#but I distorted the quote massively

[sharoo]

Why there can only be one - a Limbus Theory

Massive Canto 6.2 spoilers

So... Canto 6.2, amirite?

After I stopped having a screaming fit over voice chat and got myself to actually sit down and mull things over, my mind kept coming back to the ending of this part's final fight against Heathcliff(?).

As they have done numerous times already, Projmoon brings in our relevant Sinner's personal E.G.O. in the most emotionally high moment creating an iconic scene.

But... wait a minute.

The E.G.O. does not make sense.

Like, think about it. Since Limbus started, people have been speculating about what's in the Bodysack, one of the biggest theories being Cathy's corpse. But our Heathcliff never had his revenge quest. He hasn't killed anyone from the Earnshaws or the Edgars until Hindley distorted!

So why the heck does he have a sack of bodies of (presumably) his enemies. And why is the final attack of Heathcliff(?)'s fight in the cemetery?

Heath wasn't there when Cathy died. He didn't go to her grave. He did not swear revenge on everyone and anyone who caused him and her suffering.

Not yet.

But... we do see someone who did, don't we? Dear old "Matt".

He is the book accurate Heathcliff. He's stood vigil while Cathy lay dying, he followed suit by destroying everyone and everything of the Earnshaws and the Edgars, and now he's on a self-destructive suicide quest of killing every last version of himself for causing Cathy's death.

The E.G.O. fits him much more than it does our Heathcliff, doesn't it?

So... why does Heathcliff have it?

This was the beginning of a rabbit hole (pun intended). Let me state plainly my point and then elaborate:

My theory is that our Heathcliff has been suffering from "identity bleed-through" since perhaps even before joining Limbus Companny, all due to the existence of "Matt" in the same universe as him.

"Matt" is outright called an Identity, meaning he's an alternate reality version of Heathcliff, a more book accurate version, as I remarked earlier.

He presumably finished his revenge quest until he was the last one left, but then he discovered, by some means, that alternate realities exist and that he can access them.

We do not know who showed him that technology or for what purpose, but regardless of those factors, that must've been the breaking point at which self-destruction became a hunt.

He says he's seen Hindley die multiple times, multiple ways.

He's a reality hopper, using his access to this technology (supplied to him by we don't know who) to play this act out again and again, until he's had his revenge.

How would this affect our Heathcliff, tho?

Let's consider the ImplicationsTM.

Wehave known since Selva Oscura how Identities work - you borrow a person's alternate reality self for a little while, letting them overwrite memories and take over the body. Faust even calls it a transformation:

But notice how she specifies something rather important: they have a system to ensure the Sinners can use Identities safely. That they, quote, don't lose control over their own existence.

And even this system can be faulty, as Dante remarks in their note:

Faust knows this process is risky, that the lines can easily blur, and we know just how much damage this can cause because Leviathan outright shows us the psychological and physical toll this process can have on a person.

We even see the same thing in Canto 6 itself, with the hundred glass containers filled with kidnapped people forced to experience numerous realities at once.

Some of them even turn into Peccatula because of it, and we fight those newly made monsters.

So experiencing other realities alone can harm you, change you without even realising it.

What would happen, then, if more than one identity existed in the same reality at the same time?

My theory hinges on the idea that these identities would not just count as two separate people, that is true. But let's go with that train of thought. It is just as likely an outcome (and it produces an interesting story!), and between all the magic-esque technology and the Light, it's possible that something would get messed up.

Two people where there is meant to be one, two very different lives, and reality cannot really allow that separation. Things would bleed through, they'd get all blurry and you wouldn't even know where the difference is.

We have Matt-cliff, an Identity who has travelled at least a few universes, in each carrying out a scheme to kill everyone who hurt Cathy, including that reality's Heathcliff. In the books, it takes him his entire adulthood to carry out his plans. He's persistent, and thorough. In Limbus, he's had to arrive, kidnap several dozens of people (maybe with the help of the Ring, since they seem to be funding all of this research), re-establish the Wild Rabbits, get Hindley's trust, get hired, and scheme this reality's revenge plot.

That would have taken weeks if not months of prepwork. You don't just snap your fingers and have it all done.

I posit that Matt has been a factor for the past several months that Heath has spent, in universe, as part of Limbus company, if not longer. Throughout this time, their shared existence in this reality has caused their experiences, memories, and emotions to mix. And that isn't just my conjecture, we see that Heathcliff is indeed experiencing alternate universe memories we he starts to Distort and we (and Dante) see him see Mattcliff's grief.

[Thank you to my buddy @firestorm09890 for pointing this out to help me solidify this theory]

The way I see it, Bodysack is that.

A memory and an emotion of a reality travelling bloodhound imprinting itself on Heathcliff. It was foreshadowing his existence, it was staring us in the face that something is not right. The influence of another self can lead a person to corrupt and Heath had a slow trickle of it for nearly a year.

So... maybe it wasn't as surprising that he is our first Distorted Sinner.

I can't really see how it'd make sense in universe Heath has it otherwise, and I know Projmoon to be meticulous planners so I doubt this is an oversight on their part.

Guess we'll have to see next Thursday when 6.3 comes out and breaks me into tiny bits.

Anyway thanks for coming here to read this longass post.

#limbus canto 6 spoilers #limbus company #limbus theory #limbus canto vi spoilers #heathcliff lcb #healthcliff limbus #heathcliff

[awokennerd]

Ikora Rey, the Stormcaller?

Okay, so shout-out to Destiny Lore Vault on YouTube for uploading videos on Osiris' Interpretation. They are from the Lightfall campaign. I'm not sure if you get them from completing the last mission, but that is when I listened to them all. If you haven't listened to them, basically they are the five elements we can now use in containers around Osiris in the Hall of Heroes and he briefly explains a bit about each. It's a nice touch for New Lights or returning players, as it describes what Void, Solar, Arc, and Stasis are. Osiris also explains his current understanding of Strand as the fifth.

(TLDR at the end!)

Here is the dialogue from each of them:

Strand is our newest foray into Darkness. As I understand it now, it is the elemental manifestation of psychic connection. All minds are connected in a web of consciousness, which we can now see and feel. To wield Strand is to pull on the hidden connecting threads, and to use them to create, manipulate, and unravel. I had assumed this element would behave similar to our other Darkness ability. But unlike Stasis, mastering Strand seems to require one to relinquish control. To embrace the connecting threads, and perhaps flow WITH them. I look forward to experimenting more with this new element.

Stasis is the element of will and control. It slows, detains, and shatters. It was our first step into Darkness, and taught us the universe is not as black and white as it first seemed. Elsie Bray and Eris Morn have slightly different interpretations of how one masters this element. Fitting, as Stasis thrives on individual will, but merging their thoughts gives me this... Control over the self can foster control over others, but without power over the self, destruction runs wild. When we wield Stasis, we must exercise the ultimate authority over both self and others.

Void is the element of cosmic distortion. It is the pull of gravity and the promise of entropy. The vacuum of space, and the gravitational forces that shape it, teach us that emptiness is not nothingness. In Ikora's words... "To wield Void is to draw strength from both the immeasurably small and the unfathomably massive." With it, we bend the very fabric of space-time.

Arc is the element of motion and conduction, and is created when the electromagnetic forces of our universe struggle to achieve balance. According to Ikora, Arc teaches us that change is a fundamental aspect of the universe. "To wield it is to ride the storm of the unguessable."

Solar requires us to both exploit and rely on the power of our sun. But to master it is to understand the star's duality. The nuclear force that scorches anything foolish enough to draw near... is the same force we harness to heal. It feeds the flora of our galaxy, just as it begets drought and famine. Destruction and re-creation are a necessary cycle.

One thing is really interesting--who Osiris decides to quote for each. Obviously, it's only really him and the young wolf who know about strand at this point, so he just gives his own thoughts on it. And well, he is known as the Phoenix, so obviously he is also just giving his own interpretations there. Mentioning Elsie and Eris makes sense for Stasis, since they are part of the "Darkness Vanguard" of Beyond Light (and would be the types to have more academic thoughts on it then say Drifter).

But then we get to Void and Arc, and interestingly, he quotes Ikora for both. Obviously the two most well-known/prominent lightbearers of Void are Ikora and Saint. I assume Ikora has done a lot more academic work than Saint on Void, thus Osiris doesn't quote his husband.

But why Arc? This really makes me wonder if Ikora was a Stormcaller before becoming a Voidwalker. But at the same time, this made me realize we don't really have an arc users well-known enough in the game currently (and I mean well-known enough for them to quote it to possibly people who don't read the lore/new to d2/returning players). We have so many solar users, a few void users, and lots of people who either use different elements or their preference isn't specified. But arc? Saladin used it in the one lore entry where Lady Efrideet yeeted him, but that is about it.

So yeah. Just something that made me rant to my boyfriend while we listened to these together. Even he was kinda surprised Ikora was quoted for arc. Idk, is this back up in lore that I haven't read? Or is this new lore that perhaps Ikora was a Stormcaller? I've always assumed she was a Dawnblade before becoming a Voidwalker.

TLDR: Osiris decides to quote Ikora when giving a brief overview arc, which is pretty random. Was she a stormcaller at some point or do we just have like no other arc-users to quote?

#this just really confused me and i wanted to rant lol #plus I love learning more about my favorite vanguard #destiny lore stuff #destiny #destiny 2 #destiny the game #ikora #ikora rey #osiris #eris morn #elsie bray #saint 14

[outofangband]

For @slightnettles for the beautiful art you made of this scene. I cannot draw, alas

I couldn’t decide whether to do this quote or …but Morwen also was lost. Neither then nor after did any certain news of her fate come to Doriath or to Dor-lómin.

I’ll probably do that one after! They’re both so vivid to me in different ways! In this one Morwen faces the monster of her childhood…

I think so much about young Morwen in the shadow of Glaurung. Fires raging around her. Aunts and uncles and cousins being dragged off for death or worse. The earth cracking around the monstrous claw of the dragon. And her nightmares after. The half formed images of the monster that destroyed everything.

And that moment of utter horror when Morwen realizes that, far from a distorted or exaggerated childish fear, Glaurung, when she sees him as an adult, is even worse than she remembered and this time, her family isn’t just collateral to be destroyed in the midst of a massive catastrophe, they’re the specific targets

And she just vanishes!!!! It destroys me

Anyways I’m making “and they saw her no more” my organization tag for my post Doriath Morwen story and meta because it kind of connects the two quotes

#the silmarillion #the children of húrin #Tengwar #morwen #and they saw her no more

[imichelle-l-rigby]

Reflections: Cillian Murphy’s Limited Edition

Season 3, episode 3

———————————————————————

*I am a music prof (predominantly classical vocalist), and I LOVE listening to Cillian’s music choices! That being said, sometimes I won’t like a song simply because of a vocalist (it’s a professional hazard - sorry!) 👩‍🏫

** The following are my own observations/opinions. We may not agree, and that’s ok! That’s what makes music fun! 😊

*** I wouldn’t say I’m well-versed in Cillian’s music preferences, but I do enjoy them (for the most part). I always wind up adding to my own playlists after listening to Cillian’s recommendations.

———————————————————————

First of all, thank you so much for your patience as I compiled my thoughts! It’s a busy week at work and there’s been a lot of things happening in my family. I appreciate y’all being willing to wait!

And finally, my thoughts on episode 3:

🎵Set 1 (Midnight in a Perfect World - Sister Midnight)

Midnight in a Perfect World: whoaaaa. This is so ethereal and gorgeous and techno but not. Love! 😍

I already like this episode better than last week’s 😂😅

Side note: as crazy as this week has been, this song is perfect right now. The insistent background and bass are steady enough for the irregularities above it. Somehow it’s calming/therapeutic.

Sister Midnight: a classic. While Iggy has never been a favorite of mine, I appreciate this groove!

🎤Talking break

His poor dog! 😂😅 🐕

Ah, finally a mention of Bowie! Shocked it took him this long!

MAMA CASS!!!!!

That horrible moment when you realize you’re almost the same age as Mama Cass when she died 😥😢

🎵Set 2 (Didn’t Wanna Have To Do It - Sinatra Drive Breakdown)

Didn’t Wanna: omg this is so beautiful. She died so young, but DANG. Her voice was so gorgeous! And this song!!! Omg!!! Again, love! 😍 ✨favorite song of this episode✨

I’m definitely assigning this to a student sometime soon 😂 🤫

Summer Rain: ooh, saxophone! 🎷 this started cool as a sax solo, but then it became a bitonal (2 keys at once) performance piece! Niiiiiice! Massive respect. I like how sometimes the 2 lines fit, and then sometimes they really don’t.

Dreaming in Another Language: I am loving the bass and background lines! So fun! And I’m not sure why, but this reminds me of “Rain” by the Beatles? I’ll let you know if I ever pin down why it reminds me of that song 😅

The distortion at the end DEFINITELY sounds Beatles - but like ‘68 not ‘66 ish.

Sinatra: much more rock n roll! This is not what I expect when I see “Sinatra” in the title 😂😂😂 I definitely hear a “breakdown,” but it’s also a pleasant surprise how chill the vocal line is against everything else.

🎤Talking break

Oooohhhh a reading!

Fun fact: I do introduce Wendy Carlos to my students when we discuss electronic music.

I need this book.

🎵Set 3 (The Shining - It Takes a Muscle)

The Shining Main Theme: so if you recognize the tune at the beginning, that’s the theme for the Dies Irae (part of the Requiem). Very famous tune and tons of composers quote it (although there are other settings of the Dies Irae text). The early electronic/synthesized sound is not my favorite timbre in the world, but still, this is a big moment in music history.

Side note: I’m a wimp and can’t do scary stuff. I’ve never seen The Shining. Or 28 Days Later. I had to watch A Quiet Place 2 with the sound turned off. 😅

It Takes a Muscle: this techno islander vibe is amazing! 😎

🎤Talking Break

Yay! Covers!

I do not know what French movie this could be. 🤷‍♀️

🎵Set 4 (Camille - Recat)

Camille: the beginning reminds me of Adele? Why?? This is nothing like Adele! 😅 but I do find the sample intriguing! I’m like “ooh… what are they saying??? Sounds dramatic!!” And more than that, I think it highlights the musical qualities of speech. Even when you don’t know what’s going on, there’s so much still communicated. That’s part of why music works! It’s a fascinating line of study!

Side note: Leonard Bernstein’s lecture series The Unanswered Question explores the above-mentioned speech qualities within music. They’re on YouTube

Intellijel Bell: the beginning sounds like a phone ringing, and I was a little confused when it switched to this song 😅 I guess that’s why “bell” is in the title? But another good example of composers/artists using “sound samples” as music. 👍

Recat: oooh! A nice pace changer! And if you haven’t figured it out by now, I LOVE me some complex rhythms! 😍 now this also has a lot of “headphone sound effects,” where you get that whoosh effect as the sound “travels” from 1 ear to the other. It’s a cool technique, even though it leaves my ears super confused 😂

🎤Talking Break

Tone and atmosphere: yes you can discuss them, but it’s a skill, for sure. I teach a whole class on writing about music.

2020 - only he could make that year sound good.

More whispers

The confusing Yorkshire mystery man!

Dude, actually loving Yorkshire man’s story today! 😂👍

🎵Set 5 (The Prickle-Holly Bush - Only Love Can Break Your Heart)

The Prickle-Holly Bush: once again, I am professionally (and personally) SO INTERESTED in folk music! Love this song! It’s got amazing harmonies, and the vocal production is so humble. It’s hard to describe, but it’s gorgeous. It’s a wonderful reminder that this is music of the people, closely tied to local culture, and ANYONE can join in, regardless of training.

Ok, rant over. Maybe. 😅

Only Love Can Break Your Heart: I feel like this is a “music whiplash” moment going from 1 song to the next 😅 Very pop, and I do like the lyrics.

🎤Talking Break

Ah! This guy was in No No (loved that song)!

🎵Set 6 (Alive Ain’t Always Living - I Saw)

Alive: I like this vocal line/rap. It just teeters in the edge of spoken/sung. Maybe you could call it sprechstimme, but it doesn’t seem to do this justice.

I Saw: whoa. Again, a strong juxtaposition! Very aggressive beginning paired with a chill main vocal line. But I think it’s got some strong lyrics, which is definitely a Cillian thing. But I will say the “brush your teeth, wash your face” section is hilarious! 😂

🎤Talking Break

Young Fathers record comment: boys to grown men. Wow. A great concept!

“When did it come out? I’m not quite sure”

🎵Set 7 (People Are Pissed)

People Are Pissed: this sounds like it belongs in a musical. I could easily see this being performed on stage, but it’s also got these atmospheric movie score qualities. The sudden pauses are a major appeal in this song. But what’s with the video game sounds?? 😂😂😂

🎤Talking Break

Ok but I’m actually ok with him making a “cover version” ident because all his idents have me ROLLING. 😂

🎵Set 8 (Inner City Blues)

Inner City Blues: YES this groove is so smooth. 😎 I really like this! Gil Scott-Heron’s got a loooooovely timbre to his voice. It’s like he’s a crooner. 💯 and the lyrics are amazing, as is the saxophone and other instruments used here! Phew! This is one heck of a song!

🎤Talking Break

Ask a reasonable question!

“Eminently reasonable question”

Of course he’s reading more Claire Keegan

I love how he gets so distracted while presenting 😂

Ooh! Archive material!

🎵Set 9 (King Harvest)

King Harvest: ooh, that Hammond organ! And he’s got some fun belt technique!

Side note: is it a coincidence that Cillian chose a song mentioning a union? 🤔

🎤Talking Break

Ok, but him forgetting to mention something is soooooo relatable to me this week! 😂😂😂

“If you can think of something reasonable to ask”

NINAAAAAAA!!!!!

🎵Set 10 (Mississippi)

Mississippi: I love Nina. While I think Ella Fitzgerald has the most beautiful jazz voice, Nina (and Billie Holiday) are tied for the best storytellers (at least in my book). Anyway. THIS SONG. There are so many powerful songs from the Civil Rights Era (and the decades prior), and this is one of them!

Side note: Nina is a FABULOUS pianist! If you haven’t seen this clip of her from the Ed Sullivan show, you should! She freaking improvised counterpoint!!!! 🙀🙀🙀 I am OBSESSED.

🎤 Talking Break

“See what I mean? She’s kinda untouchable” - yep. She really is!

🎵Set 11(Hard Drive - Mrs. Robinson)

Hard Drive: this is what “living in the present” means 😂. Nah, I like this.

Mrs. Robinson: YES!!!! You better believe I had a hardcore singalong while listening to this 😂😂😂😂

🎤Talking Break

I love when you hear a cover before the original. No particular reason. Just do!

🎵Set 12 (Big Black Mariah)

Big Black Mariah: very bluesy! Specifically country blues. 💙

🎤Talking Break

Noooo it’s the end!!!

“Thanks a mil”

“Miraculously they all seem to be in the same key”

I’ve never heard “saxophonist” said “sax OFF an ist” 😂

“Mind yourselves”

🎵Set 13 (Electric Ballad - Goodnight World)

Electric Ballad: I love the contrary motion and imitation in the lines! The electronic sounds are a bit strange to me, but it’s early days for electronic music, so of course they’re playing with their new toys.

The Lighthouse I: ah, it’s like the horns from tugboats or ships passing! Cool!!! And the hums are a neat effect as well.

Side note: I thought at first it was a bunch of hearings of Concert A, like the instruments were tuning, so I was a bit confused 😅 but I checked and it was a D, not an A. 🤷‍♀️

Goodnight World: omg it’s Goodnight Moon but not!!! 🙀🙀🙀🙀

———————————————————————

Thanks so much for reading!!! Share and comment if you want 😊

Tag list:

@iammrsrogers @deliciousnutcomputer @mariamoonie @brownskinsugarplum76 @look-at-the-soul @kj-davis @neverroad @teapothollow @thepurplearmyposts @possessedmarshmallow

#cillian murphy #Cillian Murphy limited edition #bbc6 #music

[qqueenofhades]

Supposed Leftists cannibalizing themselves instead of aiming their fangs at the right wing frankly just makes me think they harm out of fear towards an evil they see as too powerful to fight against, and thus turn against people they see as easier and weaker to hurt, even if it's their own side.

It's entirely possible. As I have said in all my other posts, there are a lot of contributing factors. What I really want to know, however, is when the bulk of leftist political critique switched to "hysterical, nonsensical, personal slanders coupled with unprovable and inaccurate broad-brush generalizations designed to make the Democrats look as bad as possible." Truly, there's a way to criticize your allies accurately and helpfully without just giving into Cloud Cuckoo Leftist Land, but that doesn't play as well in the distorted environment of social media, where pithy one-liners and out-of-context quotes go viral faster and reaffirm one's own sense of superior morality. But it does nothing, and doesn't address anything that's wrong. It sure as hell makes them worse, though.

Like. Here's food for thought: I personally feel that at least thus far (although it's already showing signs of changing, because y'know Democrats LISTEN TO SUGGESTIONS and alter their behavior accordingly), Joe Biden himself has MASSIVELY misjudged his personal, initial response to the situation. He gave a speech which was nice and said the right things, but mainly contained boilerplate platitudes with very few actual policy specifications as to things he personally, as chief executive, would order done, aside from promising a vague "whole of government" response. And even that is not to say that nothing was done; it was just that Biden himself, as the president and most visible Democratic elected leader, missed a critical moment to assertively seize hold of the discussion and shape it accordingly. The next raft of headlines we got were all about things Biden DIDN'T want to do: he opposed ending the filibuster to codify Roe, he didn't want to expand the court, he didn't want to order federal buildings in red states to provide abortion services, he didn't want to circumvent the Hyde Amendment, etc etc etc. This was because, apparently, Biden and his top policy advisors feared that this was "too polarizing" and drastic a response, and might undermine public confidence in institutions such as, whaddya know, SCOTUS.

This is because Biden is an old-school politician who has spent his entire career working within the usual confines of American democratic institutions, and his first instinct is still to trust them and think that they will operate as designed. The fact that they've completely gone off the rails, and that SCOTUS has been hijacked with extremists, is still a difficult thing for him to understand, and he's tending to underwhelming and insufficient responses as a result. However, a) SCOTUS has already lost legitimacy in the public's eyes (barely one-third of Americans trust it -- I think the exact number was like 37% at last polling, but I can't be sure) and b) ABORTION IS NOT A FRINGE ISSUE! Biden likewise has spent his career in the "don't discuss abortion" nineties-Democrat mindset, where it wasn't really a winning issue and the talking point was that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare." But SIXTY PERCENT OF ALL AMERICANS oppose overturning Roe, including 67% of women. This is not something that Biden needs to tiptoe around. He needs to seize that ready-made bulwark of support and show that he is ready to lead on the issue, rather than be dragged along by progressive female Democrats.

Likewise, there were reports that Biden has nominated an anti-abortion lawyer for a federal judgeship in Kentucky, apparently as part of a deal with McConnell to get him to drop GOP opposition to future administrative and judicial nominees. The timing on this was terrible, the optics were equally bad, and he got (somewhat deservedly) bashed for it. However, Biden has already gotten a huge amount of incredibly diverse and progressive judicial nominees confirmed and seated, since he learned from the mistakes of the Obama years and Rahm "I don't give a shit about judges" Emanuel. Likewise, the absolute dregs of the Republican Senate, aka Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley, have been auto-blocking every single one of Biden's lower-level appointees, including hundreds of Department of State and Defense employees and other critical government-functionary posts. They have no reason to do this aside from being performative asswipes who want to show that they're not cooperating with anything Biden wants to do, no matter how small. It has already caused difficulties in things like, say, responding to the Ukraine war and other foreign-policy issues where Biden is enjoying some success, such as his drive to reunite and expand NATO (now that Sweden and Finland are almost certain to join).

That being the case, a single district judge in Kentucky is unlikely to do MORE damage to abortion rights in this country than, you know, the fucking entire Supreme Court already did, and while I still don't agree with it (or the timing of it), the fact remains that there is more context for this action than just BIDEN SECRETLY HATES ABORTION AND IS A SENILE HYPOCRITE!!! This is still ultimately reflective on Mitch Fucking McConnell and the moral slime of the GOP caucus: rather than letting the president do his job and fill the ordinary foreign-service and civil servant posts and other completely uncontroversial, non-political appointments, you extort, threaten, and hold them all hostage until the president finally agrees to nominate an anti-abortion judge in your home state, which already has a trigger law that automatically kicked in at the overturn of Roe (though another judge has issued a temporary stay for the time being). And if Senate Democrats fight back and refuse to vote for this asshole, which would be nice if probably not on the cards since it would make McConnell et al even more vindictive, he doesn't get seated anyway!

Anyway, the headline this morning was that Biden is now in favor of getting rid of the filibuster at least in the case of a reproductive-rights carve-out, and 34 Senate Democrats (at last count) are pushing him to make a much more forceful personal response, including the issuance of an executive order or other policy steps. That is the vast majority of the Senate Democratic caucus, and highlights the (gasp, shocking) fact that "the Democrats" aren't a single monolithic entity with a single monolithic policy. Even if Biden himself failed hard at the first hurdle, the Congressional caucus clearly recognizes that there is a serious groundswell of public anger that needs to be responded to, and "vote in November" and tweeting boilerplate platitudes about respecting women's bodily autonomy doesn't cut it as an actual solution. They're also campaigning on this issue, yes, which is the sensible thing to do. But again, there is more to it than that.

In sum: my point is, see what I did here? I criticized Biden for things that were actually his fault and which he could take action to remedy, rather than yelling overheated nonsense about how he's a senile rapist scum of the earth secret Republican etc etc, insisting that "both parties were the same," and blaming the Democrats (and only the Democrats) for the initial action to overturn Roe in the first place. I recognized that different groups of Democrats had made different responses, and placed Biden's own actions in the context of his overall political career, which includes recognizing that an octogenarian centrist Catholic has consistently been so legislatively supportive of abortion and women's rights that it's repeatedly gotten him into trouble with ultra-partisan American Catholic bishops. He also trusts too much in American institutions and can't fully grasp the fact of how badly they have been damaged, hijacked, and already lost public confidence, which limits the range of options that he's willing to consider in response. However, he has showed the ability to listen to criticism from inside his own party and to adjust his thinking, so... that's already far more than a Republican would ever do.

Anyway. Yes. My point here is: You can absolutely criticize Democrats in extensive, constructive, and accurate ways that don't rely on baseless vitriol, social media clout-chasing, and personal insults, and aren't designed to just make yourself, the brave Twitter Keyboard Warrior, look even more Moral in response. However, a lot of them have totally lost the ability to do that, and seem to think that the best political argument is one that rips your actual political allies to shreds as much as possible. Which is, to say the least, unfortunate.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts

[radioactive-earthshine]

what exactly did the anomaly do? I've re-read the issues involving it many times but could never find a proper explanation. I know it changed some of the legionnaires that encountered it, but what exactly was it?

This is sort of a convoluted explanation so bear with me. I think it's a good opportunity to give a rundown of what this arc even was because there are layers.

Basically, The Anomaly is "The Fires of Creation" where an insurmountable and inconceivable amount of matter and energy was being released. It is also referred to as 'an entire cosmos in miniature' by Querl.

If you wanted to find a real approximation to it you could consider it (with comic logic added because these are comics) to be a new initial singularity.

An initial singularity is the state of the universe prior the quantum fluctuations which contributed to the sudden universe expanding (The Big Bang Theory). Just a dense point of... everything...

This is also why I feel Querl quoting Edward Tryon "Sometimes a universe just happens" was not an accident considering this physicist's research on quantum fluctuations while in the state of a vacuum.

Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) #100

Legionnaires #58

Again, confirming that it is a source of infinite matter and energy. This is a comic book so this is possible.

Legionnaires #59

The Anomaly also distorts time and its perception, particularly for Mon El at this time who is particularly resistant to its creation energy.

Legionnaires #60

As the Legionnaires study the Anomaly they also get consumed by it, and when this happens they are "upgraded" in varying ways due to its massive amount of energy and creation 'ability'.

This voice on these pages are unknown at the time of reading, but there is a clue as to who is speaking which is none other than Time Trapper who often has pentagons for speech bubbles. Also, the reference to time is also a hint.

Legionnaires #61

Time Trapper states that their realm is very much like the Anomaly in that it is a plane that has total mastery over space, time and reality.

Time Trapper essentially is God to the Legionnaires in the 31st century and they have been everything from an ally to a villain to them - they really are a neutral force with an agenda that fluctuates all the time.

They see and know (almost) everything that will happen to them and depending their mood or alignment will either foil them, help them, or do nothing. In this run they decided to not tamper with their destinies and they were trying to aid them in their own way by forcing them to experience all those time shifts in the first place.

They did this to test them, to 'train' them, for this encounter with the Anomaly and all events associated with it - as they likely foresaw all of it.

I promise this is important.

Legionnaires #64

Where things got extremely bad and really confusing with The Anomaly was when Leland McCauley, Bezos of the 30th century, exploited it for personal gain as a power generator for instantaneous travel which Evolvo invented. He meant it as a competition to Brande's Stargates which unified the entire galaxy with fast travel. Leland hoped his teleportation device would make the Stargates obsolete and he, already a rich man, would be more rich.

The AP "Affiliated Planets", which was actually a front created by The Dark Circle being led by Querl's mother, jumped on this new technology and convinced Leland to work for them transporting their own forces in the galaxy. Due to Leland's greed, he agreed, and when they tried to teleport an entire fleet at once to wage war over Durla the Anomaly ruptured, trapping Time Trapper within it and thus stopping all time.

Legionnaires #64

So the Anomaly is not an infallible source of energy but it CAN trap Time Trapper which is a danger to all of reality. Up until this point, it was a neutral/positive entity whose potential depended entirely on how sentients used it.

Another recap can be read below for all of the events involving the specifics on the war and The Anomaly below.

Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) #108

So The Anomaly was exploited by The Dark Circle (Querl's mother) and Leland, it ruptures, traps Time Trapper, the Legionnaires all band together, save it with a Stargate Drive as it links time/space without distortion and then poof... it's gone.

Time Trapper is free and time is restored, and at the end...

We never find out really WHAT the Anomaly is 100%, it's like gravity - we can explain how it behaves and what it does but we're not sure what it is, precisely. 🤷‍♀️

It's can distort space/time so what happened with the Legionnaires who got 'trapped' in it likely were exposed to its "Fires of Creation" and were just changed because it is a cosmic force and it just can do this.

Does it have a conscious? We don't know. Was it God? Maybe. Was it Time Trapper all along but a future version of them or an ancient version? Possibly. We don't know. It is a cosmic wad of fantasy energy that changes people.

#orla reads losh

[unknownjpegs]

gas money

Benji picks up. “Uh-huh?”

“Uh-huh,” a slightly distorted voice on the other end mocks. “Would it kill you to have some manners?”

“Slowly and painfully,” he deadpans. “Whatdya need, Til?”

“I resent you implying that I only call for favors, first of all.” Matilda says, her pretty sneer audible through the phone. He imagines her holding a slim finger up to count — middle, of course. “Two, I’m cashing in a favor for a ride.” 

“Yeah, figured.” Benji twirls the highlighter around his thumb. “Wanna talk about how it’s a little weird to be askin’ me, of all your friends, to chauffeur you around?” He falls back on the couch, grinning. “Bit ‘trading agreement’, isn’t it?”

“Innit,” Matilda mocks again, dripping youngest child energy. “If you say no, you’re transphobic.” 

Benji laughs hard. “Oh, g’off pulling that. Where?”

“You just did it, asshole. Down by the market square, I need —”

“If you’re using me to pick up groceries I’m puttin’ my foot down, you’re on the bus line. ‘Sides, petrol’s fucking…I don’t even wanna do the conversion.” 

“Gas money fuckboy,” Matilda chirps. “Won’t you take your dear sweet starving friend to get food?”

Benji scoffs. “If I had one I would. Put away your plate and mine sometimes.” His thumb hovers over the red disconnect button. 

“Shame,” Matilda sighs. “I was hoping you would give me a ride. Since, y’know, after I’m done shopping I was gonna drop my car off for an oil change, but —”

Benji’s already leaping over the back of the couch, smacking his laptop shut a little too enthusiastically. “Oh, man, I love helping my friends,” he sing-songs to Matilda’s peel of affectionate, jeering laughter.

“You’re a fucking dog, Benji.” She teases. 

“I don’t wanna hear it,” he tucks the phone to his shoulder, jumping to pull his boots on. Glasses tip off his nose and drop to the floor, making him wince. They’re massively out of date on the prescription and several years old, weak from frequent drops exactly like that. It’s been a bit of a hassle finding a chemist to work him a new one, and so it’s fallen to the wayside.

“Shit — “ Benji reaches for them. “I don’t wanna hear it from you. Which one of us changed their entire morning schedule just so she’d keep coincidentally—” he stands, fingers quirked into quotes although she can’t see them, “running into the hot jogger at the park?”

“Maybe I’m interested in joining the track team.” She says primly, the hint of a giggle of her own evident. “Maybe I’m just really into the, like, intricacies of…the culture of... sprinting for like twenty seconds at a time.” 

“Really into some fuckin’ five-inch inseams, more like,” Benji says dryly, switching it to speakerphone to shrug his jacket on. 

“Jesus Christ, I hope so,” Matilda moans theatrically, the volume of which prompts him to dart for the phone and tap at the speaker button again. Roommates home, trying to wind down for the night while Benji’s just woken up to study. 

He hears the rustle of fabric and her breathy huff as she throws herself down on her bed. “You finally gonna do anything but sit there in the car and stare?”

“You finally gonna find a real tall cliff —” Benji starts warningly. His keys are in hand as he bounds out the rear screen door, down the path towards the shit rental home’s gravel lot.

“Hateful,” Matilda says. “Ten minutes?”

Benji kicks the driver’s side door in the spot that unlocks it, and slips into the seat. “Uh-huh.”

“Listen to that album I texted you earlier. You’ll like it.” 

“I’ll fucking hate it. Ten.”

“Ten,” Matilda chirps back. She hangs up first. Benji doesn’t hate the album. Won’t tell her that. He loves it, actually — Matilda knows him, and it’s got a good beat that he follows along with. Slaps the wheel a bit too hard, because it wobbles as he backs out and zips down the road.

#writing #ua #bp #mmr #college au

[hardynwa]

Carriers of fake news should stop, Alex Otti says Obi and I are brothers

The Abia State Governor-elect, Alex Otti, has said that those trying to twist his statement about having won an election in the past when he and his friend who doubles as the presidential candidate of Labour Party, Peter Obi, were not in the same party, do not know the extent of their relationship and virility of their bond, which he described as unbreakable and evergreen. Reacting to a trending report quoting him as saying, “I had won election in the past without Peter Obi,” Otti described the report as “headline-induced journalistic sensationalism” geared towards driving social media traffic and drawing needless controversy that would keep the promoters busy. The ex-bank chief in a statement by his Special Adviser, Media and Publicity, Ferdinand Ekeoma, on Saturday, pointed out that the LP presidential candidate will be laughing at those behind the story. He stated, “Obi knows and understands my personality, and knows that I hold him very high, and thus would be laughing at those that twisted my statement in a manner it would look like a denigration of him. “That I almost lost the APGA governorship ticket in 2019 in Abia, was because I had the audacity to defend Obi publicly when I presented facts of evidence to prove that he left the money he claimed to have left behind in Anambra’s treasury while leaving office as governor. This was against the denial by the then-Anambra State government. “Again, my Thisday Column of June 8, 2020 captioned, ‘The Triumph of Profligacy Over Prudence’ was used to celebrate Obi and his leadership style. “As we were not in the same party then, there was no better way to prove that my love, support and appreciation of Okwute has nothing to do with politics. I’m sure he would be laughing over this report, because he’s smarter and thus understands the agenda of those circulating the distorted portion of my interview. “Obi and I have unbreakable bond, therefore those trying to use a news headline to bury the substance of my analogical submission which was made to respond to a question and explain that, outside the massive impacts of the Obi wave, we are on ground in Abia and had won elections twice in the past; are either being misled or are outrightly mischievous.” The LP governor-elect had while responding to a question on whether it was the Obi wave that made him win the election had responded that he won in 2015 and 2019, which were stolen. In 2015, his party also won close to 50 per cent of the House of Assembly seats, an assembly that PDP had always won all the seats since 1999. He was trying to explain the need to be on ground and work hard rather than expecting victory on the wing of a wave. He also explained that when he was joining Labour Party, he wasn’t expecting the Obi wave as he didn’t know Peter was joining the party until a week later. “These are verifiable statements of fact,” he stated. Read the full article

[bakurapika]

i don't want to reblog and actually @ any of the art in particular, but finding bad-/comic-art seems to have whole genres of types of "bad art (i don't know if it sounds bitchier with or without the quotes so i added one quote. you're welcome for the confusion)

this is a blog post in the traditional opining-for-no-reason sense so this is under a readmore

i know it's a bad trend in general to have women all be sexualized without the men getting the same treatment, but we don't get context, so like

genre 1: normal sexy women. im including stuff that is stylized in a way that emphasizes curves/bust/butt but (butt lol) is emphasizing things that look good. by which i mean, it has a clear line of action, you can tell what's going on, but the proportions are intentionally weird or it's apparently chilly out today. like ngl i'm kind of into this look. reminds me of some early-to-mid-00's cartoons. (plus, in that example, the guys are getting the same goofy expressions and poses)

genre 2: abnormal sexy women. this is the michaelangelo approach if, instead of grapefruit, he stuck beach balls on the boobs and butt. it's not a character choice for a woman to be a Sexy Woman - it is the default design, and any angle which does not have boobs and/or butt must be corrected. this is where you get those weird spine issues and strange torso twists and "this body looks normal except her boobs are in antigravity" where the net effect is not sexiness but uncanniness.

i don't think that ONLY the boob/butt thing will put the art into this category though. counter-example, this is boob/butt but (butt) it gives an exaggerated fluidity to the motion imo. it doesn't feel like we're looking at a woman with weird anatomy, but like we're seeing her torso and then seeing her run. the hands being distorted make it feel more like a smear to me. contrast this one, where you can't tell at first if we're even looking at her back or her front. i'm not sure if they drew the hands wrong or maybe this was a crunch time problem or if it was intentional. it's not more anatomically "wrong" but it's confusing instead of conveying its movement in a glance

or this cover where it seems to be a normal, referenced portrait, but with her boobs appearing massive, because the rest of the torso is a little foreshortened but her Boobs Cannot Be Small. the boobs take up the whole thing, they interrupt any sense of movement, and are given as much importance as her face. in fact you wind up with stiffer poses a lot of the time because you're restricted to pin-up appropriate movement.

genre 3: inexperienced or done quickly. things get wonky and off-model in ways that aren't on purpose, and there seems to be no one in the editing process who was willing or able to correct it. im also lumping some stylization in here that doesn't seem intentional, like this one, where the anime-eyes are going against the mood that seems to be otherwise conveyed.

im also lumping in "you can see what they're going for but they couldn't find a reference image" which seems like it might create some of the weird anatomy. like they had to look up a face and a body and it looks badly photoshopped. or like this one i almost think they did some inks on the wrong layer and accidentally colored over it?? children seem to get this issue a lot too, although granted, even baby jesus has that issue for centuries so it might be an age-old problem

genre 4: stylized so much it is hard to see what's going on. this one is even more subjective than the rest, and all art is subjective so whatever. but when the poses get funky or the design is complicated, then you need to really compensate with line weight and careful color choice and composition or else it looks cluttered and weird. at least that's how i would approach that problem but i don't art much. spider-man seems to deal with this the most that i'm seeing so far, although you could probably put the liefeld offenders in here too

genre 5: silly. the art might not even be bad but the expression or pose is silly

genre 6: too detailed in the wrong spots. man muscles. also otherwise non-sexy women who get their nipples shaded in situations that it doesn't make sense, or where other similar shapes aren't detailed. or the faces are lined a lot to make it intense but wind up making the whole thing really dark and hard to parse. (don't @ me about yugioh.......)

genre 7: racist. might be the colorist or the pencils/inks or all. even those that aren't intentionally offensive seem to just not know what non-white people look like

i think the reason im writing all this (and not tagging anyone obv) is because there's not really a point to saying YOUR ART IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD for many of these, esp the off-model ones. i guess im overanalyzing because i want to learn from it?? and maybe articulate to myself why "haha girl sexy" and "oh no boobs too big" get such different emotional reactions from me, and why i don't need to feel bad for thinking girl sexy, and it does not mean i am perpetuating bad boobs. dont accuse me of perpetuating bad boobs :(

#ok bedtime now

[sunset-telepath]

Sophie: Humans are ingenious - they're not a bunch of quitters!

Fintan: You still have faith in humans after logging on to Twitter?

Sophie: ...

Sophie: Touché

#sophie foster #kotlc #kotlc fandom #source: stephen colbert #but I distorted the quote massively #fintan pyren

[ceescedasticity]

coaxionunlimited said: I’m curious about Interlude: Hypatia in medjed can hack your brain, however much or little of it you want to do

Okay, let's see...

Wakaba was never going to get used to accessing cognitive space — the Metaverse — with a phone app. It did not make sense.

I've mentioned this before but there's a fic called, let's see... Sufficiently Deep Magic by shai which includes Futaba trying to work out wtf is up with the app, and which inspired some of the thoughts on it here. Here's a quote from it, Futaba speaking: "“It’s not just that it’s surprising – if some research lab went off and secretly made a machine that could transport people into someone’s subconscious, that’d be surprising! Lots of people would read all the papers written on it and not get it, but it’d make sense that you could do wild stuff with cutting-edge tech. Doing something like that in a mobile app that works on all three major phone operating systems, though, that’s not just unlikely, it’s totally 100% inconceivable. Those systems are known quantities. When you write software to run on them, it can only ask the phone system to do stuff that phones can do: display this picture, make these sounds, get this information off a web page and show the user, make a call, whatever. It chooses from a list of possible things, and literally travel to another dimension is absolutely not on that list.”"

(Accessing it using the rift generator in the lab had been bad enough. Yes, it had supposedly been thoroughly tested, and Wakaba herself had programmed in failsafes in the power supply to shut it down if it ever started using more energy than was necessary for a strictly local distortion — but it was based on tech that almost took out a city.)

(…Or, actually, tech that some experimenters almost took out a city with, and wasn't that just the problem.)

This is a Persona I/II reference -- the DEVA system. I haven't actually played/watched P1 or P2, just read up on them.

(Sometimes she wondered if she would have pursued cognitive psience if she'd realized how very un-theoretical it could get.)

There is just such a massive gap between 'look at this cool math implying that thought is calculable' and 'now we will mind-control the city' or even 'monster summoning time!'

(But the point remained, Metaverse access from a phone app did not make sense, and further investigation had only led to the unavoidable conclusion that it wasn't a phone app, not really, but neither she nor Futaba were ready to say what it was. Futaba had elected not to mention it to the others. Sadly, investigating the source and purpose of a suspicious not-actually-a-phone-app was rather far down their to-do list, since they could at least be confident it had nothing to do with Project Styx.)

They can be confident of that because Wakaba was in Project Styx and knows what they're capable of and this is not included. The canon Thieves really didn't have any reason to be so sanguine about it!

(Honestly the magic painting made more sense.)

It really does.

She probably was going to get used to the way Mementos felt just that little bit more wrong than the museum, and yet simultaneously less… less… she'd find the words. Hopefully before she got used to it.

Mementos is more wrong even at the top because it's closer to Yaldabaoth. It is however less bonkers.

She'd come early with Futaba, Wakaba wanting to take some readings (the sensors were all piled in the hopefully-unnecessary wheelchair, with the tire iron and box of mockotovs), but they still weren't the first to arrive — there was a black silhouette sitting cross-legged on the floor as Mementos solidified around them, though she quickly bounced to her feet. "Oracle, Archive, good morning."

Re the wheelchair -- Wakaba may actually be feeling her real world physical conditions more than e.g. Makoto later in Collateral, or Futaba or Yusuke going well past their usual limits of endurance, because the condition leading to it was in large part cognitive. I'm not sure, though.

"Shade?" Futaba said, surprised. "What are you doing here already?"

"I wasn't sure if it would be a good idea to hang around the station for a long time, in the real world," Shade said. "For… conspiracy reasons?"

"No, I think that's probably fine?" Futaba said, and looked at Wakaba for confirmation.

"It should be," Wakaba agreed. "We don't think they know there's anything special about the location. Why?"

I'm not sure it's a terribly good idea to just sit around in Mementos either, even at the top, but not bad enough to have detectable consequences at least.

Shade was Hifumi Togo — a year older than Futaba and not a time traveler, so not even in high school quite yet. Wakaba felt reasonably well-acquainted with her and her Persona from the museum Palace excursions, on top of their brief meeting in Wakaba's Palace, and Futaba's somewhat disjointed account of the events since regaining her memory and more disjointed account of their interactions with Hifumi in the future. Hifumi liked shogi, science fiction books, and pointing out aspects of the museum that made Madarame look particularly bad, because—

"Apparently I can't be in the house without fighting with my mother this morning," Hifumi said, clearly trying for light but not really succeeding. "I thought she'd accepted the argument that I was focusing on high school for now, but apparently not."

"Oh," Futaba said. "Ugh. Well… hanging around the station is fine, probably. But since you're here, want to help us with these sensors?"

Evidently they were not discussing the Togo household at this time. Wakaba refrained from pushing.

(For the moment.)

Wakaba does have a pretty solid understanding of Hifumi. She would like the chance to try to talk her into doing something about her home life, but clearly the other kids have been getting nowhere.

It took extensive modification to get any kind of audiovisual recording working in the Metaverse, and Wakaba was still trying to recreate what the lab had managed. But the barometer, Geiger counter, and accelerometer all operated, sort of, and observations could be recorded manually. Barometric readings were just slightly higher than you'd expect for Tokyo's elevation, but lower than either of the Palaces she'd gotten measurements from. The accelerometer thought they were in free fall — in the Palaces the gravitational offset had been lower than it should have been. The Geiger counter reported negligible radiation, but who knew what that meant. Wakaba wanted to set up a seismograph — she'd gotten some interesting readings in the Palaces and wanted to compare — but that would have to wait until they weren't on a mission.

Canon has nothing about what any of these instruments would read in the Metaverse -- I made all this up. I didn't make the measurement instruments up, though.

A barometer measures atmospheric pressure, and normally goes down with increasing height (as well as with fluctuations in the weather!). Wakaba was expecting the Metaverse to have lower pressure than the real world, if anything, but the measurements are coming out higher -- just barely at the top of Mementos, to various extents in various Palaces, and if she checks at the bottom of Mementos the barometer will say they're at deep-sea levels. Fortunately none of their bodies seem to agree with the barometer, as no one is getting the bends when leaving Palaces and they don't require a pressurized chamber to survive the depths.

Accelerometers at rest on Earth's surface should read 9.8 m/s^2 up. In free fall they read 0. In Palaces she was getting readings under 9.8 but still up -- as if they were standing on a smaller planet with less gravity. Top of Mementos, free fall. If they take measurements farther down, it will show acceleration down -- as if gravity is in the other direction. None of their bodies think this is happening, either.

So for pressure, real world < top of Mementos < various Palace and Mementos Paths at different levels < Mementos Depths. For experienced gravity, real world > Palaces > top of mementos, which according to the accelerometer is free fall, pseudo-zero gravity > anywhere lower in Mementos, where experienced gravity is getting negative. But, again, this is according to the instruments -- no one feels any of this.

I'm not sure what the seismograph (earthquake detector) readings were showing, but I'm sure they were very interesting.

That's it for now, probably more later.

#start again fic #writing babble

[adifferenttime]

Andrew Ryan vs. Robert House

On almost every House post I make, someone in the notes will reliably reference Andrew Ryan. I totally get it - they look similar, they're based on the same guy, the parallels are so clear that the NV dev team added an achievement for killing House with a golf club - but I think these commonalities tend to engulf both characters, blotting out some of their more interesting ideological/personal differences. It's useful to examine them in relation to one another, but part of that is figuring out what distinguishes them, which is just what I’ve attempted to do.

It's difficult for me to talk about Randian objectivism because I don't think it's sound enough to address on its own terms, but considering this is the philosophy Andrew Ryan has adopted, I kind of have to. What I’d identify as the core premise of Randian ethics is this: altruism is a moral wrong. Some Randians have argued that isn't really what they believe - that the real point is anything resembling altruism is self-interest in disguise - but they're departing from the beliefs of their icon when they make those claims. Per Rand:

The irreducible primary of altruism, the basic absolute is self-sacrifice – which means self-immolation, self-abnegation, self-denial, self-destruction – which means the self as a standard of evil, the selfless as a standard of the good.

The way Rand defines altruism is by linking it to self-sacrifice, which she uses to differentiate it from kindness or benevolence. Aiding others at no cost to yourself is benevolent, but not altruistic, and therefore not evil. Sacrificing your happiness to help another human being is, from Rand's perspective, evil, as is any philosophy that prioritizes the other at the cost of the self. This whole idea has been broadly rejected by most scholars on account of it being really fucking stupid. What justifies the leap from "man is naturally selfish" to "selfishness is good"? If selfishness is moral, wouldn't the most moral behavior be to exploit others through whatever means necessary, favoring force over the market? Rand defines happiness as "using your mind’s fullest power," achievable only when you "do not consider the pleasure of others as the goal," but why is this the only definition? What if your only options are self-sacrificial in nature? How do you weigh them if neither sacrifice is linked to values, individual achievement, or "your mind's fullest power" at all? Rand didn't care because she was too busy trying to ethically justify cheating on her man with her best friend's husband, but nonetheless, this is the philosophy Andrew Ryan’s adopted. He claims that "Altruism is the root of all Wickedness," in what's almost a direct quote from Rand herself.

To that end, Ryan builds a system that doesn’t just accept selfishness but actively incentivizes it. Every other principle he expresses is subservient to the ideas that selfishness rules man, and that for Ryan to act on his own selfish impulses is the highest good in the world. His lesser political principles (individual liberties, negative rights, the creation of a stateless society) don’t matter to him as much as the central precept from which they stem: that selfishness is his moral imperative.

What is the greatest lie every created? What is the most vicious obscenity ever perpetrated on mankind? Slavery? The Holocaust? Dictatorship? No. It's the tool with which all that wickedness is built: altruism.

It doesn't come as a particular surprise to me when he starts imprisoning dissidents or executing rivals or banning theft (standard practice in most societies, but not what an egoist would pursue; if you can get away with taking it, you deserve to have it, or so the thinking goes). I’ve seen him described as a hypocrite, but I don’t think that’s necessarily true considering everything he does is in line with his opposition to altruism. He'll adhere to his other principles only if they don’t sabotage his pursuit of personal power. This is evident in the fact that he only adopts a negative perception of Fontaine when his own interests are threatened, but doesn’t give two shits what Fontaine might be doing to sow conflict and harm people before that point. A guy named Gregory asks Ryan to step in against Fontaine early on before Fontaine's fully established himself as a threat to Ryan's power, and Ryan's extremely blase about it.

Don't expect me to punish citizens for showing a little initiative. If you don't like what Fontaine is doing, well, I suggest you find a way to offer a better product.

Contrast this with how he reacts when Fontaine has risen as a genuine business rival. This is from the log titled "Fontaine Must Go."

Something must be done about Fontaine. While I was buying buildings and fish futures, he was cornering the market on genotypes and nucleotide sequences. Rapture is transforming before my eyes. The Great Chain is pulling away from me.

This double standard is the natural outgrowth of his prioritization of self-interest. If your most deeply-held belief is that you should never give up your interests for others, ancillary rules become flexible in times of personal crisis, and Bioshock makes the case that putting someone like that in charge of a city will leave you with a crumbling, monstrous ruin.

Superficially, House has some similarities. Ryan executes political rivals; House has you blow up a bunker of his ideological opponents. Ryan is the highest authority in Rapture; House is the absolute monarch of Vegas. Their goals and moral codes, though, are almost diametrically opposed. When you ask House why you’re expected to trust him when he’s openly admitting to installing himself as the despot of the New Vegas Strip, he says this:

I have no interest in abusing others... Nor have I any interest in being worshipped as some kind of machine-god messiah. I am impervious to such corrupting ambitions.

Most of his resources are devoted to large-scale, impersonal projects, aimed either at building the power of Vegas or securing his long term goal of “progress” as he sees it. He’s rejected selfishness as a moral good because House is very far from Randian objectivism. He's a Hobbesian monarch.

In that respect, he shares an outlook on human nature with Ryan that I deeply disagree with (that human beings are essentially selfish), but in terms of what that means for the structure of a utopian society, House takes a very different position. From his perspective, human nature breeds suffering, not industriousness, and the only way to stamp out conflict - and, in a post-nuclear age, ensure the continued survival of the human race - is through a strong sovereign. The purpose of a state as laid out in Leviathan aligns very, very closely with the one House expresses.

...the foresight of their own preservation, and of a more contented life thereby; that is to say, of getting themselves out from that miserable condition of war which is necessarily consequent, as hath been shown, to the natural passions of men...

The monarch's successes are reflected in his society and the well-being of humanity as a whole. To subvert his goals is to subvert society's goals, and to doom humanity to the war, death, and suffering that exist in a state of nature. When you destroy his Securitrons/kill him, he doesn't plead for himself or get offended on his own behalf. He accuses you of betraying not him, but mankind.

Single-handedly, you've brought mankind's best hopes of forward progress crashing down. No punishment would be too severe. Fool... to let... personalities... derail future... of mankind? ...Stupid! Slavery... the future of... mankind? What... have you... done?

An important corollary of this idea which again distinguishes House from Ryan appears in Leviathan’s description of the political/moral responsibility of a monarch to his subjects:

...that great Leviathan, or rather, to speak more reverently, of that mortal god to which we owe, under the immortal God, our peace and defence. For by this authority... he hath the use of so much power that, by terror thereof, he is enabled to form the wills of them all, to peace at home, and mutual aid against their enemies abroad.

Hobbes and House give the monarch virtually unlimited power but match it to the monarch's duty, which he lives to fulfill. His obligation is to speak for the people, act for them, and protect them from all threats, internal and external. House generally abides by this, orienting his decisions around his goals for society irrespective of the personal cost (the negative consequences of his actions are a product of his fucked evaluations of what’s best for society, not personal greed). It’s not just a departure from Ryan’s philosophy but a complete refutation of it. He's almost died for what he's misidentified as the greatest good.

Given that I had to make do with buggy software, the outcome could have been worse. I nearly died as it was…. I spent the next few decades in a veritable coma.

This is not the behavior of an egoist. This is the behavior of an extremely arrogant but marginally altruistic (from a Randian perspective lmao) guy. This is some distorted “from each according to his ability” shit if you’ve managed to convince yourself your abilities exceed those of everyone else who has ever lived and that you can get the Mandate of Heaven by being really good at statistics.

The reason these guys develop such similar structures and hierarchies despite the ideological gulfs between them is because both of them are elitists who’ve experienced a massive failure of self-consciousness. They’re unable to conceive of other people as being fundamentally like them. Ryan separates people into the clearly-delineated classes of “producer” and “parasite,” ignoring the fact that everything he’s ever “produced” was reliant on a huge, coordinated effort between workers, architects, accountants, middlemen, and others, all of whom, in conjunction, contributed more to the realization of his dreams that he ever could have alone. Rather than realizing his own position is more parasitic and reliant on other people’s labor than that of anyone else in Rapture, he adheres to his doctrine of selfishness even when it’s not reflective of reality and is ruining the the lives of an entire city of people. He deludes himself into believing he’s a superman among ants instead of one flawed man who is reliant on the goodwill of others to help him survive, as are we all.

House, too, thinks he’s exceptional. Unlike Ryan, he acknowledges the necessity of the worker to a functioning society, but while he’ll accept his reliance on that labor, he doesn’t trust the laborer enough to share political power. House knows he’s invested in humanity’s survival and the creation of a better world, but he refuses to consider that he might not be alone in this goal. He chalks up the existence of the Legion to fanaticism/the ambitions of a sultanistic dictator and attributes everything the NCR has done to greed, without it ever occurring to him that the massive harm these nations have done was partially motivated by the same goals he’s devoted himself to - and that the atrocities he’s committed since his rise to power are, in some respects, very similar. House knows himself to be invested in the well-being of humanity, but he’s too arrogant to ask himself if his methods are wrong or trust other people to build a new path, one that doesn’t necessitate his complete control over the land and people of the Mojave. Ryan and House’s worldviews are distinct, and their flaws, as highlighted by their respective narratives, say some interesting things about how each set of devs view power and the pitfalls of elitism.

Anyway. If you put these two men in a room, they would probably try to murder each other, and I think that’s great.

#Robert House #Andrew Ryan #fallout meta #bioshock meta #fnv #bioshock #fallout new vegas

[happyocelot]

Same anon as before. You’re soooo right though. At the end of the day it shouldn’t be that serious. It’s a fantasy world of fictional characters we like. But they don’t know us because they don’t exist. 💀 it’s okay to hold these characters dear because many of us grew up with them. But at some point it’s just projection and internalizing.

Thanks. I'll just put this under a read more so I don't bore my followers.

Exactly. It's a manga about ninjas. They are seriously not entitled to insinuate awful things about complete strangers because they didn't like Hinata or NH or whatever. What happened with those SNS shippers is this: they started reading and watching Naruto, and liked it. At some point, they believed that SNS should, would, or could become canon. They looked for hints to support this assumption and discredited anything in the manga that could disprove it. They found a group of like-minded fans and kept repeating these words to each other over and over and fossilized their views.

Unfortunately for them, SNS didn't happen, SS and NH happened, and the author said that he had always planned to write SS and NH. This caused massive cognitive dissonance as everything they used to support their SNS assumptions were half-baked and flimsy. Also unfortunately, they were unwilling to revisit their assumptions and consider that maybe, their interpretation of events was wrong. Because their views had already fossilized and fossilized views can't easily be dislodged.

Instead, they doubled down. They were not at fault. Everyone else was. The author, the SS and NH fans, anyone who disagreed with their interpretation of the manga. To that end, they began looking for retroactive reasons to shit on the series, the author, and other fans who shipped something else.

This includes things like selective distortion of quotes. Notice how SNS shippers like cutting down Sasuke's "My one and only friend" quote in the final battle to just, "My one and only" as though they were secret lovers the whole time. Are they...allergic to friendship? Why edit the quote?

Also includes things like calling NH/SS abusive and jump through ridiculous hoops to maintain that SNS was not abusive. We get them saying insane things like how Sasuke trying to kill Sakura is proof that their relationship is bad or unhealthy while making up shit about how Sasuke either didn't want to kill Naruto, or wanting to kill him is proof of tragic, star-crossed love.

More hoop-jumping and mental gymnastics include accusing Hinata of owning slaves, even though that literally never happened, while excusing actual abominable behavior on Sasuke's part, such as wanting to murder every single person in Konoha for the Uchiha massacre, even though the ordinary villagers had nothing to do with it and had no idea what really happened behind the scenes. Tons of justifications for Sasuke's plan to become essentially an evil dictator who wanted to rule the world through fear. They believe that he was really, truly correct, that Naruto was wrong, that everyone was wrong, and that there's a "shinobi system" that wronged him. When in fact, they were wrong in their interpretation, and wrong in their misguided defense of their fave's awful behavior, and ignore that he admitted he was wrong, and made efforts to rectify his behavior. Backed into a corner, they accused Kishimoto of being a bad writer who dropped plotlines and didn't "do justice" to their fave character.

The final straw, as always, is when these SNS fans downplay Naruto's and Sasuke's canon happy marriages. They love writing fanfics where these two cheat on their wives and are secretly lovers, even though Naruto and Sasuke as they appear in the actual series would never, ever do such a thing, because they prize loyalty and bonds so highly.

The series keeps proving them wrong, so, so wrong, that they have to twist things so that up is down and right is left. Ergo, Hinata is a villain, Sakura is a villain, Naruto and Sasuke are miserable, and so on and so forth.

In reality, the only ones who are miserable are them. Because SNS didn't happen and they got unhealthily attached to their ship and their views are far too fossilized to change anytime soon. This whole Hyuuga slavery debacle is just an extension of their discontent. They act like jilted lovers. Their extreme hate and venom is what happens when someone loves something too much and it turns sour.

Like you said, projection and internalizing. Just a reminder to everyone not to get unhealthily attached to fictional characters and develop a sense of entitlement, and to consider, even briefly, other points of view.

#anon #asks

[creatingnikki]

Things I want to remember in 2021

🌺 do not have phone calls that last more than one hour. your brain literally cannot take 4 hour long conversations anymore plus you can have multiple calls in a month with someone instead of one massive never-ending catch up call biannually.

🌺 write your first book’s first draft. you’re going to turn 24 and you’ve attempted this since you were 13. don’t let perfectionism, fear, laziness or good-feel quotes about not putting age limits on goals let you get out of the one thing you say is your life’s goal.

🌺 your goals and worries at this point are not like that of any friend or person you know. that’s literally all of your 20s but especially now. this time is your opportunity to fix what’s broken. only when you do that can you enter back into the whole ambitious career race. until then do what you need to. and don’t feel stressed or shit about it.

🌺 go for therapy. i swear you’ll find a good therapist at some point and it will do you a world of good. not wanting to put your emotions on your family and friends is a good intention but you need help. and you’re fortunate enough to have access. just do it.

🌺 get that baking oven and let yourself fail multiple times at baking things you want to. it’s the only way to be able to get to a point where you can stop asking your friends to bake you stuff and be the one who feeds all you love with soft bread and strawberry shortcake and nutella brownies.

🌺 i know it sounds very basic but yoga is what your mind needs. more than your body really. now you will have the physical and mental space to do it. start your day with it. end your day with it. whatever. just have it be a part of your day.

🌺 friends are important and precious but not as much as you’ve always thought. sorry if it sounds unkind but you can’t invest so much emotionally and otherwise in people hoping that they fill that god-shaped hole in you, or you theirs. have them in the frame of your life but let them be in the background please.

🌺 don’t let anyone shame you for not reading the news or know what horrible thing is happening in the world or being too ‘privileged’ for not attending political protests because unless they are coming and helping you take care of your mental, physical and financial help, they can fuck right off. you know what? they can fuck right off regardless

🌺 going to bed by 11 pm is not something to feel bad about. if you’re able to do that it’s actually a very beautiful thing. it’s not getting older or boring or whatever. it’s listening to your body and mind.

🌺 the light of your laptop and phone literally hurts you after a point. the doctors have said it’s not good anyway. let’s find ways to spend more of our time without screens. first order of business - get your typewriter fixed.

🌺 apply glitter dust to your eyes and learn to play the ukulele even if it seems frivolous because honestly bro that’s just life. if it’s all meaningless and purposeless then do the things that bring you joy.

🌺 but also like don’t give up hope. i know it feels like your life has been put on pause and you don’t know what to do with all this uncertainty but i’ll tell you what not to do - dream small. you can still have everything that you want. you just don’t have to get it all in one year or in one go. patience is a virtue and only time will tell if you have it. i hope you do. if not, attempt. learn.

🌺 put your art out there. no seriously share your writing. do the old school thing and submit it to magazines. to the new thing and self-publish a poetry collection on amazon. or just like share it on your social media. i know it’s got nothing to do with whether or not you’re proud of your work. it’s the fear of people making whatever it is out of your words and hence making whatever out of you. since the two hardly have a distinction. but better they know you than not. people distort your existence anyway. take that risk. don’t wait till you’re dead for people to find your journals and appreciate you.

🌺 everyone tried to merge their 2020 narrative and i get why. but also generally with meme culture and whatever other trendy shit you feel like you have to have the same narrative as others about whatever silly or big thing but you don’t. no matter what the general narrative of 2021 is, focus on your own. be aware of your own. it’s your life and while somethings are relatable you’re a whole being so complex and nuanced.

#note to self #poetryportal #poeticstories #writerscreed #inkstay #writtenconsiderations #flowerais #twc poetry #2021goals #2021 #new year #nye2021 #new year new me #New Year Resolutions #Happy New Year #notes to self #self care #self awareness #self care tips #introspection #prompt lists #writers on tumblr #poets on tumblr #words to live by #creatingnikki

[captainsantiagos]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quiz - Rounds

Hi everyone! Read below for a little rundown of the seven different rounds we will be doing for this quiz. Again, I have to give a massive shout out to the wonderful Niamh @sambergscott and Caroline @nylesniall for their help with the questions. They are AMAZING!

As with last year, I will post on the day of the quiz with some final little tidbits about what you need to know. If you would like to join the quiz, please send me a little message and I’ll forward that link on. Also: Reeshika @andysambrg had an excellent idea of creating a Discord server so that everyone can chat much easier during the quiz on Wednesday. If you would be interested in me setting that up, like this.... message me.... idk. 

ROUND ONE - Who said that line? (credit to Caroline)

There are ten different quotes with four options as to who said the line. 

ROUND TWO - Match the screencap to the episode.

Ten random screencaps with four options as to what episode they come from.

ROUND THREE - Iconic Moments Through The Seasons (credit to Niamh and Caroline)

Ten multiple choice questions about the most iconic moments through the seasons.

ROUND FOUR - The Music of B99

This is the most technological I’ve gotten with these quizzes! This will include audio/video so be prepared for that. There will be 10 questions that ask you to place iconic songs from the show with what episode they were in as well as asking you to finish some of the iconic ‘made-up’ songs from the show.

ROUND FIVE - Recurring Jokes (credit to Niamh)

Ten multiple choice questions about the recurring jokes throughout the seasons.

ROUND SIX - Pixelated Pics

This may be the most..... evil? of rounds. Ten questions using distorted pictures. e.g. Which of the following pictures is Charles? 

ROUND SEVEN - Season 7 (credit to Niamh)

Ten multiple choice questions all about season 7 of B99.

#b99 quiz #brooklyn nine nine #b99 #brooklyn 99

[fakeloveaskblog]

(my heat bRoke in seven different ways reading that oh my god)

hey janus! hi. uh. do you perhaps have a uh nice message for remy? something hopeful, etc etc. just...i really think they need it right now.

‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾

remy. you may be asleep, if so you'll hear this in some weird drug dream, i'm not completely sure right now, nothing seems to be in my control at the moment. i'm just here to remind you that i do have the power to help you.

i have the power to move you and your belongings, you have options, you have friends and you can have hope.

also consider that i can keep virgil extremely safe. i suppose we all can. also, virgil uhm...may need help. whilst it be therapy or more...drastic...measures...he'll be safe under our collective, begrudging, protection.

now please dont feel pressured at all, you are always under your free will and have every right to ignore my stupid face, but at the same time...he hit you! ((and worse but i dont want to overly upset them)) i cant...i cant just sit around and give to inspiring quotes or some shit, that wont do anything. i'm not good at this.

from someone with a trauma packed past, i can help. whatever you need. i dont care if it seems small. please tell me, just...we're all here. for you.

im sorry i havent been very comforting at all. i am, however, learning to sew plushies! or trying to. don't ask the science behind a sewing snail-

-🐌🕸

(>:D)

Tw: drug use, there are like 2 sentences with transphobia in them

Janus looked up from the stack of books he was sorting "A nice message?" He thought for a bit "Well I believe this is a quite well known fact so they might have heard this before, but the body completely renews itself slowly over a 7 year cycle. So it's truly never too late to change since the body never stops changing either. The traces from someone hurting you will disappear, even if it takes time, it will be gone eventually"

They looked like they were about to explode if they didn't get to blurt out this next part.

"Also I miss them a lot and I hope they're feeling okay and I hope they're not going through a flare up and every time I walk past a bakery I get the urge to go in and buy them a bunch of tasty lil cute cakes...Yeah"

They set the books back into the bookcase before suddenly stopping midmotion and turning to you.

"Wait- Why would Remy need that sort of message right now? Are they okay? Please tell me they're okay"

--

Remy wasn't asleep but they sure were high. They were sitting on the floor in the living room with the side of their head leant against the coffee table. Some ketamine had smeared down onto their lips. Their skull felt like it was filled with a bunch of very very small fireworks all going off constantly. They could almost see the lights in front of them.

It also gave them a massive headache, but they couldn't feel it so it was fine. They couldn't feel the joint pain or the aching around their neck or the bruises on their body. The sounds coming from the kitchen was far away and so distorted it was making them giggle.

They'd woken up at around 5 this morning to puke. They'd found new bruises around their neck and wrists and Virgil babbling on about how he had to go visit his parents and they had had exactly 0 memories of what had happened the night before. They didn't ask about it. Maybe it was for the best not to remember. Even if it was making terror run up their spine just thinking about how they didn't know.

When they saw your shell sticking up on the other side of the table soon followed by your big eyes they managed to let up into a smile. A small pool of warm snail goo came onto the table and they gladly dunked their tired eyes right into it.

"something is always in your control babey” They replied as your message began “You can control whenever the fuck you wanna like smile. or like shoplift. very important! remember that! never lose hope!!" Their voice was much higher than usual.

Their smile went stale as you brought up how to help. They sunk in a little on themself.

"I-" They hesitated "Viv- Virgil making sure we're away from each other for a few days is a good sign isn't it? Maybe he'll change! maybe everything will like go back to normal! He loves me and I love him and-" His threat about killing himself echoed in their mind "And I'm so scared"

They moved a little closer and leant their head against your shell. Just being near you made the deep fog in their mind light up a little for just a moment. For a moment they remembered how Virgil acted even before strangling them. The dismissive silences. The deafening yells. The constant minimizing until they were too afraid to ask something as simple as help in getting out of the shower.

They wondered if there even was a "normal" they wanted to go back to.

"I need a pen" They whispered to you.

Within seconds a pen had appeared in their hand. They scribbled down on the inside of their wrist a few quick words about what you'd just said.

"Sorry I'm like really really stupid right now. Even more stupid than usual. If I don't write it down I'm like def gonna forget" They mumbled this next part to themself "hope...i can have...hope"

They hesitated to write down that they had friends that could help. They put the pen down and looked to you.

"You sure I have friends?....I mean....I mean I know Jannie likes me...but" Their shoulders started to shake "What if Viv is right about them. What if they only want me for- for THAT!? And Remus- I haven't spoken to him for months! What if he's like forgotten about me! Or has stopped giving a shit about me at all! I bet that if I like tried to call him it would be like super awkward and he would wanna hang up like immediately and like avoid me for the rest of forever!! Ugh I've screwed it up! I've lost him haven't I! And-"

They turned to look to the kitchen.

"Well I haven't asked him. I don't know if he counts as a friend yet. I hope he does"

They shook their head and turned back to writing on their skin. A breathe of relief left their lips when they heard you could keep Virgil safe. They wrote that up on their wrist as well.

"Oh babey you don't got a stupid face, and you are good at this I tots promise you that. You feel real safe and like soft even if like 75% of you is like a super hard shell....Sometimes I....Sometimes it's good to hear someone say the quiet parts out loud....like just hearing someone say that Viv....that he hit me.....it makes me feel less like....insane....overemotional...and all that stuff....it makes it.....real.......it has to be real if i leave...If"

Remy reached out and held their hand gently against one of your snail eyes.

"Sweetie I'm sorry to hear 'bout your past. You didn't deserve any of it, that I'm sure of. If you're ever up for like a hug or anything just tell me. I might be a stick but I could probs fit you in my arms"

After you had asked if there was anything you could do to help they thought for a bit.

".....this is probs a stupid thing to ask....but could you somehow make it so one of the doors is lockable?....the bathroom is closest to the exit door so maybe that one? it would help with...with me feeling safe.."

They fumbled with their thumbs a little. It felt so silly to ask these kinds of things.

"And- And oh god you're gonna think I'm so fucking stupid for letting this happen but..but i don't know where like....all of my documents and stuff are.......i don't know where my credit card is.....where the doctor's note i need to take out my meds are.......i think Viv has them somewhere...he said i was unstable and stupid and that it was better if he took care of those kinds of things...I like obviously need that stuff if I'm gonna leave so uhm could you somehow like gather them up? I got a bag hidden in the closet, could you put them in there please?"

They hesitated before saying this last bit.

"Could you...This might be a big thing to ask....But....If I- If I l-leave....could you make sure Viv got therapy? Even if you have to force him there? Please it would...It would make me sleep bet-"

The door to the kitchen swung open and the man who functioned as Remy's dealer came out with a big plate.

"And here they are. All done. My wonderful empanadas"

He was about the same height as Remy but had a broader stature and a normal amount of muscles, making him look like a jacked beast in comparison to them. He had half long strawberry blond hair tied in a lazy ponytail. Light red freckles were scattered all over his face down to his shoulders and his brown eyes bordered on hazel. He had stick and poke tattoos all over his left arm and his clothes constantly smelt like cigarette smoke.

He made Remy scoot over before sitting down on the couch. They immediately curled up against his side and mushed their face against his arm.

"thanks for like coming over to help while Vivs away" They mumbled out.

"It was no bother really"

Remy took one of the empanadas and tried it. They got the urge to spit it out immediately afterwards. "Girl this tastes like shit"

The dealer snickered "Sorry. Seems like I lied about the wonderful part. I learnt the recipe from my ex. She told me they tasted good"

"Then she was a liar"

He moved his hand down to gently stroke his thumb against their cheek "Is the ket helping with the pain?"

"Mhm, thanks"

Surprising exactly no one Remy had gotten attached incredibly quickly to the dealer as soon as Virgil had allowed them to text him whenever they wanted. Only being with their abuser for most days was so isolating that every time the dealer had texted them it had felt like being washed over by a wave of comfort. It reminded them they were a real person and not just Virgil's partner.

Remy let him decide on a movie they could watch while eating. He took some bloody slasher from the 70's and laughed during every killing scene. Meanwhile Remy covered their eyes and cuddled closer to his warm skin to try and hide how they were shaking. He moved his arm around them and played with the loose parts of their hair.

Halfway through the movie he ran out to buy them both some chips and ice cream because neither of them had been able to finish any substantial amount of those horrid empanadas.

The credits were running when Remy let their head rest in his lap. They scratched at his tiny blond beard to annoy him. He just rolled his eyes and let them keep at it.

"Girlie-"

"Do I look like a girlie to you?" He replied "You need prescription contacts"

Remy laughed "I'm just...I'm just wondering bout stuff"

"You becoming a philosopher over here?"

"No. Im just...if I ever had to like leave suddenly...I'm like wondering if you would...If you would be okay with me like staying at your place for a while? I'm just like checking my options"

A soft look came over his face. His lips dragged up into a small smile "Of course I'd let you stay. For however long you want. Though my apartment is kind of a shithole. Just a warning"

"Girl we got rats in the shower here. I ain’t looking for a 5 star hotel"

His brows furrowed just a bit in worry. He let his finger lightly run across the bruise around their neck "Is there any reason you would want to leave?"

It took all of their power to not flinch away "Girl oh my gosh!!! Don't be so like tots silly!!!!" They replied in a forcibly higher pitch "There ain't no reason!!! I'm just like uh I just enjoy sleeping around!! You know me!! Sleeping around in uh people's uh beds!! Y'know my body is like toooottttsss fucked up. I bruise like soooo easilllyyyyyyy. Me and my Vivsie can't do annnnnything interesting in bed without me looking like I was halfway to getting murdered!!"

He didn't look convinced. He only let out a short "Sounds rough"

"It is!!"

He scooted them away again and got up "Actually Remy I've been meaning to give you something"

Remy giggled to themself "Is it a hard cock? JUST Kidding!!! ONly kidding!! I couldn't like help myself. Also I'm high on ketamine"

"You are, exactly. And this thing mixed with ket is great I promise" He went out to the kitchen and got a glass of water. Obviously it wasn’t just a normal glass of water "It isn't dangerous to mix it. I know this kind of stuff so you don't have to worry your pretty little head about it. Okay?"

"Okay"

He sat down close to them and held the glass up to their lips. They put their hand on top of his and met his eyes as they drank. The water tasted weirdly salty, almost bitter.

"It might take a bit to set in" He said as he put the glass aside.

He moved his arm around their shoulders and put on a short horror film while they waited. When Remy started to go numb in his arms and their eyelids started to go down he let them lean their head against his thigh.

"You feeling okay deary?" He asked.

They opened their mouth to respond and this exact slurred mess came out "i gho lekuf fkty"

They shook their head and blinked repeatedly to try and clear their head but somehow the fireworks still going off in their mind had turned hazy and blurred. A fog surrounded them.

"Oh wow. That started acting FAst. You've never been on that before huh"

"i fheel so so blur" Remy managed to get out.

"Mhm. I wasn't lying about letting you stay at my place but I do have some questions. I'll start with the easy one. What's your real name? 'Cause I’m sure 'Remy' isn't"

"....remington" They replied after a few seconds as if they actually had to think about it.

"No. No deary I mean your original name. Your birth name"

Remy stared up at him with a confused look for a long while before slurring out their deadname.

"Thanks deary. That does suit you better. It's such a shame" He ran his hand up and down their arm "You're such a pretty boy"

He ran his hand down to their bruised wrist and held it up to look at the now purple skin.

"You want to tell me why you actually got these bruises?"

Remy's eyes were half closed as they shook their head.

"Oh c'mon deary. I'm only asking because I'm worried. I care about you"

Just trying to think was giving Remy a headache. Their jaw was almost slack as they started to slur out "vivssie virgegil he strangel and he-"

They went on explaining the bruises. Explaining exactly what had happened. Tears went down their cheeks just talking about it but they didn't notice. Until their eyelids turned too heavy to hold open.

--

The birds were singing outside and the sun was blinding by the time Remy woke up. They were so sweaty their body was sticking to the couch and their head felt like it had been filled with cotton. As soon as they even tried to turn their head intense nausea filled their entire throat.

A blanket had been laid over their slightly twitchy body. A bucket had been set right by the couch and on the coffee table was a glass of orange juice along with a sandwich and a note.

Remy saw your snail eyes sticking up right beside the couch and they shone up into a relaxed smile.

"Babey, you're still here. Right we were-"

It felt like a shot of lightning came down into their skull as they tried to remember the previous night. All they could piece together was hazey memories of your conversation and then the dealer stepping into the room. After that everything was just....Blank.

They reached out and took the note. It was sweet and short. Telling them to have a good breakfast and saying sorry for him having to hurry off to work. Lastly there was a short explanation about how Remy had apparently told him about their sleeping problems last night and he'd gotten them some sleeping pills which they hadn't reacted well too. So if they were feeling groggy or nauseous that was why.

Remy pressed the note close to their chest and smiled. When they saw the way you were looking they blushed a little.

"Babey don't look at me like that! I ain't crushing! He's like over 30 which is like right at the edge of the age I could even consider. I'm only enjoying having a friend okay" They weren't lying.

They saw their wrists and the scribbled down notes on it. They froze just a little. Their gaze landed on the door leading out of the apartment. They were all alone. Nothing was stopping them. If they wanted to they could just...leave.

"You can keep Viv safe. You can make sure he stays safe. You can make sure me leaving doesn't break him" They mumbled to themself.

They gritted their teeth together and sat up in the couch.

"Oh but what if- No Viv won't change- But he's trying- But he has hurt me for years- Maybe I can survive through it if I got a locked door to hide behind- I shouldn't have too survive! But I love him!"

Remy crumbled in on themself. Their hands tangled into their hair and they leant forward so their forehead leant on the couch. Tears started to pool at the edges of their eyes.

Angry tears.

"I'm so tired of having to fucking survive! I'm so tired of having to fucking love him!"

They gripped onto their cane and forced themself up on their shaky legs. Every step made whimpers from pain leave their lips. The furious tears rolled down their cheeks.

"I'm so tired of this shitty apartment! I'm so tired of having my cane taken from me! I'm so tired of my actual physical fucking pain being ignored!"

They leant their other arm onto the hallway wall as they forced themself forward.

"I'm so tired of having to drag myself out of the shower! I'm so tired of him treating every single one of his insults like jokes! I'm so tired of him thinking fucking will fix every one of our issues! I'm so tired! I'm so tired! I'm so fucking tired!"

Remy held their hand against the door leading out of the apartment. The wood was cold against their skin. The key was sitting in the lock. All they had to do was turn it and they could leave. Nothing was stopping them. No one was stopping them.

Their breathe stopped in their throat. They couldn’t breathe. It turned into hyperventilating. Their whole body started to shake and they couldn’t breathe! 

"I'm....I'm so weak"

The tears had dried on their cheeks. They leant their forehead against the door and collapsed onto their knees. The cane fell down against the ground behind them.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You- You've all been trying so hard an-and I stay pathetic and weak and I can't even open a door" They banged their forehead against the wood "I can't even open a fucking door!"

Remy moved their arms around themself and closed their eyes as tightly as they could. The hyperventilating didn’t stop.

"I'm so weak and pathetic and stupid and I'm so scared of who am I without him. I'm so scared of not loving him. I'm so scared of leaving him just to discover that Jan- That Rem- That I have no one who loves me left"

Every bruise on their body ached. Their neck ached. They wrists ached. Their cheek ached. Every little fingerprint Virgil had left on them ached.

"My dad abused me. He hit me all my childhood...And now...And now Virgil is...What if I'm just made for this? What if I was born to- to be used- to be some thing people can take their anger out on- What if I leave and- and I end up in another- What if I just keep being abused? What if it doesn't matter if I leave? Maybe Virgil is the best I'll ever get? Maybe people can just instantly tell I'm made for this- what if- What if Janus takes me in and then- and he starts- he uses me as well? There's no end to it. I'm made for it. It doesn't matter. I'm just too weak. I can't do this. I can't. I can't!"

#(remy uses babey completely platonically btw) #the mental image of a snail hard at work sewing is so funny fdhjkhk #thanks for the ask mdude <3 #ask #🐌🕸️ #it feels like the dealer was just veery randomly inserted in here #sorry #it will uhhh make more sense later why hes here??? hopefully