#for the last like threeE months

[prodagustd]

plan a | myg

Summary: After not seeing Yoongi for almost threee weeks, last night he showed up drunk at your doorstep and begged you to listen to him one last time.

this is part five of so it goes: series masterlist

< part four final part >

—pairing: rapper!yoongi x reader

—rating: +18

—genre: friends with benefits (kind of? they're in love) to lovers, angst, fluff, smut aaaa

—warnings/tags: cursing, mentions of alcohol consumption as a coping mechanism, emotional constipation, short smut scene, unprotected sex, dirty talk etcetc

—words: 8.5k

a/note: HIIII friends!!! its been so long since a posted a full part of this series, this chapter was going to be much much longer but I decided to cut it in half and let this part sink in. I wanna thank all of the love songs that helped me write this chapter and all of you for waiting for me!!! As always, feedback is very appreciated :)

Change didn’t have to be drastic.

You remembered Yoongi’s words from a few months ago while you tried to keep your eyes open in the darkness of Nayeon’s room. 

There was something you had to remind yourself during these last three weeks, the same thing you were trying to recall at that moment: you didn’t need Yoongi. It was true, you didn’t physically need him, you weren’t an extension of him, you were your own person. But on the other hand, you were in love with him, and you wanted him oh, so badly. The last displeasure that your heart could bear was feeling a certain burning in your chest when you realized that you had gotten used to him.

You grew used to the warmth of his chest when he fell asleep next to you, his humming when he was cooking, the cold of his pale hands and the way he sneaked them under your shirt to keep them warm. The number of mornings you'd spent talking in bed without wanting to get up had been too many not to miss the strands of his hair in your hands. The amount of his expressions that you had memorized were enough to get you used to him, so one day when you woke up and he wasn’t pressed to your back and his arms weren’t wrapped around your body, you realized that change, this time, was drastic. 

Well, this was bad, but mostly awkward. Were those the consequences of your actions? You had always seen Yoongi as a collected person, he never overreacted, he always thought twice before acting, so when Jungkook posted that picture with Taehyung you never imagined that he was going to come and look for you, too drunk to even stand on his feet. Yes, you hoped for a text, maybe another call, but in the first place, the plan was bound to go wrong; If he had called or texted you, what would you have done? And if you had answered, what would you have said?

Yoongi didn’t call or text, instead, he came here and vomited all his words on the floor of your living room, you didn’t know what was worse. You felt so stupid when you realized that you weren’t ready to see him, you were planning to avoid Yoongi for the rest of your life if that meant that you didn’t have to talk to him ever again about this, but now he was right across the hallway, sleeping on your bed just like every other day, and if you held your breath long enough, you swore you could hear him breathing. It was like he fell asleep the instant his head touched the pillow, meanwhile you couldn’t sleep the whole night thinking of him on his knees, saying that he missed you. 

You turned your head to the left and stared at the closed blinds. You saw a little bit of light coming through them, indicating to you that it was time to get up and take a shower long enough to put your thoughts in line and decide what you were going to do. 

On the other side of the hallway, Yoongi stirred in bed and fought to come back to sleep, but the headache that hit him when he opened his eyes prevented him from it immediately. He hugged the pillow close to his chest as he let out a muffled curse. He had washed the sheets twice since you left, yet they still smell like your shampoo. 

It was a matter of time until Yoongi realized that those weren’t his sheets, that was not his bed and that was not his bedroom. The memory of last night fell like a bucket of cold water over his head, reminding him of what he did and what he said. He tried to open his eyes again and saw that he was under your lilac covers, hugging one of your pillows thinking it was you. But you weren’t in his arms, he could hear the sound of the shower coming from the bathroom.

What. Had. He. Done?

It was not difficult to figure out, he had fucked up, again. 

As drunk as he was, it was easy to remember everything he said and the fact that you didn't like it one bit. The image of your face the night before was presented in his memory as if it were a sentence, he could tell you were angry and he could tell this was bad. 

The reason why it had taken so long to come looking for you had been simple, he didn't know how to do it. Many times he had thought of talking to Jungkook and asking him how he should make the first move since he was your best friend, but he remembered what Namjoon said, Jungkook took your side, and the more he thought about it, the more he realized he was on his own. 

Being on his own didn't always mean a bad thing, in this situation it might have meant that he had to take responsibility for his own actions, to be a man and face his mistakes. But in case it wasn't already obvious, things had gone wrong, he hurt you (again). 

After a few minutes he noticed you were taking too long in the shower, he knew you were trying to avoid him as much as possible. 

He tried not to startle when he heard the door of the bathroom being opened, followed by the sound of your dragged feet and low murmuring. Scared for his life, he decided to do what any brave man would do, pretend to be asleep until you come looking for him.

You wrapped a towel around your head and put on the same pink pajamas you were wearing last night, slowly gathering enough courage to look him in the eye. It was okay, you reminded yourself, it was just Yoongi, the same Yoongi who fell on his knees and made a fool of himself last night.

When you finally decided to confront him, you found him lying on your bed shirtless. You looked down to your feet and found the black shirt he was wearing last night, you grabbed it and threw it over his head, making him jump in his place. “I know you’re not sleeping.” You said. He quickly sat straight, wasting no time in dressing up again. 

“I was.” He argued with a raspy voice.

You hummed in response. “Yeah, sure.”

Crossing your arms over your chest, you observed him rub his face with his palms, clearly hungover. His eyes were red and tired from the lack of sleep, even from the point you were standing you could tell he still smelled horribly like beer. He raised his head and looked at you like a lost puppy, but you didn’t have time to pity him, he was the one who decided to get drunk and come here. 

For a moment he thought how funny you looked with the towel on your head, but the expression on your face said nothing of the sort. “Don’t look at me like that.” You warned him. 

Yoongi had a feeling you weren’t going to be nice to him today. 

“You are angry at me.” He confirmed. 

“Should I not be?” You scoffed, “You are an adult, Yoongi, and yet you behaved like a child last night.” 

Strong start, he thought. 

You weren’t angry like, I’m mad because you ruined my notes angry. You were angry like, you made me cry and then you showed up drunk at my doorstep angry.

“I know I did, but-” He tried to explain, but you were quick to interrupt him. 

“No, I don’t think you know.” You paused. He shutted his mouth, not daring to say another word. He was beginning to understand how this conversation would go. “Have you, for just a second, stopped and asked yourself how I would feel when I saw that you came looking for me?”

You waited for him to answer, but Yoongi’s heart skipped a beat.

“I was drunk.” Was the only thing he could manage to say.

“So that’s a no.” You said, feeling your words stacking up your throat, ready to vomit them. “Well, it wasn’t nice, that much I can say.” 

Yoongi kept silent, scrambling on his head to find the right words to say, he didn’t want to say something wrong and have you get angrier at him, but you seemed to know exactly what you wanted to say, you even practiced in the shower.

“I couldn’t sleep last night.” You continued to say “I keep doubting if I should just tell you to leave, I didn’t know if this is the right thing anymore”

“Do you want to do that?” He asked, his voice was barely heard. Yoongi knew he couldn’t blame you if you suddenly decided that you didn’t want to speak to him anymore, he knew it was fair, he could only hope you wouldn’t do it. That was the thing about you, you had certain kindness in your heart that would never allow you to do that, Yoongi thought it was too much kindness sometimes, and he deserved none of it. 

You took a seat next to him on the bed, turning your back at him. “I was not sure.” You answered, clasping your hands on your lap “I keep thinking about everything you said. It was not fair, Yoongi. It’s not like we don’t know each other, you didn’t just hurt me, you broke my heart.”

Yoongi suddenly felt his blood pressure drop, his soul leaving his body within an instant. That was not what he expected to hear. That was the only thing you needed to say for him to finally feel like a complete asshole, but he had it coming; a stake through his heart for breaking yours. 

Then, he started stumbling with his own words “That was not-It wasn’t… I didn’t mean to do that-” 

“Then what was it?” You asked, turning your head to look him in the eye. “I just want you to be honest with me.” He felt uncomfortable under your piercing gaze, feeling hostage of your eyes and his own mistakes, feeling hostage of the fact that he had broken your heart. 

At that point, he was already a ball of nerves, his hands were sweating and his throat was dry —maybe that was just the hangover—. He tried to run away from you for three weeks, now he knew he couldn’t escape anymore. He was the one who decided to do this anyway, when he was very drunk and completely consumed by his feelings in the darkness of his bedroom. There was no plan B, plan A was just to tell the truth. 

And how fucking hard was to tell the truth. 

Yoongi sighed, “I made a mistake.” He admitted “Countless mistakes, actually. Starting from the top, I lied to you, I said a bunch of bullshit just because I was scared… I’m sorry, this whole thing terrifies me.”

You cocked your head to the side, looking for another kind of explanation in his eyes, but his gaze was fixed on his hands, unable to even steal a glance towards you. “Why?” You asked “I mean, why were you scared? I’m not… I would never hurt you.” Your voice came out as a whisper, low enough to make Yoongi’s heart clench in torment, he couldn’t help but hate himself for making you feel like you were the one to blame.

He filled his lungs with air and exhaled, thinking of a proper way of articulating his next words. Any kind of confidence the beer had helped him build the night before was gone the moment you decided to look him in the eye. Your eyes were two pools of sadness and he couldn’t do anything about it, it was wrong to even consider touching you, so he stayed in his place, holding his beating heart in his fist.

“That never crossed my mind.” He said “But I didn't know if I was willing to take the risk of you being with me and then finding out I'm not… worth it.” 

You shook your head, as if you were trying to ward off any kind of empathy for the situation. Yes, he was hurt, but you couldn't ignore what he did to you. “What made you think that?” You murmured.

“Well, I’ve been told.” He tried to joke, chuckling nervously. 

Silence followed his words. There was no need for Yoongi to explain that, you already knew. You had millions of questions regarding the ex girlfriend topic, but it was a line that you didn’t know if it was okay to cross. 

Yoongi had told you that Dasom was the cousin of Jin’s girlfriend, Jin was a long time friend of his and at some point in his early twenties, his friend introduced her to him. Yoongi had told you she was not easy to deal with, she was rude and unapologetic, but Yoongi never talked about her like she was a bitch, he always talked like he just forgot the good things about her. 

“I’m not her, Yoongi.” You dared to say, making him shift his eyes to yours. 

He sighed “That I’ve been told as well, but it seems that my mind doesn’t understand that.”

You could feel offended by that, but you needed to understand him first. “So… What does your mind think about me?” You asked, your voice came almost timid, making Yoongi’s skin crawl. The question seemed silly, but you were serious. 

Yoongi is reminded that you wanted him to be honest with you, but the question was a bit tricky. The answer sounded selfish in his head, he was sure it sounded the same way out loud. 

“It says… that you didn’t like waiting for me.” He confessed. You raised your eyebrows in surprise, just a second ago Yoongi sensed that you were starting to become less angry, but now he was afraid that you would slap him in the face. 

You turned your body to his, crossing your arms over your chest. You still looked funny with your pink pajamas and the towel over your head, but your face looked angry and upset. Yoongi would have laughed if he hadn't screwed it up so much. “It was a lot more complex than that.” You said, raising your voice like you were about to scold him, just like the night before “I told you I waited for you many times, but when I saw that nothing was changing I started to get tired. You told me you wanted me, then you said a bunch of bullshit and then  you came looking for me. You can’t throw me away and come pick me up again three weeks later.” Yoongi sat quiet on his place, swallowing all of his words “I waited for you, but at the end of the day I feel fucking stupid for doing it.”

He couldn’t help but feel that no matter what he said, he was wrong and you were right, and the worst part is that it wasn’t too far from that. 

“I’m sorry-” He choked out.

“You already said that.” You cut him. Yoongi couldn’t help but scoff. 

“I’m trying to apologize.”

“Then do it.” You spat, pointing one finger to his chest. Yoongi felt like you just made a hole on his shirt. 

He took a moment to organize his speech, you could see in his face how much he was struggling not to fuck up again, his hands hugged each other, his thumb strongly pressing over his knuckles “Fine, alright. This is not me… excusing myself, okay? I just want to explain everything.”

He looked at you and he suddenly realized both of your knees were touching, but you didn't move away. He looked for confirmation in your eyes, but you just nodded, signing him to keep talking. “The other day I told you I can’t make any promises, some part of me still feels that way, but the other part of me knows that I’m just scared. That doesn’t make it okay, I know… And you’re right, I acted like a child and not just yesterday, that night too. I said horrible things to you but I need you to know that they weren’t true and that I was completely wrong. This, whatever it is, it wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault, it just happened. I’m sorry for making you feel like it was a bad thing.” 

You felt a bit guilty when you watched him fighting to find the right words. You knew how difficult it was for Yoongi to express himself, if he was there trying to explain himself it had to mean something, right? You wanted to believe that, but you didn’t know when to let your guard down. 

“The other night you said that you know that Dasom broke my heart but it wasn’t broken just for her, it was broken for my family, my mom, my brother and the friends that walked away because I put her first. I’m sorry for waiting so long to tell you this,” He continued to say “I wasn’t sure how to do it. I know it’s pathetic, I had to get drunk to be numb enough in case you didn’t want me anymore. I had to lie to you to protect myself and that was the last thing I ended up doing. I know you, I know you preferred to avoid me but I couldn’t bear it anymore. I’m sorry, I really am sorry for all of this, I’m sorry for pushing you away and I’m sorry for breaking your heart just because I was scared, and selfish, and fucking dumb. I was terrified of coming here and have to admit that I’m a coward.”

“Yoongi…” You spoke, rushing to stop him. 

He just ignored you. “No, I mean, you were right that night. I treated you like you were crazy or something and then I wanted to fix everything, but I needed to think. I needed all this time, I don’t know if it’s too late, but I just couldn’t help but wonder, what if you decide to stay with me and then two months later you realize that it fucking sucks?”

Now it’s your turn to be left completely speechless. You thought there was going to be no place to feel bad for him, but you did anyway. That was naturally you, showing empathy in situations where other people would have just turned their backs. And this was Yoongi you were talking to, you understood his heart was broken too, you would have been an alien if your heart didn’t break just a little from seeing him so nervous. 

His question was about an impossible scenario, you wondered how his mind came up with that. 

“What would it suck?” You questioned, because it was the only thing you could do.

“Wouldn’t it?” He laughed, rubbing the palms of his hands on his face “You think about it all the time, I know you do, we’re different. I don’t like waking up early like you, I don’t know how to take care of plants. I’m an aries venus and you’re a taurus venus.” You blinked, his last comment making you scoff. He stopped abruptly to look at you to verify if you were really laughing at him. “I’m not joking.” He said, shaking his head “I’m going on tour in a few months and you still have to graduate. You said it yourself, we’re not compatible. What if you wake up one day and you realize it was just… sex?”

You snapped a glare at him “Is that the impression you have of me?”

“God, no. That’s not what I mean.” He rushed to say “This is the thing, I see the kind of girl you are and my mind tricks me into thinking you would never want me.”

You frowned “Like I’m too blinded by… your dick and that it doesn’t allow me to see that you’re actually a bad guy?”

Well, Namjoon was right when he told Yoongi that you were going to understand him just fine. 

“No? I don’t know, maybe a certain part of it. Maybe you’re too good to see that I’m not going to make you happy.”

You looked around, wanting to burst into laughter for some reason. Yoongi noticed that the expression on your face finally softened, but you can’t utter a word yet. 

“I…” You sighed, “First of all, it was never just about the sex, are you kidding me?” You murmured “We shared things together, even if we’re different, I don’t care how different we are, I actually like the things that set us apart.”

Yoongi felt his heart softening. 

“What do you mean?”

“Uh… You know, if it wasn’t for you I would still be too caught up in the routine, you make it different. Last month we were planning a trip to the beach and we had to wait for summer, I was waiting for that. I waited for a lot of things, sometimes I thought I was being too obvious.” 

“Like when?” He asked curiously. 

“Like when I told you I missed you after not seeing you for two weeks.” You answered. “Or when I said that you didn’t have to be jealous because I wanted you, that kind of stuff. I was saving your seat the whole time, didn’t you realize?”

Yoongi blinked, feeling once again like a dick. He was aware of the amount of times that you hinted how much you wanted him, but his mind worked in a strange way, you were kind to every single person you knew, why would Yoongi be different? He was so inconspicuous among the people you loved that he thought he would never be able to have a stable place in your heart. He saw you gave a piece of it to every single person you met, but he wanted it whole. He wanted you whole, not just pieces. 

“I baked you cupcakes for your birthday.” You said, bringing him out the loophole of his mind. 

“You didn’t.” He reminded you. 

“I bought you cupcakes for your birthday.” You corrected yourself “Chocolate cupcakes, with frosting on top, and they were the most expensive. I paid good money for them and I wouldn’t have done that for everyone.”

“What about Nayeon? Or Jungkook?” He asked, suddenly feeling more confident to get closer to you. 

“I would have done that for them too, because they are special to me.” You said “I even thought of not doing that for you because I was afraid that you would realize…” Your voice became small at the end of your sentence, Yoongi’s heart shook in his chest like it was defrosting after all these weeks. 

“That I would realize what?” He dared to ask, a smirk tugging from the corner of his lips. 

“I’m still angry at you, don’t make me say it.” You warned. 

The tension in the room eased, but he believed you. You were still angry at him, he didn’t know how long you were going to be angry, but he knew he could wait for that time to come. He moved closer to you, testing if it was okay to approach you. You stayed in your place, observing his every move, waiting for his next step.

“I wasn’t lying on Nayeon’s birthday.” He breathed out. 

“Weren’t you?” You whispered. His proximity made your stomach flip like it was the first time he was this close to you, it made you incredibly anxious. A sudden spark appeared in your eyes, it felt like a punch in Yoongi’s guts. 

“I wasn’t.” He confirmed. “You’re the only one I want.”

You hissed, taking a moment to think about it a little bit longer. “You want me” You said. “But… Do you trust me?” 

“Trust you?” He repeated, a confused expression marked his face. 

“Yes…” You affirmed “Is it okay to ask if it would be possible to not think of your past when you see me and just… trust me?” You paused for a second, letting him take your words one by one. 

He seemed taken aback, he surely didn’t expect that question, it didn’t even cross his mind. 

“Trust you in… what?” He questioned, feeling smaller under your gaze. 

“In everything.” You explained, “I understand what you’re feeling and I don’t want to sound like I’m pressuring you to do something, but if you want me I need you to trust me that I want you too, that I think that you’re a good guy and that I’m not going to leave, even if we’re different, even if your mind tells you that.”

Yoongi was not sure of anything lately, these past few weeks seemed like a blur to him, gaps filled with music and work, the sound of his phone notifying him of a hundred missed calls, sadness and anger and Namjoon coming to visit him and putting him to sleep by the end of the night. They were filled with you and the sound of your voice that echoed in every corner of his apartment, and the image of your body under his and that damn video he recorded before flying to Japan, the smell of your shampoo on his sheets and the unbearable memory of you crying because he had hurt you. He was not sure of almost anything, just that he fucked up, but he knew he wanted to trust you with all his might. 

Yoongi didn’t know what to say, or maybe he did but he didn’t know how to. There were certain feelings or words that he would never allow himself to say out loud, like when you think of something hurtful but you don’t say it out loud because you know it’s bad, it was the same with love. When he thought about how in love he was with you, he never planned on telling you because he thought that sooner or later the love he had for you would hurt you. 

You seemed to have changed his mind, but how should he say it?

He thought this was not the time for burying his words or saving them for another day, so he just told you.

“I made you a song the other day.” He confessed, taking you by surprise. You looked at him wide-eyed, observing him leaning his back against the wall and his shoulders drop “I started writing it one night but I couldn’t finish doing it, so I just did the music and it was done in three days, but when I had to continue with the lyrics I realized I didn’t want to finish it.”

“A song?” You asked, he nodded in confirmation “About what?”

“A goodbye song.” He murmured “I was very drunk, very sad, but it made me think, I really didn’t want to write you a goodbye song, I wanted to write you a love song, I never made one of those. So I had a plan, I needed to make things right before making you a love song.” 

You couldn't ignore your heart fluttering, no part of your body seemed to be under your control anymore. “This was your plan?” You managed to ask, scared that he might hear how loud your heart was beating against your chest.

“Of course this wasn’t my plan.” He groaned, covering his face with his hands. “This was… plan b.” 

“Very effective.” You laughed “I’m guessing plan a was a bit difficult, then. What was it?”

“To tell you that I love you.” He breathed out “A lot, too much. So much that everyone noticed it before me, so much that it made me act like an idiot.” You felt your heart skip a beat, the tip of your fingers and your whole body tickling. It was almost embarrassing how weak you became when you were with Yoongi, you tried hard to put on a bad face and call him on his shit, but the second you saw his eyes full of regret the tiny you begged you to forgive him, to ease his pain with a kiss on the forehead, and now this? If this had been more like a fight, he would have already won twice. 

The look on his eyes tore apart your soul, but he continued to talk regardless.

“Being in love with you terrifies me because everytime I see you I see a nice person, and yes, you make me want to be a better person too, but what if I can’t?”

“You are a good person already…” You murmured. 

“Well, I do want to trust you and I do want to believe you, but I’m not easy, baby. I have never been easy.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes and turning your whole body to him, grabbing his face between your two hands and bringing him closer to you. You startled him, leaving him speechless. 

“You’re too…” You said between gritted teeth. 

“Too?” He whispered. 

“Stubborn.” You spat. “I’ve been seeing you for almost nine months, I think I learned a thing or two about you. I know you, Yoongi, there’s no need for you to make a powerpoint introduction of all your insecurities and why I should not be with you because of them.” 

“Are you sure?” He asked, you managed to steal a smirk from him. “I was about to take out my laptop.”

“I’m not kidding!” You exclaimed, squeezing his cheeks even more. “I’ve been saving you a seat for too long, it’s time for you to realize that I’m in love with you, and love doesn’t come with warnings. I’m a big girl, I know what I’m doing.”

Yoongi shut his eyes close “You’re so corny…” He whined. 

“Shut up!” You said, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him closer to kiss his lips. You kissed him roughly, fast and almost desperate. He caught your waist with both hands and pressed you against his chest, not willing to let you go. Yoongi knew you weren’t wearing any lip gloss that morning, but he swore he could taste the strawberry on your lips.

Somehow, your heart sighed in relief, and his did too. Even if you didn’t know if everything was completely alright, you felt like it was fine for now.

You pulled back, trying to catch a breath, but with the aim of asking only one thing  “But since when?” You uttered. 

A bright and big smile was plastered on his face, he didn’t want to answer that, but to keep such a detail away from you felt almost like a crime, he knew you would insist. 

“There’s this one time,” He said, “when we went to that party with Jungkook and I wanted to go home. I didn’t tell you because you were having fun but you just knew, you brought me here and we drank tea. In the kitchen bin I saw a pregnancy test and you told me that Nayeon had to take it that morning but it came negative.” He said, listing the events of that night. 

You laughed about the accuracy of his description, clearly remembering the gossip session. “I remember that.” 

“Yeah, that was it. I think I felt it before I knew about it, and then I tried to deny it.” He said, there was a certain regret that filtered in his voice.

You squished his face between your palms. “It’s okay now, you don’t have to deny it.”

“I know.” He nodded, pressing his lips together like it was yet hard for him to believe such a thing. Old habits die hard after all. 

“And I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’m not anyone else, I’m just me, and I love you.”

Yoongi almost saw hearts forming in the color of your eyes, looking at him with the love of the whole word encapsulated in just a glance. For the first time in weeks, he felt relieved. “You’re just you.” He said. “Thank God, then.”

When he tried to approach you to kiss you again, you grabbed him by his shoulders and stopped him. “Stop, you smell horrible. You can’t kiss me again until you take a shower and brush your teeth.”

“Why are you ruining this moment? You are mean.” He complained but obeyed anyway, getting up from the bed. He shook his head in disapproval and began to wander your room in search of a set of clean clothes, finding some old shirts that you never returned to him and a pair of boxers. Just like that, Yoongi was back in your room like it was part of it from the start. 

He left to take a shower, leaving you on the bed waiting for him.  

After a few minutes you heard the shower stop and the sound of the curtain being opened, followed by Yoongi’s voice calling your name, which immediately caught your attention; Yoongi almost never called you by your name, for some reason he was used to call you by pet names or just the word baby, so when you heard every syllable of your name being yelled from the bathroom, you headed towards it. 

Behind the door was Yoongi already wearing his clean clothes, his wet hair falling like a curtain over his confused face. “I can’t find my toothbrush.” He explained. You blinked, remembering that there was no such a thing as Yoongi’s toothbrush in your home anymore, but didn’t say anything, letting him draw his own conclusions. Yoongi understood within an instant, squinting his eyes at you and pointing at you with his finger. “You threw it away!” He accused you. 

“Of course I threw it away.” You said with no shame whatsoever “And you should be grateful that I did because Nayeon wanted to keep it to use it on a spell to curse you.”

Yoongi frowned “Curse me?” He asked. You nodded without hesitation. “To kill me?”

You snorted. “No? So your dick wouldn’t get hard for a year.” You corrected as you looked for another toothbrush on one of the drawers. You found a pink one that you haven’t used yet and handed it to him. He grabbed it, but looked at you with horror in his eyes. 

It sounded like a joke, but Nayeon was very serious about it. She said that her aunt tried it with her husband when he cheated on her but didn’t know if it worked. She insisted and said that you didn’t lose anything by trying, but you said no ultimately, not because you had mercy on Yoongi, but because it terrified you to do such a thing alone and then doing it wrong, afraid of summoning an entity and having it chase you forever. 

Nayeon offered to pay a witch to do it instead, but there was no way you were going to spend money on cursing Yoongi’s dick. 

“I guess she doesn’t like me very much right now.” Yoongi said, putting toothpaste on the toothbrush and beginning his task. 

“She is not your biggest fan.” You pouted, patting him on the back and turning around to leave him alone in the bathroom now that your mission was over. 

As you were laying in bed waiting for him, you felt the lack of sleep slowly catching you, making you struggle to keep your eyes open, but he didn’t delay too much, coming back to bed to hug your waist and rest his head on your shoulder, burying his nose on your neck. Now he smelled nice, like soap, shampoo and toothpaste. 

“I have a question.” He murmured against your skin “About last night.”

“What?” You said, turning your head to him. 

Yoongi took a second to formulate the sentence. “Mmm… Were you on a double date?”

You wanted to laugh, but you couldn’t. For no reason at all you would allow Jungkook’s plan to be revealed, it was a secret that you must take to your grave. If Yoongi ever found out about it, he would laugh about you and never, under no circumstance, let you forget it. So no, you won’t ever admit it. 

“That wasn’t a double date.” You said, trying to play it cool. 

“That looked like a double date to me.” 

“How so?” 

“Jungkook was with Bora, they are a couple, and you were with…” He tried to explain, but Taehyung’s name got stuck on his throat.

“Taehyung?” You said, finishing the sentence for him.

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever his name is.”

“Taehyung.” You repeated. Yoongi scrunched his nose like the sound of your new friend’s name was making his teeth hurt. “He's a friend of Bora, and it wasn’t a double date, that was just me hanging out with friends.”

There was not a happy look on Yoongi’s face “So he’s your friend now?”

“Maybe? I met him yesterday and he’s a really nice guy.” 

“Okay, I don’t want to hear more of that.” He shook his head, coming back to rest his head on your shoulder as you laughed. 

“More of what?” You questioned “I don’t think I owe you any kind of explanation.” 

Yoongi didn’t know if he wanted an explanation, in fact he would have preferred to be hit by a train rather than imagine you laughing with another guy the way you did with him. But you were right, you didn’t owe him an explanation, which made Yoongi insides twist. Yes, you forgave him; yes, you said you loved him, but you needed him to be clear, maybe just for the sake of torturing him, but he didn’t care as long as it was you doing it. 

“You can stop being mean with me.” He said, making you laugh harder. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you from now on if you keep being like this.”

“I don’t know.” You snuggled closer to him, if that was even possible “What are you going to do with me?” You teased him, there was a flirty tone in your voice but Yoongi didn’t hear it quite clearly, he was feeling absolutely defeated. He knew this wasn’t it, this wasn’t the end of his sleepless nights overtaken by nightmares and the sound of Dasom’s voice asking him to leave, but he preferred to think this was more like a beginning, and you were right there, looking at him with eyes full of love. You didn’t seem like you were about to leave. 

“That depends on if you’re still mad at me.” He wanted to know, just in case.

You pretended to think about it. “Mmm… No, I don’t think so. I’m happy right now.” You confessed. “But don’t make me angry again.” 

“Fine, I won’t, but I want to make sure, you know? Before someone gets ahead of me and asks you first.” He said, trying to sound unbothered. “Would you be my… Girlfriend?” He asked, the question coming out of his mouth uncomfortably, making one of your brows crease.

“Why do you say it like that?” You questioned. Yoongi groaned, annoyed. He was dumb if he thought you were going to go easy on him.

“Like what?”

“Like it’s a weird word.” You kept going. 

“Because it’s a silly question!” He admitted. 

“You’re digging your own grave, Yoongi. May I remind you there’s a long line of hot guys wanting to make me their girlfriend?” You tried to push him away, but he grabbed your waist tightly, keeping you pressed against him. “And yet you’re here saying it’s a silly question? I expected a declaration of love.”

He squinted his eyes at you, remembering what Namjoon said the night he came to his house to visit him, “You managed to make a girl like that stay with you and you let her go?”. You were the prettiest and smartest girl he knew, and even if you were joking he knew there were probably plenty of guys like Kevin who hoped you forgot about him just to give them a chance. 

“I did declare you my love.” He justified himself “I even tried to kneel for you last night.”

“That was not a declaration of love, that was embarrassing.” You said.

He frowned “You’re so rude, honestly. There’s a line of girls waiting to be my girlfriends too, you know?” He tried to joke, but you just turned around, turning your back to him. 

“Fine.” You said bitterly “Go ask them, see if they can stand you.” 

Yoongi started to laugh then, wrapping his arms around your torso and squeezing you. “I’m joking.” He said, but you just groaned.  You felt one of his hands coming to your cheek and turning your face to his, kissing your lips softly. “C’mon, baby, let me make you my girlfriend once for all.” He whispered “I didn’t care about the line of girls, anyway. I just want you, I always wanted just you.” 

His words made your cheeks turn red pathetically, you felt your face getting hotter and your heart fluttering inside your chest. 

“You’re so cute.” You said, turning around again and grabbing his cheeks just to kiss him again “Of course I’ll be your girlfriend, what took you so long?” 

Yoongi sighed. “Don’t remind me.” 

There was a beat of silence in the room where you pulled him closer to your body and curled your legs to make space for him so he wouldn't fall of the bed, Yoongi took the opportunity to fall asleep in your arms and you followed him shortly after, feeling like you were sleeping on a cloud. 

It would be hard for Yoongi not to remind himself what he did or what he said, maybe he would still have to deal with some confusing thoughts in the next months, maybe he would still wake up in the middle of the night after replaying some ugly memory from the past, but he wanted to make sure that you were going to be there sleeping next to him just like that morning, he wanted to trust that your smile would be enough for him to forget about it just for a minute, he could handle the rest of his demons himself. 

The following morning Yoongi kissed you goodbye because he had to check up on Holly, but he promised to come back the next day. Only when you were alone you texted Jungkook, who called you immediately when he read that his plan had worked, he had put you on speaker so Bora could hear that he was right, Yoongi had indeed come to your apartment to look for you because he thought you were on a date. You had explained to him that Yoongi was drunk and if it weren’t for that, he wouldn’t have come, but Jungkook refused to listen to you take all the credit away from him, he was a mastermind (he was not). 

You remembered that you owed Taehyung a text as well with an update of the situation, but you were disappointed when you found out that his luck wasn’t the same as yours. Taehyung insisted that it was okay and that he expected it anyway, but you still wished his heart could have a relief. 

On the other hand, you did not say a word to Nayeon and asked Jungkook not to mention it to her either. Yoongi was lucky that she wasn’t here last night because she would have punched him on the face and then sent him home walking, so considering that you knew you had to think a way of telling her that from one day to another Yoongi was suddenly your boyfriend, that he had come and apologized and told you he loved you, and worse, you had to tell her that you forgave him and that you told him that you loved him too. 

You didn’t seem too worried though, two days later you began to forget that Nayeon was supposed to come back that night. It started with the afternoon rain and then, Yoongi’s classic plan to watch a movie on the couch, except for the fact that you weren’t going to watch that movie, you figured that out before him.

In your defense, you were in a haze. You were feeling like a teenager from the moment he came back, he walked through the door and greeted you like he just came back from the war, lifting you in the air and kissing you against the wall. You had an undeniable attraction for each other’s bodies, even though he had missed more than that, he missed you in every way. He missed the way you buried your nose on the skin of his neck, he had missed your soft kisses, your bad jokes and the way you bickered with him, but that afternoon it was impossible to ignore the elephant in the room, and you had missed him as much as he missed you. 

When you wanted to look back, you already had taken his shirt off, your pajama shorts were already gone and it was already too late to stop when he decided to rid up your shirt, telling you to keep it there up your chest to kiss your breast as he pushed your panties aside to bury himself between your legs. 

In the past weeks there had been no time to even think about sex, only then, under a fuzzy blanket and under Yoongi’s body, you realized how much you missed him in that way. 

He thrusted in and out of you, burying his face on the crook of your neck and whispering non stop how much he missed you. 

There was no point in hiding that you missed him too. You had missed the way he kissed your neck and whispered bold words in your ear, you had missed his hands on every part of your body, you had missed the way he commanded you and the look of satisfaction on his face when you obeyed him.

Maybe the worst (or best) part of Yoongi was that he knew exactly how to take advantage of you, he knew exactly what to say to make you crumble apart under him. He used sweet words and showered you in praises, he kissed, bit and sucked your neck until he left a mark, he pulled your hair and made you look him straight in the eye as he drilled in and out your pussy. 

“Didn’t you miss this, baby?” He asked, starting to thrust particularly hard this time. “Missed having my cock this deep inside you?” He continued to ask, voice airy and almost crazed. He felt like he was fucking you for the first time, hearing your sweet moans and seeing your tits bounce in front of his face like the first time. You moaned in response and nodded repeatedly, shutting your eyes close when you felt one of his hands traveling up your chest to roll one of your nipples between his fingers. “You’re so good, baby, being a good girl and taking me so well. You deserve to cum all over my cock, do you want that, baby?”

You clenched your walls around his cock, making it obvious how much it turned you on the way he was talking. “Y-yes, please.” You begged, too over the edge not to “Please, please, don’t stop.”

He scoffed, leaning forward to kiss your open mouth, moaning in your mouth as he slipped his tongue past your lips without further warning. “Mmm, I’m not stopping until I fill you up.” He said, making you let out a loud whine when he gripped your thigh to try to fuck you deeper. He quickly noticed that he had found that sweet spot of yours that made you cry and whine, milking his cock like the good girl you were. Just the thought of his cum dripping down your cunt was making him go crazy, but neither of you realized that time was ticking.  

To start, Yoongi didn’t really like quickies, he was planning to fuck you all night until all you could remember was his name and the feeling between your legs as he pounded inside you, it was the only thing he could think of as the room began to be filled with the sound of your high pitched moans and your hips crashing with each other. That, and the fact that both of you were completely gone were the reason why neither of you heard the sound of the keys or the door opening. You could only get out of the trance when you heard a loud scream in the middle of the living room and the sound of Nayeon cursing as he ran to his bedroom.

Fuck. 

Nayeon had come back.

Yoongi stopped dead in his tracks the second he heard your friend, but she already saw and heard enough. Removing himself from inside you abruptly, he looked at you with the most horrified look on his face, asking for an explanation. 

It was certainly not the first time that Nayeon had heard some suspicious activity, but she had never seen anything of the sort, and Yoongi was never the kind to be careful of not being caught, but this time was different. Nayeon hated Yoongi for what he did to you, so he was trying to avoid being seen by her, he knew that now she probably wanted to eat him alive. 

You helped yourself sit straight by grabbing his shoulders, a shiver ran down your spine “I forgot.” You said in the tiniest whisper he could ever have heard. Any trace of your climax was gone in just a second, your big eyes shined with worry in the darkness of the living room as your face quickly became as red as a tomato, Yoongi thought you were about to start crying of embarrassment. 

“You’re kidding.” He wanted to laugh, but he knew better than making you angry at that moment. Instead, he helped you to put back on your shorts. 

“This is your fault!” You whined, pulling up his boxers and pushing him out of your way. 

“How is this my fault?” He complained “You were the one screaming for my-” 

Did Nayeon hear that?

You wanted to cry.

“Shut up!” You cut him, getting up and shaking your head in denial. “I’m gonna… Talk to her.”

“Yup, you should do that.” He agreed, picking up his shirt from the floor. 

“You should hide in my room.” You ordered him.

“Hide?” He questioned, already dressed. “I’m gonna need to take a cold shower after that.”

You rolled your eyes. 

“If you get out of my room before I finish talking to her I’m never touching your dick again.” You warned.

Then, Yoongi’s smile was whipped out of his face. He nodded, following you towards the hallway to hide in your room like you asked. 

taglist: @rvelvett @kimseokjinbangtan @minmin2022 @minvlush @bids97 @cowboylikevicky @jiimtaee @jjkmspace @localmoonchild @youre-on-your-ownkid @tarahardcore @kookstempo @yoongimentita7 @jwlmnbt @almosttoopizza @floriiansgrave @damn-u-min-yoongi @starbtslove @bastard--bunny @pelicanpizza @deliciouslydisturbed365 @g0lden-sunset @side-effectss @iwishselena @rosquilleta @funsizemarsbar92 @cosmiclatte-world @miss-jupiter @linosluna

#fic: so it goes #fic: plan a #yoongi x reader #yoongi one shot #min yoongi fanfic #yoongi fanfiction #yoongi fanfic #min yoongi x oc #min yoongi one shot #min yoongi x reader #yoongi x oc #bts x reader #bts au #yoongi au #suga x reader #suga x oc #suga fanfiction #suga fanfic

[jawbreakervault]

An article by Linda Simensky on Ed, Edd n' Eddy, published in the summer 1999 edition of Take One magazine. Full issue here. Transcript under the cut.

One day in 1996, I got a fax at the Atlanta head office of the Cartoon Network where I am vice president of original animation. It was from Vancouver animator Danny Antonucci. Danny had sent me a drawing of threee goofy looking guys, with the title Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy, and the tagline: "They're friends because they have the same name." "What do you think?" he wrote. Hilarious, I remember thinking. I remembered that back in 1974, I used to hang out with two girls in my neighbourhood, Linda J. and Linda V. We didn't have much in common other than living in the same neighbourhood and having the same name. I immediately identified with the concept and series as a whole.

Well, actually there were several more steps before that last part happened but they were easy. I showed the fax to Mike Lazzo, the senior vice president of programming and production at the Cartoon Network, and he laughed. "Can we see more? Is there a bible?" he asked. The series bible came through by fax, a few pages at a time, over a period of the next few months. After an affirmative response from Betty Cohen, the president of the Caroon Network, the legal paperwork and deal making began. Not long after, a start-up meeting was held poolside at Chateau Marmont, the one moment of Hollywood glamoue we'd experience. "How soon can you have it ready?" asked the general manager and I watched Danny's eyebrows go up. Thus the Sisyphean task of producing the series began. Up to that point, the Cartoon Network had only produced shows through Hanna-Barbera in Los Angeles. Even shorts that were produced in smaller studios in other cities were produced through Hanna-Barbera. This would be the first show to be produced outside that system and the first to report directly to the Cartoon Network. The fate of our working with independant studios rested with this show. Nothing like a little pressure! In addition, every series we had done had started with a seven-minute short, but this time we were so sure we were on the right track that we jumped right in to serious production.

At that point in time, the Cartoon Network had been putting a great deal of effort into finding properties that weren't just animated sitcoms but were actually cartoons. Visually eyepopping, gag-laden, character-driven and most importantly, funny. Those were our cartoon goals. We were also trying to produce the cartoons by setting up units which would be creator-driven and self-contained. The old Warner Bros. "Termite Terrace" was our model since, as far as we were concerned, that's how the best cartoons were made. In the mid-1990s, Hanna-Barbera produced a series of 48 cartoons. The Cartoon Network went into series production on three of those shorts: Dexter's Laboratory, Cow and Chicken, and Johnny Bravo. We were in development on our next show, Powerpuff Girls, with the Dexter unit, and were starting to put several other projects into development, when we decided the Eds should have their own series.

Antonucci's earlier projects had made him a household name among animators. Lupo the Butcher, his animated short from the lates 1980s was, to some degree, the South Park of its time. I can remember a tape of Lupobeing passed around the office back in 1988, as people told each other, "You got to see this!" A few years later, in 1994, Antonucci started up his own studio, a.ka. Cartoon, in Vancouver to produce his show The Brothers Grunt for MTV. Following that, he spent the next few years doing commercials, promos, network IDs and the opening for MTV's Cartoon Sushi.

He decided to remain in Vancouver and expand his studio to accommodate series production. After working out of a small, five-person studio, a.k.a. Cartoon moved into a loft in the Gastown section of Vancouver and began hiring a full staff to work on the first 13 episodes. Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy is the story of three best friends bound by the same name, gawky social graces and an overwhelming desire to fit in. The series takes place during summer vacation, as the Eds search the cul-de-sac where they live for adventure, acceptance and money to buy candy. Ed is into monster movies and model kits. Edd is the really smart, really quiet and the unnatrually polite one. Eddy is the ringleadrer who loves being the centre of attention. The Eds are driven by their constant quest for cash, mostly for buying jawbreakers.

Their schemes -- childhood ventures -- optimistic profit margins -- and oddball twists.

The other neighbourhood kids round out the stories. Sarah is Ed's whiny younger sister. Rolf is the first-generation immigrant of unknown origin who eats strange things and has a pet goat. Jimmy prefers hanging out with Sarah and finds the Eds too rough. Kevin, the neighbourhood cynic, finds the Eds' ideas stupid. Nazz is the neighbourhood heatthrob and the mysterious Jonny 2x4 has a best friend that is a wooden board named Plank. Rounding out the cast are the neighbourhood bullies, the dreaded Kanker Sisters. The characters are loosely based on Danny's two sons, assorted friends and people he's known throughout his life.

Each half-hour episode is comprised of two, 11-minute cartoons. Typical episodes range from the Eds crashing Nazz's sprinkler party, to dealing with cycles of fads that blow through the cul-de-sac, to Sarah's newfound crush on Edd. Each cartoon is produced "the old-fashioned way" to guarantee the maximum number of laughs. Danny works with the story editor/head writer Jono Howard and a few other writers to generate the story ideas. Each writer then produces one-to-two page outlines with the beats of the story. The outline is handed to two storyboard artists who work out the actions and the gags. The storyboards remain up on the wall for the big pitch, at which point the artists pitch the storyboard to Danny and everyone else in the studio. The receptionist, the accountant and any visitors that day are all included in the pitch audience. The gags and beats that get laughs are keepers. The ones that fall flat get feedback or are reconsidered.

Season one, which premiered January 1999, is doing remarkably well in the ratings. Every now and then the Cartoon Network produces a show that has an impact on popular culture or day-to-day life. Recently, a journalist in Tallahasse, Fla., wrote a column in his local newspaper about his search for the huge jawbreakers his kids saw on Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy. In the April 19 issue of People magazine, in the crossword puzzle, the clue for #45 down was the cartoon show, Ed, ___ 'n' Eddy. Fan Web sites are starting to spring up.

The show has started to appear in other countries via international cartoon networks. A second season has already been ordered for a November 1999 broadcast date. Apparently, puberty is as international as it is unforgiving. Will the Eds ever be shown in their own backyard? Will Canadians ever get to see the "Canadian Squirt Gun" episode in season two? Probably. While Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy will hopefully be acquired for air on one of the Canadian cable channels, for now you will have to rely on tapes from friends in the United States.

#interviews

[videostak]

henry cow legend cd came today tho i fell asleeeeeep while listening to it T-T and woke up during like last 3 songs. its been awhile since ive done that where i put an album on and fall sleep thru it >_< tho im def gonna listen to it regularly thru out this month along w/ bjork vespertine, janet jackson rhythm nation aaand a fourth album probaly. the way my brain works usually makes me just wanna chill and listen to like 4 or so albums at a time but rn ive only had the urge to listen to those threee. but like idk theyll def be a 4th

[minimuii]

So like - Whenever I’m too busy to consume new media and hyperfixate on it as I usually do, my older cherished hyperfixations come in and carry me through the extended work time, which is lovely, because they are my beloveds, and I absolutely love thinking about them

however -

this is a problem because suddenly my brain really wants to draw something for them, and god, they deserve it, and !! I’m finally in the right headspace to do it- but - I never g e t to because this only happens when I’m way too busy

#HHHHHHH #actual torture #is this relatable ?? like idk tbh #muii things #I just oh my god I wanna draw coraline and portal fanart rn s O b AD #for the last like threeE months #but nO I gotta finish my film #I gottaaaaa #the httyd rtte series is keeping me slightly less insane but like... now I also wanna draw hiccup??? #;nnn; #LIKE ALL MY MOST FAVORTIE THINGS NEVER GET FANART BECUASE OF THIS #AND I WANNA GIVE IT TO THEM SO BAAAAD #remember when I drew portal art?? y’all have no idea how hapoy it made me to make that #I need to make more stat

[parasitoidism]

ANOTHER TF2 UPDATE THIS IS CRAZY

#3 THREEE IN THE LAST 30 days #July is the month of tf2 i am telling you IM SAYING THIS #AND they fixed the mic spam and the cosmetic removing and it looks like the thing where the bots leave when a votes called and come back #and they updated the localization files LETS GOOO

[xthesparequeen-a]

UPDATE ON ME!

Hey everyone! I just want to take a moment and thank each and every one of you for your patience and understanding during my absence. And now that the source of my anxiety is over, I feel like you guys deserve an explanation as to why I’ve been gone and why I’ve been so stressed out. 

Everything about this is below, feel free to read if you’d like. For now I’m trying to ease myself back into character after having been away from my muse for so long so please be a bit more patient with me. I’m thinking about scrapping all of my threads (save for a few) and starting fresh but we’ll see.

So I will try and summarize this as best as a can as I don’t want to get into every little detail that happened, otherwise this would be a novel.

In short; I was asked to be the maid of honor for someone I barely know.

The bride was a cast member in my company and claimed that I was her best friend though we rarely ever hung out outside of work. My two best friends, who are also cast members, agreed to be bridemaids when she asked though neither of them EVER hung out with her outside of work. Honestly, all threee of us were flabbergasted we were asked at all. But we agreed having no idea what hell was in store for us.

There were two other bridemaids added to the mix who were complete nightmares. Trying to plan for someone you don’t know well is already hard enough and then add two other people who you don’t know at all that headbutt you with every decision you make was absolutely exhausting. You say black, they say white. I could give you a million examples but we’d be here all day. Luckily my two best friends backed me up every step of the way. If it weren’t for them, I would have backed out of this wedding all together.

Also it was becoming more and more clear that the bride did not consider me her maid of honor. Anything she wanted planned? She told her other bridemaid. Any decision? The bride asked the other bridemaid. It was evident that this other bridemaid was her true best friend. OH! And did I mention that this bride already got married LAST YEAR at her dream venue and invited the one other bridemaid, her male best friend and close family. Where as I didn’t even know until she did a zoom call and told the rest of the bridemaids and myself. Yup. The maid of honor and so called best friend wasn’t even invited let alone knew what was going on.

It was becoming apparent that I was only asked to be maid of honor because I had the money and skills to plan the “perfect bridal shower and bachelorette party” for her. She expected me to pay almost $900 because she invited 25+ people to the bridal shower which meant I had to get a venue to fit them all. So I did because I figured this would be my wedding present to her. How many people showed up? 15, including the bridal party. Which meant there was no need to pay all that money. I was furious. 

And during the wedding? I was told to get there last. I was constantly shut out. I even tried to talk to the bride to which I was ignored. Same went for my two best friends. So we all, after I gave a short speech at the reception, left.

This whole ordeal took a far worse toll on my mental and emotional health than 2020 ever could. These past few months have been hell and I’ve gone to pretty dark places, to which I told the bride and she turned it around on herself, completely ignoring my feelings for her own. It has been absolute hell for me. I had spent so many nights in tears over the stress of all of this and feeling like my friendship was being used and abused.

BUT, I finally reached the end of the tunnel this past weekend and the wedding is OVER! I am done. I never have to deal with the stress and anxiety of all this again. So currently I am focused on self healing because I feel relieved but drained.

So again, I thank each and every one of you for sticking by me and a special thanks to @adversitybloomed​ and @norringtxn​ whom I’ve been venting to on Discord about all this and have helped support me along the way. I still have a long road ahead but at least the worst has past.

#tag // ooc; #tw: vent #tw: depression #tw: suicide

[upslapmeal]

Revolution of the Daleks

Can you believe Spyfall was just one year ago? Yeah neither.

a long time ago in a galaxy far far away....

ok Chibbs no need to remind us how long ago 2019 feels we know

ah glad to see the Big Onscreen Place Names haven’t gone anywhere

and now I wish I’d actually rewatched Resolution

you should have gone to a service station for your tea mate

how did they know he would stop at the lone tea and burgers stall anyway

eyy it’s Misfits guy

(who I’m sure has been in many other things)

water pistol dalek

well I guess even daleks have to face being replaced by a robot one day

“You built this yourself?” “Yes well I was inspired by all the times daleks have invaded London”

Chibbs’ DW is definitely a Serious Drama™️ in the way that RTD’s was soap and Moffat’s was......Moffat

I do genuinely wonder if kids enjoy/follow the more Serious Drama™️ bits

but come on Chibbs give us FUN give us RIDICULOUS

FINALLY the Doctor

hi Angela the weeping angel

I would have expected Angela to be imprisoned with some sort of watching eye to stop her moving

OH WHY

IT’S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE A WEEPING ANGEL JUMPSCARE I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING

I wonder what that specific weeping angel did to make it worse than all the other weeping angels and deserving of space jail

yikes what happened to the peaceful ood

I see that the pting is in jail to atone for war crimes

The Doctor in jail feels a week bit ~when will my prince rescue me~

idk I feel as though I would have expected the Doctor to be trying to get out

I guess she’s using it as thinking time re: the whole timeless child jazz

did nobody ever notice the TARDIS house magically appearing on top of what I presume must have been some park overnight?

Detective Yaz

spider guy spider guy commits crimes a spider can

which unsurprisingly include tax fraud

Jack!

hiding things up his arse again, good to see nothing’s changed

THIRTEEN GOT A HUG

FINALLY

“we live in uncertain times” oh boy did Chibbs not know how hard that would hit when he wrote it

ey back with the human dalek puppets

“I had a suite with a cocktail lounge” I love knowing that this must have been during Nine’s time

“they took 7000 other offences into consideration” you were saying about Jack committing crimes to break you out, Doc?

“it’s been a tough few decades” yeah I know we’ve all had a rough 2020 you ain’t special

warm greeting from Graham - “you what?”

confrontational Yaz!

man genuine companion/Doctor conflict is something that has really been missing during Chibbs’ era

shame about the costume change though, Jack was right about it suiting her

Rose mention <3 </3

though Jack I think you’re giving the Doctor a wee bit too much credit with the whole immortality thing

interesting seeing Yaz choose to follow the investigation with Jack over sticking with the Doctor

“Being with the Doctor you don’t get to choose when it stops” unless you are absolute legend Martha Jones

I’m really enjoying this Yaz/Jack conversation

the sonic blaster!

.....when did that one dalek get a chance to start a clone farm in Japan???

loving Ryan and the Doc getting a proper conversation and how it differs from Yaz’s with Jack in how the 10 months has affected them

though let’s be honest 10 months is far from the worst the Doctor has done

“same Doctor, same Ryan, nothing’s changed” something something Ryan should have had a better arc something

this speech about change feels like something the Doctor would usually give to a companion

tbh Ryan things like purchase order numbers were bugging me too so I gotta side with knockoff Trump here

Doc if they managed to build a giant cloning facility from across the world then I’m sure they are very capable of getting to their casings

man I must have missed the daleks when I went through passport control this morning

“first the cyberdudes, now the daleks, no alien ship is safe from us two bad boys” 🤜🏻 “stop taking weird Graham” 👍🏿

Gwen Cooper <3

Ryan :’(

hug twooo

Graham :’(

hug threee

a bit of a weird exit since I’m sad to see them go but still feel as though I barely know them

especially Ryan

idk for their last episode I feel as though though the two of them should have had a lot more focus in the plot

got to do something big

hopefully we’ll still see them around, even if they’re not travelling

the benefit of this is we get more time rounding out Yaz as a character

Ryan and Graham, off you go to save the world

Grace :’(

Well as an episode this was perfectly enjoyable and it was good fun having Jack back but MAN if those two exits didn’t hit home how there’s just been something missing with the companions this era - let’s see how it goes next series when it’s just Thirteen and Yaz...and Dan Dan Companion Man.

#have they even started filming s13 yet? it feels a very looong way off... #revolution of the daleks #doctor who #thirteenth doctor #captain jack harkness #yaz khan #ryan sinclair #graham o'brien #dw #dw spoilers #ramblings

[seagreen-meets-grey]

The Last Slide: Ch. 3

@feeisamarshmallow dun dun dunnn number threee

Read on ao3

_______________

Chapters: 1 2 3 4

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There was a bounce in her step as Amy walked away, leaving Jake to finish his paperwork. When Holt had given her the green light to work the water park murder case with Jake, she saw the slight twitch around the corners of his mouth and noticed that the parting nod he gave when he dismissed her from his office was just a little bit slower and more significant than usual. This was a personal gift to her for the many years she’d worked for and bonded with him.

Then the mere excitement in her husband’s eyes as she told him about the case added an extra layer of levity to her enthusiasm. Seeing him so happy never failed to make her smile and believe that the world was inherently good, despite the people who shot poisoned darts into someone’s neck at the water park.

And just after noon, when business at the apartment would be done, they’d leave to work their last case together, at least while working at the same precinct. It should have made her sad, knowing it would soon be over, but the thing was, it would not be over. She was still going to see everyone from the precinct regularly, Jake obviously the most. It didn’t feel like a real goodbye as long as she only switched locations. Her new precinct wasn’t even that far away, close enough to meet up for lunch.

(Maybe she was a little bit in denial about everything, but she’d find that out soon enough anyway. For now, gloomy wasn’t a real word in Amy Santiago’s vocabulary.)

Humming contentedly to herself, she entered the women’s bathroom – and did a double-take at the juxtaposition of a familiar leather jacket and the red-rimmed eyes staring at her wide-eyed through the mirror.

“Rosa?” she exclaimed in surprise. “Are you… crying?”

“No,” Rosa sniffed in a gruff reply. “I’m allergic.” When she turned around to face Amy, an understanding passed between the women. Rosa knew that Amy knew that allergies weren’t involved in the detective crying in the women’s bathroom at work. Especially after Rosa had come in late this morning.

“Do you want to talk about those allergies?”

“No.” Rosa pulled a pair of sunglasses from her pocket and put them on to hide the red eyes, brushing past Amy to the door. On the threshold, however, she hesitated, then tilted her head at Amy without looking at her directly. “I know you’re not going to leave this alone, so… If you want to help me with these allergies, be at my place tonight at eight.”

Then she left, head held high, and Amy felt a second wave of giddy excitement wash over her. A few years back, Rosa would have left without a word – well, except for the threat to ruin Amy’s life if she ever mentioned those allergies to anyone. Now Rosa was one of her best friends and Amy knew that she felt the same about her. Whatever was going on with her sleuth sister, they were going to take care of it together. Because that’s what friends did.

(Part of Amy hoped the reason for her sleuth sister’s turmoil wasn’t just Rosa’s favorite motorcycle being too old for full repairs or something, although she’d take even that seriously if Rosa felt this passionate about it.)

(Because that’s what friends did.)

***

Of all the things Amy expected when entering Rosa’s apartment that night, it wasn’t a miniature tiger dashing behind the couch the moment it spotted her.

“Wait,” Amy said as she took off her jacket, “was that…?”

“Her name is Tigress. She’s been living behind the dumpster outside for the last three weeks. She killed the rats; I gave her food.”

“Oh. So, you have a cat now?”

Rosa crossed her arms and leaned against the kitchen counter, a grim look on her face. “Tigress decided so, but then I saw a flyer for a missing cat and I’m sure it’s her. Also, pets aren’t allowed in the building. Naturally, I’m thinking about moving and just taking her with me.”

Amy peaked behind the couch. The cat was sitting there in the shadows, cleaning her gray-striped fur. Upon noticing the curious human eyes invading her privacy, Tigress hissed at her and crawled underneath the couch.

“She hates people,” Rosa explained. “We understand each other.”

“But now you have to give her back to her owner.”

Rosa grunted in reply and Amy didn’t acknowledge the heartbroken look on her face. “I don’t want to get into it right now, but… I just don’t like goodbyes when I don’t want to say them. It’s so…”

The word weak ghosted around the room, tailed by human. But if Rosa didn’t want to talk about feelings right now, there was no reason to prod. It would only lead to the night ending prematurely.

Amy walked over and carefully extended a hand, putting it on Rosa’s arm once she’d made no attempt to hiss at her or crawl underneath the couch and– yeah, Amy could guess why this cat was the perfect fit for Rosa.

“Besides, Arlo wouldn’t like smelling cat on me.”

“Arlo?” Amy frowned in confusion for a moment until she remembered. “Oh right, your dog that you never bring.” (Not that Amy would have seen much of him anyway, what with her own allergies closing up her throat and turning her eyes into puffy seas of tears within seconds.) “Wait, where is he anyway if you’re not allowed to keep pets here?”

Rosa shrugged. “Guarding my second apartment.”

“Your second– You know what, never mind.” A secret apartment really didn’t surprise her. “How can I be of help? Do you want me to accompany you to the shelter to pick out a new cat?” Even as she said it, she figured that wasn’t Rosa’s plan.

“I don’t want a replacement cat.” Rosa glanced over at the pair of glowing eyes watching them from out of their hiding spot. “I’d like you to come with me to return Tigress. I don’t want to do it alone.”

Amy felt a surge of sympathy for Rosa Diaz asking for emotional support without a lot of preamble. (And maybe a fair bit of pride at being the one the tough woman felt safe to confide in.)

“Of course.” She gave her friend’s arm a little squeeze. “Anything.”

“Thanks, Amy. Now stop touching me and help me catch the cat.”

***

The second surprise of the night came in the form of Tigress’ owner.

As Amy held the cat carrier that Rosa had bought at the nearest pet smart when they realized the cat was too fast and unwilling to stay in either their arms for longer than five seconds, Rosa knocked on the door to Rebecca Erickson’s apartment.

At first, Amy thought the woman’s last name to be a coincidence. It was possible, after all, to encounter two unrelated people with the same last name within one day in New York City.

But when Mrs. Erickson insisted that she was no longer a Mrs. since she left her husband a few months ago, Amy saw the probability dwindling that this woman wasn’t the ex-wife of the pool attendant she and Jake had met earlier that day. She decided to not mention Darius or anything related to the Pearson murder.

She was so lost in thought that she didn’t notice the fourth person in the apartment until she heard a soft curse from the direction of what she assumed was the bedroom.

She also barely took note of the general messiness of the place, starting with the array of empty coffee cups on a heavily stained couch table, or the bookshelves where cookbooks lay on top of fantasy novels and at least half the books stood upside-down, or the bowl of fruits where apples were lying right next to bananas, or the overturned basket of – as far as she could tell – both clean and dirty laundry next to the bedroom door.

And standing there, clad in a hastily overthrown bathrobe, was none other than Sam Kirkwell, head of Tropic Thunder Aqua Park. When he realized that Amy had noticed him, he quickly disappeared behind the door.

Why was Kirkwell here, she wondered with furrowed brows, with his employee’s ex-wife, the same day her supposed lover had been killed?

She barely heard Rosa talking to Ms. Erickson, too occupied with contemplating following Kirkwell into the bedroom to question him. But before she could come to a decision, Tigress – whose actual name was Bubblegum, much to Rosa’s dismay – escaped through the open window onto the fire escape. Ms. Erickson rushed to the window to scream after her but, naturally, the cat didn’t listen to the crazy woman yelling at her from the place she’d just escaped.

Ms. Erickson, now in a frantic hurry to go after her pet, pushed Amy and Rosa out of the door and left them in the hallway while dashing down the stairs, her voice echoing back up to them. “Bubblegum! Mommy’s coming for you!”

“What do you bet the cat turns up back in my dumpster later?” Rosa asked, a hint of smug amusement coating her voice, when they exited the building.

“Yeah, totally…”

“Santiago, did you even hear what I just said?”

“Huh?”

Rosa stood in front of her, stopping her in her tracks. “What’s going on?”

Amy frowned in thought and fished her phone from her pocket. “Did you see the man hiding in the other room upstairs?”

“The half-naked guy? I bet that’s her surrogate pet.”

“He’s the head of the water park where Jake and I are investigating a murder.”

Rosa shrugged. “Turns out NYC isn’t that big after all. Why, what’s got you so suspicious about this?”

Amy explained it to her while dialing Jake’s number. She couldn’t wait to get home, she needed to tell him now. If he hadn’t already picked up Mac from Karen and Roger’s place, they could still go back upstairs and talk to Kirkwell.

She let it ring for twenty seconds but Jake didn’t pick up. Maybe he was driving, maybe he was busy with Mac, maybe his phone was dead again – no, it couldn’t be, otherwise she’d have instantly reached his voice mailbox. She opened their messages to shoot him a quick text to call her back ASAP, but before she could press send, something struck her as odd.

“What is it?” Rosa asked, having noticed the look on Amy’s face.

“Jake hasn’t been online for over two hours.”

“Huh.” Rosa looked at the screen. “He’s not with Mac?”

Amy shook her head right as a message from Karen came in, asking when they’d be picking up their son. For anyone knowing her husband, him not being on his phone for this long on a regular weekday night when he was neither working nor spending time with his family was a little odd. Not impossible, but odd.

(If this were Gina, Amy would be very concerned.)

“He’s probably still at the old apartment,” she guessed. “I’ll go there and tell him about Kirkwell directly.”

“Do you want me to come with?”

“If you want company right now, of course.”

Rosa scrunched up her face in contemplation for a moment. “Nah, I’m good. I’ll just spend some time with Arlo.”

“At your secret apartment?” Amy grinned conspiratorially but Rosa took a step closer until they were almost nose to nose, putting on her threatening face.

“Tell anyone about that and I’ll disorganize every single one of your binders.”

Amy gulped. “Got it.”

Rosa drove them back to her place where Amy’s car was parked. As Amy was waving goodbye from behind the wheel, Rosa pointed at the alley next to her building. Sure enough, a gray little tiger was slinking into the alley through the shadows.

Seemed like the cat had decided where it wanted to live, Amy thought as she set out for her and Jake’s old apartment. When she arrived, she knocked on the door since she didn’t have a key for the place anymore.

“Jake? Are you there?” She knocked again. “Mr. Davies?”

She received no answer. Obviously, Jake and their landlord were long gone. The appointment for the keys had been almost three hours ago.

But when she tried calling him again, he still didn’t pick up, and the last online time stamp hadn’t changed, either.

Maybe he was with Charles, she thought, but after a quick call, that turned out to be a dead end. The same with Terry. Where the heck was her husband?

She finally pulled up the app that allowed her to see the location of his phone. She rarely used it since she always felt like a controlling wife when she did, but this time, she figured she was allowed to track him down like this.

Weird. According to the GPS data, he was at the water park. And as she walked back outside and scanned the street, his car wasn’t even here. What was he doing at the closed water park at this hour? And if it was case-related, why hadn’t he told her? He couldn’t have gone there to meet with Kirkwell, either, because that guy was currently being gross with Darius’ ex-wife. (Or not, depending on how Ms. Erickson was taking the loss of her pet for the second time.)

Her gut rumbled with suspicion. She had a weird feeling about this. So she got back in her car and drove all the way to Tropic Thunder.

And there it was, Jake’s old piece of junk of a car, alone on the huge parking lot. She glanced inside and saw his wallet, phone, and keys on the passenger seat. She tried the door. It wasn’t locked.

Suddenly, she felt the darkness of the parking lot creeping up behind her back, raising the hairs on her arms, the nearby traffic too far away to be comforting. Something was wrong here.

“Jake?” she called into the night. “Jake!”

The only one answering her was the wind rustling through a heap of old flyers on the ground, lifting some of them and carrying them across the asphalt. The water park itself was closed, of course, the only light in the building coming from the display windows next to the main entrance.

“Hello?” Again, no one answered. Jake wasn’t here. But why was his car? Moreover, why was it unlocked, with valuable possessions just lying there openly on the seat?! Messy as her husband might be, this wasn’t at all like him.

The knots in her stomach tightened as she dialed the number of their landlord. He picked up after the fourth ring, but it felt like an eternity.

“Hi, Mr. Davies. This is Amy Santiago. I’m sorry to call you at this hour but I am looking for my husband and I have not heard from him ever since he went to meet with you earlier. And I was wondering if he mentioned anything about where he was going or if he was meeting anyone later.”

“Well, no, I’m sorry” the old man on the other end of the line replied, the usually comforting effect of his gentle voice dead to Amy’s ears this time. “After we handled everything with the keys, he asked to stay a few minutes by himself, to say one last goodbye or something.”

“Can you tell me what time he left at?”

“No, I went to run a few errands while he was at the apartment and when I came back to lock up, he was gone and the apartment dark.”

Amy could hear her heart pounding in her chest. She now knew Jake had been with Mr. Davies, but she had absolutely no further lead. It unsettled her greatly.

After ending the call, she took a few minutes to breathe. No need to panic, she told herself. He was probably fine and there was a simple explanation for all this. Her gut didn’t believe her, though.

She needed answers. And she already had an idea about where to start. Taking Jake’s personal things with her and locking his car, she got back into her own, and made her way back into the city.

Back to Ms. Erickson and her secret lover.

***

Once again, it’s pain that rises him.

After a long moment, it subsides enough for him to find himself bound to a chair, zip ties cutting into his wrists and ankles. His body wants to curl into itself from the sharp tug in his stomach and his mouth tastes metallic.

He blinks his eyes open and realizes that the left one feels hot and swollen. That’s probably why he woke up this time.

The shimmers in front of his eyes are back and it’s hard to focus on the person hovering over him. He makes out words but they are slow to reach his brain. He makes the mistake of shaking his head in an attempt to clear it. Everything instantly blurs and he’s glad about the ties holding him to the arms and legs of the chair. He feels like throwing up.

Two hands reach out and shake the chair, drops of saliva landing on his face as the other person yells at him. Jake squints into the bright little light and finally understands it’s coming from a headlamp fastened to the person’s forehead.

It’s a man. The shape of his face is familiar. Jake’s ears stop ringing and he hears the voice properly now.

A particularly fast brain cell registers the familiarity, but the information doesn’t quite get through to his other cells yet.

His nose picks up the smell from earlier, his eyes scan the unfamiliar chair he’s sitting in, but the floor underneath finally breaks through the haze in his brain.

He knows. He knows where he is.

He knows the man tightly clutching a pocketknife in his hand, although the disturbingly angry expression is new.

Jake feels his breath come in a quickening pace as he fully comes to and the realization hits him at full speed.

He never left the apartment.

#b99fandomevents #b99 summer 2021 fic exchange #b99 #the last ride #b99 fic #peraltiago #jake x amy #sleuth sisters #jake peralta #amy santiago #rosa diaz #maja writes

[s-mok]

period writing tips for authors with limited / none menstruation cycle expierience

1. You do not get bipolar during the period Yeah, sure, some people have mood swings and / or unexplainable emotion reactions for stuff, but it isn’t always a case. You might feel like you are just having a bad day, or beeing slighty irritated by something, or do not feel different by any measure. Actually, only 20 - 30% people have symptoms qualificated as PMS (link to wikipedia who knows better than me: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premenstrual_syndrome), while 80% report some symptoms due to menstruation. And, remember, everyone feels different during / before / after their period. Some will be more emotionaly sensitive, some not. Some feel different during every cycle and do not have a pattern.

2. No period doesn’t neccesary mean pregnancy Up to the first year from the first bleeding, cycle happens to be irregular. And even than - your character does not have to connect lack of bleeding with being pregnant. Cycle can stop / became shorter / longer for many reasons such as: long-term stress, changes in diet, or sleep pattern. Your perios might stop while having depression or other sickness non-reproductive system related. Period can stop while being on many types of medication and birth control is only one of them. Medicine for epilepsy, antidepressants, anti-anxiety ones, thyroid related and many, many others will somehow affaect your cycle. And even than, cycle might do weird things without a particural reason / reason you can spot.

3. Tampon inserting is not sexual stop it

4. Not all people have pains during the bleeding Even though pains in first days of cycle are pretty common, not all people expiernce them. And it isn’t always your lower abdomen aching. It might me your head, breasts, knees, or joints in general. Maybe you fell like having cold or migrene. Maybe you can barely move (than you should seek gynecologic help - many pain killers are menstrual pains profiled), or you can have an ibuprom and go have a karate class. Everyone is different.

5. Pad is not a tampone and there are many pad choises What menstrual product to use is your own choise usually defined by what suits you needs the best. Qualifications are not only not-leeking but also movability, comfort, and unfortunately - price. There are many options from what to choose: pads (winged or not), tampons, cups, menstrual underwear, etc. Do more research!

6. The winged ones will stay more in place and also are thinner than non winged (more comfort, less pampers vibes). Usually more expensive (at least in my country, probably depends). They are as thick, as a smartphone without an etui. The non winged ones (which means that they do not have little folds with extra glue on each side) are harder to keep on place, and than, your range of motion is limited. They are on market for longer time and are cheaper. They are as thick as a slice of bread, or a notebook, or a napkin folded a few times. Very thick for an extra layer of garment and pretty uncomfortable.

7. It’s uncomfortable as hell Most of the time (less with a tampone but still). Even if you do not feel a regular pain, it is not something you seek or wait for entire month.

8. Not women have periods and not all people who have periods are women.

9. It’s not illegal / impossible to have sex during the period. Some people just do not want to and that’s okay.

10. The pad / tampone / underwear smells nasty But you usually cannot smell anything when you actually have the pad on. it does it’s job to absorb both liquid and smell.

11. Everyone needs different amounts of menstrual products It depends on the person whether they need five or two pads a day. Also, it shifts along the time passing. Amount of blood raises during first two / threee days of cycle and then (not so predictably) decreases.

12. Bleeding lasts from five to even ten days Depends (guess what) on a person, because we all are different. Also stuff from point 2.

Hope this was helpful! Feel free to add more,or correct me if something’s wrong

#writing #fanfiction #writing resources #writing reference #writing advice #writers #writer #character #chsracters #spilled thoughts #spilled words #period

[just-the-hiddles]

Tip Tuesday | Outlining Pt. 2 | How I Outline My Stories

Hello!  The last Tip Tuesday of 2019!  As promised, I will go over how I outlined my most recent chapter fic, Bah Hiddleston.  I hope people find this helpful.  Please share your outlining methods, because not all things work for all people!  This is just want works for me! 

Note:  I do all my writing in Dabble Writer.  That is where my outlining also goes, so if you are wondering what my screenshots are of, that’s it.  

Part 1: The Idea

So every story begins with an idea.  And if you are like me, they hit me anywhere and everywhere.  This particular story came out of a Discord conversation with two fellow Hiddles writers ( @hopelessromanticspoonie​ and @yespolkadotkitty​ ) and that killer red jacket and white sweater from Tom’s photoshoot.  Here is the screenshot I took I could remember the idea:

So from there I developed the story idea.  A woman who hates Christmas running into Tom, a perennial Christmas lover.  He makes it his mission to teach her the magic of Christmas.  Romance ensues.  

Part 2: Develop Characters

Now when I write fanfiction, I only flesh out my OCs.  When it comes to Tom, I have written him enough to have his characterization down pretty well, same with Benedict, Luke, etc.  Here is a quick look at my character sheet for Tamra:

Part 3:  How Long?

Now the big decision, how long did I want the story to be?  4 chapters? 20?  The decisions!!!  Things to consider when deciding on length of a fic: 1) Are you working with a deadline? 2) How complex is your story? and 3) How much do you want to write?  For me, I wanted to have the whole thing posted by Christmas Eve (which I did! SCORE!!). And I wanted a fairly complex story but nothing too crazy.  I was already writing a shorter story so it made sense to make this one longer.  With all that, I decided on 12 chapters, which also coincided with 12 Days of Christmas.

Part 4: Fleshing Out the Story

So now that I know how long the story is going to be, now to dig in and outline this story!  In my program, I can create “index cards” for book scenes. There is a whole separate tab for Plot, which also includes Plot Lines. I love the index cards with bullet points.  So I made twelve index cards and initially gave them titles of which day of Tamra’s trip as well as the day of the month.  I did that because I had some very specific events that needed to happen on specific days.   Here is a look at some of the first few “cards” ( I circled the Plot tab):

As you can see, I make a bullet point for each major plot point/scene for that chapter.  I vary between 4-6 bullet points per chapter.  I also take this time to do my research.  I am living on Google Maps, Yelp, and in this case, museum websites at this point.  I am adding those notes either directly in the outline or in my World Building Notes at the bottom sidebar.  Honestly, if there is something you are going to need to remember, write it down!  That way you are not having to open Google as much during the actual writing process.  This story required a lot of research because I wrote about threee or four museums as well as other places.  I don’t live in London, so I needed to figure out how we are getting from place to place and what not. 

Part 5:  Writing and When Things Go Wrong

Once I had everything outlined, I started to write.  I refer to the outline to remember the flow of the story.  Things didn’t happen exactly like the outline but more or less I followed  the bullet points until... Chapter 7.  Now I don’t outline smut.  Because I feel weird doing it, but when I got to Chapter 7 I got lazy in outlining. Check it out:

pretty fucking sparse isn’t it?  Yeah that was a big problem for me.  I hit this point where I had planned basically an entire chapter of smut and didn’t flesh out the details.  But when I got there, smut at the beginning of the chapter felt weird and wrong.  I ended deleting everything I wrote (about 600 words) and started over.  I came up with the whole takeout, stay with me (still one of my favorite scenes!), snowball fight, on the fly.  I then pushed the smut into Chapter 8′s beginning and had to rework some things.  Fortunately, because I had the outline in place, I was able to get back on track.  

And there you go, how I outlined my latest chapter story. I hope this helps someone out.  I am more than willing to answer any questions or listen to any suggestions.  Again, this how I did things, I am a work in progress.  Thanks again and here is to more Tip Tuesdays in 2020!

#tumblr tips #tips #writing #writing tips #fanfiction tips #fanfiction writing #writblr #tip tuesday #tumblr tip tuesday #writing tip #outlining #outlining a story #how I outline #series writing #tip #fanfiction tip #fanfiction writing tip #fanfiction writing tips #writing outline #story outline

[guessmonsta]

Okay, so now you have to do the final part of the Bokuto x Reader college fic series you've put out. I just read the second part and I'm literally obsessed. I give you full liberty with part threee! But I just wanna see them kiss!!!! Please!!!!

I need to stop putting all my energy into this shit this is the last part I promise 

Read part 1 and part 2

Also I’m not making fun of theater kids at the expense of theater kids, I was a theater kid, I’m aware of how we act

Bokuto has officially known __ for five months, and absolutely nothing has happened between them. 

If anything, his relationship with __ has turned out to be his worst case scenario- just friends. She hung out with him every other day in the dining hall, and came to every game of his that she could if she wasn’t working. She had gotten to know Kuroo and Satori and Yukie, and even some other guys on the volleyball team, but still, she was just an extra amenity in the friend group. 

But needless to say, he still adored her. Every single piece of her. He still went to The Gazelle every Saturday morning just to see her, no matter what, and he didn’t even like coffee. The deeper they went into the school year, the deeper Bokuto fell in love with her. 

Even if __ was working, he liked to invite her to his friends hangouts, just because. This Friday, it was Bokuto’s turn to host a little get together at his dorm, and even though he knew damn well __ was working, he still invited her. Any opportunity he could get to be around her, he would take it. 

It was silly, and he knew it. He was obvious about his feelings from the start, but __ had never acted on them. Maybe it was stupid of him to think that she would have to make the first move, or admit her feelings before he did. Maybe she didn’t have any feelings at all. Any time he thought of that possibility, it crushed him, so he didn’t think about it. 

The hang out with his friends went well, as it always did. Satori brought weird brownies that Yukie went crazy for, but Bokuto knew better to avoid them. Everything was fine, perfect as it always was. __ said she might show up late, around eleven, but it was 11:30, and everyone had gone back to their own respective dorms, out clubbing, or to the library, except Satori for a while, who was “too tired to get up”, until Ushijima came back to literally grab him. 

So, at 11:36, Bokuto was alone again in his dorm. His roommate had gone back home for the weekend, so there really wasn’t anybody to complain to. Kise was usually good with knowing how to complain with him, too. 

It was 11:42 when he heard a knock on his door, and he had practically jumped for it. He was stupid for hoping it was __, it was probably just Yukie who forgot her room key, or something. But when he swung open the door, low and behold, it was __. 

He felt himself sigh and welcome her in, taking note of how tired she looked. 

“__, you look like you’re gonna bust ass any second.” He said, concerned. __ took this as a joke, and just laughed. She plopped herself down at his desk chair in front of his mirror, and began to work her pigtail braids out of her hair. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t show up to your thing.” She muttered, visibly upset. “I haven’t been the best friend lately.” 

“He-ey don’t say that!” Bokuto announced, dragging his roommates desk chair and pulling it up next to her. “You’re the bestest friend.” 

__ sighed, then ran her fingers through her hair. There was something beautiful about her when she was tired, Bokuto noted. 

“Why are you getting out so late today?” 

“The townies.” She sighed. “The high school down the road had their musical today.” 

“Oh no, __.” Bokuto chuckled. 

“They put on Mamma Mia…” __ began to chuckle. “I feel like I’m a part of the show…” 

“Oh my god.” 

“They just…” __ began laughing even harder, “Put on the entire show for two hours… they didn’t stop singing. Each person…” __ stopped to laugh again. Bokuto couldn’t tell if she thought it was funny, or if she was just exhausted. “Each person ordered at least three waffles.” 

__ spun in the office chair and faced Bokuto, sighing a deep sigh, then leaning into him. Bokuto felt his heart skip a beat, not knowing where to put his hands, or if he should even move. 

“I should’ve just gone back to my dorm and texted you. I’m sorry for showing up so late-” 

“Hey, hey, don’t worry about it.” Bokuto chuckled, slinging his arm around her waist. It was so strange holding her like this, Bokuto thought, wishing he could just lay her down on his bed. The thought made his heart skip another beat. He didn’t know how long he could avoid this for. 

“I want you here, __” 

__ looked up from his chest and sighed, then reached for Bokuto’s hand that just fell from her waist. 

“You’re too nice, Bo.” She squeezed his hand lightly, then smiled again. “I really should have just gone home. The, the only thing on my mind right now is ABBA songs.” 

Bokuto choked back a laugh, then squeezed her hand back. It was so small in his, he noted, and her skin was so soft for a volleyball player. 

“You know how you can pay me back for letting you in my dorm?” 

“What?” She raised an eyebrow. “How?”

“I think you know what.” Bokuto chuckled. 

“I really, honestly have no idea.” 

“No, I think you do.” Bokuto nodded, teasing her. “I’ve never seen Mamma Mia before, you should give me a show.” 

__ burst out laughing, then furiously shook her head. 

“No, for the love of god, no.” 

“Awh, c’mon, one song? Super Trouper.” Bokuto laughed along with her. 

“Absolutely not,” She stood up from the chair, and headed to the door. “I’m just gonna head out, nice talk as always, Bo.” 

Bokuto stood up from his own chair and grabbed her hand again, then pulled her back from the door. She yelped in surprise, and Bokuto, with some strange new confidence, pulled her against his chest, and threw her on his bed. She burst out laughing again, and she hugged him, tightly. 

“Stay.” He mumbled into her hair. 

“Man, I didn’t think you were such a big Mamma Mia fan.” 

“I’m not.” Bokuto muttered. “I’m a pretty big fan of you, though.” 

__ gaped at him, then giggled again. 

“That was so lame, Bo.” 

“Hey, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.” 

“You’re so sweet, did you know that?” __ ran her fingers through his hair absentmindedly, and Bokuto felt a hot blush creep up his neck. A familiar shade of pink bloomed on her own cheeks, and Bokuto had no idea what to make of the situation. 

“Me? Sweet? C’mo-on.” 

“I mean it.” She sighed. Bokuto could feel the rise and fall of her chest from under his. Looking down on her from this position made him feel all sorts of feelings- red in the face, his stomach in knots, he hoped and prayed to god that he wouldn’t pop a boner, because she would definitely be able to feel that from under him. She was so soft, so small underneath him. Even with dark rings underneath her eyes, Bokuto had never seen somebody perfect. His eyes jumped from her lips, back up to her eyes, and without second thought, he blurted out, 

“I’m in love with you.” 

__ looked up at him with wide eyes, her lips parted. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, and he felt her inhale, then exhale deeply. 

“I’m sorry, __, I-” Bokuto sighed, and __ shook her head. 

“Why are you apologizing?” Her hand fell to his face, and her thumb lightly dusted back and forth across his cheek. “You have nothing to apologize for.” 

“You don’t like me, do you?” Bokuto said, barely a whisper. __’s smile only got wider. 

“You’re an idiot.” She shook her head. He could feel her breaths get faster. “This whole time I just thought that you were just ignoring my feelings for you.”

“Wait, what?” 

“I gave you a cup with my phone number on it the first day we talked. I asked you to hang out the moment you texted me. I always, always try to go out of my way to see you at least once a week.” 

“I, I thought you were just being a good friend.” Bokuto stammered. “Are you playing a joke on me?” 

“Bokuto, you’re so stupid. I like you.” 

Bokuto had no idea what else to say. Everything in his mind was foggy, he definitely had a boner. His heart was beating so fast he felt like he had just played a three set game. He grabbed her from underneath her arms and pulled her up further onto his bed, her head falling softly against his pillows. Then he kissed her. 

It was almost animalistic, five months of wishing he could be this close to her just for all the emotions and desire he had built up to come crashing down in front of him. He kissed her like he had never kissed anyone before. He set one arm down by her head to keep his balance, the other firmly grabbed her waist. She was tugging at his hair lightly, messing up the gel and pulling him in deeper. She spread her legs out from underneath him, and wrapped them gingerly around his waist. She tugged at his hair a little harder and he moaned, instinctively bucking his hips up into hers. She broke the kiss to sigh, then giggled softly. 

“Woah there, cowboy.” She giggled again. “I said I like you, not give me your babies.” 

“I know, I know.” He laughed at himself. “I got a little too carried away there.” 

“I can tell.” She paused, and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. “I don’t expect anything less from Mr. Sexyman.” 

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu!! headcanons #Bokuto Koutarou #bokuto koutarou x reader #did y'all see my knb reference?

[blooms-of-gardenia]

.

#I lost 20lbs these past two weeks and ended up binging these past threee days on homemade foods #due to knowing that this is my last month before I go to college in august #and this honestly is so hard to eat all this and try not to go back to not #I know this is my pers. blog but rn in just feeling like this #AND I #CANT LMAO #b ut I only have this month before I go #wtf sorry I just needed to write this somewhere #I'm trying to eat a bowl of cereal but it's been sitting there all soggy now wTF #all I know is that people who saw me graduated and seeing me now they would be like wtf #oh fuck #IGNORE THIS PLES #I GNORE

[chaosisthemethod2themadness]

I was tagged by @queenofthedagger​

Rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Top 3 ships:

Only Threee

1.  Midnight/Cobra (Macbeth/Erik) or MidCo from fairy tail

2. Remus/Sirius (Wolfstar) from Harry Potter

3. Wendy/Chelia (Chendy) from Fairy Tail

*Update I have way more favorite ships than I thought

Lipstick or Chapstick:  I mostly use chapstick, but I have an impressive lipstick collection... so 

Last Song:  Misty Mountains- Peter Hollens feat. Tim Faust

Last Movie: I don’t really watch movies...maybe What We Do in The Shadows months ago.  I finished watching Full Metal Alchemist last week though.

Reading: In the middle of Three Dark Crowns (Kendare Blake), but the last one I finished was Sabriel (Garth Nix).

Three random things that make me happy:

1. My cats

2.  Good coffee

3. Chocolate/baked goods that are gluten free/vegan so I don’t die when I eat them

Tagging: @wynnefic @ladybirdsparrow @wolfstarisreal394 @a-sentimental-man @wolfywordweaver @thehufflebean @fairytail-appreciationx and whoever else would like to! <3

[aniseandspearmint]

OKAY (Long post is LONG because I am incapable of being concise, sorry. Why use ten words when a hundred will do?)

First off: I would like to thank each and every person that bought something on my Walmart or Amazon wish lists. It was of unimaginable help, especially the dogfood. The state randomly decided to cancel my EBT (again) for no discernible reason, so we had to spend money on food and would have had to dip into the money we had saved for a rental deposit without your help on those household essentials. So, T H A N K  Y O U.

(Note: If you bought something off our Amazon list, please PM me. Most of it’s gotten here okay, but one thing never arrived, but I don’t know who purchased it and you gonna need to contact amazon on your end)

Full situation recap: As a lot of you know, I have been desperately searching for someplace to move for the last few months. 

The property we live on right now is being sold, and the new owner doesn’t want our place, so it’s gonna be striped and used as a fire training stage.

There have been some false hopes. I was literally about to hand over a deposit on a place in June, even, when the property manager got a call from the big boss with an order to halt all rentals at that park (like, I am not even slightly exaggerating, I was about to initiate the bank transfer when the call came through).

So back to searching it was, which included many many fruitless calls, three attempted scams (hoo boy, was the last one a doozy too), and more tears and panic attacks than I care to admit (no, I’ll admit it. SO MANY).

BUT! I have prevailed! I HAVE A PLACE. 

Went and put the deposit down this afternoon and a hundred towards the first months rent (threee houuuuur caaaaar driiiiive. Both ways. Ugh. A thousand thanks to my current landlady for driving me across the state.)

This place is,,,, Well, better than the place I was fixing to put money on before? Bigger anyway. It’s an actual house, not a trailer, and rent-to-own direct from the owner not a bank (banks all want upwards of a thousand down on RtO; WHY?!?!). Walls, roof, windows, and floor all intact. Owner seems the decent sort for an old white southern dude (I’ll have to keep ace-ness and such on the downlow, but I expected that. This IS Georgia.)

However, there are some issues.

The entire thing, barring the (tiny TINY shotgun) bathroom and (awkwardly designed) Kitchen, is floored in THE most gawd AWFUL 70s olive green shag carpeting I have seen in AGES. 

I have pictures. 

I will totally share once I find where the hell my fxxkin’ camera specific USB cord went (may have to see if I can borrow one from someone tbh).

Also, the walls? Not only are they a funny pinky-grey tan, they are popcorned/cottage cheesed, not just the ceiling. It is one of the most yuckbadno combinations my autistic ass has encountered recently.

The owner also did a weird thing in the living room and boarded up and spackled over large windows on each side and replaced them with a single window in the front, which, okaaaay, but the spackle job is,,,, not the smoothest. like. At All.

 I don’t want to be too down on the owner, bc he is Old, and clearly not the finest handyman, but it is Bad. (I also have clear pics of this and will share).

The walls are handleable for the most part. I have a line on some paint, hopefully, and spackle is cheap. That can be handled after we move in, even if the color/texture makes me want to hurl.

The main problem is the carpet. 

Mom’s (mostly) in a wheelchair. And anyone who’s tried pushing themselves around on shag carpeting in a wheelchair knows, you get nowhere at a snails pace.

That stuff needs to go, ASAP.

So, I’m looking into flooring options to add to my Walmart Registry and my Amazon Wishlist. Mom’s adamant it HAS to be the solid sheet kind, not tile, so that limits what we can do. I’ll add some in the next few days once I figure out which ones are cheaply priced but not too cheaply made, and mostly lighter colors since the place really needs lightening tbh. I did toss a kind of flexible plastic runner on the lists, which will help if we can’t get flooring right away. She’d be able to move from room to room on those, I think. If anyone could possibly help out with some of the other items so we can save to buy the vinyl or pvc sheeting ourselves, I would be so grateful (dog food is always welcome).

Note: I’ve added some frivolous things to the Amazon list. Mom is currently very very disappointed that this is the best we could find and afford, and is tipping into a lovely depressive episode now, I think. The fact that it’s all fixable things is falling on deaf ears right now, all she can see is that it’s not what she’d hoped. She’s also still quite upset at the death of one of our dogs earlier this month. She usually bought herself a DVD or two a month, but we’ve been frantically trying to save money the past year, so it’s been a long time since she’s been able to. So I went and looked over her Amazon Wishlists and tossed a bunch of things she’s had on them for a long time. If anyone would be willing to grab her a favorite movie, or a book, or a hair clip, to raise her spirits a little, I’d be very grateful. (Her birthday is also in August, and at this rate, there really isn’t going to be anything left for us to have any kind of ‘Happy 69th Birthday’ celebration)

WALMART LIST

AMAZON LIST

#me #my life #being poor in america #good news mostly #help out if you can #long post is long #i ramble

[iessos]

Hey y’all just a little life update

I started my job on the 3rd in animal welfare, basically placing animals into families and interviewing the community to ensure both the family and animal are a good match. They’re long days, but I get threee days off since all 40 hours (and over) are in 4 days so that’s pretty good but I don’t get a day off with Corvo since I work weekends at the moment. I got one week’s worth of pay so far since I started in the middle of the pay period and it really sucks bc I’m trying to get back on my feet. Then my damn debit card got hacked last night and I lost whatever small amount of money I had left but I’m waiting for my bank to get me my money back but for now I’m shit out of luck.

Riven, our kitten rescue, has been getting along great with Jimmy.

I also adopted a kitten from a bad horsing situation who ended up losing her sight because she had bad corneal ulcers. After reading about her story I couldn’t really like let someone else take her because I know she would thrive in my care. She’s settling in still since I brought her home last night. Corvo and I now have two kittens and a dog and we are living for it lmao.

But yeah things are better and I’m like content where I’m at for now. We def wanna move again soon since our apartment is having a lot of issues and it’s so depressing trying to cook in our tiny kitchen. With my pay and their pay we should be able to afford something a bit nicer for sure in the coming months ☺️

#personal

[rekindled-hearth]

3 4 5 7 10 11 13 15 18 21 23 24 25 26 28 30 32 33 35 43 45 46 49 50 51 54 57 58 59 63 65 66 70 71 72 73 74 76 77 78 87 88 89 90 91 92 100 105 107 108 112 113 120 122 125 130 140 141 145 146 150 (this is a lot sorry)

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? Every week day I look forward to 1430 because thats when my best friend gets online and I get to talk to them until I go to bed

4. Are you easy to get along with? Yes.

5. If you were under the influence would the person you like take care of you? Yep.

7. Do you think you'll be in a relationship 2 months from now? Pass

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Same as threee

11. What does the most recent text you sent say? "Not a catholic ceremony thank the gods"

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? ....so much

15. What good thing happened this summer? My summer job turned out to be awesome

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Yeah she actually works in the same department as me funnily enough

21. What are your bad habits? I dont eat properly

23. Do you have trust issues? Yes. Thank you family.

24. Favourite part of your daily routine? 3

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? *gestures to all of me*

26. What do you do when you wake up? Turn on music.

28. Who are you most comfortable around? Can you guess it? Same as 3

30. Do you ever want to be married? It's a possibility

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Uh. Well. Um.caradelevigneandchrisevans

33. Spell your name with your chin. bfml ihuh c

35. Would you rather live without tv or music? TV

43. Do you smile at strangers? On occasion.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? I have to go to work.

46. What are you paranoid about? All my friends actually hate me but are too nice to tell me so I'm just ruining eberything for everyone.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope no one finds out? Yep

50. What was the color of the last hoodie you wore? Grey.

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yes

54. Favourite store? The LEGO store

57. Favourite food? Ice cream

58. Last thing you ate? Mashed potatoes

59. First thing you ate this morning? It's 5am I havent eaten yet

63. Ever been in love? Pass

65. Are you hungry right now? Yep

66. Do you like your tumblr feiends better than irl friends? Yep

70. Names of your bestfriends? Winter

71. Craving something? What? Yes. A panini

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yes

74. How many stuffed animals do you have? I have a big box full, I have two on my bed.

76. What color is your underwear? Black

77. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate candy, vanilla ice cream.

78. Favorite ice cream flavour? Pineapple upside down cake

87. First person you talked to today? Winter

88. Last person you talked to today? Day's not done.

89. Name a person you hate? Do 't really hate anyone.

90. Name a person you love? Can you guess?

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face? Yes

92. Are you in a fight with someone? No

100. How are you feeling? Tired

105. Ever been to a bonfire? Yeah

107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes

108. What should you be doing? Getting ready to go to church with my parents.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Myself

113. What was your childhood nickname? Pass

120. Are you afraid of the dark? Yes

122. Is cheating ever okay? If you mean in relationships, no, if you mean in school/other stuff, yes.

125. Do you believe in true love? Yes

130. Do you like subway? Eh. Jimmy Johns is better.

140. Summer or winter? Weather wise summer. But I'm partial to winter.

141. Night or day? Day

145. Tea or coffee? Tea

146. Was today a good day? Yesterday was decent, to early to tell for today.

150. Get the closest book next to you, page 42, line 1? That last collision drove the air clean out of Eragon's lungs.

#asks #wint #this was so much thank youuuu