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onyourhyuck · 10 months

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Bad Habits. | H.RJ

— Prologue: “You have no idea, how long I’ve been wanting to do this.”

— Summary: Your boyfriend Renjun offered to blow dry your wet hair, what could go wrong?

— Genre: Smut. Smut. Smut. Boyfriend!Renjun. Kind of cute. Renjun has an obsession to kiss y/n’s neck. Blowdrying hair. Protected sex. Renjun’s love for y/n’s chest. Teasing. Soft mild choking. Fingering receiving (f) Consensual. many many climaxes. Nickname used ‘Baby’ a lot.

— Notes: I might be in my renjun smut era rn.

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You let the hot water run down your back all the way from your short thick hair. You enjoy the warmth and the steam building in the bathroom. It’s always nice to come home and have a relaxing evening showering especially after such a stressful day at work. Your boyfriend, Renjun, prepared the shower for you actually. He let it ran so you can have the hot water running. He even got the towel and clothes ready and then he left to let you have your own privacy and time to shower properly. Renjun loves to do a lot of things for you even though you don’t ask him to do anything he just ends up doing it for you anyways.

You tend to appreciate these small gestures the most whenever you’re feeling drained and tired. You don’t really like to show or express that you’re having a hard time. So when your boyfriend can sense your feelings through your moods you find it easier to show you’re struggling.

Your job can be very time consuming which then puts a slight strain on your relationship with Renjun. He wants to do many things with you but your job tends to prevent that. You’re a very dedicated worker to your job.

You may love your job but sometimes it can be hard to keep up with it. Even if it is just paperwork. It’s still a lot to do even if people assume at first thay papers aren’t that much of a hard thing to do. It’s more or less time consuming.

Either way you’re home now and you don’t want to think about work anymore so you finish your shower and head out with the towel wrapped around you. You would change in the bedroom. You take your time applying body lotion and then your own skin care routine on your face. You need to moisturise your skin with the products you bought. Once the pyjamas embrace your beautiful curvy figure you sat down on the bed looking in the mirror. You feel refreshed from the shower. Renjun really was right it did help you feel better. As if the weight was lifted off your chest.

The bedroom door opens with Renjun peeking in a little and when he saw you and your damp hair he tilts his head a little. “You still haven’t blow dry your hair Y/n. You’ll get sick if you leave it like this.” You heard him say with a small nagging voice but you didn’t mind it.

You knew he cared for your well-being slightly more than you do for yourself. You gently roll your eyes. “I’ll get on it now then.” You stand up to get the box out with the hairdryer however a hand stops you from moving any further from the bed.

Renjun shakes his head. “I’ll do it for you.” He then said getting the box out putting it next to you on your bed and you look up with a little smile. He really doesn’t want you to work too much at home knowing you’re tired. “Can i blow dry your hair for you?”

Now he was asking you with something glistening behind his eyes and you’re not sure what that was. It almost resembles a fallen star in his eyes that you saw glisten away. Your expression of surprise makes Renjun feel like his words took you to another level of comfort and happiness when he asked if he could blow dry your hair for you. It’s like you didn’t expect him to go the extra mile for you. Renjun would do anything if it can mean you didn’t have to do anything. Heck. He would do everything and you can just be taken care of like the princess you are. Renjun wouldn’t want it any other way for you.

You take a while to figure out what to say but you reckon you can just give him a nod and he would take it as a yes. “Sure you can.” You say with a small shy smile. You never really had anyone drying your hair for you so this might be an experience you think. Renjun saw your permission and his face lit up.

It’s like he’s been waiting to do this for you before. Renjun plugs everything in. The blow dry device powers up and Renjun softly runs his hands through your wet short damp hair. He enjoys to run his hand through it because of how silky and thick it feels when it’s dry. But when it’s wet it’s a clump that he still find’s beautiful. Every inch of you feels responsible for the way his love grows for you even more. Renjun was only bewitched when the cold wet hair slides down the fingers as he starts to now turn on the hairdryer. The hot air blows your hair in different directions, his hands slid up to your roots and down the edges of your strands.

Your eyes close in the pleasant breeze that feels like a valley passing in your mind. The sensation of someone else stirring the arms rotating around the hot air to your damp hair as their fingers slip like growing spring around your scalp makes you feel some type of way; relaxation? Maybe. Perhaps it was the fact that you feel like you are being treated with care. The way your boyfriend’s wrist was so gently when it moved and pushed your hair aside to get every part of your hair to dry up and not be wet from your shower.

It felt too good. You never thought a simple thing like this could make you feel even more at home than you already were feeling like.

Renjun might be your home. Maybe he makes home feel like home to you now.

Your boyfriend smiles when he saw your smiling expression as your eyes were closed shut enjoying how his hands feel around your scalp trying to massage every area so they can dry up. He doesn’t want you to go to bed with damp hair at all. It’s not the most comfortable thing either. Nor is it healthy. Renjun’s smile mimics yours and he cannot help but watch and observe you. He takes every chance to admire you no matter what even when you’re not looking at him, that’s when Renjun takes his opportunity the most.

The eyes fell down like a marble stone falling on the ground between two drainages pipes when he saw the sight of your beautiful glowing neck. In his eyes he feels like this was his favourite part of you. Your neck. Renjun might have a slight admiration for it to the point it might be like he has a massive crush on it. Not because of how beautiful it looks. It’s because he knows how much it gets you going with a rollercoaster of emotions.

The most simplest of touches he could do to your neck would feel like he had you pinned against a brick wall. That’s how much you react whenever your neck comes into contact with something.

Renjun love it though. He can smell your hair and your body lotion you applied from your neckline. He was very close and it makes his heartbeat a little knowing you’re relaxing right now and he’s here trying to not get any urges and thoughts right there and then.

You look too irresistible to not be kissed though. Renjun eventually said screw it in his head and when your hair was a little more dry now, his lips found a way around the back of your nape and placing a small kiss on it. The small kiss was very soft and noticeable. It feels like lavender sprouting from the roots.

Then the kiss on the nape turns into more kisses on the sides of your neckline and then eventually spreading even more across your neck to the front which had your heart skipping a beat from the first pointer kiss he did.

Your voice came out a little better though slight hitch to the tone which your boyfriend took heard notice of. “Renjun…?”

It was a mixture of confusion and surprise. Renjun kissed now a little more deeply but still keeping the relaxed vibe you guys are in. The whole bedroom had a very chill atmosphere and he wasn’t doing anything too much to scare you off. He knows you’re tired. Renjun can feel it on your body muscles. They’re finally relaxed and no longer tense, he wouldn’t want to do anything else than to have you feel loved in the moment.

All Renjun was thinking about was how pretty you sound when he continued to kiss you. He travels up kissing your jawline as he’s still sitting behind you with the warm hairdryer on his lap attached to the nearby plug on the wall next to your bed that you both are on.

He whispers to your ear as he gently and lovingly placed a kiss on it too. “You have no idea, how long I’ve been wanting to do this.”

Your boyfriend drag alongside your neck his lips whispering series of sweet nothings. The sequences had you rolling your tongue at the top of your mouth roof when he pressed another sweet and peppering kiss on your smooth skin. “To kiss and to be close to you like this… I’ve missed you.”

Your body betrays you quickly knowing it was your boyfriend making you feel this way, so out of breath as if you ran for miles upon miles. It was one of those things that your body could never get used to. Renjun’s kisses, words, the way he spoke to you with the tone of his voice. It’s too much you found yourself loving it all too well.

You found yourself giving in too quickly than you’d like to imagine. It wasn’t long till Renjun’s lips kissed the corner of your lips which then made you fully engulf yourself in kissing him back now. You closed your eyes and breathed in as he lets out a sigh practically groaning now that you kissed him. It felt so foreign to him nowadays. It’s been too long than he’d like to admit since he kissed you like this. You pull yourself around and Renjun’s hands slither round your waist dragging you across the bed as you let him pull you down on your back, the kiss never once breaking away.

It’s been too long because you swore you neglected him to the point he didn’t give you a single break from the kiss. It was too long that it had your face feeling like you might melt like magma. Or until the point you’re seeing stars written on the ceiling. Renjun nibbles quietly on your bottom lip while finally he pulls to give you a fresh new look on his face as he saw your eyes closing to regain back your view. You were too close to nearly passing out from the lack of oxygen he stole from you.

But he pulls at the right minute to keep you asking for more. To keep you guessing for more. Renjun lowers himself down just above your chest as he kissed your cheek now beginning to ask you. “Baby do you think i have to stretch you out? It’s been too long since we did it.” He lets his eyes practically eat you alive when he’s watching your body like this. You let out a soft groan, his hands run down your spine and under your shirt ready to strip it away from your wonderful figure.

Renjun’s bad habit is definitely not being able to be patient enough for you. When he wants something he needs it immediately. You’re one of those things that Renjun cannot be patient for enough because he wants to experience it with you. And let you experience him as much as possible too. This might be the result of his feelings for you however, they’re far too intense you can barely stand in front of him.

You groan in reply. “Maybe stretch me out with your fingers.” Your hands slip off your lower pyjamas and Renjun took the host pleasure to position his finger around your straps to the panties and slid them down to your ankles. He smiles looking down at your pussy region as he strums his thumb on your clit before pushing in the index finger now. He saw you bite your bottom lip already and Renjun can feel how tight you are. He definitely needed to stretch you out. It felt too much already that you feel like consuming all of Renjun’s pleasure. Renjun didn’t stop until he at least give you one orgasm by his fingers. He never continues and puts you above himself too.

Even though he is very impatient he’s never impatient when it comes to putting you first above his own pleasure and needs.

You felt your eyes clench around the ceiling above as you’re feeling the pleasure reach to your own bones. It pulses you to leak and now your own high washed over you. Renjun was satisfied to hear you moaning his name and practically plead him to already take you. He whispers reaching with his face to kiss your own mouth again. “You did so well for me, baby.”

You’re so weak to him and his praise.

Your boyfriend slips himself inside your folds and your heat once he put on the condom wrapping around his shaft that pumps inside and outside of your velvety bars has him feeling like he was on cloud nine. Your expression was scrunching up as you reach enlightenment with your boyfriend thrusting inside and outside of you in such graceful ways. Renjun’s pelvis reaches your inner thighs as he grabs around your waist wrapping his arms on your back as he pulls you closer to the lavishing light he caused your body to feel. This feeling couldn’t be described in words just like how Renjun cannot describe such a perfect girl like you beneath him getting her hole fixed with his cock deep inside you looking so incredibly beautiful.

How can anyone compare to you? No one can.

Renjun vows you’re going to get him hooked more and more. Your folds squeezing and squelch which has his eyes roll and your boyfriend slips out a groan between your perky breasts as he licks round his tongue teasingly around the very top. “Do you feel good baby? Is this what you needed after a long day of work?” He spoke so kindly though his body wasn’t matching it. Your body was squished between his ruthless thrusts.

You neglected him for too long because you can feel this was almost like his way of releasing all the pent up frustrations.

You bury your head further into your pillow as your spine arches like a bridge. Renjun loves when you do this between his fast and jabbing thrusts. It feels like you were feeling everything tan times more intensely. Your lips fell apart like ice. “S-So good… oh please don’t stop.” You now plead.

You’re not sure why you’re pleading because your boyfriend wasn’t planning to stop anyways.

You must’ve been seeing stars when your many orgasms has been approaching. Perhaps you already came too many times you didn’t even realise it. It was so good that Renjun must’ve had your hole screaming at him to slow down but he couldn’t as he was taking everything in too fast with his brain.

Your hands clench in a balling fist and your toes curl when Renjun whispers to your ears. “You know this is your fault I’m acting like this.” Your eyes widen when he told you it’s your reasoning for all of this happening and you wanted to speak, but the many moans you swallowed came out.

He trails down the kisses from the forehead and down your temples. “You wanna know why? Because you’re my Bad Habit.”

Your neck was looking too good from the angle he was in pushing inside of you deeply where he knew you had limitless space. His hands sweep their way in holding and caressing your neck as he continues to thrust within your pussy that you find yourself getting addicted to how his cock was making you feel; utterly weak and high.

You are the very bad habit he has. Renjun cannot do anything without you anymore and it’s all because of you making it hard not to fall in love with you even more.

He blames you for this, he cannot get enough now. It was like a trap all along and Renjun was your fallen victim. You clench around his shaft as he said this. He reminds you how deep his love is for you and your eyes dilate when you feel his member twitch deeply within your folds.

Through the condom fabric you sense a filling packet now and you just knew he had a sudden climax when Renjun hung his head between your shoulders. He took a moment to final thrust within you and his voice was breaking like a broken tape on record player.

He grunts and you feel his hands tighten around the embrace has you inside as if you were his precious jewel.

“Fuck fuck fuck…” You heard your boyfriend say quietly as the voice was trembling by how good you consumed him all.

You feel Renjun letting out a deeply mournful sigh full of enchanting pleasure when he pulls out off you with the condom. You watch him wrap it up and he looks back at you finding your gaze to be watery and dilated pupils, it makes you look like a princess in his eyes though.

He could tell he did a good job pleasuring you and it makes him proud. And your beauty never leaves no matter what state you’re in.

You whisper. “I’m your bad habit?” You let out a little giggle though because you find yourself liking that you’re his bad habit in a way.

Renjun grins leaning down. “Mhm that you are.” You watch him hover above your figure now as you guys were resting now with your steady heartbeats returning to their normal pace. He looks down at your kissable lips and so he lowers down only a little to give it a peck. You hear him speak as he did this. “You’re all my Bad Habits.”

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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank youu! Reblog this Fic and Follow me for more it helps a girl out. <3

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gauloiseblue · 1 month

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Oral Fixation

(Perv!Graves × Reader)

He might not realized it, but he stared at your lips a lot

He wouldn't bat an eye when you did something else, but once you did anything to your lips, he'd snap his head towards you with an incredible speed

Doesn't matter if you're just putting the head of your pen against your lips or wearing lipstick on, he'll still watch it from the corner of his eye

When you left the office for lunch, he approached your table and let his hand take the empty cup from the table. He looked at the nude-colored mark on the rim, and imagined how your lips pressed against the smooth surface earlier, and how your face lighted up at the first taste of your tea.

Luckily for him, you didn't notice the smudged stain on your cup when you came back

While he can't say that you have an oral fixation, you do have a tendency to use your lips in suggestive manners (it's all just in his head tbh)

You'd bite your lip when you tried to solve a problem, you'd keep the pencil between your teeth when you're thinking, you'd purse your lips when you read something ridiculous

And God help him when you're drinking that yogurt in a squeeze pouch

Your cheeks would flatten as you suck on the tube, while your hands work on pushing the yogurt up

One time, he caught you lounging around with the yogurt in your hand. You didn't expect to see him walking toward you, resulting in you coughing as you swallowed at the wrong time. He'd scold you if not for the little drop of white on the corner of your lips. Which forced him to leave, as he had a new business to attend to

That's what inspired him to make a no-eating-in-his-office rule

It's strange and unreasonable, because he always lets you have a little snack when you're working. And he didn't let you out when he knew you're gonna sneak out to have a snack. There's many people who work for him for God's sake, why did the rule only apply to you?

He knew about your crave when you're stressed, and this job gave you plenty of reasons to succumb into it

Just like that, he waits like a lion to strike at the right moment

It took you a month before you tried to have it secretly, which, of course, wasn't secretly enough

He lets you have it for a few times, before he strikes

You're sucking on a hard candy, before he cornered you in his office

"What's in your mouth?" He asked, and your eyes widened

"Nothing." You looked away

"Don't lie to me."

You squeak when he grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him.

"Open your mouth." He commanded you, and you had no choice but to obey

He sighs when he sees the red candy on your tongue

"I told you not to eat when you're in my office, didn't I?" He warned as he slipped his fingers inside. You tried to protest when he pushed your tongue instead of taking the candy out

"Ghave—" You grabbed his wrist when he pressed further, purposely made you gag

He smirks when your eyes begin to water, and spit starts to coat around his fingers. "I knew you'd break it, I gave you a chance to fix it, but you didn't learn." He mused, voice dripped with venom and arousal, "I should punish you for it."

You're coughing once his fingers left your mouth, along with your candy. He sneers when you glare at him with contempt, and he lifts the red sugar for you to see

"I'll be keeping this."

#call of duty #cod #cod mw2 #graves x reader #phillip graves #graves cod #he's a perv yall #he's nastayyy #he wants bj so bad it makes him look stupid

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am-i-interrupting · 2 months

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Hello really like your posts, especially the Rosie/hazbin stuff.

If you're still doing requests I'd like to ask for ether f!reader accidently calling Rosie mommy in bed and her teasing them about it(NSFW it sfw up yo you) or f!reader giving Rosie a massage after a long day of overlord work

If you can't or don't wanna is cool I just wanted to give my thoughts thanks again much l. Love your blog

The Coil of Springs

Summary: You decided to treat Rosie, help her relax. Little did you know it would have the opposite effect on you.

Warnings: nudity, suggestive themes

You were not a processional masseuse by any means but Rosie seemed content enough. She was relaxed, completely relaxed beneath your touch.

She let out little noises that sparked a fire you tried to put out what seemed like every other second but was realistically every few minutes. You rolled your hand over a spot at the bottom of her neck and she moaned loudly.

“That’s perfect, dear,” she said. “Can you just— oh, like that.”

You’d clench your legs together if you weren’t straddling her back. Instead you opted for a long, slow breath.

It didn’t take a genius to know that Rosie was a busy woman. She was constantly fixing the problems of those in Cannibal Town. It was something she devoted most of her time to. However, it took a special type of person for her to reveal just how stressed the job made her. She’d chosen you to confine in.

You didn’t mind sharing the burden with her. In fact you were honored. Rosie was a very uptight woman so if this is what you had to do to help her loosen up, you’d gladly do it. You couldn’t help but wish though that you could ignore your own feelings while you did.

It was getting increasingly harder to not grind down against her.

You tried focusing on her. You focused on the way it was smooth and glistening from the massage oil. The way it bunched up when you pressed down with the ball of your hand or the tips of your fingers. The quick to disappear red marks from where your applied pressure.

Fucking Hell!

This wasn’t working.

It was just making things worse.

Rosie hummed before she tapped your thigh, signaling for you to get up. You moved to hover over her, thinking she just wanted to adjust her positioning like she had several times already but no. She moved to face upwards.

Now she was making things worse!

Oh, fuck!

Her entire torso was on a sinful display. Her collarbone (which should not be as sexy as it is, fuck her and her modesty), her breasts that moved up and down with each breath, her dull pink but perky nipples, her waist. Oh, she was just too perfect.

She grabbed your hands and placed them along her ribcage. “Could you be a dear and put some pressure here?” she asked.

You were helpless to do anything but comply. Your ran your fingers along her ribs, putting pressure between the devotes.

You could see her face as she made those small noises. The way she’d bite her lip or leave it agape. The furrow and then release of her brow. Her eyes closed at peace.

It was so beautiful. She was so beautiful.

You could ignore the coiling inside you if it meant she got uncoil.

#hazbin rosie x reader #rosie x reader

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plutonianeris · 3 months

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❝mars in the 6th house❞

This is how mars in the 6th house has manifested for me.

With my 6th house mars placement I tend to make my daily activities into games or challenges. In my head I’m always like okay let’s see how long it takes me to do xyz. It makes me feel accomplished to get stuff down.

The downside to all of that is the stress I put on my body. Sometimes I don’t know when to stop and I keep pushing through until I feel burned out. Over the years I have gotten better and reminding myself to slow down and be more mindful throughout out the day.

I have always had very high paced busy jobs. The couple times where I had a more low stakes, relaxed job I would start off thinking I was going to enjoy it and then I would hate it. It would just make the day drag on so long. I like feeling challenged and when I am busy the day goes by faster. When I was around 15 I got my first job at a restaurant and it would get extremely busy and chaotic as fuck and honestly I loved it. The dining room would get so full, people were chattering all the time and we would all be in the back running around like chickens with their heads cut off, bumping into each other. Some of my coworkers would get frustrated which is fair but honestly it felt like a game to me. I worked there until I was 19. I have a higher paying, more “professional” job now but to this day that was the most fun job I’ve had.

I have worked at many different places, but the posts that state mars in the 6th house will give you coworkers being jealous and trying to start shit are 100% right. In every job I have had there were coworkers that saw me as threat or would try to start shit with me. I once worked at a hospital when I was in college and the girls working with me (Who were 2-3 years actually older than me) were so hateful and weird. They would constantly be looking at me, gossiping (or straight up trying to argue) and one time one of them lied to the supervisor saying I was slacking off when I wasn’t (literally trying to sabotage my job).

A male coworker there at the time told me they were just hating. I do believe that they were because they were being weird and messy but I also think he was trying to flirt with me..

The rumors are true about your coworkers crushing on you with this placement. And vice versa for me as well at times. It has gone from flirting with coworkers to me actually sleeping with a coworker once. However those times it was never anything serious, more like in the moment things. 6th house placements really know what it means to have a work husband/ wife lol.

another thing about jobs, when people try to start shit it use to get me riled up and I would let people get under my skin (when I was younger). NOW, I laugh and even though it still makes me annoyed, it makes me feel even more motivated to be the best at what I am doing.

I am also quick to leave a job once it has run its course. I am not that emotional when it comes to leaving and starting over somewhere else.

I lose weight very fast. I don’t mean in the sense that I have high metabolism. I mean that if gain weight and I decide I want to lose it, I do simple workouts and in a relatively short time its gone. Its not an unhealthy or harmful way. It makes sense considering mars is action and speed and the 6th house is daily routines and my body and health. Honestly if you have this placement and you are stressing over meal plans or planning specific workouts, just do simple ones and walk more and it wont be as hard as you thought.

I do have a high libido, especially when I am in a relationship. Having a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship is important to me.

I don’t get sick very often and when I do, I fight it off in 1-3 days.

I can be very impulsive in my daily and routines, sometimes harshly. Like I might brush my hair very roughly without realizing or apply lotion onto my skin in a heedless manner. That is something that I did not like and I try to remind myself to treat my body with gentle hands.

My impulsive behavior was worse when I was kid. For example, if I could not get a necklace off of me or bracelet, it would make me so angry and kind of panicked, I would rip it off even if it meant it might break I didn’t care. Me doing what I wanted and feeling free mattered more than whatever I was wearing. This was however another thing I tried to improve on.

Growing up, in my daily routines people use to be mad aggressive towards me as well. Don’t get me wrong, I knew when I was annoying or pushing someones buttons, but the random spurts of anger at me would be very unwarranted.

I feel like at times I can be very guarded as well or tense. When I am angry, I feel it first in my chest and then my stomach will hurt. I don’t like getting worked up because although I can emotionally regulate, it still takes my body a while to calm down. When I was a teenager it would take a long ass time of me practically seething or cursing. Now after a couple deep breaths I’m good.

Mars is aggressive and the 6th house is my health and body and I have definitely taken my anger out on myself as well. My home life had always been very chaotic as a kid and I started self harming at 12 years old and then I stopped when I was around 17 years old.

On a more positive note, I love taking care of my body now. I would never treat it like my enemy or be so careless with myself like I use to. I like working out. I like feeling strong. And also theres a bonus of feeling hot as fuck when I am naked. When Megan thee stallion said, “ When I'm in the gym I think about bitches that I'm shitting on,” I really felt that 💋🔥

#astrology #mars in the 6th house #6th house #mars #personal astrology observation #astrology observations #astro observations #fire mars #mars in astrology #random astro #mars in capricorn #mars in virgo #mars in sagittarius #mars in aquarius

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stanfanfiction · 8 months

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Taste of You - Ken x female reader - PART SIX

Feelingsss tiimmeee.

Please let me know how you like it!! Thanks as always for reading!

Warnings: 18+ ONLY / Ken and Barbie meet in the real world and feeliinnggss happen / fluff / angst / super sweet lovemaking / fingering / p! In v!

For the third day in a row, you and Ken stood in line at the bubble tea shop.

“You know, you could probably apply for a job here. They’d probably give you all the free drinks you want,” you suggested.

Ken’s shuffled a little. “I, uh, maybe? I’ve only had one job before.”

“In Barbieland?”

“Mmmhmmm.”

“What was it?”

He placed his hands in his pockets. “It was, uh, Beach.”

“Beach?”

“Yeah.” He smiled sheepishly. “Like, you know how Barbies and Kens have titles?”

“Ooohhhhhh.” You cocked your head. “Just Beach Ken?”

“Basically.”

“What did Beach entail?”

“I just sorta stood there.”

“Just looking good on the beach?”

“Yeah,” he chuckled.

You smiled. “I could see that.”

“Oh my god, Ken??”

The two of you turned to the voice behind you and you blinked a couple times, taking in the woman who had spoken. Tall, blonde, bright faced, perfect smile.

“Ken! It is you!!”

Ken’s face rushed through a plethora of emotions in a split second before forcing a grin. “Barbie!”

You tried to intake this moment. Barbie, literal Barbie, stood in front of you, glowing with enthusiasm.

“I’m so glad you see you! How long have you been here?” She asked.

“Ah, yeah, like a couple months,” Ken said, hand fumbling with his pocket, trying to put on a cool exterior which only make it more obvious how insecure he was feeling in the moment.

Barbie turned to you. “Hi, I’m Barbara,” she said, “well, Barbie. Formerly, technically.” She stretched out her hand, and you shook it.

You were about to introduce yourself when Ken’s arm slipped around your waist. “This is y/n,” he said. “She’s my girlfriend.”

“Of course you are! You are so beautiful!” Barbie’s eyes shone.

“Oh, god thank you - YOU are so beautiful,” you said, slightly overwhelmed by her beauty and the bright energy radiating from her.

“So what are you doing here, Ken?” She asked.

“Like, at the boba tea store?”

“No, here. In the Real world,” she laughed, and he forced a chuckle.

“Oh, just, ya know, needed a change of scenery.” He shrugged, forced nonchalant, and you wanted to ask where on earth this sudden display of insecurity had come from but kept quiet, just watching their interaction happen. “I might work here, uh, someday.” He made a motion to the store around him.

“You’d be so good at that! You absolutely should.”

“And, What, uh, do you do?” he asked.

“Oh, I work at Mattel.”

“You..work at Mattel? The place that…made…you?” You said.

She nodded. “Oh yeah. It’s wild. I get to come up with ideas for new Barbies and Kens.”

“That’s…”

“Bizarre, I know,” she laughed. “But it’s amazing. I’m learning to trust my instincts better here, too! It’s so weird to question everything I think! That’s not something I had to deal with in Barbieland. I go to Ruth a lot to confirm that my ideas are good but she keeps telling me I just have to go with my gut. And it’s so weird sometimes because the building is literally full of men. Like who would have guessed men make decisions about what women want to be?”

You nodded. “I, I mean, yeah, I agree.”

“Ruth seems able to ignore it but -“

“Ruth is?”

“She created Barbie! Her ghost lives at the Mattel headquarters.”

“She…okay…”

“Ken hasn’t told you anything about any of this?”

You turned to Ken. “Not really. He always made the couple times he talked about Barbieland sound so boring.”

“Oh my gosh. Ken would, honestly.” Barbie playfully rolled her eyes.

Ken forced another chuckle. “Ahh, yes, I’ve been focusing on adjusting to here, ya know, the real world. So I haven’t said much…about…”

“Yeah, well now I feel like I’m gonna ask a lot about it because I realize that I have so very many questions,” You said, feeding off of Barbie’s playful vibes, hoping whatever was stressing Ken would fade. It didn’t work.

“Well, if he doesn’t tell you, I will.” Barbie grinned, then nodded towards the counter behind you, seeing you were next in line.

You both ordered and Barbie did too, handing her card to the cashier. “Drinks are on me today!”

You thanked her, still a little intimidated by this woman’s presence and energy, so effortless and flawless and…

“So how long have you two been together?” She asked.

“Almost two months,” Ken said proudly.

“Yeah, we kinda found each other pretty quickly.”

“I love that. I’m so happy you found someone, Ken.” Barbie squeezed his arm and you noticed he flexed his bicep a little, almost like an automatic response.

“And what do you do?” She asked you suddenly.

“I’m a student. I wanna actually become a professor of literature someday.”

“I LOVE that. I’m so behind on reading. Like, 50 years behind?” She laughed again. “You’ll have to give me important book recommendations.” She pulled a hot pink card out of her purse and handed it to you, “Barbara Handler” embossed in pearly white on it along with her job title and phone number. “Text me. Let’s do lunch sometime.”

You nodded, thanking her, and Ken’s eyes kept glancing back and forth between the two of you.

“It is so, so good to see you, Ken. I’m so happy you’re here and doing well. You two are adorable together.”

You smiled. “Thank you.”

Barbie reached around you to pick up her drink from the counter, popping a straw into it. “So fun running into you guys!! And, Ken, I hope you get to work here. I’ll come see you all the time!”

Ken gave a half nod, half smile, as if trying to decide between the two.

“I was so nice meeting you.” Barbie leaned in for a quick hug. Dear god, how did she smell so good?? “I’d stay to visit but I have to get to work. Bye!!” She waved with that perfect smile and disappeared out of the door.

Ken stared as if dumbfounded at the door as is closed behind her, and you picked up your drinks and nudged his into his hand. The cold cup helped bring him back to the moment and he glanced down, then over at you.

“Hey, what’s going on, Ken?” You asked softly.

He remained quiet for a moment before turning to you. “Can we go to the beach?”

Zoey was more than happy to lend you her car for the day when you asked and soon you and Ken were on your hour-long drive to the beach.

Ken wore a pair of pink and green swim shorts, one of the few outfits he had brought from Barbieland, and you wore a see-through pink coverup over the new pink bikini you had purchased the other day. Usually Ken would be all over you, probably forcing you to find a place to park so he could fuck you in the car, but today he remained quiet, staring ahead. His elbow leaned on the door underneath the window, chin resting on his hand. Twice he reached across to squeeze your hand but otherwise he kept to himself, his usual enthusiastic candor no where to be found.

“What are you wanting to do at the beach, love?” You asked.

“Just…I want to be there. I think I need to.”

“Okay.” You rested your hand on his leg and he laid his hand on top of yours for the remainder of the drive.

You knew of a little area that you used to frequent with your girlfriends awhile back when you wanted to drink and hang out in private, away from the busiest areas of the beach, and after you parked you offered Ken your hand to lead him along. You held the folded towels under your other arm and walked slowly, letting Ken’s set the walking pace.

“What was the beach like in Barbieland?” You pressed gently, seeing what might make him speak again.

He shrugged. “Pink. Plastic.”

“The sand was plastic?”

“Everything was plastic.”

You stopped walking and kicked off your sandals.

“Take off your shoes,” You smiled, and he did as you asked. You sunk your toes into the sand and watched as Ken did the same, experiencing the feel of it for the first time.

“How does it feel?”

He smiled a little. “Kinda nice? It’s hot and soft but rough as well.”

“It is.” You leaned down to sit on your heels. “How does it feel between your fingers?”

He reached down to pick up a handful and smiled bigger now, lost in the moment of feeling the material and watching it as it trailed back downward between his fingers. He looked up at you. “I like it.”

You held out your hand to him and stood up. “Walk with me.” You both strolled along the beach, stopping once to have Ken stand in the tide area with you, getting to feel how the water felt when it rushed onto the shore and over his feet and ankles.

“Why does it feel different than other water?” He asked.

“I guess because of the salt? I don’t know, actually. I guess I’ll have to google it later.”

You got to the area you had been headed for after a little while, and unrolled both of your towels to lay them down onto the sand. You crossed your legs as you sank down onto yours. You expected Ken to sit down on the one next to you but instead he sat behind you on yours, wrapping his arms around you, nesting his chin on your shoulder.

He let the senses of the moment settle in: the noises of the ocean, the seagulls that flew overhead, your breathing against his ear. The warmth of the day and the warmth of your skin, the scent of the salt water and seaweed blending in with the scent of your hair.

“So what’s going on, Ken?” You asked, reaching behind you to pet his hair.

You felt him bury his face in your neck, his grip tightening around you. You allowed him the silence he needed until you felt liquid on your skin and realized he was crying.

You tried to turn to look at him but he shook his head, still pressing his face into you.

“I just….I don’t think I know who I am.” He worked hard to keep his voice steady but you heard the heartbreak in his tone.

“What do you mean, sweet Ken?”

He sobbed a little. “I don’t know where I belong.”

Your hand stopped its petting and rested comfortingly on his hair. “Oh, Ken.”

“I’m supposed to know who I am, right?” He sniffed and you felt more tears against your skin.

“Not necessarily. At least not right now.”

“I had always wanted to be with Barbie when I was in Barbieland, but she never wanted me.”

“Okay,” you encouraged gently.

“Then I went a little crazy trying to make her want me, but it only upset her. She deserved to be upset, though. I just…so…she decided she needed to come live her life here, in this world, and she helped me understand that I didn’t need to have her to know who I was, even though her leaving made me still feel so…empty.”

You tried to turn again and this time he loosened his grip enough so you could turn your waist to look at him.

He kept his head low, looking down at the ground so you couldn’t see his face. “I came here hoping something might make sense. I felt like I couldn’t figure out who I was. I know I’m me, but I don’t know what I really want. Or who I even am.”

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of at all. A lot of people don’t know *who* they are, sometimes not for awhile. And often having a permanent understanding of that isn’t always the case, either. It’s not abnormal. People grow and change.”

He shook his head. “I’m afraid if Barbie knew that she’d be disappointed in me.”

“Why would she be?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Is it that maybe you’re disappointed in yourself, Ken?”

He raised his head a little now, looking up at you through wet lashes. “Maybe?” His voice cracked fully and he began sobbing, holding his face in his hands.

You placed your hands on either side of his face. “Ken, my love, can I see your face?”

He kept his face hidden, his shoulders shaking a little.

“Why are you feeling disappointed in yourself? You ever had a lot happen in a short amount of time. I’m not sure how quickly time works in Barbieland, but here, things can take a long time. A really long time, sometimes. And that’s normal.”

He pulled his hands away a little and you took the opportunity to pull them away from his face, his blue eyes oceans of emotion.

“Hey there, handsome. Now I can see you,” You cooed, and you got the tiniest glint of a smile from him.

He sniffed again. “I’m just worried.”

“About?”

“I’m so scared to lose you.” His voice cracked again. “I feel like I’ll stop breathing or something. And I feel like somehow that’s…wrong? Like I feel as though Barbie would say it is wrong.”

“Would Barbie say that? And even if she did, why would that matter, my sweet?”

Ken pondered this for a moment. “I’ve tried so hard to move on, and I have moved on, and it’s because you make me feel…insane things, y/n.” He exhaled those last words out as if doing so would nail them into you, that you’d understand without him having to explain further.

You nodded, cradling his face in your hands, and he automatically kissed your palm before nuzzling his face into it like always.

“You make me feel like I am someone,” he whispered, gulping before finishing his thought, “you make me feel whole.”

You leaned your forehead into his, and he lowered his eyes again, embracing the feeling of you close to him, watching as his tears dripped off his face and onto his lap.

“You are someone, Ken. And even if you don’t know exactly who that is yet, that’s okay. You’re someone to me.”

Ken sobbed and buried his face in your neck again, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, tracing little shapes into his back, something you had recently learned made him feel relaxed.

His breathed shuddered as he tried to regain control over his tears. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorr-“

“No, Ken, you don’t get to be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I don’t know where I belong without you.”

“You don’t have to,” You soothed. “I’m here, and I like feeling like I belong to you.”

He pulled back now, your eyes gazing into his as he searched you for any sign of dishonesty.

“You feel like you belong to me?” He breathed.

“I feel like we belong to each other.” You pushed some hair that had fallen into his face.

“Yeah?” A light breeze danced around the two of you, and you brushed away a fresh set of Ken’s tears that appeared when you nodded.

His crying felt less from a source of pain and more as a form of relief now, and you held him close to you and pressed kisses onto his hair as he experienced his release.

“I’ve felt so stressed for so long,” he revealed.

“About us?”

“Yes. That you’ll get tired of me, and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He sat up a little straighter and you leaned forward to kiss him, and he noticed right away and closed the distance himself as he crashed his lips into yours. The saltiness from his tears mixed with the taste of him, and you kissed him harder, wanting him to feel how much you felt for him.

“I love you, Ken,” You told him earnestly. “I want to be with you, and I want you to want to be with me.”

“I want nothing more than to be with you,” he replied, his lips still pressing into yours with sweet kisses.

“You’ll figure out everything that you’re wanting to, I promise. It takes time. And I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Ken held you and sighed into your mouth, hand resting on the back of your head to keep your mouth against his, kissing you passionately.

“How can I make sure you feel loved?” You breathed in-between his kisses.

“Anything you do makes me feel loved.”

You leaned your full bodyweight into him, encouraging him to lay back on the towel. The sun had begun to set, and the sea breeze tickled your skin a little as it began to cool down outside.

You straddled Ken’s torso and leaned over to look into his eyes. He breathed deeply and rested his hands on yours that had placed themselves on his strong chest. You began kissing him down his neck and collarbone, then down his sternum and abs, taking your time once you neared his lower torso area and his muscles clenched at your touch as he let out a soft moan.

You tugged his shorts down enough to pull his member free and began slowly began pumping him as he hadn’t fully hardened yet, and one of his long arms reached to grip onto your wrist as it worked him up and down to hold onto you, his eyes closing.

“What would you like, Ken?”

“I just want to love on you.” He hardened fully then and began to sit up, but your hand pressed onto his chest and instead he propped himself up on his forearms.

“Why don’t I make love to you?” You asked, moving around so you could peel off your bikini bottoms and toss them aside.

Ken smiled, eyes red from crying but shining with love for you, and pulled you closer to him. “I would love that.” He reached for your cover-up that you hadn’t taken off all day and pulled it over your head.

You smiled and positioned yourself over his cock but he reached his hand underneath to rub between your folds. “Let me get you ready first.” He sat up more now so you could hold onto his shoulders as he pressed two fingers into you and you shuddered, Ken pressing his other hand into your lower back to help you balance. “Ride my fingers, y/n,” he whispered, his eyes not leaving yours as you slowly began moving around on them, moaning.

“That’s so good,” he praised as your hips moved around and his digits sunk in deeper. “Fuck my fingers, my beautiful girl.” He curled his knuckles a little when he was deep enough to hit your g-spot and you fell into him a little, Ken’s breathing picking up with yours as you whimpered against his gentle pleasuring of you.

“My beautiful girl,” he breathed, and your arms wrapped around his neck to hold him closer to you.

“Ken,” you moaned, “I wanna pleasure you.”

He kissed down your neck. “Soon.”

“Now, please,” you almost whined. “Please, Ken.”

“Mmmmm,” he moaned against your pulse point and relented, pulling his fingers from you, and you reached down to position his cock underneath you, slowly lowering yourself on him.

Ken choked out a loud moan and shuddered, gripping your waist.

“Lay down, my good boy,” you cooed. “Let me pleasure you.”

Ken almost collapsed back onto the towel, holding your hand in his as he watched you circle your hips slowly with him inside you, both of you moaning loudly at the sensation.

“Y/n,” he begged, “please, please move.”

“I’m getting to it,” you smiled, setting your free hand on his abs to steady yourself as you began bucking your hips. Ken’s head fell back and his body tensed as you slowly fucked him, wanting him to feel everything in soft, smooth motions.

His hands flew to grip your hips when you began fucking him up and down, and his hips flew up to meet yours a couple of times, making you cry out.

“Let me hold you,” Ken said, and you nodded as he sat up and wrapped your legs around his waist then held you as he fucked up into you.

You both held each other and moaned almost incoherently to each other, and your body felt like it was exploding in fireworks, every touch from Ken electric. Ken’s heart sang every time you made a noise when he thrust into you, when you gripped him, when you called his name, your touch like a healing potion.

You came unexpectedly, your climax hitting you hard and you stiffened, shivering as Ken held you tight and fucked you through it, then stared deeply into your eyes before kissing you while he rode out his own.

You sat intertwined, gasping into each other, the only other sound being the waves crashing behind you, the sun having set during your love-making.

You saw the reflection of the moon in Ken’s eyes as he brushed hair out of your face, and smiled. He smiled back.

“Whatever we go through, we’ll get through it together, okay?” You said, and Ken confirmed his response by pulling your lips into his one more time.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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Am I the Asshole for not wanting to live with my fiance's partner?

So context. Me (30F) and my fiance (24M) are polyamorous, and he has one other partner (26F).

My fiance is currently applying for a new job, one that if he gets will most likely mean we have to move a couple of states away. When he started the application process for this job he and his other parter were a lot more casual, and he was worried moving would ruin whatever thing was between them.

Instead, what happened was they confessed their feelings for each other and decided to date, which is the part I'm happy about, for both of them! However, both my fiance and his partner don't do long distance, so, caught up in the euphoria of asking them to date, my partner invited them to move with us and they said yes.

At the time I was just happy for my fiance, but the more it's discussed and the closer we get to my fiance getting this job (the application process has been about half a year? It's been annoying and stressful), the less ok I am with the plan.

I don't want to live with other people at all. I'm a very private person who likes their own space, and I don't feel comfortable with housemates other than my partner. As well as that, he's had some assumptions about arrangements, such as assuming we'd just buy a bigger bed and share between the 3 of us.

I don't mind sharing on occasion so my partner is happy, but I don't want the default bedroom space to be all 3 of us. I'm friendly with my metamour, but we're not close, and I'm not comfortable with the amount of integration my fiance wants her to have in our lives. The alternate however is something like scheduled room swaps, which I also know I hate. My fiance and I did this previously when I broke up with our mutual partner, and it didn't work well for us.

I want my fiance to be happy, and I know how much he cares about his other partner. I just know that for him to get what he wants here I'm going to have to make massive sacrifices to my comfort and needs, and I'm not sure how I can make that work for him.

So, am I the asshole for not even really wanting to try living with my fiance's partner when we move states?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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gyu-effect · 1 year

Text

(tryna do) what lovers do || y.jh

"WE ARE JUST TRYNA DO WHAT LOVERS DO”

PAIRING || Jeonghan x Female Reader

GENRES || Fake Dating AU, College AU, Humour, Fluff, Friends To Lovers AU, Rich Kids AU

SUMMARY || When you had roped Jeonghan into your idea of being a ‘pretend’ couple, you did not expect the lie to grow this big. What was supposed to be a one day thing soon became a rather frequent occurrence. And the gravity of the situation did not really hit you until your parents were requesting an audience with your new ‘boyfriend’. Will the two of you be able to keep your act till then?

Or, in which, you keep promising yourself that this would be the last day you pretend to have feelings for Yoon Jeonghan.

SERIES MASTERLIST || teen, age

MUSIC || What Lover Do by Maroon 5 and SZA

WARNINGS || Joshua being a menace to the society, one mention of threesome as a joke (I really tried to keep it sfw but this was inevitable really sorry), drunk Jeonghan, a make out scene, probably very wrong elite party etiquettes (don’t come at me pls), a bit of swearing

WORD COUNT || 15k

A/N || As much as I was dying to write this fic, a lot of times I had to stop it because the flow was so bad. I hope it doesn’t affect the outcome so do tell me what you guys think about it! I would love to hear all of your opinions about it! Also for better understanding, Jeonghan’ suit was the one he wore for Don’t Lie Series Pt.2!

TAGLIST || @fragmentof-indifference @millielovescheol @jkbabiey @kokoiinuts @alyssng @cecedrake2217 @dr3aluv5 @romeosbreastmilk @y00nzin0 [thank you for being interested! if you wanted to be added to the series taglist or my general taglist, send me an ask!]

“Oh my god, why am I even here?” You sobbed to yourself, as you frantically turned the pages of the thick textbook, searching desperately for anything that could help you in your project. Despite being in the library for the past four hours, you had managed to write only two pages of your five page essay. You cursed yourself mentally for picking such a difficult topic in an attempt to be different from others.

“To get your degree and a job that will secure your future?” Seungkwan replied, as though he hadn’t been complaining about his own work a minute ago.

“Thanks. I wasn’t really sure before why I applied for college but now I definitely am.” You muttered, squeezing your eyes shut as you closed your laptop. As the semester was approaching the end, all the project deadlines had clogged up your calendar and you were pathetically struggling to finish everything on time.

“You did not ask yourself this question when you were at the party yesterday.” He reminded you, causing you to open your eyes and glare at him.

“I’ve been to a maximum of three parties throughout this entire semester minus our initiation party. How much more do you want me to quit? If I don’t let out my stress in some way or the other I’m going to combust.”

“Lies. You hate these parties and your stress busting mechanism is to go shopping with Kim Yeri.”

You raised your hands in defeat, but still stuck out your tongue at your best friend. Just because he was right didn’t mean you couldn’t complain and whine to him.

“Speaking of parties,” he continued after shutting his laptop and looking at you, “What are you going to do about the one next week?”

You stared at him.

“Next week? What party?”

“Min Seolah’s party? She sent an invitation to you?”

“Ah,” you said, vaguely remembering something in your inbox which you might have deleted out of anger at your pending work. “I just won’t go. Where’s it taking place? Her apartment?”

Now it was Seungkwan’s turn to stare at you.

“You didn’t go through the invitation did you?” He glared at you when you smiled sheepishly at him. “It’s an elite party. And you are expected to have an escort. In more polite terms, a date.”

You felt your smile dip as soon as you heard the word ‘elite’. You absolutely hated these formal parties. More than boring, they were painful beyond words and talking with all the powerful delegates who were usually present there always exhausted you mentally.

“Can’t I- can’t we excuse ourselves?”

“Our parents will be there.”

That line hit you like a truck and you finally felt the realisation sink in. “Oh my god. Oh my god, Seungkwan. I-I need to pick a dress! And shoes! And-And an escort! Where the hell am I supposed to get a date?” Even Seungkwan didn’t seem to have an answer for this. You continued your rambling as the panic finally settled in properly. “Oh god. How does one, who had next to zero social interactions outside her friend circle, manage to find a date in less than a week? And how are you so calm about this? Do you want to pretend to be each other’s escorts? Everyone knows there’s nothing between us anyways.”

“Er, about that.” Seungkwan began, awkwardly scratching his neck. “I already have a date.”

For the second time that day, Boo Seungkwan had dropped another bomb on you. You closed your mouth that had been hanging open and edged your chair closer to his suspiciously.

“Wait, what? When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me anything?”

“It happened just right before I came into the library!” He began, clearly flustered as he was avoiding your gaze and aimlessly flipping the pages of the book in front of him (it was actually your book, a subject he didn’t even have). “Sowon just- just randomly asked whether I wanted to go with her because she thought I was cool and I was so taken aback, I said yes without even thinking-”

“Is that all it takes to ask you out? Just tell you that you are cool?” You asked, leaning back and grinning at your furiously blushing best friend. You had seen Seungkwan embarrassed (and had sometimes even been the cause of it), but to see him this shy because of some girl from economics seemed worthy to make fun of. In the back of your mind, you made a mental note to tell this to Chan.

“Are you worried about that? Shouldn’t you be worried about your lack of date, instead?”

“Yeah…But I’ve got to finish this assignment before.” You always had your priorities right, and getting a degree was definitely one of them. “And I’m hungry.”

“It’s almost lunch time. Want to grab something from the canteen?” Seungkwan asked, checking his watch. You nodded and both of you packed up your things, walking out into the sunlight after what felt like an eternity of being in the dark library.

No sooner had you stepped out of the threshold, you felt a gush of wind from behind you that nearly knocked you over, but Seungkwan wasn’t that lucky. He stumbled onto the ground as that gush of wind (now identified as Kwon Soonyoung) grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up. Or rather yanked him up.

“Hey! Do you want to die?” Seungkwan yelled, as you blinked and tried to process what had just happened. Then feeling a smile tug at the corner of your lips at the sight of Soonyoung nervously apologising to Seungkwan, you gently patted the latter’s back.

“Are you okay?” You asked, his neck visibly red at the sudden tugging of his shirt collar.

“I highly doubt you should be smiling while asking me that?”

“I- okay I’m sorry.” By now you were grinning. “Drink some water, you should be fine. And Soonyoung, why the hell did you try to knock us out?”

“I wasn’t trying to! I just wanted to surprise Seungkwan from behind but I guess I ran a bit too fast.”

“A bit?” Seungkwan was still massaging his neck. “I bet you would have told that excuse to the judges for attempted murder after getting arrested because my head got dislocated from my spine.”

“Anyways, what do you think they are serving us for lunch?” Soonyoung asked, hastily changing the subject.

Before you or Seungkwan could reply, all of a sudden you realised you had left your jacket on the chair in the library. “Uh, guys I’ll catch up with you in the mess? I left my jacket behind.”

“You don’t want us to wait for you?” Seungkwan asked but you shook your head in negative.

“It’s fine. But don’t forget to save me a seat or else I’ll steal all your tiger plushies Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung faked a look of horror, pulling Seungkwan and breaking into a run. This earned an eye roll from Seungkwan as he waved you goodbye. Giggling at their retreating figure you went back inside the library. Thankfully, it was still there and slipping into it, you quickly walked out again.

This time when you walked out, you found yourself staring at the couple underneath the willow tree near the library. It was still full of leaves despite it being almost autumn. It was almost cute to see the couple until you remembered your own position; you had to find a date before the week ended.

The sun glared on you and you instinctively took a step back, immediately colliding with someone. The two of you let out an ‘ah!’ as you stumbled back more before you felt the person’s hands on your shoulder, stabilising you.

“I’m so sorry!” You gushed, turning back to look at the person. You found yourself looking up at Yoon Jeonghan’s equally surprised face as he helped you up. “Jeonghan, shit, I’m so sorry. I should have looked.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine. Are you okay? Don’t walk backwards like that, you might get hurt. Unless, you have Mad-Eye Moody's eyes.” He joked casually and you smiled sheepishly at him.

Jeonghan was a good friend of yours; he was in your close friends circle and you thoroughly enjoyed his presence (as long as you weren’t the one getting pranked). He also happened to be smart and handsome, a plus point which made him a campus heartthrob. As you took in his appearance, you noticed he had grown out his hair a bit. A gentle wind blew against the two of you and his hair ruffled slightly, sunlight catching his face as he grinned at you.

And then, it struck you.

“What? What’s wrong?” He asked, as you stared at him, your mouth slightly open. “Don’t tell me there’s sauce on my face and Joshua didn’t tell me about it.”

That snapped you back to the present and you shook your head. “Er, no. Um, Jeonghan?”

“Yeah?”

You knew for sure he had been invited to the same upscale party as you, but you had to make sure before asking him.

“You don’t have a significant other, do you? Or maybe a crush?”

Now it was time for him to stare at you.

“Uh…no? Where is this coming from?”

“Then do you want to date me?”

Jeonghan stared at you for a good few seconds, as though trying to find out if you were joking. Immediately you realised how sudden you sounded and quickly corrected yourself, while grabbing his arm to calm him down. “I mean, would you like to be my escort for Min Seolha’s party? That is, if you still don’t have anyone?”

“Oh.” Jeonghan laughed awkwardly, before patting your hand. “But you know, you are supposed to get a potential partner as your escort. I mean…”

His voice trailed off and you dropped your hand, feeling slightly embarrassed. You were a bit disappointed, but you could understand where he was coming from and you definitely did not want to pressurise him.

“Ah, of course I understand! Forget I asked. It’s just that, I don’t have anyone in my mind right now so I thought if anyone who was comfortable with me was willing to go-”

“I’m not uncomfortable with you!” He exclaimed, grabbing your hand. “I just- I just thought maybe you would want to go with someone you like. Or…yeah, damn. You are right. Even I don’t have anyone in mind and I definitely can’t find anyone in a week.”

“If it makes you too uncomfortable going with a friend, we can pretend to be a couple.”

The words were out of your mouth before you even thought about it but it was too late to take it back. Jeonghan looked taken aback and you were going to apologise to him once more but instead he nodded at your plan.

“Oh yeah, that sounds like a good idea. It won’t even raise any odd questions.”

You didn’t expect Jeonghan to agree to your plan so quickly, let alone the last part so all you could was a flustered laugh. This earned a soft smile from him as he asked you, “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” You lied. “Don’t tell me later on it’s a prank, okay?”

His smile fell a little as he pouted at you, immediately causing you to wince at your words. “Hey, just because I cheat at games doesn’t mean I play with people’s emotions.”

“I know, I know. I was just joking. You are an angel, Jeonghan.” It was true though. He was a very sweet friend and always took care of those around him. In fact at get-togethers, he was always the one who made sure everyone had enough food. He helped with notes or anything related to studies. You did know that he was a really nice person, except when he was trying to be a menace to the society.

“By the way, do we have any rules or something?” He asked.

“Rules?”

“We need to make this a little believable right? Or else people are going to easily realise that we just agreed to be each other's date because we couldn’t find anyone and honestly, that’s a bit embarrassing.”

“Yeah.” You scratched your neck, not having thought this far. What he was saying was true, if this plan backfired you both could become a laughing stock and the last thing you need in your already full plate was another lecture from your parents.” “Yeah, I think we do.”

“Then do you want to have lunch in my room?”

“It’s a good thing you got the dorm closest to the library.” You said sarcastically, as you entered his room and finally caught your breath. You collapsed onto his sofa, mentally cursing the building planner for putting the library near the entrance of the campus and some of the boys’ dormitories at the other end. Jeonghan flopped down beside you, equally out of breath despite doing this for quite some time now.

“Hey, it could have been worse. I could have got an apartment outside the campus and who knows, we might have still been travelling by bus just to get to my place.”

“That’s true.” You grumbled. “But in that case, we would have just gone to my dorm.”

“I’ll need a special pass to enter the girls’ dorm.” He groaned. “I wish our college wasn’t so strict for first years. Anyways, we should-”

“Hey, have you seen my shampoo?”

A new voice came into the living room and you turned towards it, just to find yourself staring at a half-naked Hong Joshua, standing in front of the bedroom door with just a towel around his torso. You felt your cheek burn as you took in his dripping torso, muscles flexing with almost the slightest movement. At first he hadn’t noticed you but then his eyes locked with yours, causing you to realise what you were doing.

But before you could even look away, you felt Jeonghan’s hands practically slam into your face, covering your eyes from the (amazing) sight you were staring at.

“Hey!” Jeonghan yelped, his voice an octave higher as he too sounded flustered by this. “Why did you come out without checking if anyone was even there? You heard her voice right?”

“I-I- I did not expect-” Joshua stammered and you interrupted him.

“I’m sorry!” You squeaked, still recovering. “I’m sorry that I looked!”

“Uh, no. I shouldn’t have- I should- Yeah, I should just go. Catch up with you guys later!”

Once you heard the bedroom door slam shut, Jeonghan removed his hand from your eyes. You looked at him and he still seemed shocked, and even a bit embarrassed.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” He muttered, clearing his throat as he poured out a cup of water for you. You took the cup from his hand with a small thank you, glad that you had something to cool yourself down.

“No. I’m sorry. I should have immediately looked away.”

“It was sudden.” Jeonghan said, as though understanding you completely. He still seemed unable to meet your eyes, and was busy rearranging the coasters kept on the coffee table in front of you, despite them being already arranged properly. Somehow looking at the Yoon Jeonghan like this set off the devilish side inside you.

“Does Joshua work out everyday?” You asked casually.

“He does. Not only does he have a gym membership, he also has some stuff in his room.” Jeonghan replied, without missing a beat. He seemed to have regained his composure because he smiled at you and asked, “Why? having second thoughts about me and want to go for Joshua?”

“What?” You spluttered over your water, your time to be taken aback. “I- I would never-”

“Relax, I’m just joking. If you are with him, your ears might drop because of him singing ‘Sunday morning, rain is falling’. Who knows, he probably went back to get showered on because it’s not raining today. It is Sunday, after all.”

You stared at him, trying to make which part was real and which wasn’t. Even though his smile was genuine, you had fallen for his tricks quite a few times and you knew better not to trust that angelic smile. But having a proper one on one conversation with him made you realise how convincing he was.

“Er, let’s go back to why I came here. I think we should make some boundaries so that neither of us are uncomfortable with each other and also some points which might convince people we are dating.”

“Right.” Jeonghan said, magically conjuring up a paper and pen from somewhere. “So first of all, I think we should decide on pet names.”

You paused, trying to think of something plausible for him. For some reason, the very thought of having to call him baby or sweetheart in public was making you cringe (and you were sure he would too) so you thought of something that he won't mind being called and at the same time showed your closeness.

Before you could tell him your thoughts, the bedroom door opened once again and Joshua walked out (this time fully clothed and dry). He pulled a chair and sat himself opposite to both of you, giving you an awkward smile.

“Let me apologise again. I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable or something.” He said. You shook your head, before giving him your apology too.

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have stared.” Joshua nodded as though accepting your apology and then pointed at the paper in Jeonghan’s hand. “What are you both up to?”

“We are dating.”

“We are pretending to be a couple”

The two of you said it at the same time, and you felt dumb. You knew Jeonghan and Joshua were best friends but you didn’t expect Jeonghan to tell him this immediately. Letting out an awkward laughter at Joshua, you turned towards Jeonghan who was looking at you surprised.

“I’m sorry, was I not supposed to tell this?” He asked and you quietly grumbled. It wasn’t that you weren’t going to tell Seungkwan either, but you thought maybe it would be after you and Jeonghan had finalised everything and you had sorted your thoughts.

“Er, it’s fine.” You said hastily as Joshua got up to leave. “I think it’s better if you could help us too.” He smiled and sat down, looking excited as though the three of you were planning to pull the greatest prank of all time.

“Joshua’s an expert in this department.” Jeonghan said, and you turned to look at him. His eyes were practically shining as he smiled innocently at his roommate. Looking at him like this, you felt a smile tug at the corner of your lips, something infectious about his childishness.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s just exaggerating.” Joshua said, rolling his eyes. “You know how to flirt as much as I do.”

“Then what do you suggest I should call Y/N?”

“To be honest, I think it would be better if you just call her by her name.” Joshua said, actually thinking hard about it. “Your voice kind of goes soft when you are talking to your loved ones though, so maybe try that instead with Y/N’s name.”

“Hey Joshua. People call you Josh, right?” You asked very seriously, leaning towards him a bit. He nodded and you continued. “Then should I call you Shua?”

“Hey! We are deciding pet names for each other! Not for you and Joshua!” Jeonghan protested, though he was laughing at your seriousness. Joshua laughed too and gave you a thumbs up, causing you to lean back into the couch, satisfied.

Then turning towards Jeonghan you said, “Do you mind if I call you Hannie?”

He cocked his head towards the side as his eyes widened a little. But this time he didn’t look surprised, instead he looked genuinely curious as to why you picked that name, silently urging you to go on.

You felt your cheeks tingle with heat a little at the way he was looking at you attentively, so you quickly took a sip of your water before continuing. “Well, like Joshua said you kind of speak softly with people you are very comfortable with. So I felt…Hannie suited you a lot. I think it’s soft enough to suit you.” You said sheepishly.

“I thought you were calling me Shua?” Joshua interrupted, an evil glint in his eyes. You immediately knew he was going to pull your leg so you decided to play along. “I was joking. I use pet names only for my beloved boyfriend.”

You stressed on the ‘beloved boyfriend’ part and looked at Jeonghan. He was busy scribbling something on the paper but when he heard you accentuate that part, he looked up, eyes flicking between you and Joshua as the whole room stared at him. He looked surprised (this seemed to be the only response you could get out of him today) but nonetheless when his eyes landed on yours, he smiled at you softly.

Sunlight glided into the room through their partially open balcony, throwing light on Jeonghan and giving him almost an angelic glow. His eyes curved into half moons as he smiled at you, his long hair falling in front of his eyes a little. For the first time you noticed how delicate his features were, like he was a beautiful statue but carved in glass.

You felt your heart stutter a little and you frowned. Looking at the glass of water in your hand, you emptied it one go. Maybe you weren’t drinking enough water? It was afternoon and it had been quite some time since you left your dorm.

“Oh, sorry! I promised you lunch right?” Jeonghan exclaimed, thinking you drank all the water because you were hungry. Before you could respond, he had already gotten up, walking towards some sheafs of pamphlets kept on their tv cabinet. “You like braised chicken, don’t you?”

You blinked at him, surprised. “How did you know that?”

“You always order that when we all eat out.” Jeonghan stated causally. He began flipping all the pamphlets, then finding one particular restaurant’s, he took out his phone and dialled the number. Was Jeonghan always this attentive?

“What about you?” You asked Joshua. He got up and sat beside you. “Jeonghan knows what I usually order. So, can I ask you a question?”

Through the corner of your eyes you saw Jeonghan slip into his bedroom. “Sure, go ahead Shua.”

He grinned at you and leaned in closer, until you could smell the faint scent of his soap. You saw his eyes change to seriousness as his voice dropped a little before asking, “Can I ask why are you and Jeonghan doing this?”

“Oh.” It was out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. Here you thought he was going to either flirt with you or let you in on a serious secret about Jeonghan but instead he asked this. You laughed awkwardly to cover up your flusteredness. What are you thinking, Y/N? You are with Jeonghan now! This isn’t the time to think about his best friend and roommate! “Ah, it’s just that we need an escort to Min Seolah’s party next week so me and Jeonghan decided to pretend we are a couple just so that we can be each other’s escort.”

“Ah, then were you open to anyone you were comfortable with?”

“Yeah, as long as the other person too was comfortable with it. It kind of just popped out of my mouth, to be honest.”

He scrunched his nose a little, as though regretting something. “I wish I was there instead of Jeonghan then.”

You blinked at his words, trying to process what he had just said. Had the Hong Joshua said he wished it was him in a fake relationship with you? Sure the two of you were friends but still, it did nothing to stop the sudden whooping feeling in your stomach.

“Too bad it was me then.”

You turned to see Jeonghan leaning against his door frame, grinning at the two of you indicating that he was joking. Immediately you felt guilt clutch at your throat. You had roped Yoon Jeonghan into your proposition of dating but here you were now, flirting with his close friend.

Joshua, on the other hand, seemed unfazed about it. If anything, he looked amused as he leaned back into the couch lazily, studying Jeonghan’s expression.

“Anyways, they’ll deliver in half an hour's time. Come on, Y/N. We’ve got a lot to discuss.”

“What else?” He was suddenly so serious that you were taken aback slightly.

“We need to talk about physical touch and kissing too, of course.”

“Kissing?!”

“So did you two discuss about kissing?” Kim Yeri, your roommate, asked as you threw your face into your pillow to muffle your scream.

“No, I ran out of there before we even got started on that topic. Talking about physical touch itself was so embarrassing, I thought I would die if we started talking about kissing. He’s so serious about it. Why did I even suggest such a thing?”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures, bestie.” Yeri said comfortingly, patting your back.

“I mean, he’s so nice to me. I feel like…I feel like I’m using him or something.”

“Then don’t use him. Use this opportunity to…ah, you know, get a boyfriend.” You glared at the girl sitting on your bed and she winked at you, causing you to get up and smack her lightly with a pillow.

“No way! This is just an act! How shallow am I to fall for a man who agreed to pretend to be my boyfriend?”

Yeri shrugged, as though it wasn’t a big deal. “Happens all the time in movies. Besides, Yoon Jeonghan isn’t that bad, is he? He’s funny, friendly, handsome and smart. He’s so fucking pretty too. Everyone loves his jokes and pranks.”

“Yeah, as long as you aren’t the one getting pranked.” You muttered, eyes darting to your phone. He had told you to message him once you reached and you had done, but he still hadn’t even read it yet. You mulled Yeri’s thoughts in your head. She was right, Jeonghan was pretty. You had always known that but somehow seeing him against the sunlight made you see him in a different light. Quite Literally.

“So when’s your next date?”

“It’s not a date…” You began, but stopped when Yeri raised an eyebrow at you. “Fine, we are just going shopping to buy some ‘couple’ things.”

“Sounds like a rather cute date to me.”

“Yeri!”

How the rest of the evening and the next day passed by quickly was shocking to you (you wished time passed this quickly during statistics class but no, time and you had to have a beef with time). You had let Seungkwan into your plan and he had also sworn that he wouldn’t tell it to anyone, even if he was being threatened with not being able to drink iced americano for an entire year (a threat you were highly tempted to try out but alas, you loved your best friend too much). But he was a committed best friend. Seungkwan had even written down some points to make your relationship more realistic and you had hastily stuffed it down your coat’s pocket, so that you could show it to Jeonghan later on.

Very soon, you found yourself and Jeonghan seated on the sofa of the high end boutique near to your college, waiting for the attendants to attend to you both. You were a regular customer here due to your trips with Yeri and even sometimes with Seungkwan, so the shop assistant knew you from before. They had greeted you with their usual friendly smile they always gave you, until their eyes landed on Jeonghan, travelling down to your entwined hands.

Jeonghan had insisted that the two of you hold hands when you enter the shop, saying that it would be a practice. At first you were a bit uncertain, but then he reminded you that it was ideal for your boyfriend to take you shopping, and that shop assistants did not gossip much. You were still not sure about it but nonetheless slipped your hand in his.

His bony fingers grasped your gently as he gave you a smile, pulling you into the boutique with him. Despite his hand being cold, you felt your fingers tingle underneath his touch, a sensation you kept feeling even after he had let go of your hand.

The attendants looked a bit too elated as they ushered you and Jeonghan into a room, telling they’ll be right back to attend the two of you.

Presently, Jeonghan was bobbing his legs beside you, both of your knees brushing against each other slightly. He seemed unfazed by this and so should have been you, but for some reason this made you hyper aware of your both’s closeness. You could smell his cologne, making you realise you had never really gone shopping with another man who wasn’t, well, Seungkwan.

It also made you wonder whether he had done this before with someone else. He looked so experienced, the way he just casually checked over some of the items displayed, as though he had a habit of buying what caught his eyes for his significant other.

“Have you done this before?” You asked, and he looked at you confused, blinking as though asking you to elaborate. “I mean,” you said after clearing your throat. For some reason you were feeling very awkward asking him this, almost feeling the heat tingle on your cheeks. “Have you gone on a date to the boutique to buy couple clothes?”

“Ah, no. This is my first time actually.” He said with a soft smile. You felt relief settle in you as you automatically smiled back at him, before catching yourself. What are you doing? You screamed internally, wondering why Jeonghan was so soft with you.

You realised that the way he smiled and the way he talked to you had always given you this mad urge to melt right then and there in front of him, as though you just couldn't bring yourself to be harsh with him. True, you had yelled at him a few times for cheating (quite blatantly at that) while playing games but it had always ended in laughter and giggles, as though you couldn’t stay angry at him for long.

He gave you the urge to stare at him for hours, studying and etching his features into your brain forever, as though he was a piece you would have to sculpt later on. It amazed you that no matter how many times you looked at him, you always found him beautiful as though it was the first time you had laid your eyes on him.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the shop assistant, asking what the two of you would like.

“Can we get clothes which complement each other? Like even subtly is fine for us.” Jeonghan asked.

Hell, he even had an amazing voice. He was so well mannered that you were sure if you had met Jeonghan at one of your parent’s parties instead, you would have fallen heads over heels with him.

“Not matching couple clothes?”

“No. Something which complements each other would be better. What do you think, Y/N?”

To be honest, you thought that was a genius idea. In that way, you could even wear the dress after your ‘breakup’, without making things awkward. Leave it to Yoon Jeonghan to sort out everything just perfectly.

“Yeah, I think that is a brilliant idea too. Oh, we also need to pick your suit and my dress for the party.” You reminded him.

“Do you want to choose for each other?”

“What?” The question had completely caught you off guard. Wasn’t picking dresses for each other something couples did? You both really didn’t need to act as a couple too much here, so why was he suggesting it?

“We don’t have to do it, if you are feeling awkward about it.” He said gently. If Yoon Jeonghan treated you sweetly one more time, you were sure you would start smiling at him like a fool constantly. Then his eyes lit up mischievously and he leaned in, as though about to tell you his biggest secret. “But I do have a great fashion choice.”

You let out a laugh at this, amused that that was what he had wanted to say. Smiling at him you shook your head, indicating that he could choose for you.

“What’s your favourite colour?” He asked, looking at dresses hanging on the hangers being rolled in front of the two of you.

“I like pink. Or any light shade, actually.”

“Then how’s this one?” He pointed at one of the pink gowns that had caught your eyes previously, and you nodded eagerly at him.

“I’ll try that out!” You said as you walked into the changing room, glad that both of your tastes had aligned well. Once you were done you stepped out, clearing your throat to get Jeonghan’s attention, who was busy on his phone. He looked up and froze for a second, before his eyes darted all over your figure, checking you out with his mouth slightly open.

You felt your cheeks flush at the way he was looking at you, the way he swallowed and then smiled at you gently. Your stomach fluttered at his action, unable to stop yourself from mirroring his smile. Jeonghan got up and walked over to you, grinning at you as he cocked his head towards the side slightly.

And for some reason, that action made you feel even more giddy.

“How do I look?” You asked, sounding breathless for some reason. Embarrassed, you tried to cover it up by pretending to be excited, and twirling in front of the mirror once to see for yourself.

“You look amazing. Like really, really beautiful.”

He sounded really genuine and you beamed at him, equally happy that both of you chose a dress that suited you very well. You had been called beautiful many times, mostly by men trying to flatter you or your father, but something about the way Jeonghan said it made you shy.

“Should we choose one for you?” You asked once you came back from the changing room, eyeing all the tuxedos that had been brought in now. Jeonghan nodded and you walked over to the rack, searching for one that would bring out his delicate features more beautifully.

“How about this one?” You asked, pointing at a white coloured one. It looked like a conductor’s tuxedo and you felt that it would really go well with his long hair. He nodded and went inside the changing room, while you sat down on the couch, waiting for him to return.

“Y/N?” Someone softly called you, and you looked up to see Jeonghan smiling at you, all dressed up in the outfit you had picked for him. He was just smiling, an expression he gave you quite often and honestly it shouldn’t have had much effect on you, it really shouldn’t. You should have just smiled back, complimented him, paid for your stuff and gone out to eat a round of ice cream that you had promised him.

But instead, it had a great effect on you.

Just Yoon Jeonghan standing there and smiling at you had a huge effect on you. It made time slow down as you felt your heart hammer loudly in your chest, squeezing painfully every now and then. If you hadn't been sitting down your knees might have given away, breath gone for a second as you admired for the millionth time how beautiful he was.

Because he really was. He looked so handsome, so pretty and so- every adjective that you could think of but couldn’t really because of how goddamned ethereal he looked right now. It was like the suit was tailor made for just him. He looked like a prince straight out from your dreams and it took you all your willpower to stop fluttering in your heart.

Realising you were staring at him for too long, you looked away immediately, releasing a breath you didn’t know you had been holding. Your cheeks burned in shame at the effect he had on you, despite it being just the second time you had hung out with him after deciding to fake your relationship.

You had known him for quite some time, it wasn’t like the two of you had become friends just yesterday.

And yet, you felt like you were ‘rediscovering’ Jeonghan. Like his smile for example. Even though you knew he was pretty, nothing prepared you ever for the sudden flutters in your heart everytime he smiled at you. Or the way he smelled a bit too good, when he had come to pick you up earlier, like he had just stepped out of the shower.

“Y/N?” Jeonghan called you, jostling back to the present. His usual angelic smile was now replaced by a smirk, and you groaned internally and cursed yourself for digging up your own grave. Why did you have to stare at him like that? “Do I look so good that I left you speechless?”

“Shut up, Yoon. You look fine.” You emphasised on the ‘fine’, rolling your eyes so that he got your message but that just caused him to grin at you more.

Nope. Nope. There was no way you were developing feelings for Yoon Jeonghan. Definitely not after you knew how sinister he was and definitely not after you asked him to be your fake boyfriend. You didn’t want to inflate his ego by making him think that he could make you fall for him by just literally breathing, all the while he played the act of being your fake date.

Slowly you got up from your seat and walked past him casually, letting the shop owner know that you were ready to pay.

You were determined to not let Jeonghan’s presence shake you. It’s just for a week, Y/N. After that the two of you can just go back to being friends and this stupid crush you might be developing will go away.

What you didn’t though, was that you were bad at predicting the future. Vey, very bad.

“Hey, I think both Joshua and Jeonghan have a thing for you. Ever considered being in a poly relationship?” Seungkwan whispered into your ears not-so-subtly.

You glared at him for this scandalous comment before quickly glancing at Jeonghan and Joshua sitting opposite to the two of you. Luckily, they both were busy with their midterm project and were discussing something while comparing notes on their laptops.

The promised ice cream ‘date’ of three days ago had to be cancelled because it had begun raining all of a sudden and neither of you wanted to get wetter than what you were when you ran into the bus stand. So you had promised to take him to the little cafe inside your campus instead, and Joshua and Seungkwan decided to tag along to act as ‘chaperones’, though you weren’t sure what they were chaperoning because both you and Jeonghan had lots of assignments left and had been planning to do your own work.

“Shut up, Boo!” You hissed, never wanting to murder your best friend more than right now. “What if they heard you?”

“What about it? Both of them know that everyone wants to have a threesome with them.”

“Have a threesome with whom?”

You turned to Joshua in horror, feeling embarrassment creep into your cheeks as he eagerly looked between the two of you. Jeonghan on the other hand looked surprised, as though not even sure what the conversation was about.

“Have a threesome with whom? Us?” Joshua asked again, his smile a bit too excited for his own good. You thought he would be uncomfortable with it but instead he looked excited about this conversation, causing you to groan as you buried your face in your hand.

“Stop acting like you don’t know! Don’t rub it on me that the two of you are more handsome than me!” Seungkwan sulked, giving his signature side eye to Joshua. But that just caused Joshua to smile more brightly at him, as though Seungkwan’s misery was his pleasure (which it probably was).

“I’m not rubbing it on you! I might be handsome but there’s no one cuter than you, Seungkwan. Right, Y/N?” You faked a look of disgust and pretended to puke over your drink. Though you wouldn’t admit it out loud, but you were even willing a fight a lion if it disagreed that your best friend was adorable and handsome (you dearly hoped it wouldn’t come down to that situation. The last time all of you went to the zoo, Minghao and Jihoon nearly pushed Soonyoung into the tiger’s den for claiming to be one so you learnt that whatever you told, your friends would try their level best to make it come true).

“Are you two flirting? Is this a double date?” Jeonghan asked, head turning between Joshua and Seungkwan as though he was watching a tennis match.

“No way, I’m only going to date the person who calls me Shua, no one else.”

Your eyes widened at his statement and you gulped in a huge amount of your drink, causing you to choke and violently cough. While Seungkwan and Joshua just laughed at you (you were literally dying and of course that would be the immediate response of the people you called friends), Jeonghan looked worriedly at you and reached out to gently pat your hand. You felt your breathing slowly ease down due to his action, and he grabbed your hand in his to gently rub circles with his thumb.

It was a rather small act from a friend who just cared about you. Nothing romantic or intimate at all, and yet you felt a warm fuzzy feeling grow at your heart. He smiled at you gently when you had completely stopped coughing, pouring a cup of water and handing it to you.

You were grateful for the drink and you took in a sip cautiously, your mind still wandering to the now disappearing feeling in your chest.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the waitress who came to your table, and you recognised her as someone you might have seen talking to your Applied Physics - I professor. She gave you, Seungkwan and Joshua a half-assed smile, but when her eyes landed on Jeonghan, she smiled at him in the most glamorous way ever.

“So what can I get you guys now?” She asked. Miyeon, as her name tag stated, was clearly talking to the entire table yet her eyes were trained only on Jeonghan. You saw him return her smile politely, and you felt your insides churn a little.

Because it was the same smile he always gave you. The same goddamn smile that had you feeling that you were on cloud nine, that made you shy and that same smile that made you feel special.

So he wasn’t doing it just for you?

You never thought you would ever be jealous over something this trivial. You didn’t even like him in that way and yet, you could almost feel the disappointment clutching at your heart almost a bit too tightly.

It then hit you that the only expression Jeonghan had given you so far was either his look of surprise or a smile, but nothing more than that. Whenever he was hanging out with the entire gang or even now when it was just Joshua, you and Seungkwan, he had been laughing and cracking lots of jokes. But when he was with you all alone, all he did was smile and give you compliments, as though the two of you had just met due to a blind date set up by your parents.

Did you make Jeonghan that uncomfortable? Was he too nice to say no to your idea back then?

But the Jeonghan you knew wasn’t a pushover, so he must have thought about it a bit before agreeing, right? You are just overthinking everything. You chided yourself.

Your further thoughts were all stopped when you noticed everyone at the table staring at you.

“Your order?” Miyeon asked, annoyance evident in her voice.

“Er, I would like to have your Special Strawberry Jam Sandwich. And another cup of coffee please.”

“Got it.” Then turning back towards Jeonghan, she said, “So that’s your order too? Not your regular?”

Jeonghan nodded as the word regular whirled in your brain. He visited this cafe often? Had he- had he lied to you then?

The rest of the meal passed by in a blur, with the three boys doing the most of the talking. You joined in once or twice but mostly stayed to yourself, contemplating hard on what to do next.

It wasn’t that you were crushing on Jeonghan and that was making you sad. It was more like you didn’t want him to feel extremely uncomfortable around you, seeing how he had clearly lied to you about the cafe and treated you just the way he treated any other person on the street.

Soon it was time to leave and the four of you walked out of the cafe. But before you could part ways with the boys, Jeonghan grabbed your arm and stopped you.

“I want to talk to you.” He said and you nodded, realising that it would be better if even you got all your questions cleared up. Through the corner of your eyes you saw Seungkwan take out his phone and hastily type down something, and felt your phone vibrate almost immediately after he hit the send button.

Taking out your phone you checked his message, feeling a smile tug at the corner of your lips.

[uriboo]: if yoon jeonghan tries anything funny, just send sos. no matter where i am, i’ll kick his ass using my special kick reserved for soonyoung only.

You gave him a thumbs up and waved him goodbye, watching Joshua and Seungkwan’s retreating figures disappear round the corner. It was almost evening by now and the sky had turned a light shade of orangish pink. You stared it for some time until you felt Jeonghan tug you once more.

“Come on. Let’s talk there.” He asked, pointing at one of the benches farther away from the walking path. “No one will hear us there.” You nodded and followed him, sitting down beside him. A few moments passed as the two of you just watched students walk by, neither of you taking the lead to start the conversation.

“Are you okay?” Jeonghan asked after some time, and you turned to look at him dryly.

“I’m…fine. Okay, I guess. Just a bit tired.”

“No…what’s wrong? Did someone say something? Did I hurt you?”

There he went again.

You turned to glare at him but the look of concern on his face was enough to stop you. He looked really worried for you, and even reached out to grab your hand and give it a squeeze. You gulped to stop the way your heart fluttered at his actions, reminding yourself of what you had to ask him.

“Why…why did you lie to me?” You asked, swallowing thickly once more so that you didn’t sound hurt. But your voice still sounded strangled, and if Jeonghan had noticed it, he didn’t show it.

“Are you talking about the cafe?” He asked gently, and you nodded slowly.

“When I said I would take you out to a new place and mentioned its name too, you didn’t tell me you already went there. The waitress mentioned that you were a regular there!” It almost sounded like you were whining by this point.

Jeonghan blinked at you once, twice and then burst out laughing. “Is that what is bothering you?”

Pulling your hand away from his, you swatted his arm lightly, feeling hurt at his reaction. “It’s not funny! I literally gushed to you about the strawberry sandwich, saying that if you tried it you would forget every other sandwich when you had probably tried it a million times before. Do you know how embarrassing it is? It's so embarrassing that I bragged about something you already knew, it makes me look like a show off.”

“Ah, but I had never actually tried the strawberry sandwich before.” He said, taking your hand in his again. “I really had never tried it before, which is why I didn’t say anything. Besides, you looked so cute when you were talking about the cafe and I really didn’t want you to stop.”

You froze a little, taken aback by his last statement. Quickly, you tried to change the subject, hoping he wouldn’t notice the sudden heat forming on your cheeks.

“I-I- Okay. I-I have a few more questions to ask, if you don’t mind. Or…you can go first about whatever you wanted to talk about.”

“Go ahead. I finished asking mine. I just wanted to know what’s wrong with you.”

“Oh.” So it was the typical Jeonghan-cares-for-you question. “Er, are you and the waitress close? Um, what’s her name? Miyeon?”

“Not that close.” He replied nonchalantly. “She had helped me with some physics homework once, that’s all. And oh, also because I visit the cafe regularly.”

“I think she likes you.”

“Yeah me too.” He smirked when you stared at him. “Jealous?”

“Jealous of whom? You?” You countered back, keeping your expression as neutral as you could. You weren’t, couldn’t be jealous and you weren’t going to show him that you were either. He laughed at your comeback and you felt yourself smile, feeling pleased that he had enjoyed your retort.

“Point. Miyeon is pretty. But just so you know, she had asked me today whether I could hang out with her sometime later.”

“When did this happen? What did you say?” Even though you knew Jeonghan probably said yes, you still wanted to hear the answer from him.

“I said you were my girlfriend, what else? It happened when you had gone to the bathroom and she got the bill to the table. She then even asked why were you sitting beside Seungkwan if you were my girlfriend.”

“And what did you guys say then?”

“Seungkwan said ‘bros before hoes’.”

You rolled your eyes, questioning yourself why you even thought your best friend might have given a smart answer. “Of course he did. Can I ask you one more question?”

“You are asking an awful lot of questions, aren’t you?” He smiled at you, his eyes glinting in a teasing manner.

“It’s the last one! Please, Hannie?”

It was the first time you were using the nickname and you could swear you saw him tense for a fraction of a second. Then it was gone as soon as it had come. Instead, he gave your hand a gentle squeeze, indicating you to go. You had almost forgotten that the two of you were still holding hands, and this squeeze seemed to suddenly liven the atmosphere around the two of you, as though reminding you of his presence.

“Do you…find it uncomfortable to be with me?”

His smile faltered, clearly caught off guard by your question.

“I mean, do I make you feel uncomfortable? Like…did you say yes to being my boyfriend just because you didn’t want to refuse me and make me feel bad or-”

“Why would I do that? Shit, do I act like that around you? You aren’t someone new Y/N. You have been my friend for quite some time. Why would I feel uncomfortable around you? And I didn’t say yes because I felt bad for you. We both needed escorts and that’s why I said yes.”

“Then why do you act so differently when you are around me?” You asked, releasing your hand from his grasp. “Like, like you always look like you are enjoying yourself when we are with our friends but whenever it's just the two of us, you act just so sweet and nice. That’s about it. Just- just sweet and nice. Like how you are to Miyeon.”

He didn’t say anything for a while, as though thinking before answering your question.

“It’s not that I don’t like you Y/N. And I definitely didn’t say yes because I thought you were pathetic or something. Really. It’s just that…I don’t know how this works either.”

“How does what work?” You asked, your voice much softer than you expected. Jeonghan leaned in to you a bit closer, and for the first time you saw him beyond the smiles and jokes he made. He looked tired, really tired as though this act was wearing him out too.

“I-I’m not sure what kind of boyfriend you want. I’m not sure whether I should treat you like a friend and crack jokes about the most useless thing or treat you like a princess like your boyfriend probably would. I don’t know how much to step out of the line of being friends. I don’t know what is the line that oversteps from fake boyfriend to real boyfriend. I…just don’t know what to do most of the time.”

This time, you took his hand in yours, giving them a gentle squeeze. He looked up at you and you smiled softly at him, trying to ease down all the pressure he had been feeling for the past few days.

You were such an idiot. How could you expect him to act normally when you had just dumped a huge burden over his shoulder?

“Jeonghan…it’s okay. You are doing great, you know that? And sometimes, when I look at you, I wish I could be more like you. You don’t need to treat me as your girlfriend, really. Like I said, I would never want to make you feel uncomfortable. Just treat me as a friend, okay? And if you ever want to stop, just tell me. I’ll always be there for you.”

He gulped and nodded slowly, not breaking eye contact even once. Your heart gave a painful squeeze when he still didn’t look away, all of a sudden feeling that your entire surrounding had melted away.

You could only feel his soft gaze on you, almost feeling raw and exposed and yet, even you couldn’t look away.

“I would never leave you.” Jeonghan whispered, almost mumbling as he finally tore away his gaze.

“Why? Is this arrangement proving to be useful to you too?” You joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah it did help me escape from Miyeon.”

“So I’m your scapegoat now?” You asked scandalously, letting go of your hands so that you could grab him by the shoulder and glare properly. He grinned at you, back to his playful nature. You felt your heart swell by the way he giggled, the infectious laughter causing you to smile too despite trying to sound mad at him.

“Hey, aren’t friends supposed to protect each other like that?”

“Not- not- I- okay whatever!”

“Er, do you see Seungkwan?” You asked Yeri, eyes scanning the crowd for your best friend. The loud noise from the booming speaker was making it almost impossible to hear your roommate, so you turned to her, only to find yourself standing alone in a crowd of drunk bodies. You groaned internally as Yeri was your designated driver today, and you prayed that wherever she went, she wouldn't end up drunk like she had last time.

Byun Baekhyun, a senior known for his loudness and great ambition to wreck chaos wherever he went had decided to throw a party for the first years as a celebration for completing the first term without losing their sanity (which was clearly a lie; you were close to losing your mind).

“How am I supposed to find anyone- Hey! Yuna!” Grabbing the hands of the said girl, you felt familiarity rush in when she turned to you and gave you a smile.

“Hey, Y/N. You look great. Dressed up for someone special?”

“As if. Have you seen Seungkwan anywhere? I just can’t find him.”

At this she snickered. “Seungkwan? Are you sure you are searching for him?”

You frowned at her. When she saw that you didn’t understand what she was indicating, she smiled at you and beckoned you to come closer. “Are you sure,” she whispered in your ear, the slight smell of alcohol wafting to your nose, “you aren’t looking for Jeonghan?”

You drew back from her sharply, all of a sudden feeling hot. How does she know? Does word travel that fast? Of course it does. When Yuna saw that you didn’t say anything, she let out a laugh and patted your shoulder before pointing at the corner.

Giving her a tight lipped smile, you followed the direction of her finger though you weren’t really sure whether she had pointed to Seungkwan or Jeonghan.

“Thank god!” You exhaled, when you saw Seungkwan and Chan sitting on a couch in the corner of the room, and you quickly slipped in between them.

“Thank God for what?” Seungkwan asked.

“Nothing. Yuna’s drunk. Where are the others?” You asked, taking a sip of the solo cup Seungkwan had just handed you. You found it odd that it was just Seungkwan, Chan and you here because usually your entire gang of friends used to stick together to have fun at parties.

“Ah, that.” Chan snickered. “Your boyfriend might or might not have caused a little bit of a problem.”

“What? What happened?” You asked, turning your head to look at Seungkwan and Chan alternatively. To say you weren’t concerned would be a lie. And it was definitely not because Jeonghan was your faux boyfriend.

“Er, so Jeonghan might or might not have got his toy sword and wooden hammer with him to the party-” Seungkwan began.

“He got what?”

“You know, his toy sword-”

“I knew about his toy sword but not his wooden hammer.”

“It's for self defence against bad guys at night, apparently.” Chan added, causing you to groan.

“What happened then?”

“I think someone made some comment about you and he decided as your boyfriend, mind you the entire college knows now, he had to defend your honour. He even gave the opponent his wooden hammer because he wasn’t armed.” Seungkwan finished, calmingly taking a sip of his drink like it was completely natural for Jeonghan to fight for your honour.

You looked at Chan incredulously and he too had the same expression. “He’s joking right?”

“Jeonghan was drunk. Like really, really drunk when it started.”

“How did he get this drunk so quickly?”

“Sweetheart, the party started an hour ago. Not everyone remembers their incomplete inorganic homework five minutes before leaving.” Seungkwan stated, causing you to glare at him.

“So where are the others?”

“Well, the challenge was made just before you came and Jeonghan went upstairs to ‘duel’. Seungcheol, Mingyu, Minghao and Seokmin followed him upstairs to stop him while the rest followed him to egg on him.”

Chan got up, followed by you and Seungkwan. “We were just waiting for you. I bet your lover boy is dying to see your face.”

“Shut up Chan.” Your face was practically burning by now. But this was what you had wanted, right? To make everyone think you both were a couple? “Please tell me we are going upstairs so that both of you can join the team that stops him and not eggs on him?”

Seungkwan gave you a dirty look. “How low do you think we are? Of course we are going to egg him on.”

“Fucking hate you all.”

Luckily, upstairs wasn’t that crowded but it still took the three of you some pushing around to reach the centre. The scene that met your eyes nearly turned you blood cold. The other guy, you recognised him as a senior from your major, had Jeonghan on his knees as he gripped his shirt collar. He was yelling profanities at Jeonghan, but he was too out to even listen to him. You saw that his lip had split open and his right eye looked bruised.

“Why aren't you stopping him?” You hissed to Seungcheol. You noticed that even though all your friends were there, none of them were cheering for the fight to continue. In fact, they all looked scared now

“We can’t. He’s a senior and he said- he said if we stop him then he’s going to hurt Jeonghan more!” Seungcheol himself looked terrified and you gritted your teeth angrily. It was true. If a senior ragged you, there was nothing you could do except accept your fate.

You heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh; loud, and both you and Seungcheol turned to see Jeonghan on the floor, the senior’s hand balled in a fist. At that moment, something snapped inside you and you found yourself walking towards him.

“Y/N, wait-” Seungkwan began worriedly but it was too late. Everything happened so fast but all you vaguely remembered was yanking the senior by hair and landing a slap on his cheeks. Since he was drunk that slap was enough to cause him to lose his balance, and you just shoved him into the ground.

Turning around, you picked up Jeonghan’s sword and hammer before turning to the groaning boy. Gently tugging one arm over your shoulder, you tried pulling him up. It was a bit hard, considering he was drunk and hurt and using you completely as support, but then his weight lightened on you and you turned to see Joshua slinging his other arm around his neck.

“Let me help you.” He muttered. The crowd parted away easily and before you knew it, the three of you were outside. It was a bit hard dragging Jeonghan all the way to the dorm and the only reason you managed to do it was because Joshua was bearing his maximum weight.

Finally, you reached their room and pulled Jeonghan onto his bed. The two of you sat down beside him, trying to catch your breaths. Glancing at Jeonghan’s resting figure, you felt your heart clench painfully.

Moonlight streamed into the room, lighting up his face in an almost angelic glow and yet the blows he had received were painfully visible.

“Thank you.” You heard Joshua mutter, and you looked up at him. He too was looking at Jeonghan sadly, as though he had been punched too. Then he looked at you and gave you a soft smile. “Thank you for stepping up.”

“It’s nothing.” You huffed. “I just did what I had to do for a friend. I’m not blaming you guys though!”

“Still. It was a really brave thing to do. But are you sure about that?”

“About what?”

Joshua leaned in until your faces were just a few inches apart. You tried backing away but the headboard hit you and you were left with no space to move. He smirked at you before speaking.

“Are you sure about Jeonghan being, you know, just a friend?”

You stared at him with your mouth slightly open, slowly thinking of what he had said.

Jeonghan was a friend, right? You had come in terms with him a few days ago and had convinced yourself that he was a friend. You would step into a fight for any of your friends, right?

A groan from beside you interrupted your thoughts and both of you turned to see Jeonghan staring at you with half opened eyes.

“Y/N.” He whispered your name with a small smile, wincing almost immediately when the cut on his lips stung. His eyes travelled along your body before it landed on Joshua. He frowned at the said man, as though trying to comprehend something.

“Joshua.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

He blinked several times before staring at something between the two of you. Then he tried getting up by propping up his elbows which gave away immediately, causing his head to land on your lap instead. You stiffened at the closeness but figured he was too drunk and hurt to even overthink this situation.

“Why are you two always so close? Everytime I’m gone, the two of you are almost always together.” He sounded almost hurt. You tried making sense of what he meant by that but Joshua just laughed.

Getting up, he said, “I’ll leave the two of you alone. If he tries something, call me. I’ll be in my bedroom. Oh also, try thinking about what I told you before.” Giving you a wink, he exited the room, closing the door behind him.

“What did he tell you?” Jeonghan asked, turning on your lap so that he was facing you now. His hair was sticking to his forehead due to the sweat, the jet black colour appearing almost dark blue under the moonlight. You hissed when you saw his wounds up close, gently brushing his hair away from his face.

He caught your wrist as his eyes fluttered open, staring at you before repeating his question. “What did Joshua tell?”

“Nothing, you idiot. Jeonghan, why the hell did you get into a fight? Do you know where you keep your medicines? I’ll get them-”

“No.” His grip on your hand tightened as he brought it over his chest, clasping it with his both hands now. “He made fun of you.”

Maybe it was the way he said it with so much hurt in his voice or maybe it was the way he looked like a prince underneath the moonlight, but you felt your breath catch your throat. Your heart gave a painful squeeze and then stuttered, as you watched his gentle features stare back at you softly.

It felt like time had stopped as you stared at Yoon Jeonghan lying on your lap, realising how beautiful he was. And no, it wasn’t like the other times you had realised it. This time, it felt painful, as though he had sucked out all your breath and had caused your heart to swell with this overwhelming emotion.

It made you feel good, and you felt yourself craving for that feeling more.

“That doesn’t mean you’ll get into a fight with everyone. Look how hurt you are, Hannie.” You whispered softly. To be honest you weren’t sure why you were whispering, but as you gently stroked his hair with your free hand, it felt right talking to him softly.

He let out a harsh breath as he slowly raised on hand towards your face, causing you to freeze. You felt his fingers ghost your lips, and you almost leaned in to feel his touch. You felt your stomach lurch when your eyes met his, that feeling in your heart growing stronger as he refused to touch you yet.

“Love it when you call me that.” His voice had dropped an octave, and you nearly let out a squeak at his sudden sultry voice. Finally, you felt his long slender fingers grasp at your chin and his thumb brushed against your lips, giving you the contact your body was almost burning for. Your eyes fluttered close as he gently ran his thumb over your lips. “Love it so much I would give up ‘most everything to get you to call me that.”

You are drunk. He’s even more drunk. What do you think you are doing?

Your eyes snapped open at that realisation and you jerked away from his touch, his hand just falling limply to his side.

“We are drunk, Han- Jeonghan. We shouldn’t- I shouldn’t be doing this to you.” You told him as softly as you could, gently sliding his head off your lap onto the pillow. He had fallen asleep and now the only sound in the room that could be heard was his breathing; and the abnormally loud hammering of your heart.

Slowly, you covered him with his blanket and kept his toy sword and hammer beside him before you snuck out of his room. Then closing the door behind you, you rested your back against it, taking a moment to catch your breath and calm down your racing heart.

If you weren’t sure about it before, you definitely were now. It was glaringly obvious to you, no matter how much you tried to push your feelings away.

You were in love with Yoon Jeonghan.

It’s fine. You thought to yourself. I just need to pretend I don’t have feelings for him until tomorrow. Once we go about our own ways, I can bawl my eyes out to Seungkwan.

“Miss?” The maid asked cautiously, and you looked at her annoyed, silently asking her to go on. “Your escort, Mr. Yoon, is here.”

Wordlessly you got up, glancing at the mirror one last time to check your gloves and hair. Annoyance creeped into your features when you realised it didn’t even matter actually. Then you walked out of your house, making sure you shut the door behind you with a bang.

Walking out into the garden of your parent’s manor, you saw Jeonghan waiting for you, leaning against the limousine. His face broke into a grin when he saw you approaching, but it faltered when he realised you weren’t exactly smiling back at him.

“Hey.” He said, as he opened the door for you to enter.

“Hi.” You said curtly, bunching up your gown in the most careless manner and getting in the car, shutting the door before he could. He wordlessly got in through the other side, indicating the chauffeur to start.

A few minutes of silence passed before he spoke.

“Is…something wrong?”

You turned to glare at him, expecting him to look annoyed at your annoying attitude. Or even confused. But instead, he looked concerned.

Immediately you felt bad at being angry at him for something he didn’t even do.

No. It wasn’t that you felt bad, it was more like his worried look had thrown you off your anger, feeling tears sting your eyes instead now.

“You can tell me about it. Or you don’t have to. But I’m all ears, anytime you need me.” Gently, he took your hands in his and gave it a squeeze, smiling at you softly.

“I- Just- You look good today.” You choked out, trying to change the subject without looking too pathetic in front of him. How down bad were you for him that one worried glance caused you to break the dam of emotion that had been building up since morning.

But it was true. He did look good. The suit made him look more ethereal, and it did nothing to stop your heart from accelerating at that speed.

His lips pulled into a smile, You noticed that his lips had almost healed, and the cut couldn’t really be seen unless you stared at it (which you definitely weren’t; because why would you stare at him?)

“What can I say? I’m so pretty that I look good at everything.”

“Or I have a great choice of clothing.”

Jeonghan laughed and counter argued, but you were too busy staring at the way he laughed to listen to his banter. The way he displayed his teeth every time he smiled and the way his eyes crinkled at the corner when he laughed seemed to be pulling at your heartstrings. And the fact that he was gently rubbing circles on your hand with his thumb, sending electricity through your arm.

“I could help lighten whatever’s causing a frown on that pretty face of yours.”

His flirty comment brought you back to the present, quickly turning your head away to stare at the buildings speeding past the two of you instead. You felt the bitterness come back but it was much less than before as Jeonghan had helped you feel much light hearted.

“You’ll see once you reach there.” You muttered, and through the corner of your eyes you saw Jeonghan nod. The car came to a halt in front of a mansion, indicating that you had arrived at your destination.

“Y/N this is your last chance.” Jeonghan said. You blinked at him in confusion. “This is your last chance to change your partner to Joshua.”

Suppressing the laughter threatening to escape from you, you pretended to think. “Well…so far it’s still a no. But if I see Shua looks more handsome than you…then well, I can’t guarantee you I’ll be sleeping with you tonight.”

There was a rule of elite parties that required couples to sleep in for the night, which was why you had wanted to choose a familiar face in the first place.

Jeonghan pouted at you and you laughed, but immediately caught yourself when you felt your heart flutter. You couldn’t let this feeling grow. The two of you were just actors in a play and actors could never fall in love with each other.

Two of you walked over to your assigned room and only then did you let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding. You had met just a few people on your way here and the two of you had responded to all of them with small smiles, and you were greatly aware of Jeonghan’s arm around your waist.

“What do you want to do now?” Jeonghan, already lying down on the double bed. You narrowed your eyes as he kicked off his shoes and wrapped the blanket around himself. “What?” He asked when he saw you. “I’m tired, okay? Just wake me up half an hour before the party starts so that I can look a bit more presentable.”

“Okay? I, uh, I’m just going to look around, okay?” Saying that, you switched off the light for him and slipped out, wondering where you should go next. You vaguely remembered a fountain in one of the gardens from the one time you had come here with your parents and decided to search for it.

It took you some time but eventually (after a lot of checking through balconies whether it was the correct side of the garden) you managed to find it. But as you reached there, you saw someone already seated on its edges. You couldn't make out who it was, so you decided to leave. You stopped on your tracks and took a step back, only to step on a twig.

The twig snapped with a loud thwack! which was heard loud and clear in the silent garden. The boy sitting turned to look at you, his expression changing from shock to happiness as he recognised you.

“Y/N.” Joshua greeted you, patting at the stone beside him. “Come and join me.”

Knowing you were trapped, you had no other option but to go and sit down beside him. Not that you didn’t like his companion but you really didn’t want to lash out your anger at another innocent soul.

“Hi.”

“You look pretty.” Joshua commented, to which you just smiled. The words that he had told you yesterday seemed to ring in your head now. Did he mean this? About your feelings towards Jeonghan?

“Joshua?” You asked, clearing your throat. “Yesterday…what did you mean by that?”

“It’s no fun if I tell you. Did you think about it?” The familiar mischievous glint was back in his eyes.

“I did…a little.”

“Then you know what I’m talking about-”

“I don’t like him.” You cut him off and then upon seeing his amused look, you added, “Not in that way. He’s just a friend who agreed to help me. I don’t have feelings for him at all.”

“Well…everyone can tell you both are perfect for each other. No one even doubts for a second that the two of you aren’t.”

You just sighed, fluttering your eyes close as you let the night breeze calm you down a little. It’s okay. You thought to yourself. Everything will be okay once he isn’t pretending to be your boyfriend anymore. Once he is gone, these feelings would go too.

Yes. That was it. Maybe you were too immersed in your role of pretending and had let your emotions take control of you. Maybe you had thought that pretending to have feelings for him would make this much easier on both of you.

A small part of you kept screaming that lying to yourself won’t change this situation, but that didn’t stop you from saying your next line as you opened your eyes to look at the man sitting next to you with a smile.

“There’s nothing between the two of us. We are just…tryna do what lovers do.”

You remembered how Jeonghan had used you as a scapegoat to turn down Miyeon. Yes, that was the main purpose, wasn’t it? This whole relationship was built on a lie, just meant to be used and thrown for such situations.

“Joshua? Y/N?”

You froze at the familiar voice and judging from Joshua's expression, even he wasn’t expecting it. You turned back to see Jeonghan looking at the two of you. He was smiling but there was something off about it.

Joshua got up and walked up to him, before leaning in to whisper something in Jeonghan’s ear. Then waving you a goodbye, he walked off, leaving you and Jeonghan all alone. Jeonghan came and sat down beside you, though he maintained a little distance.

“Did you- did you overhear our conversation?” You asked, confused at this sudden change in behaviour.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “What’s there to overhear? I already know that. I already know that we are doing this for show.” He spoke curtly and you frowned.

Did you hurt him by any chance? But what you said was the truth, right?

“Are you okay? Did I say something?”

He let out a hollow laugh, before forcing a smile at you. “No, it’s not you. It’s all my fault really. It’s all my fault that this is happening and I’m sorry about it.”

“Jeonghan, you are acting weird.”

“Says the one who wouldn’t explain why she’s been mad the entire evening.”

“It’s my parents, okay?” You snapped, getting up and standing in front of him. He seemed taken aback by this sudden outburst but at this point, you really didn’t care. “They aren’t even coming today! All this drama I went through, all this stupid worry I had in my head at the end of the day meant nothing! I only agreed to come to this party because my parents would have been there but of course they decided to go to Switzerland today itself without telling me!

I wouldn’t have even bothered asking you to be my escort if it weren’t for them. We would have been leading our own lives quietly but now I'm in this mess with you because of this stupid party! It’s so hard to play pretend that sometimes I just wish you would disappear!”

The last line slipped out of your mouth before you had even realised and you only stopped yourself when you saw Jeonghan’s expression.

You had stepped out of the line.

“I- I- Okay, I didn’t mean you to disappear! I mean, not because of that.”

Jeonghan wordlessly got up, his face all of a sudden so cold that you almost could hear your heart break. How could you do this? How could you do this to him? His eyes which usually used to hold a million emotions that you would associate with happiness were now empty as they stared back at you with contempt.

He opened his mouth to speak but closed it almost immediately, as though figuring out it was better to keep quiet than argue with you.

“I see. Well, I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable Y/N. I’ll leave for now but don’t worry, I’ll still pretend to be your escort for today. And then you don’t need to hang out with me that much in college. A week later, or wherever you feel like you don’t need me at all, we’ll just break up. Okay? I’m sorry for everything. Like I said, it’s all my fault.”

With that he walked away from you, your attempt to grab his sleeves fruitless.

“Jeonghan, wait! I didn’t mean it like that!” You yelled after him, but he didn’t look back at you even once. “I’m sorry, Jeonghan! I really am!”

You felt tears sliding down your cheeks as the frustration that had been building up finally broke through you.

“Yoon Jeonghan! Do you even remember what happened yesterday?”

At this he stopped and turned back to you. His mouth fell open at your teary face but he didn’t take a single step to approach you.

“I’m asking you! Do you even remember what happened yesterday?”

He looked unsure how to answer that. After a while, he took a gulp and replied a soft ‘no’.

You closed your eyes, feeling the tears continue to flow.

It hurt. It hurt so much that you wished your heart would stop beating. Maybe then, you would stop loving Jeonghan. Maybe then you would be able to move on from this relationship easily.

“What happened? Did I do-”

“Just leave, Hannie. Just leave.”

You saw him wince when you called him that but by now you were too tired to care, opting to sink onto the ground instead of dealing with what was in front of you.

It had been a week. Exactly a week without texts, a week without meeting up with Jeonghan unless it was your entire friend group, a week without holding hands and a week until you finally called him.

You had thought that maybe doing all of this would completely remove him from your head, that it would be much easier to move on by pretending that your feelings were because of being so close to him.

But if anything, your love for Yoon Jeonghan had seemed to grow. He was the only thing in your mind constantly as you thought about his antics and jokes. You missed his smile and the way he would hold your hands gently. You missed everything about Jeonghan but there was nothing you could do about it, especially not after how the two of you had very obviously fucked up your friendship (neither of you had even attended the party after that; the two of you just claimed that you were tired and left).

Not that anyone even noticed. Everyone still thought you two were a couple, and it took all of your willpower not to burst into tears whenever someone mentioned Jeonghan in front of you. Of course, Seungkwan knew. And you were sure Joshua knew too. But apart from that, no one had even questioned why the air seemed so stale whenever the two of you were together.

Which brought you to your present call.

“Hello?” A groggy voice on the other side of the line had you nearly jumping off your bed, as you grabbed the phone delicately near your ear, as though you might have been hearing things.

“Uh, hi. It’s me, Y/N.” Your heart still raced at the sound of his voice and you hoped you didn’t sound as squeaky as a twelve year old talking to their crush for the first time.

A pause.

Then he chuckled. “I know, I can see your caller ID.”

Jeonghan had acted nonchalantly with you in front of everyone, like you hadn't just hurt his feelings by asking him to disappear. But you had thought that maybe he would be different when the two of you were alone, cold and distant since you had practically thrown his kindness onto his face.

“Hahah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I forgot.” You muttered, embarrassed at the way you were acting. Your cheeks were feeling hot and you were glad that he couldn’t see you know.

“So what do you want?”

The words were like a slap to you, but you knew very well that you deserved that. That’s what your relationship had boiled down to. Just to fulfil each other’s needs.

“Um, my parents know about us.” You muttered.

“What?” He asked, as though he hadn’t heard you clearly the first time. You could hear the slight rise in his voice.

“My parents…they know about us and…you know how dating is in our world. They think I’m seeing you as a potential life partner for later on.”

“Do you want me to come over?” He asked softly, and something inside you broke.

“I- I- don't know what to do Hannie.” you felt tears stream down your cheeks. “I don't want you to think that I’m using you, not after what I told you. I shouldn’t even be asking you to cover for me anymore. I hate myself for that so much. But I really don’t know what to tell my parents-”

“Hey.” He hushed you. “I’ll be there, okay? When do you want me to come over?”

“Can you- can you come over for lunch?”

“I’ll be there for sometime before lunch then. Just wait a little, okay?”

True to his word, Jeonghan showed up to your house half an hour before lunch time. The minute your maids had informed you that he was here, you had rushed downstairs to pull him into your bedroom without your parents noticing.

Locking the door behind you, you leaned your back against it to catch your breath. Your eyes flicked up to meet his worried ones, and you felt the familiar warmth rush back to your chest.

“Jeonghan I-” You began but stopped when he held your hand that was clutching his sleeves. You thought he was trying to remove it but instead clasped it in his both hands. The huge apology that you had prepared in your head vanished, and all you could was stare at him with tears pricking your eyes once more.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” You whispered, your voice almost broken. Finding yourself alone with him for the first time after the incident seemed to have done something to you. All you could think of was getting him back. “I’m so sorry for all the things I told you.”

He stared at you for a few seconds, before dropping his eyes to your entwined hands. “It’s fine. It’s my fault you felt like that-”

“I wanted you to disappear because everytime I’m with you, I feel like I’m failing to just pretend you are my boyfriend.” You cut him off, taking a step closer to him. Your toes were now brushing each other’s and he looked up at you confused, as though he could not believe what he had just heard.

Taking a deep breath, you continued. “I know- I know that you might hate me after this because I’m- because I’m just misusing your goodness. But I’m in love with you Hannie. I like you so much that it drove me crazy trying to keep things the way it was between us. I had hoped maybe that after our fight I would forget you but instead I kept wanting you more. And I hated the fact that I hurt you. I hated-”

“Shh.” He whispered, taking both of your hands in his. He jerked you closer to him, until your noses were just a few inches apart. You were so close to him that you could smell the cologne lingering on him and see the black flecks in his soft brown eyes. His warm gaze was turning your knees to putty and you grasped his hand more tightly to steady yourself. “Don’t- Don’t ever say that, okay? Because I love you so much I can’t bear to see you crumbling like this, hating yourself for something that wasn’t even your fault. I love you so much that it’s okay if you don’t want me if I’m hurting you or making you uncomfortable.”

Taking a deep breath in harshly, you blinked at him as you tried to clear your brain.

Jeonghan…loved you too. He loved you.

When you didn’t say anything, Jeonghan covered the little distance between the two of you by pressing his lips against yours. You felt yourself melt into his touch, hands now clutching his biceps to steady yourself.

He pushed you against the door to press against your body better, his hands squeezing your hips gently. Jeonghan’s lips were soft against yours, kissing you feverishly as though you might disappear if he stopped to even catch his breath.

You felt all rational thoughts leave your body when your teeth accidentally grazed against his lower lip, causing him to groan in your mouth. One hand cupped your cheek, tilting your face to get better access to your lips.

His frantic kisses moved towards your ears, starting from the corner of your lip, to your cheek and finally to the soft skin right below your ear.

“Hannie.” You whispered softly, gripping his hair tightly as he sucked on the soft skin, kissing, biting and licking the same spot. You realised that the only thing supporting your jelly legs was the door and his grip on your waist, but you couldn’t even tell him to stop because of the euphoric feeling in your heart.

God, you loved him so, so much.

You tugged at his hair gently, causing him to stop doing what he was doing to look at you, and you threw your arms around his neck to pull him into a hug. He didn’t even falter for a second and immediately wrapped his arm around you, engulfing you in his warmth.

“I love it when you call me Hannie.” He whispered, kissing your ear softly. You felt yourself smile, giving him a squeeze as you felt your heart might explode out of happiness.

“And I love you.”

Pulling away from him, you mirrored his smile, his soft gaze making you feel giddy like always. “But Hannie..” You began, and he cut you off with a quick kiss on your lips.

“Hmmm?”

“I had really wanted to dance with you that day.”

“Is that so?” He hummed, his eyes shining with the familiar devilish glint. “Then should we dance after I tell your parents you are officially my girlfriend?”

A/N: Please do tell me what you think about this story!! I worked really hard on it and I would love to know everyone’s thoughts on it~ Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

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bliss-in-the-void · 8 months

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Satoru’s unhealthy coping mechanism after the Toji Attack of 2006™️ is actually really relatable and can apply to real world situations if you think about it.

He’s obsessed with preserving youth because his was taken from him as a teenager. Before Toji, before the Star Plasma Vessel, he went through life believing he and Suguru were the strongest, and that things would always remain that way.

I don’t know about you, but when I was young like this, I felt the same way. The friends I had, the person I was dating, I imagined we’d all stay friends forever. We’d be there for important birthdays, for graduations, for weddings, for when we all started having kids.

But life happens. People leave and grow apart. Innocence is lost and you’re forced to grow up.

Satoru was attacked by Toji and died. And while he didn’t stay dead, his innocence did. The naive Satoru no longer existed.

And how did he choose to deal with the fall out? With the aftermath? By deciding to become something not completely human. By forcing barriers around himself to be untouchable so it didn’t happen again.

And isn’t that just like real life? Now it’s harder to make friends, because the ones who aren’t there anymore left scars and you can’t get close to anyone like you used to. In order to deal with how bad the world really is, you have to become inhuman. To shut off all the noise and go through life stepping over heaping piles of shit. Smiling through it, pretending to be okay. Some days it feels like you have to summon inhuman amounts of strength to get through the day.

What’s really the kicker is that this is addressed in JJK when Satoru asks Kento how things were being a salaryman instead of a sorcerer. Kento said it’s not much different. Then, Satoru says, effectively, we really are doomed.

Because as long as non-sorcerers live in their society which is just as shitty as the Jujutsu society, there will be more curses. And their jobs will never be done.

Nanami tried to get away from it and he still couldn’t. He just wanted to be stress free and even a normal life is awful.

And it’s like. Cherish youth. My god. I haven’t truly been young since I was eleven, I just grew up and became too aware too fast. I miss naivety.

I fucking understand Satoru.

#like looking at kids be kids and saying one day they’ll be aware #the inevitability is sad #this is so depressing im so sorry #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen meta #nanami kento #satoru gojo

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macdenlover · 10 months

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My fucking god. There is so much to take apart.

This episode gave us a peak into Dennis’s mind and it’s the closest thing we’re gonna get to putting him under a microscope like a little bug and studying him in a lab. It isn’t what I expected from this episode but man oh man am i glad to have it. There’s a few things we need to establish first that’s gonna be the basis of my analysis. Dennis is angry, but he ultimately uses that anger to mask fear, pain, and every other emotion that he doesn’t allow himself to feel. Also, the entirety of the episode— every little detail was intentionally conjured by Dennis’s mind either consciously or subconsciously so none of it is off the table to dig into.

There’s two big things at play here— one, his desperate need for control; and two, his instinct to self sabotage. This episode did one hell of a job at showing how woven together the two are.

The essence of Dennis’s character is this impenetrable shell he’s built to protect the vulnerable part that sits at his core, and we finally got to see HOW he builds that shell piece by piece. This is the pressure-cooking of the diamond— if you apply enough pressure it’ll harden the shell.

Everything is thrown out of balance when Dennis learns about his high blood pressure, but what really bothers him about that is the inevitability of aging— something we’ve seen him be insecure about for many seasons. But what’s different about this episode is that while his usual fear of aging comes from vanity, this time it’s combined with Dennis being so afraid of the world around him changing and leaving him behind. This follows the thematic trajectory of this season— all the characters struggling to cope with inevitable change.

A stress-free day at the beach is a pipe dream. Happiness is something so hopelessly distant from him that he builds a fantasy about chasing it while never getting there— sabotaging the plan because he either thinks it’s too impossible, something he doesn’t deserve, or both. This is not the first time we’ve seen this from him. In The Gang Saves The Day, the rest of the gang’s fantasies revolve around them finally getting their dream ending, while Dennis’s stuck out from the others as a barely comprehendible mess of his own misery. (I’m gonna rewatch this episode soon and give you a full breakdown of my thoughts). Dennis self sabotages in his own fantasies because he can’t imagine a reality where he is capable of getting what he wants. Dissatisfaction is something so permanent to him, and Dennis Takes a Mental health day is all about him trying to cling to things that are permanent to regain his sense of control. He is creating uncertainty in his own fantasy so that he can be certain about it. He is such a broken man and it is such a fucked up cycle— one thing continues feeding into the other. “The pin’s the key to the phone, the phone’s the key to the car.”

The primary source of his frustration in this episode was the automated systems, which I think holds place to represent more than one thing. It’s a symbol of the changing world that he can’t control or escape from, but it also represents the parts of himself he’s fighting against. He forms systems in his life that are so methodical and complicated that it gets in the way of his ability to have real human connections. They went right on the nose with it in this ep by having him spelling out his own name as an acronym in a fit of rage. Subconscious Dennis’s d.e.n.n.i.s. system is fucking crazy.

D- “Deliver me from this”

E - “Engage with human”

N - “Nightmare”

N - “NIGHTMARE”

I - “Is this real?”

S - “Somebody help me”

If you interpret this as his frustration with not only the state of the world but himself and his perpetual loneliness it gets incredibly heartbreaking. Guys I’m really tearing up here.

His interactions with others in this episode also say so much about him and the inner conflicts he’s experiencing. He knows he establishes control by taking his frustration out on other people, but he simultaneously struggles with that making him a bad person. He yells at the customer service workers and then APOLOGIZES and reassures them that it’s not them who he’s really mad at. He doesn’t mean to take it out on them. (Potentially wild implications for Dennis woobifiers here.) He wants to take his frustration out on people who he believes deserve it, like the CEO. He gets to see himself as a hero in this story even if he’s miserable. If happiness is a pipe dream, he can settle for second best which is the rush he gets from taking his pain out on the guy who fucked him over. But he is simultaneously the person he spent his entire fantasy craving a real human connection with. He doesn’t know how to do that. It got weird and a little sexual (he definitely wanted to fuck that guy till the room stank). he is vindicated with violence at the end, which is ultimately what he will always resort to because it gives him the sense of power that desperately needs to make the frustration, vulnerability, and weakness go away (mentally AND physically). This is his cycle.

I’m not sure Dennis could have an episode where he breaks down and cries and has a huge cathartic moment and then goes back to his regular self the next episode the way Mac and Charlie have. Dennis is a whole other can of worms. RCG are comfortable with exploring different sides to these characters as long as they are kept in a state of limbo for the length of the show, but letting Dennis openly express his feelings (even to himself) might make it impossible to come back from because this is literally the entire crux of his character. The last time he opened up emotionally he fled to another state only come back a year later more hostile and emotionally distant than ever. They had to put a hard reset on him after season 12 because they knew that version of him didn’t have longevity in the show. I WISH so fucking bad that they would explore the vulnerable parts of him more explicitly on the show but for now I will settle for being a little vulture and picking it out of the carcass of this season.

#iasip #i had a lot of thoughts about this ep #this is just my raw opinions #i call this my 2:00 am autism + adhd combo move #would you believe it if i said i had more that i cut out 😭#tell me ur thoughts pleaseee

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masked-watcher · 6 months

Text

More Than That

Words: 4.5k

Pairing: Soap x Ghost

Warnings: None apply

Tags: Fluff, confessions, awkward men trying to talk to each other

Artist: aiden.lydia on Instagram

Soap and Ghost were in a bar, a little tired after a long day. Sitting by themselves, not talking to anyone in particular- just drinking. Without realizing, Johnny catches himself staring at him. Ghost looks over, meeting his eyes and cocking his head to the side a bit.

“You’ve been staring MacTavish.”

Soap freezes a little, not aware he's been so obvious. Then giving him a lopsided smirk. "Sorry L.T... Just been a while since we did something outside of a mission."

The older man chuckles. “I feel ya. Sometimes the stress of doing your damn job needs a good release. Speaking of… What’s that you got?” He points at his drink. The scotsman laughs, taking a sip.

"Whiskey, feels at least a little like home." The younger one smirks and nods to the others glass. "Next one's on me."

“Sure, I’ll take you up on that. I’ll have the same.”

He signals to the bartender, who pours Ghost a glass of golden, honey like liquid, which he accepts with a slight nod.

" 's pretty nice to hang around with ya Ghost. Missed that. Missed my buddy." Soap grins before taking another swig. The banter between them, especially over comms, has gotten more intense lately. Their last mission just a few days ago was... something. They made it out alive, obviously. But for a while things started to look grim. At least they had each other to listen to.

Soap catches himself staring again before looking away. Letting his gaze drift over the other people in the bar.

“I’ll drink to that. I missed it too, Soap.” He pauses, and finishes his beer in a matter of seconds before shifting his attention to the newly acquired drink. “The last mission was… A real clusterfuck. Bloody hells, I thought we were done for, for a minute there.”

"Was worried for a second but-" The scotsman looks down at his glass, smiling softly. "I knew I'd be safe with you looking out for me." With that, his eyes find their way to Ghost's. Blue meeting brown. And they stay like that for a moment. Just for a heartbeat. Until the masked man gives a little grunt of confirmation, taking the small glass of whiskey, slowly nursing it down. He relaxes a little as the drink settles in.

“Not like I wouldn’t be worried about your ass too. You may be a hell of a soldier…” He grins under his mask, the only thing visible being the crinkle of his eyes. “But you’re dumb as a sack of bricks outside a firefight.”

"Oi!" Soap protests and jokingly punches him on the shoulder. "I got dem street smarts aye? You'd be done for if I didn't contribute my quick thinkin' and I ain't not scared of a little... boom." He underlined the last part with a wiggle of his brows. The older one gives a short bark of laughter, almost choking on his drink for a moment.

“I always know you’ve got my back, Johnny.” He pauses, taking in the atmosphere for a moment. “It’s good to have a few minutes to relax. And not have to worry about getting shot at.” He glances at his sergeant for a moment, but doesn’t pursue that thought further before taking a generous swig of his booze. His throat slightly burns.

Soap flashes him a toothy grin before nipping at his own, almost empty glass. Leaning a little forward on the bar stool, supporting his head on his hand, propped up on the countertop. "Yea... These moments are rare. So I really wanna enjoy them to the fullest while they last."

“I hear that.” The Lieutenant pauses, taking in the sounds and smells of the bar. He glances at his company again for a moment, before turning back and staring at his whiskey. “You know, you’re different without the gear on, Soap.” He says it in a matter of fact way. Not necessarily a diss, but the truth. “You’re almost… Normal.”

Another grin spreads on the scots lips as he looks down once more. Voice soft and almost murmuring. "Kinda sounds like a bad thing when you say it..." He wasn't completely serious. But it got him thinking.

“Not at all, Johnny.” Ghost shifts his position slightly, and looks at him again. "What I meant was… Outside of a mission or the field, you relax… you have a softer side. You’re not a robot." Not like me. But he keeps that thought to himself, leaning back against his bar stool. "And... You still get a little nervous talking to females." A slight eyebrow raise from Soap. "In all fairness, so do I."

Soap snorts, shaking his head. "Dunnae wat ya mean. I got the rizz baby. Could snatch me any woman I want from here." Of course he is confident. And as he emptied his golden liquor, maybe also a slight bit tipsy. Just adding to his boldness. Ghost watches him, raising a brow as he boasts about his "rizz".

“I saw you try and flirt with that waitress, Soap. I saw the way she shot you down.” He tries not to snicker, but it’s a lost cause. “You’re gonna need a lot more work with the ‘rizz’ before you ‘snatch’ any woman from here.”

"Pff, that was nothin'. She shot me down cause she was into women herself. Here, watch this." Soap cracks his knuckles and hops from the stool. Making his way towards a woman leaning against a wall, drinking. He proceeds to talk to her, trying to impress her with his military position and attempting to buy her a drink. But she turns him down; very quickly.

With a little pout he returns back to Ghost, slumping onto the stool once more and immediately ordering a new drink for himself. Ghost watched his fruitless efforts to flirt, not even bothering to hide his amusement. “Damn, soldier… You’re worse than I thought.” He takes a last sip of his drink. “I mean… Did you really think that girl was going to be head-over-heels for a soldier?” He chuckles. It is low and vibrating. Rumbling in his chest. A rare sound but even more treasured that way whenever Soap got to hear it. “You may be a hell of a soldier, Soap, but your ‘rizz’ could use some work… Or maybe some new lines. And new moves.”

Now the younger one takes a sip and looks at him, raising his slitted eyebrow. "Oh yea? As if you know anything about flirting. But now I'm curious. Lemme hear your best line or move. Come on." He again wiggles his brows and grins at him.

His lieutenant looks him over for a moment. “The trick… Is confidence.” He shrugs, as if that should be obvious. “If you’re gonna hit on a girl…” He pauses and smirks. “Be straight up. Honest. Don’t try and charm her or hit her with some cheesy ass ‘slick’ line.” He rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “Just be you, Soap.”

"Just be me? Hasn't worked recently to be honest. I'm not all that great." He chuckles, a little self deprecating perhaps. He slowly starts to feel the alcohol. Averting his gaze.

The older man watches him and frowns slightly, setting his drink down. He shifts his position a little bit, leaning on the counter, as if trying to get a little closer to him. “Johnny, don’t doubt yourself. You’re a good man. And any girl out there would be lucky to be with you.” He pauses and sets his elbow down on the counter, resting his head on his hand. “What’s your problem with the ladies anyway? You are never like this when we are in the field.” Maybe the intentions of this question are a little selfish. What answer exactly did Ghost hope for?

Soap chuckles before he looks up at him. Smirking. "Yea well, on the field it's you and me. The banter is easy with you. Just comes natural, ya know?" Ghost looks at him for a moment, trying to gauge how much the alcohol has affected him. “Yeah… I get that. But even off the field. You were always so… Charismatic. Flirtatious, to some extent too. Remember the time when we were stationed in Eastern Europe?" He pauses, his eyes drifting slightly, as if in thought. He glances at him again, meeting his eyes. “The way you were with those locals… You practically flirted with every woman we met.”

Johnny still had that smirk on his lips, nodding as he remembers that time. He did manage to score, spending some nights off base. He mumbles into his drink as he takes another swig. "Maybe my priorities have changed over time..."

“...Maybe.” Ghost wasn't sure what kind of answer that was, still looking at him thoughtfully. “What happened? You used to be like Casanova. Hell, you probably had half of the town wrapped around your finger.” He pauses, then sighs as if something has just occurred to him. “Come to think of it… You never do talk about women much anymore, do you?”

"Ah, s'pose I haven't. Didn't even notice, haha." The scotsman empties the glass, not immediately ordering a replacement. After all, he didn't want to get wasted so it was time for a short break. He fully turned to look at his lieutenant. "You never really do either. I don't think I ever really heard you talk about any relationship. Not interested right now L.T.?"

Ghost looks slightly surprised when he brings that up but quickly recovers. He shrugs, trying to play it cool- trying to appear nonchalant. “I mean… The work we do… We’re not exactly the ideal men to settle down with, now are we?” He pauses. “So nah, I haven’t really thought about it. Besides, I’m always moving around anyway.” He then smirks, looking at Soap. “What about you? Still no one back home waiting for you?”

"Guess you're right 'bout that..." He sighs, a little lost in thought. Circling his finger around the rim of his empty glass. "Kinda miss someone by my side tho... It does get lonely sometimes. With just your mind keeping you company at night. Not the best type either."

The masked man watches him quietly as he contemplates. It was different to see him in a situation not completely under control. Not exactly a bad thing, seeing him vulnerable like this. It’s humanizing. “Missin' someone after all?" He shifts on his stool again, his voice quieter; it was as if it took effort for him to ask that. He waits for the answer, eyes on Soap the whole time. Who shakes his head, smiling softly.

"Ah, no. No one in particular." Finally he lifts his head to lock eyes with him. Looking at his gaze through his mask. Holding it maybe a bit too long. But the older one stares back just as intense. Perhaps too intense. He doesn’t even flinch, but there was a slight edge to the way the air felt between them both. Neither of them were breaking eye contact, almost as though they were challenging each other. When he finally spoke up, Ghost's voice was softer than usual; a lot of the usual banter and sarcasm gone.

“That’s nice to hear. Maybe we’re not so different after all.”

Johnny's eyes flicker but he quickly recovers. Slowly and surely, a light blush began to spread across his cheeks. "Maybe not..." Okay to hell with it. He signaled the bartender he needed a beer. He couldn't do that whole feelings talk so effortlessly. Ghost watches him and doesn't say anything. He looks back down at his own drink, nursing it slowly now. An odd, tense silence settling between the two of them. He takes in Soap's features for a moment, out of the corner of his eye; the way his mohawk curls around the back of his neck when it got too long, his piercing blue eyes rivaling the clear summer sky, strong facial structure adorned by a slight beard. His eyes flicker to his lips for a moment, before he shakes his head quickly and looks back down at his drink. He takes in another sip, his blush only worsening.

"Hey L.T. Wanna bail after this?" Soap's lips curve into a soft smile. Ghost glances back at him, almost surprised he asks. But he slowly nods and the younger one finishes his pint with a few big gulps. “Hell… Yeah, you read my mind. I was about to ask the same.” He rises to his feet, offering him a slight grin that is only noticeable through the movement of his eyes. “Let’s get out of here, Soap.”

The cold night air immediately hits them. It is refreshing, waking them up again slightly. Soap takes a short moment to close his eyes and inhales. Then looking up at his company besides him. "Alright, let's head back to base." The taller man stares out at the night, taking in the view before nodding. There’s a slight hint of relief on his face as he suggests heading back to the base. “I could use some rest anyway. It’s been a long day.”

Ghost starts to walk, heading to the alleyway back towards the base. His steps are steady and deliberate, almost robotic. As if his mind is completely absent from the present; his thoughts somewhere else. He gestures at his sergeant to come along, not slowing his pace, who quickly scrambles after him until they are walking side by side. It would take them a bit until they arrive. But that was fine, he didn't mind.

"...I had fun today. Thanks, Simon." He quietly spoke into the night, looking straight ahead. His hands in his pockets. He could see his breath forming in little clouds.

Simon stares ahead, eyes seemingly unfocused despite his words. His face remains unreadable, but his body language eases subtly; the tension dissipating as he continues walking beside him. He likes it when Soap uses his name. Likes that he was the only one daring to do so. The only one Ghost allows to. “Me too, Johnny.” His voice is soft, almost too quiet to be heard. His eyes flicker towards him for a moment, then they quickly return to staring ahead, as if he hadn’t heard his reply. Johnny notices the way Ghost's eyes scan his surroundings constantly, the way his footsteps never falter or stumble. Despite everything else, Ghost was a soldier above all.

They continue to walk in silence for a while. But the little chatterbox just couldn't shut his mouth. The alcohol loosening his tongue further. He smiled faintly. "Shame there's this unspoken rule in the force..."

That brought attention to his lieutenant. “Which is?” He speaks without looking at him, but he sounds intrigued. The conversation has broken him out of his reverie of quiet thought earlier and he’s not trying to hide it. His gaze turns to Soap, his eyes seemingly a bit sharper than usual as he stares at him intently. His footsteps haven’t slowed whatsoever in the time it took for him to say that. It’s almost as if his body is on autopilot; every motion as smooth and precise as his stride.

"No dating within the squad." He tries to match his pace. Looking up at the same moment his eyes fall on him. Another lopsided grin of Soap before he averted his gaze back to the front. There's not much more he had to say right now. One could practically hear Simon blink at those words. His expression softens when he looks at him again, as if he’s still reeling from what he just said. After a moment, he smirks and shrugs.

“It’s an unspoken rule, sure. But…” He pauses, looks at Johnny again. His expression is still relaxed but there’s more to it than before. A certain intensity, almost. “…I’d break it."

"Would you now?" The scotsman snickers and raises an eyebrow at him. Not sure if he was all that serious. Would he just break it in general or did he actually play with that thought right now? His eyes dart between his, trying to figure out what exactly he meant.

Ghost stares back at him. Letting the question hang in the air. His gaze holds Soap's for a bit longer before he takes in a deep breath; fogging up a bit as he breathes into the cold night air. “I know the rule exists for a reason… Can’t have soldiers be distracted by ‘love’ in the middle of an operation. No tension or drama on base, between mates. No clouding of decision making.” His voice was quieter than usual. “But… We’re not on any major mission anymore.”

He looks ahead again. “There’s nothing stopping us.”

Soap's eyes still linger on his mask. Did he hear that right? Nothing stopping them? After a few beats of silence, his head turns as well. Eyes staring straight forward. Voice equally quiet and tender. "Mhm, I suppose not..." His hand closest to the tall man slides out of his jacket pocket. Just hanging by his side, trembling slightly. Is he really all that nervous right now? One can almost hear his breath catch in his throat. There’s so much tension in the air, as if every minor movement, every word is a potential match to ignite the spark of something more. He’s waiting, searching for a sign.

His footsteps slow to a stop and for a while, it’s just the sound of them both breathing.

“…”

His voice is a whisper now, as if he’s worried someone will hear him. “Soap… Can I ask you something?”

He notices his pace slowing, coming to a halt just slightly ahead of him. Turning to face him and looking up at his mask. His brows furrow at his question. He seemed so serious, yet... uncertain. "Anything L.T. What is it?" While speaking he took a step closer to him.

“I…“ Simon stops himself. As if reconsidering whether to ask what’s on his mind. He sighs slightly, his gaze on him, voice so soft even the gentle sounds of the city and environment around them seems to be muted somehow. “Nevermind. Forget it.”

A second passes by… And then he speaks again.

”No, wait…”

He shakes his head, as if trying to clear his mind. It’s like watching a person in the middle of an internal struggle.

"Simon..." Soap sees the struggle in his eyes. His hand lands on his friends upper arm in a reassuring gesture. Lightly squeezing it. "It's okay... No pressure, relax..."

Ghost glances down at the hand on his arm, staring at it for a moment. As if the slightest bit of human contact can cause him to become overwhelmed with emotion. His other hand reaches out, placing it on top of Johnny's. And then… he’s pulling himself into you. Soap knows from experience how careful and meticulous this man usually is with everything he does. Yet, right now, as he leans into him… He seems almost vulnerable. An awkward moment of silence stretches between both. Simon's gaze meets his again, his eyes searching for something. Soap wraps his arms around him. Embracing him in a hug. It was rare he accepted such close contact. Let alone initiate it. For a long while he actually was the only one allowed to physically touch him. With time he opened up to Price as well, who mostly gave out pats on the back. And Gaz with his fist bumps and side hugs.

Soap leans into him. His arms barely able to completely fit around him. He closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth as he didn't notice before how cold it actually has gotten. Ghost's arms come around him as well, his embrace firm and secure. Their bodies molding against each other. Ghost takes in a deep breath and the other can feel his chest rise and fall ever so slightly against him. His expression is a mess of emotions.

The tall man remains silent, content to just hold Soap in his arms for a while. A soft sigh escaping his lips.

“Johnny…”

That’s all he says, and there’s a lot implied in that one word.

"Simon..."

His name comes out as a whisper. Not wanting to break much of the silence. The world around them seems to freeze as snow slowly begins to fall and settle on the ground, trees, park benches. Being illuminated by the street lamp they stood under and pale moonlight peeking through the clouds. Soap leans backwards ever so slightly. Tilting his head to look up at Ghost. How tiny snowflakes get caught on his pale lashes. Being almost hypnotized by his eyes. His half lidded gaze. One of his hands rises to brush away some of the snowflakes that had gathered on Johnny's face. The other remains around him. A quiet moment passes, as they both just stand there together, enjoying the company. The snow falling around them. Ghost glances down at him for a moment and he can feel his gaze lingering on his lips. His mind races, wondering what he’s looking at. Or thinking. Then realizing. He could kiss him right now and maybe he wants to.

Both of Soap's hands slowly come up to his face, trembling. Fingers tracing the edge of his balaclava. "...May I?"

Simon stares at the hands as he raises them to his face. His expression is completely unreadable through his mask. The sergeant's heart races, adrenaline surging through his veins. He wants to do it. Why is he waiting for him? Just do it. Just…

As if reading his thoughts, Ghost slowly nods, his expression becoming more tender. "....Go ahead." His voice is a soft whisper, barely audible under the sounds of the snow and wind outside. Soap's fingers run along the edge of his balaclava once more, feeling the rough material and warm skin beneath. He takes his time, slowly sliding it up. He didn't push his luck though by overstepping any boundaries. Moving it just up to his nose. Revealing his jawline and lips. He can see how pale his complexion is, in a stark contrast to his own more tanned skin. Blue eyes wander over some faded and some deeper scars. His thumb lightly stroking over the bottom half of his cheek, the corner of his mouth. His lips are full and slightly pink. Johnny's fingers can feel the soft, warm breath against them. He was beautiful.

His gaze trails to the older man's eyes once more. As if silently asking for yet another permission. To see if this really was okay. Their eyes meet and Ghost stares at him with intensity. There is no need to ask for permission anymore. He’s looking at him with nothing but tenderness and longing.

Soap swallows, nervousness eating at him. His heart beating faster against his ribcage. Stomach twisting and turning. Instead of pulling his wide frame towards him, he gets on his tiptoes. Just a little. Enough for his lips to meet Simon's who leans down slightly. It only takes a few seconds for him to fully adapt to the height difference between them. Strong arms tighten around him. As if holding him tight enough will stop him from ever going away again. As if he never wants to let him go. As his big arms hold him close, he could've melted in an instant. He feels safe. Finally at home.

Ghost kisses him with an urgency that might’ve been reserved for life-or-death situations. Not the love and tenderness he’s showing now. Soap's eyes flutter close immediately. Giving into the moment completely. Enjoying his surprisingly soft, plush lips on his. The faint taste of beer still lingering on them. Mixed with his very own note. Simon's lips part ever so slightly and his own follow suit. His tongue flicks against his in an experimental gesture, as if testing the water. He gently pulls Soap in closer, his arms holding him tighter. And the sergeant's arms are now wrapped around Ghost's neck. Holding onto him just as much as he pressed close. He feels safe with him, in ways that words couldn't possibly describe. Their kiss deepens, becoming passionate and aggressive. Tongues exploring inside each other's mouths, teeth grazing against lips. Their breathing is quick, ragged. Barely able to hold themselves back anymore. Senses clouded not only by the booze from earlier but now with so many more sensations. It is intoxicating.

His tongue moves against Johnny's quickly. It feels like his passion is increasing with each passing second. Like something inside of him has broken free, releasing all of the pent-up emotions he’s been storing within himself. The embrace becomes more forceful; pressing their bodies together tightly. Soap begins to feel dizzy, almost overwhelmed by the rush of sensations running through his body. And then, Ghost pulls away from him gently… Slowly, reluctantly, letting go. His breathing slows a bit, though his chest is still heaving as if he’d been running a marathon.

Soap immediately takes a deep breath as well. Looking up at him as his eyes open again. Chest moving rapidly, lips curling into a grin. He lets a few moments pass before whispering. "You know... I think I'm okay with breaking rules here and there..."

Simon smiles warmly, his expression a complete contrast to the intense way he was just looking at him a moment ago. He still holds that loving gaze but now he seems like he’s content in the present moment; as if nothing else in the world matters. He even relaxes his grip, letting a hand slip off of him for a moment. “I second that...” His voice is softer now, the husky tone gone away. He lets his eyes trail towards Soap's mouth again, his hand slides back onto his cheek. Stroking it tenderly.

The smaller man lowers his balaclava again. Neatly tucking it back into the collar of his shirt. Patting his chest with a grin. "Freezing my butt off out here. Let's get movin'. I think we have the whole night to talk about a few things... And who knows..." He takes Ghost's skeleton gloved hand into his own as he starts walking again, dragging him along. His lieutenant chuckles slightly and allows him to take his hand. He nods as he lets him lead the way. The snow falling, the city sleeping… It’s all so peaceful.

Simon remains silent for a while, watching his sergeant walk in front of him. He seems like a different person now; the soldier who could barely show any emotion, who spoke in short, curt sentences and kept himself closed off, is now replaced with a man who smiles like a boy who’s gotten everything he wanted this christmas.

He still looks at Soap with tenderness, though his eyes are now filled with love.

Simon Riley was a human with emotions after all. He was more than the murderous beast the military made of him. He was more than The Ghost.

But most importantly.

Simon Riley was in love with John MacTavish

#ghost x soap #ghostsoap #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #soap cod #john soap mactavish #cod mw2 #cod #mw2 #cod fanfic #watcher writes

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