#emotional turmoil with him is abound

[darkhearthorns]

v4; medieval || ruthless tyrant

Species: Human-Warlock Hybrid Height and Weight: Maverick stands tall, towering over his subjects with an imposing presence. His height is around 6 feet 5 inches (195 cm), making him an intimidating figure in any room. He possesses a strong and robust build, with a weight of approximately 220 pounds (100 kg), reflecting his physical strength and prowess.

Appearance: Maverick's appearance reflects his dark and menacing nature, befitting his role as a ruthless tyrant.

Countenance: Maverick's face is chiseled, with sharp features that exude an air of authority and cruelty. His facial expressions often carry a cold, calculating gaze that strikes fear into the hearts of those who meet his gaze.

Hair: He has jet-black hair, usually worn shoulder-length or slightly longer, falling in thick waves that frame his face. His hair is meticulously groomed, emphasizing his regal stature.

Eyes: Maverick's eyes are piercing and intense, like deep pools of darkness. They possess a cold, steely gaze that reveals little emotion, always observing and analyzing his surroundings.

Complexion: His complexion is pale, almost porcelain-like, contrasting starkly with the darkness that surrounds him. The absence of color in his skin serves as a stark reminder of the absence of mercy in his rule.

Attire: Maverick dresses in dark, opulent garments that befit his position of power. He often wears elaborate and regal black robes adorned with intricate silver or obsidian embellishments. His attire is both a symbol of his authority and a reflection of his affinity for darkness.

Demeanor: Maverick carries himself with a commanding presence, walking with purpose and confidence. His movements are deliberate and measured, conveying a sense of power and control.

Background: In this dark and tumultuous setting, Maverick is a feared and ruthless tyrant who presides over the Blackthorn Kingdom. The kingdom lies in a perpetual state of chaos and turmoil, with its people living in constant fear under Maverick's oppressive rule. He seized control of the throne through a combination of cunning, manipulation, and brute force, eliminating his rivals and solidifying his authority.

Maverick's reign is centered around the foreboding Obsidian Citadel, a stronghold that serves as both his seat of power and a symbol of his dark rule. It is within the walls of this formidable fortress that his new wives mysteriously vanish, their fates obscured by the shadows of secrecy. Rumors abound that Maverick is directly responsible for their untimely demise, yet no evidence has surfaced to substantiate these claims, leaving the truth surrounding their deaths shrouded in mystery.

Engaging in frequent battles, Maverick is a formidable warrior who revels in violence. The Nightshade Realm, the land under his dominion, is a realm of perpetual darkness and treachery. Maverick employs his armies to wage war, extending his influence and crushing any opposition that dares to challenge his iron-fisted rule.

Statistics:

Master Strategist: Maverick possesses a keen tactical mind, able to formulate intricate battle plans and exploit the weaknesses of his enemies. He strategically maneuvers his forces and capitalizes on opportunities to further his conquest and maintain his grip on power.

Combat Prowess: Maverick is a highly skilled and merciless combatant. He wields a wickedly sharp obsidian blade, a symbol of his authority and ruthlessness. His proficiency in a variety of combat styles, both armed and unarmed, makes him a formidable adversary on the battlefield.

Aura of Fear: Maverick's reputation as a ruthless tyrant precedes him, and his presence alone instills fear in the hearts of those around him. The Nightshade Realm quivers under the weight of his oppressive rule, and his subjects dare not cross him for fear of severe consequences.

Manipulative Charisma: Maverick possesses a charismatic demeanor that enables him to manipulate and control others to serve his own interests. He is adept at exploiting the fears and desires of his subjects, using their loyalty or vulnerabilities as tools for his dominion.

Shadow Mastery: Maverick has delved into the forbidden arts of shadow magic, harnessing its power to augment his combat abilities and manipulate the darkness to his advantage. He can summon and command shadows, plunging his enemies into disarray and confusion.

Enigmatic Nature: Maverick's true intentions and the extent of his dark deeds remain veiled in mystery. He is a master of intrigue and deception, keeping his enemies off balance and his subjects in a state of constant uncertainty.

Oppressive Rule: Maverick's tyrannical rule is marked by strict laws, harsh punishments, and a complete disregard for the well-being of his subjects. He rules through fear, suppressing any form of dissent and maintaining a tight grip on every aspect of the Nightshade Realm.

Unyielding Willpower: Maverick possesses an indomitable will and an unwavering determination to maintain his power. He is unafraid to face any challenge head-on, even at the cost of personal sacrifice or the lives of other.

#v4; medieval || ruthless tyrant #verses

[finepairingspodcast]

My dad keep asking me about the fic i abounded, everytime i go home... it's like getting "pls update🥺" but in the middle of conversations about politics.

That is tough stuff, I’m sorry you’re getting that pressure.

If you need him to lay off a little you could try telling him that there’s some drama in the fandom that can only be resolved by the next <insert media installment> (season, movie, episode etc) and you want to see how that works out before you update your work.

Or you could be honest and say something vague about how some other thing has taken more precedent in your life (other fic, school, work, etc) and so you’re taking a break from it.

There’s so much emotion tied up in the creative process, and so I’ll remind you that you’re not beholden to anyone to create. But also I completely empathize in the emotional turmoil that is held in the receiving of the large eyes emoji 🥺

If Michelangelo is allowed to have “non-finito” pieces (which are still widely celebrated in the art world mind you), so are you.

#fp anon asks #anonymous #finepairings

[roxsannel]

The Uncrowned King (The Blood Prince Book 2) by Ayla Marie.

Leo, his family and their newfound friends are back but the danger is nowhere near over for this rag tag band, they are trying to adjust to the life that they have found since Leo was introduced to the royal family in Illena since finding out he is a lost prince from their bloodline. Meanwhile, he is trying to come to terms with everything which has happened recently, especially about the ones he has left behind and those he has lost, but his brother is helping him not to fall down the rabbit hole of despair which he is determined not to fall back into.

Meanwhile, the group are learning how to live within their newly acquired luxurious lifestyle and all the pitfalls which come with living in polite society. However, they have not only caught the attention of the other royals, a band of ne'er-do-wells are also keeping them in their sights, but they have no idea just who they are tailing and how quickly the tables can be turned on them, especially as time moves on and the parallels between their and Leo's lives become apparent and a truce is called.

As the days pass and things move along, Leo is finally starting to hope that this is a place where they can finally settle and maybe find the peace that they are all so desperately looking for, but as soon as he starts to let his guard down, his past come straight back in to rip it to pieces, but this time with all his emotional turmoil, can he stop himself from falling into the endless downward spiral he dreads, or will he be forced to meld his past and present to protect his future? This is another fast-paced dive into this fantasy world where truths, lies, revelations and secrets abound as the twists and turns in this emotional rollercoaster which will leave you gasping and living the "one last chapter" dream until you reach the end.

#journey of a lifetime #chronic illness #invisible illness #cvid #common variable immunodeficiency #zebra #zebra strong #fibromyalgia #spoonie #spoonie life #spoonie reads

[milkbottl3s]

[Johzenji.png]- He’s trash, but please be gentle with him.

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[Insta]: kags_milkboi

[Twitter]: Nightwings_Ass

#oc #original character #character design #trash boi #feralboi #yes #he's an oc #and I love him #and hate him #believe me when I say #emotional turmoil with him is abound #you've been warned #proceed at your discretion #art #artists on tumblr #artist #digital illustration #digitalart

[franniebanana]

CQL Rewatch - Ep15

I forgot this guy’s name, Yao or something? Honestly, I don’t care enough to research this, like, at all. I hate this guy. My friend and I now refer to him as the Hype Man, so I might just call him that from now on. But I wanted to say that I didn’t realize he was in it so early, so when I saw him, I was like, “That fucking guy!!” And I also totally missed that the point of Jiang Fengmian leaving was to take this worthless piece of trash somewhere. I wish he’d died haha. But then I guess there’d be less reason to hate him, and I enjoy hating him.

I can’t believe this is the first paragraph that people are going to see. If you’re reading this now, you’re like, why do I want to read this crap? And y’know what, I can’t blame you. The next few episodes are gonna be rough. I don’t even know if there will be much to say on my end. My friend, after watching these few episodes commented something like, “Huh, that really dragged.” I could only agree, pulling my hair out from the headache these few episodes were giving me.

Okay, but seriously, Yao is so pathetic here! Talking about how he never thought they’d end up like this, and, “Oh, we were just a small clan, woe is me!” It’s amazing that he turns into the biggest prick, always right there hyping up the scapegoat-blame game rhetoric. Sorry, I hate this fucker.

A rare nice moment from Madam Yu. It was sweet having her show a caring side, packing medicine for her husband, snacks for her daughter. But of course, it was because Jiang Yanli had come to say goodbye to her earlier. Jiang Cheng is really like his mother—they can’t do anything for kindness’s sake, there’s always an obligation to the kindness.

I hate Wang Lingjiao, but I love her, and I love hating her. I’m conflicted. She’s just such a fun, evil character, more fun than Xue Yang in my opinion, probably because she actual interacts with the main characters in the story. It will forever annoy me that Xue Yang gets so much attention for appearing in a long-ass flashback (via empathy) and what should have been a flashback (Chang Clan) but wasn’t because they wanted it to be padding, I guess.

Anyway, Wang Lingjiao. She’s fun, she goes completely nuts—what’s not to love about her? She’s also someone who is so similar to Madam Yu, but because she also is ambitious and wants to take over Lotus Pier, Madam Yu wants her dead. Haha!

While Madam Yu is, objectively, a horrible person, I actually really like how her bodyguards aren’t treated like servants. I like that there’s mutual respect there, as there should be when you’re talking about protecting someone. Unfortunately, I think Madam Yu treats them better than her own family in most cases. It’s cool that the Jiang Clan doesn’t rely on servants to get food and tea and whatnot. These are things that the disciples and leaders must do for themselves. By contrast, the Jins have so many servants—it’s almost obscene by comparison.

Also I want to point out how hot-headed Jiang Cheng gets here, while his mother is just cool as a cucumber. It really shows you how unready he is to actually lead (which she points out). He’s so emotional, quick to anger, yet he has none of the foundations to really lead a group of people. Even when the disciples are explaining to them what happened to the kid and the kite, it’s Wei Wuxian who is keeping everyone calm and asking the questions.

I love that his first reaction here is to insult Wang Lingjiao’s intelligence. We’re basically getting a parallel to how he reacts to Wen Chao, which is fun because you can see how his behavior hasn’t changed at all. He uses his wit in both situations and is easily able to outwit both Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao. What’s kind of interesting is that Jiang Cheng will speak up now when he wouldn’t before. And I wonder is it because he is guilty for being silent earlier with Wen Chao, or is it something else? I think ultimately Jiang Cheng blames Jin Xizuan, Lan Wangji, and Wei Wuxian for what happens to his parents and to Lotus Pier. Even though, logically, it would have been destroyed anyway, he still wants to place the blame on someone who he can reach. All this is to say, I don’t think Jiang Cheng regrets not speaking up at the Wen Indoctrination. So I think he feels superiority over Wang Lingjiao really because he thinks she’s a stupid woman. And duh, she is not that clever. But she is smart enough to be able to use what talents she has to get ahead. She apparently is favored over Wen Chao’s own wife (who knew he was even married—not me lol), and you have to be ambitious and have some smarts to get that far. That’s not to say that Jiang Cheng wouldn’t treat a man this way too—I think he would. I think he picks and chooses who he’ll stand up to. He’s on his own turf, she’s an invader, she’s a woman—she only brought a few henchmen, right? He’s also been charged with watching over Lotus Pier in his father’s absence. Maybe he just wants to look big for once. Just a thought. Take it or leave it.

So, I think Madam Yu is enjoying this. She’s getting two things she wants: the Wens are going to leave and she gets to beat the shit out of Wei Wuxian. She doesn’t even have to be prodded to punish him, right? She barely waits until Wang Lingjiao has finished speaking. This has something she’s wanted to do for a long time. I think she’s hit him before, yes? But she can go all out right now, since Jiang Fengmian, his only real protector, is gone.

Also Jiang Cheng! Man, he’s torn apart! He hates to see this happening to Wei Wuxian—yes, he blames him for all that shit, but he doesn’t want to see this happen to him. It’s actually harder to watch Jiang Cheng in all of this than Wei Wuxian, who mostly remains as stoic as he could possibly be while she’s whipping the shit out of him. And again here, we get Wei Wuxian telling Jiang Cheng not to interfere, because the last thing he wants is for Jiang Cheng to be penalized too. He’s fine receiving this punishment because it’s a “better me than him” kind of a thing. It’s harder to watch someone else suffer than to suffer ourselves, right? I’m like that, idk if you readers are, but I think a lot of people are like that. I mean, I’ve always been that way, but it’s been amplified since I became a parent. And not only is he accepting of being whipped by Zidian, he’s ready to lose his fucking right hand. The hand that he wields a sword with. His dominant hand. He is ready to lose it with absolutely no fuss. That’s how much Wei Wuxian cares about Lotus Pier. His response is, “I’ll have to learn how to use my left hand.” It’s a passing line, a line when you can’t even see his face—but do you get how big that is? Jiang Cheng is up there losing his mind, completely emotional, crying, yelling at his mother to stop—Wei Wuxian is just silently gritting his teeth and taking it. They’re both brave (I would not want to stand up to Madam Yu), but different kinds of brave, y’know?

I do love this part. I’m not gonna lie. Seeing Madam Yu slap Wang Lingjiao around is something that’s deeply, deeply satisfying. I guess it’s just nice to see Madam Yu’s anger turned towards an actual villain, since up until this point, it’s been directly mainly at Wei Wuxian and her own husband. I think this part is forever tainted if you know how the story goes, because Madam Yu is just on fire! But if you’ve seen this series before, which hopefully you have (otherwise spoilers abound), you know it doesn’t end well for her. I like this plot device here, making you think that the good guys are going to come out on top, and then reversing it so quickly as soon as the Core-Melting Hand shows up. One minute, you’re cheering, the next, you’re…not.

I also want to point out how quickly things reverse here as well. Jiang Cheng is trying to protect and comfort Wei Wuxian throughout this whole scene, which is something we’re definitely not used to seeing. This has always (and I mean always) been more of Lan Wangji’s thing. But in kind of a nice twist of fate, we actually see Jiang Cheng caring for Wei Wuxian. But then, boy, do things change! We see a complete reversal of this behavior—first Wei Wuxian has to be there for Jiang Cheng’s emotional state, and then his physical one. And the man does not complain about it at all.

I want to say that I didn’t cry in my first watch of CQL until episode 50. That is 100% the truth, so help me God. However, when I watched this scene in the donghua, I cried like a little bitch. Cried probably isn’t the right word—how about sobbed. I sobbed. I think because I knew it was coming when I watched CQL, it didn’t really affect me (plus my husband was right there, not paying attention, but still on the couch with me, so I tend to not cry as much when he’s around. I like to cry on my own, okay?). Having said that, the second time I saw this scene, I fucking cried, and I really didn’t stop until after they told Jiang Yanli, because that sweetheart crying makes me cry, okay? I have a really hard time watching things about children and parents, because I always think about my own parents and my own kid, so it just makes me really emotional. The idea of never seeing your parents again, especially in such a traumatic situation, at the age of what—17? That’s something I can’t even begin to imagine. In a word, horrific. Traumatic isn’t even a strong enough word to describe the emotional and mental turmoil that a teenager would be going through. But I can probably ramble about that later.

And my heart breaks for Wei Wuxian here too. Even though she hated him, even though she treated him so poorly, I’m sure he still thought of her as something akin to a mother. She was the only mother figure he had in his life who was still living, so there was definitely an attachment there (and this is proven later). Even being acknowledged by her here must mean something to him. She may hate him, but she trusts him to keep her children safe and to protect them. It’s honestly so sad.

Ugh, this is hard to watch. As a mother, the idea of sending your kid adrift when you know you’ll probably never see them again is so heartbreaking. The connection you have with your children is something that no other relationship can match, whether you physically bore your children or not. They are a part of you. Like, let’s be real, raising children is difficult—they can test your patience, make you angry, make you sad and hurt (toddlers don’t care about you, yeah, I said it)—but you love them in spite of it all. And for me, I can never really hate Madam Yu. I can find her attitude and treatment of certain individuals deplorable, but at the end of the day, she loved her children. Was she a good mom? No, probably not. But I don’t think Jiang Fengmian was a good dad either (although I think he tried a bit harder). But I think she loved A-Cheng and A-Li, and I think she trusted Wei Wuxian to protect them. I think she gave him that shred of respect at the end.

In case you’re wondering, I fucking cried through to the end of this episode. I mean, Jesus, Yanli just gets immediately thrown into another boat and tied up with her brothers, after finding out that her mother might be dead already, and then her dad abandons them too. I just can’t.

I’m sorry this was short (maybe I’m not sorry, depending on how much you like the episode). I’m going to try and knock out more than one episode per week because I just don’t have a lot to say. These are mainly getting through the plot episodes, if you know what I mean.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |

#wei wuxian #jiang cheng #cql #the untamed #jiang yanli #jiang fengmian #madam yu #wen zhuliu #core-melting hand #wang lingjiao #jiaojiao #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #cql rewatch #wwx

[cruelfeline]

As we all know, I am highly partial to Hordak and find him extremely sympathetic. While I don’t really talk about it much (because this is a Hordak Zone), I also find Catra extremely sympathetic.

The one known villain I don’t find very sympathetic is Shadow Weaver, and I swear it’s not for lack of trying! I’ve read people’s metas. I’ve watched Light Spinner over and over, trying to pick it apart and find that demonstration of SW’s inner turmoil, but it’s all been in vain. And I think I know why. So I’m going to discuss it while using Catra and Hordak as comparisons.

Hordak and Catra both suffer from a poor sense of self-worth and severe difficulty self-validating without the approval/affection of the abusers in their lives. Catra cannot be at peace without proving herself to Shadow Weaver (and Adora, though obviously she’s not an abuser). Hordak cannot be at peace without proving himself to Horde Prime.

I’ve seen it said that Shadow Weaver suffers from the same difficulty: namely one of self-worth and, as often follows, self-loathing. The problem I have with this is that, while I can look at Catra and identify the source of her issue (Shadow Weaver), and I can look at Hordak and identify the same (Horde Prime), I can’t actually look at Shadow Weaver and understand why she supposedly feels the way she does.

The answer to this that I’ve seen floating about is that the ruling guild of Mystacor is the source, that they have never trusted her, that they look down upon her and thus cause her this emotional turmoil. Potentially suggested in the scene pictured above. And I... hm. Hmmm. 

I just don’t see it.

The thing that makes Catra and Hordak’s stories work is that their abusers harm them for no fair reason. 

Catra is essentially abused because she is not Adora (no, I don’t buy SW’s claim that it’s because she sees herself in her, mainly for reasons that we’re discussing in this post right now). 

Hordak is abused first because he suffered physical illness (as far as we currently know; I know various free-will theories abound), and later because he became an “abomination” by daring to exercise his will and take a name. 

Both of these reasons are cruel, unfair, and unjust. There’s no logic behind them save for the ugliness of their perpetrators. There’s nothing anyone can say that can justify little baby Catra’s suffering, and while some may try to support Hordak’s treatment by pointing out his own evil deeds, the fact remains that he is not hurt because of those deeds; he is hurt because he got sick, and later because he has to gall to be his own person.

With Shadow Weaver, this pattern just doesn’t work. Yes, we see the Guild distrust her, shoot her ideas down, reject her proposal, but it’s for a good reason. Her plan is dangerous. It is foolhardy. It is just a bad plan. Mind you, I agree with the sentiment that the Guild should take greater action against the Horde, but that does not mean that Shadow Weaver’s proposal is the right way to do it. 

It would be one thing if she proposed the idea, got shot down, did it anyway, and ended up succeeding, but that’s not what happens. She gets shot down, does it anyway (wrongly thinking she’s altered the spell), risks Micah’s life, risks her own life, becomes a magical parasite, kills some people, and magically consumes a goat man. The Guild may not have trusted her, but the way the narrative works out, it was for good reason.

If the writers want me to group SW in with the likes of Catra and Hordak, even a little, then they should portray her supposed plight as unfair to her. They should, in some way, demonstrate that the Guild didn’t trust her for illogical, unjust reasons. As it stands, the Guild’s distrust ends up being the right call, because Shadow Weaver’s plans end up mutilating her and costing others their lives. And, after this, she follows her powerlust to the Horde, negating any sort of “planet-saving” endgame she may have been able to claim as justification for it all.  

It’s funny; I initially went into the Light Spinner episode really looking forward to connecting with SW in some way, but I came out of it somewhat disappointed. I just don’t feel like the writers made a good case for SW being anything but a power-hungry individual, especially when the Guild rejecting her proposition is followed up with a scene like this:

Focusing on being held back from power, rather than on the Horde, really does not a sympathetic look make. Rather, it makes her look like someone who thinks very highly of herself and is pissed when others don’t agree. It makes her look arrogant, especially with her (failed) claim that she “fixed” the spell of obtainment.

The whole thing just doesn’t give me a sense of her reacting to unfair, unjust, emotionally damaging treatment. Maybe such treatment existed in the past, before the Light Spinner episode, but it’s certainly not shown to us in any way. It’s not even alluded to, and so I’m left with just what I canonically see, which is that SW is angry that her terrible idea is rejected, does the dumb thing anyway, kills some people, and then flounces off to get addicted to Black Garnet huffing. 

I dunno; maybe I’m missing something? I’m certainly open to people showing me whatever sympathy-inducing story I might be overlooking, but as it stands? I feel like I’m not really supposed to feel sad for Shadow Weaver. If I am, then I’m afraid the writers made a pretty heavy misstep in how they’ve portrayed her.

#shadow weaver #she ra #light spinner

[lvbcrne]

@foreverfallen || <3’d for a starter.

Her heart beats rampantly within her chest, fear coursing throughout her entire body. Flames ignite, burning around her. The smell of smoke lingers in the air. The world was falling apart around them all, the entire human race, but a majority were completely oblivious - aside from the outright, zealous believers in the end of days dogma. Hunters abound, trying to do what they could to control the damage.

All the while, the Jacksonville Lab Escapee was making quite a spectacle of herself. In her time away from the lab, she had come to discover that her power only increased as time went on, and no matter how valiantly she tried to contain it, suppress it, it would find itself exploding from her in times of emotional turmoil.

Boot clad feet carry her running from the burning building as hunters and their soon to be corpses began to melt from their bones. This was getting serious, perhaps too serious for her to handle? A brief thought of returning to the lab crossed her mind, but immediately was halted. No. She could not go back there. She could never go back. And so, she ran, would continue to run, until she could not possibly take another step.

Panting heavily, her hands found themselves placed strategically on her knees. She grasps them with a vehement vigor that she could not describe in a manner to try and keep her from falling over. Audible breaths fill the otherwise silent space of the clearing. And then, she suddenly feels as though she is no longer alone. The presence near was incredible, the energy emanating from it powerful. So powerful in fact, that she was almost terrified. Terrified enough to run.

But something stills her, despite the unnerving urge to flee, to get away just as fast as she could. Slowly, she allows her trembling hands to push her up from her position. As she stands up straight, she gazes upon Lucifer --- jaw hanging open as she sees him. While she had seen too much to not believe in the supernatural, had done too much herself, this took things to a whole other level. Sure, she was not certain of what exactly he was, or who he was, but she had never been around such a powerful essence before. Slowly, she steps back from him.

Another step is taken, And another, And another,

But she does not leave. No matter how much her fear tells her to.

“Who are you?” The question comes in a awestruck voice.

#foreverfallen #· 「 filed under: verse 」┈ 001 // alt. ( spn ). #·「 filed under: general 」┈ ic. #·「 filed under: general 」┈ thread. #// eep i'm excited for this !!!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey Steph, I saw you said you had a Doctor John part 4 ready to copy and paste? I have an insatiable hunger for angst like that and so far in quarantine I’ve gone through the other 3 parts 😂 I need more

Hi Nonny!!!

I DOOOOO!!!! And LOL I’m HONOURED that you read every fic on my other lists, hahahah!! Here you go, enjoy!!

DOCTOR / CARETAKER JOHN Pt 4

See also:

Doctor / Caretaker John

Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 2

Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 3

Sherlock is Sick/Hurt (Sherlock Whump)

Sherlock Whump Pt. 2

Insomnia by TheSingingGirl (K+, 2,635 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Bed Sharing, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sleep is merely the next frontier in what has become the battle to keep Sherlock alive. It’s because of this that John ends up in bed with a sociopath.

Museums and Laboratories by RhododendronPonticum (T, 3,004 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, Obsessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety/Panic Attack, Separation Anxiety, Doctor John, Co-Dependent Sherlock) – If Sherlock’s kitchen was his laboratory, then his bedroom was his museum.

Sleepless nights by El loopy (T, 5,467 w., 3 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares/Insomnia, Panic Attack, Worried Sherlock) – Sherlock has a nightmare and John wants to know what it was about. Set during season 1. Three-shot.

Stranded by BeautifulFiction (T, 5,798 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Communication / Relationship Discussion, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, BAMF John, Doctor John, Case Fic, Drinking, Huddling For Warmth, Friends to More) –  When stranded on a derelict barge at high tide, John and Sherlock reconsider their friendship.

Sherlock’s Sleeping Habits by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 11,424 w., 16 Ch. || Friendship, Sleepy Sherlock, One Shot Collection, Fluff, Domestics) – In which John learns about Sherlock’s sleeping habits. Series of unrelated oneshots featuring the one and only ADORABLE Sleepy!Lock! Fluff abounds.

The Hand You’re Dealt by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 12,092 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Light Violence, BAMF John, Doctor John, Injury, Friendship) – Sherlock, John and several others are trapped in a building when an explosion disrupts the crime scene they are working.

Kintsugi by distantstarlight (E, 14,772 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Regret / Remorse, Loneliness, Separation, Drug Use, Healing, Protective John, Sad Sherlock, Dev. Rel., Complicated Relationships, Love, Angst With Happy Ending, Sherlock is Called Freak, John’s Penance, Voyeurism, Doctor/Caretaker John, Guilty John, Detox, Fingering, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Slight Non-Con Turns Enthusiastic Consent, Virgin Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes becomes estranged from the man he had once considered his best friend after John lets him down horribly in public. It seems that the world’s only consulting detective will be on his own once again…or will he?

The shape of the world around us by Salambo06 (E, 15,058 w., 5 Ch. || Lumberjack John / Botanist Sherlock, Different First Meeting, John Has a Beard, Light Case Fic, Flirting, First Kiss / Time, Masturbation, Love at First Sight, Horny Sherlock, John’s Bum, Bottomlock, Tenderness, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Shy Sherlock, Sexual Fantasies) – Looking through the bush, Sherlock felt his heartbeat quicken as a man passed in front of him. Sherlock frowned, trying to get a closer look despite the bush. The man was wearing a red plaid shirt rolled up to his elbows, and Sherlock couldn’t take his eyes off the man’s arms. Muscular, slightly tanned with golden hairs along his forearms. For some unknown reason, Sherlock found himself imagining them around his waist, holding him tightly. Closing his eyes for the briefest second, Sherlock shook his head. Opening his eyes and looking back to where the man stood only a moment prior, he found himself alone. Great, now his only chance to find his way back to town was gone. “Why are you wearing a suit?”

The Burning of the Leaves by blueink3 (M, 15,915 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Angst, Reichenbach, Parentlock, Past Jolto, Idiot John, Sherlock’s a Mess, Puppies, Fluff, Possessive / Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Matchmaker Sholto, Melancholic Feelings, Emotional Sherlock, Domesticity, Love Confessions in the Rain, Kissing in the Rain, Pet Names, Panic Attack) – After the events of series 4, Major Sholto invites John and Sherlock to lunch one day. It nearly proves to be too much for their tenuous relationship as the past haunts the present, putting the future that Sherlock so desperately wants at risk.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary’s wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn’t exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues – just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater /  Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John “Five Oceans” Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it’s a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

Free Falling by twistedthicket1 (M, 203,574 w., 38 Ch. || Guardian Angels AU || Guardian Angel John, Fluff and Angst, Humour, Kidlock / Teenlock, Light Mystrade, Passage of Time, Possessive John, Drug Use / Overdose, Victor Trevor, Graphic Bullying, Big Brother Mycroft, Hard Drug Use, Depression, Possessive Sherlock, Possessive John, Panic Attacks, Nightmares/PTSD, Pining, Healing Abilities, Kidnapping, Violence, Torture, Blow Jobs, Virgin John, Emotional Development / Attachment, Mortality, Happy Ending) – All Guardian angels are born with a Chosen human. When this child is born, the angel comes into being to protect and care for them during their life on Earth. For John Watson, all he cares about in the world revolves around his Chosen, Sherlock Holmes. Watching him grow up though, the angel soon learns that God must have had a sense of humour the day he decided to make Sherlock, as trouble seems to follow him like a magnet wherever he goes. John can't decide what's worse, the idea of losing his Chosen one, or the fact that he may be breaking the most taboo law of heaven as he disguises himself as a human to better protect and befriend the beloved detective he's always watched from afar. He was meant to care for him. But what happens when caring evolves into something more? What happens when an emotion an angel is supposed to be incapable of possessing comes to life suddenly and viciously inside John's chest?

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #doctor john #sherlock whump #my fic recs #Anonymous

[lunelantern]

~Sasusaku analysis ~

                                             ~Sasusaku analysis ~                                ~~ Sasuke and Sakura - - pair analysis ~~                                            ~THE BRIDGE SCENE~                            (Team 7 Reunion - - after the Five Kage Summit)

                                                  ---PART 1---

Only in the name of love, would people be capable of greatest sacrifice; to  abandon ration, logic and even morals and principles to completely surrender to the blazing flame of love.

The hallucinating pain of not being able to surrender to love is similar to having one's  soul split in half. I can only depict what must have churned into Sakura's heart when she came face to face to the one she helplessly love with abandonment, with the intent to banish her feelings into silence and act upon her shinobi duty.

[How could I withstand the tempest in his smoldering eyes with the confidence of as shinobi, without him to read what's in my heart? How could I use my words as deceiving temptation when my feelings shine unbridled with love for only him? How could I level his gaze when he's seeing through my eyes like gazing into crystal waters? How could I pierce his heart with a weapon of death and destruction, when my heart wants to touch his gently with love? How could I force my lips to murmur words of deceit when they want nothing more but to touch yours with the graceful caress of a whispered spring zephyr? How could I kill you when I love you so helplessly? How could I kill the one I want to kiss with abandonment? How could I temper his hatred into love? And more importantly, how can I kill him without losing myself? ...for he always had my heart and I was always his. Now and forever we will be...]

Whether is the unprecedented conjunction between the full-fledged clashing shinobi and their rebelling romantic feelings, the implicit suppression of inmost emotions, the implacable destiny of a cruelly realistic anti-hero, the Weltschmerz of love and romance which devours and hurts before it heals and soothes, the heart-tucking incremental angst and melodrama, the tragic vista of an unrequited romantic love shattering like a broken piece of glass, the internal turmoil kindling like a nonpareil hymn of a Shakespearean tragedy, there are peculiar characteristics and symbols introduced in this heated encounter between Sasuke and Sakura that are simply monumental.

Every single panel and transition that supports the dialogue perfectly crayons the theatrical art of a tragic romance.

The cohesive construction, the smooth transitions, the constant leap between the subjective and objective levels of execution, contour a visually tragic love story with the master stroke paintbrush of a genius painter.

Sasuke and Sakura's gestures and kinesics are meaningful, illustrative and revealing for anticipating the sublime angst and pain that come as a hefty price to pay for love.

Only in the name of love, would people be capable of greatest sacrifice; to  abandon ration, logic and even morals and principles to completely surrender to the blazing flame of love.

Some of the greatest romances in classical literature often depict love as all-consuming, spirit-draining unconquerable and scorching. It's exactly the tantalizing idea of a feeling that scorches, cremates and consumes the body and mind until it burns to ashes and yet lovers keep on wanting more and more, endlessly.

Sasuke and Sakura embody the same implacable fate as the classic literature's most illustrative couples as the pioneers of angst and drama, in such an iconic manner of construction, that one cannot but feel the tempestuous flow of their feelings transcend the inanimate pages of the manga and reaching to the bottom of the audience's hearts.

The heated glances, the suppressed feelings, the pent up angst and remorse, the churning guilt coupled with the immeasurable pain of seeing your heart drifting away from your heart are iconic.

The dialogue is animated and dynamic, strong and their implied romantic affiliation is  brutally uncensored. Everything about this scene between Sasuke and Sakura draws the curtain of the stage of a perfectly theatrical love tragedy, with the pair as leading cast of unrequited love.

People are social creatures anointed with the most amazing of gifts that Heavens have imparted with us, the only holy prowess that ensures the liaison between our mortal human condition and our Creator. Metaphorically and what literary analysis depicts as sacred and profane, what elevated the spirit of a mortal sentient being from its implacable ephemeral condition is love.

We are made to seek love, to chase love, to desire to love and be corresponded.

Naturally, trying to suppress a feeling that's sine qua non to soul-completion is capable to produce a terrifying pain and it's exactly the excruciating constant attempt to suppress love and act against the very nature of things that Sasuke and Sakura experience in their fulminant clash in the bridge scene.

Let's analyze the scenery prior to get to character introspection.

Just as the setting is the lifeblood of any theatrical play, is noteworthy to highlight the importance of the backdrop as the extraneous elements of the surrounding background - - the objective level of construction - - perfectly supports the internal feelings - - the subjective level - - of the characters.

The surroundings emphasize and reflect what the characters are feeling.

Very symbolic elements presented in literatures as tools to introduce the readers in the heat of the characters emotions are also illustrated in this scene.

We have the half-destroyed bridge as the grand stage where the two actors play their theatrical love drama. In literature, the bridge symbolically represents the connecting pathway between two opposing worlds. It's a metaphor for connection, for union and conjunction; depending on what it connects, usually ascribed to a positive connotation; implicitly the bridge could mean prosperity, hope, fulfillment of a dream, relief.

Usually, the bride is overarching to a flowing water but it can also span over two ravines or crevices. In which, the pathway to connect two separated pieces of land; symbolically it marks the communion between two separates worlds that otherwise are meant to never meet, never come together.

A bridge could represent the inner conflict of a character in his decision-making inner turmoil. Someone who must decide what road to take in life, to make a life-changing decision. Naruto manga is a Bildungsroman - - a complex construction following a character's development from childhood to adulthood and is abounding with key situations that would change the dynamics and seal the destiny of a character.

When at crossroads or battling with uncertainty, characters are often presented as leaning against a bridge and looking over the underside ripple of the flowing water; a metaphor for mixed feelings, indecision, confusion, inner conflict in front of the impending flow of water - - the symbol of the merciless pass of time and nature's immortal condition in antithesis to a sentient being's perennial condition.

In mythology and folklore, what literati refer to as the "Greatest Journey", we have the crossing of a bridge as a pathway to enter the Afterlife. A bridge becomes the connecting and the final step of a soul's sojourn to the After Life - - his journey to eternity - - conjoining Life and Death.

Let's think about the other notable bridges in Naruto. The first that comes to mind - - and is intimately intertwined to the dynamics of the Sasusaku pair - - is the GREAT NARUTO BRIDGE from the Land of Waves which brought prosperity and good fortune to the enslaved insulated land.

Often, characters like Sakura, Kakashi, Naruto, Shikamaru or Sasuke have their moments of introspection on the bridges when confusion and uncertainty takes over (we have the illustrative and arguably amusing moment in Boruto Manga between Sasuke and Kakashi as Sasuke quests for advices about how to properly connect to his daughter Sarada).

The bridge represents internal turmoil as the mind and souls are torn between two conflicting choices: to take the left side or the right side? To proceed onwards to face the unknown or to take the familiar way back? To choose between A or B?

Crossing a bridge implies a level of risk as no one can certainly assert that he knows and is prepared to successfully face what unexpected occurrences might happen on the other side.

The other side of the bridge, just like in life, is sprinkled with unexpected occurrences that no one can anticipate, no matter how meticulous, cautious or prepared.

This pair specifically possesses an unparalleled zest for unbridled passion; Sasuke and Sakura are the hallmark of people who give their 120% in everything that they do, be it battle, career or romance. And that's exactly what turns their love story into an adage for scorching passion, intimacy, soul-consuming romance, enameled with tantalizingly elegant echoes of erotica.

It also sets the stage to a final battle between two opposing parties.

Sakura, the tragic heroine of this sizzling love story, foiled in the ineffable picture of a conflicted Madonna, is artfully portrayed  in all the splendor of her inner conflict, as her duty as a Leaf Shinobi clashes vigorously with her hear that only flutters for the unpredictable Uchiha.

As per Zabuza's concluding words, shinobi share the same impending inner conflict that's the ylem to immense pain and turmoil: they have to find a perfect equilibrium between the soulless mask of their shinobi role (the Yin/the spiritual/the immortal/the sacrosanct/the darkness) and their human nature (the yang/the light/the mortal condition).

And the manga suggests that the human natured emotions surmount the shinobi as feelings (love, friendship, affection, kindness, honor, companionship, amour) manage to "fill this hole".

Sasuke and Sakura's encounter is glass-transparent epitome of a Naruto Shinobi's ominous condition, because they always have to find a winning solution for this antagonist dichotomy. To choose between love and duty/ to balance between the shinobi and the lover. To rebel against their hearts or their duty.

Duty and obligations come en route with their shinobi roles in the manga; the unyielding avenger in his thirst-quenching seek for knowledge (he must unravel the very condition of the shinobi as unraveling the quintessence and the enigmas of the Universe - - in this case, unraveling the purpose of a shinobi and his existence) and the renewed genius medic and Leaf Shinobi Haruno Sakura, who, ironically and tragically enough is also the pupil of the Kage (the heiress of the current system's - - Hashirama's and Ashura's - - political ideology; which is the same ideology that Sasuke wants to surmount and "revolutionize").

The very construction of Naruto Manga  is contrived on antithesis (Yin and Yang antithesis).

And feelings are no exception.

. . . Sakura is mocking his feelings and Sasuke doesn't like to ridicule or laugh about feelings. He might consider it a trifle to the moment when he was sincere with her a candid moment between the two. She's using a past memory that he cherishes and was honest against him like she's invalidating his words. He might get confused. Was she lying then too to buy time for her friends to come? Is it a diversion tactic and she using the same scheme? She uses his words against him. She uses supposed love against him and Uchiha treasure feelings. Hatred is corollary to love and is one wrong step from love to hatred especially when it burns so strong. And so Sasuke then pays her with the same coin and retort with the same weapons. If she's clowning and ridiculing and stepping and tarnishing their moment as a mockery he's responding by suggesting that if she wants to mock him then she'll do the same. If she proffers a love that's deceiving and she's not feeling then he too can use her and ridicule her. Taking back his earnest thank you in response to acknowledging her love, he tells her that she'll be just a replacement a toll to be used and disposed of when she's getting rusty; shell be a disposable object that he'll throw away when useless to him with no remorse and emphasizes this by pointing to Karin "you'll take her place" - - meaning they you'll share her fate, I'll use you and when I don't need you anymore you'll be in her shoes as lying limpid alone and basking in the pungent waft of death and betrayal by my own hand. Is this what you want to be for me? Is this what your love means? Does you love mean so little to you? Sasuke doesn't accept her to mock love. That's why he becomes angry. He doesn't have any reason to get angry in a fight unless its personal feelings involved. He for angry at Danzo because he was directly involved in the murder of his family and he mentioned Itachi - - the memory of his brother is sacrosanct and a dinner like Danzo is unworthy to refer to it.

He gets offended and furious when Sakura tries to use past memories that were precious against him just like Danzo; it's a low blow from Sakura. She tries to deceive to fool him to she tries to lure and use him using a weakness just like every ordinary villain - - Obito and Orochimaru did exactly the same to lure him by their side.

His tone is very personal, is full of 1st and 2nd subject pronouns. The first part, the one that represents the real feelings the allusion to couples and lovers the first hypostasis.

Karin doesn't matter - - she represents the readers. She's speaking what's on our minds. She is a silent observer.

. . He's not the same Sasuke. He's a different person. 3 times for empathize is mentioned as the pair dynamic. Karin and Sakura might be under a false representation. They might love Sasuke for overlapping the ideal Sasuke from their past an idealized version that they worshipped and they hope to find the same Sasuke in the current Sasuke who grew up. Trying to tie dorm the bonds of a failed past. In love with must accept the person for what he became and what it was without trying to mistakenly look at him and see someone else. They fell for Sasuke the perfect: aristocratic lineage, wealth, top grades, unmatched ninja skills, caring personality. They seek for his best version and try to find their ideal man into someone who is no more that was the pure Uchiha child oblivious un corrupted and not this one who has life experience. Of course they never knew what demons and darkness lured into his mind they had the wrong impression that Sasuke is perfect and this one is closer to how he really is: passionate, uncensored and unrestrained and ready to fight anyone and sacrifice anything that might hurt the people he loves the most. This Sasuke erases the image of perfection they had about him.

Sakura wanted to join him back then too and Sasuke clears the confusion for her she didn't know that he was far from the perfect boy that her mind conjured up fantasy of a young dreamy girl. That's why she wanted to join him. And now he tells her this is me this is the one that you were willing to follow. Do you still feel the same seeing how I really am? . Sasuke-kun! Is again the sound of her voice that stops him and there are few selected people who could stop Sasuke from striking. Sakura can do this by just calling out his name. Sasuke wouldn't have stopped just because someone asks him to - - Karin asks him to stop attacking Sakura and he paid her no heed. Kakashi asks him too and he couldn't care less. When Sakura calls his name or asks him to stop... He falters. He does. He can't hide how much her voice affects him, the voice that speaks her owner's name one that's so precious to him.

For him to waver by a single call of his name, Sakura must be someone extraordinary precious to Sasuke, someone who's capable to conjure the feelings that he most tries to subdue. Love. Romantic love isn't like any other forms of love because this one evokes the most extreme of sensations and it’s an all body experience. It's the only type of bond that encompasses the senses, the mind, the heat, the soul and the body. It practically leaves one powerless, weak and helpless and no counterattack stands tall in front of it.

When love strikes, you can't but fall on your knees and surrender. And Sasuke feels exactly this. He is an Uchiha. They treasure and feel love like an out body experience. It's spiritual almost sacrosanct. Uchiha live every moment on extreme. They won't stop until the unravel the full potential of it, they live their lives at maximum. There's no status quo for Uchiha. They want to experience everything and they do it passionately.

They love with passion.

. . . We have another symbolic and powerful antithesis here. Sakura the iconic representation metaphorical of regeneration, fertility, innocence and eternal love - - the image of the flower which is symbolic for spring season - - regeneration hope rebirth - - hope and light and the tree that grown from Hashirama's cell, another illustrative symbol of rebirth regeneration hope. If Sakura is the figure of spring season then the tree is the key symbol of spring the regeneration the rebirth life exuberance. And yet... Karin is lying half death with life seeping rapidly from her body at the root of that tree. Meaning that the atmosphere between lovers is so tormented and broken and soulless and kit less and heartbreaking and hallucinating and painful that even a tree the symbol of life can't sustain life.

There is the reign of death, remorse, rancor, madness, pain, it's so en wrapping that life can't be sustained there (that tree is root less grown in stone as the bridge lies suspended ; trees have roots in the ground deep they don't hang floated in air which shows broken roots broken bonds kinless people who lost their roots). The scenery is ominous, depressing, the feeling of being hopeful, useless. Even Sakurara the embodiment of life and vitality lost her flow.

Spring... Can't melt Sasuke's icicle darkness (his pain and torment).

She can't reach to him yet, and heal and revive with "such a weak resolve" (as per her own words when she realized her mistake).

Sasuke himself tells her (he was always honest, this is one of his most memorable trait - Sasuke never lies, he's always forward and frank) that she can't be herself with the current him and points to Karin for emphasize; he tells her that he'll crush the wings of springs in its joie de vivre. He tells her that he's capable to break her so badly that he'll turn the spring - - the symbol of life force and rebirth - - into death "you'll take Karina's place - - you’ll be like her bleeding and half death /you'll die like her by my hand".

He assumes the role of the negativism /pessimist and Antinatalism a person who doesn't find the beauty in spring hope and regeneration. Someone who can't sustain life who can't give her what she wants she can't be her splendid form with him. Sasuke in his supposed craze moment of "sinking so low" still proves how much he cares for her. He tells Sakura that she can't be herself with someone like him. He can't let her be what she wants to be if she joins him. And he'll consume all her life force. A darkness so ominous and cold that's capable to absorb every wisp of light from her.

Why would she want to be with someone like him whose only surrounded by death, broken memories and darkness? "she has no reason to love me" - - why would she, the spring the vitality the exuberance the happiness the love would want to love a broken man that's full of demons and darkness?

When he says her name the following manga panel shows the immense distance between them, the antithesis the different worlds: while Sakura is in the untouched side of the bridge, everything around Sasuke falls apart - the bridge is broken crumbling under his feet, Karin is half death and bleeding at his feet, the tree is unable to sustain life everything around Sasuke is death and hollowness.

The shock it produces when she realizes that the Sasuke she fantasies about doesn't exist and the imagery of his Part 1 perfection is nothing but an illusion. "he's like a different person. Is this really Sasuke?" just like Karin, Sakura is also shocked to discover that the boy she fell in love with when she was 13 is a far cry from the man that she has in front of her eyes. She's so shocked that she already finds her resolve and her underlying plan crumble. For a shinobi, this moment of internal introspection and shock led to her downfall. You can't face a class shinobi with such a weak heart and a conflicted mind; she lost any chance to win against him from this very moment.

From her everything is just purely feelings and confusion doing the talking. The drama unfolds from here - - Sakura the shinobi lost with this panel.

Sasuke is always terse and brusque and forward. He doesn't censor e himself, he doesn't beat around the bush, he doesn't try to delicately introduce a topic by ramble uselessly, no. He cuts directly to the point in his peculiar manner. And the usage of 1st subject pronouns and his tone is absolutely intimate and very personal when he asks her: "what do you want with me?" this particular line is almost bittersweet hilarious and very ironic given the contest because it's exactly how a lover would ask.

The way Sasuke and Sakura talk, the dialogue and the interactions are very personal and intimate. The tone, the glances, the kinesics, the dynamic of the dialogue, the flow of conversation, the syntax of the phrases and the usage of 1 and 2nd subject pronouns are illustrative for two people who have something going on between them.

"Who is she?" is what Karin, the voice of the reader in this scene, asks rhetorically and we want to know as well. Who's this woman who stands before Sasuke? A shinobi or a woman in love?

Karin and implicitly the authors answer comes right after. "she must love him too." Karin who is a sensor natured type of shinobi the one who depicts the most intimate wavers in chakra and emotions emphasizes that she's Sakura the lover.

"Sasuke-kun, I'll follow you, I'll leave Konoha!" she doesn't cry anymore, her eyes aren't limpid like buffeted emerald diamonds shining in the moonlight with honest and love, no. This time her tone isn't affectionate or desperate or unhinged with sincerity, her voice isn't broken and melodious like a sad violin string lilting it's last farewell, her stance isn't supplicating, her hands aren't crossed upon her heart as she cried her most intimate feelings in his face - the crossed hands are religiously symbolic for a sacrosanct or holy. No, this time her tone is hoarse, almost like she is commanding someone or bossing someone around, rough, confident, almost reproachful and her emerald eyes are hard and seemingly emotionless. That's where Sasuke starts to lose it. She mentions their memorable past encounter which is iconic, sacrosanct and innocent and sincere, with unpardonably brazen confidence while using that image of her part self (implying that Sasuke's thank you words and that memory is a WEAKNESS for him Achilles heel) to try and DECEIVE him or lure him into a trap.

Of course he'd take it as a grave insult that can't go unpunished.

She takes a giant leap to each to him as the bridge between them is symbolically broken; there's no liaison to them except for feelings. The physical distance is hyperbolic. They are so far apart that she has to take a giant leap to reach to him in vain, because that leap and the hollow that stretches steeply under her feet represents all the unsolved problems between them - the demons, the broken bonds, words they should have not told, pain and negative emotions - and so the leap she takes to reach him now proves to be TOO much for her bucket to carry. This leap is her downfall because no relationship can survive on shaky grounds and unsolved problems.

#Sasusaku analysis #Sasusaku #Sasusaku romance #Sasusaku pair #Sasusaku explained #Sasuke and Sakura love #Sasusaku couple #sasusaku symbolism

[eviestrol]

Synastry Ship - jaenipark

Hello i really like my last synastry ship so i want to request one again with Sunwoo The Boyz 😆😆 Thank youuu 💞💞💞

@jaenipark Thanks for requesting!!

Pros

Trine Sun - Mars: Great aspect for romantic relationships. You will miss much of the fuss that other couples have about one wanting to do something and the other not feeling like it. You are very familiar energetically. Neither of you feels blocked or drained by the other. You can turn to each other to pull yourselves out of ruts.

Trine Sun - Saturn: He is very dedicated and feels responsibility for you. He is willing to make sacrifices for you and the relationship. And you bring a sense of security to him. If you marry, you are very loyal and are able to efficiently handle any conflicts that arise.

Conjunction Moon - Mars: Strong attraction, both physical and emotional. Lots of touchiness from both parties. However, this also brings turmoil into the relationship. You may find that he comes on a bit too aggressive or strong when times call for more sensitivity. He may feel that you are too overreactive and sensitive. There may be frequent conflicts, but a lot of joyfulness when you two come back together again after an argument.

Conjunction Moon - Jupiter: You evoke joy, hope, goodwill, and a sense of adventure in each other. So much so that you could also be easily induced to overdo and overextend yourselves in various ways. You are likely to stimulate a wealth of feelings in each other and a generally open-minded attitude. You probably want the good life and all that it implies for you. As a team, you can be a beacon of encouragement, hope, and positive influence wherever you go. Your most important lesson is balance and wise choices that not only enhance joy but also maintain a level of stability. The natural positive energy between you can provide endless resources and options when times get tough. 

Sextile Venus - Neptune: Highly romantic and dreamy relationship. You constantly catch yourselves daydreaming of each other. You are enchanted by your relationship and each other. You have a very deep bond and there are a lot of romantic moments. Candlelight, moonlit escapades, and fairytale-like conditions abound!

Sextile Mars - Lunar node: Indicator that your relationship will endure. Your relationship is very active and you motivate each other through healthy competitions. He helps you channel your energy and become more empowered.

Sextile Jupiter - Lunar node: You help him understand his destiny. You may open him up to a new religion and philosophical world view.

Sextile Saturn - Lunar node: You help each other achieve your ambitions.

Cons

Square Sun - Mercury: The two of you do not always see eye-to-eye on issues, and it can be very easy for him to become critical of your plans or course of action. This means that there can be many misunderstandings but more so hurt feelings. The way you communicate with each other can be aggressive. There can be criticism, dispute, and generally squaring off in communication. Pride could be hurt by sharp words, and it can sometimes be difficult to find that natural flow of communication. Both of you have strong opinions that differ from each other’s perspective. However, with this placement you can both learn so much from each other, so rather than forcing your opinions on each other, learn what you can from each other.

Square Mars - Neptune: It is very easy for this relationship to become manipulative. He will be fascinated by your leadership and power but may become overwhelmed by it over time. Mars has the tendency to take control over the relationship and Sunwoo might start resenting this fact. Unless you are able to find a way to have equal control and respect this will be a very rough aspect.

Square Saturn - Uranus: With this aspect, Saturn is more conservative and Uranus has more radical or liberal views. You will need to learn to relax a bit and he will need to not be so quick-tempered and nervous when things don’t move as fast as he wants.

Overall: Very romantic relationship and you generate a lot of joy in each other. He may come on too strong at times and may seem overly harsh when he should be supportive. He may turn to manipulation to feel in control. Your biggest problems are finding a way to have a equal relationship. 

I hope you like it! Feel free to request again at any time~

#kpop ships #jaenipark #synastry ships #the boyz ships #submission

[theredwingbriar]

Would you do a love reading for me? I'm single but feeling kinda hopeless

Spades abound, unfortunately. But there is hope. At this point in time, you’re stuck and facing a brick wall. This obstacle isn’t the result or the outcome of self betterment. This is being stuck in emotional turmoil of the most acute kind. It’s the result of outside stresses, typically a harsh falling out. Your goal now isn’t to become a better person or a better partner. It is to exist in the world without falling to pieces or losing yourself. This isn’t just one fight, or more specifically, it’s a collective emotional fallout from a series of large separations. That you have removed yourself from connection. You fear gossip, and it seems you should, because there are people talking about this. You yourself keep talking about moving forward and moving past it, but it’s just that; it’s just talk. You keep your idea of what, or who, a perfect lover would be, but you refuse to reach it in fear that they will not actually have your best interest in mind. 

There is someone who harbors feelings that you are yet unaware of. A young man, dark of hair, with whom you share an emotional bond already. Likely an old friend. And if this doesn’t immediately bring someone to mind, be prepared. He is coming and you’ll remember him. 

#these cards feel pretty good #keep sending questions and we'll keep putting them to the test

[roxsannel]

Dark Moon Secrets (The Witch Moon Series Book 1) by Lilliana Rose.

Tanjie is a young woman with everything she wants, good friends, an apartment and a job she enjoys, but one day her intuition tells her that something is wrong with one of her neighbours and when she goes to investigate, the worst has happened, and she is embroiled in grief all over again. When she finds out that she was included in her neighbours will, she is shocked, especially when she finds out that she now owns a bookshop, but there are conditions attached to the windfall, this throws Tanjie's plans in the air, but she feels like she doesn't have a choice, especially when her intuition is screaming at her to follow the instructions left to her.

Alaric is the son of the alpha is the Dark Moon Pack, but he doesn't agree on the pack's stance towards the witches who they live side by side with and this causes his rebellious nature to go into overdrive, but he still wants to be either the beta or the alpha and so he tries his best to hold his tongue. This changes when he discovers a scent in the air of something new and it draws him into a small local shop where he comes face to face with a young woman who says she is the new boss and it takes everything in him not to drown in her presence, even though he knows it is completely against the rules.

As soon as Tanjie goes to the bookshop, she is thrown back into a world that she was determined to avoid and forget, a world of witches and magic, but she realises that she knows even less than she thought and the more she finds out, the more she is determined to unveil everything, however, when Alaric walks into her shop, the attraction is immediate and strong, but it is against the other witches rules. As Tanjie learns how to be a witch and Alaric tries to maintain his position in the pack, they are undeniably drawn to each other, but will this be their downfall, or will they be able to flout the rules and be together against the rules of their worlds? In this paranormal romance, there are secrets, deceit and danger everywhere, as well as emotional turmoil as revelations abound in this tale which keeps you enthralled throughout.

#journey of a lifetime #chronic illness #invisible illness #cvid #common variable immunodeficiency #zebra #zebra strong #fibromyalgia #spoonie #spoonie life #spoonie reads

[mediaeval-muse]

Book Review

The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. New York: Picador USA, 1997.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: historical fiction

Part of a Series? No.

Summary: Her name is Dinah. In the Bible, her life is only hinted at in a brief and violent detour within the more familiar chapters of the Book of Genesis that are about her father, Jacob, and his dozen sons. Told in Dinah's voice, this novel reveals the traditions and turmoils of ancient womanhood--the world of the red tent. It begins with the story of her mothers--Leah, Rachel, Zilpah, and Bilhah--the four wives of Jacob. They love Dinah and give her gifts that sustain her through a hard-working youth, a calling to midwifery, and a new home in a foreign land.

***Full review under the cut.***

Trigger Warnings: domestic violence, childbirth, miscarriage, abortion, references to bestiality, mild sexual content, rape

Overview: I remember this book making a big splash when it came out. At the time, I wasn’t allowed to read it, so it kind of slipped my mind until this year, when I bought a copy while I was used book shopping. I’m quite a sucker for women’s history and retellings of historical stories from women’s point of view, so I was excited to read this. While I can’t speak to the historical accuracy or Judaism of this book, I think I can speak to the craft of the novel. This book is important in the same way that Mists of Avalon is important - it makes room for women’s voices and stories, de-centering the male perspective on monumental narratives. However, I don’t think Diamant did enough to make Dinah’s story a true story of sisterhood, and the novel as a whole left me wanting more.

Writing: Diamant’s prose is pretty easy to read. There are some nice metaphors here and there, and vivid imagery, but overall, it’s not extremely lyrical or dense. As a result, the book is a little bit more accessible to readers who are either unfamiliar with the Biblical story or don’t know much about ancient history. I do think, however, that Diamant writes in a way that keeps Dinah at a distance from what’s happening to her. The novel is in first person, but I still ended up feeling like I was reading Dinah’s relation of events after the fact, when she had some distance on things. As a result, I didn’t quite feel any emotional suspense.

Plot: The Red Tent for the most part retells the story of Isaac’s son, Jacob, from the Bible, beginning with his arrival in Heran and betrothal to Laban’s daughters. The last third breaks from Biblical events and follows Dinah after the death of her first husband and she tries to rebuild her life in Egypt. For a good portion of the book (maybe 1/3-1/2), Dinah is either absent or merely relating events as a bystander; I didn’t get the sense that the story was her own until much later in the novel. Though Dinah tells readers in the prologue that part of her purpose is to relate her mothers’ stories and pass down information about the women in her family, I do wish more was done to center Dinah’s voice and experiences. Since family is so central to the book, this could have been achieved through more meaningful interactions between Dinah and her mothers. Dinah’s voice does come through during the events of her “rape” and subsequent life in Egypt. These parts of the book, for me, were a little more engaging, as they retold a story which originally is centered on male violence. I will say, though, that I think Dinah fell in love with her husbands too quickly. She seems to be in love with them after meeting them only once or twice, so the air of “insta-love” abounded. But overall, I thought that the pacing of the book was a little uneven. There are large stretches of time where it seems like we are just being walked through daily life of Jacob and his family, or through Dinah’s loneliness in Egypt, and while these moments are valuable for getting a sense of what life was like in the ancient world, I think these descriptions could have been combined with more character work - have some interactions, for example, between Dinah and the people around her that generate stronger emotional attachments. There are some small interactions scattered throughout the book, but I didn’t quite feel they were given the weight they needed.

Characters: Dinah, our POV character, admittedly doesn’t seem to have much personality; even though the book is told in first person, Dinah seems to just be relating events. I didn’t get much of a sense of her as a person, even when she started talking about her own life. I mostly got the sense that she was a bystander until her first husband was killed, and then, she was mostly unhappy. Even when she found happiness in her second husband, she seemed to be anxious a lot. I found myself wishing that Dinah could have a little more joy in her life. The women were distinct in ways I found compelling. Leah was hard-working and skilled at a lot of things, and was in charge of running everything in the domestic sphere; Rachel devoted herself to midwifery when she realized she was infertile, which made her more mature in an interesting way; Bilhah had a way of seeing things that made her connect with people emotionally; and Zilpah was only interested in her deities and refused to bear children after her first time, which honestly was great. I also really liked Meryt, Dinah’s fellow midwife in Egypt, since she refused to let Dinah disappear in her depression. The male characters overall felt underdeveloped, which honestly would have been fine if they hadn’t been constantly interrupting the women’s stories so much. Since women are often underdeveloped in stories about men, flipping the script would have been great, but Jacob is pretty central to the plot, as are a few of Dinah’s brothers and her grandfather. Speaking of whom, Laban was awful. He had no redeeming qualities, which made him feel less like a character and more like a villainous archetype.

Other Feminism: While I don’t think this book explicitly claims to be a feminist retelling of a Biblical story, there is something inherently feminist about centering women’s stories and voices. That aspect of the book was valuable, though I do wish more was done to enhance the sense that this was a story about women who are marginalized in the original text, and I wish that more was done to strengthen the bonds between women rather than drive them apart. For example, Leah and Rachel are in conflict a lot over Jacob, which got kind of annoying. I understand that patriarchy structured a lot of ancient life, but so much of the story was about the women’s feelings for Jacob and bearing sons and making him happy, rather than taking refuge in each other. There was some, but I wanted more. There was also conflict between Dinah and Re-nefer over “custody” of Dinah’s son, and Re-nefer essentially takes over as mother just because she can. I wish the two had bonded more, rather than have their relationship look more like a master and servant. However, I did like that this book wasn’t afraid to talk about things like menstruation, childbirth, miscarriage, and infertility. When this novel first came out in the 90s, I think a lot of those things generated some controversy. They’re still controversial, to an extent, so I liked that they were discussed so openly. However, despite all that, I didn’t get the sense that there was much of a strong bond between Dinah and the women she helped deliver. They largely go unnamed or are small stories to fill space. I wanted a lot more emotional connection to Dinah’s work as a midwife. I also really didn’t like how the story treated Ruti, Laban’s concubine. Laban abuses her physically, emotionally, and sexually, while her children mistreat her and the other women keep their distance. There were moments when the other women were kind to her, but overall, I wish more was done to show how women could be supports to one another when a husband treated them badly. Religion: Despite this book being a retelling of an Old Testament story, the “God of Abraham and Isaac” is not the only god in the story. The wives worship various other gods, which to some may feel like a haphazard insertion of “mother goddess” paganism, but to me, it felt like an acknowledgement of the religious plurality of the time. I recently learned of the many different competing religions of the ancient world, and how Yahweh and El were perceived as different entities for a time. It seems refreshing, then, that this book do something by way of showing how religion wasn’t centralized or unified across populations.

Recommendations: I would recommend this novel if you’re interested in the Old Testament, the story of Jacob, women’s history, retellings of patriarchal stories, and midwifery.

#book reviews

[christinesficrecs]

So, I was scrolling through your amazing tumblr and I saw the questions about one particularly Stiles!Mermaid and then POP I really need to read some Mermaid/Sirens Derek or Stiles pleaseee. I need U ♡♥

Haha! You’re the best. ❤️ I was all set to post and then thought oh wait. Selkie!Stiles!!!!!!! You’re gonna love them too! I promise. 

Wolf of the Waters | 12.3K

An AU in which Derek flees to his family's vacation home on the coast in an attempt to leave behind Beacon Hills and all its ghosts. Stiles is a bold young merman who likes to feel the sun on his scales and isn't about to give up his favorite place to sun bathe just because a brooding werewolf has moved into the long abandoned beach house. Mythical creatures abound and romance is in abundance.

Mermaider by nothing_left_sacred | 15.5K

“So what you’re saying is; you’re a mermaid princess.” Erica concluded.

“Yes, clearly. That is what I am saying. Thank you for putting it so concisely.” Stiles sassed, frowning at her. He wasn’t fucking Ariel; this was so far from being a Disney movie it wasn't even funny.

Where Angels Dance by xxxillusionxxx | 18.5K

The little mermaid AU that nobody asked for

No Oceans Left by zoemathemata | 14.2K

Stiles has always been a merman. He just never knew how to tell anyone. He hasn’t shifted since his mom died.

Carry My Body Safe to Shore by derekstilinski | 19.7K

There's something in the water... Or is it someone?

Sea Foam and Sunshine by Jenetica | 19.8K

Derek's job at as a lifeguard is dull, sometimes, but he saves lives, and after everything that happened with Kate, that's all he needs. So when he sees a swimmer out after closing hours, too far into the deeps to be safe, he plunges into the water without thought.

He didn't know at the time that maybe, just maybe, this time it was his own life that he was saving.

Louder than Words by Dexterous_Sinistrous | 13.9K

“You’re awake,” Stiles stated as he looked down at Derek, his head moving to block the sun from Derek’s eyes. The tips of his fins barely touched the water now.

“You’re real,” Derek uttered in fascination, his voice hoarse and weakened from the night’s events.

Stiles brightly smiled at Derek.

Not Quite A Siren, But Something Like That by lapsus_calami | 2.8K

There's a sea creature stealing all of Derek's stuff. For some reason he finds that more endearing than annoying.

Mångata by artemis69 | 7.4K

The Sterek mermen speed dating AU where Stiles is unlucky in love (until he isn't).

Fantasy Realism by LadyDrace | 4.3K

Stiles is a mermaid, Derek is a werewolf, and they've been best friends for years. Stiles is in love with Lydia, and Derek... accepts it, and shoves his own affection for Stiles down deep. Until one day when Stiles makes a surprising announcement, and leaves Derek to deal with a lot of emotional turmoil.

A Story of A Selkie & An Unintentional Proposal by ajeepandleather | 4.8K

For the prompt of Person A accidentally proposing to Person B (who is a selkie) by returning their pelt

The Weathered Shell by trilliath | 14.3K

The young man is standing with an arm casually thrown up to lean against the door frame, displaying his bare torso to advantage, his powerful swimmer's shoulders and lean body pale with moonlight. His cocky grin, however, is fading quickly into a look of shock and confusion. Other than a pelt shaped into a sloppy kilt, his legs are bare too, despite the chill winds coming in off the ocean.

"You're not a girl," he says in a gently lilting accent that's like an odd blend of all the coastal voices Derek's ever heard, squinting at Derek like his eyes might somehow be deceiving him.

Unlikely, given his dark beard and broad, well-muscled shoulders, let alone what he's got under his kilt.

The Waterline Divides Us by thedaughterofkings | 18.9K

An arranged marriage to Lady Jennifer Blake hadn't seemed like a bad idea at first. But lately Derek hasn't been so sure about it anymore. It might have something to do with one of her household - Stiles Stilinski, with golden eyes and a scent of salt and sea that Derek just cannot forget. He's a mystery Derek is dying to solve.

#asks #sterek #ficrecs #merman!stiles #mermaid!stiles #selkie!stiles #salemwitchboy

[segadoraa]

Blinded Chapter 3: Safety Measure

https://archiveofourown.org/users/segadora/pseuds/segadoraSide note: This chapter and a lot of the emotion behind the story I’ve written is completely inspired by buttsonthebeach! I’d absolutely recommend their Hamilton x Dragon Age series (even if you aren’t familiar with Hamilton). They have such a talent for capturing the personas of each character and delivering a plot that is engaging, heart-wrenching, and deeply satisfying. I’ve posted links for their works and tumblr below, please check them out!

https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttsonthebeach/pseuds/buttsonthebeach

https://buttsonthebeach.tumblr.com/

Solas paced through his room impatiently, hands clasped behind his back. The image of Ellana’s unconscious body as a few of his agents brought her in—at his request—flashed through his mind and he gritted his teeth. He’d made sure she would be comfortable enough, providing sustenance and a healing potion to ensure her recovery, but the flash of magic he felt when his ward was triggered made his heart flutter in panic.

What would he say? After the day’s battle, he’d acquired the remaining power he needed to tear down the Veil. He overturned a small stone bearing a rune in the palm of his hand. Abelas had stumbled across the magic while searching for an artifact and had presented his finding to Solas. He had stared at Solas meaningfully as the weight of the discovery came crashing down upon him. The rune would act as a barrier against the Veil, guarding its carrier against the raw magic that would be exposed when the Veil was torn and, conveniently, protecting its carrier against its effects. Of course, there was still the concern of the demons that would come rushing through…

“But an accomplished warrior might yet survive,” Abelas had said, his expression unreadable. “Particularly if they were protected by a powerful mage.”

For the first time in over two years, Solas had felt the flutter of hope in his chest. He could never abandon his mission to tear down the Veil and restore the Elvhen, but perhaps he could also save Ellana. The thought was almost too good to be true. In the days after Abelas’s discovery, Solas had found himself imagining Ellana in Elvhenan. He wondered what form her magic would take at first, and how she would thrive with the fade restored. He imagined training her to control her magic and showing her the full benefits of the Fade…

Of course, that was assuming she would still accept him after he tore down the Veil. The spark of hope was all but extinguished as he recalled the look in her eyes as he had finally revealed his plans as Fen’Harel. As he had removed the Anchor—her arm with it—and left her. She had begged him to reconsider and even offered to assist him, but he knew she would not accept the end of her world without a fight. And, truly, he did not want her to follow him down this path. She was too gentle, too caring, too bright. He could not allow her to forgive him for what he had done, what he would do, even if she offered it readily. He did not deserve her compassion or her forgiveness.

Even so, he would do what he could to ensure her survival. He could hardly bear seeing her unconscious and weakened after the battle she had endured. How could he live with himself knowing he had effectively killed her? Abelas’s discovery had given him hope and set his mind more firmly on his path. He would tear down the Veil and Ellana would survive. He could move forward now; all that was standing in his way was convincing her to trust him one last time.

His hands shook as he brought the rune to his lips. Closing his eyes, he whispered into it. Please. Let her comply. Let her live. He pulled the rune away and returned it to the small pouch he had been carrying it in, then rolled his shoulders. He had already kept her waiting far too long. He knew her resentment at being prisoner would only grow with each passing moment. He sucked in a breath and made his way to the rotunda where she was held.

Deactivating the wards and stepping through the door, his heart caught once again at the sight of her. She looked a mess. Stepping into the room, he regarded her. A slight frown crossed his face as he realized she still wore her bloodied armor. She had not accepted the fresh linens he had provided. She had not even eaten all of the food—it looked as if some of it had been smashed against the door—but, thankfully, she had ingested the healing potion. She was at the center of the room, kneeling, her hands covered in blood and dirt. She had a gash that was still healing on her left cheek and she winced as she slowly stood at his entrance. Bruises marred her brown skin and, despite the close shave of her dark hair, matted clumps of her curls formed where it grew longer at the top of her head. His heart wrenched at her haggard appearance; he wished he could have offered her more, but she was still as beautiful and graceful as the day he had met her.

Attempting to pull himself together, he straightened his shoulders and strode into the room. She was standing now and regarding him with a casual, but quizzical look.

“Fen’Harel.”

It was meant as a greeting, but he staggered slightly at the title. It was the first time they met since that day in the Elven Ruins when he had finally revealed who he had been, who he still was. Yet, the formality stung. She had only ever called him Solas, or vhenan… he willed those thoughts away. Surely this was how she must have felt when she entered the rotunda after he removed her vallaslin and he had greeted her again as “Inquisitor.” She had abruptly stopped mid-pace at his greeting, almost tripping herself in the process, then promptly strode out of the room. How he longed to do the same, now that the tables were turned.

“Inquisitor,” he finally managed, his mask in place. “I apologize for your entrapment and the state of your holdings. If we had more to give, we would offer it, but it seems you and the Inquisition have been successful in cutting off our supplies. I assure you, I mean no further harm and, should you wish it, you may leave after our discussion.”

He tried to hide his grimace at his last statement. How he wished, he prayed now that she would stay. A mingled look of mistrust and surprise passed briefly across her face before it became blank once more. The impassive face of the Game, he thought, remembering how Josephine had trained her. Though the formality between them was necessary, he hated that it had come to this. He fought the urge to rush to her, to embrace her, to feel the soft curve of her lips and her hands along his back.

“You seek to bring me reassurance and comfort,” she replied, not meeting his eye. A strange smile crossed her face. “I don’t suppose you’ve finally seen reason and had a change of heart?”

He lowered his gaze, clasping his hands behind his back. His heart plummeted. Before he could stop himself, a whisper escaped his lips.

“Ir abelas, ma vhenan. I—”

“Stop.”

He looked up at her. She met his gaze now and her dark eyes pierced him. He wondered, not for the first time, if she could read his thoughts as the fierceness of her gaze seemed to bore into his very soul.

“Stop saying you’re sorry as if you mean it. If you were truly sorry, you would change your path. What you’re feeling is guilt, and no half-hearted apologies will assuage that.” Her focus did not waver and he staggered slightly at her words. He remembered how he was drawn in by those eyes. He had thought them brown, at first, but when she had pursued him in Haven, asking for his knowledge of the Fade, he had realized they were green. She had appeared to him all sharp edges, darkness, and shadows, but he had grown to recognize the subtle colors—the red tint of her hair, the green tinge of her eyes, the dark freckles upon her cheeks. He shook his head slightly to clear his mind. Despite his wishes, they played the Game now, and she had become an adept player.

She was right, of course. He had no intention of altering his path, how could he? Still, he wavered. He craved the thoughtfulness and understanding she had once regarded him with, though he knew he did not deserve it. He had cruelly taken full advantage of her naivety and abounding compassion. She had seen him as just a man and her indominable focus had all but undone him. Yet, with the overwhelming guilt of thousands of souls bearing down upon him, what choice did he have? Their lives had not been his to give. He could not falter now. He had a duty to the People, to himself, to Mythal…

“You are right,” he conceded softly after a moment. “I have no intention of changing course. However, with the events of our recent confrontation and my final duty to the People quickly approaching, I had hoped to meet with you.” His tone and expression were impassive. Despite the turmoil inside him, the Game was almost second nature to him now. She said nothing but continued to bore into him with her piercing eyes, awaiting a further explanation.

“There is a way,” he began pacing anxiously, “that once the Veil is torn, you would be protected. I could guarantee your survival and my forces could guard you against the onslaught of demons and raiders that would inevitably follow.”

He paused.

“You would live and you would be safe here.”

He stopped himself from adding “with me.” He turned and gazed at her, although meeting her stare was like staring into the sun. He held his breath, praying she would acquiesce. She studied him for a moment, then shifted her gaze back to the floor where she had been sitting.

“Would you expand your protection to the Inquisition?” she asked quietly. “The people of Thedas? There are many who would benefit from your protection, if our world is to burn.” She peered back at him carefully and again felt as if she knew everything he knew, everything he would say. That’s impossible, he told himself, clenching his jaw and willing himself to maintain his composure. He should have anticipated her fierce protectiveness over her friends, her people.

“Such protection is hard to come by, and I’m unsure of whether or not I would be able to expand its reach. I can only offer it to you, and you alone. Still, I have seen what you’re capable of, Inquisitor, and your reach knows no limits. With your survival, you could no doubt ensure the survival of many others. Thus, my offering. What do you say?” He kept his tone light enough, but his heart seemed to want to break out of his chest as it rose up into his throat. He kept his hands clasped behind his back to hide how badly he was shaking, how much he wanted her to consent, how much he needed her, even now.

Her face darkened and his heart sank.

“I’m not sure which is worse,” she spat, strolling away from him to walk along the wall, trailing the fingers of her right hand along the stones, “that you offer protection only to myself in an act of selfish heroism, or that you still view me as a mere tool to act in your stead and ease the way of your dreadful plan.” She scowled and turned back towards him. “Either way, I have no wish to continue to be at your mercy. Release me.” She clasped her hands behind her back in a mockery of Solas’s pose and looked at him with a haughty expression. Panic flooded into him and he felt himself striding toward her. He grasped her shoulders tightly.

“Please, vhenan.” He didn’t dare meet her eye and could not keep the emotion and the sob rising in his throat out of his voice. “I cannot bear losing you,” he begged. “You will be free. Ar lasa mala revas. You could lead the survivors into the new world…”

He trailed off as he felt the anger surging in her. She recoiled from his touch, taking a few steps back.

“How can I be free from Fen’Harel? Through everything you’ve done, everything you’ve lied about, I am still bound to you.” The mask was gone and her face twisted with pain.

“Ar lath ma, Solas,” she whispered, “but today, I wish I didn’t.”

Her words were a slap, and he could not keep the hurt from shocking across his face. There was a brief moment where she wavered slightly on her feet. Recovering, he reached out to steady her, but she brushed him off.

“You told me what we had was real, yet you refuse to acknowledge the actuality of my world, of my people. You tell me of your sorrow…” She trailed off, bending to her right and withdrawing a small dagger from her boot. He was not surprised that she had somehow managed to hide the dagger, but he shifted back. She regarded the dagger causally as she continued.

“I wonder, will you feel this sorrow as you destroy my world? Will you feel the cost, as I have, every moment since you’ve revealed yourself?” She thumbed the dagger’s blade and pressed until a drop of blood beaded her thumb.

Without warning, she straightened and flung the dagger toward him. Gasping, he lifted a barrier around himself instinctually, but the blade met its home in the stone between his feet, vibrating slightly.

Ellana, his vhenan, slumped to her knees before him and tears streamed down her face.

“Kill me,” she breathed, her voice barely a whisper as her gaze settled upon the dagger in the stone. “I will never acquiesce to your resolve to burn the world. If you mean to kill them, you kill me as well. You once said you would not have me see what you would become. You were right. If you have any mercy, do it now before I have to see the cost. Please…”

He stared at her in horror, unwittingly stumbling back a few steps.

“You cannot mean… I could never…” he reeled. “How could you ask…” He stopped himself. War raged within him. He could not harm her, but he knew he would have to if she would not let him protect her from himself. He was undone, broken as he crumbled in front of her. She was real. Her world and her people were real. He knew he would bear the weight of every soul he destroyed when he pulled down the Veil. But losing her…

“Vhenan,” he whispered desperately, his voice breaking, “I could not harm you if I tried, and I won’t. The thought is abhorrent. It need not be this way. Stay with me, let me save you. Please.” He begged her, choking back a sob.

He couldn’t bear it. Not this. He had spent every spare moment he had searching for another way, a way to save her. Faces of all the ones he had doomed, both from her world and his own, swam before his eyes. Drawing a shaking hand across his face in an attempt to compose himself, he pulled the dagger from the stone and tossed it away from her. He knelt next to her and pulled her into his arms. He was trembling terribly but he held her tight. For a moment, she was still in his arms and he rested his cheek against her head. She grasped his arms around her and he felt her take a deep breath against his chest. He took in her familiar scent of wildflowers and clove.

Slowly, she began untangling herself from him. She pulled away and rose to her feet, taking a part of him with her. He ached at her absence. He felt hollow, empty.

“You must have considered my death when you weighed the cost of tearing the Veil,” she said, softer now. “You knew the odds already and you judged the price as acceptable. Why not quicken your results? What is my life against those you would bring back into the world?”

“What is your life? You are everything, vhenan. Ar lath ma.” He paused. “It’s true, I had considered… but I searched for another way, I hoped… I found a way to protect you.” His voice shook and a tear spilled from his clenched eyes. He brushed it away with the back of his hand.

“If that were true, you would listen to me and consider my perspective. You call this love… you are single-minded. You deceived me at every turn and pushed me away when you knew I would not agree. This is not love, it is control. If you loved me you would not destroy the lives of everyone I know, everyone I care for.” He could not control the tears now streaking down his cheeks.

“Please vhe—”

“Do not call me vhenan,” she spat, jumping suddenly around him. She retrieved the dagger from where he had cast it aside, quick as lightning. Solas whipped around, slightly disoriented as he staggered to his feet. He was always taken aback at how quickly she could move, darting silently and deadly through her enemies. She stilled, across the room now, and his eyes found her again. She had a furious expression on her face and sparks seemed to emanate from her. She raised the blade above her head, pointed it toward her heart and squeezed her eyes shut.

“NO!” he screamed, his magic surging in a blast that sent her toppling to the ground, although the dagger remained in her grasp. Glaring, she recovered and flung the dagger powerfully toward him once more, this time aimed at his heart. He hurriedly cast a barrier around himself and watched as she bolted to the unlocked door and escaped his view.

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#dragon age inquisition #dragon age inquisition fanfic #dai fanfic #post-trespasser fanfic #solavellan oc #solavellan hell #solavellan fanfic #dai #oc #fanfic #writing #angst

[ofregiums]

whispers abound in california these days, of a certain CELESTE VAN LEUVEN-DARCY. the twenty-five year old from england is a barista, and rather good at it, or so i’ve heard, considering she’s called the halcyon. she can be nurturing and wholesome, but she’s also melodramatic and gossipy. — played by carlson young. 

— THE BASICS

full name: celeste arabella van leuven-darcy date of birth: september 24th age: twenty-five star sign: libra profession: princess of spain and belgium ( canon ), barista, aspiring writer ( modern ) alignment: chaotic good mbti: esfj spoken languages: english ( first ), dutch ( intermediate ), spanish ( intermediate ) mother’s name: charlotte van leuven-darcy father’s name: adolfo delgado ( biological, deceased in canon verse ), eli darcy ( stepfather / adoptive father ) siblings, if any: georgina van leuven-darcy ( younger half-sister ), rory van leuven-darcy ( younger half-brother ), anais van leuven-darcy ( younger half-sister ), lucas van leuven ( practically ) height: 5′2″ hair colour: blonde eye colour: blue

— BACKSTORY

celeste came into this world in the midst of conflicting emotions. as over the moon her family was at her arrival, it was tainted by the concrete realization that her mother would have to do this on her own due to the abandonment of her biological father.

but of course, she had the presence of her uncles and their families. truly, that made the world of difference. celeste never knew neglect or anything difficult when it came to her childhood. her family had more than enough money and time to ensure she was the happiest baby alive.

she doesn’t quite remember when her dad ( her real dad ) came into her life. she was too young to recall the very moment. but for as long as she could remember, eli was there. of course, she adored her mother but she absolutely worshipped the guy that came into her life and filled in all the gaping holes.

until this day, she remains blissfully unaware of eli’s suicide attempt. to be honest, if celeste knew, it would have absolutely wrecked her. she only vaguely remembers a weird period in the house where things weren’t as they normally were, but she chalked that up to her being young.

when she was four years old, her little sister georgina came into the world and celeste learned for the first time what love at first sight meant. during her mom’s pregnancy, she’d been wary about the idea of being replaced but as soon as she set eyes on her baby sister, she was obsessed with everything about her. she swore to her parents that she’d be the best big sister ever and she stands by that until this day.

about a year later, eli asked celeste if it was okay if he adopted her and her response was a resounding yes. he was already her father in every sense of the world ; this was merely just on paper.

growing up, celeste held an incredibly romanticized version of the world. her unbreakable optimism was both a gift and a curse in disguise. not particularly a fan of the cold, harsh realities around her, she turned to writing as a tool to escape into worlds unlike her own. she was good at it too, constantly getting top marks in her english classes at school and winning contests here and there.

act now, ask questions later -- celeste grew up with an unapologetically lion-hearted spirit. she wasn’t a troublemaker, per say. but she definitely made incredibly impulsive decisions based off of her emotions and not her thought process.

as she grew into her pre-teen and teen years, their loving family expanded even more with the arrivals of her brother rory and sister anaïs. now the oldest of four, celeste takes her role as big sister very seriously and always makes herself open to have her siblings reach out to her. she was never the GET OUT OF MY ROOM type of older sister.

she only met her father once when she was fourteen. he attempted to weasel his way back into her life, despite her mother’s best efforts to shield her from it all. after much pleading to her parents, they reluctantly left the door open for celeste to attempt to foster a relationship with adolfo. it crashed and burned as quickly as it came when he was a no-show at celeste’s secondary school “graduation”. she called him three times afterwards and he never picked up. she cried to her parents for a straight hour at her graduation party.

thankfully do to her family’s wealthy upbringing, celeste never had to work really hard in any other avenue other than her passions. it is perhaps her greatest flaw -- not having to rely on working hard to get all that she wanted. she means well but her carelessness can definitely strike a nerve in some people. 

her carelessness extends to herself and her own well-being. celeste often times finds herself surrounded by things and people that are bad for -- shitty boyfriends, lack of a balanced diet, her guilty pleasure for cigarettes. as put together she seems on the outside, there’s definitely an emotional turmoil on the inside that needs to be fixed. and she finds herself leeching onto anyone who shows her a shrivel of attention to do just that -- fix her.

in terms of her sexuality, she always considered herself straight and has only dated men. however, recently, she’s noticed that a certain crush on one of her childhood friends may not be as fleeting as she originally thought.

she moved to the states when she came of age with her cousin / best friend lucas. california, to be exact. while lucas discovered the desire for higher learning, celeste chose not to attend university and instead start her dream to write. she is currently (still) working on her first novel and supplements her financial needs in the meantime with money from her parents, occasional publications, and her job as a barista at the local popular coffee shop.

recently, celeste adopted a golden retriever puppy named duke who she loves more than life itself.

#is this ?? garbage ??? #( * introductions. ) #( * her pretty killed me like a song you couldn't believe someone imagined | celeste van leuven. )