#evil clown contest

[jokersexymancompetition]

Evil Clown Contest Finals

Remember, the contests I run are double elimination. You have to lose twice to be out of the running. That's why Jevil is going against Cicero a second time.

#ecc finals #ecc #evil clowns #evil clown #tumblr poll tournament #tumblr polls #poll tournament #clown #mime #jester #evil clown poll #evil clown contest #jevil deltarune #deltarune #cicero skyrim #cicero #skyrim #jevil #jevil the jester

[angelx1992]

#pork #pig #florida #awards #trumpturds #evil gop #tampa #west palm beach #gainesville #meme #swine #contest #maga morons #ocala #orlando #clown car republicans #tallahassee #jacksonville #cousins #memes #qanon morons #pensacola #losers

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Shadows Entwined: Part 2

BatmanVsTmnt!Leonardo x sidekick!reader

Part 1 / Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Bonus (18+)

In which both Leo and reader get grilled by their families, because of the "pretty eyes".

Warnings: Spelling, loong.

The reader and the turtles are 19.

—--------------------------------------

“They call him… The Batman”, Donnie said, reading from his computer screen, causing Leo to break from his starting contest with the wall. He didn’t even remember how he got to staring at the wall. He remembers returning to the abandoned cafe with his brothers, after their meeting with this, Batman and… her. She had said his eyes were pretty. No way she actually meant it. Not with eyes like hers. They were… Leo did not know how to describe them… deep? Colorful? Lively? Filled with emotion-, oh this is how he ended up zoning out in the first place.

Leo was once again pulled out of his thoughts, as Raph started yelling about how stupid it was to use half an hour to google something he could have guessed in seconds.

“I’ve read rumors about a supernatural bat creature in Gotham, but I assumed that he was an urban legend, or that he was a mutant like us”, Donnie said deeply fascinated.

“That guy was definitely human”, Leo finally spoke. “And I think his super natural powers are just his gadgets. Anything about the girl?” Leo could see Raph facepalm out of the corner of his eye.

“Nothing”, Donnie said. “Only stuff about this Batman, or whatever he is”. Why did that pull down on Leo’s mood? No information about her at all?

“We already know what he is!” Mikey was practically dancing at the whiteboard. “He’s awesome!... Unless he’s a bad guy… That would make him… 40% less awesome”. Leo could already tell by the look on Raph’s face that he wanted to punch their little brother all the way back to New York.

“No one knows his motives, but it does appear that he only attacks criminals”, Donnie continued. “Especially this clown guy”.

“So he wears a Dracula costume and punches clowns. Who cares?!”, yelled Raph. “The dirtbag stole my sai!”

“Dracula costume? What kind of Dracula movies have you been watching?”, Donnie muttered.

“Is that why that girl hang around him?!”, Mikey yelled from his whiteboard, jumping with the same enthusiasm he had shown ever since they arrived in Gotham. “He has bitten her and now she is under his control? This city just gets better and better!”

“I don’t think so Mikey. She did say Leo had pretty eyes”, Donnie said. “Hypothetically, I don’t think a human under vampire control would say that. I actually don’t even think vampires in fiction can control people like that…”

Leo already hated this conversation.

“Look all I’m saying is Shredder stole the ooz from TCRI and came to Gotham, we know he’s been working with a new partner, right? It’s gotta be this bat creep and that Leo loving sidekick he has around”, Raph said, exasperated.

Leo remained unmoving with his arms crossed, but the mentioning of the girl made something move in his stomach.

“I’m not so sure”, Leo said. “The way they fought, avoiding lethal blows. They wanted to figure us out. Like a detective".

“She wanted to figure you out”, Raph mumbled, just loud enough for Leo to hear it. Leo would have spoken up, and Mikey not done it first.

“Okay bros. I broke it down”, he said, pointing to his drawings on the whiteboard. “Awesome: Little bat throwing things, cool car, sweet hat, Leo’s first girlfriend. Not awesome: Kicked our butts, may be evil, mean voice, Leo’s first heartbreak”.

“Either way”, Leo broke in, before giving his brothers any chance to add on to Mikey’s whiteboard Batman and sidekick breakdown. “After Wayne Enterprises, we have no idea where the Foot will be next. The Batman is our only lead”.

Donnie nodded. “Whether friend or foe, he and his sidekick was at the scene of the crime. And if you give me a minute, I think I’ve gotten an idea”.

---

“I was right outside!” you yelled like a spoiled child, waving your arms in the air, while Batman carefully looked at the magnifying glass in front of him, a sample he had taken from the sai laying in the little glass tray. “I did nothing but watch those metahumans kick Penguin’s butt! I could have helped you!”

“I did not need help”, Batman said, stoic as he always was when wearing that mask. “I had it under control”.

“That blood in your mouth said otherwise”, you sighed leaning against the deck next to you. This man was stubborn and you knew it. It was no use fighting him on his opinions, as it would be a losing battle for anyone except him.

You heard the familiar sound of a grappling against metal, and saw as Batgirl made her way out of the air vent.

“Heard on the scanner that the police took in some of Penguin’s men. Said they were jumped by four crazy frogs. I assume those were my lizard guys”, she said.

“Your lizard guys are strange”, you told Batgirl.

“They are turtles”, Batman said, pressing keys on the computer keyboard. “And the DNA on this weapon suggests they were mutated by an outside agent”.

“Mutant ninja turtles”. You raised a brow. “And me who thought Gotham couldn’t get any stranger”.

“The technology the ninjas have already stolen could be used to refine a mutagen like that”, Batgirl noted. “But why?”

“The cloud-seeder is the last piece of the puzzle. Which is why I had to move it to a secure location outside of Gotham”.

“I really wished you guys brought me in on this!”, Batgirl said. “I mean I saw the monsters first. It’s my case”.

“And pass up the opportunity to watch them swordfight Penguin later in the future? No way! I had front seat tickets!”

“There were too many unknowns. You could have gotten hurt. Both of you”. Batman turned his attention towards you. “You have to be more careful, (Y/N)”.

“What do you mean? I was beating that blue one pretty good”.

“Yet you didn’t notice the red one almost tapped you from the back”.

You felt a movement in your stomach and cold run down your back, yet your face started to feel hot. You did not notice at all. When would that have happened?... How long did you look into those blue eyes? Did the red one see an opening, only for Batman to save you, while you were being engulfed in a mutant turtle’s eyes, not noticing the world around you?

“N- no, I didn’t”.

“No, and you’ll have to work on that before I start calling you for backup”. Feedback from Batman always sounded harsh. And it did make you feel self conscious. But when it came to fighting alongside Batman, it was a matter of life and death. “In the meantime”, Batman continued, before you could dig too deep into your own feelings. “I’ll need to start working on a way to counteract the mutagen”. Batman stood for a moment. “And for that I could use both of your help”.

You could feel a big smile form on your face as Batgirl thanked the man you saw as your father figure. It wasn’t often that he actually asked for your help, or any help at all, making this a rare occasion, forever saved in your memory.

“All though”, Batgirl said as Batman looked closer at the sai he had gotten from the red turtle. “If those creatures left the Penguin's men tied up for the police, maybe I was wrong about them”.

“Maybe”, was all Batman had to say about that.

The drive back to the Batcave from Wayne Enterprise was silent. With you and Batgirl squished together in one seat, while Batman was driving the Batmobile. The silence that was so common when it came to Batman. It was a far cry from the Bruce Wayne that had taken you in as his own daughter. I was as if the moment he took the mask on, he became a different person. Not less loving than the Bruce Wayne you had given the title father, but less expressive and harder to read.

“Pretty eyes?”, Batman said, finally breaking the silence. Batgirl looked at you in confusion.

“It caught him off guard didn’t it? I’ll say it worked”, you said, playing with a smile on your lips. The bat stayed silent. You knew that silence. It was not an approving silence. You tried playing it off, talking about something else. “Did you notice how easily excited the orange one got? And how mad that red one was? They kind of remind me of Robin-”.

“Your brother is not comparable to a bunch of ninja turtles”.

“Well you might think that”, you mumbled, thinking of your pestilence of an adopted brother, that often caused chaos in your daily life, by sneaking around Wayne Manor. “He does look a little like them”.

Batgirl turned to Batman. “Care to explain?”

Batman sighed. “(H/N) and the blue mutant had a moment where she told him he had pretty eyes”.

“A moment?”, Batgirl asked, slightly shocked.

“A stare down”, you said, feeling your cheeks getting hot.

“A moment”, Batman corrected. “Even his attacks became softer after she told him”.

“No they didn’t!”

“They did. And so did yours”.

With your cheeks on fire, you crossed your arms and leaned back into the seat you shared with Batgirl. The amused smile she was trying to hide, made you wish the Batmobile would swallow you on the spot.

Why did that damn turtle have to have such pretty eyes?

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #batman vs tmnt leonardo #batman vs teenage mutant ninja turtles #batman vs tmnt #batman vs tmnt michelangelo #batman vs tmnt donatello #batman vs tmnt rahpael #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #leo tmnt #tmmt x reader #tmnt donatello #tmnt x y/n #bayverse donnie #tmnt leonardo x reader #bayverse leo #tmnt leo x reader #batman vs tmnt x reader #tmnt donnie #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt mikey #tmnt raph #tmnt 2019 #tmnt fanfiction #batman vs tmnt leonardo x reader

[see-arcane]

Let’s make the last round fun, guys. 

Vote for your finalist sexyman of choice. And remember that we’re (dis)respectfully (👀) objectifying 100+ year old dudes we can find on the Classics shelf in any Barnes and Noble. This is hilarious. We’ve all got clown noses in our reticules and rainbow wigs under our top hats. So let’s be silly about it. Or make sexy, sexy propaganda about it. But most of all, let’s enjoy this warped book club moment together. And be chill, because it’s what our sexymen would want.*

*NOTE: Griffin has informed me that chillness should only extend to the sexyman contest. Once it’s over, he insists you all resume your worship and terror before the might of his genius and the Reign of Terror from the Great Unseen.**

**And to also leave some tissues and NyQuil out on your porches, please.

Last-last thing: @gothlit-sexyman-contest thank you for putting this whole bracket together. Even with the gnarly dramatic bits, it’s been fun to see all the gothic lit lovers coming out of the woodwork to champion their respective sexily tormented favorites >:}

Transcript for Cecil Palmer’s melodic cursive text below to save you some eyestrain.👁 

“To be a sexyman is to be loved in every way. This is not hyperbole.”

“One can be loved for beauty. For ugliness.

For your good, for your evil.

For complexity and laughability.

For your kill count or how likely you are to be found malnourished and weeping inside a rain-soaked cardboard box.”

“A sexyman is a favorite among favorites. A sexyman is a joke. A sexyman is a matter of life and death. A sexyman should not be cause for pandemonium, but that hardly stops them. Or anyone else.”

“We are all sexymen here. Sexy, sexy chaos has arisen in our wake. Along with less sexy, more venomous chaos. Such is the curse of sexymanhood. Yet this too will pass, Mr. Harker. And your own sexyman (gender neutral) will still be waiting to welcome you home. Victorious with or without a medal.”

#I am both in silly and sincere mode here #this isn't the kind of thing that should result in soured friendships and name-calling and verbal hair-pulling #we're all sitting in the same gothic lit sandbox #so let's get back to playing #jonathan harker #mina harker #griffin #the invisible man #gothlit sexyman contest #cecil palmer #cecilsweep #welcome to night vale

[patheticmenscuffle]

Drum rolls, please...

We're happy to reveal the roster for the Pathetic Men Scuffle! Thanks again to everyone who submitted characters, and we hope everyone's looking forward to this as much as we are.

We will begin posting the polls around 10pm GMT (4pm US CST) tomorrow 3/10. Each poll will be open for one week.

With this announcement, we will now be accepting propaganda! Feel free to send some in or tag us in any posts you'd like and we'll share them on here. Propaganda posts will be tagged as #propaganda and each character will also have their own propaganda tag.

Click the Read More below to see all of the contestants and their first matchups in text form as well as where they're from!

Izzy Hands (Our Flag Means Death) vs Lord Farquaad (Shrek)

Edgar Allan Poe (Bungo Stray Dogs) vs Jack Spicer (Xiaolin Showdown)

Pastor Daniel (Scarlet Hollow) vs Ron Stampler (Dungeons and Daddies)

Earl Harlan (Welcome to Night Vale) vs General Ultimax/General Fuff (Bug Fables)

Hunter Noceda (The Owl House) vs Asgore Dreemur (Deltarune)

Saint (Rain World) vs William Afton/Purple Guy (Five Nights at Freddy's)

Vash the Stampede (Trigun) vs Zote the Mighty (Hollow Knight)

Shin Tsukimi (Your Turn to Die) vs Victor Frankenstein (Frankenstein)

Peter B. Parker (Spider-Man (Marvel Comics)) vs Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb)

Anders (Dragon Age) vs Cyrus (Pokemon)

Mikoshiba Mikoto (Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-Kun) vs Ron Delite (Ace Attorney)

Inigo (Fire Emblem) vs William Graham (Hannibal)

The Narrator (The Stanley Parable) vs King Dice (Cuphead)

Five Pebbles (Rain World) vs Satan/The Dark Prince (Madou Monogatari/Puyo Puyo Tetris)

Sebastian Debeste (Ace Attorney) vs Johann (The Adventure Zone)

Luigi (Super Mario Brothers) vs Charlie Kelly (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)

Stede Bonnet (Our Flag Means Death) vs Magolor (Kirby)

Dwight Fairfield (Dead By Daylight) vs Wes (Don't Starve) vs Linebeck (The Legend of Zelda)

Plankton (Spongebob) vs Spamton (Deltarune) vs Courage the Cowardly Dog (Courage the Cowardly Dog)

Father Paul (Midnight Mass) vs George Costanza (Seinfeld) vs Loki (Marvel Comics)

Harry du Bois (Disco Elysium) vs Darkrai (PokePark 2 (Pokemon)) vs Vlad Masters/Plasmius (Danny Phantom)

Reigen Arataka (Mob Psycho 100) vs Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III (How To Train Your Dragon)

Jon Arbuckle (Garfield) vs Wheatley (Portal 2)

Paul Matthews (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals) vs Jonah Simms (Superstore)

Buggy the Clown (One Piece) vs Abner Krill (Suicide Squad)

Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion) vs Tamaki Amajiki (My Hero Academia)

Rincewind the Wizard (Discworld) vs Rouxls Kaard (Deltarune)

Giovanni Potage (Epithet Erased) vs Clippy (Microsoft Office XP Advertisement (Microsoft))

Bruno Madrigal (Encanto) vs Kaname Date (AI: The Somnium Files)

The Devil (Cuphead) vs The Ice King (Adventure Time)

Alcryst (Fire Emblem) vs Starscream (Transformers)

Miles O'Brien (Star Trek) vs Spirit Albarn (Soul Eater)

Jonathan Harker (Dracula) vs Ethan Winters (Resident Evil)

Tsukasa Tenma (Project Sekai/Colorful Stage) vs Kendall Roy (Succession)

Mike Wheeler (Stranger Things) vs Dr. Eggman (Sonic)

Larry Needlemeyer (The Amazing World of Gumball) vs Saul Goodman (Better Call Saul)

Alador Blight (The Owl House) vs Andy Bernard (The Office (US))

Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives) vs The Cabbage Seller (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Jedidiah A. A. Martin (Camp Here and There) vs David Ward (I Am In Eskew) vs Randy V. Jade (Dial Town)

John Gaius (The Locked Tomb) vs Gilear Faeth (Fantasy High (Dimension 20)) vs Filbo Fiddlepie (Bugsnax)

Dick Gumshoe (Ace Attorney) vs Zenkichi Hasegawa (Persona 5) vs Eeyore (Winnie the Pooh)

Larry (Pokemon) vs Steven Universe (Steven Universe) vs Fujimoto (Ponyo)

#announcements #yeehaw #mod knight collected the images while mod dragon set up the layout #we wound up with a bit of an odd number of characters but we've made it work #you DEFINITELY have to open it in a new tab to see though #it's a bit late for both mods so we'll also reblog this in the morning #update: okay I (dragon) have transcribed all of them into text form in the read more #tumblr polls #polls #tumblr bracket #bracket

[adventure-showdown]

What is your favourite Doctor Who story?

ROUND 1 MASTERPOST

synopses and propaganda under the cut

Time and the Rani

Synopsis

The First Rani has returned after her last encounter with the Doctor, with yet another malicious scientific scheme.

Taking advantage of the post-regenerative trauma the recently regenerated and unstable Doctor is going through, the Rani hopes to achieve control of an approaching asteroid composed entirely of strange matter.

Can the Doctor figure out he is being used for the Rani's evil experiment, and what is behind the door the Rani won't allow the Doctor past?

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Paradise Towers

Synopsis

The Doctor and Mel decide to visit Paradise Towers, a residential complex that promises a peaceful life to its residents. However, the establishment is far from what its name suggests. A conflict persists among the Kangs, humanesque, multicolour beings who gather in opposing gangs based on which colour of the rainbow they bear. Furthermore, killer cleaning robots prowl the halls, and a secret in the complex's basement poses the greatest threat of all...

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Delta and the Bannermen

Synopsis

Boarding a Nostalgia Tours bus, the Doctor and Mel go for a holiday. They will soon learn that their fellow passenger Delta is a Chimeron Queen, fleeing from the Bannermen who wish to make her species extinct. Thus, the time travellers' trip to Shangri-La turns into a battle against genocide...

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Dragonfire

Synopsis

As trouble brews on the space trading colony of Iceworld, the Doctor and Mel encounter their sometimes-ally Sabalom Glitz - and a new friend who goes by "Ace".

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Silver Nemesis

Synopsis

The arrival of a mysterious comet heralds impending danger from enemies both old and new. As Ace helps the Doctor defend Earth, she is confronted with a dangerous question... "Doctor Who?"

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

The Greatest Show in the Galaxy

Synopsis

The Seventh Doctor and Ace head for the Psychic Circus on the planet Segonax, where they meet a disparate group of performers and visitors, including a self centred explorer named Captain Cook, his companion Mags and a biker known as Nord.

The circus itself is dominated by the sinister chief clown and his deadly troupe of robot clowns, who organise a talent contest in which all visitors take part. The audience consists of just a single strange family — mother, father and daughter — seated at the ringside. Although hindered by the treacherous Cook, the Doctor eventually discovers that the Circus hides a terrible secret: the family are in reality the Gods of Ragnarok, powerful creatures with an insatiable craving for entertainment who invariably destroy those who fail to please them.

With Ace's help, the Doctor ends the gods' influence on Segonax and returns the circus to the control of its original owners.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

#round 1

[quanblovk]

To the Mage Sisters: What are your opinions on the inhabitants of Planet Popstar? For example, The Great King of Dream Land: King Dedede

Zan Partizanne: Ah yes, the loud mouth penguin. We three are very indebted to him for freeing us of that dark past.

Flamberge: KYAHAHAHA!! That big fluffy penguin sure does eat a lot too! I'll get him in the next pie eating contest, he doesn't stand a chance!

Zan Partizanne: Berge, please stop subjecting your digestive system to such torment.

Francisca: The waddle dees that follow him are just the cutest! They oddly remind me of the jambelievers, only if they were stronger, smarter and capable of building their own civilization!

Zan Partizanne: Now who else....oh right. His knight. Heheh.

Flamberge: Dammit Zan! You're doing that creepy chuckle again! That means you're hiding something from me! Just who is Meta Knight and why do you always act so familiar around him?!

Zan Partizanne: I'll tell you when you're older.

Flamberge: JAMBLASTED- wait......WE'RE ALREADY ADULTS- WHY WOULD I NEED TO-

Zan Partizanne: Anyways, that little masked knight helped us immensely too. Though he doesn't talk a lot to me compared to the other sisters. Which is to be expected. Also, he definitely has issues. A lot of them.

Francisca: He's a very stoic knight, just straight out of a fairy tale~

Flamberge: pfft, he's alright I guess. But I much prefer his evil twin brother! He's just WAY more fun and (somehow) has less problems! seriously that guy has ISSUES.

Francisca: He smells weird though....

Flamberge: That's his signature musk. Easy to get used to! Compared to Zanny's B.O, he smells way less spicier-

Zan Partizanne: what.

Flamberge: -3- ~ 🎵

Flamberge: And we can't possibly forget the other 2!

Francisca: Yes! Same with King Dedede and Mr. Meta Knight, Kirby and Bandana Dee saved our lives too! They're both so adorable and a joy to hang out with!

Zan Partizanne: I admire the puffball's resolve, same with the pointy waddle dee. He's got moves, I admit. Hmph.

Flamberge: KYAHAHA! Zan's always like that whenever he meets another spear user. So competitive-!

Zan Partizanne: .....

Flamberge: Joke! It's a joke! Stop pointing your partisan at me....-3-

Francisca: Let's see....who else....OH RIGHT! How could I forget?!

Marx~! 💖💖💖

Francisca: HE'S JUST THE CUTEST LITTLE THING! JYAAAAAAA!!!

Flamberge: OH- OH HELL NO FRAN, YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT BEHIND THAT SMILE IS THE DEVIL! HE'S EVEN WORSE THAN OUR former DARK LORD!!!!!

Zan Partizanne: Never in my life had I encountered such a terrifying ball-balancing clown........Franny, be wary of that awful creature!

Francisca: B-but....he's BABY! Aw......So far he hasn't done anything to me yet. I often hang out with him, Magolor and Chilly!

Flamberge: Chilly? Who's that?

Francisca: The little sentient snowman! We all get along well, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about~

Flamberge: Well, if Franny says so......

Zan Partizanne: We will take your word for it. Oh, as for the other inhabitants, our opinion remains the same. Neutral. Popstar is a wonderfully friendly planet.

#WOOO I GOT A SCANNER #the first page didn't look so good thpugh #no idea why 💀 i might try to fix that #cuz kirby bandee and marx turned out perfectly #spent a LOT of time on this #so glad that i didnt botch the lineart for all the round shapes #i had to pose like SPIDERMAN to get my arm steady #kirby nintendo #my art #dark meta knight #Meta Knight #traditional drawing #King Dedede #Bandana Dee #Kirby #Mage Sisters #Flamberge #Francisca #Zan Partizanne #Marx #dmk rating game cameo #he's just taking a long time discussing who should be on what tier 👽 #ask #ask-magesisters

[robsheridan]

No film defined the late-70s “McSplatter” wave of grindhouse horror like DRIVE-THRU OF DEATH (1977). Writer/director Ron Sharleton's (Cannibal Quarterback, Garfield: First Blood, CoacHELLa) unapologetically manic debut gore-fest wrote the blueprint for the fast-food sub-genre that would be followed by many more films such as Wiener of Blood (1978), Ice Scream Truck (1978), and Sharleton’s own pizza-themed follow-up Slice of Hell (1979).

Drive-Thru of Death opens with old-fashioned circus clowns in a shadowy ritual with a cult of evil cows (the film does not explain why the cows can speak, nor are they seen again after the opening scene). The groups are angry at the giant fast food chain “McDungles” (an obvious reference to McDonald’s leading to extensive litigation) for their aggressive factory-farming and their clown-themed branding that “cheapens the sacred art of clowning.” The cow priest puts an ancient black magic curse on the blood of all cattle in the region destined for McDungles beef plants.

As the cursed beef makes its way into McDungles’ restaurants, burger patties begin coming alive as ferocious man-eating beef demons. Meanwhile, the curse has a special effect on the restaurant’s birthday clowns, who become gradually more psychotic as they mutate into grotesque homicidal monstrosities whose flesh drips like melted cheese. The clowns kill the staff and turn McDungles into madhouses of relentless zany violence. The clown working the drive-through window asks unsuspecting patrons the film’s much-quoted catchphrase, “would you like TO DIE with that??” 

The infamous third-act birthday party scene is an off-the-rails escalation of horror where the demon clowns infect children with the curse, which their turns their flesh into french fries before possessing them to become demonic murderous clown children.

Eventually, townspeople are able to kill the beef demons and the clowns by burning them alive with deep-frier grease. But the damage is done, and the McDungles chain has to shut down permanently.

The film’s final shot of a child who survived the birthday party massacre warns ominously, “the children were never the same.”

-----------

NOTE: This alternate reality horror story is part of my NightmAIres narrative art series (visit that link for a lot more). NightmAIres are windows into other worlds and alternate histories, conceived/written by me and visualized with synthography and Photoshop.

If you enjoy my work, consider supporting me on Patreon for frequent exclusive hi-res wallpaper packs, behind-the-scenes features, downloads, events, contests, and an awesome fan community. Direct fan support is what keeps me going as an independent creator, and it means the world to me.

#rob sheridan #nightmAIres #ai horror #alternate history #ai art #70s horror #ron sharleton #drive-thru of death #mcsplatter #synthography #synthography horror #horror #horror art #horror stories #writing #fake movies

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #324: Jacques de Molay

ayyyyy its time to get spooky! at long last the Halloween events have returned, and they’ve returned with three new servants! we here at Grailfinders are, of course, going in servant ID order, so first on the chopping block is the disgraced crusader Jacques de Molay! they started off as a holy knight, but ever since their fall they’ve been tainted by lies and slander, so while they start off semi-holy as a Death Cleric they fall pretty fast as a Fiend Warlock by the end of the build. basically they’re kind of a discount, evil paladin, which fits nicely!

check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

next up: I'm pretty sure I can't include a picture on the next one without getting banned.

ancestry & background

obv jacques is a human, buuuut her final form is a grey-skinned humanoid with glowy eyes and horns, so why would we miss this chance to go tiefling? specifically we’re going with the glasya tiefling variant so eventually your Legacy of Malbolge (mispronounced to your liking) will give you access to disguise self, and then you can look human that way! right now, it just gives you Minor Illusion. you also get Hellish Resistance against fire damage, as well as Darkvision to clown on those dumb “human” knights. you also get +2 Dexterity and +1 Wisdom thanks to Tasha’s trivializing ancestry differences.

you’re not a good Acolyte, but you’re definitely an acolyte, so you still get Insight and Religion proficiency all the same.

Ability Scores

we’re starting off as a cleric so your Wisdom needs to be pretty good, at least for now. after that, your Dexterity- you’re uh. you’re not partial to armor. (though I would accept an argument that your first ascension has light armor on, but that’s still mostly dexterity based.) third up is Charisma- this will be better later, but if you had high charisma before you died, you probably wouldn’t have died. your Constitution is above average since you were a knight and all, but that means your Intelligence isn’t that high. you’ve got the megane look, but we just don’t need it for the build. finally, we’re dumping Strength. you’ve got actual knights for heavy lifting now.

Class Levels

1. Cleric 1: starting off as a cleric nets you Wisdom and Charisma proficiency as well as History and Medicine, warrior monk and all that. starting off as a Death cleric specifically gives you proficiency with martial weapons, so you get your sword and shield right off the bat! you’re also a Reaper now, so you can learn an extra necromancy cantrip like Sapping Sting- it deals a little damage and knocks people over! I mean, you’re not winning any shoving contested rolls any time soon, might as well turn to magic, right?

oh right, you can also learn and prepare Spells as part and parcel of being a cleric by using your Wisdom. since you can swap spells out each day we won’t be super in-depth about which ones you learn when, but we’ll point out the cooler ones to look at each level.

first though, your regular cantrips! Guidance and Resistance are subtle, but powerful- a great excuse to not do anything yourself! also grab Sacred Flame or something to attack people while your dexterity isn’t high enough to reliably use your sword.

as for your first level spells, you get False Life and Ray of Sickness for free, but there’s plenty of other spells to look into too. Shield of Faith is a pretty good alternative for mage armor at the moment, giving you or an allied creature +2 AC for up to ten minutes, concentration pending. it’s no shroud of turin, but it’s not like you used the real thing either, right? Bane is our very first curse, reducing a group of creature’s checks for a while if they fail their saves. also, Ceremony is the closest we can come to your “turn everyone evil” technique for now, although it only reveals a creature’s original alignment, not a new one. I guess the dedication ceremony could technically count?

2. Cleric 2: second level clerics can Channel Divinity in one of two ways once per short rest- Turn Undead (boo hiss) forces wisdom saves on every undead creature in the area, making them run away for a minute, or until they take damage. good for when you have to clear a room, I guess. the death clerics have a CD with some oomph though- your Touch of Death lets you make a necrotic smite dealing up to 25 extra necrotic damage in a single hit as you level up.

3. Cleric 3: third level clerics get second level spells, but you also get a free copy of Disguise Self from your Legacy of Malbolge. once a day you can look like any humanoid you like, though physical inspection can turn up discrepancies. luckily, as long as you aren’t getting headpats regularly “you, but human” is a pretty safe option.

as for your second level spells, Blindness/Deafness is a fun curse to throw around, as is Ray of Enfeeblement, and both will always be on your spell list! the heavy hitter this level has to be Spiritual Weapon though- you can make a big floating weapon and use bonus actions to move it around and hit people- essentially, it’s your very first summonable knight. I know those knights are mostly just part of your Noble Phantasm animation, but if Stheno can get knights, so can you.

4. Cleric 4: normally we’d use your first Ability Score Improvement on raw stats to improve your offense or shore up some weakness (y’know, improving an ability score), but right now our most pressing issue is getting the War Caster feat. sure, it gives you advantage on concentration checks and makes shield of faith a much better defensive spell. sure, you can cast inflict wounds as a reaction now, but the most important part is you can cast somatic-based spells while both your hands are full with a sword and shield! most DMs probably won’t care too much, but really every part of this feat is super useful for us as an IKEA paladin.

to celebrate the occasion, you can cast Thaumaturgy now. really sets the mood for a dark mass, you know?

5. Cleric 5: fifth level clerics can Destroy Undead of CR ½ or lower when they turn them successfully, which actually makes it even worse for our purposes, since this is also the level they can cast third level spells like Animate Dead. it makes skeletons and zombies- either creating one or reasserting dominance over up to three per casting. you can command one or more of them as a bonus action each turn, but they’ll only listen to you for the first 24 hours after you cast or recast the spell on them.

you can also cast Invisibility once a day thanks to your legacy- it’s not in character but it is useful!

as for other spells to look out for, Bestow Curse does just about any negative thing you want it to- if you’re going to be evil, it will help out a lot. I’d also grab Speak with Dead so you can really connect with your undead minions, and Spirit Shroud for a creepier ambiance next time you stab someone.

6. Cleric 6: at level six you can channel divinity twice a short rest, and you have an Inescapable Destruction about you that makes your divinity impossible to resist! literally- it prevents the necrotic damage your spells and CD do from being resisted. now you can beat up aasimars with your (currently) 17 additional points of necrotic damage per attack!

7. Cleric 7: seventh level clerics get fourth level spells. your freebies are Blight which is cool, it doesn’t really specify how the target got dehydrated, and Death Ward. it’s not quite the invincibility we want for your shroud ability, but it’s less dying which is useful. I’d also grab Guardian of Faith so you can get a whole knight instead of just a sword, and Divination because you’re still god’s specialest little princess, probably.

8. Cleric 8: eighth level clerics get another ASI, and its about time we start thinking about getting evil. the Flames of Phlegethos are as hard to spell as they are useful, increasing your Charisma by one while also letting you re-roll ones on fire damage from spells. you’re not all that fire-and-brimstone, but it’s a nice touch. even better, after casting a fire spell, you can cover yourself in an evil aura for a round, causing you to glow and counterattack anyone stupid enough to hit you with a melee attack. like. she’s on fire. of course you’re going to burn your hand.

additionally, your Divine Strike adds a bit of necrotic damage to your first weapon attack you hit each turn. you’re kind of a paladin, so now you have a low-level smite, go nuts. (also destroy undead works on CR one creatures now but hush)

9. Cleric 9: ninth level clerics get fifth level spells. Cloudkill is probably the closest thing to your NP if we’re going by the animation, but it can be pretty finicky. it’s strong, but a good gust of wind will destroy it pretty fast. your other freebie is the real prize- with Antilife Shell you finally have a shroud of turin to protect your team with, at least against melee enemies. it keeps anything that isn’t undead or a construct away from you, but you also can’t move them through the barrier or it breaks as well. thankfully most of your party by weight is undead at this point, so it shouldn’t be too much of a hassle.

that being said I’d also grab Flame Strike for a more consistent NP attack and Hallow- we can’t turn people evil, but at least we can turn everything else evil!

10. Cleric 10: tenth level clerics get one more cantrip, so now you can Toll the Dead to deal some ranged damage, especially if you kick people while they’re down. I guess this is your scarf thing?

also, you can get some Divine Intervention, if Shub-Niggurath is feeling benevolent that day. as an action you try to get your god to help out, and if you roll a 10 or lower on a d100, it works. if it worked, you can use it again in a week, otherwise you just have to wait a day. dang, I wish worshipping the devil worked like that irl too.

11. Warlock 1: okay, time to break out the goats. as a Fiend warlock you have access to the Dark One’s Blessing- whenever you reduce a hostile creature to 0 HP, you get temporary HP as a little kickback for sending a soul his way.

you also get Pact Magic, which you cast using your Charisma. you get a different set of spell slots that recharge on short rests, though you can use warlock slots for cleric spells or vice versa. also, when you pick your warlock spells you’re stuck with them until you level up again, so we’ll be more hands-on this time.

grab Eldritch Blast and Mind Sliver for some casterball-ish cantrips, as well as Arms of Hadar to finally make some tentacles to slap people with, and Charm Person to get started with seduction.

12. Warlock 2: at second level warlocks get Eldritch Invocations, ways for you to customize your fall into madness and depravity. Armor of Shadows will give you mage armor whenever you want, so you can finally wear that cute backless dress you’ve been meaning to! Beguiling Influence gives you proficiency in Deception and Persuasion- I bet you thought I forgot to pick those up at the start, didn’t you?

also, you can Hex people now, mostly because we needed a warlock-based curse option for stuff later. now you can deal extra necrotic damage to creatures you attack! annoyingly, this is not affected by your cleric features!

13. Warlock 3: at level three you can summon a cute lil goat man thanks to your Pact of the Chain giving you free uses of find familiar. also you can hit people with the ol’ Crown of Madness to make them turn on everything they knew and loved before. I guess we can make people evil after all!

14. Warlock 4: at fourth level we get another ASI, so bump up that Charisma for stronger spells! now it’s time to ascend for a better weapon- with Shadow Blade your sword can be upgraded to deal psychic damage, and if you throw it you can summon it back as a bonus action! plus- since this is making a weapon, and not directly attacking someone with a spell, you can add all your fun cleric abilities too!

15. Warlock 5: fifth level warlocks get their best boon to their knight corps(e), the third level spell Summon Lesser Demons, letting you drag up to eight demons knights to the material plane to fight! they’re hostile to literally everything, so good luck controlling them though. good thing you know Hallow!

you also know a Maddening Hex now, so whenever you hex someone you can deal psychic damage to them, as well as everyone else around them, as a bonus action with no save!

16. Warlock 6: at sixth level, you have the Dark One’s Own Luck- once a short rest you can add a d10 to any check or save. things always go the villain’s way, at least until the third act. also you can cast Tongues now to understand every spoken language and be understood in turn. I know this is more of a holy sort of effect, but it’s still super useful when you’re evil.

17. Warlock 7: at level seven you get fourth level spells like Shadow of Moil to give you a more thematically appropriate evil aura. for up to a minute after casting the spell, you’re surrounded by darkness that heavily obscures you, giving you resistance to radiant damage and another kind of counterattack. the worst part about turning to evil is all the other paladins suddenly have a problem with you “living”, and “drawing breath”, and “corrupting the innocent”. such a hassle.

18. Warlock 8: one last ASI, so use it wisely. I mean, use it charismatically. it’s for Charisma. you can also cast Raulothim’s Psychic Lance now! I know yours is more of a literal lance, but it doesn’t hurt to try.

19. Warlock 9: our final spell of the build is Negative Energy Flood, taking your NP’s animation a bit too literally, but at least it’s a single target attack again. when you hit a living creature with it you’ll force a constitution save against your spell, dealing 5d12 necrotic damage on a failure, or half on a success. furthermore, a creature killed by this spell becomes an uncontrolled zombie the next turn, going after whatever is closest. if you target an undead, they’ll gain 5d12 temporary HP instead, so your generals will be more protected.

you also get one last invocation, and with Whispers of the Grave you can cast speak with dead at will to really get to know your potential recruits better.

20. Warlock 10: finally, a tenth level fiendlock has Fiendish Resilience, letting you pick a damage type each short rest to gain resistance to it, as long as its not from magical or silvered weapons. that’s why we’ve still got shadow of moil for the paladins. you also get the cantrip Chill Touch, I guess. reach out and touch somebody, with gross skeleton hands.

Pros & Cons:

Pros:

you might not have the unlimited power of a sorlock, but having warlock slots to burn on Animate Dead means you can keep a huge army in check for relatively little cost- even just one short rest a day can supply you with fourteen extra bodies to fight with!

it’s honestly super refreshing to see a spellcaster with a shield. that, plus your healing from fighting and your various ways to resist incoming damage, make you a longer-lived spellcaster than most. having an AC of 18 thanks to mage armor plus two good saves in the big three, plus up to two resistances will help you eat any stray attacks coming your way.

most stories like treating demons as major threats, locking ways to deal with them behind quests and such, so being able to draw demons out for your own benefit can be pretty dang useful in certain situations. unless your playing something like curse of strahd, calling on the forces of evil is usually out of left field enough that whatever you’re fighting won’t have many defenses against it.

Cons:

on the opposite side of that coin, most campaigns assume you’re good. I would consider myself pretty open-minded, but I would have reservations about helping someone walking around with an undead army, I’m just saying.

your undead army can also easily be blasted apart by aoe spells, like the kind your cleric half brings to the table which make up your strongest firepower for most of the build. one wrong move, and suddenly you’re starting from scratch again.

we’re using a lot of different ability scores in this build, so you’re all over the place statwise. I would’ve loved to get more swordplay in, but we had to spend points on two different spellcasting stats, leaving you without a single maxed stat, plus lower constitution than I’m entirely comfortable with a gish having. still, doing a little of everything tends to be the most useful path forward, just ask bards.

#fgo #D&D #DND5e #jacques de molay #warlock #cleric

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

YOU CAN'T FUCK ROBOMASTERS bc

1.MOSLTY THEY EVIL and the 1000% someone kills

2.They all warrior machine who don't have dirty functions

3.they not real😦‼️

most of them are actually not evil!

it's common knowledge that a lot of the robot masters are reprogrammed by Wily to do terrible things, but it's honestly staggering just how many of the RMs actually are not Wily-made or have anything to do with Wily at all. he's the exact kind of asshole to download someone's art, put his own signature on it, and reupload it as his own while reporting someone else for art theft. he even puts his own goddamn DWN number on them, as if he made them from the ground up!

when it comes to the overall roster of robot masters, his claim of ownership can go:

Megaman 1: mostly Light's 'bots. in the english translation, he worked on them with Light. outside of that, though, it's all Light, baby.

Megaman 2: his original OCs do not steal.

Megaman 3: Light and Wily working together

Megaman 4: Cossack, obv

Megaman 5: his original OCs do not steal

Megaman World V: not his. def. not his. they're from the far of future of the year 2000!

Megaman 6: people all over the world made 'em. also not his.

Megaman 7: like half and half? Junk Man, Spring Man, Slash Man, and Turbo Man is his, everything else is stolen.

Megaman 8: less than half. Frost Man is his, as is Grenade Man and Search Man. surprisingly, Clown Man is not his, despite Frost Man being built from leftover parts and that whole rigamarole about getting to see what his interior was like for the contest.

Megaman & Bass: less than half once again; only Ground Man, Burner Man, and Pirate Man. thing is, this number is actually zero if you consider the ones that King built to not be Wily's by proxy.

Megaman 9: Lightbots again.

Megaman 10: dudes from all over, stolen. none of them are Wily's design.

Megaman 11: stolen once again. none of them are Wily's design.

out of 13 fucking games, we have only about three of which wily can lay claim to as truly being his own. and i'm sure if we look at the expanded canon for all of the Robot Masters in spinoff games, we'd start seeing the number skew even further. in fact, that's something i'm probably gonna do at some point, making another datasheet like i did with the Mavericks.

#ask #bio-metal404 #inapplicable #i need to make a tag for my worldbuilding rants

[jokersexymancompetition]

Evil Clown Contest Quarterfinals

#ecc quarterfinals #evil clowns #evil clown #tumblr poll tournament #tumblr polls #poll tournament #clown #mime #jester #evil clown poll #ecc #evil clown contest #kirby #marx kirby #marx #cicero skyrim #skyrim #cicero #the elder scrolls #the elder scolls online

[angelx1992]

#arizona #dog #shows #maga morons #mesa #dogs #competitions #evil gop #losers #clown car republicans #phoenix #kari lake #contest #meme #winslow #qanon morons #prize #awards

[cryptidjeepers]

 Scooby Doo Monster Bracket 2023!

Here is the bracket! We will start with the two qualifiers today, with round one starting tomorrow! Check back on this post for round updates

Masterpost:

I won’t be updating this post because it will become a monster in itself but check my tag for the most recent polls

Round one: Complete

Round two: compete

Semifinals: Happening now! March 2

Finals: upcoming

Contestants

Cleopatra/mummies (Where’s my mummy?) vs green ghosts

Halfbeard (Bcsd) vs The Ghostly gondolier (the scooby doo show)

Loch Ness Monster vs 10 000 Volt Ghost

Maldor the malevolent (13 ghosts) vs  Dapper Jack (Shaggys Showdown)

Bigfoot ghost (new scoobydoo movies) vs  Phantom (stage fright)

Tengu (bcsd) vs  Zombie island zombies

The spooky space kook vs  Phantom virus (cyber chase)

Demon of salem (bcsd) vs  Cat people (zombie island)

The Red Ghost (Gourmet Ghost) vs lord valdroious

Count zarko (scoobydoo & scrappydoo) vs Lord infernicus (sdmi)

Skeleton men (the scooby doo show) vs  Slime mutant (sdmi)

Marcella (13 ghosts) vs  Menacing metallic clown (wnsd)

Ghost of mother (bcsd) vs  Evil scooby gang (trick or treat)

Alaskan monster (sd & sd) vs  Captain skunkbeard (scooby pirates ahoy)

Captain cutler vs  the black knight ghost

dark lilith vs  Sarah ravencroft (witches ghost)

#scooby doo #sd monster bracket

[silver-ace-of-spades]

AU where Bowser adopts Lancer and Susie.

♠️♠️♠️

Koopaling age headcanons:

Ludwig: 17

Lemmy: 15

Roy: 15

Iggy: 14

Wendy: 12

Morton: 12

Larry: 10

Bowser Jr: 8

Dark Fun Gang age headcanons:

Susie: 16

Lancer: 11

King Bowser and King Spade don't get along at all.

Bowser: You traumatized this poor child! I may be evil but even I have standards!

Spade: You have to instill fear into your kids! Why are you so soft?!

Bowser: Your ex-son overthrew you and imprisoned you! Junior helps me design evil plans! Being soft can be good!

Lancer: Yeah, ex-dad!

Susie: You're outnumbered. Give up.

Iggy and Lemmy become Lancer's BFFs.

Lancer: You're a clown, Rainbow Hair!

Lemmy: Thanks! I try to be!

Susie: Making new friends?

Lancer: Yeah! Lemmy's really funny! And Iggy's super chaotic and fun!

Iggy: Oh, Susie! Do you want to join the Clown Gang?

Susie: Hell yeah.

Wendy has a sister now.

Susie: We're the only girls here, huh?

Wendy: You get used to it. My brothers are annoying, but they're still my brothers and I love them. Boys will be boys.

Susie and Roy are best friends.

Roy: Bet you can't beat me in an arm-wrestling contest!

Susie: Bring it!

(They're pretty evenly matched in terms of strength)

Roy: I'll let you ride my motorcycle under two conditions. 1: Return it the way you got it or better. 2: Bring Lancer with you when you ride.

Susie: R-really?

Roy: Hell yeah! You said he wanted a motorcycle but was too young.

Susie: Thank you so much! I'm sure he'd be overjoyed to hear the news!

Susie and Lancer get their own Clown Cars.

Bowser: You two can open your eyes now.

(Susie and Lancer open their eyes, then gasp in awe.)

Susie: Is that my own clown car? It's so badass and spiky!

Lancer: Haha, mine's decorated with spades! You're the best dad, Bowser!

(Lancer hugs Bowser)

Bowser: Oh! Hehe, glad you like it, Lancer.

Bowser uses magic to clone himself so he can tend to all 10 of his children.

Susie: How does Bowser... Dad... manage to take care of you all?

Ludwig: Kamek helps out a lot, like using his magic to make more Dads.

Susie: Cool!

(Two Bowsers enter the room)

Susie: Holy shit, that's awesome!

King Spade doesn't stand a chance against any of the Koopa family.

Lancer: No!

(King grabs Lancer while he and Morton are playing video games)

Morton: Lancer? Lancer!

King: You're coming with me!

King: Shut up! Bowser is manipulating you!

Lancer: Morton! Help!

Morton: Give him back!

(Morton shell slams into King)

King: Why would you try to interrupt a family reunion?

(King shoots his weird mouth tentacle thing at Morton, who grabs it and uses it to make him fall. Unfortunately, Lancer gets squished)

Lancer: Oof!

Morton: Whoops. (He grabs Lancer and makes sure he's okay)

#toxic electricity #lancer fan club #deltarune au #mario au #bowser #spade king #koopalings #the misadventures of susie and lancer #susie deltarune #lancer deltarune #susie #lancer #spade yells into the void

[dazzlerazz]

Hey guys I think the evil clown contest finals are happening

#poll stuff

[smellslikebot]

hello hello long time follower first time asker. all your posts about neopets have made me curious about the site bc i have only ever really existed on the fringe of neopets and used other virtual pet sites in the 2010s (whereas neopets is more 2000s)... so questions: are you on the Actual Neopets Website or like a "rewritten" version (cause i think i heard something about those..? idk) and also what would your tips be for a Neopets Beginner? thank you sorry this question is long and sounds a bit silly. have a good day :-)

hey thanks for asking!! i've been thinking about writing up something like this for a while, but i hesitated because neopets is kind of weird to recommend to new players. i'm currently on NEOPETS.COM™ because all the neoclones i'm interested in are invite-only or aren't always accepting/processing applications... anyway here are my Tips(?) (i don't even know what to call this anymore because i got carried away writing it)

(i'll put any warnings/disclaimers at the end because i don't want to look like i'm trying to talk anyone out of checking out neopets lol. there are just some things to be aware of)

most importantly, try to have fun! =)

you can earn some neopoints by giving the games a try, or earn trophies for your profile by getting one of the high scores for the month. not all of the Flash-based games are working at the moment (they're using an emulator that doesn't have full compatibility yet), but Neopets also has a lot of browser-based game options like Sakhmet Solitaire, Dice-A-Roo, Cheat!, and NeoQuest. since those games involve reloading the page a lot, they're also a good way to trigger random events, which can yield NP, rare items, faerie quests, etc.

check out the spotlights & contests! you can earn nice prizes for some of these, like the Art Gallery and the Poetry Contest. even if you don't care to enter, I think it's interesting to browse the old entries and see what it took to win the Beauty Contest in the early 2000s.

you can read up on the lore and history of the site on Jellyneo's Book of Ages, which hosts information about the site's characters, old plots, collectible cards, and more. the Neopedia and the Gallery of Evil are also worth a look!

if you're interested in pet customization, Dress to Impress is a great resource for planning outfits and trying out wearable items you don't own yet, and I think it's pretty fun to play around with! just be sure to filter out Neocash items from your searches.

every Neopet has its own customizable webpage, so you can find all sorts of neat petpages-- guides, petpage directories, character pages, etc.

making "progress"

Jellyneo and The Daily Neopets are great resources! Jellyneo's Item Database in particular is nice for looking up approximate item prices

if you explore the site a bit, you'll find some activities and freebies you can access daily. do these dailies consistently for a decent profit and a chance of getting rare items. Jellyneo has a useful list of dailies here! Trudy's Surprise in particular will pay out increasing amounts of NP if you spin on consecutive days.

you can win 15 items a day by beating opponents in the Battledome, and even the easier opponents-- the Chia Clown and the S750 Kreludan Defender Robot-- have some decently profitable drops. start training one of your Neopets at the Swashbuckling Academy on Krawk Island using Dubloons, which you can receive from dailies or purchase via the Shop Wizard. some inexpensive beginner equipment: Scroll of Ultranova, Ridiculously Heavy Battle Hammer, Parasol of Unfortunate Demise, Downsize!, and Magical Healing Potion. oh, and don't train the Movement stat-- it's mostly useless!

browser extensions and userscripts can make the site more user-friendly/less janky! I use Ruffle to fix some of the broken Flash elements, and out of this list, I use the following Tampermonkey scripts: Search Helper, Sidebar Dailies, Grumpy/Wise King Autofill, BD Winnings Counter, Random Events Logger, and Shenkuu Lunar Temple Solver

right now, an event called the Faerie Festival is going on! every day until October 19, you can receive a free Faerie Quest, which usually only happens by chance. open a Shop Wizard tab before you receive your quest so you can easily look up the requested item. a lot of users have been receiving the sought-after Fountain Faerie Quest, which gives you access to a single free color change for one of your Neopets. you can pick almost any color, so choose wisely!

warnings/disclaimers

DON'T talk about most external websites or try to exchange contact info on Neopets or you'll get warned, even in neomails! here's a list of their approved fan sites

as a website founded by white British university students in 1999, Neopets' portrayal of other cultures has often ranged from insensitive or orientalist (several "tribal" pet wearables/a character from the Lost Desert in a stereotypical "belly dancer" outfit/the existence of a single East Asian mishmash land) to outright nasty (the "Sacrificers" plot in 2000 revolving around violent "cannibal islanders", plus a lot of issues with Mystery Island's lore/designs in general). the site also has a "no religion" rule and blocks words like "Jewish", but has a Christmas color for pets... I don't necessarily want them to remove old content entirely, but maybe some parts of the site warrant a Neopets version of that Looney Tunes disclaimer lol.

Neopets is heavy on gambling and chance, and random events (which have a chance of occurring every time you load a page) can be positive or negative. put valuable items in the Safety Deposit Box as soon as you get them, because they can be taken from your inventory via random event or unlucky wheel spin!

each individual pet has foods they will refuse to eat, books they will refuse to read, etc. Certain Neopet species may have unique "allergies" or other quirks, e.g. the Grarrl and the Skeith can eat non-food items, which can be useful for discarding junk, but can also result in accidentally feeding them valuable items... NEVER click "feed" when you're trying to use medicine/potions!!

overall, the site is kind of a mess right now! there are frequent errors and slow load times caused by increased traffic, poorly-implemented word filters that restrict words like "grape" and "cucumber," and the site currently exists in a half-converted state between the old and new layout. it's also outdated/poorly coded in a lot of aspects; pet and user names can never be changed, for example, so if you create or adopt a pet with a name deemed inappropriate, they will straight-up just delete that pet. this recently happened to someone on the subreddit who advertised the fact that they'd adopted a pet named Meowyjuana. RIP 🫡

#ask #i tried not to make this too long but it's kinda long