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where-theres-smoak-2 · 28 days

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Dune 2021/2024, Dune 1984 and Dune 2000 miniseries comparison.

After watching Dune part 2 I found out that there were actually other adaptions of the book and so with my curiosity piqued I decided to give them a watch and what I found really interesting was how different each one was, so I figured I'd make a post talking about some of the main differences between the three adaptions I watched. Obviously there are spoilers for both Dune part one and two, the 1984 film and the 2000 miniseries, I ma also going to put a book spoiler warning even though I haven't read the book because I am going to assume that some of the things that were present in the earlier adaptions and missing from the Villeneuve version probably came from the book, but anyway lets jump in.

The Harkonnens

The portrayal of the House Harkonnen is very different in the 2021/2024 films than in the other two adaptions. In Villeneuve's version they come across as much more threatening and terrifying. In the 1984 version they are just kind of disgusting and repulsive, like in almost every scene they are doing something that makes your stomach churn, whether that is having the doctor treating the boils on the Baron's face or Rabban tearing a dead cow's jaw off and munching down on it, uncooked, while making their evil plans. It seemed Lynch was really leaning into them being just repulsive and animal like to the audience.

When it comes to the miniseries they are portrayed in a more ridiculous, flamboyant and over the top, kind of way. They all seem a bit unhinged but it felt more like you were supposed to laugh at them than be afraid of them. It's still clear that they are the enemy that needs to be defeated and that they are brutal but they, in my opinion, also seemed to be portrayed as being a bit dumb, except maybe for the Baron. But you had Rabban who seemed to be just mindless muscle with anger issues, Feyd who often seemed like he was short a few brain cells and was kind of that dumb handsome jock type almost and the Baron who clearly had the smarts to pull off an evil plan but he was very flamboyant and a bit goofy, might be the word I'm looking for, but it was hard to take either the 1984 version or the miniseries version of the Baron very seriously as a scary threat when he was floating around the place like a villain from the power rangers.

In opposition of that Villeneuve turned the Harkonnens into something that was truly menacing and something that seemed powerful. Whilst watching both Part One and Two, I genuinely felt afraid of those characters, it felt like they really were threats to the fremen and to paul and his family. He even managed to make the Baron's floating seem creepy and imposing instead of gimmicky and goofy. I also really liked the change he did where instead of them being overly colourful he put them in black and took the red hair away to give them the bald heads, it made them seem more militaristic and harsh, if that makes sense, I just love that he stripped all the colour from them.

Liet-Kynes

So this one is less a comparison and delves more into theory/possibility mode but I still wanted to talk about it. One of the biggest changes for this character in Villeneuve's adaption is that she is a woman, in the other two adaptions (and I am guessing the book) the character is male. What I found really interesting though was that in the miniseries Liet-Kynes is not only a really respected figure amongst the fremen but also Chani's father. That does make me wonder if the character in Villeneuve's version was supposed to be Chani's mother and they just cut it out for whatever reason? If so then I kind of wish they had leant into that in part two as it would have given her another connection point with Paul in order to build their relationship. He had just lost his father and she just lost her mother, it could have been interesting to see them discuss those losses with each other and to see how they both deal with their own grief. The fact that Liet died helping Paul and him maybe feeling some responsibility or grief over that in relation to her being the mother of the woman he comes to love, could also have been interesting to explore. Another thing that could've been interesting to explore if they had stuck to Liet being Chani's mother was it seemed that Liet did believe in the prophecy yet Chani very much does not, it makes me wonder if there was any tension between Chani and her mother over the prophecy and whether Chani would have some resentment over her mother dying to save Paul because she believed he was the Mahdi.

Ok so I actually did a quick google search just now and it turns out that Villeneuve confirmed in an interview with entertainment weekly that they changed the gender of Liet-Kynes but that Chani was still her daughter and now I bummed out because it feels like such a wasted opportunity to cut that out, but who knows maybe it'll come up in part three, don't think its likely but you never know.

Gom Jabbar Test

So I'll be honest in most things I think Villeneuve did it best, if there is any adaption that I will go back and watch over and over its his. That being said there is one little thing that I think the other two versions did ever so slightly better than the more recent Dune Part One. That's the Gom Jabbar test, you know the creepy box that contains pain. In the 2021 version I understood that Paul was feeling pain but in the other versions they use visuals to show you exactly what kind of pain Paul is feeling. It is so much worse than anything I imagined when watching the scene in the 2021 version. In both the 1984 film and the 2000 miniseries we are shown visuals of the flesh being burned right off of his hand to the point where bone is revealed. It is gruesome and it really made me want to look away but it did also fully make me understand just how much pain Paul was in during that scene, it has now completely changed how I view that scene in the 2021 version because like yikes no thanks.

Jessica

Jessica is actually probably the most consistent character across all the adaptions, although I would say maybe she's a bit darker and more obviously manipulative when it comes to winning followers over to Paul as the Mahdi from the prophecy in Villeneuve's version. However there was one interesting little difference between the 1984 and miniseries versions and the 2021 version and that is the reason why Jessica chose to have a boy instead of a girl like she was instructed to. In the 2021 version Mother Mohiam says that Jessica was arrogant enough to think she could bring forth the Kwisatz Haderach and Jessica doesn't dispute instead just saying 'was I wrong', which is interesting because it implies that even before he was born Jessica planned to install Paul as this messiah figure and it shows her as being much more scheming. But in the other two versions the reason given is simply that she loved the Duke and he wanted a son so she wanted to give him that. I do think that this could have contributed to Jessica's motivations in the 2021 version as well, but having that line saying she wanted to bring forth the Kwisatz Haderach adds another interesting layer to Jessica's motivations.

Alia Atreides

It turns out that the creepy, magical, mystical, talking, fetus baby has a name and its Alia, in the 1984 film and 2000 miniseries she's actually an equally creepy, magical, mystical, talking toddler and not going to lie as creepy as I find her I also kind of love her in a, she terrifies me and she is clearly unhinged but there's just something about her, kind of way. I mean in the 1984 film it is another one of those plot points that they just kind of narrate over, they just announce that drinking the waters of life caused Jessica to go into preterm labour and also made Alia mature much faster. In the miniseries they do go a little deeper into her character and there is this scene where she creeps out a ton of the adults by saying a baby looks like a man that was dead before she was born, after she is talking to her mother and talks about how she hates how they all look at her because its not her fault she knows things and she says she feels like a freak. It reminded me a bit of that scene in Dune Part One in the tent where Paul screams at his mother that she made him a freak. I just couldn't help but feel really sorry for Alia in that moment.

However going back to the unhinged creepy part. Another huge difference between 2021/2024 Dune films and the other two adaptions is the way the Baron dies. In Dune Part Two Paul kills the Baron and its a very serious and dark moment, as Paul slowly pushes the blade into the Baron's throat. But in the other versions its actually Alia that kills the Baron and in both versions it comes across as both creepy and well a bit silly and absurd. In both versions she kills him with the Gom Jabbar needle and the baron, who still has the floating machine thingy on, proceeds to float about the room like an inflated balloon. In the 1984 version after pricking him with the needle she also stabs him I think, but there is this really creepy scene where Alia is just standing there with this blood soaked knife laughing manically.

Another creepy thing she does is get into Mother Mohiam's head which clearly disturbs her alot and its actually Alia that she calls abomination in the earlier versions not Paul. It is very clear that Alia does seem to have a like for seeing people suffering and also seems to have a violent side, like there's another scene in the miniseries where she is sitting at the base of Paul's throne and just smiling and laughing creepily at all the chaos going on around her. I just feel like Alia might benefit from a therapist, just a suggestion.

Obviously the changes to the 2024 Dune part two were made because in this version Alia isn't even born yet. Ironically though I do think you get more of a sense of her character through her talking to her mother and paul than you do in the two adaptions where she is born. But the other versions have made me even more excited to see this character once she has been born in part three. We did get that little shot of her as an adult in Paul's vision played by Anya Taylor-Joy, but yeah I suspect she's going to be an interesting character to watch.

Princess Irulan

This is another character that changes a fair amount from adaption to adaption. In the 1984 film she's another one that really isn't in it a whole amount. She does the narration at points including at the start of the film, explaining the set up and what not, and then she appears at the end of the film alongside her father but she really is not in it, she has such a minor role, Paul doesn't evne ask for her hand in marriage in this film, (but I do think there is a deleted scene of this?).

When we get to the miniseries though she actually has a much bigger role. She meets Paul much earlier in the film when she attends a banquet on Arrakis and she kind of has this flirty conversation with Paul and a little dance, seems like she kinda likes him. She also investigates the attack on the Atreides trying to discover if her father played a part in the attack, she even goes so far to flirt with and seduce Feyd to get him to reveal the information to her. In the miniseries I'm pretty sure it is also her that tells Margot to get pregnant by Feyd and secure the bloodline. Also at the end its actually her that says that the only solution is for her and Paul to wed and honestly, unlike Florence Pugh's version of the character, she seems pretty happy with the turn of events. I found that in the miniseries she comes across as very kind of cheerful, smart and sassy and also has this girlish flair about her, but I still can't decide if I liked her or not.

Which brings me to the 2024 version and Florence Pugh's portrayal. This version of the character did seem to be a bit more serious which honestly fits in more with the darker feel of these later adaptions. I did feel like you got more of a sense of her connection with the Bene Gesserit, there were times in the miniseries where I honestly forgot that she was part of their order, but in the 2024 adaption they did a good job of highlighting that connection. Making that connection clear also makes the ending scene more interesting because she doesn't look particularly happy about being Paul's bride and it does come across as like she only agrees to save her father's life but we know from an earlier conversation with Mother Mohiam that Irulan was already aware that she was going to have to do her part and either marry Paul or Feyd. It just adds that extra layer to that end scene, along with those looks that are exchanged between her, paul and Chani and you can see her putting pieces into place. This is another character that I am curious to see more of in part three. I just hope that they aren't going to try and turn it into some love triangle thing, in the miniseries its made very clear that Paul is devoted only to Chani and that the marriage is only a political one.

Chani (and Paul)

Chani is so different in each adaption, like so different and honestly my favourite version has to be Villeneuve's version because she has just got so much more depth to her and seems so much more of a complex and realistic character, I also think she is a lot more relatable.

In the 1984 version when I say she is barely in it, I mean she has like six lines total. I do think a large part of this was because with that version they tried to do the whole book in one movie and it didn't entirely work. Chani and Paul's relationship consists pretty much of two voice overs, one where the narrator says Paul fell in love with a fremen girl Chani and the second saying Paul and Chani fell even deeper in love, with some shots of them kissing. It was very underwhelming and you really didn't get a sense of their relationship as it was all tell and very, very little show.

The miniseries was a little better as the story was spread over three, one and half hour long, episodes. So we got to see a bit more of the relationship between Chani and Paul and she had a bit more substance as a character although I personally would have liked to see more of her as she still felt a little flat and really did seem to be there as the love interest. One really big difference that caught me by surprise though, is that in the miniseries they actually have a child who they call Leto after his father. Tragically Leto is killed when the Harkonnens and Sardaukar attack their sietch. This is obviously something that doesn't make it into Villeneuve's version of part two and I think that is partly to do with the time span differences, in the mini series years go by as opposed to the eight or so months of Dune Part Two. But it is still interesting that in the miniseries there is this whole new layer to Chani as her role as a mother that we don't see in the other versions. However I do think that the miniseries could have leant more into her role as a mother than they did as she only really has a few scenes with her son before he is killed off. It's even worse with Paul as the only scene you get of him with his son is a long distance shot of him carrying his son. We do see a couple of scenes of him grieving though.

When it comes to Villeneuve's and Zendaya's version of Chani, as I said above, I do think she was alot more fleshed out and she seemed more like a character in her own right rather than just the obedient love interest. I loved that they added in the plot of her not being a believer in the prophecy and how she sees that it is just a plot by the bene gesserit to further control and enslave her people, I think it adds an interesting new perspective that the others didn't have. I also love that she is a fighter and goes on the missions to attack the harvesters with Paul and the others and that she's the one that shows him the fremen ways alongside Stiglar. Not only did it bring her character more to the forefront and give her more to do but because she was actually with Paul it meant they had the time to build their relationship and romance in a way that felt natural. With them being apart whilst Paul was off training and fighting with the Fedaykin, in the earlier versions, there wasn't as much time to spend on building the romance so I didn't really buy into it as much as I did with Dune part two. By making Chani a Fedaykin herself, they could cover both the plot of Paul becoming a fremen and a Fedaykin but also still have the time for the romance.

I also think the ending scene and reaction to Paul embracing the role of Mahdi, overthrowing the emperor and asking for the princess' hand was more realistic in the 2024 version. I never really understood Chani just accepting it in the miniseries version, the engagement part wasn't even in the 1984 version. Chani's look of shock followed by anger in the 2024 version just seemed more relatable to me. I did very much feel like in the other versions Chani was just blinded by love and was meekly following along with whatever Paul wanted and to me personally I just didn't find that very interesting. I am also a huge sucker for angst though and the 2024 ending definitely had that angst. I also think Chani being angry and feeling betrayed adds alot more weight to that scene. Instead of it feeling like a victory its a kind of gut punch as you feel the same betrayal that Chani felt, watching Paul lose himself more and more to this role of Messiah after he promised her he wouldn't. There is also that scene where Chani takes the blue scarf that is supposed to represent her love for Paul off her head and wraps it around her arm instead, almost like its a mourning band, as if she is mourning the loss of the man she fell in love with. Its so much more heartbreaking and also intriguing than the other versions.

Paul's Journey

The biggest difference between all these versions for me though was the character of Paul and his journey into becoming the messiah to the fremen. In Villeneuve's version I thought it was pretty clear that this was a tale about the dangers of blind faith and false prophets. Whilst I don't think Paul is necessarily a villain I also don't think he's a hero. He's a very complicated and interesting character. In that end scene where Paul defeats Feyd and overthrows the emperor, whilst you can feel the fremen's and Paul's sense of victory, as an audience member you are feeling anything but victorious. Me personally, I was still reeling from the change in Paul's character post drinking the waters of life where he seemed much more detached and colder almost, and also from seeing Chani's betrayal and watching him watching her walk away, that moment when it ends on her face and you can see all her anger and hurt with the tears welling up that she is refusing to let fall. I just feel like that end scene had so much complexity and layers to it, that it is different depending on whose point of view you look at it from. I might do a separate post going into that at some point.

But when it came to Paul's journey in the other adaptions I never got the sense that what Paul was doing was wrong. It just felt more like a hero's journey, this messiah come to lead the fremen. He teaches them to fight and helps them defeat the Harkonnens and defeat the evil emperor. I just felt like neither of the other versions really leant into the consequences of Paul leading the fremen into this Holy War, or into the fact that Paul is fully aware that the prophecy was designed by the Bene Gesserit and is just playing the role as opposed to actually believing that he is the Mahdi.

Which version is best?

So to wrap this all up, I definitely think each adaption had it own interesting interpretations of the story and characters as well as intriguing moments, but I would say my least favourite was Lynch's 1984 film. There was just too much story to pack into one film and the last 45 minutes of that film suffered for it. There was a very obvious moment where they just kind of skipped over a large amount of plot and opted for a narrator just giving you the low down on what has happened in this time skip. Coupled with the stomach turning Harkonnen scenes and the lack of Chani, I can't say I will be rushing to watch that version again anytime soon.

The miniseries was a bit more interesting and did a better job with the pacing of the story and their characters were a bit more fleshed out, there were moments where I did have an emotional reaction. That being said I did find it a bit difficult to connect to the characters and really care about them, I do think it was more plot driven than character driven. But it was fairly enjoyable and it passed an afternoon.

But for me personally Villeneuve's version is hands down and by far the best version. I feel like there's much more focus on the characters and how they are reacting to the plot and what is happening around them. I also think the characters are a lot more relatable than the other versions. I also much prefer the darker more serious tone of this adaption. I felt like I had much more of an emotional response to what was happening to these characters than I did with the other versions.

So yeah that's some thoughts I had on all the different versions of Dune. I am aware that there is a follow on series called Children of Dune but I think its covering what might happen in Dune part three of even beyond on that so I don't want to risk getting spoiled, maybe I'll go watch that in a few years time after Dune three has come out, for now I'm just content to go watch dune part one and two a few more hundred times.

#dune #dune part one #dune part two #dune part 2 spoilers #dune 1984 #dune miniseries #chani #paul x chani #paul atreides #alia atreides

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queer-overwatch · 18 days

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venture and junkrat sharing how they chipped/lost their teeth… pls i beg 🤲

Venture and Junkrat storytime

Honestly this was so much fun!!-Xor

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Junkrat has always been one for scar stories, so he always asks. Sometimes the way he asks is rather silly and goofy just silly questions here and there in his usual excitable nature other times it was just a very blunt "tell em how you got that scar"

Venture on the other hand is just at excitable and easy to persuade about scars themselves. They try not to ask about other people's scars unless really really interested.

Junkrat just HAD to ask that new guy Venture they said their name was. He swore that chip in their tooth came from a dinosaur or maybe some giant drill bigger than the one they carry

Venture of course was more than happy to answer stating they got it from biting into a rough geode while trying to keep their reward away from the other way finders for jokes of course.

Junkrat is fully immersed in the story grinning , he's so excitable definitely some mad giggling as he asks questions

Venture is equally as cautious and lightly brings up how both of them have teeth or at least parts of teeth missing.

Junkrat happily , almost proudly goes into his story. It was a firecracker that took out his tooth. As much as it hurt losing the tooth he 100% would do it again

Venture is just astonished the whole time , there's definitely some concern but honestly it's just wild .

Both of them start trading stories back and forth after Junkrat insists he tell Venture about how he met and hired Roadhog, and how he lost his leg.

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And a lively little blurb written by Frisk -Xor

"So uh, teeth ay?"

Somehow, someway, fate decided to put Venture and Junkrat in the same place at the same time, because there wasn't already enough chaos in the world.

"Yeah! Teeth are so cool, you ever seen those cool fun facts that are like 'did you know you can bite off a finger if you try hard enough'? No clue if it's true or not!" Venture had warmed up to him almost immediately. Something about his personality intrigued them! He seemed just as eccentric and extroverted as they were! Though maybe a bit more unhinged- but that could be overlooked!

"I have! And it's true! This one time I was in a scrap with some lady who's name I forgot and I bit off her finger on accident! I won though, so I got to keep it!" Junkrat retells his story enthusiastically, maybe a bit too happy to tell Venture about it but hey, every story's worth hearing once!

"Is that how you lost your tooth?" They gesture to the gap in his smile, completely forgetting how it was considered rude to ask people about scars and such. They never cared when people asked about theirs, so they tend to forget other people *do* care.

"Aw, this old thing? Nah, I blew that baby out myself! Almost swallowed it, but I didn't! Now it's part of a cool necklace I have at home!" Sticking his tongue through the gap as far as he could, and getting spit everywhere, he talks all about how him and Roadhog were trying to bomb their way into a vault and Junkrat decided to try and make the explosion pretty with firecrackers. To put it gently, it didn't go well.

"Oh wow, that sounds painful! That's such a cool story compared to mine though. I just chipped my tooth trying to bite a rock, it was funny at the time, still is if you ask me!" Venture laughs as they get their own story out, eager to tell someone just as reckless as they are all about themselves and the probably stupid things they do!

#venture #overwatch x reader #venture overwatch #overwatch #junkrat #junkrat x venture #platonic #Xornk

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yanderemommabean · 1 year

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can you write something with Cicero??? he’s my absolute favorite goofy jester man and he’s been on my mind so much, he just kinda reminds me of like a feral ginger cat that goes out in the middle of the night and places a dead bird on your bed as an offering to you.

"Uh...Cicero, care if we have a talk?" You ask, tugging on the sleeves of your outfit nervously as the jester comes bounding up with a smile. An almost too wide smile. One that's eager and unhinged, hanging on your every word.

"Oh yes! Yes listener, anything for you! Need someone gutted? Need me to wash the blood from your clothes? Oh oh! Did you finally kill that annoying Jarl out for my head? "

"A...Jarl?"

"Oh don't fret! Tell Cicero what you need, tell him!"

You nod, wanting to put a pin in the fact he's been washing your clothes again when you strictly told him to cut it out. As well as the apparent bounty he has on him from on of the holds. "Well, we're having to disguise for this next mission, and I need to make a few things clear, because nothing can go wrong otherwise we, as well as a hundred people, will be dead"

Cicero nodded, hands behind his back as he listens to you explaining the rules and situation you both will be in. His eyes seemed to hold a dark, bored predator like look as he watched you speak, as if he was simply letting you believe you could control him rather than actually having a hold on him.

"I have to seduce this man. I have to take him to the chambers and then I am to poison him, or at the very least, make his death look like he died of natural causes. Once I'm done I'll run out and meet you-"

"Seduce?" the jester says with a sour expression, hands coming up from his back as he twirls the knife in his hand, tilting his head as his eyes darken. "You're to be touched by a disgusting worm...alone...while Cicero waits and wonders? Oh, poor sweet listener will be with a man who couldn't even please his five wives! Why waste your breath on this one? We could just poison his drink and leave! No dress up required~! "

You swallow, watching as he handles the blade and presses closer to you. "He needs to die in his bedroom. It has to be seen as a natural death in his sleep. Dying from poison in his drink during a party would alert everyone to what happened, and we'd be hunted"

"Aren't we hunted already?'

"Cicero-"

"Oh fine!" the jester sighs dramatically, before cackling bitterly, "Oh poor cicero will have to just wash your body from that filthy pigs touch when we're done! Every delicate inch will be lovingly cleaned, oh yes yes! Don't you worry!"

You just nod, not moving until the dagger was put back in it's holder. You don't think he'd try anything with you but you can't really be sure with his psychotic he can become over the most mundane of things.

You walk back to the carriage and begin to pack some more supplies, listening as the man mutters nonsense to himself, deciding it was best to ignore the asinine things falling from his lips.

((Hi! Hope this was entertaining! -Mommabean))

#Yandere skyrim #yandere cicero #yandere scenarios #yandere imagines #yandere male #mommabean

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blistering-typhoons · 9 days

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Okay, so I watched one or two Rathbone Holmes stories back in high school and decided I didn't like Nigel Bruce, but I've also seen you talking positively about the Rathbone Holmes movies/ episodes. If you're willing, can you say why you like them and/ or which you would recommend starting on? Is it a series to watch in broadcast order, or are they more stand-alone? Which ones are your favorite? I want to give it a second chance.

hiya, thanks for the ask :D adding a cut here cuz this post got realllyyy outta hand- so so sorry xD

I wanna preface by saying that I totally get the frustration of Nigel Bruce Watson- as much as I've come to care for this portrayal, there are still moments of disappointment? I feel? Mostly once you see all the potential in him before it gets unceremoniously dumbed down for the sake of comedy, and it can be trying sometimes, but I've learned to breeze past those moments and! There are definitely movies where he shines brighter than others! In the end, you may warm up to him or you may not, but I fully commend you on taking another chance :D

I did not really start off in broadcast order (my ass still hasn't seen rathbone and bruce's HOUN- bloody disgraceful lmao) and mostly watched in order of vibes, which seems to have worked out alright xD

I started off with Scarlet Claw, and after rewatching it this morning, I feel like it's an alright place to start! It's a good sort of mystery and there was enough element of equal partnership to get me invested in Holmes and Watson. But, I'd say it's still pretty lukewarm, enjoy it as I do, so to compound this long ass post lemme throw a list at you real quick of rathbone movies i strongly recommend-

The Pearl of Death:

Starting off with Pearl of Death not only for the 'Watson gathers the braincells' quality but because it's one of the genuine classics in the series- a brilliantly crafted movie from start to finish, and in my opinion, one of the better shot ones. This one is a good start, it's a bit slow in some places, but it's a good, neutral film that showcases I think some of the more concrete themes and brilliancy of the movies.

House of Fear:

I honestly dunno if I'm biased about this one, but it is genuinely one of my favourite movies of all time. It's the very second one I watched, and it's still in my nighttime viewing collection- I fall asleep watching this movie, which is a compliment I swear. Watson has a more active role, is genuinely trying his best for most of the runtime and falls more in line with 'genuine failure to succeed' more than just 'bungled it up for a gag'. It's a really, really excellent mystery and I adore Holmes and Watson's dynamic throughout- 10/10, freaking banger movie.

Pursuit to Algiers:

Then, of course, the Big Daddy herself- Pursuit to Algiers. This one falls less in line with a mystery (our baddies become pretty clear at one point) and more suspense, but man is that a good thing. The dang thing takes place on a boat for most of it, Holmes and Watson are attached to eachother like pairbonded shelter dogs and have the most balanced, affectionate of interactions, Watson gets to sing! And not to give away any spoilers (yeah shush, i know the movie's old) but a particular plot point happens in this movie and as a result, Nigel Bruce gets to do a genuinely heartbreaking piece of acting- seriously, there is a shot where he goes out onto the deck, completely silent of music and just looks out into the ocean that still has me unwell even after all this time. Goofy moments still happen in the movie, but they feel more organic, and overall there is a wonderfully grounded approach to Watson here- he's still silly, but it's a fun silly, and a silly that Holmes indulges in with him. The depth of affection between these two is ASTOUNDING in this movie, bloody unhinged behaviour. Great movie, do watch it :D

I'd say those three are, at least in my opinion, the best of the best! I do enjoy the others, but I think it best to venture into those once an affection has been developed, they do strain the patience a bit at times I'm afraid. (And it goes without saying, some of the movies have a definite propaganda vibe to them, which is charming sometimes and sometimes just grating, really depends on the day i think- none of the three movies listed above fall under this category though- and the of course, general warning for all the really poorly aged 1940s stuff, but you know that :>)

Except The Spider Woman. In really the bluntest of terms, fuck that movie, all my homies hate The Spider Woman, do NOT watch it (i'm only half joking, oh god its so bad)

Anyways, uh, sorry lmao-

I really must thank you for letting me put this incredibly useless knowledge to use, I'm so goddamn sorry it came out in this absolute massive scrawl- I wish you all the luck in your rathbone holmes adventure, and I hope you have an illuminating time either way it goes for you :D

#jesus christ the size of this lad #anyways those are my two(hundred) cents i really hope it helps!#if anybody has any other perspective feel free to share #and i know i was kinda hard on my boy watson here #but it is only because i love him so much i must bully him (jokE A JOKE)#number one girlfailure in my heart <3 #sherlock holmes #john watson #rathbone holmes

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animeyanderelover · 1 year

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Everyone, I’m having a Kamisama Kiss Mizuki brainrot so here you go!

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, stalking, clinginess, touchiness, jealousy, paranoia, abandonment issues, manipulation, gaslighting, guilt-tripping, threats, abduction

Yandere Mizuki Hc’s

🐍Considering that his land god has died on him and that Mizuki has led a very isolated and sheltered life so far, the shikigami is very obsessive. He takes interest quickly and doesn’t see the wrong with stalking you in his snake form and it doesn’t take long after his interest started to develop a crush and from there on an obsession. He spins down the rabbit hole fast but is ecstatic about it. It’s been so long for him after all since he’s had someone. Mizuki makes quick work to remember everything about you such as your favorite meals and your preferences in order to start preparing everything for you. After that Mizuki grows very clingy, bumps into you by accident in his human form and is especially touchy if he has you finally for himself. Stalking is only an option when he can’t be with you since he has terrible separation anxiety and wants to be with you 24/7. He panics quickly when you’re gone for a while and if he doesn’t see you for a hour he’s likely to suffer a mental breakdown where he just bursts out in tears and starts frantically searching for you.

🐍He’s incredibly possessive due to his anxiety to be left alone and also extremely jealous. He literally can’t stand anyone besides himself near you and despises everyone who has a place in your heart and whom you might love more than him. It’s things like that that lead to him sheltering you pretty much too, delusional enough to insist that you two have each other and that this is all you need. He‘ll take good care of you after all! He’s even memorized everything you love and enjoy and has started practicing your favorite hobbies too so that he can do them together with you! Despite his goofy facade he tends to put on, Mizuki is terribly manipulative. He’s emotionally gaslighting his darling a lot, not ashamed to pull the tear card on them and beg on all fours for them to not leave him. If he’s really desperate, he’s even unhinged enough to threaten to harm himself or others if you would ever leave him or not accept him.

🐍He’s petty and jealous of everything that breathes under and above the skies. Mizuki wants his darling to pay attention to only him, wants to be the only one they truly adore and love the most. It isn’t that much of a problem if you’re in the shrine since it’s only you two there. If this is still during the earlier stages of his crush, he either scares people away in his snake form or manifests white snakes to scare people away from you. If he’s decided to take his darling out, he clings to them due to his inexperience when it comes to the city. He’s clutching their hand tightly out of his possessive instincts though and is intensely glaring at someone with an unnerving glint in his eyes if they try to do as much as approaching you. He threatens the humans later on privately too with a twisted grin on his face, not afraid to show what he really is.

🐍Mizuki relies a lot on threats and manipulation, he’s quite cunning and uses his snakes as spies. He wouldn’t kill anyone though. It could draw unwanted attention from others and he doesn’t need that. If he knows that his lover doesn’t enjoy the thought of him killing humans, he’ll try to hold back too in order to make them happy. A lot of time, he spends with his darling in the shrine anyways. So there is little to no human contact during those times anyways. That said though, Mizuki is relatively easy to trigger and as obsessed as he is, he can certainly become deranged enough to commit the act of murder with a gleeful glimmer in his snake eyes. You don’t need to know about that though, staying oblivious so that you can be happy with him is after all the best option to ensure a happy future with you.

🐍The snake shikigami tidies up the abandoned shrine, designs it as good as he can to your liking and fawns over the image of you living happily with him in your new home. Mizuki doesn’t see this even as an abduction, too infatuated and fixed on his dream of a future together with you. This is merely a new beginning for you, the start of a better life for you. Due to the stalking him and his snake servants did, he knows the routes you take. He’ll quietly wait for you when you take a rather lonely route and take you with him then. He’s already ordered his servants to bring you your things from your home so you feel quickly comfortable in your new home.

🐍Mizuki wants to wed his darling to himself, is literally calling them his spouse and refers to himself as your husband already. Good chances are that he also marks you so that other shikigami, on the rare chance that you do meet one, know that you’re already taken and protected. Mizuki is sensible to your emotions, genuinely upset and hurt if he couldn’t do something you asked him for and quick to cry. If he makes you cry, he has a meltdown as his confidence is shattered and it needs a lot of affection and verbal affirmation from your side before he starts feeling better again.

#yandere kamisama kiss #yandere kamisama hajimemashita #yandere mizuki

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lightamp · 7 months

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let's rate red hood costumes

if i forgot smth lo siento. just let me know, there are so many of these and i am one creature

this is just for fun btw. nothing serious here! <3

now these are all comic canon red hoods (except maybe two? we'll get to them). no alt universes. maybe one day.

now on to the costumes

Hush Jason. Maybe not technically Red Hood but like. c'mon. close enough

i'm giving the rating 6/10

I know the trench coat was probably more for mr. hush himself, but i enjoy it. i'm also a filthy pouch lover so they do get points. also in red! cute. the boots are also neat. the negatives are that ugly robin dress/tunic thing. kinda silly. still it was good for giving bruce a spook.

2. the classic. the og. red hood utrh version!

9/10, easy. the casual outfit paired with the sleek red helmet. *mwuah* wonderful! nothing bad to say. it's recognizable. comfortable. stylish. great job all around

3. titans tower. ah.

-10/10. i would give props for running around in the scalies BUT THE UGLY ASS YELLOW TIGHTS. disgusting. bare his legs to the world you cowards. i'm mad. this could get at least 7/10 for sheer moxy if it weren't for those hideous target brand pantyhose

4. brothers in blood.

he's literally just copying dick, but being unhinged as hell about it.

5.5/10. he looks good. who doesn't in nightwing's fit? though he is copying, he does get points for obsessive weirdness of it all.

bonus?

???/10 i don't know how i feel. i've never known how i feel about this.

5. final crisis

i think he had a helmet in this arc and it broke but dont quote me!!!! pay me to read final crisis again if you have an issue.

he spends most of his time in jeans + leather jacket + just the domino

this is probably the most boring but i give it a 10/10 my boring ass loves it. no dressups just a guy in a shitty little mask. clapping. bravo. there's something ~thematic~ bout it

6. final crisis pt 2

1/10 i hate the red robin suit i hate it i hate it. we finally got tim out of the damn thing even though it came at too high a cost (he's trapped in robin purgatory). it does look okay in wfa, but usually in dc reg comics it looks like ass.

regardless jason looks bad in it too. very sweet of murdery bruce to give it to him but ugh. at least could've given him some ears on that mask. then it couldve been bumped a point

7. batman

the first time jason decided to wear a muzzle. hm.

6/10. there's nothing wrong with it. it's just a bit generically 'what would gun batman look like'. the face part is my favorite, with the weird grater muzzle, pointy ears, and red glowing eyes. it's fun

8. batman&robin

i need to get my first thought out. the little symbol on his chest reminds me of homestuck. i can't really unsee it. i know like theres no connection. but it looks like it could belong on a homestuck human

anyway. 3.5/10. he was willing to try something totally new, so i'm giving points. i enjoy the white. is the red hood goofy af? yes. yes it is. iconic, though? sometimes the upper black part is drawn lower, i've noticed. it doesn't change much for me.

i like the thigh highs going on here. the red guns are sexy!. he looks bad but there are good things here!!!

there is this version, which ditches the thigh highs, gives back the classic helmet, removes the cape for a jacket, and adds belts.

6/10 i think it fixes a lot about the prev costume, though it's really just like they threw utrh's costume and his previous batman&robin costume in the blender lmfao

wow flashpoint. father todd is not a red hood, so we progress.

9. nu52

an update on the og look. i do like the contrasting brown jacket, the prominant thigh straps. sometimes his helmet is drawn suctioned to his face so -2 for any of that cause it's so weird

8/10 not a bad update to the classic.

10. red hood/arsenal

i dont remember when he changed into this actually. in my head it's rh/a but i could be wrong.

i see no one talking about this abomination. his new fit? yah. this one? no?

4/10 the bottom of this is fine. i HATE the jacket. sorry it's just. ugly. his arm bands are also clunky. the matching between arsenal and red hood is nice though. so it didnt get too low. roy pulls it off better :(

11. wingman

hm. i didnt read this. this makes me not want too akdsfhsl

0/10. ugly. looks like a villain in some scifi thing in the 90s. like power rangers. sentai villain looking ass. boring grey, ugly lines and shapes, the goofiest helmet on earth......

ig willis is burdened with this curse now

12. 3 jokers (dubiously canon. i dont consider it so but since dc left it in the air we add it)

he has a helmet for a bit. this one is interesting bc i could actually see it as a futhering of his costume had he lived. sans helmet ofc. it's hard bc i don't not like this, i just feel it doesnt fit his aesthetic in the present day. 5/10. if jason had lived and not become red hood id rank it higher but then we wouldnt be here, would we?

13. batman's gift

i debated putting this, but it's different enough from the nu52 vers

very fun. body armor all over. i like the red arm guards here unlike w/ the prev one that had these (less bulky ?). i like the leg stripes.

it doesn't really do much to change his look, but there are differences

7/10

14. task force z

it's like the above but more just body-armored. really all he's done is remove the jacket and get shoulder pads. 6/10. the negative point is for the lost jacket :(

bonus

7/10 i did say if he ditched the tights i'd rank it higher (twas all a dream through lmao)

15. current

controversial of me, but i think. i think it's fine.

now i do agree his little hoodie is.........well it's not that great. my least favorite part tbh.

the new brown pants nicely contrast, though i have seen this costume with grey pants too?

here we are. The red bandages are fun, i think if they were white i'd hate 'em but the red is interesting. i also like when bits of them are sticking out. idk. cute detail.

i like the muzzle mask as well. that with the hood has given us delightful in shadow!jason where only his eyes glow out. i also like when artists put his white hair tuft out. adorable. probably not what he's going for but that's what the creature no face look is for

really the hoodie is the one thing i'm ??? on. it looks silly in a bad way. there are ways to keep a red hood while giving a better jacket/vest. future state's was much nicer.

7.5/10

this wasn't in the ratings but i do prefer any weapon beyond the crowbar sigh. it starts showing up through a lot of them so i decided to just not do anything about the score.

#jason todd #red hood #dc

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eshtaresht · 1 year

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holy. fuckin'. DAMN. I was pretty good at predicting the plot so far, but this episode proved that stampede is going in a whole new direction for real. spoilers for ep 9!!! (and manga a bit)

first of all, we still haven't got a full story of the great fall, but I think it's something they'll reveal in this season, probably during confrontation with knives. and still no scar reveal!! I'm angy but it's something that could be relevant to the standoff with knives, hope we'll get it

the piano scene... oh we're eating GOOD, it's just so wholesome but goes to confirm my theory that twins weren't completely fine on the ship. vash feeling useless because he can't do cool plant shit, knives envying vash for being good at human shit.... oh it's great

so glad knives is getting proper characterization and not just "he evil because he evil"! the fear, the hurt, the genuine care for vash, but then frustration with him – it's right there and I'm eating it up so yummy

the way they recontextualized vash's arm loss is GORGEOUS! I've seen ppl reading this scene differently, but to me it was an act of care from naï. he looks really scared for a reason: we see that the gate consumed all matter, including the hand. vash couldn't control it, so it would only grow bigger and destroy him. NAÏ REALIZED THIS AND SAVED VASH THE ONLY WAY HE COULD

he didn't want to fight him, this was not an act of anger, like in previous versions. all he cared about in that moment was saving his twin..... and what did he get in return? a gun pointed to his face. a gun he gave vash to kill human scum. oh, the DRAMA

ahem, now to the less intense stuff

homeboy has so much trauma, like, damn... how is he gonna fit any more from his impending epic brother fight...... I'm quite curious on how they're gonna characterize him in the next season. concidering that we're taking off earlier than previous versions, he might end up with the same unhinged vibe 98' vash had, as a coping mechanism (if depression didn't work, try dissociation and silliness). but then it would be even more interesting to see meryl's and wolfwood's reactions: they knew him before the accident and saw the big sad

vash has sense in the prosthetic arm, so it must've hurt when he damaged it... probably it hurts less than the real one, and it's clearly painless to take off. but the hand seems to be rather sensitive and fic writers are gonna go crazy for this

age reveal! also brad and luida being in cryosleep makes sense, I was racking my brain on how they're still alive. seems like they're using much more plant power tho... both for cryo and the vegetation, while in manga they tried to keep it as low as possible and send signals to earth

saw someone say that they're probably not doing that here because the earth is destroyed... could be that they decided to go the hard way. but in the manga the earth was still fucked, and it wasn't clear if they communicated with the ppl left on the planet or the fleet that was in some new place. what I'm saying is, there is a possibility that they are looking for help in stampede, we just don't know it yet

meryl was so cute! go off, comedy relief goofy girl, while you can, there is more trauma coming your way :3 yeah, enjoy roberto calling you by your first name... oh it would be such a shame if he gave you his derringer before his untimely death..........

pretty weird that nobody knows why they fell on no man's land, but ppl probably were too ashamed of their past and 150 years later the new generation is oblivious. also so funny that luida has to explain what vegies are..... they have so many plants but haven't see any plants

tbh I wasn't expecting the zazie twist at all, but I'm excited! they are SO gender in stampede, might be the best redesign in the series, love me a genderless bug creature with bold fashion choices. really cool to see that storyline adapted, it was barely touched upon in the last volumes of trimax

btw the multiple bullets story about a plant, worm and human who went around figuring out if their species could coexist and just.... creating this foud family and then building a town there all were equal...... that's my favorite mb story for sure

wolfwood saying "I'm not your friend"... I know what you are. and we got a "you'll have to decide one day"... oh oh the misery, but the context was lacking. it just doesn't hit the same when he isn't daring vash to shoot him in the most homoerotic way possible. on and he looks so goofy trying to ride with his cross

in the last ep's rant I assumed that luida lied about rem saving everybody for some reason?? but no, she actually saved them, I just got a bit confused

so, as I predicted, the gang separated (tho not because of vash) and by the end of the next episode vash'll be in july and meet naï. the poster, man.... that gorgeous futuristic city is getting obliterated for sure

btw vash's gate being opposite to knives and sort of a black hole is nothing new. but there are new layers to this, like vash willingly giving away energy, but destroying things against his will, and knives with the opposite of this. ying yan twins go brrrr

#such a blast of an episode although the middle part on the seeds ship was kinda boring #stampede make more than one model for background chatecters challenge: impossible #every new episode is finding a new way to destroy me.... the season finale will be the death of me #trigun #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #meryl stryfe #millions knives #trigun spoilers #trigun stampede spoilers

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brandnewhuman · 2 years

Text

THE SLASHERS

GETTING HUMBLED

Again

☆STARRING☆

Asa emory ☆ beefy man with too much confidence

Michael Audrey Myers ☆ he's called Audrey and is a dumb bitch with anger issues. He didn't picked a struggle and now he's paying for it

Jesse Cromeans ☆ Mr worldwide who spent a whole movie chasing the most stupid woman in this world just to get his face fucked up

CONTENT:

Tw: Asa and Michael? Damn, double homicide. Canon violence, mature language

A/n: @theultimateasseater asked for a reader with bayonetta like powers and I should deliver. I just love bullying slashers without any fucking reason.

ASA EMORY:

He wish he could say this was not being the most humiliating experience of his life

Kinda fun too tho

You were obviously one of his victims

He hasn't spent too much time observing you as he usually would cause it was a kind of on the moment decision. He was following someone else when he noticed you

Bro was too cocky for his own good

Our ever so nice bug man thought it would be easy to just traumatise you in your own house

My man got traumatised back

He was that one insect exterminator you called to help you with a ant problem in your bathroom

He was basically having his silly goofy time messing up with your house security alarms to be able to access later without problems

But my beefy boy didn't took in consideration you were a step ahead of him

By the time he came back to your house at night you already knew he has sabotaged the security system

Now you being as unhinged as this fuckers is you really thought it would be funny to fuck around with him and hurt his ego a little bit

Bro got humbled so hard he could've cry

It all started with you dodging every single trap without committing a single fucking mistake

Beginners luck he thought and tried harder

All fun and games until you literally started to openly bullying him

"You took all that time and put so much effort into getting inside my house just to put these shitty traps? You really suck ass man.."

He took that very personally tbh

My man was done with trying to play around, now he just wanted to kill you and get this over

He was so angry is not even funny

After countless hours of getting his ass kicked he had to admit defeat and just go cry at home

Just when he was starting to recover from that shit you decided to just try to find him and to keep being the pain of his existence

Just for funsies you started by spooky him in his OWN HOUSE.

You go girlboss

Once he found out it was you he was about to end it all

Admittedly he found so fascinating your abilities and if you were less able to overpower him he would've study you

Please have some mercy with this man

When he finally had to accept the fact that you were not going to leave him alone his more nerdy side started to surface

He pestered you with questions and tests ecc..

Congrats now you're his new favourite toy

He treats you like a fucking pet but hey, at least he's nice to you

Eventually he would ask you to help him with the victims cause he knows you would be really good at hunting them down

Now you two are being unhinged together

MICHAEL MYERS:

With Michael could go two ways

Either he gets super angry or he doesn't care

I mean he has been chasing Laurie and both seemed to do their best in making everything harder than it should be

It's funny cause he's pretty sneaky too even if he can't really stop time or anything

So the whole time is basically you and him just being stubborn to the post where both of you just look stupid

You stalk him he stalks you

The amount of times you had like really startle him is ridiculous

He for the life of him couldn't figure out how the fuck you moved so fast

Audrey here is finding the world really unfair lately. You cam move at the fucking speed of light while he has to slow down if he doesn't want to lose his consciousness rights

When he tried to break into your house he got punched, kicked, pushed..you name it

I think eventually he would lose interest or in alternative would keep trying and would get obsessed with the thought of killing you

If he loses interest and you keep annoying him he would eventually have to get used to you

If he becomes obsessed well rip i guess bro

Honestly the fuck are you doing poking fun at the shape of haddonfield?

He would try to learn from you tho cause he wants to get that good at being sneaky so yeah you will catch him watching you a lot

PLEASE HE WOULD BE SO OFFENDED IF YOU SCARE HIM

the moment you pull a prank on him and successfully sneak up on him making him audibly gasp from surprise he's DONE.

you're done, you're done

I have to say it's almost so disappointing how fast he gest used to this shit

Like we get it, you're too cool myers but geez

You traumatise him so bad he's always checking behind him in case you're following

JESSE CROMEANS

Mr baldy man is having so much fun with you

I think he's the only one who sees you and your abilities as something that can make the kil and chasel even more interesting and funny for him

He managed to get you like he did with Princess so you wake up in one of those musty ass coffins he likes

He was expecting some dumb victim that gets killed almost instantly but when he sees you're taking all the right choices to survive he gets intrigued

He's like "damn, shawty is kinda good at this"

You even manage to dodge him without having to hide

The line is drawn when you make him fall on his ass while he tries to stab you.

He is like "ight ENOUGH FROM THE CLOWN"

One second you're in front of him the next you're behind and he's falling forwards face first

He can't decide between being all horny because of how hard you're to get and from the anticipation of what he will do to or to get just downright angry and become a menace to society by killing every single person on sight

He obviously picks the first one cause the first he finally gets his hands on you he's practically vibrating

But then he stops cause all the fun is gone and now he has to actually kill you

What a bummer when a victim that you want to fuckin slaughter is having a silly goofy time running away from you and you end up actually catching them so now you have to kill them

HE LITERALLY WALKS AWAY. NOT A SINGLE WORD OR ANYTHING

he looks at you and then starts to walk away like nothing happened

Obviously you were having none of it so like the rational person you are you decide to chase down the person that wanted to kill you

The look he gives you omg

Like "Oh no, they're one of those" EXCUSE YOU. HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS HAPPEN TO YOU?

he avoids you like the plague until you finally manage to corner him

Corner him for real, you're caging this motherfucker against the damn wall

He's like 🧍🏻‍♂️ "Oh no, the strong and sexy victim who can literally stomp on me has trapped me, what a shame…anyways care to fuck"

HE WOULD BE LIKE THAT AND YOU CAN'T TELL ME IM NOT RIGHT

HE'S SUCH A BOTTOM WHO TURNS EVERYTHING INTO SOMETHING SEXUAL

HE'S WORSE THAN ALL OF YOU UNHINGED FUCKERS ON MY BLOG

Jesse is THE simp.

If you actually end up fuckin him or not is up to you

I personally would. I mean he's rich, he's hot and wants to get fucked up both in bed and outside of it? Save me a fucking slice thank you

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kissmyspaceace · 1 year

Note

Ghestie, first, I love you and your works and second, I got a lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’ as a fic suggestion or idea AND I PROMISE IT’S WHOLESOME (unlike my unhinged tags that you see shhh)

Ok but consider a tricycle date with Copia or a cemetery date with a Papa

THANK YOU that's so sweet aaaaaaaa ( ";A;)<3 *cracks knuckles* TRICYCLE DATE HERE WE COOOME! this took me a little while, sorry for the delay

__________________________________

Three Wheels For Two

Pairing: Cardinal Copia/Reader Contents/warnings: tricycle content, fluff, goofiness Word count: 2.029 AO3 link

You strut down the halls of the ministry with a sigh. Today was a total bore, you had already finished your assigned tasks for the day and looking around for more things to do had proven to be unsuccessful so far.

The laundry had been taken care of by four other sisters, the kitchen was clean, the pathways had been cleaned and the floors had been swiped. Sister Imperator had not needed your help any more for that day, either. You decided to stroll through the halls in hopes to find something to do, and in case you wouldn’t, you'd just go to the library to study. You didn't feel like studying, really - your head was still smoking from yesterday's Latin recitals with Papa Secundo.

You turned another corner, lost in thoughts, when you suddenly heard a loud crashing noise from somewhere behind you. It seemed to have come from near the chapel. You hurried to the next corner, and planned on looking for the origin of the noise. The voices you heard then caused you to stop.

"Sorry about that, Papa", you heard a familiar voice speak.

"The ministry is not your playground, Cardinal!", an older voice scolded.

"Right, right."

Squeaky noises followed, and around the corner came Cardinal Copia on a small tricycle.

He did not expect you to stand where you did. He most likely did not expect you to be there, at all. Neither did you expect him to move at the speed he did.

His eyes widened as he realized that impact was inevitable, and he internally braced himself for the uncomfortable conversation to follow.

Attempting to step out of the way in a last effort, your robe got caught in the tricycle anyways, also hitting your legs in the process - sending you to the ground with a harsh landing.

The Cardinal stopped abruptly and in an exceptionally clumsy fashion, since the tricycle did not appear to have properly working brakes, and climbed off to scurry over to you.

"Oh Satanas! Eh, I- I am so sorry. Oh no, oh no", he babbled in a panic, "Are, eh, are you hurt? I'm really sorry."

You pushed yourself up. Your shins told you that you'd be expecting some bruises, but other than that you felt fine. Cardinal Copia kneeled down next to you, putting one hand on your shoulder, examining you. "Sorella, I did not expect to meet you here. Are you alright?"

You couldn’t help but giggle at the situation. "Cardinal, please don't worry. I'm okay. I apologize for startling you", you replied, attempting to get up.

"Ah, eh, let me help you, please", he said, putting an arm around you and taking your hand in his, gently guiding you back onto your feet.

"Thank you, Cardinal."

A small blush crept up on your cheeks. You'd worked with him countless times before, even shared some nice private conversations with him here and there. Aside from the occasional handshake or fistbump, there had never been any physical contact between the two of you, however. You adored him, you couldn’t deny it. He was an interesting man, a little awkward in the way she spoke and presented himself - but that was just part of his charm.

"Not for that, cara", he shook his head, "I should be thanking you for not ripping my head clean off!"

"Oh, why should I do that? I believe it was an accident."

He nervously fumbled with his gloves. "Yes of course, but… eh, I messed up nonetheless, no?"

You laughed and shook your head. "No harm done."

"I do feel bad, sorella. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? Help a man silence his guilt, cara. Please", he pleaded, taking your hands in his.

You furrowed your brows, thinking. This may not be that much of a bad idea.

Perhaps he could help you find a solution to your boredom, and end your journey of wandering through the halls aimlessly. Your eyes wandered over to the tricycle, and a smile crept up on your lips.

"Cardinal, I think I know of something. Tell me, can two people fit on this thing?"

Several moments later, you and the Cardinal both somehow found a spot on his tricycle to fit in - he was on the seat as usual, and you were standing on a little ledge between the back wheels, holding onto him by his shoulders.

"Eh, are you sure about this?", he asked hesitantly, turning his head a little.

"Yeah! Absolutely! Go, go, go!"

You squeezed his shoulders in excitement, and he smiled. "Alright then, cara. Hold on and don't fall."

With that, he started pushing forward. Soon, you felt a slight breeze on your face as you were zooming through the corridors of the ministry. At the first turn around a corner, you nearly lost balance, causing you to wrap your arms around the Cardinal for more support.

You didn’t notice but a blush crept up on his cheeks at the sudden closeness. He felt your chest pressed against his upper back, and your breath in his hair. Your excited giggles were the only thing he could hear right then, like music to his ears. Like a sweet melody for him and only him.

He absentmindedly picked up speed and it turned out this would be what would eventually be the cause of his third accident of the day, as the two of you turned a corner a little too quickly and lost balance, sending both of you tumbling to the ground with a loud crash. You took a small shelf down with you, while Cardinal Copia sent a pile of folders and papers to the floor with his shoulder.

The noise of the impact and its aftermath echoed through the ministry. The two of you were busy collecting yourselves off of the stone floor, when you heard an angry voice rumble through the halls:

"What was that?!"

The Cardinal and you exchanged a wide-eyed gaze and froze in shock for a second. The voice sounded very much like Papa Secondo. And nobody in the whole ministry would want to encounter an enraged Secondo. It was a commonly known displeasure amongst members of the clergy.

No words were needed to remind one another of what the two of you might face if you wouldn’t be able to get away in time. In the distance, you could already hear quick, heavy footsteps growing closer.

In near perfect synchronization, both of you hurried onto your feet and jumped back onto the tricycle. Copia took off with all his might, now acutely focused on making it as far away as possible from the chaos you had caused. Luckily, the high speed seemed to minimize the squeaking noises of the tricycle, allowing the two of you to disappear into the many halls of the building, into the main hall and outside onto the ministry grounds, making a sharp turn into the gardens. Stopping in front of large bushes, the Cardinal motioned you to get off. In a swift move, he grabbed the tricycle with one, and you with his other hand, dragging you behind the bushes. There the two of you sat for a while, panting. Hiding from a possibly very pissed off Secondo. At this point you didn’t even know whether he had even chased you. You didn’t know if he was onto you or not. Maybe he hadn’t even gotten the chance to chase you. You were able to peek through a few leaves, getting a view on the large door you’d previously escaped out of. As it opened with a loud bang, you flinched. In the doorway stood Papa Secondo, scanning the area. Holding your breath, you turned your head, hoping he wouldn’t see you. Out of the corner of your eye you could see that Copia was holding his breath as well, visibly distressed.

After a long moment, however, Secondo let out a frustrated snarl, shook his head and went back inside. Even after the door had closed, nobody dared to move a muscle. Not until you were absolutely sure he couldn’t see you anymore. A minute or so went by, when you heard the Cardinal whisper: “I think we’re safe now, sorella.”

You carefully nodded in response.

He exhaled deeply and let himself fall backwards onto the grass. “What a ride. I surely won’t need another one of those”, he mumbled, laying on his back.

You playfully pouted at him. “Aw, are you sure? It was so much fun though!”

“Are you out of your mind? Nearly getting beheaded by Papa Secondo is, eh, not what I would call fun, cara”, he chuckled.

Crawling over to him, you grinned mischievously. You sat down directly next to him, the side of your thigh touching his arm. “Well, okay, that part was a little scary. But riding the tricycle together was pretty fun, wasn’t it?”

A smile crept up on his face. “The most I’ve had in a while, yes. Thank you for that, cara.”

“See? There you go!”, you laughed, giving his shoulder a small bump.

Cardinal Copia looked at you with the softest gaze you had ever seen. His eyes shimmered as the light of day was slowly disappearing with the setting sun. You gave him a warm smile in return.

He lifted himself up into a sitting position and turned to face you. Only then you realized how close you were to him. Mere centimeters divided the two of you at this point.

"Sorella", he breathed, bringing a hand up to your cheek, "I've been meaning to tell you something, but I couldn’t bring myself to do so."

"What is it?"

Your heart started pounding, as you awaited his response with excitement.

"You make me feel happy. Even just seeing your face for a moment when we encounter each other briefly in the corridors during our daily business makes my heart soar. I don't think anyone has ever made me feel like this", he confessed, struggling to keep eye contact. "And I just feel like I must tell you that I enjoy your company, cara. I really do. I, eh, I like you. A lot."

The corners of your mouth twitched upwards. You struggled to keep yourself from grinning like an idiot. "Well, I really enjoy your company too, Cardinal. I'm glad you feel the same."

He smiled bashfully. "I did not expect you to request what you did when I asked you how I can make it up to you. You know, eh, after our little… accident. I was somehow hoping for something else. But now, honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way."

A small giggle escaped you. "That's lovely. But do tell me, what did you hope for exactly?", you asked, inching a little closer.

He got visibly flustered by your question. "I, eh… well, I hoped… hm. I would rather not tell you right now. Maybe some other time."

"Fine, then. Keep your secrets", you answered with a wink.

A deep chuckle escaped his throat. "Ah, cara. You're so sweet, I could kiss you right now."

Then go ahead and do it, you thought.

Your eyes spoke to him before your tongue did. A brief exchange of gazes told him all he needed to know, and he closed the gap between you, gently placing his lips on yours.

Butterflies fluttered in your chest as you tenderly wrapped your arms around him. The kiss felt like it lasted a whole eternity, and at the same time it was over way too soon for your liking. You broke the kiss, exchanging a loving gaze. The Cardinal’s mismatched irises bore holes into your soul, as he gently stroked your cheekbone with his thumb.

“My love, would you like to go for another ride on my tricycle again, sometime? I think I could imagine this becoming part of my daily routines.”

“That can be arranged, I think”, you replied with a mischievous smile.

“Good”, Copia hummed, giving you another small peck on the lips, “I expect you to meet me in the halls tomorrow afternoon. Don’t be late. And maybe, bring a helmet.”

#cardinal copia x reader #ghost x reader #reader insert #cardinal copia #cardinal copia fanfiction #copia x reader #cardi c #ghost band #the band ghost fanfic #cardinal copia x reader oneshot #oneshot #my fanfics

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buggyandthebartoclub · 7 months

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Some SFW Goofy / Silly HC's for Shachi!! For my beloved @mandiemegatron - my beloved Shachi mutual <3 THESE HC ARE SFW MY BLOG IS NOT head the warnings above! Ageless blogs without 'adult' in bio will be blocked if you interact!

Goofy/Random Shachi HC's (Silly/Goofy Shachi in love at the bottom as a bonus)

Music taste alternates between heavy rock and the cringiest shit you’ve ever heard bc it made him laugh ( He and Penguin listen to bbno$ and Yung Gravy, and I think that’s hilarious - pry that one from my cold dead hands.)

LOVES puns. I mean, just look at his fucking hat!

Also loves being cheesy/cheesy stuff. Silly poses, cringe outfits, bad puns, b rated movies, tacky patterns, you name it. If it makes a normal person cringe even just a little he LOVES it! (Again.. look at his hat!)

Also likes cute stuff like Law, but not embarrassed by it (see above point) and will go overboard w it if he’s messing w Law (imagine that one post of them all going to see the barbie movie?? Pen made Law promise for them dress up for it but Shachi got the outfits ready that’s how I imagined that happening anyway )

Either super great or absolute dog shit at games. No in between. Avoids the ones he sucks at like the plague. Is a sore loser and WILL pout if he’s lost enough times (still pouts even if he only loses a little but its more subtle and he can get over it quicker lol)

His jokes/humor are also the same as his style and game talents, His jokes are usually cheesy, and either really fuckin funny or absolute cringiest shit you’ve ever heard, almost no in-between

Loves pranks. Goes without saying really

Has this uncanny knack for finding things people would be unable to decide if they like or not, like say a keychain of their fave character for example, but the character is doing some weird bizarre ooc shit or its some on the most unhinged knock off of the original they’ve ever seen

Will tell you wrong information with his whole ass chest. He believes it. He is a a bit dumbass. Himbo-y if you will. Is shocked when he realizes he is in fact wrong and thinks you’re fucking with him. Always takes a minute to convince him he’s actually wrong even though no one is ever fucking with him when they tell him he’s wrong NOT saying he is rude or mean about it is just genuinely shocked he’s wrong what do you MEAN you’re serious that much salt doesn’t go in there you’re just trying to mess him up haha Ikaku… oh shit Ikaku was serious!! that was too much salt wtf!!

Hes always joking so he thinks everyone else is too sometimes… to his own detriment occasionally lol, always says sorry after for not taking them seriously after with an embarrassed laugh ————Silly/Goofy in Love Shachi HC’s————

Mad dumb when in love/crushing

Im talking giggly, wiggly, ramp up the funny guy act by 10 (at first, he does chill out the longer the crush lasts/the more he’s around them/the more developed the relationship is)

Mixes up words a lot and says lots of goofy shit, esp when trying to be punny AND flirty, his poor brain can’t always keep up

Heartfelt/over the top romantic, gets pretty cheesy

Cheesy is honestly core staple of his personality, you have to love laughing and having fun to be with him for sure because that’s what fills most of your days together if you’re with him

Is a tickle monster, uses it to his advantage to get more cuddles and/or kisses in And make his partner laugh

If he thinks something about him turns his partner/crush on/they like that about him will go out of his way to try and show off even after getting together. Like his arms? Will tie down the top half of his suit and claim to be hot while working.. when its super cold lol - not subtle at all, plays dumb when teased about it

Dishes it out way harder than he can take it, is a bit of a baby if teased too much- will deny at all costs. Still tells you if it was a good burn tho later on

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madstronaut · 3 months

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it is currently madstro'clock and it is FaFiCoWriYear in this house

the original FaFiCoWriMo post feels too long to keep reblogging but I'm choking laughing right now because I decided to link it and this image above is what I see - FUCK IT WE BALL 😂😂😂😂😂😂 (truly my whole tumblr vibe)

me: gonna plug away at commenting on all the fics I’ve read lately that I love hmm should take a break

also me: *takes break by looking for other fics to read*

I was completely taken off-guard by stumbling on this fic while mindlessly scrolling on tumblr and having it show up in my recs, so yes i live-blogged by reading even though I HAVE SO MANY OTHER DRAFTS OPEN BUT IT'S COS I END UP RE-READING CERTAIN FICS OVER AND OVER AND I KEEP FINDING NEW COMMENTS TO WRITE IM STILL THINKNIG OF COMMENTS I MISSED ON FICS I ALREADY COMMENTED ON BUT ANYWAY AHEM-

without further ado, pls stay for the rambly thoughts, then flee in fright because of the increasing levels of unhinged commentar-

Reading: Touch-starved Nikto fic series by @keysorsomething

- "his current running theory was that you must have some form of brain damage. Perhaps you were dropped as a baby."

hehehehehehehe i swear nikto writers capture what i think would be his sense of humor with bullseye accuracy imho

- “His bright blue eyes broke through the dim lighting as if they were backlit by two LED bulbs in his skull.”

“You crack your eye open, meeting his piercing blue stare, like hot water down the back of your shirt.”

OMG TRULY THIS ENCAPSULATES THE EXPERIENCES OF BEHOLDING HIS EYES/WHAT I IMAGINE EYE CONTACT WITH NIKTO IS LIKE???

- “Maybe you could weird him out enough for him to leave you be..?”

literally held my breath reading the next few paragraphs til I read “He’s very gentle”

I don’t know what exactly it is about gentle touch but it can cut through people’s armor & walls like butter IRL and in fic and I JUST *am exploding, cannot type further*

- “His eyes looked like he was blinking on occasion, which was actually mildly upsetting because there goes your Christmas present for him.”

honestly what a thoughtful gift for the reader to get him eyedrops lmao *tell me u have a crush without telling me u have a crush, oh nothing just got you an extremely specific gift cos I noticed small details about you*

- “Did this count at fraternization?”

LMAO READER THIS MADE ME CRY LAUGHING “Im SORRy i woNT TOUCH HIM WITH TWO FINGERS AGAIN, IM SORRY I MISSED IT IN MY CONTRACT COS I WAS TOO BUSY STARING AT ALL THE $$$$-

- “I wanna know what’s up-” you pause “-man,” you tack it on, but quickly feel like you shouldn’t have. Who the fuck calls a guy like this man?

omg I am alr in love i fucking looooove awkward!readers

- trope alert trope alert trope alert STORAGE CLOSET READER? REALLY? (yes please god yes im so happy rn)

i would like to kneel before this all-powerful goofy ass awkward adorable reader who has nikto scared in a closet looking for ways out

- “Not like that,” You correct, and he just eyes you more confusedly. “I mean, not yet..? Look,” You sigh,”

the “i mean, not yet” - like omg nikto if i was in ur shoes hearing this i would have to suppress the strong urge to immediately make out and probably fail to stopper the hearts exploding from my body (and ofc hide the involuntary boner popping maybe hello?)

- ““See you tonight,” Klaus mocks.”

i pity these fools, reader has just tamed nikto, i would beat all their asses immediately singlehandedly from the sheer high and power trip i would be on

- if someone referred to me as ‘one of the three snoopiest bitches on base’ i would get it tattooed on my collarbones probably

- ‘being called into König’s office and being scolded about fraternizing’ - thisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonig

- ‘His guns are neatly lined up against the wall, biggest to smallest.’

CUTECUTECUTECUTECUTECUTE omg i just know he prob has nicknames for them too

- ““Нет,” He replies firmly. He’s in more comfortable clothes, something you��ve never seen before.”

i am probably dating myself here but at the tight t-shirt and sweats description all i hear is BOWCHICKAWOWOWOWWWWW

- “Your eyes stay on him intensely as he lays down in the bed, sliding under the covers. “You are here to help us sleep,”

ok all my horniness left me (ok almost all not all of it of course not i would die) and i just felt so tender and awwwwwwww of it all, esp. the reader comparing his grip to a child with their lovie :(

- “You see the faint, deep-brown shaping of his brows, his long eyelashes, the scar that covers the right side, but most importantly, the pale gleam of his skin in the little light.

He had washed the eyeblack off. And he had done it just for you.”

I am left speechless here; the buildup to this scene is storytelling and climactic perfection in my opinion

then i clicked on next part and it is titled “caught” and i screamed out loud lol

- “You dare to even think you want the world to melt away, for time to be this moment and this moment alone, always and forever, but should you really let him boss you around like that?”

looooooooove, totally captures that feeling when u have one of those 'time stands still/you wished time stood still' moments IRL

also YES READER WITH A SPINE/BRAIN IS ALSO MY OTHER KINK

- also as much as ive somehow developed a bizarrely unquenchable thirst for graves (do not @ me, i know, i have problems and I love it) canon graves is exactly how id imagine he’d be like in this fic esp with the constant mansplaining

- "How do you deny a masked man who’s speaking in his mother tongue?"

YOU CANT. YOU JUST CAN’T! IT’S A LAW OF NATURE. IT IS SCIENTIFIC FACT. IT IS IRREFUTABLE. IT IS ABSOLUTE TRUTH. IT IS DIVINE DOGMA. IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-

- “When you look into his eyes, you feel like he wants nothing more than to touch you, and you feel he agrees that this moment is ever so precious. But he doesn’t want to touch you. Perhaps he’s afraid, or perhaps he doesn’t like his face being touched, so he won’t touch yours. The Golden Rule and all that.”

“It’s all the best thing to ever happen in this place, and you have a feeling it’s the best thing to have ever happened to him.”

““Nikto?” You ask, voice soft and wavering, like if you speak too loud you’ll create a rip in space-time and it will have never happened.”

again i feel like someone has snipershot me to the heart with tenderness, everything about this fic and the premise just speaks to a core desire i have to create moments like this, to bypass someone’s armor and touch their heart, and be a source of healing for hurt just by the gift of our mere presence and vice versa - and have this moment and memory become an indescribable source of light and strength in dark and dreary times to be taken out and relived over and over again as needed (or is it just me that does this lol idk)

fanfic writers never change and keep creating pls <3 ur words create worlds that inspire and brighten our IRL world <3

- i am deeply moved by the indescribable tenderness of nikto waking reader up by softly patting their cheek - this man known and infamous for his harshness and aggression - UNF

- “As always, they are an icy blue that doesn’t match the feeling of having them on you at all. But by now they feel so much cooler than before, like a warm hug or a heated blanket instead of a hot iron.”

if you’ve known any blue-eyed folx up close i have most def seen their eye color change with emotions, sooo fascinating and hot

- ummmmm my jaw fucking dropped when i realized he leaned in…TO KISS HER? I THOUGHT HE WAS ALSO GONNA REST HIS EYES AND JUST SLEEP FOR A BIT NEXT TO HER? OMG the emotional rOLLERCOASTER THIS STORY HAS TAKEN ME ON *running to download it as we speak*

- BUT aHHHH HTHE ACTUAL SCREAM WHEN READER RUNS INTO KONIG

- omg when reader starting sniffling i just want to hug her and also go back in the room and yell at konig OMG YOU MADE OUR HIGHLY TRAINED PMC-LEVEL KILLER READER CINNAMON ROLL CRY I WILL HURT YOU SIR IDK HOW COS IM LIKE 5’2 BUT IF I HAVE TO CLIMB U LIKE A TREE TO DO SO I WILL TO GET IN YOUR FACE-

- “Who the hell can you trust? Both not to talk, but also with Nikto.” - ends up being Velikan meanwhile me busy shredding the post-it behind my back hoping/suggesting it’s dmitry bale and trying not to cry- (ignore me dmitry is my current hyper fixation)

- i wont lie i am both so heart warmed by how tender and sweet reader is for being so good at reading body language and also laughing my ass off at her having this kinda complicated conversation with velikan who does not talk, mostly growls also while typing this his name autocorrected to pelican and i cannot stop fucking laughing

- omg DMITRY REFERENCE I SCREAMED OUT LOUD (it’s like 1130pm where i am, sorry to my apt neighbors)

- also omg i am crying at this allegiance letter with sputnik, i love both how thoughtful and it is and how it highlights each member and their personality - and that the return of sputnik returned some good memories back to nikto <3, shoutout to any PTSD folx who also deal with blankouts, flashbacks, and having good memory recall be a total struggle street - i think i would openly sob if someone did for me the emotional equivalent of what velikan (and allegiance and by extension reader) did for nikto here with sputnik <3 (and now im remembering IRL times people have done this for me and now im crying omg THE POWER OF FANFIC Y’ALL)

-AH YEGOR CAMEO? MY FAVORITE UKRAINIAN OPERATOR IN ALL OF COD? (madstro, there’s only one ukrainian operat-SHUT UP I SAID MY FAVORITE UKRAINIAN OPERATOR SHOWED UP)

- also i love how Velikan is written here - “This motherfucker was going to get him put on Fatal Attractions.” i would chill and fuck with him and also probably kill for him hahaha jk or am i-

- very into this irresponsible driver yet simultaneously responsible dog dad rodion rn

- also love the small touch of velikan removing his mask to look yegor in the eye asking if krueger is dead or not

the absolute ride this fic took me on???? incredible incredible incredible this is going in my list of top favorite COD fics @keysorsomething and if i could boost this in the nikto fics tag i would but i'll mostly just be salivating here in the corner over this fic in the meantime, tyvm <3

#madstrothought #FaFiCoWriMo #call of duty #nikto #Keysorsomething #touch-starved nikto fics #The Shape #Easing Into It #Into The Hyena's Den #SPUTNIK the hyena #Bright & Early #Unprofessional #Everyone has a Reason to Stay (Primireniye)

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lurlur · 1 year

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I've been getting into hockey for the last, like, 16 months. I'm running a little bit of a fever. I'm British so the concept of mascots is a little bit weird to me. Let's do this.

In order of the current whole league standings, as of January 25th 2023:

Rating the NHL mascots

Part 1

Completely arbitrarily! My system makes no sense!

Boston Bruins

Blades the Bruin

Bruin means bear, so this makes sense as a choice. I guess I get what they were going for with the name but it just kinda makes it sound like a low level gangster. Feels like they couldn't decide whether to make a teddy bear or a scary bear and just got an unsettling middle ground. The eyes are very dead.

Vibes: 6/10

Aesthetic: 4/10

Horror: 3/10

Fuckability: 3/10

Overall, 4/10. Not awful, but not great.

Honourable mention for methbear from the winter classic this year. That was a design team that knew how to make choices.

Carolina Hurricanes

Stormy

Stormy is, apparently, a pig. If there's some obvious North Carolina/pig connection, I'm not aware of it. Stormy feels very low effort. The design is weak and lacking in character. It doesn't even look like a good fur suit, tbh. Very big eyes so we're definitely not trying to be intimidating here. Stormy must not be one of those 30-50 feral hogs you used to hear so much about.

Vibes: 5/10

Aesthetic: 2/10

Horror: 0/10

Fuckability: 1/10

Overall, 2/10. Horrible but not for interesting reasons.

New Jersey Devils

NJ Devil

Why does it have abdominal muscles? Clearly, this one is a slut, which I approve of. The name is super uninspired and the design is pretty obvious, but I still find myself on the way to liking it. It's got character and it's not trying to be too human. I know it's not what the New Jersey devil is actually supposed to be, but it looks a horrible kind of fun. What that tongue do?

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetic: 5/10

Horror: 5/10

Fuckability: 7/10

Overall, 6/10. I don't love it, but I don't hate it either and that's something.

Toronto Maple Leafs

Carlton the Bear

Carlton is named after the street where the old Leafs arena was. And he's an adorable polar bear. Look at him. He's like the coca cola polar bear without the mischief. That's a face you can trust. Looks like he gives great hugs. I would like to find out.

Vibes: 10/10

Aesthetic: 9/10

Horror: 0/10

Fuckability: 8/10

Overall, 7/10, but the lack of horror is a feature and not a bug. So really he's 9/10.

Dallas Stars

Victor E. Green

There's so much to hate here. The name is a bad pun on the Stars "victory green" colours. The character is supposed to be an alien but the design is so lazy. They could have gone in so many directions with this one and instead they just did this. Why even have a mascot if you're going to put this little effort in? No expression. No character. Just green.

Vibes: 2/10

Aesthetic: 2/10

Horror: 1/10

Fuckability: 1/10

Overall, 1.5/10. Very bad showing.

Winnipeg Jets

Mick E. Moose

Someone's trying to get suuuueeedddd! Nah, it's been over a decade and the mouse doesn't appear to have come knocking so I guess the jorts are getting away with it. Mick, here, looks quite the formidable fellow. I like his flying cap and absolutely unhinged expression. I truly believe that he could find me in my dreams and make me regret decisions I haven't even made yet. There's something wrong with him and it looks interesting.

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetic: 8/10

Horror: 7/10

Fuckability: 8/10

Overall, 7.5/10. Very respectable. I will see you in my nightmares, Mr Moose.

Tampa Bay Lightning

ThunderBug

ThunderBug is a lightning bug. Sensible choice for the Lightning. I've seen him on broadcasts a few times but never been able to ascertain if his butt glows. I think it should and anyone who disagrees is wrong. The first time I saw him, he had a big fake beard and I was not a fan of that look at all. Unadorned, I think he's a decent mix of cute and goofy. He's definitely got some character and energy to him.

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetic: 7/10

Horror: 1/10

Fuckability: 6/10

Overall, 5/10. Again, lack of horror is not really a negative. This is a pretty good boy.

Vegas Golden Knights

Chance the Gila Monster

Look at this boy. This is what perfection looks like. I think he should be President of the whole world. I would marry him tomorrow. Look at those kind eyes and sweet smile. He could fit my whole head in his mouth and I would thank him. He's literally never done anything wrong in his whole life. You can't see it in this photo, but he even has a very cute tail. Best boy. The only horror would be at the thought that he might not love me.

Vibes: 100/10

Aesthetic: 100/10

Horror: 0/10

Fuckability: 10/10

Overall, perfection. The platonic ideal of mascots.

LA Kings

Bailey

This is Bailey. Bailey is a lion. This is, apparently, a pretty new look for Bailey. He used to look a lot meaner but he underwent cosmetic surgery and now looks like this. I wish that wasn't the story that the Kings used to relaunch a mascot with a difficult history... But here we are. I'm just judging mascots. Bailey looks weird for a lion, too dark, too smiley, not enough teeth. I feel like there's a spark missing here. Something that would bring life and character to Bailey. He's just a bit generic and underwhelming.

Vibes: 5/10

Aesthetic: 4/10

Horror: 2/10

Fuckability: 3/10

Overall, 3.5/10. Could have and should have done better.

Seattle Kraken

Buoy the Troll

New for this season, Buoy the Troll has a lot of attention to detail that I really like. He's got stuff in his hair and ears that tell of a nautical background. I'm pretty sure he fucked a kraken. I feel like "troll" is a cop out in the same way that "alien" is, but Buoy makes it work better. My main gripe with Buoy is that I can't make myself say the name out loud. It's not said the way that I pronounce the word. That bothers me more than it should.

Vibes: 8/10

Aesthetic: 8/10

Horror: 3/10

Fuckability: 2/10

Overall, 5/10. Largely because fuckability goes way down if I can't say your name.

New York Rangers

None

Perfect. No notes. Keep doing what you're doing, sweeties. This is the best way to have a mascot: not at all.

Vibes: immaculate

Aesthetic: unparalleled

Horror: unknowable

Fuckability: Schrödinger's fuckability

Overall, no one else is doing it like the Rangers. And they should. (not you, Vegas. Obviously)

Full disclosure, I fell asleep at this point. So now I have to use the standings as of Thursday 26/01. Deal with it.

Edmonton Oilers

Hunter the Lynx

I hate it. I'm saving you from the image, but please know that this lynx also has sculpted abdominals. Again with the bad fur suit vibes, the face is the stuff of nightmares, I'm deeply upset by the jowls. Should the NHL start hiring furries to design their mascots? MAYBE!

Vibes: 2/10 Aesthetic: 1/10 Horror: 8/10 Fuckability: 1/10 Overall, 3/10. Horrible. Soulless. Bad in a bad way, not even a fun way.

Pittsburgh Penguins

Iceburgh

Mixed feelings here, gotta be honest. Love the name and, obviously, it had to be a penguin. He looks pretty fun. But the beak and eyes are giving me "lifeless glove puppet" energy. He could be more penguiny and less flat. Curse the performer's need to see and breathe, eh?

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetics: 5/10

Horror: 3/10

Fuckability: 2/10

Overall, 4/10 because he loses out on both horror and fuckability by looking too socklike. Sorry, Iceburgh.

Washington Capitals

Slapshot

Slapshot is a really big seagull eagle. He looks pretty fierce, which is not an expression I'm used to seeing on bald eagles. Beautiful plumage. I like him. Good vibes, I think. No word on whether he also has abs to flash at us, but I'm choosing to believe that he doesn't. It's better this way. I wouldn't trust him not to steal my chips though.

Vibes: 8/10

Aesthetic: 8/10

Horror: 4/10

Fuckability: 8/10

Overall, 7/10. Really decent showing for this birb.

Colorado Avalanche

Bernie the St. Bernard

That's a good boy right there. Look at his little barrel! The face is missing something that I can't quite put my finger on, but I do like the lolling tongue and droopy jowls. Maybe what's missing is copious amounts of drool? Just something to make it look a bit more alive and engaged? I know it's possible, I've seen it on other mascots!

Vibes: 9/10

Aesthetics: 7/10

Horror: 2/10

Fuckability: 3/10

Overall, 5/10. He's a good dog, Brant.

Calgary Flames

Harvey the Hound

What the fuck is this? Why does it have a metre long tongue? (Not gonna lie, that's points in favour for fuckability) You know those vintage photos of kids meeting the easter bunny only it looks like everyone involved was in hell? That's what I'm getting from this. Dead face. Cheap fur suit. He does know how to accessorise though, check that hat/collar/belt combo.

Vibes: 2/10

Aesthetics: 4/10

Horror: 5/10

Fuckability: 5/10

Overall, 4/10. What that tongue do?

Part 2 is here!

#nhl mascots #nhl #hockey #lurlur rates mascots

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colorfulyetsinful · 1 year

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I wrote this on my phone again😀

You could tell with the amount of emojis I used, anyways

Tim is literally my favorite I never shut up about him and bc of that this list is so goddamn long. I honestly tried to be consistent but I was going off the top of my head

Enjoy and become apart of the Tim Drake cult😈

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Tim Drake hc!!! WOAH!

Nepotism baby

He’s a rich child with inheritance and basically running two separate businesses

Nepotism at its finest✨

Since he was usually on his own (due to his parent working) he used Batman and Robin as a form of escapism

Kinda lonely

He’ll talk to himself as if he was talking to Batman and Robin

Definitely ran a Batman and/or Gotham vigilante stan account on Twitter

Toxic fan **tm**

no literally, he would argue with anyone who disagreed on him that Batman was the best hero,

especially if they were Metropolis

bc why tf do they always have to involve themselves in everything Gotham🤨

Two words: Parasocial relationship

had an unhealthy obsession with Robin!Jason,

Robin!Jason saved him ONCE (1x) and it was down hill from there

Def locked himself in his room, sobbing, screaming, pulling his hair, and throwing up when Jason died.

News: Jason Todd, son of Billionaire Bruce Wayne, pronounced death! Read more to find out.

Tim: NOO!

Vaild tho,

who wasn’t crying when Jason died?

(The joker)

Wha-

He had a celebrity crush on Dick (not ship related),

no one knows about it (it’s all over his stan account that he made sure will never see the light of day),

he’s taking that secret to the grave

I say this a lot about Tim, but

Whore **tm**

have you seen his body count?!

definitely followed in Dick’s footsteps

Strange is what ppl say about him,

vaild tho,

if I had to sit next to Tim in class, I would find him strange too

Adhd coded,

why do ya think he keeps himself busy?! He literally can’t sit still

Also no insomnia,

he just suffers from chronic nightmares that keeps him from getting proper rest,

So de just decided not to sleep

“Nightmares can’t effect me if I don’t sleep”

Yeah, scarecrow has nothing on him,

poor guy’s had worse

Even after getting adopted, he never really felt part of the family,

Always feeling like he has to prove something to Bruce to stay as robin,

Which is why, when Dick had Damian be Robin, Tim felt like he had no place in the family anymore

That’s why he went a little insane

It’s cool, they’re fine now…

Speaking of insane,

Tim is like the one robin in the family I would not want to fight

Like compare to the others,

(Dick has experience form doing it for so long + mf is giggling and joking while kicking ass,

Jason is just kid with daddy issues and a gun, it’s America, been there seen it,

And Damian has both daddy and mommy issues, angain nothing really special)

Tim is just purely unhinged,

he’s got everything to prove without the care in the world what happens to him,

don’t forget his mad scientist era

What I’m trying to say is that Tim is scary and you have a better chance fighting Damian or Jason

(at least they kinda make it quick)

Ok back to silly goofy hc :D

Tim used to write Batman fanfics,

it’s true I was his screensaver

He used them all wattpad, fanfic.net, ao3, tumblr, etc

It was mostly “original character” fics, that were actually self inserts

as escapism

(He’s def taking that to the grave)

Stephanie found out about it and he was planing her “disappearance” within a rive minute timeframe

Speaking of Steph,

They cringe every time someone brings up the fact that they used to date

*hold cute picture of Steph/Tim* Awe you guys were so cute, ashamed you two broke up

Them: *gag*

He loves Steph tho, she’s his ride or die

As I mentioned in my Accent hc,

Tim knows a lot of languages bc rich kid

Him and Damian talk to each other in mandarin, mostly bc it’s a language they both know fluently

He tried to learn Arabic so Damian could feel comfortable talking to him,

(This is after the many times he’s tried to kill him, but hey what are brother’s for..?)

He couldn’t quite get the pronunciation right, and just said “fuck it we speaking mandarin”

Literally, they don’t even speak in English to each other anymore,

Like if it’s just them talk, other ppl they’ll translate or they’re talking shit

Tim and Damian actually get along,

Like it was rough at first, but living together really forces the two to get along

(Imma add more about them in a different hc)

Also Dick Grayson!!

Did I mention he had a parasocial relationship?

Yeah, Dick was not excluded from that

He knew Dick was mostly giving him the time of day bc he felt guilt about not being there enough for Jason,

But he doesn’t care

He knew what he was doing going to Dick about being Robin,

“You gotta be Robin again. Batman needs Robin”

“Idk who you are kid, but I am not wear that thing again. Plus blue is more my color. You wearing if you think it’ll help Bruce”

*Tim already at the display case* “I mean…if you insist”

Stalker

Nothing else to add to that

He’s the best to take to galas (or just to deal with high society in general) having grew up with lessons on how to be a “proper young man”

Study abroad at one point,

It was in Switzerland

Has a staring problem

Literally. Imagine just minding your business in a public area and turning to see (👁️👁️) staring death at you without blinking

Don’t worry, it’s just his adhd taking over the most part of his brain

He actually hates black coffee, but it’s the only think strong enough to have him away (so he won’t get nightmares)

He watches anime,

Specifically, shonen anime and BL (boylove)

He watches anime with Damian while arguing about the main pairing not working bc the “male love interest is obviously gay”

He wrote fanfics, you think he won’t be a shipper?

Can sing,

Like really good

Jason caught him singing in his room at like 2:30 in the morning and sent a video to the group chat

*jason sent a video*

Jason: ya see this shit😀

Everyone goes crazy bc Tim sounds so nice

The thing is, Tim never hid the fact that he can sing, just never said it out load

But if you were really pay attention to him, you could have caught him lightly singing to himself any indie or viral tiktok song while he does basic tasks

Everyone now has a mission of trying to catch him in the act,

Only Alfred and Cass knew he could sing

Bart knows about his identity before he told the team,

Bc Yk future and all

So him and Tim just naturally became closer over time as Tim could rant to Bart without worrying about his identity being blown

(More about this in another hc)

Cannon that he cross dresses

I think that’s it for now…

#batfam #batman #dick grayson #tim drake #jason todd #bruce wayne #red robin #robin #dc characters #batfamily headcanons #batfam headcanons #dc headcanon #idk what other tags to add #I have more hcs for tim but I can’t think right now it’s 12am #I love Tim Drake #hes my favorite robin next to robin!Jason

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