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silky-slinky · 2 years

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PEACHES AND CREAM !

FIVE HARGREEVES X FEM!READER PAIRING !

WC: 1.8K

FIVE HARGREEVES MASTERLIST !

A scoff left your lips after scanning the words the file displayed, the Handler had a slight smile on hers. Five's name in full bold letters, as if to tease you. The Handler knew that you despised Five, and Five couldn't stand you.

“I'm not doing it.” Your hands made their way inside the pockets of your trousers. The Handler could drag you through filth and mud but you weren't going out of your way to pair up with the boy you've tried your best to compete with, but failing miserably. For some reason, even with your great efforts, you've never topped Five when it came to skills.

The Handler simply gave you a smirk, a knowing smirk. “He already agreed.” She watched as the surprised expression adorned your face in a heartbeat. Who would've thought that the Number Five would agree to partner up with someone? Let alone agreeing to be your partner.

Five worked alone, he never needed someone to accompany him. All his life, isolation was all he knew. Even back then in the academy, he liked to do everything alone. He could count all the times he spent time with his siblings in his fingers.

“Well, I don't.” There was no use in being stubborn. You already knew that one way or another you'd be on the mission with Five. You've never had it your way the moment you stepped into the building.

“Am I that bad of a partner?” Five called out, leaning on the doorframe of the Handler's office. Normally, she would've scolded him for barging into her office, but this time, she let it slide because she wanted to see how this one would play out.

He stepped closer toward you, he watched you with careful eyes as you stepped back, afraid that he would get too close. The hatred you had for the boy grew as his kills increased. You watched his hand inching toward the file, his eyes looking for the words that caught his attention earlier while he read the file.

“Number Five and Y/n L/n are needed to be lovers-” he starts, teasing you even further. But before he could finish the sentence, he was cut off by the Handler's sultry voice.

“C'mon now, move along!” She ushered for you and Five to leave, seeing that she had more important things to do than to watch the two assassins argue.

The mission needed two lovers. Unluckily for both of you, the only couple that worked in the Temps Commission was currently on vacation. They were the first ones in line for the mission, but you were left with no choice and you needed to cooperate.

“There's no need to be stubborn, Y/n.” Your legs move forward quickly, trying to get rid of the man babbling beside you. He despised you, that's for sure, but he loved teasing you in a way that you'd get annoyed at him.

He viewed you as a distraction from his cruel reality. He never liked the killing, the blood splattering on his face, the sound of the bullet leaving the gun and in between the eyebrows of the victim. He was forced into this field, he only ever agreed because he wanted his family back.

You, on the other hand, loved the thrill. You loved the adrenaline coursing in your veins as you chase after your target, knowing that you couldn't get enough of the feeling. You loved the smell of the crimson blood as it dripped from the wound you made on the targets. It was exhilarating.

Some would say that it was the root of your success. The root of why you were one of the top assassins on the field. It would be egotistical for some, but with your life, there really wasn't much to brag about.

A sigh left your lips, sinking into defeat. “What exactly are we going to do?”

You marveled at the venue in front of you. The walls are decorated with intricate details, the tiled floor polished until light reflected on it, tables filled with food and alcoholic drinks alike, and finally, rich people laughing and chit-chatting amongst themselves. It was a sight to remember, despite the assignment both of you were destined to do.

Five reacted on his own, quietly observing the place, getting himself an alcoholic drink from the waiter's silver tray. Much to your dismay, Five quickly put a hand on the small of your back. It snapped you out of your thoughts, reminding you that you had a person you committed to.

“Where is he?” You asked, Five still beside you as both of your bodies slithered through the wave of people that we're powerful enough to solve any problem in the world.

Five took a sip of his drink, grimacing at the bitter taste before placing it on another waiter's silver tray, placing his attention back to looking for the host.

“Open your eyes better.” He says with a click of his tongue, a venomous tone to his words. He spoke as if he already found the guy, but in fact, couldn't spot where he was, his eyes scanning the place.

You paid no mind to his attitude, you were used to it anyway. From the corner of your eye, a good-looking man sat on one of the bar stools, sipping his drink while a few men and women tried to get his attention. Your mind automatically recognized the person, the very target.

Without a word spoken, you left Five's grasp, confusing him entirely before following your gaze. He spotted the man that needed to be eliminated. The Commission never told their employees the exact reason as to why a person is needed to be killed off, lies on top of lies, stacking until it eventually falls.

Leo, the target, placed all his attention on you as you tried your best to earn his trust, and of course, to kill him later on.

“What are you thinking about?” Charm was one of your specialties. In the field, you were known to somewhat entertain them before killing them off.

Your head tilted to the bartender, gesturing for him to give you anything. For a moment, you forgot about the mission, forgot about Five who only stood within a 6-ft radius.

He watched as you conversed with the attractive man. He was furious. Whether it was the fact that you forgot about the mission or that you were laughing slightly too hard at Leo's jokes. Seemingly as he had enough, he walked toward you, wrapping an arm around your waist, kissing you on the cheek to remind you that in the meantime, you were his.

“Darling, I've been looking for you all over the place.” It was then that you were snapped back to the reality that you had a mission to accomplish. With his actions, you topped it off with a kiss on his lips.

A smile made its way on your face as you could see the faint blush that formed on Five's cheeks. “Ah, I was just having a fun time with Leo here.” Your hand gestured to the boy in front of you.

He only sheepishly smiled in response, intimidated by Five's hard gaze. He awkwardly laughed, setting his half-empty drink down on the marble countertop.

“Well, have fun! Both of you.” He announces as a good host, before disappearing into the crowd.

You rolled your eyes in annoyance. “You blew it.”

“What?” He sits down on the stool in front of you. “You're the one who got sidetracked here. Not me.”

“He was about to show me around!” You reply in defense. “I was going to kill the man one way or another.” Right before Five approached you, Leo wanted to show you around the venue, and introduce you to his fellow rich people.

Five abruptly stood up, scanning the crowded place. “I'll beat you to it.”

The next hours passed by, consisting of competing with Five to see who gets the fish. It was a lengthy process. There were many times that you bumped into each other, and the glint of competitiveness never faded away from his eyes. By the time most people had gone home to their lavish homes, it was then that you got privacy with Leo.

Your heels clicked on the tiled floor, and your eyes furiously scanned the almost empty place. You weren't about to lose to Five. Just as you took a turn, you saw the familiar brown hair that belonged to the man that made you laugh harder than ever earlier.

“Hi.” You nervously spoke. You watched as he turned around to see who made the noise. He showed you a grin, revealing his pearly whites. “Hi.” He replied. He wasn't sure why, but he was captivated by you. Even if he knew that you had a ‘partner’ of your own.

“Good. You have him.” You rolled your eyes yet again at the noise coming from Five's mouth who was now beside you, ready to take the credits after everything is said and done. Your dominant hand fetching the freshly honed knife strapped on the side of your thigh. You figured that a knife would be better than a heavy and loud gun.

At the glint of the silver knife, Leo immediately was confused and scared. You pitied him, but it was still your job. Such a shame he would mess up the timeline one way or another.

“What is this?” He asked, particularly to you as he wasn't fond of Five.

“Y/n, kill him already.”

A few grunts left your lips as you made your way to the room the Handler gave you, your luggage is too heavy as you overestimated the days of how long this mission would take, with Five beside you, twirling the keys in his finger.

Fortunately, after the whole situation with Leo, Five warmed up to you and you warmed up to him. Granted, there were still competition and tension in the air, but there was progress. He no longer went alone on missions, he would sometimes beg the Handler to pair you up with him.

Five watched you struggle with the luggage. “Here.” He gave you the keys and grabbed the heaviest bag from your hands.

“Thanks.” Giving him a grateful smile.

A few moments passed, and finally in front of the room. It was by no means a five-star hotel, it was just a cheap hotel that the Commission gave to their employees while they get the most luxurious ones anyone had seen.

You wandered around, it was small, enough to fit 1 to 2 people. As you wandered, Five had set down yours and his belongings, then went back to you to discuss what would be the plan for this mission.

“Oh, fuck the Handler.”

“What? Why?”

“There's only one bed.”

FIVE HARGREEVES TAGLIST !

@isventigayoreuropean @halfumbrella @iiirhiane-g @crinklypink @its-loki-bitch @cff3kat @umbrellatte @yuuki4646 @dontspoilthis @fivelegance

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#tua #the umbrella academy #hargreeves #x reader #five hargreeves #five #five hargreeves x reader #five tua #five hargreeves x y/n #five hargreeves x you #number five #five hargreeves x fem!reader #five x reader #god this is so bad #i hate this so much #i want to cry

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banannabethchase · 2 years

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I'm back again, and somehow this book got even stupider.

The main character knows that she left her phone recording after her presentation. She knows it recorded for hours after said presentation. Which means she should realize that her phone also recorded her future boss sexually harassing and mocking her directly after her presentation.

It takes her like 2 HOURS WORTH OF AUDIOBOOK before she realizes the event was recorded, which is even worse because she only finds it out by accident and then still tries to ignore it. She still won't say anything because apparently communication is illegal in a romance novel, and her theory is that even though there's a literal recording, nobody will believe her, and the guy that is also clearly in love with her based on her own narration and his wittle fee-fees matters more than her own safety. Meaningless, senseless, poorly written nonsense.

This book falls into all the embarrassing tropes about romance novels and has nothing unique or positive or new to make it better. All the problems surround a lack of meaningful communication and a character who is supposed to be brilliant acting like an absolute fool the whole time.

Also, you can't have a character be so unbearably obtuse and not genre savvy, and then make jokes in the last act of the book about how the main character is so romcom or that her story is so dumb it's like a young adult novel that wouldn't even sell well. You can't try to entertain genre savvy trope jokes at the same time as presenting a character as painfully not genre savvy without it sounding completely unbelievable. I keep having to pause the audiobook because moments that happen are so stupid and unreasonable that I have to yell about it. This book had potential and it was all wasted.

Whoever recommended this book for me, and it might be my fault because I do love a good fake dating trope, you suck. This is one of the worst narratives I've ever had the encounter of listening to, and I'm an elementary school teacher. I would rather read my kids versions of fairy tales a hundred times then read this again. But again sunk cost fallacy. I'm going to finish it out of spite.

#in which sara reads #god this is SO BAD #and discovering its actually r*ylo fic makes me even more annoyed

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