#genuinely really dont mind what my sexuality and gender is as long as im happy and YET.... its like chasing my own tail with myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms · 3 months

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Trigun! Genshin Impact! Mystic Messenger! And Blue Exorsist! Matchups?! Its me again! Its been a while! But dont worry about finding my old post I made a slightly updated one for you!

My Appearance: Im AFAB, Im around 5’4-5’5 with light skin and short curly very dark brown hair. I have blue eyes that are downturned and hooded and I wear glasses. Im thin with an hourglass figure but flat. I also have keratosis thats moderate on my arms and cheeks but really bad on my legs, chest and lower back. Oh and really veiny hands that are kind of bigger than I’d like them to be. I have a kind of pointy tongue and its longer than average!

Personality: I'm kind of a people pleaser and I can't stand to hear people fighting as I associate yelling with physical harm and I get really quiet and I try to make myself smaller when I'm being yelled at or around people yelling. I usually have a hard time focusing when people talk to me and I show a lot of signs of adhd. I don't usually talk a lot, unless I'm around someone I trust and I have horrible anxiety when talking to new people. I do really like spending time with people though and I have a soft spot for protective and soft people. I crave physical contact, but I'm very hesitant to actually touch anyone and I get really twitchy when someone stands next to me. I have an anxiety tick where my shoulders will jolt forward if someone I don't know or trust is standing near me. I'm also very attentive and if someone asks for my help I will be by there side as fast as I can. It takes a lot to get me to talk, unless you trigger one of my interests in which case it seems like I won't shut up. I'm a bit of a workaholic as in if I don't have anything to do I will kind of just rearrange my house so I have something to do. I rarely cry when im sad but I cry so much when im mad.

Interests: I love learning about new cultures, more accurately food! I love baking and cooking and eating! I like learning new languages as well!

Facts: Im an INFP. My sexuality is unlabeled but I do consider myself on the Aspec and I’ve felt more attraction to men but above gender im mostly attracted to peoples emotional connections and their personalities! I have Food Texture Aversion with mushy foods like yogurt and applesauce. I really don't like yelling or loud noises, unless its music, and bright lights tend to freak me out too, as well as to much physical sensations. Curtain sounds such as towels and paper make me freak out too. I love books and reading! Im an Empath.

A main thing: My hands/fingers shake and twitch almost constantly. I cannot hold them steady because they very visibly shake so much sometimes people think im faking but I genuinely cannot hold them still.

~💞🍋

Hi Lemons! Long time no see! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I hope you like your matchups!

In Trigun Stampede, I match you with...

You and Vash are very similar in the sense that you both enjoy being around people and dislike conflict.

Very perceptive so usually he’ll be able to tell when someone’s starting to get too close to you. If he sees your tick starting to act up, he’ll move you closer to himself before moving away from the stranger together.

Please ask him questions about any cultures and languages you want. He’s got tons of knowledge about those sorts of things, both from books and from first hand experience, and he enjoys being able to share those things with people who are interested in it.

Vash loves anything you bake or cook for him. He’d also love to cook with you if you don’t mind having someone else in the kitchen with you.

I think Vash would also enjoy reading with you. He would especially like it if you would read to him but won't force you. He’d also be happy to read to you or read quietly, depending on what you’d prefer.

In Genshin Imapct, I match you with...

Much like Vash, Kazuha is very similar to you in that he likes interacting with people. He especially likes it when he’s able to interact with people when he’s with you.

He also enjoys learning about cultures, foods from different regions, and languages. He finds them fascinating and is very glad you find them interesting as well.

Kazuha’s not a loud or combative person so there’s no need to worry about him raising his voice around you. The last thing he wants is for you to be uncomfortable.

Doesn’t mind that you’re not super talkative. He enjoys the peace and quiet and knows that if anything needs to be said, it can be without getting lost in too much mindless chatter.

Loves reading with you. He would appreciate it if you read something he’s written and give him feedback. Expect him to write about you a lot: you’re his muse and inspiration.

In Mystic Messenger, I match you with...

V definitely falls into the category of soft but protective. You’ll always feel safe with V around and, regardless of whether you think you’re protective or not, V feels safe around you as well.

Knows what it’s like to a workaholic but will do his best to make sure you take regular breaks and never overwork yourself too badly.

Loves any food you make. Due to his poor eyesight, V can’t really cook too much so he’s grateful for anything you make for him.

Will take photos of you if you’re comfortable with that. He loves being able to capture you in moments that will remind him, not only of how you are physically but capture your personality as well.

Will usually keep a hand on your shoulder when in public so he can feel if your tick is acting up. He also likes the reassurance of knowing that you’re together.

In Blue Exorcist, I match you with...

Yukio is a bit different from the others on this list since he’s a lot more closed off with his emotions. However, when he can’t contain it anymore, he can be very expressive.

Out of everyone, Yukio is the most likely to yell at or around you. He gets worked up and bottles up his anger for too long and when he finally unleashes it, anyone can be a target.

He will always be completely apologetic once he calms down though. The last thing he wants to do is make you uncomfortable and he’ll do whatever it takes to gain your trust again.

Enjoys spending time with you in libraries and bookshops. He’s usually studying or reading up on demons so he likes being able to spend time with you while doing one of his favourite things.

You’re both workaholics so you’ll need to help keep each other in line. Take regular breaks together and keep each other honest with the amount of work you’re doing.

#writing #fanfic #matchup #matchup request #request #trigun stampede #vash #genshin impact #kazuha kaedehara #mystic messenger #v #jihyun kim #blue exorcist #yukio okumura

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dog-teeth · 2 years

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Hiii please don't answer if this question is too much but I was wondering what your experience as a trans person existing is like? Rn I'm cis passing and low-key making me miserable but the anxiety of how I would b treated in the world is so so so scary so I guess is it hard? Are you treated any different? Especially the non-binary thing bc that's me too <3

haiii as always i write fucken essays so its below the cut lol

well first of all i can only speak to my own experience, which is obvs influenced by the other parts of my life like my location/class/race/sexuality/personality/etc, it difficult/impossible to distill what "being trans" is like without factoring in everything else.

but anyways, i'm extremely lucky to have had the security to come out and be open about my transness since i'm surrounded by really excellent people. when i came out i was 14 and didn't know any other trans people, and it sucked, but i feel like even in just the past 6ish years there's a LOT more visibility for trans people than there was back then, and obvs i was young and had a lot less personal autonomy at the time. but my friends were all really cool about it and my parents were chill as well, and i went to a good high school where my teachers were respectful (i got misgendered by other students but once they were aware of me being trans they usually stopped) so i honestly didn't face that much external difficulty because of my gender.

the period between coming out and medically transitioning was rough a lot of the time tho, just because of the frustration of trying to be seen a certain way and the world never seeing you that way, at times it felt futile to even try and for a long time i really wished i wasn't trans, because being trans had never brought me any joy, so i didn't have pride in it the way i could with my sexuality, as it had only ever caused me pain (whereas my queer sexuality had lead me to love, sex, community, etc). but those were internally-driven feelings, not anything specific in how i was treated except for generally living in a world that didn't see me as myself, but that's also true when ur not out. it took a lot of fighting to be seen, and learning how to make myself happy.

since coming out, though, its been really really amazing. meeting & connecting with other trans people, dating other trans people, helping other people figure out their gender identities by being myself around them, making art about being trans, etc, is very rewarding, and obvs u can do that without being "out" too.

emotionally its very fulfilling, like jesus christ medically transitioning once i was an adult was so fucking awesome. i hadnt realized how much not being visible as my gender to other people was holding me back and distressing me until it stopped. even though i had socially transitioned earlier and been respected by people around me, it wasnt until i went on hrt and had top surgery that i felt really really good about existing as a trans person, when i could exist at any time in any space in any clothes and be seen how i wanted to be seen, and felt like my body was as it should be.

i don't really get treated differently tbh, most people don't readily assume ppl are trans so upon meeting me people just think im a queer guy, and i only bring up being trans when i want to & feel ok doing so. being nonbinary some people are bad about using my pronouns but i honestly dont care much. every once in a while i have to explain gender stuff to people but again i dont mind. its def more annoying than if i was a binary trans person but meh.

there's some annoying/anxiety-inducing stuff like dealing with extended family, doctors appointments, legal documents, and situations where i feel like i have to try to be Stealth, but those are rare compared to my everyday life where i'm genuinely just vibing.

i completely respect trans people who don't want to be out for whatever reason, but personally i've found it to be very rewarding and i can only imagine how miserable i'd be if i couldn't be open about my gender.

tldr; it's hard while you're figuring yourself out, but if the people around you are generally good, it's extremely awesome to be able to be yourself and transition!

#i was jsut thinking the other day about how crazy it is that i was just like i want to be a boy . and then i did it #cant think too hard abt how it felt to be younger and just wishing i could be an androgynous cool boy but knowing i was stuck in my body #but now i Did That its crazy i never thought it would be possible #ez answers #gender stuff

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rjshepherd · 3 years

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Hi! What do u think the lords' sexualities are? 👀

hI DONT MIND ME IMA GO FERAL FOR A MOMENT. ok so i KNOW i mentioned in my big ass head canon posts for donna and karl that i dont hold a particular sexuality for them because that means i can write them as freely as possible but lik i kinda do. i know im sorry, sometimes you cant help such things. people give you VIBES and these guys are NO different so here are some of my thoughts.

5 Lords Sexualities headcanons

Miranda - straight...ish.

So i don't really write for miranda, nor do i intend to . as such i feel like she's the ONLY lord i can honestly say i don't hold a sexuality hc for. Obviously at one point in her existence she was attracted to men, or at least enough to have a child with one. But that was a long time ago and sexuality can be a fluid thing that changes or adapts over time. I would say she's mostly straight but given her other issues i genuinely don't see her caring too much about the gender of her partner. If she likes you, she'll let you know, if she doesn't like you, she'll use you as experiment fodder. easy as. Mother "my sexuality is science" Miranda lmao.

Alcina- Lesbian

I mean i think as a collective we've all decided she's a lesbian, which is fine, i can see that and i can get behind that. I think maybe when she was younger and outside the village she was kind of a Bambi lesbian but now she's older and more confident in herself, she's hella proud of her interest in women. Castle dimitrescu is filled with female centric art, a lot of it by queer artists. Her library is filled with Sappho's collected works , Charlotte bronte and Alison Bechdel comics for her girls. I don't think she has any sexual interest in men but i can still see her dominating them or maybe doing something with them before eating them like a black widow spider. Its not about the sex but more about the power.

Donna- asexual- bi/pan demiromantic

So i said that donna has big Ace vibes and i stand by that. however i think she might be Bi/Pan romantic or Demi-Bi/Pan romantic. i usually dislike the overt sexualiszation of child like characters but i also dislike the overt desexualisation of characters with autistic or neurodivergent traits, like theyre too uwu innocent to have such thoughts. I canon donna as ace bc she reminds me of me, not just because of who she is as a character. She can fuck if she wants, she'd just usually prefer not to. She seems like the kind of open sort who literally wouldnt care about your gender one way or the other, as long as you loved her bc thats what she really wants.

Salvatore- Gay

i have no idea why this was the first thought that entered my head when i asked myself "who does sal like?" i guess as a human i have this mental image of him being a sophisticated old queen with a new york accent, giving out sage advice to all the young lgbtqia+ folks in the village. Unfortunately, hes not a sophisticated fellow but a scraggly gross fishman with the mind of a neglected child. Because of that i have a hard time imagining him in sexual situations. again, maybe when he was human, maybe in his teenage years before miranda mutated him, he liked men and was shunned as a result. maybe that made him an easy target for miranda ? this is all speculation so feel free to ( politely) disagree with me on all of this.

Karl - Bi/pan demisexual/demiromantic

Karl has big "why is everyone so hot" vibes to go with donnas "global warming" vibes. Karl is the only one i could look at and go "you know this man would have squishes over crushes". i know in the fandom we have this thing about making him really sexual, wanting to fuck and fuck hard at every given opportunity but my personal headcanon is that he really doesnt care that much about sex. If you were his partner he'd do what you wanted to make you happy; he's a sex favorable ace and can have a libido to match yours. but he just doesnt feel that much sexual attraction to you, regardless of how much he loves you in other ways. He's a pretty shameless flirt with anyone he finds aesthetically pleasing but the moment someone reciprocates or starts flirting with him he just forgets how to talk. Remarks about his attractiveness fly over his head and he really doesnt get alicna's obsession with having titty art all over the place. hes one to talk: not a single soldat is wearing a shirt

thank you for letting me ramble nonnie!

#Karl heisenberg #alcina dimitrescu #donna beneviento #salvatore moreau #mother miranda #resident evil #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #re8 #headcanons #my headcanons #karl heisenberg headcanons #my stuff #my writing #asks

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badatusernames · 4 years

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CHOJI, SHIKAMARU, LEE, GAARA & HINATA!! ITS A LOT IM SORRY

THANK U FOR THIS...admittedly some answers may be a lil short just so i can like. Get to them all.

EDIT: IDK WHY IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. IM SO TIRED. IM SORRY ITS JUST A LONGASS NARUTO POST ON YOUR DASH I TRIED MY FUCKIN BEST YALL

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THIS;

Chouji (man i’ve seen it spelled both ways and i’m just used to typing Chouji at this point sorry)

Sexuality Headcanon: Pansexual!! Gender Headcanon: Cis male A ship I have with said character: SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARUUUU, my god...just, everything about their dynamic makes my heart melt, the way they’re both people who are easily dismissed by others and how they have such UNFALTERING FAITH in each other. chouji knows how much of a genius shikamaru is, knows very well the fact that despite his laziness, once he commits to something he’s in it for the LONG HAUL, the way shikamaru just believes so steadfastly in chouji, considering him stronger than NEJI FOR FUCKS SAKE...they like. get one another, the kind of relationship where you can be yakking away one minute and then just sitting in contented silence the next. they can just laze around. maybe play video games and snack. and sometimes...kiss. and it’s so chill even with that latent tenderness their later relationship develops and they both just feel so safe and KNOWN and familiar like. love your best friend. anyway everyone slept on shikacho and y’all should be ashamed the naruto fandom is enormous and finding pretty much ANY content for it is almost impossible aside from the small (if lovely and amazing) tag and i’m pretty hyperfixated on it if you couldn’t tell holy SHIT. A BROTP I have with said character: i’m really not a fan of ino taking potshots at him for his weight and outright shaming him, but once she grows out of that i absolutely love their friendship. listen, you know that post thats like--hold on

thats just them, thanks. A NOTP I have with said character: i have nothing against karui but canon is fucking dead to me and my opinions on p much all the “endgame” ships range from utterly neutral to absolute loathing. their relationship is on neither end of the spectrum, but. eh. definitely not into it. A random headcanon: he keeps nursing injured animals back to health because he’s just that fucking sweet and bringing them back to his house to keep them warm and safe while they recover and his team knows vaguely about this and ino and shikamaru like to poke fun at him for it but since they don’t tend to encounter said animals, it’s not really a huge deal.

of course they stop by his house one day bc he hadn’t shown up for training which is annoying and frankly a little concerning and finding the house mostly empty ino just bursts on into chouji’s room only to immediately have the opossum he’s been caring for latch its little paws on her face and cling.

it’s a bad morning. General Opinion over said character: literally one of my absolute favorites of all time and it really breaks my heart how overlooked he is in the fandom (seriously y’all...). i think kishimoto is kind of a stupid hack and the Fat Jokes are really grating and it sucks to see that so intrinsically tied to his character (like. just let him be fat. jesus christ) but his kindness and overall relaxed, loyal and lovable nature has me just melting. i adore him.

Shikamaru

Sexuality Headcanon: He’s gay, scoob. (I could also talk a lot about how his earlier misogyny is both a product of being a whiny tween and also some internalized frustration of like WHATS SO GREAT ABOUT GIRLS. UGH. I DONT. STOP TELLING ME IM GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH ONE ONE DAY DAD JESUS. and let’s be real, thats frustrating, even if it aint an excuse) Gender Headcanon: he uses he/him pronouns because it’s just what he’s used to and comfortable with but man gender is such a drag... A ship I have with said character: SEE ABOVE SHIKACHO RANT A BROTP I have with said character: naruto! he and naruto have a really adorable friendship and i love love LOVE that he and chouji were shown to be kind and accepting of him even when most people were shunning him. also he’s so fucking dumb i love seeing shikamaru meticulously plan out something only to have naruto shriek into battle and ruin all of it. love those guys. stupid bros. A NOTP I have with said character: ok. im sorry i just. loathe sh*katema i really do. i haaaate the way kishimoto writes this whole “ew a GIRL” “ew a MAN” vibe with the like OOOH BUT THEYRE GONNA LIKE EACH OTHER vibe like.

don’t get me wrong i adore them as friends, i think they’re fantastic scathing and witty pals who bitch about anything and everything including each other

but they’re also both gay and kishimoto can suck my nuts byeeee A random headcanon: sometimes pakkun just fucking Shows up and chills with him. shikamaru wants absolutely no part of this but is way too lazy to like. do anything about it so it’s just this guy and a dog sitting in a field chillin and occasionally him piping up like ‘hey kid. remember when i bit your hand? yeah? haha, man time sure does fly.” while shikamaru is just. go aWAY. General Opinion over said character: if you told 9 year old me watching naruto for the first time my favs were gonna be a three way tie of lee, shikamaru and chouji i never would have fucking believed you but here we are. i love him. i absolutely love him. he’s such a whiny bastard and a really good depiction of burnout genius who doesnt want to do ANYTHING, but his intellect is an absolute DELIGHT to watch. i love him very much.

Lee

Sexuality Headcanon: he’s pan!! this is a boy that crushes easily and crushes hard on just about anyone!!!! Gender Headcanon: cis male A ship I have with said character: ok i ship him a lot with neji actually? what with how neji grows during the course of the series to regard lee with the respect he deserves is really sweet and there’s just something so infinitely adorable about him going around being the hammiest, most ridiculously earnest, kind and enthusiastic person and neji, now that he isn’t constantly bitter and angry at the world can finally really see that? lee is always happily dropkicking his way into his life, like he wouldn’t have it any other way, and i think that’s just...so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: SAKURAAAAA. oh my GOD do i adore their relationship. ever since lee saved her and basically just gave her a glimpse of his...lee-ness, the fact her negative opinion of him IMMEDIATELY flipped and gave her such a strong admiration and fondness for him kills me DEAD. she always treats him with so much respect and the fact she’s quick to rag on anyone making fun of him melts my HEART!! and on lee’s side, his little crush on her is adorable of course, but the sheer strength of the friendship that comes from it is more than infatuation could ever offer him. i want them to hang out together and talk about their troubles...i want them to make each other laugh and be so very kind to each other...i want sakura to storm over and throw him over her shoulder to TAKE A BREAK ALREADY when he’s been training too hard for too long. god. A NOTP I have with said character: honestly i’m pretty happy with a lot of lee ships! the only ones i view with obvious disdain are the ones with creepy age gaps honestly. A random headcanon: out of everyone in the leaf genin, he’s probably the closest anyone’s ever come to someone who EVERYONE is at least distantly friendly towards. like god have you SEEN how warm and inviting and concerned he is the SECOND he sees that naruto is feeling down? i get the sense he’s immediately inclined to provide that kind of support to any of his comrades, even the ones that Resist it.

you think sasuke is the most popular among the leaf genin? puh-LEASE. everyone looks on rock lee with at least a LITTLE bit of warmth. thats just fact. General Opinion over said character: since my first viewing of naruto he has been my Absolute fav, and while chouji and shikamaru are veeery close to stealing that spot, one look at him and i feel he’s gonna be on top forever. probably the best written character kishimoto’s ever produced that’s remained in the main cast (tho i dont speak for shipudden onwards who fucking knows, but the truth of it is is i adore rock lee)

Gaara

Sexuality Headcanon: Panromantic Asexual Gender Headcanon: kind of like shikamaru, i feel like he uses he/him pronouns but also doesn’t particularly....Care? A ship I have with said character: ok so it wasnt until my naruto rewatch that i really started falling into this but i think him and naruto are super cute? while i loathe kishimoto for ruining so much abt this show he really is good at creating good foils to naruto, and gaara is no exception--and the way naruto changes his life by just kicking his ass (and proving he’s not just a Simp or smth) and then just, extending genuine empathy and a REAL sense of truly relating to where he’s coming from re:his upbringing? the EFFECT it has on him, bro!!!! my god!!! i feel like they’re that opposites attract ship that don’t clash constantly but instead fall into this adorable synergy and understanding? and i think thats so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: ...is it cheating to just put temari and kankuro here? bc they are literally his siblings but my GOD do i love their relationship. there’s something so deeply sad about their initial situation??? like having siblings that either are deeply fucking afraid of you or clearly don’t care for your well being whatsoever, it’s such a tragic scenario, and the times where they really do show legitimate care for gaara just breaks my heart...but the GROWTH. THE DEVELOPMENT. THE HEALING. i love the sand siblings so much, i am a STRONG advocate of seeing the development from estranged family to loving, occasionally bickering siblings who absolutely Love Each Other A NOTP I have with said character: uhhhh same with lee in that i don’t really mind most of the ships i’ve seen him in? while i don’t particularly ship gaalee i think its also Very Cute, and really it all just seems pretty valid as long as people aren’t being creepy? A random headcanon: i’ve been wracking my brain for one for a good 20 minutes and i just don’t have one he’s such a mystery to me/????? i love him but he is an enigma?? General Opinion over said character: oh my god he’s such an edgelord in the beginning. i’ve been doing a lot of this naruto rewatch with my friend @drashseed (a simply phenomenal fella 10/10 follow him) and every single time he talked the only valid response just became “ok gaara”

but his backstory? utterly HEARTWRENCHING. and his growth is just. absolutely divine, i adore him. thank you mister sandman for doing so much for us all.

Hinata

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual Gender Headcanon: cis woman A ship I have with said character: listen. i think kibahina is........Really Really cute. he cares about her so MUCH??? and there’s a certain tenderness to his interactions with her that’s just really evident whenever you see em together? i really love that you get the sense hinata is COMFORTABLE around him!!! like! i feel like hinata really deserves to have a partner who sees her when she ISN’T blushing and stammering? when she’s like? legitimately comfortable and being HERSELF? (dgmw the blushing is adorable i fucking love her but its one of the gripes i have with naruhina that so much of it is just naruto being oblivious and her having a small panic attack) the comfort she and kiba have make for a chill, adorable relationship i just cry over constantly A BROTP I have with said character: so i was GONNA put naruto here, but technically i already put him there for shikamaru’s so i’m gonna say neji!!! uhhh OBVIOUSLY they got off to a. very rough start but the way their dynamic changed (or perhaps in a way reverted back to the times they interacted before neji’s father died and temporarily killed his Human Decency) into this respect and fondness that’s just...such a delight to watch? i’m a SUCKER for slow and mutual reconciliation and there are just so many sweet moments between them. they are FAMILY, BRO!!! THEY CARE FOR EACH OTHER, BRO!!!!!!!!!! A NOTP I have with said character: ...at the risk of sounding like a broken record, i think a lot of hinata ships are quite cute? i guess i’m gonna have to say sasuke. because like.

has. he ever even looked at her. please. jesus christ. she deserves so much better. A random headcanon: she is a LOT physically stronger than she looks!! a lot of her combat techniques rely on taijustu after all so it’d make sense that she puts a lot of effort into physical training alongside chakra control.

i’m trying to say she’s strong. not as strong as sakura but. she can lift her bf up over her head (he’s dying hes dying he’s dYING he lOVES HER SO MUCH). it’s pretty fuckign badass

General Opinion over said character: i LOVE her??? honest to god i really really do--honestly while i dislike the direction they went in canon with her, i really loved seeing her be motivated to grow and change the parts of herself she hated to become a stronger person.

that and she’s so fucking cute and sweet and i just??????? bless her honestly.

#naruto #shikacho #narugaa #nejilee #kibahina #they speak #i cant tag everyone fuck #is this formatting fucked up? i can't tell it wouldnt post before #long post

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pharahlesbian · 4 years

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What are your opinions on aromantic folks?

well, its kind of complicated. on the one hand, i dont rly feel like u guys r doing anything wrong per se, like none of u ever seem to do any of the harmful shit that aces do. and aro is an identity i used to hold really closely. roughly 4-5 years ago, i was on here identifying as aroace.

my personal experience with both labels is that they did measurable harm to my perception of myself and my sexuality. when i did eventually realize i was a lesbian, i didn’t immediately suspect those labels had done me any harm. not until i read several other accounts of ppl who went through a near identical experience as me

see, the answer to your question is complicated bc i first have to address split attraction. its one of my main gripes with asexuality. its my firm belief that romantic and sexual attraction should not be so neatly sequestered the way many people describe them to be. the reality of attraction is that every single person experiences it uniquely and defines it for themselves and themselves alone. i genuinely think the labels “aromantic” and “asexual” and all their variants shouldnt exist at all. and i think they are REGRESSIVE. i really do. they impede progress in a society that desperately needs it. we NEED a more healthy view of sex in our society. we NEED people to understand that its normal and ok to not want sex, or to experience varying degrees of attraction. not wanting sex or romance should be as normal as not wanting your ears pierced. and it should be something you discuss with your partner and your partner alone. having labels for this very normal experience is honestly just setting us back. we dont need to get caught up in a hundred micro labels to describe the ways we have sex. we can just have sex, or dont! or have sex once a month, once a year! or never! and thats your choice and you shouldnt be made to feel like u need to have 5 labels for what should just be how youre feeling. attraction is so nebulous, theres no way we could ever pin it down with labels and we should really stop trying

so. how do i feel about aromantic ppl. well, how do i feel about aromanticism? its a tough conversation to have, because of how personal it is, and its why ive put off this ask for a really long time. i was aroace, yeah, but aro was the label i was really passionate about. im gonna tell you some stuff u might not want to hear, but its my experience.

i was aro because i was lonely, and i was aro because i was scared. i knew i had feelings for girls, but i didnt know how to reconcile them, especially with my burgeoning gender qualms i was also having (which was also happening bc of the aforementioned attraction to girls, but thats another conversation entirely). it was scary, trying to pin down the fact that i was only attracted to girls. and i mightve come to that conclusion a lot sooner if it werent for tumblr telling me about asexuality/aromanticism/split attraction. suddenly i had a copout. cant be attracted to girls if im attracted to no one, right? that plus the fact that when youre lonely and havent experimented with dating, when everything is in hypotheticals, then anything is possible (“well i guess i COULD be attracted to men... but id never have sex with them! so i guess im panro-ace” <-an actual identity i had at age 19. comp het feeds on these micro labels and split attraction)

please keep in mind none of this is directed at you or even aromantics as a whole, im still just talking about my own experience. and my experience was that the aroace label was definitely just a convenient place to hide from being a lesbian. and i know others have had similar experiences.

so...once again. how DO i feel about aromantics? i feel as though we live in a very romance-forward world. romance is everywhere, once youre looking for it. i think i was rather bitter, and preferred pretending that not dating was an identity, rather than the painful reality of firstly not knowing what i wanted, and secondly not even knowing if id BE wanted. i think we all have varying degrees of attraction, both romantic and sexual, and i think for many the two kind of exist in tandem. and again for many, these feelings can exist a lot stronger for them than they do for others. so it leaves a lot of ppl feeling like they MUST be different. i think it makes a lot of sense that i identified strongly with aromanticism, even aside from me using it as something to hide behind. ive never really been much of a romantic. i never had too many crushes, and i only ever imagined romantic scenarios if it were fictional characters i shipped.

of course once i saw someone list these types of things out as evidence of being aro, i was like oh thats me! and latched onto it. and never did anymore introspection. the label was a copout. now, i could tell u that being aroace was a product of knowing i wasnt attracted to men yet not being able to face being attracted to women, so i was like “oh ok guess i have No attraction!” and i can tell u that since ive been with my girlfriend, ive become the sappiest romantic ever.

im not gonna tell you “you just havent found the right person yet :)” but i will say that if you have even the slightest doubt or uncertainty, to go out and experiment! date around and see how you feel. no one can tell you who u are or how u feel except u. u wont be a hypocrite for experimenting. but if youre already sure u dont really feel romantic attraction, then more power to you. not everyone on this earth needs to get married or date. i do think our society needs to normalize just being happy with who you are, and not see it as pitiful. thats an opinion that is so hard to have when youre single, bc u cant help but feel like youre pathetically trying to justify being alone, so im doubling down now that im in a relationship. its fucking ok to not be in a relationship!! if theres one thing that’s stayed the same since i was aro its my assertion that ppl need to fucking chill about orher peoples relationship status

i feel like this answer went in one THOUSAND different directions, but ive been thinking about how to answer this for a while and decided to just word vomit

TL;DR: aromantics are fine, not as harmful as asexuality, you do you, make sure you examime yourself and how you feel often, dont just take the word of ppl on tumblr (me included), everyone experiences attraction differently, i just wish split attraction model didnt exist because its perfectly fine to not want sex/romance or to have low/nonexistent attraction, i just dont believe in the labels/identities.

#ask #sorry if this is absolutely incoherent #aromiiic #ace shit #hoping u wont see this as like Hate Speech but an actual like Conversation #its a weird perspective bc there was a time when thatd be me asking a question like that with an icon like that #i remember always trying to raise awareness of aro stuff in the ace community #these conversations always require lots of nuance and understanding #unfortunately tumblr is usually low on reserves wrt nuance and tact #i always try tho and i always have high hopes that ppl respond in kind

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elvesofnoldor · 5 years

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im losing my entire fucking mind and i dont know anything abt myself anymore and why? why? all cause one day in undergrad, out of nowhere, i went “hey am i a woman?” like i was asking myself what flavour of cheesecake i wanted for dessert. That was like, right after i felt comfortable with the fact that im a lesbian. And the answer should have been simple and short: “yeah duh you dumb fucking bitch, why did you ask? why do you think asking this is fucking productive? forget about it!” But no, i decided to engage with the question and it opened a fucking pandora’s box, and this question latched onto me like a fucking parasite, because this question allows me to think about another crucial question im always afraid to ask myself: am i truly attracted to men? With lesbianism, i can answer this question with ease by saying, no, these flimsy “crushes” i have on like two or three boys when i was a child/teen were result of compulsory heterosexuality, boom, that’s it. simple! not to mention, i know that lesbians can experience attraction to men in the past and even had past relationship with men and still be lesbians, sometimes sexuality isn’t solid as a brick, and none of that should have mattered!

so yeah, lesbianism is the answer i LIKE, yet part of me is not satisfied with this answer! of course! why not! since when am i ever satisfied with anything EVER? over time, i started to want a “man’s body” when i see a cis dude with bare chest in picture, and it seems like i started to identify more and more with...masculinity and manhood...in general? even fictional men? at times? i dont fucking know! its a huge mess! and confusing! and my memories are all blurry and false and twisted by my current perception. sure i think i always kind of aspire to “androgynous looks”, but i like being a lesbian! At first, i was like, maybe im a non binary lesbian cause oh baby i know im not bisexual-- i dont want to be with men, but i want to be with women and that’s a certainty. And i know i had one real crush in life--sure it brought me nothing but misery but i know i had one true crush and it was a girl, a friend, from my high school-- whereas my possible feelings abt real boys or fictional men are very flimsy in comparison. still, part of me started to think that perhaps i can only process these feelings i might have for other men/boys in the past if i can...idk see myself as another man? i dont fucking know! Literally, it’s the most unproductive thing to think about! More importantly, i did not fall in love with any real man nor do i want to fall in love with any man! but i still kept questioning myself about this, cause i kept having these strong feelings abt, FICTIONAL MALE CHARACTERS. And idk, part of me was like, “maybe you’d be comfortable with your attraction to men if you...are a man?”, and yeah i actually engage with this line of fucking thinking. its so fucking embarrassing that MEN THAT ARE NOT REAL can have such ridiculous heavy impact on me, it’s fucking ridiculous and i hate it!!! Every time i started to get invested in some stupid story that doesn’t matter cause it’s a fucking fictional story, there is like, this ONE MAN, one fucking bitch, that i felt very strongly about and it didn’t feel entirely platonic. i knew i was not straight since a teen and it took me FOREVER to even seriously consider that im a lesbian even though i dread the thought of being with men for the longest time, precisely because i keep having these weird strong feelings about fictional men every once a while!!!!

makes no mistake i explored more rational options. during this time i made a rant abt it on here--i didnt want to! i tried not to make personal posts cause i dont want to bother strangers! but idk i guess my attention seeking whore ass just have to put my personal feelings out there eventually or i will die? anyways, a very nice mutual talked to me abt it, he was a trans man and as it turns out we shared a lot of similar experiences in regards to gender, and you’d think--hey maybe that helped? but no it fucking didn’t. it was nobody’s fault but it didn’t help, cause i clung on my womanhood for no apparent productive reason. i was still confused and, well, like a normal person i was like, let’s have human interaction! let’s actually explore my attraction to women! you don’t want to be with men so forget about them! forget what you might feel abt them! explore what you KNOW! explore certainty! so i did and ofc it ended up in shit, cause a girl who has a girlfriend (it was a closed relationship btw) asked me if i wanted to “hang out” on a dating app for wlws called HER and i genuinely thought it was a date? didnt know she has a girlfriend until AFTER we met. i wasn’t actually even surprised that she didn’t actually want to date me, because im ugly! im not attractive! im not even attracted to myself lol! plus she was very nice and cool and i was just happy that i made a friend with a fellow lesbian. but after that, i lost motivation to use that dating app, because one minor set-up and failure is all it takes for me to give up, its always like that with me. because im weak and pathetic, its always been like this.

yeah at one point i basically said im non binary on my bio, but i rather tell ppl im a lesbian and be done with it since im not entirely sure abt being non binary. Also, I know that non gender-conforming lesbians are everywhere, cis lesbians who are uncomfortable with gender identity exist! butches exist! they are here and they deal with it and they find community. but i don’t identify with...being butch? it was very nice to see gender non conforming, tom-boyish or butchy women out there, they gave me hope, they are my heroes but i just dont feel like...they are me? i dont feel like feminine women either, im attracted to feminine women but i dont identify with their look and their femininity. like i said, this is a huge fucking mess.

And now i have finally fucking done it, huh, dorian fucking p*vus, a gay male character. The clownery of it all! how the fuck, do i explain to ANYONE that i, a lesbian, have feeling that isn’t entirely platonic about a fictional gay man? yeah thats right thats why i romance him! i lied! ok! i fucking lied, it was cause i want to fuck him! ok! yeah, i know, ridiculous. i feel like im disrespecting him, that im , idk, fetishizing him, but i am not! i can’t be! i love him so much it hurts? it shouldnt be like that. i really shouldn’t. i cant make sense of this, its driving me nuts. still, this whole ordeal eventually got me thinking abt my gender, yet again, and it pushed me over the edge and i even told my dad that i want to transition this summer, that i am a man because i thought maybe i’d be much happier and less repressed if i can just accept that i like men-- if i can explore this possibility. i know i will NEVER accept liking man as a woman, and i know i already kinda have some sort of identification with manhood and masculinity, so why not! i was coming up with solutions! but i didnt even fall in love with a real man, and i was considering this serious level of transition in my life that requires time, money, and the process concerns health risk??? for what??? i was looking up all these info about transition, for WHAT? i gotta be out of my fucking mind! the most ridiculous thing is that while i always like a number of female characters, i would never feel as strongly about any of them in particular as i would, for that one fucking man. Even merrill, like, i love her and i genuinely feel like i want to be with a girl like her int he future but i dont feel as strongly about her as i would for dorian, for some, fucking, reason.

i headcanon the lavellan i used to romance dorian as a trans man, cause i was thinking, perhaps this would put things into perspective. and yeah, i wanna fuck dorian, but also i want to envision what my future CAN be using my lavellan as a proxy. things were simpler with my lavellan. he was handsome and had no body image issue, he was fit, transition was easy for him cause magic and he virtually spent no money on it, he was passing, his family and community fully supported him, he had a lovely girlfriend before he knew he was trans. sure, he has problems and issues to deal with but none are the ones i gotta deal with. he is not me, but he has what i wanted and what i wish i had: beauty, confidence, a girlfriend, easy FTM transition, and he is a man so he’s legally allowed to fuck dorian. but i did not transition, and im still a cis woman with long hair, and ppl looks at me and they probably still thinks im straight, im not straight but i AM a ugly cis woman and i dont think transition’d help cause i might just become a even uglier man lol. And if i dont become a beautiful, stunning man, then i dont want to become a man at all cause if things dont turn out perfectly for me, i dont want to do them and its always like that for me and its why im a fucking failure on everything right now. so many trans people are not passing, but they deal with it, not me tho! i can’t, cause im a pathetic baby!!! i cant deal with any minor inconvenience in my fucking life i guess!!!! And i cant help but to feel weird about having a trans man as one of my ocs. maybe i should make him cis instead? im so exhausted, i cant help but to feel that my trans mutuals want to just pull the trigger on me and unfollow me cause you all are silently judging me for having a trans oc when im still technically, cis. well judge me in my fucking face you fucking cowardly fucks! Am i cis? well idk, probably, maybe im just a hysterical crazy bitch of a cisgender^tm woman who is constantly uncomfortable with her gender, maybe thats all there is. who knows, all i know is that im burnt out, that i don’t know anything anymore and it was all a huge fucking mess that things dont matter. this is causing me nothing but pain and confusion and i dont want to be wrong myself. ftm transition is not, “oh geez lets just explore a option” kind of deal, its kinda fucking serious and its stressing me out. i dont know what i want, who i am, anything and i can’t afford to be wrong so i dont know!!!!! i just dont know!!!!!!!! i talked abt with a therapist actually but all therapist do is to LIE lie AND LIE and tell me things i already know, “you need to be careful with about transitioning! it’s a big decision” who pays you to say this garbage to me? “you are capable and beautiful and you can do this! believe in yourself!” as if ppl saying this shit is enough???? as if i still need to go see a fucking therapist if i am magically ok after i talk to somebody and they tell me lies that sound validating????i know they dont believe in what they said anyways. “you are ok! you are fine, you have no problem” BITCH I WISH I AM OK, BUT AM I OK? IM FUCKING NOT AND YOU ARE $60 RICHER THAN AN YOU ARE AN HOUR AGO! FUK YOU! LIES LIES LIES!!!!! men lie too, i put on some bad eyeliner and some random creepy dude came and told me im beautiful! beautiful my ass! im fucking ugly and i know it, you really think im fucking stupid you fuck? am i just being a special snowflake? are the things that i know for certainty actually certainty??? nothing about me feels real anymore, and maybe im just being dramatic but my self perception is non existent and i feel like im just lying to myself even though i thought i was being truthful and ppl keep telling me lies and nothing helps. im living on lies and it is festering

#yolanda talks #stories are much simpler. stories make sense and nothing complicates the narrative. but shits happen in life and things dont make sense #and you have to deal with it??? all the shit about yourself that makes sense? all that shit makes for shitty stories?#lmao............

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scumfuckus · 6 years

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tagged by @smithsgf !!! thank u 💕

rule: tag 10 ppl you want to get to know better

name: ellie

gender: 😂👌💯

star sign: cancer 🦀 the cosmic 69 ♋ heheheheh

height: like 5'3" maybe. im short

sexuality: girls r cool

what image do you have as wallpaper: the default cos im a lazy fuk

where do you see yourself in 10 years: whoa nelly i cant think that far ahead. in the next 5years i might be doing a masters or something, who knows. all ik id that i would like to be happy and having a good time 😊🌸

if you could be anywhere else right now, where?: im pretty content right here in bed if im bein honest with u. but in the grand scheme of things id really like to see like...all the mojave. death valley, grand canyon, all that kitschy area 51 themed tourist stuff. and id just love to see the landscape i honestly feel at home when i look at photos of the desert. unfortunately im a nightmare at any temperature above like 25 celsius so uh

what was your coolest halloween costume?: i've never done anything for halloween with costumes ): my parents never took me trick or treating when i was little bc they didnt realise it was like a *thing*

what's your favourite 90s show?: ive just started watching Friends for the first time on netflix, and thats all that comes to mind rn so. that. p.s. i fucking hate ross i cant wait for him to die of influenza

who was your last kiss?: ex gf

have you ever been stood up?: no

have you ever been to las vegas?: no but i would LOVE to

favourite pair of shoes: these real chunky black workman's boots. they're like timbs but less fashion. n they got steel toe caps and theyre just very reinforced which is awesome bc i usually go through shoes within months

favourite fruit: cant beat an apple, fucking classic. love me some watermelon too tho its a great hangover cure

favourite book: the long walk by stephen king, written under the pseudonym richard bachman. its one of his short stories so it literally never gets arduous. its a really interesting concept too - dystopian hunger games/battle royale type thing but less killy more...walky. and way before either of those. idk its just a very good story and youll get emotional about it if u read it

stupidest thing you've ever done: oh god...so many things. barely any come to mind rn though. i guess one i dont think ive mentioned before is the time i tried to smoke a cigar like a regular cigarette for no other reason than to test my capabilities and after a couple of minutes i fully felt like i was going to die. u have no idea. dont do that to urself. idk most stupid shit i do that isnt like ~*entirely*~ impulsive is because ive decided i want to "test my capabilities"

mannn idk who's already done this so maybe

@snakeriverconspiracy @dronemetal @syntheticperson @yeahbykyuss @cannibal-cookbook @freshavcadoo @nyarlathotwink @opiate-priest n anyone else who wants to do it bc my mind has gone like entirely blank and i am genuinely interested in ppls answers to some of these

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plasticgguk-blog · 6 years

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bts sexuality thoughts

important ! these are just my opinions and i do not intend to out any member of bts nor assume they are straight. this is my thoughts and what i have picked up. as a bisexual girl myself, i also do not intend to stereotype or prejudge a whole sexuality group whether it is bisexual, gay, lesbian, straight or anything else. thank you.

seokjin

i think jin is straight. despite the kissing of the androgynous statue in the blood sweat and tears mv (5.22 minutes in) and in the 2016 MAMA performance, along with taehyung, and his cute and occasional flamboyant behaviour, i think he is quite traditional. as oldest brother, i find his cuddly touches and tendency to have skinship with his members, just friendly and supportive and perhaps glues a stronger bond between them. i feel he is very supportive towards the lgbt+ community as he is also known to love fan boys and include them as equally as fan girls. i feel if a member were to come out to him he wouldn't mind, maybe even joke about it but to conclude this analysis, i think jin is straight, and one of his dreams is to settle down one day.

yoongi (suga)

oooh boy. min yoongi. where do we start? strap in guys, this is going to be a long one. well, i think it is pretty safe to say that yoongi is either one of three: bisexual, asexual or genuinely doesnt care about gender at all. from the lyrics, famously known from cypher pt. 3 : "As you know, my voice will turn you on, whether it’s a guy or girl, my tongue will make you come." or the interview where yoongi claims "I focus on personality and atmosphere. I don’t have an ideal type and it’s not limited to a girl." however, in the recent 2018 season greetings, the members were giving future prediction cards and each read others and revealed their name. in yoongis card it quoted "you will have a stable family with a safe and stable life" (in korea, that is considered straight couple marriage with kids) and even yoongi couldnt believe that (he kept glancing at his card afterwards). yoongi is generally not the one for skinship (a couple of years ago he was) but he does have his adorable moments. he is quite blunt and I would feel like he would come out calmly, but it is hard to come out in the rapping world, nevermind korean society. he is very attached to hoseok. this might be a connection or a friendship built on understanding eachother as hoseok is quite often brought up in question of his sexuality. i dont think yoongi will come out soon but i very much believe he is bisexual and quite open to anything.

hoseok (jhope)

well.. hoseok is actually confusing. i dont believe he is gay, nor do i believe he is straight. he is perhaps bisexual. he does act flamboyant and camp but that isnt what adds up to ones sexuality. recently, in the love yourself her comeback, hoseok has been a personification of an actual rainbow, from the rainbow clothing and from the optimistic attitude which some speculate his sexuality. hoseok loves to to reinact girl group dances, cuddle his members and occasionally tease them, for example dance upon them. i think he has gotten more comfortable with his flamboyancy and is generally happy and content the way he acts. i dont think hoseok will officially come out, but will come out through having a boyfriend or doing something with a male.

namjoon (rm)

if you asked me 3 years ago if namjoon was gay, i wouldve laughed because, who hasn't heard of 'expensive girl'? however, namjoon has been subtly dropping hints throughout the years and very much more specifically during this comeback, that he may be bisexual or even gay. throughout the years he shown support and love to the lgbt+ community. tweeting support and love for the song 'same love' by macklemore in 2013, claiming that he loved the song before he knew the meaning, and now he knew the meaning of it (homosexuality) he loves it twice as much. it is known that namjoon also contributed to writing lyrics for kpop girl group : glam' s song 'party xxo'. for those who don't know this song, it is all about same sex love between two women with lyrics like "Can I kiss ya baby girl?". more recently, namjoon has been more open, for example, in blood sweat and tears mv he quoted from a book called 'damien' "he too is a tempter" (the full bst era was very gender neutral). namjoon also stated in interviews explaining the meaning behind 'love yourself her' that it isn't just about love between a man and a woman. he also stated in a different interview that "we dont have girlfriends or boyfriends". he also isnt shy to complimenting the members profoundly (especially jimin). namjoon is very adamant about including gender neutral pronouns and equality. people say he is too supportive to be an ally, thus for questioning if he is gay or bisexual. i think he is bisexual, and much like yoongi, doesn't care. i dont expect a coming out soon but if he did in the next few days, i wouldn't be surprised.

jimin

jimin is hard to speculate. i believe he is straight, although there are possibilities of being bisexual. he is known to be very kind to his members and sharing skinship, especially between him, jungkook and taehyung which can be questioned sometimes. jimin is very cute, and easily likeable yet influenced. he constantly loves to be praised and looks up to those who impress him and gush over them (usually males) for example, in the L O V E photoshoot video (bangtan bomb) he was stating fellow member namjoon was always sexy, cool and was impressed and in bon voyage season 2 he was gushing over the pilot and is like bangtans baby. however, jimin is very sexy too, and has bdsm symbols associated with him like blindfold's (bst era) and those buckled things that stretch around your chest and thus gives an submissive vibe. jimin can also be shipped with anyone in bts because he is so lovely yet flirty. im sure in saying that he has probably made at least every straight male or gay female question their sexuality at least once, and jimin for sure knows he has that affect on people. this means i believe he may be bisexual or straight, but with a preference to girls.

taehyung (v)

i think taehyung is straight. he can be questioned of his sexuality with his support and love for gay artists and their music, but he can be seen as an ally. he, jungkook and jimin are very comfortable with eachother and i believe that that is just friendliness and love for his brothers. however, taehyung is seen to have a gucci phonecase with a rainbow flag emitting from a spaceship (jeffree star, a openly gay makeup influencer also owns) and the boy loves his fashion and style, however this can just be put down as a passion for fashion. in the early, debut days, taehyung was shy yet very bubbly and loved his hyungs and jungkook, and acting flamboyant too, however recently he is more mature. this makes it hard to read his sexuality so my guess is that he is straight BUT there can be an opportunity that he is gay or bisexual.

jungkook

my guesses is that jungkook is straight. although he has a passionate love for troye sivan (openly gay music artist whose music is mainly about same sex couples) i think despite that, he hasn't really done anything more to further question his sexuality. i think his shyness with girls is all got to do with pre-debut and debut jungkook, as he was so young and so new to his music career he didn't really have time to explore his sexuality. as for every member, there are possibilities of being gay or bisexual, and just because you don't show signs or throw it others faces, doesn't mean you are less of those who are openly gay or straight or bisexual. a reminder that unfortunately in korean society, being gay is looked down upon and can face horrible consequences (being shun from fans, companies, advertisers, friends, family) so in no way should they feel pressured to come out to fans or expose their personal life because they are humans first, celebrites later.

#bts gay #bts lgbt #namjoon #jin #jungkook #v #taehyung #jhope #hoseok #sope #suga #yoongi #bts #bangtan #bangtan boys #bts sexuality #namjin #vkook #jikook #vmin #loveyourself

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sawtual · 6 years

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so you’re a gay man and use faggot to describe yourself but then you also identify as lesbian and you had top surgery and im like make up your fucking mind?

*followup from previous question abt your identity. and even if you’re a gay man then why are you dating chloe???doesnt that like…go against it all lmfao

hm ok. so i really considered ignoring you cuz ur annoying as fuck! but honestly it creeps me out youve followed around for over a year and a half, the amount of time ive fluctuated and changed in my gender and sexuality identity.

as any young lgbt person, i struggle to learn what i identify as. ive really changed over the years, and so has my gender and sexuality. i find its helpful for me and other young lgbt members to experiment with labels. for a while a couple years back, i identified as a gay man! i felt very binary, and was comfortable with he/him pronouns, as they made me feel more aligned with my gender. i even deeply considered going on testosterone. chloe, my significant other, also identified masculine. we were both male aligned people and loved each other.

at this point i didnt care to look further into my identity. i was happy being a gay man and loving chlo! i dont ever plan on splitting up with them so me feeling my attraction to them is what mattered.

this was for a few months? i was very content with myself but my identity shifted and as i did reflection within myself, i didnt feel like gay man was the right identity label for myself anymore. i looked into the possibility of identifying as a nb lesbian. this is the funny part cuz i literally had this up on my blog for maybe 2 hours at MOST. it didnt fit and i took it down. you must have been following me at that point or had very good timing checking my blog! :/

at this point im calling myself a genderless gay person. thats my identity and while it doesnt feel completely accurate im settled with that for now, and dont want to talk about it with others until i feel more comfortable. its my personal business and no one elses.

as for the top surgery and chloe??? the fuck is your problem buddy! why does chloe have anything to do with wel…. anything! theyre my significant other, why would they “go against it all” like you say. its almost funny how much you think you matter or your opinion of me matters. why would some dumbass who goes on anon to police my identity matter at all! its like.. a little embarrassing youve been following me or creeping on me this long. a year and a half or more? wow… is that fun for you? is it eating away at you that you cant wrap your head around someones identity changing and evolving as they do as a person? this isnt meant to be petty its just genuinely pathetic you seem to care so much. like do you need help? am i that interesting as a person you cant stop thinking about me and my identity? does me having top surgery, and being happy in a stable relationship just eat away at you, and the fact that you just cant figure out how my identity can be fluid?? does it hurt? im sorry buddy. id gladly tell you my life fucking story and you can understand how i got to where i am but honestly.. who gives a fuck. i shouldnt matter so much to you. its cool you think about me so much but please get a life.

#also suggesting lesbians cant have top surgery like buddy haha... r u ok #nb lesbians exist #fluid identity exists #get a life #Anonymous #anon #asks #f slur

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tumblunni · 7 years

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GODDAMMIT I CANT PICK A MARRIAGE

Rune Factory 4 why do you persist in having TOO MANY GOOD CHARACTERS I’ve narrowed it down to two but now i keep changing my damn mind again! I’ve decided I’m gonna see the marriages for the three characters I liked on different save files, but who should I marry first and go with for real on this save file?? i’ve run out of patience for waiting to pick a batchelor as the VERY LAST THING i do before I turn off the game, I need to do it now! I need to do it before I start this final bonus dungeon thing to rescue [spoilery dead character] from the afterlife. I WANT TO SHOW THEM MY CHILD WHEN THEY RETURN. And this game is SO LONG and cos of how semi random the skill levelling is, I dont think I’d have the patience to complete the same 20 so hours three times to complete all the savefiles, and it’d be really frustrating if I couldnt max out all the same skills on them :P SO YEAH GAHHH Need to FINALLY DECIDE between leon and dylas!

PROS N CONZ

Dylas:

* Has the most romantic chemistry in my opinion, and also my favourite main character after Arthur. (Tho I ended up not really feeling that ship so even tho hhe’s my fave batchelor he’s not the one I wanted to marry??) * is really fucking awkward adorable which is MY FAVE kind of ship! * also his romance route is primarily about cheesy romance rather than like.. lots of lusty flirty sexual attraction type stuff that I’m not really capable of understanding. * HAs a load of great character development and seems like he’d be the most happy to be with you. * is the coolest of the monster people, even if im still salty he doesnt look more like his monster form. They coulda just given him a unicorn horn and it would have brought the whole design together! * Marrying him would make me feel less salty sad that there’s no way to get him and doug to hook up when they are CLEARLY CANONICALLY BISEXUAL GEEZ * A minor con is that this would mean I have to play the rest of the game with the postgame cheat mode gay marriage thing switched on. Which could get a bit annoying since its just a character model swap and its a bit glitchy sometimes, but I like both genders of protagonist equally much anyway. i just feel slightly guilty thinking im somehow being disloyal to the one I picked at the beginning, but then again i literally only picked the girl because you cant romance dylas unless you’re the girl and GAHHH I was so happy to know you could cheat and have cheat mode gay marriage so IMMA GONNA DO IT * seriously its an option so i cant NOT take it * make up for lack of doug x dylas route by doing dylas x male protag * also dylas was the one I wanted to pick since before i knew anything about the game, he was my fave based on design alone and then his personality in his first scene was amazing and aaaa * also dylas’s romance route is REALLY TERRIBLE which is maybe a pro and maybe a con?? like.. i wanna marry him cos he had no plot and i wanna make it up to him, but i also DONT wanna marry him cos his route wasnt my favourite plot and aaaa why does my brain not make sense * also a pro: PORCOLINE * i get to officially marry into the restaurant fam! * i have literally got porcoline in my party right now while im holding the engagement ring, he needs to be there to see me pop the question! i just love this dad so much, i have to marry one of his kids * also I can pretend that arthur is still my friend and he isnt mad that i picked his brother over him and we can all be the best family ever

Leon:

* has the best and saddest romance route backstory thing that makes me feel so guilty if I dont marry him * is also my favourite design! like, dylas is the best monster but leon has the best human form design, i have no lil niggling complaints about how he looks like a wolf for no damn reason. * is the only bara character * ended up being surprisingly cute and genuine about his love and i actually really like the archetype of the flirty fake-playboy type guy who isnt the jerky playboy archetype but instead secretly adorable and shy when he falls in love for real! And its even better cos he’s a snarky overconfident trickster guy so its EVEN MORE CUTE when he drops his big facade and lets himself admit his emotions! * BUT admiteddly I still feel rather uncomfortable doing overly flirty innuendoy dating sims because I’m way too asexual to relate. I’ve had a few moments with leon where its just like... killed the moment kinda, and made me feel bad that im not the intended audience. This game makes me care about the characters so i feel just as awkward as when I’ve accidentally ‘led people on’ in real life in high school and had to super anxiously let them down. I just feel awkward even though I know that the character in-universe that I’m playing at probably isnt asexual, im still like ‘noooo i dont wanna trick him into a sexless marriage he wouldnt be happy aaaa’ * but also aaa he has the most chemistry with the female main character I think, he’s like the only one I think looks like a cuter couple with her, while I wanna ship dylas with the male mc. i just really liked a fanart I saw of them described as ‘fox and bunny’! thats totally it, her hairstyle just matches so well with an animal ears dude, and their colours have a good appeal together and stuff~ * Also i have more headcanons about what it would be like when they had kids and stuff! so thats a big appeal because getting to see the kid characters is the big reason i wanna marry a charrie * ALSO, its kinda... uhh... to put it lightly... well, Leon is literally the only dark skinned man in the entire world. SERIOUSLY. Rune Factory rarely ever has more than one character of a different race, and I just feel like if you’re gonna be so limited in your options I wanna pick that option like... maybe if they see they’re the popular ones then they’ll realise theyre making a dumb decision and add more racial diversity in future games?? or at least npcs?? seriously??? He’s not just the only dark skinned batchelor but THE ONLY CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. At least rune factory oceans had the whole dark elf race. (Tho that was weird that there’s apparantly no black humans in this world...)

GAHHH I DUNNO I JUST WANNA MAKE THESE DUMB BOYS HAPPY I wish i could have like a best friend option to select or something can I give a consolation prize... IM SORRY LEON OR DYLAS and IM SORRY ARTHUR and IM SORRY PORCOLINE IF I DONT MARRY YOUR SON

#why am i so bad at decisions #this game is designed to hit my anxieties #bunni plays rf4

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