after three years as a private chef and is now slicing spare ribs in Chicago for just over minimum wage."
The unseriousness of the confession makes him crack a smile and now he's fighting a grin off of his face. "Yeah, that was uh..." He's still chuckling, shaking his head. "That was really stupid of you. Why would you do that?"
You're fighting a smile too now, heart pumping in your chest because he's really fucking pretty when he laughs. His cheeks are flushed and his curly hair is a disheveled mess and you just want to reach over and smooth a hand through it.
Your tongue wets your bottom lip and his blue eyes don't miss the nervous habit. "Well, there's this guy..."
"Yeah?" Carmen's smiling, the tired expression on his face softened by the twinkle in his eyes.
"Yeah, there's this guy. And I've looked up to him my entire life. He's brilliant—like really fucking brilliant. And I promised myself that if I ever got the opportunity to work for him, I would do it."
Carmen snorts softly, glancing down at the white tile floor a bit bashfully before looking back to you again. "And now you know what a freaking psycho I am, huh?"
You can see it, him retreating back into the mellow, unsure person he becomes when he's not manning an overflowing expo station, a broken freezer, and an entire staff of chefs. It's endearing how timid he is, like he almost doesn't really know himself or how he fits in anywhere outside the kitchen. "I don't think you're a psycho, Carm. I mean, I would be a little crazy too if I had what you have on my plate."
He just nods, still a little sheepish at your praise. Just like this morning, when you had caught him at the back door before opening, he doesn't know what to do with himself when you're around.
You break the silence by turning back towards your station. "I'm going to finish up here. I don't mind locking up if you don't want to stay."
Carmen watches as you lean forward onto the toes of your beat up sneakers to grab the paper towels off the overhead shelf and the hem of your hand cropped t-shirt rides up. His first instinct is to look away because the exposed flesh of your rib cage feels like something he shouldn't be seeing, much less staring at, but it's like he freezes out of panic and now he's looking at the tattoo just under your breast.
He stands there, mouth partially open to reply back to you, but it's like his tongue is numb in his mouth and he doesn't even remember what he was going to say anymore. And then it's gone, concealed again by the hem of your white t-shirt.
When you walked into the Beef two weeks ago, your tattoos had been strangely surprising to him at first. He hadn't pictured you like that in his mind—bronzed skin and tatted forearms and cherry glossed lips—just grunge enough to make anyone who passes you look twice. Now you're all he thinks about.
"Carmy. Carmy?"
You're staring at him, head cocked to the side, brows furrowed in confusion and—God, he wants to kiss you.
"Are you oka—"
"Can I kiss you?" He blurts out the question as if he won't be able to finish it if he doesn't get it all out in one breath. Like he knows that if he doesn't ask now he's never going to have the courage to do it again, and he'll be stuck shoving down these feelings for you for the rest of his life.
When you stare at him, eyes wide, like a deer in the headlights, he knows he screwed up. His stomach drops and—fuck, he really needs a Tums right now. He looks away, hand reaching to his hair, eyes darting to the ceiling because he can't take the embarrassment of looking at you.
"I—fuck, I'm sorry. That was totally—um. I shouldn't have—"
"Shut up, Carmen."
"No, that was stupid of me. I—"
"Shut up so I can kiss you, you moron."
Stepping forward, your hand curls around the back of his neck, drawing him down to close the gap between the two of you. Even then you have to stand on your toes to reach him. Although the tense, anticipatory stiffness of his body against yours is screaming wait, you press your lips to his before he has the chance to back down.
It's everything that a first kiss should be—hot and sweet and a bit awkwardly reserved. You can tell he’s nervous. Nevertheless, you can't help the hum that escapes you at the feeling of his plush bottom lip pressed between your own. If given the choice, you’d never pull away from the warm taste of his mouth.
Carmen's breathing heavy, heart pounding in his chest, hand pressing into your back, pulling you closer as he kisses you impossibly harder. He's never kissed a girl before and he decides then and there that he never wants to kiss any girl that's not you.
It’s not clear which of you pulls away first—coming up for air more than anything—but it leaves you both nose to nose, mouths still inches from each other, still sharing the same air that you would had your mouths been connected.
“Carmen?” you ask softly, nose brushing his as you speak. You can feel his heart beating against his chest.
“Yeah?” he replies in same breathy tone.
“Did I mention I really like it here?”
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celerydays · 4 months
Note
Hi! I have been following you for some time and I notice you draw more and more Sebastian and Ominis doing stuff that makes me... uncomfortable.....
Sebastian and Ominis are best friends, why people are obsessed with drawing them into weird gay stuff? Seriously.... Why can't be friends.... without all Sebinis... Just stop it...
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Normally I would delete messages or simply ignore the things that make me feel uncomfortable–
But, you're on anon and this is my ask inbox, so I can only assume you want an actual, public response. So alright. Fine.
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Like I said: normally I would just remove odd, uncomfortable, or even outright rude messages without making a whole thing of it. I curate my own online experience and I try my best to live by that rule.
However, I've now gotten multiple unsolicited DMs over the course of a couple of months expressing the exact same sentiment (and nearly word-for-word as this ask, so I highly suspect I already know who you are). I have duly ignored or glossed over them hoping that the person/people would take the hint to simply stop engaging with the same message over and over again. But an anon ask is my last straw, I guess.
So if you are the same person as in my DMs, I'm finally giving you a response (and if you're not the same person – which I highly doubt – then I'm speaking to both of you).
Firstly, I want to say that I am sorry that your worldview is so limited that this is your stance and feelings on gay/queer ship content for Sebastian and Ominis.
Next, I ask that you please:
Don't make your homophobia anyone else's issue but your own. Don't come into DMs/ask inboxes/comments to make your discomfort with the content I create my problem. I don't know what you hoped to accomplish by sending this message but it's unlikely that you'll find the same feelings or sympathy from the person who is actively creating queer/sebinis content.
Curate your own online experience. Once again, do not make your content consumption anyone else's problem but your own. The "unfollow" button is there. Tumblr has a tag filtering system and I try to tag my art and content as accurately as possible. If you do not like something/it makes you uncomfortable, then do not continue to consume it. And if you still decide to stick around for whatever reason, then please keep your thoughts/opinions on this matter to yourself because I can promise that I don't actually care why you would continue to be here and looking at my art if it makes you unhappy.
Widen your worldview and try to reframe your perspective. Consider that Sebastian x Ominis is just as canon as Sebastian x f!MC or Ominis x f!MC. As much as we like to ship our various MCs with the canon characters, MC never actually amounts to canonically being confirmed as anything but being just friends with everyone. Using the "they are just best friends" / "why can't they just be portrayed only as friends" could literally be applied to just about any other non-canon/non-confirmed ship between friends regardless of gender. If even one of them, Ominis or Sebastian, was portrayed as cis female in canon, I would suspect that you would better "understand" why a ship between these two "friends" may exist. Then also consider a cis male MC; it's possible you may suddenly reframe all the interactions between Ominis x m!MC or Sebastian x m!MC in your head to be "totally platonic/friendly". Your issue is certainly not with their canon relationship vs. fandom portrayal (but I think we both know that).
Educate yourself. Go outside and meet and talk to people, I dunno. It is 2024 my dude. I don't even know how you're on Tumblr – the most queer-friendly social media site – with those kind of narrowed views and stigma.
I would like to finish by saying: I don't wish you the best. What I do wish is for you to learn, grow, and be better than this.
And also please stop sending me messages of this nature, because the next ask or DM I get like this, we're moving on to blocking at this point. And if your purpose was to get me to stop, I can tell you that these messages have only fueled the explicit sebinis smut maker in me. 😤
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writinghotchner · 3 months
Text
pairing: aaron hotchner x reader (no pronouns used for reader) rating: E tags/warnings: mention of headache/migraine, no mention of "y/n"
i've decided to start a little "migraine series". you can read the first one here. (or on ao3)
it'd been a long grueling day at work. everything started out fine until you started to get the flicker of a headache in the front of your skull. you downed a bottle of water and even had a shot of espresso just in case it could've been dehydration or caffeine withdrawal. of course you knew it wasn't either of those things - if anything it was wishful thinking. a migraine was lurking around the corner, and you were praying to every god you could think of to not let it hit you at work.
thankfully your boss let you off early, because right as you were pulling into the parking lot of the apartment complex, the headache started to worsen. you could feel it in your top back teeth, the aching throb that you knew was going to eventually take over your entire body.
you shuffled your way into the apartment and was immediately greeted by the loud tv in the living room where aaron was perched on the couch. hearing the door click closed, aaron turned to look back to see your very unhappy face. he huffed out a sympathetic laugh, his lips immediately falling into a pout at the sight of you.
you make your way over to him, and drop into his body. you sit in his lap and bury you face in his neck, and in return he circles his arms around you and hugs you to him.
"what's wrong?" he asks, his voice soft and soothing.
"headache."
"i'm sorry." he checks your forehead with his cheek to make sure it's not a fever. he knows its not, but it's something he has to do every time you get a migraine. just in case.
"is it getting worse?"
the throb that was sitting in the top of your mouth has now moved to your eyeballs, and the tops of your cheeks are starting to hurt now too. you shake your head 'yes' and will every single tear that's gathering behind your closed eyes to stay inside.
he uses one of his hands to comb through your hair and lightly massages your scalp with his fingertips. he runs his fingers down to the base of your skull and applies pressure there. you let out a pitiful moan and he halts his movements. the hot tears that you were trying to cage behind your eyelids slip out, leaking onto his bare neck.
"oh, honey," aaron says sympathetically. he hates seeing you like this, hates it even more that this is something you have to go through at all.
he sits up a little bit and taps your thigh. "c'mon, put your legs around me, i'll carry you to bed."
you don't even argue, which is how he also knows this one is getting bad.
you falter a little, but you manage to shift in his lap and circle your legs around his hips. he stands and with ease, carries you into the bedroom and softly sits you down on the end of the bed.
"do you want help changing clothes?" he asks, squatting in front of you, his forearms bracketing your thighs and his hands holding your hips as he sneaks his thumbs underneath your shirt to rub soothing circles on your skin.
you close your eyes and hum a response, too tired to open your mouth to form actual words. you hear him stand and move away from you as slowly lay yourself down on the mattress.
after a few moments, he returns with a pair of your favorite soft sweatpants and a loose fitting long sleeved shirt.
he unbuttons your pants and slowly peels them off your legs, replacing them with the sweatpants. "i need your hands, i have to sit you up so i can take your shirt off."
your face crumples at the thought of having to sit up. the feeling of gravity working against your brain is never fun, and you know it's going to make the thud echoing in your skull even louder.
"i know, honey, i'll be quick, i promise."
you lift both of you arms up enough to where he can grab your wrists and slowly sits you up. you immediately slump into his stomach with a groan. he works quickly, pulling your shirt off over your head and before you know it, he's manhandling you to your side of the bed and flipping the covers over top of you.
the pain has settled in the entire dome of your skull now. the aching and throbbing is now pulsing entirely through out your skin and bones to the point where the back of your neck is starting to hurt.
you suck in a deep breathe, once again willing away tears, but also just trying to breathe through the anger of having to deal with this so often these days.
you hear aaron rustling beside you. your nightstand drawer is open and he's digging around for something which makes you want to clench your teeth until they break.
"okay," he says quietly, squatting next to you. he runs a big hand over the crown of your head and down your hair a few times. "migraine pills and the eye mask are right beside you on the nightstand. i'll pull the black out curtains closed on my way out and bring you some water, and then i'll be back shortly to check on you."
you crack an eye open at him and he smiles at you. "if you need me before then-"
"you spoil me." you tell him, your voice muffled by the blanket that you've pulled up to your face.
"in other cases, maybe. in this case, i'm just taking care of you." he leans down to kiss your temple and then he's off, leaving you in a cocoon of pain, comfort and love.
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obsessedwrhys · 19 days
Text
Aesthete
(adj.) Someone with a deep sensitivity to the beauty of art or nature
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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ where Abby let's you draw a portrait of her
c/w: fluff, reader is female because I refuse to believe she's straight 😡, abby being insecure (?), gun talk, some cursing, just two lesbos bickering like a married couple, kissing, did not proof read this!!
ᯓ★
Inside your shared room, you somehow found yourself painting on another canvas after just telling yourself you'd be done with your last one. Since you were a kid, you've always been drawn towards anything that had to do with brushes and colours. It was better spending your time painting rather than talking to people, they were always rude or just straight off insensitive. All except for someone...
Abby...
She always adored your skills. Everytime you were assigned to go on patrols together, she would just peek her head from behind your shoulder to see what you were doodling in your journal. Out of everyone you knew, she was the one constantly bragging about your drawings to her friends. And you guys aren't even dating!!
Yet... which you always liked to tell yourself.
With your brush applying another soft stroke on the canvas, you started to grow bored of it, another idea already crawling up from the back of your mind. Maybe you could try doing a portrait, you have the experience but you just don't have the subject. Almost out of instinct, you knew who to find. Pretty much the only person you'd figure would be fine with this.
Abandoning your brush and pallette on the round chair, you decided to leave and try to find Abby. It wasn't hard to find her since she would spend almost all of her time in the gym. Swinging open the glass door, you headed in and walked past several other WLFs who were also training, your eyes glued to one person.
There she was, doing bench presses as usual.
You decided to stop a few feet away from where she was, almost like you were in a trance from watching her biceps flex each time she lifted the heavy weight. Not wanting to be seen as a creep, which you already have, you walked closer to make your presence known. "Hey Abby" You said with a smile. Your voice startling her a bit.
"Oh, hey" She said before setting the weight back to its rightful place. She sits up on the bench as she looks at you with a friendly smile. "You need anything?" She said, always kind and polite towards you that it somehow made you feel all giddy inside.
"I was wondering if you'd liked to be the subject of a portrait I'm doing" You said and your words struck her a bit. She looked like she just received news of something big. "Uhh... if you're worried about the portrait turning out ugly, I promise I'll be extra focused on the details" You said, figuring if that was the reason behind her reaction.
"Huh? Ah no, I wasn't worried about that. I'm just surprised you'd pick me" She chuckles awkwardly as she stands up, her height scaring you a bit. "Did you expect me to pick someone else?" You asked, the two of you walking side by side.
"Well... maybe I figured you'd choose someone more... elegant" She said, holding the door open for you to go first. "Elegant?" You scoff out of amusement.
"Didn't you show me one of your books? Where all of the people drawn were wearing those tight dresses and having their hair up so high" Abby said, recalling the memory.
"Pssh, that's different, trust me, I know what I'm doing" You opened the door to your room, inviting her inside.
"Whatever you say" She responded with a playful smile. Once you closed the door, her eyes were already examining around the room that's messy from all of your art stuff.
"Seems like you didn't take my advice" She said, looking at the stack of books you had thrown along with the pile of discontinued drawings.
"I'll do that later" You said dismissively since you realised everytime you cleaned your supplies, you were always gonna use it and make a mess anyways, best to save it for a day where you have the energy to clean.
"Soo uhh... what do I...?" Abby walks over to where you're busy setting a brand new canvas.
"You can just sit at the sofa so you can be right in front of me" You said, putting everything in place and she just does what you instructed. She finds herself seated in front of you and it somehow made her shy. Does she pose or...? This is all new to her.
"You can move your body around a bit, just try not to move your head a lot, so uh... relax" You said, already picking up your brush. "Got it" She said as she leans back onto the cushion.
With your focus on the portrait, you failed to notice the way she was watching you, her gaze was full of warmth and admiration. She was eyeing your every move as if she was watching a film.
"I never got to ask, how did you learn to paint?" Abby said and it made you stop in your act to think it over. "Can't remember exactly when, I just knew it was fun to do so I kept doing it" You simply responded and she smiles softly at your answer. "Fun huh? Is that why you're doing a portrait of me?" She said and her playful tone made you almost freeze in place.
"I guess you could say that" You said, your hand carefully doing the shades of her face. The room remained quiet for a moment, just faint sounds of your brush mixing together different colours on your pallete. "Can you lift your head up a bit?" You asked and she does just that. "Perfect" You said and quickly press your brush back on the canvas.
Your eagerness had her struggle to contain a smile. "If only you were this passionate about your gun training" She said since this was a topic that you could care less about.
"I don’t really like guns, it's too violent for me"
"True... but its also the reason why you're still alive. C'mon, at least fix your aim" She said which had you turn to look at her.
"Whats wrong with my aim?"
"Errr..." She trails off, struggling to find the right words but you were well aware of what she was trying to say. "Just try not to have your bullets flying everywhere" She said, her response having you raise an eyebrow at her.
"... don't make me draw a hairy moustache on you" You threatened which had her laugh.
"Am I supposed to find that scary?" She asked to which you pointed the end of your paintbrush at her to warn her to be careful of her next words. This action just encouraging her even more but for her sake of not wanting a horrendous looking moustache on her portrait, she'll stop.
After a while, she let's out a soft sigh. "Getting tired?" You asked, your face hidden by the canvas so she couldn't see you.
"A bit" She admitted with an embarrassed chuckle. Your head peaks from the side of canvas, trying to mimic the sweat that was still present on her forehead due to her earlier workout.
Without even realising, you were basically staring at her face a little too hard. It was funnier from Abby's perspective cause all she could see was your pair of eyes staring at her so intensely. "Am I too far away? You're looking pretty hard" She joked, pointing out how your brows were slightly narrowed.
You ended up shushing her which she found amusing. "I'm thinking, don't disrupt my thoughts" You said.
"Yes ma'am"
After a couple of minutes, you managed to finish the portrait, just a few details here and there then you were finally satisfied with yourself. "You can get up now" You said as you carefully added some tiny dots or lines. Abby pushed herself off the sofa and stood beside you.
"Damn" She said, blown away by the portrait you had done of her. It was like a reflection in a mirror. "What are you gonna do with it?" Abby asked as you stepped back to finally admire your work. "I don't know... maybe I'll hang it up somewhere in my room" You said. This caught her interest almost immediately. "You want a portrait of me in your room?" She asked, seeming embarrassed.
"Well do you want it in your room?" You asked which made her go silent.
"It's fine, I really don't mind, you'd be surprised by how many scary things I've painted and displayed on my walls" You said, carefully picking up the canvas and moving it to the other side of the room. Abby simply follows you with her arms folded.
"Comparing my face to scary things doesn't make it sound any better" She said and you could sense a tiny hint of frustration in her tone which had you chuckle to yourself. "Stop being a baby and help me hang this up" You said after finding a open spot on the wall to put it.
"You.are.unbelievable" She shakes her head slightly with a defeated smile as she takes the canvas from your hand before standing on the chair to hang it on to the nail.
Once she was done, she stepped down from the chair to stand beside you. The two of you now staring at the portrait.
"I have to admit, you're really gifted" Abby said and it made you turn your head to look at her. "Thanks" You smiled at her compliment. The second she turns to look at you, you felt yourself melt at her stare as if her blue eyes were hypnotising you. You swore for a second you could see hearts popping up around her.
Why is she looking at you like that?
Like you're the single most beautiful thing she has ever seen
"If you uh don't mind... could I stay for a while?" She asked, her voice so soft it was intoxicating.
"Sure" You blurted out without even thinking twice.
Noticing how flustered you looked, Abby tilts her head with a grin. "You okay?" She asked but her tone was anything but concern, it was like she was teasing you, knowing the effect she had on you.
"Yeahh, I'm good" You turned around and began walking back to your supplies, feeling as though you needed to escape her presence quickly to be able to think straight.
"Are you sure? Cause you looked like you wanted to kiss me just now" She said and it stopped you from reaching out to your brushes. Your mind was short circuiting.
Fuck this woman...
"And what if I said I wanted to?" You managed to say since it was easier that you weren't looking at her.
Suddenly you could hear her footsteps approaching you from behind, almost like each step she took added a weight in your chest. The tension on you shoulders relaxed the moment you felt her hands placed on them, gently, she turned you around to have you face her.
"Then kiss me" She said, no, pleaded. Her face showing how much she also wanted this.
You leaned in closer to her, the two of you haven't even kissed yet but just from the feeling of your chests pressed together made you both breathless. Eventually you pressed your lips on hers, taking it slow as you wanted to savour this moment, but it didn't last long as the desperation started to grew.
Within seconds, you were kissing Abby hard and she did the same, her hand wrapped around the back of your neck while the other is placed on your hip. The kiss was messy. Your hands grabbing at whatever you could on her body as you were completely lost in the taste of her.
Your touch was driving her crazy as well, thinking back to the countless nights of how she much she wanted this. To have you this close, to have you melt just from her lips. Out of breath and feeling tired, you pulled away but Abby didn't let you and quickly pulled you back in for another kiss. Her action causing you to yelp and for a sec she felt her stomach flip. She chuckles.
"So pretty" She muttered before pressing her lips back on yours again and again, not wanting the moment to end.
"Abby..." You laid your hands on her arms and she pulled back to admire you. The mess she had made of you.
"Yes...?" She said, gently caressing your face.
"You keep kissing me and I'm gonna pass out" You said and your words had her chuckle softly.
"Sorry, can't help it when your lips are so sweet" She said, her thumb rubbing on your cheek affectionately.
"Did you think this would happen when you asked me to come over?" She asks.
"Ummm... maybe?" You said. You had a feeling something might happen but you never thought it'd turn out like this.
"I've just liked you for a very long time but I wasn't sure you felt the same" You confessed and her smile grew wider.
"Seriously? What, was me bragging about you to everyone not obvious enough? Should I have been starting a fan club for you so you'd find out better?" She teased and you smacked her on the shoulder playfully.
"Maybe you should, then I'd know that you actually liked me" She sighs, pretending to act like she's regretting this missed opportunity.
"You're right. Maybe if I did start a massive fan club dedicated to you, we would of had this kiss sooner" She said, leaning in closer to have her forehead rested on yours.
"Well we're here now aren't we?" You looked up at her, a smirk on your face.
"True" She then started to move and you couldn't help but let your eyes flutter close, waiting for her to kiss you again but somehow the feeling of her lips on yours never came.
You opened your eyes and found her actually moving her lips inches away from your ears instead. "How about we clean your room now, hm?" She said which had you in disbelief. She was now reminding you of how dirty your room is after just kissing you.
"If tidying up my things is so much fun then sure" You moved away from her but she was quick to follow you.
"If I get to spend more time with you, I don't see anything boring about it" Abby said, already on to arrange your stack of unorganised books. You watch her with a look of gratitude, knowing this mess is gonna take a very long time to clean.
"Thanks Abs"
"You can thank me with a kiss after we're done" She shoot you a cheeky smile which had you roll your eyes with the corner of your lips curving upwards.
"Fine" You stood beside her to help with putting your books in order. Seeing how focused you were, Abby couldn't help but have her hip nudging yours on purpose to get your attention. You chuckle, knowing this cleaning session is gonna take a while.
(Now I'm gonna do super duper angst Ellie, this plot has been stuck on my mind 😄)
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fullmoonandstar · 3 months
Text
Nine Days in Hell
Chapter 2: The Lure
Raphael x afab!Tav Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3 Rating: R Word count: 1.4 k Cw: second-person perspective, sex acts mentioned (including hand on throat) Summary: Haarlep's frequent use of your form leaves you pent-up and frustrated, but Raphael offers a solution AN: you're welcome Part 1
You sat up straight, and your head whipped around to see bare chested Raphael in his human guise, a towel wrapped around his hips, closing the curtain behind him. A curse may have left your lips. 
You hated how charming his smile was. Even though you knew what he was, a part of you had a strange fascination with him. Today, however, his smile had a hint of annoyance to it, as if he didn't like being stood up. The devil was not happy that you had let him wait. Good.
"What do you want?" you asked coolly. "Actually, I don't care. Go bother someone else."
"My, my, aren't you ever the feisty little mouse," he purred. 
Raphael walked to the basin, turning his back to you and setting the towel aside before grabbing the ladle. 
"I'm just here to spend a refreshing evening at the bathhouse with an old friend," he said, meeting your gaze over his shoulder. You tried to look away, but the curves of his behind and broad back drew your eyes anyway. He dumped water on his shoulder, letting it run down his back, and your eyes followed. Even in his human form, his skin had a red tint to it that seemed unnatural. Raphael ached his back leisurely and a moan escaped his lips. You thanked the gods for the fact that he didn’t see your face when you heard his voice make such a scandalous noise, and prayed he had no way of knowing how pent-up you were. If anyone were to touch you in the right places, you would come undone in a heartbeat. After his lewd display, Raphael placed the ladle back in the basin and turned around. You averted your eyes. 
"Come now, pet, what's the matter with the false modesty?" he mocked.
The water rippled as he joined you in the pool and sat down next to you. It was true that you had indulged Haarlep at the House of Hope, but you only remembered fragments, glimpses of ridged red skin, wings and horns and unparalleled ecstasy. Seeing them in their glamour and seeing Raphael were two different things. 
"I just don’t care for unsolicited dick."
He laughed. 
"What do you want, Raphael?" you asked again, getting annoyed with his antics real fast, and looked at him, making a point of only looking at his face. He did not return then favour.
 His brown eyes racked over your body, and you felt exposed under his gaze and fighting the urge to cross your arms over your chest. You had seldom experienced feelings of inadequacy, but in upon your return to the city and your constant state of arousal, you had noticed the way others looked at you. The ladies of the city were all slander arms and legs, unblemished skin and graceful movements. You had been a soldier, a paladin, for the better part of the last decade and none of those applied to you. Your life had left scars on your body and face, your arms and legs were built to swing swords, hold shields and jump over charms. You had strength, but certainly not grace. And it all didn’t matter because Raphael was not here for any of that, he wanted something from you. 
"I already told you, soaking with good company." 
He smiled and said: "What better way to spend an evening than in the company of my most esteemed client. I always liked you, you know." 
"I stole the hammer from under you, and almost beat you to death."
"Yes, I remember. Why did you spare me?" 
His smile was pleasant, but the question was pointed. 
"Cut the bullshit." you snarled. "I know you're up to something. You always are. So, say your piece or fuck off. "
His eyes glittered with some emotion that you could not quite place. 
"Straight to the point as always," he said. 
"Fine, I'm here to make a deal."
You rolled your eyes. 
"I didn’t make a deal with you when the world almost ended, what makes you think I will now?"
"Because you won’t be able to say no." The smile on his handsome face got a cruel edge to it. 
"You should count yourself lucky I didn’t kill you when I had the chance, and I’m beginning to regret it," you snapped. 
"Get out of here. Leave." you waved in the direction of the door and added: "And tell that brazen Incubus of yours to stop using my form. What are they even doing?! Are they in a challenge to fuck all the nine hells!?"
A dangerous sparkle ignited in his eyes. You had said something that played into his cards. 
"That’s what incubi do, sweets. They are such greedy creatures, taking everything they can get their hands on, but don’t worry, there is a solution to your … situation." 
"If you think I’ll sell my soul in exchange for the incubus to stop, you are wrong."
"I would never ask such a thing," he exclaimed in fake exasperation, but then he leaned in so close you could smell his obnoxious perfume and purred: "But maybe we can come to an understanding."
You knew this was a manipulation, but If there was any way to end this, you should at least hear him. You were so tired, so emotionally drained, so desperate with a thirst you didn’t know how to quench, that you swallowed his bait, hook and all. 
"What do you suggest?"
"Give me a month." His voice quivered with excitement, and in his eyes burnt a dark fire.
"A month of what?"
"Of You."
That did not clear up your question. What did he want from you?
"A month of me?" 
A month could be ages in the hells, and your gut told you that there was more to this than he had said so far. He was so close, and you failed to will your body into not reacting. A drop of water ran down from his hair along the side of his face, guiding your eyes to his delicate neck, broad shoulders and firm, round chest. You balled your hands into fists to keep them from creeping up to feel the hard muscles burn under your palms. All of this was a ruse, even his handsome face was a trap. He already knew that you had a weak spot for him, and you wouldn’t let yourself be exploited like this. 
"No," you said finally. An amused smile bloomed on his face, as if this was a joke you had shared before.
"You drive a hard bargain, as always, but maybe I can convince you yet. It would be sad to see you suffer so deliciously without any purpose." 
He leaned back, giving you a bit more space, and you took a deep breath to calm the stirring in your stomach. Raphael waved his hand and a bunch of paper pieces appeared in it. 
"Maybe you need a bit of inspiration, as to what this month could entail. "
He held the papers out for you. The top most page was a sketch, and you needed a moment to decipher the lines, but then it was like a punch in the gut.
The sketch was a top view of a devil, presumably Raphael in his true form. He was on all fours, his wings were half open, as if to shield for the outside. He was on top of someone, but their face was obscured by his massive body, only the small hands that clutched helplessly at his back and their point of contact was visible. His powerful, thick thighs spread their legs open, and he was buried deep in the folds. You could almost feel the movement, the hard thrusts bringing you closer to a release. 
With shaking hands, you took the sketches from his grasp and looked at the next one. 
This one showed, in first-person perspective, Raphael’s head between the legs of a woman. His big, clawed hands held her legs open and his tongue was working her bead. His eyes burned into you with such intensity, it made you shiver. This would be the view you would have if he ever was to do that with you. 
In the next one, Raphael sat against a wall, his wings relaxed as he looked seeming into the face of the person on his lap. Only the woman's back was visible as she sat on his lap like on a throne, his hands almost encircling her hips completely and supporting her movement.
The last sketch made you yelp. 
The woman was lying on her front and Raphael was on top of her, entering from behind, pressing her body into the mattress. Her face was contorted in a mask of pain and pleasure, with his hand securely around her neck. Around your neck. 
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iravinirattu · 9 months
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ik im late but im playing through kaveh's hangout event and. the haikaveh brainrot is real
since these losers can't do it themselves i am here to offer my translation services ‼️
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al haitham you liar. we are in a library using our indoor voices you did NOT hear us.
and even if you did mr. "i hate small talk" why'd u walk over hmm?? hmm??
"dont mind if i ignore you, i've got my earphones in" <- applies to everyone except kaveh
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"okay now that i've gotten him distracted tell me what's wrong so i can discreetly fix it"
mans literally sent kaveh away to boost his confidence a bit + find out if he was okay.
"you annoted those books with such long and beautiful notes that eveyone hated lolol anyways check out those shelfs where there's a book with someone appreciating ur notes"
i can't get over how many exceptions al haitham makes for kaveh. he's not heartless and cruel in the way i often see him portrayed... but at the same time his entire demeanor is "i respect you as a person but won't go out of my way to do things for you unless it benefits me"
like he's one of the only characters who isn't super super close with the traveler, at least that's how i see it in the voicelines! he respects them as a friend, would consider doing things for them if they asked, but that's about it really!
but KAVEH. for someone who enjoys a peaceful life and has such a rational and efficient way of working it theoretically makes no sense for him to do all the things he does for kaveh.
like sure "maybe the cheering up kaveh is just to avoid having to deal with him drunk later", but that's too roundabout of a demeanor to be al haitham's style. plus, if he really didn't want to deal with a drunk kaveh, he could just kick him out.
but he doesn't because he cares, and kaveh does not understand that because he has created a vision of what he thinks al haitham is in his head, and in that vision he, kaveh, has no value so why would haitham have him around?? clearly he's got ulterior motives.
and they won't move further until kaveh lets go of that vision, and he can only do that if he truly realises his own worth, and until then haitham's gonna have to keep pushing him towards that from the shadows.
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"he overworks himself, it's not healthy. he forgets the practicality of his ideals when he starts something, thinking he can pull through it, but reality hits him halfway. he can keep his ideals, that's fine, but i wish he was a bit more realistic about them."
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"and despite all of the above, despite wanting to uphold his artistic integrity, he still puts everyone's needs before his own."
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"his approach is too contradictory, and hence people don't see his talent. there are those who's resolve is so brash they are seen as confident and unshakable; and yet he who is more talented than them all falls behind because he's so easy to take advantage of."
al haitham taught me two new words today lol
irascible - someone with a quick temper
paragon - something viewed as a standard
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"if he wants things to change he needs to find a balance between compromise and resolve. there is no way to please everyone, but instead of accepting this, he thinks he can nullify it if he takes all the burden instead."
kaveh's altruism stems from his own self-hatred, moreso than his desire to help others. and while doing a good deed puts a smile on his face, the melancholy guilt that trips him when he doesn't is far greater.
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"if they are his ideals then i have no right to say anything about them. but he hurts himself so much as a result of that and i wish he would love himself a bit more."
al haitham has a great deal of respect for kaveh, not just as a scholar but as a person. and it's hard watching someone like that dig their own grave, and there's nothing you can do but wait in the sidelines, because they won't believe anything you say.
al haitham is constantly bickering with kaveh to get him to feel a little, challenge his ideals, find a way to make them work without sacrificing himself in return.
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"at this poing talking to him is no use, he's convinced himself that his life only has purpose if it's in the hands of others. all people face hardships in life, but he seems to believe he deserves all he gets and more"
and then after kaveh is back he gives him space to talk about things that make him happy, and more importantly, appreciate himself.
how to tell kaveh i want to listen to his silly lil rants without sounding like a sap - al haitham's brain, probably
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al haitham knowing all of kaveh's little buttons, and pressing the right ones after determining his mood, so he can show kaveh he loves him but still sound like a bitch.
"you did so well. i am so proud, and i hope you are proud of yourself too."
and sometimes he does click the wrong one, but then immediately goes back on it, becomes soft(er than usual), offers reassurance, changes the topic, and so on
we saw this in the parade of providence event, when kaveh got legitimately upset at one of haitham's remarks and he immediately went into I HAVE UPSET MY BF recovery mode.
and what i love the most in all this is KAVEH'S DUMBASS IS SO OBLIVIOUS TO THIS LMAOOO
but also it's sad because the reason he's oblivious is because he doesn't think he's worth being cared for like that.
haikaveh's whole vibe is "i love you, but i'd much rather you love yourself first" and "i'm your one and only, your only exception, the one you'd break all your rules for" and i love it.
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