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chipper-smol · 4 years

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*cracks my writing knuckles bc my artistic patience isn’t enough to fill the ambiance and tone properly*

2K WORDS. JUST FOR YOU GUYS

Was their ire and spiteful nature exclusively directed at the Pale King? Some retainers of the palace would say yes. Others would object and say it extended to the Five Great Knights as well since Ogrim had yet to hold onto his charm for longer than a day and Hegemol continued to wield a pole instead of a mighty hammer.

Well if you asked the source, they would simply stare at you silently, but you might get the impression that they had strong opinions (a wild thing for a vessel to have) on a few individuals other than the King.

Which is why the Feral Vessel is currently running for their life with the Great Nailmaster Sly hot on their back.

“Give it back you impetuous brat!” Sly roars behind them as he bounces off the walls at unfathomable speeds. Ghost, now going by Feral, is only surviving thanks to their knowledge of Sly’s moves from the Godseeker’s Pantheons. Sly’s jumps are still wildly unpredictable to them, but their now longer legs help them meet the speed needed to dodge the flea’s grabs.

Why are they doing this in the first place?

Well because when a rule is made that the Feral Vessel isn’t allowed a nail in the palace, or in any location in Hollownest, the only reasonable way to follow that rule, if you are said Feral Vessel, is to obtain nails of increasing ridiculous sizes. They first took their sibling’s old nail after the Pure Vessel grew out of it, and then they continued from there. They thought of borrowing Sheo’s nail for a day, but they quickly realized after finding the three Nailmasters that they were still the three Nailstudents. They were adorable but small and didn’t have their nails.

So Sly was there and Feral had some lingering rage left over from the Pantheons and well, the decision wasn’t hard to make. Two aspids with one stone. Now they were finding out that conceptualizing that plan and executing that plan were completely different things.

How do they get him off their back!? They already tried losing him through the maze that is the White Palace but they could not build any distance between them and Sly to make the endless corners and hallways useful. They need something- anything-

A-HA! One of Hornet’s web traps! (ingenious sticky things that clung ruthlessly to the clothing of the royals that walked this palace.)

Feral musters up their soul to push themself into one last burst of speed. They dash over the top of the trap just as they hear Sly zooming right at their back. With a twist of their leg and a firm grip on the oversized nail they spin at the last moment and swat the flea with his own nail into the poorly hidden nest of sticky silk.

The indignant yell of rage made that whole marathon worth it.

Not wanting to squander their momentary freedom from Sly’s wrath, they quickly turn and hightail it out of there.

Left. Straight. Left. Right. Straight. Straight. Up. Up. Right. Left-

That should be enough, right? Feral slows down and leans against a wall to catch their breath. Great Pale Beings they have not felt that much adrenaline since the first time they danced with Grimm. They were safe, for now. Feral straightens up, adjusts the greatnail onto their back and looks around.

...

They glance back from where they came.

Where... is this? They know the palace like the back of their hand, even without the buzzsaws. This corridor isn’t familiar. There is only one open doorway with a shining pale light gently leaking into the tiled hallway. Curious yet cautious they approach. They had a sharp greatnail after all.

They step into the light and freeze as they see the towering form of the Queen leaning like a drifting tree over a lush bush. Her back was turned to them, maybe they could-

“Vessel,” her voice, even though a whisper is loud enough to seem like she’s speaking at normal volume. Feral had noticed that with all of the higher and pale beings they’ve known. They all whisper.

Still, they had conflicting feelings toward their mother that they hadn’t yet put into words. They were avoiding her. They still want to avoid her.

“Come, garden with me,” she says, not lifting her head an inch from her work. Feral itches to disobey, but the urge feels wrong. It doesn’t carry the same gleeful note that comes with directly ignoring the King’s orders. They don’t have a solid reason to dislike their mother and it doesn’t feel right to force one either.

It’s not often they feel hesitant, but the Queen has a fae-like air about her. She could hide cruel remarks in what seem to be compliments. They had seen her pick apart arguments to the letter until her opponent had nothing else to say. She wields her words like she would a nail, and a battlefield of diction is an area Feral is massively lacking in. Hopefully she doesn’t want much. Hopefully she wants them to retrieve some confusing herb or something.

Carefully, they enter the room— a green house— and slowly make their way over to the White Lady’s side. They peer over at what she’s tending to. It looks like a bundle of dozens of little blue buds. Her hands glow underneath and the flowers respond by drifting up gradually and opening their delicate petals.

Feral watches quietly.

“They are not what they make themself appear to be,” she says after a long pause. Feral tenses. She reaches to her side where a basket of tools hangs from a kingsmould that Feral didn’t realize was there and picks up a humorously small pair of scissors compared to her massive hands. She carefully begins to snip the bases of those small flowers, collecting them in one hand as they fall, “My senses may be fading as things do with time, but I am not yet so blind to see that they know things that they should not.”

Feral never tried to hide their emotions and personality when they emerged from the Abyss, but they found themself smothering their nervousness before it could leak out of them.

“… they are nervous?” The Queen finally turns to look at Feral with her slightly glassy blue eyes, “I did not intend my words to be a threat, but their reaction proves my thoughts correct.”

Feral maintains as much eye contact as they can before turning their gaze to the floor. The full force of a pale being’s attention wasn’t a thing most bugs could endure. She watches them. Silent. Considering.

“It is odd. I have wanted children of my own for so long, yet what I have received from this world is curious,” she turns back to the blue flowers and snips two more into her hand, “one offspring that is meant to be empty, yet wishes to be a child, and one offspring that acts like a child, yet has experienced more than a child should have.”

Feral feels an odd twisting in their gut. They want to leave, yet they now also want to stay. The Queen is perceptive, that was never a doubt and perhaps another reason why they avoided her. The fear of being known. Yet… now they are known and it’s more of a relief than anything. They slowly look back to her as she places the scissors back in the basket.

“I have wondered why, but I cannot come to a conclusion that satisfies me,” she places three flowers in her spare hand and begins to braid the stems, adding flowers as the braids start becoming short.

“Why do they hold their branch as if it were the familiar handle of a nail? Even though they are forbidden from holding their own?” More flowers are added into the craft she is making. It’s beginning to look circular. Feral watches quietly.

“How do they know to get charms and spells on their own?” She glances over at them, but doesn’t meet their eyes. They sense her gaze on their horns. She looks back down at the flowers and makes some sort of adjustment.

"Why do they stare at things that are not there?” Feral’s throat tightens with that question- or observation?

The Queen finally finishes whatever is in her hands and takes a step over to the Feral Vessel and leans down with an alien-like grace. Feral blinks as she threads the circle of flowers over their horns to then rest right at the base of their horns. They do not know why she is doing this, but they would not dare fight it. They have no desire to.

Her hands drift down from their horns to their face to gently cup and hold. Their eyes gently flutter. The warmth from her root palms seep into their mask as if they were sitting in a hot spring. With the warmth comes a feeling of peace. Understanding. Their eyes close and before they can catch themself they lean into her touch. They miss how her eyes soften as she rubs one of her thumbs against their temple.

“I thought I had been mistaken before, but I have noticed that their pranks on my beloved Wyrm have grown half hearted,” Feral’s chest sags in a mock-sigh and, not knowing why, they nod.

“Has the novelty of his frustrated yells gone stale?” They shake their head, shoulders lightly quivering as if laughing. They crack their eyes open to catch the end of a smile from their mother.

“Why is it then? Why have they lost their fire?”

Feral stays silent as that was all they can do, but the tightening of their brow and the way they pull away from the warm comfort of their mother’s hands speaks hundreds of unspoken words. They glance at their hands, clenching and unclenching them.

When they re-awoke at the bottom of the Abyss surrounded by the thousands of masks of their dead siblings they thought they had dream nailed the black egg at the bottom of the Abyss again, though they did not know how. Soon they realized after getting to the top alongside their sibling that it was not a dream, but reality. To their delight, they could act on their spans of anger and spite they had toward the Pale King.

They thought that once they had their fun they would go and defeat the Radiance by finding the Godseeker in the trash pit. They would scale the pantheons and destroy the infection before the Pure Vessel was sentenced to waste away in the Temple of the Black Egg. It was simple so they didn’t think hard about it.

Until they realized they didn’t have the dream nail. They stressed for a bit, but then thought they could go find the seer and ask for it again! When they made their way to the Resting Grounds however, her little burrow was nowhere to be seen. They truly panicked then, scouring Hollownest for any moths they could find, but the few ones they found were not the Seer. When they held up their, admittedly, crude drawings of the dream nail they were met with confused stares.

They felt scared, frustrated, anger, desperation and then numbness.

They had been trying to run away from these thoughts, but now they were back and plainly showing on their face for the Queen to read like a tablet. There is a long silence between them before her melody-like voice whispers once more.

“Do they know how to write?” She asks.

They shake their head. No. They barely knew how to read and that was from noticing patterns in the tablets and signs they stumbled across in Hollownest. The Queen stands up and with her Feral’s eyes follow.

“I will teach you my child. Come, and perhaps while you learn you may give me your name. Feral is such a harsh word to be called by.”

Feral watches the White Lady as she walks deeper into the greenhouse. Did she just… say she was going to teach them how to write? They would never have a voice to speak on their own with, but to have the power of script in their grasp…

Excitement sparks their step as they quickly run back to her side, looking up at her with such strong wonder that she can’t believe she ever doubted her offspring weren’t hollow. The crown of flowers bounce on their head with each eager step.

“Now it will take some time for us to get the right writing utensils, but perhaps the first thing you could tell me when you can write is how you got that massive nail on your back.”

#hollowknight #hollow knight #hk #shitlordAU #feral vessel #ghost #the white lady #myart #fanart #writingwords #asks #sly #WOOOF #i am worded out #i also didn't want to draw WL over and over

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rwbyinserts · 3 years

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Hey there, I really like the quality of your posts and I hope request are open. Can't find where your rules are posted but if they are, could you do headcanons for how winter and raven would explain to their S/O about their maiden powers, and what it'd take for them to talk about it (bc we all know raven wouldn't wanna talk about it)

Absolutely! Odds are requests will remain open indefinitely unless I need to take a hiatus! Apologies about the difficulty in finding the rules, I didn’t realize I didn’t specify they were in the drop down menu! I’ll be sure to add that real quick now though. Thank you for your request and compliment! It means a lot to me! <3

Winter and Raven explaining to S/O about their maiden powers

Winter

You couldn’t blame Winter for being a bit distant after everything went down. She was never cold to you per se, but you could tell she was suffering. It was hard, seeing someone you looked up to and adored struggling, especially when before this she was such a beacon of strength and courage to you and many others. She was a natural leader, and seeing the way she seemingly fought with herself on what to do now tore at your heart.

You knew how she was. The idea of asking for help was going to be hard for her. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust you - she did, immensely. Even so, it was ingrained so deeply in her to keep moving forward no matter the cost, to not ask questions and to simply obey. Asking for help didn’t feel like an option she was allowed to have.

Now though, the leader she swore to follow was gone, along with everything she had been fighting so hard to protect. It had all crumbled around her, the hope that she was on the right path slipping through her fingers like a fine thread. The weight on her shoulders had only grown heavier and heavier, and it was becoming apparent to everyone who knew her. Especially you.

It surprised you when she asked you to visit with her, alone. It wasn’t unusual in itself - the two of you had spent time together alone before. It was unusual because you hadn’t expected her to reach out to you after all that had happened, at least not so soon. She had been so deep in her own thoughts you had considered trying to reach out yourself in an attempt to help her in whatever way you could, but she beat you to the punch.

When you sit down beside her, she scarcely looks at you. The look in her eyes isn’t one of fear, merely concern. You wonder if it was obvious how much you were worried about her, and it becomes clear when she speaks to you that it had been.

“I… Apologize. For how I’ve been lately. I’ve had a lot to think about, I’m sure you know. About everything, including us.” Those words froze you to your spot, your blood running cold. You didn’t like those words at all. Was she going to push you away for good, just like that? Should you have reached out first after all?

“Please, don’t look so afraid. We’re not… I’m not ending this. I’m giving you a choice. I need to tell you everything. I just need you to listen, please.” Her tone was softer, a hint of guilt behind it. It was then that you realized what was going to happen. Everything you had missed up until this point was about to be explained to you, and it was. She told you about the maidens, about Penny and the power that had been bestowed upon her in that fateful battle. You hadn’t been inside that abyss to see it, and so up until now she had kept you in the dark. You could tell she felt bad, and she confirmed it.

“I’m sorry for not telling you after it happened. I still hesitated today. I worry that telling you will put you in danger, but… you need to know.” If you’re female, she’d even explain how if something were to happen to her, it may very well transfer to you. Of course, you don’t like that subject, but you understand why she told you. You’d need to know. “I understand if you don’t feel you can remain with me after this. I breached your trust. Regardless of my reasoning, I understand if you’re upset with me.”

Of course, even if you were a little hurt it would only be because you couldn’t have lifted that burden from her shoulders sooner. You could see even as she had spoken to you how some of the burden had been lifted just in finally revealing the secret to you, and you wished it could have happened before all that stress and worry had built up.

You’d assure her you’re willing to work through it, and though she still has some of that worry behind her eyes, there’s also a hint of relief. You’re someone she wants to protect, no matter what. She vows, even if to herself, that she will use her new power to do so.

Raven

It becomes clear to you that something is wrong with Raven rather quickly. Ever since she returned from Haven, she seemed… off. She had already told you that Vernal had been lost, and so the logical conclusion to you was that she was mourning even if she refused to outwardly show it.

This didn’t feel like mourning though. You were one of very few people to see the faintest hint of vulnerability from her before, even if only for a moment. She had confided in you in the past, even though she always framed it as seeking a second opinion when she would ultimately do what she thought was best. You never questioned it, simply offering advice where you could and following her lead.

Now though she seemed… distressed. Whereas normally she would be a bit snippier when she failed one of her self made missions, she seemed a bit more… subdued. It wasn’t something you were used to - no one in camp was. Unlike you though, many of the others didn’t have the heart to speak up about it. Vernal would have been the only one other than you, and with her gone, it was up to you.

So you decided to take matters into your own hands one night. You stand outside her tent, making sure no one else is in sight before you murmur her name softly under your breath, hoping it’ll be just loud enough for her to hear. You’re in luck, as she soon appears at the entrance and though her gaze seemed hardened as ever, you noticed the flicker of realization in her eyes as she regarded you before she allowed you entrance.

You offer to pour her tea before you sit with her, but she puts up a dismissive hand before doing it herself for the both of you. When you sit across from each other your eyes meet, both trying to judge the other to see just who will break the silence first.

“Well? What did you need?” It’s her, unsurprisingly, ever the dominant force even when she’s off her game. It’s almost enough to make you smile despite the situation. Almost.

You ask her straight up what’s on her mind. You’ve noticed her watching you more often, subdued or not, as if she wanted to talk to you but had no clue how to approach. She seems vaguely irritated when you bring this up, but it’s too late to take it back and reword it.

“Just what are you trying to insinuate? If I wanted to talk to you, I would. I don’t need your permission.” Her tone is sharp, but it lacks the usual venom of genuine anger. You know her well enough by now to know she’s bluffing.

You change tactics though, if only to avoid making her retreat further into her shell. You tell her how much you care and that you know she can handle herself, but you want to be there for her. Though you don’t tell her this, you know there’s something important she won’t tell you. She remains quiet for a moment, her gaze concentrated as she stares into your own, almost as if she were trying to judge something. Something you could never begin to know. When she finally speaks, you have to contain your shock, keeping your gaze as even as her own.

“When Vernal died… Her powers were transferred onto me. It was… a shock. I’m still trying to decide who to trust with that information.” Her tone was even, not betraying the lie she was telling. She was convincing, she always was - and she knew you would take her words at face value. Of course, you did. You were happy she could trust you enough to be the first. Or at least you assumed you were the first. You assured her the secret was safe with you and that you would support her in any way you could, and she offered you the faintest of smiles, one strictly reserved for you.

She knew you would, just as she would keep her own secrets safe, for both of your sakes she hoped.

#rwby #rwby inserts #rwby headcanons #rwby x reader #Winter Schnee #Raven Branwen

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whentherewerebicycles · 3 years

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omg omg i am doing some fascinating reading today about the neurobiology of creativity for the playfulness project and it is ALSO helping me understand something that i have been grappling with for a while re: screentime and mindless scrolling on social media. i think a lot about that state of ‘endless scroll,’ where you are glued to your phone and can’t break away from the tumblr/twitter/instagram/facebook loop even though you know the activity you’re engaging in is making you feel increasingly unhappy and restless and dissatisfied.

the common explanation for that feeling is “oh, social media causes you to compare yourself to others, and that makes you unhappy,” but i’ve been thinking for a while that it must go beyond that, because often i’m not even engaging with content that would prompt comparison between my life and someone else’s (or engaging with ads that would make me feel dissatisfied about my body/life/job/whatever). i’ve also been thinking a lot about why it is that when i put my phone away (FAR away, like in my car or in a drawer in my closet) and read a physical book, it’s like something in my brain lights up again, and i find that suddenly my mind is spilling over with thoughts and ideas and hypotheses and plans for the future. i also feel so much happier and more buoyant in the second reading mode, in part because i experience that burst of creative thinking as intensely pleasurable and i begin to engage in a kind of future-thinking that projects me from the mundane present into an exciting, speculative future. in both situations—mindless scrolling and reading a book (or a PDF where i have all social media stuff blocked)—i’m actively reading text on a page. but the experience is so different (and the felt switch between the two states so dramatic) that i know there’s got to be something really different happening in the brain as i read.

the article i’m reading today is about the neurobiological basis of “combinatory play,” which is a form of creative, imaginative thinking that involves combining and recombining seemingly disparate ideas or schemas—in essence, engaging playfully with “what-ifs” and other kinds of speculative thinking (“could this be connected? what happens if i put this idea in conversation with that one?”). it outlines the four different stages of creativity: preparation, incubation, flash of insight (the eureka! or breakthrough moment), and then the methodical testing and validation of the eureka idea. but it focuses especially on the incubation period, which is the phase where you take a break from focused, deliberate work and instead engage in activities like daydreaming, mental wandering, doodling, meditating, sleeping and dreaming, walking, washing dishes, etc., ie activities where you disengage the conscious mind (with its desire for rational solutions and clear answers) and allow the unconscious mind to “play” with different, seemingly illogical ideas or combinations of ideas beneath the surface of conscious thought.

most interestingly: using brain-imaging technology, researchers have been able to demonstrate that in the moments before the flash of insight (the “aha!” moment), activity in your left frontal cortex slows and the visual cortex shuts down completely. according to this article, this slowing/shutdown “suggests that the brain needs to cut out external sensory input to increase connections between the conscious and unconscious mind and to let it play.” those moments directly precede the flash of insight, which occurs “with a burst in the right temporal lobe.”

HERE is why i think that fact is so interesting re: mindless social media scrolling. when i am reading a book, i have significantly more control over the amount of external stimuli entering my brain. i am reading in a linear fashion, but i am also often pausing, looking up from the page, gazing off into the distance to speculate about possible connections, asking myself questions about what i’m reading, testing the information i’m encountering against what i already know or think to be true, etc. in other words, when i am reading a book or from a printed page, my brain moves fluidly between focused attention (the “preparation” stage of creative thinking) and daydreaming or speculative reverie (the incubation stage). the page itself is static, but it’s that stable foundation that allows my mind to wander freely in and out of focused attention, as i alternate between focused reading and a more playful, imaginative, speculative mode of thinking. being able to daydream (a state in which my unconscious or semi-conscious mind weaves in and out of conscious thought) is what allows unexpected new ideas and connections to surface in my mind, and that’s what prompts that exciting rush of creative thinking and future-oriented "what-if” thinking, which in turn triggers those feelings of intense pleasure and delight that lift my mood.

you can’t daydream when reading on a screen, because there is no stable base, and no point at which the brain can momentarily taking in external stimuli can slow or stop (that slowing / shutdown in the left frontal cortext and visual cortex that necessarily precedes a burst of creative insight). on a screen, with the ability to endlessly scroll past content that is designed to hijack your attention and keep your brain continually stimulated. there’s no break in that flow of external stimuli, and no natural stopping points (like the end of a page) that would prompt your mind to rest for a moment or allow you to slip into that state of reverie. we also know that phones are SO GOOD at hacking into our brain’s attention system and trapping us in these extraordinarily addictive & self-reinforcing feedback loops, so we continually seek out more and more stimuli even as addiction makes us increasingly desensitized to the dopamine burst (and thus makes the activity itself less and less pleasurable to engage in).

finding it difficult or impossible to break out of mindless scrolling mode is not a personal failure of willpower. mindless scrolling is a behavior that social media apps are deliberately designed to elicit & repeatedly, unceasingly reinforce, which (because of our neuroplastic brains!) creates these addictive feedback loops we struggle to get out of. and, while comparative thinking might be part of why social media makes us unhappy, i think an even stronger reason might be that mindless scrolling traps us in this state of captivated attention (we can’t look away, bc the addictive loop has become too strongly reinforced) which is also simultaneously a state of continually distracted attention (it’s not sustained focus on a single idea or thread, because the endless scroll means we are continually barraged with stimuli—the emotional content of people’s opinions, ads designed to catch our eye, features of the app like alerts or notifications that continually distract us/break sustained focus, etc etc). hoo boy that is the WORST state of mind to be stuck in, and it’s the one that almost all of us operate in when we’re in that mindless scrolling phase!!!

so we are stuck in mindless scroll, but we are also continually having our equilibrium disrupted by a flow of stimuli designed to trigger strong instinctive or emotional reactions. AND THEN, on top of that, social media apps are essentially designed to eliminate the “incubation” stage—because time spent daydreaming, mental wandering, getting up to do something else, looking off into the distance to engage in imaginative speculation, etc., is time not spent engaging with the app, and therefore is “unprofitable” time that doesn’t serve the core purpose of social media: to keep us hooked on our phones, so that companies can continue harvesting our data (for profit) and/or selling us things. it’s not necessarily that companies are deliberately setting out to kill creative thinking or daydreaming or whatever (i mean... there’s an argument to be made here), but more just that incubation stage thinking isn’t profitable or productive in any way, and thus—in a culture obsessed with maximization and efficiency and productivity—is wasted time that could be harnessed for other ends.

i don’t know if this makes sense!!!! but it is helping me understand that i think my instinct is right: that the kind of reading we do on screens is not the same as the kind of reading we do on paper or just when we are working away from screens/apps/phones, and also that there is probably a neurobiological explanation for why i feel so much happier, more engaged, and able to think fluidly and creatively when i am reading away from my phone vs. when i am reading on my phone or am stuck in mindless scrolling mode.

#mw #thinkinggggg #to think further #neuroplasticity #reading in the brain #the brain #come back to this #emotional reactivity #playfulness project #listen y'all i know that everyone is on the tech in classrooms bandwagon and that if you aren't into it you are a luddite #but i am against tech in classrooms! not because tech is always antithetical to learning but #because i think classrooms could be one of the few spaces students have left where they are NOT using tech #and are able to explore/practice/engage in different kinds of thinking and problemsolving and reading #long post #play project

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lesbian-dp · 4 years

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Royally Fucked

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Words: 2,271

Warnings: Misogyny, frustration, bath sex, strap on sex... p sure that's it.

Request: Yah.

Summary: The Queen will always be your world.

A/N: Just an FYI this is obviously set in the medieval times, so the reader is pretending to be a man, bc they’re a Knight. Just wanted to let you guys know that.

18+ ONLY.

“-A woman cannot rule on her own-!”

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, near enough seeing your own brain, before you tuned out the dull drawl of the aged man.

His Royal Highness. Howard Stark. A pompous old git, who rules his kingdom with an iron fist. The man, who was currently ranting in front of each kingdom’s officials. All because, he was trying to wed his son, for his own selfish greed. And you. The Queens General and secret lover had to be there to witness it.

“I’m sorry you think that, you Highness.”

Ah! There she was.

A small smile tugged at your lips, hearing her husky voice.

Glancing out of the corner of your eyes, down to where Natalia sat regally beside where you stood.

God.

She was gorgeous.

How you ever got so lucky, is beyond you.

Her red layered dress, lined with the finest gold thread, the world had to offer, pushed her soft perky breasts up. Giving you a fantastic view of them, from where you stood above her. Your agile eyes were soon drawn to her plump, moving lips. Watching Natalia’s plump, moving lips. Watching them intently, remembering the look of them clasped around the crystal toy strapped around your hips. And the way they felt gliding across your wet core. How soft they were against your own lips. Moaning into your mouth, in a telltale way of what was about to come undone.

Spoiler alert! It was you guys!

Realising you had probably been staring at her beautiful self for minutes too long. You repositioned yourself, placing a hand upon the hilt of your sword, and staring blankly at the wall of the meeting room, in front of you. The door within your eyesight, able to see any and all newcomers, should they arrive.

“However, I would like to remind you of which of us are in their bankruptcy.”

“How dare you-?!” His face grew red with rage, light grey moustache and hair clashing, terribly, with the raspberry hue it had taken on.

“Watch your tone while you are speaking to the Queen,” you ordered.

“And I’d watch your tongue!” the King argued back.

Natalia placed her hand gently upon your leather-bound arm, just as you opened your mouth to shout a reply. Glancing down at the red-headed Queen, she shook her head, and you knew to hold your tongue.

“I’d rethink about who you appointed to be your head Knight. They’re obviously lacking in some basic training.”

“With all due respect, your Highness,” Natasha began, an entirely fake smile drawn upon her face, “My General is of the highest order. They live by the highest standards. And I respect them and their opinion. I can’t help it if you expect everyone but yourself to watch how they speak.”

“Now, General?”

You turned to face Natalia. “Yes, your Majesty?”

“Would you be so kind, as to personally escort King Howard from the castle. I think we have all heard enough for one morning.”

“It would be my pleasure.” You gave her a half bow, before moving towards the infuriated man.

***

Huffing, you slammed the door to the quarters the Queen had “gifted” you with. Reasoning that it would be better for her safety, if you were close by, in the castle. The royal quarters being only a few doors down from your own.

You kicked off your dirt-covered boots, as you threw your ornated sword across the room, and into the wall, in frustration.

“Well, that wasn’t very nice.”

The voice to your side made you snap your attention to it. You knew that voice. You loved that voice.

There she sat.

The Queen.

Her legs were crossed, hands folded upon them. Watching you from her place on your bed.

“That sword was very expensive. And a gift from myself, if I might add,” Natalia said, the corner of her lip up turning slightly, as she cocked an eyebrow.

You sighed. Taking a step towards the red-headed Queen, you said, “I’m sorry, Your Majesty.”

She waved you off.

“I don’t care about the sword,” she said, “I care about what has gotten you in such a foul mood,” Natalia finished with a pout.

You knew how bad she wanted to make you feel better. How much she hated seeing you any other way, but happy.

“They’re incompetent fools.”

Natalia smiled at this.

“The Trainies?”

“Oh, no!” You shook your head. The memories of your day, attacking your mind. “Not just the trainees- If anything, they’re better than most of the men we have now.”

The Queen stayed silent as you spoke. Listening to you intently, her face the only give to any reactions. Namely being a tick of an eyebrow, sometimes even both, and a roll of her eyes.

You drew closer to the beauty that is the woman you have devoted your life to serve. And now to love. However secret that may be.

“I swear. If we ever have the unfortunate luck as to be thrust headfirst into a war... I am afraid we might not survive.”

It was quiet for a moment, as the Queen debated her words. Right now, she was not Natalia, your Natalia. The woman who told you she loved you at the dead of night. The one who called out your name during the throngs of passion. The one who was soft to touch. Who’s skin was perfectly smooth against yours.

No.

This was the Queen.

All business, and took no shit.

The woman who did what she had too for the good of her kingdom, to keep her people safe.

“What do you need?” she asked, finally.

“I don’t know,” you sighed, now only a step away from her, “Time?” you asked simply. Before breaking out of your stress-induced trance. And closing the distance between you and Natalia. Placing a gentle, but firm hand upon her shoulder, you said, “But let’s not think about that now...” You leaned down, to be eye level with her. “I want to spend some time with, my Natalia.”

The Queen smirked at what you called her, it quickly turning into a soft smile.

“I think that can be arranged.”

“Good.”

And with that, you lifted the shorter woman up into your arms, beginning to make your way out of the room.

“Now, I think, after the long day we’ve both had, we deserve a bath.”

***

The water was a milky white, red rose petals floating upon the calming water. The same water that swayed with every movement.

Gasps and moans filled the air, as the wet red-head bounced upon the blue crystal that was almost always strapped against your hips.

You said because it helped in making people believe you were one of the opposite gender. But mainly it was because of how much you love the availability to take the beautiful Queen, whenever, and wherever you two so wanted.

One of your bedchambers.

The throne room.

The dining room.

A random palace hallway.

Hell.

Even in the royal courtyard, if you so wished.

You watched Natalia’s silky wet body move on your lap. The water gliding against her body, her hair wet, and nipples pert. With your hands on her hips, helping her chase bliss. Then continuing to slide along her glistening body, pulling her closer to you.

Natalia panted as you left open-mouthed kisses all along her neck, them travelling up to her cheek, and finally her full lips.

With your arms wrapped tightly around her, one around her smooth shoulders, and your other around her waist. Pressing her against your body, as you kissed her earnestly, pouring everything you felt for the queen into that one kiss. Natalia’s arms wrapped around your neck, as she fucked herself onto you, kissing you the very same way.

“The bath’s starting to get cold,” you mumbled against her mouth.

“Then we should hurry, so that we can go to bed.”

“To sleep? Or...?” You rose your eyebrows. Once. Twice. To convey what you meant.

“Or.”

You smiled brightly at her.

Your lips were around her nipple in the very next second, sucking with enough power to make the Queen cry out. Causing her to buck her hips into your lap, faster than ever. Riding you like one would upon a station, on a long journey. Chasing her realise.

She jumped back in surprise when your hand connected with her small bud, rubbing away at it, but she soon continued to drive the object deep within her “sinful” hole.

It was not long after when she cried out in pleasure. Throwing her head back and crying out to the Gods.

Once Natalia had recovered, merely breathing heavy, with her head tucked into the side of your neck, you spoke.

“Let’s get to bed. Huh?”

***

Sat upon your calves the royal silky sheets rumpled beside you. Natalia’s legs thrown over your hips, and your hands gripping hers. Rutting into her. Drawing out her beautiful sounds.

How the powerful Queen could be reduced to this, you did not know.

You were only thankful that she chose you to reveal this secret side of herself too. Knowing how closed off she was to the world. If she even showed a thread of emotion, like she wanted too, on many occasions, other than her cold and calculated, yet caring self. The surrounding kingdoms would be out for blood.

More than they already were, that is.

“My lord, Natalia,” you husked, “You are beautiful.”

And she was.

She was beautiful, no matter what.

But right now, she was especially stunning.

With her hands gripping yours on her hips, her flushed chest rocking with each of your thrusts. The sweat, and remaining bathwater, making her body shine like the sun. Her mouth parted and gasping, and her eyes heavy-lidded.

You could go on and on about all the things you loved about the woman below you. For an eternity if you could. However, you were in the middle of something, as Natalia reminded you.

“I’m all yours, Y/N,” she spoke softly, “No one could ever compare to you.”

“Nor you, my love.”

Your hands on her hips tightened slightly. Helping her to lay in her stomach, Natalia moving to grip tightly on the silky pillow, pressing her face against it.

Her legs straddled tightly against yours, ass in plain view. The crystal resting on Natalia’s slick, wanting heat.

Groaning softly, you spoke, “There are no words in this world or the next, that could convey how much I truly do love you.”

The Queen hummed softly at your admission, her shoulders moving, and then relaxing with a sigh.

Your hands gently brushed down her silky back, until they reached her ass, caressing the plump asset.

“You were crafted by the God’s,” you said, adoration clear in your voice.

“Then why don’t you make me see them?” she replied, smirk upon her face, as she wiggled her ass to tempt you. The toy rubbing against her core.

And she did tempt you.

Of course, she did.

Pressing down on the crystal, you watched as it steadily disappeared into your loves throbbing head. Natalia moaned, as inch by inch, it vanished within her. Brushing against every crevice, drawing her high-pitched whines when it hit the special parts within her, bringing the Queen utmost pleasure.

With your hands now on her ribs, you slowly started to thrust into her. Working in drawing moans from her.

“Oh, God!” Natalia cried.

“Can you see them yet?” you asked playfully.

“Not quite,” she replied, matching your pants, as she backed herself u onto the toy you fucked her with.

“Guess I’ll just have to go harder.”

The bed was creaking below you, as you worked harder to pound into the woman you loved. Natalia's grip on the white pillow, patterned with red, tightened as cries poured from some unknown place, deep within her.

“Fuck! I love you, baby!”

“I love you, too, Natalia.”

She was close. She was oh so close. You could feel it every time you moved. Every time you pulled the crystal from her depths, only to push it back in, with vigour. It getting harder and harder to do.

“You’re close,” You stated.

Natalia nodded vigorously in agreement. Going to bite against the pillow.

“Don’t do that,” you told her, “I want to hear you, when you arrive.”

At your request, Natalia unclenched her teeth and allowed the pleasure-filled noises to pour from her mouth.

One of her hands snapped to one of yours that lay on her ribs, it surely leaving light bruises in their wake. Gripping at your hand, as she got closer to her much-anticipated release.

You couldn’t pull your gaze from her pleasure-filled face. Her hair sticking to her forehead, and around her ears. You knew that this would be her last orgasm, for a little while.

Pressing kisses against Natalia’s neck, jaw, and cheek. She came with a powerful cry. The hand not holding yours, came to grip the back of your head, fingers sliding through your hair, as her insides tightened around the toy.

You let her ride out her realise before you pulled from her.

With a tried sigh, you flopped down on the luxurious bed, besides the blissed-out royal.

“How you doing there?” Natalia nodded at you. As to say she was okay.

She came to cuddle into your chest.

Your hand was combing through her slightly damp, sex mused hair when the Queen spoke.

“I think it’s about time we came clean to everyone, about our relationship.”

“What?” you asked, shocked.

“Marry me.”

#original work #original fanfiction #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff #marvel #MCU

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spikedru · 3 years

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Hi! So first off, your blog is incredible (probs the best buffy blog I have come across so far?) & second, I have gathered you are a spike fan, super curious to hear your thoughts on the terrible episode in season 6 (?) where he tries to r*pe buffy. I feel like everyone tends to ignore the weirdness of season 6 but I really want to explore other folks opinions on it

lmao thank u for enjoying my bullshit <3

it got kinda long so im putting my thoughts under a read more. tw for discussion of sexual assault

to be frank i dont think ive actually sat down and watched seeing red since the first time i watched the show back when i was like. 14. a lot of shit goes down in that ep that is not fun to watch, nor was it supposed to be. in my personal opinion, i dont like most of season 6. it starts out fine, bargaining and after life are interesting, engaging episodes. the seeds of everyones explosive interpersonal dramas are about to fully bloom, and theres a lot of narrative tension in that regard. but as the characters unhealthy coping mechanisms start to catch up with them and bad decisions after bad decisions are being made, i no longer enjoyed watching characters i love begin to succumb to their downward spirals. the push/pull of negative character development works for some people, but it just wasnt enjoyable to me. i started this blog in march right around the time i was doing my first s6 rewatch in years and i eventually gave up right before riley shows back up because it wasnt fun for me to watch anymore (also because i think as you were is a dumb episode lol) :/ lmao i guess as a depressed 20 something i dont want to also watch a bunch of depressed 20 somethings struggle with real world problems. im still debating whether to just go back and watch the dark willow eps, bc that was fun to see, but other than that ... :/

back to seeing red, while i hate that it lead to an attempted sexual assault, i can understand the narrative path that got them to that point. spike is absolutely in the wrong, he's the one that took it too far, but regardless, from a character perspective i can see how he got to the bathroom. the buffy/spike sexual relationship is absolutely toxic the moment it begins. its built on misunderstandings, buffy using spike without regard for his feelings not understanding that despite being soulless he is his own person with his own emotions, and spike not understanding why buffy is turning to him, that her own self loathing and depression is what is driving her to him as a means of escape, not truly because of a purer emotion like love which is what he wants. their whole tryst is a stew of muddled yes/no mixed signals. and after buffy decides to break it off with spike for good, as a way for herself to begin healing from her depression, it makes sense that he wouldnt fully believe her. she had been turning her back on him and then crawling back so often, why would this time be different? again with the misunderstandings of the relationship between the both of them. they had reached a standstill where neither party knows how the other is interpreting their actions. i like this excerpt from Critically Touched's review of Seeing Red, because i feel like he is able to explain how they got to that bathroom scene in a very succinct way

"Something had to happen with these two. Spike had to just leave the show, die, or do something so bad to Buffy that he'd need to get a soul to even attempt to make things right with her, despite the fact that having a soul makes him a new individual in the process. So, despite obviously not "enjoying" the scene, I did find it shocking and I did find it valuable from a character perspective. Due to their twisted sexual relationship this season, I'm not convinced anything else other than this would result in Spike fighting for his soul to be not just a better man... but to be a man (which is poetically said in "Beneath You" [7x02])."

here is the link to the rest of the review -> [link] which i feel like, as with his other buffy reviews, is able to objectively analyze the episode in a really interesting and in depth way, and also help contextualize the episode not just within the season but the rest of the show. i recommend looking through the rest of his reviews, its an interesting perspective from someone who clearly loves this show a lot and is willing to take the time to analyze both the narrative threads as well as the character development, giving every single character their dues in his analysis.

i genuinely love both buffy and spike a lot as characters. they are both incredibly engaging and interesting, in how they grow and change throughout the course of the show, as well as how they play off each other and what they bring out in each other. seeing red is a difficult episode for a lot of people, and for good reason. while their relationship was toxic for both parties it was absolutely spike that took it too far, his attempted sexual assault is inexcusable, and he pays dearly for his transgression. i dont know if i will sit down and watch seeing red ever lol, its definitely up there with the body for episodes that i refuse to rewatch often (though for entirely different reasons lol).

i hope i explained that adequately. its a sensitive subject and i kno a lot of people understandably dont like spike because of his actions in s6. he had straddled the line between good and bad for so long that he had to reach some kind of tipping point to either go fully good or fully bad, and if he died or left the show it would have felt that his character arc had been cut short or left unfinished somehow. its unfortunate and terrible that the tipping point had to come at the cost of assault towards buffy, but as Critically Touched said given that the nature of their relationship was roughly sexual and full of misunderstandings, i can see how it ended up in that bathroom.

also just as a quick aside the way the scene is shot does an excellent job of evoking this sense of dread and wrong. you can tell immediately something awful is going to happen and it makes my skin crawl

#asks #eachothersthroats

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writingwithcolor · 4 years

Text

White Villainous Cult Leader Uses Fascism to “Correct” Colonialism

The primary antagonist of my series (who is white) is a cult leader who eventually forms a political party that takes over the United States. While in power, he begins targeting specific groups of people; including people with English, Scottish, Welsh, Irish, French, and Spanish ancestry. His hatred comes from colonialism and the atrocities committed against Native Americans. (Other groups he hates are Democrats, Republicans, people with disabilities, and elderly people over 80 for various reasons.)

My question is, could that be offensive to Native Americans? The first novel takes place in Indiana specifically, the town he was raised in which was once a sacred sight to the Potawatomi Tribe. The Native American characters I introduce will mostly be from the Potawatomi Tribe. I plan to have them all be against the antagonist since I didn’t want to make it seem like Native Americans would support someone like that.

I don’t want to make it seem like being angry over the treatment of Native Americans is wrong, so I might change why he hates those groups.

Finally, what are some good websites for information on the Potawatomi people? I found a few online already, I’m just uncertain if they are good or not.

Thanks for reading :)

Preface: this submission came without a title. I have chosen this title very specifically because this is what fascism looks like: it does not allow people to thrive, all based off what is in many cases a situation of birth (what ancestry you have, your orientation, your age, many disabilities).

That out of the way.

He is a villain. The Native characters are against his type of “championing”, and he’s seen as wrong. He is shown as a deeply hateful person, and that is good.

What I would suggest:

Have Non-Fascist Decolonizers

The point about how you don’t want people to see decolonizing work as wrong is fairly easy to fix: make it that there are heroic people who want to do decolonial work without falling into fascism.

You’re basically going to have to do this, because you are going to need decolonial work to defeat this antagonist. I’m not sure if you intended it, but this villain is still working within the confines of colonialism and using that power for ill ends. He is, in the end, reinforcing the settler state, instead of decolonizing it (because decolonizing it would mean he didn’t have power anymore, and cult leaders can’t have that).

Make the Fascism Extent to Native People

This one would actually be surprisingly easy to accomplish, because Native identity in its legal sense was designed to wipe us out and is very ahistorical, but someone with his mindset would see it as a gold standard.

Have him outlaw inter-tribe marriages (or even white/Native marriages) because they’re “impure.” Have him forbid cultural diffusion/exchange because that “isn’t how it was” (it was, but try getting white people to listen to that). Have him enforce a bunch of rules based off Noble Savage and the assumption our cultures stopped evolving in the 1700s. Have his understanding of Native peoples be incomplete, based off white supremacy, but masquerading as “helpful.”

Alternatively, or perhaps at the same time, look into the literature around how mixed children will save everyone (The Moonies are a cult with that basis), all the while simply amplifying racial fetishization. He could, for example, encourage everyone to marry into Native tribes to increase the population, so long as they give up their culture… but only certain kinds of people, who won’t “taint” the line.

Basically, make him even more racist, but in ways that look positive but in practice very much are not.

Have Him Appropriate Culture

This might be a little kick-the-dog, but in my experience with cults, they often assume they know more than the peoples they’re taking the principles from. It is extremely white saviour, extremely self-gratifying, and extremely accurate for societal villains.

This would require you to do enough research into the tribe in question to know what the appropriated vs real version would look like, and would require sensitivity readers, but it would be a great way to show that “championing a Native cause” can be for white saviour ends.

But trust me, cults will absolutely do that. Anthropologists do it all the time (I have seen an anthropologist studying BC Natives be upset that sacred symbols were changed because an artist in a different region took artistic liberties with his own culture to make what he felt was accurate), and cult leaders would be even more fanatical over not letting Native people exist as people, instead of dioramas.

On the Potawatomi

So long as the sources are tribe-authored and/or come from scholars that had a known connection with the tribe, you should be alright. Unfortunately I can’t provide much more than that, because I’m not in the region.

All In All

Villains are allowed to be evil, and nasty, and the whole trope of anti-villain exists for a reason. Good motives are still possible to execute wrong, and so long as you have people who accomplish the goals through less hurtful ends, you would be condemning fascism.

Nothing says he has to actually do right by us, and it would make me more comfortable if he did wrong to us in the name of helping (his ego > actual helping, basically). Part of his villainy is assuming he knows how to do right by us, and that’s an interesting thread to explore.

Others are welcome to share their opinions.

~ Mod Lesya

#Writing question #submission #cult #dystopia #native american #colonialism #Villains #white savior #asks #long post

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subjectsix · 5 years

Text

Hitman 2 and 3 theories

OKAY so I’ve been reading about Hitman 2/3 theories and thinking on the ending of the Haven level a lot and decided to make a post about it because analyzing stuff is fun dkfjghdjkfhg

Spoilers for the end of Hitman 2/the Haven level below the cut! (y’all its so much I’m sorry KJLDFHGKJFHG its Hitman Lore And Meta Time)

FIRST lemme just say. Y’all I’m very aware I’m a big Lucas Grey fan dkjgfhkdjhg BUT I did my best to make sure that wasn’t getting into my analyzation too much, I like being as objective/unbiased as possible bc the Hitman storyline is wonderful (and if Lucas is the villain oooo Drama™)

anyway this is gonna be a long ramble so here’s the TL;DR

Big point: I don’t think we can accurately piece together any sort of an answer currently, and IO wants us to doubt everyone and everything for the “hook” into the next game, and they did a lovely job at it! Thank you IO <3

My three running theories with the info we have:

None of the main four are working with the constant, and he is manipulating them all to try and turn them on each other, making them doubt each other to cause dissension among them (see: him telling Diana about the hit on her parents, the concept that he’s making Lucas out to be a traitor) which could result in Lucas’ death (or not)

Lucas is being “held hostage” in a way by the constant-- Edwards has him by some threat or pressure point credible enough to make Lucas work for him

The least likely in my opinion due to evidence and Lucas’ character, but still possible maybe: Lucas made a deal with the constant somehow (when he would’ve found the time, I don’t know) because he’s got it in his head that he and 47 should be the providence leaders-- somewhere along the way he got so obsessed/focused on this all he got his view skewed and genuinely thinks he’s doing a good and helpful thing

So what prompted me was this specific comment on a hitman subreddit theory thread:

So to me, the idea that Lucas has been a traitor from the start doesn’t seem to add up. If you look at everything we've seen from IO about him, it shows that Lucas is on a path of vengeance-- suddenly allowing The Constant off the hook seems like a massive shift in character, especially considering the comic and what we've seen of Lucas and 47 as kids (more on this in a bit)

So the only leap you can make after that to blame Lucas is the second comment on that reddit response, but that seems like such a big cheesy sci-fi stretch to me. If you look at Lucas and 47 knowing they’re clones, you can clearly see the resemblance. They aren’t just brothers, they’re like. They’re near exactly the same in appearance (save for the fact that 47’s in much better shape and like. Bald DFHFDJHG). You could argue that Lucas had his face changed to appear to be a clone, but you have to consider that they both have the hand scars from the pact they made as children, the comic confirms Lucas/6’s existence, Lucas has a lot of Ort-Meyer knowledge others don’t have, and 47 is remembering Lucas

Any leap past that gets wackier, like...

- Maybe 47 has DOUBLE fake memories from his time in the institute and this has been planned from the beginning? Doesn’t seem satisfying nor IO’s style, plus it seems rather out of character for 47.

- Ether antidote somehow gave him fake memories? Also nah, seems just too out there/odd/improbable

So from here, the only thing that I can personally add up and understand in the vein of Lucas being a traitor is the concept of Lucas maybe having a bent concept of like... morality? I can see him maybe getting a bit too over the edge, too bent and obsessed on Providence and taking them down, and somehow talking himself into thinking he and 47 need to be in control of Providence because they’re the only ones that can make things “right”. From what I’ve seen, he hasn’t exhibited behavior that tells me that in full, but that makes much more sense than him being A Complete Snake™ because if he was a traitor it would defo be in the “he fully thinks he’s doing the right and good thing for 47”

ANYWAY consider this evidence in game:

- Lucas being shown repeatedly to go to great lengths to avoid collateral damage/citizens getting hurt or killed (you can overhear this being talked about on Hawke’s Bay, Columbia (and from Lucas himself in Rico’s office), and I think Colorado, but I’m not sure. I’m sure there’s other locations as well).

- Lucas' genuine concern for Olivia to the point that he gives her her whole own security detail (seen on Colorado, thank u @olliemander for showing me that!!!), as well as the fact that he met her when she was 7 (can somebody say father figure), and she's the only person in the whole militia to have both seen him and know his real name, not even Sean Rose knows his name and those that have seen him have all been killed (Viktor, the Providence member in the cutscene after Sapienza)

- His seemingly genuine reaction to realizing he killed Diana's parents (seen in the cutscene before Sgáil)

- His seemingly genuine concern over 47's wellbeing after the ether antidote (seen in the cutscene after Whittleton)

- His seemingly genuine reaction to/at the institute (the man is genuinely emotional over it all)

- The Constant's complete bafflement at Lucas' actions-- you can overhear this on Sgáil-- and I suppose you could argue that this is just fake so Edwards and Lucas can play the long con, but that seems unlikely to me

- also this is less of a piece of evidence but still interesting, Lucas’ man on the island that gets him the info on the poison chip and the Washington Sisters comes from a genuine NPC you can listen to, who calls Lucas to give him more info and tell him their debt from their old CICADA days is repaid and to just leave him alone now AKJDLFHGKJDFHG

I mean, yeah, it could all be things to mislead us, but I don’t think so-- his behavior lines up throughout the years of his life that we’ve been shown, and 47 isn’t one to blindly trust people.

This leaves the idea that Lucas has been working with Edwards from the start, but that too seems like a long stretch to me-- Lucas seems to hate what he and 47 had to go through (as seen in the comics and just his behavior we’ve seen), and he carries that weight (like he mentions in the cutscene before Sgáil, and in the Homecoming cutscene). He seems to really struggle with survivor’s guilt over his escape from the institute. Plus Lucas doing a double side switch seems a bit Much™ (but I totally could be wrong akdljfhgkjdgh)

Ultimately tho, here's the thing: I don’t think we can solve this puzzle yet, because IO wants us to wait for Hitman 3. What good is it if we bust it before the game comes out?

They did this with the end of the Sgáil mission-- it was a big ominous cliffhanger but then we just sorta scooted along (so they could keep building the story, it was well done IMO)

My most likely theory at the moment is the idea that Edwards is trying to turn 47, Lucas, Diana, and Olivia on each other because he realizes they’re a threat. Bc If I’m real, I currently don't think any of the core group are working with The Constant, which is terrifying, because it means the constant is way more powerful than we thought and way less helpless than we thought he was in his current position. (So that means the text/phone call/whatever Lucas got in the end cutscene was from Edwards posing as someone else like Olivia). Plus, if Diana gets into contact with 47, she’s going to tell him Edwards is gone. If for some reason 47 can’t contact her, he’s going to be suspicious and on high alert.

Edwards is a scheming, smart dude and I don’t doubt him being able to do that at all. He knows Diana and 47 are close and trust each other (“in his own special way, he cares about you”) and felt the need to mention to her that 47 and Lucas were behind her parents’ deaths-- that’s not just bonus information, he did it for a reason. This also puts his line of “Do you really want to do this to me?” to the Partners in reference to being under scrutiny and needing the poison chip under a SUPER terrifying and ominous light. What sort of power does this man wield?

I would personally love to see Lucas survive these games AKJHSFJGH but I can see the story leading to 47 have to make a call to shoot Lucas (thinking he’s a traitor), playing hard against the emotions of it all, especially with the reveal that this was all a set up by The Constant, making 47 go after him with a vengeance. (also not to be angsty™ but can you imagine Lucas and 47 talking after 47’s shot him? Oof ouchy my heart)

Another possibility I can see is like my friend Synth suggested-- Lucas wanting to go in violently and take it all out on The Constant, while 47 holds him back for tactics sake

In terms of Lucas and Edwards working together, sans them planning it from the start, there really would’ve been no time for Lucas to talk to The Constant between his capture and the departure for the bank. I also can’t currently make sense of many reasons why Lucas would side with him and not tell 47 or Olivia

My final idea that plays into the idea of Lucas as a traitor is the idea that, somehow, The Constant is holding Lucas hostage in a way? That if by chance they got to speak to each other, The Constant lorded some threat over Lucas that was serious enough to him to agree to help him (like a threat against 47 or Olivia, etc). I’m not sure though, but the idea is interesting to me :Oc

aNYWAY big ol’ rant over! Here’s some pics of Lucas’ voice actor in Alice and Wonderland enjoy fdjgkhdfkjghkjfh

#hitman 2 #hitman 2016 #lucas grey #agent 47 #the constant #the shadow client #arthur edwards #diana burnwood #olivia hall #this just in: kip goes OFF on theories for hitman #coffee talks #this is okay to reblog and discuss btw!!!!!!!!#long post #hitman

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foundphoenix · 5 years

Note

do em all gang

this ended up being SUPER LONG. so instead of clogging up the dash,, i just put it under a cut. but here. all 38 of this meme here.

1. what would prevent you from following someone?

i won't follow back if there isn't a rules page for me to read. OR if i can't find the link to the rules page. i'm a stickler for being able to read someone's rules. it makes me super anxious not to be able to do so.

2. are aesthetics important to you? if they are, why?

sometimes. i won't NOT follow someone if i don't like their aesthetic. because when it comes right down to it -- i don't have to see someone’s aesthetics every day. just their writing.

3. what current rp trend do you hate?

i actually can't really think of one? i'm not super in the know about all the trends, though.

4. how do you explain rp to someone in the real world?

i've been roleplaying long enough that most people in my life know that i roleplay. but -- if i have to explain it to someone new... i kinda just tell them like -- i roleplay. and if they don't know what it is or if they immediately go to kinky things then i go more in depth and explain that no it's a writing thing between two people.

5.do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? why?

i don't really have a preference, if we're being honest. i know that most people do but... i really can't think of a single reason why i prefer one over the other.

6. do you prefer writing male muses or female more? why?

considering i have several more male muses than female you could probably say that i have a preference for male muses. but? i don't know exactly why that is. i think that... it just happens that way. i think that it's because i gravitate towards the abused boys, lmao. i want to cuddle them and love them and make them happy.

7. what's your opinion on call out posts?

i don't like them. i feel like things could be resolved in messages or with a block. but then again -- i've never been in a situation like that. so i don't know what the mindset is behind putting someone on blast.

8. name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

i really hate that we all can't just be nice & respect each other. i hate that people seem to gravitate to male muses more than they do female ones. & i absolutely cannot stand the drama.

9. what is your opinion on exclusivity? do you practice it? why / why not?

i have my preferences... but i don't practice exclusives anymore. i find that it causes more drama than it's worth.

10. have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? as either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them?

no, i haven't.

11. what do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started.

i've been roleplaying since i was twelve. over the years i've learned, as a sheltered homeschooled kid, that people can be harsh. it doesn't hurt anyone's feelings to be mean to you. / writing is hard. i've really had to work at getting to where i am now. & that this is a hobby, not a job. i don't have to do anything that i don't want to do.

12. have you ever been involved in drama? do you regret it?

not on tumblr, no.

13. have you ever thought about leaving rp? what caused it? what changed you mind?

i've thought about leaving roleplay hundreds of times since i was twelve. since i've been on tumblr though, i've never really thought about quitting altogether. i have, however, thought about changing fandoms a few times.

14. do you think rp has a positive or a negative effect on your life or you as a person?

i think it's had both, honestly. it has brought me so many great friends that i hope to keep forever. but on the other hand, there has been a whole helluva lot of drama over the years that have caused me to cry & stress out a lot. i put far too much effort into making people online like me. i worry far too much about what they think.

15. has rp changed you personally?

YES. all of my social interaction for years has come from online & rp. my friends have shaped and changed me from an innocent, anxious child. to an even more anxious adult. i have grown up on roleplay. like i said, i have been roleplaying since i was 12. i've changed a lot since then. i don't know what rp & the online community has directly affected to explain and what was just destined... but. lmao.

16. if you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? why?

i'd change how everyone treats each other. i just really wish that everyone could get along. i hate seeing people getting left out.

17. have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? why?

no, i haven't. i've sent asks to myself in the very beginning to see what they would look like on themes -- but it was never on anon & they got deleted just after.

18. have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? why?

NO. i have never done this. i've never even thought of it. i don't agree with it, either.

19. do you delete anon hate or post and address it? why?

i have never received anon hate ( so far. ) so i'm unsure how i would address it. probably just delete it and move on.

20. have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren't comfortable with?

YES. it's been a few years. but back where i used to write. everything was pretty anything goes. and there were a few times where i was uncomfortable with the scenes i was doing.

21. have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to?

yes.

22. what would make you block someone?

repeatedly breaking my rules. i'd soft block first. i'd only block if they came back and continued to do it.

23. have you ever stolen something from someone else?

i will admit, i have taken plot ideas before & wrote them with friends on discord. but i've never stolen anything like graphics or icons. that's not cool.

24. have you ever had something stolen from you? if so, how did you handle it?

no, i haven't.

25. are you open to duplicates? why / why not?

in the past i've been very open to duplicates. as of recent, i've been having some major duplicate anxiety. i don't like to see them on my dash. BUT i've made several good friends out of duplicates in other fandoms. so? i guess i'm chill w/ them. sometimes it just makes me anxious, haha.

26. how do you feel about vague posting?

not big on it, tbh.

27. do you follow people even if they don't follow you back?

i don't really check my mututals that often ! when i do, i'll go unfollow the people that i know i've been following for a while that never followed me back. but that's rare. tbh i don't really follow people first much anymore? idk sksks.

28. do you read people's rules before following or interacting?

ALWAYS. i literally will have anxiety if i don't. lmao.

29. what is your opinion on "reblog karma" and do you practice it?

i ALWAYS try to send a meme if i can. but i don't actively practice reblog karma -- i don't really care tbh. i'm grateful for all the memes i get. & with credence,, there are very few memes i'm comfortable w/ sending from him just bc of how he is. he's v picky w/ memes. if i can't send something i DO try to reblog from the source but shrug

30. how have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? do you use it in everyday life? do you use it at all?

i think it depends by what slang you mean? i've picked up several things from tumblr & twitter too? they're very similar in the way everyone talks. so?? i guess that i've picked it up idk skksks.

31. is there something you don't know the meaning of, but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it's supposed to be general knowledge? was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain?

i google a lot of the things i don't understand. which is a lot. or i ask morgan lmao.

32. have you ever experienced discrimination?

no, i don't think so.

33. how do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog?

i don't mind them following as long as they don't interact & throw off my activity.

34. have you ever cried while writing a reply?

yes, i have. most certainly.

35. do you read other people's threads, or do you only read your own?

i only really read my own. & morgan's if she sends them to me! sometimes i'll skim replies on the dash but i never really search out whole threads.

36. what is one thing other people seem to hate that doesn't bother you?

i can't?? really think of anything?? idk. lmao.

37. how do you feel about tagging triggers? do you tag them? how do you determine what is triggering contend and what isn't?

i don't tag triggers. except for anything nsfw & negative. ( which, i tag just as nsfw & negativity tw. ) i cannot determine what all is triggering content and it makes me REALLY anxious to try.

38. what advice would you give to someone new to rp?

HAVE FUN. don't try and take it so seriously that you end up making yourself a ball of nerves. this is a hobby. you don't have to take it so seriously that it wrecks your nerves. take advice from others. and just... enjoy yourself. idk. lmao.

OKAY FINALLY LMAO. damn, that was kinda stressful. took FOREVER.

#⁂. ooc ask. / me @ me: damn. no offense; but you need a fuckin' therapist.#aurorheroed #WOW #that took FOREVER #but there #lmao #all 38 #icb that i didn't just delete your ask #rip me & my fingers

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thcodcre · 6 years

Text

beep beep hey y’all ,, ur local gremlin ‘n dumpster dweller here but u can call me kay !! don’t mind the trash like state of my blog atm i just have attachment issues from old threads when i was previously in this lovely group. but yes !! feel free to yell at me in my it’s if u wanna plot or just *youtuber vc* smash that like button and i’ll slide on over for plots !!

( tom holland / twenty-one / he&him ) is that ( theodore caldwell ) ordering a ( white chocolate mocha ) at mocha? i heard they’re a ( paralegal ) who’s known as the ( polymath ) around here. however, they say ( theo ) is very ( pragmatic ), but ( headstrong ). well, better get their drink before it gets cold!

okie so first things first ,,ya boy’s full name is theodore dashiell caldwell but prefers the nickname of theo to those close to him bc it’s simpler and doesn’t like how proper it sounds ,,given in the public sphere he’s known by his full name but only those who get the Seal of Approval get to call him teddy,,, he was born in brooklyn, new york to virginia caldwell ( the current united states ambassador to the united nations and ex-chief executive officer of greenpeace ) and quentin caldwell ( current new york senator and democratic whip minority leader in congress )

while v democratic and liberal in beliefs, theo was always v uncertain about following a path that strayed away from what his parents expected of him since both are v established in the political world so theo always felt like he had to put forth this perfect appearance of himself so he was worthy to be boasted about by his parents to colleagues and political opponents alike with his academics, accomplishments, etc.

due to him being brought up in the public eye as his parents built their respective careers ( lowkey trash in viewing his parents as frank and claire underwood but with more chill rip ), theo didn’t have many friends so partly as a way to give him a hobby to pursue outside of school and to meet new friends, his parents signed up a 5 year old theo for language lessons and a soccer lessons ,,,u know ,, lil kid things ,,, so it’s here that begins theo’s love for languages bc he’s a nerd and a bit of a polyglot but as of now he’s fluent in italian, spanish, french, german, russian and latin ,, ur boy is currently learning arabic and mandarin

being raised by his parents meant that theo was brought up with the caldwell ambition and hard work ethic, believing in order to succeed you must work hard for what you want and that change can only be made in the world if you fight enough for it. this transferred over to theo’s academic standing who worked to keep up his 4.0 gpa 

for real though,,,theo was the kid in all ap classes and managed to seem effortlessly cool but also was a giant ass nerd ?? ask him about harry potter, star wars or marvel ( bring up dc to him and he will rant off on why marvel is better ) and he’ll sure as hell have a vocal opinion ( don’t get him started on hp,,,snape was a bully and can choke,,,while draco is his fave that he’ll defend forever ) 

on top of him being a raging nerd, he was also a big activist while in high school and was that kid handing out flyers for an upcoming protest to the school board demanding for healthier school lunches and fair prices for such since the unhealthy options were much cheaper, and standing on cafeteria tables for change in school policies 

at the time he was a smol in the local private catholic school so he often got beat up from the sports teams ( i’m just a lil emo picturing tom is the school uniform and internally crying nbd ) for protesting school fundings being unfairly distributed, more often than not benefiting the sports teams rather than the drama department, the art department or even better academic resources 

im gettin emo thinkin of lil theo and lil tom wearing uniform blazers and being a lil politician in the making r…ip me,,but yes so he graduates valedictorian and accepted into princeton as a politics major of which theo had to nearly threaten his dad not to donate money for a new library to sway his acceptance

it’s during theo’s time at princeton that he truly begins to find himself and grows more confident ??? gone are the days of string bean theo and bada bing bada boom enter tom’s spider-man physique bc theo starts taking more care of himself and just v self assured in his place in the world and just wanting to help people and make a change ?? for now he just wants to make a difference as a lawyer and maybe work for the state and maybe down the line turn political ,, but he’s debating whether to go aim toward corporate, constitutional law, or international humanitarian law

since the past few years in college have been super !!! especially throwing in helping out his parents with appearances, stress of keeping up his grades, and generally running off of caffeine and the determination of elle woods ,, theo is taking a year or so off to steady himself but he got an internship position at baker & mckenzie law firm here in chicago as a paralegal to get some experience in the field before going off to harvard law ,, plus his dad has connections that may have tilted the scale in theo’s favor for the job but theo is a bit ,, naive in his optimism

overall though theo is the least bit pretentious person and is a p chill dude,,,understands his privilege and knows that not everyone is born into money like his family is,.,, loves helping people and just wants the world to be a better place ??? v openly liberal in terms of political beliefs and 10/10 would fight donald trump and jeff sessions in a heartbeat do it for the vine 

likes to think he’s kinda cool but don’t let him fool u he is a Nerd ,,,will probably rant off to u about harry potter and why draco malfoy is not only the best character but why he and the slytherin house are done dirty and snape can choke ,..also list an abundance of reasons as to why he will defend tony stark until the end of his days ,,,also probably has a collection of iron man comics and harry potter wands bye

his sense of humor is the worst i swear legit it’s all pop culture references with a mixture of shitty puns and jokes beware ,, he’s extremely level headed though and knows how to make good decisions, pragmatic as shit but can often lead to him being very over-analytical and dwelling on things too much

v charismatic and loves talking to people,,,and this isn’t a personality trait,,,well maybe considering he’s fashionable as shit and loves cardigans and button down shirts and chelsea boots,,,but also loves to be casual in joggers and a light shirt,,,but his fave designers are paul smith, ted baker and givenchy  bc i hate him

#mochahq: intro #did i copy n paste from my old one ... yes #don't @ me #but ily all

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gyroshrike · 7 years

Text

To everyone who saw the Kalematsuba Call-Out Post

I’m not sure where to start, and my chest is getting kind of tight just trying to plan it in my head, so I’m just gonna try and start saying words and hope it comes together in the end.

Now, I’m absolutely not well known on this site, so you really have no reason to listen to me, but all I can do is speak from the heart and those of you who read this will have to decide whether what I say is worth anything.

Also, I’m not here to show you proof of anything. I can only share my opinions of and my experience with Kale and of these events in a way that I hope resonates with people who aren’t sure how to feel or who maybe jumped too quickly when faced with a call-out post.

I’ve been following Kalematsuba for two years, since he first made his current blog. Since then, this is the first I have ever been confronted with the idea that Kale has the past he does. And I know that’s the cue for a lot of you to claim he’s been keeping it a secret, but what I mean is, is that since I followed Kale I have seen nothing that alludes to him drawing anything other than wonderful, enjoyable, safe content and being anything other than a genuine, trustworthy human being.

I pride myself on having a pretty good bullshit detector and judge of character. When I meet someone, people who usually turn out to be negative or bad people I don’t want to associate with, I usually feel the vibes instantly. I listen to what people say, how they say things. I listen for those same vibes. Kale has never, EVER, not once, given me those vibes. I have never felt uncomfortable talking with him one on one, in a group setting, or as part of his audience.

Now, this not a post debating on whether or not what Kale did was wrong. I’m not here for that. Sexualizing children and child-like characters is bad. (I’m also not here to argue how ethical it is to age up child characters for the purpose of sexualizing them because that’s a whole other can of worms.)

Kale fully acknowledges what he did. When the news broke out in the personal discord channel he mods for his followers he admitted immediately to anyone who didn’t already know the situation:

“for the sake of transparency, I DID used to draw femboy art and "shota" like characters..but it was never about drawing "cp" it was so i could cope with being an effeminate boy..and then people sarted commissioning me for that type of work and it got way grosser than i ever intended it to”

For people who are construing was Kale said in a post he made earlier, then deleted, it wasn’t about sexualizing children in order to cope with dysphoria. That was not what he meant. He was referring to drawing effeminate boys, “effeminate boy” being how Kale felt at the time. It wasn’t about an attraction to the characters he drew. He saw himself in his art. These effeminate boys were representation of him to varying degrees. Unfortunately, what happened is this expressed itself using a very shota style and characters that were originally created to be underage.

That being said, Kale himself admits that it got out of hand. He is not denying he did something bad. He’s not denying the unhealthiness of the situation.

A follower who experienced this with Kale also added this about the people who would commission artwork from Kale:

[ALL SCREENCAPS ARE STAMPED WITH HST TIME ZONE]

“Kale was groomed into their incredibly posessive circle he tried to escape and they threatened to hurt him [and] eventually they finally lost interest”

Kale said nothing of this and did not ask to be defended. This was said unprompted. This is not meant to excuse Kale, but to perhaps give a little bit more insight into the context of the situation. He talks about it fully here.

All of the screencaps are from Kale’s discord, which was the first discord I ever joined and Kale always made it very clear that it was a safe place and had little tolerance for bullshit or anything that made any of his followers feel unsafe. Kale’s discord is now the standard I hold other discord channels to. They need to be safe, healthy, supportive places.

“I've been dealing with an actual dangerous procontact pedophile, but tumblr goes after the savior who rescued me”

“heres the thing of it. i have been a victim of pedophiles. these people are sick and horrible. YOU kale are no pedophile. i get a vibe from those sickos but you make me feel okay, your aura is safety. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON WITH A HUGE HEART whome i respect and care about, as i do everyone i know. i will support you 100% and thats that”

“Coming out of the woodwork here to just say: Nobody likes who they were 5 years ago, you know who I was 5 years ago? A 14 year old girl who shipped my male classmates for the sake of seeing "hot Yaoi" I made and laughed at rape jokes, I contributed to the "women suck" stereotypes put out by a bunch of teenage boys

Four years ago I pushed away friends I loved dearly for the sake of saving face with a "good artist" I admired, I regret it immensely, but my mindset from 4 years ago was different from what it is now. I used to judge who I become friends with based on their artistic ability alone

Three years ago I made a post that got really popular about the "jock/nerd soulmates" trope, I was the originater and romanticized an abusive trope bc I thought it was a good idea, I was 16, now I realize what a mistake that was and I've learned the error of my ways

TL;DR: Tumblr fucking sucks, it's a toxic place, and people will jump at any thread of drama they possibly can if it means they can unravel someone being successful in a way they can only dream of being

Kale, whether you were into shouta art or not doesn't matter, what matters is that you've moved past it, you're done with it, that's not the person you are now and you've grown as a person Your past mistakes do not define you and what you've accomplished, the things you've learned do.What you've made here, all the art, your own community, your freaking comic that a lot of people are onboard with, that's what's amazing and incredible and you should be proud of itYou are better than this, you are better than who you were 5 years ago, and if these holier-than-thou internet teenagers can't even try to understand that people can change, then they don't matter. They're not worth your time, your tears, or your work”

These screencaps are just from today. These don’t even begin to cover the time and time again that people have found support and comfort and a healthy environment in Kale’s discord from many a number of things not limited to: mental illness, abuse, traumatic experiences, suicide, and even gentler more mundane things like life and art advice.

Another point I would like to make about the validity of Kale’s character. In the call-out post posted today (August 21st, 2017), all OP does is link to their previously made call-out post (August 21st, 2015). There is no added material, no new art, nothing, to attest to any continued behavior or art that could reflect negatively on Kale. Which to me, implies that Kale has so soundly changed as a person and what he features in his art, that OP didn’t have anything else to say about him. Mind you, the original post is 2 years old and Kale shut down his pixiv and patreon years ago.

Kale himself said that:

“i literally havent drawn an ounce of that stuff in 4 years”

OP is not bringing anything new to the table. Nothing has changed from 2015 to 2017.

And if anyone receives hate mail from someone claiming to be a supporter of Kale, they are not from Kale’s inner circle and did not get is permission to do so. We within the personal discord agree that this situation will be met only with calmness and positive support for Kale. Anyone attacking Call-Out OP or their supporters is acting on their own or is a fake with the intention of further defaming Kale.

WHY I IMPLORE YOU TO KEEP SUPPORTING KALE

He is creating 1989nk to for trans and nb youth like him, who, from dysphoria and a lack of representation, may will seek out media or express themselves in ways that are unsafe or unhealthy.

He does not want what he experienced to happen to other trans and nb youth. That’s why 1989nk has such obvious trans colors on the front. He wants potential trans readers to see it, read it, and feel validated, safe, and represented.

I truly believe anyone who really looks into Kale’s current work, how he feels for 1989nk, the heart and soul he’s put into it, would see the kind of person he is.

Look, when I’m with my friends, I’ll be the first person to lean over and say something is problematic, makes me uncomfortable, or might be unhealthy. Anyone who knows me well can tell you that I never, ever stick my nose into tumblr discourse. So, if I’m sitting here addressing you all like this, it’s because I wholeheartedly believe in this person with everything I have.

I believe in Kale. I trust Kale. I wouldn’t follow him or support his work if I didn’t.

But then again, you have no reason to trust me. You may have to look and decide for yourself.

#kalematsuba #kalechippu #discourse #misinformation correction #sweethearts of 1989 #putting this is that tag #because the original call out post was posted in it #okay to reblog #if this made you think or reconsider AT ALL #please reblog #especially if you reblogged the call out post #navi notes #suicide mention #abuse mention #long post

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fromthedeskofelizabeththird · 7 years

Text

So this is the Bullshit

I don’t believe in call out posts. I think they’re unnecessary and usually create a tidal wave of drama over a misunderstanding or an issue that might have been resolved with a simple click of ‘unfollow’ or block’.

This is one of those instances where it is necessary. Where the actions of one person are genuinely harmful and quite likely malicious and it’s actually impossible to know the extent of everything they have done.

Before I proceed, I want to make it clear that I do not condone sending this person hateful asks-or, indeed, any- asks about their behaviour. If you wish to unfollow or block them-or not- then that is your business. But I did not make this post to encourage spiteful behaviour.

I want to thank everyone who contributed to this post, whether it was sending me data, good vibes, proofing or just cheering up my cranky butt at varying points between now and April. Without further ado:-

This is a callout post for user Vallanoble, for actions spanning back to February of this year.

Before I start, I need to point out a couple of things, this is a long ass story. It might take at least one session to get through all of the receipts, of which there are many.

Also: tumblr took a shit on the formatting and none of the links work now. Everything is ugly but I have a back up I’ll post when whatever weird glitch this is fixes itself.

SEVERE TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS POST

Secondly, for much of April, before this story crossed over to tumblr, Vallan went by a nickname that was an amalgamation their general location on my statcounter and the fact they had sent weird anons as opposed to their actual name. Now that the story is being publicly connected to a singular individual, I’ve edited out all references to physical locations from my data and switched out the actual place in the document with the word ‘dipshit’. Yes, this took hours. Yes. I had a LOT of help. This is in the interest of protecting user privacy, however and not dishonesty.

First things first, Dipshit anon is an overly passionate Zen fan. They don’t interact much, so tbh I never really noticed them ?? But for sure they were following me around the time of this post

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/155205738770/1-am-i-the-only-person-who-feels-like-zen-is

(which seems to be the first they reblogged from me) and I recall they had been for quite some time at the time of this one

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156327734615/i-love-how-you-always-take-survivors-opinions-into

which they later alluded to in a post of their own.

It’s important to actually note several things happening at this point:-

Random overly enthusiastic Zen anon exhibit A // http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156228295970/you-know-theres-something-that-annoys-me-like

Not so rando enthusiastic Zen anon // http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156308585305/i-have-a-question-how-did-you-interpret-zens-bad

Zen anon the third // http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156206700610/what-are-your-thoughts-on-the-conflict-between-zen

Zen’s creepy childhood brought up with the beginnings of resentment towards a Jumin post made only shortly before

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156210280495/honestly-im-so-glad-youre-talking-about-how

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/155500851985/what-do-you-think-to-the-thoery-that-jumin-is-a

Tbh I’m a bit annoyed that tumblr removed their historical notes from posts so I can’t actually reference stuff properly >:[, but January was a very busy month in terms of Zen anons (a pretty recent thing, so I don’t think Dipshit had been following me for THAT long??) asking me about stuff while I posted Jumin fics and other Jumin meta, all while Dipshit anon liked the posts all of thirty seconds after I answered them, which basically led me to the conclusion they’d probably been the one asking in the first place.

In January, they talked to me about fanfiction

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156305150630/vallanoble-replied-to-your-post-wait-why-dont

This is important. At the very least please take note of the tone

In January, they were also posting this, complaining about Jumin blogs shitting on their favourite character.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/156356257463/something-ive-noticed-is-that-almost-all-the

(I took screens in case of deletion)

This post is fine on its own, but crucial context for what came later.

By this point, I had them tagged on Statcounter, though I didn’t know about these posts until February, when this debacle happened

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157102446080/i-looked-everywhere-my-desk-my-files-the

Tl;dr, in a conversation about how Jumin fans felt uncomfortable about a particular phone call, an anon came out of the blue to change the thread of conversation to Zen. Why is that familiar?!?

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157093746030/just-read-through-all-the-debating-about-jumin-and

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157097601850/the-breadcrumbs-call-is-outgoing-not-incoming

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157098711835/im-honestly-not-trying-to-be-so-salty-but-im

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157097035190/seven-does-make-passing-guilt-trippy-comments-in

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157112807900/to-clarify-it-was-annoying-that-the-discussion

Take note of this post and this one

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157112807900/to-clarify-it-was-annoying-that-the-discussion

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157097417010/i-just-meant-during-the-conversation-about-sevens

Same day, take note of this

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/157117392193/lj-writes-shippers-my-ship-is-totally-not

(screenshot),

plus this post from a short while earlier

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/155827891443/what-really-irked-me-more-so-than-just-the-fact

(screenshot 1)

(screenshot 2)

Same behaviours as before. Both resenting discussion of Jumin where relevant and blaming me personally for gross fandom behaviours I was not guilty of. I had statcounter data too (no longer unfortunately, as I have the free version), but anyway, I blocked the user and went on my merry way.

Note:- In case it is not clear, I was able to work out the identity of Dipshit and block them based on their historical activity, previous asks they had passed onto me (which in turn led to their tag on stats), stat counter data at the time of the debacle (data I don’t have anymore, but they remained tagged in April) and a cross reference of posts on their own blog.

Side note:- Here is Dipshit admitting to sending the anons (paragraph 4)

And again, (paragraph 2)

And again (paragraph 2)

And again

A n d a g a i n

In any case. Check out these posts from March

http://themystic-messenger.tumblr.com/post/158096675544/vallanoble-replied-to-your-post-me-i-dont

(screenshot)

, [x]

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/158933352583/the-amount-of-hate-and-aggression-towards-people

(screenshot)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/158973582463/yall-rant-and-rave-about-how-rika-abused-v-and

[x]

(screenshot)

and this one from April

http://themystic-messenger.tumblr.com/post/159234167469/i-rly-love-all-ur-posts-bc-i-agree-with-your

(screenshot here)

Once again, crucial context for what comes later.

Prior to JuminV week, I received this ask

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/159180924940/zenxv-and-zenxjumin

This question came off the back of this ask to Jun, which was liked by Dipshit anon.

https://xeraeus.tumblr.com/post/159177453126/what-i-was-asking-a-question

There is currently no evidence to tie the ask itself to Dipshit however, in light of what happened later, I am including that detail nonetheless.

On the first day of JuminV, this was posted

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159427686298/sees-zen-x-jumin-content-stop-that

(screenshot here)

followed succinctly by this ask

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/159426686395/am-i-the-only-one-annoyed-about-the-popularity-of

I made the connection to Dipshit Anon after replying. Juminzen week, as far as we know, was not in the works until after JuminV week had already started. Therefore, it’s unlikely that first message is connected to it and it was sent for a different reason.

Note:- Here is Dipshit directly admitting to sending the JuminV ask Part one, part two

In any case, since I didn’t want to start ship drama, I dismissed them?? I blocked them by IP around this point.

After I responded two more responses came, citing a disability when reading and claiming to ship JuminV over Juminzen tl;dr because it was not fetishisation. I deleted both of these messages and blocked by ip. I would not have deleted them if I had already made the later connection.

I posted to twitter at this point, joking that it was the first day of JuminV and already I’d blocked the entirety of the University of Dipshit by IP.

I posted again a short while later after checking statcounter and making the connection.

Dipshit anon’s name or URL was not mentioned. The fact that they actually studied at the university was assumed, though not confirmed nor referenced by myself the tweets were later deleted and this is to the best of my recollection

Things went quiet, but then the mod of JuminZen week started liking my tweets about Dipshit anon (which in turn made me suspicious, as we did not know one another and did not talk until May). Strange asks started arriving to other bloggers in regards to JuminZen. My statcounter traffic started to spike with visits from the university of Dipshit.

In this period I made jokes about “Dipshit anon”, based on the fact that I had blocked them by ip more than once and they persisted in viewing my blog, leaving me to redirect their individual ip addresses to rick rolls, crash safari and more. In private I also complained about them, because their actions were making me uncomfortable.

They posted this on the 14th, which later made me suspicious

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159572324383/if-someone-makes-a-jumin-x-zen-week-i-will-boycott

(screenshot here)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159700504123/wow-im-feeling-like-shit-i-want-to-die

This is what they posted on the 17th

(screenshot here)

This is definitely about me, considering everything I’ve covered so far and this paragraph

were the same person who talked about listening to survivors expressing discomfort yet you shut me down just for not liking your fave. even when i phrased things nicely and came just to discuss things you immediately responded aggressively and accused me of trying to start drama. well im sorry that i saw you discussing similar topics and thought i could come and express my feelings to you but obviously you only care about specific instances of homophobia or problematic things that occur in the fandom if they have to do with bashing ur gross fave, jumin the ultimate misogynist han

The thing I didn’t understand was why it was framed as if friends were laughing, but

#dragzenweek

#dragzenweek was established as a joke (and regardless of opinions on the matter, it was not actually tagged with Zen’s name), but Alyx reported receiving genuinely hateful comments from fans of Zen and people who hated Jumin over it. One of them was Dipshit anon, which I pointed out at the time on twitter. Alyx posted a screenshot of a post from their notifs with Dipshit Anon’s URL blanked out and I was able to identify it. I personally feel from the manner the screenshot was edited, it would not be possible to identify the user without prior knowledge. (Please don’t take my word for this, however. Here is a screenshot)

I was in contact with other friends about Dipshit anon’s behaviour and the possibility they were connected to other current dramas (at that point, I was the only person to receive an anon in regards to JuminZen who knew where it came from) both in private and otherwise. I was concerned, but did not want to spread malicious, unwarranted gossip.

It’s important to reiterate that in any given public conversation about Dipshit Anon, they were only ever referenced as such and not as any individual tumblr user. Dipshit-originally- referred to the general location of their Ip and Anon referred to the fact they had sent an anonymous message.

I spoke to Alyx about this at the time expressing concerns that Dipshit anon thought I was perhaps connected, or at the very least somehow involved with dragzen week.

On the 19th/20th April, I made a private document, detailing everything I currently knew, with links, screenshots etc (the first draft of this document). I did not want to keep repeating the story and if I was actually going to suspect this person of behaving badly, I needed proof. This document could not be liked, reblogged etc and and was only circulated privately among friends who had been in conversation about Dipshit thus far. It was a presentation of the facts as I knew them and intended to inform, leaving everyone to come to their own judgement on the matter.

Remember that at this point, beyond sending asks to Alyx and their priors with me, we did not know for sure Dipshit was connected to other dramas and without statcounter data, there was no way to actually prove it.

On the 19th of April, Alyx posted this screenshot to twitter.

At the time we joked about how this remark was actually unfair of both characters, as while it’s certainly true that Jumin can be quite mean to Zen, Zen is hardly kind to Jumin either. Neither the screenshot nor the subsequent thread were tagged JuminZen or Juzen. You would have had to have gone directly onto Alyx’s page to find it.

This coincides with the following twitter based traffic to my tumblr page.

Worth noting is that Alyx’s twitter is listed on their tumblr page, where they also received hateful messages about the week on the 20th of April,

which once again coincides with twitter based traffic from Dipshit Anon.

Considering Dipshit Anon complained on the 17th about me and my friends and then Alyx received a complaint about their hateful friends, I do not think it’s too much of a stretch to suggest a connection.

Also around the same point, off the back of sentiments from other people that someone was trying to perhaps stir bad feeling betweeen Juminzen and JuminV shippers, I commented that I knew of two potential problems in this regard, one of which was Dipshit anon who I knew for certain had sent me an ask that would have caused drama. I mentioned victim complex, by the way, as a comparison to the Juzen shippers sending asks badgering artists. I was rather suspicious that no matter how shady their behaviour, ultimately Dipshit anon would convince themselves they were doing the right thing and anyone who told them otherwise was being a bully or a homophobe, having seen such behaviour before- both from them and other fandom dramas.

Also worth noting is that my tweet was on my own personal twitter page, which is not listed anywhere and was written J*zen. It was not retweeted and no one commented on it. It would have been impossible to find without either going directly onto my page or searching Dipshit Anon.

Around the 20th, Vess confirms traffic from Dipshit anon coming through from Val’s blog. Vess continues to receive traffic from them over the next few days. This comes after a tweet expressing the belief that Dipshit anon is, in fact, more than one person. In response, I note that the messages I received (of which there were three) came from Dipshit anon, which I know for certain. I do not confirm or deny anyone else’s, however.

That same day, Gillian also questions if Dipshit Anon is making the rounds. However, I personally do not comment on that thread.

On the 21st of April, Dipshit anon posted hate directly to the Jumin Han tag because “they wanted Jumin stans to see it”

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159807410203/i-just-wanted-to-let-you-know-that-im-in-the-same

Screenshot is here

Note:- this gained a negative reaction on twitter as it broke established etiquette.

They later received an anon asking to stop sending messages.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159834049063/look-im-not-here-to-convince-you-that-jumin-has

Screenshot is here

Note: I don’t know who sent this message. Up until this point, I had complained about them for stalking my blog, sending an ask that would have created a shit ton of drama and expressed my own concerns that they might have been doing the same to other people. None of us had mentioned sending asks about Jumin outside of that one post on the 19th, which related to askZen. This was not officially connected to Dipshit Anon at the time.

They later express righteous anger at the idea of “popular” Jumin and V stans blaming them for drama

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159834850458/apparently-someone-is-going-around-sending-angry

Screenshot is here

Note:- a quick search made it quite apparent that no ‘popular’ Jumin or V stans had referenced this blogger recently. However, this post comes shortly after dipshit anon was referenced as victim complex 101 on twitter (as dipshit anon). The connection was not made until later.

Dipshit anon claims to have been harassed, without mentioning names.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159836552898/leave-me-alone-i-honestly-dont-know-what-the

Could be true, considering the Jumin post, though is not tied to that and no asks are published. Feels victimized for content they post on their own blog. Also claims not to have sent anons and only have lurked in the Zen tag, which is, frankly, untrue.

Note the phrasing: honestly how narcissistic do u have to be to think that one person who you had a disagreement with once is going around over 2 months later harassing every person who like jumin??? like??? <- this is about me

Link to Post - https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159836552898/leave-me-alone-i-honestly-dont-know-what-the

Screenshot

Note:- This message also comes off the back of me saying on twitter (not 100% seriously) that I’m almost tempted to do a call out. Also note that this mostly came from the fact that they accused us of stalking and bullying on tumblr based on out of context comments from twitter.

Dipshit anon claims that people are spreading misinformation.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159838725443/honestly-i-dont-like-people-who-blame-things-on

At this point the only information being passed around is a private document containing links to legit sources that cannot be reblogged to avoid this exact thing. References being mocked, which … this blogger has not been referenced on tumblr. Has only been mocked for their efforts as Dipshit anon. Based on things they have actually done.

Screenshot is here

Dipshit anon refuses to give receipts on behaviour and references not wanting to start drama even though they spoke about boycotting an event only recently and tagged their hate that same day.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159839414888/im-reading-ur-posts-abt-these-blogs-accusing-u-of

Screenshot is here

Dipshit anon tells another person that they have only made posts on their own blog irt Jumin, which is not true. They also say that their behaviour comes as a result of wanting their experiences as an abuse survivor to be considered. (Deleted! Screenshot available) Remember, they are not the only survivor here and they know this enough to try and use it in a vaguepost

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156210280495/honestly-im-so-glad-youre-talking-about-how

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159700504123/wow-im-feeling-like-shit-i-want-to-die

Screenshot is here

this private post was only referenced on twitter. In replies to conversations, not all of which mentioned Dipshit anon. Usernames were not mentioned. It was not posted on tumblr. Enough said. It was at this point that everyone started to suspect they were actually watching people’s twitters.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159839641293/whos-saying-its-you-whos-sending-the

Screenshot here

Demands information from the people supposedly sending them hate Deleted, I took a Screenshot

Posts this by way of a receipt (does not link actual users) Deleted, but I took a Screenshot

Note: You cannot just stumble across tweets !!! Also, the topic of conversation WAS Jumin. Dipshit got defensive after I refused to change the topic.

I would also speculate that this ask Alyx received on the 21st came from Dipshit anon, given these factors:

The timeline - having asked Alyx and knowing that ask arrived somewhere between 5am and 3pm cst on the 21st of April, which places it on the busiest period of Dipshit anon’s posts that day. Between the Jumin hate and many other of their corresponding posts

the knowledge that Dipshit anon was watching our twitters

the data that proves they were watching both Vess’ blog and mine for certain

They arrived at Vess’ blog via referral from Val’s. With this in mind and the facts above, it’s not unlikely that during this period they actually lurked everyone’s blogs.

This ask arrived during a very difficult climate when Dipshit felt particularly angry and in their own words, was stressed and emotional.

Not only that, but they themselves were on the receipt of criticism for posting hate in tags on the 21st.

I did a search of their blog for mentions of Yoosung and Unknown and they have explicitly stated a dislike for the Yooran ship (screenshot)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159453918143/mysticmessengerspambot-gah-im-tired-of

This is speculation, but considering the evidence, I believe it is fair.

On the 22nd April, Dipshit Anon sends a message to Alyx (part2)(part 3)

They send a message to Serena shortly afterwards

Here is how the conversation goes:

S: “I’m a bit confused about what it is you want me to tell you, honestly. I never thought that we were engaged in drama nor were we fighting, considering I’ve never spoken to you before.”

DA: “No, I didn’t think so either. But apparently you and some others had a post listing things I’ve done and I was really confused?? There was accusations of me sending people who liked Jumin mean asks which I didn’t do? I just wanted to clear everything up and figure out where that was coming from.”

S: “I don’t recall anyone saying that people were sending Jumin fans mean asks. Can you be more specific?”

DA: “Um, wasn’t that the entire point of what was going on though? There were tweets saying that I was sending harassment to people who like Jumin?Someone sent me a message telling me to stop sending asks to people who like Jumin which I didn’t do? And it seemed like it was from one of you guys. I could be wrong, though.”

S: “Well, I didn’t send that message, and to my knowledge none of my friends have sent you anything.”

DA: “That was the bulk of my frustration. I saw some tweets assuming that I was sending anon asks to random people about Jumin which I didn’t do, and I was overwhelmed and upset at being told I was doing something that I didn’t.”

DA: “Okay. Then what was all the hype about saying that I was harassing Jumin fans? And that there was a private post that apparently had a bunch of evidence that I did a bunch of things? I honestly was super confused on what everyone thought I did and that’s why I was upset.”

S: “Do you want to link me to a specific tweet claiming that you’re harassing Jumin fans, because I still do not recall anyone saying that.”

S: Honestly, it’s really not my responsibility to entertain you, but I’m a bit tired of this and I have exams to study for so I’m going to anyway. First of all, my friends and I aren’t a hive mind. I don’t know what it is they’re saying about you at all times, and just because they say something it doesn’t mean that I personally agree with it.

Second of all, I was referencing this ask that you sent to Louise when I referred to sending asks trying to start shit:http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/159426686395/ … I’m not interested in debating whether or not that was actually your intention; it doesn’t really matter to me because that’s the effect it would’ve had when it landed in Louise’s inbox had she chosen to reply to you seriously. And I know that you were the one who sent that ask, because of this post that you made subsequently, so don’t bother:https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159700504123/wow-im-feeling-like-shit-i-want-to-die … For some reason, you chose to pretend that her response was some sort of personal vendetta against you for disliking Jumin, even though her response has nothing to do with Jumin’s character at all and simply stated that she doesn’t want to partake in an argument that’ll cause friction with JuminZen fans. And then you did a whole lot of misconstruing by saying that she’s belittling you for your justified anger or not taking your experience as a survivor seriously, which is a very serious and untrue accusation to be making of a person who is also a survivor. Hence, my annoyance with you.

Thirdly, I posted my incredulity at the fact we’re the same age, because of your assertion that adults in the fandom are bullying you despite being an adult yourself, and despite the fact you aren’t being bullied. Getting blocked isn’t being bullied, it’s being ignored by someone who has no requirement to engage with you anyway. Fourth, it annoys me that you said you haven’t sent any asks about Jumin since months ago, when you just sent that JuminZen ask like two weeks ago, because that’s lying. This entire time you’ve remained anonymous in our discussions. We’ve literally been calling you “Dipshit anon”, and your url hasn’t been publicly revealed anywhere. None of this information is available to anyone except in our group of friends, since the post containing these and other links is private, and we’ve only been sending it through private messages to people we are friends with. The fact you decided to listen in on a conversation about things you really did and claim that having that conversation is bullying is your problem, not ours. Have a good night.

Screenshot of Dipshit Anon loading my blog one hour before I am referenced in this conversation

Before Dipshit Anon’s response, I learn that Vergil received a strange JuminZen ask and receive clarification that, while he did receive traffic from Dipshit (the location), the one in his askbox was Italian. Around this point we discuss potentially eliminating Dipshit from this particular inquiry, but also to keep an eye on them in case of future problems. I too received traffic from Italy recently.

Dipshit begins deleting posts off their blog around this point. (The final two on the list)

Vess confirms traffic from Dipshit anon

Dipshit Anon’s response 1,

, 3

, 4

, 5

, 6

, 7

, 8

, 9

, 10

, 11

, 12

, 13

, 14

, 15

, 16

Some notes:-

In regards to point 8, this person is blocked from my blog for reasons I have already explored and it is manipulative, to say the least, to complain about my reaction to them when they had no business being in my inbox in the first place.

The phrasing of point 8 actually is very manipulative in general “oh well, she doesn’t care”. My emotional labor is not for their profit, nor consumption.

Speaking of manipulative, consider the point about age. Dipshit anon repeatedly refers to themselves as a child when they are nineteen, repeatedly complains about adult bloggers and grownups being condescending and in points 8 and 9 complains about an inherently present power dynamic that I should be aware of when speaking to younger bloggers, all while sending asks on anon. I cannot feasibly guess the age of anonymous asks.

I don’t actually remember saying anything about Zen and Seven fans on my twitter or tumblr. I also cannot find anything on my twitter about this. So. Um. Receipt?

I believe that point 11 is true to an extent. I believe they probably found DragZen on the 17th and, from there, found Alyx’s tumblr. I also believe that from there they found Alyx’s twitter, which would give us something of a timeline so far. It certainly brings us to their angry post on the 17th, in any case.

It’s true that I identified them as Dipshit anon, but only after concluding that their URL was blanked out satisfactorily and only because Dipshit anon was the name I had been using from the beginning to identify the person that sent me a questionable ask and continue to load my blog afterwards.

The next part in 15 is just. Where do I begin? Even Dipshit is not sure whose anons I identified as theirs. As a matter of fact, I only identified Alyx’s. When Vess got statcounter, we compared data in the interest of accuracy (as I later did with Vergil), but none of this happened on my public twitter.

When Dipshit refers to Gillian receiving asks, I believe they are talking about this, which I did not confirm

Point 15/16 makes me really uncomfortable, for reasons I will come to at the end.

Here is them viewing my blog around about this time

S: Okay, re: everything else now.

1. All right, if you didn’t consider that ask as being about Jumin then I’m fine with setting aside the idea that you lied about it. It was personally frustrating to me because I really don’t care what asks you sent about Jumin months ago, I was annoyed by the response to Louise’s way of handling the JuminZen asks from a couple of weeks ago. It’s pretty clear by now that you probably didn’t even have that JuminZen ask in mind the entire time all of this was happening, but that’s what I was thinking of in terms of everything else I posted. I have my thoughts on how the situation could’ve been handled differently by both you and me, but at this point I don’t think it matters anymore and in the interest of resolving things let’s call it a misunderstanding and move on. I already said I don’t really want to debate whether or not that ask would actually have started drama so I’m not going to.

2. I wasn’t aware of the timing of your post was after the DragZenWeek incident and not after the ask you sent Louise, but upon re-reading it makes a lot more sense in that context and I’m sorry for making assumptions. To ease your worries, Louise wasn’t stalking your blog. She has an app called StatCounter that allows her to see where people are accessing her blog from—that’s how she put together who it was that had sent her other messages prior to the JuminZen ask, and that’s how she was able to block your IP address. By the way, she also knows you’ve been bypassing her IP block to visit her blog these last few days.

I can understand why you were stressed, honestly. I disagree with the way you do a lot of things, but I’ll readily admit that I personally made a lot of assumptions that I didn’t have a real basis for making, and I’m sorry. I stand by my statement that no one claimed you were going around and harassing Jumin fans with asks, though.

To explain my own point of view, most of what was annoying *me* was that you were conflating responses to you with disliking you for liking Jumin. I can’t speak for anyone else, obviously, but I personally could not care less if you hate Jumin. Speaking for myself here, I’ve said multiple times that although Jumin is my favourite character, I’m completely sympathetic with the reasons people would have for hating him, and I’ve also said that I would never engage in a debate over him with someone who says Jumin reminds them of past abuse because that isn’t my place to speak. Most if not all of my friends have said the same or similar, and honestly, I don’t want friends that don’t have that attitude and when I dislike someone I make it pretty damn easy to tell. But you were accusing Louise of that, which I think is especially insensitive because Louise is also a survivor, and now you’re saying that you meant for all of that to apply to Alyx too—not that you need to know this, but Alyx heavily criticizes Jumin’s route for the exact reasons that you probably would. Again, it’s a very serious thing to accuse people of being abuse apologists, especially when you don’t know the situation.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m sincerely sorry that you were hurt by my words yesterday, especially because some of the claims I was making were unfounded. Gossip is something I generally try to avoid, and I think this entire situation was a good reminder as to why I do that. I still don’t think this falls under the definition of bullying, but I do empathize with your perspective and I’m sorry for my involvement.

I’ll go back and delete any posts about this that were made by me. Here are my recommendations for you:

1. I don’t know if you have the extension XKit, but it allows you to blacklist certain words so that posts containing them don’t show up when you’re browsing tumblr, and it allows you to block posts that you dislike/don’t want to see. It’s a good tool to help you stay safe while navigating the site, and I think you should probably put Jumin’s name into it since you’ve mentioned that you find him severely upsetting.

2. Use the “anti” tags when you want to discuss character hate/critique, or don’t tag at all. It’s totally within your rights to critique a character, and using the anti tag means that anyone who chooses to interact with your post is consenting to do so knowing what they’ll be getting into. When you tag a post, you’re basically giving people permission to engage if they want to, so if you want to have a critical discussion about a character with like-minded people or people who disagree but are interested in having a discussion, that’s your way to do it. If you only want to discuss with like-minded individuals, you can throw on an “#I’m not interested in debating this” tag so people who disagree know to stay away. There’s a reason none of the DragZenWeek posts were tagged with Zen’s name and this is that reason.

3. This goes for both of us, but if you’re seeing something happening out of context, don’t assume that you know what the context is. You didn’t know what it was I was talking about when I discussed asks you sent, I didn’t know what you were talking about when you made that post (and I also assumed it was you sending the other asks, double bad on me). I don’t think I’ve anything more to say on this subject. If you do, feel free. Thank you for taking the time to contact me in spite of your social anxiety—I understand that that was hard to do and I appreciate it.

Dipshit Anon:

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate you clearing things up. I usually tag my posts with anti-Jumin, but at that time I was still emotional and defensive about things I previously mentioned, so I thought that tagging it would send a one time message to people that like Jumin to not harass survivors that feel uncomfortable with him about it. That’s all I wanted. It was a bad move on my part and I’ve gone and fixed it and I’m sorry.

I forgot to clarify these things - I didn’t think Alyx was being insensitive towards me being an abuse survivor - I made an error when constructing that sentence and it made it seem like I was including them in that statement. I just was upset because I was under the impression that they thought I was pathetic and attention seeking for my deleted post on DragZenWeek.

I can’t remember what exactly happened that made me say that thing about Louise being insensitive to abuse survivors and not liking me because I didn’t like Jumin, but that wasn’t about the JuminZen ask I sent or the previous one for February. It was something to do with her statement about me being attention seeking and seeing some responses to other people’s asks who criticized Jumin or something. I honestly can’t remember, and looking back at the post I don’t know why I said that, and I’m sorry.

I feel like a lot of this was due to misunderstandings by me and a little on the others sides and I reacted defensively and angrily to situations when I didn’t know the entire story. That just led to more statements and miscommunication on both sides and it spiraled out of control. Nevertheless, I apologize wholeheartedly and I appreciate you giving me a polite and courteous reply. I’ve been dealing with some tough stuff in real life for the past few months, including a traumatic brain injury, that’s clouded my judgement and made me more volatile and sensitive to criticism or what I misunderstand as negativity directed at me. I know that doesn’t excuse anything, but I just wanted to clarify that I’m not usually like this, and I usually keep to myself. I’m digressing, but I sincerely do apologize. I appreciate your clarification and will definitely do the the things you recommended. If you could, it would be very much appreciated if you could pass along my apology sentiments to everyone else that was involved. You don’t have to, and I’m not expecting them to forgive or unblock me or anything, I just want them to know that I am sorry and I’m usually a reasonable and nice person when not under extenuating circumstances.

Thank you again and I wish you the best.

Also - clarification about why I didn’t have Jumin’s name blacklisted - I’m on mobile Tumblr a lot, because it’s just easier for me to use because of a lot of convoluted reasons related to my learning disabilities and mental illnesses. But I do have them blacklisted on my computer, and when I’m on mobile if I see a particularly terrible hate post about Zen or a post that is praising Jumin but uses examples of Zen and why he comes up short in comparison, I’ll block that person. I usually don’t really care and avoid that stuff, but I have encountered several blogs in particular (none of which belong to you or any of your friends) that express extreme animosity towards people who say Jumin makes them uncomfortable or reminds them of past abuse. That’s kind of where that ask response was coming from. I just wanted people not to bug others who don’t like him. But it was done in the wrong way and I’m sorry. Also, I was only checking Louise’s blog because I was paranoid that she was going to post things about me and I wouldn’t be able to see them. I’m not going to do that anymore and I’m sorry.

And those blogs I mentioned that attack abuse survivors make numerous posts saying stuff like “if you say jumin made you uncomfortable I don’t like you” or “people who are triggered by jumin are the worst” and etc. Again, it wasn’t you or any of your friends, but some of those people who do that were really insensitive. I’m sorry for tagging the post though and getting y'all dragged into it.

Notes:-

There is a difference between EXPLAINING your actions where relevant and EXCUSING them. And excusing them is very much what’s happening here, given this phrasing: I’m usually a reasonable and nice person when not under extenuating circumstances.

Disability or stress or emotion is not an extenuating circumstance for accusations of abuse apologism and stalking, nor is it an extenuating circumstance for repeatedly insisting on engaging in conversation with someone who has blocked you. It’s not an extenuating circumstance for flat out lying in some cases and manipulating the facts in others. It’s not an extenuating circumstance for listening on a conversation you aren’t included in and choosing to accuse the people having the conversation of bullying instead of asking for context.

Secondly, Dipshit’s comment here: I forgot to clarify these things - I didn’t think Alyx was being insensitive towards me being an abuse survivor - I made an error when constructing that sentence and it made it seem like I was including them in that statement. I just was upset because I was under the impression that they thought I was pathetic and attention seeking for my deleted post on DragZenWeek.

Given the timeline we have so far, their post on the 17th, Alyx’s asks around that period and the traffic on my blog, I think it’s more accurate to suggest that they WERE including them and are backtracking.

Also in regards to this: I can’t remember what exactly happened that made me say that thing about Louise being insensitive to abuse survivors and not liking me because I didn’t like Jumin, but that wasn’t about the JuminZen ask I sent or the previous one for February. It was something to do with her statement about me being attention seeking and seeing some responses to other people’s asks who criticized Jumin or something. I honestly can’t remember, and looking back at the post I don’t know why I said that, and I’m sorry.

Once again, given our timeline, the fact that if I called them attention seeking at all it wasn’t until after the 19th in replies to other people and Alyx and I chatted about Jumin on twitter on the 19th, I feel it’s fair to conclude that this could be a legitimate memory blank, but it’s more likely to be backtracking.

It’s also very clearly backtracking irt: but that wasn’t about the JuminZen ask I sent or the previous one for February, when both are explicitly referenced in the post itself.

I usually don’t really care and avoid that stuff, but I have encountered several blogs in particular (none of which belong to you or any of your friends) that express extreme animosity towards people who say Jumin makes them uncomfortable or reminds them of past abuse.

This is the second (?) time they’ve angrily drawn other people into a conversation about unrelated topics and they have made posts about boycotting events, they tagged their hate only recently etc. I think it is fair to conclude from all evidence so far that they do care and they don’t avoid that stuff.

I’m on mobile Tumblr a lot, because it’s just easier for me to use because of a lot of convoluted reasons related to my learning disabilities and mental illnesses

I went back to count and Dipshit anon mentions their illnesses, injuries and more on seven separate occasions and always in the context of gaining pity, thereby shifting the power dynamics of the conversation.

Dipshit Anon remains blocked as of April 2017

As of 22nd of April 2017, they continue to load pages of my blog, despite their own statement that they would not:

Also, I was only checking Louise’s blog because I was paranoid that she was going to post things about me and I wouldn’t be able to see them. I’m not going to do that anymore and I’m sorry.

Also worth noting is that this traffic came through a t.co reference, which is the shortened url format from twitter.

In response to this, I made my tweets private again and removed the link to my blog from my twitter bio.

As of May 8th 2017, they continue to load pages of my blog.

I believe this occurred because of a reblog of this post.

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/160437244740/your-recent-reblog-made-me-realise-how-mistreated

As of the 10th of May, I receive traffic on a singular VxMC-centric fic from Dipshit (the location). This traffic recurs over several days right up until the 14th.

I do not usually receive traffic from Dipshit the location with this amount of frequency. I also knew that Dipshit the person had been browsing my blog. This put them on my radar.

On May 15th 2017, I learned of this ask on Void’s blog

http://vo-dcc.tumblr.com/post/160686201606/i-saw-you-were-one-of-the-artists-for-the-zen

(screenshot).

At the time, I had my suspicions that Dipshit might be involved and a brief check on their posts that day reveals that Dipshit did intend to submit to the fanzine.

(Link)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/160685696123/zen-fanzine-project

At approximately 9am that morning, I receive traffic from them on statcounter.

The interesting thing about this is that at first I was not entirely sure why this traffic happened. I do not reference anything about this incident on my blog until approximately midday, when I reblog Void’s answer to a second ask.

http://vo-dcc.tumblr.com/post/160688531186/the-creator-of-the-zen-fanzine-did-clarify-that

(Screenshot) (Here is the time stamp of when I actually reblogged it)

From 8.30am onwards, Void and I were talking privately about the situation, at which point (a little before this conversation)

Void referenced typing out a long post, which likely became the one they later posted. (Having chatted to Void, they later confirmed that it was in fact, already posted by the time of that screen.) This creates something of a potential timeline of Dipshit seeing the post shortly after it was posted and following through to my blog shortly afterwards. (Note: I believe I was not the only one to receive this treatment, but I’ll get to that later)

In any case. I asked Void to check if they were blocked by Dipshit and it later transpired that they were.

I encouraged Void to get Statcounter, we compared notes and here is a full compilation of all traffic

from

Dipshit received within the first day of installation. (Pls note that the date is different because of time zones. I live in Britain and for me these times are in the evening of the 15th. US people would be even further back in the day)

Here is a screen of Dipshit later admitting to sending both asks covered so far to Void

Note that I said I was not the only person whose blog potentially received attention from Dipshit as a result of Void’s posts. I believe that Dipshit actually went through the blogs of several people who either commented or expressed support for Void over the course of those few hours spanning from when they first received an ask to the 9am response.

This would not only fall in line with current evidence at hand, but also their actions in April.

Exhibit a

, exhibit b

, and exhibit c

(link)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/160688548033/lmao-i-just-found-out-that-this-gross-person-who

(I’m coming back to this one later)

Also take note of this reblog by user setthestarsxonfire.

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160686536882/i-saw-you-were-one-of-the-artists-for-the-zen

(Screenshot)

They made a post a short time afterwards, further going into their feelings on the matter

(link)

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160687270552/please-guys-dont-go-hating-on-another-person

Afterwards, they received three asks (ask a,

ask b

and c

) (link to a,

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160689487552/juzen-is-an-abusive-ship-its-unhealthy-and

link to b

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160690376012/oh-my-gooooodddd-did-you-just-say-that-zen-needs

, link to c

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160691061357/i-only-replied-to-part-of-your-response-because)

When reviewing statcounter data, it’s clear that Dipshit reviews the #notes of posts and flits from one blog to another.

While this was happening, I was in conversation with user mariamagica, having seen them comment on Void’s post that they knew who was sending the anons. Considering that this was the same person who had liked my tweet about Dipshit Anon way back in April, I was curious to know what they knew and if we had any shared experiences.

It transpired that Dipshit was so well known to them and had caused them so much bother that they were able to reference them by name within a matter of seconds. They sent me this screenshot sent to the askbox of the Juminzen week blog.

Mariamagica had them blocked, but I encouraged them to get statcounter and here is their Dipshit traffic from the 15th.

A short time after this, Vess and Jun confirm that Dipshit followed them that same day.

Dipshit continues to lurk my blog.

Having gone over the events of the day, I made a post at 18:46 my time. This is a soft warning and a pre-emptive call out. Up until this point I had not said anything about Dipshit anon publicly on my tumblr, but I was running increasingly low on patience. I blocked them in February and kept the details to myself at the time, but they continued. In April, we resolved it peacefully but they continued. At this point they were on strike three.

In my post, I listed three examples of asks from Dipshit.

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/160701054230/attn-mysme-fandom

These were all examples I could confidently attribute to Dipshit and as it gained so many reblogs, I gained

lot of traffic

from Dipshit

in that period.

This traffic extends to my personal blog

I received an ask

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/160703102265/hi-im-not-looking-to-start-drama-and-am-here-on

(screenshot, including timestamp of receipt)

-Dipshit on my blog in that exact same time frame? Check

-Not my ask but trying to pull the high ground with me about it anyway? Check

-“Please consider the abuse victims!!1″ To a survivor? Check.

-Sending a really questionable anon in general? Check.

After my response saying that if I received any more messages I would reply with their URL, Serena got a message from Dipshit, complaining that I should apologise to their friend

for blaming them for things Dipshit had done.

This earns the biggest of sighs and rolliest of eyes from me and there are hundreds of things I could say about it, such as the sheer unlikeliness of a random mysme blogger I have never heard of before (and incidentally never blocked) showing up to send me an ask with the precise same objections as Dipshit while Dipshit is on my blog, all while having no involvement with what Dipshit is doing. Even Dipshit acknowledged they were friends and went so far as to link their Zen centric blog.

They later post the following screens to their blog, which confirm that they sent these

asks to Stars and encouraged another person to send more: 1

Also. This is what a receipt for blocking looks like.

However, if a chat is what’s going these days, here’s a chat

between the mods of JuminZen week

discussing whether or not to block

Dipshit, drafting a response and discovering they were already blocked,

as forwarded to me by mariamagica <3

I’m especially interested by the use of the word “demonise”. Demonise only makes sense in terms of me addressing Dipshit and publishing their URL, neither of which have anything to do with their friend…who up until that message was anonymous in this conversation.

User setthestarxonfire also receives two

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160705202992/hi-there-i-just-wanted-to-check-aside-from-any

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160706326042/thanks-for-your-kind-response-and-for-being-so

asks about this in much the same vein with identical phrasing. (screenshot one) (screenshot two)

You may recall I referenced user capitolscum. That is the personal of mmscum, who I was also in touch with at this time. Through the reblogs of my Attn:-Mysme fandom post, I became aware that they too had received strange anons.

As it happened, Scum had received three anonymous asks. One

, Two

and Three

(Links: One, Two and Three)

https://mmscum.tumblr.com/post/160542799049/you-should-read-jealous-wolf-by

https://mmscum.tumblr.com/post/160544142294/i-meant-what-isnt-his-its-a-little-odd-to-say

https://mmscum.tumblr.com/post/160556930029/anonhave-you-read-either-of-those-fics-if-you

This prompted the following essay:- 1,

10,

11,

Which corresponded with this review on AO3 (Please zoom)

This coincides with this ask

and this response from Scum (part one and two)

It also prompted this chat (part one)(part two)

I’m including this chat for the sole reason that this is how Dipshit described it post call out

It’s unclear what exact fic Dipshit is referring to, though Scum believes the comment they’re referring to is this one, on a fic exploring Zen’s recovery as a survivor of a traumatic incident prior to the first chapter.

There’s also this post

https://mmscum.tumblr.com/post/160144676634/i-love-my-followers-but-this-is-the-first-time

addressing negativity in fandom (screenshot here),

to which Dipshit anon responded twice (one, two)

(links)

http://mmscum.tumblr.com/tagged/vallanoble

I’m including this for the sheer ridiculousness of the fact that it happened two weeks ago and shows them discouraging their own behaviour.

Scum, post callout, received this review on the same fic

Considering both the linguistical patterns and the complaints both matched Dipshit, we did a bit of investigating and if this is a coincidence it’s a very unfortunate one.

And now we arrive at the 16th of May.

Void gets notifications from Dipshit

and their reaction

speaks for itself.

Remember this?

Void is 17. Younger than Dipshit and a minor.

I have

multiple visits

from

Dipshit that day (Is it worth me even saying it at this point? Whatever)

Here is Mariamagica’s traffic for that day (All of the ones from the university are Dipshit)

17th of May, today!

Dipshit

is active

on my blog and Void’s

(The one blacked out the most.)

Scum passes on their statcounter data to me and Dipshit is not only a visitor

but recently went through the notes of this post

http://mmscum.tumblr.com/post/160736788924/mmscum-mmscum-i-love-my-followers-but-this-is

which somewhat ironically was partially inspired by their actions.

Considering this fact and the fact that they visit my blog in the wake of this reblog

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/160765050395/fandom-commandments

(statcounter)

their subsequent blog post becomes slightly more interesting.

(Screenshot one)

(Screenshot two)

(link to post)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/160777864913/if-your-let-people-ship-what-they-want-uwu

It’s past midnight now and I’m about to go to bed. I have only one thing to say on this matter, however.

The adage that the internet is not your safe space is not a suggestion that it should not be safe. It means that the internet is not the safe place of any individual person. It belongs to all of us and there is going to be opinions, ships, characters etc you do not like personally. But it is NO ONE’s job to keep you safe but your own. It’s nobody else’s responsibility to write characters as you see them. It’s no one else’s job to keep the content you don’t like off your radar or create the content that you do. There’s no justification for treating real people badly over fictional things.

A few other notes post call out:-

Dipshit remains blocked. Here is a screenshot of a message they sent to me the day after I posted the call out (part one)

(part two)

from a new blog designed to collect receipts (this is not hyperbole: screen shot one

and two

). This blog has since been deleted.

I am not a shipper of Juzen and so bad behaviour within the community is not something I would know of immediately or in much depth, however:

Dipshit considers an anti Juzen week to educate the homophobic women who ship it.

This is an interesting one, as it coincides with the appearance of the blog juzenisgross, which specifically posted excerpts from Why does he do that (a book about abusive relationships and domestic violence) in the juzen tags on the first day of juzen week.

This is a loose thread on its own. However. This is the time stamp of the first post on the blog.

This is Dipshit on my blog.

Once again, possibly coincidence, but incredibly unfortunate if so.

Here is Dipshit continuing to send lengthy messages to content creators 1,

along with her refusal to blacklist tags

#mystic messenger #mysme #abuse tw

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