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zarpasuave · 9 months

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I could go on for days about how perfect this track is for the moment Scaramouche loses everything for the final time.

(For context, this is what plays in the background of the cutscene where the gnosis is taken from him)

Even before the 3.2 version it was already known (at least for people closely following Scaramouche’s lore) that the one thing he yearned for the most was the gnosis, his “heart”. It was only by tying himself to the fake archon that he was finally able to have it, something he considered was rightfully his but, above that, the one thing he thought would fix him.

AND THEN it just gets taken away again. He knows that, without the gnosis, he is back to step one, back to being miserable, useless and powerless. So Scaramouche actually begs for it to not be taken away and gosh, I’ve really gotta give it to Patrick Pedraza because the delivery of that bit in the English dub is heartbreaking, I don’t know but it really did it’s job at making me feel pity for him.

But all this is to say that this vocal performance, the animation of him ripping himself out of the machine desperately reaching out for the gnosis plus this track are so so good at encompassing the fear and the tragedy that is being perpetually denied the thing you were created for.

That’s without mentioning how perfectly sick and twisted it seems the way the Inazuma-style instruments fade away into the Sumeru theme at the end, like Scaramouche’s lowest point in his existence isn’t even worth a full track to himself.

I love it so much and I was super excited for it to come out on Spotify.

#he just cant win #I love this little loser he’s so sososososoososso #genshin impact #genshin #wanderer #scaramouche #ideas #Spotify #I’m so normal I’m not playing it an unhealthy amount of times trust

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macarensesangles · 2 years

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ever since getting to the strip in fnv i cant stop thinking about maerchen in a little silky slip dress with like a giant enormous feather boa or fur stole or something like that going around being sexy at the casinos. hes not even doing anything he just sits around being hot

#had the vague idea of him being a singer but hes so swamped with Admirers he dresses as a woman offstage to dodge them #but then guys just hit on him bc hes so beautiful and androgynous #he just cant win

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horriblehistorieschild · 5 months

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Augsburg having all the possession means we have to be more defensive and poor Gio is getting lost.

#he just cant win #borussia dortmund

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caleblandrybones · 1 year

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i cant believe lalo is losing against gus even in the blowjob poll. L

and im sure that puppet would have him beat in a handy poll too

#he just cant win #asks

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nelkcats · 1 year

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After Danny adopted Dani as his daughter, she decided to travel a little again, the problem is, she ended in Metropolis.

Now that the Justice League is chasing her cause "she killed her original" , she decided to go with them, just cause she is tired of running

Now they are discussing contingency plans and Dani needs ecto-dejecto, she decided to call her parent.

Enter 100% original Danny Fenton, full human form, screaming about kidnapping his daughter

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minubell · 7 months

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Incredibly funny how Sauron just takes L after L after L throughout his entire life.

#Tides of War #Art #Silmamemes #Sauron #Mairon #Cant win em all #Seriously he just keeps losing #Dude at some point you gotta just give up

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s0fter-sin · 4 months

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prince!ghost and lord in waiting!soap

ghost is a warrior prince, next in line after king price and it’s always been accepted he would be the lone ruler; never one for entertaining the courts or indulging foreign rulers trying to consolidate their power. he hardly acts like a prince at all, in name only when he spends more time as a pseudo captain of the guard. price has never begrudged him that, not when he himself has been a lone king since his inauguration

though he’s a warrior prince, he’s never lost the favour of the people; many see him as a guardian even if he doesn’t interact with the people as much as benevolent and stalwart king price. who he does interact with is the kingdom’s children; always ready to bend a knee and listen to bright voices, to praise stick swords and shields or hear the plight of a struggling family. it was a common belief that if he wasn’t out protecting, then he was with the protected; face covered, blonde curls shining in the sun

soap’s always loved ghost. as his lord in waiting, it’s been his job to attend him since they were young and even as a child, he’d idolised him; his skills in battle, his surety. he thought his life would be nothing but service, clothing a brat prince and making sure his shoes shined. but ghost has proven more than that; he treats him as an equal, consults him on strategy and court politics and over time that idolisation turned into love

and ghost has always felt the same. he’d begrudged the idea of a lord in waiting, not wanting someone always in his business but then came this spitfire who never missed an opportunity to push back on him; to make him dig deeper. johnny is more than some mere servant; he’s his confidant, his best friend, his… everything. he could be simon with him, not prince ghost

but simon figures that out too late

king price gets word from king shepherd, a kingdom they’ve only recently stopped feuding with and he’s offering up his son, prince graves, as a way to bond their kingdoms together and firmly put war behind them. price is ready to deny him, he doesn’t fear war from shepherd, when he sends some ancient laws that leave him unable to refuse. he hates it, hates that he’s ruining ghost’s happiness and feels like he’s betraying his adopted son but there’s nothing he can do

graves comes to their kingdom within the month and it’s clear from the moment he walks through their gates that he’s the opposite of ghost; arrogant and conceited, his ceremonial armour glossy and untouched by battle. he’s dismissive of their servants, of their ways, of their people and ghost hates him

graves insists that the wedding happen as soon as possible, pushing the craftsmen and cooks beyond their limits to prepare and every moment ghost spends with him, the more he dreads his wedding day. every evening he retreats to his room, exhausted, and it’s all johnny can do to keep him afloat; trying to keep him positive as ghost falls away and simon breaks in his arms. he wants to whisk him away like the old tales, the pain his oldest friend and love is in making his heart ache but all he can do is promise to be there with him

but it seems graves wants to take even him away

“soap’s been my lord in waiting since we were children,” ghost protests, voice barely clinging to civility. “i wouldn’t want to lose such a valuable worker.”

“there are plenty of decent servants in our kingdom; you’ll forget this one soon enough,” graves waves away, carding a possessive hand over his curls and it’s only bc he’s looking for it that soap sees ghost’s jaw twitch beneath his neck gaiter. “it’s custom for one marrying into our kingdom to embrace all that it has to offer, leaving who they were behind to become someone better. you’re entering a new life with me; you don’t need the baggage of this dreary place.”

soap feels sick as he walks behind them, his blank expression hiding all sign of his breaking heart.

“soap is beholden to me,” ghost declares. “we were sworn together by the old laws. i’m afraid a custom isn’t enough for me to break a vow to the gods.”

graves lets out a disgruntled noise, tugging harshly at one of ghost’s curls with only a thin veil of fondness; his conceding smile not reaching his eyes.

“i never made a vow to the gods,” johnny points out later. “price gave me to you because he was sick of me setting fire to the kitchens.”

simon hums and sets his freshly cleaned armour aside, turning to him with a twinkle in his eyes he’s barely seen since sheperd’s missive. “you pinkie swore that you would never leave me; that’s more powerful than any promise to the gods,” he says and soap’s thrown back fifteen years, to a willow tree big enough to touch the sky; to two boys from different stations who didn’t care that one was dressed in silk and the other in scraps.

johnny feels a lightness he hasn’t in a month as simon winks at him. “besides, do you really think graves is smart enough to figure it out?”

the days pass quickly, graves’ veneer of affection growing ever thinner, and before either of them are ready, it’s the eve of ghost’s wedding.

he’s said nothing, done nothing but stare at the wedding robes graves had tailored for him in the fashion of his kingdom and johnny doesn’t know how to break the silence. he draws out each second as he fusses with the cape piece and ensures the shoes shine in the fire light until he has no more excuses.

he sighs as he straightens up, brushing off polish onto his pants. “i suppose this is where i leave you,” he says with a weak smile but it quickly dies when simon still doesn’t look at him. “i’ll be here in the morning to help you get ready… good night, simon.”

johnny bows and makes for the door, trying to convince himself he didn’t just say goodbye.

but he’s stopped by simon’s hand loosely wrapping around his wrist.

he looks back as simon finally tears his eyes away from the robes, looking at him with such clear longing it almost brings him to his knees.

“i don’t want graves to be the first man to touch me, johnny,” he confesses and johnny’s breath hitches. “i don’t want to be married to another… not when the one i’m set to wed isn’t you. but if i have to do this… please let me feel loved one final time.”

simon’s thumb brushes the back of his hand; their kingdom’s greatest warrior caressing him with a touch light as silk. he doesn’t pull johnny in, doesn’t need to; johnny’s already sinking into his touch.

desperation and love tinge every movement; johnny dancing his fingers over simon’s neck gaiter until he all too happily removes it, baring his scarred cheeks and lips. johnny kisses each one, willing his love and his touch to linger above all others as they move together; sharing breath, sharing body, sharing soul the way they wish they always have.

when ghost makes his way down the aisle, it’s not in the fine embroidered robes graves had laid out for him. he’s in his battle armour; dark and weathered, the sign of the ghost, the warrior prince, going to battle. the only thing missing is his helm, tucked under his arm.

showing his hair; curls gone and shaved tight to his skin.

a thing done only in a time of great mourning.

graves looks irate and it’s the only spark of joy ghost feels as he stops before the altar; set beneath the willow tree where johnny promised himself to him. one final insult.

ghost is silent throughout the ceremony and in spirit and in grief, so is the entire gathered kingdom until the priestess reaches the final vows and suddenly, a great roar rises above the crowd as seemingly every child in the kingdom swarms the altar.

ghost is too shocked to do anything but let them push him away from graves, bullying their way between them like they’re preparing to protect him just as he’s always protected them.

graves is furious but the children stand firm in the face of his threats until he moves to strike one-

and freezes as soap’s blade finds his throat.

“you would dare hurt these children?” he growls, sword following graves as he stumbles back. “you’ve kept up your charade the entire time and here is where you show your true colours. i think it’s time i show mine.”

graves splutters as johnny turns to the priestess and king price, falling to one knee and offering up his blade. “your grace, i wish to challenge prince graves for the hand of prince simon!”

his voice rings clear and he feels the eyes of every person in the kingdom.

but he only cares for one man.

who is watching him with more love than he’s ever felt.

“who are you to challenge me?” graves sneers. “you’re nothing more than a servant; no better than the dirt on my boots.”

johnny doesn’t bother to look at him, too caught in the love in simon’s eyes and the grateful look on king price’s face. “then you should have nothing to worry about. you’ve been crowing your accolades from the rooftops since you got here; let’s see if you live up to the hype.”

because simon only ever introduced him as his lord in waiting.

never as sir soap- his second in command and one of the greatest swordsmen their kingdom has ever seen.

#soaps challenge over rules the law shepherd wrapped price up in and hes all too happy to grant it #and of course soap wins and the kingdom gets to witness the marriage of prince simon and sir johnny #im imagining soap as full highlander in the last scene #huge mohawk with braided sides running down his back kilt great sword the works #i dont know where this came from lmao i was half asleep listening to sick of losing soulmates by dodie and it was like i was possessed #which is my favourite type of inspiration i cant lie #laswell is the priestess and gaz is prices advisor or his lord in waiting im not sure #lord in waiting is the male equivalent of lady in waiting just btw as far as i know its like a personal handmaid #i did about half a second of googling then went of existing knowledge that could very easily be wrong #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john price #captain price #phillip graves #fic #au #save post

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whaliiwatching · 9 months

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a taste of hannibal, a touch of megamind, a shot of venom (pours the whole damn bottle)

i love venom (2018) a lot, it’s my go-to movie when i’m bored or sad, i have seen it many many times. i saw it again a week or so ago with a bud and finally had the opportunity to pen down this lovely au i’ve been thinkin bout

i’ve got a much more fleshed out sketch of how this au plays out. not sure if i’ll write it yet

anyway some bullet points

noir (called, ofc, noir) arrives on earth-138 in the 1920s. his first host is robbie and they basically go through the venom movie, where noir slowly learns to love earth and humanity and all that jazz. up until the 50s or so they’re an investigative reporter and occasionally a scary vigilante superhero!

when robbie is killed (not ewaf style. i forbid it), it fucking devastates noir and he host-hops for a bit, doing fun anarchy things to keep up robbie’s legacy but also losing a few morals here and there. he can do a little murder and eat nazis as a treat

the symbiotes arrive en masse and osborn infects humans with them to turn into his fascist riot police army

through vampire-hunting-esque shenanigans, hobie and noir meet, and strike up a tenuous truce to fight the government. hobie does not like him at first, but noir very much does ;)

cue a slow burn gothic romance between a freedom fighter and a devoted monster <3

#spider man: across the spider verse #spider punk #spider noir #hobie brown #noirpunk #theyre not spiderpeople in this au lol #the issue is i can write horror but i cant draw it lhkjdsf #which is why the Funnies #and the goddamn megamind scene. which somehow perfectly fits #see the fun part about it is that noir has to always be connected to hobie in order to survive #so we have Monster Who is Recklessly Devoted to Host and Host Who is Not Into This #noir’s hat and general look come from his assimilation to humanity over the last fifty or so years. hes not like other symbiotes #hes quirky. he wears a fedora. you ever seen him without that stupid hat on that’s WEIRD #two stupid old jokes in one! i like it #anyway yeah monster noir for the win #thanks discord! yall made me rework this entirely just to make it more fucked up horror <3

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kagoutiss · 8 months

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crossposting stuff again but i’m having a Wind Waker emotions attack and did you know that WW ganon actually took the time to wrap tetra in the blanket she was sleeping under before hovering up to the top of the tower with her under his arm like a soccer ball. it’s such a tiny thing but the fact that he thought to do that at all. i cant i cant

hewas really like ‘Get Bundled Idiot!!!’ like he had adoption papers ready to go. he was dead from the moment he decided he’d rather take care of her than kill her

#wind waker #not art #ganondorf #tetra #zelda #game that kills you. game that rips you into individual pieces #game that takes the character everyone brands as inherently evil and inhuman when in reality he would win if he actually just killed her #and he never does even though objectively it should solve all of his problems #still cant even do it after losing everything and Saying that he’ll kill them #puts his sword away in the final fight before hitting her so it isn’t even lethal. game that punches u in the stomach repeatedly for life

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stiffyck · 13 days

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Okay what if the winners got to meet previous versions of themselves through the life games.

Like grian meets no one. He didn't have any previous "versions".

Scott meets 3rd life Scott.

Pearl meets 3rd life and last life pearl.

Martyn meets 3rd life, last life and double life Martyn.

Scar meets 3rd life, last life, double life and lim life him-

This whole thing was an idea that I got just because I was thinking about ll and sl scar because they were both so lonely like wtf and I just though about a scene that would be so. Grips chair.

Ll: "We won?"

Sl: "Yeah"

Ll: "Did we have allies? Friends?"

Ll scar probably thinks sl scar won only because he had allies to support him. He knows what its like being lonely and he hopes no one has to go through that loneliness. And he wants to be optimistic for once that sl scar, future him, gets allies, gets friends.

He tries to hope and then he sees the look on sl scars face. Or maybe sl scar tries to lie- maybe he tries to say they had allies.

Ll scar sees right through him. He's him after all. Maybe he's always gonna he lonely anyway

#im being insane give me a momebt #also i forgot pearl wasnt jn 3rd life but its okay. she was in 3rd life to me <3 #ALSO? THE POTENTIAL OF 3RDLIFE SCAR? AND DOUBLE LIKE AND LIM LIFE SCAR?#3rd life scar is optimistic. he thinks its okay! grian is his ally in the fjture too right? he wins with grian?#no other scar wants to look him in the eye becayse they all remember the allyship they had with grian thay crumbled in ll #and that got completely destroyed in double life.#double life scar doesnt want to tell 3rd life scar and tell him grian doesnt care. he cant do that to himself.#tell his younger and more optimistic self that grian doesnt want them as his soulmates... that he would rather sneak off with skmeone else..#and lim life scar. he was excited for the future because he did have friends! he had allies jn lim life- but seeing sl scar?#seeing how they just go back to being alone again?#its soul crushing.#(inserting my aroace angst here: is he really that unlovable? is his lack of romantic love so unappealing?#does no one want him? does no one but himself love him?#does he himself even love him? can he? seeing how miserable they all are it feels hard and lonely #lim life scar probably wants to comfort them all- but isnt it sad that the only person to comfort him would be himself?#) okay im done being insane goodbye-#stiff talk #gtws

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