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noodyl-blasstal · 1 year

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Detective Delivery

Joyus Candlenights @v-for-venusaur I hope you have a wonderful Candlenights and enjoy!

And also thank you very much to @thecandlenightszone for organising the exchange!

Read Detective Delivery on A03 or below (but fair warning, it's over 7,000 words)

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There isn’t much time. Angus knows he has to be quick, they always notice when he’s not where he’s supposed to be. He’d think it was because they were onto him, but they’re always so concerned - as if he’s lost, or hurt, or upset and not rifling through their stuff. He didn’t imagine that smugglers would worry so much about his welfare, or play chess with him, or teach him how to bake cookies, but that was probably all part of their thing. One of the hardest lessons he had learned was that bad people didn’t always seem like bad people. The Starblaster crew were bad, they were smugglers, they were stealing. They were bad people doing a good job of hiding it.

Angus finds the crates easily. The illusion cube isn’t subtle - the dimensions of the room are all wrong. He disables the alarm quickly, it’s barely disguised in the loose panel on the wall, finger marks showing exactly where to push. There aren't any other security measures as far as he can see, so Angus walks confidently through the wall and immediately sees the crates he has been looking for. Now he just needs to confirm the cargo is what he thinks it is. The door to the hold hasn’t opened yet, he should have time.

The crates are squat and rectangular, heavily riveted with clawed clamps holding them closed along the edges. Circling the central one, the glow of a keypad catches his eye. Angus examines it briefly, it’s too obvious. There’s no way they would illuminate this, everything about this box is designed to stop it being opened. He works it out just as the door to the hold slides open.

“Angles?” It’s Mr Taako’s voice. Oh no. He doesn’t want to be in trouble.

“Ango?” And Dr Lup too. Probably the worst people to find him here, they sometimes looked at him sideways if he said something which might contradict his story. Not that he did that often. Not that they noticed enough to make him try to jump ship, but they weren’t easy like Ms Lucretia, or Dr Barry.

Angus ducks down behind the crate, they have no reason to think he’s in here. How would he have even made it into the hold? There was a code! How would he have the code? He’s just a little boy.

“He’s not here, Ko. Maybe he’s in the kitchen? You have cooking lessons today, right?” Lup says. Angus cringes, investigating first was a mistake. Maybe he could still make it in time to learn how to make ‘the most baller pancakes you’ll ever eat’ once he cracks the case? Just because they were criminals doesn’t mean he can’t learn some valuable skills. No one has ever had time to teach him to cook before; he has to get the most out of it before Taako goes to jail.

Angus breathes a sigh of relief as he hears the door slide open again and the twins’ footsteps retreat. Time to get his evidence. He peers at the glowing pad again, and, careful to avoid pressing it, twists the entire thing to the left - a small groove in the metal allows the shape to turn slightly. As he does it, he hears movement from the other side of the crate.

“Lost again, Agnes?” Taako’s lilting voice is casual as ever, but Angus hears his hip holster release. It’s probably time to run, but this is the best lead Angus has. It took nearly a year to find the ship, he isn’t going to give up now. He has a blaster for emergencies, and this definitely counts as one. Angus grabs it and reaches for the pad to spin it further, the box opening will tell Taako exactly where he is, but also hopefully surprise him enough to allow Angus to take the upper hand.

The alarm was a surprise. The crate definitely opens, Angus was correct, but he should have considered that there might be other safety features. Something to add to the post-investigation review. His gasp of surprise gives Taako his exact location, and Angus finds himself hoisted into the air by the front of his shirt. He hopes Taako hasn’t creased it too badly, Angus doesn’t have many clothes and it’s important to look presentable when he’s working.

“What did you do, and how do I make it not be doing that any more?” Shouts Taako over the screeching of the alarm.

Angus stays silent. He’s read books about resistance to interrogation, he’s even practiced with his blanket over his head and staying up for an extra day here and there (sure, when he was caught up in investigations, but it still counts).

“Angus? What are you doing in here?” Lup skids through the illusory wall.

“He’s stealing from us, Goofus. What does it look like?” Taako rolls his eyes at Lup, then turns back to Angus.

“How do we make it stop, Angles?”

Agnus thinks about the case very hard. If you have something to focus on it’s harder for someone to manipulate your thinking and convince you to share information with them.

“He really is your protégé.” Lup laughs.

“Good work on getting past the wall, Ango.”

“Don’t praise him!” Taako hisses.

“He’s only a baby and he figured it out, it’s important to acknowledge good work.” Lup replies, side eyeing Taako and making a face at Angus.

“I’m not a baby!” Angus protests. They kept saying it, but he was 10, nearly 11. He ran his own business! He wasn’t a baby, he was practically an adult. Wait… was this psychological torture? He wasn’t supposed to let it get under his skin… aw beans!

“Oh look, he found his voice! It was lost, but magically recovered to refuse to acknowledge the fact he’s a tiny baby who has no business being here.” Taako sets him down on top of the crate.

“Make it stop, Ango.” He snaps.

“You know, we were stealing stuff when we were his age, well, 70, but if you do the conversion to human years, it shakes out about the same.” Lup leans her elbow on Taako’s shoulder and looks to Angus.

“What’s in it anyway Ango? Contract says we can’t look and Dav makes us promise not to, but if you’ve already cracked it then it’s nothing to do with me. Be a shame to waste it.” She peers towards the crate. Angus almost believes her, almost, but of course they know what’s in the crates. They know exactly what they’re doing, who they’re stealing from, and who they’re stealing for. He jams his mouth shut again and tries to make it as obvious as possible that he won’t be helping them, without actually saying anything. He’s not going to make the same mistake twice.

“Stop encouraging him, Lup!” Taako says, nudging her with his elbow.

“It’s good to have an inquiring mind.” Lup says, and elbows him back. Angus debates whether this will devolve into another fight. He kind of hopes so, it’ll give him enough time to crack the lid, record the evidence, and run. He scoped out the small research ship on his first day aboard, and then Dr Barry gave him an extensive tour because he was always excited to show off his lab and the equipment they had. It was almost enough to convince Angus he wasn’t a hardened criminal, but he wasn’t going to be fooled again. It had taken him a long time to rebuild his stock of credits, even longer to find another hat he liked as much as the one they took.

The alarm is still blaring, Angus wants to try and stop it. The noise is overwhelming, but he doesn’t want to take his eyes off the twins. Taako is apparently stronger than he looks and Angus doesn’t want to get grabbed again. The decision is taken from him when a second alarm joins the crate’s wailing, followed by a jarring scraping noise.

“What the…” Is all Lup manages, before the hull doors buckle.

“Angus?” Taako asks.

Angus isn’t sure why Taako thinks this is anything to do with him. As if he has the ability to summon another ship. If he could do that he wouldn’t need transport, would he? As far as they know, that’s why he’s here. He’s obviously going to contact the militia, absolutely and definitely, but not yet. He still has to finish his science lessons with Barry, and Lucretia has really helped him with his drawing but he can still improve. Anyway, he can’t go until Merle shows him the hydroponic tanks properly - Angus still doesn’t know the names of all the fish.

“Attention Starblaster. Prepare to be boarded. A security alarm has notified us of a contractual breech. An investigation will begin immediately.” The tinny announcement pipes from the ship’s speaker system, barely audible over the various alarms.

“Angus, fix it!” Lup hisses. She’s serious for the first time, face paling visibly.

Taako looks scared too. Maybe Angus went too far? He didn’t mean to call the militia down on them… yet. He was going to do that, in the future, probably, not right now.

“I don’t know how.” He breaks his silence. It seems worth it for this. Angus feels like crying. He doesn’t want to cause problems, he wants to solve them, and he’s so close, so so close. Why didn’t he consider internal security? It was a careless error. This might be just as bad for him as it was for them. If the militia ask who he is… if the crew tell them what Angus said… Oh no. He turns the pad back to the starting position.

“Maybe this will do it.” He says as nothing happens.

“Angus. Fix it.” Taako looks furious.

Angus wants to. He wants to so hard, and maybe if he just closes his eyes, summons up all of his resolve and hopes really hard he can do it. He wishes and wishes and the alarm screams and screams and he has to admit it was a bit of a long shot.

“I can’t. I’m sorry, Sir. I want to, I do.”

Taako’s face softens slightly.

“We’ll figure it out, Pumpkin.” He says, moving to crouch next to Angus as the hull screams more and the doors shudder.

Angus felt better momentarily, then realises what Taako is doing, he won’t be lulled into a false sense of security again.

“We wouldn’t need to figure it out if you weren’t all criminals!” Angus doesn’t mean it to sound so aggressive, it’s a statement of fact after all, but his voice is full of the acid he feels when he thinks about how many children the money would help. There are alarms and noise and everything is horrible and it’s all because of their choices.

“Criminals? Oh, so that’s what you think of ol’ Taako and Lup? We’re good enough to teach you how to cook and make fires and do handstands, but you’re just judging us? If it weren’t for us being ‘criminals’ you wouldn’t be getting home to your Grandfather for Candlenights, would you? Why exactly would the Ambassador to the Astral Empire be using the Starblaster to take his precious Grandson home if we were criminals?” Taako asks, looking offended. Angus almost feels bad… almost. He had to lie to them, otherwise they wouldn’t have taken him. It was their own fault that they didn’t look into the letter any further. How often did someone show up with a letter and a stick of credits to ask them to do a job anyway? Surely it should have rang some kind of alarm bell. And the stuff they taught him to do? They chose that. It wasn’t Angus’ fault that they wanted to show him, he was always happy to learn. Plus, it isn’t fair to judge people either. Sometimes people do crimes and that doesn’t mean they aren’t people, they’re just people who also probably have to go to prison, so they may as well teach him some cool stuff first.

“Sir, I… He… that’s not important right now.” Angus can’t think of what to say. It’s probably time for him to explain that he knows their game, that he understands what they’ve been doing.

“I know what you’ve been doing.” Angus tries to glare, he’s not sure how convincing it is.

“Are you okay, little man?” Lup asks, concern in her voice.

“You’re squinting. Is there something in your eye?”

“Stop looking after me, you don’t care about orphans do you? You’re the ones taking the funds from us!” Angus says. He has to push back, he can’t get used to this; can’t adjust to having someone to watch his back and think about his feelings and wash out his eye if he gets something in it. He’s going to be alone again soon.

“We’re doing fucking what now, sorry?” Says Taako, outrage clear in his voice.

“Stealing from who?” Lup says at the same time.

Angus opens his mouth to answer, to tell them he doesn’t believe their surprise, how could they not know what they were doing? He’s interrupted by the hull doors buckling one last time and screeching open. Four heavily armoured militia stride into the ship, seemingly unaffected by the illusory wall, they level their blasters at Angus and the twins. The alarm from the box finally stops blaring.

“Drop your weapons and stand down.” The voice filters through the heavy black helmet, all traces of accent or personality lost. Angus peers curiously at the red tinted visor, but nothing is visible through it. He usually deals with the more palatably humanoid side of the militia.

“This is all a misunderstanding, the kid opened it by accident.” Lup says casually, jabbing a thumb at Angus.

“No nefarious intent. We’ll just seal it back up and be on our way.”

“The child opened the crate?” The same tinny voice comes from a different helmet.

“Yeah, just kids being kids, you know how it is.” Lup smiles. Angus feels something tighten in his stomach, he can’t read the emotions in their voices, but their body language isn’t indicating that they plan to stand down. If anything, they’re more focused on him.

“No.” They reply in sync.

“Hand over the criminal you have apprehended and we will reseal the crate so you may continue the delivery.” Says one stepping forwards, holstering their blaster and reaching for Angus.

“Absolutely not!” Says Lup at the same time Taako shrugs and grabs Angus again. Surely they weren’t actually going to hand him over? They’d been so kind to him, and Lup said no. If Lup said no then it definitely wouldn’t be happening.

“Okay, here you go.” Taako says evenly.

“Taako!” Lup kicks him.

“We’re not handing over the kid.”

“He was my apprentice Lup. I, Taako, the best chef this side of the Astral Empire was sharing my skills. I let him into my kitchen! He was my apprentice and he tried to steal from us. I was going to give him the good recipes.” Taako says.

“I can’t believe I fell for this again.” Taako sounds hurt. Angus didn’t mean for Taako to be hurt.

“Ko, it’s not the same.” Lup says gently and pulls him back.

“Now get down.” With that, she’s launching a ball of what Angus could swear is fire from her blaster. It slams into the foremost of the militia, shoves them backward, leaves a large hole punched in the front of their armour. Angus tries not to stare too long at the mix of blistered wires and charred flesh he sees there.

“Lulu, what the fuck?” Taako screeches as he dives behind the crate, pulling Angus with him and covering him. Angus isn’t thinking too hard about the fact Taako’s protecting him with his literal body right now despite apparently being willing to hand him over a few seconds ago.

“Are you trying to die? Taako did not sign up for a space rebellion today. Did you look at my calendar? Is “fight space police and die about it” in there for today? No. No it fucking isn’t.”

The ship alarm stops. The others must be doing something… or the militia ship has overtaken the systems, but Angus hopes that’s not the case. As much as he trusts the legal process, he technically did open the crate… and lie about his identity… Which is attempted theft, fraud, and transport under false pretences. He’s technically still registered to the orphanage. This could be bad. He starts trying to worm his way out, maybe he can make a break for it while they’re distracted? Although, now Lup’s going to be in trouble for trying to protect him… but she’s a criminal, he shouldn’t care! But, Angus is a criminal… no, he was doing what he did for good reasons, he had to do it to solve the real crime, her crime.

“Right Angus…” Lup fires twice and ducks behind the crate too.

“What’s this about orphans?”

“Lup, is this really the time?” Taako presses himself around Angus more firmly as the wall above them sparks and shudders from the militia returning fire.

“We’ll be done with this soon.” Lup replies, confidently.

“Backup will be here any second.” She winks at Angus whose head is barely visible under Taako’s armpit.

“Now Ango, you need to tell us what’s going on.”

“You know what’s going on, Dr Lup.” He says resolutely. He refuses to get caught up in mind games, in Lup pretending she doesn’t know.

“Angus, we’re specialist freight delivery. We don’t ask too many questions, yeah, but it’s to help people like you and your Grandfather. Why the fuck would we want to hurt kids?” Lup looks so earnest, so confused, but Angus knows the answer.

“Money.” He says, and tries not to feel guilty as hurt flashes across Lup’s face.

The militia are nearly on them now. Lup fires a few more shots, Taako springs up to cover her, then straight back over Angus as fire is returned.

“Agatha, apologise right now. We raised you better than this. She’s out here fighting space police for you and you’re going to thank her by accusing her of murdering orphans and eating their skin? She just shot a dude to save your accusation wielding butt.” Taako huffs.

Angus debates refusing, but he can’t really argue with the logic… well, some of it. The important bits.

“Sorry Dr Lup.” He mutters.

She winks and pops up to shoot again just as the opening bars of Thunderstruck blare out of the ship’s speakers at full volume.

“Cavalry’s here.” She says as she ducks back down, barely avoids the blast which grazes the top of the crate.

“Taako, your side.”

Angus feels himself shoved to Lup as Taako rolls sideways, fires, and rolls back, grabbing him again.

“Magnus!” Comes a yell from the doorway. Cavalry’s here indeed, Angus can’t help but smile. Statistically it’s highly unlikely that the crew will lose, the militia clearly weren’t expecting this level of resistance. Angus tries not to think about whether everyone on the crew is actually registered as being on board; that information isn’t relevant to his case. There’s a volley of shots, and several loud thuds. Angus tries to wriggle free and look, he wants to make sure it’s the militia falling, not his friends… wait, the suspects. Taako holds him firm.

“Taako’s not gonna let you get hurt, Pumpkin. They’ll be okay. We’ve had worse.” Taako’s voice is calm, well, as calm as it ever gets. Angus wants to ask about the ‘worse’, but it probably isn’t the time.

“I can’t believe he chose fucking AC/DC. He always forgets that it’s not as cool after the intro.”

“Maybe he thought it’d be done by the time it got past that bit?” Angus suggests, muffled against Taako’s arm.

“He doesn’t plan, doesn’t think about the what ifs and the maybes and how long it might take to murder four highly trained space operatives. It’s all “Magnus!” and “Thunder!”” Taako shakes his head.

Another thud and the fire stops. Taako springs to his feet, still holding Angus.

“It’s okay, Ko. We’re good, you can put him down.” Lup nudges his shoulder and nods at the corpses.

“Although, maybe we should cover his eyes?” She adds, a frown crossing her face.

Angus rolls his eyes and wriggles free.

“Dr Lup, I’m a professional.” He pretends not to hear Taako’s loud snort as he strides over to the bodies, he should probably listen to what the crew are talking about, they could be getting their alibi straight, but honestly, Angus has bigger questions. As much as he’d boarded the ship convinced that the Starblaster was behind the thefts, it seemed less and less likely. Why would the militia come because of a crate alarm? Was the Starblaster being tracked?

The armour doesn’t appear to have pockets, Angus isn’t surprised, but was hoping for something. There had to be a clue. Any evidence was probably on their ship.... Their ship which was right there.

“Captain Davenport, was anyone left on their ship?” Angus shouts up, tearing himself away from the corpse.

The crew stops whispering and they turn to look at him. Merle gives an over exaggerated wave, but Lucretia pushes his hand down.

“Angus…” Begins the captain, gently.

“...do you think we’re stealing from the orphanage?”

“Yes.” Says Angus quickly. Then hesitates.

“Well, I did… because you are. Open the box, you’ll see it’s full of the latest donation to the fund. They never make it to the orphanage, because you take them somewhere else instead.”

Mr Magnus looks like he might cry.

It’s Dr Barry who strides over to the crate. The alarm is still wailing, but barely. He pulls the lid away, and stamps the siren until it falls silent, and then a few more times for good measure.

“He’s right.” Barry says.

The argument that breaks out is impossible to follow, and Angus doesn’t see the point in trying. They clearly don’t know what’s going on. Instead, he goes to investigate the hull doors where the militia boarded. He listens hard, no immediate sign of reinforcements. It would be pointless to get arrested now after everything, but he isn’t going to solve this without taking risks.

_________________________________

Taako is going to kill the kid, but he has to keep him alive long enough to do it, so when Angus slips away Taako has to follow. Not because he cares, obviously, just for practicality’s sake. They should be making pancakes right now, now starting Space War VI. They’d all promised to never be involved in another inciting incident after last time but apparently Lup just couldn’t help herself. It isn’t like he was actually going to hand the kid over, it just seemed like a good way to kill time until the others got there, but apparently Lup’s twin telepathy only applied to bullying him and not realising that he wasn’t about to indirectly throw a kid in prison.

It isn’t difficult to keep up but Taako hangs back, Angus is self sufficient most of the time. Anyway, he doesn’t really want to talk to the tiny backstabber right now. Taako showed him how to make the good cookies, and this was how he repaid him? Trying to get him thrown in jail? It’s the circle of life, the apprentice rises up to try and kill the master, but Taako isn’t so easy to usurp, Angus won’t take him out so easily. He’s been preparing for years baby, fool him once, shame on Taako, fool him twice? It simply isn’t going to happen. False accusations are nothing new, that’s why they definitely don’t hurt any more. Taako doesn’t care what anyone thinks.

Angus is thorough, stopping into each room he comes across. Taako tries not to feel too smug about how badly the kid would have struggled with his room - keeping things messy is a security measure. No one can tell him different. It’s definitely nothing to do with how hard it is to put things away. Nope nope nope.

Lup and Magnus appear either side of him without warning. Taako tries very hard not to shriek as loudly as he would like to when Magnus whispers “Magnus!” in his ear.

“Sssh.” Taako hisses, as quietly as possible.

“Are you having a feeling again, Koko? Compelled to look after your baby boy?” Lup whispers and wiggles her eyebrows. Taako debates whether Angus will notice if he shoots her with his blaster, just on the zappy setting, he isn’t feeling that murdery. Honest.

“Shhh.” He repeats.

“In fact,” she continues, “this is the opposite of “out here” which I believe I may have heard you mention is the place you prefer to be.” She gives a shit eating grin.

Taako’s hand drifts to his blaster, just a small zap, a teeny tiny one.

As Lup opens her mouth to continue making ridiculous accusations Taako shoves her and Magnus back round the corner. Angus is on the move again.

They track him quietly down the corridor, engaging in the second quietest slappy fight of their career. Magnus occasionally intercedes to avoid alerting Angus.

“Taako.” Magnus hisses.

“Sssh,” says Taako, poking Lup in the ribs.

“Taako!” Magnus whispers again, sounding more urgent.

“Lup.” He adds, tugging her back as she steps on Taako’s boot.

“Sssh!” Taako repeats.

“Agnes will…”

“Hear you, Sir?” Says Angus.

Taako tenses and barely muffles a cry of surprise.

“Jeezy creezy Agnes! You try to get me arrested and now you just straight up try to kill me?” Taako shouldn’t have come. He should have left the baby to go do his big brain bullshit with the militia ship alone and unguarded because apparently he hates Taako and wants to make sure he’s dead - be it from prison food, getting fucking shot, or shock.

“I knew you were following me the whole time, Sir.” The kid has the audacity to roll his eyes. Taako wonders how difficult it would be to uncouple the ship with Lup and Agnes on it. They’d be fine, probably.

“But I thought you should all know at least two more of the militia are still on board.” Angus smiles at them as if he expects a pat on the head. As if anyone’s gonna congratulate him for…

“Well done, Ango!” Says Magnus enthusiastically.

“How did you work that out?”

“It was simple, Sir!” Angus glows with pride and Taako glares at Magnus, then takes a quick mental holiday during the explanation. Wah wah wah, amount of rooms, mih mih mih, clock in sheet.

“So we have to kill two more super soldiers who are probably on high alert and ready to murder us super hard?” Taako asks, interrupting the end of Angus’ unreasonably detailed explanation.

“Bet I can kill mine faster than you.” Says Lup to Magnus.

“Nuh uh!” He protests, about to take off running. Taako grabs him.

“Woah woah woah. Chaboy has a notion, just a little idea, something off the wall, but how about we come up with some kind of plan? I know. I know. Ridiculous. But what if, and hear me out, what if we knew which direction we were going and whether we knew about any specific weaknesses, or… or… we regrouped and got the others to help us too? Barold has that gnarly death ray.” Taako watches Magnus’ face fall as he speaks. Oh, the crushing weight of not rushing in, poor Magnus, how he suffers.

“That’s a really great idea Sir. There’s two of them, and you’re going that way.” Angus points towards the corridor ahead from which clanking steps echo.

“I’m afraid it might be a bit late for the other bits, but I think their weakness was being shot a lot with your blasters. Anyway, I’m going to hide in here, good luck!” Angus ducks into the room nearby. Well shit.

Magnus glances into the room and dives in too, Taako knows he's not running away and abandoning them to the fight, but he can't help the brief flicker of panic. But even if Magnus did run, he and Lup would be fine, they've got this.

The twins level their weapons at the corner as the approaching steps speed up. Maybe mildly hysterical yelling wasn't the best stealth decision. Taako ignores the impulse to grab Lup and run, he knows she'll fight him every step of the way and never forgive him even if he could win that strength contest. Anyway, the nerd needs to stay alive long enough to get taught Taako’s second best pancake recipe (two can play at betrayal, Angus!)

Taako fires too soon, he knows it the second before the shot hits empty air and the footsteps stop. Fuck. Taako shoves Lup through the open doorway as the Militia return fire. He feels the tell-tale sting on his thigh, not quite fast enough; but Lup’s okay, Angus is safe, Magnus is here. It’s not worth mentioning, probably cauterised itself anyway, he can still walk… kind of, if he just shuffles his jacket they won’t know.

“So what’s the plan?” Magnus asks, keeping his voice low, and shooting blind down the corridor.

“Not getting fucking shot.” Taako replies, grabbing the back of his shirt and pulling him back. His leg twinges, but holds.

“We lost the element of surprise, but there’s still three of us.” Lup says. Taako isn’t sure whether to admire her, or try to tackle her. If she gets herself shot over this kid he’s going to do something about it, definitely something, yelling probably. Fuck his thigh hurts.

“Four of us, Dr Lup.” Says Angus, peering out from below the bunk in the corner.

“I brought my blaster.”

Magnus shakes free of Taako’s grasp and offers Angus a hand to help him slide out.

“Ready?”

“Absolutely not.” Says Taako, firing his own blaster down the corridor, careful to angle his leg away from the others, retreating before the answering fire can catch him again.

“The baby isn’t allowed a gun.”

“I’m not a baby!” Says Angus.

“We need everyone we can get right now.” Magnus adds.

“You can stay at the back.” Says Lup. Only Taako picks up on the slight wobble in her voice.

“Lup?” He asks quietly, he’s not sure why she’s letting this happen.

“We’ll keep him safe, he won’t have to shoot, but if we leave him out he’ll make his own plans.” She mutters to Taako, and yeah. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Angles won’t be told no, that’s for fucking sure.

“Fine, baby in the back.” Taako says loudly.

“I’m not a b…” Begins Angus, a shot glances off the side of the door. Those bastards, are they trying to do trick shots? It’s not a game of fucking pool.

This time, Taako doesn’t grab Magnus as he runs to the door.

“Still just the two, one’s hanging back as cover, the other’s advancing.” A shot hits the side of the door where Magnus had peered out.

“Looks like they’ve figured out the angles.”

“How about heights? Can we do anything with that?” Lup asks.

“I’m tall.” Magnus says, helpfully. Taako glares up at him.

“Mr Magnus, Sir. Why don’t we use the desk as a shield, it’s extremely sturdy. It’s bolted to the floor, but I think you should be able to…” Angus stops talking as Magnus rips the desk out of the floor.

“...loosen the bolts.” Angus finishes.

“Everyone behind me?” Magnus asks. Taako hopes the desk will actually fit through the door. At least Magnus is holding it upright and not sideways. Taako sweeps Angus behind him and gets into position behind Lup.

“You’re sure the desk is gonna be sturdy enoug…” Lup starts to ask as Magnus advances.

“I certainly hope so.” Mutters Angus behind him.

The desk takes the first volley easily, after the third it begins buckling. Well fuck.

“Go time.” Yells Magnus over the fire and starts fucking sprinting. Taako hopes that no one hears his pained whimpers over the protesting metal and sparking explosions. He can’t do too much of this.

The first impact is satisfying. Taako isn’t sure how you miss a fucking table barrelling towards you at speed, but maybe they didn’t anticipate that it was just gonna keep rolling straight for them? Did they think the Starblaster crew were just going to stop and duel? They deserved it. Magnus lifts the table slightly.

“One down, watch out underfoot and keep him down, Lup.”

Magnus kicks out as the armoured figure tries to right themselves, fells them again, and Lup drops back briefly. Two short blasts denote that it’s done. Taako glances at Angus, he didn’t see phased by the bodies in the hull, but it was different seeing the aftermath.

“They were trying to kill us, Sir.” Angus says without looking up. Rude. Taako didn’t give him permission to read his mind.

“Table isn’t gonna hold, I have another plan.” Says Magnus as Lup slots back into formation.

“What are you…” Lup doesn’t finish her sentence before Magnus launches the table down the corridor. A second thunk implying it found its mark.

“...thinking.” Lup finishes.

The table falls short, trapping only their legs. Taako and Lup pull up their blasters to fire, but Angus is quicker than both of them, firing a stun into the gap between the helmet and neck armour.

“I thought you might want to ask one of them what is going on, but feel free to finish the job if you don’t need to. The stun isn’t very effective on cyborgs, so you’ll need to grab them quickly.”

“On it.” Magnus lunges forward.

“They won’t need these.” He says, and grabs an arm. Taako feels sick, there’s definitely a robot/people line for these things and Magnus has apparently smashed right through it. Lup looks back at him with wide eyes and side eyes Angus a few times.

“Right Pumpkin, let's go find the rest of the super secret documents.” Taako shoves Angus forwards, past the horror show Magnus is creating.

“It’s okay, Sir, I’ve seen worse you know.” Angus shouldn’t sound so calm right now.

“Oh so you’ve got time to spend watching Mangus rip someone’s arms off, but you didn’t have a few moments to get back up before you came onto an enemy ship?” Taako keeps walking, hopefully Angus will follow, he isn’t in the mood to watch what Magnus is doing right now… Maybe Lup can talk him down.

“Yes Sir, you’re right Mr Taako. We should go and find evidence. I think we might be able to clear your names.” Angus skips forwards as a horrifying ripping sound comes from behind them, followed by a firm “Magnus no! That’s people!” from Lup. Taako focuses really hard on singing the jingle for HoloPans! in his head, just in case.

In the cockpit he leaves Angus to his own devices. It’s like releasing a bucket of spiders into a room but the kid’s every spider and he’s in one place and is also all of the spiders at the same time, just without the extra legs, probably, or does he have more than two? Taako is fine, is the thing. He’s fine and he doesn’t need to look at his leg, but he is going to have a little sit down because it has been a big day and he deserves it.

“You didn’t do it, Sir.” Angus is tugging Taako’s jacket. Taako doesn’t know why, he isn’t asleep.

“I know I didn’t do it, Agnes. Which is what I’ve been telling you since you accused me. If I recall correctly, Lup told you too, and Magnus, and Barry, and everyone fucking else. Mostly, because we didn’t do it.” Taako isn’t defensive about this. Definitely not. He just likes to be thorough when explaining things.

“Suspects don’t usually confess immediately, Sir. I had to check. But now I know, and I can show the militia that too.” Angus says brightly.

“Uh huh.” Says Taako, giving Angus a moment to catch up.

“I can’t tell the militia can I, Sir?” He says, quietly.

“Nope!” Taako pops the P.

“Probably not best to let them know that: Good news! The Starblaster crew didn’t do it, we just killed five…ish of your scary tech soldiers to prove it, also you did it so arrest yourselves!”

“How did you…?” Angus looks slightly offended.

“Work out it was them?” Taako asks. Angus nods.

“Who else was it gonna be? Big scary Astral Empire with its big scary space force. Never trust authority, kid.” Taako throws up a peace sign and definitely doesn’t list sideways, Taako’s good.

“They were switching out the donations before they even got to the orphanage. Then they put trackers in the boxes and tail you to make sure you don’t open them and don't ask any questions. They keep tabs on your trips, but don’t do the job themselves so they can pin it on you if they ever need to.” Angus pauses and focuses on Taako with a frown.

“Is the wound worse than you thought, Mr Taako?” Angus asks, looking directly into his fucking soul.

“What’re you talking about, Agnes?” Taako’s cool as a cucumber, a really cold one, straight from the freezer, terrible texture, great for black eyes.

“You got hit, Sir.” Says Angus softly.

“Nuh uh.” Replies Taako, got him. Can’t refute that. Now it’s time for a nap! Winners get to sleep.

____________________________________

Awareness comes back slowly, but he can see brown skin and a white topknot bobbing about beside him.

“Merle?” Taako croaks.

“Decided to re-join us have you?” Merle grouses.

“It’s Candlenights, and here I am, busting my ass, trying to make sure you don’t shuffle off the mortal coil.”

“Tell Lup to put more salt in the mashed potatoes, she never uses enough.” Taako says as his eyelids grow heavy again.

______________________________________

This time, the noise wakes him. He grumbles and tosses his head, but nothing’s blocking out what sounds like fucking Margharetiaville being stop-start jabbed out on the piano and then echoed on a violin. Are they seriously trying to figure this arrangement out right now? Why isn’t he in the med bay? Who the fuck is thumping on his brain? No wait, that’s Angus, Angus is thumping on his good Tupperware with his olive wood spoons.

“Those aren’t drums!” Taako tries to get up, realises it’s a losing battle and flops back onto the chair.

“Told you that’d do it.” Says Angus smugly and smiles up at Lup and Barry.

Barry pats him on the back and slips him some chocolate.

“Good one bud, you win.”

“Guh?” Says Taako, wisely.

“Thought we’d Weekend at Bernies you so you didn’t miss out on the entirety of Candlenights, brother mine. It wasn’t the same without you” Lup flops down on the sofa beside him.

“Wanna see the photos? We really thought you’d wake up during the doughnut sandwiches, but you can catch it next year. Lup grabs a stack of photos from the table and flicks through to one with Taako slumped in a chair wearing a pair of doughnut deely boppers while everyone else cheers together doughnut sandwiches dripping peanut butter.

“Glad you’re back with us.”

“I… you? Urgh.” Everything hurts and Taako’s brain feels like it’s brimming with soup, the kind that you could stand a spoon up in. Good for bread, terrible for thinking.

“I think you might need to explain what happened, Dr Lup.” Angus wriggles his way onto the sofa too, and Barry slides on beside Lup.

“Once upon a time…” Says Barry.

“There was a beautiful elf,” Adds Lup.

“And her brother Taako, who was just fine.”

Taako groans.

“I need you to know that I would be storming out right now if my leg worked.” He prods Lup in the ribs and is pleased to get a gigglesnort in reply.

“So I got shot.”

“You got shot, bud.” Says Barry.

“And then?”

“You went into shock, then you got an infection, because you can’t do anything and not be dramatic about it.” Lup says, grinning at him. Taako resists the impulse to huff and prove her right. It’s fine to be expressive.

“Then you decided to drag me to meals while I was passed out?” He asks.

“Not just meals, we also just used you to scare Magnus a lot.” Barry says.

Taako snorts, to be fair, Magnus had it coming after the last 3 years of trying to ‘prepare them for anything’.

“Ms Lucretia read to you.” Angus says soothingly.

“And Merle…”

“Please don’t finish that sentence if it involves plants.” Taako cuts him off, not wanting to hear about what level of flirting and or heavy petting may have gone on next to him while he couldn’t make it stop.

“Captain Davenport ordered you not to die!” Angus’ change of direction tells Taako everything he needs to know about Merle’s conduct.

“That’s good of him.” Taako says, trying very hard to pretend he’s not crying. He isn’t, obviously, his eyes are just watering because they’re not used to being open apparently.

“Magnus reworked some of his robot arm collection into a spare leg in case you needed it.” Lup grins at him.

“It’s as horrifying as you imagine.”

“Speaking of his collection…?” Taako doesn’t want to say more, he’s not sure if he actually wants to know the answer.

“I didn’t let him.” Lup says quickly.

“He understood… eventually.”

“And why are you still here, kid?” Taako asks.

“I thought we needed to get you home for Candlenights.”

“I still have a pancake recipe to learn, Sir.” Angus says, smiling brightly.

Taako stares very hard at the ceiling.

“Okay cool.” He flops back onto the chair and closes his eyes. If he passes out again no one can ask him any questions about how he may or may not feel.

New voices approach and Taako stays resolutely still.

“Oh no, you just missed Taako. He’s definitely absolutely passed out again. I suppose we can at least try and get the perspective picture that looks like he’s on top of the candlenights bush. Do you want to hold him up, Magnus? Unless of course, he is awake and wants to talk about his feelings?” Lup directs the last bit of the sentence into Taako’s ear. Taako plays dead. There’s no way he’s giving up that easily.

_____________________________________________

Taako frames the picture of the 8 of them gathered round the bush. Magnus stood to the side, dangling Taako by his collar in the general direction of the bush, nowhere near the top. Lup and Barry are throwing up peace signs, Dav salutes formally, Lucretia looks vaguely worried, and Merle is uncomfortably close to the greenery. Angus sits happily in the middle of the frame, his smile bright enough to distract from the chaos around him.

#Candlenights 2022 #TAZ Fic #TAZ Balance #Angus McDonald #Taako Tacco #Did this get slightly out of hand? Maybe #Taako would rather play dead while Magnus hoists him than admit to having affection for anyone or anything #Everyone may have gone mildly feral - as a treat #Noodyl Writes #TW for background non-canon character death #TW for Magnus getting overzealous with his robot arm proclivity #TW mild violence #Feel free to message and ask about the content if you're concerned

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