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queen-of-writing-bad-things · 3 months

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Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3

Episode 5: The Trouble with Frittles

~In the Man Cave~

It was official, the city had gone insane. In the world's craziest PR stunt, the Frittle Company had decided to release two new chip flavours, Bodacious Blue Bacon and Raging Red Rhubarb. Both were wacky, both were weird and both had sent Swellview into a meltdown when the sneaky CEO announced that only one flavour would become a steady product. Now, everyone was bacon or rhubarb, red or blue.

It was the same in the Man Cave. Henry and (y/n) were Bodacious Blue Bacon all the way and Ray had found an ally in Jasper for Raging Red Rhubarb, not that the true fighting had begun yet.

"Hey, Schwoz." Ray greeted his funny little handyman as he and his girlfriend came down from the sprocket. He was munching on some red Frittles, but (y/n) wouldn't say anything, not yet. Bacon was way better than rhubarb, however, she loved her boyfriend and knew that he'd take her different opinion as the ultimate betrayal.

"What's the scoop?" (y/n) quipped as she watched Schwoz shovel oats into the auto-snacker with a small scooper. God, she loved puns, Schwoz though, not so much.

"I'm filling the snack machine with oats for my sister." He answered after rolling his eyes, making Ray groan. Not that damn horsewoman.

"Ugh, Winnie's still here?" He grumbled, which caused (y/n) to smack him on the arm. She didn't want him to be rude about Schow'z family, but then again, having an equine madwoman around the place did make having time for themselves tricky. She didn't have an understanding of boundaries.

"She's only been visiting for two days." Schwoz frowned, thinking that the large man was overreacting.

"I know, but...she looks like a horse and she freaks me out!" Ray whined, shoving another Frittle into his mouth. Those eyes; they followed him around the room and it made making out with his girl extremely freaky for him.

"Shhhhh! She's right over there." hushed Schwoz and the three looked over to see Winnie stood sleeping by the elevator, snorting and whinnying like a horse. "Schleeping." Schwoz smiled, she was his sister and he loved her even if she was odd.

"Ignore him, he's just cranky." (y/n) smiled at Ray and leant up to kiss him, but the man jerked his lips away when he saw Schwoz snacking on something repulsive over her head. Blue Frittles? What the fu...

"Hey, dude, uh...if you really like those...blue Frittles, you really gotta try these Raging Red Rhubarb ones, 'cause they're really good." Ray retched at the thought of the Bacon flavour and (y/n) pouted as he ignored her kiss for some dumb chips. Well, he definitely wouldn't like it when he found out what her preference was.

"Eh, (y/n) and I think the blue chips are better." Schwoz shrugged and the young woman gulped as she nervously looked at her boyfriend. He slammed his can of Frittles down and looked at her with annoyed eyes. Honestly, it's the ones that you love the most that hurt you the most.

"I mean, the rhubarb's nice, but the bacon is, y'know, nicer." She smiled shakily, but he wasn't impressed. His darling, sweet girl was in league with the blue Frittles? Ew.

"On Tuesday, you're both voting for the red chips," Ray told the two, making (y/n)'s smile drop instantly. He wanted her to do what now?

"Okay, A, don't tell me what to do, B, no, we're not and C, don't use that tone with me or you won't be getting any for the next four weeks." She replied sternly, moving to stand next to Schwoz with her hands on her hips. She loved him, always, but she wasn't going to get bullied into something. Her opinion was valid.

"The red chips are better." Ray insisted, looking at both of his friends with a serious face. He didn't want to go a whole month with no touch from his girl, but he wanted, no, he needed those rhubarb Frittles in his life and every vote counted.

"What's it like to be so stupid?" The small guy folded his arms and looked at his boss with as much disdain as the woman next to him. If they wanted to vote for blue, they were gonna vote blue.

"You shouldn't even be allowed to vote." Ray hissed back, making (y/n) step in front of her little friend protectively.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" She asked him in a pissed off tone, staring at him with a hard gaze and folded arms. God, he was such a drama queen sometimes.

"You know exactly what that means, sweet girl," Ray growled at her softly and tried to walk away, mumbling something about Schwoz going back to his own country. Schwoz, being a small guy, wasn't one for extreme acts of violence, but being told to go back home over a damn chip got his dander up. He sprinted across the room and leapt onto Ray's back, strangling the startled man as they struggled.

"Seriously? All this over a chip flavour?!" (y/n) shouted at the men, who were spinning wildly across the room. She couldn't bear to watch as they knocked into the peaceful Winnie, setting her off into a frenzy. Geez, what a mess.

"Oh, for god's sake!" The young woman shrieked and tried to avoid getting clipped by Winnie's flailing arms as she made her way over to Ray and Schwoz. At this point, Ray had peeled Schwoz away from his back and was holding him under his arms like a child. It was quite a comical sight, not that Schwoz was laughing.

"Put me down!" He grunted, kicking his legs around in the air as he struggled to get free. It was a useless attempt though, Captain Man's clutches were strong and used to holding even the toughest of criminals. Puny Schwoz had no chance of escape.

"Nope, I know where to put you," Ray smirked and marched Schwoz over to the big barrel of oats he'd brought down for Winnie. He wasn't going to put him in there, was he?

"Raymond, don't be ridiculo---oh, god." (y/n) facepalmed as she watched her boyfriend plunge the poor repairman face-first into the oats, leaving nothing but his calves and feet sticking out of the top. It was an immature move that proved he'd won, but Ray couldn't help but feel like he'd gained one thing and lost another; the adoration of his sweet girl.

"Unbelievable." (y/n) hissed and walked off to grab the blue can of Frittles that Schwoz had left lying around. If he wanted a war, he could have won, he could stick her in with Schwoz if he wanted, she didn't care.

The couple were sat on opposite ends of the couch's crescent curve and each enjoyed their respective books and chips. Normally, the girl would be glued to his side and he'd press kisses to her head whenever she giggled at a funny line in her novel, but this wasn't normal. It was boyfriend versus girlfriend, red versus blue and neither were gonna back down, not even when the elevator dinged and Henry and Charlottes stepped onto the battlefield.

"Oh, hey guys," Ray smirked at the teens as they frowned at the scene. They couldn't discern which was weirder, Schwoz in a tub full of oats, or seeing the world's cuddliest couple sat so far apart. However, the sharp flick of (y/n) turning her page over (with sass) told them that she was pissed off and the presence of the Frittles said even more. All out couple war.

"Uhhhh, Ray? (y/n/n)?" Charlotte asked the couple nervously, wondering why they were both acting as though nothing was wrong. They should be kissing for the fiftieth time that day by now, not munching on Frittles.

"Yeah, what goes on?" The superhero asked cooly, not glancing up from his book, although (y/n) did sneak a peek. It reminded her of ten years earlier when she first came to the Man Cave and would study the features of his face from behind the safety of her book. It was never more than a glimpse since she didn't want to risk her handsome boss noticing and she always told herself that it wasn't checking him out, it was just an analysis. Little did she know that he too often gave her an "analysis" to memorise the way she bit her lip at the tense part or wiggled her toes when she got to the happy ending.

This wasn't like that though, she was observing the enemy, seeing if he was as uninterested as he sounded and she stuck her nose back in her book when she saw that he was. There was a small "analysis" on the side too though, she had to admit that she had never been very good at resisting those.

"Did you stuff Schwoz into a bucket of...oats?" Henry questioned as Charlotte dashed over to help the screaming man, making (y/n) chuckle humourlessly.

"No, I don't recall seeing Schwoz today." Ray brushed off the comment as popped another Frittle into his mouth as Henry went to help Charlotte yank him out.

"That's funny because I do, babe." (y/n) remarked, spitting out the pet name like it was nasty on her tongue. Ray didn't take it to heart though, he knew it was just fighting talk. Never in their history had she called him babe. Doofus? yes. Handsome? yes. Babe? no. It wasn't her style, she'd given him her names for him and they always fell from her lips with so much sweetness, it sent him crazy. It was cold and lonely without her, but it would be over in a few days, hopefully.

The couple's focus was stolen from the lines in their books as Henry and Charlotte pushed the oat bucket over, freeing Schwoz from his torture. He stood up furiously, shaking off the oats from up his sleeves and glared at his boss, but it was safe to say that Ray didn't give a toss.

"Oh, hey, Schwoz. Where you been all day?" Ray smirked and nibbled on another chip. That cocky smile, it both boiled (y/n)'s blood and made her shudder with desire.

"You know! You stuffed me in that bucket of oats!" Schwoz cried and Ray giggled at the reminder.

"Oh, yeah. Good for me." He chuckled, snapping his book shut as his girlfriend studied his every mood. When he wanted to be, he could be so damn annoying.

"(y/n), why didn't you help me?" Schwoz whined and stamped his foot, making the young woman lift an eyebrow. She wasn't cruel or uncaring and she wanted to help, but...

"Well, I wanted to, I really did, but Ray said he'd never kiss me again if I went near you. Don't get me wrong, Schwoz, you're great, but I'm not giving that up after waiting nine years so..." She trailed off when she witnessed the rage build in Schowz's eyes until it reached its boiling point. The small man wrapped an arm around Ray's neck and yanked him backwards in a chokehold, making Henry, Charlotte and (y/n) panic.

"No, no, no!" Henry freaked and dashed over to pull Schwoz away, but for such a small guy, he was quite strong. It must have been all the lugging and loading Ray made him do.

"Okay, Schwoz, let go now." (y/n) pleaded with the guy and put a knee on either side of Ray's hips so she could lean over him and prise Schwoz's fingers from his throat. Her boyfriend had been pissing her off all day, but she didn't want any actual fighting going on. She loosened his grip as Henry pulled him away, causing Ray to collapse on her as he gasped for air. The couple toppled onto the floor, with Ray panting into her neck as she winced at the rough landing, although having her boyfriend on top of her did have its perks.

"Schwoz! My spchoon is too schmall!" Winnie trotted into the Man Cave as her brother seethed and Ray sneakily pressed his lips to (y/n)'s neck, feeling her pulse under his lips. She giggled at him when he pulled back and his eyes crinkled with happiness as he took into her flushed cheeks and the rapid rising and falling of her chest. Chips or no chips, they were still dorks in love.

"Well, what am I supposed to do about it?" Schwoz asked his sister, not wanting to leave his argument unsettled.

"Go get your sister a bigger schpoon!" Henry told him and shoved him in the horsey lady's direction as Ray raised his body from (y/n)'s and balanced himself on his knees.

"Oh, schweet," Schwoz grumbled in his strange accent but complied anyway. He knew when to walk away, sort of.

"Why'd you shove Schwoz in a bucket of oats?" Charlotte asked the large man as (y/n) gazed at him with playful eyes, pushing her boobs out a little in a way to lure him to her side. It was tempting, very tempting, but rhubarb was just his vibe.

"Because I'm the boss around here! And he and (y/n) were talking about blue chips and how great they are." Ray grumbled, scrambling to his feet and offering a hand to his girl. Sure, she was a tease and the enemy in the battle, but he was a gentleman through and through and he wasn't going to leave his queen on the floor.

"They are great, way better than those icky red chips," Henry noted, screwing his nose up at the thought of the sour taste of the rhubarb Frittles, which didn't go down very well with the big, blue aficionado, Ray Manchester.

"What are you talking about?" Ray let go of (y/n)'s hand and stood straighter as he looked at Henry with disgust. Another blue? First, his sweet girl, now his faithful sidekick, his friends sure had bad taste.

"Here we go again..." The young woman groaned, pinching her nose as the boys glowered at each other.

"Oh, come on, you guys! This is so dumb!" Charlotte voiced her annoyance too, although she was more neutral than (y/n) since she didn't give a shit about red or blue. She thought the world had gone mad and she sure as hell wouldn't be voting for a winner.

"Dumb?" Ray gawped at the young girl with an incredulous expression. This wasn't dumb, this was the question of the century: red or blue?

"How can you say that?" Henry added, making Charlotte roll her eyes. Despite his calmer nature, Henry was as big of a drama queen as Ray, especially when it came to being competitive.

"'Cause, no matter which chip wins, nothing's gonna change! I mean, remember when they came out with nacho cheese-flavoured chips that everyone thought were gonna change the world? Well, they didn't. Then, they gave us sour cream and onion, nothing changed. Then, cool ranch, then salsa verde, every four years, it's another new, exciting flavour! But look around, people. Nothing's changed! Yeah, you ponder that." She exclaimed, making Ray and Henry think about her mini-speech.

She had a point. The entire situation was just nothing marketing ploy by a large company to fool suckers into buying their chips. But, they didn't have time to ponder any longer, because the alarm sounded, making their heads snap to the supercomputer

"Emergency!" Henry gasped, knowing that noise so well. He heard it in his sleep now.

"Oh goodie, it's a video call." (y/n) smiled as they dashed over, rubbing her hands together excitedly. She always loved it when they got to see who was calling, it made things more interesting.

"Put it on screen," Henry instructed Charlotte, who sat down at the controls and hovered her finger over the button.

"Wait! We're not in uniform." Ray mentioned, gesturing to their casual clothes. God, they couldn't show the person who Captain Man was under the mask, nor his sidekicks. That would be a disaster.

"She's not gonna turn on our camera, doofus." (y/n) rolled her eyes and nudged him in the ribs with her elbow, but her amused smile let him know that she took his cautiousness in good humour.

"This my first day on the job?" Charlotte quipped, turning around to give Ray a raised eyebrow and a cynical look. Geez, some people just had no faith.

"No..." Ray mumbled, looking off to his right so he could avoid any eye contact. (y/n)'s smile was way more interesting anyway.

"Help! Please! Captain Man, Captain Man!" A terrified man appeared on the screen, shaking with fear as rocks crumbled around him. Well, this didn't look good.

"This is Captain Man, please state your emergency," Ray answered, leaning forward so he could hear everything. Plus, it was nice when (y/n) rested her cheek on his shoulder.

"Sure, I was climbing up Mount Swellview and there was an avalanche and I fell...ah! There's a big boulder on my leg and I can't move! Ah! More rocks are falling, please help, Captain Man, Kid Danger, Miss Danger, please, help!" The man groaned, clutching his broken leg as it throbbed under the boulder and he reached into his rucksack for a small comfort.

"All right, we're gonna be there in, wait...what did you just put in your mouth?!" Ray gasped when he saw a flash of blue across his screen and he knew just what corn-based snack the man was eating.

"Oh, it's a blue Frittle chip. They're so good." The man replied, making Ray huff like a child. So, he was a blue man?

"Oh, so on Tuesday, you'll be voting blue?" Ray prompted, making Henry and (y/n) look at him weirdly. It wasn't the time for the petty competition, this guy could die.

"Yeah, I guess." He said, quivering as more rocks tumbled from the cliff face.

"Oh, well, I guess you can just save yourself!" Ray hissed and slammed his hand down on the end-call-button, ignoring the man's protests. Well, there was no need for that.

"Are you not gonna help that dude just because he's voting for blue?" (y/n) gasped as Ray sulked and turned his back on her, Henry and Charlotte. The teens were equally disgusted and couldn't believe that Ray's childishness was triumphing over his sense of duty.

"Maybe." He muttered, folding his arms like a scolded child as he took in their hard stares.

"Okay...okay, then we're not gonna help anyone who votes red," Henry spoke for the both of them, making Ray let out a high-pitched squeal as (y/n) snapped her head to look at Henry. She didn't care about the chips, she just wanted to help people.

"Hey, speak for yourself!" She frowned at Henry, who gave her a begging look. He desperately needed her on his side if he was gonna strike out against Ray, but getting her to go against her boyfriend was immensely difficult.

"Whoa! You guys can't stop not helping people because they support a different chip than you." Charlotte chided the man, who wasn't about to take a dressing down from his youthful assistant.

"Really? 'Cause, I'm pretty sure I just did, Charlotte--" The superhero argued back, making (y/n) see red when he got all stroppy.

"Raymond Manchester!" She snapped, uttering his name with fury in her voice. She didn't normally raise her voice like that, not with him and not so angrily, but sometimes, he needed bringing back down with a sharp tongue.

"Oooh, busted," Henry smirked at how pale Ray went and the way he gulped at the young woman's outburst. He hated being on the receiving end of her rage, but he loved seeing her so animated and...hot.

"Our job is to help and protect the citizens of Swellview and that means everybody. No matter what damn chip colour they like. We don't judge and we don't discriminate, both of you should know that." She lectured them, making the smile on Henry's face drop. The boys felt like they were standing in front of their teacher and boy, it was scary.

"I know..." Ray scuffed his sneaker against the tiled floor, sticking out his bottom lip in a pout. He knew she was right and he felt guilty at how he'd gotten so caught up in the stupid chip voting.

"You can't tell us what to do..." Henry mumbled, not liking how he, a fifteen-year-old boy was being told off, even if he was being stupid.

"You wanna say that again?" (y/n) growled at him, stepping forward so she could hear every word that the boy dared to say. Talking back wasn't his brightest idea...

"Nothing." He quickly retracted his protest, standing straighter as the surprisingly intimidating woman looked him up and down. She wasn't the same (y/n) he'd met two years ago, she wouldn't say boo to a goose, but now, she wasn't afraid to speak her mind.

"Henry! (y/n)!" Schwoz shouted as he ran down into the Man Cave again. He must've found Winnie another schpoon.

"What?" Henry asked irritatedly, still feeling the sting of his telling off.

"Someone broke into the Frittle Factory and stole a whole load of Frittle chips!" The little man divulged, making the boys' eyes widen. They hadn't learnt their lesson and (y/n) sighed when the mention of the brand made them stand to attention.

"What colour chip?" Henry whispered, trying not to upset the girls, even though they could hear every word, loud and clear.

"Red," Schwoz answered as he typed away on his cell, making Henry smirk victoriously.

"No!" Ray cried, dreading the thought of the Raging Rhubarb having a disadvantage.

"All right, do I have to lecture you boys again? Charlotte's up for it too." (y/n) questioned and folded her arms as she and the girl crossed their arms.

"No, no, no." Ray and Henry quickly shook their heads, not wanting to be on the receiving end of her anger again. They'd had enough already.

"Good, so you go get that truck and Henry and I will go get that guy off the mountain." She smiled at her boyfriend, thinking it was a good idea to keep Captain 'I'm voting red and nothing else' Man away from the dude, who was a staunch Bodacious Bacon fan.

"Wait, where's my gumball tube?" Ray suddenly asked as Henry and (y/n) took out theirs. They were already chewing the gum, but he was still patting down his pockets.

"Oh, here, I made you a new one." Schwoz smiled sweetly at his boss and offered him the new tube. His smile suggested something sinister, but Ray didn't pick up on it. He was just eager to get dressed and go salvage the red chips. The three blew their bubbles and snapped into their uniforms, only, Ray wasn't in uniform, more like a beautiful white wedding dress.

"What the..." He gasped as he looked down at the flowing gown and Charlotte, Henry, Schwoz and (y/n) couldn't help but giggle.

"Schwoz! What did you do to my balls of gum?!" He growled at the man as the woman and teens laughed. It was pretty funny to see and his exposed chest and arms were not going unappreciated by (y/n).

"That's what you get for putting me in a bucket of oats!" Schwoz replied mirthfully, loving how sweet his revenge was. Karma was a bitch and she had hit Ray hard.

"You know, I always thought I'd be the one wearing the dress." (y/n) giggled, adjusting the strap of Ray's dress like she was his bridesmaid. Oh, she wished she had a camera right now, he was putting her scarlet and azure ensemble to shame.

Ray's cheeks flushed at her teasing, feeling all embarrassed at how she was loving every second of it. But her words weren't lost on him and the thought of her wanting to wear a white dress for him made his heart soar. It wasn't just him then, she wanted to be his forever too. The tender moment was cut devastatingly short though, as Winnie came galloping in and started to laugh or neigh at the hilarious sight of a man in a dress. Her reaction was infuriating for Ray, who didn't mind his girlfriend fawning over him, but Schwoz's sister? Ew, no.

"Oh, shut up." He grumbled, tugging at the white material that was making him look so foolish.

"Horse." (y/n) added on the end, not even bothering to disguise it with a cough or anything. God, that laugh/neigh was annoying and it proved to be too much for Ray to handle. He gathered his skirt and stormed off to the secret door, probably intent on manually putting on his super suit. Life was hard when someone messed with your balls.

~At the Frittle Factory~

"I am not talking to her." (y/n) seethed as Henry told her the bad news. He shuddered at her fury, but Ray was too busy with the factory workers to break it to her, even though he was the only one who could calm her nerves and anger.

"We have to. It's a TV interview!" Henry pleaded with her, trying to get her to come on camera with him. Evelyn Hall, KLVY News reporter and ex-flame of Captain Man, was begging the supers to give her a few words about their involvement with the Frittle Van rescue, but (y/n) didn't want to say anything to her, even if she was just doing her job.

"I don't care if it's a speech to the fucking U.N, Henry, I don't like her." She frowned, screwing her nose up at the thought of all those times she had to endure Ray and Evelyn flirt or kiss or whatever. She knew that her jealousy was unfounded and she trusted her boyfriend, of course she did, but she couldn't help but feel her insecurities rise to the surface. Meaningless or not, Ray had gone out with hundreds of girls, what if he suddenly realised that she wasn't what he thought she was? What if he called everything between them a mistake and reverted to his playboy lifestyle?

"Come on. She's coming over, just let me do the talking..." Henry rushed, dragging her to the camera crew despite her complaining and smiled politely at the pretty woman, although (y/n)'s was anything but polite. More of a sneer than a smile.

"I'm live at the Frittle Factory with Kid Danger and Miss Danger. Tell us how you caught the criminal who stole the Frittle truck." She started immediately, leaving the sidekicks to flounder as they thought of something to say.

"Uhhh...well, actually--" Henry stuttered, ready to admit that Ray had done all the hard work. They'd been on Mount Swellview just ten minutes before and had only arrived to see how Ray was doing. Speak of the devil, Captain Man himself sauntered up to his sidekicks and smirked into the camera, allowing them to give him the perfect introduction.

"Actually, it was Captain Man who did the rescuing of the truck and capturing of the criminal, so..." (y/n) gave Evelyn a half-assed smile, wishing that she was talking to anyone but her right now.

"But you helped." The woman pressed on, making Henry and (y/n) feel pretty awkward. They had literally just arrived on the scene, this was nothing to do with them.

"No, we were actually trying to save another guy, who fell off a mountain." Henry recounted the tale, impressing Miss Hall, who cosied up to the dashing young superhero. Now, wait just a second, had (y/n) missed something?

"Wow, you're the real hero." She flirted with Henry, making Miss Danger do a double-take. Had Evelyn Hall switched targets?

"Well..." Henry blushed, feeling flattered that the pretty reporter was lavishing the praise onto him. He did half the work, (y/n) deserved some recognition too, not that she minded, she was still processing the fact that Evelyn Hall wasn't flirting with her boyfriend.

"Uh, excuse me. Hi, hello." Ray nudged his way into the shot and Evelyn's smile fell. The superhero wasn't so super in her books and he wasn't a hero either, more like another guy who stood her up after promising he'd call her.

"Hi, uh...who are you?" She asked him, not caring that it made her seem like an idiot on national TV. She just wanted to see Captain Man squirm.

"I'm Captain Man, you know that everyone knows me, so..." He gulped at her sarcastic smile, not liking where this was going. He didn't want (y/n) to see this, not when they had been so happy together recently. One word from Evelyn could bring it all crashing down.

"Oh, right. The guy who took me out on two dates and then never called me again." She recalled bitterly, not caring that Kid Danger and Miss Danger were caught in the middle of their argument, the latter swallowing down the lump in her throat. It was never nice to meet the ex and with Ray, that was gonna be a very long line of disgruntled women.

"Do you wanna hear about how I recovered the stolen Frittle truck?" Ray asked her, hoping he could just do the interview and move on before Evelyn convinced (y/n) that he was some lousy jerk, who'd left a trail of broken hearts behind him as he pursued her. Just the sight of her fidgeting fingers was enough to make him nervous, was she thinking the worst already?

"I do not, I don't like being stood up." She smiled at him sweetly, making Ray stutter in panic. They couldn't leave it there, not when it made him look like the world's biggest asshole.

"Yeah, 'cause we all know how you like the reverse, Evelyn." (y/n) retorted, not being able to help the comment that slipped from her lips. She had nothing but disdain for the girl, she knew it was the wrong thing to feel for her, pity or sympathy was probably more apt, but she couldn't help it. It was a long seated grudge and it grew deeper when she made her boyfriend panic.

"B-back to you, Trent." Evelyn snivelled and scurried off in a tetchy mood. Oops, (y/n) had just made an enemy, not that she cared.

"I love you." Ray breathed out to the young woman next to him as she watched Evelyn storm away. He couldn't help it, he didn't know why. Maybe it was born from his panic that she'd leave him for someone with a cleaner slate and this was just his way of trying to hold onto her with the words he'd struggled to tell her for so long. Or maybe he was just in awe of how despite his regretful past, she still hadn't run a mile. Perhaps it was both.

"I know." She smiled at him, letting the phrase wash over her. She was the only one who got to hear those words and it warmed her heart to know that he'd picked her over everyone else.

"Captain Man! Captain Man! Miss Danger and Kid Danger." A short man called out after the superhero's preventing Ray from seizing his girl and kissing her honeyed lips like he wanted to. The guy was wearing an expensive-looking, bespoke suit and it was obvious that the guy was the Frittle CEO, basically the boss or head honcho.

"Hello there." Ray smiled at the important businessman, shaking his hand courteously even though he'd interrupted his moment with (y/n).

"Hi." Henry shook his hand too, trying to stay calm at meeting the face of Frittles. First, Evelyn flirting with him and now, this? It must've been his lucky day.

"Hiya...okaaay then." (y/n) held out her hand for him, thinking that he'd shake it as he'd done to Ray and Henry, but no. To her surprise and Ray's jealousy, he raised her gloved hand to his lips and graciously placed a fleeting kiss to the back of it, like he was bestowing his respect on a regal queen. It was a bit awkward for the young woman and made her look to her friends for help, but she just had to accept it, much to the chagrin of her boyfriend.

"I'm Jack Frittleman, chairman and CEO of Frittle snacks and I wanted to thank you personally for..." Mr Frittleman's gratitude was interrupted when one of his workers whispered something in his ear and handed him a sheet of paper.

"There a problem?" Henry asked the man as he noticed the frown on his face, not that Ray cared. He didn't think it was fair that Frittleman got to kiss his girl before he did, even if it was just a peck on her hand.

"Well, sort of. When the truck was stolen, it had four hundred cases of Raging Red Rhubarb Frittle chips." He read out the report, but the superheroes didn't see the problem.

"So?" Henry questioned as Ray scratched the back of his neck.

"So it seems that two cases of chips are missing. Weird. Wonder what happened to them." The CEO pondered, striking a thought up in (y/n). Huh, she knew someone who'd die for a steady supply of those damn chips...

"Raging Red Rhubarb did you say? Very weird..." She played it off like she had no suspicions, but there were too many correlating factors in it for her. Namely that Captain Man loved the red chips.

"Well, I suppose you'd have to ask the chips." Ray smiled at Mr Frittleman, ignoring how the woman was eyeing him carefully. Nothing to see here, not any stolen chips anyway.

"What's that mean?" The man asked, looking at Ray weirdly.

"Hmm?" Ray gulped, wondering how he was gonna excuse himself out of this one.

"Well, I can't ask the chips 'cause they're missing." Mr Frittleman noted, not seeing the bigger picture as Henry did.

"And even if he could, chips can't talk." The boy added, leaving Ray in a difficult spot to explain himself. Talk about throwing someone under a bus.

"Well, if chips could talk and were here, I'm sure they'd tell us." He replied, confusing everyone listening. He was getting deeper and deeper into the bullshit he was speaking.

"What's he saying?" Mr Frittleman asked his sidekicks, hoping they could shed some light on the superhero's odd choice of words, but they were just as lost as he was.

"Absolutely no clue." (y/n) shook her head, tapping Ray's arm to tell him that it was probably best for them to leave before he said something else weird.

"Bottom line is, you're welcome." The large man shook the chairman's hand again and gave him his most charming smile and turned to leave before a hoard of children came running in.

"Captain Man! Kid Danger! Miss Danger!" The gang screamed, Piper being at the front as she lead the way. The Man Fans were here and they were ready to see their heroes in all their glory, especially since it gave them a chance to see Miss Danger up close. A new addition to the Captain Man team? They'd happily welcome her in.

"Who are these children?" Mr Frittleman asked, feeling slightly startled by so many children bursting into his factory. Health and safety weren't very high on the list by the looks of things.

"Oh, that's my si----" Henry caught himself before he could name Piper as his sister, but his trailing tone made him sound crazy.

"Si---scissors! Has anyone seen my scissors?" He saved it at the end and even if it did sound bizarre, it was a lot better than revealing his secret identity.

"We're the Man Fans!" Piper introduced them proudly and she and Marla whipped out their Man Fan club cards.

"The official Fanclub of Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger!" Marla squealed, barely able to contain her excitement at the sight of Swellview's greatest crimefighters.

"We're verified," Piper added on the end, making (y/n) blush. It was nice to be included and to see so many happy faces, well, it was sweet.

"Hi, guys." Ray smiled at his club warmly, his hand curling around (y/n)'s as he sought out her touch. Did he care that people were watching his every move? No, he wanted the world to know that Captain Man had found his soulmate and he wasn't letting go.

"Hello." (y/n) greeted the kids, who weren't oblivious to how Captain Man and Miss Danger was holding hands. Ooooh, Captain Man and Miss Danger, sitting in a tree...

"Are you guys here to see the launch of the Frittle blimp?" Mr Frittleman asked the group, believing that they'd come across town to see his genius advertising idea.

"No. Kids hate blimps," Marla answered curtly, not caring about a big balloon in the sky, which was what a blimp was to anyone under the age of twenty-five.

"We gotta decide what Frittle to vote for on Tuesday, so we need to know!" Piper smiled at her heroes, who felt a bit put on the spot. What. the Man fans were told, they'd do; it didn't matter about their personal opinion, what their heroes said was the right thing to vote for.

"Need to know what?" Henry looked at the kids blankly, not seeing what they were getting at.

"Which chip Captain Man, Miss. Danger and Kid Danger are voting for." Piper explained, not realising that she was reigniting a burnout argument.

"We're gonna vote for whichever you guys tell us to." Oliver Pook added, making (y/n) stiffen. Did they have to bring that up? It had already blown up once, she didn't want it to happen again.

"Well, if you really wanna know, personally..."

"Well, I'm gonna go with.." Ray and Henry started, but an arm curled around their shoulders and they nervously looked to the side to see. (y/n) smiling at them pleasantly, or was it sinisterly?

"You say anything, I'll break your phone, you say anything and you're sleeping alone tonight." She hissed in their ears before letting them go and pushing them forward a bit. A few light threats always did the trick.

"Look, kids, Captain Man, Miss Danger and I do not get involved in snack politics, so you're just gonna---" Oh, Henry, he was such a good egg. The thing with Ray though, he wasn't and that was a problem. Mainly because he just sussed that he'd follow (y/n) to her bedroom and latch onto her until she gave in. No need for him to slumber in solitude.

"Vote red!" He yelled to the kids, making (y/n) growl and Henry gasp. So, he'd chosen death, not life, a bold choice.

"What?" The boy stuttered and was horrified to see the kids agree on voting for the gross rhubarb. Well, he wasn't having that.

"Kids, you like me. Captain Man says vote for the Raging Red Rhubarb Frittles!" He addressed the group, ignoring Henry's babbling for some sense.

"You're so gonna be eating those damn chips alone, Captain Man." (y/n) muttered, not liking how he was essentially rigging the voting. She thought it would be best for the kids to make their own decision, but no. Ray couldn't let this one go.

"No, you're not supposed to--vote blue!" Henry switched tactics and decided that if Ray was gonna play dirty, then so would he. Screw the moral argument, he wanted to chow down on Bodacious Blue Bacon for the rest of his life.

"Stop it! You can't tell them to vote blue--vote red!" Ray encouraged the children, who were now unsure of what to do. They couldn't vote for both and the way Captain Man and Kid Danger were arguing, it looks like they'd never get through to them.

"Okay, why don't you both just chill? Hmm? Kid Danger, go over there." (y/n) stepped in between her friends and forced Henry to back off. It was like trying to control two kids sometimes.

"You need to calm down." She turned to Ray and gave him her scolding face as she tried to control her stroppy boyfriend.

"Oh, so you're now telling me what I can and can't do like him?" He whined at her, not meaning to upset her, but his sneering voice ruffled her feathers.

"Oh, grow up." She hissed, stepping back from him. If he was going to act like a child then she'd leave him alone to cool off. She wasn't going to be jibed at and it looked like Henry wasn't either.

He'd grabbed one of the company's tube launchers and loaded up a can of blue Frittles. It probably wasn't the best idea to fire a tin of chips at your boss's face in front of a crowd of his adoring fans, but people do dumb things when they're mad.

"Okay..." Ray growled as Henry poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue, not caring about how furious the man looked. Ray went and grabbed the red launcher, making the boy gulp. He was a lot squishier and more vulnerable than Ray, surely this wasn't fair.

"Hey, he's not indestructible, you can't shoot--" (y/n)'s protests didn't matter, this was war and Ray Manchester took no prisoners. He fired a can of Red Frittles into Henry's abdomen, sending the kid to the floor with the forceful impact. Poor Mr Frittleman, he didn't want a brawl in his. factory, so he looked to Miss Danger for help.

"Guys, don't do this." She stood in the middle, but she was fighting a losing battle.

"Oh, he asked for this." Henry seethed and fired another can past (y/n). so it would hit Ray on the temple again. Ouch, that one had to have been painful and the pain was like adding wood to the fire. It made Ray even angrier.

"Okay! Say hello to my Frittle friend!" He quoted Scarface and yet another load of red frittles were sent Henry's way. It was slightly biased for a man as large as Ray to fight a skinny kid like Henry, who didn't have the weight to keep himself on his feet.

"Oh, right in the eye! So, that's how you wanna play?" Henry rubbed the pain away and reloaded his weapon. All (y/n) could do was keep the kids back and hope they didn't hurt each other or someone else.

"That's enough!" Ray told his sidekick, seeing panicked everyone was getting, especially the children, who were distressed to see the superheroes fight.

"Oh, that's enough? Let me just adjust the gauge right here..." Henry sassed Ray and flicked the switch on the side of the barrel. No more playing around, he wanted to finish this, but turning up the firing speed wasn't a good idea. Ray was hit by a can and then another and another until the weapon was firing hundreds of Frittle tubs per minute. Uh-oh, Henry couldn't control it and he looked at the malfunctioning thing in his hands.

"What did you do?" (y/n) shouted at the boy as she stopped Ray from hiding behind Piper and pushed the girl away from Henry's line of fire. For a superhero, he could be so daft sometimes, and if he wanted a human meat shield, he could use her.

"Stop being such a baby, you're indestructible," She rolled her eyes at him, wincing when a rogue can hit her shoulder. She was grateful for her super-regeneration, otherwise, the bruise would have stayed there for weeks. The worst wasn't over though, the catapulted Frittles hit some machinery at the back of the room, causing it to spark uncontrollably and an alarm to go off.

"What's happening?" Mr Frittleman asked his workers as they ran to save the machine, but it was too late. Henry had messed the whole thing up.

"Why's that light flashing?" Ray pointed to the red beacon and pulled (y/n) to his side. Whatever was going on, his gut told him it wasn't good and he wanted her right next to him where he could keep her safe.

"They jammed the system controls! Now, the corn compressors are building up an extreme amount of pressure and...they can't release the corn gas!" Everyone paled at the news. Pressure meant explosion and an explosion was very, very bad.

"Oh, well done, you two. Nice going, you've outdone yourselves this time." (y/n) clapped her companions sarcastically as she guessed that they were heading for a catastrophe and she had to hand it to them. This was their biggest fuck up of the year.

"Attention. This is Jack Frittleman...run!" The CEO announced over the tannoy and no sooner than he did, the crowd bolted for the exits. Ray, (y/n) and Henry herded them all out first, but not before running back to grab a few final cans of their favourite Frittles.

"Oh, sweet cheese, come on! This thing's gonna blow!" (y/n) shrieked at them as she waited in the doorway and the man and boy knew she was right. Forgoing any attempt to salvage the snacks, they legged it through the door and made it out with seconds to spare.

~In Junk-N-Stuff~

Back at the store, the Man Cave team were crowded around Jasper's PearPad as they watched the news report on the Frittle Factory Tragedy.

"And the explosion was felt all throughout Swellview and even some nearby cities, including Neighbourville, Bordertown and Rivalton," Trent reported in his usual prickly manner.

"But luckily, despite the magnitude of the blast, everyone important survived." Mary smiled, her pleasantness coming through the screen. The pair were like chalk and cheese, polar opposites.

"So the real victim is our own City of Swellview because, not only has the red versus blue contest been cancelled, but also CEO, Jack Frittleman, says it's going to take four years to rebuild the factory." The male anchor carried on, disappointing the city with his depressing news.

"Four years? That's a Frittle too long if you ask me." Mary quipped, smiling at her little pun, but like usual, Trent Overrunder wasn't going to let her stay happy for long.

"I wish you'd been in that factory, Mary." His cruel words choked the blonde up and (y/n) frowned as the clip ended.

"What a dick! One of these days I'm going to kick his ass." She scowled, but no one cared about poor Mary as she did. They just wanted to enjoy one more Frittle.

"Dang it. Man, I loved those blue Frittle chips." Henry sighed, missing the snack already and it had only been an hour.

"Me too." Schwoz whimpered, also feeling sad that the contest was kaput. Now, they'd never know which one was Swellview's favourite, well, not for another four years.

"Me three." (y/n) admitted, thinking that since the Frittles were gone, it wouldn't hurt to add in her voice. She liked the blues just as much as they did, even though she hid it well.

"I loved the red ones," Jasper commented, declaring that he, like Ray, preferred the rhubarb in all its artificial sour tang.

"I loved not caring," Charlotte smirked, loving that she was free of sadness or anger since she had been neutral from the start. Who was laughing now?

"Well, Henry, Schwoz, sweet girl...sucks for you guys." Ray walked over and wrapped his arms around (y/n) from behind as she stood in the middle of Henry and Schwoz. She frowned in thought as he rested his chin on top of her head, but after the thrill of the explosion, she couldn't put two and two together.

"What's got you all smiley, Mr Grumpy-Pants?" She asked him, wondering why a guy who'd been whining for days about the red chips was now happy that they were gone.

"Oh, you know, Raging Red Rhubarb Frittles, my love." He smiled down at her and lovingly pressed a clumsy kiss to her cheek, which made her feel embarrassed. None of this was making sense, apart from him being gross with the young woman.

"Yeah, well, that's too bad 'cause they all blew up." Henry reminded him, also finding his boss's cheery mood peculiar. He was way too dramatic to be pleased about this, unless...

"Did they?" Ray looked at the boy with a mischievous expression and untangled himself from (y/n) so he could move freely about the shop floor.

"Yeah, just on the news," Henry confirmed as they all looked at him in bewilderment. Little did they know that Ray had a trick up his sleeve.

"Did they?" He reiterated, adding to the confusion. He loved to build up the suspense, it played into her drama queen persona.

"We just watched it." Jasper frowned, falling into Ray's trap.

"Did we?" He pressed on, irritating (y/n) with his slowness.

"Are you drunk? Just get to the point, Raymond." She groaned, hating how he had to turn everything into The Ray Manchester Show.

"Ray, what do you know?" Henry asked his boss, also getting the feeling that Ray was toying with them and he just wanted to know what his game was.

"I know that when you're a superhero and you recover a stolen truck with four hundred cases of red Frittles inside, it's never a bad idea to snag a couple of cases for yourself." He chuckled at their flabbergasted faces, revealing his devious actions.

"That's stealing." Jasper pointed out, thinking that a superhero should've known better than to make an opportunistic looting just for his own benefit.

"Is it?" Ray shrugged and ignored the fervent yesses from his friends. Of course, it was stealing, but he'd overlook that since it got him a few months supply of Frittles.

"Yeah, all right." He conceded, but he didn't care, not when he knew that he'd be munching through his steal soon.

"Wait, you're saying that you were acting weird at the factory because there's two cases of Frittle Chips here?" (y/n) asked him, not believing that her sweet and goofy Ray would do something so sneaky. It was ingenious but sneaky.

"Yep, 'bout a half-mile down there, in the Man Cave." He smirked, feeling pretty good about himself as Jasper patted him on the shoulder. Looks like the reds won this one.

"Wait, my sister, Winnie, went down to the Man Cave to have a schnack and take a nap." Schwoz gulped as he realised that she'd probably eaten the lot since she literally had the appetite of a horse.

"You little shit, Schwoz!" Ray exclaimed angrily as everyone giggled. Captain Man had been outwitted by a horse lady.

"You know there's gonna be none left." (y/n) chuckled at him as he put his head in his hands and sighed, her hand rubbing his back soothingly.

Looks like no one had won after all.

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kazutora-lover · 2 years

Text

Title: And They Were Roommates

Inui Seishu x fem!reader || Series: —» Part 1

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Genre: fluff, slight angst, humor and again fluff, strangers to friends to -» lovers

Summary: Takemichi and y/n are on an adventure of searching for a new roommate. A certain man with long blonde locks seems to be the only good option. What will happen if fortunate and unfortunate moments merge into each other? May their life blossom in a beautiful light! Would you like to experience this adventure by diving right in?

Warnings: cursing, brief mentions of death (nothing dramatic I promise), dumb jokes lol

Notes: Everyone is in their 20's (except for the ones who are canonically older, like Shin, Waka etc.) & everyone is alive because I said so ~

Word count: 1.3k

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"Hey Takemichi, I'm home!" You informed him, as you trudged though the front door.

Your shared apartment was pitch black and you wondered if he went out with Hina, or if he was asleep already. It was late after all.

Switching on the lights, you took off your coat and your shoes, placing the items in their respective places before making your way into the living room. Nothing, you thought, complete silence. Your friend must've gone out. Good for him, he worked hard these past few days and his colleagues probably cost him a lot of tears and energy.

You decided to order some takeout for the both of you and went to take a quick shower before the food arrived. Takemichi could always reheat his food once he comes back, you didn't want to deal with him complaining in case you didn't order him anything.

It didn't take long and you were seated in front of the TV, enjoying your stress-free Friday evening with delicious foods and a soft blanket draped over your legs while you sank deeper into the comfortable cushions of the sofa.

If only it had stayed that quiet. Approximately 20 minutes later, you heard the sound of someone opening the front door, followed by a few muffled voices.

It was probably only Takemichi who talked to himself, or so you thought. The shocked expression of yours a few seconds later, said something else. He brought chaos. Utter chaos.

"HEEEEEEEY Y/N!! You heard the first person shout upon entering the living room. It wasn't your usually collected roommate and it also wasn't Hina, who was also your friend, no. It was Kazutora who drunkenly made his way over to you with Takemichi right behind him, a sheepish expression adorning his face.

To say you were flabbergasted was an understatement. A second voice ended the trance you seemingly were in "We tried to stop him from drinking too much but we failed miserably". It was Chifuyu who decided to enlighten you on Kazutora's shenanigans.

"This man is a whole damn hazard when he drinks" you retorted, snorting at said man's attempts to steal your food. "That's funny because he seems to evolve into Baji when he's drunk. He almost set Takemichi's hair on fire when he tried to reignite a candle earlier" Chifuyu exclaimed while laughing.

You could see that all three men were drunk but Chifuyu and Takemichi were in a way better condition than Kazutora. It didn't surprise you though, his alcohol tolerance has always been the lowest out of the quartet. Yes, even Baji could hold his alcohol better than the self-proclaimed "tiger", who wasn't as dangerous and wild as he thought he was. Though, they should probably put him on a leash when they go out to grab a drink.

Examining Kazutora once more, you pointed into the direction of the stairs "Put the 'Kitty' to bed in our temporary guest room, he can sober up at our place tonight". Takemichi giggled at your choice of nickname for Kazutora. You're lucky he didn't hear you, he thought, or else Tora would've held a speech by now, explaining why you should take the tiger in him seriously.

The two men struggled their way up the stairs with Kazutora in tow, the latter groaning in annoyance. "Why am I the ounly one whose beung put to schleep right now?" You really couldn't stop your laughter after you heard him say that. Yes, he definitely becomes a second version of Baji when he's drunk. One might think he should know what 'being put to sleep' means, especially since he works in a pet shop.

You had hoped for the commotion to find its end after a few minutes when Chifuyu and Takemichi made their way back to you. And yet they took you by surprise once more when the latter stumbled and missed out a few stairs which almost sent Chifuyu flying.

They entertained you so much, so you decided to 'encourage' Chifuyu a little bit "You almost got free flight lessons sponsored by Drunkymichi, are you sure you don't want to retrain and become a pilot like you wanted to in your childhood days?"

Said man attempted to glare at you but quickly stopped himself when he saw the teasing glint in your eyes. He wasn't in the right state of mind to battle you right now but he will for sure remember to get back at you for making fun of him in such an obvious way.

"By the way, where did Baji go, did you guys ditch him?" You asked, a little bit concerned. Takemichi looked at you as if you had grown a second head until it clicked "Oh, we forgot to tell you, he's staying with his mom for the weekend. She got a cat and he promised to help her with the basics". You nodded at him, feeling relieved. It's not like Baji wasn't able to defend himself or something but he's your friend too so of course you'd worry for him.

And while Takemichi went to heat up his food, Chifuyu felt like it was his turn to ask the questions now as he placed himself next to you on the sofa, greedily stealing a little part of your blanket to warm his own feet.

"How is your hunt for a new roommate going?"

Takemichi and you could only groan in unison, he had hit a sore spot.

"Let's say it like that.. we didn't find someone fitting yet?" explained Michi. "And it's really hard to find someone trustworthy you know? It's also quite difficult to find someone who's willing to pay the respective amount of rent" you added. You guys have a lot of space and your apartment is quite.. pricey to say the least so your worries were definitely justified.

"A few weeks ago, we had someone view the free room and they wanted to bring a whole farm of cockroaches, claiming that they're their pets. It reminded me of Takemichi's old apartment and I got some heavy flashbacks"

Chifuyu threw his head back, cackling at what you just said. "Yeah yeah, make fun of me all you want. Hina punched the living daylights out of me when she found two weeks old banana peels under her bed. I leant my lesson that day.

You couldn't do anything else but gasp "How did they even manage to get under her bed and why didn't she find them earlier?" "Oh well, she was on vacation with her family and asked me to look after the house so I often just chilled in her room and that's how it happened" a defeated sigh escaped Takemichi as he nervously scratched the back of his neck.

Chifuyu nodded in thought, seemingly in his own world until he had an idea "I KNOW SOMEONE!" "Huh?" You and Takemichi exchanged a few confused looks.

"Listen guys, Draken has a coworker who's actually searching for a room! Man, why didn't I think of that earlier..." Fuyu stated exasperatedly. "Draken has a coworker?" You asked in thought "That's not the point right now, but yes. He's also an old friend of mine, we once were in a group called 'Thousand Winters' ".

"Wait a second!" Takemichi tilted his head in confusion, "Is that the one from your pictures with the frown on his face? The one with the bald spot and the cat shirt?"

You looked at Chifuyu, then at Takemichi and then back at Chifuyu "What's his name?"

"His name is Inui. Inui Seishu but his friends usually call him Inupi"

"And for your information" Chifuyu added "Thats not just some cat. It's Baji's, Tora's and my cat, Peke J and he solos!"

"And my gallery would like to add that we know that Peke J is your cat!" You blurted out, sticking your tongue out at him.

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a/n: The first chapter of my new series, yaay! I hope you guys will like it - I'd like to apologize for any grammatical errors, English is not my native language. Have a nice day/night ~

#tokyo revengers #kazutora hanemiya #chifuyu matsuno #baji keisuke #takemichi hanagaki #inui seishu #kokonoi hajime #draken ryuguji #tokyo revengers x reader #inui seishu x reader #inui x reader #kazutora-lover

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