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#bringing them into the new year with me i guess
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happy gojo fluff friday i guess. gojo x f!reader. established relationship, self indulgent crafting fluff, reader is teaches the second years. | divider by cafekitsune, wc 1.4k, reading time 5 mins 17 seconds
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“I used to make these all the time, remember?”
Sitting with your legs tucked beneath you in your living room, you hold up a bundle of braided twine bracelets, a rainbow of colors with assorted charms attached to them. Little plastic seashells on the blue one, flowers dotting the green one.
Satoru remembers, he still has the one you made him in your first year. It feels like a lifetime ago that six teenagers had vaguely matching mementos they wore showing their unity as a group, yourself and your fellow first years Nanami and Haibara and of course himself and his friends. 
“Blue seems cliche,” you opined at the time with a raised brow, a pink cheeked seventeen year old Gojo staring back at you anxiously. His crush had bloomed by then although you pretended to be oblivious to it. “How about pink instead?”
He has never been able to tell you no so he nodded, keeping his mouth screwed shut while you worked. Pink he received, so bright it almost hurt his eyes to wear it back then. You attached a little smiley face charm right in the middle, affixing it around his wrist. He wore it every day until it began to unravel, safely kept in a small lockbox in the back of his closet.
The same box that contains most of the memories you’ve given him, the photos, the cards, the trinkets, and the ones the two of you have yet to make including that pesky engagement ring he can never seem to figure out the right time to give you.
“I might take it to school with me tomorrow just to see what the kids think.”
Two big hands make their way to your bent thighs and you smile, still digging through the box in your lap. Beads, closures, all the stuff you used to pride yourself on keeping tidy and neat. You glance up at him, that same smile on your face.
“Let me make you a new one since I have all this stuff out.”
You dig through the box for a minute more, squinting and making a show of exaggeratedly humming. Leaning in toward him, you hold colored embroidery floss up to his face to compare it to the shades of his eyes, the unforgettable feature that they are. One bundle of floss is too green, the other is too yellow. 
“What do you think the kids will say?” He asks, watching each of your movements raptly. Your tongue pokes out of the corner of your mouth when you concentrate, an adorable habit you’ve maintained in all of the years he’s known you, and you sit back on your haunches for a moment, hands on your thighs. 
Yet another adorable habit.  
He reaches to grab your arm, gently rubbing his thumb along the inside of it. You smile at the touch and ponder what your students will truly think if you bring this to them. It’s a bit of a dated hobby compared to the luxury of choice teenagers have now and you laugh to yourself, shaking your head.
“Well, Maki will probably say you’re rubbing off on me since I don’t bother to teach anymore and call it stupid to my face.” Satoru chuckles, watching through his lashes while you spring back into action, reaching behind you to grab a few more bundles of blue. “Inumaki will probably spell something inappropriate in English if I bring the letter beads. Panda will ask me to make each of them a matching bracelet because he’s sweet and will request that I make one for Yuuta to have when he gets back, too.”
Looking at the latest bounty recovered from the little tackle box that stores the trinkets required for this, you gasp. Cerulean with a deep blue sparkle woven through the strands. 
I’ll save this for something special some day, you told yourself more than a decade ago, spending your student stipend in some fancy embroidery shop in Nippori. Yen exchanged for fancy thread, dotted with glitter or metallic coating. You had no idea. Maybe you even bought it back then hoping a day where you’d be able to compare it to Satoru’s eyes would arrive, subconsciously laying the tracks for your own future.
“It’s a perfect match.”
The grin on your face is mirrored by your love who reaches around your body to grab from the twine selection himself. A handful of colors that match your eyes sit across his large palm and he glances down at the collection, mimicking your previous attempts to find something that screamed “him”.
“What are you doing?” The question is a half joke but you let him hum to himself, raising one bundle and then another to compare them. “Well, I didn’t make you one back then because I thought I was too cool,” he blinks at you, making you giggle. “I was right, of course, but there’s no time like the present, right?”
Nodding your agreement, you remove the paper from around the twine and shake it out. You’ll need some coordinating colors so you dig back through the bundles in front of you, sticking them against his face again. 
“I still have the one you made me, by the way.”
Scoffing, you roll your eyes and use your index finger to poke around in the bead compartment, searching for the perfect one for your newest creation.
“Don’t lie, I can always tell.” Satoru grabs your hand delicately although your fingers are still holding various crafting supplies and raises it to his lips, gently kissing your wrist. You are very attentive to the little things about him and likely noticed when he finally stopped wearing it, several years after it was first made. “I’m not lying. I had to stop wearing it because it was unweaving and I didn’t want to lose it forever.”
You feel guilty for the accusation and lean in toward him, kissing the tip of his nose, claiming your hand back from his grasp to begin braiding twine together into a pattern.
“I can always re-make it if you’d rather have a pink one,” you offer, braiding together various shades of blue in your lap without looking down. “I can wear this one.”
Smiling softly, he looks at you, then the bundle of your eye colored twine in his own hand.
“You wear the blue one and I’ll make one that matches you to wear myself, how about that?”
Nodding, you let the conversation fall quiet while he unbundles his own selections, fingers deftly separating and joining three strands, just the way you tried to teach him years ago when you assumed he didn’t care. He has always paid far more attention to you than you’ve realized and you’ve given him a lot to study over the last ten or so years.
“I think you should leave this at home,” he admits. It’s selfish but he doesn’t want to see you share this precious memory with your students who may not even appreciate it. He wants to sit cross legged on the living floor with you, making little friendship bracelets that will eventually unravel or fade or snap, for the rest of his life. He wants to make them for your children someday, matching bracelets with mom and dad. He wants to keep this, to keep you, all to himself.
“Okay. It’s probably for the best anyway, I don’t need to give them one more thing to give me shit about.”
Satoru leans toward you and kisses your forehead right as you’re finishing the blue bracelet. He looks down, tying and knotting it around your wrist, remembering when you did the same for him so long ago. 
“Looks good.” His words catch your eye and you smile up at him, looking between his eyes and the bracelet wrapped around your wrist. It is an uncanny match and you’re proud of your own eye for color though your pride is stopped in its tracks when he sticks out his wrist, bracelet pinched between two of his fingers and dangling from his hand. “Would you mind?”
You do as he did for you, as you’ve done for him before, with softness in your eyes it would be impossible to hide. 
“Not bad,” you compliment and he shrugs with a chuckle. “Obviously. I even think mine is the better of the two.”
Letting your hand rest in his lap, next to his, the hastily made bracelets sit one next to the other on each of your bodies. His eyes follow yours and he weaves your fingers together, thumb gently rubbing the thickest part of your palm.
It’ll always be the two of you, a perfectly matched set, no matter what.
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carigm · 2 days
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A BREAKDOWN OF THE POTENTIAL S5 EPISODE TITLES!!
Okay, so today entertainment journalist Jeff Sneider shared some alleged insider info about S5 of ST, mainly directors and titles of the first 6 episodes.
Here’s a screenshot
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It’s important to keep in mind that this guy isn’t always the most reliable, and considering he also said he believes S5 could come out before the end of this year, let’s not take any of this too seriously. (Many cast members have mentioned they’re filming until December of this year so that’s literally impossible). The information about the possible directors I believe is correct, because it’s been circulating around from other sources too.
The episode titles I’m less convinced about because it’s also possible the Duffers could’ve put out fake episode titles in case they leaked. I remember for S2 all the episodes titles they announced were changed later on lol. But for the sake of fun, here’s an analysis of all of them:
1. The crawl (only confirmed title) is a very broad, open title. It personally makes me think of the UD and vines, or maybe even the idea of Vecna crawling back to life. Could also be an allusion to the military.
2. The Vanishing of ___ Wheeler is arguably the most insane one. The journalist said he wasn’t revealing the actual name of the person because it’s a spoiler ofc. My gut tells me it’s gonna be Holly, mainly because of the recast and her supposedly being involved in the hospital plot, which we have guessed takes place in episode 2. Could explain why she’s suddenly “more important” this season, especially if she’s used as a plot device of sorts. Could also tie into what Ted’s actor said in a podcast back in February about the first episodes being a rollercoaster of emotions, and that comment he made about Ted having a soft spot for Holly. It would be a perfect tie in for Karen to find out about the UD as well. The implications of naming the episode the same as the first episode, which is so intrinsically tied to Will, is very interesting. It’s also a new connection/tie between the Byers/Wheelers that I assume will bring the families closer together. I don’t think it’s about Mike because I doubt he’ll go missing in ep.2, or be dragged to the UD just like Will was. It would be an interesting concept but I doubt it. I also don’t think Nancy’s gonna go missing. Karen could be interesting but I doubt it as well. Ted would be an incredibly funny choice. Imagine he just goes missing while at the house 😭 Nonetheless, I think Holly is the clear choice here, and I do very much worry for her if she goes missing. Mainly because while Will survived this, I’m not sure they’ll do the same for Holly :(
It also ties into Vecna’s threat to Nancy against her and her family.
Here’s an interesting leak from the same anon that leaked the hospital stuff (which seems to be correct)
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I think this could be the very same scene Holly goes missing.
3. Turbow Trap 😭 This one is utter nonsense. I have no idea what a Turbow is, so I assume it’s gonna be a code or nickname for something. Absolutely clueless here.
4. Sorcerer is incredibly interesting, and imo a clear allusion to Will. His D&D character being a cleric, basically a wizard. Could also be a reference to Vecna imo. Or both 😉
5. Shock Jock is clearly tied to the radio station plotline. Imo the title could be a reference to Steve, Jonathan, or even Murray (he fits that eccentric, somewhat annoying personality quite well) In case you guys don’t know a shock jock is like a very eccentric radio host.
6. Escape from Camazotz is another crazy title. He’s a figure from Mayan mythology who’s a bat spirit. That immediately makes me think of Eddie, but also Steve ofc. However, camazotz has a larger meaning that goes beyond “bat spirit”, it’s also a representation of death and night. So the title seems to be alluding to someone escaping from death or a perilous situation.
Even more interesting perhaps is that kamazotz is a name of a planet in A Wrinkle Time. It’s the planet where IT resides, the mind controlling antagonist of the narrative. So I guess in this comparison Kamazotz is the UD, and IT is Henry.
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beatrixstonehill2 · 3 days
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"Mmmm, this is SO incredible. I wish I would've transitioned sooner. Being a femboy was fun but now I look so incredible! I'm even hornier than before, and look at these sexy little tits I've grown. My ass is getting fatter, now it's so much more satisfying to get fucked in the ass. Guys go crazy for that extra bit of cushion to pound their cocks into. And with wider hips and a bigger ass, my clothes fit so sexily now. It turned my bony little guy butt into something dudes get hard over in public. They're so much more aggressive now that I look so much more like a girl! They spank me, touch my hips, push their cocks against me. And then we might be standing on a train, or on a subway platform, and they'll put their hands down my jeans or up my skirt, and feel my tiny shrunken cock. They'll smile when they feel it and tell me what a naughty slut I am, some just call me a perverted boy, which I find really hot. Then once they find it they always spin me around and aggressively fuck my ass as a reward for being a naughty little femboy--I mean trans girl! Oops. I'm not gonna lie, though, I already told my doctor I'm bummed my cock shrank four inches. I told him I want a big fat cock that's hard to hide, but I also want bigger boobs and a fatter ass. He upped my doses, so we'll see how sexy I look in another year or two.... wish me luck! ❤️"
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"Feast your eyes on my lovely body two years after my doctor upped my hormones. Notice a couple changes? When he said I'll look just like a woman after taking these hormones for a while, he wasn't kidding! I look like a total cow who's popped out fifty kids. Almost every dude that fucks me now asks how pregnant I am, or how many kids I've pumped out. I try to show them my cock but my belly is soooo heavy it's hard for me to lift! My cock is about fourteen inches but good luck finding it buried under all that fat.
My tits a big and saggy, and my cute bubble butt is now just a pile of lard and cottage cheese. I guess this is what I get for being curious and taking hormones to look more feminine and be more appealing to fuck as a femboy. My doctor is over the moon with my transition, telling me how incredible I look. Whenever I get new sores, or complain that I can hardly get up without help, or my blood pressure is higher, he tells me how much more feminine I'm becoming, because a woman's true role is to become a stationary sex object to be acted on, or some such. I don't disagree but couldn't I be one of those girls pinned to her bed by her giant breasts or something?
I've become so fat doing basic things like bathing or going to the bathroom are becoming impossible. I moved back in with my parents, who love how my transition is going. Guess they always wanted a hugely fat daughter to tend to. Almost all I do is sit at home watching porn as I binge eat. It's not uncommon for me to be woken up by breakfast in bed, then without bathing my parents will guide me downstairs to the couch or chair. They'll bring me more food as they put on porn for me to watch. Ever since I went on all these hormones it's the only thing that can hold my attention span.... I used to jerk off a bunch, but now I groan and wince through heart palpitations and I try to lift my belly and fondle my cock. Sometimes I just push my belly down and kind of 'crush' my cock, which feels really nice.
My parents bring me more food as I make a pool of cum form under me. I'll usually just use the bathroom where I am. It's so gross but I'm getting used to sitting in my own mess for hours a day. My cute butt and tiny cock, now mounds of lard and a rock-hard monster getting caked in my own bodily fluids and excrement as I binge eat and masturbate for hours. Sometimes I eat so much I puke all over my hugely fattened body, and my parents will just smile and bring me more to eat. I guess wanting to be more fem was kind of a double edged sword. It was nice being a curvy 200-300lbs for a while, going to clubs, getting fucked every night. Though a lot of those guys joked and warned me, like a bunch of other trans girls they used to fuck, I'd wind up becoming 700+lbs in no time. I laughed and said there's no way...... I guess this is what I am now. A total pig, pushing her heart to the bursting point just to make her cock cum over and over all day..... what a perfect gooner I've become. No wonder I watch so much porn of hot girls like I used to be just calling the viewer a fat, pathetic slob."
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sxeraphfic · 3 days
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6 with Loki!! NSFW please (maybe smut? hhaha) he’s saying!!! thankss
DETECTIVE LOKI -  JEALOUSY NSFW PROMPT    
╰┈➤“It looked like he was trying to flirt with you”
Pairing: David Loki x reader 
Word count: 2232
WARNINGS: p in v sex, creampie, slight grinding, possessive sex, biting, marking, swearing, average dirty talk, spanking, palming, semi-public, loki is a little bit of a grump at the start, not super ooc i hope, both of you are a little toxic lol, fingers in mouth. Let's assume birth control is in place here. Lol. Think that's it, there might be more. 
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈  
This is actually my first ever published nsfw fic, so please go easy on me <3 Enjoy my loves!
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You and Loki had been coworkers for what felt like an eternity by now, he was a diligent person who took his occupation acutely seriously. Which is grounds for why he managed to not only get promoted up to being a sergeant of the sector you worked in, but also have exclusive access to his own private office and dictatorship over other workers' roles. Unmistakably, he is incredible as a detective and supervisor. That being said, he isn't perfect. He’s reckless, arrogant, stubborn, cocky,  antisocial, a workaholic  and breaking what would be considered a societal rule of workplaces. Don't mess around with your coworker! 
You two had been in a secret situationship for around almost a year now, casual but also intense. No-one in your work suspected a thing either, Loki was just as good at hiding things as he was at figuring them out. The thing about casual yet intense secret situationships is that how concrete the “relationship” actually is, could be considered shaky. He’s never really explicitly made it clear to even you what you both are, despite spending almost every waking hour outside of work together whether that be romantic dates, cuddling, sex etc. Did this frustrate you? Yes. You wanted him to be emotionally available and ready for you, to not have to wonder to yourself whether he even considers you an actual partner or not. You'd bring up the question and he would act so stupidly nonchalant about it or say he just wants to “let it go with the flow.”  
Does he even give a shit? You sighed to yourself staring at the timed out screen of your computer, leaning back and stretching your back and arms out. 
Before you could go back to your daydreams, or work for that matter. You heard one of your coworkers call out your name from across the room. 
“Hey! y/n! y/n! C'mere for a sec.” Your coworker Miles announced 
Your cheeks widened, Miles was a relatively new guy around your age. He was kind of childish, bright, bubbly and overall just a nice guy. You were assigned to train him and since then he's more or less stuck by your side and been a great coworker for you to do cases and research with.  
Making your way over to his desk you spotted a certain someone from the corner of your eye. Loki, walking towards another coworker's desk yet clearly distracted by whatever you were up to. He thinks he's good at having a poker face, and he is. Just not with you, that furrowed eyebrow and light frown said it all. It's mainly your fault he's on high alert right now though, a few nights ago you felt tired of feeling like you were just an undecided casual fling for him. And so you may have.. Accidentally made a point that if he doesn't make a decision on what you guys are, you'll find someone else to be the one for you.     
It pissed him off, clearly. But you assumed that you were both over that silly little argument by now since things had been relatively normal, but guesses are that wasn't the case.  You and  Miles chatted for around ten minutes or so, maybe even less. You giggled a few times here and there and even absent mindedly placed your hand on his shoulder, in the back of your head you realised how this may look to Loki and internally shuddered.
He began to stutter, “oh..oh um.. By the way y/n”  
“Yes Miles?”
“I was thinking..um.. Well if you want to at some point we would like.. Maybe hang outside of work? Go to a bar or something?” he continued on “i mean- it's fine if not but y’know.. You're so sweet and kind to me… and well, beautiful.”  
You saw from the corner of your eye Loki making his way over, oh boy.  
“We are doing work here right, the two of you?” he asked sternly. You rolled his eyes at him “Yes Loki, we are. It's just unlike you, some people have lives outside of work” Miles looked awkwardly between you and Loki, the tension in the air was insanely thick. “Yeah uh.. Sorry about that Loki. I guess I got kind of distracted since y/n is fun to talk to” he smiled before semi-flirtatiously winking at you. Loki didn't twitch a single muscle in his face, you gave Miles an awkward smile to alleviate the atmosphere. Before Loki scoffed and pointed towards your desk “y/n. Off back to your desk please. I have some paperwork I need you to fill.” and then proceeded to turn to miles ``Miles, i know you're new here but flirting and dating is strictly prohibited in the workplace. If I catch that again you will be in trouble.” You huffed and walked away, how hypocritical of him..
It was past 11 pm now, the station was practically empty besides maybe a few less than a dozen people working. Loki had so happened to ask you to stay back to “talk about documents,” but you were well aware of what the conversation was really about. You walked into his office, immediately crossing your arms together.  
“Come closer.'' He directed, pointing you to stand next to him as he sat down in his chair finishing up some paperwork. “So, wanna explain what was happening earlier? I saw that. And heard it” he continued on “It looked like he was trying to flirt with you, or maybe you were trying to flirt with him too.”
You extended your hand to his back, slowly moving up to his shoulder and beginning to massage him gently to cool him off. “Well no i wasn't flirting with him, but i didn't realise we were exclusive like that David.” he scoffed, and you huffed in return. “last time i checked our thing was barely even a thing right? Hardly even a label on it,” you began to apply more pressure to his shoulders. “Thats fucking hilarious” he asserted with an unfriendly grin, “So you want us to be an official thing and yet you accept others flirting with you right infront of me, really?” he pushed your hands off him and in response you glared at him. He continued on, “After our little argument the other day you have to have some sort of understanding on why I might be fuckin’ concerned.”
“What? I hardly accepted it..and even so you expect me to just sit around here waiting for you to be ready to label our relationship??? How about you look at the reality here David. You refuse to make the claim on me. Maybe someone like Miles would actually be able to commit and I appreciate the idea of it.” 
David looked at you with shame on his face, something strangely comforting considering the argument you were in right now and his usual stubborn self. “Look Y/N, I know.. That i'm not exactly good at this whole thing. I’m so used to being alone that the thought of giving myself fully to someone.. well.. scares me.” he placed face into his palm “I don't want to be uncommitted to you, i want you to be mine. And maybe this has made me realise that.” He wrapped his arm around your waist and guided you to sit on his lap, wheeling his chair back a little for space. “The thought of some little twerp like Miles flirting with you drives me crazy.  I know it's selfish but I want you to myself without the fear of uh.. Well, abandonment.”  
You stretched your arms around his shoulders and pressed your forehead against his “I'm not leaving you David.. You're all I want.” “So make me yours please, commit me to me..” you whispered to him softly. His breath hitched and he sighed, pressing his lips against yours before tugging at your bottom lip ever so slightly with his teeth. The pinch of it made you squeak, you reached up to his hair and tugged on it tenderly. He pushed you up against him so he could have proper access to your neck, Slowly biting and sucking it between different places to give you light bruises. You moaned, beginning to rock your hips against him to gain some pressure against your clothed pussy. The sound of him growling against your neck as he sucked on the skin vibrated right down to your core, “Fuck this feels good, David” you gasped. “God y/n i want to ravage you right now” he whispered against you before leaning into another deep kiss, you could feel his dick throbbing through his pants as you both swirled and pressed tongues together. 
You began to palm him through his pants during your kiss, stroking and feeling up the growing length. “David.. What if we get caught?” you said in between breaths. He choked out a stammered laughed in response “Fuck i don't even know if i care y/n, i need you so badly i wouldn't mind if people found out.” You giggled slightly, staring deeply into his eyes. “That's just your dick talking, but it's pretty empty in the station.. I'm sure it'll be fine.” You used that to cue him to start pulling down your pencil skirt and panties, whilst you unbuttoned his shirt and undressed his lower region halfway down to his thighs. His dick was hard and leaking with precum, his face flushed red. “You look so needy right now dave.” he sighed in response and you snickered as you began to grind your exposed wet pussy against his cock. He began rubbing his sticky hot tip up against your clit for extra stimulation and you whined, settling your head against his shoulder weakly. He furrowed his brow and showed his toothy grin “Look at you. a complete mess in my office on my lap, what happened to me being needy?”  Before you could get another rebuttal in, he moved his hands down your body to your hips and began to align your hole to his cock. As he steadily pushed into you he groaned into your neck. “Fuuuck y/n” he murmured as he began to thrust up and down, you moaned in response pulling against his hair. He swiftly spanked your ass with one hand and placed the other around the nape of your neck massaging it, enjoying the whimpers and mewls he’d pull from your lips.  
Unexpectedly the two of you heard footsteps from outside his office, both of you froze in place unsure of what to do 
“Detective Loki? Are you there? May I come in please?” a voice of one of your coworkers called from outside the door 
You expected him to stop and pull you off, but he smirked coyly and inserted three fingers into your mouth and began to slowly thrust into you again. You arched your back in response, trying to contain your moans and noises of slurping from the drool beginning to fill your mouth and dribble down your chin.  
“Uh.. yeah i'm in here, look i need some uh.. um.. space for the moment” he awkwardly yelled back out, even you could see in his eyes that his adrenaline was at a maximum right now. What on earth was he thinking? 
“Oh.. i have some pretty important paperwork man i-” David interrupted him before he could finish, “Please just leave it at your desk and i'll..” he stared at the way you were grinding up and down onto his dick, before snapping back to reality,  “...come pick it up when I'm ready.” David was struggling to contain himself. He gazed into your eyes as you swirled your tongue around his fingers pushing in and out of your mouth, simultaneously thrusting his cock slowly and deeply inside of you. The warmth and stickiness of your bodies pressed against each other made him melt back into his leather chair.
As soon as he heard the door from outside his office shut he briskly lifted you up and flipped you over onto your stomach against his desk, he leaned down pressing his chest against your back, the pressure of his weight crushing you was so intense yet felt so good. “God you're sexy y’know that?” he half whined half growled into your ear, his thrusts becoming more and more powerful. You cried out in pleasure, unable to move or escape from the position. He pulled your hair to gain access to your ear, gently nibbling on your lobe as he continued his deep and sharp thrusts. “You’re all fucking mine y/n” he groaned, “Oh god i feel like i'm gonna cum David. Please cum in me” You yelped out squirming beneath him, gripping onto the edge of his now mess of a desk. He didn't need to be told twice to do so, he buried his face into your neck before pressing a final thrust into you, loading thick streams of cum inside. You practically shrieked, it felt incredible.  
Afterwards you both just sat there together on his chair, unsure of what to do with the mess you made. But content and loving in each other's arms with him stroking his fingers through your hair.
“Bet he couldn't make you feel that good ay?” he chuckled.
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partially proof read, will come back to check on it when i wake up <3
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luthqrs · 4 months
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rizzoli & isles + textposts pt. 3
(pt 1) (pt 2)
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yoon-dowoon · 4 months
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you're my best friend for the rest of my life until the days tinge purple once again bangtan boys and their songs for armys 💜 (cr. bemyjinnie, merjy_)
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marcmorrigan · 1 year
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i finished the duel monsters dub for the first time ever last night (!!!) so i figured i oughta lock down my faces for the aibous... what a show, man
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arsonist-chicken · 5 months
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hopefully my last flatmate rant but hello this is not a drill, I got a spot in a student dormitory!! I'll know tomorrow when exactly I can move in but it will probably be very soon, and as soon as I know, I'm letting my landlord know I'm leaving and why exactly and be petty as hell on my way out and enjoy my new freedom 🥳🥳🥳
#it's a dorm by the airport so let's see if the windows there rattle like the ones in my old dorm did lol#it's a single bedroom with a shared bathroom and floor-wide shared kitchens which is not the room I was hoping for but#it's cheaper than my room now and maybe I can move to one with a kitchenette in march and until then it's fine#i've spent five years in a dormitory with shared kitchens; it's fine#let's see if 'the stench' miraculously disappears when I tell those [redacted] I'm leaving and they'll coincidentally have someone#they want to move in here. i kinda hope so just because it would mean less effort to find a new tenant for me#and my friend suggested letters to the neighbors saying goodbye and telling them who's been putting wine bottles in the plastic trash#and slamming doors at 2am#which i probably will. yeah. those two have made my life really unpleasant in just six weeks to the point I'm moving out#of an apartment I really like that's conveniently located and has a balcony. I'm gonna be petty when I leave.#mine#anywayyyyyyyyyyyyy you're all invited to my new dorm room to celebrate my new freedom#bring your own bed or sleeping bag as I am now back to a single instead of double bed; also maybe all just sit on the floor#we can stack up on the bed like pancakes I guess#hehehehe off I go hopefully very very soon to people who don't mock me daily and make me want to not go home#I technically really don't have time to move right now but oh well I'll make time#jess' flatmate rants#there'll be another one I'm sure but I can deal with anything now knowing I get to leave soon
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anaalnathrakhs · 1 month
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i keep looking at posts like "i stopped a binge" "i prevented a binge" and all of them are like. "i waited until the urge went away". buddy. the urge doesn't go away. there's no urge. there's just nothing else to do. i don't have anything else to do. every time i stop eating no matter how long i sit with the feeling or not, i always go for more food because there is genuinely nothing else in my life. nothing is enjoyable anymore. the world sucks. no matter what i force myself to do it's the only positive thing i can ever find.
#like okay cool i let the people around me guilt me into eating whatever they think i should be eating#i get it. i'm so fucking stupid for missing out opportunities to try new food. i should never buy the same food twice.#i should always buy all the variety i can and try everything.#i'm so stupid for having eaten the same stuff in a loop for years and years#i'm a massive fucking weirdo for not eating when other people are eating#i keep stealing food from my parents and the people around me i keep taking way too much of stuff intended for a group#nowhere i go will be free of obligations#i have to keep buying my own poison because everywhere i go there's other people's food waiting for me anyway#my parents keep looking at me like a freak no matter if i eat dinner with them or not#they see me binge and nothing happens#we just ignore it#i just eat until Designated Eating Time is finished#hunger doesnt ever have anything to do with it i just eat when food's in front of me#i need the ritual i need the structure it brings to my life#both meals with other people and my ritual binges#i dont know what to do with myself when i'm not binging#and it's like i'm not allowed to not want food#to other people#it's like i must necessarily want all food and anytime i refuse it's restriction#my friends are always like ooooh you can grab some of my fries if you want#or oooooh do you want the rest of my cookie#or ooooooh and how about you are you ordering something#and i'm like :) yeah sure :) like anybody else would :)#and to myself. to myself i don't know. i think i just want to give up. i want to suffer and i want to fuck up so badly.#so badly that no one can deny i need help#i want to be proven right. i'm just a little weakling and all i'm good for is to haunt the halls of a mental hospital.#no responsabilities no pressure nothing but a pitiable suffering victim#i want somebody or something to swoop in and save me#but nobody will come. it's my job to ask for reasonable help from the relevant authorities. and currently they can't offer that care.#so fuck me i guess
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It’s really hit me that before I make any big life decisions of any kind I have to heal and grow more. Like what do I want to DO or BE. I want to get better. I want to be better. (In a healing way. Perfectionism dni)
#it’s not like this is news. or anything anybody who knows me hasn’t already been saying#I’VE said it before#but it’s only very recently (this weekend lol) that there are just parts of me that need attention and healing#not to sound too pseudo-psychological current babble about it#but it’s just true!!!#I talk so much I expose so much to light and air#and there are parts of myself. things memories events that are just …. frozen#I was such an anxious kid. and I forget nothing and things play on a loop in my brain over and over and over#and there are just some areas of life … that have been just completely taken over#by anxiety and panic and fear#and they’ve stayed frozen because I won’t bring them into the light and let the sun fall on them and let them shrink to a normal size#and they hurt me!!!!!#and most of the time I just walk around (or have) like. guess I have to carry this burden with me forever#this sack of rocks around my neck#and everything that’s happened lately. the whole past year it’s just been like. but you don’t.#there are ways of getting help that work for you#because I AM a quick healer and I am resilient and I’ve grown so much in so many ways over the past 10 years. even just the last few years#and things are not insurmountable#they FEEL like it. they’ve felt like it for years#and yeah there is no perfectly healed state of being#but I can be better than this#my whole Steve harrington journey last year is actually like … so profoundly connected to and demonstrative of the way I have certain issues#especially when I was young.#like things happen. I misunderstand. I cry out in fear. I FREEZE. and then I quietly lock it away and never speak about it again#at least I did. and you know what I can’t actually work like that#I have a deep need to bring things into the light.#and I don’t even really care if I never fully heal#everyone has things they carry and scars and wounds and marks from their history#but just distinguishing between them to see which ones are permanent#and which one is just Steve harrington locked in the emotional freezer
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wongcarwhy · 7 months
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do u guys kno. just how much i screwed myself over
#BECAUSE I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE NORMAL?????#listen. listen. i could have just. asked to take two weeks off when i first got the job. but i was scared they wouldn't give me the job#if i told them right off the bat#and so i waited a decent amount of time to tell them. and then i was going to tell them. but i got scared thinking that they might fire me#or it would reflect badly on me and i haven't had the job for even 3 months yet and i have a performance review at the end of the 3 months#and the thing i am scared of most in the world is when people who are in positions of authority over me express disapproval#so i was just like. ok i guess i'm not going on this trip that's been planned for over a year and for my grandmas 80th#i will just be so sad and miserable about it and make it everyone else's problem#and then. and then. finally. 2 weeks left until everyone leaves for the trip and i finally bring it up to my coworkers being like#oh yea my whole entire family is going on a big trip without me and i'm rlly sad that i can't go#and they looked at me like. why cant u go? and i was like. what do u mean? cuz i'm new i don't have rights#and they were like. what is wrong with u#and i looked at them and said literally everything#listennnn there is a corporate heirarchy and i am at the bottom of the ladder#i know my place and i'm so used to groveling and begging oh my god i need to get a grip pls#am i normal#please tell me cuz i can't tell is. it normal to be this scared and frightened all the time#like. am i the only one who thinks this way.
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darklylucid · 6 months
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You know you need to replace your work boots when the tread is as smooth as a bald tire and worn down to the material it's attached to.
I have no traction and am afraid of wet floors.
I case anyone's wondering - THIS is the kind of footwear what I wear EVERYWHERE.
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I only ever wear one pair of shoes...if I leave the house, I'm wearing THESE.
365 days a year + 30 degrees in the Summer and - 30 degrees in the winter all-season all-terrain 'shoeboots'!
UPDATE - NEW BOOTS HAVE BEEN ACQUIRED AND IT COST ME $80 LESS THAN I BUDGETED FOR FUCK YES WHOOT!
MY NEW AWESOMENESS -
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olde-scratch · 7 months
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the money i would spend if monster high wasn't overhauled.
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simgerale · 2 years
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hope everyone is doing well!!! ♥ made a cute fairy girl as an excuse to post something lol
#ts4#i'm so tired but i finally had some time on my hands#a lot has happened since we all last spoke !!!!!!!!! and by spoke i mean since i have last rambled in the tags about my life#some sad news and some bittersweet news and some happy news!#pet death tw#i know that won't block anything but i am gonna talk about it so scroll away pls if you need to#my childhood dog got really sick last week and had been in-and-out of the vet#she was 16 years old and it's amazing that she has been with us for so long honestly#but we had to put her down this week as her liver started to fail. we think it might have been cancer that finally showed its head#i was so sad and couldn't stop crying for the life of me. but i had to go to work the next day and that felt so wrong#i know that's life! it just sucks that my grieving period is cut short and i have trained myself to adjust to that#onto the bittersweet news... today (or yesterday i guess since this will post on saturday) was my last day at my job!#i will be moving soon to live with my boyfriend so i figured it was time to cut my ties there (esp. since other people are also leaving#and i didn't want to clean up the mess)#everyone was really sweet about my departure and i will miss them#but i also know this is just the beginning of my life!!!!!!!#which brings me to happy news#like i said i'll be moving soon!!!!! moving in with my bf whom i'm very excited to marry one day!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i will get the domestic bliss i've always wanted in life. how basic! i know! but i can't wait.#i don't have a new job yet but i've been applying to both remote things and in office things#i'm excited for what that may mean as well.#over all. life is life and it's happening for me#so that's why sims has been on the backburner!#soon i will return <333 thank you for your patience lovelies.#have a great GREAT weekend.
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bobtheacorn · 1 year
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If anon is throwing rocks at your window in the middle of the night, I am bringing you baked goods of your choice at a decent hour. Actually it rules that you're proship. Keep up the good work (minding your own business, not being a bully, not falling for reactionary nonsense, thinking for yourself, having common sense, and so on and so forth)
Genuinely, THANK U I appreciate that!! I'm doing my best!! I'm just tryin'a write my silly lil fanfics and vibe and everybody else should be allowed to do the same.
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#asked#i'm trying not to be a DOWNER but my god#I keep accidentally getting into fandoms that seem to have a high BS rate??#there's a tiny niche of ppl minding their own business and then a huge swatch of ppl that are like...........#aggressively yelling abt pretend threats to their Pure and Superior Thoughts on Fictional Characters#i don't know how to tell them that Jesus Christ is not gonna kiss them on the forehead for being hate mongering goblins#im just sayin#he would probably be the first to throw a table into the thick of y'all#like i get it u don't like incest that's valid#if u hate it so much why do you keep bringing it up?????????????????#tcest was literally trending on twitter a while ago bc baby antis were hollering abt it and the Algorithm was like U Want?? Here.#and then they took psychic damage abt it#i had to laugh#i guess i'm built different#nothing desensitizes you to stuff you don't want to see quicker than being 10 years old on the brand new interwebs#and googling your favorite digimon bc u want a cool desktop pic#NO search filters NO tags#just u as a kid fighting for ur life in google images sweeping past pages of weird grown up shit with ur eyes the size of dinner plates#let me just wave my cane and rant for a minute!!!!!!!!!! sorry!!!!!!! lmao#i'm just Old and Tired and I think ppl should be thankful for tumblr and ao3 and their fantastic fucking tagging systems and no algorithm#u can literally block things u dont wanna see#also u can just mind ur own business abt it
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pepprs · 1 year
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god my throat is raw from yelling / panicking. And part of me is wary wondering if it’ll happen again. omgggg
#purrs#i think i knew it was a false alarm it just didn’t feel real. but what fucked me up is that i couldn’t t honk of what to bring. i knew we#we’re close to an exit so we would be fine and i know you’re not supposed to delay getting out and that the stuff is just stuff. but my#journals and diaries.. like i brought them all here for some new years reflections and i couldn’t bring myself to bring any of them. or my#sketchbook. or my switch or ds with my animal crossing town. idk. i guess smth flashed through my head like so much of what matters to me#is digital now but that’s not fucking true at all. why did i have a hard time deciding and brought nothing when my sketchbook is the most#important thing i have i think bc it’s my scrapbook / diary. it just fucked me ip so bad. now im staring at the ceiling and my throat hurts#and im going to be so tired tomorrow. that was so scary#we didn’t even make it outside bc the alarm stopped before we left the room bc we were scrambling to find coats and masks (lol) and them my#mom called the front desk and they said it was a false alarm. so idk. for those 45 seconds it could’ve been life or death and that’s so much#to think about. everything important went out the window it was just like wtf is even happening rn and my dad said it was a fire and i was l#like how do you know. ugh. that was so scary#like what fucked me up was. all the pieces of me are spread so thin in so many journals and shit that idk which one to bring. i would have t#to take the complete collection. and i can’t do that so i have to leave all of them. that’s the choice i made in that primal moment. it#QUITE LITERALLY does not matter and is not the most important part of this to be worried abt / fucked up over but that really shook me
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