#did I read it? most certainly not

[incompleteninny]

The sixty-seventh free, unedited chapter of my upcoming book, “The Heist at Cordia Aquarium” is now available on its website (or click here to read from the beginning).

It's dark. Cramped and humid and hot. Thea tightens her arms around her knees; each breath comes rough. Haggard. Harsh against her throat, dry and raw as it is.

It's my fault. I could have said something; I could have stayed out of this and let them find someone better. Then Ivan could become a wrestler; Waylon could help whoever it was that needs him. But no, I'm selfish. I took everything from them.

Her thoughts bounce around inside her head, repeating — never-ending. Those that she escapes just add to the weight of the air around her. Floating at the edge of her perception, like specters waiting for another turn to haunt her.

She presses her head into her knees and she wretches. A dry, tearless sound — just as it's been for a while now. How long am I going to sit here, useless?

[...]

#heroku deleted my websites database so I'm a day late #did they send me an email that they were going to delete the free tier of databases? maybe #did I read it? most certainly not #and am I going to claim responsibility? I'll leave the answer to that open ended #anyway book tags #queer author #queer novel #queer lit #asexual protagonist #tw: anxiety #tw: negative thoughts #cat that thinks they're the protagonist

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this. #wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it... #some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself... #maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts. #orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little. #certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'. #i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

[1doesnotsimplyhavejust1fandam]

Imagine being such close besties with someone that your entire world knows about it. Just. Sirius Black and James Potter being so close that literally nobody questions that Sirius was the Potters’ Secret Keeper, even when he immediately went after Peter in a very public way, instead of laying low like any sane person would do after they were just revealed a traitor and their precious Lord died (although, they did think Sirius went mad, so it makes sense in a way). But of everyone in the Order, no one once questioned the Potters making Sirius their Secret Keeper, despite his prejudiced family, despite the Prank, despite any number of ways in which Sirius wasn’t perfect. Everyone in the Wizarding World still saw Sirius and James, and thought, “yeah, there’s no way it was anyone else, even if the betrayal makes their friendship seem so much less deep”. There was no reason for Remus to question it because he watched James and Sirius be the best of friends for a decade, he knew Sirius was Harry’s godfather, he knew James would have trusted no one more, that Lily loved Sirius and thought the world of him. There really was no other choice for the Potters, to anyone.

Which makes Peter being Secret Keeper that much more awful because it was such a genius move! Sirius was actually so smart to try this twist, to suggest making Peter the Secret Keeper. He knew everyone knew how close him and James were, how close he’d always been to the Potter family, he knew they’d come after him and Sirius would’ve DIED rather than betray his friends, his godson. He would’ve died to protect Peter too, so that nobody would know who the Secret Keeper really was. There was no reason to suspect Peter when there was Sirius Black, known Death Eater hater and unendingly loyal to his friends, RIGHT THERE. If Sirius really HAD died, he would’ve gone out thinking his friends would still be safe bc once Voldemort discovered he wasn’t the Secret Keeper, it would’ve jumped to Remus or even an older Light member like Moody or Dumbledore. Sirius damned himself knowingly, before ever finding out that Peter had gotten the Potters killed.

Sometimes I think about how Sirius managed to convince James and Lily to use Peter instead of him. They both must’ve known that Sirius would be killed immediately once it was determined that he didn’t know the Secret, so Sirius must have used Harry against them, said that they needed to do ANYTHING to keep their little boy safe, even if it meant Sirius offering himself up as a target, a sacrifice for their safety. Sirius must have thought he was so smart, because he found a way to keep his friends and godson safe, even though he wasn’t the Secret Keeper, and he didn’t put them at risk by trusting “potential spy: Remus Lupin”. He must have argued with James and Lily for ages about it, convincing them that it was the right decision, some misdirection to keep them safer for longer, another line of defense between their little Harry and the monster who wanted to destroy him.

It’s already wild to me that Sirius even held enough power/voice in this discussion to even suggest Peter as Secret Keeper. Like, the level of trust James and Lily must’ve had in him, to entrust their lives AND their son’s in Sirius’ plan? Nobody can ever say that Sirius wasn’t loved and trusted to the ends of the earth by James and Lily. They wanted HIM because there was nobody they trusted more, even with how reckless Sirius is shown to be, even years later. Trying to imagine Sirius in Azkaban all those years, knowing he basically handed his best friends over to Voldemort with that plan? Hell on earth, literally. He speaks on it maybe once to Harry in the entirety of the series, and it’s so clear that he is completely derisive about the plan. He despises the fact that it was his plan that got his best friends killed, that caused Harry to lose his parents. He blames himself (and Peter), but he had over a decade to sit in prison and think about the what ifs of that plan, to remember that it was his idea that killed James and Lily.

#can you tell how much I love him? #sirius black #he wasn’t perfect but he WAS everything to me #and he was obviously everything to James and Lily too #sometimes I wish that we’d gotten a James or Lily pov of their deaths and then I remember that I am only human #and would most certainly pass away upon reading this pov #not a day goes by #where I do not think about the tragedy of what could have been for the marauders #James LOVES Sirius #that’s his fucking BROTHER #james would’ve fought anyone who accused Sirius of being the spy (and probably did given Moody’s paranoia yikes) #james potter #lily potter #lily evans #lily evans potter #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #the marauders #marauders #texts to my bestie #Harry Potter #almost forgot that tag lol

[forcedhesitation]

this undeniably has to be one of the worst opinions I've seen about this season. like out of the plentiful failures season 4 had... you really couldn't choose one to talk about? max's mental health was one of the only things that I felt season 4 handled pretty damn well.

I do think it could have been better written, yes. the ending of her arc in season 4 was....insulting at best.

but overall? the show does a great job of addressing that max actually hated billy (she literally fucking admits to wishing for his death) and that her grief is more complicated than just missing a person. because she wasn't missing a person! she was ultimately glad billy was gone. but even in death, he torments her.

she watched a person she grew up with be brutally murdered by some fleshy abomination, RIGHT in front of her. her shitbag step father bailed on her and her mother after billy died, forcing them to move to the trailer park. her mother abuses alcohol and is never home because she's always working so they can afford to live in the trailer park. her friend group has been split in two by the byers moving away, which took el away from her too. she doesn't know how to reach out to lucas, deep down doesn't feel she deserves his love & concern, despite lucas' best efforts (vecna literally taunts her with lucas turning on her at the final confrontation). she wished so badly to have someone like steve in billy, but she knows that billy would never be that person. he was the complete opposite & she can't just have steve in his place. she mourns the brother she never had. she is devastated by the way billy still hurts her, even after he's gone.

she's what. fourteen??? when this all happens?

like the death of an abuser is never so simple as "hooray! I am so very joyous now that the source of my pain is gone!" the damage an abuser inflicts on you is not some cut to the skin that can be healed and one day forgotten. it's so much more tortuous than that. especially for a child.

#stranger things #thoughts about media #“her trauma was so unserious because I cannot critically engage with a TV show in a way that transcends clout chasing on social media" #stranger things fans on twitter continuing to prove that they are the worst. business as usual I suppose. #I only clicked the trending tag because I figured little lord zionism had once again said something repulsive. #or that another cast member had defended his or the other lunatic's odious words. #nope. schnapp apparently has no work lined up after st5. which is lovely news. may he rot thoroughly. #and then this ridiculous post. #you know. the smallest spark of recognition flickered in my mind when I saw the user's url. so this can't be the first time. #however- I did not have them blocked. HA! they sure are now! although I'm sort of curious what awful opinions they've shared before. #eh- but most certainly not curious enough to waste my time and risk reading some utter garbage about steve. #the block button is not enough for those who slander steve's good name.

[13eyond13]

Just HAPPENED TO ME AGAIN

#i was reading a comic and it was like Jesus this wife character is an ANGEL #she is not going to survive and what do you know #she most certainly did not #p

[theblogof-rassilon]

Hello Rassilon. Apologies for the deception but I rather wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself. I'm assuming you're alone; you always did prefer to read your Asks in private. I wouldn't try too hard to stop reading, there's every likelihood you'll just hurt yourself. So just listen.

Anon ask of Omega (Your Ex) regarding Rassilon's current partners. Ask begins.

I hope you'll forgive me the self-indulgence, but I have worked so very hard for this moment, a culmination of two centuries of work. It's rare that you get the chance to monologue through another, and you can't tell me you're not curious.

Why does an ex seek to talk about their former partner's lovers?

It's a simple enough answer: for satisfying one's curiosity. Uninspired, perhaps, but my god. The discovery, not simply of the variety of partners you take interest in, but that you would quite willingly date the teacher of one of Gallifrey's most infamous children.

It's a strange thing to know about an ex, but the fascination, Rassilon, the fascination of it all. I have dedicated my afterlife to handing myself knowledge of these partners, and I feel nothing but satisfaction in this choice.

I believe there are far more people in this world that would catch your eye than you would ever guess. And I have preceeded all of them.

Of course, their desires did not manifest overnight. When Tumblr first gathered your romantic intereste – Borusa, Banthony, and the rest – to discuss and hypothesize on the nature of their love for you, I felt what I believe we all felt: jealousy, and anger.

But as attention on Tumblr increased in number and discussion on the greatest partner for you emerged, I began to develop a very specific concern. Banthony was so obsessed with his ideas on you and his marriage, even as our fellows began to flirt and confess our love to you ourselves.

I began to worry that if Banthony successfully attempted to catch your gaze, then I would be as much a victim as any, trapped in the nightmare landscape of a twisted world without your love.

At first, I attempted prevention, but the cause seemed hopeless. The only way to ensure I did not suffer the tribulations of what I believed to be an inevitable confession of love was to stop my own feelings of love. So what began as an experiment soon became a race. I would make you fall in love with Banthony before professing your love to anyone else, therefore eliminating what myself or Borusa's feelings may be.

And there, I think, we are brought just about up to date. I have enjoyed our little trip down memory lane, but past here lies only a happy future for you and Banthony.

Goodbye, Rassilon

- Omega xoxo

I- I don't know what to say.

Omega, if this is really you, if you somehow, by every twist and turn of fate imaginable, survived this long in some form... My love for you has always been the greatest of any I have felt. Never have I loved another in the way I loved you.

But that is in the past. I have to stop letting you hold me back. I made my decision that fateful day; I did what I had to do to reach the top, to shape this society- our society, our dream- in the way that it must be shaped. Gallifrey could never have had two rulers. You knew this going in. And, best of all, dearest love, you knew that I would not be able to stand a threat to my power and my control. So, as much as I loved you, Omega, my sweet Ohm, my darling Peylix, I had to let you go. For us, for our home, for our people, for our dream. For Gallifrey. We would both be dead and gone by now if I had not, but now, you live on in your beautous creations, and in our shared society. Look at our children. At what we have created. This must be enough.

Oh, but my darling, you never could be so easily satisfied.

That is why I loved you. And that is why I had to let you go.

If this really were you, I would say, dearest Ohm, that I am glad you are able to let me go. I know that must be exceedingly difficult. But, I am happy with Borusa, and I do not love Banthony. If I did not have Borusa to think of, perhaps things would be different, and I would honour your wishes. Perhaps, then, you may finally find peace.

I am truly sorry that I must leave you trapped in your death, but you will never be in a world without my love. My love for you transcends the grave- and yes, I know, it must be your grave, my darling, for you cannot have survived beyond. I know, in my hearts, that you are gone and that this cannot be from you, not really, for you are lost to all but my memory.

Goodbye, my love. For whatever isn't left of you, for whatever could have been- my love for you persists even now, across regenerations and across death and across time.

#sorry it took me so long to get here #this is truly the most incredible ask I have ever received #ask #omega #of rassilon #answer #banthony #borusa #also. a little obsessed with the idea of a once-enraged ex lover returning to being obsessed with the guy who LITERALLY MURDERED HIM only t #end up wanting the best for him and trying to match make him. And instead of choosing to encourage the love of a fellow obsessive sub who #is clearly in an unhealthy relationship with Rassy (Borusa) #ergo mirroring his own lost relaitonship #he chooses to encourage the love of a FICTIONAL CHARACTER who was basically a MEME brought to life only to annoy Rassy #idk what you call it... character development?? BUt this is certainly wonderful and intriguing and hilarious #seriously. you are brilliant #also I think it's important to mention that the mian reason this took me so long to get to was because the first time I read it I opened it #at school and burst out laughing in front of everyone #and I haven't been able to answer this without laughing uproariously for so so long #and then I took the break and then I left town for a bit #but I'm back and I'm still laughing so so much and yet here we are #I did it!!! #also I hope Borusa sees this and gets mad and finally leaves this bitch (rassy) #he deserves better #find later #omega omega omega

[altruistic-meme]

me: *existing*

my brain: hey heres another fic idea!!! and another!!!! oh wouldn't it be so cool if you wrote this??? wouldn't you LOVE to plan this fic out??? you should definitely plan this one, i promise you don't even have to write it ;) [<- is lying, knows that i'll want to write it even more if i plan it]

#and naturally bc i reread capri and have been reading capri fics that all the ideas im having are capri ideas #apparently my brain has decided there are not nearly enough canon divergent capri fics too bc thats all its throwing at me #mostly marlas-centered which makes sense since that's like #the most common point to diverge from canon in this fandom #though it did also provide me with 2 divergences at the start of the first book #anyway i don't need it to be providing me with ANY NEW IDEAS #we have GOT fics to write!!! we have WIPS!!!!! they need our ATTENTION FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! #but no #no #instead i get 'what if it was theomedes and kastor who died at marlas instead of aleron and auguste?' #a king for a king and a brother for a brother #how would damen react? ;) #an end to the fighting for sure bc if he dies now then akielos will certainly fall #but akielos would also definitely NOT be getting delfeur in this #since they'd be the 'losing' side #and also 'what if damen got amnesia due to the head trauma on the ship to arles?' #'what if damen didn't remember who he was??? what if he had the vague knowledge of his culture and his life but not that he was a prince??' #i should. put my laptop up and try and sleep. #shh ac

[chiropteracupola]

I think it is good that peter yearsley’s audiobook collection extends mostly to ghost stories, holmes stories, the works of e. nesbit, and some miscellaneous poetry and histories, because if he had done readings of adventure-novels too, I would unfortunately be completely In The Soup.

#once again haunted by a great desire for tales of derring-do on air and sea in the early 20th century #rereading phoenix and ashes was a good substitute but I’ve now moved on to serpent’s shadow #and the lads are taking forEver to show up so I am not quite getting my requisite dose of Adventuring #so once again the only thing standing between me and a descent into the Biggles Regions is a lack of audiobooks #most of my reading-time is in the ceramic bowl mines these days so other forms of book are less compatible with that #have I actually Looked to see if there exist such a thing. No. #since after all that would constitute Bigglesward Action (which I have endeavored so valiantly not to take) #but hey. if at some future copyright-expired time the esteemed mr yearsley of librivox Did record some. #well I would certainly not say no to downloading some files!

[shrekshugebadussy]

started playing The Arcana again bcuz i forgot it was a thing and i never finished it (only got halfway thru Asra’s route) & i got very curious about Lucio’s route since he’s practically the dead one & how that would work and let me tell you when that motherfucker opened his mouth… yeah i knew i was in trouble 🙃

#he most certainly fits my type #i mean he’s a little (a lot) full of himself. confident asshole. troubled. protective & flirty. mischievous. #just… #i’m ngl kinda reminds me of astarion a bit #but yeah i saw an ad for it and forgot it existed & i started the Asra route again #but i had to restart bcuz i couldn’t remember what happened #but i think i stopped reading before bcuz i constantly had no coins & i couldn’t earn them thru the wheel & i kept losing the game 🥲 #i get they’re an indie developer but i hate that i have to spend so much just for a special scene #but only did i now learn that the paid choices do not affect the ending so i’m glad about that #i think that’s what mostly turned me away last time #i thought the coined choices got the good ending 😭 #anyways #mine #the arcana #delete later? #oof

[britneyshakespeare]

Man is saying weird things to me again

#help mom he's oversharing about drinking scotch every evening #that's very on brand for Man #tales from diana #i literally did Nothing to reach out to him i don't know what he wants #i was just thinking in the shower literally not even half an hour ago about how you know it's strange #he used to always have this way of talking to me like he was trying to impress me which is just kinda silly honestly #like i was a 20-21-year-old in awe of him and he was a retired male model eight years older than me w more life experience #and some rather exotic and interesting experiences at that #i think he somewhat envies that i seem (at least to him) like a self-possessed 'intellectual' #thats how he talks to me at least. it's funny tho #not that im not. like. smart. i think the both of us know i'm better-read than he'll be in 3 lifetimes #and i'm not quite self-possessed but i certainly don't have the open-wounded insecurity he does #while also being rather more confident than most ppl in some areas (and it's not ALL unearned) #he's got much more ambition than i do though. more ambition than i'll have in 10 lifetimes #and he seems to do everything with a motivation of external validation and approval. #so i think he has a chip on his shoulder. poor little Man #the two of us could not be more opposite. but i don't really strive to be like him in the ways he strives to be like me #he chases this dream of what he thinks the perfect man is and it's quite inhuman so of course he falls short. #i on the other hand am if anything much TOO accepting of my own faults and shortcomings. ahem #these are all things i will never say to Man. he's too silly to hear it #besides. im rather sure he likes me (? in some way) and i am these days just very ambivalent to him #i can't NOT say i find him attractive bc i do but he's just. sooooo not the one lol #he's a fascinating creature all flaws aside but i never find myself studying him at my own volition #Man just comes outta the woods sometimes to tell me about his travels or women or whiskey. he's odd #he's very eccentric but between the two of us i think i'm the better eccentric. no wonder he visits me sometimes #but he brings gifts and prayers like he's coming to a devotional shrine or something. i'm like sir this is not a temple #he'll never be normal but he is so strange in the ways i'm too good for. if i do say so myself #(and that's saying something bc i'm not too good for ANYTHING)

[hanzajesthanza]

you are reading witcher fanfiction on ao3, i am reading witcher fanfiction on the sapkowski zone using the wayback machine and copious amounts of google translate. we are not the same

#/j obviously #but i actually am surprised because #although there is a wide range of 'aw i smiled that was cute' 'huh okay idk about this' 'what the fuck did i just read' #like there is with most fanfiction #these fanfictions are actually about the books. in one of these fanfictions fucking pogwizd connor bronik and nimue showed up #and i was like 'holy fuck they know about my favorite characters?' #'oh well obviously. obviously they do because we read the same series and are talking about the same thing' #how sad (but also funny) is it that reading a fanfiction which is about the same thing i am interested in i am like - 'oh my god?' #it's an odd feeling to see a pre-games pre-netflix fandom but it's certainly interesting and resonates #but also makes me grateful for the present #it makes me grateful for my friends and people i have talked to about the series. idk it is a nice reminder that it's a privilege #to be able to talk to others on the internet and that the amount of what one can post or say has greatly increased #txt #the witcher books #if you want to join http://web.archive.org/web/19991012204925/http://sapkowski.fantasy.art.pl:80/fanfict/index.html.po

[larabar]

art summary !! its been a year also heres the template i made if you wanna use it v

^ edit it however you like i just kinda made it in 5 minutes you dont need to credit me go wild

#!!!!!!! MADE IT #this year .this year #ok first of all this year has certainly been A Year ! but i think i made it through alright #whole Bunch of ups and downs and zigs and zags #but ! made it!! and so did you reading this!!! #i think that is very cool #i cant really remember much from this year to be completely honest #at least from the first half #but i had fun throughout it and thats all i need #art wise uhh also a bunch of zigs and zags but hey the sonic interest is not going away anytime soon skdhfjkh #most of my favorite things i drew this year were doodles and other things though #so it was hard picking 'finished' stuff #speaking of which september's isnt actually finished. thats why i never posted it #but it was the most finished from that month so ! oh well #chip showed up three (3) times this year .again #its fun to compare this year's with last year's ^^ #but anyways !! i think thats all #hope everyones doing alright this fine new year's eve #thanks for helping me get through this year i literally. genuinely couldnt have done it without you #so thanks :) #happy new year !

[sonknuxadow]

amy and sally are best friends i dont care your "amy gets mad at any girl who breathes in sonics direction" propaganda will not work on me

#i am convinced anyone who thinks they hate eachother didnt actually read archie sonic because they most certainly did not hate eachother #or they just hate amy and like sally or vice versa and wanna make them enemies because of that even if its out of character

[tragicmelpomene]

I feel like an academic genius every time I read a piece of french theory and actually come out the other side with even a semblance of comprehension.

#french theory is a war zone #I was reading Barthes and sad #and now I'm reading Robbe Grillet and happy #I know that TECHNICALLY he isn't a theorist #but he most certainly did write a collection of essays #on the new novel #so suck it #he has restored my faith in my abilities as a student of literature #as a person within the academia in general #dark academia #da #academia #text #personal #xx

[landlordevil]

you read the manga about the fascist, all boys club that pushes for violent forms of technology to bring about an age of youth and beauty, a club that prides itself on sexually abusing and murdering women and girls for their inherent weakness, and all you got out of it was that it was BL. ok.

#i went thru a furuyama and maruo phase and read most of their works a few yrs ago #don't think i would ever recommend them to anyone. not sure how i feel about most of it to be honest. #but certainly the writers who frequently focus on the exploitation of children and fascism and militarization in pursuit of empire #intended this work to be treated like it was more than a way to ship BL.... ? #but wow knowing sakamoto and hosono and koshi all did music for the play. mind blowing. PCHOW <- sound of my mind being blown #apparently the tokyo grand gu*gnol production of l*tchi h*kari club was MY ultimate theater experience. and i wasn't even there. sad!

[anothermonikan]

I think another one of my hottest anime-based takes is that no, Kawai is not 'Just as bad as Ueno' and it's kind of a weird take really? Like, Kawai is no saint, not by a long shot, she does deny she had any part in the bullying of Shouko and it is shown that that's wrong, she was complacent in the whole thing, she pins it all on Shoya, like yeah! I get that!

But I don't think Kawai hates Shouko. I don't think she ever really did, she just wanted to fit in with her peers like most children do, and yeah, that did cause her to be complacent and laugh at the bullying because that's what her friend group was doing, doesn't make it right but I think it's important to get that. She probably does genuinely think she didn't have a part in the bullying because it was never actively done, she was trying to fit in with her peers, don't forget they treated Sahara poorly as well for being friends with Shouko, I'm not gonna blame a kid for wanting to avoid that. She reads as if she genuinely doesn't realise the part she played in the bullying and because of that she is genuinely hurt and confused at the accusation. A Silent Voice doesn't really develop her character past it but Kawai is not as Irredemable as some of you make her seem.

Ueno hates Shouko, and she makes it very very clear that she hates Shouko. To everyone around her, to Shouko herself. She is still actively bullying Shouko when everyone else around her has moved on, hell, the first thing she does when she sees Shouko and Shoya together is attempt to take Shouka's hearing aids off her because she still thinks it's just fun and that Shoya will play along. She hates Shouko because she views her as the reason that Shoya lost all his friends, which is blatanty an untrue statement, Shoya lost his friends because he was a bully and no one wanted to be assosiated with him when it wasn't cool to be a bully anymore.

The ferris wheel scene. Is awful. It's the most emotionally charged scene to me. Ueno straight up tells Shouko that she's the problem and that the way she is is just a burden on everyone around her, she refuses to use Shouko's notebook to communicate like Shouko wants, and when Shouko expresses that she doesn't hate Ueno and that she hates herself, Ueno pushes her to the ground and yells at her that she's just the same as she was back in elementary, it is awful Ueno is fucking awful! After Shoya gets put in a coma saving Shouko, Ueno beats her up and yells at her about how everything that happened is all her fault, as if she literally didn't just try to commit suicide because she felt like a burden on the people around her.

I just. Don't get how you guys see 'Girl who was complacent in bullying who genuinely doesn't think she had a part in it and so deflects blame onto another person who had a bigger part' and 'Girl who literally goes out of her way to make an already depressed girl feel even worse about herself because she thinks that she shouldn't have to feel bad about being a bully' and went 'Yep! This are the exact same!' like.????

#In case this post breaks containment: Hi! I was pretty badly bullied as a child and I am not making excuses for bullies #I just really love this movie and don't understand this take. At all #This is my most rewatched anime I would... Like to think I have a pretty alright grasp on the characters? #Maybe Kawai was being intentionally deflective because she also feels like she shouldn't have to feel bad for bullying. #But she certainly doesn't come accross that way to me. And even if she is she still never did anything as bad as Ueno #I've never read the manga. This is an anime only take #I should read the manga really ehe #Sorry for writing a mini essay instead of sleeping. It will happen again #Sjsjsjs #A Silent Voice #Suicide mention #Android.txt