#early post-ts kills me

[beanghostprincess]

Sanji and Usopp during The Sabaody Incident™ won't leave my mind.

Usopp standing in front of Sanji protectively because he is wounded and he can't fight, so Usopp will do it for him ("I'll do what you can't do").

There is just something about Sanji's expression when he realizes he might actually lose Usopp. This is my interpretation, at least. He is literally frightened.

Usopp helping Sanji stand up to run away. This is crucial for something I want to point out later: Sanji needs help to stand up. (Also, Brook disappears trying to protect them both and saying he will do anything to save them even if it costs him his life. I am feeling sick).

Sanji being self-sacrificing and blaming himself for not being able to protect them/act sooner is not new. But he does manage to gain the strength to fight when Usopp is the only one left with him and the possibility of losing him is even more real now.

The thing that I love the most about this is not Sanji sacrificing himself for Usopp, because he does that. He is like that. But Usopp not running away or moving in the slightest because he refuses to leave Sanji on his own.

Something I'd like to point out too is that Sanji actually touches Kuma before Usopp disappears. He tries to fight and protect him and Kuma could've easily sent Sanji to Momoiro Island right away, and yet Sanji was just sent flying far from the scene and forced to see Usopp disappear in front of him.

And I am not saying that "not being able to protect both Brook and Usopp (especially Usopp) is needed for Sanji to realize he has to become stronger and find more reasons to go back with the crew" but not being able to protect both Brook and Usopp (especially Usopp) is needed for Sanji to realize he has to become stronger and find more reasons to go back with the crew.

Not to mention that we can't deny (right after Water 7/Enies Lobby) that Usopp is one of Sanji's strongest bonds within the crew. This specific scene focusing on them both is more than enough to prove it.

Sanji seeing Usopp disappear in front of his eyes without being able to do anything to save him.

Remember what I said about Sanji needing help to stand up seconds ago? Well. This is him the moment Usopp disappears. What adrenaline and the power of love do to a mf.

They are so "I can lose everything, but not you. Oh God, not you" shaped.

#sorry for bringing up sabaody i am sure nobody wants to think about it #but they mean the world to me and there is SO MUCH to unpack #we don't talk enough about this i think ????? #sanji spending two whole years having nightmares about not being able to save usopp. about seeing usopp disappearing in front of him #he still has them btw #sanji having to sleep with usopp post-ts because he is afraid of waking up and seeing he is gone #also i am having thoughts about brook protecting them and #and brook saying he will do anything to save them #because sanji has only heard that from zeff so......... so just thinking. i have thoughts. i told you brook is one of sanji's father figure #back to sanuso- thinking about how this whole scene despite having brook too is mainly focused on both sanji and usopp #thinking abt how the others disappear mostly focusing only on luffy's reactions but this emphasizes a lot sanji's attempts to save usopp #why would you give them a whole scene i am throwing up #sorry still thinking abt sanji apologizing to usopp for not being able to protect him or #or having nightmares he definitely has nightmares about it #and usopp just. staying with him and making him see that he is alright now. and letting him cry. #early post-ts kills me #still angry we don't have almost post-ts sanuso #i might start crying thinking abt them so it'll be better if just shut up and post this #one piece #black leg sanji #usopp #sanuso #sabaody

[starlooove]

My batfam gender sexuality hcs 🥰🥰🥰🥰:

Bruce: cishet he/him

Dick: cishet he/him

Jason: cishet he/him

Tim: cishet he/him

Steph: butch lesbian to ME! She/her but she’s trying out she/they and doesn’t know how to feel. Might fuck with neos but she’s not ready to take that step yet.

Cass: think early on in accepting that she’s a human being she’d psychoanalyze the fuck outta herself to see where she fits in and be super super super pressed about the entire thing to a detrimental point but as she progresses she’ll be fine. Lesbian, and she’s pretty sure she’s a girl most of the time sure 😄.

Duke: I think he knew he was not straight since he was young (moonlight opened his eyes and broke his heart) but he never really questioned his sexuality at all. The problem is that he doesn’t question it because the idea of gender roles (girls do this. Boys do that.) is so engrained in his mind that it’s not even something he thinks can be changed, if that makes sense? Anyways I don’t think he’s the type to get dysphoria he moreso experiences euphoria when exploring his gender identity. I think he would realize he has different views on his own gender when he sees other people expressing their own differently. Like genuinely he goes to school and sees another boy wearing lipstick and his brain blows up. As of this very moment he’s “exploring” but he’s actually a lil scared to genuinely confront himself about this and uses “there’s bigger problems in the world” to get out of it. End goal is non-binary but for now he’s at the veeeeeeery tail end of questioning.

Damian: I think at the moment Damian’s just not thinking about any of that but it’s in the opposite of duke; he knows he’s probably some kind of queer, both in sexuality and gender, but it’s just. Not top priority for him at the moment. I wanna bring up clothes rq bc, extra hc time, in MY mind Damian does express himself a lot through his clothing and getting to the manor made him a bit shy when it came to skirts and dresses. Seeing the way boys, and especially black and brown boys, who explore their femininity are treated, he just doesn’t mention it at all and the scenario never comes up. He gets more comfortable as time goes on though and later on gets bold enough to wear a dress to an event. He’s stonefaced but slightly regretting it till some younger kid sees him and is awe stricken, like stars in his eyes and asking if he can do that too. Damian feels better about it and resolves to wear whatever he wants more often. I don’t think he ever comes out in big big way (he’d tell the people closest to him but everyone else can just figure it out) but he genuinely doesn’t feel the need to label himself at all.

#the way y’all do Duke and Damián in these hc posts…. #Steph I wanted more for you truly but sorry ur unfortunately white #u get more than the boys but today ain’t about you 💔 #I WILL say buzzcut steph true #and she’s black in MY mind so in MY mind stud steph true #Cass I have a lot of thoughts about #like for me early on in her lil suicidal era I think she’d find the whole labelling thing complicated and stupid #but surface level deep inside she likes that idea of community but she doesn’t think she deserves it and it burns her #post trying to kill herself with Bruce’s full support #she throws herself into the idea of this community but she kinda like. wants a good grade in being queer as opposed to truly exploring- #-herself. comes to head when she just breaks like crying screaming throwing up and Steph is like ‘why do you even wanna do ts anyways’ #and cass doesn’t have an answer #she starts looking inwards and kinda. sets it up as a yes/no question tree for herself and lands with knowing she’s a lesbian but nothing #really concrete about her gender and she’s actually ok with that #imo she ends up with mirror pronouns #as in whatever you call yourself you can call her #I want it to be that earlier she was suffocating herself for others approval but now she’s allowing for vulnerability in a way that serves #her and her alone. this is in the tags and not the post bc y’all are actually pretty ok when it comes to cass in them hcs. #and I wanted the main focus to be on the black and brown boys since y’all always do them dirty 🙃 #and just to be mean #Bruce wayne #tim Drake #dick Grayson #Jason Todd #Duke Thomas #damian wayne #cassandra cain #Stephanie brown #btw bringing back my Joey soft adopting damian agenda: damian absolutely made sure Damian knew he could do whatever he wants. Damian’s not- #-used to feeling hesitant about this kinda thing but he’s double embarrassed and joey says he’ll wear the damn thing with him. he does

[lizzybeth1986]

Hana and Madeleine: When You Reward Your Favourite Bully with One of Her Victims

Series - TRR's Alternative LIs: The "Romances" That Didn't Happen

Previous - Maxwell and Penelope: When You Like the Side Character So Much, You Gift Her A Shiny New LI

A/N1: Apologies, again, for the length of this. There was so much damn retconning to wade through that it felt like a rollercoaster to write. There is also not going to be a lot of Hana in this, as I needed to unravel so many inconsistencies in Madeleine's writing. I also didn't want this to become a repeat of my essay series on Hana (which you can read here).

CW: Descriptions of bullying and intimidation, as well as dismissiveness of the same both in canon and from fandom. A mention of the 'infertility' plotline written for Hana in TRH1. Mentions of parental abuse and neglect.

In every other essay in this series, it's been important for me to analyse the potential of the pairings TRR went for. No matter how badly PB handled them later on, one could find promise in the possibilities of these pairings, and if written well they could result in a sweet, happy ending for the LIs we didn't marry. With a better sense of balance from the writers and less vitriol and double standards (in some cases) from the fandom, they could have worked.

Not so for this pairing.

In the case of Hana and Madeleine,it would have been far far better if this pairing had never happened at all. The problem wasn't just in the development; the roots of such a pairing itself were rotten.

(White) Female Antagonists

Before I delve into the characters involved in this pairing, it's important we take another deep dive into a narrative practice we often see with PB. Their blatant favouring of specifically white female antagonists.

Now, it's not as if white men in antagonistic roles don't get favourable writing from their teams and adulation from sections of the fandom (one has to only look at some of the posts Gaius Augustine of BB, Caleb of Hero, and Kane of TE got - just to name a few). But we also often see fans of such white women decry the (very little compared to their black counterparts) condemnation that their faves get for their actions in comparison to both antagonistic and romanceable white men. Such readers often neglect to acknowledge exactly how much the narrative bends over backwards to accomodate them, in a way that they never have done for even mildly hostile/wary black and brown women. And often this is with ample support and encouragement within the fandom itself.

One cannot even pretend this is a recent development. The early books had their fair share of white-woman-adulation and you can see some of the patterns that would solidify in PB discourse already take shape in their early books.

One excellent example of this is TCaTF. Compare the treatment that white women like Helene Leventis, Hex and Zenobia Nevrakis are given, to what Rowan Thorn - a black woman - gets. Helene is allowed to escape never to return, or join Kenna, despite being the woman who killed her mentor and close friend Gabriel. Hex is well known in the series for her sadistic torture devices and for destroying an extremely prosperous kingdom. Yet, she is captured - alive - and there are two options that allow her a bit more mercy, and only one that recommends the harshest of punishments. Rowan in the meantime only betrays Kenna if the latter is an absolute tyrant to her, and letting her go if she betrays her is touted as a failure. Her loyalty doesn't ensure she will live like Diavolos' does - you can in fact leave her to die if you don't have enough diamonds/prestige points.

The Freshman was an improvement on this: even if Becca Davenport started out as a classic college mean girl, her redemption arc involved her needing to work to regain trust with the group and her best friend Madison, regardless of the MC's fondness of her. Her housemates immediately set her straight when she lashes out at them at the beginning of TS, and Becca has to plan for almost a-book-and-a-half to get her friendship with Madison back to normal again.

Sadly, this is something that rarely ever happened again. Discrepancies in character treatment became more and more obvious as the years passed. Books where black and brown women behaved even mildly unimpressed or catty with the MC, showed them either suffering grievous fates or written out of the narrative (eg. Scarlett not even getting a proper future in the VoS bonus scene) or being mistrusted and misunderstood constantly by the MC and their friends (Aurora). Books where white women could cause grievous harm depicted them being let off without so much as a slap on the wrist (eg. Aunt Mallory of RoE being rewarded with a happy life, a man and reconciliation with the niece she tried to kill and the daughter she emotionally abused).

(Screenshots from SavageLordBarlow's YouTube channel)

Perhaps the worst and most obvious case to date was that of Vanessa Blackwood of MoTY, who called a young child "guttersnipe" within minutes of encountering her, outed a lesbian teacher, encouraged her son's bullying, provided legal counsel to the MC's ex husband just to see the woman suffer, and engineered a plot to frame the MC for theft so she could lose her job. Once Vanessa had crossed her limits, PB ensured they laid on the sympathy narrative thick, having her show sad faces when the MC scolded her in a paywall scene, punishing only her brown lackey (both the white people involved - Vanessa and Guy - are never named when Tallulah is exposed, even though she literally stole jewellery and framed the MC for them). In the series finale, Vanessa was rewarded with a cushy diamond scene where the MC can choose (in what is the understatement of the century) to call her "classist and a little bit racist" - all she is given at the end of the book is an extremely softball form of criticism.

Compare this to Xanthe of ACOR, who had far less power, who was repeatedly slut shamed by the MC and others for doing her job, and whose end was met in a "comical" scene that implied she'd been sold into sexual slavery while two black members of her scholae gloated over her plight (in a manner so uncharacteristic of them that even players who didn't necessarily like Xanthe were shocked. I would highly recommend you read @cassiopeiacorvus' excellent essay on her, "Xanthe: Courtesan, Rival, Pawn").

In an essay I'd written years ago, I'd noted the following:

"Check out who the narrative rewards you for treating well, as opposed to who will be made to support you either way.

You're allowed to show basic decency to a black or brown woman. But you're expected to show kindness, understanding and empathy to a white woman, and richly rewarded if you do. In some cases you will also face consequences if you don't. (Fandom - take note of the difference, and be sure not to forget it)."

Madeleine Amaranath is probably one of the best examples of this - with blatant retcons, unfounded adulation and obvious pandering lasting over five books.

Rules of Engagement

When we look at the full cast of TRR, we find at least six characters who are callbacks to its sister series, Rules of Engagement. Leo, Constantine, Regina, Bastien, Madeleine and Rashad (the last one was an addition from TRR2 onwards). Part of TRR's appeal as a series was its ability to reference the earlier one through these characters, but this time from the PoV of Leo's younger brother instead.

Madeleine appeared in only 2 chapters in RoE. She was Leo's fiancée, in an arranged match that not only their parents but their citizens expected, unfazed by the "commoners" Leo brought to his bed and secure in the knowledge that no matter who he slept with she would eventually become his Queen. Leo dashes these expectations, however, by abdicating his claim to the throne - whether the RoE MC chooses him or not.

At this point - when TRR was barely even a concept - Leo was a clear fan favourite. Players liked the idea of romancing a rogue prince from a fictional European country; it meant they could revel in the luxury of touching royalty, while being away from all the hard, unsavoury parts. The Madeleine angle provided them with a rival to fight off, and at the time that was all that mattered.

Was Leo's behaviour in RoE, towards both the RoE MC and Madeleine, dishonest? Definitely, but not many seemed to care much at the time and it hardly created a dent in his fanbase (most of the criticisms against him and his cheating ways and irresponsibility would emerge later - when the Leo stans became Drake stans, and it was more convenient to badmouth Liam's family).

Jeffrey Herdman, a Junior Game Writer with Pixelberry for over 7 years, was a part of both the RoE and TRR teams, and proudly admitted in the TRR2 pre-release interview, to being the one in charge of writing Madeleine:

Q: Very funny. (Just so we're clear, Jeffrey is joking. Sort of.) Out of curiosity, who's your favorite character to write in The Royal Romance?

Jeffrey: Madeleine. It's fun to write someone who's constantly trying to spin a situation to their benefit, and making power plays along the way. I've actually been writing for Madeleine since her appearance in Rules of Engagement: Book 2, so we're practically besties.

Excerpt from The Royal Romance: Book 2 Interview

(If we were to compare this adulation of the character from Jeffrey, to the person who wrote Hana - head writer Jennifer Young, you'd find a surprising difference. In this very interview Jennifer talks about enjoying the process of writing Hana, but pointed to Drake as her favourite LI - "In my personal game, my love interest is definitely Drake, and I totally make Kara write him just so I can read his scenes and enjoy the romance. =)".

Perhaps if Jennifer had spent less time fawning over Drake, and more time doing Hana's story justice, that LI wouldn't be stuck in a situation where the team constantly erased her experiences and history to benefit their favourites)

When you look at Jeffrey's open admiration of Madeleine, and trace her fairly choppy and largely incoherent narrative journey through the books...a lot of things begin to make sense.

TRR1 - Would a TRR1 Madeleine Have Been A Better Fit for Hana?

When you look at the first book, you can tell that the possibility of any of the other alternative pairings besides Liam and Olivia wasn't really entertained. There is no buildup at all for Maxwell x Penelope, Drake x Kiara - and not even a single direct interaction between fellow competitors Hana and Madeleine. In fact, TRR2 often had to cover up for the lack of interaction in certain cases by making the alternative LI come up with justifications for why they weren't approaching the LI before.

There is maybe one implied interaction between Hana and Madeleine, that I don't think even the writers paid much attention to at the time. In the pie baking scene in Applewood, Hana is assigned to Madeleine's team if the MC doesn't take her along. Whichever group Hana is in, she is in charge of the pie design.

In the diamond scene, she takes the MC's suggestions and gives her advice on the amount of apples required for the filling. Given that she gives credit to the MC (in front of Queen Regina) in this option, and doesn't not do the same for Madeleine, it is likely that she was allowed to decorate for the other team, but not with much input from the captain.

This pie has a rose design, which is beautiful but lacks the intricacy and the challenge of the Cordonian Royal Seal, which the MC can suggest in the diamond scene. It's possible that by default, Madeleine handled the baking herself (since Penelope couldn't even boil water and in fact is so distracted she unwittingly helps sabotage the pie), and Hana was assigned strictly decoration duties. But even these possibilities rely on conjecture and guesswork, with no real dialogue or interaction shown.

There are no other scenes where the two women talk or do anything together. Hana may be present in one or two scenes where Madeleine is speaking (such as the dining scene in Ch 17 where Madeleine tells the court ladies about the upcoming Engagement Tour), but the two never directly engage with each other. It's more likely that (like Maxwell and Penelope, or Drake and Kiara), the writers may have thought of Hana and Madeleine only in the second or third book - more likely the third, but there are possible hints in TRR2 if you squint.

Hana is an interesting anomaly among the cast of TRR. She is both Cordonian and foreigner; the ways of the Cordonian court are, in equal parts, both familiar and confusing to her. This serves as an double-edged advantage to the MC - Hana is both skilled and knowledgeable enough to ease her into the culture, and isolated and vulnerable enough for the MC to step up as a hero on occasion. We also find out in Lythikos (TRR1 Ch 7) that she was so deep in the closet that she couldn't fully articulate her struggle to love the romantic English noble who wanted to marry her, in the presence of the woman she was slowly beginning to love. Within the competition itself, Hana is shown having a hard time finding people who will associate with her, often shown left out of events and her yacht party abandoned during the Regatta. The broken engagement could have a hand in making her appear to be struggling in the competition, but tbh Olivia is the only one who brings it up. Overall, she does well in the competition, but gets little credit for the same.

Madeleine is the polar opposite of this. Even though the ladies of the court initially view her with a mixture of pity and respect (due to her broken engagement with Leo, and her position as a Countess and winner of the previous season), their views on Madeleine once she enters the competition range from anger (Olivia), to speculation (Kiara and Penelope), to indifference and later suspicion (the MC).

Madeleine comes into the social season with several advantages: her pedigree and her years of experience at court. Both Bertrand and the MC note that Madeleine hails from a "powerful family" and "is immersed in the intrigues and maneuverings of courtly life", and therefore the MC is cautioned by Applewood to pay more attention to her than to Olivia. If the MC fails to win court favour, both Penelope and Kiara show allegiance to Madeleine. Where Hana is shown to be vulnerable despite her skills, charm and intelligence, Madeleine is meant to be viewed with respect even by her peers - and expected not to return that respect to others unless they're the king and queen.

I often view the Madeleine of Book 1 (and early TRR2), and the Madeleine of the latter half of Book 2, as two separate people (more on that in the next section). Early Madeleine was depicted as a clear threat. While she does nothing too out-of-pocket during the competition, her threats to the MC once she is (optionally) the favourite frontrunner, her singular focus on only the king and queen (and largely ignoring the Prince), and inability to respectfully lose, ensure that the reader registers her as a figure of danger early on. The first time she (optionally) faces an obvious loss and sees the MC crowned as Apple Queen, Madeleine tells her to "savour these moments. You may never hear the phrase again".

Her very extreme attempts to belatedly win Liam's favour after ignoring him the entire season (we later find out that she barged into his sleeping quarters the previous night and suggested the arrangement that Liam speaks about in TRR2), earns her speculative looks from the MC and wariness from Liam himself. Given that the outcome was so different in TRR2 but the buildup to said outcome was so rushed and chaotic, there is a 70/30 chance that Madeleine's buildup in Book 1 was meant to highlight her as someone with the capability to harm the MC, rather than just as a red herring. At the very most, Book 1 would highlight her as powerful, with the intention that Book 2 would follow through with showing her as a cog in a very vicious machine.

But because Madeleine's actions in TRR1 don't result in any direct harm, it's honestly hard to envision her as dangerous beyond the subtle threats (that people could brush off as basic rivalry) and rank classism.

Would Hana's pairing with the Madeleine of TRR1 have worked? It's equally hard to say. If we take only Book 1 into account, and ignore the very real possibility of a threat that Madeleine represents, there's a sliver of a chance that such a pairing could work...if Madeleine works on herself. At this point she hasn't manifested as a direct threat to Hana in a way that, say, Olivia has - and all the MC has at this point are theories and speculation. You'd have to probably change half of Madeleine's characterization, but it could be workable if the foundation for such a pairing was mutual respect from the start.

Still, when you take into consideration that Madeleine being involved in the plot against the MC was a very legitimate possibility, it's hard to see any opening for this pairing. Even Penelope - whose coddling from the narrative knew no limits - was no longer entertained as a potential alternative romance for an LI the moment her role in the plot was uncovered. If any harm was done to the MC, and Madeleine was found to be behind it, there is no way Hana would even be allowed to entertain the thought of her as an alternative LI at all.

You see - hurting Hana is no big deal. But hurting the MC and still getting an LI to show interest in you? Now that would be beyond the pale!

Madeleine: A Red Herring...Or A Villain Retconned?

As I have mentioned earlier, there is one writer - who has seniority in the company because of his many years there, who has always been in charge of Madeleine's writing, and who has always loved writing her. On close inspection one can say for certain that Jeffrey Herdman had a fair bit of sway in the team itself, especially from the fact that one of his weirdest writing suggestions - the MC's supposed obsession with hats - was retained in the books as a gag for a very, very long time (TRF finale livestream interview). When you take both Jeffrey's sway in the team, and the writing of Madeleine in TRR2 and 3 (and beyond), one can make several educated guesses about what Madeleine was built up to be, and how that changed midway.

Plenty of fan posts written in the gap between TRR1's finale and TRR2's release, took for granted that Madeleine would have some role to play in the plot against the MC. While one may assume this was due to "jealousy" from players or "hate for a bitchy character", there were enough signs in TRR1 and 2 that this was the route the narrative was initially planning to take with her.

The MC does voice suspicions of Madeleine in the first book - mostly after Madeleine herself voices threats to the MC during the Apple Queen ceremony. Madeleine also looks apprehensive at the (optional) public support Liam shows towards the MC at the Beaumont estate, and even shows him a suspiciously huge amount of attention at the Coronation. The MC even confronts Madeleine during the Coronation festivities when she gets a note threatening her to withdraw from the competition, believing it was sent by the latter. But beyond this, Madeleine's own words in TRR1 often sound ominous and laced with subtle threats. Still - going by just TRR1's evidence, Madeleine could still work as a good red herring, since she's not exactly crossed a clear line with anyone yet.

TRR2 seems to go in one direction when it comes to Madeleine's arc, then makes a sharp pivot in the opposite direction post Chs 7 and 8. The first half of the book has both the MC and Liam regard her with doubt and suspicion, especially when the MC learns that Madeleine had come to Liam's rooms the night before the Coronation, and insisted he continue the relationship with the MC on the sly while making her the queen. The book presents several contrasts between Madeleine and the MC, presenting their possible ruling styles and envisioning how each woman would fare as a future queen.

In a diamond scene in TRR2 Ch 4, Liam asks the MC how she would handle a plate of curry chicken falling on someone - an incident that has already occurred in some playthroughs to Madeleine (who got recognizably frustrated and called the whole episode "a disaster"). In contrast, the MC can claim she would either defuse the situation with humour or help clear the mess - both of which establish that unlike Madeleine the MC knows how to adapt to different situations, and prefers to find a solution rather than take her frustrations out on everyone else. Liam points out the differences between the two women as the MC "having perspective... every gaffe isn't a disaster".

Multiple scenes in the story focus on Madeleine's rigidity, her inability to adapt, her hunger for power, her belief that becoming queen gives her a free pass to be a tyrant, her hubris that allows her to outright harm some of her ladies in waiting and believe she will never face consequences, and her overall lack of real impact during her own engagement tour (only if the MC fails miserably does the Italian statesman Francesco even mention Madeleine). A lot of this buildup indicates that she won't be as effective a queen as other characters claim she will be.

Her overall behaviour in the first half of TRR2 seems to highlight overconfidence, and a willingness to overstep every possible boundary in the belief that nothing will now prevent her from getting what she wants ("the best part about being Queen is that I don't have to explain myself to anyone. Including you."). Even though she isn't queen yet, both Madeleine and everyone around her behave as if she has already been crowned! That kind of overconfidence - especially from someone who should know better than anyone that winning the competition doesn't necessarily mean she'll be crowned - makes more sense when she is aware that there are powerful people (like the former king and her aunt, the former queen) to back her.

There is also the fact that Penelope's involvement in the plot never got any proper buildup. There is just one scene, in TRR2 Ch 6, where she speaks about feeling uncomfortable at parties and balls, and how much she hates crowds. The reveal of her being the culprit is in Ch 7; the reveal of her social anxiety is in Ch 8. Before this, you have zero indicators of her being involved in this level of deception - even though her history of "social anxiety" should have ideally made that kind of subterfuge difficult, and she should have been able to leave a few tells, signalling her guilt. It is very clear on rereads that Penelope's involvement in the plot was a last-minute narrative decision.

But perhaps the strongest evidence that TRR2 was originally meant to establish Madeleine as part of the plot against the MC, is a line from the very first scene of the book. When a confused MC asks Bertrand how it's possible for Liam to break his engagement, Bertrand mentions a constitutional provision:

"The king is able to change his selection in specific cases for the good of the nation". The MC being proven as framed and unfairly disgraced achieves very little in this context, because the focus is clearly on the king's final choice. This means that the engagement cannot be voided on the basis of the MC being innocent, but on the basis of Madeleine being unfit for the role.

What happens to this "constitutional clause" once Penelope is declared the culprit among the court ladies rather than Madeleine? It disappears completely. If she was really meant to be a red herring from the start, the team would never have added this line in the first place. Nor would they have left the "buildup" for Penelope's anxiety till Ch 6, just one chapter before her reveal. If Madeleine was really meant to be a mere red herring from the start, there would have been more than just one crumb presented for that trail.

It is highly possible that the team had plans for Madeleine to be involved in the plot, or in something shady enough to justify breaking the engagement. It is just as highly possible that Jeffrey, the writer in charge of her character, allowed his favouritism for that character to dictate his writing of her, and convinced the team to change the trajectory of the story to benefit her.

Hana and Madeleine - The First Half of TRR2

Most of the interactions between Hana and Madeleine in TRR2 are overshadowed by one incident in Ch 7 - the one most popularly known as "the chocolate incident". Madeleine was already not too popular as a character when this scene came out, but her admission that she wanted to break Hana crossed enough of a line that a number of players would bring it up as a reason for why they couldn't ever like her, no matter how often she was retconned in canon.

A common misconception made about the "chocolate incident" from Madeleine lovers and haters alike, is that it's viewed as a singular episode rather than as an escalation in an ongoing pattern of threats that Madeleine was already making to Hana.

Viewing it as an isolated incident is precisely what allowed both Madeleine stans, and the canon narrative itself, to severely downplay what Madeleine did, and what she openly declared she would continue doing to Hana. Therefore, it is essential to look into Hana and Madeleine's interactions before Ch 7, as well as the context behind Hana's return to court and the very real and grave threat that Madeleine represents to Hana specifically.

To do this, we must first look into how Hana's return to court (after her parents forced her to leave post Coronation) is depicted. There are two versions of this story - Madeleine's version...and the truth.

Madeleine's Version: "If it wasn't for me, she'd still be on the other side of the world. I've heard dogs remember those who feed them. I hope you'll keep this in mind and remember that dear Hana is here by my personal invitation". This is a half-truth at best and ironically, this is the version Hana sticks to. She is never allowed to tell us differently.

The truth, as said by Liam to Hana post Coronation: "I am the King of Cordonia. I'm sure Lady Madeleine knows that if she wants to keep our engagement, she'll have to give me something. Perhaps I can convince her to make you part of her court". Hana never gets to tell us this. That honour is given to Drake!

Even after the MC (optionally) gets to know this truth, she never talks to Hana about it, and Hana is never allowed to veer from Madeleine's narrative even in private. In the process, Madeleine gets to use her half-truth as a form of blackmail - threatening Hana at least twice to send her back to China if she paces even one toe out of Madeleine's arbitrary line.

In TRR2 Ch 4, Madeleine is shown antagonizing her entire court (ordering Penelope to get lemonade and comparing her to dogs, telling Kiara to exoticize herself by not speaking in English [which itself has colonial/Orientalist connotations]). But none is more ominous and disturbing than her subtle threat to Hana before introducing her to the two suitors:

Being sent back to her parents is a terrifying prospect for Hana...for two reasons. For one, Hana is committed to being there for the MC, to contributing to her investigation (and she does! Massively. Perhaps more than anyone else in the group). For another, she is just beginning to realize what a damaging environment her parents' house is, and she also knows they are already growing suspicious that she hasn't found another suitor yet. By the end of this conversation, Hana is visibly distraught... to the point of needing moral support (something she rarely asks for herself).

Remember - this is an arbitrary rule Madeleine comes up with, that applies only to Hana. In the same conversation, neither Kiara nor Penelope are placed under this kind of pressure. Though Penelope claims in Ch 6 that her parents won't allow her to come home if she doesn't get a suitor, Madeleine doesn't levy any other threats of this nature on her (she harms Penelope in other ways).

Madeleine is aware that Liam was the one responsible for Hana's return. It is implied that she is also aware that neither Liam nor Hana can say this in public. By this coin, she'd know that she shouldn't be the one who can take a call on sending Hana back - Liam is. Yet she issues this sort of a threat, and worse still...is allowed to get away with it through Hana and the MC's silence, both in private and in public.

Unlike the MC and Olivia, the other three ladies of the court are present in official positions to the future Queen, and are expected to publicly pledge loyalty to her. The narrative of TRR2 alone seems to give the King's fiancèe powers and influences similar to an actual Queen Consort's. And Hana, Kiara and Penelope aren't just random "court members" - they are Madeleine's ladies-in-waiting. They cannot even speak to certain people unless she approves of it (Ch 1), she orders them around with the disrespect that many in that nobility reserve for their servants (Penelope in Ch 4), she publicly humiliates and insults them if they make a single mistake (eg. Penelope not getting a metallic dress in time for the bachelorette), and she can get away with causing them grievous harm (Hana). There is no actual point to any of this behaviour - it achieves nothing and (by the narrative parameters of the third book) is actually foolish, because Madeleine's actions could cost the royal family their relationship with the Great Houses. Neither the MC nor Liam (the actual monarch), would be allowed by the narrative later to abuse their power the way Madeleine can, in a position that isn't even hers yet!

It is easy to view Madeleine's interactions with Hana and Penelope especially, as just some regular mean-girls shit, with all the excuses, justifications and crocodile tears that the fandom can shower on said white/white-passing mean girls. Canon itself encourages this reading when they use the word "hazing" to describe what Madeleine put Hana through. But when we speak of Madeleine's behaviour in her engagement tour that way, we miss a very important aspect of her dynamic with these two women. They are no longer competitors or mere allies. They are not just people she knows in court.

They are not Madeleine's equals. They are her employees. She is directly in a position of immense, unquestioned and unchecked power over them. Publicly, she has the authority to invite them into her court, and to throw them out of their jobs. It is from that lens, that we must view her behaviour, especially in Ch 7.

The "Chocolate Incident" and Its Aftermath

Another reason to believe Jeffrey's favouritism for Madeleine allowed for an actual change in the story, is the way this above scene - and the ones preceding it - were handled immediately in both the immediate and long-term aftermath.

Often dubbed "the chocolate incident", this scene takes place in Italy (the first stop of the engagement tour) during Madeleine's bachelorette. For anyone who has forgotten the incident, Madeleine's ladies-in-waiting are supposed to organize different fun activities for her bachelorette, and the MC uses each event as both a PR exercise and an opportunity to check the credit cards of the ladies.

The final activity is Hana's, an intricately-planned chocolate fondue party complete with chocolate-themed games and treats. If one reads too much between the lines, one could maybe notice the tiniest sliver of a romantic hint in Hana's conversation with the MC over her confusing an actual bachelorette party with the show The Bachelorette (It is just as possible tho - if not more - that this is a comic aside pointing to Hana's lack of exposure to modern media).

However, things take a turn for the worst at this juncture. Madeleine heavily berates Hana for not knowing that she is "allergic to chocolate", accusing her of an attempt to murder and even threatening to remove her from her position in court. This leaves Hana so distraught that she ruins her own dress in the process, and is damn near inconsolable. The MC can - if she chooses - comfort Hana along with their friends. At the end of the night, a heavily drunk Madeleine gleefully admits she lied about the allergy and gloats about wanting to keep hurting Hana till she breaks, because she "wants to have a little fun".

She claims, when asked why, that it's because "everyone wants something, but the nice ones like Hana don't even have the decency to act like it". Which sounds like the sort of sick logic that fandom often happily accepts from their favourite white antagonists, where they can project whatever sob story they want to make such a reasoning palatable. Such attempts ignore the fact that Madeleine is torturing someone for supposed "duplicity" when she is herself well-known for being insincere.

Later, when it was convenient for the fandom to hate on Hana, she would be either blamed for the torture Madeleine put her through (because she was "weak" or "too nice", or that she was "spineless and deserved this treatment". I even saw posts that claimed it "wasn't that bad" (in the case of one particularly memorable instance, a Madeleine stan went so far as to say, agreeing with a post expressing a fondness for Madeleine: "...before anyone mentions the chocolate prank: Did Hana die, tho?"). Some also tried to reason that it was fair for Madeleine to target Hana, either to showcase her "wiles" or because of her sad sad childhood.

As I pointed out earlier, every single one of these takes tend to downplay Madeleine's bullying/abuse so that it sounds more like a schoolyard squabble that happened only once, rather than a person in power consistently placing their employee's job under threat, with the stated intention of harming them mentally and emotionally on a regular basis, until they experienced a breakdown. The center of this conflict isn't about different people with different approaches. Nor is it about court maneuvering or wiles because honestly, nothing worthwhile was achieved through Madeleine's abuse, and she had no purpose for doing those things beyond deriving a sick pleasure from other people's suffering.

It isn't about nice vs tough, nor ambitious vs generous, nor "naive" vs "jaded". It is about a gross power imbalance. An imbalance that results in the exploitation of the more vulnerable party...which is later brushed aside by the one who claims to be the latter's "friend" like it means nothing.

Structure wise, one can see striking similarities between this chapter, and TRR1's Ch 7, where the MC can view Olivia in a new light in the first half of the chapter, but be disturbed by her vindictive nature by the end of it. Here too, the MC comes into the investigation of the credit cards fully expecting to see Madeleine as the culprit. Over the course of the evening she finds Madeleine treating her ladies-in-waiting badly, but also calling out the press for targeting only the MC but staying silent on Tariq's involvement (ironically, Madeleine herself didn't exactly believe the MC if she tells her she was set up). She is also shocked when she realises Madeleine isn't the culprit at the club. Still, the court is given a rude shock when Hana is accused of putting Madeleine's life in danger.

Clearly the aim of such a chapter was to make the MC soften a little towards Madeleine, while still keeping some of the antagonistic tension. However, the more direct impact of Madeleine's huge ego trip on Hana made the harm far more visible than Olivia's jibes towards a woman who was far away...plus the scenes that followed in the former sequence centered Drake, far more than the ones in the latter that involved comforting Hana.

Madeleine's bullying also clashes - quite conveniently - with the reveal of Penelope's betrayal, so that the latter overshadows what Hana went through altogether.

It is important to note at this point that the MC is the only person not directly tied in an alliance to Madeleine (besides Olivia and Maxwell, who are then missing at the fashion show backstage scene in Paris) who knows Madeleine's intentions towards Hana. She is the only person present at the event in Paris, who knows that Madeleine intended to continue harassing her until she broke. Hana herself is never made fully aware of this, and if she is left in a vulnerable, dangerous position while on her mission to support the MC's investigation - then the fault lies to a large extent with the MC for keeping silent, rather than protecting her friend from someone who fully intended to hurt her.

I say this because in France (Ch 8), the MC's exposing of Madeleine is by choice, rather than default (this essay has a full breakdown of said scene). Moreover, the option where the MC can "expose" her will result in Madeleine lying about the act being an "official hazing" she does for all her ladies-in-waiting. Not only does the MC neglect to contest Madeleine's claims (or even tell Hana the full truth in secret), she also parrots Madeleine's lie in a conversation with Adeleide in NY, as if it were the truth (Ch 14).

Remember how I mentioned Jeffrey - the writer who was in charge of Madeleine's scenes and sang her praises in TRR2's pre-release interview? His influence here is obvious in the way the narrative sharply pivots away from Madeleine's characterization so far, to engage in a full-blown pity party.

The abuses of her power (towards Hana and Penelope in particular) stop. The parallels that canon makes between Madeleine and the MC as future Queens, stop. No reference, ever, is made of her actions before Ch 8.

For over seven chapters, Madeleine largely fades into the background - sometimes there will be scenes where she is present, but without any dialogue or actions. Sometimes she may make a catty move like getting the MC to pick up her wedding ring, but from a safe distance. Because she doesn't openly antagonize anyone or show up much in Chs 9-15, the sense of distance could allow some to soften in their memories of her. Especially when the only strong reminders of Madeleine in these chapters come from Adeleide, her mother.

Adeleide is an important cog in the machinery that resulted in the retconning of Madeleine's character in TRR2. Without her, Patriotic!Madeleine wouldn't have become canon. Adeleide sets the stage for this extremely inaccurate reading of her, with complaints on two occasions about how Madeleine is "putting too much pressure on herself" and working too hard. Which contradicts her very real actions in Applewood and Italy, where she regularly antagonized her entire court and where she doesn't get much notable approval from foreign dignitaries (Signor Francesco) unless the MC is that bad.

The narrative, at this point, expects us to view her with sympathy, as someone who could have been "an excellent queen" (Adeleide's words, not mine). The stage is clearly set so that we pity her when Liam calls off the engagement and she loses this position, that we can see her loss as "unfair". It ensures that there is an overflow of sympathy for Madeleine's plight, especially since she had already lost her chance to become Queen once before with Leo. By this point, many readers had actually forgotten the "chocolate incident" altogether, and were more than willing to view Madeleine as a patriot who wasn't given her due. A description that, ironically, more accurately fits Hana.

Is Hana Really Just A Nice Girl who Never Fights Back?

As I mentioned before, Hana's "niceness" and "weakness" were sometimes presented in fandom as justifications/reasons for Madeleine's bullying of her, often in an attempt to shift blame or make it sound like Madeleine's stated "reasons" (in TRR2 Ch 7) to hurt her were legitimate. Almost as if to say that Hana was targeted because she presents herself as an easy target.

To be clear, I don't subscribe to such a train of thought myself. Different people react to bullies and abusers in different ways - and not being able to push back aggressively in tense situations doesn't make anyone a lesser person. In fact, canon itself doesn't mind providing a "weaker" person protection against someone like Madeleine...as long as that person is Penelope. So we cannot even claim that Hana's "weakness" is why Madeleine targets her, or why the MC shouldn't have to protect Hana better.

Canon also doesn't help much in this respect, especially with their preferences for the meaner white women. In fact the narrative doesn't even allow Hana the chance to speak up in private against Madeleine's half-truths about her return, and she is made to easily accept Madeleine's "hazing" excuse. Let's not even get into how she speaks about Madeleine in TRR3. Additionally, no one in Hana's own friend group provides adequate protection or support - they stay silent where it counts.

But is Hana really that incapable of fighting for herself? According to the finale of TRR1, no.

Even though the scene is hidden behind a paywall, Hana's pushback against Olivia's treatment of her during the social season is strong, decisive and done entirely on her own initiative, with no prompting or involvement from the MC. She is honest about the ways in which Olivia has hurt her, but also makes it clear that Olivia's opinions and vitriol no longer matter - effectively reclaiming her own power in the process.

Such a scene is a clear indicator that Hana is capable of pushing back, and isn't afraid to speak truth to power - as early as TRR1. While one could say that as a diamond scene, it is possible that it can't be fully shown as canon - there are ways the writers know how to incorporate such things. Often, they have managed to write in similar scenes or the same information into free scenes later on (eg. the selling of Liam's bachelor party photos, which wasn't even that important to the story of TRR2). Hana could have had a free pushback scene with Olivia if the writers really wanted to give her one.

That aside, it's safe to say that there is a precedent for Hana being able to fight back before TRR2, and canon could have found ways to ensure that she could safely do so with Madeleine too. Or at least have more protection and care from her friend group, if her position as lady-in-waiting prevented her from speaking out. Penelope got to demand protection later on, after all - and she wasn't even our friend.

We must also take into account the positions of power that Madeleine, Olivia and later even the MC hold. Madeleine is a countess in line to become queen in TRR2. Olivia is a duchess, and the MC herself is given this honour in Book 2. Hana - despite her skills, knowledge and charm - never gets lands, nor a title unless she marries the MC. Hana's experience in Cordonia isn't just about "other women" being mean to her with the MC being "not like other girls" - all three of the above women are in positions of power over her, and even the nicest of them uses her more often than she helps.

TRR2 doesn't exactly build Hana and Madeleine as a pair. In hindsight one can read romantic hints into Madeleine's mocking usage of the word "darling" around Hana, Hana's attempt to replicate The Bachelorette for Madeleine's bachelorette party, and read parallels into both their toxic family histories (particularly Hana with her mother and Madeleine with her father). But there is no actual romantic content there that one could find with the other three pairs, which leads me to believe that Hana and Madeleine was only taken seriously as a romantic prospect in TRR3.

How did Madeleine become the final romantic choice for Hana, and no one else? Because the relationship was never made Hana's benefit - it was for Madeleine's. Given all the evidence laid out about TRR1!Madeleine, TRR2!Madeleine and including hints that she may have actually been written as the villain at some point, it's more likely that Madeleine's main writer ensured some changes in the writing of his favourite character midway into the story, resulting in her staying longer in court and several retcons that painted her as a tragic heroine and completely erased any actions that contradicted such a narrative.

This specific narrative also seems to draw upon a narrative trope that is seen sometimes in certain stories featuring queer couples - the Armoured Closted Gay. It is employed often enough, mostly to show the pervasiveness and immense pressure heteronormativity can have on some queer people - that sometimes, they hate themselves for not adhering to the norm and therefore project that self-hatred onto people like them. PB had done a similar kind of story in TF and ILITW - with Zig and an aggressive teammate Manny (but with discussions on sexual harassment and about being closeted) and with Lily Oritz and her crush Britney. Unlike Zig's and Lily's cases though, this sort of narrative hardly centers on Hana.

Hana is hardly treated as a person in her own right in this narrative. She is treated as a "consolation prize" for Madeleine's "good behaviour" and "hard work". Which is still a really, really hard story to sell when one of the characters states outright that they'd abuse their power over the other till she breaks.

So how does PB get back from that kind of cruelty, and convert it into an actual romance?

Madeleine in TRR3 - The Royal Retcon

(In order: MC complimenting Madeleine to Godfrey (Ch 3), response to Madeleine's "send my regards to Hana (Ch 9), Madeleine asking for a dance (Ch 16), Optional response about memories of Madeleine's bachelorette in Hana's Vegas diamond scene (Ch 16))

By gaslighting an entire fandom, of course.

TRR3 requires us at the very start to do two things - to recruit Madeleine into replacing Justin as our press secretary, and to convince her family to join the Unity Tour so that Cordonia knows its nobility stands with the Crown. Until this point, we've only had hints of Madeleine's so-called "patriotism", mostly from Adeleide. TRR3 Ch 3 goes full force on this reading: having Madeleine claim (in the most positive option) that all her efforts to become queen was "for my people...it was always for Cordonia", having Hana claim that Madeleine "would mostly likely take a bullet for Liam... because you'd never leave Cordonia without a King". Coupled with Godfrey and Adeleide's toxic family dynamics, the story is set to push forward a narrative where we are meant to sympathize with her and preferably downplay her behaviour from the previous book.

Throughout Madeleine's tenure as press sec, we are expected to laud her "work" - even though the truth is that she makes our work harder by giving us heavy folders and 100 note cards of materials just minutes before our meetings, and leaving out important information (like Zeke) for us to scramble about and find. Where during her time as future queen, her ladies-in-waiting were expected to have every detail perfect as per her desires otherwise face her wrath - as our employee, we are expected to appreciate efforts alone, and be lenient when she doesn't follow our rules (eg. wearing gold for our bachelorette when she was supposed to wear muted colours, trying to sneak in a white dress to our wedding). Most of our responses to her "work" involve fulsome praise, or at most a very light criticism that still claims she's good at her job (she isn't). And it isn't just the MC - even Justin (who recommended her) and Hana are made to sing her praises.

Having canon claim Madeleine does a good job when she actually doesn't is... frustrating, but not as awful as the retconning they do for her past behaviour. But it is part of a pattern that whitewashes Madeleine altogether so the readers can consider her deserving of the rewards that the narrative so badly wants to give her, whether her actual conduct matches up to these fulsome praises or not.

One clear tactic that is used to achieve this, was to have the person she harmed the most, speak of her in glowing terms. In TRR3 Ch 3, you have at least two instances during the "Cordonia's Most" game where Hana uses the game to compliment Madeleine. Here, she compliments Madeleine on knowing how to "charm a crowd...her confidence and poise", and claims her to be very patriotic. If the MC refuses to coddle Madeleine during their private conversation, the onus to be kind to her rests solely on Hana's shoulders, where she is required to say, "maybe it's time to see if you can catch more flies with honey". Hana is also shown wanting to include Madeleine in group activities (TRR3 Ch 6, before going to the spa), in the same way she tried to include Olivia in TRR2. When we're shown a Hana who is not only willing but enthusiastic to speak to Madeleine, it further encourages the reader to befriend her - almost as if to say, "if Hana doesn't mind being friendly with her, why should you?".

And this wouldn't be possible at all if canon was honest about Madeleine's conduct in TRR2. So much about Madeleine's advice to us in TRR3 directly contradicts her own behaviour as future queen in TRR2 ("having an entourage isn't about vanity...it's about support"). Had canon actually been honest about her conduct, this statement would be viewed as extremely ironic, a huge portion of the blame for Penelope's reluctance to return to court would be (rightly) placed on Madeleine's shoulders and we would be able to call her out specifically on her tyrannical behaviour as future queen, as well as her inability to adjust her work to suit her client now. We would not be placing Madeleine on a pedestal ad nauseum, or paying much attention to her childish complaints that her "efforts" are going unappreciated.

Whenever the early part of the engagement tour is referenced, it is spoken of in the vaguest, most milquetoast terms. The narrative will speak vaguely of "meanness", but never actually specify what Madeleine did. The closest we get to any sort of confirmation of this is in the Costume Gala (Ch 9) if the MC warns Madeleine to stay away from Hana...and even there, the MC just says she did "mean things". Which is the mildest possible way I have seen of someone describing a person who gloated about breaking Hana. Like the word "hazing" from the previous book, all these vague references leave it to the readers' faint memories, or imagination, to figure out what Madeleine did.

But all of these are just hints at best, and most of what we could assume of the writers' intentions came largely from guesswork. There was constantly a sense of something not being right, but many of us at the time couldn't completely articulate it. That is, until Ch 16, and only if we pressed a specific option in the Vegas diamond scene, in just Hana's playthrough:

Unlike the previous scenes - which were mostly attempts to obfuscate the events of the previous book - this scene replaces what actually happened with blatant lies. Not only does it wipe out entirely what Madeleine did, replacing it with a casual comment from Hana about her "fun side", it also smears Kiara for something she didn't do at all during the bachelorette (for clarity, Kiara found out she was a great dancer, and looked quite annoyed if the MC chose a wrong dialogue option as an excuse to see her card. The MC never saw her lashing out at Penelope during this event). Even if the MC and Hana were so drunk that night that they wouldn't remember events clearly (which isn't how they're depicted at all when the "chocolate incident" took place), it wouldn't be replaced with things that never actually happened. The writers were more than ready to throw Kiara under the bus to make Madeleine look better, and have those lies come out of Hana's mouth (and mind you, Hana liked Kiara so much she chose her to be her MoH in Ch 18 of her playthrough, so it can't even have been spite towards Kiara on her part).

In contrast, Penelope is allowed to be open about Madeleine's mistreatment of her. In fact she cites it as the main reason for her reluctance to return to court, and even complains at the MC if the latter asks her if she didn't get the memo on the bachelorette dress code in TRR3 Ch 16 ("oh no, no, it's like Madeleine all over again!"). The group is required to protect her from Madeleine; in Ch 4, when Penelope is upset at the very sight of Madeleine, Drake comes to her rescue and reassures her ("She's with us, Penelope. We won't let her bite."). While Madeleine herself is protected from any consequences for what she did to Penelope (besides an optional tiny jibe in Ch 4), the MC and her group are required to reassure her that they will never allow it to happen again. In a very disgusting contrast, the narrative pushes Hana at the forefront of the diamond scene with Madeleine, without ever considering her comfort or safety around the person who wanted to break her. Not only does the group involve her without ever asking her if she wants to be part of it - Drake and Maxwell safely distance themselves when the time comes for Madeleine to speak personally about her troubles, and the MC can choose not to be sympathetic in certain dialogue options. Which means that the onus to comfort and persuade her is largely on Hana's shoulders. We must also remember that, unlike Penelope, Hana is deprived of the full truth of Madeleine's intentions in the last book too.

Where the writers were ready to at least admit that Madeleine's behaviour affected Penelope deeply, they went to the extent of completely rewriting the narrative of her TRR2 bachelorette to erase what she put Hana through.

The "Romance" in TRR3

(First four screenshots from my playthroughs, next four from the Adventure...Romance...Thrills YouTube Channel, and the final row's screenshots from the Annabelle Lee YouTube channel and the Skylia YouTube channel)

The Hana and Madeleine "romance" is hinted at in 5 scenes (4 in other playthroughs, and just one in Hana's own). As with most of the other romances, Madeleine's feelings are the most prominent. To the more romance-coded overtures, Hana's reaction is usually shock and disbelief, with a small suspicion over whether Madeleine is doing this to trick her into humiliation later. But the narrative gives her very little opportunity to even talk about anything related to Madeleine, especially anything negative. You do have a scene at the finale that is meant to provide closure, but not in a romantic way. This scene is very different from the others, and in some ways puts an end to the possibility of this relationship happening anytime soon.

How did we get from those scenes to this final one in Ch 22? It would be useful to look at the scenes, within the timeline of TRR3's release and with the context of fandom reactions.

1. The "Cordonia's Most" Scene (Ch 3)

This diamond scene is written to give the MC/reader a bit of background on Madeleine's past and family, which will prove useful later when she has to convince the Amaranths to fix their relationship with each other. It is set against the background of a drinking game where an asker can quiz everyone else about who would be the most likely to do a particular action. Hana references Madeleine twice in the game (in a very complimentary manner), and Madeleine references Hana once. It was her comment about Hana being "stupidly sweet and perfect" that caught the attention of some readers and made them wonder if that was the route PB was planning to take with Hana. This dialogue shows up in Hana's route as well.

In later chapters, we see instances of Hana trying to include Madeleine in group activities...such as in Ch 6 where she invites the latter to come with them to the spa after the football match with Jiro and Camellia.

2 and 3. Cross-Referencing Each Other at Costume Gala (Ch 9)

This is a very interesting development, at an equally interesting time. Around the time Ch 9 released (end-April 2018), PB announced that TRR's team would be taking a hiatus, mostly to work on "some exciting stuff" during that break. It also gave them the time to work on certain things the fandom was demanding, and do away with others due to stan vitriol (Kiara's attraction towards Drake being one of them). The next chapter would only appear a month and a half later (mid-June).

Ch 9 sneaked in a scene that hinted at Hana and Madeleine as a romance option, but in a way that made it very hard for players to notice on a casual read. The scene is split in two parts: the MC can choose to speak to either Hana and Olivia, or Maxwell, Justin and Madeleine. Hana and Olivia's scene shows the two commenting on Gala outfits, which kickstarts a conversation about diplomacy vs bluntness. The latter option explores a variety of topics, mostly revolving around an appreciation for Madeleine's "great work".

Both Hana and Madeleine reference each other in their scenes. Hana's dialogue depends on whether the MC is her fiancèe or not; in other playthroughs, she admires Madeleine's costume, the compliment on her good looks very personal. In her own playthrough, she compliments Kiara's outfit but in a more distant fashion ("subtle and clever, just like her...very well-chosen"). In Madeleine's scene (which is the same across playthroughs), the ending involves her telling the MC to "send my regards to Hana", in response to which she can choose a line of questioning (which ranges from "protective towards Hana" to largely indifferent. In all three options, thankfully, the MC can close with "don't let me catch you antagonizing her", but that really is one small mercy in a pile of blatant retconning.

What marks Hana's dialogue about Madeleine as an LI-specific option, is that she says something entirely different if the MC is getting married to her. This is an indication that the dialogue was intended to be read as romantic, and that it couldn't be said by an LI who was already in love and ready to marry the MC. Pretty much in the same way that Olivia in Liam's playthrough cannot hold his hand in Applewood or dance with him in Vegas.

I wrote an essay on this at the time - both on the possibility of the pairing and why it was a bad idea - and the overall response I received at the time was mixed. Those who remembered exactly what went down at Madeleine's bachelorette and weren't her fans hated the prospect, but some weren't as convinced and some refused to believe it would happen. So there was some pushback for it, citing Madeleine's "chocolate incident" (thankfully, since there were players who had forgotten about it), but it was very low-key and didn't gain much traction.

4. An Offer to Dance in Vegas (Ch 16)

The most obvious indication of Hana and Madeleine being a romantic possibility was in the Vegas chapter. It was impossible to miss for people who didn't romance Hana. This scene, again, featured only in playthroughs where Hana wasn't getting married - which meant that many Hana-romancers didn't get to know of this pairing unless they were told by a friend or saw any such posts on their dash (some even found out years later, to their shock and dismay).

The mild pushback from Ch 9 resulted in a scene where the writers could be emboldened to continue writing this pairing, but confirm (in the vaguest possible way) that Madeleine treated Hana badly. Madeleine's non-apology "apology" really reads more like an attempt to get into Hana's pants than actual regret, and is followed by a reaction from Hana that is confusing in its mildness. Hana is surprised at the offer to dance, asking Madeleine whether she's trying to trick her. While the mild suspicion is a slight improvement from Hana's fulsome praise and enthusiastic attempts to involve Madeleine in group stuff in previous chapters, it still downplays what Hana suffered at Madeleine's hands by making her present the weakest, most milquetoast examples of "fooling someone", examples that pale miserably in comparison to what Madeleine actually put Hana through.

With both the "stupidly sweet and perfect" dialogue and this scene, you'll notice that Madeleine is not only the one who initiates the conversation, but is also the only one with an actual voice in these exchanges. Forget having an opinion on whether she wants to have anything to do with Madeleine or not - the narrative doesn't even give poor Hana the opportunity to properly react beyond mere shock.

There was a stronger reaction to this scene than to the Ch 9 one, because it was way more visible (though you could avoid it just by letting Madeleine stay in her hotel) with Madeleine's romantic intentions on full display. Her asking Hana for a dance immediately after the no apology made it pretty obvious. Players who didn't see the Ch 9 scenes or who didn't believe the divergences meant anything, now couldn't deny that this was positioned as an alternative romance. Additionally by this time, those who forgot about the "chocolate incident" did get reminded of the exact scene, so the vagueness with which Madeleine "addressed" her actions in TRR2 felt criminally inadequate for a number of readers.

Most of us, however, didn't know about the retcon in Hana's Vegas scene, until years later. Those who didn't do Hana's playthrough would have had no idea, and those who did more likely chose the more romantic options.

5. "Jealous?" (Ch 20)

This scene is unique in that the option shows up across all playthroughs, but the specific reaction only shows up in two of them. It's understandable that Hana stans would have missed this - the dialogue is an option, the response is very fleeting and you would have to look through the same option in other playthroughs to recognise the variations.

In the cases of both Drake and Maxwell, Madeleine's response to this jibe from the MC is "ugh, please". Dismissive, almost mocking the idea that she would have any interest in them. In Liam's and Hana's cases, she appears shocked for a minute, then composes herself and gives a more neutral response ("I...I refuse to dignify such a ridiculous question with a response"). In Liam's case, one can safely assume that even though she had no romantic interest in him, she was still on the verge of marrying Liam and that alone would make the situation awkward. In Hana's case there is really no other reason for her to feel that awkward besides having lingering feelings that she cannot suppress.

While this version of the scene doesn't feature in playthroughs where she is single at all, it's still a very strong indicator of authorial intent. Even in the face of backlash against the pairing, the writers clearly wanted to continue hinting at the possibility, if they were slipping in hints of Madeleine's feelings for Hana as late as Ch 20 (just two chapters before the finale). The most plausible theory for this inclusion would be that the backlash was a lot more than it was after Ch 9, but not entirely enough to do away without the pairing completely...yet.

6. "I Wanted To Break You" (Ch 22)

No one knows what happened between Chs 20 and 22, and there's little I can think of that would account for such a quick change in such a short span of time. The finale has a scene featuring Hana and Madeleine, that begins by drawing more obvious parallels between the two women and their families (until now, the parallels were not as pronounced. It's not exactly a great parallel to begin with, since Madeleine has at least one supportive parent and doesn't get punished to the extent that Hana has been, if she openly protests against her parents' methods. But in TRR3 the narrative sometimes does use Hana's toxic parental situation as a parallel to garner sympathy for Madeleine's).

However, once the parents are out of the picture, the attention then turns to Hana and Madeleine, setting the stage for either a romantic confession or a full apology. This time, canon opts to go for the latter.

Unlike all the others, this scene is bluntly specific not just about what Madeleine did but what exactly her intentions were. It has her use the word "break"; it has her actually say the word "sorry". It allowed Hana, for the first time, to fully hear the truth about the harm Madeleine planned to wreck on her. And most importantly, it also allowed Hana her own voice in response to Madeleine's revelations, making it very clear to her that her forgiveness needed to be earned, over a period of time.

The dialogues used to talk about Madeleine's bachelorette in the finale are poles apart from the language they'd used earlier ("hazing", "put my ladies through their paces", "mean things", "refuse to coddle", "wronged"). The finale scene was a more accurate return to the original language and purpose of that bachelorette scene. In fact it sounds less like what canon had been attempting to gaslight their readers into believing thus far, and even seemed to borrow verbatim from the language of the readers who closely followed this issue.

One could call it a good closure scene on the surface level...but there are many, many problems with it.

One was the reaction of the MC. Her angry "excuse me?" in response to Madeleine's confession is still a very obvious retcon. It may have been done to preserve the myth that the MC is a good friend/wife to Hana, but reads as extremely dishonest when you remember that canonically, the MC knew the truth about Madeleine's intentions the whole time and just chose to leave Hana in the dark. It's an attempt to make the MC seem protective that ultimately rings false.

Another is the excuse Madeleine gives for why she targeted Hana. "I wanted to push Hana too far, and for her to drop the nice-girl act once and for all! Only, it isn't an act, is it?" My response when I first read this was "if Hana was faking it...so what. So fucking what. Who was she harming". Coming from the reigning queen of duplicity herself, Madeleine is really not in a position to be judging anyone for putting up a front. This also ties into the hollowness of the motives PB tried to belatedly cook up for TRR2 Madeleine's bullying - no matter what canon says to whitewash her actions, her attempts achieved nothing, did no good for Cordonia, and would likely have led to a very fractured court if the Unity Tour was held while she was queen.

Ultimately, the possibility of this pairing becoming canon was laid to rest in the final chapter. One could interpret Madeleine's promise of a starting gesture ("know that if anyone at court gives you trouble, I can make them regret it") as a possible opening to something more, but considering the earlier backlash, that was unlikely.

TRH - Madeleine Gets The Penelope Treatment, Hana Gets Her Entire Childhood History Retconned.

An interesting development that came up when TRH dropped was the departure of Jeffrey Herdman from the team, most likely because he was heavily involved in the writing of its Renaissance-era spin-off The Royal Masquerade. He would return, by TRF (he is part of their finale livestream), but by then his pet favourite character was likely gone.

TRH has a different set of circumstances, and different power dynamics. The MC is settled into marriage and trying for a child, the LIs are working in the council, Olivia is upgraded to cosplaying spymaster and the side characters go on with their lives. The first book of TRH seemed to do a surface-level recognition of some of the complaints certain readers had in previous books, but their favourites and the people who wouldn't get much attention or appreciation, remained the same.

TRH1 was a time when the writers praised Hana and claimed in a livestream that she was the kind of LI they would love to marry, but also where they gave her a condition that (inaccurately) made her unable to safely carry children (just for the MC to be the mother of the heir) and forced her to be immediately okay with that fate. As the sequel series progressed over the course of 4 books, the erasure of all that Hana was in the past was subtle and insidious - the narrative often compared her to Olivia and found her lesser, she was never allowed to even mention her home place China and worst of all - the writing completely retconned the emotional abuse she suffered at home by claiming it emerged from loving protection, from wanting to keep their daughter away from a cult. And even though Hana's discovery of her sexuality was described by Kara as a "journey that she's still on", no attempts were ever made to show her exploring what she likes romantically, or to show her dating. We don't know if she's involved with anyone, we don't know where she lives, we learn very little of her interests beyond what benefits the MC at any given moment, and the narrative never fails to remind us that they like Olivia more than they like her. Hell, they still encourage Olivia to keep insulting and degrading Hana! Hardly the behaviour of writers who love a character so much they would marry them irl, honestly.

On the other hand, Madeleine wasn't very prominent in TRH1, but gained notoriety in the next two books. The first book has her occasionally engage in inappropriate, invasive badgering of the MC to get pregnant quickly, and she continues to pretend that her doing whatever she likes without ever consulting the person in charge is professional behaviour (eg. Setting up the presscon about the MC's pregnancy announcement. She never even considers whether the MC would be comfortable announcing this pregnancy or not at this time). She gets to deliver a small bit of foreshadowing in the second half of the book (an early hint about Queen Eleanor's pregnancy, though Madeleine's awareness of it hardly makes sense when you look at the entire TRH series, and it never comes up as a point again). Her father being exposed as the traitor who poisoned the former queen builds up to a storyline that benefits her the most in the long run.

Hana is given one chapter where she can call Madeleine out on her entitlement (Savannah's bachelorette). She doesn't insult or berate Madeleine in TRH1 Ch 7, but is refreshingly no-nonsense and will not put up with Madeleine's constant whining about an event she had invited herself to. It's a small, cold comfort, since Hana's actions here are tied to making Savannah's bachelorette a success rather than for herself - but it's still gratifying to see Hana in a position where she can call people out without having to worry about the repercussions. Especially when the narrative disrespects Hana in so, so many other ways for the rest of the series.

In the same chapter, the ladies of the court are given an opportunity to talk about their love lives. Of the four, two women can speak about the people they like (Penelope about Ezekiel by default, and Olivia about Liam if you choose), and one only mentions him by name if the MC is married to someone else (Kiara, about Drake, if you choose to ask her over Madeleine). Madeleine doesn't mention anyone at all, insisting that marriage is something she will only consider for the benefit of her country or estate. This was a relief to players who feared that PB might attempt to push the possibility of romance between Madeleine and Hana again.

Though Madeleine doesn't get the romance that PB so desperately wanted to gift her in the last series, and she isn't given any further romances...the narrative clearly wasn't done pandering to her, even though Jeffrey was not officially a part of the team.

Remember how in the previous essay, we explored the levels to which PB encouraged players to coddle Penelope? Entire chapters would be spent just making her feel comfortable and safe, in encouraging her to help us. No actual initiative or enthusiasm from her end, even if her actions caused the problem or there were lives and reputations at stake. No, Penelope's comfort and happiness should be front and center.

Now think of that treatment, but on steroids and lasting for two whole books. That's what Madeleine's story - starting from TRH2 - looks like.

TRH1 ends with the reveal that Madeleine's father, Godfrey, was involved in the assassination of Liam's mother Eleanor. So a certain amount of narrative focus on Madeleine was expected, perhaps. But the second book doesn't stop at just that.

We are not merely asked to be kind to Madeleine. No, kindness towards Madeleine is expected of us. The warning issued in TRH2 Ch 4 promises "consequences", which means we know straight off the bat that we will be punished if we're not nice enough. It insists we take note of her "fragile state", and give her the mercy and compassion she had never given to anyone in her court.

To give Madeleine the smallest of credits, she acknowledges this just two chapters prior to the oath ("in the past, our positions were once reversed and I was...unkind to you. I had no reason to expect any kindness from you..."). However, this admission does sound disingenuous in the face of the narrative's implicit demand that we treat her nicely. Because if she did recognise her own past behaviour in TRR2 esp as hurtful, and herself as not exactly deserving of kindness, then it makes no sense for her to judge people for behaving exactly as she expected. A genuine redemption arc would have been one where she understood no one owed her kindness after what she'd done, and still determinedly forged ahead to do good for her country. After all, the narrative wanted us so badly to believe this woman was patriotic, right? If her "patriotic spirit" was so tied to her ego that you needed to pamper and praise her every five minutes, just for her to not support such an obviously-foolish tyrant as Bartie Sr, then it can't have been as strong as canon so vehemently claimed.

TRH tracks our "treatment" of Madeleine over 2 books and 10 distinct scenes. Of these, 6 scenes allow us to choose between kind responses and unkind ones, 2 others require the player to choose one among multiple options of people, and 2 scenes are check-in dialogues rather than actual choices (which means that the player doesn't choose an option, they just find out through such scenes whether they are winning Madeleine's favour or not). I imagine that the first category is the most important, with the second being options that you don't necessarily need to choose Madeleine for if you want to go for one of the others, as long as you pressed enough "kind" options.

To elaborate, here's the breakdown:

Kind/Unkind Responses

- House Amaranth's pledge (TRH2 Ch 4). Notably, the "most hurtful" one doesn't even accuse her of anything - it just tells her that the family needs to earn back the Crown's trust. Compare that to Madeleine's accusations to Hana that she was trying to kill her and deserved to lose her position in court. You know, the cruel treatment that some Madeleine stans claimed "wasn't that bad".

- Carrying the Heir's train at Anointing Ball or not (Ch 5)

- Deciphering Madeleine's conversation with Godfrey on his boat (ie whether she is betraying or helping the MC) (Ch 6)

- Acknowledging Madeleine's help in capturing Godfrey, at the Gratitude Ball (Ch 7)

- Gently encouraging Madeleine into being Penelope's bridal attendant, rather than mocking her (TRH3 Ch 2). There is no longer any need to acknowledge Penelope's earlier fear of Madeleine - we are expected to forget entirely that she was the main reason why Penelope didn't want to return to court in TRR3.

- Trusting Madeleine to help with investigations at Fydelia (Ch 6)

Choosing Among Multiple People:

- Speaking about loyalty before making a pledge to the Heir. Other ladies of the house are also presented as choices (TRH 2 Ch 14)

- Babysitting the Heir during Fox Hunt. Other choices are Regina and Savannah (TRH3 Ch 10)

Relationship Check-in:

- The way Madeleine greets you at Fydelia (Warm Welcome/Cold Front) (TRH3 Ch 6)

- Whether Madeleine helps you escape with the Heir in Ch 13, or allows the child to get kidnapped by Godfrey in Ch 15 (Desparate Times/What Goes Around)

The ending of TRH3 has Madeleine either thriving and inheriting her mother's estate, or being merely fired from her job in Royal Communications (a better punishment would have been to strip the entire Amaranth family of their lands, but I digress). She is notably absent in TRF, possibly because she wasn't entirely very popular to start with and two whole books of coddling her didn't exactly help matters either. As one of the junior writers in the TRF team said, "some people exiled her so..."

The first few opportunities to win her over, notably emerge from attempts Madeleine makes to assure the Crown/MC of House Amaranth's loyalty, and you will find that even at an early stage she expects to be included in sensitive discussions that call for discretion, and to be constantly praised for her efforts. Let me give a reminder, again, that she hardly ever gave any praise to the women working for her, and in fact punished them just to keep them constantly in fear of her.

I know it sounds like I'm labouring too much on this point, but it's important to understand just how much effort the narrative had put into coddling this one woman. Chapters and chapters of branch coding, writing two routes, title cards, dialogues, rewards and consequences.

This is similar to the way the narrative encouraged kindness and sympathy towards Penelope, but it's now over a lengthier period of time and with more drastic consequences. We were required to coddle Penelope over a chapter each in three specific books, or be deprived of her support/help. We are required to constantly shower Madeleine with praise and sweet words over the course of 31 chapters, or she will help an unscrupulous Regent-Elect kidnap our child. She will even openly accept that the only reason she put a mere child through that, was because we weren't nice to her ("Wouldn't you have done the same to me? You've made it abundantly clear you see me as the enemy").

But if the MC deserved a punishment this cruel for just mocking Madeleine at every turn, then what punishments should Madeleine get for what she put her own ladies-in-waiting through? What should she get for planning to "break" one of her courtiers? A second broken engagement doesn't seem entirely enough by such parameters.

Then again - as I said before, the narrative deliberately shifted the goal posts for what a potential royal could and couldn't get away with, in the time between Madeleine's engagement tour and the MC's marriage, for this very reason. So that Madeleine would never have to face the kind of constant censure the MC and Liam would face regularly. Among characters in canon, or among largely biased stans in the fandom. Speaking of which...

Fandom

Madeleine's popularity has always been a mixed bag, ever since TRR2. By TRR2, there were people who loved her for what they thought were her craftiness and wiles, some who suspected her to be involved in the plot against the MC, and a number of Liam stans had reactions that ranged from stanning, to indifferent (after all, both Liam and Madeleine showed a mutual disinterest towards each other), to slightly jealous (after all, she was still his fiancée).

But it was Madeleine's treatment of Hana in Ch 7 that definitely crossed a line for quite a few. It was so unwarranted, and her justification for this act so inarguably cruel, that it turned several people off her immediately. The way canon dealt with this was to make her feature less in the story until the memory of the "chocolate incident" was faded and almost forgotten, and then encourage fans to sympathize with her.

The gamble definitely worked, with plenty of help from hardcore Madeleine stans who often downplayed what happened to Hana ("a prank", "making Hana cry just once" were some of the terms used to describe it). By TRR3, I recall having to remind some of my mutuals what actually happened in this scene - their own recollections of it were that vague. The Hana and Madeleine ship would have died a far quicker death if more people remembered this incident as it was shown, and not as narrative wanted us to remember it (and also, if more people cared that it was Hana being hurt, rather than their fave white girl/boy).

Madeleine gained some popularity among the wlw crowd - a couple of them did have a soft spot for stoic, aggressive or women often labelled as "bitchy" (I know a few who also showed a similar amount of love for ACOR's Xanthe or BB's Priya, to be fair...but the adulation for the white female antagonists was a lot more), and Madeleine clearly fit that bill.

A point that often came up from Madeleine stans who were wlw (and reiterated with other mean-girl characters) was that grey-shaded and villanous male characters weren't subject to as much censure as their favourites were. While there is truth to such an argument, it fails to take into account the role race often plays in the way some "mean" women are loved and certain others are scorned. Madeleine clearly did not have the scale of hate that a Xanthe or even a Kiara (who isn't even on the same level) got. In fact when it suited them, many in the fandom were more than ready to view Madeleine as a victim when Liam broke his engagement with her.

Madeleine's "patriotism" - as I've now clearly established - was a retcon made to erase the worst aspects of her characterization. Sometimes it was used to make people feel sorry for her losses, other times it was made to cover up her actual behaviour in TRR2. But there were very few readers who didn't consider it an undeniable fact. Even among those who were indifferent towards her. For instance, in an anon ask that compared Madeleine and QB's Poppy, a poster responded that "the difference between the two was that Madeleine had a sense of duty, and Poppy was just petty". In TRH3, players who claimed that "we can all agree Madeleine is fully redeemed" when she worked with the MC to protect the child from Bartie Sr, stayed mysteriously silent when the other consequence (her helping in the child's kidnapping because she didn't like the MC's pettiness) showed up.

And while these responses could be attributed to the way canon gassed Madeleine up in TRR2 and 3, some of these players had no problem nitpicking the political savvy or work of certain other (CoC) characters, esp Liam (often bashing them for "throwing parties every day", even though the general populace was depicted as being happy with their rule and influence. Mind you, no prompting from PB was necessary to bash these characters). So why were these parameters never applied to Madeleine? Why was practically no one asking what the political relevance of her bullying (as future Queen) was, or why we were expected to sing her praises for poor time management or terrible work ethics towards her boss, or ask what work she actually did in canon as Royal Comms Director? (There is a reference or two to the position, but you aren't shown that many instances of her doing much work). For quite a few, the fact that she walked around with a job title in TRH was more than enough (somehow Kiara never got this kind of fandom treatment despite being part of the Diplomatic Liaisons department).

How does this adulation for such a heavily retconned character, affect the way the Hana and Madeleine ship was viewed? For one, it meant that readers bought into the retcons easily enough that Hana's pairing with her was seen as an extension of her "redemption arc" by some.

Take the example of the various posts that argue in favour of this pairing, or fic that features them as a couple - a lot of them center Madeleine: her pain, her history, her reasons, the correctness of giving her a reward. Hana is barely mentioned or given much attention in these arguments - and often when she has any sort of voice, it is only there to humanize Madeleine. Supporters of this pair often took stances that were either ready to throw Hana under the bus, act like she hardly mattered, or treat her like some sort of blank slate to scribble their adulation for Madeleine over.

Hana is often viewed as less worthy of a focus - she is often the benevolent saint who forgives Madeleine because she "worked so hard to be better". Often it never matters to get into detail why Hana thought Madeleine earned her forgiveness, what Hana's perspective was, what journey she went through to get such a point. Because if Hana's journey really mattered in such a ship, the most pressing questions would revolve around why Hana should ever trust a person who wanted to break her in the first place. Why she should feel safe around such a person. Why her own friend group wouldn't want to protect her from such a person.

Some readers would bring up their parallels as daughters brought up in families that didn't value them, but neglect to take into account the nuances of those dynamics (Madeleine's mother at least wanted to be supportive, and no matter how bad things got, Madeleine was never in danger of being disowned. Hana was, repeatedly). Nor is it fully honest about how Madeleine was comfortable being a perpetrator of abuse, in contrast to Hana's own deep discomfort with the idea of controlling her partner.

In certain cases, I can maybe see this attitude in fandom emerging from an acceptance of the narrative's retcons as truth. But I also think there were as many readers who were just inclined to liking the mean white girl, and finding justifications and excuses for her behaviour.

Fandom's attitudes towards Hana herself often played a small role in how Hana's end of this story was ignored too. When TRR3 fucked up her arc phenomenally (by rushing her parents' turnaround from disowning her to supporting her in Ch 15), it became popular to view Hana as a lesser character, and the "meaner" white women as better. People who wanted other options for female LI often took their frustrations out on her, calling her "weak", servile and submissive, dismissing her honest accounts of the treatment she faced even from her own parents as "whining". If that was the way people preferred to view her emotionally abusive childhood...then what can one expect from such a fandom when she was being outright bullied?

Fandom was already comfortable with the idea of erasing Hana in their content, or replacing her with either their fave white girl (or an equally white OC esp in their fanfic - but more on that in a future Hana essay). So neglecting to center her in what would have been her only canonical alternative romance wouldn't be too difficult for some people.

Which merits the question...is there a way to write about (or write fic for) such a pairing, in a way that centers Hana, respects her story, makes it clear that she has the right to never forgive Madeleine no matter what she does to "earn" it - if that was what she wanted? I highly doubt it. You'd have to completely change Madeleine for that to happen, and that would more likely result in a situation where you were too busy working on her as a character, to give Hana the attention and focus she deserved.

And that's a real pity, because there's plenty to explore about Hana if you actually take the effort to look.

Conclusion

In a lot of ways, once the team had decided upon making Madeleine into a more positive character, they tried to draw a little from Olivia's arc to replicate its success. You can see some of these parallels in the way TRR2 structured the bachelorette as a semi-callback to the childhood- reveal-mocking-Savannah sequences in TRR1 Ch 7. Both chapters gave you reasons to start seeing these women in a different light, while still feeling free to dislike them. In both chapters they also targeted LIs - the only difference was that Drake's diamond scene post that confrontation centered him, and Hana's parallel diamond scene a book later...centered everyone else.

That attempt in TRR2 didn't work for several reasons - the timing wasn't right, Madeleine's cruelty had gone too far for some, the retconning hoodwinked quite a few people but not enough.

So when they tried to pair her up with the victim of her bullying, and twisted canon to make it happen - enough readers emerged to call it out, enough people pushed back by Ch 16, and the possibility of this alternative pairing garnered enough dislike that not only did the writers have to backtrack, but they also had to wipe away their past retcons and write in a scene where Madeleine gave Hana the full, unvarnished truth about the "chocolate incident". Hana was, thankfully, given a chance to give Madeleine her most polite "no".

And although that ship would never be brought up again, the team (even without Madeleine's top writer Jeffrey) still attempted to make pampering and uncritically praising her a narrative priority. She gained a bit more popularity during this time period - quite a few were inclined to feel sorry for her (especially considering the way her father's crimes affected her social standing) and saw only what happened if you were consistently nice to her.

But there was also a significant section of people who were tired of the constant coddling, and who didn't like that it was demanded of the player (when there were far more deserving WOC in the same book, who didn't get this level of kindness). It was significant enough that Madeleine wasn't given any scenes in the final book, and the writers cited her lack of popularity as a reason why.

As a Hana fan myself, it was a relief to see Hana not be paired up with her bully. But it was also immensely disheartening for me to see that "ship" get as far as it did, and to see the narrative do so much more work for Madeleine, than they did for Hana even in the follow up series. It was even more disheartening to see so many in fandom follow suit.

--

By now, we have explored 3 out of the 4 alternative pairings that TRR put forward for the LIs. They all vary in terms of buildup, attention, and payoff. But there are several things that are common about them. They all have either significant histories with the LI, or the narrative thinks they share something in common. The moment an "alternative" option ends up harming the MC, they are no longer suitable as an option because of the LI's loyalty towards her.

But perhaps the most common factor among the three women we have explored so far is how the LI is expected to treat the alternate, no matter how jealous the MC is allowed to get, no matter what the alternate themselves may have done in the past. The alternate is supposed to be treated well. With respect, with kindness, with compassion.

Betrayal doesn't allow an LI to treat their alternate badly. Bad behaviour doesn't allow an LI to treat their alternate badly. Disregarding consent doesn't allow an LI to treat their alternate badly. Classism doesn't allow an LI to treat their alternate badly. Not loving them back doesn't allow it either. Not even extreme levels of bullying...allows an LI to disrespect them.

In the next essay, we will see if any of these rules apply to our last alternative LI - Kiara.

Next: Drake and Kiara.

#essay series: trr's alternative lis #the royal romance #the royal heir #the royal finale #hana lee #madeleine amaranth #trr meta

[linaket]

Monthly Update (Feb 6, 2024)

It has definitely been... a January. This year, I had a lot of plans and goals relating to my writing, but a lot of them are already not going through. One was to do weekly or monthly updates, kind of like when I did weekly updates while working on TS. But, it's still early in the year, so I figure its better late than never. Also still early in the month even if I didn't manage to get this out there at the end of January...

My personal life has been a bit hectic. First thing was that some major projects in the house I planned to have completed last year were finally finished this month--I have all new windows installed in my house now, and a new door, and while I didn't personally do the windows (I did install the door, though) it takes a lot of time to prep before and clean up after reno projects and get the house back in order, so I've spent the last two weeks on this. Additionally, I'd applied for a promotion at work, and then was coated in stress waiting for the results... (which I received a few days ago... and I got it! Been a long time coming, really.)

So this is the first one of these... just gonna throw things out here and decide on a format as they go.

Books Read

Finally completed The Fifth Season trilogy by N. K. Jemison. I wanted to finish this one last year, but the last book lingered into the new year.

All the Hidden Paths by Foz Meadows

The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw

The Dead Take The A Train by Cassandra Khaw & Richard Kadrey

Important Posts

I shared a summary of my 2024 writing goals/wips on instagram. I meant to bring this over to tumblr and do a bit more on it but... didn't. Maybe this month?

Shadow's Prey: Act 1 wip intro here on tumblr

Writing

30k on Mortal Teeth. 15 chapters done of.. ?? a lot probably. 40 something, at least, if not 50-60 range. This completed the second major arc/goalpost (there are about 5 of these at the moment)

Shadow's Prey: Act 1 formatting is moving along well, and so it's still on time for a March release. I may aim more for mid March, depends on how quickly I'm able to finish up the extras and get some promo in. I really wish I could figure out exactly what size image it takes to make a full-page image in ebooks, but I think I'm going to have to settle for the title page not being... perfect. Which. Does not make me happy. But there really isn't a way to appease every e-reader, as they are all different sizes, so I am finding there is only so much I can control here.

Favorite Excerpt

I wrote a lot of things in Mortal Teeth that I was proud of this past month, but one of my favorite things I ran across when writing was realizing that my writing has improved... massively. It's been a while since I've had a leap of growth that I can easily pinpoint, but the extra I planned for SP Act 1 was partially written, and I needed to work on it. I kept getting stuck on continuing because something about it felt off/forced when I tried, so I did the classic open a new doc and retype/rework as I go... and quickly realized why I was having trouble working on it. My style had shifted dramatically....

This isn't a major point in the short, but I wrote the beginning of this around the middle of last year and it went from this:

Whereas Kanna actively ignored Masao’s approach, Ira glared at him in challenge. “Here,” Kanna said, drawing Ira’s attention by offering Amon’s reins as a lead. “Find someone to tend him, and get me a count of the survivors.” Masao’s voice at her back carried a smirk she could feel between her shoulder blades. “What about the casualties?”

to this:

While Ira glared at Masao in challenge, Kanna actively ignored him. Though she was coated with the blood of those she’d killed, her hands to her wrists to her elbows with it, Masao delighted in his stain. Even here, with the smell of death in the air and the unholy silence that followed battle, he smiled. The joy he radiated amidst destruction unsettled her, something deep inside of her flinching from it. Kanna gathered Amon’s reins, drawing Ira’s attention by offering them. “Find someone to tend him, and get me a count of the survivors.” Masao’s voice at her back carried a smirk she could feel between her shoulder blades. “What about the casualties?”

Final Thoughts

I was excited to get through another phase of MT in writing, but I don't think the time I've allotted to finish the draft is going to be enough. This stresses me out a bit, because I gave myself a pretty tight schedule for the year with all the releases (there are 4 ebooks, and I was considering restarting Act 4 in the serial which would be 5 releases total....)

I'm actually... thinking once again that I won't go back to serial posting for SP. Tapas was/is my primary platform for it, and I am simply... no longer a fan of the platform, and not really interested in others, either. So that might be one of the things in the "coming this year" that ends up pushed to next year or later this year, depending, as it will likely be an ebook release instead of serial and... I'm still working on drafting the teeth wip and I don't see it taking a backseat for a while, until I'm truly stuck.

I've been trying not to beat myself up about not doing the things I said I'd do at the start of the year (daily journaling, more updates here and other platforms, etc) because it's simply... not great for me. And really, I'm not sure I would have had the aforementioned improvement in my writing if I'd continued to stress myself out about writing itself, on top of doing all these other things that I'm supposed to do. I took it pretty easy last year after a massive disappointment, shutting down a lot of my online presence and focusing on reading and writing for myself, and I think that's what allowed me to become comfortable again and led to growth. I don't want to feel as defeated as I had that time, because its the kind of thing that would have led to me completely giving up in my younger years, and I also don't want to get stagnant because I'm trying to do too much that isn't... the actual writing. So... I guess we'll see how this goes?

#linaupdates #writeblr

[arcadialedger]

omg omg tell me more!

Okay, so…

I grew up in the Connecticut suburbs, not far from the casinos. And my sister and I were huge fans of TS’s debut album. We would insist on my parents playing it in the car and belt out the sassiest rendition of Picture to Burn you ever did hear. So, when we found out she was playing as opening act for Rascal Flatts (my parents are die hard country music fans so yes, I knew who Rascal Flatts was at age 7), we begged our parents to get tickets. We called and called, and eventually we lucked out.

About a week before the concert, we went to our local Walmart and bought TS shirts, and when the time of the concert came we showed up in cowgirl boots/ hats and our new shirts. Little did we know how much this would pay off.

So, we get to the venue early, and we see that there’s a raffle going on to get backstage tickets to meet TS, so we get in line to enter because we have time to kill. Over the speaker, they announce there’ll be two more tickets for backstage chosen in the raffle because a couple who won them over the radio couldn’t make it to the venue/ show. Well, one of the guys running the raffle sees my sister and I decked out in our country Taylor Swift getups, and walks up, pulls us aside with our parents, and asks

“How would you like to meet Taylor Swift?”

My sister and I (I am 7, she is 9), are speechless, and just squeak out “yes!”, while my parents are incredibly skeptical that this man is messing with us. Still, they follow as he leads us backstage. When we get to the room where TS is, they’re not allowed in, and they deadass almost don’t let us go, thinking this guy is trying to kidnap us. But the door cracks open as the previous raffle winner walks out and they see TS is genuinely in there, so they let us go in.

It’s all kind of a blur. She hugged us and took the picture attached in my previous post. She was very nice and very tall. My sister, who is also named Taylor, informed her that her name was also Taylor and TS was like “NO WAY! That’s so cool”.

Then they let us go and pick out the next raffle winner after our time was up, and my sister PULLED OUT HER OWN NAME from when we had entered. It was too funny.

So yeah. Then it was about time to get our seats and that was that. TS was amazing, and we left halfway through Rascal Flatts cause the sound was way too loud and not mixed well with the vocals and they kind of sucked. TS was so energetic and commanded the stage though, and did a badass rendition of Should’ve Said No while dramatically playing a giant steel drum that I’ll never forget because that song was my SHIT when I was 7.

And that’s the saga of how I met Taylor Swift when she was opening act and only had one album out! My sister and I have been Swifties from the very begging, and now she’s going to the Eras Tour this month!

#taylor swift #ts #eras tour #taylor swift eras #personal #memories

[mareastrorum]

WIP Wednesday: TF&TS (Favorites)

Here is a scene from an early of a longfic I am working on.

Fanfic Summary: Mollymauk Tealeaf survived the encounter with the Iron Shepherds, but a short time later, a spirit had begun hunting him, claiming that he stole his body. This Campaign 2 AU begins with Episode 26 and continues on from there.

This fanfic will be posted on AO3 starting in July.

Cree was about to sip her whiskey when she heard a knock at the door. Finally. Cree set the glass down and briskly walked to the door, pulling it open. However, instead of Tyffial finally arriving to her own meeting, Zoran ducked to step into the tavern bedroom sideways, a keg under one arm and four tankards in his other hand. None of the Tombtakers were with him. Cree felt the tension in her back worsen. She did not want to wait for the others with him, not when he filled silence with complaints, jabs, and general malcontent.

“Afternoon, Cree,” Zoran said flatly as he walked past to the table, avoiding Tyffial’s piles of notes strategically mapped on the floor.

“Hello, Zoran,” Cree responded with matching enthusiasm while she closed the door. “I don’t suppose you know where the rest have gone?”

Zoran set the tankards on the table before he got to work opening the keg, “Tyffial and Lucien wanted to check at the docks again to sort where the Nein’s ship’ll come in, and Otis’s in a bloody mood, so they all fucked off for a bit. Said they’d be back.”

Cree growled a sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. Wonderful. It made sense that they had left him behind for a trip that required stealth, but why couldn’t he have waited in his room? Or at the bar downstairs? She looked up at the sound of him tapping the keg and pouring out a tankard for himself.

“Please, make yourself at home,” Cree sassed as she walked back to her seat and grabbed her glass of whiskey before he helped himself to that as well.

Zoran shrugged, then offered the tankard, “Ale?”

Cree shook her head and tilted her glass. He set the tankard to the side so he could close the tap, then sat across from her and took a long drink. She sipped her whiskey; this type from the coast had more vanilla than she was used to, but just as much sting, so it helped with her distaste for this situation. Maybe she would be lucky and he would be more interested in downing the whole keg before the others got back.

But no.

“So, Cree,” Zoran drawled, “think maybe we could bring Lucien back as a bodak next time? Or maybe one of ‘em allips.”

Cree growled, then snapped, “There is no other way. How many times must I defend myself before you understand that?”

Zoran leaned back in his chair and laughed, “I ain’t raggin’ on you, not really. Just ‘avin’ some fun.”

Cree glared, biting back the instinct to chuck her glass at him. “Tell me, is it more fun to insult your teammates or to take care of the Myriad’s loose ends? You had us all fooled, thinking you enjoyed the thrill of a hunt rather than working for crime bosses in the city. You said you hated the Orders’ insistence on killing indiscriminately, that they were no better than the monsters they hunted. Was it a lie or did you change your mind?”

"A monster to fight monsters," had been the Claret Orders' unofficial motto. Their justification for delving into blood magic, a highly specialized form of necromancy that tapped into one's own soul via their blood. Each Order focused on a different form of blood magic, training and mutating initiates into something else so they could hunt otherworldly monsters.

The Tombtakers had left when they could stomach the hypocrisy no longer. But if this was what they had resorted to, had any of them really changed?

“Tch, you worked for the Myriad in Zadash,” Zoran scoffed. “Ain’t any different from wot I’ve been doin’. ‘Sides, I still get to kill monsters. Just a different kind, and this time I get to be sure of it.” He took another sip.

The fur along Cree’s spine bristled. How could he possibly compare butchering people to keeping tabs on peers? “Yes, I worked in the Myriad, but not as a torturer. My work was simply tracking those that did business with the Gentleman, not inflicting pain on the Myriad’s victims.”

Zoran barked a laugh, “Victims? Wot?”

“You think I don’t know what happens to people that cross the bosses?” Cree pressed. “They send people like you to torment them or their families.”

A deep, rolling laugh bubbled out as Zoran grinned wide. “Aye, there’s those thugs that go out and break legs and scare the kiddies and worse to the spouses. But that ain’t me. I don’t even work with those jackasses, and sometimes they’re my charge ‘cause they fucked up worse along the way.”

Cree grimaced, unconvinced. She had no delusions that Myriad leaders were comfortable lying to their underlings to keep morale up or avoid rebellion. Strangely enough, the Gentleman made a habit of being at least somewhat honorable, but that was why he was in charge of Zadash, not working his way up the ranks in Rexxentrum. Iris Bethelas, “Queen Bee,” the de facto leader in the capital, was far more practical. Far more ruthless. Heartless.

After a long pause, Zoran tilted his head, “Wot, you thought I was out torturin’ people that don’t pay protection money or somethin’? Nah. Murderers, rapists, traitors, slavers, all the worst in the Myriad that got too greedy. The ones that stepped on Queen Bee’s toes. Those’re mine.” He gave a bloodthirsty grin, the same that showed up before every duel. “Not a proper chase, but it kept me busy.”

“You truly think none of them were innocent?” Cree prodded, with less bite than before. She had not expected this, but he seemed convinced of what he was saying.

Zoran finished off his ale before replying confidently, “Every single one of the ones I carved up deserved wot ‘appened to ‘em. Maybe they got sent to me for somethin’ else, but they’re all the worst of Rexxentrum and the Myriad. Not their kids, family, friends. Only the fuckers that stepped wrong and got caught. No one, not a single bloody one, was innocent.”

Cree sighed, shooting the rest of her whiskey before staring down at the table in thought. Zoran was not the sharpest in the group, but he was not clueless either. He had decent instincts for reading people—rather, better than most of the other Tombtakers. So, as much as she wished she could argue the point that a torturer was not a good path, it sounded like he had managed to find a niche in the Myriad that did not rot the soul, just as she had.

What did that say of the both of them, that they were willing to work with such horrid people as long as the blood on their own hands was the right kind? Was that all the improvement they had managed since leaving the Orders?

Once Cree looked up again, Zoran was watching her, not quite as cold as he had been before. But still bloodthirsty, like he was tracking prey.

Zoran spoke low, as if he wanted to be sure only she heard even though there was no one else in the room, “Y’know, maybe we’re monsters, but it’s not for wot we been up to since Lucien died. We did worse at the Orders, and you know it.”

Every muscle in Cree’s back tensed as she pressed her ears against her head and clenched her jaw shut. Decent instincts, indeed, because he had gone through the same line of thinking. She could not fault him for throwing a spike through her heart after how she chose to lead this conversation, but it riled her all the same.

“Wot’s the worst they made you do?” Zoran pressed with a dark chuckle.

Cree snarled at him, “I do not wish to discuss that.”

Zoran snorted, “You came after me, callin’ me fucked up for bein’ a torturer. Oh, I’m fucked up, but not for that. Know wot I did at the Orders? I didn’t just kill fiends and undead. I killed people ‘cause the Orders insisted they were the ones summonin’ the damn things. Tch. They were bloody morons. Farmers tryin’ to fix sick fields by sacrificing starvin’ kids, not knowin’ the soothsayer wot told ‘em to was a fey collectin’ parts. Merchants sellin’ tokens cursed by cultists ‘cause they thought they were for some new god of prosperity. Tieflings ‘cause their neighbors wanted the devil-bloods gone and lied to the Orders that they were warlocks tradin’ in souls. So convenient those missions left a buncha orphans with nowhere to go and their villages wanted ‘em gone and the Orders always needed new blood. All those kiddies joined up, fresh bodies for the Bane, and the few that lived got just as fucked up as we did.”

Cree frowned, gripping her empty glass tightly. She had heard as much from Tyffial, but hoped that perhaps it was just the elf’s brand of vicious rumor. All of the Tombtakers had clashed with the various leadership of the Orders in some way or another. It was simultaneously disgusting and heartwarming to know that Zoran had done such things and regretted it. But he had done it all the same, and he had stayed at the Orders for years, far longer than the rest of them.

“You knew and still did it?” Cree asked softly. She meant to carry more anger in her voice, but, well, apparently she was not as willing to target the goliath as she had thought.

Zoran laughed coldly as refilled his tankard from the keg, “We only ever found out after the fact ‘cause the ones leadin’ the missions don’t let us ask questions, don’t let us figure shit out ourselves. Told us to keep our mouths shut 'cause it’d fuck with morale. And any time I went to the leaders, they didn’t believe a damn word ��cause it’s me against the favorites. Or they already knew.” He took a long drink.

“Why did you stay?” Cree continued, now more confused than bitter.

“Sure, I coulda left,” Zoran shrugged. “Nowhere to fuckin’ go, but maybe they’d let me leave ‘cause no one’d believe me anyway, or maybe they’d cut me down just to be sure. It wasn’t gonna stop nothin’, change nothin’. So I stayed, and years on, Lucien banded a group to get out, so I joined in.”

Cree pondered that for a moment, and, thankfully, Zoran let the silence linger. Many of the Orders’ leaders had been extremists willing to do anything so long as it meant eradicating fiends, undead, and fey from Wildemount. There were some who genuinely wanted to do right by the lower ranks and the common folk, but they had not stopped the harassment against Lucien and other tieflings, nor the avoidable slaughter of bystanders if it would give the Orders’ teams an edge in a fight. Those occurrences were always “unfortunate mistakes” by “a few bad eggs” that repeated over and over and over. Tolerable sins.

That same leadership also refused to take any criticism of their recruitment of children. The Hunter’s Bane was a taxing, dangerous ritual to join the ranks. Children were not warned of the risks because it was more effective if it was applied when they were young. If they survived.

A man’s sneer echoed in Cree’s mind, “Better they die to the Bane than a devil.”

Cree forced an exhale and poured herself another glass of whiskey. It would do her no good to get riled up thinking about that. The Tombtakers had left all that behind for good reason.

“We are not monsters for doing what we thought we needed to,” Cree said half-heartedly as she looked back at Zoran. “We can’t always do the right thing in a world this warped.”

It wasn’t the truth, and it wasn’t a lie. It was what Cree wanted to be true. An aspiration? Did that apply to past deeds? Was it wrong to do what you thought you had to, even if you knew you would never do it otherwise?

“We’re all monsters, Cree,” Zoran insisted, dark eyes staring her down. “Just ‘cause we started over with the Tombtakers don’t change wot we did. We did better, aye, or at least not as bad. We came up with lines in the dirt that we said we wouldn’t cross, but that don’t undo nothin’. And now we’re waitin’ in ambush for some fucker that don’t know nothin’ ‘cause Lucien’s ghost says the prick needs to die.”

Rage riled up quickly, as though it lit the alcohol in her veins aflame. Cree bit back, “What, we should just leave Lucien as a spirit, then? Give up? Then we wouldn’t be monsters?”

“No,” Zoran said plainly. “I’d pick Lucien any day over some jackass I don’t know. But I won’t pretend it’s cause we’re doing somethin’ right. It’s got nothin’ to do with ‘im bein’ the Nonagon and wot we’re gonna do once we bring back Cognouza, all that talk ‘bout fixin’ shit. We’re doin’ it ‘cause Lucien’s one of ours. That’s all it takes for us to start throwin’ rules out the bloody window.”

“It is called loyalty,” Cree replied bitterly. Does that make it any better?

“Call it anythin’ you like,” Zoran retorted. “But we’re still monsters. We’d kill anyone if we thought we needed to, we’d torture, maim, butcher, all that. Don’t really like it as much ‘cause it’s not sportin’, but we’ll do it.”

Cree sat quietly for several moments, sipping her whiskey before responding, “It won’t come to that.”

“Wot, you think that moron in Lucien’s skin and all ‘em l’il buddies ain’t innocent?” Zoran chuckled.

“They are mercenaries,” Cree answered spitefully. “They have killed plenty. They lied to Otis and I that the thief was Lucien.”

Zoran nodded. “Aye, ‘cause the fucker wanted to live. Can’t ‘old that against no one. Still gonna kill ‘im, but the bastard’s no bloody different than those farmers, those merchants, those parents. We’re killin’ ‘im ‘cause the Somnovem said so and ‘cause Lucien said so, not ‘cause we know wot the fuck we’re doin’. And once the thief’s dead, those mercs’re gonna come after us if they actually gave a shit, and then we’ll kill ‘em too. ‘Owever many it takes, s’long as it gets Lucien back.”

The burn in Cree’s blood did not subside. She was angry. Yet, she could not deny that Zoran had seen right through her. She did not know why the Somnovem had insisted that Lucien kill the thief nor why they had taught her how to summon him as an undead rather than anything else. But she had done as she was told because it was the only way to bring Lucien back.

She was angry at herself. For not finding another way. For turning her back on all her intentions to guide the Tombtakers to being better than those that had done them wrong. It was not fair, not right, but she had made her choices.

A tabaxi, a tiefling, a goliath, two elves, and a halfling, all willing to do anything for each other because they had no one else? Because they had bonded at the Claret Orders? Did they even have a reason?

Cree let a deep sigh loose, “You are right. We are a mess, aye?” She laughed cynically. “I do not even know what to call us. Friends, family, tribe, team, compatriots. None of those seem right.”

“We ain’t friends,” Zoran spat, drawing her attention. “Friends fuck each other over when times’re rough. We ain’t family, ‘cause they’ll leave you behind when it’s a choice between ‘em or you. We ain’t a tribe 'cause they’ll cast you out if you ain’t wot they wanted. Nah, there ain’t a word for wot we are. We picked a buncha favorites, and we’ll raze the bloody world to the ground on another’s say so. The only reason we ‘aven’t is ‘cause none of us wanted to yet.”

Cree sighed, tilting the glass in a circle to watch the liquor swirl inside as she spoke, “How is it that you are so certain when I am supposed to be the most faithful?”

Zoran laughed and shook his head, “I’m the one that’s just gonna do wot’s asked since I don’t got a better idea. You’re the one tryin’ to make it make sense while you do it.” He paused for another drink and shrugged. “Worryin’s your thing, Cree. Lucien picked you for ‘is second for a reason, and it’s not ‘cause you’re pals. You see things different. Go on tryin’ to be the goodie-goodie. S’not bad. We’ll try since it’s wot you want, but don’t go feelin’ guilty when we go back on it ‘cause one of us is at stake. S’why you brought ‘im back as a ghost, innit? I’ll sure as fuck give you a time after all the bollocks you threw my way, but that’s not ‘cause I think you’re wrong. I sure as balls don’t know right from wrong. S’just talk.”

As abrasive as Zoran was, Cree still felt better. She had misjudged both of them. Here she thought she was going to counsel him on how to correct his ways. Instead, he had seen the situation for what it was and had resolved to follow through for Lucien’s sake. She had been pretending that there was something noble about their circumstances.

No. Cree had not shattered Lucien’s soul like DeRogna, but turning him into an undead was heinous. She had done it because it was the only way the Tombtakers could bring him back to life—because the Somnovem assured her it was so. She could dress it up as she pleased, but it was desecration all the same.

All she could do was ensure that it was worth it by bringing Lucien back properly.

“Thank you, Zoran,” Cree added after chewing on the words a moment. “I needed to hear that.” She paused before shifting her tone to a livid warning, “But if you joke about bringing Lucien back as an undead again, you will never have another ale in peace.”

Zoran’s only response was a belly laugh.

#TF&TS #wip wednesday #critical role fanfiction #the tombtakers #cree deeproots #zoran kluthidol

[randomnameless]

24, 28, and 30 for the ask game?

24. An FE title you wish would be remade?

Once upon a time I would have said FE Jugdral, but with this fanbase and the current "morally early grey only if it's to defend a morally black fave", nope, no Jugdral.

OTOH, Elibe would be nice.

It is more nuanced than "Redshit's FE16" and doesn't have a lot of nonsense that might make some completely twist the game to make Nergal/Zephiel out to be "poor misunderstood faves who were right Eliwood BaD".

28. Because this fandom doesn’t see enough discourse [citation needed], post a spicy hot take here🔥🔥

hahahaha

Let's go wild : I think Nanna is not Finn's biological daughter, even in the FE5 canon

30. Since horse abuse is currently popular on Tumblr, beat up a dead horse with your take on an oversaturated topic🐴

So, anything about FE16 ?

Let's see... the "WaR" was not inevitable, as in the war where "Adrestia launches the invasion of Northern Adrestia, Mountainous Adrestia and Eastern Adrestia to get rid of the lizard illuminati and reunite Adrestia as it used to be".

The Mole men apparently cannot usurp the Emperor, so if the Emperor doesn't declare war on the world, Fodlan should only see skirmirshes (with some repercussions though, think of FE7).

Even if Dimitri learnt Uncle was behind the Tragedy of Duscur, I don't see how asking for him to be brought to Faerghus to get "justice" would start a war, given how Aegir, who is the de facto leader of Adrestia, wouldn't risk starting a war over saving Arundel's ass, especially as Uncle, not the real Volkhard, doesn't seem to be super close to him, or part of his "fellow co-conspirators".

If he ever refuses, even if the worldbuilding is shaky, I suppose it would simply start a civil war in Adrestia, because the people living in Arundel might be tempted to believe it, especially if 50 of them are missing each month to make new Waldis - plus whoever is working on the Baldo project, Imperial Demonic Beasts are a common thing when Flamey attacks the monastery and are associated with Adrestia, you won't make me believe it was only done in Thales's basement.

At worst Adrestia kills the Faerghian messenger, and we have a FE10 situation where both countries are at war - meanwhile Rhea's tearing her hair out because damn those humans they are warring again what should I do to stop it, and the Alliance adopts a "Wait'n'See" approach.

In either way, it's not a full continental drawn out war like FE16's post TS.

even if no one wants to get rid of the lizard illuminati :'(

#anon #fe meme #controversies all around #each FE16 take is now a deadhorse #debunked to oblivion but also present somewhere in some corners of redshit or even here on TUmblr #Elibe remakes can also act as a wall to soak all of the toxic fandom so when Jugdral remakes will be released we will have a new breathing #space #or so i hope

[jeanmoreaux]

Hey previous anon here! I’m incredibly OC and when I hear a song I like I want it on repeat for me to listen to until my ears bleed (hence my frustration with YLM by ts being a CD exclusive —-for now—- is so annoying at the moment 🫥 since I have to keep pressing replay on YT instead of setting it to repeat like I usually do and don’t have to worry about the loop)

Same I agree, the new deluxe edition or whatever isn’t that exciting to me at all. It’s more of me singling out which songs truly stand out and the saddest ones seem to be the ones (just recently heard Hits Different and YLM so…)

I will appreciate more Lana Del Rey though in SOTB; the song sounds better with her presence actually felt (finally)

Midnights in general was meh to me because it somehow felt lacking or the songs were always too short or started strong then faded too early—-something like this. But this is all personal preference!

p.s. my fave ts album is her OG debut album for a) sentimentality reasons and b) being forever impressed at her songwriting abilities with her being so very young at that time—and I’m a big admirer of writers who do their craft so well 🦑

P.s.s. (Is this how this works?)

My other fave album was Red (not Taylor version pls don’t kill me)—- it felt very raw and far more authentic than the recent ‘Taylor version’. I just can’t forgive how The Last Time sounds less compelling during the instrumental break and Better Man sounds very mediocre I preferred her live performance of it ….idk it felt rushed and not thought out (to me). But one of my favorite songs of all time is on Taylor’s version and it’s Nothing New

ohh well as for the replaying a song on a loop: do you have the possibility to download the mp3 and upload it on whatever device you listen on? ((e.g. this post with a download link)) that’s how i do it whenever there’s a song i love but isn’t on streaming. because yes you’re right it’s soooo annoying to always have to manually press the replay button!!! ((that’s also what i did with hits different when it was a traget exclusive. really had a moment with it earlier this year. ngl i feel like if that song had been on streaming earlier it could have take the top spot for the year maybe.)) i feel like i am one of the only people who is likes og sotb better than the one with more lana lol but that’s a very me thing since i don’t really listen to her music that much. ohhh you’re a debut truther!! nice! i’m very much a speak now girlie, probably for nostalgic reasons too (it’s when i really discovered her music beyond the radio singles). lover & folklore & fearless are very near and dear to my heart as well. uhh yes red is such a fan favourite!! it has some of my fav songs (atw, state of grace, holy ground, begin again). and yeah, nothing new i such a good song!

#thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! #anon #answer

[madara-fate]

If you think Sakura’s love was a source of strength then how do you explain how it never amounted to a hype moment where all we see is empowerment? She shields Sasuke from Gaara, then what? Cool moment, it even made Naruto recall LOW events, but it’s followed up by her held hostage, savior Naruto saving the day, Sasuke taking the L, telling her Naruto saved her… bc she believed it had to have been Sasuke, but it wasn’t. Perfectly anchored into that trope.

She never got to actually save Sasuke as all her attempts were tanked in order to make Naruto do it. Which is 1 thing, but she didn’t even get /slightly/ successful or lay the groundwork for naruto. between 181 & 693 she’s confined to the same disposition towards Sasuke, implore him, get knocked out, have Naruto do more. Like there’s been absolutely 0 growth in between. Even Naruto who took the VOTE1 L, still actually displayed a peak at that point, Sakura didn’t. He made their parting a classic drama break up rather than a ninja showdown. What’s worse is that after failing to muster up the courage to kill Sasuke post summit, she actually verbalizes the powerlessness. She compares herself to Naruto who’s determined with a rock solid resolve, while she can’t do or even say anything & wavers. She ends it at “all i can do is trust them” how’s that empowerment? It’s the opposite of that, it’s a set back, accepting belonging to a lesser league. Her will to save Sasuke bc of her love, amounts to trusting the great Naruto to do it for her. Exactly my point lol. Previously she tells Naruto she’ll join him, he should wait for her, but it doesn’t amount to anything. forest of death was made about Sasuke, Naruto AND Lee. When she speaks of being behind, she means behind both Naruto & Sasuke, it was that disposition that motivated her not her feelings for Sasuke alone. We see very early on how she can’t introduce herself or voice her dream bc of her feelings for Sasuke, Kakashi says girls that age care more about love than ninjutsu. In the bell test she’s more worried about Sasuke than the test itself, it’s her demise, and ofc the cherry on top before sasuke explains to her that he has someone to kill, she tries to get him to give up as they’d get separated due to the power gap. Now of course the MC needed his wins but it’s hard to comprehend why NS couldn’t work together at any point without having Sakura immediately axed from the clash like the first time they met Sasuke post TS. Tsunade & Jiraya got to square up against Orochimaru… anyways that’s what i mean and i find it so weird people don’t see it when it’s beyond obvious. all of Sakura’s peaks are actually distant from all that. I don’t view her love as an addiction bc it was a simple school crush that blossomed into true love once they met each other, but my perception as a fan doesn’t negate the creator’s perception, and since he doesn’t understand girls (barely respects the gender if you ask me) can’t write romance it’s not that crazy to think that’s how he views it. Most of his prominent female characters have an exaggerated romantic aspect to their personas and character arcs while for male characters it’s simply an afterthought, exception being Obito although the Rub stuff felt more like a tired plot device than real romantic development, and to think that he made half of the romantic aspect for Sakura’s character be associated with negativity because it clashed with the MC amongst other things, truly speaks volumes.

If you think Sakura’s love was a source of strength then how do you explain how it never amounted to a hype moment where all we see is empowerment?

The mere fact that you actually believe that the only way to prove that Sakura's love for Sasuke served as a source of strength is for her to have had "a hype moment", really says all I need to know about how you see love and its worth, goodness gracious man...

She shields Sasuke from Gaara, then what? Cool moment, it even made Naruto recall LOW events, but it’s followed up by her held hostage, savior Naruto saving the day, Sasuke taking the L, telling her Naruto saved her… bc she believed it had to have been Sasuke, but it wasn’t. Perfectly anchored into that trope.

And you honestly don't see the toxicity behind this perspective? You honestly believe that just because Sakura got taken hostage and that Naruto was ultimately the one to defeat Gaara, that somehow means that the significance of Sakura's actions towards Sasuke was non existent? That's kinda crazy.

Let's look at another example - Hinata. She put her life on the line to save Naruto's life from Pain, because she loved him. It doesn't matter that she ultimately didn't defeat Pain, because that wasn't the point. The point was how her love motivated her to stare death in the face and confront it head on, and that was the hype moment.

Similarly, the mere fact that Sakura opted to sacrifice her life to protect Sasuke (which worked by the way, Gaara was going for the kill there, and Sakura saved him from death), was enough to illustrate how her love for Sasuke served as a source of strength. Previously when confronted by Orochimaru in the Forest of Death, she was absolutely petrified in fear at the murderous intent before her:

But when facing Gaara, she stared death directly in the face, and never hesitated in the slightest:

Why? Because she was trying to save Sasuke's life, and it worked. Her love for Sasuke was far more powerful than any fear she may have had, and it served as her strength to stand her ground. So I don't know why you're trying to tell me how Sakura's love never served as a source of strength, despite this and several other examples directly proving you wrong. Just because Sakura then got taken hostage and Sasuke wasn't the one to bring Gaara down, that doesn't take anything away from the significance of that scene.

She never got to actually save Sasuke as all her attempts were tanked in order to make Naruto do it.

Wrong. As I've already highlighted above, Sakura successfully saved Sasuke from Gaara. She also saved him from losing himself to the Curse Seal during the Forest of Death, and she saved him again when he was trapped in the other dimension. Not to mention when she saved both him and Naruto from bleeding out at the end of their 2nd fight. So your definition of "saving", is severely skewed.

Between 181 & 693 she’s confined to the same disposition towards Sasuke, implore him, get knocked out, have Naruto do more. Like there’s been absolutely 0 growth in between.

Are you serious? Are you actually serious? Let me jog your memory.

When Sasuke was leaving the village, she confessed, and tried to stop him with words.

During their reunion at Orochimaru's hideout, she tried to attack him, her attack was interrupted, but the intent was there.

During their reunion in the Land of Iron, she initially tried to trick him, and after that didn't work, she tried to kill him, and had the opportunity to, but couldn't do it because she still loved him and knew he could still be saved. There, Sakura's love for Sasuke stopped her from making a big mistake, because she was ultimately right - Sasuke could still be saved, and he was.

Then during her second confession, she tried using words again, because what else was she going to do?

It's like you and many other people think that just because Sakura didn't foolishly try to fight Sasuke in that instance, it means that she was a stupid fangirl who lost all her development and regressed. What good would attacking him have done? She was clearly no match for him, and it's not like she hadn't tried to in the past, which you failed to acknowledge. So tell me, where was all the "imploring" and "getting knocked out" between chapters 181 and 693?

Even Naruto who took the VOTE1 L, still actually displayed a peak at that point, Sakura didn’t. He made their parting a classic drama break up rather than a ninja showdown.

And what on earth does that prove?

What’s worse is that after failing to muster up the courage to kill Sasuke post summit, she actually verbalizes the powerlessness. She compares herself to Naruto who’s determined with a rock solid resolve, while she can’t do or even say anything & wavers. She ends it at “all i can do is trust them” how’s that empowerment? It’s the opposite of that, it’s a set back, accepting belonging to a lesser league.

"Accepting belonging to a lesser league"? Where did you even get that from? How does one's decision to let other people resolve their issues, in any way amount to classifying yourself as a lesser being? I mean seriously, what are you talking about? Sakura's love for Sasuke and the effect it has on her isn't being called into question here. It's the fact that she can't exchange fists with Sasuke in the same way that Naruto can. It's the fact that she had resolved to kill Sasuke, and that's what she wavered from, which is not a bad thing.

You're asking "how's that empowerment", when no one said that it was supposed to show empowerment. Not every scene that Sasuke and Sakura are in has to showcase some huge hype scene about the power of love, but you're acting as if this somehow means that her love for Sasuke has never been showcased as such, when I've already proven that to be wrong multiple times already.

Her will to save Sasuke bc of her love, amounts to trusting the great Naruto to do it for her. Exactly my point lol.

Yet another example of not only your severely warped idea of what "saving" means, but also on your problematic perspective regarding how apparently, "empowerment" only matters if you have "a hype moment" and defeat the big bad of the arc. It apparently can't be depicted in any other manner.

Her will to save Sasuke because of her love, amounted to her putting her life on the line to protect him from Gaara (which was "a hype moment" if I've ever seen one). It amounted to her resolving to get stronger so she could help bring him back. It amounted to her never truly giving up on the idea that he could be saved, despite how consumed in darkness he was. It amounted to her pushing herself beyond her limits to the point of almost passing out, in order to save him from the other dimension. But of course, all of that is meaningless to you right?

Previously she tells Naruto she’ll join him, he should wait for her, but it doesn’t amount to anything.

How does it not amount to anything? She kept her word, she got stronger, and went with him. Just because they didn't bring Sasuke back in that instance, doesn't mean the journey was pointless.

forest of death was made about Sasuke, Naruto AND Lee. When she speaks of being behind, she means behind both Naruto & Sasuke, it was that disposition that motivated her not her feelings for Sasuke alone.

No one said otherwise, so why are you even mentioning all of this in the first place?

We see very early on how she can’t introduce herself or voice her dream bc of her feelings for Sasuke, Kakashi says girls that age care more about love than ninjutsu. In the bell test she’s more worried about Sasuke than the test itself, it’s her demise, and ofc the cherry on top before sasuke explains to her that he has someone to kill, she tries to get him to give up as they’d get separated due to the power gap. Now of course the MC needed his wins but it’s hard to comprehend why NS couldn’t work together at any point without having Sakura immediately axed from the clash like the first time they met Sasuke post TS. Tsunade & Jiraya got to square up against Orochimaru… anyways that’s what i mean and i find it so weird people don’t see it when it’s beyond obvious. all of Sakura’s peaks are actually distant from all that. I don’t view her love as an addiction bc it was a simple school crush that blossomed into true love once they met each other, but my perception as a fan doesn’t negate the creator’s perception, and since he doesn’t understand girls (barely respects the gender if you ask me) can’t write romance it’s not that crazy to think that’s how he views it.

I don't even know what the point of all of that was. You weren't reinforcing any of your points, nor did you attempt to refute any of mine. It just seems like a weird tangent.

Most of his prominent female characters have an exaggerated romantic aspect to their personas and character arcs while for male characters it’s simply an afterthought, exception being Obito although the Rub stuff felt more like a tired plot device than real romantic development

Not true, but again, this is completely off topic and I'm not gonna get into that discussion here.

and to think that he made half of the romantic aspect for Sakura’s character be associated with negativity because it clashed with the MC amongst other things, truly speaks volumes.

You're justifying the claim that Sakura's love was associated with negativity because it apparently clashed with the MC? How did Sakura's love for Sasuke clash with Naruto? It never created any friction between them, they resolved to save Sasuke together, and Naruto was one of the biggest supporters of Sakura's love for Sasuke, so where was this supposed clash? And why would it even automatically be a seen as a negative thing if it did clash with the MC? Just because Naruto also liked her at one point, doesn't mean her feelings for Sasuke were automatically bad, goodness.

#Sasuke Uchiha #Sakura Haruno #sasusaku #Naruto Uzumaki

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

The Voyage So Far: Punk Hazard

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

nami i love you

i reread nami’s backstory for the east blue post shortly before sitting down to write this one up, and it made her insistence on helping the punk hazard children hit a little different for me. they’re victimized and exploited kids, just like she was. 

law’s devil fruit is genuinely one of my favorites, as well as, in my opinion, one of the visually coolest by far, and i love all the cool displays of it we get both in this arc and the next one

i know law gets clowned on a lot this arc, and that’s fantastic too, but he also has a lot of genuinely cool panels, especially early on

characters that remind me how gay i am

relatedly, i do think monet has one of the best visual designs introduced in the new world, especially for a character who, ultimately, is a minor antagonist. i’m not just saying that because she’s hot, either- her wings and talons flow so well with the rest of her design while giving her a monstery look that will later come out FULL force when she turns into a full-on snow monster.

law saying he’s free to go wherever he wants, and his chopping up anyone who even dares to question that right, hits a lot harder knowing his backstory and cora’s final words and thoughts

alliance time!! this was eight and a half years ago in real time, and these two are still working together. i kind of like thinking about this from law’s point of view, because he allied with the strawhats solely to have a few more hands on deck for his dressrosa suicide plot and definitely never assumed he would be around to actually go through with the ‘fighting kaidou’ part of the plan.

joke’s on him. he allied with the strawhats.

luffy’s smile here makes me very happy 

kinda like thriller bark, punk hazard is another pretty teamwork-based arc, which is something i really love. it’s particularly fun in this case because there’re a bunch of vastly different people and groups thrown together (the strawhats; smoker, tashigi and the g-5 guys; law; kin’emon (and momo)) who are all very different and yet can work very well together when needs must. 

smoker and tashigi get a downgrade in prominence post-timeskip, mostly because the introduction of armament haki means smoker just can’t be the threat he used to be anymore, and i have particular problems with tashigi’s treatment in this arc that i’ve written about before, but- all that said, smoker is still really, really good character in punk hazard, especially in his interactions with vergo and law. 

i really love when little, forgettable details come up in ways you might not expect- of course nami’s heat ball hard counters monet’s powers, at least momentarily. she’s made of snow. oda is really incredible of keeping track of little things like this.

i may have issues with the monet fight but god if this isn’t sexy as hell 

of the strawhats, i think chopper is actually one of the ones who shines the most in punk hazard. chopper has some of his best moments when faced with so-called ‘doctors’ who use science to hurt and dehumanize others, directly spitting on everything chopper values and believes in and everything hiriluk died for. he’s really good in thriller bark for the same reason. 

this is one of my very favorite luffy panels. 

law defeating (and ultimately killing) vergo is highly satisfying just on a first read with only context from this arc, given vergo’s earlier torture of law and his betrayal of the g-5 men’s trust in him, but it takes on an entire new dimension with the knowledge of law’s backstory and just what vergo did to him and cora. 

fishman island might be the first major arc after the timeskip, but punk hazard, specifically law’s new era speech at the end of it, strike me as much more emblematic and a much better introduction of what the entire post-ts era of the story is about. it’s not just about survival anymore- it’s about directly, proactively confronting the old, entrenched systems of power that rule the world and then tearing them down to make room for a new world and a new age.

i’ve written... a lot of meta about the donquixote family, their strange, abusive cultishness and the obsessive love and loyalty they hold for doflamingo and how he doesn’t value them in nearly the same way, but this panel in particular is one that sticks with me. 

i think this is the only time anyone other than luffy is described as “the man who will become the pirate king” (海賊王になる男/kaizoku-ou ni naru otoko). monet is ready to die for doflamingo, and this is her last thought. it ties very effectively into the twisted parallels between the donquixote pirates and the strawhats.

it might be obvious by now, but i’m a huge sucker for group shots

i couldn’t find a good place to mention it earlier, but i really love how kin’emon and momonosuke are introduced in this arc. they’re introduced as fairly inconsequential characters with no real indication that they’ll be anywhere near as important as they will be in the future. 

and yet at the same time, there are a lot of details from this arc that make a lot more sense having read wano- momo’s fear of heights, kin’emon’s dislike of dragons, momo’s unwillingness to eat food given to him that hasn’t been taste-tested (definitely something he learned as a shogun’s son, and also probably what saved him from suffering the same fate as the other kids). oda is on a storytelling level i can’t even conceive.

doflamingo has already been pretty thoroughly established as a very dangerous person ever since his introduction back in jaya, but his absolutely destroying smoker and nearly killing him just for not telling him what wants to know really drives the point home, just in time for him to come to the fore as main antagonist of the next arc.

#the voyage so far #long post #one piece #opmeta #arc: punk hazard #not japanese

[yourclownpal]

A comprehensive list of all my Ghost au's

this post will be talking about all of the ghost au's ive created or co-created including talking about ghost au's from old fandom's that i am no longer in. if you want to ask about any of my au's my ask box and dm's are always open this includes the hermitcraft au but keep it to a minimum please also if any of the creator's of the characters have said that they arent comfortable with what im making ( with proof ofc) i will edit or delete what is needed to fit in the boundaries also another thing this is a long post if you just want the art go under the cut! this post will discuss how each au works and basic plot stuff about them the fandoms in this post are hermitcraft, epithet erased, and dsmp okay first things first-

my hermitcraft au (what a pity)-

On my old tumblr account I made a few posts about it along with a fanfic which never got finished due to me not wanting to interact with the fandom any more due to personal reasons and also I'm not very good at writing imo but I think I'm ready to talk about it again. Just keep in mind i will most likely not talk about this fandom ever again at least not on here again for personal preference : -) it was about season 6 Grian since he was who i was hyperfixating on at the time, being haunted by the ghosts of Sam and Taurtis, both of them from the old roleplay series' Yandere High School, and Tokyo Soul, and taurtis from Grians old-ish smp Evo. Since I never finished the fanfiction nobody but me and close friends ever got to hear the full story i had planned but now you will i guess. It was mainly just grian stressing about Sam and Taurtis being ghosts and him worrying about being crazy, though he would still join the hippies during the area 77 war he would be significantly more stressed especially when finding out that Sam and Taurtis have been possessing his body during the night, he’s more worried about Sam though because of his track record back in the other servers( yhs and ts) it was going to be that Sam (although death isn't permanent) would go on a killing spree in Grians body which would cause the area 77 guys to put him in the facility to see what's going on with him, and it didn't get further then that. My favorite part of this au much like all of my au’s were the design elements i had for it which i'll have under the cut with the other designs. Now for a rundown of how the ghost physics work in this world, in typical ghost fashion Sam and Taurtis were not able to touch or move anything, but they were able to interact with Grian, him being the only person who could see/hear/or touch them. Their only super natural abilities is being able to possess Grian.

Okay! Time for my Epithet Erased au!: Unlike what a pity this one doesn't have a name or a fanfic to go with it as said before i'm not exactly a writer but i have talked about it a bit before on this account along with posting the designs and general concept but i'll go more in depth here! As said in my original post this au was a co-creation with my best friend and sibling @brocolibean so go check bun out ^^ Unlike ‘What a Pity’ it was more lighthearted and comedy centric because it dealt with a bit more and also the original show is a comedy. This au didn't include the character’s epithets so they are all humans. This will also include talking about house each ghost died so if your uncomfortable hearing about that you might want to skip the ghosts portion Just like the original post I'll separate the story summary into 3 parts with intervals in between to talk about the ghosts. First we have the Banzai boys part of the story. Giovanni, Spike, Dark Star, Crusher, Flame Thrower, Car Crash, and Ben all decide to move into a house together so they could all easily split the rent since its close to their collage, the house, which they get for cheap, is aa very old house with sketchy history. But it's a huge house for cheap so they don't complain they encounter the ghosts very early on living in the house and they swear to figure out how they died so they can get their memory back! The ghosts, Molly, Sylvie, Trixie, and Pheonica have no memory! All they know is that there are ghosts! They are connected to the property of this house but if you where to get something- like perhaps a stone from the property the ghost is still technically attached to it therefore the ghost can go with you anywhere Speaking of- -Phoenicia Fleecity is one of the last ghosts to show herself, her body is found in the overgrown garden flowers growing over her skeleton, she is from the victorian era making her the oldest out of the ghosts though he death is the most mysterious -Molly Blindeff is the first ghost the group meets her decomposed body is found buried in the floorboards of the living room, found when gio decided that the house needed renovation and taking matters into his own hands, she died via blunt force trauma i will not be going into detail here because i'm still thinking of doing something with this au she died in the early 2000’s -Sylvester Ashling is the second ghost to show himself though he didn't want to, his body was found in the bottom of the pond in the backyard of the house in the garden. His body while it was decomposing and falling apart was still intact, bloated from drowning. Again i wont go into detail but this wasn't an accident time of death is unknown -Trixie Roughhouse is the third person to show themselves to the Banzai Blasters she is found in the bushes in the backyard her face disfigured from some sort of explosion unlike the others it seems like it was purely an accident, like sylvie their time of death is unknown Mera Salamin is the collages part time librarian nicknamed “the library witch” she started seeing her ghost after obtaining a neck bow with a blue pendant from a pawnshop she got it cause it was pretty and didn't expect a himbo to come along with it -Indus Tarbella is a ghost who is attached to the pendant and bow Mera wear it used to be his own until he was decapitated wearing it through he was properly buried he has no troublesome memories about what happened even after seeing his body he’s just happy to be with Mera Percival King is a security guard at the college and one of the best at that, she wields a story she got from a pawn shop as its her preferred weapon she takes her job very seriously -Ramsey and Zora both died by the same sword while fighting neither remember who wielded the sword, even after death they hate each other and hate being bound together even more Everyone ends up meeting and finding out they all have ghost hijinks ensue. The way ghosts work in this world is a bit strange I'll admit but it's one of my favorites. The ghosts can interact with the human world(menma style) but

they can only talk to the others who can see them (the Banzai Blasters, mera and percy) and the ghosts can interact with each other ghosts in this au attach themselves to an item or property that has someway to do with their death, the kids in the property, Indus it's the bow, and the sword duo is well, the sword Percy carries. As alluded to from before Gio and the rest of the boys end up carrying a bit of the property with them in the form of friendship bracelets four for each of them which makes 28 different bracelets so the kids can decide who to follow around for the day.i talked about how percy and Mera’s items work enough but i would like to mention that Indus does most of the heavy lifting around the library but becaus enoone else can see indus they assume she’s magical, the glowing pendant doesn't help.

The last two au’s i want to talk about are both dream smp au’s

though i've never talked about them online until now, again thanks to @brocolibean for letting me brain vomit my way through these au’s and helping me out with things i love them please check him out I'll be honest i'm so scared of this fandom so i'm afraid to talk about my au’s please be nice to me Also this is all roleplay and fiction!<3 The first one i'll talking about is the dsmp ghost hunters au Sam runs a company where groups of people hunt ghosts for money! Those groups being Phil, Technoblade, Wilbur,Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo Dream, George, Sapnap, Quackity, Karl Bad, ant, Skeppy, and Puffy There’s most likely more but there the only people i can think of at this moment The only canonical ghost being Schlatt This au doesn't have a proper story perse it's more about gags and stuff about the different character fighting over ghosts for money but the story stuff i do have- Sbi family dynamic is real here you can rejoice, Phil adopts Tubbo after his dad (Schlatt) kicks the bucket and fucking dies , Tubbo befriend’s Ranboo some mysterious teen who just desperately needs a job so he- and the rest of the Minecraft family help him get one- though they find out Ranboo isnt as human as he was made out to be and he finds out he’s this worlds version of angels called ender’s and he’s there to protect Tubbo and Tommy which explains why the more violent ghosts start being less violent at the arrival of Ranboo joining their team. Bad isn't human either being a demon his entire group know’s plus quackity. Quackity found out but squirting him with holy water through a water gun but don't worry he promised not to tell anyone; -) Bad and Ranboo know about each other because they see each other as their true forms The minecraft fam found out about Schlatt being a ghost through Tommy- despite Tubbo telling him not to- telling them from calling up and paying for them to investigate their own house saying “technically i didn't tell them” they ended up not getting rid of Schlatt though I'm not going to talk about how the ghosts here work because it's not super important to the plot

The second au is another ghost au where the main characters are ghosts themselves,

like the others its mainly lighthearted and comedic with dark attributes The plot surrounds the sbi family moving into a new house and Tommy finding out it's being haunted by two ghost’s. Those ghosts being Tubbo and Ranboo This au isn't fully figured out but I know that he found out he was haunted by sending a selfie to someone(possibly Drista and Purpled? Since there are only other minors who were part of the dsmp lore? But ultimately idk) and them being like “yo i didn't know you had friends” and him being like “?????” Tubbo died from a boiler exploding and Ranboo died from drowning (which are apparently my two favorite deaths) this also doesn't have an official story? It was just an excuse to make ghost designs with a bit of a story without the commitment As said before it's a sbi au but also a Dadschlatt au cuz I like Dadschlatt au’s. The main story bits i have are background stuff for Tubbo and Ranboo which ill elaborate now The house was originally meant to be just a summer home because it had a large lake in the backyard Ranboo’s family would go there often but that doesn't mean his family liked him very much because of his heterochromia, Vitiligo, and his height his family thought he was strayed from god and drowned him Tubbo died during sleep while Schlatt wasn't home either out drinking or just at work he came home to the house being partially blown up and his son nowhere to be seen he calls Puffy out of fear and she calls the cops. He moves away and most likely starts drinking a bit more. The house gets rebuilt and now the sbi live there hijinks ensue! The ghosts in this au work in a simpler manor only Tommy can see them unless a photo is taken but even then they are blurred, they can float and go through walls and their ability to touch things is limited Ranboo’s memory is worse then Tubbo’s but Tubbo’s isn’t much better.

below the cut will be designs and stuff be safe pal's- there will be minor/cartoony blood-

rip me exposing my old art on this account also i'm ripping these from my fucking amino account that i don't use but still have the password too

gonna do the original what a pity drawins first them ill show a more recent rendition because i hate the old drawings

these are the old drawins i hate them

then,,, i just drew them,,,,, fuck these guys/j

thses are the old sprite edits of these four! trixies design is the only one that really changed

the ded;-; i couldnt fit him on the page

there he is! ft indus and very much alive mera(who i cant figure out how to FUCKING DRAW-)

gay's get wilbur'd/j

they lookin for ghosts

the whole fmaily is here but its quality is shit

these bitches dead! good for them,,, good for them,,,,,,/j/rp

#LET FUCKIGN RE TRY THIUS' #LETS HOPE IT ACTUALLY SHOWS UP IN THE FUCKING TAGS #FUCK #no fucking arounf this time: -/ #long post #au talk #EE Ghost au #hermitcraft au #not maintagging hermitcraft im scared of u bitches/Lh #grian #samgladiator #btw i dont support sam gladiator i think he's a prick #he can go suck a dick/srs #taurtis #yandere high school #tokyo soul #epithet erased #wont tag the characters unless their drawn #molly blyndeff #mera salamin #indus tarbella #dr sylvester ashling #trixie roughouse #phoenica fleecity #zora salazar #ramsey murdoch #dsmp au #dsmp tommy #dsmp tubbo #dsmp ranboo

[mamichigo]

Title: at the bottom (where the eyes can't see)

Pairing: Kokichi/Shuichi

Rating: G

Word count: 2,1k

Tags: Hope's Peak AU, Post Hope's Peak, Bittersweet, Fluff and Angst, Pre-Relationship, Aged-up characters

Summary: "Because, one year ago, Kokichi disappeared without a trace before he could even attend the graduation ceremony."

Shuichi meets Kokichi again.

Notes: Gift for participant #32 in the @kokichigiftexchange

*

"Ouma-kun?"

It's too early in the morning to encounter anyone; the only sound at the beach is the quiet murmur of the waves. A lone person stands where the waves come to lap at their bare feet, and the person shivers in what he can only presume is freezing water. Shuichi is compelled to attribute it to a Christmas phantom, a hallucination born out of wishful thinking.

But he recognizes that messy head of hair, the diminutive stature. Kokichi Ouma looks like he hasn't changed at all, just like he stepped out of one of Shuichi's restless dreams.

His feet crunch on the sand, and it's that rather than the whispered name that alerts Kokichi to his presence. He turns with eyes narrowed, but suspicion melts into recognition when he spots Shuichi. To his surprise, that look morphs into horror almost immediately. Kokichi takes a step back and looks around.

"You don't need to run away," Shuichi hurries to reassure him. "If you don't want to talk, that's… That's okay."

It isn't. Just insinuating it is makes him nauseous. Kokichi smiles in a cynic way that tells him he's still just as good at spotting lies. But, right now, as long as he can make Kokichi stay, Shuichi will tell as many white lies as necessary.

Because, one year ago, Kokichi disappeared without a trace before he could even attend the graduation ceremony.

"It's been awhile," Shuichi whispered.

Kokichi's shoulders hunch. Shuichi is sure that if he could, Kokichi would be putting up a physical barrier between the two of them. In the absence of that, he keeps his body language closed off, not even bothering to fully face Shuichi.

"It would've been much longer if I had my way," Kokichi snaps back. There's none of the joking, childish tone that used to always be in his voice.

"Your plan was to never see any of us again, wasn't it?" Shuichi muses to himself. He watches Kokichi's tense form. "Then, why are you here?"

Kokichi scoffs. "It's a big city, as if I ever planned to just accidentally bump into you. Or anyone, for that matter."

"No, but why would you still be in the city at all? It's not what you'd do, if you wanted to disappear."

Kokichi raises his eyebrows at him in challenge. Shuichi tries to tell himself he isn't trembling as well.

"I'd know. I looked for you."

Kokichi's eyes widen, and just for a moment, there's a crack in his mask. He bites at his bottom lip and a pained twitch appears at the corners of his eyes. Kokichi turns his head down and away, staring at something. Shuichi only now realizes Kokichi is clutching something in his hands.

"I wouldn't expect any less from the Ultimate Detective! Ah, you must be an active detective now, so I'm sure you have all kinds of resources at your disposal now. It wouldn't be hard to look for little ol' me, right?" Kokichi swirls to look at him. The smile on his face looks like it hurts his cheeks. "That's what it means to be an Ultimate, right?"

Shuichi shifts his weight, and realizes he has nothing to say to that. Kokichi was right. It was frighteningly easy to look into Kokichi's whereabouts, and even more terrifying to realize even then he couldn't find his missing ex-classmate.

Everywhere he goes, he sees his other classmates, even the ones he is no longer in contact with. On TV, billboards, online forums, on the news. Every single one of them, except Kokichi.

"What have you been up to all this time?" Shuichi asks, like he has done so many times to the silent copy of Kokichi that appears to him whenever he closes his eyes.

"This," Kokichi deadpans. "But that's not really the question you want to ask, is it, Saihara-chan?"

Shuichi looks to Kokichi's shoes, lying on the sand. To his clenched toes, dipped in water. To his fingers, almost purple at the tips where they clutch some mysterious box. Finally, he looks into Kokichi's eyes, and finds nothing but guarded apathy. Shuichi has gotten no better at reading Kokichi than he used to be when they were both attending Hope's Peak.

"What question do you think I want to ask?"

"Oh, please." Kokichi rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue. "I'm not in the mood for the charades."

"That used to be all you were in the mood for."

"But we're not at Hope's Peak anymore, are we?"

Shuichi opens and closes his mouth a few times, but can't settle on an answer. Shuichi swallows.

"But you're still you."

"Don't act like you know me."

"Ouma-kun…"

Shuichi tries to touch his arm, if only for the comfort of knowing this Kokichi is not an illusion, but Kokichi knocks his hand away before he can get close enough to do it. Kokichi pins him with an angry look.

"Is it just me, or have you gotten bolder, Saihara-chan? Assertive, even!" Every word drips with sarcasm. "My sincere congratulations!"

Shuichi presses his lips into a straight line. He looks away for a moment, and is reminded of how cold it truly is when a gust of wind makes goosebumps raise on his flesh. Shuichi watches Kokichi's still trembling figure.

"What are you doing here, Ouma-kun?" Shuichi asks again, dread at the back of his throat.

Kokichi hums in thought. He kicks at the water half-heartedly and winces when droplets of it fall on himself. He shakes the box in his hand, and it rattles.

"To dispose of useless things," Kokichi says.

"On a Christmas morning, in the middle of Winter?"

"What can I say, it's a little symbolic this way."

"What's inside the box?"

They look at each other for a moment that's a few eternities too long. Slowly, slowly, a smile tugs at Kokichi's lips. It's small and secretive; it's the same smile Kokichi had given him the last time they talked, framed by pouring rain and dark clouds. Shuichi's breath catches in his throat.

"Nothing worth remembering."

Perhaps it's the shock of the sudden memory that makes him stand there and watch as Kokichi raises his hands above his head and throws the box into the ocean. Kokichi turns like he means to leave, and the box falls into the water with a wet plop. Shuichi looks from one to the other, and chases after the sinking box.

He manages to see Kokichi whip his head back to look at him, but he doesn't have the time to think about that.

"Saihara-chan!" Kokichi yells when his body hits the water.

Shuichi takes a deep breath and dives. The freezing cold shocks him into almost inhaling the water, but Shuichi slaps a hand to his mouth and swallows the urge to gasp for breath. The seawater stings at his open eyes, but he has enough visibility to see the dark polish of the wooden box. Shuichi grabs for it and resurfaces with a gasp.

He doesn't get out of the water immediately, floating there and breathing with his eyes closed. His fingers are slippery, but he cradles the box to his chest and doesn't let go.

"Saihara-chan!" Kokichi yells again. 

Shuichi raises his head slowly. Numbly, he waves to Kokichi. It takes some effort to drag himself out the water with his clothes weighing him down, but Shuichi manages to get back to shore. 

Shuichi never imagined he'd spend his morning diving into the ocean, with a fuming Kokichi glaring at him. He almost laughs. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Kokichi hisses. He gets into Shuichi's personal space, raised to the tip of his toes to grab Shuichi by the lapels of his coat. The seawater in his hair drips onto Kokichi's cheeks. "I know you can be stupid, but this is a new low!"

Shuichi nods numbly. "A-At least…" His teeth chatter. "At least I got it. The box."

Kokichi stares incredulously at the wooden box. Shuichi can nearly see it when the thread that holds him together snaps.

"You think I care?! I was here to throw that away, you idiot! This was supposed to be the last of— Of all this!" Kokichi shook him roughly.

"Wait, Ouma-kun, that hurts—"

"That stupid school, this city, this useless thing they called a talent. I'm getting rid of all of it."

Kokichi continues his barrage, and Shuichi has to step back when Kokichi gets too close. In the frenzy, they end up tangled in each other's feet, and they both fall painfully. Shuichi winces, but Kokichi isn't deterred. If anything, he looks all the more furious.

"You can't stop me from doing it, Saihara-chan," Kokichi says in a fervent whisper.

"You were trying to say goodbye," Shuichi realizes.

For a tense moment, neither of them speak. Kokichi is still furious above him, expression twisted. Shuichi has a feeling that, if he was capable of doing it sincerely, Kokichi would be crying. Shuichi wants to hug him.

He chuckles quietly.

"What are you laughing about?"

"That's the first time you've ever been this sincere with me," Shuichi says with a smile he knows is too soft.

Kokichi sighs exasperatedly and hangs his head. He ends up with his forehead to Shuichi's collarbone. He's still clutching Shuichi's coat tightly.

"I hate you," Kokichi says.

"I missed you," Shuichi answers.

He dares lay a hand on Kokichi's head, and though he flinches, he doesn't say anything about it. Shuichi runs his fingers from his scalp to the tip of his hair. He gently plays with the tips like he so starkly remembers Kokichi doing whenever he was focused on whatever thoughts were on his mind. Shuichi can see it, in his mind's eyes: Kokichi sitting on the table, legs crossed, grinning as he lies through his teeth about one thing or another.

He doesn't have the time to dwell on the memory, as Kokichi grows antsy in the prolonged contact. He pushes himself away and sits on the sand next to Shuichi. He's still within arm's reach, Shuichi notes as he sits up as well.

Kokichi forces him to remove his outer layer and offers his own coat in exchange.

"Thank you."

"Whatever."

Kokichi rests his cheek on his knee and doesn't bother looking at Shuichi again. Shuichi frowns, just a little bit, but concedes that at least Kokichi has yet to leave.

"Why did you disappear?" Shuichi asks.

"There it is, the million dollar question," Kokichi deadpans with a huff. He draws on the sand with his finger, and Shuichi can see he's pouting too. "Does it really matter?"

"I spent the last year searching for any clues of what might have happened to you." Shuichi allows for just a hint of steel to appear in his voice. "It matters."

Kokichi pauses for a moment. Then, he's right back to doodling. Shuichi can identify what looks like the hat he used to wear.

"There's only so much time you can spend on a farce. Every game has an ending. That's part of the fun too. You could say I got bored."

Shuichi observes him. He wonders if taking Kokichi's coat was a good idea, as he's shaking now more than ever. What he can see of his face is pale, with the exception of the underside of his eyes. He looks shockingly smaller. Shuichi realizes it's because his personality is so muted, a stark difference to how he presented himself so loudly before, impossible to ignore.

"Rather than bored, you just sound tired," Shuichi gently says.

"Thanks, Mr. Detective."

There is more to it than Kokichi is saying, but this is already more personal information than Kokichi would ever reveal about himself. They have time, enough for Shuichi to prod at his motivation, to peel the layers of what happened to Kokichi. He can only hope that's true.

"What are you going to do now?" 

"Same thing I've been doing. Which is to say, nothing." Kokichi seems to remember something. He shifts a little to point at the box Shuichi is holding. "Ah, you can keep that. You went through the trouble of throwing yourself into the ocean for it, so you win."

"I didn't know we were playing," Shuichi jokes.

"Aren't we always."

Carefully, Shuichi undoes the clasp that holds the lid closed. Inside the box, they are a number of little trinkets that he doesn't recognize, and a few he does. He sees a star pin he had won for Kokichi in a festival.

At the bottom of it all, there are a couple of pictures. The one at the top had his own face smiling up at him, with a laughing Kokichi clinging to him by the neck, half raised off the floor.

Shuichi turns a fond smile at Kokichi, but he's still resolutely avoiding eye contact. Shuichi keeps that secret to himself, and reaches for his friend's hand instead. Just a touch of his pinky to Kokichi's. Kokichi twitches, but his hand stays right where it is. 

"I'm glad I didn't let you throw it away."

#kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #saiouma #oumasai #danganronpa #ndrv3 #my writing

[lovelylogans]

making a post about the month-long break i took from social media on social media, because, like, it be like that, it’s social media, i can send all of these thoughts out Into The Void again

i’ve wanted to do the whole “month long” break thing since this early this year, so i ended up waiting until @ts-storytime (which i am the sole mod of) was over so i could, like, actually fully step back. i watched this video by matt d’avella and it basically sealed it.

i. gotta be honest, my dudes? it was pretty awesome. save three nights (two airings of t100, in which Absurdity Happened, and the presidential debate, all three spent on twitter) i avoided tumblr, twitter, facebook, everything except tiktok and youtube. sure, i missed some things—esp in time of quarantine, stuff like getting asks and getting into conversations on twitter—and i missed seeing fanart, and posts from people i’m not friends with but am generally fond of, but on the whole, after the first week or so, the urge to log in just kind of... faded to the back of my mind?

it also might have been a Thing that i focused less on social media because i had to deal with some health stuff (totally treatable, am mostly okay now, whatever’s left is pretty like.... normal, it’s just something i have to keep my eye on) so that kind of occupied a lot of my brain space. in terms of like, what i filled my time with:

uhhh, i ended up reading more Actual Books last month than i usually do, which was really great!! finally figured out how to get my library card to connect with the kindle account—i Personally recommend that you read, if you haven’t already, “red white and royal blue” by casey mcquiston and “the night circus” by erin morgenstern. both were very fantastic in very different ways.

didn’t just read books either!!! i absolutely DECIMATED the ao3 works of some of the less popular fandoms i’m in, as well as reading some highly recommended stuff from a very popular fandom; genuinely would not be shocked if i topped, like, genuinely a million words. maybe even two million—one work i read alone was 700k. so yeah, in retrospect, definitely read a few million words last month.

played a LOT of the sims!! the houses i’m building look halfway decent now and i started like three new save files. currently about to start sending eight sims to university simultaneously, pray for me.

uhhh, revamped my ios14 homescreen! light academia themed. i didn’t bother changing the apps to be aesthetic, though, the way it goes to shortcuts then the app Kills me

wrote!!! wrote a lot!!! though i didn’t publish anything last month, i definitely broke through some writer’s block, and i added a Substantial enough amount to fics in progress and a fic about to be published (hopefully over the weekend?) that it, like, was very nice.

listened to podcasts and music! i’ve been dedicated to listening to mbmbam in order for a while now and i’ve reached 2013-2014.

plus like real life stuff like cleaning my room and working out and applying for jobs, tragically nothing on that front, but i did redesign my resume so hopefully something DOES come on that front soon

however i Would Recommend that you try, like, a day or a week away from social media, it’s nice to clear your mind and it makes you appreciate it a little bit more. like i said earlier, i’m not fully Back yet, i don’t think, but i’ll probably try to load up the queue again so it seems like i am.

#my post #text #not ts #me

[shinobisakura]

A Flowers and Shuriken.

PROMPTS CURTESY OF @shisakuweek FOR ShiSakuWeek2020 

Friday 21st August :

Soul mark AU

 Where you bare a soul mark that corresponds with your soulmate. You can only see your own soul mark, and it flashes when you’re going to meet them soon. 

Chapter 1 sets the scene. Chapter 2 is the real interaction. Might actual make a few more chapters to this, rework it and then post on AO3

 Chapter 1

Early mornings were not good for Sakura. Ever. Early mornings usually meant skipping breakfast, meeting up with Team 7, an all-out brawl with Team 7, Kakashi-sensei finally showing up several hours after he said to meet up and followed up with some incident that usually dragged her on shift at the Hospital.

Usually.

Toady was not a usual day. I was an incredibly unusual day.

“I’m sorry what?” Sakura spluttered staring at her master.

Sakura along with Yamato, Shikamaru and Hinata were all stood in the Hokage’s office for a last minute mission. None of them knew what it was about, and so far all they’d gotten out of the Hokage was that it was an urgent and immediate mission. So collect your shinobi packs and go. This was the type of mission urgency that only ANBU were sent on- with the exception of the Kazekage retrieval mission a few months ago.

“You four are going to the capital for a very important mission. Because its in the capital, I need the best I can get, and right now that’s you lot.”

“Its not Tora again is it? That mission is such a drag.”

Tora. That damned cat! If Tsunade was sending her on another Tora mission she’d just blow her top. Thirty times as a genin was enough thank you very much.

Tsunade however didn’t seem affected by the comment, and remained as stern as she had began the mission briefing.

“No it is not Tora.”

Silence. Clearly despite the urgency of the mission, Lady-Tsunade was trying to think of the best way to explain the mission without exposing anything critical. Hinata looked around for a moment and then chose to speak up.

“Ts-Tsunade-sama, you said you need the best, but, wouldn’t Na-naruto-kun or Saskue-san or Shino be more suited?”

“No this isn’t suited for them. Naruto and Saskue are likely to burn down the capital in a brawl, Shino is too quiet for this mission, and honestly from what I’ve heard, the Daimyo hates bugs. That would go down just as well as sending you with both of the team 7 idiots. I don’t want Kakashi reading porn in the palace and I really, really don’t want to hear that Genma slept with another Daimyo’s daughter or wife. I just about negotiated for his life in the last case.”

That… was sadly very true. Genma and Raidou had been sent to guard Shizune whilst her fellow medic-nin healed Madam Shijimi. Apparently Genma had caught the eye of the Madam and Daimyo’s daughter, who instantly wanted to add a shinobi shaped notch in her bedpost. That had gone so well for him that it had taken the elders, Lady Tsunade and an offer of engagement for his daughter from the Water Daimyo (curtesy of Naruto begging Kiri’s jinchuriki to help arrange it) for the Fire Daimyo to forget he ever wanted Genma’s head on a pike.

Either way, from Tsunade’s explanation she wasn’t necessarily after the best shinobi but rather the most capable of them. At least the most discreet. Shikamaru seemed to see it that way too.

“So not exactly the best, just the least likely to cause trouble. Damn what a drag.”

“I need you four to meet up with the Daimyo’s guard and pass on this scroll to the guard head. You will return accompanied by said head guard, with the exception of you Yamato, who will be taking over the head guards position until otherwise relieved.”

“Why us? This is going to be such a pain.” Shikamaru compained for the third time that morning.

“Because the four of you are the most qualified for this job. The three of you are all chunin or higher.” Tsunade rubbed the bridge of her nose. “In addition to this, Sakura you have your own mission.”

“Me?”

“Yes. It’s this particular mission that is why you will accompany this team. Once there you will be team leader, as your mission takes over.”

“What? But surely the Head-guard would take over being the more experienced jonin?”

“No. This is your personal mission scroll Sakura. It is only for your eyes and you are not to open it until you reach the guard. Once you’ve read it, you will understand why it is that the team will be under your command. Is that Understood?”

“Understood.” Sakura nodded and then hesitated, her sudden departure from the village might cause more problems than Tsunade would expect.. “Tsunade-hime, will you inform Team-7?”

“I’ll make sure Naruto and Saskue know and don’t burn down the village looking for you.” Tsunade nodded. “Go home, collect your essential and then depart from the sothern gates once you’re all there.”

The team stood to attention and then with that the team departed.

 Within only twenty minutes, the newly formed Captial-Team had geared up, departed the village and were well on their way to the heart of the Fire Country.

“Who is the Daimyo’s head guard anyway?” Shikamaru asked.

“I thought you’d already know?” Yamato blinked back in surprise.

“I know he’s Konoha shinobi, but I didn’t bother to know exactly who. The Daimyo goes through them that quickly.”

That was certainly true. When Sakura had been in the academy it was a well known fact that the Daimyo was sending back the Head-guard every few months. None meeting his personal standard, and some not wanting to deal with the Daimyo’s family any longer.

“It’s Shisui Uchiha. Shisui-san has been the Daimyo’s head-guard the last three years.”

Uchiha? Sakura thought. Saskue had mentioned he had a cousin on a long term mission with the Daimyo, but she hadn’t realised it was Itachi’s Shisui.

“Jeeze, that long? What a drag. What’d he do, beg the Hokage to give him relief or something?”

“I don’t know.” Yamato shrugged.

“It’s- it’s probably because Shisui is the most qualified genjustsu shinobi, aside from Itachi-san. There might be a new mission he’s needed for.”

Sakura snorts at that.

“That’s what Sasuke will have you think. I have it from good authority that Shisui is better than Itachi.”

“And who’s that?” Shikarmau scoffed.

“Itachi himself.” She snorted.

That was true. Itachi had once told her over dango that he and his cousin often spared, but Shisui was always one step ahead. Apparently Itachi said that even Shisui’s sharingan was stronger than his, which was a feat in itself as usually it was only main branch Uchiha who’s sharringan had that much potential.

Hinata giggled at that and Shikamaru groans.

“I do believe that is a good authority.” Hinata quipped.

The team lulled into a silence for a couple more miles before Shikamaru spoke up again.

“So Ino said your soulmark’s been flashing.”

Ah Sakura thought. Yes that was true. The last couple of days the soulmark on the inner of her elbow had began to flash bright every so often. She’d only noticed it the morning two days past, having taken of her guards to realise the mark was flashing. She couldn’t tell if she was excited, happy or terrified at the prospect of meeting her soulmate. The mark itself already telling her she’d have feeling for whoever it was.

“Yeah. So?”

“Well doesn’t that usually mean that your about to meet your soulmate?”

“I don’t know Shikamaru, did that happen when you and Temari met?”

“Ugh. You and Ino are going to kill me with your questions. But if you must know yes. What about you Hinata? Did your soulmark flash when you met Naruto?”

“N-no. I believe that the Soulmark only flashes if you and your soulmate are going to have a romantic meeting.”

“But it has flashed for you and Naruto?” Sakura raised her eyebrows.

“Y-yes. Naruto’s soulmark flashed just before he asked me to dinner in Suna.”

That was surprising, seeing as Hinata had been making moon-eyes at Naruto since pre-academy. But then again, Naruto had had a crush on her until two years ago when Sakura explained soul marks to him. Apparently no one had bothered to teach Naruto in the orphanage and since Saskue had met his own soulmate- and it was Uzumaki to everyone’s amusement, Naruto had been confused as to why Saskue was interested in talking to this brash girl since he hadn’t even bothered looking at Sakura.

It had been funny to see Naruto realise that the mark on his hand which no one else had seemed to ever notice, was in fact his own soul mark- A Lion. Then barely a week after it had began flashing and he was Hinata using her new Gentle Step style. Since then the two had began dating and Hinata had blossomed in confidence whilst Naruto developed a new self-awareness (at least where Hinata was concerned). Sakura had thought the reason Naruto’s mark only flashed then was because he hadn’t known that it was his soulmark, but apparently Hinata knew otherwise.

 “What about you Captain Yamato? Did your soulmark flash when you met your soulmate?” Sakura looked at her team captain. Said Captain turned bright red and nearly missed ducking a branch.

“What makes you think I have a soulmark?”

“The fact you just turned bright red?” Sakura pointed out. “So who is it?”

“None of your business!”

“Oh come on. Hayate and Yugao are soulmates. Naruto and Hinata, Shika and Temari. We deserve to know!”

“Asuma and Kurenai. Hanabi and that Konohamaru kid.” Shikimaru added with a nod.

“Even Kakashi has a soulmate.” Sakura shot in too, and Shikamaru glanced over to her in surprise.

“Really? Who? Not Gai right?”

Sakura snorted but before she could reply Yamato yelled back at them.

“OF COURSE KAKASHI SEMPAI’S SOULMATE ISN’T  GAI!”

“…Is it you.” Shikamaru asked a sly grin on his face before he dodged a kunai thrown at his face.

“I guess so. Wouldn’t have seen that coming.” Sakura grinned at the other two before they continued on, joking as they went.

 It didn’t take them too long, and they arrived at the capital in less than a day, and after an hour of paperwork and approval, they found themselves in a cheap hotel on the outskirts of the city.

“Tch. The Daimyo certainly knows how to treat his shinobi.” Shikamaru groaned.

“I thought you’d be pleased, you get to sleep in a bed before we go speak to the Daimyo and his guard.” Sakura quipped back.

The group unpacked their gear slowly making use of their down time before the following day.

 “So. What’s your soulmark?” Shikamaru asked raising his brows.

“Shikamaru-san! You can’t asked that.”

“Why not? Might help us narrow it down. There’s a good chance she’ll beet whoever it is in the city, seeing as it only recently started to flash.”

That was true. Soulmarks always corresponded with Soulmates in one form or the other. It just took a little longer for some people to work out.

“Good point. Only fair you tell me yours first.”

“Meh, mine is a fan. You know, cause Temari uses them or something.”

Hinata giggled at that before adding her own.

“M-mine is a kitsune-festival mask.”

Sakura laughed.

“Oh, those are definitely big hints. Although if you didn’t know Naruto it might take a little longer.” Sakura shook her head. Those were easy to recognise.

“So what is yours.” Shikimaru asked, breaking Sakura’s thoughts.

“It’s… It’s weird. It’s like some strange curved Shuriken or something.”

“A shuriken?”

“Kind of? It’s just weird. I thought maybe I’d run into a shinobi who used a custom shuriken or something? Maybe a pinwheel? But I don’t know anyone outside of wind country who are related to pinwheels.”

“Weird.” Shikamaru agreed. “Usually a Soulmark is connected to something unique about the person not their weapons.”

“You literally just said your soulmark for Temari is a fan.”

“Because her jutsu is unique and connected to fans. There have only been three shinobi in Suna history to use fans to slice air.”

“Fair enough.” Sakura slumped down. Her mark would be difficult to work out.

“Look lets sleep on it. Maybe in the morning you’ll know more.” Hinata added and they nodded in agreement. Sleep sounded wonderous. 

Chapter 2

“YOU WANT TO WHAT?!” 

Apparently the Hokage had not sent word to the Daimyo about the change in his guard. Said guard was stood, face entirely blank, beside the screaming noble. So far the scroll handed to him had only upset the Daimyo into something of a tantrum. In fact, Naruto’s own tantrums when told he couldn’t have ramen seemed like an elders council speech compared to the display before the team.

“We are here to exchange Captain Yamato here, for your current head guard Shisui Uchiha. Whilst we understand the lack of notice -something urgent has come up that only Shisui can help deal with. Yamato here is more than qualified to guard yourself and your family Lord Daimyo. In fact he is the only Shinobi aside from the First Hokage to have the Mokuton. Lady Tsunade selected him personally to ensure your safety.”

If there was one thing Sakura had learned from her master, it was the art of kissing up to nobles to get the outcome you want. Well that and how to hold ones liqueur. But only one of those skills was useful right now, and if anything Sakura would kill for a drink to help deal with this.

“Why?” 

“Because your safety is paramount to the peace of the Land of Fire, my lord.”

“No. Why do you need Uchiha?”

“I’m afraid that’s above our clearance to know. As the Hokage’s apprentice she thought that my presence might help reassure you the urgency of this mission as well as our knowledge of how important you are to the Land.”

A little lie didn’t hurt either. 

“Yes, yes. I did find it odd for Tsunade to send two clan heirs and her own apprentice.” His face seemed stunned for a moment before he masked it with a sagely imitation of wisdom.

Clearly, only now had the Daimyo realised who Sakura was, probably having thought she was simply a pretty face added to placate him. Technically that was probably also part of Tsunade’s planning, but Sakura didn’t need to let him know that.

After a little more back and forth, Shikamaru adding that technically Shisui was due to leave from the guard anyway, the Daimyo finally agreed. With that they regrettably left Yamato in place of Shisui and the group left. Not having shared a word with each other until they were long out of the capital.

The group stopped after an hour of running and opted to set up camp.

“Holy shit.” Shikmaru finally burst. 

“Y-you sounded very convincing S-sakura-chan.” 

Sakura, to her credit, simply shrugged as the other collapsed in giggles.

“I had to train with Homura and Koharu in the art of politics. The Daimyo is nothing compared to those old bats and the clan elders.” 

Shisui laughed at that. It was warm and reminded Sakura a bit of Naruto.

“Right, before anything else. My name is Shikamaru Nara, this is Hinata Hyuuga, and the political negociator over there is the Hokage’s apprentice.”

“The name’s Sakura.” She grinned. “Very sorry for the unexpected legal kidnapping.”

“I honestly didn’t expect it. So tell me, why have you retrieved me?” 

Sakura opened her mouth before closed it. She didn’t actually know, she hadn’t even read her scroll yet, so right now it could be anything. Technically the brief had been to swap Yamato for Shisui and have him accompany them in whatever the new mission was.

“Gimmie a second.” She finally said, pulling out her own mission scroll. It was written formally like any other mission scroll, but there was an obscurity about it that made Sakura scowl.

Sakura, apprentice of Hokage Tsunade. Your mission is to heal the damage done to Shisui Uchiha’s eyes through use of the Sharingan with the assistance of Hinata Hyuuga and Shikimaru Nara. Here is the knowledge compiled on the degenerative abilities of the Sharingan, and what little knowledge we have on preventing it. 

Please report back to the village once you are confident in having gathered all the necessary things.

Dispose of this once read 

Signed. 

Homura Mitokado

Koharu Utatane

Hokage Tsunade Senju. 

That- That was impossible. Tsunade herself had explained to Fugaku that the sharingan’s damage was irreversible. 

“Are they- THEY CAN’T BE SERIOUS!” Sakura yelled, ripping up the scroll.

“What? What?!” Shikamaru, for once in his life, looked worried. 

“Those- those idiots are expecting a miracle.”

“What?”

“Tell me Uchiha-san, how long have you been going blind?”

The following exchange went from Shisui initially denying it to finally Sakura giving him a lecture that he was acting like Saskue did when he was being stupid about a critical injury on a mission. Shikamaru and Hinata decided to make themselves scarce during this exchange, which Sakura thought was probably from learnt experience with her and her squad. After a bit more back and forth Shisui pouted and sat down as ordered, allowed Sakura to cast a diagnostic jutsu after explaining she was a medic-nin. 

“So you know Saskue?”

“I’m on his dumbass original genin squad. Sakura Haruano. I’m pretty sure Itachi probably mentioned me at some point.”

“You’re Sakura?” 

“What were you expecting. Some burly woodcutter type?”

“I was expecting someone a bit... Younger?”

“ARE YOU SAYING I’M OLD!”

“No! No! I just keep imagining Saskue and his team as 12 year old genin. It’s hard to picture him as anything but.”

“Well him and Naruto technically still are genin. Saskue ended up injured the past two chunin exams. Different incidents of course. And Naruto went on a round trip with the Pervert himself.” 

“Pervert... You mean Jiraiya?” Shisui seemed stunned at the name.

“Yes. Could you activate you Shaingan for me?” 

He obliged. 

“Okay. Now seeing as its just us. Can you show me your other form of sharingan.” 

“You know about the Mangekyo.

“Itachi mentioned it on one of his physicals. Said it was draining.”

Shisui nodded, and then activated it. 

Sakura froze completely and almost immediately Shisui deactivated it.

“I'm sorry! You asked me to activate it!”

“You- you - you-” Sakura couldn’t get the words out. 

How. How the hell was her soulmark in his eyes. 

Of course she knew the answer. He was her soulmate.

“I ams sorry. I know that it’s a bit intimidating, but you didn’t seem-”

“Shut up a second!” Sakura finally cut him off. “What’s your soulmark?”

“What?! What does that have to- It’s a flower. Actually, hang on!”

He pulls out a pressed flower from his jacket. It was a purple bell shaped flower, and instantly Sakura recognised it.

“That’s Aconite.” Sakura blinked at the flower.

“Yeah?”

“It’s poisonous.”

What kind of dumbass walked around with a press of a posioness flower in his jacket. Sakura herself didn’t do that. That was beyond stupid and dangerous. Sure she used it all the time, but she was a medic nin she could handle and accidental poisoning. Unless of course Shisui was a poison expert and was using it in some sort of concoction. 

“It is?”

No. Apparently he was a dumbass like Naruto.

“Yeah. It is. Why do you carry it around in your jacket? Are you trying to kill yourself?”

“Huh? I just carry it in case I run into my soulmate, then I could pull it out and present it to her.”

Oh, never mind kill himself, he wanted to accidentally kill his soul mate too! If she hadn’t known better, he’d have killed her.

“I use it in my antidotes and- Well its my favourite flower.”

“Your favourite flower is poisonous?”

Sakura snorted. “Ino- my best friend- compared me to an Aconite bud when we become friends. It stuck with me I guess.”

Shisui’s face seems to fill with realisation.

“So... This flower has a special connection to you?”

“Yes, and clearly the curved shuriken is connected to you, seeing as its in your eyes.”

“Wait! Are you trying to say-?”Apparently she had to spell it out for him.

 “That that weird dumbass shuriken soul mark I’ve been branded with is actually your mangekyo? Yeah.” 

“Huh.”

Sakura snorted once more. 

“I guess I’ve got a real reason to be motivated to find your cure now.”

#shisakuweekend082020 #Fic #shisuisaku #sakura #soulmark

[taylorrepdetective]

What are your thoughts on The Archer? I just realized that you never put up an analysis for that song.

I tried to keep this short but I failed. I know I’m on a break, but I decided to go ahead and write up my thoughts finally.

My take on it is a little different from others’ I think, and I am opened-minded about the timing of it. I love this song and I have a very distinct image in my head when I listen to it. I believe the timing of this song is somewhere between mid-2014 and early 2015. It may not be a real experience that happened, but TS is telling a story to convey a feeling. Or something very similar to this actually happened. 

They've been together for a while and the initial hopeful giddiness has worn off after TS thought everything would be fine, but now TS’ anxiety and self-destructive tendencies have come into play. It could be post-kissgate, but it could be before that. In my head, I imagine it’s the middle of the night and TS is pacing the room while KK sleeps, blissfully unaware of TS’ turmoil. She is overthinking everything. Possibly on the edge of a full-blown anxiety attack. Her heart is racing as her self-doubts fill her head and she goes back and forth about being ready for combat. What kind of combat? Is she going to start a fight that will destroy the relationship? Is she going to fight for the relationship?  As The Archer, is she going to kill (hunt) or be cupid? And beyond the relationship, is she going to fight for her truth? Cutting off her nose to spite her face is referencing the mistakes she makes due to her self-destructive tendencies. If it’s post-kissgate, it could be a reference to the gay panic. But if not, it could be just her sabotaging relationships before she could get too close. The room on fire invisible smoke is the disasters she pre-imagines that aren’t real. All her heroes die alone is the impossibility to just be openly gay and in love as a celebrity. Cruelty wins in the movies represents tragic gay love as being the dominant movie trope that we get as representation, and informs TS’ view of the inevitable end of all things good when it comes to love. All of her enemies started out friends I think of as her exes started out friends, an experience every wlw can relate to. She is an archer (Sagittarius). Her last relationship was with another archer (two people who could act as cupid or as killer) but kk is not an archer. She has no dark side. Sometimes I get emo thinking about how the sun likewise has no dark side. As the song ends, she let’s the arrow fly. And because just before this she says you could stay, I see that as her realization that she should be cupid here, not the hunter. 

There’s is so much in this song. The rhythm mimicking a fast-beating, anxious heart. The consistent sound throughout mimicking tension of a drawn bowstring, the slight gaspy realization sound she makes when she says “You could stay.” UGH I love it.

Actually, that was pretty short for me.

#i had a whole thing about seeing right through her in here and somewhere during the editing process it disappeared #just assume it was profound

[auburnflight]

Edelgard’s War Phase Design and Peripheral Vision in Crimson Flower

I looked closely at Edelgard’s post-timeskip character design as I was working on a drawing of her the other day, and had a thought that initially felt like it came out of nowhere: “Those horns seem like they’d block her peripheral vision. Wouldn’t it be hard to see?”

At first I thought it was kind of an off-handed, random and unfounded reaction. (I’m in the furry fandom and I wear a lot of fursuits with restricted fields of vision, so I end up thinking about that sort of thing tangentially in cosplay and such--maybe it came from there?) But as I thought about it more, I realized that this idea of a narrowed field of vision resonates with Edelgard as a character, specifically her intense focus on her ambition and on moving forward no matter the cost.

Visually, the horns on her crown give her a forward energy. And temporally, her focus is always on what’s ahead. But it’s not just that. The shape they create around her face, and the fact that if this design was physically put into reality (Post-ts Edelgard cosplayers, maybe you can confirm for me here?), it would intrude at the edges of the wearer’s vision, both suggest Edelgard’s almost exclusive focus on what she considers to be the fastest, most efficient course of action in order to achieve her goals.

(Of course, spoilers for the Crimson Flower route, and brief/slight ones for Azure Moon, below the cut)

Throughout Crimson Flower, she’s set on pushing forward with her plans, but visibly fails to consider many peripheral ideas--environmental factors, possible other courses of action, aspects that might shift the flow of the current situation to her advantage or disadvantage even if it’s not the most “efficient” route. Hubert brings up Lord Arundel as a potential point of concern after their victory at Derdriu, but Edelgard chooses to let Arundel do as he pleases until the very end, even though she will have to rise to meet TWSITD sooner or later. At another point, Edelgard states that if they will have to fight a given enemy eventually, then reducing their numbers is advantageous either way, although strategically, this is not always true. And throughout their battles,Edelgard sees that her allies are exhausted, low on morale, and maybe even losing hope. But she avoids addressing this directly, instead preferring to press on in order to end the war as fast as possible. 

It’s not that she’s following the path of blood that has been laid out before her and committing violence without any consideration at all. She does her best to bolster her allies’ spirits where possible and celebrates major victories. She still sees her opponents (e.g. Claude) as human. And she doesn’t aim to kill where she doesn’t feel she needs to (see the citizens of the port in the Derdriu chapter, and Cornelia in “The Siege of Arianrhod”). In her paralogue, we even see her desire to ally with the Almyran troops who attacked Fodlan’s Locket: 

Instead of Edelgard being simply predisposed to violence as the fastest way to her goal, my impression was more that this constant forward motion on a narrow path was out of desperation. I think it’s more about fear that if she loses this momentum, the weight of everything that she’s done (and still has to do) would catch up to her. Her initiative proves her greatest advantage at the beginning of the war, and she references in her B support with Ferdinand that in some cases, it could be her only advantage. To lose this could be to lose everything that she’s worked for up to this point.

To me, the tragic thing about this is, in rising to meet your future head-on, you fail to see who and what is around (and behind) you.

She makes decisions (such as the one to let Lord Arundel do as he pleases) that are noticeably rushed and uninformed. She repeatedly leaves her closest allies in the dark about her true plans, fearing that she can trust no one--and then misrepresents the situation to the rest of the Black Eagle Strike Force in order to be able to push forward on a faster path. Because she relies so heavily on her forward momentum, she neglects many other things that are nevertheless critical. While she emphasizes in her A support with Ferdinant that she needs those around her who will force her to consider perspectives contrary to her own, Edelgard’s lack of peripheral vision in the later chapters of Crimson Flower becomes a massive blind spot. 

Therefore, I get the sense that she starts to lose touch with the reality of the situation and retreat back into the mindset that she has to do everything alone. She even seems to retreat from Byleth’s healing presence, where being able to open up to them was clearly important early on in her route. Before the last battles, Edelgard goes from merely confiding in Byleth about the troops’ morale, to pleading them to restore it for her if they’re feeling so confident. She shuts herself in her room to draw a portrait of Byleth, but feels that she failed to capture their likeness--I think this could be due a lack of artistic experience, but also possibly symbolic of having clouded or incomplete perceptions in a wider sense. Out of fear that she’ll lose her momentum, she is unable to consider anything outside of her immediate course of action, and it starts to wear on her mental state and distort her perceptions of reality.

I think it’s interesting comparing this to Azure Moon, where Dimitri comments on how being able to move forward no matter what isn’t necessarily true strength--being able to take the time to grieve and address your own feelings is strength as well. Further, he declares in his final battle with Edelgard in that route, simply but effectively, “All we have is the present.” In his own route, Dimitri gets dragged down by his past--in contrast to Edelgard, who gets swept up in her ideas of the future. The two are complements and opposites in many ways, and I could go on for a long time just about what we can learn as viewers from their interactions. 

Edelgard gets her own (sort of) happy ending in Crimson Flower, and in a sense, I’m relieved that she does. But there’s also a part of me that’s surprised that the issue of Edelgard addressing her fears (or not) never really came to a head, because I spent a lot of my time playing Crimson Flower fearing that it would happen. After all, her inability to confront those fears, and the way in which Byleth becomes a central presence to Edelgard when she realizes she’s able to confide in them--something she doesn’t have in the other routes--are central to Edelgard as a complex, multi-layered character. Her route doesn’t have a true tragic ending, and ultimately she is able to acknowledge that she needs to share her burdens with others (including Byleth) and incorporate alternate perspectives into her own. But I feel like the cautionary message characteristic of tragedy is still readily there: The future comes whether you are ready for it or not--but also, in rushing to meet it, it’s also easy to forget to stay grounded in the present. 

#fire emblem #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #edelgard von hresvelg #this started as a comment on her design #and became a deep character analysis #so here we are