#day 16 Neighbour/Desire/Horse

[workingdownthewordmine]

Love Thy Neighbour - Chapter 1 Behind Closed Doors

Set adrift by his own choosing, Bucky goes home to the abandoned apartment he grew up in, but perhaps it isn't as abandoned as he first thought.

Read it on AO3 here.

Chapter 2

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes Rating: T CW: blood, threat Prompts filled: Fandom-Free Bingo Frosty Edition (card 1): Cuddling to stay warm @fandom-free-bingo Fandom-Free Bingo Flight Edition: Anonymous gifts Fluffbruary: Day 2 - Scent, Day 16 - Neighbour @fluffbruary Seasonal Delights Language of Flowers: Calla lily @seasonaldelightsbingo Multifandom-Flash Round 1: A scar to remember @multifandom-flash

Dividers by @cafekitsune

“The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.” 

G.K. Chesterton 

Bucky came and went via the fire escape that he’d carefully mangled on his second night back there, a relic of his childhood now inaccessible to anyone who couldn’t bend cast iron or jump 6ft straight up. Didn’t account for at least half of the people he actually knew, sure, including the guy he’d most often climbed it with, but seemed effective so far at keeping out random squatters. Not real charitable, he guessed, locking down an entire apartment building to himself somewhere so many people lacked even a roof to call shelter but he never signed up for them to be his problem. And he liked not being disturbed. Other things he liked included not thinking too hard about some of the stranger aspects of the building he was once again calling home. In spite of the housing shortage, he guessed it might not be so weird that no one had gotten round to tearing the place down in all these years, and to judge by the disintegrating newspapers he’d found tacked up as draft excluders the building hadn’t been inhabited since the 80s. But why was the gas still connected? No electricity, far as he could tell without knocking more holes in the walls than he thought the place could take without crumbling, but the water was still running.

Those mysteries had come clearer after he found the first camera. It had been pretty well camouflaged by a dense cobweb that looked dyed black by half a century of city smog – fuck knew how the asshole had managed that. He’d never have spotted it if he hadn’t caught the whine of tiny servos or something when he passed it. He’d panicked, smashed the thing, torn around the building searching for more. As he bore down on the third, it spoke to him. “Hey Terminator, point’s taken. Quit breaking my stuff. Drop the others in the mailbox and I’ll have them picked up.” He had dropped them in the mailbox. But he’d taken a certain joy in crushing them as small as he could before he did so. Oops. Sorry, Stark. It made him itchy for a while to think of Stark having anything to do with his habitation – hadn’t he turned down a space at the compound because he wanted out of barracks controlled by someone else? But, fuck it, if the nerd had nothing better to do with his billions than pay Bucky’s bills he might as well let him. And now he was back, he didn’t fancy leaving. 

This last week his resolve was being tested. It had started with the smell. He knew the odours of sweat and blood well enough, and he knew that neither had been coming from the back apartment when he left for work. He’d been back there, of course, on his initial homecoming perimeter check and again on his hunt for Stark’s bugs. The place had been as deserted as the rest of the building, inhabited by nothing more sinister than rats, roaches, and a few pigeons. He needed to check again. He also needed to stop and fucking think. He was half way over the sill before he remembered it had taken an hour’s scrubbing for him to get more than a bit of half-assed light through his own apartment’s grimy windows. From the outside? No chance. It would have to be the hallway. 

With the generator humming and the wireless playing (somehow even now he struggled to think of it as the digital gadget it was), giving all the impression that he was still in his own apartment, he edged out into the hall. He winced at the minute change in the air pressure when he opened the door. But the only people likely to drop-by unannounced who would notice something like that would either have taken more care with their smell or would have said hi. Unless it was deliberate bait. Ten feet to the next door. A longer step over the cracked floorboard that had groaned ominously the first time he’d crossed it.  

The smell of the intruder grew stronger as he approached the door. The ancient lock hadn’t given him much difficulty when he took his original look around but the door was heavy and he shifted it with care. He wished he’d thought to oil the hinges, or pulled the door right off them. Aging lino crackled silently beneath his feet. His own heartbeat filled his ears and gradually he remembered how to breathe and move, even blink, in time with it, aligning the sounds he made so anything that fell outside the rhythm would instantly draw his attention. He remained alone with the soundtrack of his own body.  

He knew he was just short of silent as he passed from room to room, every sense trained for the least disturbance... so when the affronted pigeon erupted from behind the bathroom door raising a fetid cloud of feathers and dust, it took him effort not to swallow his own tongue. He tried to inhale as little as possible of the heavily pigeon-laced air while he let his heartrate settle and watched the bird panic at the narrow window until it finally burst out into the gathering evening gloom. The bird’s distress must have been audible to anyone else in the otherwise silent apartment but nothing and no-one stirred. He lowered his guard a degree as he made his way around the few other rooms. His search was thorough, every cupboard opened, the sparse remains of furniture eased away from the walls. No one.  

The thought that it might have been his imagination haunted him from hall to kitchen. He shook the hair from his eyes and touched a cold wrist to his forehead, trying to remember exactly. The smell lingering in the hall. He was sure. Wasn’t he? He shivered. But the air in here felt disturbed, didn’t it? By more than a pigeon and his own cat-like steps? There was a taint on the air – garbage? He crossed, moving more quickly now, to the window that overlooked the alley and its tideless sea of detritus. The smell hit him harder as he stepped into the cold air that hung in front of the window. The glass was uncracked and no draft would be creeping around that deeply dirt-caked frame. He tested the sash. Grime and old paint wouldn’t resist him but it might hold out longer than the decrepit frame. A little more pressure. He hissed between his teeth when the window rose, barely sticking or rattling in its grooves.  

He was crouched below the sill before conscious thought could catch up. 

Fuckfuckfuckfuck. Dumbass.  

How long had he been stood in full view of any of half a dozen rooftops and twice as many windows? Long enough for a whole squad of snipers to take their shots. Again he let his pulse regulate and raised his head a fraction. No one had shot. And as thorough a survey as he could make of the surrounding area, stopping to scrutinise every spot he would have selected for his own firing position, showed him nothing suspicious – not a movement or a shadow out of place. Nothing, in fact, to cause him concern. Until he drew his gaze back into the room, and down over the smear of blood on the peeling paper below the windowsill. He sank down. A knee had brushed the wall as the other leg lifted to the sill. And, yes, now he could see the pattern of new chips in the old paint where a foot had braced. He returned to the blood. A fair stain. The size of his palm. A significant wound, but not enough to keep the victim from climbing or to force them to staunch the blood with a hand. He gave the window another look as he closed it. No trace of a bloody fingerprint. 

Bucky returned to his own apartment troubled. He could nail up the windows as he’d done downstairs. He had enough supplies for that, sure. From his seat where Winnie Barnes’ spotless kitchen table had once stood, he glanced at the stack of salvaged wood in his mom’s bedroom. She’d be spinning in her grave if he didn’t get it cleared out of there soon. And with a bit more work he could probably make the windows virtually unreachable by climbing too.  

He picked up the M38 that stood on its stock beside him and began checking it over again. The thing was... He found himself picturing the boarded up back apartment – dark and silent rooms in which his neighbours had once laughed and rowed and rushed to get out the door for work. The thing was... that, if he forced whoever had gone to the trouble to climb into the second floor of his building to move off permanently, they were unlikely to lose interest. He would either have to hunt them down – so much for the quiet life – or he would be waiting for a bullet through the head or worse until they made themselves known one way or another. That didn’t exactly sound like a peaceful retirement either, did it? And the thing was... he’d felt his heart beating back there.  

Whatever he did about apartment 4, he wasn’t as safe in here as he’d let himself believe for a while. That needed fixing tonight.  

This was his last stop, rucksack already bulging. He heaped the coils of fishing line and bungee cords on the clerk’s desk. The guy’s eyebrows rose when Bucky dropped a couple of handfuls of personal attack alarms on top of the pile. “Stocking fillers. For my self-defence class,” he offered. His cheeks heated a little when the man glanced at the glossy and explicit calendar behind his shoulder which read “February” without offering the least apology for the embarrassment caused. Bucky followed its example and stared blankly, defying contradiction.  

Supplies secured, he disregarded his fire escape and entered by his bedroom window, hauling his way up by the well-concealed handholds he’d made on his way out, scooping out lines of mortar with Vibranium fingertips. He paused on the windowsill to delicately pluck the rudimentary tripwire free and by-pass the edged weaponry that would otherwise have made a spirited attempt to ruin his good looks. He’d considered using a few grenades, but decided it wouldn’t be worth the clean-up. He had enough structural damage to repair around the building as it was. He did a quick round of the other possible entrances, but all were untouched, their makeshift defences untriggered. Finally, he wormed his way up inside the crumbling wall cavity to retrieve one or two personal items he hadn’t been able to leave on display to any sightseer or would-be hit squad but could also not carry freely around Brooklyn, his rifle chief amongst them. He’d read a couple of Stark’s James Bond novels when he’d been insufferably bored in the Tower. Why did that guy’s weapons all fit up a sleeve or his ass or something? When his requisitions came through the British civil service? Stark, SHIELD, and Hydra should all be fucking embarrassed to be lagging so far behind.  

With the limited supplies he’d had on hand, protecting his personal domain had taken precedence. Once he’d made a more professional job of his fortifications, he loaded up some materials and headed back into the corridor. And stopped.  

Something was on the floor outside of number four. Something whose colour and life stood out in the dingy shadows. He went closer and looked down at the leafy plant in its bright striped pot, its three white trumpet-like flowers gazing right back at him. Surely, only a lunatic or a child could like a combination of sunflower yellow, electric blue, and that alarmingly neon pink? A folded paper dropped as he picked up the plant. The handwriting inside was almost as childish as the colour scheme, printed in biro comfortably rounded and neat – something about it made Bucky momentarily picture the writer’s tongue poking out between their teeth as they worked. 

“Hey neighbour, sorry if I bothered you this afternoon. 

Got you a housewarming present as an apology. Hope you like it!” 

It was unsigned, though they’d made no apparent attempt to disguise their handwriting. He glared at the door. It hung slightly askew, and would do – of course – until he was done with the repairs to his own place and made a start on the rest of the apartments. Well, if he was honest with himself, he’d have to get started on his own apartment first of all. Nothing stirred beyond the door. He tucked the note back into the pot and went thoughtfully back up the corridor. He found the plant a spot by a window and stood staring at it for a full minute, waiting for an explosion or maybe some kind of toxic spore cloud – though maybe the latter was kind of cartoonish even for his usual enemies. The plant did nothing sinister. Its dark glossy leaves shone slightly in the light of the sunset.  

Bucky took his M38 up to the roof with him that evening and stayed low for a few minutes, circling in a crouch and checking out his surroundings, but in the end the distant roar of the city lulled him just as it always had. On his third circuit, he touched his fingertips to the chimney stack where he and Steve had scraped their initials, taking turns with Bucky’s new penknife. Smog and pigeons had done their best to obliterate the deep, angular “JBB” and the lighter, neater “SGR”, but Bucky had done his best to restore them the first time he’d come back up here. They’d huddled together against the stack for warmth, watching the stars and hoping Stevie’s dad wouldn’t turn up to drag him home this time, Bucky’s arm usually wrapped round his best friend’s skinny shoulders to stop him shivering. 

He’d dismantled the lower part of the fire escape after his search for the intruder but when it came time to remove their old route to temporary freedom... no, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Fuck it, anyway – anyone determined enough to get onto his roof, with no way to cover the first twenty feet, wouldn’t be put off by a little thing like a missing fire escape. So, he wondered as he settled down with his back to the long-cold chimney and let his gaze wander out over the Hudson, who would got to so much trouble to infiltrate his safe house, just to leave a smear of blood and a goddamn house plant? “Neighbour”? If they were a local, why had he never had any inkling of someone interested in the place? He’d been vigilant enough. Passers-by mostly treated the condemned and wire-fenced pile as though it wasn’t even there. Like it was as invisible to them as it was irrelevant. Just a relic. Hah. A ghost story.  

A last glimpse of the sunset flashed off his fingers. He rolled his shoulders and hissed between his teeth. It was bad tonight, but he would have to do without the pills. If there was still someone prowling around he wouldn’t risk being caught sleeping too deeply. He eased his left shoulder; knotted scar tissue stretched like exposed sinew, raw as a live wire. No, he wouldn’t be sleeping tonight. No fear on that score. He tapped his knuckles against the wall and knocked free a triangle of cement. He bounced it on his palm. He and Steve had thrown so many of these it was a wonder there was any building left. Steve’s had almost always fallen short of any mark he chose, of course, though Buck had sworn blind he’d seen them hit more than once when his buddy’s spirits needed a lift. Hundreds had dropped into the alley below, sometimes raising angry shouts that sent them laughing into cover before anyone could spot their faces silhouetted overhead. The fragment exploded into dust against a raised air vent three buildings over and Bucky grinned to himself as he swung over the edge of the roof and returned home.

For @heretherebewolves, my inspiration.

#written by Bug #actual writing #fanfiction #fandom: marvel #Bucky Barnes #Rating: T #fandomfreebingo #seasonaldelightsbingo #languageofflowersbingo #fluffbruary #multifandomflash #round 1 #day 2 Engagement/Scent/Jam #day 16 Neighbour/Desire/Horse

[fluffbruary]

Fluffbruary IS UNDERWAY! Time to re-post the prompt list and spark some creativity!

As always, pick any or all of the daily prompts as inspiration for your fluffy fanwork. There are a handful of alternate prompts at the bottom of the list if none of the day's prompts work for you.

Whether you do some prompts, or all, or just one--increasing the fluff quotient in the world is surely a good thing.

All fandoms, all ships welcome! Tag @fluffbruary in your posts so we can reblog your fluffy creations--and please reblog THIS post so your tumblr community sees it and comes to play in the fluff.

February 1 : downy | clinic | nuance February 2 : engagement | scent | jam

Putting the rest under a cut because the images make for a LONG post :D

February 3 : umbrella | seashore | mist February 4 : camera | lush | beau

February 5 : rescue | inertia | lullaby February 6 : tie | embarrassment | dessert

February 7 : potatoes | blue | glass February 8 : shower | blessed | layer

February 9 : urgency | kneel | rural February 10 : flush | angel | owl

February 11 : reflection | water | apology February 12 : graceful | volcano | blanket

February 13 : choice | snuggling | furry February 14 : phone | bubble bath | doll

February 15 : cord | bakery | honey February 16 : neighbour | desire | horse

February 17 : magazine | tactile | curtains February 18 : suave | cologne | gradual

February 19 : tea cakes | flood | feature February 20 : smooth | glitters | queen

February 21 : photography | pepper | truffles February 22 : key | silly | quest

February 23 : rhythm | chalk | humor February 24 : spring | fuzzy | silky

February 25 : fox | twilight | sweat February 26 : fluff | woolly | care package

February 27 : table | blush | laundry February 28 : reward | shelter | piano

February 29 : breakfast | valley | sign

alternate prompts: evening | wish | hot | caress | solid

There you have it — all the Fluffbruary 2024 prompts.

Please reblog, and release the fluffening!

#fluffbruary 2024 #prompts #all fandoms #all ships #not just ships #ALL the fluff #reblog the fluff!

[with-a-ghost-mr-holmes]

Fluffbruary: Day 16

John runs into one of The Married Ones at Tesco. Prompts: neighbour, desire, horse.

John’s at Tesco when he runs into their next-door neighbour.

“John, hi!”

“Paul, how are you?”

“Fine. Don’t need to bother asking how you are, do I?” He winks mischievously, much to John’s mortification.

He and Sherlock were overwhelmed by desire the night before and might’ve been slightly louder than usual.

“Don’t worry, mate,” Paul reassures him. “We’re envious, that’s all.”

John can barely open his mouth before Paul is leaving.

“You’re a dark horse, John, I like that!” Paul calls out as he heads to the checkout counters.

John stands there and wishes the ground would swallow him up.

(Ok, this is not fluff, strictly speaking, but let us all just pretend like it counts 😂)

Tags:

@fluffbruary @totallysilvergirl @calaisreno @a-victorian-girl @helloliriels @peanitbear @pressurepoint221 @dubiouslynamed @yellowpamonha @ehuether @lgcgjd @gomielka @kittenmadnessandtea @chriscalledmesweetie @justnerdystuffs @missdeliadili @topsyturvy-turtely @fullyouthwerewolf @chinike @iamjustreading @effulgentcorruptedpov @strawberrywinter4 @seagoing-nerd @annaofthenorthernlights @keirgreeneyes @brightbquirky @mazaherstuff @naefelldaurk @kettykika78 @whatnext2020 @dinner--starving @under-loch-n-key @inevitably-johnlocked  @safedistancefrombeingsmart @meetinginsamarra @gaylilsherlock @snonkerdoodlefizzy221b @7-percent @discordantwords @221beloved @sabsi221b @khorazir @johnlockismyreligion @jolieblack

Let me know if you want to be added/removed!

And an immense THANK YOU for reblogging/leaving comments/liking my stuff. It means the world to me, and interacting with the fandom is one of my biggest joys! 🥰

#fluffbruary 2024 #bbc sherlock #johnlock #my fanfiction #drabble #The Married Ones #ALL the prompts #😲

[starker-sorbet]

Tony inviting his cute neighbour over to his house for a meal and to play some scrabble in order to get to know each other better

@fluffbruary 2024 day 16 : neighbour | desire | horse

#starker #fluffbruary 2024 #neighbour #neighbours tony and peter #first date #moodboard #my moodboard #peter parker is an adult here

[lisbeth-kk]

Day 16 of Fluffbruary neighbour - desire - horse

Sherlock fandom

Love Potion, Truth Serum, or Both?

Summary: They're both quite drunk. Sherlock doesn't remember where they are or what they're doing in a place that's clearly not Baker Street. When John starts talking about a game and animals, Sherlock fears his brain has collapsed. But one thing is clear to him. He wants to kiss John.

@fluffbruary @totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @calaisreno @phoenix27884 @a-victorian-girl @safedistancefrombeingsmart @gregorovitchworld @topsyturvy-turtely @peanitbear @helloliriels @raina-at @7-percent @ninasnakie @sabsi221b

#fluffbruary 2024 #sherlock fandom #sherlock #john watson #bbc sherlock #johnlock #sherlock fanfic #ao3 fanfic #reblog the fluff!

[autobot2001]

Horseback Riding

Author: Autobot2001 Genre: Fanfiction Fandom: Transformers Rating: E Pairing: Drift X Jamie Description: Vivian's neighbor invites everyone to ride horses. I think I just added to my fanfiction universe.

Day 16; @fluffyfebruary: spontaneous @fluffbruary: neighbour | desire | horse

“…. you’re welcome to come ride my horses,” Drift hears a mech talking to Vivian. How strange. Drift thinks, but Vivian appears to be calm. He doesn’t think he needs to see the mech as a threat to his friends. “That sounds good. Are you aware there are eight people in my house right now? Friends are staying over as they often do.” “Not a problem, ma’am. Let me know when you’re coming.” As Vivian closes the door, the man turns and heads downstairs. “Spontaneous, but it’ll be fun,” Vivian smiles.

Sunstreaker had to be convinced to join the others for horseback riding. The others are interested. Crosshairs and Drift worry that Jamie is just saying she wants to go out of fear of being forced to go. Even with the lack of cues that she doesn’t want to go. While concerned about whether Jamie chooses to go, Drift desires to ride with her without the others.

The neighbor’s home is five miles away. It’s a quick two-minute drive.

The man watches four cars pull into his driveway. The Autobots and Jamie learn Vivian’s neighbor is Lucas Harris. While the Autobots refer to each other holoform using their Cybertron names, they know each other’s chosen Earth names. They have slight concerns about making mistakes. They don’t want Lucas to know who they really are yet. “… there are six trails,” Lucas explains, “the property is fenced in, so you don’t have to worry about staying off the property.” Lucas gives everyone a map of the property and trails. The Autobots and Jamie are worried, seeing Lucas has a business. Concerned, he just bought the property to start his business. Even with the five miles of forest separating the two properties and the unlikelihood that anyone would walk the trails the Autobots made in the woods. “I don’t think this is a security risk,” Vivian assures them, “we have security around the property, though, so we’re prepared.” “We’re not hiding, and I doubt this guy is working for the cons,” Drift argues. The conversation is dropped.

Lucas matches everyone with a horse and teaches how to prepare the horse for riding. Jamie and Vivian watch the Autobots struggle. Hoping Sunstreaker doesn’t get angry. Next is a quick lesson on riding a horse, Lucas thought. With five people to teach the basics of riding a horse, the lesson takes an hour. Everyone is ready to go on the trails near sunset. Drift desires to watch the sunset with Jamie. Seeing there’s a field on the property like on Vivian’s.

Drift pays close attention to the trails, hoping he doesn’t miss the trail he and Jamie have to go down to get to the field. Crosshairs smiles, having a good idea of what Drift is up to. He’s happy Drift has been doing better the past few days. His concern is the longevity of the good mood.

Drift signals Jamie to turn left when they reach the path. As Drift directs his horse to turn left, he’s certain he sees Crosshairs looking back and smiling. Jamie follows Drift to the open field.

There’s a place to tie the horses and keep them from running off. The two make it time to sit on the grass and watch the sunset. “I could do this every day,” Drift smiles, and he hugs Jamie on his lap.

“Where’d they go?” Sideswipe asks. “I don’t know,” Crosshairs tells him, “they have a map. They’ll be back.” Lucas isn’t worried about two missing riders and horses, despite having just met everyone. He shows everyone what they should do when they’re done riding their horse.

Drift and Jamie return to the barn as the last minutes of light pass. The others had already gone home. Lucas is in the barn, feeding the horses. The two lead their horses into the barn. Jamie already told Drift what they have to do. Lucas watches as they tend to the horses and locate the stables. “Looks like it’s dinnertime,” Drift comments as he leads the horse into the stable. The horse makes a sound as if responding, “I wonder if he’s complaining?” With the two horses taken care of, Drift apologizes to Lucas, who tells him he’s not mad. “It’s impossible to steal a horse here,” he jokes, “you’re all welcome to ride the horses again. It would be wise to call first if you wish to ride during business hours. I’d like to ensure everyone rides the same horse when they come.” Drift and Jamie thank Lucas and head toward Drift’s alt mode.

“That was fun,” Drift smiles as he drives home. “Yes,” Jamie smiles.

They make it home for dinner. “Look who finally came home,” Sideswipe teases. “Really?” Sunstreaker scolds, “leave them alone.” The friends talk about going back to Lucas’ home and riding horses. To Vivian, this is another opportunity for the Autobots to learn to trust humans. She’s unsure if they struggle to trust new recruits at the N.E.S.T. base, but they are concerned about Lucas.

“So?” Crosshairs asks later that night when Jamie is asleep. “She had fun. I don’t think she felt forced.” “Why do I feel like there’s a but?” “I worry how long until my good mood is ruined? Jamie has been doing a little better.” Crosshairs doesn’t know what to say while worried about his friends. He hugs Drift. The two think they should talk, but it’s the same conversation every time that doesn’t help them. They are happy with the good day. They go to bed.

#transformers #transformers fanfiction #transformers autobots #transformers drift #transformers crosshairs #transformers terror twins #transformers sideswipe #transformers sunstreaker #transformers Vivian Wembley #fluffy february #fluffy february 2024 #fluffbruary 2024 #fluffbruary #day 16 #spontaneous #neighbor #horse #desire #another fun day out #a fun day out #with friends

[imhereforscm]

"The prince's return"

Genre: fluff/royalty AU

Pairing: human!Krioff × reader

Warnings: none

For the fluffbruary event (@fluffbruary )

A/N: Well, I haven't put Krioff in a royalty AU yetᕙ⁠(⁠ ͡⁠◉⁠ ͜⁠ ⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠◉⁠)⁠ᕗᕙ⁠(⁠ ͡⁠◉⁠ ͜⁠ ⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠◉⁠)⁠ᕗ But now I have~✨

Prompts: neighbour | desire | horse (Day 16/2024)

--------------------------------------------

You hummed to yourself as you made your way around the bushes that surrounded the entrance of the castle and headed for the back, your fingers curled tightly around the handle of a metallic bucket.

Your dress swayed behind you as you moved, the fabric hugging your waist, with the occasional loose strings at the sleeves, that you'd always cut and burn, preventing your old and tired dress from ruin.

Reaching the back of the palace, where a tap in the shape of a ram's head was, for retrieving water, you heard the sound of horse hooves.

Your pace slowed as you reached your destination, now the sound of the iron horseshoes stemming from even closer.

A tall brown horse was standing there, its reigns attached to the tap. It neighed, staring at you with its dark eyes, its silky mane swaying as it moved its heavy head.

You placed the bucket down gently and slowly, you approached the horse, a hand extended towards it. "Hey, there." You spoke softly. "Are you alone?" Your eyes looked around, but just as you expected, there was not a single soul present. Your palm touched the horse's head and your fingers slipped into the velvet sensation of its coat. "You have a beautiful coat." You said and smiled at the horse, who exhaled a deep and throaty neigh and nuzzled its face into your hair, indulging in your touch.

"Who're you?" A deep and gruff voice reached your ear drums like an arrow crossing your head.

You spun around, your gaze landing upon a man with broad chest and shoulders, his hair the color of sea foam and his body enveloped in expensive, fine clothing.

The man chose to stay silent, staring at you so intensely, he was almost glaring with those silver eyes of his, resembling knives laid out beneath the pure sunlight.

You bowed, your head craning forward a little. "My name is (name), sir, I'm the new member of the staff."

"I see." He replied curtly. "That's my horse."

"Oh," Your eyebrows rose slightly. "my apologies."

Night slipped back into your lives, its hundreds stars like hilts of swords picking out from a wound. The musicians touched their instruments and it wasn't long before a current of velvet and silk, decorated with gold, silver and arrogance, along with gems and pride flowed into the palace's ballroom.

The queen was celebrating the return of her son from a neighboring kingdom and although most of the nobles seem to loath this mysterious prince, their terror at the consequences that'll befall them if they were to decline, was even greater. A fear no amount of baskets with fruits and letters could appease.

"Hey, have you seen the prince?" A fellow lady working in the palace grabbed your hand, whispering into your ear, eyes bright and shinning.

You shook your head, curiosity leading your interest to grow into something like desire to see this prince everyone seems to fear, yet talk about. "Is he like... Missing one eye or has scars all over his face?"

The lady laughed. "As sexy as that would be, no." She opened her mouth to continue, but decided against it in the end and closed it. "You can see for yourself." She said, before dragging you off, to a corner in the balcony surrounding the palace. "Quiet." She whispered, hiding the two of you in the shadows.

You waited, stilled in place like an ancient statue and anticipating a glimpse of the prince with bated breaths. "Are you sure he'll—" What you were about to say, you honestly couldn't recall, your tongue numb inside your mouth, lips parted in shock.

He stood in the night breeze, his snowy white hair swaying lightly, as he leaned over the railing, eyes casted at the far off ground.

"It was... Him."

#scm #star crossed myth #fanfic scm #scm fanfic #scm krioff

[revelationschapter6]

Fluffbruary 2024

1. downy | clinic | nuance

2. engagement | scent | jam

3. umbrella | seashore | mist

4. camera | lush | beau

5. rescue | inertia | lullaby

6. tie | embarrassment | dessert

7. potatoes | blue | glass

8. shower | blessed | layer

9. urgency | kneel | rural

10. flush | angel | owl

11. reflection | water | apology

12. graceful | volcano | blanket

13. choice | snuggling | furry

14. phone | bubble bath | doll

15. cord | bakery | honey

16. neighbour | desire | horse

17. magazine | tactile | curtains

18. suave | cologne | gradual

19. tea cakes | flood | feature

20. smooth | glitters | queen

21. photography | pepper | truffles

22. key | silly | quest

23. rhythm | chalk | humor

24. spring | fuzzy | silky

25. fox | twilight | sweat

26. fluff | woolly | care package

27. table | blush | laundry

28. reward | shelter | piano

29. breakfast | valley | sign

alternate prompts: evening | wish | hot | caress | solid

you can tell that a man is good if he has a dog that loves him - good omens (ineffable husbands)

Every Caregiver deserves a Little or Pet of their own. If you ask Soho, there's no one more deserving than Mr. Fell. Day 6. Embarrassment Day 9. Kneel

#masterlist #master list #masterpost #master post #fluffbruary #fluffbruary 2024

[immnemosine]

One-Sentence Prompt #6

1. "Aren't we all a little bit crazy?"

2. "Really? Really? Do you really think I am afraid of you?"

3. "Boy, what a damn fall that one is. We're fucked!"

4. "Could you, please, please, try to keep your bag shut?"

5. "And when you discovered you had magic you didn't even think of telling us?"

6. "No. You are wrong. This is who I am."

7. "Alright, you goddamn spinach, you got yourself into a fight!"

8. "Aren't you tired of going apeshit? Don't you just want to relax and hear the sounds of the forest?"

9. "Sir, let me tell you a thing. You people are goddamn crazy."

10. "Everybody is crazy here. This a fucking psychiatric hospital, what did you want?"

11. "I think that the reason why I like it here so much is that, at least here, I can be myself."

12. "My family, you see, they are all crazy. But not crazy crazy, they are conventionally crazy, but not me. I am crazy crazy and, well, that makes me a freak in that place."

13. "Tell me, dear, what's your greatest desire?"

14. "You look like the type of men that would adopt a kid out of instinct, but would go to those parental advices group to learn how to raise said kid."

15. "Kid you not, I really thought that this was going to work."

16. "So, you are not killing me? At least not today? Great! I really need to get my PhD so I can shove it on my Uncle's face."

17. "You are my professor, right, sir? And you see me almost every single day in class, right? So, do you really think I care that you are a villain? Do you?"

18. "Really, why the hell did you choose this job? I'm sure as hell that being a mob boss is a lot less stressful than being a teacher. And a lot less work too."

19. "Dude, why the hell would any of us ever tell who you are to the police? You are the only neighbour that, unironically, we feel safe with. We would be fucked if we ever have to be babysit by Ms. Johnson ever again."

20. "I'm a teenager, mister. If I wasn't chill, I would have gone crazy a long time ago."

21. "I really love you guys, but fuck me if I don't hate you guys right now."

22. "There will always be this missing piece on your being and you only learn how to live with it in there. But you do live, wanting it or not."

23. "You are not broken, sweetie, you are simply too awesome for this world."

24. "Once my mother told me that every time you went to our house, you would ask if I did love you. And I did, I did. I do, but my type of love is the type that would bury you if it ever landed on your shoulders."

25. "Are you high? Because you look high."

26. "Yes, I am selfish. Yes, I am broken. Yes, I am cruel. I am all the things they might have said to you, but I never, for once, thought of hurting you in any way. Never."

27. "There's no thing such as good deeds in the world."

28. "Already! Enough! If this is how it has to be, then let it be!"

29. "You can call yourself a man, but I guarantee you that I am a goddess."

30. "Sweetheart, sometimes the Devil is the loudest one in the choir."

31. "Who made you feel like a burden? Tell me, please."

32. "Listen, he may be my older brother but it was that "idiot" that raised me when my mother died and my father was so drunk that he couldn't even stand. So, I don't want to know if you think that he is so evil and cruel! He is my family!"

33. "Oh, you think you are so almighty, don't you? Well, newflash asshole! You are not a god!"

34. "You are my baby, you see, you will always be my little baby."

35. "How many times I have to tell you that no matter how old you are, I can always ground you!"

36. "Listen here, you fuckin' bitch, move."

37. "What's wrong with you? Why are you like this?"

38. "Listen, baby girl, in this house is either to move or to be moved."

39. "Ahhhhhh! (S/N), help me! She is biting me!"

40. "Ohh, you punches him in the face? Right in the middle of the face? Ohhh, girl, I sure am getting you pizza tonight."

41. "I don't care you are a boy. You could be a girl, a horse or an alien, I'm still your legal guardian and you shouldn't have punched him in his junk, ok? No, even if you were justified."

42. "I'm fuckin' tired, aye? Fuckin' tired. Go to fuckin' hell, I am leavin'."

43. "Guess what? I don't care. Gather up your things and leave, I am retired."

44. "You know? I used to think that there was a big, big world out there. That it was full of wonders and life, new discoveries and joy. But, really, the more time I passed out there, the more I thought about the small things in a home. The way the light goes in by the window and reveal the world outside without letting it touch you. Sincerely... I miss my home."

45. "There's something in your smile that just makes me so relieved."

46. "You asked once what I loved in you and didn't answered back then. I will do it now. It's everything. I love everything about you, from your laugh to your anger, your sadness to your giddiness, I love everything about you."

47. "She was precious to me, yes. I raised her, after all. How could she not be precious to me?"

48. "He may not have been my biological father, but in all means of the word, he was. And you can not take that from him."

49. "We are family. No matter what happens, I love you. I love you, I love you and I love you. Now words taken back."

50. "Yeah, they may be a little bit of assholes and as mad as a hatter, but hey, they are still my family and I still love them with my full heart."

#my prompts #writing prompts #prompts #writing #one sentence prompts #one sentence #one sentence 6 #one sentence prompt 6 #family prompts #angst prompts #magic prompts

[victoriareyloficlists]

Engagements, Weddings, and Arranged Marriages

Updated 15 November 2021

Rest of the Masterlist.

(take me to) the lakes by akosmia (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: It’s a quiet Saturday morning and they've been dating only for two months, when Ben slips and calls her wife.) A Dog is a Man's Best Friend (and also a force for fate) by Impossiblefangirl0632 (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben is dog-sitting for Poe and everything is going fine until BB sees a rabbit and runs off. Rey finds a muddy, but happy dog and takes him home with her. She's going to turn him into the shelter, she really is but before she can she runs into a very stressed, very annoyed Ben who accuses her of dognapping.) A Doggy Intervention by corpse_wife (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Interventions come in many different forms. Whether it's time, a place or occasionally, people, it's up to the universe to decide when two soulmates meet. In Ben Solo's case, the universe had a cruel sense of humor. For his intervention comes in the form of a German Shepard and his graceless brunette owner. Two things happened in the short span of a minute: 1.) Ben got tackled to the ground 2.) The dog had just swallowed his wedding rings) A Marriage of Rebellion by Zoa (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Historical Arranged Marriage- Rey is a princess and must choose a prince to marry. Solely (at first) to spite her grandfather, she chooses the grandson of his old rival, Prince Ben Solo.) A merry Reylo Christmas by MeadowHayle (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, 24 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Ben are roommates and celebrate the most wonderful time of the year together. For Rey it's the first real Christmas with friends and family and she wants to make up for all the things she missed as a child. Ben tries to help as best as possible, giving her a Christmas experience she deserves.) A Night at the Opera by orphan_account (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Prince Benjamin is resistant to his arranged marriage to the Palpatine heir. ) A Scandalous Match by Musickat18 (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, 18 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Despite a very poor first impression, Rey has found herself forced to wed the mysterious and intimidating Ben Solo, Duke of Ren. The marriage is deemed highly scandalous by society as Rey is no more than an orphan living on the good graces of Mr. Unkar Plutt. Rey, now Duchess of Ren, finds herself forced into a role for which she has no training, with a husband who does not even seem to like her.) Adoration of One Rey of Light by stellarnightmage (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Since she was born, Rey Palpatine has been betrothed to Ben Solo, someone she's never met, and who's 10 years older than her. She hates the very idea. That is until they meet when she's 19 and Rey finds that it's hard to hate someone when they seem to adore you. It was her birthday, and the contract dictated she had to meet her husband-to-be on this god-forsaken day. She’d rather not ever see him ever. Or marry him. Or whatever.) All I Need for Christmas is You by Atchamb7 (AO3 2019  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben wants to make this Christmas special. He finds a rare toy that Rey has wanted since she was a child (baby doll) and attached to the doll is a ring.) an unexpected alliance by antematter (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 6 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: A Regency ABO story in which Captain Kylo Ren dallies with Miss Rey Niima, and she accidentally mates him.) And Closer Still Is Never Enough by lovefrompluto (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben has an arranged marriage to Rey but what happens when he starts to court the wife who is a stranger to him?) And Your Kingdom Too by vuas (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Fantasy AU, Quick Synopsis: Her kingdom sells her hand the moment his thunderous black horse arrives at the border. Nobody fights for her honor like in the stories she’s read. There is no duty-bound, brave knight in possession of sparkling eyes coming to save her. There’s only the Red King and his bloody sword.) as luck would have it by prncesselene (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 16 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When a case of violent food poisoning ruins Rose and Hux’s honeymoon plans, who better to take their place at a pre-paid Hawaiian beach resort than the Maid of Honor and Best Man? Sure, it’ll take some maneuvering, but a free vacation is a free vacation. They just have to pretend to be devoted newlyweds for a bit to enjoy it. There’s only one glaring issue, really: they can’t stand each other.) baby fever by cursebreakker (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey’s boss kylo basically has a heart of stone, he literally has a reputation in the offices as 'Satan’s right hand'. That is until Rey’s two year old daughter toddles up to him outside of work one day and he just completely melts.) Baby, It's Just Biology by Polkadotdotdot (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 32 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: For Rey Jackson, trying to finish your degree in Biomedical Science at Harvard is difficult enough when you're one of the few Omegas on campus. It's made even more difficult when your Professor is the one to trigger your heat. You can't help it, it's just your biology. An Alpha Omega love story.) before we go. by AquaWolfGirl (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Medieval AU, Quick Synopsis: On the eve before the battle against their enemies, General Rey Jakksun seeks out General Kylo Ren. There are others she could have gone to in their camp, sure, but of all the men there, she decides to ask him to teach her pleasure -- something she's never known and wants to experience once before she dies in the morning.) Bespoke by fettuccine_alfreylo (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 12 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When new stylist Rey Jackson receives a request to dress the hottest (and most unfashionable) new actor in Hollywood, she gets a lot more than she bargained for. Mentally AND physically. Because Ben Solo is freaking massive.) But I Do by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Ben get married at the same venue at the same time. When both are left at the altar, they decide to flip life off and marry each other.) Butter Crisp Sandwich by DarkMage13 (AO3 2021  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: “Mr, I insist you join me for a tea party today, at precisely noon. My teddy will be there.” Ben glanced at the boring clock on the wall. Ten minutes until noon. He swallowed in fear. There was no escape.  Or: Ben Solo cannot say no to an adorable hazel-eyed little girl's request for tea.) Compass by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Kira is not in the business of harboring fugitives aboard her ship, but for a doe-eyed prince disguised as a peasant, she makes an exception.) count the rings by lachesisgrimm (olga_theodora) (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 20 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Urban legend says the demon tree needs a bride in order for it to escape its confines. What happens when Rey jokingly marries herself to the tree during a camping trip?) Crystal Crowns by altargaryen (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, 10 Chapters, Royalty AU, Quick Synopsis: Princess Rey Palpatine was a sprightly twelve year old the day her very best friend in the whole world left her. She is a women fully grown the day he returns, six years later, on the verge of taking up her own crown half a world away. A best friends to lovers, royalty romance.) Day Follows Night; Dark Follows Light Sequel by LyricalRiot (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 20 Chapters, Canon CD, Quick Synopsis: After the thorough defeat of the First Order, the Resistance is busy forming a new government, and two powerful Force users, Ben Solo and Rey, are in search of their destiny now that the war is over. Their new feelings for each other are strong, and they know they want to stick together, but learning what exactly that means is undiscovered country. Vague plans and a bit of planet hopping are all they have in their future for now, but it won't take them long to find the Force has other plans in store. Visits to old homes, nights of glamor and artifice, and exploring the secret deep places of the galaxy ahead. Steamy, but not graphic.) Deceit, Delusion, and Desire by AttackoftheDarkCurses, thebuildingsnotonfire (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 16 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey realizes her student visa is about to expire, she struggles to find a way to stay in the country legally. Her roommate has a terrible idea, and it's just risky enough to work.) Dreaming of a December Wedding by greywilde (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 11 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: A Reylo modern AU based on the Hallmark Christmas Movie, "A December Bride" Rey Jackson was supposed to marry Poe Dameron and have her dream December wedding - until he fell in love with her foster sister Kaydel. And it's all Ben Solo's fault. Now it's payback and he's her fake date to the wedding, but when Ben makes an impulsive announcement, it sets the stage for an elaborate holiday arrangement.) Eating for Two by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is pregnant and smells her neighbour Ben's cooking. She goes round to ask if he would be willing to share. But maybe Ben would like to share more than his cooking with Rey.) Fated and Inevitable by Kyriadamorte (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Canon AU, Quick Synopsis: Padawan Ben's life gets a whole lot more complicated when a group of Force users on Jakku demands he marry one of their own before offering aid to a floundering New Jedi Order. He refuses, of course. At first.) Five Times That Ben Saved Rey's Valentine's Day & How She Forever Saved His by AnneAnna (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben makes a confession in his wedding speech: He knew he was going to marry Rey when he and Rey were 4 years old and she gave him a Valentine she made and colored herself. And 21 years later, he still has that Valentine.) for love or money by KiKi37 (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 30 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The loss of a scholarship has left Rey Niima in a financial bind, with only a few months until graduation. Her friend Rose might know of something that could help.) Force du Couer by Stargazer1116 (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 24 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Kylo Ren is the CEO of a successful corporation in NYC. In a power play, his board, led by his uncle, demand that he marry to makeover his dismal public image. Rey is an art therapist working with foster kids in Harlem. When she contacts Kylo for possible support, he proposes a business deal that can benefit them both. He has no idea how much this woman with a fierce heart will turn his world upside down.) forever valentine by bellestar (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben makes a confession in his wedding speech. He knew he was going to marry Rey when he and Rey were 4 years old and she gave him a Valentine she made and colored herself. And 21 years later, he still has that Valentine.) Gifted Forevers by ABeautifulBreakdown (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey said yes to Marrying Ben Solo she never expected things to get so out of hand. Now, on the day of her wedding, she's given a choice because all roads lead to him.) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 18 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey asked for something to keep her warm for her birthday. Poe decides the best present he could get is Ben.) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 45 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: From childhood to adulthood, Ben is practiced at catching a clumsy Rey.) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 50 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben needs to get married in order to get full ownership of his company. Rey learns about her boss' predicament and offers a helping hand.) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 56 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Hungry overworked Ben accidentally ends up in McDonalds. Guess what happens next?) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 59 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: This chapter was born during a video about how pockets on women's clothing shrunk through history. Modern Rey would be outraged to know that womankind used to have pockets big enough to stash a loaf of bread. Imagine all the snacks they could fit! But she would have to make do with her boyfriend's pockets. Yep, that's basically the plot. Warnings: if Reylo babies bother you, you might want to skip this one.) Good Opinion by Hormonal_Trashbag (AO3 2016  Rated T Complete, 4 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: “Will you allow me my freedom if I consent to marry you?” He blinked, startled by her question. “You cannot be serious. Regardless of what my mother may want, we have no need to marry.” The flickering candlelight cast wild shadows on her lovely face. There was something absolutely untamable about her, something he could never touch should he want to; Ben found that he decidedly did not. She was fierce and unforgiving as the sea, and he could not fully comprehend the twist of desire coiled in his gut at her unmoving gaze. Her response was simple. “Is that really true?”) Good Opinion by Hormonal_Trashbag (AO3 2016  Rated T Complete, 4 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: “Will you allow me my freedom if I consent to marry you?” He blinked, startled by her question. “You cannot be serious. Regardless of what my mother may want, we have no need to marry.”) heaven in hiding by blessedreylo (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: They say it's impossible for a guy and girl to be "just friends", but Rey and Ben had managed to discredit that throughout their decade long friendship. What they both have is special, that people would often arrive at the conclusion the two were made for each other. He's her safe haven, her rock. She gives him a sense of clarity and direction. Ben and Rey know each other more than anyone ever possibly could. Therefore on Valentine's Day, their friends decided to secretly set them up together on a blind dinner date.) Heavy in Your Heart by crossingwinter (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Medieval AU, Quick Synopsis: Kylo, a prince who decided to have one last good night before their arranged betrothal, fell in love with a stranger at the bar. They don’t remember much except a voice. The next day, the stranger at the bar is at the altar marrying her bethrothed when she recognizes him as the man she had fallen in love with last night.) Homestead Fire by ladyofreylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Prairie AU, Quick Synopsis: In this story, Ben Solo is a homesteader trying to court O. Kenobi's adopted daughter whilst on the prairie. He believes he will make Miss Rey a good husband. He shows her how when he stops by to chop wood and build up her fire.) Hope Is Like The Sun by LoufromJakku (AO3 2021  Rated M Complete, 15 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Leia tries to set-up her painfully single son with her assistant Rey. What Leia doesn't know is that Rey's already pregnant with Ben's child after a (drunken) one-night-stand and she hasn't told him yet.) How Not to Break Up by LadyBrettAshley (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Nothing means more to Leia than her Annual Pumpkin Carving extravaganza. That’s why Ben asks Rey to keep their recent breakup a secret until after the party. After a carving-related accident, Ben comes to her aid and it turns out... they may not have to tell anyone they broke up at all.) I Thee Wed by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is a wedding planner and on the wedding day she finds out that the young flower girl and the ring bearer are very stressed about their role in the wedding. Rey offers to walk them through it by pretending to be the bride so they could practice at the altar. They search for a fake groom amongst the wedding guests and find Ben. He agrees to help. ) I'll Pick You by greywilde (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey broke off her no-strings arrangement with Ben to move to the big city and broke his heart (and her own) in the process. Three years later, a trip to an apple orchard has her falling - literally - into the arms of the man she left behind. His feelings haven’t changed, but have hers?) I'm Your Dream Girl by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Reylo AU where Ben & Rey are roommates but Ben is constantly blowing up at Rey for being messy, eating his food, but Rey always just smiles and takes it. That’s because she knows Ben’s secret. He talks in his sleep. Mainly about how much he loves her and wants her to be his wife.) ignorance of etiquette by blessedreylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Lady Rey Kenobi lives a life of pristine comfort and luxury on her family's estate in Chesire with her parents Lord Obi-Wan Kenobi and Lady Satine Kenobi. When they receive word that an old family friend, Lord Benjamin Solo, is coming to visit, Lady Rey is reminded of how he tormented her as a child. She decides that she will prove herself not the same girl she once was in more ways than one.) ignorance of etiquette by blessedreylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Lady Rey Kenobi lives a life of pristine comfort and luxury on her family's estate in Chesire with her parents Lord Obi-Wan Kenobi and Lady Satine Kenobi. When they receive word that an old family friend, Lord Benjamin Solo, is coming to visit, Lady Rey is reminded of how he tormented her as a child. She decides that she will prove herself not the same girl she once was in more ways than one.) In Sickness And In Health by Theyna_Shipper (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey knows it's not an ideal situation, but it's a situation thousands of people are in. It's not like there's much she can do about it right now, anyways. She can go a little while without health insurance. Until she gets breast cancer. The treatment will be simple if she can get it. But she's worried she can't, until her old co-worker Ben offers a solution: "We could get married.") Inspired by Wasting Time on the Interwebs Chapter 8 by Theyna_Shipper (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Ben are paired up for an economics assignment, but they have a major difference of opinion on some key points.) key to the kingdom by blessedreylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 12 Chapters, Princess Diaries AU, Quick Synopsis: Most girls get a drunk weekend in Vegas for their 21st birthday, but Princess Rey Kenobi gets the chance to rule the country of Alderaan. But the only way she can become Queen is if she marries a man in 30 days, or the throne goes to the selfish (and annoyingly attractive) usurper Lord Benjamin Solo. Will Rey be able to ascend to the throne or will it all just become a royal pain in the ass?) lay all your love on me by akosmia (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben doesn't really think much of himself, and Rey is determined to change his mind.) Leave a Message by spicytofuuuu (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben and Rey's relationship as told by the voicemails Ben leaves for Rey.) Let me Dream, Let me Stay by Melusine11 (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 12 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey has kept up a charade of a non-existant boyfriend for two years and now that Rose and Finn are getting married, she needs someone to pretend to be said boyfriend, enter her coworker Ben.) lie with me and just forget the world by hi_raeth (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: For Rey Solo, the year is 2016. She’s just woken up in the hospital, she’s recovering from a car crash, and she’s wondering where the hell her husband is. For Ben Solo, the year is 2021. It’s been two years since the divorce, since the worst mistake in all of history, since the day he walked away from the love of his life. Sometimes, the universe has a weird (and potentially fatal) way of bringing people back together.) lucem ac viventis by neonheartbeat (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 17 Chapters, Beauty and the Beast AU, Quick Synopsis: In the midway of this his mortal life,/Poe found him in a gloomy wood, astray/gone from the path direct: and e'en to tell:/ it were no easy task, how savage wild/ that forest, how robust and rough its growth,/ which to remember only, his dismay/ renews, in bitterness not far from death/--Yet to discourse of what there good befell, /all else will he relate... discover'd there. A Star Wars take on Beauty and the Beast. Tale as old as time, in a galaxy far, far away.) Make Me Over by Hellyjellybean, Twisted_Mirror (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is a man with a past. The famous actor has used everything from drink to sex to try and fight his demons but maybe all he really needs is the love of a good woman? Rey Johnson is excited to have been appointed MUA to the lead actor on her first film set. From the moment she meets Ben Solo, she's a goner but does he feel the same?) make my heart a better place by defiersofthestars (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben is babysitting his niece and she begs him to FaceTime Rey so she can read her a bedtime story. He’s never met her but as soon as the call connects, he’s completely transfixed. He doesn’t tell her when the kid falls asleep because he doesn’t want her to stop reading.) My Dad Will Not Date Miss Palpatine (But Maybe He Can Marry Her) by AnneAnna (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Annie Solo is perfectly happy with her Dad and brother and the last thing she needs is her dad's high school sweetheart coming to town and ruining everything. But maybe just maybe Miss Palpatine will be far better than she expected.) My Sandwich by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Someone took Ben's turkey sandwich at work, he is infuriated and eager for revenge, until he finds out it was Rey then those feelings no longer exist.) My Whole Life by AttackoftheDarkCurses, thebuildingsnotonfire (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 13 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The "Without a Hitch" high school sweethearts, fake-dating rom-com AU.) Nevertheless, She Persisted by dawninthemtn (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, 24 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Junior campaign staffer Rey works for US presidential candidate Leia Organa and ends up with the job of babysitting her aloof and entitled adult son Ben.) Newspaper Hearts by Celia_and (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: “She made her Valentine’s cards. She tore hearts out of newspaper and glued them onto used envelopes and painstakingly wrote each child’s name. She probably spent days making them. And you know what she wrote on mine?” He doesn’t need to read it to know what it says, so he looks down at her instead, and the hand on her heart and the tears in her eyes. “Ben: You are OK. Rey.”) Nonsense & Nuptials by thehobbem (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, 2 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is the ward of Leia and Admiral Han Solo. She lives alongside Ben Solo who is the victim of her repeated attempts at matchmaking. But her scheming reveals more about her own feelings and fears that she's missed out on something very important.) Of Colds by Armayra (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis:  Rey gets a cold and ends up feeling lonely. Ben plans to fix that.) Peacock by AttackoftheDarkCurses (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 22 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Thanks to a series of misunderstandings, failed attempts at flirting, and loud Katy Perry music, Ben grows to hate his new neighbor. Proposing to her wasn't the best solution to his problems.) Port in the storm by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey pretends to be afraid of thunderstorms so she has an excuse to sleep next to Ben. Ben figures it out when he races home early after seeing thunder, fearing Rey will be crying alone curled up in a ball, only to find her totally chill and eating ice cream.) Rey, Voulez-Vous Prendre Ben Comme Époux? by Theyna_Shipper (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is her boss's best friend and is present at his French wedding. However, due to a language barrier, Ben and Rey are the ones who end up married.) Sleepyhead by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben, a mere himbo, tucks a stray hair behind Rey's ear in class. He knows he deserves the hot coffee in her hand to be thrown in his face and yet he gets a date. ) Something Beautiful by ceciliasheplin (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Medieval AU, Quick Synopsis: Lord Ren forces orphan Rey to marry him. On their wedding night he refuses to take her because he wants her to be willing. Rey is both enraged and frustrated. She may hate him but she isn’t exactly opposed to being ravished by her husband.) Sunshine and Gunpowder by rightforlife (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: She’s a teacher who would do anything to protect her student. He’s a glorified hitman with a heart of black gold.) Teenage Dream by ReyloRobyn2011 (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: They met on the playground in first grade. Ben saw the scrawny girl with three messy buns lining the back of her head from across the schoolyard. She sat by herself on the bench, watching the other kids play. He’d never seen her before; she was the new girl in class. Ben didn’t have any friends and he was too shy to talk to anyone— but there was something about this girl. He felt drawn to her.) The Background by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: He draws her every week. He draws her looking at him smiling, thoughtful, or truly magical, He pours his heart and soul into these drawings. Every Sunday he comes to the hospital room, hoping to meet her eyes. But she's not waking up. His hope is fading. Today...) The Five Times Ben Stole Rey's Halloween Candy and the One Time He Bought Her Some by AnneAnna (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: They meet when Ben Solo tries to steal Rey Kenobi's Halloween bucket and Rey hits him over the head the with her plastic lightsaber. They eventually become best friends and then more. This is just all the Halloween Fall Fluff in the world.) The Soiled Doves by fernybranca (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, 28 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Luck raised Miss Rey Jakku from the streets into the household of Baron Luke Skywalker, and he willed her a fortune beyond the dreams of wealth—earning her the eternal hatred of Benjamin Kylo Skywalker Organa Solo, His Grace of Alderaan, who had counted on his uncle's money to rebuild his ruined ducal seat. But hatred bleeds into obsession, obsession into love, and the rules of the haut ton are strict.) The Trail Bride by SecretReyloTrash (BadOldWest) (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 47 Chapters, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Niima finds herself in a perilous situation when her husband dies at the start of their journey West. From the few bachelors on the trail in her party; she attaches herself to the best of her options. That option is the mysterious Banker Ben Solo.) The Trial of Naboo: Fall of a Duke by Twin_Kitten (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben and Rey are engaged to be married, but after several attempts on her life, he takes personal responsibility for her safety, including keeping her in his bed at night. Problem? Ben is extremely attracted to his bride but the MUST wait until marriage. ) The Ward by dreamingspires (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 18 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: An angsty, Bridgerton-ish/Alpha/Omega/Smutty mash-up, Ben rescues Rey and ends up her guardian.) the way I see you by ocjones (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben glides a finger over the painting’s shining face. It’s long since dried, having traveled the slow journey of hills between Naboo and Mortis, yet the varnish is so glossy it almost feels wet to the touch.And there she is: a soft-looking woman, her breasts pillowing over the top of her corset, her hair held lightly back with a band and flowing out behind her. Her delicate fingers grip a book, clasp it in her velvet-clad lap. The smile on her face is as gentle as her portrayal. His wife.) The Wedding Necklace by daughter_of_the_fifth_house (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 21 Chapters, Canon CD, Quick Synopsis: Nambi Ghima sensed Rey’s longing for a family and gave her a wedding necklace for her future husband - the necklace Kylo Ren ripped off Rey's neck. Which means getting married. First Order Officer Tishra Kandia is confused why she had to analyze said necklace. She and a lot of people – and droids – on both sides of this war wonder about the marriage of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and the Jedi Rey. The only thing is… Rey and Kylo don't even know they’re married.) Through the Years by castles_and_crowns (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 10 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo and Rey Jakkson meet on the playground as children under unusual circumstances and quickly become best friends. This fic follows them through the years, showing glimpses of their friendship as it slowly progresses into something more.) to climb steep hills by galvanator (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: No one really talks to the new girl who sits in the back of the class. She’s been here a month but kids are afraid of her and teachers are too overworked to be able to solve a problem like Rey. No one really talks to the new girl - except for Ben. A childhood to adulthood love story.) To Have and to Hold by bunilicious (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Medieval AU, Quick Synopsis: “Your husband is gravely injured, my lady.” The envoy’s words should have pleased Lady Rey. After all, her husband was one of the dreaded Norman barons who invaded her beloved country and claimed the lands in the name of the bastard who now called himself king. Ben Solo had stormed her uncle’s keep, killed all the men who opposed their new conquerors, and claimed the stronghold for his own. He took the keep, he took the surrounding lands and, at the new king’s orders, took Rey to wife. Rey should have hated him. But, in the six months following their hasty and undesirable marriage, Rey found that hatred for her new husband was the furthest emotion from her heart and mind.) Trick or Treat, Baby by Everren (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is not in the mood to deal with trick or treaters this Halloween. In fact, he’s taken measures to ensure he doesn’t have to. Can Rey, his next door neighbor and lover of all things Halloween, change his mind?) Unexpected by incognitajones (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey doesn’t want anything from her one-night stand Ben Solo, not even now that she’s broke, jobless, and pregnant. But he’s desperate to avoid a scandal that could derail his election campaign, so they agree to a cold-blooded business deal: she’ll marry him and be the perfect political wife—for a price, and a limited term.) weddings and wingwomen by bigfootsflannel (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After hiring Ben Solo as her wedding photographer, Rose discovers her true calling as part-time matchmaker.) Wild Child by tmwillson3 (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey spends her first Season in Bath with her best friend, Rose Tico. When Rose begins a hate-at-first-sight relationship with Sir Armitage Hux, Rey thinks that nothing more exciting could happen. That's when Sir Hux's friend, the Earl of Alderaan, and his dogs come crashing into Rey. Rey has never liked peers, but when she bonds with him on a rainy day, everything changes.) Wild Child by tmwillson3 (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey spends her first Season in Bath with her best friend, Rose Tico. When Rose begins a hate-at-first-sight relationship with Sir Armitage Hux, Rey thinks that nothing more exciting could happen.That's when Sir Hux's friend, the Earl of Alderaan, and his dogs come crashing into Rey. Rey has never liked peers, but when she bonds with him on a rainy day, everything changes.) Worth the Wait by LadyBrettAshley (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After being cheated on by her fiancé, Rey decides not to wait til marriage & decides to lose her virginity to known scoundrel Ben. "Scoundrel" Ben begs her for a dinner with him, worships her in bed and trails after her like a lovesick puppy. Rey is confused.)

#reylo #reylo fanfic

[jovialyouthmusic]

Silver Service

After the Lantern festival at Valtoria, Madeleine returns to Karlingford to start arranging her stage of the Charity Tour, and questions Adelaide about her recent absence from Cordonia. Both Liam and Olivia are under pressure.

Word Count 3030

A/N Warnings - body shaming and anxiety feature in this chapter. No smut but still Not suitable for under 18s

16 Under Pressure

The lantern festival had been a roaring success, and the Valtorian orphanage had gained some much needed funds. Liam’s popularity had increased and he had been seen publicly with Olivia. It made up somewhat for the dilemma with Anton, but there was still an ugly undercurrent. At Bastien’s suggestion, he had made tentative enquiries as to where he could go in the case of having to go into exile. Monaco was open to receiving him, but he found the country extravagant and claustrophobic. He thought perhaps one of the smaller neighbouring countries might be amenable. He did not like the pompous King Bradshaw of Auvernal, and Queen Amalas of Monterisso was friendly, but he thought she might propose more than just a friendly place to stay, and could expect a marriage agreement as they were of a similar age and both single. Greece, on the other hand, was a possibility and he wondered if he could retreat to the United States or to the United Kingdom.

If he had to take the option of exile, what would that mean for Olivia? She did not want to leave her Duchy leaderless, but equally had no desire to be Queen to Anton Severus. He had sent requests for her to visit him at his place of detention, all of which she turned down. Lucretia, after cooperating with Lewis and Damien, refused to say anything else. Her position was complicated. Perhaps if Anton gained the throne, she could claim that hiring the gunman had been in an attempt to aid his claim. On the other hand, it certainly put a dent in his plans and he had had to retreat and  regroup. It was anyone’s guess how he might react if he discovered she had hired the gunman in the cathedral.

Liam and Olivia, Drake and Riley, Bastien and Sophia and Lady Hana Lee stayed at Valtoria for another few days. The next stop on the charity tour was Portaviera, home of Lady Penelope’s family. The duchy had a substantial coastline and had recently suffered from damage after a bad storm with strong winds. The charity event was to be a fashion show.

‘So the King told me you can tell your wishes after you’ve lost sight of your lantern’ Sophia told Bastien over breakfast. He raised an eyebrow at her

‘I’m not risking it’ he replied ‘You know I keep many secrets’

‘But this is just a small one, just a bit of fun’ she wheedled. He shook his head

‘It’s a matter of principle’ he said ‘and much as you are itching to tell me, I suggest you keep yours secret too’ Sophia sighed. She had hoped Bastien would share what he wanted for his future, though she was pretty sure it involved her, as he often told her. She ramped up her game by slipping off her shoe and stretching her leg out to rub his ankle with her bare toes, despite the fact that today they were taking breakfast in the dining room rather than in their quarters. For a change, Sophia had been the first one to wake, though not by much, as Bastien woke at any noise in daylight hours. They had made love leisurely and made the decision to go down to the dining room before they did so again. He glared at her

‘Stop trying, Sophia, I have my work head on’ He finished his coffee and got up. ‘Don’t wait at lunch, I’ll probably be busy’ Sophia rolled her eyes, knowing he was immovable, and stood to fetch another round of toast.

------

‘I’m sorry you’re feeling queasy’ Liam said to Olivia as she sat drinking black coffee looking out of the window. They were having breakfast privately, and he had an appointment soon with Bastien to go over the travel plans for the following day. Olivia made a face.

‘You’d almost call it morning sickness’ she said in an irritated tone. Liam stopped chewing and stared at her.

‘How reliable are those tests?’ he asked. She looked back at him sharply.

‘Pretty much bang on’ she replied ‘Although my monthly was rather light’

‘Can you get hold of another one?’ Liam asked. He saw her already pale face go a little whiter.

‘That might be tricky’ she replied ‘We’re only just letting ourselves be seen in public. If anyone finds out I’m taking pregnancy tests it would be unsettling to say the least’ The matter of her betrothal to Anton hung in the air between them, unspoken.

‘I’m sure if we ask, someone could help get one – perhaps Lady Hana, or Riley – or Sophia’ he said.

‘Hana’s not even dating’ she pointed out ‘I couldn’t be pregnant, surely’

‘Well, we are trying, and I expect few tests are one hundred per cent reliable’ Liam smiled ‘It would at least put your mind at rest, and if you really are expecting – well I promise you I will stand by you and do my very best to make things as easy as I can’

‘If I am, and Anton finds out…’ she started. She slammed her coffee cup onto the table and balled her fists by her sides ‘Bastard, why does everything have to be so complicated?’ Liam got up and went to her, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. He hesitated to hold her, knowing her independent and fiery nature.

‘I’m here for you, Livvy’ he said assuringly. ‘We’ll cope, whatever happens’

------

Anton had nobody to talk over his thoughts with that he trusted, so he muttered to himself in the apartment in the imposing mansion that looked out over the sea. The sky was a dull grey, and scudding waves spread white patterns across the water.

‘Think, why is the upstart King so convinced he can succeed in keeping his title?’ he mused. ‘If I was in his position I’d eliminate the opposition. Either he’s weak, or he’s put me here to dispose of me out of sight’ He glowered over the racing white horses beyond the sheer cliffs. ‘If he doesn’t intend to get rid of me, he must either have proof that my claim is false, or will forge evidence. Even if he does refute it, he still needs an heir.’ He ran his fingers through his black hair ‘Who would he attempt to impregnate?’

His mind worked at the problem and he continued in silence, wondering if the apartment was bugged. That bitch American was one candidate, but would Cordonia accept a common foreigner? He didn’t think so. Lady Madeleine had been a strong contender, and he had seen to it that her mother had met an untimely end in Monaco. He was unaware that attempt had failed, so his train of thought went on. Would the King understand that was a warning that he had contacts that were dangerously close to him? Presumably Madeleine would be too grief stricken to pursue her ambition to be Queen by Liam’s side.

That left Olivia. He smiled at the thought that he had already thwarted any ideas Liam might have of making her his Queen. Liam had nowhere to go to – he was clutching at straws and would fail, and it would not be long before the country welcomed King Anton of house Severus. He went back to his original thought that his life could be in danger. He made a note to his lawyer to demand a larger entourage befitting his status. He wanted his own bodyguard and security team, and he knew where to recruit them. The throne was almost in his grasp.

------

Adelaide and Madeleine had gone from Valtoria to her father’s manor at Karlington, and he had begrudgingly returned from England in the middle of the English racing season to attend a council meeting concerning Anton’s claim. They were next on the charity tour after Portaviera, and there was much planning and preparation to do for the childrens’  cancer department in Krona’s hospital, which needed funding for specialist nurses. Unusually they were hosting a polo match, which was usually held in Portaviera, but due to the storm damage they had called it off in favour of the fashion show.

‘Bloody charity causes’ he grumbled ‘I don’t know why they think they can come begging to their betters. They should manage their affairs more efficiently’

‘We’ll garner popular opinion if we give more support to childhood cancer’ Madeleine pointed out, but her father snorted in disgust.

‘Who cares about that?’ he snapped ‘As long as the commoners pay their taxes and don’t cause any trouble I couldn’t give a fig what they think. What counts is keeping up the high standards the King and other nobles expect from our Duchy’ Madeleine sighed and passed her hand over her forehead.

‘Just leave it to me, father’ she said. He looked at her pointedly

‘I suppose it might make that whippersnapper think twice about rejecting you as his suitor’ he said thoughtfully ‘After all, he’s still not chosen anyone yet, and you’re good breeding stock’ Madeleine pursed her lips. She knew it was futile to engage him when he was in a mood like this, and let the sting of his words bounce off her, but unusually Adelaide sprang to her defence.

‘She’s not a farm animal, Geoffrey’ she pointed out ‘Maddy’s more than just a means to your delusions of grandeur.’

‘Delusions?’ her father spat ‘I am certainly not deluded about the quality of my bloodline. I suppose I should be glad you spat out female progeny before your ovaries gave up the ghost’ Madeleine saw the tears spring to her mother’s eyes. She knew tonight she would drown her sorrow in alcohol – perhaps she’d be raiding the drinks cabinet sooner than that. That left her to make all the arrangements as usual. Never mind, she told herself, at least that was something she was good at. Her father turned on his heel to leave the room.

‘I’m off to the golf course’ he said over his shoulder ‘Don’t bother setting dinner for me, I’ll eat at the club’ Adelaide slumped.

‘I’m so sorry Maddy, your father shouldn’t talk about you like that. I know you blame me for not standing up for you – for making you think you were only fit for one thing. But what else could I do? You’re my only child’ she stepped up to her and reached out as if to touch her cheek, but her hand fell away. ‘I only want you to be happy’

‘I don’t think you have much control over that’ Madelaine sniffed. ‘Now, are you going to hit the bottle, or help me with the garden party after the polo match?’

--------

Later that evening at Karlingford, her father had returned late and gone straight to his room. He and Adelaide had separate bedrooms, and that had been the case for as long as Madeleine could recall. She remembered running into her mother’s bedroom once in the morning as a child when her father was away, only to find her with a man she didn’t know. After that, her mother’s door remained locked, and the young girl had to wait for her nanny to come and fetch her for breakfast. She never went into her father’s room as he disliked her ‘fawning’ on him as he put it.

Adelaide had managed to abstain from drinking before the evening meal, at which only she and Madeleine sat at the long table in the grand dining room. Her father insist that they eat there when he was resident, even if he was dining elsewhere himself. She watched her mother gulp down her first glass, waving at the serving staff just to leave the bottle in front of her rather than hover to fill her glass. She appeared to spend more time drinking than eating, and Madeleine sipped at her mineral water as she ate. The sound of their cutlery on the fine china plates made a sharp clattering sound that echoed round the huge room.

‘Darling you should eat more’ Adelaide remarked ‘You’re too thin. Men like a little meat on the bones you know, don’t model yourself on all those skinny models’ Madeleine stiffened

‘I’d rather be appraised for something other than my physical appearance, mother’ she said curtly. Adelaide waved her glass in the air.

‘I know that appearances shouldn’t matter, sweetie, but it helps.’ She leaned toward her, elbows on the table – a terrible faux pas her father would have frowned at. ‘You’ve always been well turned out – neat, tidy, modest, and you dress impeccably’ Madelaine sighed as the last of the dishes were cleared – the meal had ended with fresh fruit and sorbet, a favourite of her mothers which she tolerated. Adelaide got up unsteadily and picked up the wine bottle and her now empty glass.

‘Time for the staff to lock up’ she announced ‘Your father’s in his room so I suppose that’s it for the night’ Madeleine nodded and gestured to the serving staff to follow instructions. She saw that now might be a good time to question her mother about her recent absence.

‘Shall we go into the lounge, mother?’ she asked innocently ‘You can look over the garden plans and see what you think of the marquee arrangements.’ Adelaide smiled brightly – the idea of spending time with her daughter obviously appealed to her.

‘Okay darling, let’s do that’ she replied. Madeleine nodded to the staff

‘Ask Maria to fetch the binder from my study would you?’ she asked. She didn’t want to lose sight of her mother in case she forgot where she was going in her alcoholic daze. She rose and went to her, gently taking her elbow and steering her in the right direction. Her mother smiled fondly and patted her hand.

‘You always were such a good child, Maddy’ she rambled ‘I know your father was strict with you, but I never had to say a cross word to you, darling’ Madeleine cringed, remembering drunken rants and times when her father scolded or disciplined her and her mother stood by. It took only moments to get to the huge lounge, high ceilinged, with windows looking out over the lawns and tasteful vintage décor – vintage in the sense that much of the furniture was antique and priceless.

Adelaide had difficulty focussing on the plans her daughter showed her, but she wasn’t worried about that. She continued to drink the contents of the wine bottle she had brought with her.

‘Mother, can’t you tell me what happened when you were away?’ she asked ‘I was worried about you, you know’ Her mother squinted at her.

‘What happened?’ she queried, and screwed her face up as if she was having trouble remembering. ‘Oh, well – that nice young man with Bas – Bastien’ she was having difficulty saying his name and hiccupped slightly ‘He said he’d take care of everything. I didn’t want to press charges, though he said I should’ here she looked suddenly melancholy ‘I didn’t want you to be ashamed of me’ She swayed slightly despite being seated on the antique chaise longue next to the marble fireplace.

‘Press charges? What for?’ Madeleine asked as her mother tipped her glass to her lips and emptied it. She put it back down on the table with a thump.

‘You know’ she slurred ‘for trying to bump me off’ Madeleine felt her breath catch.

‘Someone tried to kill you?’ she asked, aghast ‘How – why?’

‘s’not important’ Adelaide asserted ‘What is important is that I’m back home and they caught up with them – and it turns out the Greek police want them anyway, so when the Guard have finished with them they’ll hand them over’ she smiled and spread her hands out ‘Problem solved’ She tipped the bottle upside down, squinting at it. ‘Empty’ she said with regret ‘Time for bed’

‘But mother…’ Madeleine started, but she realised she would get nothing more from her as she put the bottle and glass down, and got up.

‘Night night, sweetie, don’t let the bed bugs bite’ she slurred, and teetered off out of the room. Madeleine was left alone with her thoughts. Tomorrow all three of them would go to Portaviera for the fashion show, and she had questions. She had also seen the stranger with Bastien at the Lantern festival, and wondered who he was and what part he had in her mother’s trip to the hospital in whatever godforsaken country she had visited. She needed information, and she knew where she could get it.

-------

‘What do you mean, all of them?’ Penelope’s voice was shrill. She had been so excited to host the fashion show, and now it was all falling apart in front of her eyes. The models had arrived together, hired from a modelling agency, and as soon as they arrived at their hotel one by one they had fallen sick, and the highly contagious norovirus stomach bug had been diagnosed. Their hotel had been isolated and all guests quarantined to prevent the spread any further. Luckily the clothes had been transported separately and the stylists, dressers and designers were in other accommodation and were unaffected.

‘I’m sorry Miss Ebrim’ the event organiser said ‘We don’t have anyone to model the clothes’ The duchess felt her stomach go into knots and her knees go weak

‘What can we do?’ she squeaked ‘Everything’s set up, the guests will be arriving in a few hours’

‘Now then Penny, stay calm’ her mother soothed ‘We can ask if any of the staff would consider helping. I’m sure some of them are the right size’

‘But they’re not professionals, mother’ she croaked ‘Everything’s ruined’

‘Nonsense’ Emmeline replied ‘It will be different – novel. Everyone will think how intriguing it is, especially if we recruit one or two lesser nobles. Why, I’m sure Lady Hana or Kiara would help out’ Penelope moaned and passed her hand over her forehead.

‘We need men to model some of the lines’ she said faintly ‘How are we going to organise it all?’

‘I’ll get onto my housekeeper’ her mother said ‘We still have time to pull this all together’

#silver service #bastien lykel #OC x Bastien #sophia x bastien #madeleine #adelaide #king liam #liam x olivia

[justfinishedreading]

I started October thinking ‘man, I have so many manga to review I’m going to be posting stuff every other day!’. Didn’t happen.

A Bride’s Story, Volume 1, by Kaoru Mori

This manga is set in nineteenth-century central Asia, along the Silk Road, it’s the story of a twenty-year-old woman sent from her nomadic tribe to marry a twelve-year-old boy in a settled clan. They arrange the marriage in order to maintain family bonds between the two households.

This was never going to be an easy read but let me start with the positive; visually A Bride’s Story is utterly beautiful, Kaoru Mori draws with a level of detail I have never before encountered in manga. Written literature is often placed above graphic novels with the excuse that there’s more artistry and depth when a world is bring created solely through vast amounts of words rather than images, and yet here is a case where literature could never compete. The written word could never compete with Mori’s exquisite illustrations of nomadic dress, patterned carpets and wood carvings. In A Bride’s Story we get a full visual experience of a culture and way of life that is now rare.

Story-wise this manga falls neatly into the ‘show, don’t tell’ approach of storytelling: lesser mangas would have the characters openly and plainly discussing themes, telling the audience exactly what they should think and what they should take away from the book, but A Bride’s Story presents this time and culture in a neutral way, with both negatives and positives alongside each other, leaving the reader free to assess their own feelings.

Spoilers ahead

Amir, the female protagonist, is warmly welcomed into her new husband’s family. When we think of a young woman having to marry a child in our minds the situation is horrific, to not be able to choose your own husband and on top of that to be forever tied, socially and legally, to a child is the sort of thing made for tragedy. Luckily for Amir her new husband, twelve-year-old Karluk, is good-natured and is full of admiration for his wife. Amir came from a nomadic tribe, she can shoot rabbits with a bow and arrow whilst ridding a galloping horse, she knows how to travel the lands, rear sheep and skin animals. Karluk sees her like a hunter, almost like a warrior, and he sees her like a mother in the way she frets and worries about his health and looks after him.

Amir is lucky because her new family openly accepts her and they view her differences with curiosity and wonder. They are a large family who have created a safe, happy home and together they work to keep it in peace. So the fears that the reader might imagine about an arranged marriage with such an age gap are not necessarily the ones that appear. The antagonists are actually Amir’s own clan, who realize that there’s a potentially more advantageous match to be made and intend to remove her from her current situation and marry her off to someone else.

Another nice surprise is that although this is a patriarchal society in which men make the life-changing decisions, we do a great character in the matriarchal grandmother of Karluk’s family, who displays a strength and resolve that even the men from Amir’s clan revere.

Onto the negatives: there’s a scene in which Amir is telling Karluk to strip naked because out in the desert, in a yurt, it is common practice to sleep nude because it gets very cold and it is warmer to sleep skin to skin. Karluk is clearly uncomfortable with this. Amir’s naked breasts are exposed and sexily drawn. In the next panels we see that sleeping naked together makes Karluk think of lambs sleeping snuggled to their mothers and for him there is nothing sexual in this experience. While the scene is implying that their relationship is more of mother and child, it is still a shock to see Amir’s naked adult body, and it makes us wonder what will happen when Karluk becomes physically more sexually mature but not necessarily mentally mature.

Japan has a deep-rooted obsession with sexualizing youth, it is something that comes up often in manga, anime, literature and media, and I’m always weary of when it might be sneaking its ugly head in more subtle ways. For example a couple of months ago I watched Beastars, which is a anime about anthropomorphic animal-humanoids (e.g. like Zootopia) and while I enjoyed the anime, there was something disturbing about the central couple; a wolf and a bunny rabbit. Compared to the large size of the humanoid wolf the small humanoid bunny looked child-like. The size thing and species thing is done to create sexual tension between the large scary wolf and the cute sweet little bunny, but there was something about the bunny’s small yet sexually developed form, in a school girl uniform, next to an adult-looking man, which just rang alarm bells. Interestingly I think the manga handles this better as the bunny’s body isn’t drawn in such a sexualized and realistic way as in the anime. In the anime there are moments where there is definitely a subtle catering to paedophilic appetites, especially as issues of uncontrollable desire and danger and predator and prey are brought up.

Back to A Bride’s Story, I don’t feel that this is a book that encourages or excuses paedophilia, it is presenting us, in a neutral way, with things that would have happened at the time. When Karluk presents his wife to some distant family members they are shocked, not with the fact that Karluk at age twelve is already married but because a twenty-year-old bride is considered an old bride. The custom is to marry women off young so they have longer to produce children. At the back of the book in the Author’s Notes Mori writes that women would normally be married at the age of 15 or 16, and beside this comment the author has drawn a picture of a young bride, with the following remark “Hey you! Yeah, you, big guy, looking at her like that! Let’s step out into the hallway and have a talk!” So while there’s no direct comment about paedophilia or the sexualization of youth, this one comment does hint that the author is aware of the issue in society, past and present.

One of the things that I am looking forward to in the series is that it will not centre just on Amir and Karluk’s relationship, it seems that other volumes will introduces other bride’s stories, including women who are lesbians or bisexuals and women who perhaps do not identify with a female gender. There is a secondary character in volume 1 called Smith, an Englishman who is studying the culture and customs of Central Asia and I believe that as he travels to different countries this may be how new storylines are introduced to us.

One difficulty I had in reviewing this manga was that I kept wanting to say it is about people from a specific country, however nowhere in the book does it say in which country the action takes place. In a way this is a western problem, it is an understatement to say that many, many a problem has arisen from the West’s desire for defined borders in countries where, at the time, it was not common to have them, places where tribes moved about depending on the seasons and trade. So after some brief research I believe this book explores the cultures of Mongol Nomads, of countries such as Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan that make up Central Asia, and with the potential of exploring influences from neighbouring countries such as China, Russia, Iran and Afghanistan. In the Author’s Notes she also mentions being interested in the Caucasus region of Central Asia, so that may also be countries like Armenia, Azerbaijan and Georgia, and the Caucasus Mountains which create a natural border between Eastern Europe and Western Asia.

One thing is for sure: since A Bride’s Story follows the path of the Silk Road, the crossroads from which Europe and Asia traded, it promises to be a wonderful melting pot of traditions and ideas.

Review by Book Hamster

#just finished reading #a bride's story #kaoru mori #central asia #historical fiction #historical manga #brides #manga #read manga #manga reviews #silk road #kazakhstan #kyrgyzstan #tajikistan #turkmenistan #uzbekistan #original mangas #unique manga #arranged marriages #marriage stories #feminism #patriarchy #tribes #families #nomadic #amir and karluk #matriarch #clans #mongol #nomads

[misslisterkeepsajournal]

1826 Monday 17 April

6

11 1/2

At my desk at 6 1/4 - made some alterations in and additions to my letter to Mr Parker - to get me the money £65.6.1 if possible - if not, to secure £60 on the road, to receive the remaining sum of £5.6.1 and get me a proper agreement (for payment of the rents and interest) on a stamped paper - Sent this letter and Washington’s statement of the money due to me by George at 8 1/2 directed to ‘Messieurs Wiglesworth and Parker solicitors the Square’ - 

Then sat down to write to M- [Mariana] had just written 2 1/2 pages explanatory of what I had said to Steph, when Cordingley brought me up a letter from her (King Street Scarbro’) 3 pages the ends, and 1/2 the 1st page crossed - She has got the little room to herself and is comfortable - Dr and Mrs Belcombe and Anne and Tatham go to Boynton on the 1st of next month - Mrs Milne and Eliza to the house in Petergate today or tomorrow-week - M- to stay to convey them, and, after staying a couple of days in York, can leave Offley Crewe and Watson to Eliza’s care, and come here - but would like to be here a few days before we go to Northgate, and to let my aunt have her carriage to convey her - wishes to know if we can put off going for a few days if we cannot she seems to insinuate she will oblige me and come at the time I mentioned in my last - tell her by all means to stay, and take Eliza to York - and not to confine herself to a day - my father will be glad to get here, and I think it best not to alter our plans - but it is herself not her carriage we want - our neighbours have offered us carriages with beds, mattresses, or whatever we choose in them - mention the probability of Mr CL-’s [Charles Lawton’s] meeting her in York - He talks of taking a house for the summer at Hoylelake - she cannot bear it - tell her we now talk of going to Buxton the middle of June, and going abroad a month earlier than we before thought of -

Sent off my letter (3 pages the ends and under the seal - all the latter part very small and close) at 11 to ‘Mrs Lawton Dr Belcombe’s, King Street, Scarborough’ - then, having had my breakfast brought upstairs took it standing - Marian very soon came up to me to speak about immediately getting £120 to pay Mr Eadon’s interest

I knew she would have liked me to get it for them at the bank but I very kindly pleaded the next to impossibility our great debt there and want of money ourselves could not even make certain of it from Mr Freeman did not like to tell my aunt but quite at a stand for money myself though they had best keep East Riding concerns in the East Riding send to Mr Robinson or do as well as they could we were all straitened alike Marian had said she was sure they could pay me again in June at the rent day but thought I to myself I dare not meddle it will never do to intermix money matters in any way and prudence must get the better or else I could have got them the money from Freeman for half a word but I must make all appear to them as bad as possible I must be careful what I am about I took the opportunity of urging the expediency of Marian’s selling the estate etc etc and never saw her so little against yielding before perhaps she may come to her senses about it by and by I said a good deal to her and how impoliticly she has managed to be so cut out here for I am bound to dispose of the estate as I promised my uncle I would she says she has quite made up her mind to this and considers me as having it entail without the power of doing as I like with it all this is well -

Marian staid above 1 1/2 hour with me - I was really obliged to say I was very busy - Jackman came - spoke to him at the bottom of the stairs - he is going to the meeting today at Queen’s head of the Commissars of the Brighouse and Dunholme Gate road where I told him I had sent Mr Parker - Paid Jackman’s bill - This little alteration at Wellroyde (turning James Smith’s road for fetching his coals, out of the wood) has cost £1.6.2 1/2 - 16/10 for stones (our own cart led them, which makes at least 20/. difference) and 9/4 1/2 for Jackman’s labour - But the thing is worth it -

From about 1 to 4 1/2 wrote pages 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, and so far of this page - George brought me back from Whitley’s number 28 Edinburgh Philosophical Journal, and the address Rose the ‘horse-dealer, 2 Felton’s court, Salford, Manchester’ which M- could not tell me, so that I think I shall now write to him about the horses - From 4 1/2 to 5 1/4 wrote to Rose of Manchester describing Hotspur and Caradoc, asking him if he was in want of such horses, and asking him if, and for about how much he thought he could dispose of them for me, supposing them to answer my description - should he happen to be coming this way, beg him to call and look at Caradoc - then wrote verbatim the questions Rose wrote me down on Friday merely beginning with I was particularly desired to ask them and ending with ‘your early answer will much oblige sir your obedient servant A Lister’ I first thought of sending this to Longman and Co. now I think of sending it to Murray I have heard Whitley praise his liberality and say how gentlemanly he was - Wrote the last 8 lines - Dressed - dinner at 6 1/4 - Tea and coffee at 8 1/4 - afterwards settling accounts - Very fine day - Barometer 3 1/2 degrees above changeable Fahrenheit 49˚ at 10 10/60 p.m. at which hour came up to bed - Read the 1st 59 pages of Dr Clark on the Climate and diseases of the South of France, Italy, etc

Reference: SH:7/ML/E/9/0087

#anne lister #anne lister code breaker #gentleman jack #1826 #marian lister #mariana lawton #mariana belcombe

[flowrxchild]

🌼Get To Know Me Tag🌼

Thanks @satans-helper for tagging me!!! This is gonna be a long one so if anyone feels it’s necessary, please tell me to shut up! oke doke les do it❤️

1. What’s your middle name?

Olivia!

2. How old are you?

20, very cool and very funky years..

3. When’s your birthday?

January 8th

4. What’s your zodiac sign?

Capricorn 🐏 also an Aries rising, Libra moon if anyone cares lol

5. What’s your favourite colour?

Rn it’s yellow!

6. What’s your lucky number?

Ok I rlly gotta pick one soon cuz I just don’t have one lol

7. Do you have any pets?

Used to have a chubby brown lab but she was an old girl:( BUT recently I have fed a stray cat enough for him to come back everyday so he is now mine by Ricky Law™️

8. Where are you from?

Toronto, Canada baybee

9. How tall are you?

5’5

10. What shoe size are you?

7 and a half? I think?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Not that many like 5 tops lol

12. What was your last dream about?

Last night I dreamt about going horse back riding?? I woke up like ...she’s a horse girl, I knew it..

13. What talents do you have?

I can draw/paint?? Also I’m a pretty snazzy photographer

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I’m definitely intuitive...I’ve experienced some very strange coincidences in my life...

15. Favourite song?

Jimi Hendrix’ Voodoo Chile

16. Favourite Movie?

Moonrise Kingdom

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

*stares in Josh Kiszka yearn*

18. Do you want children?

Erm not sure yet

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Lol I want whatever the opposite of a church wedding is..

20. Are you religious?

Nope.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes. I’m so clumsy I am a danger to myself at this point...

22. Have you ever gotten in trouble with the law?

No I’m literally a baby chicken and will cry if u raise ur voice at me

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Not formally? I’ve seen a lot of random celebrities just walking around tho cuz I live in a big city

24. Baths or showers?

Showers, practically but I love me a good bath now and again

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Im not wearing any ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ;-) Sam Kiszka tease ;-) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

26. Have you ever been famous?

One time my painting was put into a community art gallery and they took my photo for the local newspaper except they made the centre fold of the page fold into the picture around my face so it got all distorted and it was like when Mike Wazowski was in the Monsters Inc commercial...

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Not rlly..

28. What type of music do you like?

Rock, folk and indie but I will listen to anything

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yes. Me and my friends do it every year as a cottage tradition!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

3...I need to be snuggled AND supported

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I don’t sleep unless I curl up into the smallest ball possible like a friggin cat

32. How big is your house?

She smol

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Literally just coffee most days. I love anarchy

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nope. Don’t have the desire to either.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

I have not but I’ve always wanted to!

36. Favourite clean word?

Cozzy

37. Favourite swear word?

Cunty but like as an adjective

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Not rlly sure...probably only a day. I’m a very sleepy person

39. Do you have any scars?

Yep

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

If I told you, they wouldn’t be secret ;-)

41. Are you a good liar?

No not at all. My face gives it away so badly

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I like to think so. My first impressions of people tend to be true.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Ya but not well ahsgag

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I don’t think I do, but my family from the states always says we have the stereotypical “Canadian accent”.

45. What is your favourite accent?

I loooove Irish accents. I find them very pleasing to hear!

46. What’s your personality type?

INFP-T to be precise

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

My prom dress I think? I got it a Free People for 90$ and at that store, that’s a steal...

48. Can your curl your tongue?

Yeth

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

If this is referring to my belly button then, innie

50. Left or right handed?

Right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Ew ya

52. Favourite food?

Ok my fave food is also my fave foreign food and it’s Indian!

53. Favourite foreign food?

^

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

messy...ITS CAREFUL CHAOS OK?

55. Most used phrase?

I really am not sure...

56. Most used word?

probably ‘like’. Yes I’m gen Z, yes I have trouble articulating my thoughts. And what about it???

57. How long does it take you to get ready?

I need at least an hour...I like to plan

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I don’t think so??

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

If you bite lollipops, you’re in jail now, I don’t make the law.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Yes, I’m the funniest person I know.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Yes, funny you ask, I’m not only the funniest person I know, but also North America’s greatest entertainer!

62. Are you a good singer?

No! But I will preform for myself and the spiders living in my room. Yes, we exist!

63. Biggest fear?

Losing the people I love, being trapped.

64. Are you a gossip?

No yuck i hate it.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

this is too broad and difficult but The Witch. It’s spooky and dramatic.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I don’t rlly have a preference...

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Probably if I try really really hard lol as a Canadian, this is a good road trip game

68. Favourite school subject?

Art or English!

69. Extrovert or introvert?

Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No but something about makes me anxious

71. What makes you nervous?

I would really love to find something that doesn’t make me anxious. Let’s start with that.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

No! I find it comforting sometimes actually

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Depends. I hate confrontation so I only do it if it really matters...

74. Are you ticklish?

Ok I wanna know who isn’t! Like whomst is not ticklish??

75. Have you ever started a rumour?

I hope not...I would feel very stinky

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

If by authority you mean telling my sister to get out of my unassigned-assigned spot on the couch even though my voice cracks a little as I do it causing her to laugh even harder, than yes.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yes. *police sirens grow closer*

78. Have you ever done drugs?

I have done a weed or 2. Yes

79. Who was your first real crush?

My neighbour lol

80. How many piercings do you have?

3! My ears and also my cartilage! Used to have my septum, but it caused me too many problems so i let it grow over :(

81. Can you roll your R’s?

Ya!

82. How fast can you type?

So fast *spongebob voice* wanna see me do it again?

83. How fast can you run?

I would probably be the first to go in a horror movie

84. What colour is your hair?

Dark brown

85. What colour are your eyes?

Brown

86. What are you allergic to?

Nothing substantial.

87. Do you keep a journal?

Ya I do!

88. What do your parents do?

My mums a school secretary and my dads a fraud investigator

89. Do you like your age?

U know what, ya..I can’t complain.

90. What makes you angry?

Injustice and rudeness

91. Do you like your own name?

Ya I don’t mind it

92. Have you already thought of baby names if so what are they?

I mean I have names that I like but it’s not something I write down so I always forgot lol

93. Do you want a boy or a girl child?

I really couldn’t care less

94. What are your strengths?

Physically, I’m a sack of bones with the upper body strength of a new born baby but I like to think my sense of humour makes me tolerable *finger guns*

95. What are your weaknesses?

I am one frightened human bean.

96. How did you get your name?

Tru story: throughout my moms whole pregnancy, everyone including the doctors were convinced I was gonna be a boy because they could never get a clear look at me in the ultra sounds so my parents had only picked out boy names until I was born to which they changed their choice of “Eric” to Erika :))

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not at all lol

98. Do you have any scars?

Did I already answer this one? I think I did?

99. Colour of your bedspread?

White with pink floral pattern! (From ikea lol)

100. Colour of your room?

It’s an off-white

Ok I wanna tag these lovely beans @pe2chie @turntonightfirelight @camomillacatalina @witchgoddess @blackdressedtinyone 💗💗💗

#tag game #get to know me tag #ty!!

[pinelife3]

The Silence of the Girls

Pat Barker’s newish (August 2018) book The Silence of the Girls (TSOTG) recounts the final months of the Trojan War, as told by a slave woman. The obvious companion piece to TSOTG, and the key text Barker is responding to, is The Iliad, but Barker doesn’t pull out the way Homer did:

The Iliad only covers a few weeks in the last year of the war and does not include the famous Trojan horse or the actual defeat of Troy: at a high level, The Iliad covers Agamemnon’s lady troubles, the plague, Achilles’ sulking and decision not to fight, the death of Patroclus, Achilles’ return to battle, the death of Hector, the abuse of Hector’s body and Priam’s visit to Achilles.

TSOTG covers these events (also starting in media res - more on that later) from the perspective of Briseis. Our protagonist, formerly the wife of a king, was taken during the sacking of a city neighbouring Troy and was given to Achilles as a prize - like all of the women in the Greek camp, she is a slave. Barker and Briseis continue on after the burial of Hector to include the fall of Troy (no mention of the horse though...) and the rape and destruction which followed including the fate of Astyanax, the Trojan women being handed out as prizes, and the Greeks eventually setting off to return home.

I mention the famous events from the Trojan War above, but in TSOTG most of these happen off screen (out of our protagonist’s line of sight) and are reported to us as gossip spreading around the Greek camp. The reader is stuck in the camp with the women and doesn’t see any of the excitement and action on the battlefield (except for when Briseis climbs on the Myrmidon ships to see the battlefield in the distance). The reader is also privy to a lot of ‘girl talk’ amongst the women as they discus their experiences with the Greek soldiers: who’s pregnant, who’s beloved, who’s in favour. So despite hitting the same broad plot points, we are kept away from the iconic set pieces of the war, and instead get a tour through the backrooms where women do laundry, pray, and heal the injured soldiers. 

When we studied Wide Sargasso Sea in high school, it became part of an interesting conversation on high-lit fan fiction: Jeans Rhys reveals the mysterious mad woman in Rochester’s attic, and she shows us how he drove her mad. More than a hundred years after Jane Eyre was published, Rhys, a Dominican author, chose to get into it with one of the stodgiest pieces of English literature out there. She introduced new themes of colonialism and undermined Rochester as the Byronic hero. I don’t think anyone will read Barker’s text that way - Homer’s works and the Bible are so canonical that referencing or interacting with them feels like it doesn’t count as fan fiction (has anyone ever argued that Paradise Lost was fan fic?). Because Barker is a serious author with a Booker Prize on her shelf, they call TSOTG a ‘retelling’ rather than fan fic, but what is more fan fic than recounting a famous story from another character’s perspective? 

For reference: Stephanie Meyer has done this twice to her own novels. She retold Twilight from Edward’s POV in Midnight Sun and wrote a gender flipped version of Twilight called Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined. From Wikipedia, it seems like a pretty straight-forward find and replace job: Life and Death tells the story of 16 year old Beaufort Swan who moves from Arizona to Washington to live with his dad - on his first day at school, he meets the beautiful and mysterious Edythe Cullen... 

^^ It’s fun to laugh at Twilight but remember this: Bon Iver recorded a song for the soundtrack. The New Moon soundtrack also featured Death Cab for Cutie, Thom Yorke, Grizzly Bear and a bunch of other bands with legitimate indie credibility (Pitchfork still gave it a 5.4) - why did they agree to be on this soundtrack? They must be getting approached for this kind of work all the time and New Moon’s budget was not huge - only $50 million so it’s not like they would have been offering obscene cash. Probably a mystery for another time...

Most of Barker’s works deal with war in some capacity. The only other book of hers which I’ve read is Regeneration. In that book, Barker riffs on historical figures, places, events, and literary works as she explores the impacts of WWI on returning English soldiers suffering PTSD. There are a lot of complicated ideas moving around and bumping up against each other - it’s like she’s playing a 20 string guitar or jamming out on a 40 piece drum kit or something: she’s just super masterful and it’s a good read but also interesting to look at how she achieved it technically. It’s a super satisfying book to explore and think about and probably my favourite war book (maybe tied with Slaughterhouse 5).

In TSOTG, she’s still interested in war, but now she’s looking more closely at the impacts of war on women. In a way, TSOTG seems kind of blunt and stupid in its handling of war compared to Regeneration. Barker is so focused on proving that women had it bad during the war and trying to deromanticise the Greek warriors, that she depicts all the men (except Patroclus and Achilles) as childish brutes: they’re capricious and proud, they’re rough and inconsiderate, they take offence easily, they eat messily and they drink too much. We never see them in action on the battlefield, so the one thing they’re good at is hidden from us: we don’t get to admire their magnificence but when they die, the women make fun of their shriveled cocks. Of course, we see this through Briseis’ biased eyes (fair enough given her situation), but what she reports of their behaviour is pretty bleak. No one has a rich interiority: they just fuck, shit and fight. It seems like Barker’s argument is that the men must be assholes because they rape their slaves. But we know that’s not how it works: the men raped their slave women because that was the cultural norm but beyond the raping they were average guys. In fact, the raping and slaving made them average. Not heroes, not assholes. Just 1100BC guys.* 

(*This isn’t ‘boys will be boys’ - if anything it’s historical relativism. I’m not saying it’s average because they were guys, I’m saying it’s average because it was a long time ago. Remember, Jesus was a radical thinker with all his wacky ideas about compassion and love - and he was still more than a 1000 years away. The Greeks were very advanced in some ways, but their culture relied on slavery - at a point you need to accept that that was their normal (bad by our standards, yes) and engage with them on their own terms otherwise you’ll never get anywhere in a conversation about their values.)

Barker retells this astonishing passage from The Iliad about three quarters of the way through TSOTG - just to set it up, Achilles killed Prince Hector and has been desecrating his corpse (dragging it behind his chariot) as vengeance for the death of Patroclus (Achilles’ closest friend). In ancient Greece, it was believed that you couldn’t pass on to the underworld until you’d had a proper burial. Beyond being disrespectful, the abuse of Hector’s body torments his family because it means Hector cannot pass peacefully to the afterlife. Growing desperate, Hector’s father King Priam has snuck out of Troy and come to the Greek camp to beg Achilles to return Hector’s body:

Priam found the warrior there inside ... many captains sitting some way off, but two, veteran Automedon and the fine fighter Alcimus were busy serving him. He had just finished dinner, eating, drinking, and the table still stood near. The majestic king of Troy slipped past the rest and kneeling down beside Achilles, clasped his knees and kissed his hands, those terrible, man-killing hands that had slaughtered Priam's many sons in battle. Awesome - as when the grip of madness seizes one who murders a man in his own fatherland and flees abroad to foreign shores, to a wealthy, noble host, and a sense of marvel runs through all who see him so Achilles marveled, beholding majestic Priam. His men marveled too, trading startled glances. But Priam prayed his heart out to Achilles: "Remember your own father, great godlike Achilles - as old as I am, past the threshold of deadly old age! No doubt the countrymen round about him plague him now, with no one there to defend him, beat away disaster. No one - but at least he hears you're still alive and his old heart rejoices, hopes rising, day by day, to see his beloved son come sailing home from Troy. But l - dear god, my life so cursed by fate ... I fathered hero sons in the wide realm of Troy and now not a single one is left, I tell you. Fifty sons I had when the sons of Achaea came, nineteen born to me from a single mother's womb and the rest by other women in the palace. Many, most of them violent Ares cut the knees from under. But one, one was left me, to guard my walls, my people  the one you killed the other day, defending his fatherland, my Hector! It's all for him I've come to the ships now, to win him back from you - I bring a priceless ransom. Revere the gods, Achilles! Pity me in my own right, remember your own father! I deserve more pity ... I have endured what no one on earth has ever done before - I put to my lips the hands of the man who killed my son." Those words stirred within Achilles a deep desire to grieve for his own father. Taking the old man's hand he gently moved him back. And overpowered by memory both men gave way to grief. Priam wept freely for man-killing Hector, throbbing, crouching before Achilles' feet as Achilles wept himself, now for his father, now for Patroclus once again, and their sobbing rose and fell throughout the house.

(Not sure about this translation but it’s the best I could find online)

So this scene plays out beat for beat in TSOTG, and it’s very moving and well done (well done by Homer originally - and Barker renders it well too), but Barker wants to make it about the women so in response to Priam’s famous line ‘I kiss the hands of the man who killed my son’, Briseis thinks: "And I do what countless women before me have been forced to do. I spread my legs for the man who killed my husband and my brothers.” Is she an asshole for thinking about herself in this moment? I understand what Barker is trying to do: elevate the suffering of the women to the same platform that the men have always had. But this is graceless. It’s not a competition. 

Another element I found frustrating was the suggestion in TSOTG that the Greeks regarded Achilles’ close bond with Patroclus as unusual - characters are scornful of Achilles’ relationship with Patroclus and make snickering jokes about them being gay. This is disappointing because I am sure Barker did her research and therefore she must know that ancient Greece was probably more accepting of homosexuality (at least between men) than society is today. The only whisper of controversy around their relationship was the ancient equivalent of the ‘who’s the bottom?’ question: the Greeks would have been curious about who was dominant and who was passive, but wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow at Patroclus and Achilles being together.

Frank Miller also choose to make his ancient Greeks homophobic in 300 and Alan Moore, always happy to play the expert, was quick to point out the mistake:

There was just one particular line in it where one of the Spartan soldiers—I'll remind you, this is Spartans that we're talking about—one of them was talking disparagingly about the Athenians, and said, ‘Those boy-lovers.' You know, I mean, read a book, Frank. The Spartans were famous for something other than holding the bridge at Thermopylae, they were quite famous for actually enforcing man-boy love amongst the ranks as a way of military bonding. That specific example probably says more about Frank's grasp of history than it does about his grasp of homosexuality, so I'm not impugning his moral situation there. I'm not saying it was homophobic; just wasn't very well researched.

Anyone with even a passing knowledge of ancient Greece would be familiar with their permissive attitudes toward homosexuality. Why did she choose to do this? I know she’s not homophobic because Regeneration sensitively observed the suffering of gay men, for example that minor speech impediments (lisps, stutters) manifested in men who were repressing their homosexuality. I don’t understand this choice from a woman who wrote maybe the best war book of all time.

TSOTG wraps up with a reflection on memory and the stories people want to hear:

I thought: Suppose, suppose just once, once, in all these centuries, the slippery gods keep their word and Achilles is granted eternal glory in return for his early death under the walls of Troy...? What will they make of us, the people of those unimaginably distant times? One thing I do know: they won’t want the brutal reality of conquest and slavery. They won’t want to be told about the massacres of men and boys, the enslavement of women and girls. They won’t want to know we were living in a rape camp. No, they’ll go for something altogether softer. A love story, perhaps? I just hope they manage to work out who the lovers were. His story. His, not mine. It ends at his grave... Once, not so long ago, I tried to walk out of Achilles’ story - and failed. Now, my own story can begin.

Through the sickening dramatic irony, I can pick out three points Barker is trying to make:

Achilles looms large, but Briseis is her own person and deserves her own story

This is the untold true story of what really went down during the Trojan War - the people aren’t ready for this heat but I, Pat Barker, will bring it to them regardless

This isn’t a love story, but if it were, it would be the authoritative and definitive Trojan War love story

Point 1: Briseis deserves her own story

As I mentioned earlier, TSOTG begins in media res - meaning unlike in Troy, we don’t see what the gang was doing before the fighting kicked off, the catalysts of the war, the journey from Greece, etc. The action begins mid-way through the war, mid-way through a day, mid-way through a battle as our protagonist, mid-way through her life, peers over the parapets watching the Greeks disembowel her countrymen. So TSOTG begins as Achilles enters Briseis’ life and ends just as he leaves it - it begins in media res because no one would want to hear about her boring ass life before incandescent Achilles walked into it. Briseis is most interesting when she’s talking about Achilles, watching him from afar, describing their awkward encounters, analysing his behaviour - sure, the story is from Briseis’ perspective, but she’s always looking at Achilles. Is Barker arguing that we should care about Briseis outside of Achilles? She can’t have it both ways! She can’t complain that no one cares about anything but Achilles and then tell a story centered around Achilles, make Achilles the most interesting character and - in a particularly weird move - allow him to narrate some chapters in the second half of the book. 

Point 2: This is the grittiest telling of the Trojan War that readers have ever had to grit their teeth through

The suggestion that this is ‘the untold true story of the women of Troy’ is totally bogus - exploring what the Trojan War cost women has been done. Euripides wrote the The Trojan Women in ~415BC, some 600+ years after when the Trojan War is estimated to have taken place (if it took place at all). It’s a tragedy which focuses on the Trojan women (Hecuba, Andromache and co.) as they process the death of their husbands, and learn what their fate will be (i.e. which Greek they will be gifted to). As with TSOTG, the action happens off-stage, out of the women’s line of sight and is reported to them by men as they come and go from the stage. It is a relentlessly horrible play: the centerpiece is the murder of Hector’s baby son Astyanax (Odysseus throws him from the walls of Troy) and the women’s response to this terrible news. 

It seems like Barker also takes issue with modern narratives glossing over the rape, slaughter and slavery that occurred during the war - but even Troy (by no means an unromantic movie) makes these elements pretty explicit:

In the clip above, the Myrmidons have brought Achilles the newly enslaved Briseis in case he would like to rape her. The slavery and rape threat elements are there. Is Barker saying that she wants to see the rape? Does this scene somehow read as romantic because he chooses not to rape her? Rape is being used more and more, especially in TV, as a way of creating realism in fantasy shows - and people do seem to have an appetite for it (see: Game of Thrones, Outlander). So her suggestion that modern audiences want a sanitised version of the war doesn’t work for me. 

Point 3: This isn’t a love story. It’s about rape. But also... don’t you just love Achilles?

Quoting from Briseis’ final words again:

No, they’ll go for something altogether softer. A love story, perhaps? I just hope they manage to work out who the lovers were.

Sounds pointed. Barker is implying someone out there got the lovers wrong. It can’t be Troy because they went with the Achilles/Briseis angle too, so is she referring to Madeline Miller? Miller’s 2011 novel The Song of Achilles is a love story focused on Patroclus and Achilles (disclosure: I haven’t read it). As I mentioned earlier, Barker, going against all evidence we have about ancient Greece, chose to make her Greeks homophobic. She does touch on Achilles and Patroclus’ famous intimacy, but frames it more as some kind of preternatural closeness which goes beyond brothers or lovers. In Barker’s defence, Homer never explicitly said that Achilles and Patroclus were lovers, but the suggestion of it is certainly part of the canon. I had a high school Classics teacher who scoffed at Troy because she thought Achilles should have been banging Patroclus instead of Briseis. 

Also: since we’re talking about a ‘rape camp’, were there really many lovers?

For a feminist take on The Iliad, this book has some weird gender politics. Achilles rapes our protagonist - a lot. He’s childish, he has mummy issues, he’s abrasive and fussy - but we want Briseis to win him over! We want Achilles to notice her. He’s so magnetic, even if you write him as a spoiled pig, he’s still Achilles. He’s the coolest guy in school. He’s the rower with big shoulders. He wears his hat backwards. He comes to school on Monday with a black eye. He doesn’t know anything about computers. He says he likes Hemingway. He smells good without deodorant. His socks never stay up. If you walk beside him in a hallway, you can feel heat radiating from his body. His pouting and brattiness play into his magnetism somehow. I honestly think Barker might have fallen into the same trap as high school girls throughout history: we just love a bad boy. Want a glimpse into the terrifying mind of teenage girl? When I was 17, I dumped my high school boyfriend because he wasn’t enough like Achilles or Hector. People are romantic about the Trojan War, but that doesn’t mean they want a love story. 

#Homer #Troy #Trojan War #Pat Barker #The Silence of the Girls #Regeneration #Achilles #Briseis #Wide Sargasso Sea #Jean Rhys #Jane Eyre #Twilight #300 #Frank Miller #alan moore

[jonathangroffcentral]

In Conversation With Mindhunter’s Jonathan Groff

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty Images

Actor Jonathan Groff has already enjoyed a huge degree of respect and recognition for his previous roles in theatre (Hamilton and Spring Awakening), on TV (Looking and Glee) and also in film with the hugely successful Frozen. Lately however he has found a whole new audience, who are singing his praises for his outstanding performance as Holden Ford on Mindhunter. In my extended interview with Jonathan we talk about his early years, his first roles, working on Mindhunter, his thoughts on David Fincher’s directing technique and so much more. (x)

By Paula Courtney -  July 29, 2018

PC: So how are you?

JG: I’m doing well. I’m in Pittsburgh.

PC: I’m in Edinburgh: have you been?

JG: I’ve never been.

PC: Well you must put right that wrong.

JG: I know and there’s that famous theatre festival there.

PC: Yes and it starts in about a month; actually it’s the worst time to come to the city: it’s jam-packed then.

JG: I have friends that have been over there during that time and they loved it there.

PC: It is really good because it opens the city up much more. We are getting a lot more cosmopolitan, in that the cafés and venues are open much later.

JG: And are you liking that or is it taking away its charm?

PC: I like it because it’s similar to when you visit other parts of Europe where you can be sitting outside at a cafe at 10 p.m. – guaranteed we don’t always get the weather. Especially on a Sunday, I don’t know about America but Sundays could be quite boring when I was a kid: there was nothing open, nothing to do. So yeah, I like it where it’s going.

JG: Nice.

PC: What about yourself: what kind of town is Pittsburgh?

JG: Well Pittsburgh is interesting, kind of like what you are saying about Edinburgh: where it has been becoming more cosmopolitan, probably in the last decade or so; it’s sort of like Hipster Land now. It was a kind of big, industrial town and then it crashed and now there’s cool coffee shops and bike stores. There are actually really incredible restaurants! My friend actually has a place in New York called Caselulla, it’s on 52nd and 10th, (it opened when I was doing Spring Awakening back in 2007) and they opened a sister location in Pittsburgh. So there are people from all over the culinary world coming and taking up space there, which is interesting.

PC: In the past British food was slated for being bad but it’s turning around nowadays, which is great. Having said that some food in these fancy places I’m like, ‘What even was that?’ (Both laugh)

I always like to begin an interview talking about the person’s name. I’ve read your middle is Drew: does that have any special reasons as to why your parents chose that or did they just like it?

JG: My mom wanted my first name to be Drew after her older brother. He just passed away a couple of years ago but yes, his name was Drew. My brother’s name is David; he’s my older brother. I think there’s Jonathan and David in the Bible, who were very close friends, and I think my mom and dad liked the name Jonathan and they associated it with the name David because of that.

PC: You were born in Pennsylvania: what was it like growing up at the time you were aged around 8 -10 years old? What kind of boy were you at that age?

JG: Life was good. My dad trains horses for a living in Lancaster PA. We didn’t live on a horse farm – our house was separate from the horse farm – but in the summer I spent a lot of time with my brother and our friends running around this kind of giant, grassy field on our farm. There was a corn crib there – a giant structure you put corn cobs in after you get them out of the field – that was always empty over the summer and we would climb and play in that. There were lots of little barns we would play in and horse stalls. The first play I ever did was when I was Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz in my dad’s barn: we sold tickets to our parents; we have video footage of people coming to the show. It was very kind of creative and ‘country’.

PC: Is that because you had to make your own fun, because you didn’t have access to museums, art galleries etc?

JG: Yes definitely. I mean, once we got a Nintendo in the late ‘80s that definitely took up a lot of time as well. For better or for worse my brother and I spent a lot of time on the Nintendo, but my mom and dad were very athletic and cool, and they really liked the outdoors, so my mom was always trying to get us out of the house and get us playing outside – took us on bike rides. We were outside a lot: for which I’m really grateful. I feel grateful that there really was a nice situation for us growing up because there was this horse farm, but there were fences all around it, so it wasn’t like we were just in the middle of nowhere. Our parents were always up on the top of the hill and we would go acres away and play: so it was a great balance of having independence, but not really. We could go off on our own but our parents were always aware of where we were, they didn’t always have their eye on us but it was a nice balance.

My mom grew up in a small town called Strasburg in Pennsylvania where she’d climb out of her back window and run through the streets and play. She tells all these stories about meeting her friends at the pool – just stuff you would never do now because it would be so dangerous for kids to roam the streets at 5, 6 & 7 but she grew up in a town where there was this level of freedom and independence that would just be impossible today, because now it’s way more populated.

PC: And also because people now often say they don’t even know who their next door neighbour is. In those days, where I grew up in England, it was really rough and there were some very unsavoury people but on the flip side there were more good people than bad, who looked out for each other and their families, so we could play out all day. Certainly where I live now we know our neighbours but I’ve heard lots of people say they don’t know theirs. When you have kids it is a fine balance: it can be a big bad world out there never mind what we see on Mindhunter…

JG: Yes.

PC: Did you have a nickname in school?

JG: I did not. I used to hate it in elementary school when people called me Jonny; I don’t know why I didn’t like that nickname.

PC: I suppose it would be just like Groffy or something, if you can add a ‘y’ to a name people do tend to do that.

JG: Yes, I have way more people now call me J Groffy, they call me JG, so I have lots of nicknames now but I didn’t have any in high school. In middle school which is 7-8th grade here (you know 10-12 years old) I was very obsessed with being cool and having the right clothes and going to school dances and hanging out with the ‘cool’ kids. I was very obsessed with the social ladder at age 11 & 12. And then, once I did the 8th grade play – which I guess I was maybe 12 or 13 at that time – I just found my love for theatre and then I didn’t care at all where I fit in the social scene.

PC: Really? Because you do look like the type who was in with the ‘cool’ kids.

JG: All of that kind of need and headspace that was taken up thinking of trying to be cool or whatever, was gone almost in a blink of an eye. As soon as I did the play it was like ‘boof’ and it was gone – all I cared about was theatre. Then there are these two great theatres in my hometown: one is called the Fulton Opera House, which is a regional theatre where they would have actors from New York come down and perform in the plays; and then there’s another theatre called the Ephrata Performing Arts Center, which is a community theatre which would hire local actors. So once I was 13-14-15-16-17-18 I spent all my free time after school working at those theatres, whether that was playing parts or being in ensembles in the musicals or working with as backstage crew. I just became obsessed with theatre and acting and then that’s all I did, all I could be about, throughout high school. I had friends in high school and I would do the high school plays and stuff but I spent all of my social time at these theatres – I had a handful of friends at high school that I connected with but I wasn’t quite as involved – I was always thinking about theatre outside of school.

PC: You were always going to be an actor it seems, weren’t you?

JG: Yeah I thought I wanted to be an actor when I was in the barn playing Dorothy at 4 or 5 years old but then, once that 8th grade play happened, and I started meeting people in the community that were from New York who made their lives being actors, that’s when I really became keen on the idea of pursuing that.

PC: What was it that drew you? I mean: are you sort of the sort of person that likes to be in the spotlight, did you like the confidence it gave you or the closeness you feel with people when you are in a play? I was an amateur stagehand at one point and there was always a feeling of being lost after a play run finished.

JG: For me, the desire to act always comes from a place of play, imagination and daydreaming and play, and all of that is really where that joy comes from, and it just has really always turned me on. You know everybody acts for different reasons: people act from a place of pain, expression – a sort of exorcism of that – but for me it’s always come from a very joyful place and a sort of place of imagination. I think there was a part of me… you know I was not out of the closet when I was in high school and I wasn’t living fully a gay life until I was 19 – that was the first time I was ever with anyone sexually and then I didn’t come out of the closet until I was 23 – so I also think there was an element of escapism in acting that probably helped me express myself when I was sort of not expressing myself, in retrospect. I think that was there definitely an element of it but even now (even with Mindhunter) I so enjoy playing ‘pretend’.

PC: I have spoken to a lot of actors who have said that acting is an escape for them: whether that’s from a terrible childhood or whose parents have said, ‘Acting is the last thing we want you to do.’

JG: My parents actually – when I was thinking of going to college and wanting to major in theatre – they encouraged me to not major in theatre, but to move to New York instead and just pursue acting. They said, ‘You know you love it and you have so much experience in community theatre and whatever, why not just go to New York instead of paying 40 thousand dollars to train in acting?’

PC: Yes. I interviewed an actor who has been in a couple of Quentin Tarantino productions and Quentin Tarantino said the same thing to him, ‘Don’t bother going to acting classes, just act wherever that may be and watch two films everyday.’ That worked out great for him.

JG: For me experience has always been the best learning tool and if you are lucky enough to be able to get experience… I’ve always learnt on the job, that’s always been the best way for me. Jumping in and trying it, and getting to work with different people and different directors and different actors and different musicians – and taking stuff from all of those experiences.

My parents, even though they are not at all in the arts, somehow instinctually knew that, aside from the fact they didn’t want to help me pay for college, (laughs) they really supported me: they knew it’s what I loved. My dad trains and races horses for a living and my mom was a physical education teacher, they centralised on things they were really passionate about. So when I said I wanted to be an actor – even though they didn’t know a lot about acting, the passion that I felt for that – I think they recognised that so they were very supportive in my pursuit of that as a career.

PC: It’s like what Holt [McCallany] said in his interview with me. Obviously his parents were in the business, but he said when he and his brother got to university level his mother said, ‘I will pay for you to study anywhere you want.’ She was that supportive – and of course he ended up in France. Amazing to have that kind of support.

JG: Yes it’s amazing! Holt and I have that in common actually. He was very close with his mother. It’s so funny because we often talk about how we spend all this time in Pittsburgh, when we are acting in Mindhunter, talking to these serial killers. One of the many consistent qualities is that they have all have troubled relationships with – mostly – their mothers, and how he and I have had just the opposite experience.

PC: Yes I know with Holt he couldn’t have been more loved, by the sounds of it. You wonder: would they have turned out differently had they had that love and support? I don’t know how much you have researched serial killers, but does that just apply to men, or is that a factor in female serial killers too?

JG: That’s a great question, most serial killers are men (at least the ones on Mindhunter are) I don’t [know] to be honest if female serial killers have a troubling relationship with their parents. We talk a lot about nature v nurture (that sort of age-old question) how someone naturally dotes when they’re young and then it’s their environment that cultivates the bad behaviour: is it more one than the other? I think it’s still a question people are still trying to answer and it’s one that we explore a lot on the show.

PC: I suppose if the show runs and runs eventually, if not this coming season, it will feature a female serial killer.

PC: So you said earlier about your parents being very into physical education: was there any pressure to do sports? And with your dad: he didn’t expect you or your brother to follow him into the horse business? What does your brother do?

JG: My brother runs a company in Lancaster PA: he is a businessman. We are very different from my parents. My dad actually comes from a long line of dairy farmers: he is the oldest brother of his family and he was meant to take over at the dairy farm; it would have been the appropriate next step for him. He was not passionate about dairy farming and he was not passionate about cows (was not a fan of cows) – cows are incredibly hard work and you have to be really into it. He didn’t want to do that so he found another avenue, through family friends, and discovered a passion for horses. He would not have wanted to demand that my brother and I go into the horse business because he was sort of permitted that freedom, as the oldest son, to get out and to do his own thing. He would have loved it if we were in the horse business. I’m sure that would have been amazing for him to have that happen – it would have been a great experience and a bonding experience for us – but it doesn’t always add up that way. We became close in a different way. He’s still racing the horses. And my mom: the great thing about her being a physical education teacher for my brother and I was, even though we didn’t go into teaching or Phys Ed in any way, she instilled in us passion for exercise and running; we were doing races when we were in elementary school, in 4th grade we were doing the three-mile run or whatever and when we were on vacation. She instilled in us that love of being active. She will be 64 in the Fall and she looks so young because she took care of herself and she exercises.

My brother, even though he is a businessman, gets up every morning and works out. Certainly, as an actor – for example on a show like Mindhunter – you get issued with your costumes at the beginning of the season, then we have 10 months of shooting and I can’t get fat! (Laughs) On the set there’s always food going around and I wake up every morning, religiously, and exercise, and that’s partially because it’s great therapy and it’s great to stay in shape, keep my mind clear or whatever and that’s a lot to do with the fact my mom gave me that habit when I was a kid.

Photo:: Ken Regan/©Focus Features

PC: What about horses? Did you get to ride any? Are you an accomplished horse rider or were they purely for breeding?

JG: No! Well my dad does harness racing so he’s not on their back, he’s behind them. So I’m sure if we had shown any interest at all, my brother and I, I’m sure that he would have gotten a horse we could have ridden around and that would have been really fun. But my mom kind of instilled in us a fear of being around the horses because, in those times that we were playing around on our own, she didn’t want us to go near the horses and get kicked. So we grew up with sort of this fear of horses, funnily enough, and then occasionally on Saturdays we’d have to shovel the horse poo out of the stall – just everything about the horses as a kid was what we would eye roll about. So we were never really around them.

The first time I had to ride a horse was for a movie I did called Taking Woodstock: which was my first film that I shot in 2008. It was directed by Ang Lee and the final shot of the film was me riding up this hill on a horse at sunrise. So I took some horseback riding lessons for a couple of months and I invited my dad to the set on the day that we shot the scene where I rode the horse up the hill and so it was this very proud moment, ‘Look Dad! I know how to ride a horse!’ I’m 33 now but I did get on a horse eventually and he was there to see me do it, which was a special moment.

PC: I’ve been on a horse a couple of times but it was really scary especially when they lower their heads to eat grass, it’s so scary.

JG: Oh totally and they feel your fear. I find them very skittish and very sensitive and you jerk the wrong way and they flip. Each horse has a different personality but as a whole they are very sensitive so the minute you are scared in front of them they are basically all over it, so trying to get ‘Zen’ and breathe…

PC: Are you a sucker for musicals, or theatre in general? In your free time would you go see a straight play or do you think musicals are so much better?

JG: Good question. I mean my heart is always in musicals, because that’s what I started [out] doing, but I was just in New York this week (I had a couple of days off so I went there) [and] I chose to see two straight plays. I love theatre in general. I’m a junkie – a total theatre junkie – pretty much anytime, anywhere, I love live theatre in any form. For me when a musical is great there’s nothing better. To successfully put a musical on and all the elements come together – the choreography, direction, music, orchestra and all of that – it’s just a miracle that a musical ever works (there are so many different elements to it) so when that is all kind of ‘cracking’ and it all comes together, there is nothing more exciting to me than that. I don’t discriminate: I love all live theatre.

PC: What was it like doing the voice-over for the character Kristoff for Frozen? How does that differ from other mediums, since you wouldn’t necessarily feel connected to the other actors like you would in a film or show where you are side by side? I assume they record the voice over segments separately?

JG: The big revelation for me was that doing a Disney film is the same as re-enacting a Disney film when you are a kid in your bedroom, because you are just totally alone in a padded room (‘now you’re in an ice storm’ so you have to pretend ‘Anna’) using your imagination; so it’s harking back to the days of me being in a room alone acting out Peter Pan or Mary Poppins.

PC: I’d never thought of it like that but yes you are right.

JG: I never met any of the other actors: well I’d met them but I never worked with other actors. I didn’t see them throughout the whole process until we were sitting there watching the first screening of the movie together. They cut it all together and that was very surreal to see how… You are really, as a voice actor in those animated films, a small piece of a big picture. There is so much work and so much effort goes into it and how it comes together is really just phenomenal. They videotape you while recording and then try to match your mouth with what the character does, and it’s pretty amazing.

PC: Did you cry when you watched the first screening?

JG: I think I did cry.

PC: You would have to be hard-hearted not to!

JG: My mom and I will still watch. I mean it’s been years (and now we are recording the second one) it still has not sunk in fully yet that I’m in a Disney animated film – very surreal.

PC: What about the technology they use in The Avengers for Ultron? Where they have sensors on the actor’s costume. That would be cool on Frozen.

JG: Motion capture you mean. They don’t use that on Frozen: they have a little video camera in the recording studio, so the animators can sort of reference if there is a gesture or something while you are making a vocal sound. They match the gesture, like if they are saying ‘Wow what was he doing there” they can reference it visually, but they also use their own faces as well. It’s just fascinating to watch the process. We had a session with the animators about where you breathe from and where you sing – what’s happening in your mouth when you’re singing as opposed to talking – to help them animate the singing part.

PC: Returning to family stuff: I read somewhere you have roots in England, Scotland and Germany. I have been burnt before where I’ve referenced something and it turns out there is no truth to it… so have you?

JG: No! Maybe I’m just not aware of it. (Laughs) Years ago we did one of those genetic test things with my family and I think we were West German; I think that’s where most of our DNA was from; I would have to go back and look at it.

PC: How has it changed for you in everyday life since Mindhunter blew up? Can you still ride the subway? Can you still go your doctor’s surgery and go shopping without wearing false glasses, nose and moustache?

JG: It hasn’t changed at all, not even a little bit. Yesterday I was in a coffee shop in Pittsburgh and the girl was saying, ‘Are you in Mindhunter?’ I have a very sort of ordinary white boy look and I don’t really have distinctive features that stand out in a crowd, so it’s great.

PC: I suppose, say someone like Johnny Depp, you might recognise straight away.

JG: Right. When I was in high school and I came to New York I saw Kristen Chenoweth. She is a famous musical theatre actress and she’s [done] some TV stuff – she is barely 5ft tall, blonde, just like this petite, little blonde girl, when she walks around she looks like she has a spotlight on her, just the way that she looks. I remember seeing her in Times Square, I went, ‘Oh my God! That’s Kristen Chenoweth!’ and went over to her and spoke to her and got her autograph. I don’t have that quality.

PC: I’ve asked that question before and other actors have said there are just so many famous people wandering around New York at any given time that it’s not the same like if you came to Edinburgh, you would be swamped. One actor told me he saw Bruce Springsteen in Manhattan and he was being a complete fan boy about him but he didn’t stop him and ask for his autograph even though he was dying to. Maybe people just leave you alone.

JG: Yeah, maybe.

PC: I always like to ask what life lessons has a person taken from their parents or grandparents. When the time comes, hopefully years and years away, when you look back and say, ‘Oh I remember this about my dad or this is why I’m this kind of person.’ You are obviously a nice person, a gentleman: has that rubbed off on you from your parents?

JG: The biggest thing would probably be discipline and the appreciation and sort of joy that you get from working hard: both my grandparents worked really hard; my parents worked really hard. When I was at that formative age 9-14, I would mow my grandmother’s lawn and I’d worked for my dad on his horse farm – they were always forcing us to do stuff we didn’t want to do. We were sort of like ‘ugh’ through all of those years when you are going through puberty and being forced to do manual labour. Then coming out of the other end of it and understanding the value of it and the sort of joy that you get from working hard and, when it’s over, feeling pride in what you achieved and looking forward to doing it again. That’s something my parents have that I know they took effort to instil into my brother, and I don’t know if that quality comes naturally or not in people, but it was definitely kind of forced upon us. Now it might show itself as being as simple as learning all your lines before you come to set, or being really prepared for an audition: just having that respect for yourself and respect for the people who you are working with so are prepared in doing the work. Doing the ‘math homework’ version of your job is something that my parents instilled in me when I was a kid, that I take with me. I remember my mom always saying, ‘It’s important to always make a good first impression.’ I remember ‘Have respect for people who are older than you’ was a golden rule – we talked a lot about that when I was a kid. But the biggest thing was probably the value of working hard.

PC: That is probably reflected in the fact that you didn’t want to go to university or whatever and just wanted to get in there, hands on, get your hands dirty and do the work.

JG: Yes, they instilled in me that desire to learn and work. From an early age I was such a sponge. Once I got to high school age, and was meeting those people from New York who were working in my hometown, I was just asking questions, then I was going to New York in my senior year of high school and then I finally moved to New York when I was 19 – taking classes and waiting tables. Getting the understanding: you get out what you put in; if you work really hard and put a lot in, that work takes you somewhere. Sometimes it doesn’t always take you where you expect it to go but it definitely helps.

I just read this really great book called The Creative Habit, by the choreographer Twyla Tharp, and she talks about her creative process and other people’s creative processes – other famous artists and how they do their work. She just really drives home the point that, no matter how lucky and brilliant someone is initially (and perhaps there is an artist who at one point, you know, just got lucky, they basically sneezed and became famous through something), she talked about if you want to have a long career, anyone that is considered an expert or quote ‘genius’ – brilliant at what they do – nine times out of ten they have a very intense work ethic and they work really hard at what they do. It’s a myth that some people are just brilliant and can do whatever they want. When you look at all the people who have had success, a lot of it is hard work, and I feel grateful that my parents have instilled that quality into me at a young age.

PC: Holt said about you, in his interview with me, that you always turned up on set with your lines learned – that was one of the things he admired about you.

JG: Well he’s the same way. I will never forget when we rehearsed our first scene (the first scene we shot together) it was where we were teaching at road school and we were talking. He was talking about motives and stuff and for the first rehearsal we were both off-book. We were set up ready to play and I’d never really met him before – I’d met his mom, we were familiar. But we got there and I went, ‘Wow! Okay, cool. This is going to be fun.’ You never know what your co-stars are going to be like, and he showed up and it was very clear we both had a similar kind of desire to do well. We wanted to come in and we wanted it to be good and we showed up ready to play and we just had so much fun the first season, because we both had this deep desire to do a good job, and to be there for each other, and to make something great. We wanted to fulfil David’s [Fincher] vision: we both have immense respect for him and what he does, and we just wanted to do well together.

PC: It’s a mutual respect you and Holt have. I asked him how he would describe you and he told me you were so ‘infectious’, as in: ‘Always happy, eager to work and a pleasure to work with from day one,’ those were his words. I asked him, if I ever spoke to you, how would you describe him? He replied, ‘Ah, you know, the grumpy one, the guy who arrives on set at 5 a.m. grumpy until I’ve had coffee.’

JG: That’s so not true! We are a very interesting pair because we are very opposite in many ways and sort of like it is in a show, sort of like an ‘Odd Couple’ dynamic between the two of us. But at the same time he makes everybody laugh.

PC: I love his deep, hearty laugh.

JG: Yes, he has that quality I don’t have where he’s always the life of the party, everybody shows up and he’s always telling jokes. He’s always like shooting the shit with the guys on the crew, making everybody laugh and smile. He’s just got this jovial, infectious energy that is just so specifically Holt – honestly I don’t know anybody else who has the energy that he has.

PC: He is so passionate as well when he speaks, you can hear it in his voice.

JG: Totally, totally and he’s incredibly intelligent.

PC: Yes he is, it is like when I watched the interview where he is speaking away in French and you are looking at him in wonder, like: ‘Where the hell did you learn to speak like that?’

JG: Oh my gosh that was a trip! We did this press tour. He’d talked about how he’d gone to school in Paris, he had a flat in Paris… He’d talked about all, but it had never occurred to me that he speaks fluent French! So we were in Paris on this press tour and all of a sudden he whips out this French – I was like: what?

PC: It is written all over your face.

JG: He just is endlessly fascinating and is constantly surprising.

PC: Some French people have told me he actually speaks the language very well, not some pigeon French.

JG: Yes! That’s what we were asking the Netflix people that were based in Paris, that were French – they were saying yes. They were like, ‘You do have an American accent but you speak the language so well.’ He’s just such a character that guy.

PC: I have such a soft spot for him. He goes out of his way to help people. He’s just lovely!

JG: He’s such an old school gentleman – they don’t make them like that anymore. He’s just got class. He would say this and credit it to his mom. She was Midwestern and very well-mannered; she had impeccable manners. She was very humble and very gracious, always thought about other people first. We don’t have that as much anymore: it’s very old-school. He’s like a guy from another time in a lot of ways. His nature and his manners are just very special.

PC: He is so nice with his fans too.

JG: His mom became a famous cabaret singer and she had very personal interaction with her fans. That’s part of the beautiful quality about him.

PC: Is Holt going to be your forever friend?

JG: Oh absolutely! Absolutely! We’ve gone to see a bunch of plays together in New York; we went to Shakespeare in the Park last summer.

PC: Yes, he was saying, ‘I will get Jonathan over when I go to London. He will drag me to all the plays and musicals. We will just spend the whole weekend at the West End.’

JG: Yes. When we were on the press tour in London, we went to go see a play. That surprises me because Holt doesn’t seem… I mean, even on Mindhunter, in the past he’s done all these action movies, he’s played a lot of cops, he’s played boxers, he plays a lot of meat-heads and so you wouldn’t guess that he’s very cultured, loves cabaret, friends with the writers of Kiss me Kate for example.

PC: Holt knows everyone like Liam Neeson and Clint Eastwood.

JG: I would kind of expect him to know those guys – that makes sense to me because those guys are action type actors, that to me I can understand but, for example, when we went to the memorial service for his mother, he knows Steven Brinberg, who is a cabaret artist famous for doing a Barbra Streisand impression. I was like, ‘How do you know Steven Brinberg?’ It’s just hilarious that he’s very close friends with him. When you know Holt’s body of work in action films you just wouldn’t put those two together.

PC: Yes I watched Holt on the Jimmy Fallon show he was teaching Fallon some boxing moves and he was very ‘New York’ Manhattan-like, very different to how he is. It’s that whole different perception of him, to what comes out of his mouth especially when he speaks French. Most actors I’ve spoken to have been lovely, but there is just something about Holt that is special. Actually all of the Mindhunter cast – and I don’t know if it’s coincidence or if it’s particularly driven that way but – (those we have dealt with so far) I think are really special. They are really supportive of each other. We have remained friends with a core group of them. I don’t know if these people were especially handpicked by David or the casting people with that element of being young and ambitious and kind. I have seen this once before that was in cast and crew members on NBC’s The Blacklist but it’s rare.

JG: Well I think David doesn’t have time for bullshit. He’s not going to waste time. He’s all about the work. He’s all about finding the best way to tell the story and has a hard-working discipline and I think partially intentionally (but maybe subconsciously) finds people that want to work. Not to have this thing lead into the next thing but to have them go work on specifically that job. Which sounds like obviously something everyone would do but. like you said, generally it’s not. I think David, whether it’s intentional or not, ends up surrounding himself with people that are there to work. In the case of Mindhunter, you’re right: it is a very special group of people and that’s partially just that simple fact that everyone is there because they want [to be there], they’re showing up to work and trying to make something that’s really good.

PC: Yes, and they are very supportive of each other’s work too, like when Cotter Smith and Jack Erdie did a play in Pittsburgh together recently, both David and Holt turned up to watch it.

JG: Totally.

PC: Tell me more about working with David Fincher. Obviously his name is on everyone’s lips nowadays and we know his style of directing – we all know he may shoot the same scene 70 times – but there’s much more to him than that. I always like to get information first hand, if I can. What kind of impression has he made on you?

JG: Well it’s just the whole idea, for me at least, [of] having complete faith and trust in someone and knowing that they are going to take you somewhere that is interesting, and working with him is different to working with anyone else. One of the reasons being that you go, ‘Okay, I will just do whatever you want,’ because I so believe in him and in his brain and in his vision, and his point of view, because he’s just proven time and time and time and time again – with all of his films and projects – that he’s one of the most interesting, creative people working today. So just to get the opportunity to be a part of his world is exciting and especially with this TV experience, particularly right now, in this very moment, it’s the first time he’s ever come back to a television show. He directed the first two episodes of House of Cards and he was Creative and Executive Producer on that show, but he never came back to direct it again. He very much had his hand in every episode on the first season of Mindhunter. We weren’t sure if he would come back and do the second season or not, because he has never done that before and now here he is, and we are working on the second season. Just to get that extended time with him and to see how… I guess the thing that is so inspirational about him is that he doesn’t sit back and go, ‘Okay, we know what we are doing. We know who these characters are. Let’s just continue comfortably down the road we were going down before.’

We came back to the second season and obviously some of the sets are the same, and we actually basically know who the characters are, where before we didn’t know what the show was yet – we were still making it. So there’s that element, which is great. But it’s still the same process as it was the first time around: it’s not laid back and comfortable; it’s not pressing the same notes; he’s really trying to move things forward and make things different, evolve it and grow it and change it as it goes along – that’s just an artist that is always searching, always changing and always asking the questions. He’s just always trying to get to a better version of the truth: in the writing, then in the shooting and in the editing, he just never stops working and never stops asking questions, and it’s just so rare to find someone like that.

PC: So how does it work that David Fincher directed the first two episodes and the last two: what happens in-between when he hands the reins over to another director but is obviously still on set?

JG: There’s a bit of a balance: you know he lets them do their thing and they are of course directing in the context of the world he created, so he can’t just hand it over.

PC: It’s not total control for them, he’s leading it?

JG: Yes, he’s set up the vocabulary of the show and the vocabulary of the shot and how the show is made, so they are allowed a certain amount of creative freedom, but in David’s world. In the first season he would occasionally come on set and help us stage certain scenes or certain shots in the morning, then he would leave and let us figure it out from there, or he would let the director set up their shot then give them notes later. He was literally in Pittsburgh for the entire year so his presence was there regardless of if he was on set or not. But then in rehearsals and stuff – because one of the other things about the show is we get a lot of rehearsals, we get to read through all the scenes with the writers before we shoot them – he’s there for all of those.

So we are always talking about the intention of the scene and what the intention will be on the day. He said this great thing on the first season that I’ve really stuck with: that when the writer is asking, ‘Why do we have to bang out every specific word of the scene before we start shooting?’ David talked about how, when you show up on set the crew gets the sides, the actors get the sides, the extras get the sides – everybody gets a copy of the sides – and everyone will have a different interpretation of what these sides mean and how the scene is going to look, so you want the scene to be as specific as possible once it gets into the hands of all those people. So that there is this innate direction of where the scene is going by the specificity of every word, of every line; and really taking the time to craft that out – so everyone getting their hands on those on the day, on set, is very important. Even just the attention to detail in that regard, in the writing and in the rehearsing, affects how the guest directors will then come on and direct the scenes because we spent so much time rehearsing specifically – exactly – what every line, and every word, is intended to express.

PC: Can you say to David Fincher, or the writers, ‘I don’t like this line,’ or, ‘This line isn’t something I feel Ford would say.’ A lot of writers are very precious about their work (and of course you wouldn’t do it just because you could) but would you be able to challenge a line and make a suggestion about what would fit better or is that totally off-limits?

JG: My sort of personal thing is to sit back and let it happen, let the evolution of the writing take its course without me saying… As an actor I find you think, ‘Oh I don’t know if I would say it like that?’ And then you start saying it ‘like that’ and it ends up being a great surprise; ‘I wouldn’t have thought I could sing like that but now this is actually adding a dimension I wasn’t aware of.’ So my tactics, certainly in this Mindhunter experience, is to let the writers write – and just because David is so involved and has the whole thing mapped out in his head, I’m pretty quiet during that part of the process. I just take the tack of: I’m just here to try and make whatever they give me work. That’s my own personal philosophy.

PC: I guess you’d have to struggle with yourself to imagine doing it better than the vision Fincher has in his head.

JG: It’s kind of going back to that thing of working with different people and being inside of different processes. I’ve done shows where they would say ‘Action’ and we would improv for about a minute into the scene and then we would get into the vibe of the scene and then improv out of the scene – and that was really fun, and stuff would come out that was really unexpected and great, and that they would use sometime in the edit or whatever. This process is the complete opposite of that – absolutely no improvisation – everything is planned within an inch of its life and like you said: when you are in the room with a brain like David Fincher’s, I’m just going to let him take the reins. For me at least that’s part of the joy of this process – being submissive to his brain.

PC: I hate asking questions you will have already been asked a 100 times or more but: how did you get the role, basically? I have read how it happened but I like to hear it from the horse’s mouth so to speak.

JG: I met David when I auditioned for The Social Network in 2008 and didn’t get it. Then I was doing Hamilton on Broadway and they sent me six or seven scenes (which are just pages of dialogue) and I put myself on tape in New York on a Monday or Tuesday, and then they responded immediately and had me put myself on tape again on Thursday, and then I flew myself to New York that Monday (it all happened in about a week) and sat with him in his office.

PC: What was that like? Obviously you had met him before but you must have been blown away thinking, ‘I could be the lead on a show that David Fincher is doing!’ Do you have to pinch yourself or do you feel you have earned it?

JG: It’s a total dream. I honestly didn’t believe that it was going to happen because it was too good to be true. Even when we were in rehearsals in LA, I really would go home and think, ‘I’m certain it’s not going to work out,’ and then we are shooting it and I’m thinking, ‘It’s still not…’ I was so excited about it. I just didn’t believe it was real until it came out, actually. It really wasn’t until about half-way through the season of shooting it – when it was clear that it was going forward – [that] I started to go, ‘Okay, this is really happening.’ Every step up until that moment I was too excited to let myself even think that it was real.

Photo by Eric Charbonneau/REX/Shutterstock

PC: Television is such a fickle world as well: you just can’t call what’s going to be a hit and what’s not. Obviously, because it had David Fincher attached to it, there’s going to be some sort of success but it’s not guaranteed.

JG: Totally! You never know what’s going to happen.

PC: I think I read that at the end of a day’s shoot you weren’t thinking, ‘Oh my God! There are all these serial killers going about!’ That, in fact, you were raring to get your teeth into the role you played. Did the things that you found out whilst filming affect you? Like when you are at home eating dinner: did the what’s and why’s cross your mind or did you just go home and switch it off?

JG: I’m not a method actor. The minute I think about what we are talking about is real, I just don’t want to go there, because I think, ‘Wow! These are actual people who actually did these things.’

PC: Who could be living next door to you!

JG: It’s too much to even think about, so that – combined with the fact [that] in the first season I was in almost every scene – I would go home and not even have time to even think what we had just done. I would be memorizing my lines for the next day, trying to keep up and not lose myself as far as the preparation for the work goes; there’s just so much work to do, it didn’t linger with me that way. It wasn’t like I had reflective time to sit and think ‘wow these people’… I was like: ‘Okay, what are my lines for tomorrow?’ It was more about the logistics of problem solving and telling the story than it was sitting and meditating on the reality of what went down.

PC: What about when filming finished? I know some of the cast have explored serial killers further and like Holt saying he wants to interview a serial killer (he told me that he had written to one).

JG: He wanted to go and talk with David Berkowitz.

PC: Yeah and Anna Torv said she had read up a lot about it after filming finished.

JG: There is not a part of me that wants to meet David Berkowitz: just the idea of it makes me feel scared and weird – and what would I say?

PC: And what he would say? Yikes, I agree it would be really scary. It would be too real, not pretend anymore.

JG: Too real! On this show we are trying to tell the story as respectfully and accurately as possible and then I just don’t want to think about it.

PC: Everybody raves about how outstanding Cameron Britton was as Ed Kemper and rightly so: apart from him, is there anyone in particular who stood out for you or just overall whose performance was great?

JG: Good question. In my audition scenes they were with the Kemper, Brudos [Happy Anderson] and Richard Speck [Jack Erdie] and what I loved is that they were all different, and this show isn’t just serial killer of the week. You get the information from the serial killers and you get a little window into their lives, but then you also see the evolution of the FBI agents and how they get savvier and how they put things together, and the psychology of getting somebody to open up in a different way – so for the Brudos thing, the idea of the shoe. And even when Holden goes back and interviews Brudos and they talk in the third person about his killings – that I found really chilling – what a creepy, strange way. It almost makes it feel even scarier to hear him talking about it. When he’s talking to me he’s sort of deflecting, deflecting, deflecting and then how he talks in the third person – I found that really scary.

PC: When Kemper hugged Holden and you had that panic attack, I could really feel it in my chest, like, ‘Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!’ Imagine that actually happening! I’d probably just die of fright, on the spot. You just don’t know what his next move could be.

JG: Yeah it’s scary and I think that the show does that really well: where you feel a sense of safety – because you’re in this jail it feels like a contained environment and they seem so docile – and all of a sudden you realise how dangerous they are and that feeling kind of comes in and out through the course of an interview; all the interviews are that way. I love that quality of the story, it’s very complicated. It’s not like you go, ‘Oh my God!’ It’s like, ‘Okay, that seems like a normal question.’

PC: What do you think of how your character evolved from, I think you said someone who was possibly a virgin, impeccably dressed, boy next door, to how he became near the end of the season and how he will be in season 2? How he was affected by the sexual nature of the killings: in that he grew up more or his eyes were opened more?

JG: Yes, I think so – certainly there’s an element – and John Douglas (who the character is based on) talks a lot about the heaviness and the horror and the depravity and the sadness of the victims’ experience. You know he had a complete mental breakdown in dealing with the stuff on a daily basis and being so all consumed by it. There’s that aspect of the evolution of the character that I think is really interesting, and that’s reflected in the scene where his girlfriend puts on the shoe, and it’s the first time you realise that work is kind of coming home with him and he starts to lose it a little bit. And then, obviously, at the end when he runs literally into the arms of Ed Kemper and is sort of lost.

But the other kind of evolution I find really interesting in the character (maybe the most surprising) is that idea of narcissism and the idea of taking credit for creating something and I think it’s such a human, and American, and embarrassing quality of: ‘I made this. I’m taking credit for this. I started this.’ I say at one point to Wendy, in the one scene, and seeing how that sweetly intentioned, buttoned-up kid, gets a little full of himself, and watching that quality bubble to the surface of Holden I think is really surprising . That quality of narcissism coming to the surface and really loving the fact that he is such a, quote, ‘revolutionary character’ with revolutionary ideas. One of the things that David always talks about doing, that he loves, is that he’s only interested in an argument on-screen where both characters are right and Holden has that scene where he walks out and looks at the OPR [the FBI Office of Professional Responsibility] and says, ‘The only mistake I ever made was doubting myself.’ Holden is never wrong in his actions and in his ideas but the way it sort of transforms him is a very discerning and a little scary: that he’s seemingly so innocent [yet] becomes so monstrous and egotistical.

PC: It will be interesting to see where it goes and how far it will go next season.

JG: Exactly. I love playing that because it’s so rare that you get to play someone that is kind of so innocent, that takes such a journey like that by the end of the season.

PC: I was looking through some fan forums and these are some descriptions that written about you… Someone asks: ‘What do you think about Jonathan Groff?’ Someone else replies: ‘It’s impossible to list just one – he’s an incredible package, not just his body and perfect bone structure, his seductive eyes, playful and innocent. Lips that make the most adorable smile…’ Need I go on? My point is, I wanted to ask: what you see when you look in the mirror?

JG: Oh my God! What do I think when I look in the mirror?

PC: Yes, do you think, ‘Oh today I look dreadful. I have a spot’? Or do you think, ‘Yep, yep you look pretty good today son’?

JG: The latest thing is… well first of all I don’t love looking in the mirror (it’s not my favourite thing). The other day I had to look in the mirror in a scene that we were doing – and I really don’t like looking in the mirror when I’m playing Holden, because it makes me laugh. Looking in the mirror while acting just makes me feel crazy. Some actors love to watch back on the little monitor screens, like, ‘Okay let me see that back, see how it looks.’ That just makes me feel so self-conscious. I would so much just rather watch it all after it’s been cut and made up. I don’t love watching myself in the process. The main thing that I found when I looked the mirror was – because I had a couple of days off and I went to New York – I’m 33 and I’ve never had facial hair and now I’m getting a beard; I am actually able to grow facial hair. That has been the latest revelation looking in the mirror I’m like: Oh my God!! Basically I can go maybe a week and a half and have a normal person’s 5 o’clock shadow, but now it’s been a couple of days of not shaving and I’m starting to grow facial hair.

PC: Wow! You will be able to have one of those full beards that the hipsters have.

JG: Yes and I’m like: I’m officially getting older; I’m starting to grow facial hair; I’m starting to feel more like a man. (Laughs)

PC: I often get messages from people who have been grateful that someone I’ve interviewed has helped them through something by talking about their own experiences, whether it be depression, grief or something else. I know you had a scare with skin cancer and wondered if you would like to talk about that.

JG: Yes of course. Skin cancer for me was so undramatic, in that I just booked for a physical check-up and I’d never gotten my moles checked, so the doctor recommended I did. They saw a mole that looked weird and they cut it out and then they saw that it had like a melanoma cancer in it. The great thing is to get it out before it spreads, have it cut out and then there’s nothing else to it. So before it had spread, they just cut it out and now I make sure I’m wearing sunscreen every time I go in the sun and I get my moles checked once a year. I wasn’t in the hospital; I didn’t have to go through any treatment; I just have this scar on my chest from where I had it removed. It didn’t feel life-threatening or scary in any way when it happened.

PC: There is a fan debate about how you got the scar on your chest and equally the scar on your bicep: that you allegedly got from some woman’s stiletto or something. Is that true?

JG: That is true. I had a light scar… Let me see if it is still there. I had a light scar there from when I was doing “Bohemian Rhapsody” in Glee and I was wearing a T-shirt and we were doing the run through. We were just rehearsing it and the stiletto scraped my arm down my bicep – it was pretty hilarious. I had a scar there definitely for a couple of weeks, then it was a light scar and now I think it’s completely gone.

PC: Shows you how dedicated your fans are that they are discussing your scars online in a forum.

JG: That’s impressive that they know so much.

PC: Your meaty thighs are another whole thread!

JG: That’s amazing!

PC: Which word do you find yourself using more than others and do you have a favourite word?

JG: I’m trying to stop saying ‘like’ and I’m trying to stop saying ‘totally’. I’ve had lots of friends in my life who say I say ‘totally’ a lot, so that’s definitely a most used word that I’m trying not to say. The other thing I’m trying not to say is: ‘That’s so interesting’. I say that a lot. And I’m trying to not go up at the end of my sentence per David Fincher: when you talk like this and you end a statement like it’s a question. I’m trying to stop doing that.

PC: You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself! Do you have a favourite word?

JG: I’d say my favourite word is ‘yes’.

PC: How would you spend your perfect day?

JG: It would depend what I’m doing at the time… You know what my perfect day is? It’s waking up, doing some form of exercise – be it yoga or spin class or going for a run. Then it would be maybe having breakfast: making it alone with the radio playing. Then hopping on my bike – this is all taking place in New York by the way. Go on a bike ride to Central Park and then meeting my friends in Central Park at Sheep’s Meadow. Eating and hanging out for a while there.

PC: What’s Sheep’s Meadow?

JG: Sheep’s Meadow is a big sort of grassy area in Central Park. Then maybe go over to a restaurant… let’s see… where would I go? I would go to some restaurant on the Upper West Side, near Central Park, and have a late afternoon lunch with my friends.

PC: I need more details: a meat, fish or cheese dish?

JG: I would go to The Smith and have steak salad and a glass of rosé then I would go back home to my apartment; I would take a nap. Then I would hop in the shower. I would get back on my bike ride up to Midtown and I would perform in a Broadway Musical. Then I would go with my cast members again to some bar afterwards – where I would have a whiskey – and then I would hop back on my bike and ride home. Perfect day!

PC: Do you ride your bike a lot to get round New York?

JG: Yes that’s how I get around. I love it. When I was there two days ago I rode my bike everywhere.

PC: That’s how people don’t recognise you because you are wearing a bike hat: do you wear a hat?

JG: Yes of course.

PC: What could you not live without?

JG: Music!

PC: That takes us nicely to the next set of questions…

What was the first record you ever bought or the first download you ever downloaded?

JG: The first I ever bought would be Brittany Spears’ “Hit Me Baby One More Time” on CD – it was great.

PC: Is there a song that takes you back to a special time in your life?

JG: I remember listening to that song “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None The Richer when I was in 8th grade doing the 8th grade play. It was in the movie She’s All That and I remember I had to kiss my friend Emily in that play and I just remember the anxiety of having to kiss her and that song being on the radio.

PC: How old were you?

JG: 12 years old.

PC: Aww… was that your first kiss? Did it all go fine?

JG: Yes it was fine.

PC: Do you have a song that you must blast out when it comes on?

JG: Pretty much anything Beyoncé, but especially “Grown Woman”.

PC: Is there a movie soundtrack that you particularly love?

JG: When I was in 2nd grade I used to obsessively listen to the soundtrack Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, with Kevin Costner.

PC: With the Bryan Adams’ song that was in the charts for months?

JG: Yeah exactly. That one.

PC: What about now: what movie soundtrack would you put on?

JG: I love David O. Russell films and I’ve always loved the music in his films so I bought the Silver Linings Playbooksoundtrack; I bought the soundtrack for Joy. I just love the music in his films so definitely one of those two.

PC: Apart from musicals, is there a specific genre you favour or do you just love music generally?

JG: I found out that at Beyoncé’s Coachella concert (which I’ve now watched about 150 times) when she has this long 5-minute intro and it starts with a drum roll, and then this sort of like New Orleans jazz music playing in the background – I learnt that the tune is from this band called The Rebirth Brass Band so I’ve been listening to a lot of their music. I’ve been listening to a lot of New Orleans Jazz. I will listen to anything though.

PC: What about live music? Do you go to many live gigs?

JG: I wish I went to more. I don’t go to a lot of live gigs and every time I go to one I always think I wish I watched more live music. That was even the case with the last one I went to, I can’t even think off the top of my head who that was. The best one was definitely going to the Formation Tour [Beyoncé].

PC: Obviously you are a wonderful dancer. Are you always up first on the dance floor – or do you take a bit of persuading?

JG: It depends on my mood. Last time I was dancing was at the opening of Frozen on Broadway and I was definitely the first person on the dance floor.

PC: So you are on a road trip with only a dog for company, not a goat and not a horse: what’s on your playlist?

JG: I would drive all the time – I love driving. Beyoncé, Frank Ocean – let me just look at my phone – Bobby Darin (I’ve been listening to a lot of his), the Black Panther album, Alesia Keyes, The Carpenters, The Velvet Underground, Lou Reed , Kendrick Lamar, Barbara Streisand, Chance the Rapper, Lolo (my friend Lauren Pritchard from Spring Awakening), Sara Bareilles, Jackson 5, Elton John, Simon & Garfunkel, The Beatles, Amy Winehouse and Billy Joel.

PC: What does music mean to you?

JG: It’s like the reflection of every joy, sadness, confusion. Music is like life to me: there just a reflection in absolutely everything. I love it!

#jonathan groff #mindhunter #interview