#but y'all insisted so here it is

[fratboykate]

Man, can you imagine the adorable horror-show/perfection of the whole wedding? Because OBVIOUSLY 90% of it is going to be perfect, but 10% is going to be all of Kate’s old FB buds there to celebrate AND relive the glory days. Never mind whatever happened with Kate’s family (who are homophobes and don’t want to be seen at a lesbian wedding BUT ALSO don’t want to be publicly SEEN as being that homophobic). I have my fingers crossed that Melina punches Derek out.

"Go over it with me again..."

Yelena rests her shoulder against the bathroom door while she brushes her teeth.

"Babe, I got it. We don't need to go over it again."

"Yeah, I heard that before you guys went away for...what do you guys call Tyler again?"

"Master Blaster..."

"Right. That should've been my first warning sign..." Yelena turns around to spit and rinse her mouth. "...that you shouldn't have gone to that Bachelor weekend." Yelena dries her face, shuts the light off, crawls into bed, straddles Kate, and wraps her arms around her neck. "Humor me and go over it with me again."

"No more than thirty-six beers in twenty-four hours. Need to remember that I can't do gin anymore or I end up throwing up on power hose mode like I'm reenacting that scene from The Exorcist."

Yelena grimaces at the mental picture and speaks sarcastically as Kate continues to list things.

"Definitely marrying you for your way with words."

"No hard drugs. What else...OH! Go to the bank and make sure I have enough cash so we can tip the strippers well."

"Fairly certain I didn't say the last one." Kate cracks a smile. "But I'm glad you're thinking about properly compensating the hardworking entertainment you guys are procuring. I'm not going to pretend I didn't know that was going to happen. I know your friends. Just please be respectful...of them and me. That's the only thing I'm asking for on that front."

"Hey. I don't know what they're planning and...yeah, I'm sure it includes...entertainment...but if you say the word, I'll call them right now and cancel the whole thing. That's not what this weekend is about."

"No. I'm not going to get branded as the lame wife before the ring is even on my finger. Besides, you get one last free and sanctioned night of seeing other naked women in your life. After that, it's just me until you die, so...enjoy it. Respectfully. Now, you weren't done with the list. Keep going."

"I don't remember what I said anymore."

"Beer cap, no gin, no hard drugs...and.........you're missing a few things but absolutely the biggest one..."

Kate begrudgingly parrots back Yelena's talking point.

"...and definitely definitely DEFINITELY nothing that will lead to any facial injuries and/or broken bones that might ruin the wedding pictures."

"No injuries. At all. Please, Kate. The fact that you've come back from TWO different pre-wedding weekends all banged up and they weren't even yours is the reason we're even having this conversation. Please don't make me wrap you up before you leave tomorrow. The stitches call last time was bad enough."

"I will be on my best behavior." Yelena arches her right eyebrow. "Okay, I won't, but I will at least promise you I won't come back all sorts of fucked up..."

"I'm holding you to that."

---

It was a surprise to no one with a shred of common sense when Kate walked into her apartment with puppy dog eyes and her left arm hidden behind her back.

It took Yelena TWO seconds flat to clock it. And she was like "JFKEJFKEMFOEKFJWNF KATHERINE ELIZABETH BISHOP THE FUCKETY FUCKING FUCK DID YOU DO SHOW MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

Kate sprained her wrist and broke her pinky and ring finger on her left hand...THE HAND WHERE YELENA NEEDS TO PUT A RING ON AT THE WEDDING.

Kate’s hand is currently on nothing more than a sling and splint, but that’s solely because she insisted no more extensive intervention happen. Doctors wanted to put her arm in a cast given the seriousness of the sprain plus the two broken fingers, but, even as drunk as she was, Kate resisted the mere suggestion. She was like "LISTEN...you don't understand...if I walk into my house with a cast, my fiancée will HANG me, and whatever further damage you're trying to prevent here will be pointless anyway. NO CAST."

---

Yelena doesn't talk to Kate for three days. Nothing. COLD. Mind you, these are three days LEADING UP TO THE WEDDING. It's absolute bedlam around them and Kate gets jack shit. Only the silent treatment. She'll get like twenty texts a day from Alexei that go along the lines of: "Yelena is asking me to ask you..." or "Yelena says you have to be...". Worth noting........KATE CAN'T EVEN TEXT PROPERLY WITH HER JACKED HAND lol. It's all a clusterfuck.

---

Yelena doesn't talk to Kate until she walks into the apartment and finds poor, one-handed Kate struggling to open a jar in the kitchen. Yelena stomps over, opens the jar for her fiancée, then shoves it back into Kate's good hand.

"The week before the wedding. Seriously, Kate."

"I'm sor..."

"I don't want to hear it. I asked you for one thing, Kate. One thing." Yelena turns and leaves. She then stops and turns when she remembers. "By the way, your dad's office called. He and his girlfriend RSVP'd for the wedding today. I'm sure he told your sister, and your sister told your mom because then your mom called me, and they're all coming too. Glad I decided to save those seats, I guess. They're going to show up and see your lovely handy work there. Good job, Bishop. Can't wait to hear you explain that one and see how your father manages to twist it into you being a failure because you're marrying me and I happen to have a vagina. Very much looking forward to being your family's punching bag at my own wedding."

Yelena storms off. Kate hears the bedroom door slam shut, then hangs her head and mumbles.

"Shit."

---

For the next forty-six minutes, Kate stands in that exact spot. During most of that time, she listens to Yelena answer phone calls from the wedding planner, vendors, Melina, or her friends. All about the wedding.

Kate hears Yelena end a particularly frustrating call with the planner about an issue with one of the rental houses. She decides to head to the bedroom where Yelena is currently holed up behind closed doors.

Kate opens the door and Yelena glares at her. They know each other well enough that Yelena can read Kate's face by now. She knows Kate walked in intending to talk, but with the afternoon she's having, Yelena is all talked out. Yelena wants no more Big Conversations today. She doesn't want anyone talking to her at all, actually. Her plans are to crack a bottle of wine open, draw a bath, and go to bed. Nothing else.

"It's not going to go well, so leave."

"No."

"Katherine...you've never been good at listening to what I'm trying to tell you, but right now, I'm halfway to canceling this entire fucking wedding, so leave me alone tonight. Do what I'm asking you one time for a change."

Yelena turns her back to Kate and makes for the bathroom to start filling the tub.

"I'm going to ask my parents not to come."

Yelena comes to a grinding halt and whips her head towards Kate.

"What...?!"

"They're not coming."

"Are you out of your mind? Did you also bang your head when you were fucking up your hand?"

"The wedding is about you and us, not them. I'm not having them show up and ruin it."

"Leave. Please leave the room."

"I'm calling them and telling them not to come."

Kate turns and starts to leave.

"If you do that, the wedding is off."

Kate turns on her heels immediately and stares at Yelena.

"The fuck? Why would you say that?"

"Your family calls to RSVP to the wedding and a few hours later, you call them to uninvite them? Who do you think they're going to blame for that, Kate? Me. They're going to blame me. We sent them invitations, they RSVP'd, they're coming."

"We sent them invitations because I didn't know you felt like this."

"FELT LIKE WHAT?!"

"Like they hate you."

"Did you need the Times to print an Op-Ed about it? Your dad looks at me like he wishes I'd fall into a vat of acid and disappear. They think I ruined your life. I don't 'feel' like anything. That's merely a fact, Kate."

"You didn't ruin my life. You're the best, sexiest, smartest, occasionally funniest thing - but only sometimes...everyone knows I'm the funny one of the two. You're my highlight, and if they can't see that, then they don't need to be there. Seriously, who gets this lucky?! You're smart as hell AND have the looks of a trophy wife??? I hit the Babe Jackpot!”

Yelena is angry enough that she WANTS to keep arguing, but it's kind of hard to find a way to argue with...that.

"It's impressive how you always get SO CLOSE to saying the sweetest, most perfect things and then right at the last second careen right off the road into 'absolutely not' land."

"I think it's probably some faulty DNA strand or something. You should check it out. Make sure I don't pass it down to the kids."

"I should probably get on that. I can't handle more than one of you. It'd send me to an early grave. Or even earlier, I should say. You've shaved years off my life already." They hover in place. "They're coming...your family. They're coming. There's too much shit going on as it is. I can't deal with the drama you calling them would cause. We invited them, they agreed, we deal with it."

"We don't have to. It's OUR wedding."

"Exactly. I want to enjoy it, and if there's chaos and noise happening with them in the background, I won't be able to. I'd rather have them there drinking and eating than angry and causing problems elsewhere."

"But..."

"Can you do as I say? ONE TIME?" Kate nods. "Thank you."

Yelena moves towards the bathroom again. She hasn't forgotten her main task of the night: a bath. She runs the water and starts to fill the tub. She walks out of the bathroom, already removing her sweater. She steps into the walk-in closet with the intention of looking for a set of comfortable pajamas but backtracks and hovers under the doorway in just her bra and skin-tight skirt.

"How's your hand?"

Kate smiles faintly and holds her sling up.

"This thing? Never better. Good as new."

"I'm being serious, Kate."

"Hurts."

"Have you been taking your meds on schedule?" The pause is too long and Yelena can deduce the answer. "Oh, for fuck's sake, Kate. No wonder it hurts. How often are you supposed to be taking your pills?"

"I don't know. A few times a day, I think?"

Yelena sighs.

"Where's the bottle? I should've known......" Kate grabs the two prescriptions she got from the dresser and extends them. Yelena reads the labels. "You need to be taking one of these every four hours and two of these every eight hours. I have seen you take them zero times. Go. Take them right now." Kate doesn't move and mumbles something that Yelena can't understand instead. "What??? Katherine, stop being a baby and go take your meds."

Kate sighs.

"I can't open the bottles with one hand. They're twist caps and you've been mad at me..."

"You haven't taken them because............." Yelena grabs the bottles, twists the caps off and tips the pills out onto the dresser. "Sometimes I think God doesn't exist but then I remember that it has to be some sort of divine intervention that I haven't strangled you yet and the thought leaves my mind."

Yelena closes the pill bottles and heads back to the closet. She desperately needs that bath.

---

Kate is tucked in the guest bedroom's bed. It's where she's slept since the whole hand thing went down. She's scrolling through her phone or at least making a clunky attempt at it with her jacked-up hand. She's still trying to get used to this.

The door opens and Yelena flops from the door onto the bed and giggles. One look at her fiancée and Kate can deduce her state.

"You're drunk, aren't you?"

Kate chuckles

"Uhum."

Yelena nods while clumsily crawling her way up the bed and laying flat on her back because anything else feels like too much effort. She forcefully YANKS Kate by the collar, forcing her to come hover above her so they can be looking at each other while they speak. Kate flops down like a leaf and nothing but a small 'oh' escapes her lips.

"I always forget how Hulky you get when you're drunk. How much wine did you have?"

"Two."

"Two glasses?"

"Bottles."

Kate chuckles.

"Let the record state that I didn't see you consume these bottles, so tomorrow I can't be asked any of the 'why did you let me do this?' and 'why didn't you stop me?' type of questions."

"Nope. No questions."

Yelena jerks Kate down again, a little too violently for how close they are now, and their faces smash together.

"Ow, Yel!" Kate rubs her forehead. "The hell was that for? You don't want ruined wedding pictures, but you headbutt me?"

"No. Just trying to make out with you."

"Banging skulls is NOT how you do that."

"Shhh...c'mehere."

Yelena wraps her hands around Kate's neck and pulls her down towards her lips for what starts like a sloppy, drunk make-out. Under Kate's guidance, it's been redirected into a soft, slow, tender kiss within a minute.

They eventually come up for air and Yelena scans Kate's face adoringly, with no trace of anger in this version of her.

"We're getting married on Saturday."

"I know. I'm very fucking excited about it."

"Yeah?"

"You have no idea. Been wanting to lock it down since that first night."

"Since the first night you met me?"

"Nah...first night I saw your boobs. They sold me on it."

Yelena playfully shoves her face away.

"You're gross."

"You were wearing a white shirt and it had like green edges and a flower pattern."

"What?"

"That first night, when I banged my head on your door...your shirt was kind of off-white with...I don't know what to call them edges...they were green and the pattern was kind of big leafy flowers. I've never seen that shirt ever again, but you were wearing it that night."

"We talked for maybe two minutes. How do you remember what I was wearing?"

"You were barefoot and you were wearing the black fuzzy sweats you used to own. Your hair was in a braid and I also remember thinking you smelled SO FUCKING GOOD."

"It was a Friday. I had an 8 AM, so I probably showered in the morning and it was around midnight. There's no way I smelled like anything."

"You smelled SO good."

"You were delusional."

"No, I promise. I can remember thinking it so well."

"So you basically decided you wanted to marry me after talking to me, smelling me, and looking at my feet for two minutes?"

"In a much less creepy way...yeah...I think so. I don't think I knew I was going to MARRY you. Back then, that's not a thing I believed in, but I knew there was something about you that I needed more of in my life. I just didn't know why. I would hope me chasing you around campus forever would've given that away."

"You really were annoying."

"But I was right, wasn't I?!"

"Uhum!"

"So...yeah...I'm fucking pumped I get to marry you and I'm really sorry that you haven't been as excited about it the last few days because I'm a fuckwad and don't think things through sometimes. I was googling and I can definitely take this off for pictures. I just can't move my hand a lot. It's just a couple hours tops. All I need to do is tape my fingers together, but it should be way easier to hide, or they can even Photoshop the tape out. And I think I can take it all off when you need to put the ring on. I promise I won't cry if it hurts and if I do, people will think it's cuz I'm emotional."

Yelena laughs.

"I'm not putting a ring on your broken finger, you idiot."

"It's our wedding. You can't not put a ring on my finger. That's...kinda the whole point."

"I'll put it on your right ring finger for now. Until your hand heals."

"But that's not where it goes."

Kate sounds dejected.

"Yeah...well, you should've broken the other hand then. Even better, you should've broken no hand at all."

"I didn't break MY HAND."

"Y'know what I meant, Kate...Let's stop talking about the broken hand. I don't wanna get mad again. It's why I got drunk to begin with."

"It's not a broken hand..."

"KATE!"

"I think facts matter! It's a sprained wrist and two broken fingers."

"You're this close to talking yourself out of getting laid tonight."

"Well, I didn't know that was even on the table. You should've mentioned that."

Kate smirks playfully.

"Y'know...I'm also VERY mad that you ruined the honeymoon with this." Yelena taps Kate's splint. "I was planning on having so much crazy, newlywed, honeymoon sex with you. You should see the things I bought to wear. All going to waste now."

"Who says it's going to waste?!"

"You can't move your hand!"

"It's not my good hand!"

"Ruins the fun. I don't wanna feel this touching me while I'm naked. It's all scratchy and weird."

"So what, we're gonna read the newspaper for a month?"

"MAYBE. And that's your fault."

"You literally just said I was going to get laid tonight. How is me getting laid in New York any different from me getting laid in Tahiti or Bora Bora or The Maldives or Singapore?"

"I changed my mind. No sex at all. Not even tonight."

Kate throws the covers off herself, hops off the bed, and ungracefully takes her pajamas off. She's now fully naked. She then crawls back on the bed but doesn't get under the covers. She casually turns her back to Yelena, reaches over to flick the lamp on the nightstand off, and fluffs up her pillow.

"Good night. Sleep well. Love you. Have water, so you're not totally miserable tomorrow." Kate waits. Not even thirty seconds pass before she feels Yelena's hand on her shoulder, pulling her towards her, and forcing Kate on her back. Yelena straddles a naked Kate and her lips are on Kate's neck almost instantly. "Yeah. I thought so."

---

Wedding day.

Glenmere Mansion. About fifty miles outside the city. They've bought out the whole thing since Friday morning, so they had the rehearsal dinner here Friday night and the bridal party/most important guests slept here in anticipation of the Saturday wedding. They will also be sleeping here on Saturday and everyone is leaving on Sunday.

Thirty minutes before they're set to walk down the aisle.

Kate is already in her spiffy suit. Now she's just pacing the room all anxious and nursing a drink, trying to calm her nerves while obsessively running her vows in her head.

A knock on the door pulls her out of it. It's Yelena's Maid Of Honor with the strangest request. Yelena is in the courtyard downstairs and she wants to see Kate. Kate is like "?????? 1) Am I about to get dumped on my wedding day? 2) Isn't it bad fucking luck to see the bride before the wedding???” But the friend is like "Listen, she insisted. Come." So Kate follows her and then the Maid Of Honor leaves her right when they're about to get to Yelena.

"Yel?"

"Turn around!"

"What?"

"Turn around! Turn around! You're not supposed to see me!"

"How am I going to know where I'm going if I'm walking backward?"

"Just do it."

Kate sighs and starts walking backward until she bumps into Yelena. Yelena immediately holds her hand.

"Your hands are cold."

"Yeah. That's because I'm freaking out, Kate."

Kate chuckles.

"Why are you freaking out?"

"I sent someone to go check and your family is here. They're sitting downstairs. They're...here. At our wedding."

"We invited them."

"I know that! But what if...what if your dad...I don't know...what if he stands up and stops it or something?"

Kate cackles.

"He's not gonna do that."

"But what if?"

"Then your dad will probably sock him in the face and we'll carry on."

"What if they talk you out of it?"

"Huh?! Where would you even get that from?"

"I don't know! Freaking out!"

"I'm turning around now."

"DON'T DO THAT!"

"I'm gonna turn around."

"KATE BISHOP! DON'T YOU DARE!"

Kate turns around and Yelena can hear her gasp. She huffs and turns around too. The moment she sees the tears in Kate's eyes, Yelena starts crying too.

"I hate you! Why don't you ever listen to me?! This is bad luck, Kate!"

Kate closes the distance and says nothing before she kisses Yelena.

"There's literally nothing that can happen that will stop me from marrying you today." Kate kisses her again. "Maybe the apocalypse, but even then, I'd tell her to jump to the 'I do' part and we could figure out the end of the world together as wives." Kate kisses her one more time. "Stop freaking out." Kate takes a step back so she can take in Yelena completely and tears fall freely. "Holy shit! You're so fucking hot. Damn. I don't care what anyone says...I'm the luckiest person. No one else."

"I'm hoping your vows are better than 'You're so fucking hot'."

"Only by a little." They both laugh. "I can still ask them to leave. I don't care. If it's going to ruin it for you, then I don't want them here."

Yelena shakes her head and closes the distance between them. She kisses Kate's lips softly then wipes the faint lipstick stain she left behind.

"No. It's fine. You made it better."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Should we go get married then?"

"Let's get married, Mrs. Belova."

"That's not...no. It's Mrs. Bishop. We already talked about this?"

"Sure. Okay, Belova."

"Kate Belova does NOT work, but Yelena Bishop does. We had this entire conversation!"

Yelena kisses Kate one last time before turning around and walking away."

"See you soon, Kate Belova."

"Nope. Doesn't work! Doesn't flow! Yelena Bishop!" Yelena turns a corner and disappears. "Katherine Belova...eurgh."

Kate frowns and shakes her head before walking in the opposite direction and heading back to her room.

---

Luckily for Kate, Yelena was fucking with her. That is one of the few battles in their marriage that she does win.

When they walk into the reception two hours later, after the ceremony is done and pictures are taken (she took her splint off and just taped her fingers because she's a good wife who won't ruin the once-in-a-lifetime photoshoot), they are indeed introduced as Mrs. & Mrs. Bishop.

---

They don't do one first dance. Kate suggested they surprise each other with a song so they'd have two back-to-back dances. Yelena had a feeling this would be a disaster, and she wasn't wrong, but she still did it anyway.

Yelena decides on something slow, romantic, and hella heartfelt. She went with Jon McLaughlin's "Speechless". Kate picks.........Sam Hunt's fucking "Body Like A Back Road".

Yelena is like "......no you didn't......" and Kate is like ""Braids in her hair"? "Took me like six weeks to get her number"? Has a sexy ass body? It's pretty accurate!" Lol.

---

Then comes the father/daughter dances. Alexei and Yelena are perfect and touching. Derek and Kate are...well...

The two of them didn't have anything planned outright. Derek didn't decide he was coming until the last minute and it's not like they have the best relationship anyway, so they don't exactly have much to go on. But they did dance to Paul Simon's "Father & Daughter" at Kate's Sweet Sixteen, so she was like, "Let's just do that again???"

Kate and Derek get up and the song starts. They don't say anything for the first thirty seconds and then Derek speaks.

"You could've at least worn a dress if you were going to do something like this."

"Dad...seriously..."

"You're already playing the part of a man. You don't have to look like one too."

"I'm not doing this with you today."

"I don't think expecting to see my daughter in a wedding dress is unreasonable."

"I don't think expecting my dad to at least congratulate me on my wedding day is unreasonable either, yet here we are. Both of us lose."

"I won't congratulate anyone on a mistake."

Kate leans back from the hold position she was in to stare directly at him.

"Why did you come then? Why are you here?"

"I thought I'd raised you better than this. I still hoped you'd come to your senses. I wanted to be here for support when you did."

"You don't know me at all."

Without making any more of a fuss, Kate leaves Derek standing on the dance floor and heads for the door.

Yelena, who had been having a quiet conversation with Melina, immediately turns. After half a second, she goes after Kate.

Derek tries to play off the embarrassment and returns to his seat.

---

Yelena finds Kate standing perfectly still with her one good hand in her pocket by the edge of the fountain that splashes at the center of the expansive garden.

"Hey..." Yelena cups her now wife's face with both her hands and gently tips it down to look at her. "Hey. How hard do you need my dad to hit him?"

Kate faintly laughs.

"How hard do you think it will need to be to knock the stupid out of him?"

"Hard to gauge. We can tell him to try a few times?"

Yelena wraps her arms around Kate and presses her head into the taller woman's chest. Kate pulls her close and runs her hands up and down her back.

"That might work."

"You okay?"

"Better now." Kate kisses the top of Yelena's head. "I used to worship him. When I was little...he seemed larger than life...I used to worship him. Couldn't wait to be just like him. It's sad how small he looks now."

"I'm sorry you don't have that anymore."

"It's scary because everyone always said how alike we were. I'm terrified I'll eventually turn into him. Promise me you won't let that happen."

Yelena leans back to look at Kate.

"You are NOTHING like him."

"I'm a lot like him."

"Maybe. I haven't spent enough time with him to know about the good parts, but I know for a fact you don't have any of the awful parts. And if they EVER were to start showing up, I'm right here to kick your ass."

"Good."

"You know I will."

"Zero doubt."

"And..."

Eleanor steps out into the garden.

"Katherine."

"Mother."

"Yelena."

"Eleanor."

The three of them fall into awkward silence.

"What you did to your father in there...Katherine, that was..."

"Oh my god, mom! You and dad have spent my entire life at each other's throats and you're going to pick my wedding day to be on the same side?"

"It was humiliating for him, for you, and for our family."

"Who cares? Who fucking cares?! Maybe he shouldn't be an asshole."

"Eleanor..."

"This is none of your concern, Yelena. This is a family matter. Stay out of it."

Kate steps in front of Yelena and closer to Eleanor.

"Talk to me however you want but watch yourself when you talk to my wife, mom. I won't put up with you disrespecting her."

"Who is this person? I don't recognize you. You were so sweet, respectful, and well-mannered until..."

"Until what? Until what exactly?"

"You know what."

"Right."

Kate pauses for a long second.

"I need you to leave, mom. Suze and DJ are staying. I'll make sure they have a room tonight and a ride home tomorrow, but you need to go. Go inside, grab your stuff, and head out."

"If I go, Susan will come with me."

Kate takes another step closer to Eleanor. Yelena gently squeezes her wife's arm. She knows Kate's little sister is her trigger.

"Suze is staying."

"No."

Eleanor walks away. Kate sees red and is about to chase her mother, but Yelena stops her and pulls her back.

"Let me handle it! Let me talk to her. Go back inside. Get a drink and hang out with your friends. I'll be right there." Yelena kisses her. "I love you. Let me handle it."

Yelena whispers against Kate’s lips. Kate nods once in response and they go in separate directions.

---

"Eleanor."

"If she sent you to retract herself, it's too late."

Eleanor keeps walking through the gardens and Yelena is after her. It's a good thing she changed into a dress without a train for the reception.

"She didn't send me. Hey...hey." Yelena cuts her off. "I want two minutes with you."

"I'm not interested."

Eleanor tries to bypass Yelena, but Yelena steps in front of her again and this time, her body language makes it clear to Eleanor that she doesn't have much of a choice.

"I see where Katherine has been picking up her bad habits."

"Kate's not around, so let's put it all out there because I'm not into hypocrisy and fake niceness. You've made it very clear that you don't like me and, frankly, I'm not a fan of you. I'll never disrespect you because you're Kate's mother, but I hate the way you treat her. That being said, as far as I'm concerned, despite everything, you're family now, and for my wife's sake, I want peace. Hate me and what I am all you want but don't punish Kate for it. You know what Susan means to her. It's cruel and unfair to keep them from each other because of your feelings. Gay people exist, Eleanor. You keeping Kate from Suze doesn't change it. She is out in the world. She's online. She's already aware. I'm not forcing myself on you. I'm only asking you not to make Kate jump through hoops to see her sister. You're their mother, be better than that. Let them see each other whenever they want without having to sneak around. Let her stay. It might not mean much to you, but I'll personally make sure she has a ride home and will get back to you safely. It would mean the world to Kate to have her here tonight. You're not doing it for me. Can she stay?"

Eleanor stands in silence for a long beat.

"We go to service at noon."

"I will have her home no later than eleven." They awkwardly linger. "I simply want us to be civil at the very least. Kate and I want a family and I'd hate for our kids to grow up in a toxic environment. Don't contribute to that. I would want nothing more than for you to be a part of their lives, but I won't allow it if there's going to be bullshit flying around. I won't."

"I don't like threats, Miss Belova."

"It's Mrs. Bishop now and I'm not threatening you, Eleanor. I'm telling you that I will protect my children the way you think you're protecting yours. They're two very different things." Silence. "Can we agree on civility then? For Kate's sake."

"Good evening, Miss Belova."

Eleanor walks away. A frustrated Yelena takes a centering breath and exhales loudly before walking moments behind her. Within seconds she passes Eleanor on the way to the entrance.

"It's Mrs. Bishop."

Yelena keeps walking.

---

When Yelena enters the venue, she finds Kate sitting in Eleanor's chair, between her sister and her brother. She's nursing a drink and laughing at something Suze said. Kate immediately spots Yelena when she walks in and stands, but Yelena is heading her way.

A few people try to stop her and congratulate her and Yelena politely excuses herself as quickly as she can. During that time, Eleanor also walks back into the room. Now they're both unofficially racing to reach Kate first. Much to Yelena's chagrin, Eleanor reaches her a few seconds before she does and starts collecting her things from the table. Kate's eyes are flying back and forth between her mother and Yelena, who is still a few steps behind.

"Your sister and brother are staying." Yelena finally arrives and stands next to Kate. Kate immediately wraps her arms around her wife's waist. Eleanor finishes hastily collecting her things. "Miss Belova promised to have them home by eleven, so we can make the noon service."

Yelena clenches her jaw at the sound of her maiden name but bites her tongue.

"Yeah. We can do that."

"If we stay, where are we sleeping?"

Susan jumps in to ask.

"I got it. Don't worry." Kate chimes in and turns her attention back to her mother. "Thank you. It means a lot."

Eleanor turns on a fake act.

"I want you to know that I sat her down and had a really long conversation about how important it is to me that we're civil and that she doesn't contribute to any toxicity between us. She agreed, didn't you, Miss Belova?"

Yelena could knock this woman out cold right now.

"Uhum."

"That's amazing. Thank you, mom."

"Of course, sweetheart." Eleanor kisses Kate's cheek. "I'm exhausted, so I'm going to head out."

"Absolutely. Thank you for coming. Have a good night."

Eleanor says goodbye to Susan and DJ and heads out. Kate immediately hugs Yelena,  kisses the side of her head, and whispers into her ear.

"Thank you." Kate leans back to look at Yelena. "And don't worry, I know how my mom works. I have no doubt in my mind that conversation she's taking credit for actually happened the other way around." Kate kisses her. "You're fucking amazing."

"I almost killed her two seconds ago."

Kate laughs.

"She pretended she was leaving because she was tired, not because I asked her to leave. She twists everything in her favor. You'll get used to it."

"We're in for a ride, aren't we?"

"Crazy as fuck."

Yelena looks around the room, trying to spot Derek and figure out how to deal with him next.

"Where's your dad?"

"I asked him to leave too. Thankfully he's a lot less dramatic than my mom, so he simply grabbed generic girlfriend number five hundred and seventeen and was gone. I don't know that I'll be hearing from him soon...or again."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine...nothing I'm gonna worry about tonight. We have a party to enjoy, no? I have so many more bones I can break."

"I will tie you to a chair if you make me. No more injuries before the honeymoon..."

Kate laughs.

"I make no promises."

Kate jokingly answers. Yelena takes the drink from Kate's hand and finishes it herself in one gulp.

"Cutting you off."

"Nooooo."

"Uhum. No more for you."

One of Kate's friends is walking by with a beer and Kate grabs it from his hand. She playfully extends her arm and lifts her chin all the way back, putting the bottle entirely out of reach from her wife. She chugs the remainder of the bottle.

"Whoops."

Kate shrugs.

Having seen this and getting high school flashbacks, her friends start chanting.

"KEG KATE! KEG KATE! KEG KATE! KEG KATE! KEG KATE! KEG KATE!"

One of them rushes to the bar and asks the bartender if they have kegs or just bottles. It turns out they do have kegs.

Suddenly, a keg is flying onto the dance floor and a dozen dudes are hoisting Kate in the air. Yelena is giving her "Don't you dare eyes!" but Kate shrugs and smiles two seconds before the guys tip her over into a keg stand. Kate's half of the party cheers. Yelena's half of the party looks on mildly horrified.

Kate chugs for an impressively long time before she coughs and they let her stand.

"SHE'S STILL GOT IT, BOYS!"

Kate is jerked around in celebration. One of the guys tries to take the keg back, but someone screams.

"Leave it! Leave it! Keg Kate doesn't do just one keg stand in a night!"

The friends around her start to talk over each other.

"We should've brought pong balls!"

"I got golf balls in my trunk! Might as well bring back Beer Pong Bishop too."

"That might work!"

"I'll get 'em."

And the dude runs out. Yelena cuts through them and pulls Kate aside.

"You're not about to turn our wedding into a high school or college party."

"It's just a little fun."

"I've seen how you all have fun."

Kate stares at Yelena curiously and squints when a thought occurs to her.

"You've never done a keg stand, have you?"

"Katherine..."

"Hey, guys...can you believe Keg Kate's wife has never done a keg stand..."

In a second, Kate’s friends all swarm Yelena, and before she knows it, she's in the air.

"KATE!"

Yelena is upside down on the keg and Kate squats to hold the hose and look at her. She has a smile painted on her face.

"The moment they put me down, you're dead."

"Are you really down to be a young widow?"

"YES!"

Kate puts the hose to Yelena's lips and begins the chant.

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

Yelena drinks and then releases the hose. Beer goes everywhere before Kate shuts it off. The guys put her back on her feet. Yelena punches Kate's shoulder.

"Ow! You're not even drunk yet. Where's the aggro Hulky coming from?!"

Kate dries the beer that spilled on Yelena's face with her sleeve.

"If you ever let your friends put me upside down again, you're permanently moving to the guest bedroom."

"That was fun. Admit it." Yelena glares at Kate. "You kinda loved it...you did!"

"I didn't HATE it."

Kate grabs her face and kisses her.

"YOOOO...she wants another spin on the keg!"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I SA..."

Yelena is upside down again. Kate squats again and holds the hose to her lips.

"I hate you with every fiber of my being right now."

"You really don't. Take a deeper breath so you can go longer." Kate lifts her arm so Yelena can hold it. "Squeeze when you want me to stop. CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" Yelena squeezes Kate's arm and Kate removes the hose. "Put her down."

The guys flip her back onto her feet. Yelena punches Kate's shoulder again. Kate rubs it.

"You're going to break my shoulder next!...Wanna go for another spin?"

"Only if you want to leave here on a stretcher."

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

Kate and Yelena turn around to see Alexei being held upside down with the hose in his mouth. Yelena punches Kate's shoulder anew.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

"My dad?! Doing a keg stand?! At our wedding?! That is your fault."

Kate flips Yelena around so they can both turn to face the keg and presses the shorter woman against her chest while wrapping her arms around her waist. She brings her lips to her ear.

"You love that I bring a little chaos to your life."

Yelena leans her head back to look up at Kate and smiles.

"I do."

Kate leans to meet Yelena's lips to kiss her.

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

When they look up to figure out who the hell could be at the keg right now, they find Melina upside down and Alexei holding her by himself.

"KATE!"

---

"KATE!"

Kate hears Yelena scream from the kitchen.

"FIVE SECONDS! Your mommy is so impatient."

"Papiem."

"Exactly. Always rushing us. Always"

The almost two-and-a-half-year-old blonde girl with bright green eyes and features that mimic Yelena's babbles in response from where she sits on the changing table. Kate stuffs the last few things in her bag and zips it up.

Kate taps the tiny snapback on Alexia’s small head with a silly popping sound, then pokes her index fingers into her pudgy sides, making the little girl devolve into a fit of giggles. Kate slings the bag over her neck, then grabs the toddler and perches her on her shoulders. The baby places her tiny hands around Kate's head, keeping herself in place. Kate holds her hand against the little girl's back for an extra layer of safety.

"You ready?"

"YAH!"

Kate zooms full speed out of the nursery. The baby laughs at the top of her lungs and it echoes through the apartment.

---

The two girls reach the kitchen, run around the island, and then do a lightning-fast lap around Yelena. The older blonde sighs as she does her best to avoid them while getting the last few things she needs to complete in the kitchen.

Kate and the baby eventually stop by the doorway and that's when Yelena turns to face them.

"Absolutely not."

Yelena, now almost five months into their third pregnancy, takes one good look at Kate and their daughter and shakes her head. They're dressed identically in basketball shorts, a wife beater, a snapback, and vans.

"What?"

"Go change. Both of you. We're already late, Kate. Why are you doing this to me?"

"What's wrong with what we're wearing?"

"You know EXACTLY what. I'm not wasting words on it."

"One, it's ninety six degrees outside. Two, she's going straight to your parent's house. Three, we're getting in a car and driving four and a half hours to the mountains. Why do we need to be dressed in any specific way?"

Yelena leans against the counter and rests her hand on her growing stomach.

"Kate...we're going to be stuck in a car for five hours and I don't want to be mad at you for those five hours. Please at least put shirts on."

"But WHY?!"

Yelena huffs, walks towards Kate, and takes the baby that sits on her shoulders.

"Your momma may be okay with looking like a vagrant, but I won't let you do it too."

Yelena tells the baby while peppering her face with kisses as she walks to the nursery.

"I don't look like a vagrant! I just choose to be comfortable!"

Kate heads to the nursery. She finds Yelena flipping through the little girl's closet, trying to find a more appropriate outfit.

"Hey Alex, can you tell mommy you love your shirt?" The baby babbles something that remotely ends in something that resembles ‘shirt’. "There you go. Big fan."

"She can have a say in what she wears when she's potty trained and can at least count to ten. Until then, I'm exclusively picking her outfits. You lost your privileges today."

Yelena selects a nice color-coordinated outfit and a headband.

"She's going to your parent's house..."

"And they might want to go out. If she's ready, they don't have to change her...Up, baby."

The baby lifts her arms, and Yelena removes her shirt, then quickly replaces it with the new one.

"What if they don't go out?"

"Then she wasn't walking around in a wife beater and basketball shorts."

"You overthink things."

"And you underthink them." Yelena continues changing the baby. "Kate, I'm asking you one last time, please at least go put a shirt on."

"You're a tyrant." Kate disappears from the doorway. Not two minutes later, she reappears, buttoning up a short-sleeved shirt. "World War III  averted now?"

"See how much better you look?" Yelena moves the baby from the changing table to the floor and she immediately takes off running out of the room. "ALEX!"

Yelena is about to go after Alexia, but Kate wraps her arm around her midriff at the door and pulls her close.

"Why are my wife beaters your biggest nemesis in the world?"

Yelena chuckles.

"You don't look like an adult wearing them."

"Who cares?!"

"I've told you, you can wear them at home but not outside."

"I don't need to wear anything at home. That's the fun of being home. I can be naked if I want."

Yelena rolls her eyes.

"I need to go get the baby. We're so late."

"Yel, she'll be fine for two seconds and literally no one is waiting for us. YOU made an arbitrary schedule that you want us to meet. We're off for a week. Shut down your science, work, spreadsheet, serious brain mode. It's our anniversary. Relax. That's the whole point of this week, no? Why is there a fucking schedule to begin with?"

"Because without a schedule, there is chaos. YOU are chaos. Someone has to keep us on track, and by process of elimination, that is me."

"Embrace the chaos this week."

Yelena laughs.

"I wasn't built for chaos. Besides, all I want to embrace this week is uninterrupted sleep and having uninterrupted sex when we're not enjoying said uninterrupted sleep. No chaos. Opposite of chaos. Peace, quiet, and no baby."

"Technically, there is a baby coming."

Kate tenderly places her hand on Yelena's stomach.

"This one doesn't jailbreak out of the crib, crawl into our bed, and kick us in the face in the middle of the night yet. I'm not counting it."

"Yeah, okay. I'll give you that."

Kate scans Yelena's face attentively.

"You're staring."

"I am."

"Why?"

"Because all this...a wrong door. If I'd knocked on another door, or I'd gone one building over, or you hadn't been home...but now we're here...married eight years this week, thirteen years total, two babies, and a miscarriage deep. I stare because sometimes it feels crazy. Would you change it?"

"Not a minute."

"Not even when I drive you crazy?"

"I'll revise my answer. I'd change the minutes when my wife drives me crazy and doesn't listen to me, which are arguably a lot of minutes." Yelena leans up and kisses Kate. "No. I wouldn't change it. Nothing. You genuinely make me consider filing for divorce at least once a week, but then I remember I don't think I can exist without you and the thought leaves my mind."

"Wow, does that mean I can do ANYTHING?"

Kate smiles mischievously.

"Don't push your luck, Kate Bishop."

"But what if..."

The sound of things tumbling then shattering and a small "Uh Oh!" comes from the front of the apartment. They both sigh and rest their foreheads against each other's.

"Go get your demon child. Go..." Kate laughs as Yelena shoves her wife, sending her to investigate whatever disaster their toddler had just created. "You better hope this one turns out level-headed and composed like me, or I'm packing my shit and leaving the three of you here to be chaotic entities by yourselves. I can't do three of you. My blood pressure can't handle it."

Kate disappears and Yelena hangs behind when she notices that her wife didn't put away the clothes that she took off the baby. She sets on folding that and returning it to where it belongs. She then starts to notice all the small things Kate left out of place when she was getting the baby ready.

"My god, Kate."

Yelena starts to tidy up.

---

Fifteen minutes later, Yelena is heading to the front of the apartment. It's eerily quiet, which she's learned is never good in this house.

When she steps into the living room, she finds the source of the noise. Alexia pulled the bottom shelf of one of the bookcases and everything on it came tumbling down. Everything is still on the floor and neither her daughter nor her wife are anywhere to be found. Suspicious. Very suspicious.

Yelena keeps walking and that's when she hears Kate's hushed voice coming from the kitchen. She walks slower to be able to hear better over the sound of her steps.

"...but you have to clean your face and wipe your clothes. And you definitely can't snitch. She'll kill me. You two can't snitch eit..."

When Yelena walks into the kitchen, she finds Kate holding the transparent plastic container where they store the graham crackers. The baby is currently standing on the kitchen counter, double-fisting crackers. Kate is caught red-handed also feeding crackers to the two expectant dogs wagging their tails at her feet.

"KATE!"

The foursome immediately freezes when they look up to find Yelena in the doorway.

#bishova #I just saw that you originally sent this on April 25th so...almost two months to the day delayed #MY BAD #i was hoarding it but FUCK IT #if this was ACTUALLY written properly then it would have the vows and all that shit but... #ive warned you this is very much half assed and NOT DONE #but y'all insisted so here it is #this is 8.1k words of mediocrity lol #kyfbau #anonymous #answers #kyfbaup

[jula483]

Ear Biscuits ep. 411

Link: let's me and you have a little burger date. it can be like our valentine's day

Rhett: so me and you are gonna go to get a burger on valentine's day

Link: yep, for every year for the rest of our lives

romance is NOT DEAD 🥺

#rhett and link #rhink #ear biscuits #eb 411 #I'm literally in the middle of listening the episode and just had to run and post here #😭 #why are they so fucking cute #!!! #link was insisting it's valentine's day or at least in February #y'all #i can't #my post

[lunapwrites]

Applied Theory Ch 7 - Drop Shot - The Humiliation

Biiiiiiig thanks to @bluesundaycake for his help with the French dialogue, of which there is... much. Y'all might need translate for this one, girlies. <3

“Sirius? J'ai reçu ton message. Est-ce que tout est—?” Regulus slid to a halt in the doorway, mouth dropping open. The corners twitched dangerously, threatening a smile. “Oh.”

Sirius glared at him. “Ne moque pas de moi.”

“Je ne moque pas,” he lied, stepping carefully into the room and thankfully closing the door behind him, silently taking in… the situation. “Depuis quand as-tu ça?”

“Je me suis réveillé comme ça.”

“Et tu—”

“Tu crois vraiment que je n'ai pas tout essayé pour l'enlever?” Sirius snapped, throwing his hands up to gesture wildly at his face. “À moins que je m'arrache la peau du visage—”

“Non, vraiment?” Regulus’ eyes lit up excitedly. “Même avec du maquillage?”

“Non. Ça ne couvre rien, ça change même de couleur.”

“Fascinant.”

“Concentre-toi, Regulus ! J'ai besoin de ton cerveau et son obsession pour les détails!”

Regulus raised a brow at him. “Si tu me le demandes comme ça...”

“Tu sais bien ce que je veux dire!”

His brother crossed his arms, and for a brief, terrifying moment, Sirius thought he might abandon him to his fate.

Instead, he did something far, far worse.

“D'accord, j'appelle Madame Maxime.”

Sirius blanched. “Pourquoi ferais-tu ça?”

“Car quelle que soit ton opinion de moi - injustifiée d'ailleurs - ce que Lupin t’a fait au visage dépasse largement même mes capacités.” And without another glance in his direction, Regulus swept out the door, leaving Sirius alone to await the inevitable.

It was over. His life, his career — all of it, over. He would never survive the humiliation, he was certain of it.

For a mercy, Regulus returned with Olympe in short order — far more quickly than he had expected, in truth. Unmercifully, she was far less contained than his brother had been, letting out a loud, booming laugh the moment she set eyes on him.

“L'œuvre de votre grand rival, je suppose?” she asked, grinning widely as she inspected the word emblazoned across his forehead. At his sullen nod, she snorted. “Ah non, courage. Il aurait pu écrire bien pire que ‘twat.’ Y avait-il un message, ou était-ce que c’était censé être la grande finale après ces grues en papier - combien y en avait-il?”

“Mille, soi-disant,” he grumbled. They had haunted him for the better part of three weeks, hiding in every corner of the castle only to fly out when he least expected it and smack him about the face. Even his own quarters hadn’t been safe. But they had come with a proper letter — not a Howler — which he pulled from his pocket and handed off to Olympe.

“... I send these cranes with the wish that you find better uses of your time — Personne ne peut l'accuser d'être passif-agressif.”

Sirius’ scowl deepened. “Lupin est un vrai comédien.”

“Et c'est un vrai sorcier, d’après son travail.” She paused, swatting him on the cheek gently with the parchment. “Ne fronce pas les sourcils comme ça, ça donne des rides.”

“Ça ne le tuerait pas d'avoir l'air son âge, à mon avis,” Regulus muttered, earning an elbow to the ribs from Sirius. “D'autant plus qu'il refuse de faire son âge.”

Olympe hummed. “Je n'ai jamais rien vu de tel. C'est incroyable, quand même.”

“Devrait-on le laisser, alors? Puisque le titre lui conv—oof!” Regulus recoiled at a firmer strike from his brother — this time to the stomach — retaliating with a swift kick to the ankle.

“Professeurs,” the Headmistress warned lightly, “n'oubliez pas que vous êtes censés enseigner aux enfants, et non les imiter.”

“Je ne peux pas enseigner comme ça,” Sirius groaned. “Si on ne peut pas l'enlever de mon visage…”

“C'est possible.” Olympe handed him the letter, all but waving it under his nose. “Tu vois? Il t'a laissé toutes les informations nécessaires ici.”

“Ah bon?” Sirius squinted down at the last line, written in Lupin’s steady, looping script. “Il ne fait que me traiter d'idiot.”

“Non. Lis comme il faut.”

Sirius pursed his lips, failing to see the value in this exercise, but obeyed nonetheless: “I’m sure someone as clever as you has already figured out the source of the problem, but just in case my fifth-years are cleverer than you— oui, très original, Lupin —  then you might want to know it’s a simple localisation issue. Do let me know how you make out. Il est audacieux lui, de s'attribuer le mérite d'avoir trouvé le problème de localisation alors que c'est moi qui lui en ai parlé en premier lieu. L'arrogance—!”

“Tu ne vois pas d'autre raison pour qu’il ait pu dire ça?” Regulus asked pointedly enough to stop Sirius in his tracks.

What did Lupin gain from taking credit for this? It wasn’t as though he were making the claim publicly; it was a private letter — or would have been if he hadn’t just shared the contents. Was it a threat? Blackmail of some sort? If so it was a piss-poor attempt; he’d gotten worse from his grandmother — after she’d lost her teeth. So what was it? And now that he was looking at it more closely, why was the phrasing sitting so strangely with him?

And then, all at once, it clicked.

He dropped his face into his hands — stupid. “C'est un problème de localisation.”

“Voilà,” Olympe said, clasping his shoulder gently as she stood. “Il suffit de trouver le sort qu'il a lancé en anglais, et tu devrais pouvoir inverser l'effet, non?”

It sounded so easy when she said it like that - despite the fact that there were half a dozen spells he needed to try, and pray he came across the correct variation. But unfortunately Sirius found himself remembering a crucial bit of information from Lupin’s biography — information which could well spell his doom.

He let out a mirthless laugh. “En théorie, oui. Mais Lupin n'est pas anglais, il est gallois.”

A ringing silence met his statement, hanging in the air for several tense moments.

Regulus broke first, throwing his head back with a sharp, barking laugh so similar to his own, and he walked out of the room — still laughing, his work complete. 

Olympe sniffed, shaking her head. “Faire son âge… c'est l'hôpital qui se moque de la charité,” she muttered, turning to Sirius with a sympathetic grimace. “Tu peux continuer seul à partir d'ici, oui?” At his nod, she continued: “Très bien. J'ai cru comprendre que tu prendra la parole lors de la grande conférencecet été. C'est aux États-Unis cette année, n'est-ce pas ?”

“New York,” Sirius supplied with a proud, if weak smile. His work in recursive casting methodology — which had sprung, interestingly enough, from his feud with Lupin — had finally caught not only the eye of l'Académie de la Magie, but that of the greater international community at large. To be able to present his research at IACST was an incredible honour. And one which — he hoped — he would be able to accept with a clear complexion.

“J’ai aucun doute que tu vas bien nous représenter.” She walked to the door. “Je vais couvrir tes cours de l'après-midi aujourd'hui, mais si tu n’as toujours pas trouvé la solution d'ici demain, puis-je suggérer un chapeau?”

Sirius flushed, but inclined his head gratefully. “Oui, Madame. Merci.”

Once she had left, he walked over to the mirror, pointing his wand carefully at the offensive word spelled across his forehead in bold, black lettering. “Evanesco.”

A small, simple variation, but significant enough; still, the word didn’t budge.

Sirius wondered idly what the protocol would be if he were to murder Lupin at the conference — assuming of course the prick would be there (he would; ego that size? He’d never miss it.)

Well. Hopefully he wouldn’t need to find out.

#applied theory #lp writes #update #chapter 7 #my writing #hp #sirius black #regulus black #madame maxime #french dialogue #so much french dialogue lol #pahn over here doing the most work. seriously thank you #as a note: there is one line which i know is right #but it doesn't come through translate well #regulus basically says like. it wouldn't kill him to look his age #seeing as he refuses to act his age #but for some reason #translate insists they are the same sentence. #they are not lol. #anyway hope y'all get a giggle #if you have a lot of trouble with this toss me a line #i'll post up an english version.

[moonshroooms]

My baby nephew, upon me and not his mama picking him up from school, AGAIN: you need to stop being here :/

Me:

#moonspeaks #i was like dkfkhk aww bud are you tired of seeing me? and his ass just goes 'yeah :/' djdkgkh #like im pretty sure with toddler logic he's certain IM the reason mom keeps having to go to school #and unfortunately hes like 4 so i have no way to explain that correlation ≠ causation #like im sorry lil dude but ur mama has to leave whether im here or not #if its any consolation i dont wanna be here and awake at 5am for y'all either 😔✌🏽✌🏽 #i love them but he was such a butthead that weekend lol and surprisingly his lil bro was SUPER chill #i can't wait for when he's older and i can tell him he told me to get out of his house like 3 times that weekend dkxkfkhmj #thankfully he only supremely disliked me RIGHT when his mom left in the morning and was mostly okay the rest of the day #one morning he threw SUCH a fit and the mere sight of me was making it worse & he insisted on being in the garage in the dark alone #i was like 'alright then batman but the door stays open so i can hear if youve died' #eventually i was able to make peace by loudly 'hrmmm im just gonna leave this bowl of blueberries here.... yknow...' #'just in case aaaanyone wants some for breakfast'. didnt get a vocal response but i heard his lil feet patter across the floor XD #5 mins later he asked for more blueberries lmao i made him a lil fort in the garage cuz he wanted to be alone that morning #honestly my peacemaking skills are phenomenal idk why I'm not president or something #tag story

[riverscuomoyaoi]

The hazbin fandom asexuality discourse is making me so mad bc both sides just want to invalidate me so badly

Edit: if you really wanna argue about this for some reason then at least do so to my face and not on anon. I'm not gonna respond to someone knowing they're not gonna see it

#just had to delete a hazbin post bc of this #fucking hell #if your allyship to ace people is insisting aces can never have sex ever then not only you're not helping you're also part of the problem #wow I guess I'm excluded from the ace club forever huh #these people aren't that common tho so don't worry #but it still hurts bc like #you're supposed to be on my side #the shippers who neglect his sexuality just annoy me #or like in extreme instances make me uncomfortable #but this fucking behaviour here???? it makes me fucking furious #you're supposed to BE ON MY SIDE why are you AGAINST ME?????? #sorry mutuals I failed you I gave a shit about fandom discourse #but well what did I expect getting into hazbin fucking hotel lmao #update: i need to make it clear that this post is absolutely not against sex repulsed asexuals #y'all are a very important if not the most important part of our community #this post is against people trying to police how others portray and/or interpret asexuality

[squirrelno2]

Sometimes I see people arguing very heatedly about what the intent of a piece is and man. If it's for a transformative work, as 99 percent of these arguments are, it literally does not matter? Intent of the author matters in a very narrow slice of media analysis, my friends. The impact of a piece and what the text says to you matters greatly but uh. Why do you all care so much what the guy who wrote it thinks. You're the audience just tell me what you think and let's proceed from there

#99 percent of takes that frustrate me would not frustrate me nearly so much if y'all weren't out here insisting #that you know exactly what like. lucas or roddenberry or whoever the fuck had in mind. #you don't know! as a writer let me say half the time we don't know! just tell me what YOU THINK happened and why YOU THINK it did #when i analyse a dance i dont waste sleep over what balanchine meant to do i take what he showed us and rip it to shreds #rip to some of you but im different i guess??? #anyway im not vagueblogging really nobody set me off i just saw someone say something to remind me of. Other Things.

[qqueenofhades]

“U.S. President Joe Biden issued a memorandum on Thursday requiring allies who receive military aid from the U.S. to provide ‘credible and reliable written assurances’ of their adherence to international law including international human rights law,” the Times of Israel reported. Israel will need to supply written assurances within 45 days or risk loss of aid. The report added, “The memo did not mention specific countries who would be held up to the new standard, but came amid increasing calls in the U.S. to condition aid to Israel due to concerns over its military operations in Gaza which were triggered by the Oct. 7 attacks, in which Hamas terrorists murdered some 1,200 people, mostly civilians, and kidnapped 253.” No one should underestimate the impact of the decision. The Associated Press explained, “Democratic senators on Friday called Biden’s directive — meant to bring breadth, oversight, deadlines and teeth to efforts to ensure foreign governments don’t use U.S. military aid against civilians — historic.”

[.......]

Biden also pressed on with intense one-on-one diplomacy. After his comment on Thursday evening that Israel had been “over the top” in Gaza, Biden engaged with Netanyahu on Sunday in a 45-minute conversation — unusually long by most diplomatic standards (and even more so given that no time had to be spent on translation with English-fluent Netanyahu). According to the White House readout, Biden insisted Israel make “credible” arrangements to protect civilians before launching a widely criticized military plan for Rafah, where civilian casualties could mount. He also pressed Netanyahu again to increase humanitarian aid to the Palestinians. Biden’s patient approach with Netanyahu over months has gradually transformed into a private and public pressure campaign. A Biden official told The Post that the leaders had “a pretty detailed back and forth on that.”

-- Biden delivers tough love, takes historic step: Conditioning aid to Israel

Meanwhile Trump?

Trump has said he would implement travel bans on people from certain countries or with certain ideologies, expanding on a policy upheld by the Supreme Court in 2018. Trump previewed some parts of the world that could be subjected to a renewed travel ban in a mid-October speech, pledging to restrict people from the Gaza Strip, Libya, Somalia, Syria, Yemen and "anywhere else that threatens our security." During the speech, Trump focused on the conflict in Gaza, saying he would bar the entry of immigrants who support the Islamist militant group Hamas and send deportation officers to pro-Hamas protests.

Also: Trump vows to expand Muslim ban and bar Gaza refugees if he wins presidency

Really, really not sure how much clearer I can make it here for y'all, but sure. Something something Trump's actually a better choice on this issue/overall (sarcasm).

#politics for ts #israel hamas war #i mean #i know this argument is nonsense #but sometimes you look at it and feel compelled to point out just how much nonsense it is

[daisynik7]

Pairing: Takuma Ino x f!reader

Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word Count: ~1.7k

cw: explicit language, mentions of a popular horror movie, smut – PIV sex (cowgirl position), nipple play, blow job, mask kink, slight degradation (slut, whore), use of pet names (cutie, sweetie, baby) 

Summary: You and your new boyfriend Ino decide to watch a horror movie together in honor of spooky season. Halfway through, he notices how skittish you are, making him want to play a silly prank on you with his signature ski mask. It’s all fun and games until he realizes that you actually like seeing him in this way more than he anticipated. 

Author’s Note: Happy October y'all! What can I say, I am VERY into Takuma Ino right now and I just had to get this out of my system. This is barely edited or proofread, sorry for any grammar mistakes or typos, I really was just letting my fingers fly through this in a moment of passion LOL. Likes, reblogs, and/or comments are always appreciated, thank you for reading! MDNI banner by @/cafekitsune. 

You turn off all the lights, the only source of illumination coming from the TV screen, paused at the very start of the movie you decided to watch tonight. With a big bowl of freshly popped kernels in your grasp, you huddle beside your boyfriend, Ino, on the couch, covering both your legs with a fleece blanket. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you in closer, reaching to grab a handful of popcorn to stuff inside his mouth. “Ready?” he muffles, pointing the remote to the screen, finger pressed to the center button. 

Nuzzling your head against him, you answer. “Yup!”

It’s apparently one of those cult classic horror flicks according to Ino, who recommended it when you mentioned how you wanted to watch something scary for October. He’s seen it before, many times in fact, but he insists that you watch it. He has no clue how frightened you get over the silliest things, so tonight will be a treat for the both of you. 

The opening scene plays out: a beautiful blonde picks up the phone and the conversation ends quickly short because it’s the wrong number. Normal so far, good. It rings again, but now the caller seems interested in talking. Do you like scary movies? Do you have a boyfriend? The man’s voice gives you the creeps, and you find yourself shuddering from it, cuddling closer to Ino, who glances at you with a smirk on his face. 

You never told me your name.

Why do you want to know my name?

Because I want to know who I’m looking at.

This line gives you goosebumps and you lift the blankets up to hide behind it. “Ew, creepy!” Ino only laughs, throwing a few more pieces of popcorn into his mouth. 

It escalates from here, getting increasingly chaotic and violent. By the time you’re halfway into the film, the bowl is down to its last kernels and you’re crouched in Ino’s lap, peeking through your fingers. He pauses the movie after one particularly brutal kill. “Snack break! I’m going to make some more popcorn and go pee.”

“You’re leaving?!” you whine, clinging on to him as he tries to get up.

He chuckles. “Babe! It’s just a movie. I’ll be right back, okay?” He kisses you on the forehead, heading into the kitchen, leaving you alone in the living room. 

Of course it’s just a movie, but you can’t help feeling creeped out in the dark like this. You reach for one of the nightstands, turning on the lamp. You hear the drone of the microwave, and after a minute or so, the distinct sound of popping. Eventually, it comes to a stop, and the entire house is eerily quiet. You’re tempted to call out for Ino, wondering where he is, but you remember that he had to use the bathroom. 

Suddenly, a shadowy figure appears right behind on you on the couch, grabbing your shoulders and shouting gibberish at you. You scream bloody murder, ready to punch him and run away when Ino lifts his ski mask up to reveal himself, tears streaming down his face, cracking up at you. 

“Ino!” you yell at him, slapping his hands away from you. “You fucking asshole!”

He doubles over, cackling, wiping his eyes. It takes a good while for him to regain his composure as you glare at him, arms crossed over your chest. “I’m sorry, baby. I just couldn’t resist.” He sits beside you, stretching his arms out for a hug. “You have to admit, that was fucking hilarious.”

You shake your head, refusing. “You’re such a dick.”

“Oh, come on! It was just a little prank. Now you’ll be way more prepared for the rest of the movie!” He pulls the mask over his face again, everything covered except the holes for his eyes. “See? Not so scary anymore, right?”

You inspect him carefully, still pouting, not saying a word.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Truly. I promise not to scare you again.” He scoots towards you, nudging you in the arm. 

You roll your eyes at him, relaxing. “Fine.”

“Can I get a kiss now?” 

He tries to lift his mask up, but you stop him, pulling it back down. “I don’t want to see your face right now. I’m still annoyed, you know.”

“Aw man! Really?”

You hoist it just past his nose, leaning in to give him a soft kiss on the lips. When you break apart, he smirks at you. “You like this, don’t you? Seeing me with my mask on.”

You shrug, a sly grin on your face, neither confirming nor denying his accusation. Sure, you were a bit upset at first, when he scared the shit out of you. But seeing his face covered like that may have sparked a desire in you that you never knew you had, until now. 

“Oh my god! You do, you do!” he exclaims, shaking your arm. “My cutie has a mask kink!”

“Shut up, asshole!” you yell at him, pretending to shove him off, smiling. 

“You’re a fucking freak!” he giggles, pouncing on you. He starts tickling you along your ribcage, causing you to squirm beneath him as he straddles you, trapping you between his legs. His fingers flutter under your arms, stroking your sensitive skin.

“Ino!” you cry out, laughing from the sensation. 

You can feel his cock growing hard in his pants, balls heavy on your stomach. Suddenly, he stops, mask still folded to expose his lips, leaning down to kiss you sloppily. He pins your hands above your head, locking his fingers with yours. He slips inside your mouth, grazing your tongue with his, hungry for your saliva. “Fuck,” he moans into you, nipping at your bottom lip. “You like this freaky shit, don’t you? Nasty slut.” His playful tone is laden with lust now, low and sultry, mouth brushing along your neck, sucking at your pulse points to mark you. 

You whine his name, wrapping your legs around his waist, grinding yourself against him. 

“Look at you, getting so fucking dumb all because of my mask,” he purrs. “What else turns you on, cutie? Tell me.”

Without thinking, you blurt out, “Spit. Your spit. I want it.”

“Oh shit,” he swears, licking his mouth. He traces the outline of your lips, beckoning you to open up, dribbling a thick wad of saliva inside you. You gulp it down, sticking your tongue out for more. 

“Oh fuck, you’re nasty,” he says, doing it again. “Makes me so fucking horny seeing you like this. Seeing my cutie act like a fucking whore.” He slips beneath your shirt, fondling your bare breasts, flicking your peaked nipples with his thumbs. 

“Fuck, Ino,” you whisper, pussy throbbing in your panties, arousal leaking through the fabric. 

“You like it when I play with your tits, huh?” Like it when I pinch them hard like this.” He squeezes them between his thumb and index finger, enough pressure to stimulate you, making you moan his name again and again.

He swears under his breath, shoving his pants down his legs, shimmying out of them until he’s only in his underwear now, erection stiff in his boxers. “You gonna suck my cock now or what, slut?” 

You nod, kneeling in front of him, knees on the carpet, spreading his thighs apart. He lifts his ass off the couch to slide out of his boxers, letting them fall around his ankles. You kiss the tip of his dick, smearing his precum around your lips like gloss before swallowing him into your mouth. 

He lets out a drawn out, “Fuck,” watching you with wide eyes as you bob up and down his shaft. Voice shaky, he asks, “Can I put my hands on you?”

Something about him in this ski mask makes you want to be submissive, makes you want to be used. You grab both his hands, guiding them towards the sides of your head, giving him free rein to manhandle you.

“Holy shit,” he murmurs, gripping you tighter, gradually thrusting his hips in tandem with you. His cockhead hits the back of your throat, teasing your gag reflex, but you resist, tears collecting in the corners of your eyes, enduring it. 

Noticing you, he pulls out, a string of spit between you. “Baby, baby. Please don’t force yourself. I don’t want to hurt you.” He reaches to his side, grabbing a tissue from the table beside the couch, wiping away the spit around your mouth and the tears in your eyes. “Come here, cutie. I want to make you feel good too.”

You strip out of your bottoms, straddling his lap, pussy wet and aching against him. He moans as you rock back and forth on his shaft, pressing his thumb to your clit, massaging it. “There we go. Now we both can feel good, yeah?”

After a few more strokes, you beg him to fuck you, lifting up to guide his cock inside you slowly, sinking down on him until he bottoms out. You bounce on him, his hands gripped to your waist, guiding you, moaning your name between expletives. 

As you approach your orgasm, you pull up his mask, placing it on his head as he usually wears it. He smiles brightly at you, nuzzling his nose to yours. “There’s my pretty girl. Can you come for me now? Come all over this cock?”

You kiss him passionately, arms wrapped around his neck as he thrusts into you, hands squeezed on your ass now. You reach your climax, moaning into his mouth. He comes with you, shooting his load deep into your womb, filling you up with his cream pie. The two of you continue to kiss slowly, catching your breaths. He caresses your back while you melt into his embrace. 

“We need to establish a safe word,” he suggests, cradling you in his arms. “I want to make sure I’m not hurting you.”

You hum into his skin, saying the first thing that comes to mind. “Popcorn."

He chuckles, stroking the back of your neck gently. “Alright. Popcorn it is.” A beat later, he exclaims, “Popcorn! I totally forgot about the popcorn!”

You laugh, giving your boyfriend a wet smooch on the cheek.

#takuma ino #ino takuma #takuma ino x reader #takuma ino smut #ino takuma smut #ino takuma x reader #takuma ino x you #ino takuma x you #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader

[0uroboring]

.

#legit so many of the posts that get popular on here show me that the userbase hasn't really like critically developed since the 2010s #it's a bit concerning tbh becaude this is the website of superiority over other socials when like. the misinformation model was BORN HERE #there's no reason for me to post this and i'm gonna delete it later but it's legitimately alarming to be surrounded by a userbase convinced #that they're the only intelligent life on the internet... when so many people actively make more effort to be comfortable than to learn #it's not good y'all. it's not good #delete later #there are so many posts i see that are REALLY uh... anti-intellectual assertions that this website just eats up fucking fork and knife #like a lot of people here are dead set on staying within their ignorance and placating their own egos from that space. and they enable e/o #insisting on constant comfort and goodness is a display of privilege and it's a really ugly one that can't even empathize. #inb4 curate your dash I DO RELIGIOUSLY FOR 10 YRS THAT'S WHY I'M MENTIONING THIS AS A PROBLEM

[sturnsdoll]

𝘚𝘛𝘈𝘠𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘖𝘝𝘌𝘙 -`♡´- - c.s & t.y x reader

inspired by THIS

pairing: chris x tara x reader.

summary: two of your bestfriends stay over after a party. your friend tara's flirting quickly escalates the night into something much less innocent than a little sleepover.

warnings: smut, threesome, face sitting, dom!chris, switch!tara, sub!reader, dirty talk, p in v, oral (f & m recieving), praise, overstimulation, fingering, no protection (it's fiction. don't be dumb.), probably forgot some sorry!

authors note: omg y'all been on my ass to finish writing thiss <3 i did write and edit this while sleepy so (i really hope not) BUT if there's mistakes or lack of detail i'm really sorry!

"pink" = reader speaking "purple" = tara speaking "orange" = chris speaking

the time on your phone read 3:04am.

with a sigh you searched your surroundings impatiently. you'd been stood outside on the lawn of this stupid giant house for 4 minutes too long. the dampness on you from light raindroplets coming down just made the experience all the more unpleasent.

the mansion behind you was a mututal friends. inside, music blared so loud that it was seeping out through the windows. despite the absaloutely absurd hour of the night it was still bustling with people inside. sometimes in LA it felt like the parties just never died out. to be fair though, the number had signifincantly decreased from the start of the night when there must have been at least 100 people on the property.

"hey, sorry! i got caught up in yappin while trying to say goodbye to people" tara's familiar voice instantly made your tense shoulders drop. you turned to face her with a smile "it's alright. seen chris around yet?" your eyes scanned behind her to see if he was coming even though you didn't expect him to be. and he wasn't. "maybe we should text him?" tara suggested as she also looked behind her, as if it would make him appear faster. you pulled out your phone to send him a message.

3:07. they were both told to meet out here at 3:00. 7 minutes still wasn't terribly late.

tara's voice took you from your screen "we've been out here freezing, loser" you stop typing your text message to look up at whoever she was talking too. you were met with the sight of chris holding his jacket over his head to block from the rain falling down on him. "my bad, i got lost in the house.." he admitted as he got right up to the two of you and held his jacket out a little further to invite you both beneath it's shelter. "but i already called the uber so it should be here soon." he said re-assuringly. you both stepped beneath the coverage of his jacket. it didn't completely block the rain but it was something.

tara was staying over tonight because the two of you almost always stay at one anothers after parties. chris however, was coming along because neither matt or nick wanted to come to the party so you had taken him here, as well as offered to take him home the next day. he could have just ubered home tonight but, you and tara insisted that he come over to hang out after. what was he gonna do? say no to a fun innocent little sleepover with his friends??

the three of you walked in unison in order to keep your place under the shelter of chris' jacket. the whole way off the property the music faded and tara's heels clicking mixed with the rain's intensity picking up became all that was heard.

the close proximity of the three of you should have been uncomfortable but you had absaloutely no issue being this close to tara and chris- probably because they were both very outgoing and touchy people so they were comfortable as well, giggling the whole way down the lawn about who knows what. the smell of rain and chris' dior cologne filled your senses up the whole walk until finally, you all made it to the sidewalk and the uber was right there across the street.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

the ride home, you had all sat in the back together. you sat in the middle, head on chris's shoulder and one leg swung over tara's lap as you and tara yapped away almost the entire time. this wasn't weird because tara, you and chris were all naturally touchy people. and the alcohol hadn't completely left yours or taras systems quite yet.

opening your front door now, you instantly removed the heels that had been abusing your feet for hours. "i'm gonna get comfy clothes, you two can make yourselves comfortable" you told your friends as you locked your door securely. "could i borrow a shirt or something?" tara questioned with a sweet pleading smile as she slid off her heels and coat. "of course! come on" you enthused, leading her toward your laundry room since you hadn't had time to put any of your clothes away earlier before the party.

chris watched as you lead tara away. he had already made himself at home on your couch. he had been here before so it didn't take him long to figure out the tv remote either.

tara eventually picked out a t-shirt of yours to wear. you had chosen a matching tank and shorts pj set. as you were sliding your shorts on under your dress, you caught sight of tara sliding her dress down her shoulders. slowly her tits peaked over her dress, little by little till they were completely exposed.

you were in awe of how perfect they sat. how pretty. you were so mesmerized that you didn't even realize she had completely removed her dress and caught your hungry gaze. a typical tara giggle escaped her, snapping you out of your haze.

your eyes shot up to hers and you look petrified. "i'm so sorr-" "no no, it's okay" you could tell by the smile on her face that she was genuine. she slid your shirt over her head, covering her body back up again. "you want help unzipping your dress?" she asked. you were still so stuck on what had just happened that the question caught you off gaurd. why not though? god knows it'd be a nightmare to unzip it yourself. so, you nodded with an embarassed "sure".

tara made her way behind you, she stepped just a little closer than necessary and her painted fingernails found your zipper to slide it down. you could feel her breath on your neck, making your spine shiver. she slowly slid the straps of your dress down your shoulders, letting your dress fall down near your stomach.

she came right behind you, head on your shoulder. she looked down at your chest VERY obviously observing you with her gaze. "gorgeous" she complimented, her mischevious smile contradicting her sweet and casual tone. she gave a quick kiss to your shoulder before abruptly leaving the room to go find chris like it was nothing.

you stood completely dumbfounded. you and tara were extremely close but that was weird, right? after a couple minutes of collecting your thoughts, you chalked it up to her flirty personality just being fed a little too much liquid courage tonight.

after getting your clothes on you made your way to the living room where chris and tara were talking away. they were sitting surprisingly close but, spacial awarness wasn't always tara's specialty. chris didn't seem to mind.

"heyy me and chris are deciding what we want to eat, what do you want?" she questioned excitedly with uber eats already open on her phone.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

you all had made your decisions on food as well as a movie and you instructed that everyone watched it in your room to be more comfy so here the three of you were now..

chris laid with his back against your headboard while you and tara sat next to him on either side. chris and tara were talking over the movie that was nearly over now. waterbottles and empty fast food containers filled the space on your side table. you and tara had completely sobered up about an hour ago after having had some food.

"right? like wear what you want i guess but like WOW i just.." you had no clue what chris was talking about and you didn't care, as your eyes fixated on the tv screen you drowned out your two friends voices. reaching into your bedside tables drawer, you removed a vanilla chapstick sorry spacecamp to fix the dryness that earliers alcohol had cursed you with.

the scent of it was super strong. chris had subconciously switched his attention from what he was saying to your lips as the scent you were applying filled his nose and senses. he watched as you drug it across your perfect, round and now smooth, lips. he realized he was staring and quickly looked away. now that his attention had been drawn to you, he realized that you hadn't really talked to him or tara much for the past hour.

"what is that? cake or some shit?" he said, more so as a reason to include you in conversation than out of actual curiousity. you went to put the cap back on the vanilla lipbalm "can i try?" tara asked before you could even answer chris. you went to hand her the tube but she stopped you by grabbing your wrist gently "why waste it when we could share?" she asked. you were confused for a second until a playful glint in her eyes told you what she meant.

so earlier she was flirting? you thought to yourself. your expression mirrored hers with a smirk as you casually responded "of course you can try it". she begins to move forward so you do too. the both of you are leaning over chris when your lips connect in a gentle peck. chris has no idea how to react. his lips are parted, eyes glossy with a growing desire as he watches his two friends infront of him.

your lips hover one anothers for a moment but nobodies pulling away so you connect mouths again. this time there's a passion, lust, to the kiss. your the first to add tongue and tara's more than welcoming about it, her tongue fighting back against yours for dominance. you lean into the kiss more and with that same surge of confidence, you make a split second decision to "accidentally" steady yourself by pressing your hand ontop of the blanket.. right over where chris' dick is located.

an unexpectful grunt slips his lips. you pull back from tara just a little to gage chris's reaction. he doesn't seem to mind but for your own good-concious you need to make sure. "this okay?" you ask as your palm gently starts rubbing onto the tent in the blanket. he nods confirmingly, a quiet "yeah" before his lips eagerly meet yours. tara backs up just slightly so she can adjust herself to place a kiss below chris's jaw. his hand rests onto her knee and he rubs his thumb lightly as a show of approval.

with that, she opens her mouth and begins lightly nipping at his neck. tara takes his hand that's on her knee and grabs it to guide it toward you, silently telling him to give you the attention instead right now. chris smirks into the kiss but you don't know why until his hand goes to toy the waist band of your shorts, making you flinch a little at the cold touch of his fingertips.

tara's lips leave chris's neck. she shuffling around the bed so you try to pull away to see what she's doing. chris's hand comes to the back of your head, forcing you back onto his lips. that doesn't last long though because next thing you know, tara's grabbing your shoulders to pull you to lay down on your back, head toward the end of the bed. your legs naturally go on either side of chris. he's still seated with his back against the headboard.

"you wanna make me feel good babe?" the tone of tara's voice makes your stomach flutter. you respond by nodding eagerly. tara giggles mischeviously in response as she stands to remove her black lace panties. chris eyes catch onto her. both of you watch as she bends over to slide them off, momentarily revealing her glistening pussy.

his attentions pulls away when you subconciously buck your hips up for attention. chris' long fingers slide into the waistband of your shorts to slide them off your legs. you allow him, lifting your hips to help. now you lift your head to watch what chris is up to. you feel tara's weight consume the bed next to your head but keep your eyes trained on the man between your legs. chris tosses your shorts aside before his hands find your thighs. painstakingly slow, his palms run up and down them, always close but never quite touching your aching cunt.

you begin to get impatient "chris. pl-" you're cut off by tara lightly grabbing your jaw and forcing your head back down against the bed. "shh. let him take his time honey" as she speaks she raises herself over your face, thighs now on either sides of your head. you open your mouth to argue but instead you're silenced by tara's folds pressing onto your lips.

well, you for sure weren't gonna argue with that. you forget about chris for now, wanting tara's taste in your mouth. your tongue darts out to experimentaly flick at her clit once before you completely dive in to suck on her needy bud.

tara whines from the lack of build up. she looks down at you admirably as your tongue works her "so good honey." she praises you. it hasn't even been a minute and your pussy drunk, you wanna make her keep telling you how good your doing, wanna pull more pretty noises. you're so completely consumed with her that you hadn't even noticed chris pulled your panties to the side until his fingers unexpectedly ran through your folds.

"so fucking soaked." chris states, admiring your soaked cunt. "yeah? you like being buried in me that much?" tara teases, staring down at you. to answer her, your tongue slips into her hole, nose stimulating her clit now. "orr she just wants to be touched, hm?" chris says with slight competitivness, his pointer finger just barely grazes over your clit. you buck your hips toward him for more but he uses his free arm to hold your waist to the bed.

tara scoffs, rolling her eyes even though neither of you can see it. "yeah sure" she mutters quietly in response to chris. he catches it though, "i'd watch your tone" chris warns her. before tara can respond, he thrusts his middle and ring fingers into you, elicting a moan. the vibrations of your moan travel straight into taras cunt, making her whine loudly.

chris watches with satisfaction at having affected both of you at the same time. although his cock is throbbing, he's more than happy to watch the sight infront of him and continue to toy and play with you. or both of you. his fingers are as deep as they go when he curls them upwards. you cry out, grabbing tara's hand with one of yours and her thigh with your other.

your tongue is still fucking her closer and closer to the edge. everytime chris forces out all your pretty little noises, they go straight into tara's cunt again and again.

her thighs begin suffocating the sides of your head. you don't mind at all. she rocks her cunt right into your face, whines spilling out of her. "i'm close" she voices, her thighs beginning to shake. "not yet, get off of her" chris demands. tara turns her head as far as it goes to look back at chris. "excuse me?" she questions him . chris's fingers pull out of you. you try to complain but it's muffled. they continue the conversation without you. "you're not cumming yet." he tells her. tara looks... offended? baffeled? she opens her mouth to complain but chris rolls his eyes and raises to his knee's so he can grab taras hips, lifting her off you.

you immedietly sit up, confused. tara's juices coat your chin and chris motions for you to come to him. "what. the. fuck?" you finally complain, looking between the two of them. "what she said" tara chimes in. chris turns tara to face him and lays back. he looks at tara then nods toward his lap. the sour look leaves her face and she smirks knowingly as she straddles his hips, already working at his belt.

chris's attention switches to you. "you wanna feel good again? hm?" he asks you with a slightly cocky smile. you nod. "cm'ere" he lures you over to sit on his face. while tara unbuttons and removes chris' pants.. you nervously place your thighs on either side of your friends face.

his middle and ring fingers return back to your aching hole to tease you again. he can sense your nervousness to lower yourself onto his mouth. "cm'on let me taste you" chris says, telling not asking as he looks up at you. you're looking anywhere but him. he groans frustratedly and decides to take matters into his own hands. he uses his free arm to wrap it around your thigh and pull you right down to his tongue. he wastes no time flicking the tip of his tongue up and down your clit rapidly. as if that wasn't enough, his fingers fill you right back up. you almost jump at the unsuspected and sudden pleasure. you push your cunt further onto his mouth for more. you look down to see his blue lustful gaze staring right back up at you while he smirks into your sopping cunt. you clench around his fingers just at the sight.

meanwhile, tara's teasingly pulling his boxers toward his thighs.

tara wants nothing more than to ride him like he had implied however, tara figured someone might as well return the favour that he's giving to you right now. she leans down and her hand wraps around his base at the same time her lips enclose his tip.

a whiny moan slips chris lips that makes tara amusedly giggle around his cock, causing him to let another noise slip. both of these go right to your clit. you grip chris' hair for support and in return he curls his fingers right up into your g-spot.

you throw your head back and begin attempting to rock your hips into chris' face. the arm that's around your thigh holds you still though and he begins curling his fingers the same way over and over, again and again. you whine and moan as your body tries again and again to rock against his grip on you. chris lips wrap around your clit now, nipping and sucking. your stomach twists with pleasure, you know what's coming if he keeps this up.

tara's mouth slides down his length, taking him in almost completetely. chris's teeth bite down on your clit in reaction. it's not hard enough to truly hurt but enough to shock you and almost tip you right over the edge.

chris releases your clit with a pop. his voice is shakier than he anticipated. "y-you wanna cum baby?" your friend asks as he looks up at you, your juices on his face with pussy drunk eyes. "mm- mhm" is all you manage. he gently slaps your thigh, making you whine. "lemme hear you say it" his fingers continue to curl into you.

"i w-wanna cum chris mm please" you beg him desperately as you clench around his fingers. there's a few seconds of silence that makes tears fill the corner of your eyes. "good girl. g-go ahead" he struggled to speak as the pleasure tara's tongue gave him was almost too much.

the 'good girl' was more than enough for you. you practically fold over, you would have if your headboard wasn't there to grab onto. your legs shake and your walls squeeze his fingers, your orgasm is already coming over you but then on top of it chris adds his mouth back to the mix, latching it back to your clit. "chris!" his name comes out high pitched. stars cloud your vision as you coat his fingers completely.

tara's mouth release's chris' cock. the bed shifts for a couple seconds and before he can process it, the warm walls of her cunt envelope him, sinking all the way to his pubic bone. chris moans into you again but this time it feels like too much. you tried to lift your hips off of him but he only pulls your pretty pussy right back to him. his fingers leave you but his tongue flattens against your hole, licking a long stripe from there till your clit.

"fuck chris!""fuck!" you and tara both whine out. your pleasure's from the overstimulation, hers from the way his cock hits all the right spots when she rocks on it. his dick twitching inside of her at the sound of both your pretty cries. when tara begins a steady and fast pace, chris couldn't help but subconciously try and fuck up into her. she leans back, her hands on his thighs to steady herself as her rythym became faster. both chris and tara let out noises. hers whiny and desperate, his lower and less often.

you couldn't hear either of them over the ringing in your ears from every muscle in your body shaking. because of your last orgasm, you were still very sensitive. this time all it took was chris's mouth sucking on your clit for and you were almost there again.

tara was finding friction for her clit from rocking it into chris' pelvis everytime her hips moved. her mouth was slack and she was hardly even moaning anymore. heavy breaths coming as her chest heaved. "fuck- i'm so close" tara mutters mostly to herself. you took a hand off the headboard to reach behind you, your hand reaching out behind you and she takes the hint, grabbing it. you both squeezed one anothers hands for support.

you guys weren't the only one's close. chris's dick was twitching inside your bestfriend and his hips start to stutter.

tara pushes her hips down harder onto her friend and the feeling was enough for the coil in her stomach to release. she cried out breathlessly and at the same time, your thighs squeeze chris's head as you dig your nails into tara's hand. your mind goes completely blank.

you remove yourself from chris's face, completely overstimulated. tara leaves his cock at the same time, red and leaking precum. chris looked at tara confused.. until she looks at you, then back to him.

you didn't notice this, you were sat next to chris, chest heaving while you catch your breath. "think you can take one more, babe?" tara speaks up but her voice is strained and raspy from all the gorgeous noises she had emitted just moments ago.

you looked at chris who was already looking at you. he looked pretty, sweat causing a few of his brown strands to cling to his forehead. despite looking a little fucked out, he still had an eagerness to him probably because he hadn't cum yet.

he got up into a seated position and reached out, hand going into your hair to pull you into him. his lips collided with yours feverishly whilst tara's fingertips teasingly graze his tip. he instantly swatted her hand away. she let him because they both knew he had other plans.

chris turned you around, positioning you on your knee's infront of him. your back pressed against his chest.

he used his knee's to seperate yours, shuffling them apart. tara came infront of you, on her knee's as well. she attatched her lips with yours while chris was positioning himself. your arm came around the back of her neck and the other reached behind you to go to the back of chris's neck as well.

chris brushes his tip against your clit. you instantly jerked your hips away from his from the overstimulating feeling. he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you back. you whine but he shushes you. "jus one more, yeah?" he assured right before his cock entered you, filling you up completely.

your lips left tara's to let out what was practically a scream. "shh honey" enphasizing her words, tara's hand clasps over your mouth. she lowered her head level to your tits before taking a nipple into her mouth. this makes you whine again, then again when chris's tip abuses your cervix without warning.

you're already so sensitive from his tongue and fingers just moments ago, his cock feels like too much but so good at the same time. "so good for us" chris praises before slamming into you again, making you scream into tara's hand. her other hand lands a light slap to your sensitive clit, making your hips jerk. you don't go far against chris' firm hold on you. "mm- g- cmm" even with taras hand shutting you up, they both know what you're saying.

chris mouth is now right next to your ear "not yet. you're gonna cum with me" he mutters to you. you shake your head, not thinking you're gonna last. "either you can fuckin wait for me or- fuck- or i'll make you take a fourth o-one" he threatens you. you shake your head in momentary panic. there's no way you're gonna cum for a fourth after this but if he makes you wait much longer to cum you aren't gonna have a choice but to finish before he allows you to.

tara continues to swirl her tongue around your nipple fiercly and as if you weren't already fucked dumb, her middle finger makes sudden contact with your clit, rubbing fast circles.

now you know that they're both just trying to fucking ruin you.

now you speak nonsense into her hand, making her smirk with amusement. "what's wrong honey, too much?" tara asks you with a faux-sympathetic pout. you aggresively nod your head. responding for tara, chris pulls you impossibly tighter against him, hips slamming harder into you. you yell into her hand and both of them smirk. "want us to stop?" she says teasingly, already knowing the answer but wanting to make sure. you instantly shake your head no.

her fingers still toy your clit and chris's pace slowly starts to falter. you can feel his breath on your neck becoming un-even. tara circles your sensitive bundle of nerves faster and you're sure your gonna be cumming before you're allowed.

luckily for you, the way chris holds your body tighter and his forehead drops to your shoulder says otherwise. "you gonna cum with me?" his voice is all low fucked out and it makes your walls squeeze him harder than ever. you nod, unable to speak for more than one reason. "go on then" he encourages along with a harsh slam of his hips. the second "go" left his lips your vision went white.

the next thing you were aware of was about 20 seconds after when his seed was spilling up into you to coat your walls. his forehead rested on your shoulder while he praised you on how good you were for him. "did so well" he said before gently kissing your shoulder while tara's fingers left your clit at the same time chris pulled out of you.

chris reached down next to your bed to retrieve everyones clothing for them. you had two bathrooms so you and tara headed off to one for a shower. chris to the other bathroom for the same reason.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

you all returned to your room after, clean and in new clean clothes. (lucky for chris, nick hangs out here often and you love to steal his shit to wear for comfort.)

chris had entered just as you finished making your bed with fresh sheets. "better not have been fucking in there without me" chris joked as he made himself comfortable laying on your bed. you and tara both simultaniously rolled your eyes at him, scoffing. you both joined him on the bed to lie down.

you were in the middle of them. chris spooned you and you spooned tara, cuddling one another comfortbly way past awkwardness at this point. chris rubbed a relaxing hand up and down your side and you played with your other friends hair relaxingly. you should know better though, comfortable silence doesn't exist with chris around...

"guess what?"

you audibly sighed. "what?" tara and you groaned knowingly in unison.

there's a little grin on his face that neither of you can see, but nonetheless you both sense the ridiculousness. "i saw both your boobies" he says in a childish sing-song tone.

"oh my god" "are you fucking kidding me?"

i really hope y'all enjoyed. ᥫ᭡

tags: @daddyslilchickenfingers @fratbrochrisgf @mattsrod @sturncakez @sturniololovesss @sturniccc

#chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #tara yummy smut #sturnsdoll #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo triplets fanfic #tara yummy #tara yummy fanfic #tara yummy x reader #sturniolo smut

[entitled-fangirl]

It's like heaven.

Felix Catton x reader

SMUT

Summary: Felix can't keep his hands off his angel at the party. Smut later in the story.

Words: 1,676

Warnings: p in v, cursing, Oliver being a perv

Author's note: This is from an ask! Y'all are so creative, I love it!!!

Masterlist

18+ please!

.......................................................................

He was utterly speechless.

When he saw her, he was speechless.

She had wanted to surprise him, of course, shooing him from their bedroom when he was finished getting ready for the party so she could get dolled up.

Now, here she stood in a somewhat scandalous piece feeling beautiful, a halo placed on her head for the theme.

He simply stood in the doorway, his jaw dropped.

She saw him in the mirror, whipping around, "Felix! I said to wait until I was done!"

He shook out of his stupor, moving towards her with a smirk, "I forgot my angel wings but JESUS am I glad I came back." He placed his hands on her waist, "I mean, look at you, pretty girl…" His eyes held a look of admiration and lust. 

She stepped back with a giggle, "Not yet. I'm not done. Shoo, Lex…" She then turned around, moving back to finish her eyeliner in the mirror.

He pulled her towards him again, her back hitting his firm abs. His lips began to trace her neck as he looked at her in the mirror, mumbling, "…what is there left to finish, angel?"

She stood when she was satisfied with the eyeliner, turning around in his arms. "…just my shoes. And… I'm no angel."

He smirked leaning down to give a kiss, his voice a slight growl, "you're my angel."

The kiss was sweet and held a lot of emotion, considering how it was soon going to become something more. She pulled away, placing a hand on his chest, "…Lex."

He pulls away with a groan, "Forget the party, beautiful."

She laughs, "No! I got ready for this, Lex. Even if you don't like the birthday boy, we still have to go!"

He would always give in to her. 

He smiles, leaning in towards her again, hands beginning to wander before she stopped him, "What's going on with you tonight?"

"You're just so fucking pretty. My pretty angel. Can't keep my hands to myself."

She reaches down, taking her hand in his before she pulled him out of the bedroom and towards the party.

…

She was sat on Felix's lap when Oliver opened the door.

Felix was sitting on the small table of the overly-crowded bathroom, the pretty angel balanced on one of his thighs. He sighed when he saw Oliver.

"Felix, can I talk to you for one second?"

She looked at Felix to gauge his reaction, seeing that his eyebrows was slightly raised. He then ignores Oliver's question all together, lighting a cigarette, his other hand on his girl's thigh.

Oliver cleared his throat, "You can't ignore me forever."

He immediately rebutted, "I can try."

"Felix, we need to talk." When Felix didn't move, Oliver became insistent, "Felix, come on!"

He sighed, reaching up to place the cigarette between his angel's lips. She gladly accepts, "Look, man, I tried to be nice, but can you fuck off and bother somebody else?"

The others in the room chuckled at the interaction as they did lines off the table and floor.

Oliver stood in the doorway for a while in thought, his eyes now falling to the angel on Felix's lap. He observed her. Watched her watching him. He then turned, leaving the bathroom.

"Who was that?" Someone asked.

…

"C'mon, Lex. I wanna dance!"

She pulled him through the crowd by his hand, his wings getting hit as he passed by people, muttering quick apologies. 

"Yes, angel, yes. I'll dance with you. Anything to get you close to me."

The music was blaring, the lights overstimulating, but they didn't care. They were two college kids in love, and nothing would stop them.

He pulled her to him, their bodies pressed close together as they began to dance. 

A frown suddenly pulled to her face.

He leaned down, trying to whisper but having to yell to communicated, "Angel? Are you alright?"

She nods, her eyes staring at something in the distance. 

He turned, following her gaze.

Oliver sat at the sidelines, hoarding a bottle all to him, drinking his problem away.

But it wasn't working.

Because he wouldn't quit looking at them.

And now they noticed.

Felix frowned as well, leaning down to her once more, his eyes not leaving Oliver's, "Fuck him. Don't let him ruin this for us."

She turned back to look at him, "I don't know…"

He laughed, "You got all pretty for me, angel! Let me enjoy it for the night, yeah? No need to worry about what's tomorrow's problem!"

She nodded, letting him pull her back to him.

As his hands began to wander, so were his thoughts. 

God, she was pretty. He was blessed by the gods above for sending an angel so pure and kind as this one. His own little pretty girl. His pretty angel.

A song ended, and Felix reached down, grabbing her hand. He started to pull her away, and she wouldn't resist.

…

They walked out towards the maze, holding hands. They exchanged giggles as the alcohol kicked in. 

When they neared the entrance, she stopped, "Do you know what you're doing, Lex?"

He nodded, "'Course, angel. Wouldn't take you here if I didn't." He kissed her head, pulling her once again.

They both entered the maze, happy and in love.

What they didn't know, was that Oliver had entered too.

…

What felt like hours later, and too many turns to count, the two lovers were now in a passionate kiss, their hands wandering over each others bodies. 

He pulled away just enough to speak, "…you want me, angel?"

She nodded, "please…"

He pulled away completely, holding her jaw in his hand, a grin on his face, "I need to hear you say it."

She looked up at him through her eyelashes, her voice soft, "I want you, Felix. Please."

That was all he needed.

They began to pull at each other's clothes, anything that would separate the two from each other. 

She reached up to pull off her halo, but his hand grabbed her wrist, "Don't."

She smiled into the kiss, pulling at his tank top.

Now, maybe half dressed, Felix pulled her up on to the base of the statue, holding her in place. Their kiss never broke as he began to move his fingers further down her body.

Her mouth opened slightly in an intake of breath as his gently pressed a finger into her core.

He smiled, his voice soft, "You can take it, angel. Feels good, yeah?"

She could only let out a whimper as he began to gently pump it in and out of her.

He whispered in her ear the entire time, his voice slightly gravely with lust, "Good… doing so good… stretching you out for me, baby… sweet girl…"

When two fingers were added, she pushed her head into his shoulder to avoid making too much noise.

He found it all amusing, watching her eyes close in concentration as her throat made small noises in pleasure.

When she was finally considered ready by his standards, he gently pulled his cock out. It was already hard at this point. It had been almost the entire night after seeing her in the outfit. 

He grabbed at her jaw again, "You're very sure, angel?"

She was a begging mess, her mind already mush, "please, Lex. Make me feel good, please…"

He smiled, "Anything for my angel."

He gently pushed his cock into her, both letting out a small hiss. 

She grabbed his biceps tightly, her eyes strunched a bit, trying to relax herself. 

His hand were on the bottom of her thighs, giving himself leverage, "… doing so good for me…"

He stopped when he bottomed out, giving her a moment to collect herself and adjust. He used this moment to kiss her neck softly, "God, being in you is like heaven."

And he began to thrust.

She let out small, soft little grunts and moans, her hands moving over his body in search of where to find relief. One hand eventually found his hair, pulling slightly as he let out a small, "oh, fuck."

Only the sound of skin pressed against one another was heard throughout the heart of the maze. 

"You're my angel… such a pretty little angel, aren't you?"

She whimpered, his cock hitting her g spot just right. 

"You're gonna cum for me, aren't you… ugh… good girl… cum for me…"

Her voice was barely heard, "…Lex…."

He grinned, his lips still kissing at her neck, "C'mon, pretty girl. You can give me one-"

Oliver's voice came from the bushes where they entered, "Felix…"

Felix stopped, staring at his sweet little angel, whose eyes were wide with fear. He sighed, "Oh, Jesus Christ!" He pulled his pants back to their original position, zipping them up. He turned around, covering her body with himself, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you?"

She placed a hand on Felix's back, her head peering over his shoulder, "Were you spying on us?"

"No, I wasn't." He began to walk forward. 

Felix stood a bit taller, continuing to block Oliver's view. "Mate, let the fucking lady get dressed. You sick fuck."

Oliver held his hands up, turning himself around. 

Felix quickly turned, helping his angel get redressed. 

Once done, he pulled her to him, gently kissing the top of her head. He leaned towards her, whispering in her ear once more, "…go to the bedroom. I'll be there."

She nodded, her eyes filled slightly with tears. She walked forward, going to move past Oliver.

Oliver reached out a grabbed her wrist. He pulled her to him, "May want to fix that." He straightened the halo on her head, watching her nervous reaction, "Wouldn't want people to think you're naughty, do you?"

Felix stepped forward, his voice dark and threatening, "Oliver…"

Oliver let go of the girl, a slight smirk on his face. 

She left the maze to go to the bedroom, having no idea Felix would never see his angel again. 

........................................................

#fanfiction #felix catton fanfic #felix catton imagine #felix catton smut #felix catton x reader #felix catton #jacob elordi angst #jacob elordi imagine #jacob elordi x reader #jacob elordi #saltburn smut #saltburn fanfiction #saltburn movie #saltburn 2023 #saltburn

[ohnoitstbskyen]

... y'all know Lae'zel is acting scared, right?

Video transcription: I've seen a lot of comments on my short about Lae'zel dismissing her entire character because she's mean and… I'm just checking in here… you guys know she's scared, right? She's terrified. She was kidnapped by the worst monster she knows, infected with the most horrifying death anyone in her culture can have, and then stranded on a hostile world, alone, with nothing to guide her except the dogmatic military cult indoctrination of a cruel lich demigod, telling her that her only hope of salvation is to follow Gith doctrine with total unyielding faith. And still she tries to save you. When she keeps insisting that you must get to the Githyanki crèche, it's our only hope, she's trying to guide you towards the only salvation she knows from the parasite, so she can share it with you. And Gith... aren't supposed to do that, saving an outsider is not part of the doctrine, she's breaking the rules trying to do right by you. None of that means she's not being an asshole, she's rude, dogmatic and unpleasant. But everything she does comes from a genuine, very misguided and abrasive, desire to do the right thing. It doesn't make her behaviour okay, but there is more to her character than just "being the mean one."

To expand on this a bit more than I can in a 60 second short, people acting from fear and from their damage is a major theme among the Baldur's Gate 3 companions.

Lae'zel is terrified and falling back on the only thing she believes will give her back some control over her situation, which is the dogma of the military cult she's in. Shadowheart is much the same, amnesiac and grasping on to the only solid thing she knows, which is her faith, which preaches deception, loss and duplicity as the only certain factors in life.

Gale is an inveterate people-pleaser desperately dependent on other people to help him feed his magic addiction, with his overtly affable exterior hiding a rolling boulder of guilt, ambition, greed, arrogance and legitimate hurt. Asterion is... well, no way to really lay out his deal without spoiling, but the boy has been through it and his self-destructive, hedonistic and selfish impulses are all coping mechanism and self-defense all the time.

None of that make their shitty behaviours okay, but in a fictional story, those kinds of flaws and toxic behaviours are what make for interesting stories and characters. I don't blame anyone for finding Lae'zel unpleasant and abrasive, but I do get a bit Old Man Yells At Cloud about people who casually brag about shoving her off a cliff-side, or murdering her because "she was a bitch" or whatever.

Like... being unable to face discomfort in your media is not a virtue, and lashing out reactively against fiction that doesn't validate your power fantasy isn't a flex.

Of course, I saw a lot of those reactions in YouTube comments and on social media, so my sample is biased by those algorithms, but still. A lot of people seem aggressively proud that they never engaged with her story because the terrified indoctrinated child-soldier wasn't immediately nice to them and I can't explain it but something about that reaction feels puritan to me.

#tbskyen #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #laezel #lae'zel #Youtube

[maybank-archives]

caught - jj maybank

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

warning: +18. NSFW CONTENT. MINORS DNI. sex. language. public sex. oral sex

word count: 1.4k

author’s notes: hi!! look who remembered the password to this blog!!! it's been a chaotic but gooooood couple of months, kinda fell out of my obx phase but I'm back and I miss writing sm!!! so to all my horny babes here's a unpublished piece (that was unfinished since october) hope yall enjoy!

masterlist | join the taglist |

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

every time you and JJ were caught.

occupied —

my back is pressed against the wall, JJ holds me tightly, his lips are pecking and biting the side of my neck as he buries himself inside of me. JJ’s hands cover my mouth as his thrust becomes faster.

I didn't even get the chance to get in the shower, my shorts were stuck on my knees, same thing with JJ. I suck him for 5 seconds before he pulls me on my feet and fuck me against the wall.

“y/n did you lock yourself?” Sarah’s voice rasped on the voice

I press my lips together concentrating on giving her an answer, but as JJ keeps pounding into me, I’m pretty sure she can hear my muffled cry.

“I’m gonna come princess, shit,” JJ whispers in my ear

“I…oh gosh, I'm good,” I squeeze out

JJ presses his body closer as he gives me his last thrusts, I look at him and see him control himself not to curse as he fills me with his cum.

“Are you sure?” Sarah insists

“YES,” that was for jj, who cupped my pussy and drew his fingers on my clit.

“for fucks sake, is JJ there with you?” I hear John B. shout at the door

He gives a little chuckle before giving the door a few thumps “Can no one get laid in this house?”

“y’all are disgusting, there's a bedroom, you know?”

“oh my god”

you hear the rest of them say outside, but my mind is far away from this reality and it's focused on JJ giving me an orgasm.

hammock —

we're both spread out in the hammock. it started with a massage, I swear.

It's a massage… on JJ’s dick.

bringing the blanket outside was an unintentional good idea. I threw on top of our lower bodies as my hand accidentally started stroking JJ's cock.

his body joint under my touch, I gave him the perfect amount of pressure, tugging his wet foreskin and sweeping up the beads of precum at the tip.

JJ gasps as I bring my hands to my mouth, giving it a nice lick and stroking him down again. but faster.

I could feel him getting closer. his eyes shut tight, his arms around me felt tense, and then…pope exited the chateau facing us, laying static on our back. too late, he realized JJ’s expression and the motion of my hands.

“Ew guys, c’mon, we all used this,” he says turning his back to us

I buried my face in JJ's neck laughing.

volume –

shoving her bikini bottom to the side, I grip her hips as y/n settles on top of me, slowly sinking. I could die watching her bounce on my cock.

I palm her tits as she rocks back and forth, using me to hit the spot that makes her whine.

speaking of whining, we're lucky that there's no one home, cause we're definitely not using our indoor voices.

her palms planted on my chest, as she supported herself. her nails buried in my skin as she moans.

“just like that baby, let me see you come,”

The dirty request makes her fasten the pace and bounce in circles. I clenched my ass trying to hold the climax.

“oh fuck, jj.” she cries while her legs shake, that's my signal.

I flip us over and bury myself deeper inside of her. groaning, I gave her rough thrusts, feeling her squeezing me.

“fuck baby, don't stop j,” her sweet moans send a bolt of heat to my balls. I rise on my knees, angling her hips watching her pussy slide back and forth as she grasps at the bedsheets. 

“yes, yes,” y/n gives me one less moan as she milks my shaft. my muscles clench as she climaxes and I come right away, painting.

“oh fuck, y/n,” I grunt as my body relaxes

“ayo, glad y'all are done, 'cause I need to sleep,” we hear John B shouting as he bangs into the wall.

“oh…no,” y/n says, hiding her face with her palms.

“too late to be shy, cupcake,”

beach —

The tent was mostly in darkness, but the moon's glow peeked through. Y/N slipped in so quietly that I barely noticed. She moved around, and I could sense her doing stuff, but I was too tired to pay much attention.

I gave her a little peak and sure thing, her topless self was taking her shorts out, she was looking for something but all I could care about was the fact that she was only in her bikini, in front of me.

Yep, my dick is semi-hard.

“Can I help you, princess?”

“Sorry babe, I thought you were already asleep,” She whispers

“Luckily, I’m not, otherwise who would appreciate this view?” I told her, sitting up and trying to be as silent as her.

“Yeah, as if,”

“You’re so beautiful,”

“Thank you J” she replied still looking around 

“I think what you’re looking for is inside my shorts”

“Huh?” Y/N furrowed her brows as she analyzed my expression, I shot her a malicious smile which made clear my intentions.

“Our friends are literally right there,” She whispered again 

“You could be quiet?”

“Can’t guarantee,”

“But I can. Blow me, since you’re already on your knees,”

Y/N covered her mouth to stop the giggle, when she looked at me again, I could see that her mind was made and that it was in the same place as mine.

She adjusted herself in front of me and pushed me to the floor, slowly dragging my shorts out. She put her hair in a ponytail and held my cock in her hand firmly.

I could come just with the sight of her topless self in front of me. I’m leaking already, making her hand slide easily on my dick, I adjust myself and roughly remember that the sand is not that comfortable to be laid on. Still, Y/N lowered herself and closed her mouth around the tip, slowly sucking, and my hips snapped involuntarily. 

She sucked me deeper into her mouth, almost to the base, I have to use all my force to not let a groan leave my lips when she chokes on me. Y/N keeps her pace slow but firm, I guess to not make any “suspect” sound.

My breath is heavy and my eyes shut, she releases me and I look down as her tongue glides along my hard-length cock.

“Fuckfuckfuck Y/N” I quietly curse

She uses both of her hands to stroke me and give my balls a nice squeeze, I can see her gaze darkening, she’s getting off and seems to be fighting off the urge to not ride me.

I know this look. I give her a signal to come closer.

“What?”

“Let’s fuck”

“No, not here.”

“I have the keys to the Twinkie,” 

“Then what are you waiting for?” She murmurs, cleaning the sides of her mouth, she slid into one of my shirts and I pushed my shorts back, exiting both of us, half-naked.

We successfully sneaked out and the only sound around us was the waves, I grabbed her hand and guided us far from the sand. 

As I open the doors, I look around and lock it behind us.

It all happened too fast, I slipped my tongue in her mouth and she desperately climbed on top of me, my shorts were now stuck to my ankles and Y/N’s bikini bottoms were pushed to the side.

Reaching for it, Y/N aligns my erection into her entrance and sinks in it.

Both of us let out a moan, feeling the pleasure fill our bodies, Y/N fastened her pace, bouncing on top of me, I’m too close for her, any minute I’m out, but since my girl is getting there I hold as much as I can.

“Mmm yes JJ, touch me”

I lifted my shirt out of her body and sucked and licked on her buds, she was bouncing and grinding her clit on me, it’s noticeable that she is getting there. The gasps and the nails digging on my tights confirm that.

With my free hand, I hold her waist and meet her halfway through her movements, each deep thrust sends me closer and closer to the edge. I can’t hold it any longer. Her moans are desperate and her whining is music to my ears.

“Y/n, fuck…”

Our breathing grows as our bodies slap together, and her mouth opens without making any sound, that’s my cue. I burst inside of her as her body shook on top of me. My last pound is weak leaking out of her.”

“Fuck baby, that was insane.”

“Thank God for the Twinkie.”

“More like than God for m-”

“JJ, I’m gonna kill you.” John B's voice echoes outside as he bangs the Twinkie door.

My bad, I guess.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

✧˚ . taglist ˚✧ (join here): @loverofmarsss | @jjmaybankisbae | @zxmbiegxrl | @hoeforstarkey24 | @itsme-98-blog | @everydaydreamer

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

© maybank-archives 2024 — no one has permission to copy or translate any of my works, if you see any of my work being reproduced in another platform please contact me! :)

#jj maybank #rudy pankow #jj mayback imagine #outerbanks #obx #obximagines #obx headcanon #outer banks #outerbanks headcanon #jj maybank headcanon #jj obx #jj outerbanks #maybank #jj maybank smut #headcanon #fanfic #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank blurb #jj outer banks #obx x reader #obx x you #obx x y/n #obx smut #obx imagine #obx blurb #outer banks x reader #outer banks smut

[highvern]

Work Me Out II

Pairing: Kim Mingyu x fem!reader

Genre: Smut, 18+

Warnings: simp gyu, car sex, protected sex, dom!gyu, brat!reader, spitting, choking, minor cock warming

Length: 2.5k

Note: happy 1k! i almost deleted this bc i hated it so y'all have to be extra nice to me about it (im joking) (not really) everyone say thank u @cheolism for beta-ing!

Remember: Tumblr runs on reblogs and I run on validation in the tags and comments :)

read part I

read more here

This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked!

“Hi!” 

“Hi,” Mingyu grins, dropping a kiss to your cheek before stepping back. “You look…”

He lifts your hand, encouraging a spin so he can fully appreciate the black slip dress gliding over your curves.

“Wow.”

“Wow?” You laugh as he pulls you closer, goosebumps rising under the palm at your bare spine.

“Beautiful,” he sighs into your lips. 

He kisses you deeper; crowing you against his chest with a hand at your back. The lull of Mingyu’s lips and cologne lower your defenses, mouth opening to welcome his tongue. But he pulls away just when things breach on the edge of more.

“We’re gonna miss our reservation.” He coos through a smile, dropping a consolatory peck to your nose.

“So?”

You try to bring him back but he dodges you easily, tipping his chin up until your only option is to leave a trail of kisses along his Adam's apple.

“I’d like to take you on at least one real date.” Mingyu argues.

He’d be more convincing if he wasn’t leaving fingerprints on your hips. But you think it's cute how he wants to wine and dine you. When you step back, you notice how his eyes glow the way they always do when met with approval. It’s cute, toes on the border of innocence; and it makes your knees crave the feeling of the hardwood floors so you can give him all the validation he can handle with his cock in your mouth.

But there will be more than enough time for that later.

“Wow, so eating Captain Crunch in our underwear after you defiled me wasn’t a date?” You gasp. “Okay. I see how it is.”

Mingyu snorts but plucks your jacket off the coat rack and holds it open to help you in. “Alright, drama queen. Let’s go.”

The drive is filled with chatter. Over the past week, the initial spark of attraction only grew between you; through chats at the gym, texting, or the one night he came to your apartment and ended up passing out on the couch while the movie continued to play in the background. Somehow it was more intimate waking up fully clothed, big spooning him with your face buried between his shoulder blades than having him drill your guts until tears streaked your face.

Since you slept over that first night, you’ve noticed a plethora of things that make you more fond of Mingyu. How he slurs his words when he’s excited, talking so fast you can barely decipher what he’s saying. If you throw a wink his way while walking across the gym his eyes go wide like he’s completely taken aback by your interest; as if he didn’t have a front seat to how much you liked him. Or if he notices you looking he’ll not so subtly flex or make a face that has you laughing so hard you nearly tumble off the treadmill. Or the way Mingyu prides himself on being a gentleman; pausing his workout and walking you to your car, insisting it's too dark out for him to be comfortable letting you go alone (partially because it's his fault your gym visits became a two hour endeavor since the night in the car, he just can’t stop distracting you in the name of getting to know you better).

It’s the same at the restaurant. Mingyu takes your coat and pulls out your chair. He asks for more details on the book you mentioned on the way over, asking if he can borrow your copy once you finish. He feeds you some of his entree off his fork, splits dessert to satisfy your sweet tooth, and nabs the check from the waiter before you can even think of offering to split the bill.

It’s almost too perfect; like he is running a checklist in his head. But Mingyu isn’t that kind of guy. His enthusiasm is just that, enthusiasm for spending time with you, getting to know you, picking your brain like you’re the most interesting person he’s ever met and he can’t wait to know more.

“How did you not know it was a couples class?” You ask, laughing into the curve of his arm as he walks you back to the car.

“It didn’t say it on the flier! It just said ‘portions for two’ and I thought that meant I’d leave with leftovers.”

“Wow. So Wonwoo got you banned and ate your food?”

“Wonwoo got me banned and neither of us gotta eat the food.”

The collar of Mingyu’s shirt flitters when his chest shakes with laughter, watching you down the slope of his nose. Like a flame in a vacuum, all the oxygen in your lungs is sucked up when you notice how good he looks even under the sterile overhead light. The glass of wine you sipped through dinner doesn’t help; turning your insides to mush and your blood to a boil.

Mingyu is so genuinely sweet you almost feel guilty for crowding him against his car and palming the zipper of his jeans. The taste of whiskey clings to his tongue, sucked away by your own until he opens the door and ushers you into the back seat.

“Mingyu,” you gasp, plucking the foil package from his grip. “Did you expect to fuck me tonight?”

“No,” he groans into the side of your tit, thanking whatever power in the universe exists that you hadn’t worn a bra. “But a man should always be prepared.”

You snort, “Okay, ‘Mr. I don’t sleep with girls I don’t date.’”

“I think that's former ‘Mr. I don’t’ whatever the fuck,” he moans as he finds your mouth.

Fishing his cock out from his underwear, you lazily jerk him to full mast. Mingyu’s hip buck into the swipe of your thumb. You’d drop your mouth to suck away the mess  collecting there but the back seat of his car doesn’t provide much room since your date claims most of the space already. Instead, you settle for tracing your tongue across the raised veins webbing across his neck and nipping at the sensitive lobe of his ear.

“Shit, shit, shit.”

Mingyu paws at your ass, fingers digging into the flesh and dragging your covered core closer to his cock. His other hand dips beneath your skirt, thumb swiping at your clit and two thick fingers pushing aside the scrap of fabric posing as underwear to stretch you open without preamble.

“Fuck, you’re so wet.” Mingyu pants.

You meet every curl of his fingers with a whine, face falling into the cradle of his jaw as he works you up. He’s everywhere; all you can feel, touch, taste. Even his cologne floods your nose; the scent of powdery spice and something intrinsically him that you can’t name.

Whether intentional or not, the match of pace isn’t lost on your mind as your fist sinks over Mingyu’s length the same time he stuffs you with his digits; fucking you by proxy while his tongue licks away every sound of satisfaction before it can make its way between your lips.

Before long, Mingyu bats away your hand to use his own. The second the latex is rolled down he holds himself for you, offering his cock like a prize you can’t refuse.

And he’s right.

The initial discomfort trickles up your spine. Eyes closed, chest caved, you take every inch as Mingyu whispers praise after praise into your neck. Twitching in each other’s hold, each clench of your cunt dips his stomach until you pull him back to your mouth and goad him with a demanding draw against his tongue with your own; a wet suckle more obscene than the way he splits you has him returning the gesture with fervor.

Hips finding a jilted rhythm, Mingyu manages to latch to one of your nipples, teeth razing along the sensitive skin until you nearly collapse from the delightful pain.

Arching into his chest so hard it hurts, your voice cracks, “Oh, Gyu.”

“Good girl,” he groans into your chest.

The hand on your ass pulls you across his cock, forcing you down with each of his thrusts up. Mingyu’s loud but you’re louder and the abandoned top floor of the parking deck doesn’t provide any disguise from what’s happening behind the foggy windows of his SUV. 

As sexy as you are with your head thrown back, desperately moaning his name, the fear of getting caught is starting to suffocate him.

You beat against his chest when Mingyu pins you in place. He crushes you flat against him, pelvis to pelvis, so deep you feel him in your throat. Tight around the stretch, he nearly loses his train of thought but finds it when an involuntary rush of his thighs makes you squeak.

He brushes his thumb across the apple of your cheek in an effort to quell the bubbling tantrum behind your eyes. “Shhh,” he whispers. “We can't get caught.” 

Time stops as you come to a crossroads. Eye to eye, you can see him waiting for a signal. If you want to stop, drive thirty minutes back to either of your apartments, and then go at it like rabbits, Mingyu will do it. If you want him to stop, drop you off at your doorstep, and send him home with the worst hard on of his life, he’ll smile through the tears. But if you want to finish what you’ve both started in the discomfort of the back seat, Mingyu needs you to be quiet.

So you can listen without complaint, bury your face in the column of his neck and bite your lip until it bleeds from strain. Or you can let Mingyu decide the best course of action.

“Then shut me up.” 

A beat of absolute silence rattles your shaking confidence. Mingyu’s eyes widen, jumping back like he’s been burned but you fake courage until you spot the way he licks his teeth at the idea.

Whatever permission he’s looking for he finds in the slight dip of your chin. You watch Mingyu’s mood shift in an instant. The playful tilt of his lips melt away, the corners of his eyes freeze over their usual humor. And the arm around the dip of your waist squeezes so tight you fear he’ll leave a bruise in the shape of his palm.

The hand on your face falls to your jaw, pinching your cheek between his pointer finger and thumb as he tsks, forcing your head back and forth mockingly before he forces his thumb between your teeth.

“Shut. Up.” 

He punctuates his command with a bruising thrust of his cock; thrilled at the way his thumb digging into your tongue chokes any sound. The hand on your ass nearly rips your underwear as Mingyu uses it to guide your hips, keeping you bouncing in his lap until you're drooling.

Mingyu’s teeth rake against your jaw, “Touch yourself.”

You clumsily snake a hand down, hips jerking under the blind swipe of fingers at your core. Eyes unfocused, ears filled with the rush of blood, you don’t resist the urge to bite his thumb just to see what he’ll do next.

The sting of his palm against your ass isn’t a shock.

But the wet of his fingers on your throat is.

And when Mingyu squeezes, cutting off the blood to your brain for a second in a show of possessive strength, your choked wail is music to his ears.

“Fuck, you like that?”

Nodding like a bobble head, more pathetic whimpers fill the car. 

With a shift of weight, he makes you grind against his lap, the metal of his belt buckle cutting into the back of your thighs. But you’re full to the brink of shredding apart you can’t bring yourself to care. Heat in the pit of your stomach blooms, used and deep.

Mingyu fans his hand along your throat, fingers digging into the jut of your jaw to make you look at his face. His hair is a mess, cheeks rosy with sweat at his hairline. A low rumble in his throat is all the warning you get before he spits on your lips and it glides down your chin; slipping under his palm while he squeezes until stars dance in your vision.

Hips stuttering, everything draws tight; every muscle, every vein, each individual cell contracts and detonates until Mingyu fucks into your so hard your head hits the roof as he flails. Thighs firm against the top of his, you feel each sputter into the condom.

“Mingyu,” you croak, throat wrecked.

Everything feels heavy and worn when he brings you into the warmth of his chest. Somehow, you hadn’t managed to undo a single button beyond the four that let you peek at the dip between his pecs; but the friction of his shirt against your sensitive chest makes you shiver. Sweat and spit leave the fabric clinging uncomfortably but you don’t have the energy to change it.

“Jesus Christ.” Mingyu draws in a heavy breath, and the motion has your legs twitching again. “You okay?”

Nodding into his neck, your eyes slip shut. If he keeps tracing shapes on your back, you’re in serious trouble of falling asleep right there in the back of his car with his softening length still inside you. Attempting to prevent the momentum from taking over, you rise on your knees, only for Mingyu to bring you back down.

“Just…just let me hold you for a second.” he sighs, sounding as exhausted as you feel. “Please.”

Peppering languid kisses across his face, down the curve of his cheek, up the bridge of his nose, you smile when he pouts at the lack of attention to his lips. But when you meet them with your own, it's nearly impossible to call it a kiss from the sleepy grins splitting your faces.

“Wanna come back to mine?” Mingyu whispers into your cheek, leaving his own series of kisses. “We can watch that new horror movie you were talking about.”

“You hate scary movies.”

“Oh no, I guess you’ll have to stay the night in case I can’t sleep.”

“How awful!” You mock. “Did you buy more cereal?”

“Mhm.”

With a monumental sigh, “Then I guess I can come over.”

It takes nearly fifteen minutes to find the courage to unwind from each other. Mingyu distracts you by tracing shapes between your shoulder blades and making you guess his artistic interpretation. Each time you're wrong he demands a kiss. Each time you're right he gives you one back.

When you make him guess what your finger burns into his shoulder he nearly faints before deciding it's time to head home, hands intertwined over the center console the entire way.

Taglist: @tomodachiii @cvpidyunho @miniseokminnies @ddaengpotate @arycutie @gaebestie @primoppang @gyuguys @mine-gyu @doremifasire @missminhoe @toplinehyunjin @crvs4vldtn @prettygyuuu

© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.

#svthub #ksmutsociety #kvanity #svt x reader #kim mingyu x reader #mingyu smut #kim mingyu #svt smut #seventeen smut #kim mingyu smut #🫡 highvern

[musical-chick-13]

@ terfs: MY RELATABLE FANDOM MEMES ARE NOT FOR YOU

MY POSTS ABOUT FEMINISM ARE NOT FOR YOU

NOTHING ON THIS BLOG IS FOR YOU I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU, TALK TO YOU, OR BE AWARE OF YOUR PRESENCE DO NOT COME HERE

#obviously I don't say this enough because one of them just snuck in and I had to block that person #so here is me letting you know what my stance is #(it shouldn't even have to BE a 'stance' the existence and rights of a marginalized group is not an opinion it's just something that should #be acknowledged and acted upon but y'all insist on being clowns (derogatory) so here we are) #tw: transphobia mention #(just in case)

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Haircut

Summary: Javi thinks that he's way past due for a haircut. You like his hair long for reasons other than his good looks.

Word Count: 2.1K (I sprinted to write this after I saw this picture)

Pairing: Husband!Javi x Wife!Reader (no use of y/n, reader's nickname is Osita)

Warnings: SMUT (18+) Oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, praise kink, (lovingly?) possessive Javi, Javi's back at again with his filthy mouth, hair pulling, Javi is hungry and the man is gonna EAT, allsions to more smut, Jonas Brother's references ( bc Javi is our girl dad king and his daughters love them LMAO)

A/N: Y'ALL REALLY THOUGHT THIS PICTURE OF PEDRO WAS SURFACE RIGHT HERE ON TUMBLR DOT COM AND I WASN'T GONNA DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?!? WRONG. I legit have 3 WIPS I started in the past 24 hours based on this picture alone. Pedro really did this one for the Javier Peña girlies (gn) and I will forever be in debt to him for that. You cannot tell me that this is Dad!Javi when his kids are a little bit older bc HOLY SHIT?! This really may the nail in the coffin for @notjustjavierpena and I bc really fear this is the dilfiest Husband Javi has ever looked 😩😵‍💫 anyways, never getting over this!!!!

Series Masterlist Never Too Late Masterlist

“God, I can’t even remember the last time my hair has been this long. Lucy keeps saying I look like a Jonas Brother. Am I supposed to know who they are? Is that supposed to be a good thing?” Javi sighed, playing with his dark brown curls in the bathroom mirror as you snuck up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist, peeking out to watch your husband’s longer than usual locks twist between his fingers. 

“They’re the goofy looking boy band on Disney Channel that the girls are obsessed with. Like the Backstreet Boys, except cooler, apparently.” You laughed, planting a soft kiss into the fabric of Javi’s worn t-shirt covering his broad back before stepping next to him, leaning your hip against the bathroom counter to admire your husband as he fiddled with his hair. 

“Jesus Christ, those guys? God, I really do need a haircut before I start looking like the poster what’s-his-face hanging on Lucy and Elliot’s walls.” Javi chuckled, running his hand through his hair once more before mirroring you, his hip resting against the counter, leaning his weight on his palm splayed flat along the granite surface. 

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think he’s supposed to be the best looking one.” You teased, giving Javi a playful shrug. “Besides, I like your hair long.” 

“Seriously?” Javi asked, raising an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms over his chest in protest. “It looks like a mop right now.” 

“A very sexy mop.” You smirked, nudging Javi before stepping closer into him, reaching up to run your hand through his curls, slowly twisting the ends with your fingers. “It reminds me of that trip we took to Jamaica a few years ago. Your hair was almost this long, remember? You looked so hot in those stupid floral button downs you insisted on buying, and hanging out shirtless by the pool all day while you played with the girls.” 

“Fuck, I forgot about that. I’m surprised we didn’t end up with a fourth kid after that trip.” Javi chuckled, slowly shifting the palm that had been holding him up towards your waist, letting his fingers gently toy with the waistband of your pajamas. “You really like my long hair that much?” 

“Mhmmmm.” You cooed, continuing to close the gap between your bodies, your free hand resting on Javi’s chest as the other continued to stroke his curls. You could feel a low groan rumbling in Javi’s throat as your fingers weaved back and forth through his hair, the other creeping up to cradle his jaw, thumb tracing back and forth across the stubble on his cheek. 

“Yeah? What else do you like about it?” Javi groaned, his hand slipping under the elastic waistband of your pants to grab a fistfull of your ass, kneading the soft flesh in his hand. 

“I like…” You paused, bringing your lips to Javi’s, pressing a tender kiss on his lips, “I like that it gives me something extra to hold on to.” 

“Hold on to?” Javi asked, cocking his head in slight confusion. 

“Hold on to when you go down on me. I love being able to run my hands through your hair when you eat me out, especially when it’s long like this.” You smirked, watching Javi’s eyes go wide in delight, a devilish grin spreading across his face as he bit down on his lip. 

Before you could say anything else, Javi’s hands were gripping around your waist and hosting you up to sit on the counter, caging his body against yours, hands planted around the outside of your hips while his lips crashed into yours, your mouths becoming a tangled mess of tongue and teeth. 

“Fuck…” Javi whispered to himself, pulling away from your lips to pepper kisses down your jaw and neck, running his hands over your thighs. “I love it when you play with my hair, Hermosa. Love feeling you pull on it when you’re close. Makes me lose my fucking mind every time. Fuck, I’d stay burried between your legs forever if I fucking could.” 

Javi began to let his kisses trail down your body, past your chest and across your stomach before he was dropping to his knees in front of you, draping your legs across the width of his shoulders. Pulling at your waistband, you lifted your hips off the counter so your pajamas and underwear could fall to the floor, revealing the wetness that had been pooling between your thighs since you had walked into the bathroom a few minutes ago. 

“Jesus Christ…” Javi whispered, further parting your legs to see the arousal already dripping through your folds, staring up at you with a boyish grin on his face, “So fucking wet for me, Hermosa. Didn’t realize you liked my hair that much.” 

“Oh shut up you goof, you know I- o-oh fuck-” You whimpered, Javi cutting off the rest of your sentence as the flat of his tongue dragged across your cunt, the suddent sensation making you gasp in delight, already playing in to Javi’s plan as your hand shot down to his head, digging your fingers into his messy hair. 

“Better hold on tight, querida. There’s a lot more where that came from.” Javi smirked, pulling away just enough to see the smug smile between his cheeks, peppering a few wet kisses on the inside of your thighs before his head was back between your legs, placing a soft kiss on your clit, already aching and throbbing for more of what you had just been promised. 

“Do your worst, Peña.” 

That one sent a low growl of approval humming through his chest, laughing to himself as his hands gripped tighter around your thighs, fingertips digging into the soft flesh of your skin before another slow, broad stroke of his tongue was traveling through your folds. 

While you were truly convinced there wasn’t another man who loved going down on their wife more than your husband did, you could always tell when Javi wanted nothing more than to stay buried between your thighs, making you cum over and over until you were begging him to stop, lapping up every last drop of you until there was nothing left to give, and right now, you already knew Javi meant what he said when you were about to have to hold on for dear life. 

The hand buried in the dark waves of Javi’s hair only began to tug tighter as his tongue began to work meticulously across your cunt, pressing just enough pressure against your sensitive bundle of nerves to already have you a squirming, whimpering mess, but painstakingly slow enough to have you begging for more. 

“Javi… Oh, shit. Fuck, more baby, please. P-please.” You moaned, looking down at Javi with what you were already sure was a wrecked expression painted across your face. 

You could practically feel Javi’s smug smirk pressed against your cunt as he eased one, then two fingers into your aching core, curling them to bump against the spongy spot inside you that already had you fisting at the edge of the bathroom counter to try and keep your composure, and better yet, your voice down. 

“Oh my god, f-fuck. You feel so good, baby.” You moaned, feeling the strong arch of Javi’s nose bumping against your clit, placing a soft kiss there before the flat of his tongue licked another long, broad stroke across your cunt, putting just the right amount of pressure on your sensitive bundle of nerves as his fingers worked in tandem to send the sweet tingling sensation to start building in your spine. 

“Fuck, I love this perfect pussy so much. I still can’t believe she’s all fucking mine. My perfect fucking wife. Tell me, Hermosa, whose pussy is this?” Javi asked, pulling away for you to see your slick covering his mustache and the lustful look pooling in the dark brown of his eyes, the quiet possessiveness of his tone making your cunt clench even tighter around his fingers as they continued to pulse in and out of you. 

“It’s y-yours, Javi, It’s all- fuck- It’s all yours.” You whined, your breath hitching in your throat as you spoke. 

“And who’s the only one who makes you feel like this, huh?” Javi tutted, sliding a third finger into your heat, the sweet stretch and sting making you let out a ragged whimper as you threw your head back in pleasure. 

“Y-you- Jesus- Y-you are, Javi.” 

“And who’s gonna be a good girl and soak my face when she cums for me?” 

“M-me.” 

“That’s fucking right, you are.” Javi growled before diving back between your legs, working his tongue relentlessly against your clit, circling and flicking in fast and firm motions as his fingers curled deeper into your core, eating you up like a man starved, desperate to make you fall apart. 

You could already feel the coil in your stomach beginning to tighten from the way Javi was working so relentlessly to make you come undone, drinking every ounce of you up as his lips latched around your sensitive bundle of nerves, making your back arch and mind go blank while that all too familiar tingle began to creep through your core, cunt beginning to clench tighter and tighter around him. 

At this point, your fingers were tugging so tightly around the soft, brown curls of his locks to try and hold yourself together, that you were convinced that you were close to pulling his hair out of his skull, but with the way you were on the brink of collapse from the way Javi’s mouth was working against your cunt, you almost didn’t have a choice. 

“Fuck, Javi. Oh shit- Baby, I’m so close. Don’t stop.” 

“I won’t stop, mi amor. Won’t stop until this pretty pussy fucking soaks me.” Javi mewled, peeking his head out from under you just enough so that his sweet, brown eyes were locked with yours, the hot words of his breath dancing against your pussy as his fingers continued to rock in and out of you. “I’ve got you, Osita. Promento. Damelo, bebita. (I promise. Give it to me, baby).” 

Before you could respond, your jaw dropped open and face scrunched in pleasure as Javi dove back in, burying his face in your cunt as each press of his tongue became more firm and precise than the last, feeling your pussy begin to flutter as you clutched tighter around the edge of the counter, trying to keep from screaming out in pleasure and raise any suspicion. But as your legs began to tremble and your heart race, teetering on the brink of collapse, it was taking every ounce of willpower you had left to make that happen.

“Fuck, Javi. Fuck, I- fuck- I’m gonna, I’m gonna-ahhhhhh.” You whimpered, feeling your orgasm crash through you, pleasure radiating in your veins as you fell apart, losing all inhibitions to keep yourself quiet as you threw your head back in all consuming bliss. With his fingers still buried in your cunt, gently working you through your high, Javi shot back up, his mouth engulfing yours in an electric kiss to try and capture your ragged moans that had been coating the walls of the bathroom, the tangy taste of you still lingering on his lips. 

Your heartbeat finally began to slow, your chest heaving in long, heavy breaths as you slumped into Javi, your head resting on his shoulder as your hands stayed buried deep in his hair, grasping onto his now sweat-dampened ends to try and pull yourself back down to reality.

After a few moments of letting you come to, Javi gently pulled out his fingers, all three drenched and glistening with your slick, pulling them out and bringing them to his mouth, sucking them clean with a devilish smirk of satisfaction on his face. 

“God, you taste so fucking sweet. You really weren’t kidding about the hair, huh Hermosa?” Javi chuckled, cupping your jaw to cradle your cheek with his broad palm, forcing your gaze up at him. 

“I told you.” You giggled softly, still trying to catch your breath as you smiled at him, pulling him in for another long, tender kiss. “Hottest looking Jonas Brother I’ve ever seen.” 

The two of you burst out into laughter, practically snorting at your comment, taking a second to compose yourselves as Javi crossed his arms over his chest, rolling his eyes at you. 

“If that’s the fucking case, I’m getting out the clippers tonight.” 

“Not until you take me to bed and do this all again, you aren’t.” 

taglist:

@chaotic-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr @amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild @copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @pigeonmama @pedr0swh0r3

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal character #narcos fanfiction #javier peña #javi peña x reader #javi pena #javier pena #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena fic #javier pena fluff #javier pena imagine #javier pena narcos #javier pena smut #javier pena x f!reader #javier pena x female reader #javier pena x you #javier pena x reader #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña smut #javier peña x f!reader #javier peña x female reader #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #javier peña narcos #narcos #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedrohub #pedropascal