#but because people treated him like one. and youre built by those around you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xveenusx · 3 months

Text

Wanted

Paring(s): JJ maybank x fem!reader

Summary: in a world where someone had everything, she still got treated like she was nothing. all she wanted was to be wanted.

Authors note: I wanted this piece piece to be as real as possible. It's not simple, its messy. We've all gone back to that one person we know we shouldn't just because being alone seemed worse. Also she gets absolutely railed so that helps. So please be kind to her lmfao.

Rating: smut, 18+, mdni, ANGST

Song rec: making the bed by olivia rodrigo

Part 1: Guilty

Bored.

I was so incredibly bored. I leaned against the built in bar as I watched Topper and Kelce take body shots off some tourists they invited. The loud bass of the music did little to tune out the annoying voice of Amy Culpo, who stood next to me, and rattled on about my mother’s latest line.

“I mean, it’s absolutely stunning.” I know it is. I was there when she designed it. “Any chance you have tickets to her next show?”

Ah, there it was. The brutal truth he reminded me of all those months ago. Every interaction was a strategic move to climbing the next prong on the social ladder. Everyone always wanted something.

I used to fight that notion. I thought I was better than them because I actually cared about other people. My wealth did not define me nor how I treated other people, but despite every effort I made both before and after him, I realized none of it mattered.

I couldn’t escape my wealth. It was permanently engraved into my body and no matter how hard I tried to scrub, it wouldn’t go away. I’ve now fully embraced that ugly truth and decided that I might as well use it to my advantage. I almost always had something that others wanted and I just had to figure out what they were willing to give. I didn’t need any more money, but there were things that were far more valuable. Favors, tickets to the hottest openings, plane rides. Since everyone already saw me as a spoiled little rich girl, I might as well play the part.

‘Depends. Are those last season MIU MIU?” I asked, tossing a look at the shoes on her feet.

“There from the season before-“ I pulled a face at her words. Before last season? I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything last season let alone the season before.

“Oh honey, if those are two seasons old, then I highly doubt you have anything I want.” The shocked look on her face dulled the aching pain that seemed to permanently reside in my chest.

“I can charter a plane-“

I raised my hand to silence her. “You don’t have your own?”

What was she even doing here?

This was a new little project of mine. I tossed away all those societal niceties that did little for me in the end. I still couldn’t get anyone to stay. This was much more fun. You’d be surprised by how much stuff you could get away with if you cut out all the bullshit.

Amy’s cheeks flushed red and maybe once I’d have felt bad or be disgusted by how I was treating her but I was numb. I realized nothing really mattered. Whether I was nice or rude, people all wanted the same things from me. At least this way, I could armor myself.

“There’s my pretty girl.” Warm hands curled around my waist, tugging me against a hard body.

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't his anything, Rafe knew that but he’s always had a flare for the dramatics. Tom Ford’s Noir de Noir filled my nose as I swatted at his hands, hands that I’ve grown quite familiar with.

“You left me.” I shot him a bratty look, one he met head on with a smile. Amy still stood there awkwardly, clearing her throat in an obvious attempt to gain my attention.

I turned around in Rafe’s arms, debating my next move. Almost immediately his chin came to rest on the top of my head while his arms curled around my front.

My eyes shot one last distasteful look at her outfit, before tossing out my arm in the opposite direction. “Shoo.”

She huffed before stomping away but not before shooting me one final glare. A look that would have made me cry before, but now it simply dinged off the impenetrable armor I’ve suited myself with.

“I was hoping it’d build character, but clearly that didn’t work.” I could hear the smile in his words as he pressed a kiss on the top of my head.

“The entire conversation was dull. She didn’t even have a jet, plus her shoes were two seasons ago.” I shuddered in disgust. Could never be me.

Rafe clutched his chest in mock disgust,”Not two seasons.”

I let out a huff, my chest going warm at the teasing glint in his eye.

There was no spark. There were no butterflies. Just familiarity and warmth. It was safe. We both knew what this was and expected nothing more. For now, we were just having fun. Despite the fact that I spent most nights at his place and rarely found myself without him.

I’ve found somewhat of a friend in Rafe. Someone to share the burden of being from a family like ours. He understood me. He enjoyed shiny things just as I did.

We spent a lot of our time going to the mainland because the idea of running into him still sent me to my knees. This was a small island. One that he was spending all his time running around with her instead of me. Rafe never said a word about it, never mentioned his sister or her pogue friends. And for that, maybe I do love him a little.

“You make fun of me now, but you’d still be wearing polo shirts and plaid shorts if it weren’t for me.” My hands smooth down the front of his linen light blue shirt, the first several buttons open paired with some black Gucci slacks and a black belt from Dolce & Gabbana. He no longer looked like a frat douche but a member of upper class society.

The same can’t be said about his friends.

“C’mon. Top and Kelce want us over there.” Rafe grasped my hand and tugged me in the direction of drunken yells. I pursed my lips but trudged behind him. The idea of being thrown up on was less than appealing, but being by myself was even less appealing.

“Hey guys.” Rafe nodded at them, taking a seat on the adjacent couch, a table with all sorts of drugs littered on it in between them.

The pair of them were obliterated, both their pupils blown wide and their speech slurred. That didn’t stop them from tossing me a sloppy grin and shouting a greeting.

The spot next to Rafe was vacant but on the other end was a couple gnawing each other's faces off that had me scrunching my nose up in disgust. He surely didn’t expect me to sit next to that?

He didn’t even bat an eye, instead Rafe patted his lap, tugging at my hand to sit down. “Wanna drink, baby?”

I nodded, deciding to once again indulge. It was better than feeling that stabbing pain that burned in my chest. It was a horrible solution but one that Rafe always supported, in fact he often took part in self-destructing with me. We were done with trying to be perfect for parents who couldn’t give less of a fuck.

A red solo cup with a familiar yellow concoction was waved in front of me. The pungent scent of tequila burned my nose and I shot him a secret smile. Rafe’s blue eyes narrowed in on me, glued on my smile before he shook his head in amusement.

“That’s the kinda night we’re going for?” He asked, his hand slowly gripping my thigh.

“Unless you don’t want to?” I sighed dramatically, pushing his dark blonde strands back from his face, something I knew he loved.

“If I ever say no to that question, feel free to shoot me.”

A giggle escaped my lips as I tapped my cup against his before bringing it to my lips, tilting my head back and zeroing it out.

The tequila left a burning trail down my stomach that I welcomed. It meant I was one step closer to not feeling anything at all.

“Another?” Rafe’s eyes pointed at my now empty cup and I nodded.

Being responsible was so overrated.

Lifting his hand up, almost immediately two younger boys, about 16, appear. Rafe pointed at me, muttering something before the pair nodded and took off.

I raised my eyebrow at him, confused.

He just shrugged, leaning forward to touch the golden pendant that hung from my neck. “I promised them tickets to the Charleston basketball game if they did whatever I said.”

“Why?”

“I was bored,” He hummed in response,”This is new, it’s pretty..”

I smiled back at him, the very picture of nonchalance, before replying,”Thank you. You bought it for me.”

His ocean eyes rested on me, the infatuation clear as day that had my stomach clenching. “Course I did. I have great taste.”

Rafe gave me his card about two months ago, not that I needed it, but he enjoyed taking care of me and I didnt mind. Plus, whenever he made me mad, I made sure to run the bill up, hoping for some type of reaction but it only left him amused.

Nerves gnawed at my stomach at the intense eye contact. Maybe the lines have blurred slightly. Clearing my throat to try and break the tension, I tossed my hair over my shoulder. “Want to see what else you bought me?”

“Enlighten me.”

I flashed him my freshly manicured nails, “What do you think?”

Rafe caught my hand, a half smile painted on his face, and kissed it. “Is that passion pink?”

“It’s actually bubblegum blush.”

“Beautiful, baby. I love it.” His words burned into my chest.

It was hard to describe. His approval had butterflies thrumming in my stomach. Maybe it was because we were stuck in similar situations, but his approval suddenly meant something to me. Being with him meant I wasn’t alone.

“You know we’re right here, right?” Topper's voice cut through the tension and I let out a laugh, relieved to look away.

“Fuck off.” Rafe laughed, regaining his composure as well.

Topper leaned forward holding out a black AMEX for me to take. My eyes paused on the card before shooting him a flat look.

“Are you kidding?”

Topper gave me a blank look, not a thought behind those eyes.

I rolled my eyes and stuck my nose up in mock outrage. “Rafe does it for me.”

The annoyed look on Topper’s face sent a thrill through my body. He was the easiest to rile up and Rafe knew it as he hid his chuckle with a quick cough.

The hand on my bare thigh slowly drew circles, the action almost unconscious, which had my brain blanking. It was a relief to not think. To not remember. To not feel.

“Are your hands broken?”

“No. I’m too pretty.” I shrugged, batting my lashes at him.

Topper openly scowled at me, his eyes dropping to where Rafe’s hands held me tightly. “What happened to the nice little girl who cried about everything?”

“Lay off.” Rafe snipped, leaning forward and snatching the AMEX out of his hand. His movements were quick and precise, with ease that only came with experience.

He separated the coke into three lines, one for me and two for him, just like always.

Bending over, I snorted the line quickly. Turning to hand Rafe the hundred dollar bill, his fingers dust off any remaining powder off my nose, before he bent over and did the same.

I leaned back into Rafe, the mixture of the tequila and the sting of the coke had me feeling sublime. It was a perfect balance. The alcohol got me warm and buzzed while the coke kept me awake and alert, an upper and a downer, a perfect description for every emotion in my body.

“I grew up.”

Topper hummed. “You certainly did.”

For the next hour, my mind never drifted to him. I enjoyed having thoughts that were my own, that didn’t revolve around him. Instead, my thoughts focused on the man below me. Rafe was always touching me. Even more so than usual, his hand never left my body once. If I let go of his hand to reach for my drink, he’s just moved it to my thigh. It was almost possessive which was odd, we didn’t do possessive.

Every couple moments, he’d pause in the middle of a conversation to press small kisses anywhere his lips could reach. It seemed performative, but I just couldn’t prove it.

“You’re thinking too hard.” His hot breath hot against the shell of my ear.

I said nothing for a moment before licking my lips and muttering,”Are you okay? You seem more clingy than usual?”

He just nodded, pulling me to his hard chest, his eyes darting to the side. “I just like having you with me.”

The sentiment was sweet and my heart tugged at his words. But, I couldn’t let go of the feeling that I was missing something. “I like having you with me too.” I allowed myself to give him a sliver of vulnerability, something I’ve avoided like plague, because it was true. He made living just a bit easier.

My head began to spin as I felt the lines of our odd friendship begin to blur. I knew neither of us would admit the sudden shift but it was there. I could tell with each lingering gaze and those secret touches. Maybe there was something here. I just had to give in.

“I’m glad you came to your senses,” He responded, but once again his eyes are not on mine but darting around me.

“What does that have to do with anything?” My voice comes out hushed, hoping it would get him to lower his voice.

My smile from his previous confession dimmed. Nerves slowly began to surface as I tried to read between the lines.

“You do belong with me, at least that's what you scream every night, isn’t that right baby?” He was boasting, loud enough to have his boys give him lame-ass high fives.

The small burst of happiness curdled like old milk in my stomach. I wasn’t a prude, not by a long shot, but I was a private person. Rafe knew this and he was still flaunting our private moments in a way that made me feel dirty.

“Stop talking about me like that.” I said, “What’s gotten into you?”

I felt Rafe go rigid under me. Frowning, I tilted my head back to make sure he was alright but his eyes were glued ahead.

“Rafe, I’m here for my stuff. Where did you say you put it again?”

My head turned and my stomach did a backflip. Sarah stood at the entrance of the room, looking immensely uncomfortable.

John B stood behind her, his big brown puppy-like eyes widened at the sight of me on Rafe’s lap. Or maybe it was because of the coke laid out in front of me?

But wherever he was, JJ wasn’t far behind. John B whispered something in Sarah’s ear, her eyes jumped to me for a split second before returning to his. She nodded and John B made a beeline for the other room.

I let out a choked laugh. I’m sure he was going to report back to his little lap dog. What were they even doing here in the first place? It’s not like Rafe knew-

My brain clicked into place. The constant need to touch me and the over the top PDA was because he was here. Rafe knew he was here and wanted to rub it in his face.

Rafe’s words were never for me. They were for him.

None of this was real. Not the endearing names, not the proclamations of affection. An ice bucket of realization poured over me and I felt like a fool. A fool for thinking that somebody else could want me, could maybe even love me.

Fuck this. Fuck both of them.

“You knew.” I accused, shoving his hands off of my body.

Rafe said nothing, but the flicker in his eyes gave him away. I wasn’t safe with him either. Embarrassment oozed into me, the feeling painstakingly familiar. We agreed to never make each other feel this way since our parents did it enough, but he did it to me.

Don’t think. Don’t feel.

Snatching the cup out of his hand, I forced it down, gulp by gulp, wincing at the burn. Straight tequila. “Babe-“

“Shut up.” I hissed, moving off his lap and shoving Topper to move over. Everyone always wanted something from me.

They never just wanted me.

Maybe I was defective. I had to be.

JJ didn’t love me when I was me. When I cared about other people and sacrificed pieces of my happiness for them.

Rafe didn’t love me now. When I was a spoiled brat who treated everyone like a transaction.

It didn’t matter if I was nice or a total raging bitch. Either way, I couldn't get anyone to love me.

I was just the stepping stone they used before they found the person they really wanted to be with. I was just there to make them feel good about themselves. For them to take and take just to toss me aside when they were done. Leaving me a shell of a person with no one, not even myself.

I guess, I was impossible to love.

“Line it up, Topper.”

“Can I at least get a please?”

“Be lucky that I’m even talking to you.”

Topper scoffed but did what I asked, lining up two lines of chalky white powder. “There you go, princess:”

A rolled hundred dollar bill was held out in front of me. Plucking it out of his fingers. I bent over the table. Don’t think. Don’t feel.

Dragging the cylinder bill down the crystal snow powder I’ve grown to love, I inhaled deeply. The chemicals flowing through the nose. I could practically feel the coke dissolving into my bloodstream, my body vibrating in response.

Dropping the bill on the table, I tilt my head back, begging my brain to shut off. I closed my eyes and chose to focus on the beat of the music that had my heart thrumming in my chest.

Then it happened.

All the air in the room was sucked up. The hair behind my neck stood up and my body suddenly awakened in a way it hadn’t in months.

My body recognized him before my brain did. The moment I opened my eyes, his eyes clashed with mine.

JJ.

It was like seeing him for the first time, a memory I thought I would never get the chance to feel again.

Heavy set blonde brows framed his bright blue eyes beautifully, the strong cut jaw that was currently clenched, and his lips soft and pouty, tightly pressed in a flat line. This face, his beautiful face, wouldn’t be complete without some mark. A bruise, a soft purple and yellow hue, decorated his cheek bone. His bottom lip busted.

He was so beautiful.

My body reacted before my brain could follow. I stood up quickly, too quickly that the blood rushed to my head and the room seemed to spin.

God, he was beautiful. And I fucking hated him for it. He was supposed to be like me, a complete and total mess, but instead, he looked the same, even better actually.

That thought alone had me ready to jump off the balcony.

My movements were clumsy and I drunkenly stumbled while standing still, his eyes clocking that in seconds.

Despite the loud music, I noticed the silence coming from the couch.

My eyes jumped to Rafe. All the laughter around us died off and everyone was exchanging nervous looks. It didn’t take a genius to read the room and the situation I’ve somehow managed to put myself in.

Blue eyes flickered between the two of us. It cracked my chest open wide and opened the floodgates I’ve been trying so hard to keep closed.

The crushing inescapable weight of shame hit me first. I was plastered, obviously so, and high as a kite. The evidence of what I’d been doing displayed out in front of me like a flashing sign. And I was fucking the one guy he hated.

It was unreasonable, I know. He left me and even pushed me in the direction of the one guy he hated and yet, I was the one feeling bad. He hasn’t even opened his mouth yet and it’s been turned onto me. But love never makes sense. It made the most sane people lose every coherent thought, I was the prime example.

“You should probably go, bro.” Rafe said, his tone was anything but.

He moved from his spot on the couch and stopped beside me. Rafe shoved a hand in one pocket while the other reached for mine, but I folded my arms across my chest. Mostly because I was mad at him, but a part of me didn’t want JJ seeing that.

JJ didn’t spare him a second glance.

He had on a dark blue short sleeve button down shirt with black cargos and chunky black boots on his feet. A backwards red hat settled nicely on the blonde mass of wavy hair and his shark necklace hanging against the exposed part of his chest.

It was so JJ. All of it, right down to the colorful bracelets that littered his wrists.

A hand grasped my chin and tilted up. I held my breath. His fingers slid along my jaw and he rubbed his thumb over the skin. His eyes felt like lasers, honing in on every detail of my face.

I swallowed audibly. JJ leaned in closer, bringing his height down to mine. His thumb brushed a soft stroke below my nose while his lips brushed against my ear.

“You had a little something on your nose.”

JJ let go of my face, his expression hard. Then he brushed past me, leaving a gaping wound in his wake.

Tears burned behind my closed eyes. He didn’t need to say it because I already knew what he was thinking. Sure, JJ smoked some weed but he never touched any of the hard stuff, not wanting to pick up the same habits as his dad. Hard drugs were a hard limit for him and he found me snorting several lines of it.

I went and became the very thing he hated, just like he wanted. It didn’t feel as satisfying as I thought it would. Instead, I felt like I lost another piece of myself.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I said to Rafe, finally gathering the courage to open my eyes.

He shuffled beside me. “Him being here wasn’t going to change anything.”

We both knew that was a lie.

“It’s him, Rafe. It changes everything for me.”

Rafe scoffed and shook his head. “You’re really going to try and go back to that?”

“I’m not saying that-” I spluttered out, outraged as his voice continued to carry across the room.

“He didn’t want you.”

People around us began to whisper, their heads huddled together with their phones out. Wet hot tears threatened to fall as the control I took months to master began to unravel.

“Yeah, well you don’t either.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Before he got here, everything was perfect.”

“I’m not stupid. You think I didn’t notice what you were doing? That wasn’t for us, that was for him.”

“I didn't mean for you to think I was using you-“

I gripped his chin, and pulled his face down to my height, my eyes brimming with angry tears. “You don’t use me. I use you.” I shoved his face back, needing to collect my composure.

Everyone’s eyes were on us and I was desperate to save face. It was the only thing I had left.

“Get the fucking picture?”

“Crystal clear.” He responded through gritted teeth, his eyes hard.

“If you want a whore, go buy one.”

Rafe cleared his throat, his face iced over. “I thought that’s what I was already doing.”

I stood there for a moment, not understanding what I did to deserve to be treated like this by not one man but two. I felt like an idiot. Like the stupidest fucking person on this god forsaken planet.

Two hours ago, I thought that maybe Rafe had feelings for me and played with the idea of exploring that with him. And now, I was a gold digging whore.

I felt another piece of my heart break off, mourning the loss of the only friendship I really had.

Pressing my hair down with my hands, I look down to fix my dress, swallowing as I went, hoping to pull myself together and buy some time.

“I’m glad to hear how little you think of me.” I sent him a sad smile,” I guess I’m keeping up with everyone’s expectations.”

I stepped around him, heading to the direction of the bar, the adrenaline from all the excitement having effectively killed my buzz.

Staring at the bottles of liquor on the counter had me frowning, all being some bottom shelf brand I’ve never heard of. I moved around the bar to the cabinets behind it, looking for the good tequila. It was the least Rafe could do seeing as though he just blew up whatever the fuck we were doing.

Spotting the only tequila I drank, I grabbed the entire handle. Twisting the top off, I tossed it aside carelessly before taking a healthy swig. Then another. And another.

I stumbled into another room, shoving people out of my way. I ignored the angry shouts because I was way past the point of caring. I just-I just wanted to see him.

As if someone heard my thoughts, I spotted JJ leaning against a wall with a lit joint dangled between his fingers and a beer in the other.

He had so much charisma, it demanded the attention of the room. People gravitated towards him all the time but he refused to see himself that way.

Even now, he stood surrounded by several people, including a girl who was too close for my liking, and they were hanging onto every word. All of their bodies angled towards him, nodding along. The people around them curiously moving in to hear more of the story that had so many of them laughing.

It was almost ironic. It was the point I was trying to prove all those months ago. Kooks vs. Pouges was bullshit. Because, right now JJ is telling a story to a bunch of Kooks who were eating it right up. Neither parties cared about their status, they just wanted to socialize and have fun.

Why couldn’t he see that?

The organ in my chest began to flutter, the butterflies erupting in my stomach at his nearness. Panic began to set in. I thought I’d pushed it all down.

All it took was seeing him. Just once. For the last couple months of progress to be thrown out the window. I made sure to not feel anything anymore, because the alternative destroyed me. And yet, there he stood, looking like every dream I’ve ever had, and completely disarming my very being with one look.

I never wanted to feel that way again. My heart was open and my soul was bared, but I was naive. I thought love was supposed to be empowering. But really, it was poison. It slowly entered your bloodstream, coating every vein before slowly taking over every organ. It leaked into your brain and made you lose all common sense. The poison tricked you into thinking that certain treatment was okay because at least they were here. At least, they still wanted to be with you because they love you, right?

But eventually, like all things lacking an antidote, it began to cut off your oxygen. It curled around your lungs and squeezed until you gasped for breath with tears staining your face. It didn’t matter how much you screamed and shouted, nothing came out. The last organ it takes over is your heart. That silly little organ who was so trusting begins to pump faster, desperately trying to get that oxygen to your brain, because maybe then you’ll finally be able to think clearly. But in the end, it slows down. Each pump is slower than the last until finally it comes to a stop. The heart broke.

It’s the closest thing to dying I’ve ever experienced.

It was like drowning on dry land.

His words did not leave me dented, but destroyed.

I lost my sense of myself. I lost my identity. I put on a performance every time I left my house, wanting to see just how far I could get away with treating people the same way they treat me.

At first it didn’t feel good, but now I didn’t feel anything at all. Or so I thought until I saw him again. And I just want to see that he was doing okay and maybe, if I can admit it, to see if he still loved me, however little that may be.

I watched from my spot on the other side of the room as the crowd began to disperse, leaving JJ with some blonde. I vaguely recognized her from a shoot for one of my mom’s brands. I believe her parents worked in the fashion industry as well. Which would have been fine, had she not said something that had him give her one of those rare smiles, the ones he used to give me in private.

Nausea roiled in my stomach, maybe it was all the tequila or maybe it was seeing him smile at someone else when all I wanted was for him to smile at me.

She leaned into him, a coy smile played her lips, running her fingers down the shirt I bought him, which basically made it mine. And I hated when people touched my things.

The mix of tequila and coke emboldened me. I found my feet moving in their direction before I could stop myself.

“I wouldn't waste your time.” I could not get myself to stop talking.

“Why’s that?” The blonde’s eyes narrowed, her cheaply manicured hand resting on JJ’s bicep.

“JJ doesn’t go for kooks or so I’ve been told.”

“Maybe he just didn’t go for you.” Oh, how cute.

“Oh honey,” I sighed dramatically and took one step towards her, tilting my head to the side, dragging my eyes up her body, in obvious distaste. “Are you new here?”

“Well, yeah but-“ She tried to explain.

Clearly, she needed a run through on how the social ladder worked here. I was at the top and everyone else was at the bottom.

“Your mom works for some brand from Paris right?” I watched as her eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

“She does. We moved here because she’s doing a collab with-“

“With my mom.”

“So I suggest you take your hand off of him,” I smiled on cue, my tone dipped in sugar before batting my eyelashes at her innocently,” Unless you want her blacklisted?”

I could see her debating what to do. She didn’t know if I was bluffing but she'd learn rather quickly just how far I was willing to go.

“Hmm, cute shoes.” I hummed, “Chanel?”

She nodded, apprehension on her face.

“Won’t be able to buy those anymore if your mom doesn’t have a job.”

Her hand fell and satisfaction settled into my like molten lava. “You can go now.”

The blonde pursed her lips and stalked off, leaving me alone with JJ. “Trying a new type”

“And what type would that be?”

“Desperate.”

JJ tipped his mouth, saluting me before taking a sip of his drink. His eyes already glazed over from the joint in his hand.

“A thank you would be nice?” I muttered, taking another pull from my tequila. I couldn’t talk to him sober or I’d lose my nerve.

“A thank you?” He appeared almost amused, adjusting his red hat.

“Yeah, I just saved you.”

“I didn't realize I needed saving.”

“Self-preservation was never really your strong suit was it?”

JJ laughed, his eyes straying to the bottle cradled in my arms. “I could say the same thing, Princess.”

Fuck him for calling me that. So what, I’ve learned to indulge just a little. It made everything in my life a little more manageable.

“It’s called having fun, JJ.” Pouting as he snatched the bottle from arms just as I went to take another shot. “Since when did you become the responsible one?”

JJ leveled me with an unamused stare.

I huffed, blowing a stray strand of hair out of my face. “Tough crowd.”

JJ snorted, pushing the leaves of a nearby plant back before dumping the remaining tequila. My mouth dropped open as he wasted every last drop of my liquid courage.

How the hell was I going to talk to him now?

I pursed my lips, “That was mean.”

“I’m doing what your boyfriend should have done an hour ago.” His gaze fixed on my face, the intense stare causing my cheeks to turn red. God, would he stop staring at me?

“He doesn’t tell me what to do.”

“Then he shouldn’t have left you alone.” His tone laced with annoyance, “You have all these fuckers staring at you and you’re wasted.”

I tilted my head back to stare up at him, the annoyance I knew came from a place of panic. That was just how JJ was wired.

“So you’re in love with me?” Someone come arrest me, because I cannot keep my mouth closed.

JJ shook his head clearly fighting back a smile. “You’re so crazy.”

“What else could that mean?” I asked truthfully and I knew I had a love struck smile on my face. One that I’ve only given to one man in my life and he stood in front of me.

I just wanted to be near him. I wanted to hear his laugh and see him smile.

His face softened at my words. “Are you okay? Does he take care of you?”

“Of course, I’m okay. Why do you ask?”

“Only one of us is fucking loaded.”

I rolled my eyes and plucked the joint from his fingers. “Correct me if I’m wrong, and we both know I rarely am, are you not high too?”

“Not from cocaine.”

“Already back to judging so soon?” I mused, taking a hit off the joint, the familiar stinging sensation wrapped around my lungs and squeezed. “Careful, I might think you care.”

Kill me now. Thank god, he took away the tequila.

“Who said I ever stopped?” My heart lurched in my throat.

I blew the smoke out slowly, my fogged up brain rushing to keep up with his words.

Someone stumbled in front of me, slamming into my shoulder sending me flying forward into JJ’s arms. Something cold and wet splattered onto me, the bitter liquid dripping down my legs.

“Are you blind?” I shouted, shoving another drunk party goer off me. Looked like a tourist.

She held her hands up in apology.

“I’m so sorry. Here, let me help.” To my absolute horror, this fucking tourist used a napkin and went to scrub the stain. Are these people animals? This was custom versace.

“Stop!” My cheeks flushed, from the weed or from my constant streak of bad luck. “Clearly, you’ve never owned anything worth keeping but this is Versace, you dick.”

I needed to go home before I burned this entire house down.

“Is that how you talk to people now?”

I let out a loud groan. “Oh fuck off, JJ.”

I shoved him away from me, before grabbing the skirt of my dress and heading into the nearest bathroom, which just so happened to be Rafe’s.

In reality, I just needed to get away from him. I needed my hands to be busy so that I couldn't grab his face and kiss him. Because I really wanted to do that.

The sound of footsteps have my eyes widening in panic as I take in my ruined dress. All because of that blonde asshole next to me, if he hadn’t showed up, I’d still have my tequila and my sanity.

“I wanted to talk.”

I made a noise at the back of my throat. That didn’t sound like JJ at all.

“Fine, whatever. Close the door.” I didn’t need a million other people to see me lose my shit. I was already at my quota for the day.

Jj stared at me with a confused look. “Close the door.” I nearly shout as the footsteps get closer but he moves just as quickly and slammed it shut, putting the lock in place.

“I just got this piece too.” I grumbled, huffing at the stained skirt. It was the Medusa 95’ Cut Out Mini dress in a stunning pastel pink. And now ruined with a beer stain from that horrible girl outside.

“I remember this one.” JJ spoke from behind me. Of course he did. He remembered everything I bought.

He always demanded fashion shows after all my shopping trips. He knew nothing about clothes but he always paid attention to me. He used to sit for hours while I prattled on and on about clothes.

“Unzip me?”

“I’m sorry?” He choked out, setting his beer down.

“I need to clean it before it stains. Unzip me.”

In hindsight, I was goading him. I wanted to see what he would do. I could tell he was already on edge since seeing me with Rafe. I wondered what a little push would do.

Neither of us moved for a beat. JJ puffed out a breath from his cheeks before he walked toward me slowly. I remained stock still, watching his every move in the mirror. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it all before.”

My heart fluttered at his nearness. Something I wanted since the minute he turned around and left. Home, I wanted my home back.

I jumped up at the feel of his warm breath against the back of my neck, goosebumps rising instantly. The tug of the zipper had me swallowing the lump in my throat. His other finger caressing every inch of skin, the zipper surrendered.

The sound of the zipper stopped but he never dropped his hand. Instead, I watched as JJ swallowed before lifting his head, those storming blue eyes connecting with mine in the mirror.

I stood on my Magda Butrym Appliquéd satin sandals and a flimsy pair of tiny panties.

“I feel like this is a test.” I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

“Is it?” I mused, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

“Yeah and I’m failing.”

The pads of his thumb brushed along my bottom lip, dragging it down slowly. My lips parted as a soft whimper escaped.

“You’re still so beautiful, it hurts.” He murmured, almost angry with the revelation.

Blistering hot satisfaction dripped over me.

JJ’s other hand grazed my bare back, the contact immediately chasing my back to arch. Sparks of sensitivity erupted from my skin as my body trembled with hot desire.

His hand moved higher, gripping onto my hair before wrapping the long strands around his hand, tugging my head back, demanding my attention.

He stared at me with heavy lids, eyes like ocean blue blades. My body began to heat up.

JJ’s eyes dropped back to my lips causing me to the lick them quickly. He backed me up against the Jack and Jill sink, my back resting against the cool granite counter.

I blinked slowly, making the decision for him, angling my head up and smashing my lips to his.

A groan ripped from his chest as he met my kiss with the same crippling desperation. His rough hands dropped from my face to my hips, his nails digging crescent shaped marks in the skin.

My legs began to slightly shake as his tongue finally brushed against mine. Oxygen was something neither of us needed as we fed off each other's energy.

His tongue licked and twirled around my own, another moan vibrating between us. JJ’s large hand trailed up skin, goosebumps appearing in its wake, before locking around my throat.

His grip was strong, not enough to cut off my oxygen but enough to garner my attention. He pulled me up to my tippy toes by my neck, my nipples brushing against the rough fabric of his shirt making me gasp at the contact. His mouth clashed with mine once more, his lips wrapped around my tongue, sucking gently before pulling back and biting out a curse.

My hands were desperate as they began to unbutton his shirt quickly, pushing the fabric off his shoulders. JJ whipped off the shirt just as my hands began reaching for his shorts, my fingers fumbling with the button.

The laugh he let out was devastating. His smile was purely lethal for my heart. “We got all the time in the world, princess.”

My stomach clenched at the nickname he gave me all those years ago. But, we didn’t. We both knew this moment would end the minute we came to our senses.

JJ unbuttoned his pants and dropped them in one smooth movement before pressing his warm body against mine once more.

“Up, baby.” My arms wrapped around his neck immediately, my nose grazing his. JJ gripped my thighs tight as he placed me on top of the counter.

He rested the palm of his hands on either side of me, enclosing my frame, daring me to move. JJ leaned down, his lips leaving phantom kisses along my collarbone, nipping as he went along. He stopped at the swell of my breasts, both hands encasing my heavy aching breasts before pressing them together.

He pressed scorching hot, open-mouthed kisses on every inch of exposed skin. His tongue pressing against my swollen nipples before closing around one and giving a strong suck. I was a mess beneath him, my chest heaving with heavy pants.

He nipped and tugged at the soft flesh of my breasts, leaving small purple love bites scattered on my chest. He pressed a kiss on each one, a pleased hum echoing within the bathroom.

JJ dropped to his knees slowly, each hand running down my bare legs. I wanted to see him.

I leaned back on the palm of my hands and arched my back in a teasing invitation. Pulling my legs from his grasp, I propped my feet up on the counter, but kept my knees bent, the tops touching.

The utter obsession that painted his face had me biting down on my lip hard enough to draw blood. “Please, Jayj.”

He stood stock still, similar to a statue. It looked like he almost stopped breathing as I slowly pushed my knees apart. I was drenched, I could feel myself soaking the skimpy fabric of my thong, my thighs glistening with the evidence of my arousal.

JJ’s eyes went black, locking in on my wet pussy before jumping back up to me. His hands found my thighs and roughly dug into the skin to keep my legs from closing.

He leaned forward, his index finger hooking the front of my thong before curling the fabric and tugging it up roughly between my lips. “Fuck.” I mewled, watching as he pressed his face between my legs and inhaled deeply.

I could feel my clit throbbing, needing to be touched. With one more tug, JJ slaps the side of my thigh, having me lift my hips up to take the last piece of fabric off my body. An insatiable grin formed on his face that went straight to my clit.

The first touch onto my lips had my hips shooting off the counter, his touch like electricity. He blew a breath against the aching skin, his hot mouth watering at the sight of me. Two fingers pushed apart my drenched folds, rubbing against the sensitive skin again and again, turning me into a mindless puddle.

He smirked at my trembling legs. “You okay, baby?”

“Fuck off.” I responded through gritted teeth, trying to gather myself.

He dipped forward, gathering saliva before slowly spitting it out, the stream of spit pattering against my spread lips. The sound was obscene.

“That’s not very nice.”

Tears of frustration began to build up as I discarded my hands into those loose blonde strands, knocking his hat off. “You love it.”

The grin he sent me was feral and I knew this was exactly what I needed. “I sure do, princess.”

He enclosed his mouth against my swollen clit and sucked roughly, a loud shout erupting from the depths of my chest. JJ parted my lips again, forcing his tongue inside and out, again and again, devouring every inch of my pussy.

My cunt clenched against his tongue making him moan loudly. My body was burning as he swirled his tongue along the bundle of nerves once more. Another cry left me as I tried to find something to grab onto. His tongue lapped up all the fluids that continued to come out and I found myself forgetting how to breathe.

I pushed his face deeper, grinding against his nose that continuously rubbed against my clit, my fingers tugging at his hair, needing a release. The knot in my lower stomach began to tighten as I whispered his name again and again like a prayer. The sound of my breathy pleas spur him on as he slipped two fingers in my pussy, meeting no resistance.

The squelching noises had me throwing my head back against the mirror which had begun to fog up. I clenched around his large fingers that rubbed against my sensitive walls wanting him to lose control.

JJ curled his fingers upward causing my knees to buckle and my mind go blank. I was close and he knew based on the tremors the shook my legs. I could barely hold myself up as everything went fuzzy.

A choked moan escaped my lips that curled into a ‘o’ as his mouth sucked that rigid spot of flesh while his fingers continued to hammer into me. The invisible band snapped and as a wave of pleasure washed over me. My body finally began to relax as I tried to catch my breath, my chest rising and falling dramatically.

I spared a glance at him. JJ’s eyes were low, eyes pitch black and glued to my face, and his cheeks flushed red. He looked pussy drunk.

“Looks like I have to clean you up.” He mumbled against the flesh of my thighs. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as his hot tongue began to catch all the arousal that dripped down my thighs. I was sensitive and tried to move back, but his hands locked around my thighs to keep them open. Shives forced their way up my spine as he lapped all my fluids up, humming as he went along, not leaving one bit of skin untouched. JJ pressed one last kiss before pulling back and licking his lips.

My heart hammered through my chest and vaguely though my haze of pleasure did I hear a murmur.

“Huh?” I felt him smile against my thigh, clearly finding my delirious state funny.

“Barry, man, have you seen her?” Rafe’s voice drifted under the door.

I froze at the sound of his voice, my eyes darting to JJ who just smirked from his spot between my legs.

“She’s right here, man.” JJ whispered, straightening up to press a kiss on the crown of my head. I shook my head at him, my eyes wide with a silent plea, but JJ disregarded it.

“She’s a little busy at the moment.”

I shook my head, pressing my palm against his mouth, his next words coming out muffled. He never knew when to shut up. The last thing I needed was Rafe finding us in his bathroom.

I kept my hand on JJ’s mouth until footsteps faded and we were alone once again.

JJ nipped at the palm of my hands, his tongue slipping out. My face screwed up as I let out a squeal, “Ew, Jayj.”

“Shouldn’t have tried to shut me up to protect your boyfriend’s feelings.” He said the words lightly, but I could hear the slight edge in his tone.

Pushing him off my softly, I hopped off the counter with shaky legs. “Since when do you care about Rafe’s feelings?”

I winced as I tried to take a step, my knees nearly knocking together from the aftershock. JJ always left me a shaking disheveled mess afterwards, but I felt lighter, because he was looking at me the way he used to.

And, I wanted that to last just a bit longer.

“I don’t care about his feelings-“ He scoffed, before pausing at the teasing smile on my lips. “You’re fucking with me.”

“Too easy.” I let out a shriek of laughter as JJ's arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me up in the air.

That was how I found myself sweaty, pressed against Rafe’s sheets, struggling to breathe. The violent sound of skin slapping echoing in the room, my raspy moans intertwining with his hot pants.

One of JJ’s hands gripped the back of my head, pinning me to the mattress, the other pushing down on my back, forming a deep arch, to pull his cock in deeper.

I couldn’t register anything he was muttering as he bottomed out since of me, my mind go blank. My walls spasmed against him with each rut of his hip, sucking him back in every time he pulled back.

I was soaked, my pussy dripping around him. The sopping wet noises spurring him on, his pace quickening with those deep purposeful strokes.

I couldn’t focus on anything but him. The smell; the feel of him. The way his cock continued to brush against my cervix made me borderline delicious.

“Fuck,” JJ shuddered, rolling his hips in and out of my pussy had me clamping around him once more, a tidal wave beginning to build up inside me.

I whimper left me, the coil in my stomach pulling tight as I searched for a release. The tip of his cock pressed into me repeatedly, forcing my legs to shake once more.

My hands searched for something to hold onto as I tried to anchor myself from being drowned in pleasure. “J. J, I-I cant-I’m gonna-“

I felt his pace begin to pick him, his cock twitching inside me as he continued his movements, grinding his hips against the globes of my ass, until there was no space between us.

It was like he was imprinting himself into my skin. Like he didn’t want me to forget him.

As if I could ever forget JJ Maybank.

My whines got louder, his words becoming more and more depraved. His large calloused hands ran all over my body like he was etching it to memory.

Quick and quiet gasps bled from my parted lips, as he hammered into me from behind, his hands lacing with mine against the sheets.

The coil in my stomach snapped, white flash blinding my vision, this orgasim more intense than the first. I could feel myself coating his hips and upper thighs, fluids dripping on the sheets.

I could hear JJ’s voice whine, he began to babble nonsense under his breath, with each languid thrust.

My heartbeat was in my ears as I pushed my hips back to match his thrusts, wanting him to finish despite all my sensitivity coming to head. His nails dug my hips, my cunt suffocating as he continued to grunt his cock into me.

“Fuck, Kiara.” His grunt echoed in the room.

Kiara?

I went numb. I couldn’t breathe-I couldn’t, I needed-

Bile coated my throat as whatever childish hope I had shriveled up in my chest. So I laid there, not knowing what to do, as JJ continued to pump in and out of me, but the soft intimacy we shared before dissipated.

Why did no one ever pick me? Why didn’t anyone want me?

I let my body go limp even though everything in me wanted to shove him off, but I just couldn’t get myself to move.

That was all it took for JJ to realize the slip of his tongue. JJ froze behind me as I shoved my face into my arms and choked on a gut wrenching sob.

“Fuck, I-hold on,” JJ’s panick was audible as he slowly pulled out of me. I cupped my mouth to try and muffle the scream I wanted to let out.

His blue eyes widened in horror at his mistake but it was too late. The words were already burned into my mind, replaying on a torturous loop.

JJ’s hand reached out for me, but I shrank back, scrambling to the headboard, desperate to put distance between us.

I curled into myself, pressing my back hard against the headboard, willing for myself to disappear.

“What did you just call me?” My chin wobbled. I tried to remind myself to breathe but with each inhale, my lungs were saturated with pain.

“I-That was an accident.” He stuttered, raking his hands through his hair roughly.

“Get out.”

“It just slipped out, I didn’t mean it.”

“Get the hell out, JJ.” I yelled, and pointed at the door with a shaky finger.

Like I said, his words never dented me, no they completely destroyed me. They cut me like a freshly honed razor blade.

And I was going to die of blood loss if I didn’t get him to leave this room. He had no problem leaving me then, why was he fighting it now?

Was he thinking about her the whole time he was inside me?

Thought after thought haunted me. Was he comparing our bodies? Was he comparing the sex?

Mortification had my stomach churning as I debated what to do next. My body was wound tight, on the verge of hyperventilating.

Did he love her? Did he love her like he used to love me? Did he fuck her the way he fucked me?

I hated him. Before him, none of these thoughts would have crossed my mind. I may have been alone but at least I liked who I was. I never would have questioned myself the way I am now. But after him, the only thing I hated more than him was myself.

“Was Kiara not available,” I murmured, “so you came to the one person you knew would say yes?”

JJ didn’t find my joke funny. The air was tense, as if we were trapped in a steamed up bathroom, making each breath harder than the last.

“Kie and I aren’t together.”

“JJ, you know where the door is. Use it.”

“I don’t want to leave.” He shook his head, his eyes flickering with something heavy.

“You had no problem doing it before.”

“That was-“ JJ squeezed his eyes shut, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

He shuffled closer to my body, but still wasn't touching me. I nibbled on my bottom lip and wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks hastily.

“I’m sorry.” He said, clearing his throat. “I am so so sorry.”

I lost my grip completely as those eyes perverted mine. His eyes were so blue, it was easy to get lost in them.

Words couldn’t find their way out of my mouth. With wary eyes, I watched as he stood up and disappeared in the bathroom before appearing again with his shirt.

JJ reached for me before pausing, his eyes asking a silent question. I nodded, forcing myself to loosen the grip I had on the sheets.

I let him put the shirt on me, its protection better than the flimsy sheet. JJ dropped his head on my chest, his tan arms wrapped around my waist, curling himself into me.

“I’m sorry.”

I was sorry too. I waited for months for him to be back in my arms, but he ruined every independent thought I had. I couldn’t stop the overthinking. I couldn’t stop the pain.

I was hurting too, but I was the one comforting him. I was always the one comforting him. What about me?

I laid on the soft sheets and stared up at the ceiling. Our heavy breathing echoing in an otherwise silent room. His heavy arm tossed over naked torso, his fingers softly tracing the curve. The whisper of his breath caressing the nape of my neck where his face was buried. The familiar tickle of his golden strands brushing against my nose, his coconut shampoo wafting my senses.

The JJ induced haze began to clear up and the ugliness began to set in.

A single tear escaped my eye, its trailing burning it’s way down the side of my face. I loved him. Even after he willingly abandoned me. After he humiliated me in front of everyone. After he called me her name.

I couldn’t cut him out. It didn’t matter what he did to me, the minute we’re within the same vicinity, my self preservation disappeared. Then I was left, treading water in the middle of a storm, with nothing but a life jacket.

I had no one to blame but myself in this situation. I knew how he spoke to me, how easily he left me, how embarrassed he was of me. But he just smiled and it was like everything melted away.

I so badly wanted to feel again, but not like this.

So all I can do is lay here. In this bed. With a boy who made me hate the kind person that I was.

I made my bed. I didn’t realize this was how I’d feel when I lied in it. I turned into someone I hated. And suddenly I was bone-tired, exhaustion suffocating my lungs. I had no idea who I was and I was tired of being someone I wasn’t.

“Where are my clothes?” I said. God, I needed to leave this room before Rafe found me.

“I wasn’t really focused on that part, babe.” JJ mumbled, burrowing himself deeper into my side.

My stomach lurched. I thought I’d feel different. I thought that maybe this would fix everything. That in some deluded way, we would get back together and everything else didn’t matter. Like he didn’t leave me standing at the party after stomping on my chest.

“I need them.” I mumbled. I choked down the need to throw up. The feel of our sweat coating my body and his soft breaths against my skin had me almost hyperventilating.

Home, he used to be home. But, I’ve never felt like more of a stranger than in his arms right now. This was no longer my home.

Kook pussy. Daddy issues.

I fucked up. Fuck, I fucked up.

This only made me feel worse. I was good enough to fuck, but not enough to stay.

“What are you in such a hurry for?” His fingers paused their persistent movement.

“I have to get back-“

“To who?” JJ snapped.

I moved to sit up, dragging the sheet with me as I avoided his gaze. “You know who.”

He didn’t need to know that Rafe and I basically ended. I just wanted him to hurt in the same way I did.

He let out a scoff. “You can’t be serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“This isn’t like you-“

“You left. You don’t know who I am anymore.”

“Clearly,” he chuckled under his breath, “But suddenly Rafe does?”

I shrugged. “He’s my friend.”

“I don’t give a fuck who he is-“

I tuned him out. I was too busy trying to get his actual voice out of my head.

Kiara. Not me. Kiara. Not me.

It had taken every bit of strength to not chase after him that day. To not call and text, begging for him to give me the time of day. And I know, I know I should be stronger. I know I should have said good riddance and moved on, but love was never simple.

When I saw him tonight, I thought that maybe it was fate. So all the waiting, all the practice of self control paid off because he came back. But, was this what was waiting for me?

“You slept with me,” I said, “ but you’re thinking about her?”

I didn’t want to know the answer, but I had to ask it. It was just one of a million questions I had since the day he walked away. Was there something I could have done differently?

I was wracking my brain to see where I had gone wrong, but maybe I just fell in love with the wrong person.

“From what I hear, you don’t care about anything these days. Why would you care about this?” I couldn’t detect any emotion in his words, just cold hard facts.

I really was out here exceeding everyone’s expectations of me.

But, he had to know that when it came to him, I always cared too much. That’s why his words caused another jagged piece of my heart to puncture my chest.

“Why would I care?” I whispered, shaking my head at him. “Are you listening to yourself?”

Had I deluded myself so much into thinking we experienced the same love in our relationship? How could he even question that. Everything I did was always for him.

“I care about you, that never changed.”

Something pained flickered through his gaze. “Care about me? Yet your fucking Rafe Cameron.”

“You’re mad about that?” I choked on a humorless laugh,”Let me jog your memory real quick since apparently you’ve got amnesia, you were the one that told me to be with him.”

“Well, I didn’t think you’d actually do that to me.”

I threw my arms up in the air, exasperated,”Then why say it at all? Wait, I forgot who I’m talking to. You’re the king of saying shit you don’t mean.”

“Saying shit and actually doing it are two different things.”

“Well, you did do it Jayj.” My lungs hitched.

His jaw tightened, tension seeping out of him in waves.

“You left. You did the one thing you promised you’d never do. You didn’t even look back as you did it.” I shouted, tears blurring my vision as my body continued to shake from adrenaline. “All because what? Rafe hurt your feelings? Because I have more money than you?”

I wanted to understand him. I thought I did once, but the more I thought about our breakup the more I saw it had nothing to do with me. And everything to do with him.

“Do me a favor and grow up. This is the real world. You’d swap places with any one of us in a second if you could.”

JJ narrowed his eyes. “I don’t want any part of your world. I thought I made that clear.”

“I’m aware. But I was there, remember? For every bonfire, for every boat ride with you and your friends. What was it you guys said again?” It rushed out of me, “to going full kook?”

He watched me stoically, his fingers tugging at his bracelets.

“I guess you’re the only one that can have the money in the relationship?” I raised my eyebrow at him, waiting for him to respond.

The beautiful blonde boy that seeped into my bloodstream and made me love him. But, ruined us in the process. He destroyed everything he touched.

He pressed the heel of his palms against his eyes,

“What happened?”

“You want to know what happened? You fucking happened.”

That familiar anger flared in his eyes and I knew exactly what he was going to do. What he always did to me, but this time, I wasn’t going to let him erase me. Not again.

“Let’s talk about who you turned into?” JJ spat vehemently. “What? Rafe buys you a nice purse and you’re suddenly snorting lines of coke?”

“It was actually a couple purses.”

JJ shot daggers at me. “So what? You’re proud of that?” No, I only wanted someone to care about me if I died.

“I’m only doing what you told me, I’m sorry you don’t like the person you turned me into.”

I didn’t like her much either. But, JJ never gave me more and I realized he would never give me more, no matter how much I pushed. No matter how hard I tried to get him to see that I was the one he should be with.

It pained me that it took all of this for me to realize that there were parts of JJ he would never let anyone have.

“Why are you still here?” I said quietly. “I’m not going to let you sit here and make me feel like shit for how I chose to cope with what you broke.”

I was done giving the men in my life power over me. I needed to stand on my own two feet even if that meant I had to do it alone.

“Feel like shit?” JJ nodded his head with mock outrage,” Princess, you just let me fuck you in your boyfriend’s bed. I think you feel like shit already.”

He was right, but I still recoiled back at the venom he spat at me. I sagged with exhaustion. He was just lashing out the way he always did.

“I didn’t know, JJ.” My voice cracked. “I-I didn’t know. I just did what I thought I was supposed to do.”

JJ’s head snapped up at the waver in my voice. His ocean eyes showed a clear battle, one I knew he’d lose. “S-Sometimes it just felt like I wasn’t good enough.”

His confession broke me. I knew the thoughts that ravaged his brain only because those same thoughts now drown in mine.

My fingers twisted the hem of the shirt that my body was swimming in, a nervous tic I never got rid of. “But I never said that to you, you listened to everyone but me. You were more than enough.”

A tortured look passed his face, like the obvious miscommunication had disrupted everything. “I thought I was being paraded around to prove a point.”

I roughly wiped the tears that kept falling, “It’s okay to not want to struggle for everything in your life, JJ. You were exhausted and I just wanted to help you.”

“I didn’t know. I-just didn’t know.” I continued to repeat. And I didn't. I had no experience with love. I wanted him to have the world since he was born with less than most people I knew, yet he deserved so much more.

“You let your friends help you, I don’t understand how I was any different.”

His blonde hair was sticking up in multiple directions, a clear sign of his obvious distress. "Because they’re my family."

Irremediable sorrow burrowed in my chest. "But, I was your family too."

I felt layers of grief his me in waves, quick and hard, one after the other as I came to terms with the fact that JJ never considered me any part of his family.

"You were the only family I ever had. I thought I was your family.” I sniffled, my ribs began to ache from the constant crying.

A loud crack had me jump back as Rafe bursted into the room, chest heaving from exertion. He paused, his eyes locking in on the messed up sheets before dragging over to me and scanning my disheveled appearance.

I thought we hit a milestone. JJ finally started talking and letting me know exactly what was going on in that brain of his. And maybe, that would be enough for me, for now. This all happened because JJ didn’t know how to communicate and I knew that wasn’t his fault, but at one point he needed to grow up.

I was willing to hold his hand while he did it. But I watched as JJ’s eyes clocked the necklace Rafe wore with my initials. His gaze narrowed at the purse in his hand and my car keys in the other.

The jealousy was evident in the way he rolled his shoulders back, his face granite. “Cute necklace.”

Rafe smirked, tilting his head to the side. “Thanks. It looks even better swinging in her face.”

JJ’s cool demeanor dropped, his blue eyes darkened into a brewing storm. “Enjoy my seconds, bro.” He clapped Rafe on the chest.

My heart popped in my chest at his words, another bandage would do little to fix the shards that once resembled a heart. And, I knew then, that JJ confirmed the conclusion I just came to myself.

“JJ?”

“What?”

“You were right. I do deserve better than you.”

Loving him cost me something much greater: myself.

I couldn’t continue to hide myself in any man that told me pretty words. I was no longer my own person, just a mere extension of them. One that they treated poorly and only took out when they were bored. I was always willing to do what they would never do for me.

I was just a girl, in love with an extraordinary boy who couldn’t see past all the things he was not.

I walked over to where Rafe was, forcing myself to remember his cruel words also. It was the only way I could get myself to walk out of here. My eyes lingered on the necklace for a second before I pulled my keys from his grasp and grabbed my purse.

I wore nothing but JJ’s shirt, but at the moment I couldn’t care less. I left my clothes in Rafe’s bathroom, deciding it was better to leave them then spend another second in either of their soul sucking presence. I could always buy another dress.

I couldn’t buy another me. Not if I kept letting these boys break me.

This time, I was the one that never looked back.

Side note: I WROTE THIS THREE TIMES so pls pls pls be nice to me. I tried to incorporate a lot of people's ideas. I know the OC is very wishy washy but she's so real for that.

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lonelystarrs · 3 months

Text

𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮’𝐬 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 prt 1.

Barou Shouei x FemReader (slight x Nagi Seishiro in prt 2)

it all started because he bullied your brother, it all started when 12 year old you kicked a ball into his face. Growing up with your eventual sweetheart wasn’t all smooth sailing, life was full of lessons but through the rough and smooth one thing Barou always knew; you were always his girl. Sometimes though even a king needed to lose his throne to realise his true royalties were what built it.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI + virginity loss (both 18+) + angst with eventual comfort + fluff + long fic / Tugs & Texts expansion + established relationship with Barou + smut +

Word count 11.4k

Barou was always king of the field since he started at 6 years old and discovered how good it felt to win, how natural he was at this sport and it was his domain; it was where he belonged.

This discovery meant Barou dominated the field wherever he went, crushing anyone who crossed his path for the next six years.

Until one day he happened to crush the wrong person.

He’d kicked the ball hard towards the goal aiming for it to be a score but some brave kid decided to block the strike.

He walked over, looming over the boy as he curled into himself holding his face, blood and snot gushing from his as is skin burned bright red. Barou’s hands shoved into his pockets as he half leaned over him.

“Tsk, what a donkey thinking you’d block that, learnt your lesson?”

12 year old Barou with his new lingo, new insults to throw at people, left the field and thought nothing of it, just another who got in his way and learned to stay out of it; until the next day he met his karma.

“You!”

Barou had been taking part in his strict training routine in the rain, at 12 years old he set his mindset and goals high; creating a routine that he researched and put together through PE, his favourite subject in school.

Red eyes turned to the girly voice that called out angrily in the rain but instead of meeting who was calling him, his face was met with a ball, smacking him clean in the face and actually making him take a few steps back.

“You asshole! Thinking you can treat people like you do, you hit the wrong boy yesterday Shouei! I’m gonna make your life hell!”

He never even seen you coming, a mere voice in the rain and suddenly blood gushed from his nose; his hand clamped over it to stop the bleeding.

Eyes wide he pulled his hand from his face to stare at the fresh blood, even his damn teeth were hurting.

Barou met your eyes for the first time in his life, shocked to the core a freaking girl had kicked the ball that hard.

“who the hell you supposed to be, the babies girlfriend!?”

“That was my brother and he’s only 8 you idiot!”

Barou straightened as he took you in, you looked roughly around his age definitely not as young as the kid yesterday. That fire in your eyes was burning but what Barou was more impressed with was the accuracy and strength of your strike with the ball. You stood in the rain, practically steaming as it hit you because you were so angry.

Then you spun and disappeared leaving 12 year old Barou with sore teeth, bleeding nose and pounding head.

Perhaps even his heart thumping more than it should be.

—0—

You certainly kept your promise; making Barou Shouei’s left hell for the next four years. Although at this point he was convinced it was just habit, no one could hold a grudge for this long surely?

The fact he could see that damn gleam in your eye, those lips twitching in a little smirk when you pushed his buttons, when he squared up to you pressing his forehead to yours and you only pushed back was proof you were enjoying it.

So he tried to not feed it.

He was the better person, walking away or ignoring you. He did best to avoid you, but found him you always did!

The only one really brave enough to bother him, to get in his space was you. Girls were too scared to approach him in person, deflated by love notes left in his locker; he simply threw them away never even opening them. Even the guys stayed away from him unless it was his soccer team.

He became a bit of a loner, seemingly content in his own company or focusing on his football dream. His arrogance and ego grew into something rather ugly, adopting manners of being a king, everyone being a peasant or a donkey.

You’d stood up to Barou from day one, the only reason you survived it was because his patience and morals were incredible; he didn’t believe in hitting girls. Even if you standing up to him wasn’t going to stop any time soon.

However, being sixteen and hormones arriving changed things up.

Where things remained very much the same for you towards him, Barou’s teenage boy mind was starting to mess with his exchanges with you. He’d started to really try to stay away, his gaze noticing things in you he hadn’t before and it disgusted him.

Like how you standing up to him, never backing down and being just as stubborn as he was shifted from annoying to endearing. He argued back less, unable to form insults when eyes dropping down to your shirt that was getting too tight on your chest, your skirt dancing on your thighs, how your waist dipped showing curves.

He was successful for a time, keeping distance from you and avoiding any heads butting. But this week, much to poor Shouei’s dismay, the teacher thought it was a good idea to pair you both together for a project.

even the whole class fell silent, awkwardly looking between each other. No other teacher was brave enough to pair up you both, but this one seemed to twinkle something mischievous in her eyes over it.

Barou had been unusually quiet with you for the last two weeks and he had been avoiding you like the plague.

Why? You had no idea.

You didn’t really care either.

“Get into your pairs and decide what you’re going to do for the arts project.”

Barou’s eyes darkened as you stood from your seat knowing he wouldn’t move towards you, the rest of the class moved and chatter started throughout the room making sure they had distance from you both. The occasional side glances to see if you’d killed each other yet.

You slid into the high stool next to him with a little too much sass, red eyes glancing down at your school skirt riding up, thigh high socks squeezing the tops of your thighs and he groaned, turning away to glare at the wall and fight the heat crawling up his neck.

“So Barou,” you sang, he inhaled deeply arms crossing tighter against his chest that was getting bigger every passing month, it was impressive how the guy had shot up like he had. He was so freaking tall and growing more muscle by the week.

“What’cha wanna do with your favourite subject?”

“Like hell I know. You do it, keep that shit off me.”

He hated arts and crafts because it was so damn messy, he was already glaring at the paper on the table and the different pencils, charcoals and paints lined up to use.

“Awh c’mon!” You grabbed the charcoal pencil and started to press it hard on the paper, gathering a nice little patch of black dust before placing it down and pressed your index finger into it.

Barou actually gritted his teeth at the mess, eyes tearing from the page to look else where whilst you started to draw something with the charcoal.

You were always good at portraits or forms of the anatomy, he’d seen you work with charcoal a lot and despite its mess the end results were always good.

He’d give you that.

“So, I’m surprised you haven’t kicked off being paired with me.”

“You’re good at the subject, you’ll get us a pass. I’m not foolish enough to not take the best in here, means I don’t have to touch this shitty stuff either.”

Your silence and lack of work on the paper made him turn to look at you, only to see you looking at him suspiciously.

“The fuck you starin’ at?!”

“Where’s Barou?”

He scoffed and looked away realising he’d just somewhat complimented you to your face. You laughed and scratched your cheek with your finger forgetting about the charcoal coating the pad.

“I’ll get us passes useless Barou! Don’t you worry!”

You returned your attention back to the paper and Barou’s eyes moved to you when you weren’t looking. Red gaze watching your face, your tongue sticking out a bit as you concentrated with a small smile on your lips. Eyes beaming with joy at you setting your skills on something you enjoyed.

Damn it you’d grown up so much, he wasn’t the only one who’d shot up. You started to lose that baby fat on your cheeks, your hair had got longer and you always smelled so damn good. Your shirts were always ironed and perfectly white, he’d notice the material hugging you more as your breasts had started to grow, the shape of you changing as you both hit 16.

His eyes moved to your face again, noticing a few strands of hair had fallen from your successful attempt of a messy bun to stop it getting in the way whilst drawing.

He then noticed the black smudge on your cheek and he glared at it, his hand twitching already to remove it.

How had you got that on your face so damn quickly!

“Ta-da!!!”

You held the page up, a dust of black cloud flying off causing Barou to shoot from his seat quickly.

“Watch it you slob!”

You looked over your shoulder with a dry expression,

“You’re such a princess Barou,”

“Piss off.”

You blew him a kiss and looked back at you work, your photographic memory paying off as you grinned at it.

“Hmm, just needs a title, how about….” You pondered for a second before lighting up and grabbing a pencil, scribbling down before sliding it to him.

‘The King’s Strike.’

Barou stared at the page, you slid in front of him. The perfect striking pose, shirtless with just shorts, his long socks, shin pads and soccer boots. Muscles drawn perfectly, the twist of the body and shadowed with the charcoal. The ball moving towards the goal, every detail was there.

Then his hair.

It was him. Striking a goal.

“It was you at the game last week,” you said boredly, “-s’yours if you want it.”

“You were there?” He looked at you finally and you shrugged, looking off across the class.

“Since last year,”

“Every game?”

“Uh -yeah. The girls like watching you lot, I find it boring but seeing you prance around like a show pony is midly entertaining.”

Shit why did he suddenly feel so hot? He didn’t even give a shit that you’d insulted him, he was so focused on the fact you’d been watching him and he never knew.

His hands got clammy, his heart accelerating in his chest like it did after he scored at the same time he felt fucking nervous. The bell ringing broke his gaze on the drawing, you jumped down from your stool and turned to leave.

Barou had other ideas, grabbing your wrist before you got too far you spun back and looked at his grip on you to him. Frowning you opened your mouth to say something but Barou dragged you down with him to grab his bag.

“You scrub you can’t just leave like that, you’re gonna get that shit everywhere! You’re fucking filthy!”

Pulling out a pack of cleaning wipes you stared at him like he’d grown three heads, before snorting a laugh, then it went full blown.

“You carry those in your school bag?! Hahahahaha!”

“Shut it you slob.”

Heat crawled up his neck but he battled it down, his hand lifted your wrist to clean your fingers with the wipe. What the hell was he doing?

“It’s even under your fucking nail -ugh this is disgusting.” He was grumbling to himself and you froze staring at him, he was surprisingly gentle actually, you thought he was finished until he grabbed your cheeks, pushing them together causing your lips to perk and pulled you closer to him. Your breath hitched in your throat as the closeness.

Reaching up with a new wipe to clean the smudge on your cheek.

“I gotta game Saturday,” he grumbled, voice deep and gruff, refusing to look at you longer than a glance. You were worried he could feel your heart thumping in your chest, or how hot your cheeks felt under his fingers.

“You comin?”

You nodded dumbly your eyes taking in his features being this close. Completely forgetting if you even had any plans this weekend, you felt blank at the moment, heat stirring in your chest and you actually rubbed your thighs together.

When did this guy get so damn handsome? His eyes were so… red, his hair looked so soft, he’d grown substantially and he absolutely towered over you now.

“Front row on our teams side,”

His eyes flicking to your mouth before locking with your eyes.

“-got it, girl?”

Barou released your cheeks and grabbed his bag, throwing it over his shoulder and leaving the room; you stood dumbfounded at what the hell just happened.

You looked to the table, he’d taken the drawing.

Unknown to you, the old lady art teacher was chuckling in her seat, fingers pressed together and her glasses glinting watching you both.

“I knew it.”

—0—

You’d attended his game, sitting where he told you to and you watched how each game turned him more into an asshole on the field. He was cruel, selfish and egotistical yet you couldn’t stop watching him.

You’d made a mess more often in arts because he couldn’t stop himself from cleaning you up, accidentally spilling things on your hands and making art class extra messy. Even when you weren’t paired together he’d storm across the room when everyone left.

You’d make sure your tie looked off when you seen him and he’d straighten it because it drove him mad. It amused you endlessly, weirdly liking it each time he got closer to you.

It all started from Art classes, graduating closer to you, using the excuse he knew you’d make a mess. It started simple, minor until it progressed into pairing with you for projects. Glowering down at whoever was next to you and getting them to move. They were scared whilst your eyes twinkled in amusement up at him, until he glared at you for staring at him.

Where it began it arts to spread to each class he shared with you, seating next to you or keeping you as a study partner. You didn’t find yourself questioning it, a light tease every now and then which he found himself not biting to.

The day he caught you walking home in the rain without an umbrella he let you stand under his, belittling you the entire walk home for being a dumbass and forgetting it.

Your heart racing when you seen his shoulder wet, hanging out from the umbrella to keep you dry. So you made him a bento as a thank you, he was skeptical at first, looking at it with disgust and you didn’t think he’d eat it, until he handed it back clean and empty the next day.

That one walk turned into him waiting at the gate no matter the weather, he’d listen to you ramble on about absolute bullshit wondering why he tolerated you above everyone else; perhaps your amazing bento boxes he had daily now were the reason.

The morning he caught you running on the weekend during the summer; those shorts riding fair too far up your thighs and ass leaving nothing to the imagination. He couldn’t shift the image of your sweat glistening skin, chest heaving as you sucked air back in, your sports bra pushing everything up and playing on his teenage mind.

He started running with you, leaving his headphones in whilst you had yours in. Every weekend morning he’d be waking you up at stupid times to run and you kept up with him. You’d both stop at a shop to buy a drink on the wall home to cool down.

“My feet are buzzing!”

“Get better trainers then you idiot,”

“I did! They haven’t arrived yet.”

“Then why are you fucking running if they’re hurting?”

You pouted and prodded his bicep,

“-and miss our morning dates, getting all hot, sweaty and out of breath with you? Pft!”

Barou handed you a cold bottle of water, pressing the cold bottle to your forehead whilst gulping down his. You side glanced watching his Adam’s apple bob with each swallow.

His shirt was off, tucked into his waist band of his shorts and sweat dripping down his body. The temperature was already getting unbearable this early in the morning. Ditching his empty bottle he started to walk forwards, glancing over his shoulder at your slower pace and fiddling with the bottle.

“Don’t say a damn word,” He sighed in annoyance and stopped, crouching to his knee he glared over his shoulder. “-up.”

His hands gripped your thighs tightly, wrapping them around his sides and feeling you press your body flush against his back, arms wrapping lazily around his neck and resting your head on top of his.

People started gossiping, started suggesting that Barou had his eyes on you, the mutterings and the rumour of being Barou’s girl started circulating around.

It was all talk, nothing had actually happened between you both but you’d noticed the change in him as much as you had yourself, it was slow but each week over the last year progressed into something. From enemies to practically seeing each other daily, to him eating your bento boxes and being at each game.

Then a day came after you both turned 17 and attended a certain game that changed it all, sat at the front on his teams side like you always had done for the past year since he first told you to.

This time you weren’t alone, some guy was sat next to you and you were polite enough to speak with him when he tried to talk with you. He was funny, polite and kept you company. You laughed with him, probably flirted a little bit because you were a natural flirt, what? It was fun!

It hadn’t gone unnoticed by the red eyed king on the field. Anger boiled in Barou each time his focused slipped to you and by the end of his match he was seething despite winning the scores, his usual fans screamed and wailed for him but it did nothing to distract him of that image with you and that guy.

Barou ignored his team cheering, stomping over he removed his jersey from his last game, sweat and muscles grabbing eyes and girls squealed at the view.

Before you knew it a sweaty ass jersey had collided with your head, scrambling to remove it only hearing Barou’s pissed off voice.

“Oi, you fucking donkey get lost, she’s taken.”

Stunned and embarrassed by the show in front of crowds you were left gawking as Barou made his way off the field with his team behind him.

The next day had you stomping up to Barou whilst training, he was warming up by himself as usual taking up his strict daily work out routine.

Jesus even in that baggy hoody he was wearing he looked massive, his back looked huge as you stomped up to him, inwardly feeling your confidence shaken as you drew closer suddenly feeling smaller with each step.

“Oi! King douche!”

Barou grunted and looked over his shoulder at you with a bored expression, eyes giving you a once over before half turning to you; the only one he’d paused his warm up for even if it was only a few moments.

You marched to him, gripping his hoody at the front and pulling him down to your height.

“What the hell was that about yesterday huh?”

Barou glanced down at your hand gripping his hoody before meeting you again, eyes bored he cocked at eyebrow. He could have easily pulled back but he remained half bent to your height.

“Mind telling me who exactly I’m taken by? Cause I seemed to have forgotten that happening.”

“By me,”

You sputtered at his bluntness your grip loosened on him and you leaned back.

“What? You- I- what are you talking about? That’s a two way conversation Barou! You never asked me an-“

“Date me then,”

“Will you stop being so blunt! At least act like you’re actually interested!”

“Date me, I can tolerate you.”

You deadpanned at his lazy bluntness and released your grip on him, stepping back you went to leave.

Barou heard your grumbling about him, his eye twitched at you walking away from him.

“Always so fucking stubborn.” He sighed, his hand grabbing your wrist he spun you back, other hand threading through your hair into a grip and pulling you to him.

His mouth pressed to yours in a movement too smooth for someone as belligerent as Barou to pull off, but he made up for it with how roughly he kissed.

You could taste the mint on his tongue, his lips were so damn soft, he was uncoordinated and rough, teeth biting your bottom lip too hard and his tongue running over it as if it was apologising. Greedy, messy, impatient and rough yet some kind of softness under it all —exactly what you’d expect from him.

His hand at the back of your head kept you from leaving as he pulled back, his lips shining from spit and your lip gloss. He pressed his forehead against you, eyes peering into you as he towered over you.

“Got it, girl?”

“Barou, was that your first kiss?”

The heel of his hand pressed to your forehead replacing his and he pushed you backwards.

“Get lost I have training to do.”

It totally was, you snickered and turned to leave, failing to see Barou’s thumb swipe his bottom lip, tongue following savouring the taste of you and your lip balm. A smirk twitching on his mouth as he looked over his shoulder to see you walking away with a little bounce in your step.

—0—

Baron always thought the act of kissing was pretty disgusting, the germs and how unclean it was to swap spit, eighteen years of that thought it was all thrown out the window when he realise the taste of your lip balm was addicting. That subtle hint of cherry lingered more than your usual strawberry flavoured one and he groaned into your mouth, sucking on your bottom lip.

The little moan that left you made his hips roll up into yours, that bulge in his shorts running painfully tight against you, his hands gripping your hips with the intent to bruise.

You’d come over to his house surprising him in his room when he returned from a shower, the little running shorts you had on were far too short, the loose fitting white sports top and red sports bra underneath left little to the imagination also. The towel thrown over his shoulder, stood in his gym shorts and listening to the giggles of his little sisters signally they were the ones who let you in.

The distance between you lasted seconds after his door slammed shut, he only half turned around to see you’d strode up behind him, throwing your arms around his neck and jumping up knowing he’d catch you.

It hadn’t taken him long to walk to his bed blindly, hands gripping your thighs and you kissing him like you hadn’t seen him only yesterday. He turned, fell to his bed and let you straddle him as he sat up, you’d been kissing since, rolling your hips against his.

“So birthday boy, you’re finally eighteen,”

Barou sneered, rolling his eyes as you lowered your lips to his jaw line, rolling your hips against the bulge in his shorts causing an airy moan to leave him.

“You’re little over a month older, stop acting so superior.”

You laughed against his neck, straightening yourself and leaning back, his hands sliding up to your lower back to aid your angle, you hands linking behind his neck.

“Speaking of which, did you know our star signs are the best match?”

“Don’t start with this shit again, its bullshit-“

You laughed, eyes gleaming and his softened watching your pure amusement above him, skin still glistening with sweat from your run here, lips plump from kissing him so hard.

And his poor heart kicked in his ribs, a sudden burst of emotion swelling up his chest and it spread like heat.

“I was thinking of what to get you for your birthday-“ you wiggled off him, his grip on you a little reluctant to let you go but your hand pressing against his hard cock made his jaw clench, “-you locked the door right?”

Fuck.

It was finally happening huh? It wasn’t often Barou felt himself caught off guard, or any confidence shaken because he was pretty grounded, but his nerves jumped not showing it in his expression and yours didn’t falter either.

You’d both decided to wait until you were eighteen, given you’d turned that age a little over a month ago he didn’t think you’d be so literal in the agreement when he turned it.

When you dropped to your knees between his, hands gliding up to the waist band of his shorts that were doing very little to hide his dick, you tugged and he didn’t move for a second, red eyes looking down at your pouting face, his hair still down from his shower as it draped over his broad shoulders.

His hand cupped your chin locking gazes with you.

“Ain’t no pressure or rush, shouldn’t be doin’ it just cause its my birthday,”

“Your dicks literally flexing under my hand-“

“That ain’t the point!” He seethed, other hand gripping your wrist pulling it from his cock and you pouted at him, actually fucking pouted and he sucked his teeth, his self restrain faltering for a second at your pouty ass face.

“You even know what you’re fucking doin?”

“Kinda, but it gets me off trying it for the first time so, think of it as a joint birthday present!”

You’d watched Barou’s jaw tightened, red eyes sliding off to look at his door in concern knowing his little sisters were running around due to his parents being out, his attention quickly brought back to you when you tugged at his waist band again.

“I put frozen on for them and bought a bag of sweets -we have two hours.”

You heard Barou click his tongue and he stood, tilting his head down to watch as you leaned back onto your ass, knees still on the floor and looked up at him all doe eyed. His black hair falling to the side he tilted and his thumbs ran under the band of his shorts, pulling it down low enough so his little trimmed snail trail appeared before the head of his dick rested over the band.

You groaned and licked your lips, reaching up to skim your fingers along his hips.

“B please,” his jaw clenched, nervous for reasons he didn’t quite understand but he hid it well, his cock flexing at your tongue licking your swollen lips, eyes glazing with something he hadn’t seen before and your whiny little beg.

“Take it easy-“ one of his thumbs pushed his shorts, releasing his cock with a heavy slap to his stomach, a sticky line of pre linking to his dick and your eyes widened, a smug smirk gracing his face and his ego soared at your shocked expression. Confidence taking over his concern at you faltering, his other hand went for your pony tail, twisting it around his hand and pushing your face to the hilt of his cock, “-I ain’t small so don’t get carried away.”

His confidence faltered when yours overtook his in strides, tongue pressing to the gap between his shaft and balls, licking a thick, slow line up to the head of his dick before swirling your tongue around it. Barou watched the pre melt on your tongue, you moaned and he fucking melted.

You laughed when he let out some choked noise at the feel of your tongue swirl around the head of his dick, before kissing the underside of it looking at him like you were in love.

“Taste good B-“ you hummed against it rising a hand to wrap around his dick not even managing to touch your fingers because of his sheer girth, you pumped up and his body jolted forward the hand tightened around your hair, “-can I suck now?”

“F-Fuck,” you took that as your go ahead and wasted no time in wrapping your lips around his cock sinking down enough so you were comfortable at your limit, his dick flexed in your warm mouth and when you moaned around his cock Barou was finished, both hands held either side of your face and you gripped him tighter refusing to budge.

“G-Get off, fuck- Hold on,-“ your name left his mouth in a such a whiny tone you looked up to check this was actually Barou, only smirking around his cock at his expression. Eyes blow and wide, mouth agap and he was damn drooling.

Your eye contact with him, his thick cock in your mouth, hand wrapped around him and that little smirk would stick with Barou until his dying day he was sure of it, he came so quickly he didn’t even have to warn you, your expression changing to shock as thick ropes of cum spilled into your mouth so hard it shot to the back of your throat.

Hips jolting, six pack flexing as he released his first orgasm with you, lasting less than five minutes in your mouth for the first time.

You didn’t stop, spit and cum creating a sloppy mess down your chin, hollowing your cheeks and tongue rubbed against the head of his dick you bobbed on his cock; his voice broke as he tried to growl out your name, hand gripping painfully now on your hair trying to pull you off.

Looking back up at him you almost laughed, his eyes borderline cross eyed, drool now spilling to his chin and his hips bucking with each stroke of your tongue. You were overstimulating him and you knew it, you were clenching around nothing and you could feel yourself soaked through your running shorts. Spit and cum dribbled down your neck into your cleavage, knowing Barou would have a fit about it when he managed to uncross his eyes.

His body recoiled and he sat back on the bed, panting like he’d just finished a soccer match and sweating as much. You rose your hand to wipe your mouth on the back of it, eyes glazed and looking at Barou like he was prey, red eyes drinking in the mess you made but unable to ignore you licking your lips.

“Maybe the film I picked was too long-“

You shouldn’t have doubted Barou’s ability to recover, you shouldn’t have been snarky. He growled and your face faltered for a second, all amusement or taunting left you, blinded with being too cocky and confident with your actions to think that you’d had ever beaten Barou Shouei.

“You’re dead-“

You stood up quickly, a little wobbly from numb knees on Barou’s bedroom carpet and turned to leave, hoping to seek safety in his little sisters downstairs, he was quicker, a thick, strong arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you flush against him with a half screaming leaving you.

“Shut the fuck up-“ his mouth pressed to your ear, his deep warning made bumps rise over your skin, his hand clamped over your mouth stifling your noise and holding you in place whilst the hand around your waist dipped into your shorts. Barou wasted no time in roughly sliding a finger clumsily down your clit right to your hole, your hips jolting forward and your cry was muffled under his hand. “-you’re soaking.”

He growled into your ear, deep voice making you clench around nothing but Barou felt your pussy pulse against the pad of his finger resting at your entrance, he rolled it gathering slick to glide it back to your clit and the pace he set was cruel. You didn’t know if it was lack of experience or because he was trying to be mean, but he was rough with your clit, rolling circles around it with one finger your hips stuttering and legs threatening to give out from under you as you struggled to stand.

You were begging him but his hand blocked any clarity from your words, your hands finding grip on his forearm across your chest trying to pull it from your mouth. It made you realise how strong Barou was, he was solid, unmoving and had you against him with no match on his strength. His finger suddenly dipped down to your hole and pushed in to the knuckle, your eyes widened and you screamed under his palm, his lips pressed to your temple, tears blurred your vision from the over stimulation and the need to cum.

“Not so cocky now are you?” You weren’t expecting him to roll his hips into your lower back, hard cock gliding along your spine above your ass, “You’re cryin’ from a finger, how you gonna take this?”

“Mock me again and I’ll put you in your place, nod if you understand and I’ll let you cum.”

Tears had spilled down your cheeks at this point, weaving between his fingers mixing with your drool under it and guilt hit him, his ego too large to back down resulting in him kissing your cheeks, kissing the tears away and giving you a shhh to try and sooth you. When you finally nodded he sighed and pulled his finger from your pussy, pad rolling back to your clit where he ran soothing circles around it. A relieved sigh left you under his hand, soft moans vibrating against his skin and his only sign before you came was your hips starting to roll desperately.

“Nod if you’re gonna cum,” you did and he hummed against you, picking up his pace, “-cum f’me then.”

Barou groaned against you as your body stuttered against him, your hands gripping his thighs behind you to support yourself and he caught you when you went slack in his arms, pulling his hand from your mouth he hooked it around your waist to hold you up. The other from your pussy he rose it to his mouth cleaning his fingers off.

“Shit, you taste good.”

The slamming on his door made you both jump and his grip on you tightened in response.

“Big brother! Mummy and Daddy are home, so stop smooching your girlfriend!!”

“Fuck-“

“Don’t swear big brother!”

“Get lost brat!”

You heard some kind of grumble under her breath as one of his sisters stomped off back down the stairs, seeing Barou flustered was rare and watching him grab clothes to put on, hard dick bouncing with each stride made you cackle. Earning a glare over his shoulders as he pulled a top on.

“Fuck you find so funny?”

You shrugged and adjusted your shorts before pulling your pony tail back to to tidy up.

“You’re still hard-“

“Yeah? No shit,”

Barou sneered under his breath as he sat on the bed to pull his socks on, dressing to go out on a run to match your attire because apparently that’ll hide the suspicion of both your flustered faces. You walked over and leaned down, tucking his hair behind his ear.

“I like your hair down, never seen it like this before. You’re real handsome you know that?”

He blushed, Barou Shouei fucking blushed, you didn’t mock or tease him on it, your soft eyes looking directly at his and they had a teary glaze over them. He blinked at you in surprise before rolling his eyes and returning back to his socks.

“Know its my birthday but stop with the crap. Coulda just got me some damn cleaning stuff, I don’t need all the compliments n’shit.”

His voice was low, trying to sound harsh but he just couldn’t, he just wanted to try and deflect that damn look on your face because it looked like some girl looking at the love of her life in corny romance show. His nerves kicked under his skin, his heart racing and he felt the heat in his cheeks but when he watched your eyes glisten and he hated it.

He’d known you since he was 12, he’s bullied you, called you all sorts of names. Hell he’s seen other girls get nasty to you but you’ve never cried, you’ve never had those pretty eyes glisten with tears.

He stood, rare concern suddenly fleeting over him and he cupped your face, thumbs wiping over your cheeks as the tears spilled down them, for a second he thought it was him -maybe he was too rough with you, too forceful and let his ego drive him.

“M’sorry its so fucking stupid,”

Barou Shouei was a deep thinker, his mind raced more than he let off and it started to, to the point a fleeting thought of you breaking up with him actually surfaced by his building paranoia. Even if it didn’t make fucking sense that you would, it still annoyingly crossed his mind.

“What’s stupid?”

“I think I’m in love with you, B.”

Shouei stopped breathing, he froze, eyes widening as they locked with your glassy ones and you laughed through crying.

“Happy Birthday, Barou!” You mumbled through silly tears, trying so hard to deflect it with your shitty humour but watching you laugh through tears almost made a smile form on his own mouth.

“The hell you damn cryin’bout it you idiot?”

You opened your mouth to respond but his covered yours before you could start blabbering something out to him, the kiss was slow and messy but it was his own way of responding to your confession. He could taste himself on your tongue, mixed with that cherry lip balm and he groaned into you.

“You’re my girl,” he spoke against your mouth before planting a kiss to your forehead and pushing you towards the door.

—0—

Blue lock was a shock.

It wasn’t easy to suddenly have Barou gone from your life when you were so used to having him around for the last seven years, but perhaps it was a good thing. Soccer was his priority and you knew that from day one, you never thought you were above it and quite frankly you didn’t care. Some of your girlfriends didn’t get it, perhaps they were more needy, wanting to enjoy their youths with boys and having that American dream. Driving in cars late and night, recreating the titanic scene with the steam window and hand prints.

You used the opportunity to do the same as Barou and that was focus on yourself, you concentrated on your studies you perused what you wanted and you taught yourself not to rely on him.

You sent him a text every Friday about your week, you sent him texts when you were horny, you sent photos, videos but there was never a delivered messaged, never a response. You tried to keep positive, you tried to not let his lack of existence bother you.

But it was hard, some nights you teared up and called yourself selfish, sometimes you scolded him for not even trying to contact you. What kept you going was coffee and that his future was about to take off with the dreams he had.

He simply had to do it and you knew he’d be recognised, he’d be successful.

The day he called without much to say was the day you knew something was up with him.

“Well, I’ll let you go king~ keep devouring, keep pushing yourself and keep learning Barou. You’re gonna eat them alive and when you’re back, you can eat me alive again~! Turns out that unholy mouth of yours really does show me heaven~!”

You laughed as you hung up and sure enough after he earned his phone back that day, after he asked for a photo of just you -nothing sexual, nothing crude, just a simple photo of you in a summer dress you knew he was missing you.

He never told you he loved you back but you never felt unloved by him.

He’d text you occasionally, sounding blunt and trying to come across like texting was taxing on his time, even though he was the one who often messaged first. Waking up at an ungodly hour to say good morning and texting before you even ate with a goodnight.

When the two weeks off from Blue Lock arrived and Barou appeared at your new apartment, moving out of your family home and the visit was anything but tame. You’d still not had sex before he left and he was about to change it, hearing some of the guys talking in the lockers, seeing your messages and photos, missing you in general made for a messy and truthfully painful first experience.

“Gotta let me in,” his third finger entered you, twisting before spreading them and you bucked up into him, panting as you gripped the pillows behind you, “-think I’m gonna fit if you're this tight around my fingers? Open up girl,”

His tongue pressed against your clit and your eyes rolled back, pussy spread out from his fingers exposing your hardened bundle of nerves to him.

“M’cumming Barou!”

He hummed against your clit, red eyes peering up at you from your pussy as his tongue swirled on you, watching your chest heaving, body stuttering as you came down from another high.

Barou withdrew his fingers, wrapping it around his cock and he pumped a few times, spreading slick across the head of his dick before pressing it to your entrance.

“You got the birth control, right?”

You nodded dumbly, still panting from orgasm and almost too fucked out to process that he’d pressed his thick head to your already swollen hole, until he started to push forward and you tensed at the stretch. Barou clicked his tongue, eyes focused on wanting to watch his dick sink into you for the first time, it flexed at the thought of being the one to spread you open.

But your struggle made something conflicting lurch in his chest.

“I-I know you wanna watch b, I need your help though —it’s too big.”

He groaned at your pleading tone, damn well melting for you and sourly reminding him just how easily he’d put you first compared to anyone else in his life, including himself.

Barou shifted, one arm resting above your head to hover over you, the other moved down to press a thumb to your clit and your hips bucked at the sensitivity.

“Look at me,”

You did as he asked, teary eyes meeting his and you hiked your knees higher up his sides, one leg curling around his back, sitting next to your hand gripping his ass, the other holding his wrist to tug it off your clit, lacing his fingers through yours and placing it near your head.

Pushing his hips forward until his thick head pushed through and you moaned, Barou inhaled sharply, restraining himself from just burying himself into the hilt. You were so damn warm and it was sucking him in, that moan was only spurring him to test his self control.

“S’it, let her suck me in, she wants it, so let me damn well give it and stop being a fuckin’ tease.”

He felt you relax and he took the opportunity, bullying the rest of his way in and pressing into you balls deep. Burying his face into your neck as his hips stuttered, airy moan breathed onto your skin. Your teeth met his shoulder, biting down on him muffling your pained whimper at the burn.

He stilled himself, fighting himself to not cum as you clamped around him letting you adjust before he gave a test thrust, one turning into two before he set a pace that had your cunt squelching under him in no time. Your hips rolling to meet his and he realised watching your face, your expressions and doe eyes all fucked out was a better first image to have of you like this for the first time.

Barou watched as your head tilted back, a noise he’d never heard leave you as you moaned in a way that was borderline unholy, it sent a pulse to his cock, flexing it inside you and spurred him to thrust harder.

“Make that noise again-“ he felt you tighten around him, still keeping your head tilted and your body tensed, “that’s it huh? Right here?”

You nodded and babbled at him, slurring words to encourage him not to stop, the slapping of his wet balls hitting your ass, cunt swallowing him sloppily as he hit that spot over and over until you came around him for the first time, your hands blinding reaching for him in support as you literally convulsed, eyes rolling back and toes curling.

“Atta girl,” he groaned into your neck as your body fell slack, breathing heavy under him and his pace turned feral. Chasing his own end and using you under him to catch it, the only reason he lasted this long was because you’d sucked the life from him before this.

You always got so wet with his cock in your mouth, he loved how much you loved it, wrapping your arms around his thighs, sliding his thick cock down your throat like a pro. He’d cum so hard he ended up pushing you off him because you wouldn’t stop, finding it funny he was jolting under you from overstimulation, making a noise he’d never heard leave him before; some beggy whine that made you moan on his cock.

He didn’t like mess, but hell he loved seeing his cock buried in your mouth with his cum drooling out.

“B-Barou I’m gonna cum again! Don’t stop! There, there, fuck harder please! Cum in me, fill me up!”

He groaned at your babbling, tears spilling down your cheeks, your breath hitching when he gave you a harder thrust that had you looking at him a little worried.

“Who you think you’re barking orders at huh?” He was panty, breathy as he spoke but his voice still so deep, little bite behind it as he felt himself about to cum.

“You want me to fill you up? Best hold it in, don’t fucking waste it.” You nodded dumbly, desperately at him.

“Hah- I won’t, I’m cumming, I’m gonna -I love you, fuck you’re so b-big,”

He smiled at you, heart hammering in his ribs; you were all his.

—0—

‘Rising star Barou Shouei and potential love interest sighted again!’

Barou’s career took off at 19, three years a now. Both at twenty two years old and you knew better than to be easily swayed by headliners. You ignored posts flying around the internet but this was the third time in a month a photo was posted with the same girl and this one was hard to ignore when she had her arm gripped around his bicep.

He hardly looked amused, if anything he looked annoyed but that wasn’t exactly a rare expression for him to present when dealing with anyone, even you at times you were sure of it.

You chewed the inside of your cheek between biting your nails, anxiety suddenly flooding you about how exactly you should handle this, you didn’t know his team mates to question them or ask if you should be worried, quite frankly you’d never met anyone in this new team of his.

He wouldn’t do this.. it’s just not Barou. Cheating just isn’t his thing, he values himself too highly for it.

You ignored the notification bars at the top of your phone, pinging from different girl friends who were sending different emojis to express anger, guessing they’d forwarded the recent post to you to see.

But when Barou’s caller ID came in, covering your entire screen you let out a yelp and flung the phone across to the sofa from where you were sat, holding your breath as it rang and exhaling heavily when it stopped. Placing your hand on your heart feeling it thumping against your ribs.

Shit.

Shit why did you do that?

It rang again but you had frozen in your place, your brain telling you to answer him but your body just wouldn’t move, the only relief was when it stopped ringing.

The pinging of texts began and you picked the phone back up, watching as Barou started to message.

B > Answer your damn phone,

B > Oi! Woman you wanted me to call at seven.

You thumbs clumsily flew across the screen, your bubble showing as typing and it took Barou less than five seconds to hit the call button again.

“H-Hey B, sorry I-uh,”

“The fuck you sound like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re doing summit you shouldn’t be, you not been using that damn toy again have you? Told you not to use it unless I’m-“

“N-No! I wasn’t doing that, Jesus Christ Barou what if someone heard you!?”

“Why? You with someone?”

“No. Aren’t you?”

Your hand slapped across your mouth when the words left you in a snarky tone, your annoyance getting the better of you before you could stop it, a heavy sigh left him breaking the tension, his gruff voice quieter than usual.

“Ignore that bullshit online, she’s the new physio for the team, just clingy as hell.”

“So, she just gets her hands all over you when I’m not there?”

“Well yeah, she’s does treatment and sports massage, it’s no big deal. Stop with the crybaby shit, it ain’t like you.”

Oblivious freaking idiot. Your phone tucked between your shoulder and head, because your hands wrung an invisible neck in front of you like Homer with Bart.

“Yeah, sorry, it’s just me being a brat huh? M’gonna go Barou, I’m tired. speak to you in a few days when you’re not so busy with your team or new physio.”

The line going dead was far from a pleasant feeling, heart dropping to his stomach he stared at the home screen of his phone, that pretty photo of you in a sundress he’d changed back in blue lock three years ago. Barou being shocked was rare, you were both twenty two now and you’d never acted like this in ten years. It felt different, his guy was screaming at him leaving it to sit heavy in his stomach.

You’d never gone to bed without saying goodnight, you’d never got angry to the point where you’d literally shut him off and he needed more fingers to count the amount of times he had said something shitty. You usually fired back, that stubbornness you had and that he found always so endearing.

Opening up the chat of you both he stared at your name, but you never came back online.

It didn’t stop him sending a text goodnight though.

When he woke to no routine good morning text, despite you having read his goodnight text at 5am it gave a sour start to his day. He didn’t do anything wrong, you were throwing a damn tantrum over nothing so he opted to give you space.

“Heh, trouble in paradise aye?”

Barou only side glared at snuffy, ignoring his attempt of conversation as the striker sat in front of the obnoxiously large tv playing whatever film took his fancy this evening whilst stretching himself out.

“Showed in your training today,”

“If you’re just here to talk shit then fuck off, I ain’t in the mood.”

Taking a seat on the sofa behind Barou, he hummed and watched the tv.

“Didn’t wanna say back along but kinda figured this would happen, girls are a distraction y’know?”

“Didn’t see you looking troubled in the hot tub photos of ya with them girls, go preach to Aiku, my girl ain’t your concern.”

“Wrong-“ Snuffy twirled the remote to the tv around in his hand, starting to flick through the channels, “-anything that runs a risk to my team playin’ is my concern. ‘Sides whilst we’re on the topic, you not thought about other girls? Instead of being with the same one? Haven’t you been with her for like, forever?”

“Sixteen and no.”

“Or not thought about how feels with you being away more than with her? Long distance is such a drag, you’re both missing out on life.”

The statement didn’t trigger Barou to think about himself, he was living his goals in life and thriving, coming back to you was a reward, a comfort he’d always known so he wasn’t trouble by any of it. But he’d never once stopped to think about you and your life at home, waiting for him to come back whilst he was off travelling the world. You never complained, you never seemed sad and always supported him, but was it all a front? Was he stopping you from living as freely as he was? He hated the thought of someone else making you happy, someone else taking his position and being around you more than he was -someone else fucking you and seeing that dumb, love struck look you gave him.

He’d never even told you he loved you back, he never felt he needed to because you just got him in ways no one else did.. but if he couldn’t even give you that, how could he give you the type of relationship you deserved?

You deserved everything and more.

“I guess we’re all different, I know I sure as hell couldn’t do it. one of the guys overheard your conversation about the new physio, the media has been in a frenzy about it so putting two and two together isn’t difficult. But fix it, it’s affecting your play and you’re headlining at the moment, don’t let this ruin your high.”

—0—

You never called him back and he hated it.

He really fucking hated it.

But instead of biting the bullet and making the move himself Barou festered and festered. His focus on football made the days go quickly but the evenings were agonisingly slow and his red eyes drifted to his phone in hopes to see your name more than he’d like to admit.

Despite his stubbornness in making the move, because Barou Shouei would never chase anyone, he was starting to wonder if this was for the best. Perhaps you’d both been together too long it just became a habit, something he was so used to that he never thought about anything else or anyone else.

Did that mean he was holding you back? Were you being selfless and he selfish?

His move to Italy wasn’t exactly a great distance to be at when things like this happened, you were both so far apart that it was difficult to just reach out, Barou didn’t think long distance was much of an issue until something went wrong.

“Hey Barou, it’s time for your physio!”

The man sucked his teeth, not particularly in the mood to deal with this girl who’d been causing havoc in his relationship.

Oliver came out groaning, swinging his shoulders and arms like tension had been released.

“She’s so good, honestly babe those hands are magic.”

She giggled at him and waved him off trying to act modest and Barou sent a harsh glare towards both.

“I’ll skip tonight, hands ain’t going anywhere near me after touching that slime ball, fuck knows what’s over your hands.”

She rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips.

“I bought all new hand sanitizers and wipes Shouei so get your butt in there!”

Oliver elbowed him and gave a wink, suggestive and mocking, something that made Barou’s fist curl into a ball.

“You’d be shit in a threesome,”

“Get fucked fuckboy.”

“Eh, that’s suggestive-“ Oliver recoiled with false disgust, “-you really would be shit, didn’t know you swung both ways. I ain’t into that man, only bottom I’m ever being is under a pretty girl.”

“Will you shut up? You’re disgusting.”

“You’re such grump! When was the last time you got laid or you still arguing with miss perfect? She’s wasted on you y’know, man she’s wife material, imagine the attention she gets when you ain’t there.”

Barou’s fist swung so quickly it gave zero time for Aiku to get away, just managing to miss the worst of the punch it still grazed his cheek. What he wasn’t expecting was Barou’s knee to end up in his stomach, the man urged from the impact shocked that Shouei actually managed to land a hit on him. Then slightly impressed by the fact it took more than half the team to hold him back, even then he made their feet move.

“Shouei, that’s enough!”

Perhaps Aiku had pushed a little more than he should have, but he kinda found it hard to ignore when he’d heard about trouble in paradise with you both, he hoped his taunt would spur Barou into contacting you… that it would stop his tantrum, get his head out his ass and get his head back in the game.

Cause even Aiku had seen the worth in you and Barou losing that would be foolish.

He just didn’t realise how much worse it had made it instead.

—0—

On day four in lack of communication with your boyfriend left you feeling heavy and guilty. Finding yourself sat at home staring at a letter that had arrived this morning, you graduated your degree yesterday, passing your courses and got a placement to be a paramedic.

You should be celebrating, you should be happy. Maybe out with friends, others who graduated and family. Your Mother, Father and Brother had attended the graduation and you were hoping Barou would have been there, you weren’t expecting him to be nor blamed him because he was in Italy following his own career dreams.

You never stopped him, you never expected him to detour from his focus and knew it required the majority of his time.

A small, selfish part of you was wishing he could have just paused just once to share it with you, a small part of you told yourself how amazing it would have been if him not contacting you was because he was flying back to secretly turn up at the graduation. Instead due to your stubbornness in not calling him back, you hadn’t even received a phone call or text or say congratulations.. was this your fault? Had you been a little too sensitive and dramatic about it? Were you being paranoid for no reason? You’d never been threatened by girls with him before, so why was this bothering you so?

Your gaze returned to your phone sat in your hands, silent and cold, the screen black from being untouched and you knew if you unlocked the phone it would show Barou’s contact details.

Because you’d been hovering over the call button for the last thirty minutes after opening the incredible offer letter in front of you.

It was frustrating that he didn’t seem to understand why you were annoyed and hurt, which was ridiculous because he didn’t even actually do anything wrong besides dismiss how you felt. It didn’t help either that only yesterday another photo was posted of him and the teams new physio yet again named as his potential girlfriend.

Funny how you never seen photos of her with the other boys in the team.

Nice to see that he wasn’t even trying to solve it.

You didn’t realise you were crying until little drops fell onto your black screen, your vision clouding as they filled your eyes finally springing free.

Sometimes you just needed a good cry right? Maybe it would be a good idea to get it out now before you called him, it would make it less likely you’d cry on the phone right?

The thought of letting go for a minute was enough to let the tears erupt to a sob, one of those ugly cries you needed to get out your system and you started to feel better after another thirty minutes of crying.

You wiped your tears beforing shoving your hair into a messy bun, sudden courage in you springing forth now the silliness was out of the way. A face of determination as you wiped against at your face before slapping your cheeks.

“C’mon girl, you’re being silly. It’s now or never!”

You grabbed your phone and didn’t give yourself a second of hesitation in clicking the call button.

It felt like it rang forty times, feeling ever so dramatic and like time had slowed because it only took three rings for Barou to answer.

Okay.

Good start, he answered super fast.

“Heeeeeey! Shouei’s phone!”

Your jaw dropped at the girls voice, your breath hitched in your throat and you were pretty sure your eyes almost fell out their sockets like something from Tom and Jerry.

Your voice failed you, the movement and voices turning into nothing but muffled noises because your heart was thumping so loudly in your chest your ribs were vibrating.

Fuck why were you sweating all of a sudden? Why did you feel so hot?

Christ almighty were you about to be sick?

A deeper voice calling your name eventually brought you back, you had no idea how many times Barou had said it only that by the time you registered it was him saying it you noticed concern lacing into it, because when Barou was concerned he sounded kinda pissed off like he wasn’t quite able to handle the uncertainty of something, like when his control and confidence slipped he faltered.

“Uh, I’m sorry didnt mean to- uh, I didn’t mean to bother you? I’m sorry I just, I’m sorry, we can talk later I -“

You babbled, you stumbled and you over apologised for something you didn’t even need to apologise for.

Fuck it should be him!

The fuck were you saying sorry for?!

His voice was calm, stern and trying to keep the situation from escalating he called your name in a way that brought tears to your eyes.

Fuck good was all that crying for if you were getting so easily overwhelmed like this?!

“Oi, you trust me right?”

Your hand clasped over your mouth before you could say anything, along with hiding the sob behind it but Barou heard.

You heard a door closing on his end, you heard him moving somewhere.

Did you trust him? You were overwhelmed, far too emotional at the moment and confused to even answer that, you faltered because it was all too much.

You wanted to say yes you trusted him, you wanted to speak, to talk to him about the offer letter because it would be a good thing to discuss, it was good timing.

But your sob broke through the silence again.

“Hey, don’t do that shit-“ he was quiet, his voice still carrying his usual deepness but there was something added into it you’d never heard from him, almost soothing, caring and it made you sob harder because it reminded you when you told him you loved him and silly cried over it, stupid emotions! Why couldn’t they just let you be strong for five minutes?!

“-we need to talk, huh.”

“Yeah,”

Your heart plummeted into your stomach, its fight to stay in your chest lost as the acid crept into it, churning in your stomach as your gut was telling you where this was going, your heart unable to fight or resist any longer.

“It ain’t gonna work like this, you deserve better-“

How fucking dare he.

Rage wasn’t something you felt often, it wasn’t in your personality to get angry like this, feeling it burn under your skin and desperate to act out physically. In fact the last time you remember feeling like this was when you kicked the ball into 12 year old Barou’s face for degrading your younger brother.

It suddenly became easier to hold yourself together a little better, focusing on feeling more angry than upset, them moving together in some aid to feed your fiery side.

“-if that’s what you want, Shouei.”

You were sure the lingering echo of tears and upset still clung to your tone, regardless of how strong you sounded on your side your lip was wobbling and your eyes were blurring with tears.

“I dunno what I want.”

“If it’s got to that point, then that’s the answer for us both.”

His silence was disturbing and it was only giving you room to allow another crying session to break through the very thin self restraint holding it back.

So you took control.

“Take care Shouei, all the best to you and her.”

“Oi, I ain’t with her, it ain’t like that I told you to ignore that shit in the med-“

Call ended.

Red eyes stayed down at his phone cutting off back to his background of you, hanging up on him before he was even able to finish his sentence, the regret already firing through his stomach as the heaviness of guilt made even his strong shoulders hunch.

Fuck, what the fuck did he just do?

Barou flicked to your name in his call log, thumb not even hesitating over your name as he went to call you back.

Sorry this number is not available, please call back later.

Never one for caring about social media until this moment he went to yours, still having accessing to it he scanned through going to click the message button, stopping himself when he realised why you deserved better, deserved someone who would give you the time you should have.

seeing your photos of your graduation yesterday and being so wrapped up on his own shit he hadn’t even reached out; he didn’t even remember it. Isagi commented on it, of course he fucking did but Aikueven acknowledged your achievement in the comments, he didn’t know you even knew Aiku.

He locked his phone, throwing it onto his bed and pinching the bridge of his nose to try take away the sting flaring through it, his throat running dry as his vision suddenly blurred.

He cleared his throat, fighting away any progress on that happening he never even cried as a baby!

Perhaps this was for the best, even if it felt wrong.

The feeling would pass with time.

Right?

—0—

You removed Barou on socials, blocking his number and ways to contact until you felt ready to face the music, coming off socials as well to avoid actually seeing anymore posts.

You needed to learn to be selfish now and focus on yourself, start a life without Barou and maybe learn some new things about yourself, pushing yourself out your comfort zone would be the first place to start… after devouring tubs of ice cream and sobbing over titanic on repeat.

Jack could have damn well fit on that door!

You could already hear the lyrics at the back of your mind, ready to messily sing along to Near, far, wherever you are believe that the heart does go on, once more, you open the door, and ou're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on.

Oh it was gonna happen, you were gonna be a mess.

You sat numbly looking at the letter in front of you through blurry tears looking like a blotch of white on your coffee table. You had options to be placed abroad for two year’s experience, you didn’t think your option of Italy would actually get offered, your second choice was England.

You’d got the highest marks and worked your ass off to improve your chances to get your offer, but the idiot Shouei wouldn’t ever know anything about that would he.

Now all you had to do was decide a box to tick.

You were calling Barou to tell him you could accept Italy, that for the first time in your lives you could be together longer than a few weeks at a time, maybe finally move in together.

Once again your life was moving towards him, because of him and it needed to stop.

England might be a refreshing option.

You’re pretty sure Isagi had friends there on another soccer team, Nagi was it?

©pharix/lonelystarrs 2023 permission is not given to repost, translate or post anywhere else.

#bllk barou #barou shouei #bllk fanfic #bllk smut #blue lock #blue lock nagi #bllk x reader #barou smut #barou x you #barou shouei smut #barou shouei x reader #barou shoei #blue lock barou #barou x reader #nagi seishiro x you #nagi x you #bllk nagi #nagi seishiro x reader

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buggyjuggie · 2 months

Note

Could you do Johnny, Kitana, Kung Lao, Syzoth, and/or Smoke w/ a reader who has a Katya Zamolodchikova type personality/sense of humour? I'm talking pure chaos, but with a loving and caring vulnerable side. :)

──★ ˙ ̟ Johnny Cage, Kitana, Kung Lao, Syzoth and Smoke x GN!reader with a Katya personality

Note: I watched so much rupauls drag race just for this request because i was so scared of getting something wrong oh god i really hope you like it also @rueschronic you saved me i love you bitch

「 ✦ Kung Lao ✦ 」

* SHIT TALKING DUO

* you and Kung Lao are competitive and like to show off both of you can walk into any place and all eyes are on yall

* Both of you lift each other up as much as you can because you and Kung lao both know what it feels like to put on a character/facade or joke around people even when your hurting on the inside or try to hide it to appear fine

* When you called him queen he wore that like a badge of honour

* He picks up your vocabulary extremely fast and manages to confuse everyone around him

「 ✦ Johnny cage ✦ 」

* THE duo not a duo it’s THE duo

* I feel like Johnny has wanted to try out more ,,feminine” things but due to holywood and it being looked down upon he hasn’t yet until you gave him reality check and remined him that no one cares (bitch)

* Like Kung lao you and Johnny have that one thing in common: a character. Both of you act a certain way and have built a character to show off to people. People know ,,Johnny Cage” but do they know John Carlton. As more time passes you and Johnny start working on tearing those walls down and showing your true honest selves of course without loosing those confident attitudes

* Clubbing, going out, after party’s all the time most weekends will be endend with you and Johnny at his house not knowing how you got back home but not really needing to know because you’ll be too busy cuddling one another

* Has definitely asked you to be stunt performer because he knows that you can strut your shit like a its a performance

「 ✦ Kitana ✦ 」

* You captured Kitanas attention right away

* Kitana enjoys her status and work as a princess of Outworld but it does become dull at points. The people being careful around her, underestimating her and treating her almost like a porcelain doll

* Not you tho you treat Kitana like a normal person, tell her things honestly and aren’t afraid of what she can do

* Kitana is very observant she sees that you hide behind jokes and when she finally confront you about you let eveything out. All the toughts of self doubt, anxiety are washed away with promises from her to protect you and keep you safe for as long as she is alive

* A lot of time with Kitana and you is spent sparring or you telling her about Earthrealm, languages and culture (Kitana is prob a history nerd sue me)

「 ✦ Syzoth ✦ 」

* He was enamoured by you at first sight

* Because of his zetteran liniage Syzoth understands your struggles. Wanting to be yourself but the world rejecting it deeming it ,,too much” or even distasteful. He assures you to the best of his abilities that he’ll never leave you and will stay by your side no matter what

* ,,mother? But im a man” ,,slay ? Slay what ?” Her a little confused when it come to slang but slowly starts to understand it

* If you do drag or are interested in drag TELL IT ALL TO THIS MAN. Syzoth absolutely loves learning about earthrealm its cultures and norms and how people express themselves

* You insulted him once in a joking way and he didn’t understand that you were joking and it ended up in a hugs and kisses session for like 30 min and a long as hell explanation

「 ✦ Smoke ✦ 」

* The walking definition of polar opposites

* Smoke is quiet ,reserved and introverted meanwhile your loud, not afraid to make a scene and get dirty and extroverted

* ,,Excuse me he asked for no pickles” you say as Smoke stands in the background like a wet puppy

* Smoke is the only person who knows about your anxiety’s he does his best to assure that you are loved for who you are

* If you do nails he’s constantly asking you to do his. Smoke just really enjoys having pretty nails that match with his beautiful partner

*. ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

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bluejeanstrash · 10 months

Note

you’re so right … something about him in a button up is just so *shivers* … so if you don’t mind, what are your thoughts on ceo husband woozi?!?

- 💐 anon

now…about ceo husband woozi.

- first, let’s talk about him as a ceo—universally loved and deeply respected. he’s very humble and never makes a big deal about his position, but his quiet competence demands respect.

- and he expects this respect to be extended to you. his wife will be treated with respect and if he sees anyone doing otherwise, that person is gone. period. no second chances when it comes to you.

- he’s personable but usually reserved when interacting with his employees but when someone asks about you his face visibly lights up.

- kind of a wife-guy. in the best way. like, will make sure his schedule doesn’t interrupt lunch with you (and if someone calls he’ll very calmly remind them i’m with my wife right now. now’s not the time), will always send over a car when you’re coming to the office, etc. basically will make sure you’re comfortable and taken care of, always.

- is unaware of how hot people find him in the office. i don’t see woozi as a suit-wearing ceo but more of a shirt with sleeves rolled up (yes, this is self-indulgent) and formal pants type. plus a very expensive heavy watch he wears on his wrist, which is his only ‘show’ of wealth. and when he folds his built arms during meetings, his face all serious, the employees are LOOKING and lamenting god, i want him so bad. his wife is so lucky.

- unfortunately for them woozi has never even looked at anyone else and literally has no interest in anyone else. his entire being is devoted to you, and you’re the only one he desires.

- very proudly keeps his arm wrapped around your waist at formal events while he talks you up, his amazing wife. and at the dinners, he keeps one hand resting on your thigh, sometimes to reassure you with his presence and other times to caress and tease till you get worked up.

- speaking of getting worked up…he loves fucking you in his office. what really turns him on is a quickie before his meetings. if he has a meeting at 3:30 pm, woozi’s buried deep inside you at 3:24.

both of you are fully clothed, only his pants are unzipped and your dress has been pulled up. he makes you sit on his lap and ride him while his hands grip your waist tight. as you bounce on his dick, he groans, eyes dropping to his watch to check the time every few seconds. they’re going to be walking in here in 6 minutes. be a good little girl and cum for me. and when you tell him you can’t yet he simply says then you can cum while they all watch, because i’m not letting you go until i feel you dripping down my cock.

and so you speed up, fucking him faster as you play with your clit, his heavy grunts pushing you closer and closer until you start to cum, squeezing around his cock which always pushes him over edge. as you feel him release his warm thick cum inside you, there’s a polite knock on the door. sir, it’s time for your 3:30 meeting. should i let them in?

you quickly pull off him, both of you fixing yourselves as he tells his secretary to send them in. he smiles, giving you little tap on the ass as everyone walks in, bowing to him respectfully. come in, just give me a minute, i’m just saying goodbye to my wife. everyone bows to you politely as you walk to the door, woozi’s hand around your waist and his cum dripping down the side of your thigh.

i’ll see you at home, love. he leans in to give you a kiss on the cheek, just like a respectable ceo husband would, pretending like he didn’t just cum inside you a minute earlier.

so, anyway, those are my thoughts on ceo husband woozi.

#i’m not too sure what this was but this is how i imagine ceo husband woozi #and now it’s got me thinking of ceo husband coups 🫡#woozi smut #woozi x reader #lee jihoon #jihoon smut #jihoon x reader #woozi #woozi drabble #jihoon drabble

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changetyre · 9 months

Text

HE MADE ME FEEL DIRTY (DR3) Ⓢ Ⓦ

SUMMARY: Work has been hell for you ever since your breakup with your ex boyfriend. His fragile masculinity making him want to shout out to the world it was all your fault and no one should want to come close to you. (Daniel Ricciardo x Reader)

WARNINGS: STDs, toxic relationships, insecurities, cheating, terribly written soft smut. This one is also a little on the longer side ;) and also not proofread ;(

A/N: First time I write a longer story on here ;) lmk if you like it.

It all started when your boyfriend had slowly become more and more distant from you. You hadn't been dating that long but there was a moment everything changed and from then you couldn't even remember the last time you were even intimate with him, having to satisfy yourself with toys and your own hands for the past 2 months.

He came home one day furious and you didn't understand why but to be honest this was the most interaction you'd had with him in a while. He shoved past you, ignoring your questions before he started packing his clothes.

"What are you doing? What happened?!" You shouted for the umpteenth time.

"What happened is that I had to take a blood test at work today and it came back positive for an STD! This is all your fault!" He yelled.

It took you a second to truly comprehend what he'd said. You had been forced to take the blood test as well but yours came back clean so you knew that only meant one thing but why was he blaming you?

Several people found out. The gossip spread like wildfire in a team like that. But he had a plan, he was so embarrassed by his results and everyone found out that he started blaming you, amongst his friends he called you a whore, and he claimed you cheated on him and that was the reason he caught it, victimizing himself and placing the blame entirely on you.

Work was hell after that, people eyed you, judge you, and all of a sudden people treated you like you were highly contagious, avoiding you, even those who claimed to be your friends.

So when one day one of your co-workers, some would even claim the most important one, approached you and starts talking to you, you were completely startled and taken aback as was everyone else around you.

Daniel Ricciardo just a few days after his first day in office had opted for making conversation with you.

"I'm Daniel." He extended his hand out to you in the cafeteria. You looked down at his hand hesitating, you could feel everyone's gaze on you and it was like the whole building went silent as they witnessed the interaction.

"y/n." You took his hand. You had to admit it made you feel uncomfortable not because of him but because you'd been deprived of touch and attention for so long that it felt wrong.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" He then asked as he grabbed some food for himself.

"Uhm, are you sure?" You were still hesitant. Why was he doing this? Surely he'd heard what everyone said about you.

But Daniel wasn't afraid of what people thought, he knew exactly what it felt like to have everyone treat you like the ugly duckling.

During your first interaction, you only gave short and quick replies to him not being used to the attention for so long but also not wanting him to ruin his own reputation by talking to you. To be fair you'd lost so much trust in people a part of you felt like it was all a joke.

But as days, turn to weeks and weeks turn to months and Daniel keeps talking to you every day you grow close, and it's only long after that you realize how real your friendship is.

Daniel never gives up talking to you, he hasn't admitted it to you yet but he finds you gorgeous, funny, and interesting.

You were eating lunch at the paddock one afternoon when your mind began spiraling once again and you finally built up the courage to ask Daniel what you'd been wanting to do since the first day he spoke to you. "Danny, why do you talk to me?"

"What?" Daniel was confused by your question.

"C, mon you're not blind, you can see you're the only person in this team who talks to me. And I know you've heard the rumors so why do you talk to me?" you set your fork down and looked at him waiting for an answer.

He set his cutlery down too. "I have heard the rumors." he began.

You looked down, embarrassment consuming you despite the fact that you knew your innocence.

"But I don't give a shit." he shrugged. "For all I care, it's all bullshit, and even if it wasn't I don't care. You're kind, compassionate, funny, gorgeous, and incredible and that's all that matters to me."

You didn't expect Daniel's reply and you felt overwhelmed. "I-" You were speechless.

"Listen I don't know what happened. But I'm ready to listen whenever you want to tell me." Daniel had reached over grabbing your hand across the table.

You weren't sure why but his words made you emotional. Someone was finally willing to listen after so long. You felt tears begin to prickle in your eyes.

"I'm sorry I have to go." You got up wiping your eye quickly before Daniel could notice before you practically ran way from him.

But Daniel noticed. He saw the way your words got caught in your throat and he saw the way you wiped the tears from your eyes but this only prompted him to seek you out more.

___

You stood under the shower letting the water fall over you. You were stuck in your thoughts about what Daniel had said this afternoon. No one had spoken to you like that in a long time and you'd almost forgotten what it felt like to have someone care.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard knocking at your hotel room door. You shut off the water listening out, maybe the knocking wasn't on your door. But then there it was again, louder and more persistent.

You stepped out of the shower and quickly wrapped a towel around yourself. You walked to your hotel door and opened it slightly peaking your head around.

"Daniel?" You weren't exactly sure why you were surprised to see him, it wasn't unusual for him to come visit you at your hotel room or vice versa but given your last conversation you thought he might want to avoid you for a while.

He looked like he had something on his mind and this was confirmed when he opened the door wide pushing past you.

"Look y/n I'm sorry if I said something that I shouldn't have before and I know I said that I would give you time to tell me your story whenever you felt ready but..."

Daniel stopped himself once he saw you hugging your chest trying to cover yourself up as much as you could.

"Oh..." you didn't miss the way his eyes scanned your body. "I'm sorry I didn't know-" He turned around facing away from you.

Although you knew he did it out of respect you weren't able to push away the thought that he turned away out of repulsion. You rushed into the bathroom and pulled on a bathrobe around your body.

"Daniel, what are you doing here?" You finally spoke signaling for him that he could turn around.

He turned around and you saw his eyes scan your body once more, you almost thought you could see a look of disappointment in his eyes which only made you more conscious. Was he expecting you to be fully dressed?

"I didn't mean to push earlier." he spoke finally looking into your eyes. "But I care about you and I've tried to be patient but I can't hide it anymore-" he took a pause.

Nerves filled your stomach. Nothing positive realistically came to mind. "It's okay- I understand you wanna get away from me..." you began, your voice shaky

"Wait what?" Daniel asked confused.

"You stuck with me longer than most people do, but I get it he talked to you, you believed him, and I don't blame you because-" You avoided his eyes

"Hey hey stop what are you talking about-" Daniel walked closer and grabbed your face between his hands gently. "Why would you think that." He wiped his thumbs under your eyes making you realize you had started crying.

"He talked to you? He told you I cheated? Told you I gave him an STD and I'm a who-"

"Shhh." He interrupted you before you could finish. "stop that." Daniel pulled you into his chest. "Don't say that, whatever he said I don't care for it, I only care for you." He reassured you. He held you tightly but once you realized you were only in your bathrobe you started feeling self-conscious once more.

It only sunk in now, coming to realize how being treated dirty for so long has made you feel dirty in your head, you’re scared of people touching you, Daniel touching you despite knowing you never did anything wrong in the first place. Your ex, he made you feel dirty.

You pull away and Daniel notices the sudden shift in your attitude, the way you pull your robe a little closer to yourself, almost as if you were trying to hide in it.

"Why do you do that?" This time Daniel decided not to keep quiet.

"Do what?" You weren't actually sure what he meant.

"Why do you hide from me?" He asked again.

Your eyes snapped up to his, not having been confronted about this ever. "I don't know what-"

"Don't do that." Daniel said sternly but not aggressively.

You just stared at him, you could tell he wasn't going to let this know, he'd come here with a mission and you had a strong feeling it had to do with making you open up.

"I feel disgusting." Your voice broke. "He made me feel so dirty, and gross and people have avoided me so much, they've avoided touching me for so long that it doesn't feel okay anymore, like....like I'm not allowed to be touched anymore," you revealed.

Daniel wondered if you could hear his heart shatter in his chest if you could see the way his chest tightened at hearing your words. The mix of anger and hurt about what someone had done to you, someone so beautiful and pure as you. He wanted nothing but to wrap you in his arms and whisper sweet words to you until he could make you see the woman he saw.

"Let me touch you," Daniel whispered, softly as if not trying to scare you away.

As much as your body screamed to be touched by him you couldn't shake off the discomfort your mind caused. "Daniel I-"

"Please." He pleaded, stepping closer but not reaching out to you yet. "Please let me show you how wrong you are, let me be the one to help you put back what he broke and make you art with my hands."

You just looked at him again, his words were enough to cause all sorts of emotions to flutter in you. And despite your mind telling you to run your heart and body fought harder, giving him a small nod.

Daniel walked closer reaching out to scoop your face in his hands once again. He didn't miss the way your breath hitched and your eyebrows furrowed slightly at the contact.

He was so gentle, stroking your cheeks before his other hands slowly made their way around you pulling you closer to him by your waist.

Your face was so close to his, the closest it had been to another person in what felt like forever it half excited you and half scared you.

"You're so beautiful," Daniel whispered to you before he closed the gap between the both of you planting his lips on yours.

You let out a moan as soon as he began moving his lips, it almost embarrassed you and you would've pulled away if it wasn't for Daniel's hand sliding to the back of your neck and pulling you closer.

For Daniel, it was hard, not because of anything you imagined but because he had been so desperate for this for so long, wanting nothing but to be able to feel you, to taste you and it was almost embarrassing for him how quickly he got turned on by that simple moan that it became evident in his pants.

He began planting kisses across your jaw and down your neck. "Look at what you do to me," He whispered.

You looked down and saw what he was talking about and the smirk that appeared on your lips made you realize the boost of confidence this gave you.

This was enough for you to feel okay with reaching out to Daniel, intertwining your fingers in his curls, and gripping his shirt to pull him closer to you.

"Please make me feel good." You pulled Daniel back up to face you and your words not only took him by surprise but you too.

Daniel wasted no time scooping you in his arms as he walked further into your hotel room and placed you in the center of the bed.

In a quick motion, he removed his shirt chucking it across the room. Your mouth watered at the sight of Daniel's sculpted body that you couldn't help but reach out to feel his body with your own fingers, tracing the squares down his body.

Daniel let out of grown that made the space between your legs tingle. "Don't be such a tease." he leaned down to continue his trail of kisses down your neck.

You giggled but it was soon replaced by a big sigh as Daniel's finger slipped under the collar of the robe pushing it to the side as he began kissing down your collarbone and further and further down.

He got up once again to remove his pants which had now become painfully tight around his legs leaving only his boxers.

"Here." He went to undo the knot that held the robe together but not before looking into your eyes for approval.

Once again your mind tried talking you out of it but you had never felt so sure of anything in your life and you knew you'd be okay, he'd take care of you so once again you gave him a nod of approval.

Daniel pulled the lace that held the robe together and undid it. He then pushed the two sides of the robe apart presenting you completely bare to him. Daniel didn't stop until the robe was completely off you and it joined the rest of his clothes on the ground.

Your arms and hands instinctively went across your body trying to cover yourself.

"Don't hide." Daniel reminded you gently prying your hands off yourself and gently pining them beside you by intertwining his fingers with yours and keeping them in place down on the bed.

He didn't give your mind time to wonder much longer as he continued his mission of kissing your entire body occasionally licking stripes on the way down that had your mind in a haze.

"You ready?" Daniel asked.

And you looked up to realize he was now in between your legs. Once again nodding Daniel continued.

He licked a stripe across your folds which made your chest rise.

"Daniel please-" You begged feeling no shame this time at the desperation in your voice.

"shh, I'll take care of you." he whispered causing his breath to hit your now most sensitive area. Goosebumps filled your entire body.

But he did, he laid another lick along your folds before diving deeper, sucking on your bud for a few seconds before licking it in all sort of directions.

You were a moaning mess above him, squeezing his hands tightly which were still intertwined with yours. You felt Daniel release on of your hands before you felt it grab one of your breasts and he began to flick your nipple with caused an overwhelming sensation across your body.

"Dan....I...I can'-t" you physically couldn't form a sentence, your entire body was consumed in pleasure.

"Yes, you can baby just let go." Daniel could feel the way your pussy twitched on his lips and he knew you were close.

"Oh my...I'm gonna-" You weren't even able to finish before you had let out a guttural moan, your back arching off the bed as your legs shivered from the first orgasm you'd had in way too long, you were sure not even your ex had ever given you an orgasm like this one in your entire relationship.

Once you were coming down from your high Daniel was already above you and in front of you placing soft kisses on your cheek and jaw. "You okay?" He asked with so much care in his voice.

You laughed. You knew you must have looked dazed but the adoration in his eyes was hard to miss which caused you to blush. "Yeah. More than okay." You admitted.

Daniel laid beside you but his body was still turned to yours.

"I want more." you realized Daniel was willing to submit his own pleasure just so you would feel comfortable, so you wouldn't feel pushed but your body ached to feel more of him.

"You don't have to, we can take it slow." Daniel stroked your hair back reassuring you.

"No Daniel, please." You leaned closer to him, your legs crossing with his and you could feel his hard member against your leg. "Please fuck me," you whispered against his lips.

Daniel thought he couldn't get turned on even more but after hearing your words he couldn't hold back anymore. He brought you closer into a deep sloppy kiss, tongues fighting for dominance.

He angled your leg up and over his waist, as he slotted himself between you, he lined himself up with you and luckily you were wet enough that he knew you didn't need lube.

But as soon as you felt his tip close to you those insecurities rose again. "Daniel you don't have a condom." You pointed out, you didn't actually need him to wear one but you wanted to make sure he realized what he was doing.

"I trust you." He looked straight into your eyes as he said so. "But if you want me to put one on I can.

It was hard to believe someone could be so kind to you, it was hard to believe someone could care so much about what you thought after being treated the opposite for so long. You shook your head.

You nodded once again for the night. "Keep going." You voiced.

Daniel brought you into a kiss again before pushing in trying to distract your mind from the sting you would feel. He was slow making sure your walls adjusted to him inch by inch listening to your moans as indications to keep going until he was fully in you.

He waited for your signal to move.

"Fuck me, Daniel." You sighed against his chest.

He began thrusting slowly, hearing your sighs of pleasure, watching and feeling the way you scratched his back and chest in pleasure.

"You like that baby?" He knew you did, he could hear and feel you did but he still wanted to hear it straight from you.

"Yeah." You moaned. "Please faster." you begged.

Daniel propped himself up on his arm before slowly turning you around so he was over you, making sure not to pull out at any point. Once you were on your back he leaned his arms on either side of your head and began thrusting into you deeper and faster.

"Oh, sh*t." You cursed as the pleasure only intensified.

"Ah, baby I'm gonna cum." Daniel moaned, the new angle proving too much for him.

"Me too." You confessed. "Sh*t."

Daniel tried to hold on until you finished so that he could continue and luckily he was able to.

"I'm cumming!" You announced and he could see the way your body shivered under him, feeling you clench around him which was making it almost impossible for him to hold on, after he could tell your orgasm was done he pulled out.

He was ready to cum on your stomach but was completely taken aback when you quickly sat up pulling him closer and into your mouth.

As soon as your lips touched his dick he came inside your mouth, grunting at each spurt that pulsed out of his member watching you take all of it in your mouth.

"Fuck that's hot." He groaned at the last drips that came out of him, watching you lick his tip clean before swallowing.

"Yum." You licked your lips clean with a smile on your face.

"Fuck I love you," Daniel spoke before collapsing beside you.

"What?" You propped yourself up on your elbows to face him.

"What?" Daniel was confused.

"What did you say?" your heart was beating fast again and it wasn't just because of the amazing sex you'd just had.

"Oh." Daniel's eyes widened realizing the words that had come out of his mouth. "Oh, sh*t that wasn't supposed to happen like that."

"Wait, do you mean it?" You sat up this time.

Daniel joined you sitting up and leaning against the headboard. Daniel couldn't help but smile at your incredulity of his words despite everything you'd just done. He pulled you onto his lap.

"Of course I mean it. I love you and I've been trying to find a way to tell you for a while now." He confessed. "And this wasn't the way I planned it, it was definitely more romantic." he laughed.

You were in disbelief, overwhelmed by all the emotions that flooded your mind and body. You couldn't find the words to reply to Daniel, to let him know the way he made you feel so you simply leaned forward and kissed him. It wasn't sloppy, it wasn't deep but it was soft and slow as if you were communicating everything to him through it.

You pulled away needing to breathe. "I love you." you finally whispered back. "I love you so much." You watched the way his lips curled into a smile.

"Thank you for trusting me." He hugged you into his chest.

"Thank you for believing me." You thanked him back finding warmth and safety against his chest.

Yes, despite the fact that you finally felt loved again, you once again felt comfortable within yourself you knew one thing. You wanted no one else in the world to touch you or to look at you this way again except for Daniel.

#Daniel Ricciardo #formula 1 #f1 x reader #f1 smut #daniel ricciardo smut #dr3 #smut #f1fic #f1 one shot #f1 drivers #f1 #f1 fluff #f1 x y/n

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mamabearneeds-her-dietcoke · 9 months

Text

Pictures- Daryl Dixon

summary- Slowing taking down built walls

i didn't proofread this so excuse any spelling mistakes

---------------------------------------------

When Rick's group first arrived at Alexanderia you were delighted. You were do excited to meet new people, and of course keeping your distance but overall being nice and helping out.

After a couple months of them being there they finally started to warm up to everyone. You had made friends with Michonne and Rick, along with Carl. Sometimes You'd have them over for dinner or offer to watch Judith.

You did however, have your eyes on one special person. You worked in the infirmary here and there and when you did see him it was Carol forcing him to have someone treat his infected cuts. He never said anything to you, just glaring at Carol as she shoves him in the door. It startled you the first time, and when you turned around he stoof there looking at you before lifting his shirt and showing the injury.

nothing needed to be said, you just nodded your head and gestured to the bed as you grabbed supplies and cleaned him up. You mumbled a finished as you threw bloodied tissue and such away and he left.

Even though you worked a bit in the infirmary you also went out on runs quite often and had a good say in how things rolled. Whether the runs were longer or shorter, whenever you returned you always saw him near the gates. You wanted to believe he was making sure you were there but you were never sure.

One day, a couple months after Rick's group joined Alexandria, you opened your door to see daryl holding a small box. "Here. Collected these fer ya. ya don' gotta wear em'." He hands you the box and it's filled with jewelrys and small little knickknacks. "Thank you Daryl." You smile and whether or not he'd admit it, there was a small smirk on his face as he walked away.

You took the box to your dining room table and sorted through it. There were all kinds of necklaces and rings. You could tell they've been cleaned and fixed up. You put on some of the bracelets and necklaces, along with a couple of the rings. There's small little animal figurines, and you put those on your window sill above your sink.

Often times you'd find Daryl sitting on your porch, cleaning his crossbow or fiddling with whatever he managed to find on his runs. You'd bring him a glass of water or lemonade, sometimes a plate of whatever you were cooking. Sometimes You'd ask if he'd try a new recipe, other times the two of you would just sit there in comfortable silence.

It's around 6pm, You walk out to give Daryl his glass of lemonade and you start to walk to your chair on the porch when you feel him grab your hand stopping you. "Sit wit' me." Surprised but not upset you turn back and sit next to him. "Why are ya so nice to me?" He asks. "Why not?" You reply. "Others just look at me weird and keep their distance, You smile at me and invite me in. Whatsup with tha'?" He asks. "Because Daryl. People tend to judge all books by their covers. I like to read the book before I say anything. I know you won't hurt me or be a creep. I trust you." You smile softly at him again, and for a brief moment you could see a small part of his eyes soften.

"You trust me?" He asks, his voice a tone softer then usual. "With my life." Your smile stays unbroken and this was the moment you see him smile, fully smile. "Yer stupid." He chuckles softly and shakes his head looking out in front of him.

"Maybe. But it pays off in this case." You laugh and look to him, taking in all his features. "I'll be right back." You smile to yourself and run inside to grab the Instax camera you found on a run.

You rush back out and sit next to him, putting yourself as close as you can be. You wrap your arm aroun him and hd the camera up. "Smile!" You click the button and the flash goes. You move your arm and pull the picture out, waving it hoping it develops quicker.

"Look." You show him the picture, its you smiling at the camera and him smiling at you. "Ma turn." He takes the camera from you, doing the same as you, putting his arm around you and holding the camera up.

When the picture prints he grabs it and waves it. "Look at us." You smile. "Let me get on of you." You take the camera and point it at him. "Smilee." You say. "don' know how ta smile fer pictures." He says. "Imagine Glenn falling down the stairs." You suggest. He smiles, not at what you suggested, but at you trying to make him smile. You take a picture and grab it.

You smile at the picture you took of him, and you look to him still smiling as he calls your name. Theres a flash, followed by "Daryl!"

"What?" He says. "I could've looked bad and im that I wasn't ready!" You say. "Ya never look bad." He waves the picture in his hand. "You think?" You ask. "If anything I'm the one who looks bad." He looks at he picture in his hands. "See?" He hands you the picture. "Ok I guess its not that bad." You give it back. "Here I'll keep the one of you and the one you took, and you keep the one of me and the one i took." You hand him the other picture.

He puts them in a pocket of his vest. You look at him, his eyes eventually meeting yours, and you can't look away, you see him lean in, a look crossing his face asking for permission. You lean in further connecting your lips with his. "Mind if i spend the night?" He asks. "Not at all." You smile as he kisses you again, moving his arms around you, the same arms that'll be holding you as you drift off to sleep.

---------------------------------------------

yo what up guys🗣️🗣️

so I have an idea for an angsty pt2 if yall wanna see that, lmk.

don't be afraid to send in requests‼️‼️

peace out luvas see yall later🙌🙌

#twd #daryl dixon #twd daryl #daryl x reader #daryl dixon x reader #norman reedus

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the-oblivious-writer · 5 months

Text

Meant To Be One

Gf!Sam Carpenter x Fem!Reader

One-Shot

Summary: You couldn't have guessed this is where you would end up after letting Sam Carpenter in your life. Well, now you're in your room, hiding, as Sam tries to break down your door whilst revealing the cruel future she has planned for the students of Woodsboro High

Warning(s): Swearing, dark!sam, manipulating/gaslighting, gun(s), mentions of death & killing

Notes: Based off of the song 'Meant To Be Yours.' Not sure how to feel about this one, lemme know what you think

2/7 for Seven Days Of Christmas

Bang. Bang. Bang—BANG.

That was all you could hear on the other side of the door as Sam Carpenter incessantly pounded on your bedroom door. You tried to be as quiet as possible but deep down you knew no matter how quiet you could be, Sam wouldn't leave until you opened up.

“All is forgiven baby! Come on, get dressed! You’re my date to the pep rally,” she shouted from the other side. You stayed a few feet from the door, not knowing how far Sam would go. You’ve seen how far she could go, and you soon realized she could go much farther.

“Fuck off! You’re a psychotic asshole!” You spat harshly. Sam stared at the door with a grin so sinister you could almost feel it.

“I’m protecting you! If you would just listen instead of chucking me out like trash, you would understand that!”

“Fuck you!”

“Fuck you! You should be dead for the way you’ve treated me!” The grip on Sam’s gun tightened as she spoke, soon loosening once remembering the plan. “But that’s when it hit me like a flash…” Sam took a short pause between, leaving you in a state of suspense. “What if high school went instead? Don’t you see it—those assholes are the key! They’re keeping you away from me!”

“Sam, you’re fucking crazy! So what—what your solution is blowing up our school with everyone in it and we’re just supposed to drive off into the sunset?”

“Do you not want that for us?” You could hear the emotion in her voice, the sorrow in her tone evident. It made you want to give in until you remembered where you were, how you got here, what she had done—no, what you both had done.

“It’s not that simple–”

“Then make it simple!”

“You tricked me into killing my best friend—not to mention the six other people we’ve killed. God. Just saying it out loud… It’s fucked Sam!”

“He was a damn asshole, an asshole that didn’t deserve you. Not like I do.” She spoke with pure venom, just the thought of him and you made her trigger finger itch. “When I found you, it changed my heart… and so I built a bomb. Because that’s how much I fucking love you!” She banged on your door again, causing you to flinch back.

“Love doesn’t equal bombing the whole damn school!” You subtly moved around in your room as you shouted back, looking through your things for something.

“You don't know what you’re saying! They have made you blind, messed up your mind—but I can set you free!” She pounded on the door again. “Just open up, Y/N. Do you really think there’s going back?”

You grabbed the bat from under your bed, getting ready to use it. Your grip squeezed around the handle as you slowly inched towards your door. “Y/N!” Another bang to the door causes you to jolt back. “Open the door, please… Can we not fight anymore?” Sam’s patience was thinning as she was only met with silence. She let out a sharp exhale, her hand subconsciously squeezing around her gun’s handle. “Don’t make me come in there—I’m gonna count to three!”

“One!”

You let out a shaky sigh, but your eyes suddenly catch sight of your closet.

“Two! Thre—fuck it!” Sam shoots the knob before kicking down the door. She was only wearing the cloak of her ghostface costume, opting to save the mask for later. You saw her look around, confused and frustrated. As she was just about to give up, she noticed your closet slightly open. You suck in a breath, trying your absolute hardest not to be caught. You could hear her combat boots as she inched closer to the closet.

This is it. Your only chance.

Suddenly, the doors abruptly open and instead of giving her a chance to make the first move, you swing your bat. She groans in pain after the metal bat makes contact with her back. You run past her, but Sam has a speedy recovery and immediately starts chasing you. One minute you’re running, the next you’re being pinned to one of your shelfs—books and items falling as she harshly pushed you up against the shelf.

“You really thought you could get away from me baby? Tonight our school is Vietnam, and nothing is changing that,” she says in a low voice. “So you might as well bring marshmallows, we’ll make s’mores,” Sam lets out a sinister laugh at her own remark.

You narrow your eyes at her, looking at her with disbelief and pure confusion. How was this the same woman you fell so hard for?

“I don’t even recognize you…”

“Well you better get associated darling, because there’s no backing out. We’re doing this. There’s no point in fighting it.” She ran hand down your face, her knuckles softly brushing against your cheek and you hate how much you love her touch.

“I’m meant to be yours. We’re meant to be one.”

Just a moment ago you were absolutely repulsed by her plans. Disgusted with her. Disgusted with the vile acts you helped her commit, how she so effortlessly manipulated you, and how easy you fell for it. But oh, when you look into her eyes… it’s hard to say no. You can't help but feel yourself being pulled back into her cruel plans. You couldn’t resist Sam Carpenter. Not when she kissed you the way she did, not when she touched you the way she did, not when you loved her the way you did.

Sam Carpenter had you in a chokehold.

“So what do you say baby?” With a tilt of her head, she looked at while flashing those dark eyes of hers—eyes she knew you couldn’t resist.

“You know I can’t say no to you, Sammy…” You softly spoke defeatedly, completely forgetting the mindset you had just ten minutes ago.

She brushed her thumb against your bottom lip, slightly smirking. “That's my girl. Now let's go blow up some assholes.”

At the end of the day, Sam was right. She was meant to be yours, and you were meant to be hers.

You were meant to be one.

-----------

A/N: R did a full 180 but let's be real, who wouldn't for Sam?

#sam carpenter x y/n #sam carpenter x you #sam carpenter x female reader #sam carpenter x reader #sam carpenter #melissa barrera x reader #melissa barrera x you #melissa barrera #scream fanfic

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puddle-nerd · 3 months

Text

His Paysyul, His Skxawng

Summary: Miscommunications when attempting to start courting… well, at least Tonowari is so good natured about it.

Prompt #12 for my submission for #𝐂𝐫𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐞𝐬𝟏𝟒𝐃𝐎𝐋𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

Story Tags: No use of Y/N, Female Reader, Human Reader, Metkayina | Reef People Clan, Na’vi, Na’vi Culture, Na’vi Language, Na’vi & Human Interactions, Miscommunication, Not Actually Unrequited Love

Na’vi Translation: Muntxatu – spouse | gender neutral Oeyä – my (possessive) Paysyul – water lily | inrigo lilliam Skxawng – moron | idiot Tawtute – human | Sky Person

AO3 Link

You hadn’t realized what Tonowari was doing at first since you and all of the other humans in the class you had taken back on Earth weren’t as informed on the details of Metkayinan courting. Or the Omatikayan courting either. But you and your fellow scientists were learning to adapt to the Sea People’s way of life so the Forest People were more of an afterthought most of the time, though they had more coverage on the news feeds back on Earth since they had more invested in that part of the moon.

But that was beside the point…

The point was… that no one had told you about the finer details of the courting rituals of the Metkayina People at the human compound built a thousand meters away from the village of Awa’atlu. You had started to just assume the young Na’vi male liked your company, wanted you to learn the intricacies of his ways to appreciate his way of life better, and he also wanted to introduce you to all the different kinds of foods his People made. You didn’t realize this was actually his way of courting you until he ventured to the human compound and finally saw you out of your Avatar form, in your natural human state – it had taken a minute or two or closer to fifteen to convince him it was really you, but he had come around, and you had introduced him to the wonders of chocolate chip cookies.

From past experience with the Omatikayan, the Na’vi could consume chocolate in small doses before having a negative reaction (upset stomach, nausea, etc.) so you gave him two human sized cookies, hoping it wasn’t too much for him.

His blue eyes had lit up as soon as the sweet confection had touched his tongue and the turquoise skinned male had released a sinful moan. You gulped, eyes riveted to him as he savored the treat before turning his freshly tattooed face your way, saying, “I had hoped you would return my courting gestures eventually. This is a superb gift. May I have more, please, paysyul?”

You blinked.

Your mind whirled, trying to make sense of his words.

Then you blinked again.

“Courting?” You squawked, mouth hanging open as you demanded more information. “Wh – I… I don’t… Wari, I don’t understand.”

Tomowari’s face fell the second your words left your lips. “Do tawtutes do it differently?” He asked softly, tentatively, the hurt at your perceived rejection clear in his tone and the way his broad shoulders slumped away from you like you might see upon a wounded canine puppy or ilu calf. “Do tawtutes not exchange gifts of food and tokens and other things and spend as much time with you can with the one you hope to perhaps one day take as a muntxatu?”

Your eyes widened further.

A spouse?!

Looking up at Tonowari now, leaning your head back as far as it could go and straining your neck to meet his downcast blue gaze, you took in the young Na’vi male with a discerning eye and realized you wanted this. Not just because he was very, very handsome to you and something very delicious to look at with all those hardened muscles and that attractive face of his, but also because he treated you better than any male human ever had. Tonowari treated you with the respect he treated everyone with – well, almost, but that was a different story. He actually listened to you whenever you spoke. He answered questions that might have been considered stupid if you had asked another human as you tried to learn the intricacies of his culture. He comforted you when your emotions took a downward turn. He praised you for your successes without taking the credit. He never made you feel worthless. You felt… really and truly SEEN for the first time in your life. “I… uh… I mean, yeah, of course we do, Wari,” you finally assured him after an awkward pause, reaching out tentatively and touching the back of his nearest wrist to you, your hand appearing so strange and so little upon his beautifully striped fin-like arm, a shiver racing down your spine. “But usually, we try to make sure we're on the same page, too. Like, with verbal communication to confirm we’re… courting.” It was his turn to blink as he tried to make sense of your words. You summed it down for him so he could understand it better. “I didn’t realize, I didn’t understand what these gestures meant… that you were actively courting me. I also didn’t know you were waiting for me to offer you food in return. Or other gifts to reveal my affection because… I assumed you were just being nice as you are to Kora or to Tsya or to Ronal.” Listing off three of the females who you knew had interest in him for one reason or another made you want to wince because they would have reveled in his offerings because they understood their meaning, leaving you feeling slow and stupid. You shook your head, adding, “If I had known… I'm sorry, Wari. I wouldn’t have made you wait. But clearly, we need to talk about things a little more so we can understand each other and each other’s ways a little better. And hey, now Ronal’s not entirely wrong when she calls me a skxawng. But at least I’m your skxawng?” Tonowari snorted, though you could see the relief in his blue eyes that you returned his feels and he reached for your much smaller body, scooping you up into his arms. “Yes, paysyul… You are oeyä skxawng,” he agreed softly and leaned his face down, rubbing his cheek against yours and purring quietly in contentment.

𖥸 · ─────── · 𖥸 · ─────── · 𖥸

Originally Posted: 12 February 2024 Word Count: 963

@crybabies-heart, @cryingwhilereading, @ikeyniofthetayrangi, @erenjaegerwifee, @bambithewriter, @lloreya

AO3 Link

#𝐂𝐫𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐞𝐬𝟏𝟒𝐃𝐎𝐋𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 #avatar #atwow #avatar the way of water #human reader #tonowari #tonowari x reader

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izzuku · 1 year

Note

HII !! may i request a really confident reader with dom thoma ?

reader is bragging to someone (MAYBE THE KAMISATO SIBLINGS ? <3) about how they're a hard dom and how subby thoma is and later on ayato teases thoma over it and thoma is just confused because he knows how reader is in bed. thoma feels embarrassed so later he punishes reader, making sure the kamisato siblings hear who really is the sub in the relationship ♡♡♡

FEEL FREE TO CHANGE THE PLOT IF NEEDED,, and also the character i don't really mind !!

Is that so? ──

characters── thoma x gn! reader

c/w── NSFW, switched dynamics (dom/sub), slight exhibitionism (just from hearing) , Thoma is BUILT, mating press (on reader), wrist restraints, the Kamisato household hears everything, aftercare is not mentioned but it still happened

a/n── godDAMN I live for thoma and punishments. Your request shall be written lovely. I cannot promise something amazing cause I've been really out of Tumblr but at least I can respond to your request

"Oh really? Please do tell me more about it". Ayato chuckled at your eagerness on continuing the story but her sister on the contrary could not be more red than a tomato.

"Please don't! It's a matter of privacy between you and Thoma...I'm sure he'd prefer if you kept all of this to yourself...." Ayaka silently beg for the conversation to end, hiding her growing blush with her famous fan. You on the contrary felt proud of the words coming out of your mouth.

"Don't be shy Lady Ayaka, I'm sure that some people have already heard Thoma's moans. I've been talking to him about this and he doesn't have a complaint since he trusts his lords wholeheartedly! Besides...I'm sure he's fully satisfied with how I treat him if you know what I mean.." You couldn't help but laugh, seeing as Ayaka ran out of the room and Ayato choke a laugh under his tea.

"If that's the case then I'll make sure to congratulate him later". That was Ayato's last words before you went on with your duties.

After his morning duties, Thoma enjoyed the rest of the evening with a chess game with Ayato, as always.

"You're getting better at this Thoma...maybe it's thanks to some foreplay with your...beloved partner?" The young master snickered at the thought of the previous chat with you, something that Thoma didn't quite understand.

"E-excuse me my Lord?" He stuttered out, a chess piece falling of his fingers. The blue haired man took one more look at his servant before laughing out loud. "I'm sorry Thoma, I thought it'd take a laugh out of you as it did with me". Thoma could feel his cheeks getting hot at the insinuation, only managing to let an airy laugh. "Foreplay you say? Why was that your first thought of me...getting better at playing?" He cleared his throat, continuing the game in hopes to make it less awkward.

"Oh...I thought you already knew about the things your dearest told us about you. Honestly I do understand your loyalty as a servant in the Kamiasato Clan, but to put those traits in action really surprised me Thoma" Ayato explained everything you said calmly, as if it wasn't something extremely explicit about your sex life. Thoma on the other hand, was starting put up the pieces. So...you told everyone about him being the submissive one huh? Then he has no other choice but to prove you wrong.

"Oh I see...I uh..understand now..." He took a few seconds in the middle of the silence. "My Lord, may I ask to have tomorrow free? I'd like to rest a little, just for tomorrow and I'll continue the rest of the week" and that's all he needed to say to have some time to talk about this with you.

The only thing illuminating the room was the dim light of the lamp next to your shared bed and some candles spared around the room. You almost didn't hear Thoma coming in if it weren't for the sliding door. "Good to see you coming back early love" you chanted softly while preparing the bed for the both of you. You didn't get a response, just the sound of the door sliding back and some faint footsteps getting near you. "So...I'm the dog you say huh..." his voice came out softly, unlike the theme of the discussion.

"What..? Dog? What do you mean Thoma?" You turned around, only to be met by a big blonde boy standing, almost hovering over you...just centimeters away. "It's funny actually...telling others that I'm the one getting fucked, that you're treating me so well like the dominant person you are honey". Your eyes get caught up in his gaze and you feel like you forgot how to swallow. With his wide figure and the strength in his arms he could easily slam you against the wood floor and fuck you raw right there and then. "Ho-hold on Thoma, my love, haha uhm..we can talk about this, you know I'm always joking about it, it's really not a big deal. I can apologize if you want to-"

"I think I need to clarify somethings between you and I love" His voice became demanding.

...

"F-Fuck! Wait! Thoma oh archons! Too much please..!" Your moans get choked on your throat as Thoma's pace never seems to cease. The rope around your wrists is starting to burn from the continuous pulling and you can't feel your legs anymore. Not that it matters to your boyfriend though, he's quite enjoying himself. He gets to part your legs, each one on either of his shoulders and push his cock deep inside you. He loves seeing the look on your face; saliva dripping down your chin, cheeks burning, skin full of marks and your hole pushing in and out loads of his cum from rounds before.

"Where did that dominance go love?" He pants, thrusting harder until he feels you clenching around. "I thought...I thought I was the one supposed to moan out loud" you can hear him chuckle between pants but your vision is so blurry from the tears than you can only focus on the feeling and the hearing. "Thoma-aa..Ah! M'close! Close close close!" your hands tug harder at the rope before holding your legs around his neck. He thrusts a couple more times before shots of cum paint your insides and outsides...leaving your brain like mush.

The Kamisaton Clan sure knows now who's in charge in bed.

#izzuku #gn reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact x reader #genshin smut #genshin impact x gn reader #thoma genshin #thoma x reader #thoma x gn reader #thoma smut

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harmonysanreads · 1 year

Note

Can we get more yan vamp alhaitham? (⁠✯⁠ᴗ⁠✯⁠)

About how he feeds on reader once he got the go signal, yk like his favorites spot to bite, how long and often does he feed, does he like to take it slow or make it fast and maybe like how he takes care of reader once he's done omg (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠）

I see you've fallen in brainrot hell as well :^ welcome welcome now I'm not alone anymore mwahahahaha

cw(s): yandere, blood, biting

art credit to MiotaWorks on Twitter

「 au masterlist 」

Alhaitham restrained himself for as long as he could, not because your blood was unappealing (good heavens, no, he'd much rather consume a gallon of soup and die than utter such falsehood) but rather that he knew he wouldn't be able to stop should he even get a drop of a taste.

Despite all talk of the Vampire Lords' refined reign, Alhaitham knows that no matter the effort, in the end ; black takes no other hue. His stern countenance masks the greater proportion of his carnal urges but Alhaitham knows there slumbers a shackled avarice deep inside his psyche. He knows there looms an undeniable proprietorial shadow over anything that has the misfortune of attracting his attention. Keeping a human with such enticing blood at arms reach is, a stupid decision when he also doesn't intend to drink from them. Well, not as soon as you'd expect at least. Lest he scares you more and ruins the most vital step of his plan — no, that simply can't be allowed.

Fortunately for you, his hands aren't as calloused as his heart.

Regardless of where he decides to bite, he'll always have one arm around your waist to hold you up and the other on a pulse point (by the side of your neck or wrist), so that, he knows when to stop. Humans are fragile, this he'd cared enough to understand on a factual basis thus far. But, when he has you on his lap, teeth sunken deep into the soft flesh of your neck and the metronomic throb of your pulse against his thumb, slowing the longer he decides to feed — he finally manages to grasp the full extent of it and a part of him is terrified, perhaps for the first time.

Alhaitham treats you in a way his most valued book would be jealous of (if it could), with such delicacy even he was unaccustomed to. There is an unexpected beauty even in shattered glass, but the vampire does not want you broken and putty for him to rearrange as he pleases, that's not the you he's fallen beyond saving for. He wants you in your pristine entirety — complacent to the few of his vital orders but, the you that makes him believe this world isn't so wretched, nonetheless. Alhaitham's innermost desire is an unperturbed life achieved by the grandiose plan he's drafted and he loathes the possibility of it facing such ruination by a wee mishap of his, especially as it's clear to him that you're the final, missing thus far puzzle piece of it.

(More explanation on this in a later post.)

The most difficult part of any endeavor is getting started and for Alhaitham, that might've been his very first taste of your blood. You still think back to that moment and wonder what exactly compelled you to give him permission out of your own volition : was it that this.. creature had ultimately saved your miserable life and brought you in one far more comfortable and secure than you've ever had? Was it his patience and understanding that contradicted every perception you've had for his kind? Or, was it the gratitude built from all of Alhaitham's actions that urged you to bare your skin as he'd crashed onto the sofa beside you after disappearing for a week-worth mission, starved and ready to shrivel up should his much needed meal be delayed further?

Perhaps it's all of them, perhaps it's just your too-good-for-this-world heart that constantly makes you a target of people's greed. Whatever it was, matters no more since you're already too deep in Alhaitham's grasp. See, there's this thing many people delude ; when a vampire feeds, pain is not the only thing felt and when one drowns in those feelings for too long, they become their friend. You've sunken so far that the cause of that decision merely floats through your head ; but never have you wondered why a treasured and crucial vampire such as Alhaitham would ever starve out of nowhere or why his stock of blood at home had miraculously emptied before he left and soon enough, this itsy-bitsy clarity would be sullied, too.

As for the vampire in question, he'd taken much longer time exploring and getting accustomed to your physique. Finding weak points that'd make you whimper, shiver, whine ; elicit any kind of reaction for short and it's an experiment he doesn't mind — scratch that, looks forward to assess forever.

When he deems the timing appropriate, Alhaitham gets bolder ; biting just a little bit harder in harmless teasing or staying in that position without taking blood just to see what you'll do or say. Nothing that'll reduce you to crying or anything. There's an instance where it could happen though ; all it'd take is a mention of the outside world or your previous life — perchance curiosity overtakes you. Worry not, for Alhaitham will always pepper the hurt with kisses at the end.

As much as the vampire would love to sustain himself through your blood solely, he knows your body wouldn't be able to handle that. Your health and safety is his top priority, so he's content with getting a sip once a day (preferably before your bedtime). Once, you actually fell asleep from sheer lethargy on his bed and woke up to see an Alhaitham, still as a statue beneath your form ; he couldn't dare move a muscle because you looked so at peace :( After the blur of your flustered apologies passes, he insists you just sleep on his bed from now, saves you so much energy, no? Yet again, another step crossed from his list.

Alhaitham prefers drinking slow, undoubtedly. He's all the time in the world and with the limited amount he already takes, he wouldn't want even an atom to be wasted. As for his favourite spot to bite, he really doesn't mind as long as it's you. Leaning more towards the neck because then gets to hold you incredibly close and can hear your racing heartbeat. But, if you'd be generous enough to let him kneel down and sink his fangs into the soft flesh of your thigh — he'd be the happiest vampire ever. Hm, time will tell.

In summary, you don't need to fret over anything in Vampire Alhaitham's care ; as long you abandon everything he deems unnecessary and as a hindrance, you'll be the happiest human as well.

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headkiss · 2 years

Text

how you looked at me then

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: based on the song K. by cigarettes after sex. moving to hawkins might not have seemed great, then you met steve and everything changed.

word count: 14k

warnings: smut, slight angst, fluff, all of it!!

a/n: this is my baby.. it took so long and i really hope u guys enjoy it!!!! it’s a long one so buckle up, and please please tell me what you think!

༄

You’ve known Steve for over a year now, and you've been sleeping with him for a couple months. It was a long story, and something completely unexpected.

You never thought moving into a trailer park in Hawkins would lead you to make so many friends, but here you were. Eddie was the one you met first, because you were neighbors. He was misunderstood, an outcast. For you, though, he was just the kind person who welcomed you to the town.

Eddie showed you around, taking you to his favorite spots like the arcade, his band practices, a strange spot in the forest that should’ve scared you but didn’t, the works. You would occasionally smoke together, winding down after long days with a joint. He was a good friend to you, a platonic partner in crime.

He even introduced you to his group of friends. Dustin, the other kids, Nancy, Jonathan, Robin, and Steve. Especially Steve.

You don’t know if Eddie had some kind of motive with his talking up of the Harrington boy, but he seemed to want to sell you on him. To make sure you would give him the time of day, as if you weren’t already planning on it.

The group took you in, reluctantly on some ends at first, but they became your people. A support system and a family. Even if they seemed to have a bond that didn’t include you, something that ran deep, you were still treated with warmth and kindness.

Robin was quick to befriend you, claiming that she was tired of her and Nancy being outnumbered by all the boys, and she was ecstatic to have someone else to turn to that wasn’t Steve, as much as she loved him. Some things were better spoken between women.

As your time in Hawkins passed, your friendship with everyone grew stronger, and it was like you’d been part of the clan all along.

The kids had someone else to look up to, to put their trust in, and it felt good to be needed that way. To be loved like that.

The flirty dynamic between you and Steve was something that came easily, thoughtlessly. It just worked. Your energy matched, the tension built. You both ignored that tension, until you couldn’t anymore.

You sat in your trailer with Eddie, Steve, and Robin. Each of you sprawled somewhere in the main area, bored and in need of entertainment for the night. Most of the time just being in each other’s company would be plenty of entertainment, but there was something missing this time. It was like everyone just needed something to do.

Eddie was the one who spoke up, “isn’t there a party somewhere tonight? We should go.”

“Hell no,” you were quick to shut it down. You weren’t one for parties because of the people. You didn’t know them and you didn’t necessarily want to.

“Why so quick to say no, babe?”

Of course Steve was smirking as he said it, it seemed like it was almost always on his face when he spoke to you. He loved to tease when it came to you. You always reacted or gave it back in some kind of way and he couldn’t get enough of it. Couldn't get enough of you.

“Because! I don’t know anyone here besides you guys and I don’t really need to. Why can't we just stay here?”

Robin decided to join in next, also trying to persuade you to go out even though it wasn’t really her scene either. “All the more reason! Meet new people and stuff, it could be fun.”

“Not you too, Robs. Really?”

She just shrugged, a small smile on her face because she knew you’d cave if everyone agreed. You were the type of person to do anything for those you cared about, even something small like attending a stupid party.

At everyone’s expectant looks towards you, you sighed. Standing up from your spot on your couch, you just placed your hands on your hips—a move you might’ve picked up from Steve—and nodded your head towards the door.

“Let’s go then.”

Your friends were right, it wasn’t horrible and you did get to meet a lot of new people, which was nice. Eventually, though, the small talk got old and the drinks got gross. You grew bored despite the music and party games.

Steve noticed it when you disappeared from the crowd, of course he did. Lately it seemed like he noticed everything you did. He wished he could say he didn’t know why, but that would be a lie. He liked you, and that was that.

He made it his mission to find you, and he did. You were leaning against the counter in the kitchen, just observing the party by yourself. Steve smiled when he saw you, your hair a little messy from the heated air, your eye makeup smudged the tiniest bit. And yet, you still looked perfect to him. Effortlessly.

“What are you doing hiding here, babe?”

You looked over at the sound of his voice, Steve’s eyes already on you. He came over to stand next to you, eyeing the crowd just as you were seconds before.

“Not hiding. ‘S just getting old. The party, I mean.”

“We can go back to mine. Drop Robin off on the way, I’m pretty sure she’s only here for you anyways.”

“She’s great. What about Eddie?”

“He’s making business, we can just let him know we’re leaving. He’ll be fine.”

“So you wanna go back to your house… just you and me?”

Shit. Did he spook you? Did he ask too much? He knew you’d been friends for a few months, but he didn’t know how to read this situation. Obviously he wanted to spend time with you, and only you. But he had no idea if you felt the same. Or if you even thought about it.

“Um. Yeah, is that okay?”

“‘Course it is, Steve. I’ll go tell Eddie. You get Robs?”

“Okay. Meet me at my car?”

“Sure thing.”

You walked off after that, assuming Steve would do the same. He waited a few moments first, though, just watching the way you moved through the room. The way his eyes seemed to stay stuck on you like that. He shook it off eventually and went to go find Robin.

She was sitting on a chair in the living room, somehow almost asleep even in this noisy house. Steve shook her awake and started talking. He needed her advice.

“Robin, wake up.”

“What?”

“Wake up! I need your help.”

“Jesus, I’m awake. What?”

“So y/n wants to leave and she’s coming to hangout at mine. I said we’d drop you off on the way so it’ll just be us. What do I do? I’m gonna embarrass myself. Oh my god.”

“First of all, rude of you to exclude me. Second, just be honest, like really honest. Tell her how you feel.”

“No, I’m not doing that.”

“You ask what to do and you never listen! You’re hopeless.”

Steve simply rolled his eyes and turned to exit the house, Robin following. He couldn’t tell you how he felt, you’d be so freaked out. It was so early in your friendship, in your time of knowing each other in general. It was just a crush. It had to stay that way.

Meanwhile, you found Eddie and told him that you were leaving with Steve and Robin.

“You’re going back to Harrington’s place? Priceless.”

“What are you saying Eddie?”

“I’m saying you like the boy. It’s about time you do something about it.”

“He’s my friend, Eddie, that’s it. Seriously.”

“Sure.”

You left after that, going to Steve’s car where he and Robin were waiting as promised. Eddie just shook his head at it all. He knew Steve liked you, it was pretty clear in his flirting manner and the look on his face whenever he saw you. He also knew that you liked Steve, even if you didn’t feel it yet. Eddie just knew you two were perfect for each other.

After dropping off a very stumbly Robin and getting back to the Harrington household, you and Steve were sitting on his couch with a random movie playing. At this point, it was background noise, something neither of you were paying attention to.

You and Steve have hung out just the two of you before, but never like this. Never in the quiet and privacy of an empty house, never this late in the night when things seemed to be deserted.

It went unnoticed when you both seemed to shift closer to the other, as if it was just a reflex that didn’t need any thought at all. It was natural, easy.

You can't pinpoint exactly when the mood shifted, when it went from lighthearted flirting like usual to something more, something deeper that was full of want.

Maybe it was when his arm ended up around your shoulders, a heavy weight that led your mind to all things Steve. Maybe it was when you turned on the couch to face each other, eyes roaming and curious. Maybe that want had been there all along, dormant and waiting to escape.

You felt it when Steve’s hand was placing itself on the side of your neck as you spoke, causing a slight hitch in your words. Just the reaction he was looking for.

Steve knew he wanted you, he was never sure if you felt the same until now. He was so intrigued by you, pulled in by all that you were. While he knew he felt something deeper for you than just want, he would take anything you offered. Anything at all.

With his hand on your neck, your pulse picking up under his palm, he felt something. Something mutual.

“How mad would you be if I kissed you, babe?”

Even with the thickness in the air between you, you weren’t expecting that to come out of his mouth. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to be mad at all. You wanted him to kiss you, to feel his mouth on yours. What the hell was up with that?

“Why don’t you find out?”

A whispered “holy shit,” and then he was leaning in, looking in your eyes one last time to search for any hesitation. He found none.

So, he kissed you.

It seemed like the world went still when you kissed, nothing else mattered then. His lips were as soft as they looked, pressing to yours softly at first, then, quicker, hungrier.

If Steve wasn’t kissing you dumb, you’d be freaking out over the fact that Steve was kissing you. When you gasped and he slipped his tongue into your mouth, any trace of thought you had slipped away.

He paid attention to everything that made you react. Breathe harder, push yourself closer.

His senses were going wild and it had everything to do with you and your mouth. You were enchanting and soft and so pretty, and you were here, kissing him. He couldn’t help but groan when you shifted to straddle his lap, a hand braced on his chest and the other tangling itself in his hair.

“How mad would you be if I told you I wanted to make you feel good?”

He was breathless, his pupils wide with desire and his hands now on your hips, guiding you. You could feel him hard underneath you, and it was driving you crazy.

“Not mad at all.”

It was a rush from there. Shirts coming off, kisses stolen between every item of clothing removed. You ended up on your back with Steve hovering over you, both of you in nothing but your underwear.

It was heated touches and his hand slipping beneath the hem of your panties. An orgasm coaxed out of you with skill and praise and all the right words. Another kiss and a question of “Can I fuck you?” and your answer of “yes, please.”

It was the beginning of something.

Since that night, an arrangement of sorts was made between you and Steve. A friends with benefits thing that just worked.

You understood each other and what was wanted at what time. How to read what your bodies were saying, what certain looks meant when you were with the rest of your friends. One for ‘my house, later,’ another for ‘I need you. Now,’ that would usually lead to half-assed excuses and two friends leaving early. Very sneaky.

Through the months of your situation, Steve’s feelings for you only grew, though they remained a secret to you. Meanwhile yours stayed buried, in a space of your mind and soul that lived in ignorance.

Despite you and Steve believing you were secretive enough, everybody knew something was going on, and they all knew it would end in one of two ways: with the two of you happy and in love, or a horrible disaster.

Steve’s emotions towards you were clear for anyone to see. Anyone except you, it seemed. His hand would find a place on your lower back when weaving through crowded rooms, his eyes often softening as they fell on your figure, the flirting you had leaving him more flustered than ever before.

He had it bad.

Last night, Steve had the whole clan over. The kids and the other’s all together with pizza and games. It was fun and lively. Exactly what you all needed every once in a while to remind you of the brilliant support system you had.

It involved Eddie’s classing routine of trying to get everyone to give his music taste a chance, Dustin’s huge ego invading every single game, the couples trying to play on teams—except Max, who loved to beat Lucas in anything.

To put it simply, it was a long night. No matter how fun, you didn’t feel like driving home after the chaos that was that group of people, so, naturally, Steve let you stay the night.

When everyone got ready to go, and you didn’t, it gave them even more proof that the two of you were trying to hide something. It gave Eddie more proof to use to get you together, winking at you as he left.

You and Steve had sleepovers before, but always with the expectation of something more. This time, it was just a friend offering a place to sleep for another friend. No sex tonight.

It felt like muscle memory as you walked up to his room with him, changing into pajamas of yours he’s made room for in the top drawer of his dresser. Moving on to the bathroom where Steve kept spare bottles of your skincare products, ready for you anytime. Where there was a second toothbrush in his holder just for you.

You never over thought any of it, though. It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for you, but friends could be sweet, too. It didn’t have to be romantic… right?

You and Steve moved around each other with ease throughout your night routines, never in the way. It was something you had lots of practice with considering the amount of late night phone calls that turned into late night visits.

Once you were both in his bed, that’s when there was a small hesitation. Do you still cuddle even if nothing happened beforehand? Was it acceptable for Steve to give you a forehead kiss goodnight in this case? Were you allowed to wrap his arm around your waist, deeming yourself the little spoon?

After that moment of wondering who will make the first move, though, you both seemed to just think, fuck it. You both turned to lay on your sides, Steve wrapping his arm around you, you scooching back so his chest was pressed right against your back, radiating warmth and comfort.

Then, a forehead kiss from Steve, whispered goodnights, and you were both asleep.

You woke up to sunlight slipping through the gap in the curtains, an arm still holding you close, legs tangled with yours. A warm chest against you and soft breaths hitting the back of your neck.

When you felt Steve shift around, consciousness coming back to him, you turned around in his hold to face him. You loved the way he looked in the morning, his usually perfect hair messy from sleep, his eyes still hazy and blinking open slowly. He looked cute.

One of his favorite things was waking up with you, because it was domestic and soft in a way that was rare for him to come by. You were extra pliant, welcoming his morning cuddles no matter the context. He gave you a lazy smile, “hi.”

“Hi.”

You reached up to push his hair away from his forehead, tender and delicate. Something a lover would do, but your morning brain wasn’t one to think too hard about your actions. The earlier hours of the day were spent together, it was like they didn’t really count, as if acting like a couple in the privacy of his room now wouldn’t matter.

He sighed happily, rolling over to lay himself on top of you, face squished against your chest and his arms hugging you close.

“Steven!”

He just giggled, knowing you were smiling too. You only called him that teasingly, trying to be serious with him when you couldn’t.

“Mmm, you’re so comfy.”

“And you’re squishing me.”

He gasped, mocking offense and pushing himself up to hover over you and let you look at his dramatically pinched face, “I am not!”

“Don’t pout at me, you’ll get wrinkles.”

“Heyyy. Don’t be mean, I'm fragile in the morning.”

“Sorry, c’mere.”

To both of your surprise, you placed both of your hands on his cheeks, pulling him down for a soft kiss to make him feel better, even though he wasn’t actually upset. You two never kissed, or did anything in the mornings. Usually, you’d just get up and get dressed. Something about today felt different.

It was a short kiss, but when Steve pulled away and looked over your pretty face, your eyes fuzzy and glancing at his lips, he dove back in. He was propped up using one arm, bent just above your head so he could stay close, the other running over your side.

Your hands shifted so one was buried in the hair at the nape of his neck, keeping him close to you, while the other was hugged around his shoulders, feeling the muscles there ripple and shift with his movements. It became heated, the kind of kiss that was bound to lead to something else, and it felt exciting, new.

Steve’s hips began to shift against yours, the morning stiffy he sported no longer ignored. You pushed your pelvis up to meet in the middle, a delicious friction that felt even better with your newly awoken senses, minds still a little bit tired, but completely focused on each other.

When you let out a whimper, Steve slipped his tongue into your mouth, the kiss going languid. Slowed down and relaxed, but just as arousing as before. Somehow, with the pace going down, it made everything better, stronger.

“Steve, please,” you whined between kisses, feeling needier with every push of his hips and stroke of his tongue. It seemed like this pocket of time belonged to only you and him, the rest of the world falling away in the midst of the risen sun and morning dew.

“What is it, honey?”

“Need you.”

“Know you do. I’ve got you.”

His hand that was steady on your waist moved down, pushing your pj shorts and underwear aside to slip his fingers down to where you were wet, a sigh escaping you when he moved up to your clit. He knew exactly how to wound you up, how to make you feel good. He had plenty of time to learn you and your body and it was easy now. Easy to get you there.

“Steve. Stop teasing.”

“Sorry. Can't get enough of you.”

He kissed you again when he slipped a finger into you, swallowing the moans you gave him. You were squirming under him, needy for anything he’d give and he fucking loved it. The way you gave yourself to him, trusted him.

Your first orgasm was coaxed out of you with the expertise of his fingers, and the encouragement of “that’s it. Atta girl.”

Your back arched enough to press your chest to his, your head digging into the pillow beneath it. He kept going until you couldn’t take it anymore, knowing the kind of whimper that was a signal of you needing a minute to come back.

Steve stood up as you caught your breath, sucking his coated fingers into his mouth before helping you strip and pulling his boxers down, both of you left bare. You’d seen each other naked many times, but in the golden glow of sunlight it was special. He grabbed a condom from his nightstand and put it on before crawling back over you, giving you another dizzying kiss before lining himself up.

“You want this?”

You nodded, arms slipping around his neck, “I want you, Steve.”

“Fuck.”

He kissed you again as he pushed himself in, distracting you partially so you’d relax for him. Once he was all the way there, he pulled back just enough to lean his forehead against yours, your noses brushing against each other at each push and pull of his hips.

“You’re beautiful. So good for me.”

“More, please.”

He could never deny you when you asked so prettily. A whininess to your voice that made him feel special because he brought it out of you. He’s the one who made you feel this way.

Steve moved slow and deep, brushing against all the right spots that had you moaning and wrapping your legs around his waist to let him in even more. He kissed you all over, a peck to your forehead, your nose, then spongy lips trailing down your neck to kiss at your throat.

Sounds escaping both of you without control, senses full of each other and nothing else. You and Steve had sex often, but never like this. Never in this intimate way that seemed much more like making love than simply fucking.

“Can feel you squeezing me, sweet girl. You wanna come for me?”

“Steve.”

“I know, I’ll get you there.”

And he did, the hand that wasn’t needed to hold himself up sliding over the hill of your breasts and down to rub circles against your clit, pushing you over the edge yet again.

“There you go. So pretty.”

Your second orgasm washed over you, and before he could even react, you flipped Steve over so you were on top, straddling his thighs and riding him slow and steady. Your hands were braced on his chest at first, but at that look of pleasure and bliss on his face you leaned down to kiss him.

With each grind of your hips, your chest would slide against his, as close as you could get. He held your hips, helping you along and making sure you were feeling the best you could.

After letting you lead for a bit, he planted his feet on the bed, giving him the steadiness to meet your hips and thrust into you. Your face was buried in his neck after that, moans falling into his ear and a hand cradling his head, the other squeezing the pillow in your fist.

“Steve. Want you to come.”

“I will, babe. Can you give me another first?”

All you could do was nod against his skin, and he felt it, giving him encouragement to speed up just enough to have you pulse around him one more time. He came with you then, a hand coming to the back of your neck to guide you to look at him. Your eyes locking in a way that was so intimate, so full of devotion it felt like the fabric of your relationship shifted right then.

“God. You feel so good. So, so perfect for me.”

The only things leaving your mouth were curses and whimpers of his name. Both of you coming and then relaxing together. You all but collapsed on top of him when you both finished, spent and completely fucked out.

“You okay, sweet girl?”

“Think you turned my brain to mush,” you mumbled against his sticky skin. He chuckled, running his hands up and down your back to soothe you, to bring you back to him.

“How ‘bout a shower?”

Together? That wasn’t something you’d done before, surprisingly. You would always take turns, avoiding the intimacy a shared shower would provide. The feelings that might escape.

This morning, everything shifted though, and it was like nothing else even existed. So, naturally, you said yes.

Neither of you were in a rush to get up, though, taking the time to come down from the events of the morning before moving over to the bathroom. You’re almost positive you would have fallen asleep laying on top of Steve if he didn’t roll you over so he was able to pull out of you and get rid of the condom. After that, he disappeared from the room for a minute to turn on the shower.

When he came back in, smiling at the sight of you so sleepy on his bed, he almost felt bad for disturbing that. He knew you wanted to wash off though, and he couldn’t deny that he was giddy at the idea of showering together. It was something couples did, not something that was mixed in with a supposed feeling free arrangement.

He walked over and scooped you up bridal style, not wanting to let the water run for too long.

“Steven! I can walk.”

“Yeah, well, I wanted to carry you.”

“You’re sweet.”

“I try my best.”

He set you down once you were in the bathroom, and you got in the shower right away. You didn’t want to give yourself time to overthink this new part of your relationship with Steve, and everything this morning might mean. The warm water relaxed your muscles, eased your mind ever so slightly.

Steve joined you quickly, stepping in behind you so his chest was almost pushed against your back. When you tilted your head to let your hair get wet, he snuck a quick kiss to your forehead that left you flustered. He was a soft person, and he cared so deeply for the people around him and you knew that. That’s why this was scary to you, because the last thing you wanted to do was hurt him or your friendship.

He reached for a bottle of shampoo, one that happened to be yours because he even kept your favorite brands of soap in his shower, and squeezed some onto his hand, “can I?”

“Mhm. You have good hands.”

“Dirty.”

“Your mind is dirty, that’s all.”

He massaged the suds into your scalp, probably longer than needed because he enjoyed the way you sighed at the feeling, the way your body seemed to calm even more under his touch.

He rinsed your hair and did conditioner too, knowing to only put it in the ends of your hair because he was an expert on the subject.

“Why’re you so good at this?”

“They don’t call me The Hair for nothing.”

You laughed, you had heard the story of The Hair and it never failed to be funny to you, “I can't believe people actually called you that.”

“What? You don’t think my hair is my best feature?”

You were facing him now, watching him wash his own hair while you stayed close to him. You thought about it. You knew he was teasing but it made you wonder. You couldn’t help but think of his eyes and how expressive they were, the sweetness of honey that was so easy to get lost in.

“Your hair is nice, but I like your eyes. Your eyes are really, really pretty.”

His hands paused in his hair, his head moving to look down at you, at the sincerity of your words. He decided then that you didn’t have a best feature, because there wasn’t a single bad one about you. You were perfect, and sometimes he’s convinced that you’re an angel that was sent to him as a protector. Someone meant to keep him grounded without any effort at all.

He was in love with you.

The thought had been floating in his mind for months, but here and now, he knew it for sure. He loved you and he thinks he has for almost as long as he’s known you. This moment of intimacy, of trust and peace, it confirmed it for him.

He was scared that if he opened his mouth to speak, he’d let those words slip out, so instead he just gave you a quick kiss. Chaste but still tender as ever. Then, he just went back to washing his hair with his mind full and his heart even fuller.

After finishing up in the shower and getting dressed in fresh clothes—yours from the drawer he left empty just for you—Steve made you breakfast, the saccharine haze of the morning still present. It stretched across the day.

The hours slipped away when you were with Steve, time didn’t really exist. You watched TV cuddled up on the couch, comfortable enough to have a nap together there. He challenged you in board games, but was ready to let you win if you showed any bit of disappointment in how it was going. You spent a bit of time reading, Steve asking if you would do it out loud so he could listen along.

It felt natural to spend so long with him, like this wasn’t only his home, but yours too. Maybe that was an odd thing to feel, but it was true. Being with Steve in his expansive house, just the two of you, felt right. Like you belonged there with him. That was another point to add to your list of things to overthink.

You had a lot to figure out because all of this had to mean something.

Steve never wanted the day to end. He loved having you with him in the house that was so often empty of company. He loved being able to spend so much uninterrupted time with you in a way that really made him wish for things he shouldn’t be wishing for. A relationship with you, for example. A real one where you would call him your boyfriend and he could call you his girlfriend. Where one day you’d become his wife and you could live together, just like this, every day.

In an attempt to stretch the best day of his life even further, Steve had the idea to ask you out. He’d do it in a way that was casual enough to pass as a friend's thing, when really he wanted it to be more.

“You hungry, babe?” He asked you from his spot on the couch, the two of you having gone back to watching pointless television.

“I could eat. Why?”

“Was wondering if you wanted to go to that diner that’s just out of town. You know, with the staff on roller skates and milkshakes and stuff.”

“Sometimes, Steven, you have really great ideas.”

“What do you mean sometimes! I have great ideas, like, hourly. At least.”

He enjoyed the way you laughed at that, replying to him with, “gosh, you’re a dork. You’re lucky I like you so much. Let’s go.”

You’re lucky I like you so much.

He knew you probably meant it jokingly, but he was stuck on it. How much was it? Enough for it to be romantic? Was there something there after all? He was convinced he’d been imagining the shift that was felt since you both woke up this morning, but maybe it was real. Maybe it was something clicking into place.

“The luckiest. C’mon, I’ll drive.”

The diner was tucked away, standing by itself on its lot outside of Hawkins. Outside, it was just a regular building with a bright, lit up sign attached to it. Inside, however, it was perfect.

The checkered floors, the jukebox sat in the corner, the pink countertops and booth seats. Everything about the space was bright and fun and you wished you knew about it earlier. At the same time, you’re glad Steve’s the one who’s showing it to you.

He watched your face as you looked around, the smile on your face and the glint in your eyes. He knew it wasn’t something huge, but he loved this diner and he’s only ever been here alone. Until now.

“This is so cute, Steve!”

“I knew you’d like it.”

His hand on your lower back guided you over to a booth tucked by the front window of the diner. When you sat down, he opted to sit next to you instead of across, and you couldn’t deny the way it made your face heat and your stomach flutter.

The menus were already on the table, allowing you to pick it up and take a look. The other menu was on the other side, where Steve chose not to sit, so, he just leaned in with his head next to yours to read it with you. His chin was perched on your shoulder, his arm slung around you and resting lazily on your hip.

“What do you think, babe?”

“Everything looks really good. Can you just choose for me?”

“You trust me with your meal? I’m so honoured.”

“Yeah. You should be.”

You both turned to look at each other, smiling at the ease you felt when chatting. Your smiles faded when the proximity of your faces was realized, your noses nearly touching. It was confusing, a question of who will move first, and will they pull away or get closer.

The small moment was broken when a waitress in roller skates approached the table, her light pink uniform and big welcoming smile coming into view.

“Hi, Steve! Good to see you again. You’ve brought someone, this time!”

“Hi, Brenda. I did. This is the girl I told you about.”

Brenda seemed sweet, and genuinely happy to meet you. It wasn’t her fault you felt a little jealous at the idea of Steve coming here alone, being taken care of by someone so pretty and kind like her. What the hell was wrong with you?

“Oh! Yes, I’ve heard so much. I’m Brenda, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Um, yeah. Hi. You too.”

If she noticed your apprehensiveness, she didn’t let it show, while Steve just squeezed your hip a little to remind you he was there. With you, not her.

“What can I get you guys?”

“Okay, I’ll have the usual. Burger and fries. She’ll have the same, and a vanilla milkshake, please. Two straws.”

“I’ll be right back with that.”

She skated away, somehow elegantly and it was impressive. You think you could like her, if you just sorted out whatever that pinch in your gut was at the wink she gave Steve before pushing off.

You looked at him, now leaning against the seat with his head tilted towards you. He was really pretty, you’d always known that. It was present here in the lighting of the diner, the fluorescent lights beaming and yet, he was beautiful.

“Two straws?”

He gave you a little tap on your nose, grinning at the cute way you scrunched it up, “duh. One for you, one for me. C’mon, pretty, keep up.”

“My bad, Steven.”

“Mhm. Said you trusted me. Did I choose well?”

“So far so good. Gotta taste it to know for sure though.”

“Dirty.”

“That’s your mind!”

“It’s your fault. You bring it out of me, I guess.”

Bring what out of him? Being dirty? You already knew that, the sex you were having spoke for itself. But he sounded like he was talking about something else, like maybe he just meant his laid back, teasing behaviour was something saved for you. Or, maybe you were just thinking too hard.

Steve loved the way he felt with you, how he could be himself without any second thoughts. He liked that you never knew him in his high school days, that you never knew him as ‘King Steve,’ only as Steve, or Steven—which was reserved for you. It was a relief to meet someone and not have their judgement of his past weighing down on him.

While you had been told about the person he used to be, you only knew who he was now. That was really special to him. Because he was proud of the person he became, and that’s who you met, who you chose to spend time with.

“I’m really happy you moved here.”

You looked at him, noting the sincerity in his words and the hand that wasn’t on your hip moving to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. You really looked at him, at the situation. You couldn’t help but notice how much this felt like a date, and how you really wanted it to be one.

It was like a pocket of your mind had been emptied, revealing your feelings for him right there, all at once. He was the sweetest boy you ever met, with the kindest eyes and the softest heart. He was someone you wanted to spend every minute with, and you don’t think you could ever get sick of him.

He was someone you loved. Someone you might even be in love with.

Something changed there in that booth for you. How you looked at him then. It turned into something more, or maybe it was always there and the only difference was now you knew it. Either way, things weren’t the same.

“Yeah, I’m really happy I moved here, too.”

He gave you a quick kiss, without a thought. He liked kissing you, he wanted to do it and he figured that in this almost empty diner, he was allowed. He wished he was allowed all of the time; in front of your friends or anytime at all that wasn’t the two of you sleeping together.

He just wanted you to be his, and he to be yours. Completely.

A peck on your cheek followed, then your nose and forehead. When you giggled at his actions, he pulled away, looking at your smiling face and feeling special that he’s the one who made you react like that.

“You’re a great person, Steve. I mean that.”

“Stop.”

“It’s true! I’m glad you’re in my life.”

“Sometimes I think you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

It sort of slipped out, his thoughts travelling into words quicker than he could process. It was true, though. You were a vibrant light in the town of Hawkins. Exactly what he needed.

Then, your food was brought out, your vulnerable conversation cut off by hungry stomachs and a yummy meal. Steve stole fries from your plate, he teased you with fake gags when you dipped yours in the milkshake. You forced him to try it and his mind was changed, of course.

From the counter, Brenda observed the two of you with a smile. Steve told her about his feelings for you, because she wasn’t on the inside. She didn’t know any of his and your friends, and she was able to give him advice without any bias.

Seeing you in the flesh next to him was even more proof of how he felt. He was practically glowing because of you, his eyes on you with so much emotion she couldn’t believe you weren’t already together. She just shook her head and brought over the bill, giving Steve another wink because she knew.

On the ride home, he rested a hand on your thigh, keeping contact with you like he absolutely had to. You knew he was a physical touch kind of person, and today really brought it out of him.

He wanted to take you back to his, to spend another day like this one all over again tomorrow and the next day, and the next. He wanted to hold you in his sleep and wake you up with kisses and love and all of that couple shit.

“Can you come to mine again?”

“I want to, but my mom will lose her mind if I’m not home tonight. You know how she is.”

“She’s nice.”

“Because she likes you!”

“How could she not? I’m a charmer.”

“Just take me home, Steven. You dork.”

“Alright, alright.”

Even on the short drive, you managed to doze off. Steve’s hand on your leg a calming weight that kept you grounded, the lull of the music playing making your eyes heavy. Your head lying awkwardly against the seat in a way that was sure to hurt your neck if you stayed there for too long.

Steve didn’t even notice you’d fallen asleep until he pulled into your driveway, glancing over at you to say bye and finding your eyes shut and your breathing steady. Yet again you showed that you trusted him, to get you home, to take care of you. He fucking loved you.

He really didn’t want to disturb you, you looked so peaceful and he just wanted to let you stay that way. But, he knew that you had to get home, he didn’t want to upset your mom or you in any way.

Steve decided to wake you slowly, first cupping your face in one of his hands and letting his thumb brush back and forth against your skin, then using his other hand to grab the hand laying in your lap, squeezing.

“Hey, we’re here, babe.”

You shifted slightly, your head nuzzling into his palm in your drowsy state—something Steve found adorable—and breathing in deep. The boy squeezed your hand again, leaning in closer to kiss your eyelids, your cheek, then backed away again.

You blinked your eyes open then, lazy and so, so soft. “Hey.”

“Hi, sweet girl. You have a nice nap?”

“Mhm. Smells like you in here, ‘s cozy.”

“You’re cute. And we’re in your driveway.”

You hadn’t even noticed you were home, glancing out the window towards your front porch, the lights left on to welcome you home. As much as you loved your room, the bookshelf that sat in there, the stuffed animal you still kept on your bed, you wanted to stay with Steve.

He was a welcomed presence at any time, and now more than ever you knew that. He took care of you, he knew you. What you needed or wanted without a word, Steve could tell. You never had a connection like that with anyone else.

You could say with certainty now, you were in love with him. It wasn’t just your sleepy mind or a random thought, it was true.

“Thank you for today. For dinner and driving me home. You’re the best, Steve.”

“You know you can call me anytime, for anything. I love y- um, spending time with you. You’re my best friend, pretty.”

Did you catch his slip up? He certainly did and his heart was beating wildly in his chest. If you heard what he almost said, you didn’t mention it, only looking at him in that way you always did that made him weak.

Best friend. Right. You knew that, but you were also pretty sure he almost just said something that might have meant you were more. Having just woken up, though, you weren’t sure if you were just making things up.

“I love spending time with you too. I’ll see you later?”

“Of course you will.”

“Okay.”

Before you let yourself overthink it, you leaned over the centre console to plant a sweet kiss on Steve’s lips. He welcomed it, welcomed you and your taste. You didn’t let it go for too long, scared your mom might walk out and see or that you’d get carried away. So, you pulled away, pressed two more pecks to his mouth before opening the passenger door.

“Goodnight, Steve.”

“Goodnight, babe.”

He watched you walk up to your front door, waiting for your bedroom light to turn on before backing out of your driveway and taking himself back to his empty house that somehow felt even emptier without you in it.

It’s been a couple of days since the diner, since the time spent with Steve that taught you so much. That day made you realize you loved him, made you aware of how you felt and what you really wanted. You wanted him as your boyfriend, as your future and hopefully forever.

You had seen him since, but not separately from the group. It was full of glances and smiles and teasing. Your dynamic hadn’t really changed, at least not when you were around others, you weren’t sure you could say the same for your alone time.

Tonight, you had plans with Steve and the older crew. There was a bar type thing outside of town that seemed exciting enough, more so than the Hideaway, and with the fake IDs Eddie got you all, you’d be in no problem.

You were finishing getting ready in your bathroom, grateful you were the last person on the way to the bar because you needed the extra time. You were carefully applying your mascara when you heard the honk outside, letting you know your ride was here.

You hurried down the stairs, trying to put your shoes on as quickly as possible on the way, then, you were out the door. You spotted Eddie’s van right away, quickly walking to the back door.

The van was spacious, but always seemed to look full with your friends in it. Eddie in the driver's seat, Robin in the passenger seat with her feet up on the dashboard, Jonathan and Nancy sitting next to each other in the back, and Steve, wearing the sweetest smile at the sight of you.

Your dress was beautiful, but maybe he only thought so because you were the one wearing it. Your hair styled in a way he wanted to ruin, to mess up with his hands. He had it so bad for you and he knew it. Everyone did, really.

“Hey, babe! You look amazing.”

“Thanks. You too, Steve.”

Eddie groaned dramatically, but he was still smiling, “okay enough flirting and get in! Let’s go!”

This time, you listened to Eddie, climbing into the van and shutting the door behind you. Steve didn’t know what came over him when he tugged you down by your waist to sit on his lap, but he was glad he did when you let out the cutest surprised gasp.

He was more comfortable being touchy with you without the kids around, without their incessant questions and lack of filter. Here, he felt like it was more okay, like nobody would really say anything even if they wanted to.

They all knew about Steve’s feelings for you, even if he’d never told them. He became a very transparent person and that vulnerability was more amplified when you were involved. They were also fairly sure there was something going on, and that you felt the same way he did. The two of you weren’t really that great at hiding it.

You were shocked at his actions, considering his usual restraint around your friends, but you can’t say you weren’t buzzing because of it. You settled in his lap, his arms around your waist to keep you steady. It was nice, to feel like you were really his.

If the others felt a type of way about the couple-ish behaviour, they didn’t show it. They just kept the conversation going as normal as it would. Poking fun at Eddie’s driving, asking Robin if she was ready to dance without falling over, checking Jonathan’s temperature because he must’ve been sick if he agreed to going out like this.

It was all in good spirits, spilling laughter and a happy atmosphere.

The closer you got to the bar, the bumpier the roads were, and Steve noticed. He could feel you shift and bounce in his lap every time the car would hit a pothole, could feel you trying to squirm back into a comfortable position after getting jostled a little.

He was about to lose his mind.

When you shifted around again, he gripped your waist harder, stilling your movements.

“You gotta stop moving so much, pretty.” He was whispering, so quiet that you were the only one who could’ve heard him. His mouth by your ear and his hands holding you still.

“What?” You turned your face towards him so your lowered volume could be heard by him. You saw the look on his face, the deep breathing in his chest. Then you felt him. He was hard. “Oh. I’m so sorry.”

“‘S okay. Just try to be still for me.”

“I will. We’re almost there. Sorry again.”

“Not your fault you turn me on.”

“Shh! Steven!”

“Oh stop, they're too loud to hear us.”

You shook your head and turned back towards the front, trying your best to remain steady so Steve could get a break. You were flustered at the reminder of the affect you had on him, of how you made him react to your body without knowing it.

You and Steve joined back in on the main conversation after that, hearing the tail end of Robin’s story about an angry customer from the day before. It was hard to focus, though. With the hands splayed wide against you and the thoughts about what could be.

Eddie pulled into the parking lot of the bar shortly after that, turning the car off then glancing at the rest of you with that mischievous look that could only ever be an Eddie face. “You guys ready to get fucked up?”

“Who says we’re getting fucked up?” Nancy, the supposed responsible one, replied.

“Well, miss Wheeler, since I’m the chauffeur and can’t drink tonight, you’re all doing it for me!”

You giggled at your friend's train of thought, “sounds like a solid plan, Eds. You’re gonna be in charge of all of us?”

“Yes and I’ll be great at it! You’ll see.”

Steve leaned his head against yours, “enough chit chat, let’s get in there!”

“Patience, Steven.”

But you were already getting up, and getting out of the van, Steve following. Everyone else did, too, and you all made your way towards the doors, IDs and your best poker face at the ready.

As promised, you got in easily, and then you were all headed to order drinks. Steve’s hand found yours in the crowded space, gripping it to make sure you stayed close to him and he knew you were there. It was sweet, and you squeezed his hand because of it.

Drinks were ordered and downed, the second round for sipping slower. At first, you all stuck together, trying to talk over the noise, but eventually you split off. Nancy and Robin pulled you onto the dance floor with a new drink in hand before you could protest. Steve and the other two boys finding a spot to stand and lean and watch you all, making sure you were okay.

“So, Steve, when are you gonna fess up?”

“What?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. You and Steve were driving him nuts because he knew about the feelings and he knew it would work. It was just taking so long.

“Oh, come on Harrington. That you love her? That there’s something going on. We can all tell.”

“Nothing’s going on.. um. Yeah.”

“Back me up here, Byers.”

Jonathan had a way of speaking that was very persuasive, very matter-of-fact, and that’s why Eddie roped him into the conversation. He needed assistance in his match-making task.

“Steve, it’s kinda obvious. You look at her like she’s the sun, or something. Just admit it.”

You look at her like she’s the sun. Maybe that’s because you are, in a way. The brightest star that keeps him warm and relaxed and cheery. He only hoped he wouldn’t get burnt in your rays.

“Okay. So what? She’s my friend. Yeah.”

“Cut the bullshit. You love her and there’s something there. Just tell us. We can give great advice.. look at Byers over here, he’s in a great relationship.”

“Jesus, we’re having sex. You happy?”

“And you haven’t told her how you feel because..?”

What a great question that was. Steve didn’t even know the answer, because there were so many reasons. You might not feel the same, you might get totally freaked out and pull away from him. Or, you could love him back and he could ruin it because he thinks that’s what he’s best at. Messing things up.

“I don’t know.”

Jonathan spoke more reassuringly, “trust me, she feels the same way. She talks to Nancy about you.”

“Oh. Good to know, thanks.”

You talked about him? Was it good? Did you worry about every little thing like he did? Worry about whether he felt the same way or how to go about things in the future?

That was a lot to think about.

He didn’t have the time to do so, though, because when his eyes were back on you, he saw a guy talking to you. He saw you laugh at something that he said and then he saw him hold out a hand to dance with you. He saw you take it.

He felt like shit.

You were tipsy, just enough to be giggly and happy. When the stranger asked you to dance you didn’t even realize he was flirting, you only agreed because you lost Nancy and Robin and this seemed fun.

Steve downed his drink and walked onto the floor, his eyes focused on you and that fucking guy you were dancing with. In your defence, there was a distance between you and the stranger, not even touching other than the hand he held. That was enough to make Steve jealous, though.

When you saw Steve walking over you waved to him with excitement. Your grin was inviting and it almost made Steve forget about why he was walking over there in the first place. Almost. But the stranger came into view once more, and his jealousy flared up again.

“Steve! Dance with me!”

You let go of the stranger when Steve got close, opting to hold onto him instead. You stumbled a little and Steve caught you with ease, the stranger disappearing into the crowd. You weren’t even drunk, only slightly fuzzy, but it was enough that mixed with the atmosphere, you were feeling extra giddy.

He felt his past annoyance fade, because you were literally tripping to be with Steve instead of that guy. He was who you wanted to dance with, really. Who was he to deny you of that?

“Show me your moves, pretty.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, his going around your waist loosely to give you room to move. You grinned at him, happy to have the contact and time with Steve. Your hips swayed to the best of whatever song was playing, eyes locked on Steve and his on you.

“Why aren’t you dancing, Steven!”

“You’re too good, I can’t compare.”

“Don’t care, dance with me.”

“You’re gonna have to teach me, honey.”

“‘Kay. So just listen to the music, right? Then you gotta move to it.”

He tried, but ended up looking more like a dad at a barbecue than a pretty boy in a bar. You bit your lip to hold in your laugh, but failed, and he pouted at you for it.

“What?”

“You’re gonna need so many lessons.”

“Hey! I’m not bad. Maybe it’s my teacher's fault.”

“No way. You said yourself, I’m too good.”

“Got me there,” he kissed your cheek, distracting you with his soft lips. The lightest touch from him managed to take your mind off of whatever was happening beforehand. It was baffling to know that someone had that much power over you, but you felt safe knowing that person was Steve.

Steve continued to try and dance the way you instructed, often failing but eventually getting better, able to keep rhythm with you. You were having fun, not a care about the world around you.

After a while, your mouth was dry from the lack of a drink and constant movement, “Steve, ‘M thirsty.”

“Don’t move, I’ll get you some water. Sound good?”

“Mhm. You’re the best,” you gave him a quick peck and he was off. You didn’t really think about kissing him, it was a reflex that you couldn’t control.

From different spots scattered around the place, your friends all collectively saw you and Steve’s quick kiss. Various reactions of eye rolls, smiles, and eyebrow raises ensued but they were all thinking the same thing. When would you two finally get together?

After the collective moment of briefly watching you two interact, they went back to whatever they were doing before. Eddie trying to convince the bartender to give his band a slot, Robin playing a game of darts against a random stranger, Nancy and Jonathan creating narratives for strangers throughout the place.

You waited for Steve and stayed put as promised, but got antsy when he was taking a while. To be fair, it had probably only been five minutes, but any time without him felt longer. You stood on your tip toes trying to find him, when you did, you wished you hadn’t.

He was talking to a girl, a pretty one. Damn it.

Her hair was shiny and soft and seemed perfectly in place even in the sweaty atmosphere. Her smile perfect with teeth that looked super clean and white. Worst of all, her hand was on his arm as she laughed at one of his jokes. Jokes that should be meant for you.

Jealousy was a bitch.

You wanted to push your way over there, to nudge her away from him and take her spot. You wanted to have your hand on him and you wanted to be on the receiving end of his humour. You hated the feeling, like reality was coming back to you because he wasn’t yours, he never had been.

Then, the stranger from earlier was next to you again.

Steve was graciously turning the girl down. She was really pretty, seemed nice, too. She wasn’t you, though. He made some kind of self deprecating joke to make her feel better and he shifted at the arm she placed on him. Lately the only touch he welcomed was yours. He apologized to her, grabbing his two waters off the counter and turning around to find you.

He didn’t like what he saw.

The guy who you danced with for like two minutes earlier in the night was back, leaned in way too close to you for Steve’s liking. Rationally, somewhere in his mind Steve knew it was probably just so you could hear him. But, that’s the funny thing with jealousy, rational thoughts go out the window.

He wanted to storm over and push the guy away from you, to tell him to fuck off and stop trying because you were his. But that was a lie. You weren’t really his, and he wasn’t yours. You weren’t doing anything wrong, you weren’t even touching the guy and still, Steve was fuming.

Instead of storming, Steve walked as casually as he could muster until he was behind you, wrapping an arm around your waist and tugging you against him. You stumbled a little, surprised because you didn’t see him coming, but when you smelled Steve’s cologne, you relaxed into him.

“Here’s your water, babe.”

“Thanks.”

You chugged it down, and while you drank, Steve stared the other boy down. He was conveying a message with his fixed gaze.

She’s taken. Go away. She’s with me, not you.

The guy walked away, muttering something along the lines of ‘asshole,’ under his breath and retreating. The relief Steve felt was immediate, because you were in his embrace, after all.

You finished your water, feeling refreshed and clear. The song playing was a great one, and you started to sway again, this time right against Steve who was still holding you against his front. This time, he moved with you easily. His hips grinding against your ass not so subtly and you loved it.

It was getting arousing, the way he groaned in your ear when you moved a certain way, the grip on your waist tightening as if he had to let out tension somehow. He was turned on and you knew it, you felt it.

When you pushed yourself into him harder, he couldn’t take it anymore and leaned down so his mouth was next to your ear, “bathroom. Now.”

He was walking away before you could muster a reply, but he knew you’d follow.

You did, staying a few paces behind him but making sure you could see where he was going. He walked into the hallway with the bathrooms with you in tow, heading into the furthest one from the rest of the bar.

As soon as you were through the door, he was rushing to kiss you and press you against it, flipping the lock so nobody would disturb you. He pushed himself against you, his hands wandering all over like they couldn’t settle. You had one hand in his hair, the other squeezing his shoulder.

It was like all of the built up tension throughout the night had finally snapped. The car ride over with you on Steve’s lap, the glimpses of jealousy, the dancing together that eventually brought you here.

The kiss was a mess of tongues, fast paced and probably the most heated you’d ever felt with Steve. You didn’t know if it was the environment of the bar, if it was the shift from the perfect day rearing its head, or if it was everything you couldn’t say being conveyed.

Steve pulled you off the door, walking you over to the sink and helping you to sit up on the counter where he could fit himself between your thighs. His hands cradled your head for a minute, kissing you again with so much passion, so much force, your mind was a blur of Steve and nothing else.

His hands then traveled up your legs, pushing the skirt of your dress up along with them until it was up around your waist, leaving your underwear in sight. His kisses shifted down to your neck, then he pulled the collar of your dress down to suck a hickey into your skin where it could be hidden later. A reminder for you, and nobody else.

Then, he was kneeling, his lips now moving up your legs until he was teasing the insides of your thighs, riling you up.

“Steve.”

“Hm?”

“You’re teasing me.”

“Thought you liked to be teased, pretty. You’ve been teasing me ever since you got into the damn van.”

You scoffed, “you’re the one who pulled me onto your lap.”

“Always blaming me, huh?”

You were about to reply when you were cut off by your own gasp at the feeling of Steve’s fingers finding your clit over your underwear.

“Steve, come on.”

“What is it, honey? Tell me what you want.”

Your hips were squirming, searching for relief, “please touch me. Mmm, want your mouth.”

“Only because you asked so nicely.”

Definitely not because he’d been dying to taste you since he had you on his lap. He moved your panties aside, and leaned in to lick a stripe up to your clit. He was calculated and quick, knowing exactly what to do to please you.

You leaned back, holding yourself up with one hand and the other buried in his hair, your legs thrown over his shoulders. You couldn’t help but moan when he sucked your clit into his mouth, grateful for the blaring music that blocked out any noises you made.

As good as he was making you feel, you couldn’t wait any longer to have him, so you pulled him back using your grip on his hair. He looked up at you, slightly concerned and confused.

“Something wrong?”

“Not at all. Just don’t wanna wait anymore.”

“Yeah? You want me?”

“So bad.”

He stood up, letting your legs fall from his shoulders and leaning in to kiss you. His hands were busy finding his wallet, then the condom that was in it. The kiss grew messy due to Steve’s distraction, and you moved to kiss at his neck, giving him some room to breathe.

While Steve ripped the package open, your hands worked quickly to undo his belt and his pants, pushing them down along with his underwear enough to free him of his confines.

He groaned, slipping the condom on and tossing the wrapper aside before pulling you closer to him so you were sat on the edge of the counter. Your legs wrapped around his waist, arms around his neck.

“Still okay? You’re ready for me?”

“Yes, Steve. Please.”

“I’ll take care of you.”

Steve didn’t waste any more time, lining himself up and pushing into you with ease considering how wet you were, and how in tune you were with his body. He gave you a second to adjust, but when your legs squeezed around him, pushing him deeper, his resolve collapsed.

He pulled himself out of you almost completely before pushing back in, quick, hard, deep. His grip was tight around your back, keeping you steady and close. Steve was a careful partner, even in more intense moments like this one.

Something about the way he was fucking you, the added roughness to his actions had your mind losing focus of anything that wasn’t Steve.

“Fuck. You feel so good,” he was breathing heavily, moans falling into the space between you. He kissed you again, but it quickly became an uncoordinated thing because of his pace. The kiss broke but the two of you stayed close, your mouths hovering over each other to breathe in every sound.

It wasn’t long before he felt you tightening around him, your pelvis squirming against his because you were close. He drew back enough to snake a hand down to your clit, giving you the added sensation you needed to reach your end.

“That’s it. You’re gonna come for me, huh?”

All you could manage was a nod, your mouth agape to heave in as much air as you could, your eyebrows scrunched with that expression he knew you made before you came.

“Go on, pretty. All over me.”

“Fuck. Steve.”

Your head fell back, your orgasm hitting you as hard as Steve’s movements. He kept going, pushing you through it and making it more intense than it already was. He pulled out of you when he could tell you were sensitive, giving you a moment to catch your breath.

“You didn’t come?”

“Not yet, babe. Want you to again. Can you?”

“Shit. Yeah.”

He lifted you off the counter, setting you down and spinning you so that you faced the mirror, bent over the sink with Steve standing behind you. He nudged your legs apart so he could fit between them, your skirt still flipped up to give him access.

Steve’s eyes locked onto yours through the mirror, checking your face to see if you were ready to go again, and your eager nod told him you were. He pushed into you again, his pace picking up right away. His hips smacking against your ass, an arm around your middle and a hand teasing your nipples through the fabric of your dress.

Your eyes squeezed shut at the heat of it all, the overwhelming pleasure leaving you completely fucked. Steve didn’t like that, though, and he moved a hand onto the back of your neck.

“No. Open your eyes.”

You obeyed, it was hard not to when he used a commanding tone that was harsher than what you’d heard from him before. Your eyes opening and looking at him in the mirror yet again.

“Good girl. Watch me fuck you. Who’s making you feel like this?”

“You, Steve. Only you.”

“That’s right, only me. Nobody else can get you like me, huh?”

Your response got stuck in your throat after a hard thrust from Steve, a moan coming out instead. He was so completely lost in you that he didn’t really know what he was saying, only that he wanted it to give a message.

Mine.

He never thought he’d be a possessive person, but he supposes being in love with someone who he only has sex with would complicate things. Love wasn’t what he was conveying with this round, he was fucking the jealousy out of your systems, reminding himself that you only gave yourself to him this way. For now, at least.

He pulled you up from your spot leaning on the countertop, your head falling back onto his shoulder and your hand grabbing the back of his head. His pace kept up through it all, chasing his high as well as yours.

“Please.”

You didn’t even know what you were asking for, relief, anything at all. You were encompassed by Steve and his feel, his smell, you didn’t have time to think about anything other than how he was making you feel.

Your legs were shaky and Steve’s grip around your middle played a big part in keeping you upright. He was working you both up to a sweat, foreheads damp and bodies warm.

“Can feel you squeezing me, pretty. You gonna come again?”

“Yeah. Don’t stop.”

“Never gonna stop with you.”

You couldn’t stay up anymore, and collapsed over the counter yet again when you felt your second orgasm coming on, and Steve followed. He leaned over you while he got you through it, encouragement and praises muttered into your ear between his own moans.

“Fucking shit,” he came with you then, his hips losing rhythm until he was stilled in you and all that was left were sounds of you two trying to catch your breaths.

When the two of you came down, Steve’s previous roughness seemed to melt away completely, his hands running over you and his forehead against the back of your shoulder.

He got up after a couple minutes, pressing a soft kiss between your shoulder blades and pulling away from you to get rid of the condom and right his clothes. He came back to you with a wad of toilet paper in hand, wetting it in the sink and then using it to clean you up.

You hissed at the sensitivity, and he kissed your back again and whispered an, ‘I know, you’re okay,’ into your skin.

He fixed your clothes for you after that, pulling you up and turning you around so you were facing him. Your eye makeup smudged and your forehead shiny with sweat, but your mouth was twisted in a lazy smile.

He brushed your hair away from your face, “did I hurt you?”

“No, you were perfect.”

“Okay. Okay, good.”

He was concerned that he was too harsh with you, letting his emotions get the best of him. While he knows you would tell him if he did something wrong that had to do with sex, he couldn’t help but worry about you.

“We should probably get back out there.”

“Maybe we should fix your makeup a little, honey. You look like you just got fucked.”

You laughed, “that’s completely your fault, you know.”

“Yeah, so let me help.”

He ran some paper towel under the faucet, getting it damp and then using two fingers to grip your chin and tilt your face up to him. He swiped away at the makeup beneath your eyes, his touch soft and careful. When he was satisfied with his job, he pecked your nose and moved to let you look.

You smiled at his softness after sex, his willingness and need to take care of you even in the aftermath. He came back to hug you from behind, to kiss your cheek and your neck once and then perch his chin on your shoulder.

“Still pretty even with a fucked up hairdo.”

“Again, your fault.”

“I know, sorry. Can't help it, I like having my hands on you.”

You glanced down to where they were resting on your stomach, “yeah, I know. I like it, too.”

“That’s my girl.”

That’s my girl. Did he mean that? Did he really want you to be his? You really hoped so because you wanted that more than anything. Tonight was yet another shift in everything, the open affection, the neediness and jealousy that brought you to the bathroom. It had to be more than just sex, there was no way it wasn’t.

That scared you almost as much as it excited you.

“‘Kay, I’ll let you fix your hair and wait in the hall. Sound good?”

“Mhm. Thanks, Steve.”

You shared a quick kiss, another thing that felt like something a boyfriend and girlfriend would share. Something soft and languid. Easy.

He backed away and left the bathroom to let you finish up, and was startled by Eddie walking into the hallway at the same time.

“There you are, Harrington! I’ve been looking for you all over. It’s time to go, Robin and Nancy said so. So we have to listen.”

“Oh, yeah. Okay.”

How long had he been in there with you? Shit, Eddie was about to witness you walk out of the same bathroom.

Just as Steve thought it, you walked out into the hall and stopped short when you saw Eddie talking to Steve. Both of their heads turned to look at you, and the long haired boy smirked teasingly because he caught you. Red handed and all.

“Well, look who it is!”

“Um, Steve was just helping me fix my.. hair. Yeah.”

“Okay, sure he was.”

Steve shook his head, turned to look at you and attempted to change the subject because this was awkward. “Eddie said it’s time to head out, you ready?”

“Sure, lead the way.”

You trailed behind the boys, Steve turning to make sure you were still there every couple seconds. Eddie noticed it, “real discreet, Harrington.”

“Shut up, Munson.”

The drive home was much more relaxed than the way there, everyone subdued and lazy from the quiet of the car. You sat next to Steve this time, his hand on your leg and your head on his shoulder.

Neither of you cared about any ideas the others would get then, it wasn’t even on your minds.

Besides, they all knew anyway.

They got to your house first, and Eddie turned to look at you with a smile, “we’ve arrived at our first destination, miss.”

“Thanks, Eds.”

“‘Course, see ya.”

A chorus of ‘bye’s and ‘goodnight’s from your friends, a squeeze on your leg from Steve, “I’ll walk you up.”

“Okay.”

You got out of the car, and Steve came along, walking with you up to your porch which really wasn’t far at all, but the gesture was sweet nonetheless.

You paused at your door, Steve’s hand trailing down your arm to grab your hand in his.

“I had a good night. I really like you, pretty.”

Your breath caught, because that could have easily been an admission of feelings. You weren’t sure if he was saying it that way, or if he even realized. He called you his best friend, that must be what he meant.

“I really like you too, Steve.”

“I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, you know you will.”

“I’m that irresistible, huh?”

“Shut it, Steven.”

He just smiled and shrugged at you, and he leaned in to give you a slow kiss. He was fully aware your friends were probably watching, but he wasn’t worried about that because they knew enough already. He wanted to kiss you, so he did.

You returned it despite the shock you felt at him giving you a kiss goodnight in front of the prying eyes of your nosy friends. You loved Steve, and you’d never turn down a kiss from him.

He pulled away, squeezing your hand that he still held, “Goodnight, babe.”

“‘Night.”

He walked off while you unlocked your door and went in, shutting it behind you and leaning your head onto the wood because what the fuck? Tonight was definitely something you’d have to work yourself up over later.

When Steve got back in the van he was met with everyone’s eyes on him, some smiles and some eyebrows arched at him.

“You’re so gone for her it’s insane.”

“Thank you for the revelation, Robin.”

“Why aren’t you guys dating yet?”

“It’s complicated.”

An exasperated breath from Eddie was heard by everyone, “it’s really not. You guys love each other, simple. Just be honest and then voila! It’s pretty clear to literally everyone that you’re a thing, just make it official and put us all out of our misery.”

Steve just turned to look out the window, he wasn’t in the mood for an intervention or a spell out of what he knew he should do. He was scared to be honest and open, having been hurt in the past because of it.

“Just drive, Eddie.”

It’s been almost a week since that night, and things between you and Steve were.. different.

You haven’t had sex since then, no late night phone call that could only be one person, no sleepovers, nothing. You only saw him when you hung out with the others, and it was strange.

You missed him, you missed his touch and his smell and his cuddles in the morning. Being in love with him only made it worse.

You, of course, overthought that night at the bar. Did he ditch you for that girl he talked to? Was he freaked out because your friends knew and he didn’t want anything to do with you if it wasn’t a secret? It felt like he was pulling away from you and it was scary, terrifying.

Steve, on the other hand, realized something after the bar. He realized that you had feelings for him too because why else would you welcome his touch so readily at any moment, why else would you treat him the way you did. Maybe Eddie had a hand in this realization, but either way, it was finally in Steve’s head.

He felt the change in you and it scared him. Of course Steve wanted to be with you, but he was so nervous that something would go wrong. The last thing he wanted was to lose you and your friendship because he couldn’t take care of you properly as a girlfriend.

Even though he’d been treating you as his all along, the title made it more real. Made it easier to lose.

The pouring rain was the perfect backdrop to both of your emotions lately. The confusion and indecisiveness on what to do next lingering.

Your thoughts were running wild, faster than you could keep up with, but you knew the one thing you needed to do was be honest with Steve. You needed to tell him how you felt before he pulled away completely, because you weren’t letting that happen. He treated you like a lover would, and you were ready to stop ignoring that.

His house wasn’t too far from yours, so you decided it would be a great idea to bike over in the rain to see him. You guessed people really do act like fools when they’re in love.

A knock on the front door brought Steve out of his whirling thoughts of you and what the hell he was going to do.

He walked over and opened the door to find just the person he was thinking about. You stood in front of him, drenched from the rain and panting. Still beautiful.

“Hi, Steve.”

“What the hell are you doing? You’re gonna get sick. Get in here.”

He pulled you inside by your sleeve, running up the stairs to get you a towel and a change of clothes because he couldn’t go a minute without making sure you were alright. He could worry about why you showed up unannounced after you stopped shivering.

Steve came back and wrapped the towel around you, rubbing his hands up and down your arms to give you warmth then kneeling to untie your shoes and help you slip them off. You could’ve done it yourself, he knew that, but he liked to do things for you anyways.

When he stood, he handed you the clothes he brought down for you, some sweats you left in your drawer, and ushered you to the downstairs bathroom to change.

“Go, put these on then we can talk, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you.”

You shut the door softly behind you and changed as fast as you could. Partly because you wanted to talk to Steve as soon as possible, and partly because you were really cold. Biking in the rain was a stupid thing to do but you were about to drive yourself insane with your stressed out thoughts.

Steve was who you needed to see, so you came to see him.

Once you changed, your wet clothes hung up in the shower, you walked out to find Steve. He was sitting on the couch in the living room, his head turning when he heard you approach. You walked around to the front of the couch, sitting down when Steve patted the spot next to him.

“Is everything okay?”

He couldn’t stop worrying, wondering why you showed up this way when usually you’d call him and he’d drive. Something had to be wrong for you to go out in the pouring rain and end up on his doorstep.

It was especially concerning to him because he knew things were off the last few days, and he knew he was pulling away from you for no good reason. He was only doing it because he loved you so much and the idea of messing anything up scared him.

“Yeah, it’s fine. I just wanted to talk to you.. if that’s okay?”

“‘Course it’s okay, honey. I’m here for you. What’s going on?”

You had to take a deep breath to prepare yourself, to get ready to spill your heart out to Steve. It’s what you came here to do, and as much as you wanted to back out, you couldn’t. You had to see this through even if it’d break you in the process.

“Ever since that night at the bar, things have been weird, don’t you think? We haven’t done anything just us and I miss it. I’ve just been thinking so much and I wanted to come and see you. I wanted to know what was going on because you seem to be pushing me away, and if you wanna end it that’s, um, that’s fine just tell me now.”

Steve was frozen, taking in all of the information you just dumped on him at once. He heard it all but he couldn’t get past the part where you said the reason you came to see him was because he was pushing you away, being different. He had no idea you cared enough to risk a cold—which was like, your least favorite thing ever—just to see him.

“You came all the way here because I was acting differently?”

He was so fucked.

“Yeah. Is that weird?”

“No. No, it’s really sweet. I’m sorry for making you feel bad.”

“Stop. That’s the thing, Steve, you don’t make me feel bad. You do the opposite, really.”

Oh god, you were gonna do it. You were about to confess your love for him and there was absolutely no turning back now. Your heart was pounding in your chest, your palms clammy.

“I do?”

“Yeah. You make me feel so good. Like, the best I’ve ever felt and I don’t just mean.. you know. I mean all the time. Just being around you.”

Holy shit. It was happening. Steve could tell where this was going and he was buzzing. He wanted to tell you first, but he supposed you were braver than he ever could be. He could feel your nerves, though, and he reached over to grab your hands that were fiddling in your lap.

Your eyes flicked to his when he did, encouragement and care written all over his face. It was enough to get you to keep talking.

“So, um. Ever since I moved here and Eddie introduced us, you’ve been my closest friend, and I want to tell you I think you always will be. But, I was hoping maybe we could be more than that?”

“You mean…”

“I mean I’m in love with you.”

“Really?”

Steve was someone who needed reassurance, who needed to know everything because he hated being blindsided, and you knew that. You knew pretty much everything about him.

“Yeah, really. For a really long time. I realized that day, with the diner and stuff. But, I think I’ve loved you since we started.. ya know. I just never knew it.”

“I can't believe this is happening.”

“I’m sorry if it’s not what you wanna hear.. we can forget about it and-”

“No! No, it’s not- I love you, too. I’m in love with you. Have been for months.”

“We’re idiots, aren’t we?”

“Completely. But I do love you. I’m better when I’m with you, better because of you. I want to be with you, and I don’t wanna hide it anymore, okay?”

“So, I’m your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, pretty. Can finally call you my girl.”

“I’ve been yours.. I never thought about anyone else.”

“Me either. I think you're it for me and it’s scary. I don’t wanna lose you and that’s why I’ve been distant. I’m sorry.”

You understood where he was coming from, and you knew that he had a lot of baggage from his past relationships and childhood, you only hoped he’d let you be there to help him carry it. To take some of the weight off his shoulders.

“It’s okay, Steve. Everything’s okay. I love you and nothing’s gonna change that.”

He pulled you into him then, his hand on the back of your neck to guide your lips to his. He kissed you without any restraint, putting all of his love for you there and it felt incredible. It was honest and raw and it was a promise of the future. One with you two together.

You were the happiest you’d been, Steve was fully yours and he was kissing you like he wanted you to know that. You only pulled away when you ran out of breath, leaning your forehead against his and squeezing his hand that was still in yours.

Steve pulled away and smiled that devastating smile at you, his hand still a comfort weight on the back of your neck, his eyes soft and sweet.

“Sleepover?”

“I kinda already told my mom I was staying here.”

He shook his head at you, “presumptuous of you, pretty.”

“I’d like to call it hopeful. And smart! I was thinking ahead.”

“Of course you were.”

The night was full of touches and kisses and teasing. Your dynamic stronger than it was before and it was perfect. It was everything. You cuddled in bed without any hesitation at all, your head on Steve’s chest and an arm tossed over his stomach, his arms hugging you close.

As you were dozing off you felt a kiss to your forehead, an ‘I love you’ spoken into your skin. You said it back and then, you were asleep.

When Eddie found out about your relationship with Steve being official, he practically screamed ‘finally!’ before giving you a hug.

“I knew you guys were gonna end up together! Eddie the matchmaker, you’re welcome.”

You and Steve looked at each other and grinned. You were thinking the same thing: maybe you really should be thanking Eddie because if it weren’t for him you two would’ve never met. If it weren’t for him you would’ve gone your whole life without knowing the best boy that was Steve Harrington.

“Thanks, Eds.”

Steve looked at you, and everytime he did he practically had hearts in his eyes. His emotions were written all over him.

“Yeah. Guess I owe you one, Munson.”

And it’s just as good as I knew it would be / Stay with me, I don’t want you to leave <3

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