#but groupings fascinate me and you can almost always put characters in set groups

[goombasa]

Dungeon Meshi is Delicious~

My girlfriend and I have this ritual where, every night for dinner, we like to sit down together and watch a video while we eat. Most of the time it's a youtube video we both have an interest in, but every now and then we'll start or continue a series that we're both interested in. We sat down one night a week or so ago and watched the first couple of episodes of Dungeon Meshi, or Delicious in Dungeon.

And this almost never happens to me, but after learning that the manga the show was based on was finished, I felt compelled the binge all 97 chapters, and… my god, this story is so good and goofy and I love it so much.

Delicious in Dungeon is a comedy fantasy manga by Ryoko Kui, about an adventuring party delving into a dangerous dungeon to rescue their comrade who was swallowed by a red dragon. Along the way, in order to keep their strength up, they have to use the natural resources of the dungeon to survive, which involves cooking the monsters that they kill, much to the terror of some of the members of the crew. Meanwhile, while the main focus is on their adventure, everyone around them is constantly worrying about the politics of the dungeon, ownership of the land around it, and the fact that the dungeon itself seems to be getting more powerful as time passes.

This is a fantastic story, with the real highlight being the worldbuilding. Every question that I found myself asking over the course of the series had an answer, and it was always a good one. Characters make reference to dying, and that's because something in the dungeon makes it so that anyone who dies can be brought back to life so long as their body is in decent condition and their soul hasn't gone too far from said body. The layout of the dungeon has basically been thoroughly mapped, to the point where various merchants have set up shop on certain floors, or specialized delvers trade in goods unique to the dungeon. Even the way that the town built around the dungeon functions is talked about, what sort of needs a town has when its main function is to serve as a hub for adventurers looking to get as deep into the dungeon as possible.

And as the story goes on and we're introduced through dialogue and backstory to the world outside of dungeon delving, we're shown a world that has a very strict political structure and a lot of mistrust among its people, centered around, of all things, the various lifespans of each race. It's fascinating.

Enhancing it all are the characters who are all just… god, they are such lovable beans, I love them all. Even the assholes, because we see why they're assholes and most of the assholes have moments where they aren't assholes and it warms my heart to see. Laios is dense in a way that sets him apart from your usual Shonen hero as being unintelligent, instead just being really socially awkward and it is kind of endearing seeing him share his special interest with others who more often than not just see him as very strange and off putting. Marcille the mage of the group and also the one who complains the most about having to eat monsters. Unlike many other shows or stories where this trait might get old or annoying, she actually manages to remain pretty endearing all throughout, and probably gets the most character development in a party that stays pretty static through the whole adventure. That's not a knock, as they do change in subtle ways, but it isn't nearly as pronounced as you see in other stories. Chilchuck is a good example of this, as while he does open up a bit more and let's down his professional guard now and then, he mostly remains a pretty pragmatic and distant hired hand for the party, an interesting change-up for the Hobbit stand-ins who are usually portrayed as pretty adventurous or curious. And then there's Senshi. He's a dwarf and he practically lives in the dungeon, and is an experienced hunter, gardener, and chef, with unusually powerful cooking gear. He's an oddball, like Laios, and the two compliment each other well, and there are some great interplay between him and Marcille given his mistrust of magic.

And then there's the fact that almost every chapter, we get at least one amazing dish made with the remains of slain monsters, and while the Anime goes out of its way to make it look as appetizing as possible (as anime tends to do with food), the manga also has these beautifully rendered pictures of every meal, as well as a list of all the different ingredients used in its creation. It's truly lovely.

I don't want to spoil anything, but once the gang gets to their destination, the amount of twists and turns that the overarching plot takes is quite interesting, and I found myself just wondering HOW it was all going to shake out by the end of the tale. This is an amazingly fun series, and one that is well worth checking out. The anime, at the time I'm writing this, is still airing its first season, and I'm not sure how far into the story they'll make it by the end. I'm legitimately hoping that it gets enough seasons to cover the entire story, because dammit, it deserves it. They'd only need like… three, I think, it's not a super long manga. It's currently airing on Netflix. But if you would prefer to get the whole story now, the manga finished its run back last September, and all except the last two volumes have been released in English by Yen Press, with volume 13 set to release in March of 2024, and the last volume coming at an unspecified date after that (at the time of writing).

It's been a long time since I've felt the need to binge a manga after seeing even a little bit of the anime, so I really think this one is something special. And it's an original fantasy story too! I feel like it's getting harder to get good fantasy anime that isn't dressed up like an Isekai at this point, and this story does not disappointment.

Just make sure you have a snack on hand while reading or watching. It tends to make you really hungry, seeing what they cook up.

#Delicious in Dungeon #Read the Manga #Watch the Anime #It's a lot of fun #Lots of great Food Porn #Excellent World Building

[brambleandblood]

We Are Winged Things

An entry from Bramble Rose’s diary.

I remember the first thing I noticed about him: the way he shined. For someone named for a dense group of foliage, usually seen as an indistinguishable mass, Thicket is far from indistinguishable. Even before I loved him, I could pick him out amongst the crowd without issue. The air above the Plains could be clogged with Small Folk and my eyes would find the flutter of his wings as if everything cleared at once. His always fascinated me: they’re iridescent, like that of an earwig, rounded and catching the light like glass that had been stained with pigment.

Mine have always been a feathery set of wings, even now in their newer, sparser, and flashier form. Before the Fire, before my version of Burning, I had been told they looked akin to that of a grouse. I never minded, really: my wings never needed to be for show, and they were relatively quiet when I foraged. No reason to look at me, really.

But Thicket… He is beautiful in a way that made you keep looking, just like his wings. And he always looked right back, smiling, as if I were the one worth staring at out of the two of us. Even now, he stares unblinking, but I know for certain it’s a gaze always looking for me. He has eyes that are dark and warm like hollows in trees are. Safe, willing to let you climb in, curl up, stay for a while. That’s how I knew his Giant form had him: the eyes are identical, even if the rest looks different.

Isn’t that the funniest thing? If I hadn’t seen his eyes, Bigger Thicket would have never caught me in terms of similarity. The Thicket tucked away at home has far darker skin, deeper even than mine, hair most like his namesake at night. Perhaps his build is similar, and his Giant most certainly has the facial bone structure to rival his Small Folk’s… But I shouldn’t think on the similarities and changes too deeply. Thicket is Thicket, even as this Tristan. I just know he is.

And besides, how often do we even, in our Small Folk forms, change the way we appear? Granted, I was never particularly good at it; I worked more with the flora around us than I did on my own form. Thicket himself, when he was Small and active in that body, always did best with little constructs made of the air and dust around him. Lovely things, so accurate I nearly swore up and down they were as real as he was! Sometimes he would put on little plays with the “characters” made up of things almost like refracted light. Dancing in sunbeams and shimmering like star stuff… Always the sun and the stars, he and I. He was always so talented in reminding me of that.

That, and keeping the barriers up. I wondered, in the darkest times after the Fire and Burning, how long he tried to hold a barrier around our home before it fell through.

Oh, my Stars. I will never forgive myself for not being there, for not pulling up roots from the ground to shield us from the flame, for not throwing together poultices and pulling the smoke from your very bloodstream to keep you as you were. I was too far from you. And even as you are now, tall and forgetful, I am too far from you. If I had it my way I would never be more than a step from your side, but you have forgotten yourself. You live now with Giants that love to throw us Small Folk in clear jars and use us like light. I’ve seen pirates beat us broken to collect our dust and use it for a myriad of purposes.

Do you remember when Hook got a hold of Tinker Bell in the early days? How he spanked her and tried pooling her Flying Dust? I wonder if it would horrify you in the same way now. If perhaps seeing me bludgeoned for my Dust that can make skin stitch would jog forth your memories.

Perhaps I should stay a step from you always after all, even like this. Perhaps the pain would be worth it if I could see the recognition flood your familiar eyes once again.

We will get this sorted one day soon, my Stars. I thank the Dust in the air every day that your voice still keeps its hoe in my ears, just as you always have lodging in my heart. You yourself will find your place back in your original body soon enough. I just need to figure out how to do it. But I will, my Stars. That is a promise I will die keeping.

#pricked pages ;; diary entries #tw blood mention #tw death mention #tw death #tw physical abuse #tw physical abuse mention

[bonesloveeverandemilyanddavid]

Emily Deschanel doesn’t know why Hollywood has continued to tap her to play doctors, but she’s not about to start protesting now.

“I don’t know what screams ‘science’ about me, but I’ll take it,” she tells The Daily Beast’s Obsessed over Zoom with a laugh. “When I got the part on Bones, a friend of mine said, ‘Oh my gosh, that must be your dream role,’ knowing how much I loved learning about forensic science. … Science was my favorite subject when I was a kid, so I’m not going to argue with it. I enjoy it too.”

More than five years after wrapping up her 12-season run as forensic anthropologist Dr. Temperance Brennan on the beloved Fox procedural drama Bones, Deschanel has returned to television in Netflix’s Devil in Ohio, playing a hospital psychiatrist whose world is thrown into disarray when she decides to shelter a troubled teen escaping a satanic cult.

The role is a departure from the crime/procedural genre that has defined most of Deschanel’s career, which, after Bones, has included a guest spot as Nathan Fillion’s ex-wife in ABC’s The Rookie and a 12-episode arc as a recovering drug addict in TNT’s Animal Kingdom.

For Deschanel, things have a funny way of coming full circle. She first met Daria Polatin—the author, creator and showrunner of Devil in Ohio—in the mid-90s, when they were both studying acting at Boston University. They kept in touch after graduation but eventually lost contact, even if they continued to keep tabs on each other’s work from afar.

So when she was pitched the idea of starring in an eight-episode adaptation of Devil in Ohio last summer, Deschanel was intrigued both by the prospect of reuniting with her former college classmate and exploring what would compel her character, Dr. Suzanne Mathis, to commit “a huge ethical breach” with a patient named Mae (Madeleine Arthur) that puts the rest of her family at risk.

Margaret Qualley Is Phenomenal in Netflix’s ‘Maid’THE DAILY BEAST’S OBSESSEDKevin Fallon

“Suzanne has some things that happened in her past that make her more susceptible to wanting to save someone like Mae,” Deschanel explains. “I think investigating where Mae comes from all stems from Suzanne’s past and trauma that she experienced herself, and the fact that she never fully dealt with what she experienced. … It’s almost as if Suzanne is trying to save herself through Mae, save her younger self from what she [had once] experienced.”

Deschanel was always one of Polatin’s first picks to bring Suzanne to life. “Emily has incredible emotional and intellectual intelligence that she brings to her roles, in addition to warmth and depth,” Polatin says. “The character of Suzanne is a doctor, a mother, a daughter and a survivor. Emily’s talent and range as an actor allows her to be all these parts of Suzanne.”

Polatin, whose other screenwriting credits include Jack Ryan and Heels, first began working on Devil in Ohio eight years ago, after hearing the true story of a psychiatrist in the Buckeye State who once took in a devil-worshiping teen. “I was fascinated by the idea of someone trying to escape a cult,” says the author-turned-showrunner. “I also love the dynamics of micro-communities. How do other people influence the way we talk, dress, think? And when you’ve grown up in an insular community, can you ever escape your past?”

The insulated nature of Mae’s upbringing was of particular interest to Deschanel, who quips that she has “watched every documentary about cults” that she can find, because she finds the psychology of these groups “really fascinating.” For the show, Polatin and her writers’ room used countless hours of research to create their own cult—down to inventing their history and ideology—and even wrote a manifesto to give to their heads of department.

Even as a self-proclaimed skeptic who doesn’t believe in the devil, Deschanel couldn’t help but feel “creeped out a little bit on set.” The fictional cult is unique because “they don’t have to recruit new members,” she explains. “They just breed them. They just birth new members, so it makes it harder to get information on those types of cults … because they’re less integrated into our daily lives, even less than other cults. They really keep to themselves; they don’t have that outside interaction.”

Regular viewers of Deschanel’s work might notice that some mannerisms have carried over to her performance in Devil in Ohio from certain past characters. For instance, when her character says something assertive in a professional setting (à la Bones’ Dr. Brennan), she will often tip her head slightly to the left with big eyes, almost daring her counterpart to disagree with her in a non-combative way.

While she concedes that Dr. Mathis shares a few professional similarities with Dr. Brennan, Deschanel says she elected to play the former because she felt “different enough” from the latter. “Once you do one character that you’re known for, you’re going to be thought of in that way. I think there are probably actors who want to be considered as doctors and people don’t think of them as doctors, and now I want people to think of me as [something] different than a doctor.”

Nevertheless, in conversation, Deschanel lights up at the first mention of Bones, which she lovingly describes as “the show that launched a thousand friendships.”

For 12 years, the actress played television’s favorite forensic anthropologist, who teams up with FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth (David Boreanaz) to help the Bureau investigate homicides by identifying too-far-gone human remains. With her literal, empirical view of the world complementing his deeply emotive, instinctive nature, Brennan and Booth became one of television’s all-time slow-burn romantic couples—so much so that the actors playing them worked with an acting coach every weekend for the first six seasons to develop the characters’ will-they-or-won’t-they dynamic.

“I miss him so much. I text with him here and there, and it’s been a while since I’ve seen him.”

Deschanel thinks mutual respect on and off the screen was the key to building her partnership with Boreanaz, who taught her the importance of setting a tone on set as the lead of a show. “He always treated me as an equal. He was a big star [on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel], and I was coming from some indie films when we started doing the show, [but] he always treated me as if we were coming from the same place and with great respect, and we built a great friendship over time,” she says. “I miss him so much. I text with him here and there, and it’s been a while since I’ve seen him.”

What does she miss most about working with Boreanaz? “Our inside jokes,” Deschanel says before exclusively revealing one of their many inside jokes to The Daily Beast’s Obsessed. “He’d put a coffee stirrer inside the foam of the interrogation room,” she recalls with a laugh, “so that was always forever known as ‘coffee corner.’ There are just different things that are just really hard to translate … but I guess [I miss] laughing with him on set and him making fun of me maybe. I enjoyed it all.”

Apart from Boreanaz, Deschanel says she is still “texting with different Bones people every week.” She is still close with Michaela Conlin and Tamara Taylor (“We did some amazing cocktail Zooms during the pandemic, and we’re trying to get together,” she reveals with a smile), and recently caught up with a few of the actors who played a rotating group of interns at the fictional Jeffersonian Institute (Pej Vahdat, Eugene Byrd, Carla Gallo, Ignacio Serricchio). The former castmates continue to marvel at how Bones has, in the 17 years since the series premiere, inspired a generation of young women (and men!) to pursue a career in science.

“With Brennan, I never thought [the show] would last as long as it did,” Deschanel admits. “[But] I thought hard about what characters I was putting into people’s living rooms, and I thought about how young girls would be watching it. And being a feminist and always wanting to inspire girls, I loved the fact that the character was in STEM, was unapologetically a genius, and made more money than the men in her life and wasn’t going to bat an eyelash about it.”

Going forward, Deschanel’s professional plans are simple: She wants to tackle projects that will make audiences see her in a new light. “I’d love to do a comedy or two,” she says with a hearty laugh, “and play characters that are really different … so I’m not necessarily looking for anything in particular.”

(When asked if she would like to appear in Yellowjackets opposite her good friend Melanie Lynskey, whom she met on the set of Stephen King’s Rose Red, Deschanel hardly misses a beat: “I would love to work with Melanie! I’m just so excited for her, and it just feels like such a long time coming [that] people are really recognizing her talent. That makes me teary-eyed to think about.”)

Having also worked as a producer and director on Bones, Deschanel says she has been using those experiences to develop projects behind the camera—even if, she admits, producing takes a long time. “Without getting into specifics, a project that I’m trying to get off the ground is a story about a group of women fighting for freedom,” she adds. “I think there’s always going to be a feminist slant to things that I’m attracted to as well.”

https://www.thedailybeast.com/obsessed/spielbergs-the-fabelmans-is-a-sappy-ode-to-the-magic-of-cinema?ref=scroll

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

Wicked Dreams by Lisa Jackson and Nancy Bush

Wicked #5

 Twisted tale, torment, dysfunctional family, torture, fire, death and so much more were found in this, the probable finale, of a five-book series that began in 2009. That I had not read any of the previous books made this a hard and rather confusing slog as I tried to figure out who the characters were, how they were connected, and what was going on. Paranormal abilities ran in the Rutledge offspring but not having read the four previous books…even those were a bit hard to figure out.

 I have to say that the characters were difficult to warm to, the various segments of the story didn’t always seem to jive, I had trouble seeing what Nev and Ravinia would have in common if they do end up together, the baddies were rather horrible, and there were characters I needed to know more about.

 The part at the end of the book…two sections added on as almost addendums in a history of ‘the colony’ and a letter in a journal/diary did help put some pieces in order but…this was not my favorite book by this author, and I never hesitated to read her work.

 For me…this book didn’t work but my guess is that if someone has read and enjoyed the rest of the books in the series then this book will tie the series up in a big red bow.

 Thank you to NetGalley and Kensington Books for the ARC – This is my honest review.

 2-3 Stars

      BLURB

 The New York Times bestselling authors return with a chilling new thriller set on an isolated island off the Oregon coast. A group of women with extraordinary gifts will need to face evil…before it returns to burn their refuge to the ground. The note pinned to the dead body found on the remote beach has no name, just Ravinia Rutledge's phone number and the words "Next of Kin." Ravinia insists she doesn't recognize the man on the mortuary slab, but she suspects Detective Nev Rhodes doesn't believe her. He can tell that she's one of them--the Siren Song women. Five years after moving away from The Colony, Ravinia has carved out a life as a private investigator whose specialty is helping others locate their missing loved ones. Yet sometimes, it's better if the missing are never found. "Good Time Charlie" is the name given to a monster from her past, a man whom she and her sisters hoped was gone forever. But the dead man on the beach is a sign that Charlie has merely been waiting, preparing to fulfill his mission to rid the world of the Siren Song women--and anyone else who gets in his way. Rhodes has his own reasons for being fascinated with The Colony and its surroundings--a place marked by unexplained deaths and tragedies. Rhodes plays by the rules, but there are forces at work here that defy notions of law and order. And despite Ravinia's reluctance to team up with Nev, it's the only way to stop an adversary determined to see that each and every member of The Colony will die at his hands . . .

#Lisa Jackson #Nancy Bush #Wicked 5 #Kensington Books #NetGalley #Suspense #Paranormal #Fiction

[piccolina-mina]

The dynamics on this show are interesting, but I love how there are groupings because so many of them have such similarities. Objectively speaking, even characters you find unfavorable or unlikable are often in some way similar to characters you like. Like you have:

The Runners - Liz, Alex, and Rosa

Liz didn't used to be a runner which makes her so interesting. She said something broke in her after Rosa died and she was restless ever since. Running was something she resented in her mother and Rosa, but then she ended up doing the same thing. She and Alex, they're good at running towards things they can make sense of, concrete things, purpose: running towards science and achievement, war and battle, danger, but they run away from feelings.

Those are terrifying and harder to make sense of. Feelings and connections. In all of their relationships (friendships and romantic: Diego, Arturo, Maria, Michael), they always have one foot out of the door. It's not that they don't love someone or care, they show all of that in their own ways but it takes work for them to not bolt. They're fighting against their nature. It's survival and self- preservation. Rosa runs to escape too. Ironically, while the other two run for themselves, Rosa does too but also runs for everyone else. She thinks it's better to put a divide between her and the world.

The Internalizers - Kyle, Alex, and Max

This group, fks me up on a personal level because of this, but many of the characters have a bit of this quality, but these three really embody this to the hilt. But they all showcase it differently.

Kyle functions the best. He functions so well people don't even realise or consider he has problems. He's good at giving the illusion that he's sharing more than he really does, and he's great at coaxing other people to be more open, but he doesn't always practice what he preaches. He holds onto the past a lot in part because he doesn't want to repeat it. But that boy has internal battles, and no one really notices. The two people who do are Liz and Alex, but both are runners, and one is a heavy internalizer too.

Alex is one of those internalizers who feels everything but doesn't emote and show it. So he comes across like he's unfazed, but he keeps everything in. It's possible it's an effect of his abusive childhood. It's a conscience effort for him to express most feelings and he distributes them carefully and usually with specific intentions.

Max is the most emotionally open but he's the sort who internalizes blame like no other. It's actually funny that so many fans hate him because he would just take that totally accept it. He'll take blame for things whether it was his fault or not. Guilt eats away at him. He's the poster child for depression out of the three aliens. Hides his pain, sadness, most of his feelings that affect him and him alone, he buries.

The Caretakers - Maria and Kyle

They take care of people. Often at their own expense. There's a reason why Liz feels safe with Kyle, why Alex despite their history is less guarded with Kyle. There's a reason why Liz can confide in Maria. Why Michael responds to Maria, Why Max is at ease around Maria. Kyle and Maria are natural nurturers without even trying to be. They probably have the warmest vibes around them.

They make people gravitate to them with their personality and energy. They're the reason there are quotes about protecting your space, because they have a draw that the wrong people will siphon from at it can be at their own expense.

They take care of people, but they don't have people taking care of them often. They present themselves as if they don't need it. Kyle allows himself to be "a distraction" but also hints at wishing his needs were met too. Maria takes care of her mom without complaint but also doggedly pursues anything that can make her mom better because she misses her mom but she's also tired.

They're the emotional support characters everyone leans on. They tend to needs: physical, emotional, sxual, and mental.

*caveat. Max can also fall into this too. Some of his caretaking is out of guilt (Arturo) but he shows this most with his siblings. Later on with Liz. His entire life is the three of them. But it's limited. We saw that with how neglectful he was with Cam, how it doesn't extend to his mother etc.

The Fixers - Michael and Liz

This is probably why the Science Bros is so appealing even though Michael often treats Liz like trash. They're both highly intelligent, STEM geared, and born and bred fixers. If you have a problem, they can pull off some of the emotional labor (we see that with Liz and Maria when she's made aware and Liz and Isobel and Michael and Isobel and Michael and Maria), but they're fixers first and foremost.

That's why they work so well together and probably will be at the forefront of getting Max back if Michael can keep it together. Michael is the most literal fixer. A handy man and mechanic, the go to for any fix. He's not calculated though. He's impulsive and wants immediacy. He jumps into the first solution he wants it fixed now.

Liz wants it fixed right. She weighs the options and has to figure out the best solution. So they're so similar in that regard but still clash. But that's how they both end up dragged to a healer in the desert. Do they believe it? No. But a fix is a fix.

The Moral Compasses/Arbiters - Kyle, Liz, Cam

Kyle and Liz are definitely the moral compasses of the gang. They're balanced and fair. They run on both logic and emotion effectively. When one threatens to supersede the other, they catch it and correct it. They're driven by what's right. They're moral and conscientious. You can trust that they're always pointed at due north. They have codes they live by. Affirmations.

Cam is like this too. It's interesting how she was set up to be an antagonist, but what's right was prioritized over personal gain. She didn't compromise her ethics even for her sister. She lost her job doing what was right at her own expense.

The Masked Posers - Isobel and Alex

Posers isn't meant negatively, but I couldn't think of a better way to word it. Just FYI.

These two spend so much time hiding behind a carefully crafted facade and mask that sometimes they lose sight of themselves. They both ended the season having to meet themselves in the mirror. Alex is tapping back into who he was (that leather jacket 😍) and Isobel has to figure out who she is outside of Noah and Max.

They're shackled by image and projecting specific ones. But their masks crack and you see bits of what's behind them. They have the most prominent and consistent identity issues.

The Survivors/Outlaws/Rebels - Michael, Maria, Rosa

They're all survivors in their own way, but these three have a very distinctive style. Virtual outcasts of the town. Who they were was decided by outsiders whether they fit the profile or not.

They do what they have to do to survive, and they don't compromise or make apologies for it. They are who they are and they own it.

They're the ones who are inclined to break the rules or laws. Michael and Maria are both hustlers who do what they need to in order to make ends meet. Rosa self-medicated to survive. Michael is the known troublemaker and rabble rouser, Rosa is the town pariah and stain, Maria is the weirdo.

The Protectors - Michael, Max

The brothers probably clash so much because they'll both do whatever it takes to protect their people, but they don't always agree on how to do that. They will fight for you if they care.

Max can extend this farther and does since he's a cop. Michael protects the people he cares about and doesn't give a damn about anyone else. That circle is very small. So far, he protects Isobel, Max, Alex, and Maria. That's it.

The Riders - Michael, Maria, Cam

They are ride or die for their people. No questions asked. Even if you're fking up. They'll bitch but have your back. They will ride shotgun to your crazy every time.

Michael visibly didn't agree with things Isobel did or suggested and verbally and physically disagreed with Max a lot, but he'll still ride with you until the wheels fall off.

Maria endlessly supports and held a decade long grudge on Rosa's behalf. Knew a lot about Rosa and how troubled she was but was her ride or die anyway.

Cam knew Max was lying to her and put up with a lot, but she had his back the whole time.

#anyway I just thought that was interesting #roswell new mexico #kyle valenti #maria deluca #liz ortecho #rosa ortecho #I'm sorry that person most people hate is clogging up the tag with random posts but no worries I think I'm done for now 😊 #Roswell nm angst hours #my babies i still left some out tbh #but groupings fascinate me and you can almost always put characters in set groups

[portfolio-of-dreams]

like i want you | part three. (3.3k words)

warnings: minors dni!! nsfw 18+ characters aged up, hurt to comfort, soft sex, fingering & oral (f! receiving), light cursing, cum swallowing, crying, cream pie, use of name princess & good girl/pretty girl.

a/n: reminder this is Mitsuya's POV <3

.

“But if you really love me, say it now. Why is it so hard to figure out? I need you every day, believe me when I say it”

The night was silent, and the roads empty even though it wasn’t that late. The only sound that could be heard was the humming of the motorcycle as it drove. The desolate streets of the city rested in silence as the starry black sky was illuminated by the crescent moon. The dips in the road, some wet from nighttime sprinklers, shimmered against the dim glow of the streetlamps. Above a faded crosswalk, a traffic light blinked in gold hues. Buildings of all shapes and sizes lined the streets and sidewalks, some windows lined in a dim light while others were pitch black.

I glanced up briefly as clouds gathered in stoic groups in fascination with the moon. Wrapping themselves around it in an attempt to suffocate the gleam, but the incandescent burn passed through them, coloring them white from gray. I felt you press your cheek hard into my back as dampness seeped through my clothing. Please don’t cry, I’m right here. We slowly took a turn around a sharp bend in the road, the bike slightly falling to the left as you held on to me tightly. Everything was going to be alright, I have you, you're safe with me. The gentle night rested in an almost lifeless silence as I slowed to stop in front of my house. You stayed there, unmoving, seated on the back of my motorcycle, fingers entwined around my waist and your face pressed into my back. I didn’t move you, I let you stay. I held the bike up with my legs, feet planted on the ground on either side. I put one hand over your two and melted into your touch, sharing your breathing for a few minutes before speaking.

“Do you want me to walk you home or do you wanna stay over for a while? I’m okay with whatever you choose.” I felt your body twitch, maybe in fear of going home, but I awaited your reply.

“I- ‘Suya, please. I don’t wanna go home. I don’t wanna be alone.” You removed your hands from my torso and moved them in front of you, bunching up the back hem of my shirt in your palms.

“You can stay with me princess. It’s okay, I’m here for you.”

I got off the bike and kicked up the kickstand to hold it steady as I picked you up off the seat. I carried you to the front door as I fumbled with the keys that jingled when I pulled them out of my pocket. You giggled, that was the first time I’ve heard you or seen you smile in a few hours. I set you down on the couch and kneeled in front you.

“Do you want me to start a bath for you? Or do you just wanna go lay down?” I watched you as you played with your rings, twirling and spinning them around on your fingers.

“I guess I could go for a bath, I’m a little cold. So, it would help, right?” I smiled at you and stood up, heading for the bathroom.

I started the water, setting it to a pretty warm setting and found the lavender bubble bath that you always liked to steal when you came over. The scent fit you so well- soft and relaxing, just like your presence. Once the tub filled about halfway, I put in a cup of the light purple soap and walked to get you from the living room. But you weren't on the couch, I checked the kitchen, but you weren't there either. I went back to my room to find you curled up on the bed, shaking and crying through the pillow you buried your face in. I hated seeing you like this; you didn’t deserve to feel this way. I promise I’ll show you how you're supposed to be treated tonight, if you’ll allow me. I walked over to you, gentle steps towards your figure like walking on shards of glass. Ghosted fingertips along your spine, scared to startle you or make you shy away from my touch. I want you to see you, how I do, in a blissful serendipity. Running so gracefully through a field of sunflowers, searching for the perfect one, twenty-six petals all touched by drops of sunlight that gleamed in the presence of you. You are the perfect one, though, I can see it so clearly. I hope one day you will too.

Turning your body and lifting you off the pillow so your face was cupped in my hands, I looked into your eyes, so beautiful, the perfect shade of color even when glossed over and red highlighted the white of your eye. “Your bath is ready, and I put the bubbles in, just the way you like it.” You nodded at me, as if it was the only thing, you had the energy to do.

You carefully stood, stopping at the edge of the bed to balance yourself, and headed to the bathroom. You stopped in the doorway and looked at me, “Can- can you sit with me ‘Suya?” - your face flushed at the comment- “but wait for me to get in! I’ll- call you over soon, okay?”

I felt my cheeks turn hot just at the thought, such an intimate moment with you. Are you sure? Is this okay? We’ve never had a moment like this. A million questions ran through my mind. I softly nodded towards you as you closed the door but didn’t click it shut. After a few minutes, I heard you sigh as you relaxed in the warm water, and you called my name so sweet, like sugar on top of strawberries. I treaded lightly on the floors, subtly knocking on the door before opening it. Your head was resting on your arms, propped up on the side of the tub, as pieces of your hair fell out of your messy bun and framed your face. You looked so sad. I wish I could take away all the hurt in your heart and catapult it into the sun, denigrating it into something non-existent. I sat on the lid of the toilet beside you and brushed the stray hair out of your face. The back of my fingers brushed against your cheek, and you visibly shuddered. This intimate moment with you, this memory, I will cherish as it grows roots into my mind and blooms inside my heart. Your eyes were closed but I knew they were shining once they fluttered open.

“I’ll stay as long as you want and then I’ll set up the bed for you and I’ll sleep on the couch.” Your hand left the water, ripping around the quick movement as small droplets fell from your wrist and onto the floor as you took my hand in yours.

“Can you maybe stay in bed with me? I really don’t want to be alone.” You looked up at me, eyes screaming for help.

I felt goosebumps line my skin and the hairs on my neck stand stark. I tried to be calm as I answered your concern. “If that’s what you want then of course I’ll stay with you y/n. I always will.” I felt you sigh in relief as you brought my hand to your cheek and ran my fingers across your skin.

My imagination ran free, like wild horses running along a deserted beach unknown to the population. I’d give up anything to show you how much you mean to me, to show you your worth, to give you sensual touches that ignite your senses and send shivers down to your toes. To kiss you so passionately that you melt into me. The colors of our love mixing into something so obscene yet bewitching- we’d be made for one another. Dancing and moving in perfect sync to a song only we could hear. Without any warning, you stood up, bubbles falling along your curves- running under the dip in your breasts, sliding and conforming to your waist and hips. The stream slowed and they popped and subsided as my eyes traveled down to your sweet core. My mouth dropped open, and I realized I was staring, quickly averting my eyes and standing to turn around and leave. I heard your sharp inhale as you stumbled out of the tub, grabbing at the hem on my shirt and slightly tugging.

“Takashi, why can’t you see- it's always been you.”

I turned my head just over my shoulder to see you pulling my white t-shirt, head hanging low as water pooled around your feet. Did you just say, it was me? You wanted me, after all this time? I’m so confused but god- it is and always will be you, for me. I didn’t hesitate to turn around, feel your soft skin in my hands, a slow smolder growing into a flame, and I kissed you. Soft and passionate, delicate because you are the most precious thing to me. Hands trailing up your naked figure, stopping to hold your jaw and your hands roamed around my waist, fingertips trailing up my spine and clutching the ends of my hair. My clothes were getting damp against your wet skin. All my thoughts were once black and white, sewing themselves into shades of gray but this feeling of my lips on yours, French lavender filling my senses, creating a world in purples and greens, technicolor like it was never before. I picked you up, swiftly and effortlessly, setting you on the marbled bathroom counter. Separating for a second, only a trail of saliva in the wake of our lips, as I discarded my shirt to the floor.

I feel you melt into the kiss when I place my lips back on yours. Your hands roamed the skin on my back and soothed circles along my spine. If I could, I’d line the bed in rose petals and softly cherish every curve, every dimple, every piece of you. I’d hold you delicately, like you were porcelain, but I couldn’t wait to stretch you open, bloom you like a flower on the first day of Spring, fuck you deep and slow into the soft mattress, whisper in your ear how good it felt to be inside you. I held you close as you wrapped your legs around my torso, and I carried you to the bedroom. Slowly setting you down onto the sheets as I toss the damp towel you used to hold your hair over the chair at my desk.

“God, you’re so beautiful.”

I whispered against the skin in the curve of your neck as steady kisses trailed from your cheek to your collarbone. Your hands found themselves in my hair, pulling the ends just enough to make me groan. You sat up for a second but allowed me to work my lips down. I’ve dreamed of this moment but never thought it would be a reality. I love you. I love you. I can’t tell you yet though. My tongue finds its way to your right nipple, swirling it around, barely applying any pressure at all. The lack of feeling makes you want to squirm underneath me, but I’m biding my time in tasting your perked up nipples, cherishing the way they harden when saliva falls around your breast. I kiss the valley between them and move the left, giving it the same attention as your other. I want to make you feel good, feel loved. I move my hands, admiring the curves on your waist, following them down with ghosted fingertips.

“Can I have you tonight? Is this what you want?” You looked up at me through dark lashes and doe eyes, nodding.

I hunch down to kiss you again, our tongues tango together, twirling in a hurried rhythm as I remove the rest of my clothing and press my growing hard cock against your bare pussy, grinding and tempting you to arch your back to feel more. I hear you whimper under my touch, silently begging. Moving my hands to the insides of your knees, cupping and pushing them to spread your thighs apart. A rush of cool air blows at your naked cunt, making you shrivel in anticipation. Anticipation that’s soon surrendered when I dive into your sweet cunt, giving your slit one long lick that halts right onto your clit. I hear your breath hitch, caught in your throat in pleasure, as I continue to lap at your growing arousal. You plant your elbows onto the bed to watch, as I smirk up at you, tongue out, looking with undeniable mischief. You knot your fingers through my lavender tresses, that are falling low and tickling the inside of your thighs. I see you bite your lower lip while watching me lick softly onto your pussy like the world’s ending and this is our one and only time together like this.

My tongue hit a bundle of nerves; I can tell as you jerk your hips. I grip them, not harsh enough to leave a mark, and push them back down again into the mattress, lapping at that same spot that has your thighs trembling. I move a finger to your core, circling the entrance before slipping inside your hot walls. Moving at a teasingly slow pace, allowing you to grow inpatient at my lack of movement. Your move at my finger as you attempt to quicken the pace.

“Please, y/n. I don’t want to fuck you. I want to make love to you. Show you how long I’ve wanted this. Innocently spread you open like a blooming tulip. I want to cherish you tonight.”

You halt your movements, “I will, I promise. I- I’ve been wanting this too, ya know?”

I stop in amazement. You’ve wanted me too? After a few seconds, I start to move my finger again, adding another into your wetness, slowly and unwavering, as you adjust to the new sensation. I hope I make your mind refuse to think about anything other than this self-gratifying experience, letting your mind grow hazy around the thought of me alone. I pick up the pace slightly, fingers slipping inside and out of you as I lean back down to suck on your now puffy clit. Fuck- you taste so good. I could do this every day if you’d allow me. You moan so beautifully as your thighs begin to tremble and you're pulling my hair a little harder than before. Which makes me shiver and go faster- you’re close.

“Cum for me, pretty girl. Let me taste you completely.” I breathe over your wet pussy as your walls clench around my fingers.

I feel your walls tighten, cum dripping down to my wrist as your climax hits and shakes your body like an earthquake. I don’t stop my fingers for a few more seconds, ensuring you’ve finished. I take my fingers out and lift my head, your arousal coating my chin in a stunning opalescent shine. I used my wet hand to pump my cock a few times, though already dripping with precum. I position myself between your legs, lining myself up with your entrance as I stare into those eyes, glimmering in the most beautiful hue as you nod your head to say that you’re ready.

“Let me know if it hurts, or if it's too much.” I speak as you nod your head again.

I push the tip in, moaning at the sensation of your damp pussy. You gulp a few times, breath heavy. Seeing my length in full display right before your eyes. I would say I’m pretty average, and the girth is more than enough to stuff you full. Veins caressing the underside, from the base to the pink tip, adding to the erotic feeling. I plant my hands on either side of your head, never breaking eye contact with you, as I start to thrust softly. The only sounds echoing through the silent room are our moans, melting into one another, and the squelching of your sex. It feels so good, you feel so good. Your walls adjusting and molding to my length as if I was made for you, and you for I. I feel you reposition yourself under me, signaling that it’s okay. My thrusts gain speed, hips clashing with yours as I lean down to your ear, hot breath fanning out the skin.

“Fuck princess, you feel so good. You’re doing so good for me. Fuck, I love you.”

I try to keep my slower pace but after I realized what I said, you didn’t push me away. You grabbed onto me- hands pulling my face towards yours, planting your lips on mine. Your legs once again wrapping around my torso as I bury my cock deeper inside you, hitting the spot that makes you scream my name. I hope the neighbors hear- it’s me, just me making you feel this way, feel this good. I could listen to your sounds forever, every day and never grow weary of them. Even after memorizing the way you stop your inhale when you moan my name. I am indubitably yours as you consume me in this moment. Warm skin as mine burns for your touch, flushed cheeks as sweat begins to trickle along my forehead, and eyes full of lust only for each other. I feel my head spin and haze over as I grow close to my climax.

“‘S-’Suya, fuck, I’m close again, please, please make me cum.” you could barely utter the words as your voice shook.

I feel my cock tingle and twitch against your walls as I start to slam into you, chasing my high, as well as yours. Mouth hanging open with our chests rising and falling in a frenetic rhythm, ready to explode. I feel the walls of your pretty pussy crush and gush around me as you hit your orgasm. Body shaking, tears of pleasure and lust line your lashes; You look so pretty like that. I surrender my all to you, an earth-shattering orgasm fills you up, painting you in blazing white as it sticks to your cunt. That exact same moment that I’ve heard my name spill like a prayer from your mouth, it feels real. The beating of my heart, synchronizing with yours. I slow my pace to an almost stop, but don’t want to leave you yet, and carefully wipe the tears from your eyes that threaten to spill. I stay there for a moment, feeling your warmth and looking at you so loving- the only way I know how. I plant a soft kiss to your lips before collapsing beside you and pulling your body close. I hope you can feel how much I care for you. How much I love you- are in love with you. Our love story wasn’t supposed to go like this, but I wouldn’t change a thing because I still got you in the end. The outcome I could only fantasize about before now.

“Hey, ‘Suya. I love you too.” You whisper as you bury your face into my chest. All I can do is smile- the words I’ve waited to hear steady my heartbeat and find themselves filling my veins, my bones, my world. You are my world.

Our bodies are flushed against each other, as if to collide anytime. Mind, body, and soul. You are lying next to me, like puzzle pieces entwined in the most perfect fit. My left arm underneath your head and my right hand in the small of your back as you snuggle into me. My thoughts are a jumbled mess, how did we get here? Your eyes are closed and your breathing soft, delicate almost, as your lips are brushing against my shoulder every time you exhale. Your heartbeat is melting into mine- you are my fire in my subzero arctic world. I promise I’ll never let you go, never take you for granted, and always fall in love with you more every day. You are really easy to love.

.

© please do not post my work anywhere. <3

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tagging: @bxnten @spookydraken @crybabylisa @kennyb0y @chifuyuslilkitten @chaoticyuna @sugusshi @devinsdaydream @mortuary-ossuary

#portfolio of dreams #easy to love #tokyo revengers #mitsuya takashi #takashi mitsuya #tokyorev mitsuya #mitsuya x you #mitsuya x reader #mitsuya smut #mitsuya scenarios #tokyo revengers smut #tokyorev smut

[interact-if]

Day 2 of Pride Month interviews! You know them, you love them…. give it up for Ames!

Ames, author of Attollo and Metamorphosis

Pride Month Featured Authors

“…and it was a singular, terrible thought, which burrowed itself into your mind like an engorged maggot. This was not a man nor a monster. This was a concept, an ideology, a terrible myth, which had personified itself to stand before you now.You were, to put it simply, screwed.”

After several years of radio silence, you receive a message from your younger sibling that carries a strange sense of urgency to it. Either out of familial concern or boredom, you embark on a journey from your residence to your sibling’s apartment in New Hampshire to see what’s going on and, hopefully, be home before the weekend.

Too bad it’s never so simple.

Demo: Attollo, Metamorphosis (TBA)

Tags: cybernoir, thriller

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

Q1: Tell us a little bit about your project(s)!

Attollo is a cyber-noir horror set in a walled city off the coast of the Atlantic that’s been a victim of a nuclear disaster. After several years of radio silence, you receive a message from your younger sibling that carries a strange sense of urgency to it. Either out of familial concern or boredom, you embark on a journey from your residence to your sibling’s apartment in New Hampshire to see what’s going on and, hopefully, be home before the weekend. Too bad it’s never so simple. Attollo is a 17+ game that deals with heavy topics and a lot of moral questioning; from cults to corrupt government, it has no shortage of monsters in the dark—both metaphorical and literal.

Metamorphosis is a crime/horror story based in the world of crime scene cleanup, where there are three simple steps: Get the call, clean the scene, and don’t ask too many questions. These are the rules that you live by under the employment of Noctua’s Crime Scene Services, and you credit them for keeping you alive.

However, after a routine house call brings forth nightmares of memories that are not your own, you find yourself pulled deeper into Noctua—a city of both monster and man—in a bid to find out the truth behind the murder of Deirdre Callow, and better yet, how her memories came to be yours. Your job mandates that you don’t dig too deep—but could this finally be the exception?

Metamorphosis is 18+ and will have explicit content; follow the last moments of a stranger to find out not only who took her life, but how this connects to the underbelly that Noctua works so hard to hide.

Q2: Why interactive fiction? What drew you to the medium?

Lmaoo, oh man. I think it really all began last summer when I first found examples of interactive fiction. I don’t even remember how I came across it, it might’ve been that I saw it mentioned in a post or I saw it as a tag on Itch.io, but at some point, last summer I began to investigate it more. I think what really drew me in was the ability for the player to control the narrative; it was like playing an old RPG, but modernized, and the fact that I could see a story unfold that was influenced by my decisions was so fascinating to me. Not to mention that IF allows so much more character depth than regular novels, in my opinion.

I’m 99% sure my first exposure to interactive fiction was through the game Crème de la Crème (a fantastic game, by the way) and I just enjoyed it so much that I went haywire for the genre. Then Temple of the Endless Night came out (another fantastic game that I’m looking forward to!), and that was really the turning point for inspiring me to give it a go. Now, almost a year later, here I am working on my own two games!

Q3: Are your characters influenced by your identity? How?

My bisexuality doesn’t have much of a major influence on the game, but I do think it contributed to the way that I view and write relationships. I figured out my sexuality around high school (I kissed a girl in high school and found out I liked it just as much as when I kissed a boy) and since then I’ve been very involved in the LGBTQ+ community of both my hometown and uni town.

I think this involvement, like being able to hear about other people’s experiences and share my own, has made me feel a lot more comfortable writing some of the characters in the game. Although Attollo and Metamorphosis both don’t focus heavily on relationships (both have murder in them, which I feel is a bit more pressing), I do keep the option for any RO’s to be romanced by anyone, regardless of gender or preference, because that’s simply what I’ve become so attuned to. In terms of side characters relationships as well, I think my involvement and my own experiences have allowed me to write far more diverse relationships than I might have, and I think that this has also allowed a more fulfilling experience for players when reading through.

I also have incorporated some struggles that I’ve faced before because of my identity into the games. For example, I and a few others have faced issues with religion due to who we are, and I incorporate this into both games. Dreamwalker, Pariah, and Sysba from Attollo all have shadows of this experience in their character origins, and Ilali and Ariston from Metamorphosis has a major point involving identity and beliefs. Both games also have undertows of ostracization and division between groups, which is also something I’ve experienced in the past. Being able to grapple these moments and control them via a narrative has been eye opening for both myself and others involved, and I’m hoping it can be a learning experience for the readers as well.

Q4: What would you like to see more of in LGBT+ fiction?

I think, now, the amount of progress in LGBTQ+ fiction is expanding at a wonderful rate. There are so many interactive fictions with options to select sexuality, select gender, select beliefs, etc. However, despite this expansion, there’s still a good deal of backlash against some aspects of LGBTQ+ fiction.

For example, as a bisexual woman who has dated men, I know there are some individuals who may not consider me a part of the LGBTQ+ because of this aspect. Not only is this incredibly disheartening, but it’s a viewpoint that I think should be educated against, and fiction is a fantastic pathway to do this. Another example I can think of is a friend of mine who identifies as asexual but is sex-neutral rather than sex-repulsed. Most people can’t believe her when she says this, and she often faces backlash for this declaration as well. This is another thing that I think that, with exposure through a medium such as fiction, can be worked on.

What I’m trying to say here is that I think LGBTQ+ fiction can be a brilliantly educational platform—if used right. Although it already teaches so much with what it has, I think having that representation of different subgroups of sexuality, of their experiences and beliefs, so people can become aware and knowledgeable of these options, is something I’d like to see more of.

Q5: What or who are some of your biggest inspirations?

Oh man, I struggled to list off inspirations because I know I have some, but as soon as someone asks me who they are my brain just goes ‘brrrrrr’ LMAO.

In terms of the games that I write and the worlds that I build, I think David Lynch and Robert Chambers are probably the two that I somehow incorporate. Attollo and Metamorphosis both have a lot of surrealist horror, which are what these two really specialized in. Shirley Jackson is also another person who inspired me a lot when it came to the writing and creation of Attollo, especially the intrapersonal relationships between the characters.

In terms of life, this is something else I really struggle to answer. I don’t really have celebrity inspirations or anything like that, but I do get inspired by my close friends and sister a lot. Seeing them go through the struggles that they face and absolutely thrive really drives me to push through my own struggles. They’re the strongest, most brilliant group of people that I know, and I consider myself incredibly fortunate that I can be a part of their lives. Not only that, but we also all collectively encourage each other to push further and to chase our dreams (as cheesy as that is LMAO) and that’s something that I think is another stroke of good fortune. I struck gold when I met them, and they’re some of the biggest inspirations in my life.

Q6: What’s a super vague spoiler for your current project?

For Attollo, I’d say ‘Home is where the heart is.’ For Metamorphosis, to quote John Berendt, ‘Always stick around for one more drink.’

Q7: Lastly, what advice would you give to your readers?

What advice would I give to you all? Oh my, I’m not exactly a wise woman here, but I’ll do my best to give you something lmaooo. I think what I really want you to walk away with, from both my stories and this interview, is that if you’re passionate about something, then share it with the world. Don’t let anyone deter your passion.

I remember listening to this painter once who commented to his friend how he ‘really liked painting’, and his friend’s first response was ‘but are you good at it?’. He then compared this to the scenario of walking; would you say, ‘but are you good at it?’ to someone who said, ‘I really like walking’? No, because it simply wouldn’t make sense, and it doesn’t make sense to say that to anyone who’s doing something out of passion.

To put it simply—if you love something, then don’t let anyone take that passion from you. I began writing these stories because I’m passionate about Attollo and Metamorphosis; I love each character, each bit of lore, and I share it with you because I want you all to enjoy it as well. Am I the best writer? God, no. Does everyone like what I write? Definitely not. But will I let this stop me from writing, from enjoying what I’m doing? Never, and I want you to do the same.

Explore your passions, embrace your passions, and let what makes you happy continue to do so

#if: events #Pride Month 2021 #pride month #queer authors #queer fiction #queer creators #interactive fiction

[ohallthecrushes]

Keep calm and carnival on

A/N: @deangirldream requested a fluffy fluff. Thank you for it! ^^ It was a joy to write it. I was trying to put jokes and a lot of fluff to it. I hope you like it. 🙂

Summary: You went to see your clown at work and you ended behind a tent with your face painted up by Carnival. Cause you as his clown girlfriend have to look like one!

Words count:2016

It was a long weekend as most people had three days off of work and almost everyone had some plans of how to spend these days. Most wanted to spend it with their loved ones and you were one of them.

Unfortunately, most people didn't mean everyone, someone always had to work and this time it was Artie. He had a really busy days ahead of him. A small festival was happening in a park and Arthur as Carnival was one of the clowns that were performing there. You promised him that you'd go to see him as soon as you finished your chores, and you kept your promise as you were already heading to the park to greet him and spend some time watching him in his natural environment. There was something delightful and uplifting in how a person could thrive when they did something they loved. And watching Carnival was really joyful and entertaining.

You couldn't wait to see your boyfriend, but as soon as you got there, you realized you didn't know where to find him. It was more crowded than you expected and every few meters there was another small tent with something fun to do or to buy. Arthur had to be in one of them.

You spent some time walking aimlessly from one tent to another, enjoying the weather and a cheering atmosphere. You saw one clown but not with green curls and you waved to Gary as you noticed him in a crowd. He waved you back and pointed to the right, showing you where you could find Arthur. Sweet Gary, he was as helpful as always.

Your feet took you to the green tent as you almost ran the rest of your way there. There was a small group of people standing in front of it, mostly children so you didn't have a problem to see your favorite clown dancing and singing a song to kids. They were all amused and laughing, and you could see it was giving Carnival a motivation to put even more effort into his performance. You stood there for a moment, enjoying him dancing, and looking at kids happy faces. There was only you and Carnival and the happy crowd, nothing else. No problems, no work, no shitty people, no difficult situations. One of those rare happy moments that you wanted to frame in your mind so you could come back to it any time.

Carnival made a cute spin with his hands threw aside in a comical and ending manner as he finished his dance with a bow. He spotted you and sent you a big smile before he waved his hand to you, showing to come to him now. His gesture was a bit theatrical and funny, but Arthur liked to stay in his character for as long as he could.

- Hi there, Carnival - you said with a smile before you came closer to give him a kiss to his cheek. But as you leaned towards him, your foot tripped on his big clowny shoe and you fell on him. He caught your arms and chuckled.

- You can't help it but fall for me, ha? - he joked.

- What can I say? - you shrugged - Your charm is irresistible.

You leaned again, this time without stumbling, and gave him a peck on his cheek. He smiled and you were sure he blushed, but the white paint covered the redness.

- Mr Caaarnivaaal - a soft squealing voice came from behind you - Is that your wiiife?

You looked behind you at a small girl with a lollipop and you gave her a smile.

- Soon to be, yeah. She's my girlfriend - Carnival responded, his voice full of proud, and you turned your head to him so fast you could hear something in your neck cracked.

What? Did he mean it?

He didn't look at you but he noticed the surprised look on your face. His hand found yours and gave it a squeeze.

- But she's not a clown? - the little girl questioned with a suspicious stare. For her the only proper girlfriend for a clown was of course another clown. Simple as that.

- How can you tell she's not? - Carnival leaned down to her height level and raised an eyebrow.

- Because she's not looking like one.

- Oh! You're right - a faked shock appeared on his face - we should change that than, shouldn't we?

The little girl nodded approvingly and Carnival chuckled before he pulled you with him.

- One moment, smart one - he said to her while pointing his index finger up in the air as you both disappeared behind the green tent.

- What are you doing? - you asked with curiosity - You want to changed me into one of your kind?

Mhmh - he nodded smirking - Wait a moment, ok?

He went into the tent and after a moment you saw him back with two stools and a set of grease paints and brushes.

- Are you serious? - you chuckled as he asked you to sit - Can you even disappear behind the tent like that? Won't Hoyt be angry?

- I'm on a break - he shrugged - Besides... - he reached into his pocket for a pack of cigarettes and a lighter - I haven't smoked for four freaking hours.

He lightened the cigarette and took a deep breath.

- Better? - you asked as you watched a ball of smoke leaving his mouth.

He nodded with a smirk as he took another puff and sat down on the other stool.

You sat down too and watched as he was setting up his supplies, putting them on a grass, choosing the right brushes and colors for you.

- Alright - he said with a smile as he picked up a large brush - Let's get it started.

You giggled like a child when he leaned towards you with a white paint on the top of the brush. The smell of it was familiar to you, since you smell it often from Arthur. You tasted it a bit even when you were kissing him with the greasepaint still on his face. But you'd never known the feeling of it on your own skin. When he was slowly painting your face, starting from your cheek, you closed your eyes and focused on how that felt. The paint wasn't cold as you thought it would be, the smell was stronger, yet bearable. It tickled sometimes, especially around your mouth.

- How does it feel? - his voice came closer to you.

- Nice.

When he finished painting your face white - the blank canvas he needed to create his work - he picked up the smaller brush, more pointed, and chose the first color to frame your eyes with. He told you to keep your eyes closed, and your chin had been lifted as he carefully started coloring your eyes. The smell of greasepaint mixed with the smell of a cigarette and you wrinkled your nose.

- That was cute - he said as he picked up another brush to put a different color on you. This time red. This was going to be your new smile. Oh, that was going to be great. He had a chance to put a smile on your face, but in a different way than usual. This time it was going to be almost permanent. He was sure you'd look beautiful when he finished.

- That's tickling - you chuckled as he brushed the paint across your lips.

- I know. It's like that until you get used to it.

- Am I going to look like you? - you opened your eyes. You wished there was a mirror so you could look at yourself.

- No, a little different. I'm using colors that you like the most.

- Oh, that's going to be awesome.

He nodded and took the cigarette between his lips. It was hanging from his mouth as he leaned a bit closer to you, putting his free hand on your tight. He wanted to touch you, he hadn't touched you much today and the last time was 10 minutes ago when you fell into his arms. You were more addicting than cigarettes.

- Now hush, sweety, we don't want you to have red teeth. It would scare the kids away.

You smirked as you watched his eyebrows knitting together in concentration. His eyes got those more intense look as he very precisely was drawing lines on your face. It was exciting and fascinating to watch him doing something artistic, something he liked to do. You could see it in his eyes, that he was excited too and he was very focused on you. This extra attention was making you feel like a princess. Clown princess. You would even like that title.

He inhaled the last time before taking the cigarette from his mouth to throw it onto the ground.

- Done! - he tilted his head as he admired his work, checking if everything was done correctly - You look beautiful.

- I wish I could see myself now. I don't have any mirror.

- There's a mirror inside the tent. You can look at yourself while dressing up.

- Dressing up?

- Yeah, there's a trunk there too. I think there should be a costume you could try on.

- Wait, you want me to perform?- you laughed as you got up - I don't know how.

- You know how, you watched me so many times. We will dance together and sing songs. It's easy you'll see - he said hyped as he took your hand in his - and you can make animals from balloons with me.

- Artie... - you chuckled but agreed to his idea - you know the only animal I can make from a balloon is a snake.

- That will do - he chuckled.

You helped him with supplies and he left you inside the tent, giving you time to dress up. You couldn't wait and you looked in a mirror to see what he'd created on your face. You were amazed. The colors he picked, your favorite ones, were very vibrant and he did an amazing job bringing them together into something colorful and matching.

You wanted to admire his work longer, but at the same time you didn't want him to wait for you.

You looked around and found the trunk. You opened it and picked up the first costume that was there. It was a little too big for you, but was comfortable enough to dance with it. And it even matched Carnival's outfit. After a while you decided to stay in your shoes however, there was no way you could dance or even walk in those big clown ones. You wondered how Arthur could do it.

When you were ready you went outside and when Arthur saw you he did that funny little jumps clapping his hands with excitement. You laughed as you walked over to him to stand beside him. He took your hand and swirled you around before he looked at the small girl that was still there, sucking on her lollipop. Her eyes opened wide in shock. Your transformation was spectacular to her.

You swayed shyly to the rhythm of a song playing somewhere in the background. Arthur was already doing a little dance facing you as he swirled you around one more time. You tried to mimic his movement and have fun, and soon you both were facing the crowd, doing some funny silly dance together. The kids were curious and seemed to like you.

The small girl came to you pulling her lollipop out of her mouth.

- You are Ms Carnival! - she said as she smiled at you.

You nodded and smiled back as you glanced at your boyfriend. You started to enjoy it more and more, gaining some confidence along the way. It indeed was easy like Arthur said. Actually, with Arthur, everything seemed to be easy. If you already didn't have a job, you could maybe work at Haha's with Arthur. You could just dance and sing and play around and entertain kids. You wouldn't have to do anything else and kids still would be impressed.

The girl pulled you by your sleeve bringing you down to Earth.

- Can you do any tricks?

Oh no.

#arthur fleck #joker #arthur fleck imagine #arthur fleck x reader #joker x reader #joker x you #joker fanfiction #arthur fleck fanfic

[daisywrites4you]

Your Spark - Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Co-Star AU

Author’s Notes: No confirmed Reader Gender, Age is not confirmed but is younger than Charlie, Slight Hint at Slow Burn (within the one-shot), Season 2 concept and NOT confirmed

Your life never seemed to have its spark. Everything being an endless fleet of things needed to be done and experiences always half-finished. That was until it started with a chance meeting on a film-set. Your first day being on the Julie and The Phantoms set was all due to the off-chance that you managed to get the job as a new character: Reggie’s potential love interest. You were widely shocked to have managed such a high role after expecting to get supporting-cast or a background character. You remembered bits and pieces but your stagefright did block a lot out. Your audition had included a cover of ‘Can’t blame a girl for trying’ by Sabrina Carpenter while playing your acoustic. You had shyly walked into the room and almost tripped over a sound card on the floor. You felt like you’d die from embarrassment before you would ever even make it to the judges table. You had introduced yourself and started your lines and tried to avoid eye contact. When you finally managed to look up, the director seemed shocked and interested in your acting. So when it finally came to singing, you felt more comfortable and gave it your all. You remembered hearing cheering from the doorway and the clapping from those who were listening in. It gave you a sense of pride but you never anticipated being something special. Still, you were elated to get the opportunity to meet and work with the actors you learned to adore after watching season one. Your life was finally coming together...that was until your eyes met viridescent ones.

You were walking to the break room to meet the cast for the first time. Your first day jitters seeming to get worse and worse as you neared the door. After all, these were your idols that you were about to meet. Mainly, you were most nervous to meet Charlie, your current celebrity crush. You wouldn’t describe yourself as obsessed or anything, just a small fascination with his smile and chipper attitude. You couldn’t help it, your feelings for the dork emerged after his first appearance on Charmed and the small crush never really went away after that. Even so, you were determined to not make a fool of yourself.

Your hand met the handle of the door as you heard laughs echoing from inside. Your hands buzzed as you tried to gulp down the intense anxiety stirring through you. You turned the knob after fighting any mental doubts you had and pulled open the door. The sounds of laughter died down and all eyes fell on you. Now your anxiety spiked and you had to hold down the urge to run out of the room. You tried to avoid seeming scared and looked for something to catch your eyes so you wouldn’t freak out. When you finally managed to look around your eyes met another pair. They were intense and bright and you had to almost yell at yourself mentally to realize you were staring a little too long. Tearing your eyes away, you finally managed to see who those eyes belonged to...Charlie Gillespie. “Oh god,” you mentally shouted at yourself.

Everything seemed to go so slow but in reality it had only been a few seconds that your eyes met his. Everyone seemed to now understand that you were a new member and began to get up and introduce themselves. They were all so kind and gentle with you, making sure you weren’t spooked. Social anxiety is a major issue with you, so usually settings like this overstimulated you, however, this was genuinely nice. By the time you became more comfortable goofing around, you could feel a pair of eyes on you. You peered around the room as you spoke and your eyes met Charlie’s once more. You felt small tingles running along your back, and decided to flash him a small smile before continuing on as normal. At some point he joined the group and started conversing with you too.

As the day went on you and Charlie really hit it off as friends and it felt like you guys had been friends for far longer than it seemed. You had already started talking about your childhood, the good memories, that is, and he his own. He wasn’t the only friend you made however. You had gotten really close with Madison and Jeremy.

It has been some time now and you’d come to describe the cast as a family you never anticipated to have. Slowly your comfort levels developed and you started to become more comfortable around the cast, however there was some part of you that still held up reservations of showing who you were. No matter what you couldn’t shake that. Even so, they began to learn your love for reading, your admiration for the show, and how passionate you are as a person.

“I can’t believe your favorite line from the show was that of all things!” Mads teased loudly.

“Can you honestly blame me?” You questioned, flashing her a cheeky smile. You guys had gotten on the topic of season one and you both had started comparing favorite lines from the show. Your heart was currently still stuck on, “This is an interesting little relationship you and I have.” Mads couldn't help but agree that it is a good quote and any girl would swoon being told that. I mean, that scene did cause that crush of yours on Charlie to spiral once more when you first started getting into the show after finishing Charmed a year prior. However, you did try to shove those feelings far far away. You didn’t want any awkward tension or teases from the cast...especially from Madison. That girl would never let you live it down, you blame the gen z matchmaker within her. You couldn’t help but compare the young teen to a little sister and you had grown quite attached to her as you worked together on set. You’d spent most of your days with her at work, and even spent some time outside of work going shopping for squishmallows, thrifting, or even just having small movie nights. You knew one day you’d tell the curly haired Latina your woes. Until then, it was more so sneaky remarks and avoiding any talks of relationships in general. You were glad she was so disinterested in romance due to her career. Even so, you really had to keep it on the downlow, especially after this conversation. You couldn’t have her knowing that it wasn’t just the quote that gave you butterflies in that scene.

“Honestly girl, I’m just excited to see more favorite quotes being posted once this new season is released,” Madison beamed before continuing, “We’ve already gotten so far into filming.”

She was right though. You knew there was going to be more fan art and new content being issued. You honestly couldn’t wait to finally be a part of the mix. You had a huge feeling that fans were either going to be jealous of you, be upset that you ruined their ship, or ship you endlessly with Reggie. Thankfully, the shipping couldn’t be spread to real life because of Jeremy’s marriage. That thought almost made you sigh in relief. Your upcoming scene with Jeremy was actually happening soon and the scene entails to where you first meet after a JATP performance. Your characters are meant to walk right into each other and thus develop into an instant attraction and soon your character’s backstory; why they’re a ghost.

Your response to Madison was a laugh and, “Oh yeah, let's hope it's nothing too crazy...if you get what I mean,” nudging her arm as you went on.

She scrunched her nose and this makes you belt into a laughing spree, to which she begrudgingly joins soon enough. Eventually three figures emerge into view, your favorite ghost boys are back from set. “What are you guys laughing about?” Charlie asked with a chuckle and smile.

“Oh, just the fandom and the interesting things that will be posted once the season is dropped,” Madison joked while emphasizing ‘interesting.’

The boys all groaned but still had huge smiles on their faces while they did so. We all knew sad or ‘spicy’ content would be posted, and no matter how awkward it could sometimes be, we still adored the effort fans put into their works. It was one of the most fulfilling parts of the job; the endless support you receive.

You couldn’t help but smile at the boys. “Honestly guys, I’m excited to see all the stuff that’ll be released,” You expressed excitedly.

You were almost hopping up and down and it took a lot for the group to not laugh at your excitement. They were used to this type of adoration, but they knew you weren't, and they couldn’t help but see a younger version of themselves in you. They all whooped in agreement and you brought the conversation full circle by bringing up favorite quotes. You couldn’t help but admire Charlie as he expressed his favorite scenes, quotes, and memes of the show. The way he expressed himself via his movements, the way his presence radiates, and how passionate he is, made your eyes instinctively glue to him. You knew the group was around and tried to keep your eyes off of him to avoid suspicion. Although, you couldn’t really help the heartfelt stare you shot his way anytime a laugh or smile came from the Canadian.

There were many moments within the month or so it’s been with the dork that had slowly but surely made his way into your heart. After all, you worked on set together, so it was only natural for you both to get as close as you have. You were okay with that for some time until the day you realized your “celeb crush” was much more than a small fascination and was developing into much more. You were a quarter into filming and were currently getting your makeup done before set. Your mind kept wandering while real life slowly faded in and out. Thoughts and the sounds around you blurred together until you felt the tingles through your scalp as your stylist fixed your hair. Now, you could not get this specific memory out of your head; it was as vivid as when you first experienced it.

It was just any other filming day and the cast was on lunch break after having filmed for 5 hours. You were dying to get something to eat or you felt like you’d hurl. So you scurried to the line and ordered your food before rushing to sit down. You were quick to scarf down your food before the rest of the cast could even manage to sit down. Mads sat down and noticed your now empty plate, “Damn girl. Your stomach really went ‘Es hora de comer.’”

You peered up at the girl with a grin and laughed at her tiktok reference. She recently got you caught up on the references, gen z humor, and even set up a tiktok account that you occasionally post on. “I was hungry, miss girl. They do be starving us on the regular,” You whined, “Also, not you teasing me for eating quickly when we both know that you are always eating, especially on Instagram Live.”

Your hint of sass was not missed and Mads makes sure to exaggerate her gasp by making it as loud as possible while clutching her chest. This makes you both burst into a fit of giggles. You weren’t really paying attention to your surroundings before a pair of hands made their way into your hair. A surge of tingles burst along your scalp and upper back. You had a feeling you knew who it was but looked up to confirm the culprit. Of course your eyes met Charlie’s and you couldn’t help but get lost in them for a second; his eyes were always a warmer shade when you peered into them. As the eye contact was made, you could feel his fingers curling into your hair as you let out a giggle and relaxed into his touch. You had gotten used to his affectionate behavior and your heart was quite fond of it now. After all, he’s been doing things like this for a while now. You give him a teasing smile before muttering a simple, “Hey.” He offers you a smile back and asks the famous Joey Tribbiani line, “How you doin’?”

“I’m doing good now that I’m not dying of starvation,” You explained. His response to get under your skin per usual was, “Oh, poor baby~” while ruffling your hair.

You were flustered but decided to scoff at his response. “You may be a tad older than me, C, but this ‘poor baby’ can still kick your ass. Starvation is no laughing matter.”

You were only joking and the brunette could tell too. Even so, his hand tightened in your hair as your threat was still fresh in the air. If it weren’t for Madison laughing, you would have almost forgotten she was there. “You guys bicker like an old married couple,” she taunted.

Ever since that day you’ve craved nothing more than to be something more to him. It didn’t help when his love language is physical touch and he gives you cute nicknames; of course all of these were consented to and talked about. You both had spent time figuring out nicknames and even boundaries; which made you fall even harder for Charlie due to the man’s respect of others. Still, your brain relentlessly argued whether the actions were platonic or not. The memory of his touch still burned your skin with desire, and his eyes always seemed to captivate you, you know if you stared for too long, you’d be a goner. You wanted to tell him how much you loved him, but the impromptu feeling of rejection eased its way into your anxieties and you crumbled before it. So instead you’ve been endlessly daydreaming of what could be for the last month.

Your thoughts were once again interrupted by your stylist as she finished up your hairdo for the next scene you’d be filming. This scene entails a kiss scene with Reggie and you were dreading it entirely. It was bad enough that the man is married, but your feelings for Charlie, and brotherly relationship with Jer just made it worse. You were just hoping you wouldn’t have to reshoot too many times. You made your way to the set and as soon as you made it inside you spotted Charlie out of the crowd. You could already feel the tension throughout the room building. Anyone could see it; the anxiety of the shoot and the way you both stared at each other. You, with hope and him...well, you weren’t sure yet. It’s hard to pinpoint a single word for how he sees you when his eyes are so genuine and open to everyone he meets. You could only ever describe it as a warm feeling. Like, when you get freshly dried blankets out of your drying machine and bundle into them after a long rainy day.

Before you could manage to utter a response, Jeremy, who was at your side, whispers teasingly to you, “I do not like the energy we’ve created in the studio today.”

This broke you from your trance and you bursted into laughter. Of course the rest of the cast was confused at your outburst but you were thankful to have had Jeremy take off some of your stress. Jeremy was just as glad, after all, he noticed how your jaw was clamped tight and your arms were tense when entering the room prior. He took that as a small victory for the day. Of course that also didn’t go unnoticed from the Canadian across the room either.

After some time of filming, a lot of mess ups, and occasional chats, you managed to get to the 2nd to last scene of the day. Your character is arguing with Reggie. Both seemed to be annoyed with the other for avoiding each other. Thus, the scene is an argument. The next visual cues onto you. Your strands of locks were evident along your furrowed brow. Almost as if you were sweating from the heated argument that is occurring within the scene. The scene was written and described to have a lot of sexual tension without having to allude to anything crazy. The next shot is you screaming, “God why can’t you just man up for once and stop avoiding me? You can flirt with all the girls you want but can’t seem to even look me in the eyes. What is wrong with you?!”

After that it is supposed to pan to Reggie. Thus zooming into him with a hurt look all the while he looks from my eyes to my lips. Then he shouts while running up to me and cupping my face, “Because I’m in love with you and it scares me,” then crashing his lips into mine.

We’ve had to shoot this scene twice already for either cringing or messing up a line. However, this shot was the kicker because we both secretly agreed to imagine each other as the person we had feelings for.

The conversion with Jeremy had gone like this after the first few mess ups, “Okay so this isn’t working.”

To which you responded with a sigh, “yeah it’s just too weird...we keep letting our real lives divide us from our characters for this scene.”

He nodded his head in response before scratching his head. “How about we pretend that we aren’t talking to each other OR each other’s characters...and instead someone who holds our heart?” Jeremy offered thoughtfully.

You were shocked to have heard such a smart but scary plan. That’s when you paled, did he know of your crush? Before you could even ask he was quick to the punch. “I know. I figured it out after some time. The stares you gave him were a dead giveaway. I won’t tell anyone, but I think it would be a great way to get your feelings out there without having to subject yourself to that type of scenario right now. Use it for your gain and not your hindrance...if that makes sense?”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at the goofy brunette. He really was like family to you and he knew more about you than you expected. You were just glad you didn’t have to bottle it up from another person."I'm ready to try again, if you are?" Thus cueing to our now revised and improved scene. The scene now had so much pent up frustration and tension it was addicting to watch. No one could seem to tear their eyes away.

Thus, Kenny yelled cut and everyone was cheering. Everyone except Charlie, that is. You quickly looked at the male, his eyes for the first time since you met him were closed off and had a faraway look to them. Your feelings of dread and worry kicked in and you wondered what was wrong. Maybe you didn’t do the scene right? You weren’t honestly sure what to do in that moment, up until you felt Jeremy’s hand grab your shoulder and shake you slightly. “Hey, you did great! Our plan worked out well,” Jer made sure to mutter that last part.

He was now the only one who 100% knew of your feelings. You speculate that others are starting to catch on but weren’t sure entirely. Your response to him was, “Thanks, Jer. God I wish I could just say that to him myself, to be honest.”

Jeremy got a small chuckle out of that and pats your head before saying, “You’ll be ready one day...maybe sooner than later...mainly after that scene.”

You look at him questioningly before asking, “What is that supposed to mean?”

He shook his head and gave you a small smile before walking off. Now you were confused by two males in your life. “God, this is why I usually stick to female friends...at least there’s no riddles with women,” you thought to yourself.

You couldn’t manage to find Charlie after that scene and didn’t find him at all for the rest of the filming day. This aggravated you a lot because you were excited to hear the praise from him the most. After all, that was the most major scene in the entire season for your character. At times like this you wished you had Charlie’s number to just text him and see how he was doing. But even after all these months, you never managed to ask for his number. You guys would just rely on conversation at work. Plus you assumed he was the busy type and wouldn’t be on his phone often anyways. So instead you made your way to Jeremy after a few hours to see if anything was going on. He seemed just as carefree as usual, figures.

"He's been missing since the 2nd to last scene of the day and you're not worried?" You ask Jer.

“No, because you could always shoot him a text. I’m sure he’s alright and just needed time to cool off after filming,” Jeremy says but his voice doesn’t sound so confident. It almost seemed like he was lying.

“I don’t exactly have his number yet, bub,” you grumbled.

Jeremy laughed at your expression and nudged you, “Hey, cut me some slack, I’m trying to help.”

"If you give me his phone number, I might reconsider,” you say with a smirk and gleaming eyes. Jeremy contemplated it but thought it was best that the phone number was earned and not given out by someone else. Consent is key guys.

At some point you gave up searching for the man, “He’s an adult and can handle himself,” you thought.

You made your way to your trailer and you soon heard footsteps approaching you. Owen’s voice interrupted your thoughts, “Hey, are you okay? You seem kind of upset.”

You looked up to the blonde and gave him the sincerest smile you could manage. “Yeah…” your response was off timed and almost broken and was a dead giveaway that it was a lie. You scolded yourself for your horrible acting.

“I can tell you aren’t. Mind if we talk about it?” He asked softly. Of course you couldn’t say no to him, his offer was too sincere and heartfelt.

So instead you sighed and muttered, “Okay but in private. Come into my trailer.” He nodded his head in response and followed you inside.

“Where do I even start?” This was more so a question you were asking yourself and less so him.

“If you have to start with bullet points, that's totally fine,” he offered.

You nodded in relief and began listing your current issues. “Honestly, I’m worried about Charlie. Usually he’s in a chipper mood and always there to support me but today he was off. He looked so spaced out and I haven’t seen him at all since then. I was hoping for some sort of ‘congrats’ I guess. Plus, I’m scared I may have upset him somehow.”

You had sputtered some of the words so fast it took Owen a minute to process. Your anxiety spurred out of haywire as you waited for his response. Once he finally had collected the information and put two and two together, he hadn’t even responded to what you said and instead gasped and blurted, “Oh my god, you’re in love with him aren’t you?”

You couldn't manage to handle another person figuring it out and you froze on spot. A bunch of excuses filled your thoughts but nothing ever managed to come out. So instead you drop your head and offer a small nod to the smart blonde for connecting two and two together. You weren’t the only one now silent, for Owen was now just as shocked and processing what had just happened. Both tried to come up with something to say but fell short until you decided to speak up and say, “It started as a celebrity crush when I was first introduced to the show Charmed and then spiraled as I watched JATP. Now that I’ve gotten closer to him... the feelings aren’t a simple crush anymore. I’ve been trying, and for some reason failing, to keep it on the downlow so that I don’t make things awkward...or worse, ruin what I have with Charlie.”

You sigh and grip your arms before leaning against the wall and continuing, “Today he’s been acting distant with me and I’m not sure what I did wrong.”

Owen stayed silent as you spoke and took time pondering on what he should exactly say. After all, this is a tough situation to be in. “I don’t think it’s you,” he muttered and decided to trail on, “I think he’s just being overworked. Plus he could’ve been worried about your scene looking realistic..like maybe you were genuinely mad.”

You took in his words for a second. He did have a point after all. “Also, to your feelings for him...I was shocked to hear because I assumed it wouldn’t stir up until months later. No offense but you seem to be an oblivious person and I kind of assumed you wouldn’t realize for a while.”

You chuckled and wacked his arm playfully and he laughed as a response. “I think if your feelings become too much, you should talk to someone...or him,” he advised.

“I usually just vent to Jer...and well, now you,” you confessed before finishing with, “If it gets bad I’ll consider talking to Charlie. Until then, this stays between us.”

So now two people knew. Now for Mads to find out. All it takes is for one thing to happen...a failed cast movie night. You had thought of the idea of having a movie night at your apartment with the cast as a way to have a break from set. This allowed for more group bonding without work being involved. You invited everyone, even Charlie. After all, things were fine now. It had been a few weeks since that filming day with Jeremy and at some point Charlie seemed to be alright again. You had originally chosen to drop it and it stayed that way. Now, an hour before the movie night was supposed to commence, your “movie night” group chat buzzed with notifications. Everyone had different excuses for the random bails and last minute decisions. You were disappointed to say the least but accepted the fate. You laid on the couch for a little bit before deciding to pack everything up. That was until you heard a honk come from outside. You saw the familiar vermillion Subaru and the driver’s side tinted window rolled down before a mess of brown waves shot out. The bubbly brunette had a huge smile on his face. That smile of his was contagious and before you knew it your face broke into a large smile as well. You laughed before closing the curtain and rushing to set everything back up.

Soon enough you heard a knock on your door and you hustled to go open the door for Charlie. You whipped the door open and offered the dork a smile before ushering him in. “You didn’t have to go out of your way to come here. Mainly since everyone else bailed.” You said.

He gave you an awkward smile and said, “Yeah...but I wanted to come,” scratching his hair and then finishing with, “Plus it means we can talk about the movie without anyone whining.”

You giggle at him and shake your head slightly. You made your way to the microwave and flopped your popcorn bag into it before pressing the few buttons and starting it. The buzzing sound of the microwave filled the air as you grabbed a drink from the fridge. “Hey,” you called to the brunette that had already made himself comfortable on your couch, “Is there anything specific you want to drink?”

He gave you an answer and you made sure to offer him the drink before getting the popped popcorn from the microwave. You flopped down next to him and grabbed your remote. “Okay so I’m vibing with Halloween movies right now,” You state.

He pops a few pieces of popcorn into his mouth and agrees with the genre. “How about Hocus Pocus?” He offers.

You shake your head no, “I already watched it recently.” He gave you a shocked but pleased look.

“How about….Ooo how about Halloween Town? I grew up with the movies.” You said excitedly. His smile was just as big as yours.

“I grew up watching them too!” He announced gleefully.

So now begins your hours long movie adventure with the two of you. Currently, you both had somehow managed a cuddle position, sadly deemed platonic, where you were lying along his chest and side. You could feel the thumping of his heartbeat as you rested your head in the crook of his shoulder. His breathing was relaxing and kept you from being able to focus on the movie in front of you. At some points within the movie you could feel his thumb tracing circles along your side or arm. Those moments were a lot harder to breathe during and you had a lot of mental battles to make sure you could catch your breath. The snacks were already picked through and your drinks were long forgotten as you appreciated his presence alongside you. His laugh throughout some scenes always seemed addicting to hear and you’d rather listen to that than the movie right now. He always had a smile on his face, especially right now. You both had a good laugh at the cheap SFX makeup and low quality CGI. The acting was always so cheesy but you both couldn’t help but adore the nostalgia. It was nice to have someone else admire a classic with you.

You had moments where you almost could feel his gaze along your features and it took a lot of mental strength to pretend you couldn’t feel the tingles. You were sure you were just imagining things but curiosity kept getting the better of you. So you made a quick glance up at his direction as the movie neared its end. There was a huge smile on your face from the movie moments prior to your realization. Now your eyes met those same intoxicating viridescent ones and the intimate moments began once more. You flashed him a smile before looking back at the movie before you.

At some point at the end you blurted, “You know, if this movie were re-filmed, you would be a much better love interest for the series.” To which he gives you a perplexed look before giving you a crooked grin.

“Why do you say that?” He questioned with a slanted brow.

“Well, because this wouldn’t be the first time you’d be a love interest to a witch,” you started before adding, “as well as you’re amazingly talented at acting as love interests and just acting in general.”

He broke out into a huge grin before excitedly responding, “To be honest, I’d love to star in a remake of a childhood film I enjoyed, so yeah, I wouldn’t mind. I think it’d be fun!”

You couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride to know he was just as excited at the concept but also because he agreed with you without judgement. However, you could never admit to him that you also would love to see him play one of the love interests Marnie had because you always put yourself in Marnie’s shoes.

Alas, the movie came to an end and he needed to head home for the night. Begrudgingly getting up from the couch, you both had scrambled to pick up the mess you made. After you both finished, you walked him towards the door and you guys bid each other goodbyes, making sure to ask for each other’s phone numbers in advance. You took a deep exhale once the front door shut. It felt like you had been holding in your breath for the evening. You made your way to the bathroom to do your nightly routine before eventually heading to bed. You stayed up most of the night imagining his eyes, the way his chest shifted up and down when breathing, the gentle beating of his heart in your ears, and the laugh that echoed along the walls of your apartment. These thoughts made you feel warm and whole before eventually falling into a deep sleep.

The next day was busy and filled with life as you had more scenes that needed to be filmed. A lot of the cast kept offering you smiles and seemed more chipper than normal towards you. It was eerie and you kept wondering what they knew that you didn't. You could be wrong but it just didn’t feel right. You kept wondering what everyone knew and was doing before bumping into someone. A mess of dark unruly hair flashed into your perspective and you connected the dots as to who it was. Before you could say anything, she beat you to the punch, "I heard from Charlie that you guys had a movie night together,” Madison stated, almost trying to hint at something more. You had a feeling this possibly correlated with what everyone else was wondering or knew. Great, now everyone was beginning to know of your tragic crush on your coworker.

“Oh yeah we did…” You respond with a smile and hope she’d drop it at that.

“Well? What happened? I want all the details!" Mads pressed cheekily.

You begin your woes with Charlie and how the night had played out. Expressing your admiration for the movie, the things you did together, and even the conversation you had about wanting him to play in a remake.

"The way you flirt is shameful," Madison joked.

“Huh,” You questioned. Her saying that confused you because you never said anything about flirting.

“Oh come on, it’s obvious dude,” Mads admitted while elbowing your side with a grin.

“I’m not sure what you mean, Mads,” You argued with a small smile and teasing stare.

“It’s so obvious that you like him! I just didn’t want to say anything because I thought you hadn’t realized yet.” Mads declared with a knowing smile.

It’s sad to say but she was entirely right. You were horrible from keeping your feelings hidden and her realization just proves that statement. Even so, you were getting a good laugh out of this. “Okay okay, yeah I do and yes it is,” you responded to her statements honestly.

“I knew it! I’m just waiting for the marriage proposal and babies now.” Mads responded with a mischievous grin and hearty chuckle.

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing from her honest and wide stretched ideas. You knew there was a lot of teasing coming your way from now on. You were excited to experience it though, she always offered a good laugh and had great advice. Madison was really developing as her own person and was really mature for her age. You admired that in her. It’s just a little sad that you had to get advice and even be called out by a young teen.

Weeks had passed since the whole cast and Mads situation occurred. Currently, you’ve been chatting with Charlie on the daily over the phone. Whether it be a call or simple text, you always had something to look forward to during the day. Hell, you’d get an occasional meme or tiktok sent your way. There were days when you’d even film some tiktok challenges with him for fun. You had a blast whenever he was around and the comment section of both of your accounts were constantly spammed about your guys’ chemistry. Most people were supportive of your friendship and others were quick to ship you guys. You couldn’t deny that you were flustered by the overwhelming support and fanbase sent your way. Charlie always seemed so excited to read or show you the comments that came strolling in after posting anything with you two.

There were multiple times where you’d make eye contact or your faces would be super close together. Your breath would hitch every time and it took a lot to manage your breathing to be normal. You swore up and down this man made you develop asthma. You couldn’t help it, that man took your breath away. The subtle brushes of his hand on your side or arms were never overlooked. Or the way he’d occasionally grasp your hand when directing you somewhere. You noticed all of these little things he did when he was with you. You tried to brush it off as normal but you couldn't help but hope. Mainly when there were a few romantic challenges that you’ve done together online.

The slowburn was killing you. It was near your last few weeks of filming now. You didn’t know what to expect or think anymore. He is openly intimate with anyone he cares about, so it's hard to differentiate platonic from romantic. That was, until he called you randomly on your day off asking something very important. “Hey,” you can hear a small awkward chuckle before he continues, “There's something I need to get off my chest. I’ve been waiting a while to say this...you are always the one at the back of my mind, and I was wondering if I could take you somewhere...like on a date?”

You were silent for a moment. You didn’t expect that type of question out of the blue; let alone from him. Finally you managed to muster up the courage to respond after a few moments of silence, “Uh yeah! Where would we be going and what time?”

“The first part of your question is a surprise, and 8 pm. Dress cute and comfy.” He announced with a cheerful but playful tone.

You couldn’t help but giggle at his cuteness from over the phone. “Okay, I’ll see you then,” You responded with a goofy tone before hanging up.

Now your anxiety was spiraling. You had to figure out what to wear that could fit any occasion since it's a surprise. You knew it wasn’t some fancy dinner. He was more of the spontaneous adventure type for dates, at least, that what you assumed. So instead, you go for a cute pair of jeans, a cute top and flannel, and a few accessories. You paced around your room while contemplating what would occur tonight. You had an hour before he was coming to pick you up and you were trying to buy yourself time. So, you settled for scrolling tiktok and your other social media feeds. All of your content was booming with new likes, follows, and comments. It put a huge smile on your face from all of the support you were receiving before you heard a knock on your front door.

Before you could even say anything, the brunette was already leaning against the doorway and said with the all knowing accent, “How you doin’?”

You couldn’t help but laugh while hurriedly grabbing your keys and saying, “Oh come on Charlie, that’s so cheesy. You used that as a pickup line, really?”

“Hey hey now, they’ll be plenty more before this is over. You might as well accept it,” he cheekily taunts.

While shaking your head and laughing, you make your way out the door and to his vehicle. You see him rush past you to be at the passenger side before you make it and he opens the door as you get closer. You smiled at the thoughtful action and decided not to mention it just yet. You adjusted yourself into the seat before buckling up and looking at the radio. “Hey, could I use the aux cord to play some music?” You ask quickly.

He looks over at you before nodding his head and handing you the cord. You plug it into your phone before shuffling through your playlists to pick a song. All the while Charlie is pulling out of the apartment complex parking zone. Soon you finally manage to pick a song and immediately click it. You adjusted the volume while waiting for the first tune to come out. Soon enough the song began. “Ba ba da da. Ba ba da da. Ba ba da da. Ba ba da da. Ba ba da da”

You were already goofily singing along and tapping the beat along the dashboard. Soon enough the singing began, “Take a look at my girlfriend. She's the only one I got (ba ba da da) Not much of a girlfriend; I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da). It's been some time since we last spoke. This is gonna sound like a bad joke, but momma I fell in love again. It's safe to say I have a new girlfriend.”

He was staring at you as he sang along to the lyrics; never breaking eye contact as the song continued. You wondered what it would be like to be called his girlfriend and introduced to his family. You’d never met them before but you hear amazing stories all the time from the bubbly brunette beside you.

“And I know it sounds so old, but cupid got me in a chokehold, and I'm afraid I might give in. Towels on the mat my white flag is wavin'. I mean she even cooks me pancakes and Alka Seltzer when my tummy aches. If that ain't love then I don't know what love is.”

You pondered what it would be like to have breakfast with him or to be around on his sick days. Those were vulnerable moments in a person’s life and it made you crave that even more.

“We even got a secret handshake”

You guys did have a ‘secret’ handshake. It originated sometime during a tiktok because you thought it would be a great filler moment for one of the videos.

“And she loves the music that my band makes”

You adored JATP and Sunset Curve. You listened to the first season’s Now or Never on repeat. You adored anything that had to do with his voice, honestly. Some of his covers on tiktok and Instagram were shamelessly saved. You’d go back and listen to them when you needed a “pick me up.”

“I know I'm young but if I had to choose her or the sun, I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun.”

It was true. If any moments with him meant losing time in the day, it was well worth it. Even so, you both were screaming along to these lyrics and had huge smiles the entire time. The chorus played out the speakers and along the walls of the car once more before continuing with, “It's been a while since we talked last and I'm tryin' hard not to talk fast, but dad I'm finally thinkin' I may have found the one. Type of girl that will make you way proud of your son.”

God, you crave the acceptance of his family. It was eating at you constantly. You weren’t even dating the guy yet and already worried for the day you had to prove yourself to the family that helped him become the man he is today. That’s a lot to handle for someone mentally, mainly if they don’t end up liking you. They’re his flesh and blood and you’d never want to come between that.

“And I know you heard the last song about the girls that didn't last long, but I promise this is on a whole new plane. I can tell by the way she says my name (ba ba da da)”

You pondered for a moment who he might have dated and his love life in general. After all, were you his normal type? Do you have an effect on him? You brushed away the thought as the next lyrics played, “I love it when she calls my phone. She even got her very own ringtone. If that ain't love then I don't know what love is (ba ba da da)”

You smiled at the thought of him possibly looking forward to your random calls about whatever you were thinking about at the moment. You were always excited to receive a call from him. You’d always hear the ringtone for him which was currently set to ‘Yellow’ by Coldplay. After all, he was your yellow. But you did wonder what yours might’ve been on his. Hell, knowing him he’d probably just left it to the generic tone or a funny one.

“It's gonna be a long drive home but I know as soon as I arrive home, and I open the door, take off my coat and throw my bag on the floor. She'll be back into my arms once more for sure.”

You wished for the day you were together and could experience that level of comfort. Hoping for the day you could come home from a tiring day at work and just bask in the comfort of your partner’s arms. You imagined it for a little while longer while the chorus continued once again. You couldn’t help but space out and daydream for a different time. You knew Charlie was probably looking at you like you were crazy for spacing out randomly but you couldn’t seem to break your thoughts away.

“She's got a smile that would make the most senile, annoying old man bite his tongue. I'm not done. She's got eyes comparable to sunrise and it doesn't stop there. Man, I swear, she's got porcelain skin of course she's a 10, and now she's even got her own song. But movin' on, she's got the cutest laugh I ever heard and we can be on the phone for three hours; not sayin' one word. And I would still cherish every moment, and when I start to build my future she's the main component. Call it dumb, call it luck, call it love, or whatever you call it but everywhere I go I keep her picture in my wallet like here.”

You were still in your own little thoughts while these lyrics played. Even when spaced out, you could still see the figure beside you absolutely jamming along to the lyrics like he meant every word. He was so expressive and happy as he sang along. He was in his element and you adored it. You slowly stopped spacing out and focused on the man beside you as he continued to sing along.

Charlie stopped at the red light, just as the last few moments of the chorus played along in the background. You were belting along again and acting out the lyrics in your own charming way. Your hair illuminated from the sun’s warm glare and your skin was shining in an almost ethereal-like way. Your body language screamed serenity and fluidity. He couldn’t help but be enraptured by your free spirit. His gaze was solely focused on you as you sang along, almost as if he was scared to look away for he’d miss a single moment of you. Both parties could feel the positivity and connection radiating off each other. As the song neared its end, you sat back breathless from your little show-stopping performance. You finally turned back to Charlie and you couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed by his expression. It was pure awe and it made you feel flustered. His stare was piercing and shined with adoration. His smile was wider than any other moment you’ve ever experienced with him.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” You asked with a bashful smile while brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

He chuckled before responding, “Can’t I just admire you for a second? I don’t see this often.”

You were confused by his statement at first, that was until you realized what his words truly meant. You had shown a part of yourself that others rarely see, the goofy and open side. Yes, you goofed around with friends and cast members but you still had your timid or closed-off self. However, this is the side of yourself that oozed confidence, and only he got to experience it at this moment. Which was something you’d both treasure from this moment forward. You’d thankfully managed to notice the light had turned green in the nick of time.

“C, the light is green!” You warned but had a huge smile on your face as you said so.

“I know,” he said teasingly while staring at you for a moment longer before driving once more.

You pulled up to the park where you could almost make out something in the distance. It appeared to be a few things laying out on the grass. One of those things being a square shape, probably a blanket. Putting two and two together, you realized it was a picnic date. Your heart swelled at the wholesome idea and admired him for the effort. You hadn’t even seen the entire setup and were already swooning. You look up at him and give him a lovesick smile before he quickly shuffled out of the door and ran to your side. He was a helpless romantic and believed chivalry wasn’t dead. So being the gentleman he was, he opened the door for you and offered you his hand so it would be easier to leave the Subaru. You giggle and say, “such a gentleman.”

He flashes you another smile before saying, “You deserve the world. I may not be able to offer much, but for you, I’ll do anything.”

Your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest at the response he gave you. It wasn’t something you were used to from him. It was endearing, to say the least. You both made your way to your picnic spot. A soft blanket and cute basket were laying out. There was even a bouquet of your favorite flowers and his guitar laying along the grass. All of your favorite snacks and drinks were inside the basket. You were giddy as you looked at everything before you. “This is so sweet, C.” you gushed.

“I wanted to prove to you that I take your heart seriously and that I care.” He seemed shy while he spoke but his eyes were open and honest. He meant every word.

“You have nothing to prove, that you haven’t already, Gillespie.” You teased while softly punching his arm.

He playfully hit back as he responded, “I know but I still wanted to.”

“Fair. Okay, what do you want to do?” You asked.

The poor guy blanked for a moment. He seemed at a loss at your question. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I didn’t think I’d get this far,” he admitted.

You laughed before asking, “Why’s that?”

He chuckled before his face switched to a more serious note, “I always thought of you as unobtainable. You were so interesting and motivated and open to others. I didn’t know if you saw me as anything more than a friend. It started as an attraction but soon I had gotten really close with you and it developed into more. By then I was scared that if I said something, I could lose you.”

You were frozen. You didn’t anticipate this type of response. After all, these are only things you’d experience in fanfiction. It made you feel special. If it wasn’t for the fact that you were in public, you’d probably cry. You’d been dying to hear his side and now you finally have.

“In all honesty, I felt the same way. That you were unattainable, that is.” You responded while looking down.

You kept peering down at the blanket before feeling his hand cup your cheek and tilting your head up. Your eyes met his own before the question left his lips, “And why’s that?” By now if any oxygen was entering your lungs, you damn well couldn’t feel it. His gaze was paralyzing and it took a few moments for you to break away from it. You shifted back a bit to give your heart the break it needed before finally speaking up, “Because. You are you. This lovable and goofy guy. You are adventurous and never take no for an answer. You push others to be their best. You never speak of romance and you always seemed more interested in popular celebrities.”

He chuckled at your response. “Hey! Don’t laugh at me, this is embarrassing to admit,” You whined. You tried to hide the small smile making its way onto your face.

“I’m not laughing at you. Just at the thought that we both thought the other wasn’t interested. I mean come on! Oh, and hey, never be embarrassed to be open with me. I say embarrassing things and do embarrassing things all the time.” He opened up.

“Okay, so what’s one thing you are embarrassed to admit?” You asked curiously. The question honestly intrigued you and his response even more so. Plus, it made it easier to avoid continuing the awkward things you said prior.

“I may have tipped everyone off to not come to your movie night months ago so I could finally have alone time with you,” He answered honestly. You were shocked by two things in that sentence; his boldness and that he had done something like that to gain your attention.

“If you wanted to spend time with me, all you had to do was ask!” you shrieked before pushing his shoulder playfully.

You both were laughing and enjoying the honesty. You never expected him to be the sneaky type and plan something like that. However, it did make a lot of sense looking back. Now it was time for him to ask something, and of course, he continued the intimate questionnaires. “Why did you choose to come with me tonight?” he asked curiously.

He seemed invested by your answer but you could tell by his body language that he was a little antsy. He was brushing his arms and shifting his legs a lot while he waited for you to answer. “I thought, well, for once in my life I should make a decision for myself that would be adventurous, put me out of my comfort zone, and just to let me be happy. I didn’t expect you to ever actually ask me out, but I’m glad you did.” You answered honestly.

He seemed bewildered by your response but still broke out into his heart-stopping grin. You really did know how to blow the man away every time you showed another side of yourself. The questions continued for what seemed like hours and it was now dark out. Even so, the conversation was just as lively and Charlie couldn’t help but stare at you. Your eyes were sparkling from the night’s ever glowing moon. He could only gaze at your face and appreciate your features; your lashes hiding the gleam in your eyes and the soft crinkles of your lids. A hearty chuckle belted out of those lips; the ones he so desperately wanted to kiss. As you continued to banter for the rest of the night, he could never manage to tear his eyes away from your face and he liked it that way.

As the conversation continued and got more intimate so did your closeness. Now, his lips are mere centimeters from you; feeling his breath ghost your lips...and all you could manage to describe this moment as is intoxicating. His eyes drifted longingly between your lips and eyes before you could just barely feel his lips lift into a smirk. Just then when all else felt like it had disappeared around you and the pale moonlight lit up your figures, he grasped your waist and the impossible became possible as his hand gripped you and pulled you into a kiss; one that ignited something inside of you, inside of himself. Others always described having the kiss from “the one” as fireworks but in reality, it felt different. Fireworks are quick and go out just as they start...this was something entirely more addicting. You’d describe this kiss as tingly, but not the type of tingles you feel when cold, instead, something that engulfs your entire body and you can’t help but feel weak to it. You fall prey to the feeling of warmth and lightheadedness it offers. All the while trying to manage to gasp for air while you can hear your heart beating in your ears. You were almost entirely sure he could probably feel your heart beating out of your chest. “Maybe sometimes slow burn is okay for the plot,” you thought to yourself while still locking lips with the Canadian actor. Was it simply luck that caused you to meet him that fateful day...or was it the universe giving you the answers you needed all your life? The answer is...your spark.

#charlie gillespie #charlie gillespie x y/n #charlie gillespie x reader #x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #third person #jatp fic #coworkers #coworker au #madison reyes #owen joyner #jeremy shada #oneshot #one shot #romance #actor au

[mikaze-discord]

Quartet Night: Love letters

Annnnnd these are the love letters written for Quartet Night!!!

Please enjoy under the cut~

REIJI KOTOBUKI

From Anon:

I've always been drawn to characters with complex (and fairly dark) personalities, so liking Rei-chan was honestly inevitable for me.

He looks like a very bright and cheerful character at first, which he is, but sometimes that part of him is a little misleading because, in actuality, he's a character that holds a lot of negative feelings about himself due to a past that he can't seem to move on from. He holds a lot of those feelings to himself because he doesn't want to burden anyone else with them. He's a reliable, cunning, and ultimately selfless character that chooses to shoulder a lot on his own out of his infinite care for others, and perhaps a secret sense of atonement, all hidden behind his bright demeanor and goofy smile, and it's endlessly interesting to me.

Besides the duality of his personality, he has a lot of other endearing quirks to love about him. He loves his mom a lot and is a mama's boy. His old-man jargon and catchphrases never fail to amuse (I still can't get over the way he says "my girl"). His obsession with anything even remotely British is something my APH England phase can relate to. His style of music brings a lot of pleasant feelings of nostalgia for me, and his pretty voice suits them a lot. And most of all he's just a very good boy overall. I rate 99999 out of 10 would love and support him and also maybe pay for his therapy because god knows he needs it. Happy anniversary!!

From another anon: 

Would you like to hear a story? You do? Very well then, may this story be one you enjoy.

What do I like about Reiji kotobuki? A Lot of things actually!

Well, I've always really liked Reiji as a character as he seemed to be one of the more interesting characters to me, due to how complex he is with his backstory and general just personality.

I have always really enjoyed how Reiji just solves problems too? Like he is just such an outgoing person who deserves all the support!!!

Like the best word I can use for Reiji is just, unique. Everything about him is just so Reiji. From the way he talks, to his nicknames or even his texting style. Like have you seen how many people use emoticons when texting as Reiji? It's just so him.

I like his way of thinking too! I feel like some of the interactions in the games are just so interesting, just seeing Reiji’s point of view. How he deals with a sort of survivor’s guilt and all of that.

Personally, some of my most memorable roleplaying moments were watching a Reiji rper in action, like just seeing them interact and flow so seamlessly with the other characters was just so fascinating to wee baby rper me. Such a large part of playing Reiji is just how you flow with the people around you and comedic timing. I have so many funny moments where Reiji was just interacting with people and it was just so inspirational (?) like I couldn't stop the smile on my face. I had learnt alot from them. I still consider them my roleplaying senpai almost! I don't talk to them anymore but I really had an amazing time just seeing their spin on the character.

I don't find him to be a romantic partner towards me nor do I see any of the characters in that light, but I've always found Reiji as such a personal character. Not even just towards me, like even with other utapri stans. The most relatable character always seems to be Reiji.

I've always been pretty similar in many aspects to him and I often find myself relating to him in numerous ways like his vibe is just relatable! I have often found myself trying to make other people laugh and have fun that many times I'm spreading myself thin and feel unappreciated...Reiji really helped with that.

This is where i start getting into the really personal stuff LOL feel free to skip if you dont wanna hear the angsty backstory.

I had really come to love Reiji when I had just...hit a low. I had a group of friends who I enjoyed hanging out with and just talking to, but they weren't very good friends per say. I often had to schedule every activity we did and I spent days and nights trying to think of concepts that might be fun. They took it for granted.. I had spent 4 months trying to make a game for them, and they had constantly pushed back times that we would play it. Using excuses to not play it, without telling me out right what they did not like or even why. The site I used was later taken down without notice and thus I had lost all my progress. Later, they had mentioned how they would like to play it except that later ended up being two years later. I really wish I could've solved things with that friend group like Quartet Night did but that didn't happen. That is when I started seeing things Reiji’s way? Not to say that it was the same or similar scenario to Reiji but I had just associated it with him.

RANMARU KUROSAKI

From Anon:

Ran is such a fun character! He sounds like a "rough outside, soft inside" kind of character, but his roughness is more like an integral part of him and it's through it that he shows he cares rather than setting it aside. That's what made me want to rp him. I also like how he is such a strong guy who's always determined to do his best in everything he does despite so much having gone wrong in his past. And it's very satisfying to see him form bonds and start to trust people.

From @mikaze-san:

Originally, my favourite Utapri boy was Ai, and it had been the robot boy for several years upon entering the fandom. In fact, it only switched to Ranmaru sometime late last year but regardless, I would still die for this man. Part of the reason why I switched is because I’ve always been a fan of Suzuki Tatsuhisa and I have a huge bias towards any man who wears nail polish without fearing being “feminine” because fuck gender roles.

As someone who studies fashion, I think Ranmaru is very coordinated and confident when it comes to portraying himself that way. He knows he’s not very good at expressing his emotions and utilises his passion for rock and playing the bass to portray those feelings through his songs. It’s also incredibly inspiring to know that he bounces back from pretty much anything considering his backstory and the stuff he deals with in the game/anime.

But my main reason for loving Ranmaru so much stems from the fact that I admire him a lot and want to be more like him. For a long time last year, I got to roleplay as Ranmaru in a few Utapri groups and through those experiences, I gained a better understanding and appreciation of the characters that I wrote for. In some weird way, by highlighting his flaws, character progression and how he dealt with different emotions, I ended up providing insight into how I dealt with similar issues by looking at them from a 3rd person perspective.

I used to be very shy and was very shut off from friends and family, and due to this I’ve always admired people in my life or fictional characters that are so confident in being who they are. Ranmaru particularly struck that chord in me because his bluntness knows no end. He’s very opinionated and doesn’t fear confrontation, in most cases being the one to provoke it. He speaks his mind openly without being overly anxious of the consequences. This is something that I feel is especially relevant today with being your authentic/unapologetic self is such a trend.

It’s something I’ve also noticed with having met people in or outside of this fandom, the notion of idolising a fictional character containing traits that we want to see in ourselves. Which made me think about a lot of my favourite kinds of characters which at the end of the day all boil down to sharing one similar trait: Being a bitch.

And in Utapri, Ranmaru embodies that. So naturally it’s very easy for me to idolise him.

(Tldr: I like his bitchy attitude.)

AI MIKAZE 

From Arashi:

It's hard to put into words why I love Ai Mikaze, perhaps it's because I'm subconsciously drawn to him, maybe it's because his hair and eyes are my favorite color, maybe it's because his voice is that of an angels, there are many reasons why I love him. I couldn't tell you a definite, "These one or two reasons are the entire reason I love him", but I'll try to sum it up.

I grew to love him by admiring his personality, his smile, his determination to reach his goals, everything about him made me happy. He's strict and a little scary at times, but when he sees people caring for him, he becomes happy and in a way, sentimental. He's not sure how to explain the way he feels, but he tries. I think I admire how he holds all the little things precious to his heart as he learns about them, and he wants to understand how to care for others and how they care for them in return. Even after six years, he still remains the most dear to me. I think that he now has a sentimental value to me, because even if I 'loved' another character more for a while, I will always come back to Ai. Ai deserves the world, and I'd give it to him if I could. He'll always be special to me, and I think that he very much deserves that.

From Maronda: 

My love for Ai started after I found Shining Live by chance and started to play. At first I wasn't particularly attached to any of the characters and decided to go back and watch the anime to maybe remember some context other than who Starish was. When I got to the episode focused on Ai and his "secret" I was absolutely thrown off by it all. I ended up feeling like I had so many questions and I knew that the anime would give me little to no answers, so I frequently turned to rambling on the internet about it. Eventually, this fixation on weird things about him seemed to turn into a clear fondness for him, and friends made me realize just how much I liked him. Knowing the cold and often strange aspects of his personality was due to something out of his control was something I resonated with as someone on the autism spectrum. He reminded me of some of the ways I used to think and behave.

I also began to notice other things I loved about him. Things like how soothing I found his voice, the pleasant shade of light blue in his hair and eyes, how ridiculously pretty he is... but the best things are the endearing parts of his personality. Though he's somewhat harsh, he's still entirely genuine. His curiosity is absolutely precious and his occasional awkwardness in expressing emotion or understanding the emotions of others made me empathize with him. And if you look at the Ai in Shining Live and compare it to the Ai in the anime and games... he really has changed a lot and grown as a person. He now seems so much gentler and understanding, and he clearly values the friendships he has now too! I think he's a wonderful character and ever since friends of mine encouraged me to selfship I've essentially been in love with him, but it also makes me happy to see other people appreciate him for other reasons as well. He's just so lovable!

CAMUS

From @uta-no-fakku-sama:

At the very beginning of my UtaPri interest, Camus never really caught my attention. That is until he became my first My Only Prince UR. I’ve come to appreciate him a lot more ever since, and now he’s become my favorite QUARTET NIGHT member! Along the way, I learned more about him and realized he’s one of the more complicated characters to understand. Nonetheless, I absolutely adore him. I tend to tease and make fun of him a lot, but deep down I truly do like him a whole bunch!

From @/waddamaloooon on twt: 

A little Camus appreciation post

(alternatively known as; how this guy managed to harshly take my heart and step on it like the gumin I am.)

Hello, this is Suikamaru, here to share a tiny story of why I, and eventually you, love Camus Rondo Cryzard.

At first glance, his looks appealed to me, but not his behavior (and ironically enough, his voice) so I didn't bat an eye on him. I've always been on a neutral leaning to dislike opinion on Camus, which is quite understandable because have you SEEN the way he acts. Unfathomable.

…..To a Young Suikamaru, that is.

I've grown, so naturally I've changed preferences regarding characters, ikemen, and who to stan and who to avoid like the plague. I will lie if I said that I expected to like that blonde confectionery devouring machine at any point of my life.

But it did happen so who are we fooling here.

It dawned on me that Camus is the type of character that you cannot appreciate unless you go in depth into his lore, backstory, and see him for who he really is. Because then everything else will make sense. And that never happened in my case until I started roleplaying as him.

I realized that he's not just a two faced, sweet toothed mean man. He's a perfectionist, someone who's always been raised since his childhood days to be nothing less than complete, who has locked on his heart and emotions to devote himself completely to the purpose given to him. He has the looks and brains for what though? He should be a little stupid honestly.

But his intelligence gave him the complexity that he just needed for his characteristics. Because as aforementioned, he's not someone to easily like or fall in love with. And I think that's quite rare in characters, and very much appreciated due to the fact it gives the fans a chance to not actually stay on a flat level of knowledge regarding their favorite characters.

I've slowly started to see myself in some aspects of him, which was the number one factor of liking him. Then came the Maeno magic when I realized Camus shares the same VA as another character that I love as well. (Hamelin, from SinoAlice.) From then, everything went downhill.

In a good way. I think..

Well, that is all from me, please read about this handsome man and appreciate his hard work both as an individual and as an idol. There is SO much to him that's p much overlooked and I'm getting broke from spending my money on his living expenses rent free in my head. Take him off my head.

#utapri #utanoprincesama #uta no prince sama #Reiji kotobuki #Kotobuki reiji #Ranmaru kurosaki #utapri camus #ai mikaze #mikaze ai #quartet night

[evakuality]

Mia, episode five

1.  One thing Druck is super good at is these aesthetic shots.  This whole opening bit reminds me of the scene with Amira when she’s praying in her room.  Lots of beautiful shots of the room, curtains and stuff, which are just super pretty with a few hints of colour.  I dunno, this is just an aesthetic I like and I appreciate that Druck caters to me.  Mia is so cute, too!  Like both the way she looks and also how kind she is.  She still doesn’t really like Alex a lot (though you could see in that montage from the previous night that she’s warming up to him) but she still feels like she should leave things looking nice.  These little post-it notes are sort of cute too, and you can see that she thinks they’re sweet.  I don’t like this Bjorn though.

2.  Interesting that we get a clip specifically one week later.  I have no idea how that must have felt while this was live, and I’m really glad that I didn’t have to live through these long gaps in any of the things I did watch in real time.  This one was reasonably low key though, so maybe the wait wasn’t as agonising.  If you didn’t know who Bjorn is (I’m assuming the Niko character) then nothing in the last couple of clips would have felt all that alarming.  But Mia’s so flirty here - that one conversation at his house must have really charmed her.  Pity we didn’t really get to hear a lot of it because he still hasn’t charmed me!!  And actually that ‘show a montage of how things are going while a song and/or other conversation plays overtop’ is a huge thing Druck does, I think.  I feel like in some cases (Matteo and David after their first pool kiss moment, for example, or Hanna and Jonas breaking up) work quite well.  But here, I think we needed to hear more of Alex to actually believe that Mia would be this flirty with him.  For me, this is too big a turnaround from her very cold manner with him at the piano and an actual proper look at that conversation might have helped.  But also, I am super biased because William and so maybe a more reasonable person might like it okay.  This bit with Linn is weird.  Genuinely creepy, and I’m not sure why they’re setting her up to feel like this.  Maybe some sort of hint of the creepiness to come with Bjorn (I’m assuming it’s coming, anyway).

3.  I don’t get this bit with all the pictures at the school.  I assume it will become obvious later but I’m not sure what exactly they were trying to do with this.  You’d think they run the risk of having the whole Abi chaker clan thing shut down - if this happened in my school there’d be so much trouble.  A groups of kids once put post-its all over one teacher’s room and they got in SO much trouble for it, and that wasn’t obscene like this is.  This thing here seems so targeted at the Abi thing, using their plan specifically, that it feels like someone outside the group wants them not to be allowed to run their theme.  Or someone in the group who wants a different motto maybe.  I don’t know, but it feels very mean and very specifically directed at this group of people.

4.  Hmmm, I’m with Leonie on this one.  I’d be giving Carlos the super evil stare too.  It may be ‘funny’ to some of these people, but given that there are younger kids at this school (I assume, right?  They still have classes running for the smaller ones at the end of Matteo’s season, allowing their prank to go ahead) this is sure to go down really badly with the school itself.  I’m rolling my eyes at the ones who are outraged that the school is considering reporting it - what did they expect?  Also, surely they can figure out who was doing it - people were literally throwing handfuls of the pictures over the stairs.  Surely they could work out who it is.  It’s pretty clear that Alex still thinks this is funny and I’m losing patience with him.  Every time it seems like maybe he’s getting less gross he goes and acts like this again.  Bleh.  I’m not often rooting for Leonie and feeling for her, but wow today I really am.  This is shitty and she has a right to be angry.

5.  Ew, Alex, why are you stalking Mia again?  She’s made it pretty clear she’s not happy with you.  Turning up out of the blue like a creep isn’t a good way to go about winning her over again.  His ‘we were drunk, what can you do?’ is so... stupid???  They’ve lost money from this, the school is really angry, they could easily have some pretty bad consequences and he’s all ‘meh, it was a drunken prank’?  I know money isn’t an issue for him, but there are issues here beyond the money.  I’m also kind of annoyed that everyone keeps suggesting she’s upset because she’s jealous.  I’ll be really annoyed if the show carries on this way - this isn’t just a silly little prank, and people have every right to be angry and annoyed.  Diminishing it to jealousy isn’t cool.  Is Leonie also jealous?  The people who are angry and upset they’re being blamed and their money has been taken?

6.  I do love scenes where the whole girl squad is together.  They make me happy and I miss seeing them together so much.  But OMG, Alex is blackmailing Mia again????  I mean I guess it worked the first time so why wouldn’t he?  But this is seriously shitty behaviour.  Honestly, in clip one I was mildly starting to warm to him with the post-its and all, but he’s managed to speed run right back into ‘asshole’ category.  This was the problem in the og as well - William was such an asshole, that in order to make him likeable, we had to see a much more genuinely villainous character.  Alex is still super dislikeable and so we need someone ‘worse’ to make him look palatable, which I assume is coming.  We’re halfway through - we should like him by now.  I dunno.  Maybe some people do?  But he still has done nothing to make me think he’s nice or someone who Mia might be attracted to.

7.  Oh a long Friday clip?  Almost half the episode?  I guess it’s going to be a rough one for Mia then.  More reflections again - her whole face in the mirror now, but it’s surrounded by graffiti.  I’m always fascinated by the way mirrors and reflections work, and it’s fun to see Mia slightly obscured in her mirrors even now.  It’s not as disjointed as it was at the start but it’s not a fully clear reflection either.  I may not like the way Noora/Mia’s story goes but I do like some of these things which show the progress.

8.  I feel kind of sorry for Jonas, because that break up wasn’t his choice.  But seriously, he seems to be blaming this on Hanna a bit and like ????? He chose to make her feel small and unworthy through her whole season.  She’s allowed to try to figure herself out outside of him and his wants and needs.  Eh, I know he’s hurting and all, but that’s actually his issue and he shouldn’t be pushing it on her.

9.  This scene with Mia and Alex bothers me.  He still seems to have no idea why she might find his actions (selfish and self-serving and filled with blackmail) offputting.  ‘I fixed it, so we should totally be together now’ is such an immature and childish take on this.  These types of guys need to grow up and learn that they can’t just buy and/or coerce their way into whatever they want.  I like the way they decide to have Kiki walk past just as Mia has to choose whether to say she doesn’t want Alex or not.  It adds a poignancy to it and Mia obviously chooses to stick by her friends.  I do wish it felt more conflicting, like if Alex genuinely had changed or had shown he has depth or something it would be a bigger ‘wow she’s rejecting him for her friend’ but instead he’s still such an unpleasant character that I don’t care.

10.  I’m not sure why Mia does the brushing off of the makeup - I feel like it made more sense when Noora did it (I mean I watched it once a very long time ago so who knows, but my memory is that it was her way of trying to reject being ‘pretty’ and having guys liking her because it was messing her up).  With Mia, I don’t understand.  Someone help me out?

11.  I still don’t get what Mia sees in Alex.  Again, I know I have a really big bias against him because of William and I know it was always going to be tough for him to be someone I care about.  But even so, this feels like a huge whiplash when she says of course she likes him.  I’d get it if we’d seen any of his development, but every time he took a mini step forward he shoved himself right back into dislikeable territory.  Once again, I mourn the actual conversation between Mia and Alex.  This all feels far too fast, and the fact that this is suggesting his blackmail is all good is very worrying.  All the post-it notes in the world can’t make me think he’s nice enough to want to kiss.

Overall, I didn’t really like this one.  I feel like the pacing is still off; I don’t believe the speed at which Mia has fallen for him and honestly it hasn’t been very long since Kiki was with Alex and had her heart broken.  The fact that Mia even saw her and told him she doesn’t like him only to turn around immediately and change her mind is strange to me.  Mia has always come across as a caring person who tries to do the right thing and help out her friends.  That she has apparently no qualms at this point is difficult for me.  They’re acting the hell out of this, but I can’t buy it.  Unfortunately.  Sadly, because this is based on a very flawed original, I don’t think it’s going to make me enjoy these two.  There are things that I’m interested in seeing as we go forward but most of those have zero to do with Alex.

#druck #mia - episode 5 #didn't like this one #update on feelings about Alex - still don't like him #honestly I don't see why Mia goes after him #none of this makes sense to me

[antihero-writings]

Little Domi and Noé fic @phmonth2021's vnc countdown day 7: the de Sades. And also this prompt over on my ph & vnc blog!

*Aggressively spams the Domi needs appreciation button*

Noé’s brow was creased, his hand to his chin,

“If you keep thinking that hard, your thoughts might decide to start walking out of your head.”

“Sorry, Teacher.”

“No need to apologize,” his teacher laughed, more than anything at Noés mundane reaction at such a strange statement, “I just thought your head might appreciate a little relief. Come now, let’s look at the options over here!“ He beckoned him to the next part of the store. “What do you think?”

Noé observed the dresses towering above him, trying not to think too hard this time. He didn’t want to say he didn’t like them till he gave them a proper think over.

Then he turned to the side…and saw it.

A dress of brilliant gold, with flowers, butterflies and bows—though nothing too terribly lavish, just perfect little accents.

Noé’s eyes became stars, and his hands became triumphant fists at his sides.

“That one.” He pointed like an explorer who’d found land.

His Teacher raised an eyebrow, lifting his head to find the object of fascination. “Ah! You have taste, my dear Noé! A fine piece!”—He called for assistance—“Our dear Dominique will look lovely in that.”

He agreed. Even with her hair like that, and her eyes all sad, she would look beautiful in this. He could only hope she would be able to see it too.

*

Noé sat in a chair in Dominique’s room, swinging his legs back and forth, waiting patiently, but determinedly.

Domi came in what might have been minutes, but felt like hours later. It still made him sad to see her hair so short, and her eyes ever glazed. Gold looked better when it was allowed to shine.

She was still wearing Louis’ waistcoat.

Noé shot up at her arrival and Domi’s eyes widened upon seeing him there.

“I have—!" He fumbled with the box, almost dropping it, but managed to regain composure, holding it out to her. “I have something for you!”

Domi didn’t say anything. The curiosity in her eyes was almost imperceptible beneath that glaze, but it was there. She took the lid off the box and observed the article within. Her eyes widened, and she looked from it to Noé.

“Domi, would you please join me for dinner tonight?”

“Huh? We always have dinner together.” Her voice was low and soft.

He smiled, though there was something sad in his eyes at hearing her voice. “Yes, but tonight’s special! I know this request might seem a little strange, but I would like you to meet me in the woods later!” He pulled a badly drawn map of the forest out of his pocket and pointed at an over-exaggerated X on it. “At this location!” He looked up at her, and the look in his eyes told her she couldn’t refuse. “Will you?”

Domi’s brow furrowed. “You haven’t lost it have you, Noé?”

“Please let me know if I have! Teacher says if I think too hard my thoughts might walk right out of my head!”

“He was just saying that.”

“We can only hope, but I still don’t want to chance it.”

*

Domi’s thoughts frayed as she looked at herself in that golden dress. Like a rope that isn’t quite sure it can hold onto anything.

It was Louis. It was supposed to be Louis.

Why did they pick her? Why? Why was he cursed, and she blessed? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair they had to choose. Choices were for ice cream flavors, and what book you wanted to read, not for brothers and sisters.

Not for twins.

That word gummed up her mouth, even when she didn’t say it aloud.

Twins. She and Louis, twins. Part of her still couldn’t believe it, and the other part of her could only believe it.

That word had one benefit. With her hair cut, and wearing his clothes, she could pass for him.

Which was surely what everyone wanted. All as it should have been.

She could pretend to be Louis. And pretending to be Louis was…better that truly being Domi…wasn’t it?

So…why did Noé want her to wear this dress? Didn’t Noé prefer her looking like Louis?

“I like it when you have your hair long too. It feels so much like you’re Domi, then, and…I really like it.”

Or perhaps…

Would he like that? Would he really?

She looked at herself in this dress and she thought in some far-off part of her brain that, perhaps she was beautiful. And perhaps he picked this dress because he knew she would like it, and he knew she would look nice in it.

But she would have looked better in it if her hair were longer.

*

Noé was so glad to have Domi.

He missed Louis, and he wanted Louis back, certainly. But he was glad to have Domi, and he wanted Domi to be, well, Domi. She was no pale imitation of her brother, and didn’t deserve to be treated as such.

It made him so sad to see her cut her hair, and put herself in Louis’ clothes. It made him so sad that she thought that’s what she was, what they all wanted.

He had to show her he appreciated her.

He waited in his chair at the table with equally determined, yet barely simmering excitement.

Noé had once read a book Teacher brought from the human world in which a group of mad characters had tea in the forest. Noé thought it was rather fantastic idea, and asked Teacher if they could accomplish such a thing. The table had to be long, and the tea had to be all over it, with lots of cakes too. Teacher laughed, saidWhat an amusing notion, and that he was sure he could set something up.

Noé wasn’t sure exactly how, but when he and Murr entered the forest, was delighted to find it almost exactly as he’d pictured. (Okay, not exactly. There was more substantial dinner food than tea, and not nearly enough desserts, but still.)

When Domi came through the forest Noé stood up, like she was a princess who deserved respect. And he wouldn’t say she didn’t look like it; he had made the right choice. The short hair looked kind of nice with it.

“You look great!” He pumped his fist at his side again.

Domi looked at the ground, but brushed her hair behind her ear.

“Why are we doing this?” She asked, but her eyes scanned the table and the dishes with that barely perceptible curiosity.

“It’s for you!”

“I mean what are we celebrating?”

“Uhh, we’re celebrating you, then, I guess!” Noé continued determinedly, pulling out a chair for Domi, as Teacher poured some blood into her goblet.

“But it’s not my birthday.” She continued looking at the setup as she sat down.

“Why does it have to be for us to want to celebrate you?” Noé sat down in another chair next to hers.

Domi’s eyes widened, and her eyes changed as she observed the table, becoming more awed, with an almost tearful shimmer to them.

When she turned back to look at Noé, for the first time since Louis’ death, he thought he really was really seeing Domi.

*

<-Day 8: Noé and/or Murr Day 6: The Royals->

#noe archiviste #Dominique de sade #vnc fanfiction #vanitas no carte fanfiction #vnc fic #vnc fanfic #vnc #vanitas no carte #vanitas no carte anime #vanitas no shuki #les mémoires de vanitas #noé archiviste #vnc countdown #louis de sade #vanitas #the case study of vanitas

[ask-mortarion-the-death-lord]

eh just for fun, quick ranking of my personal opinion on each traitor legion/chaos bois. Note that my feelings on the legions dont strictly speak reflect on my feelings of the modern chaos bois nor on each of the traitor primarchs themselves:

1. word bearers. one of the more proactive chaos groups of the setting, well they've settled down by the time of 40k as it were i find the overall trajectory of their 'collective story' as it were quite fascinating. plus, they just undeniably have one of the best aesthetics of the setting sitting halfway between Satanists and god fearing roman Catholics. it also helps that they're the most prone to not actually playing by 'the chaos rules' as it were [ironically], with their characters sporting a wide variety of modus compared to other legions [from what ive noticed anyways] and acting in ways more so driven by individual characterization and motive then just I AM A CHAOS BOI OF [LEGION] AND A FOLLOWER OF [CHAOS GOD] AND SO I WILL NOW ACT IN THAT SPECIFIC WAY.

2. iron warriors. my reasons for liking them are simple. BIG BOMB MAKE EXPLOSION BOOOOM! there is certainly a good thread of dramatic depth to follow with them dont get me wrong. the sheer bitter hatred and resentment at basically being the smelly plumbers of the great crusades office workers makes for some interesting facets. I just wish they werent such an afterthought i suppose.

3. death guard. mortarions my boi, but ive had the hardest time liking the modern 40k death guard simply because im not actually that big a fan of nurgle himself. mostly because they lean to much into gross out humor with the god of plagues which i am not here for. that said, the heresy era death guard i really like, and the modern death guard have grown on me over time, especially since like the word bearers [and the iron warriors really] they have a growing tendency to act unconventionally compared to what you would expect of them.

4. black legion. the big sad bois in many ways and the unfortunate receptors and bearers of 'the wonder bread chaos space marine faction'. i really dig the more personal stories of angst and betrayal going on under the surface but visually they just dont do it for me bare their heresy era look being kinda neat with the ghomas eyes all over the fuckin place. and as a whole, sometimes vanillas the generic flavor for a reason, because it can be actually rather tasty.

5. emperors children. ive always loved the emperors children 40k look, its what drew me to the franchise to begin with alongside the tau. it frustrates me then that they might as well not exist, and the less slaanesh corrupted they are the less fascinating i feel they actually are as a faction visually and even to an extent narrative wise.

6. thousand sons. i love a good ancient Egyptian themed faction as much as the next guy, so i have nothing to complain about in terms of visuals. its more so story i suppose that bugs me, for all the effort and time thats clearly been put into their story i cant help the feeling thats its all a little overblown for what its actually worth. are they a legion damned by their own search for knowledge? the unluckiest sons of bitches around forced into damnation by circumstance? like mortarion everyone seems determined to have it their way, unlike mortarion i dont feel it ends up working inspite of that tug of war.

7. world eaters. KHOOOOOORNNNNNE! the guys i feel suffer the most from 'are chaos [in this case khorne] worshippers so they act a specific way' problem. mostly cause EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM seems like it was designed to shot punt them into the role of the khorne traitors as fast and seamlessly as possible. theres some interesting aspects to be considered certainly, but they almost seem by accident at time.

8. alpha legion. well i really do like the aesthetic, like really like it, i feel they're a dud of a faction specifically because of the whole 'closet loyalist' meme. its something thats arguably been internalized by the writers themselves, and it really does drag the faction down as a whole [if your faction sells itself on being effectively a mystery box that remains closed then ya dont have a lot of room to write interesting stories and characters with em do ya?]. which again, shame cause i like the aesthetic of the alpha legion.

9. night lords. much as i hate to say it, i feel the night lords in particular are overblown. i would still say i like them more then the loyalist factions mind, just that for all the angst and drama that they seem to want to inject the faction with it all falls a little flat for me and it ends up wrapping around to this weird state where i can only effectively regard them as an emo rock band in space as opposed to the mix of tortured psychics and bloodthirsty lunatics they're suppose to be. what does not help as well is the aesthetic, i am not a fan and its always come off as a bit cheap to me.

[natromanxoff]

Jackie Magazine - 1976

Roger

John 

Freddie

If it’s hard to read, transcription is under the cut. 

BRIAN MAY, born on July 19, 1947 is a true Cancerian -- a fact that’s obvious even from the back of a concert hall. He’s absolutely typical of his sign -- kind, quiet, and thoughtful, and you can tell that when you watch him onstage, standing at the side, leaving the showmanship to Freddie, and just concentrating totally on playing his guitar.

Another characteristic of Canceriands is that they tend to be delicate -- and that’s certainly true of Brian. 6 feet 3 inches tall, and very thin, with a head of black curls framing hispale face, he looks somehow fragile -- the kind of person lots of girls want to mother!

In fact, Brian is one of those people who seem to be constantly in the wars. On Queen's first American tour, he was taken seriously ill with hepatitis and was told to take it easy for a whole year. Then, almost at once, the doctors discovered he had a bad stomach ulcer which had to be opeated on.

"That was probably my own fault," Brian told me. "In America, and for a long time before that, I’d continuously eaten all the wrong type of food. I used to eat cornflakes and cakes and rubbish foods. I never got fat, you see, and so that’s the sort of thing I existed on. "Since the ulcer I’ve had to be more careful. I eat little and often, and the right things. I drink milk, and try not to drink without eating."

During Queen's last big tour of Britain, Brian was  looked after and nursed by the group’s personal masseur, Stephen. Every day, he woke up each of the group at the right time with a proper, protein-packed breakfast -- and he kept trying to persuade Brian to eat health-giving wheatgerm!

"So healthwise, I was just fine," said Brian. "Except for time I fell off the wooden clogs I always wear and twisted my ankle!"

All of Queen are clever, but Brian is perhaps the most intelligent member of the group. He’s a qualified astronomer, and was recently offered a place on a space exploration trip -- a privilege which was given to only very top astronomers. And that’s just what Brian is - potentially one of Britain’s best men in the field of astronomy!

But although he's still trying to write a post-graduate thesis when he can find the time, Brian's involvement with Queen means he just doesn’t have enough time for astronomy these days. "I do have a telescope on my flat," he told me, "but since it's in the basement, it isn’t really a lot of help! And the nearest I’ve got to astronomy recently was when I went to the astronomers’ Christmas party!”

So for the moment, he contents himself with going on holiday to Tenerife whenever he can. Two friends of his have set up an observatory there, and Brian spends his holidays gazing up into the night sky. In fact, he’s fascinating to be with when it’s a clear night, because he can name every star in the sky, plus the planets, and even their lakes and even craters! His specialty is dust layers on planets, which is what he and his Tenerife friends study.

And he’s passed on some of his interest to the others in the group. When they rehearse down at Ridge Farm, an old Tudor house near Dorking, in Surrey, Brian always keeps them up till all hours, showing them points of interest through the telescope there.

When he is at home, which doesn’t seem to be often at these days, Brian lives in a homely little basement flat in Kensington. The flat shows a lot about his character. Most of the things in it are old and treasured, Brian hates change. The living room is dominated by an enormous old harmonium (it looks a bit like an organ), which Brian carefully dismantled and then put together again. Of course, to someone who made his guitar out of an old fireplace, as Brian also did, a harmonium is no problem!

Leaping about all over the flat is his slightly ferocious black cat, Smokey. And everywhere, there are penguins! 

"I've always been fascinated by penguins," laughed Brian, "and as soon as that got out to the fans, they started sending them in by the hundred! I’ve got penguin brooches, knitted penguins, felt ones, wooden ones -- you name it. I’ve got it! I love them all, but my favorites are probably the brooch I wear on my jacket, and the one on my guitar case. "

Outside the flat sits Brian's one big luxury -- a flashy red sports car. But apart from that, his life is quiet and definitely unflashy. 

When I’m at home, I like to stay there,” he said. “I play music, read a lot and poster(?) about the flat -- and that’s about it!”

If any of his musician friends are playing nearby, he’ll go along to watch them.

Although he doesn’t know many people in the music business, he does have a few close friends -- including Slade, Black Sabbath, and Ian Hunter.

AND of course, Brian works, even when he’s at home. The group’s never forgotten for long.

He takes a great deal of care over his songwriting, and always makes sure he has his facts right -- for instance, when he wrote "The Prophet's Song" for "A Night At The Opera," he stayed up all night, reading the Bible. 

"I worry a lot about the details," he said. "In fact, I worry about everything! I can't help it - it's just the way I am. And then other people tend to worry about me, because I look so mournful, and so it goes on!”

Brian also worries about the way he looks onstage. His favorite colors are black and white, which have just the right dramatic effect. His best-known stage costume is the flowing tunic which was designed for him by the famous designer Zandra Rhodes. And on the last tour, he wore a beautiful doublet top he’d commissioned himself.

"It was an exact replica of an Elizabethan top I saw in the Victoria and Albert Museum,” he said, “I liked it so much that I commissioned a designer to make me one like it. It was really beautiful. It took months to make and it cost me a fortune, but I think it was worth it! "

And that’s typical of Brian. When he cares about something, no effort is too great. He's a perfectionist - and it shows in his music!

Next week - Roger Taylor

#queen #queen band #brian may #queen scans #jackie 1976

[themarvellouswriter]

TEAR YOU APART

DAMON SALVATORE X DARK HYBRID! FEM! READER

Summary: The reader is Niklaus Mikaelson’s full sister, an Original hybrid. Having known the older Salvatore brother in the 1920s, she finds herself erasing his memory of them together before disappearing with her siblings. Time skip to the present, she is back in Mystic Falls and eager to take back what was hers.

Genres: Smut, angst and overall darkness. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE YOUNGER THAN 21 AND/OR EASILY TRIGGERED.

Words: 6.1k

Notes: This is dark and talks about killing nearly the entire group of the Mystic Falls kids. Not going to lie, you will not like this fic if you like that gang. Set in S2 near the end. Major canon divergence. Also, not beta read.

Warnings: 21+ Dub Con. Non Con. Character Death. Swearing. Blood. Gore. A mildly toxic relationship. Death mentions. Murder. Lots of torture. Maiming. Possessiveness. Blood play. Ugly, ugly jealousy. Emotional manipulation. This is bad, traumatic stuff I’m warning you in advance.  

Present Day 

Y/N smirked to herself as she walked towards the Mystic Grill. Klaus and her plan to break the Moonstone curse was going along swimmingly. They had all the ingredients for the spell. A vampire, a werewolf and a doppelgänger. They needed two of each just to be on the safer side so she’d found another, Tom Avery, Stefan’s doppelgänger. Although it would be a shame to kill such a pretty face, this was for the greater good. It was much easier to find werewolves. Vampires could always be made so that was nothing to worry about.

She walked inside and took a seat at the bar, knowing it was about time that Damon would show up for their nightly sessions. She’d allowed herself a small victory in knowing that she had compelled him to forget about her as soon as their time was up. He would remember everything all in due time but for now she would reassure herself in the feeling of tearing everyone apart. For the greater good of course. All for the greater good.

She hears his familiar footsteps as he sits down next to her after ordering his drink. She gives him a smile, aware of all the prying eyes on them. “You look lovely as always, pretty one.” He raises an eyebrow at her. “I know, sweetheart. And you’re a nutcase. And this is coming from me.” She looks at him amused. “And what makes you say that?”  “You’ve been making and killing vampires for sport all week. How the hell do you expect me to look at you like you’re not the deranged psychopathic bitch you are?” She shrugs slightly, standing up. “Never denied it. Come on now, lover. Things to be done before daybreak.” He looks at her incredulously, sipping his drink. “You’re going to let a big bad vampire be alone with you?” “I keep forgetting nobody knows that I’m an Original. It’s adorable really.” She gives him a charming smile as she compels him. “Get up and follow me outside in a few.” She quickly leaves after paying her tab because she was nice that way. She found herself on the roofs, easily jumping here and there. Getting Damon alone was harder than you’d think. Always the centre of the crowd and enjoying the people around him. That was one of the first things that had drawn her to him in the first place.

Chicago, 1922

Leaving her siblings and their new friend Stefan Salvatore in a separate corner of their speakeasy, Y/N made her way to the dark, curly haired man sitting at the bar and flirting with the women flocking around him. He was extremely good looking, she’d give him that and the way he held everyone’s attention was fascinating.

She walked up to him, dismissing the other patrons with a wave of her hand and giving him a charming smile. “Y/N Mikaelson.” “Damon Salvatore.” He gave her a quick once over, noting that she was one of the three people who were drinking with his brother. Her eyes sparkle in delight. “I’m assuming that the handsome Ripper there is your brother?” He rolls his eyes. “It’s pretty obvious that I’m hotter one. And saner too, vampire. Not that its any of your business since you’re one of the people corrupting him.” She lets out a soft laugh. “You love the corruption otherwise you’d have done something about it by now.” She leaned in close to him, brushing her thumb over his sharp cheekbones and looking into his eyes. “Such a pretty thing. So fragile too.” She grins, moving away. “It’s late, isn’t it? Walk me back to my house please. It is quite unladylike to be wandering about the city alone.” He blinks, slightly taken aback by her behaviour, not used to being left speechless with such sudden change in one’s actions. “Right. I’m sure a vampire like you can take of yourself.” Her grin widens. “Of course. But I insist.” He finds himself getting to his feet and holding out an arm for her. The second she pressed herself into his side, letting him escort her back to the Mikaelsons’ residence, he felt a sudden surge of warmth and protectiveness as he looked at her. She was different and something told him that time with her would be unforgettable. Unusual but he didn’t feel like he minded. She stopped outside the door pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek and promising that she would be seeing him again soon as she left him standing outside looking vaguely unsure about what had happened.

Present Day

Y/N turned around and grinned at Damon’s face as he approached her, his guard up. “You should remember everything now, lover.” She says once she’s sure that they’re alone. His eyes glaze over before zeroing in on her. She nearly tackled him, throwing herself into his arms. “I don’t like her touching you.” He buries his nose in her hair, sighing softly. “Me neither, Y/N. I still don’t understand why you’re doing this.” She looks at him sceptically. “I told you. I need to break the curse so I can take control of my full power.” He sighs again. “You’re perfect for me, I don’t want any of this. We could go run away together and never look back.” She shakes her head, growing irritated. “We’ve had this conversation before. I’m not in the mood to do it again. It’s for the greater good.” He rolls his eyes. “You and your greater good. I want you, not your wild agendas.” She hits his shoulder lightly. “You get all of me.” “I am painfully aware Y/N. This needs to be over fast.” “It will be done in a few weeks. I promise.” “And then I want you to tell me why you ran from me in Chicago and why you compelled me to forget you.” “All in due time lover. I sense that you’re being missed by the little Gilberts. You should leave now that they need their little baby sitter.” “When will I see you you again?” “When I break the curse of course. I won’t let you or Stefan be sacrificed. You’re too good for this world.” “I disagree. I’m a big, bad vampire who eats puppies for breakfast.” She snorts, cupping his face to kiss him deeply. “Cute. You’re mine. And I’m going to make sure everyone, including you, knows it. Now go and forget who I am to you.” She promises, her voice laced with bitterness as she puts the compulsion back in place. She gives him one last, slightly forced smile before disappearing into the night, leaving him alone wondering what he was doing there before heading back to the Salvatore Boarding House.

She finds him alone a few days later, cornering him in the woods as he fed from a poor soul. She smirked coldly as she saw him drop the half dead, withering human to the ground, blood dripping from his mouth. “You always did look better with blood over you.” “Honestly Y/N it’s like you’re following me around.” Her mood sours at his words. “You’ve been kissing and declaring your love for the doppelgänger. I don’t like it so that’s why I’m keeping a close eye on you.” He doesn’t bat an eye. “I do love her. Elena is a beautiful soul once you get to know her.” She clenches her jaw, wrapping her fingers around his neck and slamming him into a tree. “You don’t. Because the only one you’re allowed to love is me.” He raises an eyebrow, not fighting back. “I love you too but with Elena it’s different. I’m never going to get her.” “That’s right. It’s different because you need to stay away from her. If I see you even look at her like you do all tenderly, you’re not going to like what I do to you.” “Ooh, kinky.” He manages to say. Her grip on his throat tightens as he tries to push her off of him in vain. She growls. “Stay the fuck away from her. You’re mine. Do I need to show you?” He feels his vision blur, if she went on like this she was going to end up killing him temporarily. “It has been decades since you showed me, hasn’t it?” She partially shifts, her fangs out as she glares at him, letting go of her grip on his neck and ripping off the front of his black shirt and shredding his jacket. “Fuck you, Damon Salvatore.” She snarls tossing the torn clothes aside and digging her fingers into his collarbones dragging them down to the waistband of his jeans, leaving thin trails of blood in their wake. He barely manages to control a soft moan at her actions. He enjoyed being used even though he would never admit it out loud but somehow she knew. She always knew what he wanted and what he didn’t and this was one of those times. “Y/N.” He whispered quietly. “Shut the hell up Salvatore.” She snapped back, getting on her knees and pulling down his jeans. “You need a reminder. You belong to me and I am not going take you pining over that daft bimbo of a doppelgänger like some sort of silent watcher.”

She traces a path up his thighs, marking his pale skin with her fangs, knowing they’d take a bit longer to heal because of her werewolf side. If he wanted to go out and flirt and kiss others in front of her, well she was going to make him regret everything. “I own you and you don’t have a say in anything I do to you.” Minus their safe-words of course. “Yes you do. And I love it when you get all demanding when I get around.” Her grip on his thigh tightens almost painfully, bruising his skin. “Did I or did I not tell you to shut up?” She hisses. “You might have mentioned it.” He says shrugging, trying not to get affected by the image of her kneeling in front of him, the moonlight hitting just right and making her glow in the darkness. Perfect features, sharp eyes, fangs dripping his blood and blood smeared fingers now wrapped around his length. “Are you going to shut up or do I need to remind you what happens when you don’t obey?” She hisses, slowly moving her hand up and down his hardening member and drawing out a long moan from him as he muttered profanities under his breath. “I’m sorry.” His voice came out rougher than he expected and her mouth twisted into a tight smile. “Beg. You know the drill don’t you, lover?” Her voice was sweet like she wouldn’t leave him all riled up and bleeding with no way to let out his tension. He nods, pulling her up to her feet and guiding her free hand to wrap around his neck and wrapping his arm around her waist his free hand sliding up her thigh. “I’m sorry that I did it. Nobody can ever replace you. You own me and I would do anything for you.” He looks at her in the eyes, meaning every word. She doesn’t say anything, silencing him with a sloppy kiss and licking the blood away from his mouth. She increased the pace of her ministrations bringing him closer and closer to the edge, the barely breathing human lying forgotten next to them. He moaned against her skin, her name falling like prayer from his lips as he finally came undone in her hand, chest heaving with the exertion and face flushed as he looked her.

She kissed him once again before stepping away. “Finish the blood bag will you. I don’t like moving food.” She says nonchalantly, licking her fingers. He stares at her, half indignant as he comes down from his high. “You’re seriously not going to let me fuck you?” She tuts disapprovingly. “After the ritual. And you still have to make up to me for messing around with the doppelgänger.” He sighs, pulling up the trembling body and ripping the head clean off and throwing it at her feet before licking off the blood dripping down the neck. She gives him a placating smile. “You would’ve had you not declared your undying love for her. And here we are. I will see you in three days under the full moon.” She says flatly, ignoring the hurt in his expression as she walked away, the compulsion falling back into place as she disappears from sight. He looks down at the body horrified and then at his shredded clothes and then the blood still pouring from the thin lines over his chest, unable to wrap his head around the fact that he’d somehow become a ripper and then forgotten all about it. He shakily made his way back to the Salvatore Boarding House in the early hours of the morning after burying the body. He was still shaking as he curled up in his bed, ignoring Stefan and Elena who were talking in hushed whispers about his odd behaviour. He was missing hours from his memory and he had no clue how it was possible, he’d made sure to stay away from all Originals but somehow it was affecting him and his sanity. His thoughts plagued him as he slowly drifted off into a restless sleep.

~~~~~~~~~

The witch, Greta Martin, had started doing the spell. The two vampires, a freshly turned Jenna and Katherine, the two werewolves, Jules and Tyler, and the two doppelgängers, Elena and Tom. Y/N resisted the urge to laugh. They’d thought they needed one of each but they didn’t know that two curses were going to be broken tonight. Bonnie Bennett and the younger Gilbert, Jeremy or whatever his name was, along with a few measly humans, Matt and something or the other, and Caroline were working on a way to save everyone. But there was no saving anyone when the Mikaelsons had decided they were going to die.

Stefan Salvatore was such a noble soul, bless his little heart, wanting to replace Jenna with himself. Y/N and Niklaus exchanged amused smiles before compelling him to watch the ritual and see them shift into their wolf forms. They had just removed the hearts of the wolves and staked the vampires when a slightly pale faced Damon appeared, trying to call off the ritual. Feeling a sudden surge of anger at the hold the annoying doppelgänger had on the brothers, Y/N pulled her towards herself and sank her teeth into her neck, draining her of all her blood as the Salvatores watched her in a mix of rage and horror as she dropped her body to the ground, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and looking at them pointedly. Niklaus had killed Tom and was waiting for the rest of the spell to finish when Bonnie stepped in from the trees and Damon used her appearance to his advantage to snap the witch’s neck, ending the spell. The Mikaelsons let out a scream of barely controlled fury and pain as Bonnie used her magic to fling them both against the trees. The older Salvatore didn’t even look twice at Y/N, cradling Elena’s limp body as she stirred, Bonnie’s spell having resurrected her.

Y/N felt smug satisfaction as Bonnie’s strength waned after holding two Originals in place and performing an extremely powerful spell to swap lives. Ripping free from her spell she slowly got to her feet, resisting the urge to shift and run around like Niklaus had done. Now was her chance to make them suffer. And suffer they would. She marched up to a surprised Bonnie, pulling her heart out as she fell to the ground, immediately dead. She gave Stefan an icy glare before yanking Damon away from Elena who was staring up at him wide eyed and slack jawed. “God. How I hate your pathetic family. Your line has brought nothing but bad news for my brothers, always fighting over Tatia or Katerina and now your stupid ass.” She spits out before turning to face Damon. “You absolute dumbass, so many warnings I have to give to stay away from her and yet you follow her around like a puppy.” She grips his face, making him look into her eyes. “Stay and watch and I want to hear you scream while I show you what I do to people who I hate.” Her gaze flicks over to Stefan. “You too Stefan, my sister doesn’t take kindly to cheaters.”

Damon stands, unable to move as he watches Y/N practically lose it. “Stop all your crazy, woman. You lost.” She lets out a cold laugh, caressing his face and making him look at Elena’s terrified face. “You know I never lose, lover. You’ve seen me kill way too many people.” She murmurs in his ear, making sure everyone could hear her. She pulls Elena up to her feet, defiant till the last minute. “Go to hell, Y/N.” “Been there done that sweetheart, where do you think I came from?” She practically purrs, slowly almost lovingly, biting her neck again. “You’re so lucky we need your blood. I know so many ways to get all of it.” She says against her skin as the Salvatores watch her, revolted. She maintains eye contact with Damon as she drags the kicking and screaming doppelgänger to the altar and shoving her down on the ground, hearing a satisfying crack as her spine shattered at the force. Y/N looked at Damon, eyebrow raised. “She’s paralysed now. Still want this fragile, useless creature? Pathetic.” She crushes her left knee under her heel as Elena screams loudly. She looks at her irritated, compelling her to stay quiet. “Shut up. I want to hear my love scream as I break you. You’re not going to die yet. But you’ll wish you were dead I assure you.” She promises. She kicks her arms above her head as she breaks her shoulders. Damon feels tears come to his eyes as watches the scene unfold before him. The woman he loved get tortured by a deranged Mikaelson. Y/N looks at him inwardly delighted. “Crying so soon D? I haven’t even started yet. The human body has 206 bones. I’ve only broken about eight so far.” She says thoughtfully turning her attention back to Elena’s trembling form. “Stop. Please. I can’t watch anymore.” She pretends to think for a moment, playing with her fingers. “Hmm. I don’t think so.” She harshly breaks them, twisting them in odd angles as tears stream down the doppelgänger’s face.

Damon looks away before turning to glare at her, eyes blazing. “I’m going to kill you myself.” “Good luck sweetheart.” She says unbothered, breaking her elbow and bending it at an awkward angle. “Now all you have to do is wait for a few hours.” She says thoughtfully, pulling out her phone to text another witch to come and drain Elena of her blood in front of Damon. She stretches, pulling off her jacket and tossing it at him before turning to Stefan. “Sleep. You can wake up when I turn back.” Stefan falls to the ground, unmoving and limp. Damon seethes in his place, trying to force himself to break out of the compulsion and tear Y/N apart with his bare hands. Unfortunately, the affects of the werewolf bite were starting to get to him and with the pain, emotional trauma of watching Elena get tortured in front of him was too much. Y/N stripped down to nothing, walking over to him and running her hands down his chest as he let out a low, guttural growl at her actions, trying to back away. She laughs, blood dripping down her chin and running down her chest, distracting him from his previous thoughts. This was not supposed to be attractive! He was supposed to despise her and kill her for hurting the people he cared about, albeit grudging care. She noticed his gaze and smirked, slightly shaking her head. “Even compelled...” He tears his eyes from her body, turning the full force of his glare towards her. “I hate you.” He says bitterly. “No, you don’t, lover. As punishment for your idiocy, you have to watch her die in excruciating pain.” She says sweetly, as if offering him a treat. She ruffles his hair affectionately. “I am just anticipating the angry sex after this. Beautiful.” She takes a few steps away, falling to her hands and knees as the change begins. And then nothing as she tears off into the darkness leaving Damon to watch Elena slowly die as the new witch came to drain her, Stefan lying near him, unmoving.

He was shaking, livid and in so much pain. As much as he wanted to stop watching Elena slowly die in front of him, he couldn’t tear his eyes away, feeling his heart shatter as he started to hallucinate because of the bite, feeling his fangs come out against his will. The Sun had risen, Elena’s breathing laboured and her mouth forming words, reassurances but not a sound coming out. It would be so easy to just flip the switch. Not feel anything ever again. He tightly shut his eyes, trying to block everything out when he felt a warm palm pressed against his back. Y/N. He was so ready to kill her or die trying. She was standing beside him, chin resting against his shoulder as she watched Elena slowly ebb away. It was a downright miracle that she was still alive. “I admire your tenacity doppelgänger. But unfortunately, it’s not going to help you today.” She says, ruffling Damon’s hair who flinched from her touch.  “See, pretty one? This is what happens when you disobey.” She murmurs, cutting open her wrist and holding it to his mouth, forcing him to drink her blood, healing him. She hadn’t bothered getting dressed, kneeling beside Elena and feeding her some of her blood to prolong her life, feeling his angry gaze on her back as she snapped all the broken bones in place. She turned around to give him a soft smile. “Come on now, lover. Don’t you want to see what she feels like? Like you’ve been aching for her touch?”

He takes reluctant steps towards them, looking pleadingly at Elena who swayed on her feet. “Don’t move now doppelgänger. I’m not done yet.” Y/N’s voice comes out sharp and demanding as she compels her. “See, I’ve known the Salvatores since the 20s and the things we got up to would make your toes curl. And since they met you and your little Team Save Elena, they’ve grown soft and it’s revolting to see such uselessness from two of the most feared killers in history.” She continues, ignoring both of them as she examined her nails in the early morning light.  

“You know nothing about me.” Damon hisses, finally snapping having had enough of the Mikaelsons and their mind games. “Oh, but I do, lover. I know you want adventure, that’s why you’re still here in front of me. You like to rebel. You want mystery, passion, romance and a lot of danger.” She smiles easily, brushing away the blood from his lips. “If I thought you were a weakling, I would have let you die a hundred years ago.”

Chicago, 1922

Y/N and Damon were dancing together in the speakeasy, having grown close over the past few months. They twirled around in the room, unable to take their eyes off of each other. Rebekah, Niklaus and Stefan were drinking blood together in a hidden booth. Damon smiled affectionately at her. “You’re really something Y/N and you fascinate me like nobody else.” She laughs, giving him a cheeky kiss. “Do you think so, lover? I’ve been around a long time and you’re still so young.” He grins, shaking his head. “I don’t think you can say that after the little Ripper fest we enjoyed in the church last night. And you looked so pretty covered in blood and screaming my name as I fucked you in the confessional.” He murmurs against her skin, hands firmly resting on her hips, holding her tightly against him. “That was nice. The thing you did with the pastor after taking me on the altar was lovely. I was quite into that.” She agrees, letting out a dreamy sigh. “Sadly the cover-ups are a bit annoying.” He hums in response but before he can say anything the speakeasy erupts into fearful screams. Y/N watches the human and vampire patrons get staked around her, afraid for the first time in a long time. She pulls Damon to the floor beside her as panicked people try to escape, huddling together against the wall. When he meets her eyes, he sees barely controlled fear which surprises him greatly. “Y/N. Do you know the hunters?” “The hunter is an Original vampire. And my father.” She says quietly as bodies fall around them, the screams reaching a fever pitch. “You need to run. Be safe. I’ll find you I promise.” She murmurs, tightening her grip on him. “No. I’m not leaving you. I love you Y/N. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” He cups her face before kissing her gently. She gives him a forced grin, “I know. I love you too. And I need you safe.” She looks into his eyes, her heart breaking as she compels him to forget her till she says he can remember her again. She presses a soft kiss to his forehead, standing up and escaping the building with her siblings. She’s the last one out, watching Damon from the shadows. She smiles to herself as he pulls out a wayward stake from his shoulder as he runs out, unknowingly in her direction. Knowing the stakes were poisoned with werewolf venom, she pulled him into the dark alcove she was hiding in and pressed her bleeding wrist to his mouth wordlessly, making sure he couldn’t see her face. “Run far away, pretty one. Stay safe till I find you again.” She whispers before disappearing into the night with her siblings.

Present Day

Elena stares at Y/N, terrified about what was she was going to do. As if reading her mind, a cold, cruel smile graced her features. “I’m not going to do anything to you doppelgänger. This one, the one you’ve been playing with all year, is going to be tearing you apart.” Her eyes widen in shock as she tries to speak. Damon vehemently shakes his head, “I’m not going to do ANYTHING you say.” She tuts. “You don’t have a choice, lover. Now, tell me what you like about her, wrong answer and our dear Elena loses an organ.” He grits his teeth trying to force the words back. “Her kindness and the love she has for everyone.” “Wrong. I think we should start with the kidneys. Take the left one out please.” He watches in horror as his hand rises of its own accord, sinking into her body and pulling out a bloody kidney. Elena doubles over at the loss before Y/N compels her to stand properly and not move at all. “Next. Continue.” “The way she thinks everyone can be saved.” “Wrong again. The small intestine should do nicely. Pull it out.” Dread had properly set in as he shut his eyes, pulling out the organ and dropping the long, snake like thing on the grass. “Hmm… I’m not enjoying this as much as I should.” She muses before brightening up. “You can scream now Elena, I don’t mind.” Looking just the faintest bit relieved, she lets out an ear piercing scream as her body begins to shut down to deal with the intense blood and organ loss. Damon lets out a barely audible whimper at the sound, hating Y/N more than he thought possible.

It goes on for what feels like hours as she makes him pull out all her organs one by one till the ground is just a pile of different bloody body parts and bones. Her heart lies on top of the pile, right above her crumpled form. Damon is shaking, body racked with pained sobs as he looks at the sight in front of him. Y/N presses herself against his back, playing with his belt loops and palming him gently through his jeans. “See, lover? Can you blame a girl for doing this to get her man to stay loyal to her?” “I am not your man. I will never be yours.” He says bitterly, rage fuelling him as numbness sets in. “I’d like you to remember everything that happened in the twenties. It is now time.” She says calmly, looking into his eyes.

He feels a sudden flood of memories come to him from a century ago, he drops to his knees overwhelmed by the intensity. He realises that whatever he had felt for Elena was nothing as compared to what he felt for Y/N. She was everything to him, his everything. If he had her, he didn’t need anything else. She was perfection personified and he loved her like nobody else. But the amount of emotional trauma she had inflicted on him was not going to be brushed off so easily. It was a weird dynamic they had but it worked well for them.

He gets to his feet, thoughts organized for what felt like the first time in forever and glared at her. She merely smiled in response. “You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you, lover?” He snarls throwing her against a tree, ignoring the bodies around them, hearing a satisfying grinding sound as the tree cracked under her weight. She let out a soft groan, her back getting scratched up and her nose starting to drip blood. She gives him a feral smile, wiping the blood off. “There he is. Are you going to fuck me now for giving you so much crap? For playing with your emotions and making you cry over some stupid chick you don’t care about?” She says, taunting him with her words. He takes the bait, pining her against the tree, holding her wrists above her head and forcing apart her legs with his knee. “Do not fuck with me like this again or I will leave you.” He threatens. Feeling incredibly turned on, she nods. “I’m not letting you go ever again. You’re mine.” “And you have to stop strutting around naked all the time, it is incredibly distracting.” He murmurs, biting her neck and drinking her blood. “I was making a point.” She manages to say in between soft moans as he rubs his free hand right where she needed him. “Point made. None of that anymore or I’m going to tie you up and leave you in the basement alone and begging for me.” She nods vigorously. “Yes, yes of course. Now just stop talking and fuck me properly.” “You’re so lucky that I’ve missed holding you that I’m not going to take my time like I usually do. Later today, you’re going to show me what you’ve been doing all this time without me.” He says pulling off his clothes and throwing them away haphazardly. “Of course I will.” She promises, tugging him towards her and curling her fingers in his hair as she kisses him roughly. “Good girl.” He whispers appreciatively, digging his fingers into her hips, hoisting her up higher against the tree and pushing his entire length into her in one go. He doesn’t give her time to adjust before he ruthlessly begins to thrust into her, silencing her moans by kissing her again. She feels heady with desire, enjoying the feeling of him all around her after literal decades of waiting. “You feel so good, lover.” She murmurs against his skin. “Next time in the Fell’s church for old time’s sake?” “Maybe I’ll gag you then. You’ve started talking too much.” He muses, letting out a breathy moan of her name as she clenches her walls around him, close to the edge. “Then you won’t be able to hear me call your name as I climax, would you?” “I’d still be making you scream when I cut you up with those daggers of yours dipped in wolfsbane.” “I missed you and your sadism.” She gasps out after a particularly hard thrust, the bark tearing her back and waves of pain mixing with the pleasure he was providing her. And he felt so good as he pounded into her, leaving rapidly healing bites over her neck and chest and licking off her blood. She finally reaches her peak burying her head in the crook of his neck to stifle her broken moans. He doesn’t let up as he overstimulates her, feeling himself close to the edge. “Again. Come for me again.” He growls, gently nipping her ear lobe and kissing her jaw. She trembles in his arms not yet used to the heightened feelings that came with being a proper hybrid. She tightens her grip on his hair drawing out a pleased moan from him as he finally climaxes, her following shortly after. She slumps weakly in his arms as they exchange lazy kisses, recovering from their highs. She rests her head against his shoulder as her back heals itself.

Out of the corner of her eye, Y/N spots Caroline, Matt, Jeremy and Alaric staring at the bloody scene in front of them in a mix of fear, shock, repulsion and horror. She smirks, unlatching herself from Damon and speaking up for everyone to hear. “Well Damon, I think it’s time we send the rest where the others are?” He gives her a feral grin as he pulls on his underwear and runs a bloodstained hand through his hair. “For the greater good.” He agrees.

With that the duo launches themselves at the four taking them by surprise, tearing into them and killing them with relative ease. Y/N lets out an appreciative hum wiping the blood from her chin and kisses him again. “I enjoy it when we feed together. It’s a nice bonding activity.” “I enjoy our Ripper phases. Can’t believe I thought humans were worth keeping safe.” She gives him a smug smile. “Exactly my point. Now, back to the Mansion where you’re going to show me how much you love me and what all you’re willing to do for the greater good.” He laughs, picking her up bridal style before his gaze drifts to his brother. “Aren’t you going to wake Stef up?” “Yes, that. Rebekah should be here soon, she can take care of him.” She looks in the direction of the younger Salvatore. “Wake up and go to the Boarding House, Stefan dear.” She throws an arm around Damon’s neck before kissing him again. “The things we do for love.” “For love and for the greater good.” He gives her a soft smile, reserved only for her on rare occasions before kissing her softly. They quickly made their way to the Mansion where they spent the rest of the day in the throes of passion, marking each other as their one and only.

And what exactly what this greater good? Y/N’s happiness of course, no matter who came in the way or who got hurt in the process, her happiness was the most important.

Taglist:

@marvelnaturalock​

@multifandomdisorder​

#damon stan club #damon imagine #damon salvatore #dark au #damon salvatore x reader #damon is a baby vampire #everyone dies #damon x y/n #damon x reader #damon salvatore x y/n #dark reader #reader is psychopath #the vampire diaries #stefan salvatore #caroline forbes #elena gilbert #jeremy gilbert #I SWEAR I LOVE THE CAST #I LOVE THE CAST #bonnie bennett #alaric saltzman #niklaus mikaelson #the mikaelsons #rebekah mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #damon salvatore smut #damon salvatore x reader smut #damon salvatore lemons

[interact-if]

Day 8 of the interviews! The talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular Pol, everyone!

Pol, author of All Paths Lead to the Underground

Pride Month Featured Author

Welcome to Deadline, the city of the lost ones. Here, in the near dystopian future, there’re only two ways to survive: engage in something illegal or pretend that you don’t notice anything that’s happening around you. Too bad that the latter one isn’t that easy in a place like this, where you need to be on guard every other minute in order to get through the day and not catch a bullet. Trying to live like normal people do wasn’t ever an option for you anyway, whether you like it or not.

And now you’re a mercenary who works side-by-side with a group of poor souls who are also unfortunate enough to be stuck in the same position. But there’s a problem, of course, because you’re not entirely human yourself, and it’s the fact that constantly puts your companions in danger whenever they’re with you. Not only this, you also have some other unpleasant things to take care of, but let’s deal with it a little bit later. The consequences of the things you’ve done, or were forced to, are hot on your heels and are threatening to crush you at any moment. You’re pretty certain that your strength, that goes far beyond the limits of human abilities, can help you withstand everything that’s coming for you. But it’s not always about strength and power, is it? The beast inside of you is trying to take over, and day by day it becomes more persistent.

Can you stand against it and retain your sanity, or will you succumb to the madness like many others? Lose yourself in the icy embrace of the darkness, or fight it until your last breath?

Well, the choice is yours only.

Be careful and remember, all paths lead to the Underground.

Demo: TBA

Tags: 18+, dystopian

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

Q1: Tell us a little bit about your project(s)!

The Paths is a story that’s set in a dystopian city of the near future, where mafia and banditry rules instead of the government and secret organizations conduct disturbing human experiments. It’s a story about people who’re trying to survive by doing not very honorable and humane things which put their lives in danger. It’s about people who live in a cruel place, try not to become cruel themselves, and whose paths inevitably cross under different circumstances, leading all of them to the one destination nonetheless.

In this story, you play as a mercenary, and more specifically - a genetically modified human, who’s desperately trying to run away from their past. You’re faced with countless obstacles along your way, and things are heating up progressively. Fortunately, you have a few people on your side to help you deal with that, even if some of them don’t really intend to in the first place.

But hey, we’re in for an exciting ride! Five people, including you, and one task for all: save the city, or maybe the whole world, who knows? There’s a war coming, so buckle up!

Q2: Why interactive fiction? What drew you to the medium?

Honestly, I don’t have an interesting story to tell you about that particular decision. I think I discovered IF around three years ago from my friend, but at that time The Paths was nothing more than just a story with no particular plot floating around in my head, and I didn’t really have any intentions on making it something that it’s now. But I guess that discovering IF had a huge impact on me after all, and made me think about actually creating something interesting and bringing all these stories I made up to use.

Plus, creating IF seemed much more intriguing and fascinating to me than just writing a book! What can I say; reading all the stories by really amazing authors left a great impression on me. But honestly, when I started working on my WIP I didn’t have the slightest idea about what I’m going to do, I just told myself that I’ll figure everything out as I go, so it was kind of an impulsive decision which is not really typical of me. But we’re here now, and I’m pretty glad that I made this decision, after all.

Q3: Are your characters influenced by your identity? How?

I’d say yes and no, because I certainly put some pieces of myself into almost every character I write, that’s an inevitable occurrence in writing for me, but I don’t think that my identity really influenced character creation in one way or another.  Or maybe it did and it’s just not quite obvious to me, really. I mean, I have a character who’s canonically trans and is Armenian, and the other one is a Slavic non-binary person who’s attracted to women (hence the influence), and that’s about it.

Even though The Paths isn’t really focused on the relationships and romance, I think that my experience helps me to write more diverse characters and their interpersonal relationships, as well as making the RO’s romanceable by people of any gender and regardless of their preferences. Not going to lie, some character backstories are also influenced by my own life experience and some struggles I had to face, but I’ve to keep quiet about those for now.

Q4: What or who are some of your biggest inspirations?

I don’t really have any inspirations among celebrities, so I’d say that my biggest inspirations are ordinary people from my daily life, be they my friends or acquaintances, or just strangers that I see every day, and their life experiences. To be honest, one of my main characters was totally inspired by one of my close friends!

Q5: What’s a super vague spoiler for your current project?

I can give you a small advice – try to not go berserk unless you absolutely must, because it’ll have a lot of grave consequences and will most certainly end badly for your loved ones and for many other people in general. And oh, don’t trust your “family”, that’s also an important one. Even if you see a familiar face, it doesn't mean that they’re not going to stab you the moment you turn away.

Q6: Lastly, what advice would you give to your readers?

Do what you love and not what you think you should love because somebody told you so. Write stories you want to read, create what you want to, do what you love! Even if it takes a lot of time, it’s worth it if it makes you happy. And always prioritize your own comfort, because you are the most important person in your life <3

#if: events #Pride Month 2021 #pride month #queer authors #queer creators #queer fiction #interactive fiction