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aronarchy · 1 year

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Why we don’t like it when children hit us back

To all the children who have ever been told to “respect” someone that hated them.

March 21, 2023

Even those of us that are disturbed by the thought of how widespread corporal punishment still is in all ranks of society are uncomfortable at the idea of a child defending themself using violence against their oppressors and abusers. A child who hits back proves that the adults “were right all along,” that their violence was justified. Even as they would cheer an adult victim for defending themself fiercely.

Even those “child rights advocates” imagine the right child victim as one who takes it without ever stopping to love “its” owners. Tear-stained and afraid, the child is too innocent to be hit in a guilt-free manner. No one likes to imagine the Brat as Victim—the child who does, according to adultist logic, deserve being hit, because they follow their desires, because they walk the world with their head high, because they talk back, because they are loud, because they are unapologetically here, and resistant to being cast in the role of guest of a world that is just not made for them.

If we are against corporal punishment, the brat is our gotcha, the proof that it is actually not that much of an injustice. The brat unsettles us, so much that the “bad seed” is a stock character in horror, a genre that is much permeated by the adult gaze (defined as “the way children are viewed, represented and portrayed by adults; and finally society’s conception of children and the way this is perpetuated within institutions, and inherent in all interactions with children”), where the adult fear for the subversion of the structures that keep children under control is very much represented.

It might be very well true that the Brat has something unnatural and sinister about them in this world, as they are at constant war with everything that has ever been created, since everything that has been created has been built with the purpose of subjugating them. This is why it feels unnatural to watch a child hitting back instead of cowering. We feel like it’s not right. We feel like history is staring back at us, and all the horror we felt at any rebel and wayward child who has ever lived, we are feeling right now for that reject of the construct of “childhood innocence.” The child who hits back is at such clash with our construction of childhood because we defined violence in all of its forms as the province of the adult, especially the adult in authority.

The adult has an explicit sanction by the state to do violence to the child, while the child has both a social and legal prohibition to even think of defending themself with their fists. Legislation such as “parent-child tort immunity” makes this clear. The adult’s designed place is as the one who hits, and has a right and even an encouragement to do so, the one who acts, as the person. The child’s designed place is as the one who gets hit, and has an obligation to accept that, as the one who suffers acts, as the object. When a child forcibly breaks out of their place, they are reversing the supposed “natural order” in a radical way.

This is why, for the youth liberationist, there should be nothing more beautiful to witness that the child who snaps. We have an unique horror for parricide, and a terrible indifference at the 450 children murdered every year by their parents in just the USA, without even mentioning all the indirect suicides caused by parental abuse. As a Psychology Today article about so-called “parricide” puts it:

Unlike adults who kill their parents, teenagers become parricide offenders when conditions in the home are intolerable but their alternatives are limited. Unlike adults, kids cannot simply leave. The law has made it a crime for young people to run away. Juveniles who commit parricide usually do consider running away, but many do not know any place where they can seek refuge. Those who do run are generally picked up and returned home, or go back on their own: Surviving on the streets is hardly a realistic alternative for youths with meager financial resources, limited education, and few skills.

By far, the severely abused child is the most frequently encountered type of offender. According to Paul Mones, a Los Angeles attorney who specializes in defending adolescent parricide offenders, more than 90 percent have been abused by their parents. In-depth portraits of such youths have frequently shown that they killed because they could no longer tolerate conditions at home. These children were psychologically abused by one or both parents and often suffered physical, sexual, and verbal abuse as well—and witnessed it given to others in the household. They did not typically have histories of severe mental illness or of serious and extensive delinquent behavior. They were not criminally sophisticated. For them, the killings represented an act of desperation—the only way out of a family situation they could no longer endure.

- Heide, Why Kids Kill Parents, 1992.

Despite these being the most frequent conditions of “parricide,” it still brings unique disgust to think about it for most people. The sympathy extended to murdering parents is never extended even to the most desperate child, who chose to kill to not be killed. They chose to stop enduring silently, and that was their greatest crime; that is the crime of the child who hits back. Hell, children aren’t even supposed to talk back. They are not supposed to be anything but grateful for the miserable pieces of space that adults carve out in a world hostile to children for them to live following adult rules. It isn’t rare for children to notice the adult monopoly on violence and force when they interact with figures like teachers, and the way they use words like “respect.” In fact, this social dynamic has been noticed quite often:

Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority” and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person” and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.

(https://soycrates.tumblr.com/post/115633137923/stimmyabby-sometimes-people-use-respect-to-mean)

But it has received almost no condemnation in the public eye. No voices have raised to contrast the adult monopoly on violence towards child bodies and child minds. No voices have raised to praise the child who hits back. Because they do deserve praise. Because the child who sets their foot down and says this belongs to me, even when it’s something like their own body that they are claiming, is committing one of the most serious crimes against adult society, who wants them dispossessed.

Sources:

“The Adult Gaze: a tool of control and oppression,” https://livingwithoutschool.com/2021/07/29/the-adult-gaze-a-tool-of-control-and-oppression

“Filicide,” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filicide

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bonegloss · 10 months

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You're not a failed artist.

After over almost two decades on the internet, entering various art communities and establishing my online presence, I've noticed something.

The persistent idea that you've "failed" as an artist if you get a "real job" will not go away.

This, for the longest time, permeated my electronic meat slab and nestled in deeply MUCH to my detriment . For years I fought with myself over this idea. Self-flagellating and noisy, negative thoughts were almost suffocating because I was unable to Do Art As A Job consistently and efficiently enough to maintain a living off of it. Between navigating life for almost 30 years not knowing I was autistic (and all that entails) and trying to turn something I love into something I could make a living off of, it was a vicious and repetitive cycle of trying something new, getting burned out, entering a depressive state, climbing out of it, rinse and repeat. This is clearly unsustainable, especially now that I am more independent in my adult life; bills aren't going to wait for me to get out of my depressive funks. Even having jobs and still making art on the side today, this idea is still nestled in there, nagging me sometimes.

Would I like to make a living off of my art? Of course! Would it be even better if I was supported from making stuff from my own IP's? You fucking bet. But I know how I operate, I know I can't personally do that (yet? maybe?). Now, I realize not everyone can just go get a job, and I don't want this to come off as a rally cry to Just Go Out and Work (I know many creative people are disabled or have other reasons they cannot work), but I do want to stress that its okay if art needs to remain more of a hobby than a job. It is okay if you cannot sustain yourself solely as a living artist. Over the years, I've burned myself out so god damn hard and have watched others work themselves to (near) death or can barely scrape by because of this incessant feeling that we need to be doing art 100% of the time to have "made it". It is hurting us both physically and emotionally to keep this shit up.

Going forward, we have to do better. There is no shame in having an income that is not dependent on the things you make. I think that it can help alleviate a lot of stress and fatigue that can become associated with creating (and thus, making it hard to do something you love). We need to learn to be kinder to ourselves and unlearn comparing our experiences to what we see from other creative peers on social media. Its hard, finding work sucks ass, and no job will be perfect, but if it can help you survive a little easier and rekindle your relationship for creating the things you love to make, it'll make a world of difference.

You are not a failed artist. You're doing what you can so you can keep doing what you love.

#*Real Job is used here within the context of mainly not getting employment in a creative field #I know that many creative people are able to get jobs within creative fields #but even that can help alleviate the financial pressure of having your creative outlet be draining #because your livelihood depends on it #Also I would like to note that while it would be nice to have UBI and more support for the arts in general in the US #that is not the case in the current economic setting and I fear it won't be that way for a while so working will have to do for now.#UBI would fix me #art #artists #creative burnout

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elder-millennial-of-zion · 5 months

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Shitting on America like your ethnostate would be anything without America. Of america stopped giving Israel guns and bombs and money and un votes tommorow, Israel would literally be nothing.

So are Jews evil because we love America, or because we hate America? I can’t keep up.

You’ve used “colonialist” and now “ethnostate.” All you need is “apartheid” and “genocide” and you’ve got bingo.

#ask #antisemitism #israel #it’s so confusing why Jews are evil #are we too loyal to America or too disloyal?#are we capitalists or communists?#are we all white or all not white?#do we control the economy or are we dependent on economic aid?#should we leave Israel or leave every other country?#just give me some direction here

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jeromepowell · 2 months

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if you ask me a “what if” question, my answer will be “it depends.” no exceptions.

#federal reserve #the fed #federal open market committee #interest rates #economics #jerome powell #jay speaks #reporters cannot ask me what if x and y happens bc it depends on a-w

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theroundbartable · 2 months

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Me: positive responses to my school work? The hell?

Teacher: well, yeah, you did good-

Me: but this- I! Did this!

Teacher: yes. Well done

Me: holy shite! I did good? What if I do another task?

Teacher: awesome!!!!

Me:

I present to you: the mind boggling concept of getting praised for your accomplishments rather than punished for your mistakes.

I've been living off this experience for over 6 months.

#uni #personal #praise #it's like wtf #and yeah i know i get compliments in ao3 comments and under art posts #but there is a difference #i'm doing art and writing for fun and don't owe you anything #so critique would simply cause me to stop sharing stuff #so praise here as economical value #but my teachers have faces #and I am depending on their good will #there is a different power dynamic between us than between a writer and their voluntary comment section #though writing and your responses still do mean the world to me #i think you know what I mean

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ancient-rome-au · 1 year

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The Vanilla Expedition (Part IV)

#the vanilla expedition #I restricted this list to trade goods with relatively high ratios of economic value to volume #to avoid wasting limited cargo space on stuff that isn't very valuable #but ultimately the sale value of these goods will depend on where you go looking for vanilla...#...hopefully in the correct direction!#but that will be the next poll :)

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poibynt · 7 months

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The earlier HTTYD books occasionally refer to Hiccup as 'the last great viking hero' which is already a bit melancholy but grows even more so with the context of the later books. I doubt viking society as it was known and understood just totally imploded into dust during Hiccup's lifetime, it's even implied in his old man monologues that that doesn't happen. But it does imply that the end of the viking age, the death of the viking world and way of life is rapidly approaching. Just as the dragon time is over, and the dragons are slowly, slowly leaving as Hiccup grows up and old, the Viking time ends and they too slowy, slowly, die out. I wonder if Hiccup saw this coming decline and thought it was because the vikings couldn't live without dragons, economically and spiritually. How awful, to lose the thing you fought to save and sent away and then your culture year after year.

#httyd books #httyd book spoilers #realistically 'culture death' is a lot more complicated outside of 'and then something happened and everyone here died oops'#The actual viking age ended but people were obviously still living in Scandinavia & it was a very long and messy transition #The 'viking age' was more of a thing historians imposed onto history rather than a clear cut rise of x culture abrupt end of x culture #But #The HTTYD vikings have been DEPENDING on dragons for centuries #it's a huge part of their culture their farming their very survival #Slavery human and dragon was lowkey the backbone of a huge portion of viking society.#idk if Hiccup and a centralised government/sovereign could have pulled them out of the tailspin loosing dragons would eventually put them i #Economics aside the loss of dragons after a couple of generations would start affecting culture aesthetics etc which might have led #to a new culture divorced from a lot of OG HTTYD viking society #either way I don't think the vikings as a culture and society survive the loss of dragons #shut up flynn

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terroristiraqi · 3 months

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quick anyone have sources on how israel dominates palestinian economy

#p #prompt is 'palestinian dependence on israel economically' but we all know what it is #oh and anything on disabled palestinians + maybe any support systems made for them #i need to give this committee report tmrw and i have done. absolutely nothing

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pepi-nillo · 27 days

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reading the orv novel at this pace isn't enough i need to inject it straight to my brain

#i'm not even caught up with the webcomic help #and i'm seeing more orv art in my feeds and i need to understand absolutely everything #i'm emotionally dependent on fictional and doubly fictional men #also i had my first job interview ever today #i think it was good? i have to thank tumblr and the entire internet for making me learn english all by myself for almost ten years #as the post is mainly about orv you may be able to tell my priorities #honestly the job is pretty much a dream job for a student like me but it'd be a lil complicated if they chose me #but if i want to economically support some kpop men i'll need money so let's see if i get a callback #omniscient reader's viewpoint #also i have two more exams to take this week so i definitely can't read many orv chapters for now #yapping is my passion sorry i'll go now 🤸‍♀️

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geisterland · 23 days

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Brazil historically speaking had a great economic relationship with the UK following our independence (before that, we were on good terms too but that was serving the Portugal-UK relationships, see the Strangford Treaty). Until the horrors (the Christie Question). Later Brazil restored diplomatic relationships with the UK but I think the Christie Question was irreparable damage and nowadays we just have a good, mostly neutral relationship.

#geisttalk #if you're wondering how it ties into the CH aspect #I think they're just like... In good Overall terms #nothing really that special. at least not compared to the good economic relationship pre-1865 #in which Brazil was pretty economically dependant on him

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an-organized-confusion · 9 months

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This may be a little topical but watching a[nother] doc on SBF and the collapse of FTX really twists up the rhetorical angle of "effective altruism" brought up in POF.

Like. That collapse was kind of doomed to happen given how actually idealistic/naive some of the starting assumptions for EA are. One of which is not asking what forces even makes charity a "necessity" to speak of - wealth hoarding.

In order to get filthy stinking rich to "give back even more" you will fall into capitalism's traps. You will become the monster that makes people go to bread lines. You will have to fall into the trap of endless profits - and becoming more and more miserly when it comes to reporting to your investors and to the government.

Because to those investors? They couldn't give less of a shit how much you spend on "philanthropy" as long as you show infinite growth. It's why mass lay-offs can STILL happen during a GOOD quarter or product release. It's why rich philanthropy is pocket change compared to if said rich people didn't wriggle themselves outta paying taxes.

Taxes that fund social security, welfare programs, education, infrastructure, etc. Things that actually help people.

What I'm saying is - I think Janus (and Logan?) was definitely playing into some pro-capitalist rhetoric here. Which, I think should be more taken as a dialectic. Janus is known to discard inconvenient facts to make his arguments... but I do think his greatest value is to simply make one think about stuff more critically/comprehensively. Offering more questions to ask.

Neither Janus nor Patton has ALL the answers in the topic of ethics/morality. One can take/leave what works from their discussion as one sees fit. This is just me rambling/reflecting on it.

#sanders sides #janus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #(... i fully recognize my... biases here)#(but EA really is dependent on the notion that rich people will give back in any meaningful proportion)#(and that frankly has /never/ bore out in reality - under enough scrutiny)#(EA has some value when applied into personal life - but w/ heavy nuance/caveats applied)#(this aint a jan hate post - i don't hate any of the sides... just something that settles strangely/fascinatingly)#(frankly the SBF/FTX/AR mess is a good case study on the limitations of EA)#(mod post)#economics/

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breitzbachbea · 3 months

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Logging off and trying to fall asleep quickly enough to not miss my hairdresser appointment tomorrow while I think about all possible scenarios of toxic, problematic, sweet sweet Kilick love.

#beablabbers #storie nostre #kili #paddy #I love how instead of the usual derry trio ot3 I end up when the boys are front and center #We find ourselves with three man with complicated friendship histories and also a whole lot of romantic baggage I would assume #They could fuck. Surely none of them really focus on like aspects of free love or whatever #or even if you are ideologically opposed against marriage that creates economic dependence and thusly economic power imbalance #that still does not help you navigate lying in bed with the partners in crime you know better than anyone else #and wondering what to do with the stupid carnal longing that comes with all that comradery

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echidnana · 6 months

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made $26 by being a communist fuck yeah

#context we participated in an economics experiment #where the amount u get paid depends on ur actions and stuff in an economic simulation w a group #whats that one post. abt how communism is op in economic games #yeah #confluence.txt

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sunburnacoustic · 1 year

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Muse: 'We thrive on demons'

Ed Power in the Irish paper Independent, 25 June 2010

On a sweltering summer afternoon Matt Bellamy is coming to terms with a new sensation: life as a tabloid plaything. For years the world's most anonymous stadium rock star, the Muse frontman finds himself in the gossip headlights on account of his friendship—and rumoured romance—with actress Kate Hudson. The intrusiveness takes a little getting used to, acknowledges the singer, who last year split from his long-term Italian girlfriend.

"I didn't expect that," Bellamy (32) says of the attention his relationship with Hudson has attracted. "It's quite a surprise. It reminds me of when our first album came out — suddenly we were hit with a barrage of negative reviews. You grow up and you're making art and intending to communicate with people — and, for the first time, you have to take the opinions that are coming back at you. There was a barrage of negative comments and it was a big learning curve — to understand and respect other people's opinions, whether positive or negative. I don't see any difference with this [the Hudson rumours] really."

A prominent student of conspiracy theories, Bellamy once told an interviewer 9/11 was an 'inside job' (an opinion he has since recanted). His treatment at the hands of the celebrity industrial complex certainly feeds into his dramatic world view.

"I've been close to a couple of people over the years who have had a genuine celebrity life," he says. "I'm glad I've avoided it completely. It's shocking how much of what you read is absolutely made up. It's never happened to me, I've never been part of that world. People genuinely make things up — things which tend to be negative in their connotations. I can't say if it's a conspiracy. It's unquestionably a sign that people want to bring others down to a certain level. Which is part of human nature really."

Soft spoken, if a bit blunt, Bellamy will never be mistaken for Bono or Chris Martin. And yet, Muse are arguably as big as U2 or Coldplay. Jaws dropped when it was announced they were to headline Wembley stadium in London a few years back, but such was the demand for tickets, they were forced to tack on a second date. When their new album, The Resistance, came out last autumn, it went straight to number one in 16 countries (and to number three in the US); to date it has shifted a properly whopping eight million copies. Not too shabby for a trio who, early in their career, were disparaged as unimaginative Radiohead copyists.

"If you're trying to be cool, you're automatically not cool," says Bellamy of the group's fractious relationship with critics. "As I've said, when our first album appeared, we were hit with a negative response from the UK press, whereas in France we were seen as an exceptionally interesting new band and started to do really well. That changed our perspective. A lot of bands concentrate on their home territory first, but we actually got known in France before we did in the UK. Even at a very early stage, we started going to Italy, Germany, even Japan. So I'm probably thankful for the negative response the first album had."

Somewhere between a '70s prog LP and an L Ron Hubbard sci-fi novel, The Resistance is Muse at their quintessentially battiest. A blitzkrieg of guitars, synths and detonating drums, it explodes from the speakers like the soundtrack to the end of the world (or at least the end of the world imagined by Michael Bay). It is also a conduit for many of Bellamy's frankly rather loopy theories, as hinted at by Chomsky-esque, grandly paranoid song titles such as The United States of Eurasia (+Collateral Damage) and Exogenesis Symphony Parts 1-3 (only Muse could christen a track Supermassive Black Hole and leave you feeling that they had undersold it a tad).

Not that the singer is completely away with the Cosmonauts. On the album's first single, Uprising, he has interesting things to say about the recent global economic implosion. Against a backdrop of caterwauling keyboards and gut-punch riffs, Bellamy urges the listener to "rise up and take the power back, it's time that the fat cats had a heart attack". You suspect he wouldn't approve of the Anglo bailout.

"I'm not a religious person. The one thing religion has got right is that usury is a fundamental problem with the worldwide banking system," he says, donning a tin-foil hat. "Lending money with interest is dependent on there being permanent economic growth. And permanent growth is only sustainable if the earth is endless, which it isn't. It's a finite resource. For that reason, the laws of physics will always kick in. The solution is to move away from usury, to a system in which the lender has to share in the profits of the company to which they are lending, so that they can't blithely depend on the interest."

Such unorthodox views undoubtedly add colour to Muse's bombastic pop -- especially as the band incorporate global conspiracy nuttiness into their shows via Bladerunner-style video montages. However, they have also made life difficult for Bellamy. Just this week, flying into New York, he was taken aside by Homeland Security for a prolonged grilling.

"I do get pulled to one side every single time I enter the country," he sighs. "And I get questioned for half an hour. I've asked them what it's about. They tell me the best thing I can do is contact the British Embassy and find out why I'm being flagged."

Surely he has his own thoughts as to why he's a target? "I don't know. I've tried to get to the bottom of it. They say it's because I've got two passports. Well, all my band members have two passports. That doesn't make sense. They always question me, whether I'm working or not. There was one time I got taken off a plane 'cos I made a bad joke [in a row with a stewardess, he quipped that it wasn't as if he had a bomb in his luggage]. This was in England, actually. It probably has something to do with that."

One of Bellamy's great unfulfilled ambitions is to sit down for a cup of tea with David Icke, the conspiracy theorist's conspiracy theorist. In addition to believing a cabal of lizard men pulls the levers of world politics, Icke, a former professional goalkeeper, is of the opinion the earth will shortly will be ripped asunder by earthquakes and that he is the son of God. Bellamy, who once tried to arrange for Icke to come on stage at a Muse concert and deliver a spoken-word piece, suspects they'd get on swimmingly.

"I'd love to meet him and have a chat. A lot of things he writes are very, very far out — very much on the fringes of journalism. I'd like to find out what I'd think of him face to face. Whether he's normal or, you know, a crazy person — or where he'd fall in between."

On the subject of public figures with messiah complexes, Muse toured with Bono and U2 last year. Their stint on the road afforded Bellamy a close-up glimpse of the U2 machine and he was struck by what he saw.

"Those guys treat their crew very, very well. They are very good to the people around them, both personally and business-wise, and there's something to be learned from that. They have a great gang of support around them. A lot of the people close to them have been there for 20-odd years. They seem really nice guys. I was surprised —the energy level they have for partying is quite high. I would have thought when you reach your older years maybe you calm down a bit. Definitely not — they were having some pretty raging parties after most of their gigs."

Of course, along with France and Germany, Ireland was one of the earliest territories to fall for Muse in a big way. The band recorded their third record, Absolution, here, assembling it in the far reaches of rural Westmeath, at Grouse Lodge Studio. "We've always thrived on the madness that descends when you're on your own and there's nothing around," says Bellamy. "Our first album was made in a residential studio in Cornwall, about as remote as you can get. A lot of our best recording experiences have been when we were in places like the studio in Westmeath, places where you are cut away from everyone. Some bands find it weird, I think, because you end up having to stare inside yourself too much. They self-destruct because they have to face too many demons. We thrive on demons."

At Oxegen, Muse will debut a new song, a characteristically understated piece called Neutron Star Collision (Love Is Forever) from the soundtrack to the forthcoming Twilight movie, Eclipse. They have contributed to all three Twilight films — it turns out Bellamy was an early fan of the teen goth franchise and a friend of its creator, Stephenie Meyer. "I heard about it way back. Stephenie came to one of our gigs in Phoenix in Arizona. I was told there was this amazing new novelist. I did read the first one and quite enjoyed it. I met her and she said, 'I'd love to use your music in a film one day'. I didn't think anything would come of it. But I made a promise and when she sold the rights they contacted me and said, 'oh apparently you're going to give Stephenie some music'. So we did."

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Thanks to @morning-asters for finding this!

#long post #muse interviews #muse band #full interviews #matt bellamy #muse #2010 #The Resistance #I guess uh tw for Matt being in the thick of his conspiracy theory era?#also this is the interview in which he mentions being questioned every time he entered the US #I wonder if/when that stopped given he now lives in LA #notably — this is from 2010:#'Lending money with interest is dependent on there being permanent economic growth. And permanent growth is only sustainable if the earth i #which it isn't. It's a finite resource. For that reason the laws of physics will always kick in.'#-> The ideas for The 2nd Law were already percolating in his brain in 2010!#music journalism #music interviews

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