#cishet discourse

[riseandshineace]

#ace discourse #lgbt discourse #trans discourse #cishet discourse #asexual discourse

[thatone-churro]

hang on. there’s no way we’re revitalizing “are [cishet] aro people queer” discourse. it is almost 20-fucking-24. no. say sike right now. you’re all fucking ridiculous. how are we not only not over this, but bringing it up for active discourse again. and acting like the things being said are common discussion and not. blatant aphobia. which is homophobia. it’s queerphobia. did we never fucking learn from the many “they want us to fight amongst ourselves because if we’re divided it’s easier to ruin us” type talks that everyone was making a while ago. or was that a phase too. what happened to “anything not heteronormative is what queer is. anything with romance/sex/gender that’s othered from what society deems the “norm” is what we are. we are a community of outcasts because the greater community doesn’t want us either way.” what the shit.

#cishet in brackets because that was the prompting poll question #but i know the internet well enough. i know ‘discussions’ are probably getting ‘broader’ on this as we speak #and yes before someone gets on me for my probably inaccurate quotes #i’m not saying this was done by ‘the big man’ to split us up but. #discourse within the queer community ABOUT just who can be in the queer community has always weakened us #and has ALWAYS completely missed why/how we’re a community as a whole. #grace being kinda serious for once #text post #lgbtq #aromantic #aromantism #aphobia #lgbtq community #arospec

[parkeryangs]

i love being aro btw i love being loveless i love being aroallo i love being an aro man :]

#aro men discourse is WEIRD #im not cis but even if said aro man is cishet. WHO CARES theyre still aro. theyre still lgbt #aro #aromantic #aromantism

[silly-media-enjoyer]

reminder that being queer is not a medical condition and you don't have to fit in a specific set of symptoms to use certain labels. just call yourself whatever you'd like even if you don't fit in the commonly accepted definition.

#as long as your intentions are good then i dont care what you call yourself #queer #mspec gay #mspec lesbian #bi lesbian #pan lesbian #lesboy #queer discourse #cw queer discourse #yes this includes “cishet” men

[gnometa233]

"we need more weird queers" Y'ALL CANT EVEN HANDLE LESBIANS SAYING THEY EXCLUDE MEN.

#y'all are some pussy ass bitches #bringing back a label that terfs made to exclude lesbians who dated trans women #also considering how many nonbinary lesbians and trans women actively dislike the label...idk man it's all not mathing #where's that fucking 0t3 post #'in a world where lesbophobia and misogyny still exist we need to have a sexuality label that inherently excludes men' #not to mention #y'all are the fucking bootlickers who want cishets involved in everything #how are WE the bootlickers for having boundaries around our sexuality #some of y'all need to jump off a cliff mega crazy style #anti bi lesbian #lgbt+ #lgbtq+ #queer discourse

[aromantic-allosexual]

did you guys know that you can actually support aroallo people WITHOUT talking about asexuality and asexuals. did you guys know that you can actually do that. you can actually stand in solidarity with us without saying "and also asexuals"

#sorry if this sounds mean or rude or whatever but like #with all the recent aroallo discourse #its kind of annoying to still have people bring up asexuality as if its the same thing #this conversation we're having is about cishet aroallo men. they need our support. #we owe them a community that uplifts them instead of speaking over them. #this conversation is not about asexuals. pipe down for a second. let us speak for ourselves for once. #aroallo #aromantic

[caesthoffe]

people have said "the girls and gays" so much that a lot of cishet women are under the impression that gay bars are spaces that should prioritize their comfort as well, even if they're not queer

#if you're a cishet/non-queer woman who feels safe in gay bars thats great #but you are ultimately still a guest there just as a cishet man is a guest there #and you should be mindful of the spaces you inhabit #im not saying “never go to a gay bar ever again” im just saying to think critically #discourse #queer #queer discourse #lgbt discourse #caesthoffe.txt

[aropride]

"no guys i swear the cishet intruders are real this time, they're really invading our community, theyre taking our resources for real this time, trust me, they love getting called slurs and being discriminated against, this is a real thing thats really happening and affects me in real life, my exclusionism is good this time i SWEAR"

#text #discourse #like what fucking world r u living in 😭 'i dont mean trans people' what Do you mean then. #like give me 5 examples of this happening in real life and causing harm to literally anyone #i prommy cishet invaders arent identifying with slurs and intentionally putting a target on their backs like that #especially in this political climate #you are just being.. either biphobic or nbphobic or both most likely. probably some secret 3rd 4th 5th 6th 7th 8th 9th etc things too

[chilewithcarnage]

#honestly #like imo the most egregious sample is how atla fandom has become overun by cishet 'bootok girl' zutaras #atla getting put on netflix in 2021 at the height of lockdown was like the perfect storm #if its not the zutaras its the misogynistic dude bro avatar fans obsessed with powerscaling that hate korra's guts #i like she said theyre rehashing discourse talking points that have been settled in like 2018/19 #it's a whole mess #tiktok

[textk4kira]

I've noticed several queer folks describe their 'concerns' over certain demographics 'infiltrating' the queer community and taking up queer resources.

Most of the individuals I see making this claim are usually unable/unwilling to share 'resources' with their fellow queers, such as queer literature, history of the queer community (esp. non-US centric information), info on accessing HRT and other gender affirming care, or where to find homeless shelters for LGBTQIA+ youth (40% of homeless youth are LGBTQIA+), etc.

Usually, these biases are directed toward groups such as:

Asexuals (esp. cisheteromantic aces)

Aromantics (esp. cisheterosexual aros)

Bisexuals in 'straight-passing relationships'

Trans-hets

Literally, anyone who isn't a cis, white gay man or lesbian.

Note: This isn't an exhaustive list, they are just my observations.

My question for my fellow queers is:

What constitutes a queer resource, and how do the aforementioned groups STEAL resources from the rest of the lgbtqia+ community?

#lgbt discourse #lgbtq resources #queer community #queer resources #lgbtq #queer #lgbtqia #trans #nonbinary #asexual #cishet aro #cishet ace #aroallo #alloace #gay #lesbian #bisexual #pansexual #queer solidarity

[snowberry-pie]

game time. if your ocs were popular fictional characters how exactly would fandom violently butcher and misinterpret their characters

#kikay speaks #forgot to play my own game. #sifri — #people would somehow manage to turn her into a hypercompetent girlboss dom TM #cishet men would hate her i feel like she’d get the mary sue treatment #oh and the fact that she’s a brown woman would Not Help #lettie — #also girlbossified to shit or innocent cute smol bean uwu #there’d probably be weird discourse where ‘she’s too cute to be horny’ is the main point of contention #the fact that she’s ALSO a brown woman would not help #mith — #himbo-ified :( or like the Aggressive Loud Guy or pathetic a heem heem whimper guy #probs be oversexualized to shit #also definitely a prime target for top/bottom discourse

[springonmytraptillicomeback]

just saw a poll debating whether or not cishet aro men are lgbt… yall… yall… cis, heterosexual, AROMANTIC, men… I can’t with this shit

#do you guys need to #study what fucking #LGBTQIA #IS???? #lgbtqiA #A #A FOR AROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL #aroace #aromantic #lgbtq discourse #fuckin hate it #btw if it wasn’t clear #yes #cishet aro men are lgbt

[pigeonapologist]

we've gotta stop pitting twinks and bears against each other we're all undesirable faggots in the eyes of homophobes

#fatphobia is a serious problem in queer spaces #and the answer to solving that issue is NOT ostracizing twinks and femme men #y'all really think cishets are nice to twinks who don't conform to heteronormative masculine roles? #discourse #lgbt discourse

[creatrixanimi]

One time i somehow got on a redit thread on will wood bc i looked him up or something and Im constantly thinking about one person I saw getting really aggressive about his fans liking him for queer reasons and they said something like "he's a cis het 30 year old man he probably doesnt know what 'so gender' means" and like ok yeah being parasocial is not good but saying that he doesnt know what "so gender" means is laughably wrong. The guy has a song about gender identity and also at one point dressed like this:

Like theres discouraging parasocial weirdness like assigning stranger's sexualities and then theres what is essentially gasligthing people into thinking they just made everything they like up about a musical artist they like. For some reason.

#I know he's kinda wishywashy about what makes him uncomfortable and stuff so people are kinda hyper aware of that #and people sometimes take that and go even further & designate themselves as fancops but gaslighting baby queer fans isnt it #also ive seen the ways the ppl he hangs out with dress this guy probably knows about tumblr furry discourse #anyway i am always thinking about that thread it haunts me #i understand he has some weird fans but also people noticing obvious themes in his music arent like. overstepping. thats normal. #also idk anything about him and his sexuality so he could be cishet but also like. u can be cishet and still be gender nonconforming #also also why is everyone over the age of 30 designated as internet lingo illiterate. did they all get amnesia or something. #me

[wren-kitchens]

reminder that anyone who is aro and/or ace is valid in the lgbtq+ community, and that includes cis heterosexual aromantics and cis heteroromantic asexuals - the whole range of aro/ace spec as well

if youre hetero, cis and aro and/or ace spec, youre a valid part of the community

#its so annoying when ppl say 'oh but they can pass as cishet ugh' okay? so can bi/pan/poly etc ppl? theyre still valid?? #'but theyre still hetero' okay and? theyre still aro/ace and therefore a part of thr community #aromantic #asexual #discourse #<- just in case #lgbtq #aroace

[yeetlegay]

Not for nothing, the representation of Porsche’s bisexuality means a lot to me as a bi person who didn’t figure out my identity until my early 20s. The journey that he goes through in the first half of the show, from a presumed straight man to a bisexual man in love with another man, is written and acted with so much empathy and grace. Porsche’s feelings about his identity and presentation of self are allowed to be confused, hesitant, and complicated without him being homophobic or misogynistic. The result is a more subtle arc of self-discovery, but such an important one. Porsche may not have deep-rooted internal prejudices but he still exists within oppressive structures that shape all our lives whether we want them to or not. Even though he doesn’t deny or dislike his feelings for Kinn, he does quietly struggle sometimes with the discomfort of being queer in a world that sees queer as “other.”

I think part of why this hits so hard is Apo himself. Now I don’t really follow the actors very closely and I try hard to separate the art from the artist, so I don’t want to place too much weight on this. But I do think Apo really brings a particular level of empathy and nuance to Porsche’s identity that deserves appreciation. Apo has spoken a number of times about how much he struggled with homophobic treatment in the Thai film/TV industry through the course of his career. He was often asked invasive questions about his sexuality, made fun of for the way he dresses and presents himself, and demeaned for being feminine or not masculine enough. It seems to have been a key factor in his decision to leave the industry (and even Thailand) entirely.

To be clear, he’s never made any public statement about his sexuality or gender identity, and it’s no one’s business to presume or ask about how he identifies. The problem was that, regardless of how he actually identified, homophobia had a big impact on him personally and professionally. Homophobia (along with all other forms of hate and violence) doesn’t hurt just queer people—it hurts everyone, because it confines and regulates people’s lives/bodies, and punishes deviations, big and small, from the norm.

Apo has some pretty incredible gender vibes to be honest. Something about his mannerisms, his face, his fashion choices, his presentation, just strikes keen envy in my nonbinary bisexual heart lol. And he brings that nuance into Porsche’s character so beautifully. Porsche gets to be tender as he is tough, someone who cares for his loved ones and shows affection without being demeaned for it. He’s allowed to be this strong, tall, muscular guy without it being prescriptive of his internal feelings and personality and how he presents in his voice and mannerisms. No one (least of all him) is policing his body and gender in the way queer people, particularly queer men, so often deal with. He gets to just be.

The freedom in that, for me at least, feels like a revelation. I feel loved when I watch Porsche, because his journey as a bisexual man isn’t rooted in his own repression or external prejudice. Even when he identified as straight, he didn’t behave or present in a way that was engineered to convey heterosexuality or even masculinity. He was already comfortable in his skin, and figuring out his sexuality was more of an internal journey than one centered on his body and how the world perceives it.

Obviously there’s nothing wrong with identity crises/questions/discoveries that do involve repression or homophobia (mine certainly does, thanks Catholic school 🙃). But I think it’s really neat that Porsche’s arc doesn’t, because it brings up questions that often get buried under the avalanche of homophobic/misogynistic/transphobic shit that unfortunately we so often have to wade through to come to our own queer identities. And that’s why I mentioned Apo’s experience, because I really think that as someone who’s had such a hard time in the industry in the past—precisely because he does step outside rigid gender norms—he really gets how homophobia shapes a person’s understanding of their own body. And consciously or unconsciously, he created in Porsche a character who could be free, for fucking once, of that heavy weight around his neck.

So basically, I hope he knows how much that means to a lot of people, not just me. And I hope that playing Porsche has given him some amount of comfort or healing or validation. He gave homophobia and misogyny a massive middle finger through this character, and I hope that and his continued outspokenness about his experience make everyone think twice before policing people’s gender and bodies.

#kinnporsche #why don’t queue stay #apo nattawin #it also strikes me as especially ironic that one of the early discourse vultures we had to bat away from the fandom was bitching #about Porsche and Kinn not being ‘visibly queer enough’ bc they’re ‘masculine’ and ‘straight-presenting’ and Porsche fucks women #just the absolute worst most garbage take (from a queer person!) policing the fuck out of queer men and their bodies right out the gate #while Porsche to me has a veritable OCEAN worth of nuance #and actively bucks against cishet normative ideas about masculinity and queer men #imagine being that fucking focused on prescribing what queerness SHOULD look like instead of seeing what queerness CAN and DOES look like #anyway I fucking love Porsche I love his bisexuality and I fucking love his gender #and I fucking love Apo for giving him to us