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#he got to top dilf list of the year
noblogname765 · 5 months
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Oh JUST LOOK AT HIM
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mrshesh · 9 months
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hi! do you have any general hcs for the cod:ghosts boys?
general headcanons - call of duty: ghost's
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overview: general headcanons of the call of duty: ghost's boys!
pairing: none!
genre: fluff, pure tomfoolery
a/n: hi anon! i'm thrilled i finally got a request for these boys. i love them so much, it's getting a bit unhealthy. you're truly the best for requesting them! i hope you love it!
x logan walker
He sucks at puzzles. He’s smart and tactical, but puzzles are on another level of difficulty for him. 
He likes doodling a lot. If he has a pen and a surface to draw on, he will sketch a small smiley or a caterpillar. It has become such a habit that he doesn’t even think about it when he does it. It got so bad that once, Keegan called him out on it mid-doodle, leaving Logan embarrassed for a week. 
He loves the ocean, but beaches annoy him. He hates sand. (I firmly believe his hate for them is from Hesh throwing sand in his face as children.)
He has a picture of him and Hesh as kids in his wallet. He feels calmer when he looks at it, getting into the habit of peeking at it when stressed. 
He’s an avid Deftones enjoyer. He loves Beware and Diamond Eyes. 
He likes caramel-scented things, but he doesn’t like the taste of it. 
He has some insane dirt on Elias, and, of course, Hesh knows all of it. 
For some odd reason, he’s phenomenal at parallel parking. 
x david "hesh" walker
He loves movies. He can watch any genre! Horror? Great! Action? Love. Romance? Cute! Comedy? Perfect! He loves it all. Shows, however? Nope. 
He takes pride in his nails being clipped and filed at all times. He was a nailbiter in his teens, so he cares about his nails more than he should today. 
He can’t cook to save his life. 
Eminem is his go-to artist. He loves and respects many artists, but Eminem will always be at the top of his list. He loves Stan. 
He’s respectful in general.
He’s extremely secure and confident, yet he’s still pretty nervous when he talks to girls. 
He loves long car rides. Driving around in his car while listening to his favorite songs brings out a unique joy in him. 
He, unlike Logan, loves beaches! (He wasn’t the one who got sand thrown on him, so he’s thriving.) 
He hates coriander. 
x elias "scarecrow" walker
Unlike his son, Elias is great at puzzles! He’s disappointed Logan didn’t inherit that quality. He mourns it every day. 
He loves pickles. (Same.)
He manipulated himself into liking beer many years ago. 
People call him DILF all the time. It has happened too many times to count. He finds it funny, while Hesh and Logan are horrified every time. 
He doesn’t know how to put on chapstick. He puts it between his lips and swipes it back and forth, not on his lips. 
He got so much action when he was a teenager/young adult. He tells Logan and Hesh to “live a little” so they can experience that life, too. 
He doesn’t listen to music often, but when he does, he listens to either Korn or Chris Isaak. 
He adores Riley, sometimes stealing him from Hesh without warning. 
x keegan russ
He secretly enjoys ASMR. It helps him unwind and de-stress, but not sleep, surprisingly.
He’s excellent at the game Mafia. 
He has made way too many people giggle excitedly because of his voice. He finds it amusing but disturbing at the same time. He knows it’s attractive, but that many people? He has even made Elias giggle like a schoolgirl because of his vocal folds. 
Keegan strikes me as a Slipknot fan. He finds Killpop and Vermillion to be sexy. 
He loves grocery shopping. 
He talks to himself a lot. He’s antisocial and quiet around others, but when Keegan’s alone, he keeps having full-on conversations with himself. Merrick caught him doing it once - he never brought it up again. 
He enjoys lasagna a bit too much. 
He had a motorcycle phase as a young adult. It got so bad he learned how to do a wheelie on them, but his love for them has died down in the many years he’s been alive. 
He thinks wine is gross. 
x thomas merrick
He cannot stand bananas. Everything about them makes him gag. 
He gets such a rise out of being a bitch. He’s already annoying by default but strives to be even more insufferable for the fuck of it.
He, Alex, and Keegan smoke while being sentimental together at least once a month. (It’s always with Keegan and Alex - Elias, David, and Logan get left out.) 
He listens to underground metal like Sold Soul, and he thinks it makes him superior to everyone else. (And he gatekeeps it.)
He’s immune to pretty much all physical pain except for waxing. It’s enough to make him cry. 
He loved trains as a child.
His comfort song is Toxicity by System Of A Down. 
His appetite is insane. This man can eat a horse and still be hungry by the end of it. 
His calves are huge for some reason. 
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dear-ao3 · 1 year
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absolutely, completely and in all other ways OUTRAGED that @wearewatcher did not include dr. heinz doofenshmirtz on their list of disney dilfs.
is he technically from disney channel? yeah. does that matter? no. is he better than pongo and maurice and king triton? absolutely.
and i will tell you why.
as we all know, doofenshmirtz had a horrible upbringing:
-his own parents didnt show up for his birth -he had to throw his own surprise party -big black boots boris the bully kicked sand in his face -a kid outshined him at a science fair with a baking soda volcano -his mom wouldnt let him swim in pools -his dad won a dog and said it was the son he never had and named it only son -had to wear dresses to school -he smelled like pork ?? idk this one doesnt get explained -his brother was better at kickball than him -his brother got the teddy bear he got out of a claw machine and it ruined the family dynamic -he couldn't make pretzels -he failed as a magician -his first date was ruined -he lost a girl to a dude with big hands -has no coordination -accidentally ended up in america? -lived with a family of ocelots ??? -he had to be a garden gnome -was always thwarted and outshined by his brother roger
yea you get the idea
but does he pass any of this down to his daughter, vanessa??
no! he does not!
-he actually takes his daughters advice -he is a fantastic single dad and makes a good life for her (and supports her being goth. very important.) -he is civil with his ex wife also (which helps vanessas childhood) -he brings vanessa to work and tries to bring her into the family business -he wants his inators to be fun for her as a learning experience -he always gives her extravagant birthday parties !!! esp her sweet 16!!! -he does not direct his negative feelings towards his daughter ever, its always towards perry -he spends 10 years looking for a discontinued mary mcguffin doll!!! for her!!
and so on
instead of being horribly to his daughter he rather brilliantly uses his arch nemesis (perry the platypus) as a free therapist (rather ingenious in this economy) and channels his childhood trauma into creating his inators in order to take over the tri state area.
so hes definitely dedicated, knows his way around a toolbox and programming (valuable skills in the technology age), broke through the stigma of generational and childhood trauma, and hes just a little bit evil. as a treat. at least in terms of ryans criteria he is a fantastic dad. and that is what we are judging the dilfs on.
so in conclusion. @wearewatcher. why isnt dr. heinz doofenshmirtz on the top 5 disney dilfs list???
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hamsterclaw · 7 months
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Fic Library: Namjoon
A list of incredible fics I've read and re-blogged on my (almost) 2 years on here. These stories all celebrate our fave big, brainy, clumsy, sometimes annoying, always sexy Joon, check them out and give these authors some love!
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The Body Through Time by @yeoldontknow. KNJ x f! reader, sexy academia AU. Angsty fic with Namjoon as a smouldering brainiac.
Goodnight Nabi by @sahmfanficbts. Get used to seeing Sam's handle in my lists because she's one of my fave writers and a lovely person to boot. KNJ x f! reader, sexy DILF mechanic Namjoon. A sexy, beautiful fic with Sam's signature hope and heart.
Pronoia by @junghelioseok. KNJ x reader, college + zombie apocalypse AU. A cracky, funny, zingy story with guest appearances from other members - including JK and Yoongi.
Booty Jorts by @miscelunaaa, who also has a good showing in my fic recs for her top notch writing and just being a great human. KNJ x f! reader - this is a smuttily delicious gem.
Shell-ter by @miscelunaaa. Hermit crab! Namjoon x marine biologist reader. I genuinely think about this grumpy (crabby?!) Namjoon all the time.
Scent of a woman by @sahmfanficbts. Leopard hybrid parfumerie boss! Namjoon x employee f! reader. There's always so much humanity in Sam's stories, and this does not disappoint.
How I love you by @ahundredtimesover. KNJ x f! reader. A 28k beautiful musing on love and marriage that's thought-provoking and sensitively written.
Seoul Redemption by @sahmfanficbts. Forger! KNJ x single mom! reader. A gorgeously realised imagining with a noir vibe and very human characters.
Park and Ride (Explicit) by @here2bbtstrash. KNJ x reader, idolverse. The first story I read by M, and it made me want to read so much more of her work. Sexy, fast-paced, and this Namjoon is swoonworthy.
Holding on letting go by @augustbutwinter. KNJ x gn! reader. August is queen of the short impactful drabble but her longer pieces are just as incredible. A sad, angsty, truthful, beautifully realised gem.
Cuffing Szn by @miscelunaaa. FBI agent KNJ x soft-bodied/plus-sized reader. Joon's an FBI agent, he's big and sexy, do you really need to know any more?
Reckless by @vyduan. Part of the Her multiverse. KNJ x reader, also featuring JJK x reader, idolverse. I started reading vyduan's writing when I first got into BTS fanfic, and apart from being a fucking fantastic writer, she's also an all-round good egg with a razor sharp wit. Reckless is hot and sexy and reader is gritty, strong and kickass. Namjoon is the arrogant pompous asshole of my dreams in this.
Fall apart & redefine by @ugh-yoongi. Idol KNJ x f! reader. Namjoon's music and musings give off sadboi vibes to me, and this gorgeous, angsty story captures all of that. Stunning.
On the line 1 by @augustbutwinter. KNJ x reader. I was only speaking the truth when I said August writes drabbles like no other. Short, cute and impactful.
Hey, it's me by @yoongiphoria. Exes Namjoon x reader. I remember reading this for the first time around the time Indigo came out and thinking how perfectly it captured the vibe of the album. I still love it now.
Untitled by @ahundredtimesover. An idolverse AU ft KNJ and f! reader. Musings on loss and impermanence and legacies also inspired by Indigo.
If this is all we can do by @yoongiphoria. A follow up to Hey, it's me, linked above, that made me stop skim reading and pay attention. Angsty, full of longing and just a great read.
The package thief by @blog-name-idk. KNJ x f! reader, enemies to lovers. I'm a fan of Mango's cracky humour, and it comes through in this judgy, petty and somehow also endearing Namjoon.
Shut up! by @daechwitatamic. KNJ x gn reader. I love it when a story alludes to Namjoon being annoying and I especially like how reader shuts him up. Smutty, sexy and so so good.
Envy by @whatifyoulivelikethat. KNJ x f! reader. Love this author's general DGAF vibes, and they've also written some of my favourite stories. Namjoon's gorgeously written and darkly sexy in this. So so hot.
The one with Namjoon and the u-haul by @eoieopda. KNJ x Jeon! reader. Jade's writing is sharply hilarious and this is a perfect example. A dreamy, sexy Namjoon and a lil shit JK.
Pheromones by @rmnamjoons. Spaceship captain Joon x spaceship botanist reader, sci-fi AU. The fic that introduced me to the concept of sex pollen and a sexy, sex-crazed yet somehow still chivalrous Namjoon.
Promise Me KNJ x f! reader, JJK x f! reader, military AU, by @sahmfanficbts. A beautifully written, tender love story that made me cry and reflect on my life. Sam writes emotions like no one else.
Additional notes: A few of my favourite Namjoon stories, are only on AO3, for which I've created a separate post.
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venus-haze · 9 months
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Working for the Knife (Mickey Altieri x Reader)
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Summary: It’s been over 15 years since the Windsor College murders, not that they had ever been on your radar. That changes when you get hired at a New York marketing firm where you work closely with Mickey Altieri, alleged Ghostface killer whose charges were dropped after a controversial mistrial. Working so closely together piques your interest in each other, soon spiraling out of control. [This is an AU.]
Note: Female reader implied to be mid-20s or older, but no other descriptors are used. This is based on an anonymous request and also Timothy Olyphant being such a DILF, I had to write something like this (I had Justified era Olyphant in mind while writing this, specifically these gifsets, but you can picture whatever hehe). Creative liberties have obviously been taken. Do not interact if you’re under 18 or post thinspo/ED content.
Word count: 6.8k
Warnings: True crime elements (the reader engages with a lot of true crime content), but obviously this is a fictional serial killer. Mutual stalking/obsession. Sexually explicit content that includes dubious consent fantasy that involves knifeplay; spanking, daddy kink, oral sex (f. receiving). Do not interact if you’re under 18.
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For once, you felt like things were going your way. After a little over three years of scraping by at your old job where you were woefully overworked and underpaid, your months-long job search finally came to an end when a mid-sized marketing firm gave you an offer you couldn’t refuse. Sure, you’d taken a huge pay raise and shifted to a hybrid schedule with your new job, but the highlight was undoubtedly Mickey, the only other person on your small team and the type of sexy older man you sure as hell didn’t mind spending your days in the office with.
With the whole company working hybrid or completely remote, people only came in sporadically, as did you and Mickey, only going in on Tuesdays and Thursdays, with the occasional Friday if needed. As a result, you didn’t get much of a chance to meet anyone else who worked there. 
Your first week was fully in person, since some of the programs you’d be using for the job were easier to learn if he were there to show you. You certainly weren’t complaining, having plenty of time to get a feel for your new coworker, silently observing and testing the waters with light flirting, which he seemed to return. Maybe you were just a little too hopeful.
“Big plans for the weekend?” you asked when five o’clock rolled around on Friday.
“Got a hot date with Netflix,” he said. “How about you?”
“My friend and I are getting drinks later, but that’s about it.”
“What’s your poison?”
“Anything under $10, if I can help it.”
He grinned. “A woman after my own heart. Don’t have too much fun.”
“I’ll try,” you said, smiling as you began packing your laptop into your bag. “Have a good weekend, Mickey.”
“You too.”
With your first week at your new gig down, you headed to a small bar in Flatbush to celebrate with your best friend and dish the highly anticipated dirt on your hot coworker. Lee was already at the bar when you’d arrived, sitting at a small table and sipping a beer she went ahead and bought herself.
“Drinks are on me,” you said. “I fucking owe you.”
Lee grinned. “Always glad to help.”
You wouldn’t have gotten the job without Lee. She helped you fudge your resume to match the experience on the job listing, gently scamming your way into the position you now held. All week you’d been texting her about how great things were going, and fawning over Mickey, of course.
After joking about ordering top-shelf liquor on your dime, Lee settled on a margarita, undoubtedly the first of many for the night. You returned from the bar with your drinks, more than ready to gush about how much better your new job was compared to the hell of your old one. Nothing could bring down your mood.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, they pay you out the ass and you don’t have to worry about health insurance anymore. Great,” Lee said over her margarita. “I wanna hear about your hot DILF coworker. No detail is too small.”
“Lee, oh my god, it’s not even fair how hot he is. Our desks are right next to each other in an L shape, and I feel like such a weirdo for staring at him all the time. He’s been so nice helping me all week, too. Maybe I’m looking too much into it, but sometimes I feel like he’s being a little flirty?”
“Is he married?”
“No ring, and no mention of any family or long-term relationship. I don’t get it, how could Mickey be single?”
“You don’t hear many people going by Mickey anymore,” she said. “Either he’s a mouse or incredibly Irish.”
“I think he’s Italian,” you mused. “Altieri sounds Italian to me.”
Lee’s eyes widened. “Shut the fuck up.”
“Wait, was that offensive?”
“No, just that you’re working with an alleged serial killer.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” you asked, but she was already busy typing away at her phone.
Suddenly, Lee’s phone was shoved in your face, a your hot coworker’s mugshot front and center in an archived New York Times article from October 1998.
SUSPECT ARRESTED IN WINDSOR COLLEGE KILLINGS
Michael ‘Mickey’ Altieri, 21, was arrested early Thursday morning in Windsor, Ohio, as the primary suspect in the Windsor College killings. Among the charges are first degree murder, attempted first degree murder and aggravated assault. Altieri has maintained his innocence and is being held on $1,000,000 bail in Windsor County Jail as he awaits trial. 
The brutal killings that made national headlines were directly inspired by the ‘Ghostface’ murders in Woodsboro, California, two years prior and coincided with the release of STAB, a film based on Woodsboro survivor and reporter Gale Weathers’ book on the murders. Survivor Sidney Prescott was a student at Windsor College and targeted yet again in the latest string of murders. Allegedly, Altieri’s accomplice was Debbie Loomis, mother of one of the two original Ghostface killers, Billy Loomis. Mrs. Loomis was killed in an altercation prior to Altieri’s apprehension by police.
You looked away from her phone screen, feeling like your head was spinning though you weren’t even finished with your first drink. “Well, if he did all that stuff, why isn’t he on death row or something?”
“There was a mistrial. It was a huge thing,” Lee said. “You’ve seriously never heard of it?”
“No. Can you send that to me?” you asked.
“Yeah, I’ll send some podcast episodes and Youtube videos on it, too. You know I’m on that true crime shit.”
It took a few more drinks for you to be able to shake off the thought of your hot older coworker potentially being a serial killer, but the rest of your night with Lee was a lot of fun. She’d been one of your closest friends in college, and the two of you lived together when you first moved to New York. You knew she meant well, but damn, did that news put a damper on things.
You returned to your apartment a little after midnight, kicking off your heels at the door and collapsing on your couch, not bothering to make the short walk to your bedroom. 17 missed texts from Lee, all links to videos and podcasts about Mickey that she recommended.
Among the links Lee had sent you was a nearly hour long Youtube video titled: ‘What Happened at the Windsor College Ghostface Trial? A Deep Dive’. The woman in the thumbnail had a scared expression on her face, her eyes focused on that same mugshot of Mickey you saw in the old New York Times article. 
Pressing on the link in your messages, you had the video come up on your TV instead, slouching back in your seat as it began to play.
‘I know most stuff about the Windsor College murders focus on just that, the murders, but I thought it’d be interesting to go into the trial that followed because it was almost like something out of a movie, but it doesn’t get as much attention as the killings, especially since there have been like two more Ghostface murder sprees since this happened. I’m just presenting facts and my own observations here for educational purposes, and it’s not my intention to imply guilt on anyone who hasn’t been convicted in a court of law. Before we get into it though, I wanna give a huge thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring today’s video—‘
You rolled your eyes, skipping through the three-minute long sponsorship spiel.
‘So my sources for this video are Gale Weathers’ books Wrongly Accused: The Maureen Prescott Murder, The Woodsboro Murders, and College Terror. I also used James Chase’s book Ghostface on Trial, articles from newspapers and a few like lawyer journals that I was able to find online, and whatever stuff from the trial itself that’s public information. I have it all linked in the description—“
Pausing the video, you pulled up the New York Public Library website and searched for College Terror and Ghostface on Trial. Copies of both were available at the branch near your office, and you wasted no time in putting a hold on the books. 
The next few minutes of the video gave an overview of the murders at Windsor College, which you half-paid attention to. You’d watched Stab 2 in high school, so you felt you were familiar enough with the killings. Thinking back on the movie, though, all of the characters had the same names as their real-life counterparts except for Mickey. Legal reasons, you assumed.
You turned up the volume on your TV as the video finally got into the details of the trial.
‘As soon as Mickey was arrested, theories were all over the news about what had happened and there was a ton of speculation about his guilt. James Chase, a controversial defense attorney from Chicago, took on the case pro-bono, stating in his book Ghostface on Trial that he knew he stood to make more money on a book deal, interviews, and speaking engagements by winning the case than whatever fees he’d get for representing Mickey. The defense focused on discrediting both of the prosecution’s star witnesses early on in the trial, planting seeds of doubt in the jury.
Chase and his team leaned heavily on the fact that three years prior, Sidney Prescott had incorrectly identified Cotton Weary as her mother’s killer when in fact it was Sidney’s former boyfriend Billy Loomis and their mutual friend Stu Macher who had committed that initial murder that led up to the original Woodsboro Ghostface murders. 
Gale Weathers’ testimony was also discounted by the defense on the fact that she was a sensationalistic tabloid journalist who’d admittedly fabricated elements of her best-selling book on the Woodsboro killings. She claimed this was a result of editing and to achieve a better narrative flow. 
The defense also said the deceased Debbie Loomis had more of a reason to go after Sidney and recreate her son’s Ghostface murders as revenge for his death. They pushed the idea that she acted with Sidney’s boyfriend, Derek, and that Mickey ended up getting caught in the crosshairs of what was a gruesome and unfortunate situation. Sidney maintained Derek’s innocence, but the fact that both he and Debbie were killed by gunshot wounds made it likely they were the Ghostface duo this time around.
Former Woodsboro Deputy Dewey Riley, another survivor of both Ghostface killings, was unable to testify because he was in a coma. He later said that because he was incapacitated before Sidney and Gale allegedly confronted Debbie and Mickey, he couldn’t say for sure who the killer or killers were, but he trusted their judgment and stood behind their testimonies. 
It didn’t help either that Sidney was visibly distraught while on the stand and mixed up details of the original Woodsboro murders and the Windsor College ones. Gale was initially confident while being questioned by the defense, but later became combative when the inaccuracies in her books came up. In contrast, Mickey appeared calm and earnest, and seemed to have his story straight every time he took the stand.
There’s actually some footage of the trial that I was able to find, so I’m gonna play that now.’
The video was grainy, camera focused on an agitated-looking Sidney Prescott sitting in the witness stand. On the other side of the stand, a blond man in a gray suit read off from a stack of papers in his hand. 
“Ms. Prescott, in your statement to police, you claimed that Mr. Altieri admitted to both you and Ms. Weathers that he had committed the murders with Debbie Loomis and wanted to get caught. Could you perhaps explain to myself and the jury, why exactly an alleged killer would want to get caught?”
“Because he’s fucking sick in the head!” Sidney exclaimed.
“Language, Ms. Prescott,” Judge Matthews said.
“He said he did it on purpose,” Sidney continued, her voice breaking. “He told us he wanted to get caught so he could blame it on the movies! He had everything planned out, the lawyers he wanted, the angle the media would take, he even quoted that line from Psycho, ‘We all go a little mad sometimes.’”
Chase furrowed his brow as he looked over the papers in his hands. “When did he say this? I’m not seeing that in your statement.”
“He said it right after he shot Randy,“ Sidney said.
“Randy wasn’t shot, he was stabbed.” 
Sidney’s eyes widened. “I know. I meant—“
“Ms. Prescott, is there something you didn’t include in your police statement that you’re telling us now?”
Her voice was barely a whisper. “Billy quoted Psycho, after he shot Randy at Stu Macher’s house, not Mickey. I got mixed up.”
You gasped, bringing your hand to cover your mouth. The courtroom on your screen devolved into nothing short of pandemonium. The video then faded into Gale Weathers in the middle of being questioned by the defense. She, in contrast to Sidney, looked confident and well-put together under Chase’s grilling.
“Ms. Weathers, you wrote in your book that your camera man Kenny was gutted, when in actuality his throat was slashed, is that correct?”
Gale nodded. “It is.”
“Why the inconsistency?” 
“All books, fiction or nonfiction go through an editing process. That was a decision made by my editor to establish a better narrative flow. It isn’t uncommon in the true crime genre by any means.”
“Better narrative flow isn’t the truth, though, is it?” Chase asked.
“Look, a book is a book. I’ll say right now under oath that Kenny was killed when one of those guys in the Ghostface costume slit his throat. I’ll also say under oath that Mickey Altieri did commit those murders with Debbie Loomis, and he confessed it to me and Sidney Prescott.”
“Your honor, this isn’t the only major inconsistency we’ve found in Ms. Weathers’ book on the Woodsboro murders. Yesterday we distributed to the prosecution and now present to the jury at least seventeen of these major inconsistencies.”
“What do you want me to say? I’m the cheesy tabloid journalist everyone thinks I am?”
The corners of Chase’s lips twitched. “Not quite my words.”
“You’re a real piece of work,” Gale scoffed.
The jury murmured among themselves at her shift in attitude. You found yourself chewing on your nail, enraptured by the trial. For the last time, the video faded out and then back in to show Mickey, your coworker, sitting on the witness stand. This time, the prosecutor was in front of him, his annoyed expression a contrast to Mickey’s calm demeanor.
“Mr. Altieri, we have signed affidavits from several of your former classmates that in your film theory class, you claimed in a heated argument with Randy Meeks and CiCi Cooper, both of whom were killed by this ‘Ghostface’ persona of yours—“
“Objection!” Chase shouted. “Claiming the Ghostface persona belongs to Mr. Altieri is an undue presumption of guilt.”
“Sustained,” Judge Matthews said. “I advise you to reconsider your wording going forward, counselor.”
The prosecutor huffed. “You claimed in a heated argument with Randy Meeks and Casey Cooper, both of whom were killed by the ‘Ghostface’ persona, that violent movies were responsible for influencing people to commit acts of violence, is that correct?”
“It was a classroom discussion. Our professor had brought it up because two fellow students were brutally killed at the premier of a slasher movie the night before, by someone dressed as the killer from that same slasher movie. I just thought it wasn’t a coincidence, and neither did half the other students in that class. Are you going to make them testify too?”
“Don’t deflect, Mr. Altieri.”
“I don’t understand how I’m deflecting. You asked me about a conversation I had with my classmates, and I answered.”
The video went back to the commentator, but you had goosebumps raised across your skin. You rewound back to the clip of Mickey’s testimony, staring at his face. Could he be a killer? Only a few days ago, you wouldn’t have even considered it. Now, you were down a rabbit hole that sent your mind reeling.
‘A lot of the prosecution’s evidence was dismissed as circumstantial by the defense. Mickey had alibis for all of the murders, even for the one Sidney claimed to witness him commit, allegedly shooting her boyfriend Derek. The chat room records and emails allegedly linked to Debbie and Mickey didn’t do much to convince the jury of Mickey’s alleged involvement in the murders. The records did positively identify Debbie based on the account’s password hints and her IP address. The other user was more tech savvy, changing IP addresses to make it more difficult to confirm an identity.
In move that was described as ‘sloppy’ and ‘desperate’ by the media following the trial’s conclusion, the prosecution also tried to claim that Mickey being the only other survivor among Sidney’s friends was suspicious and indicated his involvement, but the defense pointed out that Randy Meeks had also been the only other survivor of Sidney’s friend group in the original Woodsboro killings despite a gunshot wound like Mickey had, and later on at Windsor he was a victim. 
Randy Meeks’ murder actually played a huge role in the defense’s strategy. Several Windsor College students saw Mickey elsewhere on campus during Randy’s murder. The final nail in the coffin was when Windsor County police confirmed that DNA in the news van where Randy was murdered was a match for Debbie Loomis. The police retested other evidence, but couldn’t find anything conclusive.
After weeks of questioning and evidence, the jury deliberated for a little over five days before returning to the judge in a deadlock. Judge Matthews declared a mistrial, and less than a year later, a district court dismissed the case on lack of substantial evidence and all charges against Mickey Altieri were dropped. Despite media speculation that he would, Mickey chose not to sue Sidney and Gale for defamation and hasn’t been in the public eye since the controversial trial.’
You stared blankly at your TV screen when the video ended, another one auto-playing a few seconds later. Even after your drinks with Lee, you felt way too sober to even process any of it. For the next few hours, you devoured videos, bookmarked dozens of articles, and sifted through podcast episodes to listen to during work.
The odd case had made its home in the recesses of your mind. You dreamed about him when you finally fell asleep, just before sunrise. Sitting in the downtown Manhattan office, the open floor layout was unusually bright, fluorescent lighting washing the place in an eerie white glow. Mickey walked over to his desk, blood dripping from his fingers, splattering on the carpet in a trail leading right to him. He looked at you, a smile on his face as he brought his upright, bloody index finger to his lips. 
As the weekend flew by, you tried to keep yourself otherwise occupied. It wasn’t good for you to stay fixated on it, and certainly not fair to Mickey. 
Working from home on Monday helped, as you focused on finishing the last of the onboarding process. 
Tuesday was where things became tricky again. You sat on the forty-minute long subway ride to the office equipped with a podcast episode about your new coworker. The hosts didn’t seem to have much new information from what you took in the night before, except for the last few minutes of the episode where they’d gone off-script.
‘Last I saw online, he was living in Manhattan.’
‘Oh my god, that’s so Patrick Bateman-core.’
‘So you think he did it?’
‘It’s tough to say, like I totally get why the jury couldn’t come to a consensus.’
‘Yeah same, messy as hell. I tend to think that he didn’t do it. Innocent until proven guilty, ya know?’
‘I get that. We did try to get in touch with him for some kind of statement or even an interview—‘
‘Wishful thinking.’
‘Yeah, we looked for his email address, but I guess it wasn’t the right one because our message got bounced back, so that was a big fat bust.’
‘He’s like notorious for denying interview requests, anyway. I think he turned down book deals and stuff.’
Enraptured by the conversation, you nearly missed your stop. On the three block walk to your office, you hurriedly opened one of your playlists and put it on shuffle. The last thing you needed was for Mickey to somehow see on your home screen you’d just been listening to a podcast episode about him.
Your head was spinning by the time you got to your desk. He hadn’t arrived yet, and you felt a bit relieved that you had a little more time to psych yourself up. You shouldn’t have even had to do that in the first place, just be normal about your coworker, but if you learned anything over the weekend, even if he wasn’t guilty, he sure as hell wasn’t normal.
The elevator doors opened, and you looked up to see him walk out, waving at you.
“Morning, Y/N, have a good weekend?”
“Pretty good. I’m more broke than when it started, though. How about you?”
“Like I told you, hot date with Netflix,” he said, sitting down. “Thought you were sticking with shitty liquor?”
“I was, but my friend wasn’t. I got the tab, and she got plenty of margaritas.”
“Shit, I oughta get drinks with you sometime if you get all your friends’ tabs.”
You grinned. “Don’t count your luck.”
He chuckled to himself. The two of you worked in near silence for the next three hours, though you found yourself glancing over at him every so often, out of curiosity and also admiration. His graying hair suited him, and you could see the muscles in his arms from his casually rolled up shirt sleeves. 
Soon, though, you found it hard to stay awake, the light from your computer screen adding onto your fatigue. To your horror, you yawned loudly, catching Mickey’s attention.
“You alright? I’m not too boring, am I?”
“No, I just kept waking up last night. I feel like I barely slept.”
“Why don’t we take an early lunch and go get coffee?”
“That sounds great,” you said, grabbing your purse.
There was a deli right up the block, and when you looked at the small pastry case, you decided to order something with your coffee. Mickey placed his order, a hot coffee and a bear claw. With plenty of tables to choose from, you and Mickey sat near the window. 
Your coffee definitely hit the spot, and the sugar from your pastry helped wake you up too.
“How long’s your commute?” Mickey asked.
“About 40 minutes. I live in Brooklyn, kinda between Bushwick and Bed-Stuy.”
“Damn, that’s long. I live on the Upper West Side.”
You raised your eyebrows. “Wow. Before this job, I was barely able to afford to rent on my own.”
“It’s a rent-controlled building. I’m not making a ton after alimony and child support.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
He shrugged, though he looked out the window as he continued speaking. “It was a long time ago. Deanna and me just didn’t see eye-to-eye on a lot of stuff when our son was born. I knew before he even got to kindergarten it was over.”
Unsure of how to respond, you slowly reached across the table, putting your hand over his. “I’m sorry, Mickey, really.”
“You’re a sweet girl,” he said, giving your hand a slight squeeze before releasing it. “They live upstate, so I don’t see them much. I have more time for going to the movies and Mets games.”
“I only go when they’re bad because tickets are cheaper.”
He snickered. “I should take a page outta your book. How about you? Any sports? Or reading? Isn’t true crime pretty popular with young women now?”
Your heart pounded at his question. Innocuous enough. True crime was extremely popular. The paranoid part of you couldn’t help but feel like it was an accusation. Then again, he couldn’t possibly know you’d spent the weekend immersing yourself in it, particularly stuff about him.
“I’m not really interested in that,” you said. “Sometimes my friends and I go to trivia nights at bars. I’m not that good, but it’s fun to just hang out. I have a membership at the MOMA, so I go there a lot. They show movies sometimes, too.”
To your relief, the conversation shifted to just that, and Mickey seemed surprised by some of your opinions on different movies. He told you he’d originally gone to college for film studies, which you already knew, of course. The odd thing was, while you certainly didn’t want him aware of just how much you knew about him, you didn’t feel guilty for it, just that he would be weirded out by it, obviously.
You and Mickey ended up talking about movies for nearly an hour and a half, well over your allotted hour lunch break, but he assured you no one would care that much. Still, the two of you half-ran back to the office, and something bubbled in your chest when he sat down and smiled at you, the wrinkles by his eyes becoming more prominent. 
The rest of the workday went by quickly, and you headed to the library where you’d reserved the two books about the Windsor College murders and trial. By the time you got home, you’d already devoured the first two chapters of Gale Weathers’ book. Glad to be working remotely the following day, you let yourself stay up later than usual to read, getting to the halfway point before you could hardly keep your eyes open.
Weeks turned into months, and you absolutely loved your job, and the pay, but most of all, how the content you consumed and your proximity to Mickey seemed to feed into each other in a vicious cycle that increasingly drowned out the rational part of you that knew what you were doing was weird. 
Still, it wasn’t like you were invading his personal privacy or treating him any different than you did before. All of the information you’d read, listened to, or watched was all public as your running list of books, podcasts, and documentaries on the matter grew. You’d even rewatched the Stab movies and started scrolling through threads and tags related to Mickey and what happened at Windsor College. After all of the personal research you did and how much you’d gotten to know Mickey at work, you couldn’t conclusively say whether or not he did it. 
You tried keeping your obsession lowkey, but your friends seemed to notice how you’d shoehorn it into conversations. Lee had even told you she was afraid she’d created a monster by bringing up Mickey’s past in the first place. If she’d never made her comment or showed you that first article, you probably never would’ve known about it, remaining blissfully unaware and going about your business at your typical office job with your hot older coworker.
For how much time you spent at home between work and researching, it seemed like whenever you’d go out, you’d come home to something missing or moved. Articles of clothing gone, coffee mugs out of place, books not quite in the order you’d left them. At first, you chalked it up to your consuming too much true crime content, feeding into your paranoia, but when you asked your landlord to install another lock on your door, it all seemed to stop. That didn’t bode well with you.
Your fantasies blended with reality in your dreams, as you were having increasing occurrences of Ghostface or Mickey, or both, in them. Whenever you woke up, you didn’t remember much except for a warm feeling in your core. One dream remained vivid even after you awoke, though.
You were in your apartment alone, late at night, when you got a call from an unknown number. Normally, you didn’t pick up calls unless you were expecting them, but for some reason you picked up. The details of the phone call itself were jumbled, but you were frightened, running into your bedroom and locking the door behind you. 
To your horror, you’d locked yourself in with Ghostface, the looming predator who looked at you emotionlessly, stalking toward you with his knife. When you turned around, the door knob was gone, and a black gloved hand grabbed your shoulder, moving you to face him as he pushed you against the door. He sliced through your slinky pajama top, exposing your breasts to him. Roughly groping each of them, he let out a low moan in appreciation before bringing the knife to your collarbone, dragging the blade to the valley between your breasts. Your breath hitched as he pressed it a bit deeper, but instead, you felt it in your pussy, like he was penetrating you.
“Give me a kiss, sweetheart,” your masked assailant ordered in a distorted voice.
Slowly, you leaned in, pressing your lips against the cold, hard plastic mask. You gasped as he dug the knife into your skin with one hand, his other slipping under your panties, pushing his fingers between your folds.
“I own you,” he said, clearly in Mickey’s voice this time.
You threw your head back in ecstasy as he pushed his fingers into your tight cunt, and then your alarm blared, jolting you awake. Turning over, you groaned into your pillow in frustration. At least it ended up being great masturbation material later on.
Another Thursday at work, seemingly uneventful as usual. You and Mickey had gotten into the habit of getting lunch together whenever you both were in the office. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but as time went on, they felt more like dates than just a casual lunch with a coworker. Not that you were complaining.
“Got any plans for the weekend?” he asked in the nearby deli the two of you had begun to frequent.
“No, not really.”
“Do you wanna come over after work tomorrow? Watch a movie or something?” he asked.
“That’d be great!” you said, almost a bit too enthusiastically. “Should I bring anything?”
He shook his head, smiling a bit. “I can order a pizza.”
For some reason, you trusted yourself to be normal at his place, telling yourself throughout Friday that everything would work out fine. Being a weirdo about his alleged murders certainly wouldn’t help you get a real date with him, but your infatuation with him was only growing. You liked the slightest hint of danger about him, going to his apartment alone, wondering in the back of your mind what his true intentions were and feeling a bit of a thrill at the prospect that they could be anything less than innocent.
You showed up at his apartment that evening with a bottle of wine in hand, even though he’d told you not to bring anything. As expected, he thanked you for the wine, though he gave you an exasperated look as he let you into his apartment. Nicer than yours, but it still looked lived-in.
“Pizza will be here in a couple of minutes,” he said. “I’m thinking Mean Streets for the movie.”
“It’s a classic,” you agreed. “I love Harvey Keitel in it.”
“You know, that was De Niro and Scorsese’s first time working together.”
“Wait, why did I think Taxi Driver was first?”
“Came out in ‘76, just after he was in Godfather Part II in ‘74. Busy decade for him.”
“You’re telling me.”
The doorbell rang, the pizza arriving sooner than expected. You waited in the kitchen while Mickey dealt with the delivery.
“We can eat in the living room while we watch,” he said, carrying the pizza box inside. “I don’t have many people over, so it’s still a little messy.”
“That’s okay,” you assured him.
He put on the movie, and you balanced the paper plate on your lap, nodding along to “Be My Baby” as it played during the opening scene. Testing the waters, you scooted closer to him a few minutes into the movie. He glanced over at you, and you could’ve sworn you saw the faintest hint of a smile on his face. 
You were especially pleased when he put his arm around you, not bothering with the pretense of a “move,” but rather taking what he wanted. Settling comfortably next to him, you tried to focus on the movie.
Despite his arm around your shoulders, closer physically to him than you ever had been, you felt restless. You knew when the halfway point of the movie was, and so you excused yourself to use the bathroom, telling him he didn’t need to pause it until you returned.
The tips of your fingers itched as you passed closed doors to the bathroom, which he told you was at the end of the hall. Biting your lip, you considered your options, and in a moment of impulse and weakness, you reached for one of the door handles. A mostly empty extra bedroom, maybe his son’s old room. 
You weren’t deterred, opening another door. Jackpot. Slightly messy, with clothes strewn about the floor and on the dark sheets of his bed. Glancing behind you, you stepped into his room and looked around for anything that stood out. 
Most people hid things under their beds, and so you got down on your hands and knees, wondering where exactly he might hide his—
“Don’t think this is the bathroom,” he said, startling you.
You yelped, frantically turning around as your brain short circuited for an explanation. “I—I was just—“
“Looking for trophies? All serial killers keep them, right?” he asked, towering over you from your spot on the floor. “Mementos of their victims or the kills.”
You shook your head frantically. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have been snooping.”
“No, you shouldn’t have, but you’re looking in the wrong place anyway,” he said, pulling the knife from behind his back.
“Serial killers also don’t—don’t kill people th-they know,” you stammered.
“Typically,” he agreed, “but I’m not typical, am I? I’m sure you’ve listened to plenty of those cute little podcasts where some dumbasses read the Wikipedia page about the Windsor College murders in between hawking security systems to their listeners that they’ve just scared shitless. I admitted I did it, went to fucking trial, and the jury couldn’t even find me guilty.”
“Point taken.”
“So, what trophy would I keep from you?”
You were silent for a moment before answering, looking him in the eye. “My panties.”
“Which pair? Figure I have at least five of them now. Unless you wanna make that six, sweetheart.”
“You’ve been breaking into my place all this time.”
“You made it way too easy. It’s like you were asking for it.”
Maybe you were. Regardless, you didn’t show any resistance when he lightly kicked at your leg, a silent command to stand up. You got to your feet, though your gaze was fixed on the knife in his hand. His eyes followed yours, and he smirked a bit before putting the knife aside.
He turned you around, pushing you back onto his bed. Your breath caught in your throat as he pushed your skirt up, his hand caressing your ass, fingers brushing the thin fabric of your panties.
“Were you asking for it, sweetheart? Have you wanted this all along? Been a bad girl to get my attention?”
“Yes,” you whimpered weakly, your pussy clenching around nothing.
“Y’know, I’ve heard of serial killers having groupies, but you,” he said, slapping your ass for emphasis, eliciting a moan from you, “are something else.”
“Fuck, daddy,” you whispered, fidgeting against his mattress.
“I’m disappointed in you.” Another smack on your ass. “I could’ve been having fun with you months ago.” Smack! You hissed this time, though your pussy was pulsing between your legs. “Bent you over my desk in the office, have my way with you while no one else is around—or maybe a little slut like you would wanna get caught with daddy’s dick buried inside her.”
He spanked you harder this time, holding you down when your body instinctively recoiled at the impact. A pained moan escaped your lips as he pressed his body weight against you, his clothed cock rubbing against your tender skin. Tears welled up in your eyes as the sensation, and you resisted the urge to slip your hand between your legs.
“Or maybe,” he said, reaching around you to wrap his hand around your neck, “you just want me to fuck you before I kill you. Probably cum the minute I put that old Ghostface mask on, huh, baby?”
You let out a strangled moan at his words. “Yes, daddy.”
He released his grip on your throat, standing up to give you one more slap across your ass. “Turn over. If you’re good for me, maybe I’ll give you what you want.”
The friction from his sheets stung against your sore ass as you rolled over to look at him, though he grabbed you, pushing you onto your back himself. His grip on you was tight, fingers digging into your arms as he held you down beneath him, completely at his mercy.
He pulled off your skirt and panties, leaving your pussy exposed for him. He dragged his index finger between your folds, and you whimpered when he brushed your clit.
“God, you’re soaked,” he murmured against your lips. “Was it the spanking, or is it the serial killer thing?”
“Both.”
“Good answer,” he said, lazily circling your clit with his finger. 
He ducked his head down, wasting no time in devouring your wet cunt. His tongue relentlessly flicked at your clit while he slid two fingers inside you, pumping them in and out of your hole. You took them easily, but wondered if it’d be the same for his cock when he’d undoubtedly fuck you. 
Your hands gripped his sheets as he worked his tongue, your feet curling at the tension you felt building up inside of you. He moaned against you, loud enough that it felt like his voice rocked through your body. 
“Don’t stop,” you pleaded breathlessly.
A pained and outraged whine pulled from your throat when he did just that. You looked down at him between your legs, betrayed.
“Why should I let you cum?” he teased, rubbing light circles in your clit with his soaked fingers. “You’ve been a bad girl.”
“Oh fuck,” you moaned. “Please, daddy.”
“You can do better than that, sweetheart.”
“Please let me cum, daddy. I’ll be so good. I—I’ll do anything, just—please,” you cried out in frustration of being so close yet not quite there.
“Only since you asked so nicely,” he relented, dipping his head back down between your legs, his hands holding your hips in place as your lower half began to quiver at his touch.
You could feel his lips move slightly against your sensitive pussy, nothing short of a smug expression on his face at making you fall apart so easily. It didn’t matter, your head was swimming, muscles strained as he brought you closer to climax. Grabbing his hair, you pressed his face closer against your pussy, grinding against it in desperation. 
“Mickey—Fuck—“ you choked out as your orgasm wracked through you, fireworks in between your legs as your body shook. 
He ate you out through your orgasm, and another tidal wave of pleasure hit you all at once, almost painful and overwhelming, your brain on fire at the sensation. You could hardly catch your breath when you released your grip from his hair and he lifted his head, your wetness glistening on his lips.
When he kissed you, you hardly had the strength to kiss him back, though tasting yourself on his mouth sent a rush through you. He pressed sloppy kisses to your face, trailing down to your neck. His hard length rubbed against your slick-coated thigh, a low growl coming from deep in his throat.
“W-Wait, can I ask you something?”
“Shoot,” he mumbled against your skin.
“Did you really wanna get caught?”
He stopped, lifting his head from your neck to look at you a few moments before answering, “Yeah, blame the movies, make a real circus of the trial, but my attorney said he didn’t think I could pull off an insanity plea because I was too put together. Obviously pleading guilty and confessing everything wouldn’t get nearly as much attention as actually going on trial. I was pissed at first, but it worked out, I mean I had every reporter eating out of the palm of my hand by day three.”
“Why don’t you do interviews now? Or write a book?”
“What’s there to say? Not the truth.”
“I guess that makes sense,” you muttered. “Are you gonna kill me?”
“Probably should,” he said, the slightest smirk ghosting his lips as his eyes raked over you, “I might need more convincing not to.”
249 notes · View notes
redleavesinthewind · 4 months
Text
elliot's 2023 fic wrap up
2022 version
alright friends it is once again time for me to review the (many) fics i read in the previous year and try to write a more or less concise rec list of my absolute faves (i wish i didn't have to chose but heh i'm not gonna subject anyone to 332 fics in 1 post - also wait only 332 fics? that's like. over 100 less than last year, what the fuck. anyway)
okay now first the part that interests no one but me (yes you may skip this) and that's the numbers part! i'm not making a whole elaborate spreadsheet to then not throw around cool numbers. anyway.
i've read around 4,932k words in 332 fics across 18 fandoms. that is much less than last year, and yeah, i've been generally less productive in 2023 but we don't have to talk about it. at least i have more variety of fandoms this time (let's ignore that it's only 2 more and also that from fandom 13 on there's only 1 fic per fandom)
i started out the year strong with 847k words across 72 fic in february (followed by 753k across 42 fics in january, and 621k words across 63 fics in march). it goes downhill for the rest of the year. eh it wasn't my year so what! 2024 is gonna be more filled with fic reading again!!!
my top 3 fandoms are so entirely unsurprising to me i am almost disappointed in myself. when did i become so predictable. top fandom is young royals with 166 fics! congratulations young royals, you are a very persistent hyperfixation, you didn't peter out after 2 months like i expected. Spot number 2 is taken by avatar the last airbender with 41 fics! giant leap there, but it's also funny because i fell into an atla rabbit hole late 2023 (as i do every few years) and it still got up to 41 fics despite uni not allowing me to read last semester (uni is evil). Same as last year, spn takes third place with 38 fics. speaking of persistent hyperfixations.......... *big sigh*
and that is it the boring part is over let's go to the fun section LET'S REC SOME FIIIIIICCCCSSSSSSS (under the cut)
JANUARY
bet you you'll ... (noraverse) (series) by @gh0sthugs | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 52k words
a kid fic!! and such a sweet one too! i'm kinda weak for kid fics ngl, and nora is so sweet and wonderful, and the relationship that slowly forms between wille and simon is beautiful and comfortable. this whole series is just such a good time
spreadsheet notes: ah to fall in love with the dilf next door who also happens to be the ex crown prince of the country
A Royal Intervention by AnxiousAnaconda | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 18k words
erik is being such a dumbass in this one. like, he means well, but he's kinda messing up and pissing people off (understandably). it's nice to get a view on erik that's not portraying him as this perfect guy though, and the fic is actually so much fun to read. and hey, the prime minister of luxembourg gets mentioned, which i was kinda waiting for in yr fic ngl
spreadsheet notes: big sigh... erik you fucking idiot. stop listening to august. also shoutout to xavier bettel apparently (edit: this aged poorly, fuck xavier bettel)
and each slow dusk by @if-fortunate | young royals, wilmon | mature | 49k words
okay. ooookay how do i even begin with this one. ohhh boy. okay. so. world war three. wille gets stuck in bjärstad with simon, many many things happen, it's about finding hope in a horrible situation and trying to live life despite everything falling apart around you. it's incredibly well written and something about it just has me in awe
spreadsheet notes: i don't know what it says about me that this is without a shadow of a doubt the best fic i have ever read in my life
Put Me Back Together and Take My Heart by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 50k words
i once again don't know what to say, this one is sooo good. simon is suffering and both wille and i hate it, but... but wille is there for him and ugh, they just... they just can't be apart. a story of reconciliation and healing from both physical and invisible wounds, and of making the right decisions for yourself
spreadsheet notes: ugh. UGH. my guys. MY GUYS. yeah let's go blackmail the queen
Department Six by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf | gen | 4k words
a fun short one about stiles and danny working for the fbi and being delightfully weird and mysterious
spreadsheet notes: HILARIOUS i'm in love with outsider pov always
FEBRUARY
There Are No Wolves in California by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf, sterek | gen | 5k words
you know, sometimes you see a fic you know is going to hurt you, and you've never clicked on anything faster. this is definitely one of those fics
spreadsheet notes: let's be wolves today yeah well derek what if i just break down and cry instead
you got my body, i got your body by @prince-simon | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 9k words
this one's technically part of a bigger series (which, definitely read that one too), but i'm highlighting this one cause... damn... this made me feel things... like, gender things... which is really weird cause wille's gender in this is very much different from mine BUT STILL
spreadsheet notes: how almost 9k of pwp gave me so many gender feelings i will never understand
Changing Channels: Queer Premiere by @emeraldcas, @fellshish | spn, deancas | gen | 27k words
this might actually be one of the funniest fics i've ever read. dean and cas are so stupid (affectionately) and all the crossovers are delightful (bonus that i knew all the other shows). everyone go read this it's gonna be the best time
spreadsheet notes: mel and fells have genuinely outdone themselves this is the most hilarious shit i've ever read
Catalyst by @stretchoutfics | young royals | teen&up | 3k words
a backstory for boris! this fic is within a series of other side character ficlets, but this one has a soft spot in my heart
spreadsheet notes: AAAAHHHH HE KNEW ABOUT THE RECKLESS DRIVING BUT DIDN'T BRING IT UP but also... him being a gay man trying to help the queer crown prince navigate his sexuality that's kinda nice actually, like boris understands at least a bit
The most beautiful boy by lovelysarcastic | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 88k words
there's something incredibly grounding about this fic. the way it develops, the way wille rationalises his thought processes, the way the relationship between wille and simon develops... this fic just kinda sucked me in and spit me out again feeling... content and calm and... it's just... this fic is so beautiful
spreadsheet notes: dude i love this so much??? they're both so stupid??? i love them???
MARCH
All's Fair in Love and Hunting by @badjoices | spn, deancas | mature | 20k words
they're playing gay chicken but also are being incredibly competitive and stupid about it, and i'm just sorry about the shit sam has to witness. so many shenanigans in this fic
spreadsheet notes: they are both so stupid omg
["mi cotufita" started sharing their screen] by @omar-rudeberg | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 60k
so... this is a follow up to one of my favourite fics and it is a delight. very horny but also very sweet? and also for some reason there's porn. fun times! oh, and this fic made me cry. it really has the range
spreadsheet notes: how are they so horny it's so funnyyyyyy, but also if i were wille i could never look linda in the eyes again
A Light To Guide You In The Dark (Warmed By The Fire's Glow) by 80shairmetal | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 19k words
this is just... people taking care of each other out of the kindness of their hearts. finding comfort in strangers who become family. growing and helping each other. there's such a beauty to this one
spreadsheet notes: this is just..... comfort
did you see the love in my eyes, oh were you gazing through this disguise? by @tooindecisivetopickaurl | young royals, wilmon | mature | 67k words
fake dating my beloved. they're so in love with each other but they're pretending not to be while pretending... to be? i'm obsessed with them. but they're so respectful with each other and cautious of boundaries and they really are best friends who also happen to be obliviously in love
spreadsheet notes: love a good fake dating au they're so stupid i love them
flash like a setting sun by @playedwright | 911, buddie | explicit | 22k words
because you only realise you're in love with your best friend when you're scared you're losing him. that's the fic. and it's beautiful
spreadsheet notes: oh this is sooooo beautifully written and ugh just <333
Other people's secrets by @sflow-er | young royals, walty & wilmon | mature | 239k words
yooooo hello? so first off this is an outsider pov on wilmon which i am always obsessed with anyways but the focus isn't just on them, this is henry's story. it's a beautiful story about how friendships form and warp and change, how feelings manifest in different ways, how decisions and actions have consequences. it's an incredibly mature take on post-s1, and it's probably my favourite of the year. also ace representation!!!!
spreadsheet notes: ace henry my beloved <33 also love seeing wilmon from an outside perspective! such a good, well thought out fic with lots of healthy comminication <33
APRIL
if i stare too long by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringroveson | explicit | 191k words
i haven't seen st s4 (and probably won't watch it) but that definitely won't stop me from reading harringroveson fic. i mean, who wouldn't look at those three and immediately want to see them together. the way their dynamic is written in this fic is peak, i don't even know what more to say. i also very much trust these authors with billy, and again i wasn't disappointed. there's just something in his head that's intriguing.
spreadsheet notes: this whole fic is such a vibe it makes me feel of hot summer chillin
MAY
Rewrite the Stars (series) by @in-amor-veritas | young royals, wilmon | mature | 137k words
definitely one of the highlights of the year, simon's whole life in new york... those scenes, they just show such a wonderful life simon has built for himself, and his relationship with wille doesn't change it, but he manages to fit in (after, you know, fun rom-com drama shenanigans). also. this is a kid fic. kid fics are my weak spot. rasmus is my new favourite little guy. also shoutout to luis best side character ever
spreadsheet notes: YELLING i love this fic sooo much it is everything
Where The Wind Will Carry Me by @1-life-to-give | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 49k words
AND THEY WERE ACTORS PLAYING LOVE INTERESTS. do i have to say more? the tension guys the TENSION. also erik's side-plot i'm in love
spreadsheet notes: hopping up and down like a hyperactive chihuahua EN I LOVE THIS
Your love is my turning page (the t4t wilmon as girldads au) (series) by @willesworld | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 17k words
i know i know another kid fic BUT!!!! t4t wilmon. makes it automatically superior. i'm not even kidding, add trans characters and i will like your fic (that i probably already like a lot) aroun 300000000 times more. but also this series comes for your feelings. it hits
spreadsheet notes: i am weak for t4t wilmon AND them having a biological child there's something so beautiful about it like that could be meeee ; siiimon i need to hug him and i need to hug wille they're gonna get out of this i prommy ; recovery and one step forwards a hundred steps back, but they made it there in the end ; they were so happy :((((
JUNE
A trace of dew by nuncflore | elden ring, this is too complicated | gen | 13k words
very elden ring-esque writing style, wonderful representation of whatever the hell is going on in the lore. hehehehehhe fucked up family ehhehehehe DIVORCE. my friends are so talented :))
spreadsheet notes: CAP I AM EATING YOU
Hanging from the Ceiling by @spicymiilk | spiderverse | teen&up | 6k words
for like. a week after i saw the new spiderverse movie i made miles 42 my entire life. that also meant reading this fic. and damn did this fic hit. i am still thinking about it
spreadsheet notes: i need more miles 42 content he is my favourite guy ever
The Darkest Little Paradise by @yourdemiurge | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 79k words
*holding you at gunpoint* read this fic. read it now, in this moment. you are not gonna regret it. believe me when i say you NEED this fic, you really do. doesn't even matter if you've seen yr or not. you're gonna thank me later
spreadsheet notes: THIS IS INSANE I CAN'T BREATHE MADY WHAT THE FUUUUUCK
JULY
Protected (series) by bastuba | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 69k words
hey do you ever read a fic and you just feel. so incredibly grounded because something about the characters feels grounded? like, they aren't grounded, but they still give off that vibe? idk how to explain this properly but that's this fic. also wille and simon cook together (i haven't read all parts of the series yet btw)
spreadsheet notes: incredibly grounded very mature how is wille like this ; i'd be like wille, always complaining about the heat ; they're soooooo. idiots. getting tattoos for each other ; i too would come out on a podcast about food ; SAFE SEX
AUGUST
The Season of Rebirth by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 30k words
part of a series, but i'm picking out this one specifically because it's soooo sweet!!! the title fits the fic so well, like yes it is the season of rebirth, but simon and wille's relationship is also rehashed in a very cool way, this fic is like one giant easter egg, i love it so much!
spreadsheet notes: wille taking the season of rebirth to recreate their early relationship, i am obsessed with him he's such a dumbass romantic
The Upgrade by @groenendaelfic | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 13k words
it's about the moment simon realises who wille is. that's why this fic is here. i mean of course also because it is very good, but mainly because of that moment
spreadsheet notes: the moment simon realised who wille is i am wheezing
Right Where You Left Me by @armandgender | spn, deancas | explicit | 94k words
if you're wondering why this fic is on my 2023 list instead of the 2022 list.... well that's because it took me almost a year to read the last chapter, and in terms of how my spreadsheet works, that makes it a fic i read in 2023. anyway. if you haven't read this fic yet, what are you even still doing here. click on that link right now. you want complex emotional situations? intricacies of ill-advised marriages? you wanna pick through abusive behaviour and encourage infidelity? well you're at the right place! also this has one of my favourite jack characterisations ever. it also made me go on multiple rants
spreadsheet notes: I FINALLY FINISHED IT AAAAHHHH I LOVE THIS FIC THE CABIN THE CATS JACK!!!!!
Alejito y Marimar (series) by th0ughts | red, white, and royal blue | teen&up | 18k words
OBSESSED WITH THIS DYNAMIC YOOOOOO. seriously the friendship between alex and martha is an expansion of the rwrb universe that is much needed, trust me
spreadsheet notes: the friendship i didn't know i needed in my life <333 ; they're just chillin!!!
SEPTEMBER
Change of Address (series) by hearmerory | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 134k words
okay. oooookay. strap in for this one, it is a lot. emotionally. like yes zuko is autistic, yes yes yeeees, i agree, also azula is treated like an actual person with actual mental issues, she deserves to be treated with care and this author definitely does that! this is the kind of series that makes me want to disappear in it, but it's also the kind of story i need breaks from, because it is so heavy (definitely check the tags for this one). zuko's relationship with sokka is written so thoughtfully and iroh is characterised incredibly and the author even included ursa in a way that didn't undermine everything that happened in the series before she appeared again. i can only recommend this one!
spreadsheet notes (there's lots of parts to the series, so this one is long): hhhh if i were ms jamieson i would have snapped after two days probably ; be nice katara!!!!! he's nervous ; i need to murder ozai ; and i need to murder zhao as well ; iroooohhhhh he should have just. taken the kids with him that first time he noticed something off ; yeah i think there was a reason why iroh never took zuko to the movies ; ozai needs to suffer ; i need to destroy ozai. violently and painfully ; iroh is the best uncle ever, zuko deserves all his kindness ; azula...... you don't have to fight for affection, it's not a competition..... they love you ; iroh should have taken her with him the first time around, she was like. 10, he could have just picked her up or sth ; ..... hakoda you idiot ; IROH BACKSTORY IROH BACKSTORY ; sokka and the plan that changed his life <3333 ; they are so soft with each other ; they all deserve all the therapy and support and yes sokka obviously you have adhd get with the program ; URSA??????? also i am living for sokka and azula's dynamic they are everything ; i don't. i don't understand her. i don't fucking understand her how could she not want her own children. how can she talk about them like that. like she knows them she doesn't know them she LEFT
Every night my teeth are falling out by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 9k words
i was in need of some good zuko angst and oooohhh boy was i lucky to find this author. PEAK zuko angst. this fic in particular is very dear to me because it explores how mental illnesses would be handled in a world where there's practically no resources to help. i think we need that more
spreadsheet notes: yes well. how DO you deal with a schizophrenic fire lord in a fantasy world? (you stay with him and support him that is how)
OCTOBER
for years or for hours by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 52k words
listennn i love myself some good polyamory fics, and this is the first fic i read for this ship and now i am OBSESSED with them. but this fic in particular.... the concept alone, like. what do you do when you thought the man you love was dead for 800 years, and then when he comes back you have another man you love. the answer is simple. polyamory. the two men you love also love each other. perfect coincidence.
spreadsheet notes: YO the concepts of witchers in modern times alone is sooo cool but adding in everything else? hello yes?
this is a love story by @achillestiel | supernatural, deancas | mature | 3k words
listen, i've never seen fleabag, but that's not the point. this is intriguing and funny, that's the point
spreadsheet notes: fucked up families and you want to fuck the priest hell yeah
The road not taken looks real good now by @stretchoutfics | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 90k words
it's not even the wilmon part i love about this fic (i very much enjoy it of course don't get me wrong) but wille and his kids. like, i don't want to spoil anything but like. wille's interactions with his kids are so important in this fic, and they're written so well. like, emilia is my favourite character in this, i kinda wish there was more with the kids honestly. this fic is definitely a highlight of the year, and to get back to wilmon, i do love how they're portrayed in this fic, how their dynamic plays out, and specifically how certain decisions do not depend on simon
spreadsheet notes: no but. the care put into this story. i can't--
NOVEMBER
Averno (series) by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 12k words
a fascinating take on a fire lord zuko that was never part of the gaang
spreadsheet notes: HE JUST DESERVES KINDNESS but also he's a little fucked up WELL NO WONDER GIVE HIM KINDNESS ; i mean.... what makes a monster really ; well then let's get him out of his cell shall we (also hiiiii suki hello <3333)
Half Awake in Our Fake Empire by @hmslusitania | 9-1-1, buddie | teen&up | 34k words
another kid fic!!! but in a different fandom this time!!! seriously, giving buck a child fills so many of my life's needs it's ridiculous
spreadsheet notes: THEY'RE A FAMILY (thank you for giving that man a child)
a soldier (who carries a mighty sword) by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 92k words
everything about this fic is wonderful!! the world(kaer morhen!!)building, the developing dynamic between geralt, jask, and eskel, ciri and yenn, the conflict, jask as a teacher!!!! aaahhhhh!
spreadsheet notes: they're my new favourite guyssss this whole fic is so cool, what they've done with kaer morhen <3333
Will We Last the Night by CSHfic & VSfic | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | teen&up | 143k words
this fic asks what if sokka had been stuck with zuko since the end of s1 and delivers a delightful answer. this is the adventures of zuko and sokka (and sometimes iroh) travelling through the earth kingdom. shenanigans ensue
spreadsheet notes: i am obsessed with this i'm just. i know it was only shortly but their life in ba sing se. obsessed
DECEMBER
Grudge Match by @catcas22 | elden ring | gen | 17k words
i'm not entirely sure how to explain this. it sure is an elden ring fic
spreadsheet notes: i don't even know what to say. this is ridiculous and brilliant and stupid and genius all at the same time. hell yeah suburban demigods
Lonely Digging by @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 3k words
this is hilarious. go read it to unlock intense life-threatening flirting
spreadsheet notes: best way to flirt billy's doing everything right
***
(quick note: i’ve tried to find everyone’s tumblr handle, but i’m aware that not all the authors have tumblr/have it on their ao3, however if i somehow missed someone, i can go back and rectify that!)
if you’ve made it all the way down here i am giving you a kiss <3
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blneobin · 4 months
Text
10 BL boys I want carnally <3
Much much love to @ayansbff for tagging me!! I hope you know what you’re in for cause tagging me in a post to simp?? ok! I have a reason to SCREAM about these men who made me question my asexuality.
Mantrisanu - Jeng (Step by Step)
nobody but my acemate (@mooniyuta) knows just how obsessed I was with Mantrisanu during the Step by Step era. When I tell ya I forgot I was ace as soon as I saw his giant 1.90m ass on screen.. I forgot I was even a person. I am a squirrel needing to climb a tree. WOW! just WOW!! Step by Step? No! Step On Me.
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Jam Rachata - Tinn/Jiu (Laws Of Attaction/To Sir With Love)
just Jam Rachata in general. He’s just a few years older than me but I will call him Daddy. When I saw him in Laws of Attraction I was intrigued then I stayed for the plot then I got hooked with their chemistry. Lucky for me I’ve never watched To Sir With Love before, so I did… and I can hear the wedding bells ringing as soon as I saw how his hunky meaty goodness handle that rusted half scissors turned murder weapon.
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First Kanaphan - Alan/Sand (Moonlight Chicken/Only Friends)
I’ve been salivating for this man since Not Me. I suffered through The Shipper for this man. It’s not just his beautiful handsome gorgeous self that does it for me, its also his charm. Like he’s so charming and has this aura about him that’s just warm and homey. His smile is like the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. His eyes are just so sparkly and beautiful, if I ever meet him irl I’d probably trip over myself getting lost in them. I understand Khaotung not wanting to share him with anyone because I would do the same.
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Bright - Yai (I Feel You Linger In The Air)
He’s so handsome I can cry. This man is like Jam x2. Like he has such a perfect face for male lead in romance genre. Where has he been all my life?? Maybe its Yai the character that feeds my deluluism, but when General Yai popped up in ifylita with a freakin porn stache and I wasn’t immidiately appalled, I knew I was a goner.
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Neo - Boston (Only Friends)
Neo has always been cute to me. Catches my eye in every series he’s in but then Only Friends happened AND I WAS FLOORED!!! It was like ya know when you enter your teen years and that cute person you’ve grown up with had a growth spurt and you’re like daaaang when did you get hot 👀 Yeah that’s me with Neo.
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Ohm Pawat - Pat (Bad Buddy)
specifically Ohm as Pat cause he was chunky and meaty and oof his arms were distracting as fuck. Anytime he showed up with that damn tank top I was like pls may I bite. He’s just so *feral animalistic growling* I personally love a man whos chunky meaty mucles and looks like they can lift me. AND HIS SMILE??? HIS TWINKLING EYED SMILE?!?!?!?! I’m gone. what a baaaabe!!!
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Try imagining? alrighty if you say so 😚
Keita Machida - Kurosawa (Cherry Magic)
I remember watching cherry magic for the first time in 2020 and I was in awe. He is so dreamy and handsome. I hate to say it again guys but.. his smile!! Like I’m obsessed with him!! Both me and bestie screamed when we saw him in Alice In Borderland (overgrown blondie with roots showing and he is messy and he smokes and I was barely breathing) and then scream cried when his head EXPLODED!?!?!?!) Anyway, I’d marry this guy. like legit.
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Earth Pirapat - Jim (Moonlight Chicken)
I am not done with the young dilfs. I have no other words other than !! HIM !! like I would need to make a seperate Earth appreciation post to start talking about him. This post is getting too long anyway so I’m gonna not say much here but.. just know I would drop everything for him.
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Papang - Gumpa (Not Me)
my need for Papang to suffocate me in his tiddies arms is like my human need to eat to keep myself sustained. He just looks like the best recharging station. That doesn’t make sense but it makes sense.
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Even going through the gif list to choose a Papang gif gave my tummy flips
Bosston Suphadach - Pruk (Between Us)
THERE’S A NEWBIE ON MY LIST WOO!!! I feel like because he hasnt been here long and has only played sub-minor parts, people forgot about him .. BUT I. DID. NOT. <3 Did you see him in between us alongside Sammy?? Yes. I too would be purposefully tripping in front of him so that he can hold me in his big strong arms. Also him and the doctor in Be My Favourite?? SIIIIICKKK!!!! Let’s just say I’m excited to watch their spinoff next year ✨
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I’ve got a few more but these men are mainly the ones that I need to have. In conclusion, Big Guy, Big Arms, Big Smiles. Love them, Love Him.
thank you lovely gif makers @zhivchik @mushiemadarame @rayandgay @wanderlust-in-my-soul @kiyosuku @warmday @sunsetandthemoon @bunnakit @daikunart and lovely moots @dramalets @drama-nonsense @mooniyuta @mooninagust @these-emo-thoughts @sparklyeyedhimbo @khaotungsfirst @blue-grama @absolutebl @troubled-mind who enable this obsession.
24 notes · View notes
phlegmykins · 1 year
Note
I fuggin', just
✨Alpha Dave/John Crocker✨
I have a private imgur gallery full of all my favorite pictures of D and Karkat's BAZOONGOS have also made the list in all thank you very much,,
Also Just Thonkin' abt some Alpha Dave/John Crocker where he sorta became like part of the corporation and they met up after a few years (peak dilf moments, 35 is what i usually go for,) also I once had an RP where John was a poster boy and had to like, model for advertisements, and it was a "late night" specialty cake recipe or something anyways his bowtie was undone and the top four buttons were also open, (Man throws around bags of flour, he's got nice shoulders and general strong/soft action, #MenWithTittiesAppreciation) in case you need any inspiration, just.. love you,, have a good day
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I, too, am thonkimg.
96 notes · View notes
abbatoirablaze · 9 months
Text
Ex Wive's Club, Chapter 17
Word Count: 2.3k
Warnings: slight angst, implied smut/implied unprotected sex
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“Alright big guy…you need to relax…” Ari grunted from his spot at the counter.  Britt frowned and walked over to her husband, “hey…be happy for Maya, daddy bear…your little girl is bringing home the new guy in her life…she wants you to meet him…this is big for her.  You know how she is…this is good news, Ari.”
“I didn’t like it any time Nia brought a new guy around,” he grumbled grumpily as his wife cradled his face in her small hands, “the same goes for Maya…we were just finding our footing in our relationship and now here she comes with some…new guy…it just…it bothers me.  It’s too soon.  She just started to finally forgive herself for her mom running off with her.  She-”
“Maya is a grown woman, Ari,” she reminded him sweetly.  She leaned in, placing a soft kiss to his nose before brushing her own nose lovingly against his, “I know you want Maya to be happy, Ari bear…just like you want Nia to be happy…and just like you want our children to grow up and be happy…”
“More than anything…”
“Then give this guy a fighting chance, yeah?” she asked, “if she’s that comfortable in the relationship where she wants to bring him around you, it must mean something.  Right?”
“He’s got a kid!” Ari said defensively.
“Hmm,” she hummed, sliding into his lap, “I happen to remember a sexy dilf that I bagged once…he’d had two kids by the time we got together…and then he ended up putting three more into me.”
“Your dad nearly bashed my brains in when we got together,” he reminded his wife, “you thinking I should take the same approach with this guy?”
“In his defense…we started fooling around before I was entirely legal…” she replied, “Maya is well over the age of eighteen.”
“This isn’t helping my anxiety!” he admitted with a huff after a few moments. 
Britt sighed once more, “Ari…Maya is a smart, independent woman.  She’s gone through years of therapy after you and her mother split…she developed a great relationship with us…she loves our babies and is a great big sister to them.  She’s an amazing auntie to Nia’s daughter, and she just wants the same happiness that the rest of us have…she works hard…she wouldn’t make a stupid decision…just have a little faith Neshama…”
Ari’s arms wrapped around his wife’s waist, and he nodded, “you’re right…Maya is a smart girl.  I-I trust her.”
“Good…her and her boyfriend are going to be here for dinner with Nia, Sam, and their daughter.”
Ari’s eyes met his wife’s own as his brow furrowed, “Nia met the boyfriend already?”
“Yep,” she teased as she slid off his lap, “now…the kids are down for their nap…and there’s one thing that’s been at the top of my to-do list since you slipped out of bed this morning.  And he happens to be a very sexy dilf with five children of his own…so our time is a little limited.”
“You little minx,” Ari growled, his attention now focused on his wife who was retreating towards their bedroom, “you know just how to get to me.”
“Looking for ways to relax…”
“Well, that’s one way to relax.”
“Well come on then, stud!” she teased as she ran towards their bedroom, “Catch me if you can.”
“Oh…when I catch you…just you wait, Brittany Levinson…we’ll have another little cub running around before you know it!”
“Ari Levinson!” his wife squealed, now running wholeheartedly towards their bedroom, “you’re using a condom!”
“Not if I catch you first, I’m not!”
Ari should have been in the perfect mood. 
The children had napped through the afternoon, waking up just an hour and a half before his two eldest and their families were set to arrive. 
He’d managed to marinade the steaks for the adults, and pull burgers and hot dogs for the kids, throwing them on the grill just before everyone arrived, while his wife prepped the sides in the cool kitchen island. 
The kids themselves had opted for hitting the backyard to get some swimming in.  
And when his daughters managed to show up at the same time, he knew why Nia had managed to meet Maya’s boyfriend early. 
Both of his daughters were seeing avengers. 
Nia and Sam.
And Maya with Thor. 
And sure, Britt was ever the gracious host, leading them in, and ushering the girls to the bathroom so that they could change and swim with Isaac, Israel, and Arianna, leaving him with Thor and Sam. 
The silence was awkward at best. 
Both men were superheroes but felt a nervousness around the father of their girlfriends. 
Thankfully, they weren’t alone for long.  Maya was first to join the girls, leading Love who was clinging to her leg.  When she said she didn’t want to swim without her or Thor, Maya picked her up and balanced her on her hip.
“Love, it is alright to play with the other children!” Thor reminded his daughter. 
But Maya was sweetly brushing the hair from her face, “she’s just nervous, Thor…Love is special…and you know that I don’t mind keeping her close…she can be my personal bodyguard…right, Love?”
The little girl beamed, nodding along, and happy to be included by her adopted father’s girlfriend, “right.”
“So long as you are alright,” Thor sighed, leaning forward to kiss her temple, and then that of his daughters.  He placed his hand on the small of her back and leaned towards her, “let me know if she gets heavy and I’ll hold her…”
“You think my daughter can’t hold your little girl?”
“Dad!” Maya whined.
“Ari!” Britt chided, coming to her husband’s side, “be nice.”
“He’s insinuating that-“
“I mean no ill words, father of Maya…I only meant to be chivalrous,” Thor said quickly, cutting Ari off, “Love is no infant, and I know that Maya means well, but even I tire from holding Love at times.  She’s nearly nine years of age.”
“I don’t mind, dad, really!” Maya said firmly, subtly urging her father to drop the subject.
“Hey…I have an idea…maybe since you don’t want to swim, we could grab one of the buckets of chalk and draw and color on the deck…do you like to color, Love?”
Love’s attention perked at the mention of the coloring, and she turned towards towards Britt, “I love to color…Miss. Maya…can we color and draw?”
Maya shot her father a look, “that okay with you, dad?”
Ari felt his face redden, knowing that he’d slightly upset her, “y-yeah…sure…”
Love indicated that she wanted to be put down, but she was quick to grab onto Maya’s hand, “only if you draw with me…w-we can draw something for daddy…a-and Miss. Britt…”
“I would love that, sweetie!” Britt sighed as Love held her hand out to her.  She gave her husband a stern look, “you be nice…or no more honey for you after the cubs go to bed…”
Ari gave a low growl as his wife walked off, her hips swaying as they went to grab some chalk to start drawing.  His eyes flickered to Nia who was giggling to Sam’s side.
“And what are you laughing at, kid?”
“Just funny to see how Britt still controls you is all,” she giggled against her boyfriend, “are you going to be nice to Sam this time around?”
Ari’s jaw clenched, “when wasn’t I nice?”
“Take your pick of the holiday.  Britt’s been the only adult actually willing to welcome him into our family,” Nia scowled, her laughter falling away.  Ari frowned, but as his mouth opened, Nia was ready to cut him off, “Really dad…you’ve always been against it whenever I brought anyone home.”
“Ni…I get it,” Sam said slowly, wrapping his arm around his girlfriend, “I can’t say I’d be happy about the first time Kaya brings someone home…it’ll feel like they’re taking her away from us…and we haven’t exactly gotten off on the right foot…”
“See…he gets it!” Ari said quickly. 
“With that being said, you’ve been cold to me longer than you needed to be, Mr. Levinson,” Sam began once more, standing up for himself against his girlfriend’s father, “I get that I didn’t start off on the right foot with you by knocking Nia up…and that certainly wasn’t my intention…but I’m here for both Nia and our daughter…and the few times I’ve seen Love, Thor, and Maya together they seem genuinely happy.  The three of them are good together, whether you like it or not.”
Ari looked over to where his own wife was drawing in chalk with Love and Maya.  She looked up at him with the softest of smiles, and his heart warmed.  And then he noticed Maya looked up.  Only her gaze was fitted to that of her boyfriend’s. 
She gave him a smile and mouthed something.  Ari immediately looked at Thor, who smiled and gave a small wave, before he caught him mouthing, ‘love you too.’
Ari gave his full attention to the superhero in front of him.  He really did look like a man in love with his daughter. 
“Mr. Levinson, I must confess,” Thor said with a sigh as his attention turned back to Ari, “that’s not the only reason we asked Maya to come to your family gathering today.  I wanted to meet you and your wife…”
“M-Maya didn’t invite you?” he asked curiously, “Sh-she told me last week you were coming.”
“We only asked this morning…”Thor replied, brows furrowed, “Love and I wanted to meet the rest of her family, because we wanted to make sure it was alright with you.  We want to ask her to move in with us.”
Ari let out a deep breath.  He hadn’t realized that he’d held anything in, but relief coursed through his veins at Thor’s question.
“For a second, I thought you were going to ask for my daughter’s hand…”
“Oh…OH!” Thor exclaimed, realizing what Ari meant, “while I do love the fair maiden that is your daughter, that’s far too soon.  I just know that family is important to her, so I wouldn’t want to ask this of her without first passing it by you, her father.”
“You wanted to ask if it was okay that she moved in with you?”
“I want you to know that she couldn’t be in a safer place, staying with Love and I at Stark Tower,” Thor said quickly, “aside from being surrounded by superheroes, she’d have a security system that’s got artificial intelligence, as well as access to a list of amenities…”
“You don’t have to sell me on Stark Tower,” Ari chuckled, clapping Thor on the shoulder.  He looked back to his daughter, who was absentmindedly drawing with Love, engaging the child.  To an outsider it looked like she was the child’s mother, “you have my permission, Thor…I just want Maya to be happy.”
“I plan on doing that!” The god promised as he looked longingly at Maya and Love.
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“So…”
Ari looked to the door as his wife came into their bedroom and immediately crawled onto the bed towards him.
“So?”
“Ari,” Britt whimpered, pushing the book out of his hands and onto his lap, “talk to me.”
“What would you like to talk about, my love?” he asked with a smirk, knowing full well what she wanted to discuss. 
“Ari, come on…don’t be coy with me,” Britt giggled, getting onto her knees and crawling onto the bed towards him.  He pretended not to notice as she tugged on Ari’s t-shirt.  When that didn’t work, she pushed the book to the floor and slid onto his lap, “tell me what happened earlier with Thor and Sam…”
“We talked.”
“Well, by the time that they left today, everyone seemed in a much better mood than when they normally leave!”
Ari frowned, “they’re normally in a bad mood when they leave?”
“Oh baby,” she cooed, reaching to stroke her husband’s cheek, “You haven’t been nice to Sam since you found out he was the one that knocked Maya up…”
“I-I-she’s one of my little girls…”
“Well, it seemed like you had a real breakthrough with him today!”
“We had a moment where we connected,” Ari admitted.  Britt leaned forward and pulled his face to hers, their lips connecting in a sweet kiss.  Ari growled against her lips, his hands finding their way to her hips as he ground his erection against her core, “don’t work daddy bear up if you can’t handle it, mommy bear…”
“Who said I can’t handle it?”
“God, I love you, woman…” he growled as he flipped the two of them over.  She giggled as his hands were already tugging away at her robe.  He gasped, seeing her naked form as he tugged open the fabric, “Good god….”
“Ari!” Britt giggled as her husband’s hands started caressing her skin.  She moaned when he cupped her breasts, “Ari…”
“We’re making another one, Neshama!” the bear of a man growled, “I wanna see you full of me again…”
“Last one!” she said firmly.
Ari’s eyes looked up to Britts.  He couldn’t believe that she’d agreed so readily to his request, “really?  We-we can have one more!”
“One more, daddy bear,” she promised, pulling him back to her, “but after that you’re getting snipped and I’m getting my tubes tied.”
“Y-you really want another one?”
She sighed, and he noticed how her eyes softened, “I-I miss having a baby around…getting to see that little carbon copy of us…and before you say anything, I know…we had Israel, Isaac, and Arianna so close…but now that Arianna is in first grade I think it’s really hitting me…I-I want one more with you Ari…but just one.  I don’t want to be like Em and Lee…but I think that another happy little bundle will complete our family…”
“I’m all in, Neshama…you know that…”
“One more, and we both get fixed…for good.”
“Deal!” Ari agreed eagerly, kicking off his sleep pants as he continued to explore his wife’s body.
Chapter 18
Tag List:  @Cjand10, @huntress-artemiss, @lohnes16, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @teambarnes72, @elbell20-blog, @sebsgirl71479, @prokey16
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sergeifyodorov · 10 months
Note
i could read a million of these character asks <33 would love one for jt of leafs pjs fame and alexander ovechkin
I already knew about ovi from cultural osmosis, so I’m pretty sure I just thought of him as That Big Russian Guy Who Scores All The Goals. you know how it is.
unfortunately, i can remember my first encounter with john tavares in much more clarity. Picture this. 2021. NHL playoffs. I’m tuning in casually to watch a hockey game, plenty of which I’ve seen before but none of which i have consciously paid attention to, as I am now about to.
john tavares plays three minutes before --
i turn the television off, not to pick up hockey again until christmas.
IMPRESSION NOW
Ovechkin: DILF OF MY DREAMSSSSSS. kind of walks the line between the erotic and terrifying… he’s big and sexy sure but he’s also 240 pounds of pure freight train muscle and he DOES not get injured. Remember svech Trying It? remember svech trying It and getting knocked out in a couple punches? Ovi doesn’t even look like he’s TRYING, and svech, while being young, is no wimp, but he’s absolutely nothing compared to the absolute brick wall that is ovi. Also his power play technique freaks me out. He literally just stands there and waits for u to send him one timers. and it works
this is the shot density map for washington’s power play this year. Can you tell where ovi stands
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yeah. 
anyway i also think besides his big scarysexydilfy power he also has this sort of genre-aware whimsy that makes him just absolutely fascinating. it kind of reminds me of chucky in a way and it absolutely makes sense charisma-wise that ovi was The Cool One and sid (mcdavid in our tkachuk analogy) was obviously better albeit less popular for the casual fan, who likes the shiny sparky one and perhaps does not have a finer eye for the true step-above skill that davo and sid have.
Tavares: from one dilf to another… anon u have chosen well. jt like ovi is a virgo, a captain, a werewolf, a first overall pick, and a dilf, but the similarities end there i think… jt is a lot quieter and his sense of authority over his team feels a lot more “democratically chosen figurehead” than ovi’s natural alpha pheromones or whatever. As a player i think he’s really quite underrated -- his footspeed has obviously slipped away from him as he ages, but he’s never been fast or agile and has kind of always been a lot more reliant on his intellect and upper-body dexterity than his skating. I think he’s got this steady internal peace that really comes off to a lot of us as Boring Man (and that’s not entirely false per se) but more importantly that he has this willful internal compass that few hockeys have. that he chose to leave the islanders like that is not something that can be overstated i think; he was offered more by the isles and the sharks and i believe at least one other place, too, but he picked. He CHOSE. Most hockeys who have that kind of first-overall captaincy expectation/franchise saviour mantle on their head like he did for the Island are trapped; he was not. AND HE’S SEXY
FAV MOMENT
Ovechkin: the out-knocking of andrei svechnikov is not my fav moment but it’s certainly iconique… ovi is old and has several Moments so im gonna list a few:
the goal from his back, without which we may not have auston matthews in his current capacity
Any of the million anecdotes where he shows up in denim shorts so tiny everyone tells him to go home and change
sidovi duelling hattricks night
Really any time he cellies by just jumping on TOP of his teammates, presumably all of which are smaller and significantly more fragile than him
hahaha ice tweet
partying in the vegas fountains with the cup
Tavares: instead of providing you with several small moments i will instead provide you with The Big One: CURSEBREAKING GOAL. nuff said. to many more.
IDEA FOR STORY
Ovechkin: his age as a vet and his nebulous genre awareness make him really an ideal man for something weird. real “talking about the nature of the metaphysics that hold hockey together” type fic. also because he is such a mother hen of all the caps he deserves to take a few of them on a road trip to solve some problems… maybe we can get some baby cap who is having a Moment when confronted with A Dilf. dylan strome seems like he would take any opportunity to ~service~ his amazingly talented generational captain and of course his winger.
Tavares: say it with me: JT/ROR werewolf/vampire au (jt is the werewolf)
UNPOPULAR OPINION
Ovechkin: if the nhl weren’t cowards they wouldve marketed him as a sex symbol in the late aughts
Tavares: if the nhl weren’t cowards they would’ve marketed him as a sex symbol in the early 2010s
FAV RELATIONSHIP
Ovechkin: i actually was never an nhl fan during nicke backstrom’s time so as much as i appreciate a good Duo marriage type deal im not like. Familiar enough with Nicke for any of it. so i suppose i have to come out of the little glass closet im in as a SIDOVI WARRIOR
Tavares: now he is not nearly as slutty as ovi so we mostly have to appreciate him looking like That without shipping. although he did confess to quote liking “bossing [Willy] around a little bit” so. there’s that. also through my campaign to make the bolts more popular (so i can enjoy more narrative while getting colour confused on our yearly playoff matchup) i should remind you all that he and stamkos are CHILDHOOD FRIENDS and both wear 91 because of the other. think on that
FAV HEADCANON
Ovechkin: we’re getting into magical realism fic au type deals but he is one of the nhlers who inherently Has Powers. look some nhlers just Have Powers and he is one of em. no sidney crosby does not he is just autistic and a hockey freak. no auston matthews does not he is just a virgo and gay. quinnifer and mcdavid definitely do and machuk definitely does not. back to ovi he’s got some weird seeing beyond the veil shit goin on
Tavares: now we know he likes celine dion so i think really he’s got tastes in music that are a lot more reminiscent of your standard suburban fifty-something white milf than what he is, which is a thirty-something toronto dad. we ARE listening to shania twain together and you have to deal with that
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heavenlyhischier · 7 months
Note
Who are your top 8 favourite players besides Nico
oh gosh okay. THIS IS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER buttt
1. Jack Hughes— his cute little face got me actually interested hockey so he’ll always be a fav and love him forever
2. Trevor Zegras — i love his energy even though he can be a bit rowdy. an edit of him popped up on my fyp and that’s what got me INTRODUCED to hockey fr
3. Sidney Crosby — until this last year, he’s the only hockey player i knew, but it was for good reason. He’s honestly mesmerizing to watch and he’s a dilf without actually being a dad
4. Quinn Hughes — i love love my little huggy bear so much. i love him and all his facial expressions and im so glad he became captain
5. Luke hughes — are the Hughes brothers obvious?? yes. but do i care? no bc i love all of them. lukey is my little sweet baby and im excited for his first season
6. Andrei Svechnikov — i fucking love this man. so much.
7. Sebastian Aho — Again- i love him so much. he did fight with Jack so he gets docked a few points but still love him sm
8. KIRBY DACH — i swear the blackhawks did him so dirty but im so happy he’s on the Habs playing with cole now 🫶🏻
this was v hard but here’s my list <3
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childotkw · 10 months
Note
i'd also like a top ten list but of your own characters :D I am still intrigued about your original stories and I'd like to know how you rank them and why
Oh god I don’t know if I can contain this to just ten, I’ve had a lot more OG stories crop up over the years that I haven’t spoken about on here 😂 why don’t I do top 3-5 for each?
Aasdfsdgfsdfklgjsd this is so long I'm so sorry 😂😂😂😂
Storm Son Series
Tristan - he is my boy! My son! So earnest, and he wants to be a good ruler to make his mother proud while protecting his friends. He can be reckless and headstrong, but is a natural leader and charismatic. Still young enough to believe in the good of others, a bit naïve and idealistic, but it's endearing. Comes up with crazy plans on the fly, and loves Alden and Sena so much he's ridiculous.
Alden - he’s just…so cool to me. Perpetually responsible, to the point of being obsessive when carrying out his duties. He seems reckless, but he knows his own capabilities so well that any risks he takes are actually calculated down to the finest detail. He is the one that enables Tristan’s crazy plans. He’s got ~hidden trauma~, but loves Tristan and Sena enough to let them in.
Sena - she's very Angry but she’s got Reasons for it. An outcast, she just wants to find her place in the world, and have a family with someone that genuinely loves and respects her. She’s not human, and is insanely strong, to the point where yeeting Alden at an enemy is a move they hone and use regularly. She loves Alden and Tristan and would die to protect them.
Lucas - the cool suave mentor figure. Massive DILF energy. Alden is his protege and thinks he is “all the best parts” of Lucas. Pseudo-father-son relationship on full blast. Lucas has done some bad shit in his past though, and it makes other, older characters very wary and distrusting of him.
Rosen - main villain. He’s clever and dangerous, and can come across as a madman but he’s actually fully in control at all times and that makes it way worse. Calculative and manipulative, he’s all-in in his plots and confident that he can win. Mildly obsessed with Alden because of his undisclosed past with Lucas.
Undertow
Cassius - if trauma had an associated image it would be his face. This man desperately needs a break. A child soldier, he struggles emotionally to connect with others whenever he tries, and has a lot of identity issues. He loves his twin brother, and though he does a lot of horrible stuff, he's equally messed up by it. He's my punching bag and is a water mage.
Darian - Cassius' twin and number one protector. Can, has and will throw hands to keep his brother safe. Darian is a lot more carefree and emotionally stable, but he also hides a very dark streak. He enjoys fighting, revels in violence and is borderline psychotic with only Cassius existing in his sphere of loved ones. He's a fire mage, and terrifyingly suited to his element.
Cenli - the head of the institute that trains the mages. She's cold and political, using others for her own gain without hesitation. She only wants to protect the institute. Does play a somewhat maternal role for Cassius and Darian but it's a very complex relationship.
Kalim (might be renamed) - high ranking bad dude that's obsessed with Cassius because he saw him do A Grisly Murder once and it tickled his fancy. He's playing 4D chess against everyone and is very hard to predict. Pretty much everyone hates when he's around because they all know he's up to something but they can never prove it.
Trials of Edos
Eli - probably the sweetest all-around character I’d ever write. He’s young, like fourteen, and very much a Classic Hero that wants to save everyone even at cost to himself. Selfless and kind to balance out the absolute magical power he’s packing. Kid could destroy the sun but he won’t because he’s a Good Boy. Needs supervision though because he attracts trouble.
Ariella - a thief with an honour code that means she can’t let Eli throw himself at the Big Bad alone. She gets caught up in the plot and just never leaves. Very confident, very switched-on, very competent. She finds Cayden adorable because he’s trying to be chivalrous and respectful. She enjoys pushing his buttons.
Cayden - a knight from an extinct order that swears loyalty to Eli after he saves him. He’s just a good guy, bit out of touch but genuine. Ariella both terrifies and fascinates him, and they work well together. He’s got a lot of guilt and trauma though, which springs up at the oddest times and makes his friends very protective of him.
Gods and monsters (not officially named)
Ira - disgruntled immortal wizard (think 5000+ years) that is forever in service of the royal family. He’s got Tired Dad energy when interacting with Elana but everyone else just gets a glare. He’s insanely powerful, has a long, long history and Knows A Lot Of Shit because he’s been around for it all. Very Angry at the Gods for Very Valid Reasons.
Elana - Princess-turned-Queen after her father’s death. She’s twelve/thirteen, very inexperienced and has been ‘given’ Ira as her key advisor, but she has no idea who or what he is. Very quickly bonds with him as a father-figure, and wants to uncover all of his secrets. She’s inquisitive and clever but painfully young, and still believes in goodness and fairness and daydreams.
Constance - Elana’s grandmother, former Queen. She’s old and not always aware of what’s happening around her, but she and Ira have a past because he was her key advisor when she was Queen. She’s very respected by her people, but had a vicious streak not many know about.
Ziris - the god of fortune / misfortune. Very young, only about 800 years old. He’s a troublemaker and fickle but if you catch his interest he’ll be ride-or-die for you. Very loyal to his goddess-mother, and is heavily involved in the politics of the Gods. He has a fondness for irritating Ira, and likes Elana.
Dystopian (not officially named)
Piers Erinson - my sad, wet, pathetic son. Someone needs to get this boy some therapy. Very self-destructive, way kinder than you would expect. A member of the DOVEs, which are the elite troops / spies of the Council. He was strong armed into service after a mishap with his old squad, and is the nephew of a hated former DOVE, and traitor. He’s forever trying to escape that shadow, and carries a lot of guilt over what happened to his squad. He would die for Etta, his DOVE partner - and tries to multiply times but she just won’t let him.
Etta Litman - my daughter! Badass lady, 10/10 want to be her friend. Etta was part of Piers’ squad when The Thing happened. She saw him spiralling and joined up with DOVE to keep an eye on him, essentially threw herself to the wolves to protect him from the system and all the corrupt people. She’s very patient, supportive and empathetic to Piers, seeing him as a surrogate younger brother. Anyone else can get fucked in her eyes. She’s super protective of him and will punch anyone who insults him at the drop of a hat.
Dacre Cygnet - rebel, wants to fight the Council and the system and probably God too. Very manipulative, often lies to even his friends if it’ll get him what he wants (and he might even feel bad about it). Blinded by his mission and fully willing to go through people if they stand in his way. Feels many things all at once towards Piers that he cannot compute because he’s a bit of an asshole, very much a “you are the only person I’d hesitate to shoot, please don’t use that against me” kinda deal. They’re on opposite sides technically but he pines.
Marie Fowlep - Piers and Etta’s mentor in DOVE. She had a history with Piers’ uncle, and you can’t tell if she wants to keep Piers safe or wants to use him until he breaks. Doesn’t have a maternal bone in her bone but would go to bat for her kids operatives. She’s a “the ends justify the means” kind of lady. Can be very mean.
Rust and Ruin
Mikol - youngest child of Emperor Bendek and Royal Consort Anilise. He’s aware from a young age of the shitty position his mother (and he) have in Otrar’s court and feels a deeper connection to her as both of them were considered ‘outsiders’ due to their features. After his mother died, Mikol spent the next nine years in his mother’s country as a ward, and grew to be a cunning, quick-witted and strong leader. He travelled all over, joined the army, learning as much as he could about how badly his family ruled, and eventually returned to Otrar. He’s an ambitious little fucker and doesn’t get along with his older siblings, especially his oldest half-brother Leonil.
Orryn - born in Troam Siana, the isle of the Ashri (those capable of different types of magic), he was quickly singled out as a new type of Ashri (called Okaeti - capable of energy manipulation). He grew lonely though as the only Okaeti, and made his way to Otrar. Decades later he’s still there, acting as an advisor to the royal family but growing increasingly frustrated with how they govern. He was close friends with Anilise and grows to care for Mikol.
Anilise - the daughter of the King of Evaria, she was forced to marry Emperor Bendek after their country was conquered. Anilise was fifteen, completely isolated in a foreign, hostile court, and essentially forced to breed over and over because the Empress could not carry more children herself. She’s quiet and subdued, treated more as an ornament than a person. Anilise birthed four children, all made to look like the Emperor and Empress in utero by an Ashri magic. Anilise had little to no contact with her children, who grew up thinking the Empress was their mother. Mikol is her only child that looks like her, so she was allowed to raise him. Unfortunately, her constant pregnancies deteriorated her health to the point where she was bedridden, and she died when Mikol was six.
Leonil - the oldest of Bendek’s children, he’s a cruel and cunning young man that wants the throne. He has a particular dislike for Mikol, who he acknowledges is the most dangerous of his half-siblings, and the two of them are each other’s main rival / enemy. Leonil is married with his own young son, and loves his wife and child fiercely. He is ruthless when it comes to defending his claim to the throne, and wants Mikol out of the way.
Delia - Leonil’s wife and a very charming, conniving woman. She’s a softer touch when it comes to manipulating others, and shares what information she gleans with her husband. She also thinks Mikol is dangerous but thinks he'd be more beneficial on their side than against them. She is an excellent politician, and people often underestimate her.
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negrowhat · 2 years
Note
Top 22 KPop idols?
HEY FRIENDS CELEBRATE ME REACHING 2500 FOLLOWERS BY SENDING ME ASKS:
Nothing’s off the table for these asks. You can ask me anything. Top 3′s, Top 5′s, Top 10′s, even Top 22′s (lord). They can be BL related, KPOP related, food, movies, people. Or you can just drop in the ask box to show your love and congratulate ya sis on 2500. 
TOP 22 IDOLS??? I think I can do that. I have a lot of loves in my life.
J-Hope from BTS. It's no secret Hobi is my ult. He's been my ult since like 2016.
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2. Jay B from GOT7. My King, my Capricorn twin flame. Also a dilf.
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3. Hanse from VICTON. Next to Hobi, Hanse is perfection in my eyes. I adore everything about him and I would love to share a closet with him.
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4. Johnny from NCT 127. He is my boyfriend and if I could I would climb him like a tree.
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5. Jun from A.C.E. IDK ever since Tinted With You, leader has been coming for my neck! Not only is he gorgeous, but he's so funny!
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6. MoMo from TWICE. She's literally so fucking beautiful and so talented.
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7. Yeosang from ATEEZ. There's something so spectacular about Kang Yeo. He's such a good boy but also so rude.
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8. Wonho. The only thing bigger than his muscles is his heart. This man could swat a fly and feel so distraught afterwards. He's got nothing but love to give and is honestly one of the sweetest idols in the game.
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9. I.M from Monsta X. My lil boyfriend. He just be out the vibing, writing good music, and minding his own business.
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10. Ailee. Fucking queen and she's so motherfucking SEXY.
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11. Chungha. Short queen. I just enjoy her energy and she's so talented.
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12. Hyolyn. I only stan queens. I'mma be honest. I'd let her step on me.
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13. Mino from WINNER. MY FUCKING DOM! He's so fucking amazing. Such a talented rapper and painter and song writer. Nothing but love for that man.
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14. Kai from EXO. Ever since his solo debut I've been looking at him with fresh eyes.
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15. Onew from Shinee. Onew is an underrated king and he's so perfect. Also I'll never forget him chanting "Shinee, Pinee."
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16. Beomgyu from TXT. My fave lil trickster. I love how he makes it his mission to get on every single one of Yeonjun's nerves. Peak baby brother behavior.
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17. Sungjin from DAY6. HOW I MISS LEADER! He should be coming home soon. He acts so much like 62 year old dad and I love that. And his voice is unique.
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18. Mingyu from Seventeen. He's new for my list but he's oh so pretty and his rap flow is very sexy.
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19. YangYang from WAYV. My fave German boy. He's just such a good bean and he enjoys annoying Ten which makes me laugh.
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20. Suga from BTS. He's always been an absolute fave, but LATELY. MY NECK? HE'S BEEN COMING FOR IT. He's literally just so stunning and brilliant.
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21. Yuta from NCT 127. Osaka Prince with the healing smile, tattoos, and belly ring. He's another underrated vocal king and I won't rest until he gets a solo album.
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22. Chenle from NCT Dream. My goodest boy.
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HEY FRIENDS CELEBRATE ME REACHING 2500 FOLLOWERS BY SENDING ME ASKS:
Nothing’s off the table for these asks. You can ask me anything. Top 3′s, Top 5′s, Top 10′s, even Top 22′s (lord). They can be BL related, KPOP related, food, movies, people. Or you can just drop in the ask box to show your love and congratulate ya sis on 2500. 
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tsuntsunfangirl · 1 year
Text
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I posted 12,955 times in 2022
That's 12,955 more posts than 2021!
561 posts created (4%)
12,394 posts reblogged (96%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@the-haven-of-fiction
@timelordgifs
@nuggsmum
@tsuntsunfangirl
@izhunny
I tagged 2,778 of my posts in 2022
#captain pike - 456 posts
#hell on wheels - 293 posts
#cullen bohannon - 278 posts
#star trek strange new worlds - 270 posts
#anson mount - 197 posts
#anson mount problems - 197 posts
#lowho watches star trek discovery - 167 posts
#star trek discovery - 153 posts
#spoilers - 145 posts
#lowho is an idiot - 144 posts
Longest Tag: 136 characters
#tsundere meaning - a japanese term for a character development process that depicts a character with a personality who is initially cold
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
This list of nicknames for Christopher Pike is growing.
Captain Dashing
Captain Dimples
Captain Dilf
...what else
Updated:
Captain American Variant I hate this Haven
Captain SAF (Stupid Angel Face) [Haven]
Captain Coif [Haven]
Captain Papí [Haven]
Captain Sir  [Haven]
Captain Horse Girl [sun-lit-roses]
Captain Sensitive Content *coughseeSNWep6* [misslacklamb]
Captain Silver Fox [love-affair-with-fandoms]
Captain Dreamy  [love-affair-with-fandoms]
Captain Dad [peppertoyourtony/waxedpaperdoor/kalimav6]
Captain One-Liner [myenterpriseisparked]
Una’s slutty husband [regalpotato]
Captain Little Spoon [GODDAMNIT HAVEN]
✨Mr. Starfleet✨ [ichayalovesyou]
Captain Awesome Hair [sweetheart-ninja]
Captain Gigil WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME HAVEN
Captain Chef (boy he just can't stop cooking huh)
Captain Pirate [Haven]
Captain Boy Scout [Haven]
Captain Whimsy [Haven]
Captain Apron [Haven]
Captain Popinjay [Haven/Lowho]
Captain Pompadour
CAPTAIN BIG DUMB BROAD SHOULDERS
See the full post
119 notes - Posted June 8, 2022
#4
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Source - tatewu1 @ twitter
121 notes - Posted July 23, 2022
#3
He’s got the range when--
he makes you believe that compassion and chivalry are not dead
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he shows you what grief and heartbreak is all about
See the full post
129 notes - Posted June 24, 2022
#2
The Boyscout, Mr. Starfleet, the most dashing Captain you will ever meet
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The biggest slimeball in your kid's fairytale story
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134 notes - Posted June 24, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
STILL CRYING
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See the full post
328 notes - Posted August 28, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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