#but its my only one

[merinate]

why am i so sensitive

#my dad got a bit mad at me #bc i asked him for help with my bag #but the first thing he did was get mad #like #i know the bag isnt the prettiest #but its my only one #so dont scream at me that i walk around with that one #bc i literally dont have any other options #im crying now #i wish i wasnt so sensitive #so i wouldnt cry bc something so unimportant #yet here i am #hiding in the bathroom so my parents dont see my tears #merin’s talking

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

having a child has taught me that every toddler is completely justified in their frustrations and tantrums because learning how to do something you have literally never encountered or heard of before is insane. and being expected to be completely calm in the face of this constant barrage of overwhelming information is doubly insane.

i got charlie a sticker activity book and it occurred to me i have to TEACH someone how to unpeel stickers. it's SKILL that requires DEXTERITY and FINE MOTOR ABILITY. i thought it was obvious that you have to curl the page a little bit to create a break in the cut so the sticker comes up.

obviously a fucking BABY wouldn't know that because they have no background experience to inform their thought process. OBVIOUSLY. and OBVIOUSLY the LITERAL BABY wouldn't get it right the first few times. it would OBVIOUSLY take practice. lots of it.

i hate this feeling. it's so obvious. why are children treated so badly when they're learning everything for the first fucking time. why do people treat children so horribly and expect so much. they're brand new. why didn't i get the same grace i give to my child? why did no one have patience for me? why, when it's this easy?

it's so easy. it's so fucking easy.

#ok2rb #op #babbyposting #apologizing to my child is second nature #i'm brand new at it too #obviously im gonna fuck up here and there #its only right to apologize #why did no one ever apologize to me #not until it was too late

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

#instant conversation enders for my multiple youth pastor cousins #don’t say it (I’m gonna say it) #The Child is The Price #but i mean come on #as someone who isn't actually even christian the real-life historical version of this is still cursed as fuck #i mean we know that jesus was a person who existed. whatever circumstances he was born in #its terrifyingly ominous to imagine being so unaware of the affect your child will have on the future of humanity #time itself will one day be counted around your birth of him #and all because he will suffer an excruciatingly painful death that you will not be able to prevent #not only that. but regardless of his or your intentions #regardless of whether there is a god #for millenea unfathomable millions will have blood spilled and will spill blood in his name #atrocities will be committed that you cannot even conceive of #and all on his and your behalf #you love your child. its beautiful. but there's horror in what you've done. because everyone else will love him too #and what's more dangerous than that?

[queenburd]

in the span of hours tumblr has banned an out trans woman who was outspoken about her harrassment and the unfairness of the website's system and MULTIPLE out trans women who commented on the absurdity of the situation--has even banned them for posting pictures of hammers and cars.

if staff thought this was going to make the situation go away, all staff's gotten is a class action lawsuit. good job, hellsite "moderators." you showed your whole ass and you're going to go to court. again.

#im BITTER #im keeping my blog mostly free of it but you KNOW ive seen it and its just beyond a joke at this point how staff has acted. #and you know? theyre only banning the out trans women. ive seen that. the ones who arent out as trans women are untouched.

[wizard0rb]

kris and noelle discuss critically acclaimed fps game half dead 2, their missing siblings, and obscure human musicians like claude debussy

#utdr #undertale #deltarune #noelle holiday #kris dreemurr #my art #YEA ITS A HALF LIFE REFERENCE SORRY I ONLY KNOW ONE THING

[cartarg]

kitty of some sort

#been doodlin... #oc #original art #cat #illustration #digital art #artists on tumblr #only rly drew these to satiate my desire for a long skirt. one day i will find u #edit: RAGHHHH the last one feels so plain i wanna add more to it... oh well.... just know its not to my Standards >:T #edit edit: WOWIE ty for all the love on this one!!!! and to everyone saying gender in the tags. u get it u get it <3 <3 <3

[ryssbelle]

Drew a bunch of Marinettes in a bunch of different artists styles it was a lot of fun!!

Artists who's styles I mimicked: @buggachat @hamsternamedmarinette @ladybeug @sabertoothwalrus and @anna-scribbles all epic artists 🤟😎

#my art #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanart #style mimic #sorry for the @s btw #yall should go follow those artists if you dont already also #this was sort of inspired by a post the three artists on the top row made #i think they all got together and drew with one another #which is really cool #but i was genuinely confused because i mimic styles a lot #and ive seen others do it too so i was just like #wow they really know each others styles really well #until i thought about it and read their posts some more #style mimicking is really freaking fun and i think its really good practice #and a good way to explore other ways of doing things #like you really have to learn new techniques and get out of your comfort zone #also anna scribbles i could not find a recent pic of marinette in her main outfit #so thats the only marinette i drew in different clothes cuz i couldnt find a more recent ref of you drawing it #anna scribble marinette has privileges thats the others dont #but ye #i also threw my own style in there as a frame of reference to what me draw like #ive drawn marinette before just not in a loooong while #sabertooth walrus was the hardest for me to mimic cuz they have a broad range in their style #so its like which sabertooth do i wanna be in this pic #Buggachat has such a distinct style thats very clean and consistent which is amazing so they were easy #being easy or hard arent bad things either it also has to do with like styles meeting up with one another #buggachats and mine arent too too different in some shapes and aspects #so yeah itd be easier plus they drew marinette like 3 sec ago so i have more recent of a ref #as opposed to sabertooth who i have a recent ref of ladybug but not marinette so we got two diff styles in one

[ghelgheli]

Often when trans women ask me when I'm performing next, and I tell them that it's a queer/trans event, they will tell me that they'd rather not go because they do not feel comfortable or safe in those spaces, that they have been dismissed or belittled at such events before. Even trans women who are dyke- or bisexual- identified often don't feel welcome or relevant in queer/trans spaces. And whenever a trans woman or ally points out aspects about the queer/ trans community that contribute to these feelings of irrelevancy and disrespect—such as the way our community coddles those who support trans-woman-exclusionist events or who make trans-misogynistic comments—we are described as being "divisive." This use of the word "divisive" is particularly telling, as it implies that "queer/trans" represents a uniform movement or community—a "oneness"—rather than an alliance where all voices are respected.

Julia Serano, Whipping Girl. Published 2007.

#reading #just finished it and this from the final chapter was my fav moment and one of the few times i was nodding along #the book is solid in certain places #even incisive at times #but it is so theoretically confused and downright wrong in some of its foundatioms #that i CANNOT recommend it as an introduction to transmisogyny and i can only SUGGEST it as a v critical read #may say more later #whipping girl #transmisogyny

[feeshu09]

The only logical option left.

#svsss #svsss fanart #mxtx svsss #scum villian self saving system #shen yuan #shen jiu #shen twins #i am normal for this au #something dumb to pass the time while im wasting away sick #i imagine they only have one braincell between the two of them #and its with neither of them tbh #my art

[taikk0]

i cant think of a caption i have an exam tomorrow 💀(it is currently 12 am <3)

#taikko art #yes this is a reference to the one raggedy ann movie #i think im starting to get fixated on raggedy ann but im a lil guilty cuz i only got around to watching it because of tadc and i dont wanna #-be the one insufferable tadc fan </3 #i saw the comments on the movie on yt talking abt ragatha and it pissed me off i got self conscious lmao #tadc fandom. pls dont touch raggedy ann shes her own seperate thing pleae #same thing happened with my interest in animatronics being constantly being told its fnaf MADE ME SOO MADD #ragapom #jesterdoll #buttonblossom #ragatha x pomni #pomatha #ragamni #pomni x ragatha #the amazing digital circus #tadc fanart #tadc pomni #gooseworx #amazing digital circus #tadc #pomni #tadc fandom #the digital circus #digital circus #tadc art #fanart #art #digital art #ship art #tadc ship

[improvapocalyps]

You have 90 minutes to complete. (original poem: r.a.)

In participation of the MCYT Recursive Exchange 2024 hosted by @mcytrecursive!

Inspired by know that all my love will be your breath (i will save you when your lights go out)

[text under cut]

1. Have you ever been in love? (Please circle your answer.) a. It's me and him b. Our hearts beat in sync c. Our lives intertwined

2. Do you understand what you’ve done? (Please circle your answer.) a. I couldn't do anything b. I lost my balance c. I doomed us both

3. It's been god knows how long since you felt phantom hands on your neck and there is no one in sight. If you were soul-bound to him and both of you died at the same time then why are you still waiting in the void? Please answer clearly, in full sentences. (Not a correct answer：I just wanted to see him one more time).

4. Define two (2)： Fate | The feeling of his forehead against yours Curse | The moment you realise he isn't linked to you anymore

5. True or False： i. It was your fault. ii. You wish you had met him under different circumstances. iii. You can’t regret a single moment that you had him. iv. You would do it all over again if you could. v. It ended long before either of you said anything.

thumbnails:

sketch cover thing for imgur link:

#team ranchers #team rancher #rancher duo #jimmy solidarity #tangotek #trafficshipping #mcyt recursive exchange #events #fic fanart #my art #“canary has butterfly-shaped wings it cant do a dramatic spread like that” watch me. (draws dramatic wings) (sorry) #“you have 90 minutes” have been rattling in my brain for so long ever since i suddenly remembering a web weave using it (yes the beeduo one #very glad i can release it (using it in art) from its confines (my mind) #hm i suppose the title would be more in theme if its abt limited life ranchers #← havnt watched limlife yet #but! happy with what i come up with. lil bit proud even #had so much trouble with the panelling and layers in p2 cause it looks too busy (explodes) #also punching the floor bc i only noticed the “yes-no” pair(?) in the original poem when im already half-done w/ the comic #me when making silly comic makes you do poem analysis #i dont even go there ← does not have enough poetic braincells

[disco-asphodel]

realtalk but when i see dudes on steam or ppl on tumblr talking about how disco elysium made them feel pathetic and uncomfortable i just. i don’t know. i cannot relate to that at all. disco elysium is about an alcoholic amnesiac poet in love with a dying city who loves him back. if i had never been an alcoholic, if i had never been suicidally depressed, maybe i would think the world of disco elysium is a bleak one. but when you know what it’s like to go through that darkness and come out of it again? to fall back in love with a world that almost destroyed you? disco elysium is the most hopeful story imaginable. it sees the world for what it is and holds nothing back, none of the horror, none of the wonder, none of the love…

something about art comforting the disturbed and disturbing the comfortable i dunno

#disco elysium #harry du bois #cw suicide mention #i can only speak for myself ofc. but it’s one of the most hopeful stories i ever experienced #its like literature or something! #meta #text #my posts

[gaminegay]

People go on about good healthy queer rep but I cannot express how much I want unhealthily devoted queer rep. Raise your lover from the dead no matter the cost. Kill to get them to safety. Trade your soul for theirs. Die to reunite with them. I want gothic hyper-devotion codependent lovers

#I'm listening to music rn its giving me illnesses #Alda rambling #Please. Must I draw my own art? Must I write my own narratives? #Shout out to the Arcana for giving me the crazy devotion dating sim love I needed #Like *to me* it's more queer #The 'you're the only one it's only you and I will do whatever it takes even when people hate me for it's

[thenearsightedmicroraptor]

Seen a lot of posts about people coming into your notifications out of nothing and liking your entire blog, but here's a shoutout to the people who do Not follow you, who appear out of nowhere, reblog One (1) post that you are Not the op of, and then you never see them again. Where did you come from girl.

#EDITED bc I think this one goes on ppls recommended pages now #HEY GUYS the question in this post is rhetorical ! i don't actually care. you can stop telling me honeys its ok #i like the mystery. i don't needta know everything #also when i say shoutout. i mean it. i love you guys i am not annoyed. you're all wonderful. keep doing you. #posts by ME #tumblr #like ... you didn't find the post thru tags because I just reblogged it #i made no addition. how did you find me #be free you majestic creatures I'm glad I got to witness you in passing #how tf tho. #did you look at my blog but only one post made the cut. amazing. i love you.

[stil-lindigo]

patchwork canary.

a comic about two girls, fate, and a powerful man who felt entitled to something that wasn’t his to own.

support me on patreon (if you’d like to see more comics like this one)

#cw: blood and implication of gore #lgbt #sapphic #comic #lesbian #nea and nary are meant for each other #its just that halfway through i realised a slowburn type romance suited them more #hence the fact they dont do any kissie smoochie stuff in this #not that physicality is the only way you can show romantic love #but i did just want to mention it in case it wasnt clear #theyre not /just/ friends basically #horror #just a little #id love it if this became my brand #slightly unsettling queer romantic stories #i struggled with this one quite a bit #just perfectionism #pushing and pulling to see where i could go with it #i hope you enjoyed it #and as always #thank you for reading #stillindigo art