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zerobaseone-zhanghao · 4 months

Text

slight favouritism

t/w: favouritism, tatter gets a bit rowdy but mainly fluff

a/n: I hope you guys liked my first post and I’m back with another.

I am taking requests if anyone has any!

=====================================

After winning SWF2, bebe wanted a change to their group, they wanted a new member so they held auditions - they’re newest member is the second oldest, born in 1997, Y/N.

You are known to be a very sweet and bubbly girl who when she dances becomes very powerful and sexy, it’s no surprise that you immediately caught the attention of bebe’s leader Bada.

Bada was excited to have another older member especially since she had always felt a little out of place being the only member born in the 90s whilst all the others were born in the 2000s.

It was fair to say that Bada and you connected very quickly and people would always comment that you were glued at the hip. You loved dancing together and you became a known duo for the fans.

The fans started calling you the puppy and the cheetah cub (Bada being the puppy & you being the cub) when they saw that baby cheetahs in zoos were given puppies to help them, fans thought that your personalities were similar and it was so cute to see you always together.

Bada had taken a major liking to you, I mean she developed a little crush on her fellow member. As soon as Bada realised this, she panicked. She spoke to the other bebe members who thought it was so cute and they told Bada that she should tell you about her feelings.

Bada thought of the consequences you could face from dating if they were to break up or even if Bada was rejected, Bada didn’t want it to be uncomfortable for you or you to feel that you had to leave the group for the sake of the other members so she decided that confessing was the wrong thing to do and she would just wait for her feelings to settle.

Ever since she made her decision, anyone and their mother could tell that Bada was playing favourites (or more like favourite) during their group practices, if others continued to get moves wrong, she would be angry and force them to do it over and over with no breaks until they got it right but with you it was different, she never got angry at you, even if Bada did accidentally raise her voice, one pout from you would melt her and she would apologise over and over, giving you hugs.

You knew you were the favourite and you didn’t use it to you advantage, if someone got the moves wrong and Bada makes the group do it again, you won’t sit out, even when Bada tells says you can, you will continue with the group until everyone does it right. However, the bebe members also know about the favouritism and that is where the problem lies, they understand that their leader likes you but she is so blatant in the favouritism, at first the girls stayed quiet, until one of them couldn’t take it any longer.

Bada was running late to practice, she went to pick up coffee from a cafe near to her house that she knows you like, but it wasn’t coffee for all of them, it was just two, one for her and one for you. The other girls had already started the practice without Bada but it was difficult, they couldn’t come up with ideas, they were making so many mistakes and all talking over one another. Eventually when Bada arrived, all hell broke loose.

“Unnie where have you been?” Tatter asks, her face contorted and exhausted “I was just getting coffee” “oh unnie thank you, it’s much needed” Tatter went to grab one when Bada pushes her hand away, “these are for me and Y/N”. Tatter’s face falls even further than before which you take note of, “oh actually I’m okay Tatter you can have mine, I know you’ve really been looking forward to a coffee” you offer, hoping that the situation resolves.

“Thank you unnie!” Tatter states, smiling at you, situation resolved, yeah.. no. “Bada unnie, can I talk to you outside?” Tatter asks, continuing to be respectful despite her anger “sure” they step outside and Bada closes the door behind them. All members par you step to the door to eavesdrop on their conversation, however they didn’t even need to be up at the door to hear the back and forth yelling.

“THE FAVOURITISM HAS TO STOP” “WHAT FAVOURITISM?” “THE FAVOURITISM FOR Y/N IT’S SO OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE THAT YOU LOVE HER” “KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN” “WHY SHOULD I?!” “SHE’LL HEAR YOU” “GOOD SHE SHOULD KNOW HOW YOU FEEL BY NOW”

The bebe members turn to you knowing that you just heard all that, your jaw drops, Bada likes you. This is insane. Lusher opens the practice room door revealing your shocked face to Bada and Tatter outside the door which immediately makes them quiet. Tatter feels so bad that she just outed Bada’s secret to you and Bada is so scared that you’ll reject her.

“Umm, Bada unnie I think we need to talk alone” you tell her “yeah we do” Bada says breathily, preparing herself for the worst. You grab her hand and take her to the break room, luckily no one is there. “Do you really like me like that?” Bada is so scared, she thinks about lying to you but she just can’t “yes I do, and if you want to reject me or if you need time to think then I-“ you cut her off with a kiss. You love Bada, you always have, you were just so shocked she liked you back “I always liked you, I just never thought you liked me back” you tell her “was the slight favouritism not enough of a sign?”, you kiss again, you hear cheers and look over to see the bebe members watching through the little glass strip of window on the door to the break room. “They just watched us kiss” your face goes red and you hide in Bada’s chest while she wraps her arms around you.

#bada lee x reader #bada x reader #swf2 x reader

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billskeis · 5 months

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can you do smut with 2014 or 2015 Bill

ᡣ𐭩 bill's faux fur coat

bill and the rest of tokio hotel were filming a new music video, they were back for a new era and you were for sure they were gonna kill it! the five of you were chilling in the dressing room, prepping and looking for outfits to wear at the shooting.

“how’s this jacket meine liebe?” bill asks.

bill pulls out a long faux fur coat, the pattern on it adorned that of a cheetah. or maybe a snow leopard? who knows. your eyes widened at how amazing such a piece was on its own.

over the course of the years you and bill have been together, his style has changed quite a bit, more frequently.

bill has been able to explore a more ambiguous type of wear that he’s always dreamt of, since society is now more open and welcoming in comparison to the past.

“i love it!” you exclaim clapping your hands together, bill does a twirl for you as you giggle admiring your boyfriend, “touch the jacket y/n! it’s soo soft,” “oh wow, it feels almost real,” “you know i would NEVER get real fur though,” “i know i know, you’re such a sweetie bill,” “you know i am,” bill smirks at you.

while going into the shoot, your eyes were glued onto bill. who while wearing the jacket, wore nothing underneath it. pants, obviously, but he has no top on.

this reveals the multiple tattoos he curated over the years, your personal favourite was his chest piece, he got that tattoo twinning with tom whose tattoo was the same above his elbow.

not only did it show his tattoos, but his one nipple piercing that you swore you hated but it seemed to have grown on you.

not to mention, bill wore low rise jeans that revealed a section of his happy trail, which, bitch..

had you drooling.

“i want it,” you said out of the blue, “h-huh?” one of the managers replied to your strange comment, “the jacket. i want it after the shoot, can i have it?” you plead looking straight into the stylist’s eyes who dart a confused look at the manager, “i don’t see why not, we won’t need it after this,” you smile brightly at this, “oh thankyouthankyou!!”

bill came running backstage after the filming was finished and brought you into a hug off your feet, spinning you around, “babybaby how was i!?” “just perfect bill! but take this jacket off—i’m going home by the way,”

bill pouts as he begins removing the clothing garment, handing it to you. you put the jacket on immediately and snuggle into it.

“so soon?” he questions giving you his puppy dog eyes, you usually couldn’t resist but it was for his own good, “uhhh yeah! i gotta’ start dinner, see you?” “awww okay baby but i expect my favourite!” he places a kiss on your cheek as he walks away for another outfit change.

it’ll be his favourite alright.

8:36pm

filming done schatzi! coming home rn

8:37pm

okkk :)

8:45pm

u don’t sound 2 happy D:

8:51pm

nonsense billy! just cookin.. come home quicker ;)

9:01pm

omw asap <3

the sound of keys turning can be heard through the apartment hallway of which you shared with bill. as the door turned open bill closed it behind him and turned to where his eyes met something, or rather someone filling the usually empty hallway.

there you stood, in the jacket. in the jacket that he wore during the shoot. what was under the jacket?

nothing, the only thing you wore was your panties, each jacket flap covering both your tits, only middle cleavage showing.

“y-y/n! what’re you doing baby someone could see you..” you giggle as bill ushers you further away from the front door despite it already being closed.

his attempts to close the jacket in front of you proves useless as you pry his hands and arms away from your body, twirling in all your glory as the jacket flies from the gust of wind you create exposing your body momentarily.

“meine liebe.. you’re driving me nuts.. what’s for dinner?”

“me.”

“s’much bill! you’re being too rough!” “yea? well, you’re being such a fucking brat.. s’not what you wanted?? didn’t wanna be under me and have this pussy fucked??” bill pistons his hips into yours, abdomen constantly teasing your clit every time he brought his body closer to yours.

it’s the second time you came. before this, he played and teased with your tits, nipples puffy, definitely way more sensitive than before and heavy dark hickeys left all over the surface area.

bringing his lips to yours, bill kisses you deeply. the kiss was filled with sex, he’s rough and not sweet, sucking on your bottom lip which was for sure going to be a little swollen after. you run your tongue over his two lip piercings and he scoffs.

“still wanna continue your antiques huh?” bill lifts up one of your legs for better leverage and fucks closer to your cervix, “o-oww.. bill,” “oh please, i warned you beforehand but you want things your way. such a whore for me huh..”

he drags his length in and out of your cunt, nice and slow, but his thrusts are hard, and unexpected. still keeping a rhythm, he thrusts, edging himself slightly so he can pump you with more of his load.

“gonna come, come with me baby..” he now brings his other hand to leave circles on your clit while his latter still straddles your leg, “oh fuuuck bill!”

you convulse as electricity pulses through your body, third time coming. the pressure being too much as your squirt sprays a bit of bill’s pelvis while he fucks you through your orgasm, “shit!”

feeling how you clench around bill, he can’t help but come right after you, fucking his cum deep into you as it shoots within your cervix.

he takes himself out of you and watches how his cum ribbons out your cunt, giving it a little slap, “a-ah!” “get up schatzi, not done with you..”

with the little strength you have left in your body, you sat upright against the headboard. bill, a little higher than you inches his hips closed to your mouth, dick still stiff.

he uses his hand to guide the tip of his head to your mouth, rubbing it side to side on your bottom lip, “open,” he demands and you widen your mouth cavity to welcome in his length.

he glides his dick in and out your throat, mouth agape to let out such whorish moans. you mentally question whether it’s you the whore or bill.

you ensure your tongue remains still against the bottom of your mouth to lick clean bill’s shaft. tasting bitter, you take in a mixture of your’s and bill’s cum.

“fuck y/n.. you do so well f’me, love you so much, stick your tongue out more yea?” and that you do, as he places his tip onto your tongue, you jerk the rest of his shaft to a rhythm he particularly likes.

as you can feel him shake and see his hips jerk slightly under your touch, bill can’t help but moan “u-ugh fuck, coming..!” whimpering, bill shoots ropes of come onto your tongue, thick, and surprisingly a lot.

riding out his high, he finishes, breathing heavy. you close your mouth to ingest all of bill, sticking out your tongue to your boyfriend who smiles down at you proudly. he brings himself a little bit lower to wipe the sweat off your forehead and gives you a quick peck.

“thank you baby, so proud of you,” “mm, now what’re we going to do about the jacket..?” you both look at each other and the state of how the jacket was left in.

matted, dirty, definitely stained or soaking in.. well god knows what, you guys only had it for one day yet it was already fucking ruined.

“let’s see what time dry-cleaning opens tomorrow.”

#tokio hotel #tokio hotel x y/n #tokio hotel x you #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel smut #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz x y/n #bill kaulitz x you #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz smut #2000s #fyp

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yois2aki · 2 months

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੭୧ chishiya with a reader who likes gift giving... . ۫

chishiya shuntaro x gn!reader (requested)

— warnings: fluff, ooc chishiya, beach arc, love confession, shy chishiya ohhh....

— summary: your gift giving and weird fact telling habit seemed to catch chishiya's attention. that was until it got too much to him.

— word count: 1.3k

people could tell you had a habit of collecting things that caught your interest in the most random occurrences. the motive had never been elucidated, as you wouldn't mind the others staring.

coming home from games tired and exhausted was part of your weekly routine. sometimes, you would refuse to take the car back to the beach just to breathe some air and later walk back by yourself.

it was unusual for you to come back empty-handed. during your time in the borderlands, you found out that gift giving was a pretty easy way for you to show your affection towards others. and even though sometimes you'd look at a pretty rock and mention it to kuina, or tell mira a random fact you heard about some time back in the real world, nothing compared to the surprises you'd prepare, chishiya.

you have noticed, way before even getting close to him, that he does not seem to get fazed by anything. if he complimented you, that'd be a reason for your sleep to be slightly better than the other nights.

knowing that about him, you made it your daily goal to try and steal a reaction from him. from the littlest things, like telling him all about how you learned that cheetahs don't roar but instead meow and purr. to more thoughtful stuff, like gifting him a personally handmade butterfly origami you spent an hour trying to figure out.

chishiya didn't understand the point of all this effort you took to catch him by surprise. why you were so devoted to making him seem happier. he had lost interest in life a long time ago. so why did he look forward to your every day's information?

"it's for you," you said, handing him a roughly made bouquet of red, white, and yellow flowers you plucked from a garden. "i don't have a place to keep them, and you seem like a much more responsible person for treating flowers."

chishiya knew that wasn't the real reasoning behind it, since your little presents and surprises every day had already become something he expected. he took the poorly made bouquet in his hands, which didn't really look like a bouquet, just a bunch of flowers gathered around.

he kept his eyes on them for a while, almost becoming philosophical from looking at them. he seemed to recognize this kind of plant; however, his memory betrayed him.

"these flowers are called chrysanthemus," you started, biting your lip in apprehension, in case he thought the idea of gifting him a bouquet was stupid. "or simply mums, or chrysanths."

chishiya didn't really know what to say. every single gift you had given him so far were simple things he found amusing but didn't pay much attention to. however, for some reason, being gifted a bouquet seemed to make his heart throb a little faster. he couldn't help but imagine the scenario in his head. you, contently plucking the flowers out of their natural spot and wrapping them together, thinking of him while doing so.

if he were with you at that moment, he probably wouldn't have minded it as much as he does now. instead complaining about the fact you're disturbing the eco system and urging you to leave the plants be. but he couldn't bring himself to be upset with you right now, not while you were so shyly giving him a bouquet of flowers.

"did you know these are native to east asia?" you commented, and he started listening intently. "however, the center of diversity is in china. i was quite lucky to find them."

chishiya felt like he should say something. perhaps a snarky remark on how you really gave yourself the need to study flowers well enough to recognize them, or maybe a lighter response like a simple thank you and a smile. but no coherent sentences could be formed in his mind, let alone out of his mouth.

at this point, he felt like even the flowers were judging him, given how silent the whole room felt. chishiya knew of the habit of giving others plants, obviously, but he had never even been on the giving end. how was he supposed to react to the receiving one?

it's necessary to mention that he also felt foolish. normally, it's the more serious person on both ends that gives the bouquet, as a way to show their appreciation towards the other if the physical touch or the words of affirmation are too tough. not the other way around.

"i also heard that the white variant of this species means truth, the yellow one means slighted love, and the red one means—" you suddenly stopped your words, your eyes opening like you had just seen a ghost, your line of thinking interrupting itself without your demanding.

"chishiya," you couldn't help but stand still, trying to make sure what you were seeing was true. the rosy tint present on his cheeks is getting more perceptible by the second. "are you blushing?"

he could only turn his head to the side in an attempt to avoid your attention. if he had the ability to sense others's feelings, he would be certain of the biggest smile on your face without even looking. this was definitely the largest process you had made so far, ever since you started this habit of yours. pride filled your chest as you finally realized you were the one capable of teasing him and getting revenge for all the times he made you feel like an idiot.

"why are you so shy?" you asked with a present smirk on your face. your voice alone was a sign you were smiling, not going easy on the teasing. "it's just flowers; have you never been given some?"

"shut up." chishiya managed to mumble out, seemingly not caring about whether you heard it or not.

he turned around, still with the flowers in hand, standing in an awkward position as he tried to remember who he even was and what he was doing here. he suddenly stared at an empty jar on his desk, his movements returning to usual as he seemed to have calmed down a bit, away from your gaze.

"hey!" you scurried after him, the smile unable to leave your face as your mind repeated the image of chishiya shuntaro speechless for once. "i wasn't done; don't run away!"

he ignored your protests, grabbing the handle with strength and almost kicking the bathroom door open, seemingly using anger to cope with the embarrassment he just presented you with. you could only imagine what was going on inside his mind. probably a ton of insulting words running towards him for looking like an idiot once in his life.

he filled the jar with water to a certain point, shoving the flowers inside it, and left the bathroom as he threw the item back on his desk.

"there you go," he began. back to that sharp tone of voice he normally uses, he still refused to turn around and look at you. "your plants are safe and sound."

"you still shouldn't have plucked them out of a garden." he sourly informed. you wondered if he was trying to save the littlest bit of dignity he had left on his soul; unfortunately, you were feeling quite mean that night.

"they were so pretty, though!" you whined out, your hands sitting at your hips. "oh, by the way..."

"the red variant of the chrysanths means i love you." you said with that devious voice again. the only thing that changed in chishiya's posture was the red tint of the flowers, now matching the color present on the tips of his ears.

— n/a: KANDKSJFKEJFNSJDN THIS WAS SO CUTEEEE!! i love writing shy chishiya or stupid chishiya in love he's such a loser....... (i say about a man who's 13 times smarter than me) :cc it's quite sad i have to get a bit outside his character to make it better but i still loved writing this. i hope you guys like it as much!!!

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polydeuces · 1 year

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𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫: harry styles x fem! reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: “soft launches are in” you say?

— 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧!

liked by harryloveskiwis, h4rryshouse, and 10,485 others

hsupdates: Harry arrives alone in Italy with a head to toe gucci outfit as well as cheetah print luggage.

view all 595 comments

favstyles: uh ive been packed, harry wya?

waitin4ya: i miss him already

tpwkhs: bffr… no way is this a solo trip for him

harryloveskiwis: there’s just something in the Italian air .. Italyrry is just perfect

h4rryshouse: he's so lana del rey vinyl 😍

liked by y/f/u, gucci, jvn, daisyedgarjones, and 1,495 others

y/nsuniverse: had the pleasure of traveling to Italy and wandering the streets of this beautiful place! traveling solo can be both exhilarating and scary, but having family visit has been so fun. feeling at peace - hope you're feeling at peace too. 💞

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y/f/u: family.. hm? 👀

gucci: we love that you visited the place where we started 😍

annetwist: have the best time darling Xx

_alice_glass: my faceless muse

daisyedgarjones: getting on a plan now!!

liked by gemmastyles, harryscloset, iniduohs, and 8,275,863 others

harrystyles: L’amore vero non si vende e non si compra.

View all 71,648 comments

hsupdates: WHO??

tpwky/n: oh god not again .. 🫠

hshq: ❤️

gemmastyles: my angellllll tell her i miss her

harryscloset: Whoever she is.. she’s beautiful

liked by tpwky/n, harryloveskiwis, and 793 others

h4rryshouse: HARRY SEEN IN SICILY WITH WOMAN WHO IS SUSPECTED TO BE y/n’suniverse

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harryloveskiwis: a win is a win 😭❤️‍🩹

waitin4ya: this is actually so cute

y/f/u: please remove this post. respect peoples privacy. thank you.

favstyles: god.. if you can hear me 🧎‍♀️

hsupdates: h’s private live with family and loved ones isn’t our business.. if you are a fan you would respect his privacy and hers.

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harryssattelitestomper · 1 year

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Wembley N2

Faceclaim: Camille Rowe

An:Yes I know Camille and Harry have been long since broken up and she’s happy with Theo. This is just for fun! ☺️

Liked by harrystyles, gemmastyles and 859,736 others

Yninstagram Can you tell I’m not a morningperson?

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Gemmastyles love the socks and the sandals. A true fashionicon!

-yninstagram @gemmastyles give me a break😭 h woke me up at 8am

- harryfan93 lol harrys such a menace

Harrystyles ❤️

-yninstagram still mad u woke me up

Ynfan75 she’s such a mood

Liked by annetwist, harrystyles and 758,836 others

Yninstagram 🎶 That's magic in a cheetah print coat🎶

View all 2,484 comments

Harryfan73 10/10 music taste

Harryfan11 STOP SHE LISTENS TO ARCTIC MONKEYS

Alexachung Stop 😭😂

-yninstagram 🎶 Organic cigarettes that she smokes🎶

-ynfan91 shes so unserious i love her

Harrystyles 😍

Harris_reed forget about charlie’s angels she’s harry’s angel 😍🤍

-yninstagram love u, miss u

Liked by harryfan77, ynfan10 and 1,203 others

harryflorals FIRST LOOKS AT HARRY'S OUTFIT TONIGHT

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harryfan01 HARRY STYLES YOU ARE AN OUTFIT REPEATER

Harryfan74 the colors are a bit off but hey 😭😭

Harryfan63 hes hiding the hiddies from us 😔

Liked by ynfan99, harryfan43 and 1,757 others

Harryupdates Anne, Gemma, Harry’s dad and yn tonight at the show! Via harryfan95

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Harryfan63 i love close yn is with his family 🥹

Ynfan58 the way anne, gemma and yn are holding eachother

Liked by harryfan56, ynfan10 and 2,405 others

harryflorals HARRY VIA YNINSTAGRAM STORIES

Liked by harryfan76, ynfan03 and 2,596 others

harryflorals YN AND HARRY HAVING DINNER WITH ALEXA CHUNG AND OTHER FRIENDS AFTER THE SHOW! via harryfan01

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harryfan49 they look so good😭

Harryfan02 i love how she gets along so well with his friends

Liked by harrystyles, alexachung and 939.961 others

Yninstagram i spy

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Ynfan74 shes so pretty

Harryfan51 i get it harry, i do

Harrystyles u spy

-yninstagram you think youre so funny, dont you?

Jeffazoff little miss spy

Liked by yninstagram, ynfan02 and 1,274,736 others

Harrystyles Love On Tour. London II. June, 2023.

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Alessandro_michelle 🍒

Harryfan32 YOURE SPARKLING

Capitalofficial king👑

Yninstagram smiley baby

#harry styles #harry edward styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles fake ig #harry styles fake instagram #harry styles fake social media #harry styles masterlist #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #camille rowe

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sailforvalinor · 1 month

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I watched Castle in the Sky for the first time, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a main character with more visible plot armor, nor do I think I’ve ever enjoyed plot armor more than in this movie. Pazu makes one comment about having a thick head, and from then on we’re just supposed to accept that this kid has the durability of a rubber monster truck tire, the speed of an adolescent cheetah, the strength and endurance of a professional rock climber, and the flexibility of an Olympic gymnast. And we do. Because it’s freaking fun. Pazu gets grazed by a bullet near the end of the movie and we’re like “ack! Oh no! He’s in danger! He could actually die!” and then no less than twenty seconds later a lit explosive is thrown into the tunnel he’s hiding in and he emerges with nothing more than a sooty face and a few scuff marks. By the time Muska is leveling a gun at him in the last ten minutes of the movie, you’re not convinced that the bullet wouldn’t just bounce off. It’s fantastic.

#castle in the sky #Pazu is such an underrated protagonist #studio ghibli

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somberjoon · 4 months

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METANOIA [2]

✩ pairing: hybrid nj x hybrid reader (f) - eventual ot7 x reader

✩ genre: soul-searching , romance🔞 , found-family , healing , angst , happy ending

✩ word count: 4.2k

✩ chapter warnings: uncertainty in behavior and emotions , objectifying comments made towards fmc (nothing explicit, happens once) , anxiety / crying from anxiety and fear

✩ summary: She doesn't know. There is so much about her and her cheetah that she hasn't had the privilege to understand. Unknown backgrounds and unknown emotions clash with feelings of want- hopes of being herself unapologetically. Namjoon seems to be someone that can help her- but can the rest of his pack truly be what she has wanted and needed?

✩ cover: me

ch.1 , ch.2 , ch.3 ...

This has to be her favorite thing. She hasn’t had the opportunity to place things in order of best to worst- but this one thing tops everything she’s ever experienced.

She runs through the empty field in a daze. Her hearing isn’t as well honed yet in this state, but she is lovingly overwhelmed by the wind rushing past her ears and through her hair. Her unbound curls feel weightless for the first time as she runs and runs without a care.

Namjoon is long gone in her mind, she completely forgot about him- about everything there is to think about. She looks around as she makes a turn and runs back to the spot she originally started at. She stops in the empty field, looking around to find the wolf. The grass is far too tall now that she realizes it, slinking down to conceal herself and listen to where the wolf could be- he wants to play. Y/N wants to play.

A smile pulls at her lips when she realizes. She allows herself to feel whatever comes to the forefront of her thoughts. Her hearing is the first thing that dials in- birds in the far distance drawing her attention without the practice of her hyper-hearing. She chances her scenting, sniffing quietly to find his specific scent.

She couldn't place his scent at first meeting. It was nothing harsh or overwhelming, but she hadn’t been able to broaden her knowledge of scents as she only focused on surviving while growing up. Now that she’s met Namjoon a few times, she can finally place it after asking him- Vanilla and Cypress.

She searches for that welcoming, warm scent. It’s quiet, serene- until she realizes the scent is right behind her. Her slunk down form is jumped over by an enthusiastic, human Namjoon, and he bolts ahead to run away from her.

With no second thought, Y/N is up and sprinting after him. Surprisingly, she finds she’s a lot faster than the wolf despite him being much more in shape. She’s on him in less than ten seconds, the two crashing to the ground after she pounces onto his back.

By the time she catches him, her exhaustion from running freely catches up to her- rolling onto her back to look up at the clear sky. Namjoon isn’t phased at all by her roughhousing, turning onto his back as well to relax a bit. She doesn’t pay attention to him as she closes her eyes to take in where she is at the moment. She can’t shift yet, but this still feels perfect.

Y/N - Earlier that day

She had been down in the dumps with no obvious explanation. Her room at the house is nice- nicer than anything she’s ever had. A bed so warm and soft she can’t help but roll around a few times each morning and night. Her window faces the backyard, showcasing her favorite tree at all times. And her room is even carpeted with a soft blend she knows nothing about. Her closet actually has clothes in it, she actually has a working bathroom, and she can shower every day.

But- there’s something missing. Something off about the space makes her itchy if she thinks about it too often.

Namjoon noticed immediately. Somehow he’s grown to ask all the right questions in just the span of a week. It’s scary and amazing at the same time. He’s an awe she can’t place in her mind properly.

“Are you feeling antsy today at all?” He asked in a whisper as Maria prepared their daily snacks. Sometimes Namjoon provided them, sometimes Maria offered to make them the day before. It’s a Friday, so she felt happy taking care of us before Namjoon is absent for the weekend.

“I don’t know. I just feel- off.”

“Mmm, what do you think about getting out today?”

Wide eyes turn to the wolf who watches her reaction intently.

“I don’t mean like going away. I mean- do you wanna go do something today? See something new? Go for a run?” He asks until something has her ears twitching. And to her surprise- her long tail lifts like it’s its own thing, waving at the mention of running.

“We can do that?” She leans into his space despite him leaning into hers as well. His gaze locked onto her tail and flitting up to her ears. He nods without removing his gaze.

Namjoon - Earlier that day

She reacts without even knowing she is. The odd twitches in her fuzzy ears and the sway of her pretty tail. She’s been taking care of it with my suggestions that I know help Taehyung and the other cats.

She didn’t seem as attentive today, needing gentle patience in times of conversation. He can’t place exactly what she needs, but he’ll do his best to find out.

“Blender.” Maria calls as she places the lid on. Y/N doesn’t cover her ears like usual. He makes the quick decision to cup her human ears so as to not touch her where she is far more sensitive. Her eyes widen at the contact, but he can feel the flinch in her head as the blender turns on and she looks over once to realize why he’s touching her.

‘I’m sorry.’ He mouths, but Y/N only pulls his wrists away to turn fully in her seat and stare down at the table. Her curls are up in a neat, high ponytail that allows him to still see her expression. She waits for the blender to stop before talking.

“Running sounds good.”

Namjoon - Present

She’s even prettier when she’s following her instincts. She feels more like the person she’s meant to be. Free.

He watches as her chest rises and falls, her flushed cheeks puffed a little from her smile pushing them up, her hair freely laid out above her head in the indent of tall grass.

His hand moves before he can think twice, laying itself just above her forehead to pet at her hair with care to stray away from her small, fuzzy ears.

“Such a pretty cub.” He says like a breeze in the Summer air.

Y/N

He thinks I’m pretty?

A warmth greater than anything she’s ever known blooms in her stomach, spreading to reach every limb and finger tip. A rumble within herself wants out. God, something is inside of her and wants to crawl up her throat to show him. She swallows it down before it can show itself.

She opens her mouth to speak but no words are coming out- that rumble keeps pushing and pushing. She feels like she’s bending her elbow the wrong way trying to get it to stop- trying to not push farther into his warm hand.

Why’s he so damn warm all the time? Why’s he so perfect and nice and why can’t she just give into anything and-

“Y/N? I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

She reaches up to feel wetness leaking from her eyes. Confusion sparks first, then the coldness of Namjoon’s retracting hand, pulling an audible sob from her that shocks her even more. Pushing herself up to stand, she tries to turn and walk away, but now Namjoon’s faster- stepping in front of her he holds his hands up.

“I’m really sorry, but- please, please tell me what the boundaries are. I just- this is something we need- touch- and it was just something my wolf needed so- I just need you to tell me what it makes you feel. So I know something, so I know what not to do, what not to say.” He was just being nice, just being gentle and caring with her and she’s crying like a child. How can she explain how embarrassing this is for her? She takes a few deep breaths, before attempting to explain something she can’t even pinpoint or understand.

“I don’t know what I feel, Namjoon. I can’t- I don’t know what it is but- it wasn’t bad?” She stands like a child ready to be scolded, sniffling and embarrased.

“It wasn’t bad?”

“No,” she shakes her head, racking it for something logical to give him, “I can’t-”

“Explain what you felt, just as you felt it when it happened. Maybe- maybe I can name it.” Namjoon sounds so thoughtful. She can’t help but immediately close her eyes and recall, swallowing down her emotions from before.

“It started here,” she rests her palm on her stomach, “and it grew and grew- until it was in my throat, rumbling, trying to get out it was- it felt so nice.” She admits both to him and herself. “I realized I’ve never felt nice before, I’ve never had someone be gentle like that and it scared me.”

Her eyes close even tighter, waiting for Namjoon to scold her. She doesn’t expect that warm hand to place itself back onto her head, petting from the top of her head to the hair that has fallen in front of her fast, pushing the strands to tuck behind her left ear.

The silence and her thudding heart melt the sound of the breeze away, even her breathing has gone still.

“Cat’s purr, little one. Even lots of big cats. I can’t say exactly what makes you purr, but, when you feel good- when you are safe and comfortable and feel cared for- she’ll let you know for sure how much she likes it. Can I show you something that the other cheetah I know likes? Nothing scary.”

Y/N can’t even tell if she’s purring or if she’s just too scared at the moment, but with a nod she feels Namjoon’s fingers push into the hair at the back of her neck, lightly massaging there.

She can only explain it happening because of the feeling of his warmth molding her always stiff neck- the loud rumbling starts in her chest and shows itself as it slides up her throat. She still stands with her arms at her side, but instincts pull them up to hold onto Namjoon’s arm with a grip she can’t tell what the strength of is. Her tail wraps around her waist on its own as well.

“What a pretty sound from a pretty cub.” Namjoon repeats with a smile Y/N can hear, somehow building up the volume of the sound she’s making. “You might have a different purr depending on how you feel, but- for now- this one is very important to get to know.” His fingers leave her hair, but he strays to the top of her back to rub small circles into it. Her head lifts but her eyelids are so heavy she can barely think.

“Aww, even better, a pretty, sleepy cub.” He giggles and hums with pleasure. She might just burst if he calls her pretty again but she just takes everything in as best she can when she’s basically falling asleep standing up. “Let’s get you home so you can rest properly.” She blinks and somehow Namjoon is guiding her by the shoulders through the tall grass and towards his car.

She blinks again and she’s home, curled up in bed under the fluffy, gray comforter. She almost has time to regret not remembering the last of her time with Namjoon, but a whiff of a smell she’s never had in her room takes all her attention. She turns her face to the pillow under her head, giving it a few experimental sniffs.

Vanilla, Cypress, and…Strawberries? Her scent doesn’t mix with his to create strawberries, but somehow it’s there, an underlying thing that she has never noticed in his scent before. But, there’s no chance she’ll think too much about it when it smells so damn good. This is what was missing in her room. This scent of care and gentle being- a hybrid she trusts- mixed with her own.

For the first time, she sleeps with a smile and not a single nightmare- not even a dream. She rests properly for the first time ever.

Namjoon

Namjoon enters his pack home just after 5PM, kicking his shoes off in the entry and immediately chucking his zip-up hoodie onto the piles of jackets on hooks. He smiles to himself at the first memory he has of sleepy, content Y/N. She has never shown a vulnerable side like that of herself so easily. His notes were brief for the day because of the time cut shorter than usual, but he can’t help but think about all the details he left out.

How soft her curls and tail are getting because of the care she’s able to give herself under Maria’s roof. How she seems to be putting on healthy weight that warms Namjoon to his toes. How her cheeks glow the prettiest pink under the sun- under his gaze.

“Someone smells like ‘happy cub’.” Seokjin slinks up behind Namjoon without any warning, as all of his attention is somewhere else entirely. His hyung’s arms wrap around his waist, pulling his warmth into a palpable thing around them- a safe cocoon.

“The same case is still my priority at the organization- she’s had great results according to her doctor.” Seokjin’s nose digs into his neck, inhaling as much of his scent as possible.

“Mmm smells like great results.” He says with a smile to his neck, making them both laugh.

“Ugh, stop hogging our Joonie when he smells so good.” Hoseok wraps himself around Namjoon’s front to press his nose into the free side of his neck. Namjoon melts into them, body tired and pliant before it’s even time for bed. He loves them so much- what they make him feel, how safe he is in their hold.

“Mm, smells like cub.” Namjoon and Seokjin giggle at the deja-vu of it.

“You know I can’t tell you her age but, she’s not actually a cub- just, by the way.”

Hoseok ventures to sniff into Namjoon’s clothed shoulder. He knows Hoseok will find a stronger scent there- he stiffens slightly at the remembrance of carrying Y/N into the house and into bed. He’s never told them about Y/N too specifically. He can’t. But, they don’t know how he feels, or how he treats her. His blood runs cold at those thoughts running through him in the arms of his pack.

“Is she younger than us?” Hoseok asks, Namjoon hums immediately. “Then it smells like cub.” Hoseok pulls away to smile with his whole heart up at Namjoon. The ache that tightens around his heart grows and grows until he can’t look at him any longer. He pulls him in by the back of the neck to place a kiss to Hoseok’s forehead.

“What’s for dinner?” He asks to get the fox and tiger to release him.

“Steak.”

“Ugh- I love you.”

The two laugh once more before following their pack leader into the dining room. His mind strays away as his family embraces him after their long day is done. He’s not in the same room. He doesn’t even deserve to be in the same room as them. He doesn’t deserve it when he can’t help but feel something is missing. He’s sick. He feels sick- cold blood and nausea. He is sick- for wanting more.

Y/N

The length of her rest takes her by surprise, sleeping all evening, night, and waking early Saturday morning. Her body feels rested for the first time- like it’s been given some forbidden fruit, something too good to be true. She deflates at the thought that Namjoon won’t be coming today, but the time he gets with his pack is precious- and she’s extremely happy he has that. He deserves that.

She shakes the sleep from her limbs, stretching in her bed while the sun starts its journey from east to west.

The loud clang of a pot startles her into a sitting position. She’s not used to a set routine in her daily life, but Maria was very good at providing her with one and- it’s far too early for breakfast.

She slinks down the hallway, peeking around the corner into the kitchen to catch a glimpse of an intruder. But, it’s just Richard. She continues, making herself present with a sniff.

“Oh, hi sweety- sorry if I woke you. Maria had to leave town for the business earlier than usual this weekend so- I’m trying to make you breakfast before I have to leave for the shop.”

All Y/N knows is that the couple runs some sort of shop. She thinks it has something to do with cars, but really it’s not that interesting to her at the moment. But- she would’ve liked to know that Maria leaves on the weekends. Why did no one tell her? She hasn’t spent that much time with Richard- she doesn’t have Namjoon to help her keep up a good conversation either- so she’s becoming more and more anxious by the second.

Richard seems to notice.

“She must not have told you. I’m sorry, it won't be any different than normal. I’ll be at work all day like normal, and I’ll just pick up dinner for us tonight and tomorrow night. I’m sorry I’m not the best cook either but-”

“It’s okay- I’ll- I’ll figure it out. Thank you.” She’s that same timid girl that walked into the house again. She’s suddenly not safe- not wearing enough- not good enough- too scared. “Have a good day.”

She all but runs back into her room, shutting the door and clicking the lock quietly. Her palm pushes into her chest- heart beating too fast, breath picking up too quickly. Looking around in a panic she tries to find a place she’ll feel more safe before he can hear her.

Her closet grabs her attention. Sliding the door open, she kneels and crawls into the back corner, sliding the door closed again. The comfortable darkness takes over as she curls her arms around her shins to dig her forehead into her knees. She hasn’t had the ability to find a place that felt this safe before- besides her tree. Being on the streets provides you with little cover and even less assurance of safety. She doesn’t think Richard is a bad guy, but she also doesn't really know anything about him.

Their daily dinners with everyone present aren’t filled with much conversation- usually it’s about work. Her first weekend, Maria was home and didn’t tell her anything about leaving the next weekend.

Until her breathing slows, until the truck starts up and quiets as it disappears down the street, Y/N stays in the closet- protected from the world.

She really needs to get a hobby. With the absence of Maria and no Namjoon visit to look forward to, she realized how little she actually does.

The TV channels that Maria had shown her are all too boring- info-mercials, old doctor shows, and ‘I Love Lucy’ that seems to constantly play on one channel specifically.

By noon, she’s miserable. Making herself a simple sandwich that Maria got her hooked on, she heads back to her room to find her phone. She’s never had one before, and having one hasn’t been that life-changing- but Maria makes sure she keeps it charged for emergencies. She doesn’t know why she thinks it will cure her boredom, only three people have her number. Maria, Richard, and Namjoon- after convincing her the agency doesn’t care about volunteers willingly giving personal information. She doesn’t hope he’ll message her- but she definitely presses the power button with hope that a notification will be at the top of the screen.

Surprisingly, there is a notification. From Maria.

‘I’m so sorry I had to leave so abruptly, I’ll be back tomorrow evening. There are plenty of leftovers for breakfast and lunch both days, but if you want something new just look it up and make sure the heat on the stove doesn’t go above ‘3’. Don’t worry about messing up, I’d love to see you try to make something on your own, and that’s all that matters! See you Sunday!’

To be honest, her reading level isn’t at its finest, but she’s adapted well without school and can read it slowly. Y/N yearns for the sweet woman to come back. There has never been someone in her life that she missed- not with the knowledge of their presence and personality at least. She’s always yearned to have parents, friends, a family. She doesn’t remember anything, though. She doesn’t think she really wants to- for her own sake.

With the help of google and its amazing talent of spelling, Y/N is able to find a list of hobbies that seem to be popular. There are a few things she’s never heard or seen before so she scrolls until one catches her eye. ‘Phone Games’. That seems easy enough. She can even get some use out of the phone since it was provided to her with the intent of usage.

She has no idea what any of them are, and there are far too many to choose from for her liking. The first one she finds cute she clicks on. ‘Block Jam’.

“Seems easy.” The download is surprisingly quick, booting it up to start playing as soon as it's finished. It’s an easy color match game, the popping sounds are nice and rewarding, and most importantly- she’s distracted from everything around her.

The phone definitely does its job. Before she knows it, Y/N is hearing tires pull into the driveway and truck doors shutting. And voices. Two male voices.

Because of her room placement, she can't peek at who it is before they get inside, but she knows immediately that it's not Namjoon. Richard is home from work with an unknown man. She doesn’t want to slink away now that she’s okay from the morning encounter- but she really doesn’t want to meet someone new without a warning, especially a new man without Maria or Namjoon around.

She changes into her daily sweats and long-sleeve tee despite the feelings of regret that seem to already be prickling under her skin. She wraps her tail around herself for the first time, an instinct that is surfacing for the first time ever. Her cheetah’s warmth pushes forward, like a whole other person is there telling her ‘it’s okay’. She leeches onto it as she unlocks her door and slowly makes her way towards the voices in the kitchen.

She can only observe him for a few seconds- an older man, maybe ten years older than Richard, with thinning, gray-riddled hair and dirty clothes to match.

“Y/N, are you hungry? I got some pizza if you’d like some before this old guy eats it all.” Richard’s laugh is a booming thing that shocks her, honestly she’s never heard him be this loud before. He pushes the other man’s shoulder and they both turn to you to gauge your response. Before you can answer, the unknown man interrupts her unknowingly.

“I didn’t know you had something exotic in your house, Rich’, you holdin’ out on me?”

‘Something’? ‘Holding out’? Y/N’s face scrunches up at that, looking over at the familiar man to see what he’ll say.

“Maria is a part of the re-homing program. You know- she never got to have kids so-”

“So they gave you an adult?”

While they talk, Y/N slips away unnoticed as they look at each other in their conversation. It’s the fastest and quietest she’s ever been- in her room and locking the door again before she can get a chance to think about what she’s doing. Another part of her is doing all the thinking- one part that she’s not used to being upfront.

Her hands unlock and push open the window- struggling to push out the screen layer- she pushes herself up and out, heading straight for that back tree with only her socks as a barrier to the elements. Her limbs climb until she finds that indent, placing herself there and curling up into a comfortable position.

Her familiar self is left alone once again as she curls her tail around herself.

“Why haven’t I met you properly?” She whispers to herself. Irritated, confused, sad. Tears of multiple emotions slip down her cheeks unceremoniously. She stays like this despite it getting later and later, despite her eyes pulling shut from exhaustion.

A ping from her phone pulls her eyes open. She searches her right pocket to find it, squinting from the bright screen once she clicks it on. Her eyes adjust to find a new message. From Namjoon.

‘I hope your weekend is going well!’

He even attached a picture of himself. One where he’s holding up his thumb and winking at the camera.

She doesn’t know why new tears silently greet her once more. She stares at the message until her screen goes black, pocketing the device once more.

She doesn’t know what to say to that. She’s never conversed like that- maybe she’ll know what to say when she’s less anxious. She can only fall asleep fully this time to try and forget this day. Tomorrow she can try again.

#bts au #bts fic #bts hybrid au #bts hybrid fic #namjoon x reader #namjoon au #bts x reader #bts x you #bts x y/n #bts x fem!reader #bts hybrid x reader

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ales-art · 9 months

Text

Commission for Alex Baihua, just in time for his birthday. Feel free to join us in the comments and wish him a happy birthday. Alex is well known to many of the Shabash people and I’m certain that everyone can find a few warm words for him.

These are characters from Slavic-ish fantasy story: tough Sofia with an uneasy soul, her wise and handsome brother and Timur the basurman, looking a lot like cheetah (although I called him a son of a steppe jackal and survived that :D)

#commission

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call-me-maggie13 · 1 year

Text

What’s it like working in a male-dominated environment where everyone is between the ages of 17 & 24? I’m so glad you asked.

“Hey, how do I professionally tell [district manager] this ain’t it, Chief?” - my 19yr old site manager

“Bug race. Bug race. Bug race. Bug race.” - this chant went on for 40 minutes while they scoured for bugs to race in a maze they’d built

“Is my [literally anything] supposed to do this? {proceeds to show themselves doing something that they definitely should not be able to do} It kinda hurts when I do.”

[random screaming]

“What would happen if I ate this?”

{new guy tries to be chivalrous and hold the door for me} “dude, why’d you do that?”

“Because gentlemen hold the doors for ladies?”

“Man, she ain’t a lady. She’s Maggie. Doesn’t count.”

“Pulp fiction isn’t even a good movie.” - this got me kicked out of the group chat for three weeks

In the group chat: [monkey meme] [monkey gif] [monkey stock photo] [monkey trivia fact] [monkey video] [link to monkey video on YouTube] “munky munky”

“Maggie, my girl is mad at me and I can’t figure out why.”

“are you asking her bc she’s a girl?”

“No dude, I’m asking her bc she’s smarter than us.”

“I don’t think I’m straight. Have you seen Ryan Reynolds? Yeah… I don’t know anymore.”

“Did you know the new soap dyes your hands Barbie pink?” [holds up bright pink hands] cause I just found out!”

[more on the previous one] “bro that’s not Barbie pink, that’s fuschia!”

“No it’s not!” {argues back and forth before new guy joins in}

“I think it’s more of a periwinkle.”

“Bro, periwinkle is a purple. Have you never looked at a color before in your life?”

[random projectile flies past my head] “shit! Incoming!”

[random push-up contest]

“Do you think my dog knows I would die for her?”

“You guys know when [vague hand movement] just kinda [even vaguer hand movement] and you just [weird and vague hand movement]?”

“Bro, yes.”

“What were you listening to in your car when I pulled up?” [proudly] “the cheetah girls, bro!”

“Do you think I could take a badger in a fight?”

[random period of absolute silence that either lasts forever or is ended by a random scream]

[someone finds a stick] “you shall not pass”

“You are what you eat, right?”

“Bro what? We’re talking about baseball.”

After the entire staff had heard about me making friendship bracelets for the Taylor Swift concert, I had 4 (out of 6) of them ask me to make them one.

“Do you ever just [like two minutes of complete silence], ya know?”

“I don’t think meeting God could even compete, dude.” - I have no context for this statement

“Sometimes, I just [heavy sigh] and sometimes it’s enough.”

“I need new songs to scream in my car.” [shows them Cruel Summer and DBATC by Taylor Swift] “Dude, make me a playlist. I need more songs like these!”

[loud clattering] “Oh shit. Don’t tell, [manager].”

Manager : “what’d you break?”

“Who decided our company mascot should be a pigeon?”

Manager gives vague answer about corporate and how we’re a car wash so it makes sense.

“Well, they’re dumb. I think our mascot should be a racecar.”

“Do you think I would get workers comp if I had a mental breakdown?”

“No.”

“Damn. Imma reschedule it for my day off then. Hey, [manager], can I have two days off back to back next week?”

“Do I get commission for the customers I scare away?”

“That’s the opposite of how commission works.”

“Well, I’m up to three today.”

[random old guy makes a comment about how women shouldn’t try to do a man’s job] “dude, acting like a dick doesn’t make yours any bigger.”

“Does anyone wanna watch Barbie’s Princess and the Pauper with me on Tuesday?” [everyone said yes] - we’re going to see the new Barbie movie together for “team bonding”

“Did you know that if you do this [proceeds to do some weird flippy thing that makes him fall], you can bruise all your ribs at the same time?”

After seeing a video of Taylor Swift diving into the stage at the Eras Tour : “dude, it’s a really good thing she’s a singer and not a swimmer because that was a bellyflop.”

“Wait. Is Hozier a lesbian?” - I have no context for this question

“If I was a worm, you guys would still play COD with me right?”

“No. We’d lose.”

“We could team up against him and beat his worm-ass!”

“Shit yeah! Then yes.”

[random dancing]

“I wanna jump in that puddle…”

“then jump in it?”

“Ok bet” [spends the last five minutes of his shift splashing in a mud puddle]

“Dude, my [12 year old] sister just got dumped by her boyfriend, what do I do?”

“Take her on a date, dude. I take my sisters out all the time because they should know how a dude should treat them.”

[random trauma dumping] “but yeah, lmao, right?”

Me: [chillin] [randomly gets picked up and carried] - this is an action I have approved, it is both hilarious and fun

“Don’t be weird about it, bro.”

“I’m not gunna be weird about it, bro.” [proceeds to be absolutely weird about it]

“What’s your favorite candy?” [tells them] [receives a two pound bag of my favorite candy the next day] “I’m sorry I yelled at you last week.”

[after he was invited to a party with drugs & alcohol] “My therapist said I shouldn’t do that anymore. It’s shit for my mental health.”

“Okay, bro. We can just play COD instead.”

[randomly tackling each other in the grass]

“Dude, I love you so much, bro. You’re an awesome guy to be friends with.” [proceeds to smack each other back and forth for like three minutes straight]

[complaining about how his seven-month-old is going through a sleep regression and he hasn’t slept more than two hours in a week] “dude, that sucks. I can ask my mom for tips, if you want?”

[random video clip sent in group chat] “wait, Maggie don’t watch that” [watches it anyways] “bro, that’s a video of you and your cat playing peek-a-boo, why couldn’t I watch that?” - I never got a response

[quiet giggling] manager: “what are you doing?”

“Nothing!” - they were hiding his clipboard

“Bro, Taylor Swift probably wrote a song about it.”

“That was literally so homophobic, it’s homoerotic.”

[in the group chat] “Y’all, I have news.” [all but one person responds asking about it] “I wanna wait until everyone responds” [four hours later, the last person responds asking about it] [ten minutes of silence] “oh, yeah. I’m gay.” - this man has been out for over a decade. Everyone already knew. This was not news.

[random tiktok link] [random tiktok link] [random tiktok link]

“Does anyone know how to use epilepsy?”

“Epilepsy? The seizure thing?”

“No the three dots.”

“Bro, that’s ellipsis.”

“I thought that was the exercise machine.”

“No, that’s an elliptical.” - I know this is a tiktok trend now, but this entire conversation was dead serious

“Do I need to go to the hospital if I got bit by a squirrel?” [everyone yells at him to go to the ER] [someone asks how he got bit by a squirrel] “I wanted to know if they were as fluffy as they look.” - he has confirmed that they are, indeed, as fluffy as they look but you most certainly should never attempt to pet a squirrel

“Bro look at this” [picture of something brutal and gory] “isn’t that cool?”

“I think I could be a professional driver.”

“Didn’t you break your axel by hitting a curb?”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t drive.”

#boys will be boys #boys will be bugs #I love them #they’re so stupid #there’s never a dull moment with them #i never know what to expect when they start talking #every day they get weirder #I love my job #my boss is literally only older than the 17 year old #everyone is older than him except our high schooler

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