#grumpy jobs

[rantsintechnicolor]

While picking crab apples, I am grumpy

It seems appropriate to be in a funk while picking crab apples, to be crabby while picking crabs. In my younger days, I might have let those negative emotions linger in me, let it ruin my day. But these days I’m constantly tempering and reframing my attitude, trying to balance them or outshine them with the brightness of happy thoughts so the darkness in me withers. Somes days it’s easier than others. Some situations are easier than others. As an example and for your entertainment; the good, the bad, the ridiculously detailed description of picking crab apples.

Crab apples are not always very tasty; the acids are often sharp and the tannin is bitter, and often at higher levels than most apples in a smaller package. That doesn’t mean they are useless. Children might enjoy using them as projectiles in a homemade slingshot, but they are still edible. They can be pickled and then thrown in salads or on cheese plates. They can be part of an amuse bouche, appetizer, or snack. They make a lovely jam if you want to take the time to de-seed them. They can be juiced; the fresh juice of a crab apple is some of the best apple juice I’ve had the pleasure of drinking. It’s more balanced. The acid and tannin are strong enough to cut through the cloying sweetness. And the juice from this particular variety is garnet red, dyed by the skins.

This particular variety of crab apple is so beautiful. It’s probably Dolgo, but the farmer before the current farmer lost the records of what was planted. There is a service that could sequence the genes for us, and maybe someday when we are flush with cash. The fruit is dark red (a favorite color), sometimes round, but mostly oblong like a grape. They are usually the size of cherries, and they don’t get much bigger than a large strawberry-- not a freaky large strawberry, like a regular large strawberry. When slightly under ripe, they are bright crimson and they appear to glow, perhaps because they are small enough that the brightness of the sun shines through them. When they are perfectly ripe, they are burgundy but still glow, and the native yeast on skin gives them a satiny, bluish sheen. When very ripe, they are a dark aubergine. And they smell amazing. Floral and spicy. 

Crab apples are such a pain to pick. They are used to pollinate the rest of the orchard so they are scattered throughout and finding the trees feels like hunting the trees. At least now we know they are every third row, every ten to twenty trees. And it’s fine, when the orchard is mowed. Woe to the pickers when it isn’t. The grass is chest height and it leaves sticky sap on my overalls. If it’s not the grass, it’s the prickly ox tongue (Helminthotheca echioides), teasel (Dipsacus fullonum), and sometimes the native thistle (Circium occidentale), which is so beautiful and makes my heart happy. These plants all evolved with prickly defenses, and the thistle is especially sharp. They have decided to grow taller to get out of the shade of the trees to get their chance at attracting a pollinator and competing for the sun’s light. There are times I get whacked in the face, and when my face itches later, it stings when I touch it because there are microscopic spines in my upper lip (they’ll work themselves out eventually, right?). 

Their small size also makes them a pain to pick. It takes so much longer, so much more time to pick the number needed to get a decent amount of juice, and crab apples usually yield less juice than larger apples. It’s great when the apples grow in clusters, but if I miscalculate and bump the branch, apples loose themselves, and shower me. They bounce off my hat, my chest, my face. This is fine, even comical, if the apples are perfectly ripe and a happy accident when they fall magically into the picking bag. But I have lost all the rest to the high grasses in the unmowed orchard. Oh well, there is another tree fifty feet that way.

Pollinator trees like these are rarely pruned, because the fruit is not the goal, it’s maximum bloom, maximum pollen production; as long as the bees can get in there, it’s all good. The canopy is tight and tangled. The suckers (rootstock) have been allowed to grow straight up and produce fruit. While reaching to get those perfectly ripe apples, my hat gets knocked off my head, branches hook on my clothing and gloves, arms get scratched up as I fight to get into the tree, and then fight again to get out. I’ve even got a little scratch on my face to accompany those microscopic spines. The tree has been allowed to grow so tall that branches must be bent and pulled down to harvest. Invariably, the branch slips out of my hand, and fling the apples off, all over the orchard, miles away as far as I’m concerned, and I’ve lost that precious quarter of a pound. Then there is the soreness of the arms from reaching up to pick. And the crick in the neck from looking up. And woe to me that brings no sunglasses to protect my eyes from the bright sunlight and the tiny debris and dust falling out of the tree, inevitably finding my eyes. 

It is a tragedy when I get to a tree too late, when the tree becomes what I call an apple sauce/vinegar tree (ASV), when Nature has made apple sauce in the tree. The flesh of this apple is white, but it darkens quickly to a pumpkiny orange; the high levels of tannin oxidize quickly when exposed to the air and is responsible for the color change. It’s the same color when it has become apple sauce on the tree. When I grab a cluster of seven off the ASV tree with one hand, it doesn’t feel right. Normally, I would just open my hand into the picking bag and let them fall without looking, but when I feel the unsettling squish I have to sort the mess of eviscerated apple guts clinging to the firm apples, their skin washed in the juice of the squished apple (I’m so glad I didn’t forget my gloves). These apples, that are sauce on the inside, barely cling to the tree, and when they fall into the picking bag, they must be removed immediately or before storage, before they have started to grow mold and spoil the rest of the apples in the bin, crate, or lug. When those apples shower me, I feel a sickly squish of them if they hit my face. I find them later in my clothes with a wet spot around them, because I have inadvertently juiced them between my layers of clothes as I harvested. If I approach a tree that smells like vinegar, I walk on to the next one, because all the applesauce apples will have begun fermenting on the tree and are useless for my purposes. 

Then there are the insects. Ticks. Ticks hiding in the tall grass. Oh, the anxiety they create. A quick internet search to the county health page will tell me tick bites rarely result in lyme disease in this county. I’ve never been bitten, but they do make my skin crawl for hours after seeing one. The flies. When it warms up, they are seeking my moisture and a cool place to rest. They want to get in my eyes, my nose, my ears. They wiggle into my waistband, under my bra strap, and they bite. And those bites itch for a month. Most recently, I was bothered by fleas. The deer that access the orchard bring them. And they bite hard. My neck, my hairline. I have to whip off my glove and scratch them off. “Fuck off!” I yell after the fifth time, then wonder if they even have ears (turns out they don’t). They get stuck in my fingernail but jump away before I’m able to slice them in half with another fingernail. For hours, my skin is crawling and every drip of sweat on my chest, my back, and my legs could also be an insect in my clothes getting ready to bite me.

On top of all these annoyances, I can pile my own personal hell; cramps. The pain is a distraction in itself, making me clumsy and slowing me down when I have to breathe through it (woe to me if it is time to refill my little IBuprofen bottle and I have only one pill left, and yet one pill is better than no pills). The cramps are an affront to my very being on a good day, but on a hot day when picking an ASV tree with biting fleas while losing apples to my clumsy hands, while poked and tripped by sharp plants… “Shut up,” I tell my uterus, knowing it doesn’t have ears.

All the while, I remind myself; how beautiful is this day, how perfect this August weather, how romantic these trees, how gorgeous these apples. How amazing will be these flavors from the juicing of these tiny treasures. How wonderful they will make the cellar smell. This will all be worth it, I tell myself. This will all be worth it. And maybe next year we’ll get out a few weeks earlier, and finally remember to bring a stick and a drop cloth so we can knock the apples out of the tree, instead of fighting and bending the branches. Seriously. After three days of the above, I still forgot to bring the right tools for the job, which is all the tools for the job! 

Stupid cramps.

---

I would now like to read a ridiculously detailed story about being grumpy while fishing for crabs.

#crabs #crabapples #grumpy #grumpy jobs #great jobs #nice work if you can get it #fleas #ticks #flies #insects #apples #harvest #apple picking #always look on the bright side of life #mood management #attitude check #creative writing #writing

[gunstellations]

its sonics turn! 👅

#sonadow #shadow takes his job very seriously #do not test a guy who has a 20 step skincare routine #sonic is definitely a scruffy little thing who damn near never brushes himself #shadow will make sure!!! that he is left shiny and smelling like freshly ironed laundry instead of dirt #idk there is something so....cute about this that i have never thought about before and i think shadow despite being a hybrid is #much better at doing things like this and less bashful compared to sonic who is just a stinky guy by default #he would be grumpy but very nurturing. i think it would give him a sense of calm to bond like this #sonics of course a little taken aback at his enthusiasm but its a pleasantly welcome surprise from someone like shadow esp #idk what level the relation between them would have to have progressed to for sth like this to even happen but yknow #simply. when he licc. it makes my heart melt #i almost cried drawing this.....i love shadow.... #almost forgot to tag #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #my art

[sophiethewitch1]

In Death's Embrace

Jason x Death!Reader

His head is in your lap, the sun peeking through the black locks of his hair. He grumbles at the light interrupting his nap, and turns and presses his face into your thigh. You chuckle, carting a hand through his hair just like he loves you to.

He’s at peace. The world is at peace. He’s safe here, in your unending embrace, and he knows he’ll never have to leave it. He knows that’s the way it should be.

“You’re so clingy today,” you tease him, and he chooses to ignore your words. The quiet is peaceful, and he longs for more of it, even as he wants your words too. Of course, as always, you understand. Instead, you whisper sweet nothings to him, gazing out at the wheat fields surrounding the two of you.

There’s a book in your hand, the one that doesn’t pet him. It’s in a language he doesn’t know, doesn’t recognise. It’s probably as old as you are.

He didn’t know much about you. He didn’t need to. He understood who you were, what you were. He wasn’t stupid. He understood that you comforted billions of others, held them like you held him. Maybe once he would’ve been jealous, but he knew that feeling was pointless too.

Here, you wouldn’t let him feel anything but peace. Here, he needn’t want for anything but you, and you’d always give yourself over to him freely.

Your hand pauses in his hair. It tightens. Jason likes the feeling, likes anything you do to him, but he senses your tension, and opens his eyes. You’re not looking at him, instead staring up at the blue sky. Mouth pursed, you tilt your head.

You look back down at him, smiling softly. It’s the same as every other smile you give him, but he doesn’t like it. Doesn’t trust it. Something’s wrong, and he’s filled immediately with a sense of panic he hasn’t known in years.

“Fascinating,” you say, and Jason pulls himself up from your lap, grabbing your hands in his. You let him move you, let him pull you to your feet, don’t resist as he follows his instincts, running into the strands of wheat like hell is on his heels.

It might be.

“Jason,” you call his name, your voice calm despite his hurried breathing, “Jason, dear.”

He pauses just long enough to look back at you, to look at the blue sky cracking open in jagged edges, to see the reeds pulling backward into a gaping void. He can feel the sucking gravity, and he plants his feet against the wind. You’re unaffected by the tear in the sky, your hair calm, your clothes still.

“Jason, it’s a good thing. Not many get a second chance,” you cajole him, pulling on hand from his grasp to cup his chin. He leans into your touch, savouring it, needing it.

“It’s not. I won’t leave you, I can’t,” he whispers, his words almost lost in the roar of the wind.

“You have no choice,” and your eyes are almost… sad. He doesn’t think that’s right. He doesn’t think someone like you should feel sad. You’ve seen so much, know so much.

What does it say for his future? What does it mean, when Death looks at you with pity?

“Save me, please,” he begs you, and you shake your head.

“I have no choice, either. You must make the most of it, Jason. You must do your best. And I’ll be here when you come home, waiting for you,” you promise him, and he has to choke down a sob. This isn’t right. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

He was supposed to have you forever.

“How can I when you’re not there with me?”

You peer into his eyes, and the void rips wider behind you.

“You won’t remember me, darling.”

The last thought, before it takes him, before it swallows him whole, is that that’s the worst part.

Part two!

#jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason tod x y/n #red hood x reader #jason todd imagine #jason todd headcanon #red hood x you #red hood x y/n #batfam x reader #part two? #ive also got an idea for persephone!jason x hades!reader #where hes hopelessly in love with you and very grumpy everytime has has to go bring spring in or whatever #and youre “like the fate of the world rests on this go do your job” and he's like “but babe :(”

[yuridovewing]

i really hate how the fandom’s excuse for jayfeather’s shitty behavior (and outright medical malpractice in certain cases. looking at the time he refused to help squilf in labour bc he couldnt be bothered and later blamed her for how bad it was) is “well the clan was ableist to him growing up, so fuck them!” ok how does that excuse him screaming at and berating the cats that didnt do any of that. or the babies.

#or ‘’well hes snarky and mean! we dont get snarky and mean characters!’’ what are you talking about everyone in this series is an asshole #im also a bit bitter bc you know if he were a she cat then he’d get tons of animations of ocs killing him #ppl (fanon and authors) really really want jay to be this underdog whos just grumpy at best #but in reality hes like. one of the head honchos in the clan. he holds a ton of power over people #sure sometimes the narrative doesnt WANT that to be the case but hes literally gods messenger boy #and is in charge of medical care #maybe im just very familiar with shitty doctors/nurses who abuse their patients and excuse it with ‘’but im stressed :(‘’ #but this character never was endearing to me even before the team switch #jayfeather is not your beaten down blorbo in a shitty retail job hes the nurse making a tiktok about how cringey pregnant patients are #also i just. really despise ‘’but theyre traumatized :(‘’ as an excuse for abusive behavior #did you ever think maybe some of his patients like twigkit were traumatized by his behavior?

[trobedarchive]

they are so so special to me

#inside job #reagan ridley #brett hand #breagan #brett x reagan #brett x me too tbh #and reagan x me #i want both of them #sun and moon #grumpy x sunshine #my fav trope #meme #netflix

[ghostlyarchaeologist]

Eliot in glasses compendium.

(Jake)

(Alex)

#leverage #leverage redemption #eliot spencer #christian kane #this guy in glasses #yes please #the detail that he originally wore them because he needed them got lost along the way #somewhere after the new glasses line from jailhouse job #although he did wear them again for reading purposes once in redemption #i mean canonically he probably wears contacts #cause getting punched wearing glasses sucks #but also consider that this is the reason why he's always scowling in redemption #he's not grumpy he's squinting #because he's too stubborn to go and put his glasses on #yeah he needs to wear them more in redemption #tag essay #long post #ghostly'sgifs

[falling-star-cygnus]

the one thing that i will never shut up about in FMA:B

is that when everyone was getting dragged across the ground by Pride

Ling only called out for Ed

#he didn’t even look at anyone else #pride rlly be doing his job ig #in light of a recent reblog i have fixed my wording 😭 #pride would roast them tho #ur so right #edling #ling yao #edward elric #ed x ling #ling x ed #fmab #fullmetal alchemis brotherhood #fullmetal alchemist #fma brotherhood #grumpy x sunshine

[xoxoemynn]

How I'm currently feeling about there being no S3

#emynn.op #ofmd #my coworker is being an ass again and it's making me grumpy about all the things #if he can throw a temper tantrum about having to do his job I can have one about not having my pirates back #FEELING VERY CRANKY ABOUT IT WANT TO PUNCH AND KICK ABOUT IT

[maddymoreau]

Mr. House and Courier Six drawn by onigiriice

#( ভ灬ভ )( ⁠˵⁠ ͡⁠ ᵕ ⁠ ͡⁠⁠ ˵ )♡ LOOK HOW STINKIN ADORABLE THEY TURNED OUT!!!!!! #GO CHECK ONIGIRIICE OUT SHE DID SUCH A WONDERFUL JOB AND WAS GREAT TO WORK WITH ♡(⸝⸝⸝ᵒ̴̶̷ ꇴ ᵒ̴̶̷⸝⸝⸝)!!!!!! #AHHHHHHHH I CAN'T GET OVER HOW SHE CAPTURED MR. HOUSE'S GRUMPY FACE PERFECTLY!!!!! HOW SOFT AND SWEET MADISON LOOKS ♡(⸝⸝⸝•ॢ ⸝⸝ •ॢ ⸝⸝⸝)!!!!! #I LOVE IT!!!!!! ESPECIALLY ALL THE LITTLE GAMBLING DETAILS LIKE THE CARDS AND POKER CHIPS o(⸝⸝> ∇ <⸝⸝ o)♡!!!!!! #IT'S SO CUTEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! #Fallout New Vegas #Mr. House #Robert House #Robert Edwin House #MadisonHouse #Selfship #Courier Six #Selfshipping #Commission

[irritablegallowglass]

Gifs of Eliot that no one asked for but I made them anyway (40/?)

#leverage #eliot spencer #christian kane #the mile high job #grumpy boy

[autumnslance]

"I hate these particular characters/groups cuz they killed people, and death is bad!"

"So we should kill all these other characters and anyone associated with them because they're all inherently bad and that will solve all the problems and we can live happily ever after!"

Quick, which antagonists, nations, groups, or other lore figures am I talking about?

(Answer: pretty much any and all of them)

I know this is a video game where we violently fight everything for experience and loot, and to move story (though some NPCs seem to die a lot less often than the defeat animations would indicate).

But there's a real interesting thought process in how some folks see the "obvious" resolution to handling some characters/groups only in terms of punishment.

Especially despite much of the story's own discussions of rebuilding, second chances, and reforging community (and how that often works better than simply beating down others).

#final fantasy xiv #grumpy old lady hours #lore #characters #punishment #some people do not grasp nuance but also the diff between justice & vengeance nor who are actually at fault #WoL isn't actually the arbiter of who lives & who dies they literally let others make those calls most of the time #There are whole job & raid & side story quests about such things even

[geekynightowl1997]

Eliot annoyed that Hardison didn't show up for the recon

"Idiots." Eliot whispers after Nate and Sophie find cuffs and whips in a lost and found luggage.

"Second class citizen, I'm in coach." Eliot says as he walks onto the plane.

Pinches the bridge of his nose as Parker does the safety protocols for an airplane.

The struggle of being exasperated 100% of the time is real.

Forget about Eliot's grumpiness! It's all about his exasperation and annoyance.

#leverage #eliot spencer #parker #sophie devereaux #alec hardison #nate ford #the mile high job #eliot's default setting is being annoyed and grumpy #its also being exasperated #but people only ever see hus grumpiness #also eliot in the background while parker talks to the passenger- i can tell if christian kane is trying hard to hide his smile or not #also for the some reason if parker was a flight attendant on a flight I was on- i'd trust her in times of crisis #christian kane #aldis hodge #beth reisgraf #gina bellman #timothy hutton

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

also! i know i'm probably like a year and a half late to the scene here, but what the FUCK is that font? it looks like the font you'd use for a children's movie about dragons. and then to pair it with two other non-complementary fonts on top of it? like, shipwar aside, this is what we should be actually upset about. who made that design choice, and who proceeded to then review said design choice, and then allowed it to be seen by the public? bc they should all probably be fired

#not to be grumpy in my usually calm sandbox #but respectfully #what the fuck? #and yes ik this has been out for ages #i just wasn't posting about it then #im catching up on my roasts leave me alone #caryl #twd #twd: daryl dixon #how do you even tag book of carol? #that is a bad title for a show you did a bad job #🙄🙄🙄 #anyway #dunlap tp

[mattsmemes]

#meme #mattsmemes #memes that make you go hmmm #cat #cats #cat meme #zoom #teams #glaring #cats with jobs #cats of the internet #grumpy cat #cats of tumblr

[incomingalbatross]

I have a groundbreaking concept.

A wedding episode/story where nothing unusual goes wrong (or even NEARLY goes wrong) and the audience and characters both just get to enjoy this big event without it going off the rails at any point.

#this is not inspired by any particular case just by my general grumpiness with the way Wedding Episodes seem to pan out #i don't WANT something to go dramatically wrong! i don't want the wedding to be called off or end up cobbled together out of the wreckage! #this should be a great opportunity to show your characters' bonds and love for each other--both in the pairing and the community around the #also i just hate seeing people's hard work and plans wrecked and do you know how much work goes into a wedding?? #i WANT to see the dress and the cake and the flowers and the reception that they worked so hard on actually come to fruition #but probably most of all and especially. weddings ARE supposed to be the start of a Happily Ever After and if you've done your job right #then the characters getting married should have MERITED that #the plot can continue after sure. but i want them to get One Nice Day for the start of their new life. marriage deserves celebration #and domesticity! marriage deserves the domesticity of an episode where everyone successfully enjoys a really nice party after the wedding!

[burnin0akleaves]

Lord of the Mountains of Rain and Night (for a particular ask blog)

#lord morgarath #rangers apprentice #the early years #🍃 fanart #this is my way of showing I come in peace I swear I'm not a grumpy old man yelling at anything new #also I love Morgarath's characterization is the ask blog its way more interesting to me than the canon books #and I usually dont like the cocky magnificent bastard trope #so the person writing him is doing a very good job