#but if I didn’t know about cat behavior I’d be like ???

[rekikiri]

andrew secretly gives king and sir lots of forehead kisses, and now they both headbutt Neil in the face expecting kisses and Neil has no idea why. Andrew, why are our cats constantly hitting me in my mouth with their heads?

#he only find out when he comes home and sees andrew giving king little forehead kisses while she meows happily #sir is standing beside her patiently waiting her turn #inspired by my cat milo #I have given him so many forehead kisses that he now bonks my mouth with his head #it makes my heart melt #but if I didn’t know about cat behavior I’d be like ??? #aftg #neil josten #andrew minyard #all for the game #andreil #sir fat cat mccatterson #king fluffkins

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Not That Kind of Guy

Part Nine: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series

Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, sexual content/fantasizing, pervy behavior, panty/scent kink, mask kink (Ghostface), gaslighting/manipulation, nude vids/pics, rape mentioned (somnophilia), gen. sexual content, Panic/Anxiety Attack, forced nudity [Be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]

Info: Anakin/Ghost having thoughts?? Unselfish ones?? Luke can’t stop roasting/sassing you [diary entries from Ani] [texting/letters/notes]extremely not proofread. MDNI 18+

Diary Entry: August 10th

I think enough time has passed. I think you’re ready to see Ghost again.

I thought it would take longer for you to recover, but as always, the little fawn in you is curious as ever. Quick to forget fear and ready for the newest challenge.

You’ve responded so well to everything. I’m very proud of you.

I’ve been keeping up with my visits, still cleaning, still watching, still following and protecting.

Now that you know of Ghost, I’ve started completing my tasks. I don’t have to leave anything halfway finished, the dishes are done everyday along with the vacuuming and dusting. I even mop twice a week.

And change the cat litter, which might I add, is disgusting. (Worth it though because I love that little menace.)

I thought for sure you’d run and tell me that you didn’t think the alarms I installed weren’t working, but you didn’t, you just repeatedly tested them yourself. It was very loud, very annoying and I know you could hear the woman down the hall banging her pots and pans together to fight back with her own noise. You didn’t care though, you just wanted to make sure the alarms worked.

They do work, I wouldn’t have installed fake ones, that would be stupid. I’m all for keeping you safe so… what’s one more safety measure?

I just know that they can also be very easily disarmed. Even through the inch and a half thick wooden door to your apartment. A piece of sheet metal (credit card sized) and my handy dandy super strength magnet works like a charm.

You’re such an odd bird. You haven’t told anyone, I don’t think it’s really even crossed your mind too much either. You’ve begun to pretend the cameras aren’t even there. You just go about your normal day to day life and occasionally squint and stare at random objects.

You never actually go check them out though. Is it all for show? I think it might be.

I think you like being watched. I bet it makes you feel safe doesn’t it? Knowing I’m always there for you?

——————————————————————————

You know what the best part of all this is?

Ghost will let me love you in the way that is natural and normal to me. I just hope that you’ll be willing to accept that we are one in the same.

Ghost can comfortably do all the things that I’ve been afraid to. I didn’t want to scare you, but it really was difficult not to leave you things. I’m so glad that you brought that up in your list of questions because it gave me the opportunity to act on it without you flipping out.

Do you like them? I love leaving things for you. Especially little notes.

Ghost has been kind enough to stay out of your way when I’m around, but I can resist making you squirm occasionally. Remember when I left you a note, KNOWING I’d be coming home with you later that day?

Oh babe. It was so oddly intoxicating to see the way you reacted when I got back home and pulled up the footage. You snatched up that slip of paper didn’t read it and didn’t toss it in the trash, didn’t put it in your pocket.

You shoved it in your mouth so I wouldn’t see it. Freak.

I saw it all chewed up and gross in the bathroom trash. You didn’t read it. I know you didn’t. So I’ll have to get alittle more creative.

Don’t ignore me.

DATE

August 13th

For the third morning in a row you woke up to a text from your own cellphone number.

‘Sleep well deer?’

Idiot. Can’t even spell. So finally on this third day, you sent a text back and corrected him.

‘Dear*’

Immediately a response buzzed through.

‘No.’

No? What does he mean no?

‘Little doe. My deer. 🦌’

Oh great, so stalkers use emojis and he’s given you a nickname. How cute.

You laid back in your bed and tossed your phone aside, hands covering your face as you rubbed the sleep away.

The longer this went on, the more insane you felt. This wasn’t normal, of course it’s not normal. So why are you allowing it?

You could ask yourself that a million times and you’d never find an answer.

You could throw away every flower he brought you and they’d still keep coming. You could burn every piece of paper in the city and chew every pen until it’s broken beyond repair and he would still find a way to write you a note.

You could swallow every word he writes, throw it up, flush it, whatever. It’s just going to pop back up. Gross and soggy with an amendment attached and in your panty drawer.

You thought maybe it was an important one. So you read it. Quickly discovered it was semi-important, Ghost just wanted to remind you that he loved you and he was proud of you for continuing to drink your tea even though you knew it was drugged. Once you’re out of it, he’s going to set the pills out next to your birth control. So he ‘doesn’t have to fool with measurements anymore’.

The addendum to the note was tucked inside the original:

‘Good girls swallow.’

You could ignore the trinkets, the jewelry or the pretty stones and shells. But he would just move them to a different spot and force you to eventually set it in your jewelry box along with all the others.

He’s not been bold enough to come around with Anakin in your home. The nights that Anakin sleeps over, there are no gifts, no cleaning done. No disturbances.

But Anakin doesn’t deter him completely.

He’s left you one note at Anakin’s apartment, the first time you’d slept away from your own home in ages. Ghost had the audacity to slip a note into the pocket of your shorts while you slept in the same bed as Anakin in his apartment.

It didn’t say anything, no words, just a heart in red ink. Like he just wanted to remind you that he was there and you were his whether you wanted to be or not. Anakin or no Anakin, Ghost didn’t care.

It’s been horrible lying… omitting the truth to Anakin. Sometimes you feel like blurting it out, but something always stops you. Morbid curiosity maybe. Or maybe you just like the thrill of it, that little shiver of adrenaline you get every time he makes himself known.

It would all stop if you told Anakin. Neither would quit until he’d hunted the other man down and gotten rid of him.

They’d kill each other.

——————————————————————————

Anakin worked tonight, so you had plans to meet up with Luke (sans his pet leech) for a late evening dinner. As much as you loved Han and appreciated everything he did for Luke, how happy he made him, you really just wanted some time alone with your best friend.

So you were thrilled to receive a text around 1:00pm from Luke:

‘Don’t be late. I’m dying to catch up babe.’

You quickly opened the message but before you finished typing, a voice message popped up in your notifications, sent from your number.

You abandoned the chat with Luke and opted to open the voice message instead.

‘I’m coming home.’ then a long pause, ‘have fun with Lukey.’

That scratchy filtered voice; you’d yet to hear it over the phone and this being the first time… it sent you right back to the very first time you watched Scream. That icy chill that snuck up the back of your neck, the tightening of your chest… you felt it now, just not because of fear.

You felt it because you were excited.

——————————————————————————

“Okay, seriously what do you keep looking at?” Luke prodded, snatching your phone and sliding it into his jacket pocket.

“Nothing it’s just-“

“My phone is on ‘do no disturb’, because I have missed my buddy, my pal, my best friend.” He paused, his pointer finger jabbing the table between your plate and his.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “I haven’t even unlocked it! It’s just sitting there.”

“True, but the obnoxious tapping to check whatever it is you’re hoping for is getting annoying.” Honesty, brutal or not, was Luke’s love language.

“Fine. I’m sorry, I’ll put it in my pocket.” You agreed, holding your hand out palm up.

“No ma’am. This is mine until the check comes.” His answer was definitive, no room for argument there. “What’s so important anyway? I know Anakin is at work.”

“It’s just work stuff.” You huffed.

“Oh? What’s so pressing at the diner?” He scoffed, “got a big shipment of ketchup coming in? Are you ‘on call’?”

“Luke.” You rolled your eyes at his jab. “No and yes. I am ‘on call’ actually. Sara’s son has been sick.’

Not a total lie, he has been sick. Poor guy. But her husband was home with him and he was being well looked after.

“Okay? That’s your problem how?”

“God you’re so negative sometimes.” You sighed. “Her babysitter hates vomit. If he throws up Sara will have to go home.”

“Ew.” He scrunched up his nose. “I’m eating.”

“Okay? That’s my problem how?” You said mockingly.

“Really? Like for real that’s why you keep checking your phone?”

“Yes really.” Giving him a look that screamed duh’. “Her baby sitter is the 14 year old girl that lives next door to her. Do you really suggest leaving a 14 year old in charge of a vomiting 2 year old? When that 14 year old is disgusted by puke? That’s a recipe for disaster.”

It would be a disaster, her sitter is 14. She just happens to be on vacation with her mother right now. Hence the temporary stay at home husband.

“Okay, first of all, 14? Isn’t that alittle young?”

“No? I started babysitting when I was 12.” You shrugged.

“Fine.” Luke sighed. “Here.”

He slid your phone back to you and propped his chin up on his fist. Watching you check it one last time before turning on the sound and putting it in your back pocket.

——————————————————————————

‘I’m walking home now!’

You shot off the text to Anakin after saying your goodbye to Luke at the restaurant. You’d refused his offer to walk you home, you didn’t want him anywhere near your apartment building knowing that Ghost would be there.

Six minutes later he replied:

‘Good girl.🥰 let me know when you get there safe.’

‘Will do💕’

And you did, the moment you stood outside your apartment door.

‘Made it! See you tomorrow💕’

You waited in the hall to receive his response. You didn’t know what would be waiting for you on the other side of this door, and you didn’t want to chance it.

‘Perfect. Sweet dreams doll!’

Your hand poised at the door knob, you inserted your key to discover your door was already unlocked. You very slowly opened the door, but saw no one in your kitchen or living room.

But your bedroom door was closed, boogie hadn’t meowed as loudly as possible and sprinted to you, demanding to be fed. He did say that they were good friends. So they both must be in your room.

Would it be wise to lock your door? The few precious seconds leaving it unlocked would save if you needed to run… no, no. Just lock it. Doorknob. Deadbolt. Chain.

‘Just stay calm’

You kicked off your shoes and tossed your bag to the floor, walking quietly across the carpeted living room to pause in front of your bedroom. A soft yellow glow shone beneath the door, your lamp must be on. You could hear your tv playing something, not quite sure what it was, but it had the all too familiar cadence of a horror flick.

The audacity of this man astounded you.

When you pushed open the door, he was laying in your bed, shoes off, legs crossed at the ankles, propped against the headboard, arms behind his head. He looked like he belonged there. As big a contrast as it was… your soft, pink, feminine room and him. All black, the mask. He just looked so comfortable.

Your cat, the little traitor, was curled up on his chest. It was kind of sweet. How could such an inherently terrifying scenario seem so normal?

Ever so casually he tilted his head toward you, his right hand raising from its relaxed position to lazily give you gloved finger waggle for a wave.

“Have fun?” The filtered voice drifted over to you.

“Yes.” You answered quietly, glued to the spot.

“Are you just going to stand there?” He laughed. “I would come pick you up, but it’s illegal to move a sleeping cat.” He gestured to boogie who had still not moved from her human pillow.

You couldn’t help but laugh, eyebrows raised in an expression of awe filled shock. This was too weird. Too normal. Too scarily alluring.

Yet you found yourself at the edge of the bed, not really knowing how you got there to begin with.

“Sat you some pajamas out.” He said dismissively, the mask fixed onto the tv screen. “Figured you’d wanna change.”

“Huh.” You snorted, seeing that he had.

You expected to see one of your lacy lingerie sets. But he’d chosen something much more modest that you would’ve ever imagined. Loose, thin, stretchy fabric pajama pants, the matching cropped tank top, and fuzzy socks.

“Um. Thanks?” You said awkwardly, picking them up and turning on your heels to change in the bathroom.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He chuckled.

“To the bathroom?” You scoffed, looking over your shoulder at him.

“You can change in here.” He wasn’t offering. He was telling you.

“No way.” You shook your head. “No I’m not-“

“C’mon little doe.” The filtered voice left little room for change in tone, but you could tell from his body language that it was a challenge.

“Ghost. No! I have Anakin I don’t-.”

He laughed. “I don’t care.”

“Well I do.”

“Mmm… not enough. You’re letting me be here. You didn’t tell him. You didn’t mention me to anyone at all actually.” He pointed out.

“Well that’s not-“

“Hush.” He snapped, making you stall. “I’ve seen that pretty little body of yours plenty of times. What’s one more?”

“But-“ your face was so red hot that you could feel the heat spreading down your neck.

“What? I’m not gonna get up.” He said plainly. “I’m comfy right here where I can watch you.”

“I don’t… this isn’t right.”

“Don’t pull that bullshit with me.” He scoffed. “Nothing about this is ‘right’. But you’re letting it happen, yeah?” He said and got just a nod from you in response.

“That’s it.” He moved his arm to point two fingers at you, “get on with it sweetheart. I wanna see my girl.”

“I’m not your-“

“You were mine first.” He snapped.

“Well, that’s not very fair.” Your voice shaking. “I didn’t even know you were…. I didn’t know about you!”

“That might be true.” He growled, “but it’s your fault for being so ignorant.”

“I-I don’t…” you felt like you were on the verge of a tantrum. This man was outrageous, coming into your home uninvited, being a fucking perv, acting like he owns the place, and now he’s calling you ignorant?

“Do you realize how stupid it is for you to argue with me about the morality of all this?” He asked, going back to his former relaxed state.

“You. Are allowing me to be here. You had all day to call the cops if you wanted to. But you didn’t.” That smug little bastard laughed. “I’ve been here for over two hours. You knew I’d be here when you got back.”

“That’s not-“

“I’m not finished.” He held up a finger and silenced you. “You’re mine. You’ve been mine and you will continue to be mine.”

“I don’t care that you are pretending to be appalled by the situation you are in.” His voice was even and unyielding, he was so confident in his statements.

“You know why I don’t care?” He asked, tilting his head toward you condescension oozing from every pore.

“Why?” You squeaked.

“Because I know, without a doubt, that if I were to stick my hand down your pretty pink panties; you’d be wet right now.”

How did he know what color your underwear is? Better question: why is that the first thing you thought of when there were much more pressing matters at hand?

“That’s not true.” Your voice sounded hollow.

“It’s not?” He laughed. “Show me then.”

“What?” You whispered, eyes bugging out of your head.

“Do it. Prove to me that you’re not soaked.” He snickered.

“That’s not fair you can’t just-“

“You’re not running are you? You haven’t said no, you haven’t come over here and smacked me.” He interrupted.

You stood there with your jaw dropped, you needed a dustpan and broom to sweep up your shattered facade of denial. How could you dispute that?

“Fine!” You shouted. “Fine. I’ll just change in here.”

“Don’t raise your voice at me.” He growled. “You’re awfully bold for a spoiled brat.”

“I am not a-“

“When will you stop disagreeing with me?” He laughed. “You know it’s true. I’ve spoiled you so much that you’ve rotted to your core. You weren’t always a brat, but you are now. You like being spoiled don’t you? Being taken care of, being treated like a princess?”

“Your little boyfriend does the same thing doesn’t he?” He snickered. “Spoiled. Brat.”

“You’re just a little girl who needs a man to hold her hand.”

“You’re being mean.” You whispered, your voice breaking.

“The truth is hard to hear isn’t it little doe?” He said, his voice going back to its nonchalant, flat tone.

You couldn’t argue. He’d been right about everything and it’s difficult to argue with someone who throws fact after fact at you like he’s doing. So you took a deep breath and closed your bedroom door.

“Atta girl.” He nodded. “Show me.”

So you did, you turned around and began undressing, you could feel his eyes on you, soaking up the display you were crafting for him.

“Turn around.” His voice alittle quieter, the voice box crackling.

Slowly you complied, swallowing your fear and embarrassment. You kept your eyes closed, it made you feel the slightest bit better, I’m the way a kid would think ‘I can’t see you so you can’t see me’.

“Gorgeous.” He breathed out.

Behind your eyelids you swear you noticed a change in lighting, briefly, but enough to take note of. Your eyes snapped open and saw him holding up his phone.

He’d taken a picture of you.

“Ghost, no! Delete that right now!” You squealed, quickly getting dressed in your fresh pajamas.

“Cool it.” He waved you off. “Just gonna add it to my special folder just for you. See?” He turned his screen toward you and you inched forward.

He wasn’t lying. He scrolled through over one hundred images and videos, some of you in public, some nude, some of you sleeping. All in a folder titled ‘little doe’.

“These are for me.” He said simply. “They’re not going anywhere so don’t worry about that.”

“But these…” he turned the screen back to himself and tapped twice, scrolled and then tapped again before flipping it around.

The images in front of you made you nauseous.

You, spread legs and wet cunt, up close.

You with your hand being held up by Ghost, your fingers buried deeply between your folds.

A short video of your pussy being lovingly stroking by a leather glove. Another of one long digit pumping into you slowly.

A picture of your lips wrapped around his cock.

“S-so you did… you did touch me?” You recoiled.

“No.” He said flatly, before you could protest he laughed.

“You loved it.” He snickered. “Never let you cum. I wanted you to be needy for me.”

“Until… until I saw you.” You whispered.

“Mhm, that’s right.” He nodded. “Took care of your poor swollen pussy properly that time.” He cooed, shoving his phone back into his pocket.

“You’re sick.” You breathed out. “That’s disgusting… you-“

“Call the cops.” He said gesturing to your phone laying on the bed.

“What?”

“You heard me. Call ‘em.” He snorted. “If I’m so sick and disgusting and you’re soooo horrified by my actions; call the cops. I’ll wait right here.”

“Are you gonna send those to Anakin?” Your voice wobbled as you ignored his challenge. You both knew you wouldn’t call.

“Not if you’re good.”

“Are you gonna hurt him?” You asked quietly.

“Now why would I do a thing like that?” He scoffed. “I want you all to myself, but I want you to choose me. I’m not gonna go all Dexter on your boyfriend.”

“You promise?” You sniffled. “Swear it?”

“Pinky swear.” He said confidently, holding out his hand with his little finger raised.

For some reason you took it. You believed him. He hadn’t gotten up and forced you to do anything, he stayed right there the whole time. He had yet to share those pictures with Anakin. A million other twisted reasons you’d started to accept that this was becoming a new normal. A thousand other things that pushed you to believe him.

He’d only bruised your self image with his cold, hard truths about you. That’s not a crime. That’s a reality check.

“Good choice little doe!” You could practically hear the beaming smile on his face behind the plastic mask.

“Now come up here.” He patted the spot next to him. “I don’t like seeing you upset, I’m sorry.”

He was apologizing? He was apologizing.

“You’re sorry?” You repeated in shock.

“Of course I’m sorry. You’re on the verge of tears and I’ve caused it.” He said, holding out his hand palm up for you to take.

“I’m not a monster.”

You hesitated before accepting his hand and climbing into bed beside him. You sat a safe distance from him at first but he lolled his head to the side in what you assumed was a dramatic eye roll and tugged you to his side in a one armed swoop.

The action had you frozen. This was it. He was gonna hurt you. You’d been naive and stupid and he was going to violate you, this time while you were conscious, you’d remember it this time.

“Relax.” He soothed, tucking you comfortably against his side, his bicep behind your head as a pillow and his gloved hand on your side in a way that was almost comforting. “I mean it. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You whispered, what the fuck is happening?

“No, it’s not okay. I could’ve been more gentle with my words.” His opposite hand rubbing his knuckles across your cheek lovingly.

You were quiet for a moment, debating on the course of action you should take. You were in fact very much allowing this to occur. Would it be so horrible to try and enjoy it? He was warm. He smelled nice and familiar, the cologne… you must have a subtle memory of it from all the times he’d been here while you slept. He was comfortable. He was surprisingly kind.

What’s the worst that could happen?

“Before you get comfy.” He spoke quietly, the voice box crackling from his low voice, “you didn’t take your pill.”

“Oh yeah you’re right.” You moved to get up, pink cheeked because once again he proved that you were in fact helpless without him.

“Don’t get up, I have it right here.” He chuckled, reaching over to the nightstand and handing you the pill packet and a thermos. “Tea.”

“Huh.” You stared at him. Gods this was so fucking weird. “Well… wow okay.” You huffed out a laugh and took your medicine with a sip of your tea.

“Tastes different.” You said, handing the packet back to him.

“Mhm. Yeah I poisoned it.” He said nonchalantly, making you almost choked on your second sip.

“You what?” You shrieked, waking up the cat who bolted from his lap.

“Aw look what you did,” he groaned gesturing to the empty space with a few stray cat hairs.

“You- are you serious?” You started to almost hyperventilate. “Should I make myself throw up?”

Why are you asked the man who poisoned you that? Like he’d tell you.

“No, that would be a waste of good tea.” He snorted. “I put cinnamon in it you idiot.”

“What?”

“Cinnamon.” He repeated. “It’s just cinnamon. It was a joke.”

“That’s not fucking funny!” You shouted, smacking his shoulder.

“Ive already told you once.” His hand shot out and grabbed your jaw firmly. “Do not. Raise. Your voice. At me.” He growled.

“I believe you meant to say ‘ha-ha, ghost that was funny. you got me!’” He snickered and released your jaw, soothing you with his hand now gently raking through your hair.

You were stunned. Absolutely shook by his quick turnaround, this should be terrifying. This man can be so gentle one moment and the next he’s speaking to you like he’s ordering you to lay down at the guillotine. It wasn’t terrifying in the right way. Not the type of fear you should be feeling at his unpredictable actions.

You weren’t scared of him at all. But yourself? Yes. Who is this girl? Why is she… why do you like this? It’s scary because you’re not scared. It’s horrifying because you want more. It’s terrifying because you’re morbidly curious about what he’d do if you acted out again.

You shook your head and picked your jaw off the floor, deciding the best course of action was to just tuck yourself back under his arm and watch whatever movie he had paused when you entered the room.

Might as well. You’ve already come this far.

Date

August 14th

When you woke up the next morning Ghost was gone. Your home was devoid of any trace of him, no note, no gift, no messages. Nothing.

He had hardly moved while you sat with him, the only consistent movement was the gentle twist and twirl of one long lock of your hair around his finger. It was repetitive and soothing, just like the calming rise and fall of his chest.

How could he be so calm? So off guard?

You could’ve turned on him at any moment. Ripped off his mask and saw who he was, grabbed your lamp and wacked him with it. Punched him in the nuts and ran.

But, to be fair, he could’ve done the same to you. Yet you stayed there, albeit anxious and on high alert for majority of the time spent with him. Despite the fact that you knew he carried a weapon, even though you were well aware of what he’d been doing to you all this time, even after he’d manhandled your face when you smarted off to him.

It must be a twisted form of mutual trust.

Or you might just be delusional.

Either way, it was wrong and you knew that. You intentionally got naked in front of another man, while he laid on the bed your boyfriend so sweetly makes love to you in. You fell asleep in the arms of this man. Not just *any* other man, the one who has been stalking you relentlessly for months.

You’ve cheated on Anakin. If he knew, it would crush him. It would break apart his big, soft, velveteen heart. Your betrayal would rip a hole right through the middle and slice up the fabric so badly it couldn’t be sewn back up without ending up smaller, weaker, and deformed.

What could you do? Was there anything to do? Telling him to his face… the thought of it soured your stomach so badly you thought you might form an ulcer.

Telling Ghost to fuck off and leave you alone wasn’t an option either. No matter what you did, the precautions you put in place; he would find you. Not only would he find you, but he wouldn’t allow Anakin the privilege of breathing anymore.

You couldn’t tell Luke. He’d lecture you until your ears bled while he dragged you to the nearest police station. Then Luke would be in danger, Anakin would know, and Ghost would still be your problem. And if Luke didn’t believe you, he’d ship you off to the long term care loony bin.

Your sister? Of course you couldn’t tell her either. She has her own family. Ghost already knows where she lives, he’s told you so.

He knows everything about you. Your family tree, your friends list, your schedule, your medical information, banking account, he has complete access to your home, your phone…

You are a canary in a cage and he is a cat pawing at you through the metal bars.

It’s only a matter of time before one of those claws nicks you. A feather or two might come loose, open up a weak spot on your frail body. The next swipe might draw blood, maybe it won’t. Or maybe he’ll be lucky enough to bat you to the bottom of the cage.

It’s hard enough to escape when there’s someone always watching. When there’s a lock on the door. But to attempt to flee with broken wings? You couldn’t hobble your way to safety anyway. Bird cages don’t have doors at the bottom, they’re halfway up. They don’t have horizontal bars. You can’t climb.

You are stuck.

It’s up to you if you want to be trapped there intact, or if you’d rather wallow at the bottom in pain.

——————————————————————————

Maybe you should just break up with Anakin.

Ghost said he wouldn’t hurt him, but how long will that last? How long until he gets tired of waiting? Should you ask Ghost again? Just to make sure? Make him sign a fucking contract?

Maybe it would be best if-

“Sweetheart?” Anakin whispered softly, waving his hand in front of your face. “What’s going on? I’ve been standing here for almost a minute.”

Anakin was here.

“What?” You whispered back, suddenly overwhelmingly aware of your surroundings.

The diner. You were at The Bluebird. You were working. A glance to the clock told you that you’d been here for over two hours, a quick scan of the tables and the counter proved that you hadn’t neglected any customers. Your notepad and pen were in your hand, there was money in the tip jar.

Anakin was here.

“Hey, c’mere.” His voice soft and concerned.

He gently took the pad and pen from your hands, put an arm around your shoulder and held your hand as he led you through the kitchen. Not an uncommon occurrence, Anakin was well known to everyone at the Bluebird due to his frequent visits to see you. He often walked with you out through the kitchen to sit on the curb with you while you took a break and he smoked a cigarette.

“Vigo, I’m taking her out back.” He said quietly, speaking to the dishwasher.

“I was about to call you man.” He spoke back in a hushed voice. “She’s been actin’ like that since she got here.”

“Yeah? Well next time don’t wait to call.” Anakin grumbled, scowling at your coworker.

The heat of the afternoon sun soothed over your skin, making you painfully aware of the cold sweat lacing the back of your neck. You blinked and it felt like it was the first time you’d closed your eyes in hours. Your mouth was dry, your teeth felt cold and your brain might’ve been better described as soup.

Anakin sat down on the curb and pulled you down with him. Placing you sideways between his legs, your arms immediately threw themselves around his neck and you curled up into him.

“Jesus baby.” He whispered, the wind getting knocked out of him at your aggressive tackle.

“An-” You started to sob before you even finished his name.

“W-what’s wrong?” You could feel his heart beat quicken beneath you, hear it pounding in his chest. He was feeling real, true panic.

“Hey, hey talk to me. Breathe.” He tried to soothe you by petting your hair, rocking you gently, kissing your forehead… anything, anything he could think of and nothing was working.

You were sobbing so loudly that Anakin was glad there wasn’t a back parking lot. If someone wanted to see where this horrible wailing was coming from they’d have to walk all the way around back, thankfully most people didn’t care enough to do such a thing.

Unfortunately though, your coworkers did care.

The back door creaked open and you could hardly hear the conversation over your own tears.

“Anakin!” Vigo whisper shouted. “What the fuck did you do to her?”

“What do you mean? I didn’t do this!” His voice angrily gritting through his teeth. “What happened today?”

“Nothin’ man! I dunno!” Vigo squeaked raising up his hands in surrender. “She just clocked in like that, no cryin’ though. She’s hardly said a word.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t call me!” Anakin grunted, “I’m her emergency contact for a reason you idiot.”

“Hey? Don’t get mad at me!” Vigo scoffed. “I figured she was in a funk because of you, why would I call if I thought it was boyfriend troubles?”

“Jesus- did you even ask her?”

“What?”

“Oh my fuckin’-“ Anakin took a breath to regulate himself, one arm firmly holding you while the other was wildly gesturing as he spoke. “Did you ask her what was wrong?”

“No?”

“Are you stupid? God just fuck- go back inside before you end up crying on the ground too.” He snapped at him, huffing as the back door shut behind a quickly retreating Vigo.

“Sorry baby, I’m sorry,” He whispered, petting your head and squeezing you tightly. “I’m sorry, that probably didn’t help did it?”

“N-not really.” You hiccuped out a laugh.

“She speaks.” He gasped, “want me to yell at him some more? I’ll do it just say the word-“

“Anakin-“ you snorted, wiping your eyes and nose on his shirt. “Aw shit sorry.”

“You think I’m worried about alittle snot?” He scoffed, “Sweetheart, I’d lick it out of your nose like a cow if you’d let me. C’mere I’ll prove it.”

He stuck out his tongue and flicked it at you, chasing your face as you squirmed away from him. Despite to horrible ache in your lungs and the scratchy feeling in your throat, Anakin had a way of making everything better. Even if it was accomplished by making a fool of himself.

You laughed in spite of trying to catch your breath, fighting those awkward stalled inhales with a the goofy little giggle only he could force out of you. He relented finally when you gave up struggling, opting for a kiss on the tip of your nose rather than his tongue up your nostril.

“Wanna talk to me now?” He asked quietly, his playful attitude tucked away and replaced with seriousness.

“I don’t know Ani.” You sighed, feeling horribly conflicted. “I just want to go home.”

“Then I’ll take you home.” He said, not leaving room for argument. “But I’m not letting you get up until you tell me what’s going on.”

“Please? Please I don’t wanna talk about it.” Your eyes already filling back up with tears.

“It’s nothing really! It’s okay.” You pleaded with him, “I’m just… I’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff and it’s all overwhelming.”

“That’s not okay, don’t say it’s okay. You just wailed like a banshee.” He said sternly. “Talk, let me help.”

“I just feel like I’m losing my mind.” You scoffed, “Im going nuts. I don’t… I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it without you thinking I’m insane.”

“Princess.” He said, his voice cracking with pain. “You can tell me anything. You know that.”

“W-what if hypothetically…” you whispered. “It’s only hypothetical okay?”

“Okay. Imaginary scenario, let’s hear it.” He nodded solemnly.

“Hypothetically, if I was having… nightmares of someone being in my house. What would you say.” You whispered.

“Hypothetical nightmares?” He asked, one eyebrow raised. “Well… I’d suggest that maybe you… go to therapy? See if you can find the root of the problem.”

Therapy? To find the root of the problem? That would work if you didn’t already know where to find the problem: in your apartment at any given moment. Hell, he was probably there right now.

“Are you having these dreams because of that night at the bar?” He asked softly, tucking loose hairs behind your ear. “You know we didn’t see anyone put anything in your drink. No one left at the same time as you but your friends.”

“Now like I said before, just because we didn’t see it on camera… it doesn’t mean that no one slipped something in your drink. Stuff like that unfortunately happens all the time.” He sighed.

“I know.” You nodded, your eyes wet and sad, you knew you weren’t drugged there. You were drugged in the security of your own home. “I know, I think maybe I was just alittle more tipsy than I thought I don’t-“

“Hey, no… it’s okay.” He soothed you. “I believe you.”

“But there was no one who followed you home from the bar. I can say that with 100% certainty okay?” He said sternly.

“Ani but-“

“Look at me.” He said sharply, his voice turning soft again immediately after. “No one followed you home. I watched that video a hundred times over from every angle possible. No one else left the bar until about 17 minutes after you and your friends left.”

“Now don’t get upset baby okay? Listen I know, I know that it scared you shitless.” He said in a pained way, his face not quite matching his tone of voice like he was having a hard time trying to decide how to respond.

“Which is perfectly valid. It’s totally okay to be terrified if you saw something like that.” He soothed you, squeezing your upper arms. “I’m not saying it didn’t happen, I would never say that. If you say that you saw something, I believe you.”

“But, just because you saw it… doesn’t mean that it was truly there. Those kind of drugs can really fuck with your head baby.” He said gently.

“I know.” You sniffled, wiping your eyes and hiding against his chest again.

Gods… this man. He really was one of a kind, not just any man or person in general for that matter, would respond so well to such a strange temporary delusion. Your past boyfriends would’ve run for the hills. But not Anakin. It was clear he wasn’t deterred easily, he was your personal emotional support pet leech.

It was strange, feeling so comfortable like this with someone you hadn’t known for very long. After this conversation you thought maybe it would be okay to tell Anakin the truth about it all. He’d handle it perfectly well wouldn’t he?

But, you can’t risk putting him in harms way. You wouldn’t know if Anakin would be safe without first speaking to Ghost. If Anakin was your pet leech… Ghost was the the neighborhood street dog who’d decided your porch was the safest place to sleep. Who would be heartless enough to kick the poor thing out without a proper meal first?

That’s the problem with strays. Give them a scrap and they’ll love you for life.

Diary Entry: August 14th

Jesus baby I’m sorry. I thought things went well last night, I didn’t mean to make you so upset. I really didn’t. I guess you weren’t ready to see Ghost after all.

That’s my fault, I apologize. I should have known better.

It’s just… you seemed kind of excited for it you know? I thought we had a good time. Was the stripping down in front of me what freaked you out so much? Or seeing the pictures? I shouldn’t have done that. I really shouldn’t have, that was too far, too fast.

I see now that I made a mistake and I plan to rectify it as soon as possible. I’m going to give you a choice, one that I really don’t want to give you. But I will for the sake of your sanity.

I’ve been selfish for too long.

I’ve not truly considered your feelings on the situation, I’ve taken your response at face value and never attempted to dig farther than that. It won’t happen again I can assure you of that. Ghost will still be Ghost, but perhaps just a bit more considerate of your opinions and boundaries.

You must understand though, it’s hard to deal with this for me too. I know it’s not fair to compare our separate sides of the situation like this, but it’s true. It’s painful to watch you get so upset over something I’ve done, knowing I can’t really resolve the issue. I don’t know how to help, or fix this.

I’ve dug myself into a hole. A Pit if you will.

How could you ever forgive me now? After all this time that I have been so stupidly self-centered… I imagine it would be unlikely that you could find it in your immensely kind soul to forgive and forget my transgressions.

Maybe not though? I do see you as a godly entity, my own personal deity. If I leave enough at the altar, bow at your feet for long enough, serve you unconditionally… maybe then you would see that I have discovered the error of my ways. You could see that I am truthful in my pursuit of repentance.

Date

August 15th

Anakin drove to the opposite side of the city to purchase your apology gifts from Ghost. He knew well enough that Luke never had a set schedule, Han was always at the gym and you were at book club. There was limited space in time and even smaller proximity of location for him to safely collect the supplies he needed.

If someone saw him buying a dozen red roses and told you about it without his knowledge… well there goes Ghost. It’d be real hard to explain that away.

So he went to the florist, chose the most beautiful bouquet he could find and tucked it away in a large brown bag with tissue paper over the top so he wouldn’t accidentally bruise the petals.

He strolled down the side walk to another small mom and pop store, just to browse through stationary and cards. Ghost needs to be alittle more classy in his opinion. Maybe if his notes are on nice paper and written in plain black ink… that could ease the discomfort of it. It’s probably not super welcoming to find a ripped scrap of paper with red ink scrawled on it now that he’s come to think of it.

It was amusing to him before, but after your display of emotion, he’s feeling guilty. Very, very guilty. There was no reason to go the extra mile on stupid little things like that.

So, pretty grey paper and matching envelopes join the bouquet.

Now he just has to find something else. It can’t be chocolate or something generic. It has to be something meaningful. Something thoughtful to solidify the sentiment behind his offer for you. Something that will push you to make the right decision.

——————————————————————————

Anakin walked into your apartment, and went straight to your bedroom, it was time for Ghost to set up his apology present.

The big red bouquet was carefully placed in the center of your bed along with the pretty stationary propped against it. Your name carefully and neatly written in **black ink** on the envelope.

Your other gift, had turned into two. A small black box accompanying a short and squat black gift bag with grey tissue paper.

He was proud of his staged display, so proud that he couldn’t wait for you to see it. He was itching for you to get home, he needed to know what you’d choose. He was dying to see your pretty face light up with joy at his thoughtfulness.

So against his better judgement, he snapped a picture of himself standing at your bedside. The photo taken from a high angle to capture just the corner of your red rose bouquet, with himself taking up majority of the frame. His mask tilted to the side and his free hand held up a gloved peace sign.

He’d wait to send it.

He wanted to see your face when the message came through.

Anakin was prepared to be patient, but he didn’t have to be patient for long. He got the notification that there was movement out front of the building, he pulled up the live feed from the stairwell camera on his laptop and excitedly jolted up out of his seat before sitting back down quickly to scoot his seat back up to the table.

He rubbed his hands together and practically combusted from the inside when he confirmed it was you. His fingers moved quickly to send the text message and just as he thought you would, you paused and pulled your phone from your hoodie pocket.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, a bit of panic and maybe a bit of excitement. But mostly, Anakin was saddened to see fear. You were scared, but so brave as he watched you sprint up the steps. He shook his head and let out a deep breath, pulling up the split screen of all the cameras in your home.

You burst through the front door and slammed it shut, tossing your bag aside. Anakin turned up the volume just a bit and immediately realized that was a mistake because you yelled directly underneath the kitchen camera. The audio crackled as you shouted out for Ghost, Anakin realized then that you must think he’s still inside your home.

‘Just missed me.’ He texted quickly, watching you check your phone quickly and let out a sigh of relief as you muttered under your breath.

He thought you might text back, but why would you when you knew he was watching at that very moment?

“Hey!” You said, spinning in place, your eyes darting around to scan the room. “Where did you go? I didn’t see you!”

You rushed over to the living room window and down to the alley below, then up the fire escape, your gaze traveling over to the next building’s roof.

‘You won’t see me unless I want you to.’ He texted back.

“Jesus.” You muttered, rubbing your wrist anxiously. “I guess you want me to go to my room huh?”

‘Yes please.’

“Fine.” You sighed, kicking off your shoes as you walked over to the bedroom door, flinging it open quickly just incase he was still hiding out.

Your eyes drew to the center of your bed, the roses, the bag and box, the envelope. If the situation weren’t so strange you might consider this a romantic gesture. But it’s not, it’s not romantic and you shouldn’t want to open the gifts and sniff the pretty, sweet smelling flowers. You should want to call the police and have them haul the shit off for evidence.

“What’s all this for?” You asked alittle quieter than before, holding up your phone to read the text as it came through almost instantly as you knew that it would.

‘Letter.’

“Letter? That’s all?” You scoffed, “you did all this for a letter?”

‘It’s important.’ The response came quickly, followed by a second in rapid succession. ‘Gifts first.’

“Okay… alright. Gifts first.” You sighed, pulling your hand back from where it was inches away from the grey envelope.

The small box seemed like a good first thing to open, easy enough to snap shut if you didn’t like what you saw inside. Tentatively shifting the lid back and forth you wiggled it free and lifted the small square of padding to reveal a very nice, very ornate, obviously hand crafted hair-pin with a silver rod for the pin.

You gingerly lifted it from the box and held it in your hand to examine it, walking over to the window to open the curtains and see it more clearly. Smooth, black ceramic, gorgeously curved and curled silver fittings. But the most intriguing, the most breathtaking part of it, was the delicate lines and the daintily carved cameo in the center of the ceramic oval.

A woman standing under a willow, with a fawn at her feet.

You wanted to hate it, but how could you hate something so beautiful? How could you pretend to be unappreciative of something that clearly took time and effort to find, it wasn’t just vintage, it was antique. The fact that he’d searched for and seized the jewelry was a feat in itself.

You gingerly laid it back in its box, almost too afraid to hold it. Afraid of its fragility, afraid of what it stood for, how it made you feel. The tiny claws of emotion ripping at your throat stole your voice, you could only hope that Ghost couldn’t see your face from where you were standing or he would clearly see what he’d stirred up inside you.

You picked up the small bag and lifted the tissue paper gently, hoping it wasn’t another emotionally draining surprise.

It wasn’t draining, but it sure as hell was a surprise.

“What’s this?” You snorted, turning the bag over and dumping out a few cat toys.

You waited, checking your phone periodically but got no response. You knew he was still watching, so why wasn’t he answering? Sighing you shook your head and opted to take a look at the toys.

A felt kicker toy shaped as a bloody knife. A couple of fluffy spiders, eyeballs with bells inside, and a little vampire bat that was almost too cute to be a cat toy.

“Thanks.” You said quietly.

It was infuriating how well he knew you, he knew how to crawl into your brain and make you want more. How could you not when he did things like this? Thoughtful, well planned gifts, including your pet too. He knew that your cat was your baby and he’d taken the time to befriend her, cared about her enough to buy her things.

It made it all the more irritating that his choice of toys was just alittle funny. But you’d die before you admit that seeing the knife made you crack a grin.

Finally you decided it was time to open the envelope, as soon as you did, you understood why he’d asked you to open the gifts first.

LETTER

Little Doe,

I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you. The hurt I saw, the words heard… I felt it in my soul when I watched you crumble.

My purpose is to love you, my job is to keep you safe, my goal is to make you happy. I’m only doing one of those things, it’s selfish of me to love you the way that I do. I know that.

What I’ve done is wrong, I’m aware. I can’t justify or explain it to you. Just know that the long and short of it is love, it’s not a normal love, but it’s mine and I’m giving it all to you.

There’s no way you’d understand the lengths I’d go to, the things I would do for you. You’d never comprehend how deeply I adore you. That’s okay. It’s hard for me to understand myself too.

The hairpin, it’s the goddess of the hunt and her fawn. I thought considering it all, it would be more than suitable for our situation.

You’re a saint, a deity, someone worth the labors of worship.

Goddesses aren’t meant to be touched, held, loved corporally. They’re meant to be imagined, a comforting presence that you feel all around you, bowed to in hopes of receiving grace. I’ve tried to go beyond the altar to reach you and for that I’m truly sorry.

Please, please take my offerings.

I love you, I need you, but I don’t deserve you. No one deserves attention from the heavens, especially not me. But if you are listening, if you’re willing, I’ll try my best to be the perfect follower.

So I’ll ask for a boon from my goddess:

Grant me passage on the road to repentance, or take my hand to walk through the valley.

You sat on your bed in silence for a long while, your cat coming to join you and accept the gifts left for her excitedly. It brought you a moment of peace to watch her waller around and smack the eyeballs across the floor.

So the overwhelming weight of the thin grey sheet of paper in your hand felt even heavier when she scampered off with her brand new bag toy hanging from her mouth like a fresh kill. She’d left you alone and undistracted again. Just you, your thoughts, and the suffocating silence surrounding you, the creeping tingle on your neck that told you he was still watching the cameras.

He was waiting.

So you sighed and crawled off the bed with your bouquet in tow, cutting the stems into the kitchen trash can and filling a glass vase with water to display them on the counter.

The grey paper followed you from room to room, seat to seat, from one hand to the other as you read it over and over. You could recite it by memory, it was burned into your retinas, you could still feel the indents of his pen on the paper long after you’d sat it aside, the smell of the paper dye singed your nostrils and didn’t leave even after your shower.

You thought you could clean yourself, wash your hands of the problem both literally and metaphorically.

No amount of scrubbing could rinse your brain well enough to wash away the thousands of jumbled words swirling around. You’d been trying to formulate one, just one, coherent sentence for a response. But each time you made progress, you changed your mind on the decision, you scrapped the idea, sent it to the shredder and recycled it into a slightly different, just as illegible mess.

He’s giving you an out. Take it.

Who cares if he still watches you? He won’t interfere. He won’t show up for visits, he won’t leave you gifts or notes.

He’d left you with an offering. A little piece of himself in exchange for your so called ‘divine intervention’. He was asking for the hand of god to stir the pot and serve it too. At least, that’s how he saw it.

For you it was just an awkward toss up of a bunch of jumbled pros and cons.

On one hand he was offering you freedom. Opening the bird cage and giving you the option to escape but clipping your wings, ensuring you can’t go too far.

He’d still watch, just not make an appearance… keep himself hidden like before.

This would also solidify Anakin’s safety, which you valued highly. You’d be free to have your beautiful blossoming relationship, without the worry and stress from the Ghost that haunts your apartment.

On the other hand he gave you the choice to join him in some capacity. To walk through the valley with him; would he walk two steps behind? Two in front? Or side-by-side?

It’d give you the opportunity to explore this stranger you’ve discovered living inside your mind and body. That weird itch that only Ghost can scratch, the thought of him alone just doesn’t do it for you anymore.

You’d have the chance to see who is under that mask and that was more intriguing than anything. You felt like the more you spoke to him, the more you watched him in person… maybe you’d be able to narrow it down to a few people. That might be worth the risks that come with allowing him to continue visiting.

So, you swallowed your fear and closed your eyes. A few silent moments later you spoke aloud, assuming Ghost was still listening.

“I’ll walk with you.” You said slowly, tasting the words as they left your lips. “On two conditions.”

‘What are they, deer?’ His response came instantaneously.

“You leave my friends and family alone. You swear on your life they’re safe and that includes Anakin. I mean it, I’m not fucking around about it okay?” You said confidently. “I already feel guilty enough, don’t make it worse for me.”

‘Guilty?’

“Yes guilty! I have a boyfriend, who I really, really like.” You said, feeling exhausted from the complexity of your choice. “This isn’t fair to him!”

“But it’s… it’s not fair to me either!” You said frustratedly as you blew out a long breath of air through pursed lips. “I deserve to know who you are! You’ve been watching me for god knows how long and I haven’t even heard your real voice.”

“And… and it’s not fair for you either.” You admitted quietly.

‘Why?’

“You’ve been… mostly harmless. Kind.” You confessed, considering saying more, much more. “You’ve been helpful. Despite everything you’ve done, you obviously care about me. I can’t ignore that especially now.”

‘Mostly harmless??’

‘Why ‘especially’ now?’

“You’re joking right?” You snorted in disbelief, shaking your head and trying to stifle a laugh of indignation. “You… well I mean it feels wrong to call it what it is. But- you.. you know what you did!” You crossed your arms frustratedly.

‘Ah… the extracurriculars.’

“Sure if that’s what you want to call it.” An expression of, strangely enough, amusement, crossed over your features. “What it is… well you know what it is.” You sighed.

“But for some reason… I don’t want to call it that.” You said quietly.

‘Hm. I’ll remember that.’

“I’m sure you will.” You huffed in spite of yourself, because if you were honest you’d be telling him you liked it. Your body liked it, your brain liked it, asleep or not, he’d affected you in ways you were unsure you could get with anyone else. Including your sweet and precious boyfriend, he’s too tender and loving.

“Second condition: you promise me that you’ll eventually tell me who you are.” You said firmly. “I deserve to know.”

‘I accept.’

“Okay then.” You sighed with relief and a bit of resignation. “You still have to warn me if you’re gonna be coming to visit though!”

‘Yes ma’am.’

“Ew. Add that to the list. Never call me ma’am again.” You snorted and it rolled into a full laugh when you finally looked up and caught your own gaze in your bedroom mirror. You were sitting in your room alone, speaking aloud, having a fully fleshed, seemingly one-sided conversation.

If anyone were to walk in on this scene playing out, they’d think you’ve lost your mind.

Maybe you already have.

Part Ten

The pendant that inspired the hairpin! I forgot to add it in sorryyyyyy

Tag-List:

@wickedtactics @tsugumiholic @kingdomhate @burnthecheshirewitch @exquisitcorpse @arzua10 @bby-imasociopath @depressed-kay @aliciaasky @naty-1001 1@mrsmikaelsxn @bunnylovesani @ausskywalker @angelsadmired @slut4starwarssmut @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie @starkiller419 @hearts4mitski4 @lethargic @allhailbuckybarnes-blog @shadowhuntyi @mortalheartache @fallinlovewithevil @sythethecarrot @chaoticantihero @vadersslut @luvvfromme @anakinsbaee @sweetcheesecakesblog @luvskywxlker @angelsadmired @kaminokatie @anakin-pilled @graveyard-stray @chiaraanatra @jediavengers @zapernz @lunalitva @salted-snailz @queenofchaos99 @ellie-luvsfics @dazednstars141 @rorysbrainrott @hopesworlld @lonaah @guiltycherries @syralix @doblasftcisco

THE TAGS LIST IS FULL! But if you want to be tagged I will comment ur username for you. Love you all so many.

#star wars anakin #anakin skywalker #anakin smut #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #star wars #anakin x you #sw anakin #darth vader #darth vader smut #anakin imagine #anakin skywalker smut #anakin fanfiction #anakin skywalker x reader smut #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin #anakin skywalker x you #darth vader x you #darth vader x reader #hayden christensen x reader #hayden christensen #james kelly

[magics-neptunes-things]

Kiss Me More

Hi guys :)

I had a request for the last chapter for the serie "Kiss Me", so here it is :)

I hope it will suits you, dear anon.

Enjoy ♥

TW : Mention of cheating

PART 1 | PART 2

______________________________________________________________

Being Katie McCabe’s girlfriend is something you were hoping to be for several weeks before it happens. You both needed a little of adjustment at first, Katie was sometimes a little bit reluctant to pass to much time with you. You were hurt at first, thinking that she finally wasn’t interested to the idea of making things with you. When she realized that she hurt you, you had an explanation, where she basically told you that she didn’t want things to go to fast. Because a part of her was always scared of something going wrong or something.

You were great now, she isn’t the most demonstrative person in the world, at least when you are not alone. You can live with that actually, both of you decided to hide your relationship to the public for now. Not all of your teammates know about your relationship, but the ones who are your friends know.

Katie makes a point to let you understand that she is in charge in this relationship, but as bossy as she wants to be, you can only see how much she looks for you. When you are not coming to work together, she always waits for you in the locker room to have her kiss before going to training. When you are eating with other of your teammates at the training facilities, she always sneaks her chocolate to you. And you can say that she remembers everything you tell her.

Your favorite chocolate, your favorite flower, your favorite color, the name of the cat you had when you were a kid, where you like to go for a walk, your favorite TV show… She knows everything and she is always proud about it.

That’s the kind of things that makes you realize that she really cares about you.

********

“Do you really need to go?” you ask in a pouting tone, wrapped around your girlfriend.

Katie needs to go, you know that. She has to go to Ireland for the national break. You stay in London yourself, your ankle being a little sore and Australia only playing friendly, both of your teams decide to let you rest. You’re a little sad not to go have fun with Caitlin, Steph and Kyra, but you will next time.

“Yes, I have to. But I still could take you in my pocket” she smirks.

“I think I’d like that” you smile back.

Katie laughs and you cuddle even more against her, trying to get as much from your girlfriend as possible. It’s only two weeks, but you don’t like when she’s not around. She seems a little less needy than you are, but she never said anything about your behavior with her. Katie being very honest, you know that she would have said something if she didn’t like something you do.

You feel her shiver when you take a big breath in her neck and you smile, letting your finger run on the skin of her abs. But she knows what you’re doing, because several seconds after, she takes your hand in hers.

“We don’t have time for that, my pretty lady.”

“Can’t make it quick?” you tease.

“Not with you.”

She kisses you and you let her, distractedly asking yourself if it’s a compliment or not. But you soon come back to reality, Katie will leave in some minutes now. You’re at her house, you’ve got her cat’s supervision while she’s away. Ella, her sister, has too but she will rejoin her for the game in Ireland in some days.

You will not, because it would be too risky to do it. People would easily understand what’s happening if you go to the game. And with the social media, it would be impossible to hide. You know it. You’re still a little sad, but you don’t say anything to Katie about it.

She seems a little sad when she says goodbye to you at her door. The way she puts your hair behind your ear before kissing you softly say it all. You don’t need Katie to words what she’s feeling because you can feel it too.

“Write me?” you ask when she takes you against her one more time.

“Course. You too, ok?”

You nod, not trusting your voice at this moment. You hide your face on her neck one last time, breathing her sent. But you know you have to let her go; her Uber won’t wait for her forever.

After a last-minute recommendation about Coopurr, she kisses you a last time before running to the car with her suitcase. You can’t help but smile, waving back at her when she does from the back seat.

********

Katie lost her first game against France and in your opinion, it wasn’t really deserved. Maybe you are biased, but Katie would have deserved to score the goal at the 86th minute. She’s still fuming about her teammates fail and you try to distract her while showing her cat.

It’s seems to work, Coopurr’s purring making her smile. Ella left this morning, and you feel a little lonely here. Thanks god, Lia is in London too and you have someone you like to pass time with you. She is dog-sitting one of the dogs of your teammates and you wonder how it would look like when some of them would have children too.

You were actually walking Calvin with Lia, when you receive a message from one of your friends. You don’t really like when someone send you a “Have you seen that?!” with an article. You were not walking fast because of Lia’s leg, so you don’t have to slow to read it. Maybe sitting on a bench would have been a clever idea though.

You are currently reading an article of a girl, explaining how she slept with Katie McCabe. Your girlfriend. You know that Katie had some hookup before things are getting different between you, but the timing isn’t good. Katie and you are together for four months now. And this girl is literally talking about last week, exactly the day when Katie and her teammates went to a bar to decompress from the training. When you said to Katie that you find it strange, she laughs and answered “Meh we are Irish. Beer is in our DNA.” Which made you laugh at the time, but you are far from laughing right now.

“What’s going on?”

You realize that Lia called your name almost two times before you raise your face to look at her. Not being able to talk, you just give her your phone. You watch closely at her face when she reads it, and you see her passing from questioning to shock. She looks at you straight in the eyes when she gives you your phone back.

“Do you think that’s true?”

There is a lump in your throat that keeps you from talking right. You try to swallow it before talking.

“There are a lot of details.”

Lia nods. There are a lot of details. About Katie and her flat in Dublin, the same one where Ella was living before coming to London too.

“Come on, let’s go home. You need to call Katie.”

********

You did not call Katie, but you didn’t answer her messages or her call either. You know it’s stupid and maybe a little immature. But you cannot face it now. The betrayal is too hard to support, and you cried so much that you are not sure that your eyes will be white again one day.

You still take care of Coopurr though, the cat not leaving your side when you are at Katie’s house. You know she can see you coming if she wants, she installed security cameras outside and inside the house. Other than that, you just go to your flat to sleep the most that you can. You do not want to face this, maybe if you keep hiding the pain will fade away.

It doesn’t. You are startled awake two days after, with loud banging against your door. You hesitate to go answering, but you are clearly in fear that the person will break your door if you don’t get up.

So, you do, trying to arrange your hair in a messy bun. You are wearing Katie’s Irish away jumper and a pair of black Nike shorts. You’re pathetic. But Lia seems to be more relieved than judgy about your appearance when she sees you. She has her phone in her hand, but the relieved soon let place to a frown.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“Sleeping?”

She grunts and close the door behind her when she comes in your flat. Thanks god you cleaned last night, tired to be in a messy place.

“Why aren’t you answering to Katie?”

“I can’t” you whisper, following her in the living room.

Lia turns around to look at you and her face softens when she sees you. She hesitates several seconds, before handing you her phone.

“Well, do it now.”

You look at the screen to realize that she was already calling someone for almost 45 minutes already. It’s Katie. Lia encourages you to take it with another nod of her head. You sigh and take it, letting yourself fall in the couch behind you.

“Hello?” you mumble.

“Bloody hell, where were you?!”

You wince at Katie’s tone, Lia taping your shoulder in an attempt of recomfort before leaving for the kitchen. You appreciate the intimacy she offers you, but you would have preferred to have her with you to be honest.

“Why aren’t you answering to any of my text or call? What happened?”

Katie seems on verge of breaking down and that’s maybe what made you snap. You don’t shout with Katie; you know that it doesn’t make any sense to do it with her. She’s loud, but you were always able to talk about things without shouting.

“I don’t know, you tell me?” you say icily.

“I don’t understand.”

You can easily imagine her with her eyebrows frown. You sigh before rolling your eyes. If she wants proof, you’re going to give some to her.

“I’ll send you something. After that, if you have something more to tell me, call me back.”

You don’t wait for her answer before hanging up. You take your phone, looking for the article your friend sent you. You didn’t answer to him, but right now, it doesn’t matter. You sent the link to Katie, before going to the kitchen to give Lia her phone back.

“Do you want me to stay, or can I leave?” the Swiss captain asks.

“You can go, Wally. Thanks for coming.”

“Anytime. Call me, ok?”

You smile slightly and nod, letting her kiss your cheek before she leaves. You just have closed the door behind her when your phone start ringing. It’s Katie, requiring a FaceTime. You answer and Katie’s face is almost white when you see her.

“This is bullshit. I never did that, I swear.”

You sigh, rubbing your forehead. You are honestly so tired, the amount of sleep you had those past hours are not very good. And sad, of course.

“I don’t know, Katie” you whisper.

“No, it’s the truth! You have to believe me, baby please.”

“How can she know all of these things, Kat?” you say wearily. “She even knows that you have a birthmark on your tummy, or how your kitchen is decorated.”

“Ella always made TikTok in that flat before she comes to London! And for my birthmark, it probably visible on some pictures. You know that I give my jersey to kids sometimes after the game. People take me on picture every time.”

You let several seconds passed, trying to listen to her. The last part is true, you saw thousand pictures of your girlfriend in sport bra on the football fields. For the second part you don’t see her making things like this, particularly with the fact that you just have to go on TikTok to see if it’s the truth or not.

“Come on Babe, why in the world would I ask you out if it’s just for sleeping around soon after?”

“I don’t know.”

You are desperate. You want to believe her, of course you do. You know she has sometimes trouble with talking about her feelings, but you never thought about her cheating on you. She’s one of the most loyal persons you know.

“You know what? I’m taking a plane right now.”

“What?”

Katie is suddenly moving, and the noise of a suitcase that is open is audible from the phone.

“No Katie, you can’t do that. You have training tomorrow and a game in two days against England.”

“I don’t give a damn fuck.”

You almost roll your eyes.

“Katie, stop.”

She listens and look at you, her face dark and her eyebrow frown. She looks determined but she still stopped when you asked her.

“You can’t do that” you repeat.

“Well come to Ireland. I’ll sent you the ticket for the plane.”

“Katie…”

“Stop calling me that!” she shouts.

“Calling you what?” you ask, frowning.

“Katie.”

She says it like it’s a bad world or something and this time you can’t help but roll your eyes at her.

“It’s your name?” you point.

“You stopped calling me that after we start dating. Stop calling me Katie and come to Dublin. Please.”

********

That’s how you find yourself in a plane for Dublin, reserved by Katie who put you in first class. You roll your eyes when you realize it and sent her a picture of you in your seat when you are in the plane. Since your call, Katie almost never stops calling or texting you. You don’t understand how she managed to get the time to go to training, but she does. And the pictures of her on Instagram can say you that it’s the truth.

She warned you that she won’t be able to come to pick you at the airport, but you are surprised to see a man with your name on a paper waiting for you. He smiles at you, informing you that Katie sent him to drive you to her hotel.

He talks to you about Dublin and some places during the journey to the hotel, while you are looking by the window. You never went to Ireland before, only for football. Maybe Katie will show you around if you manage to forget your fight. And you definitively need to change the idea you made in your head that Katie really cheated on you.

You know that some of your friends saw the article too, but no one talked about it to you. Maybe because you were ignoring everyone, true.

When you arrive, you hide behind your hood because you don’t want anyone to recognize you for now. You’re really fearing to find yourself facing Ruesha, for example. Katie told you her room number and your hands are shaking when you knock on the door of her hotel room.

It took her several seconds to respond, but she finally opens the door. She looks tired honestly, but she’s at camp so it’s maybe not surprising. She froze a little when she sees you, like if she doesn’t believe that you will actually come. You’re the one breaking the silence, rather awkwardly to be honest.

“Hi” you whisper, waving your hand.

Thanks god, Katie doesn’t seem to mind. She doesn’t laugh, taking you against her. Hard.

“You’re here” she whispers while holding you.

You nod, finding solace in her embrace. You missed her, obviously. It would have felt better to find her without all this drama though. She lets you go only several minutes after, not only releasing you totally. She looks at you and you look back, both of you not knowing where to start.

“I’m sorry for the article” Katie finally says after some time.

You shrug, not knowing what you could answer to that. She doesn’t ask for it, cheating or not cheating.

“Do you believe me now?”

You know that the answer to the question is important for her. Like you said, Katie’s loyal. And it’s one of the things who are the most important for her. You know it, you know Katie.

“I think I do” you finally say very slowly.

You see that Katie is looking at your face and your eyes with attention, maybe looking for any trace of doubt from your part. You believe her, that doesn’t mean that the article was forgotten. The way you felt when you first read it is still very perennial in you.

“Yeah?” she asks softly.

You nod, smiling very lightly when she strokes your cheek. She gives you the impression that you are made of glass, and you don’t know if she ever been so delicate with you.

“Come sit down.”

She takes you by the hand and you let her drag you in her bed. You sit here, next to her, with your back against the headboard. Katie sits in front of you, playing with her thumb and her nails.

“I’m going to talk, but if you have something to say please feel free to stop me, ok?” Katie asks.

You nod, looking at her. You are curious to know what she might want to tell you. Does she even know that girl? Or did that girl create all this story?

“I know that I’m maybe not the perfect girlfriend and I know that our relationship didn’t really start like it was supposed to. I’ll always had a thing for you, but I was scared, I was an asshole, and it was honestly easier for me to just sleep with you and try to pass to something else. That’s what I tried to do, but it didn’t work. I was still thinking about you, even more than before.”

Katie stops to take a breath and you are still looking at her, not saying a word for now. You don’t know if Katie thought about what to say to you, but for now you understand what she’s saying.

“I never slept with someone else since our first time, I couldn’t even if I tried and that scared the shit out of me. It was so hard to deal with the breakup with Ruesha, not because I was still in love with her, but because it was so shit, you know? I really don’t want to have to deal with that once again.”

You nod slowly, still not talking. This point makes you a little uneasy to be honest. You knew that Katie’s ex will be here to the camp. And you don’t know how the hell are all the people doing, because it was hard for you to be ok with the fact that Ruesha was seeing Katie every day and not you.

“But then there was this damn girl hitting on you right in front of me and I couldn’t support it. I was only thinking that you were mine, but you weren’t. And at that point I didn’t know if you wanted to be mine or if my behavior ruined everything we could have. But you give me a chance, and I’ll be forever grateful for it. That’s why I will never do anything and take the risk to lose you, Y/N. I really care for you and you mean more to me than you think.”

Katie never talked to you about her feelings the way she is doing now. You are touched, of course. You were in love with her before you slept together for the first time, not thinking a second that she might be interested in you too. She seems so vulnerable now, her voice shaking a little at the end. Maybe it’s the emotions, maybe it’s because how much she talked. Maybe both.

You softly take her hand in yours, interlocking your fingers together.

“I really care about you too. That’s why this… things was so hard to read. I don’t understand why someone would invented something like that.”

“I dunno. For celebrity maybe”

Katie shrugs, not really having interest in that for now. All that mattered to her right now is being sure that you trust her. That you believe her and she didn’t lose you.

“Are we good?” she asks, searching for your eyes.

“You promise that nothing happened?”

“I swear on Coopurr’s head, babygirl.”

“Ok” you laugh, rolling your eyes.

You can’t hide the fact that this is the first time that you laugh since you red this article on the park with Lia.

“Hug?”

Katie opens her arms with a slight smile and you don’t hesitate once second before going for her. Your movement make you both fall in the bed and you smile when you hear Katie’s laugh. You missed it. You missed her.

“God I missed you” Katie mumbles from under you, reading in your mind.

“I missed you too” you say honestly, letting your head rest against her shoulder.

She just hums, stroking your back softly while steering at the ceiling. You feel yourself dozen, you haven’t really had a good sleep those last days. But soon there is knock against Katie’s door and you jump.

“McCabe, diner!”

Katie sighs softly and release you to sit on the bed.

“Is it now that I leave?” you asks, not able to hide your disappointment.

“If you want to. Otherwise, you can wait for me here, I’ll sneak something for you to eat and we can sleep together. Tomorrow morning I’ll make my sister come to get you and you can come to the game?”

“Won’t people ask what the hell I am doing here?” you arch an eyebrow.

“That’s not their business. Unless it disturbs you.”

“It doesn’t”

“So it’s settled then” Katie shrugs, getting up from the bed.

She kisses you one more time before leaving and you decide to take the time to shower. You fall asleep while waiting for her, only taking the time to eat the sandwich and snacks she takes with her in the room before falling asleep again. You slept better in her arms than you did since like forever.

And the next day, when Ella came to take you to Katie’s flat at Dublin, you are feeling good again. Katie didn’t cheat on you.

Ireland didn’t win against England, but you are prouder than ever of your girlfriend. You decide to wear Katie’s jersey and to watch the game with her family in the stadium. Your presence didn’t went unnoticed, but like Katie said, you both didn’t care. To be honest, you even have fun to post what fans like to call soft launch.

#woso imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics #katie mccabe imagine #katie mccabe #katie mccabe x reader

[miniwheat77]

Wild. (Rudy x Reader.)

!CW! NSFW, Smut, MINORS DNI! unprotected p in v sex, (sorry if I missed any.)

*not edited*

When people think of Rudy they think of him as a kind, gentle, loving man. And they’re not wrong, not at all. He’s gentle, he’s a good problem solver. He’s good at soothing people when they’re upset in any way. He’s good at de-escalating situations, and he’s a phenomenal getaway driver.

Everyone knows Rudy is a family man, but he doesn’t talk much about his wife. Alejandro has only met her a couple of times and knows that she’s quiet and reserved.

But everything was about to change, because you were coming to work on base as a bookkeeper for Alejandro.

—

When people met you, they were surprised. You were stunning which made sense because of course, Rudy was good looking. But than, talk started around the base.

Alejandro had overheard very gross conversations between a few of his men, making them do push ups and handing out suspensions like candy on Halloween. He didn’t expect Rudy’s wife of all people to be such a big topic. You got plenty of glances from the men on base and it made you uncomfortable and Alejandro was furious obviously. They looked like a pack of hungry wolves and it was absolutely ridiculous behavior.

After about a month or so, everything finally calmed down. Everything slowly started going back to normal, but you were still getting cat called. They would say gross things to you, stare you down. They were ridiculous.

You were sitting in the mess hall, figuring out a spreadsheet and drinking coffee. Rudy and Alejandro were getting coffee, and you were getting frustrated with the conversations you were overhearing from the table near you. “Yeah, I’d hit that. There’s no way Rudolfo is satisfying that.”

That was your last straw. You let out a very exaggerated sigh, standing up and pushing your chair in. Which gathers a few glances from those around you. You stand there with the spreadsheets in your hand. Leaning up against the table with your arms crossed. “You know I’m sitting 5 feet away from you, I can hear absolutely everything you’re saying.” You say. This catches the attention of everyone, including Rudy and Alejandro who are waiting for coffee. “Yeah? So what. Nothing I said was untrue.” He shrugs. He smiles.

You send him a very fake smile.

“Listen.. Sergeant Ramirez right? There’s a reason that none of the women on this base interact with you. Because you’re a total creep who keeps talking about having sex with a married woman.” You laugh. “I don’t know why my sex life is sooooo interesting to you, but since you must know, it’s great. Rudy is satisfying me just fine, I’m a VERY happy wife. But thanks for your.. weirdly obsessive concern.” You step closer, your face only a few inches from his. “If I hear you say “I’d hit that.” One more fucking time, I’m going to hit you right in the jaw with my fist. Am I clear?” You narrow your eyes at him. He’s clearly embarrassed, nodding his head. “Great!” You say. Walking away from your table, down the hall. “Jesus Christ.” Alejandro laughs. “Didn’t realize she had such a fire in her.” Rudy laughs, bringing his coffee up to his lips. “Oh, no tienes idea del tipo de actitud que domino en el dormitorio.” He takes a drink of his coffee, trying not to smile when Alejandro nearly chokes on his. “Jesus Rudy!” He laughs.

“I’m gonna go check on her.” Rudy laughs. He’s not wearing his normal gear yet, still just wearing black jeans and a white t-shirt. Wearing that signature comfortable grey jacket he has. He opens the door to your room, seeing you looking over something. “Hey. You alright, amor?” He breathes. You nod your head. Turning to look at him. “Don’t let them get to you.. they’re just.. immature.”

“They don’t get to me, I just hate that they think you’re so soft.” You narrow your eyes, an evil grin playing at your lips. “The Rudy I know is far more devilish than they know.” You roll your eyes. “Yeah? That’s cause I have to do something to combat that fucking attitude of yours.” He crosses his arms. You roll your eyes. “Fuck you Rudy.” You laugh. “Sí, te gustaría eso, ¿no?” He smirks. “Quizás lo haría.” You reply. He snorts, locking the door behind himself. He pushes his jacket off, discarding it on the floor as he makes his way toward you. He cups your face, kissing you hard. Helping you pull your clothes off, only stopping to tug your shirt off. He reaches for his belt but you stop his hand. “Keep it on.” You breath.

He rolls his eyes.

He grasps your wrist, tugging you until your back is to him. His lips ghosting by your ear. “I forgot..” he chuckles. The fabric of his shirt burns your bare skin. “You like the way it rattles when I fuck you.” He whispers. “I hope you think about the way I fuck you anytime you hear something rattling.” He growls, pushing you down onto the bed. You whine as he pulls your hands behind your back, lining his cock up with your aching hole. When he sinks into you, you’re gasping out. Trying to take in a breath. Turning to look at him. He pushes your hips into the mattress, rutting his hips into you. “Fuck Rudy-“ you gasp. He’s breathing hard as he fucks into you, gritting his teeth. No matter how many times he was inside of you, he’d never get used to it.

He tries to keep you quiet as he rocks his hips into yours but he doesn’t really care who hears at this point anymore. You push your hips back into him, and he smiles as he moves away. “I wanna ride you.” You breathe. He smiles. He sees your chair, sitting down in it and you move quickly sit in his lap, lining him up with your entrance again, moaning as you sink down onto him. He rests his hands on your hips, looking up at you as you start to rock your hips into him. “Fuck..” he sighs. “You’re so fucking good at this.” He breathes. “Siéntete tan jodidamente bien mi amor.” He breathes, looking up at you through his eyelashes. His eyes are dark and loving as he looks up at you. “God, no wonder they think you’re so sweet, stop looking at me like that.” You breath, pushing down on his chest and rocking into him, raising up off of him more, taking more of him down. “Ah-“ he moans, a smile still on his face. “I’m not doing anything.” He mutters. “Yeah you are, you keep looking at me like you love me or something.” You giggle, a gasp leaving your lips as he thrusts up into you. “Maybe that’s just because I love you. Love that attitude, love your personality.” He breathes. “Love this perfect body you have, love the way you make me feel. And god do I love watching you put people in their fucking place.” He gasps. Thrusting up into you faster. You clutch onto the chair for dear life. “Me vuelves loca de mierda.” He gasps, tilting his head back.

You cup his cheeks, kissing him as he holds your hips, thrusting up into you. He can feel you getting tighter around him, and he’s fucked you enough to know that you’re close, so he stands up with you, lays you back on your bed, and hammers his hips into yours until your crying out his name. “Yeah, that’s it. Cum for me.” He breathes. “Muéstrame lo buena chica que eres.” He growls. You reach your peak with a gasp, eyes screwing shut and he pins your hips to the bed so that you can’t squirm away from him as he rides out your high. He grits his teeth, letting out a cry when he reaches his own orgasm. Not pulling out of you even when he knows he should.

He takes a deep breath. Pulling away from you with a sigh, moving himself to lay next to you.

When you make eye contact, he’s got that same look in his eye that makes you laugh. “What?” He rolls his eyes. “Nothing, I love you.” You breathe. “I love you too. Now Cmere.” He breathes, pulling you into him.

A knock at the door has you both going stiff.

“I think you’ve made your point, hermano.”

#call of duty mw2 #soap mw2 #cod mw2 #ghost mw2 #captain john price #price mw2 #alejandro mw2 #captain price #johnny soap mactavish #mw2 smut #rudy cod #rudy x reader #rudy parra

[totheblood]

true blue. (three)

pairing: modern!ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie buys a scone and you drink a shirley temple

warnings: suggestive themes, drug/alcohol usage, cursing, descriptions of abusive behavior (neither ellie or reader engages in these behaviors)

a/n: i love writing as ellie writing in her journal... also the ai audios were a bitch to make this time... hope u like them THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD - I apologize.

here is the masterlist where you can read part one and two!

Ellie wanted nothing more than to pretend the last two days of her life didn’t exist.

But that wasn’t possible. This was real life and Ellie had received a booty call from her most recent heartbreak merely hours after she had her fingers tucked inside of her ex. Ellie wasn’t even completely sure why she was entertaining it, but she knew that whatever choice she made she would curse herself forever. 

The truth was that Ellie had missed Cat almost as much as she hated her. There’s a certain kind of comfort that only your first love can bring, and a certain kind of addiction Ellie had for her. But at the end of the day, it always came down to one thing: Ellie wanted to be known by someone.

And she was known by Cat, albeit for only for a few months, but still she was known. Cat saw all the worst parts of her and still held her like glass every night. She saw the things that Ellie couldn’t even imagine liking about herself and turned them into something beautiful. Ellie’s heart had been harbored in the chest of Cat’s for almost a year and that was something you couldn’t just forget.

Then there was you. Ellie had known you all for a few weeks and was already entranced by you. She liked the little things you did, like buy her tea after realizing she didn’t like coffee or how you always printed an extra sheet of notes knowing she would forget to bring hers to class. What astonished Ellie even more was that you did most of this while she was giving you the cold shoulder.

What plagued Ellie about this was that she knew for a fact that if she got to know you, she would fall in love with you. She had already written down a list of things about you in her journal and she was starting to feel like she was going insane.

Likes a lot of sugar in her coffee… too much sugar almost, made a comment about it and she told me ‘that’s why she was so sweet’.. It was corny as fuck. She’s fucking adorable.

This little freak told me how she communicates with squirrels, she waves her arm or some shit, i told her she was clinically insane… AND THEN SHE DID IT??? She moved her arm and a fucking squirrel ran up to us… what the fuck, is this girl magic?

She smiles everytime she sees me, even after I’ve been a jerk.. Dina told me I should drop it but I can’t, when I see her stupid beautiful face I remember Cat, am i the crazy one?

She looked so sad today. I wanted to ask her what was wrong but I didn’t… I’m such an asshole sometimes. I don’t know why I do this to myself. If I was her I’d run the other way but she just sticks around… who does that?

I swear she’s playing mind games with me, her shirt was so tight today that i just

 She smells like cherry and vanilla… almost want to take a bite

She didn’t text me about the project today… is she forgetting about me?

Ellie never thought she would be in this predicament. She never imagined having a sense of loyalty to you, but a part of her felt that if she went over to Cat’s she would be betraying you. 

So she didn’t.

That Saturday morning Ellie went to Bean and picked up the strawberry scone you love so much and your coffee with extra sugar and headed over to your dorm. As she approached your building her palms got increasingly more sweaty. She was quickly losing the confidence she had when she was with you yesterday, but she was determined to start fresh with you. 

She even imagined the two of you bonding over shitty exes, kissing all the places they refused to. She imagined crying in your lap instead of Dina’s and kissing the inside of your thigh when she finally felt better. She imagined taking a bath with you, you rubbing whatever sickly sweet cherry scent you were obsessed with over her body. She was imagining a lot of things, but she was getting ahead of herself. 

Ellie knocked about five times before deciding that you were asleep. Just as she turned to leave she heard a groan from the other side of the door.

“Ugh, hello?” Your voice came out raspy, evidence of last night in your voice. 

“Um, hi… it’s me.” Ellie spoke, her throat getting a little bit dry. “It’s Ellie.”

“Oh shit, Ellie.” You opened the door quickly ushering her in. She stepped in and watched as you put a hand on your forehead, the hangover written all over your face. It was evident that you had slept in your make-up, as she could see the mascara smudged across your face. You looked like a fucking mess, but Ellie thought you looked beautiful.

Suddenly, she was shy again. “Fun night, huh?” She joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah, it was fucking fantastic.” You replied sarcastically, climbing back onto your bed and patting the spot next to you, ushering Ellie to join you. “What’cha got there?” You questioned, eyes glancing at the bag and cup she had resting in her hands. 

“Oh it’s, uh, it’s that scone you like… and your sugar coffee.” She walked over to where you were, handing you the bag and cup as she sat down next to you. She smiled as she watched your features soften as you blinked up at her, a small genuine smile on your face. 

“For me?” You beamed. Ellie noticed two things right away: you had tears in your eyes, and no one had ever done something like this for you before. It was so small in terms of gestures, but Ellie’s heart swelled with pride as you thanked her.

She watched you take a bite, before you closed your eyes and gave her a fake moan. “This is so fucking good. I needed this.” 

“I’m glad.” She gently nudged your shoulder with hers. 

“Ellie… I don’t mean this to be rude, but why are you here?” You asked reluctantly. She could tell you weren’t trying to be rude so she didn’t take any real offense to it. If Ellie was being honest with herself she couldn’t exactly place why she was here either. All she knew was that she didn’t want to be at Cat’s. She also knew that she wanted to hang out with you, but the more she sat here the more she realized she should’ve asked you. 

“Oh I, I just wanted to talk about yesterday…” She came up with the lie quickly knowing it may be the only thing that made sense. “And what that means for us… not that there is an us but… you know.”

All you did was nod and take another bite of your scone. “What does it mean for us?” 

She took a deep breath as she eyed you. You truly were the eighth wonder of the world to her. It was like there was something that was always pulling her towards you. At first she thought that something was Cat, but there was no way that whatever attraction she had to you was based on Cat alone. 

You were completely different. When she spoke, it was obvious you were listening. It was like you wanted to hear what she had to say. You laughed at her lame joke and never made her feel like an idiot for making them. When she got quiet you would try to bring her out of her shell by telling her stupid puns. She was mad at you at the time, but her heart still appreciated it. You never let her look stupid in class or in public. One time you even got down on your knee and tied her shoe for her. You were heaven incarnate, and you made her feel like she was deserving of that.

“I just… I think when I met you it scared me how much I liked you. I had just gotten broken up with and I couldn’t get into another thing… you know? But there you were with your sweet fucking voice and pens and I just.. I shut down and I pulled away from you and I know yesterday felt so sudden but I had been thinking about doing that for a while now. I think I want to know you more, but in order to do that I think we should start over. Clean slate. Act like my fingers were never inside you and all that. Maybe even let me take you out on a date.” Ellie rambled out, carefully watching your face for any reaction that would give you away. 

“Oh Ellie,” You whispered, your voice soft and tender. You brought a hand up to push her hair behind her ears, ignoring how her face flushed and grew hot. “I would love that. But I refuse to forget those fingers.”

“They’re good fingers, right?” She was beaming up at you, freckled and starry eyed. “How about tomorrow for that date?” 

“Works for me.” You smiled, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. This had felt more like a first kiss to Ellie than anything she had done prior. It was gentle and sweet and left her pulse racing. It was the kind of kiss that she closed her eyes for, hoping it would last longer. It was the kind of kiss you held your breath for.

-

It had been almost three weeks since you and Ellie started going out, and she was on the verge of asking you to be her girlfriend. That title was still sore in her chest but she was fighting through it for you. 

You were someone who had ‘girlfriend’ written all over them. You were the type of person people would want to call their girlfriend. You always kissed Ellie goodbye, held her hand as much as possible, and best of all you gave really good head. Ellie was trying to be less vulgar and more romantic but the minute you started working her with your tongue, she became 16 again. 

Ellie had made it a habit to add more about you in her journal after every date you had, the scribbles getting more frantic as the time went on. She felt like a fucking child.

She ordered a Shirley Temple at dinner today… At first I was like??? What the fuck? But then she took the cherry stem and tied it with her tongue. THEN she told me that she was going to show me again later… and in my head I’m like??? But then later came and… well so did I.

We saw a stray cat on our walk today and it approached us… a cat has never fucking approached me in my life? Maybe I have shit vibes or something.. But not my girl, she’s like a fucking rainbow. She pet it and made a comment about getting pussy. I’m crushing on the girl I’m going out with.

This little weirdo made me a mug in her pottery class, carved her name into a heart and everything. Even said the heart was mine.. It was so fucking cute… her… not the mug. The mug was ugly as fuck. She did her best.

Joel came for family day today and met her. He told me she was cute but a little fucking weird, just like me. What an asshole. I counted the amount of times she made him laugh. It was 24. 24 times in 2 hours. Joel Miller has never laughed that much in his entire life. But the fact that he likes her so much makes my heart warm. I don’t even mind that he might like her more than me.

She had been begging to hang out with my friends so Dina and Jesse and us went on a double date. Her and Dina act like they know each other. They were all giggly. It was gross. Jesse even seems to like her. He gave her the last bread in the basket. JESSE! Jesse did that. It seems small but that’s like something he never does. I’m starting to believe this girl is a witch… I’m starting to believe I’m in love with her.

I’ve been writing her a song on the guitar. She saw the guitar in my room one time and called me “her little rockstar”... what a fucking nerd. She asked me to play for her but I got nervous… that has never happened before… What are you doing to me????

Ellie was smitten. Ellie was so smitten that she almost forgot about Cat. Almost. Because at this very moment Cat was charging towards her as she sat on the grass with her journal in her hands.

“Hey.” Cat sighed, sitting down next to Ellie.

“What do you want, Cat?” Ellie grunted out, moving over so she wasn’t sat so close to her. 

“You never came by.” She sounded genuinely sad, so much so that it threw Ellie off. 

“I got busy.” Ellie wanted this to be over so badly.

“With my ex? If you two are playing the long game it isn’t going to work. I don’t care.” Cat replied, anger almost evident in your voice. 

“How is my relationship about you?” This time Ellie turned towards Cat, closing the journal in your hands.

“It’s obvious what you guys are doing. This little act to make me upset, yeah, it’s not working. You’re both my exes for a reason” She spat.

“Not everything is about you. She doesn’t even know I’m your ex, you have never come up in our conversations.” Ellie was getting annoyed, but instead Cat just laughed, something sinister filling her eyes.

“Oh, you don’t know?” Cat snorted.

“Know what?” Ellie questioned, trying to keep the anger in her voice to a minimum. 

“She hated you, Ellie. Thought you were the one I left her for. Technically she was right, but she called me to curse me out about it. Showed me the birthday post I made you with literal tears in her eyes.” 

And if Ellie’s heart was broken by Cat, it was absolutely shattered by you.

ai audios:

i've reached my daily limit for audios (tumblr hates happy people) so i have attached them as links this time.. cause i did not work so hard on them for them not to be posted.

oh i just wanted to talk about yesterday

i just i think when i met you it scared me

they're good fingers, right?

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x reader smut #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fan fic #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams oneshot #modern!ellie williams #college!ellie williams #ellie williams one shot

[azulsluver]

I’m boutta hop on the anons submission on the bully AU, when the MC disappears for two weeks and come backs, they’re all like “yeah, I decide to leave for a bit and spend time with my boyfriend at Royal Sword academy. Sorry for the absence, I couldn’t deny his needs.’’ Just for funnies, just to mess with them for a bit. If they go low, MC goes lower.

Will this damage them for life? No, but will it leave a small burn at least? Yes, at least for a few. Who knows, maybe some will try to get back at you for doing that 🥰

I can definitely see Idia putting a tractor in your phone just in case you try to take off location (maybe he’ll put a few cameras in RSA) Ace, Ruggie, Deuce riddle, Sebek, Kalim calling you a whore for being with another man (They’re heartbroken and sobbing) Malleus, Jamil, Azul, Jack are now uptight abt where you are going, Vil body slamming you for uttering another man’s existence around his god-complex presence, Floyd threatening to break your legs, etc, the list is endless ^ - ^

Jade, Lilia, maybe Leona, maybe Rook, Trey, and cater will purposely hook up with other people right in front of you while simultaneously insulting you (this all fun and games)

escaping will not be so easy, especially with all the eyes watching your every step. Give a small indication that you are gonna try to leave again and they will pounce.

Also, this bring up the other topic abt bully AU, everyone at NRC is a jackass but what about Che’nya and Neige? I’d like to imagine there just as bad, maybe even worse but they deny those accusations bc they’re supposed to be the “handsome knights that save the princess from the ugly monsters.✨’’ what makes it worse tho compared to NRC is everyone believes them, even the Staff. I mean, why shouldn’t they trust the sweetest most beautiful model in the world and a friendly extroverted cat!

just gonna...ramble with you on this yummy take..

tw. bully!characters, yandere, possessive/obsessive behavior, stalking, mild violence, slut shaming, isolation, stockholm syndrome(?).

The energy and guts you must have to pull a petty move by disappearing just to hang out with snotty white uniformed men. It hurts their ego so badly killing you may or may have been an accident.

Sometimes they would have to pull some extreme measures. Say if you left the campus with your phone you’ll be easily tracked down. Or maybe someone from the town saw you and ratted you out. What if you didn’t take your phone?; Idia had already placed a microchip inside your flesh. So there’s a possible chance he can hear every conversation you’re having with whoever you’re talking. Talk about controlling your life to a whole new level.

Sass talking is prohibited, but some love it because it gives them a reason to be violent with you. You have no self respect so why are you prancing and buttering up to these white knights? It’s not a fairy tail that five year old you would dream about, so prepared for any misdeeds. And misdeeds they were right.

You won’t be in a good headspace after fleeing to RSA. It’s all made up in your head that these people are good and can help you get away. But their kind smiles don’t reassure you. How tight their grips on your hands and shoulders are as they beg you to stay in RSA. Their behavior is all too similar to how they treated it, making you miss them. Miss that feeling of sadness being washed by their cruel love. Was it even love?

You’ll come crawling back to them in shame, because you couldn’t face Neige’s fake persona, reminding you too much of Vil. It lacked the genuine charm. Or how Goldy used you for things to get out of, Ace and Deuce were already a handful and it made your head explode. Everything will remind you of them, their hands and words were first to corrupt your own.

Think again about leaving, because you won’t anytime soon. After everyone has come to a conclusion that you need a babysitter 24/7….even during night hours. Until they see improvement will they let the freedom of “peace”. Rare but who are you to complain.

Now Malleus and Kalim are going to be clingier than ever, you’ve unlocked a sense of fear—they don’t wish to be abandoned by you, or the thought of you doing so in general. It’s humiliating and not their style, makes them lack control. Luckily they’re really good at deceiving people, but you’re not off the hook for Sebek. All types of names are thrown at you. Dirty, dirty, filthy you. His yelling is enough to make you cry because you’re convinced it’s true! You are dirty!

Jade and Trey are the first to blow a towel over your form, give you a sense of comfort until it’s ripped away. Can’t you how much they love this person? It can be you if you’ve behaved, but you want to wag your tail like a dog and catch a bone with those RSA students. They’ll bring it up every time you argue with them. They’ve been nothing but loyal and doing what’s best for you. So don’t come crying when another person skimpily leaves their room all satisfied.

Do this type of attic with them and it’s over. Complete isolation. No talking to anyone. Hell you’re gonna be trapped in a cell or room for months and months. Only ever seeing them. Just them entering to give you breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Leaving without a word. Until you fully understand that speaking with any other person can be the downfall of your social life.

More rambles about visiting RSA tho xP

Never ever mention Neige in front of Vil, that’s like a death wish and so so petty move. It hits all the spots including his insecurities and overthinking. He’s done everything to be perfect and you still went to see that twerp!! The audacity!! Swear you’ll be leaving his room all bruised and tired, his magic healing any open wounds but leaving the flesh to swell under your skin. You look awful, ugly even. Epel and Rook will gladly bring you back to Vil if they catch you with Neige or the dwarfs.

Going anywhere under their supervision is impossible, Rook placing his unique magic on you so he knows whether you were lying or not.

My gosh Floyd threatening to break your legs is so silly because he does it on a daily. Stop angering him and maybe it wouldn’t happen (eyeroll emoji..). Even Jamil will break your legs on command, usually he’ll do it when sees fit. Bad dogs get left outside to think about what they’ve done, and yes, they did leave you outside before when it was storming to teach you a lesson.

Thinking bout Azul spewing ink from his lips when angered or stressed out. You’re giving him even whiter hair than he has. Too many people at RSA are pure evil. He doesn’t care about you yet you’re the main problem on why any RSA student can just barge in and ruin everyone’s career. He may be over exaggerating but it’s for a good reason. Azul has made some uh, clients in RSA. He doesn’t wanna ruin it because you can’t seem to keep your emotions in checked, and your legs closed…(omg he didn’t say that stoppp)

Arf arf Leona in his cheating era. What am I saying you guys aren’t even official. No one is. But they still like the thought that you’re basically NRC property until graduation. Even after graduation you’ll be passed like a old toy, forced to be fixed and brought anew until it’s time to switch. Leona is one of the closest people you can go to for comfort, not the best option but not the worst. The reason it’s not the best is his addiction to getting you through jealously. Once Leona understands you have fallen victim to Stockholm syndrome does he bring randoms into his bed. He gives a show of softened you’ll never revive until he’s certain to claim you. But it’ll never happen. Not ever with you.

Lawd did this whole petty stuff start all of this? Yes it did now enjoyz more content.

#ଘrambles #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #bully!au #riddle rosehearts x reader #trey clover x reader #cater diamond x reader #deuce spade x reader #ace trapolla x reader #leona kingsholar x reader #jack howl x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader #jamil viper x reader #kalim al asim x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #rook hunt x reader #epel felmeir x reader #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia x reader #sebek zigvolt x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader

[spinningwebsandtales]

Imagine Gojo Convincing You To Sneak Out Of The Dorms

Gojo Satoru X FemReader

Rating: G

Warnings: Breaking the rules with Gojo, fluff

Word Count: 1.2k

Part 2: here

(A/N:) I don’t know about y’all but I am LOVING the new season of Jujutsu Kaisen! I read the manga and keep up with all the chapters coming out but this was what I was most excited to see come to life. The arc that delves into the past is my top favorite and I love seeing student Gojo. So be prepared for some more Gojo fics and I even have a couple Toji fics lined up as well. If Gojo didn’t exist in the JJK universe I think I’d be a Toji fangirl through and through. Anyway I had to write this and sorry for my absence here lately hopefully that’ll make up for it! Until next time happy reading! ~Countess

You should have been asleep hours ago, but for some reason all you could do was lay in bed and look at the ceiling. The alarm clock at your bedside glowing in the darkness, reminding you of every minute that went by that you needed to get some sleep. Your frustrations grew when the time turned one in the morning and still sleep evaded you. You finally set up, the blankets bunching at your waist before reaching for the lamp at your bedside. You couldn’t even turn the switch when tapping came from your dorm window. You jumped, squeaking in surprise. With a trembling hand you turned on the lamp to spy a head of silvery white hair behind the glass. Gojo waved wildly, grinning like the cat that got the cream as he spotted you, wide awake. His ever present sunglasses reflecting the lamplight when you got up and walked to the window. He backed up giving you enough room to open it and peek your head out.

“What are you doing,” you seethed as you wanted to shout but had to stick with whispering angrily. “You scared me half to death!”

“Can’t sleep,” he asked while moving his body back and forth. It reminded you of rice moving in the wind. You snorted at the thought, as Gojo was slim and tall like rice. He cocked his head but you waved his curiosity away.

“No and now I really won’t be able to with my adrenaline going crazy thanks to you.”

“Let’s sneak out.”

Of course you should have known not to expect an apology from Gojo Satoru. You believed that he would burst into flames if he said ‘I’m sorry’. It wasn’t the powerful sorcerer in training’s style. But you found yourself drawn to him anyway as deep down despite his cocky attitude and devil may care attitude he was a good person. He would make a great teacher if he didn’t get kicked out from his incessant shenanigans first. You couldn’t believe the principal hadn’t gotten rid of him yet. Though you were sure it’s because Satoru was from the Gojo clan with a sprinkle of their teacher protecting him.

“No,” you answered your patience running short. “I’m sick of getting in trouble because of you.”

“We’ll be extra careful,” Gojo replied. “Those other times were just flukes.”

“And I’m sure leaving me alone to take the brunt of the blame was just a fluke too,” you retorted. “I’m not taking the fall for you anymore Satoru Gojo.”

You were about to shut the window in his face when he snagged the frame with his hand. His blue eyes staring straight through you as his sunglasses had slipped down his nose. You sucked in a breath as he grinned.

“We both know you ratted me out every time,” Gojo replied. You tried to pull the window close but his grip was firm and wouldn’t budge.

“I still got in trouble,” you said. There was no reason in lying to him as Gojo knew everything that happened in the school. And you weren’t ashamed at throwing him under the bus. It helped take your punishment down a notch. So if it helped you out and got the reason behind your bad behavior punished further, so be it. Gojo would do the same thing in the situation, if he actually cared about getting into trouble.

“C’mon,” he purred, “let’s go to the beach. You can’t sleep anyway.”

The beach did sound fun and despite yourself you felt your willpower beginning to flounder at every word and every glance in those heavenly blue eyes.

“Why don’t you go bother Geto,” you groaned. He chuckled before giving you a quick peck on the cheek. It stunned you but you didn’t let Gojo see how much the affection effected you. Climbing out of the window you stood beside your partner in crime within seconds. Your lamp still glowing on your bedside and the window ajar, you gently closed it back but not latching it. If you couldn’t get back into your room and you would have to bunk with Satoru and he wouldn’t let you sleep at all if you ever grew tired.

The city was asleep as you both rarely came across another person on the sidewalk you traversed. The ones you did run into turned out to be drunk office workers on their way home from drinking with their coworkers. Gojo would make fun of their stumbling gates as they passed by, which had you giggling into your hand. The air had a chill and you shivered at the icy breeze that passed through your night clothes. Despite acting like he didn’t care majority of the time about others unless ordered to, Gojo stepped closer every time pulling you into his side. His body though tall and lanky was well built and you blushed at the feeling of his toned form pressed against you. You only shoved him away after you warmed up and couldn’t take your burning cheeks anymore.

When you began to hear the waves lapping at the sandy shore did you take off running. Gojo quickly caught up and you both raced to the water. Of course he won and you wound up having to catch your breath halfway there. He teased you kicking at the water while all you could do was glare in his direction, which only made the young sorcerer laugh harder at your plight. Before you could finish regaining your strength, Gojo dashed across the sand again scooping you up and then running back to the water. You were sure he was going to throw you into the salty waves, but surprisingly he set you down gently in the sand. The lights of ships in the distance filled the night and the dock lights illuminated the golden sand. You breathed in deeply, filling your senses with fresh air. Though you knew if the principle found out you both had snuck out...again... you would be in horrible trouble you were glad you both snuck out. Your body wouldn’t allow you to sleep anyway and the atmosphere that surrounded the beach always soothed you no matter what. 

Gojo was quiet for the longest time letting you soak in the calming surroundings in peace. When you sighed and your shoulders drooped, he silently took your hand. You glanced up at the young man that was just a little older than you, his blue eyes glancing down at you. An unfamiliar light glimmered, but you couldn’t bring yourself to question it. You were about to say something when an enraged voice called from the docks. Both your names echoed across the water and your blood froze. Foiled again and it didn’t take long for Gojo to revert back to normal Gojo, except this time when he took off running you were in tow. Your feet churned up sand and you could barely keep up, but as the adrenaline surged you found yourself laughing in amusement. Gojo laughed with you as you both ran to make your escape. The thought of going back never crossed your mind as you lost yourself enjoying the escape that Gojo talked you into. You gripped his hand tighter and willed yourself to run faster, keeping up with his longer legs while the teachers tried their best to keep up. You were glad that you weren’t able to sleep as you would have missed this with him.

#Gojo Satoru X Reader #Satoru Gojo X Reader #Satoru Gojo #Jujutsu Kaisen #Gojo Satoru Imagine #Jujutsu Kaisen Imagine #Imagine #Not My Gif #My Writing

[copperbadge]

I am now home, fed, rested, and festooned in cats. 

I had a lot of opinions about the case I was jury on, but I don’t know how much of it I’ll write up; I kept a kind of disjointed journal, but it’s not super coherent. Turns out if I don’t document my thoughts in real time I get bored of my own mind very quickly. 

We were jury for a complicated medical civil case; we heard testimony from six doctors and two nurses and saw so much imaging. I’m sure the plaintiff suing the medical center had bigger concerns, and it’s not like you get detail with the internal imaging we had to examine, but it must have been rough on him that in the course of learning about his injuries, which were on his lower body, we also had to look at multiple images of his dick. It certainly startled me when I realized what we were seeing for the first time.  

Most of the trial I was kind of okay with just keeping things to myself, writing and thinking about it privately, but I was dying inside that I couldn’t talk to you guys until now about the asshole juror I mentioned earlier. I had intended to use writing about him as a safety valve -- a sort of “Hey I can’t talk about the trial but wait till you hear what That Guy did today” -- but uh. 

So I didn’t actually bully anyone off a jury, but for the rest of my life I am definitely going to claim I did. 

The second day of trial, the bailiff grabbed me before trial and said the judge wanted to talk to me; I thought I was in trouble but it turns out that he wanted to know about my interactions with the other juror. Apparently the bailiff had seen me step in when he was pestering a fellow (female) juror the previous day. Later he got super aggressive with the bailiff herself, and I guess she saw me watching and gauging whether to step in then, too. (I didn’t end up getting involved because she handled him just fine and also she has a gun.) 

The judge questioned me about what I’d seen and done and why I’d done it, and then informed me he was removing the juror from the case based on what I’d told him about the man’s behavior. I’m given to understand there may be a charge of contempt of court and a fine, but I’m not clear on the details and it appears I won’t have to get involved further.

But yeah, that’s why you didn’t hear any more about him. Realistically he was removed for harassment, but I like to think a small part of it is that I fucked with him so visibly and thoroughly that they knew “this jury box isn’t big enough for the both of us.” 

Anyway, I’m glad it’s over. I would have liked to have spoken to the plaintiff and his wife after the verdict and expressed my sympathy for what they’d gone through, but I think perhaps understandably they didn’t want to linger. Besides, we found in his favor; he seemed pleased with the outcome and his wife was happy-crying as we left, so I expect the message was understood. 

My job is not exactly mindless, but it also doesn’t usually involve paying hardcore attention to complex medical testimony for six hours a day. I am exhausted. Fortunately this weekend is relatively laid back -- my only commitment is to a Pride beach party tomorrow, and I’ve used some of my jury pay to purchase one of those pop-up shade tents, so the plan is to sit in the shade with snacks and beverages and be the Beach Dad. 

#archive

[cherryredstars]

CONGRATS ON 1k!!!

You writing is truly incredible, you deserve all the love and support!!

If it’s okay, can you write Simon Riley with the prompt ‘reader is sick’? I’d love the comfort after I embarrassed myself by passing out in uni a few days ago because I neglected myself and didn’t wanna be marked as absent,,

I saw that you already wrote this prompt with O’hara. And I wasn’t sure if it was allowed to also request it with ghost, so pls don’t feel pressured to write this and I am sorry if it’s against the rules

Than you in advance, and again congrats!! I wish you the best!!

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x gn!reader

Warnings: Fluff, Mentions of Self-Neglection/Passing Out

Summary: The best way to be brought back to health.

A/N: Simon is so!!!! I love him guys!!!

Word Count: 1.1K (Not Edited)

“Don’t look at me.”

You turn away from Simon, a small pout on your face and a sniffle to try to unblock your nose. He’s giving you that look. The one that is supposed to make you feel guilty by not directly making you feel guilty. It screams of disappointment and a lecture in the near future. He huffs out, something mixed with annoyance and amusement before you feel the bed dip. You try to push his hand out of your face, looking like a feral cat as you try to slap it away. His strength easily overpowers yours, but he lets you have your moment in hopes of tiring you out enough to coax you into a nap. When he deems it an appropriate enough time to look like you put up a decent fight, he easily knocks your hands away and presses the back of his hand to your forehead. 

It’s warm, too warm, even for Simon. He tries to hide the grimace that forms on his face but you catch it. You groan, flipping over onto your stomach to bury your face into the pillow. Simon tsks, grabbing the pillow out from under you. Your head hits the mattress whipping your head to the side to glare at him. He glares right back, not backing down from this silent challenge you’ve created. 

“Nough, love. You’re already having trouble breathin’ as it is without you suffocating ‘rself.” 

You continue your glaring pout, even as he gently slips his hand under your head to lift it so he can place the pillow back under you. Your face only softens when he starts to push your hair away from your forehead, pressing a kiss to the heated skin. You sigh sadly, body sinking into the mattress. Your whole body aches, muscles protesting with each movement. Your head is the same, a slight pounding at your temple that is only dulled by pain medicine. Simon coos gently at you as he pulls away, mumbling something about getting you something warm to eat. Before he leaves, he tucks the blanket tight around you. 

You sigh as you wait for him, hearing the chatter of pans as he heats up soup. He comes back a few minutes later, a steaming mug in his hand. You expect it to be tea, but you’re overjoyed to find hot cocoa. When you try to reach for it, he pulls it back quickly with a glare. 

“Hot.” he scolds, gently giving it to you again. “And it’s water, not milk.”

That slightly deflates you, but a win is a win. You rather have watery hot chocolate than his bitter earl grey. You hum in thanks, watching him leave again as you take a sip. Your face scrunches up when you pull the mug away, swallowing quickly as you shake your head. It is very hot and you’re sure every nerve on your tongue withered away. Simon returns with a bowl of soup, making your stomach rumble at the thought of food. You prepare to take it, but Simon shakes his head at you. He swirls the spoon around, taking some and holding it steadily to your mouth. 

You frown at him, and don’t meet his eyes as you take the soup into your mouth. It’s good, really good, but the taste is spoiled with your attitude. Or rather, Simon’s attitude. He’s mad. He doesn’t seem mad with his lovey dovey behavior and feeding, but he is. You know him. This is gentle punishment. Him taking overly good care of you to make up for the fact you aren’t taking care of yourself. Hint, the reason why you’re home sick after passing out. 

As he prepares another spoonful of soup, you sniffle. “Sorry.”

He pauses for a second, before feeding you another spoonful. Even with your eyes downcast, he can tell they're glassy. He sighs, lowering the bowl of soup for a moment. His hand finds your jaw. He doesn’t lift your head up, he pulls your face closer to him to press a kiss into your hair. You relax into the affection, sniffing once again. 

“Just want you to take care of ‘urself, love. That’s all,” He grumbles into your hair, thumb gently rubbing your skin. 

He pulls away, switching the mug and bowl. The bowl is warm in your hands, and you look up as Simon places the mug on the nightstand where you can easily reach it. He settles next to you on the bed, silently watching you as you eat. It makes your stomach warm, and you sigh contently when you finish. Simon takes the bowl from you, giving back your mug. The cocoa is cooler now, but still warm. You gulp it down greedily, stomach feeling overly full. You push the mug onto the bedside table, snuggling back into the blankets when Simon returns. 

He hums, observing the way your eyes begin to flutter in preparation to sleep. He taps your cheek gently, and you scrunch your nose up as you spot the medicine in his hands. You try to squirm away from him, but he cages you in between his legs. You glare up at him as he shoves the medicine to your mouth. You turn your head away, but his other hand grips your jaw and holds your mouth open. You have a pleading look in your eyes that he ignores, pouring the medicine into your mouth. You gag as you’re forced to swallow, greedily taking the small bottle of water Simon offers you. You gulp it down, washing away the sour taste. You finish the whole bottle and throw it at Simon, which he only rolls his eyes too. 

“I thought you weren’t mad at me! Stop punishing me already!”

Simon only gives you a deadpan look, shaking his head. “Go to bed, darling. Need the rest. Eyes are practically sinkin’ into your ‘ead and you're becoming delusional.”

You huff out, but listen. You sink into the pillows, your headache and nose finally calming down enough to sleep comfortably. Simon places another pillow under your head, moving around you silently to clean up the mess or dishes and trash. Before he goes, you take his wrist in your hand. He turns to look at you curiously, and you blink and smile sluggishly up at him. 

“Thank you, Si. Love you.”

Simon’s eyes soften and he leans down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead again. You close your eyes, and they refuse to open again even after he pulls away. You can vaguely feel the warmth of his palm on your cheek, and you snuggle into it. He rubs at the skin gently before pulling away, and three words break through your mind before you fall asleep. 

“Love you, too.”

#cherry's requests🍒 #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #cod x reader #call of duty #ghost cod #ghost call of duty #cod ghost #cod mwii #mw2 ghost #ghost mw2

[would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend]

Is purugly a good pet?

Puruglies would indeed make good pets… for the right kind of owner. You see, I had to give this one a lower score than the A-equivalent “Just a Cat” score that many feline-like pokémon recieve for a few reasons, one of which being their size.

Whereas this species’ pre-evolution glameow is a very manageable housecat-like size, puruglies weigh in at a much sturdier 96 pounds! That is significantly heavier than any breeds of real-world cats, which brings with it a whole different suite of issues. For one, a nearly 100 pound pokémon would need a lot more food than smaller animals or pokémon, which may make caring for a purugly much more expensive than many owners would expect. That extra size allows puruglies to throw their weight around more successfully. While this species is by no means an alpha predator, they’re fairly likely to get violent with you if you don’t give them what they want.

Puruglies, to put it simply, just aren’t very nice. Described in the pokédex as “brazen brutes” (Diamond), puruglies like to take what they want and to be seen as intimidating and powerful (or “large and in charge”, you might say) by those around them. In the wild, puruglies are known to take over other pokémons’ nests through brute force, making themselves seem more intimidating with its large size and ceaseless, angry glare (Pearl, Platinum). Interestingly, puruglies have been observed making themselves seem larger to smaller pokémon by cinching their waist using their tails (Pearl)! Due to their selfish, dominating personalities, puruglies have been called “difficult to tame” since over a century ago (Legends: Arceus). That being said, we have a far better understanding of pokémon behavior and training today. It’s completely possible that, so long as you provide them with the comfort they want and sufficient space, a purugly would be a perfectly manageable pet. Just don’t be surprised when they tend to hog the couch!

As normal-type pokémon, puruglies thankfully don’t pose too large a treat to humans. In combat, they mostly use physical moves that make use of their claws and weight to bash enemies into submission. Despite their large size for a cat-like pokémon, puruglies’ claws aren’t too much to be concerned about. That, combined with their having such a small bite, I’d guess that these pokémon are less dangerous than a large real-world dog. The only move I’d really bring up as a concern is Hypnosis, which allows them to use their intimidating stare to put you to sleep. This could be pretty dangerous in certain circumstance, and incredibly inconvenient in many.

All this being said, puruglies are certainly manageable if you know what you’re getting into. If you’re looking for a more sweet and snuggly cat-like pokémon, however, I might look elsewhere. As a final note (which I didn’t know quite where to put in the post), puruglies’ fur is very pretty. Researchers in the past claimed that their fur was even more appealing than velveteen (Legends: Arceus).

#pokémon #pokemon #purugly #pkmn irl #pr-c

[katesmemes]

feel free to change any pronouns, etc.

“C’mon now, [Name], lets keep moving.”

“It’s always just been me and [Name].”

“I need you to tell me everything that happened.”

“That’s a lot of money to owe…”

“Just what did you get yourself involved in?”

“Are you in town for a business trip, maybe?”

“Well, when your own life is that dull, you need to get your excitement somewhere…”

“Now, don’t you think you’re overreacting?”

“This is exactly the kind of behavior [Name] warned me about.”

“She’s just the worst to every girl she perceives as a threat.”

“So… You’re saying I’m not a threat?”

“I know there’s more to you than meets the eye.”

“I have to get back to work.”

“You don’t seem to care whether I’m happy.”

“Curiosity killed the cat…”

“I’m not used to having people around me while I work.”

“Hey, come on, don’t leave me hanging!”

“I’m sorry to add to your plate, but…I really need your help.”

“Are you telling me I should snoop around?”

“Ah, c’mon, a little joke’s never killed anyone.”

“Although it may seem like it, I’m not actually clairvoyant.”

“I’d forget my own head if I didn’t write everything down.”

“The way they look at each other, you can tell it’s the real deal.”

“Maybe it’s because my empathy only goes so far, but… I admire that you’re able to feel for just about anyone.”

“I don’t think I get along with everyone, but some people are worth getting friendlier with…like you.”

“The way you turned that compliment right back around at me, was…masterful.”

“I bet you could make anything look good.”

“Just what could’ve made you empty out your entire bank account?”

“I’ve never seen two people more suited for each other.”

“I need to know I can count on you.”

“Don’t you have work to do?”

“I think my heart stopped beating there for a moment.”

“If you weren’t so pretty, you’d have been out of a job a long time ago.”

“What the hell are you going on about?”

“Always a pleasure doing business with you, [Name].”

“I hope I didn’t get you into too much trouble earlier…”

“I guess the heart wants what the heart wants…”

“Adults can be so…confusing.”

“I can’t believe it all ends here.”

“Thank you for not giving up.”

“I would never give up on you.”

“Come on, you know I wouldn’t let you down.”

“I’m not sure I understand what the plan is here.”

“I enjoy the occasional, artistic endeavor.”

“I feel like I’m in one of those novels I spend my days reading.”

“I just love trying new things.”

“I could not have done this without you.”

“I’m glad I was able to be of some help.”

“Thank you for everything.”

“Hey, just because I read books doesn’t mean I know everything.”

“That’s a lot sweeter than I expected.”

“I do like a happy ending.”

“We could leave together if you’d like.”

“Even the most put-together person could be an absolute mess on the other side of the door.”

“I like to think that, with me, what you see is what you get.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to bring the lights back on.”

“Hey, you look a bit pale…”

“Is everything okay?”

“you’re not scared of the dark, are you?”

“Maybe you need to sit down, huh?”

“You look like you’re about to faint.”

“We’ll figure something out.”

“Maybe don’t mention that to the police.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before.”

“I’m…ashamed of the truth.”

“Maybe now you can understand why I care so much about you…”

“I’d really like for us to be more than just friends, [Name]...”

“Promise me you’ll be careful with the information you share.”

“Sorry, I was…distracted.”

“I really need you to focus right now.”

“I don’t want to be here all night, and I’m sure you don’t either.”

“I suggest you tell me everything you know.”

“We all struggle sometimes.”

“There was no point in staying if you were leaving.”

“I’m flattered, but that really wasn’t necessary.”

“You’re the most charming person I know!”

“I’m really glad I have you in my life.”

“Sorry, my mind wanders sometimes.”

“Should I be jealous?”

“I just want them to be happy…”

“What the hell’s going on?”

“You can’t do this!”

#rp meme #roleplay meme #rp starter sentences #rp starters #starter sentences #rp sentence starters #roleplay starters #sentence starters #ask prompt #ask meme #video game sentence starters #this bed we made sentence starters #this bed we made starter sentences

[obsessivevoidkitten]

A Heroic Failure

Yandere Male Super Villain x Gender Neutral Super Hero Reader (CW: Stalking, kidnapping, general yandere behavior) Word count: 460 (I wrote this in like 23 minutes and y’all just know I looooove writing stories with cute misunderstandings so when this popped into my head I just had to make a tiny fic about it, hope everyone enjoys!)  You were a super hero and you had to find the identity of your super villain rival and you had a very strong hunch. You were 99 percent sure of it. So you snuck into the suspect’s house for proof they were indeed your arch nemesis. You indeed find confirmation that they are the super villain but you find something far more concerning as well. A shrine to you. Newspaper clippings, photos, merchandise, weird for a villain, but nothing too out of the ordinary for a rabid fan. Maybe he was just obsessed with beating you. But as you look you notice another wall full of things too. Full of photographs... and not in your hero disguise... pictures of your home, and your pet cat... He was probably going to assassinate you any day now! But... why did he had your dirty underwear and laundry. Oh god he had been IN your house not just outside it. Your stomach turned, this was far worse than anything you could have imagined. He clearly wanted far more from you than your death. And that’s when it happened. The light switched on. There he was smiling that psychotic smile of his. “I thought I’d have to steal you away, I didn’t know you felt the same as I did!” He took a step forward. “Wh-what? What do you mean?” This villain was obviously deranged. “There’s no need to deny it! That’s why you broke in right? To get souvenirs from my home??” He smiled unblinking, staring at you with a creepy intensity that made you shiver. “No! What? That’s crazy, I came here for-” You had taken a step forward as you spook and then heard the sound of air being released, about to physically confront him but you fell forward unconscious. He had learned he could knock you out and disable your powers by doing research on DNA samples and a special gas made from a rare flower. He had planned to use it to kidnap you and then keep you here, he had it installed in the vents in case you ever tried to escape after he “brought you home.” But you had come to him willingly, clearly just as in love with him as he was with you. He thought he would have to make you love him but it was just so obvious you already did. Breaking into his home, rummaging through his stuff for some goodies to take, you were just too shy and got embarrassed when you got caught was all. He picked you up gently and held you blissfully in his strong arms. It’s okay that you were still getting over your shyness and denial, he now had all the time in the world to get you over it.

#yandere villain #yandere villain x reader #yandere villain gender neutral reader #yandere drabble #my oc

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

could i request some chris pontius or steveo x shy reader? where maybe it's her first day on set and she like works in makeup and he's just flirting w her making a blushing mess lol tysm

Cat and Mouse

Y/N gets her first real job and gets caught up in a romance she could have never imagined!

Steve-O X Fem!Reader

(Fluff)

2.8k Words

Warnings: Suggestive content, slowburn, flirting, teasing, crude language, drinking, accidental injuries, praise, stalkerish behavior from Y/N if you squint

An: Thank you so much for the request!! Finals hav been kicking my ass lately but I somehow managed to crank this one out XD There’s something about the dynamic of this fic that just enchanted me and I would be more than happy to write this kind of fic for some of the other guys! I’d especially love to see what would play out with Johnny, but maybe that’s a little self indulgent X) Anyways, as always, my requests are open and I’m still accepting fic requests for my 100 follower special, so keep sending them in!! I have a few good ones of my own coming down the pipeline so keep your eye out! ;)

It was your first day on set, so it was understandable that you were nervous as you walked into the trailer on the Paramount lot, your makeup kit in tow. All you were told when you first got the job was where you would report to and that you would be working on a movie set- that’s it. Kinda sketchy but hey, maybe it’s a privacy thing. It was just you in the makeup trailer as you collected yourself, taking a deep breath as you flipped the bright white vanity lights on and started to set up your gear on the counter.

You were so immersed with arranging brushes and products that you didn’t even hear the trailer door open as your client walked in, only being alerted to his presence as you felt the foldy director’s chair he was sitting in shift a little as he took a seat. Holy shit. Speechless, you blinked a few times, trying to register who you were looking at- not that you didn’t know him, it’s just this was too good to not be some dream. “Are- are you Steve- O?” He chuckled, flashing you that boyish smile as he sat back in his chair, “In the flesh, baby.”

It was about then when you realized that maybe you were leaning a little too close to him- your boobs were practically squished against the back of his head. He didn’t seem to be that bothered by it, not looking upset in the slightest as you stepped away, blushing. It would be impossible to deny that you’d had a crush on Steve ever since you saw him on TV, back when he was swallowing goldfish for a living, and this first impression wasn't helping the feelings that stirred inside of you.

Trying to distract yourself, you grabbed a shade of concealer that looked like it matched his skin tone to cover up the blotchy mauve shiner that covered nearly a quarter of his face- a product of a movie star lifestyle you could only dream of. “Hey, don’t worry about it.” Steve gestured to the glaring mark with a finger, his voice low, “Kinda wanna keep it there. Looks pretty rad, y’know?” You nodded, the only response your body could give, your eyes wide. He seemed so cool, so calm in comparison to his usual obnoxious stunt dude behavior.

And so you continued with what you were being paid to do, trying your damnedest to stay professional. This was hard, especially when you needed to lean in towards him, maybe four inches away from Steve’s face, tilting his chin up with your left hand to get the angle you needed to look at something or other. Of course, he wasn’t making it easy for you with how he kept catching your gaze the whole time with those sweet eyes of his. Part of you was a little pissed off- what gives him the right to do this? To make you all flustered with nothing but a look- but another part of you was maybe a little too excited at all of this.

A few minutes in the same room as him and you were already wrapped around his finger. Hell, you weren't in the slightest turned off when you caught him stealing glances down your shirt when he thought you weren’t paying attention. Weirdly, you found that kind of endearing, maybe even attractive. Those five minutes in the makeup trailer felt like an eternity and you breathed a sigh of relief as you stood up after you finished your job. Turning around, you went to zip up your case when you heard something behind you, “Hey, what’s your name, makeup lady?” Your heart jumped a little when he spoke up, his raspy voice barely above a whisper. You whipped around, nearly nose to nose with Steve as you avoided looking at him as much as you could, concealing your pink face, “My name’s Y/N.”

You couldn’t see it, but there was a little glint in Steve’s eye when he realized just how much he was affecting you. “Well,” His voice took on a slightly different tone, “I guess I’ll be seeing you around, Y/N.” And just like that, he was gone out the trailer door that he didn’t bother to close on his way out.

And you wished it ended there- that you could just be left alone with your silly schoolgirl crush on the cool movie star, but of course it didn’t. It couldn’t. Of all places, it happened in the white food tent around lunch time. You were going down the line of fold up tables, picking through what the catering services had brought in those silver aluminum pans- chicken, some vedgie thing, and some crinkle fries- when you heard someone call to you from a ways back, “Hey, makeup lady!” Assuming it was some production supervisor (they never seemed to respect you), you rolled your eyes, not even looking back as you replied, “I have a name, you know.”

“Oh yeah! Shit, what was it…Y/N!” Your heart sank when you realized who it was as they slipped in next to you in line. Steve seemed totally unphased, still as friendly as he was before but with a suggestive tone in his voice that made you shiver, “So, how’s your first day goin’? Everyone nice?” He didn’t take anything from the trays as he moved along, seemingly only there to talk to you, “If not, I’ll totally kick their ass.” You hoped Steve didn’t notice how much your hands were shaking as you nodded and smiled, hiding the warmth on your cheeks as you speed walked away with half a plate of food.

He wore that smug ass look on his face with pride as he sat down at the table with the guys like he just won the Super Bowl. Understandably, they were a little confused at his bravado. Johnny wasn't impressed, “What the hell was that?” Steve just grinned as he took a sip of his beer, shooting a glance over to where you were sitting with your back turned to not look conspicuous, “That chick’s in love with me. Watch.” Steve turned his head back and just as he did, you whipped around almost on command to try and catch a glimpse of him with that needy look in your eyes like a lost puppy. Unbelievable. Of course, all the guys besides Steve immediately turned towards you and made eye contact. Faced with this, you were a deer in the headlights, and quickly returned to your food.

Bam chuckled, a sly grin spreading across his lips, “Dude, if she’s got the hots for you that bad, you gotta get that ass!” He spoke as if he was some experienced playboy, but he had no clue. It’s not just about sex- there was a lot more to whatever it was that was going on between Steve and the makeup girl. When broken down, the two of you really wanted the exact same thing, the only difference was that she was too shy to admit it and he wasn’t. It evolved into a hunt- a cat and mouse game. This was more than getting ass. “Whatever, Bam.” Steve rolled his eyes. Ryan leaned to one side to get a better look at you, “Oh yeah- you gotta tap that.” Johnny cracked up at his bluntness and Pontius simply shoveled a bite of food into his mouth, flipping Steve a thumbs up.

You knew it was in violation of your contract but something you weren't proud of inside you compelled you to do it. On the lazy afternoons you weren't doing makeup but you were still on the clock, you found yourself snooping around the set in hope of getting a glimpse of Steve. It wasn't a tall order to blend in with the nameless PAs and set people, so you mostly went unnoticed, ducking behind corners and slipping into empty dressing rooms. Every time you saw Steve chatting with the guys with a beer in hand, or in the middle of a stunt if you were lucky, you had to hold yourself back from giggling like a teenage girl. However, it wasn't always that easy to get your fix.

This routine went on without any hiccups for about a week before a problem was presented. Filming was outside for a stunt involving the Three 6 Mafia, but the dense summer heat was pushed completely out of your mind as you peeked out from behind a white trailer. There, in front of all the cameras, was Dave, Bam, and Steve, filming some bit where Dave eats horse shit. All vomiting aside, the only thing you could see was how cute Steve looked in the little farmer’s outfit that the costume department whipped up. Sweat glistened on his skin under the midday sun as he took off his straw hat, using it to fan himself. It’s rare for a guy to be able to pull off the overalls no shirt look, but he certainly could. Damn.

But just as you were thinking about how you wouldnt mind shucking his corn, you accidentally made eye contact with Bam. Oh shit. There wasn't a way in hell that he didn’t see you. You hadn’t even noticed that you were steadily creeping out from your hiding place until you were far from the safety of the trailer wall, so, acting on prey animal instincts, you ducked behind the nearest object.

“Hmm?” It was only then that you noticed what you ducked behind was a man- Ryan, to be specific. God, if this could get any worse. Drink in hand, he just raised an eyebrow, looking down at the strange scene- you, crouching behind his foldy chair, “Makeup lady?” Oh, you were screwed. You could feel your fingers go numb as you panicked, your fight or flight instincts kicking in as you skirted away, your heart beating out of your chest. Ryan shrugged, taking a sip of his beer.

It was embarrassing how flustered you got around Steve but you just couldn’t help it. You had a lot of time to mull over it before you came into work the next day and it was apparent; something had to happen or else you were sure you would spontaneously combust. The tension was killing you, but there was no way he’d pay you any mind. Immagine a celebrity like him dating- hell, going on a date- with some makeup artist he met on set. Be reasonable, you thought, cleaning off your brushes idly.

Steve strutted into the makeup trailer, cool as ever, “Hey! How’s my favorite girl doin’?” Your knees felt a little weak under you at his words, holding yourself up with one hand on the back of the chair as he sat down. His favorite. No, no, he didn’t mean it like that. No way he would. “I’m, uh- I’m good, yeah.” You hardly noticed the smirk on his lips as you hurried to distract yourself, busying your hands with your brushes to still their nervous shaking. This was not what you needed this early in the morning.

Suddenly, time froze as you heard the hard thwack of your elbow against the side of Steve’s face. Your jaw fell and you stumbled over your words, hurriedly apologizing at your absentmindedness, “O-oh my god! I am so sorry- I can’t believe-“ He was still a little stunned, the mark on his face reddening, when you realized that you had instinctively reached out, gently touching the soreness on his perfect cheekbone out of concern without realizing what you were doing. It was like lightning shot through your fingertips, traveling up your arm, and your face said it all. Steve just smiled that cute, boyish smile, making eye contact for just a second longer than a person normally would, “Hey, it’s cool. I don’t mind.” You felt the tips of your ears get hot as he winked at you, “But hell, you of all people know how’t touch it up.”

Taking a deep breath, you pushed down all your nerves as you cleared your throat and tried to sound confident as you grabbed something to cover up your blunder, “I really liked your performance yesterday.” It was a vain attempt at small talk, sure, but it was something. He looked up at you, “Oh, did you?” There was a funny tone in Steve’s voice- sweet and kinda teasing- that gave you butterflies in your stomach and made you wonder if you were really as sneaky as you thought you were being, “What part did’y like? The puking or me shovin’ stuff in my ass?”

God, how he laughed when Steve saw how embarrassed you got. Stuttering a bit, you tried to come up with an explanation, but he just waved you off, “Ah, I’m just fuckin’ with ya. But I mean, if you wanna watch sometime,” The euphemism wasn't lost on you and he could practically see the thoughts running through your head as he continued, “I could bring you to check out the set sometime.” All you could do was nod. Oh, he knew. And the worst part was he didn’t care.

Steve chuckled as you practically led him around the set. It was like you knew the place because, well, you did, but he pretended not to know about your little stalker activities. While you were busy, Jeff came up and tapped him on the shoulder, “Hey, dude. Rick needs you- something about that rake jump stunt.” And when you looked back from ogling some camera equipment, Steve was gone.

But from across the set, you met eyes with Chris who smiled at you with that dopey grin you’d seen so many times on tv. One week in and you were still getting starstruck. He walked over to you, striking up a conversation, “Hey, Y/N! You know what I heard?” Chris leaned in towards you like he was gonna tell you a secret, shooting a nod towards Steve as he was walking away, “I heard he’s awesome in bed. I mean, that’s what I’ve heard from the ladies.” You could tell that Chris saw this as a perfectly normal conversation topic, but you still got a little flustered, “O-oh, he is?” Chris nodded.

Sitting on camping chairs under one of those fold out tents you see at barbecues, Johnny and Bam watched from afar, cracking open cans of Miller High Life. Bam turned his head to one side like a dog, peering around Chris’ shoulder, “Looks like Pontius is tryin’t steal Steve’s girl.” Johnny chuckled, bringing his can to his lips, “Once he gets his claws in her there’s no way he’ll get her back. We oughta’ go interviene.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a blur of two men who you recognized as Johnny and Bam. Chris waved, “Oh, hey guys! We were just talking about how great Steve is in bed!” He gave Bam a nod, “Isn’t that right?” His eyes went wide for a second before he caught on, “Oh, yeah! He’s, uh- he’s great.” Johnny quirked an eyebrow from behind his sunglasses, “Have you slept with him, Bam?” It was like a Three Stooges bit as Bam rushed to cover his ass, putting his hands up, “No- no! I mean, I heard that he was good.”

“I mean, I’d get it from Chris, but I never expect that from you.” Ignoring Johnny’s teasing, he reached out a hand to you at the perfect time to formally introduce himself, “Hey, I’m Bam. I really like girls.” Eyes wide at all the action that was suddenly happening around you, you just nodded. You couldn’t decide if this was him hitting on you or not when you felt a protective hand on your shoulder as someone spoke from behind you, “Okay, guys. Get lost.” Jumping a little, you turned around and might as well have leapt ten feet off the ground. It was Steve. All the guys joked and dispersed as he spun you around, turning you to face him and that smile that always got to you, “They didn’t say anything bad about me, did they?” You fiddled with one of your nails, looking anywhere but his face as you joked back to try and ease the tension, “Oh, on the contrary!”

Steve smiled, leaning a little bit closer to you as the low tone of his voice slipped into nearly a whisper, “I’m gonna be honest with ya, Y/N. I really like ya.” The way that he could just go out there and say that with such confidence made you break a sweat, and you were practically glued to the ground you stood on as he nearly whispered into your ear, “Let’s get drinks sometime, yeah?” All you could do was nod in response.

#jackass #bam margera #johnny knoxville #ryan dunn #chris pontius #steve o #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #fluff #jackass x reader #steve o x reader #I used to be INCREDIBLY shy irl so Y/N’s behavior is partially based off of me! hehe

[heartbreakgrill]

Delicate: Vessel (Sleep Token); Part 2- "You're in my head..."

The beginning two weeks on tour were spent in the city of London, which I easily grewattached to. For the first handful of days, I fell into a comfortable routine of simplicity- I’d wake with Sam, have breakfast in the hotel with the rest of the band (avoid Oliver); set my sights on a few attractions; spend time in Hyde Park, catching up on my reading list; then return to the hotel in the late afternoon for dinner with Sam and the band. Most often, Oliver wasn’t there for those evening meals, said to be off somewhere, writing music, or having a smoke (thank God). I didn’t see him much outside of those breakfasts considering I was always off doing something and he had rehearsals. And I honestly liked it that way.

During the first two weeks in London, I tried to be nice to Oliver. I’d greet him every day at breakfast with a kind smile, a gentle, “Good morning, Oliver.” And he’d just ignore me. None of the others really considered it, or else I think they’d have said something to him. It was subtle enough that I could only ruminate over it in silence.

But, boy, did I notice the shitty behavior he exhibited towards me, that when I’d laugh too loudly at Max’s jokes or start up a conversation- breathe, basically- Oliver’s shoulders would tense. He’d sigh, just soft enough that I could hear it across the table. And, he’d become distant from the group, eyes glazed over, silent. If someone- other than me- said something to him, he’d respond. But, God forbid he say anything on his own accord.

From what I gathered, he had gotten to know me and, I guess, he just didn’t like me. Why he had covered up the time we had spent together on the roof, I did not know. Why he felt the need to completely ignore me- I really just didn’t understand it. And I didn’t think I wanted to. I was having the time of my life, catching matinees on the West End, spending time in the Natural History Museum, riding the London Eye. I wasn’t going to play cat and mouse or sparring enemies during this time in my life.

Usually, at least, back home, I was always too nervous to go out by myself, afraid I’d see family friends or exes I was trying to avoid. Here, I didn’t have to worry about that. I was a whole new person- a whole new woman. I could go anywhere, do anything, be whoever I wanted. Sure, it was lonely sometimes, shopping or discovering new coffee shops all by myself. But, it was healing, too. I was learning to enjoy my own company.

At the beginning of the second week, however, I had run out of things to do. Due to my newfound luck, rehearsals had ended for the band Saturday, and they had the week off- save for Friday, when they’d perform, and the weekend, when we’d be heading up to Newcastle for the next show. But for now, Sam had an open schedule.

We toured the city together for a few days, spending more time together in those short hours than we had in nearly five years. We had a pretty close relationship, but due to our conflicting schedules and busy lives, it was rare that we found space to be with each other like this. It was cathartic- catching late lunches together, touring museums, art galleries, tourist attractions. Mom would’ve really loved to be there with us, in such a dream city, and I know we both held that thought close to our hearts for the entire week.

I didn’t attend their concert that weekend, involved with my own plans. I wanted to come see them perform at some point, but I almost wanted to spite Oliver by not going, too. It was, after all, his band, his music. So, instead, I planned on going to a local dive bar that was holding an open mic night. In such a vast, diverse city, I was sure to find fun there.

That morning, though, at breakfast, I almost changed my plans.

I sat down beside Sam, a plate of toast and eggs in my hands. Max looked up from his phone, where he had been texting someone, and grinned at me, “Morning, lovely. Sleep okay?’’

I nodded appreciatively, “I’ve gotten used to the time change already.”

“Just wait,” Sam stabbed at his stack of pancakes. “Italy is in a week. It’ll fuck you up again.”

“Oh, it’s worth it. I’ve gotten to do so much these past two weeks. It’s insane.”

Cy took a sip of his coffee before adding in, “Oh, to see London through the eyes of a tourist. I’m sure it’s nothing short of magical.”

“Gonna have a hard time leaving, that’s for sure,” I bit off a piece of toast as I replied.

Oliver and Adam joined us now, Adam rattling off some guitar notes to the singer. Their conversation was just background noise to ours, as Sam then spoke to me, brushing his hands free of crumbs from his toast, “Listen, I have your stage pass in my bag. You have to wear it to get into the venue or go backstage, okay? Don’t lose it. I won’t be able to check my phone much today, so I can’t help you out if you do.”

I looked up from my plate, a guilty frown settling into my face, “Oh. Um…I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m gonna go tonight.”

Everyone turned their attention to me fully, even Oliver, though he seemed to look past my head, avoiding my eyes. Their expressions weren’t necessarily confused, but wondorous, curiously surprised by my declaration.

“You’re not coming?” Max asked, his tone a bit hurt.

I shrugged slowly, “I’m so sorry. I had plans to go out. But, I can- I can always change them-?”

“No, don’t do that,” Cyrus waved me off, defending my choice, “you’re allowed to do your own thing. You’re not obligated to come see us.”

“I mean, I will…eventually. I just…there’s so much I wanna do, ya know?” I stuttered a bit, my face flushed from my guilt. I knew they weren’t mad, but I felt like I was letting them down.

Max pouted as he crossed his arms, “So, we’re just not as important, love? I see how it is. Here I thought we had something special.”

“I’m so sorry! I promise I’ll come to a show sometime. I’ll pencil it into my busy schedu-” I chuckled slightly through my words to make the point that I was being sarcastic. But, then, someone interrupted me.

Everyone glanced at Oliver as he stood, chair scraping against the ground. He was pulling a cigarette from an emptying pack, balancing it between his lips. Then, he walked, so quickly, yet so casually, away from our table, towards the exit.

“Even Ollie’s hurt,” Max pretended to wipe a tear from his eye.

Funny thing is, I don’t think Max was too far off with his observation. Why else had Oliver stormed off like a child, leaving a full plate of food where he had been sitting?

-

Our first travel day was hectic. We had to wake up, bright and early Saturday morning, in order to board the tour buses waiting outside of the hotel. I was a little nervous to spend the next two days inside of the vehicle, eating, sleeping, and basically living within its confines.

But then it came easy. I slept in late, finding my bunk to be a lot more comfortable than it looked. Cy had joined our bus for that first morning, he and Sam working on some drum rhythm for a new song, or something of the sort. On our bus, too, was Ronnie, Sam’s close friend- he insisted- the band’s tour manager, whom I was growing to love.

She was all tattoos, colored hair, and bad-ass energy. She swore like a sailor, said whatever came to mind, and treated the boys like stupid little teenagers. I loved it. I found myself giggling at everything she said, especially when the boys would be too loud at a gas station, and she’d scold them. Whenever Oliver would grace us with his presence on these outings, he’d glare at my laughter, as per usual.

Anyways, I think I was a difficult pill for Ronnie to swallow at first, being so feminine in comparison to her more masculine demeanor. But, we began to really bond that first afternoon on the bus.

While Cy and Sam occupied the back room, drum pads rattling beneath their sticks, Ronnie and I took up the couches towards the front of the bus. I had just gone out for a cup of tea, hoping it would wake me up and encourage me to read or something. Instead, I ended up playing countless rounds of Mario Kart with Ronnie. I was never really into video games, but playing with her was so fun, and we just couldn’t stop. She teased me for being such an amateur, for choosing Princess Peach when she played as Bowser.

But, then we got to talking- about my favorite Taylor Swift songs, ex-boyfriends, childhood trauma. She was wise beyond her years and a comforting, womanly presence to have.

“Sam told me a little bit, but I never got the full picture. What are you going to school for?”

I glanced over at her, nearly crashing my kart because of the sharp corner I had to cut. “Oh, yeah, um…counseling. To get my LPC, so I can practice.”

“A woman in STEM,” she nodded slowly, a slight smile on her face. Her eyes were focused on the tv screen, but they held a glint of humor. “Hey, I respect it. That’s a difficult job. You like it so far?”

“I liked undergrad,” I shrugged. “I’m kind of scared about my master’s, though.”

She elbowed me softly, in an attempt to offer up some semblance of encouragement, “Don’t be. You’re not dumb. You’ll figure it out.” She was the type of person to not really compliment others, so it was sweet that she was trying for me, someone she barely even knew.

“Thank you,” I grinned over at her as our match ended.

She met my eye, fought back the wide smile itching at her face, and rolled her eyes, “Cmon, peaches. I wanna kick your ass on rainbow road.”

We continued on bantering, chatting about whatever came to mind. I knew then that she’d be a rock to turn to this summer, this suspicion exemplified by the fact that she even said she’d listen to one of the songs I mentioned, though she was a metal-lover, through and through. I was becoming like an exception to everyone, a bright, soft spot of sunshine in the black-clothed masses of this touring crew. It was heartwarming to be so beloved, even if no one would say those words directly (besides Max, of course).

So, what if Oliver didn’t like me? All of his fucking friends did.

-

So, things were coming up Daisy. I was making friends- most notably, Max, Cyrus, and Ronnie. Sam was right- Cy was incredibly smart. We spent a lot of time on the bus that weekend- and the next, when we traveled further up England- discussing school, psychological theories, cognitive studies. He knew a lot about a lot and it was stimulating to get to have such intelligent conversations.

Max was a handful, of course. Again, Sam being right- Max loved to flirt with me. I think it got on my brother’s nerves, but I found it to be a fun little game. At breakfast, back in London, he’d greet me every morning with a pleasant grin, a compliment on my hairstyle for the day or my lip stick color.

Of course, it would be followed by, “Would look better on me.” To which, I would laugh hysterically and Sam would try to fling eggs at his boss.

When this particular flirtation had been spent, I glanced around the group, giggling, when my eyes landed on Oliver. He was actually looking up, and at one point, he met my eyes. My bright grin did not falter, not until his lingering stare turned into a roll in his eyes. He looked back down at his phone and I decided then and there that I would not spend another minute ruminating on him and his negative energy.

Adam and I got along, but we weren’t super compatible, which I didn’t mind. Not everyone always matched with one another. We shared pleasant greetings and didn’t mind sitting next to each other at breakfast. He seemed to just keep to himself most of the time, anyways. Not that he didn’t spend time with the group. He just- was quiet, reserved.

We’d finished up the tour dates scheduled in England during those first three weeks. It had felt like a year long journey but, in reality, they’d only performed about six concerts in that time. We still had two and a half months to go. I was elated. Time on the bus was relaxing, passing by quicker than I thought it would. Though Cy’s bunk was on the other bus, he spent most of his time with us, with Sam. Max would even bus hop, opting for group movie nights with us or games of poker. We sometimes roped Adam into it, but Oliver never budged. His band mates would call him lame, tease him for being such a n introvert, but gave up once he’d roll his eyes at them.

I wondered how they put up with his shitty attitude all the time. It must be frustrating, this annoyance only made worse by the fact that he was so fucking talented. I refused to listen to their music anymore than what Sam had already shown because I just didn’t want to give Oliver the satisfaction, even if he wouldn’t know about it.

IdontcareIdontcareIdontcare. I had to remind myself that a lot.

The next two stops were in Italy, where we’d be for just a week and a half. The evening before we boarded the plane that would take us there, however, we all decided to get out for a big dinner. It was the first time I’d really be hanging with the entire group, outside of our bus and hotel breakfasts. I wanted to look good, knowing they were used to seeing me in sweats, hoodies, jeans, so I spent a bit of time getting myself ready.

Sam barely dressed up, opting for jeans and a nicer jumper, black Vans a staple to all his outfits. I picked out one of the nicer dresses I’d packed, blush pink, with a square neckline, sheer long sleeves, and a length that cut off above my mid-thigh. I wore my black platform boots, gold jewelry, and did my hair up in this silk bow I had purchased back in London. This was the first time on this trip that I felt really good about how I looked. Oliver’s burning hatred for me only made me more insecure than I already was. Not tonight.

Sam sat on the edge of his bed, awaiting me, scrolling through his phone. He looked up when I opened the bathroom door, my boots noisy on the carpeted floor. A sweet smile came across his face. He slid his phone into his pocket and stood to take me in. His head tilted to the side.

“What?” I rubbed my hands down the front of my dress, feeling overanalyzed by his gaze.

“I don’t tell you enough Daz, but you’re beautiful,” Sam nodded, just once. Usually, I’d make fun of him for being so cheesy, so affectionate. But, this summer was bonding us more.

Instead, I grinned at my brother, but still reached out to playfully punch his arm. “Thanks, Sam-Ham.”

“Hey, you’ve done pretty well at not using that so far. Think the guys forgot about that one time.” We headed for the door now, back on our bantering like usual.

I shrugged at his comment, countering with, “Maybe I should remind them of it, then.”

Sam held the door open for me, but, as I said those words, he tried to shove it close on my moving body. I yelped at the impact and then dug my heels into the carpet as I pushed back against his weight. He laughed, heartily, before giving up on shutting me in. Because I was pushing so hard, I toppled out into the hallway, breathless, nearly falling on my face. Sam caught my shoulders and pushed me back on my feet.

As I looked up, I saw Oliver, standing outside of his own room, a quiet smile on his face. He had been observing our antics, passively, with an amused glint in his eye. I grinned back at him, my stupid heart feeling hopeful for some semblance of a spark to catch between us. As if he realized it was my eyes he was looking into, he turned his head.

But, then, just as quickly as he peeled his gaze away, he put it back on me. On my boots, fiery brown eyes dragging themselves up my body. They lingered over the curve of my hips, the peaks of my breasts, my glossy lips and, then, my eyes. He seemed to smirk at me, flashed his eyes, then turned on his heel and headed for the elevator.

Sam hadn’t noticed the longing gaze Oliver burned into me because Ronnie was approaching us from down the hall. She didn’t really go to breakfast or dinner with us because she was always on the move. But, luckily, she was able to make it out tonight. And, whenever Ronnie was around, Sam was more than distracted.

I was too focused on Oliver, myself, staring at his retreating back with a slack jaw. Goosebumps littered the skin exposed on my chest, my legs, a chemical reaction eliciting itself from his burning eyes. What the fuck was that? I knew, deep in my soul, that I shouldn’t have been surprised. He was literally just a stupid man, and I was dressed in little to no clothing. As long as a vagina had legs, men would fuck the most insufferable of women. That was just it- right?

I didn’t have time to focus on my own racing thoughts, however, because Ronnie was talking to me now, teasing me about my dress, which I knew, for her, was just a hidden compliment.

“Jesus, it’s like Princess Peach in real life,” she chuckled, eyeing me up.

I turned to the two of them, licking my lips as if to snap myself out of my lucid trance. “Huh? Oh…uh- insert funny Princess Peach line,” I shook my hands around, forcing a smile upon my face, as I tried to banter back.

“Something like, ‘save me, Mario!”’ Sam mocked the character in a high-pitched voice.

This finally distracted my brain enough. Ronnie and I shared a humorously surprised expression, eyed Sam, before bursting out into laughter.

“That was fucking terrible!” Ronnie exclaimed, smacking Sam in the bicep. “I loved it.”

We made our way to the elevator, still teasing Sam for his terrible impression. He tried to save himself by acting like Mario, but that was just another train wreck, in and of itself.

“I’m-a sorry! Please-a forgive me-a!” He lifted his arms in a strange manner as he made another horrid impression. Ronnie held a finger up to her lips, “No, no. Shhhhhh…no, just…no.” I giggled into my hand.

We were supposed to meet the others down in the lobby, where we would take a pair of taxis down the street to some five-star restaurant the boys had recommended. I was lucky to have saved up so much at my job back home, to be able to do stuff like this all summer. I don’t think I’d ever been to such a fancy place before. I was more than excited.

When we stepped off the elevator, we spotted our group by the front doors. Max was in a sweater, jeans, hands stuffed in his pockets as he spoke to Adam, who was also dressed nicer than normal. He looked over the guitarist's shoulder as the elevator dinged and spotted me immediately. Max gawked at the sight. He interrupted his band mate’s conversation in order to whistle. I flushed red, eyes rolling, though I secretly appreciated all the attention I was garnering with this little outfit.

“Oh, my god,” Ronnie murmured to herself, pressing a hand to her forehead as though he was stressing her out. She and Sam moved off, out of the way, as Max approached.

He brushed past Adam, looking me up and down. He reached out for my hands, taking my fingers in his large hold. He lifted my arms up, as if to get a better examination of me. “Love, you look fucking gorgeous!”

I shook my head, grinning at the compliments, and it ruffled my hair over my shoulders. It drew Max’s attention to my intricate hairstyle. He moved his hand to touch my neck, softly, and turned my head to admire the hairstyle.

“Wow, love, just; wow!” Max appreciated me some more, settling a blush across my cheeks.

Then, he pulled me to stand beside him, looping my hand through his arm, laying it around his bicep. “Come on, love; you’re my date for this evening. Yeah?”

“Sure,” I patted his bicep. “Whatever you say.”

Max groaned, head tilted back, eyes shut. “Don’t say that! That’s dangerous-“

“Watch your fucking mouth!” Sam called from his spot beside Ronnie, a finger pointed warningly at Max. I hung my head, giggles falling from my mouth. Ronnie looked amused at the confrontation.

Max raised his own hand in defense, “Okay, okay. I’ll even admit that one was a little…out there.” Sam nodded firmly with a disapproving smile. Max tilted his head down towards me, his expression more polite now, words close to my ear. “Sorry, love.”

I leaned into his arm, winking slightly, “Don’t be. I liked it.”

“Oh! That’s my girl,” Max tapped my nose sweetly.

I was on top of the world. I looked good- even Oliver thought so- I felt good. I was in the most beautiful country, surrounded by people I was forming tightly-knit relationships with. Nothing could ruin my elated mood.

I didn’t even care that Ronnie, Sam, and Adam had piled into the one taxi, leaving Max, Oliver, Cy, and I to share the other. I didn’t care that I’d have to share such a small space with the most insufferable man in the world.

Cy chose to sit up front, cutting off Oliver, who had most definitely been headed in that direction. Cy didn’t notice, though. His action was sacrificial for everyone else, not intentionally manipulative towards his band mate. Oliver, however, seemed to take it to heart, frowning deeply at the rejection and fisting his hand into his hoodie pocket.

I watched all this occur as Max opened the door to the taxi, helping me inside the back seat. “You okay in the middle?” He asked, head dipped inside the vehicle.

I nodded, “No worries.” I only realized after I saw Oliver round the car that this meant I’d be sitting flush against him.

I didn’t care. Though my face flushed with anticipatory anxiety, I didn’t care. I didn’t care- was that his cologne in the air- nope. Don’t care.

Max piled in, softly shutting the door behind him, leg and shoulder pressed up against my own. I buckled myself in just as Oliver opened the door. I tried to offer a sweet smile, still choosing kindness over returning his awful behavior. He didn’t mirror any gesture in return. My smile faltered.

No. I wouldn’t let him ruin this for me. Tonight was going to be fun, whether he wanted it to be or not. If he chose to sulk in my presence, then that was his problem. I shook my shoulders about, basically shaking him off of me. Though, it would be my problem during the car ride. He slid into the seat next to me and I swear I could feel his negative energy fill up the car. Besides, he was tall, legs and arms long, shoulders wide. I know he was trying to shove himself up against the door, but he couldn’t just not touch me. His thigh was warm against mine, his shoulder tense. I leaned into Max to try to give him more space, but that was unfair to him.

The bassist shifted in return, looking down at me, apologetic for thinking he had taken up too much space, “Sorry, love.”

“S’okay,” I looked away from Oliver, focusing my attention on the road before us as the driver pulled out of the parking lot. I tried to sink into myself. But, I was still flush against either man.

I could smell Oliver’s cologne, too. It was sweet, musky. It overwhelmed my senses. Though I tried to process Max and Cy’s blossoming conversation, appeal myself to them and only them, all I could think about was Oliver. How he smelled. The curve of his thigh.

Oliver’s large hand on his knee, slender fingers curved over top of the limb. Oliver’s chest, in the corner of my eye, moving up and down slowly, in a controlled rhythm of breathing. Oliver’s scent, so strong to my senses, so…distracting. He smelled so damn good.

I shifted in my seat again. My thigh pressed up against his more. I squeezed my legs together to avoid his, but there wasn’t enough room. I glanced at him, an apologetic smile on my lips.

He looked down at me, lips pursed slightly. I held his eyes for a moment, trying to read his expression. Just as I went to turn my head away, his eyes dipped down, over the peaks of my breast again.

Okay, he was not helping the situation. The way he looked more over was just making him seem more attractive to my stupid brain.

I flushed, skin spotting with color from the red blush. I took a deep breath, chest rising and falling as I tried to control the heat in my body. I saw from the corner of my eye that Oliver was still staring at me. He shifted this time, tugging his hoodie down his belt. I furrowed my brows at the movement, flicking my eyes over his lap, where the hem of his jacket had now settled. Oliver coughed, large hand holding the edge of his hoodie down over where he had moved it to. I did a double-take, realizing after a moment what that meant.

He had a boner.

He had a boner because of me.

Oliver had a boner because of me.

Oh, God.

I couldn’t think straight. I clutched the edge of my dress, knuckles white from the pressure in them. My chest only fell faster, breathing short, goosebumps littering my flushed skin again. I could feel Oliver look over at me, over and over. He just couldn’t look away. He shifted countless more times, thigh pushing against mine. It sprouted a wildfire across my skin.

I didn’t want to play games, but he was making it impossible to be the neutral position in this narrative. One day, he hated me, rolling his eyes at my laughter. Then, the next, he’s checking me out, battling a boner in the seat beside me? So, maybe I should just choose a side. Maybe I should play back.

I spread my legs, only a centimeter due to the lack of space I had, pressing my thigh into his more. It was noticeable to him, and him only.

He felt the pressure, eyes dragging down my body to my leg. The hand he still had curved over his leg squeezed his knee cap, knuckles flushing white, like my own. I smirked to myself, though I knew he could see the expression on my face. He let out a breathless huff, as if he was struggling to get air into his lungs.

Eventually, we made it to the restaurant. I continued pushing my leg into his, though he slowly began to cower into the corner of the car, knee turning towards the door. I felt victorious, confident in the way I had made his body react.

Though my hands still shook from the heat of the moment. The game paused during dinner. Oliver went back to ignoring me, eyes trained on the menu or his lap. I knew it was partially because he didn’t want to have a boner in front of our friends. Though, he conversed a bit more tonight, to Ronnie about tour dates, to his band mates about the setlist, to Sam about some stupid bit they were all involved in. I knew it was just because of the camaraderie between everyone.

Everyone had a really good time, myself included, though I was sweating. We were all laughing, sharing stories over numerous glasses of wine. Of course, my hand was a little heavier than the other’s when I’d poured myself some of the maroon colored liquid. I needed to drink in order to get through this painful plane of existence. This was not how I thought the night would go, but there was no going back now. I needed to make him uncomfortable, needed him to see me. He couldn’t ignore me any longer. Not now, not when I knew that I had him in such a taunting way. When dessert was brought out- slices of chocolate cake- I stepped back into the game. I was a little more brave now, encouraged by the wine. I was tipsy, sure, but I also knew exactly what I was doing.

Oliver was seated right across from me, accidental on either of our ends. But, lucky, nonetheless. I pushed my feet out underneath the table, taking up more space than I needed to. Eventually, the toes of my boots hit the tips of his black converse.

He had been eating his cake, eyes trained on the white cloth of the table. But, when I knocked our shoes together, his eyes flinched up, towards me. His brows furrowed. He dipped his head down and lifted the cloth up slightly to look at our shoes under the table. Oliver met my eyes again. He rolled his eyes and went back to his cake. I smirked to myself. He thought I was just being stupid, stretching my legs out. No- I was a smart girl. I knew what I was doing. This was all intentional. I hated him, but he thought I was hot. So, I could finally get back at him for all of his shitty behavior. Could use my good looks to my advantage.

I put my boot atop one of his converse. His foot wriggled beneath mine, in an attempt to knock it off. But, I pressed down, keeping it there. Oliver looked back up, annoyance evident in his face.

I took the opportunity to have a bit of my cake, slipping the fork between my lips slowly, tongue flicking out to swipe the bottom of it seductively. Oliver’s eyes widened as I drug the utensil from my lips. I twisted it around in my mouth, cleaning off every inch, lips pursed. He sat up in his seat.

I had his full attention now.

I scooped more cake onto my fork, though I didn’t bite into it this time. Instead, I licked the fork, dragging it down my tongue. Oliver’s eyes watched my mouth, his own tongue flicking out over his lips.

I swallowed, noticeably so. He shifted in his seat, hands in his laps now. I set my fork down, leaned back in my seat, and crossed my arms. I let myself grin at him, having successfully made his dick hard again. He was a stupid, easy boy. It didn’t matter who I was- so long as I was wearing skimpy clothes and being sexy- he was weak. Sure, he probably still couldn’t stand me- but his dick was hard.

Oliver’s jaw clenched. He tilted his chin up towards me, as if to say, “Okay. I see how it is.”

I flicked my brows at him, reaching out for my wine glass, and maintaining eye contact as I took a long swig. “Should we go out for drinks?” Max asked from his end of the table.

I glanced down at him, my wine glass empty now. Sam wiped his mouth clean with a napkin, searching everyone’s expressions. “Could be fun,” I shrugged. “Yeah, I could go for some beer,” Adam shrugged from his seat.

Ronnie nodded, too, “Fuck it. Let’s do it.”

Cyrus raised a hand to motion to the waitress that we needed our checks. I reached around to the back of my chair as she approached, ready to grab my wallet. Though we had already laid out how the checks would be split, she never gave me mine.

I furrowed my brows as she passed over me, handing out bills to everyone else. But, then I saw Sam laying his card down on his bill and nodded to myself. When we left the restaurant, and began walking down the street to the closest bar, I caught up to him and Ronnie. I looped my arm through his, gaining his attention, “Thanks, Sam Ham.”

He looked confused by my gratitude, but didn’t have time to focus on that because he was too busy being offended by my choice of nickname. He moved to fuck with me, to tickle my waist or something, but I quickly ran from him. Max and Adam were walking a few feet ahead of us. Laughing loudly, I headed to them, running in front of Max. The wine I had drank was making me loud, silly. I appreciated the ability to relax, unwind. Be myself without any filters holding me back.

Max nearly tripped over me, but when he heard Sam calling out, trying to get to me, he quickly grabbed me by the waist. “Leave my girl alone, you monster!” Max shouted, tossing me over his shoulder and racing further down the street.

I clutched onto his arms, yelping at the hectic movement. We reached the bar before everyone else, Sam having given up on chasing us after he nearly tripped on the curb. I watched them all approach where we stood from over Max’s shoulder, breathless.

I patted his back and said, “Okay, thanks, but you can let me down now.”

“Mhm,” Max turned towards the group. “Appreciating the view, love.”

“Max,” Ronnie was even getting protective over me. She moved in front of us, an annoyed look on her face, “You’re disgusting.”

Max huffed, and replied, “Okay, okay, here,” before settling me back on my feet. He grinned down at me, booped my nose again before heading into the bar with Adam, Ronnie, and Sam.

I glanced over my shoulder and saw Cy and Oliver, having been trailing behind our group. Cy smiled kindly, hands shoved in his jacket pockets. I noticed Oliver was looking up at the sky. I trailed my eyes down over his body, towards his crotch curiously. His black skinny jeans looked just a liiiiittle bit tight, again.

I smirked to myself. “Cmon, Cy,” I pushed Oliver gently out of the way in order to grab onto his friend’s arm. We walked into the bar, leaving Oliver in the dust. I made sure to swing my hips just so for his gaze, which I was positive was glued to my ass.

The game was back on. And he would lose.

-

Max handed me yet another drink, a sweet, drunken smile on his face. “Here you are, lovey.”

“Thank you, friend!” I wriggled around on the bar stool happily. I lazily wrapped my lips around the thin black straw in the glass I now held tightly in my hand. The bitter taste of alcohol, diluted by the cherry grenadine and orange slice clipped onto the rim of the glass, flooded my tongue. I shut my eyes as I enjoyed the taste, drunk enough that it didn’t actually matter how gross vodka was.

I set the glass back down upon the bar, then twisted my stool around to observe the small dance floor. It was some local dive bar we’d settled on, a place Max had been to loads of times before. It was getting crowded, especially as the night wound down. Every seat at the counter was full, the tables were occupied, and everyone on said dance floor was pushing up against each other. The couples dancing there were sights for sore eyes, all sloppy hips and wandering hands.

I moved my head side to side, with the rhythm of the song playing, lips pursed. I knew some of the words, mostly just the chorus, so I sang along when I could. I glanced over to the pool tables when I heard Sam and Ronnie cheer loudly. They were playing against Adam and Cy, who seemed to be losing quite badly. I giggled to myself as Sam chest-bumped with Ronnie.

Max, who had been talking to Oliver, who was sitting- sulking- beside us, turned his attention back to me. I was still his ‘date’ for the evening, so he had refused to let me buy my own drinks. This was incredibly dangerous. Not including the two glasses of wine I’d had back at the restaurant, I was already on my fourth drink. The liquor was making my stomach warm, my limbs loose. As for Oliver…I had been too busy enjoying myself in the bar to play with him. I was feeling like just giving up, satisfied with what I’d accomplished, growing bored of him as the alcohol filled up my attention. Besides, the man seemed uninterested in anything anymore.

“I still owe you a dance, don’t I, lovely?” Max’s voice was low in my ear, his cheek brushing against my hair.

I grinned up at him, “I think you owe me at least two.”

Max dipped his head back to swallow the rest of his drink before offering me his hand. As he did, Whitney Houston began playing. My mouth opened wide in excitement. I hopped off the bar and drugged him behind me, jumping to the rhythm with each step I took towards the floor. I sang to Max, holding onto his hand, pointing with every lyric, popping my hips. He swayed, but mostly let me have my moment. He pulled me every so often and my hair would whip past my shoulders.

“Spinning through the town- ah!” I squealed as Max spun me towards his chest. I clutched onto his shoulders as he dipped me, hands low on my back. As I hung there in the air, I burst out laughing, my head falling further backwards.

When I opened my eyes, I caught sight of Oliver, now turned in his stool to face the dance floor. He wasn’t smiling, no, he was basically incapable of doing so. But, there was a small curl in his lips, a glint in his dark eyes each time the flashing lights burned his pupils. Nevermind. I was back in. I was so back in the game that it was probably unhealthy, and I’d probably regret it. The song ended, and, to my luck, S&M by Rihanna began playing. I grinned at Max as my back straightened up, my chest pressed against his.

He tilted his head at me with a playful smile, “I have a feeling Sam won’t like this.”

I wrapped my arms around Max’s neck, pushing myself flush against him. I stood on my tiptoes, glossy lips barely ghosting his earlobe as I whispered, “I don’t care.”

As I pulled away, I watched Max throw his head back and roll his eyes. “You’re killing me, love!”

“Good!”

The chorus began thumping through the speakers. I pushed Max’s leg through my own, feeling his boney hips against mine. I rolled my waist to his, tossing my hair back, leaning into his hands. He pushed his touch lower, over the curve of my tailbone, dangerously close to my ass. We danced through the song, pushing into each other, hips rolling. As it reached the bridge, Max pushed me away, still holding my hand, encouraging me to dance on my own for a moment. I did, jumping around, screaming the lyrics, hair whipping over my face. Max then spun me back into his chest.

When I thumped against his body, I knew I was going to puke. Vile pushed up my throat and I slapped a hand over my mouth. I stumbled, ripping my hand from Max. He was speaking to me, asking if I was okay, or something of the sort, but I couldn’t hear him.

I needed to get away- get to the bathroom, get fresh air, something. I didn’t know where the ladies room was, so I b-lined for the front door, tripping through the crowd, until my fingers touched the push bar handle. My knees scraped against the pavement as I fell into the curb, retching the contents of the dinner I’d had into the bushes outside the bar. I tried to brush my hair from my face, but it was sticking to my face in bunches, sweat acting as a bondant.

Out of nowhere, I felt someone else’s warm hands on my neck, fingering my hair back into their fist, peeling strands from my cheeks and lips. I braced my hands against the dirt of the curb and some of it lodged up under my fingernails. My knees were burning, probably all cut up from my crash landing.

After a few minutes of relentless gagging, my stomach was finally empty. I pushed myself back onto my ass, tears dripping down my cheeks, black mascara smudging all the way down to my neck. My back pressed up against the stranger’s chest. I felt my shoulders shaking from the exertion my body had just gone through.

“It’s okay,” they were shushing me throughout it all, their voice now processing in my ears. They wrapped an arm around my waist, hugging me to their chest as they swayed us slightly. Their other hand continued brushing my hair from my face soothingly, coaxing me down from the high of the moment. “It’s okay, Daisy. You’ll be okay.”

“I wanna go home,” I sobbed slightly, words slobbered from my salivating lips.

“I know, I know, s’okay,” they continued soothing me. “Think you can stand?”

I glanced down, looking over the hand that was helping me. Silver rings adorned the person’s long, slender fingers, and their pale wrist led into an arm that disappeared under a black sweatshirt. As my brain processed their voice, their sweet smell of cologne that was encasing me, my eyes widened.

“Ol-” my voice cracked, “Oliver?”

He peered over my shoulder as I looked back at him, managing to meet his eyes. “Yeah? You okay? Think you can stand, darling?”

I wanted to be angry, to jump up and yell at him for being so fucking weird, for acting like my existence was a burden, but falling to his knees whenever I was in danger. But, I couldn’t right now. I just wanted to go home. Back to the hotel, curl up in bed.

“N-no,” I admitted guiltily, brows furrowed. “I…don’t feel good.”

“S’okay. Shhhh, it’s okay. Here,” Oliver braced my back with a hand as he stood, ensuring I wouldn’t fall over onto the sidewalk. When he settled onto his feet, he pulled his phone from his pocket, shot a quick text to someone. Then, he crouched down, scooped me up, easily, into his arms. I lazily wrapped my hands around his neck.

The crevice of his shoulder was warm, so I nuzzled my head there. I could hear his heartbeat, thumping rapidly through his hoodie. I focused on the sound as he began walking. My eyes, unwillingly, fluttered shut. I didn’t know where we were going or, honestly, what the fuck was happening. But, I couldn’t care. I just needed my world to stop spinning. Besides, being so close to him felt…good. I didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want it to be true. But, he was…he felt good.

Eventually, I guess, we made it back to the hotel. I came to from my sleepy trance when I heard the elevator ding. I took in a sharp gasp of breath, lifting my head from Oliver’s chest.

“Doing okay, Daisy?” He looked down at me. I felt us shift as the elevator lifted up on its track. I shook my head, only having enough energy to do so once, frowning deeply, “Not really.”

“S’okay, darling, we’re almost there,” Oliver assured me. My brows furrowed when I heard the pet name pass through his lips. “What?” I questioned. I suppose he’d used it a few times now, but this was the first I’d noticed it. It was…entrancing.

Oliver glanced back at me, having trained his eyes back on the doors before us, “Said we’ll be there soon, yeah?” “Darling,” I whispered, mostly to myself as I lay my head back into his neck.

I heard him chuckle softly, as though he heard my inquiring tone. The noise rattled against my cupped ear, deep, hollow in his chest. I liked the sound. I wanted to hear it more often. I cooed and felt Oliver’s chest constrict beneath my chin, as though he was taking a deep breath. We were moving again, down the hallway, towards mine and Sam’s room. Oliver stopped outside of it and shifted me in his arms. “Okay, darling, need your help here. I’ve got your purse. Could you get in it, get your key? Can you do that for me, beautiful?”

My mind was so rattled by his free use of the sweet names that I struggled to focus on the task at hand. Jaw slack, I stared up at him, hypnotized. He smiled down at me, still humored by my shock.

“Darling? Please? Your purse.”

‘‘Purse,” I nodded slowly. Then, somehow, I managed to reach for the pink strap slung over his shoulder. I fished my purse into my lap, dug around, trying to find my wallet. As I continued to search for it, I began to grow frustrated. I just wanted to close my eyes, go to sleep. “Can’t find it.” I began to cry again, sniffling lamely.

He soothed me with soft hushes, “S’okay. Darling, s’okay. You can just..” he huffed as he tried to come up with a solution. He peered down the hallway, towards his room. “You can just stay in my room. Don’t cry, Daisy. S…okay.”

He seemed to be trying to reassure himself more than me. He backtracked down the hallway, stopping before his door now. “Okay, just one more favor, darling. Can you do that for me? One more?”

“Yes,” I slurred.

Oliver tapped his fingers against the underside of my thigh. It released a net of butterflies in my stomach. “Can you reach into my back pocket, get my wallet? Yeah?”

I shifted in his arms, straining my arm over his shoulder as I reached for the wallet he spoke of. With a few soft groans from me, and the help of Oliver, who lifted me up further so I could reach, I retrieved it. I flipped it open, eyes immediately drawn to his driver’s license in the clear slot.

“You’re cute,” I muttered to myself, rubbing a finger across the picture. “December 22. Your birthday is seven months away.”

“Yes, it is, darling,” he chuckled down at me. “Now, listen-“

“My birthday is next month,” I tilted my head back, pointing my glazed smile up at him.

“Oh, yeah?” I watched as his grin grew upon meeting my eyes.

“The 12th,” I moved my hand from the wallet to his cheek, touching it softly. “You’re cute.”

His face grew hot beneath my touch. “So are you, darling. You wanna get to sleep, yeah?”

The words drew a yawn from my throat. I arched my back into his hold, nodding lazily.

“Would you take the hotel key out and press it against the handle, please? Daisy-“ he demanded my eye contact. I gave it to him, easily. I would do anything he asked, I knew at this moment.

“Yes.”

I unlocked the door, pushed it open for us. Oliver moved through the threshold, pressing a kiss to my temple shortly. When he spoke, his lips were so close to my ear that I felt his words in my legs. It vibrated through my veins, like the music at the bar had. He said, “Good girl.” I managed not to make a guttural noise.

Oliver carried me to his bed, gently laying my body down over the covers. I immediately curled up into myself, shivering at the cold in the air, eyes squeezed shut. I’d forgotten any conversation I’d started with him in the hallway. I was too focused on getting to sleep.

Oliver sat down beside me, laying a hand on my shoulder. He shook me, softly, “May I take off your shoes?”

I groaned in response, hoping it came out as a positive signal for him. He laughed again, before moving his touch down to my calves. He was so warm.

Oliver lifted my one leg, just slightly, unzipping each boot before sliding them down and off my feet. He leaned over the bet to set them on the floor.

When he straightened up, he leaned in to get a closer look at my knees. “Scraped yourself up pretty good.”

I hissed as his fingers dabbed at a cut. He apologized, softly, before adding, “Let me get a cloth, okay?” His hand was on my cheek now, thumb brushing away some of the mascara that was dried on my face.

I gave him a thumbs up, my hand hitting his shoulder. He took my fingers in his and lay it back against my chest. I held his hand there, snuggling my cheek to it. Oliver sighed at the action, but then took his hand back. I heard him get up. I heard the faucet run. Suddenly, he was back, pressing a warm, damp cloth to my face.

‘‘C’mere, darling,” he sat down again. Oliver’s fingers cradled my cheek as he lifted my head up and lay it in his lap. His fingers were rough from playing the guitar, but it was nice to feel them brush the hair away from my face. He was cleaning the makeup off my face now.

Meanwhile, I was far too drunk and tired to notice the way my body reacted to his touch. Butterflies ate away at my stomach, heat sprouted from every ghost of his fingers. Goosebumps covered every inch of my skin, eating away at me like acid.

He moved his focus down to my knees, using some alcohol pads to wipe off dried blood on my legs. He bandaged them with whatever he found in the bathroom.

“Would you like to change out of your dress?” Oliver then asked. He was still stroking my cheek now, but the cloth was abandoned. There was no makeup to take off. He was just…touching me, just for the sake of touching me.

“Please,” I peeked open my eyes. His face was so close to mine, it almost made me flinch. But, I was taken back more by the brightness of the lights glaring down on me.

When my squinting eyes met his gaze, he grinned, “Think you can sit up for me, darling?”

I nodded, a smile forced onto my face from his beautiful expression. Oliver braced my back again, large fingers splayed out over my waist, helping me to lean against the headboard. I wanted his hands all over me. I hoped I didn’t say it out loud. I didn’t think I did, but who knew at this point.

“Would you like a hoodie? T-shirt? Pants?” He glanced around the room as he spoke, hoping to find something for me.

“Hoodie,” I murmured in response, staring at the blank, black screen of the tv.

Oliver went to stand, but I reached out, fingers grasping at the strings of his jacket. He settled back onto the bed, brows furrowed as he looked down at my touch. He pointed to his chest, “This hoodie?”

“Please,” I stared at the string as I played with it. Oliver chuckled, again, before tugging his arms from the sleeves, peeling the hoodie up and over his head. My eyes glued to his chest as his shirt rode up, revealing his toned stomach, the line that I knew led to his dick. His hair was all ruffled from the movement, too, only making him more attractive to me.

“Wanna keep staring at me or go to bed, darling?” Oliver touched his pointer finger to my slack jaw, drawing my eyes to his.

I met his dark stare, flushing red. I smiled, “Both.”

“One thing at a time. We have all summer,” he shook his head, the volume of his words lowering as he spoke, like it was a secret we were sharing with each other. What the fuck did that mean? That meant something. That meant…everything. What the fuck?

I managed to lean forward so Oliver could unzip my dress, though my mind was somewhere else. It was racing, especially as his fingers brushed down my spine. My back arched into his touch. Heat sprouted like a garden on my skin. I needed…

Oliver pulled his hoodie over my bare body. When my head popped through the opening, we shared a sweet grin. Oliver glanced up at my hair, then ran both his hands over the mess, patting it down. He cradled my head in his hands, his large, warm, hold simply gazing into my eyes.

The pace of my breathing sped up, heart thumping rapidly in my chest. I wanted to kiss him. I needed to kiss him. I didn’t care that he was confusing, that he was an asshole 99% of the time. I didn’t care that he probably tasted like cigarette smoke, that I’d puked thirty minutes ago, or that he was my brother’s boss.

I needed his lips on mine. He had been the center of my thoughts these past few weeks. And he was finally right there for the taking.

I pushed forward with so much effort that I tackled Oliver onto the bed. I grabbed the neck of his t-shirt, guiding his lips to mine. He made a noise as his back hit the bed, the air knocked out of him. I straddled his waist, somehow, sloppily kissing him.

For a moment, just a brief moment, Oliver touched my waist and kissed me back. Then, he braced his hands against my shoulders, leaned his head back far enough into the bed that he could get away.

“Daisy-“

“Oliver, please!” I tugged at his shirt, whining like a child who had their candy stolen.

Oliver laughed at my puckered lips, squeezed-shut eyes. He sat us up, me in his lap, his hands moving to my waist. The movement forced my eyes open, my lips coming to a frown on my face. I furrowed my brows, puppy-dog eyes staring up at him with a pleading in my pupils.

“Daisy, you’re drunk,” he touched my cheek, trying to ground my gaze to his, hoping the explanation would make sense to my drunken mind.

But, it didn’t, of course. Besides, this was rejection. Rejection from the guy who rolled his eyes everytime I spoke. Rejection from the guy who got hard because of my thigh pressing against his leg in the car. The confusion of the situation was overwhelming me.

And the only thing I could think to say was, “Why don’t you want me?”

Oliver’s gaze softened. He didn’t even have to think of his response. It came so naturally, “I do. I…I do want you.”

His voice was soft, a whisper passed between just our breaths. My grip on his shirt loosened as I relaxed in his lap. I was still frowning, though, still confused, “Then why…why are you so mean to me?”

“It’s complicated, darling,” he searched my face, worry in his eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “I’m sorry. I just…let’s just get you to bed, okay? We can have this conversation when you’re sober. Can we do that, darling? Besides, we have a plane to catch in five hours.” I nodded, though it was slow, unsure. Oliver helped me under the covers, tucking them up to my chin sweetly. He brushed my hair back again, eyes lingering on my fluttering-shut eyes. I mumbled, barely coherent, slurred words, “Please lay with me.”

Oliver shook his head, “I can’t do that, darling.” “Why?” I pouted my lip.

And, though I forgot a lot of details about this night, his response was something I would never, ever let slip from my memory.

“If I lay down next to you, I don’t think I could keep my hands to myself.”

#sleep token #sleep token x reader #sleep token x y/n #sleep token fanfiction #sleep token fanfic #vessel x reader #vessel x y/n #vessel smut #sleep token smut #vessel sleep token #vessel x you #sleep token x you #vessel (sleep token) x reader

[sataniquepanique]

New York, I Love You.

Summary: Eddie plans a trip to NYC for your anniversary, but becomes distant once you land in the city that never sleeps. You know he's hiding something, but you're not sure what.

Genre: fluff, angst, older!Eddie

Warnings: mention of depression/intrusive thoughts

A/N: I'm getting married in 2 weeks (fucking yikes), so I wrote something based on my fiancé's actual proposal to take my mind off of planning shit for two fucking seconds.

“Have you heard about the theory that Van Gogh didn’t actually kill himself?” You chime, looking over the museum map, eagerly tracing an invisible tour path through the winding galleries.

“You’ve only told me about it a million times over the past seven years,” Eddie chuckles as he stares down the entranceway of the Museum of Modern Art. The two of you look incredibly out of place; stark white walls, juxtaposed with tattoos and leather. The soft squeak of your Docs reverberate through the winding hallway, adding to the anxiety that’s been building since stepping foot in New York City two days ago. Something was off with Eddie, but you couldn’t put a finger on it. It started at the airport, he had stopped talking after getting to the gate; chalking it up to nerves about flying, you ignored it. The first day in the city was the same, barely any conversation unless you initiated it, and even less physical affection on his part. Maybe he was still tired from the trip, or maybe he just hated the city? A third reason rears its ugly head and starts to burrow deep inside your conscious; maybe he was getting tired of you. After seven years of being together, of cohabitating in a small apartment outside of Hawkins, of two cats and a dog later, maybe the love of your life was pushing away. 

A hand on the small of your back snaps your attention back to the map. The 1880-1940’s collection is on the 5th floor, allowing you to traverse through the rest of the museum before seeing the one piece this entire trip was centered around.

———

New York City was actually Eddie’s idea, though it doesn’t seem so from his current disconnected behavior. A few months prior he had bounded into the living room, smiling like he had just won the lottery.

“Baby,” he sang in his best, most innocent voice, “how would you feel about going to New York City in July?” 

Your head slowly rose from the book you were buried in. His particular tone was usually only reserved for when he was already in trouble, or plotting something mischievous. 

“What’s your angle, Munson?” Shifting forward on the couch, your eyes narrow in suspicion.

Hand over heart, he looks at you with faux offense, “How dare you think so little of me. I just think we should do something cool for our anniversary this year.”

All your wariness fades to glowing endearment.

“Oh Eds, that’d be amazing! Of course I’d love to go to New York!” 

His face relaxes as he huffs out a relieved breath, “Oh thank god, ‘cause I already bought plane tickets—“

You smile at him, impressed that he had actually planned something ahead of time instead of waiting until the last minute like usual. You’ve been together almost 7 years, and as time went on celebrating your anniversary became less and less theatrical, now consisting of take-out from your favorite Chinese place and a movie of unanimous choosing. Low-key, comfortable, but still full of love, just like you and Eddie.

“—and I also reserved two tickets for the Museum of Modern Art.”

Your eyes almost pop out of your head, “That’s where—“

“—Starry Night is. I know, that’s why I’m taking you there.” He flops down onto the couch, throwing a casual arm around your shoulders as you melt into him.

For your entire life, or at least as long as you can remember, Van Gogh has been your favorite artist. Doing master-copies of his paintings in high school, trying to hard to get his technique just right, obsessing over his use of color to convey emotion. In college you majored in Art History, specializing in Post-Impressionism, spending long nights pouring over books about Vincent’s life and background. As much as you love his work, his story made him that much more intriguing. How a man struggled with such a tragic life and still managed to see the beauty in the world was nothing less than astounding. 

You’ve seen a few of Van Gogh’s pieces in person at museums in the tri-state area, but you haven’t traveled much further. Money’s been tight ever since you and Eddie moved in together a few years ago, but you’ve always had the bug, itching to go far away and see the world with all it has to offer. Eddie shares the same desire, always talking about dream trips and planning fake vacations, waiting for the day you can make them a reality. 

“Eddie, where did you get the money for this?” The thought of possibly spending rent money on plane tickets makes you panic, but he’s is quick to shrug it away.

“I picked up some extra shifts at the shop, we’re fine don’t worry.”

———

Eddie is usually very physically affectionate, constantly having a hold somewhere on your body; but through 4 floors of galleries he hasn’t so much as touched your hand. The lack of contact is all you can think about, barely able to take in any of the artwork you’ve traveled all this way to see. As you make your way to the 5th floor, Eddie trudges behind silently. The awkward tension is killing you, and you’re not sure how much more you can take.

Turning into the 1880s gallery, a small crowd of people gather around the far corner. A glimpse of familiar cerulean and marigold swirls, the same brushstrokes you’ve studied for years, peaks over the top of their heads. You swiftly push to the front, and all of the air is crushed from your lungs. 

It’s other-worldly. 

Every photo you’ve ever seen of The Starry Night doesn’t do it justice, not even remotely. The peaks of paint that dot the surface of the canvas, the brightness of each color, none of it can be properly depicted on the pages of a textbook. After so many years of studying this painting, seeing it in the flesh is almost like seeing an old friend. There’s a calmness in it, admiration mixed with giddiness.

You’re close to tears as you feel Eddie’s presence beside you.

“It’s amazing…” his voice is low, partly because of the subdued setting, but also in awe.

All you can muster is a nod as your eyes drag over every inch of the painting, committing it to memory. 

You have to practically rip yourself away, buzzing from the entire experience. 

Eddie waits by the entranceway with his hands in his front pockets, “Do you wanna go get dinner? I’m starving.”

“Sure,” still unnerved by his demeanor, your tone is stoic and emotionless, “Where do you wanna go?”

He scratches the back of his neck, something only done when he’s uncomfortable, “Uh, there’s this pub across 52nd if that’s cool?”

An audible stomach growl answers for you.

Eddie keeps a few feet of distance between your bodies, weaving through groups of people on the crowded sidewalk. You’ve never seen this many people in your life, even at college in Indianapolis. Growing up in Indiana, your hometown was so small that everyone knew each other, same with Eddie’s upbringing in Hawkins. City life always intrigued you, and up until this moment you had thought of Indianapolis as a “big city”; but it was nothing compared to New York. After high school you moved away to college to study art, choosing Indiana University for its busier atmosphere. 

A month after graduating with your BFA, you met Eddie by accident. Moving back home to live with your parents was the last thing you wanted, but finding a good paying job was proving to be more difficult than anticipated. 

Depression started to sink it’s disgusting claws into your psyche; you felt like a failure. 

One night, in a valiant attempt to bring some joy back into your life, your best friend dragged you to a bar in the next town over; the promise of live music and alcohol extremely enticing. Hawkins wasn’t known for much, except for the weird rumors about mysterious disappearances over the years, so you weren’t expecting much from this hole-in-the-wall bar. The Hideout was kind of gross, but in an almost endearing way. The floors were sticky and the air almost unbreathable, but the staff was kind, despite their rough appearances. The bartender chatted the two of you up for while, making jokes and letting you sample whatever beer you wanted to try, all while some metal band played on the rickety stage in the back. 

A little before midnight, the band had packed up and the crowd inside thinned out to just regulars and a few drunk stragglers. As you sat at the bar and waited for your friend to get back from the bathroom, a stranger sat next to you and ordered a beer, greeting the bartender like an old friend. After exchanging a few light-hearted jabs, the stranger smiled and looked over at you. 

“Cheers—“ he holds out the neck of the bottle towards you.

Taken aback by his boldness, you return a small grin, “Cheers to what?” 

He shrugs, sucking his teeth in thought for a second, “To metal? To surviving another gig? I dunno.”

The guitar pick around his neck catches your eye, “Was that your band playing earlier?”

He gives a shy nod, smile stretching wider and accentuating a dimple on his left cheek.

“You guys sounded really good,” You hold out your own bottle towards him.

“I’ll cheers to that,” he taps against yours, a small clink echoing in the almost empty bar. 

“I’m Eddie, by the way.”

“Y/n. It’s nice to meet you, Eddie.” Normally, you would rather die than talk to a random person at a bar, but there was something about this boy that drew you in. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was how ethereal he looked under the neon bar signs, either way you were captivated.

You stayed at the Hideout longer than intended, long after your friend had decided to go home. Eddie made you laugh with stupid jokes and weird stories, sharing your mutual love of horror movies and fantasy books. You were so enthralled that you hadn’t even noticed it was closing time. Apologizing to the bartender, you asked to use their phone to call a cab. Eddie immediately offered to drive you home, promising he wasn’t a serial killer when you profusely questioned him. 

The drive was filled with loud music and scream-singing on both of your parts, Eddie drumming on the steering wheel to the beat as you headbanged beside him. When he pulled up at your parents house, you quickly pulled a pen out of your bag, scribbling your phone number onto his forearm. He winked before driving away, having stayed a few extra minutes to make sure you got inside safely. Every thought for the rest of the night was consumed by Eddie; something was tying you to him, and you wanted to follow that invisible tether all the way to the end.

———

The 52nd Street pub was empty, something that was shocking upon entry, but you were nonetheless a little grateful for it. The quiet was a welcome change from the overwhelming sounds of New York, a small corner of solitude in the center of the city that never sleeps. Welcome almost as much, are the beers that you and Eddie down immediately. 

Though he normally cannot stop talking, Eddie is being uncharacteristically mute. You have to practically drag out any bit of conversation, forcing small talk until the food arrives and you can focus on that instead. 

After a silent meal, the portly older waiter drops off your check and strikes up a conversation with Eddie about your trip and why you were visiting. Eddie put on his polite voice, smiling and laughing along with man’s questions. This stranger was receiving more from him than you had in days. 

The nagging voice in your head struck up again: he’s tired of you.

You stopped paying attention to Eddie’s side-conversation as annoyance consumed you. There was an emerging throb in your head, the physical pain matching the emotional hurt of Eddie’s complete disdain towards you. At this point, all you wanted was to go home.

The sun was setting as you walk out onto the corner of 52nd, and you squint down the street searching for a cab. 

“Hey—“ Eddie smiled at you for what seems like the first time all day, “—wanna go to Central Park?” He points down the street, and you can make out the tops of the trees seven blocks away. 

You shake your head, “I’m really tired, and my head is killing me. I’d rather just go back to the hotel honestly.” 

Eddie’s face falls a little, and you feel slightly guilty, but then remember how uninterested he was all day. 

Again, he glances towards the park, “Are you sure? It’s just a few blocks away—“

“No, Eddie. I just want to go back to the room.” Your voice was stern, annoyed that he only now wanted to spend time with you. A yellow cab crested over the next block, and you raise a hand to get the drivers attention.

“I would rather share one lifetime with you—“ Eddie mumbles behind you. Only half listening, you swear he’s grumbling about not being able to go to the park, and it sets off a rage flare.

“—What?” You snap your head around to face him, eyes narrow and angry, bracing yourself for an argument.

He’s standing a few feet away, one hand in his pocket, the other holding up a diamond ring. Your lungs constrict, an audible gasp escaping as you stare at him wide-eyed. He grins sheepishly as you freeze in place.

“Eddie…what?” 

“I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone,” He repeats, returning your stare with his soft brown eyes. 

“…are you seriously quoting Lord of the Rings to me right now?” You laugh, all tension leaving your body. 

“Did you expect anything less from me?” His deep eyes search yours, silencing the menacing voice in your head, “Marry me, Y/n. I love you more than anything—“

“—more than Gollum loves his precious?”

Eddie rolls his eyes and snorts, “Obviously, you fucking nerd.” 

Scoffing dramatically, you smile and take the ring from his outstretched hand, sliding it onto your finger. 

“Of course I’ll marry you, Eddie Munson. I thought you’d never ask.” 

Finally, after days of anxiety and frustration, he kisses you, smiling the entire time. You can almost physically feel the stress leave his body as you hold onto him.

Pulling back you grab his hand, interlocking your fingers, “Is this why you’ve been acting weird?”

He chuckles, “Yeah, I was super nervous. I honestly planned on doing it in front of The Starry Night, but I freaked out when I saw how many people were around.”

Your heart soars at the sentiment, and you look down at your hand in his, the little diamond sparkling in the fading sunlight. 

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson edit #eddie munson smut #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x you #stranger things fanfic #eddie x y/n #Eddie Munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson au #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x fem! reader #older!eddie #Eddie Munson angst

[direjoon]

METANOIA [7]

✩ pairing: wolf hybrid nj x cheetah hybrid reader (f) - eventual ot7 x reader

✩ genre: soul-searching , romance🔞 , found-family , healing , angst , happy ending

✩ word count: 15.2k sorry,,,

✩ chapter warnings: uncertainty in behavior and emotions , anxiety , detailed description of male and female anatomy- not in an awkward setting but professional , new meetings and lots of anxious feelings at the end of the ch. please lmk if i missed anything.

✩ summary: She doesn't know. There is so much about her and her cheetah that she hasn't had the privilege to understand. Unknown backgrounds and unknown emotions clash with feelings of want- hopes of being herself unapologetically. Namjoon seems to be someone that can help her- but can the rest of his pack truly be what she has wanted and needed?

✩ cover: me

ch.1 , ch.2 , ch.3 , ch.4 , ch.5 , ch.6 , ch.7 , ch.8

Namjoon

After an evening of working out time for Y/N to visit Taehyung and his studio, Namjoon looks forward to his Friday meet up with her. It’s not that the members were feeling a particular way, especially after the overheard discussion between Seokjin and himself. Seokjin was the only one that had any qualms, and it was only to prepare for an extra space at dinner if she happens to still be there at dinner. Namjoon is only excited to work out the plans, especially in times when Taehyung is so excited. 

The cheetah decided to stay home today to work in his studio, getting it ready for her, hopefully soon, visit this weekend. All the guys were excited, especially the big cats. Namjoon was pleased to see that, if anyone had any worries such as Seokjin’s, they were able to put them aside to welcome Y/N into a nice environment. They’ve known each other long enough that they would definitely voice their discomfort, but if anything, they were all quite excited about the idea- even when Namjoon specified his uncertainty in her wanting to meet so many hybrids and men at once. 

The usual preparations at the organization are quick, and before he knows it, Namjoon is pulling into the Caddel driveway. 

The door is opening before he can even knock, Y/N entering his space and giving him an over the shoulder hug. It seems the hug was only for her own motives, before she pulls aways, she’s whispering into his ear. 

“Let’s leave.” 

Y/N immediately tries to turn and push Namjoon out of the house entrance. 

“Oh, Namjoon! Hold on, I have a question for you.” 

Y/N deflates next to him as Maria rushes up to them in her apron with a fabric bag of packed goodies. 

“How are you, Maria?” He gives her his usual smile. 

“I’m great, I just wanted to give you guys these,” she hands him the fabric bag. “And I was gonna see if there was a chance you were free tomorrow morning?” 

“Depends, what’s tomorrow morning?” He asks genuinely. 

“Y/N has a chance to attend a class she’d like to go to, but I’m out of town on the weekends and Richard will be working at that time. I’d let her walk as she wishes, but it’s up at the hospital. I was going to see if you or someone you know of has the time to take her and pick her up?” 

He looks down to Y/N, her demeanor shy and guarded. She’s obviously not comfortable with the suggestion- he’d guess it’s about taking up his time on a weekend when she’s not on his list of “duties” as she’d say. He really doesn’t mind, especially if this is something she wants to do. 

“I can definitely fit it in.”

-

The silence in the car as Namjoon tries to figure out where Y/N wants to go with no direction or audible gesture is quite daunting. Did he say the wrong thing when Maria asked? Is she just not in a good mood today? Does she not actually want to go to the class?

“So…I didn’t know you were starting any classes. That should be fun.” He tries to get her to open up some. 

“Yeah.” she vaguely gives him. 

“What kind of class is it?” He tries to press more.

“Just- like, mental health stuff. It’s just one class, a free one I was recommended.” 

“Oh, that sounds like it’ll be good, maybe I should sit in-”

“No.” Y/N turns to give him a baffled expression, her tone matching perfectly. 

“Oh, well if you don’t want me there that’s fine. Is that why you don’t want me to take you?” 

“Why wouldn’t I want you to take me?” 

“Well that’s what it seems like. I won’t be offended, I just want to make sure you’re comfortable going. I don’t want to make you do something you don’t want to.”

Y/N lets a sigh out, her posture becoming more relaxed.

“It’s just…embarrassing- having to have someone watch over me and take me places. Especially someone that’s not responsible for me.” 

Namjoon continues to drive with no specific destination, content on having her so open with him about her feelings after they knocked down a barrier between them. 

“Just because I’m not a guardian of yours doesn’t mean I don’t want to care for you. The two don’t always go together. I care for you as a friend, thus I don’t mind doing things for you. We talked about this.” 

“I know. This just feels different- it’s during the time you aren’t going out of your way to see me. It’s taking up the time you spend with your pack.I know that’s important, no matter what you say.” 

“It’s all important to me, being your friend without the organization between us and my pack.” 

“It just seems- invasive.” 

“The only way it would be is if she assumed I could take you, or if she just wanted me to because she didn't want to. She’d be putting her responsibilities on me- but she asked and she makes good food. I don’t mind.” 

Y/N seems to relax all the more with Namjoon’s words, uncrossing her arms to lay them in her lap and let her tail unwind from her waist to sit between her hands. Her fingers brush along her tail, holding it with care and light touches. Despite her demeanor, her next words are unexpected. 

“Wow, my company isn’t good enough of a reason?” 

Namjoon’s shocked expression goes unnoticed, his eyes leave the road in one second increments to decipher exactly what her goal is. A small smirk gives way without her wanting- luckily he spots it- but she speaks up before he can. 

“I’m thankful.”

“I know-”

“I want to say it all the time, though. I want to tell you how I feel all the time, I want to let you know how much you mean to me.” 

Namjoon almost accelerates in a dangerous manner when he hears what feels like the most meaningful confession he’s gotten from her. He just about giggled when she wished he was there at the breakfast with Taehyung- this is proving to be the hardest week to keep his cool. Their relationship isn’t normal in his terms of previous relationships, but it’s also not an odd, sexual thing when he thinks of his fondness for her. It’s a yearning that’s slowly building- one that is starting to become more and more consuming. 

“As friends- as Kim Namjoon, the comforting companion-” Y/N gives a ‘pfft’ of laughter she tries to stifle. “I want to know how you feel all the time. Even if it seems unnecessary or odd. I’d like to know everything you want to give me, even if you’re embarrassed.” Y/N gives an abnormally loud sigh before responding. 

“I guess I should be honest with you then.” She gives a lengthy pause that worries Namjoon. 

“Should I be parked for this information?” 

“No…it’s just- it’s embarrassing.”

“In what way?” 

“A personal way.”

“You don’t have to tell me everything, especially if it’s personal and sacred to you in some way.” 

“Ugh, I just don’t know how to say it. It’s about the class…” 

“Are you embarrassed about taking it? If anything I think it would be an amazing chance to learn more about-”

“It’s a sexual development class, Namjoon.” 

He doesn’t want to be stunned into silence. This is a very very normal thing to do. This is especially an important thing for her to learn about herself- a very crucial part about being a hybrid as well- since it’s so different from what Maria could tell her. And hybrids are quite open about these things, heats and rut depending on sex are taken into account by your employers. So, really, this is completely normal to talk about and have a mature conversation about. 

“God, you’re thinking too much about it, can you just say it?” Y/N cuts his thoughts off. 

“Well…I wasn’t expecting you to say that-”

“Oh, god.” Y/N groans, dropping her head into her hands to hide herself. 

“Only because you lied. It’s normal information to seek out and- honestly- hybrids are open about their heats and ruts, so I don’t mind you bringing it up. I don’t want you to be embarrassed about it at all.” 

“Wait. Heats and ruts? What are you talking about?” 

Namjoon definitely has to park now. He doesn’t speak until he’s turning into the first parking lot he sees, parking and unbuckling, and turning to Y/N to gauge how absolutely serious she is. 

“You’re serious? You’re not messing with me as payback for overthinking just a minute ago?” Y/N looks around in confusion because of his serious expression and questions.

“I’m serious- why? Did I say something wrong?” 

“No, no no you didn’t, but? You’ve been going to the doctor right?”

“Yeah?” 

“Are they a hybrid?”

“No.”

“Can I be honest?”

“Yeah?” 

The ping-pong conversation ends with that last question. Namjoon has to stop and think about exactly how to say this. Y/N is truly someone that hasn’t even gotten basic education or a parental / guardian figure to teach her the basics of being a hybrid. He’ll go over the extreme basics and let the crucial class do the rest. 

“Female hybrids aren’t the same as female humans. Your body is literally part animal- and animals don’t have normal hormonal cycles like humans do. You aren’t going to have monthly periods like most humans with the same anatomy will, you’re going to have heats like female cheetahs. Male hybrids have ruts just as their male animal does. There’s more instances based on gender identity and sex but- that’s the basics.”

Y/N seems to be thinking about something specific. Namjoon lets her, knowing that somehow this is new information to her. 

“I’ll never have my period?” 

“Unless it’s some extremely rare case, but, because you literally are part cheetah, there’s really no reason for a human menstrual cycle to manifest.” 

“Why would my doctor not tell me this?” 

“That’s- really hard to say. It could be because they aren’t as well-educated on the difference between the anatomy. Sadly, it’s quite common for doctors to not be well-fit for any one person. I think finding a hybrid doctor would be your best bet to get the information you need.” 

Namjoon watches as Y/N deflates some because of the thoughts she has.  

“That sucks.” Is all she says after a couple minutes. 

“I’m sorry that you didn’t get this information from a professional that would be able to give you more answers.”

“No, it’s okay. I trust you. I mean- I trust the doctor either way just because she was nice and respectful each time. It’s just confusing and- I think it’s unfair that you had to tell me. I wish I just knew more. I feel dumb.”

“Y/N I respect you too much to just feel like I have to do things with and for you. I told you I do them because I want to. It’s always genuine.” 

“Thank you for telling me. I guess I’ll get more answers tomorrow, and hopefully I can find a new doctor soon. Anyways! I’m starving.” Her switch in demeanor worries him but she obviously wants the change in conversation. 

Namjoon knows this can be a lot, but Y/N seems to be in the process of trying to think about it and accept it with ease. He easily follows through with her wishes and starts the car to head to their usual park- but he’ll definitely check in on her later. Maybe after this class she’ll have more information and thus some type of closure with the unknown. 

-

Y/N

“You’re joking.” Y/N looks out at the front of the shops from the passenger car seat. 

“You’re the one that said you felt under-dressed.” 

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to- your eyes show it.”

 Namjoon picked her up with time to spare. Honestly, she was extremely thankful for it- the chances of being late are very low. But, her only issue upon his arrival to pick her up was their difference in clothes. Y/N is used to wearing her usually comfortable outfits- sweats and a tee with simple shoes and a plain gray sweater. Besides that one black outfit, Y/N is also used to Namjoon wearing a tee and jeans as well. But on his days off, it seems his style is much different. 

Namjoon’s baggy, black slacks that hang over mainly black shoes caught her attention first as he stood at the door. Then his matching black hoodie with lettering layered under a baggy leather jacket led her to his sunglass-pushed-back hair. He was truly dressed for something far more important than dropping her off at a class. 

Even as he led her to the car, Namjoon instead followed her to her side of the car and opened the door for her. Her confused looks and weirdly shy-demeanor around him was definitely new, but she couldn’t just bring attention to it. Even as she watched him from the passenger seat, she tried her best to be discreet in her staring. He was truly good-looking. Day by day, he seems to show her more and more- and the more personal it is, the more she finds she can’t stop looking at him. 

“My outfit isn’t bad.” She pouts, pulling her t-shirt out by the hem to look down at it. 

“I didn’t say it was bad. You just looked like a kicked puppy at the sight of mine ever since we left the house. We have an extra 45 minutes before check-in starts- we can just…try something if that’s what you wanna do. If I read it wrong you can punch me, make me beg on my knees for forgiveness, and we can leave for the class immediately.” 

His earnest expression mixes with her curiosity of going into a clothing shop. It’s almost irritating how right he is all the time. Why is he so honed in on her and how she reacts to everything? 

“I kind of hate how right you are all the time.” She murmurs, unbuckling and clawing at the door handle. She’s out of the car while Namjoon is scrambling to follow her. 

(She misses a crucial pout on his lips at her rush to get out, instead of waiting for him to open the door. To be fair, he’s never done it before and she’s pouting as well.)

As Namjoon rushes up to her, Y/N keeps her gaze on the shops, trying to figure out how different they all are. She hates that she has to search out Namjoon’s help so soon after showing her irritation. 

“Which one?” She asks and clarifies, “something cheap- something comfy.”

Instead of answering, he presses a warm hand into her back as he did so long ago. She forgot about the feeling, but somehow she now releases how much she missed it. She’d truly let him guide her anywhere with a warm hand on her back. 

She’s caught off guard by the sudden change in her feelings- turning to glare at him but instead being greeted by him opening the door to the shop for her. The ding rings loud above them, indicating a customer’s arrival. His warm hand directs her to go in front of him- a rush of warm air greeting her with a fresh scent. Her irritation dissipates with the sights before her. 

She was always too afraid to go into crowded areas. She learned quickly that people like her- hybrids, homeless- weren’t welcome around people that were well-off. Even those that had some money were well-off. Now, she can see what these places are. She can see racks of new, colorful clothes line along the store. All seem to be so new and soft. All seem to be too much money. 

“Welcome in! Let me know if you need help finding anything.” Y/N looks over at a woman with a bright voice. She gives her a pointed smile that doesn’t last long but lingers on Namjoon. She immediately becomes uncomfortable. The only thing keeping her from fleeing out of the store from that look alone is Namjoon’s comforting voice. 

“Hmm, how about jeans?” 

Despite her hatred for the fabric, Y/N looks down at the rack of jeans that Namjoon is swiping through. She chances the fabric, rubbing a few pairs between her thumb and index. No matter the amount of times she tries, she hates it. 

“Mmm, is there another type of pants they have?” 

Namjoon works hard to find something she likes despite her dislike for most fabrics. Honestly, she’s willing to try lots, but some of the fabric is just far too scratchy despite it being brand-new clothing. 

Because of the time limit, it’s not long before Y/N is in a dressing room on her own. She feels as though she needs to go quickly, but changing in such an unknown place feels weird. She pushes through to prove to herself that this is normal, this is something that she now has the privilege of doing. 

Namjoon helped her pick a pair of pants that were pretty similar to his baggy, soft slacks. The fabric cinches at her waist without being uncomfortable and flows out to give her a comfortable fit around the legs. She instantly likes them, feeling the fabric under her fingers as a smooth, soft texture. Her tail even perfectly fits into the little space made specifically for them to come out of- showcasing the soft fur with no forgiveness. The shirt is the tricky part. He had told her this type of shirt would look nice, but honestly, she can’t understand the want to wear a shirt that fits the exact shape of your body. Isn’t that the point of clothes?  To cover you.

The shirt fabric is, again, a nice feel under her hands- the only reason she takes it off the hanger and slips it on. Upon adjusting it and seeing herself, she can admit her wrongs. The shirt is plain just how she likes it, white with no showy frills or awkward pieces. It perfectly forms to her shoulders, chest, and stomach, sitting just above the pair of pants. She knows she can’t take long, but seeing herself in this feels- amazing. To put something on that feels good and looks good was something she didn’t know was possible. She becomes a little shy at the thought of Namjoon- or anyone, but especially him- seeing her in this. But, she has no time and maybe that’s for the best. She can’t overthink right now. 

Slipping on her shoes to complete the look, she moves the thick curtain to the side and steps out into the open. Namjoon isn’t far at all, looking at another rack, presumably to find something else if she doesn’t like this. He instantly finds her eyes, giving her a smile and meeting her where she is. She watches as he examines her with open gestures, nervous about what he thinks. His gaze shifts to one she hasn’t seen before, one that she sadly can’t place.

“It looks like it fits perfectly. Does it feel good?” His voice seems to get lower in the small space they take up. His hand comes up to the pocket of her slacks, fixing a mistake she couldn’t see. Then he reaches for her shoulder, fixing another thing she’s sure didn’t need it. 

“Yeah. It feels good.” She answers, a ringing in her ears causing her to focus on the way his features scrunch and release in his own thinking. “I’ll get this.” She says, hoping to put an end to whatever this is. That seems to do the trick, as Namjoon gives a tight-smiled nod and goes into the changing room to grab her clothes she forgot about. 

Luckily, she was able to just wear the clothes out of the shop after Namjoon helped her find the tags to cut off with scissors the cashier helped to provide. She didn’t pay attention to the price but quickly grabbed the receipt as Namjoon was cutting off the tag of her pants. She slips it into her pocket unnoticed as Namjoon slips the cashier the scissors back. The change in her demeanor was unnoticed by Y/N as Namjoon was so close to her so casually- she doesn’t care after this anyways. Namjoon’s here for Y/N, not the cashier.

With her gray sweater still keeping her with some semblance of her ‘normal’, Y/N enters the class on her own despite debating the whole ride over if she should invite Namjoon to actually sit in this class with her. It really took too much control to not ask- she’s getting far too comfortable with the man she met only a few weeks ago. To be fair, he asked her a few times if she was still alright to go on her own- probably from some horrified look on her face she still has no idea how to control. But, she declined again and again only to have Namjoon still make sure she knew that he’ll be a call away. 

Now, the line of hybrids she stands in seems to be an imaginary thing as she thinks about how odd she may look. She’ll never be a normal person in normal clothes- not when she knows she still sees someone homeless in disguise. The line moves and she blindly follows, getting to the front to be greeted by another two hybrids. She can’t focus on exactly what type they are while she’s staring at the paper below her. She has to write her name. Something she’s only done in grade school, and barely done since. 

“Hi! Just verifying you’re here for the hybrid version of the development class?” The young man at the table asks. 

“Yes.” 

“Perfect! We just need your name and date of birth for survey purposes.” 

Date of birth. An unexpected question in this circumstance. She freezes in thought. They estimated that her birth year is 1998, making her about 25 years old. She can just lie. She can do that- it should be easy. She writes her name with unpracticed, scratchy letters, hoping they aren’t judging her. Then she thinks only a moment before writing 1/1/1998. The easiest date she could think of as fast as possible. 

If the two that greeted her are weirded out by it, they don’t show it, instead they hand her a tag with her first name on it, written with such perfect writing she awes at it, and points to the class-type room that other hybrids are sitting in. 

She peeks around the doorframe to see if the packed room allows for a spot where she doesn’t have to be directly next to someone. Instead, more hybrids line the back wall than they do up front. To be honest, there aren’t that many people here, it’s only because the room is so small. A spot catches her eye, sadly up front, but it’s an open spot next to a girl. A girl is better than a guy- even if she’s squished in. Silver lining. 

She squeezes through conversations until she’s just next to the girl. 

“Is anyone sitting here?” She can now see that she is about her age- a pretty girl with long, straight black hair that almost reaches her waist. Her skin isn’t tan like Y/N’s, but a naturally beautiful brown that compliments her features well. 

“No, not at all! Go ahead.” The girl gives her a smile that seems far too excited for the situation they’re in, moving slightly to give Y/N a little more space in the crowded room. 

“Thank you.” Y/N says as she tries her best to get comfortable. 

“You’re very pretty, I love your curls! I wish my hair was naturally curly, but I can’t get it to hold a curl to save my life.” The girl seems to talk away despite Y/N not giving her any response back. “Sorry, my name is Lena. What’s yours?”

“Y/N.” Lena’s smile seems to brighten upon getting her answer. 

“Such a pretty name.” 

“Thank you,” Y/N slinks a little under the praise, hoping she doesn’t look as meek as she feels. “Yours is pretty as well. You’re pretty.” She responds with honesty, hoping it’s not weird to say it back. 

“Ah! Thank you! You’re so sweet. I was scared it was just gonna be a bunch of weird guys taking this class. But I’m glad it’s a nice mix and that I have you.” Lena looks around the class and at the clock on the wall, giving Y/N a chance to guess her animal. She doesn’t have enough time before Lena is looking back at her and examining her own features. 

“Oh my goddess, you’re a cheetah aren’t you?” She gestures to the tail wrapped around her waist and the ears sticking from her loose curls. Y/N gives her an awkward smile and a nod, hoping she won’t say something weird like Richard's friend did. 

“That is so cool!” She says with a hush that doesn’t make everyone look over at them, she’s thankful for that. “I’m just an ol’ regular black lab.” 

Y/N looks over her black, floppy ears, finding it obvious now that she knows it’s a dog that has those ears. She wonders if all dogs and wolves are this friendly. 

“Regular isn’t bad.” Y/N says the only thing she can think of with honesty.

“No, but how exciting that you can say you’re rare. Plus, it’s easy getting people’s attention- look.” 

Y/N looks around the room as Lena gestures for her to do, seeing not-so-discreet looks her way, some even full-on staring. 

“That’s not very comforting.” 

“They’re just curious. It’s really not common seeing, even meeting, a cheetah. I’m honored.” 

“You’re a lot nicer than they seem to be.” They’re stares are more like looks of greed and slimy feelings. While Lena feels like a friend she has known for some time. 

“I’m glad you think so. Not everyone likes someone so loud and talkative- it’s just my lab, it makes me love people and I become loyal far too fast.”

Before Y/N has the time to answer, a tall woman with too many bags enters the room with a loud greeting. 

“Hello, everyone! If there isn’t a seat for you, please just be mindful of walkways. We weren’t expecting this large of a class but one of my peers was free for the hour so we can split all of us into two rooms.” Everyone immediately quiets down, probably hoping to quickly get into a seat and get started. Before continuing, she sets her things down and takes a count of everyone faster than Y/N can process. 

“Perfect! Exactly 30. There are exactly 15 seats in here, so those standing please go to the room right across from here, a gentleman will be standing right outside.” 

With everyone settled and the doors shut, Y/N feels a weight off her chest now that the room isn’t so packed. 

“Alrightie, my name is Aspen and I’m a cape fox hybrid. My main job is a teaching assistant at the university but I’m a volunteer here at the hospital for various hybrid specific classes- mostly for experience- but I really love being here for those wanting to learn. Today’s class is especially important and more intimate so I won’t be asking for introductions as I usually do, but I will ask or read your name if any questions or add-ons come up. We have a range of ages, so I do ask that everyone be polite and to not blurt any comments or remarks. Any questions?” 

Everyone seems to look around at each other, but no one speaks up at the moment. 

“Perfect! Let’s get started.”

-

Y/N thought this class would be a lot more awkward, but because she’s sitting up front, she really is only focused on the different, detailed anatomy pictures in concentration. She didn’t realize how much she already knew, but also how much she didn’t know. 

“To put it simply, because of the nerve placement, stimulation will be pronounced here, at the head of the penis, and here, at the clitorus just above the urethra.” Aspen circles the specific parts of the diagram with her finger. “Okay, now that we know the basics, let’s look at hybrid specific anatomy.” Aspen takes down the diagram to flip the page and show a very similar diagram. 

“When we look at different male hybrids, we have to take into consideration their species. The largest difference will be the knotting aspect of intercourse for the wolf family- including dogs.” Y/N watches on in awe. “As for females, the main difference is sex-drive and how common heats are. Which leads me to one of the final points- ruts and heats.” Y/N sits up a little straighter, hoping to take as much in as possible. “Excuse me while I use the most conservative way to explain this- but please understand, no matter gender identity, your anatomy is all that matters in this situation.”

“Depending on species, animals and male hybrids will go into ruts- the timing and how often depends on each hybrid as well as the type of animal. During these ruts, males will want to breed with females, their primal and animalistic needs will want to expand their pack. Sex-drives will be heightened, animals that have knots will produce more semen, and overall the need to care and be with their pack is most important. For females, an equivalent would be a heat. Heats prepare the female’s body for pregnancy, and vice-versa, the female will have a need to be bred- thus, it’s much easier for females to become pregnant. If you’re unsure exactly when you and your species or breed has their rut or heat cycle, I would suggest getting blood work done at a hybrid-friendly facility. Any questions?” Without thinking of anyone around her, Y/N raises her hand. 

“Yes…Y/N?” 

“Yes, I was wondering how one knows when they’re going to start their heat or rut- like, are there more symptoms?” 

“Very good question! A good base list of symptoms before starting are increase in body heat, need for physical contact and scenting, the need to shift into your animal form, the need to obsessively care for others and keep them close, and food or drink related cravings. Those with a vagina will experience bleeding as well. Not as a human does, but just the first couple days of the hormonal cycle. Not all will always be present, and overtime you will learn how yours is specifically- but I just always suggest you be open about your worries or symptoms to your doctors or those you will be sharing your heat or rut with- this is a sensitive time for us hybrids, and it really is important to have someone we can trust to be with us and take care of us.” Aspen gives Y/N a firm nod and smile to make sure her question was answered. 

Y/N can’t help but think about how miserable this time would be- especially when she has no one to help her. Having all those random bodily changes that are incurable and having to be managed on her own…hell.

-

The class is over before she even realizes it’s been an hour. Everyone seems to have the same idea upon standing, stretching with different pitches of groans. 

“Well, that was fun.” Lena gives with a sarcastic undertone. 

“It was!” Y/N responds with all seriousness. She didn’t think to realize that learning would be something she found to be so fun, especially when nothing went wrong and she didn’t have anything to worry about. Lena gives her a warm smile before leading them to the exit behind others. 

“So, what brought you to this class?” Lena asks with curiosity quiet enough to keep the conversation between them. Y/N tries to think of a quick response, instead going for a half-truth. 

“I wasn’t given the opportunity to take one before. What about you?” 

“My professor recommended it to our class. I’m studying to become a therapist- this was just an opportunity to see how exactly a class like this would be taught and how I can specify my information to give to future patients. It was more of a study of the presentation elements. Does that make sense?” 

“I think so.” Y/N says, honestly a little confused but fascinated. The two share a few giggles at her response- finally getting out of the room. They seem to be going the same way to leave- walking side-by-side to the main hospital entrance hall. As she gets closer to the automatic sliding doors another person walks in, allowing a gust of cool air to meet them. A familiar scent hits her- the musky vanilla she can never get enough of. Upon exiting, she looks for the owner of the scent, finding Namjoon sitting at one of the benches outside of the hospital. 

“Thank you for keeping me company.” Lena suddenly says, turning to a distracted Y/N. “Ehh, this is kind of embarrassing but- it’s my first year at this school despite it being my third year in a uni- and I was wondering if maybe you’d like to keep in touch? I’m still adjusting to the city and would love some company once in a while.” Y/N’s attention is back on Lena- shocked that her impression was good enough for- a friend?

“Yes, of course! I-” She checks her pockets, looking for her phone in the usual spot. It’s not there. “Oh, I forgot my phone-” A hand she finds is connected to a smiling Namjoon holds out her missing phone. “Where?”

“You left it in your other clothes, you got a text so I found it and decided to just wait up here by the door in case you needed anything.” 

“Thank you so much.” With relief, she quickly swipes through to open her contacts and hand the phone to Lena. She’s quick to putting in her number, handing the phone back with a mischievous smile that Y/N catches. “Oh, sorry Lena, this is my friend Namjoon.” Y/N gestures to him as he stretches a hand out to shake Lena’s in greeting. 

“Nice to meet you. I’ll let you guys go though since I have another class soon. it was nice to meet you as well, Y/N.” She can’t read the glances that she gives when looking between her and Namjoon, but she is too content with making a friend to care. 

“It was nice meeting you, too.” Both Y/N and Namjoon say at the same time- they both whip their heads towards each other with pointed looks. 

“Jinx.” Namjoon quickly says.

“What the hell does that mean?” 

“You owe me a soda.” 

“A soda?”

“Yeah, but I’ll just take a hug instead.” Namjoon stretches out his arms in waiting. 

The odd gestures make her look around to see if anyone else is seeing what he is doing as well. She can’t spot any stares, but Namjoon’s confidence is definitely higher than her’s. 

“You’re embarrassing.” She can never decline a hug from him- even with her remark, she mumbles her feelings and leans in for a quick hug. A ringing from Namjoon’s own phone pulls them away from each other. 

“Hey.” He answers simply. 

“I am.” He glances down at her when he answers the person on the phone. 

“Hyung, if today's too soon-” There’s a pause when he must get cut-off by the other person- he waits with a patience she’s seen before when he’s listening with intent. 

“If you and everyone is sure, I’ll ask.” 

“Okay, I love you- bye.” He ends the call with a tight smile. He turns to Y/N with the same expression. 

“Well, I’m sorry this is so last minute- but if you’d like- the pack says today would be a good day for a visit. We can just keep the visit to seeing Taehyung in his studio, but the pack would love to keep you for dinner.” 

Dinner with a pack- with Namjoon’s pack of all things sounds intimidating. Intimidating, because she would definitely need to be making a good impression when she doesn’t even know what proper etiquette in a pack’s home would be. Of course she also thinks about Taehyung- she wants to see him again and she can’t help but admit to herself that she truly misses the unpredictable cheetah. 

“I would like to see Taehyung and his studio- but meeting your pack seems a bit…”

“Daunting? Invasive? I’ve never been in that position before and it feels like I'm out of my place if I eat dinner in your home.”  Y/N finds a soft, curious expression on Namjoon’s face, worrying her as she waits for his response. 

“If any of us were uncomfortable with you visiting- I mean even one of us- then we would wait and definitely wouldn’t bring it up. They just can’t let a guest be in the house without feeding them and getting to know them- and to be honest, you’re special. You’re someone that everyone in the pack has been curious about, especially with Taehyung being so progressive in the friendship. As for the visit being daunting, I wouldn’t say any of the guys are scary. Honestly, they’re all a bunch of mushy nerds.”

Y/N can’t stifle a ‘pfft’ of laughter at his description. She really can consider this- she really has a reason to go and information on why she should go. But-

“How do I act in someone else’s pack home.” 

“Like yourself.”

“Do I need to change? I don’t really have anything better to wear- Does my hair look bad? It’s hard to manage any different if I've already let it dry for the day- How do I know when I’ve been there too long?” Her questions come out in rambles and thoughts to herself. 

“Y/N,” the assured voice pulls her gaze to his- Namjoon’s hands place themselves on her shoulders, emphasizing their eye-contact. “Be yourself, dress in what’s comfortable for you in a new setting, you and your hair always look beautiful, and a host will always be vocal about their intentions. As one of the hosts- it is a casual visit with little-to-no preparation on a weekend, meaning there is no overstaying your welcome in this case.” 

“Of course you have all the answers.” Y/n says sarcastically, actually considering it now that she has answers and Namjoon seems overly confident in them. 

“I have lots of answers. Not all.” Namjoon points out. 

“Well, I have one answer.” 

“Hmmm, I’d love to hear it.” He hums and pushes with a voice too deep and too wanting for her to think about for a second longer. 

“I’ll go.” 

-

Taehyung - earlier that day

Namjoon left in a flurry of quick assurances this morning because of his habit of sleeping in on the weekend. Taehyung knows why he left but he also knows that Namjoon said it was just a quick meeting that Y/N was anxious for- so Taehyung stayed to work in his studio some more. 

He loves the weekends knowing that different members of the pack will be in and out of the house, thus allowing him to go inside at any time he wishes to find a warm body to wrap around. 

Despite the content he finds on the weekends, Taehyung can’t help but miss Y/N. His hopes that the pack members would be more open about her visiting have dwindled into unspoken wishes. He usually is so open, but after just two meetings- the pull he feels towards her is more than he was prepared for. He’ll wait for now.

He’ll wait until the members are comfortable, he’ll wait until he knows exactly what to say, he’ll wait until Namjoon can admit to himself that she feels like something more than a friend to them. 

-

It isn’t more than an hour after Namjoon has left when he hears a familiar knock at his studio door. He didn’t even know anyone was approaching with his focus so set on his current piece. Each piece is nothing intricate, but because of the precise shapes and movements, it takes him a while to put pieces together- especially because he likes the quieting of his thoughts so much. 

From the knock alone he knows the member that decided to risk a ‘shoo-ing’ was Seokjin. Taehyung opens the door with just a crack allowing the two to see each other. 

“Can we talk? About Y/N.” The name immediately gives way to show a perk in his features, making Seokjin smile in a knowing way that Taehyung knows too well.

Giving himself a well-deserved break, Taehyung has the conversation take place on the back porch. The comfortable couch is covered by the veranda that allows the cushions to stay plump and soil-free. Taehyung takes his place there next to a sighing Seokjin. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t talk about this with you before- I had to do a lot of self-reflecting before I felt like I could face you with this.” Taehyung’s schooled expressions are always perfect. But, around his pack- around those he cares for deeply- he knows they can see the slips in his features. 

“When we found out there was another cheetah, I was extremely happy for you. Taehyung, I want nothing but the best for you, and I want you to be able to have Y/N in any way you find fit- but I struggled to find a place for her upon the first time even hearing about her. I was already trying to fit her into our house and figure out how to have Jungkook around another stranger when he’s still in therapy. I was in over my head.”

“Those are valid reasons, hyung. You are about the pack.” 

“Yes, but, just as Namjoon has seemed to perfect this certain skill- I still have yet to get it right- I wasn’t putting you first in a situation that quite literally revolved around you. I’m so sorry that I didn’t make this seem as important as it truly is.” Seokjin is always so raw with everyone. As the oldest, he’s been through certain experiences that we haven’t, and with him being the youngest in his blood family he is able to understand what all of us need. With so much to think about, he always comes around. 

“I don’t blame you, hyung. It was new to all of us- it was scary and I even needed some type of restraint to be able to let myself process everything properly. The wait on being able to have her come here, the small wait between visits- it helps me not go in over my head. I want this to be genuine and well-thought.” Taehyung responds with a truth that aches in his chest. His cheetah has wanted her beside him all day and all night, but this is not something he can just do in a pack. He needs to think of himself, of Y/N, and of everyone he loves so dearly. 

“I want all of us to be open about it. And after talking to everyone except you and Namjoon- it seems like I’m the only one that was panicking- so, I will follow your lead, and I will be there for you whenever you feel you want something more or less. We can figure it out, okay? I’d love to have her over today, if you’d like to see her this soon.” 

Taehyung’s cheetah wants to immediately pounce on Seokjin for the offer- wanting to leave the fox breathless and not being able to speak another word for hours- but Taehyung lets the feeling fizzle into excitement. 

“Yes, please.”

“My sweet cheetah.” Seokjin coos with a quiet tone and subtle voice inflections. Taehyung leans forward, leading with his forehead to meet Seokjin in a head bump that lingers. “If I mess up, please know I will always make my way back to clean it up.” Seokjin says with certainty. 

“I trust you.” Is all Taehyung gives him. Trust is the most important to him, it’s the one piece of himself he gives with finality and certainty. Only six people on this planet have it. 

-

Y/N

While the Caddel house is a one-story, perfectly two-bedroom, home-y house that isn’t intimidating- Namjoon’s pack home is a two story, large property-ed, nightmare. 

Which is exactly who Y/N still has yet to get out of the parked car. 

“This seems more formal than you made it sound.”

“It’s only large because of the size of the pack.” Namjoon assures, giving her shoulder a couple squeezes that lower to her elbow. She welcomes the touch despite her nerves being on fire. 

“How big is your pack?”

“Seven guys including me.” Seven men in one house versus a measly, frail woman that has no idea how to defend herself. Though she somehow has no reason at all to believe that Namjoon would harm her or put her in a position that could possibly cause her harm- Y/N still struggles greatly with men. The only way Namjoon will know is if she tells him. It’s the only way she can guarantee that she won’t break down mid-visit.

“Namjoon, can I be honest?” She swallows the thick feeling of panic that always fights its way up when she tries to tell him something about herself. She can do this. 

“Of course, Y/N.”

“I struggle being around men. I struggled being around you, and only once I was comfortable was I presented with the ability to meet Taehyung. And I went out of my comfort zone to find that- because I trust you, I trusted Taehyung enough to meet him so suddenly and alone that next day. I trust you in a way that I’ve literally never known before- in a way that scares me more and more everyday.” She has to take a soothing breath that stops tears from falling. “I need to know something before I go into that house.” She points towards the front door that she can see from her passenger side window. 

“Okay.” Namjoon says in a way that shows he’s trying not to break the bubble she’s created for herself. 

“When I go into this house, I need to know that I won’t be put into a position that hinders me in any way. I need you to honestly tell me what you know will be the case. Because I can’t just think it- I need to hear it from someone I trust.”

She watches as he searches her for more answers, trying to uncover the little bit she was able to give him. But, he doesn’t find it, and Y/N doesn’t give anymore to him. He takes it, processes it, and remembers- thoughts that she seems to see written on him so earnestly. 

“As the leader of this pack, I can guarantee that everyone in this house puts others' needs before their own, especially a guest’s needs. Not all seven will be present right now, I think three are home including Taehyung- and I know for a fact that when Dinner comes and we are all together- they will be nothing but respectful.”

Y/N takes a few deep breaths that allow her to calm herself and allow Namjoon’s words to sink in. This is Namjoon- this is the one that always felt oddly familiar. Like he was a missing piece. 

“Thank you.” She says with genuinity that couldn’t possibly be replicated. “Let’s fuckin’ do this.” She gives herself as she unbuckles and makes sure her phone is tucked tightly into her back pocket. Somehow Namjoon is at her door in that time, opening it for her and grabbing her jacket from her arm without a question. 

The front of the house provides a look into their lives. This is the type of home she thought she’d never even get a peek into, let alone being invited into with certainty. The grass is perfectly cut and too green. Despite the boring lawn, the surrounding plants and vegetation allow a diverse array of pretty things to look at. The plants lining the pathway to the door catch her eye. They’re perfectly taken care of. 

“Seokjin prides himself in the health of our pretty plants. He loves it, loves taking care of us and feeding us. It’s very cute really.” Namjoon’s warm laugh says all she needs to know. They all love each other. She’s going to witness that with her own eyes instead of imagining what it would be like to have a pack. All she can do is nod. 

“He’s the eldest, but not the first of our pack, he’ll probably greet you first before Taehyung even knows you’re here.” 

Step-by-step, she gets closer to an impending end. The dark, woody front door complements the house so well. Without a knock, Namjoon is twisting the knob, only to look back at Y/N with questioning eyes. 

“Let’s fuckin’ do this.” She whispers next to the open door, giving Namjoon a little pump of her fist in the air despite her eyes begging to release emotions that feel all too much. He gives her a few more long seconds before swinging the door open all the way and stretching his arm out for her to go first. 

“Shoes are fine to stay here, and the top row of slippers are for guests.” Namjoon is quiet with his pointed instructions, allowing her some last moments of calm silence. Despite his words, he sets her shoes aside for her and sets a pair of slippers in front of her socked feet. His and her jacket already hung on a rack of many outer layers.

The front entrance doesn’t hide anything in terms of layout. There is no wall or hallway blocking off the large living room. It’s all clean, yet lived-in. Y/N can see it in the conveniently placed blankets that are folded onto one large, cushioned rocking chair- all varying in colors and patterns. She can see it in the shoes that scatter the entrance, and the movie cases that sit randomly along the entertainment center. She can smell it even, some type of baked good scent permeates into the air and welcomes her with open arms. Thankfully, the only thing that doesn’t welcome her, is the pack members. It’s strangely quiet.

“I apologize if anything is a mess, I can’t always predict what these animals will do.” Y/N smiles at the double meaning, shaking her head with a soft ‘it’s okay.’ 

“This is the living room, of course, and then up the stairs are the bedrooms. It’s originally six bedrooms but we really only use the three on the top floor for their intended purpose. The ones on this floor are now a workout room, supply room, and an extra closet.” He leads her with that warm, comforting hand she loves so much, gesturing in directions where hallways lead and doors are shut. 

“We have two bathrooms down here,” he points to the closest one for her to remember. “And three upstairs. And this-” he leads her into a curved door frame that opens in a large kitchen. “Is the kitchen. Exactly where I knew Seokjin would be.” The amusement in his voice gives her the boost to eye the broad back of the man she now knows is Seokjin, the oldest in the pack. He seems to be doing something at the counter she can’t see, his large, tall frame hiding it from her. 

“I’m sorry, let me just stretch this dough and then I’ll be a gentleman.” His voice doesn’t seem to match his body- higher than Namjoon’s but effortlessly smooth. It takes him only a few seconds longer before turning to the sink that sits in a counter that is in the middle of the kitchen. It’s an odd placement, she thinks, but she’s soon distracted by Seokjin. 

He’s…stunning. To put it very simply. His hair is a fluffy, unnatural orange that somehow doesn’t look weird on him. His pointed ears match his hair perfectly and end with white tips. His features add to the overall awe-feel that he seems to give off in wafts. She’s had just enough time to look at him as he washes his hands with white sweater sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He walks around the counter to show the full apron he’s wearing covered in flour and other smudges. 

“Hi, I’m Kim Seokjin, eldest, red fox.” He sticks his hand out for her to shake, a gesture that she’s only done a few times. She takes the opportunity, only to conform, as she really doesn’t see the need for them. 

“Hyung, this is Y/N.” Namjoon speaks up for her, as she seemingly doesn’t have a word to say. 

“Sorry, Y/N L/N, cheetah.” She shrugs as she states it, not used to stating her animal. The addition, for some reason, causes the pretty Seokjin to laugh unapologetically. 

“Yes, you are quite infamous. It’s an honor to meet another cheetah- it’s an honor to meet you.” He specifies, leaning the slightest bit closer as he gives her a warm smile. Wow, he’s unreal. “I apologize for the distraction I had. I wasn’t sure what you liked, specifically.” He heads towards the counter next to the stove, Namjoon gives her the smallest nudge in his direction. She doesn’t even need a glance at his face to make sure it’s okay, the smell alone begs her to move forward. 

“I decided on two sweet loaves and two savory. So, the sweet almond is done.” He gestures towards a pretty loaf of uncut bread still in the pan. The top is decorated with sliced almonds and a white drizzle she can’t name. “And the sweet yet tart blueberry lemon is done.” Another loaf with white drizzle, but this time she can see the blueberries and lemon swirls from the top of the bread. “Then, if you don’t want sweet, I made a jalapeño cheddar that’s still in the oven and am just about done prepping a simple sourdough.” He ends with a content smile, pleased with his array and abilities it seems. 

“It all smells amazing.” Is all she manages to say. “I’m excited to try them.” She must sound as meek as she feels in his presence, because his once assured smile turns into one of soft things. 

“We’ll make sure you get to try them all and take as much as you’d like with you.” He says with an assured nod. “Is there anything you prefer for dinner?” 

“No, I’ll eat anything.” She says honestly. 

“Mmm, what’s your favorite then?” 

“Meat.” It’s always the same answer, always the one thing she craves above all else. 

“That is the perfect answer.” He says just as a loud voice calls out from down one of the halls. 

“Namjoon hyung!” The voice is accompanied by quick stomping that has Y/N slink back behind Namjoon and placing a hand onto his wrist to still be able to see around his tall frame. 

Very quickly, a short-haired young man with ears that match Namjoon’s rushes around the corner. His sweaty face and shirt tell Y/N that he was probably in the gym that Namjoon mentioned before arriving. 

“Jimin, please no yelling for the evening.” The instruction has the man- Jimin- trying to peek at Y/N who’s now embarrassed by her own instincts. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I totally forgot.” He steps forward with confidence. Y/N quickly rights herself, stepping out and giving him a small wave. 

“I’m Jimin, Park Jimin, brown wolf.” He says with a matching small wave. She is thankful for the lack of a handshake. Two wolves, she realizes. Two wolves, one fox, a cheetah…and some others she doesn’t know yet. Already it’s an odd bunch to her. 

“I’ll be busy until dinner, but it was nice to meet you.” He gives her a genuine smile despite his rush. “Hyung, I can’t get this audio file to work, could you help me?” 

“Yeah, give me a minute, I’ll be right there.” Namjoon assures, turning to Y/N. 

“Jungkook is going to be more shy than the others, so I think for now it’d be best if Taehyung finally got to spend some time with you.” He says, giving her upper arms a quick rub just as Taehyung did that one time- a soothing motion that has her melting. 

“Okay.” 

The back yard is no competition for the pretty front yard, but it still has its charm that Y/N prefers over the front. Its purpose is comfort, and that is of the utmost importance to her. The small shed-type building is what Namjoon leads her towards, taking confident strides as she tries to take in the detail of their home. 

He gives a light knock that contrasts his features, making Y/N smile at the charms he so obviously has. The door almost immediately cracks open, then a couple seconds later it’s opening all the way to show a comfortably dressed Taehyung. 

“Y/N.” 

“Hi.” No matter their last meeting, Y/N is shy around the other cheetah. 

“You alright?” Namjoon asks with another squeeze to her arm. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” 

“Okay. Call me if you need anything, or just go on ahead inside if you need anything, Seokjin would be happy to help you. Taehyung.” Namjoon gives him a pointed look that she can’t quite understand. But, the younger seems to understand as he gives a nod back. 

Taehyung is pulling Y/N into the studio quickly, shutting the door with a soft click despite his movements. 

“It’s bigger than it looks outside.” Y/N observes, finding the shelves and cupboards to be full of supplies and paintings large and small leaning against the walls in unbreakable lines. She tries to focus on the paintings and what they display, but Taehyung is suddenly stepping closer. 

“Taehyung?” 

“I missed you.” He says unapologetically. She studies his face as he does her’s, trying to find a lie or a manipulating twitch. He’s certain and shows it with a crease in his forehead that gives a painful undertone. 

“I missed you, too. I was wondering how you were after the trip we took.” She says honestly. 

“Tired, but- you didn’t text me that.” 

“Ah, I’m not one to text, I’m sorry.” She tries not to wither under his intense gaze. It’s different than it was before, like he’s holding something back and she just can’t place what it is. “Are you okay?” 

“I missed you.” He says again. The more she observes him, the more she can see the small notes of something she’s missing. His fists clench and unclench at his sides, wanting. His ears twitch in odd intervals, his tail not as swift as usual, but more of a snake ready to strike. 

“Do you need something from me? You have to tell me, Taehyung, I’m not sure about these things yet.” She says honestly, earnestly, as she can feel a smoke of anxiety coming from him. 

Despite his jerky movements, he reaches for Y/N’s right hand with a slow question. She brings it to his hand in answer, allowing what he wants. He’s still slow to moving even with her allowance- placing her hand on his left cheek to cup his warm skin. A sigh leaves him without restraint. She can do that- she can touch and soothe because she too wants that. That’s okay. 

She brings her other hand up to cup his right cheek on her own, watching as Taehyung becomes less and less tense. She stays there until Taehyund drops his hand from her wrist. She moves as she wishes then, down to his neck, then his shoulders. She’s pulling him in before she can overthink it. 

On her tippy-toes she wraps her arms around Taehyung’s shoulders, giving them both the chance to have this. Giving herself the chance to experience this- a whole feeling whenever they are apart and come back together. Taehyung doesn’t waste any time reciprocating, bringing Y/N in by her torse. The tight squeeze of his hug isn’t uncomfortable, but shows her just how much he did miss her and how much he did need this contact. It’s comforting to hear reassurances and have actions to back them up- Taehyung has been open with her, and he is showing his want to include her in his life. 

She could almost purr at the warmth he gives off- somehow it’s more than Namjoon. She loves it- basks in it. 

“You seem anxious.” Taehyung breaks the silence suddenly. His face turns to give the top of her head a soothing rub. “Are you okay?” 

“Meeting new people is hard for me. I was just worried about what to expect when meeting everyone and how to act here.” 

“You should be yourself. You’ll like them.” 

“It’s more about hoping they’ll like me- that usually determines how someone treats you.” 

Taehyung pulls away only to give Y/N a faint expression she has yet to see on his face. 

“What’s not to like?” 

She tries not to dwell on how much he doesn’t know. Snippets of her past and what she’s done flash in and out of her mind. This is a new her, though. She’s always been genuine- Taehyung still knows the present Y/N and he somehow likes her. She’ll focus on keeping that intact. 

-

Taehyung takes the time to answer all her questions as he shows her all of his supplies. The difference in mediums is quite fascinating to her- there’s so many ways to make something, so much one could think up. Taehyung seems to think a lot with how many pieces he has done. It feels like hundreds are stacked and leaning on top of each other. It’s hard to focus on just one, but she makes a small round and ends up dwelling on the piece that seems to be in progress. A wooden stand holds up the painting perfectly- a made-for item that she finds extremely well-thought out. A small table and chair are perfectly placed for convenience, obviously allowing Taehyung to sit comfortably and reach his plate of paint. The painting is far more interesting though. 

Muted colors are perfectly placed and beautifully crafted to create a lake surrounded by trees. Some spots are left blank or obviously unfinished, but it’s still the most gorgeous thing she’s ever seen. 

“This is what you do every time? This style of art?” 

“Yes, it’s all I like to do. I paint things I like.” 

“Taehyung, it’s gorgeous- I don't know anything about what art needs to be, but this seems like it was made with so much thought and care. It feels like you.” 

“It’s fauvism. That’s the style, but it’s just something that helps everything be quiet.” Taehyung points a finger up to his head, “in here.” 

“That sounds great.” She quips to herself more than anything. 

“You can try.” 

“Oh, no, that would be too difficult. It’d come out looking awful.” 

“It’s not about how it looks in the end. It’s about how you feel.” Y/N really needs to know if these wise words that Taehyung is always spewing is a normal occurrence. 

She dwells on the idea, really more curious about how it would be to use the supplies than making art itself will turn out. 

“What can I use?”

-

Taehyung was absolutely right in stating that making art in this way truly quiets the brain. She has no idea how long it has been with her painting not resembling anything specific, but only streaks of colors that feel ‘right’. Taehyung told her to do that- ‘just do what you want, what feels right’. It’s really nice to try something new that she actually enjoys. This is something she could definitely do often, especially with so much to explore and learn about. 

The time passes without her noticing, and Taehyung slinks up behind her with no notice as well. 

“Break time.” Is all he says, producing a yawn that has Y/N looking up at him with a coo daring to break past her lips. She stops the thought, instead standing and cleaning her brush just as Taehyung taught her. 

“Are you done for the day?”

“No, just want to nap.” Taehyung points a thumb to the large, dark-gray couch lining one wall of the studio. 

“Oh, I can give you some privacy.” Y/N goes to undo her ‘smock’ that the older cheetah let her borrow for the day with her white shirt. 

“No,” he stops her as she gets it loose and off of her. “I want you to nap with me. It’ll be warmer, better.” Taehyung states without a sight of embarrassment. Y/N on the other hand is far too worried about how two people would nap on that couch comfortably. 

“How would we nap together?” 

“Are you tired?” He suddenly asks. 

“Kinda?”

“Easily, then.” 

That is all he provides her before he’s stretching out onto the couch cushions, pushing his back up to the back of the couch as he lies on his side. He gives a couple taps to the space in front of him once he’s settled with his head on an extra pillow. 

He can’t be serious. Surely this is too invasive. But, sure enough he is waiting with tired, pouty lips and another couple taps when she hesitates. The one thing that pushes her forward is that call she can’t seem to understand yet. Her cheetah yearns for this- a palpable thing that seems to push her forward to stand right in front of the couch. Her movements are light, calculated as she maneuvers into a lying position in front of Taehyung. There’s only an inch or so of space between them when Taehyung wraps his available arm around her and pulls her in that last bit, his hand resting just below the nape of her neck. 

The closeness from the gesture causes her to stiffen- until Taehyung’s hand is finally at her nape, massaging those circles into the muscle just as Namjoon did to her. The gesture causes her the same feelings, relaxing just about every muscle in her body to mush. 

This is where Namjoon said he’d learned it, and Taehyung just knew that it’d help her. He’d like it too then, right? With jelly arms, she wraps her arm around him the same way he did to her. She finds that spot with no-so-calculated movements, but easily starts a low-pressure massage as well. Taehyung is instantly purring into her neck- the spot his head happened to settle as she basically lies her head on his. She feels the deep rumblings from her stomach to her toes. 

She doesn’t even realize that her own purrs start up without worry, until Taehyung is mumbling something that sounds a whole lot like ‘pretty’. She can’t focus at all, she can’t tell if he’s talking or if it’s just his rumbling vibrations. She doesn’t last long and soon falls asleep without a second thought. 

Warm, comfortable, and purring. 

-

Namjoon

“Did she decide to stay for dinner, hyung?” 

Namjoon made sure to check on the anxious bunny before dinner and his first meeting of Y/N. Jungkook isn’t one that grows comfortable quickly, and he definitely isn’t one that enjoys a large change in his routine. In this case, it’s not the biggest change for him, but definitely a scary one. 

“Yes, and she’s just as nervous as you are, so our attention for the evening will be as it is normally, just with another person that will join in on the conversation. I promise it will be okay, bun.” 

“I know. I definitely want to meet her. I’m just still working on the trust thing. ‘Just because I don’t trust her immediately doesn’t mean she’s bad’. That’s what I’ve been telling myself.”

“That’s great reassurance. I’ll do you one better, though. The leader you trust trusts Y/N enough to bring her into your home. I would never bring someone here that would put you in harm’s way.” 

“I know, hyung.”

“I’m proud of you no matter what, though. Just let me or any of the others know if you need a break, okay?”

“Of course.”

Just as Namjoon gives Jungkook an assured peck to the base of his bunny ear, their bedroom door opens to an amazing smelling Jin. 

“Could you get the cheetahs, please? Dinner is ready. Could you help me place the table, bun?” The eager-to-help bunny is already up and following his eldest hyung before Namjoon is able to exit. 

A few knocks to the studio door produce no answer. Namjoon can immediately guess that Taehyung has convinced Y/N to take a nap in his wish to take a break. Perfect. He cracks the door open just to be nice.

“Can I come in?” Namjoon makes sure to ask just like every other time. 

“N-” He can hear a groggy start to Taehyung’s disapproval before he’s cut off. Another few seconds pass before he- surprisingly- gets a different answer. 

“Come in.” Taehyung calls.

Namjoon takes care to make sure he’s quiet, but really is curious about the situation Y/N has Taehyung in that would allow her to convince him to let someone into his studio. He’s not too surprised to find the two cheetahs in a cuddling embrace. He would think that the two fell back asleep in the few seconds it took him to enter, if it were not for Y/N’s sleepy face turning to peek at Namjoon smiling down at her. 

So pretty and so soft. He can get used to seeing her so content and safe. 

“‘mjoon.” She says with a dopey smile he knows all too well. She had a great nap.

“Y/N.” Namjoon says in the same manner she did. 

“Missed you.” She seems to slip her arm out of a place he can’t figure out, stretching her body in whatever way she can and reaching out for a- patiently waiting- expectant Namjoon. He grabs her hand that looks like it’s too heavy for her to keep up. 

“I missed you too. Are you hungry? Dinner is ready and the others would love to meet you.” 

Those words seem to get her pushing away from a groaning Taehyung with a burst of very unexpected energy. Namjoon helps her still-tired limbs up to a standing position. 

“Did you have a nice nap?” 

“Mhm.”

“Are you hungry?” 

“Mhm.”

“Are you okay to meet the others right now?” 

She stops to think this time before responding- seemingly taking a mental list of actions such as fixing her hair and rubbing at her tired eyes. 

“I think so. If I look okay- God, I shouldn’t have slept right before this.” She groans in a voice that shows she’s still slightly tired. 

“You seem less worried than you were before, I think the nap was a good idea.” Namjoon takes extra care to fix a few pieces of her hair that seem out of place. Taehyung finally takes his time to stretch properly and stand from the couch that Namjoon just knows is too warm for him to be comfortable sitting on. 

“Can I just use the restroom first?” Y/N asks with pleading eyes. 

“Of course. Taehyung, can you go see if Jin-hyung needs help with anything else please.” 

With a head bump, he’s out of the studio before him and Y/N are, following in his footsteps to get into the house and lead her to the bathroom. 

Y/N

The bathroom Namjoon leads her to is similar to the one she knows in the Caddel house. It’s not as extravagant as she imagined it would be, but honestly, she’s thankful for that in the moment. In this simple bathroom, she’s able to focus on how presentable she is. Luckily it takes no time, realizing she doesn’t have much to worry about. Even if she did, she’d be quick in front of the mirror. She’s always fast to finish looking into them. 

Namjoon is happily waiting outside of the bathroom to lead her back to the dining room with company. Again, she’s lucky to have only Seokjin and Taehyung in the room when she gets there. But, it’s not long before a new pack member is coming out of the kitchen with a few sets of silverware in hand. 

“Jungkook,” Namjoon seems to encourage the shy-looking man with a hand. “This is Y/N, Y/N this is Jungkook.” The man she now knows as Jungkook is soft and subtle with his gestures towards her. He gives her a smile that probably mirrors her terrified smile. 

“Black bunny,” Is all he says, before continuing his rounds to put out silverware. Once he’s done and out of the room Namjoon is closing in and whispering in her ear. 

“He’s shy, but not unkind. He’s just very nervous.” Y/N didn’t get any unkind feelings with him, but she’s happy to know that it isn’t exactly her fault in a way that is uncommon.

“I’m gonna go see if they need any more help, go ahead and sit down here.” Namjoon directs her to a seat that sits in the middle of two other seats. She’s only hoping that the two she’s comfortable with will be sitting on either side of her. 

“Can I help in some way?” She asks before he leaves her alone. 

“Don’t worry, it’s just to bring out the food now that the plates and silverware is set.” 

She sits in her anxious skin as she’s left alone. When footsteps lead back into the dining room she’s expecting Namjoon or someone she met already but- she isn’t always lucky. 

“Oh, I’m sorry I thought Joon was with you.” A bright-voiced man looks back into the kitchen where she can’t see, but he ultimately decides to just introduce himself. “I’m Hoseok, but Hobi is fine, I’m a white tiger.” Y/N really can’t seem to take her eyes off of his hair. The perfectly cut style is platinum white with absolutely no imperfections. It suits him perfectly and matches his white and black tinged ears. 

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” 

“Very nice to meet you, is it okay if I sit before Namjoon gets back?”

“Of course.” Y/N automatically likes the way the white tiger carries himself. She’s even excited to meet another type of cat. 

“So, is everyone being normal?” Hoseok suddenly asks as he sits in a chair across from her and to her left- three chairs line on each side of the table and one on each end, a perfect eight. 

“Everyone has been really nice? If that’s normal.” Y/N tries to answer in the same manner he asks. At her response, he gives her a bright laugh that instantly makes her feel like smiling. 

“That’s good and yes it’s normal. Unless one of the younger ones can’t find anything better to do than argue.” He tells her, making her smile grow at the implied personalities of some of the members. 

“Okay, everything’s pretty hot still, so let’s please wait until everyone’s sat.” Seokjin’s voice pulls the two’s attention away from each other and onto the line of four hybrids that come in carrying various plates of food. Y/N is immediately in awe with the amount and variety. Namjoon seems to taunt her even more by placing the dish of sliced, perfectly pink meat in front of her. 

With the call out from Seokjin, the others that were nowhere in sight seem to manifest. Jimin hurries around the corner with damp hair and a new set of clothes, sitting down just in front of Y/N. Namjoon is able to sit next to her on the right and, thankfully, Taehyung on her left. Seokjin finally sets down the pitchers of chilled water before taking one of the head chairs. Jungkook sits next to Jimin who immediately gives the bunny a scrunched-nose head bump. And finally, a new face finishes the picture as he takes the other end chair, opposite to Seokjin. 

“Before we start- Y/N this is Yoongi.” Namjoon gives her the information.

“Black panther.” Is all he says as he pours and takes a few gulps of water. 

“He’s a man of few words, don’t worry.” Namjoon leans in and whispers. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” She still gives him despite his short greeting, feeling as though that is what’s most respectful. 

“Perfect, let’s eat.” Seokjin says unceremoniously. The sudden movements take her off guard, watching as the routine of giving and taking happens quickly yet precisely. Before she even knows it there is a scoop or a few pieces from each dish that was passed around. Everyone eats with ease that shows their comfortability with each other, dipping in and out of conversation. It’s nothing like what she’s used to. Eating with Maria and Richard happens in front of the TV. The two are old enough that they don’t mind their nights being spent like so, but Y/N can see how much more enjoyable this way of ending your day is. 

“So, Y/N, where are you originally from?” The question from Seokjin throws her so off-guard that she doesn’t even second guess the look she gives to the eldest as she opens and closes her mouth in thought. 

“I’m not sure, actually.” She finally says, expecting to kill the mood with her first attempt at conversation. But it’s true. She doesn’t know the place or how she got there. 

“That’s okay, some of us don’t know either.” Namjoon answers, causing Y/N to be taken aback only because of the normality that is in the home. She wouldn’t guess that some of these hybrids don’t know where they’re from like she does. She does catch a few pointed smiles that are there to comfort her, and a few that are all too eager to look away from her in their own thoughts.

The lull in conversation that includes her provides a great opportunity for her to finally try the food. With her fork, she goes for whatever catches her eye the most. The meat. She can now see that the sliced pieces were sitting on a layer of a dark sauce she’s never seen before lining the plate. She wastes no time being subtle, sticking the whole slice of beef into her mouth. 

Warm, soft, and perfectly cooked to her liking. The savory sauce even has a bit of sourness that adds to the overall goodness. Everything about it is perfect.  She goes for the pillow  of whites that she can only assume is mashed potatoes just like Maria makes sometimes. Upon scooping them into her mouth, she realizes that they’re honestly better than Maria’s. They’re creamy and light in her mouth- almost like a whipped cream would be. The flavors in the potatoes compliment it well and add to the beef well. 

She didn’t realize food could taste like this and compliment each other so well. With her usual meals, she’s focused on eating foods that she knows were picked only based on what her doctor recommended. And she’s now realizing how different everyone makes some of the same things. She doesn’t want to admit that Seokjin has definitely changed a part of her with this meal- that seems embarrassingly excessive- but it’s very true. 

“Good?” Namjoon asks beside her, a person she forgot was there completely. 

��So good. Perfect.” She states without missing a beat. 

In her effort to clean off her plate, she misses how Namjoon watches her as she eats in his home. She misses the content look Seokjin gives after he put so much effort into making the steak as he knows Taehyung likes it. She misses the look that Yoongi gives Namjoon through his lashes upon seeing the wolf’s expression towards her. 

Overall, she misses the text she gets from Richard, the message sitting unread at the top of her notification as the night slowly comes to an end. 

Her food is polished off and the conversation made towards her is more easy-going than the first question Seokjin asked. The whole pack must have gotten the point without it even being stated. Instead, she’s asked about her hobbies or favorite things to do, what she wants to try, and what her favorite foods are- pushed solely by Seokjin to answer. They all put in their own effort to include her. She doesn’t mind when Jungkook and Yoongi are included with just a hum of an answer instead of words. She’s just happy to be there now that she knows it’s safe.

She's more surprised about how young everyone is. Yes, she's the youngest at the table, but Jungkook is only a year older than her and Seokjin is only 6 years older than her. She's fascinated by their compatibility with them all being so young- as well as the success they seem to have in numbers of their pack and where they all live.

Namjoon never misses a beat when she’s unsure, giving her polite direction or ideas so she can think instead of letting her anxieties rid her brain of what to say. She could never thank him properly for the effort he puts into her. 

“Are you getting tired?” Namjoon asks her as she stands next to him and a smiling ‘Hobi’ that insisted on helping the wolf clean the dishes after dinner. 

“Only a little, the nap wasn’t long enough.” She quips. Her efforts today have made her tired, but she’s just really happy to see Namjoon in his own comforting place. She didn’t realize the small changes that would take place when he’s somewhere he knows as home. He makes more effort to give her calming touches and lingering looks that give her the confidence to be there and talk comfortably. 

“Let me just finish these and then we can wrap up and get you home, yeah?”

Why would the first answer in her head be ‘no’? 

“Take your time.” She says instead, taken aback by her own thoughts. “Could I…maybe thank everyone before leaving. I don’t want to just leave without making sure everyone knows I appreciate that they let me into their home.” 

Instead of a direct answer, she gets an unexpected squeal of a noise from Hoseok. 

“Oh my god, she’s the cutest, Joon.” 

“I know, it pains me.” 

She can only stare at the two as Namjoon finishes washing the dishes while Hoseok stays to dry the dishes. ‘What was that?’ Namjoon leads her into the living room- with no mention of this previous comment- where four of the pack members are sitting in different ways to watch a movie. 

Taehyung’s focus is immediately on her upon entering the room, while Jimin, Seokjin, and Jungkook all take a few beats before looking over to a waiting Namjoon. 

“Y/N is getting tired, so I’ll go ahead and take her home before it’s too late.” Namjoon gives her a little head bop to indicate that he’s done. 

“Uh, thank you for letting me into your pack home, and thank you for allowing me to eat with you. I appreciate everyone being so kind.” She gives with a smile that’s more awkward than anything, but she’s proud of herself for mentioning it without slipping up. 

“We’d be happy to have you over whenever one of the guys wants to see you.” Seokjin specifies with words that are specially picked. “Also, Yoongi turned in early because of his early schedule tomorrow, but we’ll let him know your feelings.” He also says with a care that Y/N appreciates greatly as well. 

“Thank you.” She finally says with a look to each member. With her final look being towards Jungkook, she finds his eyes on her tail wrapped around her waist. She instinctively wraps it tighter at the realization, hoping it doesn’t look as odd as she thinks it would be to hybrids that actually have the muscle to keep their long tails up and prettily sitting. 

-

She finally remembers to check her phone in the car on the way home. She finds that Richard sends her a message. One that she never gets. 

‘Hey, I’m sorry, but I’ll be working late tonight. I picked up an extra meal from my lunch and set it aside in the fridge for your dinner.’

‘Hey, my coworker is going to have to stop by the house to grab something out of the garage for an out-of-town job tomorrow. The back garage door is unlocked, so he’ll just be in and out. Please look out for a black truck if you’re at the house when he comes.’

He’d just let someone in and out of his house with her possibly being there? He’s okay with him in his house while he’s not there? 

The questions take over to cause panic to bubble up into her throat. He sent that second text only five minutes ago. She could still run into his coworker. That realization makes her feel a dread so instant- could it be the same man from last time? The one that Namjoon unknowingly told her to be aware of in her mention of cheetahs being ‘exotic’. 

Richard wouldn’t let someone like him be around her alone after that encounter. Would he? No, he’s a good man. He’s a good man. Richard wouldn’t do that. 

Her convincing takes up the whole ride, only realizing she’s home once Namjoon is at her door, opening it and letting the breeze remind her where she is. Her unbuckling is done with numb fingers. Her anxious movements to get out have her struggling to seem normal. 

“Are you okay?” Namjoon asks just as she climbs out and heads for the door. She feels sick as she responds, hoping it all sounds normal. 

“Yeah, just tired.” 

At the door, she fumbles with the key in her back pocket, taking a quiet deep breath before finally getting the key into the lock. Namjoon walked her up to the door behind her and waits for her to get inside safely.

 “It was nice having your company. If you ever need a place to get away from ‘volunteer Namjoon’ just let me know, okay?” 

“Okay.” She forces out and turns to switch on the lights in the living room with quick, shaky hands. 

“Hey,” Namjoon’s warm hand is on her shoulder to get her attention, “are you sure you’re okay?” 

No, ask him to stay. Ask him, please. Don’t lie to him. He won’t know how you feel if you lie. Just have him wait until that guy comes and goes. 

‘What if he has to stay for long? What if that guy just shows up and leaves with no other hindrance? She can’t just ask him to stay when she took up his whole day.’

Her thoughts contradict each other and fight as if they are two separate people.

“I’m just really tired, suddenly. But, I enjoyed seeing you today, like this.” She points out, hoping he doesn’t see the screaming in her eyes. Hoping he doesn’t keep asking. She’ll definitely give in if he asks again. 

“I enjoyed seeing you as well. Get some rest, okay? And let me know if you need anything.” He finds her eyes when they stray away from his. “Anything.” He repeats. 

“Okay. Goodnight.” She finalizes with a tight smile. 

“Goodnight, Y/N.” 

She shuts the door and turns to the living room to find an empty, quiet house. One that seems all too unsafe. More unsafe than the house full of seven men. To be honest, being in that house was the safest she’s felt in a long time. Maybe it’s because Richard wasn’t in it. Maybe it’s because they actually considered how she felt. 

Maybe she just needs rest. 

-

Namjoon

Leaving her like that was hard for Namjoon. Something about her change in demeanor and how she responded to him was unsettling. She’s never been that short with him, never had the need to stare at anything but him- only when she’s shy is she that way, but, this was entirely different. Something in himself was screaming to keep pushing. He stays sat in his car in the Caddel driveway for another 15 minutes before he realizes she won’t change her mind. 

Maybe he should’ve asked once more. Maybe he should’ve asked to make sure she wasn’t alone for the night. Maybe he should’ve just asked her to stay at the house in the guest room where she’d be safe and in his vicinity. 

Maybe he just needs rest. 

-

Sleep finds him in a series of thoughts that he can’t get out of his head. Something feels wrong no matter how he tries to think about it. He looks around to his pack members fast asleep. All were excited to end the night once he was back home, all shared their thoughts about Y/N and were happy to have finally met the other cheetah. Nothing in the house was giving him the feeling he got when dropping Y/N off at home. 

Still, he sleeps- and wakes at an ungodly hour with no reason. 

Except, there is a reason. A series of loud, sure knocks is beat into their front door. This time, Seokjin just about shoots up to immediately look over at the anxious wolf. The two share a silent conversation as the others somehow haven’t woken up yet- thankfully. 

The two hurry to throw on shirts and shorts, making their way to the front door. Passing the living room clock, Namjoon can see it’s only a few minutes past 5am. 

He’s the first one to the door, and the first to see who stands on the other side through the peephole. He opens the door immediately. 

“Is this the residence of Kim Namjoon?” Two officers, one human and one hybrid stand at the door. 

“Yes, I’m Namjoon.” He says with no tiredness in his voice as Seokjin catches up to him. 

“What’s going on?” Seokjin asks, his voice showing he just obviously woke up. 

“We were given some information about you upon bringing in a Y/N L/N last night. We have reason to believe that you were a witness in where Y/N was before she made it back home? We were wondering if you’d come in for some questioning regarding her location and the lead up to her going home.” 

That sick feeling was this. This is his fault.

#bts au #bts fic #namjoon au #namjoon x reader #bts x fem!reader #bts x reader #bts x y/n #bts x you #bts hybrid au #bts hybrid fic