#childhood reverie | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

songbirdseung · 1 month

Text

young love / nishimura riki

synopsis: she fell first but he fell harder type of scenario. slow burn romance??? wc: 7k??

pairing: childhood friends riki x reader (riki dislikes reader at first tho) fluff??? if you squint, ANGSTYY

warnings: rejection, mean riki, jealousy

note: povs change midway / part 2

people would say you were far too young to say you were in love at the age of 8 years old. your mom definitely laughed at you in a loving supportive mom way, your dad immediately told you to stay away from boys and your brother teased you till the ends of the earth. unfortunately for you, your young heart had so much love to give, and your mind however decided that love was to be given to nishimura riki.

it started when you were in preschool, you were three years old. doodling on your hello kitty notebook, you notice that there was writing on the bottom on every page. "I like you", you may have bothered everyone in the class trying to figure out who it was, not knowing it was a little prank by your best friend. the prank escalated to where they blamed or pointed fingers at the innocent little riki who was quiet in the back. (he didn't do it) since then, you stuck with him.

despite his initial reluctance and occasional irritation at your constant presence, you stick by his side like glue. you're always there to defend him when others try to pick on him.

there are moments when riki pushes you away, seeking solitude and space. but you refuse to give up, always finding a way to insert yourself back into his life, whether he likes it or not.

throughout the friendship, yours and riki's bond has been a constant source of support and companionship. you have always been there for riki, offering unwavering loyalty and understanding, even when he seemed indifferent or distant. the friendship, though built on your persistent efforts, has always felt one-sided, with you giving much more than you receives.

yet, despite this imbalance, you never expected to develop romantic feelings for riki. it's a typical afternoon, and you're on your way to riki's house, as you've done countless times before. as you approach his street, you catch sight of him walking ahead, hand in hand with a girl you don't recognize. they're chatting and laughing, completely oblivious to your presence.

your heart sinks as a pang of jealousy surges through you. you stop in your tracks, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside you. for the first time, you allow yourself to acknowledge the truth – perhaps your feelings for Riki run deeper than mere friendship.

watching them together, you feel a sense of longing wash over you, a longing to be the one walking beside him, holding his hand.

you're sitting in the school's cafeteria with your friends sunoo and yuna. you've been lost in thought ever since you saw riki with that girl earlier. sunoo nudges you, snapping you out of your reverie. "hey, yn, you've been quiet all morning. what's up?" you hesitate for a moment before finally blurting out what you saw.

yuna gasps in surprise, while sunoo's eyebrows shoot up. "are you giving up on riki then?" sunoo asks, concern evident in his voice. you shake your head slowly. "i don't know… i didn't realize i felt this way until today." yuna leans in, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. "so, what are you gonna do about it?" you bite your lip, feeling a mix of nerves and determination bubbling inside you. "i don't know yet, but i can't just ignore these feelings."

as you speak, a surge of determination fills you. "i think i need to talk to riki," you say, surprising yourself with the decisiveness in your tone. sunoo and yuna exchange glances, nodding in agreement.

"yeah, you should," sunoo says, his voice supportive. "you've been there for him all this time, it's only fair that you're honest with him about how you feel." yuna reaches out and squeezes your hand gently. "we'll be here for you no matter what happens," she reassures you with a warm smile.

with your friends by your side, you feel a newfound sense of courage and resolve. you know that confronting your feelings for riki won't be easy, but you also know that it's a conversation you need to have. taking a deep breath, you steel yourself for the conversation that lies ahead.

as you go about your day, your mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. you can't shake the image of Riki holding hands with that girl, and the realization that you might have deeper feelings for him consumes your thoughts. every interaction with your classmates feels like a blur as you try to focus on the task at hand, but your mind keeps drifting back to riki.

in class, you find it difficult to concentrate, your thoughts constantly wandering to what you'll say when you finally talk to riki. the minutes drag on as you anxiously wait for the final bell to ring, signaling the end of the school day.

when the bell finally does ring, you feel a surge of nervous energy coursing through you. with determination, you make your way to riki's locker, where you know you'll find him. as you approach, you spot him chatting with a group of friends, laughter ringing in the air.

taking a deep breath, you steel yourself for what's to come. you walk up to him, heart pounding in your chest, and tap him on the shoulder. he turns to face you, surprise evident in his eyes.

"hey, riki," you say, your voice wavering slightly. "can we talk?"

riki's expression shifts from surprise to confusion as he looks at you, his brows furrowed slightly. "sure, what's up?" he responds, his tone polite but guarded.

you swallow hard, the words suddenly feeling stuck in your throat. how do you even begin to explain the swirling mess of emotions inside you? you take a moment to gather your thoughts before plunging ahead.

"i… um, i saw you with that girl earlier," you start, your voice barely above a whisper. "and… it made me realize something."

riki's expression remains unreadable as he waits for you to continue. you take a deep breath, steeling yourself for what's to come.

"i think… i think i might have feelings for you," you finally confess, your heart pounding in your chest. "i know it's probably… unexpected, but… i just had to tell you."

for a moment, there's silence as riki processes your words. then, to your dismay, his expression shifts from confusion to something akin to pity.

"yn, i… i never saw you that way," he says gently, his voice tinged with sympathy. "i mean, you're a great friend and all, but… i just don't feel the same."

you feel a pang of disappointment and embarrassment wash over you, your cheeks burning with humiliation. you had hoped for a different outcome, but deep down, you knew that this was a possibility.

"i understand," you manage to choke out, forcing a tight smile onto your face. "i just… needed to get that off my chest."

riki nods, his eyes filled with a mixture of sympathy and discomfort. "i'm sorry, you. i hope we can still be friends."

you nod numbly, feeling a lump form in your throat. "yeah, of course," you reply, your voice barely above a whisper.

as riki walks away, leaving you standing there alone, you can't help but feel a sense of emptiness wash over you. you had braced yourself for rejection, but it still stings nonetheless. with a heavy heart, you turn and make your way out of the school, trying to push aside the feelings of disappointment and heartache that threaten to overwhelm you.

in the days following riki's rejection, everything feels different. your once-familiar routine now feels like a minefield, every corner a potential reminder of the pain you're trying so desperately to push aside.

where once you eagerly sought out opportunities to spend time with riki, now you find yourself actively avoiding him. you no longer linger by his locker between classes or seek him out during lunch. instead, you take alternate routes through the school, hoping to avoid any chance encounters.

your daily routine undergoes a significant shift. the time you used to spend thinking about ways to interact with riki is now filled with distractions – anything to keep your mind from dwelling on the hurt and rejection you feel.

you throw yourself into your studies, burying yourself in textbooks and assignments in a desperate attempt to escape the painful thoughts swirling inside your head. you immerse yourself in extracurricular activities, joining clubs and sports teams to fill the void left by Riki's absence.

but no matter how busy you keep yourself, his presence – or rather, his absence – is a constant weight on your mind. you find yourself replaying the conversation over and over again, analyzing every word, every expression, searching for some clue as to what went wrong.

"yn, are you okay?" sunoo asks, his voice filled with genuine concern as he takes in your somber expression.

you offer a weak smile, grateful for his concern but unsure of how to put your feelings into words. yuna reaches out and squeezes your hand gently, offering a silent gesture of support.

"we're here for you, yn," she says softly. "whatever you need, we'll help you through this."

sunoo nods in agreement. "yeah, and maybe we can come up with a plan to prove riki wrong! show him what he's missing out on."

you shake your head, the thought of confronting riki again filling you with dread. "i appreciate it, but I don't think that's such a good idea," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

sunoo and yuna exchange glances, concern evident in their eyes. "but you, you deserve to be happy," sunoo insists. "and if riki can't see that, then he doesn't deserve you."

you know they mean well, but the thought of confronting riki again feels like reopening a wound that's only just begun to heal. "i just need some time to figure things out," you say, your voice tinged with sadness. "but thank you, both of you, for being here for me."

throughout the week, riki couldn't shake the strange feeling that something was off. your absence felt like a gaping hole in his routine, a void he hadn't realized was there until it was gone. it was unsettling, to say the least, not having you constantly around him, your presence a constant in his life.

as he made his way through the crowded hallways between classes, riki couldn't help but notice how you seemed to be actively avoiding him. every time their eyes met, you would quickly turn away or your footsteps quickening as you hurried past him. it was a stark contrast to the way things used to be, and riki couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt tug at his heartstrings.

turning around, he found himself face to face with the girl he had been holding hands with earlier.

"hey, riki, are you okay?" she asked, her voice filled with concern.

forced a tight smile onto his face, trying to push aside the unease that gnawed at him. "yeah, i'm fine, just… tired," he replied, his voice lacking its usual warmth.

she studied him for a moment, her eyes searching his face for any signs of distress. "are you sure?" she pressed, her concern deepening.

riki nodded quickly, eager to end the conversation before it went any further. "yeah, really, it's nothing," he insisted, his tone firm.

as the girl finally relented and walked away, riki couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt tug at his conscience. he knew he had brushed her off, but he couldn't bring himself to confide in her about the turmoil swirling inside him.

turning away, riki's gaze drifted across the crowded hallway, and his heart skipped a beat as he locked eyes with you. In that moment, he realized that you had seen them together, and a wave of regret washed over him. he had hurt you, and there was no denying the hurt reflected in your eyes as you turned away and disappeared into the crowd.

the next few days were a whirlwind of rumors and whispers that seemed to follow you everywhere you went. the whole school was abuzz with talk of riki and the girl he had been seen with, speculating about their newfound relationship.

everywhere you turned, you were met with curious glances and hushed conversations that seemed to stop abruptly as soon as you approached. it felt like the entire school was talking about riki and the girl, and you couldn't escape the constant reminders of what had happened.

even in class, the chatter seemed to revolve around riki and his supposed new girlfriend, the topic dominating every conversation and leaving you feeling more isolated than ever. it was like being trapped in a bubble of gossip and speculation, with no way to escape.

the days dragged on, the weight of it all became almost unbearable. you couldn't escape the constant reminders of what had happened, and with each passing day, it felt like the walls were closing in around you. all you wanted was to find a way to escape the suffocating atmosphere that seemed to surround you at every turn.

you find yourself sitting across from your mom, the weight of your recent heartache heavy on your shoulders. with a sigh, you let out a torrent of words, pouring out all the feelings you've been keeping bottled up inside.

"mom, I messed up. I should've kept my feelings to myself, but I couldn't help it. I just wanted to be close to him." you confess, your voice tinged with regret.

"i thought i was doing okay, but I'm not coping," you continue, your words coming out in a rush. "and now I feel like i've lost everything."

you pause, feeling the weight of your words hanging in the air. "i know i wasn't thinking clearly," you admit, your voice faltering.

as you speak, you can see the concern in your mom's eyes, her brow furrowing with worry. she reaches out and takes your hand in hers, offering you a comforting squeeze.

your mom's words of comfort offer a moment of solace, but you still feel a heavy weight pressing down on you. sensing your need for guidance, she takes a deep breath before offering you some motherly advice.

"sweetheart, i know it hurts right now, but sometimes the hardest lessons teach us the most important things," she begins, her voice gentle yet firm. "it's okay to let your feelings out, but it's also important to remember to take care of yourself."

she reaches out and brushes a strand of hair from your face, her gaze filled with warmth and understanding. "you're strong, and you'll get through this," she assures you. "but don't be afraid to lean on those who love you for support. and remember, sometimes the best thing we can do is learn from our mistakes and use them to grow."

in the days that follow, you find yourself gradually adapting to the new normal without riki. you focus on your studies, throw yourself into your hobbies, and spend more time with friends, trying to fill the void left by his absence.

but no matter how busy you keep yourself, there are moments when the memories come flooding back – the inside jokes, the shared laughter, the moments of quiet understanding. it's in those moments that you feel the pang of loss most acutely, a reminder of what could have been.

as riki lounges in his family house with his two closest friends, jungwon and jake, the topic of his new relationship naturally arises. they chat about how things are going, sharing anecdotes and laughter as they recount the early stages of romance.

eventually, jake steers the conversation in a different direction, broaching the topic of yn and her absence from riki's life. "hey, man, have you noticed how yn's been pretty much out of the picture lately?" he asks, his tone casual but probing.

riki's smile fades slightly as he considers jake's words. he hadn't realized just how much yn's presence had shaped his daily life until now. "yeah, i guess so," he replies, his voice tinged with uncertainty. "it's… different without her around."

jungwon nods in agreement, his expression thoughtful. "maybe you should reach out to her, see how she's doing," he suggests gently. "it might do both of you some good to talk things out."

riki considers jungwon's words for a moment, the weight of yn's absence weighing heavily on his mind. maybe it was time to confront the elephant in the room and address the rift that had formed between them.

riki nods slowly, a sense of determination settling in his chest. "yeah, maybe you're right," he agrees, his voice quiet but resolute. "i'll reach out to her and see if we can talk things through."

jake and jungwon offer him reassuring nods, their support evident in their expressions. "we've got your back, man," jake says, clapping riki on the shoulder. "just remember to be honest and open with her."

lying in bed later that night, riki can't shake the feeling of unease that gnaws at him. the conversation with jungwon and jake weighs heavily on his mind, their words echoing in his ears. he knows that reaching out to yn is the right thing to do, but the thought of confronting the situation fills him with apprehension.

slowly, he reaches for his phone, his fingers hovering over the screen as he contemplates what to say. he wants to text you, to bridge the gap that has formed between them, but the words elude him.

"hey yn," he types out tentatively, his heart pounding in his chest. "i hope you're doing okay. can we talk?"

he stares at the message for a moment, uncertainty coursing through him. but then, with a deep breath, he hits send, knowing that no matter what happens, it's a step in the right direction. he doesn't receive a reply back, which is expected. so, he texts one more time, a simple message asking if they could talk, and then heads to bed.

the next morning, you wake up to a text from riki, asking if you could talk. you read the message over and over again, the words weighing heavily on your mind. throughout the day, you can't shake the feeling of uncertainty, wondering if it's a good idea to respond.

you replay the conversation in your head, trying to anticipate what riki might say. part of you wants to reach out and talk things out, to clear the air and find closure. but another part of you is afraid – afraid of reopening old wounds, afraid of getting hurt all over again.

as the day wears on, the internal debate rages on, leaving you feeling torn and conflicted. you know that you can't avoid the conversation forever, but you also know that once you open that door, there's no turning back.

you're not sure what to do. should you respond to riki's message and face whatever comes next, or should you continue to avoid the conversation and the potential pain that it might bring?

finally, after much deliberation, you decide to reply. you type out a message, keeping it simple yet sincere. "hey riki, i'm willing to talk. when are you free?" you hit send, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety.

you wait anxiously for a response, unsure of what to expect. part of you hopes for a positive outcome, a chance to heal old wounds and move forward. but another part of you fears the worst, worried that this conversation will only bring more pain.

finally, a response comes. "hey, thanks for being willing to talk. how about we meet up tomorrow afternoon?" you agree, and the two of you set a time and place to meet.

as the meeting approaches, you feel a mix of emotions – nervousness, hope, and fear. you know that whatever happens, this conversation will be an important step towards closure, towards healing.

you arrive at the cafe a few minutes early, your heart pounding with anticipation. you take a seat at a table near the window and wait for riki to arrive.

when they finally walk in, you can't help but notice how tense they look. you exchange awkward greetings before diving into the conversation.

riki starts by apologizing, their words hesitant and unsure. they admit to their mistakes, to the pain they caused you. you listen quietly, feeling a mix of anger and sadness bubbling inside you.

but as they continue to speak, you start to sense a genuine remorse in their words. they explain how they've reflected on their actions, how they've grown and changed since then.

slowly, the walls you've built around your heart begin to crumble. you find yourself opening up, sharing your own thoughts and feelings, your own mistakes and regrets.

the conversation is raw and emotional, but also cathartic. by the end of it, you both feel a sense of closure, a weight lifted off your shoulders.

as you part ways, you realize that while the wounds may never fully heal, you've taken a step towards forgiveness, towards letting go of the past and embracing the future.

in the days that follow, you start to notice a change in the air at school. the tension that once hung heavy between you and riki begins to dissipate, replaced by a newfound sense of peace.

your friends, sunoo and yuna, notice the difference too. they smile at you more often, sensing that a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. their support helps you to feel stronger, more confident in your decision to forgive and move forward.

even riki's friends, jungwon and jake, seem to be more at ease around you. they offer you friendly nods and smiles in the hallway, a silent acknowledgment of the healing that has taken place between you and riki.

as for riki himself, he seems happier too. you catch glimpses of him laughing and joking with his friends, his girlfriend by his side. while seeing them together still stings a little, you can't help but feel happy for him, happy that he's found someone who makes him smile.

despite the lingering scars of the past, life at school starts to feel better, brighter. you focus on your studies, on spending time with your friends, on building a future for yourself.

and as you do, you realize that while forgiveness may not erase the pain of the past, it has the power to heal and to bring about a sense of peace. you take comfort in knowing that you've chosen to let go of bitterness and resentment, to embrace love and forgiveness instead.

one day, a few weeks after your conversation at the cafe, riki approaches you at school. he asks if you'd be willing to hang out, just the two of you, to catch up and chat.

you're hesitant at first, unsure if you're ready for such an intimate encounter. but after some thought, you agree, figuring that it could be a chance to further mend the rift between you.

you decide to meet at a nearby park, a place that holds fond memories from your childhood. as you sit on a bench, you both take a moment to soak in the peaceful surroundings.

"so, how have you been?" riki asks, breaking the silence.

"i've been okay," you reply, trying to sound casual. "it's been a journey, but i think i'm getting there."

"i'm glad to hear that," riki says sincerely. "i've been doing a lot of thinking since we last talked, and i just want you to know that i'm truly sorry for everything."

you nod, appreciating his honesty. "thank you. i've been trying to move past it all, and i think i'm getting there too."

the two of you continue to talk, reminiscing about old times and sharing updates about your lives. slowly but surely, the awkwardness fades away, replaced by a sense of ease and familiarity.

as the sun begins to set, you both realize that it's time to head home. but instead of feeling sad, you feel hopeful – hopeful for the future, and for the possibility of rebuilding your friendship with riki.

"it's nice to finally talk without all the tension," riki says, breaking the ice.

"yeah, it really is," you reply, feeling a sense of relief.

you spend the afternoon talking and laughing, reminiscing about old times and sharing stories about what's been happening in your lives. as the sun begins to set, you both realize how much you've missed each other's company.

"we should do this more often," riki says, and you nod in agreement.

A few weeks later, your friend group and riki's friend group decide to have lunch together at a local café. the atmosphere is light and friendly, with everyone chatting and laughing.

sunoo and yuna are their usual bubbly selves, striking up conversations with riki's friends jungwon and jake. even riki's girlfriend joins in, adding to the lively banter.

you find yourself enjoying the moment, surrounded by friends old and new. you share jokes and stories, feeling grateful for the sense of community and connection.

as the lunch comes to an end, you realize how much things have changed since that text from riki. while the past will always be a part of your story, you're grateful for the healing and growth that has taken place, both individually and as a group.

you leave the café feeling lighter, knowing that no matter what the future holds, you have a strong support system by your side.

a month later, life has settled into a comfortable rhythm. you and riki have continued to hang out occasionally, building a friendship based on mutual respect and understanding.

your friend groups have also grown closer, often spending weekends together hiking, watching movies, or just hanging out at someone's house. the divide that once existed between your groups has faded, replaced by a sense of camaraderie and friendship.

yuna and you find yourselves in your bedroom, the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting a warm light. you've been talking about life, love, and everything in between when yuna brings up a question that catches you off guard.

"are you really over riki and his girlfriend?" yuna asks, her eyes searching yours.

you pause, taking a moment to consider her question. after a moment of reflection, you nod, a sense of certainty settling over you.

"I think I am," you say, surprised by the truth of your words.

yuna smiles, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "well, if that's the case, how about we spice things up a bit? I know someone who's perfect for you."

you raise an eyebrow, intrigued. "oh? and who might that be?"

"that's a secret," yuna replies, a playful smile playing on her lips.

"are you serious?" you ask, "absolutely," yuna replies, her smile widening. "it'll be fun, trust me."

after a moment of contemplation, you nod, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Okay, let's do it." yuna claps her hands together, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "great! i'll set everything up. this is going to be so much fun!"

the next day at school, you and yuna find yourselves in class, whispering excitedly about the upcoming blind date. yuna fills you in on the details, her eyes sparkling with anticipation, unaware that riki is listening in from the desk behind you.

"so, his name is sunghoon," yuna whispers, her voice barely above a whisper. "he's really sweet and funny, and I think you'll really like him."

you nod, feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement swirling in your stomach. the thought of meeting someone new is both thrilling and terrifying, but you trust yuna's judgment and know that she wouldn't set you up with just anyone.

as you and yuna continue to talk, riki can't help but overhear snippets of your conversation. he leans in closer, his curiosity piqued by the mention of a blind date.

"hey, sorry to eavesdrop, but did I hear you two talking about a blind date?" riki interjects, his voice hesitant.

you and yuna turn to face him, surprised by his sudden interest. you exchange a glance before nodding in unison.

"yeah, yuna set me up with someone," you reply, trying to sound nonchalant.

riki smiles, a hint of warmth in his eyes. "that's great! I hope it goes well for you, yn."

you're taken aback by his genuine well wishes, a pang of gratitude swelling in your chest. despite the ups and downs of your past, it's moments like these that remind you of the bond you once shared with riki.

"thanks, riki," you say, offering him a small smile. "I appreciate it."

as the bell rings, signaling the start of class, you can't help but feel a sense of excitement building inside you. the prospect of meeting someone new fills you with hope and anticipation, and you can't wait to see where this blind date will lead.

later that day, as the sun begins to set, you find yourself getting ready for the blind date. yuna, sunoo, and even riki are at your house, helping you choose the perfect outfit and giving you pep talks to calm your nerves.

yuna rummages through your closet, pulling out various dresses and tops, while sunoo raids your makeup bag, expertly applying just the right amount of eyeliner and lip gloss. riki, ever the supportive friend, offers words of encouragement, his reassuring presence helping to ease your jitters.

as you make your way downstairs, yuna calls out to you, her voice tinged with excitement. you take a deep breath and step into view, your heart pounding in your chest.

for a moment, everything seems to slow down as you catch riki's gaze. you notice the way his eyes widen in surprise, his breath catching in his throat. but just as quickly as it happened, he blinks, a mask of neutrality settling over his features.

you tear your gaze away from him, feeling a twinge of disappointment in your chest. you remind yourself that tonight is about you and your blind date, not about riki and his reaction.

"you look amazing, yn," yuna says, her eyes shining with pride.

"thanks, yuna," you reply, forcing a smile.

sunoo chimes in with a whistle, his grin widening. "yeah, you're going to knock his socks off."

you laugh nervously, the butterflies in your stomach fluttering at their words. you take a deep breath, pushing aside any lingering doubts or insecurities.

"thanks, guys," you say, your voice filled with gratitude. "wish me luck."

you hear the doorbell ring, signaling the arrival of your blind date, sunghoon. your heart skips a beat as you make your way to the door, nerves and excitement mingling inside you.

yuna bursts out in excitement, practically bouncing with joy. "he's here!" she exclaims, rushing past you to open the door.

sunoo follows closely behind, his excitement palpable. "can't wait to meet this guy!" he says, flashing you a thumbs up.

as yuna opens the door, you catch your first glimpse of sunghoon. he stands there, a shy smile on his face, looking just as nervous as you feel. but there's something about his demeanor that puts you at ease, and you can't help but return his smile.

"hi, I'm sunghoon," he says, extending his hand towards you.

"hi, I'm yn," you reply, shaking his hand.

yuna practically squeals with delight, ushering sunghoon inside. "come in, come in! we're so excited to have you here."

sunoo joins in, greeting sunghoon with a warm smile. "hey, man, nice to meet you. hope you're ready for a fun night."

as everyone gathers in the living room, you don't notice riki's subdued demeanor. there's a hint of something in his eyes. but he says nothing, keeping his feelings to himself as he watches you and sunghoon interact.

the evening flies by in a blur of laughter and conversation. yn and sunghoon find themselves lost in each other's company, their initial nerves melting away as they bond over shared interests and experiences.

yn and sunghoon's date unfolds like a scene from a romantic movie. they share stories and jokes, finding an instant connection that makes time fly by.

as they walk through the park, yn stumbles over a rock, nearly falling. sunghoon catches her by the arm, his touch sending a shiver down her spine.

"careful there," he says with a chuckle, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

yn blushes, grateful for his quick reflexes. "thanks for saving me," she replies, her cheeks flushing pink.

they find a cozy spot under a tree, the sunlight filtering through the leaves above them. sunghoon pulls out a blanket, spreading it out on the grass before sitting down beside yn.

"here, let's sit," he says, patting the space next to him.

yn smiles, joining him on the blanket. they sit close together, their shoulders brushing as they talk about their favorite books and movies.

as the sun begins to set, yn reaches into her bag and pulls out a small picnic she prepared earlier. sunghoon's eyes light up at the sight of the food, and he eagerly digs in.

"this is delicious," he says between bites, his mouth full of food.

yn laughs, handing him a napkin. "glad you like it. i wasn't sure what you'd enjoy, so i made a little bit of everything."

after they finish eating, yn pulls out her phone and starts playing some music. sunghoon smiles when he recognizes one of his favorite songs, and he grabs yn's hand, pulling her up to dance with him.

they sway to the music, their movements perfectly in sync. yn can't help but feel a rush of happiness as she twirls around with sunghoon, their laughter filling the air.

as the night draws to a close, sunghoon walks yn to her doorstep, a shy smile playing on his lips. he hesitates for a moment before speaking up.

"yn, tonight has been amazing," he says, his voice soft and sincere. "I feel like I've known you for much longer than just a few hours."

yn's heart flutters at his words, a warm feeling spreading through her chest. "I feel the same way, sunghoon," she replies, her voice barely above a whisper.

sunghoon takes a step closer, his eyes locking with yn's. "there's something I've been wanting to do all night," he says, his cheeks tinged with a hint of pink.

yn's breath catches in her throat as she waits for him to continue. she can feel the anticipation building between them, the air crackling with tension.

"can I kiss you?" sunghoon asks, his voice barely a whisper.

yn's heart races at his question, her cheeks flushing with warmth. she nods, her lips curving into a shy smile.

sunghoon leans in slowly, his hand coming up to gently cup yn's cheek. their lips meet in a soft, tentative kiss, the world around them fading away as they lose themselves in the moment.

"so, how was the date?" yuna asks, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.

yn can't help but smile as she recounts the evening's events, from the charming picnic in the park to the impromptu dance under the stars. she can feel her cheeks flushing with warmth as she remembers the way sunghoon's lips felt against hers, sending a flutter of excitement through her.

"and then, at the end of the night, he asked if he could kiss me," yn says, her voice tinged with excitement.

but before anyone can respond, riki suddenly gets up from his seat, his expression unreadable.

"uh, sorry guys, I just remembered that I need to see my girlfriend," he says hastily, his tone clipped.

yn watches in confusion as riki hurries out of the room, leaving the rest of the group exchanging puzzled glances.

"that was strange," sunoo remarks, breaking the awkward silence.

yn furrows her brow, feeling a sense of unease settle over her. she can't shake the feeling that there's something riki isn't telling them, something lurking beneath the surface of his sudden departure.

the group's focus shifts back to school and studies, with exams and assignments looming on the horizon. they spend long hours at the library, poring over textbooks and notes, helping each other understand difficult concepts and prepare for tests.

despite the pressures of school, yn finds herself looking forward to each day, her heart still fluttering from her magical date with sunghoon. she feels grateful for the support of her friends, who are always there to lend a helping hand or a listening ear whenever she needs it.

as the weeks pass, yn's relationship with sunghoon continues to blossom. they go on more dates, exploring new restaurants and attractions in the city, deepening their bond with each passing day.

meanwhile, riki keeps his distance, his interactions with yn becoming more and more rare. yn can't help but feel a pang of sadness at the growing distance between them, but she knows that sometimes, people drift apart, and there's nothing she can do to change that.

yn finally gathers the courage to confront riki about his distance. one afternoon, as they sit together in the cafeteria, she broaches the topic gently.

"hey, riki, i've noticed that we haven't been hanging out as much lately. is everything okay?" yn asks, her tone filled with concern.

riki hesitates for a moment before responding, a forced smile on his face. "oh, yeah, everything's fine. i've just been spending more time with my girlfriend lately, you know how it is."

yn nods, accepting his explanation at face value. she doesn't want to push him if he's not ready to open up, but she can't shake the feeling that there's something he's not telling her.

"of course, i understand," she replies, trying to sound casual.

but deep down, yn can't help but feel a twinge of disappointment. she misses the easy camaraderie they used to share, the inside jokes and late-night conversations. she wonders if things will ever go back to how they were, or if their friendship has changed irrevocably.

despite her doubts, yn chooses to believe riki's words, pushing aside her concerns for the sake of their friendship.

riki sat by the window, the soft glow of the evening sun casting warm hues across the room. his mind was anything but peaceful. he couldn't shake off the unsettling feeling that had been gnawing at him for days. it all started innocently, just a casual encounter with yn at a local cafe. but now, it felt like a storm brewing within him.

he had a girlfriend, mina, whom he deeply cared for. they had been together for almost two years now, and she was his rock, his confidante. but lately, whenever he was around yn, something stirred inside him. it was a confusing mix of familiarity and attraction that he couldn't quite comprehend.

yn was an old friend, someone he had known since childhood. they had shared countless memories together, but their relationship had always been platonic. yet, as they caught up over coffee that day, riki couldn't ignore the subtle shifts in their conversation, the lingering gazes that lingered just a tad too long.

as he replayed their encounter in his mind, riki couldn't help but wonder if there was something more between them, something he had been blind to all these years. but the thought of betraying mina filled him with guilt and shame. she trusted him implicitly, and he couldn't bear to hurt her.

lost in his thoughts, riki didn't notice mina enter the room until she spoke his name softly. startled, he turned to face her, forcing a smile to his lips. but mina, ever perceptive, sensed his unease immediately.

"is everything okay, riki?" she asked, concern etched in her voice.

riki hesitated, unsure of how to articulate the turmoil raging inside him. but mina's gentle touch on his hand encouraged him to speak.

"i don't know, mina," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "i feel like… like i'm questioning things, things i thought i was certain of."

mina listened attentively as riki poured out his conflicted feelings, his heart heavy with guilt. when he finally fell silent, she reached out and cupped his face in her hands, her eyes filled with understanding.

"it's okay to have doubts, riki," she said softly. "but remember, what truly matters is how you choose to act on them. you have a choice, and whatever path you take, i'll be here for you."

her words offered him a sliver of solace amidst the chaos of his emotions. with a grateful smile, riki leaned into mina's embrace, feeling the weight of his doubts lift ever so slightly.

one lazy sunday afternoon, as sunghoon and you lounged on the sunlit balcony of your apartment, you suddenly perked up with an idea.

"you know what would be amazing?" you exclaimed, your eyes gleaming with excitement. "why don't we invite all our friends for a trip to the beachside?"

sunghoon's interest was immediately piqued as he turned to you, a grin spreading across his face. "that sounds like a fantastic idea! imagine all of us together, enjoying the sun, sand, and sea."

with your enthusiasm ignited, you wasted no time in gathering your laptops and diving into the task of planning the ultimate beach getaway. you started researching the best beach destinations, while sunghoon focused on finding accommodation options that could accommodate your group.

as you scrolled through countless travel websites and read reviews, you bounced ideas off each other, your excitement growing with each passing minute. you envisioned long days spent lounging on the beach, building sandcastles, and indulging in delicious seafood dinners as the sun dipped below the horizon.

after much deliberation, you finally settled on a picturesque beach resort that offered something for everyone—plenty of water sports for the adventurous, serene beachfront for the relaxation seekers, and vibrant nightlife for those who wanted to dance the night away.

with your destination chosen and accommodation booked, you wasted no time in sending out invitations to your friends. the response was overwhelmingly positive, with everyone eager to escape the hustle and bustle of city life for a few days of sun-soaked bliss.

with your enthusiasm ignited, you wasted no time in grabbing your phones and drafting a group text message to your friends. sunghoon leaned in eagerly, watching as you typed out the invitation.

"hey guys! ☀️🌊 we're planning a beach trip for spring break and would love for all of you to join us! 🏖️ let us know if you're in, and we'll start planning the details! 🎉"

with a tap of the send button, the message was on its way to jake, jungwon, riki, mina, sunoo, and yuna. you couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement as you imagined the fun times ahead with your closest friends.

as you waited for their responses, sunghoon wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. "this is going to be epic," he said with a grin, and you couldn't agree more.

the day had finally arrived, and the car was packed with excitement as sunghoon revved the engine, ready to hit the road. yn sat beside him in the passenger seat, the wind tousling her hair as she glanced back at their friends piled into the back seats.

"alright, everyone ready?" sunghoon called out, a grin on his face.

"let's do this!" yn cheered, turning up the music.

as they pulled out of the driveway, the convoy of cars behind them, the group erupted into cheers and laughter. jake, sitting in the back, leaned forward, shouting, "sunghoon, don't make this a slow drive! we've got a beach waiting for us!"

sunghoon chuckled, glancing at yn. "you heard him, time to put the pedal to the metal!"

the music blared, and soon everyone was singing along, their voices merging into a cacophony of joy. jungwon, sitting in the back, started a game of "name that tune" with riki, while mina and yuna joined in, trying to guess the songs.

"i bet i can guess the next song within the first three seconds," sunoo declared confidently from the back seat.

"you're on!" yn exclaimed, turning up the volume even more.

as they drove, the banter and laughter continued, filling the car with a sense of camaraderie and adventure. sunghoon couldn't help but steal glances at yn, her smile lighting up her face, and he felt a surge of gratitude for these moments with his friends.

after a while on the road, the chatter in the car had settled into smaller conversations. riki found himself drifting into his own thoughts, his gaze wandering over the passing scenery. but no matter how hard he tried to focus on the conversation with mina, his attention kept being drawn to sunghoon and yn in the front seats.

sunghoon's hand rested casually on yn's knee, and every now and then, they would exchange a glance, a smile passing between them that spoke volumes. riki couldn't help but feel a pang of envy as he watched them, the easy affection between them reminding him of what he wished he had with mina.

shaking off the feeling, riki turned to mina, forcing a smile. "hey, babe, what do you think about stopping for some snacks at the next rest area?"

mina's attention had also been on sunghoon and yn, but she turned to riki with a smile, nodding in agreement. "sure, sounds good. i could go for some chips and soda."

as they continued their journey, riki made a conscious effort to engage more with mina, asking about her day and sharing stories from work. but every now and then, his gaze would drift back to sunghoon and yn, their laughter and whispered conversations a constant reminder of what he longed for.

deep down, riki knew that he needed to focus on his own relationship and cherish what he had with mina. but as they drove on, the lingering feeling of longing tugged at his heart, leaving him wondering if he would ever find the kind of love that sunghoon and yn shared.

at the rest stop, riki stepped out of the car, hoping the fresh air would clear his mind. he knew he needed to shake off the envy he felt towards sunghoon and yn, but it seemed to cling to him like a stubborn shadow.

as they walked towards the convenience store, riki found himself gravitating towards mina, slipping his arm around her waist. he hoped that by showing affection towards her, he could distract himself from the thoughts swirling in his mind.

mina glanced up at riki, surprised by his sudden display of affection, but she smiled warmly and leaned into his embrace. "everything okay, riki?" she asked softly.

"yeah, just wanted to be close to you," riki replied, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

meanwhile, yn observed the couple with a knowing smile, her eyes meeting sunghoon's briefly before she nudged him playfully. "look at them, aren't they adorable?" she remarked, gesturing towards riki and mina.

sunghoon followed her gaze, his lips curving into a fond smile as he watched riki and mina. "yeah, they really are," he agreed, a hint of amusement in his voice.

as they strolled towards the store, yuna and jake exchanged a glance, both noticing riki's unusual behavior. jake nudged yuna subtly, nodding towards riki and mina.

"do you think riki's okay?" jake whispered, furrowing his brows in concern.

yuna bit her lip, her gaze lingering on riki for a moment before turning back to jake. "i'm not sure. he seems a bit off, doesn't he? do you think he's regretting something?"

jake shrugged, his expression thoughtful. "maybe. remember when riki rejected yn a while back? could be that it's hitting him now."

yuna frowned, her mind racing with possibilities. "but he's with mina now. surely he wouldn't be dwelling on that, right?"

jake shrugged again, uncertainty clouding his features. "who knows? let's keep an eye on him, just in case."

as they browsed the aisles of the store, jake subtly veered towards riki, finding a moment when they were momentarily alone.

"hey, riki," jake began softly, his tone laced with concern. "is everything alright?"

riki glanced up, caught off guard by jake's question. he hesitated for a moment before nodding, a forced smile on his lips. "yeah, everything's fine. just tired from the drive, i guess."

jake studied riki's expression, sensing there was more to it than just fatigue. "are you sure? you seem a bit off today. is there something on your mind?"

riki shifted uncomfortably, his gaze flickering away for a moment before returning to jake. "it's nothing, really. just some stuff i've been thinking about."

jake's concern deepened, but he didn't push further, respecting riki's privacy. instead, he offered a reassuring smile. "well, if you ever want to talk about it, i'm here, okay? we're all here for you."

riki managed a grateful smile, touched by jake's gesture of support. "thanks, jake. i appreciate it."

as the group arrived at the rented beach house, excitement bubbled among them like the waves crashing against the shore. sunghoon and the boys quickly offered to bring in the girls' suitcases, a gesture of chivalry that wasn't lost on anyone.

riki's eyes darted towards yn as he rushed to her side, eager to offer his assistance. but before he could reach her, yn smiled warmly and waved him off, insisting that sunghoon had it covered. sunoo and yuna exchanged knowing glances, sensing the tension in the air, but mina remained oblivious to riki's internal struggle.

"thanks, riki, but sunghoon's got this," yn reassured him, her voice gentle but firm.

riki nodded, his heart sinking slightly at the rejection, but he plastered on a smile and turned towards mina. "no problem, i can help you with yours," he offered, hoping to distract himself from the sting of disappointment.

mina beamed at him, grateful for his offer, and together they headed towards the car to retrieve her suitcase. as they walked, riki couldn't shake the feeling of unease that lingered within him, wondering why he felt so unsettled by yn's rejection. but for now, he pushed those thoughts aside, determined to enjoy their beachside getaway to the fullest.

inside the beach house, the sounds of laughter and excitement filled the air as the group settled in. yn and jake found themselves in the kitchen, working together to prepare lunch while the others explored the house.

as they chopped vegetables and stirred pots on the stove, jake couldn't help but feel the weight of the conversation he wanted to have with yn about riki. he cleared his throat, choosing his words carefully.

"so, um, yn," jake began tentatively, his eyes focused on the cutting board in front of him. "i couldn't help but notice that riki seemed a bit… off earlier. do you think everything's okay with him?"

yn glanced up from her task, pausing for a moment before setting down her knife. she met jake's gaze, her expression thoughtful. "yeah, i noticed that too," she admitted, her voice tinged with concern. "i'm not sure what's going on with him. he seemed fine before, but now…"

jake nodded, relieved that yn shared his observations. "do you think we should talk to him about it? maybe see if he wants to open up?"

yn considered for a moment before nodding in agreement. "yeah, that might be a good idea. it's always good to check in with each other, especially when something seems off."

with a shared sense of determination, yn and jake continued their meal preparations, but their conversation lingered on riki, both of them silently hoping that they could offer him the support he needed.

finding a secluded spot away from the others, sunghoon approached riki with a gentle demeanor, a concerned expression etched on his face. he knew he needed to broach the delicate topic with sensitivity, aware of the potential impact it could have on their friendship.

"hey, riki," sunghoon began softly, his voice carrying the weight of his concern. "i wanted to chat with you for a moment, if that's okay."

riki looked up, surprised by sunghoon's approach, but he nodded, sensing the seriousness in his friend's tone. "yeah, sure. what's on your mind?"

sunghoon took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before speaking. "i've noticed that you've seemed a bit… preoccupied lately, especially around yn," he started cautiously. "and i just wanted to check in with you, see how you're doing."

riki's expression tensed slightly, a flicker of discomfort crossing his features. "i'm fine, really," he replied quickly, but sunghoon could sense the underlying unease in his friend's voice.

sunghoon sighed softly, his gaze gentle yet firm. "look, riki, i know things might feel a bit complicated, especially with the history between you and yn," he continued, choosing his words carefully. "but you need to know that both of us have girlfriends now, and yn has moved on. she's with me."

riki's shoulders slumped, a mixture of relief and sadness washing over him. "i know," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "i guess… i guess i just needed to hear it."

sunghoon placed a reassuring hand on riki's shoulder, offering him a supportive smile. "it's okay to have feelings, riki. but it's important to respect boundaries and focus on the present. we're all here for you, okay?"

despite sunghoon's compassionate words and riki's own understanding of the situation, the confusion swirling within him refused to dissipate entirely. riki found himself caught in a tumult of emotions, torn between his lingering feelings for yn and the commitment he had to respect the boundaries of her relationship with sunghoon, as well as his own relationship with mina.

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen au #engene #enha #enhypen x reader #nishimura riki #ni ki #riki nishimura x reader #enhypen riki #riki x reader #riki fluff

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ode2rin · 9 months

Text

US, AGAIN .ೃ

pairing. itoshi sae x gn!reader

genre. second chance (exes back to lovers!) | a bit of small town romance | a sprinkle of childhood friends to lovers (past) | angst with a happy ending

in which: itoshi sae returns to the only place on earth he vows to never set foot again.

💭 flashbacks are italicized and indented :>

Six years.

In those six long years of his absence, you couldn't deny that you rehearsed countless scenarios of encountering him upon his return.

If by chance he still wanted to see you, or even look at you, you imagined giving him a small smile, a carefully crafted facade of composure, before gracefully walking away, as if life had moved on effortlessly for both of you.

That’s what you imagined. Just walk away, like how life went on for the both of you.

But reality never seemed to align with your reveries. The sight of him wasn't remotely serene enough to prompt a composed exit. Seeing him made your throat tighten, and your heart danced in a rhythm only he could create.

Six damn years had passed since you last saw him on that balcony, and now, with him back in town, avoiding him seemed like the only right thing to do.

You don’t know how long he’ll be here, but it is now your life mission to avoid him at all cost. Today's encounter was just an unfortunate event—an inevitable twist of fate. Their house was literally right in front of your family's, making it hard to escape the nearness of the past.

“So, he’s back in town?”

Hari's voice, your co-worker and now a dear friend, snapped you back from the reverie of yesterday's memories. The sound of her voice broke through the nostalgic haze, pulling you back to the present.

“What?”

“I asked if your childhood friend who is also a superstar slash professional athlete slash your only ex is back,” she mischievously asked, even miming quotation marks to emphasize each title she created.

You chuckled softly, shaking your head at her antics. Your gaze drifted to the freshly baked pastries, their delightful aroma greeting your senses like a warm embrace as you artfully displayed them on the shelves. The familiar scent of coffee and delightful confections used to calm you, but now it mingled with the storm of emotions inside.

“Yeah, it's basically the talk of the town. He's famous after all,” you replied, trying to sound nonchalant and still focused on your work, using it as a shield to hide your vulnerability.

But in reality, the sight of him earlier had caught you off guard, and you had turned the other way to avoid him. Your heart was still racing from the almost encounter, and the comforting ambiance of your coffee shop provided little solace.

“Did he see you?”

“I pray to all saints that he didn’t,” you deadpanned, your facade of composure beginning to falter.

“What did he look like now?”

You hesitated, your mind flashing back to that fleeting glimpse of him earlier.

Far from what was once mine. “Good.”

“That’s it? Good?”

No. He looked gorgeous. He looked painfully gorgeous.

“What do you want me to say?” you countered, throwing a side glance to her persistence.

In that fleeting moment, you caught a glimpse of how much he had changed. He looked undeniably handsome, lean, and with a certain maturity that hadn't been there before.

He… looked different.

And that's good—for you and for him. It meant that life there treated him well, and it eased some of the lingering guilt you carried.

You and Hari fell into a consuming silence, your backs turned away from each other. Even with closed eyes, you sensed that she wanted to ask something. You didn't want to initiate the conversation, but this suffocating silence had to go.

As you stepped behind the counter, you were met with Hari's concerned eyes and a voice laden with hesitation. “What are you going to do then?” she carefully asked.

You pressed your lips together, momentarily at a loss for words.

So you did what you do best: mask hurting with laughter.

“Is there anything I should do?” you paused, the sound of your fake laughter ringing in your ears. “It's been years. We made a choice.”

But Hari wasn't ready to let the matter rest, and you don’t know how to tell her you’re close to calling it a day. “You made a choice for him,” she countered gently, her tone filled with empathy.

Stunned was an understatement. Caught off guard would be an apt description. But speechless was exactly how you felt.

That, you couldn't mask with anything.

So you did what you weren’t best at: admitting the truth.

“And I’ll do it again,” you whispered in return. It was faint, because it was more for you than more of a reply to her.

You were both young, and half oblivious to what it would be like outside, where the world wasn’t painted in golden hues and the gentle waves were replaced by blaring cars.

You were both seventeen, young and living for the hope of it all.

But you lived for days like those – days where both of you just had to be kids still. No worries, no voices of what might come.

“Tell me about your dreams, Sae.” “Tch. You already know about it.”

You did. All of it, you knew. Since you were kids, no one knew him like you did. You were his lover and confidant. You knew about it, all too well and all too much.

“Come on!” you persisted, giving him an enthusiastic look. “The sky looks so pretty in this sunset, I want it to know about us.” The setting sun painted the sky in hues of pink and orange, casting a warm glow over the beach as you and Sae sat side by side in the sand. The sound of gentle waves caressed your ears, creating a serene backdrop for your beach date. He hesitated for a moment, looking out at the horizon. Then there it was, a glint of determination flashed in his usually reserved eyes. “To be the best striker in the world.” You couldn't help but be captivated by the sight. It was the first time you had seen such an unusual spark in his eyes. Sae's gaze was often cold and impersonal, but now it was as if stars were hanging in his eyes, reflecting the infinite possibilities of his dreams. Sae is handsome, mysteriously beautiful even. But this, nothing will beat how dreamy he looks when he speaks of his craft. You liked this look on him - so ambitious, so driven. It made your heart flutter with admiration. Seeing this glint in his eyes right now, you knew you wanted to do anything in your power to let it stay there.

And you did, you held on and held out. Until you turned nineteen, when you had let him go to the big cities where he rightfully belonged.

You smiled, a genuine, heartwarming smile, and leaned in to press a tender kiss on his cheek. “I’m sure you will be the best.”

Maybe you bit off more than what you could chew, but in the end, you’d do it all over again. Because what you did, the choice you made – it was for the best.

You were both nineteen, young and eager to grasp the world's offerings with hopeful hands.

But despite the certainty you tried to hold onto, there were nights when the memories tugged at your heartstrings like it did now. You knew it was the right choice, that you both needed to chase your dreams separately — especially his dreams. But it didn't erase the whispers of what-ifs that occasionally crept into your mind.

But life — life went on. Life never waits for anyone, anyway. And so, you worked diligently to craft a future that no longer had room for regrets.

But love leaves echoes, and his presence back in town stirred those dormant feelings. With him being in the same place, you felt like a stranger in your own town.

It was easier when he was thousands of miles away, an untouchable star on a different horizon. But now, with the universe conspiring to bring you close again, you couldn't help but feel like a wanderer in the galaxy of memories you built together.

After all, everything here in this town is about you and him.

Six years.

Was it that long? He couldn’t really tell. Maybe time really does pass fast when your life is falling apart.

It has been six years since Sae has sat on the balcony of his childhood home. And like the sick bastard fate was, he’s welcomed by the sight of your horrified yet still so damn fucking beautiful face.

Perhaps the saints you prayed to didn’t hear any of your pleas, because despite calling out to each one, Sae saw you.

There you were, a flicker in the periphery of his vision, desperately trying to avoid him. He was trained to be very aware of his field of vision, so there was no way he wasn’t able to notice your frantic leaving and the hurried closing of your house’s door as you noticed him.

He let you be, holding back the overwhelming desire to call out your name like he used to when both of you were running late to class. He let you be, because if you were to ask him, he wouldn’t know how to look you in the eye without a thousand words reflecting on his own.

[Attention, everyone. This is the final boarding call for passengers of flight 924 to Madrid, Spain. Again, this is the final –] “Sae, you’re going to miss your flight. They’re not coming.” No. “They’re not coming, Sae. You have to get on the plane.” No. No. Shut up.

He needed you there, more than anyone. A thousand people could cheer and show up for Itoshi Sae, but his eyes will always search the crowd for just one — just yours.

Yet, alas, you were nowhere to be found. And so, that very same day, Sae vowed to never come back to this place.

He hated this town and you, he’s convinced.

Sae had always been indifferent to a lot of people, everyone knew that. But never in a hundred years would anyone who knew you both think you’d be on that list. And deep down, he didn’t want to believe it either – until that day you decided not to show up when you promised you would.

He wasn't stupid. He had an inkling of why you did what you did. Yet, irrationality overpowered reason, and all he wanted that day was to run the distance between the airport and your house – to see your face, to remind you that he had plans, plans for both of you.

When Sae’s manager informed him that he needed to come home for a while to renew his passport, it was as if all of his suppressed recollections of this place – of you, came pouring out to his soul all at once.

Every street, every corner, every memory — they all threatened to consume him. His family, Rin, this town, and you – you were all the things he left behind for the dream.

Dream. Best Striker in the world. What did it even mean? Long ago, he thought he knew.

But it had to work. Everything had to work. He lost you for this dream. And if he loses it too, then what does that make him? A sore failure. And Sae was never known to be admissible to failing.

Whatever hell he encountered on the other side of the world, he swore he would never return home. Even when he was traversing across a path to ruin of being the person he thought he would be, he would never ever choose to come home.

Anywhere, but here. Anywhere, but home.

So there he was, the renowned glorious prodigy of japan. He was close to everything after countless mishaps.

He’s getting closer and closer to the new dream yet getting farther and farther away from home.

Home. What does it even mean? Lately, he doesn’t even know.

And after that day, no one ever mentioned your name to him. No one in his new world knew about you. No one knew how Itoshi Sae's world used to revolve around someone's soft smiles and easy eyes.

He never asked anyone not to mention you; he wasn't one to ask, after all. But for some reason, no one dared to. Not even Rin. It was as if one mention of you in his presence was a carefully crafted brick used to make his castles crumble to the ground.

He hated that, but maybe they were right. Because with just a second's worth of a glimpse of you from earlier, Sae indeed felt his castles crumbling, piece by piece.

He hates you, for making his resolve crumble. For being the one person who can make his vow to never look back fall apart.

He hates you, because everything in this forsaken place is about you and him. Memories of your shared youth are etched into the very walls and streets, haunting him like ghosts of a past he can't escape.

He hates you, for not trusting you two would work it out somehow, and for giving up before the game even began.

He hates you, because it was easier that way. Easier to pretend he didn't care, that you didn't matter, and that you were just another soul he knows a little too much of.

Sae could go on and on listing a hundred more, and yet he knows, only one of it was true – and that he hates you for making him convince himself that he does, just to cope with leaving half of his heart to the only place he vowed never to come back to.

It was a jinx to say that yesterday’s encounter was already an unfortunate event, because today, you literally learned a whole new degree of unfortunate and unlucky – by having Itoshi Sae as your first customer of the day.

“Welcome! How may I help you toda— S-Sae.”

And to even top it off, today was Hari’s day off. It meant that you’re currently alone in the same confined four-cornered room with the person you swore you would avoid like it’s your life mission.

Damn it, Hari. Of all days. Her day off really had to be today.

Itoshi Sae, in the goddamn flesh, is standing in your place two meters away from you, yet you’re having a hard time feeling your feet on the ground and your heart beating so damn loud.

He wasn’t looking at you (thank god), and had his eyes exploring the place with a neutral expression playing on his face. Suddenly, you feel like sixteen again back when he was looking at the first set of cookies you’ve ever baked and you were dying to hear what he thinks of your craft.

“It’s yours?”

You gulp.

You gulped down the urge to tear up with how much his voice changed. You gulped down the urge to cry because he assumed you had your dream turn into reality too.

“Yeah,” you replied in whisper, your eyes following where he was looking, trying to avoid any chance it will meet his, “it’s not much but —”

“It’s beautiful.” Even before Sae could hear your meek comment of yourself, he cut you off.

You were always like that —downplaying your hard work, belittling yourself even before someone does. He hated that about you.

He used to get mad at you for it, especially when someone made fun of you at school and you didn’t defend yourself. He always makes you cry whenever he points it out, so he stopped. Instead, he made it his role to rebuild your confidence. Sae wasn't known for being generous in compliments. It would probably take one hand to count all the instances that he genuinely called someone along the lines of not dumb, stupid, lukewarm.

But it was never the case with you. With you, to say beautiful was always a second nature to Sae's tongue.

And he wasn’t lying though. Your coffee shop was really charmingly cozy, and so like you. It’s so much alike to what you used to tell him how you envisioned it would be.

The coffee shop was a quaint haven nestled right at the edge of the sandy shore. Its exterior, adorned with weathered wooden panels and soft, warm hues, exuded a rustic charm that welcomed passersby with open arms. Sunlight spilled through large windows, casting gentle rays that danced upon the vintage, mosaic-tiled floor.

It’s beautiful, and it’s in front of our place. He wanted to say to you, but he stopped at beautiful not wanting to make things more awkward than it should.

The coffee shop, it’s right in front of the beach. It’s in front of that one spot you and him used to call ours.

It’s the first thing he noticed before coming inside, and it made him wonder whether you knew or he’s the only one who remembers it even now.

Bashful, you uttered a silent thank you to his remark, “What would you like to order?” you followed up, trying to maintain composure despite your heart racing in your chest.

Noticing that he’s been too silent for someone who’s about to order something, you looked up to your menu, and immediately, you understood his silence. If one were to point out, it is too immediate for someone who’s almost strangers to each other.

“We have non-caffeinated drinks too,” you hurriedly said to him, your voice quivering slightly as you tried to break the spell of awkward silence.

He gulps, his eyes locked with yours in a moment that felt like eternity.

He can’t drink coffee, it ruins his body clock, and you knew that. You still know that.

It appears that he's not the only one who remembers, after all.

A thousand emotions danced in his eyes, each one a testament to the love that once blossomed between you. The coffee shop, once a quaint haven, now felt like a crucible of emotions, and the atmosphere was thick with unspoken words, heavy with the weight of what could have been.

Your breath caught in your throat, and you couldn't look away, despite the rush of memories and unspoken words flooding your mind. It was as if time had folded in on itself, and you were once again those young souls who found solace in each other's presence.

But this was different, much more complicated. The past was a turbulent sea, and even though you had both moved on with your lives, there was still a deep, lingering connection that couldn't be severed.

Yet, you knew better than to let those emotions take control. You made a choice, you have to stand by it.

You were no longer the naive teenagers who believed love could conquer all. Reality had taught you both harsh lessons, and the wounds of the past still lingered, threatening to reopen with each stolen glance.

“I’ll have your best seller of it then,” he finally broke the silence, his voice steady despite the tempest inside.

With a nod, you turned to prepare his order, your hands trying to steady themselves. You couldn't help but wonder if he noticed the tremor in your fingers or the way your heart seemed to echo in every beat.

As you handed him his drink, your fingertips brushed lightly against his hand, and for a brief moment, the world stood still.

He took the cup from you, and for a fleeting moment, you both lingered, almost as if neither of you wanted to let go. He could stay in this, playing pretend. Pretend none of it happened, pretend he never left, pretend it worked out in the end.

But he can’t, not when you stepped back first, breaking the contact between you and reminding him of the choice you made.

“Thank you,” he managed to say, his voice softer now, filled with a hint of something even he couldn't quite decipher.

“You’re welcome,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

And just like that, the moment passed, slipping through your fingers like sand. He turned to leave, and you watched him walk away, every step taking him farther from the life you once shared.

Perhaps, in some parallel universe, there existed a version of you who chose differently, who stayed intertwined with him in a tale of love that defied all odds. But here, in this reality, both of you were no longer who you used to be.

In this universe, you're just some two ghosts standing in the place of you and him, haunted by the memories of what once was while trying to remember what it feels to have a heartbeat.

After Sae’s visit yesterday, saying that you weren’t doing fine would be a gross understatement.

Your emotions were all over the place, and you couldn't seem to find a stable ground for your thoughts. It didn't help when your parents casually mentioned that he was leaving town later today. Apparently, Mrs. Itoshi had a little gossip session with the neighbors, unknowingly revealing a piece of her oldest son's business.

He’s leaving, and that's good—for you and for him.

As you stood behind the counter of the coffee shop, you absentmindedly glanced out the window, your eyes drawn to the beach. The sight of the shore brought back a flood of memories.

Maybe in another life, the two of you could still dance along the sandy shore, playfully splashing water at each other. He would chase after you, catching hold of your waist as he sweeps you off your feet. And perhaps, just perhaps, you would have the chance to embrace him tightly once again, with your arms wrapped around his neck while you share a kiss as greedy and fiery as the sea’s yearning for the moon.

And maybe, in another life, your story wouldn’t end with both of you being strangers who know a little too much about each other.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice the tears streaming down your cheeks until Hari whispered, “Y/N... you're crying.”

“Oh, I am,” you admitted, trying to regain your composure.

Your heart lurched as you tried to suppress the tears, but they kept flowing relentlessly. “Hari…” you whispered, shocked by your own emotional outpouring.

Hari's eyes reflected pity as she watched you, her voice soft and understanding. “Go,” she encouraged, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, “Get your man. I'll take care of everything here.”

The words hit you like a lifeline, a spark of hope igniting within you. You quickly removed your apron and grabbed your keys, determined to catch him before it was too late.

But before you could dash out, Hari's voice echoed through the shop, loud and clear, “Go! Be happy! And for the love of god, no more sacrifices as a love language!”

With one last glance at her and your coffee shop, you rushed out the door.

The airport seemed like a maze of bustling strangers as you frantically searched for the departure gates. Every passing second felt like an eternity, the fear of missing him consuming you.

Desperation and determination fueled your steps as you approached the flight attendant, your voice trembling, “Flight to Spain — I need to know about the flight to Spain for today.”

The attendant looked at you with sympathy, “I'm sorry, but all flights to Spain have already left. The last one left twenty minutes ago.”

Your heart sank, but you couldn't give up that easily. “Can you check again? Please. I-I need to see him. Please.”

The attendant double-checked, but the outcome remained unchanged.

Twenty damn minutes. You lost him in just that short amount of time.

Your heart shattered as you realized you had missed your chance. The desperation in your eyes was evident as you felt your world crumbling around you.

In the midst of the bustling airport, you allowed yourself to grieve for what could have been and for the chances you never took.

Six years ago, you were supposed to be here. And maybe if you did, you wouldn't find yourself six years after, wishing you did things differently.

The drive back felt like the longest journey of your life.

The sinking sun painted the sky with hues of orange and pink as you approached the familiar place. As you got closer, you noticed that the shop was already closed, and you assumed Hari had taken care of everything.

But what caught you off guard was the sight of Sae standing there, in front of your place, with a suitcase by his side, as if he were meant to be on a flight rather than standing there.

“You're here,” you whispered, your heart pounding in your chest as you got closer.

“I’m here.”

“Why didn't you leave?” you asked.

Because I’m done convincing myself that I hate you, Sae hesitated to say. “Why did you go to the airport?” he countered instead, avoiding your question.

Because I’m done telling myself that I did the right thing.

There were so many things you wanted to say, but the words were caught in your throat. You bit your lip, not ready to answer his question just yet.

Impatient and desperate, Sae took his chances to ask you the only question that mattered to him at this point, “Tell me you don't love me anymore. I will go. I will do as you please. I just need to hear it from you.”

Your eyes widened at his sudden question, but Sae wasn’t done yet. “Answer me. It’s a yes or no question.”

Lost in a whirlwind of emotions, you couldn't hold back the torrent of words that poured from your heart.

“A yes or no question, you say? Every night, I think of you.”

With each word, your voice wavered, and you couldn't help but express the worries that had plagued you during his absence.

“Were you eating properly? Does the food there suit your liking? You’re a bit picky. Is it too hot there? Were you taking your supplements? Were you being hard on yourself again? Is... is there someone new? There must be, right?”

As the words left your lips, you realized just how much you had been consumed by thoughts of him, wondering about every aspect of his life, even when he was miles away from you.

His reaction to you holding forth seemed to intensify at your last question, but right now, you weren’t ready to listen to him. He needs to listen to you.

“Every single night of the past six years, I yearned for you. I yearned to have you close. I yearned to hold your face just once more. And fuck, I would’ve traded all my tomorrows for just one yesterday with you.”

With those words, the floodgates of emotion burst open, and tears streamed down your cheeks.

Fuck, six years. For six years, you held on and held out. Would it have been easier if both of you had tried, and along the way, lost? Would it have alleviated the pain of what-ifs and what could have been's if you had bargained, if you had gambled? Or would it all have led you right back to this moment, grappling with the same heartache and uncertainty?

Finally, meeting his eyes, you saw a reflection of your own emotions in his. But you weren’t done yet.

“And you dare ask me if I love you. Well, does that answer your fucking question, Itoshi?”

“Then, don’t cross it out. Don’t ever cross it out again.”

Cross what…out?

“I saw your letter,” Sae admitted, causing a momentary confusion to wash over you.

My letter… Bewildered, you couldn't form the right words, and he took it as a sign to continue, and to close the distance between you to hold your hands.

“Tell me, how could I leave after reading that, knowing the only soul who truly knew me was here? You own me, Y/N.”

“I told you countless times before, you own me,” Sae reaffirmed, his grip on your hand tightening as he drew it closer to his lips, planting tender kisses upon your skin.

“There was no one,” he continued, his words carrying a sense of reassurance. “And there's no other warmth comparable to yours that I'd ever let myself bask in. And if there's any, I'd be only fooling myself, pretending it was you instead.”

Sae's voice grew softer, yet resolute. “You own me, even when I'm on the other side of the world. You own me, Y/N. Even in the distance that separated us, even in the years that you claim I'm not."

He stepped closer, his eyes locked with yours, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. “No place can ever own me as much as you do. So, don't ever cross your I love you's to me. I want them – all. I don't want your sorry's.”

“But I’m sorry,” you whispered, for the last time. But Sae gently wiped away your tears.

“It's ‘I love you’ from now on.”

For a moment, you both stayed like that, trying to make up for the lost time. Sae, much like you, dreamed of the day he gets to hold you close once again. He dreamed of a day he gets to watch the sunset from the reflection of your eyes again.

Sae could go on and on listing a hundred more reasons why he shouldn't be standing here, and yet he knew, only one of it was true – and that he hated himself for convincing himself that he shouldn't be here – to you, in his hometown.

Sae may have vowed to never come back to this place, but it was always a lie, because for all he knew, it's the only place he truly belonged. Half of his heart was left here, with you.

“Come on,” Sae said, and you followed him, curiosity in your eyes.

“Where are we going?”

“There,” Sae pointed to the beach, your spot, specifically. “To our place. The sky looks pretty, and I want it to know about us, again.”

“Us... again?” you asked hesitantly.

“If you would take me back.” Sae answered, a hint of fear in his eyes, afraid that he might be assuming this second chance for the two of you.

You took his hand in response, and squeezed it three times. “I want nothing more than to be with you, again.”

Without any more words, Sae gently cupped your cheeks, his touch sending shivers down your spine. The touch of his fingers was both familiar and new.

In the fading light of the day, his eyes bore into yours with an intensity that made your heart race. The anticipation hung heavy in the air as you leaned closer to each other, your breath hitched as his warm breath mingled with yours.

His lips were soft against yours, and as they moved with a tenderness that mirrored the way he held you, it was as if he was trying to convey everything he had ever wanted to say to you in that one, passionate moment.

The kiss deepened, and you could feel the intensity of his emotions pouring into it. It was a kiss that spoke of all the words left unsaid, of all the nights spent missing each other, and of all the dreams of a future together.

Feeling the tears streaming down your cheeks, Sae pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes. And in that moment, he knew that he was exactly where he was meant to be – here.

To you, in his hometown.

💭 thank you for the request saetorinrin! (i owe you a lot for your patience i guess..)

note. hi. if you’ve been here before, you might know that i hate this trope with a burning passion, i just can’t write it for the life of me. i started this in may (and only had the guts to finish it this month lmao), i was so tempted to delete everything and start from scratch (for the nth time) but i think i owe it to myself to retain most of what i wrote when i was stranded on an island xd this isn’t my best, that, i know for sure. but i hope you’ll still like it !

💌 if you reached this part, and you want to know about reader’s letter that sae’s was referencing, here it is. you may or may not read this, it won’t really matter. but if you want to, click until the end :>

💭 back to: milestone event

#☁️ my ode to you #first milestone event!#writing: 003 #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae #itoshi sae x y/n #blue lock x reader #blue lock imagines #itoshi sae fluff #bllk x reader #bllk imagines #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi #itoshi sae angst #blue lock angst

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yoonbroom · 8 months

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BTS FIC RECS

a list of BTS fics I really enjoyed! pls go and show these amazing authors some love <3 if there wasn't a summary I just included a little blurb from the fics! and anything with * are my own thoughts. now onto the recs ↓

KIM SEOKJIN

TURN BACK TIME - @raplinesmoon

oneshot, fluff, angst, smut

After total humiliation at his middle school baseball try outs, Kim Seokjin wants nothing more than for his awkward years to fade away until he’s thirty. Cue a magic baseball glove, and his wish is finally granted. Seokjin suddenly wakes up seventeen years later, now the star pitcher of the team he’d always dreamed of playing for. Confused and overwhelmed at the prospect of the new life waiting for him, he turns to the only person who seems to understand him — you. Will Seokjin learn what it truly means to be thirty, flirty, and thriving? Or will he find himself wishing he could turn back time?

WITH YOU - @yoonpobs

oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, ceo, marriage, divorce, parent

marrying your childhood best friend was not the love story that most painted it to be. you knew that better than anyone else.

UNTITLED - @eoieopda

drabble, fluff, est relationship, parent

"I loved the dad joon and dad yoongs drabble 🥹 it's freaking cuteeee omg jade 😭😭 *whisper* can you do dad-to-be or dad seokjin too please...? I'm on a seokjin missing hour 🥹 thank you ❤️❤️"

LONG TERM COUPLE - @taetaespeaches

series, fluff, angst, idol au, strangers to lovers

long term couple masterlist *the whole long term couple series is honestly one of my faves😭*

MIN YOONGI

LONG TERM COUPLE - @/taetaespeaches

series, fluff, angst, smut, idol au, strangers to lovers

long term couple masterlist

NO MORE - @gyukult

series (two-shot), angst, smut, fluff, unrequited love, college, secret relationship

yoongi doesn’t like your consistent pining, and one day, after finally coming to terms that he will never reciprocate any feelings back, you give up. yet, for some reason, yoongi is the one who can’t come to terms with the consequences of when he says ‘no more.’

VOWS AKA 10 WAYS TO WIN YOUR HUSBAND'S HEART - @hamsterclaw

series, fluff, angst, smut, arranged marriage, est relationship

You’ve been in your arranged marriage with Yoongi for five years, and he’s never once retaliated for anything you’ve done to him. One day you realise you’ve lost your appetite for provoking him, and you set about trying to win his heart instead.

CARE FOR YOU - @archivedkookie

oneshot, fluff, est relationship, marriage, doctor au

Yoongi will always care for you, no matter what.

BABY, YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR PT.2- @jungshookz

oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, mechanic au

welcome to min mechanics - what can i do for you today, doll?

THE TROPHY WIFE - @taeyohonic

oneshot, fluff, angst, est relationship, idol au

the proposal doesn’t go as planned

BACK-BURNER - @/yoonpobs

series, angst, fluff, smut, sisters best friend, friends to lovers

sometimes you felt like you were the back-burner of a two-decade-long friendship. how could you ever compete?

VEGAS BABY - @chimivx

series, fluff, angst, smut, idol au, parent au

A peek into the life of an Idol and his soulmate tackling the obstacles that come with having a surprise in the whirlwind of a world they live in. { This link takes you to the full collection of works. }

JUNG HOSEOK

LONG TERM COUPLE - @/taetaespeaches

series, fluff, angst, smut, strangers to lovers, idol au

long term couple masterlist

ONE NIGHT LIGHT - @bts-reveries

series, fluff, angst, smau, parent

Hoseok has been living his very own version of a perfect life. Unlike some of his best friends, this doesn’t include a happy marriage, adorable kids, or even a stable relationship. All he would ever need was music, dancing, and of course, the parties. Now what happens when he gets a wake up call from reality when the door rings approximately six years after his last one night stand?

AT THE CONCERT - @katnisspeetaprim

oneshot, fluff, est relationship, idol au

Hoseok was quite insistent that you come to this show in particular...

KIM NAMJOON

LONG TERM COUPLE - @/taetaespeaches

series, fluff, angst, smut, strangers to lovers, idol au

long term couple masterlist

UNTITLED - @/eoieopda

drabble, fluff, est relationship, parent au

dad!joon

ALONE ON YOUR BIRTHDAY - @monimonimoon

drabble, angst, est relationship

Namjoon promised he would be there on your birthday, he wouldn't be working, he certainly wouldn't work late. Sometimes, increasingly frequently, he broke his promises.

ME AND YOUR MAMA - @joonberriess

oneshot, smut, fluff, est relationship

you like to remember both what life before the little one was and after with your loving boyfriend namjoon.

PARK JIMIN

ROCK BOTTOM - @jkbabiey

oneshot, angst, fluff, smut, marriage, idol au

When, in a four-year marriage, you get to the point where you question its worth, you know that’s your rock bottom. How many I’m sorry’s will you handle? How many times are too many times?

MASK ON - @herherteartear

series, fluff, angst, smau, single dad au

blind dates are never the move.. unless your best friend is vouching for the person you're going on a date with. it couldn't be that bad, right? wrong. now you're in love with a man who has a big secret. a big secret with chubby cheeks and pig tails.

LONG TERM COUPLE - @/taetaespeaches

series, fluff, angst, smut, friends to lovers, idol au

long term couple masterlist

KIM TAEHYUNG

MINI ME - @bts-reveries

series, fluff, angst, smau, strangers to lovers, parent au, artist au

Unlike his best friends, Taehyung was young, wild, and free. No relationship, no babies, no responsibilities. Well he had his puppy, but that was it. Taehyung watched his nieces and nephews grow up and it was no secret that he too wanted to have one of his own someday. So what will happen when he finally finds someone that matches his personality (and himself) well?

WELCOME TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL - @tteokggukk

oneshot, fluff, idol au, strangers to lovers

"He’s been watching your videos for quite some time now, ever since your channel started rising. Art was one of his major interests and he absolutely adored the way you made your videos with the calming, ASMR-like sound of mixing paint and how you skillfully glided the brush across the canvas. On days when he found himself tired and in need of a quick way to relax, he’d subconsciously find himself binge watching videos on your channel— even repeating several videos since you were only starting. He found it fascinating, but also because he found you interesting."

ONE OF THE BOYS - @littlemisskookie

oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, childhood friends, best friends to lovers, high school

All your life you wanted only one thing- for Kim Taehyung to like you. You did everything you could to make this happen, from picking up his hobbies and rejecting anything feminine. But who do you start to become when you stop trying to impress him?

LONG TERM COUPLE - @/taetaespeaches

series, fluff, angst, smut, (best)friends to lovers, idol au

long term couple masterlist

"I WISH ID NEVER MET YOU" " I HATE YOU" - @v-hope

oneshot, angst, idol au

"pls do 12 and 27 with tae (angst)"

JEON JUNGKOOK

UNTITLED - @onlyswan

oneshot, fluff, angst, est relationship, idol au

in which you make jungkook’s world spin and you tend to… make him a little too dizzy.

ME AND MY HUSBAND - @gashinabts

oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, est relationship, parent au

You don’t want to brag but you have the world’s greatest husband. Jungkook packs your lunch everyday, and makes cute shapes with the fruit. There’s even a little note, ‘ Have a good day at work, Baby! <3’. Smiling to yourself you place the note down, and eat your food with content.

17 GOING ON 27 - @hansolmates

oneshot, fluff, angst, photographer au

one second, you’re sobbing at prom because the most popular guy in school dumps you due to your relationship being a little prank to break your heart. the next? you’re a creative editor at Ego, the hottest young adult fashion magazine. as you try to figure out what’s the deal with this sudden time skip into adulthood, you come across relationships and friendships that are made to be cherished and made to be broken.

HOME - @bonny-kookoo

oneshot, fluff, smut, idol au

Singing about love without having experienced it properly before, Jungkook felt a little foolish- as if he didn’t quite have the rights to the words he’d put out there for others to listen to. But Jungkook also loved to learn new things; and loving you was one of them.

LONG TERM COUPLE - @/taetaespeaches

series, fluff, angst, smut, strangers to lovers, idol au

long term couple masterlist

want recs for other groups? check out my navigation → here!

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xvysarene · 14 days

Text

𝕌𝕟𝕤𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝔹𝕠𝕟𝕕

Pairing: Zayne x Fem!Reader Prompt: “I’ve built walls, and yet they crumble when I see you.” Words: ~2.5k Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff Notice: Y/N is not MC, Antagonist MC, Mentions of wounds

His childhood friend exuded energy just as vibrant as her Anhausen class Evol, captivating those around her with her bubbly demeanor.

However, beneath the cheerful façade lay a calculated use of charm, a trait you couldn't help but notice, especially in her interactions with Zayne.

As a senior hunter, your responsibilities included supervising new recruits, and you discerned her manipulative tendencies over time.

"Just because you've seen me at my weakest, you’re not entitled to pass judgment on those dear to me. It proves how I've known her longer and better, as she would never stoop so low as to speak ill of you. I don’t need you babysitting me."

Quick to defend his adored friend and seemingly caught up in emotion, he voiced those unfavorable words your way.

You knew Zayne was a direct person, but being on the receiving end of those words hurt. Especially as you later realized that you harbored feelings towards the cold doctor, feelings that had unknowingly woven into what you had always believed to be a purely platonic friendship between the two of you.

“—and you’re here because?”

His voice jolted you out of your reverie.

Somehow, standing in the exact spot where your last conversation occurred, resulting in months of silence between the two of you, had clouded your thoughts.

You cleared your throat, trying to focus back on the present moment. “Greyson and Yvonne have been trying to get in touch with you.”

When news about Dr. Zayne taking recuperative leave had spread like wildfire throughout the UNICORNS, you had considered reaching out to him.

Your fingers had hovered over the phone, composing and deleting messages repeatedly.

In the end, you completely abandoned the notion altogether when you heard his childhood friend’s not-so-subtly mentioning her plan to visit and cook for him while chatting with the short-haired girl from the Data Analysis sector.

“I’m fine,” he managed to huff out after a while.

Taking a swift glance at the unexpected mess on his kitchen counters—scattered papers and remnants of food packaging—you challenged him. "I thought we had moved beyond the superficial 'I'm fine' responses when asking about each other's well-being."

Zayne didn’t reply and you noted that he had absentmindedly leaned his long legs against the kitchen counter as if seeking support from it.

“You, the Chief Cardiac Surgeon of Akso Hospital, someone who enjoys his lack of free time, couldn't possibly have felt 'just fine' after being placed on recuperative leave."

“I wasn't aware that you still kept tabs on my whatabouts," he retorted, eyes slightly gleaming competitively. However, they lacked the usual spark; instead, they hinted at tiredness and something indefinable that looked familiar but you couldn't quite pinpoint.

“I understand that your friend has probably visited you, but my great buddies insisted I come and check on you. They didn’t want to pester, but after two days of no answer, they are beginning to worry.” You raised your hands in a gesture of surrender. “Though if I’m not welcome, I’ll leave you be.”

As you moved past him towards the front door, you felt yourself emotionally drained from the brief exchange.

“Why you, specifically?” his whisper caused you to stop in your tracks.

“They know we are—” you stopped yourself, “used to be each other’s confidant. They thought you might be willing to speak to me if not to them.”

He chuckled dryly. “Used to…”

His muttered words compelled you to turn. Your hunter’s awareness noticed how he had subtly shifted, leaning more against the counter with one hand supporting his weight while his body slightly hunched forward, facing your retreating figure.

His body trembled with involuntary shivers, and the silver-framed glasses that had been perched on his nose earlier now lay discarded on top of the black granite.

“What’s wrong?” The words spilled out of your mouth before you could stop them.

Your eyes instantly snapped to his arms, expecting to see the familiar bluish hue and the delicate, yet deadly patterns of ice crystals.

Instead, you saw fresh cuts on the back of his hand. Both of them.

A sound must have escaped your lips because Zayne quickly tugged at his light gray pajama sleeves, trying to cover his hands. He took a step back as he heard you stomping towards him.

Helplessly, he played a brief game of tug-of-war with you before yielding to your unexpected strength.

“What the hell,” you breathed out as you took the angry red marks marring his pale skin, making them stand out more. When you rolled up his sleeves further, you discovered fresh lacerations, a chilling reminder of the frost's icy grip.

You cupped his cheeks. It took his gaze a moment to gradually refocus on you, seemingly startled by the sudden skin contact. “Zayne, what happened?”

His lips were sealed shut. He began to resist, however, as you guided him towards his bedroom, but your hunter strength slightly won over his sluggish state.

Zayne watched you intensively check his wounds after you managed to get him to bed. They were more severe than the scratches you saw after you had cradled his frozen arms and succeeded in defrosting them using your Evol. It was when you found him beating himself up in regret for failing to save your partner during surgery.

As you stood up to fetch the medical supplies, his hand swiftly caught your forearm, surprising you with its speed. "You don’t have to take care of me," he insisted.

“Respectfully, Zayne,” you began, knowing he'd grimace at your next choice of words, “Fuck your pride and let me look after you.”

Seeing his familiar disapproving grimace at the brash word, you chuckled quietly to yourself.

Your boldness and recklessness often clashed with his calm and collected nature, one that left people wondering how a friendship could blossom between two such opposites.

As the antiseptic scent filled the air and silence enveloped the room while you tended to his arms, memories flooded back to the griefful night when you had lost your partner.

He had treated your temporarily forgotten battle wounds after the frost had thawed from his arms.

“It’s not your fault,” Zayne had spoken softly as he cleaned your wounds.

Your breath stuttered, surprised by the doctor's attempt to console you. Many people regarded him as highly reserved due to the carefully crafted mask of indifference he wore.

"The other staff told me what happened. You couldn’t have known that he was bitten; a child Chlorostaga leaves a very small puncture, and it would only feel like an ant has bitten you. With adrenaline running high, he wouldn’t have felt a thing."

“He told me that his heart was racing unusually fast during the transport back,” you whispered, feeling the tears clouding your vision. “And I jokingly suggested he needed to do more exercise.

“He laughed at it until—“ you forced down the bile rising in your throat before being able to continue, “until he suddenly collapsed from cardiac arrest. We were only a few minutes out before arriving here to treat our wounds.”

Zayne continued gently dressing your gashes as you recounted the last moment with your partner. “His last memory was of happiness with you, feeling fulfilled knowing he had once again protected Linkon City from Wanderers... With his trusted partner."

The tears you had struggled to contain finally broke through, cascading down your cheeks in torrents. He held you close that day, offering comfort until every tear was dried.

From that moment, a bond seemed to form between both of you, drawing you closer from mere acquaintances to individuals you could trust with your deepest emotions. Only a few had ever witnessed each other's vulnerable state.

In the present, you noticed his breathing had calmed, and the hazel eyes that had been watching you carefully moments earlier had closed as you finished tending the last cut.

Gently smoothing out the crease between his brows, you couldn't help but wonder how troubled he must have been. “I’ve built walls, and yet they crumble when I see you,” you whispered, afraid of him hearing your secret.

You had tried to shield yourself from future heartache after you slammed his front door the day he had spoken harshly. Yet, seeing him so vulnerable, your caring for him only deepened.

Listening to the rhythmic sound of his breathing, an unexpected exhaustion washed over you like a tidal wave.

Sleep claimed you swiftly, and it wasn't until you felt Zayne's gentle touch on your shoulder that you awoke.

“You’re going to strain the muscle in the back of your neck sleeping like that.”

Still groggy from the unplanned nap, you couldn’t protest as Zayne easily deposited you to the space he occupied earlier, as if you weighed nothing.

Your skin flushed hot feeling his fleeting touch behind your knees. Blinking, you met his gaze as he settled back beside your feet on the bed, already looking much better than before.

As the heat from his body permeated the wool blend of his pajama pants, you could feel it warming the tips of your toes. “Are you feeling any better?”

He nodded, casting a glance down at his arms adorned with scattered adhesive strips. Awkwardness filled the air as you both grappled with the ever-present unresolved tension.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled softly. You looked up, startled.

"I'm sorry," he repeated more clearly. His hazel eyes, appearing browner under the dim lighting, seeking yours. "For saying those hurtful words to you, for failing to accompany you on mourning day."

Your eyes widened, surprised that he even remembered about the day that had occurred months earlier.

When he didn’t appear at the cemetery of fallen hunters on mourning day, an annual tradition to honor your late partner whom he couldn't save, you learned just how much he cherished his childhood friend.

While he hadn't explicitly promised to join every year, he had always done so without fail. At that time, you couldn't help but feel disappointed when you discovered he had spent the day with his childhood friend instead.

And perhaps, an ugly thorn of jealousy had begun to bloom inside your heart.

"Greyson gave me an earful after he found out about our... conflict, and then he pieced together why I was absent that day. Why didn’t you remind me?”

You broke away from his gaze, not prepared for the sudden query. “You are under no obligation to accompany me, so there's nothing to apologise for."

"I absolutely have to apologise, for on the day you mourn for your late partner the most, I callously had fun with my friend."

And there it was, his childhood friend once again stealing the spotlight in your conversation. You felt the barriers you erected creeping back into place.

"It's getting dark outside, I should head home," you said, retracting your legs and hurriedly standing up.

However, a warm hand on your wrist carefully pulled you back down, knee bumping with yours.

"I was ensnared by my memory of her innocence from our childhood," he confessed, voice heavy with regret. "She envied the deep connection we share and after overhearing your conversation with Yvonne, purposefully suggested a day trip to our hometown that exact day. She exploited my weakness for her gain, knowing my fond memories of our past together."

Zayne tenderly unraveled each of your tightly clenched fingers, soothing the nail marks that had etched into your palm.

It was one of your bad habits, surfacing whenever anxiety and stress took hold. Ever the observant person that he was, it was something he was well aware of.

Your breath hitched as he wove his fingers with yours, larger palm easily covering your smaller one.

"I'm the one who foolishly let myself be blinded and stooped so low, wrongly accusing you when your intentions were nothing but good-hearted." He swiped a hand over his face in frustration. “People praised me for my good judgement, but I evidently failed to make the most important one."

“And so this happened?” you gestured towards his arms with your other unoccupied hand. “Punishing yourself because you felt guilty for your lapse in judgment?”

She had heard bits and pieces of what happened from Greyson. The Chief Psychologist in the hospital had noticed Zayne’s peculiar behaviour for weeks—moments of zoning out and evident emotional distress.

Not wanting to jeopardise his patient’s health, he agreed to take a leave until he felt mentally prepared to return to his responsibilities, which required a clear mind above all else.

"No, it's me losing myself because I've taken advantage of the only person who understands me; to the extent of hurting that one person who, despite knowing her for a shorter time, has selflessly always been there for me." He placed a kiss on the back of your hand. "And fearing I may have already lost her, as I come to realize the depth of my feelings for her."

You whipped your head to fully face him, face flushed at his confession. His gaze unwavering, trapping you with fierce affection.

“You don’t need to say anything—”

“Zayne—”

“I just want to let you know that I’m sorry for causing you pain—”

“Zayne, I—”

“And I would understand if you don’t want to do anything with me again after everything that’s happened—”

"Zayne!" You moved to cover his mouth and lost your balance in the process, tumbling together onto the bed.

Him beneath you.

As you stumbled, his hand found the curve of your hip, supporting you from falling on top of him. While his other arm remained thrown over him, fingers still intertwined with yours amidst the sudden movement.

You could see him trying to mask his discomfort, no doubt feeling some of the deeper slashes being tugged.

"God, you really need to shut up sometime," you blurted out, catching Zayne off guard with your abrupt remark following his heartfelt revelation.

This close, you could see his pupils dilating at your close proximity, almost consuming the green in his eyes.

With profound confidence and a fuzzy feeling spreading inside your heart, you eased his mind. “I’m not going anywhere.”

The content smile painting his lips tugged at your heart. It was a genuine happiness that chipped away his usual cold demeanor.

He squeezed your hip and slowly urged you to lay on top of him, a silent invitation to be closer. Strong arms circled around as you nestled your head against his throat, enveloping you in his scent—grounding, and slightly musky, like the scent of a forest after rainfall.

“I never want you to lose control of your Evol over me again,” you warned him, eyes closing as you felt his lips pressing on your forehead.

“I can’t promise, but—” he interjected before you could interrupt him. “I’ll work on myself for the better. It’s the least I can do for the one who holds the dearest place in my heart.”

When you opened your eyes again, you could finally pinpoint that familiar glint in his eyes, the one you noticed when you confronted him hours earlier in the living room; it was endearment.

As you lay down on his bed that night, fingers gently combing through his tousled midnight-black hair as he rested against your chest, it dawned on you that the glow of affection had been there all along, subtly shimmering in his eyes throughout the years whenever you were by his side.

#ᝰ.ᐟ 𝐱𝐞𝐩𝐡'𝐬 writing nook #love and deepspace #lads #l&ds #zayne #zayne x reader #zayne x y/n #zayne x you #hurt/comfort #fluff

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kaizokuou-ni-naru · 2 months

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Say things about Kuma

boy, will i say things about kuma.

i was reflecting yesterday on how we don’t see kuma’s eyes, i don’t think, at any point before bonney’s flashback. even in his appearances at thriller bark and sabaody, when he still retained his consciousness, we only see his blank glasses, which creates an impression of him as inhuman, detached, menacing, and emotionless.

kuma is a completely different character, visually speaking, when we can see his eyes.

the depth of kuma’s kindness and selflessness as revealed to us in his flashback is staggering. it contextualizes a lot of the care we see borne for him earlier in the story by characters like ivankov (at marineford) and bonney and sabo (at reverie)- he’s revealed to us, finally, as a deeply gentle and sweet person who was deeply loved by those around him. once we see what he was really like as a person, we understand absolutely why his loved ones care for him so deeply.

we realize, in egghead, that despite him recieving focus at several points before this, our view of him has been limited to what the strawhats, and the rest of the world, saw, and we have been barred up until this point from any real deeper understanding of his identity and personality. we never got to see his eyes. we got no indication of what he might be thinking or feeling. and this is the violence done to him; the eradication of his person.

it’s clear that kuma is defined by selflessness in the same way that luffy is defined by his selfishness. we see that for his entire life, starting from when he volunteered to be the decoy for iva’s god valley escape plan, that he has constantly endangered and sacrificed himself for the sake of others. kuma is a heroic character, one of the most straightforward we’ve seen in one piece. and this is, ultimately, tragic.

kuma is selfless to the point of self-destruction. he is a gentle and kind and heroic person- and he is that way because of an immensely traumatic childhood that led him to view his own life as having no value except to the extent that he can use it to help others. it’s both understandable and commendable, but it’s also very sad. it’s very clear that, because of his strength, he does not see himself as someone who can expect to be, or who deserves to be, saved by others.

kuma, like a true revolutionary, is unwilling to accept that there is anything he cannot change, but he also only knows how to deal with problems by throwing himself into the line of fire; he will always give of himself and never ask anything of anyone else. notably, this exact pattern of behavior, putting one’s own life constantly on the line but being unwilling to draw anyone else into it, is the same thing luffy lectured vivi for back in alabasta, because it’s ultimately not a healthy or realistic course of action, and will inevitably get one killed.

and we see this, because kuma’s ultimate act of selflessness is him quietly consenting to be literally taken apart, the obliteration of his self. could there have been another way to save bonney? a way to circumvent or fight against saturn’s insane demands? maybe. but kuma sees no value in his life except in the giving of it for others, and so he accepts the deal without a fight because he has always been too willing to throw himself away.

#jonny answers #one piece #not japanese #kuma #arc: egghead island #character meta #opmeta #opspoilers #long post

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spncvr · 25 days

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could you write something with spencer and childhood bestfriedn to lovers?? haven't seen you write angst! but ik it'll be good 🤣❤️

glorious | s. reid

summary: leaving spencer isn't easy

pairing: spencer reid x reader

warnings: angst? and, again, english isnt my first languageLMAO its also too late to be writing so i hope this makes sense

a/n: IVE BEEN WAAAIIITTTINGGG FOR ANGST REQS this is so bad thp girl (gender neutral) im sorry i didn't do u justice

masterlist

YOU LOVE THE darkness.

There, you feel as though you hold the entire world in your grasp. The light, however, falters under your grasp, almost as if it’s causing itself pain by being in between your fingers. You can’t help but think that it’s almost like yourself, loud and bold (maybe, you think humorously, that’s why you’re not particularly fond of it). The light is chaotic, boisterous, and overwhelming, and it burns out your mind and soul.

The dark is a contrast to the light in every way. It is solitary, silent, and careful in its movements against your skin. You feel a sense of power amidst it, as though you can control it with the mere flick of your wrist. The darkness brings a sense of contentment to you, as if you belong there, among its shadows and stillness. You revel in the power and peace that the darkness brings you, and for a moment, everything feels just right.

The wind dances around you, a melodic tune that you can never quite decipher. It hums on your cheek and creates an illusion of harmony in the bustling city that you know isn’t really there. It is akin to light, even in the darkness. Everyone is constantly bumping into someone, everyone’s always got somewhere to be. Because the city lives and breathes in constant distress; so much so that nobody seems to notice how the sky shifts from a light blue to a tranquil orange and then to darkness, even if the city never truly gets dark. There are always lights, stars, and the sounds of nightlife and parties that can last until dawn. Despite your disdain for the city and the way it makes you feel, you can’t help but smile as you study it from afar. Perhaps it’s the allure of the city’s chaos that keeps you here, or maybe it’s the thought of what you could make of yourself in the midst of it all—but that didn’t matter, not anymore.

You’ve always promised yourself when you were younger that you’d leave.

One day, you had whispered to yourself in the darkness, when you were six, your favourite stuffed animal tightly tucked between your arms, one day, we’ll go away. You can’t remember whatever caused you to tell yourself this at such a young age. You think it was probably something silly—a classmate’s admonition that some activities were simply reserved for boys. Or maybe it was because your parents had refused to let you get ice cream after you’d finished all of your green vegetables (all that suffering for nothing, really). But the mindset had continued to stick in your mind; an ember of determination that refused to fade away.

One day, you say again, when you’re thirteen because your teacher had failed you in your first ever physics exam, one day this won’t matter. We’ll go. We’ll leave. You say it so firmly and so surely that it scares you sometimes. Because, really, you’ve never been anywhere but here—so you ask yourself: What if it’s just the same? What if it’s just as bad?

One day, you say again, when you’re seventeen because you have been looking at universities far off and away from your city far away from the constant distress it emits. You’d stare at the campus pictures on the website and study the student’s bright wide smiles, and sometimes, you’d picture yourself in those hallways, with a group of new friends—you’d be the smart, and the witty one. You’d laugh a little harder, and smile a little brighter. One day, We’ll be there. Anytime soon.

“What are you smiling about?” his voice pulls you out of your small reverie. He looks good in the darkness. Specifically this kind of darkness, one that isn’t just quite completely dark. You find that kind of darkness here, where you could see the entire city live and breathe, where you could see some underlying beauty within the city.

You offer a meek shrug, eyes never leaving the city, “It just— feels so real now, no?”

He rests his chin on one of his bent knees, sighing. “It’s always been real. You’ve wanted to leave this city forever.”

“Well,” you exhale, “I didn’t expect to leave so soon. I always thought maybe I’d stay in this city a little longer. I don’t know.”

“With me?”

You frown at him slightly at the question. “Yes. Yes, of course.”

“For me?”

The question is cruel. You don’t need him to make you question yourself because you have spent your entire life yearning for nothing more than to go and leave. You hate him for it, kind of. Because really, what did he expect you to do? Stop everything, and stay with him; for him? I’ve got dreams too, damn it, you want to yell at him, scream at him, I’ve spent my entire life hating nothing more than the god-damn fucking city, and you’re here to mess all of it up. “For me?” Yes. Yes FOR you. Everything’s FOR you!

You can’t dispute the truth, though. Yes, you’d stay with him. For him. Whatever.

Yet as you sit with him by your side and gaze out over the city, you suddenly realise —almost as if you had never thought about it before—that leaving this city meant leaving him as well. The very notion of leaving him felt so alien to your mind. Somehow, you had subconsciously imagined that you’d be going away with him —it’s always been one day we’ll leave, we’ll go— besides, you’ve always known Spencer. In a way, he was like… God, you can’t even say it. You just needed to leave. You can’t look at him when you answer a soft: “Yes. Yes, for you.”

i have like a pt. 2 of this but i hate it so heres a cliff hanger LMAOAIOSVUSBD

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incognit0slut · 8 months

Text

Right Kind of Wrong (12)

She never thought she would be involved in a murder investigation and encounter her one-night-stand again, the awkward guy who isn’t exactly that good in bed—Or is he? Offended by the sentiment, Spencer is determined to prove her wrong… But as he gets tangled with the beautiful stranger, he realizes there is more to her than what meets the eye.

Part Summary: Spencer gets closer to the truth while she feels suffocated by the situation. wc: 4.3k

Series Warnings: 18+ explicit content, graphic details of murders, mentions of suicide, mentions of SA

a/n: Let me give you a long part as a token of my apology for being a slow writer. I hope this was worth the wait

Other parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

"WE BELIEVE WE ARE DEALING WITH A MALE OFFENDER IN HIS LATE 20s TO EARLY 30s," Aaron Hotchner announced, his voice loud and jarring. "Based on the crime scenes, the Unsub doesn't have a lot of experience as they were most likely done in a moment of rage."

The team stood in front of the bullpen, facing a room full of officers and agents scattered along the space. Pens clicked and notepads rustled around them as everyone prepared to add insights to their unfolding narrative.

Rossi, who stood by the evidence board, skimmed his eyes across the room. "It suggests someone who is impulsive and might have difficulty controlling urges. This could also be a sign of an underlying mental illness."

"It's likely that there is some kind of history there, either of abuse or trauma in their childhood," JJ added. "It seems that the Unsub may have difficulty connecting with or relating to others and may be socially isolated as a result. He would mostly like to keep to himself."

Spencer took a step forward and carried on with their profile of the unidentified suspect. "The Unsub might also have grown up in a deeply religious environment. Their beliefs may have become twisted and distorted, leading them to believe that they possess a unique calling to carry out their crimes as a way of punishment."

"Based on the victims, the Unsub has targeted specific people whom they believe have harmed one of our witnesses," Morgan added, his voice seeming to turn deeper as he continued, "Y/n L/n."

A jolt of electricity surged through Spencer's consciousness. The human mind really was a powerful thing. Somehow the simple sound of her name projected the memories he had of her and suddenly he was seeing her face, her radiant smile, her beautiful eyes—he was seeing her so clearly as if she were standing right before him.

But then Emily moved past him, jolting him awake from his reverie as she bumped against his shoulder. "The Unsub has a sense of loyalty to her that they are acting out these crimes as a desire for retribution on her behalf. They might believe that they have a connection or some kind of relationship with Ms. L/n."

"We believe the Unsub might know her personally," Hotch addressed, his eyes, sharp and penetrating, scanning around him. "Go through places where the witness is most likely to go. This could be her neighborhood, workplace, daily commute, and so on."

The atmosphere seemed to shift as he finally dismissed the room. Everyone rose from their seats, each one heading to their respective posts and assignments. It didn't take long for the phones to ring in the background, followed by the constant shuffle of feet as the entire space started to come alive.

And as Spencer turned back to his desk, a familiar man pushing the glass doors of the office suddenly caught his attention. His steps faltered while the man looked around the room as recognition hit him. Spencer walked over, addressing him as one of the witnesses. "Mr. Adler?"

The other man blew out a sigh of relief. "Eric, please." He entered the office and gave Spencer a look. "The people downstairs told me I could find you here."

"You were looking for me?" He frowned. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"I hope so," Eric replied. "Has there been any missing person report lately?"

The confusion on his face grew prominent at the question. "Not that I know of. Why? Is someone you know missing?"

"A coworker of mine hasn't shown up to work and I can't contact any of his family members," he explained. "I'm starting to get worried."

"What's his name?"

"Oliver Walsh."

Having an eidetic memory helped him recall the name easily. His mind went through all the information he gathered these past few days and remembered the exact name written on the list of employees. "When did you last see him?"

"Three—no, four days ago. He left work looking very troubled."

Spencer's brow was furrowed, his eyes fixed unwaveringly on Eric's. "Troubled?"

Eric nodded. "He seemed distracted."

"Do you have any idea why he acted the way he did?"

"No," he responded. And then it suddenly happened. His eyes, previously engaged in maintaining eye contact, drifted upward for a fleeting second. It was as though a switch had been flipped in his mind and the gears of his memory whirred to life. "Although he did seem to act different that day... especially towards Y/n."

His stomach churned. A subtle tremor coursed through his limbs, betraying the unease that was slowly but unmistakably creeping into his consciousness. "...Y/n?"

"You remember her, right? She was with me the night it happened."

Remember her? She was the only person he couldn't stop thinking about. Spencer cleared his throat and leaned forward. "I'm aware Ms. L/n was also a witness."

"Well, Oliver has been fixated on her for so long, everyone in the office knows this. Y/n mostly thinks of it as a joke but I don't think Oliver sees it the same way as she does."

"And something happened between them on the day you last saw him?"

"I'm not sure." Eric sighed. "I saw them talking after work hours, and by the looks of it, I think Y/n was pissed at him." He then crossed his arms, his brows in deep concentration as he seemed to be recalling that day. "She looked like she was under a lot of stress, actually."

"Did you hear what they were talking about?"

"No. But after that, Oliver didn't seem like himself anymore. Then he didn't come to work the next day..." Eric trailed off, his eyes casting down before he mumbled, "I still don't know where he is now."

Spencer's mind suddenly became a whirlwind of calculated chaos, connecting the dots with lightning precision. His heart raced in his chest, pounding out a rhythm of urgency that echoed in his ears. There was no room for hesitation, no luxury of second-guessing.

He needed to move fast.

"Emily!" He called out as he saw his friend walking past them, quickly stopping her pace at the mention of her name. "Can you help Mr. Adler file a missing person report?"

"Uh..." she looked between the two men, uncertainty written across her face. There were questions lingering at the tip of her tongue but she stopped herself when she saw the urgent look Spencer was throwing at her. "Of course," she decided to agree, her attention shifting to the other man. "Right this way."

With a swift, purposeful stride, Spencer left them behind, his footsteps echoing the urgency that had taken hold of him. His heart was still racing when he walked down the corridor, quickly making his way to the room down the hall.

The door swung open with a resolute push, and he entered the room, his senses on high alert. "Garcia."

"I wasn't doing anything!" The woman sitting before him shrieked, closing the window tabs on the screen in front of her. Usually, Spencer would tease her on how unprofessional it was to be doing something else that wasn't related to work, but he didn't have the time to engage in playful banter.

Spencer stepped behind her, placing a hand on the back of her chair. "Garcia, I need you to find Oliver Walsh for me."

She wasted no time. Her fingers danced across the keyboard with a rapid, almost feverish intensity. "Oliver... Walsh..." The soft clatter of keys echoed in the room as she navigated through files and databases. "There are too many Oliver Walsh in this country."

"He works at the same company as Y/n."

"Should've mentioned that sooner." Her eyes scanned lines of text, images, and documents in front of her. "Bingo. Oliver Conrad Walsh was born on 18th December 1991 as an only child—wait, look at this. His family was part of The Haven Hill... a sanctuary of unwavering faith and profound tranquility?"

"Is it some kind of a cult?"

"I don't think so." Her eyes landed on an old article buried within the archives and clicked on the link before a picture of a worn-out brochure greeted them. "Prospective members are welcomed into Haven Hill, a secluded and serene enclave where faith and tradition unite. It seems like a very tight-knit community with a very religious belief—oh!"

Her fingers moved as she navigated through digital records. "Reid..."

"What is it?"

The screen suddenly displayed a grim history of illicit activities and misdeeds, a virtual breadcrumb trail leading them closer to the truth.

"Oliver Walsh was far from being a saint albeit growing up in a religious environment. Along with his group of friends, he was constantly rebelling ever since a very young age. He had to do a lot of community service for it too; underage drinking, burglary, public disturbances—oh dear."

"Attempt sexual assault?" Spencer read out loud.

"...a group of underage boys was proved guilty of trying to violate a fourteen-year-old girl on school grounds—"

"Garcia," Spencer stopped her, not wanting to listen to the rest of the story. "Give me his current address."

"Already on it," she responded, her fingers hovering over the keyboard.

Spencer's heart pounded in his chest. He couldn't believe this, the suspect was no longer a shadowy figure; they were becoming real, tangible, and within his grasp. Then his eyes caught the shot of the man on the screen. A jolt of recognition surged through him as he scrutinized the suspect's image on the screen. The face staring back at him carried a haunting familiarity.

Memories raced through his mind like flickering images from the past. He remembered him, he always remembered people's faces, and that man right there was the same man he had seen in Y/n's house that afternoon. There was a huge chance this was all a coincidence.

But there was also a possibility of Oliver Walsh being the Unsub.

He didn't know which one was true, but what he did know was that he needed to find out the truth.

The sudden, shrill ring of his phone shattered the intensity of the moment. It was a jarring intrusion, snapping him back to the present. With a swift, almost automatic motion, Spencer reached for the device and answered the call without looking away from the screen. "Yes?"

"Agent Reid," the person on the other line greeted, their words rushed in a moment of panic. "I can't find her."

Spencer pulled his phone away from his face and glanced at the caller ID. Officer Anderson. A sense of relentless panic coursed through him as the realization hit like a lightning bolt. He felt a knot tighten in his stomach, a visceral reaction to the gravity of the call.

"What do you mean you can't find her?"

"I—" There was a sigh. "I-I was watching inside my car and I somehow ended up sleeping. She's nowhere inside the house now—"

"Did you call her?"

"She left her phone in the kitchen."

At that moment, he was acutely aware of every heartbeat, every pulse of blood coursing through his veins. Panic resounded through his thoughts, casting a dark shadow over him. It was a visceral, gut-wrenching sensation that threatened to paralyze him like the ground had suddenly shifted beneath his feet.

"I apologize, Agent Reid."

But then anger coursed through his body. He was suddenly angry—Angry at the situation, angry at the Unsub, angry at the officer who couldn't seem to do his one simple job. His jaw clenched, his knuckles turned white as he gripped the phone tighter, and his eyes flashed with fury.

"Being sorry isn't going to help you find her," he snapped. He then straightened himself. "I'll be there in ten."

"What happened?" Garcia whispered, noticing the sudden tension in his shoulder.

Spencer shoved back his phone and turned to her. "Garcia, I need you to inform the others, I have to go."

"What?!" She yelped, watching as he turned away from her. "Right now? Where are you going?"

But her question was left unanswered as he bolted out of the door.

There was no other way to explain what being followed by a disguised officer felt like. It was suffocating. Even everything felt suffocating these days, and when she meant everything, Y/n really meant everything.

At first, the idea of protection had offered comfort, but now it was an oppressive weight that bore down on her shoulders. Everywhere she turned, a shadow loomed, an unwelcome reminder of the loss of her freedom. The suffocating sensation was inescapable, restricting her every movement.

The constant surveillance had pushed her to the brink of stress and manifested in the form of tension that coiled within her, ready to snap at the slightest provocation. Her patience wore thin and the weight of anxiety rested heavy on her chest. One moment she was on the verge of tears, the next, she was snapping with sharp words, irritable and sullen.

She really needed a break.

"You should go to the gym," Sandy had suggested the other day. "It might help relieve the stress."

After debating whether it was a good idea to visit the gym when she couldn't even remember the last time she stepped foot on a treadmill, she finally decided to slip out of the house. She walked over to the black car she already grew familiar with and stood by the window—only to find Officer Anderson fast asleep behind the wheels.

A pang of guilt tugged at her, but the allure of temporary freedom was too strong to resist. It was an unexpected opportunity, a rare moment of freedom dangling before her like a tempting prize. Was it wise to leave without informing him? Probably not. But she couldn't imagine herself working out—all awkward, tired, and sweaty—with Officer Anderson watching her from the corner.

So silently, she retraced her steps. Her pulse quickened with a mix of trepidation and exhilaration as she walked away. It would be fine, she had assured herself. She would be back before he realized she was even gone. And with that thought in mind, she quickly made her way to the closest gym around the corner.

The place felt both familiar and foreign as she navigated the equipment, but she finally found her place in an exercise routine. Her muscles protested the unaccustomed effort, but with each movement, she could feel the tension slowly dissipating. It wasn't until she could barely feel her limbs anymore that she stopped and left the place.

Even though her body was aching from pushing her body to its limit, she did feel slightly better. Her steps also did feel lighter when she walked back to her home, and her mind felt calmer, and less chaotic than it did when she left her house. But as she approached her street, a knot of unease tightened in her stomach.

The evening's fading light cast long, ominous shadows that seemed to reach out and embrace her front door, which stood ajar. It was an unexpected sight, one that sent a chill down her spine. Two things flashed into her mind at that very moment. One, she realized Officer Anderson was nowhere in sight. His usual parked car looked very much abandoned with no one inside the vehicle. Two, she could probably die if she entered her house alone in this state.

Maybe she should call the police. Maybe she should call Spencer... Yeah right, she didn't even have his number. Maybe she should just call Agent Jareau. Or Agent Prentiss. Yes, that would be a wiser option than to—shit. She clutched her empty pockets.

She didn't even bring her phone to begin with.

She cursed to herself. This was a bad, bad decision. She was probably going to regret this, but she couldn't just stand there and do nothing. So very cautiously, she approached her house, her senses on high alert.

As she pushed the door open wider, it revealed a slice of the dimly lit interior. She couldn't help but hold her breath as she stepped over the threshold, her footsteps hesitant, almost reverent, on the creaking floorboards.

She stepped deeper into her home and slowly entered the dimly lit kitchen. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw a figure standing shrouded in shadows, a silhouette in the gloom. A gasp of shock emitted through her lips, but as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, recognition washed over her like a tidal wave.

"Officer Anderson!" She yelled, placing a hand over her heart. "You scared me!"

"Ms. L/n," he breathed out, his expression softening when he saw her. "Where have you been?"

Guilt washed over her as she noticed the concern in his eyes but she quickly dismissed it, stepping further into the room, and grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. "I went to the gym."

"Why didn't you tell me? I'm supposed to accompany you—"

"You were asleep, I didn't want to wake you."

"You should've woken me up, Ms. L/n."

"You looked like you could use some sleep," she mentioned before glancing at the clock perched on the wall. "I was only gone for like an hour, it's not a big deal."

Officer Anderson looked like he wanted to argue with her, but stopped himself before letting out a sigh. "Can you please inform me whenever you step out of the house, even when I might be asleep?"

His concerned gaze met hers as he turned to her, a mixture of relief and worry in his eyes. Guilt twisted in her chest as she nodded. "Alright, I will."

"And please bring your phone with you at all times."

Her eyes snapped towards the device sitting on the counter. "I did forget to bring it with me, I'm sorry."

With a nod, the officer excused himself, giving her a moment of privacy to collect her thoughts. She watched him go, his retreating figure a testament to his dedication, despite the surprise of her brief absence.

Feeling overwhelmed by the mix of emotions—being scrutinized by an authority, being a potential target of a serial killer still on the loose—she retreated to her room, seeking solace in the familiar confines of her private space. She quickly peeled off her clothes which clung to her body from all the sweat and stepped into her bathroom.

The sound of running water filled the room as she turned on the shower, its warmth a soothing embrace. Steam enveloped her, and as the water cascaded over her body, the tension that had coiled within her began to unravel. Under the gentle caress of the water, she closed her eyes. Her shoulders trembled with the tension she had carried for so long, the weight of guilt, responsibility, and emotions too complex to unravel.

How had things turned the way it did? A few weeks ago her life seemed normal, yet now she was linked to a crime with her name at the center of it. This felt so unfair. Why her? Why now? Wh—

Bang!

She opened her eyes.

What was it now?

It sounded... it sounded like a thud coming from somewhere in her house.

The sudden interruption jolted her from the sanctuary of the shower. Her heart raced as she hastily wrapped a towel around herself and emerged from the bathroom, water droplets glistening on her skin. The door to her room suddenly wrenched open with force before a figure she last expected walked in.

"What the—Spencer!" She gasped, not believing who she was seeing. "What the hell?!"

His gaze met hers, and she saw something in his expression that sent a shiver down her spine. It was an anger she hadn't seen before, a storm brewing beneath the surface of his usual calm demeanor. His jaw was clenched, and his normally warm eyes were steely and cold.

"Are you crazy?" He suddenly snapped.

"Me?" She wailed, tightening the towel around her body. "Are you crazy? What are you even doing here?"

"What were you thinking going out without notice?" Spencer's tone was incredulous, his anger unabated. "Without informing Officer Anderson?"

So this was why he was here? To confront her reckless action perhaps?

She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "He looked like he needed the sleep after constantly watching me with little to no rest."

Spencer's frustration deepened, his brows furrowing. "He's assigned to you to keep you safe. You can't just disappear like that, it's irresponsible."

"Well excuse me for being considerate," she retorted.

"You were being reckless."

"No," she argued. "I was being thoughtful."

"Why are you not taking this seriously?" His voice grew sharper, a desperate attempt to make her understand as he stalked towards her. "Can't you understand you were putting yourself at risk?"

"I was only gone for an hour."

"Something could've happened!"

"But nothing did!"

She met his frustration with a defiant glare, holding her ground as he approached her, his tall, intimidating frame only stopping when he was directly in front of her. She saw his eyes drift down her body before pinning his gaze on her face again.

"Y/n, I need you to be safe."

"I am safe! I've been safe ever since you guys put someone to watch over me. I've been safe ever since the same person has been following me everywhere I go, which if you haven't caught on my sarcasm, has made me feel more like in prison than actually feeling protected." Her voice was tinged with frustration as she squared her shoulders, refusing to back down. "It's like I'm being controlled."

"It's not about controlling you, it's about ensuring that nothing bad happens to you."

"I was simply gone for an hour, Spencer," she reminded him again. "No need to go all dramatic over it."

Then in the blink of an eye, the heated tension that had filled the room seemed to snap, leaving them both breathless and disarmed. But instead of reacting with anger or shouting, Spencer's frustration found a different outlet.

"Why are you not fucking listening to me?"

And in a sudden and unexpected gesture, he cupped her face in his hands. Their eyes locked for a fleeting moment, filled with a mix of emotions too complex to name. And then, in a burst of raw and unspoken desire, he leaned in and crashed his lips on her.

She was too stunned to speak, too stunned to respond. There was nothing else she could do but to give in his advance, because dear god, it felt too good to have his mouth moving against hers again. Spencer had kissed her many times before, but not like this. Not this rough. She could even feel the frustration seeping from his body as his lips moved against hers with urgency.

He continued to kiss her, biting hard at her bottom lip, teeth gnashing against the soft flesh of it as a rumbling noise vibrated deep in his chest. Each time she gasped in response at his teeth, his tongue forced its way into her mouth and lapped so mercilessly that she was left desperate for air each time he returned to assaulting her with his teeth and lips.

"Is this what it would take for you to listen?" He growled against her mouth. "Is this what you want?"

Speechless, she responded to his ardor with a fervor of her own, her body leaning into his, fingers tracing the contours of his face. She continued to stare up at him, trying to quickly piece together what was going on, though she nevertheless found herself aroused. It was as if their desire, long suppressed by their arguments and differences, had suddenly ignited, leaving them both powerless to resist the pull of passion.

"Answer me," he barked out.

"Yes," she finally breathed out. "Yes."

Releasing her face, his hands rose in between them. Her eyes dropped down, watching as he gripped her towel with so much force before he ripped it off her body in one swift movement, throwing the material onto the floor.

His eyes roamed over her body, tracing every curve and contour with an intensity that sent shivers down her spine. His hands traced over her sides before he gripped onto her hips, tugging her towards him desperately. "I won't be able to restrain myself."

She knew what he meant. She was acutely aware of the tension seeping from his body, all the anger, all the frustration. She understood how hard these past few days had been for him, she could even feel it from the taught in his muscles. He was tensed and from the way he was looking at her with hooded eyes, he needed a release.

And so did she.

The intensity of the moment had ignited a different kind of fire within her, and her previous anger and frustration began to fade away, which was why she found one of her hands caressing his cheek, pulling him closer as he leaned his forehead against hers. "Then don't," she whispered. "Use me."

His eyes snapped to her.

"You can use me, Spencer," she assured him. "Use me in any way you want."

There was a moment of silence as he contemplated her words. "Do you mean that?"

She nodded. She missed this—dear god, she missed him so much. She hadn't realized how much she missed being close to him until she was standing naked underneath his heated gaze.

She pressed her lips against his softly. "I'm all yours."

And then he deepened the kiss and she melted into him, her tongue dancing with his. He slowly loosened his grip on her hips and found its way onto her hand resting against his cheek. He pulled away from her, tugging her hand towards him, his mouth hovering above her wrist.

"In any way I want?" He asked, gently brushing his lips over her pulse.

"Any way you want."

He smiled at her then, the first smile she saw on him ever since he barged into her room unexpectedly. But there was something about his smile that sent her into a frenzy of nerves. It wasn't genuine, it wasn't gentle.

It wasn't until his other hand reached behind him that she finally understood what his smile meant. Because right at that moment, to her surprise, he retrieved a pair of handcuffs from his pocket, and with a soft click he carefully bounded one of her wrists, the steel bracelets feeling cool against her damp skin.

And then his smile morphed into a more dominant edge as he leaned closer, his eyes burning with need.

"Any way I want."

>> NEXT PART

a/n: Did you think I wasn't going to insert another smutty scene in between all the chaos? You thought wrong!

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pseudowho · 4 months

Text

Snowhere to Go

(help me find the Choso artist in the banner, for crediting and thanks/permission!)

When your date plans are ruined by the snow, you and Choso find a stack of old board games, and make your own fun.

Fluff, mildly suggestive, general cute fluffy comfort.

As promised for @gojo-mochi ❤️🫖☕⛄

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Choso stood at the fridge, considering breakfast, one finger lazily scratching his jaw. He was broken out of his reverie by a shriek from you; with a panicked shout, he moved to you immediately. Swooping in behind you, he tucked his arms around your waist, shucking you backwards over his shoulder. You shrieked again, this time at him.

"Choso, what are you doing?!"

"Why are you screaming?" he retaliated, but hopped backwards in disgust as, through the open front door he had rescued you from, snow tumbled round his feet. Gaping at the doorway with a comedically downturned frown, Choso shook ice off his feet; a flat snow drift, imprinted against the absent door, was almost as tall as him.

"We're snowed in!" You yelled, still draped backwards over Choso's shoulder, pointing your toes and arms in delight as Choso snorted, a grumpy huff of air through his nose. His face bored, annoyed, he tickled your hips, delighted by how you squirmed and laughed.

"We had plans," Choso grumped, throwing you deftly onto the sofa to your delighted squeals, "you promised me a date."

You poked your toes into his belly, teasing, laughing again as he gripped your ankle and pinched your toes.

"Stop it! Stop-- STOP!" You begged, kicking, "We can still have fun! I promise! Just...use your imagination. I'm going to go and shower." Choso pouted at you as you escaped his hands, and scooted yourself to the bathroom.

With a sigh, he pulled a t-shirt on over his grey sweat pants, and surveyed the room. Wandering lazily towards an old chest of drawers, he yanked it open, rummaging inside.

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"Hey! What are these?" You leaned out of the bedroom towards Choso's shout, and saw him blowing dust off a stack of old board games from your childhood. A prickle of nostalgic delight ran through you, your hair still damp as you approached Choso with soft joy, brushing your fingertips against the boxes.

"Board games," you breathed, happy memories washing over you. Choso's eyes softened, peering down at your unbridled delight with a gentle smile, "Have you ever played any?" He nodded slowly. Shuffling through the pile, he picked one out, holding it up and shaking it at you with twinkling eyes.

"Date?"

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"Uhm...B...five?"

"Miss." Choso slapped his hands over his face with a groan as you shot him a wicked little grin. He sullenly pushed a little red peg into his board, pouting.

"Do you even HAVE any battleships on there?" He sulked. You waggled your eyebrows at him.

Cautiously as you rummaged in your peg box, Choso began to peer surreptitiously over to your half of the game. You spotted him, gasping dramatically and throwing your hands over your board, but not before he had seen.

"You dirty cheat--"

"You put them all in one corner, you minx--"

Choso flicked the board with a smirk, pegs skittering across the table, and you took off through the apartment, laughing as he chased you.

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"Jail?!" Choso cried, holding his tiny metal dog to his chest, appalled and stroking its ears in dismay. You shrugged, counting out your wodge of pink banknotes.

"Can't pay your rent. Gotta go to jail. Them's the rules."

"Says who?" He challenged, fist slammed to the table in passionate opposition.

"Says Capitalism," you offered wanly. Choso huffed again, reluctantly moving his metal dog around the board into the Jail. Choso's hand reached into the game box absentmindedly. He recoiled as you slapped the back of it.

"Hey! Do not pass Go, do not take two-hundred pounds."

Choso stared at you with barely restrained fury. A heartbeat passed between you. He flipped the board, your multiple hotels scattering across the table. Choso stood, a dark aura surrounding him as he pointed one thick finger down at you.

"Fuck Capitalism," he sneered.

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"Right foot green."

"Right foot...green?!" Choso was crablike on the multicoloured mat, looking down below him and surveying his limited options. You stood above him in just your underwear and his oversized t-shirt, legs either side of his hips. The spinner was rested on Choso's tensed abs, where you diligently spun it for him.

"I'm not an octopus," he grumbled, but started to slide his foot towards himself, thighs tense with the uncomfortable stretch. His movement knocked your left leg from under you and you cried out, landing squarely on his groin with a blush.

Choso coughed, red-cheeked and furious, "That's cheating--"

"Hey, this was your faul--"

"Can't believe you'd try to seduce me just to win--"

"Try?" You teased, wiggling against him. He groaned, dropping weakly to the floor, holding your hips on his.

"Fine. You win this time," he scowled, stabbing a finger at you as you giggled. His hand wandered down to finger the soft skin of your belly, before slowly meandering up your abdomen. You bit your lip with a shiver.

Choso snapped, standing and hoisting you over his shoulder again, and you squealed and kicked your legs as he carried you decisively towards your bedroom.

"Date's over," he announced abruptly, "time for bed."

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Ugh. I feel so cute. I love it.

#jjk #kamo choso #jjk choso #choso kamo #choso x reader #jjk fluff #jjk fanfic #choso x you #choso #choso fluff

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flowerandblood · 23 days

Text

The Fall from the Heavens (20)

[ dark • Aemond x Strong • niece female ]

[ warnings: angst, violence, swearing, remorse ]

[ description: A cool distance turns into friendship and more when two children see that they can find refuge and understanding in each other. However, naïve dreams collide with the reality in which every event has consequences and what once could have been love becomes a dark, newly painful obsession. Angst, sexual tension, obsession, violence, madness, very dark Aemond. ]

The story in this series is an alternate reality from the oneshot Stay and love, leave and die, in which Aemond reads the letters his niece has sent to him over the years. They are the same characters and it shows what would have happened between them − I have changed the background story from their childhood slightly for the sake of the plot.

Characters & Series Moodboard

Lady Strong Moodboard

Aemond & Lady Strong Moodboard

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

He had no idea how this insolent whore had come up with this insane plan, what had come into her empty little head to accuse him of taking her maidenhood in front of everyone. Her words spoken with such certainty and coolness shocked him, his mouth gaped wide in disbelief, for a moment his body froze.

What?

"Lie." He growled angrily, unable to get anything else out, outraged and infuriated by the loud chatter of the entire court around him.

If she really thought she'd succeeded, that he'd take her as his wife just because she'd come up with such a filthy lie, she was sorely mistaken.

Even if it had happened, even if he had been forced to take a second wife, he would have strangled her with his own hands during their wedding night without considering what would happen afterwards.

It seemed that he had perfectly guessed her awful character at their first meeting and had indeed chosen the most unpleasant of sisters, for at his words her lips curved in a grimace full of mockery. The King asked her a question, from which she pressed her lips into a thin line.

"I ran after the Prince once he wanted to leave. He took me in one of the corridors of our fortress against my will."

Fucking whore.

I'll kill her, he thought.

I'll approach her and strangle her with my own hands.

"Disgusting lies. I followed my nephew out the stronghold and returned to the Red Keep to fulfil my duty to my father that same night. It was not your maidenhood I took then, shameless woman." He sneered with mockery in his voice, from which Lord Baratheon's daughter's face curved in disbelief and humiliation.

He thought with satisfaction that she was now surely imagining how he had taken the woman who stood by his side just after he had promised her he would marry her.

He swallowed loudly, thinking with a hard pounding heart that his wife didn't believe this absurdity, didn't doubt for a moment that what this wicked woman was saying was a lie.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, horrified, and noticed that she was pale, her chin lifted proudly, her gaze fixed on Maris.

He shuddered as his brother's voice snapped him out of his reverie.

"As I see it, opinions are divided on what happened. Lord Baratheon is a party. Is there anyone else who could confirm your version of events, my Lady?" He asked lightly, as if the whole situation amused him, Maris pressed her lips together, lowering her gaze.

Her whole family knew that what she was saying was a great, disgusting lie.

His brother turned to him after a moment.

"And you, brother, can anyone confirm your words?"

He swallowed hard, furious that he had to remind himself of the person he despised so much, however, he had no other choice if he wanted to protect his and his wife's honour.

"My nephew."

Fortunately, his would-be wife quickly realised her mistake made in an act of desperation to drag him down with her and gave in, eventually signing the terms of the agreement between their family and the crown together with her father.

He wanted to demand that, in front of everyone gathered, she retract her lies and clear his good name, but hesitated when he noticed out of the corner of his eye that his wife had simply left.

She didn't believe him, he thought with disbelief and pain.

She didn't believe him, even though he had always been faithful to her.

He swallowed loudly, wanting to follow her, but stopped in his half-step noticing something glistening on the stone floor in the colour of scarlet.

Blood.

He cursed quietly under his breath, wiping the mark off with his boot, looking around, wanting to make sure the guards hadn't spotted it.

The last thing they needed now was rumours that she wasn't carrying his heir.

He moved behind her with a squeeze in his throat, seeing that she had left red droplets behind her, which disappeared, however, upon his steps towards her chamber. He stepped inside unannounced and she shuddered, looking at him apprehensively, apparently trying to untie her gown herself, wrestling with her sleeves.

"I wish to be alone." She muttered in a trembling voice, her cheeks red from the tears that had surely been running down her face just a moment ago, but which she was now holding back with the remnants of her strong will.

He answered her only when the door closed behind him with the quiet clatter of old wood.

"I have wiped the traces you left behind. No one but me knows."

He saw something akin to pain and despair flash across her face, her eyebrows arched in grief, her eyes glazed over again from tears, her swollen, lower lip trembling, her mouth tightened into a thin line. She finally clamped her eyelids shut and wept quietly, bending her head, her hands clenched on her lower abdomen.

He approached her, grabbing her hair with a soft gesture and snuggled her face into his chest – she burst out into a loud sob as his arms closed her in a tight embrace, as his nose sank into the top of her head, inhaling her addictive scent.

Vanilla.

"I knew it was going to happen. I could feel it in my bones, but I still had hope." She mumbled in a breaking, trembling voice, from which he felt a sting in his heart. He sighed quietly, brushing her hair with the slow, tender strokes of his hand as if she were a small child.

"I know."

They were both sad and disappointed, however he knew he shouldn't burden her with these thoughts when she felt so guilty herself.

He blinked, snapped out of his reverie, looking down at her when he heard her hiss and flinch, her hand tightening on her womb again, her eyelids clenched as if trying to wait out what she was feeling.

"Are you in pain?" He asked, taking the unruly curls of her hair from her face – she was only able to nod, swallowing hard.

"The first day is the greatest suffering."

As a man, he had never delved into motherhood or what was involved in female fertility, knowing the basics of course; he was aware of what he had to do for a woman to carry his heir and that if she bled, it was necessary to try again.

He knew his mother and sister went through the first days of this unpleasant process in their chambers, not attending supper at the time.

He thought then that this was due to the fact that it was an embarrassing matter for them and they preferred to remain in peace and solitude at the time, something he had always regarded with respect.

However, now that he was a husband and had watched his wife's suffering after he had helped her change into a new, clean nightgown, he involuntarily wanted to better understand what she was going through.

To know how he should behave and what she needed.

He watched without a word as she tucked the linen cloth under her buttocks and between her thighs, which she then covered with the material of her white chemise, evidently wanting it to absorb the blood that flowed from her and not stain the bedding.

He also noticed that she still held her hand pressed to her womb, her eyelids clenched in discomfort, a murmur of displeasure leaving her lips once in a while. He sat down beside her on the bed, watching her closely, resting his hand on hers in a place that was clearly causing her discomfort.

"Tell your husband what is causing your suffering." He hummed softly, stroking the soft skin of her palm with his thumb. He heard her sigh quietly, looking up at him finally, apparently wondering how she should explain this to a man.

"I feel a painful stinging in my lower abdomen. Imagine someone gently jabbing a needle or the tip of a dagger into your stomach and not pulling it out. That's what I feel." She mumbled at last, and he furrowed his brow as he looked at her lower abdomen, imagining how unpleasant it must have felt.

"Is it like this every time?"

"Yes. Although sometimes it's a bit worse or a bit better. This time it's unbearable." She muttered, looking away, staring at the canopy over her bed. He hummed at her words, unconsoled by her undeserved suffering.

"Would anything bring you relief?" He asked at last, hearing her let the air out of her lungs.

"The Maester in Dragonstone always brought me a leather sack filled with hot water. He would put a cloth on my lower abdomen so that I wouldn't get burned, put a knotted pouch over it and put it on my womb, covering me with furs afterwards. Then for some reason I always felt relieved and the pain became bearable." She said finally; he got up and walked to the door, opening it wide, ordering their servants to do exactly as she said.

Following his command, one of the servants finally stepped into her chamber with a sack filled with hot water, asking if his lady-wife had fainted and needed anything.

He took the pouch from her and dismissed her, then approached her, sitting down beside her on the bed and, in accordance with her words, after placing the cloth on her womb, he placed the sack on top of it, covering it with furs, a loud sigh of relief escaping her lips. She closed her eyes and grabbed his hand, squeezing it.

"− good gods − thank you −" She mumbled.

"− doesn't that burn you? −" He asked uncertainly, but she just shook her head.

"− no − no, that's how it should be −"

Silence fell between them, and he watched her face as she lay with her eyes closed, clearly trying to relax.

"− what she said − it was a lie, wasn't it? −" She asked quietly, and he sighed heavily, leaning down, burying his face in his hand, tired and discouraged.

So she had doubts about his faithfulness after all.

"− obviously − I chose her because she seemed to me the most unpleasant and repulsive of them all − I didn't want to waste the life of any decent woman knowing what would await her −" He replied finally, hearing his niece twist next to him in her place.

"− and what would await her? −" She asked uncertainly; he let the air quietly out of his lungs, massaging his temple.

"− I don't know what you would call living in the shadow of another woman −" He replied after a moment's thought, hearing his wife swallow hard.

"− for your marriage to be valid, you would have to lie in bed with her −" She muttered quietly in a trembling voice. He felt a squeeze in his throat at her words, at the idea of what it would have to look like, what he would have to do.

How dirty he would feel afterwards.

"− yes −"

He heard her draw in a loud breath – clearly the mere image of him in another woman's arms caused her pain, and while her jealousy brought him some kind of satisfaction, it was also the cause of the discomfort that filled his lower abdomen.

The thought that he might derive pleasure from it, desire another woman while she awaited him in another chamber.

"− would you do it? − would you take her? −" She mumbled, he heard her voice break in fear of his response.

"− and you? − would you lie with your cousin if your mother told you to? − surely she would have led to these nuptials if you had returned to Dragonstone with her then, would she not? −" He growled, frustrated that she was asking him such questions, not knowing what answer she wanted to hear.

He saw a single, solitary tear run down the side of her face onto the pillow beneath her head; he sighed heavily seeing this, wiping the moisture from her skin with the top of his hand.

"− there, there − enough of these tears − didn't my words give you satisfaction? − my public expression that I married you out of lust? −" He asked calmly, not wanting to add either her or himself to their suffering and sorrow. He hummed as her face lit up with a light, warm smile.

"− it was not your maidenhood I took then, shameless woman −" She repeated his words with amusement, trying to mimic his deep, low tone of voice. He snorted, shaking his head, involuntarily grinning with mockery at the mere memory.

"− gods, it was pure madness −"

Although he usually spent this part of the day training, during which he mistreated and lashed out at Criston, he decided to spend the afternoon with her, knowing that she needed him. He lay beside her as she finally fell asleep, looking at her face wondering what the future held for them.

What would happen if her mother did not agree to their terms.

He knew someone would die then, that no matter how much he loved her, he would not agree to Jace being heir to the throne.

He feared that she would hate him again.

This time forever.

He shuddered when a guard walked into their chamber – he wanted to express his displeasure that he had allowed himself to enter without permission, but the man spoke up before him.

"Word has arrived from Dragonstone, Your Grace."

He looked at her peaceful, sleeping face and swallowed hard, standing up quietly and nodding to the man, wanting him to lead him to the King.

When he was led into the chamber of the Small Council his brother sat at the head of the table with a rolled up parchment in his hand, looking at him with raised eyebrows, to his left and right sat their mother and their grandfather.

"What is their answer?" He asked in a low, deep voice feeling his voice quiver involuntarily in terror.

Aegon sighed quietly.

"Rheanyra will not make any decision until she speaks with her daughter. She demands that they meet in the Eyrie, on more neutral ground, with or without our presence. Daemon will accompany her."

He swallowed hard and let the air out of his lungs, feeling both tense and relieved, knowing that nothing was won or lost at the same time.

"What do you command, My King?" He asked finally, his brother hummed under his breath.

"I am no fool and I will not allow you to spend the night under the roof of a family that can cut your throat in your sleep. No, when all shall be confirmed, you will fly together to Harrenhal, where you will be hosted by Lord Strong. From there you will travel on my behalf to negotiate with my sister. I will not leave King's Landing knowing that they may take advantage of this and conquer the Red Keep in my absence."

"Aegon, it's a trap. The Eyrie is her mother's ancestral stronghold, her allies. They will make them their prisoners by force. After what happened today in the throne room, Lord Baratheon will gladly support her. You have weakened us." Their mother protested, clenching her hands into fists, looking at her son-king with pleading eyes. Aegon sighed heavily at her words, spreading himself comfortably in his chair.

"This is my final decision. Convince your wife to soften her mother. Daemon will pull for the war, but it is not his opinion that matters. She may already be carrying your heir in her womb, order the maesters to examine her." He said encouragingly, and his lips tightened at his words.

"No. That will not be necessary."

An uncomfortable silence fell between them, caused by the tone of his voice and the impassive expression on his face.

His mother hid her face in her hands, shaking her head, knowing what his words meant, his older brother closed his eyes and swallowed loudly, looking at him again after a moment.

"Good gods, lie to them. Say that she is expecting your child. That the gods support our cause. After all, women do miscarry, don't they, mother?" He asked her lightly. The Queen looked at him in pain and disbelief, lowering her gaze in grief and shame, surely seeing the face of her childhood friend in her mind.

"You are leading us to our ruin out of sheer malice and stupidity." Hummed their grandfather in a hoarse voice, looking at the gold coin he was playing with between his fingers. "You will repeat my words one day."

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