#good times which i’m glad are over

[hiddenworldofmary]

old bottle of miss dior became a big sis 🎀🤍

#the difference is insane #beginning of 2020? i think vs end of 2023 #i think it evaporated and concentrated??? #its not only darker but also smells stronger #what’s bad is i like the concentrated smell better #but the new one has some nostalgia in it #my blog had so much more pink and sweet on it back then #good times which i’m glad are over #although at heart i’m still like this -> 🤍🎀☕️💗🔪✨🖤 #miss dior #dior #perfume #perfume bottle #my babies #mine #my photo

[bisexualseraphim]

Taylor Swift awkwardly dragging a clearly uncomfortable Lana Del Rey onto the stage to go on about how “she should’ve won not me!” and then proceed to plug her new album was certainly a decision that was made.

#Like I’m sure she had good intentions because Lana has 0 Grammys still and deserves one already #But omfg if I was Lana I would’ve pushed her down the stairs #Putting her on the spot like that when she won over her #Midnights wasn’t bad but I do think others should’ve won instead #She has enough Grammys show some love for Lana or SZA or Boygenius #I wasn’t that big a fan of Ocean Blvd but it’s her time #The Record was out of this world #And SZA… come on. Legend #I know I’m a clown for expecting anything of the Scammys but it’s actually ridiculous #They just go for what’s most popular which isn’t always what’s good #Glad Boygenius won 3 though #Even if 2 were for one song (Cool About It should’ve won but I shan’t be fussy) #Anyway no shade to Taylor personally but I’m bored of everyone worshipping the ground she walks upon #Give others a chance I beg #grammys #grammy awards #grammys 2024 #grammy awards 2024 #taylor swift #lana del rey #boygenius #sza

[thebestusernamepossible]

Listen, I love the LGBTQ+ community as much as any other queer person. But we have got to stop ostracizing people in our community to fit in with cishetallo people.

Some of y’all really do go ‘these are the acceptable boxes for queer people and their definitions, anyone outside of these is actually not queer and making us look bad’ and act like that’s ok. Now that being queer is generally acceptable in online/progressive areas (as long as you are one of the ‘well known’ orientations), a big part of the community has started regulating what’s ‘acceptable’ of a queer person and how we should fit into society.

I’ll see people hating on trans people who don’t fit into the ‘normal’ expectation of ‘Trans girl, Trans boy, or Non-binary’ or use Neo pronouns because that’s how they feel the most comfortable. I’ll see people hating on queer people who don’t like labels ( or try to assign people one even if they don’t want it). Or people who use a label in a way they don’t like (bi people who mostly date the opposite sex, lesbians who use pronouns other than just she/her, gender non-conforming people who don’t identify as trans, obscure micro-labels, etc.)

And it’s so frustrating because we as LGBTQ+ are supposed to be better!!! We are supposed to empathize with the feeling of not fitting in with regular society and help others like us! But the community has become part of the oppressive ‘societal standard’ for some people.

Some people just can’t be put into a perfect little label box and a lot of y’all aren’t cool about that. And I can’t believe I have to tell my fellow queers this, but there is nothing wrong with denying societal standards in order to live in the way that is genuine to you and makes you happy. End of story. If you disagree with that, look inward at your internal biases and try and fix that. Get rid of the cop in your brain telling you that you have to police others self-expression.

#look man I am just TIRED of having to pick from a bunch of different boxes to feel like I’m REALLY LGBTQ+ #as far as I care I’m queer #and if that label changes as I grow? #good for me #That’s something y’all need to get cool with too #labels changing over time #I just don’t feel like most big labels really fit me and I don’t really want to use micro labels #not a micro-label hate post btw #love y’all and glad you’re happy- it’s just not for me #like you could probably find some obscure aspects label to describe me #but is that anyones business other than maybe my future partner if I get one? #I don’t OWE people an explanation to me and how I experience attraction #I’m also tired of seeing people shoved into being LGBTQ+ just for going beyond gender norms #like y’all will say ‘yeah I’m normal about feminine men’ but won’t believe that a feminine man is cishetallo #which in turn is why a lot of cishetallo men don’t feel comfortable being feminine #I have a lot of feelings about this #but anyway you don’t owe society anything and you shouldn’t have to change how you present yourself to make them happy #unless you are actively harming someone by being yourself then I don’t care and I support you #actively harming in a ‘purposefuly harming someone’ way -not in a ‘you make other queer people look bad by not conforming to the norm’ way #I love the queer community if you can’t tell tho #I just think we can do better #cw queer #I like the label and I use it #but I get why some of y’all might not #gay #LGBT #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #queer

[lesbiansanemi]

I don’t often think I’m upset at not having a good relationship with my parents but sometimes it really fucking hits me that I don’t have a good mom I don’t have a dad I’ll never experience having a good parent and someone I can lean on like that and I get… really upset

#I have this coworker who is about my mom’s age #I love her and she’s a wonderful person and she’s such a good parent to her kids #her autistic queer kids and she fights for them and defends them all the time #she values their interests and does things they love with them and supports their choices and jusy #ugh #today she gave me a hug because ‘it’s really seemed like I wasn’t doing okay’ #and ‘I’ve been dealing with a lot of hard things and big life changes which she knows is really hard’ #and I kinda teared up #my own parents don’t even know about everything that has happened with my roommate or the friends I’ve lost this year #I don’t tell them. and I could but it wouldn’t matter #my mother wouldn’t care. she definitely wouldn’t sympathize or give me a hug over it #she wouldn’t comfort me #my dad my try but he lives thousands of miles away #and I love my dad but I didn’t get to know him until I was 17 #I don’t think he’s really like… a dad you know? #he’s more like some weird friend or MAYBE an uncle than anything #which is fine! I think it’s really the best we can do and like I said I do love him and I know he loves me #but it’s still… different than a parent you know? #and sometimes I just ache knowing I don’t get parents… #I don’t get that relationship that so many ppl have that’s so important to them #and it just doesn’t feel fair and makes me feel really sad #I’m glad I’m as independent as I am but even that doesn’t feel fair #I’ve lived on my own since I was 17…. I never should have had to do that anyways…. #and I just feel sad because I got a hug from my coworker that made me want to sob #because it’s like damn… is this a teeny tiny taste of what having an actual good mom is like? #I missed out on so much…. #kaz rambles

[voiceshearingyouloud]

I was feeling extremely suicidal today, like the worst I have in maybe four or five years now, and I was deliberating over whether I should go to the hospital like pretty much all day and now that I feel better I realise that the moment I started drafting my suicide note in my head was probably when I should’ve decided that 😭

#it’s so hard to think logically in the moment though; and I didn’t want to worry my dad or my partner #even though me killing myself would hurt them more obviously lol #I’m glad I feel better though #finally at like 5pm after doing all the chores and getting dressed and making meals and napping and going outside and exercising and calling #people and watching my favourite things #and none of it made even the slightest difference #(and I was drafting my suicide note) #I was like alright I need to do something about this because I’m gonna get exhausted and lose the fight pretty soon #which is always how my suicidality has been #I’ve never made a plan I’ve just come very very close to being worn down by the constant obsession and just giving in #which is hard to explain to ER nurses! #anyway. as soon as I decided that it instantly was like a cloud went away so that was weird as hell and I still don’t get it but at least I #don’t want to die as much anymore! #I’m seriously good now; like just normal sad and tired #but it does scare me that it took me so long to decide to go to the hospital #cause that was really cutting it close for a while there 😬 #I don’t trust myself to get it right the next time. but hopefully I’ll remember this and just go #anne speaks #now I’m just dying over how hilarious it was that I was literally drafting my suicide note and still was like hmm I wouldn’t want to worry #my partner so I don’t think it’s wise to go to the hospital. #like girl?? what??? #suicidality tw #tw suicidality #suicide mention #suicide tw #tw suicide #all the trigger tags cause this post is pretty graphic lol #but anyway I’m totally safe now #wouldn’t want anyone to worry if you’re the type to worry about this #:-)

[akkivee]

rambling about the tdd manga because i can lol:

the entire thing sure did reinforce how convoluted chuuoku’s schemes are lol all that just to test run and create the drbs bruh 😭😭😭

the line at the end where ichijiku and otome are discussing how much more poignant the battles are because they brought them together and then forced them to fight is all sorts of fcked up y’all 😭😭😭😭😭😭

anyway from the beginning lol the mic otome uses is a different mic from even just the next chapter, i wonder if it’s just an non-finalized design or an early iteration of the mic???? like rio has a prototype mic and this is not that lmao. aaaaah but rio’s might be military grade prototype and otome has the version rei presumably finalised on his own???? a different version altogether???? hmmm 🤔

nemu is 16 in that first chapter and ichiro is 17 which would mean all the territory disputes, fixes, and mozuku’s plot to usurp mcd took place in a week lol hypmic’s timeline is SHAKY

(the official timeline helps this a little actually lol)

(maybe)

kuukou, swinging red flags from the beginning making fun of ichiro’s mom lol, also fcked around making fun of samatoki’s dead father and found tf out lmao

kuukou is an entire menace in the tdd manga i see why i had a hard time telling myself not to like him when he first showed up lmao

that theory kuukou might have some sort of brain damage wound up slightly reinforced when kuukou remembered sasara reused an old joke when he seemed to have forgotten that sasara is not funny by the time they reunited lmao he has a great memory in the tdd manga

(that joke sasara reused was only in samatoki’s presence too so kuukou also broke some sort of dimensional wall lmao)

speaking of sasara!!!!!!

ikeBOOBkuro????? really????? and then he had that dumbshit d🍆ck joke he made in dod the clowns DO NOT have rights!!!!!!!!!!

lol tho every time i read these early chapters with sasara, aramaki-san’s track 3 sasara always comes to mind lol like mcd sasara was intimidating actually that’s exactly why track 3 sasara is like that 😭😭😭😭😭😭

hmmmm are the special forces or whatever that tried to hijack the hospital jakurai worked at the same as rio’s special forces???? i’ll have to keep that in mind reading bbmtc manga lol

I STILL BELIEVE JAKURAIS WAVE TECHNIQUE WAS THE VERY FIRST ITERATION OF THE HYPNOSIS MIC TECH

still a little pissed mcd vs nb was the first drb in structure and symbolism (forced conflict created by a higher ruling power used to gain/reinforce power by said higher power and wound up entertaining the masses) and yet sasara and kuukou were booted out of the narrative like that

there was a moment where i Almost Almost considered that ramuda had started to consider bringing sasara and kuukou into his plans in chapter 11 based on how pissed he looked after ichijiku told him they brainwashed them. it’s more likely that ramuda’s mad another ‘him’ died more than anything but it’s nice to consider lol

the terrorist scene where nemu and the baby yamada bros got kidnapped is still insane btw

iconic samajuto first(?) meeting lol lemme just handcuff myself to this man who is already listening to me said juto lmao

NEMUS NERVES OF STEEL FR AN OLD MAN THREATENS BODILY HARM TO HER BUT LITERALLY NOBODY IS SCARIER TO HER THAN HER FATHER SO SHE NEVER FLINCHED

JIROS FIRST BETRAYAL ITS NO WONDER HE STARTED ADOPTING SOME OF ICHIROS SELF PRESERVATION LESSONS

THE FACT SABURO BLOCKED NEMU OUT FROM HIS MEMORY SO LIKELY THIS ENTIRE KIDNAPPING????? PLS PROTECT THE CHILDREN HE HAS PTSD YALL AT 11

and what was UP with that orphanage director in the first place???? who do you choose: money grubbing, child labour exploiting for hoes orphanage director or murderous, gets off on torture and sells children for their superiority complex orphanage director

like WTF????

(also: that extra bb tdd chapter is fcked up too you know mozuku only told ichiro about that first director wasting funds because he wanted to replace him with his associate 🤬)

the face nemu makes when samatoki starts kicking her kidnappers while they’re down help 😭😭😭😭😭😭

in the final tdd bonus, they adapted jakurai’s story he told to dohifu during their championship celebration and used that story to show jakurai had already been slowly awakening his ability. so i think it’s incredible smic didn’t suffer from hearing loss after slamming sticks into their eardrums lol maybe that’s where sensei’s ability started forming

kuukou in chapter 9: man check out all these cute girls!!!! 😁

kuukou in the nb drama track: why tf would you pay to talk to women????

(very unrelated instances lol but hilarious out of context tho)

kuukou and sasara going home in the same direction gave them time to talk and get to know each other and i wanna know what their conversations were about soooooo bad bro 😭😭😭😭

mcd/nb break up Did Not Happen I Do Not See It 😑

that moment where samatoki tells nemu ichiro’s kindness is his weakness because he saw ichiro’s breakdown over kuukou leaving him is— it’s kinda— 😭😭😭😭😭😭

yotsutsuji is an unsung mvp in this manga lol look at all the legwork he put in managing territories and finding intel

tdd was the group ramuda made and it was the group he made for himself but it was never his in the first place 😕

but if yotsutsuji never found out ramuda’s secret, or here; if yotsutsuji didn’t manage to send jakurai an email about it, idk if rmjk would have separated???? like what was the plan for jakurai??? ramuda said jakurai was his nirvana so i guess until chuuoku forced it, kp likely would have stayed together huh?? 🤔

ramuda: chuuoku kidnapped your brothers ichiro!!!!!

ichiro: AGAIN?????

me: damn took the words right out of my mouth lmao

samatoki’s beef with ichiro came from the lies they had nemu tell samatoki but like,,,,,,,,,,,, i kinda wanna know how the damage would have shaped if nemu hadn’t been brainwashed and went on her own will,,,,,,,,,,,

like ichiro admitted he likely would have done the same thing as samatoki but that hurt and betrayal at that moment……..????? well ig it’d go the same way in the end lol

chapter 9 had a conversation with rei and otome where rei praises her son for having balls lol so dice was on the run by 18 and making a name for himself lol i need to keep that in mind for a certain few chapters in both fpmtr runs

i thought it was interesting the battle that brought japan under tdd took place in osaka lol

also came out of this experience wondering once again when did ichiro get his hypnosis ability lol like ramuda already had his jakurai’s developed throughout the story, as did samatoki’s on the dl, but ichiro????

also came out of this very concerned for what this story has in store for nemu again lol like the way rhyme anima put focus on what she could possibly do as well as the end of this manga having otome and ichijiku musing her ability and skill might rival ichijiku’s 🤔

ooooooh and that kp bonus chapter!!!!!! ramuda had jakurai suffering under that waterfall lol like he was about to contract hypothermia after a little bit and ramuda ‘reasons’ it’s good training for taking hits without being knocked out SO YOU KNOW WHO REGULARLY TRAINS UNDER WATERFALLS FOR HOURS AT A TIME WITH A FOCUS BASED ABILITY HARAI KUUKOU—

#this is vee speaking #it was a fun time lol always is #samatoki and ichiro’s relationship in those first few chapters cracks me up the same way rio and saburo’s rhyme anima relationship does lol #like both instances rio and samatoki just lay down the law with a smack down and stand up and go ‘here’s some more tools for your success’ #smack down be damned lmao #kinda cried over the nb/mcd break up that didn’t happen this read thru lol #it was just the little things that subtly drove home how important kuukou was to ichiro 😭😭😭 #like that face off with nb&mcd vs mozuku was a fight for ichiro’s freedom like no wonder that hug was Like That kuukou was happy for him #ichiro was glad he was there 😭😭😭😭😭😭 and ichiro was glad kuukou’s steady presence was staying right by him IM WEAK #nemu was such a good big sister figure to jiro and saburo i’m sad nemu didn’t get to befriend the yamadas like she wanted to 😭😭😭 #ik ichiro crying over kuukou was a bit of a reset for samatoki but if anything that should show just how much ichiro would treasure nemu #don’t fight nemu and ichiro getting close samatoki y’all are meant to be one big happy family lmao #and i am not getting over saburo blocking her from memory saburo is not okay!!!!! he’s not!!!!!! #i should analyse saburo’s ability for what it pertains to himself like its name is ‘delete’ and here’s saburo deleting his memories like 😭😭 #anyway plenty more to think about which was the point of this reread lmao #canon’s starting back up in less than two months now’s a good time for it actually 🤔 #c: rapping boys

[asmallcafethatslove]

Melb trip hehe :-)

#lune’s kouign amann was sooooooo delicious & I’ve been dreaming about her ever since!!! waited in like for like 10 mins though which was 👍🏻 #bc I hate queuing and I avoid it at all costs #the state library was a literal dream!!! it’s so so soooo beautiful and I could just stare at it all day #the la la land reminded me of the movie :’) #Lulu’s ckt was soooooo sooooo delicious and hearty but so heaty at the same time #my friend asked us to try the jam donuts and I’m not a big fan of jam but I liked it and t’was delicious #ACMI was also fun!!! and mork chocolate was heaven 😌 #wished I could explore more and went outside of the city but I wanted to explore the city first since it was quite spaced out and all over #but it also means that I have a reason to come back :D #tram system made me realize how much I appreciate how simple our tram system are here lol #but weather was surprisingly really good too despite the numerous complaints abt how it’s unpredictable! #my friends and I were also saying how we were glad that we didn’t study here? as much as there are stuff to do but everything is so pricey #and I feel like we’d have a diff mindset #p #photo on bottom left taken on film!!!!!’

[domesticangel]

art tutorials that focus on improving your art for the sake of followers and internet clout are soooo…….

#like I can understand the importance of building up a base if you’re trying to do art for a living but #there’s usually no indication of that specifically it’s always like…HERES WHAT TO DRAW TO GAIN FOLLOWERS!!! #like a ‘tip’ I’ve heard sooo many times is literally just. draw what other people like. draw fan art for series that are popular #draw what other people like!! optimize your work flow!!! post every day!! #like maybe I’m just an old lady sitting on her front porch in a rocking chair but. does that not sound exhausting #I heavily drew fan art from ages like 15-23ish #and like it works it gets you followers and it gets you attn and it gets your stuff out there!!! #and listen this is just my own personal experience which is why this all seems weird to me but. #finally putting my whole pussy into original work and realizing my own ideas fufillment wise… #like if fanart was caffiene then working on original stuff has been a full face of blow for me #I don’t know. getting recognition from people who share common internists is fun and the validation of COURSE feels good #but getting over my need to just please the crowd and working to feel less afraid of the vulnerability inherent to sharing original work #it’s just a WHOLE different ballgame and I’m really glad I’ve started to play it #idk. many thoughts. do what feels good but don’t become clout poisoned. u know. #not everything is about optimization and marketability. get the ideas and colors and shapes out of your head. it is our destiny #txt

[allofuswantgwinam]

I actually had the worst day I’ve had in awhile now but i survived it

#barely #im learning to lean on the people that care about me #i even cried on my mom tonight and i hate crying in front of people 😭😭 #and it’s always been hard for me in general to talk to my mom especially but I’m learning to trust her and grow from our past #all that cheese and mushy shiz yeah yeah #work was insane tn and i was not prepared at all #i almost had a meltdown too but i kept it together and that’s when I called my co worker and she saved my ass #and my other coworker was trying to help me too that was off and was literally gonna leave her house to help me 🥺🥺🥺 #it was just so bad fr #and my hours switching has been a twist for me too which happened to be a factor of today #but I made shit work but it still also was a mess at the same time lmao #it was a crazy ass day and I’m just glad it’s over now #a lot of good things happened today but the bad was bad #im just glad I didn’t hold in my feelings and was also not too prideful to ask for help #im drinkin my wine and hittin my pen bc fuck the cold I’ll just be a vape god for now #that was kinda cringe but I’m drunk so don’t take me seriously besides the parts of this that are my feelings 🤣 #also got a card from one of my coworkers and my boss with a Starbucks gift card 🫶🏼 I was so surprised #that mfer wrote ‘crazy lady’ on the envelope 🙃🙃🤣🤣 #funniest guy I know right there lmao #we have too much fun and he only works like once a week bc he’s like 40 or 50 something with a million different jobs bc he’s the crazy one #today was a roller coaster basically 🤣🤣 but i did the shit and somehow managed to keep shit together #im just ready for the holidays to be over so work can not be super busy anymore #but i am excited for the holidays it’s gonna be amazing i think 🫶🏼 not gonna be hung up on fake love this time and will be able to enjoy it #fully #for the first time in too long #last Christmas was so bad it makes me sick thinking about it #fuck that guy so much #just realizing this was amazing wow #so hype to have a clear and free mind this holiday without our ‘relationship’ looming over me #proud of me for multiple things rn 🥹

[arthur-r]

i have the most insane fucking news

#fafsa got reprocessed they gave me a pell grant and my college saw that and gave me 20 fucking thousand dollars of grants #i’m in a special club now too with a special name for Scholars with Exceptional Financial Need #i fucking THOUGHT so. was terrifying when they gave me zero dollars and i am so glad it was a mistake #anyway i told my teacher this and he says it’s cause i manifested it…. #i would say that my anxiety around the matter was not the kind of energy that brings in good things. but maybe i was secretly being positive #idk shdhdf it did arrive like five seconds after i decided i should commit anyway and figure out how to make it work #so then the universe said oh you’re actually gonna do it?? maybe i’ll save you from the hundred thousand dollars of debt actually #maybe college can be actually a possibility for you without ruining your life forever #so anyway everything is freaking incredible now and everything is okay #and i needed this. cause things have been getting worse and worse at home so like. positive news from an outside source is very much needed #i fucking knew i qualified for a pell grant and financial assistance i felt like i was being gaslit #they literally just miscalculated my family contribution. thought my dad must be funneling his income into something illegal cause we do not #have the money that the fafsa told me we did. but it was literally just fucking wrong and everything is okay #and my dad came into my room crying a couple days ago saying he wants to do everything he can to help me with my loans as soon as he’s done #with paying off his own or once they get forgave in a couple years. so arthur supportive father arc i guess. SHDHDHDF #that graph benji made about my dad getting less transphobic over time it’s coming true. guy put prefer not to answer in the gender section #of a form and he HOVERED OVER THE TRANS BUTTON. that’s insane coming from having screamed at each other about trans issues since before i #even knew that i was trans my dad and i had gotten in screaming debates about queerness and now he keeps saying weird stuff about how he #wants my life to be good. which is fucking baseline father behavior that’s what you’re supposed to get out of a dad but like. i have always #felt like i’m either drenched in expectations or that he just can’t wait for me to leave. so this is really good progress. and with the #financial aid that means that he’s actually going to be able to help. do you understand what this means my dad can help pay off my couple #thousand dollars of loans that are gonna be left over (cause now that they noticed i need aid it’s so fucking cheap) and do you fucking know #do you know what this means. i’m sorry for swearing i don’t know why i am. but what this means is. i won’t be in thousands of dollars of #debt when i graduate or i will be but the monthly payment will be so low and. i can get fucking top surgery is what this means. and go on t #i thought i was gonna be in so much debt that i couldn’t. but its gonna be like. a couple thousand dollars a year something insane like that #so foreseeably i could be getting top surgery by the time i’m 24. that’s insane i can’t even imagine #so anyway. just. everything is going to be okay and there’s actually hope in the world and i’m going insane #obviously saying this can very easily jinx me to literally never ever be happy. but i’m gonna take the manifesting route actually shdhdhf #my life will be So Good Forever. i Believe This Wholeheartedly. Good Things Will Come To Me #anyway i’m gonna run out of tags in a couple seconds but i really needed this you have no idea. i hope everybody is doing well

[thehappiestgolucky]

Ah fuck now there’s rain world brainworms-

#happy screms #rain world #you give me little creatures i am going to brain worm over them and assign them family #*pointing at all the slugcats* consider - chaotic family relationship #i’m aware their playthroughs take place at different times which is super neat! i fucking love that! #the way the areas change! can’t wait to explore it myself! #but i’m also a sucker for stupid found fam and i will not apologise for it #plus i think drawing creatures for a while might be good for my art block #*squints at my humans and bugs* hmm. you are not coming out right rn and it is unfortunate #<- will absolutely eventually make gijinka of the slugcats because i am a simple creature #it is what i do. i cannot change thees #i do have some problems with the game. like the button responsiveness. but it’s still a very fun game! #i’m glad i stuck around with it #the downpour dlc on console releases on my birthday too which is just. lmfaO

[behaemoth]

I’m just remembering the time I posted a thought and someone with a dedication to being condescending and smarter than everyone chose to misread it and told me to use my brain for a minute and then agreed with the point I was actually making

#I’m so glad I’m not on twitter anymore lmao #and while I didn’t have an altogether negative time #I’m a bit regretful I spent a lot of lockdown on there in a fandom with like a game of thrones level tension #with a select few who became bnf which is a bullshit concept anyway who would pick fights over everything and dogpile on people constantly #and looking back on it I’m just like Jesus you people are miserable and made me miserable lol #anyway since quitting twitter my weekly screen time alerts have gone from like avg 6 hours to 2 which is rad #and I don’t miss twitter at all tho I miss a handful of people from there #good riddance I miss lj tho

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

.

#ahahahahah just had a convo with my dad #about how he’s at the average age of death for men in his family #and I’m like. . . DAD this is Not Helping #I worry about his health all the time anyway #like he’s super active which im very glad for #but like. . . he does have issues with blood pressure and he’s had two cancer scares in two years #and other than his dad none of the men in his family going back several generations have lived past 65 #my dad is 60 #HIS dad is 93 which is. . . comforting I guess but he’s also in so much mental and physical pain constantly #he doesn’t recognize anyone anymore and he’s always distressed #we did have a good talk about how it’s hard for both of us to see him like that and it makes visiting upsetting #but he’s family and he deserves to not be alone #I think about seeing my dad like that and I don’t think I could handle it #my dad doesn’t want to live that long either #we made an agreement he’s gotta make it into his 80s #then it’s up to him when he goes #ANYWAY I feel like thinking about mortality has taken over the last two years of my life between my health issues my grandma’s cancer and #my aunt’s death and the death of my friend’s gf #I mean it also has coincided with Covid so it’s probably on a lot of people’s minds lately #anyway that’s it for my venting tonight I think #personal #health

[boydykedevo]

Tbh it’s kinda funny that I don’t get jealous over ships involving my f/os but I DO get jealous over ships involving one half of my otps

#on further reflection that first half is not totally true #i do get jealous over mungo/teazer. not as much anymore which is good Jerrie and I have made our peace #but still enough that I’d call it a notp #but I’m specifically thinking taz-wise cuz Aubrey/Dani sick go off babe I’m glad ur having fun 😌 #i don’t really ship it ship it but I’ve got no problem with it they’re cute and my wife deserves nice things #meanwhile. other ship. i shan’t go into details I’ve done some numerous times and I’m sure it’s getting annoying. #i get jealous of behalf of a character. not on behalf of myself #w mungo/teazer it was NEVER as intense jealousy as this which is silly and stupid but ah well. brain will do as brain does. #icarus is talking

[lesbiansanemi]

I was also the only bitch in the movie theater. Like literally the only one. Which made me a bit anxious and self conscious but I had a very good time and greatly enjoyed it and I have many thoughts but I’ll save them for later until it’s been out longer 👍🏻

#I was like ‘oh god I’m not supposed to be here’ which is obviously ridiculous #but being the only person in the theater kinda felt that way jfjfjdkdk #but I liked it and I’m glad I went and I had a good time over all

[chiritori]

i wish it was easier to find people who share my interests irl

#i adore my friends but almost all of them are visual artists & cosplay crafters. neither of which i know how to do #so it can feel kind of isolating when they’re all talking about something i know nothing about & i kinda just sit there like Go Team! #and having to go to concerts alone every time cause none of my friends ever want to come with me is starting to make me really sad #not to mention my lack of friends who like music as much as i do makes me obsess over the very few people i know who do #which i really hate and i’d really like for that to stop happening #all this to say. i don’t even think my obsession with my crush is because of who they are as a person #it just stems from my desperation to find friends with the same interests as me #and like. i’m glad i can recognize that but wtf am i supposed to do about it? #i have no idea how to find people who like the same stuff i do! that’s the problem! #and i refuse to resort to using the internet again! nothing good has ever come of me doing that! #it just kinda feels like i’m stuck between a rock & a hard place #whatever #vent