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the-cookie-of-doom · 25 days

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Cookie's Fic Recs

I feel like no one really does rec lists anymore! But last night I was feeling and sappy and mushy and decide to put together my own little list of fics I love. These are in no particular order, and they don't follow any real theme/tropes other than I dearly love them all, and you should definitely give them a read!

*I tried to tag everyone I could find a blog for, but if I missed anyone, please let me know I can tag them!

The Instinctual Gravitation Towards Warmth by kimkhimhant (@kimkhimhant)

This is my comfort fic. No joke, this is what I read when I want to die. It’s angsty as all hell, it’s made me cry, but it is so indescribably good. Kim is an addict going through recovery, finding love and family along the way. He hits rock bottom—arguably multiple times—but always claws his way back, always with the support of the people that love him. It’s such a beautifully written and cathartic story, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read it. But it’s almost certainly the fic I’ve reread the most.

Error in the Code by BlackwaterVial (@blackwatervial)

Sneaking this VegasPete onto my otherwise KimChay list bc it altered me. I think most people already know what it is, but jic: it’s a sci-fi/cyberpunk/android AU, and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever read. I go feral for androids and this fic delivers in all the best ways. The world building alone makes me weep. But all of the characters interactions, the way we get such an in depth feel for everyone despite the limited PoV, and the most satisfying take I’ve seen on android artificial intelligence ever—I can’t recommend this story enough.

Idiots & Idioms by snickerdoodlles (@snickerdoodlles)

This one is actually a series, and it's genuinely so much fun to read. For the most part it's a SocMed fic with Chay taking over Wik's twitter and making it everyone's problem, and it's fkn hysterical. This one is actually a series, and it's genuinely so much fun to read. For the most part it's a SocMed fic with Chay taking over Wik's twitter and making it everyone's problem, and it's fkn hysterical.

Silver for Truth by snickerdoodlles (@snickerdoodlles)

This fic is the Kim & Khun vs. Tawan team-up we deserve. Kim is a ruthless, demented bitch, that's too cool to beat Tawan to death bc what if he messes up his wrists right before a show?? Big, get 'im. Kim is the feral-est cat ever, leaving behind evidence and bodies for Kinn bc saying "hey bro, I still love you/look out for you" is too much emotion for him. The fic is also from Tawan's PoV which also makes it the funniest thing ever, for reason that I won't spoil <3

The Wiked Lies We Live by shubaka (@shubaka)

Oh my god, this fic. Canon divergence (technically??) where most things happen as normal... except KimChay have been bodyswaped at the start of it. The little twists Shu puts on the events of canon, given it isn't the correct characters experiencing them (such as Big being very confused about why Kim is suddenly nice to him??) are so much fun.

A Portrait of Affection by froginthesun (@froginthesun)

Kim is an artist and Chay is the part time nude model he hires. ‘Nuff said right there, except no it isn’t, this fic is beautiful. Kim’s frustration with his craft is palpable, and so is the way he rediscovers his passion through Chay. The writing is wonderfully detailed, every chapter felt like walking through a museum. And tension slowly building between them—unf.

Sunshine in My Closet by moneskin

This is an A/B/O AU that is so satisfying to read. Typical hilarious boundary violations (Chay stealing Kim’s clothes, a bewildered Kim handing over a freshly worn outfit, having barely any idea who this strange kid is) characteristic of the AU, but then the story also delves deeper into more serious topics. Chay has a history of abuse from a past alpha that he has to learn how to navigate with Kim, who is incredibly patient and works hard to make Chay feel safe and loved. Overall a very sweet and comforting read. Seriously, this fic makes me melt.

Your Body Feels Like Disrespect by Blue_Jay (@bluejayfiction)

This fic is so funny because it begins with Kim blurting out, in the middle of an Important Mafia MeetingTM, that he and Chay aren’t having sex, and then wanting to die about it. Followed by Kim’s family trying very hard to both support and terrorize him. It’s hilarious, sexy, and one of my favorite reads when I need a pick me up. (Bless Kinn’s determination to be a Good and Supportive Brother, and Vegas for being the Worst Person Ever.)

In Silent Screams (In Wildest Dreams) by BelladonnaWyck and StratsWrites

This is definitely a darker fic. There’s DubCon, Kim is generally Sketchy, but it’s very hot. And I love explorations of his character where he isn’t just outwardly psychotic and cruel. This fic shows the kind of dark that I think Kim could have been, if you just tilted his character a little to the left. He still seems very much the way he is in canon, but he’s also… a lot more calculating and cold, sometimes. I love it.

Forget-me-always by bisexualbard (@bisexualbard-writes)

I cannot sing the praises of this fic enough. I think it’s probably tied for IGTW for my most-read fics. I’ve probably read this one more often in reality, but only bc it’s shorter. But oh my god, does it hurt. Kim gets struck with amnesia post-break up, does a little light stalking, and gets Chay to help him learn/remember who he is. In the process realizes that wow his life sucks, and there’s no way he wants to go back to it. Especially if he’s the kind of person that hurt Chay. He would rather start over. (Ofc, he doesn’t get to). This fic makes me cry, it’s so good

Coffeehouse Play by AirgodSLV

This is a canon divergence AU that I adore. The KimChay characterization is on point. I love that despite everything going on around them, they also get to be two boys that hang out and play videogames and try to shove each other off the couch while Porsche makes dinner. Given the age difference it’s so easy to make Kim Older and MatureTM, but he’s still a kid, and this story never once forgets that. It felt so honest and true to his character that Kim does have a lot of plans, and he’s very smart, but he’s also still so young, and sometimes shit just goes wrong.

Want and Need by bisexualbard (@bisexualbard-writes)

God, this fic. T h i s f i c. Post-canon Chay goes to therapy and becomes a camboy (in that order) and it’s delicious. Watching the steady breakdown of his and Porsche’s relationship is so satisfying. Everything one of them does to make things worse feels awful, but is so in character that it’s hard to be mad at them for their decisions. Kim readily giving up control if it means he can be with Chay, and Chay getting a crash course in how to dom. All of it is just. So good. This is such a good fic

Your Look, Through This Lens by WildelyDawn (@wildelydawn)

AU where Chay becomes Kim’s photographer. This fic emotionally hobbled me. Just a fair warning. You will cry. But that said, the ending isn’t nearly as sad as the tags would have you believe! At least in my opinion. I think it’s fairly open/hopeful, and beautiful either way. I love the way this fic shows how Kim balances being Wik while also being part of the mafia. And I love how temperamental he is; always hot and cold, while remaining pretty even as far as how he expresses himself. Always very aloof/detached, just out of reach, with Chay never really sure where he stands/what Kim wants. But at the same time the fic happens just before Kim gets a big break, and the subtle ways he shows his excitement and nerves as things start coming together—it’s wonderful.

Love’s a Two-Way Dream by giraffeter (@giraffeter)

This fic is dark. Kim atticwife’s Chay and it’s not a good time. But!! It’s not just dark for the sake of it; Kim is a genuine sociopath, yes, but it unfolds slowly. You get a sense of creeping dread as he does things that are just a little bit off, until finally the Big Bad Thing happens. At first he seems normal, playing the part of good and respectful boyfriend. But it just goes downhill from there, and I love every word of it. The ending especially is very satisfying.

In the Dark of the Night by bisexualbard (@bisexualbard-writes)

Not to recc everything Bard writes, but… This is a rape recovery fic that I feel handles the subject matter incredibly well. There’s no gratuitous rape scenes, and even with the flashbacks, I don’t remember any of them being incredibly detailed. I think Bard handled the fic with incredible respect and grace. This is another one that’ll make you cry. The way Chay handles his past trauma while trying to have a relationship with Kim is so painfully real. And so is the way Kim wants to help him, but doesn’t really know how. But they figure it out together, and it’s amazing. (Also Kim acquires a stabby child in the form of an OC that I adore.) I just love the path Chay's recovery takes in this fic, it's so visceral and relatable. It's all around just. So good. I love this fic for the same reason I love IGTW and it's because both fics show an excellent depiction of recovery.

Chains and Crowns, A Flower Can Both Make by Sweet_William (@sweet-william-writes)

Incredibly Regency AU. Historical AUs are some of my all time favorites, and this is everything I didn’t know I needed. Sweet_William captures the essence of an Austen-esque style while still making this feel like the KinnPorsche characters. Chay is wonderfully feisty, Kim is delightfully complex, and the various family interactions always had me cackling.

Simple Little Secrets by CorvusCloudburst (@cloudburst-ink)

Chay sees the future when he touches people. Kim thinks he’s either insane, a spy, or a conman. Oh, and Chay’s visions of Kim? Always sex-related. The shenanigans are endless. What more do you need?? They’re both crazy4crazy and it’s my favorite thing ever. Their banter is snappy and fun, the writing is sexy, and it never once gave me second-hand embarrassment despite Chay’s horrible situations.

#cookie speaks #kimchay #kinnporche the series #fic rec #anyway i love all of you #I hope this makes people's days a lil brighter #<3<3<3

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just-a-lil-critter · 1 year

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I know I said I hated making analysis posts

but holy fuck nuggets

if I was crying last week, I must've ended draughts in the fucking Sahara today, my god. anygayss onto the word vomit>>

The Speaker :-

this scene already had the waterworks going tbh, the way she stumbles over her words and stands alone, begging the crowd to

look at him, please look at him he's just a boy playing hero let us save him, tell us we can save him let him in he does not belong in the rain

and I wonder how people could possibly hate her character, see her courage and passionate desperation to save a person she cares about from the darkness and think 'uraraka isn't a real hero, she's just there for the cute heroine role' like shut the hell up this is queen shit right here

A GODDESS/ BABYGIRL/ LOVE OF MY FKN LIFE RIGHT HERE YA PLEBIANS

The Spoken:-

but really, this episode belongs to Ayane-san, she fucking slayed Ochako's speech. the hoarse shout of her screaming over the crowd, say

"he's just a student! please let him stay in the one place he has always belonged and been welcome, please let him come back to his hero academia, his home"

gave me such intense goosebumps I had to pause and walk that shit off

Also Izuku falling to his knees and sobbing so hard he's gasping for air? looking like a stray kitten with his teary green eyes and battered figure?? I am a puddle of tears at his feet someone give my baby a long, bubbly shower and some hot cocoa ಥ_ಥ

(Special mention to the heteromorph lady and Kota for hugging him for us T^T)

The Saving:-

First off, love how everyone's all teary eyed (Kirishima my manliest boi is sobbing) and it moves to Katsuki all deadpan like asjhsjedknws

Izuku meanwhile, looks fucking gorgeous (his eyes are back, his emerald doe eyesss) like imagine being heckled by a crowd and then being asked for reassurance?? the AUDACITY?!and he responds so confidently MY BABY I'M FOREVER PROUD OF THIS SIDE OF HIS

the end scene was a balm to wound, I cannot stress how long I paused it just to take in how soft it all was. the umbrella dude, Inko on his arm, Iida making way with Yaomomo, Kami, Tokoyami and Katsuki while Kota follows Izuku behind and the others handle the crowd-

In summary, class 1A is peak bestie goals, Ochako is the hero we don't have but need ;-; , Kota is best boi and Izuku is the sweetest crybaby hero to ever exist periodt.

I'm done now it's y'all turn, lemme hear them thots I am despairing for a good chat :3

#bnha #bkdk #mha #horikoshi #bakugou katsuki #izuku midoriya #my hero academia #uraraka ochako #bnha ochako #izuocha #sakura ayane

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silentmoths · 1 year

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Moth Moth Humor me a little Zhongli seeing his beloved in lingerie.... <w< that's it that's all bye

OHOHOHOOOOO BITCH.

okokok so immediately the brainrot for this hhhhh

Some vaugely nsfw brainrots below~

nothing particularly explicit but like, its there ig.

his darling is a shy little thing, for the most part you're all baggy shirts and sweat pants, a real comfy vibe, and he loves that, your style screams 'cuddlable' and hell fkn yeah you are. He loves to just hold and nuzzle and snuggle it's his immediate de-stressor after coming home from another long day dealing with director Hu and her pranks.

now much like the outerwear, he's very used to his darling preferring comfort over style when it comes to underwear, something he can understand.

so when he comes home one day to find his darling in a matching set of lace lingere?

He nearly hits the damn floor.

He has to do a double take, a triple take. He needs to make sure he hasnt walked into the wrong house but no, thats definitely his little gem's face, bright red with embarassment.

Before you have a chance to squeak and hide, before the second thoughts come crashing in, he's on you like nothing else before. He's purring so damn loud and like, it doesn't exaclty take much to get him horny, but like, bruh, the rate in which he goes from flacid to full flag is....honestly a little concerning sir is your blood pressure ok?

It takes all his self control, and you hissing about how much this set cost, for him to not absolutely tear it off you to fuck you stupid, no, he has to be reverent if he ever wants a treat like this again.

but this also leads into another funny little thought.

Zhongli being stuck in paperwork hell, he brings work home and holes up in his office, you're a dutiful and understanding person of course, your husband worked hard and you would always be there to support him. wether it be bringing him a fresh cup of tea and a kiss on the cheek, the occasional dinner in his office.

but encouraging him to take a break could be...difficult.

unless of course, you lean in the doorframe with nothing but a new set you'd been saving for him on, only slightly hidden beneath a matching chemise.

dude nearly ploughs straight through his desk when you wink and slink off down the hall towards your room.

Taglist: @stygianoir @meimeimeirin @ainescribe @dustofthedailylife @rjssierjrie @crystalflygeo Want to be added to the list? shoot me an ask~

#Silentmothasks #silentmoth writes #moths moots #its crys!!#zhongli x reader #zhongli x reader smut

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judeswhore · 10 months

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Bsf! Jude getting an hard on from u for the first time. He’d probably be sooo embarrassed cuz maybe ur like with friends watching a movie and ur cuddling in the couch and you can sooo clearly feel lot start to poke you a little and ur just giggling and making fun of him

spooning while watching a film and like the two of u have been friends for so long that this is normal but lately jude hasn’t been able to stop thinking abt u in ways that he really shouldn’t. he’s been having dreams too so that just makes it 10x worse and you’ve come over for movie night in the shortest shorts and one of his old shirts and he’s having such a hard time controlling himself. and ur just watching a film snuggled all innocent but then u shift a little and he can smell ur perfume and ur arse is right on his cock and suddenly he’s getting hard and he can’t stop it and he can’t move away and he’s so humiliated. then u start wiggling back against him and he can’t tell if it’s on purpose or not so he’s just grabbing ur hip to stop u and he hears the softest little giggle and then ur like “are u hard rn?” while still trying to press back against him and u know fine well he is so before he can answer ur just “we’re watching harry potter what abt this is doing it for u?” and he just pinches ur hip in response but he can’t help but press his cock a little firmer against u when he says “u know fine well it’s not the fkn movie. stop wiggling” and he’s going crazy bc he knows ur teasing him and how the hell does he get out of this or move passed it. but u don’t seem to mind, grabbing his wrist and pushing his hand up under ur shirt, urging him to cup ur boob and he’s groaning against the top of ur head all “don’t play games, sweetheart” bc ur friendship is literally on the line but you’d just press back against him and be like “m’not playing jude” and the way u say his name absolutely ruins him

#hey jude :)

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azsazz · 2 years

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Clandestine Love

Rhysand x Reader

Summary: Anon Request: Can you do a fic where you and Rhys’s sister are best friends and Rhys wants you but you both know it’s a terrible idea but you do it anyway

Warnings: None

Word Count: 822

Notes: Wait because I kind of love these two...fkn hell 😮‍💨

_________________________________________

“Ara, wait up!” You screech, fisting your silky midnight blue skirts in your hands and taking off down the corridor after your friend, who’s cackling as she races towards the staircase.

The two of you had been granted permission from the Lady of Night to head out into the city in search of gowns for the upcoming Starfall party. You’d be accompanied of course by a few sentries, as your best friend – the daughter of the High Lord of the Night Court – wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without them.

You’d ditch the poor bastards assigned to tailing the two of you as soon as you arrived at the bustling streets of Velaris, you and Araphel would make sure of that.

Her head has just disappeared down the staircase when a hand shoots out from around the corner, grasping your arm and spinning you quickly into the warm, lean body of her older brother.

Rhysand.

Your heart races with excitement as he pulls you close, pressing you up against the wall behind. Your head is still dizzy from the twirl and when he settles a palm at the nape of your neck and stares down at you with those vibrant violet eyes, your mind clears, all his.

His other hand settles on your hip as he cranes down to nose at your throat, breathing in the night-kissed scent of your skin like a drug he’s been deprived of for centuries.

“Rhys,” you gasp softly, a warning, but it’s contradicted when you clutch at the lapels of his finely pressed jacket. “We can’t be doing this.”

“Relax, (Y/N),” he soothes, his lips against your neck sending shivers up your spine, “Ara is occupied with my father.”

You should be down there, getting the same lecture the both of you always have to endure before you go out into town alone. Stick with your chaperones, do not wander from the city, and always–

“Are you going to pick me out something nice?” the lordling purrs, tongue lapping at your creamy skin. Your hand snakes up the expensive fabric of his suit and slides around the nape of his neck so you can finger through the inky black tendrils of his hair.

You scoff, pinching at the skin on the base of his head playfully, “Not every female is vying for your attention or affections, Rhysand.”

The handsome heir hums in response, clearly amused. “You come in here looking like this,” he mouths over the tops of your exposed breasts and it takes all of your self control not to release the debauched noise that's working its way up your throat. “How can I not think that you’re trying to gain my attention?”

“I know it’s hard for you young males to keep your hands to yourselves and your cocks in your trousers,” you start and he groans. He’ll never forgive his sister for telling you about what he and his brothers would occasionally get up to with the females at the Illyrian camps, “But I have more posie than that.”

“Say cock again,” he begs, hands skimming down your body, thumbs brushing over the peaks of your nipples, eliciting a breathy gasp from you. The cheeky lordling tries to hike up the bottom of your dress but little sisters always ruin everything–

“(Y/N)?” Ara yells, voice carrying loudly through the otherwise empty halls.

“Coming,” you call over Rhys’ shoulder, tightening your hold on him slightly, unconsciously. You give him an apologetic look as he straightens to his full height, lifting your chin to gaze up at him. He looks disappointed, and although the both of you had agreed to be strictly friends, there was something between the two of you that couldn’t keep you away from each other.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur and he shakes his head, thumbing across your cheek.

“Don’t be. I’ve just missed you is all.”

“Maybe when I’m done picking out my Starfall dress and Ara has fallen asleep I’ll come give your cock my attention,” you suggest, lips ghosting across his own. You emphasize your words with a sneaky caress to his frontside, Rhys’ breath catching in his throat as his mulberry eyes widen, and then darken.

You try to slip away, wanting to leave him teeming with pleasure. It will make tonight so much better, but he catches you by the neck, twisting you around and pressing his lips against yours in a hot kiss that leaves your mouth tingling and your legs clenched tightly together.

“That better be a promise, (Y/N),” he smirks, finally backing off a step from you, leaving the feeling of his fingers buzzing on your skin, electricity in your bones.

“I suppose you’ll have to find out,” you respond with a cutting smile all your own. Rhysands eyes twinkle with excitement, and the agreement goes unspoken as Araphel meets you on the landing, her brother winnowing away into shadows and darkness.

#rhys x reader #rhys/reader #rhysand #rhysand/reader #rhysand x reader #acotar #acomaf #acowar #azsazz

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wazzappp · 2 days

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ALRIGHT WE BALL. Time to get on with the story (i have a story planned thats. a real shocker. im ass at writing but ill get this drawn damnit I promise)

This argument is one that just needed to happen. Robbie cant think of the infected he's been killing as people because that would mean he has killed a truly UNCOUNTABLE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE. Lisa has done what she has to in order to survive, and that includes killing the un-infected (which, of course, to Robbie is totally unacceptable). So when he's trying to explain the difference it just comes across JUDGY AS HELL. They're both proud and defensive and bad communicators and the conversation goes BADLY.

This happens while they're on their way to the Beneviento house. Lisa basically goes 'Alright if youre so high and mighty go ahead and beat this one yourself then!' and fucks off back to Duke with the intention to kill as many Lycans in the way as physically possible. Robbie goes ahead to the SPOOKY NIGHTMARE HOUSE trust me I have plans for what he sees in there and its appropriately disturbing but it also spoils the ending I have planned for this whole thing so :) hang in there.

BUT he ends up having a BAD TIME when he's trying to head back and what @rokhal suggested slotted in SO VERY NICE HERE (i feel i have sufficiently LOST MY MIND over the fic you posted i am JKSL:FJSDFDS F UCk)

'Picturing Robbie alone in the Village foraging for gunpowder and cash (because it's a Video Game and they can't just hang out in Donna Benaviento's house throwing the creepy dolls in the river while waiting for rescue after reconnecting the phone lines, no, they have to wander around the entire map) and he's saving the herbs for Gabe and using all the chem fluid for sniper rifle ammo or whatever. And he's fighting off werewolves and it's fine because apparently his health regenerates like mana because he's made of mold.

But as he's wandering around it starts to get harder and harder to remember how much cash and scrap he needs. And he keeps missing shots. And then he gets a little turned around but now he's lost and there's more fkn werewolves, and he's seriously low on ammo and he just wants to get back to Gabe, but he needs to regroup and his hands are numb so he tries to warm them at one of the villager's stoves.

And then he discovers that he's slowly turning into a mindless mold creature, and realizes that the only way to keep Gabe safe from him is to get really really really lost, so lost he'll never find his way back before something kills and eats him.

This does not work, but it does ensure that he is incoherent and barely recognizable by the time Gabe and Lisa track him down.'

Which is all MWAH. CHEFS KISS.

Anyway Robbie is gone for a WHILE and Lisa realizes that the puzzles she needs to solve to move the fuck on require 2 people so she's stuck killing any lycans that stray too close to Dukes camp and hanging out with Gabe. UNTIL, of course, Gabe decides yeah no fuck this fuck that Robbie has been away for WAY to long and I'm going after him. Only problem is that Gabe's abilities are kinda rooted too wherever his sclerotia pods (is adding pods to that redundant? whatever we ball) have had enough time to take root and grow. Meaning, despite her anger towards Robbie at the moment, if Lisa doesen't want Gabe caught, dragged to Mother Miranda and dismembered, she's gotta go with him (also featuring @moosemonstrous hilarious idea of her being proud of Gabe's attempted intimidation).

When they DO track him down he's barely awake. He keeps wandering in one direction then looks like he wants to turn around and go another but he keeps FORCING HIMSELF to go the other way (generally I think he would be a decent bit stronger, but fighting his instincts this hard make him seem more aimless. Robbie is borderline unstoppable when trying to get to his brother, but right now he's NOT trying to get to his brother. you feel me?). Lisa goes up first to make sure he's not going to lose his shit or something. He basically falls onto her with the single saddest "m'sorry" ever heard on planet Earth. If it's for FALLING on her or if its for the CONVERSATION earlier, Lisa isn't quite sure. But it's been years since anyone has apologized to her for anything and thats enough for her to decide she should at least sling him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes back to Dukes camp.

They make it back to the Dukes camp and give Robbie a couple of med kits (GOOP JUICE!!!!!) and he's a little more coherent. He's still trying to stay away from Gabe even though everything in him is saying 'STAY CLOSE' but he's got SOME brain space available because at least he's in line of sight now. Scrambled brain time is not the BEST for trying at an apology but hey, Robbie isn't really known for his great ideas and he tries anyway.

(ft me being unwell about shoving them together)

They're on better terms after this. The communication is still weird but hey its them so everything is weird. Plus they get some extra bonding time because I also snatched rokhals OTHER suggestion of

'....Been thinking maybe The Duke has a recipe that would heal Robbie...requiring meat from a golden dancing fish and the breast of the blue bird that haunts the graveyard and the tenderloin of the magnificent boar that sires all the swine in the Village...or something. So Gabe and Lisa have to go hunting while keeping Robbie calm...'

Ah yes. the high end flesh of the Great Village Fuck Boar. Delightful.

Cause I mean he's BETTER but still not GREAT. I think now that he's with Gabe he would be unable to leave him again while like this. Gabe would HAVE to go with them (we can get >:] 'Robbie goes into an overprotective frenzy and sword hands himself to hack some poor lycan that got too close in half' its a good time [its not. sword hand is very disturbing to him])

So anyway what Im TRYING to say is that the brainworms will continue

#I also :) found a way to fit :) side-of-face-splitting-into-horror to fit into the actual story :) aha. ahahaha.#ghost rider re7 au #my art #sketch #this took. a while lol.#what he sees in the Beneviento house is gonna be so fun to show you guys I promise its a terrible good time #we just need to get to the end of the story first to get there i dont wanna spoil design stuff >:]#RE!lisa #robbie reyes #gabe reyes

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cloverdaisies · 9 months

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hi.. please could you do a juyeon angst with the song nearly witches by panic at the disco i love your writing by the way, thanks

sending all my love ;)

🧸 - anon

NEARLY WITCHES ☆ L.JY

a lee juyeon angst ! only read if you would like to shed a tear or two ! f! reader !

# GHJH 🧸 anon you little gem, thank you so much! i love this song a lot as well i couldn’t believe my fkn eyes when i saw the request ! how do you know i liked p!atd ?? WHO ARE U ?? YOU ACC KNOW ME but sorry for the long wait! here it is <3 THE SENDING ALL MY LOVE?? MY SIGN OFF?! reveal yourself at once ?? who are you >:(

Ever since you’d met, he’d only shoot up with your perfume, it was the only thing that made him feel as good as you do. The sweet scent of vanilla, pine, sandal wood surfaced every sweet memory. The exact way the little things in life would bring the biggest smile to your face, holding hands walking through a local park lit up in a pinky-tangerine blend from the sunset. Watching as you giggled when a small butterfly landed on the tip of your little nose lightly blowing it off with loving laughter. Or how you'd huff and puff in little fits of cute frustration when things didn't go your way, because there sure was one thing, you never admitted when you were wrong.

After what seemed like heaven, a relationship gifted to you by god's most important angels, things soon turned into glamorous hell. You two fought over trivial things like money, who is cheating on who, where the fuck had he put your car keys. Arguments soon outweighed the bliss, going to sleep on separate sides of the bed and failing to whisper goodnight to each other. The little actions, that made you leave him, forever.

A small envelope had been shoved through the metal slot of what used to be both Juyeon’s and yours home, but now it was just him the entire place was desolate. Like Jay Gatsby, the grand walls of his home were built entirely for you, his Daisy. Without you, between the polished spruce walls of your victorian style home, it was completely empty, eeringly quiet. He never let a spot of dust touch your paintings, inspecting them everyday knowing how hard you’d worked on him. The hole in his heart couldn’t bare to remove them, it was the only thing you’d left, along with a small bottle of your perfume which he sprayed when he felt he was the most lonely. The pain he felt without you, was unbearable, everyday he perfected his appearance hoping one day you’d show up at the door and return to his arms - but after 5 years, he decided there was no hope.

Juyeon reached to pick up the letter, immediately recognizing the handwriting on the front and scrambling to tear the envelope.

DEAR JUYEON LEE

you have been cordially invited to a night service to celebrate the wedding of:

(your name) & partner

at: oak tree hall, west avenue

date/time: Wednesday 17th January, 7:00pm

RSVP: 000-000-000

Immediately, he felt his heart shatter like fine glass, falling to his knees, with tears threatening to spill from his familiar cat-like brown eyes. Crumpling the page into a tight ball before booting it across the halls, landing with a light thump on the preserved wooden flooring.

You’d found someone knew, even worse, you’d been planning to marry someone that wasn’t him. He’d tried to do the same, but every woman that lied in his satin sheets were gone the next day because they could never compare to what you were, an angel sent especially for him - you were perfection in its finest form, everything he ever wanted and he still couldn’t give in after all these years. He only had one regret, and that was you. The love he felt for you, he would never feel again.

For days, Juyeon moped in your memories, finding a small scrapbook of yours that he’d kept neat ever since you’d left. With messy black hair laid between the pillows of the bed that once belonged to both of you, he flicked every page of photos that captured your happiest memories. With a bitter sigh, he reached to his night stand to grab that small bottle of perfume you’d left, which he used so sparingly to prolong its life. However, as he held the bottle up in front of his face and whined to himself when he saw that there was no more than a small drop left in the bottom of the glass container.

4:00pm, the miniature grandfather clock on his bedside chimed, it was Wednesday 17th January, while Juyeon refused to accept the invite you’d sent him, thinking it was above unordinary that you’d dare invite your ex to a wedding with your new partner, he was still in cahoots with his conscience on showing up.

He’d waited years to see you, despite the setting, it was his only chance to see you after all this time and perhaps maybe there was just one chance he could win you back, however he knew that was impossible, this was you showing him that you’d moved on, this was your spiteful move after all this time, the pain he caused you, you were giving back after years and yes it hurt him - like a shit load of bricks collapsing on him all at once, that was your intention, despite the fact you didn’t know that all he wanted was you, he waited all this time.

Juyeon couldn’t pass up on the chance to see you, for the first time in 5 years, probably the last time he’d see you in many to come. So he rose from the cream satin sheets of his grand bed and waltzed to the bathroom with a glint of ambition in his once dull eyes.

Showering, shaving the stubble he’d grown after days of not looking after himself so much since he knew you wouldn’t be visiting anytime soon. He neatly organized every strand of his hair to perfection before sighing and observing himself in mirror. A gorgeous man, he was, however over the years he was seeing that less and less, feeling more lonely and unwanted everyday which made him lose any sense of esteem he had left.

Juyeon had collected a huge wardrobe of clothes for himself, filled with neat shirts which the maid had ironed every day by his request, along with dresses for you which he’d bought in your size to surprise you with when you returned. Browsing each suit he owned, navy, maroon, pin stripe, grey, he eventually settled on a neat black suit he’d bought in case he ever had to attend something like a wedding - never guessing it would be yours. It had double rows of buttons and was paired with a long sleek black tie, the color complimented his every feature.

And by the time, he’d decided with himself it was around 6:20pm, he went to collect the chauffeur from his quarters and was met with a high look of confusion from the man when Juyeon had mentioned he needed to attend a wedding.

“Who’s wedding are you attending sir?” The chauffeur noisily asked from the front seat of the car, the sound of rain pattering on the metal roof drowning out his gruff voice.

“It will be (your name) and her new fella of sorts.” Juyeon attempted to separate his emotions from his speech, using a calm tone in order to avoid spitting the words from his lips.

“I’m so sorry sir, I thought one day she would return to you, not dare meet somebody new.” He replied with a saddened tone in his voice, attempting not to sound like he was sucking up to his employer in any way.

“Yeah, well I guess it’s life, people move on.” Juyeon grumbled closing off the conversation as they arrived outside Oak Tree Hall, the place you’d always decided you would be getting married. An old but grand building decorated in marble, surrounded by foliage and every kind of flower the earth has to gift.

Exiting the car and telling the chauffeur to come back at a certain time, Juyeon took a sharp breath of hesitance before taking another step towards the building. Guests spilling into the building from the ceremony which he wasn’t invited to, the chaos of jazz music sounding from every window that had been pushed out ever so slightly.

The bar was a disaster, with men and women queued chaotically trying to purchase an ounce of liquor. The dancefloor already full with people jovially swinging to the tunes in the background. To Juyeon, it was a huge mess and could never imagine this is what his own wedding would be like, he knew deep down that you probably thought that too. You were a character of elegance and class not whatever this disaster in front of him was.

He looked around for you, scanning the crowd with hopeful eyes until he saw the beautiful satin white gown fit for the most gorgeous bride trailing across the ground. You too were looking around over the crowd, as if you were trying to spot someone, he noticed how gorgeous your every feature still was, unchanged, his heart felt as if it was putting itself back together until he met your gaze. Your eyes landed on him, you couldn’t believe he was there, how badly you wanted him there, yet you thought he wouldn’t show. He looked the same, unchanged, he was gorgeous, his every feature still perfect. You wished you could run to him, you wished you could escape what you’d fallen into but you were frozen in time.

“My parents are over there darling, shall we go see them?” Your newly wed, pulled at your arm it wasn’t a question it was a demand and you were ripped from the gaze of your past lover.

Juyeon sighed to himself, however this seemed to bring him some clarity, you had moved on, now he can too, there was no way he would be getting you back and that was how he saw the close of your relationship together.

He sat down at one of the tables, where his allocated seat seemed to be, retrieving a glass of red from one of the servers waltzing the room.

He watched you greet each table, anticipating your arrival at his own, eventually you would be walking over slightly not managing in the little heels you’d worn. You smiled politely at him when you caught his eyes, he smiled back with no concern as the groom looked him up and down with slight jealousy in his eyes.

“Who’s this?”Your new partner asked, pointing towards Juyeon with a stern voice, noticeably irritated by his well kept demeanor and good looking features.

“This is Juyeon, an old school friend of mine!” You lied, Juyeon didn’t react physically but was confused with the false introduction, yet he went along with it nodding to your words.

“Congratulations.” Juyeon smiled, shaking his hand firmly, seemingly shutting the mouth of your partner with a polite yet passively aggressive interaction.

“Thank you.” Your partner smiled, looking behind him slightly to roll his eyes before snapping back to the conversation.

“Mày I have this dance?” Juyeon asked bravely as the song changed to a slower ballroom song, looking at your new husband for approval before he nodded and Juyeon took your hand.

His hand cupping yours, set sparks flying through your every vessel and his too, the shear feeling of his warm skin refreshed every memory. His scent was masculine, the same aftershave he’d always used overwhelming your every sense. You’d also always worn the same perfume, Juyeon being able to take in the scent as he closed into your neck, clasping one of your hands with his and placing another hand on your waist.

“Hello there, liar.” Juyeon spoke first, causing you to chuckle slightly as he’d always maintained the same humor over the years.

“I had to lie, if he knew I invited my ex he’d kill me.” You replied, with a sad laugh looking up at his concerned expression.

“He doesn’t need sorting out does he? He’s not hurting my sweetness is he?” He asked snidely, almost hissing out the words, the terms of endearment flipping your guts upside down in excitement.

“N-no, nothing like that he’s just a bit of a control freak. I love him though, it’s tolerable.” You replied, squeezing his shoulder in reassurance, unable to look at him as you think you may pass out if you did, due to his beautiful face and nature.

"That's not something you want to be saying about someone you've just married." He laughed, sending joy to your heart with the shear sound of voice.

"I guess not, is it?" You replied sarcastically, still not being able to look him in the eyes, as you swayed on the dancefloor.

As the both of you moved across the dancefloor, it was evident the song was coming to a close. It’s been years since you’ve felt the comfort of him, years since you’d felt this way. Finding the strength to look him in the eyes and almost melt into his touch. It was magical, the way he held you, the way he looked at you as if you were the only woman in the world.

"I've waited years for you." Juyeon replied shortly before going to speak again. " So if you change your mind you know where I am. Goodbye my sweetness."

With one last squeeze of your waist he let you go on the last string of the song, stunned for words, you wished you could run after him and kiss him until time ended, but your new husband had already whisked you away. Pulled away from what you didn't know you'd always wanted. You’d made a huge mistake, and as you watched Juyeon leave the room you couldn’t help but feel your heart break. Years were wasted with a man that could never make you feel the way he did, an unforgivable amount of time had passed and it was your fault. You’d put him through so much pain you wished you could take back, but you were trapped, it was too late.

It was too late for you both, hands in his pockets he walked out into the night, maybe one day you’d return, a singular tear fell from his eye. It was time to move on.

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