sonic the hedgehog tumblr dashboard simulator
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💠 extremegayr Follow
got held up in traffic today cause some noob couldnt drive the fucking loop-de-loop. lmfao fucking coward
15 notes
🎛 420zone Follow
ok but robotnik's kind of a dilf tho
🌫 wispgender Follow
he's literally a war criminal can we NOT do this tumblr
🎛 420zone Follow
📰 its-no-use Follow
@wispgender dont u literally simp for nominatus like who is one to talk
🌫 wispgender Follow
NOMINATUS ISN'T REAL????
🛜 viralsensation-destructorofworlds Follow
that you know of
🌫 wispgender Follow
what
10,672 notes
🔷 sonicinthewild
43,834 notes
☣️ lineinthesand Follow
saw sonic the hedgehog irl once. he showed up at my village, released 30 feral pickys in the town hall, paid the ice cream vendor roughly a thousand rings for a single chili dog, told me not to waste my life worrying about the little things, and then caused a fucking tornado
🧿 spiralhillspindash Follow
ok and??? you're not special
☣️ lineinthesand Follow
THIS WAS A PERSONAL POST GO AWAAAAY
173 notes
🌠 chaoinspace2electricboogaloo
sucks that sticks the badger hates all technology you know she would do NUMBERS on here
568 notes
☸️ r0u3e Follow
being an islander be like "are those the kind of eggsplosions i should worry about or the kind of eggsplosions that are gonna repair our crops, fix the economy, and bring my dead grandma back to life"
🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow
being a continenter be like "oh great what primordial diety has risen from the grave to block traffic and fight a 15yo today"
🥭 chao-official
being a chao be like "chao chao chao chao chao"
🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow
you said it my mans
579,056 notes
🏵 sprinkles-the-chao Follow
hold on if sonic the hedgehog is jewish then how is he santa claus
🤖 e123-omegaverse Follow
dont question him
85,628 notes
☣️ sparkygoboom Follow
hey guys real question are human/mobian relationships problematic
💠 extremegayr Follow
op is about to start the anthro church schism of the fifteenth year all over again
🛞 mobotropolis Follow
ok but in all seriousness did your mom never teach you that part of history
🎢 marxiobros Follow
someone doesn't know about the united federations public school system
🛞 mobotropolis Follow
what the fuck is a public school
⏭️ drowningmusic Follow
⚄ paradoxprism Follow
are we gonna talk about op's chaos radiation fetish
💠 extremegayr Follow
OP'S WHAT NOW
🏞 mobiancrossing Follow
ok but am i the only one who thinks that the public school system would be a good idea if handled right? like i know it's traditional to learn from your parents and then experience the world on our own from the ages of 7-13 but like combining all our knowledge and learning together doesnt seem like a bad idea
☠️ fabian-vane-number-1-hater Follow
bitch that's what the internet is for
🌅 s0leanna-apple-barrell
yeah where else am i gonna learn to make infinite chaos emeralds
❇️ freesurge Follow
"infinite chaos emeralds" that's called the phantom ruby
🏳️🌈 rainbowwispforgayrights Follow
everybody on this site has brain damage
❇️ freesurge Follow
yeah. from the radiation
603,573 notes
🐸 froggysfriend
caught this today
🏝 digginginthegroundfortubers
if anything happens to this blog i genuinely hope eggman blows us all up as punishment
950,420 notes
🐊 teamchaotixofficial
Hey guys! Sorry to do this again but rent's a little tight this month :( If we've ever solved a case for you guys or made you guys smile, please consider sending a ko-fi our way! we just need a few rings to get through the month <3
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🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow
do we ever talk about that time the sky turned blood-red and shadow the hedgehog's demon dad descended from on high to murder us all and we only barely survived
❤️🔥 songoose4evr Follow
shadow fixed it it's fine
🎮 n0cturnity
yeah that was like twelve apocalypses ago move on
🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow
kinda wanted to bang black doom tbh
🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow
THE DEVIL???? FROM THE BIBLE????
🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow
yeah. move over gayboy i'm boutta be shadow's new dad
856,301 notes
🗑️ berrybarry
starting a conspiracy that time hasnt moved since 2006
🗑️ berrybarry
why the fuck was i shadowbanned after posting this
8 notes
🤡 clownfinite Follow
tfw you finally save up enough rings for ice cream and you go outside and get hit by swatbot pieces and the rings just go fuckin everywhere
587 notes
🔷 sonicinthewild
34,452 notes
🌌 h-o-l-o-l-y-n-x
so did y'all see that genesis wave or was it just me
0 notes
🆙 planetsgiantcrack Follow
the virgin tweeter "if you use a bad word in the same tweet as the word 'cream' you get obliterated off the site" vs this chad site of "i want to put knuckles back in a microwave"
💟 presidentyaoi Follow
BACK????
69,849 notes
⬜️ chao-and-wisps-4-ever-so-cute-2 Follow
ok posting my first fanart to this site pls be nice! <3
2 notes
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
why does tails look like he's always about to say "it fucken WIMDY"
🦊 miles-prower-official
Hello, @emeraldfwuitgummy!
I actually quote that image on a constant basis! Sonic thinks it's hilarious every time. He's quite the fan of memes, and it's nice to get a laugh out of him!
Formally,
Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
SO WAS ANYONE GOING TO TELL ME THAT TAILS WAS ON THIS FUCKING SITE OR--
🏅 iwishhumanswerereal Follow
do. do you not know he created tailblr. dude it's in the name lmao
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
he
WHAT
🍭 milfwisp Follow
didn't eggman invent this site???
🪫 veganswatbot
THE EGG ABANDONED SCRAMBLR IN ITS TIME OF NEED AND THE FOX RAISED US FROM THE ASHES. YOU WILL NOT DISRESPECT HIM
🦊 miles-prower-official
Hello, @milfwisp and @veganswatbot!
Very good question! This site was Eggman's until I ate his bones. Thank you for engaging! :D
Formally,
Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
YOU
WHAT
🌭 sonicsays
what's not clicking
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
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