#fuck joe eyed biden

[bootleg-nessie]

Rating band names based on their accuracy:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

The Beatles: 3/10. None of these people are beetles, they’re just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts

(Edit: changed from 0/10 to 3/10 because John Lennon beat his wife)

Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink

Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like

Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either they’re pretending to fight a problem that doesn’t exist or they’re doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it

The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to

Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury

Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I don’t think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams

The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because I’m pretty sure they rolled quite a few

U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band

Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band “Metallica” is like naming your dog “doggy”

Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. They’re not even that hot, let alone red hot

Guns N’ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music

Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location

Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes

The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho

Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago

Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used

Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho

The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location

The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an ‘eyed pea’ is but the black part is pretty accurate

Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not they’re thinking about dragons.

Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go

Green Day: 0/10. They’re not even green

The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band

KISS: 5/10. I’m sure they probably kissed sometimes

The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me

We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I can’t verify this but I have no reason to suspect that they’d lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable

They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this band’s height, the tallest guy’s only 6’1 so I wouldn’t exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I can’t really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants

The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. I’m pretty sure “Lump” was written about my first girlfriend tho so I’ll give them a point or two

Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but we’re kinda close genetically so I’ll give them partial credit

The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if they’ve actually killed before but the fact that they’re not in prison tells me probably not

The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebody’s offspring

Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic

Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that

Beastie Boys: 8/10. They’re pretty beast on the guitar

Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, you’re biting off way more than you can chew

Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because I’m pretty sure they had more than one hole

Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that

Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go

The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate

Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I can’t find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely aren’t nine inches long

Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking

The Who: 2/10. I’m not dealing with this “Who’s On First” bullshit

Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head

Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called “five random dudes from the modern era” but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful

Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden

Sonic Youth: 5/10. They’re not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out

Talking heads: 8/10. There’s more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk

The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury weren’t the only fruits on this list

The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot

Blue Man Group: 10/10. Yep!

Weezer: 5/10. They all look like they definitely have asthma

Limp Bizkit: 3/10. While the visual image of baked goods playing the guitar is hilarious, Fred durst is not a biscuit. Points added because he probably has erectile dysfunction

Stone Temple Pilots: 0/10. None of these people are accredited as being licensed to pilot anything, much less an entire stone temple. Stone temples don’t need pilots anyways

Wasted Youth: 8/10. I guess it really kinda depends on how you frame it but yeah, they probably wasted a lot of it

Them Crooked Vultures: 3/10. These are people and not birds but Dave Grohl’s posture is kinda bad and John Paul Jones is so old that his neck kinda looks like a vulture’s so I added some points

Audioslave: 0/10. Slavery is illegal

Traveling Wilburys: 4/10. Sure, they traveled a lot but not a single one of those lying bastards was named Wilbury

D12: 6/12. There were only 6 people in this band

NWA: 10/10. I’m a little too white to safely comment on this one but I’d say they nailed it

Jet: 1/10. A real jet would be way too loud

Goldfinger: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a finger made out of gold

No Doubt: ?/10. I can’t really be too sure how Gwen Stefani felt but I think it’s probably a safe assumption that she had some doubts

The White Stripes: 3/10. I bet if you stripped them down naked and made them stand shoulder to shoulder and squinted really hard they’d probably look more like white stripes

Screaming trees: 3/10. They scream occasionally

Garbage: 2/10. I think they’re being a little harsh on themselves, their music isn’t THAT bad

Butthole Surfers: 5/10. Not even gonna touch this one

Megadeth: 3/10. To be fair, some of the former members are dead but only a little amount of death, not mega death

Dead Kennedys: 2/10. Last I checked Kennedy was still dead but neither he nor his clones are members of this band

Cake: 0/10. The cake is a lie

Cracker: 8/10. Most of them are

Tool: 7/10. I don’t know much about their music but they sure look like tools

Counting Crows: ?/10. Is this what emo kids do instead of counting sheep? Accuracy depends on whatever bird they happen to be counting at the moment

Dave Matthews Band: 10/10. It certainly is

Oasis: 1/10. Their music is the opposite of an oasis

Blur: 2/10. They are not that fast

Barenaked Ladies: 0/10. If I wanted to be this disappointed I’d reestablish a connection with my biological father instead

Meat Puppets: 10/10. Technically, aren’t we all?

Live: 8/10. Apparently they still do live shows but I deducted some points because I’ve only ever heard their music on Spotify

ABBA: 9/10. I’m still not giving any points to Guns N’ Roses but that’s mostly out of spite

5 Finger Death Punch: 8/10 I guess it probably depends on how hard you hit them but this seems to be the usual amount of fingers to punch somebody with

All American Rejects: 9/10. They’re all rejects from America so I don’t really see any issue with this

T. Rex: 0/10. Even if any of these people WAS a T. Rex I don’t think their arms would be long enough to play their instruments

Free: 0/10. Unless you steal their music, in which case it becomes a 10/10

The Strokes: 3/10. To my knowledge, none of them have had a stroke but I still added a few points because the name was probably accurate for other reasons

The Smashing Pumpkins ?/10. Another thing I have no way of verifying but this seems like a waste of perfectly good pumpkins

Therapy?: ?/10. The hell are they asking me for? I don’t know their medical history

Twenty One Pilots. 0/10. There’s only two of them and neither is a licensed pilot

Finger Eleven: 0/10. Leave the poor Stranger Things girl out of this

Fall Out Boy: 9/10. I conferred with an expert on this one who confirmed that they are in fact boys who had a falling out

Cream: 8/10. Considering this was the OG supergroup I’m sure a lot of people did in fact cream when their music came out

Edit: humans aren’t fucking monkeys. Stop saying we are

#r/196 #r/196archive #196 #/r/196 #rule #meme #memes #shitpost #shitposting #music #rock #rock music #the Beatles #pink floyd #nirvana #foo fighters #the eagles #queen #led zeppelin #the rolling stones #metallica #red hot chili peppers #rhcp #guns n roses #backstreet boys #simon and garfunkel #the doors #Chicago #earth wind and fire #def leppard

[fairuzfan]

in re: genocide joe, i feel like his election in the first place also just speaks to how incurably stagnant the us electoral system is. the overwhelming dominance of those who can afford to grow old (i.e. the wealthy white) means the pressing issues that the youth (and a percentage of the older generations, but often not the ones who make it to their 70s/80s/90s) care about, like climate change, anti-imperialism, labor rights, dismantling structural inequality, and overall Not Living In A Festering Pile Of Shit Country, just get ignored as 'acceptable compromises'. i had a conversation with my mom during the dem primaries about why i was so anti-biden then that was literally this exact thing: it is too late to compromise on these issues. if you wanted compromise, you shouldve compromised in the 80s, the 90s, hell even the aughts. but you didnt. you just passed the buck and ignored it. and now its the 20s, the world is on fire, and you have run out the clock. put up or shut up. there is no more time.

What's really frustrating is that yeah, the electoral system is supremely fucked and people acknowledge it, even dem voters, but they just don't think you can even try to change anything. I remember when Obama was elected, everyone was soooo excited and starry eyed about him but then by the second election, everyone just didn't want whats-his-face to win. No one really cared about Obama winning. And we did the same thing with Hillary. And now Biden.

At this point our judicial system is fucked too so no matter what, for the next like 40 years it's going to be Overwhelmingly Bad with domestic things like abortion and book bans and freedom of speech and even environmental rights. It doesn't matter if Biden SAYS he's not going to do something, the Supreme Court will do what it wants. And anyways, you trust Biden after all this to respect your rights? After him publicly allowing genocide to happen? After him FUNDING genocide? Fuck him.

Anyways, its been downhill for decades like you said, there's no fixing a system that's running exactly how it's intended to run.

[humanjeff]

oh you have got to be kidding me

At 2:36 on Monday morning, James Musk sent an urgent message to Twitter engineers. “We are debugging an issue with engagement across the platform,” wrote Musk, a cousin of the Twitter CEO, tagging “@here” in Slack to ensure that anyone online would see it. “Any people who can make dashboards and write software please can you help solve this problem. This is high urgency. If you are willing to help out please thumbs up this post.” When bleary-eyed engineers began to log on to their laptops, the nature of the emergency became clear: Elon Musk’s tweet about the Super Bowl got less engagement than President Joe Biden’s. Biden’s tweet, in which he said he would be supporting his wife in rooting for the Philadelphia Eagles, generated nearly 29 million impressions. Musk, who also tweeted his support for the Eagles, generated a little more than 9.1 million impressions before deleting the tweet in apparent frustration. In the wake of those losses — the Eagles to the Kansas City Chiefs, and Musk to the president of the United States — Twitter’s CEO flew his private jet back to the Bay Area on Sunday night to demand answers from his team. Within a day, the consequences of that meeting would reverberate around the world, as Twitter users opened the app to find that Musk’s posts overwhelmed their ranked timeline. This was no accident, Platformer can confirm: after Musk threatened to fire his remaining engineers, they built a system designed to ensure that Musk — and Musk alone — benefits from previously unheard-of promotion of his tweets to the entire user base.

fucking INCREDIBLE

By Monday afternoon, “the problem” had been “fixed.” Twitter deployed code to automatically “greenlight” all of Musk’s tweets, meaning his tweets will bypass Twitter’s filters designed to show people the best content possible. The algorithm now artificially boosted Musk’s tweets by a factor of 1,000 – a constant score that ensured his tweets rank higher than anyone else’s in the feed.

this guy is the saddest loser in all of human history

#last failson of apartheid

[ramrodd]

Why did Joe Biden finally fire Anthony Fauci? Was it the failed vaccines or the Wuhan leak of his lab?

COMMENTARY::

The premise of the white supremacist agenda is that America would work better if dumb-ass thugs like One-Eyed Elmer Rhodes, Roger Stone, Steve Bannon, and George Lincoln Rockwell were in charge of a transnational criminal meritocracy. You know, a Tucker Carlson block party. I am a white guy who has lived in DC since I got back from Vietnam in 1971, From that summer until 19 January 1981, DC was the most racially mellow city in America, if not the world. Everybody was hooked into Nixon’s Affirmative Action and Apollo 11 and, in 1973, the adult leadership of the Nixon White House colluded with the Democrats to implement Home Rule in DC and, good bad or indifferent, DC was just beginning to get traction with being in charge as a rainbow community with Chuck Brown’s Bustin’ Loose bringing the spirit of the Bicentennial into the neighborhoods east of Georgetown. And Georgetown. And then assholes like Tucker Carlson came to town with Ronald Reagan and his Hollywood John Birch Society and the racism meter went to 11 in a cocaine blizzard from Donald T. Regan’s Wall Street cabal, the Miami Vice culture and Ed Meese and Charles Z. Wick, and all the white male executives who benefited from McCarthyism clearing the way up the corporate ladder from liberal competition. The assholes from the Nixon Plumbers now had budgets in the Supply Side Economics agenda and dedicated to paybacks for Watergate, which was a direct result of the Plumbers as the leading edge of William F. Buckley’s campus strategy for the takeover of America by the John Birch Sockety, had fucked up Nixon’s Presidency by trying to run America the way the January 6 conspiracy believes America should be run. This question is an example of Fascist disinformation being generated to cause moral confusion in the public debate and amplifying the sedition alienation and polarization characteristic of Newt Gingrich’s GOPAC political strategy for a Trotsky insurgency leading to the violent overthrow of the host government. Like on January 6. Writing as an Eisenhower Republican, I’ve been avoiding right-wing assholes in the Republican Party since before I went to Vietnam, but, specifically, Pat Buchanan and his Plumber cabal in the Republican party. At one point, I probably could have had a White House job working for Ray Price as a researcher. He took me to the Navy Mess a couple of times to entice me to consider the job, but I was on a venture capital track and wanted to get into government on that basis. Nixon’s Affirmative Action was all about doing business with the Soviets as part of creating the global economy displayed in 2001: A Space Odyssey. I bet the ranch on Affirmative Action. The agenda of the John Birch Society since William F. Buckley’s Sharon Statement has been to prevent 2001: A Space Odyssey because it requires the transformation of the Military Industrial Complex and the stupid white Harvard MBA graduates taking over the Fortune 500 in 1980 who think like Peter Thiel didn’t want to change the whole corporate ladder basis of their ambitions. That’s who the Plumbers were and who the January 6 Republicans are in the House Freedom Caucus. Speaking as an Eisenhower Republican, Michael Steele is the only authentic Kemp Republican left standing, with the exception of Mitt Romney. In terms of my focus on venture capital, I am more like both George and Mitt Romney than Jack Kemp, but Jack Kemp is the GOP;s version of Daniel Patrick Moynihan: they share a common command of economic policy and grass roots, retail politics. Nixon’s Affirmative Action was the product of a collaboration with Daniel Patrick Moynihan and was on track to transform the Military Industrial Complex to the Aerospace-Entrepreneurial Matrix of 2001: S Spce Odyssey by 2001 with Stage 3 of Eisenhower’s mobilization for WWIII until Reagan’s Supply Side Economics stopped the process cold. America was a cunt hair away from achieving the critical mass required to make the paradigm shift form the quantity of the Military Industrial Complex to the quality of the Green New Deal, which is what the Starship Capitalism of 2001:A Space Odyssey. The Joh Birch Society wants the economy to work like it did in 1947 when a white American businessman could get a blow job in Berlin for a loaf of bread. That’s the political agenda behind the Fascist disinformation of this question.  

[junova]

↬ 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐭 | 𝐬. 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

abstract: the one where steve finds your love letters.

pairing: au!steve x fem!reader

word count: 3K+

warnings: cussing, fluff, angst, crying, slight self-deprecation.

[author’s note]: hey guys! i’m really new to the writing scene so kind words are appreciated! srsly just testing my writing style out and wanted to just post something to motivate me to keep writing. hope u like it. <3

also thank u ari for the inspo and that bomb ass album that saved twenty-twenty. now we just need biden to get elected.

ps. don’t forget to vote! <3

Stevie,

First and foremost, I want you to know how proud of you I am. You have become the man you’ve said you become, the one I always knew you would. You have finally seen what the rest of us see.

A good man.

The soul you carry within you shines brighter than I’ve ever seen. Just for that only, I’m thankful for the time we’ve spent together. Maybe one day, I’ll be brave enough to tell you this without hiding behind the comfort of this notebook. She won’t spill my secrets, fortunate for me.

Some days you have no idea how badly I want to tell you. I think it’s on the days I discover a new fleck of green in your eyes or maybe when you show up to class with a cup of coffee for me without request.

More. More. More.

More. More. More.

It’s selfish of me, that much I know. More days than not, I would say you give too much of yourself away. Always wanting to appease everyone, you, Steven Rogers, the bridge to making the people around you happier than they walked in. Even when Bucky drags you into his nonsense bullshit, you say yes without hesitation.

I’ve got not a a clue on how you continue on, how you still remain you when you tend to spread yourself so thin. Who watches out for you? Who cares for you? Who loves the almighty, selfless Rogers?

For me, it’s much easier to pretend you carry too much on your plate than to deal with the rejection I would receive from you. You’re just too good, more than I deserve. More than I would be willing to take. I know I couldn’t possibly give you what you deserve but, I hope that one day you might see me differently. You would see me more than the light I’ve painted myself in.

Even though the shade is lovely, I want to be deeper. Deeper into you on a level which only seems unattainable at this point.

A forever friend. To be in your life, just as a friend, is an reward in itself.

But someday I hope you would love me in the same way I do. It’s all a love struck girl could do. Hope for the best, bet be prepared for the downfall.

With much love, your forever friend.

Tearing the page away from the binding of the overfilled notebook, dispensing it in the first empty drawer you could find, you abandoned the feelings as soon as the pen’s ink bleed out dry.

“You know it would just be easier to tell him how you feel.” You peaked up at the sound of her voice, before realizing she was looming over you, watching your write the letter.

Your supposed, secret letter.

“Nat, please. No.” Opening the drawer, she grabbed the letter but was surprised with just how many she found.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You’ve written about him multiple times?” You sank in the soft, plush material of your seat hoping that just maybe it would begin to swallow you whole. Hopefully, fast enough were you wouldn’t have to endure the rest of the conversation. One you had been trying to avoid, for the past three years.

“It’s nothing Nat, just forget it.” Just like a Romanov, she couldn’t leave it alone. Even if she tried it was laced in her blood to see any little thing through.

“You really shouldn’t wait so long. A window might close for you, much sooner than you think.” With a curious eyebrow lifted, you felt your breath leave you.

“What does that supposed to mean?” Steve certainly deserved the best and you knew it was only time for him to figure out you would never be enough for him.

“Peggy Carter.” Peggy.

The one girl of a sea of many who had been enamored by Steve. He never really seemed to spend anytime with the women who vied for his attention, but Peggy was surely different than the rest.

Even if Steve was oblivious when it came to the advances everyone would make on him, he saw Peggy. Considering she was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen, she intimidated you. God, did she ever.

On numerous occasions she and Steve had gone out, and even though he assured you they were just friends you were starting to believe he was only trying to protect your feelings. As a friend.

He had never cancelled on you once for her and he would tell you if he had started to date someone, just like he had before.

Even though the entire three years you’d known him he only had one serious girlfriend and after eight months, the pair broke up and even now he still didn’t budge on why they broke up.

“Steve can do whatever he wants with her. He’s a single man. He’s gone out with her before and he’ll probably go with her again.” Then Sam was the next to speak up, dismissing the total bullshit spouting from your mouth.

“Can’t you see he doesn’t want to? The damn man follows you around like a goddamn puppy.” Okay, when did he even come in here?

“God, fuck, no he doesn’t. He would have said something by now, he’s had three years and it’s been nothing but radio silence.” With an all knowing smirk, Sam proposed a new concept into question.

“It has been three years. So, have you ever said anything to him?”

Shit. Fuck you, Wilson.

“W-Well, not exactly.” Sam didn’t have to say anything in response. You knew he was right and you hated it.

Your unwillingness still stood for you, there was just no way he actually would reciprocate your feelings.

“Listen, I think it would be really good for the both of you to air everything out. Peggy is sinking her claws in him and it isn’t too long before they get stuck. Just talk to him.” You nodded silently, but you weren’t sure if you’d ever have the courage to.

—

Emptiness.

It’s all you seemed to feel today. Following you around was a dark cloud, looming over you. Wishing you could be anywhere but your own body. Nothing in particular happened to make you deserve the feeling you were granted with. It just so happened to be one of those days.

From the moment you got out of bed — or rather stayed in bed until four in the afternoon, you felt like anything you would have done just didn’t feel enough. The feeling was fleeting, never staying for more than a day or so, but it made the day drag on. Never ending.

Your muscles sore, body aching from the lack of activity your presumed. Or maybe you had built it in your head too.

Thankfully for you, Nat was busy helping Bucky move into his new place the entire day. She asked if you wanted to help, but mentally you didn’t feel you would be useful for anyone. Simply, telling her you would hang back, claiming you had another an essay to write.

Which you did, you weren’t completely lying, but there was more than your sour mood to blame for your dismissal of social interaction.

You hated to be that girl, the one who needed the presence of men. Specifically, the company of one very beautiful, blue eyed one.

His absence in your life the past few weeks felt heavier on you than you thought it would. You knew from Sam’s intel he had been hanging out with Peggy more and more. He said the two of them were getting close, mercifully sparing you the details.

You hated it’s you’d become. A girl so damn struck over a boy who was giving his attention elsewhere. Upset you were though. Before even if he was busy between classes and his internship at the gallery, he would still text to check up on you.

Now, it was nothing but radio silence letting you draw conclusions on your own. Very, very dangerous territory for you to travel to.

Steve and you are just friends. Get. Over. It.

You thought you’d be alone the rest of the Saturday, especially since it was nearly midnight. Figuring Nat was staying over at Bucky’s and Wanda leaving earlier in early hours of the morning to see her boyfriend for the entire weekend.

Then, an incredibly drunk Steve stumbled into your quaint apartment, the thoughtfully sweetness in him blubbering out with the alcohol flooding through his system. It was like he was on overdrive. More than ready to crash at any given moment.

You had enough when Steve started shamelessly raiding your kitchen, but you remained on the couch attempting to maintain some distance between the two of you. He had a history of being incredibly handsy whenever he had bit too much to drink.

Stumbling his way over to you, almost tripping on the rug, until he was basically cuddling up to your side. His arms latched tightly around you, pulling you into him. Not spared a choice, not that you’d want one.

The security of being wrapped up to him wasn’t something you ever grew tired of. You don’t think there would ever be a time you would ever be capable of turning him away.

“I’ve missed you. It’s been too long.” His soft tone, penetrating the tiny resistance you held towards him. “Me too. I was starting to think you disappeared on me, bubba.”

“Never.” His iron grip holding so tight like he was afraid you’d slip right through.

“Is everything alright?” Trying to pull from him, but Steve seemed unable to let you go. You whispered in his ear, caressing his back.

“I think so.”

“Here, let me grab you cup of joe and some water. Okay? I’ll be right back.” Leaving him a kiss on the cheek, before heading him into the kitchen.

If you had been around him recently, perhaps you would be more in tune with how he was feeling. Then the guilt sept in.

“Sweetheart, do you know where the phone charger is? It’s not by the recliner.” You heard him shout, trying to stop your heart from hammering into your stomach.

Just make him some coffee, sober him up, until he crashes.

Steve always seemed to be a lightweight and somehow whenever he did decide to drink he always found himself routing his way into your home. You thought it was simply for accident alone. The bar he frequented at was only a few block from you.

The past few times he would just stumble into your bedroom, immediately passing out in your soft, silky sheet. Now, he seemed to have more pressing matters at hand.

“Check the drawers, Stevie. I think there’s one you left around here somewhere.” You grabbed the filters and the grounds out, brewing the coffee. Soon, with a black cup of coffee and a water bottle in hand you took note of just how quite he was being.

He was never this silent and it was freaking you out.

“Are you sure you’re o-”

Just like that.

Fuck.

Hunched over, practically on his knees, he read over the endless letters you wrote about him. Confessions never meant to be seen by him. You lost track of how many you had written over the past few years once realized how irrevocably in love with him you are.

He didn’t realize you had found him and you were suddenly paralyzed. Unaware of your presence he continued to read through them and his expression was unrecognizable. One you’d never seen from him before, and you didn’t quite know how to react.

No. He wasn’t grimacing nor did he seem to be elated either. He just stood there just like you, afraid what would happen next.

What did this mean for the two of you? Your entire relationship was purely riding on whatever happened next.

Softly, with a gentle hand, he sifted through them all like he was looking for something specifically. Steve let them fall to the hardwood floors as your shaking hands could no longer support the weight of the dainty coffee cup he had actually sculpted himself.

The glass shattering everywhere, several pieces making their way towards him, thankfully not fiercely enough to penetrate his skin.

Truly, you had never been more sorry than when he looked up at you with tears in his eyes. Threatening to spill over. Because of you.

You didn’t have to be told, you already knew.

Carefully, Steve stood up making his way over to you around the shattered mug. Still you couldn’t bring yourself to move. Simply just watching him until he was right in front of you — more silent than you’d ever seen him before.

“Those were about me. Weren’t they?” You nodded having no reason to lie other than to protect yourself from a rejection you been hoping to spare yourself from.

“I didn’t want you to find out like this. Or at all really.” Your resolve dropping instantly when Steve took a step further gripping by your hips, pulling you closer.

“Why not?” He questioned you, again. Almost like he needed a verbal affirmation of every secret he had just read.

Unintentionally, stealing your soul served for him on a silver platter.

“I know how you’d feel about me, Steve. It’s not how I want it to be and it’s okay.” You remove yourself from him, traveling to the other side of the living room. Suddenly, the apartment seemed suffocating with him in it. “I’m fine, Steve.”

Hearing him sigh in frustration only furthered your immense feeling of being a burden to him.

You’re just one more obstacle he has to deal with.

“One of them dated back for over two years ago. Two fucking years.” His harsh tone, piercing through you like a knife.

“I know. I should have told you.” You whispered, wishing you could disappear into any abyss that would take you. Deeply wishing you just didn’t have to endure for the rest of this conversation. Wishing you could have stopped him from opening that stupid drawer. “I tell you everything, but I just couldn’t bring myself to speak about this. Look at how you’re reacting? How could you blame me when every fear I have about this is justified?”

You really should have kept those elsewhere, not your open, public living room.

“Because it’s us. I’m always here for you.” He was still crying through broken words and you didn’t know why. Almost like you had shattered his resolve and his control leaving with it.

“Not lately. You’ve been otherwise occupied.” Suddenly find the plant in the corner of the room. It certainly weren’t trying to distract yourself from the insatiable cerulean eyes.

The breathtaking british woman wasn’t even here and as soon as she was brought up — there was a wall. Seperating, you from whatever was between the two of you.

“This isn’t my fault. You never said anything. How was I supposed to know you feel that way about me?” He tried to make his way towards you but you just stalked off in the other direction. Circling around the living room like a coward.

“It didn’t matter though, did it? You found someone perfect for you regardless of how you feel.” God, you wish he would just leave so you could let the dam break.

“No. You don’t get to do that. Since the moment I met you I only had eyes for you, but you never seemed like you were interested. So, I dropped it. Okay? You never left me a crumb to think you would ever want to be more than just friends.”

“You were my best friend. You still are. No matter how I felt, it could never outweigh the need I have for you to be in my life.” He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. Trying to figure out what was next for the both of you. Steve always had to initiate and this time was no different.

“Peggy told me tonight she wants to be exclusive.” His confession washing over you like a ton of bricks. Crushing you.

You really couldn’t have any ill feeling towards her, she was just doing what you lacked the courage and the tenacity to do.

“But I didn’t really know what to do.” He took quiet steps towards you, not wanting to spook you. He voice not no longer held the a warmth of teddy bear, but a man on a mission rather took over.

Steve kept quiet until he had you backed up into a corner, no escape route in vision for you.

“’Cause there’s this other beautiful woman, absolutely breathtaking — and I just I really needed to know how she felt. If I had known before,  I never would have gone anywhere else.” His hand caressing your soft, plump lips. Pulling on your bottom lip with his thumb, sending you into a frenzy.

“Then, I just wanted to forget about everything until Sam called me. Three beers deep, when he told me of a drawer filled with letters I should take a look at.” You could feel his breath on you, temple pressed against yours.

“I just need to hear you say it. Just once.” Taking it a step forward, intertwining your finger with his own.

“I love you.” It was all he needed as he sealed his own affirmation with a sweet kiss, inking your lips with all of his love.

#for the love of god let these tags work :/ #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x reader fluff #steve rogers x reader angst #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers angst #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers au #college!steve rogers #au #mcu #mcu fanfiction #fanfiction

[parkers-gal]

Omg can I request something with Tom where you two are dating and joe Biden is your grandpa??? You can totally go any way with this 💕💕

this is weird lol but friendly reminder to stop stanning politicians (not that u are but just a quick note hahah)

requests are open

**

“Wait so, your family is in politics? Like.. they like talking about it all the time?”

You laughed, packing another shirt into your duffel bag. The two of you were going away for the weekend, going up to see your family before Tom had to leave for work again. 

“No, they’re politics. Like, professionally.” 

“Oh,” he nodded. “So they’re like, famous?”

“If you call American politicians that then I suppose so.” 

You chuckled again just as Tom zipped his bag before sitting on the mattress next to where your bag was placed. “Don’t worry, Tom,” you eyed him and he blushed, realizing you could read him better than a book. “They’re not gonna shame you for not being up to date in American politics. You’re literally British.”

“Well, I know. But you said Joe is your grandpa- that’s like, fucking crazy!”

His hand gestures made you laugh, and you sat next to him, dropping your bag by your feet. “They’re ordinary people,” your hand rested over his. “Just ordinary people with unordinary jobs. They work for the government, think of it that way.”

“I suppose so.”

“Good,” you stood up, pulling him into your embrace. “Are you ready now?” 

He chuckled at your whines, nodding.

**

“And this is Joe, my Grandpa,” you motioned towards him, who was sitting beside his wife. Tom smiled politely, offering his hand. 

“It’s really nice to meet you.”

“Likewise, Tom,” he smiled. Tom went wide eyed at the name drop, eyes turning to you in surprise before he kept the conversation going. 

You rolled your eyes at the boy. He was going to be the death of you.

[ioanamihalcea]

20 de momente care m-au impresionat la învestirea lui Joe Biden

Ieri, 20 ianuarie 2021, Joe Biden a fost învestit al 46-lea președinte al SUA.

Au fost multe momente emoționante, amuzante, interesante, speciale de-a lungul zilei. Am ales câteva dintre cele care m-au impresionat cel mai mult.

1. Un bărbat în uniformă a îngenuncheat la mormântul lui Beau Biden din Delaware, în timp ce tatăl său depunea jurământul la Washington DC.

Jurnalista Patricia Talorico l-a fotografiat absolut întâmplător, pentru că a simțit nevoia să meargă să spună o rugăciune în memoria lui Beau în acel moment. Nu l-a întrerupt pe bărbatul respectiv, doar l-a fotografiat de la distanță și a plecat. A scris un articol despre cum l-a cunoscut pe Beau Biden și de ce e acesta un moment special.

2. Nepoții familiei Biden au făcut senzație la Capitoliu. Codul vestimentar al evenimentului pare să fi fost „monocromatic”, iar majoritatea celor prezenți au primit memo-ul. Cei mari, 4 fete și un băiat, toți adolescenți, plus un bebeluș de 10 luni (Hunter Biden Sr. mai are o fetiță, care nu a fost prezentă), au fost remarcați prin vestimentație.

3. Bernie Sanders a venit la învestire, a păstrat distanța socială și a devenit rapid un meme, datorită mănușilor de lână și a atitudinii

4. Michelle Obama a impresionat prin prestanță, iar cei de la CNN au uitat că e și Barack cu ea, atât de marcați au fost, prezentându-l ca însoțitor al lui Michelle, glumă preluată ulterior de toată lumea:

5. Hillary Clinton a îmbrăcat un costum cu pantalon Ralph Lauren, alegând culoarea mov, o combinație de roșu (republicani) și albastru (democrați), simbolizând unitate, precum și culoarea sufragetelor. Cum a ajuns, a schimbat câteva vorbe cu fostul VP, Mike Pence, iar pe Twitter fanii s-au amuzat: „Few people enjoy a nice, juicy piece of gossip more than Hillary Clinton”. Apariția lui Hillary la ceremonie a stârnit amintiri triste despre alegerile pierdute în 2016, legat de care unii încă au traume, și regrete că ar fi putut învestită chiar ea, cu al doilea mandat.

6. Trei foști președinți americani, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush și Barack Obama, cu soțiile lor, au fost prezenți la cimitirul Arlington, acolo unde Biden și Harris au depus o coroană la Mormântul Soldatului Necunoscut. Foștii președinți, în relații excelente, au înregistrat și un mesaj pentru noul președinte, Joe Biden, și pentru națiune (VIDEO). Normalitate. 

Jake Tapper de la CNN a avut o replică amuzantă, semnalând că dacă fostul președinte american Jimmy Carter, 96 de ani, n-a putut veni din Georgia la Washington DC din cauza stării de sănătate și a faptului că nu e suficient de puternic fizic, mai ales în perioada pandemiei, în schimb Donald Trump, președintele înlocuit de Biden, n-a venit pentru că „nu e suficient de puternic emoțional”. A fost prima dată în 150 de ani când schimbul democratic de putere nu s-a făcut în persoană, așa cum cere tradiția.

7. Beau Biden al doilea, în vârstă de 10 luni, nepotul lui Joe Biden și fiul lui Hunter Sr., a urmărit momente ale spectacolului de după ceremonie în brațele bunicului său. O imagine unică a fost surprinsă de Evan Vucci/AP:

8. Poeta Amanda Gorman a recitat un poem scris de ea, simbolic și extrem de puternic (VIDEO). „După 4 ani în care artele au fost neglijate și abuzate sub Trump, să auzi o poezie, la un asemenea nivel, e minunat”. De acord.

9. Mi-a plăcut cum a fost îmbrăcată, coafată și machiată Lady Gaga, nu și interpretarea imnului. Știu că la americani se practică, dar nu sunt fanul transformării imnului într-un cântec pop (VIDEO).

10. Înainte de a ajunge la Washington pentru învestire, Biden a ținut un discurs în Delaware (VIDEO). A ales ca locație 'Major Joseph R. “Beau” Biden III National Guard/Reserve Center'. Și-a exprimat dragostea pentru Delaware și regretul că nu fiul său e cel care urmează să devină oficial președintele SUA. 

Beau Biden a murit la 46 de ani, iar tatăl său e al 46-lea președinte al SUA. O coincidență care n-a rămas neremarcată de Ashley Biden, fiica lui Joe, care a vorbit de curând despre cât de afectată e familia, la 4 ani după pierderea lui Beau, și despre semnul pe care l-au primit de la el într-o biserică din South Carolina. „Cântecul religios care-i amintește lui tata de Beau este 'He Will Raise You Up on Eagle's Wings'. Când am intrat în biserică, ne-am așezat în spate, pe ultimul rând, iar din boxe a început să se audă acest cântec. Ne-am uitat unul la altul și am început să plângem". Joe a câștigat ulterior alegerile primare din South Carolina și a fost astfel nominalizat drept candidatul democrat la alegeri.

Apropo, Ashley Biden, asistentă socială și activistă, a zis că nu va lucra alături de tatăl său la Casa Albă. Just saying.

11. Am remarcat constanta afecțiune dintre Joe și Jill Biden. Se vede că vine natural și că vârsta nu îi împiedică să o arate. Îmbrățișarea de pe treptele Casei Albe a fost firească și emoționantă în același timp.

12. Biden a coborât din mașină cu familia, înainte de a ajunge în curtea Casei Albe, și a parcurs o porțiune pe jos. El a fost strigat de un jurnalist pe care-l cunoștea și a alergat spre el pentru a-i strânge mâna (VIDEO). A fost întrebat ce simte în acest moment și a replicat: „Simt că mă duc acasă”.

13. Kamala Harris, prima femeie, femeie de culoare și asiatică într-o funcție atât de importantă, a depus jurământul într-un moment care va intra în istorie ca o premieră. „Be careful where you step, there's glass everywhere”, s-a comentat pe Twitter apropo de „glass ceiling”. Nu mi-a plăcut că judecătoarea Sonia Sotomayor i-a greșit numele, pronunțând eronat Kamala (VIDEO). Altfel, fiica ei vitregă, Ella, a făcut senzație prin outfitul Miu Miu ales și prin reacția la Mike Pence (VIDEO)

14. Am remarcat și salutul dintre Kamala Harris și Nancy Pelosi (VIDEO). Nancy e classy, sassy and bad ass all on her own (VIDEO).

15. A depus jurământul și primul senator millennial, Jon Ossoff, care în decembrie și-a făcut TikTok pentru a ajunge la cei mai tineri dintre votanți. A reușit. E smart și foarte relatable. La CNN s-a glumit după eveniment: a south asian, a black man and a jew walk into the White House... :D

16. Apropo de exigența familiilor asiatice în legătură cu educația și evoluția copiilor, am văzut un TikTok amuzant: „Imaginați-vă ce îi spun rudele din India Kamalei Harris. 'De ce vicepreședinte? De ce nu președinte??'” (VIDEO).

17. Amy Klobuchar a fost senzațională, a reușit să transmită prestanță, importanța evenimentului, dar și multă emoție (VIDEO).

18. Artificii!!! I fucking love fireworks!!! VIDEO

19. Joe Biden a luat deja primele decizii în calitate de președinte, pentru că multe sunt extrem de urgente. Am remarcat și tablourile puse deja în birou, cu toată familia. Și bustul lui Cesar Chavez.

20. Normalitatea de la toate nivelurile s-a resimțit inclusiv la prima conferința de presă a administrației Biden, susținută de secretarul de presă Jen Psaki. Detalii AICI!

#sometimes i write #politics #us #joe biden

[fireleaptfromhousetohouse]

If a single right-wing legislator had stubbed their toe in the Capitol raid

- Those pathetic lies about it being antifa responsible are elevated to the level of birtherism and young earth creationism, something the right stick by so blindly and poker-facedly that the rest of us are for some reason obliged to take them seriously.

- That draconian anti-terror legislation the right are currently getting misty-eyed over? Already passed, and reintroduces the electric chair on a federal level.

- Final death toll on January 6th: 547.

- Hillary Clinton is accused of personal involvement and subjected to a 12-hour hearing to determine her exact whereabouts at the time. She can’t keep getting away with it!

- Some children in an ICE holding facility simply disappear. What do you mean, ‘what happened to them’? Fuck you, why do you hate America?

- Iran blamed, somehow, by all major news channels. This is not declared fake news.

- Joe Biden praises Donald Trump’s level head and quick thinking in calling for calm.

- Cruise missiles strike civilian targets in Uruguay. What do you mean, ‘why’? Fuck you, why do you hate America?

- Bombs go off in Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s home and office. Those awful antifa, at it again.

- Fox News floats the idea of suspending the White House handover ‘for the duration of the crisis’. They imply, but never actually say, there is provision in the constitution for this.

- Mass shooting at a synagogue, but that would have happened anyway.

- Wearing masks - or ‘terrorist rags’ - in public places declared a misdemeanor.

- Anyone who passes Mitch McConnell’s house while walking the wrong way spirited away to Guantanamo.

- Civil Rights Act revoked. What do you mean, ‘why’? Fuck you, why do you hate America?

[radioactivecallista]

Apparently I have a type.

Me: I’ll take ‘Men Callista Will Be So Dismayed To Discover She Finds Attractive That She’ll Curse During Jeopardy’ for $1000, Alex.

Alex Trebek: This blue-eyed Aquarius was born in 1970 and is known for controversial life choices, political connections, and career decisions, one of which was taking a lucrative job he formally terminated in early 2019. He often wears a suit, and was photographed looking sharp in one when he went to the 2012 Vice Presidential Debate to see Joe Biden.

Me: Who is Paul Ryan?

Alex: I’m sorry, that’s incorrect.

Me: ...oh, fuck.

#jeopardy #paul ryan #hunter biden #i have good taste and bad judgment

[lostinprocrastination]

So I just got home from Endgame and I got some things to say (spoilers ahead, tagged as such):

1. ALL THOSE FIERCE WOMEN HOLY SHIT THAT SCENE!!!!! Make a movie (or two, or ten) focused on Marvel heroines NOW pls!!!! (And get Lupita too when she isn't busy doing awesome stuff with Jordan Peele pls and thank you.)

2. Clint and Nat's friendship is so intense and pure I can't even take it

3. Incidentally, I liked that they didn't really retcon that awful Nat/Bruce nonsense, because that would have been even more ridiculous, but scaled it waaaaaaaaay back to put laser focus on her connection with Clint instead. I used to ship them back in the day and when it was revealed he had a wife and kids - who she actually knew and was friends with, if I remember correctly - I was kind of pissed, but it was so much better the way they did it... A depiction of true, incredibly committed and loving relationship without any hint of romance/sex sends a really powerful message. They are just wonderful.

4. Rest in peace, Nat, you beautiful soul. I love how she's platinum blonde right after the events of Infinity War, but then five years later she has long wavy hair with her natural red color and the tips are still blonde because she doesn't have time for hairstyling bullshit. It's those little details that made me appreciate the movie even more.

5. What sucks the most about Nat dying is that now we can be 100% sure that the Black Widow solo movie will be a prequel/origin story and at this point is it really necessary? I mean, I'll still watch it, but it should have been done YEARS ago.

6. Another detail I loved was how skinny Tony is in the very beginning when he's in the ship with Nebula and then when Carol gets them to Earth he's weak in a wheelchair with and IV. The hairstyle and makeup and probably graphics teams really nailed it in this movie.

7. Speaking of Tony, r.i.p. Mr. Stark. You really had a heart afterall.

8. Anytime an Avengers or Iron Man movie comes out I say this, but regardless of how you feel about Gwyneth Paltrow, you have to admit that Pepper Potts is a fucking goddess, and that her chemistry with RDJ is off the charts. (And he *was* Mr. Potts and NOT the other way around, wasn't he?)

9. I don't think Iron Woman movies would actually work, but I wouldn't object to seeing her as an actual Avenger in the next movies.

10. I think I was the only one in a cinema full of youths and elderly people, because even though the thought had obviously already crossed my mind I laughed out loud when Tony called Thor "Lebowski", and I'm not exaggerating, literally no-one seemed to have gotten the reference except me. WTF.

11. Oh, and I gotta say, if they ever do a Big Lebowski prequel (I hope they don't because these things rarely work, but Hollywood never seems to have original ideas so it's possible), it's Hemsworth for The Dude or don't even bother. Thor is ACTUALLY The Dude in this movie, and I love how he's still pretty fat when it ends and he makes Valkyrie Asgard's queen (which, you know, AWESOME). Another win for the makeup and hairstyle department on this one (I don't think they used CGI on Thor, to me it looked like Hemsworth was wearing a fat suit).

12. If only Natalie Portman would get off her high horse and be Jane again...well, there's still at least one opportunity.

13. Was that really Rene Russo (oh wait a second...) playing Frigga? Because if it was there was some serious CGI going in there. She looked younger than in the first two Thors...? Actually, younger than The Big Hemsworth tbh

14. If (As)Guardians of the Galaxy 3 is just Quill and Thor bickering while trying to find Gamora I'll be delighted. Get Taika to direct and Goldblum back somehow and I'll be in heaven. (Although isn't Gamora actually for realsies dead? Or because they prevented Thanos from getting the Soul Stone that was reversed?)

15. I was already upset that Evans was short-haired and beardless in this movie even though he was in full gorgeous glory in the couple of minutes he appeared in Wakanda in Infinity War and the post-credits scene in Captain Marvel. Did they really have to make me actually watch him shave though? Russo bros, you are terrible people who love to make me suffer.

16. What a GORGEOUS sendoff to Steve. I kept thinking he was gonna be killed, yet he came back an old man having spent his life with Peggy. I get teary-eyed just thinking about it, and left the cinema right after that last shot of them dancing in the 50s. Only a couple of minutes later I remembered there were supposed to be two post-credits scenes and I was already gone, so...if anyone cares to tell me what they were or have a link to videos of them I can watch, please hit my inbox!

17. Is Old Steve Joe Biden? I mean, the makeup was, again, very well-done, but geez, guys, be less obvious with the references lmao (also Steve would never be toutchy-feely, so, you know, no soup for you)

18. I'm gonna assume Carol's hairstyle is a reference to Annette Benning's in Captain Marvel.

19. Let's be VERY clear here: Thanos only managed to punch her because he used the Power Stone, because otherwise she would have kicked his sorry ass right then and there.

20. OF COURSE Steve was worthy of Thor's hammer, I mean, c'mon.

I'm sure I'll think of many other things after I post this, but for now that's what I have. SO. MANY. FEELINGS.

#avengers: endgame #avengers spoilers #endgame spoilers #marvel #mcu #avengers

[raybansandcoffee]

A New Life in New York: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (Michael Buble)

Okay so this was supposed to be finished two days ago but I’ve been on the struggle bus. 

Here it is, a little bit of Christmas, only a day late. 

Harry: December 24, 2020

“Did you finally get them to sleep?” I asked as Janie walked into our bedroom shutting the doors. She walked directly to the bed and fell backwards onto it.

“Yes. Five stories and three songs later. Which by the way, I hate you.”

“Why?” 

“Because our children critique my singing. ‘You’re not as good as Daddy.’ Fuck. You.” I had to laugh. Normally if the kids wanted songs at bedtime Janie put me in charge. Stories, it was her. She’d either read something to them or turned some ridiculous story of her childhood or years on the road into some magical story. She was brilliant, however the children all preferred my bedtime songs.

“Are you going to get up off the bed?” 

“Do I have to?” Janie whined.

“You do. We have about four million toys downstairs to put together before the three tiny humans arise in the morning.”

“Ugh. Why? Every year I say I’m not buying shit that needs to be assembled and every year I buy shit that needs a ton of assembly and usually comes with directions in Japanese.” I laughed at her a bit. She liked to be dramatic.

“It’s always been like it is downstairs?” I pulled her up off of the bed and wrapped my arms around her. She’d been keeping the door to her office on the first floor locked for weeks as she hid toys and packages. You’d think Amazon had set up a distribution center in there.

“I guess. Christmas was Greyson’s favorite holiday. He went crazy every year.” She smiled this special smile that I loved. One she reserved for when she was thinking about Greyson. It was one of my top five favorite smiles of hers. 

Smile #1 was the smile she reserved for me when we were alone. Smile #2 was the smile she used when she looked at me in public, usually referencing something I’d done for her or our family. Then there was #3, the smile she got when one of our kids did something cute, crazy, funny, or really anything. #4 was the smile associated with her writing; finishing a new piece, getting great feedback from her editor or a reader, or seeing a link to her new article tweeted by someone she respected. #5 was the Greyson smile. 

“Let’s go downstairs and start putting toys together and you can tell me all about it.” She stood on her tiptoes, kissed me, and started out the door. It was almost as if she was skipping down the stairs to the first floor. She unlocked the doors to her office and flung them open. It was the first I’d seen behind the doors in nearly a week. “Alexa, play Janie’s Christmas Favorites.”

“Playing Janie’s Christmas Favorites on Apple Music,” replied the little white device that sat on her desk.

“Did you rob a department store or Amazon maybe?”

“I may have bought everything that looked exciting to me. I couldn’t resist. This is our first Christmas all together.” There was smile number two. Every major milestone or holiday we’d experienced since January was something she went overboard on. She was having so much fun enjoying all of our firsts. The first day of school for all of the kids where we walked them together. Her first Mother’s Day as part of Harper’s life; which had been an emotional moment for me as it was the first time Harper got to experience a Mother’s Day with someone other than my own. My first Father’s Day, the kids went overboard with breakfast in bed and all of the very Dad-like things. We hadn’t gotten to the point that the kids were all calling us Mom and Dad at that point, they are now, which had both of us excited for our first Christmas as our not-so-little little family. I should’ve expected that Christmas would be even more than everything else. “Okay, so part of my tradition is that I drink while I put together Christmas presents.”

“What would you like tonight?” I asked. “Wine? We’ve got a few bottles of your favorite.”

“Jameson on the rocks,” she said. “It’s tradition.” Smile #5 told me that this was an old tradition and I’d probably be getting a story or two tonight. 

“I’ll be right back then.” I went into the kitchen, filled an ice bucket and grabbed the bottle of Jameson she kept in there. Most of our alcohol was upstairs in the bar area but there was a wine fridge in the kitchen and always a bottle of Jameson. After grabbing two glasses I headed back to the office where she was dancing to an NSYNC Christmas song and organizing gifts. I filled two glasses with ice and Jameson before handing her one.

“Are you drinking Jameson with me tonight?” I nodded.

“You said it was tradition. I’m not one for breaking traditions.”

“It is a tradition. One that from my understanding is roughly 21 years old at this point.” I settled in with a pile of gifts and got ready to put the presents together and wrap them. “Lilibet’s first Christmas, Greyson was so excited to have a baby that he went to FAO Schwartz and pretty much bought everything. He got home and had a wife who was less than enthused about having to wrap presents and put together toys because of course being as busy as he was, he did all of this shopping on Christmas Eve. He never really got any better about shopping last minute, though the invention of Amazon and having someone like me who started building the lists of what we would need for Christmas in July made him a little bit better. But still without fail we would wait until the kids got to bed on Christmas Eve and start the building and wrapping.”

“Kids?” I asked knowing that when Greyson was still alive they only had one child.

“Oh, his kids would all spend Christmas Eve Day with Amelia and her family and show up in time for cookies and cocoa at bedtime so they’d wake up with Greyson on Christmas morning. Amelia’s family tradition was always Christmas Eve so when they got divorced she requested Christmas Eve, partially knowing that for Greyson, Christmas was his favorite day of the year.”

“That’s an understatement,” Rebecca said. I looked up to see Janie’s three stepchildren walking across our apartment towards us. Janie jumped up off the floor to hug the three of them. 

“I didn’t realize you three were coming over tonight.” Janie hadn’t really filled me in on the plan. Just that she’d be up to make breakfast in the morning and her family would all appear in time for lunch and it would go late into the evening.

“Of course we are,” Elizabeth said. “A) I live here.” I laughed at how much of a smartass she was, she clearly picked that habit up from Janie because every time I’d met Amelia she seemed very warm and inviting but also like she was very proper. “B) Mom’s house will be boring tomorrow and she won’t even be there. She leaves for the Caribbean tomorrow morning with Martin for vacation.” The way that Elizabeth said his name told exactly how not only she, but all of the kids felt about their stepfather. I felt lucky that they decided they liked me because despite Amelia and Martin having been together for several years they’d never taken to him. I’d only met Martin a few times but based on what the kids said I could understand. “C) There are tiny kids here. Tiny kids are the reason that Christmas is the best day ever.”

“She’s very much her father’s child. So I have everything ready for your cookies and cocoa or if you all promise not to breathe a word to Amelia of this, you can have wine or Jameson with us.” I watched as Janie eyed the youngest of her step-children, the only one not of age to drink. 

“Are you kidding? Mom let me start drinking at holidays when I was a freshman in college because I was legal to do it where I lived most of the year.”

“Because England is amazing,” I said. Becks bent down to high five me. We had bonded really quickly because I was able to help her get some contacts in London and when she’d had an issue this fall with her flat I’d told her to move into my house. It sat empty most of the time so it was actually nice to know that someone was keeping watch of it. I told her she could live rent free as long as she kept watch of the house, didn’t throw any super wild parties, didn’t sell my belongings ob eBay, or let her college friends into my room or office, or crash any of my cars. Mainly it was to be hard on her. I was close with Elizabeth because she lived with us but Becks was most like me. I’d had a few occasions where I had to go home for work without Janie, even a few times without Harper because of school, and Becks and I had gotten a chance to bond during those visits. 

“I’m a sophomore in college. If you don’t think I drink, you’re crazy,” Jameson said. 

“Alright kids, pick your poison. But know, your father would tell you on Christmas Eve there are no options, there is only Jameson.”

“He would say that,” Elizabeth said smiling. She quickly headed out of the room, grabbed three glasses from the kitchen and came back pouring a glass of Jameson on the rocks for each of her siblings. Janie stood up, refilled her glass and topped mine off. 

“So as a kid, my parents always said this toast as they had a drink on Christmas Eve. May you be blessed with the spirit of the season, which is peace. The gladness of the season, which is hope. And the heart of the season, which is love. Slainte.” We each clinked glasses and took a drink. “As I grew older and I became part of the press pool this is one I learned and someone told me that they swore it was the toast Joe Biden used, I don’t believe them but I love it nonetheless. To all the days here and after - may they be filled with fond memories, happiness and laughter.” Another clink of the glasses and sip before I watched Janie take a deep breath. “And finally, the toast your father always gave. May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.” I watched as the kids all started laughing. 

“Cheers!” They all said before taking one more drink.

“Dad was always such a smartass,” Elizabeth said. 

“He lived to make my life uncomfortable,” Janie added. “The first Christmas he spent with my family. Oh god.”

“I remember that!” Jameson exclaimed as he started to laugh. “Didn’t he show up late?”

“Yes. I’d told him I was going out to my parents early to help Mom with dinner on Christmas Eve. We were hosting everyone the next day and since we didn’t have you kids I wanted to help my Mom and spend the day with my sisters like I always did growing up. He was a half hour late. I was so embarrassed. We had only been dating a short period of time and at Christmas he was meeting a lot of my family for the first time. He was twice my age. My father wasn’t quite sure how he felt about him yet and showing up late to Christmas Eve dinner had my Dad convinced that your father wasn’t going to last. He also then out of nerves proceeded to drink too much and I spent all mass trying to keep him from passing out on me.” The kids laughed imagining their Dad in this state. “When we went to leave that night to get home for your Mom to drop you off my parents both lectured me. It was a nightmare. They both expected that they were going to come over for Christmas morning with their daughter and her new boyfriend and his kids and find your father still drunk. Your Dad was perfect in the morning and on his best behavior all day. By the end of Christmas Day my parents both changed their opinion of him. Thank god they did.”

“Why is that?” I asked.

“He proposed to her on Christmas night as we were all unwrapping presents,” Becks answered.

“It’s why he’d been late the day before. He got stuck in traffic leaving the Tiffany store with my ring. He’d been planning on doing it Christmas Eve, which was the drinking to calm the nerves. But I’m glad he waited.”

“Me too,” Elizabeth said. “We all got to be with you then. If he’d done it Christmas Eve it wouldn’t have been quite the celebration.”

“I know. Plus it landed on Christmas Day which was your Dad’s favorite.” She looked like she might cry remembering it. I knew that it was a memory she cherished. We’d talked about it a little, she’d told me the basics of how he proposed but not the details. She’d always said she never wanted me to feel like I had to compete with Greyson. He was a grand gesture kind of guy as she explained it. Everything was over-the-top. There was never anything small in his book. She’d told me that he grew up in a small apartment with his parents in Brooklyn. His Dad worked two jobs to make ends meet and his Mom worked in the cafeteria at the school he went to. He’d studied hard to be able to get a scholarship to college and was self-made, which was incredibly impressive considering how successful he was before his death and the fact that his five children would never experience college debt and truthfully wouldn’t have to work a day in their lives if they didn’t want to.

I had learned that I was different from Greyson in a lot of ways. I liked to do little things for her and she told me how much she loved that. That somedays she’d come home from running the kids to school and I’d have breakfast made. I’d bring flowers home for her every time it was my turn to run to the grocery store. That sometimes I’d take the kids to the park on a Saturday morning so that she could get a massage and pedicure that I’d scheduled without telling her. When she was gone in summer for the Democratic and Republican National Conventions working I’d called to get her hotel rooms upgraded, had flowers waiting in each of the rooms and when she’d get home on Friday I’d have a massage scheduled and dinner reservations so that we could have a quiet night together. I’d done this anytime she’d traveled for work which had been a lot lately with the election having been last month. 

Listening to Janie and the kids tell stories about Greyson was really enjoyable. They laughed at the memories they had of him. Little by little over the almost year we’d been together Janie would open up about Greyson. When she finally got comfortable telling me about his death she planned a night where Elizabeth was gone, my Mom had all three of the kids and she had a lot of Kleenex and even more liquid courage. It was hard for her to relive. It broke my heart to watch her go through the emotions of retelling what his death and the time shortly after it was like. She went from having a dream life with a baby on the way to her whole world crashing around her. Knowing how far she’d come had me so proud of who she was now. Despite not knowing her them, I knew her now and knew how strong she was. 

“Okay kiddos, time for bed. Your younger siblings will be waking us all up in a few hours to see what Santa delivered,” Janie said. We’d moved all of the presents around the giant Christmas tree in the living room. Getting the Christmas tree up here had been a task. Janie picked the tallest tree I’d ever seen outside of a department store and we lugged it through the building and in the elevator but she claimed it was perfect. After hugs from all three of the kids and we watched the girls take off for Elizabeth’s room, which was now in Nellie’s old room, and Jameson taking off upstairs to Elizabeth’s old room which we’d converted to a guest bedroom that he stayed in when he was with us. Janie stood staring at the tree, I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her. 

“What are you looking at, love?” I asked.

“My three favorite ornaments on the tree.”

“Which three?” 

She pointed first at one that was a little frame that said ‘Baby’s First Christmas’ on the bottom of it. The photo inside was of she, Greyson, and the grown kids. In Janie’s arms was a tiny baby Finnegan. They were all standing in front of a giant Christmas tree that looked a lot like the one we were looking at right now but standing in the living room of what I knew to be the brownstone in Brooklyn that Janie and Greyson had lived in when they were married. Despite it being a small photo I could see the giant smiles on everyone’s faces as they all surrounded Finn. 

The second ornament was another “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament. This one wasn’t quite as happy as the first. It was Janie, Finn, the grown kids and a tiny little Grey. She was a happy baby and everyone was all smiles but there was a darkness over the rest of the family. It was their second Christmas without Greyson and first with his namesake. While everyone was happy to have little Grey but they missed their leader. 

The third and final was a similar frame to the first two but rather than saying “Baby’s First Christmas” it just said “Christmas 2020” on it. Inside the frame was us. Our family, all of eight of us, standing in front of the Christmas tree we were admiring right now. The weekend after Thanksgiving, after Janie had lugged this tree through the city with Jameson and I in tow, we all gathered at the house. Thanksgiving was Amelia’s holiday, the only one that Janie still requested and that Amelia easily obliged to was Christmas Day. Janie had made a huge deal out of the weekend. The kids showed up Friday night in time for family pizza night, something that since Elizabeth moving in with Janie often included Jameson and always included Becks if she was home. We started watching Christmas movies and decorating the house. Saturday Elizabeth and Becks took the littles shopping to pick out their new ornaments for the year and find a few other things for the house. Saturday night was filled with Christmas music, way too much food and decorating the massive tree that Janie insisted on having. Just us and the six kids. At the end of the night, when the tree was decorated and we were all dressed in the matching pajamas that Janie had found, Becks used her exceedingly impressive selfie skills to take a photo of all of us with the tree behind us. It was perfect and a bit crazy, just like us.

“Those are your three favorites?”

“Yup. They are the first ornaments for each stage of my family in it’s evolution. There are a few pre-Finn that I love but having him made Christmas magical for me. My first Christmas with Grey was so hard but Finny worked to make it fun. And honestly, without those three that just went to bed, I would’ve given up on Christmas the moment Greyson died. It’s a hard day for me. It just serves to remind me how much I miss him.” I lightly kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be talking like this. It’s our first Christmas together, not all that great to listen to your girlfriend cry about missing her husband.”

“I miss him for you. I love you and I am so grateful that I have you in my life but I wish I’d known Greyson. He seems like he was an incredible person.”

“He was. He would’ve liked you a lot. You’re so good to his kids.”

“I love them as if they were my own.”

“I know. We are lucky to have you,” she said as she turned around, stood on her tiptoes and kissed me. “Let’s go to bed. We’ll have six kids up before you know it.” I squeeze her tightly before we headed upstairs to bed. It didn’t take long before we both passed out cold.

“Mommy….Daddy, I think Santa came,” came the whisper of Finn. I opened one eye and saw him. His face was a few inches from mine. 

“How do you know that, buddy?” I asked, my voice clearly not prepared to talk to an excited 5 year old yet. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was 6:05. We’d only been asleep for about three hours.

“There are glitter footprints in my room!” That was all Elizabeth and Becks.

“There are?!” Janie was doing her best to sound excited while also trying not to show that she was pissed off she’d been woken up. She loved sleep. 

“Yeah!”

“Okay, let Mommy and I get up and then we can get your sisters and go downstairs.”

“Okay.” Finn crawled into our bed as I turned the TV on to cartoons for him. We went into the master bathroom and shut the door. 

“Fuck. I just want to sleep. I should’ve told him no waking up until 7:00,” Janie groaned.

“It’s okay. He’s excited.” After a few minutes we both emerged, feeling a little bit more human. “Okay, I’m gonna go get the girls. Why don’t you two go wake up Jamo?” Finn jumped onto his Mom’s back and she carried him piggyback down the hall to Jameson’s room as I went and got the girls up. After bathroom time and brushed teeth we found Janie and Finn at the end of the hall.

“Jameson isn’t in his room,” Finn announced as we found them sitting on the stairs at the end of the hall.

“Well maybe he’s up already,” I said. “Okay kids on the count of three you can head downstairs.”

“One,” Janie whispered.

“Two,” I answered in an equally hushed tone.

“Three,” we said together and watched as our three kids took off down the stairs. We followed quickly. As we made it to the first floor we found all three of grown kids asleep on the giant sectional in the living room. The yells and giggles of the kids woke them up. Judging by how easy it was to wake them up I knew that they were all pretending to sleep while they waited for the kids. 

“Merry Christmas,” Elizabeth exclaimed as she quickly caught all three of them in her arms.

“Merry Christmas,” three tiny voices replied. 

“Santa was here!” Finn declared.

“He totally was,” Jameson replied. “I set up the cameras to try and catch him last night. Let’s see if we got him.” It was a stall technique. All of us needed coffee. I watched as Elizabeth and Becks headed into the kitchen with Janie to start coffee and get drinks for the kids. I sat down with the girls in my lap as Jameson had Finn in his. Jameson pulled up the app for the security cameras in the house and started to rewind it. “Whoa! There he is.”

“It’s Santa!” Finn yelled.

“Ho ho ho!” came the voice through the camera. It was Jameson’s voice and judging by the way Santa moved it was also him dressed up in a Santa costume. 

“Daddy, it’s Santa!” Harper said excitedly. 

“It is. I wonder what he brought you?” The kids all jumped down from our laps and started looking through the presents that surrounded the tree. Janie handed me a cup of coffee and as she sat down next to me with her legs going across my lap and rested her head on my shoulder. Becks handed her brother a coffee before crashing back into the couch. The kids all started digging through the presents as Elizabeth decided to play gift giver and sat on the floor with them. 

One by one each of the littles started opening presents. Eventually Janie stood up and started handing out presents to her stepkids. She’d had a lot of fun getting gifts for everyone and had drug me out shopping on a few occasions. She had gone a little overboard but it was nice to see that she was enjoying herself rather than dreading today. As all of the gifts came to a close we moved towards the kitchen for breakfast before we all began getting ready for family to arrive for the remainder of the day’s celebrations.    

“You did good, love,” I said as I wrapped my arms around her.

“Thanks and thank you for all of your help.”

“Of course. You did miss one present though,” I said as I pulled a small blue box with a white ribbon out of it’s hiding place in the kitchen. 

“You weren’t supposed to get me anything big, Styles. And you already gave me so much.” She gestured at the pile of gifts in the living room that were from me and the kids, knowing that I’d paid for the gifts from all three of the littles to her. She opened the box I’d handed her and found inside a heart shaped rose gold locket. “Harry.” I watched as her eye started to water.

“Open it,” I replied. She used her fingernail to pop open the heart where inside she found a photo from this summer of all six of the kids that she’d taken when we were in the Hamptons for Finn’s birthday. The opposite side was a photo of the two of us together, locked in a kiss.

“Harry, this is too much.”

“No, it’s not. It’s actually not enough.” She looked at me confused. “You have been the architect of this beautiful family and I wanted you to be able to carry us with you everywhere.”

“I love you,” she said as she went to kiss me. I unclasped the necklace and hung it around her neck.

“I love you too.” I kissed her again and held her close. “Merry Christmas, J.”

“Merry Christmas, Styles.”     

Again, I sincerely apologize about this being late but I hope you enjoyed it. I can’t wait to hear from you. :) 

Now to get to work on the next chapter of Los Angeles, When Will You Save Me?

xx AM.

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