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#dean would dig it and you know it
quietwingsinthesky · 1 year
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zachariah is the best character on this show actually
#he's so funny!!!!#also supernatural always coming in with the 'character suddenly says something quiet and devastating and then moves on'#even for him#'Everybody's laughing at me!' (pause and then quieter) 'and they're right to do it.'#zach my man i will dig into your silly little psyche#i mean okay you don't really have to dig he lays it out right there#he was top dog and then failing to grab the winchesters knocked him down.#and like. we know what getting knocked down in heaven means. he knows what it means.#how much can he fail before they toss him right in the chair where he sent castiel once.#no. look. listen to me. i'm not crazy. he's fascinating to me okay.#naomi is fascinating in the later seasons for similar reasons but she has different-ish motives. on the whole she's here for the collective#and zach is certainly serving heaven's interests. zero doubt in that. but like. he is also definitely serving his own.#he wants to be top of the food chain. useful to michael. because that's one of the few positions in heaven that means you get power.#and he takes it out on the people under him! he says it himself! he's petty!#resorts to physical violence to get sam & dean to do what he wants like they are stress balls.#(stands in front of them and goes >:) im gonna fuck ur mom. who else is doing it like him.)#im getting distracted my point is like. zachariah is probably the angel the most aware of the position he's in.#different than his awareness of like. his role in the story like raphael or lucifer or michael. but his role in the system?#he understands that. he knows how to play that game very well to make himself the most powerful respected angel in the room.#heaven cult my beloved. zachariah would sell anyone out for a corn chip and a promotion.#because of course he would. why wouldn't he. him looking around at other angels thinking: well why wouldn't you. i have to get there first.#tl;dr he's so funny. literally smiling every time he's on screen im gonna miss him when he dies.#zachariah spn#spn#(no okay wait not done. all of that there. all his posturing and making sure he's in the top position.#and despite that. joshua walks on screen. says 'scram' and zach Knows he can't do shit about it and leaves. like!!!!#THAT'S IT! THESIS. DOESN'T MATTER HOW HIGH IN THE OFFICE HE IS. ONE SLAP FROM UP TOP AND HE HAS TO BACK OFF!!!#THERE IS NO WINNING THIS GAME! THERE IS ONLY PLAYING IT AS BEST YOU CAN UNTIL SOMEONE FLIPS THE FUCKING BOARD!!!)#now im done <3
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happy wincest wednesday, frauke! a crossover event: do sam and dean watch the terror? (does dean get a crush on crozier?)
cursed train of thought haha realistically i... don’t think they watch it. although i guess the franklin expedition might appear on the fringes of their mystery research or sam’s true crime interest, these things do have some overlap. but i immediately have to think of these 1 star reviews of it and of that one reddit poster who was like “i thought bridgens and peglar had a nice father/son relationship” so, uh, yeah, it’d be like that probably. and even if they did come across it, to watch it in any meaningful way they'd first have to significantly improve the lighting conditions in the bunker. however, crozier is definitely the obvious type-in-guys crush choice.
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kh3finalmix · 2 years
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ok but i feel like the ADA isnt even the bad guys, they clearly knew something was up with president dean and its obvious that none of the other presidents are to be trusted, i mean look at what happened to rockefeller and washington, dean got off easy compared to them. it's true that nothing he did was bad enough to have freedom or the angel come after him but the ADA knew something was wrong with dean so i dont blame the group tbh
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zyafics · 2 months
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brother's rival | rafe cameron (18+)
series: brother’s rival (part one)
pairing: rafe cameron x female reader
summary: you and your brother were born pogues, but once your family made enough to move to figure eight, you became a kook. unfortunately, rafe cameron doesn't welcome pogue-born kooks. and it doesn't help that your brother is determined to steal the title of king of kooks from him. so, if your brother is trying to steal something from him, rafe is going to return the favor.
warnings: MDNI, 18+, smut, angst
zya's notes: hi!! this is my first fanfic, so yeah. i hope you enjoy! also, i like when the reader stands on business and actually talks back to rafe, and i never read anything like that, so yeah, this is my attempt on that lol
𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃 ⋆.˚ ⋆.˚ ⋆.˚ ⋆.˚
"Do you think Kooks actually enjoy this or is this something they do to uphold their image?" You ask your brother, Dean, who swings his golf club, hitting the ball square in the center, and sends the small circular object flying across the land.
He turns back to face you once the ball settles on the grass. His golf club digging into the ground, his arm pressed against the handle. "It's probably an ego thing."
You snort. "If I had to wear this everyday, it would not be an ego thing."
You glance down at your outfit: a simple tennis skirt and top. Since your family moved to Figure Eight a couple months ago, you were also granted access to the prestigious Country Club that sits on the rich side of the island. You and your brother haven't attended any of the events, due to your status as a Pogue-born Kook, but since the summertime rolled around and there's absolutely nothing to do on Figure Eight in the daylight, you two decided to take a little trip.
To get into the role of Kook, both of you decided to wear what the Kooks normally wear. Trading your Pogue attires for tennis skirts, khaki pants, and polo shirts, the two of you almost look the part.
But you still stand out.
"You're next." Your brother tips his golf club in the direction of where he hits his ball. You groan, stepping up to the tee stand where Dean replaced another golf ball for you to swing (and miss). You don't like golfing, you decided, wanting to trade in the Kook uniforms and stuck-up memberships for surfboards and high waves. Unfortunately, your brother does, and he wants to stay.
Not wanting to embarrass yourself, you try to mimic the stance your brother had a few moments ago. You pull yourself into the position, bending slightly over as the end of the club lines in front of the ball.
"You should bend down lower!" A voice shouts and you roll your eyes, knowing exactly who it belongs to. Your head lifts up to see Rafe approaching you, holding his own golf club with a personal caddy following after him from a safe distance.
From the corner of your eyes, you can see your brother's demeanor completely change. His expression pulled taut, his shoulders stiffen, his jaw locked.
Your brother and Rafe do not have a good relationship. Well, if you could even call it a relationship.
You and Dean moved here a couple of months ago. Born and raised on The Cut, your family finally made and saved enough to move you away from a life of poverty and crime to a nice, suburban home on Figure Eight.
However, it wasn't done without a cold welcome. Most of the Kooks don't like you nor your brother. You don't know if it's because you used to be a Pogue or because Rafe Cameron doesn't like the idea of Pogues moving into Kook territory—and made sure everyone followed along—but either way, it caused your experience on Figure Eight to be an unpleasant one.
For the first month, Rafe would send occasional 'gifts' to your door to remind you and your brother of your place. At parties, he would also make sure to let you and your brother know you're not welcomed. He even made a point to throw the keys of his truck to Dean's face, telling him to go do a beer run, and threw some cash alongside as payment. In the heat of the moment, Dean had enough and lost his shit. He swung at Rafe and Rafe swung back.
You had to pull your brother off of Rafe as the Kook King yelled profanities at your brother, blood dripping down his chin, telling him about how he would get him back.
From that point on, it was nonstop rivalry. Whenever they were in the same vicinity, they would either exchange verbal spats or physical altercations. You had to momentarily stop attending any parties because you couldn't handle the possibility of fights.
You didn't want today to be another one.
Dean steps in front of you as Rafe approaches, making sure to block his view from you. The golf club stands between them. "What do you want, Cameron?"
"Just trying to give your sister some advice." Rafe responds with a cocky smile. He raises his own golf club and places the end of the head against Dean's chest. "I didn't know busboys got to play. Must be why this place is going to shit."
You can see the anger rolling off your brother, his hand clenched around the handle of his golf club, causing his knuckles to grow white. Before he does something that would cause the both of you to get in trouble, you step forward, grabbing his forearm.
"Go away, Rafe." You declare, causing the blond to shift his attention from your glaring brother to you. His blue eyes give you a once-over, lingering a little longer at the cutoff of your skirt, before meeting your gaze. "If you think this place is shit, then find another place to play."
"And let a couple of Pogues kick me out of my Country Club?" He declares, twisting his expression in a manner that looks disgusted at the idea before shaking his head with a click of his tongue. "I don't think so, princess."
You hate the nickname that he gave you. It's always in mocking. Since you and your brother arrived at Figure Eight, according to Rafe, Dean has been slowly encroaching on Rafe's territory. Trying to take the crown of King of Kooks from him. This, in turn, caused Rafe to cast you in a secondary role. A mocking declaration of princess as in you will never be one.
You just roll your eyes at him, but you can't help the flutter of warmth that settles on the bottom of your stomach.
"Fuck off, Cameron." Dean declares, his tone laced with aggression, as he steps forward to place some distance between you and the blond. "This place is huge. I'm sure you can find some place where you don't have to see us."
Rafe hums in thought. "That's the thing," he points to the space you and your brother occupies. "What if I want this spot? I'm sure it won't be a problem for you to move." He glances at you and winks. "She can stay. I'm sure she'll be entertaining."
It doesn't take a second later before your brother swings. His fist delivers a satisfying crack against Rafe's jaw, causing him to stubble back a few steps. But, he quickly regains footing. His expression morphs into a deadly one, coming back around and raising his fist to deliver a punch to your own brother before you pull Dean away—stepping in front of him.
"Enough." You declare, clenching down your jaw, in preparation for the blow that never came. Rafe stopped himself a few inches away from your face. But, you don't let that fear show. "We'll move. You can have your fucking game."
With that, you drag your brother and your things away. You don't bother turning around, but you can feel the heat of Rafe's stare in the back of your head, following your every move, until you disappear from his sight.
“I’m going to grab something to eat.” You say to your brother, who merely hums in acknowledgement. He’s still a bit pissed off that you stepped in between Rafe and him. But, what else were you supposed to do? You are trying to get situated in this new environment, this new place where everything is a hostile territory. You didn’t want any more trouble that came from it. Yeah, you admit, it was a bit short-sighted of you to step in because you could’ve gotten hurt but fuck him, at least you did something more productive than swinging fists. 
You head away from the golf course to the restaurant at the Country Club. You still can't believe you are here. If you had told yourself a year ago that you would’ve be living on Figure Eight, playing golf on the rich side of the island, you would probably laugh and take your drink from you. But, it's true.
You're a Kook.
Well, by classification, but you don't feel like it.
You don't, technically, feel like a Pogue either.
You're just oddly stuck in the middle. You don't know what to make of it. All you want to do is just have fun, live, and not cause any more trouble.
Unfortunately, trouble finds you. As you place your order and wait, leaning against the bar counter and tapping your nails against the granite, a body slides into the space next to you, large and towering. In the corner of your eyes, you catch him playing with the small plastic menu display set on the counter and pick it up with one hand. 
He leans against you, pointing to the menu. “What are we ordering, princess?” 
You turn your head to face Rafe. “I don’t know. What do assholes eat in their free-time?” 
“Well, that depends.” 
“On what?” 
“What you’re offering.” He’s watching you as if you are part of the specials. The heat of his gaze feels like it’s undressing you, that it makes you shift your own, tapping the menu in his hand to draw his attention back. 
“On the menu, Rafe.” 
“Nah.” He abandons the plastic menu on the counter, turning his body completely to face you. His elbow pressed against the counter. “I’m craving something else.” 
You swallow hard, looking over to the waitstaff behind the counter, wondering whenthey’re going to be finished with your burger so you can leave. 
You know Rafe is only messing with you because it gets to your brother. It’s known on the island that Dean is protective of his little sister, sometimes too much, that Rafe takes advantage of this fact. 
Standing here, near Rafe, is dangerous. Not to mention your brother could come over at any time and check up on you, but because, if you’re being honest with yourself, you don’t share the same spite and hatred Dean has with the blond. 
You’re not sure if you share any of it. 
You just think all of it is stupid. 
“Speechless now?” He teases, leaning enough where you can catch the scent of his cologne and the woodsy odor from golfing all day. “I never thought I’d see the day.” 
You don’t answer him, deciding that the best thing you can do right now is ignore him. 
That’s proven to be bad advice because, not moments later, you feel rough fingers grab your chin and force you to turn to Rafe. His eyes are piercing, his gaze studying every little detail of your face as you tried yourhardest to remain unfazed by his presence. 
“Ignoring me?” He asks softly, his sight dropping to your lips as he runs the pad of his thumb across the soft plump of your bottom lip. They unconsciously part, just as Rafe’s eyes drift back up to yours. His voice in a mere whisper. “You know I don’t like that.” 
Your heart skips a beat and your legs grow weak, barely able to keep you upright. You fight against the instinct to lean into his hand, to take his thumb that lingers on your entrance, into your mouth and suck, but it’s difficult. 
He chuckles, watching the internal battle you’re having with yourself, lowering to your height. “You want me badly, do you, princess?” 
For a blink of sobriety, you raise your hand to grab his wrist, pulling him off of you, from feeling every little twitch of muscle that changes under his touch, and rolls your eyes. You throw his hand back at him. “You wish.” 
The waiter returns with a box of your food and you thank them with a tip, about to grab the to-go box off the counter when Rafe beats you to it. He grabs a hold of your food and raises it just out of your reach. 
You glare at him. “Give it back, Rafe.” 
“Give me your number.” 
You are taken back by that. “What?” 
“Give me your number.” He repeats, his determination set on his face as he waits for you to answer. “Or, do you want me to beg for it?” 
The sight of Rafe on his knees is not unappealing, but you rather not have another image of him doing something that would return when your hands are between your legs. Instead, you settle on something equally humiliating for him. “Say please.” 
He looks at you, bewildered, and scoffs. “I’m not doing that.” 
“Then you’re not getting my number.” 
“You forget I have your food.” 
“You forget I have money now,” you pull out your credit card. “I can order another one.” 
His jaw clenches, and for the first time, Rafe Cameron is backed into a corner he doesn’t know how to escape from. With a resigned sigh, he says, reluctantly, “please.” 
“I need more enthusiasm.” 
 He cuts a dark look at you. “Don’t push it, princess.” 
You laugh, before holding out your palm. His free hand finds his phone in his back pocket and offers it to you. You easily type the digits, add your contact to his phone and quickly send a text to yourself to remember the number. When you return your phone back to him, he exchanges it for your food. 
When you’re about to head back to your brother, you hear Rafe shout behind you, “I’ll text you.” 
Suppressing a grin, even though he can’t see you, you throw your response over your shoulder. “I might answer.”
{・❥・read part two here }
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waynes-multiverse · 15 days
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Ok hear me out. I got this idea after the episode of Dean getting his "virginity" back and hooking up with the porn star when he's digging through her dresser and finds the DVD of her ANYWAY
Best friend Dean who's been pining after you for sooo long but doesn't want to fuck it up and lose you. You're hanging out when you ask him to go grab something from your room and he's digging through your drawers looking and accidentally comes across some lingerie and now it's days later and he's so hot and bothered cuz he can't think of anything else (the boy has a serious panty kink lets be honest) and you catch him in your room going through your drawers again and OH
A/N: As I warned y'all, this is a longer DD because, well, the prompt was long, so it's not really my fault. All that backstory took on a life of its own, but I think no one will be mad about it 😅 Again, I had tons of fun with this one! You'll see 🤣
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader
Warnings: +18/NSWF, a ridiculous heat wave, friends to lovers (Wayne's Version), crack, a panty kink, some sneaky fluff, and some hot lovin' aka smut (oral f & face sitting)
Word Count: 4.5k (whoops)
Main Masterlist || Dirty Drabbles
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Cruel Summer
“You open the beaches on the 4th of July, it’s like ringing the dinner bell for Christ’s sake…”
As Jaws flickered across the screen in the Dean Cave, the green-eyed hunter adjusted himself in his seat. Usually, he had perfect control over himself and his feelings for you.
But on some days – like today – when you sat right next to him on the couch in nothing but a loose t-shirt and some short sweatpants, fanning yourself with an old magazine of Busty Asian Beauties as beads of salty sweat collected on your forehead and trickled down your neck, you made it hard for him.
“God, I’m so hot,” you sighed exhaustively and sunk further into the couch cushions, lifting your shirt from your sticky skin to let some cool air to your boobs as a heat wave ravaged through Kansas.
Painfully hard.
“Dean?” You pouted with your best puppy dog look at your best friend.
“Huh?” Dean was in trance, watching you more than the movie, always on the edge of getting caught one of these days.
“We’re out of Sour Patch Kids. I have more in my nightstand. Can you get them for me please?” you asked sweetly. “I don’t wanna move. I might actually die from heat exhaustion.”
Dean sighed and wordlessly rose from his seat. He knew you always kept an array of salty and sweet midnight snacks in your room in case you got hungry and didn’t want to wander into the kitchen in the middle of the night.
Moreover, he was grateful for the break. God knows he couldn’t stand to be around you any longer, or he would’ve been too tempted to rip your clothes off and really make you sweat.
I’ll show her a damn heat exhaustion, he thought with a scoff.
Hastily grabbing the desired snack, his green eyes then caught something red and lacy sticking out from the first drawer of your dresser. The hunter knew the decent and honest thing would’ve been to just keep moving and leave your godforsaken room.
Turn around, as Bonnie Tyler sang. But for some reason, his bright eyes couldn’t resist, his curiosity overtaking him.
Dean opened the drawer with the intention to push the naughty little clothing item back into its place and out of sight. Get rid of the temptation, so to speak. It sounded like the perfect loophole. He got to touch it and look at it, but for a very heroic and noble reason – not because he was a creepy perv, violating his best friend’s privacy.
On some level, Dean knew he’d never stand a chance with you. He wasn’t good enough. He had so much baggage all his suitcases wouldn’t even fit into the bunker.
A damn touch of a pair of panties you weren’t even wearing was all he would ever get from you.
But then his fingers touched the soft and see-through material, his pads tracing every delicate scarlet thread with precision and care. It was game over for him then and there, cursing himself internally for not resisting harder as his cock twitched joyfully in his jeans.
Dean had laid his eyes on you the second you strolled with swinging hips into that diner in Wichita for your very first case together, a werewolf hunt six years ago. And he had managed to get by without an incident for years since then, even when you moved into the bunker, being rather proud of that achievement. He never wanted to lose you as a friend and didn’t dare to cross a line. Ever.
Recently, though, it became more difficult to keep his distance and not let his thoughts wander. His feelings were magma that slowly had filled a volcano over the years. Each time you did something sexy or sweet or goofy or smart, another drop was added. And now, that damn fire mountain was overdue for an eruption – no thanks to that stupid heat wave.
“Thanks,” you said absentmindedly as the hunter handed you the candy but didn’t settle back down. Instead, he stood behind the sofa and leaned his hands on the backrest.
What you didn’t know, though, was that Dean was sporting quite the boner and wouldn’t dare to come into your line of view. He was surprised he could even walk up straight and not like a caveman early in the evolution.
A hunter gathering panties.
“I’m gonna hit the hay,” he told you with a somber clear of his throat. As the fan carried a breeze of your perfume to his nose, his grip tightened on the couch.
You turned in your seat and looked over your shoulder at him, raising a surprised brow. “Already? But the movie’s not over.”
“Yeah, I’m beat,” he excused and tried his best not to look strained. He forced a tight smile to his lips while his little dude celebrated Spring Break in his jeans. “‘Sides, we’ve seen Jaws like a million times now, Y/N.”
It was a cherished summer tradition between the two of you, watching it every 4th of July.
“I guess so.” You shrugged disappointedly, watching your best friend retreat to his room. Truth was, you loved spending time with Dean and held those little traditions close to your heart.
The Winchesters were your family, the only one you ever had. And while some families wore matching pajamas on Christmas morning, you watched the first two Die Hard movies. You would watch Dean’s favorite horror movies on Halloween. Sixteen Candles and High Fidelity on your birthday, Tombstone and The Great Escape on Dean’s, and some lame-ass foreign language documentaries that you both snored through on Sam’s.
Valentine’s Day was a dreaded non-holiday for all three of you, but for the past four years, someone would leave a box of chocolate in front of your door. The salted caramel ones would always be missing, and it always came with the same Forrest Gump quote:
I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.
You knew the anonymous someone was Dean, and you knew he meant it as a joke. Still, you clung to those little traditions. They might seem silly and stupid to some, but to you, they were your lifeline in a world full of darkness.
So, you felt rather saddened Dean didn’t seem to honor them anymore. It wasn’t just Jaws, either. He’d been withdrawing from you for a while, and you didn’t understand why.
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Unbeknownst to you, the green-eyed hunter had kept a lacy souvenir from your room.
Now, Dean had managed to avoid you for four days. Every night since his stealthy excursion, he would lie in his bed with your stolen panties in one hand and his throbbing length in the other, feeling goddamn pathetic for sinking so low.
It was probably so low that even his memory foam mattress would remember it.
With closed eyes, he then imagined how the perky globes of your ass would look like covered in crimson lace. How you would stretch out on his bed on all fours, with your ass high in the air and wiggling in front of him. How his fingers would push the wicked material aside to push into you, taking you deep and hard while you moaned his name.
As he ruined tissue after tissue, the guilt would wash over him as soon as he was done. Call it a post-nut epiphany.
Dean knew it was wrong to think those things. He knew he only made it harder for himself to ever look you into the eyes again. Hell, he barely could do it now, even though a part of him audaciously wondered what other treasures were hiding in that drawer of yours. And more pressingly, what ultimate wealth he would find beneath your clothes. If your lingerie was gold, he’d be a creepy-ass dragon sitting on it.
So, Dean tried to avoid you as best as possible. Mostly because, well…
“God, fuck me,” you groaned exhaustively and opened the refrigerator door, leaning against it as the refreshing cold hit you from behind. On top of that, you held a big bag of frozen peas to your sweaty chest. You already wore the bare minimum – some short denims and a white tank top, your hair up in a messy bun.
“I swear underboob sweat is the worst. Just be glad you don’t have tits,” you complained. “Guys, seriously, can we invest in an AC? This heat wave is killing me! This bunker is like one giant oven…”
You watched as Dean squirmed in his seat as he ate his cereal, looking as uncomfortable as you. Surely, the boys were suffering just as badly during those sweltering temperatures, already forgoing the usual flannels and opting for plain t-shirts instead. How they were still wearing jeans was beyond you. When you first moved in, you protested against Dean’s suggestion of Naked Tuesdays, but these days, you were actually giving it a second thought.
“Well, I’m gonna drive to Kansas City today and see if I can get us an AC. Apparently, they’re all sold out, but I figured maybe with a bit of flirting and some cleavage, I can still get us one,” you explained your plan with a bright smirk and wiggled your eyebrows. “What d’you guys think, huh?”
Dean then abruptly banged his fist on the table, spilling some milk from his bowl on the surface. “For God’s sake, Y/N!”
You frowned in confusion at his unexpected outburst. “What’s up with you? Are you having a heat stroke?”
“Flirting, really?!” the hunter barked, his brow shaped into a deeply furious v.
“What’s wrong with that? Double standard much? You do it all the time to get shit,” you countered and watched his jaw clench in anger.
“I do-... not,” he remarked snappily with a fierce finger drilling into the table, clearly lacking a good argument. Sam cleared his throat in agreement with you, but that only earned him a glare. “And Jesus fucking Christ, would it hurt you to put on some goddamn clothes? You’re not even wearing a bra!”
“Did you not hear my tits rant just now? Of course I’m not! ‘Sides, those boobs are gonna get you an AC, so be a little more grateful to them,” you retorted, annoyed with his attitude. You’d think of all the people in this world, Dean Winchester would understand. (And maybe even appreciate it.) “And how can you even tell, huh?”
“‘Cause science, Y/N! You’re literally cooling your tits! What did you think was gonna happen, huh? Nipples!” he vented outrageously. “This ain’t a strip club!”
“It’s 102 degrees, Dean!” you argued, throwing your arms up. “Look, if I could, I’d even go naked, alright? It’s fucking hot!”
“Oh, for crying out loud!” Dean shook his head and stormed out of the kitchen without any further comment.
Confused, you blinked at the younger Winchester. “What’s up with him?”
But Sam only shrugged, shaking his head. “Uhm, I don’t know,” he replied, although he could take an educated guess, suspecting his brother’s feelings for you as the culprit.
“Well, alright, I’m going to Kansas City,” you decided without wasting another thought on the older Winchester’s strange behavior. “Text me if you guys need something. I can pick it up on my way home.”
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Dean knew he was in deep trouble as his bow legs bolted down the bunker’s hallways. He tried so hard to keep it together, but when he saw you, half-naked and panting in front of the fridge, he quite literally lost his coolness in this goddamn heat wave.
The green-eyed hunter understood a thing or two about torture, but this was the worst of all. He’d rather have a demon repeatedly peel off his skin in hellfire than endure a day more of this fucking madness.
If the temperatures didn’t drop soon, it would be a cruel summer ahead of him.
As Dean heard the door to the garage close, he knew you’d left for your trip and exhaled a deep sigh of relief. At least he’d get a few hours of peace.
With the best intentions, he strolled to his bedroom, but as he passed your room on his way, he found the door ajar. Whatever good motives he had up until this point, went quickly out the window right then.
His hand twitched at the thought of more riches, worse than any trigger finger and competing with a California earthquake, and well, so did the dick in his jeans. It was an addiction at this point, an obsession he couldn’t resist nor get rid off. The fact that it was forbidden and wrong only made it even more appealing. The apple in the garden of Eden.
Unfortunately, there wasn’t an anonymous support group for this kind of sickness.
As unbearable shame and guilt collected in his stomach like rainwater in the gutter, his eager hands rummaged through your dresser drawer. There was purple lace and black satin, navy G-strings and white Brazilians. It was never ending, and the hunter couldn’t stop as he picked up each item and let his fantasies roam wild.
God, the things he wanted to do to you were as colorful as your rainbow full of underwear.
“Dean?!”
The green-eyed hunter froze in his place, a white lace panty still bunched up in his large palm. The hair in the back of his neck stood up in shock, a part of him refusing to turn around at the sound of your voice. He was caught red-handed, and he knew it.
“What are you doing in my room?” you prompted, suspiciously cocking an eyebrow. It looked fairly obvious what your best friend was up to, but you didn’t want to accuse him right away, giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Frankly, it was quite unbelievable.
“It’s not what it looks like,” Dean replied and swallowed thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he held up his hands like a criminal during an arrest, the evidence still in his grasp.
“Well, it looks like you’re snooping through my lingerie,” you pointed out bluntly.
Dean nodded, guilt-ridden and reluctant. “I can explain.”
“Good,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m waiting…”
“Right, uhm…”
“Oh, before you scramble for an answer, you should know, though, that I’m aware a pair of red lace panties is missing, and I know the washer didn’t eat them,” you said and raised an expectant brow.
You had a feeling your pervy best friend was behind the mystery of the missing item. Now you knew for sure.
“Man, I always knew you were a kinky son of a bitch, but this is a new level, Dean,” you scolded.
Dean’s gaze dropped to the floor in shame, scratching the nape of his neck. “Look, uhm, there’s no good excuse. I know I fucked up here. I’ll sleep in a motel tonight until I find my own place. You can stay here with Sam, alright? I’ll move out and won’t bother you anymore.”
As he tried to brush past you, you blocked his exit and grabbed his arm. “So, you’re gonna leave? Just like that?”
“What other choice do I have? I don’t wanna make you more uncomfortable,” he stated without glancing at you once. He couldn’t bring himself to look into your eyes and see the disappointment and disgust there. “I know what I did was wrong.”
“Oh, so wrong,” you agreed. “I just figured you wouldn’t run away like a coward and take your punishment like a man, you know? Aren’t you at all curious what I’m wearing right now?”
That was when Dean’s juniper eyes slowly wandered to you and caught your gaze for the first time. You smirked as his breathing became heavy and his look darkened and filled with lust. It seemed like he wanted to rip your clothes off with his goddamn bare teeth like a wild animal.
“I can’t tell if you’re joking or if I’m dreaming,” he admitted, his deep voice part harsh swallow and part nervous chuckle.
“Neither,” you said, biting your bottom lip.
Carefully, you leaned closer, your hands reaching up to cup his scruffy cheeks. Noses nuzzled as your lips ghosted against his with a daring grin. You wouldn’t go further; it was up to Dean to make that final decision.
And then, as no more than a mere second ticked by on the clock, the hunter crashed his lips against yours in a kiss so scorching it made the current heat wave look like an ice age. If you thought you were hot before, now it felt like you were burning in a wildfire.
Dean roughly pushed you against the door, his kiss all teeth and tongue in an uncontrollable frenzy. His dick was hard and thick, straining against his jeans and rubbing along your thigh. Pantingly, you gasped for air and grabbed his hand, guiding it down your body and into your shorts.
“Feel that?” you asked mischievously as his fingers dug through your soaked folds and collected the arousal he caused. A wanton growl left his plush lips. “All for you, baby. You’ve been a bad boy, haven’t you?”
“Shit, yeah, so bad…” Dean rasped huskily against your throat as he worshipped his path down your body, forcing your shirt up till his wet tongue rolled over your pert and still cold nipple.
“Gonna make it up to me, huh? Show me how sorry you are?” you prompted, your fingers raking through his sandy blond and soft hair, eliciting a groan from him every time you tugged a little harder.
Teeth pinched your skin, tongue cherished your taste, and lips left your throat bruised. It was equal parts hot, sweaty, messy, naughty, dirty, and sticky as your bodies rutted against one another, looking for dire release.
With swollen and plumper than before lips, he came back up for air and found your eyes. He kissed you with heated passion once more as if he couldn’t resist to touch you over and over again. He had to restrain himself to be able to speak.
“So, uhm, you sure about this?” Dean asked between labored breaths with an insecure gleam in his green eyes. “‘Cause if we go further, I don’t think I can stop. And I don’t mean just this time but ever… If you want this to be a one time thing, you gotta tell me, sweetheart, so I can mentally prepare myself. I mean, I’ll take what I can get, you know? Not that I care either way… Well, that’s not true. I do care. A lot… But, you know, you’re you, and I’m me, so I’m not delusional. I know there’s no way you would–”
You interrupted his babbling with a kiss, causing the hunter to lose his words. You looked deeply into his eyes and offered him a small smile of comfort.
“Dean, listen to me, okay? ‘Cause this is very important,” you urged, your hands gripping his shirt tightly.
He nodded, gulping anxiously. “O-Okay.”
“You’re incredible,” you said and watched him inhale sharply at your words, blinking at you in disbelief. “Absolutely fucking bonkers incredible. You’re right – you’re you. And thank God you are, because you’re the best, funniest, smartest, kindest, and goddamn hottest man I’ve ever met. I’m tired of you not seeing that. As my boyfriend, I really need to you to see that, alright?”
As Dean pensively took in your words, his brow began to furrow. “Boyfriend?”
The corners of your mouth rose to a beam. “Yeah, boyfriend,” you confirmed. “That’s what you want, right? ‘Cause I’d really like that, too.”
“Uh, yeah, yeah… That’s what I want.” Dean nodded eagerly before another swallow followed. “I mean, among other things…”
You bit your lip, smirking. “What other things?”
“Well, uhm…”
Dean didn’t finish his sentence, his lips impatiently claiming yours instead. He pressed you hungrily back against the door, massive hands sliding down your sides till they hooked into the hem of your denim shorts and ripped them down to your ankles, leaving you only covered in teal lace. He growled shamelessly at the sight, his thick digits eagerly diving inside.
“Wanna be inside you,” he groaned into your ear, thumbing furiously at your clit. “Every hour of every day…”
“We can do that,” you agreed with a giggle, your arms locking around his neck, fingers carding through his hair in the back.
“Wanna feel your mouth around my–” The last word was muffled as he ravaged your neck, but you understood where he was going with this.
“You can do that,” you said with a smile.
“And fuck, I want you to ride my face,” he declared. That demand left you speechless, making even Dean stop for a minute and look at you. “Too far?”
You shook your head and smirked. “I can do that.”
Before Dean’s mind could fathom your words, you shoved him onto the bed, his back hitting the mattress. When you stood before him, slotted between his muscular legs, his gaze trailed up and down your body, memorizing every beautiful curve. As your fingers curled into the waistband of your panties, however, the hunter stopped you.
“Leave ‘em on, sweetheart. Don’t you dare take those off,” he told you, his hands rapaciously reaching out to you.
You played with the hem of your top and smirked, your tongue licking over your lips. “What about this? On or off?”
“Off,” he shot back faster than a bullet leaving a barrel.
“You first,” you demanded and grinned. “Remember, this is still your punishment.”
“God, I love getting punished,” Dean mumbled and slipped out of his shirt. He then swiftly shimmied out of his jeans, discarding each item carelessly around the room.
He then took a deep breath as he tugged the waistband of his boxers, his erection already fighting its way out. “Well, here goes nothing,” the hunter said and pulled his underwear down.
You tilted your head to see his hard cock from a better angle as it sprang against his stomach. Your lips parted in anticipation, wondering what he’d taste like on your tongue and how deep you’d be able to take him. You guessed there’d be a struggle ahead, considering how huge and wide he was.
“Oh, I would not call that monster nothing,” you commented with a scoff, your pussy throbbing with need. “Explains all that BDE.”
Dean blushed. It was cute to watch. “Thank you.”
Giggling, you removed your shirt and tossed it at his face, blinding him for a second. You used that momentum to slide onto the bed and straddle his torso. As his eyes finally found you again, he almost choked on his spit when he gazed up at your perfect tits above him. A primal grunt escaped his throat.
With a mesmerized sparkle in his eyes, his hands trailed up your body and cupped your breasts, massaging them roughly as your panties grew damper by the minute. He then pulled you down to his lips and kissed you breathless before he left them with a boyish smirk on his freckled face.
“Hop on, sweetheart.”
And as if his words hadn’t been enough motivation, his hands wandered to palm your ass and hauled you closer to his mouth. He was an impatient one – or maybe he’d waited years for this and was finally tired of it.
Your knees sunk into the mattress on either side of his stubborn head. His fingers dented your flesh as they grabbed onto your thighs. Yours held onto the headboard for support. You tried not to look down, because then you’d see his big lopsided and full of excitement grin.
The same one he had when you found a diner in Kentucky that advertised the biggest burger in America (it wasn’t). The same one he had when he thought he had run into a member of Metallica at a gas station outside of Phoenix (he didn’t). The same one he had when you and Sam gifted him his own beer brewing station for his last birthday (which tasted horrible, but neither you nor Sam had the heart to tell him).
And now, he had that same grin when he was about to be with you.
As your pussy dripped above him, Dean couldn’t hold back his lewd groans any longer. You didn’t even have to lower yourself; he just dragged you down onto his face all to eagerly. His fingers swiped your panties to the side, and before you could even adjust your grip on the bedpost, his tongue darted into your soaked channel as deeply as he could and sucked you goddamn dry.
With several whimpers, you clenched around his wet muscle. If you were water in the desert, he was parched and drinking to survive.
His nose was buried in your folds, rubbing deliciously against your clit as he lapped your pussy in a vicious attack that left you squirming and moaning to a pornographic degree above him. Because Dean was just that – pure porn.
Instinctively and irresistibly, you ground your cunt against him, the vibrations of his keen groans against your sensitive flesh rocking you to the edge of your climax. He ate you out and devoured you like that damn gigantic burger in Kentucky. And as you dared to blink down and watch him in action, he had the audacity to devilishly smirk up at you with the crinkles around his green eyes alone, gauging your every reaction to his touches as if you were a goddamn movie on a silver screen.
You trembled and quivered and screamed as your orgasm electrified every molecule in your body. You white-knuckled the wood in your grip, your body only held up by Dean’s strong arms because God knows your weak legs were useless now.
As wave after wave washed over you, Dean drank every drop of yours, his tongue never getting enough of your taste. The sounds that filled the room were carnal and obscene.
“Fuck, Dean,” you sighed blissfully and lifted off his face and captured his swollen and red lips in a grateful kiss, your palms finding purchase on his broad shoulders. Your drenched and sensitive cunt settled on his thighs as an egregiously large erection poked your belly and tempted you further.
Dean smirked up at you, all satisfied and confident with his achievement. “I think we have a slight problem, though.”
Your brow knitted, your heart tightening with anxiety. Had you been as disappointing as the burger, beer, and that fake Metallica band member?
But Dean only grinned teasingly at your confused face. “There’s no way I learned my lesson here.”
You snorted and sought out his lips, the kiss giving you a taste of yourself. “We’ll work on that. I might have to nickname you Jaws after this,” you joked.
“Can’t wait for you to explain that one to Sammy.” Dean snorted, chuckling. “Now, how about you hop on again, but this time a little further south, huh?” he proposed with a wiggle of his eyebrows and a suggestive twitch of his cock for emphasis.
You giggled with a few nods. “I can do that.”
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Was it worth the words? 😝
For all you newcomers and as a general reminder, Dirty Drabbles are always open. I still have quite a few left, but you're welcome to send more in, and we'll add it to the collection at some point 😎🔥
PUT YOUR DIRTY THOUGHTS HERE
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caraphernellie · 3 months
Text
last hope // e.w. ✧ [chapter one]
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summary: there was little you could do to calm your excitement when you read and immediately recognised the name ellie williams in the email you received accepting your request to live on campus. sharing a dorm with your childhood best friend who you had missed so much? what a small world- it sounded like everything you could have dreamed of, like it was fate that this had brought her back to you. you could only hope that she hadn't changed, that she was still just as much a loser as you, and that things could go right back to normal. but not everyone stays the same after eleven years.
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an: HELLO. OMG IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS FIC. i love it. i had the idea for a while to make a fic where ellie was this mysterious angsty roommate and i wrote the whole thing (it was a two parter) and i was not happy with it like at all. so i have completely changed the entire thing! basically. but this is so much better. and it's gonna be multiple chapters, slow burn 🫶🏻 im not sure how i feel about this first chapter pls be kind i had covid while writing this (and chapter two which i'm posting tmrw) so brain fog might have fucked this up big time but i wanted to introduce the story <3
cw: cigarettes, foster system, bitchy ellie, bad girl!ellie, good girl!reader, check masterlist for full list of content warnings !!
wc: 1.3k
if you missed the prologue you can find it here!! and the fic's masterlist right here :)
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living with ellie williams is like trying to look after a disgusting animal – it’s like being a zookeeper of sorts. though you’re sure even the angry lions or crocodiles could be more pleasant than she. 
it’s this blatant lack of disrespect that just pisses you off the most. the loud music in the middle of the night, the putrid cigarette smoke ruminating in her bedroom (which could definitely get you in trouble with the dean), the way she seems to have nothing better to do than hurl insults your way.
“what the fuck are you doing in my room?”
and she’s so secretive. but you get it. you hide things from her too, after all, she had declared you her enemy. it actually made you laugh when she’d done so, which had only solidified the apparent burning hatred she had for you. you didn’t even know what you’d done. she took one look at you, recognised you to be her childhood best friend, and then decided you were everything wrong with the world.
“the fuck are you doing in my room?” she growls, a tight grip around your wrist to pull you towards the door. her nails dig into the skin.
“woah, woah, woah, ellie, i–”
“are you after my journal?” she grunts, forest green eyes glare at you. it’s a hardened gaze, and if looks could kill, you’d have been dead five times already.
“no i- i don’t- i didn’t even know you had a journal in the first place,” you say, trying to pry your wrist out of the firm grip, only for ellie to grab your other wrist now too.
“then what the hell are you doing in my fuckin’ room when i’m not here?”
“i’m just looking for my phone charger,” you mumble, looking away awkwardly. “you took it last night, remember? i kind of need it back now.”
“oh.”
the snarl on ellie’s face drops and she begrudgingly lets go of you, but she’s still eyeing you distrustfully. even though you’re telling the complete truth, her stare still makes you feel like you are doing something wrong anyway.
“you could’ve asked,” ellie mumbles, and you sigh, unplugging your charger from the socket.
“not really, i mean, you slept till noon and before i could even ask you went straight for the showers. i have work soon, so i had to come grab it.”
“text me next time, at least,” ellie mutters, pushing you towards the door with a firm hand on the small of your back. “i don’t like you snooping.”
“i wasn’t even snooping, i just–”
“you so were.”
“oh no i was not,” you say stubbornly, narrowing your eyes. “i would not willingly enter your room for longer than a minute, smellie.”
“i- sm- do i smell?” ellie mutters, stopping to sniff herself. it’s oh so charming, the act garnering a small laugh from you. “i don’t smell bad, fuck you.”
“yeah, you don’t, for once,” you retort. “i’m–”
your teasing words are cut short when the bedroom door is slammed in your face. raising your eyebrows, you nod, talking into thin air.
“mhm. okay. i mean, i thought my word play on ‘smellie’ was genius, but…”
you shrug it off, heading back to the couch to put on your shoes and plug your phone in for a little while before having to leave for work. at this point work is a nice escape. being able to get away from complicated words and numbers and of course being able to get away from ellie’s suffocating presence.
nothing but music. and so many of the people you came by in your job at the little record store down the street were so cool, it was how you’d made the majority of your friends. 
and you appreciate all those friends a lot, of course. you’re only three weeks into the semester and you know you’ll be able to rely on dina when the stress of finals week approaches later on.
you’d opted to stick to your own during high school, who cared if people thought you were some loser loner? you were focusing on studies, it’s not like your high school status would matter down the line.
but moving out of home now at nineteen meant you were going to have to find a support system that isn’t just your family– hence the sudden burst of extrovertedness you’d attempted since the start of september. you managed to find dina, and by extension, her very on-and-off boyfriend jesse, and their other friend cat.
but it feels still as though you’re missing something and you know exactly what it is, but lying to yourself is better than admitting you’re sad about ellie.
perhaps you’d got too excited after discovering she’d be your roommate. as you often do as an overthinker, you got your hopes up only to be let down.
ellie was supposed to be nice, still. in your head that inner child in you thought over how fun it’d be to basically have daily sleepovers with your old best friend, amusing yourselves over the same inside jokes, catching up and being able to navigate some of the crazier years of life with her.
but she pretty much crushed that dream with the way she took a step back after recognising you, and the words she said.
“what made you think i was going to be a dork like you still?” she laughed dryly. “that’s just unrealistic.”
and it hadn’t hit you at first as to why she acted like this. of course, it’s just as you feared. she’d moved out of boston to god knows where with god knows who and morphed into this mean, rowdy girl. the grown-up version of ellie isn’t who you thought she’d be, and at this point you felt you only had yourself to blame for feeling let down.
she was right, after all. it’s just unrealistic to think that after eleven years, she’d be the same.
if it’s not ellie’s overarching bitchy attitude she always carries, it’s the fact that you clash heads in every which way. she’s made it a point to snub you for being some kind of ‘goody-two-shoes.’ you told her it was immature, cringe even. the only response garnered being a scowl on her face.
after tying the laces of your docs, you sit for a moment. ellie barges out of her room again, not something you hadn’t predicted what with the loud sound of her feet you’ve grown used to already.
she’s carrying her whole bag, pens spilling right out the unzipped pockets. and almost like some kind of decrepit monster in a movie she pauses, taking a moment to glare at you. “what now?”
“huh?” a brief moment of silence is interrupted by you stifling a laugh. “dude, you came out here basically guns blazing, and you’re shocked that i’m looking?”
“i’m late,” ellie mutters with a frown, not bothering to pick up the mess she’s left behind as she laces up her converse. she doesn’t bother to sit down. “y’know, because i actually made friends in our classes. so–”
“crazy story, bro,” you say disinterestedly, leaning back into the couch. ellie sighs a moment before glaring in your direction again.
“you are a miserable person.”
“as if you’re any better,” you protest. it’s definitely a matter of butting stubborn personalities– it’s not like you want to fight with ellie like this. but your pride isn’t going to let you sweep her indecencies aside just because she used to play mermaids with you in the summer.
it’s just this part of you that can’t help but worry a little bit. she had to have spent years in the foster system. you’d worried all throughout your teenage years, hoping she’d have been treated fairly in the very least, though knowing in some place deep down that she probably wasn’t.
her excessive sleep, her bad habits, hell, even the attitude you can’t move past. it all has you a little bit concerned. 
rising to your feet and grabbing your keys, you move past ellie. 
“i’m working the closing shift tonight, so don’t be waiting on me, just because i’m sure you will.”
your jest earns a chuckle and a cluck of the tongue from ellie.
“riiiight, riiiight. i’ll be naively waiting around for you just like you did for eleven years.”
"i know you're flattered that i was still thinking of you, but there's no need to keep bringing it up."
"you're ridiculous."
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taglist: @dinasvampgf @fadedin2u @eurewili @diddiqueen @machetegirl109 @craz1er4you @divinediors @onlinelesbo @thecowardwrites @readbydayana @slut4mascss @unicorniusfallapatorius @littlegingerperson2 @feelsoseencantdream
boy this app wanted to test my patience while i was formatting everything...
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octoberclidan · 3 months
Text
Giving Up Control
Request: can you do one with sam as a top and being rlly rough, and one (SEPERATE FANFICS OFC) as dean rlly submissive w/ lots of wimpering
Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader
Note: this is 18+. Do not read this if you're under 18.
Dean's Version
Masterlist
Story:
"Sam, I said I was sorry", [Y/N] said as she followed him through the door into their motel room. He didn't look back at her as he set his bag down on the bed and began to route through it. She sighed and closed the door behind her. "Sam?" She said as she walked over to him. She lifted her hand, hesitantly, before reaching up to place it on the back of his shoulder, but he immediately shrugged it off and continued to look through his bag. "The silent treatment? Really?"
He scoffed at her and pulled out a clean shirt and boxers, shaking his head and he closed the bag again. He turned to walk towards the bathroom but she grabbed his arm. He turned around and glared down at her, his nostrils flaring. "Do you have any idea how fucking stupid your little stunt back there was?"
"Yes, I do, that's why I said sorry".
"Oh okay, yeah, you said sorry, that makes it all better".
"I don't know what else you want me to say. I made a mistake Sam, it's not like you've never done that".
"That's not the issue and you know that! The issue is I don't know if I can trust you, [Y/N]. When I take you on hunts with me, I need to be able to trust you to use your fucking head and not step right in front of danger just because you have this need to be the one in control all the time. I told you to stay put and you didn't, you made your own wreckless decision and two vampires got away".
"I know! I fucked up, and anyone they hurt will be on me, I know that Sam, I don't need you to tell me!"
Sam sighed and turned away from her, running his hand down his face in frustration. "It's not just that, [Y/N]. You nearly got seriously hurt too, and it would've been on my watch".
"You're not responsible for me. I'm responsible for my own actions. If I get hurt, it's on my own watch".
"That's not how this works", he said, turning back around to her and pointing between the two of them. "We're supposed to work together, you're supposed to follow my orders when it gets dangerous".
"Okay, you need to back up a bit", she said, settling her hands on her hips and furrowing her brows at him. "I'm your girlfriend, not your soldier, I'm not 'supposed' to follow anyone's orders".
"Would it kill you to follow direction for once? Give up control for once?" He was breathing heavily, his fists clenched to keep himself still.
"And just let you control everything? Tell me where to go, what to do, what to say?"
"Yes". He stepped towards her and she instinctualy stepped back. "Just let me look after you, keep you safe".
"I don't need you to look after me, I need a partner".
"I am your partner". He took a few more steps towards her, and she backed up until the motel room's wall stopped her. "I've been hunting since I was a kid, you've been hunting for less than a year, don't you trust me to know what I'm doing?"
"I do, but-"
"But you want to be the one in charge all the time. I know, it's part of your personality. I bet you couldn't let someone else take control even if you wanted to". He was staring down at her now, forcing her to look up, her head against the wall and his hips only inches from her stomach.
"I bet I could".
Before she could comprehend what was happening, Sam's lips were on hers and she was being lifted up by her thighs and pressed into the wall. His tongue instantly forced its way into her mouth, not that she made any attempt to block it, and she reached up to grab his hair, causing him to groan into her mouth. He kept his grip tight on one thigh, digging his fingers into it, while his other slipped under her ass, squeezing it. He smirked against her lips as she moaned, trying to grind against him. He pulled back slightly to kiss her jawline up to her ear. "Stop moving, you're giving up control, you're only going to do what I say you can do", his low voice rumbled against the side of her face and she nodded enthusiastically. Sam wasn't exactly gentle or cautious in bed, but she'd never seen this side of him before, he'd never been this dominant with her, and she'd never been so turned on.
She wrapped her legs around his waist as he let go of her other thigh to hold her ass with both hands, hoisting her up and stepping away from the wall. He turned around and walked towards the bed, not letting his lips leave her neck as he did. She squeaked in surprise as he threw her down on the bed and ripped her flannel open, scattering buttons all across the room. As she stared up at him she could still see anger and frustration, and she thought for a moment that if she were a vampire or demon looking up at Sam Winchester right now, she'd be terrified. She wasn't scared at all as he leaned over to man-handle her arms out of the flannel and throw it across the room; she knew that even though this was about Sam being in control, one 'stop' from her and he'd be off her without a second thought.
He crawled on top of her, shoving his thigh between her legs as he pulled her bra down to pinch her nipples. He smirked as she gasped and grabbed his shoulders, desperate to hold onto something that would help ground her. He leaned down to kiss her, biting at her lips and groping at her breasts. Her hands moved up to grasp his hair again, pulling slightly and making him moan into her mouth. He leaned back and knelt, one knee still between her thighs, applying pressure in just the right spot. He stared down at her and trailed his fingers from her neck, down between her breasts, down her stomach, and stopping at the top of her jeans. He unbuttoned them and began to pull them down her legs, letting her wiggle her hips to help him, taking her panties with them. She lay there completely bare in front of a completely clothed Sam, but when she reached for his belt he grabbed her hands and chuckled, shaking his head.
"You don't get to touch me tonight. This is about me being in control, not you. This is about me taking what I want, and giving what I want. Roll over, stick your ass up for me and keep your head on the pillow". She looked up at him, slightly shocked by his demanding tone, and when she didn't answer, he raised his eyebrow at her. He pinched her thigh and she squealed before scrambling to turn over and do as he asked. She could feel how wet she was, she never thought she'd be so turned on by being submissive, but here she was. She felt Sam grab her ass cheeks and squeeze. She could tell that he was almost hesitant as he let go with one hand, and she was about to try and look around to see what he was doing when she was pushed forward slightly by a smack.
"Sam!" She gasped, and he smirked to himself, feeling relieved that her tone had obvious hints of pleasure in it, and he soothingly rubbed the place that his hand had just hit.
"Count".
"What?"
"Count for me. That was for this hunt, but you've acted wrecklessly on at least the last four too. Count".
"...one?"
"Good girl", he gently rubbed her ass again and she good feel herself blush. Sam didn't typically use pet names in bed, and when he did, it was usually something like 'baby', or 'sweetheart'. Hearing his deep voice call her a good girl for doing as he ask triggered something inside her, a need to please him again, to be praised by him again. She bit her lip in anticipation as his hand left her ass again, and this time when he smacked her she moaned.
"Two!"
"So good. You're being so, so good for me", he said as he lifted his hand again, this time smacking down a bit harder.
"Sam!" She shouted, grabbing the pillow beneath her in her fists.
"You having trouble counting?"
"No! Three, Sam, three!"
"There we go, just two more, can you do that?"
"Yes... yes, I'm ready", she nodded, tightening her grip on the pillow as Sam's hand slammed into her ass. "Fuck... four!"
"One more..." He said as he lifted his hand for the final time, looking down at the red mark he'd left and making a mental note to put some cream onto it later. He had to admit though, he liked seeing his handprint on her ass. He smacked her one last time, a bit lighter than the last one so as to not cause too much pain.
"Five", she breathed out, the stinging lessening as Sam rubbed gently circles on her.
"Thank you, [Y/N], you did so well", he said. She could hear his zipper going down, and she breathed in deeply in anticipation. She usually preferred to be able to see him when they had sex, to kiss him and look at him, but in this moment, she was finding it easier to be submissive while not looking at him. One of his hands slipped down under her, and his finger circled her clit, applying just a little bit of pressure. She moaned as his finger left her clit, trailing through her wetness until he dipped it inside of her. "Fuck, you're soaked", he groaned, slipping a second finger inside. He curled them and dragged up and down her walls, reaching his free hand under to pay more attention to her clit.
"Sam... please fuck me".
"You asked so nicely, how could I say no to that?" He chuckled as he took his fingers back and pushed his jeans and boxers down to around his knees. He was already completely hard and standing tall, and he immediately pushed into her, filling her up completey. They moaned in unison at the familiar feeling of each other, and Sam began thrusting in and out as far as he could go, slamming into her hard and making her scream his name, which only encouraged him more.
He reached over her and grabbed a fistful of her hair, his other hand reaching under to wrap around her breasts as he pulled her upwards, pressing her back against his chest and nuzzling his face into the back of her neck. He continued to pump in and out of her while nipping, licking, and kissing at her neck and shoulder, his fingers taking turns between playing with her nipples and reaching down to play with her clit. "Taking me so well... fucking perfect".
"Sam... I need to cum", she groaned, feeling herself tighten around him as she felt her climax getting closer.
"Then cum... cum around my cock, be good and make me cum with you". He breathed heavily against her neck as he felt her come undone around him, the waves of her orgasm pushing him over the edge too as he released inside of her. "Fuck", he breathed out, trying to catch his breath as she did the same. He slowly pulled out of her and let her down onto the bed, before falling down beside her. She turned her head to look over at him, and was surprised at how sweet and kind and full of adoration he looked. He reached over to brush her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear as he chuckled. "That was something".
"Yeah", she sighed. "Definitely something".
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" He asked, his brows furrowing together in concern, but she was quick to shake her head.
"No, you didn't. Well, I mean my ass is definitely gonna be sore tomorrow", she giggled, "but I really needed that. I didn't know I did, but I did".
"Yeah... about that", he smiled, leaning over to press his lips to her forehead quickly before sitting up and reaching down to pull his boxers and jeans back up. "I have some cream in my hunting bag, I haven't used it yet but it's supposed to help calm bruises and stuff, I'll put some on you, just stay on your stomach while I get it". Before he could get off the bed, she grabbed his wrist and he looked back down at her.
"I love you, Sam".
"I love you too [Y/N]", he smiled down at her, noticing how tired she looked as she struggled to keep her eyes open. "Let's take care of you, then get some sleep".
The end
Dean's Version
Sam Winchester taglist: @123passwort @janineb86 @hobby27 @angelwiththeshotgun @pizzagirlxnsfwx @livingdead-reilly @fuiabarcelos @vmaier12 @littlemadamred
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highvern · 4 months
Text
Home for the Holidays
Pairing: Jung Wooyoung x fem!reader
Genre: romance, smut, angst, exes to lovers, Christmas!AU, fake dating
Warnings: she/her pronouns, Drug use, alcohol, mentions of aging family members, unhealthy family dynamics, mentions of illness (reader is a doctor), cursing, dry-humping/grinding, kissing, oral (f. receiving), masturbation, unprotected sex, angst, poor self-esteem/self-doubt, pining, some threats of bodily harm
Length: ~24k
Note: God this was such a doozy. I started it on December 1st and barely finished it this morning. Based on Happy Place by Emily Henry (if you like romcoms I highly recommend all her books) and most cheesy Christmas movies (Exmas). Did I project my middle child syndrome onto fellow middle child Wooyoung? Maybe! BUT why write if not to explore your own trauma lmao
Like, comment, reblog, enjoy or don’t! Merry Christmas! MWAH!
This blog is intended for 18+ only! MDNI or you'll be blocked!
June 27th
“So I have some news. I know it hasn’t been easy for us going back—”
“I think we should break up.”
“and forth so much but—What?” 
“I don’t think it's working out between us.”
“Oh,” is all you manage to say before your vocal cords seize.
Your mouth falls open, lips attempting to form words that don’t manage to make a sound. Eyes shifting around the room, the sheen of tears thickening as a few beads trail down your cheeks as you stand shakily; managing only a few steps away from the table before a choked sob wiggles free from an iron grip. People are staring as you nearly run out to the door, unaware that several whip around to look at the man left sitting behind you.
Wooyoung doesn’t chase you down. Doesn’t call or text as you walk the twenty blocks to Lisa’s apartment in the thick humidity of the city night; snot and tears trailing down your face.
Wooyoung doesn’t say anything at all as eight years shatter to pieces in a matter of seconds.
December 7th
Wooyoung
…twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight.
Wooyoung staples the finished packets together, ears tickled by jazzy Christmas music leaking from his computer speakers in the corner of his L-shaped desk. Surrounded by colorful brick walls of a midtown elementary school isn’t where most people his age would find themselves on a Friday evening but where else would he go?
His roommates have their partners over, he’d rather avoid the frigid dampness of the park he usually smokes at, and Wooyoung isn’t interested in the crowds clogging anywhere else he’d think to visit. The usual comforting bustle of the city only serves to set him on edge, making him desperate for a true solitude he really craves. Getting ahead on his classroom prep for the remainder of the semester seemed like the perfect, albeit a depressing way, to spend the evening.
The dulcet tones of Dean Martin are joined by an incoming call buzzing his phone across the wooden top of the desk. A familiar picture of his mom and him as a baby flashing across the screen before he answers.
“Hi sweetie,” his mom yells on the other line. Wooyoung can tell she’s driving home from work based on the poor audio quality.
“Hey mom,” he wedges the device between his shoulder and cheek, using his hands to continue organizing the worksheets for Monday; paper warm in his palms from the printer.
“I’m just calling to make sure you and Y/N are still coming for Christmas. I know the hospital is usually crazy this time of year so I thought I’d double check.”
“Actually mom—”
“Bibi keeps talking about wanting everyone home for Christmas but if Y/N can’t make it she’ll understand. She’s always been her favorite.” His mom laughs.
Wooyoung’s grandmother is impolitely frank about her age and never hesitates to use it to her own advantage. How does he tell her that his girlfriend, who she liked more than her own grandsons some days, is no longer his girlfriend? And how he is the only one to be blamed for that.
He might as well start digging his own grave.
“We’ll be there.” Wooyoung blabs before he can stop himself.
“Wonderful! I’m pulling into the driveway so I’ll talk to you later. Love you!”
“Love you too.”
Fortunately, on a cold winter night like tonight, the only other soul in the building is Mr. Rollins, a janitor with headphones permanently attached to his ears. The colorful combination of expletives pouring from Wooyoung’s mouth would make a sailor blush.
Typing in a familiar name to his message bar, Wooyoung realizes he hasn’t changed it in all this time; the string of emojis from the first night he got her number glaring back at him in mockery. A sting of bile blisters the back of Wooyoung’s throat as he steads himself for what he’s about to do. Who he is about to ask for the biggest mercy; one he didn’t deserve in the slightest.
Wooyoung: Can I call you?
Wooyoung inhales before hitting “send,” locking his phone and tossing it down like it’s possessed.
Barely a full minute passes before it vibrates with her response.
Y/N🥰🍯💖: are you okay?
He can’t even type a reply before the buzz buzz buzz on an incoming call tickles against his palm. 
Tapping into the false chipper personality he reserves for strangers and his class, Wooyoung answers with a simple. “Hey!” 
“Hi.” She deadpans.
“Is it a bad time?”
“What do you want, Woo?”
“How have you been?”
“I’m fine. But you aren’t calling to ask me that.”
Wooyoung wants to object but she’s right. “I’m not but I still care.”
“Sure.”
“Okay, so my mom called and asked if you were coming over for Christmas.”
“Why?” Y/N asks after a pregnant pause.
“Because I haven’t told them we broke up.”
A rush of clattering sounds from her end along with a few curse words sounding far away before she continues. “Are you fucking kidding me? It’s been six months!”
“I know! But I’ve been busy and there was never a good time and it’s just kinda snowballed.”
“Well, tell her now.”
“I can’t!”
“Why not?”
“Bibi keeps talking about how she wants everyone how for one last Christmas and with Kyungmin going to colle—”
“Please tell me you’re not suggesting what I think you are.”
“You know I wouldn’t ask unless I was desperate.”
“I thought us breaking up meant I didn’t have to deal with your shit anymore.”
“I can tell them your busy and the hospital is keeping you or—”
“No,” Wooyoung can picture the hand scrubbing down her face, fingers massaging her temples the same way she always did when his shenanigans got them in trouble. “I’ll do it.”
Now he’s the one to pause, “Really?”
“Yeah, it’d be nice to see them all one last time.”
“Thank you. You’re a lifesaver.”
“I actually need to get back to doing that so–”
“Yeah, I’ll, ugh, talk to you later. Bye.”
“Bye.”
As the line clicks and Wooyoung is left alone in his classroom, the space abruptly feels too big. With each minute ticking by, he convinces himself he hallucinated the entire exchange because there is no possible way his ex-girlfriend agreed to this ill-thought plan. Everything feels too normal for her to extend such undue kindness his way, especially after how he ruined their relationship in a moment of insecurity.
Wooyoung: My flight out is 12/21
Wooyoung: You don’t have to come that early 
Y/N🥰🍯💖: im off starting the 19th
Wooyoung: I’ll pay for your flight
Y/N🥰🍯💖: great
Y/N🥰🍯💖: ill venmo you
Wooyoung: Cool, send me the details
There’s a weight on Wooyoung’s tongue at the new dynamic settling between them. Eight years of dating but now she’s a stranger. The last text messages arranging for their mutual friend Lisa to pick up a box of her stuff from his apartment. 
Six months and he didn’t know if she kept her hair the same way or what new book she was obsessing over in her sparse free time; if her neighbor in Boston’s yappy geriatric dog finally kicked the bucket.
Lovers. Almost fiancées. And now strangers.
December 10th
Wooyoung
Wooyoung wakes up to the early morning bustle of the busy streets just outside his window. His phone clock reads thirty minutes past his normal alarm which means he’s late. And that means his boss is going to tear his ass a new one. 
In a whirl, Wooyoung rushes to the bathroom. He wets his hands with the freezing tap water, patting his face and attempting to style his bed ridden hair. The door shifts to catch his foot as he exits, stubbing his toe and forcing him to hop down the hallway to his room. Wrinkled khakis and a sweater are all Wooyoung manages before he throws on his parka and is out the door. 
He sprints to the subway, just in time to see the doors closing on his train.
“Fuck me!”
“Too young for me buddy,” croaks the homeless man splayed on the bench in the middle of the platform.
Ignoring him, Wooyoug paces further down the station, anger filling him with restless energy. Glancing at his phone, he shoots an email to his principal that he’ll be late due to “train delays.” Thank god for the MTA being a regular piece of shit. 
Finally checking the stream of missed notifications during the night, he uses the lull to answer them.
Mom: Does y/n still like those chips we bought last time? I’m at the store getting a few things
Wooyoung: She said she’s happy with whatever you get!
Not a lie since Y/N would be happy to have snacks of any kind.
SANNIE⛰️: YOU DIDN’T TELL YOUR PARENTS? 
SANNIE⛰️: U R SO FUCKED
At least he can always count on San to state the obvious.
Y/N🥰🍯💖: here’s my ticket 
Wooyoung does a double take when he sees she’s flying out of New York, not Boston. Why isn’t she flying out of Boston? There’s no way it’s cheaper than flying out of Boston and she wouldn’t go through the trouble of getting down here unless she had a good reason.
Wooyoung: Why are you flying out of LGA?
Y/N🥰🍯💖: Because I live here?
A lump of lead hardens in his stomach. She lives here, in New York. She’s been in the city and he didn’t even notice. Questions race forward. How long has she been here? Where is she working? What neighborhood is she in? Why didn’t he know she moved back?
The last question is more his own fault than he cares to admit.
His train arrives without preamble, brakes screeching as it slows to a stop. Wooyoung crowds into the compartment, happy for it to be relatively empty. Finding a spot on the wall, he zones out of the chaos for the next twenty minutes. A group of highschoolers laugh obnoxiously in the corner, snatching one another’s phones as they share god knows what between them. A young mom tries to placate her crying baby, the older man next to her rolling his eyes as he devours his morning paper. When the doors open at his stop, Wooyoung pauses for a second as an elderly woman enters the train. Catching her eye, he offers her his seat; only standing when she’s close enough so no one else tries to take it from her. 
Wooyoung slithers out of the closing doors and bolts out of the station as fast as he can.
Panting and sweating under his black parka, Wooyoung arrives outside the red doors of the elementary school he teaches at. Principal Martinez is tapping his foot at the top of the steps, arms crossed in front of his chest, scowl etched deep on his face.
“This is the third time this month.”
“I know, I’m sorry! But the train got delayed with repairs or something and—”
“Save it. You have a class to get to.”
Breezing past, Wooyoung’s boots clack against the linoleum tile as he careens towards his classroom. The rowdy cacophony of third grade voices echo beyond the doorway, only increasing in volume as he peeks his head in.
A dozen shrill voices scream something along the lines of, “Mr. Jung you’re late!”
“You’re all just early!” Wooyoung goads back, sending a thankful look at the teacher who stepped in to watch them till he arrived.
The room descends into giggles, students finding their places as he settles at his own desk.
“So today, we’re starting with circle time!”
Y/N
“Let me get this straight: your ex asked you to pretend to be his girlfriend and now you’re spending Christmas with his family?”
Sparing a glance from the manilla folder containing notes on your next patient, you see Hongjoong watching you skeptically. The ridiculousness of the situation isn’t lost on you. You’d nearly convinced yourself the entire exchange Friday night was some cruel dream if not for the string of text messages proving it’d been real. Wooyoung’s first real attempt to speak with you post-breakup, and he asks you to pretend he didn’t break your heart six months ago.
“That’s about as straight as it gets.”
Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrow, “And you said yes, why?”
“Because…” 
You missed him? Because you still loved him? Because when you saw his message you thought he was finally ready to admit it'd all been a mistake? 
Because Wooyoung always convinced you to go along with whatever he asked?
“I really like his family.”
“Oh, sweet child.” He clicks, leafing through his own case file.
“Look, it’ll be nice to see them one last time and I’d rather spend the holidays with them than cramped in my apartment to avoid the tourists.”
“Are you sure that’s the only reason why?”
“Yep.”
“This can’t go wrong at all!”
“Shut up,” you say before dipping into the exam room, shifting your face into an enthusiastic smile. “How are we today, Mrs. Haspin?”
“We’re doing okay. Harper hasn’t been liking the new medicine you prescribed.”
“She hasn’t?” You gasp sarcastically, staring wide eyed at the tiny brunette with braided pigtails sitting on the exam room bed.
“They’re gross!” Harper cries with all the sincerity a four year old can muster, her tiny hands wrinkling the paper as she slaps the bed indignantly.
“Well that’s no good. I’ll make sure to check if they have other flavors.” You type a few notes in her electronic chart as you turn over your shoulder. “Mom, have you noticed a difference?”
“She’s not having as many coughing fits.”
“That is very good.” You curl your stethoscope in your palm, attempting to warm the cool metal. “Can I listen to your lungs, Harper?”
She shakes her head up and down vigorously, the pink and gold beads at the end of her pigtails clacking together.
“Alright, take a deep breath in.” The woosh of air entering her lungs fills the room. “And out. In. And out.”
You prompt her to continue several times, gliding the chestpiece along various parts of her back as you listen intently. A few crackles pop in your ears, mucus coating her airways; only made worse by the dry winter of the city.
“Very good, Harper.” you praise before turning to her mom waiting anxiously in the corner. “With the winter make sure you’re using the humidifier as much as possible but her lungs sound better than last time so I’d like to stay on the meds.” You swivel back to your patient. “I’ll check with the pharmacy if they can do something about the flavor. Okay?”
Harper beams, glad to be heard. Her mother beams for an entirely different reason. Her daughter struggled with respiratory issues since she’d been born and as she aged they’d only gotten worse. Harper was the first patient you took when you started two months ago and in that time you’ve grown fond of her.
“All right, I’ll walk you all to the front. I think we can push out our next visit until six weeks since she’s been doing so well. If anything comes up, please don’t hesitate to call us.”
Handing them off to the receptionist to schedule their next appointment, you return to your office for a quick lunch.
Y/N: Because I live here
Youngie 🖤: since when?
How do you tell him that you’ve lived here since the day he broke up with you? How that night at dinner you were planning to surprise him by moving back to New York and removing the distance that plagued your relationship for three years?
The benefit of no longer being in a relationship means you don’t have to explain anything.
Locking your phone, you scarf down the squashed sandwich you brought from home before rushing to your next patient. 
Wooyoung
Wooyoung: since when?
Wooyoung checked his phone after finishing pick up duty, one of several over the next month as a bargain to keep his job.
She’d ignored him. It wasn’t the first time his messages went hours before being answered. She was a doctor, and before that a med student, and before that pre-med when they’d met at some dive and realized they shared a behavioral psych class. Y/N always maintained a full schedule, only responding to the outside world when the night bled into the early hours of the day.
Wooyoung: Did you know Y/N moved here?
Yeosang: Yes.
Well fuck.
Wooyoung: You didn’t think to tell me?
Yeosang: You broke up.
Yeosang: ?
Even his roommate knew she’d been in the city.
Double fuck.
December 14th
Y/N
Another week passes before Wooyoung reaches out to you again. You’re set to leave in a few days but work requires all the energy you can manage thanks to a volatile respiratory season. 
Youngie 🖤: Our flights are around the same time. Do you wanna carpool?
You spoke with Yeosang frequently enough (once in a blue moon) to know they still lived in the dingy old walk up they could hardly afford. The high rise you rented further up Manhattan would be on his way to the airport but did you want to see Wooyoung sooner than needed?
Misery still festered in your veins since the break up. Eight years you’d dated; through senior year of undergrad, four years of medical school, and just shy of three years of residency. And the asshole couldn’t give you a single reason for your break up. No warning. No fighting. The same bouquet of delicate pink tulips waiting in hand for you as you arrived at the train station for your last visit to the city before relocating permanently. Yeosang texted you that very afternoon about his excitement to have you back as if nothing was wrong.
A beautiful afternoon holed up in his room for a late nap before dinner, apartment silent in the absence of his three roommates who’d usually greet you enthusiastically as you returned to the city for a visit. Wooyoung hadn’t acted any differently than the other times you visited, seemingly unaware of the surprise you planned to unveil at the fancy dinner he planned to congratulate you on finishing your long years of training.
But then he sat down and said the six words that replayed in your mind like a curse.
And that was the last time you heard his voice until Friday night; as if Wooyoung dove off the face of the earth. The only proof of living were the traces of him in his friends’ Instagram stories or faceless photos of him in their posts.
You’d never been one to post much on social media anyway but his shock at your move back to the city fanned a sick sense of satisfaction. As if to say “two can play at that game.” Wooyoung cut you out and you’d done the same. Keeping your move under lock and key despite sharing the same friend group.
Y/N: no thanks
You’re toeing the line of rudeness but what’s Wooyoung going to do? Break up with you again?
December 21st
Wooyoung
Terminal C of LaGuardia Airport four days before Christmas ranks among the top destinations no one in their right mind would want to be. Parents attempting to keep track of hyper children, businessmen scowling down their nose as they scream into their cellphones, adults slamming down overpriced drinks in preparation for the endless questions holidays bring.
“Bringing home anyone special?”
“When are you going to get married?”
“Grandchildren?”
The last is Wooyoung’s grandmother’s new favorite. Myungho faces the brunt of it; married three years and in no rush to add another mouth to feed just yet. When Wooyoung flew home for Bibi’s birthday in April, she decided to turn her inquiry towards him and Y/N. 
How fun it’ll be to answer those questions again with his temporarily not ex-girlfriend.
Security is long and laborious. One agent yells at him for keeping his shoes on, another rolls her eyes when he asks if his laptop needs to come out of his backpack. In front of him, a frail looking elderly woman struggles with placing the hard plastic bin on the rolling conveyor belt. Behind, grumbles of discontent regarding her holding up the line rise in volume as Wooyoung helps her with her things; sending a smile to her thank you.
And because no good deed goes unpunished, Wooyoung gets pulled for an extra search once he passes the large metal detector.
A burly pale skinned man with blue nitrile gloves sorts through his belongings with the gentleness of a bull in a china shop. Wooyoung’s wrecked and dusty backpack passes inspection easily enough but the contents of his carry-on end up spread across the shiny metal table for further examination under the sterile lights. Gifts for his family, some books he’s teaching next semester, and a navy velvet box he hasn’t left the city without in the past year.
That is apparently the source of interest for TSA as the man pops open the lid to scan the marquis cut diamond ring before putting it back in its place.
“Congrats, man.”
“Thanks.” Wooyoung gives a tight smile.
Nodding his head to his colleague, the TSA agent steps away and allows Wooyoung to pack his bags.
He really needs a drink.
Y/N
“I’m sorry ma’am, the flight is overbooked. But there is room on the next flight to Denver!”
“No charge?”
“Not unless you would like to upgrade to business class.”
You have the money and Wooyoung paid for your seat so it’s technically cheaper than it’d usually be. However, Wooyoung would take it personally if he found out you sat in business when he paid for a last minute economy flight on a teachers salary. A few hours of comfort aren’t worth adding to the awkwardness you’ll face over the next week.
 “No, thank you. But if there’s an aisle seat available that’d be great.”
She taps on her keyboard with manicured nails for a moment, the light of the screen reflecting on her face, before speaking with a perfect customer service smile. “Alright, your new flight number is AYX287 and you’ll be flying out of Gate 98.”
“Thank you.” You say, reviewing the boarding pass she printed. Your new gate is on the opposite side of the terminal but you have a little over an hour to make it there.
Rolling your silver carry-on next to you, you weave in and out of the other airport goers heading in the opposite directions. A curse of any crowded space, people forget to walk with a sense of purpose. You dodge a young couple, probably teenagers, standing in the middle of the walkway oblivious to anyone else; only to end up behind an gaggle of older women surrounded by a heavy cloud of perfume and cheap wine. One of their shirts reads “Happily Divorced!” in glittery cursive.
More nimble footwork and multiple sign checks later, you reach the correct wing of the terminal with forty five minutes to spare. Confirming that your gate does in fact exist, you turn back up the walkway to find a drink. Preferably several.
The first time you see Wooyoung in months will require the strongest alcohol you can finally afford now that residency is over and you're making the hefty salary you’d been promised at the start of medical school.
A friendly faced woman, old enough to be your mother, greets you as you take a stool at her bar. 
“Cranberry margarita.”
“Wanna start a tab?”
“Yes, please.” You answer, handing over your credit card.
The first overpriced drink goes down smoothly, a little sweet and perfectly tart. The second and third much the same. Pleasantly buzzed with fifteen minutes till boarding, you cash out and shuffle back to wait by the gate.
And in one of the cramped pleather seats of the waiting area, sits your ex-boyfriend.
Wooyoung
Wooyoung is hallucinating. Two gin and gingers and a THC gummy churning in his stomach make the mirage in front of him look incredibly realistic.
In her usual flying outfit, Wooyoung’s ex-girlfriend stands twenty feet away every bit as beautiful as the last time he saw her. Loose gray sweats, the same old hunter green crew neck with the name of his hometown in frayed golden embroidery on the front, sherpa lined short ugg boots, and glasses perched on the end of her nose. The silver carry-on she bought in the airport last time they visited his family at her side.
And a sour look of absolute disgust twisting her lips.
Better he sees her for the first time since their break up now instead of later in front of the audience of his nosy family. In the safety of anonymity, she can kill him multiple times over with her eyes, and Wooyoung can grovel and pander like he usually does.
Or Wooyoung would if she hadn’t taken a seat along the bay of windows at the opposite end of the alcove.
Wonderful.
Y/N actively avoids looking in his general direction for the next fifteen minutes. An impressive feat given he’s directly in front of the help desk and TV screen displaying updates for their flight. But she digs her nose into her phone, tapping furiously to who Wooyoung assumes is her best friend. If he wakes up to Lisa in his apartment one morning with a knife to his throat, there’ll at least be a paper trail of evidence.
The gate agent booms over the loudspeaker, announcing priority boarding and first class to come forward. Wooyoung’s bank account weeps at the idea of flying first class during Christmas. Who flies first class domestic? A true mystery for the ages.
The familiar head of hair, full of murderous thoughts aimed at him, boards with group three. Flashing a polite smile to the gate agent as she struts down the hall without a glance back. 
When Wooyoung is called with the last group, he’s first in line. The airport is a dog eat dog world and his good deeds end where the boarding line begins.
Nearly every seat is filled when Wooyoung shuffles down the cramped aisle, full overhead bins already closed half way down the plane. He doesn’t spot Y/N amongst the faces of passengers preparing for the next five hours, some already knocked out with eye masks and neck pillows.
Seat 27A, a window seat Wooyoung paid an extra $37 for, sits next to a blissfully vacant middle seat. There’s also just enough room for his black suitcase to fit overhead, snug between a gray hard case, and a blue duffle. 
The aisle seat in the row is occupied by a man who looks a little younger than Wooyoung's age, a college hoodie and baseball cap similar to his own. He rises, allowing Wooyoung to shuffle by and plop into his chair. Stuffing his backpack under the seat in front, Wooyoung shoots a few last minute texts. One to his family group chat, letting them know the flight is about to take off; resending the flight number for his dad to anxiously track. Another to his roommate group chat, reminding them to cover the drains before they leave town. And a final one to San, begging for thoughts and prayers.
He barely hits send when the seat next to him jostles with the weight of a body. Turning, Wooyoung spots the man in the aisle seat a few inches from himself. On the other side, his ex-girlfriend.
Great.
Y/N
Wooyoung’s familiar mop of dark hair remains unseen through each new rush of passengers, the plane slowly filling up more and more. You dread to think he got stuck the same way you did hours ago, forced on a later flight than intended. If that was the case, would you be stuck at the airport waiting for him? Given his parents had to drive two hours to pick you both up, the answer is probably yes. And two hours unsupervised with Wooyoung’s mom would ruin the entire plan.
Nature calls you to the cramped bathroom at the back of the aircraft as passengers at the front continue trickling in. Hopefully Wooyoung is sitting far away from you when you return to your seat.
Stupid motherfucker. You think, rattling the jammed door of the airplane stall in an attempt to force it open. Just as you're about to kick the door down, a flight attendant shoves it aside, flashing a tight smile of displeasure.
Shuffling up back to your seat, you awkwardly wait behind struggling passengers putting away their belongings in the sparse overhead space. Thank the powers that be, your new ticket came with better boarding.
Finally catching up to the familiar faces of the rows around your seat, you turn to find two men in your row. One in your seat, and the other your ex boyfriend.
You stop dead in your tracks, with a loud, “You’re fucking kidding me.”
“Sorry!” The man who is not your ex-boyfriend apologizes.
“No! Not you, sorry!”
Wooyoung just stares blankly. If habit and history were to repeat itself, Wooyoung carefully timed an edible before stepping through security. Given his propensity for being obnoxiously early to the airport, he should be high as a kite.
And now you’re stuck next to him drunk as a skunk.
Great.
Taking the now vacant aisle seat, you attempt to ignore Wooyoung once again; plugging in your headphones and pulling out a book you’ve been trying to get through for months. Lisa’s recommendation of smutty fantasy romance with hot immortal faeries. You didn’t see the appeal but at her insistence, you gave it a chance.
“Hey,” calls a voice to your left. 
Nope, not doing this. You think, forcing yourself to read the opening paragraph again but registering none of the words..
“Y/N,” he tries again.
In your periphery, you can see Wooyoung folding over at the waist to look around the man sandwiched between you. 
“What?” You snap, ripping out your headphones.
“How’ve you been?”
Rolling your eyes with a groan, you sink back into your chair, headphones replaced and book in the pocket in front of you. It’s going to be a long flight.
Murphy’s law states that anything that can go wrong will and your flight is no exception. The packed jet is stuck taxing for almost an hour, courtesy of the trademark fog and rain of New York in the winter. You can feel the heat of Wooyoung’s gaze burn the side of your face, cheeks heating under his scrutiny. But the full scale meltdown threatening to unleash if you entertain him has no place in the sanctity of a last minute holiday flight of people just trying to make it to their next destination.
He doesn’t stop when the plane finally lurches forward, witnessing you brace for the worst part of flying; take off.
The loud rattles and pitch of jet engines skyrocket your blood pressure, flooding your mouth with saliva as a threat of vomiting everywhere; a sickening cold sweat pooling at your back. All you can do is close your eyes, and take deep calming breaths your guided meditation apps recommend. Running through the facts keeps you from descending into full panic. Airplanes are notoriously safe. The odds of dying in a plane crash are one in eleven million. You’re more likely to die in a car crash or from something one of your patient’s brings into the hospital.
But the brief suspension in time and space as you rise through the atmosphere unsettles you to your core. 
The panic steeping into your veins is temporary, eager to vanish the second you reach cruising altitude. It disappears like a late winter snow under early spring sunlight, leaving only trace evidence it ever existed in the first place. But it’ll be back with a vengeance under the screaming brakes and the sounds of wheels hitting pavement as you land.
The seatbelt sign chimes off, and the breath you’d failed to release follows the fading light that illuminated it. 
Wooyoung tries to talk to you another two times before giving up. The final instance is a plea for the bathroom, which you graciously grant; thrilling in the relief you feel at his absence.
The poor guy between you two looks worse for wear, having offered to trade seats with either of you so you didn’t have to talk across him. You apologize once Wooyoung is out of earshot, excusing the strange behavior with a white lie that he's just a friend from college you didn’t get along with and hadn’t seen in a while. The stranger's name is Jay, and he laughs at the irony.
“That’s crazy that you two ended up on the same flight. Are you from Denver?”
“Oh, no. Just visiting some family in Lavensville. What about you?”
“No way! My mom is from Lanesville.”
“Small world,” you laugh. “So what took you to the city?”
“I’m in grad school at Columbia. Getting my MBA.” 
“Excuse me.” Wooyoung arrives over your shoulder.
When you rise, you notice his face is tense as he passes to return to his seat. He pretends to sleep the rest of the flight as you chat with the man next to you. 
Six laborious hours pass before you land in Denver. Exiting the plane, you leave Wooyoung behind in favor of waiting by the restrooms on the way to arrivals. You tap your foot impatiently as he stumbles over, clearly exhausted by the late arrival of your flight and the idea of another two hours in his mom’s cramped sedan.
Shuffling next to one another in somber silence, you wait for Wooyoung to speak first. He dragged you into this, and it’s his job to make it work.
“How’ve you been?”
“Fine.”
“How’s work?”
“Fine.”
“Okay. Look.” He turns, stepping directly into your path and nearly toppling over when you bounce off his chest. “I’m sorry for all of this but you agreed to come so can we please at least act cordial?”
Unfortunately, Wooyoung is right. He might have put his foot in his mouth, but you didn’t take the chance to bail. He’s only fractionally more guilty than you.
“Fine.” You sigh.
He pins you with a look, eyebrows arched as if asking “are you sure?”
Shuffling around him, you begin your journey to baggage claim once again, Wooyoung hot on your heels.
“I’m working at a hospital uptown, I live in Yorkville, and I still prefer the buses to the train.”
“Okay, now we’re getting somewhere.” Wooyoung nods. “I’m at the same school, in the same apartment, and still living with San and Yeosang. But Mingi moved to Williamsburg with his girlfriend.”
You try to smother the snarkiness of your voice but a sarcastic “I know.” slips free.
Even if you weren’t as close with the boys due to the break up, they’d been your friends as much as his; especially Mingi’s girlfriend, who’d you introduced him to. Lia invited you to their housewarming party when they finally settled in but you missed it due to work, and the nerves of seeing Wooyoung so soon after such a fresh break up. 
The conveyor belt of remaining unclaimed luggage spins like the saddest merry-go-round in existence. Wooyoung jumps forward to snatch your suitcase before you can react, rolling it your direction before diving back in for his own. Once out of the way, he calls his mom to confirm she’s pulling around to pick you two up. 
The silver sedan whips to the curve, Wooyoung’s mom beaming from the driver’s seat.
“My babies!” She cries through the rolled down window.
Mrs. Jung always gave you the enthusiasm your own mother couldn’t feign. Smiling at her before circling the trunk where Wooyoung packs away your bags, you snatch his hand before he can throw it closed.
“Should we tell them I still live in Boston?”
As if you’ve just spoken another language, Wooyoung simply blinks at you.
“How are we gonna explain separate apartments? It makes no sense.”
“Oh,” he gasps, as if the thought didn’t occur to him. “Ugh, yeah good idea.”
The security guard monitoring the pick up area begins striding towards the car, inhaling to yell a warning. Throwing your remaining luggage inside the trunk roughly, you both sprint to enter the vehicle. Wooyoung plants himself in the passenger seat, squeezing his mom in a tight hug as you buckle in the middle seat. Untangling from her needy son, Mrs. Jung peels out and joins the line of cars attempting to merge on the interstate. 
Reclining the seat back, Wooyoung knocks out immediately, leaving you to fend for yourself.
“How’s Boston, dear?” She chimes, voice light and bouncy despite the late hour.
You provide your stock answer for everytime someone asks over the past three years.
“Cold, wet. Lots of sick babies.”
“At least they’re consistent!”
You try to swallow the instinct to comb through Wooyoung’s hair as he naps. The first thing you learned about him in the early phase of your relationship was that Wooyoung needed some kind of physical contact at all times or he’d die. At least, he thought so. It’d been annoying at first; the constant hand holding, suffocating hugs that left your arms useless as you tried to study, even the overabundance of cartoonish kisses anywhere his lips could reach. But over eight years, you grew to appreciate his special way of showing affection. When words failed the man who always had something to say, he relied on touch to convey the things he couldn’t verbalize.
Even if you say all the right things and act like nothing's wrong, anyone who has ever been associated with Wooyoung will know something is up if he isn’t hanging off you like a koala. So if you’re going to pretend the last six months hadn’t happened then you have no reason not to treat him the way you always had.
Your nails snag on a few invisible tangles in his shaggy hair that spills across the cloth seat. It’s longer than when you last saw him in the summer, top half pulled back in an elastic. Continuing to provide updates, you gently brush the bangs hanging in his face. Wooyoung whines sleepily when you pause, causing his mom to laugh.
“Nice to know the city hasn’t changed him.”
Quick to appease, you start again before responding. “Eh, I don’t know about that. Have you seen some of his shoes?”
“Still?” She gasps.
“Unfortunately, I think it’s terminal.”
Mrs. Jung’s cackly laugh is a perfect doppelganger of her son’s. Shrill and mischievous, compelling you to laugh along in pure glee even if you don’t find shared humor; bewitched by the pure joy.
Once the initial rush of reunion wanes, she insists you doze along with her son. The gentle caress of warm air from the vents, paired with the smooth carols from the radio, lulls you down into a shallow rest.
Wooyoung
As his mom rolls to a stop in their driveway, the gentle glow of the car's cabin lights draw Wooyoung awake. Eyes only a quarter open, he stretches in the reclined seat with an obnoxious yawn, hands brushing the firm body of Y/N dozing behind him. She shrugs his hand off her thigh, burrowing back down into the collar of her sweater.
“Come on, sleepy heads. We’re home.” His mom announces as she opens her door.
Home for Wooyoung is a cream two story, five bedroom, three bathroom, Williamsburg Revival style home with royal blue shutters. His dad added the two car garage himself, meticulously matching the exterior to the existing home, blending old and new seamlessly under the watchful eye of his mom. The now gray and dead garden that usually bloomed wildly below the first floor windows was his grandmother’s contribution when she moved in before Wooyoung started highschool.
When his parents were two college students at the obscure liberal arts college Lavensville was built around, his mom had been obsessed with the very house Wooyoung grew up in. According to his dad, Wooyoung’s mom talked more about the house than anything else; a true historic preservationist to her core.
It was an odd way to ask someone to marry you, but his dad always said “Some women wanted a ring. Your mom wanted this house.”
His dad surprised her with the ring after she stopped crying about the house.
Golden string lights drip from the corners of the roof, casting the exterior in a buttery soft haze. Each window sporting a wreath with a thick red velvet ribbon. A heavy layer of snow coating the ground like powdered sugar makes the entire scene like something out of a snowglobe. 
Another yawn before braving the inevitable blast of chilly air, Wooyoung spots Y/N in the rearview mirror; features curled in a sleepy scowl, eyes squinted against the sudden light.
Wooyoung joins his mom at the back of the car, crowding her away from the truck as she insists on helping them carry everything inside. She manages to snag his backpack and Y/N’s carryon before he can shoo her towards the path to the front door where his dad is jamming on an old pair of sneakers to come help.
“We got it!” Y/N calls across the icy lawn, bidding the older man to stay inside as she struggles with her suitcase.
“I can see that.” His dad laughs, jogging down the salted sidewalk curving along the front of the house to reach them.
His dad lifts her larger suitcase out of the truck with ease, leaving Wooyoung to roll his own inside while Y/N balances her tote bag and his carryon. The wheels grate against the uneven brick sidewalk as everyone rushes to return to the heated interior of the house.
It’s well past midnight as they climb the staircase in the foyer to the second floor. Wooyoung’s room is just as he left it the last time he visited in the spring. The headboard of the tiny twin bed resting against the wall just under the window looking out to the front yard, posters from his childhood still tacked up crookedly. 
Wooyoung tries very hard not to think about the last time they shared the quilt covered bed of his childhood room. How the last trip here had been the last time Y/N slept in his arms, the last time he laid her bare beneath him. Six months and the memories felt as real as they had when it happened.
Sharing the tiny mattress could only mean trouble for the delicate truce Wooyoung had made with her in the airport.
“I can sleep on the floor.” He offers, unzipping his suitcase for clean clothes to sleep in.
Digging in her own suitcase, Y/N scoffs at the idea. “Don’t be stupid, what if Bibi comes in?”
“She’s gotten better about knocking!”
“Yeah, after she saw us having sex!”
Not like that’s gonna happen again.
“We can share the bed, it’s too cold up here to sleep on the floor.” Y/N says as she grabs her toiletry bag and shuffles to his door. “You’re a diva when you don’t get good sleep.”
“I’m not a diva” Wooyoung whines after her, rebuttal bouncing off the piece of wood separating them. 
When Y/N returns from the bathroom, Wooyoung takes his turn to brush his teeth and wash his face. It’s just for a few days, he reminds himself. She leaves the day after Christmas and after he returns to the city he can tell his family they decided to part ways.
Until then, Wooyoung gathers all the patience he typically reserves for the army of eight year olds he deals with every day in an effort to not descend into insanity.
He finds her balancing on the edge of the narrow mattress, a sliver of space behind her for him to sink into. Neither says anything as the minutes tick by, both refusing to fall asleep despite the fatigue swirling over them attempting to find root. Back to back, Wooyoung stares at the wall as he tries not to listen to the gentle whoosh of Y/N breath.
December 22nd
Y/N
Shuffling into the cold kitchen, you barely crack your eyes open as you beeline for the coffee pot resting on the counter. Wooyoung’s mom greets you from the dining table, eyes scanning her newspaper as you reply with a mumble “morning.”
One would think years of twenty-four hour shifts and early mornings would make waking up easier but you’d sleep all day if given the chance; however, Wooyoung suffocating you like an octopus forced you from the heated sanctuary under the covers and downstairs. Already it was too easy to pretend you were still together. Waking up tangled in him, his face squashed against your sweater clad chest as he snored, blissfully unaware of the budding panic attack you’d calmed with a freezing shower full of choked tears.
Planting your rear in a dark oak dining chair around the table, the jolt of caffeine and sugar lulls your senses awake as you scroll your phone. 
You send a text to your little brother, confirming your parents had made it to their cruise safely while your flight crossed the country. Two weeks in the Caribbean, all expenses paid, sounded a lot better than a week in rural Colorado with your ex-boyfriend. Thankfully, there’s no cell service in the middle of the ocean; so you don’t need to explain to your mother why you were spending Christmas with Wooyoung, who she truly was never fond of to begin with.
Sometime after bed, Lisa sent a string of vaguely threatening emojis and a picture of her yorkie with the Christmas sweater you bought as an early gift. Assuring her Wooyoung had been on his best behavior so far, you switched over to skim your clogged work email.
“Do you want some breakfast, sweetie?” 
“This is fine.” You say, raising your mug.
“How can you be a doctor and try to tell me coffee is a healthy breakfast?”
“I have horrible news if you think doctors have time to do any of the things we tell people they should.”
“Well it’s a good thing you’re here then because you have plenty of time now.”
Wooyoung
Wooyoung hates waking up alone. It feels inexplicably wrong. Especially after sharing an apartment with Y/N for those four years she was in medical school. There’d been plenty of road bumps but spending every night curled up under the comforter with the woman he loved made it all fade to black. He never slept as good as those years.
Except this morning, he wakes up to Y/N’s fingers brushing his hair like she always did when they’d been together, and for a second Wooyoung thinks the entire breakup must’ve been a horrible dream. Wooyoung hadn’t moved a muscle lest the passes of her short nails sending goosebumps down his spine stopped. Eventually, the lazy drags lulled him back into the land of sleep as her heart sang his favorite lullaby.
The second time Wooyoung woke up, she’d been long gone and he felt the familiar emptiness he thought he’d forgotten after all these months apart.
Trudging down the stairs with loud footsteps, Wooyoung spots his mom in the kitchen, mouth spread wide over laughter as Y/N sits at the counter, cradling a mug of steaming coffee. If Wooyoung had to bet, the ceramic mug probably contained more sugar and milk than anything.
“Morning,” he grumbles, forehead resting against the cool marble of the island as he continues to doze in front of the audience.
His mom pats his back as she passes to reach the fridge, “Go sit down, Woo. You're in my way!”
“Everyone is so mean to me,” he pouts, but rounds the counter to sit next to Y/N nonetheless, resting his cheek on her shoulder, feeling her startle at the contact. 
Wooyoung hides a satisfied smirk in her sweater when a hand starts scratching his back under his hoodie. He can almost forget their lying to everyone in the gentle passes of her cold fingers chilling against his hot skin.
 “Your brother is getting in this afternoon so we thought of letting everyone relax until this evening and then having a game night.” His mom calls over her shoulder, busy with the pan heating in the flames of the stove.
“Where’s Kyungmin?”
“He went with Bibi to volunteer at the church this morning.”
“Sucker,” Y/N mumbles for Wooyoung’s ears only, sending him into giggles.
Wooyoung’s grandmother has a particular way of guilting everyone in his family to do exactly what she wants. It’s why he’s sharing his childhood bed with his ex-girlfriend, why his dad keeps the house unbearably warm all year round, and why his little brother is no doubt undergoing military grade interrogation first thing in the morning.
Going to church with Bibi was less about being closer to God and more about being paraded in front of her old lady friends with single granddaughters. Wooyoung had been a victim until he met Y/N, each summer at home more exhausting than the last with not so subtle reminders Ms. So-and-so's granddaughter was very pretty and very available. But the second Wooyoung sent a picture to his mom of the girl he had not so casually started dating fall semester of senior year, his grandmother ceased all effort to set him up. And after she met Y/N at graduation, Wooyoung beamed with the knowledge his entire family not only approved but liked his girlfriend. 
Leaving poor Kyungmin to bare the brunt of Bibi’s well-meaning torture almost made Wooyoung feel guilty. Operative word being almost. Because Wooyoung had survived it, their older brother had survived it, and now it was Kyungmin’s turn to endure the special brand of Jung family meddling.
And the second his family finds out he's technically single, Wooyoung knows it’s only a matter of time before Bibi smothers him in his sleep for breaking up with the girl she considers family. And after, when she resurrects him from the dead, Wooyoung will be thrown to Bibi’s friends like a sacrificial lamb to starving wolves.
Stealing a sip of Y/N’s overly sweet coffee can’t clear his mouth of the sour taste.
“Wooyoung, you need to make up the guest bed for your brother.” His mom says, dropping a plate of eggs and toast on the counter for him and Y/N to share.
“What about her?” Wooyoung asks, lips stretching as he stuffs his face.
“She’s a guest!”
Washing down a harsh swallow with another sip of coffee, Wooyoung mutters a “hardly,” under his breath.
“Get your own!” Y/N snaps, shoving the mug out of his reach.
Wooyoung responds with a high pitched whine, huffing similar to a toddler rather than a man who's almost thirty. “Why are you both being so mean to me? I haven’t even done anything yet.”
Rising to pour his own mug of caffeinated gold, his mom quickly claims the empty chair before she bats Wooyoung away. Claiming something about “girl time” as an excuse to get him out of the kitchen before he can truly annoy them to his fullest potential.
Y/N
When the afternoon rolls around, Bibi greets you with a fierce hug and a grandmotherly pinch to your cheek, smiling up at you as she asks for any and every update since she last saw you in April for her birthday.
Luckily, Kyungmin unconsciously rescues you as he enters the house, boxes piled high in his arms of goodies from the other ladies at church trying to court him on their granddaughter’s behalf. Rushing to his aid, you give him a gentle side hug as you walk with him to the kitchen.
“So…” you start, eyeing the stacks of cookies crowding the counter. “How was church?”
A pained groan answers you, Kyungmin dropping his head to the marble counter with a thud. 
You can’t contain your snicker, snagging one of the deformed gingerbread men to dunk in your fresh cup of coffee.
“Only a few more months,” Kyungmin mutters under his breath, the reprieve of college clearly tethering him to sanity.
Wooyoung told you all about Bibi’s ways when you started dating, thankful to no longer entertain doting mothers and grandmothers interested in him only because he was single and knew basic manners unlike many of the men lurking around Lavensville. Poor Kyungmin didn’t stand a chance if Wooyoung hadn’t managed to charm his way out until he got a girlfriend Bibi approved of.
“At least we get snacks out of it!” You clap, continuing to sort his haul as Kyungmin hides in his arms.
A tan hand sneaks over your shoulder to steal the decapitated cookie still in your grip, turning to see Wooyoung nibbling on arm as he observes the collection of cookies, fruit, and other treats.
“Come on!” You stomp your foot like a toddler.
“Tastes better when it’s stolen.” Wooyoung winks, forcing you and his brother to dry heave in unison. Your reaction isn't genuine, only an effort to hide the squeeze in your chest at how easily he can fall back into old habits after months of radio silence.
Wooyoung’s mom breezes into the kitchen, unbothered by your bickering as she types out a text message.
“Myungho and Mia land in an hour. Your dad is already on the way to pick them up.” She rattles off, more to herself than anyone else. “Kyungmin, you need to tidy all of this up. Wooyoung you already put clean sheets on the guest bed? Great. Y/N, dear, would you mind helping with dinner later?”
“Of course.”
Dinner consists of chili you didn’t assist with other than pulling out extra toppings from the fridge for, and everyone chattering around the table. Myungho is sharing some story about his and Mia’s neighbor who refused to close their blinds, everyone laughing at Mia’s grimace when she recalled the horrors of the “tighty-whities” incident. Each time you stay with the Jung’s you're shocked how well they get along, everyone slotting together perfectly like some cheesy sitcom family.
It’s not that your family didn’t love each other, but there was little bonding you together other than shared blood and memories. Your mom clearly favored your brother while your dad tried to make up for the snub by prioritizing you. Growing up with the invisible competition left bitter resentment to this day. At least now, after years of therapy and freedom from the suffocating expectations of your childhood home, you and your brother shared a mutual understanding that it was your parents fault for the animosity between you. Nothing could the damage already deeply ingrained, but you’d become a more united front during family affairs. 
That’d been the first time you and Wooyoung fought in your tentative relationship. He hadn’t seemed to understand how you could talk about your brother with such vitrole, confused why you weren’t more excited to see him after living in the city permanently since sophomore year. Not that you’d explained your family dynamic prior to calling him in a full blown meltdown in Washington Square Park at midnight. But Wooyoung listened. And when you brought up how perfect his family seemed, he quickly corrected your assumption.
Wooyoung knew his parents loved him and his brothers equally. But they were helping him pay thousands of dollars in tuition out of state for him to be a teacher while his older brother made six figures fresh out of college as an engineer. Even if they were happy for him, Wooyoung struggled with the internal conflict of idolizing his brother and feeling like he’d never measure up.
It’d been the first time Wooyoung cried in front of you.
The tense conversation and awkward small talk of your childhood home didn’t seem to have space here at the Jungs, nothing but laughter and warmth filling each nook and cranny. Even the awkwardness of sitting next to your ex-boyfriend, pretending he was still your partner, seemed to be stifled with the company.
“So, Y/N, when are you planning to move back to New York? You finished residency, right?” Mia asks over her glass of wine, eyes bright.
“Ugh,” you stutter, unprepared for such directness.
“Or maybe you’re thinking of moving to Boston?” She eyes Wooyoung.
“We’re, uh,” Wooyoung pipes up, frantically looking at you.
“I’m looking at jobs in the city but nothings come up yet.” 
“That sucks.” Myungho chimes, working to help their father clear the table for games.
Rather than answering, you take a long draw of your drink before rising to hide in the bathroom.
In the silence of the small half bath under the stairs, you attempt to control your stuttering breath. A few splashes of cool water on your face help shock your system but it does nothing to stop the  It’d taken years to perfect the stone-faced facade you presented to families when the outcome was less than favorable. 
A light tap at the door startles you from the nose dive your conscious has taken.
“I’ll be out in a minute.” You call, scrubbing your hands in the sink.
“It’s me,” Wooyoung chirps on the other side of the wood.
Opening the door, Wooyoung leans his shoulder against the jamb, eying you warily. Pulling him into the cramped space, you press the door closed as you lean against.
“I can’t do this, Woo. I can’t lie to them.”
 “Don’t think of it as lying! Just pretend you're back in that drama class in college!”
“Oh, you mean the class I almost failed because I couldn’t act?” You whisper harshly.
“Just let me take the lead okay? All you have to do is be normal.”
Another knock on the door startles you both. When you got so close to Wooyoung, you have no idea, but there are only a scant few inches between you and you can smell the peppermint schnapps on his breath.
“Wooyoung, Y/N. Is everything okay?”
Twisting around your stiff body, Wooyoung nudges you out of the way as he twists the handle and pulls the door inward.
“Yeah,” Wooyoung answers, opening the door to a concerned Bibi. “She wasn’t feeling well.”
Bibi brushes past him, the cool back of her wrinkled hand pressing against your forehead. “Are you okay, dear?”
“I’m fine, just got a little light headed.”
One arm curls around yours, the other gently patting your back as Bibi guides you back towards the kitchen with Wooyoung trailing behind.
“You know, when I was pregnant with Wooyoung’s father I got lightheaded all the time.”
“Oh?” 
Bibi’s implication isn’t lost on you, or Wooyoung for that matter when you hear him curse as he trips behind you.
“Almost everyday I’d have to drink a gallon of ginger tea just to get out of bed.” She guides you into a seat before turning. “I’ll make you cup while the boys set everything up, okay?”
“That’s really not neccess–”
But Bibi is already filling the kettle and rummaging in the cabinets for tea bags as if you didn’t speak at all.
Wooyoung
Cursing his grandmother for making an already tense situation worse, Wooyoung shakes his head as she flutters around the kitchen. Perhaps he should be relieved Bibi moved away from asking when they were getting married and fast forwarding straight to asking for grandchildren. At least Wooyoung hadn’t been as close to being the dad as he was as being a husband. Kids were completely hypothetical; but marriage had almost been a reality.
Kyungmin is already setting up the Scrabble board and dishing out letters. Eight people was far too many so like every year they divide into pairs. Mom and Dad, Myungho and Mia, Kyungmin and Bibi, and him and Y/N.
The board begins to crowd with letters. Bibi and Kyungmin struggle to play anything worth more than fifteen points while his parents brush off challenge after challenge as they fill the board with words like “Paczki” and “Rudistid.”
“Quips, baby! Do you know how hard it is to get rid of a Q?” Mia asks everyone, high fiving Myungho next to her. 
Wooyoung exchanges a conspiratory smile with Y/N before he ruins their celebration. “I know! And when you have a U and an I and every other letter I need for QUILTING on a double word score. Plus bingo for all the tiles we don’t have…Boom 96 points.”
Arms thrown around each other's shoulders, he bounces up and down with Y/N in victory. Their cheeks squish together, matching bright tipsy grins pulled across their lips. Almost like everything is normal.
“No fair! You’re an English teacher!” Kyungmin protests, nostrils flared.
“Yeah to third graders, Minnie. You know just as many words as they do, I promise.”
Y/N doesn’t move from his hold except to take another swig of the tea his grandmother made her. Wooyoung tries not to think about what it means; having an arm curled around the back of her chair while she settles into the crook of his chest, watching his family over the top of her head, relaxing firm pressure of her body against his own. Taking the tentative peace for granted, Wooyoung greedily overindulges in the illusion of normalcy.
December 23rd
Y/N
In the cool toned light of the snowy dawn, you wake in Wooyoung’s arms once again. This time you're both on your sides, Wooyoung pressed firmly behind you as he snores in your ear. A familiar lump pokes against your rear, scorching your skin through the layers of clothes that serepate you.
Wiggling in his grip, you're ashamed of the quiet moan fleeing your lips as Wooyoung flexes his arms to hold you tighter, his hips rolling against you harshly to pin you to him.
Blame it on the months without feeling another person’s touch, or the liminal space that exists when the world is asleep and void of any real consequences, but a hollowness stings your core and dampens your panties.
Years of dating meant years of exploring one another’s bodies, discovering every spot that drove the other mad and perfecting the balance of teasing and satisfaction. You still remember the first night in your shared apartment years ago; Wooyoung blindfolded and tied to the bed, putty under your fingers as you rode him until your eyes felt permanently crossed and your legs numb. And just when you thought the night was over, sated with his cum leaking onto the sheets, Wooyoung knotted the silk scarf around your own wrist and “cleaned up” the mess between your thighs until you actually blacked out.
The very memory has you arching backwards, clenching around nothing but disappointing emptiness.
It’s wrong. So so so wrong. To fantasize about your ex-boyfriend while he’s asleep next to you, none the wiser to your stuttered breath and pounding heart.
But the way his hand on your stomach fists the fabric of your shirt, pulling you into him again, beckons you closer to the edge of temptation. Wooyoung told you to act natural. What’s more natural than enjoying some half asleep heavy petting? You’re already pretending to date him, why not reap some of the old benefits you’d missed in your time apart?
Just as you turn in Wooyoung’s arms, set on waking him with an offer even he can’t refuse, he yawns awake. Arms stretching high, he pushes you from the toasty covers and onto the floor with a bang!
“Jesus Christ!” You groan, jolting pain in your elbow shocking your system as it catches the edge of the bed frame.
Wooyoung’s head pops over the side of the mattress, “Why’re you down there?”
Scoffing, the back of your head thuds against the floor; eyes sinking shut as you fight the urge to murder him. Three more days and you’ll never have to deal with the ridiculousness that follows Wooyoung like a shadow. 
You hear, rather than see, Wooyoung exit into the hallway. Stretching your lungs around another deep breath, you follow behind him. Passing the bathroom door as you pad down stairs, you're greeted with an empty kitchen. The stove clock reads just past nine so more bodies should trickle in soon, called by the coffee you’ve begun brewing. Sending a silent prayer to the universe, you prepare for quality time with Mrs. Jung and Mia. Another day of lying to the people who treat you better than your own family. 
Wonderful.
Wooyoung
Like a teenager with his first wet dream, Wooyoung hides in the sanctuary of the bathroom.Thankfully, his brothers aren’t prone to waking before noon and he stakes his claim by locking the door and entering the steam.
Maybe dry humping his ex-girlfriend while half asleep was a bad idea but Wooyoung knows she pushed back into him with a purpose. He’d heard the whimper she tried to silence, felt her press her legs together the way she did when she was wet and needed his help.
Wooyoung hadn’t meant to launch her to the floor but overdue break up sex with the rest of the house due to wake up any minute couldn’t be a good idea. And with three more days of their charade Wooyoung needed less complications, not more.
But the knowledge of how wrong he should feel doesn’t stop the memories of them together from placating his mind as he palms his aching cock. Months of abstinence fail to dissolve Wooyoung’s photorealistic memories of his ex-girlfriend in compromising positions; bent in half to take his cock, staring down her nose as she sits in his lap. And his personal favorite, Y/N on her knees, eyes watering as her swollen lips stretch around his length, the flared head nudging the back of her throat.
The swiftnesses of his orgasm is a fatal blow against his fragile ego. Biting the meat of his fist, Wooyoung watches his cum sink down the drain. Unfortunately, the confusion pulsing through him doesn’t follow.
As Wooyoung descends to the living room, he spots his dad and his brothers watching a documentary on the Discovery channel. Sinking into the worn leather of their ancient couch, he cracks open one of the books he brought from home. Brave New World wasn’t light reading, but he’d been meaning to give it a try since Yeosang recommended it to him and what better way to spend his free time? 
Soon enough, his dad snores from his spot in the recliner, chin tipped back against the headrest. Kyungmin remains entranced by the colorful birds dancing across the screen while his other brother no doubt taps away at work emails cluttering his phone despite the holidays. It’s the kind of peace and content Wooyoung loved about his family. Co-existing without needing to interact, enjoying each other's presence while living their own lives.
Y/N
The acrid sting of acetone and nail polish burn your nose under the harsh white lights of the nail salon. Mia is happily chattering away, blasting through any stilled pauses or awkward silences. Bibi and Mrs. Jung sit at the counter getting their nails painted by the attendants in calm silence.
You try not to kick the young woman scrub your foot as she brushes against your ticklish nerves, squirming in your seat as she gives a tight lipped smile at your discomfort. For a week off for Christmas you cashed in every favor, picked up every single on call asked of you, nearly breaking under the demand to stretch yourself so thin as the new doctor in your department. The horrific results of hours on your feet were being ground down and clipped before you. 
Relaxing was… difficult for you. Or other peoples’ definition of relaxation was. To you, the perfect day off was running around town, hitting an early morning pilates class followed by an overpriced coffee and finding something to do in the city that offered everything. Sitting still was a necessary evil to get to and fro but it left you to stew with your thoughts you preferred to drown in an overwhelming weight of activity.
“Y/N,” Mia calls, bringing you to turn and look at her. 
Her usually glowing face is apprehensive, lip worried between her teeth and eyes downcast.
“Yeah?” 
“You work with kids, right?”
“All day.” You laugh, trying to break the tension.
Mia hesitates, struggling to find the words she wants to say. “After all the stuff you’ve seen, do you still want them?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you and Wooyoung think you’ll have kids someday?”
“I mean not anytime soon considering…”
That we aren’t together. You finish in your mind.
But Mia assumes the unspoke truth is the fact you’re supposed to be living in Boston while Wooyoung is living in New York.
“I mean of course, but like you guys both work with kids and I feel like you know the worst that could happen! My friend Mina just had her baby and she says she can’t sleep. She just sits up all night watching him because she’s afraid somethings gonna happen.”
“Mia, are you and Myungho?”
“Not yet,” she smiles. “But we’ve been talking about it more and I know I want that with him but I’m just—”
“Scared?”
She nods sheepishly.
Hesitating as you weigh your next words carefully, you think about all the conversations you’ve had with worried parents. Most of the kids and parents you met were under less than positive circumstances. Babies with underdeveloped lungs, toddlers who couldn’t breath from just sitting up. You’d be lying if it didn’t make you question having your own. The powerlessness you felt when no matter how hard you worked to fix things it was all for naught. 
But all of the bad days don't outweigh the good ones. When NICU preemies got to leave the ward with their families for the first time. Having a child take their first full breath because their medication was finally starting to work. The plethora of thank you cards hanging on your fridge and displayed in your office from the families you’d helped.
And you remember all the stories Wooyoung told you about his classroom. Kids who could barely read falling in love with the books he gave to them, hounding him for more stories. When he made way with a problem child, watching them begin to excel under his gentle guidance. Giggling at Wooyoung hiding his tears at the end of year advancement ceremony when all his third graders became fourth graders every year.
“I think being scared means you care. And you can always call me if you’re worried, no matter what happens.”
“I’ll definitely take you up on that.” Mia laughs.
“You’re gonna be a great mom.” You whisper, squeezing her arm.
Mia squeezes your hand back, “I always wondered what it’d be like to have a sister.”
“Me too.”
You look away as Mia blinks, breathing away the wetness glossing your own eyes.
Upon returning home, you find all four men passed out in various positions in the living room. Mr. Jung in the recliner that predates your birth, mouth wide open and glasses crooked on his nose. Sprawled across the floor is Kyungmin, gangly teenage limbs starfished to the edges of the carpet. Wooyoung and Myungho share a blanket across their laps, both with their backs on opposite sides of the couch. 
You four try to contain your laughter at the sight. If there was any doubt about who fathered the Jung boys, the shaggy black hair and symphony of identical snores would easily lay those rumors to rest. 
Bibi shuffles down the hall to her room, claiming a nap to be a great idea after the pampering from the nail salon. Mia and Mrs. Jung head into the kitchen, each teething with bulging bags of groceries for tonight's gingerbread competition.
But you can’t take your eyes off Wooyoung. The only time he ever looked so peaceful was when he was sleeping, face positively boyish and missing the stress induced wrinkles from managing a class of eight year olds. The urge to cross to him and kiss the freckle on his lower lip floods your brain but you’re able to stuff it down when he whines in his sleep, twisting to re-adjust on the lumpy couch.
Following the shuffle of plastic bags echoing from the kitchen, you busy yourself with unpacking the boxes of pre-made gingerbread houses, candy, and tubes of icing. Neatly organizing the packages on the counter, Mrs. Jung pushes you and Mia upstairs as she starts to prepare dinner.
The clock on the stove shows it’s closing in on three, giving you enough time to shower and have a nap of your own before the mayhem of the evening.
Cranking the faucet to the highest setting, you waste no time waiting for it to heat as you jump under the cold water. Wooyoung called you a psychopath the first time he witnessed you shower routine but you’d been busy applying for medical school, working in the student health center, and tutoring in the biology lab, all while maintaining a perfect GPA in the fall semester of your senior year; you didn’t have time for the simple pleasures of wasting precious minutes while your apartment’s old pipes struggled to carry hot water through the faucet. And as they say, old habits die hard.
The chill brings sharp clarity with it. It’d only been two days and you’d already fallen into the same bickering as before, been tempted to kiss him when no one was around to fool, and nearly fucked him in his childhood bed. 
Three more days. You think, shivering lessening as steam billows around you. 
Then you can leave this entire maddening ordeal behind you forever.
Wooyoung
The squeeze of Wooyoung’s heart threatens to topple him to his knees at the sight of Y/N curled up in his bed. His old college hoodie circles her face, lips pouted and eyebrows furrowed at whatever dream world she’s lost in. 
Wooyoung aches to wake her up with innocent kisses as he holds her to his chest, fingers ironing out the wrinkles of her forehead as she breaches the surface of sleep. To smile at her whines of protest of being interrupted from a rare opportunity to rest without worrying about work or some other responsibility.
But what Wooyoung wants, he doesn’t deserve. As bold and indulgent as he might be in front of the prying eyes of his family, he isn’t cruel. Even if it kills him not to touch her like he used to be able to, Wooyoung won’t subject her to the torture of his feelings. It’s the least he can do for pulling Y/N into this sham after ending their relationship without explanation. 
“Y/N,” he whispers, fingers prodding her shoulder. “Gotta wake up.”
She responds with a throaty groan, pulling the edge of the blanket over her head to hideaway.
“C’mon it's almost time for dinner.” 
“Youngie, it’s cold.” Y/N protests as he tries to lift the covers.
Grinding his teeth against the nickname, Wooyoung continues to pry the quilt from her iron grip.
“I can get Bibi up here.”
Flying into a seated position, she blinks against the overhead light. “I’m up!” 
“That’s what I thought.” Wooyoung smirks, crossing to the door. “Let’s go sunshine.”
Y/N mutters empty threats under her breath the entire way to the kitchen, so close she’s cast in his shadow under the threat of Bibi’s wake up methods. Nothing like a woman pushing eighty banging pots over your head to get the blood pumping.
Everyone else already crowds the table, picking apart the trays of snacks as they organize their supplies kits. 
Jung family tradition requires everyone, sans Bibi, to decorate their own house according to the year's theme. After an hour, she picks her favorite and the winner has the honor of opening the first present on Christmas morning. Y/N demolished Myungho’s long standing winning streak the first year she entered the competition; Mia taking her place the next year in Y/N’s absence. Since then, Kyungmin reigned supreme despite his creation looking like a haunted house no matter what the theme was.
“Alright,” Bibi stands once Wooyoung and Y/N have taken their seats at the end of the table. “This year's theme is movies. On your mark, get set. Go!”
A room full of adults, plus Kyungmin who's only a few months short, should act with a sense of decorum and dignity. A fair and clean competition in the name of holiday spirit, family, and comradery.
But Jung house rules mean cheating is not only expected, it’s encouraged.
The table is warzone. Icing dripping off the sides and onto the tile floor. Candies trailing everywhere like shrapnel. Mia hides a piece of Myungho’s roof in her lap, and their mom steals the level their dad insists on using every year. Even Kyungmin slowly starts hoarding the bags of colorful royal frosting one by one in the pocket of his hoodie before anyone can notice.
Wooyoung catches Y/N attempting to eat his bag of gumdrops in his periphery. Their half gone by the time he’s noticed but he simply laughs under his breath. What she doesn’t know is that those are her gumdrops and his are stashed under the table since they sat down.
The little sugar addict is nothing if not predictable.
Most of the houses are beginning to take shape, albeit much more loose definitions of whatever each person decided to do. Kyungmin’s house is poop green with a red roof, streaks of color patchy against the brown cookie sheets. His mom sticks with the traditional decorations instructed on the packaging, no doubt prepared to argue it somehow fits the theme despite being the same every year. Mia’s is laced garishly with pink and pastels, while Myungho crumbles pieces of his for whatever godforsaken reason.
Wooyoung focuses on decorating his tiny gingerbread man with black slashes and stripes.
“Time!” yells Bibi as she whacks the bottom of a pot with a wooden spoon, everyone drops their last piece of candy before hands fly up.
As always, his mom manages to be the only one to finish due to years of practice. Everyone else’s houses are… interesting.
“Mine’s the Grinch,” Kyungmin says.
“The Grinch?” Y/N asks, confused by the horrendous green and red abomination.
“See, you get it!” 
Shaking her head, Y/N points to her own monstrosity. “Okay, so the yellow skittles are the yellow brick road and the green on the house is meant to look like the Emerald City from Wizard of Oz.”
Perhaps if the Emerald City burned to the ground and became ruins but everyone nods at the vision.
“Mine is supposed to be Barbie's Dream house.” says Mia, gesturing to the mound of pink frosting sliding from the roof.
Myungho slams a toy dinosaur from their childhood on top of his pile of cookie pieces before declaring, “Jurassic Park.”
“Home Alone,” his mom chimes.
A chorus of groans around the table answer.
His dad’s is covered in chocolate bars and marshmallows. It looks decent but Wooyoung doesn’t get it until he tells them it’s “Willy Wonka.”
Nodding in appreciation, Wooyoung presents his.
“Nightmare Before Christmas.”
The gray and black icing swirl to make a ugly blob, but Wooyoung will argue it’s exactly what he was going for. Especially with his miniscule Jack Skellington perched in the yard.
Bibi circles the table, ooh-ing and ahh-ing at each entry. She shakes her head at Kyungmin, clearly disappointed in his failure this year. 
“Eunkyung wins!” She cheers, raising his mom’s hand like she won a boxing match.
Claps and whoops fill the kitchen as she beams, proud to win a second time in the history of the competition. 
���Wooyoung, put the winning house on the mantel please.” His dad asks, already moving towards the pantry for trash bags.
“Your majesty.” Wooyoung bows in front of his mom, laughing when she slaps his shoulder.
What he fails to realize is Y/N is leaving the same door he is, and that a sprig of green leaves sit just above their heads.
“Mistletoe!” his mom squeals.
“Huh?” Grunts Y/N, confused.
Wooyoung looks up and spots the infuriating piece of decoration, another pair of eyes trailing after his own. 
If they were still dating, Wooyoung would swoop her into his arms and make an entire production of giving her a short peck on the cheek, his parents were watching after all, while Y/N laughed at his ridiculousness. But now he hesitates as he looks into her eyes, barely missing the nod as she leaves a brief kiss on his lips before turning and leaving the room.
Even under the brief contact, Wooyoung’s lips feel like they’ve been zapped with lightning; his entire body on high alert. So lost in his own world, Wooyoung doesn’t realize he watches her walk away until she’s turning a corner and is out of sight. 
Remembering the gingerbread house still in his hand, Wooyoung continues into the living room to place it front and center on the mantel. 
Y/N
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! You think, watching yourself in the mirror as you brush your teeth.
You’d spent the rest of the night sweaty and flushed, stuttering like an idiot because of a G-rated kiss with your ex-boyfriend for crying out loud. 
What was wrong with you? 
It was like the butterflies of the beginning of your relationship were waking from dormancy, demanding to let loose in your chest.
But none of this is real. Wooyoung only reached out so Bibi wouldn’t be upset over a last minute cancellation. He didn’t ask to explain why he ended your relationship so suddenly. Didn’t try to weasel his way back in and kiss everything better. All the touching and joking you’d missed so much were nothing more than an elaborate plan for Wooyoung to not be seen as the bad guy by his family. His way of delaying the inevitable. 
And you’d fallen right into the mess subconsciously hoping it might have meant something more. 
The foaming residue of toothpaste splashes against the porcelain sink as you finish washing up. Hiding in the bathroom can only buy you so much time before you have to face Wooyoung again, a new feast of tension waiting for you on a silver platter.
His tiny room is notably empty. Wooyoung nowhere to be seen as you burrow into the blankets. Hopefully, he stays away until you're fully unconscious and able to avoid the entire ordeal.
A draft of frigid air invading the warm haze under your mountain of quilts wakes you. Wooyoung shushes your indignant protest, pulling the top layers off. His weight doesn’t dip the bed behind you. Instead, you listen as he shuffles around, the dull thud of pillows and blankets hitting the floor. When he quiets, you turn to see him curled into a ball on a makeshift sleeping matt next to the bed. 
The questions burn on the tip of your tongue. Why is he sleeping on the floor? Was he that upset about the kiss? 
But you don’t ask and Wooyoung doesn’t provide an answer.
December 24th
Wooyoung
Christmas eve is Wooyoung’s favorite part of the holidays. Not even a poor night sleep on the freezing unforgiving floor can dull his excitement. 
He’d risen early, sneaky out of the room the second the sun peaked from the horizon and illuminated the space. Y/N slept soundly, back turned away from him as he evaded her successfully.
A fresh powder of snow fell sometime in the night. So with a hot cup of coffee and a need to get lost in something mindlessly physical, Wooyoung heads to the garage for a shovel to clear the sidewalk and driveway.
Wooyoung knows he should apologize to her. She’d basically avoided him after they got caught under the mistletoe, scurrying upstairs the second it was polite for her to do so. Technically, she kissed him. But the entire situation wouldn’t exist if he didn’t put his foot in his mouth.
Plus, the entire ordeal of yesterday morning couldn’t be ignored. And Wooyoung was ashamed he didn’t feel ashamed.
Mind numb in the cold monotony of moving slush from the concrete to the yard, muscles burning at the strain, Wooyoung loses track of time as the sun moves across the sky.
His dad finds him shoveling the end of the driveway, pants soaked and breath heaving. 
“You okay, kid?” the older man asks, sipping his thermos.
“Fine,” Wooyoung pants. “Why?”
“Because you’re out here.”
“Just helping out.”
“Wooyoung.” A sharp sternness to his tone as his dad’s gloved hands halt the shovel.
He hates that voice. Wooyoung’s dad was soft spoken and good natured, the quietest member of their boisterous family. Always gentle with three rowdy sons that constantly pushed the endless bounds of his patience. Wooyoung can count on one hand the times his dad used this voice on him. Apparently now is one of those times.
Wooyoung looks his dad in the eye before lying to his face, “I’m fine. Really.”
Eying his son skeptically, Wooyoung’s dad clearly doesn’t believe him. 
“Alright.” he drawls. “But come inside, your mom made pancakes.”
Y/N
“Come on Kyungmin, we don’t want to be late!” Bibi calls from the hallway.
In front of you, Kyungmin blanches; terrified of another day surrounded by prodding grandmothers. He looks at you for help, but you offer a sympathetic smile and a shrug of shoulders. If only he knew how much torture you were being subjected to in the name of keeping Bibi happy.
Wooyoung had been scarce since the early hours of the morning, slaving away at clearing the driveway alone. He made a brief appearance at breakfast and lunch but found any excuse to stay faraway from whatever room you planted yourself in. 
Taking the hint, you set up camp in the kitchen. Laptop screen reflecting off your blue-light glasses as you skimmed another journal article about forced oscillation technique and impulse oscillometry. Fascinating as it was to you, it’s just boring enough to anyone else to keep them away; allowing you to waste away the entire afternoon in the most productive way possible.
The sun is already setting by the time others begin to trickle into the kitchen. Mia begins filling snack trays for the trademark movie night; half sweet, half savory. While Myungho sets to work on a batch of mulled cider they picked up at the market.
Kyungmin stomps into the kitchen with a fuming Bibi hot on his heels.
“They’re nice girls, Kyungmin. There was no need to be rude!”
Your wide eyes meet Mia's twin expressions of shock. The youngest was a sweet kid; perhaps he had an attitude sometimes, but he was a teenager after all. To hear he’s been out right rude and in front of Bibi no less, comes as a surprise.
“You’re crazy!” Kyungmin yells, arms waving wildly before he flees to his room.
The sudden silence of the kitchen is rattling. No one moves or speaks as Bibi starts organizing random objects and mail on the counter, clearly uncomfortable with her grandson’s outburst.
Slipping from your chair, you turn to follow in the direction you know he’s bound for.
Winter in Colorado is brutal enough, but the wind slicing across your cheeks as you teeter out a tiny window onto the roof at the back of the house makes you regret wearing only a sweatshirt and matching sweatpants. 
Kyungmin’s lone figure is illuminated in the silver moonlight. A telltale stench fills your nostrils despite the thick smoke evaporating in the wind the second it leaves his mouth. Waddling towards him on your butt, you stop next to him. He passes the glass bowl into your waiting hand without a peep. 
You take a long hit before speaking, allowing the tingle of THC to flutter through your veins. 
“Wanna talk about it?” You ask, cradling your knees to your chest in an effort to conserve warmth.
“No.”
“Okay.”
The thick woods fencing in the backyard bends in the wind. Pine trees shake the fronds like feathers, fluffing up as the wind flutters by. A lone swing, attached to a rickety playground set, swings back and forth. It’s beautiful and eerie. Only your breath and the occasional cough from Kyungmin disturbs the fragile place.
“I can’t wait to go to college.” Kyungmin mutters from under his hood.
“Have you heard from anywhere yet?”
“No. But I don’t care where I go as long as I’m not here.”
“Was it that bad?”
“She’s crazy! All of them in that fucking church are insane!”
“Wooyoung told me the same thing.” You chuckle.
“They just stare at me. It’s creepy.” 
“Yeah, that sounds pretty creepy.”
“And Andi just laughs whenever I try to tell her about it.”
“Who’s Andi?”
“A friend.” 
Kyungmin’s tense response tells you Andi isn’t just a friend at all.
“What's she like?”
“She’s nice. She’s in my history class at school.”
“Oh?”
“And she got a scholarship to play soccer in Georgia.”
“That’s cool.”
“Yeah, she is.”
“So you like her?”
“I mean, of course I do. She’s my best friend.”
“Kyungmin…”
“It doesn’t matter. She’s so out of my league.” Kyungmin sighs.
“Why do you think that?”
“She’s smart, and she’s athletic, and she’s funny. She wouldn’t see me like that.”
“Okay.” You nod, “Well, when Bibi started pimping you out at church, what did Andi do?”
“She got really mad when I went on a date with one of them.”
“Oh, really?”
“She didn’t talk to me for like two weeks. I thought she was just, like, on her period or something.”
Shaking your head, you turn to face the ignorant boy. “Alright, first things first. Never, under any circumstances, assume a girl is mad at you because she’s on her period. Ask your brothers or your dad how that's worked out for them. Second, how would you feel if Andi went on a date with someone?”
Face twisting in disgust, Kyungmin grabs the piece again to take a hit.
“Exactly. Maybe you should ask her on a date.”
Kyungmin snorts at the idea, “Yeah, sure.”
“Party out here?” Myungo calls from the window.
Turning, you spot Wooyoung and Mia peaking around his broad shoulders.
“Yeah but it’s B.Y.O.W.”
“Perfect.” He calls back, folding in half to step on the roof.
“Just think about what I said, okay?”
“Okay.” Kyungmin promises as he links his pinky with yours.
Mia and Myungho land on Kyungmin’s other side, a joint visible in Mia’s dainty fingers. Wooyoung plops down next to you, lifting the bowl from Kyungmin and dumping the ash on to the roof.
As he focuses on packing it, you get your first glimpse of him all day. The tip of his nose is red and he keeps sniffling, no doubt from the hours he spent outside or in the garage doing who knows what. Wooyoung’s hair is a mess of tangles, sticking this way and that in the wind and you choke on the urge to straighten it for him. 
You’ve never been good at staying mad at him, even when he’s clearly in the wrong. And what’s worse is Wooyoung knows it. 
Wisps of smoke pour from his nostrils before he passes you the bowl again. Shaking your head, Kyungmin plucks it from his brother’s fingers.
You feel Wooyoung’s breath caress the shell of your ear before he speaks.
“What are you guys doing out here?” He whispers.
“Bibi.” You whisper back.
Wooyoung nods lazily, eyes glazed already. Landing on his back, he looks up to the sky. 
The pale light sharpens his features. Strange how all three brothers looked so similar yet different. Kyungmin still had the round cheeks of adolescents, limbs gangly as he towers over his brothers at only seventeen. Myungho was broader than both but only a fraction taller than Wooyoung, square jaw and cropped hair. But Wooyoung was all angles and sharpness. Even from the first night he approached you in that dingy karaoke bar near campus, you knew he was handsome. But now he looks ethereal. Like some beautiful demon coming to take your soul and laugh all the while. 
Eventually you all end up shoulder to shoulder, each lost and thought and staring at the lonely full moon above. Wooyoung’s hand brushes your own, sending throbbing jolts of electricity through your body. Hooking your pointer finger around his, Wooyoung sighs next to you before settling. 
It somehow hurts worse than if he would have let go.
Wooyoung
Exhaustion and pot nearly knock Wooyoung out as he passes his bedroom door. An early night, lost in the land of dreams where he doesn’t have to think about why he can’t look Y/N in the eye; why he felt a punch in the gut when he spotted her on the roof with his little brother, taking care of him like Kyungmin was her own family; how he wanted to cry when her fingers circled his own. 
Wooyoung’s attempt to uncomplicate his life only seemed to tighten the noose around his neck.
Jung family tradition dictates a Christmas movie with gross amounts of sugary snacks on Christmas Eve. The tradition started before Wooyoung could remember but it’d been his favorite all the same. What little kid didn’t cherish the opportunity to wake up to Santa dropping presents under the tree? Not that he or his brothers managed to stay awake more than half way through whatever movie his parents pulled from the dusty DVD collection on the bookshelf. But as he grew older, Wooyoung appreciated the uninterrupted time he was gifted to spend with his family, especially with each of them living in separate corners of the country.
The new set of matching pajamas every year were simply a bonus.
This year’s boast a deep green with a vintage Christmas light pattern. The inner flannel is positively delightful against Wooyoung’s freezing skin, lulling him into a light doze as leans against the couch between Y/N’s spread legs. 
Kyungmin sprawls in his usual place on the rug in front of the coffee table, glazed eyes glued to Will Ferell terrorizing New York City in yellow tights. Mia and Myungho are off on the other side of the couch, Bibi taking the middle seat. His parents are snug in his dad’s recliner, resembling two teenagers rather than the fifty year olds they really are. Adorably disgusting how in love they still are. 
Resting his cheek against Y/N’s knee, Wooyoung twists his hands in his lap. He can’t touch her. Not sober and absolutely not high out of his mind like he is at this very moment. Because if he starts, Wooyoung is too weak to stop himself. And considering the way she keeps staring at him every time she thinks he isn’t looking, Wooyoung doesn’t think Y/N would want him to stop either. 
Bedtime is the same awkward dance as before. His entire family pulls each other into tight hugs, mostly aided by the edibles Myungho slipped them before they all descended downstairs. Calls of “Love you,” and “see you in the morning,” land against his back as he trails behind Y/N.
They get ready for bed in the dark, flashes of bare skin visible in the light trickling in from the cracked curtains covering the lonely window. Turning to face the wall, Wooyoung plugs in his phone while he listens for her to land on the mattress.
When the shuffling ceases, he finds her in a nest on the floor, back towards him.
“What are you doing?”
“You took the floor last night.”
“You don’t hav–”
“Just go to bed.” She bites, voice fragile.
“You’re not sleeping on the floor,” he huffs, temper rising as he crosses to the other side of the mattress.
“I’m fine.” 
“Just take the bed.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Sitting up, Wooyoung barely makes out her scowl. “Why do I need to explain everything to you?”
“Why are you being so stubborn?”
“I’m stubborn? Me?”
“Considering you’re the one on the floor while the bed is empty, yes you’re the stubborn one.”
“Because I’m fine here!”
Wooyoung wades through the quicksand of his brain for a response. Upon finding none, he flops on the pile of blankets next to her.
“What are you doing?”
“Sleeping. Now shut up.”
“Wooyoung,” she sighs.
No more energy to fight, Wooyoung burrows deeper into the mound of quilts; set to sleep next to her on the floor if she continues to refuse the bed. If he was a diva on poor sleep, Y/N was a menace. She’d cave eventually when her hips ached from the painful stiffness of the unbending wood.
Except Wooyoung can’t sleep. All of his nerves are heightened next to her. His entire left side burns in her heat, acutely aware of every shift of her weight or rustle of the blankets. Wooyoung’s lips still burn from their kiss. A childish brush against his mouth but he can’t stop replaying it in his mind over and over. And when he thinks about yesterday morning, when he dreamed about her and then woke up flushed against her, it all makes his blood rush to his head and a weight settles on the back of his tongue.
When Y/N stops twitching beneath the covers behind him, breath even and shallow, Wooyoung finally follows her into sleep.
December 25th
Wooyoung
Christmas morning brings Bibi through the upstairs hallway with a familiar wooden spoon and small tin pot. Wooyoung hears the first crash slide under the crack beneath his door, an ice bath to his system.
He’s still on the floor, a foot between him and Y/N. 
“Get up.” Wooyoung shakes her, not wasting a second as he stands to dive into the still made bed.
She groans in the morning light, eyes crusted as she looks for the disturbance.
Another shrill beat sings through the hall. Much closer to Wooyoung’s door than last time.
“Shit!” 
Y/N tackles him into the pillows. Both attempting to look natural as the door rebounds against the wall, a well rested Bibi standing in the doorway.
“RISE AND SHINE!” His grandmother wails, drumming a rhythmless beat and she turns to stalk towards Kyungmin’s room at the end of the hall.
Dual sighs of relief leave their lips, Y/N rising to stalk to the bathroom without looking back.
Y/N
Mrs. Jung’s victory grants her the privilege of opening the first present this morning. Everyone gathers around, matching states of messy hair and bed-wraggled pajamas, to shred shiny wrapping paper at ten in the morning.
Her first gift is the large rectangle box addressed from her sons, all of them failing to stifle their matching laughter as she slowly unwraps the picture frame. You and Mia had helped arrange the picture last time everyone was together for Bibi’s birthday, sneaking out of the house with the excuse of seeing a movie when you drove to the mall for an old school photoshoot at the department store. 
Wooyoung’s parents join in the giggling bouncing of the walls as they take in all three boys dressed head to toe in denim, arms wrapped around on another’s waists prom-date style as they stare dead faced at the camera. The cherry on top is their matching bowl cuts, making them resemble a nineties boy band. Another frame slips out of the paper, a similar photo of you and Mia except her chin rests on top of your head, eyes obscured by yellow tinted sunglasses.
“Oh my god,” Mrs. Jung guffaws. “You all are ridiculous.”
Passing the frames around the room, Mrs. Jung takes turns hugging her sons along with you and Mia. 
“Oh, my girls. Thank you for putting up with them.” She whispers into your ears, Mia on her left and you on her right. 
You refuse to think about how tomorrow you’ll leave their house for the last time as you squeeze her back tightly. 
As the youngest, Kyungmin is charged with passing out rounds of presents while Mr. Jung collects the discarded ribbons and paper. Thankfully, bringing a gift for Wooyoung wasn’t an expectation. Why sacrifice sacred luggage space to exchange gifts with someone who lives in your backyard? Mia and Myungho never brought their gifts for one another, and you and Wooyoung followed suit.
But that didn’t stop you from braving the hoards of the city in an effort to last minute Christmas shopping before flying out. Bibi loves the fancy lotion you brought her, and Kyungmin is more than satisfied with the promise of whatever new video he can afford with a Playstation gift card. Wooyoung’s parents leaf through the books you bought in a last ditch effort to provide some sort of parting gift. Myungho screams as he unwraps the mug with “IBS: I be shitting” blasted across the front and Mia opens each tin of specialty tea for a whiff of the herbal scents.
Hours later, surrounded in the disarray of boxes and bows, Mrs. Jung announces it’s time for brunch. Everyone takes turns washing up or teetering upstairs to brush their teeth but she pulls you aside before you have a chance to follow.
“Y/N, we have one last gift for you.” She whispers, removing a small box from behind her back. “I didn’t want to give it to you in front of everyone just in case but I want you to know how much we all love you.”
You pull out a cardboard box and a thick card.
“To my future Daughter in Law,
There isn’t a single day I don’t thank the stars for how lucky my son is to find someone as incredible as you. He’s a better person because of you and our family is so blessed to have you in it. I was lucky enough to be given three amazing sons but now I’m fortunate enough to have two daughters as well. 
Love, Mrs. Jung”
Each word is a new punch to the gut, tears swelling in the corner of tight eyes. Focusing on opening the box in an effort not to break down in the hallway, you unveil a simple silver chain with a knotted pendant. The same you’ve seen Mia and Mrs. Jung wear on special occasions.
“Oh, I can’t—”
“Nope. I won’t hear a word of it! It’s family tradition. Bibi gave me mine, and now I get to give you yours.”
“But I really—”
But Wooyoung’s mom is a force to be reckoned with. Slipping the delicate piece of jewelry out of the box, she slips it around your neck and straightens it before you can stop her. When she’s happy, you fall into her arms in a fierce hug as you weep into her shoulder.
“Oh sweetie,” she coos, patting your back comfortingly; clearly thinking you're overcome with emotion at officially being a part of the family.
You don’t correct her. Why ruin such a heartfelt moment by shattering the illusion now that you're so close to the end? Instead, you take comfort in her embrace, willing the tears to stop with the same principle you use in the hospital: save the crying for the shower.
Stepping out of the hug, you allow her to wipe away the trails of tears marring your cheeks with soft swipes of her thumbs, a soft smile at her tutting over you. Mrs. Jung pulls you into one last bear hug before pushing you upstairs to compose yourself.
Wooyoung stares as you pass him on the stairs, evidently alarmed at the evidence of your crying. But you keep your eyes down as you trudge by. 
Wooyoung
Wooyoung can’t help but worry at what happened between presents and breakfast to make Y/N so upset but his mom keeps squeezing her shoulder and Bibi just smiles knowingly in her direction. The new necklace circling her neck is familiar but Wooyoung can’t place why and he hasn’t had the opportunity to ask. 
Crowding into the living room as the sun sets, he doesn’t miss the way Mia intertwines Y/N into a fierce squeeze, practically bouncing off the walls with giddiness. He doesn’t have time to ask what it’s about before another movie is starting on the TV to wind down for the evening.
He can feel the tension rolling off her in waves next to him. Muscles locked and leg jittering the same way it did before she had to take her MCAT or open exam results. When the screen fades to black, Y/N is up the stairs and out of sit before he can blink.
Following her up, Wooyoung finds her perched on the edge of his bed, fingers stroking the pendant resting between her collarbones. Shut in the quiet of his room, Wooyoung asks the question that’s buzzed in his veins all day.
“What’s the necklace about?”
“Your mom gave it to me.”
“I thought so.” He nods. “But why was everyone acting weird about it?”
Rather than answer, Y/N hands him a note. Wooyoung recognizes the tight cursive of his mom’s handwriting. Regret trickles down his spine and bubbles over with each word. He’d never meant to be cruel when he asked Y/N to come here but then again he didn’t think about how hard this must have been for her. To secretly say goodbye to his family and their relationship after she was already working through it on her own. He should have known she was bottling it all up, the same way he was prone to.
“I didn’t realize she’d—”
“Why did you break up with me?” She asks, still staring at the floor.
Regret transforms into the shame that’s eaten him alive for months. Wooyoung’s mouth won’t form the truth for what he did so he lies.
“I don’t know.”
“Bullshit!” She bites, glazed eyes blazing as she rounds on him. “Eight years. We dated for eight years and you think you can tell me you don’t know why?”
“We dated for eight years and you didn’t even say anything when I did it! You just left.”
“Oh, I’m sorry! What was I supposed to do? Beg you to stay?”
“You just gave up.”
“No, you gave up!” her voice cracks, finger pointing accusingly. “I didn’t even know we were having problems.”
“Boston was always a problem!”
“Which I was already planning to fix.”
Wooyoung recoils from the invisible smack against his face. Is that what she was planning to tell him when he interrupted her? 
“What?”
“That night I was trying to tell you I got a job in the city. That I was moving back.”
“You’re joking.”
Shoulder sagging under the weight of their mess, Y/N falls back onto the bed.“It was gonna be my last weekend trip down.”
Sniffles and desperate breaths fill the space. And Wooyoung gathers the courage to tell her the truth.
“I was planning to propose.” He can see her head turn in his peripheral, but he’ll lose the gaul if he sees her face so Wooyoung stares at the wall ahead as he speaks. “I had the ring for a year. And I was gonna ask you but I…” he trails off.
“You what?”
“I got scared.”
“Of me?”
“Of everything. I thought of how much we’d have to change, and I didn’t want you to feel like you had to give anything up to be with me.”
“Wooyoung, I never felt like that.” She objects, shaking her head. “I hated Boston. Do you think I was moving back to the city for you?”
“Kind of, I—”
“I have my own life there. I lived there for seven years! I was always planning to move back.”
“Then why were you being so secretive about it?”
“I wanted it to be a surprise. I knew you’d been stressed and I ddin’t want to add something else to your plate and… because I was worried if I brought it up too soon something would go wrong.”
“I still have it by the way.”
“What?”
“The ring.”
“Why?”
“I think some part of me feels like if I let it go then it’s really over.”
“Are you trying to tell me you want to get back together?”
“I didn’t want to break up to begin with.”
“Then why’d you do it?”
“Because I’m not good enough for you! I’ve never been good enough and I know you say it's not true but it is. I’m a public school teacher with shit pay and an apartment I can barely afford. That’s all I can offer you and it isn’t close enough to what you deserve.”
“Do you think I’m that shallow?” Y/N fumes, clearly not understanding what Wooyoung meant. “Why do you think you get to decide what's good enough for me?”
“Because someone has too! One day you’re gonna wake up and realize you can have anyone you want.”
“Not anyone.”
Y/N
The suffocating atmosphere of Wooyoung’s room pushes you into the chilly shower stall. In the stifling steam and perfumed bubbles, you quietly let all the emotions of the day run wild; eyes puffy, face swollen, and snot dripping from your nose to be washed away by the boiling streams of water. You hide for as long as possible, shivering as the heated water runs out and frigid ropes blast your skin. Unable to endure anymore of the stinging icicles, you exit the stall red nosed and blue lipped. 
Wooyoung sits on the edge of the bed with his back to the door. You watch his shoulder tense, rising closer to his ears as you pad closer to lay down. 
You’re too tired to sleep on the floor, too exhausted to fight with him again. So you curl under the covers, body sliding back when Wooyoung joins you. 
“I’m sorry.” he whispers, tracing his index finger along the knobs of your spine, attempting to comfort you the same way he always had.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.”
You both stay there in the silent darkness, their breaths and the hum of the heater keeping absolute stillness at bay. The tears you split in the shower followed you to the pillow, running down your cheeks as you try to keep the worst at bay. Wooyoung doesn’t stop tracing shapes between your shoulder blades, the worn cotton of your sleep shirt rubbing against your heated skin. How is the source of your distress the same as the source of your comfort?
Turning to face him, you realize how close he’s moved. Scant inches separate your chests, the heat of his legs licking your own bare ones under the blankets. You spot his own tears, eyes swollen and red, thick lashes clumped together as they fall.
If your love for Wooyoung was an ocean, you’d be lost at sea for years. 
He watches you watch him, hands finding one anothers and tangling together. When Wooyoung opens his mouth, pausing as a sniffle breaks free, you surge up to connect your lips.
Startling for only a second, he eagerly kisses you back. Tears and spit gloss your lips as you dip your tongue into his mouth, licking against his teeth before retreating to bruise his lower lip with your own. Wooyoung manages to roll on top of you, pinning you to the mattress as if you plan to up and leave at any second. You respond by crushing your lips together a fraction harder, attempting to communicate the longing and hurt words can’t convey.
The hem of his shirt finds its way between your fingers, moving further up his stomach with each insistent tug. Wooyoung’s own hands busy themselves, one buried in the hairs at the base of your scalp, cradling your head to move you this way and that as he continues exploring your mouth. The other wrinkles the pillow case beside you, muscles rippling as he holds himself over you. 
When you wiggle your hips, thighs spreading to cradle him between, he dives to your neck. Blood rushes to the surface as he nips and bruises the delicate skin below your jaw, scorching pants raising goosebumps in its wake. He shudders when your nails scratch down his abdomen, thumb dipping under the band of his pajama pants.
It's been nearly eight months without this. Two months before your breakup, in this very bed while the rest of the house was asleep as Wooyoung laughed into your neck while you drunkenly whined for him to touch you.
As familiar as those memories are, this time is entirely new. 
Wooyoung’s thumb, knowing and skilled, brushes across one of your nipples over your shirt, using the rough fabric to his advantage; stiffing it to a tight peak before allowing the weight to settle in his palm. Arching your back, you remove the piece of cloth separating you. Wooyoung barely allows you space to slough it over your head before he’s back on you, latching to the side of your neglected breast as he curls his hips into yours coursley. Your body reacts on nothing but instinct; back arching closer, thighs spreading wider as his knees carry him further down the mattress.
Reverent caresses of his hands lead him to the apex of your thighs, his breath fanning the damp patch of your shorts just before Wooyoung tucks his thumbs into the elastic to nudge them down, breathing deeply as he bares you for his eyes.
A tentative lick up length of your slit pulls a pathetic whimper from the back of your mouth. The flat of his tongue lave against your engorged clit, slow and torturous as Wooyoung indulges in your taste. Rough palms slide beneath the meat of your thighs, lifting your legs to rest on his shoulders. A harsh suck against the bundle of nerves locks your muscles tightly around Wooyoung’s head but he takes it in stride as he drops a hand to slip his fingers inside your clenching hole. Curling the pads of his digits upwards, you feel him in your throat as you bite back moans. Your fingers twist in Wooyoung’s inky hair at the delicious torture, hips rocking into his eager mouth as he pants against you; refusing to separate from your drenched center. 
When his unoccupied hand slips into your own, a death grip on your entertwined fingers, you fall apart. Your chapped lips nearly bleed from effort to remain quiet, writhing in Wooyoung’s hold as he continues to lap up everything you offer him.
A final suck against your clit has you scrambling to pull his mouth to your own, tasting yourself on his soaked cheeks and tongue.
“Please,” you whisper into his mouth.
Wooyoung responds by kissing you gently, the passion curling your toes while he fists his length before allowing the flared head to nudge your entrance.
Finally presses forward, fitting inside you as he always has, another tear burns down to your face. It all comes rushing forward, never ending waves rolling over you after you’ve been knocked down into the surf. Memories, good and bad, race through you at a breakneck speed. The tingling elation of the night Wooyoung asked you to be his girlfriend, the nerves of when you asked him to move in together during medical school. Sadness when you moved away for residency with the promise to come back. The numbing despair you felt the night you thought would be a turning point in your lives. The straw that breaks the camel's back is Wooyoung's admission that you’re too good for him. Choking your own pain down, you try to hone in on a spot on the ceiling in an effort to stay grounded.
Several seconds pass before Wooyoung notices the fresh bout of sobs, mistaking choked whimpers as whines of pleasure after such a long time apart. His nose traces the tendon of your neck as he cants his hips slowly, one hand still tangled in yours, the other pressing your knee up and around his waist to stretch deeper. When the dig of your nails into his shoulder turns from a sting to a cut, he leans back and realizes his mistake.
Eyes find one another through the distorted haze your sorrows create, his rounded with concern still glazed with evidence of his own tears. Staring at one another in a silence broken by sniffling and staccato breaths, a second set of tears mix with your own as he rests his forehead against yours. Locking your arms around Wooyoung’s broad shoulders and hooking your knees around his back, you try to seal him into your skin. 
“I’m sorry.” he whispers, voice broken and cracked. “I’m so sorry. I–” he hiccups. “I didn’t–”
What he’s apologizing for is a mystery. Forcing you into this charade? Telling you he was planning to propose? Breaking up with you in the first place? 
Perhaps it's all those things. Maybe it's none of them.
“I love you.” He whimpers into your hair, lips branding the words into your skin.
It’s not enough. But for tonight, you’ll let it be.
“I love you, too.” you whisper back, straining to brush the tip of your nose against his own.
Tomorrow, you’ll fly back to the city and hide in your apartment and pretend to be okay. Dive so far into your work that you forget the way Wooyoung has ripped the healing wound on your heart open again.
Tonight, you’ll pretend the missing piece has finally been found and can stay forever.
Tensing your thighs, your locked ankles nudge at the dip of his spine to remind Wooyoung he’s still inside you. He hesitates for a moment but your lips silence his objections, just as eager to indulge in the fantasy as you are.
The pace is bruising, stomachs firmly pressed together as he reaches for the top of the bed frame to provide more leverage. Wooyoung’s back ripples and flexes as he pounds into you, the vibration of his weak moans tickling the sensitive pads of your fingers as they etch down his ribs.
Consumed by an overwhelming need to touch him everywhere, you cradle his face between your palms. Wooyoung flashes his eyes open, as if startled you’re still there, before leaning into one of them. Thumb tracing his lips, he drops a searing kiss to the crease of your knuckle. The tenderness burns the remaining oxygen out of the room.
His next word is so quiet your ears fail to detect them over the slap of your bodies connecting or the squeak of the old bed frame. But Wooyoung’s said them against your skin enough times over the years for you to know the feel of his mouth forming around the sound.
You come with a muted whimper. So worn from tears, pleasure fizzles in your veins like the gentle ripple of the wind through the trees. Clenching around Wooyoung harshly, the tell tale hitch in his breath signals the beginning of his end. 
But he is truly done for when you lean up and whisper his words back into his ear, “forever.”
December 26th
Wooyoung
Wooyoung wakes to an empty bed, cold sheets, and the pillowcase squishing his cheek already damp from the tears he shed while sleeping.
December 29th
Wooyoung
A tedious drive to the airport grants Wooyoung ample time to stew in discontent, replaying the events of the past week over and over in his head.
Was he insane to think Y/N wanted him too? All the moments he nearly forgot they’re barely more than strangers after months of silence, how they still fit together so perfectly. Wooyoung knew he’d been a mess after the break up but the past week made him realize how lost he felt without her. Like the ocean without the moon to guide the tide; like he was missing half his heart. How many times had he opened his messages to text her something mundane from his day, just to close them and realize he’d ruined the best thing in his life in a second of weakness? And now having her next to him again, knowing he can’t fix what he did?
“When were you planning to tell us you two broke up?”
“Huh?”
“Wooyoung, I know.”
“How… she told you?”
“Poor thing was crying the entire way to the airport. I told her I wouldn’t let her fly by herself if she was that upset until she explained.”
“What’d she say?”
“That you two broke up a few months ago but you didn’t want to disappoint us.”
“Did she say anything else?”
“You know Y/N, always keeps her cards close to her chest.” His mom looks at him from the corner of her eye. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
“I made a mistake.”
“If you two weren’t happy then it wasn’t a mistake.”
“But we were happy! She’s the one and I messed it up because I’m not good enough for her.”
“Where is that coming from?”
“I know you and dad wanted me to be an engineer like Myungho, okay? Even Kyungmin wants to be a lawyer! I’m the family disappointment. It only makes sense I’d disappoint Y/N too.”
Wooyoung’s mom is notorious for going under the speed limit, waiting to turn even if the oncoming car is five hundred feet away, and using her blinker religiously. Which is why Wooyoung thinks she’s having a seizure when she veers off the road and onto the shoulder like an F1 driver.
“You are not a disappointment! To me or your father or anyone. You are my son, and I have always been proud of that. I’ve seen you teaching, the way those kids look up to you. You’re doing exactly what you were meant to. And if my worrying has made you feel that way then I am so sorry. I’ll we’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy sweetie.”
Crossing his arms, Wooyoung flicks away the beads of moisture tracing down his chin. “You’re my mom, you have to say that.”
“Well I’m not Y/N’s mom but I talk about her the same way.”
“Yeah well she’s a doctor, saving kids lives and all that.”
“You don’t think you do the same thing? Those kids come to school excited to learn because of you. Just because you’re not finding a cure for cancer doesn’t mean your job isn’t important. And Y/N isn’t disappointed with you either. She loves you, Wooyoung. Why don’t you let her decide what she wants?”
“Yeah, well I think it’s too late for that.” Wooyoung mumbles, eyes on the toes of his shoes.
“Maybe you should ask her if she thinks so.”
December 30th
Wooyoung
Rather than give into his impatience, Wooyoung stews on his mom’s advice. And each passing hour conveniences him more and more she’s wrong. Especially when San and Yeosang sit with him in their cramped living room, bottles of beer and empty takeout littering the coffee table.
“You’re pathetic.”
“Fuck you.” Wooyoung responds.
San, red faced and tipsy, slaps the leather armrests of the chair before rising.“Fuck you! You broke up with her over nothing and instead of trying to get her back you have a fucking pity party? Grow a pair.”
“She doesn’t want me!”
“Did you ask her?” 
“I don’t have to!”
“You’re an idiot.” Yeosang butts in.
Wooyoung knows his hesitation speaks for itself when Yoesang keeps talking.
“You can ask her to pretend you’re still dating but you can’t tell her you wanna get back together?”
“It’s not that easy!”
“Yes it is!” San argues. “You love her right? You care about her?” San doesn’t continue until Wooyoung nods. “Then she has a right to know.”
“What if she says no?”
“Then she says no. Cross that bridge when you get there. You’re already broken up, how much worse can it get?”
Surprisingly, Wooyoung agrees. He sits forward, looking at his roommates before asking.“So what do I do?”
December 31st
Wooyoung
When Wooyoung’s messages go unanswered and his calls fall into the abyss of Y/N’s full voicemail box, pulls out Plan B.
Unfortunately, Plan B has no moral or ethical oppositions to castrating him.
“Go fuck yourself!”
“Lisa, please!” Wooyoung begs into the phone.
“No! Not once but twice I’ve had Y/N crying on my couch because of your dumbass. I’m not letting it happen again!”
“I need to talk to her. Please just help me!”
“What makes this time so different?”
“I—,” Wooyoung freezes. What does make this time different?
He hears Lisa sigh on the other end of the phone, almost as if she’s disappointed. “Just leave her alone, Wooyoung.”
And the line clicks dead.
Walking back into the kitchen from the worst call of his life, Wooyoung spots San’s downcast face while Yeosang watches him from the table; both clearly overhearing his exchange with Y/N’s best friend.
The vinyl table top shakes as Wooyoung drops his forehead down with a bang, groaning in frustration. 
“She’s working at NewYork-Presbyterian.” Yeosang mentions, returning to munch on his bowl of cereal.
“What?”
“Y/N works at NewYork-Presbyterian.”
“How do you know that?”
Shrugging, Yeosang takes another bite and swallows before explaining. “She told me she got a job there when she was planning to move back.” 
Wooyoung has Yeosang’s shirt in his hands in a flash, nose to nose with his lifelong friend. Never in his life has Wooyoung been so furious with the man before him.
“You knew this whole time?” He bites, his eyes so wide with anger the whites show.
San is at Wooyoung's back, winding his arms around his shoulders in an attempt to pull him off their other roommate.
“You knew all of this and you didn’t fucking tell me? You’re my friend!” Attempting to shake him off, Wooyoung keeps pressing forward. 
Yeosang rises to his feet, hands wrapping around Wooyoung’s wrists and squeezing till the pain forces him to let go. “Yeah, and you’re acting like a real asshole right now!”
“Guys calm down!” San yells, managing to pull Wooyoung back now that he’s no longer attached to Yeosang’s shirt.
“Why didn't you say something?”
“You ended an eight year relationship out of the blue, I wasn’t about to let you get back with her just because you decided being single wasn’t your thing anymore.”
The words slap Wooyoung in the face. Even his own friend’s don’t trust him not to hurt Y/N anymore. “I’m not— I wouldn’t,”
“Come on, Woo. All you could talk about was how excited you were to ask her to marry you and then you come home and tell us you broke up with her. She’s my friend too and I don’t want to see her hurt.”
“So why are you telling me now?”
“Because you were desperate enough to call Lisa. If you fuck up again she’ll actually kill you.”
Wooyoung isn’t going to mess up again, not if he can help it. And if he does, he’ll walk straight into the river before Lisa can force him.
But for now, he focuses on getting Y/N to listen to his apology.
January 1st
Y/N
Chief complaint: Father reports patient’s fever and cough have become more severe since previous visit. Reports child is refusing solids but drinking well and taking soft foods such as apple sauce. Sleeping okay.
One of the residents pops her head into your office, “Dr. Y/L/N you have a delivery at the reception desk.”
“Thank you!” You call, not missing a beat as you continue your notes. 
Impression: Upper respiratory infection, right otitis media
Plan: Amoxicillin prescribed, five day follow up with p.r.n. at PCP.
Finishing your chart, you rise and head out towards the receptionist desk. A familiar bouquet of blush pink tulips greet you, a silk white ribbon knotted around the dip of the crystal vase. A small envelope is tucked into the spread, sending a terrified jolt through your system.
“I wish I had someone send me flowers as pretty as this!” Jessica sighs, eying the arrangement enviously.
“Yeah,” you laugh, unable to muster an ounce of false humor.
You snatch the bouquet before turning back the direction you came. 
Once back into the safety of your office, door shut and blinds drawn, you open the note.
If you don’t want to see me ever again, I’ll let you go. But I can't say enough how every time I ever put my arms around you I felt that I was home. I’ll be waiting at our spot on Saturday. As long as it takes.
–W
You don’t realize you’re crying until the ink of the note begins to bleed. 
January 3rd
Wooyoung
Wooyoung is the first customer to enter the cozy coffee shop overlooking the southeast entrance of Tompkins Square Park at nine a.m., claiming the tiny wobbly table off in the corner that provides the perfect view of the door. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands. It feels wrong to scroll through his phone as he waits so he snags one of the artsy newspapers sitting on the counter while the surly barista prepares his order.
After an hour, adrenalin maintains the pleasant buzz through Wooyoung’s system, fueled further by espresso on an empty stomach. Each chime of the bell over the door results in awkward eye contact with a stranger that certainly isn’t his ex-girlfriend.
After three hours, his butt is numb and Wooyoung’s abandoned the newspaper he’s memorized. The NYT mini crossword archive isn’t as extensive as he thought.
After six hours, he’s had enough coffee to power a jet plane and his leg jitters aggressively. He’s started people watching through the window, making up stories for passersby entering the park and crossing the street. Half his heart hopes they’re happier than he is, the other half hopes he’s not alone in his misery.
When he’s been at the shop for eleven and a half hours, burned through every source of distraction possible and can describe in vivid detail the features outside the glass wall that separate the inside of the cafe from the sidewalk, Wooyoung accepts that she isn’t coming.
He stays till close, every minute that ticks on a drop in the bucket of regret in his heart. The barista starts stacking chairs, passive aggressively swiping the frayed broom in a ring around his table, so Wooyoung does the sensible thing and waits outside. 
The bitter wind wafting through the city finds home in his bones despite his thermals and padded parka. Wooyoung desperately clings to the tiny drop of hope still clinging to his heart. Shaking from the chill and overindulgence in caffeine Wooyoung watches as the clock hits nine. 
She isn’t coming.
She doesn’t want him back.
Wooyoung watches a couple laugh in each other's embrace across the street, clambering over one another in amused content. There was time that would have been him and Y/N, high from the intoxicating joy of one another’s presence and the city lights in the winter. Fingers interlocked as they trapeze through crowds, ignoring every other soul in favor of focusing on each other.
Eyes stinging, he turns to head for the train station but nearly shouts as spots the woman in question ten paces away.
Her hair is a mess, nose and cheeks blushing from the cold, breath obscuring her face as it fogs in the cool air. But she’s here, looking every bit unsure as he feels.
“Hi.” He says, dumbfounded.
“Hi.”
“You came.”
“I did.”
Wooyoung might faint. His heart is beating a mile a minute, breath shallow and labored. She’s here. She’s here and she’s looking at him like that. And the fear creeps into his pause.
“I’m sorry.” He warbles.
“I know.”
But she can’t so he says it again.
“I’m so sorry.”
“You keep saying that.”
Because he can’t think of anything else. Nine hours of going over the grand speech about how he missed her and how breaking up with her was the greatest regret of his life flies out the window now that she’s in front of him and willing to listen.
“Is that all you wanted to tell me?”
“No.”
“Then talk to me, Woo.”
The only thing she’s ever asked him for is the truth. Wooyoung’s been so afraid that if he tells her how he truly feels, she’ll think less of him. That being so in love it terrifies you is disgusting, pathetic. 
“I don’t know where to start.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Since they opened.”
“Why?”
“Because if you came I didn’t want to miss you.”
“I almost didn’t.”
“Why did you?”
“Because—,” she pauses, shaking her head. “I don’t know.”
“I had a whole speech prepared.”
“Really?” She smiles apprehensively.
“Yeah, but now that you’re here I don’t remember any of it.”
“Then just tell me the truth, Woo.”
“I’m an idiot.”
Laughing at his outburst, she nods at him. “That’s a start.” 
And the space between them grows a little warmer.
“That night at dinner, when I went to the bathroom, I got an email.” Wooyoung starts, stepping closer. “I’d applied for a grad school program and I thought I was gonna get in but … I didn’t. And I think that and the nerves from proposing just caught up to me. I thought you’d want to stay in Boston after all and I didn’t want you to feel like you had to move back here. And it snowballed and all those feelings of not being good enough came back and— When you didn’t say anything, didn’t ask why or try to argue with me I thought it meant it’s what you wanted too.”
Shame flushes through him, a tsunami of disgust for allowing himself to think so poorly of her. Y/N never made him feel less than. The only person in their relationship who thought he wasn’t good enough for her was him and he let that destroy everything in a second of self doubt. 
“I tried to convince myself I did you a favor. That you’d be better off without me and you’d meet someone better. Find someone good enough for you. But I was wrong. I am wrong. There hasn't been a single day since we met that I don’t think about you. Even when I try not to, you’re always in the back of my mind. And then I think about how selfish I am for wanting you back. But when it comes to you I’ve always been a little selfish because I love you. And—” he breaths for the first time. “And I don’t know how to be me without you.”
The humor is gone from Y/N’s face. Her beautiful eyes brim with tears, rimmed red not unlike his own; chin shaking. The wind is louder than ever now, cars wheel sloshing across the wet pavement crashing between them.
“Please say something.”
“How do I trust you again?” Her voice cracks, and it knocks the air from Wooyoung’s lungs.
“I don’t know.” Wooyoung looks at the ground, guilt-ridden.
Everything, all of the pain and heartbreak, was his fault. He dug them into this mess and now he doesn’t know how to get them out.
Y/N
Seeing Wooyoung, the man with an answer for everything, admit for once he doesn’t have an elaborate plan in motion to win you back is refreshing. You didn’t want Wooyoung who’d fix everything, Wooyoung who’d carry the burden of your relationship by himself even if it killed him. All you wanted was for him to tell you the truth.
And now that he has, you’re done being apart.
Nearly topping to the ground as you tackle Wooyoung in a fierce hug, you focus on inhaling his cologne and basking in the feel of his body pressed firmly against you. He barely manages to steady your combined weight, feet scrambling to regain his balance on the icy sidewalk.
“Don’t you ever do that shit to me again!” You yell, arms squeezing around his waist.
Wooyoung hesitates for a moment, clearly shocked at the turn of events. Rising out of his chest, you look at his gaping mouth and furrowed brows before his arms knot around your shoulders. 
“I missed you.” You whisper into the delicate kiss you land on his lips.
“I love you.” Wooyoung whispers back, forehead resting against your own.
“Forever?”
“Forever.”
Four months later
Central Park in May is a bustle of people enjoying warm days following months of slushy snow and gray skies. Shrill screams bounce off the trees as children dart across the walkways, giggling groups of friends crowd around blankets on the greening grass, and a menagerie of dogs zigzag around their owners in the fresh air.
Today is a rare day where they both can spend interrupted hours lounging in one another’s presence, eager to make up for years of long distances and the months neither likes to talk about. Wooyoung woke Y/N with innumerable kisses across any sliver of skin his lips could find, basking in the knowledge today he’d finally ask the question hanging from the tip of his tongue since this time last year.
Sprawled across an old throw blanket, skin warming in the afternoon sunshine, a thick book obscures her face from view as Y/N rests her head in his lap. Wooyoung tries not to check his pocket for the millionth time this afternoon, ensuring the little velvet box is still there. He isn’t worried she’ll say no. But the phantom fear from the last time he planned to ask creeps up no matter how many affirmations he silently repeats in his head. But when she looks up at him, crinkled eyes visible just above the edge of the book pages hiding her smile, Wooyoung forgets all his worries.
Plucking the book from her grasp, he carefully marks her place before setting it down beside her hip. Wooyoung folds in half to silence her protesting “hey!” with a kiss, humming when she gives in all too easily. 
“I was reading that.” She mumbles as they separate.
“Wow, you’d rather read some smutty book than kiss your real life boyfriend?”
Laughing, she presses another peck to his mouth before answering.“Glad you understand.”
“What about your fiance?”
Y/N smile melts into shock, mouth gaping and staring at him like a deer in headlights.
Wooyoung smoothly maneuvers her up and out of his lap, pulling the jewelry box from his pocket as he kneels on a lone knee.
“Y/N. You’re my favorite person in the world. The only person I can ever imagine spending the rest of my life with. I love when you sing in the shower, and how you put way too much sugar in your coffee. I love how smart you are, and how you’re nice to everyone even if they don’t deserve it,  me included. And how everytime I look at you my palms get sweaty and that just thinking about you makes my day better. You are the love of my life. Will you marry me?”
Wooyoung is shaking so violently he fumbles the velvet box twice during his speech. He drops it a third time when Y/N tackles him in a fierce hug, tear filled laughter spilling from their lips and into the field where they lay. 
“Yes!” She squeals into his neck, “Yes, I’d love to marry you.”
At dinner with all their friends, he subconsciously holds Y/N’s hand so the diamond glints at anyone looking. When Wooyoung walks home, giggly from champagne and love, he kisses her knuckles a ridiculous amount of times just to feel the cool band under his lips. Once inside the doorway of her apartment, Wooyoung crowds Y/N against the door; his thumb focusing on the bevel of the diamond sitting on her ring finger as his other hand pushes the strap of her sundress off her shoulder so his tongue etch her collarbone from dip of her throat where the locket he gave her for their first Christmas together rests to under her ear. 
“So, future Mrs. Jung, now that we’re alone, how would you like to celebrate?” He asks, nipping against the sensitive skin she sighs, chest arching into his own.
“What if I wanna keep my last name?”
“Is that what you’re focusing on right now?” Wooyoung asks, a strong thigh moving between her parted legs.
“Yeah, future Mr.Y/L/N. I don’t think there’s anything else to discuss right n—fuck, Youngie.”
Wooyoun can’t help but giggle at her reaction, rocking again just to hear her moan his name once more. 
“What were you saying?”
“Don’t,” she huffs, whimpering at another torturous drag. Wooyoung can feel the heat of her cunt through her panties and his jeans. “Don’t be mean to your future wife.”
“Love when you talk dirty.” He bites, teeth raking against the strained muscle raising from the side of her neck.
“That turns you on? Calling me your wife?”
“Feel for yourself.”
“And if I call you my husband?”
Wooyoung doesn’t dignify her question with an answer other than sprinting to the bedroom to demonstrate just how much he likes the new name.
© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.
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zepskies · 4 months
Text
Smoke Eater - Epilogue
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Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x F. Reader 
Summary: Dean Winchester is the cocky, but well-respected Lieutenant at Firehouse 25. He leads by example, but he’s also known to break a few hearts. He’s starting to crave something he’s never had, though. Something stable. Something real. 
That’s when he meets you, on a truly terrible day, trapped in a rickety old elevator.
🔥 Series Masterlist
AN: We made it, friends. 🥹
Word Count: 2,800 Tags/Warnings: Fluff and feels, that is all.
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Epilogue: “Easy as Pie”
The week after the incident at Stull Storage, John, Sam, Dean, and Eileen sat down to a family dinner that you cooked in the brothers’ apartment. Aside from Eileen, all of you had injuries in one form or another (but even Sam’s shiner was healing up nicely). 
For dessert, you were a bit nervous as you brought out a freshly baked apple pie. Dean caught you mentally bracing yourself before you set it down on the table. He shot you a reassuring smile.
“Looks great,” he said.
Your returning smile was tentative as you divvied out the first piece. Dean was just a bit disappointed when you handed it to John. His eyes followed the plate.
You smiled more genuinely, and made sure the next generous piece you cut was for your boyfriend.
After everyone was served, you sat down with your own plate and encouraged them all to dig in. Forks hit the crumbly top and cinnamon apple filling, and there were collective hums of pleasure throughout the room.
You brightened and glanced over at the rest of the table. John looked contemplative. His fork rested on the plate for a moment.
He gave a rare smile. “That’s some damn good pie.” 
Sam nodded. “For sure.”
Dean looked over at you after he’d already demolished half of his serving. A smile spread across his face.
“Best slice of pie since I can remember,” he said, giving you a wink.
Both of you knew the weight of that review. It humbled you, making you blush.
You smiled and leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek, rough with stubble.
“I guess this recipe’s a keeper then,” you said.
He hummed in agreement. When he went in for a real kiss, it was sweet indeed.
From then on, you all spent the evening talking, eating, laughing, with you and Sam drinking wine and everyone else their beer. You updated them on Andréa and Benny, who were planning their trip to Greece in a few months.
"We should take a vacation," Dean pointed out, gesturing around the table. "All of us."
Sam raised his brows at his brother. "Oh yeah? Where would you wanna go?"
Dean thought about it for a moment. He glanced at you, and found you smiling.
"The beach," he said. "Somewhere warm and chill, with those fancy little umbrellas in your drink."
"Hmm...I like that," you said, as your smile grew. Tropical, relaxing, a warm sun on your face, and your boyfriend in some board shorts. You could definitely go for some of that.
"Sounds nice," Eileen agreed.
"I'll look into some destinations," Sam nodded. Dean nudged his brother's shoulder.
"One word, dude. Maui."
Sam snorted. "We can't afford Maui."
"Hey, you never know, man! Time to check out some Groupons."
"You can't get a Groupon to go to Hawaii," Sam said. His face was scrunched in what Dean liked to call, his "Know It All" face.
"Are you kidding me?" Dean shot back. "There's a friggin' Groupon for everything nowadays!"
Of course, that devolved into a familiar sibling argument that was only disrupted when John broke into the conversation. He admitted something shocking—that he was taking some time off work, for the first time since he took his sons camping when they were kids. Sam and Dean teased the workaholic for finally "slowing down" in his old age, but it was all in good fun.
You and Eileen shared a knowing look. It all felt as close to family as you’d had in a long time.
And for Dean, it felt like he could breathe again. He’d gotten a text shortly after dessert—from Cas.
Jo made it into the Police Academy. She starts training in a few weeks.
Dean’s lips quirked with a smile.
How do you know?
I’ll be instructing a couple of her classes. Firearm Safety and Weapons Training.
Dean nearly laughed.
Good luck, buddy. Try not to get your ass shot.
To which Cas replied:
My ass will be nowhere within range, I assure you.
Dean did chuckle at that. When you turned to him and asked what was so funny, he just shook his head and grabbed onto your hand on the table.
“Nothin’. I’m good,” he said. He pressed your knuckles to his lips. “I’m real good.”
You smiled at that.
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Later that night, Dean walked his father to the door while you and Sam were locked in a trivia game, and Eileen tried to play mediator between two very competitive nerds.  
“Dad,” Dean said.
John stopped with a hand on the door, turning back to his eldest.
Dean paused to gather his thoughts, but he eventually grasped his father’s arm and met his gaze.
“Just wanted to say thank you, for what you did for her,” he said, discreetly nodding at you. He kept his voice quiet. “You protected her when I couldn’t.”
John paused, seeming surprised. His brows furrowed as he shook his head.
“You don’t need to thank me for that, son,” he said.
“Yeah, I do,” Dean insisted. He’d heard every bit of that conversation between John and Daniel in that warehouse. His father had been willing to lay down and die for you, not a moment’s hesitation.
Cas was right, Dean had realized. His father did have a line.
John let out a breath. “What matters is we made it here.”
Dean nodded, though he dimmed.
“Yeah, came with one hell of a price tag.”
It still weighed heavily on him, what he’d had to do to end Daniel Savage. In the end, John had lied on his statement of the events. He’d taken responsibility for grabbing Daniel’s gun and shooting him between the eyes.
“It’s the only thing I can do to keep you out of this,” John had told his son. “Should’ve been my hand anyway.”
Dean appreciated what his dad had done to protect him from the law, and his career, but it still made him feel dirty. A strike to his integrity as a first responder, and as a man. That was something he’d just have to deal with, along with everything else.
John distracted him, however, by gripping his shoulder this time.
“You saved my life, Dean,” he said. And with a hint of a smile, “It’s what you’re good at.”
Dean met his dad’s gaze. He wasn’t quite able to smile back, but there was new warmth in his chest.
“Oh,” said John, raising a finger. “Before I forget…”
He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a silver engagement ring with a small stone. To Dean, it looked familiar…
When it finally struck him what this was, he looked up at John in surprise. Dean glanced back to make sure you weren’t looking before he tentatively took the ring.
“Is this…Mom’s?” he asked.
John nodded. “The stone’s nothing special. You might wanna get it reset. Sam already figured out his uh…situation on his own. Maybe you want to find your own too.”
Dean knew what he meant. Sam had bought a ring last year, but he'd proposed to Eileen just a few days ago. They were already planning to get married a year from now, along with buying their first house together.
Dean examined the ring he held with a softer smile.
“Nah, it’s perfect,” he said.
He didn’t know yet if you two were ready for that step. A lot had happened in such a short amount of time…but he knew he wasn’t going anywhere.
He had time to do things right with you.
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A few months later, Dean’s medical leave ended. He was physician-approved for duty, psych evaluation and all. He showed up for his shift bright and early.
He entered the doors of Firehouse 25 to a host of his friends and makeshift family cheering, complete with cheesy streamers and an even cheesier cake that Meg held. On the top was scrawled: Good Job Cracking Your Head.
“A smoke eater returns to the house!” Benny remarked with a grin. “Good to see ya, brother.”
He clapped Dean heavily enough on the back that it earned a grunt and a laugh out of him.
“You too, man,” Dean replied.
Meg set down the cake on the table and was the next one to playfully punch him in the shoulder.
“You have a nice little vacation?” she teased.
Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah, complete with bottomless margaritas and little umbrellas.”
She smirked, but she was still earnest when she touched his arm.
“Welcome back.”
Dean chuckled. “Ooh, now I know you missed me.”
It was her turn to roll her eyes as she waved a dismissive hand at him. Chuck and Jack gave more sincere well wishes, with the latter actually hugging Dean. He’d tolerated it with a smile.
Gordon clapped him on the shoulder once Jack was finally done, and Dean sent the Candidate off with a bright smile on his face.
Gordon smiled. “Welcome back, Lieutenant.”
Dean nodded and shook the other man’s hand. “Thanks for holdin’ down the fort, man.”
“No problem,” Gordon said. “Any time you wanna go on sabbatical, you just let me know. Acting Lieutenant’s almost better than the real deal. It’s not as much paperwork.”
Dean chuckled, but before he could sling back a retort, the alarm went off. There was a working house fire downtown, according to the dispatcher in the overhead speaker.
Bobby appeared in the hall and clapped his hands once.
“All right, gear up. We’re startin’ off the day right,” he said. He gave Dean a look that was somehow both pleased to see him and stern at the same time. Bobby addressed him with a point of his finger.
“See me in my office before the end of shift,” he said. “We’ve got somethin’ to talk about.”
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A few days later, Dean had the rare pleasure of welcoming you home from work on his day off. You trudged into the apartment with several bags and rolling a cooler behind you. He got up from the couch and grabbed some of the bags for you on your way to the kitchen.
“How did it go?” he asked, reaching out a hand to rub some flour off your cheek. You smiled brightly.
“Well, there was a little snafu with the mini quiche, but they loved the menu I proposed. They want me to cater the whole wedding!” you said.
“Whoa, that’s a lotta food,” Dean remarked. Once you’d dumped the rest of your stuff on the kitchen table, he slid an arm around your waist and brought you flush against him, earning a squeal from you.
You clung to his shoulders. “You still on for being my official taste tester?”
He stared at you with mock offense.
“Uh, obviously. Mini quiche are my weakness,” he teased. “Just another form of pie, far as I’m concerned.”
You giggled into his lips as he claimed you for a kiss. It was both sweet, and a bit naughty as his hands moved to squeeze your ass. His words were no less heartfelt.
“I’m proud of you, sweetheart,” Dean said. “I really am.”
 You smiled and stroked his cheek in answer.
The Monday morning after that family dinner a few months ago, you’d quit your job at Savage & Co. After a month of wracking your brain and your savings, you decided to start your own catering business.
It was your way of starting small, to try and get people in this town to know you for your food and baked goods. And maybe, if you were successful enough, you’d be able to open up your own bakery in a couple of years.
For once, you were going after what you truly wanted…but now, your career was only part of it.
You hadn’t forgotten your conversation with Dean about what he wanted for his future: of getting married someday, and having a family. Something he could build for himself. 
Not only did you want that for him, but you’d begun to crave that for yourself as well: a family of your own.
Realistically, you knew that part was years away for you and Dean. However, you had that in the back of your mind. Having your own business had always been your dream, but sometimes your dream could adjust. 
Or, it could become something new.
You’d also sold your grandparents’ house. You had contemplated going back, but you didn’t want to be reminded of how the police and the Arson Department had torn it apart after Daniel Savage threatened your life. You didn’t want to be reminded of where both of your grandparents died.
You loved that house, but you also knew it was time to let it go…
Because you finally understood what your grandfather had tried to tell you months ago.
A house did not make a home. And now, you’d managed to make a new one.
For his part, Dean had been happy to have you stay in his apartment. Sam was getting ready to move out in a few months anyway, as he and Eileen were deep into house hunting and planning their wedding.
“So…I’ve gotta tell you something,” said Dean, after he parted from your lips for a moment, and allowed you to breathe. His tone made you tilt your head in suspicion.
“It’s nothing bad,” he said, though he looked a bit nervous.
Your brows furrowed. You led him to the couch, where he held your hands in his. It took him a moment to get started. He seemed stuck on what he wanted to say, or maybe just how he wanted to say it.
“Whatever it is, I’m sure I can handle it,” you teased.
Dean gave you a smile. His shoulders relaxed a little.
“They want to promote me to Captain,” he said.
Your mouth fell open and your eyes went wide.
“They? Who’s they?” you asked.
Dean blew out a breath and scratched at the small scar on the side of his head.
“Apparently it came from the Battalion Chief.”
He explained that the Fire Department had gotten the full debrief from both Sam and John about Dean’s involvement in ending the serial arsons and murders committed by Nick and Daniel Savage. Without you and Dean, they wouldn’t have figured out Azazel’s identity, let alone stopped his criminal enterprise.
You smiled wide with excitement as you held Dean’s face in your hands.
“That’s amazing!” you said. You pulled him in for a hug. Though he held you back, you soon realized that you were happier than he seemed to be. You pulled back and carded your fingers through his hair, earning his gaze.
“What’s wrong, baby? This is great news!”
Dean’s lips pursed. “I don’t know. I broke ranks and defied a direct order at the Savage & Co. fire. And at the warehouse, I was even more reckless. I don’t want to be promoted for disobeying orders.”
You frowned at that, even as you continued to stroke through his hair.
“What did Bobby tell you?” you asked.
Once again, Dean sighed. He’d been called into Bobby’s office a few days ago, after his first shift back at 25.
He’d surprised the hell out of Dean.
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“Did you break ranks that day, and put not just yourself, but Benny and the rest of your men in danger?” Bobby said. “You bet your ass.”
Dean averted his gaze. He stood with his hands drawn behind his back, willing to take whatever punishment the Chief saw fit.
“But,” Bobby continued. His fingers tapped on his desk, where he sat on the edge across from Dean. “It wasn’t fair of me to stop you from lookin’ for your girlfriend.”
Dean’s attention sharpened at that, and he frowned in confusion. Bobby didn’t apologize. Ever.
“Sir?” Dean asked uncertainly.
Bobby softened the slightest bit. He heaved a sigh.
The man was a widower, but he still wore his wedding ring. He toyed with it now on his finger.
“We could’ve radioed in with the other teams already at work. I could’ve paired half of your team with the top floor units. But in the heat of the moment, I made a judgment call,” Bobby said, leveling Dean with a look. “As a leader, you’ll continue makin’ mistakes. You’ll make the wrong call. It’s how you learn to keep leading that matters. And there ain’t a person in this house that wouldn’t have gone up to pull your fool head outta that fire.”
Dean stayed quiet in his discomfort. He still wasn’t entirely sure why Bobby was telling him all of this.
“That being said, this is coming from the top,” Bobby said. His gruffness was back. He took a folder off his desk and handed it to Dean. “Here’s the next step, if you choose to accept it.”
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You were crying by the end of his story. Dean cupped your cheek and caught your tears with his thumb. You grabbed that hand and gently squeezed.
“He believes in you, Dean,” you said. “So do I. And it’s my turn to be so damn proud of you.”
Dean graced you with a smile for that one. Yours brightened. You moved off the couch and slid into his lap, twining your arms around his neck. Dean welcomed you with an arm around your waist and a hand sliding up your jean-clad thigh.
“Guess I’m gonna have to get used to calling you Captain,” you said with a smirk.
Captain Winchester, Dean considered, rolling the weight of it around in his mind.
He chuckled. “Okay, maybe I'm liking the sound of that.”
“Mhmm, that’s what I thought,” you said, shortly before you pressed your lips to his. He squeezed your hip while your deft fingers once again slipped into his hair. With each new kiss, Dean felt more of his uncertainty melt away.
A new thought occurred to him then. It made him start to grin against your lips, and you parted from him.
“What?” you asked in amusement.
Dean slipped a hand into his pocket, where he felt the outline of his mother’s newly resized ring.
“Hey,” he said. Your brows drew together in suspicion at the gleam in his eye. 
“Hey, yourself,” you quipped. 
Dean breathed in deep, steeling himself. He looked into your eyes, and he smiled. 
“I’ve got a question for you.”
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AN: ...And I think we all know what her answer was. ❤️‍🔥
I can't believe it! I started posting this story on September 15, the beginning of Hispanic Heritage Month. Almost four months later, we finally made it to the end of Smoke Eater. 🥹
Thank you to all of you who've been following along at any point of the journey. Your comments and feedback have truly touched me, and have helped keep me going! 💕
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Dean Winchester Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Series Tag List (Part 1):
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416 notes · View notes
lovelytsunoda · 6 months
Text
954 // logan sargeant
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summary: florida man fucks shy college girl. or, back home in fort lauderdale y/n’s welcome home party is sabotaged by her race winner brother, and it gives her a bit of a complex. at least her brothers best friend is there to make her feel better about it.
pairing: logan sargeant x female kirkwood! reader
warnings: straight up smut, kyle kirkwood is a lot to handle in large doses (but we love him anyways), feelings of anxiety, minor sibling rivalry, body image issues. i am going to hell, littered with spelling mistakes because of how fast I was typing and pure laziness to go back and fix it
author's note: 954 is the area code for fort lauderdale. and technically kyle kirkwood lives in jupiter, but for the sake of the story let's pretend he's also from lauderdale.
she sat at the edge of the pier, jeans rolled up past her shins as she started off into the horizon, watching the sun dip below the ocean line.
“it’s your party, what are you doing out here alone?”
she rolled her eyes, pulling her feet out of the water before following the voice. “why do you think? kyle hijacked it. I’m back home for less than a day and he’s already stealing the spotlight again.”
that was the way it always went in the kirkwood household: y/n came home from school, and everything was great, and then kyle waltzes in and suddenly everything is about him again.
logan shook his head, settling onto the pier next to her, a gentle hand resting on her thigh. she shrugged it off, anxiously twisting one of the rings on her hand.
“you know he doesn’t do it on purpose, right?” logan soothed “he loves you, and he hates that you feel like this.”
“i know. the inferiority complex is all me.”
“it’s not a complex, and your feelings are valid.”
she shook her head. “everyone tells me i shouldn’t have quit karting. even when it made me hate myself.”
she sighed, laying down on the pier, worn wood scratching at her skin, but not splintering against her baby pink tank top. “what am I doing with my life, logan?”
“hey, look at me.” logan encouraged, fingertips against her chin to angle her face towards him. “you are doing great things. deans list every semester, you’re a great artist and I’d be shocked if firms weren’t lining up to hire you as a litigator.”
“you’re just saying that.” she refused to meet his eyes. logan was kyles best friend, for god sakes. she’d crumble under his stare, his touch.
“but I’m not.” logan insisted, gripping her face now, making her look at him. she needed to know how wonderful she was, and he was going to be the one to tel her. “you are smart and funny and all kinds of wonderful, kirkwood. any guy would be lucky to have you, and anyone else should consider themselves blessed to have you as a friend.”
“you really mean that?”
“why would I lie to you, y/n?”
she barely had time to respond before logans lips were on hers. she was hesitant at first, unsure if logan really knew what he was doing. unsure if he was really kissing her because he wanted to or because he pitied her.
the intrusive thoughts didn’t stay long, however, as she snapped to attention and moved her lips against his, wrapping her body around his.
“jesus.” logan breathed. “those jeans make your ass look incredible. well, your ass always looks incredible, but these jeans are really doing it for me.”
she laughed at how red logan's face was, a shade that looked more salmon under the sunset. the pier was digging into her skin, and she was starting to get uncomfortable, logan's lips along her neck not quite enough to distract from the discomfort of what she was sure would become a splinter if their activities were not relocated.
somehow they made it to her bedroom without being discovered by the partygoers, much less kyle. the fairy lights tacked to her dusty pink walls were the only light in the room as logan backed her up against her bookshelf, securely caging her body against his.
she felt safe in logan's arms. protected.
"i've been crazy about you for years now." logan growled in between kisses. "every night i came over to watch panthers games with your brother, and you were there in those tight little jean shorts, laughing and giggling with your friends. or when i'd stay the night and you'd walk past his bedroom door to get to the bathroom in the middle of the night, your skimpy silk top falling down your shoulder just enough to give me a taste of your gorgeous body. do you know how many times i've jerked off to the thought of you in kyle's bathroom? you're stunning, y/n. don't let anybody tell you otherwise."
her mind was reeling, and she couldn't find the proper words as she tugged at the collar of logan's button down shirt, pressing her lips back to his. logan sargeant was interested in her.
logan saw her for her, not just as kyle kirkwood's baby sister.
clothes were shed, buttons ripped off shirts. her head was spinning, elated and giddy and she couldn't find the words to tell logan how incredible she felt as his large hands squeezed her breasts over the mesh padding of her bralette.
she gasped, logan taking that chance to slip his tongue into her mouth, his fingers grappling for the clasp on her bra.
all at once, reality came crashing back down on her. she pulled away, hands flying up to cover her exposed breasts as the pale fabric tumbled to the hardwood floor.
she wouldn't meet logan's eyes, scared to know what he thought of her naked body. scared to see him stare at her and not know what he was thinking.
his eyes softened, the lust drawing back as concern seeped in to his irises. "y/n, pretty girl, you don't need to hide yourself around me. who made you think that you weren't sexy as all hell? i never want you feel like you have to be shy around me."
he gently gripped her arms, guiding her towards the wall length mirror hanging on the back of the ensuite door. logan stood behind her, lifting her chin so that she would meet his eyes in the mirror. placing his hands over hers, he gently pulled her palms off her breasts, exposing her bare torso to the soft lighting in the room.
"look at you beautiful you are, y/n. i'm serious."
"you're just saying that so you can get your dick wet." even as she said it, she knew it didn't sound like she meant it.
but even still, staring at herself in the mirror, all she could focus on was the way that she looked: the stretch marks on her breasts, the smattering of freckles up her arms (or were they moles, like the two on her back?).
"what will it take to show you how sexy you are, y/n?" logan rasped, undoing the button on her jeans. "should i make you watch yourself as i touch you?"
"yeah." her voice was shaky. "i think you should show me how sexy i am. clearly, i need reminding." where was this sudden boldness coming from?
"that;s my sexy, shy girl." logan cooed, tugging her jeans down her legs, kissing over her ass and down her leg before coming back up, eyes hungry at the sight of the young woman in front of him, panties hiked high on her hips and fairly see through as he slipped a hand over teh fabric and between her legs, teasing at the dampness beginning to form.
she gasped as logan slicked up his fingers, slipping them inside of her in one swift movement, working around the fabric of her cheeky panties. she was breathing hard, biting her bottom lip as she took in the sight in the mirror: logan's fingers flexing in and out of her, arousal running over his pale skin, his face contorted in concentration as he growled down her ear, telling her how tight she felt, and how good she was for him.
her own skin was rosy and flushed, a sheen of sweat beginning ro form as she felt her body heating up. there was something sinful about watching herself in the mirror, finally allowing herself to let loose a moan.
"that's my girl. don't get shy on me now, i want to know that you feel as good as i do." logan groaned, sucking on her neck. "touch me, baby. i know you want to. feel how fucking hard i am for you."
she loosened her grip on logan's wrist, internally grinning at the nail marks that she left behind in his skin before slipping an arm behind her, cupping his bulge in her hand.
she was floored. she knew logan was big (she could always see the outline in his swim shorts, forcing herself to stop staring before he noticed) but knowing that she had this effect on him?
it was a powerful thing.
"jesus, logan." she whined. "i need it inside of me."
logan's eyes sparkled. "what do you need inside of you, sweetheart? i need you to say it for me." he started pumping his fingers faster, his other hand moving to fondle her left breast, tweaking the rosy bud of her nipple between his fingers.
she sighed heavily, feeling her legs turn mushy as she leaned back against logan. "need your cock." she mumbled, unsure if she could speak any louder.
"what was that, darling? don't be shy now, i can't give you what you need if you don't tell me, love."
fuck you, she thought, biting her lip hard enough to draw blood. she was clenching around his fingers now, unsure of hoe much longer she'd be able to last. but she needed him inside of her, felt like she might die if he wasn't.
"your cock!" she shouted. "please, logan, i need your big cock inside me, please, god, i need it."
why did she say that? she should never have said that. it made her sound desperate. but in a way, she was desperate, wasn't she?
logans fingers stopped their ministrations, pulling out of her and taking a trail of her juices with them. she thought her eyes were going to roll back in her head before logan laid her down on her queen bed, her hair fanning out behind her as he started to undo his jeans, resort shirt still hanging off his frame, face flushed and covered in a sheen of sweat as he licked her arousal off his fingers.
"do you have condoms, kirkwood? because i really don't want to have to go digging for them in kyle's room."
"please don't talk about my brother when i want you to fuck my brains out."
logan smirked. "not so shy now, are we, my sexy girl."
"shut up! go the ensuite, top vanity drawer on the left. you literally cannot miss the box."
she could have laughed, lying back on the bed and kicking off her panties as logan ran, half naked and dropping his resort shirt behind him, to the ensuite.
he stumbled back, tripping over discarded clothes and the fluffy carpet, triumphantly holding the box above his head.
"the whole box? how much do you think you're getting tonight, sarge?"
logan raised an eyebrow. "call me that, and i'm going to make you forget how shy you are and have you scream my name all night long."
949 notes · View notes
updownlately · 5 months
Text
but i’m scared (of what life without you’s like)
| leah williamson x reader | angst with a dash of hurt/comfort | 1.9k | a/n: got this req in today based of this fic from yesterday. was listening to 'how do i say goodbye' by dean lewis, and well, the stars aligned themselves. i tried to make this short but angsty so someone lmk if i was successful! anyways, happy reading 🫶 read part i. here
~~~
It’s a warm May day yet your blood runs cold.
You know football’s a physical sport, having been on the receiving end of brutal physicality many times.
Pushes, shoves, stud-up tackles, you’ve had your fair share of bruises to show for multiple ninety minutes of running around chasing a little sphere. 
Accidents happen, and you were very well aware. 
But accidents weren’t supposed to be like this.
Accidents weren’t supposed to be accidents.
Accidents weren’t supposed to involve stretchers immediately rushing to the field. 
Nor a silent crowd in a fully sold-out stadium. 
Swallowing hard, you helplessly felt your adrenaline kick in, body subconsciously sprinting faster than you’d ever ran before. 
Maybe you should’ve checked up on Leah after the blonde had taken the corner to the face. Maybe you should’ve been overbearing. Or looked into her eyes, so that you could’ve noticed the dazed look. 
You could’ve stuck around a second longer instead of running back on defence. 
You could have, you could have, you could have…but now you couldn’t.
There’s something about seeing an unmoving lump of limbs on the floor, especially of a loved one, chest tightening ever so cruelly, so painfully.
As you come to an abrupt stop beside Leah, you do your best to stay out of the medics' way. 
Your hands shake, eyes wide at the blood streaming down the side of her face, the gash above her eye nothing but a waterfall of red. 
You don’t realize it when the other girls reach you. 
You don’t feel it as Alessia gently wraps her arms around your waist, trying to gently usher you away.
You don’t move an inch though. You can’t. 
Your feet are rooted to the spot, eyes fixating on the way Leah’s chest isn’t moving up and down. 
She was supposed to be breathing heavily. She had to be. 
Sure she had insane fitness, but none of you on the team were yet at the point where seventy minutes of football didn’t feel tiresome- she surely wasn’t. 
So why wasn’t her chest moving up and down? Why wasn’t it in the steady rhythm that you loved to listen to when you’d cuddle up to her on late nights after a tiresome day. 
Why wasn’t her cheeky smile on her face? The consistent response of her ‘I’m fine’ she would mumble to you each and every time she took a hit or a particularly hard tackle. 
Why was she not up yet? 
It’s sometime between Lia stepping between you and your view of your girlfriend do you find your voice, panic and realization clear as you call for Leah. 
Once. 
Twice.
Then another time.
Yet no response.
You feel your own breathing pick up, blood rushing through your ears.
No.
No. No. No. No. NO. 
You don’t realize you’ve screamed the words out loud, teammates and opposing players alike sharing grim looks of sympathy as many of them turned away from the sight of the medics.
Doing your best to claw your way out of the striker's tight grasp, you fight Alessia, feet digging into the grass as you try to gain the momentum to be near the English skipper.
Each try though, left you more defeated, the blonde’s grip strong as the ground between you and Leah somehow only increased with each attempt. 
This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. 
The words rattle in your brain as you see a stretcher in your vision, sounds of sirens ringing faintly, so far away yet so close. 
Begging Alessia to let you go, you put all your effort into breaking her hold on you, your hands trying to unlock her linked ones, the striker only pulling you back into her chest in retaliation, gentle murmurs being whispered into your ears.
Tears streaming down your face, heart in your stomach, throat sore from all your screaming, you watch in horror as the sea of medics slowly fade from your view, Leah’s cleats oddly the only thing left on the pitch- no trace of blood, of cleat marks, of the weight of the medical bag- the blonde gone without a trace.
Falling to your knees as Alessia finally let go of you, you curled into yourself, sobs wracking your body as your forehead hit the ground, your hands coming to cover your ears as you tried to block out the shrill noise of the ambulances. 
This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. 
~~~
It’s the same words ringing in your head that has you jolting awake, you taking a deep inhale when you realize where you are, the familiar walls of your shared bedroom with Leah bringing you immediate comfort that has you slumping back into your pillow.
Feeling wetness on the fabric as you laid down, you realized you’d been crying in your sleep, your cheeks damp, forehead and body covered in a layer of swear as your shirt clung to you. 
Fear kicking in as you realized why you were awake at this ungodly hour, you whipped your head to the side, eyes adjusting to the darkness just enough for you to make out your girlfriend’s sprawled out form beside you.
Swallowing hard, the images from earlier haunting your mind, you held your breath as you tried to listen for Leah’s quiet breathing, unable to see her chest rising from the bundle of blankets she was buried beneath. 
She was awake, right?
Raising a shaking hand, you contemplated whether you should touch the blonde to soothe your worries. 
You didn’t want to bother Leah, well aware of just how long it took her to sleep tonight, the constant pounding in her head frustrating her more than she’d like to admit, only able to get her rest as her body slowly succumbed to the exhaustion of the day. 
Yet, with each second that passed, you got flashes of Leah lying face first in the graph, medics around her, the grass stained bright red, taunting you, teasing you as you wondered if you were imagining the breaths you were hearing. 
Heart pounding yet again, you wanted to be safe. Sorry didn’t seem like an option. 
Sorry wasn’t an option, not when it came to the love of your life.
Holding your breath, you tentatively reached out, hand shaking, moving mere millimetres every few seconds. 
You didn’t want to wake her, but you needed to feel that she was alright. 
Hand making gentle contact with the nape of the other girl’s neck, you froze as you felt her tense at your touch, muscles taut for a mere second before she relaxed into the feeling. 
Waiting a second for her to adapt to your slightly cooler touch, you softly traced the length of her spine, following the bony pattern down to the space between her shoulder blades, hand coming to a rest as your fingers splayed out, trying to maximize the contact you had with her. 
Feeling a sob of relief escape you as you felt Leah’s body move in time with her gentle breaths, you brought your other hand to cover your mouth, stifling the sound as you felt your chest wrack with the weight of the tension slowly dissipating. 
Doing your best not to move too much as your body shook, you wiped your tears with the hand covering your mouth, not yet ready to let go of your girlfriend, her mere physical presence providing you comfort you couldn’t ever express in words. 
Fabric of your sleep shirt tucked into your mouth as you held back shaky pants, you moved to lay on your side, needing to be able to see Leah before you’d feel your heart settle for the night.
You couldn’t lose her. You couldn’t afford to. Not now, and not ever.
Sunshine on your darkest days, the constant light at the end of the tunnel, the woman was your rock through thick and thin. 
She was the first person you’d ever truly trusted, and the last you ever would. 
She was cocky, over-confident, a cheeky tease, an energetic kid at heart. 
She was determined, loving, caring, attentive, respectful, thoughtful. 
She was the best thing you had and god did it terrify you that you could’ve lost her yesterday. 
A piece of your mind knew her injury wasn’t that serious, the lack of the blonde out-right fainting immediately a good sign, a comforting one really.
Yet, your heart still couldn't believe it, not yet at least. 
Letting your hand come to gently brush away the messy strands that had come to cover her face in her sleep, you let your thumb run over her eyebrow as you sighed gratefully. 
She was okay. 
She was here.
You repeated the words like a mantra in your head, trying to get your racing heard to settle.
Nodding to yourself as you tried to believe the statements, you bit the inside of your cheek as you felt Leah stir at your ministrations, your hand coming to an abrupt stop as she just barely opened an eye, taking a second to register that it was still late, nearly the middle of the night. 
Keeping your voice low as you watched her sleep-laden eyes briefly search yours, you resumed your earlier actions, hoping it would bring the blonde the same level of comfort if brought you.
“Go to sleep, yeah? I’ve got you. You’re safe….”
Feeling Leah sleepily nod at your quiet words, you felt your heart melt as she sluggishly pulled herself towards your body, a blonde mop coming to rest on your chest as she curled around your side, an arm coming to wrap around your waist as she held on tightly. 
“Love you…” 
The words were muffled, being mumbled into the cotton of the old t-shirt you’d stolen from the defender eons ago, yet you heard them clear as day.
“I love you too…so so so much…”
Your words were hoarse, but in her sleepy state Leah didn’t notice and you couldn't help but be glad.
Placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head, your lips lingering for a second, you inhaled deeply, trying to commit the easing restlessness in your body to memory, the weight of the blonde on your chest bringing you the reassurance you so desperately craved, the pair of you breathing in tandem as sleep overtook her again, content in the solace that your arms around her form brought.
You didn’t want to worry about what life would be like without the blonde, and thankfully, you didn’t have to. 
Here, with her on your chest, small breaths puffing against the arms you held her close with, you let your worries fall away, lump in your throat easing rapidly with each second. 
She was okay. 
She was okay and here in your arms.
She was okay, and so you were okay- and you couldn’t thank the universe enough for either of the two. 
And so with sleep beginning to creep up on you, you wiped the last few tears of relief away with the back of your hand, finally truly believing the words.
It would all eventually be okay- all of it- just as long as she was here with you.
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Poems
main masterlist | supernatural masterlist
summary: dean searches your room when you’re missing, and the love letters he finds break his heart
pairing: dean winchester x female reader
rating: R for language
word count: 1.9k (1.5k excluding poems) 
warnings: reader goes/is missing, language, 
author’s note: please don’t make fun of my “poetry”, i know it’s not good that’s why i don't write poems lol
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“Hey Dean, I’m working a case near Wichita so I’ll probably be back home by the end of the week. See you soon, bye.”
“That’s the last I heard from her,” Dean told his brother after playing him the message you left. “It’s been over a week, I’m gettin’ worried here!”
“Do you know what kinda case she was working?” Sam asked, Dean shook his head. “Okay, well I’m sure she’s fine, Dean. Let’s call the hospitals around where she is and ask if she’s there.”
“You do that, I’m gonna head to Wichita,” Dean replied.
“I think we should call the hospitals first, Dean. She said she was near Wichita, she could be anywhere from here to there!”
Dean sighed but agreed with Sam’s plan.
**
The boys had no luck with any of the hospitals so they decided to head over to Wichita and look for you. They searched for a few days before heading back to the bunker, hoping you might be there waiting for them. You weren’t, of course, and that only made their worry grow.
You’d been missing for nearly two weeks!  
Dean thought there might be some kind of clue in your room and decided that searching it was next on his to-do list. Though he knew he was grasping at straws, he did it anyway.
Opening the door to your room, he smiled at the poster near your bed. It was the one he’d gotten you for Christmas last year. It was a kind of gag gift—it was his favorite band. (His real gift had been much more thoughtful.)
He began his search at your desk, digging through the mess of papers splayed out on the wood surface. His brows furrowed when he found one paper in particular. It looked like… a love poem?
The way your hair looks in the morning
The way your laugh adds life to moments boring
The way your breath hits my neck when you’re standing just behind me
Reaching over to grab something off the table
A lore book, of all things to be
And the way your eyes light up when you look into mine
I swear I almost see a hint of love
Behind those piercing starlights
Your lips on mine is what I need
Did you hear me? 
I said kiss me, you fool!
We’ve not got much time
In this line of life 
And I need you at my side.
Dean didn’t know if the poem would be considered “good” in the public eye, but he knew it made his heart clench. You were in love? But… with whom?
To him, the words were beautiful, and the thought that you wrote them about someone else broke his fucking heart. He knew there were no clues to your whereabouts in the next poem, but of course, he read it anyway.
I think of you when I drive and spot a classic car
I think of you when I eat a cheeseburger 
And I’ll turn it upside down when I’m missing you
I think of you when I hear a Zepplin song
And I turn the music up when I’m not with you
I think of you when I see anyone wear flannel
Or a leather jacket that’s clearly a size or two too big
And I love to think of you
It just makes sense to me
I love to picture you beside me
At night when I can’t sleep
Or when I get scared of what I’m facing
I think of what you would do
Day or night
Night, day, or noon 
I always think of you
Whoever this mystery person was, they were fucking lucky. Dean had never felt so jealous in his entire life. He always thought you two had a “will they won’t they” side to your relationship but at that moment he realized it was completely one-sided. The fun, flirty side to all your late-night conversations had just been friendly. Two friends playfully talking as if they both wanted to be more.
Of course Dean wanted to be more. Of course he knew he wanted to be with you. But now? Now he knew he’d either missed his chance or he simply never had one.
You were in love with someone that wasn’t him. And the love you’d been writing about wasn’t the kind someone gets over. It’s the kind that sticks—for life. The kind that people write songs about, the kind that people fight wars over, and the kind that makes people go crazy in the best way. 
He knew he’d found that love when he first fell for you, but it turned out you had found that love in someone else.
“Anything?” Sam asked, walking into your room.
“Uhm,” Dean cleared his throat, hoping his eyes didn’t look as cloudy as they felt. “No, nothing important. Just some love letters or something.” 
Sam furrowed his brows and picked up one of the poems off the desk, one that Dean had not read yet. As the taller Winchester read what you wrote his eyes grew wide, practically popping out of his head as his mouth fell open.
“Oh my fucking god!” Sam exclaimed. “Y/n’s in love with you?” He looked at his older brother in shock.
“Me? No, these poems are about whoever she’s been seeing recently, they aren’t about me. We’re just friends.”
“You haven’t read this one yet, have you?” Sam asked with a small smile before handing it over.
You asked me today; “what’s your favorite color?”
And I just shrugged; “I don’t know, blue?”
Cause how could I have said the truth?
The color I love most in the world
The color that brings me nothing but joy
In this sad, awful little life
Is the green and hazel of your eyes
The emerald diamonds that shine
When you look into the sun
The soft hazel that looks over at me
When we’re reading in the library
How can I tell you all of this 
When the question is so simple and plain
How do I go into such specific detail
About the color I’m in love with
Without freaking you out
Or scaring you away
Or making you laugh at me
Because I know your favorite color 
And I know it’s not the color of my eyes
“You…You think this is really about me?” Dean asked his little brother, hoping Sam was right.
“Dean in all my life I have never seen anyone but you eat a burger bun-side-down,” Sam chuckled a little having read one of the poems Dean had read earlier.
“Oh my god.” Dean furrowed his brows, looking back down at the paper in his hands. “We’ve gotta find her, Sammy, I gotta tell her!”
“Tell her that you went through her stuff while she was gone? Don’t think that’s the best idea.”
“No! Tell her I’m in love with her! Tell her that the color of her eyes is my favorite fucking color too! And every time her favorite band comes on the radio I turn it up, and every time I see a woman wearing her type of clothes I think about her. Tell her that all I do every waking moment of every day is wish I was with her, wish I was holding her in my arms so I could never let go.”
“I think you just told her.” Sam smiled, nodding to where you now stood at your door. Dean turned around quickly. Tears of joy stung your eyes as you looked at him and smiled.
“You love me?” you asked.
“More than anything,” Dean admitted as he hurried to you. He wrapped you in a tight hug, kissing your temple quickly before he tucked your head under his chin. “I’m so glad you’re okay!”
“I’m sorry I didn’t call, it’s a long story,” you mumbled. “When vampires ban together with twisted humans, they’re a lot harder to kill.”
“We were really worried about you,” Dean admitted. “Like…fucking terrified.”
“Is that why you decided to dig through my personal shit?” you asked. You were one hundred percent kidding, but Dean was still nervous.
“Yeah…sorry,” Sam cringe-clenched his teeth, “it was my fault.”
You and Dean pulled back from the hug, but you took his hand in yours as you narrowed your gaze at the younger hunter.
“I know your tell, Sammy,” you said. “But it’s sweet that you’re trying to cover for Dean.” 
“Yep, all Dean’s fault,” Sam admitted before heading for the door, giving his brother a pat on the shoulder on his way out. “Good luck.”
“Look, I didn’t mean to invade your privacy, I swear,” Dean told you quickly. “I was looking for something that might tell me where the hell you were.”
“How many did you read?” you asked.
“Three,” Dean sighed, still thinking you were pissed at him.
“So…you know, then? That I’m hopelessly in love with you? And you think I’d be mad at you for looking through my stuff?”
“I mean, I know you value your privacy.”
“Dean,” you started, putting a hand on his cheek and turning his face to look down at you, “would you please just fuckin’ kiss me already?”
He seemed almost surprised by your question but he quickly smiled as he bent down and kissed you. His one hand stayed clasped in yours while his other went to your waist and then trailed to your lower back. The hand you had on his cheek went to the upper back of his neck so you could tangle your fingers in his hair. The smiles on both of your faces only grew before you both pulled away.
“Wow, I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” Dean mumbled before he let out a short, breathy laugh.
“Me too,” you replied. 
**
You’d been back home for a few days now and you had explained the whole missing situation to the brothers. You told them how the simple vampire hunt turned sour quickly when you realized the small-town’s sheriff was in on it and helped the vamps with making humans just disappear. They’d made you as a hunter instantly and held you hostage for a few days before you killed your way out. 
Dean never left your side so when he saw a new poem on your desk his brows furrowed. Curiosity got the better of him as he sat down to read it.
My god aren't I lucky
Now that you're holding me at night
And that first time we kissed in the doorway
I could’ve sworn I was kissing pure sunshine 
When your lips hit mine it was better
Then I could’ve ever imagined
And the love poems I've written became
Manifested words of affirmation
The butterflies in my stomach fluttered
And the blood rushed to my head
Think I could stay like this forever
Won't overthink it, I’ll just go and kiss you instead
“Well, well, well.” You came up behind him, and put your hands on his shoulders before you trailed them down and clasped them together over his chest, leaning your chin on his shoulder and kissing his cheek. “Look who’s digging through my shit again.” You smiled against his skin. He turned his head and placed a deep kiss on your lips.
“I’m not even sorry this time, because I think this might be the best thing I’ve ever read.”
“I love you,” you said and kissed him again.
“I love you so fuckin’ much,” he mumbled back.
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ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused · 7 months
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DAY SEVEN: Car Sex w/ Dean Winchester
a/n: For the first time in the last six days this day was not prewritten! That kind of worries me because I've been doing so good being on time but never fear, I'll make it work!
masterlist | kinktober masterlist | AO3
TAGLIST: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @murdadixon @zippertwat @hallecarey1 @alixwriter
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The way you ended up here was a total accident – at least, that’s what you like to tell yourself, that is. 
You weren’t attracted to Dean by any means, no no, don’t get it twisted; yes, you may think he’s handsome. Yes, you sometimes fantasize about what it would be like if you were the one that he was taking home that night, but it was totally normal to think those thoughts about your friends… right?
It was like everything that you had ever known, that you had ever told yourself had melted away into nothing as you found yourself in the backseat of the Impala, nails digging into Dean’s broad, naked shoulders as he bounced you up and down on his thick cock. He buried his face in your neck, heavy pants brushing against the sensitive skin that sent a shiver down your spine, a whimper escaping your throat when his tip brushed your g-spot.
It was kind of hard to remember how you may have ended up in this predicament, especially since Dean was  too busy fucking you into next week. Maybe it was the sexual innuendos that were rather consistent these last couple of weeks, or maybe the quick glances and secret shared moments when you’d knock into each other in the middle of the night, eyes devouring one another from the inside out as you’d bid lustful goodnights – even though you noticed the way Dean’s hands were tensed, flexing as he walked away.
You thought that maybe being away from the bunker would help with the fact that you often found yourself falling asleep after rubbing furiously at your needy clit, Dean’s name always on the tip of your tongue but never daring to slip past your lips. 
It was obvious that being locked up in a stuffy hotel room was going to be the death of you, even after the hunt was over. All it took was suggesting you, Sam, and Dean take a trip to the local dive bar to end up losing a game you hadn’t even had a chance at winning.
The windows were fogged and the car was sweltering, but that didn’t deter either of you. Months upon months of swelling tension had bubbled to the surface which was portrayed in Dean’s hard thrusts and your harsh bouncing.
“‘You feel so fuckin’ good, sweetheart.” He grunted, moving his head so that his lips brushed the shell of your ear. His stubble burned at your skin.
There was no gentleness in the way he fucked you, just pure depravity fueling your needy gripping. You took advantage of your position to caress and stroke as you pleased, just in case this was a one time thing.
“Can’t believe I finally get to fuck you,” He grunted, lifting you up to then slam you down on his cock. If the car wasn’t rocking before, it definitely was now. “Shit!” You cried out, throwing your head back.
“You know how long I’ve been wanting to feel this sweet pussy? God,” He cursed when you squeezed him. “Fuckin’ years.” He finished with a slap on your ass, sending you jolting in his lap.
‘Years?’ You would have asked, but all of your words died in your throat when you felt his cock jab at your g-spot once again. 
“Me too.” Was all you were able to whimper out. “Yeah?” He questioned through a smirk. “Mhm!” You confirmed through curled lips. “‘Would always wish I was those girls that you took home.” A hand descended from your hip up your chest to cup your breast, his finger pinching a nipple. “Ah! And I- and I would always wonder about what you would do to them, how it would feel.”
“Do you know now, sweetheart? Huh?” He cooed.
“Yeah! Yes, yes I do!” You quickly corrected yourself.
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writersblockedx · 7 months
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If it was a Preference
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Pairing - Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader Summary - You had your own history with the Winchester brothers, in particular, Dean. So when the two bumped into you, accompanied by a new hunter partner, jealousy can't help but grow. Warnings - Alcohol use, mentions of violence. Words - 2K
Masterlist
Dean didn't just like you because you were a hunter. Rather, he was much intrigued by your blunt, frankly reckless approach to hunting. You weren't afraid of the monsters you faced - or at least you certainly didn't show it. He had heard of your name before. He knew that not only his dad, but fellow hunters spoke highly of you. While he was doubtful at first, he came to realise that your approach was one he was envious of. And from the few times Dean had the privilege of working a job alongside you, he came to the conclusion that you were one of the few people he actually respected.
And so bumping into you while on a hunt was a pleasure rather than a burden. He and Sam and just rolled into town, following the trail of bodies across the state to a small town. It was that night as he wandered to the bar, his eyes caught sight of someone familiar. "I'd say it's funny seeing you here, but I think we must be chasing the same thing."
Dean was surprised to see two heads turn to him: you and one of whom he didn't recognise. A man, rough around the edges and drinking a beer. He was a hunter, Dean could guess that within a second. Your lips lifted into a smile, "Dean," You were already leaning over to give the man a welcoming hug. Yet he didn't ease into it, instead, his gaze was caught onto the hunter behind you. "It's good to see you."
You pulled from the boy, "Yeah, you too." His eyes had barely noticed you.
You followed his gaze and found the source, "Sorry, this is Jamie."
The fellow hunter held out his hand and Dean shook it cautiously, "Y/n has mentioned you before, Winchester, right?"
Dean nodded, "That would be the one." He settled by leaning onto the bar, a nagging feeling clawing at his which he could quite rationalise. "So erm, how do you two know each other?" He questioned.
"We've been working together," Jamie answered, glancing to you with a smile Dean wished he could slap off him; suddenly that nagging feeling was consuming him.
"Like a month now" You added so casually as if it were normal. "Just been helpful, fiances haven't been so easy this year so we've been travelling together." 
Dean attempted to keep up his chill facade but it was breaking and you could start to see through the cracks. "Together?" He laughed at the word. "That's funny cause I thought you only ever worked alone." He was making a dig and you couldn't quite understand why.
You glanced to Jamie who was just as confused, "Like I said, money's been more difficult. Fuel and food costs less when you're splitting it." 
"Well, when I last saw you, you swore you would neve-"
"Y/n?" The taller Winchester brother busted in, cutting Dean's snarky comment short. "What are you doing here?"
The two old friends embraced, smiles licking their lips as they retracted, "On the same job as you two it seems." She answered. 
Sam shrugged and unlike Dean, when his eyes met Jamie, they didn't scowl, "And who's this?"
You never got the chance to answer Sam; "This is Jamie." Dean interjected, "These two-" His index finger wiggled between yourself and your partner. "-are working together. Because Y/n apparently doesn't just work alone anymore."
Dean's brother could tell something was itching him. As if it wasn't already written on his face, his tone had voiced his irritation. Rather let such continue, Sam sort to deescalate the situation. "Maybe it's best we head back to the motel?" His hands grasped his brother's shoulders. "Get an early night and regroup on Monday." He flashed a forgiving smile your way before pulling Dean away from the bar.
"Sounds like a plan." You nodded your head to Sam and he continued to drag his brother out of the bar.
Your eyes followed the siblings that you had grown ever so close to. Never had something like this occurred. Of course, Dean would flirt - sometimes recklessly - but you had gotten used to it. You had started to see every word that came from his lips as just his personality. He treated any woman (or sometimes man) with the very same cheeky smirk and quick pick-up lines. But this reaction, dare you admit it, but it was almost protective. Something Dean only showed when someone's life was on the line; not when bumping into an old friend at a bar. 
Nothing changed the next day. In fact, things seemed to have heightened for Dean. His brain had latched onto his envy; to have someone stand where he had always wanted to be. To have you at his side, Sam at the other, partners. It begged the question; why did you pick someone random over him?
"There's been another one." You chucked the newspaper onto the booth the four of you had been seated in.
The morning had been spent in a rustic diner, comparing theories over coffee. When the daily newspaper came out, you made sure to be the first to purchase. And as to be expected, another dead body was printed across the pages. "They're not slowing down." Said Jamie as he observed the paper. 
"We don't know if it's vampires yet." Dean warned with a stern tone littered over his tongue.
Sam shrugged, "It's our best bet." He took the newspaper, reading further into the local news. "We are, however, on the right track. Says here this happened to the town just over."
The paper dropped back to the table where you could all see it. The blood, the lifeless body, the monster that was calling out to you. "So what now?" Jamie asked, his eyes flickering between the other three. 
"Get our fake IDs, get into this crime scene." You decided.
There followed nods of agreement before Sam added, "I'll stay here, do some research, see if I can find where they're heading next."
"I'll stick with you." Jamie offered. "I'm sure Y/n can tell you, I'm not the best at the lying and acting, especially not to authority." Such was true and had almost landed you in some bad, illegal places; and people wonder why you did all this alone.
"Well then," Your eyes caught Dean's like you were in a crossfire. "Looks like it's just us two, agent."
You crawled from the booth where you gathered the fake FBI badge from your coat pocket. "Agent Johnson, really? How imaginative." Dean read the name as he stood in front of you, ever so close your chests could have brushed against one another.
"Better than some random guitarist's second name." You grew a smirk which Dean didn't dare break.
Instead, he smirked back, "They are not just random." With that, the two of you started walking towards Baby, digging deep into Dean's facades on all his IDs.
The crime scene was as to be expected. Suburban house; police tape; nosy neighbours. You and Dean were used to wriggling your way into the scene. Pushing through with ease, dressed in the smartest clothes which couldn't say any lounder that you were someone of importance. And when you finally reached the front of the crowd, the officer noticed it too.
"Excuse me," You called to the cop who was already on her way over. "We're with the state, if you don't mind we'd like to take a look around, following up on some other leads." You explained as you had done numerous times before.
With a flash of your badges, the tape was moved for your entrance, "Thank you." Dean muttered to the cop before the two of you made a B-line for the porch. "So, you're certain this is vampires?"
He opened the door and you followed him, "I never said certain." With a scan of the hallway, you deemed it safe from any wondering eyes and grabbed the EMF reader. "We've still got some things to cross off the list."
A static noise was sounded from the small machine, but no beeping; you were safe for now. "Well I just thought that because Jamie said-"
"Jesus, Dean!" You weren't even halfway down the hallway before he was bringing up the subject. "Would you just drop it? I can form my own opinion and usually, my opinion is right about a hunt."
"I'm just checking miss 'I only ever work alone'." He made quotation marks as his feet stood firmly in the midst of the hallway. He did so on purpose, blocking your way further into the house. "Who knows, maybe having a partner will change how you work." He suggested.
Your expression moulded into one of offence, "You doubt me?"
Dean could have shivered, "No." He seemed sure of that. "I doubt him. I don't know who he is and I certainly doubt he's good enough for you...to be your partner I mean." The boy added in case there was room for misunderstanding.
A sigh fell from your lips and suddenly, in the face of Dean, you couldn't keep it in anymore. "Look, I'd be lying if I said Jamie was a good hunter. He isn't. He almost got us arrested because he forgot the name on his FBI badge. He can't aim for shit, he doesn't know lore about basic monsters. I was explaining vampires to him last night right until you bumped into us." The words started pouring and you weren't stopping them. 
"So why work with him?"
"He's not just anyone Dean. He comes from a rich, very loaded, family. The only reason he knows anything supernatural is because one of their houses had a vengeful spirit which I got rid of for them." You explained. "Like I said, it's practical, not preference."
You watched in a passing moment as Dean's gaze faltered and the cogs in his brain started to turn. When he looked back at you, something seemed to be flickering within his pupils - you just couldn't work out what. "And if it was up to preference?" His voice was low as if whispering a secret.
You shrugged, suddenly unsure of where Dean was headed. "Alone, you know that."
"But if you had to?" He jumped in before you could take another breath.
Uncertain, you chuckled, "Dean, if you're wanting for me to say-"
He took a step closer, trapping you between himself and the wall. It was a small hallway, even smaller with Dean pressing your back against the wall. And it was safe to say your breaths were uneven, your heart was struggling to keep up with your thoughts and you couldn't break your stare with Dean. "I want you to mean it."
You attempted to take an easy breath in a way that didn't show Dean how obviously crumbled you were by his words. "Dean, if I had to pick anyone to work with, of course, it would be you." Never did you blink. "And I mean that so much so that I can't believe you have to question it."
Suddenly your eyes broke from one another. Only to flicker to the lips. You took a breath and before you realised, there was no more space in between you. Caught up against the wall, breathless, you were moulding your lips against Dean's; the only hunter you could ever see yourself working with.
"I thought you guys were checking the place out?"
You jumped and then froze. In the door way stood the policewoman; one way to ruin the moment.
Of course, Dean slurted out his usual, "Yeah, just checking out these walls here." His knuckles knocked against the wall by your head before the two of you sheepishly continued into the house.
Maybe the job wasn't over and maybe you had just come close to breaking your FBI facade, but you would never regret the words you spoke or the actions you made in that very moment. 
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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 8 months
Text
Apple Pie
Dean Winchester x little sister!reader, Sam Winchester x little sister!reader
Requested by @curious-trickster
Synopsis: you start baking to cure your boredom of being cooped up
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“Do you smell that?”
Sam looked up from the book he was reading and hesitantly sniffed the air.
“Yeah…it smells good.”
The boys put down their research and began to search the bunker, heading first to the kitchen.
“Hey, I didn’t know you were up,” Sam frowned when he saw you, your crutches leaning against the counter as you hobbled around the kitchen.
“Yeah, I was going nuts cooped up in my room,” you shrugged, reaching around Sam’s arm to grab the flour.
“So…what are you doing?” Dean glanced around the mess in the kitchen.
“Baking.”
Sam scoffed, “You can bake?”
“We’re about to find out,” you opened the oven and reached down inside, but Dean stopped you when he saw you wavering on your one good leg.
“Let me,” he insisted, grabbing the hot pad and pulling the pie out of the oven.
“I’ll be glad when I’m out of this stupid thing,” you grumbled, glaring at your cast like that would do anything.
“Yeah,” Sam cringed. “Again, sorry about that.”
You’d think, given the dangerous lives your big brothers led, that your injury would have a cool story. But no, you’d walked into the bunker with Sam right behind you, and the Moose had been walking a little too fast and had accidentally knocked you down the stairs.
“What is this?” Dean asked, turning your pie this way and that to get a good look.
You rolled your eyes, taking it from his hands and laying it on a cooling rack.
“Apple pie. Get a plate and I’ll cut you some.” You stared in surprise when Dean hesitated. “What? I’ve never seen you turn down pie in your life!”
“Just…you made this? Like the whole thing? From scratch?” Dean was staring at the pie like it might explode.
“Yes, I did. Oh don’t be such a baby, try it!” You waved a fork under his nose, and he took it reluctantly.
“Fine, but if I get food poisoning, I-“ Dean froze the second the forkful of pie touched his mouth.
You held your breath. It was your first time baking anything, so you really weren’t sure if it was any good.
“Well?” You asked.
“This is the best thing I’ve ever put it my mouth,” Dean breathed, snatching up the pie and digging his fork in it again.
“Really?” You squealed.
“Mm-hmm,” Dean enthused, backing away when Sam tried to reach for it.
“Let me try it!” Sam demanded, and Dean turned and bolted out of the kitchen, Sam following right behind.
You laughed and shook your head, turning back to the bowl of ingredients you were mixing.
Maybe they’d have a fist fight over the cookies next. You were totally ready to sit back and enjoy the show.
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huhniebowl · 7 days
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Tomato Paste
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dominic fike x reader
warning(s): nonee! well…he has an eyebrow piercing. again. it’s just gonna be canon for my fics now lmao
a/n: this is so cute, i loved writing and working on this omg. it was a little embarrassing to write i won’t lie, but here we are lmao.
i really am a slow writer, so i apologize for being so slow with your requests😭
i hope you love this, thank you for requesting! <3
¥
"20 minutes, tops," You declare with your pointer finger, grabbing your purse and heading for the door.
"Can’t believe you forgot the tomato paste.” You mutter, slipping into your shoes, “Was probably starting at tits or something.”
Dominic raises an eyebrow, eyes lingering on your white tank top that’s tightly clinging to your body.
"Yeah, yours." He teases, locking his phone and winking at your boobs.
You gasp, clutching your shirt dramatically. "Fucking perv."
Dom pulls off his hoodie and tosses it over to you.
“20 minutes!” He reiterates. “I didn’t forget about that oat milk trip. We were there for damn near a decade.”
You laugh, that store trip was a disaster. You couldn’t decide on what brand was better. You ended up getting none of them and Dom was shivering by the time you left because he lended you his sweatshirt while in the dairy section.
“Yeah, yeah!” You call back, tugging on his hoodie.
“It’s just tomato paste. I got this baby. Trust me.” You wink, snag his keys from the key bowl, and blow him a kiss before slamming the door behind you.
Your relationship is still new, blossoming beautifully at the five-month mark.
Every visit felt weightless, a comfortable ease settling between you. He has a worn green mug by the sink, its familiar chipped rim and, coffee stains a silent welcome every morning.
In your top drawer, boxers and a pair of his mismatched socks, faded blue with cartoon ninja turtles, peeks out from your panties.
And tucked in your living room bookshelf, a framed photo of the two of you at the beach when he officially asked to be your boyfriend.
He’s easily made himself at home.
You agreed to tell your parents about each other once you reached half a year. It was your idea, believing that you and Dominic would be well past the honeymoon phase by then.
Which was proved true by month four.
Dominic digs through the fridge and pulls out a bowl of fresh fruit you had washed and cut up earlier.
With a bottle of water tucked into his sweatpants pocket, he plops down on the living room couch, opens up Netflix, and starts an episode of Supernatural.
Despite knowing you’re gone, he still glances at the front door. He knows he shouldn’t be watching this without you, but the last episode you left off on was too good of a cliffhanger.
He’s about halfway through the show when an insistent jiggling of the front doorknob echos through the house.
Sam and Dean’s fight starts to blur as panic floods Dominic's vision. No way you were back already – He knows you said twenty minutes, but he didn’t think you were serious!
His palms are slick, the remote slipping and sliding in his cold sweat.
A frantic scramble, a muted click – Sam and Dean vanish. Throwing the remote, Dom snatches his phone, adopts a posture of casual indifference, and opens a random app.
The door creaks open, a sound that scrapes against his already frayed nerves.
"Hey babe," He manages, attempting nonchalance. Silence answers him.
Then his phone vibrates with a text.
You MY PARENTS R COMING TO THE HOUSE THEY HUNG UP BEFORE I COULD MENTION U kjhasjhdf IM SO SORRY I’m hurrying home now omg
His eyes scan the frantic message. A torrent of misspelled words tumbled across the screen, punctuated by a desperate string of emojis that only you would send.
His heart, already doing a nervous stutter, plummets straight to his stomach. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not yet.
“Holy fucking,” Dominic starts under his breath, but he’s cut off by a voice that an tone lower than his will ever be.
“What the fuck? Who the hell are you?”
“Shit.” He finishes.
Dominic steels himself, taking a deep breath and rising to his feet. A charming smile, practiced a thousand times over, plasters itself onto his face as he turns around to face your parents.
The first thing that strikes him is the resemblance you have to your mother. You share her eyes and cheekbones, though hers were softened by time, their edges less sharp than yours. Age has been kind to her; she radiates a quiet beauty that makes Dominic clench his fists.
Not to hide his nervousness, but to sedate a far away thought - a vision of you, years down the line, etched with the same kind aging your mother was graced with, perhaps with children by your side, their eyes mirroring yours, but with his nose.
"Um, this isn't exactly how I pictured our first meeting," Dominic begins, his voice a touch higher than usual. He clears his throat, the nervous chuckle a hollow sound.
"I'm Dominic. Dominic Fike. I've, uh, been dating your daughter for the past five months and a half."
He addresses them formally, and by your last name, extending a hand for a handshake. Their expressions are unreadable at the mention of his name, a blank canvas that sends a jolt of relief through him.
The last thing he needed was for them to recognize him from some outrageous thing he’s said on the internet. A shiver runs down his spine, a phantom memory of his last concert ramble.
How he hasn’t launched into a word vomit, or worse, blacked out entirely, is a mystery. Dealing with fame has its drawbacks - the unpredictable interviews he loathes, the constant fan interactions.
None, however, have ever felt this paralyzing.
His heart pounds frantically in his ears as your dad gives him a thorough once-over. It's narrows on his chest, lingers on his arms. He’s confused at the interest of his body, then his confusion morphs into a sickening realization.
He’s fucking shirtless.
"Fuck," He mutters under his breath.
Your dad's eyebrows shoot up. He eyes your boyfriend as if he just declared his love for a rival sports team.
"Excuse me, son?" Dominic winces. A cold sweat prickles his skin. He flinches back and yanks his outstretched hand like he’s been burned. He throws a desperate glance at your mom, silently begging for her help.
She's been quiet the whole time. But when she meets Dominic's eyes, a small smile graces her lips. She rests a calming hand on your dad's shoulder.
"Why don't you go freshen up," She suggests, voice soft. "Maybe put on a shirt, and then we’ll go from there.”
Dominic nods vigorously.
"Yes ma’am of course, good call. So so sorry." He practically sprints towards your room, throwing another mumbled apology over his shoulder.
"Did you see the face tats? The Xs on his eyelids? That damn eyebrow piercing?" He hears your dad whisper yell to your mom.
Dominic closes your bedroom door shut, finally allowing himself to exhale the breath he didn't know he was holding.
He leans against the door, head tilted back in defeat, when another horrifying thought hits him.
It's laundry day.
And before you left, you'd tossed the first load in the washer. The load that, of course, included all the clothes he's left at your place. The hoodie he gave you before you left was the last clean thing he had.
"This can't be happening," He whispers, dragging a hand down his face. He stumbles over to the closet and flicks on the light. Panic clouds his judgment. Scanning your clothes, he snatches the first thing he sees folded on the top shelf.
Your baby pink sweatshirt.
He's just pulling it on when he hears the front door open again. Your voice, laced with slight urgency, filters through.
He lets out a deep breath, not bothering to check his reflection, and jogs out of the room.
He rounds the corner and sees you. Relief washes over him, momentarily melting his anxiety. You turn from your parents at the sound of his footsteps, about to launch into an apology, but the words die on your lips.
The moment he's close enough, Dominic practically throws himself at you, burying his face in your neck. He doesn't care that your parents are watching. He was just short of possibly passing out, and all he craves is the comfort you always seem to radiate.
You understand instantly, and glare at your parents over his shoulder.
Your arms tighten around Dominic's lower back as you stroke his hair with a comforting hand. You feel him relax against you, and turn your face to plant a soft kiss on his head.
"You okay?" You murmur against his hair.
Dominic manages a small nod, but he doesn't stay wrapped in you for as long as he'd like. Steeling himself, for the umpteenth time today, he straightens up, and faces your parents.
With a newfound confidence blooming in his chest with you by his side, he clears his throat.
“I really apologize for earlier. I wasn’t expecting to meet you both so soon.” He reaches out for your hand. His voice holds a hint of nervousness, but he sounds sure of himself now.
“I love your daughter very much and go above and beyond to make sure she knows that.” He continues, his gaze flickers between your parents. "I hope in time you both will see that."
You beam with pride at your boyfriend's attempt to win over your folks. Your dad, however, remains unconvinced, a furrow etched between his brows. Your mom, on the other hand, wears a blinding smile.
An awkward silence stretches, punctuated only by the rhythmic ticking of a wall clock. Finally, your mom swats the back of your dad's head. He yelps, bewildered, before his eyes dart between you and your mom. Throwing his hands up, he finally speaks up,
"There’s still much to unpack here. And frankly, those tats and piercings are ridiculous." Dominic shrugs and nods - rubbing the back of his neck.
"But," Your dad breathes, a hint of a begrudging smile playing on his lips, "You seem to have won my daughter over. And since she's basically a carbon copy of me, I trust her judgment."
You and your mom roll your eyes.
Your dad’s eyes then drop to Dominic's sweatshirt. His right eyebrow shoots up as he grumbles something under his breath, then shakes his head in defeat before stalking off towards the kitchen.
You glance down at your boyfriends long sleeve, your eyes widening in realization. Your hand flys to cover your mouth.
Your mom watches your dad go, a hint of amusement in her eyes. She then turns to Dominic, a warm smile still gracing her lips.
"Welcome to the family, hun," She says, squeezing his arm. The gesture sends pure relief through him. He manages to smile back.
"Thank you," He squeezes her hand back, voice genuine. "Happy to be here."
Your mom nods curtly and follows after your dad into the kitchen. The moment she's out of earshot, you drop your hand and let out a loud, unrestrained laugh. Dominic gives you a look, assuming it was fueled by his earlier distress.
"Maybe pay a little more attention next time you raid my closet," You wheeze, doubling over as you lean on his shoulder for support.
That's when it hits him. He remembers your dad's gaze at his shirt. He looks down in haste.
Stitched in bright pink threading and surrounded by a ridiculous amount of hearts and sparkles were the words: "FIKE'S BABYDOLL."
"Oh come the fuck on," He groans.
What the hell even was this last hour.
He glances down at you, now sprawled on the floor, tears wetting your face from laughter. The sound is infectious, and before he can help it, a smile spreads across his face.
“Yeah okay, did you get the tomato paste atleast?”
You stop laughing.
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