as much as i dislike the dialogue option that leads to this scene, i genuinely appreciate gale's response. it is easy to overlook what he is actually trying to convey here and is instead commonly dismissed as him being "overdramatic" or as a display of his bruised ego.
player: it was fine.
gale: i see.
gale: well, fine is... fine. nobody weeps because the weather is fine. no monarchs were overthrown because their ruling was fine. no artworks were burned because they were not masterpieces, but merely fine.
player: would you have rather i lied?
gale: the dignified thing for me to say is 'no. of course not. forthrightness before all.' but honestly? yes... i would have rather you lied.
gale: i'm just a man. an imperfect one, with needs, wants, and flaws by the bushel. a fragile vessel in which to place potentially world-ending power.
gale: perhaps it would be better to not shake such a vessel.
gale: forgive me. these were already trying times before elminster delivered his missive. now, for me at least, they are potentially end times.
gale is no stranger to introspection. despite having his natural blindspots, he is fully aware of his flaws and imperfections. he lacks an inherent sense of self-preservation, displays impatience on occasion, can be hypocritical, has trouble handling pointed criticism well, and has a tendency to respond in passive aggression if he feels his competence is brought into question. he seeks admiration and is known to not honor his limitations and own safety for the sake of receiving praise.
gale: [...] people have always commented on my confidence, sometimes my over-confidence, and in one particularly cut throat assessment at university - my 'abject and incorrigible self-delusion.'
gale is not blind to how he is perceived by others, nor does he dismiss their conclusions without careful consideration. instead of deflecting he simply takes what they dish out and files it away for later contemplation and inspection.
player: because you acted the idiot. and paid the price for it too.
gale: as always, i endeavor to be invigorated by your candour, rather than eviscerated by it.
gale: blunt as your summation is - it's correct. i dared to call myself an archmage while acting the apprentice. the hallmarks of a most excellent idiot, unfortunately.
player: i can't say i share the same high opinion of you, gale.
gale: always bringing such candour to our conversations. some would think twice about mocking gale of waterdeep, but you just go straight for the gut.
nodecontext: playing along, making fun of himself
gale: i like that about you. it's one of your rarer qualities, though i fear my ego can take no more of it tonight.
nodecontext: cheerfully accepting the brush off, not taking it personally
needs, wants, and flaws by the bushel.
gale craves as mortals do. for relevance, safety, consideration, loyalty, care, acceptance, and love. he's desperate, he's angry, he's petty and hurt and lonely. he's contradictory, and at times inconsistent. he's afraid, he stumbles, he yearns. if he loves, he does so with all his heart but forgets to extend the same love to himself. he gains understanding only to disregard it later. he is absorbed yet devoted. he expects kindness but is bewildered when it is extended to him in turn. he's neither a perfect colleague, a perfect companion, a perfect lover, nor a perfect husband. he's just another human who's trying to navigate and make sense of the world. who is silently hoping for his soul to be handled with tenderness and care, to finally be seen for who he is —no need for performance or pretense — and to be unconditionally cherished nonetheless.
a fragile vessel in which to place potentially world-ending power.
he knows the burden he carries. understanding that even a momentary lapse in judgment could spell catastrophe if he doesn't exert tight control over his emotions at all times. he knows what is at stake should he lose the composure he painstakingly had to master. a mere moment is all it takes. this self-assessment isn't an "indirect threat" intended to subject pressure on tav or solicit pity, it's a stark acknowledgment of the truth. he is a fragile human, housing powers that should've never been his in the first place.
player: unbelievable. did you ever think what would happen if the tadpole got the better of you?
gale: every waking moment. every dreaming moment too. but there was no way out.
he is also keenly aware of how his (former) colleagues perceive him, following his fall from grace.
player: bold. few would dare to reduce a goddess to their 'muse.'
gale: i am, after all, the villain of the tale.
this line in particular is one i often think about. it makes me wonder about the extent of information gale received from the outside world after locking himself in his tower for an entire year, setting magical wards so no one but tara would be able to enter. did he hear the whispers? ("shunned by the goddess of magic herself, of course, it was only a matter of time before he flew too close to the sun.") were his colleagues ridiculing him, applauding mystra for cutting off the rot at the source? how did he arrive at the assumption that he is perceived as "the villain" and not the victim?
player: you must have been lonely, with only tara for company..
gale: sometimes. but i imposed it upon myself, after all. i set up enough wards to keep an army at bay, never mind the few colleagues who sought to inquire about my welfare.
or is this solely his own harsh judgment of his folly? that there is no chance anyone would meet him with sympathy, kindness and understanding after what he had wrought. he was too greedy, too impatient — selfish in arrogance, ravenous in ambition. letting delusions of grandeur guide him. he brought it all upon himself with his lack of patience. entirely convinced of his success and skill, blind to the possibility of failure. now doomed to drag innocents into the abyss with him. the hallmarks of a villain, right? after all, who would truly believe him that his ambition hid no ill will?
players: by rights. i should kill you.
gale: perhaps that is what i deserve, but you deserve no such thing. [...]
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thinking what if there’s is an inherent selfishness in gojos selflessness when he says he wishes to raise sorcerers who are just as strong as he is. maybe its but a hopeful dream to be a little less lonely, to lift a weight off his shoulders. and maybe he doesnt even realize it and its an unconcious thing he hopes for.
being born the strongest sorcerer alive, he learned to rely on himself and his strenght and grew up with everyone around him relying on him too. even if he wanted to count on others to help him they would inevitably get in the way being weaker than him, he could never expect others to ever live up to his strenght.
i think thats why he said its a pain looking out for the weak. it is a pain to carry all that weight by himself all the time. it is a pain to have everyone rely on you. why must he be responsible for other peoples lives? thats an unimaginable burden to carry. can you imagine the guilt that comes from having someone trust your their life and you’re unable to save them? contrary to getous beliefs, maybe gojo thought that instead of shielding the weak from harms way, the weak should strive to become strong instead. to be independent. because, in the end, he never got that himself. he never got to depend on anybody else. (the only exception being geto) he never got to slack off, to sit back and wait for somebody to save him. and despite being born the strongest, he still continuously yearned to be better. i think that after amanai’s death he realized that although he’s strong he still hadnt achieved his full potential, he was the strongest just not as strong as he could possibly be. (and to answer getous question hes the strongest because hes gojo satoru!! he might have blamed himself for her death but he didn’t let that stop him. it fueled him!! maybe he had felt helpless back then losing to toji and perhaps that was a feeling which was unknown to him and he decided he never wanted to feel that way ever again.)
thats why i think that being a teacher suits him perfectly. he wishes to create sorcerers who are self suficient, he raises them to be on his level. as long as gojo is alive, there’ll always be those that think that if it ever came down to it, gojo would come to the rescue but, on the other hand there’ll be those who look up to him and wish to be like him. and thats gojos dream. and maybe if there are sorcerers who grow up to be just as strong as him, just as reliable, it would make the weight he has carried alone all these years by himself a little lighter. maybe they wont mind carrying a little of that weight themselves.
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