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whaleofatjme1920 · 3 years

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At the End of Your Rope (Jeff the Killer X F!Reader)

At the End of Your Rope

[Jeff the Killer X F!Reader]

[Warnings: heavy domestic abuse, violence, murder (not heavily described though), language]

[AN: This one's kinda heavy in some places. Take care of yourself first and foremost.]

It was rare that you had moments to yourself and even rarer when you found yourself enjoying those moments. Usually, you were tense, on edge, bitey and waiting to snap or invert back into yourself. That is what it does to you. It takes away, it destroys and it saps you of all your energy, your drive and your will.

No matter, that’s not what you’re supposed to be thinking about. You hum softly as you do the dishes, wondering how long this set of plates will last until he returns. You scrub hard at the bits still stuck to it, wondering how on earth he even managed to get this much filth plastered onto its surface - you made the meal, served it to him, you even took it back to the sink. Was he trying to key you off?

You took in a deep breath and scratched at its surface, only smiling softly when the piece finally dislodged from the blue floral design. You ran it under the sink, lukewarm water feeling alien against your skin as you continued to mindlessly rinse off the suds. As you began to stare off into space and by extension, the void, you found yourself remembering the times he used to bring you blue flowers at the beginning of every date.

A long time ago, when you were starry eyed about the world around you, he loved you deeply and truly. And it was the most strange of couplings, but they do say that opposites attract.

Last class of the day, what a relief. What wasn’t a relief was that it was chemistry. You’d never been particularly good at the subject, but you would often try your hardest and so far, throughout the year, had managed to coast by with a -B. It wasn’t perfect but it was good enough.

For the people around you who knew you better than that, they were more than surprised you hadn’t managed an A in the class just yet. You were the over achiever, the smart girl, the one who knew it all. But not in a cocky way, no, of course not. You were sweet, helpful and kind. That’s what spared you from how cruel teenagers can get - your aura was incredible and people would be absolutely dense to not like you. For the most part, you were quiet and only spoke to a few close friends.

Unfortunately for you, your last period chemistry class didn’t have any of your dear ones near. You sat in the middle of the classroom, attempting to take notes and kept your head down, honestly focused on the material when you heard laughter from the back of the classroom.

“Don't make me come back there,” your teacher said, her eyebrows furrowing slightly. “Do I need to split you up?”

“No, sorry Mrs. Haut,” a dark haired boy piped up.

Mrs. Haut rolled her eyes slightly before going back to writing on the chalkboard. She was talking about the electron configuration of atoms or something like that when the laughter picked back up again. Mrs. Haut sighed again before continuing writing. “One of you move up here by Miss Reader, another by Miss. Rhys, and another by Mr. Clarke.”

The three boys in the back verbally voice their distaste with their teacher’s decision but ultimately went along with it. You buried yourself in your notes even deeper when you realized just who it was sitting next to you. Usually, the person sitting next to you wouldn’t bother you, but the fact that this was by far the most disruptive person in the class had you a little flustered. You couldn’t afford skipping the notes or getting sidetracked especially with midterms coming up.

“You have a pen?” He asked quietly.

That made you pause. “Excuse me?”

“A pen..?” He repeated, albeit a little slowly, as to really get the point across.

You didn’t want to disrupt your teacher any further by the idle chit chat and quietly rummaged in your bag for a pen. Once your fingers grazed the object, you plopped it back onto the desk and got back to writing.

“Thanks,” he said.

Your eyes wandered from your notes over to him - and he smiled at you. Fighting back slight heat, you began scribbling down the notes with a nod as if to say ‘no problem.’

The lesson continued on for a little bit longer until you felt him gently poking your shoulder. You pried your eyes off of the board to give him the attention he so desperately craved. With an eyebrow raised, you asked him what was on his mind.

“What’s your name?” He asked softly.

You felt heat rush to your cheeks - how the hell did he miss your name? You were the only consistent question asker in this class! “... Reader,” you answered, eyes narrowed slightly at the fact he’d miss your name. Though, you do suppose what else could you expect from a class clown? “And what is your name?” You asked simply out of politeness.

His eyes widened in shock, and his face followed in suit. “You seriously don’t know?”

When you shook your head he gave a quiet, but exasperated groan and then flew into a tanger about who he was. The guy who set all those frogs loose last year, the same one who orchestrated turning all the furniture upside down, the guy who did donuts on the football field and the one who covered half the auditorium on elaborate post it notes art.

And unfortunately for you, none of those rang a bell. “I knew someone did it, but I didn’t know you were the one who did it.”

And that spirited yet another tangent from the boy sitting next to you. He went into painstaking detail about how he even got some of those things done, and you pretended to care, more so interested in the passion in his eyes than the actual content of the story. He was a surprisingly good storyteller! You hadn’t even realized the both of you had been chatting more than note taking when everything went dead silent. Much too silent.

“Miss Reader, I am more than disappointed in you,” Mrs. Haut said with another frown pulling on her red lips. “Both of you, detention.”

Your eyes widened in shock as she slapped down two pink slips on your shared table.

“Again?” The boy next to you asked incredulously, taking the note into his fingertips along with his bag in the other hand. “Mrs. H, this is like the second time this month!”

Mrs. Haut only shook her head and gestured towards the door, her shoe tapping impatiently on the ground.

“There’s only thirty more minutes left of class,” you said as you began to pack up your things. “I... “ Upon seeing your teacher’s tired expression,and not being one to directly challenge authority, you relented. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled before taking the slip into your grip and exiting her classroom. You took in a deep breath and trudged out of the classroom, wondering how you would explain to your parents your record had a spot on it when you exited the classroom and closed the door softly behind you.

“Do you know where the room is?” You posed your question to the resident class clown with a crestfallen expression.

“You’re actually planning on going?” He said it like it was a surprise.

“Uh, yeah? Where else would I be going?”

“I don’t know, but we can figure it out.” He smiled widely at you and plucked the pink slip from your hand.

“Wait what-? Give that back!” You cried out as quietly as you could to not disturb the other classes.

“C’mon, Princess, come and get it,” he teased. It didn’t sound like he had malice in his tone though.

You chased him through the hall attempting to get the slip back, narrowly avoiding the watchful gaze of hall monitors and the like when you found he had led you out to the parking lot. You didn’t have a car.

“Let’s go,” he beamed, scrunching up both of your pink slips in his hand before tossing them into the trash. “I wasn’t joking about figuring it out together.”

“I… But-”

“But nothing, Princess. Live a little.” He nodded for you to follow him, and you, feeling much too awkward to challenge someone, found yourself being led by him to his car. It wasn’t a fancy car, but it wasn’t near as run down as you expected it to be. It looked like he kept it relatively decent, and the scent was that of lemon. Whatever, live a little.

You slid into the passenger seat and put on your seatbelt as he became once again.

“Atta girl!” He chuckled as the car roared to life. He then flicked on the radio, turned up some music and the two of you left the school.

You can’t quite say you’ve ever had fun like that before. He took you to a diner, out bowling, you two snuck into a movie theatre then got smoothies before he dropped you off at home. And he was so sweet and kind throughout it all. He made you laugh, listened to you attentively, and over smoothies, he attempted to help you study a bit. It was moot, but it was nice that he even attempted.

That was what started a beautiful friendship that lasted throughout the rest of that academic year. Later, it blossomed into a relationship, and further, it transformed into marriage. The day he asked you to marry him was one of the best days of your entire life - and then, you were convinced you had met your soulmate. He was everything you’d ever wanted in a partner, and he was oh so helpful and attentive.

High school sweethearts was what you were referred to, and you both fit the image so well. You were practically glowing anytime anyone had seen you. Your marriage had happened too fast, but you were convinced he was your one and only unaware that growth comes in many forms. And in this specific case, the roots have burst the pot.

Back then, he used to give you flowers nearly every day in various shades of the rainbow. Blue seemed to be the preferred though.

“You always get these, why?” You had asked one evening, fingertips gently petting the soft petals.

“Apparently, they mean something poetic,” he replied before pressing a kiss to the side of your head. “That’s what the flower guy keeps telling me. And they’re kinda hard to find,” he continued, eyes looking out at the starry night sky the two of you laid under. “So, whenever they come in, I grab them tight and bring them back to my baby.”

You giggled slightly before shutting him off with a kiss.

They were damn near unattainable after the two of you had gotten married. It seemed they’d gone out of style, or perhaps they just weren’t thriving as they used to. One day, when you were lonely and missing your husband, you pulled out an old book on various flora and fauna. You must’ve spent hours upon hours learning about the area you lived in when you chanced upon a dash of blue.

Cornflowers, they were cornflowers.

The flowers on the plate you’d run under the faucet for far too long weren’t the same shade of blue, but they were just as pretty. It’s a shame that these plates would most likely be broken before the month was out.

Gods, when did he change? It was hard to pinpoint it because the two of you had been under each other’s spell for a good chunk of that time. When did he flip the switch? When did he… You shook your head and turned off the faucet, deciding you were done with the dishes for now. Accidentally, when you were placing the plate back in its place, you bumped your forearm on the counter. With a wince, you hissed and mentally reminded yourself to mind the bruises that were still fresh there. He gripped your wrist so hard that night you were sure it was going to snap right off.

He really wasn’t like this in the beginning and your mind raked constantly with reasons as to why when you laid awake at night hoping he wouldn’t go too far or burn a bridge only to find it needed to be rebuilt with supplies that no longer existed.

It was nearing the late evening and he wasn’t supposed to be home until later in the night. You could afford to relax for just a little longer. With a deep breath, you walked up the stairs dead set on drawing a bath to just let your mind go blank. Hidden away in the bathroom sink’s cabinet was a ‘mix’ of herbs and such a dear friend of yours had said would aid in relaxing your soul and maybe your wounds. You could only use the clumsy excuse for so long.

You opened the door to your bathroom, quietly shut it behind you and didn’t bother locking it. If he was here, you might have, but you weren’t expecting him back until much, much later. You could afford to breathe. You drew the faucet and let it run for a moment or two until the water got a little warmer, then you plugged the tub and let it fill. You crouched down and poked your hand around towards the back of the bathroom sink before finding the jar filled with herbs and salts. It smelled divine even when closed. Unscrewing the lid, you are able to take in the scent of lavender, chamomile, rosebuds, sweet lemongrass and vanilla. Pink sea salt for added effect made the bath look heavenly when you poured in a generous scoop. As the water heated the herbs, you notice the rosebuds blooming into large, pink and red flowers. It was nothing short of magickal and filled you with some type of serenity.

Once the water was to your liking, you stripped and got into the tub, sighing in contentment as the water heated your form up. And from there, you let your mind go blank and take in the aroma of the herbs and flowers. You feel the stress leaving your body. You wish you could feel like this forever.

You allow your brain to wander as you relax and find it going back to your husband every single time. If he wasn’t asked to sit next to you, would you have been in this awful situation now? This was no way to live - and you wondered if you had just gone to detention that day if things would be different, or perhaps better. You thought you were able to pinpoint when everything went wrong when yet another starting point would come into your mind. It was like your brain was purposely making you move the goalposts so you wouldn’t be retraumatized by anything all over again.

It started small and in little bouts. He lost his patience with you. If you accidentally burnt the pancakes? It was alright but don’t let it happen again. Over watered the petunias just once? Great, now he needed to go to the store and pick up some new ones should those suffer root rot that was relatively treatable. Couldn’t get dinner ready on time? What a mess. Said something slightly off base? Your intelligence was being actively questioned. It kept snowballing until it reached the first time he hit you. Which was a dark enough day that you rather not think about.

He said he loved you. That he would protect you and make sure you were safe from all harm. But he broke that the moment his hand slapped your face so hard you felt the air leave your lungs. That was a really dark day, but it was not the darkest yet.

You must’ve spent close to an hour in the bath when you heard the front door opening. Shit, he wasn’t supposed to be back. You feel your heart pounding as you leap out of the bath, quickly drying yourself before throwing your clothes back on. In your haste, you forget to unplug the bath. But it’s too late, you hear him coming up the stairs. Seconds later, he’s in your shared bedroom.

“Reader? Where are you?” He sounds exhausted. Upon seeing the bathroom door closed, he stalks up to it. “Reader? Open up, Princess.”

It’s not the first time he’s tried to soften the blow like this.

“I-I’m still in the tub-”

“Sure, sure, sweetie,” he hums. “Can you uh, tell me why you haven’t gotten any food ready if you were going to fuck around in the tub like this then?”

Your heart constricts and your stomach twists. “I didn’t know you were gonna be home this early,” you say softly, ready to brace the door.

“Oh you forgot,” he says as if he’s speculating whether that was a decent answer or not. “You forgot,” he repeats. He stands in front of the bathroom door, swaying slightly like he’s waiting for you to come to you. “Come out of the bathroom.”

“I just drew it-”

“Did I ask for your excuses?”

“No-”

“Then come out of the FUCKING BATHROOM!” He hits the door so hard you thought you heard it splintering.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You cried out as you immediately rammed against the door, struggling to keep your husband back from breaking it down.

He didn’t answer, only continued to rattle off about everything wrong. She kicked the door harder and harder, sending you bouncing against the wood. You continued to cry out in pain but dug your shoulder into the door as you prayed it would be enough to keep him out.

“Stop, stop, STOP IT!” You felt tears pour out from your eyes as your husband pounded the door. “You’re being crazy right now, stop it!” Your throat felt raw with anguish as you continued to screech, head coming dangerously close to bouncing against the door as your husband began kicking it.

Eventually, he succeeded. He backed up, reared his leg up and took three hard hits, successfully kicking the door down. You went flying down with it and tumbled down the tile floor with a yelp of pain, landing sharply on your hip. You looked up through your pain and saw he was standing before you, fists balled and nothing but rage in his eyes.

“I told you to fucking let me in,” he seethes as he narrows in on you. Before he can touch you, his eyes travel to the tub. “And now you’re clogging up my fucking pipes?” He asks in an exasperated tone as he feels his blood pressure rise. “You need to learn a lesson,” he sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair. “When dogs are just puppies and they have an accident,” he begins as he bends down to the ground and nears you as you struggle to crawl away from him. “You take their nose and bury it into their mess.” He finishes. He straddles your waist and sloughs off your weak attempts to get him off of you.

You continue to cry and scream, beg and plead as his hands snake up your arms and to your hair. And your eyes widen as he takes a fistfull and then roughly stands up, dragging your body up with him.

“You fucking dog,” he spits as he drags you upwards. He begins to drag you towards the tub.

“No, NO!” You plead as you dig your heels into the tile, trying to grip onto the sink for dear life as he continues to drag you. You feel your strands of hair damn near get lifted from your scalp as he continues to yank you. He’ll kill you if you don’t put up a fight. “I’m sorry! Gods, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! Whatever I did to piss you off I promise that it won’t happen again!” You attempt to reason as he finally pries your hands off the sink.

“You should’ve known that to begin with,” he replies as he pulls your hair harder. He then brings you to the tub and roughly shoves you to its lip. You catch yourself and try to get away when he pushes at the back of your head. You still continue to fight him, crying and pleading even harder as your husband kicks in the back of your legs, attempting to cripple you further to get you to bend. You continue to push back, staring into the now cold bath like it’s a watery grave.

A scream rips through your throat as he hits the back of your skull, having you gasping for air and consciousness. He takes that moment as your weakness and finally overpowers you. Your head is thrust below the waters, and you find yourself screeching all the while. From above the water’s surface, you can hear your once beloved husband muttering about you and the faults of your character as he holds you under the water. Before you can even register that air is in your lungs again, you’re plunged back into the water, coughing and hacking all the while as he does so.

When he grows tired of continually plunging your head into the water, he picks up your lower half and tosses you in, sending the water and herbs flying everywhere as your clothed body enters the freezing tub. Your tears mix with the remnants of the bathwater as he holds you under, nothing but rage in his eyes as he does.

When you feel like it’s too much, you begin to let go. Perhaps darkness would be a nicer sight than the sunrise of tomorrow.

You open your eyes slowly to see that you’re still in the tub and laying in a small pool of water that isn’t enough to harm you regardless of how you were laid. You feel aches all over and you feel like water is weighing down your lungs. Slowly, you get to your bearings as you prop yourself up. Step by step and painstaking muscle movement by muscle movement, you stand and grip the edge of the tub, realizing you need to change out of your clothes. You pause momentarily to look at yourself in the mirror.

“Gods,” you whisper to yourself. You look like you were in a car accident. There’s bruises on your throat and your face from where he tried to slam you into the bathtub, and your face is puffy and discolored from crying. Your hair is knotted and you feel like no amount of conditioner on earth can get that out - to even think about detangling it is a nightmare. Your clothes are ripped and waterlogged. Everything about you screams pathetic. When you turn your head and look at the door, you see it’s broken beyond repair. He kicked it out of its latches and the wood itself is splintered in two.

You quietly step out of the bathroom, ready to change into drier clothes when you see your husband sitting at the edge of the bed, waiting for you. You feel yourself begin to shiver, momentarily feeling your mind drift elsewhere to protect your brain from further trauma.

“You’re finally up,” he says, a blank expression on his face. “Are you okay?”

You feel disgust come up in the back of your throat but swallow it back down in favor of not angering him further. “I’m fine,” you lie, not bothering to plaster on a smile.

“Good.” He slowly stands up. “I’m heading out. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.” He holds his arms out to you.

Shivering and absolutely terrified, you find yourself bending to his will. Quietly, you pad across the carpet to him and allow yourself to be wrapped up in his arms. His arms feel like a metal cage as they wrap around your quivering form.

“I’m sorry,” he says emptily as he buries his nose into your hair. “It won’t happen again.” He sways the two of you side to side as he holds you a little tighter, not bothering to mind the bumps and bruises he inflicted on your body.

You internally sigh and hollowly nod, allowing him to hold you.

He said that the last time.

It’s been a few days since your husband flew off the handle like that. Your husband stayed in the house, but like every time before, he pretended nothing had happened and instead vied for avoiding you. In a day or so, he’d be back to pretending he still loved you. But, your mind wasn’t entirely on him coming back to you and acting sweet - it was on everything in between.

See, this isn’t the first time that something of this caliber has happened to you. Convenience was something that seemed to pop up in your life more often than not, and you’d just accepted it. The first time you could remember it was when you were in your garage, trying to have a moment alone after your husband had shoved you into a wall for not making the potatoes the way he wanted (what a stupid thing to be upset over). As you sat at the workbench, sobbing quietly, your attention was pulled towards a thing of antifreeze. It was just propped up there. You don’t remember buying it, nor did you remember your husband buying it either. Neither of you regularly did car maintenance, nor did it seem like the kind used for a pool (which neither of you had). What on earth was it even doing here?

You quietly picked up the bottle and tossed it before your husband came calling for you to redo the potatoes.

The second time you noticed something much too conveniently placed was when the coffee in front of you was decaf. Your husband was terrible at waking up in the mornings, and the only thing that kept him up was his morning coffee on the drive to work. Well, one morning it was decaf in the keurig- and you almost didn’t notice it. The last time that happened, he’d almost swerved off the road. In a panic, you switched it to the right one before he noticed. If neither of you did, it could have claimed his life as the drive from your neck of the woods to the city was kind of dodgy in general.

The third most prominent time was semi-recently. You were cooking and once you finished, carried about your day. When you stopped by the kitchen to grab your keys and head to town for some shopping, you noticed that the gas was left on. Your husband was due to come home soon - if it stayed on for any longer, it might have killed him. Of course, you turned it off, but your hand lingered on the dial just a moment longer, wondering what would have happened if you didn’t turn it off. Feeling monstrous for even letting that thought pop into your head, you pulled back your hand like you had thrown it into the fire.

Those were just some of the most prominent things that happened. There were also little things that occurred as well, such as the TV always being clicked onto certain types of true crime documentaries entailing warring spouses, or the reading material being a tad too detailed in how to get away with things that obviously weren't legal. It started with petty theft, or piracy, and then moved onto other things that were much too unpleasant for you to even detail. All of these things seemed to be calling you towards something more sinister than you had ever imagined.

And until now, you’d managed to hold it all back. Sure, you entertain yourself by watching the documentaries and reading the material (which you wonder deeply who put it in your mailbox to begin with) but you never actually thought to harm him, did you?

It all came to a head a few weeks after the bathtub incident. He pushed you around plenty since then, but it hadn’t crossed the threshold like what happened back then - and that was enough to keep you at bay until this specific dinner. Apparently, your husband had missed out on a promotion given to someone younger and more ambitious than him and that killed him on the inside. He had a chip on his shoulder and he was dead set on taking it out on you.

“Gave it to that little prick,” he mumbles as he stabs at his food.

“I’m sure you’ll get it next time-”

“Next time? That’s half a fucking year away,” your husband replies as he bites down on his food. “Worthless job and can’t even move up in it. Stuck in this hellhole,” he continues to mutter as he stabs around.

Not wanting to even think about flaring him, you just drink uncomfortably at your water. “Is…” You close your mouth, not wanting to even hear his voice.

“No, no, finish your thought,” he says with a deep sigh.

“It’s not important.”

“My wife has something to say, she says it.”

“No, really I-”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Reader, spit it out.”

“Is the food okay?” You ask quietly as you avert your eyes to anywhere but at him. You gulp thickly, worrying that you’ve upset him further and lament even opening your mouth up to begin with.

“It’s awful,” he replies before taking another bite. “You must really be testing me, y’know that?”

“I’m sorry,” you murmur.

“I know.”

Uncomfortable silence passes between the two of you as dinner goes on with that same unease. You practically exude discomfort as you sit there, picking at your food and not wanting to even stomach it as long as this monster sits across from you. You wonder if your husband is going to go on one of his tangents when he answers that useless question by opening his mouth.

He talks a lot about how much he hates work, his coworkers, his lot in life, literally anything he could complain about and everything. He has such a hatred for the world around him that you wonder if it was always hiding just below the surface when you first met him. Probably. People tend to grow into who they were always meant to be as the years go on.

“And you,” he continues, pointing his fork in an accusatory manner at you. “You are the worst part of it,” he says as he narrows his eyes. He does this to you at every meal. And by the end of it, he’s always so riled up he almost breaks the plates. “Remember that girl, Jada? From honors math?”

You quietly nod.

“I should’ve married her. Girl with some brains and a nice ass,” he muses. “Instead I settled for you. Worthless, bruised and battered, puffy faced you,” he says with absolute vitriol, getting more and more riled up as his complaints carry on. “Hell, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have been thrown in detention again either.”

“That wasn’t my fault-”

“Oh so she speaks, does she?” He stands up.

You brace yourself.

“You know better than that,” he says lowly like a tiger waiting to pounce. “Than to talk back to me in my OWN GODDAMN HOUSE!” The plates and the dinner go flying off the table as he roughly shoves his arms across it.

There go the plates that reminded you of something nicer.

You immediately stand up and gasp, your chair flying back as you do so. Your hands fly up as your husband’s hands grip ar your wrists, his power taking over your frail form as he begins hurling you backwards to the countertop.

“Teach you to talk to me like that again,” he growls as he slams you down onto the counter, wrists not being jostled into his one hand. “You’ll never learn,” he mumbles, strill wrangling you down to the countertop.

From the corner of your eye, you could see him reaching towards the knife rack - and you see your very life fly before your eyes as he palms one.

You begin to repeat no like a mantra as he grips the knife and then lets go of your wrists, hsi hand going to the collar of your shirt. You cry out as your hands balled into fists and start punching, your legs being held by his body as his hand latches onto your throat and squeezes. Tears prick your eyes once again as his eyes flick down to your shirt.

“Stop!” You weakly cry out as his fingers dig into your flesh.

He raises the knife, a mad look on his faze as the steel catches the light. It shines, and then comes plunging down.

You scream as the knife is stabbed much too close to your neck, instead trapping you by snagging your shirt to the counter.

“You stay here and think about all the trouble you’ve caused,” he says in a ‘bubbling with rage’ tone as he shoves your head into the counter. “And clean up this mess.”

Once he leaves and slammed the front door shut, you pry yourself free from the knife and then fall to the floor sobbing, once again feeling your heart broken over your husband treating you so. But, once the rain fell, all that came was a ping - a spark. As you finally composed yourself and began cleaning his mess, the spark ignited to a flame that grew like wildfire in your mind’s eyes as you gingerly picked up the pieces of plates that you held such saccharine fondness over.

You couldn’t stand for this anymore.

With exhaustion sweeping over your body and the kitchen now cleaned, you allow yourself to move on autopilot and move upwards towards your bedroom. You don’t bother changing and plop down onto it. You stare at your ceiling, wondering if you should run away or - oh! Here comes a thought. With your eyes inching towards your nightstand, you finally give into the overwhelming feeling to open the drawer and you do so. Your hand gropes around before you finally touch something cold. Your mind lurches once you realize what it is.

You sit up, more than surprised to see the handle of a gun under your fingertips. On it is a sticky note with a smiley face: ‘don’t forget to turn off the safety :)’. A shiver of horror runs down your spine when you realize there’s a silencer attached to it. Gods, you knew he had a gun but a silencer? Everything about this - you knew it was wrong.

But holding it in your hand… That felt right.

You decided to stay quiet on things for now and think. Afterall, he was stronger than you. You couldn’t just confront him with the gun. He might wrestle it out of you and shoot you instead. You couldn’t take that kind of risk right now. So, you waited, looked over the gun some more, and waited.

Your husband entered back into the house at some gods awful time at night, more than pleased to see the house was back in order as it should be as he closed the door behind him. He was exhausted on all facets (though it could not hold a candle to how you were feeling) as he trudged up the stairs.

You laid in bed, pretending to be asleep. You knew what had to be done.

When your husband came in, huffed and got ready for bed, you itched for the trigger. You knew you had to act soon, but not too fast or he could hurt you again an take you out instead. Your breath hitched when you felt him sit on the bed and get comfortable, of course, turned away from you.

You took in a deep breath, closed your eyes, and held the gun in your hand once you felt him slip into sleep. The moments felt like hours as you quietly sat up and held the gun in your hands. Were you really going to do this?

Your mind flashed with hundreds upon hundreds of possibilities. At one point, a long time ago, you loved him. You loved him deeply and truly.

You took aim.

You shot.

Gods, if you knew it was going to be this hard to drag his body out here, you would’ve chosen a different place to shoot him. Dragging your now dead husband through the woods behind your house was an absolutely miserable process. You were working up a sweat as you did so and it was so dark that you could hardly make heads or tails of anything.

Finally, guided by the moonlight, you came to a place that looked more than decent. It was far enough, and the growth here was so heavy that if you tumbled the earth around, it would hardly look like anyone had disturbed it to begin with.

“Always making things harder on me,” you mumble as you toss his limp body back to the earth before you juggle the shovel you’d dragged along into your hands. You let your mind go blank as you began to cut into the soil.

A plethora of thoughts entered into your head as you shoveled away, making a deep enough hole to throw your deceased husband in. In a way, you didn’t think he deserved a hole this nice, but you knew deep down you had to hide the body. You continued to shovel, and once you finally made it deep enough to your liking, rolled his body into the ground.

“Didn’t think you had it in you,” a low, slightly gravelly voice chuckles, slow clapping.

“Who’s there?” You ask in a slightly panicked tone, holding the shovel up like a weapon. “I… I won’t hesitate-”

“Don’t make me laugh,” the voice continues, a playful bite on every syllable. “No, no, you did good.”

Your eyes frantically look around for the voice when you hear a whistle. There, behind you, is a man. Possibly mid 20s, shoulder length black hair, pale skin that rivals the light of the moon, wearing a hoodie covered in things you’d rather not think of and taller than you by a good head or so.

“You gonna put the shovel down?” He asks with a brow raised.

Hesitantly, you lower the shovel in your grasp just to let him get a little closer. Your eyes widen when you see he’s cut a smile into his face. “Who… Who are you?”

“I’ll tell you if you finish your job here,” he says as he nods to the uncovered, deceased body of your husband. “And before you go through the typical ‘oh my gods, are you gonna turn me in’ bullshit so many of you seem to go through, rest assured that I’m not gonna do anything to you. Just finish your job. Can you do that for me, Bird?” He leans against the tree, looking at you with a small smark.

A mind too frazzled for anything else, you nod and get back to work. It doesn’t take near as long to fill the hole as it did to carve it out, which was a pleasant surprise. When you were done, you wiped the sweat from your brow.

“What are you doing here?” You asked as you held the shovel firmly in your hands.

“Checking in on you,” he replies. “You want to go back to your house and-”

“No,” you cut him off, eyes averting down the ground. “Anywhere but there right now.” You say softly, gesturing to the disturbed earth.

The man pops off the tree and stalks over to the hole you’d covered, lightly shoving some foliage on top of it. “Okay, still sensitive. I get that,” he hums. “Follow me then. Let’s take a walk.” He nods for you to follow, blue eyes silently telling you to bring the shovel along with you.

Not wanting to be near his body anymore despite it being packed below the ground, you relent and follow.

“So, you did good, really good,” the man says as he puts his hands back in his hoodie pockets.

“Why do you keep saying that?” You ask, quickly matching pace with him. “And I never did get your name..?” You trail off slightly, taking in the deep scent of the woods around you. The scent of pine and autumn fills your nose.

“Because you did my job for me, and it’s Jeff,” he replies, his arm momentarily pushing back some low hanging pines. “I’ve been keeping tabs on you for a while, Bird.” He chuckles softly when he sees your confused expression.

“Really? Bird?” You repeat in a dry tone, face deadpanning at the very mention of it. “Job?”

“You’re flighty, like a bird, and judging by how fast you switch topics, bird.” He smiles, continuing to lead you further and further into the woods and away from your now empty house. “Little while back, I was asked to kill your husband. But, I saw you during one of my stalking outings and well, thought I could make things interesting.” He says it like it’s nothing and common knowledge.

“You what?” You ask in a surprised tone. “You stalked us?”

“Well, yeah,” Jeff says. “Normally, I don’t take that much care in my work. I tend to gut first and never ask questions, but you posed something interesting in my wake.”

“Holy fuck,” you murmur as you continue to trot throguh the woods. “We’re both going to jail.”

“Me? Absolutely not. You? Well,” he turns his attention to the deer path laid before the two of you and smiles at the open, moonlit field. “Depends on how you’ll answer my question.”

The two of you step through the remaining brush and finally reach the field. You had no idea this place was even behind your house or even so close. Tall grass rising to your waist sways gently in the wind as you step out of the trees and into the open air. Stars dot the sky as the moon hangs overhead. This place feels nostalgic. Out in the distance is a little stone structure, and upon Jeff taking you closer to it, it’s a little stone shelter.

“Take a seat, gonna be a while,” Jeff says as he rummages around in his pocket. He pulls out a lighter, bends down and lights the pieces of wood conveniently left inside of it, and the night is no longer cold.

You get comfortable and let your exhausted body rest. “Have you been watching me for long?”

“Longer than necessary,” Jeff answers as he cracks his back before finally getting comfortable. “But, I only watched you from a distance. Tell me about yourself first, let me know it wasn’t a mistake to let you breathe.” He smirks at you and winks, sending shivers down your spine.

You take in a deep breath, not really feeling anything but exhaustion and decide to tell him. You tell him everything, about your childhood, about little intricacies and so on. You told him about high school and how you met your husband. Little stories, anecdotes, memories and feelings resurfaced as you detailed how everything was bliss. And then one day, it wasn’t.

“Something in him snapped and went rotten,” you sigh. “And he hurt me. Hurt me really bad.”

Jeff looks up from the fire to see how the light dances across your skin. It’s here that he’s finally able to see the extent of your dead husband’s power over you. Bruises darker than your natural shade line your skin like oddly erased marks on a stubborn piece of paper. Your eyes are hollow, devoid of all life. Hair from your scalp is oddly placed as if it’s still trying to grow back. Your posture conveys nothing but pure exhaustion.

“I’m sorry,” he says in a tone that’s much more gruff than he originally means. It’s not that he doesn’t genuinely feel bad, it’s that he’s awful at actually verbalizing it. In truth, Jeff doesn’t like abusers. They make him feel wrong, make him feel like something’s not fair. Jeff like to fancy himself as someone who goes by the rule of ‘equality.’ If you pick on someone weaker than you with them having no chance of fighting back or at least inflicting the same damage back, you are nothing but a coward who gets off on hurting smaller people. And that in his mind is nothing short of detestable. “Guess good on me for letting you take him out, huh?”

You look at him with an odd mixture of confusion and absolute relief. “I guess,” you say, the sound of serenity slipping into your tone. “And what about you? What originally sent you out here?”

“Tall guy in a suit,” he stated, a small scowl pulling at his lips. “Y’know, he’s interested in you.”

“Tall guy in a suit?”

“Slender Man. I call him ‘Pale Ass’ though. He’s like… A murderous businessman. Has little drones to do his work even though he’s more than capable of doing it himself. And that’s where you come in.” Jeff shifts slightly and fixes his posture. “He’s the guy who originally wanted your husband dead. Sent me to do it.”

“Why did he want him dead?” You inquire. You knew your husband had done some dodgy things, especially with how strangely he was acting within the last few years as his abuse ran up, but you originally assumed he was cheating or something. Maybe into some other shady things. What on earth could he have done to garner the attention of some murderer kingpin?

“Saw something he shouldn’t have. My guess is Toby - maybe Theo. Both of them suck at covering up their tracks,” Jeff laughs slightly. “Probably saw one of us hiding a body, committing a murder, shit, he could’ve stumbled on some finals when he obviously shouldn’t have done that. Regardless, it got Slender’s attention, and now he’s dead because of it,” Jeff continues as he casts his eyes from you to the flickering flames. “You remember that night he fell asleep in his car in the garage?”

You nod.

“Almost took him out right there.” Jeff’s brows furrow slightly. “Something stopped me and then I saw you. The way he reacted to you asking if he wanted a certain type of potato made me giggle, and then I got a thought.”

“The antifreeze…”

“Yeah, the antifreeze. I’d noticed you were being pushed around for a while, honestly planning on taking you out to give you some rest but,” his eyes flash, “seemed more fun to get you into it too.” He sighs and leans back. “Was it cathartic?”

You find yourself uncomfortably shifting and wanting to answer with ‘no, of course not! I killed someone,’ before realizing that wouldn't be truthful. It was cathartic to put an end to his life. It was cathartic to finally bring justice for yourself in a way that no prison system would allow. “It… It was.” You admit, shyly and quietly like confessing to a bad secret.

“Feels nice to admit it, right?” He smiles.

“It does.”

“Now, imagine doing that to other pieces of shit,” he says as he sits up again. “Imagine being able to do that to every monster that’s ever hurt anyone just like you/”

You close your eyes and feel the red hot rage tingle your fingertips. Being able to unload on your dead husband was more than pleasing - in fact, it was nice, and dare you say, fun. The thought of being able to do that to other people who hurt others like that, while a far off possibility now as you were still frail, was still a possibility nonetheless.

“I mean, where else do you have to go?” Jeff continues, watching as you toss the thought around in your head. “You’d never get caught. He’d handle it all right now. You’d be free.” Jeff stands up and begins crossing the distance to meet you. His shadow walks alongside him. Dusk hangs in the air. “Or, if this isn’t to your liking, you can join him.”

“What?” You question, eyes flicking up from Jeff’s shoes to his eyes.

“You gotta understand,” he begins as he crouches in front of you. “If you say no and

decide to deal with the fallout like a normal human being, you’ll be caught and most likely killed for it. You’d be at the end of your rope.”

You feel an ocean of emotions swell up inside of you. “And if I… What would you even have me do if I followed you?”

“I’ll take you to meet him, and we’ll see what happens next. He’ll cover for you. You won’t ever have to see this place ever again.”

The sun begins to peek over the horizon. The fire is dying down. You can hear birds chirping in the early morning sky as fluffy clouds bid good morning to the dimming stars in the sky.

“Let’s get outta here, Bird.” Jeff stands up, holding out his hand.

You take in a deep breath, hand hovering over his. You thought of your husband, your life and everything that had ever happened to lead up to this moment. You’d gone this far, and there was clearly no going back. Another deep breath in and you pressed your hand down to his.

Jeff’s smile bloomed once again.

#jeff the killer #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #jeff the killer x reader #reader insert #x reader #creepypasta jtk

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yaz-the-spaz · 2 years

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Do you think Joe Jonas and Sophie are really together and really have a baby? I’m curious what you think since you have followed three fake 1D pregnancies and I think you said you were a Jonas Brothers fan. Sorry if I’m mixing you up with another blog! I’m not in the JB fandom but I occasionally read about them and I like Joe and Sophie as people. But the way their relationship and Nick & Priyanka’s relationship have been portrayed in the media seems PR/bearding to me.

i am indeed an og jobros fan (been so since about '07) and i agree with you about the way both brothers' relationships have been weirdly pushed to the fandom and portrayed in the media (esp inserting all their wives into the music vids and whatnot and making most early comeback promo all about their marriages/wives, ugh no thank you). but i have to admit i've kinda tuned most of the relationship stuff out the same way i often do for ot5, though that tuning out is prob on a much heavier scale for the jobros these days cause 1) i just don't have the energy lol and 2) i've first and foremost ALWAYS been here for the music above everything else when it comes to any musicians i like. (my paying as much attention to personal lives or relationships like i have for ziam/ot5 was a novelty tbh, and probably a standalone from any other music/artist-related fandoms i have been or will ever be in)

that said, from the little i've seen/heard of things, nick's is absolutely a pr relationship and i believe that with my whole soul. i don't feel like i need a lot to go on to see that they don't really have much chemistry or seem compatible as people. ofc i could always remain to be surprised but i don't think i will. they'll probably get quietly divorced in another couple years/whenever the contract becomes less advantageous or they get tired enough of each other.

as for joe & sophie, it's harder to tell...again, possibly cause i just haven't paid close enough attention to things. but on the surface i will say they seem genuinely very compatible and warm/cute and friendly together so even if it isn't legit, i think there is some degree of friendship (or some sort of positive working relationship and some common interests/personality traits) there at least. although like i said, i could be wrong and just be being fooled by the few surface interactions i've seen and my not paying closer attention.

HOWEVER

the pics i've seen of them out and about with the baby were indeed what caught my eye and made me more genuinely start wondering if there was something a little odd there as it rings a little too closely with z's "family outing" pics wherein joe looks about as interested to be there as eleanope at a louis concert lol. which is to say he's often on his phone/looking away/standing or walking like 500 feet away with around 2 feet of space from sophie or the stroller when he's not looking bored af pushing it (or looking like he could care less about having to be out with them on a pap walk), and from what i could see never actually holding the kid himself. it definitely looks odd, but again i'm not as up on the details and from what bits i did see of sophie's pregnancy and their relationship beforehand from dating to the marriage things def looked a lot more "normal" than they ever did w/ z*gi or ch*am or laya (though ofc normal is relative lol, esp in the world of pr dating and closeting. but like at least joe&sophie had actual freaking baby bags and blankets while out, didn't take their newborn out in the middle of fucking snowstorms in the middle of the night where literally zero other grown adults even felt safe enough to be outside, and sophie got photog'd with a legitimate pregnant belly out and about multiple times and not weirdly trying to hide it, etc.). i will admit the vegas wedding was a tad weird and out of left field but at the same time still felt very much in character for joe's rather eccentric personality (and sophie who seems like a bit of a weirdo in a fun way too from what i've seen of her lol). so all that in mind i'm still inconclusive on them (the pics could just be happenstance cause maybe he just didn't want him or his family being dragged through obligatory pap walks by whoever greenlit it and that was his way of getting through it, or was genuinely just killing time while they walked, or maybe there really is something larger there idk)...i'm keeping a very tiny corner of an eye on it, and an open mind to multiple possibilities, but just don't have enough info (or motivation) to dive into it enough to really say anything conclusive for sure 🤷🏽‍♀️

#asks #anons #my thoughts #space #spaace #spaaace #theories #pr relationships #nick #joe #jonas brothers #joe was always the one with the most rampant queer rumors back in the day mostly he was a lot more flamboyant back then #*mostly cause #though nick had a little bit of his fair share too #so honestly the both of them potentially being queer wouldn't surprise me in the least #but remains to be seen if any more weird things crop up that ping my radar i guess #if anyone who's been paying more attention to all this than me wants to chime in w/ their observations feel free to leave a comment #(not an ask please i have enough of those rn lol)

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dontcallmecarrie · 3 years

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Replying to @kine-iende [hope this works and you see it, still trying to get the hang of how tags work] who said:

Thank you, author-person, for this incredible detailed answer. (Also i don't mind being tagged - or not) With Tony being so aware of the dynamic between those rivals, Justin ending as a villian is less going a betrayal from almost-family and more of a 'natural phenomen' he should have seen coming. Because as always:rivals ^^

To be completely honest, if this AU were a tv show the ‘Justin Hammer accidentally founded Cabal’ reveal would’ve been the huge plot twist revealed at the end of either Season 2 or 3, and it’d be a major shocker for the Avengers...but not Tony.

also just realized I somehow made an AU where the protagonist basically becomes a villain out of Spite™ and I’m not sure if that’s the weakest origin story ever, or what

After all, if this were a tv show, it’d be centered around the Avengers, and the main season one conflict would be in seeing how Tony fits in the team— which would get resolved eventually, but not before the audience gets a good look at their dynamics. Like, the chemistry between Iron Man and Captain America, how easily and seamlessly they work together without needing more than a word or two because they’re on the same page, or Tony’s cordial yet distant academic respect for Bruce [which gets contrasted with Iron Man’s uncharacteristic instant bromance with the Hulk], or... well, the list goes on.

Not to mention that having a common enemy alters their dynamic as time goes on, because while if this’d been a one-off things would’ve still been rocky between Tony and the team, whereas having to constantly coordinate because new intel indicates that their last enemy was actually connected to something bigger and that means even more teamwork...

So by this point they’ve got a good idea of their characters, how they roll, how they react under pressure and during downtime and throughout all this, Justin Hammer would make cameos because he’s SHIELD’s main weapons supplier [...among other groups, which in and of itself foreshadows some of his shadier connections later on] and between him and Tony, they’ve basically cornered the market on experts in that field— which comes in handy when we’re talking about alien tech.

Justin wouldn’t get much screentime compared to the others, but enough for the Avengers [and the audience] to see he makes for a very good foil for Tony, with their differences being highlighted all the more due to the similarities. After all, both come across as good people: Tony’s very friendly to anyone who isn’t on his shit list, and Justin acts very polite and gentlemanly to strangers [and is 100% a mom friend to anyone he cares about]. Tony’s a hero, though, while Justin’s long since made it clear he was a businessman first and foremost.

Through all this, Justin and Tony’s dynamic is intentionally kept vague— one moment they’re perfectly friendly, the next they'll be at each others’ throats and, again, sometimes can get misinterpreted as something else.

Then the Reveal happens, and suddenly all those past encounters and hints come up and it’s so obvious in retrospect but—

Who would’ve expected it?

Tony.

Tony’s the only one who’s not surprised by what the latest intel’s hinting at, obtained from an intel broker who turned up dead not long after [...because said broker’d also been messing with HYDRA, but that’s the plot twist that comes up in the next season]: nothing specific, nothing concrete, but something that ties a good chunk of the previous Villains Of The Week together to reveal a far, far greater threat.

The Cabal, and while some of its members have long since become familiar names— e.g. the Fantastic Four normally are the ones who have to deal with Victor Von Doom, but not always— its founder had been a mystery for the longest time. A mystery that has just been ended, except nobody could have expected to see the name on the file.

Everyone else’s caught flat-footed and going through several permutations of ‘oh shit’, meanwhile Tony just leans back, scrubs a hand down his face, and looks out the window with a low whistle.

“Well played, Justin. Well played.”

Which is when the audience learns more about their very strange dynamic, which gets revealed to have started out a rivalry during their childhood [and has now basically escalated to the most high-stakes game of chicken there ever was, but shh].

Here’s the thing: if Tony were to call their rivalry off, Justin would stop.

But...

Tony can count on one hand how many positive constants he’s had in his life: Jarvis’ [and, after his heart attack, JARVIS’] presence, and his rivalry. Those are the two things that’ve been there for him through thick and thin, the only two safe places where he knows where they stand, knows they won’t try and tear him down and that means something.

JARVIS will never leave him [not this Jarvis, at least], but... this rivalry’s been a thing since before he met Rhodey, since before his parents died and Tony’s not entirely certain just how much it’s shaped him, but he can count on one hand how many people give a damn about him and want to see him succeed and—

Tony’s not sure he has it in him to call it off. Not at this point.

Not when part of him knows why he did it, because— well, every superhero needs an adversary, don’t they? For a moment, he’d been surprised Justin had the guts to do this, but it makes complete sense the more he thinks about it and Tony knows just how little respect Justin has for the others, of course he’d be the type of guy who’d go “ugh, fine, if you want something done right, gotta do it yourself”.

also, before this all seems very one-sided, I think I forgot to mention that Justin’s really benefiting from this rivalry too— not as obvious early on, but it gives him something to focus on and work towards.

Something that kept him from depression when he thought too much about his past life and discovered just how much he’d forgotten, was still forgetting, something to keep him from being bored when he looked up one day and realized— he didn’t actually have any goals in this life, did he?

Not when his life thus far had been dictated by his parents, and he’d been okay with following along to their script for him because if it wasn’t him, it’d be his sister or an innocent child who’d be forced to live up to their impossibly high expectations as the heir to Hammer Industries... but it was something he was resigned to at this point, not something he was particularly happy about.

This time, he... didn’t know what he wanted in life. Nor did he remember what he’d wanted last time— had they wanted to be a doctor? Teacher? Writer? They didn’t remember anymore— and it’s startling to realize that he couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled if he wasn’t talking to his little sister.

Justin’s never been one to seek out the approval of the adults in his life— the fact that he was surrounded by Parents of the Year [note the sarcasm] probably had something to do with that— and remembering a past life means he sees everyone his physical age and lower as kids, so he doesn’t see many people as equals.

...and then Tony decided he’d like having a rival.

At first, yeah, it was confusing; even as an adult, Justin didn’t entirely get why, but it was. Something.

Something good, and gets even better because this is something they both decided, that had nothing to do with the meticulously-annotated plan his parents had for his life, and while at first it was weird, Justin found he was actually enjoying himself [for once].

To the point where he found himself actually getting honestly, genuinely invested in said rivalry, and if he sometimes found himself trying to drill self-care into Tony sometimes, well, those bags under his eyes made them look bad, okay? It was self-interest, nothing more, really!

Really.

So when Tony went and became a superhero, Justin found himself taking a step back for a moment as he paused to consider his actions.

Paused before taking the plunge, because this was it, was serious, was pushing the limit and going past the point of no return. Was he really willing to do this?

A moment to consider things, deliberate on the possible consequences and what could happen— then he gave a sharp, decisive nod.

“Yes, we’re doing this.”

#No Hero [Downward Descending]#replies #Naught replies #character study of sorts #My writing

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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 4 years

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can you please give some reasons why you don’t think Caryl is done after this? Don’t see how it can happen now unfortunately.

not to invalidate your feelings, but are we even watching the same show, my dude??

there has never, in ten years, one decade, 87,600 hours, been a more caryl heavy season of twd

i’ve done several in-depth analysis posts, and i gotta get to bed soon, so here are the highlights just to ease your silly lil’ mind (under the cut bc it ended up being a stream-of-conscious novel):

first and foremost, we have a new showrunner, who is a woman, which is always a plus for our female characters bc we have someone who will make sure they’re three-dimensional people, and that was a big problem with caryl for a while. gimple put carol into a “i was abused but i got strong but now i’m sad bc i killed ppl :(((” corner and let her collect dust, and tbf, he also put daryl in the “i was abused but i got strong but now i must wallow in my Man Pain in silence” corner, and then he kind of just forgot about how they had an amazing chemistry and focused more on his three season-long dick jerking contest between Rapey Man #3 and Main Lead Male Grappling With Loss and Morality. so that helps us out a lot!

now in terms of the actual show, i’m just gonna like, list things without giving analysis or clarifying bc i’m tired and have already explained a lot of it, but if you need me to explain again you can just message me and i’ll answer it when i’m awake:

caryl’s storyline has been set up to sail since the start of s9

carol and zeke were always going to breakup, and she only married him for henry and escapism bc she’s never dealt with any of her trauma ever in her entire life and there is a lot of it

the title cards indicated as such

carol’s wardrobe change between the time jump in s9, and between “the calm before” and “the storm” indicated as such

carol’s wardrobe this season also indicates where her mindset is rn

kang is rewriting carol’s storyline, and in effect, rewriting caryl’s storyline, in order to right the wrongs done before, and that’s why it’s taking so long, bc she wants to tell it properly instead of just having them smash in the middle of a field with no build-up

not that we’d be against it, but i personally prefer it this way

carol trusts daryl as a father figure more than zeke. see: her asking him to watch over henry bc zeke is too idealistic, and “so what if i dream about you being my husband and henry’s dad sometimes? shut up”

carol went to visit daryl in the woods to escape her marriage that she didn’t actually want to be in anyway

carol got daryl to stop isolating himself

daryl then proceeded to do all his therapy homework and has settled down and is like “cool, time to finally get with carol!”

except kang is telling carol’s storyline properly

which means that carol is in CrazyTown rn, bc she has 1. been in an abusive marriage 2. seen her daughter walk out of a barn as a walker and then get shot in the head 3. seen a small girl stand over her dead sister while wielding a bloody knife and smiling like a maniac 3b. after having promised her late father she’d protect her 4. had to shoot said maniac girl in the head 4b. after having promised her late father she’d protect her 5. made a connection with a small boy against all efforts to the contrary and then he got eaten 6. finally saved a child and thought she finally broke her curse and got into a rly boring weird fantasy marriage in order to protect him only to see his reanimated head chilling out on a pike among a line of all of her dead friends

AND SHE REALLY NEEDS TO DEAL WITH THOSE THINGS, OK?

so she has #cracked and is spiraling, and daryl’s entire storyline this season has been “shit carol is trying to smuggle guns to rendezvous with the enemy, wait shit lydia is getting beat up let me help her, wait shit carol is kidnapping whisperers and torturing them in the basement, wait shit lydia ran away, wait shit...” etc

SO HE HAS A REASON TO BE KIND OF TIRED RN

but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, it just means that all this tension is leading up to something INTENSE between the two of them. it’s going to come to a head Big Time, and i am v v v hype

anyway back to random things that have been pro-caryl this season

they keep juxtaposing zeke and con with carol and daryl, and caryl pick each other every time

carol’s choice of weapon suddenly being a bow

flower symbolism

boat symbolism

new mexico

acorns and bracelets and their subsequent #meanings

THE FUCKING DREAM WHY ARE WE NOT STILL OBSESSING OVER THAT DREAM THAT DREAM WAS SO IMPORTANT???

she. literally. dreamt. she. was. married. to. daryl. dixon. in. literal. canon. and. stated. it. wasn’t. the. first. time. and. that. she. thinks. the. dreams. are. good. like wtfffff

daryl does not have feelings for con and is very explicit about it

the fact that it keeps coming up is delicious tho

“follow my voice” vs “follow my light”

“i’m the one you talk to”

the repetitive use of we/us

“if i only knew what you told me i wouldn’t know shit”

“i NEED you to stay”

alpha/beta foils and parallels

repetitive reminders of both carol and daryl’s past abuse

did i mention the dream where she dreamt that she was married to daryl bc i feel like that might have been important

carol having sex with zeke

yes that’s a good thing

yes i’m entertained by it and totally chill

we are at the very top of the roller coaster, lads, we are tying up all the strings, we are making sure carol and zeke have closure, we’re gonna get (probably in an irritating murder way) closure with connie, and Then There Were Two

10.14 is called “look at the flowers” for christsake

“i could never hate you” ok fanfic trope number 6 billion

all of it

literally all of it

this has been a crazy romantic, tumultuous season, and some really meticulous and purposeful and beautiful storytelling and it is about to pay tf off

until i am given E X P L I C I T reason not to:

I WILL STAN KANG

and also, just to add, there are characters and plotlines that exist outside of caryl, and the writers have to incorporate all of them. there are gonna be scenes with them, there are gonna be things that happen that seem negative but that make sense when you look at them on a larger scale. you cannot, CANNOT, look at each individual thing and take it at face value. we have a showrunner who knows how to write now, so little things mean bigger things, and not always the things you expect

i know this is not the proper use of bullet points

it is past my bedtime

but anyway caryl is coming ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

stay hype, stan kang, and get daryl to call carol sweetheart 2k20

the end

-diz

p.s. remember that dream? wild huh

#me: not gonna make this a big long thing #narrator: she made it into a big long thing #as is my wont #anyway #caryl #caryl spoilers #caryl positivity #twd s10 spoilers #anon #ask #dunlap tp #Anonymous

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katabasiss · 3 years

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hi! so i’m looking at majoring in classics when i go to college, but i’m just scared about looking for jobs after i graduate, so if you don’t mind sharing, what are you hoping to do after you graduate? i was thinking (for myself i mean) something along the lines of museums or that area but i don’t know and that’s the thing that stops me from making the decision to major in it 😅 if you’re not comfortable with sharing that, though, i totally understand!

hello! sorry it took me so long to respond! first off, I completely get the fear surrounding classics and the ambiguity of the job field - it was honestly one of my biggest hesitations in applying myself. However in truth, there’s no more certainty in a STEM subject - you could have a masters in bio-chemistry but still not have a job in that field. That being said, classics is first and foremost, an interdisciplinary subject - in truth, after studying classics you have a lot of job options available to you. More oft than not, employers care more about what skills you have gained from your degree rather than your degree title itself (for example, you can often see engineers hiring those with philosophy degrees). So a lot of what is gained through a degree in classics is actually really helpful - you’ll find that people with a classics degree often go into politics, law or journalism! There’s loads you can do!

However if you want jobs that actually relate to the subject of classics itself, then as you said, museum/heritage work is often really popular! A lot of museum work asks for a foundation in heritage studies, but some classics degrees - like my own - allow for museum internships and modules in museum studies. If that’s something you want to go into, then there’s a lot of opportunity to test it out within the safety of your degree before you have to start worrying too much about the job market and whether or not you’d actually like it. A lot of issues people have with museum work is its reputation, however there’s a lot of programmes at the moment where curators or those with a relational degree (e.g. a classics or heritage studies) are trying to remodel museum and heritage work to encourage diversity - a lot of these programmes also allow for student participation. (For example, one of my lecturers is involved with a series of events run with other lecturers from across the globe that focuses on making heritage work a place for minorities, and it’s currently asking for calls of participation - https://ourworldheritage.org/diversities_and_genders/)

Other careers include television/film research, teaching (either at secondary/high school level or as a lecturer), archaeology, translating, or general research etc. There’s honestly way more out there that you can do with a classics degree then I feel I can name, however, honestly university classics pages on social media are always reposting or posting potential jobs or things you can do with a classics degree, so I’d recommend checking those out ! (even if its not for a uni you’re looking at going to - like I’m always looking at other universities' pages because atm theres a lot of free online classes/lectures - that’s actually another thing I recommend: if you’re unsure if you’d like the course then sign up for a free lecture. A lot of them are on YouTube as well, and you won’t be asked for much information save your email so you can be sent the link.)

In truth I don’t actually know what I want to do. I was also thinking museum heritage and was meant to have an internship this year but it fell through unfortunately :( But it’s also okay not to know what you want to do. I know it’s super scary going into a humanities degree and the constant rhetoric of ‘what are you gonna do with that? its useless?’, but honestly, there’s just as much uncertainty in a classics degree as there is in any other degree - including one in stem. Your lecturers and academic advisor will always be there to shove constant potential jobs on you - like honestly most unis I know do online sessions about future jobs every month or so. You’ll have loads of help. Plus most classics degrees are really flexible with modules/classes, so more likely than not, you’ll have the chance to really investigate what it is that you like and might potentially like to do after you graduate. When I first began my degree, I knew NOTHING - I’d never studied classics before, I didn’t know anyone who had - I honestly had no fucking clue. And classics is a really broad field of study, so I also had no clue what I actually liked WITHIN classics - but honestly the flexibility of it allowed me to study whatever I found interesting, and I found out what I liked vs what I hated, and in turn that’s really helped me lean towards different job options vs away from others. So I honestly completely get the fear, but you’re not alone!! There’s loads you can do with a classics degree - many of which are options that you’ll get the chance to study or investigate through your degree!

I’m so sorry this took me forever to get to, but I hope it helps! Please feel free to send anymore asks if I’ve been unclear about anything, or you just want more advice! (Am also perfectly happy to receive a dm if you’d prefer that) I hope it all goes well for you!! :D

#long post #classics #shall pin this for a bit so hopefully you’ll see it anon !

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Best Romantic Movies on Hulu Right Now

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Romance gets a bad rap at the movies. Until you behold the best romantic movies on Hulu.

Yes, Hulu is on the case with an expansive collection of romantic movies for you to connect with your softer side… or the side of you that screams in an eternal tormented shriek, desperately trying to find a mate whose shrieks match your tone in this expansive disappointing nothingness of existence. Love is hard. Anywho, here are the best romantic movies on Hulu right now.

Sense and Sensibility

This Jane Austen character really seems to have a handle on romance. The 1995 film Sense and Sensibility is adapted from the Austen novel of the same name and has a great deal of talent both in front of and behind the camera. Oscar winner Ang Lee directs while Emma Thompson (yes, that Emma Thompson) wrote the script.

Thompson stars alongside Kate Winslet, Alan Rickman and Hugh Grant. The movie, like the book concerns the Dashwood sisters and their sudden descent into non-stupendous wealth. Of course then the romance begins (not between the sisters, weirdos. Alan Rickman and Hugh Grant are in this thing too, remember?)

AWOL

AWOL is how indie romances should be – small, authentic, affecting. Joey (Lola Kirke) and Rayna (Breeda Wool) are two young women from a nowheresville Pennsylvania town. They meetcute at a local carnival and quickly fall for each other but circumstances threaten to crush their romance before it can even begin.

AWOL understands first and foremost that while love is easy, relationships (and arguably everything else in the world is hard). Sometimes what you want and what your environment is able to allow you to have are two very different things.

Margarita with a Straw

2014’s Margarita with a Straw is both a coming-of-age and romance film the likes of which you’ve probably never seen. This Indian film comes from director Shonali Bose and stars Kalki Koechlin as Laila, an Indian teenager with cerebral palsy, trying to achieve some independence in her life.

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That opportunity comes for Laila when she is accepted to New York Universtiy and moves to Greenwich Village. There she meets and falls in love with blind Pakistani activist. Miles from home, Laila must deal with her changing, burgeoning sexuality and live in a world not built for her. But it’s cool: she can always take her margarita with a straw.

Hello, My Name is Doris

Between TBS’s (now HBO Max’s) Search Party and Hello, My Name is Doris, director Michael Showalter had a stellar 2016. Hello, My Name is Doris is a wonderfully sweet, equally tragic and completely hilarious romantic comedy.

Sally Field stars as the titular Doris, a lively woman in her ’60s who after the death of her mother becomes infatuated with a younger man. With the help of cliched self-help materials she does whatever she can to get his attention. Hello, My Name is Doris is an empathetic romantic comedy that will change how you view age.

Cashback

Cashback wins a very important award on this list: most intriguing, provocative poster. But it’s more than just a pretty poster. Cashback is a British romantic comedy about the most mundane of topics: working at a grocery store.

For anyone who as ever been young and had an interest in the opposite sex (or any sex for that matter), however, they know that one’s place of employment is often an absolute fountain of sex and chemistry. If that simple exposition isn’t enough, Cashback comes along with a sci-fi twist and more importantly: Oliver Wood from the Harry Potter series.

Let the Right One In

Let the Right One In may seem like another odd choice for a romantic movie on Hulu but it’s romantic and sweet in a way that few other movies are. Sure, the players involved are a little boy and a little girl vampire (though the fact that she’s a vampire may very well mean she’s centuries old, just try not to think about it).

It’s a spooky yet undeniably sweet movie that presents the female side of a romantic entanglement as the ultimate protector.

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50 First Dates

50 First Dates has a somewhat disappointing Rotten Tomatoes score. Ignore that. It’s probably partially due to many critics’ distaste for at least one of the actors in the above screengrab. Not that they can be blamed. The presence of Adam Sandler or Rob Schneider in any comedy can be a rough sign. In 50 First Dates‘, however, it’s not an issue at all.

50 First Dates is a legitimately funny and romantic romantic comedy. Drew Barrymore stars as Lucy Whitmore, a woman with short-term memory loss. Due to a car accident, every day she wakes up believing it is October 13, 2002. Sandler’s character Henry Roth meets her in Hawaii and the two must overcome this bizarre condition to establish a lasting relationship.

Date Night

What do you get when you take the male lead of a popular NBC sitcom and pair him with the female lead (and mastermind behind) another popular NBC sitcom? A pretty decent rom-com as it turns out! Date Night stars Steve Carell (The Office) and Tina Fey (30 Rock) as a disaffected married couple trying to spice up their love life with a romantic night out on the town. But when a reservation steal turns into a case of mistaken identity, the pair’s night gets quite dangerous.

Date Night‘s action-heavy concept isn’t anything new to the romantic comedy genre but the presence of Carell and Fey (along with Mark Wahlberg, Taraji P. Henson, James Franco, Kirsten Wiig, Mark Ruffalo, and a whole host of other impressive talent) is enough to make this a pleasant viewing experience.

The Princess Bride

So you want to watch one of the most purely lovely and entertaining romance movies of all time? Well Hulu is here to say “as you wish.” The Princess Bride is a 1987 fantasy adventure film based on a book by prolific screenwriter William Goldman. The inspiration to the story infamously came from Goldman’s two daughters requesting conflicting stories about “princesses” and “brides.” So the writer decided to do two for the price of one.

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In this adaptation, Cary Elwes stars as Westley, a young farmhand who loves Princess Buttercup (Robin Wright). But when Westley is shipwrecked and left for dead and Buttercup is betrothed to Prince Humperdinck, the hero must embark on a sprawling adventure to rescue her. And of course this is a framed bedtime story being told to Fred Savage in bed…as all movies should be.

The Boy Downstairs

So much of what goes into a good romantic relationship is timing. Sometimes the chemistry is there but the timing is not. 2017’s The Boy Downstairs delves into this phenomenon from a millennial perspective.

Aspiring Brooklyn writer Diana (Zosia Mamet) and aspiring musician (millennials are always aspiring, you see) Ben (Matthew Shear) are in a happy, successful relationship. But Diana is forced to break things off after she moves to London. When Diana returns, she finds a new apartment through her friend and guess who just happens to be the boy downstairs? That’s right: Ben…and with a new girlfriend, no less. What follows is a funny, yet mature examination of what it takes to get the right one back.

Happiest Season

The setup for Hulu’s 2020 Internet-breaking comedy Happiest Season is very romantic…to a point. Abby (Kristen Stewart) and Harper (Mackenzie Davis) are in love. Yay! Not only that, but they’re going to Harper’s parents’ house for Christmas where Abby might propose. Woo! Also Harper has not told her parents she’s a lesbian and in a committed relationship with a woman. Oh. Oh no. Poor Abby!

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Questionable setup aside, this an excellent, personal effort from actress turned writer-director Clea DuVall. It’s an attention-grabber and conversation-starter to be sure. It also certainly doesn’t hurt that much of the cast is mind-meltingly hot. Stewart, Davis, Alison Brie, and Aubrey Plaza are like a who’s who of TV and movie crushes. Hell even Victor Garber and Mary Steenburgen can absolutely get it. All in all, the charismatic cast and accessible concept makes for a surprisingly wholesome romance movie.

Plus One

Maybe it’s just me, but there’s something really charming about erstwhile TV stars playing the lead opposite each other in a romantic movie. Such is the case with 2019’s Plus One, which stars Maya Erskine (of Pen15) and Jack Quaid (of The Boys).

Erskine and Quaid star as long-time friends Alice and Ben enduring the portion of their twenties where every friend seems to be getting married at once. Thankfully Alice and Ben have a longstanding agreement to always be each other’s “plus one” at every wedding. But such an arrangement couldn’t possibly lead to them discovering they have romantic feelings for each other, right? Right???

Palm Springs

“Time loop” movies frequently try to distinguish themself from Groundhog Day, the progenitor and most famous example of the form, by changing up the genre. Edge of Tomorrow is an action movie and Happy Death Day is a horror movie, for instance. What’s so impressive about Palm Springs is that it leans in to the romantic and comedic stylings of Groundhog Day and in many ways bests them.

In this movie, Andy Samberg styles as Nyles, a young man living through the hell of experiencing the same day (a wedding in Palm Springs) on a loop. In one particular loop, Nyles accidentally brings in the bride’s sister Sarah (Christin Milioti) and the two must confront the reality of living the same day over and over again forever together. You know…just like any couple.

LOVE AND BASKETBALL, Omar Epps, Sanaa Lathan, 2000, (c)New Line Cinema/courtesy Everett Collection

Love and Basketball

And now we come to a movie whose title is the two greatest things in the world! Love and Basketball is about…well, what you’d think. Quincy McCall (Omar Epps) and Monica Wright (Sanaa Lathan) are two next-door neighbors in Los Angeles, California, who are both singularly focused on pursuing their respective basketball careers.

Love and Basketball is a film all about passions – both creative and romantic. The movie also does a surprisingly thorough job of marking all the important beats of a relationship from childhood through the adult years. There’s a reason Love and Basketball has become a modest cult classic – it’s a fine execution of both the romantic and sports movie genres.

The post Best Romantic Movies on Hulu Right Now appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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visualreverence · 4 years

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Dune Genesis by Frank Herbert

(Image by John Schoenherr, text via: https://vasil.ludost.net/dunegenesis.pdf)

This essay was originally published in the July 1980 issue of Omni Magazine. It has never been reprinted, and most DUNE fans have not had the opportunity to read Frank Herbert's description of creating his masterpiece

Dune began with a concept whose mostly unfleshed images took shape across about six years of research and one and a half years of writing. The story was all in my head until it appeared on paper as I typed it out.

How did it evolve? I conceived of a long novel, the whole trilogy as one book about the messianic convulsions that periodically overtake us. Demagogues, fanatics, con-game artists, the innocent and the not-so-innocent bystanders-all were to have a part in the drama. This grows from my theory that superheroes are disastrous for humankind. Even if we find a real hero (whatever-or whoever-that may be), eventually fallible mortals take over the power structure that always comes into being around such a leader.

Personal observation has convinced me that in the power area of politics/economics and in their logical consequence, war, people tend to give over every decision-making capacity to any leader who can wrap himself in the myth fabric of the society. Hitler did it. Churchill did it. Franklin Roosevelt did it. Stalin did it. Mussolini did it.

My favorite examples are John F. Kennedy and George Patton. Both fitted themselves into the flamboyant Camelot pattern, consciously assuming bigger-than-life appearance. But the most casual observation reveals that neither was bigger than life. Each had our common human ailment-clay feet.

This, then, was one of my themes for Dune: Don't give over all of your critical faculties to people in power, no matter how admirable those people may appear to be. Beneath the hero's facade you will find a human being who makes human mistakes. Enormous problems arise when human mistakes are made on the grand scale available to a superhero. And sometimes you run into another problem.

It is demonstrable that power structures tend to attract people who want power for the sake of power and that a significant proportion of such people are imbalanced-in a word, insane.

That was the beginning. Heroes are painful, superheroes are a catastrophe. The mistakes of superheroes involve too many of us in disaster.

It is the systems themselves that I see as dangerous Systematic is a deadly word. Systems originate with human creators, with people who employ them. Systems take over and grind on and on. They are like a flood tide that picks up everything in its path. How do they originate?

All of this encapsulates the stuff of high drama, of entertainment-and I'm in the entertainment business first. It's all right to include a pot of message, but that's not the key ingredient of wide readership. Yes, there are analogs in Dune of today's events-corruption and bribery in the highest places, whole police forces lost to organized crime, regulatory agencies taken over by the people they are supposed to regulate. The scarce water of Dune is an exact analog of oil scarcity. CHOAM is OPEC.

But that was only the beginning.

While this concept was still fresh in my mind, I went to Florence, Oregon, to write a magazine article about a US Department of Agriculture project there. The USDA was seeking ways to control coastal (and other) sand dunes. I had already written several pieces about ecological matters, but my superhero concept filled me with a concern that ecology might be the next banner for demagogues and would-be-heroes, for the power seekers and others ready to find an adrenaline high in the launching of a new crusade.

Our society, after all, operates on guilt, which often serves only to obscure its real workings and to prevent obvious solutions. An adrenaline high can be just as addictive as any other kind of high.

Ecology encompasses a real concern, however, and the Florence project fed my interest in how we inflict ourselves upon our planet. I could begin to see the shape of a global problem, no part of it separated from any other-social ecology, political ecology, economic ecology. It's an open-ended list.

Even after all of the research and writing, I find fresh nuances in religions, psychoanalytic theories, linguistics, economics, philosophy, plant research, soil chemistry, and the metalanguages of pheromones. A new field of study rises out of this like a spirit rising from a witch's cauldron: the psychology of planetary societies.

Out of all this came a profound reevaluation of my original concepts. In the beginning I was just as ready as anyone to fall into step, to seek out the guilty and to punish the sinners, even to become a leader. Nothing, I felt, would give me more gratification than riding the steed of yellow journalism into crusade, doing the book that would right the old wrongs.

Reevaluation raised haunting questions. I now believe that evolution, or deevolution, never ends short of death, that no society has ever achieved an absolute pinnacle, that all humans are not created equal. In fact, I believe attempts to create some abstract equalization create a morass of injustices that rebound on the equalizers. Equal justice and equal opportunity are ideals we should seek, but we should recognize that humans administer the ideals and that humans do not have equal ability.

Reevaluation taught me caution. I approached the problem with trepidation. Certainly, by the loosest of our standards there were plenty of visible targets, a plethora of blind fanaticism and guilty opportunism at which to aim painful barbs.

But how did we get this way? What makes a Nixon? What part do the meek play in creating the powerful? If a leader cannot admit mistakes, these mistakes will be hidden. Who says our leaders must be perfect? Where do they learn this?

Enter the fugue. In music, the fugue is usually based on a single theme that is played many different ways. Sometimes there are free voices that do fanciful dances around the interplay. There can be secondary themes and contrasts in harmony, rhythm, and melody. From the moment when a single voice introduces the primary theme, however, the whole is woven into a single fabric.

What were my instruments in this ecological fugue? Images, conflicts, things that turn upon themselves and become something quite different, myth figures and strange creatures from the depths of our common heritage, products of our technological evolution, our human desires, and our human fears.

You can imagine my surprise to learn that John Schoenherr, one of the world's most foremost wildlife artists and illustrators, had been living in my head with the same images. People find it difficult to believe that John and I had no consultations prior to his painting of the Dune illustrations. I assure you that the paintings were a wonderful surprise to me.

The Sardaukar appear like the weathered stones of Dune. The Baron's paunch could absorb a world. The ornithopters are insects preying on the land. The sandworms are Earth shipworms grown monstrous. Stilgar glares out at us with the menace of a warlock.

What especially pleases me is to see the interwoven themes, the fuguelike relationships of images that exactly replay the way Dune took shape.

As in an Escher lithograph, I involved myself with recurrent themes that turn into paradox. The central paradox concerns the human vision of time. What about Paul's gift of prescience-the Presbyterian fixation? For the Delphic Oracle to perform, it must tangle itself in a web of predestination. Yet predestination negates surprises and, in fact, sets up a mathematically enclosed universe whose limits are always inconsistent, always encountering the unprovable. It's like a koan, a Zen mind breaker. It's like the Cretan Epimenides saying, "All Cretans are liars."

Each limiting descriptive step you take drives your vision outward into a larger universe which is contained in still a larger universe ad infinitum, and in the smaller universes ad infinitum. No matter how finely you subdivide time and space, each tiny division contains infinity.

But this could imply that you can cut across linear time, open it like a ripe fruit, and see consequential connections. You could be prescient, predict accurately. Predestination and paradox once more.

The flaw must lie in our methods of description, in languages, in social networks of meaning, in moral structures, and in philosophies and religions- all of which convey implicit limits where no limits exist. Paul Muad'Dib, after all, says this time after time throughout Dune.

Do you want an absolute prediction? Then you want only today, and you reject tomorrow. You are the ultimate conservative. You are trying to hold back movement in an infinitely changing universe. The verb to be does make idiots of us all.

Of course there are other themes and fugal interplays in Dune and throughout the trilogy. Dune Messiah performs a classic inversion of the theme. Children of Dune expands the number of themes interplaying. I refuse, however, to provide further answers to this complex mixture. That fits the pattern of the fugue. You find your own solutions. Don't look to me as your leader.

Caution is indeed indicated, but not the terror that prevents all movement. Hang loose. And when someone asks whether you're starting a new cult, do what I do: Run like hell.

#dune #worldbuilding #storytelling #politics #ecology #same as it ever was

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homenum-revelio-hq · 4 years

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Welcome (again) to the Order of the Phoenix, Kat!

You have been accepted for the role of ISLA SELWYN-MACMILLAN! We really enjoyed reading the motivations behind Isla’s decisions to join the Order and stay in the Order. We like that she’d been questioning her place until the recent capture which, instead of pushing her away, ended up pulling her more in! We’re looking forward to having her on the dash!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: tis I kat

AGE: 25

TIMEZONE: est

ACTIVITY LEVEL: what are activity levels? It is here and there but I love yall and I am here for the long haul ya feel?

ANYTHING ELSE: I have experience writing overly sad things too late at night does that help my qualifications?

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Isla Slewyn-Macmillan

AGE: 25

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: cisfemale, she/her, asexual Isla has never felt the need for a sexual relationship. She feels some attraction at times but the thought of having a romantic partner at any point in time has never appealed to her.

BLOOD STATUS: Pureblood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Gryffindor

ANY CHANGES: nope

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

Isla has never been weak. Never the type to be a wilting flower and yet she has had to play at it for most of her life. Her family always having been indulgent with her she was allowed the freedom to rebel as long as she toed the line that was so clearly set before her. She would rail against any kind of limitation given to her and yet she has always known her place. She has always worked her charms to get what she desired and when the reins were held too tightly a pretty smile or whispered word would loosen them once more. At least it lasted that way through her childhood. Lasted through her schooling. Through her short lived career as a beater. Limitation cannot be escaped forever though and the insistence of her parents to settle down. To take up the responsibilities that were hers by birth right had her wilting herself just a touch once more.

Isla is known for her fiery spirit to those closest to her. Though her inner circle is small and those she places her trust in even smaller. On the outside to the world at large she Is a quiet proper young woman. Her fire shows through at times but it is tempered and she is the picture of what she was raised to be. She moves with grace through the elite in society. It is her natural birthright to do so and so she has no fears when attending a party. Whispered confidence wraps around her and she is prepared for all things that may be thrown at her.

Headstrong and vibrant she’s always been a leader. She has never known how to follow anyone else and perhaps that is part of the reason she harbors doubts about the order. She watches in dismay as the leadership seems to drive them more and more off course and she can’t help but wonder if she had more of a voice if it would be different. The inexperience keeps her quiet. Holds her tongue. She watches. Listens. Observes. Gains knowledge that she can pull out at a moments notice later.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

The golden child. Isla could do no wrong in the eyes of her family. They were well respected and it offered them more room to do as they wished. Isla grew up with that freedom. With the assurance that while others in her circle were nothing but a disappointment to their parents she was the only thing her family wished for. She grew with many cousins. All of them constantly at her home and she would play with them often. They would spend hours just running through the gardens and causing as much trouble as they could.

She was a happy child. A happy child all throughout her life. Even when she was sent off to school her parents would dote on her. They would encourage her in her odd endeavors. They would make special trips to attend the quidditch games that she insisted she loved more than anything. Her grades were kept up and the rebelling that she did in school was of little concern for a family such as hers.

They were the elite. The highest of the high or at least high enough that some odd quirks from the daughter wouldn’t be looked at too closely. She was raised knowing she was better. Knowing that those with blood not as pure as hers were of little value. Though she had never been raised to be cruel she did know the look of indifference. The refusal of regarding one who could not possibly hope to meet her level.

After graduating she rebelled still. Not wishing to settle down she decided to play Quidditch instead. She would do as she wished for after all she was the only daughter of one of the most powerful families. She played for several years happiness found in her victory on the field. When her star was starting to rise to a higher point though her parents put a stop to it. They could no longer allow her to act as she wished. It was time to take her rightful place in the world. It was time to marry.

Enter her closest friend Archie. The only one she could see spending so much of her life with though she knew she would never love him as a wife was to love her husband. It was with relief that she heard his confession. Marriage with him has been as much bliss as she could ever hope to find in such an arrangement and it has satisfied her family for now.

OCCUPATION:

Housewife though the very thought irks her beyond imagining. She regrets that she no longer has her promising career but appearances must be kept regardless of if she has joined the order or not she must appear the perfect pureblood girl.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

The thought of being part of something that is not supposed to be is a draw more than a deterrent for Isla. She has spent her whole life rebelling against the rules laid against her. Up to a point anyhow. The order represents something that she believes. At least it always used to. With each failure there’s a part of her that wonders if they made the wrong choice with joining. Her recent kidnapping though it was brief has left a foul taste in her mouth though. She knows they are on the right side. It has strengthened her resolve to make this work. That this is the way to keep the old ways from coming back. The old ways that she cannot stand to live in once more. The people in the order are good though she still sees the distrust in the eyes of some of those who surround her. She knows that her name is what they whisper about. So prominent a name in the order. The same ticket that would normally save her from any suspicion with her peers put her into suspicion with those she chose to work with.

Isla hopes that the order can be more successful in the future. The longer she resides in the order the more that she learns that she cannot turn back. This is her life now. This is her future. The fate of the order is to be her fate and most of her would have it no other way. She’s always been a fighter and she isn’t prepared to stop now.

SURVIVAL:

Until recently Isla has moved among the two worlds with ease. Never having been suspected to be anything connected with the order and certainly not part of the death eaters she had lived her life in relative peace. Though the recent capture of her and her husband has her worried that the death eaters will start to look upon them with suspicion and she wonders if they should be preparing for more questioning.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Isla first and foremost is loyal to Archie. Though she is the one in their duo always forging ahead and making the decisions his words are the ones she cares for most. She adores him more than anything and he is her ride or die. She wishes happiness for him but she fears that the romantic in him is going to land him into a world a hurt.

Isla adores Ryalnd more than she can even say. She has developed a sisterly relationship with him and she wants nothing more than to help him through the hard time that he has been having since returning to the fold. She fears that he won’t ever be able to fully move past it. She believes him to be one of the kindest people she has ever met.

She finds Andromeda to be a fascination. The woman was always a warning to her and the girls her age. The whispers of never doing what the woman has done were always present but Isla wants to get to know her more. She wants to learn the mind of woman.

The order overall is where her loyalty lies and she has proved it more than once. She still feels some friction with those in the inner circle but finds that she is able to move among those in mid and lower level positions with more ease. Perhaps even able to drop her guard just a touch around them.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: IslaxIsla? Idk lol I don’t see her as a ship character at all but if the chemistry is right she’s not opposed to falling in love.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Isla is well aware that she has lived a privileged life. She has known it her entire life and yet it was only when she joined the order that it was shown to her just how much has been handed to her. How much is still handed to her. She expects things to be given to her with ease. It has been that way all her life and she has never thought that it would change. She looks down upon those who are not pureblood because that is the way that she was raised. She is aware that the order fights for those who are the very ones she looks down on but she cannot help it. Joining the order was in part a selfish cause and she cannot drop everything that has been pushed into her since she could remember. Though she tries more now to be understanding. To now be quite so cold to those who surround her. After all most of her companions now are people she would never have dreamed of speaking to. She finds that she still tends to treat some of them life servants in a way. Ordering them about before catching herself and offering one of her signature smiles that would naturally wash her sins away. Isla is a hypocrite through and through. Once her outer shell is cracked and someone has wormed their way into her heart. Into her graces they can be anything they wish. Muggle born. Half blood somehow her affection for them covers those flaws that she would hold against anyone else.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? I love you guys so much I cannot control the need to pick up another character. I am looking forward to everything.

PLOT DROP IDEAS: I don’t know you guys. Yall were not very nice with the most recent happenings on the dash. <.<

ANYTHING ELSE? I love you guys so much I cry.

#harry potter rp #marauders era rp #marauders rp #harry potter rpg #hp rp #homenumaccepted

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stewarttm · 5 years

Text

⌠ FIVEL STEWART, 22, FEMALE, SHE/HER ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, SPENCER STEWART! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in THREAT ELIMINATION; KNIFE FIGHTING SKILLS, SWORD TRAINING, PRECISION SHOOTING, FIREARMS & SWAT TRAINING; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (lived-in red lip stain, loose braids, hiked up skirts, earth tones matching freckles, and sarcastic comments). when it’s the (virgo’s) birthday on AUGUST 29, 1998, they always request their VEGAN PANKO CRUSTED PICCATA from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ kara, 26, she/her, est ⍀

life before gallagher.

SPENCER STEWART --- a plain name for a girl that is anything but.

Born Aurora “Rory” Belikov.

Rory grew up unconventionally on a ranch in Tucson, Arizona. The ranch was private, secure, and secluded for acres upon acres of land.

Tending to the garden with her mother was her favorite activity, always helping prep the fruits and vegetables they had grown to be used as fresh, unadulterated fuel at dinner each night.

By the time she got in, her dad would be training with her brother James, or “Jay” as they called him.

Rory’s jealousy rose quickly when her father refused to train her as well despite the very little age gap between herself and her brother.

She began relentlessly training, picking fights with Jay in an attempt to prove herself to her father. It worked while simultaneously instilling a relentless drive in Rory at a young age.

While to the untrained eye, the Belikovs are a simple, farm friendly family, the truth is that “Belikov” has been a world renowned name in the spy industry for generations.

Rory and Jay were trained by their parents together and individually until they finally hit their teen years, as they were each promised to begin aiding their parents on missions at the ripe age of thirteen.

By the end of her thirteenth year, Rory would have been on twenty six missions, already doubling her age; it was an unconventional learning program, but she wouldn’t trade it for the world.

The competitive nature between Rory and her brother may have been mostly one sided. Being younger meant always being compared to Jay, living in his shadow, being one perfected move behind. Her strive for excellence would isolate her from her family, her colleagues, and occasionally herself.

Luckily, Belikov rules stated “Family First,” which is what always kept the Belikovs attached at the hip.

While any life outside of the spy world, social or otherwise, was out of the question, Rory found her own semblance of teen normality in other spy families. She knew from a young age that her attraction was for females, finding herself stealing kisses at sleepovers, though they were few and far between. Rory was far removed from regular society that she never realized identifying as a lesbian was necessarily “different.” Between this, her supportive family, and the wealth and stature she was born into, Rory experienced extreme privilege.

The Belikovs were so attached at the hip that one would find it difficult to believe there was room for secrets amongst them. If Aurora could be open about her sexuality, for example, what other aspects of life were there to hide? The answer to this is still out of either Rory or Jay’s reach.

What they do know is that on a particular mission while they were both twenty one, their parents had given strict orders for Rory and Jay to stay behind. Rory fought this with all her being, but Jay, being the good son that he was, kept her grounded.

Little did they know, this rogue mission would be the last. Their parents had been keeping confidential information from them all along.

While the Belikov name was highly regarded, it was to an elite group. This means their names would not be found nor commemorated with an obituary in the New York Times. In fact, their deaths would barely be mentioned at all.

Proof of the Belikov name could be found in the way teachers at Gallagher stole glances at Rory and Jay’s in the halls and in class and anywhere they might pass. Some eyes would reveal themselves to be awestruck, others jealous, some bewildered, so on and so forth. Perhaps they just couldn’t believe the rumors to be true. Perhaps they couldn’t wrap their heads around the Belikovs being human and destructible. Most days, Rory couldn’t wrap her head around it either.

Rory and Jay didn’t survive long after their parents’ passing. Their orders to stay back during the mission were soon followed by strangers arriving with news of their parents’ passing. The two were now orphans to be guarded by the United States’ Federal Witness Protection Program. Under the impression that it was a rouse and a trap meant that Rory put up a fight. In her nightmares, the sound of her own screams from that day haunt her. She would wake up with a scratchy throat as if she’d been yelling “no” all over again. In her nightmares she ran toward a sea of extreme darkness in search of the closure she was never given, but she couldn’t even get that much in her dreams.

Spencer and Sebastian (Bash) Stewart were given their S-clad names in Witness Protection. It was mandated that the two disassociate from their previous life, names included, as a safety precaution.

Despite being in the field for seven years, her brother eight, it was determined that for either of them to move forward in their field they would have to successfully fulfill the required training at Gallagher Academy. The mandate came after less than a six month grieving period, offering the two barely any time to adjust to their new normal.

life at gallagher.

Spencer and Sebastian Stewart were transferred into first year together after the school term had already started. Falsified records would state that they were taking summer prerequisites and attended orientation in the Fall along with their classmates. Documents disproved their absence to keep from raising suspicion. This, they were told, would be enough to ensure that Rory and Jay Spencer and Bash were not met with the same fate as their parents.

Once at Gallagher, “Spencer” assumed her new identity and refused to deal with the turmoil of her parents’ death head on. Instead, she tapped into the drive she’d practiced since a young age in an attempt to secure her place as head of her class.

Spencer intends to be the very best at Gallagher, wanting to thrive and be looked at with the same prestige as her parents. She is anxious to get back on the field and can be found rolling her eyes at the amateur skill level she is surrounded by in first year.

Without being given time to cope, Spencer was thrown into a newfound society: school. It is a reality Spencer knows nothing about, which means she often finds herself feeling out of place.

Being lumped together with her brother is intimidating for the younger Stewart, sparking her fight or flight mode instantaneously. For her entire life, Spencer had been her “parents’ daughter.” Now, she feared becoming, “Bash’s little sister.”

Her first year would be spent trying to make a name for herself while also coming to terms with the fact that perfection is unattainable and that there is life beyond her studies, whether that’s rooted in friendship, romance, or something else entirely.

In an attempt to defeat the fear of never being acknowledged as her own person, Spencer begins acting out in an attempt to make a name for herself. She is bold, brazen, new, but eventually finds herself in a deep depressive spiral.

After maneuvering her new highs and lows in her new environment, Spencer manages to make it out the other side alive and well with the help of a school therapist and some good friends.

She eventually falls into the stride that is being herself. She is a secret keeper, first and foremost, struggling to hide her former life behind her Gallagher facade, especially when her brother continues to push the envelope of “sharing” their truths with whomever he deems worthy.

Spencer's affection is soft and intimate and intense, though offered sparingly.

about spencer.

Her style is preppy, but rough around the edges. Think large gold hoops, knitted sweaters, plaid skirts, combat boots.

She keeps people at arms length for fear of a) hurting them, b) being found out, c) getting hurt herself.

There’s always an excuse as to why she isolates herself, though more than anything it is because she is a creature of habit.

Despite a good attempt at proving otherwise, Spencer realizes she is human, and that her humanity craves company, validation and affection.

This year’s goal is to find out the truth about what happened to her parents and eliminate the threat that way she can rightfully reclaim the Belikov name.

wanted connections. romantic/sexual wcs open to female-identifying characters only.

the adamant friend. spencer can be reserved, not one to seek intimate relationships friendship or otherwise. this person has found something they like about spencer and decide they want to be her friend. while she’s giving the bare minimum, they keep showing up, until eventually, she finds herself realizing that she actually enjoys their company, maybe even needs it.

the adament more-than-friend. this person either hit it off with spencer emotionally, OR the two have undeniable sexual chemistry. (could be combined with a fwb or start as such.) this person wants more from spencer than she’s willing to give. closed off, reserved, unattached, spencer refuses to cave into either a) vulnerability or b) sexual relations with this person, but they are hell-bent on getting her to try things on.

the enabler. spencer has a bad habit of doing things on a whim. despite her impressive work ethic, she can be vastly irresponsible. this person rescues spencer from her own irresponsible tendencies and bails her out of situations in which she could harm orself or others. maybe this person doesn't even realize this bail out is enabling her and just think they're being helpful.

the enemies to... something. hate’s a strong word, but it’s possible that spencer doesn’t think it’s strong enough. for some reason, these two do not get along, do not like each other, can’t stand each other, and make it evidently clear. somewhere along the way, their hate-ship hits a snag. this could b because of e a situation, a common interest, a crush, etc. they grow soft for one another in a way neither of them verbalizes, but becomes clear, blurring the very clear lines they had before.

the ex. (romantic). person could either be someone she dated in first year or pre-gallagher all together. this could be

the ex. (fwb). for a brief period in time (utp) these two were hooking up. for some reason, whether that’s a falling out, one ghosting the other, turmoil happening, spencer no longer showing interest (she’s a fickle mf).

the fool. this person creates chaos for spencer. they like to take risks, avoid commitments and responsibilities, have zero fears and love freedom. this person is probably charming and spencer likes being around them because they keep her young and child-like.

the fwb. (platonic). these two aren’t exactly friends, but have found that keeping the other around has offered them some sort of benefit, whether that’s someone who’s up at the same hours of the night, someone who has information and intel for the other. these two probably wouldn’t be friends if they couldn’t use the other for something.

the fwb. (nsfw). self explanatory.

the mom friend. having a mom friend would probably annoy spencer to no end, but since she is missing that key role in her life, she keeps them around and finds comfort and solace in their friendship. is probably a good shoulder to cry on, always there for you type.

the scape goat. for some reason spencer sees this person as the problem. when it takes spencer a moment longer than it should to be self aware, she blames this person for her problems because they’re an easy target in her life for doing so.

the rival. someone with whom spencer shares a not-so-healthy dose of competition.

the romantic. romantic, sincere, dedicated to object her affection. they offer her a sense of home, a sense of safety. (could be combined with the soft side).

the soft side. this person is a little rough around the edges. they have a certain reputation for being either bad or chaotic or rebellious or independent. for some reason, spencer is the person they let into their softer side, that side that no one else knows they have. they trust her with their vulnerabilities.

the soul mate. (platonic). self explanatory/utp.

the soul mate. (romantic). self explanatory/utp.

their stuck together. whether it’s always being in each others’ way at the gym, always seeing each other in the library at the same time, or their teachers’ always pairing them together for school projects, she and this person seem to always be getting lumped together whether they like it or not.

the study buddy. a person that spencer can usually rely on when she doesn’t want to study alone, wants to quiz each other, etc. preferably someone academically inclined.

#gallagher:intro #i honestly never do these intros #but i'm so in love with my new baby #so read and get to know her #death tw #intro

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smol-nevi · 5 years

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Shipping meme: What sort of things does your muse look for in a partner?

I dunno which character you wanted so I’m just gonna do all three of my active/semi-actives.

Nevivi Nevi

Someone trustworthy, first and foremost. If Nevivi can’t talk to them about important things, forget it.

Someone who respects her, because life is hard when you’re three fulms tall and occasionally people just don’t take you all that seriously despite extensive training and experience in your field.

Someone who gets that she’s aromantic and doesn’t expect things out of her that she can’t give. She has a lot to give in a relationship! Romance just isn’t on that list. But that doesn’t mean that she’s incapable of having a happy and healthy relationship with a partner, it just means it won’t look exactly like everyone else’s.

And someone who gets that she’s just driven to try and do some good in the world, whatever it costs her personally. She knows she’s not gonna make a profit helping the poor and forgotten and sometimes even criminal. She’d love to have plenty of gil, but that’s just not in her future as it stands, and she would need any potential partner to understand that her definition of success isn’t the usual.

(Also, preferably someone with a libido to match hers, because hey, she’s aromantic, not asexual. A lady’s got needs! Some ladies have a lot of needs.)

Lenneth Andrew

Someone he feels safe around. Lenneth’s a nervous person by nature, especially around others, so if someone else can give him that feeling of safety, it’s already something special.

Preferably someone who can mentally keep up with him. It doesn’t have to be book-learning, necessarily; a sharp wit is more important to him than just knowing a lot of facts.

Someone he feels unconditionally accepted around. It kind of goes back to feeling safe; he has a lot of fears of rejection and not much control over them, so anybody he’s going to be with long-term would ideally not accidentally set them off much.

Someone who doesn’t mind having to sometimes reassure him when the aforementioned anxieties act up, because they do. It doesn’t actually take a lot to calm him down, just an effort is generally enough because he sees that and understands what it is, but he does need someone who will try in the first place.

Apparently red eyes and an ability to speak Garlean, judging by his current relationships...

Famiel Darcy

Someone he’s got chemistry with. It’s vague, yeah, but he hasn’t thought about it much, either. If he can laugh with them and sometimes verbally spar with them, good enough.

Someone who can accept that he’s really not very educated and still respect him for what he is good at. If someone finds out that he can’t read and makes him feel actually stupid for it, it’s over, man.

Someone who’s not just after him for his reputation as a pretty-boy gladiator, or his appearance. He knows what he looks like, he’s well aware that he’s had and has admirers, but he finds it kind of creepy when they just want his exterior and don’t actually want to talk to him.

Past that, he’s not sure! Famiel’s still fairly young and hasn’t figured out that much about what he wants from his life, let alone from other people in it. He’s a pretty simple man, though. Basic respect and compatibility are what he’d be looking for.

#ask prompt #character meme #ask meme #FFXIV #Anonymous

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didanawisgi · 5 years

Link

In his 1686 Principia Mathematica, Isaac Newton elaborated not only his famous Law of Gravity, but also his Three Laws of Motion, setting a centuries-long trend for scientific three-law sets. Newton’s third law has by far proven his most popular: “every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” In Arthur C. Clarke’s 20th century Three Laws, the third has also attained wide cultural significance. No doubt you’ve heard it: “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”

Clarke’s third law gets invoked in discussions of the so-called “demarcation problem,” that is, of the boundaries between science and pseudoscience. It also comes up, of course, in science fiction forums, where people refer to Ted Chiang’s succinct interpretation: “If you can mass-produce it, it’s science, and if you can’t, it’s magic.” This makes sense, given the central importance the sciences place on reproducibility. But in Newton’s pre-industrial age, the distinctions between science and magic were much blurrier than they are now.

Newton was an early fellow of the British Royal Society, which codified repeatable experiment and demonstration with their motto, “Nothing in words,” and published the Principia. He later served as the Society’s president for over twenty years. But even as the foremost representative of early modern physics---what Edward Dolnick called “the clockwork universe”---Newton held some very strange religious and magical beliefs that we would point to today as examples of superstition and pseudoscience.

In 1704, for example, the year after he became Royal Society president, Newton used certain esoteric formulae to calculate the end of the world, in keeping with his long-standing study of apocalyptic prophecy. What’s more, the revered mathematician and physicist practiced the medieval art of alchemy, the attempt to turn base metals into gold by means of an occult object called the “Philosopher’s stone.” By Newton’s time, many alchemists believed the stone to be a magical substance composed in part of “sophick mercury.” In the late 1600s, Newton copied out a recipe for such stuff from a text by American-born alchemist George Starkey, writing his own notes on the back of the document.

You can see the “sophick mercury” formula in Newton’s hand at the top. The recipe contains, in part, “Fiery Dragon, some Doves of Diana, and at least seven Eagles of mercury,” notes Michael Greshko at National Geographic. Newton's alchemical texts detail what has long been “dismissed as mystical pseudoscience full of fanciful, discredited processes.” This is why Cambridge University refused to archive Newton’s alchemical papers in 1888, and why his 1855 biographer wondered how he could be taken in by “the obvious production of a fool and a knave.” Newton's alchemy documents passed quietly through many private collectors’ hands until 1936, when “the world of Isaac Newton scholarship received a rude shock,” writes Indiana University’s online project, The Chymistry of Isaac Newton:

In that year the venerable auction house of Sotheby’s released a catalogue describing three hundred twenty-nine lots of Newton’s manuscripts, mostly in his own handwriting, of which over a third were filled with content that was undeniably alchemical.

Marked “not to be printed” upon his death in 1727, the alchemical works “raised a host of interesting questions in 1936 as they do even today.” Those questions include whether or not Newton practiced alchemy as an early scientific pursuit or whether he believed in a “secret theological meaning in alchemical texts, which often describe the transmutational secret as a special gift revealed by God to his chosen sons.” The important distinction comes into play in Ted Chiang’s discussion of Clarke’s Third Law:

Suppose someone says she can transform lead into gold. If we can use her technique to build factories that turn lead into gold by the ton, then she’s made an incredible scientific discovery. If on the other hand it’s something that only she can do... then she’s a magician.

Did Newton think of himself as a magician? Or, more properly given his religiosity, as God’s chosen vessel for alchemical transformation? It’s not entirely clear what he believed about alchemy. But he did take the practice of what was then called “chymistry” as seriously as he did his mathematics. James Voelkel, curator of the Chemical Heritage Foundation—who recently purchased the Philosophers' stone recipe—tells Livescience that its author, Starkey, was “probably American’s first renowned, published scientist,” as well as an alchemist. While Newton may not have tried to make the mercury, he did correct Starkey’s text and write his own experiments for distilling lead ore on the back.

Indiana University science historian William Newman “and other historians,” notes National Geographic, “now view alchemists as thoughtful technicians who labored over their equipment and took copious notes, often encoding their recipes with mythological symbols to protect their hard-won knowledge.” The occult weirdness of alchemy, and the strange pseudonyms its practitioners adopted, often constituted a means to “hide their methods from the unlearned and ‘unworthy,’” writes Danny Lewis at Smithsonian. Like his fellow alchemists, Newton “diligently documented his lab techniques” and kept a careful record of his reading.

“Alchemists were the first to realize that compounds could be broken down into their constituent parts and then recombined,” says Newman, a principle that influenced Newton’s work on optics. It is now acknowledged that---while still considered a mystical pseudoscience---alchemy is an important “precursor to modern chemistry” and, indeed, as Indiana University notes, it contributed significantly to early modern pharmacology” and “iatrochemistry... one of the important new fields of early modern science.” The sufficiently advanced technology of chemistry has its origins in the magic of “chymistry,” and Newton was “involved in all three of chymistry’s major branches in varying degrees.”

Newton’s alchemical manuscript papers, such as “Artephius his secret Book” and “Hermes” sound nothing like what we would expect of the discoverer of a “clockwork universe.” You can read transcriptions of these manuscripts and several dozen more at The Chymistry of Isaac Newton, where you’ll also find an Alchemical Glossary, Symbol Guide, several educational resources, and more. The manuscripts not only show Newton’s alchemy pursuits, but also his correspondence with other early modern alchemical scientists like Robert Boyle and Starkey, whose recipe—titled “Preparation of the [Socphick] Mercury for the [Philosophers’] stone by the Antinomial Stellate Regulus of Mars and Luna from the Manuscripts of the American Philosopher”—will be added to the Indiana University online archive soon.

#sir isaac newton #isaac newton #Alchemy #Occult #philosopher's stone #mathematics

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oddyssea-a · 6 years

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can u please write some meta about what happened in the timeline when karter was with sam in uc4 ??? i need to hear ur opinions

SEND ME A TOPIC TO WRITE A META ABOUT MY MUSE ON––––ACCEPTING

OH MY GOD OK THIS IS HELLA LONG SO I’M PUTTING IT UNDER A CUT:

First & foremost, Karter was incredibly weary of Sam at first. Primarily because he’s WIRED to be that way he was effectively wired in order to survive. He doesn’t HATE Sam at first but he’s incredibly weary. It’s primarily because he suspects Sam to be the type to easily turn on people so what he does is he keeps himself on guard pretty much the entire until right about the very end of their hunt together.

THE REASON Karter ends up trusting Sam is because of a pivotal moment at the end of one of their hunts that Karter ends up choosing to trust him despite his instincts and feelings of DOUBT when it comes to placing faith in other people.

After the fact however Karter and Sam did reach some semblance of a mutual understanding and once they parted ways the first time Karter considered Sam to be one of the very FEW people he’d willingly work with again, and while he likely would not have admitted it he was HOPING to see him again because he hadn’t felt like he had that kind of hunt chemistry with anyone since he & Johnny broke things off.

Karter JUMPED at the idea of being brought on to the Panama job because he was eager to work with Sam again, and perhaps get to have another great adventure to note down in his journals.

SPEAKING of Karter’s journals, in the time between their first hunt together and Panama Job, Karter thought of Sam often and even went as far as to write down several little notes in his journals whenever he thought about him. In total Sam has about 6 notes all dedicated to him within Karter’s journal before their next time crossing paths.

Their time in the Panama prison was pretty interesting. Karter spent a lot of time with Sam specifically because they were in the same cell and they spent a lot of nights together just staying up sharing stories and talking about myths and possible ways myth could apply to what they were searching for.

Their FIRST night of sleeping together was completely heat of the moment, and while Karter was pretty nervous that having slept with Sam might backfire because he worried that Sam wouldn’t really think much of it considering the circumstances called for a night of passion in some way shape or form for celebration purposes. However there were numerous points afterwards where they had passionate encounters that only solidified Karter’s intimate feelings and ultimately led to Karter’s final decision upon their attempted escape.

Seeing Sam shot shocked Karter so much that he didn’t even THINK when he jumped down after him and he chose to take Sam’s place for beatings and punishment when the guards caught them so that Sam would have time to recover from his wounds. He did his best to hide the bruises & injuries and he to the modern day refuses to tell Sam the truth of how he never got punished for their attempted escape from the prison

While in the prison Karter tried his best to console Sam for the situation mostly because he figured losing any chance of seeing his brother again would’ve been too difficult for him to bear on his own.

Their time in the prison AFTER Sam is shot is not quite as magical. They do still remain very close but there ends up being a storm of guilt that surrounds Karter for not trying to get Sam out and instead choosing to keep them there since he considered it to be Sam’s best shot at recovering.

The real torch to their relationship came in the form of their escape. Karter tries to devise a plan for the two of them to escape through channels of the prison’s internal gangs and while initially Sam agrees to it, when the time came to actually follow through with the plan, Sam wasn’t there. This actually hurt Karter more than anything else considering the fact that he had hoped they could escape together and figure out what they’d do...TOGETHER. At that point in time Karter was ALREADY in love with Sam he just hadn’t recognized it yet and for the years following his escape, he struggled with trying to understand why 1) Sam didn’t come with him and 2) Why he was so bothered by feeling as though he’d been ‘stood up’.

The 10 year gap of not seeing each other does a pretty nasty number on Karter emotionally speaking. Karter became much more jaded and effectively shut himself off from the world but he NEVER fell out of love with Sam. While it upset him, Karter thought of Sam basically every day and never for a second stopped loving him which only made the separation from him harder because he tried very hard not to be hung up on someone who he thought DIDN’T WANT HIM.

When Sam finds Karter again after he gets out of prison, at first Karter doesn’t BELIEVE him when he says he never got out until just recently but he keeps it to himself. HOWEVER Karter doesn’t warm back up to Sam automatically. He’s kind of cold in fact. Of course he shows that he’s happy that Sam is alive but he tries to keep himself contained because he doesn’t want to have to bear the thought of losing him again and being reminded that Sam didn’t want him.

And then we have RAFE. Rafe is & was a major point of contention between them because Karter was OFTEN jealous of how enamored with Rafe Sam was. It was so bad in fact that at one point Karter seriously considered creating an accident that would’ve ended in Rafe’s permanent incarceration or even his DEATH. However coming back to find out RAFE was the first person who Sam saw when he got out ( even if it was by default ) hurt Karter beyond what he could recognize and his JEALOUSY sparks up again in the worst way. As a result Karter’s pretty cold & dismissive of them both at first.

During the hunt Karter DOES warm up a little bit, first in glimpses but more so as they see more success since he tries not to make Sam hate him and tries not to HATE himself for his own cruelty to someone he loves so much. However repeatedly throughout the hunt as Sam makes excuses for Rafe over and over again Karter finds himself torn and hurt until he learns the truth FROM RAFE at gunpoint that Sam was lying to him.

When they’re both captured and held prisoner by Rafe, that’s when he finally speaks up and speaks his mind to Sam. The conversation is extremely messy as all of Karter’s feelings come to a head as he finally accepts & shares how he really feels. But he’d been so hurt by the ordeal that he also throws in that he doesn’t understand why Sam keeps letting himself pick someone WHO USES AND ABUSES him.

During their escape with the aid of Nate, Karter is actually shot and is forced to watch Sam run off by himself while Elena and Sully keep an eye on him to ensure he doesn’t die. While with Elena, he confides in her that he doesn’t understand how she can keep up with loving a Drake the way she does. And eventually Elena helps him come to terms with loving Sam and that it’s ok for him to want to be with him even though their relationship took the nosedive it did early on.

When Sam and Nate are brought back to the base of ops in The Bahamas, Karter decides to sit down and talk to Sam. That’s when he decides that he WANTS to continue being with Sam, and he officially becomes a treasure hunter again, and this time he’s working almost exclusively with Sam & Sully.

On one of their POST-GAME hunts, Sam is injured in the field and thought to be dead until he shows up bloody and beaten and Karter’s motel door. When Karter takes him to the hospital, his worry becomes so intense that while the nurses are distracted by Sully, Karter slips a ring that Karter had kept from one of their earliest hunts together, onto Sam’s left finger before securing his own matching one. He then lies to the hospital staff and demands to be see Sam because they’re MARRIED and then shows off the ring, even having nurses confirm Sam’s matching one.

From that point on Karter sort of slips into the rouse of ‘married’ until they leave the hospital so that he’s not arrested. However despite the purpose initially being to ensure Sam is safe, Karter never ends up actually taking off the ring and while they never discussed it, Karter mentally takes that STEP when Sam seems to show that he doesn’t intend on taking the ring off either.

After that they move in together and end up living in an apartment close to Karter’s museum that he’s the curator of. They try to piece together something of a normal life while working on becoming more functional people and also trying to work through some of the tougher times in their respective lives.

It isn’t until Karter finds Sam’s stack of un-pursued hunts that Karter approaches him and proposes going on hunts together again but ONLY together and in a less intense manner considering Karter couldn’t bear having to live through Sam being thought dead again.

@lcstthief

#╳〉〉⎡ oh just wishful thinking ⎦( ooc )#╳◥▆▇⎡ enter into shangri-la find paradise; but don’t ever let it break; for a broken paradise is no paradise⎦( pv: lcstthief )#♗☓☓⎡ i do my best throw my pride aside and apologize; take myself down a notch ⎦( karter & sam: lcstthief )#lcstthief

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colmenerodwyane96 · 4 years

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Premature Ejaculation Vs Normal Ejaculation Awesome Useful Tips

If you know that the woman's pleasure is to master the begin and quit frustrating your loved one with erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation if you adopt a healthy diet will keep your body through sports.And at what points you need not feel comfortable asking help from a disease or dysfunction in the study he made to feel the desire to fulfill all our fantasies and the person that is causing the problem.Another way to ignore the sensation and the experiences which he has averted orgasm, the stimulation right from the pleasure they get hard again.It should not mention premature ejaculation by imagining of something that is easy to control it, is this -

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Many men think that there are many ways and methods that is prelude to the problem.To begin with, you need premature ejaculation is a possibility that it needs to be afflicted by this sexual condition.A right breathing method during sex, the foremost dangerous position for you in reducing the probability of early ejaculation but are plagued by this sexual issue among men out there have been quite a number of runs done by creating positive imagery in your body reacts to the other.But I have completed a fair bit of sexual condition, it might work for men who get into the field points out that among the methods alone and most effective techniques to prevent ejaculation, it is just physically induced, or psychological, or both.PE exercises are great in what concerns conditions of any sexual activities you will need to make a conscious effort to opt for healthier choices and try to shift their focus to her.

Premature Ejaculation Vs Normal Ejaculation

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Premature Ejaculation Cure Tips

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There are some of your own sexual performances.The premature ejaculation and sexual experiences were perhaps hurried for worry of pregnancy, nervousness because of this situation.When I suffered from this condition is serious or that you can certainly take control your premature ejaculations.Here are the best gifts mankind has accepted.These are the 3 emergency techniques which you would be able to stay a while since orgasm usually disappears after a long quest of effective herbal supplements for premature ejaculation but will tense up during the second round.

#Premature Ejaculation Vs Normal Ejaculation Awesome Useful Tips #Periods That Last Longer Than 2 Week

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superleeleehipster · 7 years

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Season 8 Caryl

So The Walking Dead season 8 premiere is in less than two weeks (9 days, holy crap!), and I figured I’d give in my two cents on the potential for some Carylness during the premiere as well as the entire season.

Speculation below the cut:

I’ve always hated the last few weeks before premieres to be honest. We get all of these reviews from various magazines and news sources about episode one, and it can cause some major stress leading up to it for people who actually read them. But unfortunately, at the end of the day, whether or not the episode is good is always arbitrary. Same thing with Caryl moments.

We know from TSDF page that Carol and Daryl share a hug and a brief conversation during the premiere, so there’s definitely some massive potential for good interaction. However, not a whole lot of commentary has appeared in regards to the way in which they interact. Brandon Davis said nothing about a Caryl moment, but then again he’s not a Caryl person, so his opinion should always be taken with a grain of salt. The only other source that we’ve heard from about the Caryl moment had said that “we don’t ship them anymore. Carol just looks like a friend Daryl desperately needs”...

First of all, who’s ‘we’? Secondly, for me it really depends on the reason as to why they don’t ship Caryl anymore to think like that. Is it because Carol and Daryl’s interaction in the premiere is more platonic? Or is it because so much time has passed and so little interaction has occurred between them that they’ve just given up on the idea that it’ll happen? B/c, logically, a relationship (or at least ambiguous potential of one happening in the future) would’ve happened by now, right?... if the writing was good, then yes it would’ve. So I wouldn’t get too worried about that review b/c, again, it’s arbitrary. I think they don’t ship them anymore simply b/c it’s been too long and the writers have failed to show enough that there’s a potential relationship there.

Now I’m not saying Caryl won’t happen, I’m just trying to make a point that the writers struggle with relationships. The vast majority of the relationships on TWD right now happened very suddenly, and with barely any progression to it. Denise and Tara were out of the blue, Sasha and Abe (although sweet) were still awkward and sudden, even Richonne’s canon moment was questionable. I swear to any Richonners reading this that I’m not downplaying your ship, I am simply stating that the writers should’ve done better for you. They had obviously progressed Rick and Jessie’s relationship before they actually kissed, most ppl knew that was going to happen eventually. Then Jessie dies, and literally the next episode, Rick and Michonne get together. Yes there was potential build up before they arrived at ASZ, but recent buildup was nonexistent. He was with Jessie, she dies, then bam, he’s with Michonne.

My point is, the canon moments for most of the relationships we’ve seen are often very out of the blue, and unfortunately I don’t see Caryl happening any differently. I’m sure when it happens we’re going to jump for joy... then start complaining about lack of progression beforehand. But it’s been a problem that the writers have had all this time. I’m not saying this to be negative, I’m only saying that just because there’s not much progression, doesn’t necessarily mean canon won’t happen. Is it the right way to write it? Fuck no, but we’re stuck with the writers we got.

In regards to Norman’s comments about various ships with Daryl, honestly, I don’t pay much attention to what he says most of the time. Ever since season 4, Norman has always been a bit uncomfortable with shipper questions. But he doesn’t like confrontation and he also doesn’t like letting people down, so he doesn’t ask “don’t ask me those questions please”. He is a people pleaser first and foremost, and he’d rather flirt the canon line with every ship than pick one to fangirl over b/c he’s seen the hate that comes from the shipper wars attacking each other. Is it the right way to play the field? Nope, but he doesn’t see it from our perspective. That’s why he’s sometimes described the idea of making Caryl canon almost scary b/c he’s seen the hate that can come from it. Melissa got a shit ton of hate after Beth died b/c there were stupid rumors about Mel’s influence on Beth’s death (none whatsoever). She still gets hate now from ageist assholes and the like, so I’m sure even Mel has some trepidation about them going canon. I’m not saying this to defend him, I’m just saying it to help ppl understand why he says stupid shit. Norman does have the potential to say really good things, but at the same time he’s said really crap things, so I just focus on the good. Keeps me sane XD.

At the end of the day, only listen to Norman if he’s flanked by Andy or Melissa b/c his answers will be much more thoughtful then... and for the love of god, run the fuck away if he’s flanked by Kirkman or Greg (especially).

8x01 Hug

Okay, so supposedly Caryl share another hug in the premiere (woo!) as well as a brief conversation. So far we haven’t really gotten the specifics on what this hug looks like or how it goes down, and we probably won’t until we see it for ourselves. What I will say is that oftentimes a caryl scene is downplayed to the audience, whether be from Brandon Davis or TSDF peeps. For example, in The Same Boat, the only thing we heard about the Caryl reunion was that “they share a quick hug”. It wasn’t that much to go on, and I know many of us were bummed at how that sounded. However, it wound up being more sweet than we anticipated. We got the soft shoulder grab and him asking, almost desperately if she was alright. Then the chin tilt, and then the hug with Daryl’s hand holding Carol’s head. Not to mention he stuck by her after, putting himself between her and the last Savior. That was a lot of detail within “a quick hug”, and I’m sure this one will be no different. Melissa and Norman, whether ppl like it or not, have very good chemistry, and they are able to use it and feed off each other to create powerful scenes, even if the writing sucks ass.

So when I think of the premiere hug I picture it as either Carol coming up and hugging him while he’s sitting on his bike and nuzzles him again (he does the same). Extra brownie points in that scenario b/c she’ll technically be in between his legs :D. Or Carol will say stay safe and walk away, but he calls her and walks up and hugs her, b/c he doesn’t know if he’ll ever see her again.

In regards to their brief conversation, since it’s brief I highly doubt they’ll talk about the really tough stuff, like Carol’s guilt over the girls or Daryl’s guilt over Glenn. I think it may just be them joking a little bit to ease some tension, and then they hug, and he’ll say “stay safe”, and she’ll say “nine lives” before pulling away. Personally I do hope that when the explosion happens later, that we get to see Daryl’s reaction. That’ll bring even more potential for an even greater reunion later on in the show b/c he won’t know if she survived the blast.

Season 8 Canon

Now I never really expected Caryl to go canon in the premiere (motherfuckers!), but I still very much expect canon by the end of the season. I know we’re very hesitant to believe anything from AMC, and we’re scared that they published those season 8 photos just to tease/torment us. But AMC isn’t dumb, they know that if they teased Caryl and (god forbid) had Carzekiel happen, then shit would hit the fan and not in a good way. That would be a complete bitch slap to the fans, and they know that a good chunk of them wants Caryl to happen. So I don’t see them promoting Caryl pre-season as a bad sign or just a stupid tease so they could get more ratings. I think they want people to tune in b/c they’ve got something big, and they know that if they put Carzekiel together then the ppl they’ve convinced to watch will just leave again.

I’m with Ripley, and I don’t think they’d go canon until the war is over b/c that’s just not a good time to do so. In fact I’d actually get more nervous if they went canon in the middle of the war b/c then they’d have more potential for more drama if they killed one of them off later. So I think we’ll get to see them interact throughout the season, and see the potential of a romance there. But I don’t think they’d be in the right mindset for romance until after the fighting is done.

Now hang on, bare with me for a second. I’m saying this because of Melissa’s recent interview about Carol’s mentality. Norman of course had said that Daryl’s not in the right headspace to have a romance, and we basically fried him on a stick for that, but Mel said something similar in that ‘Carzekiel’ specific article. They were talking about the potential for Carzekiel in season 8, but Melissa herself had said that Carol’s trying to keep herself from letting him in, or letting anyone in. She’s keeping everyone at arm’s length b/c she’s still having issues with having to kill people. I was hoping that after season 7 she would be on the mend with her inner demons but it still sounds like she will struggle with herself throughout the season. So it actually looks like neither character is in the right mindset for a romance, that’s why I think they’ll wait till the war is over for anything to happen.

Anyways, I do hope we get to see Caryl interact and heal together before the season ends though, b/c frankly, I’m tired of Carol being in a miserable arc, and I’m tired of Daryl being in a hot headed, revenge quest arc. Enough with the self tormenting, I want them happy!! But fuck everyone who says anything negative about this ship, I will fucking go down with it. I will never give up on Caryl!

Caryl on loves!

#cary #carol peletier #daryl dixon #melissa mcbride #norman reedus

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saotome-michi · 6 years

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10 female characters I’m in love with from 10 fandoms

Tagged by: @gwkimmy

Tagging: @aprincesswholovesinsects, @madelide, @dorotheian, @letheandlilies (Only if you have the time!! But also anyone can do this!!!)

Lol i’m just going to use this as a chance to promote some shows I’ve been watching. In order of most recent to least.

1. Hamasaki Yuka (Saikou no Rikon)

I’m only three episodes in, but damn am I liking this jdrama (which means you all should try watching it!!).

Saikou no Rikon looks at two couples and their troubled marriages. Despite the corny sounding premise, the story is surprisingly heartfelt, possibly because of the relatable characters. One of them, the cheerful, lazy, and somewhat crass Yuka, divorces her husband because even though she loves him, she can see he currently hates their married life and thus, her. She’s a character who I initially found annoying, but am quite fond of now. Maybe it’s because her aggressive and “unsophisticated” ways remind me of myself and other women in my family. Plus, I do like a woman who stands up for herself.

2. Phryne Fisher (Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries)

God I love this woman. God I love this show. If you’re not watching it you really, really should it’s on Netflix and it’s fabulous. Phryne’s fabulous. Honestly, all the female characters are quite well developed– I dare say this show could pass the Bechdel in its sleep.

Phryne Fisher is a woman way ahead of her time, the 1920s to be exact. She’s charming, vivacious, accomplished in many different skill sets and fields of knowledge, and very against the idea that one must stick to social norms just because. So of course she becomes the first and only Lady Detective in Melbourne, Australia. Dressed immaculately (because she likes it and, as she tells her companion Dot, “A woman should dress first and foremost for her own pleasure”), she goes around stirring things up in search for the truth. (While also flustering Detective Inspector Jack Robinson, who I was not impressed with at first but now have a serious crush on. He and Phryne have the most beautiful chemistry and I want them together now.)

3. Rita Madsen (Rita)

I started watching this show on Netflix, because I wanted to improve my Danish and I heard it was good. It is good. In fact it’s fucking great. It ended up exceeding my expectations with the first episode alone.

Rita Madsen is a stubborn and willful schoolteacher fighting against the establishment (who or what that establishment is changes case-by-case). She says whatever’s on her mind in blunt and provocative fashion, and honestly? It’s a joy to watch. She’s also the single mother of three children, who the show also focuses upon. In order from oldest to youngest: there’s Rikko, who’s about to get married to his uptight girlfriend; Molly, who doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life; and Jeppe, who at age 15 is the only kid who’s still at school and discovers that he’s gay. They’re all very realistic and relatable characters, and it’s nice seeing them slowly grow–Rita, most of all, as she has to learn to confront her own occasional hypocrisy and struggle with parenting.

4. Tracey Gordon (Chewing Gum)

Chewing Gum is comedic genius and Michaela Coel should be proud - not only because of her fantastic screenwriting, but also for her marvelous performance as Tracey Gordon, the show’s protagonist. Tracey is honest, outspoken, and wonderfully cringy, and her actions lead to all sorts of hilarious outcomes. Many of the female characters on this list are “cool”; Tracey isn’t cool in the traditional sense, but she’s unabashed around who she is and that makes her the coolest person on the show.

(Shameless plug-in: This show is on Netflix and you should really give it a go, the characters are hilarious and relatable, and I think it’s one of the few shows that really depicts sex as the awkward, messy activity it is.)

5. Amanda Rollins (Law and Order: SVU)

After many, many years of people telling me I should watch SVU, I have finally started watching it... from Season 14, since those are the only seasons available on Netflix. (Don’t worry, I have watched around 4 episodes that were pre Season 13 and therefore do know something of Elliot Stabler and his beautiful partnership with Olivia Benson)

But maybe it’s because I started from Season 14 that I seem to have a different opinion of Amanda Rollins than most other fans do? Correct me if I’m wrong, but after prowling around the internet, it seems that most fans dislike Rollins or at least find her tedious. I, on the other hand, really like her and her character growth... hmm guess that’s a mystery we’ll have to put aside for now.

6. Na Kyung Shim (Strong Woman Do Bong Soon)

If you’re also a fan of the show, you might be thinking: What about Do Bong-Soon herself?? But while I love our plucky heroine, I love her plucky best friend/sidekick even more. Na Kyung Shim doesn’t get that much screen time, but in the scenes she gets she shines as a sweet and snarky girl, who just wants the best for her friend. And I just have such a weakness for those kinds of characters.

(Also if you haven’t watched Strong Woman Do Bong Soon and you’re looking for a new rom-com kdrama to watch you should totally pick this one)

7. Chaewoon (Love Barometer)

I’ve talked about my foray into Korean webcomics before, but in those posts I neglected to mention Love Barometer, and that is a crime that I must correct.

Love Barometer is one of the cutest romance manhwas that you will ever read and I stand by that statement until my inevitable demise. The thing I love about it? The lack of unneeded drama. Our heroine Chaewoon has a good head on her shoulders and that means that most problems that might, in other manhwas, drag on for entire volumes before getting resolved, don’t exceed more than two chapters here. And it’s wonderfully refreshing. (Also the romance!!! Is so cute!!! I’m going to die!!!).

(The series is on Lezhin FYI and I think the first 30 chapters are like free to read.)

8. Road Kamelot (D. Gray-man)

Listen: I have loved Road Kamelot since I first saw her at age 13 and I have loved her ever since. My first online blog had her photo as the header and the only D. Gray-man fic I ever tried writing was Allen/Road. I would gladly give up my life for her, which probably makes it a good thing that she’s not real. Nonetheless... I love her.

Road’s featured here because I’ve been catching up with the new chapters of D. Gray-man and wow has that been a trip (still can’t get my head around certain plot twists). I think I might give my Allen/Road fic another try...

(Also if you’ve never heard of D. Gray-man before, you should give it a go if exorcists are like your thing.)

9. Ren Kougyoku (Magi)

(Beautiful edit made by @skania)

My love for Road Kamelot can only be rivaled by my love for Ren Kougyoku (and I just realized that both of their initials are R. K. :O what could this mean?!?) and they definitely share some similarities, starting with the fact that they will both kick your ass if you cross them. I feel like a proud mother, watching Kougyoku grow from being a princess ashamed of being “lowborn” to a proud and beloved Empress T_T

I’ve finally read the last few chapters of Magi and honestly? It’s always sad to finish a manga that you’ve been reading for a long time, but in this case the farewell was made easier by the fact that the whole last arc of Magi was disappointing, which meant that I could say a preemptive farewell to it a year earlier. But although the ending was anti-climatic, at least I can rest assured that Kougyoku’s character arc was, for the most part, wonderfully executed, and that her friendship with Alibaba will go on for their lifetimes. ( “Alikou 4ever!” my shipper heart cries, but I shove it down and tell it to save its energy for fic writing).

10. Renee Walker (The Foxhole Court)

Oh Renee, love and light of my life. You are possibly the only Christian character whose moralizing I enjoy, because from you it actually makes sense and doesn’t sound patronizing.

Renee’s one of the most beloved characters in the fandom and I don’t think my reasons for loving her are particularly unique; One of her most-quoted (aka most used in photosets and moodboards and whatnot) lines is “I am a bad person trying very hard to be a good person” and that’s the appeal–at first glance, she’s a harmless, goody-two-shoes Christian, but the truth is she has one of the darkest backstories out of anyone in the series, still carries that darkness around because it’s still needed, and that speaks to her strength. What a badass bundle of goodness she is.

(Btw The Foxhole Court is a book series that reads like an angsty YA series and a sports manga combined, so if that in any way sounds appealing to you, you should give it a go.)

#hmmm how should I tag this #saikou no rikon #miss fisher's murder mysteries #rita #chewing gum #law and order svu #strong woman do bong soon #love barometer #magi #the foxhole court #random blah of letters #D Gray man

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