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disneyprincemuke · 6 months

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midnights, 7 * mv1

the news is out: three time world champion, max verstappen, and his girlfriend of 6 years have been broken up since the singapore weekend.

pairings: max verstappen x fem!reader

warnings: -

notes: wow i took thE longest break from this

(series masterlist)

(prev) // (next)

max isn’t typically the type to let panic settle in. at least, that’s what he likes to think. he likes to tell people he’s not bothered but outsiders are always quick to catch up with his suppressed emotions.

alas, his worst fears have come true. news has broken that you’ve been broken up for almost 2 months.

he has not been able to talk about it with daniel, so he can only imagine how things will break down in austin.

he hopes that it’s not actually that big of a deal. plenty of other drivers have gotten themselves in messier breakups — the post doesn’t seem to touch on any speculations about how yours had come about. he can only bank on the hope that journalists are empathetic enough not to bring you up.

but you’ve been very involved in his career and the cameras on the paddocks. they never missed the chance to have you speak into a mic or have a private conversation with you.

pictures snapped of you together are never posted, but would be directly sent to either of you to truly encompass the privacy of your relationship. the respect shared between you and everyone on the paddocks was treasured, which is probably why your presence had been notable after you abruptly disappeared.

he sinks into his couch, phone in hand as he stares at the pictures that sparked up speculations. it’s a low-quality picture of you leaving the red bull home, head down as your hair shied you away from the camera. the second picture is of him coming out of the building, hair dishevelled as he stood with his arms folded over his chest.

“what do i do?” max mumbles, his finger swiping over the screen again and again, staring at the two pictures. as if it would change the course of things if he did it enough. “do i talk to her?”

“i don’t know, man,” daniel sighs, his face in the far corner of max’s screen. “i mean, the best you can do is to wait it out, right?”

“rumours could spread,” charles mutters, looking away briefly with his eyes widened. “if i were you, i’d want to do some damage control. but that’s probably just me.”

max sits back, staring at the empty half of his hotel bed. your absence is always noted when he’s all alone and he's too awake for his own good, once having the luxury of your company and bright smile making him feel giddy.

the difference between this breakup and all of charles' is that there is no controversy in this one. as far as he's concerned, this is all speculation from photos that are now circulating the internet and your obvious absence on race weekends.

nobody can even really confirm if it's true unless you or max say something. for now, they're just rumours. right?

unless you've started speaking to people, and gossip platforms. but you wouldn't do any of that, or at least that's what he's telling himself. but from what he can dig out of the grave in his brain, there was nothing that happened between you that can be twisted.

but what does he know?

he can only keep praying to the fact that you'll keep it as private as you usually do.

his phone is buzzing endlessly, his other friends sending him texts as the news shocks them as much as the world. lando is asking him if he's holding up fine, martin is expressing how he feels for max, and his own mother asking him why he hadn't told her earlier.

only victoria's message will be getting an answer. after all, she's the first person that found out.

"should i talk to her?" max thinks out loud, maximising the facetime call to get a good look at his friends' reactions. "she never does well with things like this, what if people are bothering her?"

charles' picture is overtaken by alexandra's face, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. "you wanna talk to her?"

max shrugs. "i don't know. maybe?"

"would that be the best choice though?" daniel tilts his head. behind him, heidi is approaching cautiously with a small smile. "babe, what do you think?"

heidi shrugs as daniel's camera slowly turns to her. "my opinion is probably not - it's been two months. and judging by the comments that i read, i don't think there's much disrespect that has to be told off publicly."

alexandra nods as charles slowly comes back into the frame next to her. "it's up to you, max. as of right now, it doesn't seem that serious."

max sighs again, this time louder as he feels everything coming down on him. he drops his head back and stares at the ceiling. "i don't know, you guys," he sighs again loudly. "i just want to know if she's alright."

"maybe not now, mate," charles answers sympathetically, frowning at him through the camera.

"just wait it out. it could die down quicker than you think," daniel says hopefully.

max nods, now suddenly feeling disinterest in their conversation. he only craves to be by himself now. "alright, i'll catch you guys in a bit," his eyes turn to the cats sleeping peacefully on the cat tree, "i've got to feed the cats."

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c-o-t-o · 7 months

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Shower Scene (Denji x reader) PART 2

(Part 1 here) (Alternate Aki arc, Part 1 here)

(Part 3 here)

(Part 4 (end) here)

Author: c-o-t-o

Character: Denji x fem reader

CW: 18+ only, sexual content/smut, character aged up, explicit language, blood, pain play, choking, bdsm (some CWs apply to different parts)

Misc: ~2.3k words, Part 2

About: After your shower with Denji gets cut short, you try to find time to tell him how you feel.

*Do not remove info or credit from posts when reblogging or sharing!*

Denji's face hovers just above yours with his hands on the floor on both sides of your head. The realization fully hits you now that you and Denji are both lying naked on the shower floor together and that he's aware now. Your chest rises and falls quickly as your breath quickens. Actually, Denji is so close to you that you can see your breath moving his hair. You remain frozen in his gaze, unsure of what to do now.

Denji brings his finger up to your chin, gently pulling your face closer to his.

"All those times that you'd say dirty things, thinking I didn't get it…" he drags the back of his fingers across your cheek.

"All those times I'd catch you staring at me…" his fingers glide down along your neck, staring at the bitemarks he left there, almost admiringly.

"Were you thinking of us together all those times? Of us doing things…" his voice trails off as he looks down at your chest. You instinctually move your hands to cover yourself, but in the blink of an eye Denji grabs your wrists and pins them above your head. You look away bashfully because you can't look him in the eyes and admit that he was right.

You see small amounts of blood flowing from your neck down the floor to the shower drain. It makes you wonder if your wetness absolutely pouring out of you would be noticable flowing away from you as well. You want nothing more than to lean up and kiss him, but now that you're in the moment, you freeze. 'Why? Why can I just do it? He's right here, he's so close…'

Denji's mouth slightly drops open at the sight of your boobs, your nipples hard from being out of the water and getting cold. With his free hand he starts moving his hand down towards your chest but stops right above them. He looks back up at you and swallows hard, practically drooling at the prospect of finally getting to squeeze a girl's boobs. You know that Denji's had a few girlfriends, but nothing ever got serious enough for him to cop a feel or sleep with one of them.

Although you still can't bring yourself to look at him, you manage to nod your head up and down. Immediately Denji's face becomes flushed and his mouth opens more in disbelief that you're letting him do this.

He gently cups the side first and lets out a slight gasp at how soft they are. His fingertips seem to melt into them as he tests the suppleness. His thumb slowly drifts over to your nipple which hardened even more at his touch. Not realizing how hard your nipple is, he unintentionally ends up flicking it with his thumb as you let out a moan.

So loud, in fact, that it echoes through the shower.

"---? Denji?" You hear a muffled voice coming from somewhere…

Suddenly the shower door swings open, Aki standing in the doorway. All he sees is Denji pinning your wrists above your head on the shower floor, him grabbing your boob, and blood seeping from your neck.

"Denji, what the fuck??! Get off her! What did you do?!" Aki grabs Denji's arm pulling him off of you. All you see before they're out the door is Denji reaching out to you with the saddest look on his face.

"Aki, wait, she-!" And in an instant they were out the door, Aki slamming the door shut behind them. You lay there on the shower floor, water still running… face beet red and soaking wet between your thighs. You grab your boob that Denji was just touching and sigh.

"I'm not going to last the night." You say to yourself.

Aki hands you a cup of tea while you and Denji sit at the kotatsu. "You have to imagine what was running through my mind when I opened the door, your blood washing away and Denji pinning you down…" Aki clears his throat and sits down with the two of you. "I didn't realize he was weak and you offered him your blood." He takes a sip of his drink and looks away from you, slightly blushing. "I didn't know I was… interrupting something."

You and Denji both wave your hands out as if to assure Aki nothing was happening, or that it was a misunderstanding. He looks at you, glares at Denji, downs the rest of his drink, then leaves for his room. Power and Meowy are passed out on the couch.

You peek at Denji from the corner of your eye and see him blushing intensely, head resting in his hand looking away. You giggle out loud, thinking about how intense Denji was earlier in the shower and him being shy about it now.

"What." He mutters, still looking away.

"Oh, nothing," your heart races. You've made up your mind that by tonight you'll have made your move. When then time is right. "You're just cute." His head whips around to look at you, but you don't falter. You rest your head in your hand as well and smile, red spreading across your cheeks. Denji seems to be searching for something to say when you place your hand on his knee under the kotatsu blanket, feeling the warmth from him and the heater. He jumps and slightly panics, not knowing what to do with all of this happening out of the blue. And with you being so straightforward for once. Usually the two of you flirt through sarcasm and innuendos. But you coming out and stating he's cute… he doesn't know how to react.

"So… have you ever imagined it, too?"

"Imagined what?" Denji asks dumbfoundedly.

"Us being naked together?" Your lip curls into a mischievous smile when he starts to panic to come up with a response.

"Have I… what? Hah, no! Well, umm." He looks down, cocks his head to the side, and looks back up at you, raising his eyebrows pleadingly. As if hoping you'd understand without him saying anything.

"Denji, I just gotta ask… did you actually need my blood or were you able to move the whole time? Was this all some kind of ploy or something…?"

" Of course not!" He sits up on his knees to slam his hands on the kotatsu in protest. "I really put my life on the line back there for us. It was a struggle to even stay conscious! Your blood just helped me really quickly is all. So… thank you. I really needed it this time."

"Shuuuuuttt uuppp!!" Power groans, sliding off the couch upside down. "I'm tryin ta sleep here! What are you all doing in my room?!" Denji rolls his eyes.

"You're in the living room, Powe-"

"WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?!“

"SHUT UP POWER! Ughh…" Denji stood up, your hand falling off his knee. "I'm gonna go to bed."

"Wait-" you grab Denji's hand as he starts walking away.

"I'm… I'm sorry if I scared ya before. But thanks again for helping me." Denji mutters.

"Denji, please… you didn't…" you plead. His hand slips out of yours as he walks off. "I wanted to!" You manage to say. He stops to listen, cocks his head to the side, and goes to his room without looking back. "Fuck." You sigh and fall back on the floor, legs still under the kotatsu. "Did Aki walking in on us ruin it for him?" You whisper to yourself. Disappointed, you get up and go back to your room as well.

Your room sits back to back with Denji's, and all you can think of is if he's thinking of you as well. Thinking of earlier…

Earlier when he was so delicately licking your neck and caressing your breast. Before you realize, your hand is already down your underwear, fingertips squelching in your wetness. You rub the nipple that Denji had accidentally flicked, pretending it's him doing it again. You sigh out loud.

Suddenly you hear a muffled moan and realize it's coming through the wall. Denji? Is… is he doing the same thing right now? Your mind races and you decide to go over and talk to him. Clearly he's thinking back on it, too.

You shuffle quietly to his door and tap on it with your nail, as to not wake up Aki or Power.

"Denji!" You try to whisper loudly. With no response you crouch down and try whispering his name towards the bottom of the door, but again, no response. The door is unlocked, so you quietly turn the knob and crack the door open. "Denji?" You say a little louder now. You don't hear him respond but hear his blanket moving and him breathing heavily. You feel your face blush, realizing that he's touching himself. You reach down, remembering the wetness you left collecting in your underwear. You slip in through the door and close it behind you, the metal of the lock clicking and startling him.

"Denji! Denji it's me it's okay" you murmur quietly, but louder now that the door has closed.

"What the fuck? Why are you in my room? Why didn't you knock?!" He blurted out, obviously scurrying under his blankets trying to make himself decent.

"I did, I'm sorry… I need to talk to you Denji. It can't wait…" you stand with your back to his door, fiddling your fingers.

Eventually Denji surfaces from his blankets in the darkness and opens the blinds to let the moonlight in. It was just enough to see roughly where you're going.

"Okay… what's so important that you had to come in here while I was jer- why are you here this late?"

You walk over and sit down on his bed next to him." Denji, I'm not upset with you. Or what happened earlier. I thought maybe you got upset with me because you left the living room so suddenly before."

Denji sighs. You can't make out the expression on his face in the dimness, but you feel his hand suddenly on your knee.

"I left because I started thinking about it too much. Then with Power being there after Aki walked in on us… it kept getting frustrating. But not because of you. I just couldn't look at you or I'd… I dunno."

You put your hand on Denji's. "I, umm… earlier in the shower… I liked it." You feel Denji's hand pull away, and there's just silence. You look in his direction but hardly see anything.

The silence goes on longer than you expect, and think that maybe it was a mistake coming in here.

Suddenly you feel Denji's fingers run through the back of your hair, cradling the back of your head, gently pulling you closer to him.

"I liked it more." He says low and seductively. Some of his face comes into the light when it hits you that he's leaning towards you.

This back and forth of uncertainty, feeling each other's breath, your noses touching, not sure if you should move in or wait, makes your heart pound.

Denji finally pulls your head closer to fill the gap and kisses you, hard. So hard, you begin to feel his sharp teeth through the barrage of his lips crashing onto yours desperately. You slide your fingers through his hair when his mouth breaks free from yours to moan.

He pulls you down onto his bed, kissing you again. Your tongues meet at the same time, tasting the recently drunken sweet tea in Denji's mouth. You feel his sharp teeth and shudder as he bites down on your lower lip with them gently, pulling away slowly so that they scrape across it.

His hands move quickly across your back, trying so hard to pull you in as close to him as possible. You feel his hardness against you and nudge your thigh against it. His head falls back as he moans out loud.

"Shhhh!" You clasp your hand over his mouth. "Not so loud, you'll wake them." Denji starts kissing your fingers as they lay over his mouth, kissing up your arm until he reaches your neck.

"Does it hurt?" He breathes onto your bite marks that have scabbed over already.

"No, not anymore." You whisper. He starts kissing and licking your neck, covering your mouth with his hand just as you yourself start moaning without realizing.

"You taste so fucking good" he whispers in your ear, then licks along the shell of it, sending a shiver down through your entire body. Your neck cringes at the sensation.

You haven't even realized that Denji's hands have been softly kneading your boobs over your shirt. You take your shirt off, and he stares at you all mesmerized again. In one swift motion he pulls his shirt off with one hand, throwing his shirt somewhere across the room. You put your hand on his chest, feeling his smooth skin. Hands trailing down, you trace circles around the opening to his chest where the chainsaw pull connects to him. He breathes out harshly, goosebumps popping up all over his skin.

You suddenly feel that Denji has been rocking up against you, rubbing his hard-on against your thigh. It turns you on so much that you swear at this point your wetness has most likely seeped through your underwear and shorts. A wave of desire runs through you as you push Denji onto his back, sitting on top of him. You grab his tie that's hanging nearby and tie his wrists to the frame of the headboard. He looks at you, somewhat shocked.

"Now it's your turn to be the one pinned down." You whisper quietly and seductively. You tighten the knot on his wrists when you say, "You asked me what I've been fantasizing about? Oh, Denji. I'm about to show you."

---------- To be continued ----------

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illusivelle · 1 month

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shake the frost / 2

pairing: william 'ironhead' miller x female reader rating: t (for now) length: 3,044 words content: established relationship with the triple frontier boys, cursing, bruises/cuts, tending to wounds (my jam) summary: you don't expect to find will waiting for you so late at night, and especially not for these reasons. a/n: just a sucker for one person taking care of another while they're hurt. really just feeding into my own agenda here. and also a sucker for some idiots who think their pining is unrequited. read part one link to ao3 here!

Next time.

Two words that had been ringing in Will’s ears, bouncing around his head. Words he’d been repeating to himself because he wasn’t sure you meant it, wasn’t sure what spurred it. Wasn’t sure why it awakened something in him that had been dormant for so long. Two words that felt like a promise of more – more time, more you.

It wasn’t as if it was something novel considering the way he’d looked at you, and caught you looking at him, too. All those fleeting glances you’d both share when he thought the other guys weren’t looking, tiny smiles and faint touches in passing. But this was something different, wasn’t it? A step in a direction he wasn’t certain either of you would make a move toward, or maybe he’d been overthinking the entire thing and it was just something polite you’d offered.

Either way, Will Miller couldn’t seem to get his mind off – nor wrap it around – the idea of ‘next time.’

If only said next time wasn’t under these circumstances, knocking on your front door in the state he was in, hoping that you were actually home.

You’d just pulled into your parking spot, locking your car door three times as you walked up to your apartment. The silhouette that’s slumped over your door is enough to have all the hairs rising at the back of your neck, one hand digging into your purse to clutch for something you could potentially use as a weapon. Shit, if only you’d listened to Frankie all those years ago, you might’ve been better prepared for moments like this. The only thing you could feel as you rummage in your bag is the dull handle of a switchblade, the one thing you did accept from Frankie if only to appease him and make him feel better about your safety.

And now you were kicking yourself in the fucking ass for not listening.

Tentative steps bring you closer to your door, your fingers grasping the knife tightly as wary eyes assess every inch you can see. In the darkness, you can only make out the fact that the person is a) much, much larger than you and b) hunched over like they might be sleeping. At your door, though? It doesn’t tell you much, save for the fact that you had to be very fucking careful about what might happen next. One more step brings you only a few feet away but the rustling of your clothes is enough to have the other’s head snapping up, and you whip out the knife from where it’d been hiding. “You should–”

“It’s me.”

You’d recognize that voice anywhere. Even in your haziest dreams, you could pick out that deep timbre and husky rasp that belonged to the one man that had no business occupying so much of your thoughts, especially as of late. “Will?” His name is a hushed whisper as you toss the switchblade back into your bag and quickly close the distance between you two. You’re crouching down as he’s pushing himself up, clumsily meeting halfway, your hands rising to settle on his shoulders. Not that he needed you to steady him, but you needed something to steady yourself, the sight of Will Miller sitting at your door something you’d never in a million years think would happen. “What’re you– is everything okay?” Immediately, your thoughts fly to all sorts of scenarios, a wary and assessing gaze raking over him as your palms work in a similar fashion, running up and down his arms like you might find a broken bone or a gaping wound.

It’s only when your eyes finally land on his face that you notice, in the small sliver of moonlight peeking through a break in the sky, how dark red has matted along his hairline and paired nicely with the cut slicing his brow. Icy blue eyes dance as they search yours and Will remains quiet while you continue your inspection, finding more surface wounds on his lip and jaw, one that clenches when you linger too long. “Come in,” are the only two words you can think to say, reaching past him to shove your key in and unlock your door.

Maybe it’s your imagination, or maybe there really is only just a few inches between you and Will, his heat seeping through your clothes and prickling your skin. You swear you can feel his ragged and warm breath fanning out across your nape, a subtle roll of your neck like that might alleviate some of the tension thickening in the air when you push open the door to let both of you in. “Thank you,” his hoarse voice cuts in before he immediately tacks on an apology, “I’m sorry. I can go if you–”

“No.” You interrupt him before he can spiral. “Stay.”

His reaction is physical. His shoulders sag like that one simple word washed away all of his worries, the divot between his brows smoothing as he takes one step further into your place and then another. You’ve already dropped your bags and shrugged off your sweater, shuffling to the bathroom to grab your first aid kit and wet a towel with warm water. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” Calling out to him, half expecting Will to remain planted where he stood because if there’s one thing about the stoic blonde man standing in your home, he always knew boundaries.

But when you close the medicine cabinet and turn on a heel, you nearly smack into a solid wall of carved muscle, one palm flying up to meet his firm chest to keep yourself upright. “Oh– Will–” blurting out his name while colour steals across your cheeks, “um, you can just have a seat there, then.” He takes orders so well, almost as well as he gives them. The only reason you know what that might sound like is because you’ve heard him bark them out to his brother Benny, even to Frankie and Santi. There’s no way it was anywhere near how he sounded when he’s on the field and you’re not delusional enough to think so, but it’s always been enough to strike a match in your gut. To spark that flame that burned for William Miller.

That same fire is ignited the second you lock your gaze with his pool of blues, tipping your head to the side with a cocked brow. Imploring him with your expression alone, hoping that he’d take the bait or feel comfortable enough to say something – anything – as you slowly and gently bring the edge of the warm towel up to wipe away the dried blood on his temple. “Benny got into somethin’ stupid after his fight tonight,” Will grumbled, those bright arctic irides breaking away from yours for a beat, “they didn’t like how he mouthed off too much in the ring. I told him one day it’d come to bite him in the ass, but you know Benny.” He huffs out a breath, one that tickles the sliver of skin peeking from your shirt, a lick of your lips to hide the way you noticed and zeroed in on the sensation so quickly.

“Mmhm. In one ear–” “Out the other,” he finishes with a dry chuckle.

Will barely flinches as you start to clean out his wounds, pressing damp alcohol-soaked pads to open cuts. It’s a testament to all that he’s endured out in the field, things far worse than you can ever imagine. Things far worse than what you’ve seen with your own two eyes at the hospital. You remember Frankie talking about a gunshot wound on their last ‘mission’ that Will simply patched up with a few pads of gauze, and even remembering the way Frankie told the story has your brows pinching together with distaste. “Is it bad?” Will murmurs, bringing your eyes down to his again.

“No, it’s not bad.” Were you really that easy to read, or maybe this close Will can just see right through you? “Are you feeling okay? Need a painkiller or something?”

“Probably just some water but I can wait.”

A hint of a smile teases the edges of your lips, wanting to lighten the sullen mood that’s fallen between you two. “I’ll make it quick, then.”

And you do, as much as you could. All of the open wounds were small enough that Will didn’t need any stitches; a few slips of the skin glue enough to close them, followed by pressing the thin adhesive strip bandages on top to make sure everything held. You lean in close when you get to the cut along his cheek, not wanting to mess up something that could’ve otherwise turned into a scar. Not that you thought Will would mind or didn’t have plenty of those, but you’d always been cautious about the face for any of your patients and he was no different. So focused on your work, steady fingers brushing back the small bandage, you don’t notice just how close your mouths are until you start to speak, the bristles of his beard tickling the edges of your pout. “Good as new,” you chime and without thinking, continue to say, “handsome as ever.”

If the ground could open you up and swallow you whole, you’d thank all your lucky stars and maybe even become religious. Had you really just said that? Heart hammering a bruise behind your ribs, you dare to steal a glance at Will’s face, hoping and praying and wishing you’d find something akin to indifference written over it. An indicator that he didn’t hear what you just said or maybe that he’d spare you and ignore it. Instead, you find a slick shine on his lower lip, a flirt of his tongue before he pulls it in while those thick, blonde lashes bat against his cheek. It’s silent for a few seconds, the weight of your words hanging over you like a blanket, and as soon as you open your mouth to say something, Will’s hand finds a home on your hip.

“It’s okay.” His tone stuns you, softer than you’ve ever heard it, swallowing thickly as you give him a shallow nod. “I didn’t mean to come here so late. Thank you for helping me. I was going to drive myself to the emergency, but Benny thought it’d be better to come see you directly. He all but followed me to make sure I actually didn’t go anywhere else.” All the while his thumb starts an absent sweeping motion, snagging on the hem of your shirt and sending goosebumps spreading fast on your skin.

“I’m glad you did, Will. You’d have been sitting in the waiting room for hours, you know.” Your fingers trail down until they brush over his knuckles, the same ones still holding you steady. “A heads up would’ve been nice, though, I guess.”

You’re not sure where this drop of courage is coming from. Maybe it’s the fact that Will took the lead here, the fact that his palm seems to press in more firmly where it lay. But as you search his eyes for a response, you can see the very second the moment splits into two. The moment where reality rears its ugly head and presents the staggering truth: too much. This is too much, too soon. There’s a faint quiver to Will’s lower lip, a muscle feathering in his jaw, and a few blinks is all it takes for those arctic blues to gloss over with something colder. Something you’ve seen in his eyes before, usually at the start of the night when he’s still had all his guards up and the others were around keeping a watchful and protective stance around you. Or when you’d overhear him and the guys talking about their pasts, especially their old friend. Or even the times you listened to Will’s speeches, recounting the eventful situation he found himself in at the grocery store when he all but lost his grip and sense.

“It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.” His hands drop as low as his voice, the words leaking of shame.

You won’t pretend to ever know what happened between Will and his ex, or even Will on the last mission, but it doesn’t take a genius to recognize the wheels turning behind those wary eyes. His entire face twists like he’s trying to hide the visceral need to run, and the warning signs flood the forefront of your mind as Frankie’s booming voice echoes between your ears: it’s a bad idea, he’s not ready, he’ll hurt you, you’ll hurt each other.

“It’s okay, Will.” Barely above a whisper, you say the three words you hope will settle in his bones the same time you step back to put a small gap between your aching bodies. His aching undoubtedly from the fight he’d put up for Benny and yours for different reasons entirely, emphasized by the fact that every fibre of your being is reaching out to return to his orbit.

His hands clasp together in front of him, another sharp breath slipping past those lips before he rises to his full height. It takes you too long to point out that his knuckles still have dried blood on them, but it’s clear he has no intent on staying any longer than necessary. Hiding the hurt from your face was easy enough but the way it stings the corner of your eyes is something that’s more challenging to tamp down. Twisting your body away from him and ducking your chin into your chest, you try to stride out of the bathroom, but his words have you faltering right at the threshold. “Do I owe you something for this?”

“What?” Brows bunching together into a frown, you peer at him over your shoulder. “No, Will. You don’t owe me anything.”

Is it relief you see as tension uncoils from his body? Like maybe the fact that he didn’t owe you anything meant he didn’t have to talk about this night, relive it, or see you again? Your mind is racing a mile a minute, your steps faster as you make it to your living room and leave him following behind. “Hey,” Will’s voice is strained and again, it has your resolve wavering, leaning against the back of the couch as you slowly turn to face him, “thank you. I’m not sure what else to say. I know seeing a man sitting at your door late at night probably wasn’t the most welcoming thing, and out of the blue, too. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.” You don’t mean to snap, the words falling out with a bite, but it’s too late to take them back. The only thing you can do is cast your eyes up at Will with a hint of regret flashing across your face. Because you did want him to stop saying sorry, to stop feeling bad for leaning on you when he needed help. Because you’re hit with the realization that refusing and turning him away at the door was never even an option. “It’s okay. Really, Will. I mean it. I’m happy to help you.” You admit softly, sucking in a breath to keep the momentum going, pivoting at the last second to turn the conversation into something less daunting as you murmur, “though I guess I thought the next time would’ve been under different circumstances.”

This seems to do the trick, lifting the veil of tension even for a brief moment, allowing you to catch a ghost of a smile when the lines on Will’s cheek deepen. “Mmhm, yeah. Would’ve been nicer if it were, I imagine.”

Fidgeting with your fingers yet unable to keep your attention away from him for too long, your eyes dance between your own hands and his. “Do you want me to take care of that, or…?” A little matted blood only needed a good wash, but you’d take the opportunity to tend to him if he allowed it.

Blue eyes dart down to meet where you’re looking, a quiet hum sounding in your apartment that feels like a ticking time bomb minutes before the inevitable crash. It comes far too quickly, and far too quietly, hitting you harder than you’re prepared for. “No, it’s okay. I should go.”

Whatever bubble you’d convinced yourself you were in pops, the moment once again splitting into pieces. This time, more than two, dropping around you helplessly and all you can do is agree with him as it slips like water between your fingers. “Okay.” After all, you'd have no right to ask him to stay. He’d already done that, and now Will’s decided it’s his time to leave. Palms slicking with sweat, you find yourself nervous. Find yourself wondering, not for the first time since you’ve known Will, why you were so nervous around him. It’s just Will, you remind yourself, something that’s becoming more of a mantra these days. “You drove here? You’ll be alright?”

“I’ll be alright.”

But would you be alright? It’s hard to tell because the longer Will lingers in front of you, the longer your mind strays. Is he second guessing himself? Is this all in your head? Is he going to shrug his jacket off and change his mind? Through the corner of your eye and in the dim light of your living room, you see the way his fingers twitch as it slowly rises. Inches before they can touch any part of you, it fades, your heart sinking into your stomach.

Only for it to crawl back up to lodge in your throat when the scent of Will threatens to overwhelm you as he steps in to press a kiss to the crown of your head, another muffled “next time, then,” before he’s skirting past you, opening your door, and leaving.

Leaving you with even more conflicted thoughts about Will Miller, ones that replay over and over again the entire night. Ones that blend into a flurry of emotions as you clean up and ready yourself for bed, ones that have you picking up your phone in the dark to type out a hurried text

'You should’ve stayed. Next time?'

#will miller x reader #william ironhead miller #william miller x reader #triple frontier fic #triple frontier fanfic #charlie hunnam fic #charlie hunnam fanfiction #charlie hunnam #william miller #will miller #will miller x you #william miller x you #triple frontier

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autogyne-redacted · 5 months

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Ok, so let's talk about "misandry."

(Heads up that I use terrible US foreign policy as an example of underlying gender ideology, Death to America of course)

1) if we're working within a social justice, privilege-oppression type framework, there is no systemic oppression of men as men, or trans men as trans men (beyond transphobia). Within these privilege oppression frameworks treating misandry or transandrophobia as a real thing is gonna have disastrous consequences.

2) But we need to be abandoning the identity politics social justice orthodoxy as fast as we can. Occupying a position of privilege within the discourse is dehumanizing and hellish, it has a terrible track record with transmisogyny (not a coincidence), and trying to map gendered power just by looking at identity groups means you miss a ton of what's happening within the groups, and in less straight forward ways.

3) a huge part of the gender binary is between camab ppl as (instrumental) subjects and cafab ppl as (responsive, feeling) objects. And this is fucked all around.

To pick one of the more egregious examples, US military directives make heavy use of the category of "military aged males." People outside this category are (theoretically) assumed to be non combatants while "military aged males" in ~warzones~ are basically valid targets by default. https://tinyurl.com/4skt53tx

This category also faces extra exclusion from refugee and asylum status: https://tinyurl.com/4txsmepy

We could explain this as a symptom of misogyny. That women should also be recognized as being capable of enacting violence and treated equally. This is the most straight forward application of orthodox gender theory and likely the worst.

Or we could say that there's something about the intersection of being Arab/Muslim/young/read as male that leads to a unique oppression.

But it's not like it's just this intersection. If we look at prison populations, or who gets hit by police violence, or weaponized accusations of Sexual Assault the logic is actually fairly consistent here, if a little messy to talk about.

Ppl seen as men are seen as capable of wielding power and this leads to benefits if they're seen as basically good. If they're seen as crazy, dangerous, evil, hostile, or at risk of being any of these, being seen as capable of violence makes shit way worse. Lots of intersections push you further towards being viewed as a threat.

(A pretty good bite sized model of transmisogyny is that it misgenders us as men + we get negative respect since we rejected masculinity + it frames us as crazy/dangerous).

Ppl seen as women are going to be seen as less competent, in need of guidance, control and protection by default. But it comes with certain (conditional) protections. Violence against women certainly happens, but the fact that it's a special protected category says a lot. (There's a lot to say about how much these protections are worth, who they really apply to and when they disappear and what happens then, but it's very clear that they exist and that they mean something).

4) so am I arguing for the existence of misandry? Absolutely not*. Gender is just a fucked up system of division and control all around. Privilege frameworks suggest that women are going to experience the same shit as men they share identities with + misogyny + possible extra intersectional oppression. And while this approach is sometimes helpful, I think a better default framework is that gender is just a way to create more social categories for a more complicated system of control with common threads like the subject-object binary that can play to different ways in different contexts.

The whole thing needs to be dismantled and we need to see ppl across gender categories as whole human beings with a meaningful interiority, the capacity for violence, etc. And if we recognize that gender is a complicated system of control, it follows naturally that our gender discourse shouldn't all ask men to sit down / shut up / listen.

5) the issue with transandrophobia BS is that it really wants to exceptionalize the trans masc experience. "It's fucked up that I'm being seen as suspect and capable of violence like terrible cis men, I'm obviously one of the good ones." And as they fight for the best of both worlds ("I should be respected like a man but still seen as incapable of chauvinism") it pushed naturally for trans fems to get the worst of both worlds.

6) returning to feminist "man-hating" there's a lot i oppose for being essentialist or doubling down on subject-object binary. Beyond that, a lot of it is just mean. And like, ppl can be jaded and mean sometimes. But a lot of social justice feminist dogma was ppl developing a bristly defensiveness from constant harassment and trolling. Ppl defending this as an understandable response, and then that shifting into codifying and valorizing it. And I just think it's a miserable way to live and it's miserable to be on the receiving end of it.

I think some grace and understanding for ppl being jaded and bristly is rly helpful but I'm done with valorizing it.

7) all of this said, basic feminist takes about men having lots of pressure and motivations to be chauvinist still apply. And they certainly apply to trans men. But there's a difference between having social expectations that you be a chauvinist and bowing to that pressure. And lots of men are chill and nice! Yes even cishet men!

It's easy to want to draw a hard line where you're "one of the good ones" and are categorically separated from the possibility of being sexist (ontologically incapable of violence, even?) and that goes really poorly.

(most of my beef with transandrophobia is that it's doing this + exceptionalizing trans masc experience in a way that fucks over trans fems).

But I'm not gonna ask ppl to constantly self flagellate or be hyper vigilant to make sure they don't slip up. Sin frameworks are miserable and it's not like being interpersonally shitty in a way that lines up with oppressive systems actually has consequences that much worse than just being an asshole.

So much of the more aggressive side of social justice just feels like ways to treat enemies, not your friends or ppl you want to be in community with.

I'm glad we've been moving on from it.

*editing a footnote since this has already come up a couples times / this post seems to be leaving my immediate circles: by saying misandry isn't real I mean: there isn't a systemic oppression of men as men that parallels misogyny. Gendered oppression isn't a "both sides" situation. When "egalitarian" or mra types brought "misandry" into the discourse this is what they were pushing for.

While I object to the idea that all men evenly oppress all women, patriarchy absolutely has men at the top. It's a complex and multi-directional system of power but there is an overall gendered slant to it. My framework here is still a feminist framework.

#writing #long post #not coming out of the closet #coates #transmisogny #gender theory #misandry #transandrophobia #i use men some places and ppl seen as men others none of it is super straight forward gender as it applies to trans ppl is complicated sry

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notabled-noodle · 2 years

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studying while neurodivergent big post

this post is mainly targeted at people who are at university/college and have a disorder that makes studying challenging (e.g. you experience executive dysfunction, perfectionism, concentration issues).

however. some of these tips might be useful in general, so I'm not going to stop anyone from following my advice even if they're neurotypical

preparing for class

in general: do it. prepare for your classes. it makes it more likely that you're actually going to show up (in my experience)

you don't have to read every single word of every single reading. read the introductions, the abstracts, the sub-headings, and the conclusion. you can go back and read the rest if it feels necessary

take notes while you read. they don't have to be pretty, it's just about keeping your brain engaged with what you're learning

bring all your notebooks into uni with you if possible! this way, there's nothing stopping you from procrastinating studying for one class by studying for another class (which is a fine and good thing to do)

most textbooks are available for free or for cheap in the depths of the internet or in a secondhand bookshop :)

things to keep in mind for being in class

uni is not high school. it's unlikely that a lecturer or tutor is going to get mad at you if you bring something to stim with (as long as it isn't super disruptive)

go to class! even if you haven't done the readings! going to class will give you access to class discussions and a general flow of ideas that will help you with your assignments

skipping class to do an assignment might feel like a good idea, but it's actually a very terrible idea. don't do it. it is not worth it

be honest with your classmates about what you're finding confusing. chances are that they'll either have a cool way to explain it, or they'll be just as confused (in which case, you may have just given them the courage to ask!)

you're allowed to just walk out early if you start to get overwhelmed. people won't judge you or call you out for it. it's okay to leave early

general studying tips

association is the name of the game! pair a certain song, smell, taste, or colour with each class, and be consistent with it. our memories are deeply tied to our senses, and this kind of association will help to remind your brain what class you're doing

don't do what looks pretty or sounds cool, do what works. if you like to listen to your lectures as if they're podcasts while you're doing the dishes... great! if you like to turn facts into puns... awesome! whatever works is good!

count yourself in. if you've been sitting around thinking "I need to do maths" for the past however long, trick your brain by saying out loud "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, MATHS!" and then GO

another cool brain trick is to tell yourself that you're only going to study for 10 minutes, or you're only going to read one chapter. this lowers the barrier to getting started, and will usually help you get into the flow and get at least something done

if body-doubling works for you, then do it! organise a day each week to meet up with a friend and study together! you'll both appreciate it

keep your phone in a different room from your studying gear

get one of those content keeper extensions on your computer, and get your best friend to set the password. this will protect you from the pull of Tumblr when you're meant to be reading about politics in Botswana or whatever

essays

read the question! read it again! highlight the important words in the question! read it out loud! and only THEN figure out how you're going to answer it

you can't edit a blank page. whack some words down. come back to them later. your first go does not have to be perfect

organise your notes by theme, not by which article gave you the idea. this will help you to turn notes into paragraphs with consistent arguments

cite as you go. take note of where you found each of your quotes. it is so much better this way, I promise

your essay plan only needs to make sense to you. lay out your plan however you like. again, it's better to have something on the page than nothing

make your essay writing timeline as if you know that disaster will strike the week of the due date. pretend that the due date is a week before it actually is. give yourself due dates for smaller parts of the assignment. whatever it takes to trick your brain into actually doing it ahead of time!!

use text to speech to catch grammar mistakes! hearing your essay read back out loud to you will make it easier to tell when something sounds wrong or bad or clunky

self-care advice

you won't do well on your exams if you're having several meltdowns a day, so you better be looking after your emotional health!!

eat three meals a day if you can. bring snacks with you everywhere. studying makes you hungry, and your brain needs the fuel. carrying around emergency muesli bars everywhere never hurt anyone

have a big water bottle and also carry it around with you everywhere. when you're studying, it can be easy to forget to keep your fluids up, but having your drink bottle on your desk can be a visual reminder to keep on drinking

STRETCH! stretch in between classes. stretch after taking lots of notes. you do not want to damage your arm muscles from typing/writing too much

don't abandon your hobbies during the semester if it is at all possible. don't sacrifice your weekend knitting or your early morning jog. those are the things that you enjoy, and they are the things that will keep you sane once the stress hits

sleep early, sleep often. all-nighters are not the way

this is kind of all I can think of at the moment! I hope at least something on this big long list is helpful for anyone who is studying at the moment. remember that your grades don't define you, and that you are more than just a student!

#studying tips #studying while neurodivergent #studying with adhd #studying with autism #neurodivergent uni student #studying

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static-symphony-fm · 19 days

Text

you are in love (true love)

now playing: you are in love (taylor's version)

pairing: magnus chase x fem! reader

word count: 1.9k

summary: 5 people who knew magnus was in love with you before you did + 1 sword

an: FIRST FANFIC LETS FUCKING GOOOOO this took so long to write! I love how I accidentally made it blue themed even though that's magnus's least favorite colour 😭 its ok we all know he's canonically a 1989 girly

fun fact i actually took the first picture! i shit you not I was on a road trip with my family READING MAGNUS CHASE and I look up and see THAT SIGN and i SCRAMBLED to take a picture

content/ warnings: 5+1 things, background blitzstone bcs c'mon they're basically canon, shitty writing, kissing ooo spooky, magnus being a simp, there actually isn't a whole lot of reader in this x reader fic, minor allusions to sex stuff, a lot of swearing, weird use of perspective, i was trying to go for third person limited but magnus is the one it's limited to not reader? but reader is referred to using second person? sorry if it's confusing.

1. samirah al-abbas

if someone had told magnus a year ago that in a couple month’s time, meeting for coffee weekly with one of his best friends and not getting kicked out of the overpriced coffee shop was going to be the most normal thing in his life, he wouldn’t have believed them. probably would have flipped them off, too, and stole their wallet as he walked away. but he’d like to think that he was a changed man, seeing as he was, in fact, in a hipster café in boston, trying not to make fun of all the fancy menu options. like, seriously? who orders a dragon fruit, pomegranate, and kale smoothie?

he realized he’d been thinking for too long and returned his attention to samirah, sitting across from him and discussing wedding plans for her upcoming marriage to amir as she sipped her latte. he noticed the way her eyes seemed to get brighter, and her entire body language conveyed how excited she was as she talked about him. magnus had a fleeting thought about how good it must feel to love someone so unconditionally like that, and have them love you back just as much.

as if reading his mind, samirah finished her sentence and studied him, tilting her head as she seemed lost in thought, peering at him like he was a calculus problem she couldn’t quite figure out.

after a few seconds, magnus broke the silence.

“alright, it’s getting weird. why’re you looking at me like that?”

samirah snapped out of it, focusing on what he was saying.

“nothing, just… do you think you’ll ever get married?”

jeez, that was a loaded question. magnus narrowly avoided choking on his black coffee, swallowing and burning his throat before answering.

“sam, i’m dead.”

“so? people get married in valhalla all the time. i have been to a very disproportionate amount of weddings in the two years i worked there.”

“yeah? how many of those end in divorce?”

samirah took a long drink of her coffee, swallowing it slowly as she responded.

“forever is a very long time, and no relationship is perfect, but wouldn’t it be better to have someone to spend that time with?”

“…i guess.” magnus accepted, lost in thought. truthfully, samirah was right, like always. if circumstances were different, if he hadn’t died at sixteen, he could imagine himself getting married. settling down. living in a cabin in the forest with two kids.

a thought came into his mind, entirely of its own accord, of doing all of that with you. your laugh, your soft hair, the way your lips curled up and your eyes widened when you smile. you’d probably be a great mom.

whoa, what the hell? he should definitely not be thinking about getting married to his friend, what the fuck? that is not normal.

he pushed the weird thought out of his mind as best he could, gulping his coffee and focusing on the burning in his throat and not what he was just thinking. samirah had gone back to talking about amir, and magnus was not going to think about marrying you any longer.

2. alex fierro

after nearly getting his head cut off by alex’s garrote for the third time that day, magnus needed a break. alex had decided that magnus needed to learn to fight without the help of jack, and it wasn't going too well for him. he collapsed on the bench next to alex, chugging half a bottle of water before even taking a breath. alex rolled her eyes.

“it’s not that hard, you just aren’t fast enough.”

magnus managed to control himself and not say a snarky comment back, but it was a close call. instead, he ignored her, staring straight ahead and not engaging. unfortunately, you were in his direct line of sight, sparring with mallory only a few metres away. alex picked up on this quickly, nudging his side.

“you like watching y/n fight, huh?” she teased, smirking. damn, why did she have to be so perceptive?

“what? no. shut up.” magnus replied quickly, trying to hide his blush. “i mean… she’s a good fighter. not like i like her or anything like that.”

“mhm. suuuure you don’t.” alex replied, definitely not believing him. fuck.

“i’m telling the truth!” magnus protested. god, how was arguing with alex harder than physically fighting her?

“yeah. did you see her necklace today? pretty, right?”

“she’s not even wearing a neck- fuck.” magnus said instantly, before catching himself.

“go to hell.” he swore, glaring at alex, who was grinning at him in a way that reminded him a little too much of her mother.

“you first.”

3 + 4. blitzen & hearthstone

“magnus? magnus?”

a pale hand reached in front of magnus face, waving and then snapping its fingers, bringing him back to reality. he blinked and looked around at hearth and blitz, sitting across from him in the dining room of the chase space. hearth took his hand back to sign finally, raising his eyebrows sarcastically.

“your head’s way up in the clouds, kid.” blitz remarked, drumming his short, well manicured fingernails on the table, his silver engagement ring glinting. he was right. magnus definitely was pretty out of it lately.

probably thinking about y/n, hearth signed. jeez, why did every conversation he had have to be about you? and no, he most certainly was not thinking about you and your pretty eyes and your delicate hands and the way your ass looked in those jeans you were wearing yesterday… jesus fucking christ, he needed to stop.

he buried his face in his hands and groaned loudly, then raised his head back up so hearth could read his lips, hoping that his blush wasn’t as visible as it felt.

“i am not thinking about her.” he lied through his teeth.

“there’s nothing wrong with having a crush, you know.”

ugh, why did they have to act so much like his dads?

“i don’t have a crush!”

“kid, you’re a terrible liar. everyone can see the way you stare at that girl. now remember, if you’re doing anything intimate, you gotta use protection…”

that’s it. magnus couldn’t stand up from the table fast enough

“nope! this conversation is ending right now. good talk!”

5. annabeth chase

magnus and annabeth had been walking around new york for the past three hours, trying to make up for the ten years spent apart. annabeth had shown him her favorite library, and pointed out a bunch of cool architecture in nearby buildings, with a promise to show him and his friends camp half-blood in the summer.

they were currently taking a break, stopping for lunch at a falafel place that wasn’t quite as good as fadlan’s, but it was still falafel. magnus was enjoying listening to annabeth talk about her architecture projects– she was taking online classes to prepare for the higher level of new rome university’s program.

magnus loved listening to her talk about things he didn’t understand. as a child he’d always thought she was a genius, the way she always solved puzzles and math problems easily. ten years later, that theory still held up, hearing her go on about a bunch of terms he didn’t understand.

“sorry, i’m probably boring you to tears. you wanna talk about something else?”

annabeth offered.

“no, it’s fine… i really don’t have a lot going on.” magnus replied, smiling politely.

“come on. there’s gotta be something interesting.” an idea seemed to come to annabeth.

“you have a crush on anybody?”

magnus swallowed.

“no.”

but he was too slow. those steel gray eyes that matched his own were locked on him like a hawk, or maybe an owl.

“yes, you do. come on. spill!”

magnus stayed silent. he was not telling his cousin about his crushes, but those metallic eyes stayed locked on him. he eventually gave up. annabeth could be scary when she wanted to be.

“fine. fine. her name’s y/n…”

+1. jack

it was movie night at the chase space. was magnus ever gonna stop calling it that? no. it was cool. shut up. the credits were rolling on some disney movie that alex had insisted on, and everyone else was slowly but surely making their way to their rooms, yawning as they said their good nights. you had been sitting next to magnus on the couch the whole time, and suffice it to say that he had had some trouble concentrating on the film.

it was just you and him, you in your nirvana t-shirt and gray sweat shorts, and in that moment, he decided to tell you.

you got up to leave, waving at him, and in a feat of bravery so incredible it would be studied by historians for centuries to come, magnus managed to work up the nerve to speak up.

“hey, uh, can i talk to you for a sec?”

“sure? what’s up?” you asked as you sat back down.

jesus, what had he gotten himself into? it’s ok, magnus, you got this. you beat loki in a flyting. you can talk to a pretty girl.

“uh, i was just thinking… i just…” off to a great start, aren’t we? fuck off, voice in his head. he can do this. he took a deep breath.

“i really like you. you're gorgeous and funny and so insanely smart. i’m an atheist but i’m praying to god you feel the same way. will you be my girlfriend?”

you bit your lip, breaking eye contact as you looked off into the distance. fuck. you were gonna say no and then he was never gonna be able to talk to you again and he was gonna have to change his name and move to canada…

“can i kiss you?”

what.

there were a million things magnus expected you to say, but that was none of them. he managed to stutter out a simple “please…” and then you leaned forward and your lips were on his and magnus chase died.

this felt more like the end of his life than being knocked off a burning bridge and drowning did. his heart was beating a million times a second, and he seemed to have forgotten how breathing worked. your lips were softer than anything he’d ever felt before.

he managed to reciprocate a little, mostly acting on instinct, and all he could think about was how astronomically better this was than jackie molotov in the seventh grade.

what was he supposed to do with his hands? he was pretty sure that keeping them at his side was the wrong answer, so he moved one to your waist and the other one to the back of your neck, tangling it gently in your soft hair as his lips moved against yours.

gods, he could have stayed like that until ragnarök, but his stupid sword had to ruin the moment. jack started buzzing on his neck sleepily, seeming to have been woken up ungraciously. he hoped that you couldn’t feel it, but that was pretty unlikely, considering how close you were to him. jeez, he was blushing more and more every time he thought about that.

eventually, you pulled away, smiling a little.

“good night, magnus.”

he nodded, unable to form words, and managed to stand up and walk back to his room, wide eyed, operating on autopilot. he walked into his room and immediately collapsed backwards onto the bed, staring at the ceiling without blinking, completely still. not a thought passed through his mind for at least ten minutes, till he finally was able to reach up and pull jack’s pendant off of his necklace.

“dude, what happened to blades before babes!?!”

#magnus chase x reader #d.j. robin's corner! 💐🎧🎙📻#magnus chase #percy jackson #magnus chase and the gods of asgard #percy jackson x reader

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discluded · 1 year

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I just realized that the porsche in the book was probably like kinn’s type? Cos they initially imagined a korean actor to play it right.. so apo being called to cast is really sus lol

I have never read KPTN and according to people who have, it's better for my brain that I haven't 😂

According to Reliable Sources, apparently Porsche wasn't Kinn's Type™ because Kinn's type is pretty and novel!Porsche wasn't pretty. But Apo is very pretty so obviously that wouldn't work 😁

Okay since I have a minute now:

KinnPorsche Casting: The Lore

First posting (one version) of the casting story for everyone to set the stage. Thanks to @lorddio for helping me find this one again and MileApo Safe Place for translating as always. it's got a very special part that needs highlight 😉

But setting the record straight(ha!) about the basics:

Mile was Kinn's face model, and purportedly many elements of Kinn were based off of Mile's public image (very importantly: wealthy heir to an important Thai family)

In the variations of posts about Mile is Kinn lore I've seen, this was the specific photo that inspired Daemi's Kinn. He reposted it around the same time his casting for KPTS was announced (this was reposted Dec 2020) but if I remember correctly from scrolling back in his feed, it was taken when he was 24-25 years old.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by MP 15.15 (@milephakphum)

instagram

As anon mentioned, and Apo mentioned in the clip above, Daemi chose a Korean actor as the face cast for Porsche.

However, he was contacted and specifically invited to audition for the role of Porsche. According to Apo, he didn't even read for any other characters

Those are the basic public facts we can agree on. But of course there's more going on behind the scenes! There's actually a lot going on here so I'm going to break it down for each actor, starting with Mile because that might set the ground for some of what happened with Apo.

Admittedly some of this is my opinion or interpretation, so take it with a grain of salt and use your own judgment! Again, the above facts are what is probably known and agreed upon.

Casting dates (a clarification)

First of all, there's a couple of confusing things going on with the dates, which I actually didn't highlight in the last post about it, but was exposed by the Facebook posts.

The first Facebook post dated October 1, 2020 talks about how the audition process has started and the first round will go on to October 3. The second post is from October 4 and then lists the dates of the auditions for October 10.

Now, October 10, the "official" audition date is (1) The day Mile and Apo were both fast tracked through auditions and (2) met again. I don't think anyone on the English side of fandom has noticed this or at least publicly talked about this discrepancy so I'm bringing you hot news (that I've been sitting on and not sharing lol)

youtube

It is worth pointing out that this is supposedly the photo below is of their first kiss from the auditions, and they're both wearing different clothes, so. I'm guessing the fast tracking was actually for the first round of auditions between Oct 1-3, and then the kiss was Oct 10.

Anyway, they sat next to each other and Apo talked to Mile first, regardless of if it was the same day (likely not, in my opinion)

There's also a couple of different photos of them together at audition.

Notably, in the first they're sat in uh, waiting area chairs. There's a different clip of Apo sitting behind Bible, so I'm guessing this is before Apo talked to Mile and he had noticed Mile while sitting in this area and went to talk to him.

The moved together down the line to the audition room, I think?

where Sprite interviewed them:

youtube

Also based on this last photo they switched sitting order at some point while waiting to audition

Mile's casting

So aside from the fact Mile visibly went to auditions, there is a rumor with some basis that Mile was pre-cast as Kinn. Probably soft confirmed by Mile himself.

I'm just going to close the loop on this discrepancy too: I think Mile was an invited audition/casting in the same way Ke Huy Quan was invited to audition for for Waymond Wang. Mile did audition. He was likely get the role because he was so preferentially invited by the authors and was the basis for the character.

Clearly, Ke Huy Quan won an Oscar and Mile won a GQ breakout actor award, so in invited casting, even for seemingly "unimportant" roles, it doesn't speak to an actor deserving or not deserving the role based on of acting skills. Mile also was cast as the main character Bohn in My Engineer in 2017 before turning it down; he clearly has some acting chops and can win lead roles.

In academia, often times internal postings will open for tenure track positions with a preferred candidate in mind; but due to rules these postings are made public and sometimes an outside candidate will blow the preferred candidate out of the water in terms of quality and get hired instead.

Which is to say there could have been another actor that ended up impressing more in auditions as Kinn even with Mile being preferred, or another actor pair that seemed more suited for Kinn and Porsche.

The other thing auditions do is allow for actors to screen test chemistry. So finally, Mile actually going through the casting process allows him to screen test a for a pairing partner. Which brings us to...

Pre-cast Preferred casting rumor credibility: 10/10

Apo's Casting

Play Mastermind.mp3 by Taylor Swift

Once Twice upon a time, the planets and the fates And all the stars aligned You and I ended up in the same room At the same time

Okay if you didn't catch it on the first watch...

Mile, what the heck is that expression. 😂😂😂

Again, Apo was invited to go to casting specifically for Porsche and only for Porsche. Apo has never acted in a BL before going to audition for KPTS, so the question begged who invited him and why?

First of all, Mile has made it clear that he was a fan of Apo's acting work and followed his career after they met in the gym. He's also made it clear he had the world's biggest crush on Apo. Look how excited he was to talk about working with Apo and how handsome he thinks Apo is in January 2021 (like 3 months after they met again!)

If Mile was the preferential Kinn cast and he didn't have an pairing partner, it would make sense to ask him if there were any actors he thought he might work well with.

I'm not entirely convinced Mile engineered for Apo to get cast or anything. Apo's acting career and skills stand on their own and I think their insane screen chemistry speaks volumes about why they were cast. But as for who made the request to Apo's manager ... hm 😏 Maybe we'll find out one day.

Mile Phakphum - Mastermind.mp3 rumor credibility: 6/10

#mile phakphum #apo nattawin #mileapo #kinnporsche #kpts #kinnporsche lore #kinnporsche bts #kinnporsche meta #filmania #old but gold

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withered--s0uls · 8 days

Text

Oh look it's another GD crossover

Ghost Drone AU - @electrozeistyking

You already saw all this art but shhh HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

This originally started out with me just wanting to draw Beanie interacting with the Intertwined Codes Kids but then I added some extra stuff lol.

If you're a reader of Intertwined Codes, this kinda sorta spoils future stuff bc only the twins have been mentioned in the Draft/Teaser fic but oh well. You have been warned.

IC!Uzi wouldn't like actually meet GD!N bc they'd kinda decide that "hey, let's not have the widowed man see an alternate version of his wife that actually got live." simply out of respect kinda?? So she would stick around at home with the kids whilst IC!N goes out to look for Beanies Dad after their kids drag her to them lmao.

So yeah she doesn't necessarily know the extent of the mans depression, the kids just mentioned there only being a dad so she just specifically asks about GD!N in this doodle

IC!N would quickly pick up on GD!N not being completely okay, even without being told any details. So he probably would end up sitting him down to talk on their way back to the IC!Doorman families place, wanting to help if he can in any way. (He runs a Daycare and tries to also be a support to any parent that needs it, so I feel he out of habit would lean into trying to do that with GD!N)

More/The kids under the Cut otherwise the post looks so long rip

I will go over each of these one by one (can'tdo close ups bc 10 image limit, I'll reblog this in a second with the close ups.)

Left are the Code-Related Nuzi kids, right are the adopted ones.

Code related kids

Zagi:

Not much to say, I'm still working out their personality - they're maybe 2-3 years older than Beanie, so they aren't too far apart in age. :)

Orita:

She's the sibling who started the trend of putting stickers on her siblings, so she DEFINITELY would do the same with Beanie.

She also probably originally was going to show her how to build a weapon, but her parents promptly stopped that lmao .

She would think it's really cool that Beanie has a custom core icon & in general is completely customized from the start! She herself was originally put into a regular worker body (just with the tail and headband being custom made by her mom), she had to build the DD forearms herself. She also has a sticker of the DD icon on her core, covering the WD icon :3

Rexim:

At this point he has enough siblings to be past the "ew a little kid" phase, so luckily Beanie gets spared that. His main camera is damaged, he only really uses his headband optics to look around, so he would kinda just look as if he's staring past her a lot. But bc of the obvious cracks in his visor I feel she would pick up on the fact he's not actually ignoring her.

Also he definitely would just play music to her, because IC!Uzi kinda always has music on whilst working in her workspace he kinda picked up some of her taste in music (Hence he's playing the same song that Uzi is shown to have been listening to in Ep7)

Raven:

First up THANK YOU Zeisty for helping me brainstorm silly stuff for them. They're a little ball of chaos now and I love them.

Anyways.

They would join Orita in bedazzling Beanie, and then they'd start talking about bird facts and also try to get Beanie to talk about her interests.

(Their height difference isnt 100% accurate bc halfway through drawing this I changed the IC timeline, making Raven about the same age as Zagi instead of them being a teen, so I kinda had to manually try and semi-fit their heights lol)

Adopted Kids

Ray:

Nothing to say. He's a baby. Tho whilst I was outlining this one I had to giggle because of how big he is in Beanies hands. She's so tiny 😭💕 /affectionate

Annika:

Oh boy. Ann.

Annika is the eldest kid & was adopted a while before Zagi was coded / whilst the parents were organizing the code copies for Zagi

She does NOT know how to talk to other kids. Never did. It made her stick out at the orphanage wing because she just avoided everyone. And it is very chaotic when Olivia and Ray first show up, because Ann's only idea of talking to other Drones is "well you got to be relatable" so she brings up the siblings dead parents bc like, her code parents are dead too. Both pairs dying to DDs. So yeah she probably would be the first, if not only one, in the whole household to just bring up GD!Uzi. She would do it like it's nothing either.

IC!Uzi would promptly get her to stop and sit her down having a conversation about "what did N and I say about trying to connect on that topic?"

Like IC!Uzi would actually feel really bad about it despite Beanie not knowing her mom. Bc she herself obviously didn't remember IC!Nori growing up but still didn't like the topic.

Olivia:

Olivia, as I said, was greeted with the topic of dead parents by Annika as well. So she probably would kinda interfere when IC!Uzi goes to sit Ann down to talk.

She would feel the need to apologize for the older girls behavior (which Ann would apologize for herself later too ofc) and would try to get Beanie to go play something together whilst IC!Uzi sorts that whole situation out.

She's also the closest to Beanies age probably, just was forced to mature bc of what happened to her parents, despite being taken in by Nuzi shortly after. She still obviously acts like a kid tho when comfortable, so I feel she would kinda ease up around Beanie and actually act more like a 4-5 year old around her.

Bonus? Bonus!

Needless to say Beanie would return home covered in stickers & hairpins (Orita & Raven have more than enough of those, they'd just let Beanie keep some)

RIP GD!N having to get her out of those stickers once they're back home

Also, for the "*humming*" variation of the picture I blame @k1k0oftheworld. Kiko was in vc with me when I was talking about how Beanie would be covered in stickers when she gets home, and saw the doodles as well.

He proposed the following scenario after seeing Rexim show Beanie IC!Uzis playlist:

Beanie humming dead batteries song & GD!N having a breakdown bc it reminds him of GD!Uzi

I do not take accountability for this, I was going to spare the poor widowed man.

(I scrapped the idea of him not knowing ab the IC!Doorman family and him getting a mini heart attack when Beanie goes "I met Mom today" in favor of him and IC!N meeting & talking - I WANTED TO SPARE HIS POOR HEART)

@k1k0oftheworld you owe him money for a therapy session now /silly

Anyways that's it, I'll put the close ups in the reblog like I said 👍

#murder drones #serial designation n #md #uzi doorman #ghost drone au #Intertwined codes #beanie doorman #Nuzi ship kids #like a lot of them #I'm tagging all of my kids in the reblog i dont have the patience rn #au crossover #gd x ic #ghost drone x intertwined codes #ElectroZeistyKing #my art #Souls Art

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weepingflowerbonkcop · 3 months

Text

I'm trying to finish these headcannons before moving on. I'd be more than happy to answer any questions about the headcannons. Enjoy reading!

Warnings: Wild being Wild, nothing else.

What the Chain thinks about a Modern! Reader using slang/meme references:

Part 2

Sky

• Sky has some basic education for Skyloft. I'd say he finished high school standards for them, but elementary in our standards. He's still pretty smart but just doesn't show it as much as Four does.

• Sky didn't know what to think of when he first heard modern slang.

• He's one of those people that pretend like they know what you're talking about. Reader would be talking casually and Sky would nod his head, listening intently even if he really doesn't understand.

• He likes it when reader goes to talk to him, but sometimes he'd like subtitles to exist.

• He goes to Four and Wind whenever he doesn't understand a word, hoping that they'd be able to give him some indication/translation of it.

• Memes on the other hand - he's actually pretty good at understanding them. He might not find all of them funny but he does manage to catch what they're about.

• He's that person that hears a joke and goes into a full detailed interrogation of the joke. Something like, "Yeah nah, the bro took his cuzy out to the pub. After he met this nice sheela and got a nice rootin' only to find out the day after it was no sheela." Him not knowing what's going on just goes, "So, you've told me before that a 'she - lah' is a girl, yes? And you've also said a 'bro' is a shorter term for brother. So, what does 'cuzy' mean and what does the root have to do with the story?"

• After you do a break down of the slang he just lights up with a 'ooh' and does a little giggle to himself.

• It's cute but ruins a good story when you have to go into another full explanation of said story.

• He's also an 8/10 at least he'll laugh at memes even if he doesn't find them funny.

Wild

• Thinking about him losing his memories some of his schooling had also been lost since his resurrection.

• I believe Wild is the most adaptable of the Heroes. He had to be adaptable out in the wild in order to survive.

• So, he'd be the quickest - next to Wind - to catch Modern! Reader's slang.

• He would also interpret it into his own day to day talking. His Hyrule is more flexible in my opinion to different ways and languages than other Hyrules.

• Him along with Wind and Four are your main translators to the others. So, when someone is in doubt they run to Wild to ask about a certain word or abbreviation then run back to reader and continue the conversation.

• However, Wild does radiate chaotic energy and sometimes whenever the others try to learn, he'd casually tell them the complete opposite of what it means for shits and giggles. An example, "Wild, what does 'Yo - lo' mean?" "You only lick once." The person would thank him and run back to you, "Indeed only one lick." "What the -"

• This annoys the living daylights out of Twilight, Time, Warriors, First, Calamity - basically all the serious Links.

• Wild appreciates memes from Modern! Reader's world. In fact he sometimes tries to recreate them with readers guidance.

• Other times he would try and create an entirely new genre of meme little does he know he already is with some of his really cursed selfies on his Sheikah Slate.

• Overall 10/10 best boy cause he gets it and screws with people that don't.

Hyrule

• In my honest opinion I don't think this boy had any type of schooling. Most of the things he knows comes from pure experience. He might've been taught more about magic, curses and things more related to the fae since he was raised by them, but no school system like ours.

• Hyrule much like Twilight thought it was just an accent rather than the modern day and age talk when he first heard it.

• Someone had to sit him down though to tell him it's not.

• Hyrule learns from Wild about the terms and their meanings as Wild starts using them more frequently in his own speech. So, Hyrule starts picking up that habit as well and sooner or later you got two four in actuality people talking like anyone from your world!

• I believe he would purposefully go to Legend and start telling him some of the slang that he's learned through either you or some of the others. It's similar to a kid running up to their parent to show them a picture that they drew. Legend actually appreciates this and finds it cute but wouldn't admit it.

• He does surprisingly catch on to memes quick.

• His brain works in mysterious ways as well so he'd instantly understand Modern! Reader's references.

• He does go and have little back and forths with Wind when referencing memes that reader uses the most. It's turns into a challenge between Hyrule, Wild, Wind and Four of who is right with Modern! Reader as the referee.

• He genuinely believes its interesting to hear how different the people in Modern! Reader's world talk in comparison to any of their Hyrules.

• Overall he's an 8/10.

#linked universe #linked universe x reader #linkeduniverse #modern au #linked universe sky #linked universe wild #linked universe hyrule #isekai

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yujeong · 6 months

Text

Hello. I'm back with my Macau bullshit. This time: the difference between his relationship with Pete and his relationship with Porsche (because if I don't scream about Pete and Porsche and the parallels between them, I can't function as a human being apparently.) Ok so, first things first. I am aware that I may be comparing apples and oranges here. Besides the fact that they're both bodyguards of the main family and very close to Kinn, there's not really anything else tying them together in regards to their relationship with Macau. But here's the thing. That's what I care about. What circumstances make Macau act like the devilish little gremlin that he is VS the compliant and polite son of the minor family. And my boys are perfect for the job. (The post will be split into 2 parts because I guess I had a LOT to say about Porsche and Macau so, Pete and Macau will be explored in another one)

Ok. I think I speak for all of us when I say that we did NOT get enough Macau in the show. He had like, what, 5 scenes total? HOWEVER, the scenes we got were spectacular for a gazillion reasons but I'll choose to focus on a specific aspect of them for this post: Most, if not all of his scenes, were either from Porsche's or Pete's POV. And that's giving us a lot. Let's start with Porsche. He - and the audience, remember, most of this show is through Porsche's POV so that's important - meets Macau like he actually is; a typical teenager. He's moody, rude and doesn't want to deal with Porsche's bullshit. (Although, one could argue he was extra antsy because they were at the main family's house, which I choose to believe due to how the minor family is treated by their relatives.) Their first scene, accompanied by the scene in which he goes to Gun and calls Porsche out in front of everyone is Macau being sincere. It actually is him, and it's tragic as well as amazing how he's never himself again in front of Porsche for the rest of the show. Because the next time we see Macau with Porsche, it's in ep 7, when Vegas has his plans with Porsche to execute and Macau has to follow along. BUT, Porsche gets to have a glimpse of the real Macau in this exchange:

(Vegas' smile is KILLING me OMG, he loves his brother SO MUCH, I'M CHEWING GLASS AS WE SPEAK-) Porsche never gets to see Macau's actual face in this (maybe a glimpse from above but with difficulty) but his voice betrays his happiness at seeing his brother and from the answer he gives. Aaaall of that fades away when the bodyguards sit down. Macau turns quiet and polite, keeping appearances because they have guests, and we have him welcoming all of them, and Porsche, like this:

The show knows we the audience - and Porsche - remember what has happened between the two, so Macau saying "Hello" to Porsche carries significance here. GOD, I wish I could make gifs because, after that, after the camera stops focusing on Macau's face, you get him blurred in the background and the boy is SO uncomfortable by what's happening. His eyes dart left and right, mostly at Pete and Arm's direction - he fucking HEARS Arm's comment about "no surprise that the heirs of this family turn out like this" and he SIGHS and looks downward and he STARES at Vegas' direction when he spews his bullshit about how the minor family treats their bodyguards. My boy is PRESENT in the discussion and he hates every second of it. Isn't it spectacular then, how the next scene between him and Porsche, is the one in which Macau apologizes? I love the fact that he calls him Phi. It's so good, because in my eyes Porsche doesn't even deserve it. He never apologized for what he did to Macau. He did, to Vegas, but not to Macau himself. So, the respect Macau shows to him is so fake I could cry from laughter.

He finds him trying to get on Vegas' motorcycle and touches him and urges him to ride it. "I know you like motorcycles," he says, like that's a normal thing to know and not something Vegas told him to say because VEGAS is the one who knows.

I'm dying over here, truly. Macau is amazing and it hurts as much as it's funny, because Macau must be feeling so bad here imo. He's not an idiot, he knows Porsche was in the wrong and Vegas knows as well because LOOK AT HIS FUCKING FACE AS MACAU SAID THE THING:

This isn't a strict face, one that's like "that fucking kid, finally he learned how to apologize". This is a "the things I do for my plans to work" kind of face. Vegas used Macau here. And I'm convinced that he hated every second of witnessing this scene in front of him.

Also, I love how Macau is touchy with Porsche. Macau does show affection through touch, just like his brother does. It's evident by the hospital scene with Pete and the scene above with Vegas when they talked + the scene in ep 2, in which he stretched his arm in Vegas' direction. But, just like Vegas, he uses that in his advantage to get what he wants here. What Vegas wants from him to get, which is, Porsche's trust. And, if any audience member actually believed for even a second that Macau was sincere here, then comes this to show them that NOPE, the boy doesn't believe his words in the slightest:

It's easier to see in motion but Macau's shy grin as he sees Vegas in front of him, shows you everything you need to know about the sincerity of his words. And even if THAT wasn't enough, you have Vegas confirming your suspicions with his words:

Oh, Vegas, you scheming bastard. You wanted your plan to work so badly, you used even Macau for it. I wonder if that kept you up at night. This whole scene was so...Vegas coded? It felt like Macau adapted Vegas' methods of seduction with Porsche here, didn't it? Actual Macau would never do any of that and it's incredible how Porsche only saw that version of Macau after ep 2. It makes you wonder; what did Porsche see and hear from Macau during that one-month period before the show finale, a period of time in which Vegas was fighting for his life + Porsche had just gained Vegas' right as the heir of the minor family? How was Macau's behavior then? I really wish we got to know, because Macau showing his true self to Porsche again due to circumstance is very appealing to me. Porsche&Macau in general is a relationship dynamic I haven't seen people talk about at all, which is strange due to their canonical scenes. Oh well. Another excuse to write essay long posts on Tumblr, I guess.

#Damn I thought I could contain all my thoughts about these wonderful babies in one post but I guess not #I keep screaming about Pete&Macau but Porsche&Macau is also very interesting to me #Especially in juxtaposition with Pete&Macau #That boy and his adventures with the main family bodyguards #What a concept truly #kinnporche the series #macau theerapanyakul #porsche kittisawasd #pete phongsakorn saengtham #vegas theerapanyakul #kinnporsche meta

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bonefall · 6 months

Note

If you flip the spade upside down and put it on Gorseclaw’s neck, it could kind of look like a tie

Hello anon with the most convenient ask in my inbox, you have been selected to receive a FLOOD OF SKETCHES

I had only drawn Gorseclaw and Ripplestar before, and I'm about to do a redesign of Larkstripe so that she has the "hearts" motif that her son gets. I did a bunch of sketches just to try and figure stuff out so, messy post

Glossary:

Ripplestar

Gorseclaw and Spottedpelt

Larkstripe

Birdflight, Marshscar

After I post this I'm gonna jump back into Clip to play with Cloudstar next

RIPPLESTAR

[ID: A sketch of BB!Ripplestar. The text points out his major features and reads, "Heterochromia: Amber + Brown." Smooth scruff, with an arrow that points out the shape. Ginger on 1 side. Deer-eared. 3 layers with an arrow that points out the three stacks of fur on his chest. Wooly, kinda like a half-shorn sheep.]

I've actually drawn Ripplestar a lot in the margins of my notes and such, so this design's pretty solid.

I change the side the hearts are on, plus the number of hearts, literally every single time I've ever drawn him lmao. It dozen madder.

What DOES matter though is that there's a HEART over his BRIGHTER eye. I use it as a bit of a visual metaphor, if he's trying to size you up or negotiate with you, he keeps you in the bright eye. When he trusts you or becomes comfortable with you in some way, he turns the brown eye on you.

So in most scenes where he's not talking to family I imagine he's not fully looking at his conversational partner. Especially on the Highrock as leader of ShadowClan, because the layout makes the leaders sit side-by-side. Might as well play with that simple logistic fact, y'know?

He does this because I imagine this marking kind of intimidates people. It's like the ginger of his eye socket has set his iris ablaze with fire, while the other is as cold as rain-soaked peat.

The ear on the "colorful" side is also orange. All of his orange is on one side, except for his tail-tip.

He's actually distantly related to Nightcloud-- his Honor Sire (who was known but not involved) went on to have a mate. So he's the half-brother of one of her ancestors, and Nightcloud has inherited this thick, wooly fur texture.

Again, I draw him a lot so this was the easiest one. I didn't have to decide anything besides that I made his nose into a cute lil carebear heart.

The drawing I did for this synopsis of Ripplestar's Rot was actually the first time I drew him, for comparison! It's fun to see what's been streamlined.

GORSECLAW AND SPOTTEDPELT

FIRST sketches didn't feel right.

[ID: BB!Gorseclaw and BB!Spottedpelt. They have long, curly tails, long claws, and bell-shaped heads. Gorseclaw has a sharp 'tie' on his chest, and Spottedpelt has a heart]

I feel like Gorseclaw's spades look too much like diamonds in this one, but I was really going for a tie.

I've been giving him those sideburns for months, so, they don't really fit the "shape theory" but I'm having a hard time removing them lmao.

And this is the first time I drew Spots which is a shame. I love a bad bitch.

If you look at my designs, you can notice that I have a few traits that cats from each Clan "tend" to have. They're all pretty genetically similar actually and there's a lot of crossings between the groups, secret or otherwise, but some traits just get selected for more than others, and StarClan is likely to toss them into kits. SkyClan has saggy skin (like a bear) and really bendy tails.

Don't think it's come through well here, though. In future drafts I'm going to try and make them saggier.

(Why? It actually helps them against insect stings and impact damage, like falling from trees and being hit by branches)

Then I went on to draft 2,

[ID: Second draft of the characters above. Spottedpelt is fatter, with "dapples" on her back which are actually spades, and a distinctive spade-shaped mask. The ears of both siblings are now spade-shaped, and Gorseclaw's tie is different, along with Spottedpelt's heart with is now more of a medal.]

I like Spottedpelt a LOT more in this draft. That's probably going to be close to the final design I do, I'm really vibing with the dapple-spades.

I DON'T like Gorseclaw in this one though, the face shape reminds me waaay too much of Dustpelt's familial face-plate. Absolutely going to revise that, probably making it more mask-like akin to Spots'.

Also very proud of myself for the spade-shaped ears.

Hate Gorse's tie here though, that's not a tie that is a stinkhorn mushroom.

But Spots' medal is excellent. Absolutely keeping that. She is a distinguished little war crime kitty

Still not fat and saggy enough. Coming back to this. I need to learn how to draw a primordial pouch.

LARKSTRIPE

I'm trying to redesign her and I'm losing :/

[ID: BB!Larkstripe. She's a very plain cat with a string of hearts from her eye down to her leg, with a heart-shaped nose, cutie marks, and a heart-shaped tail tip]

This was the FIRST first draft of the redesign and that heart chain is underwhelming.

It felt like too much of a downgrade from the diamond-pattern Larkstripe I did, and I'm worried that maybe it's because diamonds just look so much nicer in a "chain"

I feel like I see too many perfect hearts on chests in WC designs, so when I do them, I try to do something weird with them like what I did to Heartstar

So I turned hers into a little fur tuft splash. I like the idea tbh, I might repurpose it for another design.

[ID: A version of the above sketch with bigger hearts on the chain and a single heart on the flank, followed by another sketch attempting to make the stripe more "blobbish"]

I'm beginning to think that maybe I don't like the sketches because Larkstripe is sad :( I like when I can draw her angry, before the strikebreaking broke her

And unfortunately she is the absolute most tragic character in BB. They took the fight out of her. I figure it would be symbolically fitting for the heart shape on her chest to "break" after Dalestar's decree.

For those asking questions, no, she never joins Skypelt. She is convinced she did the wrong thing and ended up unleashing an era of suffering on the Clans by having Ripplestar follow in her footsteps, though she had no control over him.

She's a character who would offer her life as an example during trials involving the Cleric's Vow, especially since I've gutted Moth Flight in BB. She argues about how important it is to avoid birthing cats who will claim their conquest is holy in the name of their parents.

She would also have something to say to Mudfur, admonishing him for breaking his Vow so openly, even saying that he's responsible for Leopardstar and all of her choices.

Basically, Larkstripe is beaten. She is a very tired, shameful spirit who repeats exactly what Silverpelt told her, during her own trial. She's so grateful to be here that she acts with devotion towards it.

Hurt people hurt people and all

But anyway, I still feel like it's a bit of a downgrade from the older design for Larkstripe, so I'm probably going to keep playing with it.

BIRDFLIGHT AND MARSHSCAR

[ID: BB!Birdflight. She's a tabby with the spades motif, long bases stretching up into hears on her shoulder, side, and flank.]

I want her to look old and tired. She's got that Leafpoolyness about her.

She's technically the very first member of the Tigerkin family, and has those characteristic long-claws.

I imagine in Clanmew her name is actually Yassgafba, "Raptor preparing to take flight." I have this really sad mental image of a majestic hawk that keeps spreading its wings, as if to take off and fly away, but never does.

Fitting, because she waited her whole life for Cloudstar to send word they'd found a new home, to come and fetch her and their children, but never did.

While I'm at the trivia, yes, Ripplestar and her were very close. Larkstripe argues in StarClan that Ripplestar started his war because of her, but it's not true. It was Birdflight who made him believe that Cloudstar would never abandon his family; if they hadn't heard from him, something was very wrong.

She died before he became leader, probably of a sickness outbreak. She likely didn't take the journey because she's immunocompromised in some way, plus the two newborns.

She was given a place in StarClan, but I'm not sure if she followed Ripplestar and Birdflight into the Dark Forest. She DID vote to accept them though.

I think she's practical about this. Leave for the Dark Forest, and you loose your voting power in StarClan.

She sees that there are very few SkyClan ancestors left here, hears Skystar scoff that the others are fools for leaving, that if more had remained then the rebels would not have been damned... and understands the value in his words.

If there's any reason for the Tigerkin Curse (which I hadn't really been working with until now, tbh, I just chalked it up to Bad Mojo on the night of Ripplestar's last stand), it's probably related to Birdflight in some way. Which is why no one knows what's causing it.

I don't know why, yet, though. Maybe it's an accident on her part. She could be crafting their litters, but every time she finishes a set, she can't help but cry about how much the fresh souls remind her of the newborns that stopped her from joining her mate, and her kits in the Dark Forest.

It's probably why the PROPER curse might stop abruptly after SkyClan's return. She joins Skypelt as soon as it's an option.

[ID: BB!Marshscar. He's a scrawny, battle-scarred old tabby with a diamond motif.]

He doesn't have any markings in-canon so I tried to just make all of his scars diamond-shaped. I don't think it works, I'm going to give him some markings.

I like the ears though, that's staying. I might also borrow from the old Larkstripe design, give him those funky diamond-spikes on his chest.

I have barely talked about him, but he is actually very important to Ripplestar. They've been mates since they were young warriors.

I kinda want to make it so that Spottedpelt was Ripplestar's deputy before being killed that night, but it was always implicit that if something happened to them, Marshscar was next in charge.

This drawing is definitely when he's older and more worn-out, he lives a long life without Ripplestar, ruling ShadowClan reluctantly, half-heartedly doing the bare minimum.

It's a downer story, and I think it really fits the theme here that Clan Culture is about to get a whole lot worse before it gets better... but still I love the fact that Ripplestar's Rot just ends with the entire cast like

[ID: Spongebob sits at a diner with his hands folded, frowning slightly, disquieted and deep in thought]

Like there really isn't a happy camper in this one lmao. Nobody wins. Alexa play 'That's Not How The Story Goes'

#The ONLY sketch that's REALLY smiling is Spottedpelt lmaoooo #The rest of the cast: 'nothing in life matters'#Spottedpelt: 'NOTHING IN LIFE MATTERS <3'#better bones au #Sketch requests #Ripplestar's Rot #BB!Ripplestar #BB!Marshscar #BB!Marshstar #BB!Spottedpelt #BB!Birdflight #BB!Larkstripe

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gigidragonbbxxx · 2 months

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Okay so I'll try to make it as simple and short as possible, for me the most logical way to manifest is REPETITION by repeating any affirmations over and over again it has no option but to manifest either a thought or a visual representation of your manifestation. So I've been repeating this one scenario in my head for around 2 years like the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep this specific scenario has been looping in my mind non stop even when I gave up on manifestation I quite all technique and everything I still used to loop this visuals (video) where I've everything I want like rn I'm thinking as if, I don't do this to get something I genuinely love doing this (acting as if/ visualizing) because obviously that gives me happiness my question here is why my subconscious is not reprogrammed yet when every second evey hour there is only scene in my head I don't get this and now finally I'm so hopeless and actually want a answer. Whether you believe it or not repetition is the key if you repeat something over and over and over and over and over again our brain creates new neural pathway and then it will show up in our reality. Then what the fuck is wrong with me

I REALLY WANT TO DIE NOWW

Everything will be okay. To whoever sent this, no you do not want to die. You want your new reality very badly and that's understandable.

So please bear with me and know I'm saying all of this with kindness:

from what I'm reading, you've been looping this scenario in your head for 2 years and are still looking for it. you already seemingly have read and taken the advice of repetition, acting as it, etc.

I'll be honest, I'm worried for you so I'm gonna go back to basics.

Are you viewing this reality as "It's mine now" or do you view it as something you're chasing?

Steps to Take:

take a break. seriously. take a break.

take stock of what has happened in your life within the 2 yrs you've been manifesting it - have there been small changes? have you been experiencing at the minimum, some of your desired reality?

take time to refocus on YOU. sit down, make a mind map of who YOU are and then make a separate one for your dream reality and see if they're truly different

treat yourself the same way the version of you in that reality would, just to jolt yourself in the feeling of living in the end and not just imagination, sometimes ppl need a lil 3D encouragement. for example, if the version of you always gets what they want, go into a store and buy your favorite snack just because. practice feeling good about your life.

even if you know what to do, going back and reading Neville Goddard or listening to edward art on youtube is helpful.

Final Piece of Advice

Suggested Affirmations

No matter what I feel, no matter how frustrated I am, nothing messes up the fact that my manifestations are coming in for me.

I know I am worthy of my dream reality.

I always do everything right.

I release any blockages or resistance that hinder me from experiencing my desired life

You know you deserve it. Treat yourself with love.

See you in your desired timeline, xx, gigi

#gigianswers #gigiwrites #law of assumption blog #affirm and persist #affirmations #law of assumption #loass #loassumption #neville goddard #manifestation #self concept #manifesting #loassblog #law of manifestation #edward art

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woah-uhuh-uhuh-uhuh · 7 months

Text

BAC: SECOND VIEWING NOTES!

Yeah i went again on sunday and really wanted to cry after because it's over forever Q_Q i am inconsolable but for the fact that there may be a halloween party... but uhhhhhhh anyway here's what I noticed this time!!

(also here's the notes from my first time for reference [x])

Ad libs:

Final show energy & lots of ad libs! Which were apparently real unscripted ad libs!! A lot of them were just little things (so I can't recount most of them) but they were very very good. the blorbos became real people for a second there

When Rich is looking for Mountain Dew Red at the party, Jenna appears and says "I have Mountain Dew Blue?" and he explodes at her (possibly "Not now, Jenna!")

When Christine and Jeremy talk together at the party, they're sitting on beanbags; after they get scared off by the skeleton guy, they're laughing and crawling back to their seats - Christine, through laughter: "oh where's the beanbag...."

Changes (?)

VIMH: Rich: "The ladies are gonna get to know the real Richard Goranski... And the dudes." Then he stares into the distance for like 30 seconds (a very long time), making calculating gestures in the air (like the woman with math meme) before going "Oh. My god............... I am totally bi!"

Maybe wrong, but I swear there was a wind part added to the middle of Michael in the Bathroom??? I thought it might be a flute or digital flute..... but as a flautist I might be projecting.....

The Play: Multiple thin green lights flickered down on people as they got squipped, with a cute video game chime sound. But fairly certain this was always there and I just noticed it this time lmao

Smartphone Hour: Background acting on the little platform at the very back of the stage: a scooby-doo esque chase sequence where a firefighter rushes on from SR and disappears SL (implied Jake's house is SL); the fireman reappears with Jake in his arms and runs back SR to safety. Then Jake runs back across to get something from his house and the fireman is trying to stop him. Then Jake runs back out of the house holding a teddy bear he saved from the fire; the fireman is chasing him back out of the house. It was fucking hilarious 10/10 especially because I couldn't be sure if it was a new addition or if I just completely filtered it out last time like a basketball gorilla dslfjdslfk

Also on Jake: between the teddy bear and the Upgrade scene (also detailed by Dani) where he's talking about archery while holding a plush duck - unsure dramaturgically if it's supposed to be a real dead duck or a toy, but anyway.... Jake who likes stuffies??? IDK if I buy it but I don't know enough about Jake to NOT buy it and its also a very fun headcanon I think so it's going on the pile for me. he can collect plushies with jeremy as far as im concerned dsljfsdkfjs

Oh yeah Jeremy also had a big white duck plush on his bed. edit: this is actually a seagull plush! Its name is Katie and it belongs to stage crew member Anya!

More details I saw this time

General

Christine actor was actually amazing she has this giggly honk voice she uses when being like obnoxiously loud and silly and idk how to describe it but such intense LOUD SILLYGIRL ENERGY. A little different than the chris im used to and it was fun to see another version of her!!

Maybe I'm insane but I think Christine also pronounced Jeremy kinda like 2 syllables (Jare - me). This extremely slight difference somehow led to me perceiving her singing "Is he worth it? Germyyyyyyy!" IDK Sorry Jaclyn if you are reading this ldksfjdlsk

Lots of times when Jeremy is talking about becoming cool he does little hip gyrations (think Rich at the urinal i guess but more subtle)

Jeremy does this thing where he holds his hand bent stiff with his fingers all together and taps hard on his right temple to express some kind of frustration with the SQUIP- e.g. when he's trying to get the SQUIP to turn on after the first day; during the end of the Halloween party, etc. Actually it very much has the same conceptual energy as "C'c'c'come on....." now that I think about it

Michael blows a cloud of smoke during a few of his entrances (MTS and maybe Halloween - or that was Dustin maybe)

He also uses a vape pen I think? When he says 'we gotta get stoned in my basement'

Preshow montage

Before the show, there's a montage of screenshots from the teens' lives on the back wall --- that is, their selfies and their text convos. Pretty sure the texts were that gossip submitted by fans? I only remember two:

"i heard that guy who wears hoodies all the time only listens to weezer" <- (I only noticed this one 'cause it KILLED ME honestly I feel like Jeremy would love Weezer and Michael would hate it sdjkfljdsf ) edit: this text was submitted by @/thesquirrelqueer!

I don't remember who was on which side, but Brooke or Chloe sending Chloe or Brooke a big comforting text after her breakup and making plans to go get ice cream I think?

MTS

"Dad haven't you ever heard of privacy?" He says this while putting on his belt after the opening.

Jeremy's actually gesturing towards his locker for like the entire conversation between Brooke, Chloe, Jenna; when they notice him finally it kinda looks like he's just pointing at them and that's part of why they think he's weird I think?

M: "Humanity has stopped evolving!" Jeremy then takes like 20 seconds of looking confused before going (approximately) "is that supposed to be good...?"

"Christiiiiiine Canigula!" Each Christine section he eventually (around 3rd time) starts using this fanboy totally-losing-his-mind-over-this voice which is REALLY hard to describe but i'll try: like lower & less articulate, like how it sounds when you raise your soft palate (?), and going up at the end kind of laugh-like like he's really excited. (For a bmc reference maybe sounds a little like will roland's tone in i even got some blood flowing / with no computer screen around). Anyway i'm not gonna lie it did make him sound really lame jsdlkfjdsf

"Why can't someone just help me out?" As Jeremy sings this bridge it's all dark except for a light on him. Students line up chairs behind him and sit down. At this line, two guys walk forwards on either side and touch his shoulders (looking kind of solemn / sympathetic) , and guide him back to sit in the chair in the middle. Then the lights come up on everyone and more group choreo wheeee

Post-ILPR MTS reprise

Christine: "Sorry, Jeremy, did you say something?" -> after this scene, she runs off giggling loudly, apparently glad to not be interrupted and VERY visibly excited about Jake asking her out

Jeremy sings "I don't wanna be special / Don't even want to survive...." (Instead of usual "Don't even need to survive.") Not sure if it was intentional but it happened at both shows I saw and made me sad both times noooooo........... guy...........

Squip song

Rich actually rubs his hands all over Jeremy's face (in addition to his arms)

"Top secret can't even look it up on the internet type shit": Rich looks to the side and mimes a rectangle (computer screen) then mimes typing where the keyboard would be

2PG

"I don't want that to be my future! Sad, and alone, and ... " - The music cuts out at "sad" instead of at the beginning of this line.

On their relationship in general, I think Michael irritates Jeremy more than fanon typically has it lol. Very excitable Michael who kinda lacks volume control (in several scenes - including VIMH even after Jeremy tells him to be quieter). Constructive interference of autism etc etc

(Again fun to see this!! as a jeremy stan i am definitely guilty of making michael a godlike perfect friend to jeremy and like.. no... they don't actually mesh that well even just in the script!! Often times Jeremy doesn't understand or care about the things Michael says. So yeah absorbing this into my headcanons now thank you)

Also back wall was this like vaporwave looking low-poly 2 person first person shooter game footage (think wolfenstein but with a very different aesthetic - purple and blue, and i think with some objects depicted in mesh).

BMC P1

When Jeremy's spasming on the ground (last time I thought he looked mostly in pain - this time he was vibrating a bit more like he lost muscle control) - local build-a-bear employee Jared Kleinman (JARED KLEINMAN...) and some other people start filming him.

Jared keeps filming him through the scene until SQUIP: "All they see is you having an animated conversation... with yourself." Jeremy turns and notices him; Jared doesn't stop filming but just waves at him nonchalantly (in a mocking way like hey buddy welcome back to reality)

Jared also has a BaB apron and BaB backpack on (or a bear sticking out of his backpack i dont remember). Pretty sure he also had a bear with him in another scene, probably Halloween?

"Lookin pretty sexy, brooke" -- says it in like a low Elvisy voice (like will connolly)

BMC P2

"Everything about you is going to be wonderful" -- Jeremy rolls up his cardigan sleeves so they're just below the elbow. (One of them slipped back down and he put it up again but I didnt think it was intentional lol). I was surprised how much instantly cooler that made him look but maybe that's just because my older brother wears his sleeves like that ljdsfkdsfklsfdlk

......also note that MICHAEL usually wears his sleeves rolled up like that in this production.... inch resting.....

MTS reprise

When the lights first come up, Jeremy is snoring with his head hanging off the side of the bed. He stops breathing for a second, then jerks awake.

GTIKBI

Chris: "I know you and Jake used to date...." Chloe and Brooke simultaneously go "Oh my god, no!!!" --- Chloe to Christine (mockingly), meanwhile Brooke is unrelatedly browsing her phone and says it in distress because she (implied) has just seen that Eminem died. As convo continues, Brooke sits next to another student (Leo Collins?) and shows them the article. (She still says 'yeah jake is so gross' to Chloe, just sounding upset)

Upgrade

I ALREADY SAID THIS BUT JEREMY AND BROOKE WERE SO CUTE TOGETHER JLKSDFLDFSJ. I decided to only watch them during this song (/ _ \) Based on their acting when they walked near the stage stairs, they had climbed to the back of the bleachers and were walking precariously on the outside of the railing - specifically, they went over the stair railings - first Brooke and she teeters a bit and jokingly pretends like she's gonna fall off; Jeremy goes under the rail, comes up on the other side and does a gesture like *tada!*. Then they sit down together and are talking and its just really cute. making me ship puppy love over here jdsifojdslkfdjsflk

Halloween

Michael was at the dance in costume - during a certain point (I think right before Rich starts losing it) Michael gets lost out of the group choreo, seems to be stressed out and runs off stage (presumably to the bathroom)

One of the guys is dressed up like Guy Fieri and it's really good. Like I remember last time I even had a moment where I realized I was interpreting this actor as playing The Real Guy Fieri At Jake's Halloween Party. Also in MITB he uses his hat (which is a combo of visor and fake hair) to knock on the door.

DYWH

Chloe: "...rock this baby fast asleep" then, laughing: "Goo goo ga ga!!" and she kinda topples onto him. The actress said she got this from the West End production!

When Jeremy says "I can't stand up." It was kind of implied it's because he has an erection not because his legs are frozen; right before this line he stands up then sits down and puts a pillow in his lap. Either way though ig it was still the SQUIP stopping him (S: "you're welcome.")

GTIKBI reprise

as Dani pointed out, Christine was sitting kinda numbly on the beanbag with headphones on; she takes them off when Jeremy starts talking to her.

Voices in my Head

Jeremy's wearing an X-Men shirt!

Re: expensive headphones - Michael's rubbing Rich's shoulders (???) when he says "I'm sure someone would be lucky to have you" (and then of course he still says but not meeeee while sending him flying)

"Throw you a rope home slice if you need some dope advice" Jake fist bumps with Jeremy (or equivalent gesture i dont remember)

Stagedorks kiss: after C says yes, they walk to the center of the stage. Jeremy rushes forwards and puts his hands on her cheeks (i think?) to pull her into a kiss. They separate, beat, then Christine goes forwards again and they have a long slow kiss while the ensemble keeps dancing and singing around them.

Not intentional i dont think but Patrick the Jeremy actor was crying a bit at the end /( T_ T \ )

OK YEAH i might add more to this if I remember and/or edit it back into the first post...... but hope that was fun to read????

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hisbutler-problematic · 1 year

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On the topic of Sebastian being completely enthralled about everything Ciel is, I personally love it so much more knowing manga context, because O!Ciel was the 'spare'. He was not supposed to carry the family nane and, frankly, people didn't think he'd be capable of it due to his poor health anyway (Remember Frances and Vincent's conversation in the flashback chapters? It's obvious O!Ciel was quite saddened by what he heard).

By all means, in a twisted way, Sebastian might just be the first person to regard O!Ciel as someone deeply capable, a shiny singularity that doesn't live in anyone's shadow. The adults around him were - tho not unrightfully - seeing his fragility first and foremost while his brother, despite seeing him as worthy, didn't wish for him to leave and forge his own path. R!Ciel's reaction came from childishness sure, but that isn't to say that it didn't feed into the idea that O!Ciel was 'his backup'.

Going off from this, Sebastian is also the one thing in his life and is irrevocably his. Again, twisted, but all O!Ciel built has been under another's name. The manor, the company, the engagement etc. None of them truly his, but his brother's. And the other servants? They are loyal, however ultimately their own people. Sebastian? In an entirely different spot. He'll be there until the end after all.

This is an aspect of their relationship that tugs at my heartstrings so much. It's so toxic and depressing yet strangely soft and tender somewhat at least to me.

Sorry, I just really wanted to pour my thoughts and I appreciate your posts. So here I am!

anon, i’m in love with you

i literally think about this all the time like. that conversation frances and vincent had? imo vincent just flippantly saying "i guess ill just have to give the estate back to the queen lmao" could be taken 2 ways which is: at face value OR (what i think is more likely) vincent just saying what he knows will piss frances off to get her to stop talking. tbh vincent seems like a good dad imo and like he doesnt super underestimate o!ciel (he seemed absolutely fine with the idea of o!ciel going off to london by himself and opening a toy store in the future), but he DOES know that o!ciel is frail and sickly, and it makes me wonder how seriously he considered the idea that o!ciel might inherent the title of the queen's watchdog.

honestly, i feel in some respects, r!ciel treats o!ciel more carefully than their parents. he very much has an attitude of "my baby brother NEEDS me, he cannot survive without me!!" (gasps and shock, to learn it is actually the other way around /s)

all this to say, whether you lean more towards my interpretation or yours, or a fun mix, or whatever, it is undeniable that all of o!ciel's relationships were 'tainted' (for lack of a better term) by his illness and the way it made others view him and treat him.

AND THEN COMES SEBASTIAN

sebastian, who takes one look at o!ciel, and goes "lmao what a fucked up lil dude. time for little a snacky". sebastian, who then sits down to forge a contract with said little dude only to realize Oh Okay So This Child Is Clever. And o!ciel being sickly does kind of come up when they're making the contract, but sebastian focuses more on the actual logistics of that and o!ciel says 'nvm we'll deal w it when it comes up' (which is hilarious imo. he really said a sudden chill can put me on my deathbed but thats a problem for future me).

and then it turns out o!ciel is hella sheltered. but also a huge bitch.

and at this point, all i can assume is sebastian is so bewildered by this experience that the fact that o!ciel is frail and sickly and fragile is like. just another thing about this kid. o!ciel has never made sebastian's life easy and it would be stupid to think he would start now, sebastian thinks as his young master suffers from yet another cold just bc it rained yesterday. "i never knew you had asthma" says sebastian, who has read every medical journal to date on chest colds. "you never asked," says the bane of sebastian's existence.

and the thing is you can say "sebastian is only worried about o!ciel bc if o!ciel dies, he loses his meal" which is true and accurate and tbh if i was sebastian and i had put up w that much, i wouldn't want to lose my meal to a mere cough.

BUT ALSO

then you see the way sebastian is so fascinated and intrigued and bewitched by o!ciel. i think to sebastian the fact that o!ciel is frail and sickly is just another contradiction in the sea of contradictions that makes o!ciel so fascinating. and i think sebastian is the only one who really sees all those contradictions, he's the only one who sees everything that makes up o!ciel. and he loves what he finds.

(not to mention the fact that sebastian is the only person o!ciel allows to see his every aspect. or, well, some he tries to hide, but only because he thinks sebastian will try to use something against him. either way, sebastian is still the only person who he lets see the most of him. because sebastian is the only person who knows who he really is, who he doesnt have to put up a front for. he doesn't have to pretend to be his brother, he doesn't have to worry about being the spare.)

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #sebastian michaelis #our ciel #sebaciel #sky posting #sky talks #sorry if this doesnt make sense i started thinking about them and blacked out

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