#he just doesn't show it in the same ways

[ofswordsandpens]

"the Gabe and Sally dynamic in the show is abusive" and "the way they've portrayed Gabe in the show is distinctly different from his book counterpart and fans can criticize that" are two discussions that can coexist

#I understand that this is hard topic to navigate #but me saying that /they've changed Gabe and that's consequently altered the dynamic he has with Sally in way I don't like/ #is NOT me saying I don't think what they've portrayed onscreen is non-abusive #or that I WANT to see him abuse her??? #its just the guy in the show while clearly controlling and abusive (emotionally and financially so far) #...I don't believe he's the guy who's presence was so horrid and disgusting MONSTERS avoided him #I wouldn't call him /Smelly/ #in the book his abuse (all forms) is much more overt #(and just to be painstakingly clear: abuse doesn't have to be overt to be abuse) #but the guy in the show does not have the same presence as the guy in the book #book Gabe is menacing #he growls and he threatens and both Sally and Percy have developed very specific responses to deal with it #I've seen one take saying that people can't recognize the abuse in the show because its not physical (yet?) #but even disregarding the physical abuse entirely #if you compare the book scene and TV show scene of Percy arriving home and he and Sally readying for Montauk #there is a pretty stark difference in tone #and in how both Sally and Percy interact with Gabe #in the book Sally goes out of her way to avoid /provoking/ Gabe and asks Percy to do the same until they can leave for Montauk #and Gabe is just itching for any excuse to keep them home #and imo if Book Sally had said the things that show Sally did to Gabe #Gabe wouldn't have let them gone! #and again im not saying that the show's depiction is nonabusive #or unrealistic #im saying its simply /different/ than the book #and im upset that it doesn't feel like dynamic depicted the book #and no book sally is no simpering wilting flower #but she's also not what they depicted in the show either #pjo adaptation #sally jackson #pjo

[loving-jack-kelly]

Jack Crutchie and Race childhood best friends who took turns sleeping at each others' houses when things were bad at home, who spent so much time together that they practically have their own language, who understand each other so well they don't even have to speak to know what's going on, who are so casually affectionate and loving with each other that all of the have been accused of dating the others more than once, who are each others' stability and solid ground and constant through everything life throws at them.

#and davey coming along and being insecure because how can he compete with these friendships? #while crutchie and race privately worry that davey coming in means they get forgotten #when really what happens is davey gets absorbed as a new part of the group #and it's not the same because how could it be when he doesn't share so much the way they do? #davey will never speak jackcrutchierace the way they do no matter how well he speaks jack because he wasn't /there/ #but he can be there for jack just as solid and steady and true. and he can laugh with crutchie and race. tease them and #joke around with them and let them be part of his life too #he can learn that it's totally normal to wake up to race cooking breakfast in their kitchen when he lives six subway stops away #and totally normal for crutchie to show up at dinner time and sit at the place at the table jack set without being told with words he had t #and crutchie and race settle into the norm of knowing that davey is for jack in a way they aren't and that doesn't mean they're losing jack #it means they're gaining davey #anyway. i love them <3 #newsies #jack kelly #racetrack higgins #crutchie morris

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

One of my favorite things that happened during my last mage Hawke playthrough was during the final battle against Meredith. Everything's going well. We're kicking her ass, she's got just this much health left, we're so close... but then everyone gets stunned dizzy.

Hawke is stumbling around all confused, seeing stars. The rest of his companions are stunned. I'm annoyed because I just want to end this fight. Don't know how or who did it, probably Meredith, but the situation's dire.

Meredith's standing by herself at the center of the Gallows, shouting nonsense and smugly believing the Maker's going to come down and make her his new bride after she murdered a bunch of innocent people.

Truly, this is the part of the story where Varric says they all thought hope was lost, that in the end, Meredith would pull a fast one on us and claim victory...

Until the REAL hero of dragon age 2 comes storming at her. I don't know why Carver was the only one to not be affected, but he literally jumped out of no where and just started bashing Meredith with his sword while everyone else was too dizzy to do anything until she was dead and the cutscene played.

"Hawke defeated Meredith-" LIES, VARRIC. I know the truth! I was there! Hawke didn't do shit! Carver Hawke was the main character all along! He got shit done and Varric gave Hawke all the credit!

I bring this up because last night I finished my warrior Hawke run and when we got to the fight with Meredith, I kind of hoped the same thing would happen where Bethany dashed in all heroic and got the killing blow on Meredith.

She did not.

She got squished by a statue.

But it's fine, Bethany Hawke was the true main character in my heart.

#da2 #dragon age 2 #carver hawke #bethany hawke #da2 hawke #varric tethras #da2 meredith #listen i have so much love for the hawke twins they are the main characters in my heart like yes fine hawke you're there too #but THE TWINS aaaaaaaauughghghghhhhhh #seriously though i'll never forget being annoyed that ed was bumbling around and then watching carver be the only one unaffected #and he's the only one beating meredith and tbh i was cheering him on yes baby brother get her show her how you do it back in fereldan #honestly doesn't it figure though? carver would be the one to deliver the final blow and then be completely overshadowed #because varric has such a hard on for hawke BUT I KNOW THE TRUTH #and it's the same with bethany like this entire run i was so invested in her and i wanted her to set meredith on fire #though this time the fight was actually super easy because i was way more prepared and at a higher level so hawke never got stunned? #i dunno but i wasn't keeping track of bethany during the battle and somehow she did die once... but it's fine she got better #siiiiiigh.... do you know how much i want a playthrough with just the twins? so badly like listen hawke you're neat #but maybe this time you could let the ogre eat you instead? just this once? i love both of my hawkes but the twins?? #hawke twins hawke twins haWKE TWINS HAWKE TWINS #i guess i have to settle for au crafting and fanfic...

[starheirxero]

For the record, I think soooo much about a potential AU where Eclipse really commits to the "false hope" plan and grits his teeth through every act because he's like "the more I seem genuine and the more they believe me, then the worse they'll feel when I finally stab them in the back!!" and every act of kindness he commits is under his idea of "oh man they're falling for my act sooo hard rn"

and then when he's eventually been completely integrated as at least a friend to the celestial siblings, he sits back and goes "man. now would be a great time to betray them right?" and then he finally looks at it all and realizes he doesn't truly want that now and he's just like "oh. oh." and is probably wildly conflicted and emotional about it

#xero says things #xero thoughts and rambles #i can only imagine that there's a MASSIVE breakdown over the fact he's in an okay and happy situation now #because now he doesn't know how to move forward. he doesn't know what comes next. #when he was cruel and evil then he knew that he could expect someone to come for revenge. he knew he could expect the same hatred back. #so now the floor has caved underneath him and there's probably a long moment where he tried to go /back/ to those ways just to feel a- #-sense of normalcy again. but now his feelings and hus enviroment have changed and he can't commit to that as wholly #so it's a slow but steady process of the sibling's getting eclipse a ground to stand on methinks. or smth. yk #tsams #eclipse #sun and moon show #sams eclipse

[sysig]

They’re perfect for each other honestly (Patreon)

#Doodles #Adventure Time #Fionna and Cake #Simon Petrikov #Golbetty #It's not exactly Petrigrof but like - it's not Not that either lol #I'm really really happy that the show acknowledges that Simon was selfish in his and Betty's relationship - it's Very Good #And at the same time in it's small way Beth does give the concession of ''I guess that wasn't exactly [his] fault'' #They're both called out! Betty's obsession with Simon caused her own self-destruction - and she takes responsibility for it #Simon is still shafted with the consequences but it's not like Betty doesn't get her own consequences #This whole journey is just more consequences of both of their actions! Of what Betty modeled she was willing to give up! #And Simon loves her. He respects her. He was selfish and self-driven but that didn't stop her from taking root and inspiring him in return #Her being self-sacrificing and then in her own selfish way not letting Simon make the same mistakes as her I just hhhhh #They're so lovely ♥ #It's a bit matronizing of her haha but she Wants with her entire essence - she always has <3 #It's her turn to be selfish Simon has had his turn - she won't let him throw away her gift as much as he wants to #They're just both so beautifully flawed ahhhhh <3 <3 #''We made our choices. We could've made better ones but...I don't have any regrets.'' #It's about breaking the cycle! Of him rejecting making the same mistakes! It's beautiful ;; #Also all the halo imagery drives me nuts ♥ Angel bf and his cosmic goddess gf

[lord-squiggletits]

Y'know the thing about writing feral/unhinged versions of Orion/Optimus, is that you can't go too far into the feral/unhinged direction to a point where OP's core character traits are lost or become too diminished. After all, in a multiple-continuity franchise like TF, part of what makes the stories make sense is that even if details change (sometimes major details), the characters are still recognizably themselves to one degree or another. (Although this isn't always the case due to executive meddling or some characters being such blank slates from their initial G1 appearances that there's basically nothing to model them off of, but I digress.)

It's pretty much another reason why I love IDW1 Optimus, bc he literally is a canonical feral/unhinged Optimus who's unhinged as a direct consequence of who he is as a person and what he's been through. Like, he still has those fundamental character traits of trying his best to be moral and make good choices, trying to be a role model, etc, except after 4 million years of war and untreated depression he's basically holding onto his sense of self by his fingertips. So when he "goes feral" e.g. losing his temper and beating up/killing people or saying hurtful things, he's feral in a way that's directly tied to his normal personality and not just as a random quirk he has.

IDW OP's feral moments arise from the gaps between "Optimus' attempts to be who he thinks he needs to be" and "the reality of the world that he can't fix/seems to only make worse" that cause him to lose hope, or become cynical, or lose his temper. But in this case, the unhinged-ness makes perfect sense because it arises out of Optimus trying and failing to be the best person or to make the most morally good choices he's trying to make. Basically, the "feral/unhinged" label is just another way of me trying to say that he's not just unhinged because he's weird or because he's a bad person, but because it's an emotional reaction (more like an emotional explosion due to pent-up emotions) to the context he exists in.

I'd also say that IDW OP's personality being generally reserved/stoic and (trying to be) noble works in tandem with those moments he has of going feral because it makes him more realistic. His psyche is treated in a way where the writers are like, "Hey what if the pressure of having to be everyone's idol and be the best person in the galaxy at all times actually broke Optimus down mentally and emotionally?" It makes IDW OP far more relatable. Instead of naturally being a perfect Christ-like figure who never wavers in his morals or convictions and is just naturally a nice person who always has the wisest and best answer, being a good person is something that IDW OP has to consciously strive to be. Even when he feels like it's useless, or the cycle of violence will never stop, or any attempts he makes to help only ends up with things becoming worse.

And I feel like this does a service not only to IDW Optimus as a character, but also as a sort of moral/philosophical perspective for the reader to ponder upon? I feel like culture at large (or at least my experience of it) tends to believe that "goodness" in a person is simply an innate feature that people are born/not born with, and that being "good" means that you must be good at all times, both in your actions as well as the way you feel emotionally about yourself and the world. Like, there's a tendency for our vision of "a good person" to be good in every aspect at all times without having to try to be a good person. So I think IDW Optimus' character stands as a good example of how someone can be good at heart but still struggle to maintain those feelings of optimism and hope and justice. It's a good idea to have such a paragon of a character (in-universe and out-of-universe) be so conflicted and to even be mistaken, misguided, or make things worse because it shows that goodness is as much about "trying to behave/act in a way that is good" and not just "existing as an innately good person."

It's way more realistic for a person to want to be good, try to be good, and sometimes/often fail than it is for them to just be a good person. I enjoy the fact that IDW Optimus is both a good person at heart, but also has to strive to be a good person and live up to other people's expectations of what they see in him. I like how he wants to be a good person and change society for the better, but he also spends a good amount of time either feeling hopeless and alone or being angry at/detached from other people because of how frustrated they make him. He's realistically portrayed as someone who wants to be good and hopeful and change things for the better, but is also mentally and emotionally broken by that burden because of how impossible it is for him to Fix Everything and be the Perfect Prime/Leader/Autobot that people see him as. It's this fascinating mixture of "yes, this is who he is as a person" but also "there are things he desires to be that he could never possibly become or live up to."

This got really far off based from feral/unhinged Optimus sdklfjaslkdlfkas. The TLDR is that if people want unhinged OP, I feel like they should give IDW OP a chance because he IS unhinged but he's unhinged in a way that's a realistic/thematic representation of how being an Absolute Good is impossible. And how being a good person isn't just about Existing And You Are A Good Person, but rather goodness is a constant state of flux in which you adjust, you make mistakes, you lose your temper and feel hopeless, but then you pick yourself up and try again.

Also IDW OP really likes climbing in dangerous wilderness and jumping out of flying vehicles which I think is very feral and sexy of him to do.

#squiggposting #idw op love #idk if i adequately explained it in the body of the post. but i really do feel some kind of way about the idea of like #being a good person isn't about just being static. always being the same person. just naturally being good and nice all teh time #but rather being a good person will cause you to be CHALLENGED and being a good person calls you to ACT #and you WILL make mistakes. there's never a situation in which you're all wise and always have the right solution or are infinitely patient #but goodness is something you can CHOOSE something you can BECOME and you can still have negative emotions and CHOOSE to be good #like being a good person is a continuous process of self improvement. you aren't just born a good person #and i'm not trying to tear down the notion of 'goodness' or say it doesn't exist #rather i'm trying to say that it's far more comforting to hear that you don't have to be The Best Person at all times #it's comforting to know that good people aren't just Effortlessly Good because they were Just Born That Way Naturally #there certainly are some people like that but most of us aren't like that. and i just like idw op for that reason #he shows that like. you can be a fucked up mentally ill guy who despairs and loses his temper and is basically suicidal #but you also still genuinely try to be hopeful and try to help others. like you are good because you Try To Be Good #and you Try To Hold Onto Your Principles bc giving up or becoming evil isn't an option for you #but also trying to be A Good Person drives you fucking crazy bc we live in a universe where that perfect good simply isn't possible #so the result is an optimus who's at once Noble Paragon and Unhinged bc he's unhinged as a result of trying to be a paragon

[theartthatleavesthemark]

i realize this is something of an obvious sentiment to express in a certain light but the more times one rewatches the show the more it becomes glaringly clear that there are very few individuals who actually ever express a philosophical commitment to flint's war to overthrow england. charles does. billy does, although he has his own motivations as well. madi does. jack and anne don't though! not ever! blackbeard doesn't! max, certainly not. and silver? even before he decides to betray flint he never ever says anything even a little bit committed to any sort of animosity towards england. you hit that 3x10 battle and you realize just how few people are actually in it for the same reasons as flint. and you realize that just like flint, just like the crew, just like madi, john silver has also fooled YOU into believing that everyone is on the same page.

#black sails #you just sort of assume! you just sort of go along because everything seems to finally be going the way you want it to #3x10 in a certain light is the narrative high point of the show! but only if you ignore the numerous enormous cracks in unity #john silver stands with flint. john silver is worried! he doesn't want to hurt his partner! john silver wouldn't betray for money anymore! #and yet we still don't know what john silver really feels about any of this. in fact #even at the end #we NEVER know. #i think its also quite powerful that JACK does not actually care about overthrowing england in the same way as flint either #jack tells flint at the beginning that he plans to leave with his treasure at the end #it makes his actions in s4 that much more delicious #and as max says at the very beginning: you realize that the foundations of this revolution are built on sand

[macroglossus]

actually really genuinely makes me so incredibly sick and sad to think of s1 will, who was terrified and losing his mind and no one helped him, especially not the people that he trusted. that line he has that goes "sometimes, at night, i leave the lights on in my little house, and walk across the flat fields... when I look back from a distance, the house is like a boat on the sea. it's really the only time i feel safe." and i think about how scared he was and how he had to leave that person behind, because he would've died, and in that sense he really died anyway

#hannibal #and it's hard because i do like hannibal as a character! and i know that's really what the show is about i.e showing that he doesn't have #the same morals as regular people and he sees will as incredibly vulnerable and with incredible potential. so he targets that potential #and will did grow into that dark potential! but in doing so he had to basically leave a significant part of himself behind #but he was SO SCARED. and completely alone except for his dogs. because every single person around him just wanted something from him #and he was losing his mind! i know in a diluted sense how incredibly hard it is to understand that youre acting crazy and understand that #everyone around you is losing their patience. and so he turned to hannibal. and hannibal betrayed him in really the worst way possible #because he wanted to see what would happen. agh. #and he walked to the edge of the trees anyway and turned back to his little house like a boat and felt safe. FUCK #what im saying is that it really isnt fair but there was no world in which it wouldve been fair really. even a world without hannibal #because the world isnt fair to will graham

[waitingforminjae]

- Behave yourself when you reach Lanling. Don’t cause any trouble with Jin Zixuan, in particular. He is still the only direct line son of Jin Guangshan. He’s is the heir to the Lanling’s Jin Clan. If you two start fighting, how should I respond as the clan leader? Should I help you beat him up, or punish you?

- Isn’t there a Jin Guangyao, now? I haven’t had many interactions with him, but I find him more agreeable than that Flower Peacock.

#literally scene of the whole showwwwwwwww GOD #f: the untamed #the untamed #mdzs #cql #wei wuxian #xiao zhan #jiang cheng #wang zhuocheng #this scene is so crazy like poor jiang cheng just has no idea it rlly doesn't occur to him that jgy and wwx are the same #bc wwx is his brother so ofc it's different! but in the eyes of everyone else it's not it's the same and wwx knows that #and that tension is soooooooo delicious like literally my fav part of the show #is wwx and his class-awareness like he KNOWS he's second fiddle he knows he cannot ever come across as a threat #he MUST be ambitionless #he's so aware of his role as a favored servant even if his own siblings don't see him that way #anyway i could talk abt it for hours it's so fascinating to meeeee

[izloveshorses]

it’s so beautiful to me that what triggers anya’s memory of her past isn’t some big national secret or something inherently tied to the politics of her family or even her social class, it’s just a simple sensory detail of sitting in a carriage on a hot day and catching sight of a boy running after them

#anastasia broadway #anastasia musical #anastasia #dimya #i mean i get that this is the whole point of iacot alksdfj #but like #it's just a small thing?? and that feels so much more honest?? #idk #also like #i know she has Been Through It but the narrative is so gentle to her #like this is just such a kind and gentle way to be reintroduced to who you used to be you know?? #even though the song ends on a sad note it's still a very safe and comforting environment #a boy talking about a hot summer day and it turns out you were there too #and then we can get into the fact that the way he tells stories is exactly what she needed to unlock her memory #bc he uses sensory memories and specific details in the same way we remember childhood #like we don't think about the Overall Things going on at the time but we remember the way the food smelled or the texture of the clothes etc #and that's a much more interesting and Real story to me than anything else they could have done #letting this girl who has survived and endured so much have a moment to just. be. and letting her think about ribbons and a boy #which is why when ppl try to make her a figure either sympathizing with or against the revolution it doesn't work for me #bc it's not a show about revolution it's a show about a girl remembering the way her nanna smells when she hugs her #and in this context. that matters more #idk it's a story for the girls!!!!! #for the girls who don't remember everything but they remember their grandma's perfume and the way the carpet felt under her feet!!

[yellowocaballero]

man, reading ch3 was a ride, it's like all fun and jokes and then all of sudden, Nope! It's time to be sad now! but it's so good with it? like, I really enjoyed how seriously you took it, and that moment in the classroom was really like 'oh shit this is legit' in a way that had my heart just sinking in my chest and with the tone whiplash from the rest of the fic so far, it was just literally so good to read. also, seeing byleth and the rest of the class just kinda grapple with wth to do with dimitri while he's deep in this episode is just very interesting, especially when they all have their own hangups and issues with everything. 👍

YESSSSS. I'm always so excited to post the moment the story actually kicks into gear, and this chapter was it for Weekenders. A lot of fun.

I wrote a post a while back about people's discomfort with writing severe mental illness,

and while I wouldn't say Weekenders is a spite fic, it was influenced by how difficult it was to find non-modern AU fic that wrote Dimitri specifically as somebody on the schizophrenia spectrum/bipolar.

It was so hit-me-over-the-head obvious while I was playing! His entire personality and behavior flipped on a DIME in Part 1, and it flipped 'back' in Part 2. He couldn't switch topics, he was ranting incoherently, he was having headaches, he was doing nothing but training, he obviously wasn't sleeping or grooming, he was convinced a 12yo had orchestrated an assasination - that's not depression/anxiety/PTSD, and it's not even just a psychotic episode (mania does have elements of psychosis, hence the paranoid delusions). And, obviously, the actual hallucinations, delusions, antisocialness, lack of grooming, impulsivity, etc, of Part 2 that rang very loudly of a schizophrenic/schizoaffective psychotic break.

But equally important is the fact that Dimitri's illness did not make him hateful and homicidal. Dimitri was always a hateful person. I don't think he's naturally hateful nearly to the degree that he shows while having an episode, but one of the most important lines in the BL route is when Dedue just says that Dimitri was always angry and hateful, and that he just hid it. His behavior in late Part 1/part 2 is him losing all capability to hide it. I don't think he's a pathological liar, and I don't think the Dimitri we see throughout Part 1 is 'fake' - I just think he withholds a lot. Dimitri's cruelty is just as important as his generosity. His hatred is as important as his empathy. The horrible sides of his illness are just as important as the comfortable sides. Do you see what I mean?

That is what interests me about Dimitri so much. Dimitri wants to be Marth. Dimitri tries to be Chrom. Dimitri dresses up like Roy. He is not. He is an angry, paranoid, brutal murderer. Any depiction of Dimitri that forgets that - that unironically only protrays the Dimitri that he shows the world and never the sides of him that he's ashamed of - is kinda buying what he's selling, and it both demonstrates a deep disinterest in who he is and a discomfort with the sides of his illness that aren't palatable.

Dimitri's psychosis did not make him hateful (I think his PTSD had a lot more to do with his anger problems). It made him scared. Mania and psychosis are a very, very scary experience. His mind is constantly telling him that he's in danger, that Byleth's in danger, that everybody and everything around him wants to hurt and kill him, that he is a sinner if he doesn't avenge his dead family. And Dimitri is a good child soldier, and he knows that we destroy our enemies with prejudice. He's a good leader, and he knows that the BL are never safe and that their enemies are everywhere. He's a good son, and he knows that you have to avenge them. Violence solves problems and Dimitri is scared and angry and if he doesn't solve the problem he can't protect the woman and people he loves.

This is serious to me! I'm trying not to make this THAT long but I could go ooooon lol. I understanding wanting to either make him realistically/explicitly schizophrenic OR make him violent, because violent schizophrenics are a bad and harmful stereotype. But I think both sides of him are important, because I don't want to whitewash Dimitri's illness or his experiences. It's scary for the people around you. It very frequenty is triggered from trauma and hardship and it is informed by your life. Like many characters in FE3H, Dimitri is the product of the evils of his world.

Byleth's arc in this story is about her growing into a human being. It is shown as a beautiful thing. It is wonderful to be a person. It would contradict the message of the story to show Dimitri as anything else but a human being - flaws, traumas, SMI and all. He was Marth to her. That's the point.

I went on for soooo long lol but thanks for the ask!

#my writing #my asks #you didnt directly ask about any of this but ive been itching to say it so love and peace <3 #i think its also worth mentioning that sometimes PTSD uh DOES make you hateful and angry and mean #and that it's. normal? expected? it's not inherently bad rep to show a character w/PTSD and anger issues? #like ppl will write a character w/PTSD but only if they get panic attacks and are sad :( #you know. sympathetic people. #i do think connecting violence with psychosis is bad rep but uh it's EXTREMELY hard to argue his ptsd #i felt this same way about Vash Trigun. #when people wrote Vash as GENUINELY #UNIRONICALLY #the person he pretended to be #it misses the point. to me it demonstrates a lack of interest in the character #you can project onto the self-esteem and depression so that's all the character is #and that doesn't leave room for the parts that are uncomfortable so those parts just don't exist #LIKE NOT A CRIME BUT. #JUST BORING? #BAD WRITING? #ok and to me. on the internet. being boring is the greatest crime of all. #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd

[silusvesuius]

Ur last reply was a canon sneak peek into Ulfric’s brain. Devs decided his true form (vile and unapproachable) would be too much for the fandom. They can barely handle him as he is. But if he had a journal, going through one of the black books would be easier than having to read through all of it, with his “backup plans” in case any of his paranoid delusions came true irl, and they’re never ending and nonsensical and he often goes on a loop when he’s in the process of coming up with them. Everything is full of scribbles and letters that look like they have been written on top of over and over. Clear signs of missing pages. He truly believes that’s his strategy journal. And if he’s not “strategizing” he’s dumping all of his frustrations about all of those people, Elisif being a recent star of his entrie. While Elenwen is probably a main character. I haven’t decided yet for Tulius. And I also have a slight feeling that he idolizes Talos to an unhealthy level and speaks of him as if he meets him every day. Like a sad sad case of parasocial relationships but with a dude who’s 33,333% real and from another era. He probably tears off the entries about himself, they make him physically cringe.

THIS MADE ME LOL SO HARD FDIKVIER4489OT5479T5OU Yeah.....YEAH....... his very personal praying to talos pattern for day number 4873, if he doesn't do it a specific way th*lmor will come to kill him and everyone he knows, there's 7 pages straight of him calling elisif names and belittling her for crying and being traumatized, while he himself is crying as he's writing it and is traumatized, tullius is comes into play later as someone he views to be hollow and as th*lmor-tainted as elisif is. somone once told him to actually write things about himself to get all the feelings out but whenever he starts doing that he gets scared cause it feels like he's documenting torture as a perpetrator of it and just starts writing about people he wishes death upon

#ask #the way tullius would absolutely not be able to stand being around visibly mentally unstable people like being in the same room as ulfr*c - #- would make him itch cause he doesn't know how a person can just sit motionless for 10 minutes not blinking but shaking all at once #and being around elisif would give him chronic migraines #it's different with elenwen because it barely shows on her. he will have to learn some hard life lessons when he gets closer to her and - #- it's way too late to turn back. WATCH OUT

[sastiel-is-my-serotonin]

Sam and Castiel are the type of duo to experiment and manage to make Castiel's wings exist on the same plane as a way to heal properly them.

Cue Sam grooming Castiel's wings.

#And when Sam reveals he's always been able to see Castiel's wings then what? #And asks if it's okay if he can touch them but in the most round about way because he feels as if he shouldn't ask #And Castiel is more than happy to allow Sam to do so #Imagine Sam thinking surely he doesn't see Castiel's wings but when he put the glasses on that they used for hellhounds and he sees them #And they're the same as usual so Sam just assumes Castiel is showing them to him and Dean #But no it's just a Sam thing #It's always just a Sam thing #I have no idea if this makes any sense I'm not exactly coherent right now #sam winchester #castiel #sastiel #samstiel #samcas

[divinekangaroo]

rewatching S6 in bits and pieces for current fic and ahhhhhhhhhh but the whole Jack, Diana, Mosley and Lizzie final dinner is so *viscerally* fucking satisfying on every sensory and intellectual and emotional level of consumption.

#every single movement facial expression breath flick of an eye the choice of 'mosley' not 'mr mosley' #the way mosley says 'lizzie' for the first time #jack's buildup and his mad fucking innuendo just before diana and oswald show #particularly how every drink is taken and by whom and when #lizzie constantly holding herself back the entire time from Saying Something all these flinches and half-breaths #insane #INSANE #as much as the end of S3 is roaringly wrenchingly furiously emotionally good #this dinner is something else #this whole episode is pretty much something else though fffffffffffff #jack's patronising constant reference to tommy as if he's a much younger man/boy when you look at these two guys and jack looks younger?? #by design i am sure #in the scene with the tie before the dinner.the way tommy's face says one thing while facing away from lizzie #then he puts on that mask as he turns to face her and you can SEE HIM DO THAT jesus #it would a writing exercise and a half to actually try to capture that scene in writing and work out what needs to be said/described #to carry the same effect because @coffeeatnight23 -> this scene is totally Tommy ripping his own heart out then eating it with relish :) #it *is* the saddest thing but also a fucking *reclamation* of something that tommy hasn't had since his suicide attempt. there's lots of #small reclamations of self that happen in post-Ruby S6 i seem to recall. despite flicks old trauma/foggy memory wandering also this- #-sort of structural shift/acceptance he is who he is and that is how he has agency (not solely money?) #anyway it's not triumph but there is *something* that i haven't found the word for yet #acceptance is one word but there's something more vicarious and dark in it that acceptance doesn't connote

[touchlikethesun]

rewatching the gay ice skating anime, well-known for being extremely gay, and still getting surprised by just how in love those two are and how many ways they make it as clear as they can without saying the literal words "they are dating and in love" that yuuri and viktor are in fact dating and in love

#yuuri literally says viktors love should be for me alone #he's not fazed at all when viktor brings up kissing - the same man that jumped in the air at the word 'boyfriend' a few eps ago #doesn't show any nervousness doesn't freak out at actually being kissed on live television #the way he teases viktor too... #i'm sorry but they are so dating #and i knew this but rewatching it and being confronted with it again wow just wow #they really did that #yuri on ice #victuuri #yuuri katsuki #viktor nikiforov

[b4kuch1n]

Your swsh art always makes me want to replay the game because i love it and its my favorite pokemon game and every time i play another pokemon game i think of it how i miss certain elements from swsh. Then i boot up the game and im once again caught in the 1 hour 40 minutes hand held intro and im like ah- now i remember why i have been playing other pokemon games instead of this one. Happy (late?) birthday!

you don't want to listen to hop? you don't want to hear him teach you about type matchups? you don't wanna let him cheer u on...? 🥺 waa....?

#ask #bakuspeech #I am joking to be clear lmao #thank u happy bday to me !! #tbh I got real used to pokemon overexpositioning since sumo lol. it's kind of a boon for me #cause I'm not a Gamer™ and my brain takes stuff on Very slowly #so the tutorial stuff and the cutscenes give me time to catch up. also it's still fun to see these guys run around #I am in fact here for these guys lol. weird thing to say about the game built on and with an essential focus on the pokemon I know #I just like humans! I just like watching hop running circles around my player character all excited #and leon being a dick to his hometown people when they're expecting 'leon' back and they get the champion instead #and you get to see sonia used to dealing with it but the frustration never fully fades and how close she is to hop and that picture's bleak #listen this is my bread&butter lol. leon really doesn't show up That much himself around the game he's a shadow casted over the story #it's always interesting to me! does Not mean it's not sluggish to other people who want to play the game lmao #but I like it. also the tutorial at least the first time around was necessary to me bc the difficulty scales way up later on lol #it's a very good first pokemon game I maintain this. sumo never managed to teach me the same way swsh did #I still care drampa tho thank u drampa for being real I love u #lmao it feels like saying I'm not a Gamer™ violates some tenets of having adhd somehow. but its just the case here #the main genres I play are 'itch games tangential to the haunted ps1 people' and 'popcap-style casual games' #my sport's figuring out shapes n movin my stylus sadly. well not sadly why would that be sad