#couldnt think of a good caption for this one. this is so sad

[bobzora]

#persona 5 #p5 #joker p5 #akira kurusu #ren amamiya #my art #the colors are a lot richer on my ipad than laptop.well. c'est la vie #(outfit from deresute. saw it and was like wow this is just like persona5) #(heart detail.butterfly detail. red and black. you cant see it very well but the jacket comes down into 2 tails. its real.) #(i dont own that card though. hashtag sad i guess) #love/hate relationship with elaborate clothing.but i always come back to elaborate clothing. #another basic ass composition. sigh.well. i think its pretty at least. #someday ill start drawing more and more complicated again.someday...! #couldnt think of a good caption for this one. this is so sad #anyway.shoutout joker :)

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Tour without You

Summary: fans saw the video of cal singing ghost of you and people think you two broke up.

a/n: SO YALL KNOW WHICH VIDEO I'M TALKING ABOUT RIGHT? Idk if he was actually crying, but a part of me tells me he was, but idk who knows, but i hope he was okay and is doing okay now.

You were currently home watching duke at yours and cal’s place. You couldn't go on tour with cal because of work, so being alone was a norm you had grown into. Whenever you didn't go on tour you and cal would spend time calling one another whenever a show was over, so he could see you and if you needed to comfort him for anything. He hated when he had to leave you alone, but you would reassure him you had someone that was a part of him. Duke would usually stay with the dog sitter, but when you stayed back home you watched duke. You two would have some quality time together as usual so the small pup can use his energy throughout the day.

For Cal though today, just wasn't his day. Their bus tour had taken a re-route, they got to the venue late, he couldn't focus during rehearsal since it was cut short, from them arriving late. Usually when stress came he was able to handle it well, but you usually were there to comfort him right there and then, which also added to his stress as well, not being able to be with you in moments like these. Fans in the audience and online had seen his expression and worried for him, especially when singing Ghost of you. He hated that his stress would reflect how he acts during shows, but today was really bad for him. Cal doesn't really notice when fans are recording, but a video had gone viral during the concert within minutes and fans skepulating about you and cal. You had no idea of this hence you not being near your phone all day and having a nice day out with duke. Your phone had been blasting all night and once you got home with duke you checked it once seeing all the notifications on all of your socials.You were slightly confused as to why there were so many so you checked it out.

@5SOSUPDATES: is it possible cal and y/n broke up? Could be because they haven been posting with one another. Also today’s performance he seemed sad, especially during Ghost of you.

“What the hell?” you said as the puppy barked at you as you continued to look for something that gave you some sort of idea that was going on. Then MTV also made a topic off of it.

SPECULATING BREAK UP RUMOURS: POPSTAR CALUM HOOD AND GIRLFRIEND Y/N L/N POSSIBLY BROKE UP BEFORE A SHOW DURING TOUR

You were quick to find the resources they were using to claim these speculations and there was a video of cal singing ghost of you, at first it was all good, he was singing good, you saw no sad emotions, but when it got to him harmonizing, with the ghost of you, that's when his expression changed. At first you thought that it was just the way he was singing. But you looked over and yeah you were convinced he was crying.

You tried to first go over anything you might have said to make him upset, but there was nothing, you texted when you could and he seemed fine the night before, so you didn't know what was wrong. Unless he lied to you, which he would do when he was away from you. He didn't want to bother you, but you always told him to talk to you when he was feeling down and not himself. You were always going to be there to talk to him always. Just then you got a call from mali, you were quick to answer as she probably has seen these as well.

“Mali, hey.” you said as she spoke, “hey super weried, but have you been on your socials and possibly MTV?” she asked as you sighed, “yes i have.” you said as she contuned, “okay, is it ture?? Did you two break up? Omg did cal do something because i swear-” she said as you giggled and cut her off, “no we didn't, well at least i think so, but uh, no i called him before this show and he seemed fine, but you know how he is, he doesn't tell the full truth until you get it out of him.” you said as she hummed, “thats true, well are you talking to him tonight?” she asked as you hummed back, “yeah i should be getting a call in about an hour, i dont think he has checked his phone yet, so i'll call you first thing alright?” you said as she hummed and you two said your goodbyes. As your phone was still blowing up, more and more rumours were being made, but you didn't expect to be getting attacked.

5SOSWILDFLOWER: Yall, there are some photos of y/n with another guy before cal had gone to tour, guess cal has a reason.

|

Caly/n_stan: i don't think she would cheat though, they've been together for years.

|

Lukehemmingsstan: i mean yeah but people change especially when dating a celeb, and it wouldn't be the first time a 5sos member would be cheated on.

|

@mikeycliff5sos: i mean you can tell she was just in it for the money and the fame, she never spoke about her job.

You were at first confused as to what pictures you were talking about, but then you clearly remember you were with the dog sitter, who happens to be a guy. He was one of Cal's best friends and he always took care of duke when you were away. You were there before cal had gone to tour, to tell him personally that you were staying with duke, since you knew him and it would be nice to catch up on duke’s behavior. Of course the fans didn't know that, but that didn't mean they should attack you. You were kinda stressed about this situation, especially with the things being said, fans even started to question your real intentions with cal and wondered if you were just after cal for his money and fame questioning your line of work as well, which wasnt public because you line of work was importnatn, you were a visual editor at entertainment company and well you kept it private and you didn't want any problems.

On cal’s side of things, he hadnt checked his phone at all wanting to handle one side of stress at a time. After teh show he realxed before calling you, making sure he looked good and fine. But once he lifted his phone he had seen so many notifications, at first he thought it was about the show from tonight but when he clicked he saw everything that was being said about you and him that you two had broken up and the means things being said about you. He was quick to call you as you answered quickly hoping he was okay.

“Hey” you both said quite rapidly, “sorry you go first.” cal said as you sighed and spoke, “are you okay? But i want to know the full truth cal, you know you can talk to me.” you said as he rubebd his head and wished he had spoken to you before anything, he knew if he talked to you hten these rumours wouldnt be made. “Fuck love, im sorry, we had to reroute the show for tonight we got there late, and rehearsal was rushed and, today i didn't do my best to hide my stressed emotions, i tried, but i couldnt, all i wnated to do was talk to you before the show, but i wasnt able to,” he said as his voice was cracking and you felt bad for him, you knew he handled stress well, but you knew today was one of those days, “bub its okay, just talk to me about this kind of stress to help you when you can, no matter what time it may be. I know im not htere, but remeber im a phone call away, always. No matter waht okay, you call me when youre feeling like this.” you said as he smiled a little missing you so much more than he should be able to.

“Youre too good for me you know that? Im sorry for waht the fans are saying, i'll straighten it out babe, they shouldnt be saying this stuff about you,” he said as you giggled, “its fine, it hurt at first, but i mean this all happend beucase i was out with dukes dogsitter,” you said as he laughed a little, “gosh the fans are really out of hand, i love you so much, youre there for me more than many times i could even count, you know youre it for me,” he said as you blushed hearing his words, he would tell you this all the time. It was true, you were it for him and he was it for you. “And youre it for me too, and i'll happily be there for you, always you know that.” you said as he smiled and jsut couldnt wait to get home to you. After talking for about 2 hours, you said your goodbyes and you had gone with the rest of your day as cal had straighten out with the fans about his citation.

He posted a picture on his story of you and captioned it:

To clear out the rumours from today, me and y/n are happily together. y/n has not and has never cheated on me, for those who know she is everything to me and i will do anything to not lose her. There is no anger towards this situation jsut please, be careful with what you say on the interent, even if y/n and i dont post about us everyday its not htat wer are not together, we like to live in the present with one another since i go away for tour. Usually shes here with me, but sadly she isnt. So again please just be aware with what you are posting, we are human and things that were said towards her will hurt anyone.

#calum hood #calum 5sos #calumthomashood #5sos calum #calum hood imagine #calum hood 5sos

[ndiecity]

idk ur still doing the confessions thing but anyway. it's not really wild or anything, i just needed to get it off my chest lol (you can ignore this if you want this gets pretty long and confusing i think so buckle up)

also shoutout to the 6th grade anon, i had a similar 6th grade exp. middle schoolers are the worst. i literally had little no friend AND was bullied lol.

anyway there was this one girl in my class that was like a sorta popular girl i was friends with. so during 6th grade, i had no friends except for her (i dont think she saw me as a friend tho or were even friends in the first place?? idk) and i would always crave her attention. i didn't know i had a crush on her i think.

(side note: i would rate the girls in my class based on how pretty and nice to me they are, (i think i put her on 2nd lol))

so then whenever she was absent for the day i would feel sad and all that shit. whenever she was around i always do anything to please her or make her think im cool or something (i was not cool, i was a loser). we would talk endlessly on messenger, talking abt random shit, how shitty her mom was, how shitty my mom was etc. one time during our first class for the day (which was about 5am i think) she was acting weird, i asked her about it, she said her stomach hurt. so me, being all lovesick and shit gave her my lunch ( i didn't have lunch money and only had sandwiches lol) when she thanked me for it, and said she felt better, i felt so proud. idk i just felt so happy then

fast forward to end of 6th grade, we were graduating. by that i mean transitioning from 6th grade to 7th grade. anyway. so we graduated, kept in touch, still messaged her on messenger, and then school got in the way and my phone got taken away cuz i failed sum classes in the 2nd quarter. never had it back since. so we didnt talk for about 4 years.

so back in 2020, my parents got me a laptop for school, and i made a new mess. acc. i reached out to her again. we talked, talked abt shitty moms, i found out she's bi and i told her im a lesbian. after a few days i asked her if she'd ever had a gf or bf or whatever (like the idiot i was) and said she didnt have to answer if she didnt want to obvi. she said yes she's had bf's before. i said, cool. then she asked me why i was asking i told her i was just curious.

then came out of nowhere, she said, "wanna try?" so then my brain shut off and i didnt reply for minutes then she just sent a "haha"

and she was like, "oh sorry was that weird? sorry😬"

but i said it was fine and shit. we didnt talk about it for about a day.

then we were talking again and i was like, "so this is gonna sound weird but do you ever like, like someone and would want a romantic relationship with them but wouldn't like, mind being their friend instead? like youre in the middle?"

and she said "yeah, i have" so then i was like "oh cool, cool"

then she asked, "why? have you?" and i said yes.

then she asked who. and my brain shut off again lmaoo so i was just like "you" the speech bubble appeared multiple times lmao then i followed up with like, "sorry! that was weird! please just forget about it!"

then she was like, "no no, it's fine. i feel the same way" (and i beliived it. how naive was i?)

so then i was like, "really?? cool cool cool" (im a really awkward person okay)

then after a few minutes of talking again (you know when you're like flirting as a joke but then it's not a joke anymore? lol) she was like, "so wanna be my gf?"

my brain shut off again. i didnt answer for a few minutes cuz my brain was dead. then she was like, "um was that too fast? that was too fast sorryy"

by the time i read that my hand was shaking lmaoo (from nervousness or shock i dont know) so i hastily replied with, "nah its fine. i would love too" after overthinking it and shit

does dating count when your just talking over text? what is dating????

anyway we flirt a lot, saying goodnight, i love you's and shit. she said i was her first gf, i said she was my first relationship and what not. i was genuinely happy. i had a person who understood me, and liked me, and i was happy. she even said she saved my bday on her phone

so then like about a week and a before my bday was when shits started to go down.

i messaged her, said a quick goodmorning cuz i had classes and how i wanted to kill myself and shit like that (dont worry, im not actively suicidal and she already knew this) she replied and i quote "Good morning, love. I love you."

then like after classes, i messaged her, asked how her day was, told her about my day etc. i waited about an hour. (she doesnt typically reply for about 10 - 15 minutes cuz duh she does have a more eventful life than mine) so i thought none of it. thought she was just busy. so it was nighttime and still no word from her. so i said good night and wished for her to be safe.

morning came, i checked my messages, still nothing, she didnt even see it yet. i went on with my day thinking nothing of it. told myself she might have some problems at home and all that. by the 3rd day, i was pretty anxious and i couldnt think properly. my brain conjuring up scenarios where her mom found out, and her phone got taken away. anything just to convince myself what the dreaded truth was.

it was the 5th day was when i gave up. i saw she changed her pfp, and captioned it like she would normally caption it. replied to the comments, that kind of shit. so then i was so mad by then so i commented too. ofc she didnt reply. i spent days worrying over her safety, when in reality she's just an asshole. and i really thought she really like me you know? i really thought she'd at least considered me as her friend, i guess not

my bday came, we had a party but i wasn't really feeling it ya know? by then i'd already spent the past week crying myself to sleep. no one noticed a thing.

a few months ago i saw she had a bf, and by that time i already felt like my old self again, no longer the broken pathetic shell she left. i was back to square one. so i cried again.

present day, i still see her posts, her ig stories, (i dont think she blocked me). and i cant bring myself to block her either. like idk on one hand i'm so mad that she just left me hanging, that her relationship with her new bf lasted longer than we were together and on the other i knew if she ever reached out again, i would latch on to every inch of her. (that's probably bad lol)

anyway have a nice day/afternoon/night!!!! i hope i havent troubled you too much lol sorry!

Damn that's a lot to take in, I'm sorry 😔

#long post

[sapphosclown]

hsmtmts 207 spoilers !!

felt like rewatching it here’s me thoughts 🤪

EJ AND GINA CO-ANCHORS SO TRUE

the 2 seconds of gini content love to see it

ok nini said the song means so much to her and then repeatedly tells ricky it means nothing 🤨

ej and ricky talking in the beginning 🥰

SEB LOOKED SO SAD THAT THEY COULDNT DO DEAR EVAN HANSEN AW

kourtneys like cut away where she’s giggling ab howie i love her

i love her except keep ur phone on silent queen 😚

“i… have.. abs???”

“i also padded the tush for you” “aw thanks i actually needed that”

THE FAKE ZOOM ON CARLO’S PHONE LMAO

“i would” LMAO

nini why are those heart eyes at gina so aggressive 😏

“we have to get even… right?”

why are they all so stupid i love them

everyone was so shocked gina volunteered to be look out

ok but don’t leave nini and kourtney unsupervised either bc they actually stole ginas stuff too 😁

ginas so pretty

WHYD THEY ALL YELL WILDCATS THEYRE SO DUMB

Anyways kourtney is also cute as hell in this ep

sorry i don’t like miss jen romance plots

“what’s your name” oh shit oh fuck oh shit what do i do- “diane”

north high extra making gina uncomfy for 1 minute straight

that’s the face of a lesbian who doesn’t wanna talk to this man if i’ve ever seen it

“can i get your snap” is so funny to me

RISOTTO

THEUR AWKWARD LUGHS WHEN THE GUY LEAVES LMAO THEYRE BOTH GAY IDC

it’s the way they’re bad lookouts

why the fuck did they make nini wear a tie under that shirt

that’s literally just mean whyd they do that

if they dressed me like that i’d probably wanna leave the show too /j

the only connection to hsm they have now is still calling them wildcats

i think they should’ve incorporated more hsm songs instead of periodically calling then wildcats when that’s not even their real mascot

FUGLY

“oh yeah? what isle we BOP TO THE TOP” good try babe

ej and gina being the only ones excited

don’t fucking talk ab ashlyn like that

gina standing up for ash so true

“miss jen said not to dance with the enemy” miss jen: 💃💃

sorry don’t care much for this performance

in the mean time i was eating a cheese pizza lunchable and both of the cheeses taste the exact same

rickys like fuck ur compliment… what is the compliment

it wasn’t even a compliment that was so bitchy

ricky doesn’t even like her but he looks back at her later

ik theyre just trying to break up the couples but i like that ashlyn is the center of a love triangle

plot twist red is jealous but also has a crush on antoine

tom holland on stilts

no ash loves him so much aw

also how can anyone see ej in that shirt and think straight man ik that’s stereotyping or something but COME ON

he knew damn well he was being rude

EJ “yesssss” LMAO I LOVE HIM

it’s ok ej i think the mob song is great (this version at least i haven’t heard the og sorry)

he didn’t have to be bitchy telling nini to leave

sad she didn’t perform but also i think she would’ve looked goofy lol

i’m gonna watch the performance cause i like it but here’s what i remember

ej shouldve gotten a solo

why does ricky have a guitar

ashlyn absolutely ate that blonde bitch up

red too absolutely ate

yk who else ate. carlos

HE ATE THAT ONE NOTE I STG

also kourtney and gina advancing so true

although their dancing looked kinda weird cause it was just them idk anyways

um yeah this performance is fun i’m watching it now

i didn’t notice when i watched the first time but whyd the captions spoil it was howie 😐😐

jealous red looked so funny

also east high won sorry

seb that’s what i said they should’ve had a judge

nini really said oh well we’ll do it anyways like no queen you’ll literally be disqualified

EJS FACE WHEN THE CAMERA PANNED TO HIM LMAO

rickys kinda right the song doesn’t really fit it’s too much of a pop song not musical theater

look back

i can’t believe the mf teacher took the mask. how fucking pathetic.

i don’t like that nini won’t fucking talk to ricky about how she feels even when he tries to talk to her like guys you could fix your relationship very easily

also anti romantic portwell it makes me so uncomfy

although howie being the beast i- plot twist idk how i didn’t see that coming

i like that her music she’s going by nina i think that’s kinda fun

also the preview… i stg ej and gina are gonna have some sort of moment and i’m gonna hate it

if ej doesn’t have a good amount of screen time i’m rioting

the preview pictures looked like ricky and nini make up

OH YEAH EJ GASTON MOMENT PLS

ok that’s all i think thank you

#idk who liked reading these but it’s fun for me 🤪 #hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 spoilers

[brelione]

The Surfer And The Siren

Chapter Three:The Conspiracy Blog,The Investigation and The Shitty Sister In Law

Chapter One       Chapter Two

Warnings:Mentions of racism,homophobia

S0rry that this chapter is kind of short.The next one will be longer.

You didn't understand how you had never found out about this.The article was from 2012 by a conspiracy blog.There were dozens of photographs of you,a bright red circle showing where you was in group photos that were taken in the fifties and more from the seventies.There were a few photos of your large scales the size of quarters that had been found on coral reefs and posted on facebook with captions asking for someone to tell the finder what animal the scale belonged to.Another photo showed a photo of your fluke splashing out of the water.In some your hair had been tucked into your old red hat so the mess of blue waves wouldn't be seen.But somehow those photos had been linked to others from the bridge of your nose and the color of your skin.You kind of missed the old days before all the facial recognition technology.

You went through the photos to see paragraphs and paragraphs with quotes from the interview with Linden. “Linden Sislip,sister of poet and former pawn shop owner claims that her brother was in love with the sea monster of Outer Banks.For decades a murderous mermaid-like creature has haunted the waters and supposedly lured multiple men to painful water related deaths.Outerbanks is known as Paradise on Earth and is home to countless millionaires AKA the sea monsters preferred prey.Some think the creature has migrated elsewhere because of a string of similar deaths closer to California.What do you think?”That article had to be the most bull shit thing you had ever read.Luckily most of the comments agreed,calling the photos fake and saying the scales were that of a tuna’s.

That was pretty insulting to say the least but at least they didn't actually believe you were a serial killing sea monster.That made you feel better but knowing how much Linden hated you definitely hurt a bit.She had hated most people though.She hated the poor,people of color,lgbt+,cats and babies.What kind of sociopath hates cats and babies?You couldn't wrap your head around the fact that somehow she was raised by the same parents he was yet she ended up like that.He was ahead of his time.He was respectful and kind and he loved everyone regardless of social status,race or sexuaity.That’s what made you feel so close to him.Linden had always stared in disgust when he bought extra newspapers to bring to people who couldn't afford them or when he saved his food to bring to children whose parents worked three jobs and still couldn't pay for a decent meal.

You pitied Linden,you couldn't even imagine being that closed minded and ignorant.Things were much worse in the South for sure but you tried your best to get to people.After he had passed away Linden had forced the rest of the family to completely shut you out.You couldn't go to the funeral or even go into their home to grab things that you could remember him by.She blamed you fro his death when she should have blamed herself.It was a terrible thought because in reality there was noone to blame but he had spent so much time in his life trying to convince her to be a good person and convince her to respect people.It had been a waste of years trying to wear her down and make her good but you cant help them all.

The interview didn't really shock you that much.She had always been bitter about you and your origins bit what did shock you was the fact that she had a son in 1950.A son named Bellamy Maybank. “Shit.”You whispered under your breath.Richard waited for you to explain your shock but when you didn't say anything he grew impatient. “What?”He asked.You just nodded,trying to form words.This was real life.This wasnt some weird dream or a conspiracy.This was actually real.This article was published 8 years ago and you had never seen it.

How could you have never seen it?You wondered if Richard knew and had hid it from you but that couldnt be.He knew just as little as you did. “You were right...but theres a time gap.How good are you at investigating?”You asked.A wide smile came across his mature,wrinkly face. “Are you forgetting about how I sunk Ward Cameron’s boat and completely trashed his plans in like...two hours?”He asked.You laughed quietly.Richard had always been so proud of that. “God,how could I forget?”You grinned,looking back up at the TV. “So what do you need me to find out?Make me a list in my notes app.You know which one the notes app is,right?”He teased.You rolled your eyes,opening the app and making a new note.

Close the time gap (after 50-now)

Learn about JJ,Pope,Kiara and the other one.

Check up on Ward’s plans

It had been a hot minute since you had Richard investigate someone.Last time had been nearly 20 years ago.Turns out Ward Cameron was hunting you down in attempt to kidnap and sell you.he was a fucked up son of a trout and you would most definitely say that to his face if given  the chance.You placed the phone down,looking back up at the tv.The main character was threatening a rude looking blonde boy with terrible fashion sense. “Could we drive around for a while?”You asked.He nodded,standing up from his chair.His feet were sore but he always pulled through for you.You two went back out to his car.He turned on your favorite CD that belonged to Billie Eilish.So much had changed since just a few years ago.Someone like Billie would absolutely be an outcast back when you were her age.

Something about the way that cars moved made you happy.It was strange to see the world shifting around you.How poor people rode horses and the rich had cars and how the tables had turned.You had seen so many wars and so many deaths yet you had watched multiple births.You watched segregation end and witnessed people of all races and ethnicities get the right to vote.You had seen the day that the lgbt community finally got rights.And you had helped with it all.You had experienced the life of the poor and of the filthy rich and you were only a quarter through your life.You had been a friend to Marilyn Monroe and saw the day that JFK was assassinated.You had seen so much that no one else had experienced.

You had heard so many old folks complain about the music of today and how it had been so much better back in their day but you could not disagree more.There was no reason to bash the modern ones music.All music is good music except for country music,of course.Richard drove through figure 8 so you could gaze at all the houses.It was quite disgusting that there were only an average of three people living in huge mansions with six bedrooms that they didn't need yet there were families of eight suffering in tiny houses made for three people maximum.The rich were greedy,bitter and overall selfish and annoying.

The poor were generous and grateful for everything they did have and were more likely to be kind and understanding.It was really just a sad place but you didn't want to go anywhere else.A lot of other areas had water that was far too polluted but definitely had better people and a better atmosphere on land.It didn't really matter how great the land was when you could only see it once a month anyways.Plus OBX had a great cave system and pretty nice weather.Richard turned his car,going back to The Cut.If you were to live anywhere in Outer Banks it would most definitely be The Cut.It had an all around better atmosphere,friendlier people and better hiding spots. “So how are the naiads?Have you heard from them?”He asked,purposefully driving slowly.You sighed,turning down the radio. 

“Not really,the only river entrance got blocked off by a ton of fallen branches.I haven't gotten any calls from them though so thats good.Its not that I don't like them or anything but they're just….god,they're so annoying.”You leaned back in your chair.He chuckled. “Does Esmerelda still have a crush on you?”He asked,turning down the dirt road.You nodded. “She’s just….she’s cute but she’s annoying,you know?”You asked.He nodded. “That ones always been kinda strange in the head.”He agreed.Once you got back to the house the sky was lightening up which meant you had such little time.You sat in the backyard in one of the camping chairs with your paper bag in your hand and the drawstring bag hanging off your shoulders.Blue sat with his head on your knee,staring up at you with his big shiny eyes.

He knew the drill by now,his drool making a dark puddle on your jeans as he whined for attention before you had to leave again.Richard had tried to bring the dog out to see you before but it never worked out.Blue got eager and excited and walked to fast for Richard and it wasn't safe for a dog to walk along rough and bumpy rocks.It wasn't exactly safe for an elderly man either but it sucks to suck.You stared up at the sky,wiggling your toes while you still could.As the sun began to come up over the horizon a similar aching pain spread from your heels to your thighs,your body feeling heavy. “I’ll see you next week,(Y/N).”Richard stood up to hug you.You hugged him back,tears pricking at your eyes.

Blue pawed at you,licking your jeans.You kissed his forehead lightly before limping down to the water.You dragged yourself into the water,collapsing when you were at your knees.Your legs tingled,your head slipping under the water as your legs knit together in a painful mess.From below your hips your tail grew,your hair falling in your face as all evidence that you had been human left you.Your hend clenched the deteriorating paper bag as you swished your fins,gaining control over your body again.The sun was now reflecting off the water,nearly blinding you.You ducked under the water,going deeper and deeper.

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[lampoest]

by request from @yeessha

Mission Impossible Fallout Thoughts

Like before: cursing and spoilers !!

short logos nice !!

oop starts with lane talking, always a win 😼😼

why does lane have a beard in this dream?

ooh dramatic nice !!

probably one of my favorite openings

this is badass

hhh its my favorite anarchist:)))

ooh cool name

ofc it's about nuclear warfare why not ??

nervous benji = win

sjshsjsgs

that man reminds me of elon musk :\

cant tell if that was tryna be a pg way to say 'fuck off'

where dat money luther ✋🙄🙄

what was that scream !?!

*throws plutonium*

cool car

ooh the shadows on that guys face

man this scene is really good

BENJI STAY WITH THE FUCKING PLUTONIUM WHAT-

well shit-

oh hey that news guy

pulling a sneaky on him

i also love this scene sm

literally everything about the nils delbruuk scene

:0 so cool

benji got to wear a mask >:))))

sjshsjsgsjs they made a bet on it i love that

ethan is very cool

HELL YEAH THEME SONG !!

i can never take hunley seriously

ooh she pretty :))

this movie has great lines

i also love how it goes in depth about moral choices

WALKER YESS :)))))))))) HE SO PRETTY😳😳

also she pretty too :))))

i just realized why former presidents still are protected

i like how they curse more

bro why is walker so :)))))))

btw this is just gonna be me simping literally everyone

the height difference

HALO JUMP HALO JUMP HALO JUMP

ugh fuck off walker you may be pretty but replying with 'crystal' naw fam✋😬😬

yes because we can die

oop they be falling

i dont think that would work but ok if you say so

not even worth it

i couldnt tell what they were saying until i put on captions

although i dont need any captions to understand the french 😼😼

the faint beat in the background v cool

reflexes

breaking things

chekhovs gun

shdhgdhshdjdhdjs why-

dis why you use the needle

damn he beating the shit out of them

ooh its ilsa

ethan why-

ooh she pretty too 😳😳

alright uh badass female is great

that man reminds me of a toddler

strong accusation coming from a terrorist

shsjdgsjs he wearing arm pads like the toddler whos mom is overprotective

WALKER TOO PRETTY:)))))

oop change of plans

LANE LANE LANE LANE

YES MY MAN :))))))))))

motorcycle chase pog

BENJI IN SUSPENDERS BENJI IN SUSPENDERS !!!

well shit-

eyy he killed some dudes

again walker, no one cares

oh dang she has to be careful, her aim is not the best

R U N

vrrm vrrrm

LOVE THIS SCENE YES

you can tell ethan is trying so hard not to punch lane rn

dang lane really flipped the interrogation hats off man

also i lowkey agree with his message. not his method though-

oop pretty ladies

also ethan killed 4 of your men maam

telepathy

SKDHJSJSJSHS YES THIS SCENE LANE SO PRETTY :)))))))))

i love how lane is just standing there vibing while they talk to hunley

benji dont worry youre great

wait i just noticed that benji's outfit is so cool-

skdgdjshs

walker is cool tbh

ILSA !??

this seems awfully familiar

im working on it

its a trap !!!

benjis wtf face there

oop tea ????

im paying attention to outfits so i can recreate their styles

oop i love how it focuses on walker there

true true

sticking up for your friend

no hes just here because they needed more pretty men

waiting for a diversion

in because HE IS LARK MY GOD ETHAN

ALSO THE LITTLE HEAD NOD I CANT-

stole han solos line there

matching jackets😼😼

how did they swap them ??

and how did lane go along ??

chekhovs......knife ??

wow he really fell for it

also more cursing pog

my two favorite characters together :)))))

CHGJFGSJ I CHOKED ON MY WATER KESUS CRISP

....oop i done fucked up

hunley being all cool and shit

benji being all cool and shit

lanes look of dissapointment is 🤌🤌

like damn bro you fell for that !??

lark

he really tryna lie out of it

ooh her-

whyd he say that-

oop betrayal

i love how benji is the first to drop his weapon

so cool

yeah wait where the hell is lane ??

rip hunley

whyd they treat his death like the death of a lover or smth

first wedding crashers, then funeral crashers, what next ?? birth crashers ??

the most tom cruisey sequence ive ever seen. some comedy some crazy stunts and a broken ankle but still finishing the take

chair theft pog

also i love how not just in this scene but before you see helicopters flying around

hes just hanging onto the elevator and the look walker gives him is top notch

ooh blackmail

this feels like the glass box scene. his foes are getting away and there is nothing he can do

its mission impossible for a reason

tea time with luther

ilsa is a good friend

benji is the mvp here

dang im just realizing how pretty ethan is 😳😳

keep your eyes on the road

luther is great, this is all just a luther appreciation post

they-

they-

they all just copied walker's beard

oh no its julia

ah yes one of the bombs

i like how it actually does take about 15 minutes

uhh no❤️ tom cruise why must you feel the need to do this

LANE :)))))

again why does he feel the need-

walker :)))))))

julia is pretty cool

hes just like: what the fuck how- why-

airspeed ah yes the most important part of not dying

this is a julia appreciation post

what was your plan after that? the detonator would just be at the bottom of that lake

the expressions walker makes :))))

hehe bitch

well shit he has a gun

his hair !!!!!

some star wars level action here

bro benji listen to ilsa

sjsgsjgsjsvsjs this shouldn't be so funny

bro ilsa listen to benji

benji stop wasting time

probably last time but, lane !!!!!

found the other bomb

very true statements from walker

other ? bomb ??

no personal space

ooh uhm lane maybe please dont-

the way he just pops his head into frame like: what the fuck was that ?

no sir you didn't survive that. that is false

i love how she clearly has the same fighting style as before

no benji no smooth brain move

mr lane do your shoes need shining ?!?

dey see me rollin-

ofc he gets burnt why the fuck not

uuuhm what✋😀😀 when the hot oil started spraying i felt a drop of what felt like hot oil on my finger. i am in my room and there isnt even water in here. im scared

also how tf is that holding his weight

chekhovs hook

team work makes the dream work

dang keep believing lane keep thinking that ✋🙄🙄

hes still pretty

so close oh no

why do things just magically stop at the edge of cliffs

kesus crisp ethan not again

i love his shoes though -

what if the hook missed though ??

esploded

thats a no from me dawg

his meniachal little smile shdgsjsgsj

its an action film he'll have it

aww lane so sad :((( oh yeah and 1/3 of the world is saved too. good job ig.

THEY PUT MY MAN IN A TRUNK NOOO >:000000

i like how they end as friends not as romantic interests. v nice

i love how this movie highlights the importance of friends but not in a childish way. even as adults friends are important. they are there for you when no one else did. i like that message.

alright thats pretty much it. sorry that its just me simping pretty much. in conclusion this is my favorite movie 14/10 but i can't wait for the 7th movie.

#mission impossible #benji dunn #solomon lane #ethan hunt #unfiltered thoughts #ilsa faust #august walker #luther stickell

[pbandjesse]

Happy Halloween!! I hope you all are having a great day. And I really hope you all can see the special moon tonight! Right now its slightly cloudy so I havent seen it yet but there is still time 

I felt a little better today. I feel a lot better right now. But that wasnt true all day.   Last night was hard. I was half asleep when James got home. And then was half awake pretty much all night. Like every time there was a sound I would like focus on it. And sweetP was pushing on the door and making noise and I kept getting a song stuck in a loop in my head and it was just not fun. 

So our alarm goes off at 7 and I was like. Hey I just. Cant. And slept until 9. James came back for me but I was not doing good. My mouth still hurt really bad. And I was just sore everywhere. I felt weak. He brought me the breakfast sandwich he made me and some berries. But I couldnt taste anything so it was a struggle. 

I knew I wanted to go out into nature today. I told James this. And he said he would be ready whenever I wanted to leave. 

So I pulled myself out of bed and got showered and dressed. I braided my hair and put glitter all over my face and I felt really cute and started to feel better. 

We drove out to a trail head James had biked to before. And it was really beautiful. I tried to take some instax photos but the lighting was apparently to dark and they didnt come out. But thats okay. The nature was really pretty. I climb on a fallen tree. James climbed on a big rock. We found a sculpture in the woods? The leaves were so nice and the weather was cold but in the best way. 

Most people at least put a mask up as they went past us. A few people didnt even seem to have masks with them and that was annoying but we didnt say goodmorning to them so I hope they know we thought they were rude. There was a lot of mud and I slipped at one point. But we were holding hands so I didnt fall for long but i did bump my knee and it got wet and I was sad about that. So when we found a bunch we sat for a little while.

Then I got really hungry all of a sudden. So we turned around and took the path back to the car. 

We decided to go to the BBQ place James's likes. I got a bunch of sides. He got ribs. We shared cornbread. The boy at the window told us that he has been encouraging people to vote and someone got really mad and called in to try to get him fired. Wild. I hope he's alright. 

We went home. Had out lunch. And celebrated sweetP's birthday! He is 6 today! James had given him some cream cheese for breakfast and for lunch we let him lick the rib bones. He also had a little potato salad and corn bread. The food was great and I enjoyed the company. 

After lunch I did some cleaning. James worked on the kitchen while I picked up the rest of the apartment. It made me feel better. 

Soon though James had to go to work. And I was sad. But I wished him luck and promised we would do the halloween stuff on our island when he got home. 

When he left I went to lay in the studio to watch a video. I got cold so I put my skeleton costume on. And laid down. But then there was so much music outside. I forgot about the kid parade of costumes. I watched them for a little bit but they had bruno mars music blasting so loud for almost 3 hours. It was not the greatest. 

I was able to fall asleep but it was still loud when I woke up. I got up though and worked on a few little projects. Tried to be positive. 

It was about 5 and thats when the Animal Crossing Halloween stuff started! So while I would save most of it for when James got home I did play for a little. I am slightly sad that none of my villagers think Im wearing a costume. So I have to carry around a mask so they will give me candy. And I won a few of the things I really wanted. I had to get off though because if a villager sees you they ask for candy and I wanted to make sure I had enough for when James got back here. 

The island did throw a little party for sweetP's birthday though and that was fun. They had cupcakes and a pinata. It was very cute. I took so many pictures. 

I hung out and worked on stuff for the instagram store tomorrow. I accidently deleted all my drafted posts so I had to retype the captions all up again but I did it on a google doc I can grab from. Frustrating but I will make it work. 

Eventually I took a bath. Listened to spooky stories. Made a taco. Sang songs to sweetP. Its been a good night. 

I hope James comes home soon. And I hope the moon comes out. And I hope we all sleep easy tonight. Take care of yourselves. Be safe!!

[yikes-xander]

decided to do soft edits this time, my heart :) tylerstrands march 15, etclipse april 6 may 15 april 19 jan 30, graecu.s april 21, eluscaptain april 23 29 (THE SONG 😭) , may 10 march 24, aqvaedits april 26 27 4, lyndalsedits may 6 (AGAIN THE SONG), xperaltiagos may 18 april 2 , retrodiaz march 3 , jenmishs april 26 (the song i’m just sad) , violqted may 18. okay that’s so many i’m sorry i have no self control lol. but for a sprinkle of sadness have this edit eluscaptain april 8

me: wakes up n immediately watches all of these

1. oh how I yearn to lay on the hood of a car n just stare up into the night sky with the person I love 🥺

2. I stg the au ones always hit harder, ooh a mega edit w all the boys cute!! if buck n Eddie's slowburn just ends up being queerbaiting I'm gonna scream, carlos n I are one and the same - cant stop thinking about tk 😔

3. I agree w the caption buck n eddie are endgame

4. okay but buck digging in the MUD W HIS BARE HANDS BC HE WANTS TO SAVE EDDIE KILLS ME EVERY TIME I SEE IT, I would DIE for evan buckley I will take no criticism, the whole lawsuit situation made me so sad 🥺, I love bucks relationship w chris so much hes Dad Material

5. another edit w all 4!! buck n eddie care about each other so much IM SOFT, "we make a pretty good team" if I dont have a relationship this good one day I'm gonna cry

6. I love when buck n eddie high they look so soft n it makes me CRY

7. "who is that?" its ur boyfriend buck, I need season 5 asap 😔

8. carlos running his fingers through tks hair makes me 🥺

9. "that's love your honor" CAPTION IS SO RIGHT

10. the scene where buck n Eddie are playing video games w chris is one of my faves!!

11. this edit is so well done oof but also I felt so bad for buck when this happened bc he couldnt do what he loves n he thought he was being replaced by bosko I cry ☹

#911 #911 lone star #evan buckley #tk strand #eddie diaz #carlos reyes #tarlos #buddie #ask #anon #edits

[insomnihan]

han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Deja Vu”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MY TIME HAS COME 2.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FULL INSOMNIA MODE DONT. LOOK. AT. ME.

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG OKAY LETS JUMP RIGHT INTO IT i wasnt expecting something lowkey sad BUT im not mad at it!!!!!!!!!! i had conflicting emotions when i desperately wanted to cry but also headbang?????? HOWEVER thanks to force and air the tears in my eyes were drying as i headbanged- LIKE this song really PUT ME THROUGH IT like that chorus didnt have tO DO ME LIKE THAT™!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THEN THE VERSES AND THE PRE-CHORUSES WERE SLOW (and the bridge but bridges be like that in nearly all songs) WHICH IM ACTUALLY REALLY INTO it was like being in a roller coaster with the verses being the slow hill and the chorus was the fall THAT PIANO GOES HARD...................... but like in a soft way????? DONT ASK ME WHAT IM SAYING IS IM A HOE™ FOR PIANO THOSE DRUMS DURING THE CHORUS STOP IT I CANNOT I FELT THEM VIBRATE THROUGH MY BONES

like i DEADASS have nothing to criticize or change about this song its PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS (except for like more gahyeon and dami????? pls??????)

siyeon starting the song.......................... thank you.............. I STILL STAND BY SAYING I WOULD LISTEN TO HER VOICE FOR LITERALLY FOREVER HER VOICE DURING THE CHORUS QUEEN OF SINGING CHORUSES OH BUT THEN THAT HIGH NOTE ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????? SHE DIDNT HAVE TO KILL ME LIKE THIS BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH I- and now....... im in the deja vu P L E A S E

gaaaaaaaahhhyeeeeeooonnnn her voice is so pretty!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I WANT MORE!!!!!!!!!! HOWEVER youre the second one to sing with this beautiful gentleness of a part and to be honest this part paired with siyeon starting it really eases you into the song and its quite the blessing to hear thanks- and then yknow this part right after handong........................... Heaven™

SPEAKING OF HANDONG LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE AMOUNT OF LINES SHE HAS MAKES ME WANNA CRY OKAY THIS PART RIGHT HERE............................. PLS.............. (i think its just me but theres a smaller voice singing like right under her voice????) HER PRE-CHORUS PARTS ARE LITERALLY THE BEST PARTS IN THE WHOLE SONG TO LISTEN TO pls believe me when i say this its NOT bc shes my ultimate bias like i genuinely like her parts the most

sua pls i was already prepared for softer vocals and you really gave that to me and then this is absolute perfection they were beautiful and amazing OF COURSE got me feeling like i was floating on actually clouds god TAHNK YOU AND THEN YOU JUST HAD TO HIT ME WITH YOUR PART RIGHT HERE???? i understand its just the chorus but I Felt That™ okay!!!!!!

JIU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i stand by saying how your voice be powerful as hell still even during these lines VERY short but VERY effective and very good leading into the chorus i love- and then your bridge....................... B I C T H really put me in my feelings but i welcome it with EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING and with open arms.......................

YOOHYEON AKA THE OTHER QUEEN OF SINGING CHORUSES I MEAN..................................... I LITERALLY DUNNO WHAT TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE THEIR BEAUTIFUL SOUNDING HER VOICE GOES WELL WITH THEM like i really like the parts she sings after siyeon like................. Y O O F if a feather became a voice-

i need more dami too..................... P L E A S E like obviously with their other songs i was expecting dami to be in the second verse and with a smooth rap section and the former was correct HOWEVER to my pleasant surprise SHE SANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her singing voice suited this SO MUCH and im actually glad there wasnt a rap part at all in this song especially that SECOND PART.................. Heaven™ 2x

my favorite lyrics (x): i know i said handongs were my favorite to listen to but i like these lines dont hurt me

난 이 숨결이 허락되는 날까지 As long as I can breathe 다신 너를 놓을 수 없어 I can’t let go of you again 우린 모든 순간 함께 할 테니 We’ll be together for every moment 내 곁에서 beside me

THE DANCE OKAY IM GONNA DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT ill be referring to THIS PERFORMANCE can we pls talk about how loud the fanchant is im crying and really take it in and all of their talented glory ANYWAY OF COURSE the choreography F UKCING SLAPS just so many different position changes and just alwaYS SO IN SYNC WITH EACH OTHER ITS INSANE ill just list them briefly and keep the points short this is long enough:

THE BEGINNING AND THE END BEING THE SAME...................... CERTAINLY DEJA VU-

SIYEONS TUTTING THING THANKS

handongs majestic spin

this and this with how the formation changes and how their arms swing AND the kick

ALSO in those parts in the last bullet i dunno why but i like that move jiu does when she sings IT HITS

i recall sua spoiling literally the first move of the chorus dance in that vlive THE CHORUS DANCE ALL THOSE FORMATION CHANGES LITERALLY MESS ME UP and THIS most important move in the entire choreography and they line up and its SO COOL to look at

when they lie on each other doing yoohyeons lines

handongs part again when theyre in the line and how satisfying it is to watch

THE ENTIRE BRIDGE

LITERALLY THE ENTIRE DANCE FROM START TO FINISH

QUEENS OF STABILITY

sidenote: can we talk about how handong and dami?????? literally spin during their parts????? and they sounded super clear??????

THE VISUALS SO.......................... if you had asked me two days ago (maybe a little bit of yesterday) about how i felt about this video.................. i wouldve mentioned some unpopular opinions regarding the videos look............ i mentioned to gwen @loonapunk that i wasnt TOO into it............ BUT- after finally sitting down to do this long ass post i dont hate it!!!!!!!!!!!! i think bc i have to remind myself that this song (album???? well song-) is for that kings raid game and all the visuals AND story are based off that????? i dunno BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS I LIKE TO WATCH IT

IM TOO BIG STUPID™ TO COMPREHEND THIS STORYLINE AND COME UP WITH MY OWN THEORIES EVEN NOW AND I WOULD L O V E TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU BUT THIS IS LONG ENOUGH AS IT IS SO ILL REDIRECT YOU TO THEORY POSTS (TWO (2) FROM MY GALAXY BRAIN MOOTS) THAT I LIKED:

@highsomnia NITAS POST WHICH I PERSONALLY FOUND ENJOYABLE TO READ SO IF YOU COULD READ THIS YOU SHOULD ALSO READ THAT

@in-somnias ELENAS POST WHICH WAS ALSO AN INTERESTING READ RIGHT HERE

AND THEN THIS ONE THAT WAS ORIGINALLY FROM TWITTER i dont follow her so im not gonna @

AIIGHT IMMA GO CRAZY WITH THESE SHOTS (with only small one/two sentence captions this is LONG ENOUGH):

BICTH I SAW THIS AND KNEW I WAS GONNA GET GOT™ like its just super duper INCREDIBLY PRETTY TO LOOK AT

THIS WILL BE FOREVER ICONIC™ DONT ARGUE WITH ME

this is what the calm before the storm looks like

went back to the mv film making video and turns out they got slippers on under that table love that for them

how in the hell am i supposed to interpret this exchange

okay longer section i think im supposed to interpret this more as a sister bond than a romantic one?????? i remember being taken aback and believed this to be something gay BUT 99.9% OF INSOMNIAS say its gay subtext so ill just put it like that i dunno but like i just wanna say they have beautiful smiles and im love them!!!

a youtuber reacting to this mv saying it just looks like theyre shading each other.................... anyway-

i CANNOT i repeat I CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU how Shook™ i was when i saw this for the first time i basically jumped out of my chair i couldnt i-

this mv really led me to believe jiu was the evil one.............................

POETIC. CINEMA.

THE WOMAN. THE MYTH. THE LEGEND. THE FIREBENDER. THE WOLF. LEE SIYEON. pls light me up

Symbolism™................ SYMBOLISM I CANNOT COMPREHEND GO TO THE THEORIES

MORE SYMBOLISM GO TO THE THEORIES

T H E M

NOT ONLY IS THIS VIDEO SUPER AESTHETIC™ BUT THE SEVEN (7) MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD BLESSING US ONCE AGAIN WITH THEIR PRESENCE AND ALLOWED THEIR ROYALTY VIBES SHOOT INTO THE MESOSPHERE INTO REAL LIFE KILLING ALL OF US

THE DANCING SCENES WITH THE TEASER OUTFITS...................................... AT EASE.....................

LITERALLY NO COMPLAINTS MOVING ON:

JIU

L I S T E N KIM MINJI YOURE A FULL PRINCESS this pink fluffy dress with the flower crown in this picture............................ i may have cried- like a lot of people were trying this look to persephone and im HERE for that concept for her and like the white outfit AND black outfit is probably super symbolic again im too Big Stupid™ anyway when i saw that black outfit in the teaser........................... i was attacked jiu with a sword is just EVERYTHING i wanted and more

SUA

LITERALLY I CANNOT- her hair being wavy looks SO GOOD on her THIS BLACK DRESS WITH THE FLOWERS she is always a Serve™ WE KNOW THAT but her visuals just HIT DIFFERENT this time lighter colored hair really suits her and then of course she looks FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC in the dance scenes in the white and the black that low pony tail pls

SIYEON

purple on this woman just shoulders and collarbones out being Beautiful™ ALL THE WHILE staying ON BRAND with herself and was wearing pants good for her G O D i just love the way her hair looks in the white and gold outfits like it just LOOKS PRETTY to me i dunno how to describe it also her with a pony tail WHAT ARE YOU SO PRETTY FOR-

HANDONG

i just................... want closer shots of this.................. CLOSER SHOTS IN GENERAL OF HER ACTUALLY like LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL™ SHE LOOKS HERE I WANNA SEE MORE OF IT??????? PLS??????? nothing gets me weaker than her hair being styled exactly like in the picture i just love that her royalty and regal vibes and looks were FINALLY realized and WAS BROUGHT TO THE FOREFRONT

YOOHYEON

THIS MV MUST CONVINCE ME SHE IS EVIL BY SHOWING HER FOREHEAD first of all the first outfit turning her into an Actual Entire Princess™/Queen™ that red one i dont really understand SHE MAKES IT WORK THO THEN THAT BLACK OUTFIT LISTEN yo it was like getting hit by a whole truck full speed i wasnt ready and i just wanna admire that yoohyeon and gray colored hair is an actual match made in heaven i just have to say-

DAMI

i love this suit and the patten on it so much this outfits color (what is that teal????) and her hair color is such a GOOD PAIRING and on her SHE JUST KILLED ME WITH HER SOLO SCENES i wish i had more to say about her and her outfits but what else can i say other than that she is INSANELY ATTRACTIVE AND I WANT HER TO STEP ON ME???????

GAHYEON

she really broke my neck when i saw her the first time LIKE DEADASS LOOK AT THIS PICTURE i had fallen for her and i cannot get up when i saw this outfit in the other shots like the black top and the see through sleeves but her skirt is like different colors she really Served™ in this outfit bangs usually look cute but in her solo parts she was coming for my heart like miss lee gahyeon pls-

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (just short thoughts and point out specific parts i liked lmao)

Intro:

their intros always slap are you kidding me-

The curse of the Spider

i wasnt ready for this bop to slap me in the face on my spotify that chorus didnt have to do that to me THAT GUITAR DIDNT HAVE TO DO THAT TO ME i love the way dami and handong sound in this song i mean wrow-

favorite lyrics (x):

소름이 끼칠 만큼 It’s chilling 도망치고 싶어질 it makes me want to run away 그런 두려움일 테니 such is this fear

Silent Night

B I H C T i knew when i heard this in the highlight it was going to be my favorite one IT REALLY WOKE SOMETHING IN ME these lyrics i cant- gahyeon and handong hurted me with their lower registers Y AL L YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HURTED ME THAT D R O P DID

favorite lyrics (x):

겨눈 칼 끝은 a blade directed at someone 결국 돌아오게 돼 eventually returns 더 다가오지 마 don’t come closer

Polaris

this song is as if i was wrapped in the thickest blanket i got and im resting on the softest bed in the world with a fireplace going nearby and i could finally rest peacefully bc the lord knows i need it- i really cried a little bit listening to this pls leave me be i legit cant pick a specific member i liked the most for this song i just love it and everything it got

favorite lyrics (x):

그게 너라서 행복해 I’m happy that it’s you 그 많은 인연 속에 Among those numerous connections 수많은 사람 중에 Among those numerous people

LIKE im so completely satisfied with every song on this album and im completely in love with it!!!!!!!!!! the only ‘issue’ i really had was with the mv visually but as you read i warmed up to it lmao LIKE IM JUST SO PROUD OF THESE WOMEN AND HOW TALENTED AND HARDWORKING THEY ARE like i have to say the japanese release?????? and this????? being so close to each other????? you telling me they learned TWO (2) different choreographies one after the other???? i absolutely love this album and i desperately desperately DESPERATELY want so much more success for them bc ITS WHAT THEY DESERVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is supposed to be just about the overall mv and deja vu but i might as well just type what i feel lmao

IN CONCLUSION: MY INSOMNIA ASS IS BOTH ALIVE AND DEAD BUT MOSTLY ALIVE I LOVE THIS IM STREAMING

i have to bring this back its relevant again:

#THREE (3) DAYS IN THE MAKING #it took longer bc ive been having the worst stomachaches rn #it probably shows in this post lmao #but anyway Y E A H im love them #LETS GET THIS BREAD #if you read all of this i appreciate you #dreamcatcher #han.txt #han's mv afterthoughts

[writing-realityawayfromreality]

I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretend that they’re you

Requested: Yes 

“I can’t keep doing this Ty. One day you are telling me how much you love me and the next you make it seem like you wish you were, i don’t know... free. For christ sake Ty, you’re 25 and still not ready to settle down. Clearly you can’t make the choice for yourself so i am making it. It’s over Tyson, I’m sorry.”

And with that you left. You didn’t look back because you knew that if you looked back you would had never left. But you couldn’t keep living the way that you were, never feeling good enough for him, always coming in second. 

It has now been two years since that day. You haven’t really kept in touch with Tyson after the breakup. It was too painful to see how happy he was and how sad you were. You kept in touch with some of the guys who you were close to on the team. You go to their games but make sure to leave right away so you have less of a chance running into Tyson. Plus it was a farther drive since you had moved, you had to since you and Tyson shared the apartment but at least your new place is closer to your work.

Tonight you had finally given into your friends and are letting them drag you out to a club. You haven dated once or twice but it was never anything too serious. you didn’t allow it to get to that point. Your friends couldn’t really blame you. You and Tyson had been together for a little over five years. Everyone thought that you two were it, that you were going to get married, start a family and live happily ever after. But life doesn’t work that way, it’s not all fairytales. 

You heard a knock on the door to your apartment, “Come in.” You yelled from your room. It was Vanessa, Mackinnon’s girlfriend (I know they broke up but just for the stories sake) who you had grown really close to over the years. “I thought we were going out tonight?” she questioned. “I thought so?” you questioned back “You aren’t even ready to go yet.” She responded. “Oh, why are we leaving so early?” you asked looking at the clock. “To get there before all the creeps do. Now come on lets go” she said walking out to your living room.

You rolled over getting out of bed and headed to you bathroom. You plugged in your hair curler and got out your makeup. You didn’t want to go too bold so you did a light eyeshadow but a darker color on your lips since they were your best feature. You quickly ran to get changed into your favorite black dress before heading back into the bathroom to curl your hair. Giving yourself a glance over you walked out to the living room where Vanessa was sitting, coming up behind her you could see that she was on Instagram. Looking over her shoulder you saw Tyson’s face. You dropped your shoes that you were holding making Vanessa jump and turn to look at you. “Y/n....” she looked back down at her phone seeing that Tyson’s picture was still on it, she quickly clicked out of instagram. 

“Y/n... It’s been two years...” Vanessa said. “I know. It still hurts, and I haven’t seen him in so long. Maybe I could just peek on his Insta?” You said pulling out your phone and typing in him name. Clicking on his page you saw a whole bunch of pictures with him and different girls. The pictures were probably like two weeks apart and there was always a new girl with some cliche caption, you also noticed how all the girls all looked sightly similar and almost like you. “Y/n, are you okay?” Vanessa asked grabbing your arm slightly. “Yeah, you ready?” You said placing your phone in your purse, bending down to get your shoes on.

You  called an uber to have you guys taken to the club in town. You were honestly so excited because it was your first time out since Tyson. You walked in and headed straight for the bar. This was honestly your favorite club, there wasn’t a whole lot of creeps and the music was always amazing. You got yourself and Vanessa a shot before heading to the dance floor. You and Vanessa were having a great time. That was until you spotted him. Vanessa must had seen him at the same time you did because she pulled you towards the bar. 

“I didn’t know they were going to be here, Nate didn’t tell me...” “Vanessa, it’s okay. lets get a few more drinks and have a good time, yeah?” You said grabbing the bar tenders attention. At least an hour goes by and at this point you have at least three or four mixed drinks in you so you were feeling pretty good right about then. Tyson hadn’t seen you which made your night ten times better. 

Nate had showed up surprising Vanessa, needless to say they went off and did their own thing leaving you alone on the dance floor. There was now a whole lot more people then there was a few hours ago. Even though you had some drinks the buzz was starting to wear off. Heading back to the bar you bumped into a rather large man. Saying your excuse me’s you continued to the bar. After ordering you drink you went to reach for your purse to which it was no longer on your shoulder. feeling a tap on you other shoulder you turned around. “I think you... Y/N!?!?” Tyson said. “Thanks.” you said grabbing you purse, downing your drink, placing the money on the bar and headed for the doors. 

You just couldn’t be around him, not yet. Seeing him there all up on the other girls dancing, buying them drinks. It was just too much. Pulling out your phone you started to call for an Uber. “Y/N,,, can we just talk?” Tyson asked out of breath from clearly running after you. Ignoring him you hear a faint hello on the other end of the line, giving them your address you hung up.” “You moved pretty far huh? Why?” Tyson asked still standing behind you. “It’s none of your business Tyson, now just go back into the bar and forget you even saw me.” “How can I Y/n, you the most beautiful girl here.” “You’re drunk Tyson.” You said walking away. 

“Y/n, just stop. I haven’t seen you for two years and this is how you are going to treat me?” Tyson asked sounding kind of hurt. “Do you think it is easy for me Tyson, I spent five years of my life with you, loving you, supporting you, waiting. You didn’t even act like you wanted to be in a relationship anymore towards the end so I made the right choice for the both of us. I moved because I couldn’t stand to see how happy you were with the other girls after we broke up. And honestly nothing has changed, so go back in there and go hook up with some puck bunnies or something because I’m not coming back.” You said now spotting your uber. 

Before you knew it Tyson grabbed your arm turning you around to face him. “Tyson, what...” Tyson crashed his lips onto yours, it was like fireworks going off inside your head. Even though it had been two years, and even though you had broken up with him didn’t mean that you stopped caring for him, it didn’t mean that you didn’t love him. Pulling away you looked into Tyson’s eyes. you could tell they were sad. “I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretend that they are you. After you broke up with me I tried to find someone to drown out my sadness, all the girls I kept picking just reminded me of you. I didn’t even really like them, I just wanted you Y/n. I tried pretending that they were you and they weren’t. I hoped and prayed i would run into you again. I am so sorry that I wasted five years of your life Y/n. I wish that I could take it back and been the better boyfriend that you needed. That you deserved.” Tyson said now with tears in his eyes. “Y/n, please, I need you. I’m 27 now and I’m tired of playing these games. I love you.” 

“Ty... I... i need some time to think.” You said before getting into your uber. You were heading back to your place, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Tyson had said. Maybe he has changed. Maybe he is finally ready to settle down. Before you knew it you gave the uber driver your old address. You hoped that Tyson had gone home by this point. Pulling up to the old apartment building you got out. Taking a big breath you headed up to Tyson’s apartment. 

Knocking on the door you head footsteps. The door opened revealing a puffy eyed Tyson. “I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretend that they are you either.” You said making Tyson smile. “This is your one and only chance Tyson Barrie. You better not waste another five years of my life.” You said kissing Tyson. 

#tyson barrie #colorado avalanche #hockey imagines #requests are open #requested #thoughts?

[n-lauryn]

My history and growing love with Emarosa

I’ve made a few posts on Instagram about this band, but there’s only so much that I can actually write in a caption, and it never seemed to do justice (maybe a full blog post won’t either because I’ve been shit with words recently, but it’s worth a try).

I’ve been a fan of Emarosa since 2014. I’ve always known them since Bradley has been in the band, when their album Versus was just coming out. I was 15, and my boyfriend at the time was a little older and could drive, so he was always the one in charge of the music. At the time I think I was almost exclusively listening to Mayday Parade and the other bands along that line -- I was not one to get out of my comfort zone and I’m still one to forget the groups/bands that my friends recommend me. So, when Versus came out he was absolutely stoked. He downloaded it and we listened to it on long drives. He lived about half an hour away, so if we ever went to his house, or anywhere around where he lived, it was just enough time to listen to the whole Emarosa album. I was hesitant at first, but I loved it. He’d show me other music, but I’d ask him to put on Emarosa. Sianvar? Later. Chon? Later. I want to listen to Versus.

The breakup with this person was very toxic and volatile. Something I will not go into detail (not the point of this post, and despite the breakup, I still have respect for him), but to put into perspective, there are many things that I stopped doing, places I stopped going due to association. I do not go to his hometown, I don’t go to diners he and I went together, I just removed anything that would make me think of him, and in turn, make me sad. There was a bit of a lull where I didn’t listen to much music, but I remember eventually I wondered what Emarosa was up to, and I saw that 131 was out. And hoo, if I thought that I liked Versus, 131 was a different story. There was not a single song on this album that I did not like, and I could tell you within the first 15-30 seconds which song it was. There was something reignited, some sort of drive and love I forgot that I had. Which some people will think is stupid -- it’s just a band -- but they meant so much to me. This was one thing my ex-boyfriend didn’t take from me, and it made me feel so liberated and powerful. Free, individual. The love for this band was created from him, but was now mine.

Emarosa came around my hometown in 2017, at a venue about an hour away. A friend of mine, Alex, who knew I loved them, went with me and I paid for VIP tickets for the both of us. She didn’t know anything about them or their music, and was essentially going so she could transport me, but she’s been my concert company for years and she knew that this one was especially important to me. This was my opportunity to meet the group, see the faces of the people who helped me find my individuality. Who saved my life, after one of the worst relationships of my life. Funny enough, my friend and I ended up being the only two with VIP. The girl who hosted the VIP, Becca White, was the sweetest (I still remember you and follow you, girl. I wish I’d thanked you in the moment for dealing with my nervous self). She walked us to the downstairs hall, where the guys were hanging out. I’m almost embarrassed, but I don’t think I’d seen or registered their faces before. They came up and hugged us, and I just remember being frozen in place with this stupid shit-eating grin on my face. They were so friendly, so lovely. They asked how we knew about them (Alex was honest and said she was just the transportation, and that’ll come into place later), and I made a joke about how I learned about them through a boyfriend, dumped the boyfriend but couldn’t dump the band. I don’t remember much, mostly because I was starstruck, had so much to say but didn’t want to be overwhelming. Part of the VIP experience was an acoustic song, and the one thing I remember is requesting an older song that was one of their lesser known ones, and they apologized because they couldn’t play it, so they played Sure (still a banger and also jokes on 18 year old me for being an edgy indie bitch who exclusively liked and requested a lesser known song on a 3-year old album). I sat there and quietly sang and harmonized along with the biggest smile on my face -- which I will say, was one of the most awkward things ever. It’s so much easier to sing when you’re drowned out, but when you’re face to face with people you’ve idolized for years, singing alone made me freeze in place. But it truly was one of those moments where you realize the people you idolize are just people (and fortunately enough in this situation, good people -- which is hard in the music scene nowadays).

The biggest thing that struck me wasn’t even the VIP part. It was after the show. I got to meet their drummer Brent and touring bassist Robert (which is now their permanent bassist, which makes me so happy), and Brent gave me one of his drumsticks after noticing me in the front. But like I’d said previously, Alex had never listened to Emarosa before, she actually didn’t know any of the people who were playing this show, and went solely for the sake of me. Alex is also not the most expressive woman, so while we were both in the front near the speakers and I was dancing/singing to every song, she was stood there with her arms crossed. We stopped by to say hi to the members of the other bands, and say hi again to Bradley, who immediately recognized us. He asked Alex if she had a good time, and if she was alright, because she was so stone faced. He gave her a big hug after she promised she enjoyed herself and would listen to more of their music when we got home. He was genuinely concerned with her time there, which I wouldn’t have expected from someone who has so many fans. But they actually care, which I think about and bring up to this friend regularly with Alex (even 2 years later).

As I’m writing this, Peach Club is coming out soon and they’ve released three singles that have all been absolute bangers. This band has released nothing but amazing music for years, all while being genuinely good people. I have such an appreciation for them, and wanted to express it somehow. 

#Emarosa #Music #Pop Punk #Post Hardcore #Soft Rock #Mom Rock #Bradley Walden #Peach Club #131 #Versus

[paulaxfernandez]

Did this illustration a couple days ago. Had to make a new drawing to share more music in my instagram highlighs and had it organized. As those who follow me there know by now I share lots of it. Ever since I have memory I listened to music. My mom told me before that when she was pregnant she used to put earphones and her walkman in her stomach and i would calm down. When I was born the same happened, I calmed down with music. Growing up I couldnt sleep if I didn't had music, at first I used to left the radio on or a CD. Later on mp3 players came out and I didn't go anywhere without it. The hardest was the way to school or later on the way to college. I get pretty anxious with noises or larger crowds. The bus is one of these place that make me feel extremely anxious so listening to music and focus on that is very helpful. I am so grateful music exist. Like, I know I have said it many times but I genuinely mean it. It's a safe place. A beautiful and incredibly inspiring place. You are heard, given a voice, comfort, understanding, distraction, fun, anything. Music is such a beautiful and unique form of art. I don't listen to only one genre. I listen to what feels right in the moment. I think stereotypes and being tagged in boxes and trying to "look cool" by only listening or showing you listen only certain things can be hurtful to oneself. (I'm not saying everyone who has genuinely one genre they only listen to is the same) I speak for me. As a teen I used to try to fit in so hard, so my point is just be yourself. Do and listen to what makes you feel good, feel okay, happy, sad, whatever. Be honest with yourself. ♡ I think it would be right to finish this long caption recommending a song, I have been listening to this one for a couple weeks now "Why Am I Like This?" By The Word Alive. It's stuck in my head (and i don't mind though).

#illustration #art #drawing #mixed media #watercolor #dibujo #arte #ilustracion #self portrait #self #acuarelas #mixed media drawing

[catboythanatos]

so... cecilos. i literally had to stop listening to wtnv last night because i couldnt focus on anything else, i was so emotional, i just want carlos and cecil to reunite so badly. their relationship is one of the most genuine and heartfelt things ever. its so amazing. so i stopped listening and i wrote this completely cathartic thing, i just started writing and didnt stop until it was past 4am. its been a long time since ive just written something with no plan just straight from emotional overload, so it was kinda nice. i like how it turned out.

i’m only up to episode 56 so later canon might contradict something in this but idgaf honestly this is some sweet and heartfelt cecilos from the middle of the night. enjoy

Cecil awakes in the desert. There is sand all around him, warm and course against his skin. He isn't sure how he ended up here, having no memory of coming here, but he's woken up in weirder places in the past. He is used to deserts, but this desert is not his own. He can feel it. Something in the air is completely different here.

He rises, brushing the sand off of himself as best as he can, and has a look at his surroundings. There is just desert, as far as he can see. Sand wastes strewn with sad, tiny shrubs and the strangest cacti he has ever seen. There is also a distant, looming shape -- almost mountain-like in size and appearance, however, it's difficult to say what it could actually be. He decides to start his journey towards that shape, drawn to it for reasons he cannot explain. He treks for quite a long time.

As the mountain-like mass gets closer, he sees that there is a light, blinking high upon it. It is red. Blinking lights are always red. The colour evokes an emotion within him. He recognizes it. He knows where he must be. His toes tingle with excitement underneath his sand-covered shoes. There is someone here he is longing to see.

As he continues moving forward, his steps become rapid, and his breaths become strained. He is running now, defying gravity, floating now, flying at maximum speeds. He watches the vast desert pass beneath him, dry and lifeless.

Before he even knows it, Cecil is floating up to a lighthouse. His feet find their way to solid ground, and it is his heart that starts to float next. Leap, perhaps, would be a better word. He can feel his throat tightening as he meets the eyes of the white-coated man standing before him, blinking in awe and confusion.

“Cecil?”

“Carlos?”

“Cecil!”

Carlos throws himself into Cecil’s arms, laughing a joyous laugh that's riddled with secret tears and longing.

“I missed you,” says Carlos, smiling into Cecil’s chest.

“I missed you, too.” Cecil holds Carlos tightly. “Don't scare me like that. I thought you'd be gone forever. I respect your research, and your acts of valiant heroism, but… I just wanted you to come home, Carlos. I've missed you so much.”

“Gosh, Cecil, I… I’m sorry. I missed you, too, more than you could ever even know. I watched you sometimes. I watched you through the photographs in the lighthouse. I saw you frowning, grimacing, whispering for me in the dead of night. I wanted to tell you that I love you, but I didn't want you to be freaked out over me watching you… It sounds silly now, but…”

“That's okay, I understand. Forget all that, Carlos, just… Shut up and kiss me, please,” Cecil begs, not caring about anything right now. What's past is past, what's now is now. It doesn’t matter how many lonely nights he spent longing anymore, because those days will be over now. Carlos is home! Well, Cecil is trapped in this desert otherworld with him. So neither of them are home home, but they're at home with each other.

Kissing Carlos is home. Running his fingers through Carlos’ thick, wavy hair is home. Carlos’ hands cupping his waist, his hand cupping Carlos’ delicate cheek, is home. Carlos and him, kissing, rolling in the sand, laughing, breathless, giggling, touching, being… Home is Carlos. Cecil cares about nothing else anymore in this moment. He loves Night Vale, but he would honestly leave it all behind if it meant Carlos’ sandy, unwashed hair falling into his face, and the feeling of his back pressed against the gentle roll of a sand dune, and callused hands of a scientist stroking his face, as he’s propped up on one elbow above him, staring down at him, eyes filled with love behind dusty, smudged glasses.

Cecil’s mouth had fallen agape, but his eyes were smiling. Carlos’ eyes smiled, too. His perfect lips grinned. He kissed his boyfriend again, laughing bubbly and brightly. Cecil’s heart tightens, filled to the brim with love and adoration. Carlos’ laugh was perfect. His mouth was perfect, his eyes were perfect, his hair, perfect. All was perfect. Carlos was his yet again. He never wanted this moment to end.

But then, just as soon as it had began, it ends.

Cecil awakens, once again. This time, he is in his own bed. This time, alone.

“Oh,” he says simply. “Oh.”

A small, weak whimper slides past his lips.

“Oh, Carlos,” he whispers, as he often does, helplessly into the still of the night. “Oh, Carlos…”

He stares up at the ceiling above him. He clutches at the pillow beside him, empty, devoid of any luscious presence; of any stray perfect hairs to tickle his neck as he shifts under the covers in the night. He sighs.

He sits up on the edge of the bed. The red light from his phone charging on the bedside table creates the only light in the room. It blinks. For a moment, he knows that Carlos would probably be awake right now, being, of course, in a desert otherworld where time is completely different from here at home, but he doesn't think he would understand. Deep down, Cecil knows that Carlos would understand because Carlos loves him, and misses him, and cares about him deeply, but … everything seems so complicated right now. He could call, text, or email him right now, and possibly get an immediate response, but for some reason, he doesn’t.

“I miss you,” he sighs hopelessly instead, as if there might be someone around to hear. There is no one around to hear.

Cecil flops himself back down on his bed, exhaling, long and dramatic. He tries to return himself to the dull lull of sleep. His heart aches so painfully that it is hard to even imagine that Carlos is alive and well and just a click of a button away.

He quietly watches the blinking light on his phone blink for a while, before it dawns on him that blinking signifies a notification. A solid red light is for charging, and a blinking light means something else is happening. He wants to think that different colours of the blinking lights should signify something, but he knows that that's ridiculous, since blinking lights are always red.

He reaches over and collects his phone from the bedside table, and is surprised, not unpleasantly, to see the notification on the screen. It is a Snapchat from Carlos.

The photo is of the night sky. There are specks of stars, and other strange shapes and lights, all along a backdrop of a dark velvety purple. It's obviously hard to capture something like the sky in just a cell phone camera, but it looks remarkably familiar. The caption reads: “How’s my favourite radio host doing tonight?”

There is a subsequent Snap reading “Is it night there?” And another saying “I don't mean to wake you up or anything, if it is. But the sky reminded me of home, and of you.”

Cecil’s chest tightens. The messages are sweet, but he wants Carlos to be here, with him, right now! He can't take one more minute of this treacherous absence.

He half-heartedly lifts his phone above him to snap a photo, in which he is pouting, barely visible in the darkness, one cheek pressed against the pillow.

He types various iterations of whiny ‘I miss you’s and needy demands before backspacing and starting over from the beginning, chewing his lip in frustration and thought.

“Missing my favourite scientist tonight,” he captions it eventually, hitting send in a haste before he can think too deeply about any of it.

It takes less than a minute for Carlos to reply. He has switched to the inside camera of his phone, where he has a sympathetic, but genuine, sad smile.

“I miss you,” it reads.

Cecil has trouble breathing suddenly. He wants Carlos home. He needs Carlos home. It has been days, maybe even a week, since he has even heard Carlos’ voice, and his heart is screaming with longing. If he is free to send photos, maybe he will be free to call…

Cecil brings the phone up to his ear, and the first ring feels like it lasts a century. But a mere millisecond into the second, Carlos picks up.

“Cecil?”

“Carlos,” Cecil breathes, trembling.

“Cecil? Are you feeling alright?”

“It is so good to hear your voice. I’m-- yes, I'm fine, Carlos, I… I just… miss you. I miss you so, so much.”

“Oh, Cecil,” Carlos sighs a beautiful sigh. “I miss you, too.”

“You need to come home now, Carlos.”

“I understand, Cecil. But you know it's not as simple as that.”

Cecil wants to be mad, he wants to scream, he wants to yell at his beloved Carlos, to come home, come home right this instant, I need you to be home, but… he does know.

“I… I know,” he sighs eventually.

“You know I miss you, too,” says Carlos. His voice is genuine, but it just makes Cecil sad.

“I know,” he mumbles.

“Go look at the stars, Cecil.”

“The stars?”

“The stars. Just pull back your curtain and look at them, just for a moment.”

Cecil rises, and walks over to the bedroom window. He does as Carlos asks. The sky is velvet purple with flickers of stars and other distant shapes and lights. “I… am looking at them now. Is there some kind of special surprise here I’m supposed to see?”

“There's not really a special surprise, no. I’ve not found a way back home just yet. I’ve just been looking at the sky a lot recently, and I wanted to share it with you.”

Come to think if it… The sky in Carlos’ picture did look very similar to the sky here in Night Vale. The sky probably looks similar no matter where you go. It is so vast, and everything else is so tiny, so insignificant.

“No matter where we are in the world, there's always a beautiful sky to look at. And if we do it at the same time… it's almost like we’re together.”

Tears prick the corners of Cecil’s eyes. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I really do miss home, Cecil. And I miss you. I guess in a way, you are my home.”

“Have you been dreaming of me at all?” Cecil asks suddenly, recalling the powerful sentiment of his dream.

“I… no, why?”

“Oh. I've dreamt of you a lot. I keep dreaming I'll wake up next to you, or that I’m out in your desert, with you… together. But it's not real... None of it is real. You're never going to be home, are you?”

Cecil’s voice is breaking, and Carlos’ heart feels like it's breaking, too. “Oh, Cecil… Cecil. Baby. Don’t say that…”

Cecil softens considerably at the pet name. Carlos has never called him one before. It's gentle. But there are still tears welling in the corners of his eyes, threatening, dangerous, ready to spill down his face at any moment. “It’s--it’s been forever, Carlos.”

“Oh, honey,” Carlos coos again. “Oh, Cecil. I'll be home soon. I promised. A scientist always keeps their promises. I'm sorry if I've been … distant, recently. I'm sorry if I've made you feel left out with my scientific interest in this world. I haven't exactly been trying very hard to get home to you. It’s not that I don't want to come home for you, it's just that it's so very strange here… So very compelling. You understand, right?”

“Not really, no,” Cecil admits finally. “I don't understand. The most compelling thing to me … is you! I just want you here, I just want… you,” he huffs.

Carlos is silent for a long, long moment.

“I didn't realize that was how you felt, Cecil… Gosh, I… I am so sorry. I've been a real jerk.”

“No, Carlos,” Cecil sighs. “You aren't a jerk. I mean, I was kind of mad at you when you called that community more interesting than my community, but you aren't a bad person… Okay, I was really mad. Is that vague, possibly nonexistent desert even really a community? I disagree with that terminology. And I disagree with your opinion on their ‘scientific interest’. But… that's… okay! You didn't mean any of that. You--you always mean well! I just need you to understand how much I miss you, Carlos. I want you here ... with me! And I want you to feel the same way I do.”

“I understand, Cecil. I completely and actually understand this time. Ugh, you just wanted to be together and I brushed you away to gush about some silly science stuff. I am so sorry! I wish I could be home right now. I'm sorry I haven't been looking for doors home. I will seriously get on that tomorrow, seriously. I- I should have been doing that already. God, I’m sorry. I want to be home. I do feel the same way. I've missed… Oh, oh dear... We've spent our anniversary apart, Cecil, haven’t we. How can I make it up to you?”

“It's okay, Carlos. Sometimes we get invested in things, and forget to care about other things. I forgive you.”

“Really?”

Cecil is still mad, but he isn't lying when he says he forgives Carlos. It's not his fault that he's trapped in that other dimension, and he won't be able to be home instantly no matter how hard he is willing to try. He is definitely mad about the anniversary, but he doesn't see any use in bringing that up right now. Carlos truly feels sorry. The feelings of anger will pass. “Yes. I love you.” Cecil bites his lip, hovering delicately over the next set of words. “And … I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry for making you feel guilty about being interested in that other desert. I'm sorry for being jealous. I just want you home. I’m sorry if that’s selfish of me, but... It's been a really long time now and I just… I want to kiss you again. I want to hold you again.”

“I love you, too, Cecil. And it's okay to be jealous. It's okay to be mad. It's okay to be… anything you ever are. I love you no matter what.”

Cecil smiles, wiping up some of his spilling tears with the sleeve of his nightshirt.

“Now, Cecil?” Carlos is saying. His voice is like soft silk, a delicate, private whisper into Cecil’s ear, smooth; seductive; perfect.

“Yes, Carlos?”

“Tell me about your dream. I want to hear what fantastical truths your subconscious makes up about me when I’m not around.”

In another time, in another place, Carlos the scientist is lying down in the cool sand, unwashed sandy hair falling into his face as he stares up at a velvety, purple sky. His one hand rests on his knee, the other clutches dearly to a cell phone at his ear. The desert, vast and all-knowing, spans out wide and far in all directions around him. He pays no mind to this. His full focus and attention is on the smooth baritone voice drawling into his ear. He pictures the images from Cecil’s fantasy with awe, and a vague twinge of melancholy. He smiles, delighted, showing off teeth that are like a military cemetery.

Back home, in the other time and place, Cecil Palmer is yawning. His cheeks are decorated with a deep blush as he rambles embarrassing and personal stories into the distant ear of one that he loves. They talk until the latest hours of the night; until sunlight starts to stream in through the curtains of Cecil's window, too happy and too afraid to let the other hang up.

#cecilos #welcome to night vale #wtnv #cecil palmer #my writing #carlos the scientist #hurt/comfort #wtnv fanfic #i love carlos so fucking much i love these two a lot #i had so many feelings last night #ive never written these two before #not even when i was into this when it was new when i was 13 #so this was maybe a long time coming #idk if people even read wtnv fic on here these days this is a shot in the dark

[bangzchan]

nah she was just pretending to write in chinese by writing ching chong somethin somethin

Anonymous said:It was a drawing of a man eating with Japanese writing on the side. And Lea the racist wrote in the caption ‘ching chong’. That’s a derogatory term used to mock Chinese people. There was nothing vague about it. Quite frankly if you don’t find it racist then you’re part of the problem.

oh alright ,didnt know that. yikes.. i thought it was just about her translating smth incorrectly

Anonymous said:I don’t hate Lea, it’s just that she has a weird vibe. I don’t know how to explain it, they as a couple are strange. On the other hand I see the relationship of Maiken and Cengiz, they transmit a completely different energy, it’s nice to see them and it makes me very happy that they are together. I don’t know if it’s me but for me is very cringy when I see Lea 🤷🏻‍♀(sorry my english)

ur english is fine! i dont really know anythin about cengiz and maiken’s energy,dont even know what to think about henrik and lea’s tbh klsjdf but like i understand if one of them is more what you find better to follow/look at

Anonymous said:The Chinese thing was her literally uploading a pic of someone eating noodles and the caption was Ching Chong soo.. it was on her public Facebook post and it was from a few years back she was probably 13😬 soo Yes is wrong but she was an actual child living in one of the whitest countries in the world so unless she does something like that now I think people should move on and stop minding her Also I know this because back when those hate accounts happened they uploaded this and I was curious 

i mean if she doesnt see it even now that it was a bad thing to do then like…doesnt excuse her where shes from and all.. im not a fan of ppl bringing up something from years ago though especially when they were around that young age, bc we’ve all done smth we now know was unaccaptable, im not trying to justify anything or whatever i just think we used to be put out to lots of things that were so yikes now that you think back to it (and even now but now youve got more of an opportunity to look things up and everything?) like maybe a movie you used to find funny now you watch again and its so cringy, the humour is just racist/sexist/homophobic lines but no one said anything about it and its sad bc it shows how you were brought up and how your parents/relatives and other ppl around you didnt “teach” you what is supposed to be common sense..you know what i mean? its just very frustrating 

Anonymous said:Lol Lea posted a pic of herself kissing Henrik and wrote the caption as “congratulations for the gullruten award henrik and tarjei” like wHeRe’s TaRjEi and wHaT dOeS tHiS pIcTuRe hAvE tO dO wItH their gullruten award lmao. She’s just 1 insecure little girl who cant stay quiet without shoving in peoples face that shes with Henrik when He’s out there MAKING OUT with TARJEI on LIVE TV. Honestly why is she evn with Him if shes so insecure&doesnt trust him. She doesnt have to prove herself to d world

I meant.. Henrik clearly flirts with everyone.. its kinda his nature. But he isnt cheating on her (i hope so) and she should stop being so paranoid and try to prove herself to the world that Henrik is still hers. And honestly… if shes that scared.. why is she with him.. this all becomes Eva’s storyline here.

Most of the time Lea did that whenever someone talked about henjei and that it was real. And if peoples hate comments bothers her so much. theres something called turning off the comment section and putting your account on private. She only wants the attention. Theres a big chance she started dating him for the fame but then fell for him later.

im sorry, im not tryin to defend lea and honestly i couldnt care less about their relationship but its been bugging me…… just because she posts pics of herself with her boyfriend doesnt mean shes insecure in their relationship or that she doesnt trust him.. could be, but neither me or you know that and almost everyone in a relationship posts lots of pictures of themselves like theres nothing unusual about it?? also they were together/going out way before s3 got big so like ..she was proud of her boyfriend so she decided to post a pic of them, congratulating.. also the “clearly flirts with everyone” its called being nice and friendly to ppl? and no offense but instead of telling her to go private or turn off comments, maybe ppl should stop commenting hate about how shes ~using henrik when we dont know anything..do yall realize its not your relationship/life and that you dont know more than what they share? theyre both adults they can decide who they want to hang out with and if its good or not

#ok now we can move on from her/them also sjfdvkvb #ask

[donghans-moved]

i think you should totally just write a love letter for donghan... can that be my ask? - 🍥 anon

i think it will be a bit too embarrassing to write a love letter so i shall just write whatever comes to my mind!

the first time i saw donghan, i think it was on twt where people were still speculating who is gonna be on the show and stuff (and i was curious because some of the people they said were people i was very interested in) and i saw a photo of him~ when i saw him i was like wooooOOOO he’s a beaut! my two other friends and i were looking up the people we saw and i think i found his instagram and just absentmindedly follow him? because i remember later on my friend sent me his ig and i was already following him and i didn’t know him before that so... yeah thats the only how i saw it lol (he was the first pd101 boy i followed on ig! i followed him when he was at like 10k followers heh kenta was second~) on the things i aw on twt about him i saw that he was a part of busking group D.O.B so i just searched for their videos to peep them but i ended up watching all the donghan focused fancams from this fansite because ??? idk lol they danced really well and i was there for donghan so naturally i watched his fancams and he was a great dancer so i just watched all the videos swdeswdeanywho! the one video i remember looking at on his ig and thinking “yes this is the one i shall stan” (i think i even said it to my gc lmao) was the video with the chicken filter that he deleted now :( BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS OLDER TBH donghan did not look like he was a 98 liner i thought he’d be like 96 or 95? so when his profile was released i was very shocked he was a 98 liner lmao when the naya na video was released i was scared that he wasnt gonna get screentime on the show because i didnt see him much in that video but the first ep came out and he got decent enough screentime? i was excited but of course lmao mnet doesnt like happiness and he was barely seen for the rest of the eps after that until the like last one or two before he was eliminated. i remember in episode one when he was talking to ong i was like damn donghan probably gonna be up that guys ass (little did i know that i was wrong lmao) but also after episode one (or was it two?) a lot of g/g stans were hating on donghan and saying theyre gonna anti him because of something he said and i will never not be angry about this and how rude they were to him about something as stupid as this. you know what he said? donghan said that he likes the boys visuals more than the girls visuals. yes, he got a lot of hate for saying that lmao i remember some i/o/i stans made threads with their caption as something dumb like “since that ugly pd101 boy thinks that i/o/i are ugly heres a thread on blah blah blah” like he didnt say he was ugly he said he liked the male visuals more. it just really bothered me that because he, a as guy, said that he liked the guys looks more, people were hating on him because ?? he should only think girls are pretty?? he didnt say anything to condescend the girls he didnt call them ugly or anything like those stans were implying but yet still they called him a crackhead, ugly, stupid, said they hate him, would anti him an all those things because he said he think the boys are more attractive. idk where im going from this lol but i really love and adore donghan! everytime hes clingy and affectionate to the members it just makes me feel so... happy? i personally am not that touchy with people so i see it as someone who is really comfortable and adore those around them so it warms my heart to see donghan so comfortable with the other members. even with D.O.B’s leader he was really clingy with him and i think thats what really brought me in man, i lOVE seeing it makes me so happy to know he has people he feels comfortable to be around. when he made it into the 35th position i was so thankful but when he said that he was thankful to be given the chance because he ‘didn’t want to leave the hyungs and friends he made’ on the show it really made my heart feel heavy because he barely made it into the top 35 and i saw how fans were acting to get their faves to debut i just had a strong feeling he wasnt going to make it ESPECIALLY because he has a lot of overseas fans in japan and china but they couldn’t vote for him because intl fans couldnt vote. when he was eliminated i didnt cry at first cause i kinda expected it (dummy head went and liked a photo on ig before the eliminations was aired) but after a while i was thinking about what would happen to him, if he would debut because i didnt know of any other trainees besides the ones on the show but sungwook changed paths to a model so i only knew him and daehyeon and i didnt know if oui had more trainees? so i was like, how much longer would it take for them to debut? would he have a successful debut? then on arirang radio with him a daehyeon he said that they were planning to debut early next year and i had hope for that (not really JBJ at the time like idk JBJ was so much of a dream come true i didn’t think it was possible lol it was too good to be true) but then he debuted in JBJ and im seeing so many people love and support him and im so happy for that like thats all i wanted lol i just wanted him to be supported on pd101 which he did get! but it was like, people didnt stan him you feel? they knew of him and liked his dancing and thought he was handsome but they didnt really give him actual support? i hope that doesnt make me sound ungrateful for the support he did get because i am so ever greatful!! but im even more grateful to see him being loved and appreciated while he is actually living his dream! i love donghan soooooo much he means the world to me and i would hate to see him sad so im sooo ever grateful people gave him the chance to be in JBJ with the members who care for him! at one point i felt a lil sad that i couldnt do anything for him like during pd101, i couldnt go out and put up banners, i couldnt give out flyers, i dont even live in korea and i cant even speak korean i felt like i couldnt do muh to help him and it made me feel like a bad fan lmao but i did get a few anons talking to me about how much they love him and that i got them into donghan and it made me feel soooo happy that i couldve given him just that little much~ i love love love donghan i want nothing but the best for him and if i ever could meet him.... i dont even know what id do lmao id love to tell him how proud i am of him and that im so glad hes gotten to where he is now but id also like to tell him that i loooooove him and would gladly die for him and even be his wife if he asked heh ;)

#THIS IS SO LONG IM SO SORRY LMAOOOOOOOOOOO #me being a whole loser #long post #text heavy #i hope all of this made sense hahaha #Anonymous

[othercat2]

fic: two for mirth 36/?

[terminusgladiates.bubblr-fatima.com/chrono]

anonymous asks terminusgladiates: All you are is a creepy brainwashed freak. There are people still recovering from horrific abuse at the hands of Trolls and here you are talking about how slavery isn’t that bad.

nope

pretty sure i never said that looking through all my posts so far and i am pretty sure i never said that

what i did say was that i was pretty lucky after a pretty bad time

more lucky than i think i deserve sometimes when someone else had it worse

(doctor lalonde is at my shoulder right now saying how it’s not a competition about how worse someone else had it)

and if you are saying im brainwashed dont that mean i too am recovering from horrific abuse

because brainwashing = horrific abuse

do you have an ideal template of how an abuse victim is supposed to act that i could follow

im serious here how can i behave in a way you want me too brosis so ill meet your standards

[translator: John Egbert]

calamitycats asks terminusgladiates: Bearing in mind you might not be able to answer. Does anyone decide what you’re going to say?

eh yes and no i pretty much started posting/uploading on my own

wanted to get the ball rolling early before the tabloids did about the capital r relationship

i may have gotten in a tiny amount of trouble with the ambassador

the emissary didnt care though and the actual team handling the press didnt have a problem with it

the emissary reads over my shoulder sometimes and critiques my writing

doctor lalonde occasionally suggests better language

and theres egbert who mostly translates

the only post so far that was nixed was a poll for the other half of the emissarys title

i am not allowed to crowdsource sobriquets

srsly though Loudyell would be the best name

[translator: John Egbert]

Edit to add:

[Note from Emissary: NO IT WOULDN’T STOP TRYING TO MAKE LOUDYELL HAPPEN]

golgothasterror asks: You’re spot on chum! No one person processes what happened to them in the same way. Your anonymous unfriend had no right to speak to you so!

understood gt

anonymous hate is pretty puzzling to me though

its not like id challenge them to a duel

it would make the emissary sad

(it would possibly also make him sad if i talked about how damn cowardly it is so i won’t talk about how damn cowardly it is)

also i think dueling is illegal

challenge them to a bar fight maybe

nothing to see hear officers just a random bar fight

nothing prearranged or anything

[translator: John Egbert]

golgothasterror replies: Ha! I wouldn’t mind a *friendly* bout with you! There was always a bit of rough and tumble with some bets on the side when I was a sprog on AGRI-Station 612413!

i would totally take you up on that bro ive mostly been sparring with master whose no slouch but its been a while since i fought someone taller than me or fought fistkind.  

[translator: John Egbert]

terminusgladiates posted:

[Image: Author Karkat Vantas looking up at the camera and glaring blearily over his breakfast bowl. His hair is a rumpled mess and he’s wearing a fuzzy gray bath robe. ]

caption: before

[Image: Author Karkat Vantas, glaring at the camera while wearing a suit and tie. His hair has not noticeably changed from the previous picture.]

caption: after

heres master off to get his daily scheduled lecturing in as you can see no comb has ever defiled his hair

its a tragic situation here

im accepting donations for the buy my master a comb fund

Edit to add:

[Note from Emissary: STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT MY HAIR DAVE COMPLAINING ABOUT MY HAIR IS NEVER FUNNY.]

ill stop complaining when you actually comb your hair master

[translator: John Egbert]

anonymous asks terminusgladiates: What do you like about dancing? Do you think you might make it a career?

mostly its fun and good exercise i always liked tumbling which was something i got lessons in because being fast and flexible were kind of a requirement when it became pretty clear i wasn’t going to suddenly shoot up a half meter or anything

it became a more invested interest after i started talking with professional quadrant facilitators a few of whom became interested in me and started critiquing my first few dance vids if im doing something i like to be really, really good at it so i started practicing more and adding it to my usual exercise routine or just to get the extra energy out

(maybe a little because im an exhibitionist and masters martyred pining thing was funny)

i dont think it will be a career career i had too late of a start its just going to be one more thing i have up on my trolltube account

[translator: John Egbert]

anonymous asks terminusgladiates: how many trolls have you killed? Do you like killing trolls? Have you ever killed another human?

its not like i have notches on my belt or something citizen

maybe something like a fifty probably more than that

not all fights are to the death unless youre talking execution duels

whether or not you like killing trolls is not exactly something you talk about lest you attract the wrong kind of fan such is the gladiatorial wisdoms that were passed down to me by a veteran gladiator owned by master paysun terhun

yes and that’s pretty much all im gonna say about it except that he was a pirate and im more than happy to kill pirates troll human or denbakian

[translator: John Egbert]

tinymonstergirl asks terminusgladiates: I saw you on Josh Miller last night. You and the Emissary were really funny! (Somehow I didn’t expect that to be a thing?) I was just wondering you were both referring to being owned by the Emissary as a relationship. Do you really think of it that way?

relationship doesnt have to mean a romantic relationship i mean you can call the interactions between a parent and their kid a relationship and you can call interactions between you and your employer a relationship therefore you can call being a concubine to a guy who never wanted one a relationship

and he really really didnt want one in his own words he decided to treat me like a combination of a guest and someones lusus he was taking care of a real hands off approach while trying to be as accommodating and entertaining as possible

it did not go so well my friend it did not go so well at all

later on he realizes he wants to be friends with me and he couldnt let himself do that and later on after that he decides he wants to court my fine self

not an easy thing to do considering he didnt want me to be a concubine since i sure didnt want to be a concubine

(not of course that I have any disrespect for sex workers i am in awe of their mad skills holy shit the things i learned in training and while talking with courtesans at various parties temeri i salute you in all your concupiscences where ever you are i mean hot damn)

and neither of us knew master makara had multiple reasons for setting us up the way he did

so things were strained for a while

but i like talking to him and hes cute and he stays up with me when im having a bad time and hes i have no way to put this that isnt embarrassing as fuck

just bear with me because its embarrassing

nope still got to wait for it

okay fuck

hes kind

just genuinely stupidly concerned about making sure everything is okay and giving me as much space as i need and sweet in really unexpected ways

[translator: John Egbert]

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#homestuck #davekat #fan fic #gladiatorstuck