#i applied to a couple of jobs today because i just need a change of fucking scenery and i feel stagnant.

[potpiehead]

ive been more depressed lately

#if you cant tell #during the summer i had some zest for life and felt actually happy lol but with the turn of the season it just disappeared.. so annoying lo #i keep having thoughts that boil down to "id be happier if i were happier' like lol #i know that spending time with my friends and family; always having something going on; engagine with my interests and keeping myself busy #all make me feel good and i think those things came easier over the summer #when im doing something of interest i just feel this whole world open up and everything feels lighthearted and easy and then when i fall ou #of those habits and start doing less everythig just feels dark #the depression i have now is 100x better than the depression i had as a teenager though. i didnt have the life experience to know that #things could be better #it does make me feel good to know that there are things that help #i just feel so mentally weak like there are times when i think of the thing i want to do but the effort it would take is monumental #and it stresses me the fuck out #i applied to a couple of jobs today because i just need a change of fucking scenery and i feel stagnant. #evereythig feels bleak and meaningless but i have moments where i feel everything open up. idk #i have hope for myself lol just that today in particular has been shitty like a concentrated version of the past few months #but i did apply to jobs which is something i was stressing about! and i bought some shit i needed to buy that i kept putting off #i often have so much on my mind and am so overwhlemed i cant even think of getting shit done. this shit is ruining everything #catastrophizing was my specialty in early high school ive been here before its just that being a young adult is a new frontier. #and i feel like ive been sitting in one place not moving even though i have been doing things i need to CHANGE things #i have moments of strength but i know that overall im struggling. #anyway thanks for reading. i have work tomorrow gn!

[aclowntiny]

✧･ﾟ: *✧Spa Days With Seventeen!✧*:･ﾟ✧

I did this for Ateez quite some time ago, but after a day of working outside in 43 C/110 F weather for 8 hours spa hours have returned to my head 😅 anyhoo Warnings: just 🤏🏻 suggestive in a couple places

S.Coups

♡ All Seungcheol can do is giggle as you ‘aggressively’ insist on taking care of him, resembling a miffed kitten in his mind more than the lion you thought you were as you shuffled him off to change into cozy pajamas for the day.

♡ Enjoy basically wrestling with him over who gets to pamper who, because nearly as hard as you tell him he needs to relax he wants to be the one to fetch all your relaxation supplies for you and peel your sheet mask for you as you sit against his chest.

♡ You guys get ✨jacuzzi access✨ for the occasion and Seungcheol literally physically carries you into the water because he can and very much wants to. Pretends to drop you at first, smiles at the way you hold his neck tighter and squeal, then lowers you in gently.

♡ A purchase you made for the occasion was floating light-up speakers you were so excited to burst out, coordinating the lights to bob in cool colors to the calm beat of the playlist you chose to lay back together to.

♡ You go back to miffed kitten mode when Seungcheol pulls you into him to rub your back, insisting that's your job and only letting him when he says you can reciprocate, smiling at you with loving eyes and shaking his head as you practically dart behind and in front of each other like Looney Tunes at your request to alternate, feeling like he'd done plenty over your time together to make you feel like royalty, now it was your turn.

Jeonghan

♡ In all honesty, Jeonghan was a bit concerned when you suddenly approached him with an idea for the so-called best date, wondering what was up your sleeve, but the moment you said the words spa day at home it was like a spell came over him, pulling him all in on the introvert dream day. “Can we get these too?” “What are those, headbands? Don’t you think we have enou-” “But (y/n), they’re so cute and we can use them when we do the face masks!” “Oh, alright.”

♡ So there you are, rolling back your hair or simply accessorizing with fluffy headbands- Jeonghan’s being pink with bunny ears on it and yours being black with equally plush kitty ears- as you stick sheet masks on each other. His of course has a bunny print and yours matches your headband too!

♡ Another relaxation method you wanted to try is meditation, so you two sit, legs crossed, adjacent to each other and practice some deep breaths beneath lavender-scented air.

♡ Your significant other being Yoon Jeonghan, though, it’s not long before you feel a poke at your side, barely suppressing a giggle and trying to ignore it. Then another, and another, and you fold completely or rather unfold, collapsing from your perfect posture and falling onto his side, looking up into his smiling face.

♡ Your day ends in a tangle of pajama-clad limbs, Jeonghan holding you close and running his fingers through your hair and up your loose, fluffy sleeves to ghost along your arm as the both of you lull to sleep.

Joshua

♡ It's his idea. He wants to pamper you and thinks it seems really romantic ever since he saw another couple have one and wants to recreate it for you, but even better if he can.

♡ He starts by giving you a foot rub with this really high-end moisturizer they recommended in the video. Somehow he seems to know the exact amount of pressure you like without you even asking him to apply it!

♡ "I got you flowers today, just, you know, not like usual," Joshua jokes as he produces a glass jar with cute lace around its neck. Knowing you like to exfoliate, he had a scrub made with your favorite flowers in it for you to use, too!

♡ The pièce de résistance? Joshua opening the doors to reveal he'd prepared the classic candlelit bath, rose petals drifting lazily across the surface and a whole host of fine things to add to the otherwise-undisturbed water at your discretion. "Do you like it?" The way you fly into his arms hastily pulling his head down answers his question well enough, and you feel him smile against your lips.

♡ "What did I do to deserve this, hm?" You hum as you glance up with fluttering eyes from your legs resting atop his under the water to meet Joshua's across the tub. "All you had to do," Joshua replies, eyes radiant in the face of yours, "was be you."

Jun

♡ Two words: matching pajamas. That’s step one of spa day, just getting all changed into the coziest cutest couple set Jun could find for you two.

♡ "Let's try this massage gun I got that looks like a piece of exercise equipment!" Leave it to Wen Junhui to find the oddest yet most practical contribution he could make, you thought as he held up the strangely triangular device. Before you could protest that it was overkill, he held it up to you and pressed the button really quickly, giving you a little buzz that had you laughing, shaking your head as you accepted it from him.

♡ The thing was powerful, but you had to give it to him: it felt good. Yours and Jun's muscles were practically jelly by the time you slowly ooze up from the couch to brew a pot of chamomile for your afternoon tea, for which Jun had also bought your favorite biscuits. The man never failed to bring a smile to your face.

♡ This time standing up was easier, not least of all because of the large, secure hands that wrapped around yours, practically sending you leaping out of your chair and into Jun's arms as he slow danced you across the hard floors in your animal slippers. At least it didn't hurt if you stepped on his feet!

♡ Your day of self-care ends in the shower, where you get the full Wen Junhui hair was experience aka the 'if I get shampoo in your eye, hit me'. It never runs even close, though, to either of you as you massage each other's scalps, smiling contentedly as warm water cascaded over you both, encapsulating you in more than one steamy embrace.

Hoshi

♡ Hears ‘spa day’ and thinks only of two things: either laying around in robes with cucumbers over your eyes or you guys giving each other massages.

♡ Wants to do both frankly. Takes your idea as an excuse to buy cute robes for you both and also to play around with you, getting DIY kits to mix your own face masks and deciding to try a mixture of both on because it can’t be bad for him, right? “I’ll just by cleansed and moisturized this way!” He exclaims with a grin as he smears the odd green and pink swirled mixture on his eager face.

♡ Of course he has to remark that the odd mixture gives his face the stripes he needs as he bought himself an orange tiger patterned robe, completely uncaring of the clash between the colors on his cheeks and the rest of him.

♡ It’s a massive 180 from him giggling over tiger stripes, horanghae-ing, and eating the cucumbers off his eyes when he’s suddenly sliding your robe off your shoulders, each brush and motion deliberate.

♡ The robes and masks are fun and all, but Soonyoung can’t let that massage oil go to waste. He always starts either a little too tough or a little too gentle, always feeling a bit cautious or a tad too excited, but your guiding words have him turning you to putty in his hands and feeling all the more ready to return the favor.

Wonwoo

♡ So surprised when you suggest having a spa day, he just looks at you with shining eyes and a smile of endearment. “You want to have a spa day?” He repeats back to you, thinking you’re the cutest thing ever.

♡ You end up researching how to make things together, going to the market the day before to seek supplies. “So this is really going on our faces?” Wonwoo chuckles as you mash avocados in a bowl. “Yep,” you joke back, “and the baking soda and sugar aren’t for baking, either, remember?” “Well, I guess that makes sense. Sugar would exfoliate and avocados are rich in oil. As long as it’s good oil! I’m more surprised about the vinegar honestly.” Oh, how you loved having a smart boyfriend.

♡ Removing his glasses, he can’t help but smile as you gingerly dip your hand into the avocado-honey-apple cider vinegar mixture you'd insisted on adding lemon juice to "so it doesn't smell so bad for you", holding his head still by the chin with the clean hand before beginning to smear. Your fingers tightened just so beneath him as he jumped from the cold, nose crinkling slightly at the sensation, and you both giggled. Soon Wonwoo had your face in his hand as you took your turn to turn green, making Kermit jokes all the way.

♡ You’re most interested to see how the bath bomb you guys made turns out, unmolding it into your hand with great focus and nudging Wonwoo with your leg beneath the bathwater when it comes out nearly perfect. A little powder drifts into the water, making little purple swirls between you before you drop in the whole thing, accidentally making a splash that has Wonwoo teasing you for being irresponsible with your creation.

♡ In response, you push the fizzing heart shape his way and he sends it back toward you, creating an impromptu little ball game between you two as you sent the floral-scented bomb zipping along the water’s surface. Finally it dissolves, giving you less reason to slosh violet-tinted water out of your tub and more reason to lean forward, hands on the smooth surface, face almost touching Wonwoo’s. “Having fun?” “M-hm,” he hums in response, hand instinctively reaching up to rub your back. “Good,” you reply, closing the gap between you two as you teased, “I liked our little chemistry experiments almost as much as this chemistry.” That earned you a light swat, but also more kisses.

Woozi

♡ “This seems a bit silly now, doesn’t it (y/n)?” This in question being one of those little foot spas you picked up at the store and insisted on starting your day of relaxation with. “The warm water is supposed to feel good,” you reply with your best puppy dog eyes, “is it not working?” The moment you give Jihoon that look, he caves, shaking his head as his own expression falls into a smile and starts rolling up the legs of his pants.

♡ Honestly it does feel good and he has to admit it as you sit there each in your own bubbling soak, you scooting closer and closer until he notices and teases you about it, casually slinging an arm around your shoulders as he laughs.

♡ Once you’re all dried off from the little spas, you reach into your bag of tricks supplies, producing a little bottle. “What’s that?” Jihoon asks. “Massage oil,” you reply, motioning to the couch, “come lay down.” He obliges, laying flat on his stomach along the cushions as you coat your hands, but you can't help raising a brow at him when he turns to look at you, causing him to do a double take. "What?" "Take your shirt off," you tell him. If you were any closer, surely you would see his cheeks flushing. "Why?" You keep your eyebrow raised, lifting also your now-glistening hands. "I'm not about to ruin that nice shirt with this stuff."

♡ Shy as he seemed, Jihoon melts under your touch, relaxing the moment your palms meet his skin, brushing lightly over it with the cooling oil you’d chosen. Pride washes over you as you knead out several knots he surely gave himself from sitting in the wrong posture, but today isn’t the day to nag him over it, it’s all about relaxation.

♡ Jihoon insists on repaying your favors even if you wanted to give him the luxury day, and would you really deny a massage from him? Instead of the cooling oil, though, you choose your favorite fragrance and insist on sitting close to him, your back almost to his chest as he holds you gently between his folded legs. Some tension leaves your body, too, and you can tell by the smile you see on Jihoon’s face that venture peeking at that the day has been a success, let alone the time together that is yet to come.

DK

♡ The spa day shopping is this 🤏🏻 close to being his favorite part- surely you were already expecting a full basket? He actually picks out really cute stuff- you'll discover he has great taste in candles, choosing the perfect soft scents to relax to.

♡ Draws you a bath, also puts a rubber duck in it. Squeezing it is very relaxing, thank you! It’s enough to fill your heart just seeing Seokmin smiling in anticipation as he pours in a bunch of the bubble bath you picked out, stirring up the water until it’s covered with a fluffy film.

♡ Puts said fluffy film on his head to make you laugh. “What do you think, does this style suit me?” He asks, grinning and patting his new ‘hairstyle’ as you just sit in front of him bursting into giggles.

♡ Seokmin takes such good care of you in the tub, making sure if you sit in the half with the faucet that you never hit it even if he has to tug you away from it and devotedly taking the time to wash your hair with all the products you need and one special scented oil you found just for the occasion.

♡ He gently towel dries your hair off too and once you are both dried and be-robed it’s time for bed! Well, getting into bed anyway. Lighting all the little blue candles with their luxurious natural scents you guys had purchased for the occasion, Seokmin slides into the covers with you, pulling you into his arms as he puts on your favorite movie. There was no other option, sorry. Until, that is, you go back and forth about it and it devolves into a tickle fight, Seokmin conceding to watching his favorite next time when you win.

Mingyu

♡ Taking a bunch of silly photos of you two with pink mud masks on wasn't what you were initially expecting from the day, but in the end you feel gratitude for Mingyu's innocent spirit as you look back on the adorable shoot.

♡ He also insists on feeding you your choice of snack for the day because your mask is set and you can't do it yourself, no siree. You have to accept it by hand, no take backs.

♡ Wipes off said mud mask so gently you barely feel it…but when the washcloth is discarded, you do feel the way Mingyu’s thumb affectionately, feather-lightly caresses your cheek as he stares into those lovely eyes of yours he loves so much.

♡ And there you end up, cheeks sticking together just a little from the residue as your lips meet again and again, hands joined first in at your laps, then sliding up to wrap around each other.

♡ As you finally rise to your feet, Mingyu’s hands returning to yours to help lift you up, he suggests drawing you guys a bath with an intensity in his eyes you can’t deny, and you are glad to oblige when you see the way he’s decked the room all out with candles, a huge, proud, eager smile on his face.

The8

♡ Spa day with him almost turns into a full-blown resort day, not because Minghao insists on being extra but because you get a little salon experience when he decides to paint your nails- but only if you paint his, too.

♡ The first thing you do is just get yourselves relaxed, you two wearing comfortable clothes, lighting some incense, and sharing cups of Minghao’s favorite relaxing tea blend that he knows just how many times to steep.

♡ Next up is getting ready for the salon experience! You two take turns filing each other’s nails to get ready. Minghao’s grip on your hand is so soft even as he runs the gritty file along your nails, and if you aren’t fond of the feeling he keeps you distracted looking at him and listening to what he tells you, probably some new Chinese phrases if you haven’t heard them already.

♡ The hand masks feel like wet gloves, leaving the two of you laughing at the odd feeling. Venturing a high-five is a must, and the wet slap sound has you giggling more and crinkling your nose as you peel the masks off.

♡ When your moisturizer is all rubbed in, you two pick each other’s nail polish color and make it a surprise, once again keeping your eyes on each other as you sit hand in hand. For Minghao, you chose a dark, almost maroon, shade of purple, and for you he chose forest green. Your accent nail was some gold glitter on your ring fingers, which Minghao jokes is what bling you’ll get on your left side…for now 👀

Seungkwan

♡ So serious about it all!!! It starts with an elaborate skincare routine that Seungkwan probably would have made you do anyway and evolves into him showing you every restorative stretch he knows how to do so you're loosened up for your massage.

♡ “Stay still!” He whines as you roll your shoulders beneath his hands, but the only punishment you receive from Seungkwan is his hands lightly tapping against your shoulder as he shakes his head, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek. “What are we going to do with you?”

♡ You quickly begin taking advantage of that, moving a little bit more so he’s forced to hold you tighter, practically nuzzling into you as he weakly chastises you, a small smile on his face when he sees you leaning in expectantly. “All right, you’re allowed to move if that’s what you want,” he gives in, grinning.

♡ Still remains stock still when you return the favor, practically entering a liquid state beneath your touch, his only movement waves that follow the flow of your hands. The only sounds he makes are sighs of contentment and the occasional request of a shift in pressure.

♡ Sings you your favorite lullabies and love songs alike as if he were your little radio when you guys sink into the tub at the end of the night. Well, almost the end that is. You still have the nighttime skincare routine and mandatory cuddles awaiting you!

Vernon

♡ Your spa day is sort of impromptu, opening up your new skin care purchase turning into a whole day off spent in self care. "Does that thing really work?" Vernon had asked you, pointing to the shining gua sha in your hand with raised eyebrows. "Only one way to find out!" You shrugged with a grin, holding it up higher, and well, curiosity got the better of him.

♡ He wanted to try the steamer you got for your face too. "This opens up your pores, right?" You nodded as you plugged it in, head turned back to look upon him brightly. "Look at you being all smart! All right, here we go!" You turn it on, steam curling out towards your heads where they lightly pressed together. Vernon squeezed his eyes shut immediately and you couldn't help but laugh, even into the steam, at the face he made.

♡ You practically pull Vernon by the hand into the kitchen to make ‘fancy snacks’, which just ends up being wee little finger sandwiches. There are normal ones like microcosm peanut butter and jellies or cucumber sandwiches, then there are a few weird ones because hey, what else was to be done with that leftover sausage?

♡ Eating outside in the sun is much more relaxing, so you take your finger sandwiches in yours and Vernon’s version of al fresco, out in the yard where you trail off to pick flowers and he thinks you’re so beautiful he can’t resist a few snapshots of you. Even if you’re embarrassed about not having any makeup on, Vernon is completely caught up in the ethereal vision of you with your robe falling off your shoulders caught in a sunbeam, a few flowers in hand. Oops, might become his wallpaper, sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️

♡ Back inside, you press a few flowers in the pages of a book, pulling another off the shelf to read from as you soak all the dirt and wear off your feet in a pair of tiny spas, your eyes darting across the page and his following along, brightening as yours widen.

Dino

♡ “Can we do the thing with the hot rocks?” “Why would you pick the most dangerous spa activity you could?” “I dunno,” Chan chuckles in response, “it just seems cool!”

♡ Cue a quick google search on if doing that is even possible at home. Apparently the rocks are only heated to the equivalent of about 38-55 degrees Celsius (100-130 degrees Fahrenheit), AKA oven temperature, so that’s how you found yourself and Chan peeking into an oven full of volcanic stones that were probably intended to go in a garden.

♡ It’s worth it, though, to watch the focus on Chan’s face as he carefully presses the stones between his hands, checking the temperature and tempering the heat ever so slightly before resting them on your bare back. The warmth is startling at first, sending a shudder down your newly-decorated spine, but soon you’re melting beneath its sensation, eyes fluttering shut at the combined feeling of the stones and Chan’s hands over you.

♡ You do the same for him, pressing the stone and giving a satisfied little nod at the adequate temperance. “You look like a professional,” Chan comments, head propped up on his fist from where he lays, chest bare. You can’t help but flush at the sight, bidding him lay down so you can work all the knots and kinks out.

♡ Once massaged, you two stretch, having a little competition to see who can do the funniest pose. You win by a longshot, stealing and modifying that one weird stretch of Seungkwan’s and sending Chan into stitches. When you’re done laughing, he moves over to the speaker you had set up for relaxing music and turns it to something more romantic, pulling you into his chest and swaying lightly back and forth as he thanks you for a day that was both relaxing and fun.

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen reactions #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #s.coups #jeonghan #joshua #jun #hoshi #wonwoo #woozi #dk #mingyu #the8 #seungkwan #vernon #dino #fluff #gender neutral reader #continuing my vernon + books agenda because no one can stop me 😤

[alinataylorsversion]

Sleepless Nights

Tom Blyth smut

Warnings: Smut,fingering,oral sex(fem receiving),choking,insomnia.

Word count: 3,342

I couldn't have asked for a better life with Tom. We met on the set of The Hunger Games, started dating shortly after that, and we've been living together for two years now. Life was perfect. Up until Tom took a job offer, that included him being on the other side of the country most of the time.

Tom has been away for work for three weeks now. This wasn't the longest you've gone without seeing him due to this job, but that doesn't make it any easier. But today is the day he comes home.

It's about noon right now and I just got out of the shower. I'm supposed to be picking up Tom from the airport at two. To say i'm excited, is an understatement. You have no idea what loneliness feels like until you have to go weeks on end without seeing the person you love. To have to sleep alone every night, in the bed that you're meant to share with the one you love.

As I stare at myself in the mirror while getting ready. I notice the dark circles under my eyes. I spend most of my time ignoring them, considering people tend to think I am inconsiderate when I clarify that the only reason I can't sleep at night is because my boyfriend isn't home. There are bigger problems I could have than missing my boyfriend. So I hide it. I know Tom will notice right away, which is why I apply extra makeup underneath my eyes.

The airport is a fair drive away, so I tidy my things, and get ready to leave, Considering I plan to stop and grab coffee for Tom and I on the way.

Being with a movie star definitely had its perks, considering I just walked out of a million dollar house and I'm about to step into a 2022 range rover. It almost makes me feel guilty having problems with him being away so much.

Driving on the freeways always scares me. Which is why when Tom is here, i'm never the one to drive on long journeys like this. I change lanes and start to exit the freeway, to the street that conveniently has a Starbucks, and leads to the airport. Once I have both my go to refresher, and Tom's favourite, an Iced oat milk latte, I drive the last five minutes to the airport.

As much as it sucks, there is no point in me leaving the car once I get there. Tom flies private, there is no luggage claim, or anything like that to wait for him at. He will simply walk off the plane and head to the parking lot, where I am waiting for him.

His plane was supposed to land ten minutes ago, so he should be coming around the corner within the next fifteen minutes.

When I see him, I kid you not, a huge weight just got lifted off my shoulders. He's walking towards the car, bags in hand, as I get out of the car and run up to him. Before I even get there, he is dropping his bags and opening his arms to wrap around me.

As soon as I enter his warm embrace, I break.

Tears flowing down my cheeks, soak into his sweatshirt. His arms wrapped around me feel like home.

"Don't cry, love," He whispers into my hair before pressing a kiss to the top of my head. I only wrap my arms tighter around him.

We stand like that for a couple minutes before he pulls away and takes my face in his hands. I bring one of my hands to rest on top of his. Just then do I notice there are also tears forming in his eyes as well. He leans down and kisses me like his life depends on it. His lips move perfectly in sync with mine. He kisses me like he has been starved for weeks and just now he is getting the relief he needs.

All I want at this moment is to be home with him. Just the two of us in our own space where I can be myself again and not put on a show for everyone else. I kiss him with just as much hunger as he does to me. His tongue enters my mouth and I almost forget where we are for a second while his tongue caresses mine.

Not only have I been so physically distanced from him, I've felt so emotionally far as well. At this moment, I have never felt closer to him. Like i'm giving him all my emotions through our kiss.

A few moments later, he attempts to pull away, but I don't let him. My hand on the back of his head pushes his lips back to mine. He laughs through our kiss and pulls away again.

"Love you have me all to yourself again, I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere." His hands slide down from my face to my hips. "Let's go home, then you can kiss me all you want," He chuckles.

I look down at my feet and smile, The blood rushed to my cheeks. He leans down to grip the handle of his suitcase, and grabs my hand as we walk back towards the car.

He places his suitcase in the back, and goes to the drivers seat without me even having to ask him to drive. I take my seat on the passenger side, and he reaches over to place his hand on my thigh, giving it a small squeeze.

I lean over the smallest bit and wrap my own arms around his that is reached over to grab my thigh. My head rests against his arm as well. He smiles at me and leans down to kiss my forehead. I can see the blood rush to his cheeks. I love the fact that all this time later, I can still make him blush.

"I love you," I whisper into his arm.

" And I love you more," He puts the car into drive and we start the trip home.

I don't let go of him the whole ride home. And his hand doesn't lift from my thigh once. Not even to drink his coffee, he would take his hand off the wheel to do so. Even though that definitely isn't safe.

Once we got home, Tom placed his suitcase in our bedroom and came back out to find me waiting patiently for him beside the kitchen island.

He comes over and wraps his arms around me, while I bury my head into his chest. "You okay?" He reaches down and pushes a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"I missed you so much," I whisper, pulling away from him to rub my eyes.

" Well I'll tell you what, Tonight we can do whatever you want. You want to stay home and cuddle, perfect. You want to go rob a bank, i'll go buy ski masks." He smiles as he tries to make me feel better.

"I just want to cuddle with you," I admit.

"Well let's both go get into some comfier clothes, and we can order takeout for dinner, and watch that Taylor Swift tour movie you love so much." He says, knowing I couldn't say no to that.

"Chinese?"

"I wouldn't expect anything else." He laughs at my sudden enthusiasm. "And then we can have a bath later, and open up a bottle of wine while we're in there"

"Okay" I look up at him, and lean in to kiss him before going to change.

An hour later we're cuddled up on the couch, my head in his lap, while he plays with my hair. It takes everything in me not to fall asleep in that moment. The next minute, the doorbell rings, alerting us that the delivery guy is here. Tom gently lifts my head from his lap to go retrieve the food.

When he comes back, I'm sitting up waiting for him. He places the bag on the coffee table in front of us, opening it to grab the food and hand me mine. I give a quiet "thanks" and begin to eat as the Taylor Swift Reputation tour film plays in the t.v.

We sit in silence as we eat. My legs bent to the side and my knees slightly on top of his thighs, trying to get as close to him as possible.

He chuckles softly, clearly seeing what i'm trying to do. He places his container down on the table, and reaches his arms around to grab me and move me into his lap. He grabs the blanket from the back of the couch and places it over our legs, and my middle. He then continues eating, and I lean the side of my body back against his chest, and continue eating as well. We stay cuddled up while we eat, and for a few minutes after we finish.

Eventually I turn my head up to bury my face into the crook of his neck, while wrapping my arms around his torso. His arms immediately tightened around me, holding me close. I gently place a kiss on his neck, and another.

Tom pulls back to take my face in one of his hands, and leans down to press a soft kiss against my lips. I'm not one to immediately want to have sex when him and I are cuddled up, or being intimate in general, but right now all I want is for him to keep kissing me. He keeps the kisses soft and gentle. I made up my mind as I brought my hand to the back of his head and deepened our kiss, my tongue brushing against his lips, as if asking for permission.

In response, his tongue slowly brushes against mine, and mine enters his mouth. I can feel him smiling through the kiss and he pulls away slowly, his hand coming to the side of my neck to gently hold me in place.

"Are you sure, baby? We can just cuddle if you want, we don't have to do anything," He says as he makes immense eye contact with me.

I don't care about my dignity at that moment, even though I never have to with Tom. I take his hand that was resting on my lower thigh, just above my knee, and bring it higher up on my inner thigh in response. The side of my head goes to rest against his shoulder as I look up at him, and his hand that was once on the side of my head now wraps around my shoulders. "I want you to touch me."

He glances down to where I moved his hand, and looks back up at me before leaning down to kiss me again. He goes to wrap his arm around my torso and moves me to straddle his lap, his hands resting on my hips, still kissing me. I move even closer to him as my hips move forward to rest on top of his growing bulge, Which causes him to tighten his grip on my hips, and inhale sharply.

My hands go to his hair, as I run my fingers through it. Both our tongues fight for dominance, but I quickly let him take the lead. My hips grind down into his, causing him to take a sharp breath in, and me to let out a small whine, which is quickly masked by his tongue making its way back into my mouth.

All of a sudden, he is picking me up, standing with my legs wrapped around his waist, and he carries us to our bedroom. I lean down and press kisses against his neck, my tongue softly brushing against the skin there.

Once we get to our bedroom, Tom slowly lays me down on our bed as he continues kissing me. He moves so that he is on top of me, and starts trailing kisses down my neck. I turn my head to give him better access as he goes lower down my body, slowly lifting my shirt and placing kisses all around my navel. He leans back to sit on his knees, one on either side of me, and slowly reaches to pull my shirt up over my head.

Before he has the chance to lean down to kiss me again, I lead up and reach for the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head, only breaking eye contact when the shirt does it for us. I toss the shirt to the right of me, off the bed, and move backwards on the bed so my head rests on the pillows.

He stays in between my legs, his hands both on my outer thighs as they're spread for him to fit in between. He reaches down to undo the string tied up on the waistband of my sweatpants. He goes to pull down my sweats and I lift my hips to help him.

Once my pants are off, he leans down and continues pressing kisses around my navel, slowly bringing those kisses lower and lower. He presses a kiss directly below the white bow sitting on the waistband on my underwear, right above my clit.

I can now feel the wetness between my legs and I know he can tell just how wet I am, even above my underwear.

All of a sudden, his tongue softly brushes against my clit above me underwear, causing me to grind my hips up against his face. "Please Tom, stop teasing me," I beg him as he looks up at me and places a kiss right on top of my clit while making direct eye contact with me. I slightly throw my head back as my jaw drops and my eyes roll back. I hear him chuckle before he moves back to grab the top of my panties and pull them down my legs.

Once they're off, he leans down to kiss me, and brings his hand down towards my core. His fingers lightly brush against my wetness.

"You're so wet for me," He says in between kisses. His fingers continue to explore my wetness before he slowly pushes one of his fingers inside me, curling it to hit my g-spot perfectly.

My lips part from his as my jaw drops and I let out a louder moan than I expected to. My hand reaches up to cover my mouth, but Tom is quick to reach up and remove my hand from my own mouth and place it around his neck. "Don't hide those sounds from me. Let me hear you, love." He adds another finger to the mix and continues curling them against my g-spot.

That makes me lose it, and I let out a loud moan as I grind up against his hand. His thumb goes to rub on my clit, and I throw my head back in pleasure. I get close to my orgasm embarrassingly fast. Tom continuing fingering me while rubbing my clit almost throws me over the edge, but I need more.

"Choke me," My voice comes out high pitched and desperate. "Please. Please choke me," I beg as he leans down and kisses me, hard. His hand comes up to wrap around my throat and he squeezes the column of my throat tightly, like he knows I like. And it pushes me over the edge as I throw my head back, and my eyes roll back, just as the pleasure takes over, and i'm no longer able to control the sounds coming out of my mouth.

My legs shake as his fingers continue their rough assault against my g-spot, riding me through the blinding pleasure he is giving me. My head fuzzy, and my lungs desperately trying to get air as he keeps his tight grip around my throat.

"There you go. You're such a good girl for me, cumming so hard around my fingers," His hand slightly loosens to let me catch my breath, his fingers slowing their movement inside me as I come down from my high.

I don't know how long I lay there before I open my eyes. But when I do, I'm dressed in one of Tom's shirts, and a clean pair of my underwear, while laying underneath the blankets. I look over to the clock on the nightstand and see that it's just past eight.

I immediately go to sit up, ignoring the slight ache in my abdomen. I head towards the kitchen to see Tom washing the dishes that were left there from breakfast and lunch today.

As soon as I enter the room, Tom drops what he's doing and makes his way over to me. "Hey, love. How are you feeling?" He looks concerned.

"Did I fall asleep?"

He reaches to push a piece of my hair behind my ear, gently cupping my cheek afterwards. "Yea you passed right out. Had me worried there for a while."

I groan as I reach up and bury my face in my hands. "I'm so sorry, that was so rude I-," He cuts me off by wrapping his arms around my torso and pulling me closer to him, still making eye contact with me.

"Shhhh. Don't do that. You were exhausted, I could tell."

"That still doesn't give me the right to leave you hanging after you did that for me, especially when you just got home," I explain, my voice distressed.

He reaches up and places both hands on each side of my face, holding it softly. "You were exhausted. It's perfectly fine, you didn't have to do anything for me in return, you know I don't expect that of you every time, my love," His eyes completely softened.

"I know that, I just feel bad," I bury my head into his chest. He wraps his arms around me and scoops me up bridal style.

"Come here, baby," He brings us over to the couch and sits down. "Listen to me. I don't want you feeling bad at all, okay. You are absolutely perfect, and you falling asleep doesn't change that at all. You think I don't see the dark circles under your eyes, Baby you haven't been sleeping. If anything, I'm glad I could finally help you get some rest."

I sniffle and cuddle my head deeper into his chest. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." I all of a sudden start to feel ashamed.

"No baby, don't apologize, you can't control it. Tonight i'll be there with you, and i'm not going anywhere. I'll be right there to sing you to sleep like you love so much."

I look up at him through glossy eyes. "I love you so much" I whisper.

"And I love you more." He leans down to press a kiss to my forehead. "How does that bath sound now?" He asks softly.

"Amazing" I let out, sounding more like a groan than a word. But he understands me nevertheless.

He smiles and lets go of my legs to allow me to stand. "You go get ready and I'll go open a bottle of wine, okay?"

I nod with a smile and make my way to the bathroom to draw the bath. I add Tom and I's favourite vanilla essential oil to the water, along with some bubble bath. Tom comes back with two glasses of red wine and we both make our way into the bath.

We spend an hour talking about sweet nothings, washing each other's hair, and drinking the rest of the bottle of wine before making our way back into the bedroom for bed.

I put on another one of Tom's shirts and opted for a pair of his boxers instead of my underwear. We crawl under the covers and I cuddle up as close as humanly possible to him, practically on top of him, my face buried in his neck.

That was the best sleep I'd had in weeks.

#tom blyth smut #Tom blyth #Tom blyth fluff #Coriolanus snow #The hunger games

[cutecurly-hair]

Hearts Unleashed (Part 1)

Pairing: Nick Nelson x Black!fem!reader

Warning: Fluff, Smut in later chapters, Body Shaming

Words: 2234

Please interact and comment to keep it going. I always love to know what you think.

"What does this mean?" I stared at the piece of paper clutched tightly in my hand. My mom's eyes held an unmistakable unease as she replied, her voice tinged with worry, "This is our plane ticket to England."

Excitement bubbled up inside me as I glanced at the tickets. "We're going to England for a vacation! I had a feeling this year would be different. Do you think we can visit Paris while we're there? I heard it's just a quick train ride away."

My mom chuckled nervously, her laughter quivering. "That's the thing, honey, this isn't just a vacation; it's permanent."

My brows furrowed as I examined the ticket more closely, finally noticing the bold "ONE WAY" printed in the upper right corner. "What do you mean, one way?" Confusion washed over me, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"It means we'll be officially moving to England. I applied for a new job there, and I got it," my mom explained as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She saw the panic in my eyes and hurriedly added, "I understand it's sudden, but I think this will be a great change for us. I've even found a fantastic school with an amazing film program that I know you'll love."

My mind raced. "I don't even know what to say. Why are you telling me this now?" My whole life was here in America, and the idea of packing up and moving to another country was almost too much to bear.

"Honey, I know it's sudden, but they called me today, and they need me to start immediately. That's why we have to leave tomorrow."

"Tomorrow! I don't even have time to pack, let alone say goodbye to my friends. We can't just uproot ourselves from LA and head to England." I looked around our apartment, a cozy haven that had been my home for the past seven years. It felt like things were finally getting back to normal.

I glanced at the ticket again and saw the fine print: Departing from LAX tomorrow at 10:45 am. "I should really start wearing my glasses," I muttered under my breath.

My mom tried to reassure me, "Everything will work out fine. I've hired movers to come during the week and help ship the rest of our stuff. Tonight, all we need to do is pack our personal things and head to the airport first thing in the morning."

I felt like I wanted to argue, but then I saw how tired my mom looked. Her face seemed really worn out, and she had a tired look in her eyes. It made me realize that maybe I hadn't been paying enough attention to how she was feeling lately.

I decided not to bring up my concerns because I didn't want to make things worse. I didn't want to fight with my mom when she already seemed so tired and stressed. So, I chose to keep quiet and let it go for now, even though I still had my worries.

As we stepped off the plane in London, the dark grey skies clouded my vision, and the unfamiliar air filled my lungs. Instantly, I began to miss home. With half of my life packed away in two large suitcases and three duffel bags, this was definitely going to take some getting used to.

"Have your other bags arrived yet?" my mom asked, her eyes darting to the time on her wrist.

"Sorry for making you wait," I replied with a sigh. "When you're packing your whole life into a bag, it tends to take a while." I was far from being in a good mood after only managing to grab a couple of hours of sleep, spending one of them writing an overly dramatic paragraph to my friends about where I'd be for the next few years.

"There's no need to get sassy with me, Y/n," my mom chided. "I'm just worried about the time. I don't want to be late for the shuttle. If we miss this one, the next won't be for another three hours. And I'm sure you don't want to spend that much time at the airport."

Before I could respond, I spotted my color-coded bags moving slowly along the conveyor belt. I collected them and loaded them onto a trolley, then couldn't help but add a mockingly sweet tone, "Now, we can go."

My mom led the way to the shuttle, looking a bit lost in the bustling airport. She approached a stranger for directions, and I listened intently, realizing I needed to get used to the distinct accent. My mom thanked the stranger urgently, and we hurriedly made our way to catch the shuttle, leaving behind the life I'd known in America.

Arriving at our new home in England I couldn't help that there was a mix of excitement and trepidation. I had seen pictures of the place, but it was entirely different to stand in front of it, knowing that it was going to be our home for the foreseeable future. My mom, ever the optimist, had put in tremendous effort to ensure it was the best flat on the block.

As we approached the building, I noticed the quaint charm of the neighborhood. Rows of terraced houses with colorful front doors lined the cobblestone streets. It was a far cry from the sunny, palm tree-lined avenues of Los Angeles that I had called home.

My mom had informed me earlier that her new job had provided relocation money, and she had spent hours researching and visiting potential flats to find one that met all our needs. She was determined to make this transition as smooth as possible for me, especially since I wasn't exactly thrilled about changing schools.

The flat itself was a cozy two-bedroom apartment on the top floor of a charming Victorian building. It had large windows that let in plenty of natural light, and I could see the spires of an old church in the distance. The living room had plush sofas, and I could just imagine the walls being adorned with artwork from home. She had even managed to find a flat with a small balcony where we could enjoy tea on sunny afternoons.

As we stepped inside, I couldn't help but be impressed by how homely it felt, despite being in a foreign country. My room, though smaller than what I was used to, had a window overlooking the quiet street below. I packed some of my posters and photographs from our life in LA, making it feel like a small piece of home.

As I unpacked my belongings, I couldn't help but reflect on the whirlwind of changes that had brought us here. My parents' divorce had been a long and sometimes painful process, but with me finishing up middle school, it seemed like the right time for a fresh start.

In my mom's perspective, this move was a chance for something new and exciting, a way to turn the page on a difficult chapter in our lives. But for me, I felt like I was just along for the ride, caught up in the decisions made by the adults in my life. It wasn't easy to accept that we were starting over in a completely different country.

While I tried to look on the bright side, I couldn't shake the feeling that my mom should have told me about it much sooner. The truth was that I was still deeply hurt and confused.

But as I glanced out the window of our new flat and saw the quaint streets of our new neighborhood, I knew that, in time, I would find my place in this new chapter of our lives. Change might not come overnight, but I was determined to make the most of it and find the silver lining in our fresh start.

—-----

A whole week had passed, and I swear my boredom had reached Olympic levels. Our furniture from LA finally showed up a few days ago, and let me tell you, I became the world champion of room redecorating in record time. But apart from that impressive feat, my life had all the excitement of a cardboard box. School isn't kicking off until Monday, which gives me a gentle nudge that I should probably check out the film program my mom's been raving about. 

Feeling all organized and responsible, I sat down and sketched out the route from our place to the school. It's like a 20-minute walk, which I can totally handle once I get the hang of it. But if I'm feeling a bit lazy (which happens, like, all the time), there's a nifty 10-minute bus ride option. Plus, my mom's still knee-deep in paperwork to send our car overseas, so it's official I'm becoming a bus pro.

Then I checked out the school's website, and the film program doesn't look half bad. They've got this YouTube channel packed with short films that are more interesting than binge-watching cat videos. And here's the real kicker they've got a partnership with Netflix! I mean, seriously, how did they manage to pull that off? They're talking about workshops and internships, and I'm just here thinking,

"Who's the magician that got Netflix on board?" That seriously is impressive.

Looking out of the window, I couldn't believe my luck the sun was actually shining for once! After days of nothing but gray skies, it felt like a small miracle. I was starting to understand that sunny days were a rare commodity in this place. So, I thought, why not make the most of it while I could?

I swapped out my usual outfit for a pair of comfy shorts and a cool graphic tee. In a flash, I was out the door, ready to savor every bit of that precious sunshine.

As I continued my stroll through the neighborhood, I stumbled upon a charming park nestled amidst the houses. The sunlit meadow was dotted with people, and what caught my eye was the number of folks out and about with their dogs. It was becoming evident that this was definitely a big dog-loving community, and the park was their social hub.

I watched as playful pups frolicked, tails wagging with unbridled enthusiasm, and their owners chatted amicably, forming a tight-knit community within the community. It felt heartwarming to witness such camaraderie, and I couldn't help but smile at the sight.

I stumbled upon the perfect photo opportunity, one that would fit perfectly in my collection. I'd forgotten my camera at home, but my trusty phone would have to do. As I aimed to capture the moment, an unexpected collision sent my phone tumbling to the ground.

Before I could get a word out, the other person beat me to the punch. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going," he said, hastily bending down to retrieve both of our phones. It turned out he had dropped his phone as well.

I felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up. "No, no, it's alright. It was my fault for standing right in the middle of the walkway," I replied, cheeks tinged with a hint of red.

He handed back my phone with an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that. Hopefully, it didn't crack," he said, his own cheeks taking on a shade of pink.

I shook my head, trying to conceal my own embarrassment. "No big deal. You might have done me a favor, actually. It's about time I got a new phone, and this could be the perfect excuse," I quipped, waving my phone playfully. The boy chuckled warmly.

"Thanks for not making me feel awful about it," he admitted, appearing relieved. "I'm Charlie, by the way." He extended his hand, and I shook it with a friendly smile.

I responded, "I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you, Charlie." The friendly atmosphere that had enveloped us earlier seemed to dissipate, leaving an awkward silence in its wake.

Charlie finally broke the silence, his voice tinged with shyness. "Sorry, but I can't help but notice the accent..."

I smiled, realizing his curiosity. "Oh yeah, I'm from America. We just moved here last week, right down the block," I stated, hoping to ease the awkwardness.

Charlie's eyes lit up with excitement. "Right down the block! I live right down that way." I couldn't help but feel my own excitement grow.

"I live where the new flats were built, I think they're called the Avalone Suites or something," I mentioned. Charlie's face instantly lit up with recognition.

"I live right across from you! Everyone around the block has been raving about the new building," he exclaimed,

As Charlie and I walked back to my apartment, he chatted animatedly about the neighborhood, sharing tidbits about the local shops, nearby parks, and the best places to grab a bite. It was clear he was friendly and genuinely excited to have a new neighbor.

During our conversation, we made another delightful discovery – we were both going to the same school. It was a pleasant surprise that eased my earlier concerns about not knowing anyone in this new place.

By the time we reached my apartment building, Charlie had almost talked my ear off, but I didn't mind one bit. With a warm smile, I turned to him and said, "Thanks for walking me back, Charlie. I guess I won't be starting school completely alone."

Charlie grinned in response; his eyes filled with genuine friendliness. "Anytime, Y/N. I'm looking forward to seeing you at school."

We added each other on each other's socials before we parted ways.

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/cutecurly-hair/727972531449020416/hearts-unleashed-part-2?source=share

#kit connor #black reader #nick nelson x reader #black!fem!reader #heartstopper #nick nelson x y/n #nick nelson fanfic #nick nelson x fem!reader #nick nelson x blackreader #charlie spring #heartstopper fanfic #heartstopper netflix #heartstopper fandom

[catgirlshauna]

holy shit guys really proud of this one hope yall enjoy 😠🗣️

warnings: smut, bad jokes, gp!reneé

words: 2100

being a composer of music was hard, especially when you composed for artists who aren't exactly huge yet. you believe in them the most, though, they're your favorite kind of people to work with. humble, kind, just trying to get to stardom. but your new client had been kept a secret from you by your managers. why? you have no idea. what could possibly freak you out so bad that they had to hide it?

fucking reneé rapp. thee regina george, which was debatable, but you don't care. she is your favorite. yours. her voice is beautiful, her face is beautiful, her personality is by far the best you've seen. she is like finding gold in a pan of gravel, diamonds amongst coal.

today is the day you meet her. you're nervous, you've applied three layers of deodorant with a nice unisex cologne to cover it up. your heart is absolutely pounding, your chest thumping to the beat of the song they sent you samples of. you sit in your studio, which happens to be in your apartment, a luxury you could afford thanks to people like reneé, and wait patiently for her to arrive.

the knock at your door is done to the tune of jingle bells, which did in fact shock you into freezing. it's june? you snort and move to open the door, revealing the happy-go-lucky blonde bouncing on her feet. adhd. or anxiety. you could relate.

“please, come in.” you step to the side, welcoming her into your apartment. she steps in, hands intertwined behind her back as she closely examines the art and posters on your walls.

“beyoncé?” reneé grins, looking over at you for a moment.

“of course.” you reply quickly, hopelessly begging her with your eyes to follow you to your studio. she just smiles, shaking her head and whispering ‘not yet’.

“i like your place.” she muses, picking up books and reading the covers out loud to herself. “like your uh, books, too..” she adds, adjusting the glasses on her nose that look just a little too dirty to actually see out of.

“um, miss rapp?”

“yeah?” you have her full attention now. horrifying.

“can we go to the studio now…? i'd like to show you some lyrics i thought of the other day.” you try not to sound too… pushy? if you did, reneé does not notice, and nods eagerly as she follows you into the closet-like room. ah. you never said your studio was big. you cramp into your chair, gesturing for her to sit as well.

“kinda romantic in here… is that the point?” reneé wiggles her eyebrows under her glasses. you sputter, grabbing the remote and changing the color to a calm blue. reneé pouts. “don't wanna feel romantic with me?”

“not really. anyway, please read.” you push the pages of heavily edited lyrics into her hands. she sighs, adjusting her glasses once again and reading your papers. you hope to god she likes them, because? you don't have an option b. you weren't given enough time, enough warning, that you'd be working with one of your favorite artists in the world.

she ‘mhm’s’ a couple times, puts the papers down, and grins this million dollar smile at you.

“i love it. i knew my people chose you for a reason.” she beams, placing her hand over yours, her thumb rubbing over the skin of your knuckles. “great job, baby.”

the second time you see reneé is unexpected, rather surprising, and had you throwing your phone at the wall with a scream. on your screen appears a picture of reneé, with very little clothes on. the lingerie hugged her curves like rivers hug canyons, the way her tits pushed up just perfectly in her lacey bra, her puffy nipples perked and played with in one hand, and the thong, that left nothing to the imagination.

you wanted to scream again, but you were pretty sure you just woke up your neighbors. the message that popped up after makes you nearly pass out.

hot blonde mommy 🤕: oopsy

you put your phone down, eyes wide and fingers pinched at your nose.

hot blonde mommy 🤕: that was 4 angourie sorry, needed her professional opinion on my nudes LMAO

you put your fucking phone down again, and hid it under a pillow this time. your hands shook, and your stomach was buzzing in excitement. were you about to masturbate? to that? the definite answer was yes, and it was the best orgasm potentially ever.

the third time you see reneé, you're sat next to each other at a big round table, her managers on the other side. it's a business meeting, a very official one, that has you so stressed out you can't seem to sit still. and reneé, being reneé, notices almost immediately. the way your leg bounces underneath the table, the way you pick at the skin of your fingers. she notices it all. and she takes initiative, grabbing your hand into her own and intertwining your fingers. she rubs her thumb over your knuckles, soft, soothing circles that have you relaxing into your chair. she leans over to whisper, “relax, baby. i'm right here.” i'm right here. you flush, your heart racing in your chest.

one thing you love about reneé is how soft she is behind closed doors, how caring and quiet she can be. you find yourself falling deeper and deeper into a rabbit hole of your own thoughts… does she like me? you think as she stares into your eyes, completely ignoring the very important men talking to her. the blue of her eyes, reminiscent of the polar ice caps, makes you shiver in your seat. they're so soft, so kind, that you couldn't imagine looking anywhere else.

that is until… one of your bosses clears his throat. “the meeting is over. did you pick up anything of importance?” he smiles knowingly, the holding of hands seems to not have gone unnoticed.

“yeah. yeah… i've picked up a lot of things.” you clear your throat, letting go of reneé’s hand and standing quite abruptly. “i gotta go but um… this was really insightful.” you give reneé what you hope is a beaming smile, before walking out of the room with a skip in your step. not only were you excited to hit your dab pen, you were excited that reneé seems to feel for you what you might feel for her!

the fifth time you meet reneé… well, she's drunk, on the phone, begging to come over. who are you to say no? of course you were going to say yes! what idiot wouldn't want reneé rapp drunk in their apartment?

she shows up at your door with a crooked grin, pushing her way in as you quickly shut the door behind her.

“haven't been here in a while… anything change while mama was gone?” reneé giggles, kicking off her heels and draping her body over your entire couch. you scoot her over, gently, and sit next to her.

“nah. i know unfamiliar things stress you out.” you say, a soft smile on your face as you stare down at her. she reaches her hand out to touch your face, caressing your cheek with her thumb.

“why do you care so much?” reneé asks suddenly, her eyes wide. her pupils are blown wide, whether it be from the alcohol or the loving stare she usually gives you, you couldn’t tell.

“cause i like you.” you say quietly, placing your hand over her own. she lets out a huff, a breath of surprise, and lets her hand tremble against your face.

“you like me?”

“more than anything.”

it's been a month since you and reneé started dating, and she's been getting extremely handsy as of late. saying sweetly dirty things over the phone while she's away for her tour, her hand settling right on your thigh with the lightest of squeezes to remind you she's there.

you two haven't gone beyond making out and palming at each other, but reneé has made it very clear that she wants more. which is why… well, she's set up a date at her apartment in LA. she promises it's going to be so romantic and perfect, then asks you to open the gift she left on her bed. the lingerie set she was wearing in that picture. in pink.

you nearly pass out when she texts you.

hot blonde mommy 🤕: wear it for me… please, baby?

you don't question it, not at all, and immediately find yourself putting it on. it's tight, hugging your curves, making you look as beautiful as it made her.

hot blonde mommy 🤕: is it on

you set yourself up in front of her full body mirror, sitting on your knees with your legs spread to reveal the parts of your body you know reneé likes best. the picture is sent, and not more than five seconds later she's typing already.

hot blonde mommy 🤕: let me in, baby, i'm outside :(

you run to the door, nearly slipping in your socks on the hardwood floors of your apartment. as soon as the lock is unlocked, the door is pushed open. standing on the other side? reneé, slowly squaring up to you, pressing her chest against your shoulder.

“you look… fucking amazing.” she breathes, embracing you softly. her lips graze the skin of your throat, and you find yourself tilting your head so she can get a better taste. “are you.. ready?” reneé whispers into your neck, inching her kisses towards your ear. she's breathing heavily, nearly panting because of how worked up she is.

you gently remove yourself from her body for a moment, a shy smile on your face. “can i..?” referring to her clothes, which reneé forgot existed for a moment. she quickly rids herself of her sweatpants and sweater, but now that she's in her panties? she makes it a goddamn show. she hooks her fingers into her panties and pullssss them down, revealing her aching dick.

you know you've soaked through your pretty panties already, but you don't care.

“can i put it in?” reneé pants, grinding her cock against your thigh as she pushes you down onto the bed, climbing over the top of you and straddling your hips. you can't speak, you can only blush and whimper out a yes.

reneé positions herself in front of your aching hole, pushing your panties to the side. she’s plunging in slow, her hips stuttering slightly at how tight and wet you are for her. she's had plenty of dates before, ones that ended in mind blowing sex, but for some reason she knew… this was going to be different.

she takes the lace off of your chest, revealing neglected nipples that begged for her full attention. reneé revels in the feeling of eye contact, so brushes her nose against yours, silently asking you to look her in the eyes. you flush, yet your eyes are opening to stare back into hers. she smiles, sickly sweet, before taking one of your nipples into her mouth. her tongue licks at you lazily, and soon her hips start to move again. she fucks you low and slow, like ribs at the barbecues she'd attend with her parents in north carolina.

“you don't mind if i bite, do you, baby?” reneé purrs, digging her teeth into the flesh by your nipple. you arch your chest forward into her mouth, while simultaneously arching your back to get her deeper inside of you.

she quickens her thrusts, her hands gripping at your hips to pull you into her cock. reneé bites her lip to stop from moaning, letting out a whimper. “can i cum in you, sweet thing?” she asks, her voice husky as she whispers it into your ear. you squirm in her grasp for a moment.

“never.. been cum in before.” you mutter, looking off to the side in embarrassment. reneé smiles, oh so sweetly, before pressing you into a more provocative position. a mating press. she whispers a soft ‘fuck’ and speeds up her thrusts.

“please let me cum in you, baby…” she begs, staring into your eyes pleadingly, almost like a lost puppy. you bite your lip and nod, then gasp as she fucks you harder, snapping her hips into yours. “feel so fuckin’ good, so good for me…” reneé nearly growls, her hips stuttering as she plunges herself as deep as she’ll go. you feel all the air leave your lungs as her cum fills you, and can barely recover before she's taking you into a deep kiss. “i can't wait to do this again, sweetheart.”

#renee rapp #reneé rapp x reader

[popawritter12]

Hello.Can I apply if they are still open?Can I have a Raiden x reader please? I would like to see comfort or anxiety (?)She is an excellent informant, constantly living under the guise of other people. Her motives and behavior are constantly changing. Everyone finds her somewhat threatening because they can't figure out what's on her mind. Raiden knows her a little better and at one moment finds her completely broken, because living someone else's life, knowing everything about everyone, is difficult and destructive for the psyche.Sorry, I do not speak english well. I hope my request will be clear...Thanks in advance <3

Of course! I really needed an excuse to do a oneshot with this man HAHAHA (Sorry if it took too long :c)

Yandere! Raiden x Female reader

Yandere character: Raiden/Jack.

From the videogame/serie/book/movie/manga or anime: Metal Gear saga.

Case: Stalking, a little mention of illegal investigation, comfort and anxiety for the reader <3.

Warnings: Nao nao.

Part: 1 of 1

Finished: Yes.

(You never knew Raiden much, in fact, you only exchanged words with him a handful of times. It was the same with the rest of the team; you just do the most important thing, and then the rest doesn't matter.)

You had a somewhat complex job, the change in personality and appearance was almost as constant as drinking water. And lately, those “jobs” had appeared with more regularity. They were more than your mind could handle; especially with how seriously you took the job you had been assigned.

Especially with how difficult it was to deal with the people you encountered. As an informant, you had a hard time coping with your mental health due to overwork.

Although, you hated being so untalkative; There were very few people you genuinely talked to with confidence, and especially at work. And while you always sought to maintain a constant line of respect with everyone you met, you never felt a level of connection of genuine friendship with anyone.

Without many options, you tried not to overthink. Between all your mistakes in doing various jobs during the most recent week, along with recent arguments with your family led you to be tired, but not physically.

It had been a particularly complex day for you. In fact, this whole week was being especially difficult for you.

—How many times do I have to tell you that I'm fine?

—You know it's not that, I just think…

—This is the fourth time this week you've called me! —You gritted your teeth, trying to suppress how irritated you were—. You almost ruined my job today, the same thing happened yesterday and the day before yesterday, don't you understand how important this is to me?!

The woman on the other end of the phone sighed somewhat heavily.

—I feel like this job is slowly consuming you, I'm afraid you might be having a hard time because of this.

—But..! —Before you could deliberately let out any insults, you threw your back slightly back, hitting the fluffy pillow of the backrest, before remaining silent.

The chair moved smoothly due to your abrupt tilt. The smell of dust invades your senses as you tried to stay calm. The other person you were talking to was a close aunt of yours, she was like your second mother, and she called you often, so often that even your mother more than once threatened to take her cell phone away from her if she didn't let you in peace.

—Listen, dear —She began, a noise from the television playing on her side of the call —.I'm sorry to be so annoying, but I think it's been many months since we saw each other in person, and I'm worried that there's something wrong with you or someone trying to revent you from talking to me and your mother.

Even if you wanted to respond, you just listened to her.

—If you don't want to talk, that's fine, just call us from time to time, okay? —She continued, but she was called by a couple of knocks on her door—well, sweetheart, I have to go, I love you.

She cuts off your call before you could answer, leaving you silent, alone.

You removed your cell phone from your ear, placing the object on the table now. Your gaze remained fixed on the screen, thoughtful.

Doubt arose in your head; How long had it been?

Because you were so busy, the days flew by, as if what had happened 5 months ago had happened yesterday. Checking your calendar, you realized that it had indeed been a long time since you last saw your mother and aunt.

You looked at the images and information that you had hanging on the furniture in front of you, noticing that the amount of words and images that were located there was… excessive.

In fact, it had been a long time since you last hung out with someone you really trusted. Part of you thinks it's because you're so used to no one waiting for you. But, now you feel a gradual change about your past decisions.

Mom was waiting for you at home, longing for you to be safe, maybe thinking that someone is hurting you, or taking you away from her, or killing you.

You panted heavily, leaning down to touch the pad of your phone with the tip of your finger.

Mom is worried, and your aunt too.

Tell me, why the hell do you care more about a fucking job? Unlike the other people there, at least you had a family. Why were you working so many extra hours to investigate, to reinforce your performance? Was all this really about the money? Or was it because you like to rack your brains over topics that don't even concern you?

Your heart rate increases slightly, along with a slight feeling of weight on your chest. That same feeling that had haunted you so much that day.

They are worried about you, why do you ignore them? And your friends? Do they no longer exist for you?

Why the fuck are you still in that job after so many years and all the shit you had to see?

Physical torture, manipulation of all people with important information, death…, and many more things that you preferred not to remember.

So many people with whom you interacted and pretended that they were reliable friends, who for endless hours you dedicated yourself to listening to their problems or their deepest thoughts, so that in the end they end up dead.

And partly, his death was your fault. Tell me, how far are you willing to go? How far are you going to justify your complicity in the death of so many people?

Are a few dollars equivalent to the death of these people?

Your heartbeat increases, while small drops begin to fall from your cheeks. But you didn't sob at any point.

You could feel your hands shaking. You ran your palms over your face, gently covering your entire face. And you just sobbed softly, trying to vent all your thoughts clinging to your chest and stuck deep in your mind.

In short, there was no one but you in that small place you called “your research office.”

Then, a hand on your shoulder catches your attention.

—(Name)?

His voice sounded soft, unlike how it normally sounded. Quickly, your hands left your face, while your head along with your shoulders moved slightly to where you heard the voice.

—S-shit… —You gasped, before grabbing a used napkin to quickly wipe your cheeks and eyes, —…, I didn't know you were around.

Because of how quickly you went through the paper cloth, and because of the time that had passed since the last time you used it, your skin ended up scratched and somewhat bruised.

After that, you threw the paper into the trash can—although the trash can was overflowing with papers—and you pretended to arrange some papers of your desk.

—Why are you here..? —You hesitated, but before you expected it, he took the papers.

—Are you ok?

The question didn't take you so much by surprise, but it did take your sensitive heart, which longed for that human contact, even if it was only through words.

—Yes, why would I be…?

He grabs the back of the swivel chair, before moving it so you're facing him.

—You do not look well.

It was too obvious that you couldn't pretend to be bad right now, but you also didn't want to look this vulnerable to him.

—I just had a… family problem —You answered simply.

He didn't look entirely convinced, but he let go of the back of the chair, at least giving you some space.

—You've been very busy this week, are you sure you're okay? —He insisted, his gaze traveling a little over your face.

Small parts of your face, like your nose or the dark circles on your eyes, were slightly scratched. And your eyes were still with a tearful sheen along with a poorly hidden trace of the tears that had escaped from you.

Among all your classmates, you thought anyone could find you in a vulnerable situation like this, except him.

But in the end, you needed someone by your side so you could let go of all the thoughts you had inside of you.

—Actually… I feel like… it's been a long time.

He was confused, but didn't mention anything.

—My aunt called me, and she told me that she was worried about me… —You started your explanation —…, but she had already called me like twice or more during the week, so I… was a little angry.

Your voice cracked softly as you progressed in what you were telling him, while your heart rate increased again.

—I yelled at her and told her to stop interfering in my work, I thought that if I told her it was okay, then she wouldn't be worried —You continued, your hands shaking again —, but she just told me that… it had been a long time since the last time we saw each other in person.

Your hand went to cover half of your face, while the other stayed on the table, trying not to move it too much.

—Her voice sounded so soft that I remembered that… —The hand on your face clung to your skin, as if you were holding back your tears —…, it's been like 6 months since the last time I saw them.

He knew that you were bad, that you had a bad week, even how your aunt was bothering you with her calls, but still, he listened to you.

—And well; One thing led to another and I thought that… I was selfish, and that I can't treat a family member of mine like that, you know? —You looked at Raiden, but you just sighed, a little broken due to crying —, although it sounds silly… because both you and the other people here can't even go back to their homes or have a normal life and they're here… But me? I am crying because of this nonsense of mine.

The tears continued to come, as you slowly lost control of your words.

—Sometimes I just want to quit, all these thoughts about my job are too much some days, you know? —You gasp again with some difficulty—. Sometimes I think about everything I saw; You and other people have reached a point of almost no return, and I've seen so many things while pretending to be other people that I thought… Why am I still here? Why can't I stop all this and go back to my mother? Why can't I… go home?

you got up roughly from your seat, the chair going violently backwards, colliding with a giant blackboard.

—I think I'm just… talking stupid things now, I'm sorry, Raiden, —You apologized, exchanging glances with him again —. Sorry if I wasted your time…

One of his hands subtly went to your cheek, passing over one of your tears.

—It's not stupid —He whispers, the pad of his thumb making gentle movements over your skin, —, after all, I've been seeing you a little down for two days. And I don't think thinking about renounce is exactly something light.

Even if his understandable words took you by surprise, you felt the center of your chest warm up, slowly easing the weight.

—I'm sorry… I didn't think I worried you —You whisper, a slight smile on your face.

—Don't worry about it, —He whispered, almost as if he wanted to make sure you were calm.

You kept looking at him, almost as if you were lost in his eyes.

—You could ask for a day off after all this —He mentions, almost casually—, you don't have to make hasty decisions because of those things.

You came to your senses, before continuing to talk to him.

You never thought that someone like him could be so understanding of topics that are so… ordinary. But you were really grateful to find someone who can listen to you without judging you in such a way. He actually spoke to you like one friend to another, as if he knew exactly what to say so you could trust him and vent your thoughts to him.

After a while, you finally felt like that mental fatigue had abandoned you like a South American father abandoned his newborn child.

—Thank you, Raiden —You tell him, at the same time that you felt the edge of your lips curve into a smile—. I really needed to talk to someone.

It was the first time you saw him smile, which made you feel calmer.

—Can I give you a hug? —You ask him kindly, it was common that you didn't know how to interact normally with someone like him.

He only responded by walking closer to you, before gently wrapping his arms around you. He didn't use any force, in fact you just felt his arms collide with your body. He was so gentle that you just rested your head against his chest, both of your hands going to the top of his back.

Even with certain parts of him being cyborg, you felt warm in his embrace. There were no longer traces of sadness in your heart, only a feeling of security running through your soul.

When you both separated, you couldn't help but continue smiling at him. Although unfortunately, due to the hours they were in, he had to leave your office again.

And when you both said goodbye, you gave him another hug, a quicker one since you wanted to go to sleep early. And the moment he closed the door, you began to rearrange your desk a little.

And, while you were doing that, he, outside your office, just lit a cigarette, bringing it to his lips as he walked through the place towards the exit.

His mind was filled with new thoughts; Now that he had gained more of your trust, he could give himself the freedom to greet you or talk to you more normally, unlike before.

The only thing that calmed him down was that no one was coming near you. It wasn't because of him, in fact he was one of the few people who could approach you, without wanting to get away from you as quickly and subtly as possible, that made his job easier.

And, in fact, he is visibly…inclined to like (Name).

He smiled at the new idea he had, before taking another drag of the cigarette, knowing that he was getting closer to the person he loved so much.

Although he wished he could make sure your aunt doesn't bother you so much, it bothers him to hear her voice so many times during the week.

#yandere #obsessive love #yandere x you #yandere male #poppa thoughs #metal gear #metal gear rising #Raiden #Yandere raiden metal gear #metal gear rising x reader

[thewritingofspencerrose]

masterlist

so this ended up a LOT longer than expected...

based on the first race of the 2024 season where Max's lead was... unbelievable at best

enjoy!

"Charlie, please."

"I cant be here when he gets back, Cherie, I-," And I can hear everything he is feeling in this one sigh. "He was more than 20 seconds ahead of me today, ahead of everyone."

"You know thats not-"

"Not what? Not what he meant to do? It's his job to drive, but it's not his job to be ahead of even his teammate by ten seconds and to then go for the fastest lap, for that one point that he won't need to end the season," Charlie just shakes his head, entire body tense and eyes glassy as he pulls the zipper of his suit case.

"Charlie-" I want to cry. This isn't how we wanted to start the season, Charles not even being able to be in the same room as Max. "I'm not going to let you go unless I know you have a plan."

The tears start to fall as I blink, slowly trailing down my cheeks with the same pace of Charles steps towards me, bag dragging along.

"I will go to Jeddah early as planned, but on my own, not on his plane," He explains quietly, pads of his thumbs wiping over my cheeks. "You are welcome to come with me-"

"He would think we left him," I can't help but interrupt, feeling like my heart is tearing. "He can't handle that, he's just getting to a good place."

And he sighs again, because he knows we can't both leave him.

He'd never recover.

"You stay here then, and I will see you in a couple days," He agrees, smiling sadly before leaning in and kissing the tip of my nose. "But I have to go before he gets back."

"Char-"

"Mon ange," He says this time, voice strict and I know for sure now that there is no changing his mind.

"I love you, please text me when you get to the airport," I request, pulling him into my arms and resting my head against his chest before pulling away, staying close as he leans down and presses his lips to my own. "We'll figure this out, just go take your time."

"Je vous aime," He purrs, kissing me one more time before walking towards the door, hand on the handle.

"Charles, you can't leave before I say it back," I remind, tears still streaming but a small smile on both our faces. Pausing for a moment, he just chuckles at my theatrics.

"So?"

"I love you too."

"Schatje? Liefje?" Max's tired voice reaches my ears an hour later, smelling of champagne and having a dopey smile from the joy of the day.

I love when he's like this.

And I hate what my words are about to do to his positive mood.

"Hi my love," I greet with a small smile, having already changed into the hoodie that Lando had gotten me for the boys and my anniversary, split down the center of Redbull and Ferrari.

"Charles in the shower?" Is his question as he leans down to kiss my cheek, "I wanted to check on him, he seemed upset after the race."

Oh God.

"About that," Is how I begin, his hands smoothing down my body and onto my hips, applying just the slightest bit of pressure. "Charlie took an earlier flight. He should be landing in Jeddah soon."

There's the drop of his expression that I didn't want to see.

"What? We were all meant to fly out tomorrow morning on my plane, weren't we? Did something change?"

"He- he's not handling Redbull's performance well," Is the most gentle way I can think to deliver the news, wrapping my arms around his neck, playing with the short pieces of hair at the bottom of his neck.

But he's unwrapping my wrists from his neck, taking a large step back as his entire face freezes over. "He left because he was jealous?"

"He wasn't-"

"You just said that he wasn't handling our performance well. Redbull's. My performance. So he left," Max states, and the usual care that's in his voice when he talks about Charles is gone. While I'm aware it's only momentary, we've been through so much worse for this to be longer than that.

But his eyes are cold, and it's as though I can physically see him withdrawing into himself, into that man the media believes him to be.

Strong. Cold. Unbreakable.

And I can't help but hate it.

This isn't Max, it's the walls he builds.

Fucking Jos Verstappen.

He's moving again before I can even say anything, "Pack up your stuff. Als hij zich als een kind wil gedragen en weg wil rennen, dan zullen we hem als een ouder achtervolgen (if he wants to act as a child and run away, then we will chase him down like a parent)," He grumbles, tossing clothes back into his suitcase.

"I have no idea what you just said, but okay, we can pack up."

"Mamma?" Max can hear her voice, but not see her.

Oh... She's hiding in his plane's bathroom. On the phone. Why?

"Mamma, I don't know how to fix it this time," Her sobs seep through the walls. "I know Max doesn't mean to be so far ahead, but Charles can't handle being torn down by the man he loves for another season. I had just gotten Charlie back up to his confidence before last season."

"Max can't stop from winning, but I can't help Charlie when he needs it. We promised Max we would never leave him and Charles left."

"We're on our way to Charles now. I just can't see watch them fight again, Mamma. My heart can't take it."

All Max can think is one thing.

What are they doing to her?

"Charles, open the door."

My hearts pounding, I should have taken more of my anxiety medication.

Or gotten high.

No... I haven't done that since college.

But I can't take this.

"Charlie," I can feel the lump in my throat as I say his name, "Please."

It takes a few moments, longer than I was hoping and enough for me to worry he may never open the door, before he does, his arms encompassing me before I even get a word out.

"Mon amour," He breathes out, pulling away enough to wipe the tears I hadn't noticed falling, my hands taking hold of his hoodie. Max's hoodie. "Please don't cry."

"Schatje?" Max's voice is soft, his tone as if he's afraid he's going to spook a deer.

Charles body tenses around my own, but he does move us further into the room, allowing Max to enter and close the door, laying our bags to the side.

"Can we please talk?"

"I left early to avoid talking."

"Charlie-"

"Mon -"

"If you two do can not talk this out like to people in a relationship, I'm going to stay with my mother."

That achieves both of their attention.

"Vous êtes quoi? (you're what?)"

"Je bent wat? (you're what?)"

"We shouldn't be in a relationship if we're unable to talk about our issues," I explain as I sit on the end of the bed. "Two and a half years in you would think we'd be better at this," my hands meeting my face.

"Charles," my eyes don't open, but I can hear the desperation which prompts me to peek. And when I do I want to continue my cry from the plane.

Charles has taken a seat on the side of the bed, Max holding his face as he kneels in front of him.

"You know I have no control over the team's differences in abilities. But I do play a part in how you feel. And I do know we both love her, and each other, too much to not talk this through."

"Mad Max Verstappen, are you being emotional?" Charlie questions, earning my full attention.

He's smiling, they both are, and they're both teary eyed.

And I throw myself on top of Charles back, toppling the both of us into Max and onto the floor.

"There's my boys."

#the writing of spencer rose #original character #formula 1 fanfiction #formula 1 #polyamourous #polyamory #lestappen #charles leclerc x oc #max verstappen x oc x charles leclerc #max verstappen x oc #lestappen x oc

[justcourttee]

Dandelions-Prologue

A/N oh hey. it's been a while. care for a Dickinette AU?

Love at first sight always sounded so absurd to me.

An instant connection to someone you just met? The idea is so foolish that it sounds like some excuse a hopeless romantic made up to explain why they’ve never gone on a date before.

‘I just didn’t feel the sparks, you know?’

I, in fact, did not know. Nor did I bother to try and understand it. Love is fickle, the lines so blurry, so thin, that you never know where you’ll land until it’s too late to change your mind, much less your heart.

And while I couldn’t appreciate the concept when applied to relationships in reality, relationships in fiction were a whole other story. Watching two characters reach for the same piece of paper, eyes connecting while the rest of the world fades into the background, only leaving a longing to get to know this person right in front of them? It was something that never got old no matter how much time passed.

Rom-Coms, Shojo Manga, Soulmate AUs, Jane Austin.

From screen to paper, I’m obsessed, so much so that I began to write my own stories. But there’s one thing that’s been holding me back; I’ve never been in love.

Now I know how this sounds. Everyone tries to tell you that it’s not possible to never experience love, that there has to have been some unreachable crush, some first love, some friend that you loved much more than life itself, but I’m sorry to report that none of the above are true. Of course, I care for my brother and my best friends, but loving your friends doesn’t translate to the life-altering, reality-shattering love I want to write about.

I left college years ago, as the ever demanding job field insisted I needed higher education, I opted out for a couple of side jobs, using my free moments to sit in coffee shops and parks, anywhere I could watch love blossom and write down inspiration.

That’s how I met him. Dick Grayson.

Brew-tiful Day is one of my favorite spots to observe. The slightly overpriced coffee, the bumbling crowd of office workers, students, and hopeless romantics, the simple ambiance of it all just made for the perfect spot to write.

I was settling into my usual spot, my laptop booting up when the couch dipped so violently that I almost sent my fresh brew onto the three-day-old shirt I had dug out from the corner of my room. Scrambling to set down my cup, the weight beside me seemed to settle out, almost as if the person was trying to melt into the cushions.

The funny thing about watching romance movies play out is that when two characters unexpectedly sit on the same couch in the same coffee shop at the same time, I melt. When it happens in reality, I feel an intense sensation of existential dread.

The boy beside me must not share the sentiment, because as I go to move, trying to avoid any eye contact that may happen, he lets out the largest sigh humanely possible, so large that the pair of businessmen sitting nearby have resorted to glaring at us. Not him, Us. That’s all it takes for me to find my weight shifting back into the couch cushion. I can feel my brain scrambling at the speed of the words threatening to fall out of my mouth, unable to know where to go from here but desperate to fill the silence between us.

“What’s wrong?” It takes everything I have not to slap my hand over my own mouth. Word vomit. Usually, it’s only an impulsive thought that sits on the tip of my tongue, but not today.

His head lolls over in a manner that reminds me of a cat waking after a long nap, slow and lazy. He doesn’t appear to be appalled that I have spoken to him, but he doesn’t seem eager to spill it all either. If this was a movie-

I can feel the heat radiating off of my cheeks in waves. I just tried to drag this stranger into the rabbit hole of my obsession with love. The embarrassment of trying to recreate the moment that flashed through my head of two main characters having their first interaction together is crushing. For some reason, I feel the need to apologize and quickly.

“I’m sorry-”

“I’m in love with the woman I’m betrothed to.” His body remains frozen, his head still lolled in my direction, his arms still folded over his stomach, but one feature has become distinctly different. His lips have now moved only to find themselves pulled into a thin line that looks borderline painful.

The silence that followed was deafening. His eyes shifted over my face before fixing, sending an involuntary shiver down my spine. Unsettlingly deep blue seemed to stare past where my eyes were on my face, almost like they were looking for something that wasn’t present on the surface.

With a shaky breath, I can feel the words desperate to fill the space and reluctantly I let them.

“Is that a bad thing?”

Typically, this kind of meddling would be unheard of for me. When I go to Brew-tiful Day, it’s to sip mediocre coffee and observe. If someone were to even sit too close to me, I immediately would abandon ship in favor of a new seat or a new coffee shop altogether. Looking back on this day, if someone were to ask me to put into words how I was feeling, sharing a couch with this listless boy with unsettling eyes I don’t think a word existed for it in the English language.

All I knew was that I was inexplicably invested in any and everything he would be willing to tell me. Any and every look he would give me. Any and every sentiment that might follow.

He hums softly as if contemplating my question, but eventually decides it doesn't warrant an answer. Instead, he asks a question of his own, “What’s your name?”

“Marinette. And yours?”

“Dick. Dick Grayson.”

Dick never gave me an explanation. Instead, I watched as he slowly sat up, his spine unfurling one vertebra at a time, feeling as if the world was holding its breath for what came next.

“Marinette is such a long name. Can I call you Mari instead?”

#maribat #dickinette #dandelions au

[wormonastringtheory]

SORRY IVE BEEN GONE THE LAST TWO DAYS HAVE BEEN BUSY FOR ANY REASONS LIST OF UPDATES

-Me and my friends made buttons for Palestine and are doing a fundraiser hopefully for our local Palestinian org which is what I spent last night doing. I spent another couple hours on making more button designs and assets for Palestinian liberation zines and posts/posters/etc. will be posting on here

-the place we were looking into lied on their website about accepting guarantuers so we decided against it

-a friend messaged earlier this week by chance to ask if I was looking for an apartment so when it fell through I messaged them BC turns out they want queer disabled roommates guess what me and mason are. i have lived with her before in a high stress environment (working and staying at summer camp much of summer) so someone who I know is a good fit.

-the place is 759 a month!!! It's a small room but between mason and I it's affordable

-we toured today and sent out first month's rent and are moving in this week

-i find out Wednesday night my friend has an accidental litter of cats and they want them to go to someone they trust!!! And want to give us her for free BC they really trust us and mason already has all the supplies we need because he has a cat already.

-mason and I are officially uhauling despite not being lesbians in the traditional sense. we've known each other for five months and have been dating three but he's been staying at my now old place half of the week ish

-i got into a market to vend this month before rent is due again and a second event with a zine table

-an early childhood education job i applied for has me in the final two candidates and the other one just followed up saying they want references to move on to the next recruitment stage. Both are flexible enough I could still do school part time and could also take both BC one is a supply position that's choose your own schedule based on calls and is a daytime one, and the other is before and after school so morning and evening. no clue if i will get any of them

-my boss who i had basically threatened to quit if he didn't change my role and then borderline ghosts off and on and doesn't pay reliably HAS been starting to offer more shifts but some are too short notice.

[deshaunicus]

Just sharing two of my favorite photos from 2023, but I also really need to just vent a little. The past year was a trying one for me.

There were some positives, for sure, and I've already written about those elsewhere. Today, however, I want to unload some of the more stressful things. I don't plan on going into a ton of detail, but I think I need to say it somewhere because I haven't been in a good place.

Work

The biggest source of stress for me has been losing my job at the end of June. I made a big move and left my finance job of 15 years to work for a non-profit media company in early 2022, and I got laid off about 18 months later. Make no mistake here: I loved that job and all the people I worked with. It was kind of heartbreaking to leave a place that made me feel so welcome. In the time since then, I've applied to a ton of jobs, and I've had only one interview. The interview that I was able to get wasn't even through the traditional application method—I had a friendly rapport with a recruiter and managed to land an interview that went all the way to its final round. Unfortunately, I didn't get that job and it was crushing. The little bit of savings I had has been depleted, and my unemployment ends in a few weeks. Job searching is fundamentally broken and it doesn't appear to be improving.

I've always struggled to get paid photo gigs, and despite what I'd consider to be a solid catalog of work, it has been difficult to consistently get in front of people who can offer paid opportunities. To that point, I had 4 paid concert gigs last year, out of 26 gigs total. I did have a handful of photography gigs that were not live music related, and I'm incredibly grateful for those, because they've helped to keep my rent paid for a little longer. Still, these are only occasional drops of income that aren't sustainable. I don't know what to do, and I'm pretty exhausted.

Relationships

Last year was possibly one of the loneliest years I can remember. Thankfully, my best friendships are still intact and I don't see that changing. However, there were just a lot of transitions that were starting to settle in for me. Most of my friends are married and/or have children, and quite a few of them have moved away too. It doesn't mean the friendships have dissolved—they're just different now and can't be maintained in quite the same way. Unfortunately, I still find myself occasionally revisiting abandoned friendships from years ago and grieving in one way or another—usually by having a flash of anger and then disappointment.

Romantic relationships were nonexistent. In fact, I essentially swore off of dating early in the year after a particularly demoralizing experience. Losing my job, of course, cemented that hiatus for me.

Professional relationships have also struggled. My attempts to nurture new relationships with artists, editors, and creative staff for photo work were fruitless. I did have a couple of people who successfully recommended me for work, but my own personal outreach was unsuccessful.

Outlook

I have made an effort to take the time and look back on the good things that have happened. I don't have selective memory about the good and bad things, but the bad things have been a mess. I don't know how I'll pay rent next month. If I manage to pay that, then the month after that becomes the new major concern, and so on. This is worse than paycheck to paycheck—there are no paychecks.

When friends casually mention things like plans for kids and marriage to me, I no longer confidently believe either of those things are in my future. Instead, I feel unlovable.

My sleep schedule is completely upside down now, and I don't leave my apartment for days at a time. I'm tired, and I would like to have one bit of security back.

On the very, very slim chance that you've reached the end of this, I applaud you. Part of the reason this is here is because I don't think very many people will check.

I hope that whatever 2023 was for you, 2024 ends up being better.

#2023 in review #personal

[amberskyyking]

Disillusioned Chapter 46: Congratulations, New Trigger Unlocked

The best time to confess your damage is obviously right after an almost deadly experience, right?

(TW: Injury treatment, themes of past abuse/fears)

They still hadn’t talked about Luz’s own past. Not since that moment leaving Coruscant when she blurted out her damage and refused to elaborate, but Riyo had been right, she knew it in her gut. He cared about her, he was her friend. She didn’t need to hide it, he wasn’t going to turn his back on her, and hell, she wanted him to know, she just didn’t want to have to say it! He had already proven he would never hurt her, even now, when it would have been so easy to take advantage. It wasn’t lost on her the way he shielded her while they made their escape either, or his concern about her getting enough rest, even ending the sleepovers when he realized she had been sacrificing sleep for his sake. If there was anyone deserving of her trust, it was him.

Besides, he had trusted her, hadn’t she? And when he did, he said something that hit a little too close to home.

I really thought that you would lose faith in me, if you knew…

Luz held the bundle of silky fabrics out in front of her with a frown. She hadn’t lost faith in him, of course she hadn’t. His struggles only made him human, and she didn’t see him as any less worthy or strong or capable… She stuck an arm through what might have been a sleeve but quickly gave up on that. Maybe Nox’s triggers had gotten to him today but so had her own, because that was just their luck, wasn’t it? They had been trapped, he panicked, so had she. She still didn’t think any less of him. She still trusted him. She still had faith in him.

Eventually she gave up on wearing the complicated garment in any normal way and resorted to wrapping the fabrics haphazardly under her arms and around her middle instead. So long as she was covered, it would do for now. She’d be in an oversized t-shirt soon enough anyways, the fancy fabrics weren’t exactly comfortable and they needed sleep.

“Hey Nox, you can come back in,” She called around the corner, and a couple seconds later he appeared.

“I’ll talk through everything I’m doing, okay? This won’t take long,” He said right away, voice brimming with concern as he pulled over the tray of supplies again. “If you need me to stop for any reason just say so and I will.”

“You’re too good to me,” She said a little wryly.

Nox paused his fiddling with the supplies to give her a stern look. “No. This should be the expectation, not something special.”

Well shit.

“And this isn’t going to be pretty, but it isn’t hard to do either. When you’re ready I’m going to start by applying a numbing agent, then cleaning the wound, and flushing it if necessary. Let me know when you’re ready…”

Luz gave him a little nod and let her arms fall to her side. True to his word, Nox kept up a steady narration of what he was doing and why, checking in with her and waiting until she consented before moving on to each next step. The numbing spray only stung for a moment before kicking in, and the rest was easy. She watched carefully, holding her breath as he made quick work of the job, gently wiping it clean and packing it with bacta-soaked gauze before covering the area with a bacta patch. In only a couple of minutes the whole thing was over. He stepped back to give her some space.

“That should do it,” He exhaled, looking relieved as he disposed of the used materials. “You can go change and wash up before you start on mine, if you like.”

“Thanks,” Luz said almost in a daze as she slid off the seat and walked hazily towards her own quarters, thinking hard.

It was her turn to trust him, wasn’t it? He already knew the gist of her issues, but he needed to know the whole thing, and not just to be aware of her triggers. 

She was going to have to do this.

Shit.

Full Chapter (And Story!): Congratulations, New Trigger Unlocked

#clone wars fanfiction #star wars fanfiction #clone troopers deserve better #clone troopers need a hug #star wars oc #clone wars #starwarsficnetwork

[artemiseamoon]

Still stuck on this Decided by Fate finale, sorry to my 1-2 darlings who are waiting 😩. So I’m using my writing time today to flesh out and hopefully finish this oneshot i stared early October. Listing to one of my many vampire playlist is really fueling the fire 🔥 plus it’s rainy and cloudy out. The vibes…( plus a long sneak peak below)

Made some revisions in my draft, not reflected below. It’s coming along nicely. I might be able to share the 1st one shot of the universe soonish.

In three months Ambrosia’s life did a 360, no, screw that, more like a 720. A month ago she was divorced, 20 pounds heavier than she was 2 years ago, living alone, and jobless, minus the trickle of money from her novels.

When that asshole left her, leaving the divorce papers on her writing desk, her world imploded, like that goddamn tower card, and all this just months before her 39th birthday.

Ambrosia’s life wasn’t perfect, and that asshole John was picked for her. She wasn’t even that attracted to him, but everyone kept pushing them together and eventually, after a run of shitty luck in love, she chose the security and familiarity of John, who also made a shit load of money and told her to just write and create, to not worry about working. That alone was the biggest selling point.

Sure she worked, more out of need, you had to in this life. But if she could just focus on writing and creating without a 9-5 ,that was a dream, and being married to boring, semi attractive John gave her access to that dream.

On the outside, John was sweet, the all around good guy type, but he was also a passive aggressive asshole, mediocre in bed, and a whole list of things she just dealt with for the last 12 years because he gave her room to live the life she preferred.

Ambrosia never fell in love with him, the words spoken at the wedding were empty, and the attraction was strongly onsided. John was very into her. She thought of leaving so many times, but dragged her feet. Then 12 years and 5 months in, John divorced her. She was pissed.

Once the settlemnt was over, he left her with a nice sum and the house. But eventually, that money would run out and she had to figure out a plan. At 39, after 11 years of not working in the professional world, trying to figure out next steps was anxiety enducing.

Ambrosia was looking for jobs related to her degrees when she found out about this. It started with a late night search, related to the current books she’s working on. It seemed unreal, an escort service catering to vampires, like a story good enough to read, and that's what led her to look deeper.

A week later, after some shady searches and conversations she was led to a secret website and found out one of the women who works for it, lived in her area. It was a risk, what if the woman was a killer, or a creepy man? But this was too good to stop tracking down. They talked for a couple of weeks, then met in a bookshop, and that conversations changed her life. Though there was a lot the woman couldnt say, she said enough.

Ambrosias curiosity peaked for several reasons. Vampires, of course, and second; a secret fantasy. While she was tucked away in her perfect (on the outside) marriage, she secretly fantacised about sex work, about life as an escort, down to her name, her wardbrode and her clients. It was something she never spoke aloud or intended to act on. She applied on a whim, as a joke, then nearly had a heart attack when she was picked.

In the Immortal Doves, there were three tiers of escorts. The highest level was Vampire Couteasan, they were for feeding and sex. The Mistressess, a level under, were for company and feeding, no sex, unless a vampire paid a heafty price to upgrade his mistress. Third was the Sweets, they were for feeding purposes only, even if a vampire wanted to upgrade, he couldnt and the Immortal Doves took security and the rules, even with vampires, very seriously.

Once a woman applied, she started at the Sweets level and either stayed there, or worked her way up. Some were immediately upgraded to the higher levels if the owners saw potential. Ambrosia was fine with the third level, this was an experiment, she just wanted to see what it would be like and it was sort of comforting to know she didn’t have to sleep with anyone, yet.

But Antonio and Adaris loved her instantly, and she did exceptionally well in all her studies, so they elevated her to Mistress level just a week ago, and tonight would be her first job.

.

The women sat in the larivsh waiting room, music playing in the background and red pillar candles lined the matal place and tables. To the left was a love chair, where Ravana sat. Some of the women in the group have been here before, and talked a little about it in the limo ride over.

As the doors opened, one of the most commanding, alluring, interesting people she’s ever seen walked in. Dark brown skin, bone structure and cheek bones to die for, tall and fit with sleek muscles and dressed in some sort of white draped dress fit for a goddess.

“Madame Kimora, “ Ravana stood and presented the women. “ the 5 Doves as requested, it is an honor.”

Kimora offered a slant nod at her, then sauntered over, her penetrative stare studying each of the womens faces.

“I am Kimora. This is the home I share with my husband. You are guests for a very special occasion, some of you have been here before. For those of you that haven’t, you have been hand selected by a guest tonight, each of you is the ideal treat for one of our vampires, including my husband and I, we will share one of you.

In a minute, I will play a video, pay attention. Follow these rules and this night will be as pleasurable for you as it will be for our vampires. Once the video is over,” she passed all 5, turned, then walked the other way, making direct eye contact with each of them, “you will be led upstairs to bathe, what is in your bath will depend on your vampire’s tastes. Then, you will be led to your dressing room. Afterwards, we will have dinner before tonight's festivities begin. Each of you will have a curated, light three course meal, as requested by your vampire.

When addressing me, you may call me Madame, or Madame Kimora. I prefer They/them over she. Please use it. I will see you shortly, do enjoy the quality clothing, adornments, and perfumes that await you. Not all of you will have makeup or perfumes as your vampire did not desire it so. I have handpicked everything myself to best accentaute all of your features and forms.”

As she left the room, Ravana quickly had all the women on their feet and led the way to the second floor baths where attendants waited. Ambrosia was led to the third bath, in a room mainly lit by candles.

As soon as Ambrosia and her assistant stepped in, they were met with the scent of the most exotic, sensual smelling rose she’s ever smelled, petals of it were littered across the water.

“You will find your soap there, it is the same Rose. In 15 minutes, I will return for you, then lead you to your dressing quarters.”

“Thank you.”

Ambrosia watched the assistant step out, and closed the door. She wondered if they were human or vampire. In her pre-event instructions, she was told what and what not to say and ask, and though she was very curious who her vampire was, she bit her tongue, and kept the question to herself….

#max Phillips #vampire story #Arte writes #fic: first bite #Arte original story #vampire max Phillips #artes moodboards

[lady-wallace]

Whumptober Day 15 - "Breaking the Habit" (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)

More Hearts of Gold for today's @whumptober fic! This is my Bucciarati/OC series. We're going back in time in the series: this one is set very soon after Hearts of Gold, when Bruno and Maria are still newlyweds and Maria hasn't yet figured out that Bruno is very bad at taking care of himself.

~~~~~~~

Prompts Used: Makeshift Bandages, Suppressed Suffering, 'I'm Fine' Fandom: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 5 Character: Bucciarati

~~~~~~~

Read on A03

~~~~~~~~

Bucciarati cringed as he threw the bloody cloths into the trash can of the hotel bathroom before re-applying zippers to his injuries. That would do for now until Giorno returned in a few days and if needed, he would ask him to fix them up. For now Bruno really just wanted to get back home to his wife.

He never used to think anything about being away on missions—they were tiring but part of the job. However, since marrying Maria almost two months ago now, he was less and less eager to leave for extended periods. Which is why he had promised her a night out as soon as he got back, for both of them.

Which…he needed to be leaving soon if they were going to make the reservation he'd had Maria book at their favorite restaurant that night.

He swiftly dressed, cringing slightly at the pull of fabric over the tender skin around the zippers in his side and thigh, then exited the bathroom to find Abbacchio already packed up and ready.

"Ready?" Bruno asked him.

Abbacchio glanced over, giving him a once over. "You good?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you didn't let me look at those injuries you got in the fight last night," Abbacchio said.

"There was no need to, they weren't serious," Bruno assured him, forcing himself to not limp as he went to grab his bag. Painful, maybe, but pain would hardly kill him. "Come on, I'm not going to miss taking my lovely wife out to dinner tonight."

"Don't worry, I was tasked with bringing you back specifically on time," Abbacchio said with a fond smile.

Bruno huffed a laugh. Honestly, the constant conspiring that went on between Leone and Maria behind his back was ridiculous. They were a force to be reckoned with.

"Then we'd best get going."

It was a couple hours' drive back to Napoli from the location of their mission and Bruno took that time to rest, trying to ignore how the seatbelt rubbed against the wound in his side. There'd been more opponents at the raid last night than he had suspected, and one man had come at him with a knife, slashing him a couple times before Bruno had taken him down with Sticky Fingers. He hadn't had time to deal with the injuries at the time, simply using his tried and true method of applying zippers to close them up as they cleaned up the rest of the operation.

He put a pair of sunglasses on and tilted his head back, trying to sleep. Clean-up had taken them until early afternoon, so neither of them had slept for over 24 hours now—going on 36. Bruno was feeling it more than he wanted to admit. He hoped he wouldn't look absolutely awful by the time he got to dinner.

He dozed fitfully, body warm and uncomfortable under the afternoon sun streaming into the car.

As they finally got back to Napoli, Bruno gave up trying to sleep, rubbing his head as he checked the time.

"It's gonna be a little tight," Abbacchio apologized.

"I still have to change too," Bruno said, and pulled out his phone. "I'll just call Maria and tell her to head over to the restaurant to meet the reservation time."

He blinked back the exhaustion, rubbing at his slightly swollen eyes as he dialed Maria's number.

"Hello?" her voice came over the line.

"Hello, my love. I might be a little late, so why don't you go on ahead and I'll meet you at the restaurant when I get back?"

"Oh, that's fine, but, Bruno, if you're too tired tonight, we can go some other time."

"No," he insisted. "A night out with you is exactly what I need right now."

"Well, I'll see you there then," she replied, a smile in her voice.

"See you soon, mi cara."

He tucked his phone back into his pocket and glanced at his watch again.

"Are you sure you're up for this? You look exhausted," Abbacchio asked.

"I am," Bruno admitted. "But a relaxing night out is a perfect remedy."

Abbacchio shrugged. "You do have a point. It's probably going to be chaos at home, especially with Giorno and Fugo also out of town."

Bruno chuckled. "That's your problem tonight, amico."

"Thanks," Abbacchio muttered.

Bruno leaned back in his seat, suppressing a sigh.

His body felt like a lead weight when they finally got back to the mansion and he dragged himself out of the car.

After the initial greetings from Trish, Narancia and Mista, he hurried to change into a clean suit before heading out.

He'd thankfully been able to shower at the hotel so it was mostly a matter of fixing his hair and changing into his black date-night suit.

His muscles protested even the small movement of taking his shirt off, an uncomfortable tug on the zippered wound in his side. Bruno prodded the area lightly, gritting his teeth against the pain. The skin around it felt slightly warm and looked red and irritated.

He didn't have time to worry about it, though, and took some pills as he buttoned his shirt up, pulled on his trousers and coat and headed out the door.

"Have a good time, Bucciarati!" Trish called to him.

He smiled and thanked her as he grabbed his keys and headed out.

XXX

Maria started with a glass of wine as she waited for Bruno, eager to see him again. He'd only been gone with Leone for four days, but she had missed him, especially with the addition of him going into a dangerous situation. She knew she would have to get used to it, but it still kept her up at night, alone in their big bed.

But soon enough, she spotted her husband coming toward her table with a soft smile on his face.

"There you are!" Maria called, standing up to allow him to pull her into his arms, with a chaste kiss to her lips.

"I'm sorry I'm a little late, but I didn't want to come in work clothes," he grimaced.

Maria got a good look at him finally, holding him at arm's length. There were definite dark circles under his eyes, but he also just looked a little wan and pale in general.

She reached up to touch his warm cheek with concern. "Bruno, are you sure you're all right? You look a little…well."

He shifted so he could kiss her hand with a smile. "I am a bit tired, but I'm happy to be back. A nice relaxing dinner will be much appreciated."

Maria smiled, though there was still a furrow between her brows as she led Bruno back to the table and they sat. The waiter came over, offering more wine and taking their orders.

All the while, Maria was watching her husband, trying not to show too much concern outwardly, but he did really look a little rough, slumping in his chair, his brow pinched slightly. She would make sure to put him to bed early once they got back.

Once they had finished dinner, Bruno suggested a walk in the park nearby. "There's a gelato stand as well—we can get dessert."

"Are you sure you don't want to go home?" Maria asked, trying not to sound worried. "I know you're tired."

He waved her concern away. "I'd rather get some fresh air," he told her with a smile, reaching for her hand. "Come on—tell me what went on while I was away."

Maria took his hand and talked as they walked toward the park. Bruno felt rather warm beside her, but she had been slightly chilly in the restaurant and didn't think much of it.

When a jogger nearly ran into her, Maria was forced to bump into Bruno to avoid being hit, and was surprised when he staggered slightly, a small gasp escaping his throat.

"That was rather rude," she muttered before looking up at her husband, seeing his face had gone pale and there was sweat beading on his brow. "Bruno? Are you okay?"

"I—yes," he replied, forcing a tight smile. "I just—maybe I am a little more tired than I thought."

She took both his hands in hers firmly. "How about you sit here and I'll go pick up a pint of gelato that we can take home and eat in bed?" she suggested with a fond smile.

Bruno chuckled and bent to kiss her. "Well, I can't really argue with that."

"Oh, Bucciarati!"

An older woman who ran a flower stand called to him and he and Maria looked over.

"Ah, Signora Galini!" Bruno greeted with a tired smile, squeezing Maria's hand before letting it go. "Let me go see if she needs anything. Pick out whatever flavor you'd like—you know I like all of them."

Maria smiled and cast a fond glance back as the old woman asked Bruno to help her load her stand into the small trailer attached to her vespa.

She hurried to go get the gelato, picking out a rich chocolate mocha flavor, before returning to see Bruno finishing up and waving to the old woman as she drove away.

His face as he turned around though was crumpled in pain, one hand going up to press to his side. Maria hesitated, watching as Bruno reached for the back of the bench, going to lean on it.

His hand missed and he stumbled, legs seeming to give out under him.

"Bruno?!" Maria cried and pushed herself into a run, collapsing beside him, not caring about the grass stains on her dress. His head lolled and she took his face between her hands forcing his chin up to look at her.

"Just…need a second," he murmured.

Maria looked down where he was still pressing a hand to his side. She opened his coat and pulled it aside.

From the light of a streetlamp she could see a patch of red against his white shirt.

"You're hurt!" she gasped. "Bruno, why didn't you tell me you'd been injured!"

"It really wasn't that bad," he sighed tiredly. "I'm sorry to alarm you, lifting the stand pulled at the injury and I think that made me a little woozy."

Maria pressed her hand to his cheek again. "But you're fevered! The wound could be infected."

She was already pulling the phone from her purse and dialing as she wrapped her arm around her husband, bringing his head to rest on her shoulder.

"Leone," she said shakily as the phone was answered wearily. "Could you please come pick us up from the park?"

"I can get back to the car," Bruno protested before Maria shushed him.

"What's wrong?" Leone asked.

"Bruno's hurt," she said sternly. "Please—the park by the restaurant."

There was a quick confirmation and the call cut out. Maria tucked the phone away and pulled one of Bruno's arms around her shoulders. "Come on, you can sit on the bench which we wait."

He cringed as he forced himself up, right leg shaky as he sank down onto the bench. She practically forced him to lay down with his head in her lap but once he was there he sagged tiredly, eyes closed as she ran her fingers soothingly across his brow, stroking his hair.

"Is that the only injury?" she asked suspiciously.

"That and my leg," Bruno said tiredly.

"Bruno!" Maria scolded, a lump forming in her throat. He reached up to take her free hand.

"I'm sorry, mi amore," he told her sincerely. "I should have said something."

"Yes, you should have," she replied shakily, hurt and fear clashing inside of her.

Headlights illuminated the area and a car came to a quick stop on the side of the road.

Leone got out and hurried over to the bench.

"Maria," he called, stopping as he saw Bruno laying in her lap. He huffed a sigh, reaching down to help Maria heave her husband up. "Bruno, I asked you if you were hurt."

"Yes, yes," Bruno muttered, cringing as they pulled him up between them.

Leone swore and Maria pressed her lips together. They got Bruno into the backseat and then headed back to the house.

"I think he might have an infection since he's running a fever," Maria said worriedly.

Leone glanced back at the injured man. "Did you just zipper yourself shut again?"

"I didn't really have that much of a choice, Leone, we were in the middle of a fight."

"Yes, and we had plenty of time to take care of them properly this morning when we got back from the job," Leone replied in exasperation, shaking his head.

Bruno was silent, slumped against the seat as they drove.

Once they got back to the house, Maria and Leone helped Bruno upstairs to their room and left him sitting on the bench in the bathroom.

"Help me find the medical supplies," Maria said to Leone as they left the room.

Once they were downstairs, Maria grabbed Leone's arm and glowered at him. "I can't believe you didn't try to discourage him from going out tonight if you knew he was injured! You should have let me know, Leone!"

"You're right, I should have told you," he admitted. "But I honestly didn't know how bad it was—the only time he ever lets me look at injuries if he's still standing is when I actually see them happen. I know that's not an excuse but—you're not alone in your frustrations."

Maria's eyes welled and Leone's face softened again, taking hold of her hand and squeezing it. "You know he's just like this. I'm hoping that you might change that in him."

"Well, apparently not," Maria sniffled, reaching up to wipe her eyes.

Leone pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head. "I think he'll start to see reason once he realizes how upset you are. But let's go take care of the idiot, okay? I think we still have some antibiotics around here somewhere."

They gathered what they would need and returned to Bruno who was struggling to undress, taking his trousers off with one hand while he steadied himself with the other.

"Here," Maria said quickly and went to help him, revealing another reddened injury on his thigh. She sat him back down and eased his shirt off. The sight of his old scars sent a different emotion through her than usual. Maybe he did have a point in these injuries being relatively minor when he had suffered such grievous ones in the past.

"Undo the zippers," Leone said.

Bruno sighed and waved his hand briefly. Maria watched as the wounds parted slightly and began to bleed sluggishly again.

"They do look infected," Leone said darkly. "We'll have to flush them out."

Maria nodded stoically, lips pressed together, as they helped Bruno to sit in the tub. He lay back wearily, wincing and making small sounds of pain every once in a while as they washed the wounds out with a saline solution.

"Is that all?" Maria asked as they finished.

Leone probed the wound in Bruno's side, maybe a little more harshly than he would have normally, causing the other man to tense. "There doesn't seem to be any puss yet, so, it should be fine with an antibacterial cream and the antibiotics."

Maria nodded, dabbing the wounds dry with a swatch of gauze.

Bruno was silent as they bandaged him up and helped him to bed. Maria brought him a glass of water and the pills.

"Please take them," she coaxed.

Bruno did as he was asked. Maria took the glass and sank down next to him tiredly as Leone cleaned up the medical supplies.

"Maria," Bruno finally said, reaching for her hand. "I'm truly sorry for scaring you."

"It's not about scaring me, Bruno!" she snapped, feeling the lump form in her throat again. "Don't you get it? I know your job is dangerous, I knew that from the beginning—it's not that I don't expect you to get hurt on occasion. I know it's just an inevitability of our lives." She sighed, shoving her hair back. "What I'm mad about is that you think you need to hide your pain, and you don't. Don't you think I would have been just as happy cuddling and watching a movie with you tonight while you recovered instead of forcing yourself to go out while you were obviously not well?"

Bruno looked chastised, eyes falling to his hands as his lashes brushed fever-flushed cheeks. "You're right. I know it's something I need to work on. You understand, when I started down this path in this life, I had no one. I had to be strong constantly, otherwise I would risk letting myself break under the pressure. It made me admittedly rather negligent toward my own care so that, even when I had people I could count on, I kept some very bad habits." He looked up at her again, reaching up to brush his fingers across her cheek. "But I'm not alone anymore, and I should remember that more often."

"Yes," Maria pleaded, placing her hand over his and holding it to her cheek. "Please remember that you have a wife at home, and a family who loves you."

Leone finished up in the bathroom and speared him with a look as he carried the first aid kit out. "Listen to her, Bruno. For the love of god, change your ways for her if not for the rest of us."

Bruno sighed tiredly as Maria tucked him into bed. "I'm going to clean up." She offered a tentative smile. "If you want, the gelato is a little melted, but I'm sure it's still good."

Bruno smiled back softly and nodded. "That sounds good, amore."

Maria hurriedly went to change into her pajamas and wash her face. She detoured to the kitchen to grab the gelato before one of the kids could find it and hurried back upstairs to her injured husband.

She crawled into bed beside him, producing two spoons and the pint of dessert. "Are you comfortable, darling?" she asked, leaning over to kiss his forehead.

"As comfortable as possible," he said truthfully. "I'm rather sore."

"Well, chocolate helps," Maria smiled, before she leaned over him. "And so does kissing it better."

She pressed her lips to his and Bruno reached up to cradle the back of her head, holding her close for a few long minutes as their mouths worked against each other.

When Maria finally pulled away, she met his love-blown eyes and said, "Remember that the next time you go on a dangerous mission and promise me you'll come home safe."

Bruno slid his hand down her cheek and brushed his thumb across her cheekbone. "I promise I will."

Maria, satisfied, tucked herself against his side and they both dug into the gelato.

When it was finished, Bruno could barely keep his eyes open another second and Maria kissed his cheek and folded the blankets more firmly over them both as she pulled his head in under her chin. He gave a soft sigh, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her shoulder.

"Thank you, my love," he whispered.

Maria kissed his head and played with his hair until he fell asleep. "Sleep well, darling. I'll look after you tonight."

#whumptober2023 #no.15 #makeshift bandages #suppressed suffering #i'm fine #jojo's bizarre adventure #fanfic #amature first aid #zippers #Bruno Bucciarati/OC #established relationship #cuddling #bruno bucciarati whump #leone abbacchio #maria gallo #hearts of gold

[buffintruder]

I’m making up an end of year fic writing ask thing because why not, all these answers apply to the past year

Most Popular fic

what if the real steel samurai fandom was the friends we made along the way by a long shot in every single measure. I did not expect this to be so popular

Favorite fic

To Turn the World Upside Down, my ace attorney au where Phoenix’s family is ‘blessed’ by a trickster god. Honestly I think it ranks among the best things I’ve written? I’m still in the middle of posting it, but I just think I do a good job with descriptions and character interactions and character growth in this one

Most unexpected fic

This is a tie between two Kamen Rider fics:

Endless Futures Ahead because it’s a Gou/Chase fic and I started writing this (in 2021 actually but whatever) before I’d even seen a full Kamen Rider series. I knew this show was going to suck me in if I ever started watching it (and it did), but I did not think I would write 20k+ words about characters in a show I had only seen a handful of episodes about

Across the River of Stars. I read the Blade novel, sat on it for like a week, particularly the ending where Kenzaki and Hajime agree to meet one night a year (just like the cowherd and weaver of myth, i thought!), and then out of nowhere I wrote 2k words at work about them meeting once a year in modern times. I started it about exactly a month ago and posted it today, so I think this is also the fic I’ve finished the quickest this year (that or my other Blade fic, idk how long that one took to write)

Fics for next year:

The next one I will post is a toss up between:

-the as of yet unnamed sequel to my steel samurai fic. this is 50% Klavier during aa4 having the Worst Year of His Life and 50% Klavier being heart eyes over Apollo, as seen through his unofficial social media (right now about 5k long, i’ve gotten past aa4-4 and the immediate aftermath, i just need to figure out where i want this to end, go over it a couple times, and then do all the formatting)

-The Future Where All Sorrows End (title subject to change) my Kamen Rider Blade soul nemesis au where Kenzaki and Hajime know that they are fated to be each other’s undoing from the moment they meet (right now somewhere in the 50-60k range. i need to finish the last scene, decide if i want to add a post-canon scene where Kenzaki hangs out with Kotaro and Hirose, and then do a bunch of editing but a lot of that i’ll do after i start posting chapters)

The next fic I plan to start writing:

Honestly probably a Kamen Rider W fic. I’m not entirely sure where I’m going with this premise, but I’ve had the rough idea in my head for 6ish months now and watching Fuuto PI + rewatching W with my brother is giving me feels. The basic premise is that instead of Gaia memories, it’s ghosts. Akiko shows up at the PI agency one day and is like “guys your business model sucks, we’re making a ghost investigating youtube channel as well as being private investigators”. Philip is the camera man never on screen but often making snarky comments from the background. The fic alternates between Wakana’s pov who is like ‘what is up with these youtubers that keep referencing my radio show’ and Philip who is like ‘i’m weirdly obsessed with this radio host but i don’t think it’s in a romantic way’. And then they start talking like in canon but no one dies and everything ends happily :) including for Kirihiko

Tagging @arofili @gallus-rising @queerfandommiscellany @moth-time and anyone else who wants to do this, my internet is wonky so i can’t see who follows me and i don’t have a good memory. Also feel free to change the questions if you want, I came up with these just now while sleepy

#my writing

[kirstenlinae]

Trying to shift

I attended a Zoom OA meeting today. I wanted to join one at 9am and then again at 9:30am but, the passcodes for the meetings wouldn't work for me on my zoom account for some reason. Then there were a couple of meetings that just didn't start at all, I waited like 10 minutes past the meeting time for both and no host came in to start them. Very frustrating. However, I did find one that I like and I will try to make it a habit to go to again on Wednesday mornings at 10. It was a small meeting, only 6 of us. All the ladies were older than me, most of them much older. That doesn't matter to me, though. I figure, the older the members are, the more wisdom that they have to share. In the beginning of the meeting we talked about tools for recovery and today's assigned tool was the eating/meal plan. It seemed like this particular meeting didn't assign itself to any strict regimen as far as a meal plan goes, everyone had a different definition of their own eating plan. I was asked to share and I did a couple of times where it was relevant. Everyone posted their phone number in the chat, including me. I haven't received any texts just yet but, one of the members I talked with after the meeting had invited me to speak at another meeting that is on Friday nights, about my sobriety from drugs and alcohol. I told her that I couldn't this week because I work second shift on Fridays usually but, I could request off for a Friday in the future and call in to this particular meeting. It felt good to have my sobriety recognized so quickly, even though I'm technically still struggling from an addiction (food). Before we parted ways, she said, "I hope your food brings you peace today." I appreciate that sentiment. I only have a little bit of anxiety from what I ate for "breakfast," however, I have a plan for the rest of the day and I am confident that I can stick to it.

I would like to try one OA zoom meeting a day for a little while. Find a few that I would like to attend regularly. As I mentioned in a previous post, there are couple that are pretty local to me but, they are held during the days/times that I usually work, also. So, unless my schedule changes or I request off, the in-person meetings are not conducive to my regular work schedule.

I have been thinking about discussing a few things with my dietician at our next appointment. I could call her but, I want to wait to see how the next month goes and I want to see what the psychologist says regarding my evaluation for surgery. If the psychologist is good at her job, she will see what I already know. I don't know that I am ready for surgery so quickly. I think I would benefit from a longer monitored diet regimen, some more OA under my belt, and some more food addiction-related therapy as well. I also think it would benefit me to make my own diet plan, tailored to the one I am already on for surgery. I think I need to make more concrete plans/goals for myself because right now, that concept seems foggy to me.

In other news, my interview for that full-time job got rescheduled to next Tuesday. Pretty annoying but, I worked for that company before and honestly, it doesn't surprise me. Since applying for that job, however, I have been thinking twice about going back to work full-time. For one, my biggest housekeeping client said that she is referring me to one of her friends so, I could potentially get another house in my schedule. Second, in order to make moving to full-time even worth it (meaning, quit housekeeping and working part-time), I would have to make at least like $18/hour and I know that place isn't going to pay me near that. I would be surprised if they did, let's just say that. Lastly, I need the flexibility of working part-time because of my myriad of doctor's appointments, my responsibility to take my boyfriend to work every day on second shift and my housekeeping clients that I've made a commitment too. Plus, my small business is growing...which is what I set out to do 6/7 months ago, anyway. I think I would like to work somewhere other than the hotel, though. This morning, I applied to two different Torrids that are kind of close to me. We'll see if anything happens with that, I guess.

That's all I've got for today. I have to get ready for work in a bit. Until next time <3

#journal #personal #OA #overeaters anonymous #gastric bypass #gastric surgery #bariatricsupport #food addiction #bariatric surgery

[kratomkittycat]

“He looked extremely uncomfortable the whole time” Journal entry, 7/28/2022

Today I went to the local vape shop to buy my kratom extracts. The guy I’ve been crushing on (Deepak) was working there, along with another worker (Bob), and a woman I’ve never seen before who was eating a meal. I asked them about the Zazas, and they just made it so complicated. They acted like they didn’t know how to email M&J Distribution, when their email address was literally right where I showed them it was. So I don’t think I’ll be getting Zaza ever again.

I have been unemployed since my internship ended in June. My money will be gone in a couple weeks if I don’t get a new job (because of my extract habit). No money means no kratom. So I asked Deepak if the vape shop is hiring, and handed him my updated resume and letter of recommendation from the boss at my internship.

“We don’t need new workers right now. Why do you want to work here if you studied biotech? Why don’t you just get a job in a lab?,” said Deepak. I told him that I’ve been applying and interviewing with places, but they all either said no or nothing at all. Deepak said, “Have you tried talking to a recruiter?” I said yes. During the entire conversation, Deepak looked extremely uncomfortable. He then said that I should work in a lab and not at a store, because then I’ll make more money. I then said that I am running out of money and need any job, and asked if he wants to keep the resume and letter of recommendation just in case anything changes. He said yes, and that he will let me know if he finds anything.

I then filled my arms with 11 kratom extract bottles/packets and went to the register to pay. I started counting how many days worth of kratom I had. I said, “The MIT 45 ones usually last me 2 doses.” He said, “then you should buy more of those rather than the other ones, you’ll save money.” So I put back 2 extract packets and replaced them with another MIT 45 bottle.

As I was paying the $174 all that extract cost me, Deepak asked, “Do you spend most of your money on kratom?” I said yes. He said something along the lines of “control yourself.”

Then, I said, “remember last time I came, I told you that my friend blocked me and you asked if he was my boyfriend?” Deepak said “Yeah, I remember he was your best friend.” I asked, “Do you have a wife or girlfriend?” Deepak said, “Yes, a wife.” I said, “Oh, ok.” He still looked extremely uncomfortable. Then, he asked, “So the guy never talked to you again?” And I said, “No he still has me blocked. A lot of people have done that to me. People are mean.”

Then, I took my bag of extracts and said, “bye, see you next time.” Deepak said bye, still looking uncomfortable.

#special interest #kratom extract #kratom #getting high #high #info dump #infodump #drug blog #actually autistic #autistic adult #actually neurodiverse #love #story time #short story #i have a crush #crushin hard #drug addiction #vape store #biotech #biotechnology #science #lab technician #unemployment #zaza #tianeptine #tianaa #socially acceptable #awkward