#being like im here to fight >:[

[haunted-xander]

For what do you live?

#meant to post this a lot earlier but it just didnt... feel right? #and now im like fuck it. woe sciosn be upone ye #i was originally gonna have banana(wol) here too but then the amount of panels would be uneven >:( #so i removed her (im srry bby i love u i prommy </3) #anyway. i love them and seeing them fight for their right to exist in ew despite several of then having had #issues and doubts and all that in regards to their own lives and well-being hit me hard #i mean several of them are implied to not mind dying/not caring about surviving and at least one of them is/was explicitly suicidal! #and yet!!!!!! #OUGH #thancred waters #y'shtola rhul #urianger augurelt #alphinaud leveilleur #alisaie leveilleur #g'raha tia #tataru taru #krile mayer baldesion #estinien varlineau #estinien wyrmblood #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art

[inkskinned]

one of the things that i think we should pay attention to, socially, about the disney v. desantis thing is that it is really highlighting the importance of remembering nuance.

in a purely neutral sense, if you engage in something problematic, that does not mean you are necessarily agreeing with what makes it problematic. and i am worried that we have become... so afraid of any form of nuance.

disney isn't my friend, they're a corporate monopoly that bastardized copyright laws for their own benefit, ruin the environment, and abuse their workers (... and many other things). this isn't a hypothetical for me - i grew up in florida. i also worked for the actual Walt Disney World; like, in the parks. i am keenly aware of the ways they hurt people, because they hurt me. i fully believe that part of the reason florida is so conservative is because it's been an "open secret" for years now that disney lobbies the government to keep minimum wage down, and i know they worked hard to keep the parks unmasked and open during the worst parts of Covid. they purposefully keep their employees in poverty. they are in part responsible for the way the floridian government works.

desantis is still, by a margin that is frankly daunting, way worse. the alternative here isn't just "republicans win", it's actual fascism.

in a case like this, where the alternative is to allow actual fascism into united states legislation - where, if desantis wins, there are huge and legal ramifications - it's tempting to minimize the harm disney is also doing, because... well, it's not fascism. but disney isn't the good guy, either, which means republicans are having a field day asking activists oh, so you think their treatment of their employees is okay?

we have been trained there is a right answer. you're right! you're in the good group, and you're winning at having an opinion.

except i have the Internet Prophecy that in 2-3 months, even left-wing people will be ripping apart activists for having "taken disney's side". aren't i an anti-capitalist? aren't i pro-union? aren't i one of the good ones? removed from context and nuance (that in this particular situation i am forced to side with disney, until an other option reveals itself), my act of being like "i hope they have goofy rip his throat out onstage, shaking his lifeless body like a dog toy" - how quickly does that seem like i actually do support disney?

and what about you! at home, reading this. are you experiencing the Thought Crime of... actually liking some of the things disney has made? your memories of days at the parks, or of good movies, or of your favorite show growing up. maybe you are also evil, if you ever enjoyed anything, ever, at all.

to some degree, the binary idealization/vilification of individual motive and meaning already exists in the desantis case. i have seen people saying not to go to the disney pride events because they're cash grabs (they are). i've seen people saying you have to go because they're a way to protest. there isn't a lot of internet understanding of nuance. instead it's just "good show of support" or "evil bootlicking."

this binary understanding is how you can become radicalized. when we fear nuance and disorder, we're allowing ourselves the safety of assuming that the world must exist in binary - good or bad, problematic or "not" problematic. and unfortunately, bigots want you to see the world in this binary ideal. they want you to get mad at me because "disney is taking a risk for our community but you won't sing their praises" and they want me to get mad at you for not respecting the legit personal trauma that disney forced me through.

in a grander scheme outside of disney: what happens is a horrific splintering within activist groups. we bicker with each other about minimal-harm minimal-impact ideologies, like which depiction of bisexuality is the most-true. we gratuitously analyze the personal lives of activists for any sign they might be "problematic". we get spooked because someone was in a dog collar at pride. we wring our hands about setting an empty shopping mall on fire. we tell each other what words we may identify ourselves by. we get fuckin steven universe disk horse when in reality it is a waste of our collective time.

the bigots want you to spend all your time focusing on how pristine and pretty you and your interests are. they want us at each other's throats instead of hand in hand. they want to say see? nothing is ever fucking good enough for these people.

and they want their followers to think in binary as well - a binary that's much easier to follow. see, in our spaces, we attack each other over "proper" behavior. but in bigoted groups? they attack outwards. they have someone they hate, and it is us. they hate you, specifically, and you are why they have problems - not the other people in their group. and that's a part of how they fucking keep winning.

some of the things that are beloved to you have a backbone in something terrible. the music industry is a wasteland. the publishing industry is a bastion of white supremacy. video games run off of unpaid labor and abuse.

the point of activism was always to bring to light that abuse and try to stop it from happening, not to condemn those who engage in the content that comes from those industries. "there is no ethical consumption under late capitalism" also applies to media. your childhood (and maybe current!) love of the little mermaid isn't something you should now flinch from, worried you'll be a "disney adult". wanting the music industry to change for the better does not require that you reject all popular music until that change occurs. you can acknowledge the harm something might cause - and celebrate the love that it has brought into your life.

we must detach an acknowledgment of nuance from a sense of shame and disgust. we must. punishing individual people for their harmless passions is not doing good work. encouraging more thoughtful, empathetic consumption does not mean people should feel ashamed of their basic human capacities and desires. it should never have even been about the individual when the corporation is so obviously the actual evil. this sense that we must live in shame and dread of our personal nuances - it just makes people bitter and hopeless. do you have any idea how scared i am to post this? to just acknowledge the idea of nuance? that i might like something nuanced, and engage in it joyfully? and, at the same time, that i'm brutally aware of the harm that they're doing?

"so what do i do?" ... well, often there isn't a right answer. i mean in this case, i hope mickey chops off ron's head and then does a little giggle. but truth be told, often our opinions on nuanced subjects will differ. you might be able to engage in things that i can't because the nuance doesn't sit right with me. i might think taylor swift is a great performer and a lot of fun, and you might be like "raquel, the jet fuel emissions". we are both correct; neither of us have any actual sway in this. and i think it's important to remember that - the actual scope of individual responsibility. like, i also love going to the parks. Thunder Mountain is so fun. you (just a person) are not responsible for the harm that Disney (the billion dollar corporation) caused me. i don't know. i think it's possible to both enjoy your memories and interrogate the current state of their employment policies.

there is no right way to interrogate or engage with nuance - i just hope you embrace it readily.

#does this make sense #to do be deleted probably yikes #(takes a swing at a wasp's nest) #like i think ppl have started to just be really quiet when they like something 'problematic' #and im like... u can be like - #girl tswift NEEDS to just TAKE A BUS . LIKE????????????????????? #while also being like. #''she's a lot of fun'' #if ur personal policy is that u don't support her for that reason that's great #but it's like. eating meat??? #like yeah some people won't bc the environment. but the fact i eat meat doesn't mean i hate the earth #like i can say that i think the meat industry is HORRIFIC and also downright cruel to its employees #but like. still enjoy a chicken nugget.... #there are people who choose otherwise. it's okay . we are people. i make like no money. u probably don't either #us fighting about whether or not it's Right To Eat The Chicken Tender just distracts from like. #actually turning your ire on the corporation #i hope it's clear what i'm saying here is like. when we fight each other for Purity Reasons #we are just doing the work of corporations . for free. like they WANT us to be doing this lol #it's the fucking DREAM of the upperclass that now ALL forms of responsibility fall on the individual

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

happy mother's day lmfao

bonus (the girls are fightiiing):

#and thus eddie caused a category 5 neighborhood disaster bc he tried to flirt via sandwich questions #which is a totally valid way to flirt. Totally. #what's more romantic than being able to bring people their favorite sandwiches without having to ask #idk im not a romantic. almost wrote tomantic. i dont like tomatoes either #welcome home #scribble salad #welcome home fanart #welcome home puppet show #in all honesty during last night's festive breakdown i had the doodled Thought above #and scribbled it in my phone notes #it feels good to not only have an Idea but to also Get It Out #yaknow? i dont get that often #brain usually has half a thought then fizzles out and decides to go lay down for a full week #also here's a niche concept that is incredibly funny to me: #a neighbor swearing and wally immediately being like NO!!! THE RATINGS!!!! #he has to snipe them before they can get the full word out. how sad :'{ #alsoX2 special thanks to these doodles for keeping me awake #i had decided not to sleep when i drew this and i can't fall asleep before ten otherwise ill wake up 4 hours later wide awake #with no hope of getting back to sleep #and another s/o to barnaby for being incredibly pleasant to draw. he does not fight me like the others do

[pbnmj]

i deserve a spider-woman nepal..... miles doesn't have to be the only teen spider with a terrible bisexual mentor (enter my own sketches of the world's most annoying spiderperson, who i fling towards pavitr, complete with a design that's subject to change)

#geeta methodically puts on all her jewelery before going out as spiderwoman <3 u cant fight crime if u are not cute #spidersona #of sorts? i think but everyone should have expected this from me. there was no way sony was going to give me spiderman india #and not receive spiderwoman nepal (THE KATHMANHATTAN JOKE IS TOO EASY) in response #im tackling south asian unity one spidersona at a time! #pavitr prabhakar #spiderman #my art #also ofc one specific mention to demigod-of-the-agni who inadvertently triggered my actual posting of geeta #who was just supposed to stay in my psd files forever..... #mythic mumbattan au my beloved. hindu mythology my beloved. genuinely so so cool to see and it enabled me being self indulgent on this blog #for some extra context: im very much still workshopping her and me and my nepali friend were drawing her tgt #as in she would say something and i would hurriedly scribble/sketch it down #and then i kept kinda building on it. ofc i could not resist being inspired by the comics noirverse #so here she's also gifted her powers by a goddess (durga!!!!!) and almost works w her like a much less deranged moon knight. yeah... #don't look too closely at these pls . the design/sketching/etc is kind of everywhere #edit: forgot to adjust colors so theyre up again and a little more vibrant nyeow....

[writer-room]

One among many things I love about Dragons Risings writing is that they're so unapologetic about making the original team very cool, but also absolute dorks.

It's just kinda refreshing to me? Like, yeah, sure, Lloyd's the super-awesome Green Ninja who's a descendant of God, Kai could set the world on fire if he wanted, Nya does not hesitate and was the ocean that one time, Zane will casually mention the most insane shit he did on a whim, Cole has a lava and rock monster form, etc, but like...they're also losers. Lloyd gets bullied constantly and tries to explain what a crab is, Kai has so much intelligence but so little wisdom at all given times, Nya has a 'shit happens' attitude as if she is not actively failing through this shit happening, Zane talks to a broom with Pixal's face on it, and Cole has it together the most by being a 9-to-5 dad with a boyfriend who he 100% believed was his power crux.

They're just people, y'know? Saving the world a hundred times over doesn't mean they're not still 20-something nerds who've been stuck doing this since they were teenagers. One cannot erase the time they had bad boy doppelgangers for like two minutes. Or had to raise their teacher. Or had the weirdest relationship drama. Or were huge video game and tech geeks.

And Dragons Rising isn't afraid to let them be that. To acknowledge, yeah, objectively, they're cool as hell, but to also admit that they're just kinda fucking around and finding out. It's a wonder what consistent and likeable characterization can do, who woulda thought?

#ninjago #dragons rising #ninjago dragons rising #lego ninjago #lego ninjago dragons rising #ninjago dr #lloyd garmadon #ninjago kai #ninjago nya #ninjago zane #ninjago cole #text post #talk #ninjago writing #im so excited for when we get to see jay again and see how he looks cool but also like an absolute loser #the idea of something being cool AND silly is possible and its right here in dragons rising i love it so much #its mostly the animation where they flex and i do love that #theyre not afraid to show that these guys are like. experienced. they know what therye doing. they can fight really well. theyre GOOD #but also kai accidentally blows up the wrong building cause he let wyldfyre have a map #and nya is like well that stone seeker thing gave us eyes. im sure its fine #and they ask zane 'are those tubes safe for humans' and he just deadpans 'no' with no further elaboration #cole confused at all times abt whatevers happening but nodding and going along with it anyway #and lloyd just being lloyd. bestie no u cannot clean the whole monastary. wu made the boys clean the monastery all the time #he just didnt make you do it cause your his favorite #ITS JUST RLLY FUN #I MISS WHEN THINGS WERE FUN

[oifaaa]

In your au where Jason is dead for like 20 years does he come back the same age he died or is he also a grownup now because I think it would be really funny if he was the youngest physically. Imagine Damian being like “ah yes I can relate I also tried to kill bruce when I was your age” and Jason having to explain why it’s different and cooler when it’s Jason doing it

Yeah he's coming back the same age that he died bc you know can't really grow if your died so he'd be 15 when he wakes up in his grave still and about 16 when he's thrown in the pit kinda tempted to have him just go straight to gotham as a 16 year old just to make the age gap even more prevalent bc yeah damian would be 26

#ask #anon #doing math for another au funnnn #but yeah just hilarious to think about angry teen jason #being like im here to fight >:[ #and all the middle aged bats being like #boy we are old and over all this nonsense #please stop antagonising our elderly father #his hearts gonna give out

[roychewtoy]

when kendall never really got out of the lake and has just been sinking his way through the rest of the story. and shiv never sees past the slant of light to see the knife coming until its sticking out of her and she can brandish it back, clutching bloody and desperate. and roman doesn't fold and crawl back to logan cause he never truly left the cage. and connor always returns to the doghouse in the desert, dried up out of sight

#that shiv gifset comparing the slant of light moment to the nearest ep is making me go crazy everytime i see it #i know they are all fighting dogs and im only really clanging that against connor and roman here #but theres just something about The structure of like. the cage and connors place in the desert #being actual physical things and.. kendalls water being this endless like sinking feeling #and shiv is just ...............fuck....................... #mentally i am pacing round the roys over and over and over and tht feels very ✅️on the money #🔄🔄🔄😐😐🔄🔄😐😐🔄😐🔄😐🫂😐🔄😐🫂🫂😐🫂😐🔄😐😐😐😐🫂😐🫂😐🫂😐🔄🔄🔄🔄🫂🫂🔄🫂🔄🫂🔄🔄🔄🔄🔄 #anyway heres how shiv violence can win #succession #chewtoy

[hanzajesthanza]

andrzej sapkowski in the witcher presents his reader with many curious and refreshing takes on the fantasy genre, such as "what if dragons were good" and "what if elves were incels"

#i joke it's more like what if the ethereal being had angsty mournful man feelings #that he has feelings but can't work through them because #overemotionality is considered base and human so he's basically been bottling all of this for centuries #the elbow-high diaries #plus that his only purpose was really to be with lara and now she's gone and so what does that make him #i'm not getting all MRA lmaoooo what i'm saying is that there needs to be two to make a baby so he was one-half of that #and destiny didn't work out as planned so ... this is all that's left #reading ch 5 of lotl for the first time: THIS IS SO MESSED UP WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO CIRI!!! #reading ch 5 of lotl again and again: my god EVERYONE here is so messed up and SAD. well except eredin #eredin is like cool im gonna go fight a unicorn #'what are you talking about he wanted to kill auberon?' but not in a very intelligent way he was like to ciri 'so you wanna... kill him?' #imo book eredin is kind of a meathead and it's kind of refreshing with all these 4D chess players around

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ive come to realise that i dont actually hate kubokai, i just hate the way people write them

#sorry i read like two cute in character kubokai fics and im enjoying it now #theyre cute and im a closeted shun kinnie so. obviously i will ship him with my crush from the show. #i just really really REALLY hate the super cliche seme uke dynamic people usually give them #those people have NEVER watched the show.. my boy shun is NOT like that #its sooo stereotypical and they obviously give shun the role of 'the girl' in the relationship which is. um. ew #'shun is so fragile and innocent and uwu and he needs big strong aren around at all times to coddle him' #'and aren has a soft spot for shun and shun only and only shun can stop him from being totally murderous and dumb' #do yall know that one scene from the kissing booth #where elle is like 'NOAH! LOOK AT ME! THIS ISNT YOU! LOOK AT ME' when hes about to beat the shit outta his brother #thats how kubokai gets written usually #'aren pwease nevew fight again🥺pwease? fow me?' #me reading anything kaido says in most fics: HE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT #sorry #people can write whatever they want its just. so ooc. #canon them is soooo bromance core #im sorry idk why im posting negative shit again when i like JUST said i wasnt going to do this anymore LMAO #not a callout post about anyone on here obvi- actually reading more recent fics from people on here is whats gotten me more into them #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #kuboyasu aren #kaido shun #kubokai #meows post

[lover-of-mine]

not sure if my ask sent BUT I’m loving people being vocal about the fandom not caring about eddie outside of buddie. it’s been happening since the dawn of time (lol) and there’s a reason so many vocalists about eddie decided to be loud and obnoxious about it (including yours truly). his journey is nuanced and he’s such a good character to explore a straight-maybe to bucksexual love with but it will take TIME for anything to happen because of that journey. still. you said eddie rights and i love that.

This is the only ask I got from you, so it probably got lost in the blue void if you sent something else. But absolutely, something I noticed during the hiatus, because while I have been lurking around the fandom since season 5, I only really started to actively post thoughts and stuff after the lightning, so I spent a really long time observing people even more when I started posting random metas, or just thoughts, people have this almost pathological need to make everything about Eddie about Buck. I legit remember making a post about Shannon and blocking several people because they kept making what happened with Shannon about Buck, and that's not it. Eddie is a FASCINATING character. He is so nuanced. And he is so well written and acted out. Like, I was casual about the show until fear-o-phobia (tbf that was the 3rd episode I watched live but still). Eddie grabbed me by the throat that day. And there's so much that people give Buck a pass that they would NEVER give to Eddie. And there's so much to explore with him. And yeah, I think his queer journey will involve Buck somehow, but because I truly believe that man is demi and I don't care about anything else. Making him have a complicated relationship with attraction as a whole is so much more interesting than saying he's just looking for a beard his whole life. And the amount of people I saw picking fights about people not shipping Buck and Tommy because "they have this need that Eddie should be the only man for Buck" (when literally everyone in the fandom hc Buck 1.0 as having slept with guys too) that are people I had seen saying that Eddie only ever loved Buck, straight up erasing the whole concept that he might've been in love with his wife is wild. If Eddie is not adding something to Buck and this idea that Buck is this baby that needs to be protected and can do no wrong, then he is being unnecessary or ooc or just plain weird and THAT'S WILD. Sure Buck and Eddie have a compelling relationship, and I LOVE exploring the possibilities around how much Eddie loves Buck, but Eddie exists for more than loving Buck and both of them exist outside of each other. Honestly, right now, Eddie needs some defenders because it's rough out here. If people can pick fights about Buck the way they do, Imma do the same about Eddie. If people don't agree then that's their problem.

#i am picking my battles tho #i got a few takes that got me so heated i decided it was best not to go there #but honestly #eddie exists outside of buddie and IM TIRED OF PEOPLE IGNORING THAT FOR THE SAKE OF GOING ALL #Oh BuT pOoR bAbY BuCk 🥺 #because these people are also doing a disservice to Buck because they are erasing half of what makes Buck interesting #and i couple months ago i reached the conclusion that i down owe anyone access to me or my content #and i dont have to try to be diplomatic when people are being vile about Eddie #im ready to pick the fight if i have to #if you dont like it go away #i was fully expecting that to go south fast but i am finding more reasonable people so that's good #and i completely derailed here #Eddie Diaz Defense Squad #911 #i really need a tag for asks #thisissirius

[sock-tin]

OK SO context i have a hc that when shadow knights turn into their true form their hair also gets dramatically longer (i also like to think they look physically more monstrous BUT THATS FOR LATER CONTENT) so when laurance comes back from the nether his hair is super long and gets cadenza to trim it instead of cutting it super short and dyeing it :> so HERES MY GUY TRYING DIFF HAIRSTYLES WHILE RECOVERING!!!

#IGNORE THE STARK DIFFERENCE OF QUALITY I WAS AWAY FOR ABIT AND DID THE FIRST BIT ON IPAD #but yeah heres my boy tryin diff hairstyles while recovering GOD i would have wanted his recovery period to be way longer than it was #like give me laurance discovering himself after being tortured for 6 months straight #where are my training moments with garroth and laurance with gar reteaching laur how to fight after being wrecked by traveling dimensions #also my lore knowledge and hcs may be inaccurate im still rewatching the series so uhm BIG OOPS IF ANYTHING IVE PUT HERE IS INACCURATE #aphmau #minecraft diaries

[waterfallofspace]

don't know how to format this post so welcome to waterfall is craving things and she doesn't know if it's more h-rny or lonely so enjoy a little snippet of what is playing on loop in my mind~

Person A: tshhieew!

Person B: Bless you, poor little thing~

Person A: I'm- eshh'iew! tschh- kngt'shhew! I'm not little!

Person B: Even if you aren't, your sneezes sure are~

Person A, blushing: No they're- eh'tnshiew! aeshh'iee!

Person B, with a smirk: What a poor, sneezy little thing~

#waterfallsnzarios #waterfalltalks #i guess??? idk man waterfallcraves is more accurate #just B taunting them and A being such a little blushy mess by the end #knowing that they ARE little but even if they arent! the sneezes are! they cant fight that! #not like they can fight being little either buutttt~ ;3 #yes im picturing c/huuya but gotta be honest not seeing d/azai as the other #perhaps in a private little bedroom... away from prying eyes and ears... #or perhaps this is just something I crave okay i just- lil with lil snz auhegughguh #im a sucker for a kitten snz and i am! feeling things so welcome to this randomness that does NOT have a point~ #(and yes okay maybe id like to be on either side of this BUT! shut up! i do not!) #(using this as a blog again- starting to get more and more used the idea that like... maybe i DO want attention???) #(always knew i craved attention but like.... always used to it being the kind of attention that i GIVE to others and maybe i get something) #(but not used to like... actual genuine attention thats just for me and that isnt kinda... idk- you give me things? so i give bak?) #(gonna be so honest!! i do not feel cute! most of the time! and usually thats okay! i like being a lil chaos gremlin :3) #(buuuuuut recently been having more friends call me cute and idk!!! maybe its not the worst thing to get to be a lil soft sometimes~) #(ANYWAYS blog post over im so sorry to anyone who read these tagssssss but here is a lil snzario that hopefully makes up for it!!)

[inkskinned]

it is hard to explain without sounding vain or stupid - but the more attractive others find you, the more you're allowed to do. the easier your life is.

i have been on both sides of this. i am queer and cuban. i grew up poor. for a long time i didn't know "how" to dress - and i still don't. i make my sister pick out any important outfits. i have adhd in spades: i was never "cool and quiet", i was the weird kid who didn't understand how "normal" people behave. i was bullied so hard that the "social outcasts" wouldn't even talk to me.

i got my teeth straightened. i cut my hair and learned how to style it. i got into makeup. it didn't matter, at first, if i actually liked what i was doing - it mattered how people responded to it. like a magic trick; the right dress and winged eyeliner and suddenly i was no longer too weird for all of it. i could wear the ugly pokemon shirt and it was just "ironic" or a "cute interest."

when i am seen as pretty, people listen. they laugh at my jokes. they allow me to be weird and a little spacey. i can trust that if i need something, people will generally help me. privilege suddenly rushes in: pretty does buy things. pretty people get treated more gently.

i am the same ugly little girl, is the thing. still odd. still not-quite-fitting-in. still scrambling. still angry and afraid and full of bad things. of course it became my obsession. of course i stopped eating. i had seen, in real time, the exact way it could change my life - simply always be perfect, and things can be easy. people will "overlook" all the other things. i used to have panic attacks at the idea others would see me without makeup - what would they think? even for a simple friend hangout, i'd spend a few hours getting ready. after all, it seemed so obvious to me: these people liked me because i was pretty.

i worry about how much i'm being a bad activist: i understand that "pretty" is determined by white, het, cis, able-bodied hegemonies. if i was really an ally, wouldn't i rally against all of this? recently there's been a "clean girl" trend which copies latinx aesthetics: dark slicked-back hair, hoop earrings. i almost never wear my hair like that; i can hear the middle school guidance counsellor advising me that i might fare better if i toned it down on the culture.

the problem is that i can take pretty on and off. that i have seen how different my life is on a day where i try and a day where i don't. i told my therapist i want to believe the difference is confidence, but it's not. and when you have seen it, you can't unsee it. it lives inside your brain. it rots there; taunting. i get rewarded for following the rules. i am punished for breaking them. end of story.

pretty people can get what they want. pretty people can feel confident without others asking where they got their nerve from. pretty people can be weird and different. pretty people get to have emotions; it's different when they get aggressive, it's pretty when they cry with frustration.

of course people care about this. of course it has crawled into you. of course you want to be seen as attractive. it's not vanity: it's self-preservation.

#pretty in this post is a stand in for . literally all forms of normativity #warm up #tbd maybe idk #ps! hi!! i'm queer!!!!!!!!! it is how i identify! if you tag this 'q slur' i will fight you!!! #i am using it here in the EXACT way it is NOT a slur !! i am identifying as a queer person! #this is EXACTLY how people reclaim it !!! #it's like practically ACADEMIC in this usage!! #please do any reading into what the fuck the history of the word ''queer'' is before telling me #as someone identifying as queer #that i'm a slur. that the place i find comfort in is a slur #''well it makes me uncomfortable if people use it for me'' #im sorry to hear that dude. that sucks. i hope things get easier for you soon #but you don't get to take it from ME #in case you can't tell by the REST of this piece #i DID hear queer used as slur against me. i DID get bullied with it. i DID hear a lot of shit said #i also heard it about lesbians #about ''being gay'' #about pretty much any fucking term that could describe me. #i like queer. i like how it feels. and it's mine. #you don't get to undo the work i've done personally because it makes u uncomfortable #it's ahistoric to pretend like there are ''safe'' ways to identitfy if ur queer. #none exist. it has never been safe to be like this.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I have the smallest crumb of a theory. But what if howdy is mean to Latter because he’s self-conscious of being the only caterpillar (and repressed) and takes it out on his brother as a consequence. Because social expectations at the time gave him an excuse to do so?

no. ok. hoo boy. Allow Me To Be Insane Over The Most Prominent Thought I've Had Since Seeing The Update (about howdy)

i will try to be as eloquent and articulate as possible. ahem:

THAT FRUITY ASS CATERPILLAR IS REPRESSED AS FUCK, ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? DID YOU SEE THAT SHIT?? MY GOD. HOMEBOY HAS ISSUES STACKED ON ISSUES. GET HIM SOME THERAPY.

ok. ok ok ok. Now allow me to be articulate and eloquent

so obviously Howdy is almost certainly queer in the men-loving flavor. if i'm wrong about this my confidence will never recover. But I'm Willing To Take That Chance. so he's definitely queer, right? his.. well his everything points to it, but the final nail in the coffin are his rainbow suspenders from the group Homewarming artwork from Eddie's prolonged breakdown.

but this update i think showed us deeper into that part of him. and i take the shipping goggles off for genuine analysis, so when i say this i believe that there is Serious Evidence and seems Genuinely Plausible - if Howdy doesn't have feelings for Barnaby, i'll eat my cat.

the above is important to say because it Directly ties in to how Howdy treats Latter AND Eddie.

so. Howdy is likely gay or bi, what have you. i'm guessing gay. he obviously has feelings for Barnaby. SO WHAT I'M SAYING IS that i don't think Howdy treats Latter the way he does because of the caterpillar thing, I think Howdy treats Latter the way he does because Latter is genuine and Howdy is not.

what does this have to do with Eddie? well. look at Latter and Eddie in relation to each other. they're both... how do i say... Open. and not - not effeminate, but yes, for lack of of a better word, effeminate. just enough to make one go "huh." and Howdy treats them the same way - dismissive, apathetic, one could even say avoidant.

i wouldn't be shocked if Howdy picked up on their queerness (and if Latter isn't queer, his comfort with himself / his behavior & interests) and is on the defensive about it - likely subconsciously.

and with Latter specifically. Howdy could have also picked up on the way his other family members treat him if they're all also dismissive - as Seeya seems to be as well. i mean, it fits right in line with the time period! homophobia - internalized in Howdy's case (again, most likely). the blatant favoritism, the dismissive nature, it all adds up. even if no one outright knows, that subconscious recognition (or outright suspicion!) will do this

i mean, Latter makes me think of two things. 1) being the only queer kid in a family (especially large). 2) being a middle child. there was a third but i forgor. it felt important! it's gone now! anyway it's also Super telling comparing how Howdy treats Latter (emotional, earnest, open) to how he treats Beeya (oozing stereotypical masculinity)

tl;dr so i don't think it's really "expectations giving Howdy an excuse" as it is "subconscious / internalized homophobia causes Howdy to act the way he does"

as always, take all this with a Hefty grain of salt!

#i really dont think it's conscious behavior! not at the source anyway! #howdy Has to be soooooo so so deep in denial. he's gotta have five layers of repression there's no other explanation #howdy 'ill keep all of my feelings right here and then one day ill die' pillar #homebogging #wh speculation #welcome home speculation #it Would be the funniest outcome #if he really is like. deeply in love with barn but doesn't even realize it himself despite like. how goddamn obvious it is #ALL THE SIGNS POINT TO HIM BEING REPRESSED AND INTERNALIZED TO HIGH HELL AND BACK. #and being a caterpillar is like. symbolic to being open and accepting of yourself #< now im probably reaching However. The Symbolism Is There. intentionally or no #hence why barn is a caterpillar while everyone else is a butterfly #(hiya is on thin ice since her ref shows her as a caterpillar but the hullabaloo record art gives her wings) #latter is true to himself and open / out : butterfly #howdy is so deep in the closet that he's fighting wars for a lion : caterpillar #anyway so howdy. why do latter and eddie make you so defensive howdy #hm. hm. hm. #OH! AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN HOW HE ACTS AROUND FRANK YET! ohhhh that would be fascinating... #just One direct interaction between them could be So telling

[ride-a-dromedary]

I personally think a nice way to give us more chances to talk to Halsin in Act 3 is giving us the option to ask him for a new story from his 350 years of life, and we get a new tidbit of information that changes based on how high his approval is, or whether or not he's being romanced. If the approval is low, he shares little or refuses. I want a chance to hear about how much he studies, meditates, and hibernates and not just the salacious parts!

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #halsin is very clear that he's lived a while and feels a lot older than he is #i want to hear more about high forest and the emerald grove #i want a way for him to tell me things about himself that don't involve me having to have a rendezvous that casually brings up a bad memory #yknow? #karlach asking him for stories and him immediately being like 'no one really cares about those they're only really interested in escapades' #and wyll being like 'do you actually do anything besides meditate council fight train and make love?' and halsin just nonchalantly #'is such an existence lacking?' i know thats supposed to be funny #but he sounds so put upon by it #like okay and..? #maybe im just a sap but i want to hear more general stuff #if that writer on twitter is serious about taking suggestions heres one #also this isn't an invite to bash on act 3 halsin - most of the companions are dead air after you do their quest #this is an encompassing larian issue all around where the companions sort of all fall flat midway through act 3 #but that's another point entirely

[writer-room]

Ahsoka is probably the person everyone means when they say “I know a guy”. Girl knows a bunch of senators, some ragtag rebels, many criminals, a handful of Imperialists, and a couple other random people dotted across the galaxy. If you ever need to find someone, you just call Ahsoka. Chances are high that she knows exactly who they are. Chances are even higher that she knows someone else who knows them. She runs around enough that it’s not that hard for her to just ram into them. Her one exception is Ezra Bridger, because apparently knowing a guy personally means it’s impossible to find him for over a decade.

#star wars #sw #ahsoka tano #ezra bridger #talk #funny #text post #i know a guy #ideas #headcanons #star wars rebels #bail organa is fighting her for title of 'guy who knows a guy' #unfortunately he loses because the imperialists he knows are ones he could not call up and bully on main #would darth vader try to kill ahsoka? probably. but its less likely than bail #also ahsoka knows like 30 more clones than bail does even if like 25 of them are dead #look point is she knows a LOT of clones and thus ANY clone found wandering around would probably know who she is. shes their padawan vod #i was gonna say 'somehow ahsoka doesnt personally know any of the main group from the original trilogy not counting the droids' #but i was wrong i forgot she met chewbacca that time they were being hunted for sport #im sure nobody else knows about that time chewy was hunted for sport so i just really hope he meets ahsoka so han can be told and go insane #and then theres ezra over here. who is one of the people she talks to and likes and unfortunately here you cannot call ahsoka #because she DOES know the guy. however she cannot tell you where when or how he is